Three months after leaving Earth, the URSS
Alabama had just achieved cruise velocity when the accident
occurred: Leslie Gillis woke up.
He regained consciousness slowly, as
if emerging from a long and dreamless sleep. His body, naked and
hairless, floated within the blue-green gelatin that filled the
interior of his biostasis cell, an oxygen mask covering the lower
part of his face and thin plastic tubes inserted in his arms. As his
vision cleared, Gillis saw that the cell had been lowered to a
horizontal position and that its fiberglass lid had folded open. The
lighting within the hibernation deck was subdued, yet he had to open
and close his eyes several times.
His first lucid thought was: Thank
God, I made it.
His body felt weak, his limbs stiff.
Just as he had been cautioned to do during flight training, he
carefully moved only a little at a time. As Gillis gently flexed his
arms and legs, he vaguely wondered why no one had come to his aid.
Perhaps Dr. Okada was busy helping the others emerge from biostasis.
Yet he could hear nothing save for a subliminal electrical hum; no
voices, no movement.
His next thought was: Something’s
wrong.
Back aching, his arms feeling as if
they were about to dislocate from his shoulders, Gillis grasped the
sides of the cell and tried to sit up. For a minute or so he
struggled against the phlegmatic embrace of the suspension fluid;
there was a wet sucking sound as he prized his body upward, then the
tubes went taut before he remembered that he had to take them out.
Clenching his teeth, Gillis pinched off the tubes between thumb and
forefinger and, one by one, carefully removed them from his arms.
The oxygen mask came off last; the air was frigid and it stung his
throat and lungs, and he coughed in agonized spasms as, with the
last ounce of his strength, he clambered out of the tank. His legs
couldn’t hold him, and he collapsed upon the cold floor of the
deck.
Gillis didn’t know how long he lay
curled in a fetal position, his hands tucked into his groin. He
never really lost consciousness, yet for a long while his mind
lingered somewhere between awareness and sleep, his unfocused eyes
gazing at the burnished metal plates of the floor. After awhile the
cold penetrated his dulled senses; the suspension fluid was freezing
against his bare skin, and he dully realized that if he lay here
much longer he would soon lapse into hypothermia.
Gillis rolled over on his back, forced
himself to sit up. Aquamarine fluid drooled down his body, formed a
shallow pool around his hips; he hugged his shoulders, rubbing his
chilled flesh. Once again, he wondered why no one was paying any
attention to him. Yes, he was only the communications officer, yet
there were others farther up the command hierarchy who should have
been revived by now. Kuniko Okada was the last person he had seen
before the somatic drugs entered his system; as Chief Physician, she
also would have been the last crew member to enter biostasis and the
first to emerge. She would have then brought up–Gillis sought to
remember specific details–the Chief Engineer, Dana Monroe, who would
have then ascertained that Alabama’s major systems were
operational. If the ship was in nominal condition, Captain Lee would
have been revived next, shortly followed by First Officer Shapiro,
Executive Officer Tinsley, Senior Navigator Ullman, and then Gillis
himself. Yes, that was the correct procedure.
So where was everyone else?
First things first. He was wet and
naked, and the ship’s internal temperature had been lowered to 50
degrees. He had to find some clothes. His teeth chattering, Gillis
staggered to his feet, then lurched across the deck to a nearby
locker. Opening it, he found a stack of clean white towels and a
pile of folded robes. As he wiped the moist gel from his body, he
recalled his embarrassment when his turn had come for Kuniko to
prepare him for hibernation. It was bad enough to have his body
shaved, yet when her electric razor had descended to his pubic area
he found himself becoming involuntarily aroused by her gentle touch.
Amused by his reaction, she had smiled at him in a motherly way.
Just relax, she said. Think about something else. . .
.
He turned, and for the first time saw
the rest of the biostasis cells were still upright within their
niches. Thirteen white fiberglass coffins, each resting at a
forty-five degree angle within the bulkhead walls of Deck C2A.
Electrophoretic displays on their lids emitted a warm amber glow,
showing the status of the crewmembers contained within. Here was the
Alabama’s command team, just as he had last seen them: Lee,
Shapiro, Tinsley, Okada, Monroe, Ullman. . . .
Everyone was still asleep. Everyone
except himself.
Gillis hastily pulled on a robe, then
strode across the deck to the nearest window. Its outer shutter was
closed, yet when he pressed the button that moved it upward, all he
saw were distant stars against black space. Of course, he might not
be able to see 47 Ursae Majoris from this particular porthole. He
needed to get to the command center, check the navigation
instruments.
As he turned from the window,
something caught his eye: the readout on the nearest biostasis cell.
Trembling with unease as much as cold, Gillis moved closer to
examine it. The screen identified the sleeper within as Cortez,
Raymond B.–Ray Cortez, the life-support chief–and all his
life-signs seemed normal as far as he could tell, yet that wasn’t
what attracted his attention. On the upper left side was a
time-code:
E/: 7.8.70 / 22:10:01 GMT
July 8, 2070. That was the date
everyone had entered hibernation, three days after the
Alabama had made its unscheduled departure from Highgate. On
the upper right side of the screen, though, was another
time-code:
P/: 10.3.70 / 00.21.23 GMT
October 3, 2070. Today’s date and
time.
The Alabama had been in flight
for only three months. Three months of a voyage across forty-six
light-years which, at 20 percent of light-speed, would take more 230
years to complete.
For several long minutes, Gillis
stared at the readout, unwilling to believe the evidence of his own
eyes. Then he turned and walked across the compartment to the
manhole. His bare feet slapping against the cool metal rungs, he
climbed down the ladder to the next deck of the hibernation
module.
Fourteen more biostasis cells, all
within their niches. None were open.
Fighting panic, Gillis scrambled
further down the ladder to Deck C2C. Again, fourteen closed
cells.
Still clutching at some intangible
shred of hope, Gillis quickly visited Deck C2D, then he scurried
back up the ladder and entered the short tunnel leading to the
Alabama’s second hibernation module. By the time he reached
Deck C1D, he had checked every biostasis cell belonging to the
starship’s one hundred and three remaining passengers, yet he hadn’t
found one which was open.
He sagged against a bulkhead, and for
a long time he could do nothing except tremble with fear.
He was alone.
After awhile, Gillis pulled himself
together. All right, something had obviously gone wrong. The
computers controlling the biostasis systems had made a critical
error and had prematurely awakened him from hibernation. Okay, then;
all he had to do was put himself back into the loop.
The robe he had found wasn’t very
warm, so he made his way through the circular passageway connecting
the ship’s seven ring modules until he entered C4, one of two
modules that would serve as crew quarters once the Alabama
reached 47 Ursae Majoris. He tried not to look at the rows of empty
bunks as he searched for the locker where he had stowed his personal
belongings. His blue jumpsuit was where he had left it three months
ago, hanging next to the isolation garment he had worn when he left
Gingrich Space Center to board the shuttle up to the Highgate; on a
shelf above it, next to his high-top sneakers, was the small
cardboard box containing the precious few mementos he had been
permitted to take with him. Gillis deliberately ignored the box as
he pulled on his jumpsuit; he’d look at the stuff inside once he
reached his final destination, and that wouldn’t be for another 230
years . . . 226 years, if you considered the time-dilation
factor.
