STEPHEN
KING
THE
DARK TOWER II
THE
DRAWING
OF THE THREE
Illustrated
by Phil Hale
PLUME
Published by the
Penguin Group
Penguin Putnam
Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, U.S.A.
Penguin Books
Ltd, 27 Wrights Lane, London W8 5TZ, England
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Penguin Books
Ltd, Registered Offices: Harmondsworth, Middlesex, England
Published by
Plume, an imprint of Dutton Signet,
a member of
Penguin Putnam Inc.
Originally
published in a limited edition by Donald M. Grant, Publisher, Inc.,
West Kingston,
Rhode Island.
First Plume
Printing, March, 1989
5 7
9 11 13 12 10
8 6
Copyright ©
Stephen King, 1987
Illustrations copyright
© Phil Hale, 1987
All rights
reserved
REGISTERED
TRADEMARK—MARCA REGISTRADA
LIBRARY OF
CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA:
King, Stephen.
The drawing of
the three.
(The Dark tower;
2)
I. Title. II.
Series: King, Stephen.
Dark tower; 2..
PS3561.I483D74 1989
813'.54 88-28018
ISBN
0-452-27961-5
Printed in the
United States of America
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INFORMATION PLEASE WRITE TO PREMIUM MARKETING DIVISION,
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INC., 375 HUDSON STREET, NEW YORK, NEW YORK 10014.
To
Don Grant, who's taken a chance on these novels, one by one.
CONTENTS
ARGUMENT
prologue: the sailor
THE
PRISONER
1
• THE DOOR
2
• EDDIE DEAN
3
• CONTACT AND LANDING
4
• THE TOWER
5
• SHOWDOWN AND SHOOT-OUT
SHUFFLE
THE
LADY OF SHADOWS
1
• DETTA AND ODETTA
2
• RINGING THE CHANGES
3
• ODETTA ON THE OTHER SIDE
4
• DETTA ON THE OTHER SIDE
RESHUFFLE
THE
PUSHER
1
• BITTER MEDICINE
2
• THE HONEYPOT
3
• ROLAND TAKES HIS MEDICINE
4
• THE DRAWING
FINAL
SHUFFLE
AFTERWORD
ILLUSTRATIONS
DID-A-CHICK
ROLAND
ON
THE BEACH
SOUVENIR
WAITING
FOR ROLAND
DETTA
WAITNG
FOR THE PUSHER
NOTHING
BUT THE HILT
JACK
MORT
THE
GUNSLINGER
ARGUMENT
The Drawing of the
Three is the second volume of a long tale called The
Dark Tower, a tale inspired by and to some degree dependent upon Robert
Browning's narrative poem "Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came"
(which in its turn owes a debt to King Lear).
The first volume, The
Gunslinger, tells how Roland, the last gunslinger of a world which has
"moved on," finally catches up with the man in black ... a sorcerer
he has chased for a very long time—just how long we do not yet know. The
man in black turns out to be a fellow named Walter, who falsely claimed the
friendship of Roland's father in those days before the world moved on.
Roland's goal is not
this half-human creature but the Dark Tower; the man in black—and, more
specifically, what the man in black knows—is his first step on his road to
that mysterious place.
Who, exactly, is
Roland? What was his world like before it "moved on?" What is the
Tower, and why does he pursue it? We have only fragmentary answers. Roland is a
gunslinger, a kind of knight, one of those charged with holding a world Roland
remembers as being "filled with love and light" as it is; to keep it
from moving on.
We know that Roland
was forced to an early trial of manhood after discovering that his mother had
become the mistress of Marten, a much greater sorcerer than Walter (who,
unknown to Roland's father, is Marten's ally); we know Marten has planned
Roland's discovery, expecting Roland to fail and to be "sent West";
we know that Roland triumphs in his test.
What else do we know? That the gunslinger's
world is not completely unlike our own. Artifacts such as gasoline pumps and
certain songs ("Hey Jude," for instance, or the bit of doggerel that
begins "Beans, beans, the musical fruit . . .") have survived; so
have customs and rituals oddly like those from our own romanticized view of the
American west.
And there is an umbilicus which somehow connects
our world to the world of the gunslinger. At a way-station on a long-deserted
coach-road in a great and sterile desert, Roland meets a boy named Jake who died
in our world. A boy who was, in fact, pushed from a street-corner by the
ubiquitous (and iniquitous) man in black. The last thing Jake, who was on his
way to school with his book-bag in one hand and his • lunch-box in the other,
remembers of his world—our world— I is being crushed beneath the wheels
of a Cadillac . . . and dying.
Before reaching the man in black, Jake dies
again. . . this time because the gunslinger, faced with the second-most agonizing
choice of his life, elects to sacrifice this symbolic son. Given a choice
between the Tower and child, possibly between damnation and salvation, Roland
chooses the Tower.
"Go, then," Jake tells him before
plunging into the abyss. "There are other worlds than these."
The final confrontation between Roland and Walter
occurs in a dusty golgotha of decaying bones. The dark man tells Roland's
future with a deck of Tarot cards. These cards, showing a man called The
Prisoner, a woman called The Lady of Shadows, and a darker shape that is simply
Death ("but not for you, gunslinger," the man in black tells him),
are prophecies which become the subject of this volume. . . and Roland's
second step on the long and difficult path to the Dark Tower.
The Gunslinger end?, with Roland sitting upon
the beach of the Western Sea, watching the sunset. The man in black is dead,
the gunslinger's own future course unclear; The Drawing of the Three begins
on that same beach, less than seven hours later.
-PROLOGUE:
THE
SAILOR
PROLOGUE
The gunslinger came awake from a confused dream
which seemed to consist of a single image: that of the Sailor in the Tarot deck
from which the man in black had dealt (or purported to deal) the gunslinger's
own moaning future.
He drowns, gunslinger, the man in black was
saying, and no one throws out the line. The boy Jake.
But this was no nightmare. It was a good dream.
It was good because he was the one drowning, and that meant he was not
Roland at all but Jake, and he found this a relief because it would be far
better to drown as Jake than to live as himself, a man who had, for a cold
dream, betrayed a child who had trusted him.
Good, all right, I'll drown, he thought, listening to
the roar of the sea. Let me drown. But this was not the sound of the
open deeps; it was the grating sound of water with a throatful of stones. Was
he the Sailor? If so, why was land so close? And, in fact, was he not on
the land? It felt as if—
Freezing cold water doused his boots and ran up
his legs to his crotch. His eyes flew open then, and what snapped him out of
the dream wasn't his freezing balls, which had suddenly shrunk to what felt
like the size of walnuts, nor even the horror to his right, but the thought of
his guns. . . his guns, and even more important, his shells. Wet guns could be
quickly disassembled, wiped dry, oiled, wiped dry again, oiled again, and
re-assembled; wet shells, like wet matches, might or might not ever be usable
again.
The horror was a crawling thing which must have
been cast up by a previous wave. It dragged a wet, gleaming body laboriously
along the sand. It was about four feet long and about four yards to the right.
It regarded Roland with bleak eyes on stalks. Its long serrated beak dropped
open and it began to make a noise that was weirdly like human speech:
plaintive, even desperate questions in an alien tongue. "Did-a-chick?
Dum-a-chum? Dad-a-cham? Ded-a-check?"
The gunslinger had seen lobsters. This wasn't
one, although lobsters were the only things he had ever seen which this creature
even vaguely resembled. It didn't seem afraid of him at all. The gunslinger
didn't know if it was dangerous or not. He didn't care about his own mental
confusion—his temporary inability to remember where he was or how he had gotten
there, if he had actually caught the man in black or if all that had only been
a dream. He only knew he had to get away from the water before it could drown
his shells.
He heard the grinding, swelling roar of water
and looked from the creature (it had stopped and was holding up the claws with
which it had been pulling itself along, looking absurdly like a boxer assuming
his opening stance, which, Cort had taught them, was called The Honor Stance)
to the incoming breaker with its curdle of foam.
It hears the wave, the gunslinger thought. Whatever
it is, it's got ears. He tried to get up, but his legs, too numb to feel,
buckled under him.
I'm still dreaming, he thought, but even in
his current confused state this was a belief much too tempting to really be
believed. He tried to get up again, almost made it, then fell back. The wave
was breaking. There was no time again. He had to settle for moving in much the
same way the creature on his right seemed to move: he dug in with both hands
and dragged his butt up the stony shingle, away from the wave.
He didn't progress enough to avoid the wave
entirely, but he got far enough for his purposes. The wave buried nothing but
his boots. It reached almost to his knees and then retreated. Perhaps the
first one didn't go as far as I thought. Perhaps—
There was a half-moon in the sky. A caul of mist
covered it, but it shed enough light for him to see that the holsters were too
dark. The guns, at least, had suffered a wetting. It was impossible to tell how
bad it had been, or if either the shells currently in the cylinders or those in
the crossed gunbelts had also been wetted. Before checking, he had
to get away from the water. Had to—
"Dod-a-chock?"
This was much closer. In his worry over the water he had
forgotten the creature the water had cast up. He looked around and saw it was
now only four feet away. Its claws were buried in the stone- and shell-littered
sand of the shingle, pulling its body along. It lifted its meaty, serrated
body, making it momentarily resemble a scorpion, but Roland could see no
stinger at the end of its body.
Another grinding roar,
this one much louder. The creature immediately stopped and raised its claws
into its own peculiar version of the Honor Stance again.
This wave was bigger.
Roland began to drag himself up the slope of the strand again, and when he put
out his hands, the clawed creature moved with a speed of which its previous
movements had not even hinted.
The gunslinger felt a
bright flare of pain in his right hand, but there was no time to think about
that now. He pushed with the heels of his soggy boots, clawed with his hands,
and managed to get away from the wave.
"Did-a-chick?"
the monstrosity enquired in its plaintive Won't you help
me? Can't you see I am desperate? voice, and Roland saw the stumps of the
first and second fingers of his right hand disappearing into the creature's
jagged beak. It lunged again and Roland lifted his dripping right hand just in
time to save his remaining two fingers.
"Dum-a-chum? Dad-a-cham?"
The gunslinger
staggered to his feet. The thing tore open his dripping jeans, tore through a
boot whose old leather was soft but as tough as iron, and took a chunk of meat
from Roland's lower calf.
He drew with his right
hand, and realized two of the fingers needed to perform this ancient killing
operation were gone only when the revolver thumped to the sand.
The monstrosity
snapped at it greedily.
"No,
bastard!" Roland snarled, and kicked it. It was like kicking a block of
rock. . . one that bit. It tore away the end of Roland's right boot, tore away
most of his great toe, tore the boot itself from his foot.
The gunslinger bent,
picked up his revolver, dropped it, cursed, and finally managed. What had once
been a thing so easy it didn't even bear thinking about had suddenly become a
trick akin to juggling.
The creature was
crouched on the gunslinger's boot, tearing at it as it asked its garbled
questions. A wave rolled toward the beach, the foam which curdled its top
looking pallid and dead in the netted light of the half-moon. The lobstrosity
stopped working on the boot and raised its claws in that boxer's pose.
Roland drew with his
left hand and pulled the trigger three times. Click, click, click.
Now he knew about the
shells in the chambers, at least.
He bolstered the left
gun. To holster the right he had to turn its barrel downward with his left hand
and then let it drop into its place. Blood slimed the worn ironwood handgrips;
blood spotted the holster and the old jeans to which the holster was
thong-tied. It poured from the stumps where his fingers used to be.
His mangled right foot
was still too numb to hurt, but his right hand was a bellowing fire. The ghosts
of talented and long-trained fingers which were already decomposing in the
digestive juices of that thing's guts screamed that they were still there, that
they were burning.
I
see serious problems ahead, the gunslinger thought remotely.
The wave retreated.
The monstrosity lowered its claws, tore a fresh hole in the gunslinger's boot,
and then decided the wearer had been a good deal more tasty than this bit of
skin it had somehow sloughed off.
"Dud-a-chum?"
it asked, and scurried toward him with ghastly speed. The
gunslinger retreated on legs he could barely feel, realizing that the creature
must have some intelligence; it had approached him cautiously, perhaps from a
long way down the strand, not sure what he was or of what he might be capable.
If the dousing wave hadn't wakened him, the thing would have torn off his face
while he was still deep in his dream. Now it had decided he was not only tasty
but vulnerable; easy prey.
It was almost upon
him, a thing four feet long and a foot high, a creature which might weigh as
much as seventy pounds and which was as single-mindedly carnivorous as David,
the hawk he had had as a boy—but without David's dim vestige of loyalty.
The gunslinger's left
bootheel struck a rock jutting from the sand and he tottered on the edge of
falling.
