- FRANKFURT, Germany -- Governments, police services and prison authorities
around the world are reportedly "overjoyed" by the launch of
a new prescription drug that cures people who are suffering doubts about
the veracity of the so-called Jewish Holocaust.
-
- Shares in Israel-based Goy & Goy
Pharmaceuticals Incorporated rocketed to 89 US dollars following the long-awaited
announcement of a miracle cure for Holocaust Denial Syndrome (HDS).
-
- Soon to be marketed and sold under the
name Holozac, the drug works by rapidly closing down the brain's centre
of intellectual inquiry. It also blocks the re-uptake of politically incorrect
neurotransmitters involved in critical thought processes, making it more
difficult to distinguish between truth and lies.
-
- "We're simply overwhelmed by the
response of the governments we control in the Zionist West," says
Ari Scheister, Marketing Director for Goy & Goy's regional office in
Germany. "Particularly so in the European Union where prisons are
bursting at the seams with professors, journalists and academics who are
all suffering the symptoms of advanced and potentially fatal HDS and other
diseases associated with human awareness and a passion for the truth."
-
- Europe's most prominent sufferers, Ernst
Zundel, Germar Rudolf and David Irving are said to be in a stable condition
following incarceration in high-security prison facilities for People Who
Read Books (PWRBs).
-
- "Next to People Who Have the Audacity
to Actually Write Books (PWHTATAWBs), the PWRBs are our most urgent concern,"
says Guenther Gutmensch, Parliamentary Chairman of the Federal Commission
for Confiscating and Burning Books That Make People Think Something Ain't
Right (FCFCABBTMPTSAR). "They ask lots of questions and they have
an unnatural and very unhealthy obsession with finding out the truth. They
simply do not believe a word we say."
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- Goy & Goy Pharmaceuticals were given
the green light by EU health regulators yesterday following extensive double-blind
tests involving twenty HDS sufferers. Over a seven-day period, the patients
were allowed unrestricted access to a library of detailed and scientifically
authenticated studies of the so-called Jewish Holocaust. Ten of the patients
were given a placebo, whereas each of the other ten was administered 500
mg of Holozac twelve times a day.
-
- "The results were astonishing,"
says Dr Ron Haggler, who supervised the trial. "On the first day,
both groups quickly found all three volumes of the 1948 'Report of the
International Committee of the Red Cross', and 'The Hoax of the Twentieth
Century' by Arthur Butz. On the second day, patients were still reading
and discussing Germar Rudolf's 'Lectures on the Holocaust' and Juergen
Graf's seminal 'The Giant with Feet of Clay'."
-
- "However," continues Haggler,
"by Wednesday morning the group treated with Holozac had actually
pushed aside Carlo Mattogno's 'Auschwitz: Rumor and Reality' and Norman
Finkelstein's 'The Holocaust Industry' in favour of the semi-mythical 'Schindler's
List'. At the end of the experiment they were actually fighting over the
only available copy of Germany's favourite self-loathing, government-controlled
newspaper 'Bild Zeitung'."
-
- There are however side effects associated
with Holozac. It's active ingredient Zionine has been shown to cause a
pathological hatred of Palestinians and Muslims in general.
-
- "It's not for cartoonists or editor's
of Mossad-controlled newspapers," Haggler explained. "We are
also cautioning doctors not to prescribe to patients who have a habit of
harming either themselves or complete strangers and who then blame that
harm on imaginary Arab terrorists."
-
- Haggler's colleagues also stress that
giving the drug to Christians who have been artfully persuaded to believe
a false, unscriptural, satanic doctrine known as the Zionist Dispensation
would be sheer overkill.
-
- "Cyrus Scofield and the Rapture
crowd did to American Christians what this drug can do to the Holy Remnant,"
says an Israeli team coordinator, smiling. "Pastors and Ministers
in the United States, who have deliberately confused the pristine Kingdom
of God with a stretch of worthless real estate on a spinning ball of dirt,
have all but made medical treatment with Holozac unnecessary. A Scofield
Reference Bible believer on just one milligram of Zionine would make the
Irgun death squad look like the Cub Scouts on a paper chase. Buying stock
in Caterpillar Bulldozers would be a smart move. Here's my broker's phone
number."
-
- Despite such reservations about possible
side effects, the European Union has already invested 15 billion euros
in what it describes as the most ambitious mental health campaign in modern
times.
-
- "We're talking about targeted pre-emptive
measures," says an EU spokesman for Mental Hygiene and Correct Thinking.
"Holocaust Denial Syndrome begins at home and in the classroom. Does
your child ask questions? Does he or she read books? Does he or she get
bored with television news programmes and surf the Internet for uncensored
history sites and the truth about September 11? If the answer is 'yes'
to any one of these painfully necessary questions, then your child should
be treated with Holozac immediately before his or her brain has a chance
to fully develop its dangerous critical faculties."
-
- Much to the delight of Goy & Goy
shareholders, that recommendation was heartily echoed by bought-and-paid-for
psychiatric professionals throughout the European Union yesterday.
-
- "We often find ourselves being
called out at short notice to help the police deal with highly intelligent
people who question the official version of history and who therefore require
urgent medication," says first-responder Heidi Stomp. "At the
end of the day, all we want is a society of normal, well-adjusted people
who watch television, trust the government, don't ask questions, pay their
taxes and love Israel."
-
- "Governments are limited in terms
of what they can do to keep young men dying in wars for Israel premised
upon our cleverly scripted history and other scams," reiterates Ari
Scheister. "They can burn books and lie and deceive over and over
again, but there's always a hard core of dangerously self-educated and
wilfully informed people who persist in asking troublesome questions about
our precious and wonderfully unique Holocaust, despite the threat of imprisonment
or worse. The only way to deal with this terrible disease and stop the
truth from infecting other people is by treating sufferers with our new
miracle Holozac."
-
- "To paraphrase one of our cleverest
non-attributable disinformation slogans of all time," concludes Scheister,
"it may not be the only solution, but it's sure as hell the final
solution. Pass the Sushi, will ya?"
-
- _____
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- Michael James is a British freelance
journalist and translator, resident in Germany for almost 14 years. All
of his online journalism is public domain and may therefore be republished
freely in any media without permission.
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