The command center, located on Deck H4
within the ship’s cylindrical hub, was cold and dark. The lights had
been turned down and the rectangular windows along its circular hull
were shuttered; only the soft glow emitted by a few control panels
pierced the gloom. Gillis took a moment to switch on the ceiling
lights; spotting the environmental control station, he briefly
considered adjusting the thermostat to make things a bit warmer,
then decided against it. He had been trained as a communications
specialist; his technical understanding of the rest of the
Alabama’s major systems was cursory at best, and he was
reluctant to make any changes that might influence the ship’s
operating condition. Besides, he wasn’t staying here for very long;
once he returned to biostasis, the cold wouldn’t make much
difference to him.
All the same, it was his duty to check
the ship’s status, so he walked over to the nav table, pulled away
the plastic cover which protected its keypad, and punched up a
display of the Alabama’s present position. A bright shaft of
light appeared above the table, and within it appeared a tiny
holographic model of the ship. It floated in midair at the end of a
long curved string that led outward from the center of the
three-dimensional halo representing the orbits of the major planets
of the solar system. Moving at constant 1-g thrust, the
Alabama was already beyond the orbit of Neptune; the ship was
now passing the canted orbit of Pluto, and in a few weeks it would
cross the heliopause, escaping the last weak remnants of the Sun’s
gravitational pull as it headed into interstellar space.
The Alabama had now traveled
farther from Earth than any previous manned spacecraft; only a few
space probes had ever ventured this far. Gillis found himself
smiling at the thought. He was now the only living person–the only
conscious living person, at least–to have voyaged so far from Earth.
A feat almost worth waking up for . . . although, all things
considered, he would have preferred to sleep through it.
He moved to the engineering station,
uncovered its console, and pulled up a schematic display of the main
engine. The deuterium/helium-3 reserves that had been loaded aboard
the Alabama’s spherical main fuel tank before launch had been
largely consumed during the ninety-day boost phase, but now that the
ship had reached cruise speed, the magnetic field projected by its
Bussard ramscoop was drawing ionized interstellar hydrogen and
helium from a 4,000 kilometer radius in front of the ship, feeding
the fusion reactor at its stern and thus maintaining a constant .2c
velocity. Microsecond pulsations of the same magnetic field enabled
it to simultaneously perform as a shield, deflecting away the
interstellar dust that, at relativistic velocities, would have soon
shredded the Alabama’s hull. Gillis’s knowledge of the ship’s
propulsion systems was limited, yet his brief examination showed him
that they were operating at 90 percent efficiency.
Something softly tapped against the
floor behind him.
Startled by the unexpected sound,
Gillis turned around, peered into the semi-darkness. For a few
moments he saw nothing, then a small shape emerged from behind the
nav table: one of the spider-like autonomous maintenance robots that
constantly prowled the Alabama, inspecting its compartments
and making minor repairs. This one had apparently been attracted to
Gillis’s presence within the command deck; its eyestalks briefly
flicked in his direction, then the ’bot scuttled away.
Well, then. So much the better. The
’bot was no more intelligent than a mouse, but it reported
everything that it observed to the ship’s AI. Now that the ship was
aware that one of its passengers was awake, the time had come for
Gillis to take care of his little problem.
Gillis crossed the deck to his
customary post at the communications station. Sitting down in his
chair, he pulled away the plastic cover; a few deft taps on the
keyboard and his console glowed to life once more. Seeing the
familiar screens and readouts made him feel a little more secure;
here, at least, he knew what he was doing. He typed in the commands
that opened an interface to Alabama’s DNA-based artificial
intelligence.
Gillis, Leslie, Lt. Com. I.D. 86419-D.
Password Scotland.
The response was immediate:
I.D. confirmed. Password accepted. Good morning, Mr. Gillis.
May I help you?
Why was I awakened? Gillis
typed.
A short pause, then: Gillis,
Leslie, Lt. Com. is still in biostasis.
Gillis’s mouth fell open: What the
hell. . . ?
No, I’m not. I’m here in the command
center. You’ve confirmed that yourself.
This time, the AI’s response seemed a
fraction of a second slower. Lt. Com. Leslie Gillis is still
in biostasis. Please re-enter your I.D. and password for
reconfirmation.
Impatiently, Gillis typed: I.D.
86419-D. Password Scotland.
The AI came back at once:
Identification reconfirmed. You are Lt. Com. Leslie
Gillis.
Then you agree that I’m no longer in
biostasis.
No. Lt. Com. Leslie Gillis remains in
biostasis. Please re-enter your I.D. and password for
reconfirmation.
Gillis angrily slammed his hands
against the console. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath, then
forced himself to think this through as calmly as he could. He was
dealing with an AI; it might be conditioned to respond to questions
posed to it in plain English, yet nonetheless it was a machine,
operating with machine-like logic. Although he had to deal with it
on its own terms, nonetheless he had to establish the
rules.
I.D. 86419-D. Password
Scotland.
Identification reconfirmed. You are
Lt. Com. Leslie Gillis.
Please locate Lt. Com. Leslie
Gillis.
Lt. Com. Leslie Gillis is in biostasis
cell C1A-07.
Okay, now they were getting somewhere
. . . but this was clearly wrong, in more ways than one. He had just
emerged from a cell located on Deck A of Module C2.
Who is the occupant of biostasis cell
C2A-07?
Gunther, Eric,
Ensign/FSA
The name was unfamiliar, but the
suffix indicated that he was a Federal Space Agency ensign. A member
of the flight crew who had been ferried up to the Alabama
just before launch, but probably not one of the conspirators who had
hijacked the ship.
Gillis typed: There has been a
mistake. Eric Gunther is not in cell C2A-07, and I am not in cell
C1A-07. Do you understand?
Another pause, then:
Acknowledged. Biostasis cell assignments rechecked with
secondary data system. Correction: cell C1A-07 presently occupied by
Eric Gunther.
Gillis absently gnawed on a
fingernail; after a few minutes he developed a possible explanation
for the switch. Captain Lee and the other conspirators had smuggled
almost fifty dissident intellectuals on board just before the
Alabama fled Earth; since none of them had been listed in the
ship’s original crew manifest, the D.I.’s had to be assigned to
biostasis cells previously reserved for the members of the
colonization team who had been left behind on Earth. Gillis could
only assume that, at some point during the confusion, someone had
accidentally fed erroneous information to the computer controlling
the biostasis systems. Therefore, although he was originally
assigned to C1A-07 while Ensign Gunther was supposed to be in
C2A-07, whoever had switched his and Gunther’s cells had also
neglected to cross-feed this information from the biostasis control
system to the ship’s AI. In the long run, it was a small matter of
substituting one single digit for another. . . .
