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The seeker after Wisdom, whose Bliss is non-existence, the Devotee of the Most Excellent Bhâvani,235 the Wanderer in the Samsâra Câkkra, the Insect that crawls on Earth, on Seb beneath Nuit, the Purusha beyond Ishwara: He taketh up the Pen of the Ready Writer, to record those Mysterious Happenings which came unto him in His search for Himself. And the beginning is of Spells, and of Conjurations and of Evocations of the Evil Ones: Things Unlawful to write of, dangerous even to think of; wherefore they are not here written. But he beginneth with his sojourning in the Isle of Lanka:236 the time of his dwelling with Mâitrânanda Swâmi.237 Wherefore, O Bhâvani, bring Thou all unto the Proper End! To Thee be Glory—OM.
On the 6th of August P. landed in Colombo, and on the following day he went to see his old friend Frater I.A. who was now studying Buddhism with the view of becoming a Buddhist monk. On this vary day he commenced, or rather continued his mediation practices; for we hind him trying with Mâitrânanda the result of speech as a disturbing factor in Dhâranâ (meditation). the experiment was as follows: P. sat and meditated for five minutes on a white Tau (T) during which Mâitrânanda spoke six times with the object of {150} seeing if it would interrupt P.’s meditation. The result on the first occasion was a bad break; second, two bad breaks; third to sixth, no breaks occurred. At the end of the experiment P. was able to repeat all Mâitrânda had said except the last remark.238
August 9th. Practised Mental Muttering of the Mantra: "Namo Shivaya Namaha Aum." I found that with Rechaka the voice sounds as if from the Con- fines of the Universe: but with Puraka as if from the third eye. Whilst doing this in the Saivite Â’sana239 I found the eyes, without conscious volition, are drawn up and behold the third eye. (Ajna Chakkra.) 10th. A day of revelation of Arcana. Ten minutes Â’sana and breathing exer- cise. Latter unexpectedly trying. Also practised Mental Muttering whilst in Â’sana. Repeating "Namo Shivaya Aum," which takes, roughly 86 seconds for 50 repetitions, "i.e." about 1,000 in half an hour. I practised this Mantra for thirty minutes: 10 minutes aloud; 10 minutes in silence; 10 minutes by hearing.240 11th. Recited the Mantra for about 1 ½ hour while painting a talisman.{151} It was on this day I got a broken-bell-sound241 in my head when not doing anything particular. August 12th. Â’sana and Breathing 10 minutes. One fears to do Rechaka, so tremendous and terrible is the Voice of the Universe. But with Puraka is a still small Voice. concerning which Mâtrânanda said to me: "Listen not to that Great and terrible Voice: but penetrate and hear the subtle soul thereof." 13th. Prânâyâma: Five cycles 5 minutes 15 seconds. Mantra (N.S.N.A.)242 Half an hour. Ears begin to sing at about the twentieth minute. Towards the end I heard a soft sound as of a silver tube being struck very gently with a soft mallet.
These sounds are known as the Voice of the Nada, and are a sure sign that progress is being made. They, as already mentioned, are the mystical inner sounds which proceed from the Anahata Chakkra. According to the Hath Yoga Pradipika these sounds proceed from the Sushumnâ. "They are in all of ten sorts; buzzing sound, sound of the lute, of bells, of waves, of thunder, of falling rain, etc."
Close the ears, the nose, the mouth and the eyes: then a clear sound is heard distinctly in the Sushumnâ (which has been purified by Prânâyâma).243
The "Pradipika" further states that in all yogi practices there are four stages: Arambha, Gata, Parichaya and Nishpatti. In the first (Arambhâvasthâ) that is when the Anahata Chakkra is pierced by Prânâyâma various sweet tinkling sounds arise from the Âkâsa of the heart.
When the sound begins to be heard in the Shunya (Âkâsa), the Yogi possessed of a body resplendent and giving out sweet odour, is free from all diseases and his heart is filled (with Prâna).244
In the second stage (Ghatâvasthâ) the Prâna becomes one with the Nada in the Vishuddhi Chakkra and make a sound like that of a kettledrum; this is a sign that Bramhânanda is about to follow. In the third stage (Parichayâvastha) a sound like a drum is heard in the Ajna Chakkra. Having overcome the blissful state arising from hearing the sounds the Yogi begins to experience a greater bliss from the increasing realization of the Âtman.
The Prâna, having forced the Rudra Granthi existing in the Ajna Chakkra goes to the seat of Ishwara. Then the fourth state (Nishpatti) sets in: wherein are heard the sounds of the flute and Vînâ (a stringed instrument).245
At this stage the Prâna goes to the Bramharandhra, and enters the Silence. This is all most beautifully described in the various Shastras. In the Shiva Sanhita we read:
27. The first sound is like the hum of the honey-intoxicated bee, next that of a flute, then of a harp; after this, by the gradual practice of Yoga,246 the destroyer of the darkness of the world, he hears the sounds of the ringing bells, then sounds like roars of thunder. When one fixes his full attention on this sound, being free from fear, he gets absorption, O My Beloved!
28. When the mind of the Yogi is exceedingly engaged in this sound, he forgets all external things, and is absorbed in this sound.247
H. P. Blavatsky in "The Voice of the Silence" classifies these sounds under seven distinct heads.
The first is like the nightingale’s sweet voice chanting a song of parting to its mate.
The second comes as the sound of a silver cymbal of the Dhyânîs, awakening the twinkling stars.{153}
The next is as the plaint melodious of the ocean-spriote imprisoned in its shell. And this is followed by the chant of vînâ.
The fifth like sound of bamboo-flute shrills in thine ear. It changes next into a trumpet-blast.
The last vibrates like the dull rumbling of a thunder-cloud.
The seventh swallows all the other sounds. They die, and then are heard no more.248
The Hatha Yoga Pradipika is a great deal more exact in its description of these sounds than the famous Theosophist; concerning them Swâtmârâm Swâmi writes:
In the beginning, the sounds resemble those of the ocean, the clouds, the kettledrum, and Zarzara (a sort of drum cymbal); in the middle they resemble those arising from the Mardala, the conch, the bell, and the horn.
In the end they resemble those of the tinkling bells, the flutes, the vînâ, and the bees. Thus are heard the various sounds from the middle of the body.
Even when the loud sounds of the clouds and the kettledrum are heard, he should try to fix his attention on the subtler sounds.
He may change his attention from the lull to the subtle sounds, but should never allow his attention to wander to other extraneous objects.
The mind fixes itself upon the Nâda to which it is first attracted until it becomes one with it.249
Many other passages occur in this little text book on Yoga dealing with these mystical sounds some of them of a combined beauty and wisdom which is hard to rival. Such as:
When the mind, divested of its flighty nature, is bound by the cords of the Nâda, it attains a state of extreme concentration and remains quiet as a bird that has lost its wings.
Nâda is like a snare for catching a deer, "i.e.", the mind. It, like a hunter, kills the deer.
The mind, having become unconscious, like a serpent, on hearing the musical sounds, does not run away.{154}
The fire, that burns a piece of wood, dies, as soon as the wood is burnt out. So the mind concentrated upon the Nâda gets absorbed with it.
When the Antahkarana, like a deer, is attracted by the sound of bells, etc., and remains immovable, a skilful archer can kill it. Whatever is heard of the nature of sound is only Shakti.250
The conception of Akâsa251 (the generator of sound) exists, as long as the sound is heard. The Soundless is called Parabramha or Paramâtma252
August 14th. Bought a meditation-mat and also a bronze Buddha. Nadi-Yama253 10 minutes in the Saivite posture, in which my body-seat fits exactly into a square of about 18 inches forming the letter Aleph. Mantra (N.S.N.A.). At the 28th minute got faint sounds like a musical box worked by a mallet on metal bars. As I stopped I heard a piano very distant. The intense attention requisite to try to catch the subtle sounds of the Universe when in Rechaka prevents Mantra, as my mental muttering is not yet absolutely automatic. 15th. By the five signs my Nadi are now purified.254 But this appears to me as unlikely. Eyes on tip of nose. 5 minutes. The nose grows very filmy and the rest of the field of vision loses its uprightness and is continually sliding into itself across itself. A most annoying phenomenon. Nadi-Yama. 15 minutes. This becomes easier. Mental Muttering of Aum Shivayavashi.
On the 17th August PO. and Mâitrânanda left Colombo and journeyed to Kandy; Swami Mâitrânanda more particularly for his health; but P. so that he might escape the turmoil of a sea-port and to discover a suitable and secluded spot for a magical retirement, which he now had made up his mind to perform.
