Chapter 1 | Horns Book |
Chapter 2 | Becalmed |
Chapter 3 | The Sibyl and the Sorceress |
Chapter 4 | The Tale of the Pajarocu |
Chapter 5 | The Thing on the Green Plain |
Chapter 6 | Seawrack |
Chapter 7 | The Island |
Chapter 8 | The End |
Chapter 9 | Krait |
Chapter 10 | Seawracks Ring |
Chapter 11 | The Land of Fires |
Chapter 12 | War |
Chapter 13 | Brothers |
Chapter 14 | Pajarocu! |
Chapter 15 | The Last Sheets |
Chapter 16 | Northwest |
Many of the persons and places mentioned in this book first
appeared in The Book of the Long Sun, to which the reader is referred.
In the following list, the most significant names are given in
CAPITALS, less significant names in lower case.
Alubukham, a concubine.
Auk, a Vironese burglar.
BABBIE, a tame hus.
Bahar, one of the RAJANs ministers.
Barsat, a woodcutter.
Beled, a coastal town on Blue settled by people from Trivigaunte.
Blazingstar, a New Vironese merchant.
Blood, a crime lord, now dead.
BLUE, the better of the two habitable planets of the SHORT
SUN System.
Book of Silk, HORN and NETTLEs great literary work, also
called The Book of the Long Sun.
Brother, a small boy living with his sister in a forest northwest of
GAON.
Bush, a tavern in PAJAROCU.
Chandi, a concubine.
Chenille, the woman who accompanied Auk to GREEN.
Choora, a long, straight, single-edged knife favored by the
RAJAN.
Chota, a nickname given EVENSONG by her fellow concubines.
Trooper Darjan, a Gaonese boy.
Dorp, a coastal town.
Echidna, a major goddess, the mother of the gods of the LONG
SUN WHORL.
Eschar, a New Vironese merchant.
EVENSONG, the concubine given the RAJAN OF GAON by the
MANOFHAN.
Gadwall, a New Vironese smith.
GAON, a troubled inland town on BLUE.
Geier, one of travelers assembled in PAJAROCU.
Gelada, a convict murdered by Auk long ago.
GREEN, the worse of the habitable planets of the SHORT SUN
System.
Gyrfalcon, a New Vironese merchant.
Corporal Hammerstone, a soldier in the army of VIRON.
HAN, a populous town south of GAON.
HARIMAU, the citizen who brought the RAJAN to GAON.
He-bring-skin, a citizen of PAJAROCU.
He-bold-fire, the captain of PAJAROCUs lander.
He-pen-sheep, a hunter.
He-sing-spell, one of He-hold-fires subordinates.
He-take-bow, one of He-hold-fires subordinates.
Hephaestus, a minor god of the LONG SUN WHORL.
Hide, one of HORNS twin sons.
Hierax, a major god of the LONG SUN WHORL, the god of
death.
Hoof, one of HORNs twin sons.
Hoop, one of the RAJANs scribes.
Aunt Hop, one of NETTLEs sisters.
HORN, a New Vironese paper-maker, the protagonist.
Hyacinth, SILKs beautiful wife.
Jahlee, an inhuma rescued by the RAJAN and EVENSONG.
Kilhari, a hunter of GAON.
KRAIT, the inhumu adopted by HORN.
Kypris, the goddess of love in the LONG SUN WHORL.
Lake Limna, a large lake south of VIRON.
Lal, a small boy of GAON, Mehmans grandson.
LIZARD, an island north of NEW VIRON, the site of HORNs
mill.
LONG SUN WHORL, the interior of the WHORL.
Mahawat, the RAJANs elephant driver.
Main, the eastern continent.
Mamelta, the sleeper rescued by SILK, now dead.
MAN OF HAN, the ruler of HAN.
Maytera MARBLE, the former sibyl who accompanied the
colonists to BLUE and resumed her vocation there, a chem.
MARROW, a New Vironese merchant.
Mehman, the RAJANs head gardener.
General Mint, the heroine of VIRONs revolution, also known as
Maytera Mint.
Molybdenum, a name assumed by Maytera MARBLE.
Mota, a citizen of GAON.
The Mother, a monstrous sea-goddess of BLUE.
Moti, a concubine.
MUCOR, a young woman possessing paranormal powers.
NADI, a river flowing past GAON.
Namak, an officer in the horde of GAON.
Nauvan, an advocate.
NEIGHBORS, BLUEs sentient native race.
NETTLE, HORNs wife.
NEW VIRON, the town on BLUE founded by colonists from
VIRON.
Olivine, a young chem of VIRON.
OREB, a tame night chough.
OUTSIDER, the only god trusted by SILK.
PAJAROCU, a phantom town on BLUEs western continent.
Pas, a major god, the father of the gods in the LONG SUN
WHORL.
Pehla, the RAJANs principal concubine.
fig, a mercenary of the LONG SUN WHORL.
Patera Pike, Patera SILKs predecessor.
Quadrifons, an aspect of the OUTSIDER in the LONG SUN
WHORL.
Patera Quetzal, the inhumu who became Prolocutor of VIRON.
The RAJAN OF GAON, the narrator.
Rajya Mantri, the RAJANs principal minister.
Ram, a citizen of GAON.
The Rani, the ruler of Trivijfaunte.
Patera Remom, the head of the Chapter in NEW VIRON.
Maytera Rose, an elderly sibyl, now dead.
Roti, a citizen of GAON.
General Saba, an officer in the horde of Trivigaunte.
Sciathan, the Flier who accompanied SILK, HORN, and others
to Mainframe.
Scleroderma, a friend of Maytera MARBLES, now dead.
Scylla, a major goddess of the LONG SUN WHORL, the
patroness of VIRON.
SEAWRACK, a one-armed maiden.
Shadelow, HORNS name for the western continent.
She-pick-berry, He-pen-sheeps wife.
SHORT SUN, the star orbited by the WHORL.
Patera SILK, the caldé of Viron at the time the colonists boarded
their landers, also called Caldé SILK.
SINEW, HORN and NETTLEs eldest son.
Sister, a small girl living with her brother in a forest northwest of
GAON.
Generalissimo Siyuf, the commander of the Ranis horde.
Skany, an inland town some distance from GAON.
Somvar, an advocate.
Captain Strik, a master mariner of Dorp.
Sun Street, a wide diagonal avenue in VIRON.
Tail, the southern end of LIZARD Island.
Tamarind, a fishmongers widow.
Tartaros, a major god of the LONG SUN WHORL, the god of
darkness and commerce, and the patron of thieves.
Thelxiepeia, a major goddess of the LONG SUN WHORL, the
goddess of learning, trickery, and magic.
Three Rivers, an inland town near NEW VIRON.
Tor, a rocky peak on LIZARD Island.
Trivigaunte, a desert city well south of VIRON.
Toter, Striks son.
Tuz, one of the travelers assembled in PAJAROCU.
Urbasecundus, a foreign town not far from NEW VIRON.
Vanished Gods, the gods of the NEIGHBORS.
Vanished People, the NEIGHBORS.
VIRON, the city of the LONG SUN WHORL in which SILK,
HORN, NETTLE, and many others were born, also called
Old Viron.
Vulpes, an advocate of the LONG SUN WHORL.
West Foot, the westernmost peninsula of LIZARD Island.
The WHORL, the generation ship from which the colonists
came.
Wichote, a riverine village on BLUEs eastern continent.
Captain WIJZER, a master mariner of Dorp.
Tksin, the traveler who robbed and deserted SINEW.
Zeehm, the daughter of the RAJANs head gardener.
To Every Town:
Like you we left friends and family and the light of the Long Sun for this new whorl we share with you. We would greet our brothers at home if we could.
We have long wished to do this. Is it not so for you?
He-hold-fire, a man of our town, has labored many seasons where our lander lifts high its head above our trees. The gray man speaks to He-hold-fire and to us, and it is his word that he will fly once again.
Soon he will rise upon fire and fly like the eagle.
We might clasp it to our bellies. That is not the way of hunters, and there are many beds of hide. Send a man to come with us. Send a woman, if it is your custom.
One alone from each town of this new whorl, whether he or she.
With us the one you send will return to our old home among the stars.
Send soon. Send one only. We will not delay.
Speak our word to others.The Men Of
PAJAROCU
It is worthless, this old pen case I brought from Viron. It is
nothing. You might go around the market all day and never
find a single spirit who would trade you a fresh egg for it. Yet it
holds...
Enough.
Yes, enough. I am sick of fancies.
At present it holds two quills, for I have taken the third one out.
Two were in it when I found it in the ashes of our shop. The third,
with which I am writing, was dropped by Oreb not so long ago. I
picked it up, put it in this pen case, and forgot both Oreb and his
feather.
It also holds a knife for pointing pens and the small bottle of
black ink (more than half full) into which I dip mine. See how much
darker my writing has become.
It is facts I needfacts I starve for. To Green with fancies!
My name is Horn.
This is such a pen case as students use in Viron, the city in
which I was born, and no doubt in many othersa case of black
leather glued over pressboard; it has a brass hinge with a steel
spring, and a little brass clamp to keep it shut. We sold them in our
shop and asked six cardbits; but my father would accept four if the
purchaser bargained awhile, and such purchasers always did.
Three, if they bought something else, a quire of writing paper,
say.
The leather is badly scuffed. More facts later, when I have more
time. Rajya Mantri wants to lecture me.
Reviewing what I wrote yesterday, I see that I have begun without
plan or foresight, and in fact without the least notion of what I was
trying to do or why I was trying to do it. That is how I have begun
everything in life. Perhaps I need to begin before I can think clearly
about the task. The chief thing is to begin, after allafter which
the chief thing is to finish. I have finished worse than I began, for
the most part.
It is all in the pen case. You have to take out the ink and string
it together into the right shapes. That is all.
If I had not picked up this old pen case where my fathers shop
once stood, it is possible that I might still be searching for Silk.
For the phantom who has eluded me on three whorls.
Silk may be here on Blue already, after all. I have dispatched letters
to Han and some other towns, and we will see. It is convenient, I
find, to have messengers at ones beck and call.
So I am searching here, although I am the only person here in
Gaon who could not tell you where to find him. Searching does
not necessarily imply movement. Thinking it does, or rather assuming
it without thought, may have been my first and worst mistake.
Thus I continue to search, true to my oath. I question travelers,
and I write new letters subtracting some facts and adding others,
composing flatteries and threats I hope will bring this town and
that to my assistance; no doubt my scribe thinks I am penning
another such letter at this moment, a letter that he, poor fellow,
will have to copy out with broad, fair flourishes upon sheepskins
scraped thin.
We need a paper mill here, and it is the only thing that I am
competent to do.
I wish Oreb were here.
Now that I know what I mean to do, I can begin. But not at the
beginning. To begin at the beginning would consume far too much
time and paper, to say nothing of ink. I am going to begin, when
I do, just a day or two before the moment at which I put to sea in
the sloop.
Tomorrow then, when I have had time to decide how best to
tell the convoluted tale of my long, vain search for Patera Silkfor
Silk my ideal, who was the augur of our manteion in the Sun Street
Quarter of Our Sacred City of Viron in the belly of the Whorl.
When I was young.
The mainshaft had splitI remember that. I was taking it out of
the journals when one of the twins ran in. I believe it was Hide.
A boats coming! A big boats coming!
I told him that they probably wanted to buy a few bales, and
that his mother could sell it to them as well as I could.
Sinews here, too.
Just to get rid of Hide, I told him to tell his mother about it.
When he had gone, I got my needier from its hiding place and
stuck it in my waistband under my greasy tunic.
Sinew was stamping up and down the beach, lovely shells of
purple, rose, and purest white snapping beneath his boots. He
looked surly when he saw me, so I told him to bring the good
telescope out of the sloop. He would have defied me if he had
possessed the courage. For half a minute we stood eye to eye; then
he turned and went. I thought he was leaving, that he would put
out for the mainland in his coracle and stay there for a week or a
month, which to tell the truth I wanted much more than my telescope.
The boat they came in was indeed large. I know I counted at
least a dozen sails. It carried a couple of jibs, three sails on each of
its big masts, and staysails. I had never seen a boat big enough to
set staysails between its masts before, so I am sure of those.
Sinew came back with the telescope. I asked whether he wanted
the first look, and he sneered at me. It was always a mistake to try
to treat him with any courtesy in those days, and I could have
kicked myself for it. I put the telescope to my eye, wondering what
Sinew was doing the second I could no longer watch him.
It was a good instrument, made in Dorp they said, where they
are good sailors and grind good lenses. (We were good sailors in
New Viron, tooor thought we werebut did not grind lenses at
all.) Through it I could see the faces at the gunwale, all looking
toward Tail Bay, for which their boat was plainly making. Its hull
was white above and black belowI recall that, too. Here on Blue
the sea is silver where it is not so dark a blue that it seems it might
dye cloth, not at all like Lake Limna at home where the waves were
nearly always green.
I had become used to Blues blue and silver sea long ago, of
course. Perhaps I only think of it now because we are so far from
it here in Gaon; but it seems to me, as I sit here to write at this
beautifully inlaid table the Gaonese have provided for me, that I
saw it then through the glass as though it were new, that there was
some magic carried in the big black and white boat that made Blue
new to me again. Perhaps there was, for boats are magicliving
things that ordinary men like me can shape from wood and iron.
Probably pirates, Sinew snarled.
I took my eye from the telescope and saw that he had his long,
steel-hilted hunting knife out and was testing its edge with his
thumb. Sinew could never sharpen a knife properly (Nettle did it
for him in those days), although he pretended he could; but for a
moment before I returned to my study of the boat, I wondered
whether he would not stab me and try to join them if pirates in
fact came again. Then I put my eye back to the telescope, and saw
that the faces at the gunwale included a womans, and that one of
the men was old Patera Remora. I should make it clear here that
he and Marrow were the only ones I knew well.
There were five besides Gyrfalcons sailors, who had been
brought along to work die boat. Perhaps I ought to list all five now
and describe them, since Netde may want to show diis to others.
You would do everything much better, darling, I know, working in
the descriptions cleverly as you did when we wrote The Book of Silk;
but it is a skill I have never possessed to die same degree.
No doubt you remember them better dian I, as well.
Gyrfalcon is fat, with busy eyes, a noble face, and a mop of sinknut-brown hair just starting to turn gray. It was his boat, and he let us know that the moment diat he came ashore. Do you remember?
Eschar is tall and stooped, with a long, sad face, slow to speak until his passions are roused. He was on our lander, of course, just as Marrow and Remora were.
The woman came later, perhaps on Gyrfalcons lander. Her name is Blazingstar. She has humor, as you do, a rare thing in a woman. I know you liked her, and so did I. She talked about her farms, so she must own at least two in addition to her trading company.
Marrow is large and solid, not so fat as he was at home, but balder even than I was then. When we were children, he owned a greengrocery as well as his fruit stall in the market. He still deals in vegetables and fruits mostly, I believe. I have never known him to cheat anyone, and he can be generous; but I would like to meet the man who can best him in a bargain. Marrow was the only one of the five who helped me after I was robbed in New Viron.
They were too many for our little house. Hoof and Hide and I
made a rude table on the beach, laying planks across boxes and
barrels and bales of paper. Sinew carried out all the chairs, I brought
the high and low stools I use in the mill, and you spread the planks
with cloths and set what little cheer we had before our uninvited
guests. And so we managed to entertain all five, and even Gyrfalcons
sailors, with some show of decency.
Marrow rapped the makeshift table, calling us to order. Our
sons and the sailors were sitting on the beach, nudging one another,
whispering, and tossing shells and pebbles into the silver waves. I
would have sent them all away if I could. It did not seem to be my
place to do so, and Marrow let them stay.
First let me thank you both for your hospitality, he began.
You owe us no favors, since we have come to ask you for a big
one
Gyrfalcon interrupted, saying, To grant you a privilege.
From the way he spoke, I felt sure that they had argued about this
already.
Marrow shrugged. I should have begun by explaining who we
are. You know our names now, and even though you live so far
from town, its likely that you also know were its five richest
citizens.
Remora cleared his throat. Not, um, so. Noahintent to,
um, contradict, but not, er, I.
Your Chapters got more gelt than any of us, Eschar remarked dryly.
Not mine, hey? Custodianumsolely. The sweet salt wind
ruffled his hair, making him look at once foolish and blessed.
Blazingstar spoke first to you, Nettle; then to me. We are the
five people who have jockeyed most successfully for money and
power, thats all. We wanted them, we five, and we got them. Now
here we are, begging you two to keep us from cutting our own
throats.
Not, um
Hell deny it, she told us, but its the gods
own truth just the same. Our money belongs to us, mine to me, Gyrfalcons to
him, and so on. Patera here is going to insist that his isnt really
his, that it belongs to the Chapter and he only takes care of it.
Brava! Quiteumah... Precisely the case.
But hes got it, and as Eschar said hes probably got more
than any of us. Hes got bravos, too, buckos to break heads for him
whenever he wants.
Stubbornly, Remora shook his own. There are many men of
ahhigh heart amongst the faithful. That I, um, concede.
However, weahnone
He doesnt have to pay his, Blazingstar explained. We pay
ours.
Eschar asked Remora, If it isnt so, what are you doing here?
Marrow rapped the table again. Thats who we are. Do you
understand now?
You looked at me then, Nettle darling, inviting me to speak;
but all I could think of to say was. I dont think so.
Marrow said, You dont know why were here, naturally. We
havent told you. That will come soon enough.
Gyrfalcon snapped, New Viron needs a caldé. Anybody can
see it.
You nodded then, Nettle darling. Its become a terrible
place.
Exactly. We came here to escape the Sun Street Quarter,
didnt we? The Sun Street Quarter and the Orilla. Gyrfalcon
chuckled. But we carried them with us.
It isnt just crime, Blazingstar declared, though theres
much too much of that. The wells are polluted and theres filth
everywhere.
Gyrfalcon chuckled again. Just like home.
Worse. Filth and flies. Rats. It isnt just that the people want
a caldé, though they do. We do. Were businesspeople at base, all
of us. Traders and merchants. Sharpers, if you like.
I mustah, Remora began.
All right, all except His Cognizance, who never hedges the
truth even a fingers width. Or so he says. Blazingstar gave Remora
a scornful smile. But the rest of us need to carry on our businesses,
and its become almost impossible to do that in New Viron.
Marrow added, And getting worse.
Getting worse. Exactly.
You asked, Cant one of you be caldé?
Gyrfalcon laughed aloud at that; he has a good, booming laugh.
Suppose one of us became caldé tomorrow. How about old
Marrow there? He wants it.
I feel sure it would be a wonderful improvement.
Marrow thanked you. For you and your family it would be,
Nettle. What do think it would be for them? He glanced around
at Gyrfalcon, Remora, Eschar, and Blazingstar.
An improvement, too, I think.
Not a bit of it. Marrow had rapped the table before; now he
struck it with his fist, rattling our mugs and plates. I would take
everything I could get. I would do my best to ruin them, and if
you ask me I would succeed. He smiled, and glanced around at
the woman and the three men I had believed were his friends.
They know it well, my dear. And, Nettle, they would do the same
to me.
Eschar told you, We need Caldé Silk here. I was the first to
suggest it.
Hes still in the Whorl, isnt he? And... I dont like to say
this.
Then I will. Blazingstar reached across the table we had
made to cover your hand with her own. He may be dead. I left
sixteen years ago, and by this time its certainly possible.
Hem! Remora cleared his throat. Theocracy, hey? I have
suggested it, but they will, er, wont. Not ifahme. But, um,
Patera Silk, eh? Yes. Yes, to that. Third party. Still an augur, eh?
Indelibleahconsecration. So, um. Modified? A mitigated
theocracy. We, um, two in concert. I concur.
Gryfalcon summed up, Its that or we fight, and a fight would
destroy the town, and all of us, too, in all probability. Show them
the letter, Marrow.
Hari Mau and I have formalized the court. Up until now, it seems,
litigants have simply done whatever they could to come before the
rajan (as their ruler was called at home) and made their cases.
Witnesses were or were not called, and so forth. We have set up a
systemtentative, of course, but it is a systemin a
situation in which any system at all will surely be an improvement. Unless
they choose otherwise, Nauvan will represent all the plaintiffs, and
Somvar all the defendants. It will be their duty to see that evidence,
witnesses, and so forth are present when I hear the case. In criminal
cases, I will assign one or the other to prosecute, depending.
I feel like Vulpes.
They will have to be paid, of course; but demanding fees from
both parties should encourage them to come to agreement, so that
may work out well. Besides, there will be fines. I wish I knew more
about our Vironese lawthese people dont seem to have had any.
Back to it.
I swore an oath, administered by Remora, with my left hand upon
the Chrasmologic Writings and my right extended to the Short Sun.
That is the part I wish very fervently that I could forget. I cannot
recall the exact wordsin all honesty, I am tormented more than
enough as it isbut I cannot forget what I swore to do, and not
one day passes without my conscience reminding me that I have
not done it.
No more letters. What farce!
But now, darling, I have been reconstructing our suppertime conversation
for several hours, exactly as you and I used to try to reconstruct
Silks when we were writing our book. The work has
rekindled many tender memories of those days; but you recall this
conversation better than I, I feel sure, and you can fill in the rest
for yourself. I am going to bed.
Three days in which I have had no chance to write in this sketchy half-book I have begun without Nettles help. I suppose it is no loss; she will never read it. Or if she does, she will have me at her side, and this account will be superfluous. Yet she may show it to others, as I said. Are not the people of our town entitled to know what became of the emissary they sent for Silk? Why and how he failed? Pigs blindness, and all the rest? I will proceed, if I do, upon the assumption that it will be read by strangers and perhaps even copied and recopied as our own bookthe book that ultimately brought me herehas been.
Our house and our mill stand on Lizard Island, as I should explain.
Lizard Island is called by that name because we, seeing it from the
lander, at once noted its resemblance to that animal; and not (as
some now suppose) because it was first settled by a man named
Lizard. No such person exists.
The head is more or less coffin-shaped. All four legs are extended,
and their rocky toes splayed. The sandspit that forms the
tail curves out to sea, then north, to shelter Tail Bay, which is where
we keep our logs. A lengthy ridge of granite gives the lizard a spine.
Its highest peak, near the tail, is called the Tor. The spring that
turns our mill originates there, giving us a long and very useful fall.
Our house is set back some distance from the sea, but the mill
stands with its feet in the bay to make it easier to hook and drag
out logs.
Let me see. What else?
The Lizards head looks to the north. Our mill and our house
are on the weather side of the island, their site dictated by the
stream. On the lee side is a fishing village that is also called Lizard;
it consists of six houses, those of our nearest neighbors. Lizard
Island lies well north of New Viron, a days sail in good weather.
That night, as I walked along the shingle, I recalled the whole island
as I had glimpsed it from the lander twenty years before. How small
it had appeared then, and how beautiful! A green and black lizard
motionless upon the blue and silver sea. It came to me then, with
a force that seemed to snatch away my heart, that if only we could
build an airship like General Sabas I might see it so again.
And be again, if only for an instant, young. What would I not
give to be the boy I was once more, with a young Nettle at my
side?
Time for court. More this evening, I hope.
A difficult case, and I must settle each case that comes before me
on the basis of custom and common sense, having no knowledge
of the law and no law booksnot that Vironese law would have
any force here.
I was leading up to my departure, and how Sinew came out to
speak with me as I walked back up the Tail, leaping from one floating
log to the next with energy and dexterity that I could only envy.
When he reached me, panting, he asked whether I was still thinking
of going. I told him that I no longer had to think about whether
I would gothat I had been thinking of how to go and what to
take with me, and when to leave.
He grinned, and actually rubbed his hands together like a shopkeeper.
I thought you would! I was thinking it over in bed. You
know how you do? All of a sudden I saw it didnt make sense to
wonder, even. Youd already decided, you were just trying to make
it easy for Mom and me. Want to know how I knew?
Because you saw me take the oath. So did everyone else, I
imagine. Promises meant very little to Sinew, as I had reason to
know; but I supposed that he understood how seriously I take mine.
You know Ive read your book?
I told him I knew he said he had.
When you and Mom were coming here, you were only doing
it because Silk had told you to. But when he didnt go, you went
anyway. I remembered that, and as soon as I did, I knew you were
really leaving.
This isnt the same thing at all.
Yes, it is. You were supposed to come here because some god
wanted it, that boss god in the Long Sun Whorl. The old Proloctor
and that witchy lady want you to bring him here, and thats
really it, not the maize or even needlers. Youre just the same here
as you were up there, just exactly like Mom is.
I shook my head. The principal thing is to find Silk and get
him to govern New Viron, assuming that hes still alive. The maize,
and the kinds of skills necessary to make glasses and needlers, as
well as many other things, are very important, though not central.
As for bringing Great Pas, no one so much as mentioned it. If
anyone had, he would have been laughed at. It would be much
more sensible to talk about bringing back Lake Limna.
But thats what it comes down to. Still grinning, Sinew
stepped closer, so close I could feel his breath on my face. Silk
got made a part of this Pas, didnt he? That girlfriend of Pass
invited him to.
I dont know that, and neither do you.
Well, he went off with the flying man and wouldnt let you
tag along. Thats what you and Mom said.
I shrugged. Thats what we wrote, because it was all we knew.
I dont know anything more now than I did when we wrote it.
Of course he did! You know he did. Who wouldnt? So if you bring
him, well have a boss whos the partner of this very powerful
god up there. You say you couldnt bring a god back, and naturally
you couldnt. But if this god Pas really is a god he could come here
anytime or go anyplace else.
I said nothing.
You know Im right. Are you taking the sloop? Well have to
build another one if you do. The old boat never was big enough.
Yes, I said.
See, youre going. I knew you were. What are you going to
say at breakfast? Raise your hands?
I sighed, having only a moment before definitely deciding to
take the sloop. I had intended to ask each of you individually what
I ought to do, beginning with Hide and ending with your mother.
I hoped that all of you would have concluded by that time that I
must go as I promised, as I have, no matter how badly Im needed
here. I turned away with a feeling of relief, and resumed my walk
along the Tail.
He loped beside me like an ill-bred dog. What if she said you
had to stay?
She wouldnt, and I was hoping that none of you would. But
if any of you did, I was going to explain myself again to that person
and try to persuade him. I say him because it would surely be
Hide or Hoof or you. Not Nettle.
I saw his pleasure by starlight. I like it. Mom can go live with
Aunt Hop. Me and the sprats can take care of things here.
Your mother will stay right here to take care of things, including
you. Youll have to run the mill and make any repairs. Shell
handle most of the buying and selling, I imagine, if you and she
are wise.
For a moment I thought that he would object violently, but he
did not.
You know the machinery and the process, I told him, or
at least youve had ample opportunity to learn them. The bleach
weve got should last you six months or more, if youre careful,
and I hope to be back before then. Dont waste it. Be careful about
extending credit, too, and doubly careful about refusing to extend it. Never
buy a log you havent seen, or rags that you havent handled.
I laughed, pretending a warmth of feeling that I did not feel. It cost
me a lot to learn that, but Im giving it to you for nothing.
Father...?
If theres anything you need to know about the mill or the
various papers we make, ask me now. There wont be time in the
morning.
Together we walked back to the tip of the Tail, where I had
given my oath, until we stood at last at the place where soil and
stone vanished altogether and the last of the coarse seagroats with
them, and there was only sand and shells, with here and there a
stick of driftwood cast up by the unresting waves. At last I took out
my needier and offered it to him, telling him that there were only
fifty-three needles left in it, and that he would be wise not to waste
any.
He would not accept it. Youll need it yourself, Father, traveling
toto...
Pajarocu. Its a town, but nobody seems to know where it is.
Inland, perhaps, though I hope not. They say that theyve refitted
a lander there so they can cross the abyss to the Whorl again, and
theyve invited New Viron to send a passenger.
You.
I knew Silk better than anybody else. Honesty compelled me
to add, Except for Maytera Marble, Magnesia as shes called now.
I offered him my needier again.
Keep it, I said. Youll need it.
And Maytera Marble is unable to make the journey, they say.
She was already very old when we came, twenty years ago. For a
few seconds I tried to frame an argument; then I recalled that no
argument of mine had ever changed his mind, and said, If you
dont take this now, Im going to throw it into the sea.
I cocked my arm as though to make good my threat, and he
was on me like a snow cat, clawing for the needier. I let him take
it, stood up, and brushed off sand. When it isnt on my person,
Ive kept it in the mill. Since you boys never go in there unless
youre made to, it seemed safe. It has been. You might want to do
the same thing. You wouldnt want Hoof and Hide to get hold
of it.
He frowned. Thats good. I will.
I could have shown him how a needier is loaded and fired, but
experience had taught me that trying to teach him anything only
made him resentful. Instead, I said, I may need it, as you say. But
I may not, and Id much rather know that you and your mother
and brothers are safe. Besides, a traveler with a weapon like that
might be killed for it, as soon as anyone knew he had it.
Sinew nodded thoughtfully.
Conjunction in two years. You remember the last one, the
storms and the tides. Any logs youve got in here then will be a
danger to you. And of course there will be I searched for a
word. Strangers. Visitors. Very plausible ones, sometimes.
The reality of conjunction seemed to dawn upon him then.
Dont go, Father!
I must. Not just because Ive sworn to; I wouldnt be the first
man to break his oath. And certainly not because of Marrow and
the othersId hurt them far more than they hurt me before it was
overbut because I couldnt live with myself if I didnt. You and
your mother can run the mill as well as I could, and nobody else
would have anything like as good a chance of persuading Silk to
join us. At supper tonight we agreed that we were sinking into
savagery here on Blue, that wed soon be fighting off the inhumi
with the bows and spears we use for hunting now. You may be
confident that we could survive as savages and.even regain what we
lost, eventually. No doubt
The stubborn head shake I had come to know so well.
I dont think so either. There were people here before, or
something very like people. They had a civilization higher than ours,
but something wiped them out. If it wasnt the inhumi, what
was it?
Thats another thing I wanted to talk to you about. There
was a pause, perhaps while Sinew collected his thoughts, perhaps
only while he moistened his mouth. Youre trying to bring Pas,
all the gods from the Long Sun.
No, I said.
He ignored it, or did not hear it. Thats good, because gods
could help us if they would. But they had gods of their own, the
Vanished People who were here first. They might help us, too.
Theres a place on Main, way up on Howling Mountain a little
before the trees stop. I found it almost a year ago. Maybe I should
have told you.
I see that I said I had three reasons for not accompanying our five
visitors as they proposed. The first (as I indicated) was that I wanted
to take leave of my family, and get them to agree to my going,
insofar as possible. Nettle would agree because she loved me and
Sinew because he hated me, I felt sure; and with their support I
had hoped to persuade the twins that it was necessary.
The second was that I wanted to sail my own boat in search of
Pajarocu, and not the boat Marrow had offered to let me have,
however good it might be. I did not intend to disparage his offer,
as he may have thought; it was a generous one, and one that would
have resulted in a serious loss if I had accepted it. He showed me
that boat, the Sealily, when I spoke with him in town, and I would
guess that it was nearly as fast as my own, and rather more capacious
and seaworthy.
Id never been on the water till we came down here, Marrow
told me, and I havent been but twice now. If youd come by the
shop or my booth and told me someday Id be having boats built
for me, Id have thought you was cracked. I thought Auk the
Prophet was cracked when I talked to him up there, and it would
have been the same with anybody who said someday Id want boats.
You didnt put that in your book, about Auk. That Id thought he
was cracked as old eggs. But I did.
I told Marrow that Auk was, that he had fractured his skull in
the tunnels.
Used to see him at sacrifice, Marrow said, leaning heavily on
his big carved stick. Old Patera Pikes manteion. The wife and I
used to go now and then because he traded with us, him and the
sibyls. Maytera Rose that was, and young Maytera Mint, only they
sent Maytera Marble to do their buying. Shrike wouldnt go, just
sent his wife. They traded with him anyhow because she went all
the time. Gone now, both of em. I guess you remember Pikes
manteion?
I did. I do. The plain shiprock walls, and the painted statue of
Lord Pas (from which the paint was peeling) will remain with me
until the day I die, always somewhat colored by the wonder I felt
as a small boy at seeing a black cock struggling in the old mans
hands after he had cut its throat, its wings beating frantically,
beating as if they might live after all, live somehow somewhere, if only
they could spray the whole place with blood before they failed.
My own bird has flown. Only this lone black feather remains
with me, fluttering above this sheet (a sheet that for all I know or
all that anyone here knows may have been made in my own mill)
spraying the whorl of Blue with the black ink that has done so much
good and so much harm. If it had not been for our book, Marrow
and the rest would have chosen someone else, beyond argument. As it was, our
bookThe Book of Silk, or as others would have it, The Book
of the Long Sunspread over this whorl more rapidly than
Nettle and I had dared hope. Silk
Silk has become an almost mythic figure, I began to write. The
truth is that he has become a mythic figure. I hear rumors of altars
and sacrifices. Disciples who have never seen him promulgate his
teachings. If it had not been for our book, Hari Mau and the rest
would have chosen someone else, or no one.
Heretofore I have written whatever crossed my mind, I fear. In the
future, I will attempt to provide you (whoever you may be) with a
connected narrative. Let me say at the outset, however, what readers
I hope for.
First of all for Nettle, my wife, whom I have loved from boy-
hood and will always love.
Second, my sons Hoof and Hide. Should he see it, Sinew will
read no further, I suppose, than he must to learn that I am its
author; and then, unless he is greatly changed, he will burn it. Burning
The Book of Horn will smell foul, but if it is to burn, no whiff
has yet reached me. Sinew is on Green in any event, and is unlikely
to see it. (For so many years I feared that he would try to murder
me, but in the end it was I who would have murdered him. He
may burn my book if he chooses.)
Third, our descendants, the sons and daughters of our sons and
their children. If a dozen generations have passed, be assured that
you are one; after a dozen generations it cannot be otherwise.
How difficult it is to touch the spirits of these people, although I
doubt that they are worse than others. Two farmers quarreled over
a strip of land. I rode out with them and saw it, and it is of no
value save for cutting firewood, and of little for that. Each said he
had claimed it since landing, and each said his claim was undisputed
until a few months ago. I had each tell me the price he would
charge the other to lease it for ten years, then awarded it to the
one who would charge the least, and ordered him to lease it, there
and then, for the price he had specified. Since the leaseholders price
had been more than twice as much, he was getting a great bargain,
and I told him so. He did not appear to agree.
This is a stopgap at best, however. The whole situation regarding
the ownership of land is confused or worse. It must be reformed,
and a rational system as secure from corruption as we can
make it set in place.
That I intend to do. My principles: that possession long unchallenged
need only be recorded, but that unused property is the
property of the town. Now to begin.
I have already given more than I should of our conversation at
supper. I will say nothing more about it, although when I close my
eyes and lean back in this chair it seems that I smell the brown rolls,
fresh from the oven, see the honey dyeing with dark gold its earthenware
dish, and taste a vanished summer in the wine. I cut our
meat that night, and ate as I had for years, yet if I had known then
what I know nowif I had let my imagination carry me forward
beyond the next few daysI would have clasped my wife to me,
embracing her until it was time to go.
She will have found another husband by this time, I hope. A
good man. She was always a sensible woman. (Which is, now that
I come to think of it, what His Cognizance the inhumu used to
say of Molybdenum.) I wish both well, and wish him better luck
with Hoof and Hide than I had with Sinew.
He was my right hand in the lander, as well as on Green, and
he threw me his knife. I see I have not yet written of that.
Before I left he begged me not to go, exactly as I had predicted
at dinner. He was shocked, I believe, that I was going to leave that
night while Nettle and the twins slept; and to confess the truth, so
was I. I had not intended to go until morning.
Have I said how closely Sinew resembled me? Perhaps not.
There was something devilish about it. The twins, with their large
eyes and too-regular features, resemble Nettles mother, or so I
have always thought, while Nettle herself resembles her father. But
Sinew looks as I did when we left Main and built the mill. We lived
in a tent on the beach in those days, and he was only a squalling
toddler, although he had already taken her from me to a certain
extent. The twins had not been born, or even thought of.
I left that night, not so much when Sinew and I had finished talking
as when I was tired of his talking to me. I took little with me; even
then I was not under the illusion that I would be welcomed back
to the whorl I had left, or provided with any sort of transport. If I
had known then how long it would be before I set foot in the whorl
in which I was born, I would have taken more, perhaps, although
so much was stolen as it was, and I was able to bring precious little
beyond my two knives from Pajarocu, and nothing at all from
Green, not even Seawracks ring.
I brought two changes of clothing, and a warm blanket.
A copy of our book, which I meant to read during calms and
the like, not so much to relearn the facts we had set down as to
gently persuade my memory to dwell upon our conversations, and
the conversations I had with Nettle, Moly, and others about him.
You that read will not credit it, but I do not believe I have forgotten
anything that Nettle and I put into our book, or that I ever will.
Three bales of our best white paper to trade, and some other
valuables I hoped might be exchanged for food.
I had been afraid that Sinew would wake up the rest of the
family, that he would wake Nettle, particularly, and that seeing her
I would lack the resolution to go. He did not, but stood upon our
littie floating wharf and waved (which rather surprised me) and
then, when the distance seemed too great to throw anything and
score a hit, flung something that missed my head by half a cubit
and dropped rattling into the boat.
That, too, surprised me; but nothing could have been more
like him than to try to hurt me in some way when I could not
defend myself; and it soon occurred to me that he could have drawn
my needier and killed me. It was my humiliation he intended; however
much he may have wanted to kill me, he would not have dared
to shoot. A stone or a shell (I thought) had served his purpose
better.
When I had rounded the Tail and could safely tie the sheet, I
groped in the bilgewater to find out what his missile had been; there
I found his hunting knife, next to his bow his most prized possession,
still in the turtle-skin sheath he had made for it. In his own
mind at least he had squared accounts, I felt sure; it is onerous to
be indebted to someone you hate.
There would be no point in describing my trip down the coast
to New Viron in detail. It had been foolhardy of me to leave when
I did, but no harm came of it. Until shadeup, I kept the sloop under
short sail and dozed at her tiller, not yet having confidence enough
to tie it in position and lie down, as I was later to do almost
routinely, though from time to time I toyed with the notion of furling
both sails and snatching a few hours of real sleep. Mostly I looked
at the stars, just as I had before Sinew joined me on the Tail. The
Long Sun Whorl in which Nettle and I were born was only a faint
gleam when it could be seen at all. For that faint speck I was bound
(as I imagined then) in a lander that had somehow been repaired
and resurrected. I could not help thinking how much more I would
have liked to sail there. Before shadeup, the Long Sun Whorl would
touch the sea in the southwest; why should I not sail to meet it? It
was an attractive idea, and when I was sleepy enough seemed almost
possible.
Once some monstrous, luminous creature four or five times the
size of the sloop glided beneath it, for there are fish in the sea that
could swallow the great fish that swallowed Silks poor friend Mamelta,
as everyone knows; but although the loss of boats that fail
to return is conventionally laid to them, I think carelessness and
weather are the true culprits in almost every instance. I do not deny
that they can sink boats much bigger than my old sloop, or that
they occasionally do.
At one moment it was night. At the next, day.
That was how it seemed to me. I had slept, leaning on the
tiller, and not wakened until the light of our Short Sun struck me
full in the face.
There were bottles of water (mixed with a little wine to keep
it sweet) in one of the chests, and a box of sand for a fire aft of the
mast. I baited a hook with a morsel of dried meat and fished for
my breakfast, which was my lunch by the time I caught it. If I had
not hung Sinews hunting knife on my belt, I would have split and
gutted it with the worn little pocketknife that came with me from
Old Viron. As it was, I used his, vaguely conscious that he might
ask if it had been helpful someday and wanting to tell him that it
had been; gestures like that had become a habit, however futile. It
was a good knife, made here on Blue by Gadwall the smith from a
single bar of steel which supplied the blade, the stubby guard, and
the grip. I remember noticing how sharp it was, and realizing that
the bulbous pommel might be almost as useful for pounding as the
blade for cutting. I have Hyacinths azoth now (locked away and
well hidden); but I would almost rather have Sinews knife back, if
he would give it a second time.
Here in landlocked Gaon, people would think it queer that we
who came from a city so remote from any sea that we had scarcely
heard rumors of them should build our new town on the coast. But
Viron had been a lakeshore city in the beginning, and it was Lake
Limna that left Viron, and not Viron that had left the lake. When
we landed here, it seemed natural to us to direct our lander to the
shore of our bay, since we thought the water we saw was potable
and might be used for irrigation. We were disappointed, of course.
But the sea has given us food in abundancemuch more, I believe,
than even a large lake could have supplied. Even more important,
it has been better than the best road for us, letting us move
ourselves and our goods faster and better than pack mules or wagons
ever could. Gaon is greatly blessed by its cold, clear River Nadi; but
I do not believe New Viron would exchange the sea for it.
When Nettle and I decided to build our mill, after trying farming
without much success, it was obvious that we would have to
have a location to which logs could be floated. We tramped up and
down the coast in search of a suitable spot until at last it occurred
to me that we would never find it as long as we searched by land
for a place to which logs could be floated by sea. That was when I
built our first boat, a sort of pointed box with one ludicrously short
mast and a tendency to drift off to leeward that would have been
quite funny if it had not been so serious. Eventually Tamarind,
whose husband had been a fishmonger and knew something of fishermen
and their boats in consequence, showed me how to rig a
leeboard that could be dropped when necessary and pulled up for
shallows. After that, with a taller mast stepped farther forward, we
used that boxy little boat for years.
From it, we first landed on Lizard. There was a fishing village
there already (if four very modest cottages make a village) at the
back of East Bay, which was far from the best part of the island to
our way of thinking. We claimed the Tor and everything west of it,
with the Prolocutors support; and since nobody else wanted it, we
made our claim good. The land is sparse and sandy (except for our
garden, where the soil has been improved with kitchen waste); but
there is the Tor with its spring, which gives us water to drink and
turns our mill, and Tail Bay, more than half enclosed by the Tail,
to which the woodcutters bring the logs we need.
I can see everything as I write. I believe that I could draw a
good map of it on this paper now, showing where the house and
mill stand, the Tor, the West Foot, and the rest of it; but what
good would such a map be? No matter how accurate, it could not
take me there.
It has been a good place for us, with plenty of space for barking
and chipping the logs we haul out with block and tackle, although
it is somewhat dangerous because it is so remote. I must not forget
that the twins are older now. Between birth and twenty, a year is
an immensity.
Not long after I finished my fish, the sun was squarely overhead. I
have never become completely accustomed to a sun that moves
across the sky. We speak here of the Long Sun we left and this
Short Sun to which we have come; but it seems to me that the
difference implied by the change of shape is small, while the
difference between this sun which moves and that one which does not
is profound. At home, that part of the sun that was directly overhead
always appeared brightest; to east and west it was less bright,
and the farther you looked the dimmer it became. At noon, the sun
here does not look very different; but the Long Sun is fixed, and
seems to speak of the immortality of the human spirit. This Short
Sun is well named; it speaks daily of the transitory nature of all it
sees, drawing for us the pattern of human life, fair at first and
growing ever stronger so that we cannot help believing it will continue
as it began; but losing strength from the moment it is strongest.
To do nothing is a talent, one I have not got. I have known
a few people who possessed it to a superlative degree, as one
of my scribes here does. They can, if they wish, sit or even stand
for hours without occupation and without thought. Their eyes are
open and they see the whorl before them, but see it only as the
eyes of potatoes do.
I have found a kind of paint that will stick to the lens of my glasses.
It may be no great relief to those to whom I speakthey swear it
is notbut it is to me. Returning to this airy bedroom tonight, I
admired my reflection like a girl.
When I wrote last, it was about my wish that Silk had come with
us, as he had intended to do. How I wish now that I could have
brought him with me to Gaon! But I was describing that terrible
night on the sloop.
As for the gods that Sinew proposed on the night that I left Lizard,
the original gods of this whorl of Blue, I asked myself then how
much power they can have possessed, and whether they would not
have saved at least a few of their worshippers if they could. I know
better now, of course.
Now I must ready myself to cut the throat of a stonebuck for
Echidna, and prepare my homily.
I see that I have mentioned my prayer on the sloop without saying
anything substantive about it.
He would meet us at the lander, he had said, if he could; he had
not met us there. Latecomers such as Blazingstar had reported that
he was still caldé when they had left Viron; but even their
information was years out of date. There had been Trivigaunti troopers
in the tunnels, and it seemed probable to me then (I mean then,
on the sloop) that they had captured him when he had tried to
rejoin us. If so, it seemed likely that Generalissimo Siyuf would soon
have restored him as caldé, subject to her orders. That would
account for the latecomers reports, and in that case he might be
governing Viron still, with every decision he made dictated by some
cruel and arrogant Trivigaunti general.
Very busy the last few days, busy until I was at length forced to put
off all the others who desired to speak with me or desired to do it
again, telling them that I required rest and prayer (which was true
enough) and that my subordinates would hear their protestations,
weigh their proofs, and decide matters. And telling my subordinates
in turn that I trusted their judgment (which is not entirely false)
and would support their decisions as long as they played no favorites
and took no bribes.
The Marrow I had known as a boy had been portly in the best
sense, a fat man whose bulk promised strength and gave him
a certain air of command. He was no longer steady on his legs, and
limped along (as Silk once had) with the help of a stick; his face
was lined, and such hair as remained to him was white. Yet I could
tell him quite truthfully that he had scarcely changed since we had
fought the Trivigauntis in the tunnels together. He was fat still,
though somewhat less energetic than he had once been; and the air
of command had become a settled fact.
On Green, I met a man who could not see the inhumi. They were
there, but his mind would not accept them. You might say that his
sight recoiled in horror from them. In just the same way, my own
interior sight refuses to focus upon matters I find agonizing. In
Ermines I dreamed that I had killed Silk. Is it possible that I actually
tried once, firing Nettles needier at him when he disappeared
into the mist? Or that I did not really give him mine?
When I had refitted I put out, sailing south along the coast, looking
for something that had been described to me as a rock with a
haystack on it.
I slept aboard the sloop, as you may imagine, and so was able to
get under way at shadeup. There is no better breakfast than one
eaten on a boat with a breeze strong enough to make her heel a
trifle. Most of Marrows promised provisions had arrived before I
finished refitting, and I had purchased a few things in addition; I
dined on ham, fresh bread and butter, and apples, drank water
mixed with wine, and told myself with perfect truth that I had never
eaten a better meal.
Three days since I wrote that last. Not because I have been too
busy (although I have been busy) and not because I did not wish
to write, but because there was no more ink. Ink, it seems, is not
made here, or I should say was not. It was an article of trade that
you bought in the market when it appeared there if you wanted it,
and hoarded against the coming shortage. It had not appeared in
the market for a long time, my clerks had very little and most other
peoplepeople who wrote, that is to say, or kept accountsnone.
Nettle and I had made our own, being unable to find any in New
Viron, and I saw no reason why ink should not be made here.
There was a tiny inlet on the southeast side of Mucors Rock that
gave excellent shelter. I tied up there and climbed the steep path
to the top carrying a side of bacon and a sack of cornmeal. She did
not recognize me, as far as I could judge. To set down the truth,
I did not know her either until I looked into her eyes, the same
dead, dull eyes that I recalled. The witch had been described to me
as being very thin. She was, but not as thin as she had been in the
Caldés Palace and on the lander afterwardnot as thin as
the truly skeletal young woman I recalled.
There is no point in recounting here how I caught a fish and carried
it up that steep and weary path in a bucket, or how we built a small
fire for it on the altar, lighting it from the one inside, before which
Mucor sat motionless while the young hus munched her apple.
Now I must get to bed, and there is really nothing more to record.
Although Maytera urged me to spend the night in their hut, I slept
on the sloop, very tired but troubled all night by dreams in which
I sailed on and on, braving storm after storm, without ever sighting
land.
It is very late. My palace is asleep, but I cannot sleep. Earlier I was
yawning over this account. If I write a little bit more, perhaps it
will make me sleepy again.
The next morning I found Mucor and Maytera Marble enjoying
the sunshine in front of their hut. At the sound of my
steps, Maytera blessed me as she used to bless our class at the
beginning of each day at the palaestra, recommending us to the god
of the day. Mucor, to my astonishment, actually said, Good
morning.
Nearly noon, although I am writing by lamplight. Gusts that would
lay the sloop on her beam ends rock my cracker-box palace, whistling
through every lattice and shutter. Green was bigger than a
mans thumb last night when it rose over the willow in the garden,
and I was reminded that my people here call it the Devils Lantern.
Seeing it, I thought only of the inhumi, and not of the storms and
the tides, which I in my folly imagined would mean nothing to us
in this inland place. I needed a good lesson, and I am getting it,
and the whole unhappy town of Gaon with me. Between gusts, I
hear my elephant trumpeting in his stall.
I see that when I described my departure from Mucors Rock 1
never actually mentioned that Babbie came on board, his black
snout and little red eyes breaking water just aft of the rudder, and
his stubby forepaws clutching the gunwale beside me in a way that
reminded me unpleasantly of the leatherskin. Hus can swim like
rainbow-frogs, as Sinew and everyone else who has ever hunted
them attests, and certainly Babbie could.
An inhuma was caught last night, and today I was forced to watch
as she was buried alive. There is no trial for these monsters, and
understandably sowe burn them in New Vironbut I could not
help wishing it were otherwise; I would like to have granted her a
death less horrible. As things are, I had to preside over the customary
means of extermination. One of the big, flat paving stones was
lifted in the marketplace and set aside, and her grave dug where it
had lain. Into that grave she was forced, though she pled and
fought. Five men with long poles pinned her there until a cartload
of gravel could be dumped on top of her. Dirt was shoveled on top
of the gravel, and at last the stone was returned to its place and a
symbol, too awful to describe, was cut into it so that no one will
aig there again.
Back in New Viron, Marrow had been told of a trader named Wijzer
who knew the way to Pajarocu. We found him on his boat (which
was four times the length of mine, and five times the width) and
Marrow invited him to his house.
How long ago it seems! So much has happened since then,
although at times I almost feel that it happened to someone else.
Some people have accused Nettle and me of penning a work of
fiction; and even though that is a slander, we did present certain
imagined conversations when we knew roughly what had been said
and what had been decidedthat among Generalissimo Oosik,
General Mint, Councilor Potto, and Generalissimo Siyuf, for example.
We knew how each of the four talked, and what the upshot
of their talk had been, and ventured to supply details to show each
at his or her most characteristic.
It is very late, yet I feel I must write a little tonight, must continue
this narrative I have not touched for three days or abandon it altogether.
How odd to come to it by lamplight and read that I went to sleep
instead of putting out from New Viron. I was so confident
then that the lander at Pajarocu would fly as soon as it was ready,
that it would return to the Whorl as promised, and that I would be
on it if only I arrived in time. I was a child, and Marrow and the
rest (whom I thought men and women as I thought myself a man
grown), were only older children who risked far less.
The storms are worse. There was a bad one today, though it is
nearly spent as my clocks hands close. Almost all our date palms
are gone, they say, and we will miss them terribly. I must remember
to find out how long a seedling must grow before it bears. Twelve
years? Let us hope it is not as long as that. The people are apprehensive,
even the troopers of my bodyguard. Tonight I gathered
some around me while the storm raged outside.
Would it be effective for us to dig up one of the recent inhumations
and release him to warn the others? The thought recurs.
Last night I intended to continue my narrative, but failed to
advance it by even a fingers width. I will do better this afternoon.
A visitor has presented me with a great rarity, a little book called
The Healing Beds printed more than a hundred years ago in the
Whorl. It is a treatise on gardening, with special emphasis on herbs,
the work of a physician; but although it is pleasant to page through
it, studying its quaint hand-colored illustrations and reading
snatches of text, it is not of that book I intend to write today, but
of its effect on this one.
[Needless to say, we are making the greatest efforts to preserve this
record, both by the care we take in printing and conserving individual
copies and by disseminating it.Hoof and Hide, Daisy and
Vadsig.]
I wish that one of the first people to settle the Long Sun Whorl
had left us a record of it. Perhaps one did, a record preserved now
in some skyland city far from Viron. That book, or a copy of it,
may have been brought here already if it exists, as I sincerely hope
it does.
When I recall our sail up the coast, which seemed so idyllic as far
as I have yet described it, I am struck by the speed with which so
many new towns have sprung up here on Blue. The people on each
lander have tended to settle near the place where they landed, since
their lander could not be moved again once they had pillaged it,
and it still constituted an essential source of supplies. In addition
to which, they had no horses or boats, and would have had to walk
to their new destination. Thus we built New Viron within an hours
walk of the lander in which we arrived, and I am sure the people
on other landers acted much as we did, save for those who landed
too near us and have been forced into servitude by their captors;
like us, they would have had little choice.
In my last session I intended to write about the settling of Blue,
but I see that I wandered from the topic to describe this town of
Gaon.
The pirate boat came from no town, but from a little freshwater
inlet where drooping limbs had concealed it from me until it put
out. I shall never forget how it looked then, so black against the
warm green of the trees and the cool blue and silver sea. Hull and
masts and yards had all been painted black, and its sails were so
dark a brown that they were nearly black, too. When I think back
upon it here at my bedroom writing table, now that I am no longer
afraid of it, I realize that its owners must have expected someone
to hunt it, and wanted it to vanish from sight the moment the sun
went down. It was half the sloops beam, or a trifle less, and must
have been more than twice our length, with two masts carrying
three-cornered sails so big that a good gust should have laid it over
at once. There were eight or nine on board, I think, mostly women.
One in the bow shouted for me to haul down. I got out the
slug gun Marrow had given me instead, loaded it, and put extra
cartridges in my pocket.
Once, when Seawrack and I were on the riverbank, I felt that there
were three of us. Haifa dozen speculations raced through my mind,
of which the most obvious and convincing were that Mucor was
accompanying us without revealing the fact, or that Krait had left
the sloop and was shadowing us for some purpose of his own. The
most fantasticI am embarrassed at having to set it down here and
confess that at the time I actually came close to giving it serious
credencewas that the shaman whose help we had tried to enlist
the previous night had put an invisible devil upon our track, something
he had boasted of having done to others. After an hour or
more of this uneasiness, I realized that the third person I sensed
was merely Babbie, whom I had by a species of mental misstep
ceased to consider an animal.
Nothing more happened that night, or at least nothing more worth
recounting in detail. Certainly Babbie and I listened for hours, and
when I think back upon that time it seems to me that we must have
listened half the night. Sometime before dawn it ceased, not fading
away but simply ending, as if the singer had come to the conclusion
of her song and stopped. The light airs that had been moving us
ever more slowly through the weed died out altogether at about
the same time, leaving the sloop turning lazily this way and that
without enough way to make her answer the helm. I sat up with
Babbie until shadeup, as I had planned, then stretched myself out
for most of the morning under the foredeck. Babbie slept too (or
so I would guess), but slept so lightly that the sloop could hardly
have been said to have been unwatched.
I got a bad fright today. I was to sacrifice an elephant in the temple,
this at the urging of the priests, who seem to feel that a large and
valuable animal will provide better omens than a sheep or goat.
Seeing me await it with the sacred sword in my hand, the elephant
appeared to understand what we had intended, and broke free from
its weeping trainer, trumpeting and flailing its trunks like muscular
whips. I stood as still as any statue when it charged, knowing that
to move would be to die. It knocked me down and did a great deal
of damage before it could be brought under control again, and I
find that I am being hailed as a man of superhuman courage; but
I trembled and wept like a little child when I was alone.
Ambassadors from a distant town arrived today. It is called
Skany, or at least that is as close as I can come to the name.
Its ambassadors are three gray-bearded men, dignified and grave
but not humorless, who rode mules and were accompanied by thirty
or forty armed servants on foot. They had been told that Silk was
here, ruling Gaon, and wished to invite me to rule Skany as well.
The people of Skany had been able to leave the Long Sun Whorl
only because a wealthy man of their native city had supplied several
hundred cards and other valuable parts to repair a lander for them.
He did so on the condition that he would be permitted to claim a
very extensive tract of land, whose size was agreed upon in advance,
to be selected by him. (He was, I believe, one of the three ambassadors,
although at no time did they allude to it.) This was done.
Too often I have merely glanced at the last sheet before I began to
write, and taken up my narration, as I believed, from the point at
which I left it the day before. Or as has sometimes happened, from
the week before. Today I have read everything I have written already
about Seawrack, growing sicker and sicker as I came to appreciate my
own failure. I am going to start over.
This is what I think, not what I know:
It has been a long while since I wrote last. How long I am not
sure. I went to Skany as its ambassadors asked, and remained there
most of the summer. Now I have returned to this fine, airy house
my people here have built for me, which they enlarged while I was
gone. The west wing was torn to pieces by a storm, they tell me;
but they have rebuilt it and made it larger and stronger, so that I
walk there among rooms that seem familiar and feel that I have
shrunk.
I see that before I left for Skany, that glorious, corrupt town, I
wrote of how Seawrack and I slept in the cubby of the sloop, with
Babbie sleeping too at our feet, or at least at times pretending to
sleep so that he could be in our company; and I said that we did
not sleep long.
Something climbed into our sloop that night that was neither a
beast nor a man, and was not a thing of the sea nor a thing of the
land, nor even a thing of the air like the inhumi. I hesitated to write
of it, because I know that it will not be believed; after thinking it
over, I understand that I must. How many travelers tales, although
full of wise advice and the soundest information, have been cast
aside because among their thousands of lines there were two or
three that their readers could not be brought to believe?
In the light airs that were all we had that day, the other boat took
hours to reach us. I had ample time to break out my slug gun and
load it, and to put a few more cartridges in my pockets.
Two days have passed, and now I have re-read this whole section
beginning with my encounter with the monstrous flatfish with disgust
and incredulity. Nothing that I wanted to say in it was actually
said. Seawracks beauty and the golden days we spent aboard the
sloop before Krait came, the water whorl that with her help I
glimpsed, and a thousand things that I wished with all my heart to
set down here, remain locked in memory.
Seawrack sings in my ears still, as she used to sing to me alone in
the evenings on our sloop. SometimesoftenI imagine that I am
actually hearing her, her song and the lapping of the little waves. I
would think that a memory so often repeated would lose its poignancy,
but it is sharper at each return. When I first came here, I
used to fall asleep listening to her; now her song keeps me from
sleeping, calling to me.
As we cast off from Striks boat, Seawrack said, That was
nice. I wish we saw more boats. The clear liquor had
brought spots of color to her cheeks, and a dreamy smile I found
enchanting to her lips. I explained (I can never forget it) that the
sea was immense, and that there were only a handful of towns along
the coast from which boats might come.
It is better to have no cards in a town in which no one steals than
to have a case of cards in a town full of thieves. I must remember
that, and tell them so as soon as a suitable occasion arises. An honest
person in an honest town can gain a case full of cards by honest
means, and enjoy it when he has it. In a town of thieves, cards must
be guarded night and day; and when the cards are gone, as they
will be sooner or later, the thieves will remain.
Looking over what I wrote last night, I see I strayed from my topic,
as I too often do. I meant to say (I believe) that the man who called
me a minor god meant that I am always right, when he ought to
have meant that I always try to do what is right. What else can the
distinction between a minor god and a major devil be?
When I wrote last night I lacked the energy to say all that I had
intended, which was a good deal. Regarding what I set down with
detachment this morning, I can see that most of it was not worth
the labor. My readersshould persons so singular ever existcan
speculate for themselves, and their speculations may be better than
mine. What I came near to saying, and should have said because it
is important and true, was that we on Blue had very little knowledge
of the nature and abilities of the inhumi. Raided, we could not
retaliate, and although they clearly knew a great deal about us, we
knew next to nothing about them. They came from Green. They
could fly, could speak as we did, and could counterfeit us. They
were strong, swam well, drank our blood, and usually (but not always)
fought without weapons, although they preferred stealth and
deception to fighting. Few people on Blue knew more than that,
and many did not know that much.
My advisors, who are all good, well-intentioned men, are forever
suggesting that I get down to business, although they never phrase
it quite so baldly. If action must be taken, they want it taken now,
immediately. Sinew was like that, too. When I decided that we
ought to build a new boat, he wanted to lay the keel that very day,
and would have been happy, I am sure, if he could have finished it
that day as well. In Sinew this impatience was the effect of youth;
it was something that he would get over, and indeed I believe that
he has largely gotten over it already.
I wanted to write that the rest of the night on which Seawrack and
I first encountered Krait passed uneventfully, and that I sat up for
most of it stroking poor Babbies head. There. It is written.
The wind picked up before noon, and we cracked along in a way
that had me plotting to spread more sail. I was ever a careful,
cautious sailor, as I have implied. But the cautious sailor must avoid
the sunken rock of overcaution, and it was apparent that additional
sail would speed us on our way without endangering us.
Perhaps I am getting better at it. They seem to think so, at least.
But I had better sleep.
I should not have stopped last night before mentioning that we lay
at anchor in the bay that night. Seawrack and I slept side by side
under the foredeck, thankfully without Babbie; and that soon after
we lay down she asked whether we would put out again in the
morning. From her tone it was clear that she did not want to.
If it is true that in some sense Silk and Hyacinth remain forever
beside the goldfish pond at Ermines where I sought them, may
not Seawrack and I live in the same sense in a certain dry cave
among towering, moss-draped trees on the island that will always
be The Island to me? I have said that I can be cruel because I
know it for the truth; and I know too that the universe, the whorl
of all whorls, can be much crueler. I hope it is not cruel enough to
deprive even the smallest and most ghostly fragment of my being
of the happiness that Seawrack and I know there.
It was a circular valley entirely free of the mature trees that had
formed the forest of the mountain slopes, and filled instead
with the bushes, vines, and saplings that had been absent there,
green, lush, and saturated with an atmosphere of newness that I
really cannot describe but was immediately conscious of. After hours
of climbing through the airless antiquity of the forest, it was as
though we had been awakened from the deepest of sleeps with a
bucket of cold water.
Here and thus baldly I had intended to end both tonights labor
and this whole section of my narrative. I wiped this new quill of
Orebs and put it away, shut up the scuffed little pen case I found
where my father must have left it in the ashes of our old shop, and
locked the drawer that holds this record, a thick sheaf of paper
already.
It must be very late, but I cannot sleep. Somewhere very far away,
Seawrack is singing to her waves.
When I regained consciousness it must have been almost
shadelow. I lay on my back for a long while then, occasionally
opening my eyes and shutting them again, seeing without
thinking at all about anything I saw. The sky darkened, and the
stars came out. I remember seeing Green directly above my up-turned
face, and later seeing it no longer, but only the innocent
stars that had fled before it and returned when it had gone.
Last night I stopped writing because I could not bring myself to
describe the rest of that day, or the night that followed it, or the
day that followed that, the day on which I licked dew from the sides of the
pit, lying on my belly at first, then kneeling, then standingand
at last, when the Short Sun peeped over the rim and the
dew was almost gone, wiping the stone above my head with fingers
that I thrust into my mouth the moment they felt damp. Altogether
I got two mouthfuls of water, at most. No more than that, certainly,
and very likely it was less.
It had crossed the pit and vanished on the other side an hour or
two before, when the inhumu returned. He stood with his toes
grasping the edge and looked down at me, and I saw that he was
wearing one of my tunics and a pair of my old trousers, the trousers
loose and rolled up to the knee, and the tunic even looser, so that
it hung on him as his fathers coat does on a child who plays at
being grown. Horn! he called. And again, Horn!
That was a second paradox, of course. Or rather, it was a great
truth embodied in a paradox, the truth being that a thing cannot
be employed to prove itself. We had a fortune-teller at court a few
|i days ago. He had come partly, as he said, because he wanted permission
to ply his trade in our town; and partly, or so I would guess,
because he hoped to gain notoriety here.
I had intended to continue my narrative tonightor rather to resume it,
telling how the inhumu and I made our way down the
mountainside to the sloop, how we went in search of Seawrack, and
so forth. I would then be very near the point at which she gave me
the ring. |j|
It was already late when the inhumu and I started down the mountain,
and neither of us was capable of swift or sustained walking.
You are not to imagine from that, however, that I was downhearted
or despondent. Health makes us cheerful, and illness and weakness
leave us gloomy and sadthat, at least, is the common view. I can
only say that I have seldom been weaker or nearer exhaustion, but
my heart fairly leaped for joy. I was out of the pit. Free! Free even
of the burning thirst that had at last become a torment worse even
than hopelessness. The rocks and ancient, moss-sheathed trees were
beautiful, and the very air was lovely. The inhumu assured me that
he knew the shortest way back to the sloop; and I reflected that
Patera Quetzal had been a good friend to Silk. Was it not at least
possible that this inhumu would prove a good friend to Seawrack
and me?