"Dod-a-chock?"
the thing asked, solicitously it seemed, and peered at the
gunslinger from its stalky, waving eyes as its claws reached . . . and then a
wave came, and the claws went up again in the Honor Stance. Yet now they
wavered the slightest bit, and the gunslinger realized that it responded to the
sound of the wave, and now the sound was—for it, at least—fading a bit.
He stepped backward
over the rock, then bent down as the wave broke upon the shingle with its
grinding roar. His head was inches from the insectile face of the creature. One
of its claws might easily have slashed the eyes from his face, but its
trembling claws, so like clenched fists, remained raised to either side of its
parrotlike beak.
The gunslinger reached
for the stone over which he had nearly fallen. It was large, half-buried in the
sand, and his mutilated right hand howled as bits of dirt and sharp edges of
pebble ground into the open bleeding flesh, but he yanked the rock free and
raised it, his lips pulled away from his teeth.
"Dad-a—" the
monstrosity began, its claws lowering and opening as the wave broke and its
sound receded, and the gunslinger swept the rock down upon it with all his
strength.
There was a crunching
noise as the creature's segmented back broke. It lashed wildly beneath the
rock, its rear half lifting and thudding, lifting and thudding. Its
interrogatives became buzzing exclamations of pain. Its claws opened and shut
upon nothing. Its maw of a beak gnashed up clots of sand and pebbles.
And yet, as another
wave broke, it tried to raise its claws again, and when it did the gunslinger
stepped on its head with his remaining boot. There was a sound like many small
dry twigs being broken. Thick fluid burst from beneath the heel of Roland's
boot, splashing in two directions. It looked black.
The thing arched and
wriggled in a frenzy. The gunslinger planted his boot harder.
A wave came.
The monstrosity's
claws rose an inch . . . two inches . . . trembled and then fell, twitching
open and shut.
The gunslinger removed
his boot. The thing's serrated beak, which had separated two fingers and one
toe from his living body, slowly opened and closed. One antenna lay broken on
the sand. The other trembled meaninglessly.
The gunslinger stamped
down again. And again.
He kicked the rock
aside with a grunt of effort and marched along the right side of the
monstrosity's body, stamping methodically with his left boot, smashing its
shell, squeezing its pale guts out onto dark gray sand. It was dead, but he
meant to have his way with it all the same; he had never, in all his long
strange time, been so fundamentally hurt, and it had all been so unexpected.
He kept on until he
saw the tip of one of his own fingers in the dead thing's sour mash, saw the
white dust beneath the nail from the golgotha where he and the man in black had
held their long palaver, and then he looked aside and vomited.
The gunslinger walked
back toward the water like a drunken man, holding his wounded hand against his
shirt, looking back from time to time to make sure the thing wasn't still
alive, like some tenacious wasp you swat again and again and still twitches, stunned
but not dead; to make sure it wasn't following, asking its alien questions in
its deadly despairing voice.
Halfway down the
shingle he stood swaying, looking at the place where he had been, remembering.
He had fallen asleep, apparently, just below the high tide line. He grabbed his
purse and his torn boot.
In the moon's glabrous
light he saw other creatures of the same type, and in the caesura between one
wave and the next, heard their questioning voices.
The gunslinger
retreated a step at a time, retreated until he reached the grassy edge of the
shingle. There he sat down, and did all he knew to do: he sprinkled the stumps
of fingers and toe with the last of his tobacco to stop the bleeding, sprinkled
it thick in spite of the new stinging (his missing great toe had joined the
chorus), and then he only sat, sweating in the chill, wondering about
infection, wondering how he would make his way in this world with two fingers
on his right hand gone (when it came to the guns both hands had been equal, but
in all other things his right had ruled), wondering if the thing had some
poison in its bite which might already be working its way into him, wondering
if morning would ever come.
CHAPTER
1
THE
DOOR
1
Three. This is the number of your fate.
Three?
Yes, three is mystic. Three stands at the heart
of the mantra.
Which three?
The first is dark-haired. He stands on the brink
of robbery and murder. A demon has infested him. The name of the demon is
HEROIN.
Which demon is that? I
know it not, even from nursery stories.
He tried to speak but his voice was gone, the
voice of the oracle, Star-Slut, Whore of the Winds, both were gone; he saw a
card fluttering down from nowhere to now here, turning and turning in the lazy
dark. On it a baboon grinned from over the shoulder of a young man with dark
hair; its disturbingly human fingers were buried so deeply in the young man's
neck that their tips had disappeared in flesh. Looking more closely, the
gunslinger saw the baboon held a whip in one of those clutching, strangling
hands. The face of the ridden man seemed to writhe in wordless terror.
The Prisoner, the
man in black (who had once been a man the gunslinger trusted, a man named
Walter) whispered chummily. A trifle upsetting, isn't he? A trifle upsetting
... a trifle upsetting ... a trifle—
2
The gunslinger snapped
awake, waving at something with his mutilated hand, sure that in a moment one
of the monstrous shelled things from the Western Sea would drop on him,
desperately enquiring in its foreign tongue as it pulled his face off his
skull.
Instead a sea-bird,
attracted by the glister of the morning sun on the buttons of his shirt,
wheeled away with a frightened squawk.
Roland sat up.
His hand throbbed
wretchedly, endlessly. His right foot did the same. Both fingers and toe
continued to insist they were there. The bottom half of his shirt was gone;
what was left resembled a ragged vest. He had used one piece to bind his hand,
the other to bind his foot.
Go away, he
told the absent parts of his body. You are ghosts now. Go away.
It helped a little.
Not much, but a little. They were ghosts, all right, but lively ghosts.
The gunslinger ate
jerky. His mouth wanted it little, his stomach less, but he insisted. When it
was inside him, he felt a little stronger. There was not much left, though; he
was nearly up against it.
Yet things needed to
be done.
He rose unsteadily to
his feet and looked about. Birds swooped and dived, but the world seemed to
belong to only him and them. The monstrosities were gone. Perhaps they were
nocturnal; perhaps tidal. At the moment it seemed to make no difference.
The sea was enormous,
meeting the horizon at a misty blue point that was impossible to determine. For
a long moment the gunslinger forgot his agony in its contemplation. He had
never seen such a body of water. Had heard of it in children's stories, of
course, had even been assured by his teachers—some, at least—that it
existed—but to actually see it, this immensity, this amazement of water after
years of arid land, was difficult to accept. . . difficult to even see.
He looked at it for a
long time, enrapt, making himself see it, temporarily forgetting his
pain in wonder.
But it was morning,
and there were still things to be done.
He felt for the
jawbone in his back pocket, careful to lead with the palm of his right hand,
not wanting the stubs of his fingers to encounter it if it was still there,
changing that hand's ceaseless sobbing to screams.
It was.
All right.
Next.
He clumsily unbuckled
his gunbelts and laid them on a sunny rock. He removed the guns, swung the
chambers out, and removed the useless shells. He threw them away. A bird
settled on the bright gleam tossed back by one of them, picked it up in its
beak, then dropped it and flew away.
The guns themselves
must be tended to, should have been tended to before this, but since no gun in
this world or any other was more than a club without ammunition, he laid the
gunbelts themselves over his lap before doing anything else and carefully ran
his left hand over the leather.
Each of them was damp
from buckle and clasp to the point where the belts would cross his hips; from
that point they seemed dry. He carefully removed each shell from the dry
portions of the belts. His right hand kept trying to do this job, insisted on
forgetting its reduction in spite of the pain, and he found himself returning
it to his knee again and again, like a dog too stupid or fractious to heel. In
his distracted pain he came close to swatting it once or twice.
I see serious problems
ahead, he thought again.
He put these shells,
hopefully still good, in a pile that was dishearteningly small. Twenty. Of
those, a few would almost certainly misfire. He could depend on none of them.
He removed the rest and put them in another pile. Thirty-seven.
Well, you weren't
heavy loaded, anyway, he thought, but he recognized the
difference between fifty-seven live rounds and what might be twenty. Or ten. Or
five. Or one. Or none.
He put the dubious
shells in a second pile.
He still had his
purse. That was one thing. He put it in his lap and then slowly disassembled
his guns and performed the ritual of cleaning. By the time he was finished, two
hours had passed and his pain was so intense his head reeled with it; conscious
thought had become difficult. He wanted to sleep. He had never wanted that more
in his life/But in the service of duty there was never
any acceptable reason for denial.
"Cort," he
said in a voice that he couldn't recognize, and laughed dryly.
Slowly, slowly, he
reassembled his revolvers and loaded them with the shells he presumed to be
dry. When the job was done, he held the one made for his left hand, cocked
it... and then slowly lowered the hammer again. He wanted to know, yes. Wanted
to know if there would be a satisfying report when he squeezed the trigger or
only another of those useless clicks. But a click would mean nothing, and a
report would only reduce twenty to nineteen... or nine... or three... or none.
He tore away another
piece of his shirt, put the other shells—the ones which had been wetted—in it,
and tied it, using his left hand and his teeth. He put them in his purse.
Sleep, his
body demanded. Sleep, you must sleep, now, before dark, there's nothing
left, you're used up—
He tottered to his
feet and looked up and down the deserted strand. It was the color of an
undergarment which has gone a long time without washing, littered with
sea-shells which had no color. Here and there large rocks protruded from the
gross-grained sand, and these were covered with guano, the older layers the
yellow of ancient teeth, the fresher splotches white.
The high-tide line was
marked with drying kelp. He could see pieces of his right boot and his
waterskins lying near that line. He thought it almost a miracle that the skins
hadn't been washed out to sea by high-surging waves. Walking slowly, limping
exquisitely, the gunslinger made his way to where they were. He picked up one
of them and shook it by his ear. The other was empty. This one still had a
little water left in it. Most would not have been able to tell the difference
between the two, but the gunslinger knew each just as well as a mother knows
which of her identical twins is which. He had been travelling with these
waterskins for a long, long time. Water sloshed inside. That was good—a gift.
Either the creature which had attacked him or any of the others could have
torn this or the other open with one casual bite or slice of claw, but none had
and the tide had spared it. Of the creature itself there was no sign, although
the two of them had finished far above the tide-line. Perhaps other predators
had taken it; perhaps its own kind had given it a burial at sea, as the elaphaunts,
giant creatures of whom he had heard in childhood stories, were reputed to
bury their own dead.
He lifted the
waterskin with his left elbow, drank deeply, and felt some strength come back
into him. The right boot was of course ruined. . . but then he felt a spark of
hope. The foot itself was intact—scarred but intact—and it might be possible to
cut the other down to match it, to make something which would last at least
awhile. . . .
Faintness stole over
him. He fought it but his knees unhinged and he sat down, stupidly biting his
tongue.
You won't fall
unconscious, he told himself grimly. Not here, not where
another of those things can come back tonight and finish the job.
So he got to his feet
and tied the empty skin about his waist, but he had only gone twenty yards back
toward the place where he had left his guns and purse when he fell down again,
half-fainting. He lay there awhile, one cheek pressed against the sand, the
edge of a seashell biting against the edge of his jaw almost deep enough to
draw blood. He managed to drink from the waterskin, and then he crawled back to
the place where he had awakened. There was a Joshua tree twenty yards up the
slope—it was stunted, but it would offer at least some shade.
To Roland the twenty
yards looked like twenty miles.
Nonetheless, he
laboriously pushed what remained of his possessions into that little puddle of
shade. He lay there with his head in the grass, already fading toward what
could be sleep or unconsciousness or death. He looked into the sky and tried to
judge the time. Not noon, but the size of the puddle of shade in which he
rested said noon was close. He held on a moment longer, turning his right arm
over and bringing it close to his eyes, looking for the telltale red lines of
infection, of some poison seeping steadily toward the middle of him.
The palm of his hand
was a dull red. Not a good sign.
I
jerk off left-handed, he thought, at least that's something.
Then darkness took
him, and he slept for the next sixteen hours with the sound of I he Western Sea
pounding ceaselessly in his dreaming ears.
3
When the gunslinger
awoke again the sea was dark but there was faint light in the sky to the east.
Morning was on its way. He sat up and waves of dizziness almost overcame him.
He bent his head and
waited.
When the faintness had
passed, he looked at his hand. It was infected, all right—a tell-tale red
swelling that spread up the palm and to the wrist. It stopped there, but
already he could see the faint beginnings of other red lines, which would lead
eventually to his heart and kill him. He felt hot, feverish.
I need medicine, he
thought. But there is no medicine here.
Had he come this far
just to die, then? He would not. And if he were to die in spite of his
determination, he would die on his way to the Tower.
How remarkable you
are, gunslinger! the man in black tittered inside his
head. How indomitable! How romantic in your stupid obsession!
"Fuck you,'' he
croaked, and drank. Not much water left, either. There was a whole sea in front
of him, for all the good it could do him; water, water everywhere, but not a
drop to drink. Never mind.
He buckled on his
gunbelts, tied them—this was a process which took so long that before he was
done the first faint light of dawn had brightened to the day's actual
prologue—and then tried to stand up. He was not convinced he could do it until
it was done.
