JONATHAN LETHEM and ANGUS MacDONALD
THE EDGE OF THE BED OF FOREVER
Strand knew his wife
would soon notice how terribly old he was getting. It was
only a matter of time. Lingering
before his bathroom mirror, he catalogued the
ravages. The yellow of his eyes, the white
stubble growing up under, and out of,
his nose, the saggy pouches of skin accumulating
around his jaw. There was no
mistaking it. He was pulling away from his wife, agewise. And
soon it would be
obvious to her.
Using the time platform had been a dirty little secret from
the beginning, but
at the beginning he had had it under control. Now he was spending as
much time
in no-time with Angela as he was back here in realtime with his wife. And it was
turning him into an old man. He had no right to call himself forty-five anymore.
He had
lost track long before, but he was surely at least fifty by now,
biologically.
He opened the
medicine cabinet and took out his bottle of dye --disguised as a
solution for
remetabolizing corns -- and began combing it into his hair. A new
irony occurred to him.
His wife could save him. By noticing his aging, and
accusing him of the adultery, she would
put the stop to it that he couldn't
himself. His lover, youthful, life-giving Angela, was
killing him, and only his
wife could save him.
He finished, mussing his hair so it wouldn't
look too combed. Downstairs his
wife waited for him to join her in the large kitchen. He
heard her. She was
working already, piling the cotton shirts she and Strand would decorate
with
commercial logos today. All would be spotlessly clean, ready for the inking
microbes
they'd prepared the afternoon before. She would keep stacking them,
silently reproachful,
while he read his newsclod.
Finally, dressed, showered, every hair in or out of place as
required, he
descended the stairs.
"Good morning" she said, too brightly. The further apart
they grew the more
blandly cheerful she acted. She turned at the waist, without removing
her hands
from the long workbench. "How long have you been up?"
Strand glanced at his watch,
resisting the impulse to tell a meaningless lie.
"Just half an hour," he said. "Here,
there's plenty of time. Come and sit."
"In a minute." She continued stacking shirts.
Strand
opened the front door, picked up the newsclod lying on the welcome mat,
and brought it
inside. He emptied it from its packet into the basin hidden under
the table and leaned back
in his seat, waiting for the enzymes to decode the
day's events and display the front page
on the screen above the counter. The
image that appeared, however, was unintelligible, shot
through with colored
streaks and abbreviated words. Strand picked up the packet and
examined it. A
muddy claw mark pierced the back. A cat or raccoon had eaten part of the
news.
Strand would have to go without his usual dose of headlines. He was surprised to
find
he didn't care. He felt something like relief, in fact, as he dumped the
spoiled news into
a house plant's soil.
"Angela," he said, "did you make any coffee?"
He winced in pain. He
had called Miriam "Angela." The name hung in the air,
irretrievable. A disaster.
Amazing. He
switched labels on bottles, spent thousands of dollars renting a
room in no-time, and hid a
time machine around the house. All this, all the
subterfuge and contortion, only to call
his wife by his mistress's name.
"Yes," she said distantly. "Here you go." Strand fought to
keep his features
from simply melting into a lump on his face as she set coffee in front of
him.
Would she throw the cup in his lap? Or had she somehow not heard?
"Thanks," he said,
gulping, struggling to return her slight smile. "Uh, milk?"
He rose to get the creamer from
the appliance alcove.
"Yes, of course." Another smile. She really hadn't noticed.
He'd
gotten away with it. "No news?"
He allowed himself a small lie -- just an omission, really
-- as reward for
getting through the crisis. "I wasn't in the mood," he said.
Strand had
only been to the offices of NoTime, Inc., once, years before, to set
up the account when he
and Angela began their affair. He'd arranged then to have
the daily code updates delivered
to a storefront maildrop so Miriam wouldn't see
them. When he left the house today Miriam
showed little curiosity. His
painstakingly rehearsed speech about a visit to the podiatrist
had done the
trick.
Since his first visit to NoTime, the company had grown. The offices were
newly
plush, the receptionist newly professional, her short dark hair styled and
lacquered.
Strand had flirted with her on his first visit. Today she was almost
icy. She directed
Strand to a waiting area across the room, and he sat across
from the only other client
there, a young man with a fashionable slush hat and
heavy, tired eyes. A sagging rucksack
took up the seat beside him.
The man was drawing a diagram on a scrap of paper on the table
between them.
Strand leaned forward to catch a glimpse. A problem in Radial Bowls. It
looked
like the man -- little more than a boy -- was sketching alternate aiming
strategies,
based on which of the 4,320 target regions his opponent seized.