I went a-hunting today for the first time since Hari Mau brought
me here. It might be more accurate to say that I watched the others
hunt, since I killed nothing. But then, neither did they.
Before I described our cattle hunt, I should have given some reason
for including it; but to write the truth, I am not sure I had any at
the time. It had occurred that day and my mind was full of it, and
that is all; but when I think about the walk back to the sloop with
Babbie, I can see that it fits in well enough. He had begun to revert
to the wild state, as the cattle had. Like the holy man, I was able
to retame him because I meant him no harm.
It was dark when we reached the sloop. I had tied her to a tree
before leaving with Seawrack and Babbie on our hunting expedition,
and she seemed almost exactly as I had left her. There was no
sign of Seawrack or the inhumu. I shared a good many apples and
what remained of the ham with Babbie, and retired for the night.
No doubt my explanation will bore you, whoever you are, unless
you are Nettle; but she is the reader I hope for, and so I will explain
anyway for her sake. When I leave a break in my text like the one
above, sketching the three whorls to separate one bit from the next,
it is generally because I have decided to stop and get some sleep.
As for what I left this lovely table to think about, it was Kraits
remark. He had said the stars were always there, and I (that so much
younger I aboard the sloop) had thought he meant merely that they
did not vanish in fact when they vanished to sight. It seemed a
trivial observation, since I had never supposed they dideveryone
has seen the flame of a candle disappear in sunlight and knows that
the invisible flame will burn a finger.
When Chandi and I glimpsed Green from our seat in the garden,
she told me that her mother had told her once that it was the eye
of the Great Inhumu, whose children he sends here. I nodded, and
was careful not to mention that I had lived and fought there.
Dreamt that Oreb was back. Very strange. I was in the Sun Street
Quarter again, made inexpressibly sad by its devastation. I sent Pig
away as I actually did there, with Oreb for a guide; but at the last
moment I could not bear to be parted from him and called him
back. He returned and lit upon my shoulder, wrapping a slimy
tentacle around my neck, he having become Scylla. In Orebs voice,
she demanded that I take her to the Blue Mainframe. I explained
that I could not, that there was no such place, only the Short Sun.
While I spoke I watched Pigs disappearing back and heard the faint
tapping of his sword.
I have been hunting again. Some of the men who captured the
wild cattle invited me to go with them, and being curious I
made time for it. It was very different from the cattle hunt, a
butchery bloody enough to satisfy any number of augurs.
I meant to tell you how Krait deceived Seawrack tonight. I will, but
there is something else I ought to describe first, although it will be
hard to represent exactly, and I may fail to make it clear. Put simply,
it is that I saw the sea (and afterward the land as well) from that
time forward as I do today. If I say that I believe I am seeing these
things, and houses, too, and occasionally faces, as a good painter
must, will you understand me?
I heard Seawrack long before I saw her. She was singing just as she
is singing now, singing as the Mother had, her sweet, clear voice at
one with the fog and the waters, so that I knew the sea had been
incomplete without her song, that it was fully created, a finished
object, only while she sang. Fog muffles sound, so we must have
been near her then; I would have taken the sloop nearer still to hear
her, although Krait warned me against it; but he slid down the
forestay and loosed the jib, so that we swung into the wind with
the main flapping like a flag. He told me to call to Seawrack, but I
could not. How I wish you could have heard her, Nettle! You have
never heard such singing.
It has been a week since I wrote the words that you have just read,
a week of heat and terrible, violent storms, and reports of the
inhumi from many outlying farms. Not far from town, a woman and
her two children were found bloodless by a neighbor child.
I will not be believed in any case. I know it. Hari Mau and the rest
will not even believe that I am who I am, and I have known that I
would not be believed ever since I wrote about the leatherskin. I
am going to tell the whole truth, as I would at shriving. I will hide
nothing and embroider nothing, from this point forward. It will
give my poor dear Nettle pain in the unlikely event that sheor
anyonereads what I write; but she will at least have the
satisfaction of knowing that she knows the worst.
I had asked Seawrack to sing for me, as you have already read. The
truth is that I implored her to, and at last threatened her, and she
sang. She sang only a note or two, just a word or two in some
tongue never spoken by human beings, and I was upon her. I tore
off the clumsy sailcloth skirt and bit and clawed and pummeled her,
doing things no man ought ever to do to any woman.
I searched the waterline for Seawrack, and failing to find her probed
the sea for her with the boat hook, which was absurd. After that, I
wanted to return to the rocks where we had found her before, but
Krait dissuaded me, giving me his word that she was still on the
sloop, but telling me quite frankly that I would be a complete fool
to search it for her, since finding her would be far worse than not
finding her. Soon after that, he left.
Somewhere she is singing for me at this moment, singing as she
used to before Krait came. I hear her, as I do almost every day,
although she must surely be many hundreds of leagues away. I hear
herand when I do not I dream of my home beside the sea. Of it
and of you, Nettle my darling, my only dearest, the sweetheart of
my youth. But if ever I find my way back to it (as Seawrack has
beyond any question found her way back to the waves and the
spume, the secret currents, and her black, wave-washed rocks) there
will come a stormy midnight when I throw off the blankets, although
you and the twins are soundly sleeping. I will put out then
in whatever boat I can find, and you will not see me more. Do not
mourn me, Nettle. Every man must die, and I know what death I
long for.
We buried alive an inhumu and two inhumas today, taking up three
of the big flat paving stones in the marketplaceall that cruel
business. One smiled at me, and I thought I saw human teeth. All three
looked so human that I felt we were about to consign to the grave
a living man and two living women. I insisted that they open their
mouths so I could inspect them. The woman who had smiled would
not, so hers was pried open with the blades of daggers; there were
only blood-drinking fangs, folded against the roof of her mouth.
On the evening I wrote about before the inhumation, we sat
before the fire and said very little. The apple barrel, which had once
seemed inexhaustible, was empty at last, and the flour gone. I had
used the last of our cornmeal that night. I had two fishing lines
out, and from time to time I got up to look at them; but they
caught nothing.
I should tell you this too: Chandi has come in pretending to believe
I sent for her, and I will have to stop writing this rambling account
that has become a letter to you while I persuade her to leave.
I am not sure when I wrote last. Before the big storm, but when?
I ought to date my entries, but what would such dates mean to
those who may read them? Every town on this whorl, every city in
the old Whorl, uses a different system; even the lengths of our years
are different. This Great Pas did, to prevent our leaguing against
Mainframe; and it divides us still. I will give the day and the month
as we reckon them here in Gaon: Dusra Agast. That may mean
something to you; but if it does not, not much has been lost.
When I ended my last session with this old quill of Orebs, Seawrack
and I were on the sloop on the night of the fires. I dreamed that
night about shadowy figures creeping from those fires to swim
toward us, and climbing aboard bent upon murder. I sat up and found
my slug gun, and nearly fired it, too; but there was no one there.
I lay down again and muttered an apology to Seawrack for
having awakened her.
Rain and more rain, all day long. I held court and heard three cases.
It is hard to be fair in such foul weather; there is that in me that
wants to punish everyone; but I try hard to be fair, and to point
out to everyone who appears before me that if only they themselves
had been fair, they would not have to come to me for justice. This
I say in one fashion to one, and in another to another. Still, I thank
the Outsider, and all the lesser gods, that I had no criminal cases
today. The impressions of his fingers are on all these quarreling,
handsome, mud-colored people; but the light is bad on such days
as this, and it can be terribly hard to see them.
As well as I can remember I had planned, as I lay there in the dark
next to Seawrack, to sail north along the coast the next day until I
found a good spot to anchor in, then go ashore and hunt, leaving
her to watch the boat. When I woke and found her gone, I realized
that I could do no such thing. She had said that she was going for
a swim, not that she was leaving me forever. What if she returned,
and could not find the sloop?
It was left behind, of course, with everything else. I wish that I had
it back, if only to help me with Barsat and to remind me of her.
With the block and tackle, and Krait and Seawrack to pull
the rope with me, and Babbie pushing and lifting the stern
with his shoulders, we were able to get the sloop well up onto the
beach. When there was no moving it any farther, I stowed the
block, fetched my slug gun and some of the silver jewelry, and
moored the sloop to dwarfish but sturdy-looking trees at both the
bow and the stern.
I tried more than once to show her the mountains, but in every place we
stopped our view was obstructed by leaves and branches. Its
going to be horribly easy to lose our way, I told her. Well
have to stop and look at the sun wherever it can be seen. The boy
says theres a river, though, and we can follow thatif we can
find it.
It was nearly dark by the time we reached the lean-to Krait had
visited. It belonged to a family of foura husband and wife, a boy
of twelve or thirteen, and a plump little girl whom I judged to be
eight or nine. The man was away hunting when we arrived, and the
boy was spearing fish in the river. His mother called out to him
when she saw us, and he came at a run, brandishing his barbed
spear. Seawrack and I smiled and tried to show by signs (since the
woman seemed not to understand the Common Tongue) that we
were friendly.
We stretched ourselves upon the ground to sleep in daisy-petal fashion,
our feet toward the fire and our heads outward. If I had been
warm and comfortable, I might very well have nodded off quickly,
and slept the night away in spite of the resolution I had formed
while I had stood in the tree. As things were, I shivered, huddled
with Seawrack, and reviled myself through chattering teeth for not
trading for the greenbuck hide and letting the exsanguinated child
freeze for me.
Yesterday Barsat reported finding a house of the Vanished People,
as the Neighbors seem to be called on this eastern side of the sea
wherever the Common Tongue is spoken. Today he and I rode out
to see it, escorted by Hari Mau, Mota, Ram, and Roti. It was a
dismal place, roofless, and empty of everything except twigs and
dead leaves; but Barsat informed me that it was happy now. Naturally
I asked what he meant.
I must have spent three or four hours, if not longer, laboriously
picking my way through the scrub. At last I hung my slug gun on
the stub of a broken branch and sat down under one of the little
trees with my back to the trunk, weary to the bone. Soon I let my
eyes close (which they were only too willing to do) and abandoned
myself to disappointment. I had hoped to reach the closest of the
fires I had seen from my perch in the tree and catch a glimpse of
the mysterious Neighbors about whom I had thought so much.
I had also hoped to kill some animal that would furnish us with
food. As I slumped there, I knew that both my hopes had been
without foundation; I had exhausted myself and abandoned the
comfort of the fire for nothing. I believe that I slept then, for a few
minutes at least, and very likely for an hour or more.
A tap on my shoulder woke me. The face that looked into my own
was invisible in the darkness, but I took no note of that, thinking
that mine must be equally impossible to see. In much of the account
I have written, I have set down my own words or the words others
spoke to me. It a few cases I have been quite certain (at the time I
wrote, if not subsequently) that I recalled them precisely. In most
others, I have merely re-created them as you and I re-created so
many of the verbal exchanges we put into our book, relying upon
my knowledge of the speakers, and of the gist of what they had
said. But we have come to a very different matter.
I was lost when I could no longer see the Neighbors fire. I knew
that to return to He-pen-sheeps camp all that I had to do was walk
uphill. It should have been easy; but again and again I found myself
walking across level ground or down a gentle slope, and so toward
the sea, when I felt certain that I had set out in the correct direction.
At this point I have told you everything of interest. I am going to
make the rest very short and so finish writing about all this before
I go to bed.
I had thought to end this part of my account with the words you
just read, Nettle darling, the final words that I wrote last night; but
there is more to tell, and it will fit in here better than anywhere
else.
I am not sure how long it has been since I wrote all this about
the breakbulls head. I might guess, so many days or so many
weeks, but what does it matter? A week of war is a year, a month
of war a lifetime.
No, let me spit my bile. Then I will begin with the river. With the
Nadi, the town of Han upriver, Hans invasion, and the first fighting.
No more. My hand was shaking so badly that I laid down the quill
just now, raging against myself. I wanted to get up and retrieve my
azoth, to press it against my own breastbone and feel the demon
beneath my thumb. Wanted to, I say, but I am too weak to leave
my chair. Moti came in with a little brass kettle and mint tea, and
I could have killed her, not because I have anything against the
sweet child, but as a substitute for myself. I handed her my dagger
and told her to stab me between the shoulder blades, because I
lacked the courage to drive in the point. Bent my head and shut
my eyes. What would I have done if she had obeyed?
Choora. That is the word they use here for this kind of a dagger. I
have been trying to think of it. Choora. It sounds like one of my
wives, and no doubt it could be a womans name as well, a woman
slim and straight, with brown cheeks and golden bangles in her ears
and nose. Loyally, Choora remained at my side when we charged
and when we broke; and if she never drew a single drop of blood,
it was my fault and not hers. All hail Princess Choora!
A strange expressionturn her hand. Did somebody travel once
with a woman who had only one arm? Yes, and it was I. And did
he sleep with her, and make gentle love to her as I did in our cozy
corner under the little foredeck? Were neither of them ever quite
able to forget that he had raped her once?
I have been away a long time. Will my wives expect me to sleep
with them tonight? What will I say to them?
The work went far faster than I had imagined. Our men dug, they
blew rock to rubble with powder from the armory, and soon there
was a second Nadi, slower, longer, and narrower, looping around
the rapids, a Nadi only just deep enough for small boats; but Nadi
herself is taking care of that, and quickly, cutting into the red clay
and bearing it off. She is still swift in both her divided selves, but
not so swift in her new one that boats cannot be hauled around the
rapids with bullocks. The Man of Han asked us to cut another such
channel around the Cataracts upriver so that boats that reached
Gaon could reach Han also. Our merchants were against it, as was
only to be expected.
As you see, I have made the old design. Does it mean that I am
going to continue this folly? No doubt. Nettle will never read it, I
know. Neither will my sons. Or I should say, neither will the sons
I left behind on Lizard Island. [Nettle has read it. So have Hoof
and I.Hide]
Bahar came in to tell me we have been pushed back again, nearly
to the town. It was an interruption, but not enough of an
interruption for me to draw the three whorls again. Or so I judge.
Chandi was slow when I rang the bell. To punish her I told her I
wanted someone else to bring my food. If only I had thought, I
would have realized that she was afraid I was going to ask her to
kill me. Moti will have told her, as I should have realized; they tell
each other everything. At any rate, inspiration struck. Everyone has
a good idea now and then, I suppose, even me. Nettle had most of
ours, except for the paper.
She is asleep now. Poor, poor child! I hope the gods send her peaceful
dreams.
Bahar wanted me to sacrifice to Sphigx. Maybe I will. That might
hearten our people, too.
It is a weary work, to write about everything. Briefly then, and I
will sleep beside Chota.
Now that I come to think of it, I was told that one had been
captured only an hour or so before we got there.
I have been busy all day, trying to catch up on matters that should
have been attended to while I was with our troopers. (What would
I not give for Hammerstone now! Olivine, lend us your father,
please.) Most important: I have sent Bahar and Namak downriver
in a boat, each with his little case of cards. Bahar is to buy rice
and beanswhatever is cheap and fillingand he is just the man
for it.
Even war has benefits, even being wounded and more than half
expected to die. Maybe nothing real is wholly good or bad. (But
real is not the word. Tangible?) I still long for home and Nettles
pardon, should she be so moved as to give it; but the pain in my
side kills the pain of that, and I have been mercifully busy. Which
is the god of busyness? Scylla, perhaps, if there is one. Scylla tossing
up waves to dance in sunlight and starlight. I have written so much
about our life on the sloop, and nothing about that, yet aside from
Seawrack of the golden hair it is what I recall the best from all those
daysthe ceaseless, restless waves gleaming with reflected stars and
dyed by Green. What blessings mere busyness brings us!
A note reports that four of our prisoners have killed themselves.
This must be stopped. I have ordered the remaining prisoners
brought here to me by noon tomorrow. I want another look at
them.
Talked to the prisoners with Chota present as before. At first we
learned nothing new. I ordered a good hot meal prepared for them
and spoke to them again afterward, and was lucky enough to get
to the bottom of it.
Truce agreed to. I sent Rajya Mantri to tell the Hannese we wanted
to exchange prisoners, all that we have for all they have. They would
not agree, but we got eighteen of ours for eighteen of theirs. The
important thing is that those men are back where they can talk to
their fellow troopers. The retreat is all arranged, and should be just
far enough to get them over the buried kegs.
The river was broad and slow, but after three days sailing it became
obvious that the stretch before the first fork was a good deal longer
than Wijzer had indicated. When I saw a town (a cluster of huts,
really) on the south bank, I put in there, intending to barter for
blankets and a few other things we needed, and sail on that day.
We ended by staying four. Once you stop, you and your journey
are at the mercy of the god of the place. I have learned that, at
least, from all my traveling. Nevertheless, I must stop this writing
right now and get a little sleep.
Wound healing, I believe. I feel better (less feverish) and there is
certainly less inflammation. Less drainage, too. Phaea be thanked.
Or whomever.
All the temple bells are ringing. A great day! We have driven them
back.
I have sent for the armorer. He is to bring me a needier and several
short swords, so that I can choose the one I like. We need slug
guns and ammunition badly, but we have plenty of knives and
swords at least.
As I penned that last, it struck me that I ought to send for the head
gardener as well. I have been wondering how I could get a spade,
and a bar of some kind to pry up the stones. He can supply them
both, and it should be safer than having Evensong buy them for
me in the market. I have seen him at work often, a silent old man
with a faded blue headcloth and a big white mustache. Both the
younger gardeners are away fighting, and he will be having a difficult
time of it, poor old fellow. He should be eager to get on my
good side.
The town on the river consisted of twenty or thirty rough wooden
houses and a hundred or so crude little huts covered with bark and
hides. Nobody there would sell anything except on market day. I
had never heard of such a custom, and went around complaining,
and demanding things that I did not get. Eventually Krait and Seawrack
persuaded me that it was better to be patient, to get to know
the people and find out all we could. We ate Seawracks smoked
meat, mostly, chopped and stewed with pepper and some local wild
garlic I found, and drank river water before we found the little
stream from which the people of the town got their own drinking
water. I felt sure that the muddy river water would make us sick,
but it did not.
I ought to have said the setting of the Short Sun as seen in and
around New Vironon the coast, in other words. Here the sun
comes up out of the mountains late in the morning, and sets among
mountains, too, briefly painting their snowy peaks with purple and
flame (or is that the brush of Wijzers Maker?) and giving us a long
twilight.
All that has vanished now. When I try to summon it again as I sit
here between the lampstands, I see only Seawrack, the long, supple
line of her legs, hips, and back.
The head gardener came yesterday after I had stopped writing.
He was tired and so was I, yet we talked for over an hour. I
believe I can trust him if I can trust anybody; and I have already
resolved to trust Chota, so as to have somebody to keep watch. I
might not be able to move the stone by myself, and might re-open
the wound in my side if I try. Two of us should be able to
move it pretty easily.
What a day! What a night, for that matter. I have never been so
tired.
Morning, but dark as night with pounding rain. No one came to
awaken meor what is more likely, Pehla did but the guard at my
door would not admit her. Very late morning, I ought to have said.
I have slept twelve hours at least.
I stopped writing this long enough to scribble a note to Hari Mau
asking about Darjan. I called him my guide. Hari Mau should
be able to tell me whether he returned safely.
Chandi brought in my breakfast tray, solicitous of my health while
trying very hard to keep a scratched cheek turned away from me. I
asked her how it happened, expecting her to say she fell. (How long
has it been since I thought about old Generalissmo Oosik? Not
since Nettle and I wrote, I am sure.) She surprised me by saying
she had bent to pick a rose in the garden and the bush scratched
her. There is a variety there that blooms almost constantly, so her
story was not as absurd as one might think. It was original and
imaginative, too.
Back again. (I almost wrote home.) Two days of rain, wet and mud.
My wound throbs and my right ankle hurts, but dry and comfortable
otherwise. Eveningnearly eight by the big clock.
Evensong came. This time I watched her slip through my window.
When peace returns (if it does) Im going to have another sentry
in the garden. Or bars on these windows. Bars would be more
practical, I suppose, but I cannot forget how I hated the bars on
the windows of my manse.
I have been writing here, I see, about that town on the river. It
seems so very long ago.
Found itback of wardrobe. I put Olivines eye in the pocket.
On Green I learned the secret the inhumi wish nobody to
know. I promised not to reveal it, but who will ever read this,
besides me? Although I swore, I did not swear not to reveal my oath.
I can threaten them as well as save them, and I will do both.
After writing those words, Then I will go home, I threw
away the last of Orebs quills. I am writing with the gray
feather of a goose now, like other men. And there is so much to
write about before the great day comesthe day when I can leave
this placethat I hardly know how to begin.
Soon after that, Evensong returned. She had a crimson silk gown
over one arm and was carrying two elaborately inlaid boxes. There
are shoes in here, she told Jahlee, handing her one, and a good
ivory bracelet and my second-best ivory ring. Women in Han dont
wear a lot of brass bangles the way women do here.
That was four days ago. Jahlee may have been active. I hope so,
but I have heard nothing.
If I were to give every detail of the painfully slow voyage that Seawrack,
Krait, Babbie, and I made up the river, I would use up as
much again of this thin rice paper as I have consumed already.
After the first fork, the current became our chief obstacle, and one
about which we could do very little. Even on the lower reaches,
where it was almost undetectable, it would slowly bear the sloop
backward toward Wichote, although the water appeared quite motionless.
After the first fork, we had to creep along very near one
bank or the other, which meant we could not tack. We had to wait
for a good, strong wind not worse than quartering, or crawl forward
with the sweeps. On more than one occasion, and more than two,
we thus waited and crawled and waited again for days at a time.
There were even times when I walked three hundred strides upriver
(that being the greatest distance that we had rope for) and hitched a block
to a tree, after which we hauled the sloop forwardwe
being Babbie and I, very largely. I do not recall a good, strong,
favoring wind that lasted a full day during the entire trip.
Heavy rain from midnight on, which gave us good cover. I did not
go out or even get up this morning, although my wound seems
betterbreakfast in bed from a tray, and so forth. Hari Mau talked
with me as I lay in bed, stamping up and down the room and more
than ready to fall upon the Hannese that very moment. He had
ridden half the morning with a rain-soaked, bloodstained bandage
where his white headcloth ought to be, and is planning a major
attack as soon as the rainy season ends. Our enemies are weaker
than they look, he says, and I pray to the Outsider and any other
god who may read this that he is correct. He swears diat if I could
talk with his new prisoners I would agree.
We could have built a fire in the box or lit the lantern that night
on the sloop, but we did not. The darkness and the overpowering
presences of the forest and the swiftly sinister river created an
atmosphere that I cannot possibly convey with ink on paper. The
people of Shadelow believe that each of their rivers has a minor
god of its own who lives in and under it and governs it, a god
whose essence it is. Also that the forests hold minor gods and
goddesses as numerous as their animals, gods and goddesses for
the most part malign and unappeasable. When Seawrack spoke to
Sinew and me that night in the dark, it almost seemed to me that
we had one with us on the sloop. What it must have seemed to
Sinew, who did not know her as I did, is far beyond my ability to
express.
When we had gone a little farther up the river and anchored in
midstream for the night, Sinew called softly, Mucor? Mucor? I
had never realized until then how much his voice resembled Kraits.
(Perhaps I should have written, how very near Kraits it came in
certain moods.)
I have been away from this untidy stack of manuscript a long
while, and tonight I would like to make up for all of my neglect
before I pack it away. In another week the rains should end, and
they may end even sooner; I have been questioning the farmers in
court, and all say they recall years in which the rainy season ended
a week early. It is not completely inconceivable that it will end
tonight, although the rain beats against my shutters at this moment
with such violence that tiny droplets find their way through, a
coarse mist that dribbles from the windowsill and wets the carpet.
I have had to move my writing table to escape it.
I will have to. How strange it will seem to be alone on a boat again.
As though Green and the whole Whorl had never happened. Back
on board a boat, and sailing down Nadi to the sea!
There is not time enough for me to re-read the earlier pages properly,
but I believe I promised myself (and you, Nettle darling, if the
Outsider someday grants my prayer) that I would not end this account
before Sinew, Krait, and I went aboard the lander. That I
would not end it, in fact, until we flew away from Pajarocu. I may
not have time, however, if I continue to trace our way up the rivers.
Tonight that seems too much to ask even of a god.
How the rain thunders against the roof and walls! Who would have
believed that there could be so much water in the whorl?
The rain has stopped. After so many days of rain it seems uncanny,
although it does not actually rain without cease during the rainy
season. If the season has not ended, it will rain again in an hour or
two; if it has, this may be the last rain we will see for months. I
have thrown open all the windows, determined to enjoy the respite.
Oreb is back! I got up just now to have another look at the sky,
and he landed on my shoulder, scaring me silly. Bird back! he
said, as if he had been gone for an hour. Bird back! Good Silk!
and Home good!
After writing that last I got out my old black robe, the robe that
Olivine stole for me and that His Cognizance Patera Incus persuaded
me to wear when I sacrificed in the Grand Manteion. Will
I be wearing it still when I arrive at New Viron to report my failure?
It seems likely I will. I have my jeweled vest under it, and am going
to keep my rings. They owe me those, at least.
Still no Evensong. I have been talking with Oreb, who has flown
over this entire whorlor says he has. When we fall silent I can
hear Seawrack, faint and far, her voice keeping time with the beating
of the waves.
Pajarocu is a portable town, as Wijzer said. I should say, rather, that
it is a portable city, the shadow of the real City of Pajarocu, which
must be somewhere in the Whorl. There are a few huts and a few
tents; but they are not Pajarocu, and are in fact frowned upon. Let
me explain what I mean, Nettle.
Since I have taken the time to characterize the people of Gaon and
Han, let me do the same for the people of Pajarocu. You have seen
them already in my words, since you have met He-pen-sheep and
She-pick-berry. They are short for the most part and frequently
bowlegged, dark and hard-featured, with piercing eyes and long
coarse hair that is always black unless the years have done their work
or they have shaved their heads, as many young men and boys do.
Oreb wanted something to eat, which gave me a fine chance to
roam through this palace and make certain everyone is asleep. The
only person I saw who was not was the sentry before my door. He
was surprised at my black robe, I believe, but he showed it only by
a slight widening of his eyes. If it were not for my wound, I would
climb out the window when I take my departure, although it is
hard to imagine that my own sentry will try to stop me.
If Evensong can climb up, I can climb down, surely, weak though
I feel. I will leave my door locked, and they will think I am sleeping
late. Very likely no one will venture to knock before noon, and by
then I will be far away. When this account halts in the middle of a
word, you are to understand that Evensong has returned with news
of the boat that I sent her to buy.
Bad thing! says Oreb. Thing fly! So there are inhumi
about, just as in Pajarocu. I do not believe they will attack Evensong,
whom they all know. But what a thought! If only we protected one
another, they would all be idiots or worse. As it is, they always get
enough to keep them going.
In Pajarocu, I got my first warning from Seawrack. I woke and
found her clinging to me and trembling. Whispering, I asked her
what was wrong. Theyre hunting the night. Her teeth were
chattering so that she could scarcely speak. A bad dream, I thought,
and many times the inhumi had seemed no more than a bad dream
to me, so that I half expected Krait to vanish at sunrise. I tried to
tell Seawrack that she had spent too many years under the sea, and
that the creatures she had feared there could not reach her here.
Oreb has been pulling my hair. Go now? Go Silk? (Or perhaps
it is Go, Silk! I cannot be sure.) I feel exactly as he does, but
Evensong still has not returned. I am going to try to snatch an
hours sleep.
The clock just struck. The hour is two, to the minute.
Evensong has returned!
Evensong has bought me a boat that sounds like it is exactly the
sort I need. She smiled proudly as she described it, and even
borrowed this quill and a sheet of paper so that she could sketch it for
me, small enough for me to handle alone and even row if need be,
with a little shelter like a hut at the waist, and a mast that can be
taken down, or put up by one man to spread a small sail. It is newly
painted, she says; crimson and black, which in Han are thought to
be the luckiest colors.
A line or two more, but only a few.
Yes, I do. Silk said Mamelta had called it the nose, and that is what
you and I called it when we wrote, Nettle. We on the lander simply
said the front or up front.
What good are its ascension and domination, when all its heat
cannot halt its immutable decline? Augurs here (such augurs as
there are) still prattle of an immortal spirit in every human being.
No doctrine could be less convincing. Like certain seeds from the
landers, it was grown beneath another sun and can scarcely cling to
existence in the light of this one. I preach it like the rest, convincing
no one less than myself.
When I left home, I had promised myself that by noon I would
tie up at the wharf in New Viron, having supposed, or hoped at
least, that the west wind would last. It had been weakening since
midmorning, and while I washed my fork and little, red-brown
plate, it died away altogether. I lay down in the shade beneath the
foredeck and slept.
Less than two hours had passed, I believe, when I woke. The
shadow of the mainsail was slightly larger and had moved a trifle;
otherwise everything was the same. For half a minute, the sloop
rose a hands breadth upon the oily water, and for the next half
minute descended again. Halfway to the horizon, one of the snake-necked
seabirds skimmed the water hunting fish, a creature capable
of soaring almost to the stars that rarely rose higher than a donkeys
ears.
It was only then, after I had truly slept, that the full weight of
my decision fell upon me. The leaders (self-appointed, you may be
sure) who had come to speak to us had believed (or had pretended
to believe) that my absence from my family, and the house and mill
that Nettle and I had ^uilt together, would be merely temporary,
like a trip to Three Rivers. I would discover the location of Pajarocu
without difficulty, board a lander just as we had boarded the one
that had brought us there and revisit the Long Sun Whorl, find Silk
(again without difficulty), easily persuade him to accompany me,
procure samples of maize and other seeds, learn all I could about
the manufacture of this and thator still better, find someone
skilled who would come with usand return home. They had spoken
of it as something that might with a little good luck be accomplished
in a few months. On the sloop that day I realized that I
might as well have volunteered to fly to Green by flapping my arms
and wipe out every inhumu there. One would be no more difficult
than the other.
The enormity of the oath I had taken so lightly back on the
Tail had not yet sunk in, and would not until Babbie and I were
sailing alone, north along the coast. If I had been able to reach
New Viron, I would have gone to Marrow and the rest and declared
that I had changed my mind, gone back to the sloop, and gone
back to Lizard at once. But I could no more give up my errand
than I could continue it. The reefs and rocks of the mainland waited
immobile to my left. The horizon ducked away from my eyes to
starboard. Nothing moved except the white bird, which flew back
and forth with a slow, sad motion that seemed so weary that every
time two wings rose I felt that it was about to fall into the sea, and
the Short Sun, which crept down to the empty horizon as remorselessly
as every man creeps toward his grave.
2
BECALMED
Seriously, it is perceived but means nothing to the owner of
the eyes. Silk said once that we are like a man who can see only
shadows, and thinks the shadow of an ox the ox and a mans shadow
the man. These people reverse that. They see the man, but see him
as a shadow cast by the leaves of a bough stirred by the wind. Or
at least they see him like that unless he shouts at them or strikes
them.
I have never struck the scribe I mentioned (his name is Hoop),
although I have been severely tempted. I have shouted at him once
or twice, or asked what he was writing before the ink dried upon
his pen. But I have never asked him how he does nothing, or how
I can learn to do it in case I find myself alone again in a boat upon
a windless sea. I should.
There are always half a dozen little jobs waiting on a boat like
the sloop. The standing rigging should be tightened here and there,
simple though it is. It might be well to rake the mast a bit moreor
a bit less. There is not much water in the bilge, but what there is
can be removed with a little satisfying labor. The harpoon and its
coil of line, carelessly stowed by Hide two days ago, can be stowed
more neatly, so that they occupy a trifle less space. One by one I
found them and did them all, and searched diligently for more, and
took out the few belongings I had packed, and refolded and re-packed
them all, except for our book.
And settled down to read, searching out Silks trip to Lake
Limna with Chenille and reading about the poster they saw there
and how he separated from Chenille, who had drawn his picture in
colored chalks as soon as he was goneall in my wifes neat and
almost clerkly hand.
How long and how diligently she had labored to produce copy
after copy, until she had done six altogether and several persons
were clamoring for more, and several others were copying the ones
she had produced earlier (and producing with the wildest abandonment
both abridgments and annotated editions in which their annotations
were not always clearly distinguished, and sometimes were
not distinguished at all). Then sheyou, my own darlingalthough
she had already labored for the better part of a year to satisfy
what must have seemed a mere whim to her (as indeed it sometimes
has to me), began, and toiled over, and at last completed that seventh
fair copy, which she proudly presented to me.
I had been tempted to leave it at home. Not because I did not
love itI did, and almost certainly loved it too much; no man is
so secure in his sanity that he can afford to lavish on a mere inanimate
object the passionate affection that every good man at some
time feels for another person. Loving it as I did, I had known I was
carrying it into deadly danger when I resolved to take it to the Long
Sun Whorl and present it to Silk. So it proved; I nearly lost it at
once, and it did not remain with me long. I can only say that I
knew the risk from the beginning, resolved with open eyes to run
it, and am very glad I did.
So it has proved, and where is the Nettle who shall produce
copy after copy of this, of this record of my travels and dangers and
lucky escapes that I have begun, this Book of Horn? But you must
surely think that in all this I have left my earlier self and our motionless
sloop far behind.
I have not, because it was then, reading in the sloop by the
light of the declining sun, that the thought of printing struck me
with full force. I had read (I believe) that Silk had come upon a
stone carved with a picture of Scylla, and I moved by imperceptible
mental stages from the carving of that stone to the cutting into fine
stone of pictures for books, as artists sometimes did at home, and
from there to cutting whole pages as the pictures are cut, pages that
might then be duplicated again and again, and from that to the
memory of a visit to a printing shop with my father, who had supplied
its owners with certain papers and inks, not all of which had
proved completely satisfactory.
I ought to say here that Nettle and I had discussed the possibility
of printing long before I wrote the incident in which Silk
stopped to pray before the Scylla-marked stone. We had discussed
it, but both of us had quickly concluded that it would be far easier
to create the two or three copies we then envisioned by hand than
to build the equipment necessary to print them and learn the process.
Having thus sensibly concluded that printing was beyond our
grasp, we abandoned all thought of it.
Now I, having seen the eagerness with which Nettles copies
were bought, thought of printing againbut in a whole new light:
I knew beyond doubt that we could sell as many as twenty or thirty
in the course of a year, if only we had them.
Furthermore, we might also print the much shorter account of
our departure from Old Viron that Scleroderma had completed
before death claimed her. A grandson had her manuscript, and
allowed others to copy it. Surely he would allow Nettle to copy it as
well, and from her copy we might print and sell a dozen at least.
In addition, there was a man in Urbasecundus who was said to have
produced a similar book, although I had never seen it. We had
paper, and the modest skills and tools required to sew folded sheets
into a book and to bind the book between thin slats of runnerwood.
We needed nothing but printing to create a new and profitable use
for the paper we made and sold already.
Nor was that all. Printing tens of thousands of words would
surely require hundreds of reusable letters, and perhaps a thousand
or more. In the shop I had visited with my father, they had made
their letters by pouring molten metal into metal molds. (This reminded
me of Chenilles description of the way in which the heads
of taluses are made, and I found and reread it.) The metal, which
I recalled seeing a woman heat in an iron ladle held in a charcoal
fire, had appeared to be pure silver when it was poured; but my
father had said that it was mostly lead.
That in turn reminded me of a conversation a week earlier with
Sinew, who delighted in discussing weapons of every kind and was
prone to pontificate about them. I had urged that needlers were
better suited to conditions here than slug guns, if only because the
projectile fired was a simple, slender cylinder, not gready different
from a short piece of wire. We owned a slug gun as well, the one
with which Nettle had fired on the pirates, and although the gun
itself was considerably simpler than a needier, every shot required
a separate casing and a multitude of other parts that could be used
only once: a dot of special chemical in a tiny copper cup, an explosive
to propel the slug, the slug itself, and a disk of stiff paper,
heavily waxed, with which to seal the casingthis last (I said) being
the only item on the entire list that we ourselves could supply.
Sinew had disagreed. Some man in town gave Gadwall a couple
of needles and told him to make him some iron ones. He did,
too. He cut them out of a thin rod he had and rolled them between
red-hot plates and polished them. He showed them to me, and the
real needles. His looked like the real thing. I couldnt tell them
apart. But when you put them in a needier, they wouldnt shoot.
Gadwall said you could have dropped in that many straws and done
every bit as well.
I started to object, but Sinew interrupted.
Slug guns are different. Were already making slug guns that
work. In that book you and Mother wrote, you have one of the
soldiers tell somebody his slugs are made of some stuff I never
heard of.
I agreed. Yes, depleted uranium. That was what Silk said he
said.
Well, I dont know what that is. But I know the slugs they
make in town are lead. You know about the silver mine they found
up in the mountains?
I know everybodys talking about one. I havent been there,
but it sounds very promising.
Yeah. He was silent for a moment, and I could see the dream
of finding such a mine himself in his eyes. We need a lot of things,
and weve got to have things to trade for them, stuff that doesnt
take up a lot of room on the boat and wont spoil. Silver should
be perfect. The miners already swap it for whatever they need, like
mining tools and powder, and the goldsmiths are making it into
rings and stuff so it will bring more. Or you can just swap a little
silver bar for twenty times that much iron. Its better than the paper,
all the traders want it.
Are you saying that silver can be used in the slug gun cartridges
in place of depleted uranium? Or that iron can? Iron would
be cheaper, naturally.
He had shaken his head. Theres lead in the silver ore. Its
heavier than silver, so the two are pretty easy to separate. So weve
not only got silver here weve got lead, too, and that works great.
You cant trade it, not now anyway, because its heavy and nobody
wants it much. But its a metal you can feed to slug guns, and weve
got it.
Lead could be cast into type, even cut into type by hand if the
casting proved difficult, and lead was available and cheap. We would
not need to start with thousands of movable pieces and print a
book. Most people who wanted our paper wanted it for writing
letters. We couldwe would!offer them decorated papers.
Marrow could have a picture of a vegetable marrow on his paper if he
liked, in green or yellow ink. Men named for birds, as Auk had
been and Gyrfalcon and Gadwall were, could have a picture of the
appropriate bird. Nettle drew very skillfully and had taught Hoof
and Hide to draw almost as well as she did. Most women were
named for flowers, and flowers were easy to draw (Nettle sometimes
sketched them for amusement) and should be easy to print.
I was so excited by the prospect that I would have paced up
and down if the size of the sloop had permitted it. As it was, I
climbed out on the bowsprit and waved my cap to the empty,
rolling sea and the dim and distant land. If the trolling bird was
impressed, he showed no signs of it.
Returning to our book (in which I had lost my place) I read
as before, often carried away by thoughts of printing and the
wonderful possibilities it offered, until I chanced on a passage that
caught me up short, the one in which Silk brings the Peace of Pas
to the talus he has killed in the tunnels. Many prayers and blessings
were already falling into disuse; but Nettle had told me of a woman
she knew who had written dozens on sheets of our paper and hung
them on the walls in her house to preserve them. Others might do
the same, and no doubt some already had; but by printing, such
things could not only be saved but disseminated.
Even that was not all. His Cognizance Patera Remora, with
whom I hoped to speak again when I reached the town, had a copy
of the Chrasmologic Writings he had brought from Vironit was
the book upon which I had sworn my oath. That would give us a
third text much longer than the first two; and by printing and selling
selections from it, we would not only perpetuate and preserve
what foreigners here call the Vironese Faith but propagate it.
It was a thought that gave me pause. If, as so many of us
thought, the gods we had known in the Whorl were not to be found
here, the Vironese Faith was a lie undeserving of my credence, or
anyones. For the ten thousandth time I wished with all my heart
that Silk had come with us.
* *
If I slept, Silk might appear in dream, or so I supposed, and
unravel the knot of faith for me; if I continued to read, something
he had said (first set down in our book by my own hand and now
forgotten) might solve everything; but I was no longer sleepy, and
the Short Sun was so low already that reading would soon be impossible.
I baited my hook and threw it out, and sat in the stern,
pondering.
It might well be that Pas and Echidna, and Scylla and her siblings,
were gods only in the Long Sun Whorl. That, I felt fairly
confident, had been Silks opinion; but Silks opinion had been
expressed before our lander left the Whorl. It was at least possible that
we had somehow brought them with us, as Remora alleged. He
was certainly correct in one sense: people who had revered those
gods through half a lifetime, as so many had, had carried them to
Blue in their hearts.
What was it Sinew had said?
That if Pas were truly a god he could come here whenever he
wished, or go anywhere. If Silk was right, and Pas did not leave the
Long Sun Whorl, it could only be because he did not want to. Or
(Pas had been murdered with apparent success by his wife and
children, after all) because he was somehow prevented by the other
gods. The same might be said of Echidna, Scylla, and the restbut
if they restrained Pas, who restrained them? It might easily be that
the gods were in fact present, remaining unknown to us because
we lacked the Sacred Windows through which they had spoken at
home.
There was one at least whom even Silk had expected to find
here. The Outsider was so called, in part at least, because he was
to be found outside the whorl as well as in it. Presumably he was
here, although there was no more evidence to suggest it than there
was for presence of the other gods. I had prayed to him occasionally
ever since we had landed, in imitation of Silk, although less and less
often as I found my prayers unavailing as the years wore on, maintaining
the custom of prayer at family meals because I hoped it
might promote the moral development of my sons.
Hope.
That is the trouble with all prayer. Because we hope, we find
success where success is not to be found. How easy it would be for
me to write here that Sinew would have been worse without the
empty ritual of those prayers! It may be true; but try to find an
honest man anywhere who would willingly say that Sinews moral
development ever benefited from anything.
He was brave on Green, at least, and loyal for a time.
* *
When I reached New Viron I asked Remora about it, and to
my surprise he took the question very seriously, his long face growing
longer still while he tried again and again to push back the lank
hair that persisted in falling over his high forehead to obstruct his
vision. Theahum, he said, and managed to load those noises
with sacred dignity. Ahaher.
If the gods dont want to be worshipped, theres no reason
for them to be swayed by our prayers and sacrifices, I argued.
Therefore, they do, if you will allow that they sometimes answer
prayers, as I know you will, Your Cognizance. Granting that, they
ought
Humha! It had been intended as an interruption, and I
stopped talking.
Logic, hey? Yes, um, logic. You said logic like a god. In your
book, hey? You had Silk say it.
It had been an idea Silk had once expressed to me, and I
thought it might well have occurred to him when he climbed the
insurgents barricade; but I did not trouble Remora with all that.
Your god, um, logic, betrays you.
I told him I did not see how.
Ahmultiplely. In diverse ways, eh? To, ah, begin. There are
manyyes, manyhere who, er, do not. They offer no sacrifices.
Nor do they attend sacrifice, hey? Never come to the manteion. I,
um, inquire when it is, um, not unwelcome, concerning private
prayer andahspecial devotions. No. None. Iahcredit it, for
the most part.
I nodded. So would I, Your Cognizance.
Not worshippers, eh? Numbers, ah, fluctuate. Well known in
the Chapter back home, eh? Much piety sometimes. In, er, time of
test. Trial, hey? Floods might beahinstanced. Fires. Plagues.
Wars. Or after a theophany, hey? At others, but little. He lifted
his hand and let it fall. Up and down, eh? You follow me?
I nodded again.
Suppose it dropped to, er, nought. Zero. Not a single spirit,
eh? Not a one. Never here, long as I live. Umno. But suppose.
No worshippers. Might not theseahforeign deities which you,
um, suggest take the occasion to, ah, scourge?
It doesnt seem likely, I objected
Hum? I beg to differ. Likely enough. Only too, ah, likely, I should say.
Let us continue. You, er, we assume they areumdeceased.
These Vanished People, eh? The whorl isahcommodious?
Voluminous? Extensive. You agree?
I suppose it is.
Capital. We progress. There is another, um, factor. No skylands,
eh? Only, ah, stars there, as they are called. Whorl at home
bent upwards, hey? Revealed itself to, ah, the eyes. This the, er,
contrary. Reverse. Bent down. You, um, arrived via water?
Yes, I said, and I told him what had happened on the sloop.
Indeed, indeed! Capital! One prayer, eh? Only one, and, er,
small faith, as you confess. Concede. See what one small prayer can
do. He rocked gleefully, his blue-veined fingers gripping the
armrests of his chair.
I said forcefully that if the leatherskin had come in answer to
my prayer I would just as soon as the Outsider had ignored it.
Ingratitude. Rampant everywhere. Remora shook his head.
But weahdigress. Yes, digress. You came by, um, sea. This
is established. You must have observed that most of thisahfo-reign
whorl. Concealed. Not like home, eh? You conceive that its former
umpopulation dead, eh? Extinct. Everyone does, even, er, myself.
Ask how I know, and I amahconstrained to respond that I do
not. I, um, assume it. Youahsimilarly? Synonymously, eh?
I nodded, wondering how to ask him what I most desired to know.
* *
The truth is that I grew frightened. The Short Sun was setting
without the least hint of a breeze, and the fishing line I had put
out had caught nothing. With the water and food I had brought,
I could spend one more day sitting in an idle boat with some comfort,
but after that the matter would become serious. I had been
thinking about the gods, as I have indicated already. I decided to
venture a prayer. After all, if the gods I addressed did not hear it,
was that my fault or theirs? The only question was which I should
address, and I soon found that I could make convincing arguments
for three.
First, Pas. He was the greatest of all, and it seemed that Silk
might have influence with him. Silk had been my staunch friend, as
well as my teacher.
An even better case might be made for Scylla. I had come from
her sacred city, where I was born; and I was trying to reach New
Viron, which is her town as well, at least nominally. Besides which,
she is the goddess of water, and I was on the water and would soon
be in need of drinking water.
Last the Outsider, whose case was nearly as good. Of the three,
he seemed most apt to hear my prayer. No god, perhaps, had much
reason to think well of me; but he had more than any other. Also,
he had been Silks favorite, and when Silk did not say that he trusted
no god at all (which to tell the truth he frequently did) he said that
the Outsider was the only god he trusted.
To be safe, I decided to address all three jointly. I knelt, and
found myself tongue-tied. How could I address those three as a
group? Pas might or might not be Silk, in part at least. Sinew had
been quite correct about that. From what Auk and Chenille had
told Nettle and me, Pass daughter Scylla was willful, violent, and
vindictive. If ever a goddess seemed apt to resent being put in second
place, it was she.
The Outsider seemed to me at that time as faceless and mysterious
as the god or gods of the ancient inhabitants of this whorl
we call Blue. He was, moreover, the god of outcasts and outlaws,
of the broken and discarded. I considered myself neither an outcast
nor an outlaw; and far from being discarded, I was about to undertake
a mission of utmost importance for my town. Such being
the case, what could I find to say to him? That I had no claim on
his benevolence, but hoped for his help without one?
In the end, I prayed to whatever god might hear, stressing the
helplessness and hopelessness we settlers felt, who had left our
manteions and their Sacred Windows behind us, with so much else that
we held dear, in obedience to Pas. A wind from the west, north, or
east would be of greatest service to me, I told the hypothetical god.
I had to go to New Viron, and eventually reach Pajarocua town
quite unknown to mebefore its lander lifted off. The feeblest
breeze would be more than welcome, if only it would move my
boat.
Had I ended my prayer there, I might have saved myself an
infinity of fear and dismay; but I did not. Out of my heart I spoke
of my loneliness and of the feelings of isolation that had swept over
me as I waited half a day and more for a change in weather. Then
I promised to learn all that I could about the Outsider and the gods
of this whorl, to honor Pas and Scylla most highly if I ever returned
to the whorl in which I was born, and to do anything in my power
to bring them both here if they were not here already. I also (but
this was to myself) solemnly swore to buy sweeps when I got to
New Viron; and I recited every prayer that I could recall.
All this, as you may imagine, occupied quite some time. When
I lifted my head at last, it was already shadelow, with only the
smallest crescent of the Short Sun visible above the western horizon.
Day was passing; but something else had gone before it, or so I
felt. For what must have been half a dozen minutes, I watched the
Short Sun set and looked about me, hoping to learn what it had
been. The sloop seemed unchanged, with only a trifle more water
in its bilge than there had been after I had bailed it. The sky was
darker, and its few clouds ruddy in place of white, but that was only
to be expected. The dim and distant shore of Main (I thought of
it as distant, at least) was nearly black now, but otherwise the same.
At length it came to me: the trolling seabird had vanished. I
had complained, most probably to no god at all, of loneliness. I
had begged for company. And the only living thing in sight had
been taken away. Here was proof of the cruelty of the gods, or of
their absence from the whorl to which their king and father had
consigned us.
Thinking of it I began to laugh, but was interrupted by a loud
plop as my fishing float was jerked beneath the silvery surface. I
reached for the line. It broke and vanished before I could touch it,
leaving me with two slack cubits or so tied to a belaying pin. I was
still staring down at the water when the sloop rocked so violently
that I was almost thrown overboard.
The horror of it will never leave me entirely. Looking behind
me, I saw great, coarse claws, each as thick as the handle of our ax,
scrabbling for hold on the port gunwale and rowling its wood like
so many gouges. A moment later the head appeared and shot toward
me, the clash of its three jaws like the slamming of double
doors. I threw myself backward to escape it, and fell into the sea.
I nearly drowned. Not because of the roughness of the waterthere
was nonenor because of the weight of tunic, trousers, and
boots; but out of sheer panic. The leatherskin would release its hold
on the sloop, swim under it, and kill me in a second or two; it
seemed completely certain, and paralyzed by terror as I was, I was
unable to conceive of an escape and equally unable to ready myself
for death. Surely, these were the longest moments of my life.
Sea and air were still, and at last it came to me that the noises
I heard resulted from the leatherskins continued efforts to climb
aboard. It was not swimming swiftly and silently beneath the hull
as I had feared, but struggling with idiotic ferocity to go straight
to the place in which it had last seen me.
I am a strong swimmer, and I considered the possibility of
swimming ashore. I knew it was a league or more away, because it
had been almost out of sight when I stood in the waist of the sloop;
but the sea was calm and warm, and if I paced myself carefully I
might succeed.
An instant more, and I realized that I would have no chance
whatever. The leatherskin would follow me over the starboard
gunwale, and once it was back in the water was certain to hear my
splashings and track me down. However slender it might be, my
only chance was to reclaim the sloop the moment that the
leatherskin returned to the sea.
By the time I had understood that, I had managed to kick off
my boots. Diving so as to make less noise, I swam to the bow,
surfaced, and risked grasping the bowsprit Sinew and I had added
when it had become apparent that our new sloop would benefit
from more foresail.
The sloop was still rocking violently; it was clear that the leatherskin
had not given up its struggle to clamber aboard. I waited,
trying very hard to breathe without gasping, and heard, and felt,
the impact as its great inflexible body crashed to the bottom of the
sloop, which sank under its weight until the freeboard was a scant
hand.
I pulled myself up, and risked a look.
It was a sight I shall never forget. The leatherskin, one of the
largest I have seen, stood with six massive legs and half its weight
on the starboard gunwale, over which silver water cascaded. Its
long, corded neck was stretched toward the last fleck of the vanishing
Short Sun, its mouth so wide agape that every spike of its thousand
fangs stabbed outward. Before I could have drawn breath, it
had tumbled over the side and back into the oily sea.
The bowsprit was jerked up as if by the mighty hand, and I
with it, although I nearly lost my grip. When it plunged down again
to strike the sea (for the foundering sloop was pitching as though
in a gale) I was able to throw myself onto the foredeck.
By the time I had scrambled to my feet, the leatherskin had
heard me and turned back, its head above the surface and its
ponderous bulk moving so rapidly below that the sea swirled and
frothed above it. Floundering knee-deep, I got the harpoon I had
re-stowed that afternoon; and when the leatherskins huge claws
gripped the starboard gunwale and its hideous jaws had snapped
shut upon the barbed head, I rammed the harpoon so deep that its
fangs actually tore the skin of my right hand. It fell back into the
water, its head dripping bloody foam, and was lost to my sight, the
harpoon line hissing after it as it sounded.
I was afraid that it might snatch the boat under, and bailed
frantically, telling myself again and again that I must cut the line,
which was tied to a ringbolt in the keel. I groped for it, terrified
that a loop of the uncoiling line would catch my wrist or my ankle.
But although I would have sworn an hour before that I could put
my hand on that ringbolt in the dark, I would not find it.
The leatherskin surfaced thirty cubits from the bow, snorting
blood and water. In less than a minute, the sloop was jerked along
behind it, listing fearfully and making more speed than it ever had
under sail. I lunged forward (I had been too far aft searching for
the ringbolt) to cut the line, but before I could, the leatherskin had
done the job for me. The line went slack.
By that time the first stars were out. I ought to have finished
bailing and recoiled the line, I suppose, and no doubt done other
things as wellgotten out our little tin lantern and lit it.
But I did not. I sat in the stern instead, where I was accustomed
to sit, with my trembling hands resting on the tiller; and tried to
catch my breath, and felt the hammering of my heart, and tasted
the sweet-salt tang of the sea. Spat, and spat again, too tired and
shaken to get up and break out a fresh bottle of water.
Green rose larger and brighter than any star, a flying whorl of
visible width, where the stars are but twinkling points of light. I
watched it climb above the dim white cliffs and swaying incense
willows, and wondered whether Silk had seen it, at the bottom of
the grave in his dream (where it would have been a fit ornament)
and forgotten it when he awakenedor perhaps had only forgotten
to tell me about it. Even if it had been there, he would not have
known what a horror he saw.
After an hour or more had passed, it occurred to me that if the
leatherskin had arrived a few minutes later it would almost certainly
have killed me. By the last rays of the Short Sun I had scarcely
escaped it.
In the dark...
The thought re-energized me, although I cannot explain why
it should. I lit the lantern and ran it up the mast, found the bailer
and resumed work, wearily scooping up water as black as ink and
flinging it over the side. When I was a boy, we had pumps to raise
the water from our wells; none but very backward country people
and the poorest of the poor dropped buckets down their wells and
hauled them up again; I thought as I worked how much easier a
similar device would make it to empty a boat half filled with water,
and resolved to build one when I could, and thought about how
such a thing might be constructeda tube of copper or waxwood,
a plunger that would first draw the water up, and then, the
positions of the valves being reversed by the motion of the handle,
force it out another opening and back into the sea.
I longed for paper, pen, and ink. There was plenty of paper in
the cargo chests, but I would not have dared to open them for fear
it would get wet; and I had no ink and nothing with which to make
my drawings, anyway.
Bailing is easy at first, when the water is high. It grows more
difficult (as I suppose everyone knows) as it progresses. When my
own bailer was scraping wood, I heard a soft and almost stealthy
sound that seemed to have returned from the distant past, a whisper
of sound that I associated with some similar labor long, long ago,
with youth, and with the acrid smell of yellow dust. I left off bailing,
straightened up to rest my back, listened, and heard, in addition to
that remembered and practically inaudible rusding sigh, the faint
creaking of the mast.
The swell was running a trifle higher now, I thought, and rocking
us; but the sloop felt as steady under my feet as any floor. The
faint rusding returned, perhaps minutely louder, and this time I
knew it for what it wasor rather, for what it had been: the sound
my father made turning over the pages of his ledger while I swept
the floor of his shop. Day was done, palaestra was over, and the
shop was about to close. Time to enter the sales, so many few of
this and many fewer of that, which would have to be reordered at
the end of the month or perhaps at the end of the year. Time to
tote up the bits in the cash box and calculate that the total would
not quite cover the cost of dinner tonight for Horn (who was helping
around the shop so very unwillingly), the rest of the sprats, and
the wife.
I spoke aloud to no one, saying, Time to close, and went aft
to where the pages of Silks book were turning themselves, page
after water-spotted page, upon one of the chests, in the faintest
possible breeze.
Time to close.
So it was, and I thought about that then, I believe for the first
time ever. My boyhood was over and done with long ago, and my
young manhood was behind me. I had married because it had
seemed natural for Nettle and me to marry as we had planned from
childhood. We would not willingly separate as long as we both
lived, no matter how much distance might separate us; and if she
should die before me, I would not marry again. Life and chance
had given us three sons; we would have liked a daughter as well, a
daughter certainly, or even two; but it was too late for that now,
perhaps. Or if not too late, it would be when I returned from the
Long Sun Whorl.
Time to close, to tote up accounts.
That, as I realized sitting alone upon the quiet sea, had been
the chief reason I had so readily accepted the task those five people
had come to persuade me to undertake. How surprised they had
been! They had brought food, tents, and trunks full of clothing,
expecting to spend a week or more on Lizard; but in my books Silk
was an account that had never been closed, one so large that it
dwarfed all others. At fifteen, I had thought him the greatest of
great men. At thirty-five, only a little taller, thick-bodied and nearly
bald, I thought him a great man still.
I closed the book, and secured it in the cubby under the foredeck.
Yet there were half a dozen other possibilities. No more settlers
had reached us from Old Viron for years now, and Silk might have
died aboard a lander that had failed to reach either whorl; everyone
knew that not all the landers that left the Whorl landed safely on
Blue or Green.
Equally, he might have been killed on Siyufs orders at a later
date, or been deposed by her or some other Trivigaunti; in which
case he might be living in exile.
With or without Hyacinth, he might have boarded a lander that
took him to Green, and if he had he was presumably dead. Equally,
he might have landed on some part of Blue remote from us. (This
still seems possible to me, as I wrote when I began this straggling
history.) Before they left Lizard, I had brought up the possibility
with Marrow and the rest, and they had agreed that it could not
be discounted entirely. Here I am in a part of Blue a very considerable
distance from New Viron, and hear nothing of Silk; but that
means nothing. If he were a hundred leagues east of Gaon and
meor on Shadelowit would explain everything.
I may find him yet. Perseverance and prayer! All is not lost until
I give up the search.
* *
Having said all that, and made it clear that I meant it, I retreated
to this pleasant room and shut and barred the door. Here
I sit, surrounded by a reverent hush, having prayed and read this
rambling account of the beginning of my adventures through, and
prayed again. All with intervals of pacing up and down, slamming
my fist into my palm, and providing food and fresh water against
the return of the pet who is no longer on his perch.
I am stunned to find this account as worthless as it is. It tells
me nothing about myself (or Nettle, or the boys, or even Patera
Silk) that I did not know already. It contains no plans for returning
home, the very thing I should be thinking about most intently. Yet
under these circumstances what plans can there be?
I must free myself from these handsome, generous, feckless
people upon some pretense, and somehow procure a swift horse.
Conceivably some other beast, although I would think a horse
would be best. I must escape with cards enoughor the new
rectangles of gold we use for cards sometimes hereto enable me to
buy a small but seaworthy vessel when I reach the coast. After that,
it will be in the hands of the Outsider and the weather gods of
Blueof the monstrous goddess whom Seawrack called the
Mother, perhaps.
There is my plan, then. Under these circumstances, how can I
plan anything more? The terrible aspect is that these people need
someone like me very badly, and I am in a sense responsible for my
own abduction.
As well as for them. They have made me their ruler, in name
and very nearly in fact, and I have accepted the office. I, who have
only a single wife for whom I long, now have no less than fifteen
moreall young enough to be my daughters. Fifteen graceful and
charming girls whom I sometimes permit as a very special favor to
sing and play for me while I sit dreaming of home.
No, not of Old Viron, though I have been calling Old Viron
home all my life. Dreaming of the house of logs at the foot of
the Tor we built when we were young, of the napping tent of
scraped and greased greenbuck skins upon the beach, and of eager,
explanations of papermaking made to Nettle andsometimesto
the wind. Dreaming of Lizard, the rushing water and thumping
hammers of my mill, the measured clanking of the big gear, the
crawl of the laden wire cloth, and the golden glory of the Short
Sun sinking into the sea beyond a Tail Bay crammed with prime
softwood.
Once I planned to print our paper as well as make it. But I
have written about that. What would be or could be the use of
setting it down again?
3
THE SIBYL AND THE SORCERESS
He was the same man.
I dont need to talk to you, he said. I know you, Horn, and
know youll do your best. Thats all I need to know. But maybe you
need to talk to me. If theres anything I can tell you, I will. If theres
anything you need, Ill supply it if I can, or get somebody to.
I told him that I had come largely to buy provisions and get
directions, that I had wanted to leave most of the food we had with
my family; and I reminded him that he had promised to try to locate
someone who had been to Pajarocu and could provide firsthand
information regarding the best routes.
Foods no problem. He waved it away. Ill give
you a barrel of apples, some dried stuff, cornmeal, and leavening powder. He
paused, looking thoughtful. A ham, too. A case of wine and a cask
of pickled pork.
I doubted that I would need that much, and I told him so.
Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have
it. How was the voyage down?
I shrugged. I lost my harpoon.
Ill get you another one, but it may take a day or two.
With thoughts of the leatherskin still fresh in my mind, I asked
whether he could lend me a slug gun, adding that I could not afford
to buy one.
His bushy eyebrows rose. Not a needier? You had one in the
old days. Still got it?
I shook my head.
Ill get you one. He leaned back, sucking his teeth. It may
take longer, I dont know. If worst comes to worst, Ill give you
mine. I doubt that Ill ever need it again.
Id prefer a slug gun. Ive heard that someone here is making
them now, and making cartridges for them.
He rose with the help of his stick, saying, Ive got a couple
in the next room. Ill show them to you.
It was a far larger house than ours, though not, I believe, so
solidly built. The room to which he led me held cabinets, several
well-made chairs, and a big table covered with papers. I bent to
look at them.
He saw me, and picked up a sheet. Your stuff. Just about all
of it is. The traders have it sometimes, mostly off a lander if you
ask me. Theyre surprised to find out were making our own here in
New Viron. He chuckled. We means you, this time. I tell
them we can make slug guns and mean Gyrfalcon, and we can make paper
and mean you.
He handed me the sheet and took out a key. We can do a
couple of other things that mean a lot more. We can make a paper
mill, and make a lathe and a milling machine for metal that are
good enough to let us copy a slug gun. But I dont tell them that.
We want sales, not competitors.
I protested that he made no profit when I sold my paper.
He smiled. Sometimes you sell it to me.
Yes, and Im extremely grateful to you. Youre a good
customer.
Then I sell it to them, some of it. I dont make anything when
Gyrfalcon sells his slug guns either, or not directly. But it brings
money here, and sooner or later I get my share. So do others. You
did your own woodworking, didnt you, building your mill?
I had, and said so.
What about the metal stuff? Did you do that, too?
Others made those for us. They had to extend us credit, but
we repaid them some time ago.
The key turned in the lock, and the door of a cabinet swung
open. Then you could make the paper Gyrfalcon and his workmen
used when they drew out the parts for this slug gun. One hand
scratches the other, Horn.
I thought you said they copied the parts of a slug gun
someone brought from home.
Oh, they did. But its better to measure once and draw it up
than to keep on measuring. I wont ask you to tell me which of
these was made back in the old place and which here. You could
do it pretty easily, and so could any other man who had his wits
about him. I want you to take them both in your hands, though.
Look them over, and tell me if you think one ought to shoot better
than the other, and why.
I did, opening the action of each first to assure myself that it was
unloaded. The new ones a little stiff, I said.
The old ones smoother and a fraction lighter. But I
dont see why they shouldnt shoot equally well.
They do. Theyre both mine, and Ill consider it an honor to
give either one to you, if you want it. Marrow paused, his face
grave. The town ought to pay you. We cant, or not nearly enough
to make you want to go for the money. The question is, is New
Viron going to be richer in a few years, or poorer? And I dont
know. But thats all it is, not the rubbish about morals and so forth
that the old Prolocutor goes on about. We need Silk for the same
reason we need better corn, and were asking you to bring him here
to us for nothing.
I picked up the newly made slug gun, and told Marrow that I
would need a sling of some kind for it.
Arent you going to argue it with me? Your Caldé Silk would
have, if you ask me.
No, I told him. If the parents are poor enough, the children
starve. That would be enough for Silk, and its enough for me.
Well, youve the right of it. If theyre poor enough, the
parents do, too. That boy of yours would tell me people can hunt, but
you think about filling every belly here, year in and year out, by
hunting. Theyd have to scatter out, and when they were, every
familyd have to hunt for itself. No more paper and no more books,
no carpentry because theyd be moving camp every few days and
tables and so ons too heavy to carry. Pretty soon they wouldnt
even have pack saddles.
I said it would not matter, since those who owned horses or
mules would eat them after a year or two, and he nodded gloomily
and dropped into a chair. You like that gun?
Yes. Very much.
Its yours. Take it out to your boat when you go back. Take
that green box on the bottom shelf, too. Its cartridges from a
lander and never been opened. Our new ones work, but theyre not
as good.
