THE
MASK
DEAN
KOONTZ
This
book is dedicated to Willo and Dave Roberts
and to
Carol and Don McQuinn who have no faults—
except
that they live too far away from us
A dirge for her, the doubly dead, in that she died so
young.
—Edgar
Allan Poe. “Lenore”
And
much of Madness, and more of Sin, And Horror the soul of the plot.
—Edgar Allan Poe, “The Conqueror Worm”
Extreme
terror gives us back the gestures of our childhood.
—Chazal
Prologue
LAURA was in the cellar, doing some spring cleaning
and hating every minute of it. She didn’t dislike the work itself; she was by
nature an industrious girl who was happiest when she had chores to do. But she
was afraid of the cellar.
For one thing, the place was gloomy. The four
narrow windows, set high in the walls, were hardly larger than embrasures, and
the dust-filmed panes of glass permitted only weak, chalky light to enter. Even
brightened by a pair of lamps, the big room held on tenaciously to its shadows,
unwilling to be completely disrobed. The flickering amber light from the lamps
revealed damp stone walls and a hulking, coal-fired furnace that was cold and
unused on this fine, warm May afternoon. On a series of long shelves, row upon
row of quart jars reflected splinters of light, but their contents—home-canned
fruit and vegetables that had been stored here for the past nine
months—remained unilluminated. The corners of the morn were all dark, and the
low, open-beamed ceiling was hung with shadows like long banners of funeral
crepe.
The cellar always had a mildly unpleasant
odor, too. It was musty, rather like a limestone cave. In the spring and
summer, when the humidity was high, a mottled gray-green fungus sometimes
sprang up in the corners, a disgusting scablike growth, fringed with hundreds
of tiny white spores that resembled insect eggs; that grotesquery added its own
thin but nonetheless displeasing fragrance to the cellar air.
However, neither the gloom nor the offending
odors nor the fungus gave rise to Laura’s fears; it was the spiders that
frightened her. Spiders ruled the cellar. Some of them were small, brown, and
quick; others were charcoal gray, a bit bigger than the brown ones, but just as
fast-moving as their smaller cousins. There were even a few blue-black giants
as large as Laura’s thumb.
As she wiped dust and a few cobwebs from the
jars of home-canned food, always alert for the scuttling movement of spiders,
Laura grew increasingly angry with her mother. Mama could have let her clean
some of the upstairs rooms instead of the cellar Aunt Rachael or Mama herself
could have cleaned down here because neither of them worried about spiders. But
Mama knew that Laura was afraid of the cellar, and Mama was in the mood to
punish her. It was a terrible mood, black as thunderclouds. Laura had seen it
before. Too often. It descended over Mama more frequently with every passing
year, and when she was in its thrall, she was a different person from the
smiling, always singing woman that she was at other times. Although Laura loved
her mother, she did not love the short-tempered, mean-spirited woman that her
mother sometimes became. She did not love the hateful woman who had sent her
down into the cellar with the spiders.
Dusting the jars of peaches, pears, tomatoes,
beets, beans, and pickled squash, nervously awaiting the inevitable appearance
of a spider, wishing she were grown up and married and on her own, Laura was
startled by a sudden, sharp sound that pierced the dank basement air. At first
it was like the distant, forlorn wail of an exotic bird, but it quickly became
louder and more urgent. She stopped dusting, looked up at the dark ceiling, and
listened closely to the eerie ululation that came from overhead. After a moment
she realized that it was her Aunt Rachael’s voice and that it was a cry of
alarm.
Upstairs, something fell over with a crash.
It sounded like shattering porcelain. It must have been Mama’s peacock vase, If
it was the vase, Mama would be in an extremely foul mood for the rest of
the week.
Laura stepped away from the shelves of canned
goods and started toward the cellar stairs, but she stopped abruptly when she
heard Mama scream. It wasn’t a scream of rage over the loss of the vase; there
was a note of terror in it.
Footsteps thumped across the living room
floor, toward the front door of the house. The screen door opened with the
familiar singing of its long spring, then banged shut. Rachael was outside now,
shouting, her words unintelligible but still conveying her fear.
Laura smelled smoke.
She hurried to the stairs and saw pale
tongues of fire at the top. The smoke wasn’t heavy, but it had an acrid stench.
Heart pounding, Laura climbed to the
uppermost step. Waves of heat forced her to squint, but she could see into the
kitchen. The wall of fire wasn’t solid. There was a narrow route of escape, a
corridor of cool safety; the door to the back porch was at the far end.
She lifted her long skirt and pulled it tight
across her hips and thighs, bunching it in both hands to prevent it from
trailing in the flames. She moved gingerly onto the fire-ringed landing, which
creaked under her, but before she reached the open door, the kitchen exploded
in yellow-blue flames that quickly turned orange. From wall to wall, floor to
ceiling, the room was an inferno; there was no longer a path through the blaze.
Crazily, the fire-choked doorway brought to Laura’s mind the image of a
glittering eye in a jack-o’-lantern.
In the kitchen, windows exploded, and the
fire eddied in the sudden change of drafts, pushing through the cellar door,
lashing at Laura. Startled, she stumbled backwards, off the landing. She fell.
Turning, she grabbed at the railing, missed it, and stumbled down the short
flight, cracking her head against the stone floor at the bottom.
She held on to consciousness as if it were a
raft and she a drowning swimmer. When she was certain she wouldn’t faint, she
got to her feet. Pain coruscated across the top of her head. She raised one
hand to her brow and found a trickle of blood, a small abrasion. She was dizzy
and confused.
During the minute or less that she had been
incapacitated, fire had spread across the entire landing at the head of the
stairs. It was moving down onto the first step.
She couldn’t keep her eyes focused. The
rising
stairs and the descending fire repeatedly
blurred together in an orange haze.
Ghosts of smoke drifted down the stairwell.
They reached out with long, insubstantial arms, as if to embrace Laura.
She cupped her hands around her mouth.
“Help!”
No one answered.
“Somebody help me! I’m in the cellar!”
Silence.
“Aunt Rachael! Mama! For God’s sake, somebody
help me!”
The only response was the steadily increasing
roar of the fire.
Laura had never felt so alone before. In
spite of the tides of heat washing over her, she felt cold inside. She shivered.
Although her head throbbed worse than ever,
and although the abrasion above her right eye continued to weep blood, at least
she was having less trouble keeping her eyes focused. The problem was that she
didn’t like what she saw.
She stood statue-still, transfixed by the
deadly spectacle of the flames. Fire crawled lizardlike down the steps, one by
one, and it slithered up the rail posts, then crept down the rail with a crisp,
chuckling sound.
The smoke reached the bottom of the steps and
enfolded her. She coughed, and the coughing aggravated the pain in her head,
making her dizzy again. She put one hand against the wall to steady herself.
Everything was happening too fast. The house
was going up like a pile of well-seasoned tinder.
I’m going to die
here.
That thought jolted her out of her trance.
She wasn’t ready to die. She was far too young. There
was so much of life ahead of her, so many
wonderful things to do, things she had long dreamed about doing. It wasn’t
fair. She refused to die.
She gagged on the smoke. Turning away from
the burning stairs, she put a hand over her nose and mouth, but that didn’t
help much.
She saw flames at the far end of the cellar,
and for an instant she thought she was already encircled and that all hope of
rescue was gone. She cried out in despair, but then she realized the blaze
hadn’t found its way into the other end of the room after all. The two points
of fire that she was seeing were only the twin oil lamps that had provided her
with light. The flames in the lamps were harmless, safely ensconced in tall
glass chimneys.
She coughed violently again, and the pain in
her head settled down behind her eyes. She found it difficult to concentrate.
Her thoughts were like droplets of quicksilver, sliding over one another and
changing shape so often and so fast that she couldn’t make sense of some of
them.
She prayed silently and fervently.
Directly overhead, the ceiling groaned and
appeared to shift. For a few seconds she held her breath, clenched her
teeth, and stood with her hands fisted at her sides, waiting to be buried in
rubble. But then she saw that the ceiling wasn’t going to collapse— not yet.
Trembling, whimpering softly, she scurried to
the nearest of the four high-set windows, It was rectangular, approximately
eight inches from sill to top and eighteen inches from sash to sash, much too
small to provide her with a means of escape. The other three windows were
identical to the first; there was no use even taking a closer look at them.
The air was becoming less breathable by the
second. Laura’s sinuses ached and burned. Her mouth was filled with the
revulsive, bitter taste of the smoke.
For too long she stood beneath the window,
staring up in frustration and confusion at the meager, milky light that came
through the dirty pane and through the haze of smoke that pressed tightly
against the glass. She had the feeling she was overlooking an obvious and
convenient escape hatch; in fact she was sure of it. There was a way
out, and it had nothing to do with the windows, but she couldn’t get her mind off
the windows; she was fixated on them, just as she had been fixated on the
sight of the advancing flames a couple of minutes ago. The pain in her head and
behind her eyes throbbed more powerfully than ever, and with each agonizing
pulsation, her thoughts became more muddled.
I’m going to die
here.
A frightening vision flashed through her
mind. She saw herself afire, her dark hair turned blond by the flames that
consumed it and standing straight up on her head as if it were not hair but the
wick of a candle. In the vision, she saw her face melting like wax, bubbling
and steaming and liquefying, the features flowing together until her face no
longer resembled that of a human being, until it was the hideously twisted countenance
of a leering demon with empty eye sockets.
No!
She shook her head, dispelling the vision.
She was dizzy and getting dizzier. She needed
a draught of clean air to rinse out her polluted lungs, but with each breath
she drew more smoke than she had drawn last time. Her chest ached.
Nearby, a rhythmic pounding began; the noise
was
even louder than her heartbeat, which drummed
thunderously in her ears.
She turned in a circle, gagging and.
coughing, searching for the source of the hammering sound, striving to regain
control of herself, struggling hard to think.
The hammering stopped.
‘‘Laura . .
Above the incessant roar of the tire, she
heard someone calling her name.
“Laura. .
“I’m down here.. . in the cellar!” she
shouted. But the shout came out as nothing more than a whispered croak. Her
throat was constricted and already raw from the harsh smoke and the fiercely
hot air.
The effort required to stay on her feet
became too great for her. She sank to her knees on the stone floor, slumped
against the wall, and slid down until she was lying on her side.
“Laura..." . .
The pounding began again. A fist beating on a
door.
Laura discovered that the air at floor level
was cleaner than that which she had been breathing. She gasped frantically,
grateful for this reprieve from suffocation.
For a few seconds the throbbing pain behind
her eyes abated, and her thoughts cleared, and she remembered the outside
entrance to the cellar, a pair of doors slant-set against the north wall of the
house. They were locked from the inside, so that no one could get in to rescue
her, in the panic and confusion she had forgotten about those doors. But now,
if she kept her wits about her, she would be able to save herself.
“Laura!” It was Aunt Rachael’s voice.
Laura crawled to the northwest corner of the
room, where the doors sloped down at the top of a short flight of steps. She
kept her head low, breathing the tainted but adequate air near the floor. The
edges of the mortared stones tore her dress and scraped skin off her knees.
To her left, the entire stairwell was burning
now, and flames were spreading across the wooden ceiling. Refracted and
diffused by the smoky air, the firelight glowed on all sides of Laura, creating
the illusion that she was crawling through a narrow tunnel of flames. At the
rate the blaze was spreading, the illusion would soon be fact.
Her eyes were swollen and watery, and she
wiped at them as she inched toward escape. She couldn’t see very much. She used
Aunt Rachael’s voice as a beacon and otherwise relied on instinct.
“Laura!” The voice was near. Right above her.
She felt along the wall until she located the
setback in the stone. She moved into that recess, onto the first step, lifted
her head, but could see nothing: the darkness here was seamless.
“Laura, answer me. Baby, are you in there?“
Rachael was hysterical, screaming so loudly
and pounding on the outside doors with such persistence that she wouldn’t have
heard a response even if Laura had been capable of making one.
Where was Mama? Why wasn’t Mama pounding on
the door, too? Didn’t Mama care?
Crouching in that cramped, hot, lightless
space, Laura reached up and put her hand against one of the two slant-set doors
above her bead. The sturdy barrier quivered and rattled under the impact of
Rachael’s
small fists. Laura groped blindly for the
latch. She put her hand over the warm metal fixture—and squarely over something
else, too. Something strange and unexpected. Something that squirmed and was
alive. Small but alive. She jerked convulsively and pulled her hand
away. But the thing she touched had shifted its grip from the latch to her
flesh, and it came away from the door when she withdrew her hand. It skittered
out of her palm and over her thumb and across the back of her hand and along
her wrist and under the sleeve of her dress before she could brush it away.
A spider.
She couldn’t see it, but she knew what it
was. A spider. One of the really big ones, as large as her thumb, a plump black
body that glistened like a fat drop of oil, inky black and ugly. For a moment
she froze, unable even to draw a breath.
She felt the spider moving up her arm, and
its bold advance snapped her into action. She slapped at it through the sleeve
of her dress, but she missed. The spider bit her above the crook of her arm,
and she winced at the tiny nip of pain, and the disgusting creature scurried
into her armpit. It bit her there, too, and suddenly she felt as though she was
living through her worst nightmare, for she feared spiders more than she feared
anything else on earth—certainly more than she feared fire, for in her
desperate attempt to kill the spider, she had forgotten all about the burning
house that was dissolving into ruin above her— and she flailed in panic, lost
her balance, rolled backwards off the steps, into the main room of the cellar,
cracking one hip on the stone floor. The spider tickled its way along the
inside of her bodice until it was
between her breasts. She screamed but could
make no sound whatsoever. She put a hand to her bosom and pressed hard, and
even through the fabric she could feel the spider squirming angrily against the
palm of her hand, and she could feel its frenzied struggle even more directly
on her bare breast, to which it was pressed, but she persisted until at last
she crushed it, and she gagged again, but this time not merely because of the
smoke.
For several seconds after killing the spider,
she lay on the floor in a tight fetal position, shuddering violently and
uncontrollably. The repulsive, wet mass of the smashed spider slid very slowly
down the curve of her breast. She wanted to reach inside her bodice and pluck
the foul wad from herself, but she hesitated because, irrationally, she was
afraid it would somehow come to life again and sting her fingers.
She tasted blood. She had bitten her lip.
Mama...
Mama had done this to her. Mama had sent her
down here, knowing there were spiders. Why was Mama always so quick to deal out
punishment, so eager to assign penance?
Overhead, a beam creaked, sagged. The kitchen
floor cracked open. She felt as though she were staring up into Hell. Sparks
showered down. Her dress caught fire, and she scorched her hands putting it
out.
Mama did this to
me.
Because her palms and fingers were blistered
and peeling, she couldn’t crawl on her hands and knees any longer, so she got
to her feet, although standing up required more strength and determination than
she had thought she possessed. She swayed, dizzy and weak.
Mama sent me down
here.
Laura could see only pulsing,
all-encompassing orange luminescence, through which amorphous smoke ghosts
glided and whirled. She shuffled toward the short flight of steps that led to
the outside cellar doors, but after she had gone only two yards, she realized
she was headed in the wrong direction. She turned back the way she had come—or
back the way she thought she had come—but after a few steps she bumped
into the furnace, which was nowhere near the outside doors. She was completely
disoriented.
Mama did this to
me.
Laura squeezed her ruined hands into raw,
bloody fists. In a rage she pounded on the furnace, and with each blow she
fervently wished that she were beating her mother.
The upper reaches of the burning house
twisted and rumbled. In the distance, beyond an eternity of smoke, Aunt
Rachael’s voice echoed hauntingly: “Laura... Laura. . .“
Why wasn’t Mama out there helping Rachael
break down the cellar doors? Where in God’s name was she? Throwing coal
and lamp oil on the fire?
Wheezing, gasping, Laura pushed away from the
furnace and tried to follow Rachael’s voice to safety.
A beam tore loose of its moorings, slammed
into her back, and catapulted her into the shelves of home canned food. Jars
fell, shattered. Laura went down in a rain of glass. She could smell pickles,
peaches.
Before she could determine if any bones were
broken, before she could even lift her face out of the spilled food, another
beam crashed down, pinning her legs.
There was so much pain that her mind simply
blanked it out altogether. She was not even sixteen years old, and there was
only so much she could bear. She sealed the pain in a dark corner of her mind;
instead of succumbing to it, she twisted and thrashed hysterically, raged at
her fate, and cursed her mother.
Her hatred for her mother wasn’t rational,
but it was so passionately felt that it took the place of the pain she could
not allow herself to feel. Hate flooded through her, filled her with so much
demonic energy that she was nearly able to toss the heavy beam off her legs.
Damn you to Hell,
Mama.
The top floor of the house caved in upon the
ground floor with a sound like cannons blasting.
Damn you, Mama!
Damn you!
The first two floors of flaming rubble broke
through the already weakened cellar ceiling.
Mama—
PART
ONE
Something
Wicked This Way
Comes...
By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked this way comes.
Open, locks,
whoever
knocks!
—Shakespeare,
Macbeth
1
ACROSS the somber gray clouds, lightning
followed a jagged course like cracks in a china plate. In the unsheltered courtyard
outside Alfred O’Brian’s office, the parked cars glimmered briefly with
hard-edged reflections of the storm light. The wind gusted, whipping the trees.
Rain beat with sudden fury against the three tall office windows, then streamed
down the glass, blurring the view beyond.
O’Brian sat with his back to the windows.
While thunder reverberated through the low sky and seemed to hammer on the roof
of the building, he read the application that Paul and Carol Tracy had just
submitted to him.
He’s such a neat little man, Carol thought as
she watched O’Brian. When he sits very still like that, you’d almost think he
was a mannequin.
He was exceedingly well groomed. His
carefully combed hair looked as if it had received the attention of a good barber
less than an hour ago. His mustache was so expertly trimmed that the halves of
it appeared to be perfectly symmetrical. He was wearing a gray suit with
trouser creases as tight and straight as blades, and his black shoes gleamed.
His fingernails were manicured, and his pink, well-scrubbed hands looked
sterile.
When Carol had been introduced to O’Brian
less than a week ago, she had thought he was prim, even prissy, and she had
been prepared to dislike him. She was quickly won over by his smile, by his gracious
manner, and by his sincere desire to help her and Paul.
She glanced at Paul, who was sitting in the
chair next to hers, his own tensions betrayed by the angular position of his
lean, usually graceful body. He was watching O’Brian intently, but when he
sensed that Carol was looking at him, he turned and smiled. His smile was even
nicer than O’Brian’s, and as usual, Carol’s spirits were lifted by the sight of
it. He was neither handsome nor ugly, this man she loved; you might even say he
was plain, yet his face was enormously appealing because the pleasing, open
composition of it contained ample evidence of his gentleness and sensitivity.
His hazel eyes were capable of conveying amazingly subtle degrees and mixtures
of emotions. Six years ago, at a university symposium entitled “Abnormal
Psychology and Modem American Fiction,” where Carol had met Paul, the first
thing that had drawn her to him had been those warm, expressive eyes, and in
the intervening years they had never ceased to intrigue her. Now he winked, and
with that wink he seemed to be saying: Don’t worry;
O’Brian is on our side; the application
will be accepted; everything will turn out all right; I love you.
She winked back at him and pretended to be
confident, even though she was sure he could see through her brave front.
She wished that she could be certain of
winning Mr. O’Brian’s approval. She knew she ought to be overflowing with
confidence, for there really was no reason why O’Brian would reject them. They
were healthy and young. Paul was thirty-five, and she was thirty-one, and those
were excellent ages at which to set out upon the adventure they were
contemplating. Both of them were successful in their work. They were
financially solvent, even prosperous. They were respected in their community.
Their marriage was happy and trouble-free, stronger now than at any time in the
four years since their wedding. In short, their qualifications for adopting a
child were pretty much impeccable, but she worried nonetheless.
She loved children, and she was looking
forward to raising one or two of her own. During the past fourteen years—in
which she had earned three degrees at three universities and had established
herself in her profession—she had postponed many simple pleasures and had
skipped others altogether. Getting an education and launching her career had
always come first. She had missed too many good parties and had foregone an
unremembered number of vacations and getaway weekends. Adopting a child was one
pleasure she did not want to postpone any longer.
She had a strong psychological need—almost a physical
need—to be a mother, to guide and shape children, to give them love and
understanding. She was intelligent enough and sufficiently self-aware to
realize that this deep-seated need arose, at
least in part, from her inability to conceive a child of her own flesh and
blood.
The thing we want most, she thought, is
always the thing we cannot have.
She was to blame for her sterility, which was
the result of an unforgivable act of stupidity committed a long time ago; and
of course her culpability made her condition harder to bear than it would have
been if nature—rather than her own foolishness—had cursed her with a barren
womb. She had been a severely troubled child, for she had been raised by violent,
alcoholic parents who had frequently beaten her and who had dealt out large
doses of psychological torture. By the time she was fifteen, she was a hellion,
engaged in an angry rebellion against her parents and against the world at
large. She hated everyone in those days, especially herself. In the blackest
hours of her confused and tormented adolescence, she had gotten pregnant.
Frightened, panicky, with no one to turn to, she tried to conceal her condition
by wearing girdles, by binding herself with elastic cloth and tape, and by
eating as lightly as possible to keep her weight down. Eventually, however,
complications arose because of her attempts to hide her pregnancy, and she
nearly died. The baby was born prematurely, but it was healthy. She had put it
up for adoption and hadn’t given it much thought for a couple of years, though
these days she often wondered about the child and wished she could have kept it
somehow. At the time, the fact that her ordeal had left her sterile did not
depress her, for she didn’t think she would ever want to be pregnant again. But
with a lot of help and love from a child psychologist named Grace Mitowski,
who did charity work among juvenile wards of
the court, Carol had turned her life completely around.
She had learned to like herself and, years
later, had come to regret the thoughtless actions that had left her barren.
Fortunately, she regarded adoption as a
more-than-adequate solution to her problem. She was capable of giving as much
love to an adopted child as she would have given to her own offspring. She knew
she would be a good and caring mother, and she longed to prove it—not to the
world but to herself; she never needed to prove anything to anyone but herself,
for she was always her own toughest critic.
Mr. O’Brian looked up from the application
and smiled. His teeth were exceedingly white. “This looks really fine,” he
said, indicating the form he had just finished reading. “In fact, it’s
splendid. Not everyone that applies to us has credentials like these.”
“It’s kind of you to say so,” Paul told him.
O’Brian shook his head. “Not at all. It’s
simply the truth. Very impressive.”
Carol said, “Thank you.”
Leaning back in his chair, folding his hands
on his stomach, O’Brian said, “I do have a couple of questions. I’m sure
they’re the same ones the recommendations committee will ask me, so I might as
well get your responses now and save a lot of back-and-forth later on.”
Carol stiffened again.
O’Brian apparently noticed her reaction, for
he quickly said, “Oh, it’s nothing terribly serious. Really, it isn’t. Believe
me—I won’t be asking you half as many questions as I ask most couples who come
to see us.”
In spite of O’Brian’s assurances, Carol
remained tense.
Outside, the storm-dark afternoon sky grew
steadily darker as the thunderheads changed color from gray to blue black,
thickened, and pressed closer to the earth.
O’Brian swiveled in his chair to face Paul.
“Dr. Tracy, would you say you’re an overachiever?”
Paul seemed surprised by the question. He
blinked and said, “I’m not sure what you mean.”
“You are the chairman of the
department of English at the college, aren’t you?”
“Yes. I’m on sabbatical this semester, and
the vice-chairman is handling most things for the time being. Otherwise, I’ve
been in charge of the department for the past year and a half.”
“Aren’t you rather young to hold such a
post?”
“Somewhat young,” Paul admitted. “But that’s
no credit to me. You see, it’s a thankless position, all work and no glory. My
senior colleagues in the department craftily maneuvered me into it so that none
of them would be stuck with the job.”
“You’re being modest.”
“No, I’m really not,” Paul said. “It’s
nothing much.”
Carol knew that he was being modest.
The departmental chairmanship was a prized position, an honor. But she
understood why Paul was playing it down; he had been unsettled by O’Brian’s use
of the word overachiever. She had been unsettled by it, too. Until this
moment she had never thought that an unusually long list of achievements might
count against them.
Beyond the tall windows, lightning zigzagged
down the sky. The day flickered and, just for
a second or two, so did the electric lights in O’Brian’s office.
Still addressing Paul, O’Brian said, “You’re
also an author.”
“Yes.”
“You’ve written a very successful textbook
for use in American literature courses. You’ve turned out a dozen monographs on
a variety of subjects, and you’ve done a local history of the county. And two
children’s books, and a novel
“The novel was about as successful as a horse
trying to walk a tightrope,” Paul said. “The New York Times critic said
it was ‘a perfect example of academic posturing, stuffed full of themes and
symbols, utterly lacking in substance and narrative drive, infused with
ivory-tower naiveté.”
O’Brian smiled. “Does every writer memorize
his bad reviews?”
“I suppose not. But I have that one engraved
on my cerebral cortex because there’s an uncomfortable amount of truth in it.”
“Are you writing another novel? Is that why
you’ve taken a sabbatical?”
Paul was not surprised by the question.
Clearly he now understood what O’Brian was digging for. “Yes, in fact I am writing
a new novel. This one actually has a plot.” He laughed with easy
self-deprecation.
“You’re also involved in charity work.”
“Not much.”
“Quite a lot,” O’Brian disagreed. “The
Children’s Hospital Fund, the Community Chest, the student scholarship program
at the college—all of that in addition to your regular job and your writing.
Yet you don’t think you’re an overachiever?”
“No, I really don’t think I am. The charity
work
amounts to just a couple of meetings a month.
It’s no big thing. It’s the least I can do, considering my own good fortune.”
Paul edged forward on his chair.
“Maybe you’re worried that I won’t have time
to give to a child, but if that’s what’s troubling you, then you can put your
mind at rest. I’ll make the time. This adoption is extremely important
to us, Mr. O’Brian. We both want a child very badly, and if we are lucky enough
to get one, we certainly won’t ever neglect it.”
“Oh, I’m sure you won’t,” O’Brian said
quickly, raising his hands placatingly. “That isn’t at all what I meant to
imply. Oh, certainly not. I’m on your side in this matter. I mean that
very sincerely.” He swiveled to face Carol. “Dr. Tracy—the other Dr.
Tracy— what about you? Do you consider yourself an overachiever?”
Lightning slashed through the panoply of
clouds again, nearer this time than before; it seemed to strike the ground no
more than two blocks away. The ensuing crash of thunder rattled the tall
windows.
Carol used the interruption provided by the
thunderclap to consider her response, and she decided that O’Brian would
appreciate forthrightness more than modesty. “Yes. I’d say I’m an overachiever.
I’m involved in two of the three charities that Paul has his hand in. And I
know I’m a bit young to have established a psychiatric practice as successful
as mine is. I’m also a guest lecturer at the college on a fairly regular basis.
And I’m doing post-doctoral research on autistic children. During the summer I
manage to keep a little vegetable garden going, and I do some needlepoint in
the winter months, and I even brush
my teeth
three times a day, every day, without fail.” O’Brian laughed. “Three
times a day, huh? Oh,
you’re most definitely an
overachiever.”
The warmth of his laughter reassured Carol,
and with renewed confidence she said, “I believe I understand what you’re
concerned about. You’re wondering if Paul and I might expect too much of our
child.”
“Exactly,” O’Brian said. He noticed a speck
of lint on his coat sleeve and plucked it off. “Parents who are overachievers
tend to push their kids too hard, too fast, too soon.”
Paul said, “That’s a problem that arises only
when parents are unaware of the danger. Even if Carol and I are
overachievers—which I’m not prepared to admit just yet—we wouldn’t
pressure our kids to do more than they were capable of doing. Each of us has to
find his own pace in life. Carol and I realize that a child should be guided,
not hammered into a mold.”
“Of course,” Carol said.
O’Brian appeared to be pleased. “I knew you’d
say that—or something very like it.”
Lightning flashed again. This time it seemed
to strike even closer than before, only a block away. Thunder cracked, then
cracked again. The overhead lights dimmed, fluttered, reluctantly came back to
full power.
“In my psychiatric practice, I deal with a
wide variety of patients who have all kinds of problems,”
Carol told O’Brian, “but I specialize in the
mental disorders and emotional disturbances of children and adolescents. Sixty
or seventy percent of my patients are seventeen or younger. I’ve treated
several kids who’ve suffered serious psychological damage at the hands of
parents who were too demanding, who pushed them too hard in their schoolwork,
in every aspect of their intellectual and personal development. I’ve seen the
wounded ones, Mr. O’Brian, and I’ve nursed them as best I could, and because of
those experiences, I couldn’t possibly turn around and do to my children what
I’ve seen some parents do to theirs. Not that I won’t make mistakes. I’m sure I
will. My full share of them. But the one that you mentioned won’t be among
them.”
“That’s valid,” O’Brian said, nodding. “Valid
and very well put. I’m sure that when I tell the recommendations committee what
you’ve just said, they’ll be quite satisfied on this point.” He spotted another
tiny speck on his sleeve and removed it, frowning as if it were not merely
lint, but offal. “Another question they’re bound to ask: Suppose the child you
adopt turns out to be not only an underachiever but. . . well... basically less
intelligent than either of you. For parents as oriented toward an intellectual
life as you are, wouldn’t you be somewhat frustrated with a child of just average—or
possibly slightly below average— intelligence?”
“Well, even if we were capable of having a
child of our own,” Paul said, “there wouldn’t be any guarantee that he’d be a
prodigy or anything of that sort. But if he was. . . slow. . . we’d still love him.
Of course we would. And the same goes for any child we might adopt.”
To O’Brian, Carol said, “I think you’ve got
too high an opinion of us. Neither of us is a genius, for heaven’s sake!
We’ve gotten as far as we have primarily through hard work and perseverance,
not be-
cause we were exceptionally bright. I wish it
had come that easy, but it didn’t.”
“Besides,” Paul said, “you don’t love a
person merely because he’s intelligent. It’s his entire personality that
counts, the whole package, and a lot of factors contribute to that package, a
great many things other than just intellect.”
“Good,” O’Brian said. “I’m glad to hear you
feel that way. The committee will respond well to that answer, too.”
For the past few seconds, Carol had been
aware of the distant wail of sirens. Fire engines. Now they were not as distant
as they had been; they were rapidly growing nearer, louder.
“I think maybe one of those last two bolts of
lightning caused some real damage when it touched down,” Paul said.
O’Brian swung his chair around toward the
center window, which was directly behind his desk. “It did sound as if
it struck nearby.”
Carol looked at each of the three windows,
but she couldn’t see any smoke rising from behind the nearest rooftops. Then
again, the view was blurred and visibility was reduced by the water-spotted
panes of glass and by the curtains of mist and gray rain that wavered and
whipped and billowed beyond the glass.
The sirens swelled.
“More than one truck,” O’Brian said.
The fire engines were right outside the
office for a moment—at least two trucks, perhaps three—and then they passed,
heading into the next block.
O’Brian pushed up from his chair and stepped
to the window.
As the first sirens dwindled just a little,
new ones shrieked in the street behind them.
“Must be serious,” Paul said. “Sounds as if
at least two engine companies are responding.”
“I see smoke,” O’Brian said.
Paul rose from his chair and moved toward the
windows to get a better look.
Something’s wrong here.
That thought snapped into Carol’s mind,
startling her as if a whip had cracked in front of her face. A powerful,
inexplicable current of panic surged through her, electrified her. She gripped
the arms of her chair so tightly that one of her fingernails broke.
Something. . . is.. . wrong.. . very wrong...
Suddenly the air was oppressively heavy—hot, thick,
as if it were not air at all but a bitter and poisonous gas of some kind.
She tried to breathe, couldn’t. There was an invisible, crushing weight on her
chest.
Get away from the windows!
She tried to shout that warning, but panic
had short-circuited her voice. Paul and O’Brian were at different windows, but
they both had their backs to her, so that neither of them could see she had
been gripped by sudden, immobilizing fear.
Fear of what? she demanded of herself. What
in the name of God am l so scared of?
She struggled against the unreasonable terror
that had locked her muscles and joints. She started to get up from the chair,
and that was when it happened.
A murderous barrage of lightning crashed like
a volley of mortar fire, seven or eight tremendous bolts, perhaps more than
that—she didn’t count them, couldn’t count them—one right after the other,
with-
out a significant pause between them, each
fierce boom overlapping the ones before and after it, yet each clearly louder
than its predecessors, so loud that they made her teeth and bones vibrate, each
bolt smashing down discernibly closer to the building than had the bolt before
it, closer to the seven-foot-high windows—the gleaming, flashing, rattling,
now-black, now-milky, now-shining, now-blank, now-silvery, now-coppery windows.
The sharp bursts of purple-white light
produced a series of jerky, stroboscopic images that were burned forever into
Carol’s memory: Paul and O’Brian standing there, silhouetted against the
natural fireworks, looking small and vulnerable; outside, the rain descending
in an illusion of hesitation; wind-lashed trees heaving in a strobe-choppy
rage; lightning blasting into one of those trees, a big maple, and then an
ominous dark shape rising from the midst of the explosion, a torpedo like
thing, spinning straight toward the center window (all of this transpiring in
only a second or two, but given a queer, slow-motion quality by the flickering
lightning and, after a moment, by the overhead electric light as well, which
began to flicker, too); O’Brian throwing one arm up in front of his face in
what appeared to be half a dozen disconnected movements; Paul turning toward
O’Brian and reaching for him, both men like figures on a motion picture screen
when the film slips and stutters in the projector; O’Brian lurching sideways;
Paul seizing him by a coat sleeve, pulling him back and down toward safety
(only a fraction of a second after the lightning splintered the maple); a huge
tree limb bursting through the center window even as Paul was pulling O’Brian
out of the way; one leafy branch sweeping
across O’Brian’s head, ripping his glasses
loose, tossing them into the air—his face, Carol thought, his eyes!—and then
Paul and O’Brian falling to the floor, out of sight; the enormous limb of the
shattered maple slamming down on top of O’Brian’s desk in a spray of water,
glass, broken mullions, and smoking chips of bark; the legs of the desk
cracking and collapsing under the brutal impact of the ruined tree.
Carol found herself on the floor, beside her
overturned chair. She couldn’t remember falling.
The fluorescent tubes blinked off, stayed
off.
She was lying on her stomach, one cheek
pressed to the floor, staring in shock at the shards of glass and the torn
maple leaves that littered the carpet. As lightning continued to stab down from
the turbulent sky, wind roared through the missing window and stirred some of
the loose leaves into a frantic, dervishlike dance; accompanied by the
cacophonous music of the storm, they whirled and capered across the office,
toward a row of green filing cabinets. A calendar flapped off the wall and
swooped around on wings of January and December, darting and soaring and kiting
as if it were a bat. Two paintings rattled on their wire hangers, trying to
tear themselves free. Papers were everywhere—stationery, forms, small sheets
from a note pad, bulletins, a newspaper—all rustling and skipping this way and
that, floating up, diving down, bunching together and slithering along the
floor with a snakelike hiss.
Carol had the eerie feeling that all of the
movement in the room was not solely the result of the wind, that some of it was
caused by a . . . presence. Something threatening. A bad poltergeist.
Demonic spirits seemed
to be at work in the office, flexing their
occult muscles, knocking things off the walls, briefly taking up residence in a
body composed only of leaves and rumpled sheets of newsprint.
That was a crazy idea, not at all the sort of
thing she would ordinarily think of. She was surprised and disconcerted by a
thrill of superstitious fear that coursed through her.
Lightning flared again. And again.
Wincing at the painfully sharp sound,
wondering if lightning could get into a room through an open window, she put
her arms over her head, for what little protection they provided.
Her heart was pounding, and her mouth was
dry.
She thought about Paul, and her heartbeat
grew even more frantic. He was over by the windows, on the far side of the
desk, out of sight, under some of the maple tree’s branches. She didn’t think
he was dead. He hadn’t been directly in the path of the tree. O’Brian might be
dead, yes, depending on how that small branch had struck his head, depending on
whether he had been lucky or not, because maybe a pointed twig had been driven
deep into his eye and his brain when his glasses had been knocked off, but Paul
was surely alive. Surely. Nevertheless, he could be seriously injured,
bleeding.
Carol started to push herself up onto her
hands and knees, anxious to find Paul and give him any first aid he might need.
But another bolt of blinding, ear shattering lightning spent itself just
outside the building, and fear turned her muscles into wet rags. She didn’t
even have the strength to crawl, and she was infuriated by her weakness, for
she had always
been proud of her strength, determination,
and unflagging willpower. Cursing herself, she slumped back to the floor.
Something’s trying to stop us from
adopting a baby.
That incredible thought struck her with the
same cold, hard force as had the forewarning of the window's implosion, which
had come to her an instant before the impossible barrage of lightning had
blasted into the courtyard.
Something’s trying to stop us from
adopting a baby.
No. That was ridiculous. The storm, the
lightning—they were nothing more than acts of nature. They hadn’t been directed
against Mr. O’Brian just because he was going to help them adopt a child.
Absurd.
Oh, yeah? she thought as the deafening thunder
and the unholy light of the storm filled the room. Acts of nature, huh? When
have you ever seen lightning like this before?
She hugged the floor, shaking, cold, more
afraid than she had been since she was a little girl. She tried to tell herself
that it was only the lightning that she was afraid of, for that was very much a
legitimate, rational fear, but she knew she was lying. It was not just
the lightning that terrified her. In fact, that was the least of it. There was
something else, something she couldn’t identify, something formless and
nameless in the room, and the very presence of it, whatever the hell it was,
pushed a panic button deep inside her, on a sub-subconscious, primitive level;
this fear was gut-deep, instinctive.
A dervish of windblown leaves and papers
whirled across the floor, directly toward her. It was a big one:
a column about two feet in diameter, five or
six feet
high, composed of a hundred or more pieces of
this and that. It stopped very near her, writhing, churning, hissing, changing
shape, glimmering silver-dark in the flashing storm light, and she felt
threatened by it. As she stared up at the whirlwind, she had the mad notion
that it was staring down at her. After a moment it moved off to the left a few
feet, then returned, paused in front of her again, hesitated, then scurried
busily to the right, but came back once more, looming above her as if it were
trying to make up its mind whether or not to pounce and tear her to shreds and
sweep her up along with the leaves, newspaper pages, envelopes, and other
flotsam by which it defined itself.
It’s nothing more than a whirlwind of
lifeless junk! she told herself angrily.
The wind-shaped phantom moved away from her.
See? she told herself scornfully. Just
lifeless junk. What’s wrong with me? Am I losing my mind?
She recalled the old axiom that was supposed
to provide comfort in moments like this: If you think you’re going mad, then
you must be completely sane, for a lunatic never has doubts about his sanity.
As a psychiatrist, she knew that hoary bit of wisdom was an oversimplification
of complex psychological principles, but in essence it was true. So she must be
sane.
Nevertheless, that frightening, irrational
thought came to her again, unbidden, unwanted: Something’s trying to stop us
from adopting a baby.
If the maelstrom in which she lay was not an
act of nature, then what was it? Was she to believe that the lightning
had been sent with the conscious intent of transforming Mr. O’Brian into a
smoking heap of charred flesh? That was a fruitcake notion, for sure.
Who could use lightning as if it were a
pistol? God? God wasn’t sitting up in Heaven, aiming at Mr. O’Brian, popping
away at him with lightning bolts, just to screw up the adoption process for
Carol and Paul Tracy. The Devil? Blasting away at poor Mr. O’Brian from the
depths of Hell? That was a looney idea. Jesus!
She wasn’t even sure she believed in God, but
she knew she definitely did not believe in the Devil.
Another window imploded, showering glass over
her.
Then the lightning stopped.
The thunder decreased from a roar to a
rumble, fading like the noise of a passing freight train.
There was a stench of ozone.
The wind was still pouring in through the
broken windows, but apparently with less force than it had exerted a moment
ago, for the whirling columns of leaves and papers subsided to the floor, where
they lay in piles, fluttering and quivering as if exhausted.
Something...
Something...
Something’s trying to stop us from— She clamped off that unwanted thought as though
it were a spurting artery. She was an
educated woman, dammit. She prided herself on her levelheadedness and common
sense. She couldn’t permit herself to succumb to these disturbing,
uncharacteristic, utterly superstitious fears.
Freaky weather—that was the explanation for
the lightning. Freaky weather. You read about such things in the newspapers
every once in a while. A half an inch of snow in Beverly Hills. An
eighty-degree day in the middle of an otherwise frigid Minnesota winter.
Rain falling briefly from an apparently
cloudless blue sky. Although a lightning strike of this magnitude and intensity
was undoubtedly a rare occurrence, it probably had happened before, sometime,
somewhere, probably more than once. Of course it had. Of course.
In fact, if you picked up one of those
popular books in which the authors compiled all kinds of world records, and if
you turned to the chapter on weather, and if you looked for a subsection
entitled “Lightning,” you would most likely find an impressive list of other
serial lightning strikes that would put this one to shame. Freaky weather.
That’s what it was. That’s all it was. Nothing stranger than that,
nothing worse.
For the time being, at least, Carol managed
to put aside all thoughts of demons and ghosts and malign poltergeists and
other such claptrap.
In the relative quiet that followed in the
wake of the fast-diminishing thunder, she felt her strength returning. She
pushed up from the floor, onto her knees. With the clinking sound of mildly
disturbed wind chimes, pieces of glass fell from her gray skirt and green
blouse; she wasn’t cut or even scratched. She was a bit dazed, however, and for
a moment the floor appeared to roll sickeningly from side to side, as if this
were a stateroom aboard a ship.
In the office next door, a woman began to cry
hysterically. There were shouts of alarm, and someone began calling for Mr.
O’Brian. No one had yet burst into the office to see what had happened, which
meant that only a second or two had elapsed since the lightning had stopped,
although it seemed to Carol as if a minute or two had passed.
Over by the windows, someone groaned softly.
‘Paul?” she said.
if there was an answer, it was drowned out by
a sudden gust of wind that briefly stirred the papers and leaves again.
She recalled the way that branch had whipped
across O’Brian’s head, and she shuddered. But Paul hadn’t been touched. The
tree had missed him. Hadn’t it?
“Paul !“
With renewed fear, she got to her feet and
moved quickly around the desk, stepping over splintered maple branches and an
overturned wastebasket.
2
THAT Wednesday afternoon, following a lunch
of Campbell’s vegetable soup and a grilled cheese sandwich, Grace Mitowski went
into her study and curled up on the sofa to sleep for an hour or so. She never
napped in the bedroom because that formalized it somehow, and though she had
been taking naps three or four days a week for the past year, she still had not
reconciled herself to the fact that she needed a midday rest. To her way of
thinking, naps were for children and for old, used-up, burnt-out people. She
wasn’t in her childhood any more—neither the first nor the second, thank
you—and although she was old, she certainly wasn’t used up or burnt out.
Being in bed in the middle of the day made her feel lazy, and she couldn’t
abide laziness in anyone, especially not in herself. Therefore, she took naps
on the study sofa, with her back to the shuttered windows, lulled by the monotonous
ticking of the mantel clock.
At seventy, Grace was still as mentally agile
and energetic as she had ever been. Her gray matter hadn’t begun to deteriorate
at all; it was only her treacherous body that caused her grief and frustration.
She had a touch of arthritis in her hands, and when the humidity was high—as it
was today—she also suffered from a dull but unrelenting ache of bursitis in her
shoulders. Although she did all of the exercises that her doctor recommended,
and although she walked two miles every morning, she found it increasingly
difficult to maintain her muscle tone. From the time she was a young girl,
throughout most of her life, she had been in love with books, and she had been
able to read all morning, all afternoon, and most of the evening without
eyestrain; nowadays, usually after only a couple of hours of reading, her eyes
felt grainy and hot. She regarded each of her infirmities with extreme
indignation, and she struggled against them, even though she knew this was a
war she was destined to lose.
That Wednesday afternoon she took a break
from the battle, a brief period of R and R. Two minutes after she stretched out
on the sofa, she was asleep.
Grace did not dream often, and she was even
less often plagued by bad dreams. But Wednesday afternoon, in the
book-lined study, her sleep was continuously disturbed by nightmares. Several
times she stirred, came half awake, and heard herself gasping in panic. Once,
drifting up from some hideous and threatening vision, she heard her own voice
crying out wordlessly in terror, and she realized she was thrashing on the
couch, twisting and torturing her
aching shoulders. She tried to come fully
awake, but she could not; something in the dream, something dark and menacing,
reached up with icy, clammy hands and pulled her down into deep sleep again,
down and down, all the way down into a lightless place where an unnamable
creature gibbered and muttered and chuckled in a mucous-wet voice.
An hour later, when she finally woke up and
managed to cast off the clutching dream, she was standing in the middle of the
shadow-shrouded room, several steps away from the sofa, but she had no memory
of getting to her feet. She was shaking, sheathed in sweat.
—I’ve got to tell Carol Tracy.
—Tell her what?
—Warn her.
—Warn her about what?
—It’s coming. Oh, God...
—What’s coming?
—Just like in the dream.
—What about the dream?
Already her memory of the nightmare had begun
to dissolve; only fragments of it remained with her, and each of those
disassociated images was evaporating as if it were a splinter of dry ice. All
she could remember was that Carol had been a part of it, and had been in awful
danger. And somehow she knew that the dream had been more than just an ordinary
dream....