"I used to play a little
Radial," Strand said, as cheerily as possible.
"I'm the regional NCAA champion," came the
reply, in a distracted monotone. His
voice was quiet.
"No."
"Yes," said the man, a little
defensively. "I'm Zip Lignorelli." He looked up
and stared at Strand. "I've been playing
for State since I was a freshman.
Youngest champion ever."
Strand recognized the boy's face.
"You were on the newsclod yesterday. You won
-- no, you lost a pasture."
"I lost. I'm losing
four pastures to one."
"What are you doing here?"
Zip took a deep breath and leaned back.
"It's kinds stupid. Maybe I shouldn't be
talking to you --"
"You rent no-time," said Strand.
The logic of it was obvious. "You work on your
moves for Radial. You beat the time clock."
"You -- you a reporter?"
"Relax. Your secret's safe with me. Where do you hide the --"
Zip
put a finger to his lips and smiled painfully. "Shhh. In the bathroom of the
stadium." He
sighed deeply and looked at the ceiling, then back at Strand. "It's
not for the game,
though. I got orals, for the baccalaureate, y'know? Coming up.
During the nationals for
Radial." He looked at his shoes and laughed. "Something
had to give, right?"
"That's
brilliant," said Strand. "What's the matter?"
Zip sighed again, and cast his eyes down.
"You're
losing," said Strand. "The other one, what's her name, Andreyeva, she's
better." He
marveled at Lignorelli. So young, so wrapped up in sport. He wanted
to urge him to forget
the game and find himself a warm, loving female, but he
wasn't sure the student, with his
flip manner and self-absorption, would know
how.
"I'll lose. I think you're right. It's
either that or put my full attention to
it and flunk the orals."
"Does anyone know you come
here? What --"
Zip shook his head slightly and lowered his voice. "I'm by myself. Came in
today
'cause I wanna different room."
Strand started to ask: what room? Then he saw that Zip
meant his room in the
no-time hotel.
What a funny idea. The rooms, as everyone knew, were
all alike.
"-- I kinds want one with a window, right?" The kid presented his case as though
Strand worked for NoTime, Inc. "The room's so plain, y'know? No window, can't
think. Going
crazy. I could use just a little view. Even a fence or an access
road or something ..."
"You
poor guy," said Strand gently. "The hotel is what they call a time-station,
like a space
station. It's just hanging there, you see. Adjacent to our world."
He took the paper and
pen away from Zip and drew a little diagram: a building
suspended in space. "It's hanging
out in no-time. There's no view. If it were in
the world, with a view, then time would be
passing. Understand?"
"Oh," said Zip. He looked down, then clapped his hands to his knees.
"Well,
that's that."
"Mr. Lignorelli," the receptionist called out. "Mr. Axelrod will see
you now."
Zip looked at Strand with panic in his eyes, then obediently rose from his seat
and stepped over to the desk. Strand, feeling protective, followed.
"I gotta, I mean, you
can cancel my appointment," said Zip. The woman narrowed
her eyes. Strand remembered again
how bubbly she'd been when NoTime was a new
operation.
"It's okay," he said. "I helped him
with a question he was going to ask Axelrod.
It's all cleared up."
The receptionist paused
long enough to make sure Strand knew she thought this
was improper. "I guess that makes it
your turn, Mr. Strand. You've saved
yourself some waiting."
Strand turned to shake hands
with Zip. "Good luck," he said.
"Thanks," said Zip. "Uh, good luck to you too." He moved
toward the elevators as
Strand was ushered into Axelrod's office.
"I had the idea," said
Strand, after he and Axelrod introduced themselves, "that
I could somehow lure my wife,
unawares, into a room in the hotel -- perhaps in a
sleep-state, or hypnotized -- and get
her to pass a couple of years. Do you
follow me?"
"You're concerned with the age
differential," said Axelrod with a tight smile.
"I understand you perfectly." He passed a
hand smoothly over his thinning hair.
"It's a very exciting suggestion, Mr. Strand. It
also, if I read you correctly,
constitutes kidnapping." He looked down at his desk, then
back up at Strand.
"No, worse, I think. It's really a variant of murder."
"Oh," said Strand,
stupefied.
Axelrod pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. "Please
-- don't feel I've accused --"
"Oh, no," said Strand. "You're absolutely right. I just
hadn't thought -- it was
a stupid idea." Silent panic coated his nerves with ice.
Axelrod
regained his poise. "It's far from --" He coughed, then went on. "The
ramifications often
escape the layman, Mr. Strand. That's what we're here for."