I said that I would prefer new cartridges nevertheless, and he
indicated a wooden box that held fifty. I told him about the paper
I had on the sloop, and offered it to him to offsetin part, at
leastthe cost of the slug gun and the food he had promised me.
He shook his head. Im giving you the gun and the rest of it.
The cartridges and harpoon, and the apples and wine and the other
stuff. Its the least I can do. But if youll let me have that paper,
Ill give whatever I get for it to your wife. Would you like me to
do that? Or I can hold the money for you, until you get back.
Give it to Nettle, please. I left her with little enough, and she
and Sinew are going to have to buy rags and more wood soon.
He regarded me from under his brows. You took your own
boat, too, when I was going to let you have one of mine.
Sinew will build a new one, Im sure. Hell have to, and I
believe it will be good that he has something to do besides run our
mill, something he can watch grow under his hands. That will be
important, at first particularly.
Youre deeper than you look. Your book shows it.
I said that I hoped I was deep enough, and asked whether he
had found anyone who had actually been to Pajarocu.
Not yet, but theres a new trader in the harbor every few days.
You want to wait?
For a day or two, at least. I think it would be worth that to
have firsthand information.
Want to see their letter again? Theres nothing there to tell
where it is, not to me, anyhow. But you might see something there
I missed, and you hardly looked at it back on your island.
I own only the southern part, the southern third or so. No,
I dont want to read it again, or at least not now. Can you have
somebody copy the entire thing for me, in a clearer hand? Id like
to have a copy to take with me.
No trouble. My clerk can do it. Again, he looked at me
narrowly. Why does my clerk bother you?
It shouldnt.
I know that. What I want to know is why it does.
When we were in the tunnels and on the lander, and for years
after we landed, I thought... Words failed me, and I turned
away.
You figured wed all be free and independent here? Like you?
Reluctantly, I nodded.
You got a farm, you and your girl. Your wife. You couldnt
make a go of it. Couldnt raise enough to feed yourselves, even.
This is too painful. There is pain enough in the whorl already,
should I inflict more on myself?
* *
(I should have told Sinew that the needier I was leaving with
him had been his mothers. It was the one she had taken from
General Saba and given to me outside the entrance to the tunnels,
and I have never seen a better one. Later, of course, I did.)
More pain, but this I must put down. For my own sake, I
intend to make it as brief as possiblejust a paragraph or two, if I
can.
When I returned to the sloop, I found that I had been robbed,
my cargo chests broken into and my paper gone, with much
cordage and a few other things that I had brought from Lizard.
Before I had left to go to Marrows, I had asked the owner of
the boat tied up beside mine, a man I had attended palaestra with,
to watch the sloop for me. He had promised he would. Now I went
to speak to him. He could not meet my eyes, and I knew that it
was he himself who had robbed me. I fought him and beat him,
but I did not get my paper back.
After that, bruised and bleeding, I sought help from Gyrfalcon,
Blazingstar, and Eschar, but received none. Eschar was away on one
of his boats. Gyrfalcon and Blazingstar were both too busy to see me.
Or so I was told by their clerks.
I received a little help from Calf, who swore that it was all he
could give, and none at all from my other brothers; in the end I
had to go back to Marrow, explain the situation, and beg to borrow
three cards. He agreed, took my bond for the amount plus eight
percent, then tore it up as I watched. I owe him a great deal more
than the three cards and this too-brief acknowledgment.
While I had talked with Marrow before I was robbed, I had
considered how I could learn something that His Cognizance had
been unwilling to tell me when we had conferred the day I made
port. Eventually I realized that Marrow was more than acute
enough to see through any sleight of mine; the only course open
to me was to ask him outright, which I did.
The girls still alive, he said, stroking his chin,
but I havent seen or heard tell of the old sibyl in quite
a time.
Neither have I, I told him, but I should have. She was
here in town, and I was out on Lizard, mostly, and it always seemed
possible I would run across her someday when I brought paper to
the market. Full of self-recriminations I added, I suppose
I imagined that she would live forever, that she would always be here if I
wanted her.
Marrow nodded. Boys think like that.
Youre right. Mine do, at least. When youre so young that
things have changed very little during your lifetime, you suppose
that they never will. Its entirely natural, but it is a bad mistake and
wrong even in the moral sense more often than not.
I waited for his comment, but he made none.
So now... Well, Im going to look for Silk, and hes far away
if hes alive at all. And it seems even more wrong for me to leave
without having seen Maggie. Shes no longer a sibyl, by the way.
Yes, she is. Marrow was almost apologetic. Our
Prolocutors made her one again.
He didnt tell me that. (In point of fact, he had flatly refused
to tell me anything about her.) Did you know I talked to him?
Marrow nodded.
That was what I wanted to learn, or the principal thing. I
wanted to find out what happened to her and Mucor, but he
wouldnt tell me or even say why he wouldnt. You must know
where they are, and he concedes that theyre still alive.
Ive heard talk from the people I do business with, thats all.
I dont keep track of everybody, no matter what people may think.
Marrow folded both hands on his stick, and regarded me for a long
moment before he spoke again. I doubt I know as much as he
does, but she wanted to help out here, teaching the children like
she used to. That was why he made her a sibyl again, and she used
to mop and dust and cook for him. Only he wouldnt let the crazy
girl in the house.
I smiled to myself. It would not have been easy to keep Mucor
out.
There was some trouble about her anyhow. About the crazy
granddaughter.
He waited for me to speak, so I nodded. Mucor had often
thrown food and dishes at Netde and me when we had cared for
her.
They said she made other people crazy, too. I dont believe
it and never did, but thats what they said. One day they were gone.
If you ask me, the old Prolocutor gave them a shove. Hes never
admitted it that Ive heard of, but I think probably he did. Maybe
he gave them a little help moving, too. This is, Marrow rolled his
eyes toward the ceiling, five years ago. About that. Could be six.
He rocked back and forth in his big, solidly built chair, one
hand on his stick and the other on the finale of the chair arm, where
its grip had given the waxed wood a smoother finish as well as a
darker tone. I didnt put my nose in it, but somebody told me
hed found them a farm way out. To tell you the truth I thought
some wild animald get the mad girl, the granddaughter, and
Mayterad come back.
I said, I take it that didnt happen. Im glad.
Thats right, you knew them both. Id forgot. I went to the
palaestra in my time, just like you, so I knew Maytera, too, way
back then. I never did understand how she could have a granddaughter
at all. Adopted, is what everybody says.
Clearly, Marrow had not read as much of our book as he pretended;
I tried to make my nod noncommittal. Are they still on
the farm His Cognizance found for them? Id like to see them while
Im here.
Once more, Marrow regarded me narrowly. Island, just like
you. Im surprised you dont know.
When I did not comment, he added. Just a rock, really. House
looks like a haystack. Thats what they say. Up in the air to keep
the hay dry, you know how the farmers do, and made of sticks.
It seemed too bizarre to credit. I asked whether he had seen it
himself, and he shook his head. Driftwood I guess it is, really. Way
down south. Itll take you all day, even with a good wind.
* *
He had been surprised that I knew nothing of Maytera Marble
(as she was again, apparently) and Mucor, although they lived on
an island two days sail from mine. The truth, I thought, might well
be that I did know something. Boats that put into Tail Bay to trade
for paper had spoken sometimes of a witch to the south, a lean hag
who camped upon a naked rock and would tell fortunes or compounded
charms for food or cloth. When I had heard those tales,
lt: had not occurred to me that this witch might be Mucor. I reviewed
them as I sailed that day, and found various reasons to think
she wasbut several more to think that she was not. In the end, I
decided to leave the matter open.
Evening came, and I still had not caught sight of the house of
sticks that Marrow had described. I was afraid I might pass it in the
dark, so I furled my sails and made a sea anchor, and spent the
night upon the open water, very grateful for the calm, warm
weather.
It was about midmorning of the second day out when I caught
sight of the hut, not (as I had supposed it would be) near shore to
port, but a half league and more to starboard upon a sheer black
rock so lonely that it did not appear to be a separated part of the
mainland at all, but the last standing fragment of some earlier
continent, a land devoured by the sea not long after the Outsider built
this whorl.
Rubbish, surely. Still, I have never been in any other place that
felt quite so lonely, unless Seawrack sang.
* *
Several trials were needed; but guided as I was by past experience,
we soon had this very satisfactory ink. Glue is made here by
boiling bones, hoofs, and horns, as I suppose it must be everywhere.
We mixed it with the oil pressed from flax seed and soot, and then
(it was this that we had to learn) boiled everything again with a
little water. It dries a trifle faster, I believe, than the ink you and I
made with sap, and so may be a step nearer the inks my father
cornpounded in the back of our shop. At any rate it is a good dark
black and satisfactory in every other way, as you see.
My father, Smoothbone, made colored inks as well. There is
no reason we should not have them, too. It is clearly just a matter
of finding the right colored powders to put in instead of soot. I
have a bright young man looking into that. My clerks say that they
have never seen colored inks in our market here, or in this big pink
and blue house we call my palace for that matter. I imagine they
would trade very wellwhich means, I suppose, that I am starting
to think like Marrow. Since our positions are somewhat similar, that
is not surprising.
Here I am tempted to write about the market in New Viron,
and compare it, perhaps, to the one here; but I will save that for
some other opening of the pen case.
Now back to the sloop.
She was said to be tall, too. The truth is that she is not, although
her thinness and erect carriage, and her short, ragged skirt,
combine to make her appear so.
The Mucor I had known would never have spoken to me first.
This one whom I had heard called the witch and the sorceress did,
but seemed at first to be recalling an almost forgotten language as
she licked her cracked lips. What... Do... You... Want...?
I said, I must speak with you, Mucor. I showed her the
bacon, then patted the sack of cornmeal I was carrying on my
shoulder I brought you these, thinking you might need them. I hope
you like them.
Without another word, she turned and went into the hut,
which was larger than I had expected. When I saw that its rough
door remained open, I followed her.
The only light came through the open doorway and a god-gate
in the middle of the conical roof. For half a minute, perhaps, I stood
just inside the door, blinking. A motionless figure in black sat with
its back to me, facing the ashes of a small fire that had burned itself
out in a circle of blackened stones some time before. Its aged hands
clasped a long peeled stick of some light-colored wood. Mucor
stood beside it, one hand upon its shoulder, regarding me silently.
Beyond them, on the other side of the circle of stones, something
stirred; in that near darkness, I heard rather than saw it.
Pointing at the figure in black, I asked, Is that Maytera
Marble? and her head pivoted until it seemed to regard a place
somewhat to my left. The metal face thus revealed was the smooth oval
that I recalled so well, yet it appeared somehow misshapen, as if it
were diseased.
After a pause that I considered much too long, Mucor said,
This is my grandmother. She knows the future.
I put down my sack and laid the bacon on it. Then she should
be able to tell me a great many things I want to know. First I have
a question for you, however. Do you know who I am?
Horn.
Yes, I am. Do you remember Nettle?
Mucor only stared.
Nettle and I used to bring you your food sometimes when you lived
in the Caldés Palace. She did not reply, so I added,
Silks palace.
Maytera Marble whispered, Horn? Horn?
Yes, I said, and went to her and knelt before her. Its me,
Maytera.
Youre a good, good boy to come to see us, Horn.
Thank you. I found it hard to speak, impossible when I
looked at her. Thank you, Maytera. Maytera, I said I used to take
your granddaughters food up for you. I want you to know that
Ive brought her some now. Its only bacon and a sack of cornmeal,
but theres more food on my boat. She can have anything there she
wants. Or that you want for her. What about apples? I have a barrel
of them, good ones.
Slowly her metal head bobbed up and down. The apples.
Bring us three apples.
Ill be right back, I told her.
Mucors hand scarcely moved, but it brought me to a halt as I
went through the doorway. You will eat with us?
Certainly, I said, if you can spare the food.
There is a flat rock. Down there. You stepped on it.
At first I supposed that she intended one of the flat stones that
made up the floor of their hut; then I recalled the stone she meant
and nodded. When I tied up the sloop. Is that the one?
There will be fish on it. Bring them up, too.
I told her that I would be happy to, and discovered that it was
easy as well as pleasant to step out of that hut and into the sunlight.
The steep path from the more or less level top of the island to
the little inlet in which I had moored gave me a good view of it
(and indeed of the entire inlet) at one point, and there were no fish
on the rock she had indicated. I continued my descent, however,
thinking I would bring up the apples with something else in lieu of
the fish. When I reached the rock, three fish flopped and struggled
there so vigorously that it seemed certain that all three were about
to escape. I dove for them and caught two, but the third slipped
from between my fingers and vanished with a splash.
A moment afterward, it leaped from the water and back onto
the rock, where I was able to catch it. I dropped all three into an
empty sack I happened to have on board, and hung it in the water
while I got three apples from Marrows barrel and tied them up in
a scrap of sailcloth. As an afterthought, I put a small bottle of cooking
oil into one pocket, and a bottle of drinking water into another.
When I returned to the hut, there was a fire blazing in the
circle of stones. After giving Maytera Marble the apples, I filleted
the fish with Sinews hunting knife, and Mucor and I cooked them
in a most satisfactory fashion by impaling fillets wrapped in bacon
on sticks of driftwood. I also mixed some of the cornmeal with my
oil (I had forgotten to bring salt), made cakes, and put them into
the ashes at the edge of the fire to bake.
How is dear Nettle? Maytera Marble asked.
I said that she had been well when I left her; and I went on to
explain that I had been chosen to return to the Long Sun Whorl
and bring Silk here, and that I was about to set out for a foreign
town called Pajarocu where there was said to be a lander capable
of making the return trip, as none of ours were. I went into
considerably more detail than I have here, and she and Mucor listened
to all of it in silence.
When I had finished, I said, You will have guessed already
how you can help me, if you will. Mucor, will you locate Silk for
me, and tell me where he is?
There was no reply.
When no one had spoken for some time, I raked one of the
cornmeal cakes out of the fire and ate it. Maytera Marble asked
what I was eating; that was the first time, I believe, that I realized
she had gone blind, although I should have known it an hour before.
I said, One of the little cakes I made, Maytera. Ill give your
granddaughter one, if shell eat it.
Give me one, Maytera Marble said; and I raked out another
cake and put it into her hand.
Here is an apple for you. She rubbed it against her torn and
dirty habit, and groped for me. I thanked her and accepted it.
Will you put this one in my granddaughters lap, please,
Horn? She can eat it after shes found Patera for you.
I took the second apple, and did as she asked.
She whistled shrilly then, startling me; at the sound, a young
hus emerged from the shadows on the other side of the fire, at once
greedy and wary. Babbie, come here! she called, and whistled
again. Here, Babbie!
It advanced, the thick, short claws some people call hooves loud
on the stone floor, its attention divided between me and the food
Maytera Marble held out to it. I found its fierce eyes disconcerting,
although I felt reasonably sure it would not charge. After hesitating
for some while, it accepted the food, the apple in one stubby-toed
forepaw and the cornmeal cake in its mouth, giving me a better
look than I wanted at the sharp yellow tusks that were only just
beginning to separate its lips.
As it retreated on seven legs to the other side of the fire, Maytera
Marble said, Isnt Babbie cute? The captain of some foreign
boat gave him to my granddaughter.
I may have made some suitable reply, although I am afraid I
only grunted like a hus.
Its practically like having a child with us, Maytera Marble
declared. One of those children ones heart goes out to, because
the gods have refrained from providing it with an acute intellect,
for their own good and holy reasons. Babbie tries so very hard to
please us and make us happy. You simply cant imagine.
That was perfectly true.
The captain was afraid that ill-intentioned persons might land
here and fall upon us while we slept. Its active mostly at night.
From what I have been given to understand, they all are, just like
that bird dear Patera Silk had.
I said that while I had never hunted hus, according to what my
son had told me, that was correct.
So dear little Babbies always active for me. She sighed, the
weary hish of a mop cleaning a floor of tiles. Because its always
night for me. Another sigh. I know that it must be the gods
will for me, and I try to accept it. But Ive never wanted to see
again quite as much as I do today with you come to visit us, Horn.
I tried to express my sympathy, embarrassing both myself and
her.
No. No, its all right. The gods will for me, Im sure. And
yetand yet... Her old womans hands clasped the white stick
as if to break it, then let it fall to wrestle each other in her lap.
I said that in my opinion there were evil gods as well as benevolent
ones, and recounted my experience the week before with
the leatherskin, ending by saying, I had prayed for company, Maytera,
and for a wind, to whatever gods might hear me. I got both,
but I dont believe the same god can have sent both.
Iyou know that Ive become a sibyl again, Horn? You must
because youve been calling me Maytera.
I explained that Marrow had told me.
With my husband and I separated, and no doubt separated
permanentlywell, you understand, Im sure.
I said I did.
We had begun a child, a daughter. She sighed again. It was
hard, dreadfully hard, to find parts, or even things we could make
them from. We never got far with her, and I dont suppose shell
ever be born unless my husband takes a new wife, poor little thing.
I tried to be sympathetic.
So there wasnt any reason not to. I couldnt have my own
child anymore, the child that had been my dream for all those
empty years. Since I could not, I thought it might be nice to teach
bio children like you again, the way I used to when I was younger.
The ordinances of the Chapter let married women become sibyls,
His Cognizance said, under special circumstances like mine, provided
that the Prolocutor consents. He did, and I took the oath all
over again. Very few of us have ever taken it more than once.
I nodded, I believe. I was paying more attention to Mucor,
who sat silently with the apple untouched in her lap.
Are you listening, Horn?
Yes, I said. Yes, of course.
I taught there in New Viron for a good many years. And I
kept house for His Cognizance, which was a very great honor.
People are so intolerant, though.
Some are, at least.
The Chapter has fought that intolerance for as long as Ive
been alive, and it has achieved a great deal. But I doubt that intolerance
will ever be rooted out altogether.
I agreed.
There are children, Horn, who are very much like little Babbie.
Not verbal, but capable of love, and very grateful for whatever
love they may receive. You would think every heart would go out
to them, but many dont.
I asked her then about Mucor, saying that I had not realized
it would take her so long to find Silk.
She has to travel all the way to the whorl in which we used
to live, Horn. Its a very long way, and even though her spirit flies
so fast, it must fly over every bit of it. When she arrives, shell have
to look for him, and when she finds him, shell have to return to
us.
I explained that it was quite possible that Silk was here on Blue,
or even on Green.
Maytera Marble shook her head, saying that only made things
worse. Poor little Babbies quite upset. He always is, every time
she goes away. He understands simple things, but you cant explain
something like that to him.
Privately, I wished that someone would explain it to me.
Hes really her pet. Arent you, Babbie? Her hands, the thin
old-woman hands she had taken from Maytera Roses body, groped
for the hus, although he was far beyond her reach. He loves her,
and I really think that she loves him, just as she loves me. But its
hard, very hard for them both here, because of the water.
For a moment I thought she meant the sea; then I said, I
assumed you had a spring here, Maytera.
She shook her head. Only rainwater from the rocks. It makes
little pools and so on, here and there, you know. My dear
granddaughter says there are deep crevices, too, where it lingers for a
long time. Ive had no experience with thirst, myself. Oh, ordinary
thirst in hot weather. But not severe thirst. Im told its terrible.
I explained that a spring high up on the Tor gave us the stream
that turned my mill, and acknowledged that I had never been thirsty
as she meant it either.
He must have water. Babbie must, just as she must. If it
doesnt rain soon... She shook her head.
Much too late, I remembered that the uncomfortably large object
in my pocket was a bottle of water. I gave it to her, and told
her what it was. She thanked me effusively; and I told her there
were many more on my boat, and promised to leave a dozen with
her.
You could go down and get them now, couldnt you, Horn?
While my granddaughters still away.
There had been a pathetic eagerness in Maytera Marbles voice;
and when I remembered that the water would not be of the smallest
value to her, I was deeply touched. I said that I did not want to
miss anything that Mucor said when she came back.
She will be gone a long, long time, Horn. This in her old
classroom tone. I doubt that shes even reached our old whorl yet.
Theres plenty of time for you to go down and get it, and I wish
you would.
Stubbornly, I shook my head; and after that, we sat in silence
except for a few inconsequential remarks for an hour or more.
At last I stood and told Maytera Marble that I would bring up
some water bottles, and made her promise to tell me exactly what
Mucor said if she spoke.
It had been morning when I arrived, but the Short Sun was
already past the zenith when I left the hut. I discovered that I was
tired, although I told myself firmly that I had done very little that
day. Slowly, I descended the path again, which was in fact far too
steep and dangerous for anyone to go up or down it with much
celerity.
At the observation point I have already mentioned, I stopped
for a time and studied the flat stone on which I had found our fish.
It was sunlit now, although it had been in shadow when I had failed
to see them; I told myself that they had certainly been there whether
I had seen them or not, then recalled their vigorous leaps. If in fact
they had been there when I had looked down at the sloop, they
would certainly have escaped before I reached them.
As I continued my descent to the inlet and my sloop, I realized
that it actually made no difference whether they had been there
when I looked or not. They had certainly not been present when I
had tied up. Even if I had somehow failed to see them, I would
have kicked them or stepped on them.
Mucor had been in my sight continuously from the time I had
encountered her outside her hut, and Maytera Marble from the time
I had gone in. Who, then, had left us the fish?
I rinsed the sack that had held the fish, put half a dozen water
bottles into it, and spent some time peering down into the calm,
clear water of the inlet, without seeing anything worth describing
here. One fish had regained the water, as the other two surely would
have if I had not caught them in time. It had been forced to leap
back onto the rock almost immediately.
By what?
I could not imagine, and I saw nothing.
Maytera Marble was waiting for me outside the hut. I asked
whether Mucor had returned, and she shook her head.
I have the water right here, Maytera. I swung the sack
enough to make the bottles clink. Ill put them anywhere you want
them.
Thats very, very good of you. My granddaughter will be
extremely grateful, Im sure.
I ventured to say that they could as easily live on the mainland
in some remote spot, and that although I felt sure their life there
would be hard, they could at least have all the fresh water they
wanted.
We did. Didnt I tell you? His Cognizance gave us a place like
that. WeIstill own it, I suppose.
I asked whether their neighbors had driven them away, and she
shook her head. We didnt have any. There were woods and rocks
and things on the land side, and the sea the other way. I used to
look at it. There was a big tree there that had fallen down but
wouldnt quite lay flat. Do you know what I mean, Horn?
Yes, I said. Certainly.
I used to walk up the trunk until I stood quite high in the
air, and look out over the sea from there, looking for boats, or just
looking at the weather we were about to get. It was a waste of time,
but I enjoyed it.
I tried to say that I did not think she had been wasting her
time, but succeeded only in sounding foolish.
Thank you, Horn. Thank you. Thats very nice of you. Look
at the sea, Horn, while you can. Look at it for me, if you wont do
it for yourself.
I promised I would, and did so as I spoke. The rock offered a
fine view in every direction.
It wasnt good soil, Maytera Marble continued. It was too
sandy. I grew a few things there, though. Enough to feed my granddaughter,
and a little bit over that I took to town and sold, or gave
the palaestra. I had a little vegetable patch in the garden at our
manteion. Do you remember? Vegetables and herbs.
I had forgotten it, but her words brought back the memory
very vividly.
Patera had tomatoes and berry brambles, but I had onions
and chives, marjoram and rosemary, and red and yellow peppers.
All sorts of things. Little red radishes in spring, and lettuces all
summer. I tried to grow the same things on our farm, and succeeded
with most of them. But my granddaughter would swim out
here and stay for days and days. It worried me.
Looking east to the mainland, I said, It would worry me, too.
Its a very long swim, and she cant be strong.
I built a little boat, then. I had to, so I could come out here
and get her. I found a hollow log and scraped out all the rotten
wood, and made ends for it. They were just big wooden plugs,
really, but they kept the water from running in. Sometimes she
would not go, and Id have to stay out here with her till she would.
That was why I built this little house. Then a storm came, a terrible
one. I thought it was going to blow our little house away. It didnt,
but it broke my boat. I cant swim, Horn.
She looked up as she said it in such a way that sunshine struck
her face, and I saw that her faceplate was gone. The lumps and
furrows that had seemed deformities were a host of mechanisms her
faceplate had hidden when I had known her earlier. Trying to ignore
them, I said, I can take you both back to the mainland in
my sloop, Maytera. Nettle and I built it to carry our paper to the
market in town, and it will carry the three of us easily.
She shook her head. She wouldnt go, Horn, and I wont
leave her out here alone. I only wishbut I dont worry about
falling off anymore. I tap on the stone with my stick, you see. She
demonstrated, rapping the rock between us. A man who came to
consult my granddaughter made it for me, so now I can always find
the edge.
Thats good.
It is. Yes, it is. I was feeling blue when you came, Horn. I feel
blue at times, and sometimes it lasts days and days.
Her free hand groped for me, and I stepped nearer so that she
could put it on my shoulder.
How tall youve grown! Why, youve taken me out of myself,
just by coming to see us. Not that I should ever be blue anyway. I
had good eyes for hundreds and hundreds of years. Most people
dont get to see things for anything like that long. Look at all the
children who die before theyre grown! Dead at fifteen or twelve
or ten, Horn, and I could name a dead child for you for every year
between fifteen and birth.
When she spoke again, the voice was Maytera Roses. My
other eyes. I had them less than a hundred years, and Marble ought
to have taken them when she took my hands and so many other
things. Taken the good one, I mean, for one was blind.
But I didnt. I left her eyes, because I never realized my own
were wearing out. Her processor, yes. I took that, but not her eye.
Horn?
Yes, Im still here, Maytera. Is there some way I can help
you?
You already have, by bringing us those nice bottles of water
for my granddaughter and her pet. That was very, very fine of you,
and I will never forget it. But youre going home, Horn? Isnt that
what you said? Going back toto the whorl we used to live in?
I told her that I was going to try to go wherever Silk was and
bring him to New Viron, which was what I had sworn to do; and
that I thought he was probably in Old Viron, in which case I was
going to go there if the people of Pajarocu would allow me on their
lander.
Then I want to ask a very great favor. Will you do me a very
great favor, Horn, if you can? Her free hand left my shoulder and
Went to her own face. My faceplate is gone. I took it off myself,
and put it away somewhere. Have I told you?
I shook my head, forgetting for a moment that she could not
see it.
We were here on this rock, my granddaughter and I, after the
storm, and one of my eyes just went out. I told myself that it was
all right, that the other one would probably last for years and years
yet, and I could take good care of my poor granddaughter with
one eye as well as I had with two.
She sounded so despondent that I said, We dont have to talk
about it if you dont want to.
I do. I must. It was only four days, Horn. Four days after my
left eye failed, my right eye failed, too. I took them out and reversed
them, because I knew there was a chance that one might work then,
but it didnt help. That was when I took my faceplate off, because
I felt somehow that it was in the way, that I was trying to look
through it. And I couldnt have. Its solid metal, aluminum I think.
They all are.
Not knowing what else to say, I said, Yes.
It didnt help, but Ive left it off ever since. My poor
granddaughter doesnt complain, and Im more comfortable without it
for some reason.
As she spoke, she had plucked her right eye from its socket.
Here, Horn. Take it, please. Its a bad part, and not of the
least use to me anymore.
Reluctantly, I let her put it into my hand, which she closed
around it for me with her own slender fleshlike fingers.
If I were to tell you what it is, the part number and all that,
it would be of very little use to you. But with the actual part, you
might be able to find another one, and youll recognize it if you
come across one.
I resolved then to make every effort to find two (at which I
have failed also) and told her so.
Thank you, Horn. I know you will. You were always such a
good boy. Sometimes its very hard to bear, but I shouldnt feel
blue. I really shouldnt. The gods have given me aa consolation
prize, I suppose youd call it. I can see into the future now, just as
my dear sib Maytera Mint could. Did I tell you?
I believe I must have said that I had always assumed she could
prophesy, as all sibyls could.
I wasnt any good at it, because I couldnt ever see the
pictures. I knew the things everybody knows, what an enlarged heart
means, and all those commonplace indicants. But I couldnt see
things in the entrails the way my dear sib could, and Patera, too.
Now I can. Isnt that strange? Now that Im blind, I have ulterior
vision. I cant see the entrails till I touch them. But when I do, I
see the pictures.
Silk, I knew, had prophesied in that way; but I also knew that
he had not had great faith in such prophesies. He had been both
fascinated by and skeptical of the entire procedure. Bearing all that
in mind, I asked whether she would be willing to prophesy for me,
provided I could supply a good big fish for a victim.
Why, yes, Horn. Im very flattered.
She paused, thinking. We must have another fire for your sacrifice,
however. A fire here outside. I built a little altar of stones,
too. Its what I use when the men who come in boats want me to
do it.
She began to walk slowly, searching left and right with the
white wand she carried; and for a moment I saw her, and the rock itself
and Mucor, as strangers must haveas the men in boats
she talked about no doubt saw them: a place and two women so
uncanny that I was amazed that anybody had the courage to consult
them.
I loaned Maytera the long hunting knife Sinew had given me,
and held my fish steady for her. She cut its throat neatly (not
through the gills as one commonly kills fish, but as if it had been
a rabbit); turning, she raised her thin arms to the point at which
the Sacred Window would have stood, had we possessed one, and
uttered the ancient formula.
(Or perhaps I should say that the empty northern sky was her
Window. Is not the sky the only Sacred Window we have here, in
which we strive to trace the will of gods who may not yet have
deserted us?)
Accept, all you gods, the sacrifice of this fine shambass. And
speak to us, we beg, of the times that are to come. What are we to
do? Your lightest word will be treasured. Should you, however,
choose otherwise...
As she pronounced these words, I was beset by a sensation so
extraordinary that I hesitate to write about it, knowing that I will
not be believed.
No, my dearest wife, not even by you.
I saw nothing and heard nothing, yet it seemed to me that the
face of the Outsider had appeared, filling the whole sky and indeed
overflowing it, a face too large to be seenthat I was seeing him
in the only way that a human being can see him, which is to say in
the way that a flea sees a man. Call it nonsense if you like; I have
often called it nonsense myself. But is it really so impossible that
the god of lonely, outcast things should have favored those two,
exiled as they were to their sea-girt, naked rock? Who was, who
could be, more broken, exiled, and despairing than Maytera Marble?
Whether or not there was truth in the presence that I sensed
then, I fell to my knees.
Turning back to the altar and me, Maytera Marble laid my fish
open with a single swift cut that made me fear for my thumb. I
took back the knife, and her old-womans fingers probed the
abdominal cavity in a way that left me feeling they had eyes in their
tips I could not see.
One sides for the giver, thats you, Horn, and the augur.
Thats me. The others for the congregation and the city. I dont
suppose
Abruptly she fell silent, half crouching with her head thrown
back, her blind eye and empty, aching socket staring at nothing, or
perhaps at the declining sun.
I see long journeys, fear, hunger and cold, and feverish heat.
Then darkness. Then more darkness and a great wind. Wealth and
command. I see you, Horn, riding upon a beast with three horns.
(She actually said this.)
Darkness also for me. Darkness and love, darkness until I look
up and see very far, and then there will be light and love.
After that she was silent for what seemed to me a very long
time. My knees hurt, and with my free hand I tried to brush away
the small stones that gouged them.
The city searches the sky for a sign, but no sign shall it have
but the sign from the fishs belly.
* *
Darling, you will want to know about Mayteras prophecy, and
what Mucor said when at last she returned to us from her search
for Silk.
You will also want to know the solution to the mystery of the
fish. About that, I can really tell nothing. I have certain suspicions,
but no evidence to back them up.
Let me say this. An islandour own island of Lizard, for instanceis
in fact a sort of mountain thrust out of the sea, as all
good sailors know. If the sea were to recede, we would discover
that our mill is really situated not at the foot of the Tor but on a
mountaintop. An island, that is to say, exists not only in the air but
10 the water that is beneath the air. I have reason to suspect that
there were four of us, not three, on the island I have named
Mucors Rock. (I do not include Babbie.) Mucor, I believe,
communicated with that fourth person by means you understand no
betterand no worsethan I do. You will recall how she appeared
to Silk and others, in the tunnels, on the airship, and even in Silks
own bedroom. This may have been something of the same kind.
Mayteras prophecy regarding me was entirely accurate. You
may object that save for the part about the beast with three hornswhich
I will treat separately in a momentit was very general. So
it was; but it was correct as well, as I have said. I did indeed journey
long, endure hunger, thirst, cold and heat, and terrible darkness of
which you shall read before this record closesassuming that I will
someday finish it for you. Here in Gaon, I have great wealth at my
command and my orders are obeyed without question.
On Green I rode a three-horned beast, as Maytera foresaw.
Indeed, I was riding it at the time I was wounded fatally. But I
shall say no more about that. It would only disturb us both.
As for Mucors report, I am yawning again already. I will leave
that anticlimax for another day.
4
THE TALE OF THE PAJAROCU
Good morning, I replied. Youre back. Im very
glad to have you back with us, Mucor. Happier than I can say. Did you
find Silk?
She nodded.
Where is he?
Sit down. She and Maytera Marble were sitting upon one
sun-warmed stone, she cross-legged and Maytera with hands
clasped over her shins.
I sat on another. But you found him? Hes still alive? Please
tell me. Ive got to know.
Once I found him, I stayed with Silk a long while. We talked
three times.
Thats wonderful! He was alive, clearly, and at that moment
1 could have jumped up and danced.
He asked me not to tell you where he is. It will be very dangerous
for you to try to go where he is. If you find him, it will be
dangerous for him, and for Hyacinth as well. This was said without
any expression, as Mucor always spoke; but it seemed to me that
there was a spark of concern in her eyes, which were usually so
empty.
I have to, Mucor. We need him, and I have given my word
that I will try.
She shook her head, sending her wild black hair flying. I told
Silk what you told me, that the people here want him to come and
lead them. He said that if he were their leader he would only tell
them to lead themselves, telling every man and every woman to do
what he or she knows should be done. Those words are his.
But we need the favor of the gods!
Maytera remarked quietly, You knew once whom the good
gods favor, Horn. I taught you that while you were still very small.
Have you forgotten it?
I sat thinking for a few seconds. At last I said, Mucor, you
told Silk what I told you when I came.
She nodded. Her eyes were dull once more, and fixed upon
something far away.
This is my fault, because I didnt explain the situation as fully
as I should have. Its actually my fault twice. My fault for not
explaining, and my fault that certain people in New Viron want Silk to be
their caldé. The same thing is true, Im told, in Three Rivers
and some other towns, and thats my fault, too. My wife and I
wrote our book, and it has been more widely read, and much more
often copied, than we had ever dreamed it would be.
What about the women troopers from Trivigaunte? Maytera
inquired.
No. Though their men may feel differently. But they want
him in Urbasecundus, and in other towns even farther from here.
I said my wife and I wrote that book, and it sounds as if Im trying
to divide the blame. Im not; our book would never have been
written if I had not been determined to write it before I died. Nettle
saw how hard it was and offered her help, which I gladly accepted.
But the fault is mine alone.
I waited for Mucor to speak, which was nearly always a mistake.
Maybe it was a foolish thing to do, though I didnt think so
at the time. It was to be a book about Silk, Silks Book, and mostly
it was. But youre in it, both of you, and so are General Mint and
Maytera Rose. Maybe I should have said all three of you are in
there.
Really? Maytera asked.
Yes. So too are your son Blood, and His Cognizance, and the
inhumu that we called His Cognizance Patera Quetzal back in Old
Viron. And Corporal Hammerstone, and Patera Incus. Do you remember
Patera Incus?
Yes, Horn. Yes, I do. My husband thought the whorl of him.
I had been away from her for too long to tell whether she was
smiling or frowning.
But it was mostly about Patera Silk, I continued, and I tried
to show how good and wise he was, and how he made mistakes
sometimes but was never too proud to acknowledge that hed been
wrong. Most of all, how he never gave up, how he kept working
for peace with the Ayuntamiento and peace with Trivigaunte, no
matter how badly things were going or how impossible any peace
seemed. I believed that a book like that would help everyone who
read it, not just now or next year, but long after Nettle and I were
gone. Nettle thought so, too, and wanted to help create a gift that
we could give our childrens children, and their children.
Mayteras hand groped toward me. Youre a good boy, Horn.
Too lively and fond of mischief, but good at heart. I always said
so, even when I had to take my switch to you.
I thanked her. There was something else, Maytera. I felt he
deserved it, deserved a book telling everyone what he had done,
and I felt sure that if I didnt write down all the things I knew
about him, nobody would.
Maytera said, He deserved your tribute, dear.
And Mucor, He does.
So I tried. It was a lot of work for me and even more for
Nettle, because she had to copy what Id written over and over.
But when we were finished and I read it as somebody who hadnt
known him would, I realized I hadnt done him justice, that he had
been greater than I had been able to show. Ever since it began to
be read, people have been telling us that we exaggerated, that he
couldnt have been as great and good a man as my wife and I said
he was. Weve always known that all the error was on the other
side.
Maytera Marble sniffed. One of the parts she had taken when
Maytera Rose died had been that sniff, so expressive of skepticism and
contempt. You think youve got to go because theyd never
have known about young Patera Silk if you and that girl hadnt
written about him.
Yes, I do.
That was how I used to treat Maggie, our maid. Every time
she did some little favor for me, I made it her task, and added to
it. Oh, I knew it was wicked, but I did it just the same.
Hoping to bring her to herself again, I said, Did you really,
Maytera Marble?
She nodded, and something in the movement of her head told
me that it was still Maytera Rose who gave her assent. I said to
myself that if she was ninny enough to let me impose on her like
that, she deserved everything she got. I was right, too. Both
ways... Horn?
Yes, Maytera. Im still here. What is it?
You dont owe my granddaughter and me any more favors.
Youve been very, very generous with us, and the only help that my
granddaughters been able to give you has been to tell you to help
yourself. Now I need to ask you for another favor, one that I want
almost as much as I want a new eye
Ill get two if I can, Maytera.
Youre going to go anyway? In spite of what Patera Silk said?
I was, of course, because I had to. I temporized by saying that
there were many other things in the Long Sun Whorl that were
needed in New Viron.
We must be realistic, Horn. Are you realistic?
I said that I tried to be.
You may not be able to find a new eye for me, much less two.
II understand that. So do you, I feel sure.
I nodded and said, I also understand that because we told
everyone about Silk, Im the one who must go back for him when
hes needed so badly here. When I got to New Viron I asked
Marrow for a copy of a certain letter he had shown me. Do you
remember Marrow, Maytera?
Her old womans fingers smoothed her dirty black skirt over
her thin metal thighs. I used to go to his shop twice a week.
Hes not a bad man, Maytera. In fact, hes a very good man
as men are judged in New Viron today. He has been a good and
generous friend to me ever since I agreed to go back and get Silk.
But when his clerk came in to copy that letter, he wore a chain.
She said nothing, and I was afraid she had not understood me. I said,
I dont mean jewelry, a gold or silver chain around his neck.
His hands were chained. There were iron bands around each wrist,
and the chain ran between them.
She said nothing. Neither did Mucor.
They make those chains short enough that a man wearing one
cant fire a slug gun properly. He cant work the slide to put a fresh
round into the chamber without letting go of the part that his right
hand holds.
You neednt explain any more, Horn. Not about the gun or
the chains, I mean.
I did anyway. I had lived on Lizard too long, perhaps, seeing
few people other than you yourself, Nettle darling, and our sons. I
said, I watched him write, copying it out for me, and I couldnt
help seeing how careful he was to keep it back, keep it from smearing
his ink. It wasnt a big chain, Maytera. It wasnt a heavy chain
at all, just a little, light chain with seven little links. The men who
unload boats wear much heavier ones. He probably thinks that hes
being treated kindly, and in a way he is.
I quite understand, Horn. You dont have to tell us any
more.
Oncethis is two or three years agoI talked to a man in
town who was boasting about how beautiful a girl he had was. He
even offered to take me to his house so that I could see her.
Did you go?
I had but I denied it, one of those lies we tell without knowing
why. I asked him if the chain didnt get in the way when they
made love, and he said no, he made her hold her hands over her
head.
Is this about Silk? Yes, I suppose it is. Maytera was silent for
a moment. Like Marl. Marl was a friend of mine back home. Like
the clerk, except that he didnt have to wear a chain. All right, I
understand why you think you must bring Silk here. In your place,
I suppose I would, too.
Even though he doesnt want to? He wanted very badly to
go with us when we left. You must remember that, Mayterahow
much he wanted to go with us, how eager he was. He hated all the
evil he saw in the Whorl, and he must have hoped that people would
be better in a new place.
She said nothing.
A lot are. Many of us are. Thats what I ought to say, because
Im one of them. Were not as good as he would want us to be,
but were better than we were in a lot of ways. Just thinking about
starting fresh in a new place made Auk better, and if he and Chenille
landed here
Mucor said distinctly, On Green.
They landed on Green? I turned to her eagerly. Have you
talked to them there?
My question hung in the air, whispered by the waves at the
feet of the cliffs.
At last I shrugged, and went back to Maytera Marble. Even
if they landed on Green, Maytera, they may be better people than
the Auk and Chenille we knew, better people than they ever were
at home.
What I started out to say, Horn, is that even if you cannot
bring back a new eye for me, you could still make me very, very
happy.
I assured her that I would do anything I could for her.
We agree that it will be difficult for you to find a new eye.
This is worse, or anyway Im afraid it may be. But if you should see
my husband, see Hammerstone...
I waited.
If hes still alive, if you should run across him, Id like you to
tell him where I am and how very deeply I regret tricking him into
marriage as I did. Tell him, please, that I wouldnt have come here,
or brought my granddaughter here, if I had been able to face him.
Ask him to pray for me, please. Will you do that for me, Horn? Ask
him to pray for me?
Naturally I promised that I would.
He didnt pray at all when I was with him, when we were...
It pained me. It gave me pain, and yet I knew that he was being
open and honest with me. It was I, the one who prayed, who lied
and lied too. I know that must seem illogical, yet it was so.
Here I tried to say something comforting, I believe. I am no
longer certain what it was.
Now Im blind, Horn. I am punished, and not too severe a
punishment, either. Are you going to tell him that Im blind now,
Horn?
I said I certainly would, because I would try to enlist
Hammerstones help in finding new eyes for her.
And where we are now, my granddaughter and I? Will you
tell him about this rock in the sea?
Ill probably have to, Maytera. Im sure hell want
to know.
She was silent for a minute or two, nor did Mucor speak again.
I stood up to gauge the force and direction of the wind. The western
horizon showed no indications of bad weather, only the clearest
of calm blue skies.
Horn?
Yes, Maytera. If Mucor wont tell me anything more, and
wont tell Patera Silk that Im going to come for him whether he
wants me to or not, I ought to leave.
Only a moment more, Horn. Cant you spare me a moment
Or two? Horn, you knew him. Do you think that my husbandthat
Hammerstone might try to come here and kill me? Is he capable
of that? Was he?
Absolutely not. Privately I thought it likely that he would
come, or try to, although not to do her harm.
It might be better if he did. Her voice had been growing
weaker as she spoke; it was so faint when she said that that I could
scarcely hear her over the distant murmur of the waves. I still try
to pretend that Im taking care of my granddaughter, as I did when
we were on our little farm, and in the town. But shes taking care
of me, really. That is the truth
Mucor interrupted, startling me. I do not.
I said, You dont require much taking care of, Maytera, and
your granddaughter wouldnt have the bottles of water I brought
for her if you hadnt told me she needed them. You were taking
care of her then.
For seconds that dragged on and on, Maytera was silent; when
I was on the point of leaving, she said, Horn, may I touch your
face? Ive been wanting to, the whole time youve been here.
If it will make you happy to do it, it will make me happy,
too, I told her.
She rose, and Mucor rose with her; I stood close to Maytera
Marble and let her hands discover my face for themselves.
Youre older now.
Yes, Maytera. Older and fatter and losing my hair. Do you
remember how bald my father was?
Its still the same dear face, though it pains me toto have
it changed at all. Horn, its not at all likely that youll be able to
find new eyes for me, or find my husband, either. We both know
that. Even so, you can make me happy if you will. Will you promise
to come back here after you have tried? Even if you have no eye to
give me, and no word of my husband? And leave me a copy of your
book, so that I can hear, sometimes, about Patera Silk and Patera
Pike, and the old days at our manteion?
It was on the tip of my tongue to say that our book would be
of no use to her, but it occurred to me that the seamen who came
to consult Mucor might be induced to read passages to her. I said
something to that effect, and she said, Mucor can read it to me,
if she will.
Surprised yet again, I asked, Can you read, Mucor?
A little. She seemed almost on the point of smiling.
Grandmother taught me.
She would have, naturally. I was ready to kick myself for not
having anticipated something so obvious.
Maytera Marble said, If she doesnt know a word, she can
spell it out to me so I can tell her.
The love in her voice touched me; for the space of a breath, I
considered what you would want me to do, Nettle; but I know you
too well to have much doubt. You want me to bring you a copy
of our book, when I return from the Long Sun Whorl, Maytera?
From the Whorl?
Very humbly she said, If its not too much trouble, Horn.
Her hands had left my face to clutch each other. ItI would
appreciate it very much.
You wont have to wait. I have a copy in my boat. Ill be
back in a few minutes.
I had not gone ten steps when I heard the tapping of her stick
behind me. I told her that she did not have to come, that I would
bring the book up to her.
No. No, I want to, Horn. I cant ask you to make that climb
again, andand...
She was afraid that I might sail away without having given it
to her. Perhaps I should have been angry that she had so little
confidence in my promise; but the truth was, as I realized even then,
that she wanted the book so badly that she could not bear to run
even the slightest risk, and wailing for me to return with it would
have been agony. I took her free hand, and we descended the precipitous
path together.
When we had reached the flat rock upon which the fish had so
mysteriously appeared, she asked me about the sloop, how long it
was, how wide, how one managed the sails and so on and so forth,
all of it, I believe, to postpone the delicious instant when she would
actually hold the book in her own hands, pushing the moment back
again and again.
I gave her each measurement she asked for, and explained the
rudiments of sailing as well as I could, how one trims the sails
depending on the angle of the wind to the course, how to navigate
by the sun and the stars, how the management of a laden boat
differs from that of an empty one, and other matters; and while I
was descanting upon all this Mucor appeared, standing upon an
outcrop halfway up the cliff so small that it had escaped my notice
up to then. I waved to her and she waved in return, but she did
not speak.
At last I went aboard, retrieved our book from the cubby, and
standing in the stern with one foot on the gunwale presented it to
Maytera Marble, a present from both its authors.
It seems foolish now to write that her face, a face composed of
hundreds of tiny mechanisms, glowed with happiness. Yet it did.
Horn! Oh, Horn! Thisthis is the answer to so many, many
prayers!
I smiled, although she could not see it. All of them yours, Im
sure, Maytera. A good many people have taken the trouble to read
it, though.
Its so thick! So heavy! Reverently she opened it, turning
pages to feel the paper. Are they written on both sides, Horn?
Yes, they are, Maytera. And my wifes handwriting is quite
small.
She nodded solemnly. I remember dear little Nettles hand.
She had a very good hand, Horn, even when she was just a child.
A neat little hand. It may give my granddaughter trouble at first,
but shell soon be reading it like print, I feel sure.
I said that I was, too, and prepared to cast off.
Were all in here, Horn? Dear old Maytera Rose, Maytera
Mint, and my granddaughter and I? And Patera, and Patera Pike,
and you children in the palaestra?
Theres a great deal about Patera Silk, I told her, but
only a little, really, about Patera Pike. Im afraid most of the other
students at the palaestra arent even mentioned, but Nettle and I pop
up pretty frequently.
I was on the point of saying good-bye, but now that the moment
for it had come I found myself every bit as reluctant as she was. Do
you remember how I followed you to the gate of Bloods villa? How
I wanted to come in with you, but you wouldnt let me?
You were a good, brave boy. I couldnt risk your life like that,
Horn.
Its in there, I said, and cast off. Im leaving
now. Remember me in your prayers.
I will. Oh, I will!
I sighed, and put one of my new sweeps into the water with a
plop that she surely heard.
Good-bye, Horn. She clutched our book to her chest. You
will come back someday? Please?
When Ive got eyes for you, I told her, and pushed off. The
little inlet was so sheltered by its cliffs that there was scarcely any
wind; I had to scull the sloop to its mouth before the mainsail began
to draw.
I was trimming it when I heard Mucors long, shrill whistle and
looked up. She was pointing at the sloop and me, her left arm stiffly
extended; and because the outcrop on which she stood was a good
deal higher than the top of the mast, her rag of gown and long,
coarse, black hair were whipped by the wind. Whenever I think of
her now, that is the image I recall first: poised upon the outcrop
she has reached by the almost invisible crevice behind her, her arm
stretched forth and her face the face of General Mint restrained by
some subordinate, ordering forward troops she would rather have
led in person.
Mucor might, as I have tried to say here, have commanded ten
thousand spectral troopers; but at the time I could not see even
one. Then some slight sound from the top of the rock reached my
ears, and I realized that her gesture had misled me. Like any actual
general, she was not pointing to whatever forces she commanded,
but to their objective.
At the top of the cliff, I saw a small dark figure that seemed
almost a cluster of boys, or two men upon their hands and knees.
It vanished, then reappeared as it made a flying leap from the top
of the cliff. For a moment I thought its target was the sloop, and
at it would strike it and die. It sent up a waterspout five cubits
from the tip of the bowsprit, however, and vanished as if it had
sunk like a stone.
Back in the inlet, Maytera Marble was shouting, her voice
audible but unintelligible, echoing and re-echoing from cliff to cliff.
Mucor waved, but disappeared into the crevice too quickly for me
to wave in return. Earlier I wrote that she is not tall, but that was
misleading. Majesty is not a mere matter of a hand or two over the
eight. In twenty years, I myself had matured and even aged; yet
subconsciously I had supposed that Mucor was still the preternatural
adolescent I remembered.
* *
No quantity of preaching or teaching will make the people
wholly safe from the inhumis sleights and subterfuges. No one
knows that better than I. But preaching and teaching may do something,
may even save a few lives, and so they are worth doing. It
may be at least as valuable, however, to encourage the farmers to
plant crops that will not be beaten flat by the stormsyams for
example. This is surely the first storm, and not the last.
Only the leatherskin could have been a less welcome boarder.
I ordered him to return to Mucor, and he crouched in the bow and
defied me. I grappled with him then, and tried to drop him over
the side, but he was as heavy as a stone, and clung to me with all
his legs so tightly that the two of us might have been hewn from a
single block of flesh; and when, after a long tussle, I was able to
tear him loose and push him out of the sloop, he swam under the
keel and climbed back on board in far less time than it had taken
me to throw him off.
After that, I sat by the tiller frowning at him, while he squatted
like a spider on the other side of the mast, glaring at me through
close-set crimson eyes that seemed only slightly bigger than the
heads of pins. When I ate that night, I flung him a loaf of bread
and a couple of apples, reflecting that if I fed him he might be
somewhat less likely to charge when my back was to him.
I could have broken out the slug gun, loaded it, and shot him.
Or at least, I supposed at the time that I could have, though in
point of fact Babbie could have killed me long before I got the first
cartridge in the chamber. I am no longer quite sure why I did not,
although there were certainly some compelling arguments against
it. The first, which I could not help giving considerable weight, was
that I might well hole the sloop. If I missed, the slug would
undoubtedly smash through her planking, unless the new cartridges
were vastly inferior to those made beneath the Long Sun. Hus are
notorious for their tough hides and massive bones; and yet it was
quite possible that a slug fired at close range might penetrate this
small hus and a plank, too.
Hus are difficult to kill as well, and almost always charge if a
hunters first shot merely wounds them. A fast second shot is often
necessary, and although one or two dogs would be enough to track
one down, most hunters recommend taking eight or ten to impede
the charge. I had none, and the distance would be too short for
me to have any hope of getting off a second shot.
There was also a chance at least that this particular hus would
be of value to me. A tame hus might always be sold, and while I
had him he would, presumably, guard the sloop in my absence.
Recalling my old fellow pupil, and the shame I had felt at being
forced to borrow three cards from Marrow, I could almost wish
that Babbie had been with me earlier.
But the most serious reason was that I would be destroying the
gift Mucor had sent me as a gesture of good will. Mucor, whose
spirit might be watching us invisibly for all I knew (or could know)
would surely take that amiss, and if Silk were to change his mind
and choose to reveal his whereabouts once he learned that I was
determined to search him out, only Mucor could bring me that
information. When I had turned this last reason over in my mind
for a few minutes, I acutely regretted having thrown Babbie
overboard.
Half joking, I told him, We may never be friends, Babbie, but
we need not be enemies either. You try to be a good beast, and Ill
try to be a good master to you.
He continued to glare; and his glare said very plainly, You hate
me so I hate you.
I filled my washbowl with fresh water then, and gave it to him.
* *
These people, like people everywhere here, seem to fear that an
inhumu may live on even with its head severed. That is not the case,
of course; but I cannot help wondering how the superstition originated
and became so widespread. Certainly the inhumi have no
bones as we understand them. Possibly their skeletons are cartilage,
as those of some sea-creatures are. On Green, Geier maintained that
the inhumi are akin to slugs and leeches. No one, I believe, took
him seriously; yet it is certain that once dead they decay very
quickly, though they are difficult to kill and can survive for weeks
and even months without the blood that is their only food.
But I can continue this little lecture best by returning to my
narrative.
If what I know a good supper it will buy... He shrugged
Or you want to see me eat.
We assured him that it had never occurred to us that he might
be an inhumu.
Strangers you dont know, I think. Before Pajarocu with a
hundred you must speak. Sharp you better be. Sharp they are, those
inhumi. Sharp always.
Marrow grunted agreement.
Many in Pajarocu I meet. Some I killed. Them you cannot
drown. That you know?
I said I had heard it, but that I did not know whether it was
true.
True it is. Wijzer paused to inspect a load of melons, then
looked around and pointed. You, Marrow. Your house that way
is it? A house bigger than all the rest it is? The whole town you
steer?
Marrow leaned upon his stick. The town doesnt always think
so.
Him sending you are. Wijzer pointed to me. To go he
wants?
Yes, I told him. I want to because it is my duty.
Careful be. Careful you must be. He made off through the
hay market, pushing others out of his way and leading us as if he
knew the route to Marrows better than either one of us; he was a
big man, not so much tall as broad, with a big, square, sun-reddened
face and muscular, short-fingered hands whose backs were
thick with reddish hair.
Hes rough, Marrow whispered, but dont let that
make you think hes honest. He may send you wrong.
The set of Wijzers shoulders told me he had overheard, so I
said, Im a good judge of men, Councilor, and I think that this
one can be trusted. At the word councilor, Marrows eyes
went wide.
His cook had prepared a good, plain dinner for us. There were
seven or eight vegetable dishes variously prepared (most of Marrows
wealth came from trading fruits and vegetables still), a big
pork roast with baked apples, hot breads with a bowl of butter, and
so forth. Wijzer pitched into the meat and wine. No cheese, Marrow?
Councilor Marrow? So said it is? Like a judge you are? No
one this to me tells, or before more polite I am.
A few people call me that. Marrow leaned back in his carved
chair, toying with his wine glass. But it has no legal force, and I
dont even make my servants do it.
This man Horn, he does. Him I hear. Why him you send
it is?
Marrow shook his head. Were sending him because hes best
qualified to go, and because he will. If youre asking if I trust him,
I do. Absolutely.
Im going because I want Silk here more than anybody,
told Wijzer.
Ahh? His fork, laden with a great gobbet of pork, paused
halfway to his mouth.
Marrows look suggested that I hold my tongue.
So. Silk. Why you want so far to go I wondered. A long sail
ror you Pajarocu is. Long even for me from Dorp it is, where nearer
I am. The Pork attained its ultimate destination.
Do you know about Silk?
He shrugged. Stories there are. Some I hear. Someone a big
book he has. Things he said, but maybe not all true they are. A
good man, just the same he is. In Pajarocu Silk is, you think? Why?
Him I did not see.
We dont believe hes in Pajarocu, I said, either one of us.
I believe that hes probably still in Viron, the city we left to come
here. But Councilor Marrow got a letter from Pajarocu not long
ago, a very important letter. I asked him to have a copy made for
me, and he did. I think you ought to read it.
I got out the letter and handed it to Wijzer, but he only tapped
it, still folded, against the edge of the table. This city, this Viron.
From there you come. A councilor it steers. Not so it is?
Marrow shook his head. Under our Charter, the caldé decided
things in Viron. We didnt always follow our Charter, but thats
what it said. The Ayuntamiento was under him, and it was composed
of councilors. When Horn and I left, Silk was caldé, and he
told us to go. People from other landers who came later than we
did say he was still caldé when they left, and urged them to risk the
trip.
Wijzer gestured with the folded letter. One of these councilors
you were, Marrow?
Marrow shook his head again.
Nothing you were. When this Silk comes, nothing again you
will be. Why him do you want, if nothing you were?
I began to protest, but Marrow said, Thats right. I was
nothing.
Wijzer swallowed half his wine. So here Silk you bring, where
people who have never him seen him love. Caldé here he will be,
and a council like before he will want. A councilor then you are
that real is.
It could happen. Marrow shrugged. But it probably wont.
Do you seriously think thats why were sending Horn here to fetch
Silk?
Enough for me it is.
Who governs your own town? You?
Dorp? No. My boat I govern. For me, enough she is.
Marrow buttered a roll while we waited for him to speak again.
You may know winds and landmarks, but you dont know men.
Not as well as you think you do.
Anybody that can say. Wijzer helped himself to another
salsify fritter.
Youre right. Anybody can say it. Even Caldé Silk could,
because its true. Marrow picked up his wine glass and put it down
with a bang. Im one of five who try to steer New Viron. Horn
can tell you about that, if you want to hear it. Im not always
obeyed, none of us are. But I try, and our people know I want
whats best for the town. You say Caldé Silk will want a new
Ayuntamiento if he comes here. He may not, he had a lot of trouble
with our councilors back home.
Wijzer continued to eat, watching Marrows face.
If he doesnt, Ill be nothing again. All right, Ill
see to my turnips, and if Silk ever asks my help, hell get it. If he wants
an Ayuntamiento, he may want me to be on it. That will be all right,
too. If he asks my help, I may bargain for a seat. Or I may not. Itll
depend on what help he wants and how badly its needed. I wont
ask if all this satisfies you.
Good that is. Not you ask.
I say I wont ask, because Im not asking your help for my
own sake. Im asking for everybody in my town, and everybody on
this inside-out whorl Pas packed us off to. If thats not exact enough
for you, Im asking for Horn here. Hes going off alone to a place
that neither one of us have ever been to, because theres a chance
we can get Silk to come here.
Marrow pointed to me with his fork. Look at him. There he
sits, and inside of a week he may drown. He has a wife and three
boys. If you know something that might help him, this is your chance
to tell him. If you dont and he dies, maybe Ill be the only
who blames you. One old man in a foreign town, thats nothing.
But maybe youll blame yourself. Think about it.
Wijzer turned to me. This wife, a beautiful young girl she is?
I shook my head and explained that you are my own age.
Me? He indicated himself, a broad thumb to his chest. A
beautiful young girl I got. In Dorp she is.
You must miss her, Im sure.
Marrow started to speak, but Wijzer stopped him with an up-raised hand.
Did I say I wouldnt tell? No! He belched. This I
will I have said. A trader that his word keeps I am. Who and why
to know I wish. My right that is. But who you are I see, Marrow,
and why it is they here to you listen.
He unfolded the letter and rattled it between his fingers.
Good paper. Where this do you get?
Again, Marrow pointed to me.
I said, I made it. Thats what I do.
The papermaker you are?
I nodded.
Not a sailor. Wijzer frowned. Why a sailor does he not
send?
Marrow said, Hes a sailor, too. Hes going instead of
somebody else because getting to Pajarocu wont gain us anything unless
he can persuade Silk to come back with him. Hes the only one, or
almost the only one, who may be able to.
Wijzer grunted, his eyes on the letter.
I said, There are two other people who might have as much
influence with Caldé Silk, or more. Do you want to hear about
them?
If you want, I will listen.
Both are women. Maytera Marble might, but shes old and
blind, and believes that shes taking care of the granddaughter who
cares for her. Would you want me to step aside so they could send
her?
Wijzer made a rude noise. Not as far as Beled she would get.
Youre right. The other is Nettle, my wife. Shes a fine sailor,
shes strong for a woman, and shes got more sense than any two
men I know. If I had not offered to go, they were going to ask
her, and I feel sure she would have gone.
Wijzer chuckled. And you at home to sit and cook! No, you
must go. That I see.
I want to go, I told him. I want to see Silk again, and
talk to him, more than anything else in the whorl. I know Nettle feels
the same way, and if I succeed, shell get to see him and talk to
him too. You said Maytera Marble wouldnt get as far as Beled.
Beleds the town where the Trivigauntis settled, isnt it?
Marrow said, Thats right.
Its that way? North?
Wijzer nodded absently. Here of this He-hold-fire I read.
Back to the Whorl he will make his lander go. How it is, this he
can do? Other men this cannot do.
I have no idea, I said. Perhaps I can find out when I get
to Pajarocu.
Horns good with machinery, Marrow told Wijzer. He
built the mill that made that paper.
In a box it you make? Wijzers hands indicated the size.
No. In a continuous strip, until were out of slurry.
Good! A lander here you got? A lander everybodys got.
Marrow said, We have some, but theyre just shells. The one
Horn and I came in... He made a wry face. For the first few
years, everybody took everything they wanted. Wire, metal, anything. I
did it myself.
Dorp, too.
I used to hope that another would land. That was before the
fourth came. I had a plan, and men to carry it out. We would arrive
before the last colonist left, and seize control. Search them as they
got out, and make them put back the cards theyd taken, any wiring,
any other parts. We did, and it took off again.
Wijzer laughed.
TheyPasdoesnt want anyone to go back. You probably
know it. So unless a landers disabled before it unloads, it goes back
to the Whorl so it can bring more people here.
A good one at Mura they got, Wijzer remarked pensively.
This I hear. Only nobody near they will allow.
If I had succeeded, Marrow told him, I wouldnt have
let anyone near ours either.
Dorp, too. Our judges there, but none they got. Wijzer refolded
the letter and handed it back to me. Pajarocu to go, a sharp
watch you must keep, young fellow. The legend already you know?
About the pajarocu bird?
I smiled; no one had called me young in a long time. Ill try,
and if you know the legend, Id like to hear it.
He cleared his throat and poured himself another glass of wine.
The Maker everything he made. Like a man a boat builds it was.
All the animals, the grass, trees, Pas and his old wife, everything.
About the Maker you know?
I nodded and said that we called him the Outsider.
A good name for him that is. Outside him we keep, into our
hearts we dont let him come.
When everything hes got made, he got to paint. First the
water. Easy it is. Then the ground, all the rocks. A little harder it
gets. Then sky and trees. Grass harder than you think it is, the little
brush he had got to use, and paint so when the wind blows the
color changes, and different colors for different kinds. Then dogs
and greenbucks, all the different animals. Birds and flowers going
to be tough they are. This he knows. So for the last them he leaves.
I nodded. Marrow was yawning.
While the other stuff painting he is, the pajarocu with the big
owl up north they got makes friends. Well, that big owl the first
bird the Maker paints he is, because so quick it he can do. White
for feathers, eyes, legs, and everything. But that owl not much fun
he is, so the snake-eater bird next he calls. At the owl the pajarocu
bird looks, and all over white he is. Does it hurt the pajarocu wants
to know. That big owl, he never laughs. To have a game he wants,
so he says yes. A lot it hurts, he says, but over quick it is.
So the pajarocu, over to look he goes. The Maker the snake-killer
bird painting is, and two dozen colors using he is. Red for
the tail, brown for wings, blue and white in front, yellow around
the mouth and the chin, everything hes got using he is. So the
pajarocu hides. When the Maker finished is, the pajarocu nobody
can find. Because he has never been painted and nobody him can
see, it is.
Marrow chuckled.
So the Maker for the owl and the snake-eater bird calls, and
them for the pajarocu to look he tells. The owl at night can look,
and the snake-eater bird when light it gets. But him they never see,
so him they never find. All the time the owl around the night he
flies, and cu, cu he says. Never the snake-eater bird talks, till
somewhere where the pajarocu might be he comes. Then Pajarocu?
I said, Thats a good story, but if I understand you, youre
telling me that even with your directions I may have a lot of trouble
finding Pajarocu.
Wijzer nodded solemnly. Not a place that wants to be found
it is. Traders to steal will come back, they think. If close you get,
wrong their friends to you will tell.
Marrow, who had eaten nearly as much as Wijzer, said, They
have invited us to send someone, one man or one woman to fly
back to the Long Sun Whorl and return to this one. Youve seen
their letter, and thats an accurate copy. How do you explain it?
