Monday, May 1, has been dubbed "A Day Without Mexicans" by those who seek to show the rest of us just how essential those wonderfully "productive and law-abiding guest workers" from south of the border have become to America. 

Predictably, I have a different take on the whole affair.

First of all, my version is called "A Day Without Meskins," the way it properly should be pronounced.  Sloppy.  Slurred.  Offensive.

Now let's take a look at all the ways that America would be different without Meskins stretching as far as the eye can see.

Immigrants without a high-school diploma (is there any other kind?), whether legal or not, cost America nearly $90,000 each more in government services than paid in taxes during their lifetimes (per the National Research Council). 

Lessee now, that's 30 million so far, probably twice that, actually, times $90,000, for a total of $2,700,000,000,000.  That's $2.7 trillion dollars, a sum so huge that practically nobody yet even hears the word trillions used in anything except accumulated national debt.  That leaves about 270 million Americans holding the bag, or approximately 90 million households, at least half of which pay little or no income taxes whatsoever.  In which half do you find yourself and your family? 

If you are among those paying taxes, you will end up paying somewhere between $60,000 and $90,000 to them (and that's just for the Meskins that already are here, not the ones flooding over the border in ever-increasing numbers every day because of Bush's demand for amnesty, refusal to enforce immigration laws and characterization of those of us who complain as "vigilantes"). 

That's nearly $100,000 from you to them so that Pedro and his extended family of 24 living in a 6-room house can blare loud Mariachi music next door at all hours of the day, throw empty beer cans onto your lawn, sell drugs to your kids after threatening and beating them up at school, where your kids get stupider every day because Pedro's kids don't speak English, because Pedro won't speak English, which, together with the fact that their average IQ approaches that of Blacks, forces teachers to teach to the class bottom, which is so far below your kids that they never will learn anything useful in school, but you won't notice because both you and your wife are so busy working two jobs each to pay the bills, including the medical bills for injuries sustained when Pedro's uninsured car ran into your wife's car and counseling for your sister, who got raped by Pedro's cousin last year while unlocking the front door of her house, coming home late from her second job, in what used to be a nice, quiet little neighborhood but which now regularly experiences drive-by gang shootings. 

So, in our first day without Meskins, we cut our existing national debt by somewhere between one third and one half!

We save enough money so that, when invested, it allows our wives to stay home with the kids and funds our retirement.

Because Pedro no longer is available to work for beans and tacos, we get paid a living wage and only have to work a single job.

Teachers get to teach again, rather than referee dustups and translate nonstop from English to Meskin. 

Our kids get smarter and better educated, thereby qualifying for better jobs and lives than we have had the sense to obtain.

The beatings, muggings, robberies, rapes and murder of our honest citizens goes down by at least half, with resultant savings, both medical and psychic, that are huge.

Over half of American Blacks now unemployed get jobs and stop adding to the general chaos.

We close 35% of all the prisons in America.

We get rid of at least a quarter of all the judges and lawyers in America.

Hundreds of hospitals, closed because of legally-required free health care for illegals, reopen their doors and, when we need an Emergency Room, one is available with no waiting line composed of sniffling Meskins.

Uninsured auto accidents fall to next to nothing.

Our kids get part-time and summer jobs.

Kennedy and McCain get run out of town on a rail.

We don't experience hostility and surliness with every encounter of a gardener, service station attendant or simply standing in line at the post office.

America's level of formerly eradicated diseases, like leprosy and Bubonic Plague, again subsides to nothing.

Our old folks get to eat something other than dog food for a change.

We no longer endlessly have to pick up tons of trash and plastic milk cartons full of Meskin urine simply tossed alongside roads.

We refugees in our own country can move back to the more desirable places to live, such as Northern and Southern California.

We can turn our full attention to our real domestic enemies - you know who you are.

No more Meskins rioting and marching in our streets demanding rights they don't deserve and that we no longer have, either.

No more Meskin leaders telling us it is our duty to die and let them take over.

No more Meskin flags flying above American flags at our public schools.

A Day Without Meskins.  I could get used to this in a hurry.  Yep.  I think it's a great idea.  Better yet, a week...a month...a year...a lifetime.  Yeah.  A lifetime.  Great idea.  Goodbye, Pedro.  Don't let the door hit you on the way out.  Oh...and Remember the Alamo, Pedro, because I guarantee you that its lesson has not been lost on me or countless others like myself!

My name is Edgar J. Steele.  Thanks for listening.  Please visit my web site, www.ConspiracyPenPal.com, for other messages just like this one.

Copyright ©2006, Edgar J. Steele