He smiled again, this time with
something like warmth. "Richard -- may I call
you Richard? -- you're one of our oldest
noncommercial accounts. We're quite
aware of your consistent use of your room in the hotel,
and we want to help. I'm
surprised, frankly, that we didn't hear from you sooner. This type
of thing is
our third-ranking customer concern."
"Oh," said Strand again. The cold subsided,
leaving lukewarm sweat.
"I'm sure you realize that the effects you're concerned with are
irreversible.
My counsel to you is going to be very simple, and you may find it
disappointing."
Axelrod folded his hands. "Just because you're keeping the room
doesn't mean you've got to
use it every day, Richard. Ease up. Spend less time
there when you go. Because otherwise
--"
Axelrod turned his palms outward in a gesture of helplessness. Strand realized
now that
he had been counting on Axelrod's providing some answer, some
counter-spell to NoTime's
original magic. He wanted a refund on his lost time,
wanted everyone but him to spend ten
years in the hotel while he caught up. He
wanted to be young again, even young and stupid,
like Zip Lignorelli, instead of
old and stupid, like himself.
He was suddenly aware that his
face was covered with tears. Axelrod was
sympathetic now. "Here," he said. He opened a desk
drawer, brought out a mirror
strewn with chamomile and handed Strand a slip of paper rolled
into a tube.
Strand tried to snort, but his nose was clogged from weeping. He mimed
satisfaction
for Axelrod's sake and slid the tray back across the desk.
The waiting room was empty as
Strand went to the elevator. He stopped at the
table, hoping to retrieve the Radial Bowls
diagram as a memento of his encounter
with Zip. Instead he found a booklet with code
updates for the NoTime hotel. It
was the first Strand had ever seen besides his own. Apart
from an unfamiliar
account number at the top, it could have been his own.
Zip had left it
behind. With a guilty look over his shoulder -- the receptionist
was busy with papers on
her desk -- Strand slipped it into his pocket, then
hurried to the elevator.
Strand endured
a lengthy dinner with Miriam, the whole time glancing
surreptitiously at his watch. He and
Angela had a date this evening, in the
hotel, and he was eager for relief from the
pressures of the day. Miriam
wouldn't stop talking, either about new commercial clients
they'd already snared
or about the comic strip panels that had turned up on some of the
house plants'
leaves.
Before dessert, he carried the dishes into the kitchen. After
arranging them on
the dishwasher's tongue, he picked up the compost bag and went out back.
Once
he'd dropped the bag in the bin by the back fence, he crept into the storage
shed, laid
his wristwatch across the hibernating lawnmower's muzzle, and
unfolded the time platform
hidden in an old box of automobile parts. He took the
code update from his pocket and was
about to punch in the figures when he
noticed the strange number at the top of the
printout. It was Zip's.
Odd, he thought. What would have happened?
Strand conceived uneasily
that he would have traveled into the student
champion's past, or rather, dragged Zip into
his future. For while Strand would
have been perfectly able to jump back to his original
point of departure and
finish his meal with Miriam, Zip would have been forced to jump
ahead to that
point too. The computer that regulated the jumping enforced this rule. You
couldn't use the hotel to go back in time. Zip would have walked into the
bathroom of the
contest hall and vanished for days. Strand would have destroyed
the kid's careers, both
athletic and academic.
And it had nearly happened.
Strand repocketed Zip's code, found his
own, fresh from his maildrop, and
entered the numerals.
He was transported instantly. But
the room was empty. No Angela.
There was no being late for a rendezvous in the NoTime
hotel, by definition.
Angela's absence meant she hadn't used this code in the past and
would not use
it in the future -- if she had she would be here with him at the start of the
booking.
The day was a double loss, this new disappointment punctuating the earlier one.
Strand felt profoundly old and tired.
He knew to return immediately, to avoid logging any
useless time here at the
hotel. When he materialized in the shed, his mood lifted slightly.
He always
felt relief at returning to "normal" life after a clandestine sojourn in the
hotel.
His watch was warm from the lawnmower's breath. He strapped it onto his
wrist and went
inside to have dessert with Miriam.
The next day Strand caught a bus to Zip's college. His
newsclod had said the
match was suspended for a day at the request of the Lignorelli's
handlers. It
was widely interpreted as a sign of growing desperation on the part of the
beleaguered
young champion.
Strand found Zip alone in his room, bent over a small replica of a Radial
Bowls
green.
"Why aren't you in no-time?" asked Strand. He felt paternal toward Zip, as he
had the day before. "You shouldn't have called time-out. It's making a bad
impression."