They it maybe can explain. Them ask. Everything this young
fellow to tell I want, so that careful he will be. Afraid you are that
so much I will tell that not he will go?
Marrow said, No, and I reaffirmed that I was going.
You a question I ask. Wijzer swirled what little wine
remained in his glass, staring into it as though he could read the
future in its spiral. One man back can go, your letter says. This
fellow Silk to bring here you want. Two you will be.
I nodded. Marrow and our other leaders and I talked about
that. A great many people know about Patera Silk now. When he
identifies himself, we believe theyll let him come aboard their
lander.
When Wijzer only stared at me, I added, We hope that they
will, at least.
You hope. Wijzer snorted.
Marrow said, We do. Our own lander held more than five
hundred. I doubt that theyll get two hundred from other towns
with their invitation, but suppose they do. Or lets say they get a
hundred, and to that they add four hundred of their own people.
The lander reaches the Long Sun Whorl safely, and the hundred
scatter, every man looking for his own city.
Wijzer frowned. It you must finish.
When the time to return comes, do you think a hundred will
reassemble at the lander?
Wijzer shook his head. No. Not a hundred there will be.
Marrow made a little sound expressive of satisfaction. Then
why not let Silk take one of the empty seats?
Because none there may be. Not a hundred I said. Two hundred,
maybe. When about this town that you got I ask, what they
say it is? You know? The first it was. The first lander from the Whorl
came, and here landed. True it is?
No, I told him. Another lander left some time before ours,
with a group led by a man called Auk. They were also from Viron.
Have you ever heard of them?
Wijzer shook his head. Someplace else they landed, maybe.
On Green, I said, or so Ive been told. There was also
another lander that left at the same time ours did. One lander
wouldnt hold all of us, and we had cards enough to restore two,
so we took two. It came here with us, but weve never learned what
became of Auks.
Wijzer leaned toward me, his elbows on the table and his big,
square face ruddy with sun, wind, and wine. You listen. Here
twenty years now you been. For me, nine it is. Back up there, he
pointed to the ceiling, where the Long Sun they got, what like it
is, not you know. What like it was when away I went. Everybody
out Pas wants. Storms, and a week all nights he gives. Even me,
out he drives. Everybody! The landers up there that they got? No
good! No good! You the cards had, this you said. Enough back
you put, and it flies. Right that is?
I nodded.
Wijzer directed his attention to Marrow. Landers here you
got, you say. But the wires pulled out are, seats, too. Cards, pipes
glass, all that. Again to fly, not you can them make. Those landers
up there? How it goes with them, you think? First of all you went
so the best ones you took. The one I ride, like what it is, you thinly
Forty-eight seats for us left. Forty-eight for six hundred and thirty-four.
That I never forget. Up we fly, and fifteen dead we got. No
food but what we bring. No water. Pipes, taps, what you sit on
every day, all gone they are. When here we get, how our lander
smells you think? Babies all sick. Everybody sick or dead they are.
Terrible it is. Terrible! So why go? Because we got to.
He looked back to me and pointed a short, thick finger. Not
everybody comes back, you think. So more seats there are. Maybe
not everybody comes. But the ones... Family up there you got?
My father, if hes still alive. An uncle and two aunts, and some
cousins. They may have left by this time.
Or not, maybe. Friends?
Yes. A few.
Father. Uncle. Aunt. Friend. Cousin. Care I dont. Father we
say. On his knees he gets. He cries. What then will you do? About
that you got to think. Ever of you they beg? Your father, to you
down on his knees before he has got? Crying? Of you begging?
No, I said. He never did.
Twenty years. A very young man then you are. Maybe a boy
when you go, yes?
I nodded again.
At your father you looked, your father you saw. A man not
like you he was. The same for me it is when a boy I am. No more!
This time your own face you see, but old you are. Not strong like
twenty years ago. Weak now he is. Crying, begging. Tears down
his cheeks running. Horn, Horn! Me you got to take! My own flesh
you are!
Wijzer was silent for a moment, watching my face. No extra
seats there will be. No. Not one even.
Marrow grunted again, and I said, I understand what you
mean. It could be very difficult.
Wijzer leaned back and drank what remained of his wine. To
Pajarocu you go? Still?
Yes.
Stubborn like me you are. For you a good voyage I wish.
Something to draw on you got, Marrow?
Marrow called his clerk, and had him bring paper, a quill, and
a bottle of ink.
Look. Main this is. Carefully, Wijzer drew a wavering line
down the paper. We on Main here. Islands we got. He sketched
in several. North the Lizard it is. He began to draw it, a tiny
blot of ink upon the vastness of the sea. The Lizard you know?
I told him I lived there.
Good that is. Home for another good dinner you can stop.
Wijzer looked at me slyly, and I realized with something of a start
that he had bright blue eyes like Silks.
No, I said, and found it not as hard to say as I expected. I
doubt that Ill stop there at all, unless I find that I need something
I neglected to bring.
Marrow grunted his approval.
Better you dont. Rocks there is. But those you must know.
Wijzer added towns up the coast. Too many islands to draw, but
there these rocks and the big sandbar you I must show. Both very
bad they are. Maybe them you see, maybe nothing. He gave me
another sly glance. Nothing you see, me anyhow you believe.
Yes?
Yes, I said. I know how easy it is to stave a boat on a rock
that cant be seen.
Wijzer nodded to himself. Coming Green is. The sea to go
up and down it makes. The tide in Dorp we say. About the tide
you know?
Yes, I repeated.
How more water Green makes, then not so much, I will not
tell. Not till someone to me it explains. But so it is. About this tide
you must think always, because bigger and bigger it gets while you
go. Never it you forget. A safe anchorage you got, but in an hour,
two hours, not safe it is.
I nodded.
Also all these towns that to you I show. At all these towns
even Wijzer would not put in. But maybe something there is you
need. Which ones crazy is, I will not show. All crazy they are. Me
you understand? Crazy like this one you got they are. Only all different,
too.
Differing laws and customs. I know what you mean.
So if nothing you need, past best to go it is. Now these two
up here... He drew circles around them and blew on the ink.
Where you cross they are. Because over here... Another
wavering line, receding to the south and showing much less detail.
Another Main you got. Maybe a name its got. I dont
know.
Shadelow, the western continent, I proposed.
Maybe. Or maybe just a big island it is. Wijzer, not smart
enough you to tell he is. An island, maybe, but big it is. This coast?
Better well out you stand.
Im sure youre right.
Two or three towns. He sketched them in, adding their
names in a careful script. What down for you I put, what I them
call it is. Maybe something else you say. Maybe something else they do. Here
the big river runs. Meticulously he blacked it in. It you
got to see, so sharp you got to look. What too big not to see is,
what nobody sees it is.
I told him that I had been thinking the same thing not long
before.
A wise saying it is. Everyplace wise fellows the same things
say. This you know?
I suppose that they must, although Id never thought about
it.
Wise always the same it is. About men, women, children.
About boats, food, horses, dogs, everything. Always the same. No
birds in the old nest, wise fellows say, and the good cock out of
the old bag. A thief, the thief s tracks sees. The meat from the gods
it is, the cooks from devils. All those things in towns all over they
say. You young fellows laugh, but us old fellows know. The look-out,
the little thing always he sees. Almost always, because to see it
sharp he must look. The big thing, too big to look out sharp for it
is, and nobody it sees.
Dipping his quill for what might have been the tenth time, he
divided the river. The big stream to starboard it is. Yes? Little to
port. The little one fast it runs. Hard to sail up. Yes? Just the same,
the way you go it is. He drew an arrow upon the unknown land
beside it, and began to sketch in trees beside it.
After a moment I nodded and said, Yes. I will.
Wijzer stopped drawing trees and divided the smaller stream.
Same here, the little one you take. A little boat you got?
Much smaller than yours, I told him. Its small enough for
me to handle alone easily.
Thats good. Good! For a good, strong blow you must wait.
You see? Then up here you can sail. Close to the shore, you got to
stay. Careful always you must be, and the legend not forget. A good
watch keep. Here sometimes Pajarocu is. He added a dot of ink
and began lettering the word beside it: PAJAROCU.
Did you say it was there only sometimes? I asked.
Wijzer shrugged. Not a town like this town of yours it is. You
will see, if there you get. Sometimes here it is, sometimes over there.
If I tell, you would not me believe. That you coming are they know,
maybe it they move. Or another reason. Or no reason. Not like my
Dorp, Pajarocu is. He pointed to Dorp, a cluster of tiny houses
on his map. Not like any other town Pajarocu is.
Marrow was leaning far over the table to look at it. That river
is practically due west of here.
Wijzers face lost all expression, and he laid aside his quill.
Couldnt Horn save time by sailing west from here?
That some fellows do, maybe, Wijzer told him. Sometimes
all right they go. Sometimes not. What here I draw, what Wijzer
does it is.
But you want to trade from town to town, Marrow objected.
Horn wont be doing that.
I said, If I were to do as you suggest, sailing due west from
here) I would eventually strike the coast of this big island or second
continent that Wijzer has very kindly mapped for us. But when I
did, I wouldnt know whether to turn south or north, unless the
river mouth was in view.
Reluctantly, Marrow nodded.
With the greatest respect to Captain Wijzer, a map like this
one, drawn freehand, could easily be in error by, oh, fifty leagues
or more. Suppose that I decided it was accurate, and sailed north.
It might easily take me a week to sail fifty leagues, tacking up the
coast. Suppose that at the end of that week I turned back to search
south. And that the river mouth was five leagues beyond the point
at which I turned back. How long would it take me to locate it?
Wijzer smiled; and Marrow said reluctantly, I see what you
mean. Its just that theyre going to leave as soon as their landers
ready, and its nearly ready now. You read that letter. Anybody who
hasnt arrived before they go will be left behind.
I realize that theres no time to waste, I told him, but
sometimes its best to make haste slowly. Privately I reflected that
I might have the best of both plans by sailing north for a hundred
leagues or so, then turning west well south of the place where
Wijzer had advised me to.
And I resolved to do it.
5
THE THING ON THE GREEN PLAIN
Yet I remember Wijzer clearly. What if he were to walk into
court tomorrow? He would ask whether I ever reached Pajarocu,
and what could I say? Yes, but...
Let me make one thing clear before I go further. I did not trust
Wijzer completely. He seemed a trader not greatly different from
dozens of others who sail up and down our coast, having begun,
perhaps, with a cargo of iron kitchenware and exchanged it for copper
ingots, and exchanged the ingots for paper and timber in New
Viron, always in search of a cargo that will bring immense profit
when it is sold in their home port. I was afraid that Wijzer might
be lying to make himself seem more widely traveled than he was,
or even that he might not want Silk brought here for reasons of his
own. In all this I wronged him, as I now know. He had been to
Pajarocu, and he advised me to the best of his ability.
* *
If this were a similar work, instead of the unvarnished, straightforward
account that I intend, I would simply explain why I
doubted Wijzer, and leave the reader in suspense as to whether
those doubts were justified. It is not. Because it is not, I want to
say here plainly that except for some slight exaggerations of coastal
features and the omission of many small islands (notably that terrible
island on which I fell into the pit) his map was remarkably
accurate, at least regarding the areas through which I traveled in
my long search for the elusive Pajarocu, called a town.
Before I returned to my boat that evening, I bought a tightly
fitted little box of oily desertwood and a stick of sealing wax; once
back on board, I studied the map with care, then put it into the
box with my copy of the letter, melting the wax in the flame of my
lantern and dripping it over every joint, a process that Babbie
watched with more interest than I would have expected any beast
save Oreb to show.
He was there still, although I had half expected to find him
gone when I came back. It was the first time that I left him on the
boat alone.
With the robbery still fresh in my memory, it was almost pleasant
to have him. Although my boat had never been pillaged before
on the few occasions when I had left it tied to a pier with no one
on board, I had known that others had been, and that some had
lost their boats. To confess the truth, when I returned to mine that
first night I had been happy to find the damage and losses no worse
than they were. Normally we had taken Sinew or (more often) the
twins, so as to have someone to watch the sloop while Nettle and
I traded our paper for items we needed but could not grow or make
for ourselves, or for spirits, food, and clothing we could trade with
the loggers.
Well be going for a sail in the morning, I told Babbie. If
you want to go ashore, nows the time. He only grunted and
retreated to the foredeck, his expression (as stubborn as Wijzers
own) saying You wont sail off without me.
Naturally it had occurred to me that I might put out that very
night, but I was tired and there was scarcely a breath of wind; in
all probability it would have meant a good deal of work for nothing.
It might also have altered the course of events radically, if the
wind had picked up enough for me to pass the Lizard while it was
still dark.
Who can say?
* *
A few of you seem to think that since the inhumi cross the
abyss at conjunction they must leave before conjunction is past, I
said. Why should they, when there are so many of us here, so
much blood for them? I tell you that though some who have tarried
here for years will leave as the whorls conjoin, returning to Green
to breed, most will remain. Do you doubt me?
They were shamefaced, and did not reply.
There were many here last year, or so you tell me. And many
the year before. Are you in greater danger from them now? Surely
not! More will come, but we will be on guard against them; and
they, being less experienced, will be a lesser threat to us. Will you
sleep at your posts when the first is caught and interred alive in the
market? The second? The third? I hope not. Nor should you relax
when this conjunction is over, as it soon will be.
Brave words, and they served a dress rehearsal for the speeches
I must give in the next few months.
If the inhumas eggs hatched in our climate, would not our
human kind become extinct? What tricks Nature plays! If they are
natural creatures at all.
But they surely are. Natural creatures native to Green. Why
would the Neighbors create something so malign?
* *
I sailed at shadeup, as I had planned. Much to my surprise,
Marrow came down to see me off and present me with two parting
gifts, small square heavy boxes. The wind was in the southeast, and
a very good wind it was for me, so we shook hands and he embraced
me and called me his son, and I untied the mooring lines and raised
the mainsail.
Just as Mucor had waited until I was well under way and could
not easily return her gift before presenting me with Babbie, and as
Sinew had waited before throwing me his precious knife, so Marrow
waited before presenting me with his third and final gift. It was his
stick, which he flung aboard in imitation of Sinew (I had told him
about it) when I was well away from the pier. I shouted thanks, and I
believe I picked it up and flourished it, too, though I could not help
thinking about Bloods giving Patera Silk his lion-headed stick.
Was I wrong to think of it? Marrow has his bad side, I am sure;
and I am perfectly certain he would be the first to admit it. Blood,
who was Maytera Roses son, had his good side, too. Silk always
insistcd on it, and I have not the least doubt that Silk, who was
nearly always right, was right about that as well. The head of a large
enterpriseeven a criminal enterprisecannot be wholly bad. If he
were, his subordinates could not trust him. Orchid signed the paper
he gave her without reading it, and accepted the money he gave
her to buy the yellow house, knowing that he would extort as much
money from her and her women as he couldbut knowing, too,
that he would not destroy her.
Marrows stick, as I ought to have said somewhat sooner, was
of a heavy wood so dark as to be nearly black, and had a silver band
below the knob with his name on it. I do not believe that he meant
to give it to me until the moment arrived, and I liked him and it
all the better for it. I showed Babbie that I had something to beat
him with now, and as a joke ordered him to put up the jib; but he
only glared, and I hauled it up myself Sometime after that I saw
him fingering the halyard, and was amazed.
A little after noon, as I recall, we passed Lizard. Course due
north, wind moderate and west by south. I had promised myself
that I would stand far out, and I did, and likewise that I would not
peer ashore in the hope of catching sight of Nettle or the twins.
That promise, as I quickly discovered, was worth very little. I stared,
and stood upon the gunwale, and stared some more, and waved.
All of it was to no purpose, since I saw no one.
Did anyone see me? The answer must surely be yes. Sinew did,
and launched our old boat, which he must have spent the days since
my departure in repairing and refitting. I did not see him or it, and
nothing that he had said before I left had suggested he might do
anything of the kind.
Marrows other gifts proved to be a small box of silver jewelry
with which to trade, and an even smaller box of silver bars. These
last I hid with great care, promising myself that I would not trade
them unless I was forced to. I would (as I then thought) find somebody
at Pajarocu who would watch the sloop for me while I went
for Silk. When the lander returned, Silk and I could sail back to
New Viron in it; and I would have the silver bars for my trouble,
and to help him if their help were required.
Wijzer had cautioned me against stopping at every port I came
to, but his advice had been unnecessary. I was acutely conscious
that putting in anywhere would cost me at least a day and might
easily cost two or three, and resolved to sail north until resupply
was urgent, put in at the nearest town, and turn west. That plan
held only until I passed the first. Thereafter it always seemed that
something was needed (water particularly) or advisable, and we put
in at almost every town along the way. As Babbie came to trust me,
the nocturnal nature of all hus asserted itself, so that he drowsed
by day but woke at shadelowa most useful arrangement even
when we were not in port. The wind was so steady and so reliably
out of the west or the southwest that I generally lashed the tiller
and let the sloop sail herself under jib and reefed mainsail. Before
I lay down each night, I instructed Babbie to wake me if anything
unusual occurred; like Marrow he grunted his assent, but he never
actually woke me, to the best of my memory. I have forgotten how
many towns we put in at altogether. Five or six in six weeks sailing
would be about right, I believe.
* *
It has made me acutely aware that this book of mine, which I
have intended for my wife and sons, may very well be read long
after theyand Iare gone. Even Hoof and Horn [sic], who must
just be entering young manhood now, will someday be as old as
Marrow and Patera Remora. There is argument about the length
of the year here, and how well it agrees with the year we knew in
the Long Sun Whorl, but the difference must be slight if there is
any; in fifty years, Horn and Hide [sic] may well be dead. In a
hundred, their sons and daughters will be gone too. These words,
which I pen with so little thoughtor hopeor expectationmay
possibly endure long beyond that, endure for two centuries or even
three, valued increasingly and so preserved with greater care as the
whorl they describe fades into history.
Sobering thoughts.
Many in and around our town were very happy to have Sclerodermas
short account of our departure, and overjoyed to have
the one that Nettle and I wrote. It sounds boastful, I know; but it
is true. They gave us cards, and even exchanged things they themselves
had made or grownthings that had cost them many days
of hard workfor a single copy. Yet to the best of my knowledge
(and I believe I would surely have heard) none of them began an
account of the founding of New Viron, the land raffle, and the rest
of it. After considering this at some length, I have decided to salt
this account of mine with facts that Nettle and my sons already
know, but that may be of interest or value to future generations.
Even today, who here in Gaon would know of the high wall that
surrounds Patera Remoras manteion and manse, for example, if I
failed to mention it?
We were lucky, perhaps. There was no lake or river where we
settled to provide fresh water, but there were a couple of well-diggers
among us, and a ten-cubit well there provided better and
purer water in abundance. To the west we have a fine harbor and
a sea full of fish, and on the lower slopes of the eastern mountains,
more timber than a hundred cities the size of Viron could ever need.
The mountains themselves are already providing us with iron, silver
and lead, as I believe I have mentioned before.
Most cannot have been so fortunate. Gaon has little access to
the sea; ten leagues from where I sit, the River Nadi reaches us
from the Highlands of Han in a succession of rapids and falls we
call the Cataracts. Downstream are the Lesser Cataracts, then tropical
forests and swamps, as well as a seemingly endless string of
foreign towns, many of them hostile to us and some hostile to
everyone. In theory, it might be possible to sail from here to the
sea; but no one has ever done so, and it seems likely no one ever
will.
Still, we have fresh water and fish from our river, timber, three
kinds of useful cane, reeds for matting and the like, and a rich,
black, alluvial soil that yields two generous crops per year. Even
quite near town, the jungle swarms with game, and there are wild
fruits for the picking. It seemed a poor place to me when I arrived,
but no one needs warm and solid houses with big stone fireplaces
here. Metals are imported and costly, which in the long run may
prove the gods blessing.
The gods (I should say) are very naturally those we knew in the
Whorl. Echidna gets more sacrifices than all the rest together, but
is generally shown as a loving mother holding the blind Tartaros
on her lap while her other children swarm around her vying for her
attention. A snake or two peeps from her hair, and her image in
the temple has a snake coiled around each ankle. (Our people are
not in the least afraid of snakes, as I ought to have explained. They
seem to think them almost supernatural, if not actually minor gods,
and set out bowls of milk laced with palm wine for them. Even a
mother-goddess with a roving collection of pet snakes seems entirely
normal. I have not been told of a single case of snakebite
while I have been here.)
* *
I nearly wrote this city, but Gaon is nothing like the size of
Viron or the foreign cities I saw from General Sabas airship. Viron
had more than half a million people. While I have no way of knowing
exactly how many we have in Gaon, I doubt that there are a
tenth that many.
Haul down! she shouted again, and I asked what she wanted.
Her answer was a shot.
I put the slug gun to my shoulder. I have seldom fired one,
but I tried very hard then to recall everything that I had ever heard
about themSinews advice, and that of a hundred othershow
to hold the slug gun and aim, and how to shoot well and swiftly.
I still recall my trepidation as I pushed off the safety catch, laid the
front sight on the pirate boat, and squeezed the trigger.
The report was an angry thunder, and the slug gun seemed to
convulse in my hands, nearly knocking me off my feet; but my first
shot was as ineffectual as theirs, as well as I could judge. Before I
could fire a second time, Babbie was beside me gnashing his tusks.
The sound of the shot had awakened my intelligence as well as
Babbie, however; I put down my slug gun and turned the sloop
into the wind until we were sailing as near it as I dared, and
trimmed sail while trying my best to ignore the shots aimed at me.
When I looked back at the long black craft pursuing us, I saw that
I had been right. She could not hold our course, which was nearly
straight out to sea.
The sloop was pitching violently, and dipping her bowsprit into
the waves that had been lifting her by the stern when the wind was
quartering. I returned to the slug gun nonetheless, and after two
or three more shots learned to fire at the highest point of each pitch,
just before the stern dropped from under me. Before I had to reload,
I had the satisfaction of seeing the woman who had been
shooting at me tumble headlong into the sea.
Were going to Pajarocu! I told Babbie while I reloaded my
gun with the cartridges from my pockets, and he nodded to show
that he had understood.
My intuition had outrun my reason. But as I fired again, I
realized it had been right. With one of their comrades dead, the
crew of the black boat would certainly try to keep us in sight until
shadelow, and during the night to position themselves between the
mainland and us, assuming that we were bound to some northern
port and would turn northeast as soon as we believed we were no
longer observed. If we did, and they were lucky, they would have
us in sight at shadeup.
The sea will be much wider at this point, if Wijzers map is
right, I explained to Babbie, and Im sure it would be dangerous
even for a boat much larger than ours, with more people on it and
ample supplies. But it wont be nearly as dangerous as going back
and falling in with that black boat again, and if we get across it will
be much faster. I nearly added that if he did not like the idea he
was free to jump out and swim. He nodded so trustingly that I was
ashamed of the impulse.
Perhaps I should be ashamed of having killed the woman who
fell from the black boat instead. It is a terrible thing to take the life
of another human being, and I had killed no one since Nettle and
I (with Marrow, Scleroderma, and many others) had fought Generalissimo
Siyufs troopers in the tunnels long ago. It is indeed a
terrible thingto reason and to conscience. It is not always felt as
a terrible thing, however. I felt more concern for my own life than
for hers at the time, and would gleefully have sent the black boat
to the bottom if it had been within my power.
The wind died away toward shadelow, but by then we were
well out of sight of both the black boat and the coast. I tied the
tiller and lay down with the slug gun beside me, resolved to wake
up in an hour or two and have a long and careful look at the sea
and the weather before I slept again; but when Babbie woke me,
grunting and tapping my cheek and lips with the horn-tipped toes
of his forelegs, the first light was already in the sky.
I sat up rubbing my eyes, knowing that I was on the sloop, but
believing for a few seconds at least that we were bound for New
Viron. The wind had picked up considerably (which I thought at
the time had been the reason that Babbie had felt it necessary to
wake me); but the hard chop of the previous day had been tamed
to quick swells that rolled the sloop gently and smoothly, our
masthead bowing deeply and politely to starboard, then to port, and
then to starboard again, as if it were the honored center of some
stately dance.
This was of some importance, because I glimpsed what appeared
to be a low island to port. In a calmer sea, I would have
climbed the mast for a better look at it, but my weight would have
amplified the roll, and if it amplified it to the point that we shipped
water the sloop would founder. I stood upon one of the cargo
chests instead, a very slight improvement on the foredeck.
If its an island, I told Babbie, we might be able to get
water and information there, but were not so badly off for water
yet, and wed be a lot more likely to find ourselves in trouble.
He had leaped to the top of another chest, though he was not
sure enough of his balance to rear on four hind legs there, as he
often did when he could brace a foreleg on the gunwale. He nodded sagely.
Im going to put out more sail to steady her, I told him.
Then she wont roll so much.
I shook out the mainsail and trimmed it, and went forward to
break out the triangular gaff-topsail. There were traces of blood on
the half-deck there, dark, clotting blood in a crevice where it had
survived Babbies tongue. What remained was so slight that I doubt
that I would have noticed it without the bright morning sun, and
the fact that the surface of the foredeck was scarcely two hands
width from my face as I pulled the gaff-topsail out. On hand and
knees on the foredeck, I looked for more blood and found traces
of it everywhereon the deck, on the bow, on the butt of the
bowsprit, and even on the forestay.
My first thought was that Babbie had caught a seabird and
eaten it; but there should have been feathers in that case, a few
blood-smeared feathers at least, and there were none. Not a bird,
I told him. Not a fish, either. A fish might jump on board, but
there would be scales. Or anyway Id think there would be. What
was it?
He listened attentively; and I sensed that he understood,
though he gave no sign of it.
When the topsail was up, I went to the tiller, steering us a bit
wider of the low island I had sighted. There was weed in the water,
as there often was off Lizard, long streamers of more or less green
leaf kept afloat by bladders about the size of garden peas. Like
everyone else who lived near the sea, we had collected this weed on
the beach and dried it for tinder; it occurred to me that we had
very little left, as well as very little firewood. Tinder without
firewood would be useless, but if I kept an eye out, I might snag a few
sticks of driftwood as well. I collected a good big wad of seaweed
and spread it over the waxed canvas covers of the cargo chests,
tossing the tiny crabs that clung to the strands back into the water.
Others skittered about the boat and swam in the bilges until Babbie
caught and ate them, crushing their shells between his teeth with
unmistakable relish and swallowing shell and all.
Watching him, I realized that I had gone astray when I had
supposed that he had eaten the creature whose blood I had found
on the half-deck. It could not have been small, and he would have
had to have eaten it entirely, skin, bones, and all. Yet he was clearly
hungry. I threw him an apple, and ate one myself after listening to
his quick, loud crunchings and munchings. By that time I had heard
what Babbie did to bones more than once, and I felt quite sure
that the noise he would have made while devouring an animal of
any size would certainly have awakened me.
What had happened, almost certainly, was that something had
climbed aboard at the bow, perhaps grasping the bowsprit in some
way, as I had when I had climbed back on board after escaping the
leatherskin. Babbie had charged and wounded it, and it had fallen
back into the sea. The clatter of Babbies trotters would not have
awakened me because I had become accustomed to hearing him
move about the boat while I slept. He had licked up all the blood
he could find, just as he later licked up the clotted blood I extracted
from the crevices between the planks with the point of Sinews
knife.
Something had fallen back into the sea, bleeding and badly
injured. What had it been? For a moment I thought of the woman
I had shot, swimming league upon league after our boat, intent
upon revenge. If I were spinning a fireside tale for children here,
no doubt it would be so; but I am recounting sober fact, and I
knew that any such thing was utterly impossible. The woman I had
shot was dead, in all probability; and if she was not dead, it was
because she had been rescued by the black boat from which she
had fallen.
Had it really come out of the sea at all? The inhumi could fly,
and though they possessed no blood of their own, they could and
did bleed profusely with the blood of others when they had recently
fed, as the inhumu we had called Patera Quetzal had in the tunnels.
Babbie would almost certainly attack an inhumu at sight, I decided.
But could he have thus caught and bested one? A big male hus
might have, but Babbie was no more than half grown.
What, then, had come out of the sea? Another leatherskin? Even
a small one would have killed or injured any hus bold enough to
attack it, I felt sure; and Babbie seemed quite unhurt. I resolved to
nap during the afternoon and stand watch with him after shadelow.
The sloop was no longer rolling as it had been, and by that
time was heeling rather less than it had when I had first set the
topsail. I shinnied up the mast (something I had not done in some
time, and found more difficult than I remembered) and had a look
around. The island I had seen to port was distant but plainly visible,
a level green plain hardly higher than the sea, dotted here and there
with bushes and small, swaying trees.
Looking to starboard, I thought that I could make out another,
similar, island there. If those are parts of the same landmass, we
may have found our western continent a lot sooner than we expected,
I told Babbie; but I knew it could not be true.
The weed in the water became thicker and thicker as the day
wore on; but there was no driftwood.
* *
The shaman may have had something to do with that after all,
because the western peoples do not make our distinction between
the human and the bestial. The shearbear is a person, certainly, and
an important one, and Babbie was counted as a sort of son to us,
an adopted son or foster child. When I learned this, I smiled to
think that it made Krait his brother, and made him Kraits.
So it was that day, as I dozed in the shade of the foredeck.
Another sailor sailed with me, and I felt that I could rest as long as
the sea remained calm. If a hand on the tiller was needed, he would
provide it, and if it was advisable to take another reef in the mainsail,
he would take it.
When I woke, I found that the sun was touching the horizon.
The wind had died away to a breath, and the jib, which I was nearly
sure I had struck before lying down, had been set again. I let out
the last reef in the mainsail (which I had, I thought, double reefed)
and trimmed, explaining to Babbie everything that I was doing and
why I was doing it as I worked. If he understood any of it, he said
nothing.
You can turn in now, if you want, I told him, and much to
my surprise he lay down under the little foredeck just as I had,
though he was up and about again in less than an hour. After that,
we stood watch together.
There was nothing much to watch, or at any rate that was how
it seemed at the time. The weed was thicker than ever, so that I
felt it was actively resisting our passage and had to be pushed aside
by the bow like floating ice. I was nodding at the tiller when Babbie
began grunting with excitement and with a running leap plunged
over the side.
As I have said, he was a faster and a stronger swimmer than
any man I have ever known, his multitude of short, powerful limbs
being well adapted to it. For ten minutes if not more I watched
him swim away, noticing the faint green glow of his wake; then his
small, dark head was lost among the gentle swells. After so many
days of increasingly less surly companionship, it was a strange and
forlorn feeling to find myself alone in the sloop again.
In half an hour he was back, still swimming strongly but not
making anything like the progress he had earlier because he was
pushing a small tree ahead of him, roots and all. I had hoped to
snare driftwood in the form of a broken timber or a few floating
sticks; now it seemed that all the gods had chosen to help me at
once.
It was too big to bring on board. I lashed it alongside until I
could lop off as many branches as would fill our little woodbox.
Sinews hunting knife was large and heavy enough to chop with
after a fashion, although barely. A hatchet (with a pang of nostalgia
I recalled the one that Silk had used to repair the roof of our
manteion, the hatchet he had left behind at Bloods) would have been
a good deal better. I resolved to add one to the sloops equipment
at the first opportunity; but however wise, it was a resolution that
did me no good while I was leaning over the gunwale to hack away
at those springy branches, which were still full of sap and decked
with green leaves.
I hope you werent hoping for a fire tonight, I remarked to
Babbie. This stuffs going to have to dry for days before it will
burn.
He chewed a twig philosophically.
For a moment there I thought I saw somebody. It sounded
so silly that I was ashamed to voice the thought, even though there
was no one but my little hus to hear it. A face, very pale, down
under the water. It was probably a fish, really, or just a piece of
waterlogged wood.
Babbie appeared skeptical, so I added, Some trees have white
bark. Theyre not all brown or black. Sensing that he still doubted
me, I said, Or green. Some are white. You must have lived in the
mountains before somebody caught you, so you must surely have
seen snowbirch, and you probably know that underneath the bark
of a lot of trees, the wood is whitish or yellow. A log that had been
in the water for a long time
I broke off my foolish argument because something had begun
to sing. It was not Seawracks song (which torments me for hours
at a time even now), but the Mothers, a song without words, or
at any rate without words that I could understand. Listen, I
ordered Babbie; but his ears, which usually lay flat against his skull,
were up and spread like sails, so that his head appeared twice its
normal size.
There is a musical instrument, one that is in fact little more
than a toy, that we in Viron used to call Molpes dulcimer. Strings
are arranged in a certain way and drawn tight above a chamber of
thin wood that swells the sound when they are strummed by the
wind. Horn made several for his young siblings before we went into
the tunnels; when I made them, I dreamed of making a better one
someday, one constructed with all the knowledge and care that a
great craftsman would bring to the task, a fitting tribute to Molpe.
I have never built it, as you will have guessed already. I have the
craft now, perhaps; but I have never had the musical knowledge the
task would require, and I never will.
If I had built it, it might have sounded something like that,
because I would have made it sound as much like a human voice
as I could; and if I were the great craftsman I once dreamed of
becoming, I would have come very nearand yet not near enough.
That is how it was with the Mothers voice. It was lovely and
uncanny, like Molpes dulcimer; and although it was not in truth
very remote as well as I could judge, there was that in it that
sounded very far away indeed. I have since thought that the distance
was perhaps of time, that we heard a song on that warm, calm
evening that was not merely hundreds but thousands of years old,
sung as it had been sung when the Short Sun of Blue was yet young,
and floating to us across that lonely sea with a pain of loss and
longing that my poor words cannot express.
No, not even if I could whisper them aloud to you of the future,
and certainly not as I am constrained to speak to you now
with Orebs laboring black wingfeather.
Nor with a quill from any other bird that ever flew.
* *
When I woke, I saw that we were much nearer the low green
island than I had imagined. If we got a good wind, I decided, we
would sail on in search of Pajarocu; but if Molpe permitted us only
the light and vagrant airs I more than half expected, I would steer
for the island, and tie up there until we had sailing weather.
It was noon before we reached it, pushed along at times by
faint breezes that never lasted long, and handicapped almost as
often by others. I jumped from the sloop to make her fast, and found
myself on a moist and resilient turf that was not grass, and that
stretched its bright green carpet not merely to the edge of the salt
sea, but beyond the edge, extending some considerable distance
underneath the water, where it had been crushed and torn by our
prow. Nowhere was there a tree, a stump, or a stoneor anything
else that I could tie the sloop to. I sharpened a couple of sticks of
the green firewood we had gotten the day before, drove them
deeply into the soft turf with a third, and moored to them.
While I was sharpening my stakes and pounding them in, I
argued with myself about Babbie. He was clearly eager to get off
the sloop after having been confined there for several weeks, and
though I had planned to leave him to guard it, I could see for a
league at least in every direction, and could see nothing for him to
protect it from. Determined to be prudent no matter how great the
temptation, I sternly ordered him to stay where he was, fetched my
slug gun, and set off by myself, walking inland for a half hour or
so. Finding no fresh water and seeing nothing save a few distant
trees of no great size, I returned to the sloop and pulled up my
stakes (which was alarmingly easy), and sailed along that strange
shore until midafternoon.
Sailed, I just wrote, and I will not cross it out. But I might
almost have said we drifted. In three or four hours, we may have traveled
half a league, although I doubt it. At this rate well die
of thirst ten years before we sight the western land, I told Babbie,
and tied up again at a point where the green plain seemed slightly
more variegated, having hills and dales of the size loved by children,
and a tree or bush here and there. I moored the sloop as before,
but when I left it this time I let Babbie come with me.
It puzzled me that an island so richly green should be so desolate,
too. I do not mean that I did not know what that bright
green carpet was. I pulled up some and tasted it; and when I did,
and saw it in my hand, a little, weak, torn thing and not the vast
spongy expanse over which Babbie and I wandered, I knew it for
the green scum I had often seen washed ashore after storms, too
salty for cattle, or even goats or any other such animal.
And yet it seemed irrational that so vast a quantity of vegetable
matter should go to waste. Pas, who built the Whorl, would have
arranged things better, I felt, little knowing that I would soon
encounter one of the gods of this whorl of Blue that we call ours in
spite of the fact that it existed whole ages before we did, and that
it has been only a scant generation since we came to it.
For an hour or more we walked inland, and then, just as I was
about to turn back and call for Babbie (who ranged ahead of me,
and sometimes ranged so far that he would be lost to sight for
several minutes), I saw the silvery sheen of water between two of
the gentle, diminutive hills.
At first I thought that I had reached the farther side of the
island, and hurried ahead to see if it were true; but as we came
nearer, I saw more hills beyond the water, and realized that we had
found a little tarn, captive rain nestling between hills for the same
reason that similar pools are found in the mountains here, or among
the mountains inland of New Viron; then I trotted faster still, hoping
that it might be fresh enough to drink.
Before I reached it, I knew that it was not, because Babbie had
plunged his muzzle into it and quickly withdrawn it in disgust. I
was determined to test it for myself, however, and stubbornly
continued to walk, impelled by a vague notion that we human beings
might be more tolerant of salt than hus, or failing that, that I might
be thirstier than Babbie. Common sense should have sent me back
to the sloop; if it had, I would almost certainly have lost Babbie
then and there. As it was, we both came very near death.
When I bent to taste the water, I saw something huge move in
its depths, as though a great sheet of the green scum had been torn
free and was drifting and undulating near the bottom of the tarn.
I dipped up a handful of water, and had just brought it toward my
mouth when I realized that the undulating thing I had seen was in
fact rushing toward me.
I may have shouted a warning to BabbieI cannot be sure. I
know that I backed away hurriedly, brought up the slug gun, and
cycled the action to put a cartridge in the chamber.
The thing erupted from the water and seemed almost to fly
toward us. I fired, and it sank at once into the shallows. I was left
with a not very clear impression of something at once huge and
flat. Of black and white, and great staring yellow eyes.
Babbie was clearly terrified. All his bristles stood straight up,
making him barrel-sized, humpbacked, and as spiny as a bur. His
gait, which was always apt to be lively, had become an eight-legged
dance, and he gnashed his tusks without ceasing. Although he had
retreated from the tarn until his thrashing tail whisked my knees,
he interposed himself between the unknown thing we both feared
and me. I was badly frightened, too; and in spite of the assurance
I gave myself again and again that I was not as terrified as Babbie,
it was he who was trying to protect me.
I must have looked over my shoulder a hundred times as we
left the place, seeing nothing. When we reached the crest of the
rounded ridge that would shield the surface of the water from our
view once we had crossed, I stopped and turned around for a better
view. An appallingly vivid memory of what I saw then has remained
with me beyond even death.
For the great, flat creature I had shot at, and had by that time
convinced myself that I had killed, was rising from the shallows. It
lifted itself tentatively at first, looming above, and then subsiding
into, the water. In a few seconds it rose again and left the tarn
altogether, running very fast over the soft green vegetation as a bat
runs, using its wide leathern wings as legs. It was black above and
white beneath, oddly flattened as I have said, and larger than the
carpet in the reception hall of the Caldés Palace. I fired once as it
dashed toward us, and had pumped a fresh cartridge into the chamber
before it bowled me over. The wings that wrapped me then
were as rough as files, but rippled like flags as they propelled me
toward the gaping, white-lipped mouth.
It was Babbie who saved me, charging that monstrous flatfish
(or whatever it was) and laying open the tough skin of one wing.
I got my arm free then, and was able to draw Sinews knife, which
I plunged into the creature again and again until it was covered
with its own blood.
Here I would like very much to write that I killed it with
Sinews knife; the truth is that I do not know. A slug is a formidable
projectile, so much so that a single shot will often fell a horse or a
fourhorn, as I have seen, and when we examined the carcass of the
creature from the tarn I found that both my shots had struck it
within a hand of its head. I cannot doubt that both did a good deal
of damage, although the first clearly did not do enough to prevent
the things pursuing us when it had recovered from the initial shock.
Babbies efforts must be considered, too. Certainly the wounds
he inflicted on it in the space of five or ten seconds would have
killed half a dozen men.
Yet, in my heart of hearts, I believe that it was Sinews long
hunting knife, that in stabbing frantically at the only parts of the
creature I could reach I struck some vital organ by chance. I believe
that was what happened, I say. I cannot be sure.
Afterward I examined the knife with care and found that I had
dulled its edge somewhat when I had cut the wood, although not
nearly as much as I had feared. Since I have not described it in
detail until now, I believe, I shall do so here. The blade was a hand
and two fingers in length, two fingers wide, and very thick and
strong at the back. It was a single-edged knife made for skinning
and cutting up game, not a dagger, and had been forged (both
blade and grip) from a single billet of steel by a smith in New Viron,
who had followed a sketch that my son Sinew had made for him.
The minor god Hephaestus, who in Old Viron we reckoned the
patron of all who worked with fire, stood invisible behind Gadwall
as he worked, I feel certain. I have heard men speak of better blades,
but I have never met with one.
* *
So it was after the devil-fish was dead. Perhaps I would have
behaved better if another human being had been present, but as it
was, my hands shook so violently that I found it very difficult to
sheath Sinews knife. We like to think (or at any rate I always have)
that our arms and legs will not betray us; but in moments like that
we learn just how wrong we are. My hands trembled, my knees had
lost their strength, and tears I could scarcely blink back threatened
to wash the devil-fishs blood from my face. I tried to joke with
Babbie then, to make light of what had happened to us; my teeth
chattered so badly, however, that he thought I was angry and stood
well clear of me, lagging behind so as to keep me under observation
for safetys sake.
The most logical thing to do would have been to return to the
tarn and wash there. The thought filled me with horror, and I
promised myself instead that I would wash in the sea; and so I was
covered with blood when we returned to the sloop and found Seawrack
waiting on board. It is a testament to her courage that she
did not scream at the sight and leap back into the water.
As for me, I was ready to believe that fear and the fight with
the monstrous bat-fish had destroyed my reason. To see her as I
saw her then, naked except for her gold and the waist-length mantle
of her hair (which was gold too in places, but in others green), you
must imagine first the days and nights at sea and the hours-long
walk across that featureless green plain, where it seemed that no
one and nothing lived in the whole whorl but Babbie and me.
6
SEAWRACK
I explained that I did not rule (for I am in reality no more than
an advisor to the people here) and that I could not and would not
take responsibility for two towns so widely separated.
They then placed several problems before me, saying that these
were cases that had arisen in Skany during the past year, and asked
me to judge each and explain the principles on which I made my
decisions. In one, both parties might well have been telling the
truth as they saw it. It could not possibly be decided by someone
who could not question them both, and question witnesses as well,
and I said so.
I will set it down here.
This man now desires to marry a young woman, hardly more
than a girl, whom he had employed as a servant previously. The
bride (as I shall call her) is entirely willing. The difficulty is that a
certain poor woman has come forward to claim the bride-price,
saying that she is the brides mother. The bride herself denies this,
saying that her father was left behind in the Long Sun Whorl, and
that her mother was a woman (whom she names) who perished
when their lander took flight. Perhaps I should say here that it is
their custom for the groom or his family to buy the bride from her
parents; but that when the bride is orphaned she is bought from
herselfthat is to say, she receives her own bride-price, which
becomes her property.
All this brought Seawrack and the gold she wore to mind vividly;
yet her case was in certain respects the very reverse of this one.
I had intended to write a great deal about her tonight in any event,
and I will do so. The reversals should be obvious enough.
Her pale gold hair was long, as I have said, and in places dyed
a misted green by some microscopic sea-plant that had taken refuge
there. I am tempted to say that it was her hair that impelled me to
name her as I did, but it would not be entirely true; the truth is
that her name, which was no word of the Common Tongue, baffled
me, and that Seawrack was near to it in sound and seemed to suit
her very well.
Her face was beautiful, strong, and foreign. By that last, I mean
that I had never before seen anyone with her sharp chin, very high
cheekbones, and tilted eyes. Her skin was as white as foam in those
days, which made her lips a blazing scarlet and her midnight-blue
eyes darker than the night. I noticed her nakedness first, as I suppose
any man would, and then the length of her legs and the womanly
contours of her body, and only then the gold she wore. It was
not until she released her hold on the backstay and waved, very
shyly and tentatively, with her left hand that I realized that her right
arm had been amputated just below the shoulder.
Hello? Her voice was just above the threshold of audibility.
And again: Hello?
That word is one of the most ordinary, and I remember that
when I was a small boy Maytera Marble used to ridicule people who
used it, saying that we ought to bless those whom we greet in the
name of the god of the day.
Or if we were too self-conscious for that, to say good morning, good
afternoon, good evening, or good day. But I shall never forget
seeing Seawrack as she stood in my old sloop, the way in which she
waved to me (she was terrified of Babbie, as I quickly discovered),
and the delicious music of her voice when she whispered, Hello?
As for what I replied, I may have said, Good afternoon, or
Hello! or Is it going to snow? Or any other nonsense that you
might propose. Most likely, I was too stunned to say anything at
all.
I am one of you, she told me solemnly, and I thought that
she meant one of the crew of our boat and tried to say something
gracious about needing help without mentioning her missing arm.
There is a saying among the fishermen, One hand for yourself and
one for the boat. It means that in a rough sea you are to hold on
with one hand and do your work with the other, and as I spoke to
Seawrack I could not rid my mind of the idiotic thought that she
would be unable to do it.
Do you like me?
It was said so artlessly and with such childlike seriousness that
I knew there could be only one answer. Yes, I told her, I
like you very much.
She smiled. It was as if a child had smiled, and by smiling had
rendered her face transparent, so that I could see the woman she
would someday be and had always been, the woman who stands
behind all women and stands behind even Kypris, Thelxiepeia, and
Echidna. If that woman has a name I do not know it; Seawrack
is as good a name as any.
Remaining where the smooth green shore dipped underwater,
because it was plain that she was badly frightened, I asked where
she had come from, and she pointed over the side. Yes, I said,
I can see youve been swimming. Did you swim here from another
boat?
Down there. Do you want me to show you? This was said
eagerly, so I said I did. She dove, not stepping up onto the gunwale
as I would have, but diving across it with liquid ease.
I went aboard then, and Babbie with me, expecting to see her
in the water. She was not there, although for ten minutes if not
more I walked from one side to the other, and from bow to stern
looking for her. She had vanished utterly.
At last I saw my own reflection (which I had been trying to
look past before) and realized that I was covered with the batfishs
blood, dry and cracking by this time, and remembered that I had
planned to wash myself in the sea as soon as we got back to the
sloop.
I had already begun to doubt my sanity. It occurred to me then
that the batfishs blood had somehow poisoned me, or that I had
eaten its fleshI had actually cut some for Babbieand so
poisoned myself. I questioned him then, and from his answers knew
that the young woman I had seen had been real. I had seen and
spoken to a young woman with one arm who had worn rings and
anklets set with gems, a young woman with a fine gold chain about
her waist.
Red earrings, too, I told him. Or pink. I caught a glimpse
of those through her hair. They may have been coral.
His look said very plainly, Well, I saw no such thing.
A year or two older than Hoof and Hide, Id say. Rounded
and very graceful, but there was muscle there. We saw it when she
dove. And she...
The complete implausibility of what I was saying crashed down
on me, and I pulled off my boots and stockings in silence, jumped
out of the sloop, and washed myself and my clothes as well.
Returning, I spread everything in the foredeck to dry. Do you
remember the singing we heard? That was her. It had to be, and shes
as beautiful as she is real. He regarded me sheepishly for a
few seconds, then slunk off to the foredeck and his accustomed
place in the bow.
I shaved and combed what remained of my hair, and put on
fresh underclothes, another tunic, and my best trousers. The ones
I had washed in seawater would be stiff and unpleasantly sticky, I
knew, unless it rained so that I could rinse them in fresh. Because
the air was sullen and still, I thought it might; and I made what
small preparations I could, bailing the sloop dry and breaking out
the few utensils I had that could be employed to catch rainwater.
After that, there was nothing more to do. Neither the vacant
plain of green that seemed almost to roll like the sea, nor the oily
sea itself, held anything of interest. I reviewed my brief conversation
with Seawrack (whom I did not yet call that) trying to decide
whether I might have kept her with me if I had spoken differently.
For I wanted her to remain with me. I wanted that very badly,
as I was forced to admit to myself as I shaved. It was not only that
I desired her. (What man can see a beautiful woman naked and not
desire her?) Nor was it that I hoped to take her gold; I would have
cut off my own arm rather than rob her. It was that I felt certain
she needed my help, which I was very eager to provide, and that I
had somehow frightened her back to the troubles she had fled.
The men who had commanded the black boat would certainly
have robbed me if they could, and would very likely have killed me
as well. They would not have killed an attractive young woman,
however. Not if I knew anything of criminals and criminal ways.
They would have forced her to join them, as they had no doubt
forced the woman I had shot and the rest. They had (so I imagined)
taken Seawracks clothing so she would not escape; but she had
escaped, and had first decked herself in their loot when she could
find nothing else to wearunless I was in sober fact a madman.
She had said, I am one of you. I should have welcomed her
then, and I wished desperately that I had. I had asked about the
boat she had come from, and she had said it was Down there.
Her boat had sunk after she got here, plainly; and while she
had been waiting for us, she had swum underwater to inspect the
wreck. When I had said that I wanted to see it, she had assumed
that I would go with her, and so had dived into the seaafter
which, something had prevented her from surfacing again.
I recalled the batfish with sick horror. It had been in the tarn,
not in the sea; but the tarn must have been linked with the sea in
some fashion, since its water had been too salt to drink and it could
not have supported a creature as large as the devilish thing we found
in it for long.
I baited several hooks, tied them to floats, and set them out
around the sloop; and after an hour or so of inactivity which by
that time I found very welcome, caught some good-sized fish that
I gutted and filleted with the same knife that had killed the batfish.
Using what little dry wood we had, I built a small fire in the sandbox,
rolled my fillets in cornmeal and cooking oil, and fried the first
in the little long-handled pan we always kept on the sloop.
Are you going to eat that?
I did not actually drop the pan, but I must have tilted it enough
for the fillet to slide into the fire. Youre back! I had practically
broken my neck looking around at her; I stood up as I spoke, and
that is when it must have happened.
She made me.
Seawrack was not in the sloop with me, but she had pulled
herself up to look over the gunwale. The music of her voice woke
Babbie, and I saw again that she was terribly afraid of him. I assured
her that he would not harm her, and told him emphatically that he
was not to hurt her or do anything that might alarm her.
Can I...?
What is it? I asked. You can do anything you likewith
me to help, if youll let me.
Can I have one of the others?
These? I picked up one of the other fillets, and she nodded.
Absolutely. Ill cook it for you, too, if you want. I glanced
at the pan and realized that the one I had prepared for myself was
burning on the coals. I added, Not that Im very good at it.
She was looking at the one I held and licking her lips, with
something utterly wretched in her expression.
Would you like it now? I asked. I know some people enjoy
raw fish.
A new voice said, Do not give it to her. It seemed that the
words issued from the sea itself.
The top of the speakers head broke the water, and she rose
effortlessly until the oily swell reached no higher than her waist. I
can never forget that gradual, facile ascension. Like the face of Kypris
seen in the glass of General Sabas airship it remains vivid today,
the streaming form of a cowled woman robed in pulsing red, a
woman three times my own stature at least, with the setting sun
behind her. I knelt and bowed my head.
Help my daughter into your boat.
I did as she had commanded, although Seawrack needed scant
help from me.
Prepare that fish as you would for yourself. When it is ready,
give it to her.
I said, Yes, Great Goddess.
The goddess (for I was and am quite confident that she was
one of the Vanished Gods of Blue) used Seawracks name, saying,
You must go to your own people. Your time with me is ended.
Seawrack nodded meekly.
Do not return. For my own sake I would have you stay. For
yours I tell you go.
I understand, Mother.
This man may hurt you.
I swore that I would do nothing of the sort.
If he does, you must bear it as women do. If you hurt him,
it is the same. Then the goddess spoke to me. Do not permit
her to eat uncooked flesh, or to catch fish with her hands. Do not
allow her to do anything that your own women do not do.
I promised I would not.
Protect her from your beast, as you would one of your own
women.
Her parting words were for Seawrack. I have ceased to be for
you. You are alone with him.
More swiftly than she had risen, she slid beneath the swell. For a moment I
glimpsed through the wateror thought that I didsomething huge
and dark on which she stood.
Sometime after that, when I had recovered myself, Seawrack asked,
Are you going to hurt me?
No, I said. I will never hurt you. I lied, and meant it with
all my heart. As I spoke, Babbie grunted loudly from his place in
the bow; I feel sure that he was pledging himself just as I had, but
it frightened her.
I squatted and rolled her strip of raw fish in the oily cornmeal,
put it in the pan, and held the pan over the fire. Babbie wont
hurt you, I said. Ill make one of these for him next, and then
cook another one for me, so that we can all eat together.
He was already off the foredeck and edging nearer to the fire.
Babbie, you are not to hurt... I tried to pronounce the
name the goddess had used, and the young woman who bore it
laughed nervously.
I cant say that, I told her. Is it all right if I call you
Seawrack?
She nodded.
This is Babbie. Hes a very brave little hus, and hell protect
you anytime that you need it. So will I. My name is Horn.
She nodded again.
Thinking of the silver jewelry Marrow had given me to trade
with, I said, You must like rings and necklaces. I have some,
though they are not as fine as yours. Would you like to see them?
You may have any that you like.
No, she told me. You do.
I like them? I flipped her fillet, catching it in the pan.
She laughed again. I know you do. Mother says so, and she
gave me these so you would like me. She took off her necklace
and offered it to me, but I assured her that I liked her more than
her jewelry. In the end we put her gold in the box with my silver,
from which I gave her an ornamented comb. I contrived a sort of
skirt for her as well, wrapping her in a scrap of old sailcloth which
I fastened with a silver pin.
That evening, while we were watching the slender column of
dark smoke rise and admiring the fashion in which the sparks flung
up by our green firewood danced upon the air, she put Babbies
head in her lap, something I would never have thought of doing.
As her left hand stroked it, I noticed the dried blood among the
folds of skin on the stump that had been her right arm, and understood
why she had been so afraid of Babbie, and whose blood
had stained the deck at the bow. It was not you who sang for us,
I told her. It was the goddess. I thought at first that it must have
been you, but Ive heard her speak now, and that was her voice.
To make you like me.
I understand. Like the gold. She wanted to find you a new
home. Mothers are like that.
Seawrack shook her head, but I felt certain I had been right in
principle.
So it was, I believe, in the case that the ambassadors from Skany
described to me. The woman who had perished when their lander
left the Whorl had been the brides natural mother. The poor
woman who called herself the brides mother now had adopted her,
or at least considered herself to have adopted her, and when she
was old enough had found her a new home in the house of a man
of wealth and position. Each was speaking what she believed to be
the truth, and to settle the affair between them it would be necessary
to determine the degree to which a real adoption had taken
place. Had there been any attempt to record the adoption with
someone in authority? Did the poor womans natural children (if
she had any) consider the bride their sister? Did the poor woman
habitually speak of her as her daughter? And so on.
Seawracks situation differed in that she considered the sea
goddess her mothermuch more so, I would guess, than the goddess
considered Seawrack her daughter. Accepting the gold, I had accepted
Seawrack; it was her dowry. The goddesss song, however,
had not been payment but a species of charm (I am using the word
very loosely) to soften our hearts and insure Seawrack a more
friendly reception next time.
Did it work? I believe that I would have welcomed Seawrack
without it, but would I? I was conscious that I was, at least in some
sense, betraying Nettle; but what was I to do? Leave a maimed and
friendless young woman alone in the middle of the sea?
She was frightened that night, and in pain from her amputation.
I held her; and we slept, for the few hours that either of us slept,
with my arms around her and her back to my chest.
* *
Seawrack, as I have said, was waiting for us in the sloop. When
I was a boy in Viron and I heard from her own lips how Chenille
had wandered naked through the tunnels, I had longed to see her
like that. She was, as I tried to make clear in the book Nettle wrote
with me, a large and muscular woman, with big shoulders, a sharply
denned waist, amply rounded hips, and large breasts. At that time,
I had never seen a naked woman, not even Nettle, although I had
caressed Nettles breasts.
When I saw Seawrack in the sloop, it was as if I were a boy
again, shaking in the grip of wonder. Perhaps it was the spell of the
sea goddesss song, although I do not think so. If there was magic
in it, the magic was in Seawracks body, so tenderly and so sleekly
curved, in her face, and most of all in her glance. She was a woman,
but did not yet know that she was a woman. She had left childhood
behind, but had taken all that is most attractive in children with
her. Seeing her as the boy I had been would have, I would have
given anything in the whorl to have her love. And I felt certain that
I would never have it.
Soon I was to gaze upon the sea goddess of the Vanished People.
Perhaps she was Scylla in another form, as Silk once confided
to me that Kypris was becoming another form of the Outsider,
whose many forms had spoken to Silk that unforgettable noon on
the ball court as a crowd speaks, while one whispered to his right
ear and another to his left.
Here I am reminded irresistibly of Quadrifons, Olivines god,
he of the four faces. Is it even possible that he is not a form of the
Outsider as well? Considering Olivine, and the life she lived as a
species of ghost in the Caldés Palace, I do not think so. And if
Quadrifons (whose sign of crossroads may well have become Pass
sign of addition) was in the final reckoning none other than the
Outsiderwhich now seems certain to memight not the Mother
be Scylla as well?
Perhaps.
But I do not really believe it. In a town one cobbler, as the
saying goes, and in another town another; but they are not the same
cobbler, although they own similar tools, do similar work, and may
even be similar in appearance.
Having the sea, as we in Old Viron did not, the Neighbors had
also a goddess of the sea. She may have been their water goddess
as well, as Scylla is at home; I cannot say.
Perhaps all gods and goddesses are very large; certainly Echidna
was when I saw her in our Sacred Window. Our gods, the gods of
Old Viron, dwelt in Mainframe. I saw Mainframe in company with
Nettle and many others, and even what I saw was a very large place,
although I was told that most of it was underground. It may be
that our gods did not come among us except by enlightenment and
possession because they were too large to do so; even the godlings
that they send among the people now are, for the most part, immense.
A man may like insects. Some men do. A man who likes
them may make them gifts, giving a crumb soaked in honey or some
such thing. But although that man may walk, he may not walk with
his pets the insects. He is too big for it.
So it is, I believe, with the Mother. She dwells in the sea, and
Seawrack spoke of hiding at times within her body as one might
speak of taking shelter in the Grand Manteion, the Palace, or some
other big building. Possibly the Mothers worshippers cast their
sacrifices into the waves instead of burning them. (I do not know, and
offer the suggestion as a mere guess.) What seems certain is that her
worshippers were the Vanished People, whom I did not then call the
Neighbors; and that they are gone, although not entirely gone.
She waits.
For what I do not know. It may be for her worshippers to
return again. Or for us to become her new worshippers, as we well
may.
Or perhaps merely for death. She shaped herself, I believe, a
woman of the Vanished People so that they would love her. We are
here now, and so she shaped for me a woman of my own racea
woman beside whom Chenille would stand like a childwho could
sing and speak to me. Beneath it the old sea goddess waited, and
was not of our human race, nor of the race of the Vanished People,
whom I was to come to know.
I once had a toy, a little wooden man in a blue coat who was
moved by strings. When I played with him, I made him walk and
bow, and spoke for him. I practiced until I thought myself very
clever. One day I saw my mother holding the two sticks that held
his strings, and my little wooden man saluting my youngest sister
much more cleverly than I could have made him do it, and laughing
with his head thrown back, then mourning with his face in his
hands. I never spoke of it to my mother, but I was angry and
ashamed.
* *
The storms are worse. Green is great in the sky. Like the eye
of a devil, people say; but the truth for me is that it is so large that
I look up at it and think on other days, and fancy sometimes that
I can smell the rot, and see the trees that are eating trees that are
eating trees. I never hear the wild song of the wind without recalling
other days still, and how we built our house and our mill, Nettle.
You were the dream of my boyhood. You shared my life, and
I shared yours, and together we brought forth new lives. Who can
say what the end of that may be? Only the Outsider. He is wise,
Nettle. So wise. And because he is, he is just.
I hear the winds song now at my window. I have opened the
shutters. The flame of my lamp flickers and smokes. Through the
open window I see Green, which will be gone in an hour as it passes
beyond the windowframe. I want to call out to you that the tides
are coming; but no doubt they have come already. It may be that
the log walls of our house are turning and leaping in the waves as
I write. Time is a sea greater than our sea. You knew that long
before I went away. I have learned it here. Its tides batter down all
walls, and what the tides of time batter down is never rebuilt.
Not larger.
Not smaller.
Never as it was.
* *
Nor did we. I remember lying like that, then turning on my
back so that both my ears might listen. I wrote about the song of
the wind, too; but I am not certain that I had ever really heard it
until that night, although I thought I had. To hear the song of the
wind truly, as I heard it that night, I think that you must hear it as
I did, lying on your back in a rocking, pitching boat upon the wide,
wide sea, with a woman younger than yourself asleep beside you.
The wind was a woman, too. Sometimes it was a woman like
General Mint, a small woman with a neat, pure, honest little face,
a woman in flowing black astride the tallest white stallion anyone
ever saw, singing as she rode like a flame before a thousand wild
troopers who rode as she did or ran like wolves, firing and reloading
as they came and halting only to die.
And sometimes the wind was a woman like the tall, proud
women of Trivigaunte, galloping along Sun Street with their heads
up and their lances leveled, women singing to their wonderful
horses, horses that had always to be held back and never had to be
urged forward. And sometimes the wind was a singing woman like
the one beside me, a sea woman who sings like her Mother, a
woman that no one ever completely understands, with silver-blue
combers in her eyes.
As I listened, the wind seemed to me more and more to be all
three women and a million more, spurred onwardfaster, always
fasterby the rumbling voice of Pas. Beneath me, the sloop was
lifted by giants hand, and rolled so far that Seawrack was tumbled
onto me and clutching me in fear while Babbie squealed at the tiller.
Outside the shelter of the foredeck, I was drenched to the skin
in an instant. It was pitch dark except when the lightning flashed,
and the sloop was laid over on her beam ends and in danger of
being dismasted. I meant to cut her moorings before they pulled
her under, but there was no need. The stakes I had pushed into
the damp softness of that mossy shore had pulled free, and we were
being driven before the storm like a childs lost boat or a stick of
driftwood, half foundering. I put out the little jib, hoping to steady
her and keep her stern to the waves, but had hardly set it before it
was carried away.
I will not write about everything that took place that night,
because most of it would be of interest only to sailors, who are not
apt to be found so far inland as this. I rigged a sea anchor that
tamed the diabolical pandemonium of boat and storm to mere
insanity; and Seawrack and I bailed and bailed until I thought my
arms would fall off of my shoulders; but the sloop never foundered
or sunk, or lost a stick. I have never been prouder of something
that I myself have made, not even my mill.
What I want to tell whoever may read this is that in the flashes
of lightning, which for whole hours were so frequent as to provide
a hectic illumination that was nearly constant, I saw the green plain
part for us, ripped in two by the fury of the waves, and seeing it
solifted by great waves at one moment, then crashing down upon
the sea again at the nextI knew it for what it was.
At that place in the middle of the sea, the bottom is not leagues
removed from the surface; but is, as Seawrack confirmed for me,
not more than two or three chains distant from it. Great herbs (I
do not know what else to call them) grow there that are not trees,
nor grasses, nor ferns, but share the natures of all three. Their
tangled branches, lying upon the surface, are draped with the smooth
green life over which Babbie and I wandered. It may be that it
covers them as orchids cover our trees here in Gaon, or as strangling
lianas cover the cannibal trees of Green. Or it may be that they
cover themselves with it as the trees of land cover themselves with
leaves and fruit. I do not know. But I know that it is so, because I
saw it that night. I saw what I had once thought islands torn like
banana leaves, and tossed like flotsam by the waves.
If you do not believe this, believe at least that I believed that
I saw it. And Seawrack also saw it. She confirmed for me that she
had, although she did not like to speak of it. Babbie saw it, too,
and rushed at it; it laid hold of him as a man might lay hold of a
ladys lapdog, and would, I believe, have thrown him over the side
and into the raging water if Seawrack had not prevented it. In appearance
it was like a man of many arms and legs, long dead and
covered over with crabs and little shellfish and other things; and yet
it moved and possessed great strength, although I think it feared
the storm as much or more than we. I do not know how such a
monstrous thing came to be, but I have thought about it again and
again, and at last settled on the explanation that I offer here. If you
find a better one, I congratulate you.
Imagine that one of the Vanished People gained great favor
with one of his peoples gods, those gods who are said by us to
have vanished too. Or who, at least, we think of as having vanished.