Yet this didn’t answer the original
question: why had he been prematurely revived from biostasis? Or
rather, why was Gunther supposed to be revived?
Why did you revive the occupant of
cell C2A-07?
CLASSIFIED/TS. ISA Order
7812-DA
What the. . . ? Why was there an
Internal Security Agency lock-out? Yet he was able to get around
that.
Security override AS-001001, Gillis,
Leslie, Lt. Com. password Scotland. Repeat question: why did you
revive the occupant of cell C2A-07?
CLASSIFIED/TS: OPEN. Ensign Gunther
was to confirm Presidential launch authorization via secure
communication channel. Upon failure to confirm authorization by
7.5.70/00.00, Ensign Gunther was to be revived from biostasis at
10.3.70/00.00 and given the option of terminating the
mission.
Gillis stared at the screen for a long
while, comprehending what he had just read but nonetheless not quite
believing it. This could only mean one thing: Gunther had been an
ISA mole placed aboard the Alabama for the purpose of
assuring that the ship wasn’t launched without Presidential
authorization. However, since Captain Lee had ordered Gillis himself
to shut down all modes of communication between Mission Control and
the Alabama, Gunther hadn’t been able to send a covert
transmission back to Earth. Therefore the AI had been programmed to
revive him from biostasis ninety days after launch.
At this point, though, Gunther
wouldn’t have been able to simply turn the ship around even if he’d
wanted to do so. The Alabama was too far from Earth, its
velocity too high, for one person to accomplish such a task on his
own. So there was no mistake what "terminating the mission" meant;
Gunther was supposed to have destroyed the
Alabama.
A loyal citizen of the United Republic
of America, even to the point of suicide. Indeed, Gillis had little
doubt that the Republic’s official press agency had already reported
the loss of the Alabama, and that FSA spokesmen were issuing
statements to the effect that the ship had suffered a catastrophic
accident.
Since no one else aboard, the ship
knew about Gunther’s orders, the AI’s hidden program hadn’t been
deleted from memory. On one hand, at least he had been prevented
from carrying out his suicide mission. On the other, Gunther would
remain asleep for the next 230 years while Gillis was now
wide-awake.
Very well. So now all he had to do was
join him in biostasis. Once he woke up again, Gillis could inform
Captain Lee of what he had learned, and let him decide what to do
with Ensign Gunther.
There has been a mistake. I was not
supposed to be revived at this time. I have to return to biostasis
immediately.
A pause, then: This is not
possible. You cannot return to biostasis.
Gillis’s heart skipped a
beat.
I repeat: there has been a mistake.
There was no reason to revive the person in cell C2A-07. I was the
occupant of cell C2A-07, and I need to return to biostasis at
once.
I understand the situation. The crew
manifest has been changed to reflect this new information. However,
it is impossible for you to return to biostasis.
His hands trembled upon the keyboard:
Why not?
Protocol does not allow for the
occupant of cell C2A-07 to resume biostasis. This cell has been
permanently deactivated. Resumption of biostasis is not
admissible.
Gillis suddenly felt as if a hot towel
had been wrapped around his face. Security override B-001001,
Gillis, Leslie, Lt. Com. Password Scotland. Delete protocol
immediately.
Password accepted, Lt. Gillis.
Protocol cannot be deleted without direct confirmation of
Presidential launch authorization, and may not be rescinded by
anyone other than Ensign Gunther.
Anger surged within him. He
typed: Revive Ensign Gunther at once. This is an
emergency.
No members of the crew may be revived
from biostasis until the ship has reached its final destination
unless there is a mission-critical emergency. All systems are at
nominal status: there is no mission-critical
emergency.
Eric Gunther. Eric Gunther lay asleep
on Deck C1A. Yet even if he could be awakened from hibernation and
forced to confess his role, there was little he could do about it
now. The long swath of ionized particles the Alabama left in
its wake rendered impossible radio communications with Earth; any
signals received by or sent from the starship would be fuzzed out
while the fusion engines were firing, and the Alabama would
remain under constant thrust for the next 230 years.
If I don’t return to biostasis, then
I’ll die. This is an emergency. Do you understand?
I understand your situation, Mr.
Gillis. However, it does not pose a mission-critical emergency. I
apologize for the error.
Reading this, Gillis found himself
smiling. The smile became a grin, and from somewhere within his grin
a wry chuckle slowly fought through. The chuckle evolved into
hysterical laughter, for by now Gillis had realized the irony of his
situation.
He was the Chief Communications
Officer of the URSS Alabama. And he was doomed because he
couldn’t communicate.
Gillis had his pick of any berth
aboard the ship, including Captain Lee’s private quarters, yet he
chose the bunk that had been assigned to him; it only seemed right.
He reset the thermostat to 71 degrees, then he took a long, hot
shower. Putting on his jumpsuit again, he returned to his berth, lay
down, and tried to sleep. Yet every time he shut his eyes, new
thoughts entered his mind, and soon he would find himself staring at
the bunk above him. So he lay there for a long time, his hands
folded together across his stomach as he contemplated his
situation.
He wouldn’t asphyxiate nor perish from lack of
water. Alabama’s closed-loop life-support system would purge
the carbon dioxide from the ship’s air and recirculate it as
breathable oxygen-nitrogen, and his urine would be purified and
recycled as potable water. Neither would he freeze to death in the
dark; the fusion engines generated sufficient excess energy for him
to be able to run the ship’s internal electrical systems without
fear of exhausting its reserves. Nor would he have to worry about
starvation; there were enough rations aboard to feed a crew of 104
passengers for twelve months, which meant that one person would have
enough to eat for over a century.
Yet there was little chance that he
would last that long. Within their biostasis cells, the remaining
crew members would be constantly rejuvenated, their natural aging
processes held at bay through homeostatic stem-cell regeneration,
teleomerase enzyme therapy, and nanotechnical repair of vital
organs, while infusion of somatic drugs would keep them in a
coma-like condition that would deprive them of subconscious
dream-sleep. Once they reached 47 Ursae Majoris, they would emerge
from hibernation–even that term was a misnomer, for they would never
stir from their long rest–just the same way as they had been when
they entered the cells
Not so for him. Now that he was
removed from biostasis, he would continue to age normally. Or at
least as normally as one would while traveling at relativistic
velocity; if he were suddenly spirited back home and was met by a
hypothetical twin brother–no chance of that happening; like so many
others aboard, Gillis was an only child–he would discover that he
had aged only a few hours less than his sibling. Yet that gap would
gradually widen the farther Alabama traveled from Earth, and
even the Lorentz factor wouldn’t save him in the long run, for
everyone else aboard the ship was aging at the same rate; the only
difference was that their bodies would remain perpetually youthful,
while his own would gradually break down, grow old . .
.
No. Gillis forcefully shut his
eyes. Don’t think about it.