As the nightmare receded, Grace became uncomfortably
aware of how gloomy the study was. Before taking her nap, she had switched off
the lamps. The shutters were all closed, and only thin blades of light Were
visible between the wooden slats. She had the irrational but unshakable feeling
that something had followed her up from the dream, something vicious and evil
that had undergone a magical metamorphosis from a creature of the imagination
into one composed of solid flesh, something that was now crouched in a corner,
watching, waiting.
—Stop it!
—But the dream was...
—Only a dream.
Along the edges of the shutters, the taut
threads of light abruptly brightened, then dimmed, then grew bright again as
lightning flashed outside. A roof-rattling crash of thunder quickly followed,
and more lightning, too, an unbelievable amount of it, one blue-white explosion
after another, so that for at least half a minute the cracks in the shutters
looked like sputtering electrical wires, white-hot with sparking current.
Still drugged with sleep and slightly
confused, Grace stood in the middle of the unlighted room, rocking from side to
side, listening to the thunder and the wind, watching the intense pulse of
lightning. The extreme violence of the storm seemed unreal, and she concluded
that she was still under the influence of the dream, misinterpreting what she
was seeing. It couldn’t possibly be as savage outside as it appeared to be.
“Grace..."
She thought she heard something call to her
from over by the tallest set of bookshelves, directly behind her. Judging from
its slurred, distorted pronunciation of her name, its mouth was severely
malformed.
There’s nothing behind me! Nothing.
Nevertheless, she did not turn around.
When the lightning finally stopped and the
long-sustained crescendo of thunder subsided, the air seemed thicker than it
had been a minute ago. She had difficulty breathing. The room was darker, too.
‘Grace. .
A confining mantle of claustrophobia settled
over her. The dimly visible walls appeared to ripple and move closer, as if the
chamber might shrink around her until it was precisely the size and shape of a
coffin.
“Grace. .
She stumbled to the nearest window, banging
her hip against the desk, nearly tripping over a lamp cord. She fumbled with
the lever on the shutters, her fingers stiff and unresponsive. At last the
slats opened wide; gray but welcome light poured into the study; forcing her to
squint but gladdening her as well. She leaned against the shutters and stared
out at the cloud-plated sky, resisting the insane urge to look over her
shoulder to see if there really was something monstrous lurking there with a
hungry grin on its face. She drew deep, gasping breaths, as if the daylight
itself—rather than the air—sustained her.
Grace’s house was atop a small knoll, at the
end of a quiet street, sheltered by several large pine trees and by one
enormous weeping willow; from her study window she could see the rain-swollen
Susquehanna a couple of miles away. Harrisburg, the state capital, huddled solemnly,
drearily along the river’s banks. The clouds hung low over the city, trailing
bedraggled beards of mist that obscured the upper floors of the tallest
buildings.
When she’d blinked the last grains of sleep
out of her eyes, when her nerves had stopped jangling, she turned around and
surveyed the room. A quiver of relief swept through her, unknotting her
muscles.
She was alone.
With the storm temporarily quiet, she could
hear the mantel clock again. It was the only sound.
Hell, yes, you’re alone, she told herself
scornfully. What did you expect? A green goblin with three eyes and a mouthful
of sharp teeth? You better watch yourself, Grace Louise Mitowski, or you’ll
wind up in a rest home, sitting all day in a rocking chair, happily chatting
with ghosts, while smiling nurses wipe drool off your chin.
Having led an active life of the mind for so
many years, she worried more about creeping senility than about anything else.
She knew she was as sharp and alert as she had ever been. But what about
tomorrow and the day after? Because of her medical training, and because she
had kept up with her professional reading even after closing down her
psychiatric practice, she was up to date on all the latest findings about
senility, and she knew that only fifteen percent of all elderly people suffered
from it. She also knew that more than half of those cases were treatable with
proper nutrition and exercise. She knew her chances of becoming mentally
incapacitated were small, only about one in eighteen. Nevertheless, although
she was conscious of her excessive sensitivity regarding the subject, she still
worried. Consequently, she was understandably disturbed by this
uncharacteristic notion that something had been in the study with her a few
moments ago, something hostile and. . . supernatural. As a lifelong skeptic
with little or no patience for astrologers and psychics and their ilk, she
could not justify even a fleeting belief in such superstitious non-sense; to
her way of thinking, beliefs of that nature were. . . well. . . feebleminded.
But good, sweet God, what a nightmare that
had been!
She had never before experienced a dream even
one-tenth as bad as that one. Although the grisly details had completely faded
away, she could still clearly remember the mood of it—the terror, the
gut-wrenching horror that had permeated every nasty image, every ticking sound.
She shivered.
The sweat that the dream had squeezed out of
her was beginning to feel like a thin glaze of ice on her skin.
The only other thing she remembered from the
nightmare was Carol. Screaming. Crying for help.
Until now, none of Grace’s infrequent dreams
had included Carol, and there was a temptation to view her appearance in this
one with alarm, to see it as an omen. But of course it wasn’t surprising that
Carol should eventually have a role in one of Grace’s dreams, for the
loved-one-in-danger theme was common in nightmares. Any psychologist would
attest to that, and Grace was a psychologist, a good one, although she was
entering her third year of retirement. She cared deeply about Carol. If she’d
had a child of her own, she couldn’t have loved it any more than she loved
Carol.
She had first met the girl sixteen years ago,
when Carol had been an angry, obstinate, obstreperous fifteen-year-old
delinquent who had recently given birth to a baby that had nearly killed her,
and who, subsequent to that traumatic episode, had been remanded
to a juvenile detention facility for
possession of marijuana and for a host of other offenses. In those days, in
addition to a private psychiatric practice, Grace had performed eight hours a
week of free service to assist the overworked counseling staff at the reform
school in which Carol was held. Carol was incorrigible, determined to kick you
in the teeth if you smiled at her, but even then her intelligence and innate
goodness were there, to be seen by anyone who looked closely enough, beneath
the rough exterior. Grace had taken a very close look indeed, and had been
intrigued, impressed. The girl’s obsessively foul language, her vicious temper,
and her amoral pose had been nothing more than defense mechanisms, shields with
which she protected herself from the physical and psychological abuse dished
out by her parents.
As Grace gradually unearthed the horrendous
story of Carol’s monstrous home life, she became convinced that reform school
was the wrong place for the girl. She used her influence with the court to get
Carol permanently removed from the custody of her parents. Later, she arranged
to serve as Carol’s foster parent. She had watched the girl respond to love and
guidance, had watched her grow from a brooding, self centered, self-destructive
teenager into a warm, self-assured, admirable young woman with hopes and
dreams, a woman of character, a sensitive woman. Playing a part in that
exciting transformation had been perhaps the most satisfying thing that Grace
had ever done.
The only regret she had about her
relationship with Carol was the role she had played in putting the baby up for
adoption. But there had been no reasonable alternative. Carol simply hadn’t
been financially or emotionally or mentally capable of providing for the
infant. With that responsibility to attend to, she would never have had an
opportunity to grow and change. She would have been miserable all her life, and
she would have made her child miserable, too. Unfortunately, even now, sixteen
years later, Carol felt guilty about giving her baby away. Her guilt became
overpowering on each anniversary of the child’s birth. On that black day, Carol
sank into a deep depression and became uncharacteristically uncommunicative.
The excessive anguish that she suffered on that one day was evidence of the
deep-seated, abiding guilt that she carried with her, to a lesser degree,
during the rest of the year. Grace wished she had foreseen this reaction,
wished she had done more to assuage Carol’s guilt.
I’m a psychologist, after all, she thought. I
should have anticipated it.
Perhaps when Carol and Paul adopted someone
else’s child, Carol would feel that the scales had at last been balanced. The
adoption might relieve some of her guilt, in time.
Grace hoped it would. She loved Carol like a
daughter and wanted only the best for her.
And of course she couldn’t bear the thought
of losing Carol. Therefore, Carol’s appearance in a nightmare wasn’t the least
bit mysterious. It was certainly not an omen.
Clammy with stale sweat, Grace turned to the
study window again, seeking warmth and light, but the day was ashen, chilly,
forbidding. Wind pressed on the glass, soughed softly under the eaves one floor
above.
In the city, near the river, a roiling column
of smoke rose into the rain and mist. She had not noticed it a minute ago, but
it must have been there; it was too much smoke to have appeared in only a few
seconds. Even from this distance, she could see a glint of fire at the base of
the dark column.
She wondered if lightning had done the dirty
work. She recalled the storm flashing and roaring with extraordinary power in
those first seconds after she had awakened. At the time, groggy and
bleary-eyed, she had thought her sleep-dulled senses were misleading her and
that the extreme violence of the lightning was largely illusory or even
imaginary. Could that incredible, destructive barrage have been real after all?
She glanced at her wristwatch.
Her favorite radio station would carry its
hourly newscast in less than ten minutes. Maybe there would be a story about
the fire and the lightning.
After she’d straightened the throw pillows on
the sofa, she stepped out of the study and spotted Aristophanes at the far end
of the downstairs hall, near the front door. He was sitting up straight and
tall, his tail curled forward and across his front paws, his head held high, as
if he were saying, “A Siamese cat is the very best thing on earth, and I am an
exceedingly handsome example of the species, and don’t you dare forget it.”
Grace held one hand toward him, rapidly
rubbing her thumb against her forefinger. “Kitty-kitty-kitty.”
Aristophanes didn’t move.
“Kitty-kitty-kitty. Come here, Ari. Come on, baby.”
Aristophanes got up and went through the
archway on his left, into the dark living room.
“Stubborn damn cat,” she said affectionately.
She went into the downstairs bathroom and
washed her face and combed her hair. The mundane task of grooming herself took
her mind off the nightmare. Gradually, she began to relax. Her eyes were watery
and bloodshot. She rinsed them out with a few drops of Murine.
When she came out of the bathroom,
Aristophanes was sitting in the hallway again, watching her.
“Kitty-kitty-kitty,” she coaxed.
He stared unblinkingly.
“Kitty-kitty-kitty.”
Aristophanes rose to his feet, cocked his
head, and examined her with curious, shining eyes. When she took a step toward
him, he turned and quickly slunk away, casting one backward glance, then
disappearing into the living room again.
“Okay,” Grace said. “Okay, buster. Have it
your way. Snub me if you want. But just see if there’s any Meow Mix in your bowl
tonight.”
In the kitchen she snapped on the lights,
then the radio. The station came in clearly enough, though there was a
continuous crackle of storm-generated static.
While she listened to tales of economic
crises and breathless accounts of airplane hijackings and rumors of war, Grace
put a clean paper filter in the coffee machine, filled the brewing basket with
drip-ground Colombian, and added half a spoonful of chicory. The story of the
fire came at the end of the newscast, and it was only a sketchy bulletin. The
reporter knew nothing more than that lightning had struck a couple of buildings
in the heart of the city and that one of them, a church, was afire. He promised
more details on the half hour.
When the coffee was ready, Grace poured some
for herself. She took her mug to the small table by the kitchen’s only window,
pulled out a chair, and sat down.
In the backyard, the myriad roses—red, pink,
orange, white, yellow—looked preternaturally bright, almost phosphorescent,
against the cinereous backdrop of the rain.
Two psychology journals had arrived in the
morning mail. Grace opened one of them with pleasant anticipation.
Halfway through an article about new findings
in criminal psychology, as she finished her first mug of coffee, there was a
pause between songs on the radio, a few seconds of dead air, and in that brief
quietude, she heard furtive movement behind her. She turned in her chair and
saw Aristophanes.
“Come to apologize?” she asked.
Then she realized that he appeared to have
been sneaking up on her, and that now, confronted, he was frozen; every lithe
muscle in his small body was spring-taut, and the fur bristled along his arched
back.
“Ari? What’s wrong, you silly cat?”
He whirled and ran out of the kitchen.
3
CAROL sat in a chrome chair with shiny black
vinyl cushions, and she slowly sipped whiskey from a paper cup.
Paul slumped in the chair next to hers. He
didn’t sip his whiskey; he gulped the stuff. It was an excellent bourbon, Jack
Daniel’s Black Label, thoughtfully provided by an attorney named Marvin
Kwicker, who had offices down the hail from Alfred O’Brian and Who realized
that a restorative was urgently needed. Pouring bourbon for Carol, Marvin had
said, “Kwicker With liquor,” which he had probably said ten thousand times
before, but he still enjoyed his own joke. “Kwicker with liquor,” he repeated
when dispensing a double shot to Paul. Although Paul wasn’t much of a drinker,
he needed every drop that the attorney gave him. His hands were still shaking.
The reception lounge that served O’Brian’s
office was not large, but most of the people who worked on the same floor had
congregated here to talk about the lightning that had shaken the building, to
marvel that the place hadn’t caught fire, to express surprise that the electric
power had been restored so quickly, and to wait their turns for a peek at the
nibble and ruin in O’Brian’s inner sanctum. The resultant roar of conversation
did nothing to soothe Paul’s nerves.
Every thirty seconds or so, a bleached blonde
with a shrill voice repeated the same words of amazement:
“I can’t believe nobody got killed in all
that! I can’t believe nobody got killed.” Each time she spoke,
regardless of where she was in the room, her voice carried over the din and
made Paul wince. “I can’t believe nobody got killed.” She sounded
somewhat disappointed.
Alfred O’Brian was sitting at the reception
desk. His secretary, a prim-looking woman whose hair was drawn back in a tight
bun, was trying to apply Merthiolate to half a dozen scratches on her boss’s
face, but O’Brian seemed more concerned about the condition of his suit than he
was about himself. He plucked and brushed at the dirt, lint, and small
fragments of tree bark that clung to his jacket.
Paul finished his whiskey and looked at
Carol. She was still badly shaken. Contrasted with her glossy dark hair, her
face was very pale.
Apparently, she saw the concern in his eyes,
for she took his hand, squeezed it, and smiled reassuringly. However, the smile
didn’t set well on her lips; it was tremulous.
He leaned close to her, so that she could
hear him above the excited chatter of the others. “Ready to get out of here?”
She nodded.
Over by the window, a young executive type
raised his voice. “Hey! Hey, everybody! Better look sharp. The TV news people
just drove up to the front door.”
“If we get trapped by reporters,” Carol said,
“we’ll be here an hour or more.”
They left without saying goodbye to O’Brian.
In the hall, as they headed toward a side entrance, they slipped into their
raincoats. Outside, Paul opened his umbrella and put one arm around Carol’s
waist. They hurried across the slippery macadam parking lot, stepping gingerly
around huge puddles. The gusting wind was chilly for early September, and it
kept changing direction until it finally got under the umbrella and turned it
inside out. The cold, wind-driven rain was falling so hard that it stung Paul’s
face. By the time they reached the car, their hair was plastered to their
heads, and a lot of water had found its way down the backs of their necks,
under the collars of their coats.
Paul half expected the Pontiac to be
lightning-damaged, but it was just as they had left it. The engine turned over
without protest.
Leaving the parking lot, he started to turn
left but put his foot on the brake pedal when he saw that the street was sealed
off by police cars and fire trucks just half a block away. The church was still
ablaze, in spite of the pouring rain and in defiance of the big streams of
water that the firemen directed onto it.
Black smoke billowed into the gray day, and
behind the blasted windows, flames spurted and churned.
Clearly, the church was going to be a total
loss.
He turned right, instead, and drove home
through rain-choked streets. where the gutters overflowed and where every
depression in the pavement had been transformed into a treacherous lake that
had to be negotiated with utmost caution to avoid drowning the engine and
stalling out.
Carol slouched in her seat and huddled
against the passenger-side door, hugging herself. Although the heater was on,
she was obviously cold.
Paul realized his teeth were chattering.
The trip home took ten minutes. and during
that time neither of them said a word. The only sounds were the whispery hiss
of the tires on the wet pavement and the metronomic thump of the windshield
wipers. The silence was not uncomfortable or strained, but there was a peculiar
intensity about it, an aura of tremendous, pent-up energy. Paul had the feeling
that if he did speak, the surprise would send Carol straight through the
roof of the car.
They lived in a Tudor-style house, which they
had painstakingly restored, and as always. the sight of it—the stone walk, the
big oak doors framed by carriage lamps, the leaded-glass windows, the gabled
roofline—pleased Paul and gave him the warm feeling that this was where he
belonged. The automatic garage door rolled up, and he pulled the Pontiac
inside, next to Carol’s red Volkswagen Rabbit.
In the house, they maintained their silence.
Paul’s hair was wet, and the legs of his
trousers clung damply to him, and the back of his shirt was still soaked. He
figured he was going to come down with a nasty cold if he didn’t get into some
dry clothes right away. Apparently, Carol had the same thought, and they went
straight upstairs to the master bedroom.
She opened the closet doors, and he switched
on a bedside lamp. Shivering, they stripped out of their wet clothes.
When they were nearly undressed, they glanced
at each other. Their eyes locked.
Still, they didn’t speak. They didn’t need
to.
He took her in his arms, and they kissed
lightly at first, tenderly. Her mouth was warm and soft and vaguely flavored
with whiskey.
She clutched him, pulled him closer, her
fingertips digging into the muscles of his back. She pushed her mouth hard
against his, scraped his lip with her teeth, thrust her tongue deep, and
abruptly their kisses grew hot, demanding.
Something seemed to snap in him, and in her,
too, for their desire was suddenly marked by animal urgency. They responded to
each other in a hungry, almost frenzied fashion, hastily casting off the last
of their clothes, pawing at each other, squeezing, stroking. She nipped his
shoulder with her teeth. He gripped her buttocks and kneaded them with
uncharacteristic crudity, but she didn’t wince or try to pull away; indeed, she
pressed even more insistently against him, rubbing her breasts over his chest
and grinding her hips against his. The soft whimpers that escaped from her were
not sounds of pain; they clearly expressed her eagerness and need. In bed, his
energy was manic, and his staying power amazed him. He was insatiable, and so
was she. They thrust and thrashed and flexed and tensed in perfect harmony, as
if they were not only joined but fused, as if they were a single
organism, shaken by only one set of stimuli instead of two. Every vestige of
civilization slipped from them, and for a long while the only noises they made
were animal sounds: panting; groaning; throaty grunts of pleasure; short, sharp
cries of excitement. At last Carol uttered the first word to pass between them
since they had left O’Brian’s office:
“Yes.” And again, arching her slender,
graceful body, tossing her head from side to side on the pillow: “Yes, yes!” It
was not merely an orgasm to which she was saying yes, for she’d already had a
couple of those and had announced them with only ragged breathing and soft
mewling. She was saying yes to life, yes to the fact that she still existed and
was not just a charred and oozing lump of unanimated flesh, yes to the
miraculous fact that they had both survived the lightning and the deadly,
splintered branches of the toppling maple tree. Their unrestrained, fiercely
passionate coupling was a slap in Death’s face, a not wholly rational but
nevertheless satisfying denial of the grim specter’s very existence. Paul
repeated the word as if chanting an incantation—”Yes, yes, yes!”—as he emptied
himself into her a second time, and it seemed as though his fear of death
spurted out of him along with his seed.
Spent, they stretched out on their backs,
side by side on the disheveled bed. For a long time they listened to the rain
on the roof and to the persistent thunder, which was no longer loud enough to
rattle the windows.
Carol lay with her eyes closed, her face
completely relaxed. Paul studied her, and, as he had done on countless other
occasions during the past four years, he wondered why she had ever consented to
marry him. She was beautiful. He was not. Anyone putting together a dictionary
could do worse than to use a picture of his face as the sole definition of the
word plain. He had once jokingly expressed a similar opinion of his
physical appearance, and Carol had been angry with him for talking about
himself that way.
But it was true, and it didn’t really matter
to him that he was not Burt Reynolds, just so long as Carol didn’t notice the
difference. It was not only his plainness of which she seemed unaware; she
could not comprehend her own beauty, and she insisted she was actually
rather plain, or at least no more than “a little bit pretty, no, not even
pretty, just sort of cute, but kind of funny-looking cute.” Her dark hair—even
now, when it was matted and curled by rain and sweat—was thick, glossy, lovely.
Her skin was flawless, and her cheekbones were so well sculpted that it was
difficult to believe the clumsy hand of nature could have done the job. Carol
was the kind of woman you saw on the arm of a tall, bronzed Adonis, not with
the likes of Paul Tracy. Yet here she was, and he was grateful to have her
beside him. He never ceased to be surprised that they were compatible in every
respect—mentally, emotionally, physically.
Now, as rain began to beat on the roof and
windows with renewed force, Carol sensed that he was staring at her, and she
opened her eyes. They were so brown that, from a distance of more than a few
inches, they looked black. She smiled. “I love you.”
“I love you,” he said.
“I thought you were dead.”
“Wasn’t.”
“After the lightning stopped, I called you,
but you didn’t answer for the longest time.”
“I was busy with a call to Chicago,” he said,
grinning.
“Seriously.”
“Okay. It was San Francisco."
“I was scared.”
“I couldn’t answer you right away,” he
said soothingly. “In case you’ve forgotten, O’Brian fell on top of me, Knocked
the wind right out. He doesn’t look so big, but he’s as solid as a rock. I
guess he builds a lot of muscles by picking lint off his suits and shining his
shoes nine hours a day.”
“That was a pretty brave thing you did.”
“Making love m you? Think nothing of it.”
Playfully, she slapped his face. “You know
what I mean. You save O’Brian’s life.”
“Nope.”
“Yes, you did. He thought so, too.”
“For God’s sake, I didn’t step in front of
him and shield him from the tree with mine own precious bod! I just pulled him
out of the way. Anyone would have done the same.”
She shook her head. “Wrong. Not everyone
thinks as fast as you do.”
“A fast thinker, huh? Yeah. That’s something
I’ll admit to being. I’m a fast thinker, but I’m sure no hero. I won’t let you
pin that label on me because then you’ll expect me to live up to it. Can
you just imagine what a hell on earth Superman’s life would be if he ever
married Lois Lane? Her expectations would be so high!”
“Anyway,” Carol said, “even if you won’t
admit it, O’Brian knows you saved his life, and that’s the important thing.”
“It is?”
“Well, I was pretty sure the adoption agency
would approve us. But now there’s not the slightest doubt about it.”
“There’s always a slim chance—”
“No,” she said, interrupting him. “O’Brian’s
not going to fail you after you saved his life. Not a chance.
He’s going to wrap the recommendations
committee around his finger.”
Paul blinked, then slowly broke into a smile.
“I’ll
be damned. I didn’t think of that.”
“So you’re a hero, Papa.”
“Well.. . maybe I am, Mama.”
“I think I prefer ‘Mom.”
“And I prefer ‘Dad.”
“What about ‘Pop’?”
“Pop isn’t a name. It’s a sound a champagne
cork makes.”
“Are you suggesting a celebration?” she
asked.
“I thought we’d put on our robes, mosey down
to the kitchen, and whip up an early dinner. If you’re hungry, that is.”
“Famished.”
“You can make a mushroom salad,” he said.
“I’ll whip up my famous fettuccine Alfredo. We’ve got a bottle or two of Mumm’s
Extra Dry we’ve been saving for a special occasion. We’ll open that, pile our
plates high with fettuccine Alfredo and mushrooms, come back up here, and have
dinner in bed.”
“And watch the TV news while we eat.”
“Then pass the evening reading thrillers and
sipping champagne until we can’t keep our eyes open.”
“Sounds wonderfully, sinfully lazy,” she
said.
More evenings than not, he spent two hours
proofreading and polishing his novel. And it was an unusual night when Carol
didn’t have some paperwork to catch up on.
As they dressed in robes and bedroom
slippers,
Paul said, “We’ve got to learn to take most
evenings off. We’ll have to spend plenty of time with the kid. We’ll owe it
to him.”
“Or her.”
“Or them,” he said.
Her eyes shone. “You think they’ll let us
adopt more than one?”
“Of course they will—once we’ve proven we can
handle the first. After all,” he said self-mockingly, “am I not the hero who
saved good old Al O’Brian’s life?”
On their way to the kitchen, halfway down the
stairs, she stopped and turned and hugged him. ‘We’re really going to have a
family.”
“So it seems.”
“Oh, Paul, I don’t remember when I’ve ever
been so happy. Tell me this feeling’s going to last forever.”
He held her, and it was very fine to have her
in his arms. When you got right down to it, affection was even better than sex;
being needed and loved was better than making love.
“Tell me nothing can go wrong,” she said.
“Nothing can go wrong, and that feeling you
have will last forever, and I’m glad you’re so happy. There.
How’s that?”
She kissed his chin and the corners of his
mouth, and he kissed her nose.
“Now,” he said, “can we please get some
fettuccine before I start chewing my tongue?”
“Such a romantic.”
“Even romantics get hungry.”
As they reached the bottom of the steps, they
were startled by a sudden, loud hammering sound. It was
steady but arrhythmic: Thwsk, thunk,
thunk-thunkthunk, thunk-thunk...
Carol said, “What the devil’s that?”
“It’s coming from outside.. . and above us.”
They stood on the last step, looking up and
back toward the second floor.
Thunk, thunk-thunk, thunk, thunk...
“Damn,” Paul said. “I’ll bet one of the
shutters came loose in the wind.” They listened for a moment, and then he
sighed. “I’ll have to go out and fix it,”
“Now? In the rain?”
“If I don’t do anything, the wind might tear
it clean off the house. Worse yet, it might just hang there and clatter all
night. We won’t get any sleep, and neither will half the neighborhood.”
She frowned. “But the lightning. . .Paul,
after everything that’s happened, I don’t think you should risk climbing around
on a ladder in the middle of a storm.”
He didn’t like the idea, either. The thought
of being high on a ladder in the middle of a thunderstorm made his scalp
prickle.
She said, “I don’t want you to go out there
if—”
The hammering stopped.
They waited.
Wind. The patter of rain. The branches of a
tree scraping lightly against an outside wall.
At last, Paul said, “Too late. If it was a
shutter, it’s been torn off.”
“I didn’t hear it fall.”
“It wouldn’t make much noise if it dropped in
the grass or the shrubbery.”
“So you don’t have to go out in the rain,”
she said, crossing the foyer toward the short hall that led to the kitchen.
He followed her. “Yeah, but now it’s a bigger
repair job.
As they entered the kitchen, their footsteps
echoing hollowly off the quarry-tile floor, she said, “You don’t have to worry
about it until tomorrow or the day after. Right now, all you’ve got to worry
about is the sauce for the fettuccine. Don’t let it curdle.”
Taking a copper saucepan from a rack of
gleaming utensils that hung over the center utility island, he pretended to be
insulted by her remark. “Have I ever curdled the sauce for the
fettuccine?”
“Seems to me the last time you made it, the
stuff
was—”
“Never!”
“Yes,” she said teasingly. “Yes, it
definitely wasn’t up to par the last time.” She took a plastic bag of mushrooms
from the big, stainless-steel refrigerator. “Although it breaks my heart to
tell you this, the last time you made fettuccine Alfredo, the sauce was as
lumpy as the mattress in a ten-dollar-a-night motel.”
“What a vile accusation! Besides, what makes
you such an expert on ten-dollar-a-night motels? Are you leading a secret life
I ought to know about?”
Together, they prepared dinner, chatting
about this and that, bantering a lot, flying to amuse each other and to elicit
a laugh now and then. For Paul, the world dwindled until they were the only two
people in it. The universe was no larger than the warm, familiar kitchen.
Then lightning flickered, and the cozy mood
was broken. It was soft lightning, nothing as dazzling and destructive as the
bolts that had struck outside of
O’Brian’s office a few hours ago.
Nevertheless, Paul stopped talking in midsentence, his attention captured by
the flash, his eyes drawn to the long, many-paned window behind the sink. On
the rear lawn, the trees appeared to writhe and shimmer and ripple in the
fluttering storm light, so that it seemed he was looking not at the trees
themselves but at their reflections in the surface of a lake.
Suddenly, another movement caught his eye,
though he wasn’t sure what he was seeing. The afternoon, which had been gray
and dark to begin with, was now gradually giving away to an early night, and
thin fog was drifting in. Shadows lay everywhere.
The meager daylight was deceptive, muddy; it
distorted rather than illuminated those things it touched. In that penumbral
landscape, something abruptly darted out from behind the thick trunk of an oak
tree, crossed a stretch of open grass, and quickly disappeared behind a lilac
bush.
Carol said, “Paul? What’s wrong?”
“Someone’s out on the lawn.”
“In this rain? Who?”
“I don’t know.”
She joined him by the window. “I don’t see
anybody.”
“Someone ran from the oak to the lilac bush.
He was hunched over and moving pretty fast.”
“What’s he look like?”
“I can’t say. I’m not even sure it was a man.
Might have been a woman.”
“Maybe it was just a dog.”
“Too big.”
“Could’ve been Jasper.”
Jasper was the Great Dane that belonged to
the
Hanrahan family, three doors down the street.
He was a large, piercing-eyed, friendly animal with an amazing tolerance for
small children and a liking for Oreo cookies.
“They wouldn’t let Jasper out in weather like
this,” Paul said. “They pamper that mutt.”
Lightning pulsed softly again, and a violent
gust of wind whipped the trees back and forth, and rain began to fall harder
than before—and in the middle of that maelstrom, something rushed out from the
lilac bush.
“There!” Paul said.
The intruder crouched low, obscured by the
rain and the mist, a shadow among shadows. It was illuminated so briefly and
strangely by the lightning that its true appearance remained tantalizingly at
the edge of perception. It loped toward the brick wall that marked the
perimeter of the property, vanished for a moment in an especially dense patch
of fog, reappeared as an amorphous black shape, then changed direction,
paralleling the wall now, heading toward the gate at the northwest corner of
the rear lawn. As the darkening sky throbbed with lightning once more, the
intruder fled through electric-blue flashes, through the open gate, into the
street, and away.
“Just the dog,” Carol said.
Paul frowned. “I thought I saw... .
“What?’
“A face. A woman looking back. . . just for a
second, just as she went through the gate.”
“No,” Carol said. “It was Jasper.”
“You saw him?”
“Clearly?”
“Well, no, not clearly. But I could see
enough to tell that it was a dog the size of a small pony, and Jasper’s the
only pooch around who fits that description.”
“I guess Jasper’s a lot smarter than he used
to be.”
Carol blinked. “What do you mean?”
“Well, he had to unlatch the gate to get into
the yard. He never used to be able to do that trick.”
“Oh, of course he didn’t. We must have left
the gate open.”
Paul shook his head. “I’m sure it was closed
when we drove up a while ago.”
“Closed, maybe—but not latched. The wind
pushed it open, and Jasper wandered in.”
Paul stared out at the rain-slashed fog,
which glowed dully with the last somber rays of the fading twilight. “I guess
you’re right,” he said, though he was not entirely convinced. “I better go
latch the gate.”
“No, no,” Carol said quickly. “Not while the storm’s
on.”
“Now look here, sugarface, I’m not going to
jump into bed and pull the blankets over my head every time there’s a little
thunder—just because of what happened this afternoon.”
“I don’t expect you to,” she said. “But
before you start dancing in the rain like Gene Kelly, you’ve got to let me get
over what happened today. It’s still too fresh in my mind for me to stand here
watching you while you cavort across the lawn in the lightning.”
“it’ll only take a moment and—”
“Say, are you trying to get out of making
that fettuccine?” she asked, cocking her head and looking at him suspiciously.
"Certainly not. I’ll finish making it as
soon as I’ve gone and closed the gate.”
“I know what you’re up to, mister,” she said
smugly. “You’re hoping you will be struck by lightning because
you know your sauce is going to turn out lumpy, and you simply can’t
take the humiliation.”
“That’s a base canard,” he said, falling
easily into their game again. “I make the silkiest fettuccine Alfredo this side
of Rome. Silkier than Sophia Loren’s thighs.”
“All I know is, the last time you made it,
the stuff was as lumpy as a bowl of oatmeal.”
“I thought you said it was as lumpy as a
mattress in a ten-dollar-a-night motel.”
She lifted her head proudly. “I’m not just a
one-simile woman, you know.”
“How well I know.”
“So are you going to make fettuccine—or will
you take the coward’s way out and get killed by lightning?”
“I’ll make you eat your words,” he said.
Grinning, she said, “That’s easier than
eating your lumpy fettuccine.”
He laughed. “All right, all right. You win. I
can latch the gate in the morning.”
He returned to the stove, and she went back
to the cutting board where she was mincing parsley and scallions for the salad
dressing.
He knew she was probably right about the intruder.
Most likely, it had been Jasper, chasing a cat or looking for an Oreo handout.
The thing he’d thought he had seen—the slightly twisted, moon-white face of a
woman, lightning reflected in her eyes, her mouth curled into a snarl of hatred
or rage—had surely been a trick of light and shadow. Still, the incident left
him uneasy. He could not entirely regain the warm, cozy feeling he’d had just
before he’d looked out the window.
Grace Mitowski filled the yellow plastic bowl
with Meow Mix and put it in the corner by the kitchen door.
“Kitty-kitty-kitty.”
Aristophanes didn’t respond.
The kitchen wasn’t Ari’s favorite place in
the house, for it was the only room in which he was not permitted to climb
wherever he wished. He wasn’t actually much of a climber anyway. He lacked the
spirit of adventure that many cats had, and he usually stayed on the floor.
However, even though he had no burning desire to scamper up on the kitchen
counters, he didn’t want anyone telling him he couldn’t do it.
Like most cats, he resisted discipline and
despised all rules. Nevertheless, as little as he liked the kitchen, he never
failed to put in an appearance at mealtime. In fact, he was often waiting
impatiently by his bowl when Grace came to fill it.
She raised her voice. “Kitty-kitty-kitty.”
There was no answering meow. Aristophanes did
not, as expected, come running, his tail curled up slightly, eager for his
dinner.
“Ari-Ari-Ari! Soup’s on, you silly cat.”
She put away the box of cat food and washed
her hands at the sink.
Thunk, thunk-thunk!
The hammering sound—one hard blow followed by
two equally hard blows struck close together—was
so sudden and loud that Grace jerked in
surprise and almost dropped the small towel on which she was drying her hands.
The noise had come from the front of the house. She waited a moment, and there
was only the sound of the wind and falling rain, and then— Thunk! Thunk!
She hung the towel on the rack and stepped
into the downstairs hallway.
Thunk-thunk-thunk!
She walked hesitantly down the hail to the
front door and snapped on the porch light. The door had a peephole, and the
fish-eye lens provided a wide view. She couldn’t see anyone; the porch appeared
to be deserted.
THUNK!
That blow was delivered with such force that Grace
thought the door had been torn from its hinges. There was a splintering sound
as she jumped back, and she expected to see chunks of wood exploding into the
hall. But the door still hung firmly in place, though it vibrated noisily in
its frame; the deadbolt rattled against the lock plate.
THUNK! THUNK! THUNK!
“Stop that!” she shouted. “Who are you? Who’s
there?”
The pounding stopped, and she thought she
heard
adolescent laughter.
She had been on the verge of either calling
the police or going for the pistol she kept in her nightstand, but when she
heard the laughter, she changed her mind. She could certainly handle a few kids
without help. She wasn’t so old and weak and fragile that she needed to call
the cops to deal with a bunch of ornery little pranksters.
Cautiously, she drew aside the curtain on the
long, narrow window beside the door. Tense, ready to step away quickly if
someone made a threatening move toward the glass, she looked out. There was no
one on the porch.
She heard the laughter again. It was
high-pitched, musical, girlish.
Letting the curtain fall back into place, she
turned to the door, unlocked it, and stepped onto the threshold.
The night wind was raw and wet. Rain drizzled
off the scalloped eaves of the porch.
The immediate area in front of the house
offered at least a hundred hiding places for the hoaxers. Bristling shrubbery
rustled in the wind, just the other side of the railing, and the yellowish glow
from the insect-repelling bulb in the porch ceiling illuminated little more than
the center of the porch. The walkway that led from the bottom of the porch
steps to the street was flanked by hedges that looked blue black in the
darkness. Among the many shades of night, none of the pranksters were visible.
Grace waited, listened.
Thunder rumbled in the distance, but there
was no laughter, no giggling in the darkness.
—Maybe it wasn’t kids.
—Who else?
—You see them on TV news all the time. The
ironeyed ones who shoot and stab and strangle people for the fun of it. They
seem to be everywhere these days, the misfits, the psychopaths.
—That was not adult laughter. This is
kids’ work.
—Still, maybe! better get inside and lock
the door.
—Stop thinking like a frightened old lady,
dammit!
It was odd that any of the
neighborhood children would harass her, for she was on excellent terms with all
of them. Of course, maybe these weren’t kids from the immediate neighborhood.
Just a couple of streets away, everyone was a stranger to her.
She turned and examined the outer face of the
front door. She could find no indication that it had been struck repeatedly and
violently only moments ago. The wood was not chipped or cracked; it wasn’t even
slightly marred.
She was amazed because she was certain she
had heard the wood splintering. What would kids use that would make a lot of
noise while leaving absolutely no marks on the door? Bean bags or something of
that nature? No. A bean bag wouldn’t have made such a horrendous racket; the
impact of the bag against the door might have been loud, yes, very loud indeed,
if it had been swung with sufficient force, but the sound wouldn’t have been so
hard, so sharp.
Again, she slowly scanned the yard. Nothing
moved out there except the wind-stirred foliage.
For nearly a minute she watched and listened.
She would have waited longer, if only to prove to any mischievous young
observers that she was not a frightened old lady who could be easily
intimidated; but the air was damp and chilly, and she began to worry about
catching a cold.
She went inside and closed the door.
She waited with her hand on the knob,
expecting the kids to return shortly. The first time they hit the door, she
would jerk it open and catch them red-handed, before they could dart off the
porch and hide.
Two minutes passed. Three minutes. Five.
No one hammered on the door, which was
distinctly strange. To pranksters, the fun wasn’t in the first assault so much
as in the second and third and fourth; their intent was not to startle but to
torment.
Apparently, the defiant stance she had taken
in the doorway had discouraged them. Very likely, they were on their way to
another house, seeking a more excitable victim.
She snapped the lock into place.
What kind of parents would allow their
children to be out playing in an electrical storm like this?
Shaking her head in dismay at the
irresponsibility of some parents, Grace headed back the hail, and with each
step she half expected the hammering to start again. But it didn’t.
She had planned to have a light, nutritious
dinner of steamed vegetables covered with Cheddar cheese, accompanied by a
slice or two of home-baked cornbread, but she wasn’t hungry yet. She decided to
watch the ABC evening news before preparing dinner—although she knew that, with
the world in the state it was, the news might put her off her dinner
altogether.
In the study, before she had a chance to turn
on the television set and hear the latest atrocity stories, she found a mess on
the seat of her big armchair. For a moment she could do nothing but stare at
the ruin in disbelief: hundreds of feathers; shreds of cloth; colorful,
unraveled threads that had once constituted a needlework pattern, but which now
lay in a bright, meaningless tangle amidst drifts of goosedown. A couple of
years ago, Carol Tracy had given her a set of three small, exceedingly lovely,
handmade needlework throw pillows. It was one of those gifts that had been
clawed to pieces and left on the armchair.
Aristophanes.
Ari hadn’t ripped up anything important since
he was a kitten. An act as destructive as this was quite out of character for
him, but he was surely the culprit. There was not really another suspect to be
seriously considered.
“Ari! Where are you hiding, you sneaky
Siamese?”
She went to the kitchen.
Aristophanes was standing at the yellow bowl,
eating his Meow Mix. He glanced up as she entered the room.
“You fur-footed menace,” she said. “What in
the world has gotten into you today?”
Aristophanes blinked, sneezed, rubbed his
muzzle with one paw, and returned to his dinner with lofty, catlike
indifference to her exasperation and puzzlement.
Later that night, in her darkened bedroom,
Carol Tracy stared at the adumbral ceiling and listened to her husband’s soft,
steady breathing. He had been asleep for only a few minutes.
The night was quiet. The rain had stopped,
and the sky was no longer shaken by thunder. Occasionally, wind brushed across
the shingled roof and sighed wearily at the windows, but the fury had gone out
of it.
Carol teetered pleasantly on the edge of
sleep. She was a bit lightheaded from the champagne she had been slowly sipping
throughout the evening, and she felt as if she were floating in warm water,
with gentle waves lapping at her sides.
She thought dreamily about the child they
would adopt, tried to envision its appearance. A gallery of sweet young faces
filled her imagination. If it was an infant, rather than a three- or
four-year-old, they would name it themselves: Jason, if a boy; Julia, if a
girl. Carol rocked herself on the thin line between wakefulness and dreams by
rolling those two names back and forth in her mind: Jason, Julia, Jason,
Julia, Jason...
Falling off the edge, dropping into a well of
sleep, she had the ugly, unwelcome thought she had resisted so strenuously
earlier in the day: Something’s trying to stop us from adopting a baby.
Then she was in a strange place where there
was not much light, where something hissed and murmured sullenly just out of
sight, where the purple-amber shadows had substance and crowded close with
menacing intent. In that unknown place, the nightmare unrolled with the
frantic, nerve-jarring rhythm of player-piano music.
At first she was running in utter
lightlessness, and then she was suddenly running from one room to another in a
large house, weaving through a forest of furniture, knocking over a floor lamp,
banging one hip against the sharp corner of a credenza, stumbling and nearly
falling over the loose edge of an oriental carpet. She plunged through an
archway, into a long hall, and turned and looked back into the room from which
she had come, but the room wasn’t there any longer. The house existed only in
front of her; behind, there was perfect, featureless blackness.
Blackness. . . and then a glimmer of
something. A glint. A splinter of light. A silvery, moving object. The thing
swung from side to side, vanishing into darkness, reappearing with a gleam a
second later, vanishing again, back and forth, back and forth, rather like a
pendulum, never visible long enough to be identified. Although she couldn’t
quite see what the silvery thing was, she could tell that it was moving toward
her, and she knew she must get away from it or die. She ran along the hail to
the foot of the stairs, climbed quickly to the second floor. She glanced back
and down, but the stairs were not there any more. Just an inky pit. And then
the brief flash of something swinging back and forth in that pit. . . again. .
. again
like a ticking metronome. She rushed into the
bedroom, slammed the door, grabbed a chair with the intention of bracing it
under the knob—and discovered that, while her back was turned, the door had
disappeared, as had the wail in which it had been set.
Where the wall had been, there was
subterranean gloom. And a silvery flicker. Very close now. Closer still. She screamed
but made no sound, and the mysteriously gleaming object arced over her head
and— (Thunk!)
—This is more than just a dream, she thought
desperately. Much more than that. This is a memory, a
prophecy, a warning. This is a— (Thunk!)
—She was running in another house that was
altogether different from the first. This place was smaller, the furnishings
less grand. She did not know where she was, yet she knew she had been here
before. The house was familiar, just as the first place had been. She hurried through
a doorway, into a kitchen.
Two bloody, severed heads were on the kitchen
table. One of them was a man’s head, and the other was a woman’s. She
recognized them, felt that she knew them well, but was unable to think of their
names.
The four dead eyes were wide but sightless;
the two mouths gaped, the swollen tongues protruding over the purple lips. As
Carol stood transfixed by that grisly sight, the dead eyes rolled in their
sockets and focused on her. The cold lips twisted into icy smiles. Carol turned,
intending to flee, but there was only a void behind her and a glint of light
off the hard surface of something silvery and then— (Thunk!)
-She was running through a mountain meadow in
reddish, late-afternoon light. The grass was knee-high, and the trees loomed
ahead of her. When she looked over her shoulder, the meadow was no longer back
there. Only blackness, as before. And the rhythmically swinging, shimmering,
steadily approaching thing to which she was unable to fix a name.
Gasping, her heart racing, she ran faster, reached the trees, glanced back once
more, saw that she had not run nearly fast enough to escape, cried out and— (Thunk!)
For a long time the nightmare shifted from
one of
those three dreamscapes to the other—from the
first house to the meadow to the second house to the meadow to the first house
again—until at last she woke with an unvoiced scream caught in her throat.
She sat straight up, shuddering. She was cold
and yet slick with sweat; she slept in just a T-shirt and panties, and both garments
clung to her skin, unpleasantly sticky. The frightening sound from the
nightmare continued to echo in her mind—thunk, thunk, thunk
thunk, thunk—and she realized that her subconscious had borrowed. that
noise from reality, from the wind-loosened shutter that had startled her and
Paul earlier.
Gradually, the pounding noise faded and
blended with the thumping of her heart.
She drew back the covers and swung her bare
legs out of bed. She sat on the edge of the mattress, hugging herself.
Dawn had come. Gray light seeped in around
the drapes; it was too dim to reveal the details of the furniture, but it was
just bright enough to deepen the shadows and distort the shapes of everything,
so that the room seemed like an alien place.
The rain had stopped a couple of hours before
she’d gone to bed, but the storm had returned while she’d been sleeping. Rain
pattered on the roof and gurgled through the gutters and the downspouts. Low
thunder rumbled like a distant cannonade.
Paul was still asleep, snoring softly.
Carol knew she wouldn’t be able to get back
to sleep. Like it or not, rested or not, she was up for the day.
Without turning on a light, she went into the
master bathroom. In the weak glow of dawn, she stripped out of her damp T-shirt
and panties. While soaping herself in the shower, she thought about the
nightmare, which had been considerably more vivid than any dream she’d ever had
before.