19th. Concentrated on point of base of brain. [To find this imagine cross-wires drawn between (a) ear to ear, as if a line had been stretched between {155} them, and from the centre of this line to the top of the skull. (b) from above the bridge of my nose horizontally backwards.] The result was that I felt a throbbing in my head, principally at the spot concentrated on. August 28th. I hereby formulate unto myself a Vow of Silence for a period of at least three days. My time to be occupied by Nadi-Yama and Â’sana, also by meditations of the Buddha and "Aum Mani Padme Hum." The vow to begin from Midnight. This vow I took ceremonially. 29th. 11.40-12.7 Suddhi.255 Very painful and jerky, especially Rechaka. p.m. a.m. Â’sana much pain on moving. 7.40-7.55 Suddhi. Result was better, but goes off whilst meditating a.m. a.m. on "Aum Mani Padme Hum." 10.3-10-50 Began Mental Muttering of "Aum Mani Padme Hum" a.m. a.m. meditating upon Buddha. This developed into Pratyâhâric Dhâranâ; loss of Ego and a vision of mysterious power: loss of all objects mental and physical. I do not know how long this lasted I woke meditating Anahata.256 The voice of Nada was like a far-off solemn song; it became "Aum" only, drop- ping "Mani Padme Hum," and then was more like thunder without harmonics. Did Dhâranâ on Anahata. 11.45-12.15 Suddhi. Â’sana very painful. a.m. p.m. 12-15-1.0 Meditation on "Aum Mani Padme Hum," and sleep. p.m. p.m. 4.15-4.45 Dhâranâ on Anahata with "Aum Mani Padme Hum." The p.m. p.m. latter sounds like the flight of a great bird in windy weather. 5.50-6.20 Suddhi. when meditating on my bronze Buddha I ob- p.m. p.m. tained a great standing self-luminous but rayless Buddha. 30th. 12.12-12.42 Suddhi. a.m. a.m. I passed a bad night, and in the morning my will and control of thought seemed shortened. 8.45-9.15 Suddhi. a.m. a.m. Thoughts hopelessly wandering. 9.45-10.29 Dhâranâ on Buddha with "Aum Mani Padme Hum." A a.m. a.m. much better meditation. I felt a spiral force whirring around {156} the top of my spine. this signifies an induction current of Prâna. 11.30-12.0 Suddhi. a.m. a.m. 6.15-6.45 Suddhi. p.m. p.m. 9.34-10.4 Suddhi. p.m. p.m. 12.30-1.0 Suddhi. a.m. a.m. August 31st. 6.10-6.40 Suddhi. "Sweet as a singing rain of silver dew" is the a.m. a.m. Voice of Nâda. Â’sana is evidently a question of training. At one point there were two or three distinct sharp throbs in the third eye. (Ajna.) 9.15-9.55 Dhâranâ on Ajna.257 Tendency to become strained and a.m. a.m. rigid, with internal Kumbhaka, quite unconsciously. Exactly like a difficult stool, only the direction of force is upwards very fatiguing. 10.24-10.28 Suddhi. Ida stopped up. a.m. a.m. Change of Nâda-note to a dull sound. Extreme excitement of Chitta, sleep impossible. concentrating on Anahata gives sleepiness at once. I felt the pump action of the blood very plainly and also experienced Sukshma- Kumbhaka,258 the subtle involuntary Kumbhaka. 6.10-6.40 Suddhi. One minute thirty-five seconds for a cycle. a.m. p.m. Repeated waking with nightmare. Test Kumbhaka, 45 and 55 seconds. September 2nd. 12.5-12.55 Suddhi with Kumbhaka. Test Kumbhaka 85 seconds, p.m. p.m. 1 minute 25 seconds. Pain (or concentration of Prâna) in the back of head, level with eyes. 3rd. Sunset. Suddhi in the jungle. concentration on Anahata, but did not go to sleep.157 Heard the following sounds: (1) A noise as of blood filtering through. (2) The tramp of armed men. this grew more distant on closing ears. (3) The noise of a distant Siren. This grew stronger on closing ears. (For a short time I distinctly saw the head of a nun in the centre of the Chakkra.) September 5th. 12.15-12.52 Fifty-two Suddhi-Kumbhakas or Prânâyâmas. 5. 10. 20 for 30 p.m. p.m. minutes. 10. 15. 30 for 6 minutes. 5.25-6.26 Prânâyâma. 5. 10. 20 for 31 minutes without any p.m. p.m. breaks. 9.25-9.50 Dhâranâ on the Shiva Pantacle given me by Mâitrânanda p.m. p.m. Swâmi, mentally muttering "Aum Shivaya Vashi."259 Nothing particular occurred, though (were I not fixed in the know- ledge of the vanity of physiological tests) I should judge my weight had diminished.260 The Â’sana gave no pain till I moved. I had my eyes turned up to the third eye. Vivekânanda says: "vibration of body" is the second stage of Prânâyâma. I get this, but put it down to weakness. Dhâranâ on tip of nose for five minutes. Heard a voice saying: "And if you’re passing, won’t you?" Concentration on any organ seems to make it very sensitive—a fleck of down lighting on my nose made me] jump. 6th. 9.20-9.50 Prânâyâmna. Three cycles of 7 minutes ("i.e." Twelve cycles a.m. a.m. of 5. 10. 20 = one cycle of 7 minutes) with intervals of 3 minutes after each cycle. 6.10-6.40 Prânâyâma. Two cycles of 5. 10. 20. The counting got mixed p.m. p.m. and things seem to tend to get buzzy and obscure. Found it difficult to follow clearly the second-hand of a watch. One cycle of 4 minutes of 10. 20. 30.{158} September 6th. 7.0 p.m. Heard astral bell, not mine but Shri Mâtrânanda’s.261 10.45-10.55 Dhâranâ on tip of nose. I obtained a clear understanding p.m. p.m. of the unreality of that nose. This persists. An hour later whilst breathing on my arm as I was asleep, I said to myself; "What is this hot breath from?" I was forced to "think" before I could answer "my nose." Then I pinched myself and remembered at once; but again breathing the same thing happened again. Therefore the "Dhâranâtion" of my nose dividualizes Me and My Nose, affects my nose, disproves my nose, abolishes, annihilates and expunges my nose. 11.25-11.24 Dhâranâ on end of Verendum.262 p.m. p.m. 7th 7.0-7.7 Prânâyâma. 5. 10. 20. a.m. a.m. 7.15-7.35 Prânâyâma. 5. 10. 20, and five minutes of 10. 20. 30. a.m. a.m. Tried external Kumbhaka with poorest of results. 8th 11.0-11.5 Dhâranâ on nose. a.m. a.m. 11.10-11.13 Dhâranâ, covering face with a sheet of thick white paper. a.m. a.m. Very complex phenomena occur. But this production of two noses seems to be the falling back of the eyes to parallel. Everything vanishes. 11.45-11.51 Dhâranâ. ditto. There are two noses all the time. The a.m. a.m. delusion is that you think your right eye is seeing your left nose! 6.10-6.50 Prânâyâma 7 minutes 5. 10. 20; 6 minutes 10. 20. 30. Dhâranâ p.m. p.m. on nose 9 minutes 50 seconds. I actually lost the nose one one occasion, and could not think whet I wished to find or where to find it; my mind having become a perfect blank. (Shri Mâtrânanda says this is very good, and means I approach "neighbourhood-concentration"). Six minutes more at 10. 20. 30. Forty minutes in the Â’sana. 10.20-10.34 Mentally muttering "Namo Shivaya Namaha Aum" I did p.m. p.m. Dhâranâ as before on my nose. I understand one Buddhist constipation now; for: I was (a) conscious of external things {159} seen behind, after my nose had vanished, "i.e." altar, etc.; and (b) conscious that I was "not" conscious of these things. These two consciousnesses being simultaneous. this seems absurd and inexplicable, it is noted in Buddhist Psychology, "yet I" "know it." September 9th 9.50-10.20 Prânâyâma. Ten minutes 5. 10. 20; 4 minutes 10. 25. 30; a.m. a.m. 6 minutes 10. 25. 30. Looking at the light at the top of my head. It was of a misty blue colour, its shape was that of an ordinary cone of flame, long and homogeneous. At intervals it dropped and opened out like a flower, its texture was that of fine hair. Mâitrânanda told me that this result was very good, and that these petals are of the Ajna Chakkra.263 2.10-2.42 Prânâyâma. Seven minutes. 5. 10. 20. Dhâranâ on nose p.m. p.m. thirteen minutes. During this Prânâyâma I heard the Astral Bell twice or thrice. Prânâyâma 8 minutes. 10. 20. 30. Perspiration which has been almost suppressed of late has reappeared to excess. 6.12-6.38 Prânâyâma. Four minutes and 6 minutes 10. 29. 30. p.m. p.m. Late Dhâranâ. Became quite unconscious. Recovered saying: "and not take the first step on Virtue’s giddy road," with the idea that this had some reference to the instructions to begin Suddhi with Ida. Forgot that I had been doing Dhâranâ; but I felt quite pleased and a conviction that my thoughts had been very important. 10th. 7.12-7.34 Prânâyâma. Seven minutes 5. 10. 20; and 10 minutes a.m. a.m. 10. 20. 30. The last was very good and regular. 11.50-12.5 Prânâyâma. Fourteen minutes 5. 10. 20. Ida stopped up. a.m. a.m. 6.15-6.50 Dhâranâ on nose. During this I heard a Siren-cooing p.m. p.m. Nâda; it sounded very audible and continuous; but loudest during Rechaka. 1.23 a.m. I awoke, lying on left side. This being unusual.... I did not know I had been asleep, and the time much surprised {160} me. The one dominant thought in my brain was: "That is it," i.e., Dhyâna. The characteristic perspiration which marks the first stage of success in Prânâyâma possesses the odour, taste, September colour, and almost the consistency of semen. 11th. 6.25-6.45 Prânâyâma. Fifteen minutes. 10. 20. 30. No perspira- a.m. a.m. tion. 10.30-10.45 Prânâyâma. Twelve minutes: 10. 20. 30. a.m. a.m. Prânâyâma. Eight minutes: 10. 20. 30. 6.0-6.30 With great effort. p.m. p.m. Cannot do Prânâyâma 30. 60. 15. more than once through, I tried twice. Dhâranâ on nose ten minutes. 11.15 p.m. Dhâranâ on nose. 12th. 7.35-7.55 Prânâyâma. Six minutes 10. 20. 30. a.m. a.m. Dhâranâ. Six minutes. (P. was called away for a few days on business (or in disgust?) to Colombo.) On the 20th of September p. returned from Colombo and then he made the following entry in his diary: "The Blessed Abhavânanda said: ‘Thus have I heard. One day in Thy courts is better than a thousand’; let me recommence Prânâyâma." Thus he thought, and said. Further he said: "Let me abandon these follies of poesy and Vamacharya ("debauchery," "i.e." normal life) and health and vain things and let me put in some work." 22nd. Began Suddhi and "Namo Shivaya Namaha Aum." 10.15-11.15 Â’sana. Prânâyâma. Nine minutes 10. 20. 30. a.m. a.m. Dhâranâ on nose ten minutes. 5.55-6.25 Prânâyâma. Four minutes: 10. 20. 30. p.m. p.m. Prânâyâma. Ten minutes: 10. 20. 30. Prânâyâma. One of 30. 15. 60. twice. Two such consecu- tively quite out of the question. 9.12-9.25 Prânâyâma. Twelve minutes. 10. 20. 30. p.m. p.m. Prânâyâma. Two consecutive cycles as above declared im- possible! 