But there was no way of getting around
it: he was now living under a death sentence. Yet a condemned man in
solitary confinement has some sort of personal contact, even if it’s
only the fleeting glimpse of a guard’s hand as he shoves a tray of
food through the cell door. Gillis didn’t have that luxury. Never
again would he ever hear another voice, see another face. There were
a dozen or so people back home he had loved, and another dozen or so
he had loathed, and countless others he had met, however briefly,
during the twenty-eight years he had spent on Earth. All gone, lost
forever. . . .
He sat up abruptly. A little too
abruptly; he slammed the top of his head against the bunk above him.
He cursed beneath his breath, rubbed his skull–a small bump beneath
his hair, nothing more–then he swung his legs over the side of his
bunk, stood up, and opened his locker. His box was where he had last
seen it; he took it down from the shelf, started to open it. . .
.
And then he stopped himself. No. If he
looked inside now, the things he’d left in there would make him only
more miserable than he already was. His fingers trembled upon the
lid. He didn’t need this now. He shoved the box back into the locker
and slammed the door shut behind it. Then, having nothing else
better to do, he decided to take a walk.
The ring corridor led him around the
hub to Module C7, where he climbed down to the mess deck: long empty
benches, walls painted in muted earth tones. The deck below
contained the galley: chrome tables, cooking surfaces, empty warm
refrigerators. He located the coffee maker, but there was no coffee
to be found, so he ventured further down the ladder to the ship’s
med deck. Antiseptic white-on-white compartments, the examination
beds covered with plastic sheets; cabinets contained
cellophane-wrapped surgical instruments, gauze and bandages, and
rows of plastic bottles containing pharmaceuticals with arcane
labels. He had a slight headache, so he searched through them until
he found some ibuprofen; he took the pill without water and lay down
for a few minutes.
After awhile his headache went away,
so he decided to check out the wardroom on the bottom level. It was
sparsely furnished, only a few chairs and tables beneath a pair of
wallscreens, with a single couch facing a closed porthole. One of
the tables folded open to reveal a holographic game board; he
pressed a button marked by a knight piece and watched as a chess set
materialized. He used to play chess assiduously when he was a
teenager, but had gradually lost interest as he grew older. Perhaps
it was time to pick it up again. . . .
Instead, though, he went over to the
porthole. Opening the shutter, he gazed out into space. Although
astronomy had always been a minor hobby, he could see none of the
familiar constellations; this far from Earth, the stars had changed
position so radically that only the AI’s navigation subroutine could
accurately locate them. Even the stars were strangers now; this
revelation made him feel even more lonely, so he closed the shutter.
He didn’t bother to turn off the game table before he left the
compartment.
As he walked along the ring corridor,
he came up on a lone ’bot. It quickly scuttled out of his way as he
approached, but Gillis squatted down on his haunches and tapped his
fingers against the deck, trying to coax it closer. The robot’s
eyestalks twitched briefly toward him; for a moment, it seemed to
hesitate, then it quickly turned away and went up the circular
passageway. It had no reason to have any interaction with humans,
even those who desired its company. Gillis watched the ’bot as it
disappeared above the ceiling, then he reluctantly rose and
continued up the corridor.
The cargo modules, C5 and C6, were
dark and cold, deck upon deck of color-coded storage lockers and
shipping containers. He found the crew rations on Deck C5A; sliding
open one of the refrigerated lockers, he took a few minutes to
inspect its contents: vacuum-sealed plastic bags containing
freeze-dried substances identified only by cryptic labels. None of
it looked very appetizing; the dark-brown slab within the bag he
pulled out at random could have been anything from processed beef to
chocolate cake. He wasn’t hungry yet, so he shoved it back in and
slammed the locker shut.
Gillis returned to the ring corridor
and walked to the hatch leading to the hub access shaft. As he
opened the hatch, though, he hesitated before grasping the top rung
of the shaft’s recessed ladder. He had climbed down the shaft once
before already, yet he had been so determined to reach the command
deck that he had failed to recognize it for what it was, a narrow
well almost a hundred feet deep. While the Alabama was moored
at Highgate and in zero-gee, everyone aboard had treated it as a
tunnel, yet now what had once been horizontal was now
vertical.
He looked down. Far below, five levels
beneath him, lay the hard metal floor of Deck H5. If his hands ever
slipped on the ladder, if his feet failed to rest safely upon one of
its rungs, then he could fall all the way to the bottom. He would
have to be careful every time he climbed the shaft, for if he ever
had an accident. . . .
The trick was never looking down. He
purposely watched his hands as he made his way down the
ladder.
Gillis meant to stop on H2 and H3 to
check the engineering and life-support decks, yet somehow he found
himself not stopping until he reached H5.
The EVA deck held three airlocks. To
his right and left were the hatches leading to the Alabama’s
twin shuttles, the Wallace and the Helms. Gillis gazed
through porthole at the Helms; the spaceplane was nestled
within its docking cradle, its delta wings folded beneath its broad
fuselage, its bubble canopy covered by shutters. For a moment, he
had an insane urge to steal the Helms and fly it back home,
yet that was clearly impossible; the shuttles only had sufficient
fuel and oxygen reserves for orbital sorties. He wouldn’t get so far
as even Neptune, let alone Earth. And besides, he had never been
trained to pilot a shuttle.
Turning away from the porthole, he
caught sight of another airlock located on the opposite side of the
deck. This one didn’t lead to a shuttle docking collar; it was the
airlock that led outside the ship.
Reluctantly, almost against his own
will, Gillis found himself walking toward it. He twisted the
lockwheel to undog the inner hatch, then pulled it open and stepped
inside. The airlock was a small white compartment barely large
enough to hold two men wearing hardsuits. On the opposite side was
the tiger-striped outer hatch with a small control panel mounted on
the bulkhead next to it. The panel had only three major
buttons–Pres., Purge, and Open–and above them were
three lights: green, orange, and red. The green light was now lit,
showing that the inner hatch was open and the airlock was safely
pressurized.
The airlock was cold. The rest of the
ship had warmed up by now, but here Gillis could feel the arctic
chill creeping through his jumpsuit, see every exhalation as ghostly
wisps rising past his face. He didn’t know how long he remained
there, yet he regarded the three buttons for a very long
time.
After awhile, he realized that his
stomach was beginning to rumble, so he backed out of the
compartment. He carefully closed the inner hatch, and lingered
outside the airlock for another minute or so before he decided that
this was one part of the ship he didn’t want to visit very
often.
Then he made the long climb back up
the access shaft.
There were chronometers everywhere,
displaying both Greenwich Mean Time and relativistic shiptime. On
the second day after revival, Gillis decided that he’d rather not
know what the date was, so he found a roll of black electrical tape
and went through the entire ship, masking every clock he could
find.
There were no natural day or night
cycles aboard the ship. He slept when he was tired, and got out of
bed when he felt like it. After awhile, he found that he was
spending countless hours lying in his bunk, doing nothing more than
staring at the ceiling, thinking about nothing. This wasn’t good, so
he made a regular schedule for himself.