Holding to the Joshua
tree with his left hand, he scooped up the not-quite-empty waterskin with his
right arm and slung it over his shoulder.
Then his purse. When he
straightened the faintness washed over him again and he put his head down,
waiting, willing.
The faintness passed.
Walking with the
weaving, wavering steps of a man in the last stages of ambulatory drunkenness,
the gunslinger made his way back down to the strand. He stood, looking at an
ocean as dark as mulberry wine, and then took the last of his jerky from his
purse. He ate half, and this time both mouth and stomach accepted a little more
willingly. He turned and ate the other half as he watched the sun come up over
the mountains where Jake had died—first seeming to catch on the cruel and
treeless teeth of those peaks, then rising above them.
Roland held his face
to the sun, closed his eyes, and smiled. He ate the rest of his jerky.
He thought: Very
well. I am now a man with no food, with two less fingers and one less toe than
I was born with; I am a gunslinger with shells which may not fire; I am sickening
from a monster's bite and have no medicine; I have a day's water if I'm lucky;
I may be able to walk perhaps a dozen miles if I press myself to the last
extremity. I am, in short, a man on the edge of everything.
Which way should he
walk? He had come from the east; he could not walk west without the powers of a
saint or a savior. That left north and south.
North.
That was the answer
his heart told. There was no question in it.
North.
The gunslinger began
to walk.
4
He walked for three
hours. He fell twice, and the second time he did not believe he would be able
to get up again. Then a wave came toward him, close enough to make him remember
his guns, and he was up before he knew it, standing on legs that quivered like
stilts.
He thought he had
managed about four miles in those three hours. Now the sun was growing hot, but
not hot enough to explain the way his head pounded or the sweat pouring down
his face; nor was the breeze from the sea strong enough to explain the sudden
fits of shuddering which sometimes gripped him, making his body lump into
gooseflesh and his teeth chatter.
Fever, gunslinger, the
man in black tittered. What's left inside you has been touched afire.
The red lines of inlet
lion were more pronounced now; they had marched upward from his right wrist
halfway to his elbow.
He made another mile
and drained his waterbag dry. He tied it around his waist with the other. The
landscape was monotonous and unpleasing. The sea to his right, the mountains
to his left, the gray, shell-littered sand under the feet of his cut-down
boots. The waves came and went. He looked for the lobstrosities and saw none.
He walked out of nowhere toward nowhere, a man from another time who, it
seemed, had reached a point of pointless ending.
Shortly before noon he
fell again and knew he could not get up. This was the place, then. Here. This
was the end, after all.
On his hands and
knees, he raised his head like a groggy fighter . . . and some distance ahead,
perhaps a mile, perhaps three (it was difficult to judge distances along the
unchanging reach of the strand with the fever working inside him, making his
eyeballs pulse in and out), he saw something new. Something which stood
upright on the beach.
What was it?
(three)
Didn't matter.
(three is the number
of your fate)
The gunslinger managed
to get to his feet again. He croaked something, some plea which only the
circling sea-birds heard (and how happy they would be to gobble my eyes from
my head, he thought, how happy to have such a tasty bit!), and
walked on, weaving more seriously now, leaving tracks behind him that were
weird loops and swoops.
He kept his eyes on
whatever it was that stood on the strand ahead. When his hair fell in his eyes
he brushed it aside. It seemed to grow no closer. The sun reached the roof of
the sky, where it seemed to remain far too long. Roland imagined he was in the
desert again, somewhere between the last out-lander's hut
(the musical fruit the
more you eat the more you toot)
and the way-station
where the boy
(your Isaac)
had awaited his
coming.
His knees buckled,
straightened, buckled, straightened again. When his hair fell in his eyes once
more he did not bother to push it back; did not have the strength to push it
back. He looked at the object, which now cast a narrow shadow back toward the upland,
and kept walking.
He could make it out
now, fever or no fever.
It was a door.
Less than a quarter of
a mile from it, Roland's knees buckled again and this time he could not stiffen
their hinges. He fell, his right hand dragged across gritty sand and shells,
the stumps of his fingers screamed as fresh scabs were scored away. The stumps
began to bleed again.
So he crawled. Crawled
with the steady rush, roar, and retreat of the Western Sea in his ears. He used
his elbows and his knees, digging grooves in the sand above the twist of dirty
green kelp which marked the high-tide line. He supposed the wind was still
blowing—it must be, for the chills continued to whip through his body—but the
only wind he could hear was the harsh gale which gusted in and out of his own
lungs.
The door grew closer.
Closer.
At last, around three
o'clock of that long delirious day, with his shadow beginning to grow long on
his left, he reached it. He sat back on his haunches and regarded it wearily.
It stood six and a
half feet high and appeared to be made of solid ironwood, although the nearest
ironwood tree must grow seven hundred miles or more from here. The doorknob
looked as if it were made of gold, and it was filigreed with a design which the
gunslinger finally recognized: it was the grinning face of the baboon.
There was no keyhole
in the knob, above it, or below it.
The door had hinges,
but they were fastened to nothing— or so it seems, the gunslinger
thought. This is a mystery, a most marvellous mystery, but does it really matter?
You are dying. Your own mystery—the only one that really matters to any man or
woman in the end—approaches.
All the same, it did
seem to matter.
This door. This door
where no door should be. It simply stood there on the gray strand twenty feet
above the high tide line, seemingly as eternal as the sea itself, now casting
the slanted shadow of its thickness toward the east as the sun westered.
Written upon it in
black letters two-thirds of the way up, written in the high speech, were two
words:
THE
PRISONER
A demon has infested
him. The name of the demon is HEROIN.
The gunslinger could
hear a low droning noise. At first he thought it must be the wind or a sound in
his own feverish head, but he became more and more convinced that the sound was
the sound of motors . . . and that it was coming from behind the door.
Open it then. It's not
locked. You know it's not locked.
Instead he tottered
gracelessly to his feet and walked above the door and around to the other side.
There was no
other side.
Only the dark gray
strand, stretching back and back. Only the waves, the shells, the high-tide
line, the marks of his own approach—bootprints and holes that had been made by
his elbows. He looked again and his eyes widened a little. The door wasn't
here, but its shadow was.
He started to put out
his right hand—oh, it was so slow learning its new place in what was left of
his life—dropped it, and raised his left instead. He groped, feeling for hard
resistance.
If I feel it I'll
knock on nothing, the gunslinger thought. That would be
an interesting thing to do before dying!
His hand encountered
thin air far past the place where the door—even if invisible—should have been.
Nothing to knock on.
And the sound of
motors—if that's what it really had been—was gone. Now there was just the wind,
the waves, and the sick buzzing inside his head.
The gunslinger walked
slowly back to the other side of what wasn't there, already thinking it had
been a hallucination to start with, a—
He stopped.
At one moment he had
been looking west at an uninterrupted view of a gray, rolling wave, and then
his view was interrupted by the thickness of the door. He could see its
keyplate, which also looked like gold, with the latch protruding from it like
a stubby metal tongue. Roland moved his head an inch to the north and the door
was gone. Moved it back to where it had been and it was there again. It did not
appear; it was just there.
He walked all the way
around and faced the door, swaying.
He could walk around
on the sea side, but he was convinced that the same thing would happen, only
this time he would fall down.
I wonder if I could go
through it from the nothing side?
Oh, there were all
sorts of things to wonder about, but the truth was simple: here stood this door
alone on an endless stretch of beach, and it was for only one of two things:
opening or leaving closed.
The gunslinger
realized with dim humor that maybe he wasn't dying quite as fast as he thought.
If he had been, would he feel this scared?
He reached out and
grasped the doorknob with his left hand. Neither the deadly cold of the metal
or the thin, fiery heat of the runes engraved upon it surprised him.
He turned the knob.
The door opened toward him when he pulled.
Of all the things he
might have expected, this was not any of them.
The gunslinger looked,
froze, uttered the first scream of terror in his adult life, and slammed the
door. There was nothing for it to bang shut on, but it banged shut just the
same, sending seabirds screeching up from the rocks on which they had perched
to watch him.
5
What he had seen was
the earth from some high, impossible distance in the sky—miles up, it seemed.
He had seen the shadows of clouds lying upon that earth, floating across it
like dreams. He had seen what an eagle might see if one could fly thrice
as high as any eagle could.
To step through such a
door would be to fall, screaming, for what might be minutes, and to end by
driving one's self deep into the earth.
No, you saw more.
He considered it as he
sat stupidly on the sand in front of the closed door with his wounded hand in
his lap. The first faint traceries had appeared above his elbow now. The infection
would reach his heart soon enough, no doubt about that.
It was the voice of
Cort in his head.
Listen to me, maggots.
Listen for your lives, for that's what it could mean some day. You never see
all that you see. One of the things they send you to me for is to show you what
you don't see in what you see—what you don't see when you're scared, or
fighting, or running, or fucking. No man sees all that he sees, but before
you're gunslingers—those of you who don't go west, that is—you'll see more in
one single glance than some men see in a lifetime. And some of what you don't
see in that glance you'll see afterwards, in the eye of your memory—if you live
long enough to remember, that is. Because the difference between seeing and not
seeing can be the difference between living and dying.
He had seen the earth
from this huge height (and it had somehow been more dizzying and distorting
than the vision of growth which had come upon him shortly before the end of his
time with the man in black, because what he had seen through the door had been
no vision), and what little remained of his attention had registered the fact
that the land he was seeing was neither desert nor sea but some green place of
incredible lushness with interstices of water that made him think it was a
swamp, but—
What little remained
of your attention, the voice of Cort mimicked savagely. You saw more!
Yes.
He had seen white.
White edges.
Bravo, Roland! Cort
cried in his mind, and Roland seemed to feel the swat of that hard, callused
hand. He winced.
He had been looking
through a window.
The gunslinger stood with
an effort, reached forward, felt cold and burning lines of thin heat against
his palm. He opened the door again.
6
The view he had
expected—that view of the earth from some horrendous, unimaginable height—was
gone. He was looking at words he didn't understand. He almost understood
them; it was as if the Great Letters had been twisted. . . .
Above the words was a
picture of a horseless vehicle, a motor-car of the sort which had supposedly
filled the world before it moved on. Suddenly he thought of the things Jake had
said when, at the way station, the gunslinger had hypnotized him.
This horseless vehicle
with a woman wearing a fur stole laughing beside it, could be whatever had run
Jake over in that strange other world.
This is
that other world, the gunslinger thought.
Suddenly the view . .
.
It did not change; it moved.
The gunslinger wavered on his feet, feeling vertigo and a touch of nausea.
The words and the picture descended and now he saw an aisle with a double row
of seats on the far side. A few were empty, but there were men in most of them,
men in strange dress. He supposed they were suits, but he had never seen any
like them before. The things around their necks could likewise be ties or
cravats, but he had seen none like these, either. And, so far as he could tell,
not one of them was armed—he saw no dagger nor sword, let alone a gun. What
kind of trusting sheep were these? Some read papers covered with tiny
words—words broken here and there with pictures—while others wrote on papers
with pens of a sort the gunslinger had never seen. But the pens mattered little
to him. It was the paper. He lived in a world where paper and gold were
valued in rough equivalency. He had never seen so much paper in his life. Even
now one of the men tore a sheet from the yellow pad which lay upon his lap and
crumpled it into a ball, although he had only written on the top half of one
side and not at all on the other. The gunslinger was not too sick to feel a
twinge of horror and outrage at such unnatural profligacy.
Beyond the men was a
curved white wall and a row of windows. A few of these were covered by some
sort of shutters, but he could see blue sky beyond others.
Now a woman approached
the doorway, a woman wearing what looked like a uniform, but of no sort Roland
had ever seen. It was bright red, and part of it was pants. He could see
the place where her legs became her crotch. This was nothing he had ever seen
on a woman who was not undressed.
She came so close to
the door that Roland thought she would walk through, and he blundered back a
step, lucky not to fall. She looked at him with the practiced solicitude of a
woman who is at once a servant and no one's mistress but her own. This did not
interest the gunslinger. What interested him was that her expression never
changed. It was not the way you expected a woman—anybody, for that matter—to
look at a dirty, swaying, exhausted man with revolvers crisscrossed on his
hips, a blood-soaked rag wrapped around his right hand, and jeans which looked
as if they'd been worked on with some kind of buzzsaw.
"Would you like.
. ." the woman in red asked. There was more, but the gunslinger didn't
understand exactly what it meant. Food or drink, he thought. That red cloth—it
was not cotton. Silk? It looked a little like silk, but—
"Gin," a
voice answered, and the gunslinger understood that. Suddenly he understood much
more:
It wasn't a door.
It was eyes.
Insane as it might
seem, he was looking at part of a carriage that flew through the sky. He was
looking through someone's eyes.