That strange, jarring sound—thunk, :hunk—had
been the most frightening thing in the dream, and the memory of it still nagged
her. It wasn’t just an ordinary hammering noise; there was an odd echo to it, a
hardness and sharpness she couldn’t quite define. She decided it was not only
a case of her subconscious mind borrowing the noise the shutter had made
earlier. The terrifying sound in the dream was caused by something considerably
more disturbing than the mere banging of an unmoored shutter. Furthermore, she
was sure she had heard precisely that sound on another occasion, too.
Not in the nightmare. In real life. In another place. . . a long time ago...
As she let the hot water stream over her,
sluicing away the soap, she tried to recall where and when she had heard
exactly that same unsettling sound, for it suddenly seemed important for her to
identify it. Without understanding why, she felt vaguely threatened as long as
she could not recall the source of the sound. But remembrance hung
tantalizingly beyond the limits of her reach, like the title of a hauntingly
familiar but unnamable piece of music.
4
AT 8:45, after breakfast, Carol left
for work, and Paul went upstairs to the rear bedroom that he had converted into
an office. He had created a Spartan atmosphere in which to write without
distraction. The off-white walls were bare, unadorned by even a single
painting. The room contained only an inexpensive desk, a typist’s chair, an
electric typewriter, a jar bristling with pens and pencils, a deep letter tray
that now contained nearly two hundred manuscript pages of the novel he had
started at the beginning of his sabbatical, a telephone, a three-shelf bookcase
filled with reference works, a bottled-water dispenser in one corner, and a
small table upon which stood a Mr. Coffee machine.
This morning, as usual, he prepared a pot of
coffee first thing. Just as he pressed the switch labeled BREWER and poured
water into the top of the Mr.
Coffee, the telephone rang. He sat on the
edge of the desk, picked up the receiver. “Hello.”
“Paul? Grace Mitowski.”
“Good morning, love. How are you?”
“Well, these old bones don’t like rainy
weather, but otherwise I’m coping.”
Paul smiled. “Listen, I know you can still
run circles around me any time.”
“Nonsense. You’re a compulsive worker with a
guilt complex about leisure. Not even a nuclear reactor has your energy.”
He laughed. “Don’t psychoanalyze me, Grace. I
get enough of that from my wife.”
“Speaking of whom. .
“Sorry, but you just missed her. You ought to
be able to catch her at the office in half an hour.”
Grace hesitated.
Hot coffee began to drizzle into the Pyrex
pot, and the aroma of it swiftly filled the room.
Sensing tension in Grace’s hesitation, Paul
said, “What’s wrong?”
“Well. . .“ She cleared her throat nervously.
“Paul, how is she? She’s not ill or anything?”
“Carol? Oh, no. Of course not.”
“You’re sure? I mean, you know that girl’s
like a daughter to me. if anything was wrong, I’d want to know.”
“She’s fine. Really. In fact she had a
physical exam last week. The adoption agency required it. Both of us passed
with flying colors.”
Grace was silent again.
Frowning, Paul said, “Why are you worried all
of a sudden?”
“Well. . . you’ll think old Gracie is losing
her marbles, but I’ve had two disturbing dreams, one during a nap yesterday,
the other last night, and Carol was in both. I seldom dream, so when I have two
nightmares and wake up both times feeling I’ve got to warn Carol. .
“Warn her about what?”
“I don’t know. All I remember about the
dreams is that Carol was in them. I woke up thinking: it’s coming. I’ve got
to warn Carol that it’s coming. I know that sounds silly. And don’t ask me
what ‘it’ might be. I can’t remember. But I feel Carol’s in danger. Now Lord
knows, I don’t believe in dream prophecies and garbage like that. I think I
don’t believe in them—yet here I am calling you about this.”
The coffee was ready. Paul leaned over,
turned off the brewer. “The strange thing is—Carol and I were nearly hurt in a
freak accident yesterday.” He told her about the damage at O’Brian’s office.
“Good God,” she said, “I saw that lightning
when I woke up from my nap, but it never occurred to me that you and Carol.. .
that the lightning might be the very thing I was. . . the very thing my dream
oh, hell! I’m afraid to say it because I might sound like a superstitious
old fool, but here goes anyway:
Was there actually something prophetic about that dream? Did I foresee the
lightning strike a few minutes before it happened?”
“If nothing else,” Paul said uneasily, “it’s
at least a remarkable coincidence.”
They were silent for a moment, wondering, and
then she said, “Listen, Paul, I don’t recall that we’ve ever discussed this
subject much before, but tell me— do you believe in dream prophecies,
clairvoyance, things of that nature?”
“I don’t believe, and I don’t disbelieve.
I’ve never really made up my mind.”
“I’ve always been so smug about it. Always
considered it a pack of lies, delusions, or just plain nonsense. But after
this—”
“You’re reconsidering.”
“Let’s just say a tiny doubt has cropped up. And
now I’m more worried about Carol than I was when I called you.”
“Why? I told you she wasn’t even scratched.”
“She escaped once,” Grace said, “but I had two
dreams, and one of them came to me hours after the lightning. So maybe the
‘it’ is something else. I mean, if the first dream had some truth in it, then
maybe the second does, too. God, isn’t this crazy? If you start believing in
just a little bit of this nonsense, you get carried away with it real fast. But
I can’t help it. I’m still concerned about her.”
“Even if your first dream was prophetic,”
Paul said, “the second one was probably just a repeat of it, an echo, not a
whole new dream.”
“You think so?”
“Sure. This never happened to you before, so
why should it happen again? Most likely, it was just a freak thing.. . like the
lightning yesterday.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re probably right,” she
said, sounding somewhat relieved. “Maybe it could happen once. Maybe I can
accept that. But I’m not Edgar Cayce or Nostradamus. And I can guarantee you
I’m never going to be writing a weekly column of predictions for the National
Enquirer.”
Paul laughed.
“Still,” she said, “I wish I could remember
exactly what happened in both those nightmares.”
They talked a while longer, and when Paul
finally hung up, he stared at the receiver for a moment, frowning. Although he
was pretty much convinced that the timing of Grace’s dream had been merely a
strange coincidence, he was nonetheless affected by it, more profoundly
affected than seemed reasonable.
it’s coming.
The moment Grace had voiced those two words,
Paul had felt a gut-deep, bone-deep chill.
it’s coming.
Coincidence, he told himself. Sheer
coincidence and nonsense. Forget about it.
Gradually he became aware, once again, of the
rich aroma of hot coffee. He rose from the edge of the desk and filled a mug
with the steaming brew.
For a minute or two he stood at the window
behind the desk, sipping coffee, staring out at the dirty, scudding clouds and
at the incessant rain. Eventually he lowered his gaze and looked down into the
rear yard, instantly recalling the intruder he had seen last evening while he
and Carol had been making dinner:
that briefly glimpsed, pale, distorted,
lightning-illuminated face; a woman’s face; shining eyes; mouth twisted into a
snarl of rage or hatred. Or perhaps it had just been Jasper, the Great Dane,
and a trick of light.
THUNK!
The sound was so loud and unexpected that
Paul jumped in surprise. If his mug hadn’t been half empty, he would have
spilled coffee all over the carpet.
THUNK! THUNK!
It couldn’t be the same shutter they’d heard
last
evening, for it would have continued banging
all night. Which meant there were now two of them to repair.
Jeez, he thought, the old homestead is
falling down around my ears.
THUNK!
The source of the sound was nearby; in fact
it was so close that it seemed to originate within the room. Paul pressed his
forehead against the cool window glass, peered out to the left, then to the
right, trying to see if that pair of shutters was in place. As far as he could
see, they were both properly anchored. Thwzk, thunk-thunk, thunk, thunk...
The noise grew softer but settled into a
steady, arhythmical beat that was more irritating than the louder blows had
been. And now it seemed to be coming from another part of the house.
Although he didn’t want to get up on a ladder
and fix a shutter in the rain, that was exactly what had to be done, for he
couldn’t get any writing accomplished with that constant clattering to distract
him. At least there hadn’t been any lightning this morning.
He put his mug on the desk and started out of
the room. Before he reached the door, the telephone rang.
So it’s going to be one of those days,
he thought wearily.
Then he realized that the shutter had stopped
banging the moment the phone had rung. Maybe the wind had wrenched it loose of
the house, in which case repairs could wait until the weather improved.
He returned to his desk and answered the
telephone. It was Alfred O’Brian, from the adoption agency. Initially, the
conversation was awkward, and Paul was embarrassed by it. O’Brian insisted on
ex
pressing his gratitude: “You saved my life;
you really did!” He was equally insistent about repeatedly and quite
unnecessarily apologizing for his failure to express that gratitude yesterday,
immediately following the incident in his office: “But I was so shaken,
stunned, I just wasn’t thinking clearly enough to thank you, which was
unforgivable of me.” Each time Paul protested at the mention of words like
“heroic,” and “brave,” O’Brian became even more vociferous than before. At
last, Paul stifled his objections and allowed the man to get it out of his
system; O’Brian was determined to cleanse his conscience in much the same way
that he fussed with the minute specks of lint on his suit jacket. Finally,
however, he seemed to feel he had atoned for his (largely imaginary)
thoughtlessness, and Paul was relieved when the conversation changed
directions.
O’Brian had a second reason for calling, and
he got straight to it now, as if he, too, was suddenly embarrassed. He could
not (he explained with more apologies) locate the application form that the
Tracys had brought to his office the previous day. “Of course, when that tree
crashed through the window, it scattered a lot of papers all over the floor. A
terrible mess. Some of them were rumpled and dirty when we gathered them up,
and a great many of them were damp from the rain. In spite of that, Margie. my
secretary, was able to put them in order—except, of course, for your application.
We can’t find it anywhere. I suppose it might have blown out through one of the
broken windows. I don’t know why your papers should be the only ones we’ve
lost, and of course we must have a completed, signed application before we can
present your names to the recommendations committee. I’m extremely sorry about
this inconvenience, Mr. Tracy, I truly am.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” Paul said. “I’ll just
stop in
later today and pick up another form. Carol
and I can fill it out and sign it tonight.”
“Good,” O’Brian said. “I’m glad to hear that.
It has to be back in my hands early tomorrow morning if we’re going to make the
next meeting of the committee. Margie needs three full business days to run the
required verifications on the information in your application, and that’s just
about how much time we have before next Wednesday’s committee meeting.
If we miss that session, there’s not another
one for two weeks.”
“I’ll be in to pick up the form before noon,”
Paul assured him. “And I’ll have it back to you first thing Friday morning.”
They exchanged goodbyes, and Paul put down
the phone.
THUNK!
When he heard that sound, he sagged,
dispirited.
He was going to have to fix a shutter after
all. And then drive into the city to pick up the new application. And then
drive home. And by the time he did all of that, half the day would be shot, and
he wouldn’t have written a single word.
THUNK! TRUNK!
“Dammit,” he said.
Thunk, thunk-thunk, thunk-thunk...
It definitely was going to be one of those
days.
He went downstairs to the hail closet where
he kept his raincoat and galoshes.
***
The windshield wipers flogged back and forth,
back and forth, with a short, shrill squeak that made Carol grit her teeth. She
hunched forward a bit, over the steering wheel, squinting through the streaming
rain.
The streets glistened; the macadam was slick,
greasy looking. Dirty water raced along the gutters and formed filthy pools
around clogged drainage grids.
At ten minutes past nine, the morning rush
hour was just over. Although the streets were still moderately busy, traffic
was moving smoothly and swiftly. In fact everyone was driving too fast to suit
Carol, and she hung back a little, watchful and cautious.
Two blocks from her office, her caution
proved justified, but it still wasn’t enough to avert disaster altogether.
Without bothering to look for oncoming traffic, a young blond woman stepped out
from between two vans, directly into the path of the VW Rabbit.
“Christ!” Carol said, ramming her foot down
on the brake pedal so hard that she lifted herself up off the seat.
The blonde glanced up and froze, wide-eyed.
Although the VW was moving at only twenty
miles an hour, there was no hope of stopping it in time. The brakes shrieked.
The tires bit—but also skidded—on the wet pavement.
God, no! Carol thought with a sick, sinking feeling.
The car hit the blonde and lifted her off the
ground, tossed her backwards onto the hood, and then the rear end of the VW began
to slide around to the left, into the path of an oncoming Cadillac, and the
Caddy swerved, brakes squealing, and the other driver hit his horn as if he
thought a sufficient volume of sound
might magically push Carol safely out of his
way, and for an instant she was certain they would collide, but the Caddy slid
past without scraping, missing her by only an inch or two—all of this in two or
three or four seconds—and at the same time the blonde rolled off the hood,
toward the right side, the curb side, and the VW came to a full stop, sitting
aslant the street, rocking on its springs as if it were a child’s hobby horse.
***
None of the shutters was missing. Not one.
None of them was loose and flapping in the wind, as Paul had thought.
Wearing galoshes and a raincoat with a hood,
he walked all the way around the house, studying each set of shutters on the
first and second floors, but he couldn’t see anything amiss. The place showed
no sign of storm damage.
Perplexed, he circled the house again, each step
resulting in a squishing noise as the rain-saturated lawn gave like a sodden
sponge beneath him. This time around, he looked for broken tree limbs that
might be swinging against the walls when the wind gusted. The trees were all
intact.
Shivering in the unseasonably chilly autumn
air, he just stood on the lawn for a minute or two, cocking his head to the
right and then to the left, listening for the pounding that had filled the
house moments ago. He couldn’t hear it now. The only sounds were the soughing
wind, the rustling trees, and the rain driving into the grass with a soft,
steady hiss.
At last, his face numbed by the cold wind and
by
the heat-leaching rain, he decided to halt
his search until the pounding started again and gave him something to get a fix
on. Meanwhile, he could drive downtown and pick up the application form at the
adoption agency. He put one hand to his face, felt his beard stubble,
remembered Alfred O’Brian’s compulsive neatness, and figured he ought to shave
before he went.
He reentered the house by way of the
screened-in rear porch, leaving his dripping coat on a vinyl-upholstered glider
and shedding his galoshes before going into the kitchen. Inside, he closed the
door behind him and basked for a moment in the warm air.
THUNK! THUNK! THUNK!
The house shuddered as if it had received
three extremely hard, rapid blows from the enormous fist of a giant. Above the
kitchen’s central utility island, where a utensil rack was suspended from the
ceiling, copper pots and pans swung on their hooks and clattered against one
another.
THUNK!
The wall clock rattled on its hook; if it had
been any less firmly attached than it was, it would have flung itself off the
wall, onto the floor.
Paul moved toward the middle of the room,
trying to ascertain the direction from which the pounding was coming.
THUNK! THUNK!
The oven door fell open.
The two dozen small jars nestled in the spice
rack began to clink against one another.
What the hell is happening here? he wondered
uneasily.
THUNK!
He turned slowly, listening, seeking.
The pots and pans clattered again, and a
large ladle slipped from its hook and fell with a clang to the butcher-block
work surface that lay under it.
Paul looked up at the ceiling, tracking the
sound.
THUNK!
He expected to see the plaster crack, but it
didn’t.
Nevertheless, the source of the sound was
definitely overhead.
Thwzk, thunk-thunk, thunk...
The pounding suddenly grew quieter than it
had been, but it didn’t fade away altogether. At least the house stopped
quivering, and the cooking utensils stopped banging together.
Paul headed for the stairs, determined to
track down the cause of the disturbance.
The blonde was in the gutter, flat on her
back, one arm out at her side with the palm up and the hand slack, the other
arm draped across her belly. Her golden hair was muddy. A three-inch-deep
stream of water surged
around her, carrying leaves and grit and
scraps of paper litter toward the nearest storm drain, and her long hair fanned
out around her head and rippled silkily in those filthy currents.
Carol knelt beside the woman and was shocked
to
see that the victim wasn’t actually a woman
at all. She was a girl, no older than fourteen or fifteen. She was
exceptionally pretty, with delicate features, and at the moment she was
frighteningly pale.
She was also inadequately dressed for
inclement weather. She wore white tennis shoes, jeans, and a blue and white
checkered blouse. She had neither a raincoat nor an umbrella.
With trembling hands, Carol lifted the girl’s
right arm and felt the wrist for a pulse. She found the beat at once; it was
strong and steady.
“Thank God,” Carol said shakily. “Thank God,
thank God.”
She began to examine the girl for bleeding.
There did not seem to be any serious injuries, no major blood loss, just a few
shallow cuts and abrasions. Unless, of course, the bleeding was internal.
The driver of the Cadillac, a tall man with a
goatee, stepped around the end of the VW Rabbit and looked down at the injured
girl. “Is she dead?”
“No,” Carol said. She gently thumbed back one
of the girl’s eyelids, then the other. “Just unconscious.
Probably a mild concussion. Is anyone calling
an ambulance?”
“I don’t know,” he said.
“Then you call one. Quickly.”
He hurried away, splashing through a puddle
that was deeper than the tops of his shoes.
Carol pressed down on the girl’s chin; the
jaw was slack, and the mouth fell open easily. There was no visible
obstruction, no blood, nothing that might choke her, and her tongue was in a
safe position.
A gray-haired woman in a transparent plastic
raincoat, carrying a red and orange umbrella, ‘appeared out of the rain. “It
wasn’t your fault,” she told Carol.
“I saw it happen. I saw it all. The child
darted out in front of you without looking. There wasn’t a thing you could have
done to prevent it.”
“I saw it, too,” said a portly man who didn’t
quite fit under his black umbrella. “I saw the kid walking
down the street like she was in a trance or
something.
No coat, no umbrella. Eyes kind of blank. She
stepped off the curb, between those two vans, and just stood there for a few
seconds, like she was just waiting for someone to come along so she could step
out and get herself killed. And by God, that’s what happened.”
“She’s not dead,” Carol said, unable to keep
a tremor out of her voice. “There’s a first-aid kit on the back seat of my car.
Will one of you get it for me?”
“Sure,” the portly man said, turning toward
the vw.
The first-aid kit contained, among other things,
a packet of tongue depressors, and Carol wanted to have those handy. Although
the unconscious girl didn’t appear to be headed for imminent convulsions, Carol
intended to be prepared for the worst.
A crowd had begun to gather.
A siren sounded a couple of blocks away,
approaching fast. It was probably the police; the ambulance couldn’t have made
it so fast.
“Such a pretty child,” the gray-haired woman
said, staring down at the stricken girl.
Other onlookers murmured in agreement.
Carol stood up and stripped out of her
raincoat.
There was no point in covering the girl, for
she was already as wet as she could get. Instead, Carol folded the coat, knelt
down again, and carefully slipped the makeshift pillow under the victim,
elevating her head just a bit above the gushing water.
The girl didn’t open her eyes or stir in any
way whatsoever. A tangled strand of golden hair had fallen across her face, and
Carol carefully pushed it aside for her. The girl’s skin was hot to the touch,
fevered, in spite of the cold rain that bathed it.
Suddenly, while her fingers were still
touching the
girl’s cheek, Carol felt dizzy and was unable
to get her breath. For a moment she thought she was going to pass out and
collapse on top of the unconscious teenager. A black wave rose behind her eyes,
and then in that darkness there was a brief flash of silver, a glint of light
off a moving object, the mysterious thing from her nightmare.
She gritted her teeth, shook her head, and
refused to be swept away in that dark wave. She pulled her hand away from the
girl’s cheek, put it to her own face; the dizzy spell passed as abruptly as it
had come. Until the ambulance arrived, she was responsible for the injured
girl, and she was determined not to fail in that responsibility.
Huffing slightly, the portly man hurried back
with the first-aid kit. Carol took one of the tongue depressors out of its
crisp cellophane wrapper—just in case.
A police car rounded the corner and stopped
behind the Volkswagen. Its revolving emergency beacons splashed red light
across the wet pavement and appeared to transform the puddles of rainwater into
pools of blood.
As the squad car’s siren died with a growl,
another, more distant siren became audible. To Carol, that warbling,
high-pitched wail was the sweetest sound in the world.
The horror is almost over, she thought.
But then she looked at the girl’s chalk-white
face, and her relief was clouded with doubt. Perhaps the horror wasn’t over
after all; perhaps it had only just begun.
Upstairs, Paul walked slowly from room to
room, listening to the hammering sound.
Thunk. . . thunk...
The source was still overhead. In the attic.
Or on the roof.
The attic stairs were behind a paneled door
at the end of the second-floor hallway. They were narrow, unpainted, and they
creaked as Paul climbed them.
Although the attic had full flooring, it was
not otherwise a finished room. The construction of the walls was open for
inspection; the pink fiber glass insulation, which somewhat resembled
raw meat, and the regularly spaced supporting studs, like ribs of bone, were
visible. Two naked, hundred-watt bulbs furnished light, and shadows coiled
everywhere, especially toward the eaves. For all of its length and for half of
its width, the attic was high enough to allow Paul to walk through it without
stooping.
The patter of rain on the roof was more than
just a patter up here. It was a steady hissing, a soft, all-encompassing roar.
Nevertheless, the other sound was audible
above the drumming of the rain: Thunk.. . thunk-thunk...
Paul moved slowly past stacks of cardboard
cartons and other items that had been consigned to storage: a pair of large
touring trunks; an old six-pronged coat rack; a tarnished brass floor lamp; two
busted-out, cane-bottomed chairs that he intended to restore some day. A thin
film of whitish dust draped shroudlike over all the contents of the room.
Thunk. . . thunk...
He walked the length of the attic, then
slowly returned to the center of it and stopped. The source of the sound seemed
to be directly in front of his face, only inches away. But there was nothing
here that could possibly be the cause of the disturbance; nothing moved.
Thunk.. . thunk. . thunk. . . thunk...
Although the hammering was softer now than it
had been a few minutes ago, it was still solid and forceful; it reverberated
through the frame of the house. The pounding had acquired a monotonously simple
rhythm, too; each blow was separated from the ones before and after it by equal
measures of time, resulting in a pattern not unlike the beating of a heart.
Paul stood in the attic, in the dust,
smelling the musty odor common to all unused places, trying to get a fix on the
sound, trying to understand how it could be coming out of thin air, and
gradually his attitude toward the disturbance changed. He had been thinking of
it as nothing more than the audible evidence of storm damage to the house, as
nothing more than tedious and perhaps expensive repairs that might have to be
made, an interruption in his writing schedule, an inconvenience, nothing more.
But as he turned his head from side to side and squinted into every shadow, as
he listened to the relentless thudding, he suddenly perceived that there was
something ominous about the sound.
Thunk. . . thunk.. . thunk...
For reasons he could not define, the noise
now seemed threatening, malevolent.
He felt colder in this sheltered place than
he had felt outside in the wind and rain.
***
Carol wanted to ride to the hospital in the
ambulance with the injured girl, but she knew she would only be in the way.
Besides, the first police officer on the scene, a curly-headed young man named
Tom Weatherby, needed to get a statement from her.
They sat in the front seat of the patrol car,
which smelled like the peppermint lozenges on which Weatherby was sucking. The
windows were made opaque by shimmering streams of rain. The police radio
sputtered and crackled.
Weatherby frowned. “You’re soaked to the
skin. I’ve got a blanket in the trunk. I’ll get it for you.”
“No, no,” she said. “I’ll be fine.” Her green
knit suit had become saturated. Her rain-drenched hair was pasted to her head
and hung slackly to her shoulders.
At the moment, however, she didn’t care about
her appearance or about the goosebumps that prickled her skin. “Let’s just get
this over with.”
“Well. . . if you’re sure you’re okay.”
“I’m sure.”
As he turned up the thermostat on the car
heater, Weatherby said, “By any chance, do you know the kid who stepped in
front of your car?”
“Know her? No. Of course not.”
“She didn’t have any ID on her. Did you
notice if she was carrying a purse when she walked into the street?”
“I can’t say for sure.”
“Try to remember.”
“I don’t think she was.”
“Probably not,” he said. “After all, if she
goes walking in a storm like this without a raincoat or an umbrella, why would
she bother to take a purse? We’ll search the street anyway. Maybe she dropped
it somewhere.”
“What happens if you can’t find out who she
is?
How will you get in touch with her parents? I
mean, she shouldn’t be alone at a time like this.”
“No problem,” Weatherby said. “She’ll tell us
her name when she regains consciousness.’
“If she does.”
“Hey, she will. There’s no need to be
concerned about that. She didn’t seem seriously injured.”
Carol worried about it nonetheless.
For the next ten minutes, Weatherby asked
questions, and she answered them. When he finished filling out the accident
report, she quickly read over it, then signed at the bottom.
“You’re in the clear,” Weatherby said. “You
were driving under the speed limit, and three witnesses say the girl stepped
out of a blind spot right in front of you, without bothering to look for
traffic. It wasn’t your fault.”
“I should have been more careful.”
“I don’t see what else you could have done.”
“Something. Surely I could have done
something,”
she said miserably.
He shook his head. “No. Listen, Dr. Tracy,
I’ve seen this sort of thing happen before. There’s an accident, and somebody’s
hurt, and nobody’s really to blame—yet one of the people involved has a
misplaced sense of responsibility and insists on feeling guilty. And in this
case, if there is anybody to blame, it’s the kid herself, not you.
According to the witnesses, she was behaving strangely just before you turned
the corner, almost as if she intended to get herself run down.”
“But why would such a pretty girl want to
throw herself in front of a car?”
Weatherby shrugged. “You told me you were a
psychiatrist. You specialize in children and teenagers, right?”
“So you must know all the answers better than
I do. Why would she want to kill herself? Could be trouble at home—a father who
drinks too much and makes heavy passes at his own little girl, a mother who
doesn’t want to hear about it. Or maybe the kid was just jilted by her
boyfriend and thinks the world is coming to an end. Or just discovered she was
pregnant and decided she couldn’t face her folks with the news. There must be
hundreds of reasons, and I’m sure you’ve heard most of them in your line of
work.”
What he said was true, but it didn’t make
Carol feel better.
If only I’d been driving slower, she thought.
If only I’d been quicker to react, maybe that poor girl wouldn’t be in the
hospital now.
“She might have been on drugs, too,”
Weatherby said. “Too damned many kids fool around with dope these days. I
swear, some of they'll swallow any pill they’re given. If it isn’t something
that can be swallowed, they’ll sniff it or stick it in a vein. This kid you hit
might have been so high she didn’t even know where she was when she stepped in front
of your car.
Now, if that’s the case, are you going to
tell me it’s still somehow your fault?”
Carol leaned back in the seat, closed her
eyes, and let her breath out with a shudder. “God, I don’t know what to
tell you. All I know is. . .I feel wrung out.”
“That’s perfectly natural, after what you’ve
just been through. But it isn’t natural to feel guilty about this. It wasn’t
your fault, so don’t dwell on it. Put it behind you and get on with your life.”
She opened her eyes, looked at him, and
smiled. “You know, Officer Weatherby, I have a hunch you’d make a pretty good
psychotherapist.”
He grinned. “Or a terrific bartender.”
Carol laughed.
“Feeling better?” he asked.
“A little bit.”
“Promise me you won’t lose any sleep over
this.”
“I’ll try not to,” she said. “But I’m still
concerned about the girl. Do you know which hospital they’ve taken her to?”
“I can find out,” he said.
“Would you do that for me? I’d like to go
talk to the doctor who’s handling her case. If he tells me she’s going to be
all right, I’ll find it a whole lot easier to take your advice about getting on
with my life.”
Weatherby picked up the microphone and asked
the police dispatcher to find out where the injured girl had been taken.
The television antenna!
Standing in the attic, staring up at the roof
above his head, Paul laughed out loud when he realized what was causing the
pounding noise. The sound wasn’t coming out of the empty air in front of his
face, which was what he had thought for one unsettling moment. It was coming
from the roof, where the television antenna was anchored. They had subscribed
to cable TV a year ago, but they hadn’t removed the old antenna. It was a
large, directional, remote-control model affixed to a heavy brace-plate; the
plate was bolted through the shingles and attached directly to a roof beam.
Apparently, a nut or some other fastener
had loosened slightly, and the wind was
tugging at the antenna, rocking the brace-plate up and down on one of its
bolts, slamming it repeatedly against the roof. The solution to the big mystery
was amusingly mundane.
Or was it?
Thunk. . . thunk. . . thunk...
The sound was softer now than ever before,
barely
audible above the roar of the rain on the
roof, and it was easy to believe that the antenna could be the cause of it. Gradually,
however, as Paul considered this answer to the puzzle, he began to doubt if it
was the correct answer. He thought about how loud and violent the
pounding had been a few minutes ago when he had been in the kitchen: the entire
house quivering, the oven door falling open, bottles rattling in the spice
rack. Could a loose antenna really generate so much noise and vibration?
Thunk. . . thunk...
As he stared up at the ceiling, he tried to
make himself believe unequivocally in the antenna theory. If it was striking a
roof beam in precisely the right way, at a very special angle, so that the
impact was transmitted through the entire frame of the house, perhaps a loose
antenna could cause the pots and pans to clatter against one another in
the kitchen and could make it seem as if the ceilings were about to crack.
After all, if you set up exactly the right vibrations in a steel suspension
bridge, you could bring it to ruin in less than a minute, regardless of the
number of bolts and welds and cables holding it together. And although Paul
didn’t believe there was even a remote danger of a loose antenna causing that
kind of apocalyptic destruction to a wood-frame house, he knew
that moderate force, applied with calculation
and pinpoint accuracy, could have an effect quite out of proportion to the
amount of energy expended. Besides, the TV antenna had to be the root of
the disturbance, for it was the only explanation he had left.
The hammering noise became even softer and
then faded altogether. He waited for a minute or two, but the only sound was
the rain on the shingles overhead.
The wind must have changed direction. In time
it would change back again, and the antenna would begin to rock on its
brace-plate, and the pounding would start once more.
As soon as the storm was over, he would have
to get the extension ladder out of the garage, go up onto the roof, and
dismantle the antenna. He should have taken care of that chore shortly after
they had subscribed to the cable television service. Now, because he had delayed,
he was going to lose precious writing time—and at one of the most difficult and
crucial points in his manuscript. That prospect frustrated him and made him
nervous.
He decided to shave, drive downtown, and pick
up the new set of application papers at the adoption agency. The storm might
pass by the time he got home again. If it did, if he could be on the roof by
eleven-thirty, he ought to be able to tear down the antenna, then have a bite
of lunch, and work on his book all afternoon, barring further interruptions.
But he suspected there would be further interruptions. He had already resigned
himself to the fact that it was one of those days.
As he left the attic and turned out the
lights, the house quivered under another blow.
THUNK’
Just one this time.
Then all was quiet again.
***
The visitors’ lounge at the hospital looked
like an explosion in a clown’s wardrobe. The walls were canary yellow; the
chairs were bright red; the carpet was orange; the magazine racks and end
tables were made of heavy purple plastic; and the two large abstract paintings
were done primarily in shades of blue and green.
The lounge—obviously the work of a designer
who had read too much about the various psychological mood theories of
color—was supposed to be positive, life-affirming. It was supposed to lift the
spirits of visitors and take their minds off sick friends and dying relatives.
In Carol, however, the determinedly cheery decor elicited the opposite reaction
from that which the designer had intended, It was a frenetic room; it abraded
the nerves as effectively as coarse sandpaper would abrade a stick of butter.
She sat on one of the red chairs, waiting for
the doctor who had treated the injured girl. When he came, his stark white lab
coat contrasted so boldly with the flashy decor that he appeared to radiate a
saintlike aura.
Carol rose to meet him, and he asked if she
was Mrs. Tracy, and he said his name was Sam Hannaport. He was tall, very
husky, square-faced, florid, in his early fifties. He looked as if he would be
loud and gruff, perhaps even obnoxious, but in fact he was soft-spoken and
seemed genuinely concerned about how the accident had affected Carol both
physically and emotionally. It took her a couple of minutes to assure him that
she was all right on both counts, and then they sat down on facing red chairs.
Hannaport raised his bushy eyebrows and said,
“You look as if you could use a hot bath and
a big glassful of warm brandy.”
“I was soaked to the skin,” she said, “but
I’m pretty well dried out now. What about the girl?”
“Cuts, contusions, abrasions,” he said.
“Internal bleeding?”
“Nothing showed up on the tests.”
“Fractures?”
“Not a broken bone in her body. She came
through it amazingly well. You couldn’t have been driving very fast when you
hit her.”
“I wasn’t. But considering the way she
slipped up onto the hood and then rolled off into the gutter, I thought maybe.
. .“ Carol shuddered, unwilling to put words to what she had thought.
“Well, the kid’s in good condition now. She
regained consciousness in the ambulance, and she was alert by the time I saw
her.”
“Thank God.”
“There’s no indication that she’s even mildly
con-cussed. I don’t foresee any lasting effects.”
Relieved, Carol sagged back in the red chair.
“I’d like to see her, talk to her.”
“She’s resting now,” Dr. Hannaport said. “I
don’t want her disturbed at the moment. But if you’d like to come back this
evening, during visiting hours, she’ll be able to see you then.”
“I’ll do that. I’ll definitely do that.” She
blinked.
“Good heavens, I haven’t even asked you what
her name is.”
His bushy eyebrows rose again. “Well, we’ve
got a small problem about that.”
“Problem?” Carol tensed up again. “What do
you mean? Can’t she remember her name?”
“She hasn’t remembered it yet, but—”
“Oh, God.”
“—she will.”
“You said no concussion—”
“I swear to you, it isn’t serious,”
Hannaport said. He took her left hand in his big hard hands and held it as if
it might crack and crumble at any moment.
“Please don’t excite yourself about this. The
girl is going to be fine. Her inability to remember her name isn’t a symptom of
severe concussion or any serious brain injury; not in her case, anyway. She
isn’t confused or disoriented. Her field of vision is normal, and she has
excellent depth perception. We tested her thought processes with some math
problems—addition, subtraction, multiplication—and she got them all correct.
She can spell any word you throw at her; she’s a damn good speller, that one.
So she’s not severely concussed. She’s simply suffering from mild amnesia. It’s
selective amnesia, you understand, just a loss of personal memories, not a loss
of skills and education and whole blocks of social concepts. She hasn’t
forgotten how to read and write, thank God; she’s only forgotten who she is,
where she came from, and how she got to this place. Which sounds more serious
than it really is. Of course, she’s disconcerted and apprehensive. But
selective amnesia is the easiest kind to recover from.”
“I know,” Carol said. “But somehow that
doesn’t make me feel a whole hell of a lot better.”
Hannaport squeezed her hand firmly and
gently.
“This kind of amnesia is only very, very
rarely permanent or even long-lasting. She’ll most likely remember who she is
before dinnertime.”
“If she doesn’t?”
"Then the police will find out who she
is, and the minute she hears her name, the mists will clear.”
“She wasn’t carrying any ID.”
“I know,” he said. “I’ve talked to the
police.”
“So what happens if they can’t find out who
she is?”
“They will.” He patted her hand one last
time, then let go.
“I don’t see how you can be so sure.”
“Her parents will file a missing-persons
report. They’ll have a photograph of her. When the police see the photograph,
they’ll make a connection. It’ll be as simple as that.”
She frowned. “What if her parents don’t report
her missing?”
“Why wouldn’t they?”
“Well, what if she’s a runaway from out of
state? Even if her folks did file a missing-persons report back in her
hometown, the police here wouldn’t necessarily be aware of it.”
“The last time I looked, runaway kids favored
New York City, California, Florida—just about any place besides Harrisburg,
Pennsylvania.”
“There’s always an exception to any rule.”
Hannaport laughed softly and shook his head.
“If pessimism were a competitive sport, you’d win the world series.”
She blinked in surprise, then smiled. “I’m
sorry. I guess I am being excessively gloomy.”
Glancing at his watch, getting up from his
chair, he said, “Yes, I think you are. Especially considering how well the girl
came through it all. It could have been a lot worse.”
Carol got to her feet, too. In a rush, the
words falling over one another, she said, “I guess maybe the reason it bothers
me so much is because I deal with disturbed children every day, and it’s my job
to help them get well again, and that’s all I ever wanted to do since I was in
high school—work with sick kids, be a healer—but now I’m responsible for all
the pain this poor girl is going through.”
“You mustn’t feel that way. You didn’t intend
to harm her.”
Carol nodded. “I know I’m not being entirely
rational about the situation, but I can’t help feeling the way I feel.”
“I have some patients to see,” Hannaport
said, glancing at his watch again. “But let me leave you with one thought that
might help you handle this.”
“I’d like to hear it.”
“The girl suffered only minor physical
injuries. I won’t say they were negligible injuries, but they were damned close
to it. So you’ve got nothing to feel guilty about on that score. As for her
amnesia.. . well, maybe the accident had nothing to do with it.”
“Nothing to do with it? But I assumed that
when she hit her head on the car or on the pavement—”
“I’m sure you know a blow on the head isn’t
the only cause of amnesia,” Dr. Hannaport said. “It’s not even the most common
factor in such cases. Stress, emotional shock—they can result in loss of
memory. In fact we don’t yet understand the human mind well enough to say for
sure exactly what causes most cases of amnesia. As far as this girl is
concerned, everything points to the conclusion that she was in her current
state even before she stepped in front of your car.”
He emphasized each argument in favor of his
theory by raising fingers on his right hand. “One: She wasn’t carrying any ID,
Two: She was wandering around in the pouring rain without a coat or an umbrella,
as if she was in a daze. Three: From what I understand, the witnesses say she
was acting very strange before you ever came on the scene.” He waggled his
three raised fingers. "Three very good reasons why you shouldn’t be so
eager to blame yourself for the kid’s condition.”
“Maybe you’re right, but I still—”
“I am right,” he said. “There’s no
maybe about it. Give yourself a break, Dr. Tracy.”
A woman with a sharp, nasal voice paged Dr.
Hannaport on the hospital’s tinny public address system.
“Thank you for your time,” Carol said.
“You’ve been more than kind.”
“Come back this evening and talk to the girl
if you want. I’m sure you’ll find she doesn’t blame you one bit.”
He turned and hurried across the gaudy
lounge, in answer to the page’s call; the tails of his white lab coat fluttered
behind him.
Carol went to the pay phones and called her
office. She explained the situation to her secretary, Thelma, and arranged for
the rescheduling of the patients she had intended to see today. Then she dialed
home, and Paul answered on the third ring.
“You just caught me as I was going out the
door,” he said. “I’ve got to drive down to O’Brian’s office and pick up a new
set of application papers. Ours
were lost in the mess yesterday. So far, this
has been a day I should have slept through.”
“Ditto on this end,” she said.
“What’s wrong?”
She told him about the accident and briefly
summarized her conversation with Dr. Hannaport.
“It could have been worse,” Paul said. “At least
we can be thankful no one was killed or crippled.”
“That’s what everyone keeps telling me: ‘It
could have been worse, Carol.’ But it seems plenty bad enough to me.”
“Are you all right?”
“Yeah. I told you. I wasn’t even scratched.”
“I don’t mean physically. I mean, are you
together emotionally? You sound shaky.”
“I am. Just a little.”
“I’ll come to the hospital,” he said.
“No, no. That’s not necessary.”
“Are you sure you should drive?”
“I drove here after the accident without
trouble, and I’m feeling better now than I did then. I’ll be okay. What I’m
going to do is, I’m going over to Grace’s house. She’s only a mile from here;
it’s easier than going home. I have to sponge off my clothes, dry them out, and
press them. I need a shower, too. I’ll probably have an early dinner with
Grace, if that’s all right by her, and then I’ll come back here during visiting
hours this evening.”
“When will you be home?”
“Probably not until eight or eight-thirty.”
“I’ll miss you.”
“Miss you, too.”
“Give my best to Grace,” he said. “And tell
her I think she is the next Nostradamus.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Grace called a while ago. Said she had two
nightmares recently, and you figured in both. She was afraid something was
going to happen to you.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah. She was embarrassed about it. Afraid
I’d think she was getting senile or something.”
“You told her about the lightning yesterday?”
“Yeah. But she felt something else would
happen, something bad.”
“And it did.”
“Creepy, huh?”
“Decidedly,” Carol said. She remembered her
own nightmare: the black void; the flashing, silvery object drawing nearer,
nearer.
“I’m sure Grace’ll tell you all about it,”
Paul said. “And I’ll see you this evening.”
“I love you,” Carol said.
“Love you, too.”
She put down the phone and went outside to
the parking lot.
Gray-black thunderheads churned across the
sky, but only a thin rain was falling now. The wind was still cold and sharp;
it sang in the power lines overhead, sounding like a swarm of angry wasps.
***
The semiprivate room had two beds, but the
second one was not currently in use. At the moment, no nurse was present
either. The girl was alone.
She lay under a crisp white sheet and a
creamcolored blanket, staring at the acoustic-tile ceiling. She had a headache,
and she could feel each dully throbbing, burning cut and abrasion on her
battered body, but she knew she was not seriously hurt.
Fear, not pain, was her worst enemy. She was
frightened by her inability to remember who she was. On the other hand, she was
plagued by the inexplicable yet unshakable feeling that it would be foolish and
exceedingly dangerous to remember her past. Without knowing why, she suspected
that full remembrance would be the death of her—an odd notion that she found
more frightening than anything else.
She knew her amnesia wasn’t the result of the
accident. She had a misty recollection of walking along the street in the rain
a minute or two before she had blundered in front of the Volkswagen. Even then,
she had been disoriented, afraid, unable to remember her name, utterly
unfamiliar with the strange city in which she found herself and unable to
recall how she had gotten there. The thread of her memory definitely had begun
unraveling prior to the accident.
She wondered if it was possible that her
amnesia was like a shield, protecting her from something horrible in the past.
Did forgetfulness somehow equal safety?
Why? Safety from what?
What could- I be running from? she asked
herself.
She sensed that recovery of her identity was
possible. In fact her memories seemed almost within her grasp. She felt as
though the past lay at the bottom of a dark hole, close enough to touch; all
she had to do was summon sufficient strength and courage to poke her hand into
that lightless place and grope for the truth, without fear of what might bite
her.
However, when she tried hard to remember,
when she probed into that hole, her fear grew and grew until it was no longer
just ordinary fear; it became incapacitating terror. Her stomach knotted, and
her throat swelled tight, and she broke out in a greasy sweat, and she became
so dizzy that she nearly fainted.
On the edge of unconsciousness, she saw and
heard something disturbing, alarming—a fuzzy fragment of a dream, a
vision—which she couldn’t quite identify but which frightened her nonetheless.
The vision was composed of a single sound and a single, mysterious image. The
image was hypnotic but simple:
a quick flash of light, a silvery glimmer
from a not-quite-visible object that was swinging back and forth in deep
shadows; a gleaming pendulum, perhaps. The sound was hard-edged and threatening
but not identifiable, a loud hammering noise, yet more than that.
Thunk! Thunk! Thunk!
She jerked, quivered, as if something had
struck her.
Thunk!
She wanted to scream, couldn’t.
She realized that her hands were fisted and
that they were full of twisted, sweat-soaked sheets.
Thunk!
She stopped trying to remember who she was.
Maybe it’s better that I don’t know, she
thought.
Her heartbeat gradually slowed to normal, and
she was able to draw her breath without wheezing. Her stomach unknotted.
The hammering sound faded.
After a while she looked at the window. A
flock of large, black birds reeled across the turbulent sky.
What’s going to happen to me? she wondered.
Even when the nurse came in to see how she
was doing, and even when the doctor joined the nurse a moment later, the girl
felt utterly, dishearteningly alone.
5
GRACE’S kitchen smelled of coffee and warm spice
cake. Rain washed down the window, obscuring the view of the rose garden that
lay behind the house.
“I’ve never believed in clairvoyance or
premonitions.”
“Neither have I,” Grace said. “But now I
wonder. After all, I have two nightmares about you getting hurt, and the next
thing I hear is that you’ve had two close calls, just as if you were acting out
a script or something.”
They sat at the small table by the kitchen
window. Carol was wearing one of Grace’s robes and a pair of Grace’s slippers
while her own clothes finished drying out.
“Only one close call,” she told Grace.
“The lightning. That was a gut-wrencher, all right. But I wasn’t really in any
danger this morning. That poor girl was the one who nearly got killed.”
Grace shook her head. “No. It was a close
call for you, too. Didn’t you tell me you slid toward the oncoming traffic when
you braked to avoid the girl? And didn’t you say the Cadillac missed you by an
inch or less? Well, what if it hadn’t missed? If that Caddy had rammed
your little VW, you certainly wouldn’t have walked away without a scratch.”
Frowning, Carol said, “I hadn’t looked at it
that way.”
“You’ve been so busy worrying about the girl
that you haven’t had a chance to think about yourself.”
Carol ate a bite of spice cake and washed it
down with coffee. “You’re not the only one having nightmares.” She summarized
her own dream: the severed heads, the houses that dissolved behind her as she
passed through them, the flickering, silvery object.
Grace clasped her hands around her coffee cup
and hunched over the table. There was worry in her blue eyes. “That’s one nasty
dream. What do you make of it?”
“Oh, I don’t think it’s prophetic.”
“Why couldn’t it be? Mine appear to have
been.”
“Yes, but—it doesn’t follow that both of us
are turning into soothsayers. Besides, my dream didn’t make a whole lot of
sense. It was just too wild to be taken seriously. I mean, severed heads that
suddenly come to life—that sort of thing isn’t really going to happen.”
“It could be prophetic without being literally
prophetic. I mean, it might be a symbolic warning.”
“Of what?”
“I don’t see any easy interpretation of it.