He reset the ship’s internal lighting
so that it turned on and off at twelve-hour intervals, giving him an
semblance of sunrise and sunset. He started his mornings by jogging
around the ring corridor, keeping it up until his legs ached and his
breath came in ragged gasps, and then sprinting the final
lap.
Next he would take a shower, and then
attend to himself. When his beard began to grow back, he made a
point of shaving every day, and when his hair started to get a
little too long he trimmed it with a pair of surgical scissors he
found in the med deck; the result was a chopped, butch-cut look, but
so long as he managed to keep the hair out of his eyes and off his
neck he was satisfied. Otherwise, he tried to avoid looking closely
at himself in the mirror.
Once he was dressed, he would visit
the galley to make breakfast: cold cereal, rehydrated vegetable
juice, a couple of fruit squares, a mug of hot coffee. He liked to
open a porthole and look out at the stars while he ate.
Then he would go below to the wardroom
and activate the wallscreens. He was able to access countless hours
of datafiche through the AI’s library subroutine, yet precious
little of it was intended for entertainment. Instead, what he found
were mainly tutorials: service manuals for the Alabama’s
major operating systems, texts on agriculture, astrobiology, land
management, academic studies of historical colonies on Earth, so
forth and so on. Nonetheless he devoted himself to studying
everything he could find, pretending as if he was once again a
first-year plebe at the Academy of the Republic, memorizing
everything and then silently quizzing himself to make sure he got it
right. Perhaps it was pointless–there was no reason for him to learn
about organic methods of soybean cultivation–yet it helped to keep
his mind occupied.
Although he learned much about the
Alabama’s biostasis systems he hadn’t known before, he never
found anything that would help him return to hibernation. He
eventually returned to Deck C2B, closed the hatch of his former
cell, and returned it to its niche. After that, he tried not to go
there again; like the EVA airlock on Deck H5, this was a place that
made him uncomfortable.
When he was tired of studying, he
would play chess for hours upon end, matching his wits against the
game system. The outcome was always inevitable, for the computer
could never be defeated, but he gradually learned how to anticipate
its next move and forestall another loss for at least a little while
longer.
The food was bland, preprocessed
stuff, artificial substitutes for meat, fruit, and vegetables meant
to remain edible after years of long-term freezer storage, but he
did the best to make dinner more tolerable. Once he learned how to
interpret the labels, he selected a variety of different rations and
moved them to the galley. He spent considerable time and effort
making each meal a little better, or at least different, from the
last one; often the results were dismal, but now and then he managed
to concoct something he wouldn’t mind eating again–stir-fried
chicken and pineapple over linguine, for instance, wasn’t as strange
as he thought it might be–and then he could type the recipe into the
galley computer for future reference.
While wandering through the ship in
search of something else to divert his attention, he found a canvas
duffel bag. It belonged to Jorge Montero, one of the D.I.’s who had
helped the Alabama escape from Earth; apparently he had
managed to bring a small supply of books with him. Most were
wilderness-survival manuals of one sort of another, yet among them
were a few twentieth-century classics: J. Bronowski’s The Ascent
of Man, Kenneth Brower’s The Starship and the Canoe,
Frank Herbert’s Dune. Gillis took them back to his berth and
put them aside as bedtime reading.
On occasion, he would visit the
command deck. The third time he did this, the nav table showed him
that the Alabama had crossed the heliopause; the ship was now
traveling through interstellar space, the dark between the stars.
Because the ramscoop blocked the view, there were no windows that
faced directly ahead, yet he learned how to manipulate the cameras
located on the fuel tank until they displayed a real-time image
forward of the ship’s bow. It appeared as if the stars directly in
front had clustered together, the Doppler effect causing them to
form short comet-like tails tinged with blue. Yet when he rotated
the camera to look back the way he had come, he saw that an
irregular black hole had opened behind the Alabama; the Sun
and all its planets, including Earth, had become
invisible.
This was one more thing that disturbed
him, so he seldom activated the cameras.
He slept, and he jogged, and he ate,
and he studied, and he played long and futile chess games, and
otherwise did everything possible to pass the time as best he could.
Every now and then he caught himself murmuring to himself, carrying
on conversations with only his own mind as a companion; when this
happened, he would consciously shut up. Yet no matter how far he
managed to escape from himself, he always had to return to the
silence of the ship’s corridors, the emptiness of its
compartments.
He didn’t know it then, but he was
beginning to go insane.
His jumpsuit began to get worn out. It
was the only thing he had to wear, though, besides his robe, so he
checked the cargo manifest and found that clothing was stowed in
Deck C5C, and it was while searching for them that he discovered the
liquor supply.
There wasn’t supposed to be any booze
aboard the Alabama, yet nonetheless someone had managed to
smuggle two cases of scotch, two cases of vodka, and one case of
champagne onto the ship. They were obviously put there to help the
crew celebrate their safe arrival at 47 Ursae Majoris; Gillis found
them stashed among the spare clothing.
He tried to ignore the liquor for as
long as possible; he had never been much of a drinker, and he didn’t
want to start now. But several days later, after another attempt at
making beef stroganoff resulted in a tasteless mess of half-cooked
noodles and beef-substitute, he found himself wandering back to C5C
and pulling out a bottle of scotch. He brought it back to the
wardroom, poured a couple of fingers in a glass and stirred in some
tapwater, then sat down to play another game of chess. After his
second drink, he found himself feeling more at ease than he had
since his untimely awakening; the next evening, he did the same
thing again.
That was the beginning of his dark
times.
"Cocktail hour" soon became the
highlight of his day; after awhile, he found no reason to wait until
after dinner, and instead had his first drink during his afternoon
chess game. One morning he decided that a glass of champagne would
be the perfect thing to top off his daily run, so he opened a bottle
after he showered and shaved, and continued to indulge himself
during the rest of the day. He discovered that powdered citrus juice
was an adequate mixer for vodka, so he added a little of that to his
morning breakfast, and it wasn’t long before he took to carrying
around a glass of vodka wherever he went. He tried to ration the
liquor supply as much as he could, yet he found himself depressed
whenever he finished a bottle, and relieved to discover that there
always seemed to be one more to replace it. At first he told himself
that he had to leave some for the others–after all, it was meant for
their eventual celebration–but in time that notion faded to the back
of his mind, and was finally forgotten altogether.
He went to sleep drunk, often in the
wardroom, and awoke to nasty hangovers that only a hair of the dog
could help dispel. His clothes began to smell of stale booze; he
soon got tired of washing them, and simply found another jumpsuit to
wear. Unwashed plates and cookware piled up in the galley sink, and
it always seemed as if there were empty or half-empty glasses
scattered throughout the ship. He stopped jogging after awhile, but
he didn’t gain much weight because he had lost his appetite and was
now eating less than before. And every day, he found a new source of
irritation: the inconvenient times when the lights turned on and
off, or how the compartments always seemed too hot or too cold, or
why he could never find something that he needed.