23rd. 3.5-3.37 Prânâyâma. Sixteen minutes. 10. 20. 30. a.m. a.m. Dhâranâ on nose. Seven minutes. 5.20-5.30 Dhâranâ on nose. Seventeen minutes. p.m. p.m. Heard astral bell repeatedly, apparently from above my head, perhaps slightly to the left of median. "{161}" Two practices of Prânâyâma: 30. 15. 60. Concentration on Ajna Chakkra. The effect was as of light gradually glmmering forth and becoming very bright. September 24th. Tried drinking through nose;264 but could not accomplish it properly. 7.0-7.10 Tried Dhâranâ on Nose as Ida was stopped up. Eyes a.m. a.m. watered, and the breathing was difficult, could not concentrate. 7.15-7.38 Prânâyâma. Twenty-two minutes: 10. 20. 30. could have a.m. a.m. gone on. 5.35-6.5 Prânâyâma very difficult. p.m. p.m. Dhâranâ on nose nine minutes. The nose is perhaps my least sensitive organ. Would I do better to try my tongue? Dhâranâ, four minutes on tip of tongue. Burning feeling as usual. Can feel every tooth as if each had become a con- scious being. Prânâyâma. Broke down badly on second Rechaka of 30. 15. 60. I will do this, and often. 10.15-10.44 Prânâyâma. Ten minutes 10. 20. 30. p.m. p.m. Dhâranâ on nose seven minutes. One Grand Prânâyâma. 30. 15. 60. [N.B. For Prânâyâma be fresh, cool, not excited, not sleepy, not full of food, not ready to urinate or defaecate.] 25th. 6.0-6.42 Prânâyâma. Twenty-six minutes: 10. 20. 30. p.m. p.m. Dhâranâ on nose. Five minutes. Dhâranâ on nose. Six minutes. 8.30-9.0 Dhâranâ on nose. Twelve and a half minutes. a.m. a.m. Grand Prânâyâma. 30. 15. 60. very difficult. 10.45-11.20 Dhâranâ on nose. Thirty-four minutes. Stopped by an a.m. a.m. alarum going off rather a shock did not know where I was for a bit. 4.36-5.8 Prânâyâma. Eight minutes: 10. 20. 30. p.m. p.m. Prânâyâma. Eleven minutes: 10. 20. 30. 7.45-8.5 Prânâyâma. Eleven minutes: 10. 20. 30. p.m. p.m. Mental muttering "Aum Shivayavashi." 8.40-9.23 Thirty-seven minutes concentrated on Pentacle, right globe p.m. p.m. of ear throbs; left ear cold current; left hand tingles. I do {162} get a sort of Skushma-Kumbhaka which I cannot reproduce at will. Rigidity of body and the fading of all vision are its stig- mata. Curiously this happened on coming out of Mental Muttering back to audible, or rather at one loud slow Mantra, September i. e. when no Kumbhaka was possible. 26th. 8.50-9.3 Mental Muttering for ten minutes "Aum Shivayavashi." p.m. p.m. Results similar to last night’s, somewhat more easily obtained. 5.25-5.57 Mental Muttering of "Aum Shivayavashi." Results better p.m. p.m. than usual. Prânâyâma. Seven minutes after 10 seconds of Kumbhaka. This seventh time I forgot all about everything and breathed out of both nostrils. Quite quietly pure mental abstraction. 8.10-9.30 Mental Muttering of "Aum Shivayavashi," for seventy- five p.m. p.m. minutes. Several times lost concentration or consciousness or something, i.e., either vision or voice or both were interrupted. (N.B. At one particular "rate" the third eye throbs violently in time with mantra.) 27th. Constant dreams of Dhâranâ. 10.20-10.33 Prânâyâma. Seven minutes 10. 30. 30. Twice forgot my- a.m. a.m. self in Kumbhaka by exceeding the thirty seconds. I was trying to kill thoughts entering Ajna. On the first occasion I was still saying "Shiva" for this purpose; on the second I was meditating on Devi [a name of Bhâvani]. 4.45-4.50 One Grand Prânâyâma. 30. 15. 60. p.m. p.m. New Prânâyâma of 25. 15. 50; twice. 5.12-5.40 Prânâyâma. Seven minutes 10. 20. 30. p.m. p.m. Mental Muttering. "Aum Shivayavashi" Fifteen minutes, at rate when Ajna throbs. (N.B. Of late my many years’ habit of sleeping only on the right side has vanished. I now sleep always on my left side.) 28th. 7 a.m. Prânâyâma. 10. 20. 30. 4.35-5.16 Prânâyâma. four minutes: 10. 20. 30. p.m. p.m. Mantra: "Aum Sjhivayavashi" Twenty minutes. I feel on the brink of something every time Aid me, Lord Self! His Holiness the Guru Swami says: "It is not well, O child, that thou contemplatest the external objects about thee. Let rather thy Chakkras be on-meditated. , Aum!" 10.50 p.m. Dhâranâ on Ajna eighteen minutes muttering "Aum Tat Sat Aum!" {163} September Dhâranâ on Ajna and "Aum Tat Sat Aum" thirgy-one 29th. 12.0 m.n. minutes. At one time Ajna seemed enormously, perhaps infinitely, elongated. 11.15-11.41 Mantra "Aum Tat Sat Saum" with usual throbbing. a.m. a.m. Took 210 drops of Laudanum as an experiment under Mâitrânanda’s guidance. (Absolutely no mental result, and hardly any physical result. I must be most resistant to this drug, which I had never previously taken). 30th Recovering from the Laudanum. 10.5 a.m. Prânâyâma and Dhâranâ hopeless.265 October. Another month of this great work commences, and though the toil has not been wasted the reward indeed seems still far off.
On the first of the month P. writes:
"Blessed be thou, O Bhânâni, O Isis my Sister, my Bride, my Mother! Blessed be Thou, O Shiva, O Amoun, Concealed of the Concealed. By Thy most secret and Holy Name of Apophis be Thou blessed, Lucifer, Star of the Dawn, Satan-Jeheshua, Light of the World!
"Blessed by Thou, Buddha, Osiris, by whatever Name I call Thee thou art nameless to Eternity. Blessed be Thou, O Day, that Thou hast risen in the Night of Time; First Dawn in the Chaos of poor P.’s poor mind! Accursed be Thou, Jehovah, Brahma, unto the Æons of Æons: thou who didst create Darkness and not Light! Mâra, vile Mask of Matter!
"Arise, O Shiva, and destroy! That in destruction these at last be blest."
1st. 5.30 p.m. Prânâyâma. Mantra seventeen minutes. Noise of glass being rubbed persistent. 9.30 p.m. From now I decide to work more seriously, and follow out the following programme: Mantra "Aum Tat Sat Aum." Dhâranâ on Ajna Chakkra. Read Bhagavid-Gîta. Vegetarian diet. {164} Normal amount of sleep. Speech only when necessary. Prânâyâma. Â’sana with eyes turned up. October Walking as exercise. 2nd. 8.30 a.m. Mantra "Aum Tat Sat Aum." 9.10-10.50 Â’sana with mantra and eyes turned to Ajna Chakkra. a.m. a.m. Chittam distinctly slowing towards end. 10.50-12.5 Continued lying down. [Did I sleep?] a.m. p.m. 12.35-1.45 For a walk muttering Mantra. p.m. p.m. 2.20-2.45 Â’sana. Always forgetting to repeat the Mantra, Mâitra- p.m. p.m. anandra Swami says this is right. Ajna is now more steely in appearance and is open at a constant angle of about 30° to 40°. 3.10-3.45 Prânâyâma. Thirty minutes 10. 20. 30. p.m. p.m. 4.10 p.m. Resumed Â’sana. The "invading" thoughts are more and more fragmentary and ridiculous. I cannot mentally pro- nounce the Mantra with correctness, e.g., "Op tap sapa" or "shastra" for "sat," etc. Now arose, with Music of the Vînâ the Golden Dawn.266 At 5.15 I arose. 5.42 p.m. Resumed my Â’sana and did three Prânâyâma of 25. 15. 50. Also of 20. 10. 40. Mâitrânanda Swami explained above as follows: Unto the sunset, moonrise, Agni;267 then Vishvarupa Darshana,268 and one’s own Personal God;269 then Atma-Darshana270 and Shiva- Darshana.271 {165} October Prânâyâma. Thirty-five minutes. 10. 20. 30. Â’sana 3rd 12.20 a.m. terrible. 10-11.30 Walk with Mantra. a.m. a.m. 11.30-12.41 Â’sana. Always with Mantra and Ajna. a.m. a.m. Prânâyâma. Eighteen minutes. 10. 20. 30. 1.50-2.30 Dhâranâ. Got very tired and lay down till 3.35 (not sleep- p.m. p.m. ing) then resumed Â’sana till 5.5 p.m. Now again at last the Golden Dawn. This, as my intuition had already taught me, had the effect of slowing the Dhyâna and also keeping me fixed therein. Yet, I fear, of partially destroying its perfection—He knows! Thus the disk came clear: but I began to be worried by body and clouded by doubt, and an effort to return only brought up a memory-picture. The flaming clouds are "thought"; the shadowy or hinted Form is Adonai! 5.35 p.m. Three Prânâyâmas of 50. 25. 15. 5.40 p.m. Prânâyâma. Twenty minutes 10. 20. 30. 9.30 p.m. Holiday; which was fatal folly!
The full account of this wonderful realization of Dhyâna is set forth by PO. in this note book entitled "The Writings of Truth," in which we find the following:
"After some eight hours’ discipline by Prânâyâma arose ‘The Golden Dawn.’
"While meditating, suddenly I became conscious of a shoreless space of darkness and a glow of crimson athwart it. Deepening and brightening, scarred by dull bars of slate-blue cloud arose the Dawn of Dawns. In splendour not of earth and its mean sun, blood-red, rayless, adamant, it rose, it rose! Carried out of myself, I asked not ‘Who is the Witness?’ absorbed utterly in contemplation of so stupendous and so marvellous a fact. For here was no doubt, no change, no wavering; infinitely more real than aught ’physical’ is the Golden Dawn of this Eternal Sun! But ere the Orb of Glory rose clear of its banks of blackness alas my soul! that Light Ineffable was withdrawn beneath the falling veil of darkness, and in purples and greys glorious beyond imagining, sad beyond conceiving, faded the superb Herald of the Day. But mine eyes have seen it! And this, then, is Dhyâna! Walk with it, yet all but unremarked, came a melody as of the sweet-souled Vînâ
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .Again, by the Grace Ineffable of Bhâvani to the meanest of Her devotees, arose the Splendour of the Inner Sun. As bidden by my Guru, I saluted the {166} Dawn with Pranava. This, as I foresaw, retained the Dhyânic Consciousness. The Disk grew golden: rose clear of all its clouds, flinging great fleecy cumuli or rose and gold, fiery with light, into the aethyr of space. Hollow it seemed and rayless as the Sun in Sagittarius, yet incomparably brighter: but rising clear of cloud, it began to revolve, to coruscate, to throw off streamers of jetted fire! [This from a hill-top I beheld, dark as of a dying world. Covered with black decayed wet peaty wood, a few pines stood stricken, unutterably alone.272] But behind the glory of its coruscations seemed to shape, an idea less solid than a shadow! an Idea of some Human-seeming Form! Now grew doubt and thought in P.’s miserable mind; and the One Wave grew many waves and all was lost! Alas! Alas! for P.! And Glory Eternal unto Her, She the twin-Breasted that hath encroached even upon the other half of the Destroyer! "OM Namo Bhâvaniya OM."