Whose?
But he knew. He was
looking through the eyes of the prisoner.
CHAPTER
2
EDDIE
DEAN
1
As if to confirm this
idea, mad as it was, what the gun-slinger was looking at through the doorway
suddenly rose and slid sidewards. The view turned (that feeling of
vertigo again, a feeling of standing still on a plate with wheels under it, a
plate which hands he could not see moved this way and that), and then the aisle
was flowing past the edges of the doorway. He passed a place where several women,
all dressed in the same red uniforms, stood. This was a place of steel things,
and he would have liked to make the moving view stop in spite of his pain and
exhaustion so he could see what the steel things were—machines of some sort.
One looked a bit like an oven. The army woman he had already seen was pouring
the gin which the voice had requested. The bottle she poured from was very
small. It was glass. The vessel she was pouring it into looked like
glass but the gunslinger didn't think it actually was.
What the doorway
showed had moved along before he could see more. There was another of those
dizzying turns and he was looking at a metal door. There was a lighted sign in
a small oblong. This word the gunslinger could read. VACANT, it said.
The view slid down a
little. A hand entered it from the right of the door the gunslinger was looking
through and grasped the knob of the door the gunslinger was looking at. He saw
the cuff of a blue shirt, slightly pulled back to reveal crisp curls of black
hair. Long fingers. A ring on one of them, with a jewel set into it that might
have been a ruby or a firedim or a piece of trumpery trash. The
gunslinger rather thought it this last—it was too big and vulgar to be real.
The metal door swung
open and the gunslinger was looking into the strangest privy he had ever seen.
It was all metal.
The edges of the metal
door flowed past the edges of the door on the beach. The gunslinger heard the
sound of it being closed and latched. He was spared another of those giddy
spins, so he supposed the man through whose eyes he was watching must have
reached behind himself to lock himself in.
Then the view did
turn—not all the way around but half—and he was looking into a mirror, seeing a
face he had seen once before... on a Tarot card. The same dark eyes and spill
of dark hair. The face was calm but pale, and in the eyes—eyes through which he
saw now reflected back at him— Roland saw some of the dread and horror of that
baboon-ridden creature on the Tarot card.
The man was shaking.
He's sick, too.
Then he remembered
Nort, the weed-eater in Tull.
He thought of the
Oracle.
A demon has infested
him.
The gunslinger
suddenly thought he might know what HEROIN was after all: something like the
devil-grass.
A trifle upsetting,
isn't he?
Without thought, with
the simple resolve that had made him the last of them all, the last to continue
marching on and on long after Cuthbert and the others had died or given up,
committed suicide or treachery or simply recanted the whole idea of the Tower;
with the single-minded and incurious resolve that had driven him across the
desert and all the years before the desert in the wake of the man in black, the
gunslinger stepped through the doorway.
2
Eddie ordered a gin
and tonic—maybe not such a good idea to be going into New York Customs drunk,
and he knew once he got started he would just keep on
going—but he had to have something.
When you got to get
down and you can't find the elevator, Henry had told him
once, you got to do it any way you can. Even if it's only with a shovel.
Then, after he'd given
his order and the stewardess had left, he started to feel like he was maybe
going to vomit. Not for sure going to vomit, only maybe, but it was
better to be safe. Going through Customs with a pound of pure cocaine under
each armpit with gin on your breath was not so good; going through Customs that
way with puke drying on your pants would be disaster. So better to be safe. The
feeling would probably pass, it usually did, but better to be safe.
Trouble was, he was
going cool turkey. Cool, not cold. More words of wisdom from that great
sage and eminent junkie Henry Dean.
They had been sitting
on the penthouse balcony of the Regency Tower, not quite on the nod but edging
toward it, the sun warm on their faces, done up so good. . . back in the good
old days, when Eddie had just started to snort the stuff and Henry himself had
yet to pick up his first needle.
Everybody talks about
going cold turkey, Henry had said, but before you get
there, you gotta go cool turkey.
And Eddie, stoned out
of his mind, had cackled madly, because he knew exactly what Henry was talking
about. Henry, however, had not so much as cracked a smile.
In some ways cool
turkey's worse than cold turkey, Henry said. At
least when you make it to cold turkey, you KNOW you're gonna puke, you KNOW
you're going to shake, you KNOW you're gonna sweat until it feels like you're
drowning in it. Cool turkey is, like, the curse of expectation.
Eddie remembered
asking Henry what you called it when a needle-freak (which, in those dim dead
days which must have been all of sixteen months ago, they had both solemnly
assured themselves they would never become) got a hot shot.
You call that baked
turkey, Henry had replied promptly, and then had looked surprised, the
way a person does when he's said something that turned out to be a lot funnier
than he actually thought it would be, and they looked at each other, and
then they were both howling with laughter and clutching each other. Baked
turkey, pretty funny, not so funny now.
Eddie walked up the
aisle past the galley to the head, checked the sign—VACANT—and opened the door.
Hey Henry, o great
sage if eminent junkie big brother, while we're on the subject of our feathered
friends, you want to hear my definition of cooked goose? That's when the
Customs guy at Kennedy decides there's something a little funny about the way
you look, or it's one of the days when they got the dogs with the PhD noses out
there instead of at Port Authority and they all start to bark and pee all over
the floor and it's you they're all just about strangling themselves on their
choke-chains trying to get to, and after the Customs guys toss all your luggage
they take you into the little room and ask you if you'd mind taking off your
shirt and you say yeah I sure would I'd mind like hell, I picked up a little
cold down in the Bahamas and the air-conditioning in here is real high and I'm
afraid it might turn into pneumonia and they say oh is that so, do you always
sweat like that when the air-conditioning's too high, Mr. Dean, you do, well,
excuse us all to hell, now do it, and you do it, and they say maybe you better
take off the t-shirt too, because you look like maybe you got some kind of a
medical problem, buddy, those bulges under your pits look like maybe they could
be some kind of lymphatic tumors or something, and you don't even bother to say
anything else, it's like a center-fielder who doesn't even bother to chase the
ball when it's hit a certain way, he just turns around and watches it go into the
upper deck, because when it's gone it's gone, so you take off the t-shirt and
hey, looky here, you're some lucky kid, those aren't tumors, unless they're
what you might call tumors on the corpus of society,
yuk-yuk-yuk, those things look more like a couple of baggies held there with
Scotch strapping tape, and by the way, don't worry about that smell, son,
that's just goose. It's cooked.
He reached behind him
and pulled the locking knob. The lights in the head brightened. The sound of
the motors was a soft drone. He turned toward the mirror, wanting to see how
bad he looked, and suddenly a terrible, pervasive feeling swept over him: a
feeling of being watched.
Hey, come on, quit it,
he thought uneasily. You're supposed to be the most
unparanoid guy in the world. That's why they sent you. That's why—
But it suddenly seemed
those were not his own eyes in the mirror, not Eddie Dean's hazel, almost-green
eyes that had melted so many hearts and allowed him to part so many pretty sets
of legs during the last third of his twenty-one years, not his eyes but those
of a stranger. Not hazel but a blue the color of fading Levis. Eyes that were
chilly, precise, unexpected marvels of calibration. Bombardier's eyes.
Reflected in them he
saw—clearly saw—a seagull swooping down over a breaking wave and snatching
something from it.
He had time to think What
in God's name is this shit? and then he knew it wasn't going to
pass; he was going to throw up after all.
In the half-second
before he did, in the half-second he went on looking into the mirror, he saw
those blue eyes disappear . . . but before that happened there was suddenly
the feeling of being two people ... of being possessed, like the little
girl in The Exorcist.
Clearly he felt a new
mind inside his own mind, and heard a thought not as his own thought but more
like a voice from a radio: I've come through. I'm in the sky-carriage.
There was something
else, but Eddie didn't hear it. He was too busy throwing up into the basin as
quietly as he could.
When he was done,
before he had even wiped his mouth, something happened which had never happened
to him before. For one frightening moment there was nothing—only a blank
interval. As if a single line in a column of newsprint had been neatly and
completely inked out.
What is this? Eddie
thought helplessly. What the hell is this shit?
Then he had to throw
up again, and maybe that was just as well; whatever you might say against it,
regurgitation had at least this much in its favor: as long as you were doing
it, you couldn't think of anything else.
3
I've come through. I'm
in the sky-carriage, the gunslinger thought.
And, a second later: He sees me in the mirror!
Roland pulled back—did
not leave but pulled back, like a child retreating to the furthest corner of a
very long room. He was inside the sky-carriage; he was also inside a man who
was not himself. Inside The Prisoner. In that first moment, when he had been
close to the front (it was the only way he could describe it), he had
been more than inside; he had almost been the man. He felt the man's
illness, whatever it was, and sensed that the man was about to retch. Roland
understood that if he needed to, he could take control of this man's body. He
would suffer his pains, would be ridden by whatever demon-ape rode him, but if
he needed to he could.
Or he could stay back
here, unnoticed.
When the prisoner's
fit of vomiting had passed, the gun-slinger leaped forward—this time all the
way to the front. He understood very little about this strange
situation, and to act in a situation one does not understand is to invite the
most terrible consequences, but there were two things he needed to know—and he
needed to know them so desperately that the needing outweighed any consequences
which might arise.
Was the door he had come
through from his own world still there?
And if it was, was his
physical self still there, collapsed, untenanted, perhaps dying or already dead
without his self's self to go on unthinkingly running lungs and heart and
nerves? Even if his body still lived, it might only continue to do so until
night fell. Then the lobstrosities would come out to ask their questions and
look for shore dinners.
He snapped the head
which was for a moment his head around in a fast backward glance.
The door was still
there, still behind him. It stood open on his own world, its hinges buried in
the steel of this peculiar privy. And, yes, there he lay, Roland, the last
gunslinger, lying on his side, his bound right hand on his stomach.
I'm breathing, Roland
thought. I’ll have to go back and move me. But there are things to do
first. Things . . .
He let go of the
prisoner's mind and retreated, watching, waiting to see if the prisoner knew he
was there or not.
4
After the vomiting
stopped, Eddie remained bent over the basin, eyes tightly closed.
Blanked there for a
second. Don't know what it was. Did I look around?
He groped for the
faucet and ran cool water. Eyes still closed, he splashed it over his cheeks
and brow.
When it could be
avoided no longer, he looked up into the mirror again.
His own eyes looked
back at him.
There were no alien
voices in his head.
No feeling of being
watched.
You had a momentary
fugue, Eddie, the great sage and eminent junkie advised him. A
not uncommon phenomenon in one who is going cool turkey.
Eddie glanced at his
watch. An hour and a half to New York. The plane was scheduled to land at 4:05
EDT, but it was really going to be high noon. Showdown time.
He went back to his
seat. His drink was on the divider. He took two sips and the stew came back to
ask him if she could do any thing else for him. He opened his mouth to say no.
. .and then there was another of those odd blank moments.
5
"I'd like
something to eat, please," the gunslinger said through Eddie Dean's mouth.
"We'll be serving
a hot snack in—"
"I'm really
starving, though," the gunslinger said with perfect truthfulness.
"Anything at all, even a popkin—"
"Popkin?"
the army woman frowned at him, and the gunslinger suddenly looked into the
prisoner's mind. Sandwich . . . the word was as distant as the murmur
in a conch shell.
"A sandwich,
even," the gunslinger said.
The army woman looked
doubtful. "Well... I have some tuna fish ..."
"That would be
fine," the gunslinger said, although he had never heard of tooter fish in
his life. Beggars could not be choosers.
"You do look
a little pale," the army woman said. "I thought maybe it was
air-sickness."
"Pure
hunger."
She gave him a
professional smile. "I'll see what I can rustle up."
Russel? the
gunslinger thought dazedly. In his own world to russel was a slang verb
meaning to take a woman by force. Never mind. Food would come. He had no idea
if he could carry it back through the doorway to the body which needed it so
badly, but one thing at a time, one thing at a time.
Russel, he
thought, and Eddie Dean's head shook, as if in disbelief.
Then the gunslinger
retreated again.
6
Nerves, the
great oracle and eminent junkie assured him. Just nerves. All part of the
cool turkey experience, little brother.
But if nerves was what
it was, how come he felt this odd sleepiness stealing over him—odd because he
should have been itchy, ditsy, feeling that urge to squirm and scratch that
came before the actual shakes; even if he had not been in Henry's "cool turkey"
state, there was the fact that he was about to attempt bringing two pounds of
coke through U.S. Customs, a felony punishable by not less than ten years in
federal prison, and he seemed to suddenly be having blackouts as well.
Still, that feeling of
sleepiness.
He sipped at his drink
again, then let his eyes slip shut.
Why'd you black out?
I didn't, or she'd be
running for all the emergency gear they carry.
Blanked out, then.