This god, let us suppose, offered his worshipper a great giftbut
only one. Silk, I believe, might say that this worshipper was in truth
no favorite of the gods but merely thought he was. Many times
our own gods, the gods of the Long Sun Whorl, punished those
they hated with riches, power, and fame that destroyed them.
Offered such a gift, may not this man of the Vanished People
have chosen a life without end? The immortal gods have it, or are
said to. Given the gift that he had chosen, he may have lived for
centuries enjoying food and women and fine days and, in short,
everything that pleased him. Perhaps he tired of all of it at last. Or
perhaps he merely discovered at length that though he himself
could not die, the race that had given him birth was dwindling every
year. Or perhaps he simply chose, in the end, to abide with the
goddess who had favored him. In any event, he must have cast
himself into the sea.
All of which is mere speculation. No doubt I have rendered
myself ridiculous even to those who believe me. Remember, please,
that those who believe me are not themselves ridiculousI saw
what I saw.
The storm had come out of the northeast, as well as I could judge.
It left us out of sight of land, and some considerable distance south
of the place at which it had found us, as well as I could judge from
the stars on the following night. We had no way of knowing how
far west it had driven us, but sailed west-northwest hoping each day
to sight land.
Water was a constant concern, although Seawrack required very
little. We caught such rain as the good gods provided, taking down
the mainsail and rigging it in such a way as to catch a good deal
and funnel it (once the sail had been wet enough to clean it of salt)
into our bottles. In fair weather, when there was little wind or none,
all three of us swam together beside the sloop. I found, not at all
to my surprise, that Babbie was a better swimmer than I; but found
too, very much to my surprise, that Seawrack was a far better
swimmer than Babbie. She could remain under the water so long that it
terrified me, although when she realized that I was both concerned
and astonished, she pretended she could not. One night when I
kissed her, my lips discovered her gill slits, three, closely spaced and
nearer the nape of her neck than I would have imagined. I asked
her no questions about them, then or later.
At first she said nothing about the goddess she called the
Mother. After nearly a week had passed, I happened to mention
Chenille, saying that although she had known nothing of boats, she
had understood Daces perfectly when Scylla possessed her. Seawrack
seized upon the concept of divine possession at once and
asked many questions about it, only a few of which I could answer.
At length I said that she, whose mother was a goddess, should be
instructing me.
She never said she was, Seawrack told me with perfect
seriousness.
Still, you must have known it.
Seawrack shook her lovely head. She was my mother.
At that point I very nearly asked her whether her mother had
not demanded prayers and sacrifices. We used to give our gods gifts,
when I lived inside the Whorl, I said instead, but that
was not because they required such things of us. They were far richer
than we were, but they had given us so much that we felt we ought
to give them whatever we could in return.
Oh, yes. Seawrack smiled. I used to bring Mother all sorts
of things. Shells, you know. Lots of shells and pretty stones, and
sometimes colored sand. Then she would say that my face was the
best gift.
She loved you. At that moment, as at so many others, I felt
I knew a great deal about love; my heart was melting within me.
Seawrack agreed. She used to look like a woman for me and
hold me in her arms, and I used to think the woman was the real
her and make her bring the woman back. She looked like a woman
for you too. Remember?
Yes, I said. Ill never forget that.
When I was older, she would just wrap herself around me,
and that was nice, like when you hold me. But not the same. What
do they ask gods for, in the Whorl?
Oh, food and peace. Sometimes for a son or daughter.
For gold? She said you liked it.
We do, I admitted. Every human being wants goldevery
human being except you. Because they do, gold is a good friend to
those who have it. Often it brings them good things without going
away itself.
Has my gold brought you anything?
I smiled. Not yet.
Its old. You say that old things are always tired.
Old people. I had been trying to explain that she was much
younger than I, and what that would mean to both of us when we
found land, and people besides ourselves. Not old gold. Gold
never gets old in that way.
Mine did. It wasnt bright anymore, and the little worms were
building houses on it. Mother had to clean it, pulling it through
the sand. I helped.
She must have had them a long time. Possibly for as long as
you lived with her. Privately I thought that it must have been a
good deal longer than that.
Can I see it again?
I got the box out for her, and told her she could wear her gold
if she wished, that it was hers, not mine.
She selected a simple bracelet, narrow and not at all heavy, and
held it up so that it coruscated in the sunshine. This is pretty. Do
you know who made it?
Ive been wondering about that, I said, and wondered as I
spoke whether she would tell me. It could have been brought from
the Long Sun Whorl on a lander; but I would guess that it is the
work of the Vanished People, the people who used to live here on
Blue long before we humans came.
Youre afraid of them.
It had been said with such certainty that I knew it would be
futile to argue. Yes. I suppose I am.
All of you, I mean. All of us. She turned the bracelet to and
fro, admiring it, then held it in her teeth to slip over her wrist.
The Long Sun Whorl was our whorl, our place, I told her.
It was made especially for us, and we were put into it by Pas. This
was their whorl. Perhaps it was made for them, but we dont even
know that. Theyre bound to resent us, if any of them are still alive;
and so are their gods. Their gods must still exist, since gods do not
die.
I didnt know that.
Where I used to live, the greatest of all goddesses tried to kill
Pas. Wise people who knew about it thought that she had, although
most of us didnt even know shed tried. Then Pas came back. He
had planted himself, in a way, and grew again. Do you know about
seeds, Seawrack?
Planting corn. You told me.
He re-grew himself from seed, so to speak. Thats what a pure
strain of corn does. It produces seed before it dies, and when that
seed sprouts, the strain is back for another year, just as it was before.
Do you think the Vanished People might have done that?
From her tone, it was a new idea to her.
I dont know. I shrugged. I have no way of knowing what
they may or may not have done.
You told me the seed waited for water.
Yes, for rain, and warmer weather.
Babbie ambled over to see what Seawrack and I had in the box,
snuffled its rings and chains and snorted in disgust, and returned
to his place beside the butt of the bowsprit. I, too, looked away, if
only mentally. My eyes saw bracelets and anklets of silver and gold,
but I was thinking about Seawracks implied question. Assuming
that the Vanished People were capable of coming back in some
fashion, as Pas had, what might constitute warmth and rain for
them?
Would we know, if they returned? Would I? At that time I did
not even know what they had looked like, and so far as I knew, no
one did. Doubtless they had been capable of making pictures of
themselves, since they had certainly been capable of constructing
the great building whose ruins we had discovered when we arrived;
but any such picturesif they had ever existedhad been erased
by time, on Lizard and in the region around Viron at least. Seawrack,
who appeared so fully human, had gills beneath the golden
hair that hung below her waist. Were those gills the gift of the
goddess, or the badge of the original owners of this whorl we call
ours? At that time, I had no way of knowing.
I think I see another boat. She rose effortlessly, pointing at
a distant sail.
Then wed better get these out of sight. I began to shut the
lid.
Wait. As swiftly as a bird, her hand dipped into the box.
Look at this, Horn. Between thumb and forefinger she held a
slender silver ring, newly made in New Viron. I like it. Its small
and light. All that gold made it hard to swim, but this wont. Will
you give it to me?
Certainly, I said. Its a great pleasure. I took it from her
and slipped it on her finger.
* *
Are you going to fight with that? I had told her about the
pirates.
If I must. I hope I wont. Sailors are usually friendly. We trade
information, and sometimes supplies. I may be able to get us more water.
I hesitated. If theyre not friendly, I want you to dive into
the sea at once. Dont worry about me, just swim away toto
someplace deep where they wont be able to find you.
She promised solemnly that she would, and I knew that she
would not.
It was a much larger boat than mine, two-masted and blunt-bowed,
with a crew of five. The owner (a stocky, middle-aged man
who spoke in a way that recalled Wijzer) hailed us, asking where
we were bound.
Pajarocu! I told him.
Riding light you are, he said, clearly assuming that we were
traders too.
Soon his big boat lay beside our small one. Lines from bow
and stern united the two, we introduced ourselves, and he invited
us aboard. In these waters not so many boats I see. He chuckled.
But farther than this I would sail a woman so pretty to see. Whole
towns even, not one woman like your wife they got. One of his
crew set up a folding table for us, with four stools.
I asked how far we were from the western continent.
So many leagues you want? That I cannot tell. On which way
bound you are, too, it depends. North by northwest for Pajarocu
you must sail.
Have you been there?
He shook his head. Not, I think. To a place they said, yes, I
have been. But to Pajarocu? He shrugged.
I explained about the letter, and brought my copy from the
sloop to show him.
One it says. He tapped the paper. Your wife they let you
bring?
Drawing upon Marrows argument, I said, One, if all the
towns they have invited send somebody, and if all the people who
are sent arrive in time. We dont believe either one is likely, and
neither does anybody else in New Viron. If there are empty places,
and we think there will be, Seawrack can come with me. If there
arent, she can wait in Pajarocu and take care of our boat. I tried
to sound confident.
The sailor who had set up our table brought a bottle and four
small drinking glasses, and sat down with us.
My son, Strik announced proudly. Number two on my
boat he is.
Everyone smiled and shook hands.
Captain Horn? the owners son asked. From the town of
New Viron you hail?
I nodded.
So did Strik, who said, To that not yet we come, Captain
Horn. Looking for you somebody is?
My face must have revealed my surprise.
Just one fellow it is. Toters age he is. (Toter was his son.)
Us about Captain Horn he asked. Alone in a little boat he
sails. The corners of Toters mouth turned down, and his hands
indicated the way in which the little boat was tossed about by the
waves.
When asked he did, Captain Horn we dont know. Strik
pulled the cork with his teeth and poured out a little water-white
liquor for each of us. This to him we say, and in his little boat off
he goes.
Youre from the mainland yourselves? The eastern one, I
mean. From Main? I was trying desperately to recall the name of
the town from which Wijzer had hailed.
Ya, from Dorp we come. New Viron we know. A good port
it is. Word to you from somebody back there he brings, you think?
I did not know, and told him so. If I had been compelled to
guess, I would have said that Marrow had probably sent someone
with a message.
Seawrack asked how long we would have to sail to find drinking
water.
Depends, it does, Merfrow Seawrack. Such weather it is. Strik
spat over the side. Five days it could be. Ten, also, it could be.
It isnt bad for me. She gave me a defiant stare. He makes
me drink more than I want to, but the Babbie is always thirsty.
I explained that Babbie was our hus.
You suffer too. She sniffed and tasted Striks liquor and put
it down. You pour it into your glass, then back into the bottle
when you think Im not looking.
I declared that I saw no point in drinking precious water that
I did not want.
A little water I can let you have, Strik told us, and we both
thanked him.
Toter told us, If for two or three days you and your wife due
west will sail, a big island where nobody lives you will find. Good
water it has. There last we watered. Not so big as Main it is, but
mountains it has. A lookout you should keep, but hard to miss
it is.
Well go there, Seawrack declared to me, and her tone decided
the matter.
* *
No doubt such memories cannot really be expressed, and certainly
they cannot be expressed by me. I have found that out.
Let me say this. Once when I was swimming underwater in imitation
of her, I saw her swimming toward me, and she was swift and
graceful beyond all telling. There are no words for that, as there
are none for her beauty. She caught my hand, and we broke the
surface, up from the divine radiance of the sea into the blinding
glare of the Short Sun, and the droplets on her eyelashes were diamonds.
You that read of all this in a year that I will never see will think
me wretched, perhapscertainly I was wretched enough fighting
the inhumi and their slaves on Green, fighting the settlers, and
before the end even fighting my own son.
Or possibly you may envy me this big white house that we in
Gaon are pleased to call a palace, my gems and gold and racks of
arms, and my dozen-odd wives.
But know this: The best and happiest of my hours you know
nothing about. I have seen days like gold.
Calling.
Seawrack, whom I abandoned exactly as I abandoned poor Babbie.
Seawrack.
7
THE ISLAND
If you and I were to take this sloop out on Lake Limna on a
day as fine as this, I said, we would rarely be out of sight of a
dozen sails. Lake Limna is a very big lake, but its only a lake just
the same. Its the biggest thing near Viron, but its not the biggest
thing near Palustria, because its not near Palustria at all. The sea
is probably the biggest thing on this entire whorl. Besides, Lake
Limna is close to Viron, which is a very large city. Half the towns
that we talk about here would be called villages if they were near
Viron. I would be astonished if we were to see anyone else before
we sight land.
I was reminded of that little speech this afternoon, when someone
told me I was minor godby which he meant that I had insight
into everything. It would be easy to let myself be misled by
remarks of that kind, which both the speaker and his hearers must
know perfectly well are untrue. They are made out of politeness,
and no one would be more shocked than the people who make
them to learn that they had been accepted like propositions in logic.
Up there I nearly wrote: when I was in the schola. So accustomed
have I become to talking in that fashion, as I must. If I
were to speak of Nettle, and the building of our house and mill, or
tell these good, happy, worshipful people how after failing as farmers
we succeeded as papermakers, they would riot.
They would riot; and if I were not killed a second time, a good
many others would die. I have so much on my conscience already;
I do not believe I could bear that, too.
Nor would the people allow me to leave even if they knew who
I really am. The poor people, I mean. Aside from Hari Mau and a
few others, it is not the chief men who frequent my court who
really need and value me, but the peasant farmers and their families,
their women and their children especially. That, at least, seems the
common perception.
It may not be true. The men are less noisy in their praise, less
emotional, as one would expect. Still they are attached to me, as I
have ample reason to believe. Women and children see me as a
presiding councilor, as a chief man richer and more powerful than
the chief men who oppress them, someone who will help them in
time of trouble. Men see a just judge. Or if not a just judge, a judge
who strives to be just. Silk (I mean the real Silk) valued love very
highly. He was right, certainly. Love is a wonder, a magic potion,
an act of theurgy or even a continuing theophany. No word is too
strong, and in fact no word is really strong enough.
But love is the last need a group has, not the first. If it were
the first, there could be no such groups. Justice is the first need,
the mortar that binds together a village or a town, or even a city.
Or the crew of a boat. No one would take part in any such thing
if he did not believe that he would be treated fairly.
These people cheat one another at every opportunityso it
seems at times, at least. Under the Long Sun, they were ruled by
force and the fear of force. Here on Blue there is no force and no
fear sufficient to rule. There is nothing, really, except our book and
me. In the Long Sun Whorl they believed that their rajan would
take their lives for the least disobedience, and they were right. Here
in their new town they must believe that every word and every
action proceeds from my concern for them and for justice. And they
must be right about that, too.
What will become of them when I leave? For a long time I was
unable to think about it. Now that I have, the answer is obvious.
Just as in New Viron, they will steal, cheat and tyrannize until one
chief man rises above all the rest. Then he will not bully and cheat,
but take whatever he wants and kill all who oppose him. He will
be their new rajan, and their original city will have been transferred
from the Whorl to this beautiful new whorl we call Blue, complete
in every significant detail.
Meanwhile, here I am. They cannot help seeing that I am doing
nothing that one of them could not do. Self-interest is necessary to
every undertaking and to everyoneor that is how it seems to me,
although I am quite sure Maytera Marble would argue passionately.
They must be brought to understand that any action of theirs that
makes their town worse is bound to be against their own interests.
* *
The lesser gods (as Maytera Mint taught us before Maytera
Rose displaced her, and long before she became General Mint) were
Pass friends. He invited them to board the Whorl with his family
and himself. The devils came aboard by stealth and trickery, like
Krait, who came aboard our sloop that night, proving yet again to
me (if not to Seawrack) that quite often I do not know what I am
talking about.
The near calm that had succeeded the storm had endured
throughout the remainder of the day. What woke me, I think, was
the rattle of Babbies feet on the planks, followed by a sudden still-
ness. I sat up.
The sea was so calm that the sloop seemed as steady as a bed
on shore. Seawrack was sleeping on her side, as she frequently did,
her mouth slightly open. The mainsail, which I had double-reefed
and left set, found no breath of air to flutter in; nor did the mainsail
halyards tap the mast, or move at all. Beyond the shadow of the
little foredeck, the sloop was bathed in the baleful light of Green,
which made it seem almost an illusion, a ghost vessel that would,
when day at last returned, sink into the air.
Aft, I saw a dark mass that seemed too large as well as too
splayed for Babbie, rather as if someone had thrown a cloak or a
blanket over him. I crawled out from under the foredeck, got to
my feet, and drew Sinews hunting knife; and a cold, calm voice
the voice of a boy or young mansaid, You wont need that.
I went aft as far as the mast. To tell the truth, I was afraid that
there might be more than one, and was as frightened as I have ever
been in my life.
Didnt you hear me? I havent come for your blood. The
inhumu must have looked up as he spoke; I saw his eyes gleam in
the ghastly green light.
Seawrack called, What is it? Oh!
If you do not stay where you are, the inhumu said, I will
kill your pet. I will have to, since I dont intend to fight all three
of you together.
Thats nothing to me, I told him, lying consciously and de-
liberately. If you havent come for our blood, go away. I wont
try to stop you, and neither will she. I had stowed my slug gun
in one of the chests; it would not have been less available to me if
it had been back on the Lizard.
Where bound?
I shook my head. I wont tell you.
I could find out.
Then you dont have to learn it from me.
Tell me at once, the inhumu demanded, or Ill kill your
hus.
Go right ahead. I took a step toward him. You said you
didnt want to fight all three of us. The prospect of fighting you
alone doesnt bother me. If I have to fight you, I will. And Ill kill
you.
His wings spread in less than a second and he rose like a kite,
leaving poor Babbie huddled and trembling in front of the steers-
mans seat.
I had to take a little blood to quiet him. The inhumu had
settled on our masthead, from which he grinned down at me like
a very devil.
When I did not reply, he added, You have a most attractive
young woman.
Looking up at him, it struck me that he was a devil in sober fact,
that all the legends of devils found their origins in him and in the vile
race he represented. Yes, I said, glancing at Seawrack, who had left
the shelter of the foredeck. Youre right. She certainly is.
A valuable possession.
Not mine, I told him. Not now and not ever.
Seawrack herself said, But he belongs to me. She joined me
at the foot of the mast, and linked her arm in mine. The Mother
gave him to me. What of it?
Nothing at all, if were friends. I dont prey upon my friends,
or pry into their affairs. Its not our way. Dare I ask where you two
are going?
I said, No.
Seawracks arm tightened. You told that other boat.
But Im not going to tell him. Im not even going to ask why
he wants to know.
As I returned Sinews knife to its sheath, I pointed to the chest.
Theres a slug gun in there. Im going to get it out. If youre still
up there when I do, Im going to kill you. You can fight or run.
Its up to you.
I opened the chest without taking my eyes off him, and he flew
as I reached into it. For a few seconds a great, silent bat fluttered
against the stars before disappearing into the blackness between
them.
That was a... Seawrack hesitated. I dont remember the
names, but you told me about them and I wasnt sure they were
real.
An inhumu. He was male, I believe, so inhumu. Females are
inhuma. Their race is the inhumi. Those words come from another
town, because we didnt know they existed in Viron and had no
name for them but devil. Anyway the inhumi is what everybody
here calls them.
She had dropped to her knees next to Babbie. Hes sick,
isnt he?
Hes lost blood. He needs rest and a great deal of water.
Thats a shame because we havent got much, but if he doesnt get
it hes likely to die. He may die anyway.
They drink blood. You said that. We havewe had worms
that did, too. But you could pull them off, and some fish liked
them.
We call those leeches. I was collecting Babbies pan and a
bottle of water.
He wasnt like that.
No, I agreed, theyre not. Do you know of anything they
are like?
She shook her head.
I knelt beside her and poured water into the pan, then held it
so Babbie could drink from it, which he did slowly but thirstily,
drinking and drinking, and snuffling into the water as if he would
never stop.
Hes very strong, Seawrack said. He was. Iveyou know.
Played with him. He was strong, and he has those big teeth. The
inhumi must be strong too.
I suppose they are. Certainly theyd have to be strong, very
strong indeed, to fly. But they are light, too, and soft, which lets
them reshape themselves the way they do. People say that a strong
man can throw one to the ground and kill it in most cases. Id
guess that this one clung to Babbies back where he couldnt reach
it until it had weakened himbut Ive never fought one myself.
Will it come back?
I shrugged, and went forward to fetch an old sail with which I
hoped to keep Babbie warm. While I was tucking it around him,
Seawrack said, Couldnt another one come, too?
Its possible, I told her. Ive heard that they almost always
return to houses where they have fed. Im not sure its true,
however. Even if it is, an animal on a boat may not count. They generally
leave animals alone.
Your slug gun. Arent you going to get it?
I did, and loaded it. At home, I had grown accustomed to
locking my needier away when the twins were small; plainly, I was
not at home anymore. We built our house on Lizard Island very
solidly for fear of the inhumi, I told Seawrack. Double-log walls
and heavy, solid doors. Very small shuttered windows with iron bars
across them. Its not possible for you and me to protect this sloop
like that, but the better prepared we are for them, the less likely it
will be that well have to put our preparations to use.
She nodded solemnly. Show me how to use your gun.
You cant. It takes two hands to control the recoil and cycle
the action. A needier is what you need, but I gave mine to Sinew,
so we havent got one. I can give you his knife if you want it.
Your sons? She backed away. I wont take it. You love it
too much.
Then get some sleep, I told her. Ill stand guard, and in a
couple of hours you can relieve me.
She edged past me to stroke Babbies massive head. Hes still
cold. Hes shaking.
There are a few other things, I said; I meant the blanket and
another old sail with which we sometimes covered ourselves. I can
get them, but I dont know how much good theyll do.
We could put him between us.
If Babbie had been even a trifle heavier, I doubt that the two
of us could have moved him at all. As it was, we rolled him onto
the cloth with which I had covered him and half lifted and half
dragged him, after bailing the bilge until scarcely a drop remained.
When he lay feet-first under the foredeck, with Seawrack on his
left and me on his right (and my slug gun between me and the
sloops side) and all of us almost too cramped to move, she said,
Ive been trying to remember about the inhumi. You said they
lived in the sky? In that green light? It doesnt seem like anyone
could live in those things.
Most people would tell you that everybody knows that people
live in or on the lights in the sky, but that no human being could
live in the sea. The inhumi are native to Green. Thats what
everyone says. Green is the big green light I showed you when we talked
about them before. Its much larger and brighter than any of the
stars.
I know which one. Weve got fish that shine like that down
where its always dark.
They may look like Green, I said, but they dont shine like
Green. Not really. Green shines because the light from the Short
Sun strikes it.
Its a place, like this boat?
Its a whole whorl. When I was a boy, people talked about
the whorl, as though it were the only whorl there wasas if
nothing could come in or go out. It wasnt true, even if it had been
once. There are three whorls here, really, and I suppose you could
say that as whorls go theyre pretty close together. Theres at least
one other, too, now that I come to think of itthe old Short Sun
Whorl, where my friend Maytera Marble was born.
You have to tell me about the inhumi, Seawrack said urgently.
Babbies head and shoulders blocked my view of her face.
Im trying to. I dont think there were any where Maytera
Marble came from, because she didnt know about them. So the
three whorls that we have to talk about when we consider the inhumi
are the Whorl, which Ill call the Long Sun Whorl to keep
things straight, Blue, which is where we are, and Green, the whorl
that brewed the big storm.
Go on.
Ill try to point out the Long Sun Whorl to you as well sometime,
because youll never find it for yourself. All that you can see
is a faint point of white light among the stars. Im guessing now,
but my guess is that its a good deal farther from both Blue and
Green than Green is from uscertainly its much farther away than
Green is from us right now.
Its where you were born?
Yes. It rose like a ghost in my mind, and I added, In Old
Viron, the city Ive sworn to go back to if I can, but I cannot be
certain that I spoke aloud.
Were there inhumus up there?
We didnt think so, but there was at least one. We thought
that he was one of us.
I dont understand.
I wouldnt expect you to, because the inhumu you just saw
didnt look like a human being. But he did, and I would guess that
the one we saw could have looked like that too, if he chose. I
surprised him when I woke up, and he didnt have time to disguise
himself. If hed had time and had wanted to deceive us, hed have
had a pretty good chance of succeeding. They frequently do.
Seawrack lay silent for a time. At length she said, Babbies
more like people.
I suppose I was resenting Babbies bristling back; in any event
I said, Im the only person that youve ever seen. Me, and the
sailors on Captain Striks boat.
She said nothing.
So you cant know how different people can be. Im about
the same age as
Me. Since Ive been up here Ive seen me. My face, my legs
and my arm, all in the water.
Your reflection, you mean.
And Im like you and the ones on the boat. The inhumi wasnt.
Babbies really more like us. I told you that, and he is.
The inhumis bodies arent like ours. I tried to think
of an enlightening comparison. We think of a crab as rigidits
like a trooper in armor. A trooper in armor can move his arms and legs, and
turn his head. But he cant change the shape of his body.
I cant change the shape of mine either. Seawrack sounded
puzzled.
Yes, you can, a little. You can stand up straight or slump, draw
in your stomach, throw out your chest, and so on. The inhumi can
do much more. They can shape their faces, for instance, much more
than we can by smiling or sucking in our cheeks. But I believe that
a better comparison might be with the Mother, who
I dont want to talk about Mother, Seawrack told me, and
after enlarging upon that with some emphasis she slept, or at least
pretended to sleep.
Whether she actually slept or not, I lay awake. I had been very
tired when we had gone to bed that evening, and had dropped off
to sleep almost at once. Now I had enjoyed three or four hours
sleep, and had been thoroughly awakened. I was still tired, but I
was no longer sleepy. Perhaps I was afraid that the inhumu would
return, although I did not admit that to myself. Whatever the reason,
I relaxed, pillowed my head on my hands by dint of driving
an elbow beneath Babbies thick neck, and thought about all the
things I would have told Seawrack if she had been willing to talk
longer.
The inhumi can fly, as everybody knows. They can even fly
through the airless vastness of the abyss, passing from Green to
Blue, and back to Green, when they are at or near conjunction. I
had never understood how that was possible, but as I lay under the
foredeck that night with my head where my feet ought to have
been, I recalled the batfish. Its wide fins had been a lot like wings,
and I have no doubt that it swam with them in the same way that a bird
flies. As a matter of fact, there are fishing birds that fly
through the water, swimming with the same wings they fly with,
and moving them in pretty much the same way.
From that it would seem possible for an ordinary fish to swim
through the air like the glowing fish that accompanied us almost to
Wichote, although it is not. If such a fish could, I decided, we could
fly ourselves. We can swim, after all. Not as well as fish, certainly
(here I found myself echoing Patera Quetzal, who had in sober fact
been an inhumu); and I could not swim half as well as Seawrack,
who shot through the water like an arrow. But although ordinary
fish cannot swim in air, they can jump into the air, and sometimes
jump quite far. I had seen fish jump many times, and had watched
a fish jump from the water onto a flat stone when I was on the rock
upon which Maytera Marble had built a hut for Mucor.
This, coupled with little need for breath, might explain how
the inhumi could go from one whorl to another, or so it seemed
to me. By an extreme effort, they could jump out of the great
sea of air surrounding the whorl they wished to leave, taking aim
at the whorl to which they wished to go. Their aim would not have
to be precise, since they would begin to fall toward the whorl they
were trying to reach as soon as they neared it. Landers, as I knew
even then, must be built so that they will not overheat when they
arrive at a new whorl. But landers are much larger than the largest
boats, and being constructed almost entirely of metals, they must
be much heavier. The inhumi are no bigger than small men, although
they appear so large when their wings are spread; and even
though they are strong, they are by no means heavy. Light objects
fall much more slowly than heavy ones, something that anyone may
see by dropping a feather as I have just dropped Orebs here at my
desk. The heat that troubles the landers must present no great problem
to the inhumi.
The need to survive for some time without air, as a man does
while swimming underwater, and the need to approach the target
whorl closely enough to be drawn to it explained the observation
that everyone who has looked into the matter has made, namely
that the inhumi cross only when the whorls are at or near conjunction.
All thisas I would have told Seawrack that nightwas not at
all complex, and demanded only that we not think of the inhumi
as men who could stretch their arms into wings. As soon as we
accepted the fact that they differ from us at least as much as snakes
do, it fell into place quite readily. The difficulty was explaining the
presence of the inhumu I had known as Patera Quetzal in the Whorl.
The Whorl is (or at least seems) far more remote from Blue
and Green than they are from each other. As with so many other
riddles, it is easy to speculate but impossible to know which speculation
is correctif any are.
My first, which I then believed the most probable, was that the
Whorl conjoins with either Blue or Green, or both, but only at very
infrequent intervals. We know that conjunctions with Green occur
every sixth year. That interval is determined by the motion of both
about the Short Sun. A third body, the Whorl, having a different
motion, presumably conjoins with one or both at a different interval.
Since we have observed no such conjunction during the twenty
years or so that we have been here on Blue, the interval is presumably
long. For convenience, I assumed an interval ten times as great,
which is to say one of sixty years. We had been on Blue for about
a third of that, and I was quite confident that Patera Quetzal had
been Prolocutor of Viron for thirty-three years prior to his death,
giving a total of fifty-three years and (under our assumption of sixty
years between conjunctions) allowing him seven in which to reach
the Whorl, become an augur, and rise to the highest office in the
Chapter.
That seemed rather short to meI would have imagined that
such a rise would require fifteen years if not more. If the speculation
I am recalling tonight had been correct, in other words if Patera
Quetzal had in fact crossed the abyss to the Whorl in the same way
that other inhumi go from Green to Blue, it followed that it had
been at least sixty-eight years since the last conjunction. It appeared
then, as it still does, that no conjunction is imminent; from which
I concluded that the period between conjunctions had to be considerably
longer, say one hundred years.
Even then, I realized that other explanations were possible and
might be correct. The landers were intended to return to the Whorl
for more colonists. Patera Quetzal could have boarded a much earlier
lander that did so, a lander whose departure was unknown to
the Crew, and perhaps even to Pas, as well as to us in Old Viron.
A third possibility (I thought) was that a group of inhumi had
built a lander of their own, in which they had traveled to the Whorl,
and that after arriving they had separated to hunt.
The fact of the matter, as I would have had to explain to Seawrack,
was that we knew frighteningly little about them. They did
not appear to make weapons for themselves, or to build houses or
boats, or any such thingbut appearances may be deceiving. General
Sabas pterotroopers had refused to fly wearing their packs, and
in fact carried nothing beyond their slug guns and twenty rounds
of ammunition. In the same way, the Fliers carried only their PMs
(which actually helped them fly, rather than burdening them) and
their instruments. It might be, as I thought that night, that the
inhumi were even less willing to weight themselves with equipment.
They flew much faster and much farther than Ranis pterotroopers
had, after all.
Farther even than the fliers had.
* *
Even then I knew a bit more, having talked with Quetzal, and
with Silk and the present Prolocutor, who had known Quetzal
much better than I ever did. I knew that the inhumi were able to
counterfeit the whole array of human emotions, and possibly even
felt them just as we did; and that their deceptions were based on a
comprehensive understanding of the myriad ways in which men and
women think and act. I suspected that they were capable of deceiving
the very gods, since Echidna knew the Prolocutor was present
at her theophany, but did not appear to realize that he was an
inhumi. (Of course, she may simply not have cared, or not seen any
significant difference between them and ourselves.)
On the other hand, I felt quite certain that when Mucor had described Patera
Remora as speaking to the one who isnt there
when he was coadjutor, she did not mean that he prayed but rather
that to her roving spirit Patera Quetzal did not exist.
Seawrack and I were soon to become much more familiar with
the inhumi; but I am writing here of what I knew and guessed at
the time, errors and all.
* *
In Rajya Mantri, Hari Mau, and the rest, I think it must come
from a tradition of warfare. Immediate action is the soul of war, as
I learned many years ago by observing General Mint. It is not the
soul of peace.
Last night Alubukhara (who is as round and sweet as the fruit
of that name, and almost as dark) said, If you wish to do a thing
again, you must do it slowly. I do not believe that is a proverb
here; if it were, I would have heard it before this. No doubt it was
a saying of her mothers. But it ought to be a proverb for courts
and for governments of every stripe, for sailors such as I once was,
and for writers. Hard decisions, I have found, become easy ones
when the judge understands the entire case. When a new burden
must be laid upon the people, we should remove two, and look
very carefully, first, at those we have chosen to remove. Those who
sail fast do not sail for long, while what is written with great rapidity
is rarely reador worth reading.
I would like this read, and not by one woman or man alone
(although I am very glad that you are reading it) but by so many
that it reaches the eyes of the men and the woman for whom it is
especially meant. My sons, I loved you so much! Am I really speaking
to you now? Nettle, my hearts delight, do you recall our first
night together in the Caldés Palace? There has never been another
night like that, and there can never be. I hope, and in my whole
life I have never been more serious and sincere, that you have been
unfaithful to me. That you have found a good and honest man to
cast his lot with yours and help you bring up our sons. Nettle, can
you hear my voice in this?
But I should have said first that Seawrack was quite right in
thinking that I wanted to question her about the sea goddess she
called the Mother. Having found Seawrack exceedingly reluctant to
say much of anything about her, I had been trying to get at the
truth indirectly. At some fraction of the truth, I ought to have
written, and would have if I had not been hurrying ahead. (If
Sinews impatience was the result of youth, what is mine?)
A fraction of the truth, since even Seawrack, who had been
cared for by the goddess since before she could swim, cannot have
known everything.
Who, for that matter, could know the whole truth about Sea-
wrack? Not Seawrack herself, and that is completely certain even if
nothing else is. At the time about which I have been writing, the
time before Krait, I had not yet grasped the real riddle; but I will
give it here so that you who read may weigh things for yourself. I
am not, after all, writing merely to entertain you.
The real riddle concerning Seawrack is this: If the Mother took
care of Seawrack in order that Seawrack might lure others, as fowlers
use a captive bird, did the Mother send her back among her own
kindamong usso that she might lure more or lure them better?
To put it simply, did the Mother suffer a change of heart, or is she
pursuing some deep plan that will culminate in our destruction? It
is very important that we know this.
After a great deal of squinting at the western horizon, spitting,
and pulling my beard (all of which amused Seawrack in a way that
gladdened my heart, although I did not say so), I contrived an
extension to our mainsail from a stick that I lashed to the boom
and a long, triangular strip of canvas whose top I tied to the gaff.
It worked so well that I contrived another triangular sail, like a jib,
that we set on the forestay in imitation of Gyrfalcons boat,
reassuring myself by assuring Seawrack that we would take both in the
moment the breeze strengthened.
As a result of all this, we sighted the island before sundown.
Or at any rate we sighted an island we assumed was the one at
which Strik and his crew had watered. I have never been entirely
confident that it was in fact the same, although it may have been.
Certainly it fit their description, and we found it by following their
directions, that is, by sailing close-hauled almost due west. Later I
saw that there were many other islands of the same type all along
that coast, mountains covered with lush greenery rising out of the
sea. By favor of the southwest wind, we quickly discovered a small,
sheltered bay on the north side of the island, and a swift, rocky
stream at the end of it.
We anchored there and refilled our water bottles, and I sent
Babbie ashore and let him trot around and explore the steep green
wood. To tell the truth, I was feeling very guilty about having made
him stay on the sloop so often when we were going up the coast,
and was half minded to leave him there to recover his health as well
as his freedom; I felt sure it would be a happier as well as a healthier
place for him than my cramped little boat, and I recalled that Silk
had tried more than once to free Oreb. Throughout my life I have
done my best to imitate Silk (as I am doing here in Gaon), at times
with some success.
* *
Neither did I; and so I said that I planned to stay another day
to hunt, and that with luck we would have fresh meat for supper
the next night. To the best of my memory, we had no meat left on
board at that time except the shank of the very salty ham that
Marrow had given me; and I was thoroughly tired of that, and still more
tired of fish.
The following day began bright and clear, and presented me
with what I then considered a serious problem, I having not the
least presentiment of what the island held in store for me. Seawrack
was anxious to go with me, and Babbie was even more anxious, if
that were possibleit would have been sheer cruelty to leave him
behind. Nonetheless, I was very conscious that if anything happened
to the sloop all hope of bringing Silk to New Viron would
be gone.
I considered leaving Babbie on board, as I had there; but how
much protection could a young hus provide? A young hus, I should
have said, who had by no means recovered all his strength? Against
a sudden gale, very little. Against the crew of some other boat that
put in to water as we had, just enough to get him killed.
I also considered asking Seawrack to stay. But if bad weather
struck, the best thing she could possibly do would be to furl the
sails (and they were furled already) and remain at anchor in the
little cove we had found, which the sloop would do by herself. As
for protecting it from the crew of another boat, how much could
one young woman do, without a weapon or a right arm? Against
honest men, the sloop would require no protection. By the other
kind she would be raped, killed, or both.
For a second or two, I even considered remaining behind myself;
but Seawrack could not use the slug gun, and might easily find
herself in danger. In the end, we all went. No doubt it was inevitable.
It was a silent, peaceful, lonesome place whose thickly forested
slopes seemed to be inhabited only by a few birds. Mighty trees
clung to rocks upon which it seemed that no tree could live, or
plunged deep roots into the black soil of little hidden dales. On
Green one finds trees without number, monstrous cannibals ten
times the height of the tallest trees I saw on the island; but they
are forever at war with their own kind, and are troubled all the
while by the trailing, coiling, murderous lianas that have seemed to
me the living embodiment of evil ever since I first beheld them.
There was nothing of Green here save the huge trunks, and bluffs and
rocky outcrops resembling Greens distant, towering escarpments
in about the same way that a housecat resembles a baletiger.
In one, we discovered a deep cave with its feet in clear cold
water, a dry cave with a ceiling high enough for a man to have
ridden a tall horse into it without bowing his head or taking off his
hat; and we spoke, Seawrack and I, of returning there after we had
brought Silk to New Viron. We would build a wall of stout logs to
close the entrance, and live there in peace and privacy all our days,
plant a garden, trap birds and small animals, and fish. Was it really
criminal of us to talk in that fashion? I knew that it could never be,
that Nettle and my sons and the mill would be waiting when I came
back to the Lizard.
And that even if I did not return, it could never be.
Seawrack, I feel sure, did not. So it was wrong of me, was cruel
and cowardly, to share her snug dream and encourage her in it. I
must be honest here. It was, as Silk would say, seriously evil. It was
a crime, and I was (and am) a monster of cruelty. All that is true,
but give me thisI have done worse, and for half an hour we were
as happy as it is possible for two people to be. The Outsider may
condemn me for it, but I cannot regret that half hour.
There came a moment when I wanted to return to the sloop. We
had seen no game and no sign of any; we were all tired, and Babbie,
who had ranged ahead at first sniffing and snuffling here and there,
lagged behind. What was worse (although I did not say it) was that
I was not sure of the way back to the sloop; and I was afraid that
we would have to strike the shore of the island wherever we could
reach it, and try to follow it until we found the little bay to the
north in which we had anchored. We were tired already, as I have
said, and had not yet begun what might be a very long walk. It
seemed more than possible that we would not be able to locate the
sloop before shadelow.
Seawrack pointed to a ridge, not very distant but only just visible
through the trees. You wait here, she said, and let me go
up there and see whats on the other side. You and Babbie rest, and
Ill come right back.
I told her that I would go with her, naturally, and took pains
to lead the way.
Theres so much sunshine, she said as we climbed that final
slope. There cant be any trees there. Not big ones like these.
I told her it was probably a good-sized cliff, that we would see
trees below it, and that we might have a fine view of the island and
the sea around it. What we really saw when we topped the ridge
was less dramatic but a great deal stranger.
8
THE END
Seawrack cried, Oh! Look! Look! and pressed herself against
me. From her voice, she felt wonder and even awe; but she shook
with fear, and at that moment, I was ignorant of the cause of all
three.
The walls, Horn. Their walls. Dont you see them?
I blinked and looked, then blinked again before I was able to
make out one curving line of masonry practically submerged in the
rising tide of leaves.
I know places in the sea where there are walls like those,
Seawrack told me. Her voice was hushed. Underwater is
what you say.
I started down, followed reluctantly by Seawrack and even more
reluctantly by Babbie. Human beings, people like you and me,
people from the Whorl, cant have built this. Its too old.
No...
It was the Vanished People. It had to be. Theres a place near
New Viron, but I dont think its as old as this. And Sinew says he
found an altar in the forest. I told you about that. Answered only
by silence, I glanced over my shoulder at Seawrack and received a
fear-filled nod.
Sinews altar was probably in a chapel of some kind originally,
a shrine or something like that. This was a lot bigger, whatever it
was. I stopped walking, having nearly tripped over a line of crumbling
glass not much higher than my ankle.
You wanted to go back. The fear had reached her voice. So
do I. Lets go back right now.
In a minute. The glass was deep blue, but seemed more
transparent than the clearest glass from Three Rivers. I picked up a
piece, feeling absurdly that it would show me the place as it had
been hundreds, and perhaps thousands, of years ago. It did not,
but the valley I saw through that fragment of blue glass appeared
more brightly sunlit than the one my naked eyes beheld.
Theres nothing left here, Seawrack murmured. These
are old, ruined, broken things nobody wants anymore, not even the
trees.
Something kept trees from growing here for a long while, I
told her. Some chemical they put in the ground, or maybe just a
very solid, thick pavement underneath this soil. It cant have been
many years since it gave out. Look at these young trees. I cant see
even one that seems to be ten years old.
Silently, she shook her head.
Ive been trying to guess how this blue glass works. Its as if
it sees more light from the Short Sun than we do and shows it to
us. Here, look.
I dont want to. Seawrack shook her lovely head again, stubbornly
this time. I dont want to look at their trees, and I dont
want to look through their glass. Babbie and I and going back to
your boat.
If we could In my surprise, I dropped the glass, which
shattered at my feet.
What is it?
I had been looking down into the valley as I spoke, and thanks
to the blue glass I had seen motion. I pointed with my slug gun.
That bush shook. Not the big one, but the little one next to it.
Theres some kind of animal down there, a pretty big one.
Dont!
I had taken a step forward, but Seawrack caught my arm. Let
me tell you what I think. Please?
I nodded.
I dont think it was aa medicine they poured on the ground,
or stone underneath, or anything like that. I think they lasted longer
here.
It was a new thought to me, and I suppose my face must have
shown my surprise.
Out on this little island, so far from all the other land people.
For a long time they mended the walls and painted them, and dug
up the trees and wild bushes. Ten years, is that what you said?
Yes. Another bush a little farther from us than the first had
trembled ever so slightly, a ghost of motion that would have been
easy to miss.
Ten years ago, they gave up. There werent enough left to do
it anymore, or it was too much work that didnt make sense. I know
you think Im stupid
I dont, I told her. Youre naive, but thats something else
entirely.
You think Im stupid, but I can think of people, people like
us? Two-legged people like you and me and all the people on that
boat living here, and there wasnt anybody else anywhere. Wed
mend our boats and the walls wed built for a while, and then
somebody would die, and thered be more work for everybody who
was left. And somebody else would die. And pretty soon wed stop,
but we wouldnt be dead, not all of us. The last of us wouldnt die
for a long while.
All right, I told her. If its one of the Vanished People, I
wont shoot him. Or her, either. But Id certainly like to see them.
I did not believe that it was, and in that I was quite correct.
For a few minutes that seemed like an hour I scoured the
bushes with Babbie trotting at my heels; then a greenbuck broke
cover and darted away, leaping and zigzagging as they do. Babbie
was after it at once, squealing with excitement.
I threw my slug gun to my shoulder and was able to get off
one quick shot. The greenbuck broke stride and stumbled to its
knees, but in less than a breath it had bounded up again, cutting
right and running hard. It vanished into brush, and I sprinted after
it, all my fatigue forgotten, guided by Babbies agitated
hunck-hunck-bunck!
Very suddenly I was falling into darkness.
But it cannot be. It cannot be a mere incident like Wijzers
drawing his map and the rest. Either that fall must be the end of
the entire work (which might be wisest) or else it cannot close at
all.
So let me say this to whoever may read. With that fall, the best
part of my life was over. The pit was its grave.
9
KRAIT
It was at about that time that I felt the cold. I knew I was cold
and wished that I were not. I may have moved, rubbing myself with
my hands or hugging myself and shivering; I cannot be sure. Glittering
eyes and sharp faces came and went, but I appealed for no
help and received none.
Sunlight warmed me. I kept my eyes closed, knowing that it
would be painful to look at the sun. It vanished, and I opened them
to see what had become of it, and saw Babbies familiar, hairy mask
peering at me over the edge of the pit. I closed them again, and
the next time I opened them he had gone.
I think it was not long afterward that I came to myself. I sat
up, cold, full of pain, and terribly thirsty. It was as if my spirit had
gone and left my body unoccupied as it did on Green; but in this
case it had returned, and my memories (such as they were) were
those of the body and not those of the spirit. It was day again,
perhaps midafternoon. I was sitting among earth and fallen leaves
in a pit about twelve cubits deep.
(My own height, I should say, was three cubits and two hands
at that timea good deal less than it is now. Looking up at the
walls of the pit while there was still light enough for me to do it, I
estimated their height as three to four times my own.)
They had originally been of smooth stone of a kind that was
not shiprock, or granite, or any other with which I was familiar. In
places it had fallen away, and bare earth thick with gravel could be
seen through the openings. These gave me hope of climbing out,
but when I tried to stand up I found myself so weak and dizzy that
I nearly fell, and quickly sat down again.
It is conceivable that the pit had been intended as a trap from
its beginning, but I do not believe that it was. It seems to me
instead that it was all that remained of some work of the Vanished
People, possibly the cellar of a tower or some such thing. The tower
(if there had ever been one) had collapsed centuries earlier, scatter-
ing its wreckage across the valley and leaving this pit to collect the
leaves of autumn and unfortunates like me. Eventually treacherous
vines had veiled its opening, weaving a sort of mat which I had torn
to shreds when I fell. A few long strands hung over the edge still,
and it seemed to me that I might be able to climb out with their
help, if only I could reach them; but I was, as I have said, too weak
even to stand.
Strangely, I did not sleep that night, although I had slept so
longthree days at leastafter my fall. I did not, but sat up
shivering and tried to rake together a bed of leaves for myself that
would keep me warm, or at least less cold, finding among them my
slug gun and the clean bones and skulls of several small animals,
instruments of divination in which I read my own fate. I prayed;
and at intervals of an hour or so, I fired my slug gun into the air,
hoping that Seawrack would hear the shots, wherever she was, and
realize that I was still alive. When only two cartridges remained, I
resolved to reserve them until there was some hope that someone
was nearby.
(Until I heard her voice, I suppose; but in sober fact I hear her
now although she is so far away.)
Then I wouldthis is what I promised myselffire one shot
more; and if that also failed, a last cartridge would remain.
Morning came, and with it warmth and a new face that looked
at me over the edge of the pit. At the time I thought it the face of
a boy or a small man. There you are, the owner said. He stood,
and I must have seen that he was naked. Possibly I realized that he
was not human as well, but if I did it made little impression on my
mind.
A moment more, and to my numb astonishment he leaped from
the edge, down into the pit with me, saying, I want to get you
out.
No doubt it was said ironically, but I heard nothing of that.
My rescuer had arrived.
Shall I do it?
Logically I should have said that he was trapped now just as I
was; naturally I said nothing of the kind. Please, I said, and I
believe I must have nodded. Please help me if you can.
I can if youll let me. Will you?
No doubt I nodded again.
He strode over to my slug gun, a diminutive, sexless figure.
Picked it up, cycled the action, and threw it to his shoulder, aiming at the
sun, or perhaps only at the edge of the pit. I cant use one
of these, Horn, he said, but you can.
Be careful. My voice had become a weak croak, and seemed
the voice of a stranger. The safetys off, and you chambered a fresh
round.
I know. He grinned at me, and I saw the folding fangs that
reached nearly to his chin. You could kill me with this. All youve
got to do is point it and pull the trigger. Isnt that right?
I wont.
Your last chance would be gone. He grinned again, testing
one slender fang against the ball of his thumb, as though making
certain that it was sharp enough.
I know, I said.
He laughed, a boys cheerful, delighted chortle. Do you know
who I am, too?
I know what you are. Is that what you mean?
But not who?
By that time I was sure he had come to kill me. I stared down
at the leaves.
I am your best friend, the only friend you have in all the
whorl, Horn. Have you any others? He sat down facing me, with
my slug gun across his lap.
There was nothing to say, so I said nothing.
You hate me and you hate our people. You made that clear
when I visited your boat. Why do you hate us so?
I thought of Sinew, livid and scarcely breathing in the little bed
we had made for him; but I said, I wouldnt hate you at all if you
got me out of this. I would be very grateful to you.
Why did you hate me so when you woke up and found me
on your boat?
It was a long time before I spoke, a minute at least; but he
seemed prepared to wait all day, and at length I muttered, You
know.
I dont. He shook his head. I know why you Blue people
dislike us, and its regrettable though understandable. I dont know
why you, the particular individual called Horn, hate me as you do.
I was silent.
Me. Not my race in general but me; you do, and I can feel it.
Why does Horn hate me? I wont name myself yet. I havent quite
decided on a name, and theres plenty of time. But why hate me?
I dont hate you, I insisted. I was afraid of you on the sloop
because I knew you had come for blood.
He waited expectantly.
I know enough about you inhumi to frighten me ten times
over. I know how strong you are, and that you can swim better
than we can, and fly. I know how clever you are, too.
Do you really know how clever we are? Tell me. Id love to
hear it.
You speak my language as well as I do, and you could make
me believe you were one of us if you wanted to. One of you was
our Prolocutor in the Long Sun Whorl. I hesitated. Do I have
to explain what a Prolocutor is?
He shook his head. Go on.
He pretended to be a doddering old man, but he saw through
everybody and outwitted our Ayuntamiento over and over again.
He outwitted the rest of us, too. We never doubted that he was
human.
I see. He was a cunning foe, who nearly destroyed you. At
certain angles there was a light in the inhumus eyes that seemed
almost a yellow flame.
No, he wasnt my enemy, he was my friend. Or at any rate
he was Silks friend, and I was Silks friend, too. Exhausted as I
was, and sick with pain, I did not consider how unlikely it was that
the inhumu had ever heard of Silk.
Are you saying you hated this man because he befriended your
friend?
Ive made it sound too simple.
Most things are simple.
Patera Quetzal wasnt a man at all, but we didnt know it. He
was one of you, and he drank blood!
I wish that I could talk to him. The inhumu seemed to speak
mostly to himself.
Hes dead.
Oh. Really. You turned on your friend and killed him, when
you found out he was one of us?
I wanted to say that I wished I had, which would have been
the plain truth; but I wanted much morewanted desperately, in
factto escape the pit. We didnt. We didnt even know until he
was dead. He was shot by the Trivigauntis we were fighting and
died of his wound. That was the plain truth as well.
So you hate him now because he drank your blood and
deceived you, and that hatred has been carried over to me? Is that all
there is?
You drank Babbies blood.
Your hus? Yes, I did. What else?
I actually began to tell him, saying, I have a wife and
children
I know. On the isle they call the Lizard, or Lizard Island.
I suppose I must have gaped.
Youve been answering questions for me, so Ill answer that
one for you. When I was on your boat, the siren who was with you
said youd spoken to people on another one. Do you remember
that?
A siren? I was bewildered, and in no condition to think. Do
you mean Seawrack?
If we accept that name as hers.
Shes very good-looking. I tried to swallow, although my
mouth was drier than the palms of my hands. But shes not aa
seductress. Shes still very young.
He smiled. Until then I had forgotten that they could. Lets
forget I used that word. The young lady with you said you had
spoke to another boat.
You cant have learned about us just from that.
Certainly I could have. I did. I found the boat, which wasnt
very far from yours, and talked to the men on it. They thought I
was one of you, naturally, and I gave them valuable information,
which I made up. In return, they told me your name and your wifes
and where you were going, which was the chief thing I wanted to
know. There arent many towns where a man might be named
Horn. I went to New Viron, which was the closest. We can fly, you
know, a whole lot faster than your little boat can sail. I made more
inquiries there, and I had no trouble at all.
If my face was not grim at that moment, it lied; I was very close
to trying to snatch my slug gun from him and kill him. Did you
harm my family?
No. I flew over your island and had a look at your house and
your paper mill. Im curious at times, like anybody else. I saw a
woman there, standing on the beach and looking out to sea, an
older and somewhat plainer woman than the new wife on your boat.
I didnt harm her, and I dont think she saw me. Is that sufficient?
I nodded.
Fine. Take this back, will you? He passed me my slug gun.
I cant use it and you can, so youd better have it.
Numbly, I accepted it and pushed up the safety.
You arent going to shoot me? He raised his hands in a
gesture of mock surrender.
No. No, Im not.
Youre remembering something. I sense it. Want to tell me
what it is?
Nothing to the point. My head ached, and the hope that
had given me new life for a minute or two had guttered out. Should
I put the muzzle into my mouth? That might be the best way.
Tell me, please.
Perhaps it was the shock of hearing one of these monsters say
please; whatever the reason, I did. I was recalling what a woman
named Chenille once told Nettle about a man, a starving convict,
named Gelada. He was in the tunnels. There are horrible tunnels
running underground all through the Long Sun Whorl, where I
used to live.
Gelada was in them, the inhumu prompted me.
He wanted to escape. Anybody would. He had a bow, but
Auk, the man who was with Chenille, said he wouldnt shoot them,
because they were Geladas only chance. Without them, he would
never get out.
I said that. I said all that earlier, and you ought to have
listened. If I were to get you out, it would be terribly dangerous for
me, wouldnt it? Unless I disposed of that slug gun and your knife
first. His face was that of a reptile, although his forehead was
higher; his voice was a young manswas my sons.
No, I told him. I was almost too despondent to argue. If
you freed me, I would never hurt you. Never, not for any reason.
He stood up. Im going, but Ill leave you this to think about.
We could kill you, all of you. Were stronger, as you said, and we
can fly. Our race is older than yours, and has learned things that
you cant even dream of. Since you hate us, and kill us when you
can, why dont we do it?
You want our blood, I suppose.
Exactly. You are our cattle.
I had expected him to fly, but he swarmed up the smooth stone
side of the pit as a squirrel climbs a tree, making it look so easy
that for a moment I almost imagined that I could do it myself. My
thumb was on the safety; but without him I could not escape. Nor
could I escape the memory of a time when Sinew was not yet born,
and Hoof and Hide not even thought of, when Nettle and I had
worked frantically to free someone elses cow from a quagmire in
the vain hope that her owner would give her to us if we succeeded.
Then he was gone; and I, using the slug gun for a crutch, got
to my feet and was so foolish as to try to climb out as he had,
struggling in that way until I was utterly exhausted and never
getting half as high as my own head.
* *
Earlier I had prayed, then cursed every god in my heart when
the rescuer they sent had proved to be Krait. On that day I did not
pray, or curse, or any such thing.
This is what I least wished to write about last night, but I am
going to try to write it down this evening. Once, as I lay there at
the bottom of the pit, it seemed to me that a man with a long nose
(a tall man or an immense spider) stood over me. I did not move
or even open my eyes, knowing that if I did he would be gone. He
touched my forehead with something he held, and the pit vanished.
I was standing in Nettles kitchen. She was making soup, and
I watched her add a whole plateful of chopped meat to her kettle
and shake the fire. She turned and saw me, and we kissed and embraced.
I explained to her that I was not really in her kitchen at all,
that I lay at the bottom of a pit in a ruin of the Vanished People
on an island far away, and that I was dying of thirst.
Oh, Nettle said, Ill get you some water.
She went to the millstream and brought back a dipper of clean,
cool water for me; but I could not drink. Come with me, I told
her. Ill show you where I am, and when you give me your water
there Ill be able to drink it. I took her hand (yes, Nettle my
darling, I took your hard, hardworking little hand in mine) and
tried to lead her back to the pit in which I lay. She stared at me
then as if I were some horror from the grave, and screamed. I can
never forget that scream.
And I lay in the pit, as before. The Short Sun was burning gold.
I managed to sit up and to nod.
Look, Horn, Ive brought you a bottle of water. He held it
up. I carried an empty one, and filled it to the top at a spring Ive
discovered not far from here. Wasnt that clever of me?
I tried to speak, to beg him for the water; but I could not. I
nodded again.
Youd promise me anything for this, wouldnt you? He
leaped into the pit with it. Ill trade you this bottle for your slug
gun. Will you trade?
I must have nodded, because the bottle was in my hands, although
he held it too. I put it to my lips and drank and drank; I
would not have believed that I could drink an entire bottle of that
size without ever taking it from my mouth, but that was how I
drank that one.
You feel better now, the inhumu said. It was a statement,
not a question.
I found that I could speak again, although the voice did not
seem mine. Yes. Thank you. I do.
I know. Ive been in exactly the same position myself. I not
only got you that bottle of water, Horn, but I brought you a coil
of rope. Its small, but I think it may be strong enough. Its very
hard to carry anything when you fly. It keeps pulling you down,
and youve got to hold it with your feet. He held up one foot in
a way that very few human beings could have imitated, and I saw
that his toes were as long as my fingers, and tipped with claws.
Thank you, I repeated. Thank you very much.
Ill get you out, or my rope and I will. But youll have to help
us, and Ive got to get your promise first. Your solemn oath.
I nodded and tried to smile.
A question. He leveled a forefinger longer than mine; it, too,
was claw-tipped. Are you a logical, unemotional sort of man,
would you say? Are you willing to follow reason wherever it takes
you?
Halting and stammering, I tried to say that I made an effort to
be, and thought that I was.
Then lets go back. Not to the boat, we dont have to back
up that far. The other day I wanted to know why you hated me,
and you explained that it was because I wanted to drink your blood,
and because one of us had deceived you into thinking he was one
of you up there. Do you remember that?
Yes. I could not imagine what he was getting at.
You drove me from your boat, despite the fact that I didnt
try to deceive you. If I would not drink your bloodI will pledge
myself not towould you still drive me away?
My thirst had been quenched, but I was weak and sick. If I
could.
Why?
One of you nearly killed my son.
His head wagged. That wasnt me. Havent you any better
reason?
Because you drank Babbies blood, and would glut yourself
on Seawracks if you could.
I pledge myself not to drink theirs either. I warn you, I wont
go any further. I have to eat, just as you do. Now, if I get you out,
will you let me remain on board?
Quite certain that he would never rescue me, I said that I
would.
You have a good reputation in your town. Are you a man of
your word? Is your word sacred to you, even when its given to me?
Yes, I said.
You lack conviction. Listen to me. You are going to Pajarocu.
My eyes must have opened a little wider at that.
The men on the other boat told me. Youre going to
Pajarocu. Acknowledge it.
We are trying to get to Pajarocu.
Thats better. Youre going to board a lander there, and fly
up to the great ship.
I nodded, and seeing that a nod would not be sufficient, said,
Were hoping to fly back up to the Whorl, as you say. I
certainly am, and Ill take Seawrack if she wants to go and theyll
allow me to.
The inhumu pointed to himself, his wrist backbent in a fashion
that no human being could have managed. I want to go with you.
Will you help me, if I help you get out of this place?
Yes, I said again.
He smiled wryly, swaying as Patera Quetzal used to. You
dont mean it.
Yes, I do.
Youll have to give a better pledge than that. Listen to me,
Horn. Ill do everything I can to help you get there before the lander
takes off. You think Ill obstruct you. I wont. Ill help all I
can. Were strong, you say. Wont I be a strong friend to you? You
praised our cunning. It will be at your service. Dont say you dont;
trust me. You must trust me, or die.
I trust you, I said, and I meant it; that is the measure of a
mans desire to liveof mine, at least. An inhumu had demanded
that I trust him if I wanted to live, and trust him I did.
Better. Will you let me go with you and help you? Will you
pledge yourself to reveal my nature to no one?
Yes, if youll get me out.
You still dont mean it. Do you believe in gods? Who are
they?
I rattled off the names of the Nine.
Which means the most to you? Name him!
Great Pas.
Youre holding something back. Do you think you can trick
me because I can trick you? Youre wrong, and youd better learn
that from the beginning. Which means most to you?
It was the end of my resistance. The Outsider. And Pas.
The inhumu smiled. I like you, Horn. I really do. Im growing
fond of you. Now listen to this. I swear to you by Pas, by the
Outsider, and by my own god that I will not feed upon either you
or Seawrack, as you call her. Neither will I take the blood of your
pet hus, ever again. I further swear that there will be no trickery or
double-dealing in the keeping of this oath I give, no sophistry. I
will keep the spirit as well as the letter. Is that satisfactory?
I nodded.
Then Ill be wasting my time with the rest, but Im going to
waste it. I further swear that as long as Im on your boat Ill never
deceive you into thinking that Im one of you, or try to. What more
do you want me to say?
Nothing, I told him.
Ill continue just the same. Listen to me, Horn. What does it
matter to you whether I prey on your kind here or there? Is their
blood more precious aboard the void ship?
No.
Correct. It doesnt matter in the least. Ill have an easier time
of it up there with less competition, thats all. And therell be one
fewer of us down here preying upon your friends and family. He
was silent for a few seconds, gauging my reaction. Suppose I leave
you where you are. Who will prey upon your family then, Horn?
That nice woman I saw, and whatever children the two of you have
back home on Lizard Island? No doubt youve thought about it?
I shook my head.
Why, I will. Ill leave you in here, but I wont just leave you
here and forget you. Ill go back there bringing word of you, and
you wont be there to protect them. Do I have to speak more clearly
tian that? I will if I must.
I shook my head again. Ill swear to whatever you want me
to swear to, by Pas and the Outsider, and your god, too, if youll
let me.
Youll have my friendship and assistance. Do I have to go
through that again?
No, I said.
Then swear youll accept both. Youre not to kill or injure
me, or drive me away, or betray me to anyone else for any reason whatsoever.
Youre to do everything you can to see to it that Im on
the lander when it takes off. That we both are.
I swore, stumbling at times over the phrasing but corrected by him.
When I was finished, he turned away. Im sorry, Horn. I really
am. That was close. You tried very hard. If I can, Ill be back
tomorrow. Before I could say a word, he had begun to climb the
wall of the pit.
I broke. I am a coward at heart, I suppose. Perhaps all men are,
but I certainly am. I pleaded. I begged. I wept and shrieked aloud,
and wept again.
And when I did, he turned back. Krait the inhumu turned at
the edge of the pit, and looked down upon me in my misery. He
may have been smiling or grinning or snarling. I do not know.
Horn? he said.
Yes! I raised my arms, imploring him. Tears streamed down
my face as they had when I was a child.
Horn, your oath didnt convince me. I dont think any oath
you could give would. Not today, and probably never. I cant trust
you, and I dont know of anything that would... He stopped,
perhaps only to watch me weep.
Wait! My sobs were choking me. Please wait. Will you let
me talk?
He nodded. For a minute or two, as long as you dont talk
nonsense.
Hear me outthats all I ask. My house is on the Lizard.
Youve seen it. You said you flew over it and saw Nettle on the
beach.
Go on.
I built it, and weve lived there for years. I know how things are
done in our house. Isnt that obvious? Youve got to believe
me.
He nodded again. I do, so far.
There are bars on the windows and inside the flue. There are
good locks on both doors, and bars for them as well. Heavy wooden
bars that you put up and lift down. When conjunction is near
As it is. Go on.
When conjunctions near, we always bar the doors. My wife
bars them at shadelow, even if Im still working in the mill. I have
to knock and be let in.
Youre proposing that I knock and imitate your voice. I could
doit.
No, I said, and shook my head. Let me finish, please.
Itits something better.
In his own voice, which might have been Sinews, he said,
Lets hear it.
When conjunctions past, she forgets. She never bars them
then. Ive spoken to her about it, but it didnt help. Unless I bar
them, they arent barred.
I reached into my pocket, got the key, and held it out. You want to go
to the Whorl. But if you dont goif we dontyoull
be here. And youll have the key.
He hesitated. Perhaps his hesitation was feigned; I do not
know.
I said, If we get to the Whorl, you and I both, I want you to
promise me youll give it back.
You trust my promise? His face was as expressionless as the
face of a snake.
Yes. Yes, I must.
Then trust this one. Ill get you out at once, as soon as you
throw me that key.
I did. I was too weak to throw it out of the pit the first time;
it rang against the stone side a hands breadth below the top, and
fell back in. I tried to run and catch it in the air, and nearly fell
myself.
Im waiting, Horn. He was kneeling at the edge, his hands
ready.
I threw again, and watched those scaly hands close around it.
Without a word, he stood, dropped the key into his pocket,
turned, and walked haltingly away.
There are times when time means nothing. That was one. My
heart pounded like a hammer, and I tried to clean my face with my
fingers.