Filled with the glory of the great light that had arisen in him, for many days P. communed in silence with the Vision that days upon days of labour had revealed to him, and then leaving his place of retirement near Kandy he journeyed to Anhuradhapura, and thence to many sacred shrines and temples throughout the island of Ceylon, gathering as he travelled spiritual knowledge, and learning the ancient customs of the people and the manner of their lives.
Towards the end of November his work in Ceylon being accomplished he arrived at Madura, and from there he journeyed to Calcutta. At this city he remained for about a month, during almost the whole of which time he suffered from sickness and fever. he however records one interesting incident, which took place during an early morning walk whilst he was in deep meditation:
"Whilst in this meditation, a kind of inverted Manichaeism seemed to develop and take possession of it, Nature appearing as a great evil and fatal force, unwittingly developing within {167} itself a suicidal Will called Buddha or Christ:" This perhaps is most easily explained by imagining "Mâyâ" to be a circle of particles moving from right to left which after a time through its own intrinsic motion sets up within itself a counter motion, a kind of back-water current which moves in the opposite direction, from left to right, and little by little destroys the Mâyâ circle, marked "B"; and then becoming its Mâyâ, in its turn sets up a counter circle which in time will likewise be destroyed. The outer circle is "B" is the world Mâyâ or the Samsâra Chakkra, the inner "A" the Bodhi Stava, the Buddha, the Christ.
This is fulfilled again and again the great prophecy:
Whenever the dhamma decays, and a-dhamma prevails, then I manifest myself. For the protection of the good, for the destruction of the evil, for the firm establishment of the National Righteousness I am born again and again!273
"It is a fallacy," wrote P., "that the Absolute must be the All-Good. There is not an Intelligence directing law; but only a line of least resistance along which all things move. Its own selfishness has not even the wit to prevent Buddha, and so its own selfishness proves its destruction.
"We cannot call Nature "evil": Fatal is the exact word; for Necessity implies stupidity, and this stupidity is the chief attribute of Nature."
{Illustration on page 168 described: "DIAGRAM 88. The Bodhi Satva." This is a circular diagram. There is one large black ring enclosing the outside. Inside is a smaller white ring with a small seated buddha in the midst of a lotus. A clockwise spiral line begins on the outer rim of the inner circle, at about 4 o’clock. This spiral makes four complete revolutions before it contacts the outer ring at about 8 o’clock. Just below the beginning curve of the inner spiral passage is an arrow, fledged and curved round clockwise, occupying about 180°. There is a much larger fledged arrow about the outer ring at top, curved counterclockwise through about 180°}
So P. argued, for the little Bodhi Satva had started whirling {168} within him, hungry and thirsty, slowly devouring its Mother Mâyâ.
On the 21st of January, 1902, P. left Calcutta for Burma, where for a short time he again joined Mâitrânanda. During the month of February he journeyed through the districts about Rangoon visiting many sacred cities and holy men,. practising Dahâranâ on Maitri Bhâvana (compassion) and taking his refuge in Triratna. (The triple jewel of Buddhism Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha.) On the 14th of February he visited Lamma Sayadaw Kyoung in Bhikkhu Ananda Metteyya, and on the 23rd shipped by S. S. Kapurthala from Rangoon to Calcutta, arriving there on the 26th.
For the first three months of 1902 no record was kept by P. of his meditations and mystical exercises, except one which is as curious as it is interesting, and which consists of a minutely detailed table showing the Classification of the Dreams he dreamt from the 8th February to the 19th March.
P., it may be mentioned, was much subjected to dreaming, but perhaps rarely were they so persistent and vivid as he now experienced. For he found that by trying to remember dreams he could remember more. Probably most men dream subconsciously; just as they breathe without knowing it unless the attention be directed to the act. {169}
We append the following table. As it will be seen P. divides his dream- states into seven main divisions, each being again split up into further subdivisions to enable the various correspondences to be seen at a glance.
A. Depth of Impression. 1. Vivid. 2. Ordinary. 3. Slight. 4. Doubtful. B. Degree of Memory. 1. Detailed. 2. Outlined. 3. Partially outlined. 4. Central idea only. 5. Incident only. 6. Nothing save fact of dream. C. Cause. 1. Traceable to thoughts of previous day. 2. Traceable to local circumstances (e.g. Dream of river from rain falling on face). 3. Not so traceable. D. Character. 1. Surprising. 2. Ordinary. E. Character. 1. Rational. 2. Irrational. F. Character General. 1. Lascivious, (a) Finished, (b Baffled. 2. Of travel. 3. Of literature. 4. Of art. 5. Of magic. 6. Of beauty. 7. Of religion. 8. Of social affairs. 9. Of disgust. 10. Of old friends (or foes). 11. Various. 12. Humorous. 13. Of very definite men not known to P. 14. Of combat. 15. Of money. G. Character Special. 1. Of losing a tooth. 2. Of beard being shaved off. 3. Of climbing a mountain. 4. Of being taken in adultery. 5. Of Poem or Magical book I have written (in dream). 6. Of being embarrassed. 7. of flying, especially of escaping. {170}
______________Â_______Â___Â____________Â___Â___Â_________________Â___ ³ A ³ B ³ C ³ D ³ E ³ F ³ G ______________Å_______Å___Å____________Å___Å___Å_________________Å___ February 8th ³ 1 ³ 2 ³ ³ 1 ³---³ ³--- " 9th ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ Probably 2 ³---³---³ ³ 1 " 12th ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 1 ³---³---³ 1(b) ³--- " 13th ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 1 ³---³ 6.12 ³--- " 14th ³ ³ ³ ³ ³ ³ ³ " 15th ³ 1 ³ 2 ³ 1 ³ 2 ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 1 " " ³ 1 ³ 2 ³ 1 ³ 2 ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 1 " 16th ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 2 ³ 1 ³ 4.2.8 ³ 1 " 17th ³ 3 ³ 6 ³ ³---³---³ ³--- " 18th ³ 2 ³ 2 ³ Probably 1 ³ 2 ³ 1 ³ 11 ³--- " 20th ³ 1 ³ ? ³ ? ³ 1 ³ ? ³ ? ³--- " 21th ³ 4 ³---³ ³---³---³ ³--- " 22th ³ 4 ³---³ ³---³---³ ³--- " 23th ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 2 ³ 1 ³ 2 ³ 1(a).2.10.9.11 ³--- " 24th ³ 1 ³ 4 ³ 1 ³ 2 ³---³ 1? ³--- " 25th ³ 2(?1) ³ 3 ³ 1 ³ 2 ³ 1 ³ 2 ³--- " 28th ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 2 ³ 3 ³ 1.10.11 ³4(?) " " ³ 2 ³ 2 ³ 1 ³ 2 ³ 1 ³ 3.7 ³--- March 1st ³ 3 ³ 6 ³ ³---³---³ ³--- " 2nd ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 1(?) ³ 2 ³ 1 ³ 8 ³ 6 " " ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 1(?) ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 5 ³--- " 3rd ³ 2 ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 2 ³ 1 ³ 2.8 ³--- " 4th ³ 1 ³4.5³ 1 ³ 1 ³---³ 8.10.13 ³--- " 5th ³(?)all ³ ³ ³ ³ ³ ³ " " ³ 2 ³ 2 ³ 1 ³ 2 ³ 1 ³ 2 ³--- " 7th ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 1.2 ³ 2 ³ 2 ³ 1(b).2.9 ³ 6 " 8th ³ 1 ³ 6 ³ ³---³---³ ³--- " 9th ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 1 ³1(b).2.5.8.10.13 ³4.6 " 10th ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 3 ³ 2 ³ 1 ³ 8.10.13.14.15 ³--- " 11th ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 2 ³ 3.5.7.12 ³5.7 " " ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 2 ³ 1(b) ³ 4 " 12th ³ 1 ³ 2 ³ 1 ³ 2 ³ 1 ³ 2 ³ 6 " 13th ³ 1 ³ 2 ³ 3 ³ 1 ³ 2 ³ 1(b) ³ 4 " 14th ³ 4 ³---³ ³---³---³ ³--- " 15th ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 3 ³ 2 ³ 1 ³ 1.2.8.10.13 ³--- " " ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 2 ³ 2 ³ 2 ³ 2 ³--- " 16th ³ 1 ³ 2 ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 2 ³ 3.10 ³--- " 17th ³ 2 ³ 2 ³ 3 ³ 2 ³ 1 ³ 7.8 ³--- " 18th ³ 1 ³ 5 ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 1 ³ 5.6.11 ³--- " 19th ³ 2 ³ 5 ³ ³---³ 1 ³ 11 ³--- ______________Á_______Á___Á____________Á___Á___Á_________________Á____ {171}
On the 7th of March P. left Calcutta for Benares, arriving there on the following day, and lodging at the H"tel de Paris he continued his concentration practices., In his diary on this date he writes: "The fear of the future seems practically destroyed, and during the last six months I have worked well. This removes all possible selfishness of incentive (after 4 ¾ years) Maitri-Bhâvana is left, and that alone. Aum!
At Benares he visited the temples, and had a long conversation with Sri Swami Swayam Prakashânanda Maithila; and then after three days’ sojourn there journeyed to Agra.
"I saw the Taj. A dream of beauty," he writes, "with appallingly evil things dwelling therein. I actually had to use H.P.K. formula! the building soon palls; the aura is apparent, and disgust succeeds. But the central hall is of strained aura, like a magic circle after banishing."
At Agra P. met Astrologer and Geomancer Munshi Elihu Bux; who told him that by looking hard at a point on the wall constantly and without winking for many days he would be able to obtain an hypnotic power even to Deadly and Hostile Current of Will.
On the 16th P. left Agra and went to Delhi, and there on the 23rd he was joined by D. A., and these two with their companions on the following day journeyed to Rawal Pindi and from this city they set out together to travel for five months in the northern and little frequented districts of Baltistan, and to seek that great solemnity and solitude which is only to be found amongst the greatest mountains of earth.
With the Dhyâna Visions and Trance we arrive at another turning point in Frater P.’s magical ascent. For several years he had worked by the aid of Western methods, and with them he had laid a mighty and unshakable foundation upon which {172} he now had succeeded in building the great temple of Self- Control. Working upon Eastern lines he had laid stone upon stone, and yet when the work was completed, magnificent though it was, there was no God yet found to indwell it. It was indeed but an empty house.
Though we have now arrived at this turning point, it will be necessary before we review the contents of this chapter to narrate the events from the present date—March 1902, down to the 11th of August 1903; when, by the chance (destined) meeting with Ouarda the Seer, he was eventually enabled to set in motion the great power he had gained, and by wrestling with the deity, as Jacob wrestled with the Angel by the ford of Jabbok, see God face to face and LIVE.