It's no good either way. You never blanked out like that before in your life. Nodded
out, yeah, but never blanked out.
Something odd about
his right hand, too. It seemed to throb vaguely, as if he had pounded it with a
hammer.
He flexed it without
opening his eyes. No ache. No throb. No blue bombardier's eyes. As for the blank-outs,
they were just a combination of going cool turkey and a good case of what the
great oracle and eminent et cetera would no doubt call the smuggler's blues.
But I'm going to
sleep, just the same, he thought. How 'bout that?
Henry's face drifted by
him like an untethered balloon. Don't worry, Henry was saying. You'll
be all right, little brother. You fly down there to Nassau, check in at the
Aquinas, there'll be a man come by Friday night. One of the good guys. He'll
fix you, leave you enough stuff to take you through the weekend. Sunday night
he brings the coke and you give him the key to the safe deposit box. Monday
morning you do the routine just like Balazar said. This guy will play; he knows
how it's supposed to go. Monday noon you fly out, and with a face as honest as
yours, you'll breeze through Customs and we'll be eating steak in Sparks before
the sun goes down. It's gonna be a breeze, little brother, nothing but a cool
breeze.
But it had been sort
of a warm breeze after all.
The trouble with him
and Henry was they were like Charlie Brown and Lucy. The only difference was
once in awhile Henry would hold onto the football so Eddie could kick
it—not often, but once in awhile. Eddie had even thought, while in one of his
heroin dazes, that he ought to write Charles Schultz a letter. Dear Mr.
Schultz, he would say. You're missing a bet by ALWAYS having Lucy pull
the football up at the last second. She ought to hold it down there once in
awhile. Nothing Charlie Brown could ever predict, you understand. Sometimes
she'd maybe hold it down for him to kick three, even four times in a row, then
nothing for a month, then once, and then nothing for three or four days, and
then, you know, you get the idea. That would REALLY fuck the kid up, wouldn't
it?
Eddie knew it
would really fuck the kid up.
From experience he
knew it.
One of the good guys, Henry
had said, but the guy who showed up had been a sallow-skinned thing
with a British accent, a hairline moustache that looked like something out of a
1940s film noire, and yellow teeth that all leaned inward, like
the teeth of a very old animal trap.
"You have the
key, Senor?" he asked, except in that British public school accent
it came out sounding like what you called your last year of high school.
"The key's
safe," Eddie said, "if that's what you mean."
"Then give it to
me."
"That's not the
way it goes. You're supposed to have something to take me through the weekend.
Sunday night you're supposed to bring me something. I give you the key. Monday
you go into town and use it to get something else. I don't know what, 'cause
that's not my business."
Suddenly there was a
small flat blue automatic in the sallow-skinned thing's hand. "Why don't
you just give it to me, Senor? I will save time and effort; you will
save your life."
There was deep steel
in Eddie Dean, junkie or no junkie. Henry knew it; more important, Balazar knew
it. That was why he had been sent. Most of them thought he had gone because he
was hooked through the bag and back again. He knew it, Henry knew it, Balazar,
too. But only he and Henry knew he would have gone even if he was as straight
as a stake. For Henry. Balazar hadn't got quite that far in his figuring, but
fuck Balazar.
"Why don't you
just put that thing away, you little scuzz?" Eddie asked. "Or do you
maybe want Balazar to send someone down here and cut your eyes out of your head
with a rusty knife?"
The sallow thing
smiled. The gun was gone like magic; in its place was a small envelope. He
handed it to Eddie. "Just a little joke, you know."
"If you say
so."
"I see you Sunday
night."
He turned toward the
door.
"I think you
better wait."
The sallow thing
turned back, eyebrows raised. "You think I won't go if I want to go?"
"I think if you
go and this is bad shit, I'll be gone tomorrow. Then you'll be in deep shit."
The sallow thing
turned sulky. It sat in the room's single easy chair while Eddie opened the
envelope and spilled out a small quantity of brown stuff. It looked evil. He
looked at the sallow thing.
"I know how it
looks, it looks like shit, but that's just the cut," the sallow thing
said. "It's fine."
Eddie tore a sheet of
paper from the notepad on the desk and separated a small amount of the brown
powder from the pile. He fingered it and then rubbed it on the roof of his
mouth. A second later he spat into the wastebasket.
"You want to die?
Is that it? You got a death-wish?"
"That's all there
is." The sallow thing looked more sulky than ever.
"I have a
reservation out tomorrow," Eddie said. This was a lie, but he didn't
believe the sallow thing had the resources to check it. "TWA. I did it on
my own, just in case the contact happened to be a fuck-up like you. I don't
mind. It'll be a relief, actually. I wasn't cut out for this sort of
work."
The sallow thing sat
and cogitated. Eddie sat and concentrated on not moving. He felt like
moving; felt like slipping and sliding, hipping and bopping, shucking and
jiving, scratching his scratches and cracking his crackers. He even felt his eyes
wanting to slide back to the pile of brown powder, although he knew it was
poison. He had fixed at ten that morning; the same number of hours had gone by
since then. But if he did any of those things, the situation would change. The
sallow thing was doing more than cogitating; it was watching him, trying to
calculate the depth of him.
"I might be able
to find something," it said at last.
"Why don't you
try?" Eddie said. "But come eleven, I turn out the light and put the
DO NOT DISTURB sign on the door, and anybody that knocks after I do that, I
call the desk and say someone's bothering me, send a security guy."
"You are a
fuck," the sallow thing said in its impeccable British accent.
"No," Eddie
said, "a fuck is what you expected. I came with
my legs crossed. You want to be here before eleven with something that I can
use—it doesn't have to be great, just something I can use—or you will be one
dead scuzz."
7
The sallow thing was
back long before eleven; he was back by nine-thirty. Eddie guessed the other
stuff had been in his car all along.
A little more powder
this time. Not white, but at least a dull ivory color, which was mildly
hopeful.
Eddie tasted. It
seemed all right. Actually better than all right. Pretty good. He rolled a bill
and snorted.
"Well, then,
until Sunday," the sallow thing said briskly, getting to its feet.
"Wait,"
Eddie said, as if he were the one with the gun. In a way he was. The gun was
Balazar. Emilio Balazar was a high-caliber big shot in New York's wonderful
world of drugs.
"Wait?" the
sallow thing turned and looked at Eddie as if he believed Eddie must be insane.
"For what?"
"Well, I was
actually thinking of you," Eddie said. "If I get really sick from
what I just put into my body, it's off. If I die, of course it's off. I
was just thinking that, if I only get a little sick, I might give you
another chance. You know, like that story about how some kid rubs a lamp and
gets three wishes."
"It will not make
you sick. That's China White."
"If that's China
White," Eddie said, "I'm Dwight Gooden."
"Who?"
"Never
mind."
The sallow thing sat
down. Eddie sat by the motel room desk with the little pile of white powder
nearby (the D-Con or whatever it had been had long since gone down the John).
On TV the Braves were getting shellacked by the Mets, courtesy of WTBS and the
big satellite dish on the Aquinas Hotel's roof. Eddie felt a faint sensation of
calm which seemed to come from the back of his mind . . . except where it was
really coming from, he knew from what he had read in the medical journals, was
from the bunch of living wires at the base of his spine, that place where
heroin addiction takes place by causing an unnatural thickening of the nerve
stern.
Want to take a quick
cure? he had asked Henry once. Break your spine,
Henry. Your legs stop working, and so does your cock, but you stop needing the
needle right away.
Henry hadn't thought
it was funny.
In truth, Eddie hadn't
thought it was that funny either. When the only fast way you could get rid of
the monkey on your back was to snap your spinal cord above that bunch of
nerves, you were dealing with one heavy monkey. That was no capuchin, no cute
little organ grinder's mascot; that was a big mean old baboon.
Eddie began to
sniffle.
"Okay," he
said at last. "It'll do. You can vacate the premises, scuzz."
The sallow thing got
up. "I have friends,'' he said. “They could come in here and do things to
you. You'd beg to tell me where that key is."
"Not me,
champ," Eddie said. "Not this kid." And smiled. He didn't know
how the smile looked, but it must not have looked all that cheery because the
sallow thing vacated the premises, vacated them fast, vacated them without
looking back.
When Eddie Dean was
sure he was gone, he cooked.
Fixed.
Slept.
8
As he was sleeping
now.
The gunslinger,
somehow inside this man's mind (a man whose name he still did not know; the
lowling the prisoner thought of as "the sallow thing'' had not known it,
and so had never spoken it), watched this as he had once watched plays as a
child, before the world had moved on. . . or so he thought he watched, because
plays were all he had ever seen. If he had ever seen a moving picture, he would
have thought of that first. The things he did not actually see he had been able
to pluck from the prisoner's mind because the associations were close. It was
odd about the name, though. He knew the name of the prisoner's brother, but not
the name of the man himself. But of course names were secret things, full of
power.
And neither of the
things that mattered was the man's name. One was the weakness of the addiction.
The other was the steel buried inside that weakness, like a good gun sinking in
quicksand.
This man reminded the
gunslinger achingly of Cuthbert.
Someone was coming.
The prisoner, sleeping, did not hear. The gunslinger, not sleeping, did, and
came forward again.
9
Great, Jane
thought. He tells me how hungry he is and I fix something up for him because
he's a little bit cute, and then he falls asleep on me.
Then the passenger—a
guy of about twenty, tall, wearing clean, slightly faded bluejeans and a
paisley shirt—opened his eyes a little and smiled at her.
"Thankee
sai," he said—or so it sounded. Almost archaic ... or
foreign. Sleep-talk, that's all, Jane thought.
"You're
welcome." She smiled her best stewardess smile, sure he would fall asleep
again and the sandwich would still be there, uneaten, when it was time for the
actual meal service.
Well, that was what
they taught you to expect, wasn't it?
She went back to the
galley to catch a smoke.
She struck the match,
lifted it halfway to her cigarette, and there it stopped, unnoticed, because
that wasn't all they taught you to expect.
I thought he was a
little bit cute. Mostly because of his eyes. His hazel eyes.
But when the man in 3A
had opened his eyes a moment ago, they hadn't been hazel; they had been
blue. Not sweet-sexy blue like Paul Newman's eyes, either, but the color of
icebergs. They—
"Ow!"
The match had reached
her fingers. She shook it out.
"Jane?"
Paula asked. "You all right?"
"Fine.
Daydreaming."
She lit another match
and this time did the job right. She had only taken a single drag when the
perfectly reasonable explanation occurred to her. He wore contacts. Of course.
The kind that changed the color of your eyes. He had gone into the bathroom. He
had been in there long enough for her to worry about him being airsick—he had
that pallid complexion, the look of a man who is not quite well. But he had
only been taking out his contact lenses so he could nap more comfortably.
Perfectly reasonable.
You may feel
something, a voice from her own not-so-distant past spoke
suddenly. Some little tickle. You may see something just a little bit wrong.
Colored contact
lenses.
Jane Doming personally
knew over two dozen people who wore contacts. Most of them worked for the
airline. No one ever said anything about it, but she thought maybe one reason
was they all sensed the passengers didn't like to see flight personnel wearing
glasses—it made them nervous.
Of all those people,
she knew maybe four who had color-contacts. Ordinary contact lenses were
expensive; colored ones cost the earth. All of the people of Jane's
acquaintance who cared to lay out that sort of money were women, all of them
extremely vain.
So what? Guys can
be vain, too. Why not? He's good-looking.
No. He wasn't. Cute,
maybe, but that was as far as it went, and with the pallid complexion he only
made it to cute by the skin of his teeth. So why the color-contacts?
Airline passengers are
often afraid of flying.
In a world where
hijacking and drug-smuggling had become facts of life, airline personnel are
often afraid of passengers.
The voice that had
initiated these thoughts had been that of an instructor at flight school, a
tough old battle-axe who looked as if she could have flown the mail with Wiley
Post, saying: Don't ignore your suspicions. If you
forget every thing else you've learned about coping with potential or actual
terrorists, remember this: don't ignore your suspicions. In some cases
you'll get a crew who'll say during the debriefing that they didn't have any
idea until the guy pulled out a grenade and said hang a left for Cuba or
everyone on the aircraft is going to join the jet-stream. But in most cases you
get two or three different people—mostly flight attendants, which you women
will be in less than a month—who say they felt something. Some little tickle. A
sense that the guy in 91C or the young woman in 5A was a little wrong. They
felt something, but they did nothing. Did they get fired for that? Christ, no!
You can't put a guy in restraints because you don't like the way he scratches
his pimples. The real problem is they felt something . . . and then forgot.
The old battle-axe had
raised one blunt finger. Jane Doming, along with her fellow classmates, had
listened raptly as she said, If you feel that little tickle, don't do
anything. . . but that includes not forgetting. Because there's always that one
little chance that you just might be able to stop something before it gets
started . . . something like an unscheduled twelve-day layover on the tarmac of
some shitpot Arab country.