One night, frustrated at having lost
at chess yet again, he picked up his chair and slammed it through
the game table’s glass panel. He was still staring at the wrecked
table when one of the ’bots arrived to investigate; deciding that
its companionship was better than none at all, he sat down on the
floor and tried to get it to come closer, cooing to it in the same
way he had summoned his puppy back when he was a boy. The ’bot
ignored him completely, and that enraged him even further, so he
found an empty champagne bottle and used it to demolish the machine.
Remarkably, the bottle remained intact even after the ’bot had
become a broken, useless thing in the middle of the wardroom floor;
even more remarkably, it didn’t shatter the porthole when Gillis
hurled it against the window.
He didn’t remember what happened after
that; he simply blacked out. The next thing he knew, he was sprawled
across the floor of the airlock.
The harsh clang of an alarm threatened
to split his skull in half. Dully surprised to find where he was, he
clumsily raised himself up on his elbows and regarded his
surroundings through swollen eyes. He was naked; his jumpsuit lay in
an heap just within the inner hatch, which was shut. There was a
large pool of vomit nearby, but he couldn’t recall having thrown up
any more than he could remember getting here from the
wardroom.
Lights strobed within the tiny
compartment. Rolling over on his side, he peered at the control
panel next to the outer hatch. The orange button in its center was
lit, and the red one beneath it flashed on and off. The airlock was
ready to be opened without prior decompression; this was what had
triggered the alarm.
Gillis had no idea how he got here,
but it was obvious what he had almost done. He crawled across the
airlock floor and slapped his hand against the green button; that
stopped the alarm. Then he opened the inner hatch and, without
bothering to pick up his discarded jumpsuit, staggered out of the
airlock. He couldn’t keep his balance, though, so he fell to his
hands and knees and threw up again.
Then he rolled over on his side,
curled in upon himself, and wept hysterically until sleep mercifully
came to him. Naked and miserable, he passed out on the floor of the
EVA deck.
The following day, Gillis methodically
went through the entire ship, gathering the few remaining bottles
and returning them to the locker where he had found them. Although
he was tempted to jettison them into space, he was scared to return
to Deck H5. Besides, there wasn’t much booze left; during his long
binge, he had managed to put away all but two bottles of scotch, one
bottle of vodka, and four bottles of champagne.
The face that stared back at him from
the mirror was unshaven and haggard, its eyes rimmed with dark
circles. He was too tired to get rid of the beard, though, so he
clipped it short with his scissors and let his hair remain at
shoulder length. It was a new look for him, and he couldn’t decide
whether he liked it or not. Not that he cared much any
more.
It took a couple of days for him to
want to eat again, and even longer before he had a good night’s
sleep. More than a few times he was tempted to have another drink,
but the memory of that terrifying moment in the airlock was enough
to keep him away from the bottle.
Yet he never returned to the daily
schedule he had previously set for himself. He lost interest in his
studies, and he watched the few movies stored in the library until
he found himself able to recite the characters’ lines from memory.
The game table couldn’t be repaired, so he never played chess again.
He went jogging now and then, but only when there was nothing else
to do, and not for very long.
He spent long hours lying on his bunk,
staring into the deepest recesses of his memory. He replayed events
from his childhood–small incidents with his mother and father, the
funny and stupid things he had done when he was a kid–and thought
long and hard about the mistakes he had made during his journey to
adulthood. He thought about the girls he had known, refought old
quarrels with ancient enemies, remembered good times with old
friends, yet in the end he always came back to where he
was.
Sometimes he went down to the command
deck. He had long since given up on trying to have meaningful
conversation with the AI; it only responded to direct questions, and
even then in a perfunctory way. Instead, he opened the porthole
shutters, and slumped in Captain Lee’s chair while he stared at the
distant and motionless stars.
One day, on impulse, he got up from
the chair and walked to the nearest console. He hesitated for a
moment, then he reached down and gently peeled back the strip of
black tape he had fastened across the chronometer. It
read:
P:/ 4.17.71 / 18.32.06 GMT
April 17, 2071. A little more six
months had gone by since his awakening.
He could have sworn it had been six
years.
That evening, Gillis prepared dinner
with special care. He selected the best cut of processed beef he
could find in the storage locker and marinated it in a pepper sauce
he had learned to make, and carefully sautéed the dried garlic
before he added it to the mashed potatoes; while the asparagus
steamed in lemon juice, he grilled the beef to medium-rare
perfection. Earlier in the afternoon he had chosen a bottle of
champagne from the liquor supply, which he put aside until
everything else was ready. He cleaned up the wardroom and laid a
single setting for himself at a table facing the porthole, and just
before dinner he dimmed the ceiling lights.
He ate slowly, savoring every bite,
closing his eyes from time to time as he allowed his mind’s eye to
revisit some of the fine restaurants at which he had once dined: a
steakhouse in downtown Kansas City, a five-star Italian restaurant
in Boston’s Beacon Hill neighborhood, a seafood place on St. Simon’s
Island where the lobster came straight from the wharf. When he gazed
out the porthole he didn’t attempt to pick out constellations, but
simply enjoyed the silent majesty of the stars; when he was through
with dinner, he carefully laid his knife and fork together on his
plate, refilled his glass with champagne, and walked over to a
couch, where he had earlier placed one last thing to round off a
perfect evening.
Gillis had deliberately refrained from
opening the box he kept in his locker; even during his worst
moments, the lowest depths of his long binge, he had deliberately
stayed away from it. Now the time had come for him to open the box,
see what was inside.
He pulled out the photographs one at a
time, studying them closely as he remembered the places where they
had been taken, the years of his life that they represented. Here
was his father; here was his mother; here he was at age seven,
standing in the backyard of his childhood home in North Carolina,
proudly holding aloft a toy spaceship he had been given for his
birthday. Here was a snapshot of the first girl he had ever loved;
here were several photos he had taken of her during a camping trip
to the Smoky Mountains. Here was himself in his dress uniform during
graduation exercises at the Academy; here he was during flight
training in Texas. These images, and many more like them, were all
he had brought with him from Earth: pictures from his past, small
reminders of the places he had gone, the people whom he had known
and loved.
Looking through them, he tried not to
think about what he was about to do. He had reset the thermostat to
lower the ship’s internal temperature to 50 degrees at midnight, and
he had instructed the AI to ignore the artificial day-night cycle he
had previously programmed. He had left a note in Captain Lee’s
quarters, informing him that Eric Gunther was a saboteur and
apologizing for having deprived the rest of the crew of rations and
liquor. He would finish this bottle of champagne, though; no sense
in letting it go to waste, and perhaps it would be easier to push
the red button if he was drunk.
His life was over. There was nothing
left for him. A few moments of agony would be a fair exchange for
countless days of lonesome misery.
Gillis was still leafing through the
photographs when he happened to glance up at the porthole, and it
was at that moment when he noticed something peculiar: one of the
stars was moving.
At first, he thought the champagne was
getting to him. That, or it was a refraction of starlight caused by
the tears which clung to the corners of his eyes. He returned his
attention to a picture he had taken of his father shortly before he
died. Then, almost reluctantly, he raised his head once
more.