For a space of nearly six months P. and D. A. journeyed amongst the vast mountains beyond Cashmir, and through during this period no record of his meditations has been preserved, time was not idled away and exercises in meditation of a more exalted kind, on the vastness of Nature and the ungraspable might of God, were his daily joy and consolation.
In September he returned to Srinnagar, and thence journeyed to Bombay where he remained for but a few days before his return journey to Europe.
Arriving in Egypt he remained in that ancient land for some three weeks, somehow feeling that it was here that he should find what he had so long now been seeking for in vain. But realizing the hopelessness of waiting in any definite country or city, without some clue to guide him to his goal, he left Egypt at the beginning of November and continued his journey back to England only to break it again at Paris.
In this city he remained until April the following year {173} (1903). In the month of January he met his old College friend H. L.
From the very first moment of this meeting H. L. showed considerable perturbation of mind, and on being asked by Frater P. what was exercising him, H. L. replied "Come and free Miss Q. from the wiles of Mrs. M. Being asked who Mrs. M. was, H. L. answered that she was a vampire and a sorceress who was modelling a sphinx with the intention of one day endowing it with life so that it might carry out her evil wishes; and that her victim was Miss Q. P. wishing to ease his friend’s mind asked H. L. to take him to Miss Q.’s address at which Mrs. M. was then living. This H. L. did.
The following story is certainly one of the least remarkable of the many strange events which happened to Frater P. during his five months’ residence in Paris, but we give it in place of others because it re-introduces several characters who have already figured in this history.
Miss Q. after an interview asked P. to tea to meet Mrs. M. After introductions she left the room to make tea the White Magic and the Black were left face to face.
On the mantelpiece stood a bronze of the head of Balzac, and P., taking it down, seated himself in a chair by the fire and looked at it.
Presently a strange dreamy feeling seemed to come over him, and something velvet soft and soothing and withal lecherous moved across his hand. Suddenly looking up he saw the Mrs. M. had noiselessly quitted her seat and was bending over him; her hair was scattered in a mass of curls over her shoulders, and the tips of her fingers were touching the back of his hand {174}
No longer was she the middle aged woman, worn with strange lusts; but a young woman of bewitching beauty.
At once recognizing the power of her sorcery, and knowing that if he even so much as contemplated her Gorgon head all the power of his magic would be petrified, and that he would become but a puppet in her hands, but a top to be played with and when broken cast aside, he quietly rose as if nothing unusual had occurred; and replacing the bust on the mantelpiece turned towards her and commenced with her a magical conversation; that is to say a conversation which outwardly had but the appearance of the politest small talk but which inwardly lacerated her evil heart, and burnt into her black bowels as if each word had been a drop of some corrosive acid.
She writhed back from him; and then again approached him even more beautiful than she had been before. She was battling for her life now, and no longer for the blood of another victim. If she lost, hell yawned before her, the hell that every once beautiful woman who is approaching middle age, sees before her the hell of lost beauty, of decrepitude, of wrinkles and fat. The odour of man seemed to fill her whole subtle form with a feline agility, with a beauty irresistible. One step nearer and then she sprang at Frater P. and with an obscene word sought to press her scarlet lips to his.
As she did so Frater P. caught her and holding her at arm’s length smote the sorceress with her own current of evil, just as a would-be murderer is sometimes killed with the very weapon with which he has attacked his victim.
A blue-greenish light seemed to play round the head of the vampire, and then the flaxen hair turned the colour of muddy {175} snow, and the fir skin wrinkled, and those eyes, that had turned so many happy lives to stone, dulled, and became as pewter dappled with the dregs of wine. The girl of twenty had gone, before him stood a hag of sixty, bent, decrepit, debauched. With dribbling curses she hobbled from the room.
As Frater P. left the house, for some time he turned over in his mind these strange happenings, and was not long in coming to the opinion that Mrs. M. was not working alone, and that behind her probably were forces far greater than she. She was but the puppet of others, the slave that would catch the kids and the lambs that were to be served upon her master’s table. Could P. prove this? could he discover who the masters were? The task was a difficult one; it either meant months of work, which P. could not afford to give, or the mere chance of a lucky stroke, which P. set aside as unworthy the attempt.
That evening whilst relating the story to his friend H. L. he asked him if he knew of any reliable clairvoyant. H. L. replied that he did, and that there was such a person at that very time in Paris known as The Sibyl, his own "belle amie." That night they called on her; and from her P. discovered, for he led her in the spirit, the following remarkable facts.
The vision at first was of little importance, then by degrees the seer was let to a house which P. at once recognized as that in which D.D.C.F. lived. He entered one of the rooms, which he also at once recognized but curious to say, instead of finding D.D.C.F. and V.N.R. there he found Theo and Mrs. Horos. Mr. Horos (M.S.R.) incarnated in the body of V.N.R. and Mrs. Horos (S.V.A.) in that of D.D.C.F. Their {176} bodies were in prison; but their spirits were in the house of the fallen chief of the Golden Dawn.
At first Frater P. was seized with horror at the sight, he knew not whether to direct a hostile current of will against D.D.C.F. and V.N.R., supposing them to be guilty of cherishing within their bodies the spirits of two disincarnated vampires, or perhaps Abramelin demons under the assumed forms of S.V.A. and M.S.R., or to warn D.D.C.F.; supposing him to be innocent, as he perhaps was, of so black and evil an offence. But as he hesitated a voice entered the body of the Sibyl and bade him leave matters alone, which he did. Not yet was the cup full.
In April he journeyed to London, and the month of May 1903 once again found him amongst the fastnesses of the north in the house he had bought in which to carry out the Sacred Operation of Abramelin. At this point of our history, in a prefatory note to one of Frater P.’s note-books, we hind him recapitulating, in the following words, the events of the last four years:
In the year 1899 I came to C ... House, and put everything in order with the object of carrying out the Operation of Abramelin the Mage.
I had studied Ceremonial Magic, and had obtained very remarkable success.
My Gods were those of Egypt, interpreted on lines closely akin to those of Greece.
In Philosophy I was a Realist of the Qabalistic School.
In 1900 I left England for Mexico, and later the Far East, Ceylon, India, Burma, Baltistan, Egypt and France. It is idle here to detail the corresponding progress of my thought; and passing through a stage of Hinduism, I had discarded all Deities as unimportant, and in Philosophy was an uncompromising Nominalist, arrived at what I may describe as an orthodox Buddhist; but however with the following reservations:
(1) I cannot deny that certain phenomena "do" accompany the use of certain rituals; I only deny the usefulness of such methods to the White Adept. {177}
(2) that I consider Hindu methods of meditation as possibly useful to the beginner, and should not therefore recommend them to be discarded at once.
With regard to my advancement, the redemption of the Cosmos, etc., etc., I leave for ever the "Blossom and Fruit" Theory and appear in the character of an Inquirer on strictly scientific lines.274
This is unhappily calculated to damp enthusiasm; but as I so carefully of old, for the magical path, excluded from my life all other interests, that life has now no particular meaning, and the Path of Research, on the only lines I can now approve of, remains the one Path possible for me to tread.
On the 11th of June P. records that he moved his bed into the temple that he had constructed at C ... House, for convenience of more absolute retirement. In this temple he was afflicted by dreams and visions of the most appalling Abramelin devils, which had evidently clung to the spot ever since the operations of February 1900.
On the night of the 16th of June he began to practise Mahasatipatthana,275 and found it easy to get into the way of it as a mantra which does not interfere much with sense-impressions, {178} but remains as an undercurrent. After several days of this desultory Mahasatipatthana, he turned his mind once again to the Great Work and decided upon a fortnight’s strict magical retirement. Though his retirement culminated in no definite state of illumination, it is most interesting from a scientific point of view, as it has been carefully kept and the "breaks" that occurred in the meditations have been most minutely classified.