Just colored contacts,
but...
Thankee, sai.
Sleep-talk? Or a
muddled lapse into some other language?
She would watch, Jane
decided.
And she would not
forget.
10
Now, the
gunslinger thought. Now we'll see, won't we?
He had been able to
come from his world into this body through the door on the beach. What he needed
to find out was whether or not he could carry things back. Oh, not himself, he
was confident that he could return through the door and reenter his own
poisoned, sickening body at any time he should desire. But other things? Physical
things? Here, for instance, in front of him, was food: something the woman
in the uniform had called a tooter-fish sandwich. The gunslinger had no idea
what tooter-fish was, but he knew a popkin when he saw it, although this one
looked curiously uncooked.
His body needed to eat,
and his body would need to drink, but more than either, his body needed some
sort of medicine. It would die from the lobstrosity's bite without it. There
might be such medicine in this world; in a world where carriages rode through
the air far above where even the strongest eagle could fly, anything seemed
possible. But it would not matter how much powerful medicine there was here if
he could carry nothing physical through the door.
You could live in this
body, gunslinger, the voice of the man in black whispered
deep inside his head. Leave that piece of breathing meat over there for the
lobster-things. It's only a husk, anyway.
He would not do that.
For one thing it would be the most murderous sort of thievery, because he would
not be content to be just a passenger for long, looking out of this man's eyes
like a traveller looking out of a coach window at the passing scenery.
For another, he was
Roland. If dying was required, he intended to die as Roland. He would die crawling
toward the Tower, if that was what was required.
Then the odd harsh
practicality that lived beside the romantic in his nature like a tiger with a
roe reasserted itself. There was no need to think of dying with the experiment
not yet made.
He picked up the popkin.
It had been cut in two halves. He held one in each hand. He opened the
prisoner's eyes and looked out of them. No one was looking at him (although, in
the galley, Jane Doming was thinking about him, and very hard).
Roland turned toward
the door and went through, holding the popkin-halves in his hands.
11
First he heard the
grinding roar of an incoming wave; next he heard the argument of many sea-birds
arising from the closest rocks as he struggled to a sitting
position (cowardly buggers were creeping up, he thought, and they
would have been taking pecks out of me soon enough, still breathing or
no—they're nothing but vultures with a coat of paint); then he became aware
that one popkin half—the one in his right hand—had tumbled onto the hard gray
sand because he had been holding it with a whole hand when he came through the
door and now was—or had been—holding it in a hand which had suffered a
forty per cent reduction.
He picked it up
clumsily, pinching it between his thumb and ring finger, brushed as much of the
sand from it as he could, and took a tentative bite. A moment later he was wolfing
it, not noticing the few bits of sand which ground between his teeth. Seconds later
he turned his attention to the other half. It was gone in three bites.
The gunslinger had no
idea what tooter-fish was—only that it was delicious. That seemed enough.
12
In the plane, no one
saw the tuna sandwich disappear. No one saw Eddie Dean's hands grasp the two
halves of it tightly enough to make deep thumb-indentations in the white bread.
No one saw the
sandwich fade to transparency, then disappear, leaving only a few crumbs.
About twenty seconds
after this had happened, Jane Doming snuffed her cigarette and crossed the head
of the cabin. She got her book from her totebag, but what she really wanted was
another look at 3A.
He appeared to be
deeply asleep. . . but the sandwich was gone.
Jesus, Jane
thought. He didn't eat it; he swallowed it whole. And now he's asleep again?
Are you kidding?
Whatever was tickling
at her about 3A, Mr. Now-They're-Hazel-Now-They're-Blue, kept right on
tickling. Something about him was not right.
Something.
CHAPTER
3
CONTACT
AND LANDING
1
Eddie was awakened by
an announcement from the copilot that they should be landing at Kennedy
International, where the visibility was unlimited, the winds out of the west at
ten miles an hour, and the temperature a jolly seventy degrees, in forty-five
minutes or so. He told them that, if he didn't get another chance, he wanted to
thank them one and all for choosing Delta.
He looked around and
saw people checking their duty declaration cards and their proofs of citizenship—coming
in from Nassau your driver's license and a credit card with a stateside bank
listed on it was supposed to be enough, but most still carried passports—and
Eddie felt a steel wire start to tighten inside him. He still couldn't believe
he had gone to sleep, and so soundly.
He got up and went to
the restroom. The bags of coke under his arms felt as if they were resting
easily and firmly, fitting as nicely to the contours of his sides as they had
in the hotel room where a soft-spoken American named William Wilson had
strapped them on. Following the strapping operation, the man whose name Poe
had made famous (Wilson had only looked blankly at Eddie when Eddie made some
allusion to this) handed over the shirt. Just an ordinary paisley shirt, a little
faded, the sort of thing any frat-boy might wear back on the plane following a
short pre-exams holiday . . . except this one was specially tailored to hide
unsightly bulges.
''You check everything
once before you set down just to be sure," Wilson said, "but you're
gonna be fine."
Eddie didn't know if
he was going to be fine or not, but he had another reason for wanting to use
the John before the FASTEN SEATBELTS light came on. In spite of all temptation—
and most of last night it hadn't been temptation but raging need—he had managed
to hold onto the last little bit of what the sallow thing had had the temerity
to call China White.
Clearing customs from
Nassau wasn't like clearing customs from Haiti or Quincon or Bogota, but there
were still people watching. Trained people. He needed any and every edge he
could get. If he could go in there a little cooled out, just a little, it might
be the one thing that put him over the top.
He snorted the powder,
flushed the little twist of paper it had been in down the John, then washed his
hands.
Of course, if you make
it, you'll never know, will you? he thought. No. He
wouldn't. And wouldn't care.
On his way back to his
seat he saw the stewardess who had brought him the drink he hadn't finished. She
smiled at him. He smiled back, sat down, buckled his seat-belt, took out the
flight magazine, turned the pages, and looked at pictures and words. Neither
made any impression on them. That steel wire continued to tighten around his
gut, and when the FASTEN SEATBELTS light did come on, it took a double
turn and cinched tight.
The heroin had hit—he
had the sniffles to prove it—but he sure couldn't feel it.
One thing he did feel
shortly before landing was another of those unsettling periods of blankness . .
. short, but most definitely there.
The 727 banked over
the water of Long Island Sound and started in.
2
Jane Doming had been
in the business class galley, helping Peter and Anne stow the last of the
after-meal drinks glasses when the guy who looked like a college kid went into
the first class bathroom.
He was returning to
his seat when she brushed aside the curtain between business and first, and she
quickened her step without even thinking about it, catching him with her smile,
making him look up and smile back.
His eyes were hazel
again.
All right, all right.
He went into the John and took them out before his nap; he went into the John
and put them in again afterwards. For Christ's sake, Janey! You're being a
goose!
She wasn't, though. It
was nothing she could put her finger on, but she was not being a goose.
He's too pale.
So what? Thousands of
people are too pale, including your own mother since her gall bladder went to
hell.
He had very arresting
blue eyes—maybe not as cute as the hazel contacts—but certainly arresting. So
why the bother and expense?
Because he likes
designer eyes. Isn't that enough?
No.
Shortly before FASTEN
SEAT BELTS and final cross-check, she did something she had never done before;
she did it with that tough old battle-axe of an instructor in mind. She filled
a Thermos bottle with hot coffee and put on the red plastic top without first
pushing the stopper into the bottle's throat. She screwed the top on only until
she felt it catch the first thread.
Susy Douglas was
making the final approach announcement, telling the geese to extinguish their
cigarettes, telling them they would have to stow what they had taken out,
telling them a Delta gate agent would meet the flight, telling them to check
and make sure they had their duty-declaration cards and proofs of citizenship,
telling them it would now be necessary to pick up all cups, glasses and speaker
sets.
I'm surprised we don't
have to check to make sure they're dry, Jane thought
distractedly. She felt her own steel wire wrapping itself around her guts,
cinching them tight.
"Get my
side," Jane said as Susy hung up the mike.
Susy glanced at the
Thermos, then at Jane's face. "Jane? Are you sick? You look as white as
a—"
"I'm not sick.
Get my side. I'll explain when you get back." Jane glanced briefly at the
jump-seats beside the left-hand exit door. "I want to ride shotgun."
"Jane-"
"Get my
side."
"All right,"
Susy said. "All right, Jane. No problem."
Jane Doming sat down
in the jump-seat closest to the aisle. She held the Thermos in her hands and
made no move to fasten the web-harness. She wanted to keep the Thermos in
complete control, and that meant both hands.
Susy thinks I've
flipped out.
Jane hoped she had.
If
Captain McDonald lands hard, I'm going to have blisters all over my hands.
She would risk it.
The plane was
dropping. The man in 3A, the man with the two-tone eyes and the pale face,
suddenly leaned down and pulled his travelling bag from under the seat.
This is it, Jane
thought. This is where he brings out the grenade or the automatic weapon or
whatever the hell he's got.
And the moment she saw
it, the very moment, she was going to flip the red top off the Thermos in her
slightly trembling hands, and there was going to be one very surprised Friend of
Allah rolling around on the aisle floor of Delta Flight 901 while his skin
boiled on his face.
3A unzipped the bag.
Jane got ready.
3
The gunslinger thought
this man, prisoner or not, was probably better at the fine art of survival than
any of the other men he had seen in the air-carriage. The others were fat
things, for the most part, and even those who looked reasonably fit also looked
open, unguarded, their faces those of spoiled and cosseted children, the faces
of men who would fight— eventually—but who would whine almost endlessly before
they did; you could let their guts out onto their shoes and their last
expressions would not be rage or agony but stupid surprise.
The prisoner was
better. . . but not good enough. Not at all.
The army woman. She saw
something. I don't know what, but she saw something wrong. She's awake to him
in a way she's not to the others.
The prisoner sat down.
Looked at a limp-covered book he thought of as a "Magda-Seen,"
although who Magda might have been or what she might have seen mattered not a
whit to Roland. The gunslinger did not want to look at a book, amazing as such
things were; he wanted to look at the woman in the army uniform. The urge to
come forward and take control was very great. But he held against it. . . at least
for the time being.
The prisoner had gone
somewhere and gotten a drug. Not the drug he himself took, nor one that would
help cure the gunslinger's sick body, but one that people paid a lot of money
for because it was against the law. He would give this drug to his brother, who
would in turn give it to a man named Balazar. The deal would be complete when
Balazar traded them the kind of drug they took for this one—if, that
was, the prisoner was able to correctly perform a ritual unknown to the gunslinger
(and a world as strange as this must of necessity have many strange rituals);
it was called Clearing the Customs.
But the woman sees
him.
Could she keep him
from Clearing the Customs? Roland thought the answer was probably yes. And
then? Gaol. And if the prisoner were gaoled, there would be no place to get the
sort of medicine his infected, dying body needed.
He must Clear the
Customs, Roland thought. He must. And he must
go with his brother to this man Balazar. It's not in the plan, the brother
won't like it, but he must.
Because a man who
dealt in drugs would either know a man or be a man who also cured the
sick. A man who could listen to what was wrong and then . . . maybe . . .
He must
Clear the Customs, the gunslinger thought.
The answer was so large
and simple, so close to him, that he very nearly did not see it at all. It was
the drug the prisoner meant to smuggle in that would make Clearing the
Customs so difficult, of course; there might be some sort of Oracle who might
be consulted in the cases of people who seemed suspicious. Otherwise, Roland
gleaned, the Clearing ceremony would be simplicity itself, as crossing a
friendly border was in his own world. One made the sign of fealty to that
kingdom's monarch—a simple token gesture—and was allowed to pass.
He was able to
take things from the prisoner's world to his own. The tooter-fish popkin proved
that. He would take the bags of drugs as he had taken the popkin. The prisoner
would Clear the Customs. And then Roland would bring the bags of drugs back.
Can you?
Ah, here was a
question disturbing enough to distract him from the view of the water below . .
. they had gone over what looked like a huge ocean and were now turning back
toward the coastline. As they did, the water grew steadily closer. The
air-carriage was coming down (Eddie's glance was brief, cursory; the
gunslinger's as rapt as the child seeing his first snowfall). He could take things
from this world, that he knew. But bring them back again? That was a thing of
which he as yet had no knowing. He would have to find out.
The gunslinger reached
into the prisoner's pocket and closed the prisoner's fingers over a coin.
Roland went back
through the door.
4
The birds flew away
when he sat up. They hadn't dared come as close this time. He ached; he was
woozy, feverish . . . yet it was amazing how much even a little bit of
nourishment had revived him.
He looked at the coin
he had brought back with him this time. It looked like silver, but the reddish
tint at the edge suggested it was really made of some baser metal. On one side
was a profile of a man whose face suggested nobility, courage, stubbornness.