The window was filled with stars, all
of them stationary . . . save one.
A bright point of light, so brilliant
that it could have been a planet, perhaps even a comet. Yet the
Alabama was now far beyond the Earth’s solar system, and the
stars were too distant to be moving relative to the ship’s velocity.
Yet this one seemed to be following a course parallel to his
own.
His curiosity aroused, Gillis watched
the faraway light as it moved across the starscape. The longer he
looked at it, the more it appeared as if it had a faint blue-white
tail; it might be a comet, but if it was, it was headed in the wrong
direction. Indeed, as he continued to study it, the light became a
little brighter and seemed to make a subtle shift in direction,
almost as if . . .
The photos fell to the floor as he
rushed toward the ladder.
By the time he reached the command
deck, though, the object had vanished.
Gillis spent the next several hours
searching the sky, using the navigational telescope in an attempt to
catch another glimpse of the anomaly. When optical methods failed,
he went to his com station and ran the broad-band selector up and
down across the radio spectrum in an effort to locate a repeating
signal against the warbling background noise of space. He barely
noticed that the deck had become colder, that the ceiling lights had
shut off; his previous intentions now forgotten, he had neglected to
tell the AI that he had changed his mind.
The object had disappeared as quickly
as it had appeared, yet he was absolutely certain of what he had
seen. It wasn’t a hallucination, of that he was positive, and the
more he thought about it, the more convinced he became that what he
had spotted wasn’t a natural object but a spacecraft, briefly
glimpsed from some inestimable distance–a thousand kilometers? ten
thousand? a million?–as it passed the Alabama.
Yet where had it come from? Not from
Earth, of that he could only be certain. Who was aboard, and where
was it going? His mind conjured countless possibilities as he washed
his dinner dishes, then went about preparing an early breakfast he
had never expected to eat. Why hadn’t it come closer? He considered
this as he lay on his bunk, his hands propped behind his head.
Perhaps it hadn’t seen the Alabama. Might he ever see it
again? Not likely, he eventually decided . . . yet if there was one,
wasn’t there always a possibility that there might be
others?
He realized that he had to record this
incident, so that the rest of the crew would know what he had
observed. Yet when he returned to the command deck and began to type
a report into the ship’s log, he discovered that words failed him.
Confronted by a blank flatscreen, everything he wrote seemed hollow
and lifeless, nothing evoking the mysterious wonder of what he had
observed. It was then that he realized that, during the six long
months he had been living within the starship, never once had he
ever attempted to write a journal.
Not that there had been much worth
recording for posterity: he woke up, he ate, he jogged, he studied,
he got drunk, he considered suicide. Yet it seemed as if everything
had suddenly changed. Only yesterday he had been ready to walk into
the airlock, close his eyes, and jettison himself into the void.
Now, he felt as if he had been given a new reason to live . . . but
that reason only made sense if he left something behind besides an
unmade bunk and a half-empty champagne bottle.
He couldn’t write on a screen, though,
so he searched through the cargo lockers until he found what he
needed: a supply of blank ledger books, intended for use by the
quartermaster to keep track of expedition supplies, along with a box
of pens. Much to his surprise, he also discovered a couple of
sketchbooks, some charcoal pencils, and a watercolor paint kit;
someone back on Earth apparently had the foresight to splurge a few
kilos on rudimentary art supplies.
Gillis carried a ledger and a couple
of pens back to the wardroom. Although the game table was ruined, it
made a perfect desk once its top was shut. He rearranged the
furniture so that the table faced the porthole. For some reason,
writing in longhand felt more comfortable; after a couple of false
starts, which he impatiently scratched out, he was finally able to
put down a more or less descriptive account of what he had seen the
night before, followed by a couple of pages of informal conjecture
of what it might have been.
When he was done, his back hurt from
having bent over the table for so long, and there now was a sore
spot between the index and middle fingers of his right hand where he
had gripped his pen. Although he had nothing more to say,
nonetheless he had the need to say more; putting words to paper had
been a release unlike any he had felt before, an experience that had
transported him, however temporarily, from this place to somewhere
else. His body was tired but his mind was alive; despite his
physical exhaustion, he felt a longing for something else to
write.
He didn’t know it then, but he was
beginning to go sane.
As Gillis gradually resumed the daily
schedule he had established for himself before the darkness had set
in, he struggled to find something to write about. He tried to start
a journal, but that was futile and depressing. He squandered a few
pages on an autobiography before he realized that writing about his
life made him self-conscious; in the end he ripped those pages from
the ledger and threw them away. His poetry was ridiculous; he almost
reconsidered a trip to the airlock when he re-read the tiresome
doggerel he had contrived. In desperation he jotted down a list of
things that he missed, only to realize that it was not only trivial
but even more embarrassing than his autobiography. That too ended in
the wastebin.
For long hours he sat at his makeshift
desk, staring through the porthole as he aimlessly doodled, making
pictures of the bright star he had seen that eventful night. More
than a few times he was tempted to find a bottle of scotch and get
drunk, yet the recollection of what he had nearly done to himself
kept him away from the liquor. More than anything else, he wanted to
write something meaningful, at least to himself if not for anyone
else, yet it seemed as if his mind had become a featureless plain.
Inspiration eluded him.
Then, early one morning before the
lights came on, he abruptly awoke with the fleeting memory of a
particularly vivid dream. Most of his dreams tended to be about
Earth–memories of places he had been, people whom he had known–yet
this one was different; he wasn’t in it, nor did it take place
anywhere he had ever been.
He couldn’t recall any specific
details, yet he was left with one clear vision: a young man standing
on an alien landscape, gazing up at an azure sky dominated by a
large ringed planet, watching helplessly as a bright light–Gillis
recognized it as the starship he had seen–raced away from him,
heading into deep space.
Gillis almost rolled over and went
back to sleep, yet he found himself sitting up and reaching for his
robe. He took a shower, and as he stood beneath the lukewarm spray,
his imagination began to fill the missing pieces. The young man was
a prince, a nobleman from some world far from Earth; indeed, Earth’s
history didn’t even belong to the story. His father’s kingdom had
fallen to a tyrant and he had been forced to flee for his life,
taking refuge on a starship bound for another inhabited planet. Yet
its crew, fearing the tyrant’s wrath, had cast him away, leaving him
marooned him upon a habitable moon of an uncharted planet, without
any supplies or companionship. . . .
Still absorbed by the story in his
mind, Gillis got dressed, then went to the wardroom. He turned on a
couple of lights, then he sat down at his desk and picked up his
pen. There was no hesitation as he opened the ledger and turned to a
fresh page; almost as if in a trance, he began to
write.
And he never stopped.
To be sure, there were many times when
Gillis laid down his pen. His body had its limitations, and he
couldn’t remain at his desk indefinitely before hunger or exhaustion
overcame him. And there were occasions when he didn’t know what to
do next; in frustration he would impatiently pace the floor, groping
for the next scene, perhaps even the next word.