"Doesn't
matter," said the student, "I'm not gonna be the youngest champion much
longer. I'll lose
the match or end up older than Andreyeva. Or both."
"My trouble exactly," said Strand. "If
I stayed in no-time long enough to solve
my problem I'd be an old man."
Zip seemed confused.
"Your problem? Huh?"
Strand smiled. "My problem is I spend too much time in the hotel
trying to solve
my problem, which is the hotel. Forget it. Here." He pulled out Zip's code
update. "You shouldn't leave this lying around."
He explained how close he'd come to doing
something disastrous with the code.
"No," said Zip, shaking his head. "We wouldn't be
trapped going back together. I
could've jumped to another room, and from there come back to
my own time --"
"Uh-uh," said Strand. "No one can go from room to room in the hotel. It
causes
time paradoxes. Screw-ups, the future meeting the past."
"Axelrod can," insisted Zip.
"He left from my room. He had a call on his beeper.
I saw him do it. He said it was him
only."
"What was Axelrod doing in your room?"
Zip shrugged. "Told me he visited all new
clients. He wanted to talk about
Radial." The student snorted mirthfully. "I told him my
problem, but he couldn't
even comprehend, let alone help find the answer."
Strand felt
suddenly self-conscious. Axelrod must have been drawn to the young
man, much as Strand
himself was. Strand pictured Axelrod showing off forbidden
tricks with the time system,
trying to impress the kid.
"Axelrod could have helped you, then," said Strand. "He could
have gone up the
line, found someone who knew the outcome of the match. Told you what your
opponent's throws were."
And he could help me, Strand thought. He could have gone into the
future and
found out whether Angela and I stayed together. Whether it was worth all this,
in the end.
"I don't think that would work," said Zip. "Probably the outcome is I lose. I
think there isn't any right throw at this point."
"Well, it doesn't matter," said Strand.
"Axelrod would never do it. He's very
unimaginative about the whole no-time setup. I'd do
it, but of course I don't
know the codes." Strand recognized that he was vying jealously
for Zip's
affections.
"I remember the number," said Zip idly, as though it wasn't important.
"What?"
"Photographic memory. In grade school I was on TV for memorizing the entire
Wichita
telephone directory. I saw Axelrod type the code into the console."
"What are you saying?"
"The picture's still in my mind. Five-four-six-two-zero-zero. A prefix, for
overriding the
computer. Then he types the code he wants --"
Strand felt a sudden thirst to know the
hotel, to possess it as fully as Axelrod
did. He'd spent enough time there, after all. It
was his turf, as much as
Axelrod's.
"Let's go," he said.
"What?" said Zip.
"Let's go
together," said Strand, his excitement mounting. "We'll find out about
that Radial move.
Who knows what we'll find? Hell, we might even find a room
with a view for you."
Zip raised
an eyebrow, and didn't say anything.
"Come on," said Strand. More than anything, he wanted
to guide the boy to
victory. He wanted almost as badly to put no-time to some other use,
now that
Angela had stood him up; he wanted to renew his use of the hotel, make it mean
more
than just the affair.
Zip opened up the drawer of the desk and lifted out his time
platform.
Strand had his in his briefcase. He'd been thinking of taking it to NoTime Inc.
and turning it in.
The room looked the same as Strand's. But the bed was stripped, the
blankets and
sheets in a pile at the foot, and from the bathroom came the sound of running
water, and someone humming a meandering tune. On the dresser was a smoldering
hand-rolled
cigarette, and the room was filled with the sweet stink of marijuana
smoke.
Strand and Zip
turned and looked at one another, but neither spoke.
An elderly black man came out of the
bathroom, holding a sponge and a sprayer
bottle. He would have been fairly short if he had
been standing up straight;
bent, as he was, like a question mark, he barely stood five feet
tall. He opened
his mouth in cartoonishly exaggerated surprise at seeing Strand and Zip in
the
room.
"You ain't supposed to come in like that, now. This is one of the in-between
times.
I ain't got the place made up."
"I'm sorry," blurted Strand, marveling. They'd discovered
staff.
Suddenly the man's eyes narrowed. "You checkin' up on me?"
"Oh, no," said Strand.
"You
could be lyin'," said the man. "Lots of people lyin'." He looked at Zip,
who shook his head
in wide-eyed fear.
"But we're not," protested Strand. "Listen, do you recognize this man?
He's a
famous Radial Bowls player. He's involved in a very important match --"
"I don't know
nothin' about Radial," said the man suspiciously. He went to the
dresser and stubbed out
the smoldering joint.