When he came back, it might almost have been a theophany. I
had wanted to see him so much that when I did I was horribly afraid that I
was imagining it. Get my slug gun, he said. We
may need it.
I did as I was told, slinging it across my back.
Im not heavy enough to pull you up. Youd pull me in. He
tossed down a coil of rope. Ive tied the other end to one of these
little bushes. If you can climb up, youll be out. If you cant...
He shrugged.
I made use of every foothold, and tried to remember how Silk
had climbed Bloods wall, and Bloods house, too; but nothing
seemed to help. In the end Krait helped me, his hand grasping my
own and his clawed feet braced against the side of a little depression
he had made for them. His hand was small, smooth, cold, and
strong; unpleasantly soft.
Then there came a moment when I stood at the rim of the pit
I had come to know so well, staring down at its stones and bones,
its fallen leaves and broken strands of vine.
What about the rope? he said. Shall we take it with us?
I shook my head.
We may need it. I got it from your boat.
So the sloop was safe. Just knowing that made me feel a little bit stronger.
Leave it, I told him. Somebody else may fall in.
Together we made the long walk back to the sloop. You can fly, I
said once when we stopped to rest. Why dont you? Ill be
there as soon as I can.
Youre afraid I dont trust you.
I denied it.
Youre right. It would be foolish of me to doubt you now
that youre out of that hole and have my slug gun and your knife.
You could kill me easily, and take the key from my pocket.
I nodded, although I was thinking that it would not be half so
easy as he implied.
Im going to become one of you, and in fact I already have.
I did it when I borrowed your clothes. So now I have to act like
one of you and walk, even though walkings hard for me. He
smiled bitterly. Do I look like a real boy to you?
I shook my head.
You see, Im keeping my promise. Ill look like a boy to the
young woman you call Seawrack, however, and to everyone we meet, unless
theyre... Well, you know. So I cant fly. I cant because
you cant. Do you enjoy paradoxes?
I told him that Silk had liked them more than I did.
He was wiser than you are, exactly as you say. Ill pester you
with dozens before we part, Horn. Heres one. Those who cling to
life lose it; those who fling their lives away save them. Do you like
that?
I said, I might if I understood it.
Paradoxes explain everything, he told me. Since they do,
they cant be explained.
* *
He volunteered to read my future in the stars. I declined, pointing
out that it was midday and that even if he went outside he
would not be able to see them. He insisted that he knew their
positions even when he could not, unrolling a score of big charts,
and launching into a convoluted recitation that nobody understood.
I cut him off, ruling that he did not need my permission to tell
fortunes, or anyones, as long as he behaved himself. I added that
he was free to take fees from, anyone foolish enough to give him
| their money.
He retired to the back of the room, and I soon forgot about
H him; but after an hour or two he came forward again, announcing
If loudly that he had completed his prediction for me. (It was the
I usual mixture of flattery and menaceI would lead three towns not
my own to victory, would be tried for my life, would return as a
stranger to my sons native place, find new love, and so on and so
forth. I will not put myself to the trouble of recording the entire
rigmarole.) When he had finished, I asked how Ior anyone whose
future he foretoldmight know that his prophecies were valid; and
he solemnly declared that the stars themselves confirmed them.
Everybody laughed. But there is rarely a day on which I do not
hear proofs of the same kind advanced with confidence. Somebody
testifies, and his testimony being doubted, swears that it is true. A
dozen heads nod sagely. Yes, since he declares it true, it must be.
That is easy enough; but what about Kraits first paradox? Now
I think that he meant that I had doomed myself by my own anxiety
to leave the pit. Given courage enough to refuse the help of an
inhumu, I might have been rescued by someone else or freed myself
by my own efforts, and so might have returned eventually to my
home, which I feel certain that I shall never see again.
That I will never see more, even if the storms and waves have
spared it.
* *
But I will not have much time tonight, and I am going to use
it to write about something that happened today instead. In a way
it bears upon everything that I had intended to write, and I will get
to that soon enough.
A man came to court this morning to ask protection from the
Vanished People. There was a good deal of laughter, and when I
had restored order I pointed out to him that his fellow townsmen
did not believe himor even credit the present existence of the
Vanished Peopleand suggested that he first put forward whatever
evidence of their existence he possessed so that we would not be
laughed to scorn.
This man, whose name is Barsat, admitted that he had no evidence beyond the
testimony of his wife, whom he offered to bring
to court tomorrow; but he swore that he had seen the Vanished
People on three occasions and felt sure they were by no means
friendly.
I asked what he had done to offend them. He does not know,
or at least says he does not. I then asked him to describe the circumstances
under which he saw them the first time. He said he was
going into the jungle to cut firewood when he saw several standing
or sitting in thickets and regarding him in a less than friendly way,
and turned back. I asked how many there were. He said he could
not be sure, at which there was more laughter.
That and his obvious sincerity convince me that he is telling
the truth. If he were lying, his testimony would have been both
more circumstantial and more sensational. Besides, any number of
Neighbors greater than two is difficult to count in my experience.
* *
I quickly convinced myself that he already was.
Having satisfied my thirst from the water bottle he had
brought, and again at the spring he showed me, I had become
ravenously hungry. There was food on the sloop, I knew; and it
was even possible that the inhumu and I might sight the game that
had evaded Seawrack and me. If we did, I told myself, I would
shoot it, butcher it, and eat it on the spot. I unslung the slug gun
and carried it at the ready.
We had gone about two-thirds of the way when something
rattled the branches of an immense flintwood that had fallen only
a few days earlier. It was nearly dark by then; I heard the rustle of
the dying leaves much more plainly than I saw them move.
I pushed off the safety and advanced cautiously, and when they
rustled again, put the butt to my shoulder. Urgently the inhumu
whispered, Dont shoot until we see what it is.
I scarcely heard him. I was fairly sure I knew about where the
animal was, and was resolved to cripple it if I could not kill it, telling
myself that I would soon track it down.
The branches sounded a third time, I squeezed the trigger, and
the inhumu slapped my slug gun to one side, all in far less time
than it has taken me to write it.
Before the report had died away, Babbie broke from cover,
charging straight at us with all the blinding speed of which hus are
capable over short distances. If it had been five minutes later and
thus a shade darker, he would have opened me from thigh to shoulder.
As it was, he recognized me at the last possible moment, and
recognizing the inhumu as well, diverted his charge to him.
Although I had written about Patera Quetzals flying, and had
heard him in flight when we were in the tunnels, I had never actually
seen him fly. Here on Blue, I have seen inhumi in flight
several times, but always at a distance, so that they might almost
have been bats or even birds; in the shadow of those twilit trees, I
saw one take flight when I stood so near that I might easily have
touched him. He sprang into the air, and as Babbie passed beneath
him his arms lengthened, widened, and thinned. His fingers spread
a web of skin, each finger grown longer than my arms. That is
something less than clear, I realize; but I do not know any other
way to describe it. At once his arms beat, not slowly as one normally
sees when the inhumi fly but with the most frantic haste, raising a
sudden gale in complete and ghostly silence. Babbie turned back
and leaped, his tusks slashing murderously at
Nothing. The inhumu had vanished into the darkness of the
boughs.
I called, Babbie! Babbie! Its me! and crouched as I used to
on the sloop.
He came to me only slowly, clearly very conscious (as I was
myself) that I had shot at him a moment before; and very conscious,
too, that I still held the slug gun. I laid it aside and spoke to him,
and although I no longer remember just what it was I said, it must
have been effective; before long his head was between my hands,
as it had sometimes been when we two were alone in the sloop
upon the wide, wide sea. I talked to him until the day ended and
the stars appeared, while stroking his muzzle and rubbing his ears;
and no doubt a great deal of it was nonsense; one thing impressed
me, however, and I should record it here. These, I believe, were
my exact words: You thought I was gone, didnt you, Babbie?
Well, I just about was. Poor Babbie! Poor, poor Babbie! You
thought I was dead.
At which he nodded.
* *
These people hold cattle sacred (as I may have mentioned before),
seeing the embodiment of Great Pas in the bulls and that of
Echidna in the cows. Out of regard for these deities, they will not
eat beef or knowingly wear or possess any leather items made from
the skins of cattle. When they sacrifice cattle, as they do almost
daily, the entire carcass is consumed by the altar fire.
The result of all this is that cattle are raised here only for religious
purposes, and although there was a good supply as long as
there were frozen embryos from the landers to implant, their numbers
have fallen so low of late that the priests are seriously concerned.
Since the gods cannot be seen here as they used to be in
the Sacred Windows of the Long Sun Whorl, the priests feel it
absolutely necessary that their symbols be seen as often as possible.
Thus no sooner had some farmers reported wild cattle than a party
of eager volunteers was recruited to capture them. It was a delicate
operation, since the sacred animals could not be harmed or even
made to suffer any indignity.
We rode out about an hour after shadeup, located the herd:
without much trouble, and surrounded it, turning back the animals
that tried to bolt by riding at their shoulders and flourishing yellow
flags embroidered in scarlet thread with quotations from the Writings.
Or rather, as I ought to have said, from what are called the
Sacred Books here; these are rather different, I believe, from the
Chrasmologic Writings we knew back in Old Viron.
They were generally effective, however, although we lost one
heifer and a horse was gored. When we had tired the most rebellious
and had the herd together, a holy man approached it on foot, hung
every animal with garlands, put a noose of red and yellow rope over
the head of each, and led them away, nine head plus three carves.
They will be kept at the temple until they are tame enough to be
permitted to wander at large. The priests say that will be very soon.
* *
After chewing Orebs quill for a minute or two, I have decided to
take the analogy further. It should prove amusing, and may even
be enlightening.
The inhumu had told me that we human beings were the cattle
of his kind. They drink our blood in preference to the blood of
animals merely because they prefer it (this is what he said), just as
we prefer the milk of cattle to that of goats. Various other animals
give milk too: pigs, dogs, and sheep, for example. Yet we do not
even try to milk those.
The more intelligent an animal is, the more difficult it is to
tame. I am not going to offer that as an opinion, because I am
convinced that it is a fact. Let us consider a progression, beginning
with the hus. Hus are more intelligent than nittimonks, nittimonks
more intelligent than dogs, and dogs more intelligent than cattle.
Adult cattle can be captured and tamed in a few weeks. Adult dogs,
born in the wild, can scarcely be tamed at all; and unless they have
been raised among humans they are almost untrainable. Young nittimonks
can be tamed, but can be trained only with the greatest
difficulty, and they are never reliable.
For hus to be tamed and trained, they must be captured very
young, as Babbie no doubt was; and when I lived on Lizard I would
probably have said that the surprising thing was that he could be
trained at all. The truth, as I came slowly to realize during the time
I had him, is that he was not. He did not obey me by rote, as my
horse does. Instead, he tried to cooperate with me. I was inferior
to him in strength and in many other ways, but I possessed powers
that must have seemed wholly magical to him. What did he make
of the slug gun? What could he make of it? Plainly it is in the best
interest of a captive hus to cooperate with his captors, protecting
their property, assisting them to hunt (he will share in the bag, after
all) and the rest.
All that seems clear. Accepting it, how are the inhumi able to
train human beings? How was Krait able to tame me like a hus,
although I had not been taken young? In all honesty, I have no
satisfactory answer. He offered himself as a valuable friend when he
freed me from the pit, and afterward. And he liked me, I believe,
in the same way that I liked poor Babbie. Before Krait died, he
loved me, and I him. I had become the father of a brilliant, wayward,
monstrous son.
It was still dark when I woke wet and shivering, or at least it
seemed so. Fog had come in, chill and damp, and so thick that I
literally could not see the bowsprit from my seat in the stern. I built
a fire in our little box of sand, and Babbie and I sat before it, trying
to keep as warm and dry as we could.
I should have brought warmer clothes, I told him. I knew
perfectly well that I was going to a faraway place, but it never
crossed my mind that the climate here was bound to be different.
He only sniffed the ashes, not quite convinced as yet that I was
not cooking fish in them.
When I had gone to sleep, I had planned to search for Seawrack
in the morning. This was the morning, presumably, but there was
no looking for her in it, nor for anything else. For a while I
considered ordering Babbie to find her for me; but I had no reason to
think he knew where she was, and if he set off to search the entire
island it seemed likely that I would lose him as well. At last I said,
This fog may last all day, Babbie, and I suppose its possible it
may be foggy tomorrow, too. But its bound to lift eventually.
He glanced up at me, stirring the ashes tentatively with both
forefeet.
Taking his silence for agreement, I continued, As soon as it
does, well sail all the way around the island. She probably got lost.
Who wouldnt get lost in this? And the natural thing for her to do
would be to walk downhill until she found the sea, and go along
the beach.
A voice that seemed disembodied remarked, Youll find her if
you do it, but I can take you straight to her if you want me to.
It was a boys voice, and I had better make that plain at once; it
might have been one of the twins speaking.
I looked around, seeing no one.
Up here. With grace that reminded me vividly of a small
green snake I had seen once, Krait slid down the backstay and
dropped into the stern. Babbie was on his feet immediately, every
bristle up.
Do you want me to, Horn? Youll be surprised, at what we
find. Dont say I didnt warn you.
I had laid the slug gun beside me when I slept, and left it there
under the foredeck when I woke up. My hands groped futilely for
it, settling for Sinews knife.
Whats this? He took a quick step backward, but I could not
be sure his alarm was real. Im offering to do you a favor.
Have you killed her?
He raised both hands, exactly the gesture of a boy trying to fend off
a larger and stronger one. I havent! I dont remember
exactly what I promised you when you were down in that hole
You promised you wouldnt drink my blood, or hers, or
Babbies. It leaves you any amount of evil, though I didnt think
of that at the time.
He would not meet my eyes. It wouldnt be fair, would it?
Youd call me a cheater.
I was so angry, and so frightened for Seawrack that I demanded
he answer my question, although he already had.
I havent hurt here at all. Shes alive, and from what
Ive seen of her, perfectly happy.
Then take me to her!
This minute? Horn, listen. I promised not to feed on you, but
I promised a great deal more. I promised to help you get to Pajarocu,
and all that. He took the key to my house out of his pocket
and held it up. Remember this?
I nodded.
I havent used it. Someday I may, but I havent yet. You say
youre reasonable. You said you tried to be, and you know that I
want to find Pajarocu as much as you do. More, if you ask me.
Would it make sense for me to hurt her, when I havent hurt you
or your family? Or your pet hus? I wouldnt guide you to her after
Id harmed her, would I?
I was relaxing. The mere fact that he seemed afraid of me made
me less fearful of him, although that is always a mistake. I
apologize. Why did you say Id be surprised when we found her?
He shook his head. I wont tell you, because you wouldnt
believe me. Wed fight again, and it would be bad for both of us.
If you want to go now Ill show you, but well have to untie your
boat.
We did, and got the anchor up; it was not until I had the sloop
gliding like a ghost through the damp gray silence that I asked
whether he could see to guide us in spite of the fog.
Yes, I can. We all can, and now you know something that very
few others do. He threw back his head, looking in the general
direction of the block at the top of the mast. What color is the
sky, Horn?
I told him that I could not see it, that I could not so much as
see the masthead.
No wonder you didnt spot me up there. Look anyway. What
color is it?
Gray. Fog is always gray, unless theres sunshine on it. Then
its white.
And when you look up at the sky on a sunny day? What color
then?
Blue.
He said nothing, so I added, Its a beautiful, clear blue, and
the clouds are white, if there are any.
The sky I see is always black.
I believe I must have explained that for us the night sky was
black, too, and tried to describe it.
Its always black, he repeated as he went forward and
climbed onto the little foredeck, and the stars are there all the
time.
* *
This was different. I wanted to think, and in a moment I will
tell you what I was thinking about. I wiped my pen and laid it
down, rose and clasped my hands behind my back. You know, dear
wife, how I used to walk the beach deep in thought when we were
planning the mill. In the same way I stalked silently around this big
pink-and-blue house, which they have given me and expanded for
me, and which we call my palace to overawe our neighbors.
All was silent, everyone else having gone to bed. In the stableyard
my elephant slept standing, as elephants do and as horses
sometimes do also; but slept soundly nonetheless. From the stables
I went out into the garden, and listened to the nightingales singing
as I stared up at the night sky and at such stars as could sometimes
be glimpsed between thick, dark clouds that would have been almost
visible to Krait. Two nightingales in gold cages are kept there,
as I should explain. (I ought to have written were.)
The weather has been sultry for a week at least, and I found
the garden, with its jasmine, plashing fountains, ferns, and statues
a very pleasant place. For half an hour or more I sat upon a white
stone bench, looking up at the stars through torn and racing clouds,
stars (each a whorl like Blue or Green) that must seem to the inhumi
like fruit glimpsed over the high wall of a garden.
Trampin outwards from the city,
No more lookin than was she,
Twas there I spied a garden pretty
A fountain an a apple tree.
These fair young girls live to deceive you,
Sad experience teaches me.
That is not singing as Seawrack understands it, nor as she has
made me understand it either; but she has been silent since
shadelow, and the old rollicking song marches through my head again.
How young we were, Nettle!
Oh, how very young we were!
When I went back inside, I heard Chandi weeping in the
womens quarters. Because I was afraid she would wake the others
I made her come out with me, and we sat together on the white
stone bench while I did my unskillful best to comfort her. She was
homesick, poor child, and I made her tell me her real name and
describe her parents and brothers and sisters, the town she comes
from, and even her mothers cook and her fathers workmen. She was
born in the Whorl, just as you and I were; but she can remember
nothing about it, having left as an infant. I got her to tell me
everything she had learned about it from her parents, but there was
very little beyond self-glorification: they had lived in a much bigger
house there, and everyone had deferred to them. That sort of thing.
She knew that the sun had been a line across the sky, but imagined
that it rose and set as the Short Sun does here.
As for me, I did not weep; but I was at least as homesick as
she, and when she was calmer I told her about you, Nettle, calling
you Hyacinth. She understood very little but sympathized very
much. She is a good-hearted girl, and cannot be much over fifteen.
When I had talked her out, and myself as well, I promised that
I would send her back to her father and mother. She was horrified,
and explained that no matter what she or I said they would believe
that I had rejected her, as would all the people of her town; she
would be shunned by everyone, and might even be stoned to death.
She is mine, it seemsbut not mine to set free. I could not help
thinking that she and I, who are so different in appearance, age,
and gender, are in fact two of a kind.
Together, we released one of the nightingales and watched it
fly away, a symbol for both of us of what we wished for ourselves.
She wanted me to open the cage of the other, but I told her that
I would not, that another night would come on which she would
be as she had been tonight; and I said that when that night came
we would talk again and set the second bird free.
It is not well to spend ones symbols improvidently.
Now I think differently, and I feel certain I am right. The black
sky that Krait saw was not the night sky, or the day sky either. It
was the sky, the only sky there is, without clouds and without any
change save for the slow circling of the Short Sun and the other,
more distant, stars, and the somewhat quicker rising and setting of
Green. The whorl to him and to all the inhumi is the airless starlit
plain we saw when poor Mamelta led us to the belly of the Whorl.
Small wonder then that the inhumi are so wretched, so cruel, and
so hungry for warmth.
* *
I woke heartbroken, and found that I had fallen asleep in
the jungle, lying beside Krait. I picked up his hand and rubbed the
back, feeling that rubbing would somehow restore him to life, but
his body was dissolving into fetid liquid already, a liquid that became
the filthy water of the sewer I opened there.
10
SEAWRACKS RING
We were after wallowers, the most prized game hereabout, and
the most difficult to hunt. A silence of eight or ten had been located
not much more than a league from the town, but we had to ride a
long way out of the direct route and through difficult country in
order to approach them upwind. All the men said that wallowers
never remain in a place where they have been hunted, and may
move forty leagues or more before they stop again.
I had a slug gun like the rest, and although I had not the least
intention of using it when we set out, I realized before long that I
would have to if the opportunity arose; otherwise Kilhari, Hari
Mau, and the others in our party would feel I had betrayed them.
Kilhari posted us in a wide semicircle well out of sight of the
silence (as the herd is called), telling us that when we saw the
stalkers approaching it we might edge in a little. I asked him to put me
in the worst place, explaining that I had borrowed my gun, was half
blind and badly out of practice, and so forth. He posted me last, at
one of the tips of the crescent, saying that those were the worst
places. They are actually the best, as I suspected at the time and
verified this evening.
After about an hour at my post, I caught sight of the decoys.
These were two men in the wickerwork figure of a young wallower
covered with hide. They advanced slowly and cautiously through
the open, swampy forest, often turning away from the denser
growth where the silence was thought to be, so as to give the
stalkers hidden behind them better cover. Their part of the hunt is the
most dangerous as well as the least glorious, because a real wallower
will often charge their false one, and they have no slug guns and
would have no chance of firing them if they did. For protection
they must depend upon the stalkers behind them.
Their gradual advance must have taken the better part of another
hour. Because I was eager to catch a glimpse of the great
beasts about which I had heard so much on the ride out, I advanced,
too, pushing my way through the high, rough grass, although
not nearly as far as the decoy and the stalkers, and standing
on tiptoe from time to time in order to see better over it. The
suspense was almost unbearable.
Quite suddenly, both stalkers rose and fired over the back of
the wickerwork figure. Up until that time, I had been unable to see
the wallowers, but as soon as the crash of the slug guns sounded,
a dense patch of saplings and brush seemed almost to explode as
twenty or more enormous dark-gray beasts with towering horns
dashed from it.
And vanished. It was one of the most amazing things that I
have ever seen. At one moment these huge animals, twice the size
of an ordinary horse and six times its weight, were charging madly
in every direction. At the next they were gone. Several hunters were
firing some distance from me, but I saw nothing to shoot at.
I do not remember seeing the young bull rise from the scythe
grass, although I suppose I must haveonly slamming my slug gun
to my shoulder and pulling the trigger, then flying through the air
without fear and without pain, and then one of the other hunters
(it was Ram, whose name, I fear, makes him sound as though he
comes from my own Viron) helping me up. In retrospect it was
rather like my hunt in the Land of Fires, but of course I did not
think of that until tonight.
Wishing very much that Babbie were with us, I told Ram that
we had to track the wallower that had charged me, that I had fired
at him from very close range and felt certain I had wounded him.
He laughed and pointed, and in a few seconds half a dozen men
were gathered around the dead wallower, which had not run ten
strides before collapsing. Since two or three hunters often empty
their guns to bring one of these animals down, it was an extraordinary
shot. As for me, I had torn trousers and have some big
bruises here and there, but I am well otherwise.
These hunts are only occasionally successful, and a single kill is
considered an achievement. We had two, one killed by the stalkers
(who are generally the most experienced hunters and the best shots)
and this one by me, so we returned to town as heroes. I will have
to refrain from all hunting in the future if I want to keep the
reputation I have won.
At any rate, we are having a great feast tonight, with everyone
who took part sharing in the meat. I excused myself as soon as the
serious drinking began, which is how I have this opportunity to
write. The hide, the Y-shaped horn, the bones, and especially the
big canine teeth, all of which are valuable, will be sold. I will receive
the money from my animal, and since I do not need it I hope to
use some of it to benefit the poor.
And some, dear Nettle, I hope to use to rejoin you. They have
almost ceased to watch me, and I am careful to do nothing to
arouse their suspicions.
No doubt I have written too much about our hunt, which can
be of little interest to you; but I wanted to set down this account
while the facts were still fresh in my mind. I had another purpose,
too, which I hope to make clear if I have time for a good session
tomorrow.
* *
Probably not, because I am not sure I understand it myself.
You told me about the beautiful pictures upstairs in the cenoby,
and I put them in our book because Maytera Marble had posed for
Molpe. Describe that picture again to yourself, and imagine me
looking at the sea as the sea would have appeared in it.
As for the rest of you who may read this, whether you are our
sons or strangers or both, there is a sharpness of detail born of a
consciousness of detail. When we untied the sloop, I saw the unnatural
calm of the little bay beneath the fog that veiled it, and
when I had steered us out (guided by Krait, who stood upon the
mainsail gaff to advise me), every coiling, foaming wave that slapped
our hull was as clearly drawn as any of my brothers.
We quarreled at that point, the inhumu and I. We were to
quarrel almost daily afterward, but that was the first and one of the
worst. I was angry at him for untying the jib, and he was angry at
me for steering too near the rocks. The upshot of our quarrel was
that the sloop was free to sail herself, and the course she chose took
her a good league into open water. By the time we had made peace,
Krait could no longer see the island or anything else, or so he said.
Ill have to fly, he told me, and I may have to fly high.
Then Ill come down again and give you an approximate direction.
I asked whether he could find the sloop again in the fog, and
suggested that I might build a fire in the sandbox to guide him,
although the truth was that I was hoping to crowd on sail and evade
him. He laughed and asked me to turn my back; I did, and when
I turned around again he was gone. „»
Babbie snorted with relief, and I felt as he did. Much more, I
feltI knewthe sea and the cold gray sea-fog that wrapped us
both. I have said that I saw it as a painter would, and I may even
have said that I saw it as a picture; but it was a picture that
surrounded and saturated me, and mixed with my spirit. The sea whose
spray wet my beard, and the fog I inhaled at every breath, were no
longer things apart from myself. If they were pictured, I was
pictured, too; and it was the same picture. We lived in and through
each other then, in a picture without a frame.
Something had happened to change my perception, and that
change remains in force to this moment. How I wish I could make
you see our hunt for the wild cattle as I did! The milling herd with
rolling eyes, and we riders with our embroidered flags! You will
want me to explain, but I have no explanation, although at that
time and for a long time after it I felt that it was the inhumus
presence. I taxed him with it when he returned to the sloop, landing
softly behind me and announcing his arrival with a boyish laugh.
He denied it, and we quarreled again, although not as bitterly as
before. Even then, I knew that his denials were without value.
Since Krait is not present to speak for himself, let me speak for
him. I will try to do it with more logic than either of us displayed
when I argued with him on the sloop.
First, he did not have that effect on others, as well as I could
judge.
Second, it did not benefit him, and in fact he lost by it.
Third, it persisted even in his absence, as I have tried to show.
And fourth and last, I had experienced nothing of the sort when
we were with Quetzal in the tunnels.
Yet he was capable of affecting our perception of him, for Seawrack
and others saw him as a human being, as the boy he claimed
to be, whereas I would sooner have called poor Babbie a child.
Seawrack, as I should explain, swam out to the sloop once she
understood that I was on it and that I still wanted her. The inhumu
had made me promise I would call to her as loudly as I could the
moment I heard her voice; but I did not call then or for some
minutes afterward, only telling him to be quiet when he spoke and
once striking him with Marrows stick.
A time came when she sang no longer, and I recalled my promise
and pleaded with her; but by then she was already in the water
and swimming toward us. This happened hours after we had sailed
out to sea with no one at the helm, because we had first found the
mainland (which Krait had mistaken for the island) and only after
we had discovered our mistake returned to the islandand we had
to sail some distance around it to reach Seawrack again, I still
blinded by the fog and in terror of submerged rocks, which the
inhumu could no more have seen than I could.
By the time we had relocated her it was probably about mid-afternoon,
and the fog had lifted somewhat. It parted, and I
glimpsed her sitting upon a rock thrust up from the sea like the
horn of some drowned monster. She was naked (more so than when
she had first come on board, since she no longer had her gold) and
her legs, which were very long, as I may have said, seemed almost
to coil about her.
She is going back to what she was, the inhumu told me when
I would listen to him again. While she was with you, she was
becoming one of you. That was why the Mother gave her to you,
I think. While we sailed out of the bay, I had told him how
Seawrack came to be with me.
I echoed him. You think?
Yes, I do, which is more than I can say for you. Do you imagine
that now that shes coming back to you shell sing for you
the way she did out there?
I had not considered that, and it must have showed in my
stricken expression.
Youre right. She probably wont sing a note, even if you
beg.
Having seen her small, white hand upon the gunwale, I put a
finger to my lipsat which he smiled.
We helped her aboard and she stared at the inhumu (whose
name I had never learned, thinking of him up until then only as
the inhumu). I told her (as he and I had agreed I should) that
he was a boy who had been left behind on the island by some boats
crew, and that he had helped me out of the pit. It was difficult for
me to lie like that, because as I spoke I could see very plainly that
he was not a boy or a human being of any kind. Looking at her
instead should have helped but did not, only making me that much
more conscious of the purity and innocence of her face.
Dont you want to see me? she asked.
I told her that I could not look into her eyes without falling in
love with her. Forgive me, Nettle!
The inhumu offered her his hand, and I felt certain she would feel his
claws, but they had vanished. Im Krait, he said. It was
the first time I heard the name.
She had turned from him before he had finished speaking,
stroking my cheek with her fingers. You were dead.
I shook my head.
Yes, you were. I saw you down there. She trembled ever so
slightly. Dead things are food.
Sometimes, Krait amended.
She ignored him. Where are my clothes?
They were not on the sloop, and I had no more tunics to spare,
but we contrived a sailcloth skirt for her, as I had before, while she
stared vacantly out at the broken fog and the tossing water. You
must hold on to her now if you want to keep her, Krait told me.
Can you sail?
No. But you must do what I tell you, or shell be over the
side in half an hour. He pointed to the little space under the
foredeck where she and I had slept. Lie with her. Talk to her,
embrace her, and try to get her to sing for you. I wont watch, I
promise.
I trimmed the sails and tied the tiller, warning him that if he
did not want to see us drowned he would have to call me at any
change in wind or weather, and persuaded Seawrack to rest with
me for an hour or so.
She agreed, I believe, mostly so that we could talk in private.
I dont like that boy, she told me.
He got me out of the pit after you and Babbie had abandoned
me. Now that she was back with me and safe, I had discovered
that I was angry with her.
You were dead, she said again. I saw you. Dead people are
to eat.
Anxious to change the subject, I asked her to sing, as Krait had
suggested.
The boy would come in then. I dont want him in here
with us.
Neither do I. Sing only to me, very softly, but not like you
used to when we were alone. The way you sang out there.
He would still hear me. She shuddered. His feet are
twisted.
You think hes a boy? (I was incredulous, feeling very much
as I did a few days ago when I realized that the wallowers had in
fact been deceived by the wicker figure.)
She giggled. I dont think hes a boy that way. Hes old
enough. You couldnt keep him out.
He would come to you in here, if you sang?
Oh, yes! The only hand that she possessed slipped into mine.
Aching for her, I asked, What would I do, Seawrack? Im in
here with you already.
Mother told me to stay with you.
I nodded. I could hear Babbie rattling up and down on the
foredeck above our heads like a whole squad of troopers, half mad
with nervousness and suppressed aggression; and now I wonder
whether he saw Krait as an inhumu or a boy, and whether he made
any distinction between the two. Out there, I told Seawrack,
you thought I no longer liked to look at you. The truth is that I
dont like to look at him.
At the boy?
At Krait, I said. Im afraid Ill stare, and that wouldnt be
polite.
Stare at his feet?
Thats right. That must be why he walks so badly. But what
does he look like, the rest of him?
You know.
Men and women often see the same people very differently,
I explained, thinking that it had never been truer than it was for
the two of us that afternoon. Id like to know how he seems to
you.
Youre jealous! She laughed, delighted.
At that time I still hoped that Seawrack would see Krait for
what he was without prompting from me. As seriously as I could,
I said, You dont belong to me, and I belong to Nettle, my wife.
If you want to give yourself to another man, I may advise against it. I
will, if I dont think hes suitable for you. But dont ever
give yourself to that boyto Krait, as hes calling himself.
Well, hes very good-looking. She was steering my hand to
her left breast.
I pulled my hand away. No doubt he is.
Dont be angry with me.
I told her I was not angry, that I was only worried about her,
which was not entirely true. Up on the foredeck I heard the chatter
of Babbies tusks; Babbie was angry, at least, and angrier still
because he had to behave as though he were not.
I came as soon as I heard your voice. I should have let you
come to me. Then this would be wrecked. Do you remember how
you kissed me the first time?
* *
So I have been busy, although not too busy to continue the
account I began last year and have labored over for so long. The
question is not whether I should tell the truthI know well enough
that I should. The question is how much of it must I tell?
(A close mouth catches nae flies, Pig would advise me. I wish
he were here to do it.)
If Silk were to have intercourse with another woman, he would
confess it to Hyacinth, I feel sure; but that is small guidance,
because she would not careor at least, would not care much. How
much would he tell her? That is the true question, and a question
to which I can give no satisfactory answer. The mere fact? Will the
mere fact not make things look worse, much worse, than they really
were?
When I began, these were things I planned to omit. I see now
that if I omit them, nothing I say should be believed. No doubt I
should burn every scrap of this.
* *
Perverse acts that I would like to believe no other man has
performed.
When it was over at last I slept, exhausted; and when I woke
we were sailing briskly north-northeast, with a cold coast of deep
green foliage to port. I stared at it, then at the inhumu seated at
the tiller.
He grinned at me. You thought I couldnt do tiiis.
My jaw hurt, and in fact there was precious little of me anywhere
that did not; but I managed to say, You told me that you
couldnt.
Because I dont know how. I can pull a rope, though, if Im
told which one, and my mother told me that.
Is your mother here? The thought of sharing the sloop with
two inhumi made me physically ill. I sat down on one of the chests,
my head in my hands.
Shes dead, I think. I was referring to your second wife, Father.
Thats what well have to tell people, you know. Shes not old
enough to be my mother, not even as old as I am. I looked at him
sharply, and he put his finger to his lips as I had earlier, grinning still.
I dont like your pretending to be my son, I said, and I
like your pretending to be Seawracks even less. Where is she?
Her stepson, and I cant tell you where she is, Father dear,
because I promised her I wouldnt. The ugly, lipless slit that was
Kraits mouth was no longer grinning. You promised me something,
too. Several things. Dont forget any of them.
I got up, went to his seat at the tiller, and sat on the gunwale,
so close that our elbows touched. Can she hear us now, if we keep
our voices down?
Im quite sure she cant hear me, Father. But Im equally sure
that you wont keep your voice low for more than a minute or two.
You never do. It might be better if we didnt talk at all.
You told me to lie down with her, to...
Do what you did, he supplied.
You said all that while she was standing there with us, while
I was wrapping the canvas around her. You didnt worry about her
overhearing us then.
I didnt worry about her overhearing me. Anyway, she wasnt
thinking about either of us right then. Not even about her skirt.
Couldnt you see that?
Just the same
Her thoughts were very far away. Youd say her spirit. We
were less to her then than your hus is to you.
I looked around for Babbie, and found that he was lying at my
feet.
You see? He makes a noise when he walks. He cant help it.
Tappa-taptap behind you. But you dont even know hes there.
Shes in the water, isnt she? She went over the side, and now
shes holding on to some part of the boat. I looked along the
waterline as far as I could without rising, but saw only waves.
No... Kraits expression told me nothing about his
thoughts; but I sensed that he was troubled, and it made him seem
oddly human. Id better say it so you understand, and this is as
good a chance as Ill get to do it. Do I look like a boy to you?
I shook my head.
By a gesture, he indicated his face. This looks just like a boys,
though, doesnt it?
If you want me to say so, I will.
I dont. I want you to tell the truth. We always do. (I feel
sure he did not mean that the inhumi always tell the truth, which
would itself have been a monstrous lie.)
All right. You look a lot more human now than you used to,
a lot more human than you did when we talked in the pit. But you
dont really look like a boy up close, or like one of us at all.
His nose and chin receded into his face as I watched, and the
ridge over his eyes melted away. All semblance of humanity vanished.
One of the things I promised you then was that I wouldnt
deceive you. The man you hated
Patera Quetzal?
Krait nodded. You said you thought he was an old man, and
you were angry because he had tricked you. You told me some
trooper shot and killed him.
I nodded.
Did you see his corpse?
Yes. Something of the revulsion I had felt must have shown
on my face. What difference does that make?
Being dead makes a great deal of difference to some of us.
Did he look like an old man then?
I hedged. We dont like to look at corpses. I didnt look for
long.
Did he, Horn?
There was something indescribably eerie about sitting there in
the stern of the sloop talking to the inhumu about the death of
Patera Quetzal twenty years ago. Wisps of fog blew past us like
ghosts, and the gossiping tongues of small waves kept up an incessant
murmur in which it seemed that I could catch a word or two. I suppose
not, I told Krait, and heard a wave whisper, Moorgrass.
Nettlethats my wife, you saw herand some other women
were going to wash his body. They screamed, and that was how we
knew.
You looked for yourself after that, didnt you, Horn? You
must have.
I nodded again.
He didnt look like an old man anymore, did he? He couldnt
have.
I shook my head.
What did he look like?
He looked like you.
When Krait said nothing, only transfixing me with his hypnotic
stare, I added, He powdered his face, and painted it. Like a
woman. We found the powder and rouge in a pocket of his robe.
So would I if I had those things, just as I wear this shirt and
these pants, which I took from you. The eyes see what the mind
expects, Horn. Babbie there, lying still with a green twig in his
mouth, could make you think he was a bush, if you were expecting
to see a bush.
Thats right. Its why we use tame hus, or dogs, to hunt wild
hus.
Krait grinned; his jaw dropped, and his fangs sprang out. The
young siren you call Seawrack doesnt see me the way you do. She
doesnt see what you saw when you looked at that dead man.
I agreed.
Knowing that, is it so hard for you to believe that at times
she doesnt hear me at all?
More shaken than I would have liked to admit, I went to the
bow, looking down into the water for her on both sides of the boat
but seeing nothing. After a time, Krait motioned to me, and reluctantly
I went aft again. His voice in my ear was less than a whisper.
If shes listening, she hears you alone, Father. Only the murmur
of your voice. She probably thinks youre talking to yourself, or to
your hus.
I hurt her.
He nodded solemnly. You intended to, as we both know. As
all three of us know, in fact. You intended to, and you succeeded
admirably. Given time, she may find some excuse for you. Would
you like that? His fangs had vanished, and his face had resumed
its boyish outline.
How badly?
Very badly. She bled quite a lot fromoh, various places. It
was difficult for me.
Unable to think of anything else to say, I asked whether he had
found the bandages and salves.
She knew where they were. I helped her tie the knots, where
rags could be of use. Stopping the bleeding was hard. I doubt that
you have any idea just how much trouble we had. He paused,
tense; I knew that he was expecting me to attack him. Do you
understand everything Im telling you?
Certainly. Youre speaking the Common Tongue, and you
speak it at least as well as I do.
He dismissed the Common Tongue with a gesture. Well, you
dont understand her at all.
Men never understand women.
He laughed, and although I had not been angry with him a
moment before there was something in that laugh that made me
yearn to kill him.
* *
To the best of my memory, it was already dark when she came
out. I had long ago concluded that she was in one of the cargo
chests, and was not at all surprised to see the lid of the one in which
I kept rope and the like (the one on which I had sat) opened from
within. I held up the little pan in which I had been cooking a fish
and invited her to join me.
She sat down on the other side of the fire. I thanked her for
it, since I could see her better there; and she looked surprised.
Because Ive been so worried about you, I told her. I
didnt know how badly you were hurt, and I thought you had to be getting
hungry and thirsty. I passed her the water bottle.
She drank and said, Werent you hurt, too?
It touched me as few things ever have. No. Im fine. I was
exhausted, thats all.
She nodded, and drank again.
You could have killed me while I slept, Seawrack. You could
have found my knife and stabbed me to death with it.
I wouldnt do that.
I would have, in your place. I put our last strip offish on a
plate and handed it to her across the fire. Do you want a fork?
She said nothing, staring down at her small portion of fried
fish, so I got her a fork as well. That fish is just about all we have
left, I told her. I should have brought more food.
You didnt know about me. She looked away from the fillet
I had given her with something akin to horror. I dont want this.
Can I give it to Babbie?
He rose at the sound of his name and trotted around the box
to her.
Certainly, if you wish. I watched Babbie devour the morsel
of fish.
I feel a little sick.
So do I. Do I have to tell you that Im terribly, horribly, sorry
for what I did to you? That Ill never do anything like that again?
I sang for you, she said, as if it explained everything.
* *
Inhumi are burned alive in SkanyI am very glad that I had
to watch that only once. I have heard of the same thing being done
in New Viron, and I admit that I would cheerfully have burned or
buried the inhuma that bit Sinew when we were living in the tent.
They are vile creatures, exactly as Hari Mau says; but how can they
help it, when we are as we are? I wish sometimes that Krait had not
told me.
So little, the last time I wrote. Nothing at all about Seawrack and
Krait, the sloop, or the western mainland I call Shadelow; and it
has been two days. If I continue at this rate, I will be the rest of
my life in telling the tale of my failure, simple though it is.
* *
Seawrack asked where the boy was, and I told her that he had
gone ashore to hunt, which tasted like a lie in my mouth although
it was true. My slug gun was still under the foredeck in the place
where we slept, and I was afraid she had seen it there and would
want to know how he could hunt at night without Babbie and
without the gun. Perhaps she thought it, but she never said anything
of that sort. What she actually said was We could sail away
without him.
I shook my head.
All right.
Will you forgive me? I asked her.
Because you wont leave him? She shrugged, her shoulders
(thin shoulders now) rising and slumping again. I hope we will,
sometime, no matter what you say now.
To get out of the pit, I had to promise him that wed take
him to Pajarocu with us, and try to get a place for him on the
lander.
I havent promised him anything, and I wont. Is there any
more corn flour?
No.
She got up to look at my fishing lines. Do women catch fish?
Sometimes, I told her. It had been a very long time since
Nettle and I had gone fishing.
How? Like this?
Yes, I said. Or with a pole, or a net. Sometimes they spear
them, too, just as men do. Men fish more, but theres nothing
wrong with women fishing.
If you would tie your knife to your stick for me, I might be
able to spear some for us.
In the water? I shook my head. Youd start to bleed
again.
She made no reply, and she was a step too far from the firelight
for me to judge her expression.
Ill hunt tomorrow myself, I promised her. This time Ill
get something, or Babbie and I will.
What are those?
I had to rise to be certain that she was pointing toward shore.
She said, Those little lights? and I went up onto the foredeck
for a better view. The weather was calm, although not threateningly
so; and we were anchored some distance from the naked coast of
the mainland, Krait and I having been unable to find a protected
anchorage before shadelow. North along the coast so far that they
were practically out of sight were two or three, possibly four, scattered
points of reddish light. As I stood there shivering, one vanishedthen
reappeared.
Behind me Seawrack said, I thought the boy might have decided
to stay there, but there are too many.
I nodded, and returned to our own fire. To my very great surprise
and delight, she sat down beside me. Are you afraid of
them?
Of the people who built those fires? Not as much as I ought
to be, perhaps. Seawrack, it would be easier for me, a great deal
easier, if you were angry with me. If you hated me now.
She shook her head. Id like it if you hated me, Horn. Dont
you understand why I hid?
Because Id attacked you, and you were afraid I would hurt
you again, or even kill you.
She nodded solemnly.
Im sorrier than I can say. Ive been trying and trying to
think of some way I cancan at least show you how sorry I really
am.
She touched my hand and fixed me with her extraordinary eyes.
Never leave me.
I wanted to explain that I was a friend, not a lover. I wanted
to, I say, but how could I (or anybody) say that to a woman I had
forced that very day? I wanted to tell her, as I had several times
before, that I was married, and I wanted to explain all over again
what marriage means. I wanted to remind her that I was probably
twice her age. I wanted to say all those things, but I knew that I
loved her, and all the fine words stuck in my throat.
Later, when we lay side by side under the foredeck, she asked
me again, Dont you understand why I had to hide from you
today?
I thought that I did, but I had given my answer already; so I
asked, Why?
Because I made you and wouldnt let you.
You didnt make me, I told her.
Yes, I did, by singing. The song does that. Im trying to
forget it.
Your singing made me want you more than ever, but it didnt
make me do what I did. I surrendered to my own desire when I
should have resisted.
She was quiet so long that I had nearly fallen asleep when she
said, The underwater woman taught me to sing like that. I wish
I could forget her, too.
Your Mother? I asked.
She wasnt my mother.
The Mother. You called her that.
She wanted me to. I was on a big boat, and I remember a
woman who talked to me, and carried me sometimes. I think that
was my mother.
I nodded; then realizing that Seawrack could not see me said,
So do I.
After that, there was only the underwater woman. She doesnt
look like a woman unless she makes part of herself a woman.
I understand.
Shes another shape, very big. But she is one. She told me to
call her Mother, and I did. My real mother drowned, I think, and
the underwater woman ate her.
The sea goddess. Do you know her name?
No. If I ever did, Ive forgotten it, and Im glad. I
dont want to remember her anymore, and she doesnt want me to.
I do remember that much about her. Would you like me to sing for you
again?
No, I said, and meant it.
Then Im going to try to forget the song.
As I drifted into sleep, I heard (or believed I heard) her say,
...and forget the water and the underwater woman, and the
boats underwater with people in them. That was why I wouldnt
eat your fish. I dont want to eat fish or drowned meat, never any
more. Will the boy bring us back something to eat?
Perhaps I mumbled in reply. At this remove I cannot be sure.
I dont think so. Hell eat, and come back here with nothing.
Which was precisely correct.
I recall thinking, as I declined from consciousness into the first
deep sleep of the night, that Seawrack was forgetting the goddess
she had called the Mother because Krait (whom she herself called
the boy) intended to call her mother. That there
was a place for only one mother on my sloop, and it was to be Seawrack.
There was a place for only one wife, as well. With the eyes of
sleep I saw you, my poor Nettle, fading and fading, sinking into
the clear blue water like the hammer I used to keep on board until
I lost it over the side and watched it sink, weighed by its iron head
but buoyed by its wooden handle, smaller and smaller and dimmer
and dimmer as the waters closed around it forever. My love was like
a line tied to you then, a cord so thin as to be invisible, playing out
cubit after cubit and fathom after fathom until the time arrived
when I would haul you up again.
Have I insulted you? I do not blame you. You may blame me,
and the more you do the happier I will be. Let me say now, once
and for all, that I was not compelled by the song the sea goddess
had taught Seawrack. Was I inflamed? Yes, certainly. But not compelled.
I could have left. The inhumu would have seen my manhood
raised, and witnessed my agony, and would have derided me for
both whenever he thought his taunts would tell. But that would
have been nothing.
Or I might have clapped my hand over Seawracks mouth and
forced her to be silent. I would have been ashamed then, since I
had threatened to beat her if she would not sing for me; but I have
been ashamed many times of many things, and been no worse for
it afterward.
For this I was worse, as I am.
* *
Conjunction is past. It was as bad as I feared, and worse. (It is
still very bad.) Many of the inhumi came, and many have remained.
My servants close the shutters at sundown, and when they are asleep
I inspect every window in this palace myself to make sure they have
done it.
My bedroom has five windows north, six west, and five south.
I double-check every one of them before I get into bed, and lock
and bolt the only door, for fear of the inhumi and for fear of assassins,
too.
An inhumu drinks blood until his veins are full and his flesh is
nourished again; thus satisfied, he goes his way, like a tick that falls
off when it has drunk its fill; but there are men here where land is
free for the working who want land, and more and better land, and
others to work it for them, and they always believe that someone
elses land is better. They would crush the small farmers if I let
them.
I will not.
A lean young man with a long curved dagger was shot to death
in my garden last night. Awakened by the booming of the slug
guns, I went to view his body, and could not help thinking of Silk
climbing Bloods wall with the hatchet in his waistband. Had this
young man thought me as bad as Blood? If so, was he right? We
have the inhumi to prey on us, yet we prey upon one another.
I wasnt sleeping.
I knew why she had not slept, or thought I did. Youre frightened
and upset, and thats only natural. I dont suppose you want
to tell me about it; but if you do, Ill listen to whatever you have
to say without getting angry.
Im angry at myself, she muttered.
Then your anger is misdirected. You should be angry at me.
I am. For an instant (only an instant) I had heard Silks voice
issuing from my own mouth. I tried to prolong it, but»could not.
What would you like to tell me?
Nothing.
Then let me say a few things, and after that youll have a few
things of your own, I feel sure. I waited for her to object.
When she did not, I continued, First, the fault was mine, and
mine alone. It wasnt yours or anybody elses. There was no reason
for me to act as I did, and you resisted as fiercely as you could. You
have
I shouldnt have. It might have been a child, a small girl,
speaking. I hurt you. I know I did.
I hurt you a great deal more. It was so overwhelmingly true
that I found it impossible to go on.
I deserved it.
You did not. You never will. You are entitled to be furiously
angry with me. That was the second thing I was going to say, al-
though I said it already this afternoon. If you had killed me while
I slept, no one could have blamed you.
I would have blamed myself.
It occurred to me that you might before I fell asleep, and to
tell the truth I was hoping you would.
No! She shook her head violently enough for her hair to
brush my cheek.
Here is a third thing. I am a fool on a fools errand. Ive
been struggling to hide that from myself ever since I set out. To go to
the Long Sun Whorl and bring back the strains of corn we need,
and an eye for Maytera Marble, and so forth, is reasonable; but its
a task for a bold and able man of twenty, not for me. Ten or fifteen
years ago, I might have been adequate. Tonight Im worse than
inadequate. Im thoroughly ridiculous.
You went because you were afraid theyd want your wife to
go if you wouldnt, Seawrack reminded me. You told me about
that.
She might have done it, to. Shes brave and practical, with a
good level head in a crisis. I wont list my shortcomingsyou know
them already. Ill simply point out that thats not a description
of me.
But
I raised my voice. As for bringing Silk here, its less than a
dream; and I very much doubt that Marrow and the rest even want
me to do it. A trader named Wijzer told Marrow that to his face in
my hearing, and Wijzer was right. All their talk about bringing Silk
to New Viron was nothing more than a trick to get me to go. Or
to get Nettle to, if I wouldnt. A cheap and obvious trick that even
Hoof and Hide should have seen through.
Seawrack turned her head to whisper into my ear, so that I felt
the warm caress of her breath. You were right. I have things to
say too. Is that all right?
Go ahead.
When youre through. Youre going, in spite of all youve said.
I know you are.
I sighed; I could not help it. Ive told you Im a fool, and I
promised I would. That doesnt mean you have to come with me.
The lander in Pajarocu will probably explode as soon as they try to
get it to go fly. Everybody on it will be killed, and it would be
better if you werent one of us.
Is there more you want to say before we both go to sleep, or
is it my turn?
Im practically finished. Fourth and last, youre not a prisoner
on this sloop. I recalled Sciathan the Flier then, and what Silk had
said about him after Auk got him out of the Juzgado, and how
Nettle and I had re-created that speech in our book. You are my
guest, a guest whos been treated very badly. Youre free to leave
any timeright now, if you like. Or when we reach Pajarocu or
any other town.
I fell silent, and after a time she murmured, Are you waiting
for me to jump into the sea again, Horn?
Yes, I said.
Im not going to yet, and its my turn to talk. While you were
sleeping I was trying to forget. I,
I dont blame you.
Not what you think. I was trying to forget 4he water, and
everything I did in it. Every time I remembered something that
happened there, I would think of something thats happened since
Ive been with you, some little thing or something you said, and
put it there instead.
Can you do that? I was incredulous, as I still am.
Yes! she said fiercely. So could you.
It was not the time to express my doubts.
Thats the first thing I had to say, what Ive been doing. I
wasnt angry or afraid, the way that you think I was. I was remembering
and forgetting.
For half a dozen gentle rockings of the sloop, she said nothing
more.
The second thing is that Im one of you. Like you and the
boy, but I dont like him.
A human being.
Yes. I am a human woman. Arent there women who arent?
What does the Babbie have?
A female hus. Not a woman.
Well, a woman is what I am. Like your Nettle, or the Tamarind
you talk about sometimes. I am a woman, but I dont know
how to.
I tried to say that I would help her all I could, but it would be
much better if she had an actual woman to emulate. If Nettle were
with us, for example.
Im learning how from you.
Possibly there is something adequate that could be said in response
to that; but I could not think of it, nor can I now.
You said you were a fool on a foolish errand. (This was an
accusation.)
Its the truth.
Youre not a fool, and I can prove it. Then Im going to swim.
You said the people who sent you to bring this good man Silk dont
even want him. Didnt you just tell me that?
Yes. I said it because I know it to be true. I believe Ive known
it ever since I set out, but I couldnt bring myself to admit it to
anyone, not even to myself.
All right. They really dont want him. I think theyd say something
else if they were here, but I wont argue about it. They dont
want him.
Thinking wistfully of Patera Silk, I nodded and grunted my
assent.
But Im going to ask you just one thing, and you have to
answer me. Do you promise?
I nodded in the dark. I will if I can. Did you say a moment
ago that you were going to swim? Did you mean tonight,
Seawrack?
She ignored my questions. Heres how I prove. You have to
tell me honestly. Do they need him?
I opened my mouth to say no, but closed it again without
speaking.
Do they? You promised.
I know I did. I was recalling our dreams for this fair new
whorl, and contrasting them with the realities of the past twenty years.
Yes. Yes, Im sure they do. But Seawrack, you mustnt swim.
Certainly not at night, and not even during the day until youve
had time to heal.
She rolled on her side, her back to me. I lay upon my own,
feeling the easy motion of the sloop and, whenever I opened my
eyes, seeing a scatting of bright, cold stars along the horizon. If she
needed to forget a great deal, I needed to remember even more,
and to think about it all as honestly as I could. And I did, or tried
to at least.
An hour later, perhaps, she murmured, Im hungry, Horn.
Will you get us something to eat tomorrow? Not fish.
Yes, I promised. Certainly. I will if I can.
I had not realized that Babbie was near us, but he gave a little
snuffle of contentment as I spoke, and lay down at my feet.
When I woke at shadeup, he was still there; but Seawrack had gone.
* *
Back to the events I have resolved to record.
Krait returned, although Seawrack did not. After a long and no
doubt somewhat dishonest account of his adventures ashore (he was
full of blood and full of himself as well) I explained the situation.
The acrimonious quarrel I had expected followed, and he left again.
That was midmorning, perhaps, or a little earlier.
It would be easyand pleasant as wellto pass over the day
that followed in silence. It was not nearly as easy or pleasant to pass
it as I did. I had plenty of water, but no food at all. My conscience
urged me to pull up the anchor and proceed to Pajarocuor at
least to proceed to search for it; but I could not bring myself to do
it. Babbie swam ashore to forage for food, I think finding little or
nothing. I remained on the sloop, cold and hungry. My fishing lines
caught nothing, and indeed I had no proper bait. (One hook was
baited with a knotted scrap of sailcloth, I remember.) I spent hours
looking over the side with my new harpoon in my hand. I believe
that in the whole time I glimpsed one small fish, which vanished
before I could throw.
About shadelow, a fat bluebilly leaped on board. Seawrack was
back, and I knew it. I put a line through its gills and put it back
into the water, built a fire in my box of sand in record time, pulled
the bluebilly back up and cleaned it, and soon had it sizzling in our
largest pan.
She climbed in about then, and I thanked her.
You got nothing with your hunting. I knew she was tired
from the sound of her voice.
I shook my head and ventured to ask how she knew that,
though no doubt a glance at my face would have made it plain to
anyone.
If you had shot something you wouldnt watch the sea with
the spear for fish. Where is the Babbie?
I explained that I had not gone ashore to hunt in spite of my
promise, that Krait had declined to remain with the sloop, and that
I had not dared leave it in a completely unprotected anchorage with no one
on board. Ill hunt tomorrow, I told her, but you must
remain here, and put out to sea if theres even the slightest chance
of bad weather.
She shrugged, and I knew there would be an argument next day.
Ill eat a piece of that. Can I? I know I said I wouldnt,
but I will.
When we had finished our meal, she asked me to hold out my
hand. I did, and she slipped a ring on it. The mounting was white
gold, I believesome silvery metal that did not tarnish as plain
silver would have. The stone was white and dull, scratched and very
old.
You have given me a ring, Seawrack said, and now I am
giving you one. Her little handthe only one she hadhad
slipped into mine. You must wear it, because you might fall in the
pit again.
She kissed me, but would not explain. At the time, I had no
idea what that ring was (although I would soon find out), and
certainly would never have guessed that it would sornpday save my
life in a ruined lander on Green, as it did.
11
THE LAND OF FIRES
After that, I climbed the biggest dune I could find to study the
wide, flat expanse of sand and dark green, tangled brush. It did not
look promising; but I reminded myself that the majestic trees of the
island had produced no game at all, while we had shot at a green-buck
in the ruins, which had not appeared any more promising than
this.
Some minutes passed before it struck me that I was actually
standing on what I myself had named Shadelowthat for the first
time ever my feet were solidly planted on the unknown western
continent upon which Pajarocu and its working lander waited. Behind
me to the south lay the sea, and to eastward I could see the
sea as well. Far to the north, too, I could just make out the gleam
of it, or thought I could. But to the west the land widened, rising
so much that I was reminded of home, where the distant lands to
north and south bend up around the sun and at last close over ones
head to become the majestic skylands.
At my elbow Krait drawled, Its a big country.
With more conviction than I felt, I told him that we would find
Pajarocu in it, and soon.
He shrugged. Ill help as much as I can.
Then I feel sure you must have found out something of value
last night.
No. The wind whipped his loose clothing and he trembled,
looking at least as cold as I felt.
But you fed again. You said so at some length when you came
back, and marveled that a place with so few people could provide
such good hunting. Didnt you have a chance to talk to anybody?
Youd like it better if I starved.
I would not be diverted into a quarrel. You found someone
here. Human beings from whom you fed.
Not here I didnt. Up there, farther in. He pointed westward.
Didnt you ask them about Pajarocu? You must have. What
did they say?
He shook his head. I had no opportunity to ask anybody anything.
They were all asleep.
Good, I said.
Yes, she was. He grinned, though without displaying his
fangs.
Behind us, from the foot of the dune on which we stood, Seawrack
called, Arent you going to hunt?
In a moment! I told her. Im going to go down the
other side!
Well meet you there!
I turned back to Krait. I want you to stay here and protect
the sloop. Will you do that?
Gladly, if youll tell me why you were happy that I hadnt
asked for directions.
Because I was warned that people friendly to the town would
mislead us if we asked where it was. These people dont like
strangers, even when theyre human.
Krait grinned again, stroking the chin he had shaped for himself
that morning. And one of us isnt.
It was my turn to shrug. A detail.
I agree, Father. Were every bit as human as you are, whatever
that means. Dont you want to know where the humans I found
are?
I want to know a good deal more. I tried to study his face,
and turned away from its glittering eyes. If he chose to deceive me,
there was nothing I could do about it. But that will do to start
with. Where are they?
He pointed west again. See that notch in the mountains?
I nodded. It was ten leagues at least.
A little river runs through there, coming pretty well straight
toward us. If you look carefully, you can see the sun on it through
the trees here and there.
I tried, but my eyes were not as sharp as his.
They have a lean-to on the bank, down where the land flattens
out and the water slows down.
Thank you, I said. Can you tell me where the river goes
after that?
He shook his head. Sinks into the ground, maybe. Its pretty
sandy all around here. But I dont know, and it might reach the
sea. I didnt follow it.
Were going to hunt here, for greenbucks or whatever we can
find that can be shot and eaten. What do you think of our chances?
He hesitated, scanning the monotonous expanse of thickly
spaced bushes and scrubby trees just as I had earlier. Not much,
but I could be wrong.
Did you see any game?
He shook his head again.
What did you see? I mean here, where we are now.
Trees, mostly. Before I could stop him, he had started down
the dune toward the sloop. I watched him for a moment or two,
then clambered and slid down the other side, reaching the bottom
just in time to meet Seawrack and Babbie, who had walked around
the end.
I was going to climb up there after you, she said, but it
hurt my feet, and our Babbie sank down in it. Sand thats full of
sharp little rocks belongs under the water. Could you see much
from up there?
All sorts of things, I told her, meaning more than the mere
geography I had observed. Some of which I dont want to talk
about. Not yet, at least.
I scratched my beard. Seawrack, I plan to hunt due west,
which will mean well be walking almost parallel to the shore for a
long way, but tend gradually inland. The nearer to the mountains
we get, the better the hunting is likely to be. Do you still want to
come?
She nodded, and we set out.
Did he kill something?
That called for a flat lie, and I supplied it, saying that in spite
of his boasts I thought that he had really eaten raw shellfish.
We started off again, but had not walked far when Seawrack
asked whether Krait had met any of the people who had built the
fires we had seen the first night. I replied that I believed he had,
but that he had been unwilling to tell me anything about them.
Arent you willing to tell me either? She was following me
as we made our way through the tangled trees, but apparently my
voice had been all the clue she needed.
Im willing, because Im very worried about you as well as
worried about us both. I dont quite know how to go about it,
however, because I dont actually know anything about this part of
the whorl and its people. Everything I might confide is guesswork.
Then tell me your guesses. It was a demand; and Babbie,
who had been ranging ahead of us, stopped and looked back at us,
ears spread.
I took a deep breath, more than half certain that Seawrack knew
more about the fires and their builders than I did. To start with,
I dont believe they were human beings.
But youre not sure.
No, Im not. Krait said he met some people along this river
Id like to find, a good long way from here. According to his account,
he must have gotten pretty far inland. Whqever built the
fires would have been much nearer.
Didnt he see them?
I dont know, I told Seawrack. He didnt want to
say. If youd like my guess, I think he knew who or what they were and
avoided them. She would have questioned me further if I had
allowed it, but I told her that our noise would frighten the game,
if there was any, and that she would have to be quiet or wait on
the sloop with Krait.
About noon (squinting up at the sun every chance I got kept
me very conscious of the passage of time) we struck the little river
and stopped to drink. Its water was clean and cold and good. Seawrack
asked, Are we going to follow this now? and I told her
we were.
You want to find the people the boy found?
If I can. I had stopped drinking and was taking off my boots.
For me the easiest way will probably be to wade through the
shallows.
I waited for her to speak, but she did not.
Are you going to do that too, instead of swimming?
She nodded.
Therell be less brush for me to deal with. I had been forced
to cut our way with Sinews knife in half a dozen places. And if I
try to hike through the brush next to it, Im liable to lose it every
chain or two. The people that Krait met lived alongside it, he said.
If I lose it and find it again upstream of their camp, Ill miss them
completely.
She nodded again. Maybe theyll give us something to eat.
Exactly. We need food, more clothing and blankets, or even
hides. Something to keep us warm. Boots or shoes for you, if we
can get them.
I stood up, and stepped into the river, finding the water that
had been so refreshing unpleasantly cold, and pulled off my tunic.
This is something I should have done as soon as you swam out to the
sloop, I said. Here, take it. Put it on, and please dont
argue with me.
She began to protest, but fell silent when she saw that she was
only making me angry. Women in New Viron never let strangers
look at their breasts, I explained. Allowing it would be like sing-
ing that song youre trying to forget. Do you understand?
In a whisper so soft I could scarcely hear her, she said, Youre
not a stranger.
I know, and there are exceptions. This is best, just the same.
Put it on.
Youll be cold. I was.
I told her that I had been getting chilled anyway when I was
wearing my tunic, which was not particularly warm. After that, we
waded upstream for two or three leagues before the water became
so frigid that we had to get out and try to trace the river from one
side after all.
Shadelow (I still have no other name by which to call it) is a
colder continent than ours, from what I saw of it. Even places we
would consider southern are colder than New Viron, and much
colder than this town of Gaon. I would think that it must be due
to the western winds, or to unfavorable currents in the sea.
* *
The girl had been Kraits victim. She lay on her back beside
their fire, deathly pale beneath her deep tan and only occasionally
opening her eyes; I do not believe she spoke the whole time we
were there. Remembering what Silk had told me about Teasel, and
what Teasel herself had told Nettle and me later, I tried to show
her mother by signs that she should be kept very warm and given
a great deal of water, at last fetching a soft greenbuck skin myself and
covering her with it. The boy wasor rather, seemed to bemore
intelligent, bringing water in a gourd as soon as I pointed to
his sister and pretended to drink from my hand.
Soon the father returned carrying two big gray-and-red birds
he had killed with arrows. He proved to speak the Common
Tongue fairly well, and asked us many questions about Babbie,
having never seen a hus before. When I told him that Babbie could
understand what we were saying, he explained (with some difficulty,
but very earnestly) that it was true of every animal. He listen. No
talk. Sometimes talk. Long time the shearbear, he talk me.
It was an animal I had never heard of; I asked him what the
shearbear had said.
He shook his head. No tell.
Change blood, his wife explained, making Seawrack blink
with surprise.
That sounded as if it might be significant, so I asked her
about it.
He-pen-sheep cut arm, shearbear cut same. She crossed her
arms to illustrate the mingling of their blood, then pointed upward.
Her husband and son pointed upward as well, he with his bow and
the boy with his fishing spear. I pointed upward with my slug gun,
and they nodded approval, at which Seawrack too pointed upward
as the woman had.