But I
really think you ought to be extra careful
for a while. God, I know I’m starting to sound like a phony gypsy
fortune-teller, like Maria Ouspenskya in all those old monster movies from the
thirties, but I still don’t think you should dismiss it as just an ordinary
dream. Especially not after what’s already happened.”
***
Later, after lunch, as Grace squirted some
liquid soap into the sinkful of dirty dishes, she said, “How’s the situation
with the adoption agency? Does it look like they’ll give you and Paul a child
soon?”
Carol hesitated.
Grace glanced at her. “Something wrong?”
Taking the dish towel from the rack and
unfolding it, Carol said, “No. Not really. O’Brian says we’ll be approved. It’s
a sure thing, he says.”
“But you’re still worried about it.”
“A little,” Carol admitted.
“Why?”
“I’m not sure. It’s just that.. I’ve had this
feeling...”
“What feeling?”
“That it won’t work out.”
“Why shouldn’t it?”
“I can’t shake the idea that somebody’s
trying to stop us from adopting.”
“Who?”
Carol shrugged.
“O’Brian?” Grace asked.
“No, no. He’s on our side.”
“Someone on the recommendations committee?”
“I don’t know. I don’t actually have any
evidence of ill will toward Paul and me. I can’t point my finger at anyone.”
Grace washed some silverware, put it in the
drainage rack, and said, “You’ve wanted to adopt for so long that you can’t
believe it’s finally happening, so you’re looking for boogeymen where there
aren’t any.”
“Maybe.”
“You’re just spooked because of the lightning
yesterday and the accident this morning.”
“Maybe.”
“That’s understandable. It spooks me, too.
But the adoption will go through as smooth as can be.”
“I hope so,” Carol said. But she thought
about the lost set of application forms, and she wondered.
***
By the time Paul got back from the adoption
agency, the rain had stopped, though the wind was still cold and damp.
He got the ladder out of the garage and
climbed onto the least slanted portion of the many-angled roof. The wet
shingles squeaked under his feet as be moved cautiously across the slope toward
the television antenna, which was anchored near a brick chimney.
His legs were rubbery. He suffered from a
mild case of acrophobia, a fear that had never become incapacitating because he
occasionally forced himself to challenge and overcome it, as he was doing now.
When he reached the chimney, he put a hand
against it for support and looked out across the roofs of the neighboring
homes. The storm-dark September sky had settled lower, lower, until it appeared
to be
only six or eight feet above the tallest
houses. He felt as if he could raise his arm and rap his knuckles on the
bellies of the clouds, eliciting a hard, ironlike clank.
He crouched with his back to the chimney and
inspected the TV antenna. The brace-plate was held down by four bolts that went
through the shingles, either directly into a roof beam or into a stud linking
two beams. None of the bolts was missing. None of them was loose. The plate was
firmly attached to the house, and the antenna was anchored securely to the
plate. The antenna could not possibly have been responsible for the hammering
sound that had shaken the house.
***
After washing the dishes, Grace and Carol
went into the study. The room reeked of cat urine and feces. Aristophanes had
made his toilet on the seat of the big easy chair.
Stunned, Grace said, “I don’t believe it. Ari
always uses the litter box like he’s supposed to do. He’s never done
anything like this before.”
“He’s always been a fussy cat, hasn’t he?
Fastidious.”
“Exactly. But now look what he’s done. That
chair’ll have to be reupholstered. I guess I’d better find the silly beast, put
his nose to this mess, and give him a good scolding. I don’t want this to
become a habit, for God’s sake.”
They looked in every room, but they couldn’t
find Aristophanes. Apparently, he had slipped out of the house by way of the
pet door in the kitchen.
Returning to the study with Grace, Carol
said, “Earlier, you mentioned something about Ari tearing up a few things.”
Grace winced. “Yes. I didn’t want to have to
tell you—but he shredded two of those lovely little needlepoint pillows you
made for me. I was sick about it. After all the work you put into those, and
then he Just—,’
“Don’t worry about it,” Carol said. “I’ll
make you a couple of new pillows. I enjoy doing it. Needlepoint relaxes me. I
only asked because I thought maybe, if Ari’s been doing a lot of things that’re
out of character, it might be a sign that he isn’t well.”
Grace frowned. “He looks healthy. His
coat’s glossy, and he’s certainly as spry as ever.”
“Animals are like people in some ways. And
when a person suddenly starts behaving strangely, that can
be an indication of a physical malady,
anything from a brain tumor to an inbalanced diet.”
“I suppose I ought to take him to the vet.”
Carol said, “While there’s a break in the
rain, why don’t we go outside and see if we can find him?”
“Wasted effort. When a cat doesn’t want to be
found, it won’t be found. Besides, he’ll come back by dinnertime: I’ll
keep him in all night, and take him to the vet’s in the morning.” Grace looked
at the mess on the easy chair, grimaced, and shook her head. “This isn’t like
my Ari,” she said worriedly. “It’s just not like him at all.”
***
The number on the open door was 316.
Hesitantly, Carol stepped into the white and
blue hospital room and stopped just past the threshold. The place smelled
vaguely of Lysol.
The girl was sitting up in the bed nearest
the window, her face averted from the door, staring out at the
twilight-shrouded hospital grounds. She turned her head when she realized she
was no longer alone, and when she looked at Carol there was no recognition in
her blue-gray eyes.
“May I come in?” Carol asked.
“Sure.”
Carol went to the foot of the bed. “How are
you feeling?”
“Okay.”
“With all the scrapes and cuts and bruises,
it must be hard to get comfortable.”
“Gee, I’m not banged up all that bad. I’m
just a little sore. It’s nothing that’s going to kill me. Everyone's so nice;
you’re all making too much of a fuss about me.”
“How’s your head feel?”
“I had a headache when I first came to, but
it’s been gone for hours.”
“Double vision?”
“Nothing like that,” the girl said. A strand
of golden hair slipped from behind her ear and fell across her cheek; she
tucked it back in place. “Are you a doctor?”
“Yes,” Carol said. “My name’s Carol Tracy.”
“You can call me Jane. That’s the name on my
chart. Jane Doe. I guess it’s as good as any. It might even turn out to be a
lot nicer than my real name. Maybe I’m actually Zelda or Myrtle or something
like that.” She had a lovely smile. “You’re the umpteenth doctor who’s been in
to see me. How many do I have, anyway?”
“I’m not one of yours,” Carol said. “I’m here
because ... well. . . it was my car you stepped in front of.”
“Oh. Hey, gee, I’m awfully sorry. 1 hope
there wasn’t a lot of damage.”
Surprised by the girl’s statement and by the
genuine look of concern on her face, Carol laughed. “For heaven’s sake, honey,
don’t worry about my car. it’s your health that’s important, not the VW. And I’m
the one who should be apologizing. I feel terrible about this.”
“You shouldn’t,” the girl said. “I still have
all my teeth, and none of my bones are broken, and Dr. Hannaport says the boys
will still be interested in me.” She grinned self-consciously.
“He’s certainly right about the boys,” Carol
said.
“You’re a very pretty girl.”
The grin became a shy smile, and the girl
looked down at the covers on her lap, blushing.
Carol said, “I was hoping I’d find you here
with your folks.”
The girl tried to maintain a cheerful facade,
but when she looked up, fear and doubt showed through the mask. “I guess they
haven’t filed a missing-persons report yet. But it’s only a matter of time.”
“Have you remembered anything at all about
your past?”
“Not yet. But I will.” She straightened the
collar of her hospital gown and smoothed the covers over her lap as she talked.
“Dr. Hannaport says everything’ll probably come back to me if I just don’t push
too hard at remembering. He says I’m lucky I don’t have global amnesia. That’s
when you even forget how to read and write. I’m not that bad off! Heck,
no. Boy, wouldn’t that be something? What if I had to learn to read, write,
add, subtract, multiply, divide, and spell all over again? What a bore!” She
finished smoothing her covers and looked up again. “Anyway, I’ll most likely
have my memory back in a day or two.,,
“I’m sure you will,” Carol said, though she
wasn’t sure at all. “Is there anything you need?”
“No. They supply everything. Even tiny tubes
of toothpaste.”
“What about books, magazines?”
The girl sighed. “I was bored out of my skull
this afternoon. You think they might keep a pile of old magazines for the
patients?”
“Probably. What do you like to read?”
“Everything. I love to read; I
remember that much. But I can’t remember the titles of any books or magazines.
This amnesia sure is funny, isn’t it?”
“Hilarious,” Carol said. “Sit tight. I’ll be
right back.”
At the nurses’ station at the end of the
hail, she explained who she was and arranged to rent a small television set for
Jane Doe’s room. An orderly promised to hook it up right away.
The chief RN on duty—a stocky, gray-haired
woman who wore her glasses on a chain around her neck—said, “She’s such a sweet
girl. She’s charmed everyone. Hasn’t complained or uttered a cross word to a
soul. There aren’t many teenagers with her composure.”
Carol took the elevator down to the
ground-floor lobby and went to the newsstand. She bought a Hershey bar, an
Almond Joy, and six magazines that looked as if they would appeal to a young
girl. By the time she got back to room 316, the orderly had just finished
installing the TV.
“You shouldn’t have done all this,” the girl
said.
“When my parents show up, I’ll make sure they
pay you back.”
“I won’t accept a dime,” Carol said.
“But—”
“No buts.”
“I don’t need to be pampered. I’m fine.
Really. If you—”
“I’m not pampering you, honey. Just think of
the magazines and the television as forms of therapy. In fact, they might be
precisely the tools you need to break through this amnesia.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, if you watch enough television, you
might see a show you remember seeing before. That might spark a sort of chain
reaction of memories.”
“You think so?”
“It’s better than just sitting and staring at
the walls or out the window. Nothing in this place is going to spark a memory
because none of it is related to your past. But there’s a chance the TV will do
the trick.”
The girl picked up the remote-control device
that the orderly had given her, and she switched on the television set. A
popular situation comedy was on.
“Familiar?” Carol asked.
The girl shook her head: no. Tears glistened
in the corners of her eyes.
“Hey, don’t get upset,” Carol said. “It would
be amazing if you remembered the first thing you saw. It’s bound to take time.”
She nodded and bit her lip, trying not to
cry.
Carol moved close, took the girl’s hand; it
was cool.
“Will you come back tomorrow?” Jane asked
shakily.
“Of course I will.”
“I mean, if it’s not out of your way.”
“It’s no trouble at all.” “Sometimes.. .“
“What?”
The girl shuddered. “Sometimes I’m so
afraid.”
“Don’t be afraid, honey. Please don’t. It’ll
all work out. You’ll see. You’re going to be back on the track in no time,”
Carol said, wishing she could think of something more reassuring than those few
hollow platitudes. But she knew her inadequate response was occasioned by her
own nagging doubts.
The girl pulled a tissue out of the Kleenex
dispenser that was built into the side of the tall metal nightstand. She blew
her nose, used another tissue to daub at her eyes. She had slumped down in the
bed; now she sat up straight, lifted her chin, squared her slender shoulders, and
readjusted her covers. When she looked up at Carol, she was smiling again.
“Sorry,” she said. “I don’t know what got into me. Being a crybaby isn’t going
to solve anything. Anyway, you’re right. My folks will probably show up
tomorrow, and everything’ll work out for the best. Look, Dr. Tracy, if you come
to see me tomorrow—”
“I will .“
“If you do, promise not to bring me any more
candy or magazines or anything. Okay? There’s no reason for you to spend your
money like that. You’ve already done too much for me. Besides, the best thing
you could do is just come. I mean, it’s nice to know someone outside the
hospital cares about me. It’s nice to know I haven’t been lost or forgotten in
here. Oh, sure, the nurses and the doctors are swell. They really are, and I’m
grateful. They care about me, but it’s
sort of their job to care. You know? So
that’s not exactly the same thing, is it?” She laughed nervously. “Am I making
sense?”
“I know exactly what you’re feeling,” Carol
assured her. She was achingly aware of the girl’s profound loneliness, for she
had been lonely and frightened when she was the same age, before Grace Mitowski
had taken custody of her and had given her large measures of guidance and love.
She stayed with Jane until visiting hours
were over. Before she left, she planted a motherly kiss on the girl’s forehead,
and it seemed like a perfectly natural thing to do. A bond had formed between
them in a surprisingly short time.
Outside, in the hospital parking lot, the
sodium-vapor lights leached the true colors from the cars and made them all
look yellowish.
The night was chilly. No rain had fallen
during the afternoon or evening, but the air was heavy, damp. Thunder rumbled
in the distance, and a new storm appeared to be on the way.
She sat for a moment behind the wheel of the
VW, staring up at the third-floor window of the girl’s room.
‘What a terrific kid,” she said aloud.
She felt that someone quite special had come
unexpectedly into her life.
***
Near midnight, a river-cold wind came out of
the west and made the trees dance. The starless, moonless, utterly lightless
night pressed close around the house and seemed to Grace to be a living thing;
it snuffled at the doors and windows.
Rain began to fall.
She went to bed as the hail clock was
striking twelve, and twenty minutes later she began to drift over the edge of
sleep as if she were a leaf borne by cool currents toward a great waterfall. On
the brink, with only darkness churning under her, she heard movement in the
bedroom and instantly came awake again.
A series of stealthy sounds. A soft scrape. A
rattle that died even as it began. A silken rustle.
She sat up, heart quickening, and opened the
nightstand drawer. With one hand she felt blindly for the .22 pistol she kept
in the drawer, and with the other hand she groped silently for the lamp switch.
She touched the gun and lamp at the same moment.
With light, the source of the noise was
clearly visible. Ari was crouched atop the highboy, staring down at her, as if
he had been about to spring onto the bed.
“What are you doing in here? You know the
rules.”
He blinked but didn’t move. His muscles were
bunched and taut; his fur was standing up on the back of his neck.
For sanitary reasons, she would allow him to
climb neither onto the kitchen counters nor into her bed; generally, she kept
the master bedroom door firmly shut, day and night, rather than tempt him.
Already, housecleaning required extra hours each week because of him, for she
was determined that the air should not contain even the slightest trace of cat
odor; likewise, she was not about to subject her visitors to furniture covered
with loose animal hairs. She loved Ari, and she thought him fine company, and
for the most part she gave him the run of the house in spite of the extra work
he caused her. But she was not prepared to live with cat hairs in her food or
in her sheets.
She got out of bed, stepped into her
slippers.
Ari watched.
“Come down from there this instant,” Grace
said, looking up at him with her sternest expression.
His shining eyes were gas-flame blue.
Grace went to the bedroom door, opened it,
stepped out of the way, and said, “Shoo.”
The cat’s muscles relaxed. He slumped in a
furry puddle atop the highboy, as if his bones had melted. He yawned and began
to lick one of his black paws.
“Hey!” she said.
Aristophanes raised his head languidly,
peered down at her.
“Out,” she said gruffly. “Now.”
When he still didn’t move, she started toward
the highboy, and he was at last encouraged to obey. He jumped down and darted
past her so fast she didn’t have time to swat him. He went into the hall, and
she closed the door.
In bed again, with the lights out, she
remembered the way he had looked as he perched atop the highboy:
facing her, aimed at her, shoulders
drawn up, head held low, haunches tense, his fur electrified, his eyes bright
and slightly demented. He had intended to jump onto the bed and scare the
bejesus out of her; there was no doubt about that. But such schemes were a
kitten’s games; Ari had not been playful in that fashion for the past three or
four years, ever since he had
attained a rather indolent maturity. What on
earth had gotten into him?
That settles it, she told herself. We’ll pay
a visit to the veterinarian first thing in the morning. Good Lord, I might have
a schizophrenic cat on my hands!
Seeking rest, she let the night embrace her
again. She allowed herself to be carried along by the riverlike sound of the
soughing wind. Within a few minutes she was once more being borne toward the
waterfall of sleep. She trembled on the edge of it, and a quiver of uneasiness
passed through her, a chill that nearly broke the spell, but then she dropped
down into darkness.
She dreamed that she was trekking across a
vast underwater landscape of brilliantly colored coral and seaweed and strange,
undulating plants. A cat lurked among the plants, a big one, much bigger than a
tiger, but with the coloring of a Siamese. It was stalking her. She could see
its saucer eyes peering at her through the murky sea, from among wavering
stalks of marine vegetation. She could hear and feel its low purr transmitted
by the water. She paused repeatedly during her suboceanic trek so that she
could fill a series of yellow bowls with generous portions of Meow Mix in the
hope of pacifying the cat, but she knew in her heart that the beast would not
be content until it had sunk its claws into her. She moved steadily past towers
of coral, past grottoes, across wide aquatic plains of shifting sand, waiting
for the cat to snarl and lunge from concealment, waiting for it to rip open her
face and gouge out her eyes.
Once, she woke and thought she heard
Aristophanes scratching insistently on the other side of the
closed bedroom door. But she was groggy and
couldn’t trust her senses; she wasn’t able to wrench herself fully awake, and
in a few seconds she sank down into the dream once more.
At one o’clock in the morning, the third
floor of the hospital was so quiet that Harriet Gilbey. the head nurse on the
graveyard shift, felt as though she was deep underground, in some kind of
military complex, tucked into the stony roots of a mountain, far from the real
world and the background noises of real life. The only sounds were the whisper
of the heating system and the occasional squeak of the nurses’ rubber-soled
shoes on the highly polished tile floors.
Harriet—a small, pretty, neatly uniformed
black woman—was at the nurses’ station, around the corner from the bank of
elevators, entering data on patients’ charts, when the tranquility of the third
floor was abruptly shattered by a piercing scream. She moved out from behind
the reception desk and hurried along the hall, following the shrill cry. It
came from room 316. When Harriet pushed open the door, stepped into the room,
and snapped on the overhead lights, the screaming stopped as suddenly as it had
begun.
The girl they called Jane Doe was in bed,
flat on her back, one arm raised and angled across her face as if she were
warding off a blow, the other hand hooked on to one of the safety rails. She
had kicked the sheets and the blanket into a tangled wad at the foot of the
bed, and her hospital gown was nicked up over her hips. She tossed her head
violently from side to side, gasping, pleading with an imaginary assailant:
“No. . . no. . . no. Don’t! Please don’t kill
me! No!” With gentle hands, a gentle voice, and patient insistence,
Harriet tried to quiet the girl. At first Jane resisted all ministrations. She
had been given a sedative earlier. Now she was having trouble waking up.
Gradually, however, she shook off the nightmare and calmed down.
Another nurse, Kay Hamilton, appeared at
Harriet’s side. “What happened? Must’ve woke up half the floor.”
“Just a bad dream,” Harriet said.
Jane blinked sleepily at them. “She was
trying to kill me.”
“Hush now,” Harriet said. “It was only a
dream.
No one here will hurt you.”
“A dream?” Jane asked, her voice slurred.
“Oh. Yeah. Just a dream. Whew! What a dream.”
The girl’s thin white gown and the tangled
sheets were damp with perspiration. Harriet and Kay replaced them with fresh
linens.
As soon as the bed had been changed, Jane
succumbed to the lingering tug of the sedative. She turned onto her side and
murmured happily in her sleep; she even smiled.
“Looks like she switched to a better
channel,” Harriet said.
“Poor kid. After what she’s been through, the
least she deserves is a good night’s sleep.”
They watched her for a minute, then left the
room, turning off the lights and closing the door.
Alone, deep in sleep, transported into a
different dream from the one that had elicited her screams, Jane sighed,
smiled, giggled quietly.
“The ax,” she whispered in her sleep. “The
ax. Oh, the ax. Yes. Yes.”
Her hands curled slightly, as if she were
clutching a solid but invisible object.
“The ax,” she whispered, and the second of
those two words reverberated softly through the dark room.
Thunk!
Carol ran through the huge living room,
across the oriental carpet, banging her hip against the edge of the credenza.
Thank! Thunk!
She dashed through the archway, into a long hall,
headed toward the stairs that led to the second floor.
When she glanced behind her, she saw that the
house had vanished in her wake and had been replaced by a pitch-black void in
which something silvery flickered back and forth, back and forth.
Thunk!
Understanding came with a flash; she knew
what the glimmering object was. An ax. The blade of an ax. Glinting as it swung
from side to side.
Thunk. . . thunk-thunk...
Whimpering, she climbed the stairs toward the
second floor.
Thunk.. thank...
At times the blade seemed to be biting into
wood; the sound of it was dry, splintery. But at other times the sound had a
subtly different quality, as if the blade were slicing brutally into a
substance much softer than wood, into something wet and tender.
Into flesh?
Thank!
Carol groaned in her sleep, turned
restlessly, flinging off the sheets.
Then she was running across the high meadow.
The trees ahead. The void behind. And the ax.
The ax.
6
FRIDAY morning, there was another break in
the rain, but the day was dressed in fog. The light coming through the hospital
window was wintry, bleak.
Jane had only a hazy recollection of the
nurses changing her sheets and her sweat-soaked bed gown during the night. She
vaguely recalled having a frightening dream, too, but she couldn’t bring to
mind a single detail of it.
She was still unable to remember her name or
anything else about herself. She could cast her mind back as far as the
accident yesterday morning, perhaps even to a point a minute or so on the other
side of the accident, but beyond that there was only a blank wall where her
past should have been.
During breakfast, she read an article in one
of the magazines that Carol Tracy had bought for her. Although there were no
visiting hours until this afternoon, Jane was already looking forward to seeing
the woman again. Dr. Hannaport and the nurses were nice, every one of them, but
none of them affected her as positively as Carol Tracy did. For reasons she
could not understand, she felt more secure, more at ease, less frightened by
her amnesia when she was with Dr. Tracy than when she was with the others.
Maybe that was what people meant when they said a doctor had a good bedside
manner.
Shortly after nine o’clock, when Paul was on
the freeway, headed downtown to deliver the new set of application papers to
Alfred O’Brian’s office, the Pontiac's engine cut out. It didn’t sputter or
cough; the pistons simply stopped firing while the car was hurtling along at
nearly fifty miles an hour. As the Pontiac's speed plummeted, its power
steering began to freeze up. Traffic whizzed past on both sides at sixty and
sixty-five, faster than the speed limit, too fast for the misty weather. Paul
maneuvered the car across two lanes, toward the right-hand shoulder of the
road. Second by second, he expected to hear a short squeal of brakes and feel
the sickening impact of another car against his, but amazingly, he was able to
avoid a collision. Wrestling with the stiffening steering wheel, he brought the
Pontiac to a full stop on the berm.
He leaned back in his seat and closed his
eyes until he had regained his composure. When at last he leaned forward and
twisted the key in the ignition, the starter didn’t make the slightest
response; the battery had no juice to offer. He tried a few more times, then
gave up.
A freeway exit was just ahead, and there was
a service station less than a block from the off-ramp. Paul walked to it in ten
minutes.
The station was busy, and the owner couldn’t
spare his young assistant—a big, redheaded, open-faced kid named Corky—until
the stream of customers subsided to a trickle shortly before ten o’clock. Then
Paul and Corky rode back to the crippled Pontiac in a tow truck.
They tried jump-starting the car, but the
battery wouldn’t hold a charge. The Pontiac had to be towed back to the
station.
Corky intended to replace the battery and
have the car running in half an hour. But it wasn’t the battery after all, and
the estimated time for completion of the repairs was extended again and again.
Finally, Corky found a problem with the electrical system and fixed it.
Paul was stranded for three hours, always
sure he would be on his way in just another twenty or thirty minutes. But it
was one-thirty when he finally parked the revitalized Pontiac in front of the
adoption agency’s offices.
Alfred O’Brian came out to the reception
lounge to greet Paul. He was wearing a well-tailored brown suit, a neatly
pressed, cream-colored shirt, a neatly arranged, beige display handkerchief in
the breast pocket of his suit jacket, and a pair of neatly shined, brown
wing-tip shoes. He accepted the application, but he wasn’t optimistic about the
possibility of making all the required verifications prior to the
recommendations committee’s meeting next Wednesday morning.
“We’ll try to do a rush job on your papers,”
he told Paul. “I owe you that much at least! But in getting these
verifications, we have to deal with people outside this office, and some of
them won’t get back to us right away or won’t like being hurried. It always
takes a minimum of three full business days to run a complete verification,
sometimes four or five days, sometimes even longer, so I very much doubt that
we’ll be ready for this session of the recommendations committee, even though I
want to be. We’ll probably have to submit your application at the second
September meeting, at the end of the month. I feel terrible about that, Mr.
Tracy. I’m more sorry than I can say.
I truly am. If we hadn’t lost those papers in
the turmoil yesterday—”
“Don’t worry about it,” Paul said. “The
lightning wasn’t your doing, and neither was the problem with my car. Carol and
I have waited a long, long time to adopt a child. Another two weeks isn’t much
in the scheme of things.”
“When your papers are presented to the
committee, you’ll be approved quickly,” O’Brian said. “I’ve never been more
sure about a couple than I am about you. That’s what I’m going to tell them.”
“I appreciate that,” Paul said.
“If we can’t make Wednesday’s meeting—and I
assure you we’ll try our best—then it’s only a minor, temporary setback.
Nothing to be concerned about. Just a bit of bad luck.”
***
Dr. Brad Templeton was a fine veterinarian.
However, to Grace, he always looked out of place when he was ministering to a
cat or dog. He was a big man who would have looked more at home treating horses
and farm animals in a country practice, where his massive shoulders and
muscular arms would be of more use. He stood six-five, weighed about two
hundred and twenty pounds, and had a ruddy, rugged, but pleasing face. When be
plucked Aristophanes out of the padded travel basket, the cat looked like a toy
in his enormous hands.
“He looks fit,” Brad said, putting Ari
on the stainless-steel table that stood in the middle of the sparkling clean
surgery.
“He’s never been one to tear up the
furniture, not since he was just a kitten,” Grace said. “He’s never been a
climber, either. But now, every time I turn around, he’s perched on top of
something, peering down at me.”
Brad examined Ari, feeling for swollen glands
and enlarged joints. The cat cooperated docilely, even when Brad used a rectal
thermometer on him. "Temperature’s normal.”
“Something’s wrong,” Grace insisted.
Aristophanes purred, tolled onto his back,
asking for his belly to be rubbed.
Brad rubbed him and was rewarded with an even
louder purr. “Is he off his food?”
“No,” Grace said. “He stills eats well.”
“Vomiting?”
“No.”
“Diarrhea?”
“No. He hasn’t shown any symptoms like those.
It’s just that he’s.. . different. He’s not
at all like he was. Every symptom I can point to is a symptom of a personality
change, not an indication of physical deterioration. Like destroying the
pillows. Leaving the mess on the armchair. The sudden interest he’s taken in
climbing. And he’s gotten very sneaky lately, always creeping around, hiding
from me, watching me when be thinks I don’t see him.”
“All cats are a bit sneaky,” Brad said,
frowning. “That’s the nature of the beast.”
“Ari didn’t used to sneak,” Grace said. “Not
like he’s been doing the last couple of days. And he’s not as friendly as he
used to be. The last two days, he hasn’t wanted to be petted or cuddled.”
Still frowning, Brad lifted his gaze from the
cat and met Grace’s eyes. “But dear, look at him.”
Ari was still on his back, getting his belly
rubbed, and clearly relishing all the attention being directed at him. His tail
swished back and forth across the steel table. He raised one paw and batted
playfully at the doctor’s large, leathery hand.
Sighing, Grace said, “I know what you’re
thinking. I’m an old woman. Old women get funny ideas.”
“No, no, no. I wasn’t thinking any such
thing.”
“Old women become obsessively attached to
their pets because sometimes their pets are the only company they have, their
only real friends.”
“I am perfectly aware that doesn’t apply to
you, Grace. Not with all the friends you’ve got in this town. I merely—”
She smiled and patted his cheek. “Don’t
protest too strongly, Brad. I know what’s going through your mind. Some old women
are so afraid of losing their pets that they think they see signs of illness
where there are none. Your reaction is understandable. It doesn’t offend me. It
does frustrate me because I know something is wrong with Ari.”
Brad looked down at the cat again, continued
stroking its belly, and said, “Have you changed his diet in any way?”
“No. He gets the same brand of cat food, at
the same times of day, in the same quantities he’s always gotten it.”
“Has the company changed the product
recently?”
“How do you mean?”
“Well, does the package say ‘new, improved,’
or
‘richer flavor,’ or anything like that?”
She thought about it for a moment, then shook
her head. “I don't think so.”
“Sometimes, when they change a formula, they
add a new preservative or a new artificial flavoring or coloring agent, and
some pets have an allergic reaction to it.”
“But wouldn’t that be a physical reaction?
Like I said, this seems to be strictly a personality change.”
Brad nodded. “I’m sure you know food
additives can cause behavioral problems in some children. A lot of hyperactive
kids calm down when they’re put on a diet free of the major additives. Animals
can be affected by these things, too. From what you’ve told me, it sounds like
Aristophanes is intermittently hyperactive and may be responding to a subtle
change in the formulation of his cat food. Switch him to another brand, wait a
week for his system to purge itself of whatever additives have offended it, and
he’ll probably be the old Ari again.”
“If he isn’t?”
“Then bring him in, leave him with me for a
couple of days, and I’ll give him a really thorough going over. But I strongly
recommend that we try changing his diet first, before we go to all that trouble
and expense.”
You are humoring me, Grace thought.
Just coddling an old lady.
“Very well,” she said. “I’ll try changing his
food. But if he’s still not himself a week from now, I’ll want you to give him
a complete battery of tests.”
“Of course.”
“I’ll want an answer.”
On the stainless-steel table, Aristophanes
purred, happily twitched his long tail, and looked infuriatingly normal.
***
Later, at home, just inside the front door,
when Grace slipped the latch on the padded travel basket and opened the lid,
Aristophanes exploded out of confinement with a hiss and a snarl, his fun
bristling, his ears laid back against his head, eyes wild. He clawed her hand
and squealed as she thrust him away from her. He sprinted down the hall,
disappeared into the kitchen, where the pet door gave him access to the rear
yard.
Shocked, Grace stared at her hand. Ari’s
claws had made three short furrows in the meaty edge of her palm. Blood welled
up and began to trickle down her wrist.
Carol’s last appointment on Friday was at one
o’clock: a fifty-minute session with Kathy Lombino, a fifteen-year-old girl who
was gradually recovering from anorexia nervosa. Five months ago, when she had
first been brought to Carol, Kathy had weighed only seventy-five pounds, at
least thirty pounds below her ideal weight. She had been teetering on the edge
of starvation, repelled by the sight and even the thought of food, stubbornly
refusing to eat more than an occasional soda cracker or slice of bread, often
gagging on even those bland morsels. When she was put in front of a mirror and
forced to confront the pathetic sight of her emaciated body, she still berated
herself for being fat and could not be convinced that she was, in fact,
frighteningly thin. Her prospects for survival had seemed slight. Now she
weighed ninety pounds, up fifteen, still well below a healthy weight for a girl
of her height and bone structure, but at least she was no longer in danger of
dying. A loss of self-respect and self-confidence was nearly always the seed
from which anorexia nervosa grew, and Kathy was beginning to like herself
again, a sure sign that she was on her way back from the brink. She hadn’t yet
regained a normal appetite; she still experienced mild revulsion at the sight
and taste of food; but her attitude was far better than it had been, for now
she recognized the need for food, even though she didn’t have any desire
for it. The girl had a long way to go before she would be fully recovered, but
the worst was past for her; in time she would learn to enjoy food again, and
she would gain weight more rapidly than she had done thus far, stabilizing
around a hundred and five or a hundred and ten pounds. Kathy’s progress had
been immensely satisfying to Carol, and today’s session only added to that
satisfaction. As had become customary, she and the girl hugged each other at
the end of the session, and Kathy held on tighter and longer than usual. When
the girl left the office, she was smiling.
A few minutes later, at two o’clock, Carol
went to the hospital. In the gift shop off the lobby, she bought a deck of
playing cards and a miniature checkerboard with nickle-sized checkers that all
fit neatly into a vinyl carrying case.
Upstairs, in 316, the television was on, and
Jane was reading a magazine. She looked up when Carol entered, and she said,
“You really came.”
“Said I would, didn’t I?”
“What’ve you got?”
“Cards, checkers. I thought maybe they’d help
you pass the time.”
“You promised you wouldn’t buy me anything
else.”
“Hey, did I say I was giving these to
you? No way. You think I’m a soft touch or something? I’m lending them,
kid. I expect them back. And whenever you return them, they’d better be in as
good condition as they are now, or I’ll take you all the way to the Supreme
Court to get compensated for the damage.”
Jane grinned. “Boy, you’re tough.”
“I eat nails for breakfast.”
“Don’t they get stuck in your teeth?”
“I pluck ‘em out with pliers.”
“Ever eat barbed wire?”
“Never for breakfast. I have it for lunch now
and then.”
They both laughed, and Carol said, “So do you
play checkers?”
“I don’t know. I don’t remember.”
The girl shrugged.
“Nothing’s come back yet?” Carol asked.
“Not a thing.”
“Don’t worry. It will.”
“My folks haven’t shown up, either.”
“Well, you’ve only been missing for one day.
Give them time to find you. It’s too soon to start worrying about that.”
They played three games of checkers. Jane
remembered all of the rules, but she couldn’t recall where or with whom she had
played before.
The afternoon passed quickly, and Carol
enjoyed every minute of it. Jane was charming, bright, and blessed with a good
sense of humor. Whether the game was checkers, hearts, or five-hundred rummy,
she played to win, but she never pouted when she lost. She was very good
company.
The girl’s charm and pleasing personality
made it highly unlikely that she would go unclaimed for long. Some teenagers
are so self-centered, spaced out on drugs, bullheaded, and destructive that
when one of them decides to run away from home, his decision often elicits only
a sigh of relief from his mother and father. But when a good kid like Jane Doe
disappears, a lot of people start sounding alarms.
There must be a family that loves her, Carol
thought. They’re probably crazy with worry
right now. Sooner or later they’ll turn up, crying and laughing with relief
that their girl has been found alive. So why not sooner? Where are they?
The doorbell rang at precisely three-thirty.
Paul answered it and found a pallid, gray-eyed man of about
fifty. He wore gray slacks, a pale gray
shirt, and a dark gray sweater.
“Mr. Tracy?”
“Yes. Are you from Safe Homes?”
“That’s right,” the gray man said. “Name’s
Bill Alsgood. I am Safe Homes. Started the company two years ago.”
They shook hands, and Alsgood entered the
foyer, looking with interest at the interior of the house. “Lovely place.
You’re lucky to get same-day service. Usually, I’m scheduled three days in
advance. But when you called this morning and said it was an emergency, I’d
just had a cancellation.”
“You’re a building inspector?” Paul asked,
closing the door.
“Structural engineer, to be precise. What our
company does is inspect the house before it’s sold, usually on behalf of the
buyer, at his expense. We tell him if he’s buying into a heartache of any
sort—a leaky roof, a cellar that floods, a crumbling foundation, faulty wiring,
bad plumbing, that kind of thing. We’re fully bonded, so even if we overlook
something, our client is protected. Are you the buyer or the seller?”
“Neither,” Paul said. “My wife and I own the
place, but we aren’t ready to sell it. We’re having a problem with the house,
and I can’t pinpoint the cause of it. I thought you might be able to help.”
Alsgood raised one gray eyebrow. “May I
suggest that what you need is a good handyman. He’d be considerably cheaper,
and once he’d found the trouble, he could fix it, too. We don’t do any repair
work, you know. We only inspect.”
“I’m aware of that. I’m pretty handy myself,
but I haven’t figured out what’s wrong or how to fix it.
I think I need the kind of expert advice that
no handyman can give me.’
“You do know we charge two hundred and
fifty dollars for an inspection?”
“I know,” Paul said. “But this is an
extremely annoying problem, and it might be causing serious structural damage.”
“What is it?”
Paul told him about the hammering sounds that
occasionally shook the house.
“That’s peculiar as hell,” Alsgood said.
“I’ve never heard a complaint like it before.” He thought for a moment, then
said, “Where’s your furnace?”
“In the cellar.”
“Maybe it’s a heating duct problem. Unlikely.
But we can start down there and work our way up to the roof until we’ve found
the cause.”
For the next two hours, Alsgood looked into
every cranny of the house, poked and probed and rapped and visually inspected
every inch of the interior, then every inch of the roof, while Paul tagged
along, assisting wherever he could. A light rain began to fall when they were
still on the roof, and they were both soaked by the time they finished the job
and climbed down. Alsgood’s left foot slipped off the last rung of the ladder,
just as he was about to step onto the waterlogged lawn, and he twisted his
ankle painfully. All that risk and inconvenience was for nothing because
Alsgood didn’t find anything out of the ordinary.
At five-thirty, in the kitchen, they warmed up
with coffee while Alsgood filled out his report. Wet and bedraggled, he looked
even more pallid than when Paul had first seen him. The rain had transformed
his gray clothes—once a variety of shades — into a single, dull hue, so that he
appeared to be wearing a drab uniform. “It’s basically a solid house, Mr.
Tracy. The condition is really topnotch.”
“Then where the devil did that sound come
from? And why was the whole house shaken by it?”
“I wish I’d heard it.”
“I was sure it’d start up at least once while
you were here.”
Alsgood sipped his coffee, but the warm brew
added no color to his cheeks. “Structurally, there’s not a thing wrong with
this house. That’s what my report will say, and I’d stake my reputation on it.”
“Which puts me right back at square one,”
Paul said, folding his hands around his coffee cup.
“I’m sorry you spent all this money without
getting an answer,” Alsgood said. “I really feel bad about that.”
“It isn’t your fault. I’m convinced you did a
thorough job. In fact, if I ever buy another house, I’ll definitely want you to
inspect it first. At least I now know the trouble isn’t structural, which rules
out possibilities and narrows the field of inquiry.”
“Maybe you won’t even hear it again. It might
stop just as suddenly as it started.”
“Somehow, I suspect you’re wrong about that,”
Paul said.
Later, at the front door, as Alsgood was
leaving, he said, “One thought has occurred to me, but I hesitate to mention
it.”
“Why?”
“You might think it’s off the wall.”
“Mr. Alsgood, I’m a desperate man. I’m
willing to consider anything, no matter how farfetched it might be.”
Alsgood looked at the ceiling, then at the
floor, then back along the hail that lay behind Paul, then down at his own
feet. “A ghost,” he said quietly.
Paul stared at him, surprised.
Alsgood cleared his throat nervously, shifted
his eyes to the floor again, then finally raised them and met Paul’s gaze.
“Maybe you don’t believe in ghosts.”
“DO you?” Paul asked.
“Yes. I’ve been interested in the subject
most of my life. I have a large collection of publications dealing with
spiritualism of all sorts. I’ve had some personal experiences in haunted
houses, too.”
“You’ve seen a ghost”
“I believe I have, yes, on four occasions.
Ectoplasmic apparitions. Insubstantial, manlike shapes drifting in the air.
I’ve also twice witnessed poltergeist phenomena. As far as this house is
concerned..
His voice trailed away, and he licked his
lips nervously. “If you find this boring or preposterous, I don’t want to waste
your time.”
“Quite frankly,” Paul said, “I can’t picture
myself calling an exorcist in to deal with this. But I’m not entirely
close-minded where ghosts are concerned. I find it hard to accept, but I’m
certainly willing to listen.”
“Reasonable enough,” Alsgood said. For the
first time since he had rung the doorbell more than two hours ago, color rose
into his milky complexion, and his watery eyes brightened with a spark of
enthusiasm. “All right. Here’s something to consider. From what you’ve told me,
I’d say there might be a poltergeist at work here. Of course, no objects have
been hurled around by an unseen presence; there’s been no breakage, and
poltergeists dearly love to break things. But the shaking of the house, the
clattering pots and pans, the little bottles clinking against one another in
the spice rack—those are all indications of a poltergeist at work, one that’s
just beginning to test its powers. If it is a poltergeist, then you can
expect worse to come. Oh, yes. Definitely. Furniture moving across the floor
all by itself. Pictures flung off the walls, lamps knocked down and broken.
Dishes flying around the room as if they were birds.” His wan countenance
flushed with excitement as he considered the supernatural destruction.
“Levitations of heavy objects like sofas and beds and refrigerators. Now mind
you, there are some recorded cases of people being plagued by benign poltergeists
that don’t break much of anything, but the overwhelming number of them are
malign, and that’s what you’ll most likely have to deal with—if indeed you’ve got
one here at all.’, Having warmed to his subject, he finished in an almost
breathless rush of words: “In its most active form, even a benign poltergeist
can completely disrupt a household, interfere with your sleep, and keep you so
on edge that you don’t know whether you’re coming or going.”
Startled by Alsgood’s passionately delivered
speech
and by the odd new light in the man’s eyes,
Paul said, “Well.. . uh. . . it’s really not that bad. Not nearly that bad.
Just a hammering sound and—”
“It’s not that bad yet,” Alsgood said
somberly.
“But if you have a poltergeist here, the
situation could deteriorate rapidly. If you’ve never seen one in action, Mr.
Tracy, you simply can’t understand what it’s like.”
Paul was disconcerted by the change in the
man. He felt as if he had opened the door to one of those
wholesome-looking types who turned out to be
pushing crackpot religious pamphlets and who proclaimed the imminence of
Judgment Day in the same bubbly, upbeat tone of voice that Donny Osmond might
use to introduce his cute little sister, Marie, to a panting audience of Osmond
fans. There was a disquieting zeal in Alsgood’s manner.
“If it does turn out to be a
poltergeist,” Alsgood said, “if things do get a lot worse, will you call
me right away? I’ve been fortunate enough to observe two poltergeists, as I
said. I’d like nothing better than to see a third going through its tricks. The
opportunity doesn’t arise very often.”
“I guess not,” Paul said.
“So you’ll call me?”
“I very much doubt there’s a poltergeist involved
here, Mr. Alsgood. If I keep looking long enough and hard enough, I’ll find a
perfectly logical explanation for what’s been happening. But on the off-chance
that it is a malign spirit, rest assured I’ll give you a call the moment the
first refrigerator or chiffonier levitates.”
Alsgood wasn’t able to see anything amusing
about their conversation. He frowned when he detected levity in Paul’s voice,
and he said, “I didn’t really expect you to take me seriously.”
“Oh, please don’t think I’m not grateful for—”
“No, no,” Alsgood said, waving him to
silence.
“I understand. No offense taken.” The
excitement had gone out of his watery eyes. “You’ve been raised to believe
strictly in science. You’ve been taught to put your faith only in things that
can be seen and touched and measured. That’s the modem way.” His shoulders
slumped. The color in his face faded, and his skin became pale, grayish, and
slack, as it had been a few minutes ago. “Asking you to be open-minded about
ghosts is as pointless as trying to convince a deep-sea creature that there are
such things as birds. It’s sad but true, and I have no reason to be angry about
it.”
He opened the front door, and the sound of
the rain grew louder. “Anyway, for your sake, I hope it isn’t a poltergeist
you’ve got here. I hope you find that logical explanation you’re looking for. I
really do, Mr. Tracy.”
Before Paul could respond, Alsgood turned and
walked out into the rain. He no longer seemed like a zealot; there was no trace
of passion in him. He was just a thin, gray man, shuffling through the gray
mist, head slightly bowed against the gray rain, illuminated by the gray light
of the storm; he almost seemed like a ghost himself;
Paul closed the door, put his back against
it, and looked around the hall, through the nearest archway, which opened onto
the living room. Poltergeist? Not very damned likely.
He preferred Alsgood’s other suggestion: that
the hammering might simply stop as suddenly and inexplicably as it had started,
without the cause ever being known.
He glanced at his watch. 6:06.
Carol had said she would remain at the
hospital until eight o’clock and would then come home for a late meal. That
gave him an hour or so to work on his novel before he had to start cooking
dinner— broiled chicken breasts, steamed vegetables, and rice with bits of
green pepper.
He went upstairs to his office and sat down
at the typewriter. He picked up the last page he had written, intending to
reread it a few times and get back into the mood and tone of the story he was
telling.
THUNK! THUNK!
The house shook. The windows rattled.
He bolted up from his chair.
THUNK!
On his desk, the jar full of pens and pencils
toppled over, cracked into several pieces, and spilled its contents onto the
floor.
Silence.
He waited. One minute. Two minutes.
Nothing.
There was no sound except the snapping of the
rain against the windows and the drumming of it on the roof.
Only three hammer blows this time. Harder
than any that had come before. But only three. Almost as if someone were
playing games with him, taunting him.
***
Shortly before midnight, in room 316, the
girl laughed softly in her sleep.
Outside her window, lightning pulsed, and the
night flickered, and the darkness seemed to gallop for a moment, as if it were
a huge and eager beast.
The girl turned onto her stomach without
waking, murmured into her pillows. “The ax,” she said with a wistful sigh. “The
ax. ..."
On the stroke of midnight, just forty minutes
after she had fallen asleep, Carol bolted up from her pillows, trembling
violently. As she struggled out of the grip of her nightmare, she heard someone
say, “It’s coming! It’s coming!” She stared wildly, blindly into the lightless
room until she realized the panic-stricken voice had been her own.
Suddenly she could not tolerate the darkness
one second longer. She fumbled desperately for the switch on the bedside lamp,
found it, and sagged with relief.
The light didn’t disturb Paul. He mumbled in
his sleep but didn’t wake.
Carol leaned back against the headboard and
listened to her racing heart as it gradually slowed to a normal beat.
Her hands were icy. She put them under the
covers and curled them into warming fists.