June. 22nd. 10.20 p.m. Mahasatipatthana for half an hour. (1) Breathing gets deeper, rather sleepier. (I am tired.) (2) Notable throbbing in Ajna and front of brain generally, especially with inspiring. (3) Tendency to forget what I am doing. (I am tired.) (4) Very bad concentration, but better than expected. 23rd. 10.11 a.m. Walk with Mahasatipatthana. I obtained a very clear intuition that "I breathe" was a lie. With effort regained delusion. 11.30 a.m. Entered Temple. 11.33 a.m. Prânâyâma. 10. 20. 30. Resulting in a good deal of pain. 11.40 a.m. Mahasatipatthana. 11.57 a.m. Prânâyâma. 10. 20. 30. I do seem bad! My left nostril is not all it should be. 11.57 a.m. Left Temple. 12.30 p.m. Began Mahasatipatthana desultorily. 1.15 p.m. In Mahasatipatthana. Doing it very badly. Seem sleepy. 1.35 p.m. Went out for a walk feeling ill. Ill all the week. 28th During the night began again meditation upon Ajna, and Mantra "Aum Tat Sat Aum." 30th. Decide to do tests on old principle to see how I really stand. {179} BEGIN. END. OBJECT. TIME. NO. OF BREAKS. 10.21 a.m. 10.23 a.m. Red Cross 2 m. 10 s. Several breaks of the kind, "Oh, how well I’m doing it." Seem quite to have forgotten what very long times I used to do. White triangle 10 m. 20 breaks. [This about harmonic of good; 20 m. 10 breaks is a good per- formance.] Apas-Akâsa [Very difficult: slightest noise is utterly disturbing.] 10.55 a.m. 11.1 a.m. Red Cross 6 m. 7 breaks. [But it is to be observed that a break may be of varying length. I doubt if this was as good as White Triangle supra.] 11.44 a.m. 11.56 a.m. White triangle 12 m. 10 breaks. [Above observation perhaps unimportant, as limit of variability is more or less constant (presumably) between 1901 and now. It will be useless to attempt to devise any means of measuring the length of a break. The only possible suggestion is to count the links in thought back to to object. But I do not think it is worth the trouble.] Note in White Triangle above: I get considerably toward identification of self and object. This is probably a good result of my philosophy-work. It will perhaps be more scientific if in these tests (and perhaps even in work) to stick to one or two objects and always go on to a special number of breaks say 10,. Then success will vary as time.276 July 3.14 p.m. 3.20 p.m. White triangle 6 m. 30 s. 6 breaks. Dis- 2nd. turbed by car- penter. 10.40 p.m. 11.9 p.m. White triangle 29 m. 23 breaks. [A "break" shall be defined as: "a consciousness of the cessation of the object consciousness." A simple outside thought arising shall not constitute a "break," since it may exist simultaneously with the object-consciousness. {180} It shall be meritorious to perform a rosary upon the Rudrakasha-beads at lest once (at one time) daily; for why? Because 108 is is a convenient number of breaks, and the large number will aid determinations of rate progress. If it be true, as I suppose, that fatigue to a great extent determines frequency, it will then be perhaps possible to "predict" a Geometrical Pro- gression (or Mixed Progression.)] BEGIN. END. OBJECT. TIME. NO. OF BREAKS. July 10.58 a.m. 11.1 a.m. White triangle 3 m. 5 breaks. 3rd. [I am in very bad state nearly "all" breaks! do a little Prânâyâma to steady me.] 11.10 a.m. 11.15 ½ a.m. White triangle 5 m. 30 s. 4 breaks. [Sneezed: totally forgot what I was doing. When I reflected, time as above.] 4th. 9.45 a.m. 9.58 ½ a.m. White triangle 13 m. 30 s. 20 breaks. 10.25 a.m. 10.57 ½ a.m. Ajna 32 m. 30 s. 20 breaks. [With Mantra. Throbbing at once. "Invaders" nearly all irrational. Strong sub-current of swift thought noted. Quite the old times! Excel- lent: I require less food and less literary work. I wonder if it would be worth while to try irritation of skin over Ajna with tincture of Iodine.] 5th. 11.30 a.m. 11.55 a.m. Ajna 25 m. 20 breaks. 9.36 p.m. 9.51 1 p.m. Ajna 15 m. 30 s. 20 breaks. 6th.} Ill.277 8th.} 9th. 10.57 a.m. 11.4 a.m. Prânâyâma 7 m. Nose not clear. 11.15½ a.m. 11.18 a.m. Ajna 2 m. 6 breaks. [Hyperaesthesia of sense. Various sounds disturbed me much.] 10th. Again ill. 11th. 3.38 p.m. 3.46 p.m. Prânâyâma 8 m. Going easier. 3.48 p.m. 3.51 p.m. White triangle 3 m. 5 breaks. 5.51 p.m. 6.10 ½ p.m. Ajna 19 m. 30 s. 20 breaks. {181} BEGIN. END. OBJECT. TIME. NO. OF BREAKS. July [Difficult to set the sound Hyperaesthesia. Began to forget Mantra.]278 11th. 10.12 ½ p.m. 10.19 p.m. Prânâyâma 6 m. 30 s. Very hard. [The smallest quantity of food injures one’s power immensely.] 10.21 p.m. 10.44 p.m. Ajna 23 m. 20 breaks. [Used cotton wool in ears.] Thoughts of Ajna go obliquely up (from opening of pharynx about) and direct horizontally forward. This gives an idea to "chase" consciousness, i.e., find by the obvious series of experiments the spot in which the thoughts dwell. Probably however this moves about. If so, it is a clear piece of evidence for the idealistic position. If not, "thinking of it" equals "it thinking of itself," and its falsity will become rapidly evident. July 12th. 12.8 p.m. 12.19 p.m. Prânâyâma 11 m. [The best so far: the incense troubled me somewhat.] 12.26 p.m. 12.57 p.m. 31 m. 30 breaks. [Mantra evolved into "tartsano."279 I was not in good form and suspect many breaks of long duration.] I keep Mantra going all day. 4.58 p.m. 5.9 p.m. Prânâyâma 11 m. Perspiration. 5.14 p.m. 5.25 p.m. Prânâyâma 11 m. Wound up with a Grand Prânâ- yâma.280 5.28 p.m. 6.6 p.m. 38 m. 30 breaks. [Very tired towards end and difficult to get settled. to me it seems evident that the first ten breaks or so are rapid.] 6.10 p.m. 6.26 p.m. Prânâyâma 16 m. 8.15 p.m. 8.47 p.m. Ajna with Mantra 32 m. 22 breaks. [Light coming a little, one very long break, and some sound.] 10.5 p.m. 10.17 ½ p.m. Ajna 12 m. 30 s. 11 breaks. 13th. Casual Mutterings of Mantra. 10.44 a.m. Prânâyâma Quite bopeless. 10.48 a.m. 11.20 a.m. 32 m. 30 breaks. [Went to Edinburgh to meet H. L.]281 {182}
The following analysis of breaks which Frater P. deduced from his practices during this retirement is both of great interest and importance. It is the only analytical table of this character we know of, and must prove of very great use to investigator and aspirant alike.
1. Primary centres. The senses. 2. Secondary. These seem to assume a morbid activity as soon as the primaries are stilled. Their character is that of the shorter kind of memory. Events of the day, etc. 3. Tertiary. Partake of the character of "reverie." Very tempting and insidious. 4. Quaternary. Are closely connected with the control centre itself. Their nature is "How well I’m doing it," or "wouldn’t it be a good idea to ...?" These are prob- ably emanations from the control, not messages to it. We might call them: "Aberrations of control." Of a similar depth are the reflections which discover a break, but these are healthy warnings, and assist. 5. Quinary. Never rise into consciousness at all, being held down by the most perfect control. Hence the blank of thought, the forgetfulness of all things, including the object. Not partaking of any character at all, are the "meteor" thoughts which seem to be quite independent of anything the brain could think, or had ever thought. Probably this kind of thought is the root of irrational hallucinations, e.g., "And if you’re passing, won’t you?"282 {183} 6. Perhaps as a result of the intense control, a nervous storm breaks. This we call Dhyâna. Its character is probably not determined by the antecedents in consciousness. Its essential characteristic being the unity of Subject and Object, a new world is revealed. Samâdhi is but an expansion of this, so far as I can see. The slaying of any of these thoughts often leaves their echoes gradually dying away.
Now that we have come to the end of this long chapter, let us turn back on the upward slope and survey the road which winds beneath us, and lose not heart when but little of it can be seen, for the mountain’s side is steep, and the distance from our last halting-place seems so short, not on account of our idleness, but because of the many twists and turnings that the road has taken since we left our last camp below, when the sun was rising and all was golden with the joy of great expectations. For, in truth, we have progressed many a weary league, and from this high spot are apt to misjudge our journey, and belittle our labours, as we gaze down the precipitous slope which sweeps away at out feet.
In the last two years and a half P. had journeyed far, further than he at this time was aware of; and yet the goal of his journey seemed still so distant that only with difficulty could he bring himself to believe that he had progressed at all. Indeed, ti must have been discouraging to him to think that on the 6th of May 1901 he, in a meditation of thirty-two minutes had only experienced ten breaks, whilst during a meditation of similar length, on the 13th of July 1903, the number of breaks had been three times as many. But like most statistics, such a comparison is misleading: for the beginner, almost invariably, so clumsy is his will, catches {184} quickly enough the gross breaks, but lets the minor ones dart away from his grasp, like the small fry which with ease swim in and out of the fisherman’s net. Further, though in twelve meditations the number of breaks may be identical, yet the class of the breaks, much more so than the actual number, will tell the meditator, more certainly than anything else, whether he has progressed or has retrograded.
Thus at first, should the meditator practise with his eyes open, the number of breaks will in their swift succession form almost one unbroken interruption. Again, should the eyes be closed, then the ears detecting the slightest sound, the flow of the will will be broken, just as the faintest zephyr, on a still evening, will throw out of the perpendicular an ascending column of smoke. But presently, as the will gains power, the sense of hearing, little by little, as it comes under control, is held back from hearing the lesser sounds, then the greater, and at length all sounds. The vibrations of the will having repelled the sound vibrations of the air, and brought the sense of hearing into Equilibrium. Now the upward mounting filament of smoke has become the ascending columns of a great volcano, there is a titanic blast behind it,—a will to ascend. And as the smoke and flame is belched forth, so terrific is its strength, that even a hurricane cannot shake it or drive it from its course.
As the five senses become subdued, fresh hosts of difficulties spring up irrationally from the brain itself. And, whichever way we turn, a mob of subconscious thoughts pull us this way and that, and our plight in this truculent multitude is a hundred times worse than when we commenced to wrestle with the five senses. Like wandering comets and {185} meteorites they seemingly come from nowhere, splash like falling stars through the firmament of our meditation, sparkle and are gone; but ever coming as a distraction to hamper and harass our onward march.
Once the mind has conquered these, a fresh difficulty arises, the danger of not being strong enough to overcome the occult powers which, though the reward of our toils, are liable, like the Queen in her bedchamber, to seduce the Conqueror in spite of his having conquered the King her husband, and secretly slay him as he sleeps in her arms. These are the powers known in the West as the Miraculous Powers, in the East as Siddhis.
The mind is now a blank, the senses have been subdued, the subconscious thoughts slain; it stretches before us like some unspotted canvas upon which we may write or paint whatever we will. We can produce entrancing sounds at will, beautiful sights at will, subtle tastes and delicious perfumes; and after a time actual forms, living creatures, men and women and elementals. We smite the rock, and the waters flow at our blow; we cry unto the heavens, and fire rushes down and consumes our sacrifice; we become Magicians, begetters of illusion, and then, if we allow ourselves to become obsessed by them, a time comes when these illusions will master us, when the children we have begotten will rise up and dethrone us, and we shall be drowned in the waters that now we can no longer control and be burnt up by the flames that mock obedience, and scorn our word.
Directly we perform a miracle we produce a change: a change is Mara the Devil, and not God the Changeless One. And though we may have scraped clean the palimpsest of our {186} mind, our labours are in vain, if, when once it is stretched out spotless before us, we start scribbling over it our silly riddles, our little thoughts, our foolish "yeas" and "nays." The finger of God alone may write upon it, cleanly and beautifully, and the words that are written cannot be read by the eye or in the heart of man, for alone can they be understood by him who is worthy to understand them.
Now, though Frater P. had not as yet proved this, had not as yet accomplished the cleansing of the book of his mind, he had, however, built up on his own empirical observation so invulnerable a theory, that it now only remained for him to obtain that fine proportion, that perfect adjustment, that balancing of the Forces of the Will, which now lay before him like he chemicals in the crucible of a Chemist, before applying that certain heat which would dissolve all into one. He did not wish to rule by the Scptre he had won, but to transcend it; to rule the forces of this world, not by the authority that had been given him, but by his own essential greatness. And just as long before Mendeljeff had propounded the law of Periodicity, and by it had foreshadowed the existence of several undiscovered elements, so now did Frater P., by his law of the Correspondences of the Ruach, prove, not only historically, philosophically, theologically and mythologically the existence of the everywhere proclaimed Jechidah as being one, but in a lesser degree: that when an Egyptian thought of Ptah, a Greek of Iacchus, a Hindu of Parabrahman and a Christian of the Trinity as a Unity, they were not thinking of four Gods, but of one God, not of four conditions but of one condition, not of four results but of one result; and, that should they set out to attain unity with their ideal, the stages {187} they would progress through would be in all cases essentially the same, the differences, if any, being due to the mental limitations of the experimenter, his education and prejudices, and not because the roads were dissimilar. Thus by this law could he with certainty predict that if a certain exercise were undertaken certain stages would be passed through, and what these stages meant relative to the final result, irrespective of the creed, caste, or sect of the practicer.