"It's on the front page of the newsclods," said Strand. "Everyone
reads about it
--"
"Oh yeah? Well I ain't seen any newsclod either."
"What," said Strand. "Do
you and the other -- the others who clean the rooms
stay in the hotel all the time?"
"Ain't
no others," grumbled the man.
"Are you saying you clean the whole place yourself? There
couldn't possibly be
time enough --"
"Time? There's plenty of time. And for every time there
is, there's a between
time, like right now. Me 'n' Yaller just clean it up when we ready."
He
indicated the aging scrubhound that had shambled out of the bathroom after
licking the
fixtures. "Ain't no hurry."
"Where do you live?" said Strand, confused.
"Oh, ho." For some
reason this was amusing. "Way do I live? I live down the line
a bit." He jerked his thumb
over his shoulder. "Same as all the rest, but I do
like it back there. Feels clean and new.
Ain't no one sleepin' in the bed before
I sleep in it."
"Uh, Strand?" said Zip, strain
evident in his voice.
"Yes." Strand tried not to appear flustered. He felt mildly affected
by the
marijuana fumes. "Well, I'm sorry we intruded. We'll just go and come back
later.
Some kind of slip-up, I suppose."
"Okay," said the janitor, shrugging. "I get it all clean
up in a bit. Heh heh.
So long."
Strand realized the man took him and Zip for a couple.
"Here," said Zip. He'd
scribbled a new number onto a sheet of the hotel's stationery.
It was
the first time Strand had jumped from room to room within the hotel, and
for a moment he
thought Zip and the janitor had simultaneously vanished. But the
bed was made. It was
another identical room.
At that moment Zip appeared.
"Where are we?" said Strand. "How did
you get this code?"
"It's easy for me to extrapolate the numbers," said Zip. "But I dunno
where they
wind up." He looked around. "At least no one's here."
Strand was impatient. How
could they learn anything in an empty room? "Let's
jump again --"
"No," said Zip, his voice
high and squeaky. "I can't stay here anymore. This is
getting too weird."
"You don't want to
see the rest of the hotel?"
"I never wanted to see the hotel. That's your bag. Besides, I
have a Radial move
to make." The student suddenly relaxed.
Strand felt bereft. He'd secretly
wanted Zip's dilemma to be permanent,
insoluble, like his own. To lead further into the
hotel, not out of it. "You
have a throw?"
"More: a strategy. It came to me while I was
working with the codes, instead of
thinking of the game. It happens like that."
"I
understand," said Strand, hiding his disappointment. "Go and win the game."
"No," said Zip.
"I'm going to draw."
Strand felt betrayed. "Shouldn't you try to win?" Wasn't that the
point? But he
knew he was naive about Radial.
Zip smiled. "I'm at the top of my game. Or
maybe I'm fading; same thing." He
shrugged. "Even if I won this match, I'd lose the next,
y'know? I should just
get on with my life."
Strand began to see. "So if you draw, you retire
without losing?"
"In a sense. And," here Zip actually grinned, the first time Strand had
seen him
truly happy, "you helped me. Since you told me before that all the rooms are
identical,
right? Like the Radial slices, where we move from pasture to pasture,
but they're all
really the same. The way the balls lie now -- it's like this: I
can make a particular
throw, a short easy roll, that she'll have to defend
against. And her only possible roll
will put me in the same jeopardy, so I'll be
forced into one of two throws. One is
ordinary, and after that I'd need a new
strategy -- and there just isn't one. But the other
will force her into the same
defense. And then it'll be a closed cycle, unless one of us
aims badly on
purpose: we'll have no choice but to chase each other around the green,
through
all the slices, forever. Movement, but no true change. So I won't win, but I'll
have
made my mark."
Strand understood. It was something entirely new for the sport. He could
even
share some satisfaction at the idea. "And they'll name the maneuver after you, I
guess."
"Probably. So thanks, y'know? Maybe you'll be famous with Radial fans, too."
"Don't," said
Strand. "You can't use my name."
Understanding lit the boy's face. "Sorry. I didn't wanna
-- I mean, I guess you
got enough troubles, right?"
Strand relaxed.
"What will I do?" he
said.
"Here." Zip went to the desk, and began scribbling out codes. "I can extrapolate
codes
from the pattern --"
"They can't all work," said Strand. "The hotel can't go on forever."
Zip
shrugged. "Maybe it'll reject the useless codes." He continued writing. "Here's
a few
dozen. And here, if you want to go back, the return code, to my room." He
circled it twice.
"Where you left your platform."
