CHAPTER 25

On Mona, Hawk said, “I’m going to teach you to fight.”

“No,” Graine said. She sat on a stone by the river, where the wagtails hunted. A birch trailed new leaves in the water. Larks chirred over the hill. There was no wind. The blue smoke from the great-house fire spread horizontally, as a layer of cloud beneath the blue of the opening sky. War was a day and a night away, a distant memory, and she did not wish to bring it closer.

Hawk laid down the bundle he was carrying and leaned against the trunk of a birch on the opposite bank, peering at her through the drooping leaves. His hair was damp from swimming in the pool further down. It lay sleek and black down his head like an otter pelt, with the hawk’s feather dangling from the topknot. His skin was already brown from the spring sun, unblemished except for the lizard clan mark winding up his arm and the greening bruise on his lower lip that had come from Valerius’ knife.

That was almost gone now; he could smile without his face distorting. He did so now, disarmingly. “Your grandfather gave his blade into my care to keep near you, and then yesterday you came back from the shore with another,” he said. “I thought perhaps it was time you learned how to use at least one of them.”

“They’re both too big for me.” She eyed Hawk up and down. “You could wield Eburovic’s ancestor-blade; you’re tall enough and there’s no geas against it. And the one I picked up would suit you on horseback if you chose to fight like that.”

Graine offered these not because she expected him to accept them, but in the hope that he might see the heart behind the gift and go away. She wanted him to go away, this lean, ardent, bright-eyed youth who had pledged his life to her without her asking; this man-boy who had followed her across land and sea with her grandfather’s great war blade strapped across his back so that it seemed to grow from his shoulders.

She had wanted him to go and fight the day before, not for her or because he was needed, but because it was better than sitting beside him, feeling the tremors running through his body as he watched dreamers battle against legionaries on the foreshore.

He was a hound kept unfairly back from the hunt, a horse stalled at the start of a race when generations of breeding had made him only for that, and there was no point; she had not asked for the pledge of his life and his care, and did not need it. As he, evidently, did not need her gift of another man’s blade.

“I don’t think so,” Hawk said, mildly. “The blades of your line are for your family, not a stranger from another tribe. In any case, I have my own blade. It was a gift from my father.”

He sat down cross-legged on the moss. Her mother had killed his father. They had never spoken of that. She did not want to now and neither, she thought, did he; she was coming to recognize the stillness that settled on him when he had gone inside beyond reach. He looked politely attentive, which was not a comfortable thing to endure.

The morning was too good to be spoiled. She sat opposite him and withdrew into herself and waited.

In a while, when all they had heard was the river and the distant larks, Hawk leaned over and unfolded the two ends of the sheepskin so that it lay flat on the river bank with the skin side down and the wool up. The tanner had left the two ears on it, and the beginnings of the tail, so that the pattern of white and mud-brown mottles could be imagined as they had been on the back of the she-lamb that had run in the paddocks by the great-house through the last summer when it was alive.

Across the mottles and within them, lying part buried in the wool so that little could be seen but the matt sheen of blued iron, lay a sword and a knife of a size to suit a nine-year-old girl.

Graine said again, “I don’t want to learn to fight.”

Hawk lifted the sword. A running hare in bronze made the hilt, with its head as the pommel and the curve of its body set to fit a small hand. The hind legs stretched out and wound round themselves and flowed into the blade so that the join was a fluid thing, as if the hare emerged from water, or the moon. Down the length of the iron, sigils were inlaid in copper and silver. They swam before Graine’s eyes, whispering words she could not hear. She looked away.

Hawk said, “Valerius made these for you. Your mother gave them to me before we left. She asked me not to give them to you until you were ready to use them.”

There were tadpoles in the river. Someone had thrown the end of a jugged hare’s haunch into the shallows at the side and it was fringed with small, bulbous eel-shapes, like a voracious black-petalled flower.

Graine dabbed her toe in the water, making rings, and watched the writhing blackness scatter into fragments and come together again. Not looking up, she said, “Give them to someone who wants them. There are plenty of half-grown youths in Hibernia who would give their souls for the battle blade of an Eceni smith. If you don’t tell them who made it, they won’t disdain to use it.”

“Do you? I thought you liked Valerius.”

“I do.” Minnows came, between the tadpoles. A water boatman skimmed across the surface where her toe had been. She said, “That is, I don’t dislike him. My mother loves him; he matters for that. I don’t disdain his blade, I just don’t want to be a warrior.”

Hawk laughed, so that she looked up in surprise. Shaking his head, he uncrossed his legs and stood up and leaned his shoulder again on the tree. With the mirth still dancing in his eyes, he said, “Graine, dreamer-of-miracles, if I wanted to make you a warrior, you and I would spend the rest of our lives in the teaching and end in old age with both of us frustrated. I couldn’t make you a warrior if I wanted, and I don’t want to. I just want to make you safe.”

“I am safe. I have you and Dubornos and Gunovar. I can’t move a step without one or all of you being there. You are among the best warriors in the war host, everyone knows that. If you three are killed, my having a blade will make no difference.”

“Yes, Graine. Yes, it will.” He was suddenly serious, not closed as he had been, but with the life in his eyes that she had seen once or twice before, when things mattered. He opened his mouth to speak and thought better of it and sank instead to a crouch and hugged his knees and tucked his chin on his folded forearms and studied her, thinking. Fronds of birch trailed about his face, framing the width of his eyes.

When he had arranged the right words in his head, he said, “In battle, men kill those who threaten them. If we three are dead, then Mona is lost and you are lost with it. I think all of us would rather you died then, and crossed the river to Briga in our company, than were left alive for the legions to…do other things.”

He pursed his lips, watching her to see if the words had done damage. Less tensely, he said, “I am not going to teach you to kill legionaries, Graine of the grey eyes, I am going to teach you to look dangerous, so that death will come faster and you will never have to live through what you did before. Will you allow that much of me, with the blades your uncle has made?”

For no-one else would she have done it. For Hawk, for the starkness of his honesty and for the solemnity in his face and the humour that could be brought back again, and because she did not always want him to go away, she took the hand he offered across the river and took the two blades he gave her, the long one for the left, because she worked better with that hand, and the knife for the right.

She felt the balance of each, and how different it was from carrying Corvus’ blade, or her mother’s. The writing on the blade danced through the hare and into her arm and she felt a whisper in her bones that made her want to weep and throw them down. She gritted her teeth and grimaced and saw that Hawk had seen it, and the pity that came after, which was not what she wanted at all.

She made herself smile and when he asked it of her, she took up the stance she had seen every day since her birth and never thought to emulate, and began the first slow movements of the warrior’s dance, knowing that she would never have to kill with it, only learn to look dangerous.