Yet after a time it seemed as if the
prince knew what to do even before he did. As he explored his new
world Gillis encountered many creatures–some of whom became friends,
some of whom were implacable enemies–and journeyed to places that
tested the limits of his ever-expanding imagination. As he did,
Gillis–and Prince Rupurt, who subtly become his alter-ego–found
himself embarked on an adventure more grand than anything he had
ever believed possible.
Gillis changed his routine, fitting
everything around the hours he spent at his desk. He rose early and
went straight to work; his mind felt sharpest just after he got out
of bed, and all he needed was a cup of coffee to help him wake up a
little more. Around midday he would prepare a modest lunch, then
walk around the ring corridor for exercise; two or three times a
week he would patrol the entire ship, making sure that everything
was functioning normally. By early afternoon he was back at his
desk, picking up where he had left off, impatient to find out what
would happen next.
He filled a ledger before he reached
the end of his protagonist’s first adventure; without hesitation, he
opened a fresh book and continued without interruption, and when he
wore out his first pen, he discarded it without a second thought. A
thick callus developed between the second and third knuckles of his
right middle finger, yet he barely noticed. When the second ledger
was filled, he placed it on top of the first one at the edge of his
desk. He seldom read what he had written except when he needed to
recheck the name of a character or the location of a certain place;
after a while he learned to keep notes in a separate book so that he
wouldn’t have to look back at what he had already done.
When evening came he would make
dinner, read a little, spend some time gazing out the window. Every
now and then he would go down to the command deck to check the nav
table. Eventually the Alabama’s distance from Earth could be
measured in parsecs rather then single light-years, yet even this
fact had become incidental at best, and in time it became utterly
irrelevant.
Gillis kept the chronometers covered;
never again did he ever want to know how much time had passed. He
stopped wearing shorts and a shirt and settled for merely wearing
his robe; sometimes he went through the entire day naked, sitting at
his desk without a stitch of clothing. He kept his fingernails and
toenails trimmed, and he always paid careful attention to his teeth,
yet he gave up cutting his hair and beard. He showered once or twice
a week, if that.
When he wasn’t writing, he was
sketching pictures of the characters he had created, the strange
cities and landscapes they visited. By now he had filled four
ledgers with the adventures of his prince, yet words alone weren’t
sufficient to bring life to his imagination. The next time he
returned to the cargo module for a new ledger and a handful of pens,
he found the watercolor set he had noticed earlier and brought it
back to the wardroom.
That evening, he began to paint the
walls.
One morning, he rose at his usual
time. He took a shower, then he put on his robe–which was now frayed
at the cuffs and worn through at the elbows–and made his long
journey to the wardroom. Lately it had become more difficult for him
to climb up and down ladders; his joints always seemed to ache, and
aspirin relieved the pain only temporarily. There had been other
changes as well; while making up his bunk a couple of days ago, he
had been mildly surprised to find a long grey hair upon his
pillow.
As he passed through the ring
corridor, he couldn’t help but admire his work. The forest mural he
had started some time ago was almost complete; it extended halfway
from Module C1 to Module C3, and it was quite lovely to gaze upon,
although he needed to add a little more detail to the leaves. That
might take some doing; he had recently exhausted the watercolors,
and since then had resorted to soaking the dyes out of his old
clothes.
He had a light breakfast, then he
carefully climbed down the ladder to his studio; he had long since
ceased to think of it as the wardroom. His ledger lay open on his
desk, his pen next to the place where he had left off last night.
Rupurt was about to fight a duel with the lord of the southern
kingdom, and he was looking forward to seeing how all this would
work out.
He farted loudly as he sat down,
giving him reason to smile with faint amusement, then he picked up
his pen. He read the last paragraph he had composed, crossed out a
few words that seemed unnecessary, then raised his eyes to the
porthole, giving himself a few moments to compose his
thoughts.
A bright star moved against space, one
more brilliant than any he had seen in a very long while.
He stared at it for a long while.
Then, very slowly, he rose from his desk, his legs trembling beneath
his robe. His gaze never left the star as he backed away from the
window, taking one small step after another as he moved toward the
ladder behind him.
The star had returned. Or perhaps this
was another one. Either way, it looked very much like the mysterious
thing he had seen once before, a long time ago.
The pen fell from his hand as he
bolted for the ladder. Ignoring the arthritic pain shooting through
his arms and legs, he scrambled to the top deck of the module, then
dashed down the corridor to the hatch leading to the hub shaft. This
time, he knew what had to be done; get to his old station, transmit
a clear vox transmission on all frequencies. . . .
He had climbed nearly halfway down the
shaft before he realized that he didn’t know exactly what to say. A
simple greeting? A message of friendship? Yes, that might do . . .
but how would he identify himself?
In that moment, he realized that he
couldn’t remember his name.
Stunned by this revelation, he clung
to the ladder. His name. Surely he could recall his own name. . .
.
Gillis. Of course. He was Gillis.
Gillis, Leslie. Lieutenant Commander Leslie Gillis. Chief
communications officer of . . . yes, right . . . the URSS
Alabama. He smiled, climbed down another rung. It had been so
long since he had heard anyone say his name aloud, he probably
couldn’t even speak it himself. . . .
Couldn’t he?
Gillis opened his mouth, urged himself
to say something. Nothing emerged from his throat save for a dry
croak.
No. He could still speak; he was
simply out of practice. All he had to do was get to his station. If
he could remember the correct commands, he might still be able to
send a signal to Prince Rupurt’s ship before it passed beyond range.
He just needed to . . .
His left foot missed the next rung on
the ladder. Thrown off-balance, he glanced down to see what he had
done wrong . . . then his right hand slipped off the ladder.
Suddenly he found himself falling backward, his arms and legs
flailing helplessly. Down, down, down. . . .
"Oh, no," he said softly.
An instant later he hit the bottom of
the shaft. There was a brief flash of pain as his neck snapped, then
blackness rushed in upon him and it was all over.
A few hours later, one of the ’bots
found Gillis’s body. It prodded him several times, confirming that
the cold organic form lying on the floor of Deck H5 was indeed
lifeless, then it relayed a query to the AI. The molecular
intelligence carefully considered the situation for a few fractions
of a second, then it instructed the spider to jettison the corpse.
This was done within the next two minutes; ejected from the
starship, Gillis spun away into the void, another small piece of
debris lost between the stars.
The AI determined that it was no
longer necessary for the crew compartments to remain habitable, so
it returned the thermostat setting to 50 degrees. A ’bot moved
through the ship, cleaning up after Gillis. It left untouched the
thirteen ledgers he had completed, along with the fourteenth that
lay open upon his desk. There was nothing that could be done about
the paintings on the walls of Module C7 and the ring access
corridor, so they were left alone. Once the ’bot completed its
chores, the AI closed the shutters of the windows Gillis had left
open, then methodically turned off all the lights, one by
one.
The date was February 25, 2102, GMT.
The rest of the flight went smoothly, without further
incident.