Strand felt exhilarated and dumbfounded at once. He was
free to roam the hotel.
After years of jumping to a single room he was going to possess the
territory,
plumb its depths.
But he was to do it alone. Zip was punching in his return code
at the wall
console.
"Good luck," said the young man.
"Yes," said Strand, but by then he was
alone. He felt a moment of sadness, but
it passed. There wasn't any reason to sit in the
hotel, moping.
He went to the wall console and punched in the topmost code on the list.
It
was very much the same room again, with just one difference, a big one: two
people sat on
the edge of the bed, which was unmade, and neither of them wore
any clothes. Most oddly,
Strand knew who the two people were.
Angela and Axelrod.
"Richard!" blurted Angela. She
didn't make any move to cover herself. Axelrod,
on the other hand, grabbed his pants from
beside the bed and leapt to his feet.
"I don't understand," said Strand numbly.
"You don't
have to understand," said Axelrod. "You're in a lot of trouble.
Where'd you get this code?"
He sucked in his gut and fastened his trousers.
"Code, code," said Strand. "Uh, it was on
that rolled-up paper you gave me in
your office. For snorting the chamomile." Strand wanted
to protect Zip, and this
seemed an opportunity for a vicious lie. He wondered if it was
vicious enough.
"That's nonsense," snarled Axelrod. "You shouldn't trifle with me, Dick.
You're
under quarantine as of right now."
"Quarantine?"
"Time quarantine, Dick. What do you
think you're achieving by blundering into
the hotel like this?"
"Stop calling me Dick."
Axelrod
hurriedly buttoned his shirt and tucked it into his pants. "Listen, old
man," he said,
stepping up to poke a finger at Strand's chest, "you don't seem
to understand --"
Strand
reared back, uncorking his hostility, and, from some unprecedented inner
wellspring,
delivered a championship-caliber punch to Axelrod's midsection. The
younger man fell in a
heap at Strand's feet. Strand noted with satisfaction
Axelrod's bald spot, now quickly
flushing pink. Old man.
"Oh, Jesus, Richard," said Angela.
"Motherfucker," gasped Axelrod
from the floor.
Angela got up, still naked, and helped Axelrod to the bed. Strand watched,
furious. It seemed to him that Angela ought to rush to him and plead out an
explanation.
But apparently she didn't agree.
"Okay," croaked Axelrod, his arms wrapped protectively
around his middle. "Now
listen. You can run if you like, deeper into the hotel --it doesn't
matter. When
you come out I'll catch you and hang you by the balls. Understand?"
"What if I
never come out?" said Strand. "What if I just roam the hotel for a
while? Kick everybody
out, take it over."
Axelrod shook his head. "You'll come out. Trust me. You can get it over
with
fast, or play it out. Either way I'll get you."
"What are you talking about?"
"This is
the future, Dicky-boy. You wanted to learn about the future --fine. But
the future gets to
learn about you, too. You fucked up, and you've got about,
ah, about two weeks before we
catch you."
"Two weeks?"
"Tell him, Angela."
Angela looked up from the bed guiltily. "I -- I
broke it off, Richard. Remember
when I didn't come to the room?"
"Yesterday," said Strand
firmly.
Angela shook her head. "Two weeks ago. We've talked about it, only I guess you
don't
know yet. I'm sorry."
"You -- you don't want to be with me anymore?" Strand ignored
Axelrod's
red-faced sneer.
Angela simply looked down at the floor, and now, only now, grew
modest, reaching
for a sheet to cover her breasts.
"What happened?" said Strand.
She looked
up, her expression pleading. "Oh, Richard. I went to Daniel's office,
about our problem."
She glanced at Axelrod, who nodded, then went on. "Just as
you did. You knew as well as I
did that we needed a way to stop. A way out."
"And Daniel here offered you one."
She nodded
silently.
"You're a married man, Dick," said Axelrod.
Strand sagged. The air had gone out of
his universe. "How could you tell I
didn't know about the breakup yet?"
"You turned in your
platform two weeks ago," said Axelrod. "Right after the
breakup. Renounced no-time. So this
bouncing around, this intrusion -- it had to
be before. There's no way you can return to a
time after you turn in your
platform. We've got you pinned. We're later than you."
"So now I
go back. To have Angela break it off. And then I wait around for the
arrest."
Axelrod
smiled. "It certainly looks that way."
"But no. That can't be right." Strand realized how
little Axelrod knew about the
situation. "You're only learning now. You don't know what
you'll find when you
jump back. Perhaps I'll have vanished. Or perhaps --" He kept himself
from
mentioning Lignorelli's platform. "Maybe by the time you come back I'll own
NoTime,
Inc. I'll have your job. You can't possibly know."
