Tired of being the odd one at family gatherings?

Sick of friends who apologize for you to others by prewarning them that you are a “white supremacist” or a “racist?”

Having trouble meeting girls?

If married, do you have the sense that your wife slowly is slipping away?  That your children are vaguely ashamed of you?

Tired of being angry and upset about any or all of the foregoing, but unwilling to “go over to the other side?”  Get in line.

The good news is that you have lots of company.  The bad news is that you keep shooting yourself in your foot.  I’ve been there.  I know.

Today, I have a healthy and robust family life with a wife of twenty-one years who respects my opinions and even shares a great many of them.  My kids are proud of me, despite occasionally being tarred with the brush that regularly is used on me.  We all are plugged into normal society, with normal friends (in my case, all things are relative, of course), normal interests and normal pastimes.  We all love each other – a lot.  I’m a lucky guy, for these are the things that really matter.  But – is it really just luck?

Often, I remark to my children that the world is full of morons, a phrase that has become a mantra for us and turned into one of our longest-running family jokes.  But it isn’t really a joke – not in the sense that I mean it.

It is simply amazing how stupid everyone can seem to be, isn’t it?  Even close friends and family members can seem like empty-headed dolts when politically-incorrect concepts come up.  It is a powerful urge to take them straight on and overwhelm them with the sheer strength of your logic, so that is just what you do.  And, every single time, you end up dusted, muttering to yourself about how the world is full of morons.  Does any of this ring a bell for you?

There’s an old joke that goes:  “I can win any argument, just ask any of a number of my ex friends!”  What?  You’re not laughing?

Well, listen up.  There is hope.

Dare to Be Normal

One of my closest friends brought me up short one day long ago when, in response to my chiding him for moving into one of those vast, rambling plastic apartment complexes: “Eddie,” he said, “character is something that comes from within.  We don’t wear it and we can’t live in it.”  When you hear a fundamental truth like that, it validates itself with an internal ring of authenticity, doesn’t it?  Some things simply do not require proof.

Just look at so many teenagers and young adults, yet to discover their own inherent character (or lack of it) - putting on odd clothes and hairstyles in an attempt to distinguish themselves from their parents and teachers.  Body Piercing.  Tattoos.  Profanity.  Anything to be different, it seems.  Anything to be an individual.  Anything to have character.  They haven’t learned what my friend so effortlessly knew by instinct.

In fact, their odd appearance and demeanor gets in the way of getting along with the rest of us, doesn’t it?  Consider – why would it be any different for you?

Dare to be normal.  Look and act like everyone else and they will assume you are one of them.  You are, you know.  There is very little difference among us, when all is said and done.  Go along to get along.  No, not ideologically, though moderation might serve you better than extremism in that arena, as well.  If you truly want to persuade others, then be as acceptable to them as possible, so that you can get close enough to plant those seeds of dissent into their psyches.

Go for the Easy Kill First

Because we all are pretty much the same (even liberals, believe it or not), our pushable buttons all are in the same places.  Choose your points of entry with care when approaching others on politically-incorrect topics, to ensure you get initial agreement and acceptance.  Once you have gotten someone to say yes a few times, it is much easier to keep them saying it.

Even liberals have strong feelings about unfairness.  Consider just how unfair are things like affirmative action, hiring/school admission quotas, slave reparations and the like.  Go for the easy kill first.  You’ll be surprised at how easy the more difficult kill becomes after you have gotten them saying yes.  Getting someone to voice displeasure with their kids’ education being crap because half their classmates belong in remedial institutions is a big step toward getting them to see what’s wrong with unlimited immigration, miscegenation and "no child left behind."

Listen

Ever notice how you seem to develop your thinking and your positions while you are busy talking?  We all do that.  Employ that fact as your main strategy.  Get the other person talking and keep them talking.  Get them to say what you want to say so that they actually end up defending their new-found position against your devil’s advocate questioning.

We all love to talk.  We all love to be listened to.  What is your objective, after all – stroking your own ego or persuading others?  Listen.  It’s easy.  It is the basic strategy of true persuasion.

Nudge Them into Position

Persuading another can be likened to a tugboat guiding an ocean liner into her berth: you must apply constant pressure, pressure which barely is felt by the other.  Otherwise, you create your own opposition and force them to defend (and, often, adopt) a position contrary to the very one to which you seek to bring them.  You know what I’m talking about because you’ve done it far too often, haven’t you?

The primary technique employed in the strategy of persuasive listening is to ask leading questions - questions which suggest the very answer you seek.  Questions to which you already know the answer.  Questions which you know the other person will answer in a certain way, thereby taking the first steps down a path you have charted.  Make it topical, if possible, so that the other person has some knowledge but has yet to harden into a position about the subject.  For example:  "Hey, did you catch the Academy Awards?  Did you see Mel Gibson’s 'The Passion of the Christ?'  What happened?"

A second technique is to share some compelling and honest portion of yourself, thereby forging a bond of intimacy and trust which compels the other person to respond in kind:  "I feel like I’ve let my son down, somehow, simply because I can’t afford to send him to my alma mater, due to the amount of out-of-state tuition they want.  Did you know that illegal aliens get that requirement waived?"

Ask the leading question or share yourself succinctly, then stand back. You will be amazed at the results.

Overcoming Objections

Sales people talk about handling a prospect’s “considerations,” enroute to closing a deal.  Consideration:  "This car’s pretty old."   Response:  "Yeah, but she sure does run well.  They don’t make them like this any more, you know."

You will have to do the same.  Consideration:  "I take people individually, one at a time."  Response:  "Society doesn’t, you know.  It passes out favors to whole groups – and we’re not in any of them."  Or:  "When was the last time you had the favor returned by any of them?"  Or:  "Is it simply coincidental that Blacks are fifty times more likely to commit violent crimes than Whites?  Fifty times!  Do you believe in coincidence?  There’s something more fundamental than social or economic injustice going on there."

Bread on the Water

Don’t look for on-the-spot conversions.  You won’t get them.  But, that doesn’t mean you haven’t made a difference.  Everything you say goes into the hopper.  The more credibility you have with another, the more weight they accord to what you say. 

People are kind of like a balance scale:  Keep adding weight to the light side until, all at once, it suddenly swings into a different position. 

Be satisfied that you were heard.  Be there when they come back for more.

New America.  An idea whose time has come.

My name is Edgar J. Steele.  Thanks for listening.  Please visit my web site, www.ConspiracyPenPal.com, for other messages just like this one.  

-ed

Copyright ©2006, Edgar J. Steele

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