The nightmares have got to stop, she told
herself. I can’t go through this every night. I need my sleep.
Perhaps a vacation was called for. She had
been working too hard for too long. The accumulated weariness was probably
partly to blame for her bad dreams. She had also been under a great deal of
unusual stress lately: the pending adoption, the near-tragic events in
O’Brian’s office on Wednesday, the accident just yesterday morning, the girl’s
amnesia for which she felt responsible. .. . Living with too much tension could
cause exceptionally vivid nightmares of the sort she was experiencing. A week
in the mountains, away from everyday problems, seemed like the perfect
medicine.
In addition to all the other sources of
stress, that day was approaching, the birthday of the child she had put
up for adoption. A week from tomorrow, the
Saturday after next, would mark sixteen years
since she had relinquished the baby. Already, eight days in advance of that
anniversary, she was burdened by a heavy mantle of guilt. By the time next
Saturday rolled around, she would most likely be thoroughly depressed, as
usual. A week in the mountains, away from everyday problems, might be the
perfect medicine for that ailment, too.
Last year, she and Paul had purchased a
vacation cabin on an acre of timbered land in the mountains. It was a cozy
place—two bedrooms, one bath, a living room with a big stone fireplace, and a
complete kitchen—a retreat that combined all the comforts of civilization with
the clean air, marvelous scenery, and tranquility that could not be found in
the city.
They had planned to get away to the cabin at
least two weekends every month during the summer, but they had made the trip
only three times in the past four months, less than half as often as they had
hoped.
Paul had labored hard to meet a series of
self-imposed deadlines on his novel, and she had taken on more patients—a
couple of really troubled kids who simply could not be turned away—and for both
herself and Paul, work had expanded to fill every spare moment. Perhaps they
were the overachievers that Alfred O’Brian had thought they might be.
But we’ll change when we have a child, Carol
told herself. We’ll make lots of time for leisure and for family outings
because creating the best environment for our child is the job we’re looking
forward to more than any other.
Now, sitting up in bed, the grisly nightmare
still chillingly fresh in her mind, she decided to start changing her life from
this moment on. They would take off a few days, maybe a whole week, and
go to the mountains before the recommendations committee's meeting at the end
of the month, so they would be rested and composed when at last they met the
child who would be theirs. They couldn’t take off this coming week, of course.
She would need time to reschedule her appointments. Besides, she didn’t want to
leave town until Jane Doe’s parents showed up and properly identified the girl;
that might take a few more days. But they ought to be able to carve a large
chunk of time out of the week after next, and she made up her mind to start
nudging Paul about it first thing in the morning.
Having reached that decision, she felt
better. The mere prospect of a vacation, even a brief one, relieved much of her
tension.
She looked at Paul and said, “I love you.”
He continued to snore softly.
Smiling, she clicked off the light and
settled under the covers again. For a couple of minutes she listened to the
rain and to her husband’s rhythmic breathing; then she drifted into a sound,
satisfying sleep.
***
Rain fell throughout Saturday, rounding out a
monotonously watery, sunless week. The day was cool, too, and the wind had
teeth.
Carol visited Jane in the hospital on
Saturday afternoon. They played cards and talked about some of the articles the
girl had read in the magazines Carol had bought for her. Through every conversation,
regardless of the subject, Carol probed continuously but subtly at the girl’s
amnesia, prodded her memory without letting her see that she was being prodded.
But it was all wasted effort, for Jane’s past
remained beyond her grasp.
At the end of the afternoon visiting hours,
as Carol was heading toward the elevators on the third floor, she encountered
Dr. Sam Hannaport in the corridor.
“Haven’t the police come up with any leads at
all?” she asked.
He shrugged his burly shoulders. “Not yet.”
“It’s been over two days since the accident.”
“Which isn’t all that long.”
“It seems like an eternity to that poor kid
in there,” Carol said, gesturing toward the door of 316.
“I know,” Hannaport said. “And I feel just as
bad about it as you do. But it’s still too soon to be pessimistic.”
“If I had a girl like her, and if my
kid turned up missing for even one day, I’d be pushing the police hard, and
I’d make damned sure the story was in all the papers, and I’d be pounding on
doors and making a nuisance of myself all over the city.”
Hannaport nodded. “I know you would. I’ve
seen how you operate, and I admire your style. And listen, I think your visits
with the girl have an awful lot to do with keeping her spirits up. It’s good of
you to take all this time with her.”
“Well, I’m not angling for a testimonial
dinner,”
Carol said. “I don’t think I’m doing any more
than I have to do. I mean, I’ve got a responsibility here.”
A nurse came along, pushing a patient in a
wheelchair. Carol and Hannaport stepped out of the way.
“At least Jane seems to be in good physical
shape,” Carol said.
“Like I told you on Wednesday—there were no
serious injuries. In fact, because she is in
such good condition, she presents us with a problem. She doesn’t really belong
in a hospital. I just hope her parents show up before I’m forced to discharge
her.”
“Discharge her? But you can’t do that if she
has nowhere to go. She can’t cope outside. For God’s sake, she doesn’t even
know who she is!”
“Naturally, I’ll keep her here as long as I
possibly can. But by late tonight or tomorrow morning, all of our beds are
probably going to be full. Then, if the number of emergency admissions is
greater than the number of discharges already scheduled, we’ll have to look around
for a few other patients who can be safely released. Jane’s bound to be one of
them. If some guy’s brought in here with a cracked skull from an auto accident,
or if an ambulance delivers a woman who’s been stabbed by a jealous boyfriend,
I can’t justify turning away seriously injured people while I’m keeping a
perfectly healthy girl whose worst physical problem is a contusion on her left
shoulder.”
“But her amnesia—”
“Is something we can’t treat anyway.”
“But she has nowhere to go,” Carol said.
“What would happen to her?”
In his calm, soft, reassuring voice,
Hannaport said, “She’ll be okay. Really. We’re not going to just abandon her.
We’ll petition to have her declared a ward of the court until her parents show
up. In the meantime, she’ll do just as well at some minimal-care facility as
she would do here.”
“What facility are you talking about?”
“Just three blocks from here, there’s a borne
for runaway and pregnant teenage girls, and it’s far
cleaner and better managed than the average
state institution.”
“The Polmar Home,” Carol said. “I know it.”
“Then you know it’s not a dungeon or a dump.”
“I still don’t like moving her out of here,”
Carol said. “She’s going to feel as if she’s being shunted aside, forgotten,
and left to rot. She’s on very shaky ground already. This’II scare her half to
death.”
Frowning, Hannaport said, “I don’t like it
much myself, but! truly don’t have an option. If we’re short on bed space, the
law says we’ve got to consider degrees of need and take in those patients who
have the most to lose by being denied care or by having treatment delayed. I’m
in a bind.”
“I understand. I’m not blaming you. Dammit,
if someone would just come forward to claim her!”
“Someone might, any minute.”
Carol shook her head. “No. I’ve got a feeling
it’s not going to be that easy. Have you told Jane yet?”
“No. We won’t make the petition to the court
sooner than Monday morning, so I might as well wait until tomorrow to explain
it to her. Maybe something'll happen between now and then to make it
unnecessary. No use worrying her until we have to.”
Carol was depressed, remembering her own days
in a state-run institution, before Grace had come along to rescue her. She had
been a tough kid, street-smart, but the experience had nevertheless scarred
her. Jane was bright and spunky and strong and sweet, but she wasn’t rough, not
like Carol had been at her age. What would institutional living do to her if
she had to endure it for more than a day or two? If she was simply dropped in
among kids who were street-smart, among kids who had drug and behavioral
problems, she would most likely be victimized, perhaps even violently. What she
needed was a real home, love, guidance— “Of course!” Carol said. She grinned.
Hannaport looked at her questioningly.
“Why can’t she come with me?” Carol
asked.
“What?”
“Look, Dr. Hannaport, if it’s all right with
Paul, my husband, why couldn’t you recommend to the court that I be awarded
temporary custody of Jane until someone shows up who can identify her?”
“You really better think twice about that,”
Hannaport said. “Taking her in, disrupting your lives—”
“It won’t be a disruption,” Carol said.
“It’ll be a pleasure. She’s a delightful kid.”
Hannaport stared at her a long moment,
searching her face and her eyes.
“After all,” Carol argued as persuasively as
she could, “the only kind of doctor who might be able to cure Jane’s amnesia is
a psychiatrist. And in case you’ve forgotten, that’s what I am. I’d not only be
able to provide a decent home for her; I’d also be able to treat her rather
intensively.”
Finally, Hannaport smiled. “I think it’s a
grand and generous offer, Dr. Tracy.”
“Then you’ll make the recommendation to the
court?”
“Yes. Of course, you never can be sure what a
judge will do. But I think there’s a pretty good chance he’ll see where the
best interests of the girl lie.”
A few minutes later, in the hospital lobby,
Carol used
a pay phone to call Paul. She recounted the
conversation she’d had with Dr. Hannaport, but before she
got to the big question, Paul interrupted
her. “You want to make a place for Jane,” he said.
Surprised, Carol said, “How’d you guess?”
He laughed. “I know you, sugarface. When it
comes to kids, you’ve got a heart the consistency of vanilla pudding.”
“She won’t be in your way,” Carol said
quickly. “She won’t distract you from your writing. And now that O’Brian won’t
be able to present our application for the adoption until the end of the month,
there’s no chance we’ll have two kids to take care of. In fact maybe the
delay at the agency was meant to be—so we’d have a place for Jane until her
folks show up. It’s only temporary, Paul. Really. And we—”
“Okay, okay,” he said. “You don’t have to
sell me on it. I approve of the plan.”
“If you’d like to come here and meet Jane
first, that’s—”
“No, no. I’m sure she’s everything you’ve
said she is. Don’t forget,
though, you were planning to go to the mountains in a week or so.”
“We might not even have Jane that long. And
if we do, we can probably take her with us, so long as we let the court know
where we’re going.”
“When do we have to appear in court?”
“I don’t know. Probably Monday or Tuesday.”
“I’ll be on my best behavior,” Paul said.
“Scrub behind your ears?”
“Okay. And I’ll also wear shoes.”
Grinning, Carol said, “Don’t pick your nose
in front of the judge.”
“Not unless he picks his first.”
She said, “I love you, Dr. Tracy.”
“I love you, Dr. Tracy.”
When she put down the receiver and turned
away from the pay phone, she felt wonderful. Not even the gaudy decor of the
visitors’ lounge could get on her nerves now.
***
That night, there was no hammering sound in
the Tracy house, no evidence of the poltergeist that Mr.
Alsgood had warned Paul about. There was no
disturbance the following day, either, and none the day after that. The strange
noise and the vibrations had ceased as inexplicably as they had begun.
Carol stopped having nightmares, too. She
slept deeply, peacefully, without interruption. She quickly forgot about the
flickering, silvery blade of the ax swinging back and forth in the strange
void.
The weather improved, too. The clouds
dissipated on Sunday. Monday was summery, blue.
Tuesday afternoon, while Paul and Carol were
in court trying to obtain temporary custody of Jane Doe, Grace Mitowski was
cleaning her kitchen. She had just finished dusting the top of the refrigerator
when the telephone rang.
“Hello.”
No one answered her. “Hello,” she said again.
A thin, whispery, male voice said, “Grace..
“Yes?”
His words were muffled, and there was an echo
on the line, as if he were talking into a tin can.
“I can’t understand you,” she said. “Can you
speak up?”
He tried, but again the words were lost. They
seemed to be coming from an enormous distance, across an unimaginably vast
chasm.
“We have a terrible connection,” she said.
“You’ll have to speak up.”
“Grace,” he said, his voice only slightly
louder. “Gracie it’s almost too late. You’ve got to . . . move fast. You’ve got
to stop it... from happening .. again.”
It was a dry, brittle voice; it cracked
repeatedly, with a sound like dead autumn leaves underfoot. “It’s almost. . .
too late. . . too late
She recognized the voice, and she froze. Her
hand tightened on the receiver, and she couldn’t get her breath.
“Gracie.. . it can’t go on forever. You’ve
got to put an end to it. Protect her, Gracie. Protect her
The voice faded away.
There was only silence. But not the silence
of an open phone line. There was no hissing. No electronic beeping in the
background. This was perfect silence, utterly unmarred by even the slightest
click or whistle of electronic circuitry. Vast silence. Endless.
She put the phone down.
She started to shake.
She went to the cupboard and got down the
bottle of Scotch she kept for visitors. She poured herself a double shot and
sat down at the kitchen table.
The liquor didn’t warm her. Chills still
shook her.
The voice on the phone had belonged to
Leonard. Her husband. He had been dead for eighteen years.
PART
TWO
Evil
Walks Among Us...
Evil
is no faceless stranger, living in a distant neighborhood.
Evil
has a wholesome, hometown face, with many eyes and an open smile.
Evil
walks among us, wearing a mask which looks like all our faces.
—The
Book of Counted Sorrows
7
TUESDAY, after winning temporary custody of
Jane Doe, Paul went home to work on his novel, and Carol took the girl
shopping. Because Jane had no clothes except those she’d been wearing when
she’d stepped in front of the Volkswagen last Thursday morning, she needed a
lot of things, even for just a few days. She was embarrassed about spending
Carol’s money, and at first she was reluctant to admit that she liked anything
she saw or that anything fit her well enough to buy it.
At last Carol said, “Honey, you need this
stuff, so please just relax and let me buy it for you. Okay? the long run, it
won’t be coming out of my pocket anyway. I’ll most likely be reimbursed either
by your parents, by the foster children program, or by some other county
agency.”
That argument worked. They quickly purchased
a couple of pairs of jeans, a few blouses, underwear, a good pair of sneakers,
socks, a sweater, and a windbreaker.
When they got home, Jane was impressed by the
Tudor house with its leaded-glass windows, gabled roof, and stonework. She fell
in love with the guest room in which she was to stay. It had a cove ceiling, a
long window seat inset in a bay window, and a wall of mirrored closet doors. It
was done in deep blue and pale beige, with Queen Anne furniture of lustrous
cherrywood. “It’s really just a guest room?” Jane asked, incredulous. “You don’t
use it regularly? Boy, if this were my house, I’d come in here all the time!
I’d just sit and read for a little while every day—read and sit there in the
window and soak up the atmosphere.”
Carol had always liked the room, but through
Jane’s eyes she achieved a new perception and appreciation of it. As she
watched the girl inspecting things—sliding open the closet doors, checking the
view from each angle of the bay window, testing the firmness of the mattress on
the queen-sized bed— Carol realized that one advantage of having children was
that their innocent, fresh reactions to everything could keep their parents
young and open-minded, too.
That evening, Carol, Paul, and Jane prepared
dinner together. The girl fit in comfortably and immediately, in spite of the
fact that she was somewhat shy. There was a lot of laughter in the kitchen and
at the dinner table.
After dinner, Jane started washing dishes
while Carol and Paul cleared the table. When they were separated from the girl
for a moment, alone in the
dining room, Paul said quietly, “She’s a
terrific kid.”
“Didn’t I tell you so?”
“Funny thing, though.”
“What?”
“Ever since I saw her this afternoon, outside
the courtroom,” Paul said, “I’ve had the feeling that I’ve seen her somewhere
before.”
“Where?”
He shook his head. “I’ll be damned if I know.
But there’s something familiar about her face.”
Throughout Tuesday afternoon, Grace expected
the phone to ring again.
She dreaded having to answer it.
She tried to work off her nervous energy by
cleaning the house. She scrubbed the kitchen floor, dusted the furniture in
every room, and swept all the carpets.
But she couldn’t stop thinking about the
call: the paper-dry, echo-distorted voice that had sounded like Leonard; the
odd things he had said; the eerie silence when he had finished speaking; the
disquieting sense of vast distances, an unimaginable gulf of space and time.
It had to be a hoax. But who could be responsible
for it? And why torment her with an imitation of Leonard’s voice, eighteen
years after the man had died? What was the point of playing games like this now,
after so much time had passed?
She tried to get her mind off the call by
baking apple dumplings. Thick, crusty dumplings—served with cinnamon, milk, and
just a bit of sugar—were a suppertime favorite of hers, for she had been born
and raised in Lancaster, the heart of the Pennsylvania Dutch country, where
that dish was considered a meal in itself. But Tuesday evening, she had no
appetite, not even for dumplings. She ate a few bites, but she couldn’t even
finish half of one dumpling, though she usually ate two whole ones in a single
meal.
She was still picking disinterestedly at her
food when the telephone rang.
Her head jerked up. She stared at the wall
phone that was above the small, built-in desk beside the refrigerator.
It rang again. And again.
Trembling, she got up, went to the phone, and
lifted the receiver.
“Gracie. .
The voice was faint but intelligible.
“Gracie. . . it’s almost too late.”
It was him. Leonard. Or someone who sounded
exactly like Leonard had sounded.
She couldn’t respond to him. Her throat
clutched tight.
“Gracie.. .“
Her legs seemed to be melting under her. She
pulled out the chair that was tucked into the
kneehole
of the desk, and she sat down quickly.
“Gracie. . . stop it from happening again. It
mustn’t. . . go on forever.. . time after time. . . the blood. . . the murder.
. .”
She closed her eyes, forced herself to speak.
Her voice was weak, quavery. She didn’t even recognize it as her own. It was
the voice of a stranger—a weary, frightened, frail old woman. “Who is this?”
The whispery, vibrative voice on the
telephone said, “Protect her, Oracle.”
“What do you want from me?”
“Protect her.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“Protect her.”
“Protect who?” she demanded.
“Willa. Protect Willa.”
She was still frightened and confused, but
she was beginning to be angry, too. “I don’t know anyone named Willa,
dammit! Who is this?”
“Leonard.”
“No! Do you think I’m a doddering, senile old
fool? Leonard’s dead. Eighteen years! You’re not Leonard. What kind of game are
you playing?”
She wanted to hang up on him, and she knew
that was the best thing to do with a crank like this, but she couldn’t make
herself put down the receiver. He sounded so much like Leonard that she was
mesmerized by his voice.
He spoke again, much softer than before, but
she could still hear him. “Protect Willa.”
“I tell you, I don’t know her. And if you
keep calling me with this nonsense, I’m going to tell the police that some sick
practical joker is—”
“Carol. . . Carol,” the man said, his voice
fading syllable by syllable. “Willa. . . but you call her. . . Carol.”
“What the hell is going on here?”
“Beware.. .the. . .cat.”
“What?”
The voice was so distant now that she had to
strain to hear it. “The .. . cat ...”
“Aristophanes? What about him? Have you done
something to him? Have you poisoned him? Is that what’s been wrong with him
lately”
No response.
“Are you there”
Nothing.
“What about the cat?” she demanded.
No answer.
She listened to the pure, pure silence, and
she began to tremble so violently that she had trouble holding the phone. “Who
are you? Why do you want to torment me like this? Why do you want to hurt
Aristophanes?”
Far, far away, the achingly familiar voice of
her long-dead husband uttered a few final, barely audible words. “Wish. . .1
was there.. . for the.. . apple dumplings.”
***
They had forgotten to buy pajamas for Jane.
She went to bed in knee socks, panties, and one of Carol’s T-shirts, which was
a bit large for her.
“What happens tomorrow?” she asked when she
was tucked in, her head raised on a plump pillow.
Carol sat on the edge of the bed. “I thought
we might start a program of treatment designed to pry open your memory.”
“What kind of treatment?”
“Do you know what hypnotic regression therapy
is?”
Jane was suddenly frightened. Several times
since the accident, she had made a conscious, concerted effort to remember who
she was, but on each occasion, as she felt herself coming close to a disturbing
revelation, she had become dizzy, disoriented, and panicky. When she pressed
her mind back, back, back toward the truth, a psychological defense mechanism
cut off her curiosity as abruptly as a strangler’s garrote might have cut off
her air supply. And every time, on the edge of unconsciousness, she saw a
strange, silvery object swinging back and forth through blackness, an utterly
indecipherable yet blood-chilling vision. She sensed there was something
hideous in her past, something so terrible that she would be better off no: remembering.
She had just about made up her mind not to seek what had been lost, to accept
her new life as a nameless orphan, even though it might be filled with
hardships. But through hypnotic regression therapy, she could be forced to
confront the specter in her past, whether she wanted to or not. That prospect
filled her with dread.
“Are you all right?” Carol asked.
The girl blinked, licked her lips. “Yeah. I
was just thinking about what you said. Hypnotic regression. Does that mean
you’re going to put me in a trance and make me remember everything?”
“Well, it isn’t that easy, honey. There’s no
guarantee it’ll work. I’ll hypnotize you and ask you to think back to the
accident on Thursday morning; then I’ll nudge you further and further into the
past. If you’re a good subject, you might remember who you are and where you
come from. Hypnotic regression is a tool that comes in handy sometimes when I’m
trying to get a patient to relive a deeply hidden, severely regressed trauma.
I’ve never used the technique on an amnesia victim, but I know it’s applicable
to a case like yours. Of course, it only works about half the time. And when it
does work, it takes more than one or two sessions. It can be a tedious,
frustrating process. We’re not going to get much of anywhere tomorrow, and in
fact your parents will probably show up before I’ve been able to help you
remember. But we might as well make a start. That is, if it’s all right with
you.”
She didn’t want Carol to know that she was
afraid to remember, so she said, “Oh, sure! It sounds fascinating.”
“I’ve got four patients scheduled for
tomorrow, but I can work you in at eleven o’clock. You’ll have to spend a lot
of time in the waiting room, before and after your session, so first thing in
the morning, we’ll find a book for you to take along. Do you like to read
mystery stories?”
“I guess so.”
“Agatha Christie?”
“The name’s familiar, but I don’t know
whether I’ve ever read any of her books.”
“You can try one tomorrow. If you were a big
fan of mysteries, maybe Agatha Christie will open your memory for you. Any
stimulus, any connection whatsoever with your past can act like a doorway.” She
leaned down, kissed Jane’s forehead. “But don’t worry about it now. Just get a
good night’s sleep, kiddo.”
After Carol left the room, closing the door
behind her, Jane didn’t immediately switch off the light. She let her gaze
travel slowly around the room and then slowly back again, her eyes resting on
each point of beauty.
Please, God, she thought, let me stay here.
Somehow, some way, let me stay in this house forever and ever. Don’t make me go
back where I came from, wherever that might be. This is where I want to live.
This is where I want to die, it’s so pretty.
Finally, she reached out and snapped off the
bedside lamp.
Darkness folded in like bat wings.
Using a piece of Masonite and four nails,
Grace Mitowski fixed a temporary seal over the inside of the pet door.
Aristophanes stood in the center of the
kitchen, his head cocked to one side, watching her with bright-eyed interest.
Every, few seconds, he meowed in what seemed to be an inquisitive tone.
When the last nail was in place, Grace said,
“Okay, cat. For the time being, your license to roam has been suspended. There
might be a man out there who’s been feeding you small amounts of drugs or
poison of some sort, and maybe that’s been the cause of your bad behavior.
We’ll just have to wait and see if you improve. Have you been flying high on
drugs, you silly cat?”
Aristophanes meowed questioningly.
“Yes,” Grace said. “I know it sounds bizarre.
But if it’s not some kook I’ve got to deal with, then it really must’ve been
Leonard on the phone. And that’s even more bizarre, don’t you think?”
The cat turned his head from one side to the
other, as if he really were flying to make sense of what she was saying.
Grace stopped, held out her hand, and rubbed
her thumb and forefinger together. “Here, kitty. Here, kitty-kitty-kitty.”
Aristophanes hissed, spat, turned, and ran.
For a change, they made love with the lights
off.
Carol’s breath was hot against his neck. She
pressed close, rocked and tensed and twisted and flexed in perfect harmony with
him; her exquisite, pneumatic movements were as fluid as currents in a warm
river. She arched her elegant back, lifted and subsided in tempo with his
measured strokes. She was as pliant, as silken, and eventually as
all-encompassing as the darkness.
Afterwards, they held hands and talked about
inconsequential things, steadily growing drowsy. Carol fell asleep while Paul
was talking. When she failed to respond to one of his questions, he gently
disentangled his hand from hers.
He was tired, but he couldn’t find sleep as
quickly as she had found it. He kept thinking about the girl. He was certain he
had seen her prior to their meeting outside the courtroom this morning. During
dinner, her face had grown more and more familiar. It continued to haunt him.
But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t recall where else he had seen her.
As he lay in the dark bedroom, paging through
his memory, he gradually became uneasy. He began to feel—utterly without
reason—that his previous encounter with Jane had been strange, perhaps even
unpleasant. Then he wondered if the girt might actually pose some sort of
threat to Carol and himself.
But that’s absurd, he thought. Doesn’t make
any sense at all. I must be even more tired than I thought.
Logic seems to be slipping out of my grasp.
What possible threat could Jane pose? She’s such a nice kid. An exceptionally
nice kid.
He sighed, rolled over, and thought about the
plot of his first novel (the failed one), and that quickly put him to sleep.
At one o’clock in the morning, Grace Mitowski
was sitting up in bed, watching a late movie on the Sony portable. She was
vaguely aware that Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall were engaged in witty
repartee, but she didn’t really hear anything they said. She had lost track of
the film’s plot only minutes after she had turned it on.
She was thinking about Leonard, the husband
she had lost to cancer eighteen years ago. He had been a good man,
hard-working, generous, loving, a grand conversationalist. She had loved him
very much.
But not everyone had loved Leonard. He
had had his faults, of course. The worst thing about him had been his
impatience—and the sharp tongue that his impatience had encouraged. He couldn’t
tolerate people who were lazy or apathetic or ignorant or foolish. “Which
includes two-thirds of the human race,” he had often said when he was feeling
especially curmudgeonly. Because he was an honest man with precious little
diplomacy in his bones, he had told people exactly what he thought of them. As
a result, he had led a life remarkably free of deception but rich in enemies.
She wondered if it had been one of those
enemies who had called her, pretending to be Leonard. A sick man might get as
much pleasure from tormenting
Leonard’s widow as he would have gotten from
tormenting Leonard himself. He might get a thrill from poisoning her cat and
from harassing her with weird phone calls.
But after eighteen years? Who would
have remembered Leonard’s voice so well as to be able to imitate it perfectly
such a long time later? Surely she was the only person in the world who could
still recognize that voice upon hearing it speak only a word or two. And why
bring Carol into it? Leonard had died three years before Carol had entered
Grace’s life; he had never known the girl. His enemies couldn’t possibly have
anything against Carol. What had the caller meant when he’d referred to Carol
as “Willa”? And, most disturbing of all, how did the caller know she had just
made apple dumplings?
There was another explanation, though
she was loath to consider it. Perhaps the caller hadn’t been an old enemy of
Leonard’s. Maybe the call actually had come from Leonard himself. From a dead
man.
—No. Impossible.
—A lot of people believe in ghosts.
—Not me.
She thought about the strange dreams she’d
had last week. She hadn’t believed in dream prophecies then. Now she did. So
why not ghosts, too?
No. She was a level-headed woman who had
lived a stable, rational life, who had been trained in the sciences, who had
always believed that science held all the answers. Now, at seventy years of
age, if she made room for the existence of ghosts within her otherwise rational
philosophy, she might be opening the floodgates on madness. If you truly
believed in ghosts, what came next? Vampires? Did you have to
start carrying a sharp wooden stake and a
crucifix everywhere you went? Werewolves? Better buy a box of silver bullets!
Evil elves who lived in the center of the earth and caused quakes and
volcanoes? Sure! Why not?
Grace laughed bitterly.
She couldn’t suddenly become a believer in
ghosts, because acceptance of that superstition might require the acceptance of
countless others. She was too old, too comfortable with herself, too accustomed
to her familiar ways to reconsider her entire view of life. And she certainly
wasn’t going to contemplate such a sweeping reevaluation merely because she had
received two bizarre phone calls.
That left only one thing to be decided:
whether or not she should tell Carol that someone was harassing her and had
used Carol’s name. She tried to hear how she would sound when she explained the
telephone calls and when she outlined her theory about Aristophanes being
drugged or poisoned. She couldn’t hope to sound like the Grace Mitowski that
everyone knew. She’d come off like an hysterical old woman who was seeing
nonexistent conspirators behind every door and under every bed.
They might even think she was going senile.
Am I? she wondered. Did I imagine the
telephone calls? No. Surely not.
She wasn’t imagining Aristophanes’s changed
personality, either. She looked at the claw marks on the palm of her hand;
although they were healing, they were still red and puffy. Proof. Those marks
were proof that something was wrong.
I’m not senile, she told herself. Not even a
little bit. But I sure don’t want to have to convince Carol or Paul that I’ve
got all my marbles, once I’ve told them that I’m getting phone calls from
Leonard. Better go easy for the time being. Wait. See what happens next.
Anyway, I can figure this out on my own. I can handle it.
On the Sony, Bogart and Bacall grinned at
each other.
When Jane woke up in the middle of the night,
she discovered she had been sleepwalking. She was in the kitchen, but she
couldn’t recall getting out of bed and coming downstairs.
The kitchen was silent. The only sound was
from the softly purring refrigerator. The only light was from the moon, but
because the moon was full and because the kitchen had quite a few windows,
there was enough light to see by.
Jane was standing at a counter near the sink.
She had opened one of the drawers and had taken a butcher knife out of it.
She stared down at the knife, startled to
find it in her hand.
Pale moonlight glinted on the cold blade.
She returned the knife to the drawer.
Closed the drawer.
She had been gripping the knife so tightly
that her hand ached.
Why did! want a knife?
A chill skittered like a centipede along her
spine.
Her bare arms and legs broke out in
gooseflesh, and she was suddenly very aware that she was wearing only a
T-shirt, panties, and knee socks.
The refrigerator motor shut off with a dry
rattle that made her jump and turn.
Now the house was preternaturally silent. She
could almost believe that she had gone deaf.
What was I doing with the knife?
She hugged herself to ward off the chills
that kept wriggling through her.
Maybe she had dreamed about food and had come
down here in her sleep to make a sandwich. Yes. That was probably what had
happened. In fact she was a bit hungry. So she had gotten the knife out
of the drawer in order to slice some roast beef for a sandwich. There was a
butt end of a roast in the refrigerator. She had seen it earlier, when she had
been helping Carol and Paul make dinner.
But now she didn’t think she could eat a
sandwich or anything else. Her bare legs were getting colder by the moment, and
she felt immodestly exposed in just flimsy panties and a thin T-shirt. All she
wanted now was to get back to bed, under the covers.
Climbing the steps in the darkness, she
stayed close to the wall, where the treads were less likely to creak. She
returned to her room without waking anyone.
Outside, a dog howled in the distance.
Jane burrowed deeper in her blankets.
For a while she had trouble getting to sleep
because she felt guilty about prowling through the house while the Tracys
slept. She felt sneaky. She felt as if she had been taking advantage of their
hospitality.
Of course, that was silly. She hadn’t been
nosing around on purpose. She had been sleepwalking, and there was no way a
person could control something like that.
Just sleepwalking.
8
THE focal point of Carol Tracy’s office was
Mickey Mouse. One long wall of the room was fitted with shelves on which were
displayed Mickey Mouse memorabilia. There were Mickey Mouse buttons, Mickey
Mouse pins, a wristwatch, belt buckles, a Mickey Mouse phone, drinking glasses
bearing the famous mouse’s countenance, a beer mug on which there was a
likeness of Mickey dressed in lederhosen and a Tyrolean hat. But mostly there
were statuettes of the cartoon star: Mickey standing beside a little red car;
Mickey curled up in striped pajamas. sleeping; Mickey dancing a jig; Mickey
with Minnie; Mickey with Goofy; Mickey holding barbells; Mickey with Pluto;
Mickey and Donald Duck with their arms around each other’s shoulders, looking
like the best of friends; Mickey riding a horse, with a cowboy hat
raised in one white-gloved, four-fingered
hand; Mickey dressed like a soldier, a sailor, a doctor; Mickey in swimming
trunks, clutching a surfboard. There were wooden, metal, chalk, porcelain,
plastic, glass, and clay statuettes of Mickey; some of them were a foot high,
and some were no more than one inch tall, though most were in between. The only
thing those hundreds of Mickeys had in common was the fact that every one of
them was smiling broadly.
The collection was an icebreaker with
patients of all ages. No one could resist Mickey Mouse.
Jane responded as scores of patients had done
before her. She said “oooh” and “aaah” a lot, and she laughed happily. By the
time she had finished admiring the collection and had sat down in one of the
big leather armchairs, she was ready for the therapy session; her tension and
apprehension had disappeared. Mickey had worked his usual magic.
Carol didn’t have an analyst’s couch in her
office.
She preferred to conduct sessions from a
large wing chair, with the patient seated in an identical chair on the other
side of the octagonal coffee table. The drapes were always kept tightly shut;
soft, golden light was provided by shaded floor lamps. Except for the wall of
Mickey Mouse images, the room had a nineteenth-century air.
They chatted about the collection for a
couple of minutes, and then Carol said, “Okay, honey. I think we ought to
begin.”
Worry lines appeared on the girl’s forehead.
“You really think this hypnosis is a good idea?”
“Yes. I think it’s the best tool we have for
restoring your memory. Don’t worry. It’s a simple process. Just relax and flow
with it. Okay?”
“Well. . . okay.”
Carol got up and stepped around the coffee
table, and Jane started to get up, too. “No, you stay there,” Carol said. She
moved behind the wing chair and put her fingertips against the girl’s temples.
“Relax, honey. Lean back. Hands in your lap. Palms up, fingers slack.
That’s fine. Now close your eyes. Are they closed?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Very good. Now I want you to think of
a kite. A large, diamond-shaped kite. Picture it in your mind. It’s an
enormous, blue kite sailing high in the blue sky. Can you see it?”
After a brief hesitation, the girl said,
“Yes.”
“Watch the kite, honey. See how gently it
rises and falls on the currents of air. Rises, falls, up and down, up and down,
side to side, sailing so gracefully, far above the earth, halfway between the
earth and the clouds, far above your head,” Carol said in a mellow, soothing,
rhythmic voice as she stared down at the girl’s thick blond hair. “While you’re
watching the kite, you’ll gradually become as light and as free as it is.
You’ll learn to soar up and up into the blue sky, just like the kite.” With her
fingertips, she lightly traced circles on the girl’s temples. “All the tension
is leaving you, all the worries and cares are floating away, away, until the
only thought in your head is the kite, the sailing kite in the blue sky. A
great weight has been removed from your skull, from your forehead and your
temples. Already, you feel much lighter.” She moved her hands down to the
girl’s neck. “The muscles in your neck are relaxing. Tension is dropping away.
A great weight is dropping away. You are so much lighter now that you can
almost feel yourself rising up toward the kite. . . almost.. . almost. . She
moved her hands down, touched the girl’s shoulders. “Relax. Let the tension
fall away. Like blocks of concrete. Making you lighter, lighter. A weight is
falling off your chest, too. And now you’re floating. Just a few inches off the
ground, but you are floating.”
“Yes.. . floating. . .“ she said, her voice
thick.
“The kite is gliding far above, but you are
slowly, slowly moving up to join it.. .
She went on like that for a minute, then
returned to her own chair and sat down.
Jane was slumped in the other wing chair,
head tilted to one side, eyes closed, face soft and slack, breathing softly.
“You are in a very deep sleep,” Carol told
her. “A very relaxed, very deep, deep sleep. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” the girl murmured.
“You will answer a few questions for me.”
“Okay.”
“You will remain in your deep sleep, and you
will answer my questions until I tell you it’s time to wake up. Understood?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Very good. Now tell me—what is your
name?”
The girl was silent.
“What is your name, honey?”
“Jane.”
“Is that your real name?”
“No.’’
“What is your real name?”
Jane frowned. “I. . . don’t remember.”
“Where did you come from?”
“The hospital.”
“Before that””
“Nowhere.”
A bead of saliva glistened at the corner of
the girl’s
mouth. Languorously, she licked it away
before it could drool down her chin.
Carol said, “Honey, do you remember the
Mickey Mouse watch you saw a few minutes ago?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I’ve taken that watch from the shelf,”
Carol said, though she hadn’t moved from her chair. “And now I’m turning the
hands on it backwards, around and around the dial, always backwards. Can you
see the hands moving backwards on that Mickey Mouse watch?”
“Yes.”
“Now something amazing is happening. As I
turn those hands backwards and backwards, time itself begins to flow in
reverse. It isn’t a quarter past eleven any more. It’s now eleven o’clock. This
is a magic watch. It governs the flow of time. And now it’s ten o’clock in the
morning. . . nine o’clock. . . eight o’clock.... Look around you. Where are you
now?”
The girl opened her eyes. They were fixed on
a distant point. She said, “Ummm. . . the kitchen. Yeah. The breakfast nook.
Boy, the bacon’s nice and crisp.”
Gradually, Carol moved her back in time, back
through the days she had spent in the hospital, finally regressing to the
accident last Thursday morning. The girl winced as she relived the moment of
impact, and cried out, and Carol soothed her, and then they went back a few
minutes further.
“You’re standing on the sidewalk,” Carol
said.
“You’re dressed only in a blouse and jeans.
It’s raining. Chilly.”
The girl closed her eyes again. She shivered.
“What’s your name?” Carol asked. Silence.
“What’s your name, honey?”
“I don’t know.”
“Where have you just come from?”
“Nowhere.”
“You mean you have amnesia?” “Yes.”
“Even before the accident?’
“Yes.”
Although she was still very concerned about
the girl, Carol was relieved to hear that she wasn’t responsible for Jane’s
condition. For a moment she felt like that blue kite, capable of soaring up and
away.
Then she said, “Okay. You’re about to step
into the street. Do you just want to cross it, or do you intend to walk in
front of a car?’
“I. . . don’t. . . know.”
“How do you feel? Happy? Depressed?
Indifferent?”
“Scared,” the girl said in a small, shaky
voice.
“What are you scared of?” Silence.
“What are you scared of?” “It’s coming.”
“What’s coming?” “Behind me!” “What’s behind
you?”
The girl opened her eyes again. She was still
staring at a distant point, but now there was stark terror in her eyes.
“What’s behind you?” Carol asked again.
“Oh God,” the girl said miserably.
“What is it?”
“No, no.” She shook her head. Her face was
bloodless.
Carol leaned forward in her chair. “Relax, honey.”
You will relax and be calm. Close your eyes.
Calm. . . like the kite.. . far above
everything... floating. . . warm.”
The tension went out of Jane’s face.
“All right,” Carol said. “Staying calm,
always relaxed and calm, you will tell me what you’re afraid of.”
The girl said nothing.
“Honey, what are you scared of? What’s behind
you?”
“Something...”
“What?”
“Something...”
Patiently, Carol said, “Be specific.”
“I. . . don’t know what it is. . . but it’s
coming. . . and it scares me.”
“Okay. Let’s go back a bit further.” Using
the image of the backwards-moving hands on the Mickey Mouse wristwatch, she
regressed the girl another full day into the past. “Now look around. Where are
you?”
“Nowhere.”
“What do you see?”
“Nothing.”
“You must see something, honey.”
“Darkness.”
“Are you in a dark room?”
“No.”
“Are there walls in the darkness?”
“No.”
“Are you outdoors at night?”
"No."
She regressed the girl another day. “Now what
do you see?”
“Just the darkness.”
“There must be something else.”
“No.”
“Open your eyes, honey.”
The girl obeyed. Her blue eyes were vacant,
glassy. “Nothing.”
Carol frowned. “Are you sitting or standing
in that dark place?”
“I don’t know.”
“What do you feel under you? A chair? A
floor? A bed?”
“Nothing.”
“Reach down. Touch the floor.”
“There isn’t a floor.”
Uneasy about the direction the session was
taking, Carol shifted in her chair and stared at the girl for a while,
wondering what to try next.
After a few seconds, Jane’s eyes fluttered
and went shut.
Finally, Carol said, “All right. I’m turning
the hands of the watch counterclockwise again. Time is flowing in reverse. It
will continue to flow backwards, hour by hour, day by day, faster and faster,
until you stop me. I want you to stop me only when you come out of the darkness
and can tell me where you are. I’m turning the hands now. Backwards...
backwards.. .“
Ten seconds passed in silence. Twenty.
Thirty.
After a full minute, Carol said, “Where are
you?”
“Nowhere yet.”
“Keep going. Backwards.. . back in time. .
After another minute, Carol began to think
something was wrong. She had the disquieting feeling that she was losing
control of the situation and placing her patient in some kind of danger that
could not be foreseen. But as she was about to call a halt to the regression
and bring the girl forward again, Jane spoke at last.
The girl shot up out of the chair, onto her
feet, flailing and screaming. “Somebody help me! Mama! Aunt Rachael! For God’s
sake, help me!”
The voice wasn’t Jane’s. It came from her
mouth, through her tongue and lips, but it didn’t sound at all like her. It
wasn’t merely distorted by panic. It was an entirely different voice from
Jane’s. It had its own character, its own accent and tone.
“I’m going to die here’ Help! Get me out
of here!”
Carol was on her feet, too. “Honey, stop it.
Calm down.”
“I’m on fire! I’m on fire!” the girl
screamed, and she slapped at her clothes as if trying to put out the flames.
“No!” Carol said sharply. She stepped around
the coffee table and managed to seize the girl’s arm, taking several glancing
blows in the process.
Jane thrashed, tried to break loose.
Carol held on and began to talk softly but
insistently to her, calming her down.
Jane stopped struggling, but she began to
gasp and wheeze. “Smoke,” she said, gagging. “So much smoke.”
Carol talked her out of that, too, and
gradually brought her down from the peak of hysteria.
At last Jane sank back into the wing chair.
She was wan, and her forehead was strung with beads of sweat. Her blue eyes,
staring into a distant place and time, looked haunted.
Carol knelt beside the chair and held the
girl’s hand. “Honey, can you hear me?”
“Yes.”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m afraid
“There is no fire.”
“There was. Everywhere,” the girl said, still
speaking with the unfamiliar voice.
“There isn’t any more. No fire anywhere.”
“If you say so.”
“I do. I say so. Now tell me your name.”
“Laura.”
“Do you remember your last name?”
“Laura Havenswood.”
Carol flushed with triumph. “Very good.
That’s just fine. Where’s your home, Laura?”
“Shippensburg.”
Shippensburg was a small town less than an
hour from Harrisburg. It was a quiet, pleasant place that existed to serve a
flourishing state college and a large number of surrounding farms.
“Do you know the address where you live in
Shippensburg?” Carol asked.
“There’s no street name. It’s a farm. Just
outside of town, off Walnut Bottom Road.”
“So you could take me there if you had to?”
“Oh, yes. It’s a pretty place. There are a
pair of stone gateposts by the verge of the county lane; they mark the entrance
to our land. And there’s a long drive flanked by maples, and there are big oaks
around
the house. It’s cool and breezy in the summer
with all those shade trees.”
“What’s your father’s first name?”
“Nicholas.”
“And his phone number?”
The girl frowned. “His what?”
“What’s the telephone number at your house?”
The girl shook her head. “I don’t know what
you mean.”
“Don’t you have a telephone?”
“What is a telephone?” the girl asked.
Carol stared at her, puzzled. It wasn’t
possible for a person under hypnosis to be coy or to make jokes of this sort.
As she considered her next move, she saw that Laura was becoming agitated
again. The girl’s brow furrowed, and her eyes widened. She started breathing
hard again.
“Laura, listen to me. You will be calm. You
will relax and—”
The girl writhed uncontrollably in her chair.
Squealing and gasping, she slid off the
chair, rolled onto the floor, bumping the coffee table and pushing it aside.
She twisted and shuddered and wriggled as if she were having a severe epileptic
fit, though she was not; she brushed frantically at herself, for again she
seemed to believe she was on fire. She called for someone named Rachael and
choked on nonexistent smoke.
Carol required almost a minute to talk her
down, which was a serious loss of control; a hypnotist could usually calm a
subject in only seconds. Apparently, Laura had lived through an extremely
traumatic tire or had lost a loved one in a blaze. Carol wanted to pursue the
matter and learn what was at the root of it, but this wasn’t the right time.
After taking so long to quiet her patient, she knew the session should
be ended quickly.
When Laura was seated in the wing chair
again, Carol crouched beside her and instructed her to remember everything that
had happened and everything that had been said during the session. Then she led
the girl forward through time to the present and brought her out of the trance.
The girl wiped at the moist corner of one
eye, shook her head, cleared her threat. She looked at Carol and said, “I guess
it didn’t work, huh?” She sounded like Jane again; the Laura voice was gone.
But why the hell had her voice changed in the
first place? Carol wondered.
“You don’t remember what happened?” Carol
asked.
“What’s to remember? All that talk about a
blue kite? I could see what you were trying to do, how you were trying to lull
me into a trance, so I guess that’s why it didn’t work.”
“But it did work,” Carol assured her.
“And you should be able to recall all of it.”
The girl looked skeptical. “All of what? What
happened? What did you find out?’
Carol stared at her. “Laura.”
The girl didn’t even blink. She merely looked
perplexed.
“Your name is Laura.”
“Who said”
“You did.”
“Laura? No. I don’t think so.”
“Laura Havenswood,” Carol said.
The girl frowned. “It doesn’t ring any bells
at all.”
Surprised, Carol said, “You told me you live
in Shippensburg.”
“Where’s that?”
“About an hour from here.”
“I never heard of it.”