They invited us to join their meal, and we accepted eagerly.
After we ate, I traded two silver pins for a soft skin smaller than the
one with which I had covered their daughter, saying that I was cold.
He-pen-sheep (who was naked to the waist himself) cut a slit
in the middle of it for my head and cut away a long, thin strip that
he tied around my waist as one would tie a trouser cord, making a
rough but warm leather tunic with half sleeves of the skin. You
stay, he urged me. She-pick-berry make together for you.
Neither Seawrack nor I understood make together, so he
brought out a pair of beautifully made hide boots and pointed out
the stitching. Too eagerly, perhaps, I offered them a silver necklace
if She-pick-berry would make a pair for Seawrack, since the pair that
he had shown us would have been much too large for her. After
some discussion we agreed that the boots could be undecorated,
and I offered another pin in addition to the necklace.
She-pick-berry then made the boots in something less than an
hour, folding and cutting soft leather around Seawracks feet,
punching holes in it with one of the pins she had gotten from me
already, and sewing it quickly with a big bone needle. They were
very simple in construction, one piece forming the sides and the
sole, another the front and top, and a third the back.
Pretending ignorance, I asked He-pen-sheep what had happened
to his daughter.
Inhumu bite. He indicated the inner part of his own thigh.
Seawrack told him that an inhumu had bitten Babbie some days
ago, although it had not attacked us.
He nodded solemnly. Afraid Neighbor-man. When I asked
what a Neighbor-man was, he laughed and pointed to the ring
Seawrack had given me. You Neighbor-man.
Many Neighbor here, his wife told Seawrack. She paused to
moisten the sinew with which she sewed, running it through her
mouth. Build many fire. Neighbor-man, she pointed to me,
come, talk Neighbor.
I indicated the wilderness of sand and scrub through which we
had walked for most of the day. Are there many Neighbors down
there?
Without looking up from her sewing, she nodded emphatically.
Many Neighbor. Many fire.
Her son displayed both palms. No kill Neighbor.
His father laughed again. He no kill. Change blood Neighbor,
to which he added what seemed to be several sentences in a
tongue that I had never heard before.
Neighbor kill you? I suggested.
He shook his head. Kill inhumu.
By that time the Short Sun had set; She-pick-berry was finishing
her sewing by firelight. The ground had begun to rise here; the soil
was darker and not so sandy, and the trees much taller. I climbed
a likely-looking one, gaining enough height to see that the fires
Seawrack and I had watched two nights before had been re-kindled,
and were more numerous if anything. It seemed strange that we
had not come across the ashes of one at least during our long hike
through the scrub. For some time I stood upon a convenient limb,
surveying them and speculating, before I climbed down again.
* *
Seawrack, as I ought to mention here, went to sleep at once;
but hers was a troubled slumber, in which she trembled and
twitched without waking, and sometimes spoke. I could not understand
most of what she said, which seemed to me to be in several
rather different languages. Once I thought she was cajoling someone
or something; and once I overheard her say quite distinctly:
Yes, Mother! Im coming, Mother! After a time, it
occurred to me that she might begin to sing in her sleep, crooning the song
I had heard when she sat naked on the wave-swept rocks; when it did, I
got to my feet without waking her, as I had intended all along.
The night was silent, cold, and clear. I made sure of Sinews
hunting knife and picked up my slug gun, then scanned the sky for
Kraitas everyone knows, inhumi are prone to return to places in
which they have been successful. He was not to be seen, only the
bright stars, very cold and far, and baleful Green low upon the
eastern horizon.
The scrub trees of the peninsula had been troublesome by day;
now they were nightmarish, raking my face with spiky limbs the
moment I ceased to guard it with my hand or the slug gun. Every
so often I was obliged to stop and chop my way through some
tangle by touch alone; it must have taken me a full two hours to
travel half a league.
At one point I stopped and looked behind me, footsore, exhausted,
and sorely tempted to return to the fire and lie down again,
and was irrationally cheered to find that it was still in sight, although
it looked as remote as the stars. Save for Pig, Patera Silk and you,
Nettle, I have seldom found a lot to love about my fellow human
beings, even when I liked them; but at that moment I must have
felt the way that Silk himself habitually did. The chill wind, the
twisted, useless little trees, and the impoverished soil I trod were
hostile, foreign things scarcely better than Krait and possibly worse.
We six had faced them in the day now past and would face them
again in the day to come; and it was our glory that we faced them
together.
The feeling faded as soon as I turned my eyes away, but it has
never disappeared completely. It is good to live as I do here: in a
palace, with important work to do and plenty to eat. It is goodbut
those who live as I do here cannot ever know the feeling I
experienced that night in the scrub when I looked back up the slope
and saw the lonely scarlet glow that was She-pick-berrys humble
fire. There are worse things for the spirit, Nettle, than fatigue and
sore feet, a little hunger and a little cold.
* *
It didnt like me, he said. As soon as I came in,
I had to go back out.
The others laughed at that, and I asked Barsat why he had gone
inside at all, which may not have been an altogether fair question
since we had gone in as a matter of course.
I was hoping to find something I could sell, he told me
frankly. Was that wrong, Rajan?
I shook my head.
They can afford to laugh. He shot Hari Mau and his three
friends a glance compounded of envy and admiration. We poor
men like to laugh too, but we dont have much to laugh about.
I began to explain that I was almost as poor as he, that my
palace belonged to the town, which could tell me to leave whenever
it wished, and so on; but before I could finish, we heard a single
clear note sounded in another room. It was as though a bell had
been struck.
Going to investigate, I discovered this chalice (at any rate, it is
an object that seems more or less like a cup), which appears to be
of silver or some shining alloy. It was standing on the only section
of clear floor that I saw in the whole place, looking for all the whorl
as if it had been set down there a moment before. I picked it up
and tried to give it to Barsat. He reached for it but would not take
it, although he hunted very industriously through the litter of leaves
and twigs for something else.
My point, such as it is, is that I could not feel the happiness of
the house, assuming it existedas I believe it did. Nor could I feel
any such emotion in the ruins on the island, the place where I fell
into the pit through my eagerness to run down the greenback. Nor
did I receive any gift at all there, save Kraits rescue.
* *
The tall, shadowed figure before me said, Get up. To which
I replied, Im sorry. I didnt mean any harm. Those are the exact
words that he spoke, and the exact words with which I answered
him. Everything the Neighbors said to me, and every reply I made,
has remained in my memory from that night to this, as fresh as
though it had been said only a few seconds ago. I do not know
why this should be true, but I know that it is.
As for the reason I answered as I did, I can only say that upon
awakening (if I had in fact been sleeping as sleep is generally
accounted) I felt in a confused fashion that I had been trespassing,
that this flat land with its covering of scrub was his, and that he
might be understandably angry at finding I had ventured on it.
Come with me, he said, and he helped me to stand up,
grasping both my hands while lifting me under the arms. I ought
to remember how his hands felt, I am surebut I do not. My mind
was on other things, perhaps.
He strode off through the trees, then turned to me and took
my hand again to make certain that I was following him. I trotted
after him, and in that way we walked some considerable distance,
he always a stride in advance. I am what is ordinarily called a tall
man now, and I believe that I must be about as tall as Silk was
when you and I were young; but the Neighbor was a good deal
taller, and a great deal taller than I was then, taller even than
Hammerstone, though far more slender.
I trotted, as I have already written, because I could not keep
pace with the Neighbors four long legs by walking. But the
branches of the twisted trees no longer raked my face, and I am
quite certain that there was no place where I was forced to get out
Sinews knife and cut my way through. If there were anything in
the whorl that could have convinced me that the entire episode was
a dream, it would be that. It was not a dream however. I knew even
then (exactly as I know now) that it was nothing of the kind.
I had hurried after the tall figure of the Neighbor so promptly
that I had left my slug gun dangling from the low limb on which
I had hung it, but I do not believe I was conscious of that at the
time. I would not have been greatly disturbed, I think, if I had
been.
By the time we reached their fire, I was panting and sweating
despite the cold. There were more shadowy figures seated around
it; they wore dark cloaks (or so it seemed to me at the time) and
soft-looking hats with wide brims and low crowns. Most were sitting
upright, but one lay at full length. He may have been dead; I
do not believe he spoke or moved while I was there, and it is
conceivable that he was not one of them at all but a fallen log or
something of the sort, and that I only imagined that there was a
sixth or a seventh who was lying down. If this sounds impossibly
vague, you must understand that the fire did not illuminate him,
or them, in the way I would have expected.
Do you know who we are? the shadowed figure who had
come for me asked.
I replied, My friend He-pen-sheep calls you his Neighbors.
One of the seated Neighbors inquired, Who and what do you
yourself think we are?
I said, Im from New Viron, a town on the eastern shore of
the sea, and I believe that youre the Vanished People. I mean, I
believe that youre some of the people we call the Vanished People
in New Viron.
Another said, Then you must tell us who the Vanished People
are. All this was in the Common Tongue.
You are the people whose whorl this was before our landers came to
it, I said. No one replied, so I continued, fumbling now and then as
I tried to find the right words. The Whorl up there,
I pointed, that was our whorl. This whorl, which we call Blue
now, was your whorl. But we thought something hadhad happened
to you, because we never see you. Sometimes we find things
you made, like that place on the island to the south, though I never
did until I found that one. My son Sinew says that he and some
other young men found an altar of yours in the forest, a stone table
on which you used to sacrifice to the gods of this whorl.
I waited for one of them to speak.
Since you havent really vanished at all, wereIm very glad
that youve let me live here with my family. Thank you. Thank you
very much.
They said nothing, and after a while the one who had brought
me to their fire indicated by a gesture, a motion of his fingers as if
he were drawing words from my mouth, that I should go on talking.
I said, Im seeing you here tonight, I realize that, and Im
happy that you gave me this chance to express my gratitude. But
Ive never seen any of you before in twenty years, and most of us
think that youre all dead. Ill try to tell them thats a mistake when
I get back home.
As I spoke, I was reminded of Patera Remoras long, foolish
face, and the dark and dusty little sellaria in which we had con-
versed, and I said, I think perhaps our Prolocutor has seen you.
He seems to know something, anyway. I hadnt realized it until
now.
They remained silent.
I said, We think your gods are still here. To tell the truth,
were afraid that they are. Ive encountered one myself, your sea
goddess. I dont know what you call her. As I spoke I looked from
shadowy face to shadowy face. That was when I realized that they
were not made even slightly more visible by the fire. The fire was
there. I could see its light on my hands and feel its heat on my
cheeks. I do not doubt that its light was shining on my face, as
firelight always does; but it did not light them.
Lamely I finished, Seawrack calls her the Mother. I mean the
girlthe young lady that I call Seawrack. I mean, she used to.
The Neighbor to my left said, That is one of her names. He
had not spoken before.
Were here now, I said, we human men and women and
children who came out of the Whorl.
All of them nodded.
And were taking your whorl, or trying to. I dont blame you
for being angry with us for that, but our gods are driving us out,
and we have no place else to go. Except for me, I mean. Im trying
to get back to the Whorl, but not to stay. To bring back Patera
Silk. Would you like me to tell you who Patera Silk is?
The Neighbor who had awakened me said, No. Someone you
care about.
I nodded.
Most of what you have said, we might say. This whorl of yours
was ours. We, the remnant of our race, have abandoned it, giving
it to no one and making no provision to keep it for ourselves. We
found a way to leave and we left, seeking a new and a better home.
He turned from me, his face lifted to the western stars. Some
of you call the place where we are the Neighbor Whorl. It does not
matter what we call it, or what we once called this one. This whorl
is yours now. It is called Blue. It belongs to your race.
I stammered my thanks. I could set down everything I said,
but there is really no way to describe how clumsily and haltingly I
said it.
We have brought you here as the representative of your race,
he told me when I had finished. You, here tonight, must speak
for all of you. We have a question to ask. We cannot make you
answer it, and if we could we would not. You will oblige us greatly
by answering, even so. You say that you are grateful to us.
For a whorl? For Blue? Its a godlike gift, like Pas giving us
the Whorl. In a hundred years we couldnt repay you. Or a thousand.
Never.
You can. You yourself can repay us tonight, simply by answering.
Will you?
I said, Ill try. I will if I can. What is the question?
He looked around at the others. All those sitting upright nod-
ded, I believe, although I cannot be sure. Let me remind you
again, the Neighbor who had brought me to their fire said, that
you will speak for your entire race. Every man of your blood. Every
woman, and every child.
I understand.
I chose you, and I did so because I hoped to incline your
races judgment in our favor by choosing someone apt to be well
disposed toward us. By a trifling gesture he indicated the ring that
Seawrack had given me before we left the sloop. If you wish to
hold my choosing such a person against us, there is nothing to
prevent you.
I said, Certainly not.
Thank you. Here is our question. Nearly all of us have abandoned
this whorl, as I told you. Tonight we give it to you who call
yourselves human, as I have also told you. Do you humans, the new
possessors, object to our visiting it from time to time, as we are
doing tonight?
Absolutely not, I said. Realizing that the words I had used
could be understood in a sense opposite to the one that I intended,
I added, We have no objection whatsoever.
From this whorl we sprang. You spoke of a hundred years,
and of a thousand. There are rocks and rivers, trees and islands here
that have been famous among us for many thousands of years. This
is one such place. I ask you again, may we visit it, and the others?
Trying to sound formal, I responded, Come whenever you
wish to, and stay for as long as you wish. Our whorl is your whorl.
I ask a third time, and I will not ask again. You must answer
for all your human kind. Guests are frequently awkward, embarrassing,
and inconvenient. Your ways are not ours, and ours are not
yours. They must often seem foreign, barbaric, and irrational to
you. May we come?
I hesitated, suddenly fearful. Will you come as the inhumi do,
to do us harm?
There was stir among those seated around the fire. I could not
be certain whether it was of amusement or disgust. No, the
Neighbor who had brought me said, We will not come to do you
harm, and we will help you against the inhumi when it lies in our
power. The rest nodded.
I swallowed, although my mouth was as dry as my knees. You
are welcome. I know Ive said it already, but I dont know how else
toall I can do is repeat it. You may visit this whorl you have given
us whenever you want to, and go back to your own whorl whenever
you want to, freely. I say that for every human man and every human
woman, and even for our children, as humanitys representative.
They relaxed. I know how strange it will be for you to read
this, Nettle darling, but they did. It was not anything I saw or
heard; I could feel the tension drain away. They seemed a little
smaller then, and perhaps they were. I still could not see their faces
clearly, but they were not so deeply shadowed as they had been; it
was as though they had been wearing veils I could not see, and they
had drawn them back.
The Neighbor who had brought me stood up, and I did, too. You spoke
of a companion, he said, and he sounded almost casual.
Seawrack, you named her. You did not give us your own
name, you who have been every being of your kind.
My name is Horn. I offered him my hand.
He took it, and this time I felt his hand and remembered it. It was
hard, and seemed to be covered with short, stiff hairs. Beyond that I
will not say. My name is Horn also, he told me. I felt that I was be-
ing paid an immense compliment, and did not know how to reply.
He pointed. He was tall, as I have said, but all his arms were
too long even for someone as tall as he was. Are you going back
to your companion? To the fire where she and others lie sleeping?
She-pick-berrys little fire seemed very near when he pointed it out.
I was hunting, I told him, and I left my slug gun hanging
on a tree. Ill have to get it first.
There it is.
Looking where he pointed, I glimpsed it through the trees, and
saw the red reflection of the flames in its polished and oiled steel.
It seemed much too near to be mine, but I went to get it anyway,
took it down from the broken limb upon which I had hung it, and
slung it behind my right shoulder as I usually did. When I turned
to wave to him and the others, they were not there.
Nettle, I know that you are going to think it was a dream, not
so very different from the dream of you I had when I was in the
pit, the dream in which you brought me a dipper of water. It was
not. It seemed dreamlike at times, I admit; but I have had a great
many dreams, as everyone has, and this was not one of them.
* *
After two or three hours of this mazed wandering I realized
that I ought to have been exhausted, but I was noj even slightly
tired. I was thirsty and ravenously hungry, so hungry that my teeth
seemed as sharp as knives; but I was not fatigued, or footsore in
the least.
Just about then I heard a twig snap, and the rattling and rustling
of a big animal in the scrub. I had just warning enough to
unsling my slug gun and push down the safety when Babbie snuffled,
and I felt the familiar, waist-high probing of his soft snout. It
was the second time I had nearly shot him, and it struck me as very
funny, like one of those stories the men who sell us wood tell, in
which some ridiculous situation occurs and recurs. I dropped to
one knee, still laughing, rubbed Babbies ears, and told him that I
was very glad indeed to see him, as I was.
When I looked up, there was something looming above us so
enormous and so dark that in that moment it seemed larger than a
thunderhead. I remember (I shall never forget) seeing its long
curved horns among the massed stars, and feeling that they were
actually there, that when the beast moved they would extinguish
stars as they might have poked out eyes. In another moment they
vanished as it lowered its head to charge. I fired over Babbies back,
and pumped the action faster than I would have thought possible,
the opening and shutting of the bolt a single sound like the slamming
of a door, fired again without bringing the butt to my shoulder
properly, and was knocked over in literal earnest, knocked
sprawling amid the sand and roots. I remember the angry rattle of
Babbies tusks, and picking up the slug gun again and jerking the
trigger without any idea whether it was pointed at the beast, at
Babbie, or at my own foot, and wondering why it did not fire, too
dazed to realize that I had not chambered a fresh round.
All that lasted only a second or two, I believe. I climbed to my
feet and pumped the action again; and then, seeing nothing and
hearing nothing except Babbie, pushed on the safety. You will
accuse me of exaggeration, dearest Nettle, I know. But I actually
tripped over one of the immense horns before I knew that the huge
beast lay there. I nearly fell again, and would perhaps have fallen
myself if I had not caught myself upon its fallen shoulder.
I had to explore it then with my hands, because it was black
and lay in pitch blackness under those closely packed trees, none of
which were much above five cubits high but all of which were still
in full leaf in spite of the cold. I do not know what they are called,
but their leaves are hard, thick, pointed, and deep green, not much
longer than the second joint of my forefinger.
It was enormous, that beast, and I was still trying to grasp just
how enormous it was when He-pen-sheep and his son burst out of
the scrub, howling like a couple of hounds in their exultation.
Breakbull, they said over and over. You kill breakbull, Horn.
The son cut off the tail and tied it to my thong belt; it made me
feel a complete fool, but that is their custom and I could not have
taken it off or even implied that it was unwelcome without offending
them. I thought then about what that other Horn had said
concerning the customs of his race, and wondered what I had let
us in for. Our own differ greatly from one town to the next, as
everyone knows. Those of another race (I thought) must be very
peculiar indeed. As they are.
He-pen-sheep and his son skinned the breakbull in the dark
with a little not very valuable help from me. I cut off a haunch, and
tried to shoulder it without getting too much blood on the slug
gun (which I had hung across my back with the butt up), at which
I was not very successful. The two of them carried the skin back to
their lean-to, and it was so heavy that the son fell once under its
weight and was deeply shamed by it. As for me, I brought back ten
times more meat than was needed to feed all seven of us. I say seven
because Babbie ate at least as much as the hungriest, who was without
a doubt your loving husband.
I have been tempted to omit this next observation, and have
already pushed my account past it; but whether it fits here or not,
I am going to tell you something very strange. On the way back to
He-pen-sheeps camp, he and his son often had a.good deal of
difficulty working their huge roll of hide through the tangle of scrub
that had obstructed me so often. I, who stood taller than either of
them and had the massive haunch (it must have weighed as much
as the twins) over my shoulder, should have been at least as
inconvenienced by the angular, wind-twisted trees.
But I was not. My face and arms, which were already a mass of
scratches from their limbs, were never scratched again. Although
the haunch I carried was brushed now and again by leaves, it was
never caught, not even momentarily. I cannot explain this. The
limbs certainly did not move aside for me. The sky was gray by the
time we were finished skinning the breakbull, and I would certainly
have seen them if they had, and heard them, too. I can only say
that it seemed to me that no matter in which direction I looked, I
could see a clear path for me and my burden. And when I went
forward, that was what it proved to be.
We reached camp about sunrise. She-pick-berry leaped up
shouting and woke her sick daughter and Seawrack, which neither
appeared to mind. We ate, and although all of us ate a great deal I
am sure I ate the most of all, so much that He-pen-sheep was open
in his astonishment and admiration. Even the daughter, who had
been so ill the evening before, ate as much as would make a good
big serving on one of our big dinner plates back on Lizard.
Afterward, She-pick-berry showed us how she would smoke the
rest, making a sort of rack for thin strips of meat out of green twigs.
We agreed that He-pen-sheep and his son would help Seawrack and
me by bringing as much meat as they could carry to the sloop. In
it return, they would receive the hide (which She-pick-berry was
already scraping by the time we left their camp) and the remainder
of the breakbull.
Escorted by Babbie, we four returned to the carcass, cut loads
of meat, and made our way through the scrub to the sea, striking
the beach only a short walk from the sloop. Krait was aboard and
greeted our arrival with ill-natured sarcasm, twitting Seawrack and
me for being as bloody as inhumi and laughing inordinately at his
own witticisms. Before we realized that Patera Quetzal had been an
inhumu, Nettle, I would have thought that a sense of humor was
an exclusively human possession. Associating with Krait made me
wish more than once that it were so; he had an overdeveloped sense
of humor, and as ugly a one as I have ever met with in all my travels.
Since then I have learned that the Neighbors, who treated me with
so much solemnity that night, are notorious for theirs.
When He-pen-sheep and his son had helped us get the sloop
back into the water, and had waded out to her with the loads of
meat that they had brought and washed themselves in the sea, he
drew me aside. Indicating Krait with a jerk of his head, he told me,
No like, and I acknowledged that I did not like him either.
You beat, Horn?
I shook my head.
Big beat, he advised me. Then, You talk Neighbor?
I nodded.
What say?
I considered. At no time had the other Horn or any other
Neighbor asked me to keep our conversation confidential, or put me under any
sort of oath. We changed blood, I told He-pen-sheep.
I, I touched my chest, for you and all the other men,
and for all the women and all the children, too. The Neighbor for
all the Neighbors.
He-pen-sheep stared at me intently.
Because I spoke for you, I can tell you what we said. We
agreed that where men are, Neighbors can come as well. I waved
my arm at the horizon, indicating (I hope) that I intended the
whole whorl. They can visit us in peace and friendship.
Big good! He nodded enthusiastically.
I think so too, I told him. I really do.
As we hauled up the sails, he and his son waved farewell to us
from the beach, and when we had so much sea-room that I could
no longer distinguish one from the other, I could still hear them
calling, You kill breakbull, Horn!
* *
When we left He-pen-sheep and his son on the beach, I supposed
that we would never see them again. That was not the case.
In justice to them I ought to tell you here, since I neglected to do
it last night, that when we had gone back to the breakbulls carcass
I had been much taken with its horns, all four longer than the
blades of swords, sharp, black-tipped, elaborately grooved, and
cruelly curved. After examining and admiring them, I had asked
He-pen-sheep what he was going to do with them, and he had
explained to me all of the many uses to which horn can be put,
things that I ought to have learned long ago, since I am named for
that substance.
Krait, Babbie, and I were more than sufficient to work the sloop
under the light airs that were all we were granted even when we
were well out to sea, so Seawrack set out to smoke as much of the
meat as she could. She had prepared for the task by cutting a good
supply of green shoots before we put out, and she trimmed them
and fitted them together with her one hand as cleverly as She-pick-berry
had with two; but our firewood was soon exhausted. As a
result, Krait and I went ashore again before we rounded the point
of the big sandspit I have called the Land of Fires and collected
more.
(It was then, I believe, when I found myself yet again trying to
cut wood with Sinews knife, that I resolved once and for all that I
would acquire an axe or a hatchet at the first opportunity, or at
least a bigger, heavier knife, if no axe or hatchet was available.)
By the time we had gathered as much dry wood as we could
find without ranging far inland and loaded it into the sloop, wading
out with bundles of it held clear of the water, the Short Sun was
slipping away behind the distant peaks, and even Krait (who had
done next to nothing) said that he was tired. Seawrack and I were
close to exhaustion.
There was no good anchorage along that very exposed stretch
of the coast, and no place suited to beaching, but I decided to
remain where we were until morning. Since the weather had been
good and was not actually threatening even then, I judged the
danger to be less than that of sailing an unknown shore by night. I
took Krait aside and warned him that He-pen-sheep and his son
had been suspicious of him, which I believe he knew already, and
suggested that he go elsewhere if he intended to hunt. He pointed
out that he could scarcely use hunting to justify his absence to
Seawrack as he had beforewe had far more meat than we needed.
I know how you feel about the inhumi, Nettle; and why you feel
as you do. If you were looking over my shoulder as I write this,
you would declare in the strongest possible terms that no one ought
to crack jokes with such creatures; and certainly the bond that was to
grow between Krait and me in the lander had not even begun to
form. But I still felt grateful to him for rescuing me, and so I
proposed that I tell Seawrack that he was hunting for napkins. He
laughed and we separated, leaving me under the impression that he
would remain with us on the sloop that night.
I took the first watch, and Seawrack the second. Krait was to
take the third; he was to awaken me, of course, for the fourth and
last watch of the night.
Here for arts sake I should insert some account of dreams in
which the Vanished People figured, I suppose; or perhaps reveal
whispered confidences exchanged with Seawrack. In fact there were
no dreams of any kind and no whispers. I roused her with considerable
difficulty when it was her watch, and when she returned to
lie beside me, leaving Krait on watch, she did not disturb me in the
least.
It was Babbie who actually woke us both, squealing with alarm
and nuzzling our faces. One of the gusty northwest winds that are
so common in that region had set in, and the sloop had dragged
her anchor until it found a solid hold in deep water and was about
to pull her under. I was able to cut the cable just in time to keep
her from swamping.
We had rounded the point of the spit at sunrise, and were heeling
sharply under a reefed mainsail and making excellent time when
Krait found us. I saw him, lit by the rising sun and carried swiftly
along by the wind, at a height that few birds ever reach. Seawrack,
I believe, did not.
He was in a quandary, as I realized immediately. If he landed
on the sloop, Seawrack would know that he was no ordinary boy
at the very least, and would in all likelihood see through his
disguise. If he landed on shore and tried to signal us to pick him up,
we might not see himor might, as he would certainly have imagined,
pretend not to.
He solved his problem by landing on shore well in advance of
us and swimming out to the sloop. I saw him, threw him a rope
and hauled him on board, shook him, gave him as violent a tongue-lashing
as I am capable of, and followed it by grabbing him by the
back of his tunic (which had been one of mine), peeling it off him,
and beating him with the ropes end until my arm ached. When the
wind had moderated and we could talk privately, he reproached me
for it, reminding me that he had rescued me from the pit and insisting,
erroneously in my view, that we had sworn eternal friendship.
I have been your friend ever since you got me out, I told
him. Have you been mine?
He managed to meet my eyes with a defiant stare that I found
more familiar than it should have been, but could find nothing to
say.
You very nearly sunk this boat. We saved it, but if Babbie
hadnt roused us it would have gone down. I dont suppose that
Seawrack could drown, but I can.
He said, The weather was fine when I left and I would have
come back before the end of my watch.
I would have died before the end of your watch. I would have
been dead, and the sloop sunk, and my mission to the Whorl a total
failure. I would be completely justified if I put my knife in you this
minute.
My hand was on it as I spoke, and he took a step backward.
There was fear in his eyes. Youve hurt me as much as you could
already.
Not half as much, I told him, and Ive kept my promise
even though youve broken yours. I threw you that rope; and if I
hadnt punished you severely for what you did, Seawrack would
have known that you couldnt possibly be what you pretend to be.
He hissed at me. The hiss of an inhumu is at once a more
sinister sound and an uglier one than the hissing of any serpent that
I have ever heard.
If one of my own sons had done what you did, Id treat him
exactly the way I treated you, I told him. If that isnt what you
want, what is it? I did not say that at least one of my sons would
have exhibited the same poisonous hatred; but I could not suppress
the thought.
I put him to work in good earnest after that, something I had
not done before, bailing, trimming sail and snugging up the standing
rigging, tidying the sail locker, coiling and stowing the rope I
had thrown him, and bailing again. I watched him every moment
and shouted at him whenever he showed signs of slacking; and
when he begged for mercy I started him scraping paint.
It was not long afterward that Seawrack spotted He-pen-sheep
and his son standing on the beach with the head of the breakbull
held upright between them. We were already some distance past
them, but I put up the helm and ran down the wind until we were
within hailing distance. He-pen-sheep cupped his hands around his
mouth. You take! Tou kill breakbull, Horn!
Seawrack glanced at me, her lovely eyes wide. They want to
give you that head. Standing upon its muzzle, it was nearly as tall
as the son, and the spread of its horns exceeded that of my
out-stretched arms, as I had found out when we had returned to the
carcass.
Youll have to take it, Krait told me, looking up from his
scraping; and of course he was right.
Besides, I wanted it. You will not understand, Nettle my dearest
darling, although perhaps some others who read this will. It had
seemed a grim irony when He-pen-sheeps son had tied the break-bulls
tail to the belt of the crude leather garment his father had
made for me. I had wanted the headyes, even thenif only to
prove to myself that I had actually done what I remembered doingand
the tail seemed only a sort of mockery of that desire, some
gods cruel jest to punish me for my dawning self-satisfaction. You
will ask now, and very reasonably, whether I did not want the head
of the wallower I shot a few weeks ago as well. I did, but not nearly
so acutely; and since no one talked of retaining the heads as trophies,
I kept my peace.
When after considerable labor we had the breakbulls head on
board and had waved good-bye once again, Krait took great pleasure
in enunciating the obvious. You can glory in it for a day or
three, if the flies dont get at it. But after that, it will have to go
over the side, or we will.
I muttered something about sawing off the horns, if I could
trade for a saw.
You could have shot them off back there. He pointed with
the scraper. It would have saved a lot of work.
Seawrack asked indignantly, How much work do you think
they did, cutting it off and carrying it to the other side, when they
couldnt even be sure that wed be going this way? (I had questioned
He-pen-sheep about a big river to the north the evening
before, but that was surely not the time to mention it.) She turned
to me. Would you settle for the skull with the horns still on it,
and no smell?
I assured her that I would, and gladly.
Then all we have to do is tow it behind the boat. Not too
long a rope, because you dont want it to go too deep. Ill show
you.
She did, and I surprised myself and them by lifting the huge
thing and carrying it to the stern for her. We balanced it on the
gunwale, tied a noose in the rope that Krait had coiled and stowed
a couple of hours earlier, tightened it over the horns, and pushed
the head overboard. Although we were still making respectable
time, it seemed to sink like a stone, and Seawrack had me shorten
the rope.
By evening, we were accompanied by a flock (I cannot bring
myself to call them a school) of the strangest and most beautiful
fish that I have ever seen, each a little bit longer than my hand.
They are luminous, as so many fish here are, although I cannot
recall any luminous fish in the market in Old Viron. Their heads
are scarlet, their bellies an icy white, and their backs, dorsal fins,
and tails are blue. All four of their cubit-long pectoral fins (with
which they not only glide but fly like birds or insects) are gauzy,
and invisible at night. When they flitted around the sloop after
shadelow like so many oversized and multicolored fireflies, it really
seemed that we were sailing far beneath the waves, with some convenient
current swelling our mainsail. Seawrack assured me that
they would strip the skull of the last scrape of flesh in a few days,
and they did.
And now good night, Nettle my own darling. My night
thoughts circle your bed, glowing but invisible, to observe and to
protect you. Never doubt that I love you very dearly.
12
WAR
I have been wounded. That is why I am back here now, and
why I have had the leisure to read so much of this tissue of half-truths.
(Of lies I have told to myself.) And it is why I have the
leisure to write.
My wound throbs. A physician has given me a pretty little pot
containing some dirty, sticky stuff I am to chew, the dried sap of
some plant or other. When I chew it my wound is a drum beaten
softly very far away, but I cannot think. Everything flows together,
dancing with Seawrack in the swirling waves of my thought and
taking on unimaginable colorsthe play of candlelight on Pigs
blind face as he ate soup, Babbie rushing upon the devil-fish, Nettle
screaming with pain and relief as Hide followed Hoof. If I were to
take a pinch from the pink porcelain pot now, the wall of this room
would blush for my self-pity.
I do not believe I have written this by daylight before. Why
not say that was why I had not noticed how much falsehood is
in it.
Where to begin?
Nothing about my travels with Seawrack and Krait today. I have
too much to recount that is recent. Let us begin with the war.
Bile: I finished reading this one hour ago, appalled by my own
hypocrisy. Particularly sickened by the last few words I wrote before
the outbreak of the war. Did I really think that I could lie like that
to myself, and make myself believe it? While all the time I was
imagining myself Silk, forever thinking of what Silk would do or
say? Silk would have been ruthlessly honest with himself, and worse.
Died.
My dagger lies on the carpet now not two cubits from this
chair, long, straight, and strong. Thick at the back so that it will
not bend when I stab someone.
Someone, I say, and mean someone else.
Not stab myself. I will not do that. If I need more courage than
I have to live, I will pretend to have it and live anyway. I did that
on the battlefield. How frightened I was afterward, and how ridiculous
I feel now!
My hands shook. It was all that I could do to keep my voice
steady, and perhaps it was not, or not always. I acted the part of a
hero. That is to say, I acted as it seemed to me I would have if I
had actually possessed dauntless courage. They believed me. What
fools we were, all of us, losing battle after battle!
But O you gods of the Short Sun, what a thing it is! What a
thing it is to see frightened men stop and reload, and fight again!
They were too many for us. All you had to do was listen to the
shooting, three and four shots from them for each one of ours.
I traded for the big chopping knives in Pajarocu. Maybe I
should have given each a name, but I never did. If Choora is a
princess, they were a washerwoman and a maid of all work; but
there are times when a sturdy girl who will turn her hand to whatever
may be needed is better than a princess with a coral pommel.
I have tried hard to punish myself for that, and certain other
things. No more. Let the Outsider punish me; we deceive ourselves
when we think that we can measure out justice to ourselves. I
wanted to end my guilt. What was just about that? I should feel
guilty. I deserve it.
I should feel a lot more guilty about having had other women
while I was (as I still am) wed to poor Nettle. When I read that
business about my thoughts flying around her bed, I was sickened.
Sickened!
For all our lives I have been a false lover and a false friend. I
would beg her to forgive me if I could. If only I could. I do not
dream about her anymore.
Is that bile enough? No, but there will be more later as the
occasion demands. As the mood strikes. Let us move on to the river.
That is what I would have called this half-baked book of mine,
if only I had thought of it in time: The River. The title would stand
equally for the great river on Shadelowthe river on whose bank
we found Pajarocuand for our own much smaller Nadi. (Another
wife, a temptress in a swirling skirt, with flashing eyes and hurrying
feet, sensuous and tempestuous, suddenly languid and lazily thrilling;
a woman like gold at evening, full of blood and crocodiles.)
Anyway, it was my fault. No doubt it always is.
I had set some men to work to tame Nadis Lesser Cataracts.
First, because I knew we would become richer if we could
trade more with the towns nearer the sea, and second because we
had men who needed work and could find none except at harvest.
To raise the money, I made every foreign merchant who came to
our market pay a tax, so much for each man and so much for each
beast.
I also lopped the heads of two men who had collected the tax
for me and kept part of the money for themselves. I was proud then, and
talked to myself about iron justice. Yes, iron justice,
and I killed two men who had been boys in the Whorl when I myself
was a boy there. I do not mean I killed them with my own hands;
I did not, but they died at my order, and would have lived without
it. What else can you call it? Steely justice from the big, curved
blade of my executioners sword. How does he feel, that hulking,
hard-faced man, slaying men who have done him no harm? Chopping
off hands? No worse than I, I hope. Better. I would not want
an innocent man to feel the way I do.
So was I. Hari Mau and I made a trip with the surveyors to
look at possible routes, and everything was much worsesteeper
slopes, and a lot more rock. All of us agreed it would take a long
time and might never be suitable for boats of any size, which would
have to be hauled along a lengthy ladder of sharp bends. I told the
Man of Han that he would have to pay our workers, and that the
work would take years. He offered to send men of his own, which
we refused.
* *
Neither will my sons, except, perhaps, for Sinew. It was very
strangeI must remember to write more about thisto come to
Pajarocu knowing that Sinew had been there before us. Can he have
followed me from Green to the Whorl, and from the Whorl back
here? Surely not. Yet stranger things have happened. I almost hope
he has.
He is a thin and nervous-man, is Bahar. How did he get such
a name, which should mean that he is fat? He combed his scraggly
beard with his fingers, rolling his eyes to let me know that all is
lost, the town will fall within a day or two, we men will be slaughtered
like goats, our children enslaved, our women made off with.
I chirped at him like a cricket, and heartened him a little, I think.
Poor Bahar! What can it be like to be a good man, yet always expect
bad luck, and a whorl of thieves and murderers?
I have a wife from Han, if the others havent killed her already.
We call her Chota. The name (it is small) fits her.
Too cruel, maybe.
Just talking to Bahar has made me hungry. He always looks so
thin and starved. I cannot remember the last time I was hungry.
* *
(And yet, the paper was our one great idea.)
She wrote a clearer hand than I did, too, but hated thinking
everything out in sentences and paragraphs; left to her, our book
would have been nothing but summary.
Like this one. I can hear her say it.
So Chota brought in my wine and fish and fruit, the fresh
and the pickled vegetables, the pilav, and the thin panbread that
everyone eats here at every meal, as round and flat and sallow as
her face. She remained to serve, and I soon realized that she was
hungrier than I was. They have not let her eat, or kept her too
upset to eat.
I made her sit beside me and scooped up some pilav for her,
little balls of boiled dough mixed with chopped nuts and raisins,
and made her eat it. Soon she was talking of home and begging me
to keep her here with me. She told me her real name, which I have
forgotten already. It means music played at shadelow.
I talked to her about the war, and said I hoped that Han would
welcome her back if Gaon fell. She insists that her sister-wives would
surely kill her the moment they heard I was dead, and that if they
did not her own people would cut off her breasts.
What is the matter with us? How can we do such things to each
other?
She begged me to take her with me, so I did. She had never
ridden on an elephant. Our troopers were overjoyed to see me, or
at any rate they were polite enough to pretend that they were. I
think they thought I was dead and that nobody would tell them. I
left Chota in the long tent on the elephants back and borrowed a
horse, and rode up and down our line, smiling and blessing them.
Poor, poor spirits! Most had never handled anything more dangerous
than a pitchfork. They are brave, but few have any idea what
they are about. Their officers have read about Silk, just as Hari Mau
and Bahar have, and that is why I am here. These poor troopers
have only heard talesfantastic tales for the most part. Yet they
cheered for the one-eyed man with white hair.
We have elephants, but they will not trample our enemies. The
booming of the guns frightens them, just as it does me. The elephants
frighten our horses, who are not afraid of guns. What a
whorl!
Elephants frighten our prisoners as well, as I soon saw. We have
twenty-two, everything from grandfathers with wrinkled faces to
boys who cannot yet have reached puberty. When I saw that they
were afraid of my elephant, I had three of them sent up the ladder
one by one, so that I could question them upon its back. Chota
helped me greatly at times, explaining the customs and idioms of
Han. She had brought along the pickled parsnips, pilav, and some
other food; our prisoners mouths watered as they watched her eat.
They are as hungry as she was, I think. Food is scarce, so Hari Mau
has allowed them very little.
* *
Namak will try to hire men who will fight alongside us. They
will have to be men who have their own slug guns, since guns are
in very short supply. (I wonder how they are coming in New Viron,
making their own? Certainly the one that Marrow gave me was
serviceable enough.) It is probably for the bestwe must have men
who can shoot. Hunting can be a cruel amusement and it often is;
but it is the best training in the whorl for a trooper.
I hope Bahar sends something back for us soon. Food is very
scarce, and of course everything north along the Nadi is gone, all
those rich farms.
Hari Mau came from the front to confer. It is an hours ride
now. He had made sketch maps. Our left flank is quite secure, he
says, an impenetrable marshy forest. (What can a man who has not
been on Green know about that?) Our right is on the river, and in
spite of all that he says I am worried about both.
He was worried about Chota, so much so that I made her go
back to the womens quarters for a while. Nobody trusts her, poor
child.
Nobody but me.
Prisoners in despair, he says.
* *
I have hatched a plan and have been seeing that it is carried
out for half the day. We have been driven back again and again.
Several of our river workers were injured by flying rock, and one
died. Both those are facts. We are trying to combine them.
* *
First, food is scarce on their side. It must be brought from Han
on pack animals, horses and mules, because of the Cataracts. They
think that we have plenty, and that they have been starved on Hari
Maus orders.
Second, they think the whole war is a plot to make them lose
their land. They are small farmers for the most part, just like our
own troopers, and one of them accused Evensong (Chota) to her
face, calling her the Mans woman and making her furiously angry.
She tried to get me to have him killed. I told her he is precious to
me, and have asked for a truce instead.
* *
At every odd moment I find myself thinking about that impenetrable
forest, and remembering the forest at the mouth of the
big river, the jungles on Green, and so forththe tangled trees on
the big sandspit I was writing about before Han invaded us.
When we found the mouth of the river, all three of us thought
that the search was almost over. I got out the map Wijzer had drawn
for me and showed it to Krait, and he agreed to search for Pajarocu
whenever he went hunting. Supposing that we would be there in
another week at most, Seawrack and I agreed that she would remain
behind to look after the sloop. I explained at some length that a
great deal might still go wrong even if the lander flew into the sky
without crashing and told her to assume me dead if I had not returned
within a month.
It has been nearly two years now, I believe. More, perhaps.
How is it that her song reaches me?
* *
The retreat did not go quite as planned, but it was good
enough. I stood upon the head of my elephant and watched the
whole battle, although everyone said that was too dangerous, even
Mahawat, who drives him for me and stood beside me dancing with
excitement.
The Hannese rushed forward as we had hoped, waving knives
and swords, yelling and shooting. Our men ran, then turned and
fired when they reached their new positions. That was the point
that had worried me. I had been afraid they would keep on running,
but only a handful did. There was a hot fight then for about an
hour before the buried powder went off.
They were very big charges, much bigger than we had ever used
in blasting rock, and we had packed jagged flints around the kegs.
The plan was to have our men rush the enemy after the explosions,
and send in the horsemen only if the enemy broke; but Hari Mau
sent them in at once, seeing that the enemy would break at once.
It was very strange for me, standing high up there in front of the
long platform that holds my silk tent, because I could see that the
horsemen should go immediately. I had no way to give the order,
but trumpets blew as if I had, with the final notes lost in the thunder
of the hooves, and after that it was lances and swords and needlers
and dust, the flag dipping and leaning and always seeming about
to fall, but advancing! Advancing! Advancing!
And blood, always blood, although there was great deal of that
already.
But the important point is that I must not let myself get caught
like that again. I must always have some means of relaying my
orders immediately, or if not immediately as fast as possible.
This may be the most dangerous thing I have ever done. But
I am going to do it. Not tonight, however, because the weather is
clear and Green will light up everything. On the first dark night, I
shall see how effectual Kraits secret is. I will be confiding it to
someone who knows it already, after all. That cannot be betrayal.
The people looked like He-pen-sheep and She-pick-berry for
the most part, lean and muscular with bandy legs, big shoulders,
and noses like hawks. They all have long, straight hair, glossy black
and really quite beautiful. All the women braid it; so do some of
the men. Their complexions are dark yet translucent, so that the
brown is touched with pink and red from the blood beneath; it
can be very attractive, particularly in the children and the young
women.
They are silent and suspicious in the presence of strangers, although
the women seem to chatter incessantly when they are by
themselves. Like She-pick-berry, they frequently pretended not to
understand the Common Tongue. I was angry already (no doubt
they saw it) and that made me angrier still.
Another traveler, also bound for Pajarocu he said, told me that
the town (it was called Wichote) was the last outpost of civilization.
I asked how he could be sure of that if he had gone no farther, and
he claimed that he had gone much farther, together with a young
man older than my son (by which he meant Krait) whom he had
rescued at sea.
He looked like you. The traveler grinned. But with more
hair.
Here I would like very much to be able to say that I knew at
once, but it would not be true. I asked whether the young man he
had rescued had known the way to Pajarocu.
He thought he did, the traveler said, and got us lost a
couple of thousand times.
Thinking that the young mans information might be of value,
I asked to speak with him.
He wouldnt come back with me. The traveler grinned
again. I wouldnt worry about him, if I were you.
I wont, if hes not in Wichote; but Id like to have a talk with
him. You and he separated, up the river? How far was it?
The traveler shrugged. Two weeks travel, or about that.
You left him alone?
Sure. Hell be all right. Hes a little raw at the edges, but you
cant break him. Or bend him very much, either. And hes got a
needier. He can take care of himself.
We parted, and he must have gone back to his boat and put
out, afraid that I would reach Pajarocu before him and take the last
seat. (He was not on the lander, however.) After it occurred to
mevery latethat the young man he had traveled with had
certainly been Sinew, I was never able to find the traveler again,
although I walked up and down those muddy little streets for hours
and looked in at every open door, questioning everyone who would
talk to me. When at last I accepted the fact that he had gone, I
went back to the sloop, half minded to leave Seawrack ashore for
the time being and go after him. But if I had caught up with him,
and he had told me that the young mans name had indeed been
Sinew, what would I have learned? And what could I do when I
had confirmed it, except continue searching for Pajarocu, which
Sinew was searching for as well? We would meet in Pajarocu,
wherever that wasor we would not meet at all.
Seawrack was ashore then, as I have said; we had not yet come
to terms with the intractable necessity of waiting until market day,
and she had taken a few of my silver trinkets in the hope of trading
them for warmer and more durable clothing. I sat with Babbie in
the stern of the sloop, thinking back upon the days when Sinew
was small and looking at the big, slow river until shadelow. Now,
if I shut my eyes, I see it still, a far larger and more sluggish river
than our Nadi, with wide stretches of mud visible in many places.
The setting of the Short Sun on Shadelow is never as dramatic as
it is here.
In New Viron, the Short Sun sinks into the sea, a wonderful
sight when the weather is calm. Nettle used to make me go out
onto the beach to watch it with her, and I was impatient much too
often. I would give a great deal to stand beside her once more and
hold her hand while we wait for the momentary flash of limpid
emerald that appears as if by sorcery as the last fragment of the
Short Sun vanishes behind the swelling waves, a green so pure that
it cannot possibly have anything to do with the evil, festering whorl
of that name. I, who never saw the sea until I was almost grown,
did not come to love it until I left it. So, too, with Seawrack, or so
I have reason to believe. The sea did not call to her while she lived
in it as the
I do not know what word to use.
The pet? The adopted daughter? The hook-studded lure of the
old sea goddess? Very likely she was all three. Why should the sea
call to her then? It had her. Only after she had left it, only when
she was trying to put it behind her in that crude and dirty little
village on the bank of the great river, did the sea sing to Seawrack
as Seawrack herself sings to me tonight.
Up there I wrote that I could close my eyes and see the great
river again. I can, and hear it again, too: the nearly stagnant water
whispering as it slips past, the narrow little boat that holds only a
single paddler, the mournful cries of the snake-necked seabirds (for
there were still seabirds aplenty, although we were leagues from the
sea), the rising mist, and the distant howl of a felwolf. The vast and
empty flatness of it, so lonely and so desolate.
Only the thrust of her pink-tipped breasts and the whiteness of
her flesh, when first she left the sea.
* *
If I am any judge, Mehman is not one to flinch, but I wish that
Krait and Sinew were here with me.
The armorer came this morning with a dozen swords, most far
too long, and no needier. He had given all the needlers out to our
officers, he said. I told him that he had kept one for himself and
ordered him to give it to me, but he wept and groveled, swearing
that he had not. One of my guards may have one. I hope so. If
not, the short sword and Choora, with Hyacinths azoth hidden
under my tunic, to be used only in the gravest extreme.
Tonight I called a meeting: wives, guards, and servants. I told
them that I was going out tomorrow and taking Mahawat and the
remaining guards with me. (There are only half a dozen.) Pehla will
be in charge, as she was when I was upriver before I was wounded.
Mehman and his assistants are to guard the palace. (I solemnly
handed out the rest of the swords to the old men and boys he has
found to help him.) We leave at shadeup, so I had better get some
sleep.
* *
I had just gotten into bed and closed my eyes, when here was
Evensong slipping under the bedclothes beside me, quite naked
except for a good deal of the sandlewood scent I gave her the other
day. I thought that she must have hidden in my room when I believed
she had gone out, and told her sternly that she must not do
it; but she says she climbed in through a window. She wanted to
go too, and since I had already told her something about the other
matter I said she could. Her gratitude knew no bounds.
We rose before the sun, dressed, got a little fruit to eat on the
way, and were off. I had asked Hari Mau to find me a trooper who
knew the forest, and he hadbut Merciful Molpe, he was only a
boy. He had a slug gun and swore that he was fifteen, but I would
guess him thirteen at most. It was crowded on the elephant with
my six guards (all big men) and their weapons, Evensong,
Trooper Darjan, and me. I was glad to get off.
Darjan made a little speech when we reached the forest, inspired
by Hari Mau I feel quite sure. How thick the growth, how low and
wet the ground, how many thornsno one could go through. When
he had finished, I asked whether he had ever gone through it.
Not through, Rajan.
Well, did you ever go in there?
Yes, Rajan, I used to play in there when I was smaller. (By
which he must have meant before he learned to walk.)
I told him to start in, and I would follow him. We would go
two leagues north, then turn east and see what we could. He nodded
and began to pick his way through the tangle. I told Mahawat
to follow me, but to keep some distance.
In the beginning I kept my eyes on Darjan and walked where
he had, snagging my tough cotton military tunic at every step and
mightily tempted to use the azothbut also determined not to
reveal to anyone, including him, that I had it. After about an hour
of that the Neighbors gift came back to me, as it had on Green.
Perhaps I had never really lost it, but only lost sight of it.
Whether or not that last is true, it became apparent to me that
Darjan was not choosing the best way. I took it, and was soon so
far ahead that I was forced to stop and wait for him. After that, we
both had to wait for my elephant.
I had been of two minds about that elephant. To begin with,
on Green I had seen that even the largest animals can penetrate
thick cover, as the wallowers we hunted here had. (If elephants can
be domesticated, why not wallowers? We must try it.) Their size
and strength let them force the heaviest growth, while their leathery
skins protect them from all but the worst scratches.
On the other hand you have warts, as my father used to say,
the wart in this case being that these large animals are too big to
pass between big, solid trunks growing close together. Fortunately
this forest has only a few large trees, and a great many bushes and
saplings.
It seemed that the elephant had little experience of such places,
but he learned his business quickly. After the first hour or so, he
was going faster than Darjan, so that Darjan, whom we had brought
along to guide us, was in danger of being trodden flat. I had told
Mahawat to watch me and go where I did, but the elephant learned
how to do that before Mahawat did, keeping the tip of one trunk
touching my headcloth and padding along behind me with surprisingly
little noise. We had struck the tent before setting out; but
Evensong and my guards had a rough time of it just the same,
having to lie flat on the platform and fend off the limbs and twigs
any way they could.
I had intended to stop at the edge of the forest and wait for
one of the Hannese trains of mules and pack horses to pass, then
attack it from behind; but in that I had not counted on the elephant.
He was so happy to see an open space that he ran past us
and out onto the road before Mahawat could get him stopped.
I got back up then, very glad of a chance to sit down after all
the walking I had done, and told Mahawat he would have to get
us back under the trees where we could not be seen. Mahawat
agreed, but the elephant did not. When he realized that we
wanted him to go back into the forest, he rebelled, charging up
the road like an eight-legged talus while trumpeting with both
trunks in a way that I found frightening myself and that absolutely
terrified poor Evensong. I suppose I have heard as many
women scream as most men have, and I may even have heard
more than most men, having heard a good many wounded Trivigaunti
troopers when Nettle and I fought for General Mint; but
Evensongs scream is in a class by itself. It is louder and shriller
than the scream of any other woman I have ever met with, and it
lasts two or three times longer.
Nettle, I know that you will never read this, nor would I wish
you to; but I am going to pretend you will. Try to imagine us, my
six guards, Evensong, Mahawat, and me (with Darjan lost in the
dust behind us), holding on to anything and everything in reach
and every one of us about to fall off, as we rounded a turn in the
road and found ourselves among three or four hundred Hannese
lancers.
A few days ago I wrote that our elephants could not be induced
to charge the enemy. I was wrong. This one did, and you have
never seen so many shaggy little ponies thrown into such a state of
abject panic. Perhaps no one has.
When I think back on it, it seems miraculous that even one of
us escaped alive. Riders were being thrown left and right, and few
of those who stayed in their saddles seemed to have slug guns or
needlers. The road turned again, but my elephant kept running in
a straight line, into a sort of cleft between two masses of rock.
Before long his sides were scraping and Mahawat got him back
under control. A handful of horsemen tried to follow us in, but a
few shots from my guards quickly put an end to that. Eventually
we found our way onto a gende slope dotted with brambles. It
became lower and wetter, trees took the place of the brambles, and
we were back in the familiar impassable forest.
By that time all of us were very glad to be there, even my
elephant.
* *
I would like some tea and something to eat, but I wanted to
read over what I wrote last night first, and make a few corrections.
(I seldom correct anything, as you will have seen, but in this case
there were far too many simple errors in spelling and the like. I have
recopied one whole sheet, and thrown the old one away.)
But before I tell the guard I am awake and send him for some
breakfast, I cannot resist speculating a little. Was what we did of any real
value? If it simply shows the enemy that the impassable
forest is indeed passable, it may have been worse than useless. If it
teaches us (and compels them) to watch that flank, it will have been
well worth doing. I must see that it does, and that further raids are
organized and carried out.
What, you will ask, became of Trooper Darjan? The truth is
that I do not know. By the time we had gotten clear of the enemy
horsemen, I had forgotten him utterly; and I seem to have been
too fatigued last night to spare him a thought, although I was stupidly
determined to write down everything before I slept.
Silk would have remembered him for the rest of his life.
I also asked about the mens comfort. We knew the rainy season
would begin soon and tried to make provision for it. Now that it
has begun, I must see that the waterproof cloaks are actually handed
out to the men who need them, that they get the meals and hot
tea and so on. I will set out for the front this afternoon, assuming
I am well enough.
The winter wheat should have been planted before this; now it
is too late. Not much was. The shortages will only get worse,
although three boadoads of food from Bahar arrived yesterday. Two
to the troopers, one sold in the market to help raise money for
I more.
We must have an animal of some sort tonight. I meant to take
I our milch cow, but with the gardener there I cannot risk it. I should
have diought of this sooner. I will have to find something else today
if we are to do it tonight. Not my horse, because I cannot spare
him. Not the elephant, eidier. We could not control him, and Mahawat
sleeps in his stall with him in any case.
No, someone else will have to find a suitable animal for me. I
will be too busy, and everything I do is noticed.
Breakfast.
But not true. She has been fighting with a sister-wife, and I can
guess which. I told her to send Pehla in to me, and she went, pale
and silent. Chandi thinks she used to be my favorite, so it is easy
to see what happened.
* *
Saw the men. It is not as good as I had hoped. I sent a third
of them home. Hari Mau objected so violently that I was afraid I
was going to have to put him under arrest. He says that if the enemy
attacks we are done. I told him the truth, that the enemy will not
attack again until the rains end, that in this weather two boys and
a dog could hold off a hundred men.
The men I sent home are to come back in a week. (I imagine
that at least half will have to be dragged back.) When they return,
we will send home another third. I told the men, or at least I told
as many as I could reach.
Spoke to the head gardener again before I left. I tried to give
him money and asked him to buy a goat. He said a cow would
be better, and he would find one. You never know with these
people.
Chicken for my supper, chopped up and mixed with fruit and
pepper in the usual way. Since I see it like that twice a week at least,
it should not have reminded me of anything, but it made me think
of the meat pudding we got in the market at Wichote, and I should
be writing about that anyway instead of all this day-to-day stuff.
Just imagine what this record would be like if I had written about
everything in the same way that I have been setting down these
daily doings of mine. I got a splinter in my finger todayleft,
indexwhile scraping the third cargo chest on the starboard side,
and Seawrack kissed it for me.
No, it really could not be like that, because we would still be
a hundred pages at least from Seawrack, the bat-fish, and the floating
isles. Back with Mucor and Maytera, in all likelihood.
At any rate, weIbought a species of pudding there on market
day. I had never seen one like it before, and the woman selling
them said they were good (naturally) so I took a chance and traded
a silver earring for one. It was dried meat pounded to powder and
mixed with fat and dried berries of several kinds (two black, one
red and deliciously tart, and one green and fruity as I remember).
Not bad-tasting, but a moderate slice of it left me feeling overfull
for two days, and it was too much like what we had been eating,
the breakbull meat Seawrack had smoked.
That nightI shall never forget itKrait woke me. Or it might
be better to say that by trying to approach me while I slept he stirred up
Babbie enough to wake me. Ive found it, he told me.
Pajarocu.
I started to reply, but he laid a finger to his lips and motioned
toward the stern.
Its a long way. It will take ten days or more.
My heart sank. I had been thinking that Seawrack and I would have another
month of travel at least. The landers still there?
Yes. He looked around cautiously at the other boats as he
spoke, his reptilian eyes gleaming in the Greenlight; and I wondered
why he should be afraid that the people on them might hear him,
when I knew that Seawrack could not. They still have quite a few
empty places, too. About half, a woman told me, even though their
town is full of men who have come to make the trip.
What sort of a town is it? A real town like New Viron? Or is it more
like this? By a gesture I indicated the huts at the waters
edge.
He grinned. Its more like one of ours, Father dear. You wont
like it.
Whats that supposed to mean?
Why should I tell you and have you call me a liar to my face?
You are a liar, Krait. You know that much better than I do.
He shrugged and looked angry.
Did you talk to He-hold-fire?
No. Just to whoever was still awake and willing to trade a bit
of gossip with me. He watched me silently, weighing me in scales
that I could not even imagine. Are we going to take Seawrack
with us?
I hedged. Lets hear what she has to say. I dont think she
wants to go.
She wants to do what you want her to do. Why force her to
guess what it is you want?
Then I wont. I wont take Babbie, either. This whole
continent seems to be covered with trees. I was thinking of Babbie
living the natural life of his kind in the forest. I did not know
whether there were wild hus on Shadelow, but it certainly seemed
like a place where he could live happily.
Was it like this around Pajarocu?
More so. The trees are bigger up the river. Bigger and older,
and not so sleepy.
Then Ill let him go. Free him. Why shouldnt he be happy?
I shouldve told you we cant take him anyway. No animals.
You could sell him to somebody there, perhaps.
I shook my head. Babbie was my friend.
Seawracks going to be the problem. I dont think you realize
it yet, Horn, but she is.
I wanted to say that she had not been a problem until he came,
that she had helped me in all sorts of ways, but it would have been
such an obvious opening for him that at the last moment I did not
speak.
An aid and a comfort. He grinned again, fangs out. Dont
jump like that. I cant read your mind. I read your face.
You saw the truth there, I told him. How do we get to
Pajarocu?
I know something about human ways, as youve seen. But
you, being human, not only know them but understand them. Or
so I assume.
Sometimes, I said.
Sometimes. I like that. Have I ever told you how much I like
you, Horn?
I nodded. More often than Ive believed it.
I do. The thing that I like is that I can never tell when youre
being truthful. Most of you lie constantly, as Seawrack does. A few
of you are practically always truthful, this Silk you like to talk about
would seem to have been one of those. Both are boring, but you
arent. You make me guess over and over.
I asked what his own practice was, although I knew.
The same as yours. Thats another reason to like you. Seriously
now, you need to think about your woman, not as I would
but as you would. Shes a human being, exactly as you are. Dont
settle for an easy answer and put it out of your mind.
I do that too much.
Im glad you know it.
I sat on the gunwale. What is it youre trying to get me to
say? That I need your advice?
I doubt that you do. I merely think that you havent thought
as much as you should about the situation shell face, left alone in
Pajarocu.
Shell have Babbie to protect her.
So much for a life of woodsy freedom. You wanted to know
how to get there. Up the river, right at the first fork and left at the
second. I know thats not what your map shows, but I followed the
rivers to get back here. Thats it, and a long fly it was.
Do you think theyll let three of us, all supposedly from New
Viron, have places on the lander?
Krait nodded. Its barely half full, I told you that, and theyll
want to go before winter, since nobodys likely to come after the
bad weather sets in. The ones who are there already are getting
impatient, too. If they wait much longer, theyll be losing more
than they gain.
I told her that it would be hours yet, and I wanted to get a
few hours sleep before we went out. She said she did, too, but her
sister-wives would not let her. She asked who would wake us when
it was time, and I told her I would wake myself.
As I now have. We will go soon. I will wake Evensong and give
her the note I have prepared, a blank piece of paper with a seal.
She will leave by the window, bring her note to the sentry at my
door, and demand to be admitted. He will refuse. I will open my
door (pretending that their voices have awakened me), look at her
paper, get dressed, and leave with her. We will meet the head
gardener at the lower gate.
Just writing those words made me think of the garden at my
manteion at home. We sprats said Patera Pikes garden, and then
almost without a pause to catch breath, Patera Silks. With barely
another pause, we are old, the garden a ruin (I sat there for a while
just the same), and that spot, in which some nameless much earlier
augur had made his garden, a hundred thousand leagues away or
some such ridiculous number. Do you imagine that a man of your
age will find another woman as young as she is? Krait asked me.
He wanted her on the lander, of course; I know that now. Or one
as beautiful? Trying to be gallant, I told him there were no other
women as beautiful as Seawrack.
Nor are there.
Evensong is as youngI would not be surprised if she were a
year or two younger. Nettle was never beautiful or even pretty, but
my heart melted each time she smiled. It would melt again if I could
see her smile tonight.
I must have a needier, and get it without taking it from someone
who will use it against the enemy.
We cannot surrender. I cannot. Because I could not leave Pig
blind, these people were able to bring me here, and so ended any
chance of success I might have had. You could argue that I owe
them nothing, and in a sense I believe that it is true; but to say that
I owe them nothing is one thing, and to say that they deserve to
be despoiled, raped, and enslaved is another and a very different
thing.
All this time I have tried to be Silk for them. I have thought
of Silk day and nightwhat would he do? What would he say under
these circumstances? On what principles would he make his decision?
Yet to every such question there is just the one answer: he
would do what was right and good, and in doubt, he would side
against his own interests. That is what I must do.
What I will do. I will try to be what he tried to be. He succeeded,
after all.
I have been pacing up and down this big bedroom. This palatial
bedroom my oppressors built for me. Pacing in my slippers, so as
not to wake Evensong or let the guard at my door know I am
awake. When I came here I was a prisonera prisoner who was
respected, true. I was treated with great kindness and even reverence
by Hari Mau and his friends, but I was a prisoner just the same. I
knew it, and so did they.
Let me be honest with myself, tonight and always. With myself
most of all. That has changed, had changed even before the war. I
am their ruler, their caldé. I could leave here at any time, simply by
putting a few things into saddlebags, mounting, and riding away.
No one would lift a finger to stop me. Who would dare?
I said I could; but I cannot. A prisoner is free to get away if he
can. I am no prisoner, and so I cannot. I said I owed them nothing;
let that stand. BetterI owe this town and its collective population
nothing, because I was taken from the Whorl against my will. But
what about the individuals who make up the town? Do I owe Hari
Mau and my troopers nothing? Men I have bled with?
What about Bahar? (I take one example where I might have a
hundred.) He was one of those who forced me to come here. At
my order he bought a boat, boarded it, and left his native place,
reminding me forcefully of a man named Horn I used to know. I
have not the slightest doubt that he has been working at his task,
and doing it as well as it can be done. Three boatloads of good,
simple, cheap food so far, and it would not surprise me if three
more docked tomorrow. At my order he went without a word of
protest, leaving his shop to his apprentices. Do I owe Bahar
nothing?
Say I do. It is wrong, but say it.
What about my wives? Pehla and Alubukhara are with child. I
have lain beside every one of them, and whispered words of love
that to many men mean nothing at all. Am I, their husband, to be
numbered among those men?
I say that I am not.
Neither were the teachings I tried to pass along to my sons
things that I myself did not believe. I am a bad man, granted. Sinew
always thought so, and Sinew was right. I am no Silk, but am I as
bad as that? I left Nettle, but I did not leave her to be raped and
murdered.
