"TURNABOUT"

By - Nick Pollotta and James Clay

One fine summer evening, Prof. Felix Einstein and Lord Benjamin Carstairs were on vacation and taking their constitutional through a plush forest in Greece when suddenly a monstrous shape thunderously landed in the clearing before them.

"Halt!" the mighty she-beast roared.

In amazement, Einstein and Carstairs stared at the sphinx now filling the clearing. Built along classic lines, she had the head and breasts of a beautiful woman atop the body of a lion, plus a serpent's tail with a pair of great white wings fluttering from her shoulders. Thankfully, a golden breastplate covered her quivering buxom bosom. A good ten meters tall and some twenty meters long, her voice, though remarkably pleasant, was quite loud.

Hungrily, the sphinx viewed the tiny morsels. One was quite old with a stock of white hair and needed a cane to stand. Hardly a single bite for her there. Ah, but the other was a massive, tanned, slab of muscle some two meters tall. A meal onto himself! How delightful would be the aroma of their fear! How satisfying the crunch of their bones! How convenient their clothing for flossing!

Circumspect, the elderly professor muttered to his companion. "Oh, I say."

"Quite," the unflappable archeologist replied, raising a single eloquent eyebrow.

Annoyed, the sphinx frowned. These men were surprised, but the heady aroma of raw terror was blatantly absent. An angry growl welled deep within her throat. Well, that would soon change!

"Greeting humans!" she said in a booming contralto. "What are you two doing in my forest?"

"Just out for a stroll," Prof. Einstein replied promptly. "And what are your next two questions?"

The sphinx spit in ill controlled rage, the tiny globule of moisture hissing through rock and soil. "Impudent toads!" she snarled, the mighty breasts heaving. "Very well! What walks on four legs in the morning-"

"Man," Lord Carstairs interrupted, stifling a yawn.

Frowning, the sphinx paused for a moment. "You...have heard these before?" she asked.

"Yes," Einstein replied, turning to leave. "And that is three for three. Goodbye."

"HOLD!" the giant beast thundered, blocking their path with a paw the size of a living room sofa. "You must now ask me a question! And if I can answer correctly, then death will be your reward!"

Einstein and Carstairs exchanged glances.

"Ask!" the monster demanded licking her mighty chops, whiskers a bristle with eagerness. She had been worried at first by their boldness, but the sphinx felt that she was back in control.

Quickly, the two Englishmen conferred for a moment.

"With the weapon and resources immediately available to us," Lord Carstairs began politely, "what is the surest, fastest and easiest way for us to kill you?"

With an audible clunk, the beast dropped her jaw to the rocky ground, then closed it with a snap. For several minutes, she teeth ground against each other as the she-beast engaged in furious thought. Raking a clawed paw through her golden tresses, the sphinx stared hard at the two calm humans. Then, she gave a sweet smile.

"Gosh, what a good question," she admitted, in a friendly voice. "I have no idea. You win! Goodbye." Then with a single bound that carried her over the trees, the winged beast was gone.

"Sometimes, it really pays to have a classical education," Lord Carstairs noted, as they continued the interrupted stroll.

"Quite," Prof. Einstein laughed, leaning heavily on his cane. "This incident could have been much worse."

Once more, the British lord raised an eyebrow. "Indeed, sir. How so?"

The professor frowned, "It might have been another insurance salesman."

And the two scholars shivered in fear.

-END-



	"TURNABOUT" By - Nick Pollotta and James Clay One fine summer evening, Prof. Felix Einstein and Lord Benjamin Carstairs were on vacation and taking their constitutional through a plush forest in Greece when suddenly a monstrous shape thunderously landed in the clearing before them. "Halt!" the mighty she-beast roared. In amazement, Einstein and Carstairs stared at the sphinx now filling the clearing. Built along classic lines, she had the head and breasts of a beautiful woman atop the body of a lion, plus a serpent's tail with a pair of great white wings fluttering from her shoulders. Thankfully, a golden breastplate covered her quivering buxom bosom. A good ten meters tall and some twenty meters long, her voice, though remarkably pleasant, was quite loud. Hungrily, the sphinx viewed the tiny morsels. One was quite old with a stock of white hair and needed a cane to stand. Hardly a single bite for her there. Ah, but the other was a massive, tanned, slab of muscle some two meters tall. A meal onto himself! How delightful would be the aroma of their fear! How satisfying the crunch of their bones! How convenient their clothing for flossing! Circumspect, the elderly professor muttered to his companion. "Oh, I say." "Quite," the unflappable archeologist replied, raising a single eloquent eyebrow. Annoyed, the sphinx frowned. These men were surprised, but the heady aroma of raw terror was blatantly absent. An angry growl welled deep within her throat. Well, that would soon change! "Greeting humans!" she said in a booming contralto. "What are you two doing in my forest?" "Just out for a stroll," Prof. Einstein replied promptly. "And what are your next two questions?" The sphinx spit in ill controlled rage, the tiny globule of moisture hissing through rock and soil. "Impudent toads!" she snarled, the mighty breasts heaving. "Very well! What walks on four legs in the morning-" "Man," Lord Carstairs interrupted, stifling a yawn. Frowning, the sphinx paused for a moment. "You...have heard these before?" she asked. "Yes," Einstein replied, turning to leave. "And that is three for three. Goodbye." "HOLD!" the giant beast thundered, blocking their path with a paw the size of a living room sofa. "You must now ask me a question! And if I can answer correctly, then death will be your reward!" Einstein and Carstairs exchanged glances. "Ask!" the monster demanded licking her mighty chops, whiskers a bristle with eagerness. She had been worried at first by their boldness, but the sphinx felt that she was back in control. Quickly, the two Englishmen conferred for a moment. "With the weapon and resources immediately available to us," Lord Carstairs began politely, "what is the surest, fastest and easiest way for us to kill you?" With an audible clunk, the beast dropped her jaw to the rocky ground, then closed it with a snap. For several minutes, she teeth ground against each other as the she-beast engaged in furious thought. Raking a clawed paw through her golden tresses, the sphinx stared hard at the two calm humans. Then, she gave a sweet smile. "Gosh, what a good question," she admitted, in a friendly voice. "I have no idea. You win! Goodbye." Then with a single bound that carried her over the trees, the winged beast was gone. "Sometimes, it really pays to have a classical education," Lord Carstairs noted, as they continued the interrupted stroll. "Quite," Prof. Einstein laughed, leaning heavily on his cane. "This incident could have been much worse." Once more, the British lord raised an eyebrow. "Indeed, sir. How so?" The professor frowned, "It might have been another insurance salesman." And the two scholars shivered in fear. -END-