“You live on a farm. There are stone gateposts
to mark the entrance to your father’s property, and there’s a long driveway
flanked by maple trees. That’s what you told me, and I’m sure it’ll turn out to
be just like you said. It’s virtually impossible to answer questions
incorrectly or deceptively while you’re hypnotized. Besides, you don’t have any
reason to deceive me. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain if we
break through this memory block.”
“Maybe I am Laura Havenswood,” the
girl, said. “Maybe what I told you in the trance was true. But I can’t remember
it, and when you tell me who I am, it doesn’t mean a thing to me. Boy, I
thought if I could just remember my name, then everything would fall into
place. But it’s still a blank. Laura, Shippensburg, a farm—I can’t connect with
any of it.”
Carol was still crouched beside the girl’s
chair. She rose and flexed her stiff legs. “I’ve never encountered anything
quite like this. And so far as I know, a reaction like yours hasn’t ever been
reported in any of the psychology journals. Whenever a patient is susceptible
to hypnosis, and whenever a patient can be regressed to a moment of
trauma, there’s always a profound effect. Yet you weren’t touched at all by it.
Very odd. If you remembered while you were under hypnosis, you ought to be able
to remember now. And Just hearing your name ought to open doors for you.”
“But it doesn’t.”
“Strange. .
The girl looked up from the wing chair. “What
now?’
Carol thought for a moment, then said, “I
suppose we ought to have the authorities check out the Hayenswdod identity.”
She went to her desk, picked up the phone,
and called the Harrisburg police.
The police operator referred her to a
detective named Lincoln Werth, who was in charge of a number of conventional
missing-persons files as well as the Jane Doe case. He listened to Carol’s
story with interest, promised to check it out right away, and said he would
call her back the instant he obtained confirmation of the Havenswood identity.
Four hours later, at 3:55, after
Carol’s last appointment for the day, as she and the girl were about to leave
the office and go home, Lincoln Werth rang back as promised. Carol took the
call at her desk, and the girl perched on the edge of the desk, watching,
clearly a bit tense.
“Dr. Tracy,” Werth said, “I’ve been back and
forth on the phone all afternoon with the police in Shippensburg and with the
county sheriff’s office up there.
I’m afraid I have to report it’s all been a
wild-goose chase.”
“There must be some mistake.”
“Nope. We can’t find anyone in Shippensburg
or the surrounding county with the name Havenswood. There’s no telephone listed
for anyone of that name, and-”
“Maybe they just don’t have a phone.”
“Of course, we considered that possibility,”
Werth said. “We didn’t jump to conclusions, believe me. For instance, when we
checked with the power company, we discovered they don’t have a customer named
Havenswood anywhere m Cumberland County, but that didn’t discourage us either.
We figured these people we’re looking for might be Amish. Lots of Amish in that
neck of the woods. If they were Amish, of course, they wouldn’t have
electricity in their house. So next we went to the property-tax rolls at the
county offices up there. What we found was that nobody named Havenswood owns a
house, let alone a farm, in that whole area.”
“They could be tenants,” Carol said.
“Could be. But what I really think they are
is nonexistent. The girl must’ve been lying.”
“Why would she?”
“I don’t know. Maybe the whole amnesia thing
is a hoax. Maybe she’s just an ordinary runaway.”
“No. Definitely not.” Carol looked up at
Laura— no, her name was still Jane—looked into those clear, bottomless blue
eyes. To Werth, she said, “Besides, it just isn’t possible to lie that well or
that blatantly when you’re hypnotized.”
Although Jane could hear only half of the
conversation, she had begun to perceive that the Havenswood name wasn’t going
to check out. Her face clouded. She got up and went to the display shelves to
study the statuettes of Mickey Mouse.
“There is something damned odd about
the whole thing,” Lincoln Werth said.
“Odd?” Carol asked.
“Well, when I passed along the description of
the farm that the girl gave—those stone gateposts, the long driveway with the
maples —and when I said it was off Walnut Bottom Road, the Cumberland County
sheriff and the various Shippensburg
policemen I talked to all recognized the place right off the bat. It actually
does exist.”
“Well, then—”
“But nobody named Havenswood lives there,”
Detective Werth said. “The Ohlmeyer family owns that spread. Really well known
around those parts. Highly thought of, too. Oren Ohlmeyer, his wife, and their
two sons. Never had a daughter, so I’m told. Before Oren owned the farm, it
belonged to his daddy, who bought it seventy years ago. One of the sheriff’s
men went out there and asked the Ohlmeyers if they’d ever heard of a girl named
Laura Havenswood or anything even similar to that. They hadn’t. Didn’t know
anyone fitting our Jane Doe’s description, either.”
“Yet the farm is there, just like she
told us it was.”
“Yeah,” Werth said. “Funny, isn’t it?”
In the Volkswagen, on the way home from the
office, as they drove along the sun-splashed autumn streets, the girl said, “Do
you think I was faking the trance?”
“Heavens, no! You were very deeply
under. And I’m quite sure you aren’t a good enough actress to fake that
business about the fire.”
“Fire?”
“I guess you don’t remember that, either.”
Carol told her about Laura’s screaming fit, the desperate cries for help. “Your
terror was genuine. It came from experience. I’d bet anything on that.”
“I don’t remember any of it. You mean I
really was in a fire once?”
“Could be.” Ahead, a traffic light turned
red. Carol stopped the car and looked at Jane. “You don’t have any physical
scars, so if you were in a fire, you escaped unharmed. Of course, it might be
that you lost someone in a fire, someone you loved very much, and
maybe you weren’t actually in a fire yourself. If that’s the case, then when
you were hypnotized, you might have confused your fear for that person with
fear for your own life. Am I making myself clear?”
“I think I get what you mean. So maybe the
fire— the shock of it—is responsible for my amnesia. And maybe my
parents haven’t shown up to claim me because. . . they’re dead, burned to
death.”
Carol took the girl’s hand. “Don’t worry
about it now, honey. I may be all wrong. I probably am. But I think it’s a
possibility you ought to be prepared for.”
The girl bit her lip, nodded. “The idea
scares me a little. But I don’t exactly feel sad. I mean, I don’t remember my
folks at all, so losing them would almost be like losing strangers.”
Behind them, the driver of a green Datsun
blew his horn.
The light had changed. Carol let go of the
girl’s hand and touched the accelerator. “We’ll probe into the fire during
tomorrow’s session.”
"You still think I am Laura
Havenswood?”
“Well, for the time being, we’ll keep calling
you Jane. But I don’t see why you’d come up with the name Laura if it wasn’t
yours.”.
“The identity didn’t check out,” the girl
reminded her.
Carol shook her head. “That’s not exactly
true. We haven’t proved or disproved the Havenswood identity. All we know for
sure is that you never lived in Shippensburg. But you must have been there at
least once because the farm exists; you’ve seen it, if only in passing.
Apparently, even under hypnosis, even regressed beyond the onset of your
amnesia, your memories are tangled. I don’t know how that’s possible or why.
I’ve never encountered anything quite like it. But we’ll work hard at
untangling them for you.
The problem might lie in the questions I
asked and the way I asked them. We’ll just have to wait and see.”
They rode in silence for a moment, and then
the girl said, “I half hope we don’t get things untangled too quickly. Ever
since you told me about your cabin in the mountains, I’ve really been looking
forward to going up there.”
“Oh, you’ll get to go. Don’t worry about
that.
We’re leaving on Friday, and even if
tomorrow’s session goes well, we won’t be able to untangle this Laura
Havenswood thing that fast. I warned you, this could be a slow,
complicated, frustrating process. I’m surprised we made any progress at all
today, and I’ll be twice as surprised if we make even half as much headway
tomorrow.”
“I guess you’ll be stuck with me for a
while.”
Carol sighed and pretended weariness. “Looks
that way. Oh, you’re such a terrible, terrible, terrible burden. You’re just
too much to bear.” She took one hand off the steering wheel long enough to
clutch her heart in a melodramatic gesture that made Jane giggle. “Too much!
Oh, oh!”
“You know what?” the girl asked.
“What?”
“I like you, too.”
They looked at each other and grinned.
At the next red light, Jane said, “I’ve got a
feeling about the mountains.”
“What’s that?”
“I have this strong feeling that it’s going
to be a lot of fun up there. Really exciting. Something special. A real
adventure.” Her blue eyes were even brighter than usual.
After dinner, Paul suggested they play Scrabble.
He set up the board on the game table in the family room, while Carol explained
the rules to Jane, who couldn’t remember whether or not she had ever played it
before.
After winning the starting lottery, Jane went
first with a twenty-two-point word that took advantage of a double-count square
and the automatic double score for the first word of the game.
BLADE
“Not a bad start,” Paul said. He hoped the
girl would win, because she got such a kick out of little things like that. The
smallest compliment, the most modest triumph delighted her. But he wasn’t going
to throw the game just to please her; she would have to earn it, by God. He was
incapable of giving the match away to anyone; regardless of the kind of game he
was playing, he always put as much effort and commitment into it as he put into
his work. He didn’t indulge in leisure activities; he attacked them.
To Jane, he said,. “I have a hunch you’re the kind of kid who says she’s never
played poker before—and quickly proceeds to win every pot in the game.”
“Can you bet on Scrabble?” Jane asked.
“You can, but we won’t,” Paul said.
“Scared?”
“Terrified. You’d wind up with the house.”
“I’d let you stay.”
“How decent of you.”
“For very low rent.”
“Ah, this child truly has a heart of gold!”
While he bantered with Jane, Carol studied
her own group of letters. “Hey,” she said, “I’ve got a word that ties right in
with Jane’s.” She added LOOD to the B in BLADE, forming BLOOD.
“Judging from your words,” Paul said, “I
guess you two intend to play a cutthroat game.”
Carol and Jane groaned dutifully at his bad
joke and refilled their letter trays from the stock in the lid of the game box.
To Paul’s surprise, when he looked at his own
seven letters, he saw that he had a word with which to continue the morbid
theme that had been established. He added EATH to the D at the end of BLOOD,
creating DEATH.
“Weird,” Carol said.
“Here’s something weirder still,” Jane said,
taking her second turn by adding OMB to the T in DEATH.
BLADE
L
O
O
DEATH
O
M
B
Paul stared at the board. He was suddenly
uneasy.
What were the odds that the first four words
in a game would be so closely related in theme? Ten thousand to one? No. It had
to be much higher than that. A hundred thousand to one? A million to one?
Carol looked up from her unusual letters.
“You aren’t going to believe this.” She added three letters to the
board.
BLADE
KILL
O
O
DEATH
O
M
B
“Kill’?” Paul said.. “Oh, come on. Enough’s
enough. Take it away and make another word.”
“I can’t,” Carol said. “That’s all I have.
The rest of my letters are useless.”
“But you could have put ‘lik’ above the ‘e’
in
‘blade,” Paul said. “You could have spelled
‘like’ instead of ‘kill.”
“Sure, I could have done that, but I’d have
gotten fewer points if! had. You see? There’s no square with a double-letter
score up there.”
As he listened to Carol’s explanation, Paul
felt strange. Bitterly cold inside. Hollow. As if he were balancing on a
tightrope and knew he was going to fall and fall and fall...
He was gripped by déjà vu, by such a
strikingly powerful awareness of having lived through this scene before that,
for a moment, his heart seemed to stop beating. Yet nothing like this had ever
happened in any other Scrabble game he’d ever played. So why was he so certain
he had witnessed this very thing on a previous occasion? Even as he asked
himself that question, he realized what the answer was. The seizure of déjà vu
wasn’t in reference to the words on the Scrabble board; not directly anyway.
The thing that was so frighteningly familiar to him was the unusual,
soul-shaking feeling that the coincidental appearance of those words
aroused in him; the iciness that came from within rather than from without; the
awful hollowness deep in his guts; the sickening sensation of teetering on a
high wire, with only infinite darkness below. He had felt exactly the same way
in the attic last week, when the mysterious hammering sound had seemed to issue
out of the thin air in front of his face, when each thunk! had sounded
as if it were coming from a sledge and anvil in another dimension of time and
space. That was how he felt now, at the Scrabble board: as if he were
confronted with something extraordinary, unnatural, perhaps even supernatural.
To Carol, he said, “Listen, why don’t you
just take those last three letters off the board, put them back in the box,
choose three brand-new letters, and make some other word besides ‘kill.”
He could see that his suggestion startled
her.
She said, “Why should I do that?”
Paul frowned. “Blade, blood, death, tomb,
kill— what kind of words are they for a nice, friendly, peaceable game of
Scrabble?”
She stared at him for a moment, and her
piercing eyes made him a bit uncomfortable. “It’s only coincidence,” she said,
clearly puzzled by his tenseness.
“I know it’s only coincidence,” he
said, though he didn’t know anything of the sort. He was simply un
able to explain rationally the eerie feeling
that the words on the board were the work of some force far stronger than mere
coincidence, something worse. “It still gives me the creeps,” he said lamely.
He turned to Jane, seeking an ally. “Doesn’t it give you the creeps?’
“Yeah. It does. A little,” the girl agreed. “But
it’s also kind of fascinating. I wonder how long we can keep going with words
that fit this pattern.”
“I wonder, too,” Carol said. Playfully, she
slapped Paul’s shoulder. “You know what your trouble is, babe? You don’t have
any scientific curiosity. Now come on. It’s your turn.”
After putting DEATH on the board, he hadn’t
replenished his supply of letter tiles. He drew four of the small wooden
squares from the lid of the game box, put them on the rack in front of him.
And froze.
Oh God.
He was on that tightrope again, teetering
over a great abyss.
“Well?” Carol asked.
Coincidence. It had to be just
coincidence.
“Well?”
He looked up at her.
“What have you got?” she asked.
Numb, he shifted his eyes to the girl.
She was hunched over the table, as eager as Carol
to hear his response, anxious to see if the macabre pattern would continue.
Paul lowered his eyes to the row of letters
on the wooden rack. The word was still there. Impossible. But it was there
anyway, possible or not.
“Paul?”
He moved so quickly and unexpectedly that
Carol and Jane jumped. He scooped up the letters on his rack and nearly flung
them back into the lid of the box. He swept the five offensive words off the
board before anyone could protest, and he returned those nineteen tiles to the box
with all the others.
“Paul, for heaven’s sake!”
“We’ll start a new game,” he said. “Maybe
those words didn’t bother you, but they bothered me. I’m here to relax. If I
want to hear about blood and death and killing, I can switch on the news.”
Carol said, “What word did you have?”
“I don’t know,” he lied. “I didn’t work with
the letters to see. Come on. Let’s start all over.”
“You did have a word,” she said.
“No.”
“It looked to me like you did,” Jane said.
“Open up,” Carol said.
“All right, all right. I had a word. It was
obscene. Not something a gentleman like me would use in a refined game of
Scrabble, with ladies present.”
Jane’s eyes sparkled mischievously. “Really?
Tell us. Don’t be stuffy.”
“Stuffy? Have you no manners, young lady?”
“None!”
“Have you no modesty?”
“Nope.”
“Are you just a common broad?”
“Common,” she said, nodding rapidly. “Common
to the core. So tell us what word you had.”
“Shame, shame, shame,” he said. Gradually, he
cajoled them into dropping their inquiry. They started a new game. This time
all the words were ordinary, and they did not come in any unsettling, related
order.
Later, in bed, he made love to Carol. He
wasn’t particularly horny. He just wanted to be as close to her as he could
get.
Afterwards, when the murmured love talk
finally faded into a companionable silence, she said, “What was your
word?”
“Hmmmm?” he said, pretending not to know what
she meant.
“Your obscene word in the Scrabble game.
Don’t try to tell me you’ve forgotten what it was.”
“Nothing important.”
She laughed. “After everything we just did in
this bed, surely you don’t think I need to be sheltered!”
“I didn’t have an obscene word.” Which was
the truth. “I didn’t really have any word at all.” Which was a lie. “It’s just
that.. .I thought those first five words on the board were bad for Jane.”
“Bad for her?”
“Yes. I mean, you told me it’s quite possible
she lost one or both of her parents in a fire. She might be on the brink of
learning about or remembering a terrible tragedy in her recent past. Tonight
she just needed to relax, to laugh a bit. How could the game have been fun for
her if the words on the board started to remind her that her parents might be
dead?”
Carol turned on her side, raised herself up a
bit, leaned over him, her bare breasts grazing his chest, and stared into his
eyes. “is that really the only reason you were so upset?”
“Don’t you think I was right? Did I
overreact?”
“Maybe you did. Maybe you didn’t. It was Creepy.”
She kissed his nose. “You know why I love you so much?”
“Because I’m such a great lover?”
“You are, but that’s not why I love you.”
“Because I have tight buns?”
“Not that.”
“Because I keep my fingernails so neat and
clean?”
“Not that.”
“I give up.”
“You’re so damned sensitive, so caring about
other people. How typical of my Paul to worry about the Scrabble game being fun
for Jane. That’s why I love you.”
“I thought it was my hazel eyes.”
“Nah.”
“My classic profile.”
“Are you kidding?”
“Or the way my third toe on my left foot lays
half under the second toe.”
“Oh, I’d forgotten about that. Hmmmmmmmm.
You’re right. That’s why I love you. Not because you’re sensitive. It’s
your toes that drive me wild.”
Their teasing led to cuddling, and the
cuddling led to kissing, and the kissing led to passion again. She reached her
peak only a few seconds before he spurted deep within her, and when they
finally parted for the night, he felt pleasantly wrung out.
Nevertheless, she was asleep before he was.
He stared at the dark ceiling of the dark bedroom and thought about the
Scrabble game.
BLADE, BLOOD, DEATH, TOMB, KILL...
He thought about the word he had hidden from
Carol and Jane, the word that had compelled him to end the game and start
another. After adding EATH to the D in BLOOD, he’d been left with just three letter
tiles on his rack: X, U, and C. The X and the
U had played no part in what was to follow.
But when he had drawn four new letters, they had gone disconcertingly well with
the C. First he’d picked up an A, then an R. And he had known what was going to
happen. He hadn’t wanted to continue; he’d considered throwing all the tiles
back into the box at that moment, for he dreaded seeing the word that he knew
the last two letters would spell. But he hadn’t ended it there. He had been too
curious to stop when he should have stopped. He had drawn a third tile, which
had been an 0, and then a fourth, L.
C...A. ..R...O...L...
BLADE, BLOOD, DEATH, TOMB, KILL, CAROL.
Of course, even if he was able to fit it in,
he couldn’t put CAROL on the board, for it was a proper name, and the rules
didn’t allow the use of proper names. But that was a moot point. The important
thing was that her name had been spelled out so neatly, so boldly on his rack
of letters that it was uncanny. He had drawn the letters in their proper order,
for God’s sake! What were the odds against that?
It seemed to be an omen. A warning that
something was going to happen to Carol. Just as Grace Mitowski’s two nightmares
had turned out to be prophetic.
He thought about the other strange events
that had transpired recently: the unnaturally violent lightning strikes at
Alfred O’Brian’s office; the hammering sound that had shaken the house; the
intruder on the rear lawn during the thunderstorm. He sensed that all of it was
tied together. But for Christ’s sake, how?
BLADE, BLOOD.
DEATH, TOMB.
KILL, CAROL.
If the series of words on the Scrabble tiles
had constituted a prophetic warning, what was he supposed to do about it? The
omen, if it was an omen, was too vague to have any value. There was
nothing specific to guard against. He couldn’t protect Carol until he knew from
which direction the danger was coming. A car wreck? A plane crash. A mugger?
Cancer? It could be anything. He could see nothing to be gained by telling
Carol that her name had turned up on his rack of Scrabble tiles; there was
nothing she could do, either, nothing except worry about it.
He didn’t want to worry her.
Instead, lying in the darkness, feeling icy
even under the covers, he worried for her.
At two o’clock in the morning, Grace was still
reading in the study. There wasn’t any point in going to bed for at least
another hour or two. The events of the last week had turned her into an
insomniac.
The day just past had been relatively
uneventful.
Aristophanes was still behaving oddly—hiding
from her, sneaking about, watching her when he thought she didn’t know he was
there—but he hadn’t torn up any more pillows or furniture, and he had used his
litter box as he was supposed to do, which were encouraging signs. She hadn’t
received any more telephone calls from the man who had pretended to be Leonard,
and for that she was grateful. Yes, it had been pretty much an ordinary day.
And yet...
She was still tense and unable to sleep
because she sensed that she was in the eye of the hurricane. She sensed that
the peace and quiet in her house were deceptive, that thunder and lightning
raged on all sides of her, just beyond the range of her hearing and just out of
sight. She expected to be plunged back into the storm at any moment, and that
expectation made it impossible for her to relax.
She heard a furtive sound and glanced up from
the novel she was reading.
Aristophanes appeared at the open study door,
peering in from the hallway. Only his elegant Siamese head was visible as he
craned it cautiously around the doorframe.
Their eyes met.
For an instant, Grace felt that she was not
looking into the eyes of a dumb animal. They seemed to contain intelligence.
Wisdom. Experience. More than mere animal intent and purpose.
Aristophanes hissed.
His eyes were cold. Twin balls of
crystal-clear, blue-green ice.
“What do you want, cat?”
He broke the staring contest. He turned away
from her with haughty indifference, padded past the doorway, and went softly
down the hail, pretending that he hadn’t been spying on her, even though they
both knew he had been doing exactly that.
Spying? she thought. Am I crazy? Who would a
cat be spying for? Catsylvania? Great Kitten? Purrsia?
She could think of other puns, but none of
them brought a smile to her lips.
Instead, she sat with the book on her lap,
wondering about her sanity.
9
THURSDAY AFTERNOON.
The office drapes were tightly closed as
usual. The light from the two floor lamps was golden, diffuse. Mickey Mouse was
still smiling broadly in all his many incarnations.
Carol and Jane sat in the wing chairs.
The girl slipped into a trance with only a
little assistance from Carol. Most patients were more susceptible to hypnosis
the second time than they had been the first, and Jane was no exception.
Again using the imaginary wristwatch, Carol
turned the hands of time backwards and regressed Jane into the past. This time
the girl didn’t need two minutes to get beyond her amnesia. In only twenty or
thirty seconds, she reached a point at which memories existed for her.
She twitched and suddenly sat up
ramrod-straight in her chair. Her eyes popped open like the eyes on a doll; she
was looking through Carol. Her face was twisted with terror.
“Laura?” Carol asked.
Both of the girl’s hands flew up to her
throat. She clutched herself, gasping, gagging, grimacing in pain. She appeared
to be reliving the same traumatic experience that had panicked her during
yesterday’s sessions, but today she did not scream.
“You can’t feel the fire,” Carol told her.
“There is no pain, honey. Relax. Be calm. You can’t smell the smoke, either. It
doesn’t bother you at all. Breathe easily, normally. Be calm and relax.”
The girl didn’t obey. She quivered and broke
out in a sweat. She retched repeatedly, dryly, violently, yet almost silently.
Afraid that she had lost control again, Carol
redoubled her efforts to soothe her patient, without success.
Jane began to gesture wildly, her hands
cutting and stabbing and tugging .and hammering at the air.
Abruptly, Carol realized the girl was trying to
talk, but for some reason had lost her voice.
Tears welled up and slid down Jane’s face.
She was moving her mouth without the slightest result, desperately trying to
force out words that refused to come. In addition to the terror in her eyes,
there was now frustration.
Carol quickly fetched a notebook and a
felt-tipped pen from her desk. She put the notebook on Jane’s lap and pressed
the pen into her hand.
“Write it for me, honey.”
The girl squeezed the pen so hard that her
knuckles were white and nearly as sharp as the knuckles on a skeleton’s
fleshless hand. She looked down at the notebook. She stopped retching, but she
continued to quiver.
Carol crouched beside the wing chair, where
she could see the notebook. “What is it you want to say?”
Her hand shaking like that of a palsied old
woman, Jane hurriedly scrawled two words that were barely legible: Help me.
“Why do you need help?”
Again: Help
me.
“Why can’t you speak?”
Head.
“Be more specific.”
My head.
“What about your head?”
The girl’s hand began to form a letter, then
jumped down one line and made another false start, jumped to a third line—as if
she couldn’t figure out how to express what she wanted to say. At last, in a
frenzy, she started slashing at the paper with the felt-tipped pen, making a meaningless
crosshatching of black lines.
“Stop it!” Carol said. “You will relax,
dammit. Be calm.”
Jane stopped slashing at the paper. She was
silent, staring down at the notebook on her lap.
Carol tore off the smeared page and threw it
on the floor. “Okay. Now you’re going to answer my questions calmly and as
fully as you can. What is your name?”
Millie.
Carol stared at the handwritten name,
wondering what had happened to Laura Havenswood. “Millie?
Are you sure that’s your name?” Millicent
Parker.
“Where is Laura?”
Who’s Laura?
Carol stared at the girl’s drawn face. The
perspiration was beginning to dry on her porcelain-smooth skin. Her blue eyes
were blank, unfocused. Her mouth was slack.
Carol abruptly flashed a hand past the girl’s
face. Jane didn’t flinch. She wasn’t faking the trance.
“Where do you live, Millicent?”
Harrisburg.
“Right here in town. What’s your address?”
Front Street.
“Along the river? Do you know the number?”
The girl wrote it down.
“What’s your father’s name?”
Randolph Parker.
“What’s your mother’s name?”
The pen made a meaningless squiggle on the
notebook page.
“What’s your mother’s name?” Carol repeated.
The girl surrendered to a new series of
spasmic tremors. She retched soundlessly and put her hands to her throat once
more. The felt-tipped pen made a black mark on the underside of her chin.
Apparently, the mere mention of her mother
frightened her. That was territory that would have to be explored, though not
right now.
Carol talked her down, calmed her, and asked
a new question. “How old are you, Millie?”
Tomorrow’s my birthday.
“Is it really? How old will you be?”
I won’t make it.
“What won’t you make?”
Sixteen.
“Are you fifteen now?”
Yes.
“And you think you won’t live to be sixteen?
Is that it?”
Won’t live.
“Why not?”
The sheen of sweat had nearly evaporated from
the
girl’s face, but again perspiration popped
out along
her hairline.
“Why won’t you live to see your birthday?”
Carol persisted.
As before, the girl used the felt-tipped pen
to slash angrily at the notebook.
“Stop that,” Carol said firmly. “Relax and be
calm and answer my question.” She tore the ruined page out of the book and
tossed it aside, then said, “Why won’t you live to see your sixteenth birthday,
Millie?”
Head.
So we’re back to this, Carol thought. She
said,
“What about your head? What’s wrong with it?”
Cut off.
Carol stared at those two words for a moment,
then looked up at the girl’s face.
Millie-Jane was struggling to remain calm, as
Carol had told her she must. But her eyes jiggled nervously, and there was
horror in them. Her lips were utterly colorless, tremulous. Beneath the
rivulets of sweat that coursed down her forehead, her skin was waxy and mealy
white.
She continued to scribble frantically in the
note-
book, but all she wrote was the same thing
over and over again: Cut cut off, cut off cut off... She was bearing down on
the page with such great pressure that the head of the felt-tipped pen was
squashed into shapeless mush.
My God, Carol thought, this is like a live
report from the bottom of Hell.
Laura Havenswood. Millicent Parker. One
girl screaming in pain as fire consumed her, the other a victim of
decapitation. What did either of those girls have to do with Jane Doe? She couldn’t
be both of them. Perhaps she wasn’t either of them. Were they people she had
known? Or were they only figments of her imagination?
What in Christ’s name is happening here?
Carol wondered.
She put her own hand over the girl’s
writing hand and stilled the squeaking pen. Speaking gently, rhythmically, she
told Millie-Jane that everything was all right, that she was perfectly safe,
and that she must relax.
The girl’s eyes stopped jiggling. She
sagged back in her chair.
“All right,” Carol said. “I think that’s
enough for today, honey.”
Employing the imaginary wristwatch, she
brought the girl forward in time.
For a few seconds everything went well,
but then, without warning, the girl erupted from her chair, knocking the
notebook off her lap and flinging the pen across the room. Her pale face
flushed red, and her placid expression gave way to a look of pure rage.
Carol rose from beside the girl’s chair
and stepped in front of her. “Honey, what’s wrong?”
The girl’s eyes were wild. She began to shout
with such force that she sprayed Carol with spittle. “Shit! The bitch did it!
The rotten, goddamn bitch!”
The voice wasn’t Jane’s.
It wasn’t Laura’s either.
It was a new voice, a third one, with its own
special character, and Carol had a hunch it didn’t belong to Millicent Parker,
the mute. She suspected that an entirely new identity had surfaced.
The girl stood very stiff and straight, her
hands fisted at her sides, staring off into infinity. Her face was distorted by
anger. “The stinking bitch did it! She did it to me again!”
The girl continued to shout at the top of her
voice, and half of the words she blurted out were obscene. Carol tried to
soothe her, but this time it wasn’t easy. For at least a minute the girl
continued to wail and curse. At last, however, at Carol’s urging, she got
control of herself. She stopped shouting, but there was still anger in her
face.
Holding the girl by the shoulders, face to
face with her, Carol said, “What’s your name?’
“Linda.”
“What’s your last name?”
“Bektermann.”
It was yet another identity, as Carol had
thought. She had the girl spell the name.
Then: “Where
do you live, Linda?”
“Second Street.”
“In Harrisburg?”
“Yes.”
Carol asked for the exact address, and the
girl responded. ft was only a few blocks from the Front Street address that
Millicent Parker had provided.
“What’s your father’s name, Linda?”
“Herbert Bektermann.”
“What’s your mother’s name?”
That question had the same effect on Linda as
it had had on Millie. She rapidly became agitated and began to shout again.
“The bitch! Oh, God, what she did to me. The slimy, rotten bitch! I hate
her. I hate her!”
Chilled by the combination of fury and agony
in the girl’s tortured voice, Carol quickly quieted her.
Then: “How
old are you, Linda?”
“Tomorrow’s my birthday.”
Carol frowned. “Am I talking to Millicent
now?”
“Who’s Millicent?”
“Is this still Linda I’m talking to?’
“Yes.”
“And your birthday is tomorrow?”
“Yes.”
“How old will you be?”
“I won’t make it.”
Carol blinked. “You mean you won’t live to
see your birthday?”
"That’s right.”
“Is it your sixteenth birthday?”
“Yes.”
“You’re fifteen now?”
“Yes.”
“Why are you worried about dying?”
“Because I know I will.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I already am.”
“You’re already dying?”
“Dead.”
“You’re already dead?”
“I will be.”
“Please be specific. Are you telling me that
you’re already dead? Or are you saying that you’re merely afraid you’re going
to die sometime soon?’
“Yes.”
“Which is it?”
“Both.”
Carol felt as if she were in the middle of a
tea party at the Mad Hatter’s house.
“How do you think you’re going to die,
Linda?”
“She’ll kill me.”
“Who?”
“The bitch.”
“Your mother?”
The girl doubled over and clutched at her
side, as if she had been struck. She screamed, turned, staggered two steps, and
fell with a crash. On the floor she still clutched her side, and she kicked her
legs, writhed. She was obviously in unendurable pain. It was only imaginary
pain, of course, but to the girl it was indistinguishable from the real thing.
Frightened, Carol knelt beside her, held her
hand, and urged her to be calm. When the girl eventually relaxed, Carol quickly
brought her all the way back to the present and out of the trance.
Jane blinked, stared up at Carol, and put one
hand on the floor beside her, as if testing the truth of what her eyes told
her. “Wow, what am I doing down here?”
Carol helped her to her feet. “I suppose you
don’t remember?”
“No. Did I tell you anything more about
myself?’
“No. I don’t think so. You told me you were a
girl named Millicent Parker, and then you told me you were a girl named Linda
Bektermann, but obviously you can’t be both of them and Laura,
too. So I suspect that you aren’t any of them.”
“I don’t think so, either,” Jane said. “Those
two new names don’t mean anything more to me than
Laura Havenswood did. But who are those
people?
Where did I get their names, and why did I
tell you I was any of them?”
“I’ll be damned if I know,” Carol said. “But
sooner or later, we’ll figure it out. We’ll get to the bottom of all this,
kiddo. I promise you that.”
But what in God’s name will we find at the
bottom, down there in the dark? Carol wondered. Will it be something we’ll wish
we’d left buried forever?
***
Thursday afternoon, Grace Mitowski worked in
the rose garden behind her house. The day was warm and clear, and she felt the
need for some exercise. Besides, in the garden she wouldn’t be able to hear the
telephone ringing and wouldn’t be tempted to answer it. Which was fine, because
she wasn’t psychologically prepared to answer the phone just yet; she hadn’t
decided how to deal with the hoaxer the next time he called and pretended that
he was her long-dead husband.
Because of last week’s torrential rains, the
roses were past their prime. The last flowers of the season should have been at
the peak of their beauty right now, but many of the big blooms had lost a fifth
or even a fourth of their petals under the lashing of the wind-whipped rain.
Nevertheless, the garden was still a colorful, cheery sight.
She had let Aristophanes out for some
exercise.
She kept an eye on him, intending to call him
back the moment he headed off the property. She was determined to keep him away
from whoever had poisoned or drugged him. But he didn’t seem to be in a
rambling mood; he stayed nearby, creeping among the roses, stirring up a moth
or two and chasing them with catlike single-mindedness.
Grace was on her hands and knees in front of
a row of intermingled yellow and crimson and orange flowers, hand-spading the
earth with a trowel, when someone said, “You have a magnificent garden.”
Startled, she looked up and saw a thin,
jaundice-skinned man in a rumpled blue suit that hadn’t been in fashion for
many years. His shirt and tie were hopelessly out of style, too. He looked as
if he had stepped out of a photograph taken in the 1940s. He had thinning hair
the color of summer dust, and his eyes were an unusual shade of soft brown,
almost beige. His face was composed entirely of narrow features and sharp
angles that gave him a look halfway between that of a hawk and that of a
parsimonious moneylender in a Charles Dickens novel. He appeared to be in his
early or middle fifties.
Grace glanced at the gate in the white board
fence that separated her property from the street. The gate was standing wide
open. Evidently, the man had been strolling by, had seen the roses through a
gap in the poplar-tree hedge that stood on the outside of the fence, and had decided
to come in and have a closer look.
His smile was warm, and there was kindness in
his eyes, and he seemed not to be intruding, even though he was. “You must have
two dozen varieties of roses here.”
“Three dozen,” she said.
“Truly magnificent,” he said, nodding
approval.
His voice wasn’t thin and sharp like the rest
of him. It was deep, mellow, friendly, and would have seemed more fitting if it
had issued from a brawny, hearty fellow half again this man’s size. “You take
care of the entire garden yourself?”
Grace sat back on her heels, still holding
the trowel in one gloved hand. “Sure. I enjoy it. And somehow. . . it just
wouldn’t be my garden if I hired someone to help me with it.”
“Exactly!” the stranger said. “Yes, I can
understand how you feel.”
“Are you new in the neighborhood?” Grace
asked.
“No, no. Used to live just a block from here,
but that was a long, long time ago.” He took a deep breath and smiled again.
“Ah, the wonderful aroma of roses!
Nothing else smells half so pretty. Yes,
you’ve got
a superb garden. Really superb.”
“Thank you.”
He snapped his fingers as a thought occurred
to him. “I ought to write something about this. It might make a first-rate
human-interest piece. This fantasy-land tucked away in an ordinary backyard.
Yes, I’m sure it would be just the thing. A nice change of pace for me.”
“Are you a writer?”
“Reporter,” he said, still taking deep
breaths and savoring the aroma of the blooms.
“Are you with a local paper?”
“The Morning News. Name’s Palmer Wainwright”
“Grace Mitowski.”
“I hoped you might recognize my byline,”
Wainwright said, grinning.
“Sorry. I don’t read the Morning News. I
take the
Patriot-News from the delivery boy every morning.” “Ah, well,” he
said, shrugging, “that’s a good paper, too. But of course, if you don’t read
the Morning News, you never saw my story about the Bektermann case.”
As Grace realized that Wainwright intended to
hang around awhile, she got off her haunches, stood up, and flexed her rapidly
stiffening legs. “The Bektermann case? That sounds familiar.”
“All the papers reported it, of course. But I
did a five-part series. Good stuff, even if I do say so myself. I got a
Pulitzer nomination for it. Did you know that? An honest-to-God Pulitzer
nomination.”
“Really? Why, that’s something,” Grace said, not
sure if she should take him seriously but not wanting to offend him. “That is really
something. Imagine. A Pulitzer nomination.”
It seemed to her that the conversation had
suddenly taken an odd turn. It wasn’t casual any longer. She sensed that
Wainwright had come into the yard not to admire her roses and not to have a
friendly chat, but to tell her, a complete stranger, about his Pulitzer
nomination.
“Didn’t win,” Wainwright said. “But the way I
look at it, a nomination is almost as good as the prize itself. I mean, out of
the tens of thousands of newspaper articles that’re published in a year, only a
handful are up for the prize.”
“Refresh my memory, if you will,” Grace said.
“What was the Bektermann case about?”
He laughed good-naturedly and shook his head.
“Wasn’t about what I thought it was about. That’s for damned sure. I
wrote it up as a tangled, Freudian
puzzle. You know—the iron-willed father, with
perhaps an unnatural attraction for his own daughter, the mother with a
drinking problem, the poor girl caught in the middle. The victimized young girl
subjected to hideous psychological pressures beyond her understanding, beyond
her tolerance, until at last she simply—snapped. That’s how I saw it.
That’s how I wrote it up. I thought I was a brilliant detective, digging to the
deepest roots of the Bektermann tragedy.
But all I ever saw was the window-dressing.
The real story was far stranger than anything I ever imagined. Hell, it was too
strange for any serious reporter to risk handling it. No reputable paper would
have printed it as news. If had known the truth, and if! had somehow
gotten it published, I’d have destroyed my career.”
What the devil’s going on? Grace wondered. He
seems obsessed with telling me about this in detail, compelled to tell
me, even though he’s never even seen me before. Is this life imitating
art—Coleridge’s poem reset in a rose garden? Am I the partygoer and Wainwright
the Ancient Mariner?
As she looked into Wainwright’s beige eyes,
she suddenly realized how alone she was, even here in the yard. Her property
was ringed by trees, sheltered, private.
“Was it a murder case?” she asked.
“Was and is,” Wainwright said. “It didn’t end
with the Bektermanns. It’s still going on. This damned, endless pursuit. It’s
still going on, and it’s got to be stopped this time around. That’s why I’m
here. I’ve come to tell you that your Carol is in the middle of it. Caught in
the middle. You’ve got to help her. Get her out of the girl’s way.”
Grace gaped at him, reluctant to believe that
she
had heard what she knew she had heard.
“There are certain forces, dark and powerful
forces,” Wainwright said calmly, “that want to see— Shrieking angrily,
Aristophanes sprang at Wainwright with berserk passion. He landed on the man’s
chest and scrambled onto his face.
Grace screamed and jumped back in fright.
Wainwright staggered to one side, grabbed the
cat with both hands, and tried unsuccessfully to wrench it off his face.
“Ari!” Grace cried. “Stop it!”
Aristophanes had his claws in the man’s neck
and was biting his cheek.
Wainwright wasn’t screaming as he ought to
have been. He was eerily silent as he wrestled with the cat, even though the
creature seemed determined to tear off his face.
Grace moved toward Wainwright, wanting to
help, not knowing what to do.
The cat was squealing. It bit off a gobbet of
flesh from Wainwright’s cheek.
Oh Jesus, no!
Grace moved in quickly, raising the trowel,
but hesitated. She was afraid of hitting the man instead of the cat.
Wainwright suddenly turned away from her and
stumbled through the rose bushes, past white and yellow blooms, the cat still
clinging to him. He walked into a waist-high hedge, fell through it, onto the
lawn On the other side, out of sight.
Grace hurried to the end of the hedgerow,
stepped around it, heart hammering, and discovered that
Wainwright had vanished. Only the cat was
there, and it bolted past her, sprinted across the garden, up the back porch
steps, and into the house through the half-open rear door.
Where was Wainwright? Had he crawled away,
dazed, wounded? Had he passed out in some sheltered corner of the garden,
bleeding to death?
The yard contained half a dozen shrubs large
and dense enough to conceal the body of a man Wainwright’s size. She looked
around all of them, but she could find no trace of the reporter.
She looked toward the garden gate that led to
the street. No. He couldn’t have gone that far without drawing her attention.
Frightened, confused, Grace blinked at the
sun-dappled garden, trying to understand.
The Harrisburg telephone book contained
neither a listing for Mr. Randolph Parker nor one for Herbert Bektermann. Carol
was perplexed but not surprised.
After she saw her final patient of the day,
she and Jane drove to the address on Front Street where Millicent Parker had
claimed to live. It was a huge, impressive Victorian mansion, but it hadn’t
been anyone's home for a long time. The front lawn had been paved over for a
parking lot. There was a small, tasteful sign by the entrance drive:
MAUGHAM
& CRICHTON, INC.
A
MEDICAL CORPORATION
Many years ago, this portion of Front Street
had been one of the most elegant neighborhoods in Pennsylvania’s capital city.
During the past couple of decades, however, many of the riverfront boulevard’s
grand old houses had been razed to make room for sterile, modem office
buildings. A few of the rambling houses had been preserved, at least after a
fashion— the exteriors beautifully restored, the interiors gutted and converted
to various commercial uses. Farther north, there was still a section of Front
Street that was a desirable residential area, but not here, not where Millicent
Parker had sent them.
Maugham & Crichton was a group medical
practice that included seven physicians: two general internists and five
specialists. Carol had a chat with the receptionist, a henna-haired woman named
Polly, who told her that none of the doctors was named Parker. Likewise, no one
of that name was employed as a nurse or as a member of the clerical staff.
Furthermore, Maugham & Crichton had been at their current address for
nearly seventeen years.
It had occurred to Carol that Jane might once
have been a patient of one of Maugham & Crichton’s physicians, and that her
subconscious mind had made use of the firm’s address to flesh out the Millicent
Parker identity. But Polly, who had worked for Maugham & Crichton ever
since they’d opened their doors, was sure she had never seen the girl. However,
intrigued by Jane’s amnesia and sympathetic by nature, Polly agreed to check
the files to see if Maugham & Crichton had ever treated anyone named Laura
Havenswood, Millicent Parker, or Linda Bektermann. It was a fruitless search;
none of those names appeared in the patient records.
***
Grace stepped through the gate, into the
street, and looked both ways. There was no sign of Palmer Wainwright.
She returned to her own backyard, closed and
latched the gate, and walked toward the house.
Wainwright was sitting on the porch steps,
waiting for her.
She stopped fifteen feet from him, amazed,
confused.
He got up from the steps.
“Your face,” she said numbly.
His face was unscarred.
He smiled as if nothing had happened and took
two steps toward her. “Grace—”
“The cat,” she said. “I saw your cheek.. .
your neck. . . it’s claws tore out. .
“Listen,” he said, taking another step toward
her, “there are certain forces, dark and powerful forces, that want to see this
played out the wrong way. Dark forces that thrive on tragedy. They want to see
it end in senseless violence and blood. That mustn’t be allowed to happen,
Grace. Not again. You’ve got to keep Carol out of the girl’s way, for her sake
and for the sake of the girl, too.”
Grace gaped at him. “Who the hell are you?”
“Who are you?” Wainwright asked,
raising one eyebrow quizzically. “That is the important question right
now. You aren’t only who you think you are. You aren’t only Grace Mitowski.”
He’s mad, she thought. Or I’m mad. Or we both
are. Stark, raving mad.
She said, “You’re the one on the phone.
You’re the creep who imitates Leonard’s voice.”
“No,” he said. “I am—”
“No wonder Ari attacked you. You’re the one
who’s been giving him drugs or poison or something like that. You’re the one,
and he knew.”
But what about the facial wounds, the gouged
neck? she asked herself. How in the name of God did those injuries heal so
quickly?
How?
She pushed those thoughts out of her mind,
refused to think about such things. She must have been mistaken. She must have
imagined that Ari had actually hurt the man.
“Yeah,” she said, “you’re the one who’s
behind all of these weird things that’ve been happening. Get off my property,
you son of a bitch.”
“Grace, there are forces aligned. . .“ He
looked no different now from the way he had looked when he’d first spoken to
her, several minutes ago. He hadn’t looked crazed then; he didn’t look crazed
now. He didn’t look dangerous, and yet he continued to babble about dark
forces. “. . . good and evil, right and wrong. You’re on the right side, Grace.
But the cat— ah, the cat’s a different story. At all times, you must be wary of
the cat.”
“Get out of my way,” she said.
He took a step toward her.
She slashed at him with the gardening trowel,
missing his face by just an inch or two. She slashed again and again and again,
cutting only empty air, not really wanting to cut anything else unless she had
no choice, just hoping to keep him at bay until she could slip around him, for
he was between her and the house. And then she was around him; she
turned and ran for the kitchen door, painfully aware that her legs were old and
arthritic. She went only a few steps before she realized she shouldn’t have
turned her back on the lunatic, and she wheeled to confront him, gasping,
certain that he was leaping toward her, perhaps with a knife in his hand— But
he was gone.
Vanished. Again.
He hadn’t had time to reach any of the shrubs
that were large enough to conceal a man, not during the split second her back
had been turned. Even if he had been a much younger man than he was, in the
very best condition, a trained runner—even then he couldn’t have gone more than
halfway to the gate in such a short time.
So where was he?