Lastly, Evensong and all the people of Han. Say that she counts
only as a wife, that she means no more to me than Chandi. Does
she mean less? She has a mother and a father, brothers and sisters,
two uncles and three aunts, all of whom she loves. They are at the
mercy of a tyrant, and if Gaon loses or surrenders they will remain
at his mercy.
If we win, there will be no difficulty about getting a needier,
or anything.
Where did I put Mayteras eye? In the top drawer at the back,
to be sure. Should I put it in a saddlebag now? How happy she
will be!
And my robe. I must have my robe and the corn. Where is
that?
We must win this war.
Then I will go home.
13
BROTHERS
That small boy, the gardeners grandson, said I was the Decider.
One of the things I must decide (one of the smallest and least
important) is how much I should set down before I go. Since I
fully intend to carry this account away with me, you may say that
it makes very little difference what I decide; but I enjoy a certain
rounding out in such things, a sense of completion. Clearly I cannot
set down everything, but I hope to carry it to the point at which
the lander left Blue. There were many days on the lander that I
would far rather forget. Surely the best way is to end before I reach
those; and after that I will write no more.
Before I begin, however, I ought to write about what the three
of us did last night. That, at least, will not take long. Everything
went as plannedEvensong bringing the note, and so on. The head
gardener was there to meet us, leading a scrawny, docile old cow.
Off we splashed through the warm rain. Prying up the stone was a
good deal more difficult than I had anticipated, I having seen four
workmen handle those stones without much trouble. I do not think
the gardener and I could have managed without Evensongs help.
With it, we scarcely got it up. He dug. He has been digging all his
life, and he knows his business.
I had half expected to find no more than the corpse, a thing
like a dried jellystar, of someone like Krait. It was an inhuma, and
seemed more nearly the mummified remains of a child. Possibly she
tried to make me think she was human, as they commonly do, even
as I lifted her from her grave. If she did, she succeeded horribly.
Evensong and I tried to talk to her. (I had meant for Evensong
to keep watch, but it was raining so hard that I could scarcely see
the cow. She could not have seen someone coming until he bumped
into her.) It was hopeless; the inhuma was too weak to speak a
word. I put her on the cows back and pressed her mouth to the
unlucky cows neck. I have washed my hands a dozen times since.
She fed for what seemed to us, soaked and steaming as all three
of us were, a very long time. She became somewhat larger, and
perhaps somewhat lighter in color, although it was not easy to tell
by the light of Mehmans sputtering lantern; but that was all.
Then...
I doubt that I can set it down in ink in any meaningful wayI
wish I could make you see it as we did. Two things happened at
once, but I cannot write about them both at once; one must be
first and the other second. Nettle, will you ever read this? What will
you think of me?
The rain stopped in an instant, the way rain often does here.
At one moment it was pouring. At the next the only drops that fell
were those that trickled from the roofs of the shops around the
market square. At that instant the inhuma slipped off the old cows
back, and when her feet touched stone there was no inhuma. In
her place stood a woman a little taller than Evensong, an emaciated
woman with burning eyes whose hairless skull somehow conveyed
the impression of lank reddish hair. I put my chain around her neck
and snapped the lock, and for an instant felt something quite different.
I said, You must be wondering why we released you.
No. She looked down into the grave in which she had been
imprisoned. Dont you want to fill that up before someone sees
it?
We did, and before the work was complete Evensong and I
were ready to jump out of our skins when Mehman dropped his
spade. I had intended to talk to the inhuma there, but had assumed
that the rain would continue; it would have been madness to do it
when the rain had stopped. After a little discussion we decided to
go to Mehmans cottage, at the farther end of my garden.
The cow made everything much more difficult; she was almost
too weak to stand. Mehman would have left her where she was, but
I would not hear of it, wanting nothing left behind that would draw
attention to the spot. Our prisoner offered to return a little of the
blood she had taken; but however deceived by her appearance I
may have been, her eyes told me what she intended, and I would
not permit it.
Eventually we got the cow into my garden, shut the gate, and
let her lie down. This morning Mehman was to take her to the
stables and tell the stableman that I have decided to take her in and
care for her. It is a thing that pious people here do occasionally.
He and Evensong waited outside while I explained what I had
learned from Krait on Green. I tapped the window when I had
finished, and they came in again. Will you do whatever we tell
you, if I release you? I asked the inhuma. Or shall I make good
on my threat?
She said nothing in reply, her face buried in her handsa naked,
hairless, reptilian thing in womans shape, stripped for the
moment of all her pride. Mehman and Evensong positioned their chairs
a half step behind mine and sat in silence, watching her.
I warn you, if you will not I am going to spread my knowledge
everywhere. I will be believed, because I am ruler here.
The face she lifted was a womans once more, beautiful and
depraved. What do you want from me? Her eyes were green, or
if they were not, they appeared so.
You are quick. I sat too, drew my sword, and laid it across
my lap.
I used to be. Tolerably so. Her bony shoulders rose and fell,
much narrower shoulders than Seawracks, and thinner than hers
had ever been. Skeletal.
Mehman stood, having remembered his duties as host. You
will honor me by drinking tea, Rajan?
Seeing that it would please him, I nodded and asked him to
bring me a bowl of warm water, soap, and a clean towel as well.
Tea for the rani? He bowed to Evensong; when I was newly
come it never occurred to me that my wives would be awarded the
title of the ruler of Trivigaunte.
Evensong nodded and smiled, and Mehman bowed again and
bustled away.
Id ask you how long you were in the ground under that stone, if
I thought you knew, I told our prisoner, but I dont
see how you could.
She shook her head. Years, I think.
So do I. Is your word good?
Freely given to you? Yes.
Then give me your word that you will do exactly as I order
you.
She shook her head more vigorously, so much so that the chain
clanked and rattled. It would be worth nothing at all as long as I
have to wear this. Take it away, and my oath will bind me.
I got out the key, but Evensong caught my hand.
The inhuma began, You were surprised that I didnt want to
know why you hadhad...
Her emotion may have been feigned, although I doubt it.
I wasnt free. You had locked this thing around my neck. Take
it away.
Motioning for Evensong to remain where she was, I did.
I will obey you in all things, Rajan, the inhuma declared. She
rubbed her neck as if the chain had chafed it, and although they
were faint I could see scales where pores should have been. I
glanced at the window, and found that it was gray now instead of
black.
I said, You give me your word for that?
Yes. Even knowing that her empty jade eyes and hollow
cheeks were more than half illusion, I pitied the face I saw. You
have my word, unless you command me to go back into that place
of living death.
I wont. And when you have completed the task Ill give you,
Im going to let you go.
Evensong made a little sound of displeasure.
I dont like it either, I said, but what else can I do? Kill
her after shes fought for us?
The inhuma made me a seated bow that may or may not have
been mockery.
Because I thought it would be better to wait for Mehman to return, I said,
Its just occurred to me that you inhumi are rather
like a kind of lizard Ive noticed in my garden. It can change colors,
and because of its size and shape, and because it remains so still, it
is easy to take one for a piece of brown bark, or a green leaf, or
even the flesh-colored petal of a rose. While I acknowledge that you
inhumi are a much higher form of life, it seems to me that the
principle is about the same.
I expected her to say that we three were merely large monkeys
without tails (as Krait would have), which would have been at least
as just; but she only nodded. You are correct, Rajan.
Evensong said, Pehla showed me one of those. They catch
insects with their tongues.
The inhuma nodded as before. We do the same, rani. You
havent asked my name, or given me yours.
Evensong introduced herself. I explained to her that I had not
inquired about the inhumas name because I knew that any name
she gave us would be false, at which the inhuma said, Then my
name in this town of yours shall be False. Is that how you say it?
Mehman came in just then with my water, soap, and towel. I
have no tray, Rajan. I am shamed.
I am shamed, not you, I told him. I ought to have paid
you better, and I will. Ill give you a tray, too. This inhuma would
like us to call her by a name that means false or lying. Something
like that. What would it be?
Jahlee.
Thank you. Jahlee, this man is Mehman. Mehman, we will
call this evil woman Jahlee, as you suggest.
He bowed to her.
Jahlee, I said, you are not to harm Mehman or any of his
people.
I am your slave.
Look at him carefully. Neither Evensong nor I are typical of
the mass of people here, but he is. He is a typical citizen of our
town, tall and dark, with a nose, eyes, mouth, and so on quite a bit
like mine.
I have seen others, Rajan.
Good. These are my people. Under no circumstances whatsoever
are you to harm any of them. If you do, you know what I
will do.
I do, Rajan. But I must live.
You must do more, as we both understand. Im about to get
to that.
Evensong said, Suppose another inhuma comes here and hurts
someone. We might think it was her.
We might indeed. Because we might she will warn the other
inhumi to keep away, if she is wise. Jahlee, Evensong is from a
different town, a foreign town called Han, with which our own
town is at war. She is a young woman of Han, more attractive than
most.
The starved and empty eyes fastened upon Evensongs face. I
understand, Rajan.
You are not to attack the common people of Han, or of any
other town. You may attack any and all of the troopers fighting
against us, however. They are fair game for you.
Jahlee started to object, but fell silent.
There are more than enough for you. You may also attack
their animals, if you wish.
She shook her head. That is most gracious, Rajan. But I will
not.
Sarcasm will win you no friends here.
Is it possible for me to win friends, Rajan?
Not like that. Will you attack the troopers from Han, as I
have suggested?
I am your slave. But it would be better if I had clothes. With
both hands, she smoothed her starved body, a body that appeared
wholly human. A wig or headdress of some sort, too. Powder,
rouge, and scent.
I glanced at Evensong, who nodded and hurried out.
A few gauds, Rajan, if its not asking too much.
She will think of that, Im sure. Shes an intelligent young
woman.
Mehman re-entered with a steaming teapot and two cups, and
I assured him that Evensong would be back soon.
There is more, I told Jahlee. Rinsing my fingers for the third
time, I sipped tea and nodded my appreciation to Mehman.
More duties, Rajan? For me? Her voice had become breathlessly
feminine.
You might say so. Are you aware that there are other inhumi
entombed here as you were?
No. For a moment the empty eyes flashed fire. You torture
us as we never torture you.
There are, and I know where they are buried. Hans our enemy,
but only Hans troops. You understand that.
Mehman brought in a fragrant cup for himself and another for
Jahlee, and I motioned for him to sit down.
Jahlee asked, Do you intend to dig them up to fight for us,
Most Merciful Rajan?
I may. In addition to preying upon those troops, I want you
to do whatever may occur to you to weaken and discomfort them.
Knowing the cunning of your race, I leave the nature of those
things entirely to you. You may do whatever seems good to you,
as long as it doesnt harm us.
I understand, Rajan.
When you have done something sufficiently impressive that
you feel that word of it is bound to reach me, return here. My
palace is in the same garden as this cottage. If its a court day, come
to court. If it isnt, ask for Evensong, who is also called Chota.
Your servants may detect me, Rajan.
See that they do not. If what you have done really is a major
stroke, you and I, with Mehman here and Evensong, will rescue a
second member of your race just as the three of us rescued you,
and on the same conditions. He or she will be sent against the
Horde of Han exactly as you are being sent. When either of you
achieves a major success, a third will be rescued. And so on.
If you win your war, you will release me from my promise? ;
Her expression was guarded.
Exactly.
Will you rescue the rest of us who are still in the living graves
then?
No. I shook my head. But I will tell youand the others
who have been freedwhere they are. You may free them yourselves,
if you wish.
Slowly, she nodded.
Scent, Jahlee whispered. I must have scent. She opened
the box and took out a fanciful bottle.
Thats not the good perfume you gave me, Evensong told
me. Its what they gave me in Han when they sent me here. As
she spoke, a heavy, spicy fragrance filled the room. You dont need
that much, she cautioned Jahlee.
Jahlee laughed then, laughter so dark and exulting that I wondered
whether I had not made a serious mistake when I had decided
to undertake this experiment after weeks of worry and indecision.
Heres a womans traveling hat. Evensong opened the
other box and took it out. It was wide and flat, rather like an oversized
saucer or a wide soup bowl of tightly plaited white straw turned
upside down.
There was a knock at the door; Mehman looked to me for
guidance, and I asked whether he was expecting company.
My daughter and her little boy.
Put on that gown and go, I told Jahlee. You know what
you are to do.
Stepping swiftly into the shoes, she pulled it over her head.
Night would be better.
Most people are still asleep. I turned to Evensong. Will
you give her that box to keep the cosmetics in?
She nodded.
Mehmans daughter knocked again, and I told Mehman to admit
them, adding to Jahlee, When they come in, you are to leave
immediately.
She did, favoring the humble woman and her little son with a
flashing smile in which no actual teeth were to be seen, and running
across the soft green grass with one hand clapped to the traveling
hat and Evensongs gown flowing and floating around her.
Mehman made obeisance. My daughter Zeehra, Rajan. My
grandson Lal.
His daughter looked askance at Evensong and me, plainly
dressed and soaked to the skin, before bowing almost to the
ground.
The rani and I were discussing an expansion of the herb beds
with your father when we were caught in the rain, I explained.
Little Lal started to speak, but was hushed at once by his
mother.
We are about to return to the palace, I continued, but there
is something of importance I must tell you first. Your father will
confirm what I say after I leave, I feel certain. The woman whom
I dismissed as you came in is not to be trusted. I would not wish
you to think, because you saw her with my wife and me, that she
is someone I trust, someone to whom you ought to defer.
Evensong surprised me by saying, She is a thief and worse
than a thief.
Exactly. I stood. The two-hands spider kills our rats, but it
remains a spider.
Youre the Decider, little Lal burst out. The other people
talk and talk, then you decide.
I am, I told him, but I cant decide everything. You must
decide whether to obey your mother, for exampleand accept the
consequences if you dont. What would you do, Lal, if that woman
in the red gown came to your door?
I wouldnt let her in, he declared stoutly.
Very good, I said. In time you may be an important and
respected man like your grandfather.
* *
My wound seems worse, Evensong says from the rain but I
think it is actually from the strain of lifting that big flagstone in the
market. Maybe it is for the best that we have no news about Jahlee.
This rain makes my ankle ache.
Which is too much. Paper is dear here, and I have several times
come close to proposing that we build our own mill. The Cataracts
(upper or lower) would supply far more water power than our little
stream on Lizard Island. But it is out of the question as long as the
fighting continues, and as soon as it ends I will go.
A lot of paper, and to confess the truth it would have a good
deal of interest written on it. On the lower reaches around Wichote,
the lack of winds was the chief problem. The river was very wide
there; even so, the center of its stream offered few such winds as
one hopes for, and often gets, at sea; and when we tried to tack,
whatever wind there was generally died away altogether as we
appreached the thickly wooded banks. The current was slow, however,
and what progress we made was often made with Babbie and
me at the sweeps. Earlier I recorded my dismay when Krait said we
might be in Pajarocu in ten days. I need not have worried, and after
a good long session with the sweeps I would gladly have arrived
that very instant if it had been possible. There were many days on
which we could see the point at which we had dropped anchor the
day before when we stopped for the evening meal.
Somewhere I should say that we were attacked only once. Half
a dozen men, perhaps, swam out to our boat while Krait was away
and Seawrack and I were sleeping. Babbie and a couple of shots
from the slug gun routed them, and one left behind a long knife
that became Seawracks tool and weapon thereafter. Basically, no
harm was done; but it taught me to anchor well away from shore
on those rivers, as I invariably did from that time forward. As an
added precaution, I made it a set rule to travel some little distance
after we had finished our evening meal and put out the fire in the
sandbox, and not to drop anchor until full darkness had arrived and
the place could not easily be observed.
Having found Pajarocu, Krait visited it almost every night; and
I assumed that he was feeding there as well. He asked for and
received my permission to leave us if it appeared that the lander was
about to fly. In return, he assured me repeatedly that he would
continue to guide us, faithful to the promise he had made when he
rescued me from the pit, so long as it did not mean that he himself
would miss the lander.
Food was a continuing difficulty. Much of the meat Seawrack
had smoked had spoiled, either because it had not been dried
enough, or because it had gotten wet. We had brought a little food
from Wichote as well, most notably the famous pudding I have
already mentioned and a sack of cornmeal; but after the first week
on the river the cornmeal was gone and the pudding (which had
once seemed as permanent as a stone) showed signs of unwelcome
shrinkage. Seawrack took fish in the river for Babbie and me, fish
which she caught with her hands and at first refused to eat. She
also went in search of wild berriesthese were very welcome indeed
when they could be foundwhile Babbie and I hunted with the
slug gun.
To the very few of you who read this who may venture upon
the western sea, I say this. Hunger and cold will be the chief dangers
you face, and they will be far worse than the hostility of the people
of Shadelow, and a thousand times worse than its most dangerous
beasts.
(It was not so on Green; perhaps someday I will write about
that after all, even though Greens monstrous beasts would never
be credited. If I do it I will have to represent them as slower, as
well as smaller, than they actually are.)
Hunger and cold tormented us, as I have said, and each made
the other far worse. In cold weather a starved person is scarcely ever
warm, even with a blanket and a fire; and a healthy person exposed
to cold soon becomes ravenously hungry. When I sailed from Lizard
Island, I took a few changes of clothing, a warm wool blanket, and
bales of paper to trade for more supplies at New Vironpaper that
was stolen from me almost at once. For my needier Sinew threw
me his knife, and Marrow very generously provided me with food,
the slug gun and ammunition, and the silver jewelry I have occasionally
mentioned. I bought more food (with vinegar, cooking oil,
black and red pepper, and dried basil), the sweeps, a new harpoon,
and a few other odds and ends, after which I considered myself
adequately equipped.
Iwewere not. I am tempted here to write at great length
about gloves, stockings, and boots. There were times when I would
have traded the sloop for a warm wool cap and a stout pair of warm
leather gloves; but to dwell on this item or that would be to obscure
the real point.
One cannot stock a boat with sufficient food for such a voyage
as I so lightly undertook. If its entire cargo consisted of food, that
would not be sufficient. All that one can do is to load up with as
much as the boat can reasonably carry, choosing foods (vegetable
foods, particularly) that will keep for weeks or months. We fished
and hunted, as I have indicated; but an exclusive diet of fish and
meat is not healthy and quickly becomes maddeningly monotonous.
The best gift that Marrow gave me was not my slug gun, but the
barrel of apples. Before we reached Pajarocu, I wished heartily that
it had been a half dozen. I must add that each day spent hunting
and gathering wild fruits or nuts was a day lost, and that we often
got little or nothing.
Possibly I should also say here that when the barrel was empty
I broke it up and used its staves for firewood. If I had kept it and
stored Seawracks smoked breakbull in it, much that was spoiled by
wetting would have been saved.
There was little cloth in the market at Wichote, although furs
and hides were plentiful. Seawrack and I got fur caps that came
down well past our necks and ears, butter-soft leather tunics of
greenbuck hide (I wore mine under the stiffer garment that He-pen-sheep
had made for me), big fur robes, and clumsy fur mittens,
as well as blankets much thicker and warmer than the one I brought
from Lizard. These purchases will show the sort of clothing that
will be essential on the voyage. Add to them sturdy trousersseveral
pairsat least two pairs of seaboots, and a dozen pairs of wool
stockings.
One should also bring needles and thread with which to repair
ones clothing. I was fortunate in that I had several of the large
needles I used to sew sails and a big ball of coarse linen thread.
Finer needles and finer thread would be advisable, toas well as a
pair of scissors.
With boats stores I was tolerably well provided. The second
anchor I had bought in New Viron, particularly, proved invaluable.
I had also laid in a bolt of sailcloth, tar, varnish, and paint, and
came to regret that there was not more of all four. There cannot
be too much rope on a boat bound on a trip of great duration.
In the long hours of idleness Seawrack and I became more
intimate than we had ever been before, more intimate even than
we had been during those first idyllic days when her poor stump of
arm had not yet healed and she used to confide to me that the
fingers she no longer possessed touched something hard or soft,
smooth or rough.
There was none of that now; if those soft and graceful phantom
fingers groped or stroked anything, I was not apprised of it; but she
talked about her life beneath the sea, of people she had known and
liked or known and feared there (not all or even most of them
actual, I believe), the freshwater springs on the seafloor at which
she had drunk, the pranks she had played upon unsuspecting men
in boats, and the pets she had adopted but eventually discarded,
lost, or eaten.
It seemed completely normal to me then, she said, and I
knew in my heart that it still didthat it was her life aboard the
sloop with me that seemed the aberration. I knew most people
lived on the land, and I think I knew, somewhere behind my ears,
that I had too, a long time ago. It wasnt something I thought a
lot about.
She was silent for a moment, staring out at the last gleams of
sunshine on the water.
There were certain places around Mother where I slept, and
I would go into them when it got dark. The sea is more dangerous
after dark. So often you dont see hungry things until you bump
into them, or they bump into you, and a lot of those hungry things
have ways of seeing in the dark with noises that I cant do.
She seemed to catch her breath, scanning the forest shadows.
So when it got dark I would go into one of my sleeping places.
The water was always warm and still in them, with Mothers smell
in it. Id curl up and go to sleep, knowing that Mother was so big
that nothing frightened her, and that most of the dangerous things
and people were afraid of her. You probably think it was awful. But
it wasnt awful, not then. It was really very, very nice.
Babbie stretched out beside her, resting his chin on her thigh
and looking up at her with eyes like two dark red beads that tried
terribly hard to melt, although they had been made for maniacal
ferocity.
The land was like that for me, when I thought about it at all.
Like the dark, I mean. I felt that it was always dark up there, and the
people there werent really people at all, that they werent really
people. Mother wasnt human, though. Isnt that what you say?
Feeling very much like Babbie, I nodded.
She always seemed human to me. She still does, and I think
its because in the sea being people means something different. In
the sea, its talking. If you talk, you are a person, so she was and
so was I, because in the sea theres a lot of noise but not very many
talking voices. In a place like that town where we stayed waiting
for market day, there are so many people talking all the time that
nobody wants to hear any more talk. After that, being human becomes
something else, like walking on your hind feet.
I smiled. Human chickens?
And having two arms and two hands instead of wings. So Im
almost human. Isnt that right? She began to comb her long,
golden hair, holding the comb in her mouth when she needed her
hand for other matters.
Your hair changes color, I told her.
When its wet. It looks black then.
No, it doesnt. When its wet its a tawny gold, like
the beautiful old gold you wore for me when you first came on board.
She laughed, pleased. But when I go down deep, its black.
If you go down deep enough, I suppose it must be. But now
its changing color, and every color is more beautiful than the last,
and makes me forget the last and wish that it would stay the new
color always.
I watched the comb, and the shimmering highlights it left behind.
Theres gold so pale that its almost like silver, like this
ring you gave me, and pure yellow gold, and red gold, and even the
tawny color your hair has when its wetthe color I thought it was
for the first few days.
I was still spending a lot of time in the water then, she said
pensively.
I know. And now youre afraid of it, even when you catch fish
for us. I see you nerving yourself to go in, to take the plunge as
people say.
Im not afraid Ill drown, Horn. I never, ever will. Sometimes
I wish I could.
Obtuse though I was, I knew what she meant. Youd die. I
tried to make my voice gentle. Isnt that worse than going back
to your old life in the sea?
We watched Krait haul on the painter to bring the sloop nearer
shore, then walk out onto the bowsprit, jump down, and vanish
among the crowding trees. The sun was sinking behind the mountains
already, wrapping the river that had become our whorl in silent
purple shadows.
Hes one, isnt he? Seawrack sighed, put away her comb.
One what?
One of the things that hunt through the night, the things I
was so frightened of when I slept in Mother.
Not knowing what to say, I did not reply.
There was a cave in the rocks that I used to play in. Ive
probably told you.
I nodded.
I used to say I was going to sleep in there. She laughed
again, softly. I was always really brave in the daytime. But when
the dark started coming up out of the deep places, I would swim
back to Mother as fast as I could and sleep in one of the places
where Id been sleeping ever since I was little. I knew what a lot of
the things out there in the dark were, even if I didnt have names
for them, and just this moment it came into my head that Krait is
one of those, even if I dont have any name except Krait.
I said, I see, although I was not sure I did.
He sleeps all day, more than Babbie, even, and he hardly ever
eats anything. Then at night he hunts, and he must eat everything
he catches, because he never brings us back anything.
Sometimes he does, I objected.
That little crabbit. Contemptuously, she waved the crabbit
aside. He seems like a human person to me, but he doesnt to
you.
It caught me completely off guard. I did not know what to say.
He has two hands and two arms, and he walks standing up.
He talks more than both of us together when hes awake. So why
dont you think hes people?
I tried to say that I considered Krait fully human, and that he
was in fact a human being just as we werebut tried to do it
without telling a direct lie, stuttering and stammering and backing away
from assertions I had just made.
No, you dont, Seawrack told me.
Perhaps its only that hes so young. Hes actually
quite a bit younger than my son Sinew, and quite frankly, Seawrack, my son
Sinew and I have been at each others throats more often than I
like to remember. I swallowed, steeling myself to force out all the
lies the situation might require. He looks like Sinew, too
A new voiceSinews owninquired, Like me? Who does?
I turned my head so fast that I nearly broke my neck. Sinew
was almost alongside, standing perilously erect in one of the little
boats made by hollowing out logs that the local people used.
Krait does, Seawrack told him. It was as though she had
known him all her life.
Sinew looked at her, gulped helplessly, and looked at me,
plainly not yet up to speaking to a woman whose eyes, lips, and
chin had rocked him like a gale.
I asked whether he wanted to come on board.
Shesis it all right?
Certainly, I told him; and I caught the rope of braided hide
he threw me and made it fast.
If you had asked me an hour earlier, I would have said that I
would be delighted to see any face or hear any voice from Lizard,
even his. Now I had both seen and heard him, and my heart sank.
Here in this strange and wondrous town of Gaon, I tell myself (and
I believe that it is true) that I would be overjoyed to see Sinew
again as I saw him that evening on the great cold river that rushes
through the hills of the eastern face of Shadelow; but I know that
if my feelings were to take me off guard here as they did there, I
would call my guards and tell them to take him into the garden
and cut off his head in any spot they liked, as long as it was out of
sight of my window. If, somehow, he had appeared when Seawrack
was ashore looking for the seedy orange fruits she had twice found
growing in the clearings left by old fires, I really believe that I might
simply have shot him and let the torpid waters carry his corpse out
of my sight. What might have happened subsequently on Green, I
can scarcely imagine.
As it was, he sprang over the gunwale as I never could and sat
down with us, looking at Seawrack with embarrassed admiration.
This young man is Sinew, my oldest son, I told her. He
followed me from Lizard Island, apparently, and now he has caught
up with me. With us, I ought to have said.
She smiled at him and nodded; and I added, Sinew, this is
Seawrack.
Shier than ever, he nodded in return.
You did follow me, didnt you? I had asked youin fact, I
had begged youto stay there and look after your mother.
Yeah, I know.
Gently, Seawrack asked, How was she when you left, and how
were your brothers?
It wasnt that long after you, he told me. For a few seconds
he paused to gawk at the mossy leather stretched tight by Seawracks
breasts. Mother was fine then, and the sprats were fine
too.
Seawrack smiled. Did you take good care of her while you
were there, Sinew?
No. He had summoned up the courage to speak to her directly.
She took care of me, like she always does. See, my fatherhey!
What are you doing?
I was taking his hunting knife from the belt of my hide over-tunic,
sheath and all. Returning this to you. I held it out; and
when he did not accept it, I tossed it into his lap.
I cant give your needier back. He eyed me, clearly expecting
me to explode.
Thats all right.
I had it. I should have left it at home with Mother, only I
didnt. I took it with me in the old boat, and it was a really good
thing to have, too. I used it a lot before I lost it.
He turned to Seawrack. Father wanted me to take care of the
family, and for a couple of days I tried, only there wasnt anything
to do. He thought Id take the paper to town in the little boat, our
old one that wasnt much bigger than my old skin boat. Only it
leaked and wouldnt hold near enough, and as soon as everybody
found out hed gone away and left my mother there, Daisys mother
came over and said theyd take Mother and our paper in their fishing
boat anytime she wanted to go. This new boat here is like a
fishing boat, thats what we copied it from when me and Father
built it, only we put in these big boxes, too, to keep the paper dry.
He keeps rope and stuff in one, though.
I know, Seawrack said.
Real fishermen keep theirs up front under that little deck that
they stand on when theyve got to fool with the forestay or the
jib.
Thats where we sleep now, Sinew, your father and I.
Seawracks tone thrilled me as much as it must have pained him; even
tonight I thrill to the memory of it.
He stared, his mouth gaping. His hands fumbled with his knife,
and for a moment I believed that he might actually try to stab me
with it.
As if she spoke to a child, she asked, Do you want to come
with us? Where will you sleep tonight?
Yeah. In my boat, I guess. Thats where Ive been sleeping.
Ill get in it and tie it on in back. He looked to me. Is that all
right?
I nodded.
Only if youve got a blanket or anything that would be great.
I brought some, but I lost them.
I was about to say that we had brought only one, and had slept
for most of the voyage under sailcloth and our clothing, but
Seawrack explained that we had bought blankets in Wichote and rose
to get him one. I suggested that he might want some sailcloth as
well, in case of rain.
All right. For a second or two he fingered his reclaimed
hunting knife. We could trade for some furs with people around
here, if youve got anything to trade.
I nodded and said that I should have thought of that when we
put in at Wichote.
Theyd skin you there.
(My irony had been wasted.)
Only out here and farther west you can get good furs cheap
because they dont want to have to load them in their boats and
take them down the river to sell.
He accepted the blanket that would be his from that moment
forward. After we bring back Silk Im going to build a real big
boat and just go back and forth trading. Ill buy slug guns and stuff
like that back home and sell them for furs all up and down the river,
and then go back for more.
It recalled what the traveler had said, and I asked him whether
he had been farther west than we were now.
Oh, sure. Ive been to Pajarocu. I hung around there about
a week waiting for you, then I started back down looking for you.
Seawrack said admiringly, Youre very brave to travel alone
here in that little boat.
Thanks. He smiled, and for a moment I actually liked him.
See, a little boat like mine is what you need out here, so you can
get way over to one side and paddle. My fathers probably hanging
on to this big one cause were going to have to have it to bring
Silk back to New Viron in. Well have to have something that can
make it across. Thats right, isnt it, Father?
Back to Seawrack before I had a chance to reply. This one will do it.
Itll be fast, too, when were going back down, bringing
Silk back. Well need it because the landers coming right straight
back to Pajarocu, when it comes back. He waited for one of us to
challenge him.
You bet it is. Theyre not going to let a thing like that get
away from them. Would you? Theres quite a few towns over on
the other side thatve got landers that work. Thats what I heard.
Only they wont let anybody but their own people get anywhere
around them. Just try it and youll get shot. Some wont even own
up that theyve got them.
I cleared my throat. Ive been thinking. I want to propose a
plan to both of you.
Sinew held up his knife, inspecting its blade by the last light of
the day that was now past. You nicked the edge, he said, and
inspected the place with a thumbnail.
I know. Ive been cutting wood with it. I had to. I expected
him to enlarge upon his complaint; but he did not.
Seawrack had been studying his face. You dont look very
much like your father.
Everybody says I do.
She shook her head, and he smiled.
I asked them, May I tell you what I propose? The plan I
mentioned?
Sure. Sinew sheathed his knife.
As you said, well need this boat when the lander returns. As
you also said, its not well suited to river travel. Seawrack and I have
seen that for ourselves. So has Krait.
I waited for his agreement, and got it.
Seawrack and I havent talked very much about the hazards
involved in flying back to the Whorl on a lander jury-rigged by
somebody in Pajarocu. Neither did you and I before I left, and I
dont like to talk about it even now. I dont enjoy sounding as if I
were boasting about the dangers Ill face. I dont even like to think
about them, and Id gladly make them lessif I could.
It looks pretty good, that lander, Sinew assured me. Ive
seen it.
I nodded. Im very glad to hear that. But before I continue,
I ought to ask you something. What happened to our old boat, the
one you set out in?
He shrugged. I traded it for the one Ive got now and some
other stuff.
May I ask what the other stuff was?
It doesnt matter. Its gone now.
What was it?
I said it doesnt matter!
Hes hungry, Seawrack interposed. Would you like a piece
of smoked meat, Sinew?
Sure. Thanks.
This time I waited until he was chewing it. I have to go on
that lander. I promised I would, and I intend to. Krait wants to go,
too. Hes told me why, and he has an excellent reason; but he made
me promise not to reveal it. Neither of you have any reason at all.
They objected, but I silenced them. As I said, it will be very
dangerous. Its quite possible that the lander will explode, or catch
fire, or crash when it tries to take off. Even if it flies away safely and
crosses the abyss between the whorls, landing in the Whorl is liable
to be very difficult. Kraits been concerned about you, Seawrack. I
doubt that hes told you, but he has been.
She shook her head.
Hed been assuming that youd come with us if there was a
place for you on it. He mentioned it to me not long ago, and I
said just what Im saying now, that its too dangerous to subject
you to. I told him that I intended to leave you in Pajarocu until I
came back.
Seawrack shook her head again, this time violently, and Sinew
said, Me, too? I wont.
Krait had objections as well. He pointed out that she would
be an attractive young woman alone and friendless in a strange
town. I had to admit that he was right. I rilled my lungs with air,
conscious of what failure to persuade them now would mean.
So heres the new plan I would like to propose. When Krait
returns in the morning, well go back to Wichote. Well be sailing
with the current then, and it shouldnt take more than two or three
days.
Sinews nod was guarded.
When we get there, Krait and I will trade for another little
boat like the one you have. He and I will take those two boats to
Pajarocu. You and Seawrack will wait for us in Wichote, on this
one.
No. Seawrack sounded as firm as I was ever to hear her, and
that was very firm indeed.
You wont be alone there, either of you. Furthermore, youll
have this boat to live on, together. And if Im not back within a
month or so... I shrugged.
In so low a tone that I scarcely heard him, Sinew said, I knew
you didnt want me as soon as I saw you. Only I didnt think youd
give her up to get rid of me.
Im not trying to get rid of you. Cant you get it through
your head that I may never come back? That I may die? Id like to
arrange things so that neither of you dies with me. It was so dark
by that time that it was difficult for me to see their faces; I looked
from one to the other, hoping for support.
Seawrack said, Sinews been to Pajarocu. He can take us
to it.
Sinew nodded.
I said, If you found it, so can Krait and I.
There was a long silence after that. Sinew took advantage of it
to get himself another strip of smoked meat, and I am going to
take advantage of it now to get a little sleep before Jahlee and
Evensong come.
* *
He has gone now, and I have gotten up to write this in my
nightclothes, more than half ashamed.
You said it was good that I cant drown, she began. Do
you remember that?
I did.
I said I wished I could. There was an odd, rough sound,
loud in the silence; after a moment I realized that she was scratching
Babbies ears. You thought it was foolish of me, wanting to
drown. But I dont want to drown. Ive seen a lot more drowned
people than you have, probably. Ive seen what die sea does to
them, and watched Mother eat them, and eaten them myself.
For the space of a score of breaths no voices were heard but
die winds and the rivers.
What Id like is to be able to, because you can. You think I
can wait for you in that town where the river comes to the sea. Do
you think Babbie will wait, too? Do you think he can live in the
forest until you come back, and then come back to you?
No, I dont, I said, although Babbie has surprised
me before.
You dont think hes a real person. To you hes just like Krait,
and Kraits not a real person either.
I tried to say that I did not think Babbie a person at all, that
Babbie was not a human being like Krait and the three of us. I
cannot be certain now precisely how I may have put it, although I
am quite sure I put it badly. Whatever lies I may have told, and
however I phrased diem, I made Seawrack angry.
Thats not what I said! Thats not what I said at all! Youre
twisting all the words around. You do it once or twice every day,
and Id do anything, if only I could make you stop it.
I apologize, I told her. I didnt intend to. If that isnt what
you meant, what did you mean?
Sinew began, Did she really?
She cut him off. What Im trying to say is, there are two
people on this boat you dont think are people at all, Babbie and
Krait. You dont think they are, but youre wrong. Youre wrong
about both of them.
Sinew muttered, He doesnt think Im anybody either.
Yes, he does! In the chill starlight, I could see her turn to
face him. Youve got it exacdy backwards. No wonder youre his
son.
While Sinew was wrestiing with that, she added, Its the other
part he doesnt like, the thingness. You try to be less of a person
and more of a thing because you think thats what he wants, but
its really the other way. Her voice softened. Horn?
Yes. What is it?
Tell me. Tell us both. What does it take to make a person for
you?
I shrugged, although she may not have seen it. Im not sure;
maybe Ive never thought enough about it. Maytera Marble is a person,
even if shes a machine. An infant is a person, even if it cant
talk.
I waited for Seawrack to reply, but she did not.
A while ago you said that it was talking for you. The sea
goddess spoke to you. So she was a person no matter how large
she was or how she looked, and I have to agree. Then you said that Babbie is
a person. But Babbie cant talk. I dont know what to tell
you.
Sinew asked, Babbies the hus?
Yes. Mucor gave him to me. I dont believe youve ever seen
Mucor, but you must have heard your mother and me mention her
many times.
She could just sort of be there. Look out of mirrors and
things.
Thats correct.
Seawrack said, She sounds like me. Is she very much like me,
Horn?
No.
Sinew asked, Can she do that stuff?
I was not quite certain that he was addressing me, but I said,
Do you mean Seawrack? Im no expert on what Seawrack can do.
If she says she can, she can.
I cant, Seawrack told me, but Mucor reminds me of me,
just the same.
In one way, I agree. Both of you have been very good friends
to me.
Again almost whispering, Sinew said, Ive been hearing about
Mucor ever since I was a sprat, only I thought she was just a story.
You know? Way out here, shes real. When I was in town, (he
meant New Viron) somebody said youd been to see the witch.
That was her, wasnt it? You went to see her like youd go to see
Tamarind.
Yes.
Babbie can talk, Seawrack insisted. He talks to me and to
you all the time, its just that you hardly ever pay attention.
Babbie stood and shook himself, then lay down again with his
broad, bristle-covered back against my legs and his head in my lap.
I said, Can you really speak, Babbie? and felt his head move in
reply.
You think Krait is aa monster, like an inhumi. I dont like
him either, hes not nice, but hes a person.
Sinew asked her, Is Krait the boy that looks like me?
Yes, our son.
I should have made some attempt to straighten that out, but
I did not. The hisses and whisperings of water and wind closed
around us once more while I sat silent and tense, waiting for
Sinew to fly into one of his rages. The back of my neck prickled,
and the left side of my face cringed under the regard of his unseen
eyes.
Father?
Yes. What is it?
About Mucor. Is she listening to us now?
I have no way of knowing. I suppose its possible, but I
doubt it.
In your book
Confident that he had never read it, I remained silent; and
eventually he began to explain what we had been talking about
to Seawrack. In the book, every so often Patera Silk would
wonder if Mucor was around, so hed call her. Hed say her
name, and if she was there shed answer some way. Ask him to
do it now.
I was stroking Babbies head; Seawracks hand found mine
there, and its lightest touch thrilled me. Will you Horn? Do you
want to?
No, I said. If Sinew wants Mucor called, let him call for
her himself.
Sinew was silent.
Seawrack told me, Babbies a person. Whether you know it or
not, he is. So am I.
I never doubted it.
When you go away and leave us, Babbie will go into the trees
looking for things to eat. Her fingers left mine as she pointed.
He talks now, and he picks up things to look at. You said hind
legs, and he does. He stands up when you tell him to, like to
row.
I nodded. He had been invaluable at the sweeps.
And he does anyway sometimes when he thinks were not
paying attention, so he can use his hands. When he goes into the
trees, it will be a real person going in there. But he wont be a real
person in there for very long.
I muttered, If you and Sinew will wait for me in Wichote as
I suggested, he could stay there with you. That would solve
everything.
With the sea singing down at the end of the water? I never
have told you how it was for me when you died.
I heard Sinews indrawn breath.
I thought he was dead, she told him. I was absolutely sure
he was, so sure that I didnt dare to go near his body. I watched
for a long, long time, and he lay so still and never moved once.
When it got dark I went down to the beach and took off my clothes
and threw them into the water, and talked to the little waves. And
they came up the beach, up and up, washing my feet and legs. My
knees. Pretty soon they were laughing over my head, and I couldnt
drown.
Sinew choked and coughed.
Do you like that meat?
Its good, he assured her politely, but it takes a lot of
chewing.
Just bite it off and swallow. Thats the best way.
None of us spoke much after that, or if we did, I have forgotten
what was said.
Seawrack touched my knee and whispered, He sounds just like
you.
14
PAJAROCU!
I must be brief. There really is very little time left for all this.
When the rains end, Hari Mau will fall upon the enemy, a general
advance by all our troops after a flanking action by the mercenaries.
If he wins, we will win the warand in fact the war will
be effectively over. Hari Mau will be a hero, and I have seen enough
of the whorl to know that everyone in Gaon will demand he rule.
To give him his due, I do not think that he would kill me. I know
him well; and there is nothing sneaking or ungrateful, and certainly
nothing murderous, in his character. But I will be murdered by his
friends, and everyone will be his friend.
(I remember how it was in Viron when we won.)
His friends will expect him to pardon them, and I would guess
that they will not be disappointed. If we win, I will die.
If we lose, I will die equally; and in all probability by torture.
In Han people die like that often. Why should the Man show me
more mercy than he shows his own citizens? Thus I am doomed
whether Hari Mau succeeds or fails. Nor is that all.
Our inhumi do as I ask because I have continued to free others,
eighteen so far. When the war ends, I will have no use for them,
and they will have no reason to wish me alive. With me dead, their
precious secret will be safe. (Krait, who loved me and wanted so
desperately for me to love him, can never have imagined that he
was dooming me.) I have promised over and over to give them the
locations of the remaining interments, which are concealed now by
booths and the like. When I have done so, I will be as good as
dead.
I have sent Evensong to buy a boat for me, telling her that it
will be used by a spy whose identity I cannot reveal. When she has
come back and the palace is asleep, I will go. I am still too ill to
ride far, I fear; but I will be able to manage a small boat, or hope
I will.
No, I most certainly will not. Evensong may return from her
errand at any minute. She can tell me where it is docked, and I will
give her an hour to get to sleep. An hour at most, then I will leave
Gaon forever.
So the lander first, and I will work my way backward from that
as well as I can.
Krait, Sinew, and I had places on it. So did Seawrack, but Sinew
and I had seen to it that she was not on board. We knew by then
and had hidden weapons, he his hunting knife and I the two big,
broad-bladed knives I had traded two silver pins for there in
Pajarocu.
I should say, perhaps, that I had not bought them because I
expected a fight on the lander at that time. (I assumed then that
we would not board it.) I had gotten them, one for myself and one
for Sinew, I thought, because I had resolved to get a knife of that
type when I had found the floating tree and had been forced to
chop it up with Sinews hunting knife. At that time I had not seen
the lander, and had only just recovered from the shock of my first
sight of Pajarocu, which I had, in my pitiful ignorance, imagined
would be a town like New Viron or Three Rivers. They had no
guards, and plain, somewhat roughly fitted handles of dark brown
wood; their blades were broad, but thin enough to be flexible. I
had tied them together, one hanging down my chest and the other
down my back, and the rough leather overtunic that He-pens-sheep
had made for me hid them very well.
They were taken from me, and I got instead the ancient black-bladed
sword with which I cleared the sewer of corpsesbut all
that is outside the scope of this account, unless I am permitted to
continue it on my own paper, in my own mill, on Lizard.
May the Outsider grant it!
Sinew had tied his hunting knife to his thigh under his trousers.
To tell the truth, I believed that he had my old needier as well. I
may as well admit that, which is the truth. I believed he had lied
to me about it, as he had lied to me so often about so many other
things; but the traveler who had taken our old boat and abandoned
him far up the rivers had taken my needier as well. Neither Sinew
nor I ever set eyes on him again, but we soon united in wishing
that he had boarded the lander with us, and that he had retained
his weaponmy needieras we had urged all the men boarding
the lander to do. He was a bad man without a doubt, an opportunistic
adventurer more than ready to exploit those he called
friends, and to leave them in the lurch the moment it appeared to
his advantage; but most of the men on the lander were as bad or
worse, and more than a few were much worse.
I must make that clear. Were the inhumi who controlled it
monsters? Yes. But so were we.
And, oh, but it is good. It is so very good to see him again,
and to know that when I go I will not go alone.
Good luck, Hari Mau!
Good luck, all you good folk of Gaon! You are better than most
peoples I have met, hardworking, cheerful, and brave. May Quadrifons
of the Crossroads, and all other gods both new and old, smile
on you. No doubt they do.
Having written that, I cannot help adding that the very same
things might be said with equal justice about the people of Han.
They are argumentative and love to shout their displeasure at others
(I have seen something of it in Evensong) but that does not mean
they are vindictive, and in fact they are the exact reverse, quick to
laugh and forgive everything and be friends again. They deserve a
far better government than the Mans.
Will Hari Maus be better? Beyond all question. But if Hari
Mau is wise, he will appoint one of them the new Man, some leader
whom everyone there respects, a kind and steady man, or even a
woman, who has seen life and learned moderation and compassion.
I should put that in the letter I am leaving for him, and I will.
Listen to Rajya Mantri, Hari Mau, but make your own decisions.
Let him think that you confide in him.
When you and I, with Marrow, Scleroderma and her husband,
and all the rest came here, we looted the lander that had brought
us and named the new town we hoped to build after the old city
in which we had been born, and thereafter, for the most part, forgot
it. (I remember very well how you and I had to rack our brains to
recall the names of certain streets while we were writing our book;
no doubt you do too.) We spoke of Our Holy City of Viron, or
at least our augurs did when they blessed us; but save for the fact
that it was the center of the Vironese Faith, there was nothing
particularly holy about it.
Things are very different with Pajarocu and its people. In the
Long Sun Whorl, their city seems to have been not so much a city
like Viron as a ceremonial center, the place where they assembled
on holy days and feast days. Each of the Nine had his or her lofty
manteion of stone, there was a processional road like our own Alameda,
a vast public square or plaza for open-air ceremonies, and
so on.
So attached to it were and are they that they have refused to
duplicate it here on any lesser scale, although duplicating it on its
original scale is still far beyond their reach. What they have done instead
is to duplicate its plan to perfectionwithout duplicating,
or attempting to duplicate, its substance at all.
There are streets paved with grass and fern between
buildings and manteions that are no more than
clearings in the forest marked in ways that are, to our eyes, almost
undetectable. When the adult citizens we sought to question were willing to
talk to us, they talked of gateways, walls and statues that did not in fact
existor at least, that did not exist here on Blueand described
them in as much detail as if they loomed before us, together with colossal
images of Hierax, Tartaros, and the rest, called by outlandish sobriquets
and the objects of strange, cruel veneration.
But when the streets are too badly fouled or the river rises, this
phantom Pajarocu goes elsewhere, which I think an excellent idea.
Our own Viron was built on the southern shore of Lake Limna;
when the lake retreated, our people clung to the shiprock buildings
that Pas had provided when they ought to have clung to the idea
that he had provided instead, the idea of a city by the lake. Many
(although certainly not all) of Virons troubles may ultimately have
been due to this single mistaken choice.
Listen to me, Horn and Hide. Listen all you phantom readers.
Buildings are temporary, ideas permanent. Rude as they are in so
many ways, the people of Pajarocu understand it thoroughly, and
in that respect they are wiser than we.
Seawrack complained that people in Pajarocu were forever talking,
but compared with us they are actually rather silent. The adults
never laugh unless they are talking to children, which made me
think them humorless for a timethe exact reverse of the truth.
They are muscular and agile, both the men and the women; and
many are extremely thin, so that one sees their muscles as though
the skin had been peeled away. There is a disease among them that
causes the throat to swell. At first I believed it a disease of women
only, because the first few sufferers I saw were all women; but
He-hold-fire had it, as did various other men.
No doubt that is enough, and it may be too much; but I am
going to add a few more items as they occur to me. In Viron,
Nettle, we men wear trousers and you women gowns. In Pajarocu,
women often wear trousers like men, and I was told that in the
winter they never wear gowns. In good weatherand even in
weather that you and I would think quite coola man may wear
no more than a strip of soft greenbuck skin suspended from a
thong, or nothing. Men and women bathe together in the river. I
saw this on a day when the weather was warmer than it had been
and the Short Sun shone brightly. Seawrack and I joined them,
which only one little boy and the many strangers who thronged the
town thought odd at all.
No, I will have to wait a bit to give her time to get into bed
and get to sleep.
I put my head out the window and tried to see them, although
I would have been horrified if I had. The azoth is in my sash, next
to Princess Choora. (I wonder how she likes her company?) No
needier, but that should be more than enough. I am inclined to
take my sword as well. I cannot cut firewood on a boat with the
azothit would sink her at the first attempt. When Im not using
my sword, I can stow it on the boat, provided Evensong finds one
for me. How I wish that I had the black-bladed sword the Neighbor
gave me now!
I wish that I had been able to choose the boat for myself, too.
Evensongs choice will be too large, almost certainly. Sinew crossed
the western sea in a boat that would scarcely carry Nettle and me,
with a few bales of paper.
If Evensong does not buy one at all, I will send somebody else
tomorrow night. Jahlee? Old Mehman would surely be better. The
inhumi do not understand such things, even when they make use
of them.
My inhumi have done some good things for us. Cutting loose
the barges to break that bridge on the upper river was masterly.
The Man saw no risk in moving gravel for his new road by water;
but his troopers, who were very hungry already, went hungrier still.
Starting rumors and sending false messages, too. We dug up
two of them for that. It was only just.
They are cunning, but like all cunning people they put too
much faith in cunning. That was how it was in Pajarocu, when they
allowed me to inspect their lander, never dreaming that I was the
one man in thousands who would recognize it as Auks.
That is just how it has been here, at times. Three dead so far,
Jahlee says, but she cannot know of all those whose lives have been
lost.
Then I sat up, crawled out from under the foredeck, and looked
around, hoping that she would join me and look too. I saw a man
on one of the other boats some distance away; I thought I recognized
him as one of those who had shown Seawrack, Sinew, Krait,
and me through the lander the day before, and would have hailed
him if I had not been afraid of waking others who were sleeping in
their boats just as Seawrack and I had been sleeping in ours. He
stooped and I heard a scuffle that quickly subsided; I supposed that
it had been no more than the noise he had made taking off his
boots, and told Seawrack there was nothing to fear.
The next day was the warm and sunny one I mentioned, and
was a market day besides. She and I went out to have another look
at the invisible town, and bargained for food and a few other things.
Returning to the sloop we saw twenty or thirty men, and what
appeared to be every woman and child in the town, swimming in
the river. After stowing our purchases we joined them. Seawracks
missing arm and yellow hair attracted a great deal of attention, and
the children (who were all good swimmers) were amazed to find
that she, with only one arm, could swim much faster than the fastest
of them.
One bright-eyed little boy of eight or nine asked whether I were
her father. I declared that I was, and he informed me very firmly
that foreign women were not permitted to take off their clothes.
Here lady yes. By pantomime he became a young woman,
mincing along with hands on swaying hips, then pulled a nonexistent
gown over his head. You lady, no, no! Arms folded, scowling.
It reminded me first of Maytera Marble, who had pulled off
her habit to put it on Mucor, and afterward of Chenille, who had
scandalized Patera Incus by going naked in the tunnels after she
had been sunburned during Scyllas possession. I told the boy that
some of our women did, and a little about both of them. He wanted
to know where Maytera Marble and Mucor lived, and I did my best
to explain that their rock was on the other side of the sea, which
he had never seen.
Big lady too?
Chenille? No, she and Auk went to Green. Or at least thats
what we think must have happened, since no one in New Vironthat
is my own town herehas gotten word of them. Do you understand
what I mean by Green? Its that big light in the sky at
night, and its another
He had run away.
That was when I knew, the moment at which it came to me. I
had recognized the lander earlier, as I have said. It had been one
of the Crews, and had differed in certain respects from those
provided for Cargo, landers like the one in which we had come, being
somewhat smaller and much better adapted to carrying large, non-living
loads. When we had been in Mainframe I had visited it twice
with Silk and Auk, and there was no mistaking it. I had recognized
it without understanding what its presence here signified.
But when the boy ran, I knew. I understood everything after
that.
We went back to the market, which was smaller and less well
organized than the one in Wichote, as well as substantially cheaper.
A leather worker there was making a sheath for one of the knives I
have described; I offered him a silver pin for the knife and its sheath
when he had finished sewing it, and he suggested that I take another
quite similar knife, whose sheath he had completed already.
In the end I bought them both, as you have read, intending to give
one to our son.
A fellow foreigner approached us. Meeting tonight at the
Bush. I asked what and where the Bush was, and learned that it
was an oversized hut near the river in which the local beer was sold
and drunk. A man from one of the Northern towns had brought
his wife so that she could sail his boat home, and compelled her to
keep him company while he waited, as we were all waiting, for Auks
lander to fly. She had been asleep on her husbands boat last night
while he sat drinking in the Bush, and had been bitten by an
inhumu. Tonight we would decide his punishment.
I went that night, bringing Sinew; we stayed only long enough
to have a look at the woman, who was indeed pale and weak (as
well as bruised), and displayed the marks of an inhumus fangs on
her arm, and to ask her where her boat had been moored. As we
returned to our own, Sinew said, I thought that didnt happen
here.
It puzzled me; I knew that as we had come nearer Pajarocu,
Krait had flown there nearly every night, and I had certainly
assumed that he was feeding there. I asked Sinew who had told
him so.
One of these people, when I was hanging around here before.
I told him how I got bitten when I was just a baby, and he said
they never did it here. His name is He-bring-skin.
I had already told Sinew how He-pen-sheep and his son had cut off the
breakbulls head for me. Now I said, It cant be true.
When Seawrack and I visited He-pen-sheeps camp, his daughter
had been bitten the preceding night. I dont recall her name, but
she was extremely weak. Weaker than that woman back there.
Only here in Pajarocu, Sinew explained impatiently. They
never get bitten here. Thats what he said.
But foreigners do.
I guess. She did.
We had reached the sloop by then, and were greeted with a
snort of pleasure by Babbie. Seawrack came out with her knife in
her hand. I had told her to remain aboard and get some sleep if
she could, although I do not believe she had actually slept. She
asked whether I had seen the woman.
Yes, and spoken to her, though not for long. Shell recover,
or at least I believe she will.
But you are not happy. Neither is Sinew, I think.
Youre right, Im discouraged. Like old Patera Remora, I
groped for a better word. Humbled. Silk old me once that we
should be particularly grateful for experiences that humble us, that
humiliation is absolutely necessary if were not to be consumed by
pride. He was subjected to a shower of rancid meat scraps shortly
after he came to Sun Street. Maybe Ive told you.
She shook her head; Sinew said, Sure, Scleroderma did it. You
and Mother talked about it a lot.
No doubt. Well, I can report that Im in the gods good
books, since theyve provided an unmistakable sign of their favor.
I ought to be ecstatic, but I dont feel particularly ecstatic at the
moment.
Seawrack kissed me. When we parted, I gasped for breath and said, Thank
you. Thats much better. (I can feel her lips on mine
as I write. Seawrack kissed me many times, but in retrospect all her
kisses have merged into that one. It may have been the lastI
cannot be sure.)
I dont see why youre so down, Sinew muttered. Were
here, arent we? Pajarocu? This is it. They kept stalling around when
I was here before, but now they say theyll take off any day now.
Providential, I told him bitterly. Its almost as if
theyd been waiting for us, isnt it?
You think so? He grunted skeptically, or perhaps I should
say thoughtfully. Why should they?
Because there are three of us.
Four, with Krait.
Exactly. Four, if you count Krait, and three if you dont.
Three of us risking our lives to bring back Silk, when only one of
us was sent to do it. Thats bad enough, and I havent even begun
to deal with that. What depresses me tonight is the quality of the
rest, the nature of our companions-to-be. You saw them in there,
and you must have seen a good deal of them when you spent a week here
earlier. Tell me honestlywhat do you think of them?
Seawrack murmured, They are not kind. Not like you.
Youre wrong about that, I told her. Im one of them,
and thats the most depressing fact of all. (At that moment, I nearly
confessed what I had once done to her in Sinews hearing. Whoever
has read this knows.)
He said, Whats the matter with them? He was challenging
me, as he had so often on Lizard.
Theyre drinkers, brawlers, and troublemakers. That man you
were withhe said hed rescued youthe one who took our old
boat. What was his name?
Yksin. When he was mad at me, he told me it meant alone.
He was fixing to go off and leave me then, only I didnt know it.
Its a good name for him, and it would be a good name for
all of them. Theyre outcasts who believe that its some failing in
their fellow townsmen that has made them cast them out.
A moment later I smiled, and Seawrack said, Youve thought
of something, what is it?
It was that forty such men would be quick to seize control of
the lander as soon as they suspected that it was not bound for the
Whorl. But I did not tell her, then or ever.
* *
It has always been like this for me. Once I have decided to
leave a place (as I decided, for example, to leave the hopeless little
farm that had fallen our lot) I cannot wait to be away. No doubt I
felt just the same way that night, as I sat before our fire in the sloop
with Seawrack and Sinew, trying to put my thoughts in order.
Seawrack asked Sinew whether he was a drinker, a brawler, and
a troublemaker, too; I doubt that she had any very clear idea of
what those words represented. He grinned and said no to the first
and yes to the others, adding, Ask my father. He knows me. I
did indeed, and that was when I decided not to give him the second
knife, although I had gotten it for him, until he had need of it.
Seawrack wanted to know more about the woman who had
been bitten; and I, needing desperately to speak to Sinew in private,
suggested that he and I might be able to bring her back to our
sloop so that Seawrack could talk with her in person, adding that
she and Sinew might be able to help her in some way after the
lander flew.
No! We will be on it with you. She turned to Sinew. Or
will you stay?
He shook his head. I didnt come all this way to get left
behind. When I was waiting here, I thought that if they were going to go and
Father didnt come Id go by myself and bring back Silk if I could.
Only they didnt fly and didnt fly, and so I went looking
for you.
I stood up. Well argue about this later. Meanwhile, Sinew
and I are going back to the Bush and get her. Well come back as
soon as we can.
Sinew said, Shell be looking after her husband. Theyre going
to whip him or something.
I said, It will be difficult, I know. Thats why Ill need your
help.
When we were some distance from the sloop, I halted in the
shadow of a towering tree. I cant make you obey me. I know
that.
He nodded and glanced around suspiciously. What are you
whispering for?
Because its just possible that Seawrack may have followed us.
I doubt it, but I cant be sure, and its very important that she not
overhear usthat no one does, especially the inhumi; I have reason
to think there may be inhumi about. Do you remember how He-hold-fire
told us in the lander than nobody would be permitted to
bring slug guns, needlers, or even knives? That no one was to bring
so much as a stick?
Sure, but Im hanging on to my knife just the same.
I hoped that he would not be going at all, but that was not
the time to say it. When he said that, I thought it a prudent
precaution. I reminded myself that we would be a week or more on
the lander. Clearly it wouldnt be unreasonable to suppose we
might fight among ourselves. Now I know that what they have in
mind is something much worse. Listen to me, Sinew. If youre ever
going to listen to anyone in your life, listen now. That landers not
going back to the Whorl. Its going to Green.
I had expected him to ask what led me to think so, but he did
not.
It is controlled by inhumi, and it will go to Green unless I can
redirect it with the help of the other men wholl be on it with me.
I waited for him to speak; when he remained silent I added,
You know that the inhumi fly here from Green. Maybe you also
know that the passage is a very difficult one, and that many of those
who try it are killed.
Good.
No doubt it is, but not for us. Not now. They like human
blood; and because they do, they do their best to steer human
beings to Green to supply it. Your mother and I have told you many
times how Patera Quetzal deceived us. He was an inhumu, and he
would have directed our lander to Green if he could, even though
he himself was dying.
Its in your book.
As I said, the inhumiother inhumicontrol this lander. It
must bring them from Green, and it must carry hundreds at a time.
Then
They trick us into getting on it and bring back a bunch of
us. Slowly Sinew nodded. Pretty clever.
Knowing his skepticism and stubbornness, I had thought that
it would be practically impossible to convince him. I was weak with
relief.
Theres a whole lot of inhumi around here, thats what I
think. Maybe I should have said something sooner. I saw a bunch
together one time when I was here before.
You did?
Yeah, three. They didnt know I was there, so they werent
bothering to look like people. I watched for a while until one flew
away. Then I got away myself and went looking for somebody, and
I found He-bring-skin and said theres two inhumi over there, and
if youll give me a knife Ill help kill them. Thats when he told me
they didnt bite anybodythat was what he saidin Pajarocu.
I see.
He said they had a deal. They dont bother them here, and
they dont bite. Father...?
What is it?
Youre going on their lander just the same?
Yes, I am. Krait and I will board it, as we have planned from
the beginning.
I had promised that I would not betray Kraits secret and I did
not, although I knew by then that Krait was betraying all of us.
The memory of the pit, or perhaps only my twisted sense of honor,
remained too strong.
To me this is a high and holy mission, I told Sinew. That
hasnt changed. New Viron needs the things Ive been sent to bring
back very badly. Most of all, it needs someone like Silk.
Youll get killed.
Not if I can seize control of the landerand I think I can.
I paused, collecting my thoughts. If I can, Ill have it in which to
bring Silk back. When we return, I can order it to land at New
Viron. What is even more important, the inhumi will no longer be
able to use it to come here in relative safety, or to transport human
beings to Green.
He shook his head and repeated that I would be killed.
Perhaps, but I hope not. I said I couldnt make you obey me,
and I cant. I know that. All that I can do is beg you to help me
keep Seawrack off the lander. Will you do it?
He swore that he would, and we shook hands; and after that I
hugged him as I had when he was a child.
Just a moment ago I heard the sentries at the main entrance
challenge her, and her reply. Time presses.
Next day, Sinew and I circulated among the other travelers,
telling them that we suspected that the lander might actually be
bound for Green, and urging them to bring weapons they could
conceal when they boarded. That night, he and I decided that the
best plan would be for him to sail some distance down the river
with her after telling us about a good place to gather wild berries.
I would excuse myself at the last moment, saying (quite truthfully)
that I had to bargain in the market for the food we would need on
the lander.
Best of all, she said that she was very tired and asked if I would
mind terribly if she slept in the womens quarters, offering to send
Chandi or Moti to me if I wished. I said that I was half asleep
already after having waited up for her. When Oreb croaked loudly,
Silk go! I explained that he wanted me to go to bed.
They collected our weapons, promising to return them to us as
soon as we reached the Whorl. I gave up the slug gun Marrow had
given me, ignorant of the fact that the inhumi were arming their
slaves to subdue the human settlers on Green and supposing that I
had seen the last of it. Ironically, everything we had surrendered
was loaded into one of the freight baysexactly as promised.
I should have anticipated that some of us would believe the
inhumi, and side with them. They were proud and stupid men, too
proud and too stupid to believe that they could have been so badly
deceived. Many, I would guess, had believed that the lander could
not fly, and had hoped to loot its cards when it failed. When it took
off, crushing us into our rough wooden cradles with a speed that
seemed liable to persist long after we were dead, they were ripe to
believe anything that He-hold-fire told them. The monitor, too,
said we were bound for the Whorl.
The inhumi would not let us into the cockpit, as it was called
on the Trivigaunti airship. I do not know what it should be called
on a lander.
There were three inhumi among us, besides Krait. They called
themselves the first three travelers to reach Pajarocu, and said that
He-hold-fire had put them in charge of us. One was the one I had
seen on the other boat, I believe. I demanded to know why they
would not let us into the nose one at a time. I should have killed
him (it was he I was arguing with) but I hesitated until it was too
late. He looked like a man, and I was still not certain I was correct.
Krait pretended to side with me, which made me doubt my conclusions.
I reproach myself now, as I should.
All this took longer than I have indicateda day, at least.
Except for Sinew, the others thought I was insane, or most did.
They offered to tie my hands, but those who had believed Sinew
and me would not allow it.
But I am far past our leaving Blue already, and that was as much
as I intended to write. Before I leave Gaon as well, I should explain
that Sinew had cut the halyards while Seawrack was ashore picking
berries, and returned to Pajarocu in his hollow-log boat, arriving in
the nick of time to be taken on the lander, the final passenger to
board it. My heart leaped for joy when I saw him and heard the
airlock slam shut behind him. I am ashamed of that even nowI
thought that he was going to his death and that we all werebut
how glad, how very glad, I was to see him!
I feel sure that Seawrack made what repairs she could and that
she and Babbie tried to sail the sloop back up the river. They must
have arrived much too late, if indeed they arrived at all. She has
returned to the sea now, for which I would be the last to blame
her.