His hair, both curled at the base of the skull and pigged at the nape of the
neck, suggested a bit of vanity as well. He turned the coin over and saw
something so startling it caused him to cry out in a rusty, croaking voice.
On the back was an
eagle, the device which had decorated his own banner, in those dim days when
there had still been kingdoms and banners to symbolize them.
Time's short. Go back.
Hurry.
But he tarried a
moment longer, thinking. It was harder to think inside this head—the prisoner's
was far from clear, but it was, temporarily at least, a cleaner vessel than his
own.
To try the coin both ways
was only half the experiment, wasn't it?
He took one of the
shells from his cartridge belt and folded it over the coin in his hand.
Roland stepped back
through the door.
5
The prisoner's coin
was still there, firmly curled within the pocketed hand. He didn't have to come
forward to check on the shell; he knew it hadn't made the trip.
He came forward anyway,
briefly, because there was one thing he had to know. Had to see.
So he turned, as if to
adjust the little paper thing on the back of his seat (by all the gods that
ever were, there was paper everywhere in this world), and looked through
the doorway. He saw his body, collapsed as before, now with a fresh trickle of
blood flowing from a cut on his cheek—a stone must have done it when he left
himself and crossed over.
The cartridge he had
been holding along with the coin lay at the base of the door, on the sand.
Still, enough was
answered. The prisoner could Clear the Customs. Their guards o' the watch might
search him from head to toe, from asshole to appetite, and back again.
They'd find nothing.
The gunslinger settled
back, content, unaware, at least for the time being, that he still had not
grasped the extent of his problem.
6
The 727 came in low and
smooth over the salt marshes of Long Island, leaving sooty trails of spent fuel
behind. The landing gear came down with a rumble and a thump.
7
3A, the man with the
two-tone eyes, straightened up and Jane saw—actually saw—a snub-nosed Uzi in
his hands before she realized it was nothing but his duty declaration card and
a little zipper bag of the sort which men sometimes use to hold their
passports.
The plane settled like
silk.
Letting out a deep,
shaking shudder, she tightened the red top on the Thermos.
"Call me an
asshole," she said in a low voice to Susy, buckling the cross-over belts
now that it was too late. She had told Susy what she suspected on the final
approach, so Susy would be ready. "You have every right."
"No," Susy
said. "You did the right thing."
"I over-reacted.
And dinner's on me."
"Like hell it is.
And don't look at him. Look at me. Smile, Janey."
Jane smiled. Nodded.
Wondered what in God's name was going on now.
"You were
watching his hands," Susy said, and laughed. Jane joined in. "I was
watching what happened to his shirt when he bent over to get his bag. He's got
enough stuff under there to stock a Woolworth's notions counter. Only I don't
think he's carrying the kind of stuff you can buy at Woolworth's."
Jane threw back her
head and laughed again, feeling like a puppet. "How do we handle it?"
Susy had five years' seniority on her, and Jane, who only a minute ago had
felt she had the situation under some desperate kind of control, now only felt
glad to have Susy beside her.
"We don't.
Tell the Captain while we're taxiing in. The Captain speaks to customs. Your
friend there gets in line like everyone else, except then he gets pulled out
of line by some men who escort him to a little room. It's going to be the
first in a very long succession of little rooms for him, I think."
"Jesus."
Jane was smiling, but chills, alternately hot and cold, were racing through
her.
She hit the
pop-release on her harness when the reverse thrusters began to wind down,
handed the Thermos to Susy, then got up and rapped on the cockpit door.
Not a terrorist but a
drug-smuggler. Thank God for small favors. Yet in a way she hated it. He had
been cute.
Not much, but a
little.
8
He still doesn't see, the
gunslinger thought with anger and dawning desperation. Gods!
Eddie had bent to get
the papers he needed for the ritual, and when he looked up the army woman was
staring at him, her eyes bulging, her cheeks as white as the paper things on
the backs of the seats. The silver tube with the red top, which he had at first
taken for some kind of canteen, was apparently a weapon. She was holding it up
between her breasts now. Roland thought that in a moment or two she would
either throw it or spin off the red top and shoot him with it.
Then she relaxed and buckled
her harness even though the thump told both the gunslinger and the prisoner the
aircarriage had already landed. She turned to the army woman she was sitting
with and said something. The other woman laughed and nodded, but if that was a
real laugh, the gunslinger thought, he was a river-toad.
The gunslinger
wondered how the man whose mind had become temporary home for the gunslinger's
own ka, could be so stupid. Some of it was what he was putting into his
body, of course . . . one of this world's versions of devil-weed. Some, but not
all. He was not soft and unobservant like the others, but in time he might be.
They are as they are
because they live in the light, the gunslinger thought
suddenly. That light of civilization you were taught to adore above all
other things. They live in a world which has not moved on.
If this was what
people became in such a world, Roland was not sure he didn't prefer the dark.
"That was before the world moved on," people said in his own world,
and it was always said in tones of bereft sadness . . . but it was, perhaps,
sadness without thought, without consideration.
She thought I/
he—meant to grab a weapon when I/he— bent down to get the papers. When she saw
the papers she relaxed and did what everyone else did before the carriage came
down to the ground again. Now she and her friend are talking and laughing but
their faces—her face especially, the face of the woman with the metal tube—are
not right. They are talking, all right, but they are only pretending
to laugh. . . and that is because what they are talking about is I/ him.
The air-carriage was
now moving along what seemed a long concrete road, one of many. Mostly he
watched the women, but from the edges of his vision the gunslinger could see
other air-carriages moving here and there along other roads. Some lumbered;
some moved with incredible speed, not like carriages at all but like
projectiles fired from guns or cannons, preparing to leap into the air. As
desperate as his own situation had become, part of him wanted very much to come
forward and turn his head so he could see these vehicles as they leaped
into the sky. They were man-made but every bit as fabulous as the stories of
the Grand Featherex which had supposedly once lived in the distant (and
probably mythical) kingdom of Garlan—more fabulous, perhaps, simply
because these were man-made.
The woman who had
brought him the popkin unfastened her harness (this less than a minute since
she had fastened it) and went forward to a small door. That's where the
driver sits, the gunslinger thought, but when the door was opened and she
stepped in he saw it apparently took three drivers to operate the air-carriage,
and even the brief glimpse he was afforded of what seemed like a million dials
and levers and lights made him understand why.
The prisoner was
looking at all but seeing nothing—Cort would have first sneered, then driven
him through the nearest wall. The prisoner's mind was completely occupied with
grabbing the bag under the seat and his light jacket from the overhead bin . .
. and facing the ordeal of the ritual.
The prisoner saw
nothing; the gunslinger saw everything.
The woman thought him
a thief or a madman. He—or perhaps it was I, yes, that's likely enough—did
something to make her think that. She changed her
mind, and then the other woman changed it back . . . only now I think they know
what's really wrong. They know he's going to try to
profane the ritual.
Then, in a
thunderclap, he saw the rest of his problem. First, it wasn't just a matter of
taking the bags into his world as he had the coin; the coin hadn't been stuck
to the prisoner's body with the glue-string the prisoner had wrapped around and
around his upper body to hold the bags tight to his skin. This glue-string was
only part of his problem. The prisoner hadn't missed the temporary
disappearance of one coin among many, but when he realized that whatever it was
he had risked his life for was suddenly gone, he was surely going to
raise the racks . . . and what then?
It was more than
possible that the prisoner would begin to behave in a manner so irrational that
it would get him locked away in gaol as quickly as being caught in the act of
profanation. The loss would be bad enough; for the bags under his arms to
simply melt away to nothing would probably make him think he really had gone
mad.
The air-carriage,
ox-like now that it was on the ground, labored its way through a left turn. The
gunslinger realized that he had no time for the luxury of further thought. He
had to do more than come forward; he must make contact with Eddie Dean.
Right now.
9
Eddie tucked his
declaration card and passport in his breast pocket. The steel wire was now
turning steadily around his guts, sinking in deeper and deeper, making his
nerves spark and sizzle. And suddenly a voice spoke in his head.
Not a thought; a voice.
Listen to me, fellow.
Listen carefully. And if you would remain safe, let your face show nothing
which might further rouse the suspicions of those army women. God knows they're
suspicious enough already.
Eddie first thought he
was still wearing the airline earphones and picking up some weird transmission
from the cockpit. But the airline headphones had been picked up five minutes
ago.
His second thought was
that someone was standing beside him and talking. He almost snapped his head to
the left, but that was absurd. Like it or not, the raw truth was that the voice
had come from inside his head.
Maybe he was receiving
some sort of transmission—AM, FM, or VHF on the fillings in his teeth. He had
heard of such th—
Straighten up, maggot!
They're suspicious enough without you looking as if you've gone crazy!
Eddie sat up fast, as
if he had been whacked. That voice wasn't Henry's, but it was so much like Henry's
when they had been just a couple of kids growing up in the Projects, Henry
eight years older, the sister who had been between them now only a ghost of
memory; Selina had been struck and killed by a car when Eddie was two and Henry
ten. That rasping tone of command came out whenever Henry saw him doing something
that might end with Eddie occupying a pine box long before his time ... as
Selina had.
What in the blue fuck
is going on here?
You're not hearing
voices that aren't there, the voice inside his head returned. No,
not Henry's voice—older, dryer . . . stronger. But like Henry's voice. .
. and impossible not to believe. That's the first thing. You're not going
crazy. I AM another person.
This is telepathy?
Eddie was vaguely
aware that his face was completely expressionless. He thought that, under the
circumstances, that ought to qualify him for the Best Actor of the Year Academy
Award. He looked out the window and saw the plane closing in on the Delta
section of Kennedy's International Arrivals Building.
I
don't know that word. But I do know that those army women know you are
carrying...
There was a pause. A
feeling—odder beyond telling—of phantom fingers rummaging through his brain as
if he were a living card catalogue.
. . . heroin or cocaine.
I can't tell which except—except it must be cocaine because you're carrying the
one you don't take to buy the one you do.
"What army
women?" Eddie muttered in a low voice. He was completely unaware that he
was speaking aloud. "What in the hell are you talking ab—"
That feeling of being
slapped once more... so real he felt his head ring with it.
Shut your mouth, you
damned jackass!
All right, all right!
Christ!
Now that feeling of
rummaging fingers again.
Army stewardesses, the
alien voice replied. Do you understand me? I have no time to con your every
thought, prisoner!
"What did
you—" Eddie began, then shut his mouth. What did you call me?
Never mind. Just
listen. Time is very, very short. They know. The army stewardesses know you
have this cocaine.
How could they? That's
ridiculous!
I don't know how they
came by their knowledge, and it doesn't matter. One of them told the drivers.
The drivers will tell whatever priests perform this ceremony, this Clearing of
Customs—
The language of the
voice in his head was arcane, the terms so off-kilter they were almost cute . .
. but the message came through loud and clear. Although his face remained
expressionless, Eddie's teeth came together with a painful click and he drew a
hot little hiss in through them.
The voice was saying
the game was over. He hadn't even gotten off the plane and the game was already
over.
But this wasn't real.
No way this could be real. It was just his mind, doing a paranoid little jig at
the last minute, that was all. He would ignore it. Just ignore it and it would
go awa—
You will NOT ignore it
or you will go to jail and I will die! the voice roared.
Who in the name of God
are you? Eddie asked reluctantly, fearfully, and
inside his head he heard someone or something let out a deep and gusty sigh of
relief.
10
He believes, the
gunslinger thought. Thank all the gods that are or ever were, he believes!
11
The plane stopped. The
FASTEN SEAT BELTS light went out. The jetway rolled forward and bumped against
the forward port door with a gentle thump.
They had arrived.
12
There is a place where
you can put it while you perform the Clearing of Customs, the
voice said. A safe place. Then, when you are away, you can get it again and
take it to this man Balazar.
People were standing up
now, getting things out of the overhead bins and trying to deal with coats
which were, according to the cockpit announcement, too warm to wear.
Get your bag. Get your
jacket. Then go into the privy again.
Pr—
Oh. Bathroom. Head.
If
they think I've got dope they'll think I'm trying to dump it.
But Eddie understood
that part didn't matter. They wouldn't exactly break down the door, because
that might scare the passengers. And they'd know you couldn't flush two pounds
of coke down an airline toilet and leave no trace. Not unless the voice was
really telling the truth . . . that there was some safe place. But how could
there be?
Never mind, damn you!
MOVE!
Eddie moved. Because
he had finally come alive to the situation. He was not seeing all Roland, with
his many years and his training of mingled torture and precision, could see,
but he could see the faces of the stews—the real faces, the ones behind
the smiles and the helpful passing of garment bags and cartons stowed in the
forward closet. He could see the way their eyes flicked to him, whiplash quick,
again and again.