Further, he had proved beyond doubt or quibble, that the terrific strain caused by the Eastern breathing exercises was no whit greater or less than that resulting from The Acts of Worship in an operation of Ceremonial Magic, that Dhâranâ and the Mantra yoga were in effect none other than a paraphrase of the Sacred Magic and the Acts of Invocation; and ultimately that the while system of Eastern yoga was but a synonym of Western Mysticism. Starting from the root, he had by now crept sufficiently far through the darkness of the black earth to predict a great tree above, and to prophecy concerning a Kingdom of Light and Loveliness; and, as a worm will detect its approach to the earth surface by the warmth of the mould, so did he detect by a sense, new and unknown to him, a world as different from the world he lived in as the world of awakenment differs from the world of dreams. Further, did he grow to understand, that, though as a sustenance to the tree itself one root might not be as important as another, yet that they all drew their strength from the self-same soil, and ultimately united in the one trunk above. Some were rotten with age, some dying, some again but feeders of useless shoots, but more sympathetically, more scientifically, they were all of one kind, the roots of one actual {188} living tree,dissimilar in shape but similar in substance, and all working for one definite end.
Thus did Frater P. by two years close and unabandoned experiment show, to his own satisfaction, that Yoga was nut the Art of uniting the mind to a single idea; and that Gnana-Yoga, Raja-Yoga, Bhakta-Yoga and Hatha-Yoga283 were but one class of methods leading to the same Result as attained to by The Holy Qabalah, The Sacred Magic, The Acts of Worship and The Ordeals of Western Ceremonial Magic; which again are but subsections of that One Art, the Art of uniting the mind to a Single Idea. And, that all these, The Union by Knowledge, The Union by Will, The Union by Love, The Union by Courage found their vanishing point in the Supreme Union through Silence; that Union in which understanding fails us, and beyond which we can no more progress than we can beyond the Equilibrium set forth as the Ultimate End by Gustave le Bon. There all knowledge ceases, and we like Bâhva, when he was questioned by Vâshkali, can only expound the nature of this Silence, as he expounded the nature of Brahman, by remaining silent, as the story relates:
And he said, "Teach me, most reverend Sir, the nature of Brahman." The other however remained silent. But when the question was put for a second or third time he answered, "I teach you indeed, but you do not understand; this Âtman is silent."
P. had not yet attained to this Silence; indeed it was the goal he had set out to accomplish, and though from the ridge {189} of the great mountain upon which he was standing the summit seemed but a furlong above him, it was in truth many a year’s weary march away, and ridge upon ridge lay concealed, and each as it was gained presented an increasing difficulty.
This Silence or Equilibrium is described in the "Shiva Sanhita"284 as Samâdhi:
"When the mind of the Yogi is absorbed in the Great God,285 then the fulness of Samâdhi286 is attained, then the Yogi gets steadfastness.287
Though Frater P. had not attained to this Steadfastness, he had won a decisive victory over the lower states of Dhyanâ as far back as October 1901, which shows that though he was still distant he was by degrees nearing a state in which he would find no more Worlds to Conquer.
However, up to this point, there are several results to record, which are of extreme importance to the beginner, in so much that some of them are arrived at by methods diametrically opposed to those held by the dogmatic Yogins.
At the very commencement of his Yoga exercises Frater P. discovered, that in so lecherous a race as the Hindus it is absolutely necessary before a Chela can be accepted by a Guru to castrate him spiritually and mentally.288 This being so, we {190} therefore find almost every master of note, from Sankaracharya down to Agamya Paramahamsa, insisting on the maintenance to the letter of the rules of Yama and Niyama, that is absolute Chastity in body and mind amongst their pupils.289
Now P. proved that the strict letter of the law of Chastity had no more to do with the ultimate success of attainment than refusing to work on a Sabbath had to do with a free pass to the Celestial regions, unless every act of chastity was computed and performed in a magical manner, each act becoming as it were a link in one great chain, a formula in one great operation, an operation not leading to Chastity, the symbol, but beyond Chastity to the essence itself namely the Âtman, Adonai. Further he proved to his own satisfaction that, though absolute Chastity might mean salvation to one man, inducing in the lecherous a speedy concentration, it might be the greatest hindrance to another, who was by nature chaste.290 {191} He realized that there were in this world she-mules as well as she-asses, and that though the former would never foal in spite of all the stallions of moultan, the latter seldom failed to do so after having been for a few minutes in the presence of a Margate jackass.
Discarding Chastity (Brahmachârya) a good purgative for the prurient he wrote in its place the word "Health." do not worry about this code and that law, about the jibber of this crank or the jabber of that faddist. to hell with ethical pigs and prigs alike. Do what you like"; but in the name of your own Higher Self wilfully do no injury to your own body or mind by over indulgence or under indulgence. Discover your normal appetite; satisfy it. Do not become a glutton, and do not become a nut-cracking skindlewig.
Soon after his arrival in Ceylon, and at the time that he was working with Frater I. A. the greatness of the Buddha, as we have already see, attracted him, and he turned his attention to the dogmatic literature of Buddhism only to find that behind its unsworded Cromwellian colossus,291 with all his rigid virtues, his stern reasoning, his uncharitableness, judicialism and impartiality, slunk a pack of pig-headed dolts, stubborn, asinine and mulish; slavish, menial and {192} gutless; puritanic, pharisaical and "suburban" as any seventeenth century presbyter, as biliously narrow-minded as any of the present day Bethelites, Baptists, and Bible-beer brewers.292
The dogmatism of literal Buddhism appalled him. The Five Precepts, which are the Yama and Niyama of Buddhism, he at once saw, in spite of Nagasena and prig Milinda, must be broken by every Arahat each time he inhaled a breath of air. They were as absurd as they were valueless. But behind all this tantalizing frou-frou, this lingerie de cocotte, beautifully designed to cover the narded limbs of foolish virgins, sits the Buddha in silent meditation; so that P. soon discovered that by stripping his body of all these tawdry trappings, this feminine under-wear, and by utterly discarding the copy-book precepts of Baptistical Buddhists, the Four Noble Truths were none other than the complete Yoga, and that in The Three Characteristics293 the summit of philosophy (The Ruach) had been reached.
The terrific strain of Asana and Prânâyâma, the two chief exercises of Hathavidya, P., by months of trial proved to be {193} not only methods of great use as a sedative before commencing a Magical Operation, but methods of inordinate importance to such aspirants, who, having discarded the Shibboleths of sect, have adopted the fatuities of reason. For it is more difficult for one who has no natural magical aptitude, and one who perhaps has only just broken away from faith and corrupted ritual, to carry out an operation of Western Magic, than it is for him to sit down and perform a rational exercise, such as the Prânâyâma exercises of Yoga, which carry with them their own result, in spite of the mental attitude of the chela towards them, so long as the instructions of the Guru are properly carried out.294
As already pointed out, the mere fact of sitting for a time in a certain position, of inhaling, exhaling and of holding the breath, brings with it, even in the case of the most obdurate sceptic, a natural concentration, an inevitable Pratyâhâra, which develops in the aspirant the Siddhis, those seemingly miraculous powers which distinguish an Adeptus Major from an Adeptus Minor, and entitle the possessor to the rank of 6○=5□.
From this discovery295 Frater P. made yet another, and this time one of still greater importance. And this was, that if the {194} Adept, when once the Siddhis were attained, by a self-control (a still higher concentration) refused to expend these occult powers,296 by degrees he accumulated within himself a terrific force; charged like a Leyden jar, instantaneously could he transmute this power into whatever he willed; but the act brought with it a recoil, and caused an exhaustion and a void which nullified the powers gained. Ultimately he proved that it was rather by the restraint of these occult (mental) powers than that of the bodily ones that Ojas is produced.297
By now he was beginning to learn that there was more than one way of opening the Lion’s jaws; and that gentleness and humility would often succeed where brutality and much boasting were sure to fail. The higher he ascended into the realms of the Ruach the more he realized the irrational folly of performing wonders before a mob of gargoyle-headed apes, of pulling the strings of mystical marionettes and reducing himself to the level of an occult Punch and Judy showman. He had attained to powers that were beyond the normal, and now he carried them secretly like some precious blade of Damascus steel, hidden in a velvet sheath, concealed from view, but ever ready to hand. He did not display his weapon to the wanton, neither did he brandish it before the {195} eyes of the gilded courtezan Babylon, thou harlot of the seven mansions of God’s Glory! But he kept it free from rust, sharp and glittering bright, so that when the time came wherein he should be called upon to use it, it might leap forth from its sheath like a flash of lightning from betwixt the lips of God, and slay him who had ventured to cross his path, silently, without even so much as grating against his bones. {196}
234 No rough working is given in this volume; it is only a compendium of Results.
235 The goddess Isis, Deir, Kali, Sakti, etc., in her aspect as the patroness of Meditation. There are five principal meditations. Metta-Bhâvanâ, on love; Karunâ-Bhâvanâ, on pity; Muditâ-Bhâvanâ, on joy; Asubha-Bhâvanâ on impunity; and Upekshâ-Bhâvanâ, on serenity. But see "777", col. xxiii, p. 9.
236 Old native name for Ceylon.
237 Frater I.A.’s Eastern name, afterwards changed to Ananda Metteya.
238 Any who have undergone this test will readily understand how severe it is. The speaker says something with a view to break the meditation of the meditator. Meanwhile the meditator must so strengthen his will, that he "wills" to remain in his meditation uninterrupted; and yet in the end, though his mind has never wandered in contemplating the object meditated upon, he, nevertheless, has to repeat what the speaker said; which when the will is very strong may not even be heard as a sound, let alone as a coherent sentence. The will has to keep the thinking faculty of the meditator from interrupting the meditation; but meanwhile the thinking faculty without in any way breaking the meditation has to receive the message of the speaker and deliver it unimpaired to the meditator directly the meditation is at an end. This experiment, except that it is carried out by an act of will, differs very slightly, if at all, from those moments in which whilst absorbed in some work, we hear a clock strike, and only realize that the clock has struck a certain hour some considerable time after the event.