Where was he?
From the offices of Maugham & Crichton on
Front Street, Carol and Jane drove a few blocks to the Second Street address
that was supposed to be the home of Linda Bektermann. It was in a good
neighborhood; a lovely French country house, at least fifty years old, in fine
condition. No one was at home, but the name on the mailbox was Nicholson, not
Bektermann.
They rang the bell at the house next door and
talked to a neighbor, Jean Gunther, who confirmed that the French country place
was owned and occupied by the Nicholson family.
“My husband and I have lived here for six
years,”
Mrs. Gunther said, “and the Nicholsons were
next door when we moved in. I think I once heard them say they’d lived in that
house since 1965.”
The name Bektermann meant nothing to Jean
Gunther.
In the car again, on the way home, Jane said,
“I’m really a lot of trouble for you.”
“Nonsense,” Carol said. “I kind of enjoy
playing detective. Besides, if I can help you break through your memory block,
if I can uncover the truth behind all the sleight-of-hand tricks that your
subconscious is playing, then I’ll be able to write about this case for any psychology
journal I choose. It’ll definitely make my name in the profession. I might even
wind up with a book out of it. So you see, because of you, kiddo, I could
become rich and famous some day.”
“When you’re rich and famous, will you still
talk to me?” the girl teased.
“Certainly. Of course, you’ll have to make an
appointment a week in advance.”
They grinned at each other.
***
Using the kitchen phone, Grace called the
offices of
the Morning News.
The switchboard operator at the newspaper
didn’t have an extension number listed for Palmer Wainwright. She said, “So far
as I know, he don’t even work here. And I’m sure he’s no reporter. Maybe one of
the new copy editors or somebody like that.”
“Could you connect me with the managing
editor’s office?” Grace asked.
“That would be Mr. Quincy,” the operator
said. She buzzed the proper extension.
Quincy wasn’t in his office, and his
secretary didn’t know whether or not the paper employed a man named Palmer
Wainwright. “I’m new here,” she said apologetically. “I’ve only been Mr.
Quincy’s secretary since Monday, so I don’t know everybody yet. If you’ll leave
your name and number, I’ll have Mr. Quincy return your call.”
Grace gave her the number and said, “Tell him
Dr. Grace Mitowski wishes to speak with him and that I’ll only need a few
minutes of his time.” She seldom used the honorific in front of her name, but
it came in handy in cases like this, for a doctor’s phone calls were always returned.
“Is this an emergency, Dr. Mitowski? I don’t
think that Mr. Quincy’s going to be back until tomorrow morning.”
“That’ll be good enough,” she said. “Have him
call me first thing, no matter how early he gets in.”
After she hung up, she went to the kitchen
and stared out at the rose garden.
How could Wamwright vanish like that?
For the third evening in a row, Paul and
Carol and Jane prepared dinner together. The girl was fitting in better day by
day.
If she stays with us just another week, Paul
thought, it’ll seem like she’s always been here.
The salad consisted of hearts of palm and
iceberg lettuce. That was followed by eggplant Parmigiana with spaghetti on the
side.
As they were starting dessert—small dishes of
richly flavored spumoni—Paul said, “Any
chance we
could postpone the trip to the mountains for
two days?”
“Why?” Carol asked
“I’m a bit behind in my writing schedule, and
I’m at a very critical point in the book,” he said. “I’ve written two-thirds of
the toughest scene in the story, and I hate to leave it unfinished just to go
on vacation.
I won’t enjoy myself. If we left Sunday
instead of tomorrow, that would give me time to polish off the end of the
chapter. And we’d still have eight days at the cabin.”
“Don’t look at me,” Jane said. “I’m
just excess baggage. I’ll go wherever you take me, whenever you take me.”
Carol shook her head. “Just last week, when
Mr. O’Brian said we were compulsive overachievers, we made up our minds to
change our ways, didn’t we? We’ve got to learn to make time for leisure
and not let our work encroach on that.”
“You’re right,” Paul said. “But just this
once—”
He broke off in midsentence because he saw
that Carol was determined. She was rarely intractable, but when she did decide
not to compromise on. an issue, she was about as movable as Gibraltar. He
sighed. “Okay. You win. We’ll leave tomorrow morning. I’ll just bring along the
typewriter and the manuscript. I can finish the scene up at the cabin and—”
“Nothing doing,” Carol said, emphasizing each
word by tapping her spoon against her ice cream dish.
“If you bring it along, you won’t stop when
you’ve reached the end of the scene you’re working on. You’ll keep going. You know
you will. Having the typewriter within easy reach will just be too much of
a temptation. You won’t be able to resist it. The whole vacation will go down
the drain.”
“But I just can’t put that scene on
hold for ten days,” he said pleadingly. “By the time I get back to it, the tone
and the spontaneity will be lost.”
Carol ate a spoonful of spumoni and said,
“All right. Here’s what we’ll do. Jane and I will leave for the mountains first
thing in the morning, just as we planned. You stay here, finish your scene, and
then drive up to join us whenever you’re ready.”
He frowned. “I’m not sure that’s a good
idea.”
“Why not?”
“Well, is it really wise for the two of you
to go up there alone? I mean, the summer season is over. Theme aren’t going to
be many campers in the woods now, and most of the other cabins will be
deserted.”
“For heaven’s sake,” Carol said, “there’s no
Abominable Snowman lurking around in those
mountains, Paul. We’re in Pennsylvania, not Tibet.” She smiled. “It’s nice
to know you’re so concerned about us, darling. But we’ll be perfectly safe.”
***
Later, after Jane had gone to bed, Paul made
one last attempt to change Carol’s mind, although he knew the effort would be
wasted.
He leaned against the frame of the closet
door and watched as Carol selected clothes for the suitcases.
“Listen, be straight with me, okay?”
“Aren’t I always? Straight about what?”
“The girl. Is there any chance she’s
dangerous?”
Carol turned from the clothes rack and stared
at him, obviously surprised by his question. “Jane? Dangerous? Well, a girl as
pretty as she is will probably
break a lot of hearts over the years. And if
cuteness could kill, she’d leave the streets littered with bodies behind her.”
He refused to be amused. “I don’t want you to
be flippant about this. I think it’s important. I want you to give it careful
thought.”
“I don’t need to give it a lot of thought,
Paul. She’s lost her memory, sure. But she’s a stable, mentally healthy kid. In
fact, it takes an amazingly stable personality to handle amnesia the way
she’s handled it. I don’t know that I’d do half as well if I were in her shoes
right now. I’d either be a nervous wreck or sunk neck-deep in depression. She’s
resilient, flexible. Resilient and flexible people aren’t dangerous.”
“Never?”
“Hardly ever. It’s the rigid ones who crack.”
“But after what’s happened in your therapy
sessions with her, isn’t it reasonable to wonder about what she might be
capable of doing?” he asked,
“She’s a tortured girl. I believe she’s been
through a truly terrifying experience, something so awful that she refuses to
relive it, even under hypnosis. She obfuscates, misdirects, and holds back
vital information, but that doesn’t mean she’s the least bit dangerous. Just
scared. It seems evident to me that she was the victim of either physical or
psychological violence at some time in her life. The victim, Paul, not
the perpetrator.”
She carried a few pairs of jeans to the
suitcases that were open on the bed.
Paul followed her. “Are you going to continue
her therapy while you’re at the cabin?”
Yes. I think it’s best to keep chipping away
at the Wall of confusion she’s thrown up.”
“No fair.”
“Huh?’
“That’s work,” he said. “I’m not allowed to take
my work up to the cabin, but you’re going to work.
That’s a double standard, Dr. Tracy.”
“Double standard, my ass, Dr. Tracy. I’ll
need only half an hour a day for Jane’s therapy. That’s a lot different than
lugging an IBM Selectric into the piny woods and pounding on the keys ten hours
a day. Don’t you realize that all the squirrels and deer and bunny rabbits
would complain about the noise?”
***
Later still, when they were in bed and the
lights were out, he said, “Hell, I’m letting this book take possession of me.
Why can’t I let the scene lie unfinished for ten days? I might even do a
better job with it if I take the time to think about it. I’ll come along with
you and Jane tomorrow, and I won’t bring the typewriter. Okay? I won’t even
bring a pencil.”
“No,” Carol said.
“No?”
“When you do get to the mountains, I
want you to be able to put the book completely out of your mind. I want us to
take long walks in the forest. I want us to go boating on the lake and do some
fishing and read a couple of books and act like bums who never even heard the
word ‘work.’ if you don’t finish that scene before you go, you’ll just brood
about it during the entire vacation. You won’t have a moment's real peace, which
means I won’t have a moment's peace, either. And don’t tell me I’m
wrong. I know you better than I know myself, buster: You
stay here, write the end of that scene, and
then join us on Sunday.”
She kissed him goodnight, fluffed her
pillows, and settled down to sleep.
He lay in the dark, thinking about the words
in yesterday’s Scrabble game.
BLADE
KILL
O
O
DEATH
O
M
B
And the one word he had refused to reveal:
CAROL...
He still didn’t think anything would be
gained by telling her what the last of those six words had been. What could she
do about it other than worry? Nothing. She could do nothing, and he could do
nothing. Except wait and see. A threat—if one actually arose—could come from
any of ten thousand or a hundred thousand sources. It could come anytime,
anywhere. At home or in the mountains. One place was as safe—or as dangerous—as
the other.
Anyway, maybe the appearance of those six
words had been merely coincidence. An incredible but meaningless
coincidence.
He stared into the darkness, trying hard to
convince himself that there were no such things as spirit messages, omens, and
clairvoyant prophecies. Only a week ago, he wouldn’t have needed convincing.
***
Blood.
Get it off, scrub it off, every sticky drop
of it, wash it off, quickly, quickly, down the drain, every incriminating drop
of it, off, before someone finds out, before someone sees and knows what’s been
done, wash it off, off...
The girl woke in the bathroom, in a
fluorescent glare. She had been sleepwalking again.
She was surprised to find that she was nude.
Her knee socks, panties, and T-shirt were scattered on the floor around her.
She was standing in front of the sink,
scrubbing herself with a wet washcloth. When she looked at her reflection in
the mirror, she was briefly paralyzed by what she saw.
Her face was smeared with blood.
Her arms were spattered with blood.
Her sweetly uptilted, bare breasts glistened
with blood.
And she knew instantly that it wasn’t her
own. She had not been slashed or stabbed. She was the one who had done
the slashing, the stabbing.
Oh God.
She stared at her gruesome reflection,
morbidly fascinated by the sight of her blood-moistened lips.
What have I done?
She slowly lowered her gaze along her
crimsoned neck, looked down at the reflection of her right nipple, on which
hung a very fat, carmine droplet of gore.
The gleaming pearl of blood quivered for an
instant on the tip of her erect nipple; then it succumbed to gravity and fell
away from her.
She pulled her gaze from the mirror, lowered
her head to see where the droplet had struck the floor.
There was no blood.
When she looked directly at herself, rather
than at her reflection, she discovered that her body was not covered with blood
after all. She touched her bare breasts. They were damp because she had been
scrubbing them with the washcloth, but the dampness was nothing more than
water. Her arms weren’t spattered with blood, either.
She squeezed the washcloth. Clear water
dripped from it; the cloth bore no grisly stains.
Confused, she raised her eyes to the mirror
once more and saw the blood, as before.
She held out her hand. In reality it was not
bloody, but in the mirror it was sheathed in a glove of gore.
A vision, she thought. A weird illusion.
That’s all. I didn’t hurt anyone. I didn’t spill anyone’s blood.
As she struggled to understand what was
happening. her mirror image faded, and the glass in front of her turned black.
It seemed to have been transformed into a window that looked out onto another
dimension, for it reflected nothing that was in the bathroom.
This is a dream, she thought. I’m really snug
in bed, where I belong. I’m only dreaming that I’m in the bathroom I can put a
stop to this just by waking up.
On the other hand, if it was a dream, would
she be able to feel the cold ceramic floor beneath her bare feet as vividly as
she could fuel it now? If it was really only a dream, would she be aware of the
cold water on her bare breasts?
She shivered.
In the lightless void on the other side of
the mirror, something flickered far off in the darkness.
Wake up!
Something silvery. It flashed again and
again, back and forth, the image growing steadily larger.
For God’s sake, wake up!
She wanted to run. Couldn’t.
She wanted to scream. Didn’t.
In seconds the flickering object filled the
mirror, pushing back the darkness out of which it had come, and then somehow it
burst out of the mirror without shattering the glass, exploded out of the void
and into the bathroom with one final, murderous swing, and she saw that it was
an ax, bearing down on her face, the steel blade gleaming like the finest
silver under the fluorescent lights. As the wickedly sharp edge of the ax swept
inexorably toward her head, her knees buckled, and she fainted.
***
Near dawn, Jane woke again.
She was in bed. She was nude.
She threw the covers back, sat up, and saw
her 1-shirt, panties, and knee socks on the floor beside the bed. She dressed
quickly.
The house was silent. The Tracys weren’t up
yet.
Jane hurried quietly down the hallway to the
guest bathroom, hesitated on the threshold, then stepped
inside and snapped on the lights.
There was no blood, and the mirror above the
sink was only an ordinary mirror, reflecting her worried face but contributing
no bizarre images of its own.
Okay, she thought, maybe I was sleepwalking.
And maybe I was actually here without any clothes on, trying to scrub
nonexistent blood off my body. But the rest of it was just part of the nightmare.
It didn’t happen. It couldn’t. Impossible. The mirror couldn’t really change
like that.
She stared into her own blue eyes. She wasn’t
sure what she saw in them.
“Who am I?” she asked softly.
All week, Grace’s sleep—what little she had
managed to get between bouts of insomnia—had been dreamless. But tonight she
thrashed for hours in the sheets, trying to fight her way out of a nightmare
that seemed to last an eternity.
In the dream, a house was on fire. A big,
beautifully ornamented Victorian house. She was standing outside the blazing
structure, pounding on a pair of slant-set cellar doors and calling a name over
and over again. “Laura! Laura!” She knew that Laura was trapped in the cellar
of the burning house and that these doors were the only way out, but the doors
were latched on the inside. She hammered on the wood with her bare hands until
each blow sent a cruel bolt of pain the length of her arms, through her
shoulders, and up the back of her neck. She wished desperately that she had an
ax or a pry-bar or some other tool with which she could smash through the
cellar doors, but she had nothing other than her fists, so she pounded and
pounded until her flesh bruised and split and bled, and she kept on pounding
even then, all the while screaming for Laura. Windows exploded on the second
floor, showering glass down over her, but she didn’t turn away from the
slant-set cellar doors; she didn’t run. She continued to slam her bloodied
fists into the wood, praying that the girl would answer at any moment. She
ignored the sparks that showered down on her and threatened to set her gingham
dress afire. She wept, and she coughed when the wind blew the acrid smoke in
her direction, and she cursed the wood that so easily resisted her fierce but
ineffectual attack.
The nightmare had no climax, no peak of
terror. It simply went on all night long at a continuously breathless pace
until, a few minutes after dawn, Grace finally wrenched herself out of the hot,
clutching arms of sleep and woke with a wordless cry, flailing at the mattress.
She sat up on the edge of the bed and held
her throbbing head in her hands.
Her mouth was filled with the taste of ashes
and bile.
The dream had been so vivid that she had even
felt the high-necked, long-sleeved, blue and white gingham dress binding at her
shoulders and across her bust as she had hammered on the cellar doors. Now,
wide awake, she could still feel the dress binding her, even though she
was wearing a loose nightgown, and even though she had never worn such a dress
in her entire life.
Worse, she could smell the house burning.
The smoke odor lingered so long after she had
awakened that she became convinced that her own house was ablaze. Quickly, she
pulled on a robe, stepped into her slippers, and went from one room to another,
searching for the fire.
There was no fire.
Yet for almost an hour, the stench of burning
wood and tar stayed with her.
10
FRIDAY morning at nine o’clock, Paul sat down
at his writing desk, picked up the phone, and called Lincoln Werth, the police
detective in charge of the Jane Doe case. He told Werth that Carol was taking
the girl out of town for a few days of rest and recreation.
“Might as well,” Werth said. “We don’t have
any leads, and I sure don’t think this is going to break wide open anytime
soon. We keep expanding the search area, of course. At first we just put the
kid’s photo and description out to authorities in the surrounding counties.
When that didn’t do us any good, we put it on the wire to police agencies all
over the State. Yesterday morning we took another step and Wired the same data
to seven neighboring states. But I’ll tell you something, just between you and
me. Even if we expand the search area all the way to Hong
Kong, I got a feeling we ain’t never going to
find anyone who knows the kid. I just have a hunch. We’re going to keep coming
up empty-handed.”
After talking to Werth, Paul went down to the
garage, where Carol and Jane were putting their gear in the trunk of the Volkswagen.
To spare the girl grief, Paul didn’t pass along Werth’s pessimistic assessment
of the situation. “He said it’s all right to leave town for a few days. The
court didn’t restrict you to Harrisburg. I told him where the cabin is, so if
anyone turns up to claim our girl here, the Harrisburg police will contact the
county sheriff out that way, and he or one of his deputies will drop by the
cabin and let you know you’ve got to come back.”
Carol kissed him goodbye. Jane kissed him,
too; hers was a shy, chaste kiss, lightly planted on his cheek, and when she
got into the car, she was blushing brightly.
He stood in front of the house and watched
them drive away until the red Volkswagen Rabbit was out of sight.
After almost a week of blue skies, clouds had
drifted in again. They were flat, slate gray. They matched Paul’s mood.
***
When the kitchen phone rang, Grace steeled
herself for the sound of Leonard’s voice. She sat down in the chair at the
small built-in desk, reached up, put her hand on the receiver that hung on the
wall, let it ring once more, then picked it up. To her relief, it was Ross
Quincy, the managing editor of the Morning
News, returning the call she’d made late yesterday afternoon.
“You were inquiring about one of our
reporters, Dr. Mitowski?”
“Yes. Palmer Wainwright.”
Quincy was silent.
“He does work for you, doesn’t he?” Grace
asked.
“Uh.. Palmer Wainwnght has been an employee
of the Morning News, yes.”
“I believe he nearly won a Pulitzer Prize.”
“Yes. But of course. . . that was quite a while
back.”
“Oh?”
“Well, if you know about the Pulitzer
nomination, you must know it was for the series he did on the Bektermann
murders.”
“Yes.”
“Which was back in 1943.”
“That long ago?”
“Uh. . . Dr. Mitowski, exactly what is it you
wanted to know about Palmer Wainwright?”
“I’d like to talk with him,” she said. “We’ve
met, and we have some unfinished business that I’m rather anxious to take care
of. It’s a.. . personal matter.”
Quincy hesitated. Then: “Are you a long-lost
relative?”
“Of Mr. Wainwright’s? Oh, no.”
“A long-lost friend?”
“No. Not that either.”
“Well, then, I guess I don’t have to be
delicate about this. Dr. Mitowski, I’m afraid that Palmer Wainwright is dead.”
“Dead!” she said, astounded.
“Well, surely you realized there was that
possibility. He was never a well man, downright sickly. And you’ve obviously
been out of touch with him for a long time.”
“Not all that long,” she said.
“Must be at least thirty-five years,” Quincy
said. “He died back in 1946.”
The air at Grace’s back seemed suddenly
colder than it had been an instant ago, as if a dead man had expelled his icy
breath against the nape of her neck.
“Thirty-one years,” she said numbly. “You
must be wrong.”
“Not a chance. I was just a green kid back
then, a copyboy. Palmer Wainwright was one of my heroes. I took it pretty hard
when he went.”
“Are we talking about the same man?” Grace
asked. “He was quite thin, with sharp features, pale brown eyes, and a rather
sallow complexion. His voice was several notes deeper than you’d expect from
just looking at him.”
“That was Palmer, all right.”
“About fifty-five?”
“He was thirty-six when he died, but he did look
twenty years older,” Quincy said. “It was that string of illnesses, one
thing right after another, with cancer at the end. Jt just wore him down, aged
him fast. He was a fighter, but he just couldn’t hold on any longer.”
Thirty-one years in the grave? she thought.
But I saw him yesterday. We had a strange conversation in the rose garden. What
do you say to that, Mr. Quincy?
“Dr. Mitowski? Are you still there?”
“Yes. Sorry. Listen, Mr. Quincy, I hate to
take your valuable time, but this is really important. I believe the Bektermann
case had a lot to do with the personal business I wanted to discuss with Mr.
Wainwright. But I don’t really know anything about those murders. Would you
mind telling me what it was all about?”
“Family tragedy,” Quincy said. “The
Bektermanns’ daughter went berserk the day before her sixteenth birthday. Her
mind just snapped. Apparently, she got it in her head that her mother intended
to kill her before she turned sixteen, which was not true, of course. But she thought
it was true, and she went after her mother with an ax. Her father and a
visiting cousin got in the way, and she killed them. Her mother actually
managed to wrench the ax out of the girl’s hands. But that didn’t stop the kid.
She just picked up a fireplace poker and kept coming. When the mother, Mrs.
Bektermann, was backed into a corner and was about to have her skull cracked
open with the poker, she didn’t have any choice but to swing the ax at her
daughter. She hit the girl once, in the side. A pretty deep cut. The kid died
in the hospital the next day. Mrs. Bektermann only killed in self-defense, and
no charges were brought against her, but she felt so guilty about killing her
own child that she had a complete breakdown and eventually wound up in an
institution.”
“And that’s the story that won Mr. Wainwright
his Pulitzer nomination?”
“Yeah. In the hands of a lot of reporters,
the piece Would have been nothing but sensationalistic garbage. But Palmer was
good. He wrote a sensitive, well-researched study of a family with serious
emotional, interpersonal problems. The father was a domineering man who set
extremely high standards for his daughter and very likely had an unnatural
attraction to her. The mother was always competing with the father for the
girl’s heart, mind, and loyalty, and when she saw she was losing that battle,
she turned to drink. There were extraordinary psychological pressures brought
to bear on the daughter, and Palmer made the reader feel and understand those
pressures.”
She thanked Ross Quincy for his time and
consideration. She hung up the phone.
For a while she just sat there, staring at
the softly humming refrigerator, trying to make sense of what she had been
told. If Wainwright had died in 1946, whom had she talked to in the garden
yesterday?
And what did the Bektermann murders have to
do with her? With Carol?
She thought of what Wainwright had told her: This
damned, endless pursuit. It’s still going on, and it’s got to be stopped this
tune around ye come to tell you that your Carol is in the middle of it.
You’ve got to help her. Get her out of the
girl’s way.
She felt she was on the verge of
understanding what he had meant. And she was scared.
Even though a number of impossible things had
transpired within the past twenty-four hours, she no longer questioned either
her sanity or her perceptions.
She was sane, perfectly sane, and in command
of all her faculties. Senility was not even a remote possibility any longer.
She sensed that the explanation for these events was far more frightening, more
soul-shattering even than the prospect of senility, which had once terrified
her.
She recalled something else that Palmer
Wainwright had said yesterday in the garden: You aren’t only who you think
you are. You aren’t only Grace Mitowski.
She knew the solution to the puzzle was
within her grasp. She sensed a dark knowledge within her, long-forgotten
memories waiting to be tapped. She was afraid to tap them, but she knew she
must do precisely that, for Carol’s sake, and perhaps for her own sake as well.
Suddenly, the air in the kitchen, though
still quite clear, reeked of wood and tar smoke. Grace could hear the crackle
of fire, although there were no flames here, now, in this place and time.
Her heart pounded frantically, and her mouth
turned dry and sour.
She closed her eyes and could see the burning
house as vividly as she had seen it in the dream. She could see the cellar doors,
and she could hear herself screaming, calling Laura.
She knew it hadn’t been only a dream. It had
been a memory, lost for ages, surfacing now, reminding her that, indeed, she
was not only Grace Mitowski.
She opened her eyes.
The kitchen was hot, stifling.
She felt herself being pulled along by forces
she could not comprehend, and she thought: Is this what I want? Do I really
want to flow with this and discover the truth and turn my little world upside
down? Can
I handle it?
The stench of nonexistent smoke grew
stronger.
The roar of nonexistent flames grew louder.
I guess there’s no turning back now, she
thought.
She held her hands up in front of her face
and Stared at them, amazed. Her flesh had been miraculously disfigured by
stigmata. Her hands were bruised, abraded, bloody. There were splinters of wood
embedded in her palms, splinters from the cellar doors
on which she had pounded such a long, long
time ago.
***
At ten o’clock, when the phone rang, Paul had
been at his desk, writing, for almost an hour. The work had just begun to flow
smoothly. He snatched up the receiver and said, a bit impatiently, “Yes?”
An unfamiliar female voice said, “Could I
speak to Dr. Tracy, please?”
“Speaking.”
“Oh. Uh.. no.. . the Dr. Tracy I’m looking
for is a woman.”
“It’s my wife you want,” he said. “She’s out
of town for a few days. Can I take a message?”
“Yes, please. Would you tell her that Polly
called from Maugham & Crichton?”
He jotted the name down on a note pad. “And
what’s this in reference to?”
“Dr. Tracy was here yesterday afternoon with
a young girl who’s suffering from amnesia. . .
“Yes,” Paul said, suddenly more interested
than he had been. “I know the case.”
“Dr. Tracy was asking if we’d ever heard of
anyone named Millicent Parker.”
“That’s right. She told me about it last
evening. It was another dead end, I gather.”
“It seemed to be a dead end yesterday,” Polly
said, “but now it turns out that one of our doctors is familiar with the name.
Dr. Maugham himself, in fact.”
“Listen, rather than waiting for my wife to
call you back, why don’t you just tell me what you’ve come up with, and
I can pass the information along to her.”
“Well, sure, why not? See, Dr. Maugham is the
senior partner in the practice. He bought this property eighteen years ago and
personally oversaw the restoration of the outside and the renovation of the
interior. He’s a history bug, so it was natural for him to want to know the
history of the building he purchased. He says this place was built in 1902 by a
man named Randolph Parker. Parker had a daughter named Millicent.”
“1902?”
“That’s right.”
“Interesting.”
“You haven’t heard the best part,” Polly
said, the eagerness of a gossip-monger in her voice. “Seems that back in 1905,
the night before Millie’s sixteenth birthday party, Mrs. Parker was in the
kitchen, decorating a big cake for the girl. Millie snuck in behind her and
stabbed her in the back four times.”
Unthinking, Paul snapped the pencil he’d been
holding ever since he’d written Polly’s name on the note pad. One broken piece
popped out of his hand, spun across the top of the desk, and fell to the floor.
“She stabbed her own mother?” he asked,
hoping that he had not heard correctly.
“Isn’t that something?”
“Kill her?” he asked numbly.
“No. Dr. Maugham says that according to the
newspaper accounts at that time, the girl used a short bladed knife. It didn’t
sink in far enough to do really major damage. No vital organs or blood vessels
were affected. Louise Parker—that was the mother’s flame—managed to grab a meat
cleaver from a kitchen rack. She tried to hold the girl off with that. But I
guess Millie must have been completely off her rocker, ‘cause she charged
straight at Mrs. Parker again, and Mrs. Parker had to use that cleaver.”
“Jesus.”
“Yeah,” Polly said, obviously enjoying his
shocked reaction. “Dr. Maugham says she put that cleaver right into her
daughter’s throat. Pretty much cut the girl’s head clear off. Isn’t that a
terrible thing? But what else could she do? Just let the kid go on jabbing that
knife into her?”
Stunned, Paul thought about yesterday’s
hypnotic regression therapy session, which Carol had recounted for him in some
detail. He remembered the part about how Jane had claimed to be Millicent
Parker and had insisted on writing out her answers to questions and had written
that she was unable to talk because her head had been cut off.
“Are you still there?” Polly asked.
“Oh. Uh. . . sorry. Is there more to the
story?”
“More?” Polly asked. “Wasn’t that enough?”
“Yes,” he said. “You’re absolutely right.
That was enough. More than enough.”
“I don’t know if this information is of any
help to Dr. Tracy.”
“I’m sure it will be.”
“I don’t see how it could have anything to do
with the girl she brought in here with her yesterday.”
“Neither do I,” Paul said.
“I mean, that girl can’t be Millicent Patter.
Millicent Parker has been dead for seventy-six years.”
***
In the study, Grace stood at her desk,
looking down at the open dictionary.
REINCARNATION
(re’-in-kár-na’shen), n. 1. the doctrine that the soul, upon death of
the body, comes back to earth in another body or form. 2. rebirth of the soul
in a new body. 3. a new incarnation or embodiment, as of a person.
Bunk? Nonsense? Superstition? Bullshit?
At one time, not long ago, those were all the
words she would have used to write her own irreverent definition of
reincarnation. But not now. Not any longer.
She closed her eyes, and with only the
slightest effort, she was able to bring back the image of the burning house.
She wasn’t just envisioning it; she was there, hammering with her fists
on the cellar door. She was not Grace Mitowski now; she was Rachael Adams,
Laura’s aunt.
The fire scene was not the only part of
Rachael’s life that she could recall with perfect clarity. She knew the woman’s
most intimate thoughts, her hopes and dreams and hates and fears, shared her
most closely held secrets, for those thoughts and hopes and dreams and fears
and secrets had been her own.
She opened her eyes and needed a moment to
refocus them on the present-day world.
REINCARNATION
She closed the dictionary.
God help me, she thought, do I really believe
it? Can it be true that I’ve lived before? And that Carol’s lived before? And
the girl they’re calling Jane Doe?
If it was true—if she had been
permitted to recall her previous existence as Rachael Adams in order to save
Carol’s life in this incarnation—then she was wasting valuable time.
She picked up the phone to call the Tracys,
wondering how in God’s name she was going to make them believe her.
There was no dial tone.
She jiggled the receiver-cradle buttons.
Nothing.
She put the receiver down and followed the
cord around the side of the desk to the wall, to see if it had come unplugged.
It wasn’t unplugged; it was chewed.
Bitten in two.
Aristophanes.
She remembered other things that Palmer
Wainwright had said in the garden: There are certain forces, dark and
powerful forces, that want to see this played out the wrong way. Dark forces
that thrive on tragedy. They want to see it end in senseless violence and
blood. . . There are forces aligned. . . good and evil, right and
wrong. You’re on the right side, Grace. But the cat—ah, the cat’s a different
story. A: all times, you must be wary of the cat.
She also remembered when the series of
paranormal events had begun, and she realized that the cat had been an integral
part of it all, from the very start. Wednesday of last week. When she had
suddenly awakened from her afternoon nap that day—catapulted out of a nightmare
about Carol—there had been an incredibly brilliant and violent barrage of
Lightening beyond the study windows. She had staggered to the nearest window,
and while she had stood there on unsteady, arthritic legs, half-awake and
half-asleep, she’d had the eerie feeling that something monstrous had followed
her up from the world of her nightmare, something demonic with a hungry grin on
its face. For a few seconds that feeling had been so strong, so real, that she
had been afraid to turn around and look into the shadowy room behind her. But
then she had dismissed that weird thought as nothing more than the cold residue
of the nightmare. Now, of course, she knew she shouldn’t have dismissed it so
quickly. Something strange had been in the room with her—a spirit; a
presence; call it what you will. It had been there. And now it was in the cat.
She left the study and hurried down the hall.
In the kitchen, she found that phone cord
also chewed apart.
There was no sign of Aristophanes.
Nevertheless, Grace knew he was nearby,
perhaps even close enough to be watching her. She sensed his—or its—presence.
She listened. The house was too silent.
She wanted to cross the few feet of open
floor to the kitchen door, open it boldly, and walk away from the house. But
she strongly suspected that any attempt to leave would trigger an immediate and
vicious attack.
She thought about the cat’s claws, teeth,
fangs. It wasn’t merely a house pet, not just an amusing Siamese with a cute,
furry face. It was actually a tough little killing machine, too; its feral
impulses lay beneath a thin veneer of domestication. It was both respected and
dreaded by mice and birds and squirrels. But could it kill a grown woman?
Yes, she thought uneasily. Yes, Aristophanes
could kill me if he caught me by surprise and if he went for either my throat
or my eyes.
The best thing she could do was stay within
the house and not antagonize the cat until she had armed herself and could feel
confident of winning any battle.
The only other telephone was in the
second-floor bedroom. Wary, she went upstairs, even though she knew the third
extension would be out of order, too.
It was.
But there was something in the bedroom that
made the journey up the stairs worthwhile. The gun. She pulled open the top
drawer of her nightstand and took out the loaded pistol she kept there. She had
a hunch she would need it.
A hiss. A rustle.
Behind her.
Before she could swing around and confront
her adversary, he was on her. He vaulted from the floor to the bed, sprang from
the bed to her back, landing with nearly enough force to knock her off balance.
She tottered for a moment and almost fell forward into the bedside lamp.
Aristophanes hissed and spat and scrambled
for purchase on her back.
Fortunately, she kept her feet under her. She
spun around and shook herself, frantically attempting to throw him off before
he could do any damage.
His claws were hooked in her clothes.
Although she was wearing both a blouse and a sweater, she felt a couple of his
razor-tipped nails puncturing her skin—hot little points of pain. He wouldn’t
let go.
She drew her shoulders up and tucked her head
down, pulling her chin in tight against her chest, protecting her neck as best
she could. She swung one fist up behind her back, struck only air, tried again,
and hit the cat with a blow that was too weak to have done any harm.
Nevertheless, Aristophanes squealed with rage
and snapped at her neck. He was foiled by her hunched shoulders and by her
thick hair, which got in his mouth and gagged him.
She had never wanted anything half so much as
she wanted to kill the little bastard. He was no longer the familiar pet she
had loved; he was a strange and hateful beast, and she harbored no ghost of
affection for him.
She wished she could use the gun she was
clutching in her right hand, but there was no way she could shoot him without
shooting herself, too.
She struck at him repeatedly with her left
hand, her arthritic shoulder protesting sharply, painfully when she twisted her
arm up and backwards at such an unnatural angle.
At least for a moment, the cat abandoned its
relentless but thus far ineffective attack on her neck. It slashed its claws
across her flailing fist, slicing open the skin on her knuckles.
Her fingers were instantly slick with blood.
They stung so badly that her eyes started to water.
Either the sight or the odor of the blood
encouraged the cat. It shrieked with savage glee.
Grace began to think the unthinkable—that she
was going to lose this fight.
No!
She struggled against the grip of fear that
threatened to incapacitate her, tried to clear her panic-befuddled mind, and
suddenly had an idea that she thought might save her life. She stumbled toward
the nearest stretch of open wall, to the left of the dresser. The cat clung
tenaciously to her back, insistently pressing its snout against the base of her
skull, hissing and snarling. It was determined to force its way to her
sheltered neck and rip open her jugular vein.
When Grace reached the wall, she turned her
back to it, then fell against it with all her weight, slamming the cat into the
plaster behind her, pinning it hard between her body and the wall, hoping to
break its spine. The jolt brought a flash of pain through her shoulders and
drove the animal’s claws deeper into her back muscles. The cat’s scream was
nearly shrill enough to shatter fine crystal, and it sounded almost like the
wail of a human infant. But its grip on her didn’t weaken. Grace pushed away
from the wall, then slammed into it a second time, and the cat wailed as
before, but still held fast. She thrust herself off the wall, intending to make
a third attempt to crush her adversary, but before she could fall back on him,
the cat let go of her. He dropped to the floor, rolled, sprang to his feet, and
scurried away from her, favoring his right foreleg.
Good. She had hurt him.
She sagged against the wall, raised the .22
pistol that was stilt in her right hand, and squeezed the trigger.
Nothing.
She had forgotten to switch off the safeties.
The cat hurried through the open door and
disappeared into the upstairs hail.
Grace went to the door, closed it, leaned
wearily against it. Gasping.
Her left hand was scratched and bleeding, and
her back bore half a dozen claw punctures, but she had won the first round. The
cat was limping; he was injured, perhaps as badly as she was, and he was
the one who had retreated.
No celebration, though. Not yet.
Not until she had gotten out of the house
alive. And not until she was certain that Carol was safe, too.
After the unsettling telephone conversation
he’d had with the receptionist at Maugham & Crichton, Paul didn’t know what
the hell to do.
He couldn’t write. That was for sure. He
couldn’t get his mind off Carol long enough to advance the plot of his novel by
so much as even one sentence.
He wanted to call Lincoln Werth, at police
headquarters, and arrange to have a sheriff’s deputy waiting at the cabin when
Carol and Jane arrived up there. He wanted them brought home. But he could
imagine the conversation he would have with Detective Werth, and the thought of
it daunted him:
“You want a deputy to meet them at the
cabin?”
“That’s right.”
“Why?”
“1 think my wife’s in danger.”
“What kind of danger?”
“1 think the girl, Jane Doe, might be
violent. Maybe even homicidal.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Because under hypnosis she claimed to be
Millie Parker.”
“Who’s that?”
“Millie Parker once tried to kill her
mother.”
“She did? When was that?”
“Back in 1905.”
“Then she’d be a little old lady today,
for Christ’s sake. The kid’s only fourteen or fifteen.”
“You don’t understand. Millie Parker’s
been dead for about seventy-six years and—”
“Wait a minute, wait a minute! What the
hell are you saying? That your wife might be murdered by some kid who’s been
dead for most of the century?”
“No. Of course not.”
“Then what do you mean?”
“F. . . don’t know.”
Werth would think that he had been out
boozing all night, or that he had started the morning with a couple of joints
of good grass.
Besides, it wasn’t fair to Jane to accuse her
publicly of being a potential killer. Perhaps Carol was right. Maybe the kid
was just a victim. Except for what she said under hypnosis, she certainly seemed
to be incapable of violence.
On the other hand, of all the people she
could have claimed to be, why had she said that she was Millicent Parker, the
would-be murderess? Where had she heard that name before. Didn’t the use of it
indicate latent hostility?
Paul swiveled his typing chair away from the
desk and stared out the window at the gray sky. The wind was picking up by the
minute. The clouds were racing westward across the sky, as if they were
enormous, swift, dark ships with billowing sails the color of thunderstorms.
BLADE, BLOOD, DEATH, TOMB, KILL, CAROL.
I’ve got to go to the cabin, he thought with
sudden decisiveness, and he got to his feet.
Maybe he was overreacting to this Millicent
Parker business, but he couldn’t just sit here, wondering....
He went into the master bedroom to throw some
things into a suitcase. After only a brief hesitation, he decided to
pack his .38 revolver.
The girl said, “How much farther to the
cabin?”
“Another twenty minutes,” Carol said. “The
whole drive usually takes just about two hours and fifteen minutes, and we’re
pretty much on schedule.”
The mountains were cool and green. Some trees
had already been touched by the artful hand of autumn, and most—all but the
evergreens—would change the color of their leaves during the next few weeks.
Today, however, the predominant shade was still green, with a smattering of
gold here and there, an occasional touch of red. The edge of the forest—
wherever the meadow or the roadway met the trees— was decorated with a few
end-of-the-season wildflowers, blue and white and purple.
“It’s beautiful up here,” Jane said as they
followed the two-lane county road around a curve. The right-hand bank, which
sloped down to the macadam, was covered with vividly green clusters of
rhododendron shrubs.
“I love the Pennsylvania mountains,” Carol
said. She felt more relaxed now than she had in weeks. “It’s so peaceful here.
Wait till you’ve been at the cabin a day or two. You’ll forget the rest of the
world exists.”
They came out of the curve onto an ascending
straightaway, where the interlocking branches of the trees formed a tunnel over
portions of the lane. At those points where the trees parted sufficiently to
provide a glimpse of the sky, there was nothing to be seen but massive,
gray-black clouds clotted together in surging, ugly, threatening formations.
“I sure hope it doesn’t rain and spoil our
first day here,” Jane said.
“Rain won’t spoil anything,” Carol assured
her. “If we’re forced to stay inside, we’ll just throw a whole bunch of logs in
the big stone fireplace and roast some hot dogs indoors. And we have a
closetful of games to help us pass rainy days. Monopoly, Scrabble, Clue, Risk,
Battleship, and at least a dozen others. I think we’ll be able to avoid cabin
fever.”
“It’s going to be fun,” Jane said
enthusiastically.
The canopy of trees parted overhead, and the
September sky churned darkly.
11
GRACE sat on the edge of the bed, holding the
.22 pistol, considering her options. She didn’t have many.
In fact, the more she thought about it, the
more it seemed to her that the cat had a better chance of winning this duel
than she did.
If she attempted to leave the house by way of
the bedroom window, she would surely break a leg and probably her neck as well.
If she had been only twenty years younger, she might have tried it. But at
seventy, with her swollen joints and brittle bones, jumping from a second-floor
window onto a concrete patio could only end in misery. Anyway, the point wasn’t
just to get out of the house, but to get out in one piece, so she could make it
across town to Carol’s and Paul’s place.
She could open the window and start screaming
for help. But she was afraid that Aristophanes—or the thing using Aristophanes'
body—would attack anyone who showed up and tried to assist her, and she didn’t
want a neighbor’s death on her conscience.
This was her battle. No one else’s. She would
have to fight it alone.
She considered all the routes by which she
might possibly leave the house once she had reached the bottom floor—if she
reached the bottom floor—but no particular route seemed less dangerous than any
other. The cat could be anywhere. Everywhere. The bedroom was the only safe
place in the house. If she ventured out of this sanctuary, the cat would be
waiting for her and would attack her, regardless of whether she tried to exit
the house by the front door, the kitchen door, or one of the ground-floor
windows. It would be crouched in one shadow or another, perhaps perched atop a
bookcase or cupboard or hutch, tensed and ready to launch itself down onto her
startled, upturned face.
She had the gun, of course. But the cat,
stealthy by nature, would always have the advantage of surprise. If it got just
a two- or three-second lead on her, if she was only that little bit slower to
react than was the cat, it would have ample time to fasten onto her face, tear
open her throat, or gouge her eyes out with its quick, stiletto claws.
Strangely, though she had accepted the
doctrine of reincarnation, though she now knew beyond doubt that there was some
kind of life after death, she nevertheless feared dying. The certainty of
eternal life in no way diminished the value of this life. Indeed, now
that she could discern godlike machinery just below the visible surface of the
world, her life seemed to have more meaning and purpose than ever before.
She didn’t want to die.
However, although the odds of her leaving the
house alive were, at best, only fifty-fifty, she couldn’t stay in the bedroom
indefinitely. She had no water, no food. Besides, if she didn’t get out of’
here in the next few minutes, she might be too late to be of any help to Carol.
If Carol is killed simply because I lack the
courage to face that damned cat, she thought, then I might as well be dead
anyway.
She switched off the two safeties on the
pistol.
She got up and went to the door.
For nearly a minute she stood with one ear
pressed to the door, listening for scratching noises or other indications that
Aristophanes was nearby. She heard nothing.
Holding the pistol in her right hand, she
used her bloody, claw-torn left hand to turn the knob. She opened the door with
the utmost caution, half an inch at a time, expecting the cat to dart through
the opening the instant it was wide enough to admit him. But he didn’t.
Finally, reluctantly, she poked her head out
into the hall. Looked left. Right.
The cat wasn’t anywhere in sight.
She stepped into the hail and paused, afraid
to move away from the bedroom door.
Go! she told herself angrily. Move your ass, Gracie!
She took a step toward the head of the
stairs. Then another step. Trying to be quiet.
The stairs appeared to be a mile away.
She looked behind her.
Still no Aristophanes.
Another step.
This was going to be the longest walk she had
ever taken.
Paul latched his suitcase, picked it up,
turned away from the bed—and jumped, startled, when the entire house shook as
if a wrecker’s ball had struck the side of it.
THUNK!
He looked up at the ceiling.
THUNK! THUNK! THUNK!
During the past five days there had been no
hammering to disturb the peace. He hadn’t entirely forgotten about it, of
course; he still occasionally wondered where that mysterious sound had come
from. For the most part, however, he had put it out of his mind; there had been
other things to worry about. But now— THUNK! THUNK! THUNK!
The nerve-fraying noise reverberated in the
windows and bounced off the walls. It seemed to vibrate in Paul’s teeth and
bones, too.
THUNK!
After spending days trying to identify the
source of that sound, understanding came to him unexpectedly, in a flash. It
was an ax. It was not a hammering, which was how he had been
thinking of it. No. There was a sharp edge to it, a brittle, cracking quality
at the end of each blow. It was a chopping sound.
THUNK!
Being able to identify the noise did
absolutely nothing to help him understand where it was coming from.
So it was an ax instead of a hammer. So what?
He still couldn’t make sense of it. Why were the blows shaking the entire
house? It would have to be the mythical Paul Bunyan’s ax to have such a
tremendous impact. And regardless of whether it was a hammer or an ax or even,
for Christ’s sake, a salami, how could the sound of it issue from thin
air?
Suddenly, inexplicably, he thought of the
meat cleaver that Louise Parker had buried in the throat of her maniacal
daughter back in 1905. He thought about the freakish lightning strikes at
Alfred O’Brian’s office; the strange intruder he had seen on the rear
lawn during the thunderstorm that evening; the Scrabble game two nights ago
(BLADE, BLOOD, DEATH, TOMB, KILL, CAROL); Grace’s two prophetic dreams. And he
knew beyond doubt—without understanding how he knew—that the sound of
the ax was the thread that sewed together all these recent extraordinary
events. Intuitively, he knew that an ax would be the instrument by which
Carol’s life would be endangered. He didn’t know how. He didn’t know why. But
he knew.
