In Defense of Spam

by Edgar J. Steele

October 4, 2003

"Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. 
I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam and spam!"
     --- Eric Idle, customer in the infamous Monty Python Spam sketch

Many think that Internet spam derives its name from the square meatball in a can.  Not so.

The term actually comes from the old Monty Python comedy sketch in which a restaurant's customers are presented with an extensive menu of dishes, each of which is composed almost entirely of Spam.  Thus, it is the sense of unavoidability, even inevitability, of email spam that prompts usage of the word, not any undesirable physical characteristics of the original product, itself. 

Just for a fun side trip, here is a link to the soundtrack of the Python sketch: 

    http://www.detritus.org/sounds/real/spam-skit.ram 

The strict definition of email spam is unsolicited, unwanted, bulk email of a commercial nature.  It is the ulterior profit motive that truly distinguishes spam and thereby lessens availability of a First Amendment defense.  A long line of US Supreme Court cases have held that commercial speech is to be afforded much less free reign, thus the restrictions we see on liquor and tobacco ads, not to mention pornography.  The Supremes always have based their decisions on the intrusively manipulative profit-seeking motive underlying such communications.  

In the case of pornography, the justification also is protection of children, though the Supremes pretend that pornographic communication isn't speech, at all, therefore undeserving of constitutional protection.

We lawyers are not supposed to solicit clients directly.  The profit motive is what entitles the Supremes to prohibit us (supposedly) from trolling hospital corridors for personal injury clients.  The sole exception occurs if we are offering to represent a client pro bono (for free).  Then, anything goes.  After all, you didn't think all those nuts wander into the ACLU's offices of their own accord, did you?

Often, the term spam is used to refer to any unwanted email, even that invited by oneself in the first place by some sort of outbound communication.  

So - why am I defending spam?  Because I'm a free-speech nut, for one thing.  The real reason, however, is that I believe spam to be the vehicle by which the Internet will come under total government control and censorship, thereby taking away our last semblance of a free press.  In fact, I believe it is a conspiracy (it is not for nothing that I gave this web site the name it carries, after all) by those who run things, designed to get us to demand that the government intervene and control the Internet.

For example, California's soon-to-be-ex-Governor Gray Davis just signed a law that prohibits sending most commercial email messages to anyone in California who has not explicitly requested them.  This law, which also prohibits companies inside the state from sending unsolicited commercial email to anyone outside California, imposes fines of $1,000 for each message, up to $1 million for each campaign, and gives people the right to file private lawsuits.  This is how it starts.

I get more spam - and more truly offensive spam - than anybody I know.  A lot of it is in retaliation for my political views, which are pretty widely distributed over the Internet.  It all began in earnest when jews threatened my children because I dared to represent a white separatist in a free speech case.  Coincidence?  I think not. And there is more, too, that you simply might not have had occasion to consider.

For a while, I was automatically adding all spam senders to my email list.  I admit I was doing this in retaliation, but it backfired and, in so doing, revealed something to me:  all the porn spam going around is being sent by jews.  I know this because they started filing complaints with my ISP that I was spamming them.  Imagine.  

It's okay for them to send email to my children that shows naked white hookers going down on naked black men, but my little contribution to political incorrectness is too offensive for their precious Chosen sensibilities!  Caused me a bit of trouble until I figured out what was happening by tracing the complainers back to their Chosen lairs.  Jews.  Again.  Seems like every time I turn over a rock in America these days, there is a jew beneath it.

I can't believe these porn sites actually draw that many paying customers, but I could be wrong.  I find it even harder to believe that enough men respond to the penile enlargement emails to justify their expense.  Rather, I would give fairly long odds that this incredibly offensive material is sent around specifically to outrage people like myself.  People who will then demand that those sites be censored.  Out with the bath water, of course, will go baby, and that will be the end of this and all other newsletters that tout anything but the State line.  That's what I think is coming and what will be the legacy of our rising up against this porn spam.  Talk about tough choices.

Already, the filters employed by many spam blockers and child "protection" firewalls are hard coded to block white nationalist sites.  This very newsletter has been banned from access to AOL subscribers for quite some time.  The leftist organizational types (marching to a kosher tune) slipped that in while you weren't looking.  Kids can get detailed "fisting" instructions on the internet but are protected from learning about the mettle of our founding fathers or how the current American regime runs roughshod over the Constitution.

Even now, I am hard pressed to defend porn spam.  Rather, we should enforce existing laws against such pornography being made available to children.  But Federal Prosecutor Chertoff (soon to be Federal Judge Chertoff, his reward for locking up real American patriots who dare to criticize zionists) and the rest of his Chosen fellow travelers won't do that, of course.  Much easier to go after those nasty white separatists for disagreeing with affirmative action and illegal immigration.  And, of course, then they wouldn't be able to use porn spam as the excuse, finally, to shut us all up.

New America.  An idea whose time has come.

Copyright ©2003, Edgar J. Steele

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