"Not exactly," said Axelrod. "Think it
through. We've seen you around and about
the last two weeks -- Angela had to have someone
to break up with, didn't she?
You came back. So the only indeterminacy is what you did this
afternoon before I
pinned down your location, which I'll do as soon as we go back. In fact,
I have
a much better sense of how you spent the last two weeks than you do. Because for
you
they're the future --unknown."
"It's true, Richard," said Angela.
"So go ahead, Dick. Do
your worst." Axelrod was able to sit up straight now; he
shrugged Angela away and pointed
an accusing finger. "Maybe you're right, maybe
you'll own NoTime. All I know is you didn't
own shit this morning when I left.
You weren't even man enough to come up to the offices
and confront me about
Angela. You'd been avoiding me."
Strand looked to Angela. She softened
her eyes and nodded sadly. Was she
communicating something, offering some hope? Or merely
urging him to follow
Axelrod's sneering orders?
"Go back, Dick," said Axelrod. "Don't make a
mess of it."
Instead Strand punched in the next code from Zip's list, and jumped.
The first
thing he noticed was the banner stretched out over the bed, a fading
printout that read:
STRAND GO HOME. Then he saw the poker game: five grizzled,
middle-aged men sitting around a
card table. The table was littered with
cigarette butts and disarrayed piles of poker
chips; behind it, the bed was
strewn with delicatessen sandwiches. Strand felt something
under his foot. He
looked down. He was standing on a hat.
The men turned to face him. "Can
we help you with something" said one.
"We're all paid up for the room," said another.
Strand
was struck dumb.
"Hey," said one of the others, in an exaggerated tone of wonderment,
"you're
that guy -- you know, the one Danny Axelrod used to talk about -- the one who
went
crazy and got lost in the hotel --"
"Where you been, man?" said another. "They gave up on
you a long time ago."
"I'm not lost," said Strand. "I've been in the hotel less than an
hour."
"You ought to get in touch with Axelrod," said the first man. "He doesn't even
know
you're still here."
Strand took his foot off the hat. "Tell Axelrod to go fuck himself," he
said.
"Tell him to stop playing games with me." He turned and punched a new number
into the
console.
He jumped to the sound of laughter at his back.
The next room was empty. Apart from
the banner again: STRAND GO HOME.
Strand saw now that Axelrod had jumped ahead and spoiled
the hotel. There wasn't
anywhere Axelrod hadn't already been. Strand had a sheet with
twenty-some-odd
codes, but Axelrod had access to the formula that generated codes to begin
with.
And suddenly he understood something else: there wasn't any hotel. There was
only a
room, because that was all there needed to be. One room, extended
endlessly through
no-time. Suddenly the janitor's talk made sense. All the
various liaisons and retreats were
played out not side by side in some vast,
drifting hotel, but one after another in the same
little room, the same little
desk and bed. With an elderly janitor and a scrubhound to swab
it out after each
visit.
It rendered Strand's desperation absurd. He'd been struggling to
inhabit a
single room.
He suddenly felt a terror of isolation there, alone, a thin shell of
cheap
wallboard between him and the no-time. It was the loneliest place there could
possibly
be.
He couldn't think of what to do.
Like Zip, he couldn't go back until he came up with a
move. His opponent, like
Zip's, sat and waited across from an empty chair. Only in Strand's
case his
opponent was ruin, abandonment, and death. And Strand lacked even the option to
draw.
He punched another code into the console.
A woman was standing on the bed, taping the
new GO HOME banner to the wall. One
end draped over a pillow onto the floor.
Securing one
corner with tape, she turned and smiled. "Good to see you again."
She swayed slightly where
she stood on the mattress, towering over Strand.
After a moment he recognized her. "You're
the receptionist. You work for
Axelrod."
She snorted mirthfully. "Axelrod thinks so. I mean,
I do. But I was also waiting
for you, and I'm doing that for myself. And for you."
Strand
wondered how she could know he'd be there now, then blurted, "You got the
list from Zip."
"I know Zip made you a list, and I know what codes he had to use as bases. It's
the same
thing." She shifted her weight and slid a drooping lock of hair from
her forehead. "I
needed to use a calculator, though. Couldn't do it in my head,
the way he does."
Strand
sagged in relief that the boy wasn't in league with Axelrod.
She spoke again. "Axelrod's a
stooge. He has nothing to do with your real
problem. He doesn't even know what it is."