239 The Thunderbolt: see Illustration in THE EQUINOX, vol. i, No. 1.
240 I.e., no longer uttering the Mantra, but listening to the Mystic Voice of the Universe saying it.
241 These mystic sounds heard by the Yogi are supposed to proceed from the Anahata Chakkra.
242 Shot for Namo Shivaya Namaha Aum.
243 "Hatha Yoga Pradipika," p. 91. The description here is of the Shanmukhi Mudra.
244 Ibid., p. 92. {152}
245 "Hatha Yoga Pradipika," p. 93.
246 Chiefly by the Yoga of Nâda-Laya, a Dhyâna.
247 "Shiva Sanhita," chap. v, p. 42.
248 "The Voice of the Silence," pp. 24, 25.
249 "Hatha Yoga Pradipika," iv, 96. For some of these sounds also see Brahamvidyâ, 13, Dhyânabindu, 18, and the Hamsa Upanishad, 4.
250 Mental or bodily attributes.
251 See "777," col. lv, p. 17.
252 "Hatha Yoga Pradipika," pp. 97-100. Also, Amritabindu Apanishad, 24.
253 Nadi-Yama or Control of the nerve-channels by regular breathing, without Khumbaka or holding the breath.
254 He whose Nadi are pure has (1) a clear complexion; (2) a sweet voice; (3) a calm appearance; (4) bright eyes; (5) hearing constantly the Nada.
255 The same as Nadi-Yama.
256 Anahata Lotus, mystic ganglion in the heart. See diagram.
257 Dhâranâ on Ajna prevents sleep: ditto on Anahata causes it.
258 In practising Prânâyâma, the breath may get convulsively withheld, all the muscles going suddenly rigid, without the will of the Yogi. This is called Sukshama-Kumbhaka, or Automatic holding in of the breath. This phenomenon marks a stage in attainment.
259 A Mantra. Shi="Peace," Va="Power." It means "Thy peace by poser increasing In me by power to peace."
260 The four characteristic results of Prânâyâma are (1) perspiration; (2) rigidity; (3) jumping about like a frog; (4) levitation. P. never experienced this last result. But it is possible that, if there was an actual loss of weight, that this was at least a step towards it.
261 We do not know what this means, unless the note of Shri Mâitrânanda’s bell was different from that of Frater P’s.
262 Wand.
263 When gods are near, or Kundalini arises thither, the petals bend down and out: thus is the Winged-Globe of Egypt formed. These petals are the same as the horn of Pan which open out as the God descends.
264 A Hatha Yoga Practice. P.’s idea of the practice was to drink a pint right off! Hence disappointment.
265 Probably at this time a period of "dryness" supervened.
266 The Golden Dawn, Dhyâna of the Sun.
267 Or Rupa Visions. That is, visions of the three Lights of the Gunas. See "The Herb Dangerous." THE EQUINOX, vol. 1, No. 2.
268 The great Vision of Vishnu. See the Eleventh Discourse on the Bhagavad-Gîta. "Unnumbered arms, the sun and moon. Thine eyes. I see Thy face, as sacrificial fire blazing, its splendour burneth up the worlds." Verse 19.
269 Adonai. The Vision of the Holy Guardian Angel.
270 Atma-Darshana, the universal vision of Pan, or the vision of the Universal Peacock. It has many forms.
271 Vision of Shiva, which destroys the Atma-Darshana. The God Shiva opens his eye, and Equilibrium is re-established.
272 This is a mere thought-form induced by misunderstanding the instruction of Mâitrânanda Swami as to observing the phenomenon.
273 Cf. Captain J. F. C. Fuller’s "Star in the West," pp 287, 288. "In his Essay ’Eleusis," Crowley suggests that the world’s history may roughly be divided into a continuous succession of periods, each embracing three distinct cycles of Renaissance, Decadence, and slime. In the first the Adepts rise as artists, philosophers, and men of science, who are sooner or later recognized as great men; in the second the adepts as adepts appear, but seem as fools and knaves; and in the third, that of Slime, vanish altogether, and are invisible. Then the chain starts again. Thus Crowley writes: "’Decadence marks the period when the adepts, nearing their earthly perfection, become true adepts,not mere men of genius. They disappear, harvested by heaven: and perfect darkness (apparent death) ensues until the youthful forerunners of the next crop begin to shoot if the form of artists.’"
274 Till 1906. The theory of the Great White Brotherhood, as set forth in the story called "The Blossom and the Fruit," by Miss Mabel Collins.
275 The practice of Mahasipatthana is explained by Mr. A. Crowley in his "Science and Buddhism" very fully. Briefly: In this mediation the mind is not restrained to the contemplation of a single object, and there is no interference with the natural functions of the body. It is essentially an observation-practice, which later assumes an analytic aspect in regard to the question: "What is it that is really observed?" The Ego-idea is excluded; all bodily motions are observed and recorded; for instance, one may sit down quietly and say: There is a raising of the right foot." "There is an expiration," etc.;, etc., just as it happens. When once this habit of excluding the Ego become intuitive, the next step is to explain the above thus: "There is a sensation (Vedana) of a raising, etc." The next stage is that of perception (Sañña) "There is a perception of a (pleasant and unpleasant) sensation of a raising, etc." The two further stages Sankhara and Viññanam pursue the analysis to its ultimation. "There is a consciousness of a tendency to perceive the (pleasant and unpleasant) sensation of a raising of the right foot" being the final form. The Buddha himself said that if a man practises Mahasatipatthana honestly and intelligently a result is certain.
276 This, though a good system is a very difficult one to carry out.
277 N.B. Frater P. did not practise when physically unfit.
278 Not understood.
279 Om Tat Sat Aum.
280 30. 15. 60.
281 This meeting with H. L., though of no importance in itself, led to cone of the most important happenings in P.’s life; for it was through him that he again met Ouarda the seer, as we shall see at a later date.
282 These interrupting voice suggestions have been named by P. Telephone-cross-voices on account of their close resemblance to disjointed conversations so often heard whilst using a telephone. A similar phenomenon occurs in wireless telegraphy; chance currents make words, and are so read by the operator. They are called "atmospherics." I propose the retention of this useful word in place of the clumsy "Telephone-cross-voices."
283 To which may be added Mantra Yoga and Karma Yoga, which correspond with The Invocation and The Acts of Service and represent Union through Speech and Union through Work.
284 "Shiva Sanhita," chap. v, 155.
285 Âtman, Pan, Harpocrates, whose sign is silence, etc., etc. See " "777".
286 The Vision of the Holy Guardian Angel Adonai.
287 Equilibrium, Silence, Supreme Attainment, Zero.
288 As for women they are considered beyond the possibility of redemption, for in order of re-incarnation they are placed seven stages below a man, three below a camel, and one below a pig. Manu speaks of "the gliding of the soul through ten thousand millions of wombs." And if a man steal grain in the husk, he shall be born a rat; if honey, a great stinging gnat; if milk, a crow; if woven flax, a frog; if a cow, a lizard; if a horse, a tiger; if roots or fruit, an ape; if a woman, a bear. "Institutes of Manu," xii, 55-67.
289 We find Christ insisting on this absolute chastity of body and mind, in a similar manner, and for similar reasons; for the Eastern Jew if he is not actually doing something dirty, is sure to be thinking about it.
290 The reason for this is very simple. Take for example a glutton who lives for his palate and his stomach; he is always longing for tasty foods and spends his whole life seeking them. Let us now substitute the symbol of the Augoeides or Âtman for that of food and drink, let him every time he thinks of food and drink push the thought aside and in its place contemplate his Higher Self, and the result is a natural invocation of the Âtman, Augoeides, or Higher Self. If the aspirant be an artist let him do the same with hisart; if a musician, with his music; if a poet, with his verses and rhymes. For the best foundation to build upon is always to be found upon that which a man "loves" "best." It is no good asking a glutton who does not care a row of brass pins for music, to turn music into a magical formula, neither is it of the slightest use to impress upon a clean-minded individual the necessity of living a chaste life. It is like tapping Samson on the shoulder, just after he has carried the pates of Gaza on to the top of the hill before Hebron, and saying: "My good boy, if you ever intend becoming strong, the first thing you must do is to buy a pair of my four pound dumb- bells and my sixpenny book on physical culture."
291 The Buddha (it is true) did not encourage bloodshed, in spite of his having died from an overfeed of pork, but as Mr. A. Crowley has said, many of his present-day followers are quite capable of killing their own brothers for five rupees. The Western theory that Buddhists are lambs and models of virtue is due to the fact that certain Western vices are not so congenial to the Asiatic as they are to the European; and not because Buddhists are incapable of enjoying themselves.
292 Buddhism as a schism from the Brahminical religion may in many respects be compared with Lutheranism as a schism from the Catholic Church. Both Buddha and Luther set aside the authority of miracles, and appealed to the reason of the middle classes of their day. The Vedas were the outcome of aristocratic thought; and so in truth was the Christianity of Constantine and the Popes, that full-blooded Christianity which so soon swallowed the mystical Christ and the anaemic communism of the canaille which followed him. Conventional Buddhism is pre-eminently the "nice" religion of the bourgeoisie; it neither panders to the superstition of the masses nor palliates the gallantries of the aristocracy; it is essentially middle-class; and this no doubt is the chief reason why it has met with a kindly reception by this nation of shop-walkers.
293 Anikka, Change; Dukka, Sorrow; Anatta, Absence of an Ego.
294 Prânâyâma acts on the mind just as Calomel acts on the bowels. It does not matter if a patient believes in Calomel or not. The physician administers it, and even if the patient be a most hostile Christian Scientist, the result is certain. Similarly with Prânâyâma, the Guru gives his chela a certain exercise, and as surely as the Calomel voided the noxious matter from the intestines of the sufferer, so will the Prânâyâma void the capricious thoughts from the mind of the disciple.
295 By discovery here we mean individual experiment resulting in personal discovery; another person’s discovery only begets illusion and comment. Individual discovery is the only true discovery worth consideration.
296 Nearly all the Masters have been cautious how they handled this power; generally refusing to expend it at the mere caprice of their followers or opponents. The Siddhis are like the Gold of the Alchemist. Once discovered it is kept secret, and the more secretly it is kept the more it is hoarded the richer becomes the discoverer, and then one day will come wherein he will be able to pay his own ransom, and this is the only ransom that is acceptable unto God.
297 Possibly the restraint of Brahmachârya produced the Siddhis, and that further restraint in its turn produced an accumulation of these occult powers, the benefit accruing from which is again placed to the credit of the bodily powers.
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