THUNK! THUNK!
A painting popped off its wall hook and
clattered to the floor.
The river of blood in Paul’s veins turned
winter-cold.
He had to get to the cabin. Fast.
He started toward the bedroom door, and it
slammed shut in front of him. No one had touched it. There had been no sudden
draft that might have moved it. One moment the door was standing wide Open, and
the next instant it was flung shut as if it had been shoved hard by an
invisible hand.
Out of the corner of his eye, Paul saw
something move. Heart banging, breath trapped in his constricted throat, he
twisted around toward the movement and instinctively raised his suitcase to
partially shield himself.
One of the two heavy, mirrored closet doors
was sliding open. He expected someone to step out of the closet, but when the
door was all the way open, he could see nothing in there except clothes on
hangers.
Then it slid shut, and the other door slid
open. Then both of them started sliding at the same time, one crossing behind
the other, back and forth, back and forth on their silent plastic wheels.
THUNK! THUNK!
A lamp crashed over on one of the
nightstands.
Another painting fell off the wall.
THUNK!
On the dresser, two porcelain figurines—a
ballerina and her male dancing partner—began to circle one another, almost as
if they had come to life and were performing for Paul. They moved slowly at
first, then faster, faster, until they were swept into the air and tossed
halfway across the room and dashed to the floor.
***
The cabin was constructed of logs and was
nestled in the cool shadows beneath the trees. it had a long, covered, screened
porch out front and an excellent view of the lake.
It was one of ninety vacation cabins tucked
into the scenic mountain valley, each on an acre or half-acre of its own. They
were all built along the south shore of the lake and were reachable only by way
of a private, gated, gravel-surfaced road that curved around the water. Some of
the cabins were made of logs, like the one Paul and Carol had bought, but there
were also white clapboard New England models, modern A-frames, and a few that
resembled small Swiss chalets.
At the end of her own graveled drive, which
branched off the community road, Carol parked the car near the front door of
the cabin. She and Jane got out and stood for a moment in companionable
silence, listening to the stillness, breathing the wonderfully fresh air.
“It’s lovely,” Jane said at last.
“Isn’t it, though?”
“So quiet.”
“It isn’t always. Not when most of the cabins
are in use. But right now there’s probably no one here except Peg and Vince
Gervis.”
“Who’re they?” Jane asked.
“The caretakers. The homeowner’s association
pays their salaries. They live year-round in the last cabin, out at the end of
the lake. In the off season, they run a couple of inspection tours every day,
just keeping a lookout for fire and vandals and whatnot. Nice people.”
Above the distant north shore of the lake,
lightning blazed across the malevolent sky. A clap of thunder fell from the
clouds and rolled across the water.
“We better get the suitcases and the food out
of the car before we have to unload everything in the rain,” Carol said.
Grace expected to be attacked on the stairs,
for that was where she would find it most difficult to defend herself. If the
cat frightened her and caused her to lose her balance, she might fall. If she
fell, she would probably break a leg or a hip, and while she was temporarily
stunned by the shock and pain of the fall, the cat would be all over her,
tearing, biting. Therefore, she descended the stairs sideways, with her back
against the wail, so she could look both ahead and behind.
But Aristophanes did not show up. Grace
reached the downstairs hail without incident.
She looked both ways along the hail.
To reach the front door, she had to pass the
open door of the study and the archway that led to the living room. The cat
could bolt out of either place as she was passing by and could leap for her
face before she would have time to spot him, aim the pistol, and pull the
trigger.
To reach the other door, the one at the back
of the house, she had to go right, along the hallway, past the open dining room
door, into the kitchen. That route didn’t look any less dangerous.
The rock and the hard place, she thought
unhappily. The devil and the deep blue sea.
Then she remembered that her car keys were in
the kitchen, hanging on the pegboard beside the back door, and that settled it.
She would have to leave through the kitchen.
She moved cautiously along the hall until she
came to a wall mirror, beneath which stood a narrow, decorative table. There
were two tail vases on the table, bracketing the mirror. She picked up one of
them in her injured left hand and sidled toward the open dining room door.
She paused before reaching the doorway,
listened.
Silence.
She leaned forward and risked her eyes by
peering into the dining room. She could not see any sign of the cat. That
didn’t mean it wasn’t in there, The drapes were half drawn, and the day was
gloomy; there were lots of shadows, many places where a cat could hide.
For the purpose of creating a diversion in
the- event that Aristophanes was in one of those shadows, Grace pitched
the vase inside. As it landed with a loud crash, she stepped across the
threshold just far enough to grasp the doorknob, then pulled the door shut as
she backed quickly into the hallway again. Now, if the cat was in there, it
would bloody well have to stay in there.
She heard no noise from the dining room,
which probably meant she hadn’t managed to trap the elusive beast. If he’d been
in there, he would have been squealing with rage and scratching at the inside
of the closed door by now. Most likely, she had only wasted time and energy
with her little trick. But at least there was now one downstairs room to which
she could turn her back with impunity.
Repeatedly glancing left and right, forward
and back, she crept to the kitchen door, hesitated, then stepped through it,
the gun thrust out in front of her. She looked the room over slowly,
thoroughly, before venturing farther. The small table and chairs. The humming
refrigerator. The dangling, cat-chewed phone cord. The gleaming chrome fixtures
on the oven. The double sinks. The white countertops. The small countertop wine
rack. The cookie jar and the breadbox lined up beside the wine.
Nothing moved.
The refrigerator motor shut off, and the
subsequent quiet was deep, unbroken.
Okay, she thought. Grit your teeth and move,
Gracie.
She walked silently across the room, her eyes
sweeping every niche, every nook: the opening under the built-in writing desk,
the narrow space beside the refrigerator, the blind spot beyond the end of one
row of cabinets. No cat.
Maybe I hurt him worse than I thought I did,
she told herself hopefully. Maybe I didn’t just lame the bastard. Maybe he
crawled away and died.
She reached the back door.
She didn’t dare breathe for fear her own
breathing would mask whatever furtive sounds the cat might make.
A ring of keys, including those for the car,
hung on a small oval pegboard beside the door. She slipped it off the hook.
She reached for the doorknob.
The cat hissed.
Grace cried out involuntarily and swung her
head to the right, in the direction of the sound.
She was standing at one end of the long row
of cabinets. At the far end, the wine rack and the bread-box and the cookie jar
were lined up side by side; she had seen them from a front-on angle when she
had first come into the room. Now she had a side view. From this angle she saw
something she couldn’t have seen from in front: The cookie jar and breadbox,
which usually rested snug against the wall behind the counter, had been moved
out a few inches. The cat had squeezed in behind those two objects, muscling
them slowly out of its way. It had crouched in that hiding place, its butt
against the wine rack, facing out toward the kitchen door. It was approximately
twelve feet from her, and then it wasn’t even that far away because it launched
itself across the counter, hissing.
The confrontation was over in a few seconds,
but during those seconds, time seemed to slow to a crawl, and Grace felt as if
she were trapped in a slow-motion film. She stumbled backwards, away from the
counter and the cat, but she didn’t get far before she collided with a wall; as
she moved, she raised the gun and fired two rounds in quick succession. The
cookie jar exploded, and wood chips flew off one of the cabinet doors. But the
cat kept coming, coming, in slow-motion strides across the slippery tile
countertop, its mouth gaping and its fangs bared. She realized that hitting
such a small, quick target was not easy, even at such short range as this. She
fired again, but she knew the gun was wavering in her hand, and she wasn’t
surprised when she heard the bullet ricochet— making a high, piercing eeeee—off
something wide of the mark. To her terror-heightened perceptions, the
echoes of the ricochet continued to infinity: eeeee, eeeee, eeeee, eeeee,
eeeee.... Then the cat reached the end of the counter and leapt into the
air, and Grace flied again. This time she hit the mark. The cat yelped. The
bullet had sufficient impact to deflect the animal only an instant before it
would have landed, scratching and biting, on her face. It was pitched back and
to the left as if it were a bundle of rags. It slammed into the kitchen door
and dropped stonelike to the floor, where it lay silent and motionless
***
Paul couldn’t decide what the poltergeist
intended to accomplish by its impressive displays of power. He didn’t know
whether or not he had anything to fear
from it. Was it trying to delay him, trying
to keep him here until it was too late for him to help Carol? Or perhaps it was
urging him on, trying its best to convince him that he must go to the cabin
immediately.
Still holding the suitcase in one hand, he
approached the bedroom door that had been flung shut by the unseen presence. As
he reached for the knob, the door began to rattle in its frame—gently at first,
then fiercely.
Thunk... thunk.. . thunk... TRUNK!
He jerked his hand back, unsure what he ought
to do.
THUNK!
The sound of the ax was coming from the door
now, not from overhead, as it had been. Although the solid-core, raised-panel,
fir door was a formidable barrier rather than just a flimsy Masonite model, it
shook violently and then cracked down the middle as if it were constructed of
balsa wood.
Paul backed away from it.
Another crack appeared, parallel to the
first, and chips of wood flew into the room.
Sliding closet doors and flying porcelain
figurines might be the work of a poltergeist, but this was something else
again. Surely no spirit could chop apart a heavy door like this. There had to
be someone swinging a very real ax against the other side.
Paul felt defenseless. He scanned the room
for makeshift weapons, but he saw nothing useful.
The .38 revolver was in the suitcase. He
wouldn’t be able to get to it in time to defend himself with it, and he wished
fervently that he had kept the gun in his hand.
THUNKTHUNKTHUNKTHUNK!
The bedroom door exploded inward in half a
dozen large pieces and countless smaller chunks and scraps.
He threw one arm over his face to protect his
eyes. Wood rained down on all sides of him.
When he lowered his arm, he saw there was no
one standing beyond the doorway, no man with an ax. The chopper-of-doors was,
after all, the unseen presence.
THUNK!
Paul stepped over a shattered section of the
door and went out into the hallway
***
The fuse box was in the kitchen pantry. Carol
engaged all the breaker switches, and the lights came on.
There was no telephone. That was virtually
the only modern convenience the cabin lacked.
“Do you think it’s chilly in here?” Carol
asked.
“A little.”
“We have a bottled-gas furnace, but unless
it’s really cold, the fireplace is nicer. Let’s bring in some firewood.”
“You mean we’ve got to cut down a tree?”
Carol laughed. “That won’t be necessary. Come
see.”
She led the girl outside, to the rear of the
cabin, where an open porch ended in steps leading down to a short rear yard.
The yard met the edge of a small meadow where the grass was knee-deep, and the
meadow climbed up toward a wall of trees fifty yards away.
When Carol saw that familiar landscape, she
stopped, surprised, remembering the dream that had spoiled her sleep several
nights last week. In the nightmare, she had been running through one house,
then through another house, then across a mountain meadow, while something
silvery flickered in the darkness behind her. At the time, she had not realized
that the meadow in the dream was this meadow.
“Something wrong?” Jane asked.
“Huh? Oh. No. Let’s get that firewood.”
She led the girl down the porch steps and to
the left, to where a woodshed was attached to the southwest corner of the
cabin.
Thunder rumbled in the distance. The rain
hadn’t
begun to fall yet.
Carol keyed open the heavy-duty padlock on
the woodshed, took it off the hasp, and slipped it in her jacket pocket. There
would be no need to replace it until they were ready to return to Harrisburg,
nine or ten days from now.
The woodshed door creaked open on unoiled
hinges. Inside, Carol tugged on the chain-pull light, and a bare hundred-watt
bulb revealed stacks of dry cordwood being protected from inclement weather.
A scuttle for carrying firewood hung from a
ceiling hook. Carol got it down and handed it to the girl. “If you fill it up
four or five times, we’ll have more than enough wood to last us until tomorrow
morning.”
By the time Jane returned from taking the
first scuttle-load into the cabin, Carol was at the chopping block, using an ax
to split a short log into four sticks.
“What’re you doing?” the girl asked, stopping
well
out of the way and staring warily at the ax.
“When I build a fire,” Carol said, “I put
kindling on the bottom, a layer of these splits on top of that, and then the
full logs to crown it off. It never fails to bum well that way. See? I’m a
regular Daniel Boone.”
The girl scowled. “That ax looks awful
sharp.”
“Has to be.”
“Are you sure it’s safe?”
“I’ve done it lots of times before, here and
at home,” Carol said. “I’m an expert. Don’t worry, honey. I’m not going to
accidentally amputate my toes.”
She picked up another short log and started
to split it into quarters.
Jane went to the woodshed, giving the
chopping block a wide berth. When she returned, carrying her second scuttle-load
to the house, she repeatedly glanced over her shoulder, frowning.
Carol began quartering another log.
THUNK!
***
Carrying his suitcase, Paul walked down the
second-floor hall to the stairway, and the poltergeist went with him. On both
sides, doors opened and slammed shut, opened and slammed shut, again and again,
all by themselves and with such tremendous force that it sounded as if he were
walking through a murderous barrage of cannon fire.
As he descended the stairs, the chandelier at
the top of the well began describing wide circles on the end of its chain,
stirred by a breeze that Paul could not feel or moved by a hand that had no
substance.
On the first floor, paintings were flung off
walls as he passed by. Chairs toppled over. The living room sofa rocked wildly
on its four graceful wooden legs. In the kitchen, the overhead utensil rack
shook; pots and pans and ladles banged against one another.
By the time he reached the Pontiac in the
garage, he knew he didn’t have to bother taking the entire suitcase to the
mountains. He hadn’t wanted to go charging into the cabin with just a gun and
the clothes on his back, for if nothing had been wrong, he would have looked
like an idiot, and he would have done Jane a grave injustice. But now, because
of the call from Polly at Maugham & Crichton, and because of the astounding
display put on by the poltergeist, be knew that everything was wrong;
there was no chance whatsoever that he would reach the cabin only to discover
that all was peaceful. He would be walking into a nightmare of one kind or
another. No doubt about it. So he opened the suitcase on the garage floor
beside the car, took out the loaded revolver, and left the rest of his stuff
behind.
As he was backing out of the driveway, he saw
Grace Mitowski’s blue Ford turn the corner, too fast. It angled toward the curb
in front of the house, scraping its sidewalls so badly that blue-white smoke
rose from them.
Grace was out of the car the instant it
stopped. She rushed to the Pontiac, moving faster than Paul had seen her move
in years. She pulled open the front, passenger-side door and leaned in. Her
hair was in complete disarray. Her face was eggshell white and spattered with
blood.
“Good God, Grace, what’s happened to you?”
“Where’s Carol?”
“She went to the cabin.”
“Already?”
“This morning.”
“Damn? Exactly when?’
"Three hours ago.”
Grace’s eyes contained a haunted expression.
“The girl went with her?”
“Yes.”
She closed her eyes, and Paul could see she
was on the edge of panic, trying to deal with it and calm herself. She opened
her eyes and said, “We’ve got to go after them.”
“That’s where I’m headed.”
He saw her eyes widen as she noticed the
revolver lying on the car seat beside him, the muzzle pointed forward, toward
the dashboard.
She raised her eyes from the gun to his face.
“You know what’s happening?” she asked, surprised.
“Not really,” he said, putting the gun in the
glove compartment. “All I know for sure is that Carol’s in trouble. Damned
serious trouble.”
“It’s not just Carol we’ve got to worry
about,” Grace said. “It’s both of them.”
“Both? The girl, you mean? But I think the
girl’s the one who’s going to—”
“Yes,” Grace said. “She’s going to try to
kill Carol. But she might be the one who ends up dead. Like before.”
She got in the car and pulled the door shut.
“Like before?” Paul said. “I don’t—” He saw
her blood-crusted hand. “That needs medical attention.”
“There’s no time.”
“What the hell’s happening?” he demanded, his
fear for Carol briefly giving way to frustration.” I know something strange is
going on, but I don’t know what in Christ’s name it is.”
“I do,” she said. “I know. In fact I know a
lot more than maybe I want to know.”
“If you’ve got anything that makes sense,
anything concrete,” he said, “we should call the cops. They can put in a call
to the sheriff’s department up there and get help sent out to the cabin real
fast, faster than we can get there.”
“What I’ve got, my information, is harder
than concrete, so far as I’m concerned,” Grace said. “But the police wouldn’t
see it the same way I do. They’d say I was just a senile old fool. They’d want
to lock me up in a nice safe place for my own good. At best, they’d laugh at
me.”
He thought about the poltergeist—the sound of
the ax, the splintering door, the airborne ceramic figurines, the toppling
chairs—and he said, “Yeah. I know exactly what you mean.”
“We’ll have to handle this ourselves,” Grace
said. “Let’s get rolling. I can tell you everything I know on the way. Each
minute we waste, I just get sicker and sicker, thinking about what might be
happening in the mountains.”
Paul backed the car into the street and drove
away from the house, heading for the nearest freeway entrance. When he was on
the open highway, he floored the accelerator, and the car rocketed ahead.
“How long does it usually take to get there?”
Grace asked.
“About two hours and fifteen minutes.”
“Too long.”
“We’ll do better than that.”
The speedometer needle touched eighty.
12
THEY had brought a lot of food in cardboard
cartons and ice chests. They transferred all of those items to the cupboards
and refrigerator, agreeing to forgo lunch altogether in order to indulge
themselves guiltlessly in a glutton’s dinner.
“All right,” Carol said, producing a list
from one of the kitchen drawers, “here’s what we need to do to make this place
livable.” She read from the list:
“Remove plastic dropcloths from furniture;
dust
everything; scrub the kitchen sink; clean the
bathroom; and put sheets and blankets on the beds.”
“You call this a vacation?” Jane
asked.
“What’s wrong? Doesn’t that sound like a fun
agenda to you?”
“Thrilling.”
“Well, the cabin’s not enormous. The two of
us will go through the list of chores in an hour or an hour and a half.”
They had barely started when they were
interrupted by a knock at the door. It was Vince Gervis, the colony’s
caretaker. He was a big, barrel-chested man with enormous shoulders, enormous
biceps, enormous hands, and a smile to match the rest of him.
“Just makin’ my rounds,” he said. “Saw your
car. Thought I’d say hello.” Carol introduced him to Jane and said she was a
niece (a convenient white lie), and there was some polite chitchat, and then
Gervis said, “Dr. Tracy, where’s the other Dr. Tracy? I’d like to give
him my best, too.”
“Oh, he isn’t with us right now,” Carol said.
“He’s coming up on Sunday, after he finishes some important work he couldn’t
just put aside.”
Gervis frowned.
Carol said, “Is something wrong?”
“Well. . . me and the missus was plannin’ to
go into town to do some shoppin’, maybe see a movie, eat a restaurant meal.
It’s what we generally do on Friday afternoons, you see. But there isn’t
another soul up here besides you and Jane. Will be tomorrow, bein’ as it’s a
Saturday, and seem’ as if the weather don’t get too bad so that everybody stays
to home. But there’s no one else so far today except you.”
“Don’t worry about us,” Carol said. “We’ll be
fine.
You and Peg go on into town like you
planned.”
“Well.. . I’m not sure I like the idea of you
two ladies out here all by your lonesome, twenty miles from other folks. No
sir, I don’t like it much.”
“Nobody’s going to bother us, Vince. The
road’s gated; you can’t even get in without a key card.”
“Anybody can walk in if he’s willin’
to go overland just a little ways.”
Carol required several minutes and a lot of
words to reassure him, but at last he decided that he and his wife would keep
to their usual Friday schedule.
Shortly after Vince left, the rains came. The
soft roar of a hundred million droplets striking a hundred million rustling
leaves was soothing to Carol.
But Jane found the noise somewhat unpleasant.
“I don’t know why,” she said, “but the sound
makes me think of fire. Hissing. . . just like a lot of flames eating up
everything in sight. Sizzle, sizzle, sizzle.. .“
The rain forced Paul to slow down to sixty,
which was still too fast for highway conditions, but the situation called for
the taking of some risks.
The windshield wipers thumped metronomically,
and the tires sang softly on the wet macadam.
The day was dark and growing darker. It
looked more like twilight than like midday. The wind blew obscuring curtains of
rain across the treacherously wet pavement, and the gray-brown road spray flung
up by other traffic hung in the air, a thick and dirty mist.
It seemed almost as if the Pontiac were a
tiny vessel sailing through the deep currents of a vast, cold sea, the only
pocket of warmth and light within a million miles.
Grace said, “You probably won’t believe what
I’ve got to tell you, and that would be understandable.”
“After what’s happened to me today,” Paul
said, “I’m ready to believe anything.”
And maybe that’s what the poltergeist
meant to do, he thought. Maybe it meant to prepare me for whatever story Grace
has to tell. In fact, if I hadn’t been delayed by the poltergeist, I would have
left the house before Grace arrived.
“I’ll keep it as simple and straightforward
as I can,” Grace said. “But it’s not a simple and straightforward matter.” She
cradled her torn left hand in her right hand; the bleeding had stopped, and the
cuts were all crusty, clotted. “It starts in 1865, in Shippensburg. The
family was named Havenswood.”
Paul glanced her, startled by the name.
She looked straight ahead, at the rain-sodden
land through which they were rushing. “The mother was Willa Havenswood, and the
daughter’s name was Laura. Those two didn’t get along well. Not well at all.
The fault was on both sides, and the reasons for their constant bickering
aren’t really important here. What’s important is that one day in the spring of
1865, Willa sent Laura into the cellar to do some spring cleaning, even though
she knew perfectly well that the girl was deathly afraid of the cellar. It was
punishment, you see. And while Laura was down there in the cellar, a fire broke
out upstairs. She was trapped and burned to death. She must have died blaming
her mother for putting her in that trap in the first place. Maybe she even
blamed Willa for starting the fire— which she didn’t. It was accidentally
started by Rachael Adams, Laura’s aunt. It’s even possible that Laura wondered
if her mother had started the fire on purpose, just to get rid of her.
The child had emotional problems; she was capable of melodramatic notions of
that sort. The mother had emotional problems, too; she was capable of inspiring
paranoia, for sure. Anyway, Laura died a gruesome death, and we can be
pretty certain that her last thought was an ardent wish for revenge. There was
no way she could have known that her mother perished in that fire, too!”
So that’s why the Havenswood identity didn’t
check out when Carol put the police on to it, Paul thought. They’d have had to
go all the way back to the 1800s in order to find the Havenswood family.
County records for that period probably don’t
even exist any more.
A slow-moving truck appeared out of the mists
ahead, and Paul passed it. For a moment the filthy spray from the truck’s big
tires drummed on the side of the Pontiac, and the noise was too loud for Grace
to speak above it.
When they had passed the truck, she said,
“Since 1865, Laura has been pursuing revenge through at least two and
probably three other lives. Reincarnation, Paul. Can you believe in that? Can
you believe that in 1943, Laura Havenswood was a fifteen-year-old girl named
Linda Bektermann and that the night before her sixteenth birthday she tried to
kill her mother, who was Willa Havenswood reincarnated?
It’s a true case. Linda Bektermann went
berserk and tried to ax her mother to death, but her mother turned the tables
and killed the girl instead. Laura didn’t get her revenge. And can you
believe that Willa is now alive again and that she’s our Carol this time? And
that Laura is alive again, too?”
“Jane?”
“Yes.”
Together, Carol and Jane cleaned the cabin in
an hour and fifteen minutes. Carol was delighted to see that the girl was an
industrious worker who took great pleasure in doing even a menial job well.
When they were finished, they poured two
glasses of Pepsi to reward themselves, and they sat in the two big easy chairs
that faced the mammoth fireplace.
“It’s too early to start cooking dinner,”
Jane said.
“And it’s too wet out there to go for a walk,
so what game do you want to play?”
“Anything that looks good to you is fine with
me. You can look over all the stuff in our game closet and take your pick. But
first, I think we really should get the therapy session out of the way.”
“Are we going to keep that up even on
vacation?”
the girl asked. She was clearly uneasy about
it, though she had not been noticeably uneasy before, even on the occasion of
the first session, the day before yesterday.
“Of course we’ve got to keep on with it,”
Carol said. “Now that we’ve made a start, it’s best to continue working at it,
pushing and probing a little bit every day.”
“Well. . . all right.”
“Good. Let’s turn these chairs around to face
each other.”
The fire flickered off to one side, creating
dancing shadows on the hearth.
Outside, the rain rattled ceaselessly through
the trees and pattered on the roof, and Carol realized that it did sound
like even more fire, as Jane had said, so that they seemed to be totally
surrounded by the hiss and crackle of flames.
She needed only a few seconds to put Jane
into a trance this time. But as had happened during the first session, the girl
needed almost two minutes to regress to a period at which memories existed for
her. This time the long silence didn’t disturb Carol as it had done before.
When the girl spoke at last, she used the
Laura voice. “Mama? Is that you? Is that you, Mama?”
“Laura?”
The girl’s eyes were squeezed shut. Her voice
was tight, tense. “Is that you? Is it you, Mama? Is it?”
“Relax,” Carol said.
Instead of relaxing, the girl became visibly
more tense. She hunched her shoulders, fisted her hands in her lap. Lines of
strain appeared in her forehead and at the corners of her mouth. She leaned
away from the back of her chair, toward Carol.
“I want you to answer some questions,” Carol
said. “But you must be calm and relaxed first. Now, you will do exactly as I
say. You will unclench your fists. You will—”
“I won’t!”
The girl’s eyes popped open. She leapt up out
of her chair and stood before Carol, quivering.
“Sit down, honey.”
“I won’t do what you say! I’m sick of doing
what you tell me to do, sick of your punishments.”
“Sit down,” Carol said softly but forcefully.
The girl glared at her. “You did it to me,”
she said in the Laura voice. “You put me down there in that awful place.”
Carol hesitated, then decided to flow with
it. “What place do you mean?”
“You know,” the girl said accusingly.
“I hate you.”
“Where is this awful place you spoke of?”
Carol persisted.
“The cellar.”
“What’s so awful about the cellar?”
Hatred seethed in the girl’s eyes. Her lips
were peeled back from her teeth in a feral snarl.
“Laura? Answer me. What’s so awful about the cellar?”
The girl slapped her across the face.
The blow stunned Carol. It was sharp,
painful, unexpected. For an instant she simply couldn’t believe that she
actually had been hit.
Then the girl hit her again. Backhanded.
And again. Harder than before.
Carol grabbed her adversary’s slender wrists,
but the girl wrenched loose. She kicked Carol in the shins, and when Carol
cried out and sagged for an instant, the girl went for her throat. Carol fended
her off, though not easily, and attempted to get up from the armchair. Jane
pushed her down and fell on top of her. She felt the girl bite her shoulder,
and suddenly her shock and confusion turned to fear. The chair tipped over, and
they both rolled onto the floor, flailing.
The flat land through which they had been
driving began to rise and form itself into gently rolling hills, but the
mountains were still a long way off.
If there had been any change in the weather
during the last half hour, it had been for the worse. Rain was falling harder
than ever; the hard, fat pellets of water shattered like glass on the roadway,
and the amorphous fragments bounced high. Paul kept the speedometer needle at
eighty.
“Reincarnation,” he said thoughtfully. “Just
a few minutes ago, I told you that I could believe anything today, but that’s
wild. Reincarnation? Where in the devil did you come by this theory?”
As the windshield wipers continued to thump,
and as the tires sang a shrill dirge on the rain-puddled pavement, Grace told
him about the telephone calls from Leonard, the visit from the long-dead
reporter, the prophetic dreams; she told him about the grim battle with
Aristophanes. “I am Rachael Adams, Paul. That other life had been revealed to
me so that I can stop this murderous cycle. Willa did not start the fire. I started
it accidentally. There is no reason for the girl to seek revenge. It’s all a
mistake, a dark misunderstanding. If I can talk to the girl, Jane, while she’s
regressed to her Laura phase, I can persuade her of the truth. I know I can. I
can stop all of this here, now, once and forever. Do you think I’m babbling?
Senile? I don’t believe I am. In fact, I know I’m not. And I suspect
you’ve had some strange experiences recently that confirm what I’m telling
you.”
“You hit that one on the head, all right,” he
told her.
Nevertheless, reincarnation—being born again
in a new body—it was a stunning, soul-shaking thing to accept. There is no
lasting death. Yes, that was much harder to accept than the existence of
poltergeists.
“Do you know about Millicent Parker?” he
asked her.
“Never heard the name,” Grace said.
The rain started falling even harder. He
turned the windshield wipers up to their highest speed.
“In 1905,” he told Grace, “Millie
Parker attempted to kill her mother—on the night before her sixteenth birthday.
Like the Linda Bektermann case, the mother ended up killing Millie, instead of
the other way around. Purely self-defense. And here’s what you might not
realize: Under hypnosis, Jane claimed to be Laura, Millie, and then Linda
Bektermann. But the names meant nothing to us.”
“And again, in the Millicent Parker case,”
Grace said, “the girl’s desire for revenge was frustrated. Yes. I knew there
must be another life between Laura and Linda.”
“But why this night-before-the-birthday thing
that keeps cropping up?”
“Laura was looking forward to her sixteenth
birthday with great eagerness,” Grace-Rachael said. “It was going to be the
best day of her life, she said. She had all sorts of plans for it—and for how
her life would be changed after she attained that magical age.
I think, somehow, she felt her mother’s
treatment of her would change once she was ‘grown up.’ But she died in the fire
before her birthday.”
“And in life after life, as her sixteenth
birthday approaches, the fear of her mother and the hatred of her mother wells
up from her subconscious.”
Grace nodded. “From the subconscious of the
girl she was in 1865, the girl—the identity—who is buried down at the
bottom of Jane’s psyche.”
They rode in silence for a minute or two.
Paul’s hands were sweaty on the steering
wheel.
His mind spun as he tried to absorb the story
she had told, and he had that old feeling of balancing on a tightrope high
above a deep, deep, dark chasm.
Then he said, “But Carol isn’t Jane’s
mother.”
“You’ve forgotten something,” Grace said.
“What?”
“Carol had a child out of wedlock when she
was a teenager. I know she told you all about it. I’m giving away no secrets.”
Paul’s stomach quivered. He was cold all the
way into the marrow of his bones. “My God. You mean. . . Jane is the child that
Carol put up for adoption.”
“I have no proof of it,” Grace said. “But I
bet that when the police spread their search nets wide enough, when they
finally locate the girl’s parents in some other state, we’ll learn that she’s
adopted. And that Carol is her natural mother.”
For what seemed like an eternity, they
struggled on the floor by the hearth, grunting, twisting, the girl throwing
punches, Carol trying to resist without hurting her. At last, when it became
clear that Carol was unquestionably the stronger of the two and would
eventually gain control of the situation, the girl shoved away from her,
scrambled up, kicked her in the thigh, and ran out of the room, into the
kitchen.
Carol was shocked and dazed both by the
girl’s unexpected violence and by the maniacal power of the blows. Her face
stung, and she knew her cheeks were going to bruise. Her bitten shoulder was
bleeding; a large, damp, red stain was spreading slowly down the from of her
blouse.
She got up, swayed unsteadily for a moment.
Then she went after the girl. “Honey, wait!”
In the distance, outside the house, Laura’s
voice rose in a sharp, shrill scream: “I haaaaaate you!”
Carol reached the kitchen, leaned against the
refrigerator. The girl was gone. The back door was open.
The sound of the rain was very loud.
She hurried to the door and looked out at the
rear lawn, at the small meadow, at the forest that crowded in at the edge of
the meadow. The girl had disappeared.
“Jane! Laura!”
Millicent? She wondered. Linda? What on earth
should I call her?
She crossed the porch and went down the steps
into the yard, into the pelting, cold rain. She turned right, then left, not
sure where to look first.
Then Jane appeared. The girl came out of the
woodshed at the southwest corner of the cabin. She was carrying an ax.
***
“... and Carol is her natural mother.”
Grace’s words echoed and reechoed in Paul’s
head.
For a moment he was incapable of speech.
He stared ahead, shocked, not really seeing
the road, and he nearly ran up the back end of a sluggishly moving Buick. He
jammed on his brakes. He and Grace were thrown forward, testing their seat
belts. He slowed down until he could regain control of himself.
Finally, the words burst out of him like
machine-gun fire: “But how in the hell did the kid find out who her real mother
was, they don’t give out that kind of information to children her age, how did
she get here from whatever state she was living in, how did she track us down
and make it all happen like this? Good Christ, she did step in front of
Carol’s car on purpose. It was a setup. The whole damned thing was a setup!”
“I don’t know how she found her way to
Carol,” Grace said. “Maybe her parents knew who the child’s natural mother was,
and kept the name around in the family records, in case the girl ever wanted to
know it when she grew up. Perhaps not. Perhaps anything. Maybe she was simply
drawn to Carol by the same forces that tried to get to me through Aristophanes.
That might explain why she appeared to be in a daze before she stepped in front
of the car. But I don’t really know. Maybe we’ll never know.”
“Oh, shit,” Paul said, and his voice wavered.
“Oh, no, no. Goddamn!”
“What?”
“You know how Carol is on that day,”
he said shakily. “The day her baby was born, the baby she gave up. She’s
different from the way she is every other day of the year. Depressed,
withdrawn. It’s always such a bad day for her that the date’s engraved on my
memory.”
“On mine, too,” Grace said.
“It’s tomorrow,” he said. “If Jane is Carol’s
child, she’ll be sixteen tomorrow.”
“Yes.”
“And she’ll try to kill Carol today.”
***
Sheets of dark rain rippled and flapped like
wind-whipped canvas tents.
Carol stood on the soggy lawn, unable to
move, numbed by fear, frozen by the cold rain.
Twenty feet away, the girl stood with the ax,
gripping it in both hands. Her drenched hair hung straight to her shoulders,
and her clothes were pasted to her.
She appeared to be oblivious to the storm and
the chilly air. Her eyes were owlish, as if she were high on amphetamine, and
her face was distorted by rage.
“Laura?” Carol said at last. “Listen to me.
You will listen to me. You will drop the ax.”
“You stinking, rotten bitch,” the girl said
through tightly clenched teeth.
Lightning cracked open the sky, and the
falling rain glittered for a moment in the stroboscopic flashes that came
through from the other side of the heavens.
When the subsequent thunder rolled away and
Carol could be heard, she said, “Laura, I want you to—’,
“I hate you!” the girl said, She took one
step toward Carol.
“Stop this right now,” Carol said, refusing
to retreat. “You will be calm. You will relax.”
The girl took another step.
“Drop the ax,” Carol insisted. “Honey, listen to me. You will listen
to me. You are only in a trance. You are—”
“I’m going to get you this time, Mama. This
time I’m not going to lose.”
“I’m not your mother,” Carol said. “Laura,
you are-”
“I’m going to cut your goddamn head off this
time, you bitch!”
The voice had changed.
It wasn’t Laura’s now.
It belonged to Linda Bektermann, the third
identity.
“I’m going to cut your goddamn head off and
put it on the kitchen table with Daddy’s.”
With a jolt, Carol recalled last week’s
nightmare.
There had been a moment in the dream when she
had stepped into the kitchen and had encountered two severed heads on the
table, a man’s and a woman’s. But how could Jane know what had been in that
nightmare?
Carol finally took a step backwards, then
another. Although the rain was cold, she began to sweat.
“I’m only going to tell you one more time,
Linda. You must put the ax down and—”
“I’m going to cut your head off and chop you
into a thousand little pieces,” the girl said.
And the voice now belonged to Jane.
It wasn’t the voice of an identity heretofore
only evident in a trance. This was Jane’s voice. She had come out of the
trance on her own power. She knew who she was. She knew who Carol was. And she still
wanted to use the ax.
Carol edged toward the back porch steps.
The girl quickly circled in that direction,
blocking access to the cabin. Then she started toward Carol, moving fast,
grinning.
Carol turned and ran toward the meadow.
In spite of the pounding rain, which snapped
with bulletlike power into the windshield, in spite of the dirty mist that hung
over the road, in spite of the treacherously greasy pavement, Paul slowly
pressed the accelerator all the way to the floor and swung the Pontiac into the
passing lane.
“It’s a mask,” he said.
Grace said, “What do you mean?”
“The Jane Doe identity, the Linda Bektermann
and Millie Parker identities—each of them was just a mask. A very real, very
convincing mask. But a mask nonetheless. Behind the mask there was always the
same face, the same person. Laura.”
“And we’ve got to put an end to the
masquerade once and for all,” Grace said. “If I can just talk to her as her
Aunt Rachael, I’ll be able to stop this madness. I’m sure I will, She’ll listen
to me.. . to Rachael. That’s who she was closest to. Closer than she was to her
mother. I can make her understand that her mother, Willa, didn’t intentionally
or even accidentally start that fire back in 1865. At last she’ll
understand. She’ll see that there’s no justification for revenge. The cycle
will come to an end.”
“If we’re in time,” Paul said.
“If,” Grace said.
***
Carol ran through the stinging rain and
through the knee-high grass. She ran up the sloping meadow, her arms tucked in
close to her side, legs pumping high, gasping for breath, each stride jarring
her to the bones.
Ahead lay the forest, which seemed to be her
only salvation. There were thousand of places to hide in the wilderness,
countless trails on which she could lose the girl. After all, she was somewhat
familiar with the land, but to the girl it was a strange place.
Halfway across the meadow, she risked a
glance behind her. The girl was only fifteen feet away.
Lightning slashed through the bellies of the
clouds, and the blade of the ax flashed once, twice, with a brilliant
reflection of that icy electric glow.
Carol looked straight ahead once more and
redoubled her efforts to reach the trees. The meadow was wet, spongy, and in
some places slippery. She expected to fall or at least twist an ankle, but she
reached the perimeter of the forest without trouble.
She plunged in among the trees, among the
purple and brown and black shadows, into the lush undergrowth, and she began to
think there was a chance— maybe only a very small chance, but a chance
nonetheless—that she would come out of this alive.
***
Hunching over the steering wheel, squinting
at the ram-swept highway, Paul said, “I want one thing perfectly clear between
us.”
Grace said, “What’s that?”
“Carol’s my first concern.”
“Of course.”
“If we walk into the middle of a nasty
situation at the cabin, I’ll do whatever’s necessary to protect Carol.”
Grace glanced at the glove compartment. “You
mean. . . the gun.”
“Yes. If! have to, if there’s no other way,
I’ll use it, Grace. I’ll shoot the girl if there’s no other choice.”
“It’s unlikely that we’ll walk into the
middle of a
confrontation,” Grace said. “Either it won’t
have begun yet—or it’ll all be over with by the time we get there.”
“I won’t let her hurt Carol,” he said grimly.
“And if worse comes to worst, I don’t want you trying to stop me.”
“There are some things you should consider,”
Grace said.
“What?”
“First of all, it’ll be just as tragic if
Carol kills the girl. And that’s the pattern, after all. Both Millie and Linda
attacked their mothers, but they were the ones killed. What if that
happens this time? What if Carol is forced to kill the girl in self-defense?
You know she’s never stopped feeling guilty about putting the baby up for
adoption. She carries that on her shoulders sixteen years after the fact. So
what will happen when she discovers she’s killed her own daughter?”
“It’ll destroy her,” he said without
hesitation.
“I think it very well might. And what’ll it
do to your relationship with Carol if you kill her daughter, even if you
do it to save Carol’s life?”
He thought about that for a moment. Then he
said,
“It might destroy us, and he
shuddered.
***
For a while, no matter how tortuous the path
she followed through the woods, Carol could not lose the girl. She switched from
one natural trail to another, crossed a small stream, doubled back the way she
had come. She moved in a crouch at all times, staying out of sight below the
brush line. She made no sound that could be heard above the constant hissing of
the rain Most of the time she carefully stepped on old leaves or made her way
from stone to stone, from log to log, leaving no footprints, in the damp, bare
earth. Yet Jane pursued her with uncanny confidence, without hesitation, as if
she were part bloodhound.
At last, however, Carol was certain she had
lost the girl. She squatted under a huge pine, leaned back against the damp
bark, and breathed deeply, rapidly, raggedly, while waiting for her heart to
stop racing.
A minute passed. Two. Five.
The only sound was the rain drizzling down
through the leaves and through the interlaced pine needles.
She became aware of the dank odor of heavy
vegetation—moss and fungus and forest grass and more.
Nothing moved.
She was safe, at least for now.
But she couldn’t just sit beneath the tall
pine, waiting for help to arrive. Eventually, Jane would stop searching for her
and would try to find a way back to the cabin. If the girl didn’t get
lost—which she most likely would do—if she somehow managed to return to the
cabin, and if she was still in a psychotic fugue when she got there, she might
murder the first person she encountered. If she took Vince Gervis by surprise,
even his great size and impressive muscles would be of no use against the blade
of an ax.
Carol stood up, moved away from the tree, and
began to circle back toward the cabin. The keys to the Volkswagen were in her
purse, and her purse was in one of the bedrooms. She had to get the keys, drive
into town, and ask the county sheriff for assistance.
What went wrong? she wondered. girl shouldn’t
have become violent. There was no indication that she was capable of such a
thing. The potential to kill simply was not a part of her psychological
profile. Paul was right to be worried. But why?
Proceeding with utmost caution, expecting the
girl to leap at her from behind every tree and bush, Carol needed fifteen
minutes to reach the edge of the forest at a point not far from the place at
which she had
entered the trees with the girl in hot
pursuit. The meadow was deserted. At the bottom of the slope, the cabin huddled
in the pouring rain.
The kid’s lost, Carol thought. All of that
twisting and turning and doubling back through unfamiliar territory was too
much for her. She’ll never find the way home by herself.
The sheriff’s men weren’t going to like this
one: a search in the rain, in the forest, for a violent girl who was armed with
an ax. No, they weren’t going to like this one at all.
Carol navigated the meadow at a run.
The rear door of the cabin was standing open,
just as she had left it.
She hurried inside, slammed the door, and
threw the bolt. Relief swept through her.
She swallowed a couple of times, caught her
breath, and crossed the kitchen to the door that led into the living room. She
was about to step across that threshold when she was stopped by a sudden,
terrible certainty that she was not alone.
She jumped back, spurred by intuition more
than anything else, and even as she moved, the ax swung in from the left,
through the doorway. It sliced the air where she had been. If she hadn’t moved,
she would have been cut in half.
The girl stepped into the room, brandishing
the ax. “Bitch.”
Carol backed to the door that she had just
latched.
She fumbled behind her for the bolt. Couldn’t
find it.
The girl closed in.
Whimpering, Carol turned to the door, seized
the
latch. She sensed the ax rising, into the air
behind her and knew she wouldn’t have time to open the door, and she jerked to
one side, and the blade bit into the door just where her head would have been.
With superhuman strength, the girl wrenched
the ax out of the wood.
Gasping, Carol ducked past her and ran into
the living room. She looked for something with which to defend herself. The
only thing available was a poker in the rack of fireplace tools. She grabbed
it.
Behind her, Jane said, “I hate you!”
Carol whirled.
The girl swung the ax.
Carol brought the poker up without any time
to spare, and it rang against the gleaming, viciously sharp blade, deflecting
the blow.
The impact rang back the length of the poker,
into Carol’s hands, numbing them. She couldn’t maintain her grip on the iron
rod; it fell from her tingling hands.
The impact did not ring back along the wooden
handle of the ax, and Jane still held that weapon with firm determination.
Carol backed up onto the wide hearth of the
stone fireplace. She could feel the heat against her legs.
She had nowhere else to run.
“Now,” Jane said. “Now. At last.”
She lifted the ax high, and Carol cried out
in anticipation of the pain, and the front door was flung open. It crashed
against the wall. Paul was there. And Grace.
The girl glanced at them but was not going to
be distracted; she brought the ax down toward Carol’s face.
Carol collapsed onto the hearth.
The ax struck the stone mantel over her head;
sparks flew.
Paul rushed at the girl, but she sensed him
coming. She turned toward him, slashed with the ax, and drove him back.
Then turned on Carol again.
“Cornered rat,” she said, grinning.
The ax came up.
This time it won’t miss, Carol thought.
Someone said, “Spiders!”
The girl froze.
The ax was suspended in midair.
“Spiders!” It was Grace. “There are spiders
on your back, Laura. Oh God, they’re all over your back. Spiders! Laura, look
out for the spiders!”
Carol watched, bewildered, as a look of stark
terror took possession of the girl’s face.
“Spiders!” Grace shouted again. “Big, black,
hairy spiders, Laura. Get them off! Get them off your back. Quick!”
The girl screamed and dropped the ax, which
clattered against the stone hearth. She brushed frantically at her back, twisting
her arms up behind her. She was snuffling and squealing like a very small
child. “Help me!”
“Spiders,” Grace said again, as Paul picked
up the ax and put it out of the way.
The girl tried to tear off her blouse. She
dropped to her knees, then fell onto her side, gibbering in terror. She writhed
on the floor, brushing imaginary spiders off her body. Within a minute
she seemed to be in a state of shock; she lay shuddering, weeping.
“She was always afraid of spiders,” Grace
said. “That was why she hated the cellar.”
"The cellar?” Carol asked.
“Where she died,” Grace said.
Carol didn’t understand. But at the moment
she didn’t care. She watched the girl writhing on the floor, and she suddenly
felt overwhelming pity for her. She knelt beside Jane, lifted her up, hugged
her.
“You okay?” Paul asked her.
She nodded.
“Spiders,” the girl said, quivering
uncontrollably.
“No, honey,” Carol said. “No spiders. There
aren’t any spiders on you. Not now. Not any more.” And she looked at Grace,
wondering.