"He
told me he couldn't help me. And he wants to kill me."
"Danny couldn't kill a sick puppy.
And he wouldn't need to help you even if he
wanted. You're not aging in no-time, baby, not
like you think."
He gaped.
"Think about it. How much time do you think you've lost?"
"Five
years, I figure."
She laughed again. "You figure, or you feel? Look, you've been a client
for less
than ten years, and you didn't start using the hotel a whole lot until the last
few weeks. I can give you your real count: it adds up to about six months."
Strand felt
dizzy with bafflement and relief. "But my hair, the ..."
"Listen. You're forty-five years
old. Or maybe forty-five and a half. But that's
it."
He sat on the edge of the bed, not
caring if she looked down on him. "I feel so
stupid."
"Don't. You're not the only one to
worry about that. It's our third-ranking
customer concern."
"I guess I knew I was losing
Angela, and couldn't face it." He started to cry.
"I was using her for so long, and she
never asked me to leave Miriam, and --"
The receptionist sat down on the mattress suddenly
and pressed herself against
his side. "She didn't want you to leave Miriam. If she wanted a
man all to
herself she wouldn't ever have been with you." She snorted again. "And she sure
wouldn't be with Danny Axelrod."
"I'll miss her, though."
She grabbed his arm tightly.
Strand felt her breath chilling the tear streaks on
his face. "Maybe, but you'll miss the
rest of it a lot more. Did Angela herself
need anywhere near the care you had to give to
the planning, the slipping away?"
His tears had dried and her breath was hot on his eyes.
"Didn't you panic the
first time you noticed your watch was hours fast? Did your wife
notice it before
you did, and ask you about it? Didn't it feel great after you lied your
way out
of it? And doesn't it feel great now, every time that you take the watch off
first,
that rush of competence and secrecy?" She breathed. "Some people just
need that, and you
got it with a woman instead of with, say, shoplifting like I
used to." She stopped, her
chest heaving against his sleeve.
Strand recalled the disappointment he felt over Miriam
not noticing when he
called her by the wrong name. "It did take a lot of effort to keep her
from
finding out."
She got a pinched look around her mouth and inhaled sharply. After a
moment he
realized that she'd succeeded at not laughing in his face.
"Oh," he said. "Oh."
"You're not the only one to think that, either." She smiled and released his
arm. "So you
don't really have a problem, not like you thought. You just need to
find another secret to
play chase-me with." She stood and pulled him to his
feet, then kissed him quickly on the
lips, pressing the length of her body up
against him. She smelled lightly of sweat and hair
lacquer.
"You'll go back now, won't you?" she said.
"I suppose so," said Strand. Then he
felt wary. "So you've done your job -- I'll
return, and Axelrod will nab me."
She laughed.
"You should be more trusting. You and Axelrod are exactly the same,
thinking everything's
cops and robbers."
She stepped away and looked at him. "If you want, you can phone me at
NoTime.
It's always me answering, or the service. Now get going, I need to finish this."
She grabbed the loose end of the banner and stepped back up on the mattress.
He hesitated.
Her warmth lingered on his chest and legs. "But if I call you now,
won't it be too early?"
She faced him, laughing and swaying. "What do you mean by 'now'? What do you
mean by
'early'?" She turned back to fussing with the banner.
Strand went to the console.
He started
to punch in the return code, then paused, and substituted another
code from the list.
A
woman lay fully clothed atop the bed, turned on her side away from him. He
felt a
surprising surge of attraction toward her be/ore recognizing her dress.
It was Miriam.
His
nerves iced over, just as when Axelrod had teased him with the murder
accusation. How could
she know I'd be here? he asked himself. He tensed as he
waited for her to turn and confront
him.
As the seconds passed, however, she remained still, showing no sign of turning.
He saw
that she didn't know anyone had entered the room; at the same time he saw
her ribs heaving
in noiseless sobs. On the bedspread beyond her sat several
boxes of tissues. He knew the
brand from her stockpile in the closet. He'd never
thought to wonder why she bought in
bulk.
Used tissues littered the floor. He felt a brief twinge of sympathy for the
janitor,
before reflecting that Miriam probably was one of the easiest clients
to clean up after.
She'd even brought her own towel to catch her tears on the
pillow. The towel was in a color
he hadn't seen around the house in months, that
he'd assumed had been thrown out.
Then he
noticed that it was nearly new.
He punched in the code for Zip's room, back in realtime.
The eye of the world
blinked and he was home.
The room was empty. Strand looked outside and
saw Zip rushing away through the
parking lot, off to make his throw.