He got his bag. He got
his jacket. The door to the jetway had been opened, and people were already
moving up the aisle. The door to the cockpit was open, and here was the
Captain, also smiling. . . but also looking at the passengers in first class
who were still getting their things together, spotting him—no, targeting him—and
then looking away again, nodding to someone, tousling a youngster's head.
He was cold now. Not
cold turkey, just cold. He didn't need the voice in his head to make him cold.
Cold—sometimes that was okay. You just had to be careful you didn't get so cold
you froze.
Eddie moved forward,
reached the point where a left turn would take him into the jetway—and then
suddenly put his hand to his mouth.
"I don't feel
well," he murmured. "Excuse me." He moved the door to the
cockpit, which slightly blocked the door to the first class head, and opened
the bathroom door on the right.
"I'm afraid
you'll have to exit the plane," the pilot said sharply as Eddie opened the
bathroom door. "It's—"
"I believe I'm
going to vomit, and I don't want to do it on your shoes," Eddie said,
"or mine, either."
A second later he was
in with the door locked. The Captain was saying something. Eddie couldn't make
it out, didn't want to make it out. The important thing was that it was
just talk, not yelling, he had been right, no one was going to start yelling
with maybe two hundred and fifty passengers still waiting to deplane from the
single forward door. He was in, he was temporarily safe . . . but what good was
it going to do him?
If you're there, he
thought, you better do something very quick, whoever you are.
For a terrible moment
there was nothing at all. That was a short moment, but in Eddie Dean's head it
seemed to stretch out almost forever, like the Bonomo's Turkish Taffy Henry had
sometimes bought him in the summer when they were kids; if he were bad, Henry
beat the shit out of him, if he were good, Henry bought him Turkish Taffy. That
was the way Henry handled his heightened responsibilities during summer
vacation.
God, oh Christ, I
imagined it all, oh Jesus, how crazy could I have b—
Get ready, a
grim voice said. I can't do it alone. I can COME FORWARD but I can't
make you COME THROUGH. You have to do it with me. Turn around.
Eddie was suddenly
seeing through two pairs of eyes, feeling with two sets of nerves (but not all
the nerves of this other person were here; parts of the other were gone,
freshly gone, screaming with pain), sensing with ten senses, thinking with two
brains, his blood beating with two hearts.
He turned around.
There was a hole in the side of the bathroom, a hole that looked like a
doorway. Through it he could see a gray, grainy beach and waves the color of
old athletic socks breaking upon it.
He could hear the
waves.
He could smell salt, a
smell as bitter as tears in his nose.
Go through.
Someone was thumping
on the door to the bathroom, telling him to come out, that he must deplane at
once.
Go through, damn
you!
Eddie, moaning,
stepped toward the doorway . . . stumbled . . . and fell into another world.
13
He got slowly to his
feet, aware that he had cut his right palm on an edge of shell. He looked stupidly
at the blood welling across his lifeline, then saw another man rising slowly to
his feet on his right.
Eddie recoiled, his
feelings of disorientation and dreamy dislocation suddenly supplanted by sharp
terror: this man was dead and didn't know it. His face was gaunt, the skin
stretched over the bones of his face like strips of cloth wound around slim
angles of metal almost to the point where the cloth must tear itself open. The
man's skin was livid save for hectic spots of red high on each cheekbone, on
the neck below the angle of jaw on either side, and a single circular mark
between the eyes like a child's effort to replicate a Hindu caste symbol.
Yet his eyes—blue,
steady, sane—were alive and full of terrible and tenacious vitality. He wore
dark clothes of some homespun material; the shirt, its sleeves rolled up, was a
black faded almost to gray, the pants something that looked like bluejeans.
Gunbelts crisscrossed his hips, but the loops were almost all empty. The
holsters held guns that looked like .45s—but .45s of an incredibly antique
vintage. The smooth wood of their handgrips seemed to glow with their own inner
light.
Eddie, who didn't know
he had any intention of speaking—anything to say—heard himself saying
something nevertheless. "Are you a ghost?"
"Not yet,"
the man with the guns croaked. "The devil-weed. Cocaine. Whatever you call
it. Take off your shirt."
"Your arms—"
Eddie had seen them. The arms of the man who looked like the extravagant sort
of gunslinger one would only see in a spaghetti western were glowing with lines
of bright, baleful red. Eddie knew well enough what lines like that meant. They
meant blood-poisoning. They meant the devil was doing more than breathing up
your ass; he was already crawling up the sewers that led to your pumps.
"Never mind my
fucking arms!" the pallid apparition told him. "Take off your
shirt and get rid of it!"
He heard waves; he
heard the lonely hoot of a wind that knew no obstruction; he saw this mad dying
man and nothing else but desolation; yet from behind him he heard the murmuring
voices of deplaning passengers and a steady muffled pounding.
"Mr. Dean!" That
voice, he thought, is in another world. Not really doubting it; just
trying to pound it through his head the way you'd pound a nail through a thick
piece of mahogany. "You'll really have to—"
"You can leave
it, pick it up later," the gunslinger croaked. "Gods, don't you
understand I have to talk here? It hurts! And there is no time, you
idiot!"
There were men Eddie
would have killed for using such a word . . . but he had an idea that he might
have a job killing this man, even though the man looked like killing might do
him good.
Yet he sensed the
truth in those blue eyes; all questions were canceled in their mad glare.
Eddie began to
unbutton his shirt. His first impulse was to simply tear it off, like Clark
Kent while Lois Lane was tied to a railroad track or something, but that was no
good in real life; sooner or later you had to explain those missing buttons. So
he slipped them through the loops while the pounding behind him went on.
He yanked the shirt
out of his jeans, pulled it off, and dropped it, revealing the strapping tape
across his chest. He looked like a man in the last stages of recovery from
badly fractured ribs.
He snapped a glance
behind him and saw an open door ... its bottom jamb had dragged a fan shape in
the gray grit of the beach when someone—the dying man, presumably—had opened
it. Through the doorway he saw the first-class head, the basin, the mirror. . .
and in it his own desperate face, black hair spilled across his brow and over
his hazel eyes. In the background he saw the gunslinger, the beach, and soaring
seabirds that screeched and squabbled over God knew what.
He pawed at the tape,
wondering how to start, how to find a loose end, and a dazed sort of
hopelessness settled over him. This was the way a deer or a rabbit must feel
when it got halfway across a country road and turned its head only to be
fixated by the oncoming glare of headlights.
It had taken William
Wilson, the man whose name Poe had made famous, twenty minutes to strap him up.
They would have the door to the first-class bathroom open in five, seven at
most.
"I can't get this
shit off," he told the swaying man in front of him. "I don't know who
you are or where I am, but I'm telling you there's too much tape and too little
time."
14
Deere, the co-pilot,
suggested Captain McDonald ought to lay off pounding on the door when McDonald,
in his frustration at 3A's lack of response, began to do so.
"Where's he going
to go?" Deere asked. "What's he going to do? Flush himself down the
John? He's too big."
"But if he's
carrying—" McDonald began.
Deere, who had himself
used cocaine on more than a few occasions, said: "If he's carrying, he's carrying
heavy. He can't get rid of it."
"Turn off the
water," McDonald snapped suddenly.
"Already
have," the navigator (who had also tooted more than his flute on occasion)
said. "But I don't think it matters. You can dissolve what goes into the
holding tanks but you can't make it not there." They were clustered around
the bathroom door, with its OCCUPIED sign glowing jeerily, all of them speaking
in low tones. "The DEA guys drain it, draw off a sample, and the guy's
hung."
"He could always
say someone came in before him and dumped it," McDonald replied. His voice
was gaining a raw edge. He didn't want to be talking about this; he wanted to
be doing something about it, even though he was acutely aware that the geese
were still filing out, many looking with more than ordinary curiosity at the
flight-deck crew and stewardesses gathered around the bathroom door. For their
part, the crew were acutely aware that an act that was—well, overly overt—could
provoke the terrorist boogeyman that now lurked in the back of every
air-traveler’s mind. McDonald knew his navigator and flight engineer were
right, he knew that the stuff was apt to be in plastic bags with the
scuzzball's prints on them, and yet he felt alarm bells going off in his mind.
Something was not right about this. Something inside of him kept screaming Fast
one! Fast one! as if the fellow from 3A were a riverboat gambler with
palmed aces he was all ready to play.
"He's not trying
to flush the John," Susy Douglas said. "He's not even trying to run
the basin faucets. We'd hear them sucking air if he was. I hear something,
but—"
"Leave,"
McDonald said curtly. His eyes flicked to Jane Doming. "You too. We'll
take care of this."
Jane turned to go,
cheeks burning.
Susy said quietly:
"Jane bird-dogged him and I spotted the bulges under his shirt. I think
we'll stay, Captain McDonald. If you want to bring charges of insubordination,
you can. But I want you to remember that you may be raping the hell out
of what could be a really big DEA bust."
Their eyes locked, flint
sparking off steel.
Susy said, "I've
flown with you seventy, eighty times, Mac. I'm trying to be your friend."
McDonald looked at her
a moment longer, then nodded. "Stay, then. But I want both of you back a
step toward the cockpit."
He stood on his toes,
looked back, and saw the end of the line now just emerging from tourist class
into business. Two minutes, maybe three.
He turned to the gate
agent at the mouth of the hatch, who was watching them closely. He must have
sensed some sort of problem, because he had unholstered his walkie-talkie and
was holding it in his hand.
"Tell him I want
customs agents up here," McDonald said quietly to the navigator.
"Three or four. Armed. Now."
The navigator made his
way through the line of passengers, excusing himself with an easy grin, and
spoke quietly to the gate agent, who raised his walkie-talkie to his mouth and
spoke quietly into it.
McDonald—who had never
put anything stronger than aspirin into his system in his entire life and that
only rarely— turned to Deere. His lips were pressed into a thin white line like
a scar.
"As soon as the
last of the passengers are off, we're breaking that shithouse door open,"
he said. "I don't care if Customs is here or not. Do you
understand?"
"Roger,"
Deere said, and watched the tail of the line make its way into first class.
15
"Get my
knife," the gunslinger said. "It's in my purse."
He gestured toward a
cracked leather bag lying on the sand. It looked more like a big packsack than
a purse, the kind of thing you expected to see hippies carrying as they made
their way along the Appalachian Trail, getting high on nature (and maybe a
bomber joint every now and then), except this looked like the real thing, not
just a prop for some airhead's self-image; something that had done years and
years of hard— maybe desperate—travelling.
Gestured, but did not
point. Couldn't point. Eddie realized why the man had a swatch of dirty
shirting wrapped around his right hand: some of his fingers were gone.
"Get it," he
said. "Cut through the tape. Try not to cut yourself. It's easy to do.
You'll have to be careful, but you'll have to move fast just the same. There
isn't much time."
"I know
that," Eddie said, and knelt on the sand. None of this was real. That was
it, that was the answer. As Henry Dean, the great sage and eminent junkie would
have put it, Flip-flop, hippety-hop, offa your rocker and over the top,
life's a fiction and the world's a lie, so put on some Creedence and let's get
high.
None of it was real,
it was all just an extraordinarily vivid nodder, so the best thing was just to
ride low and go with the flow.
It sure was a
vivid nodder. He was reaching for the zipper—or maybe it would be a velcro
strip—on the man's "purse" when he saw it was held together by a crisscross
pattern of rawhide thongs, some of which had broken and been carefully
reknotted—reknotted small enough so they would still slide through the
grommetted eyelets.
Eddie pulled the drag-knot
at the top, spread the bag's opening, and found the knife beneath a slightly
damp package that was the piece of shirting tied around the bullets. Just the
handle was enough to take his breath away ... it was the true mellow gray-white
of pure silver, engraved with a complex series of patterns that caught the eye,
drew it—
Pain exploded in his
ear, roared across his head, and momentarily puffed a red cloud across his
vision. He fell clumsily over the open purse, struck the sand, and looked up at
the pale man in the cut-down boots. This was no nodder. The blue eyes blazing
from that dying face were the eyes of all truth.
"Admire it later,
prisoner," the gunslinger said. "For now just use it."
He could feel his ear
throbbing, swelling.
"Why do you keep
calling me that?"
"Cut the
tape," the gunslinger said grimly. "If they break into yon privy
while you're still over here, I've got a feeling you're going to be here for a
very long time. And with a corpse for company before long."
Eddie pulled the knife
out of the scabbard. Not old; more than old, more than ancient. The blade,
honed almost to the point of invisibility, seemed to be all age caught in
metal.
"Yeah, it looks
sharp," he said, and his voice wasn't steady.
16
The last passengers
were filing out into the jetway. One of them, a lady of some seventy summers
with that exquisite look of confusion which only first-time fliers with too
many years or too little English seem capable of wearing, stopped to show Jane
Doming her tickets. "How will I ever find my plane to
Montreal?" she asked. "And what about my bags? Do they do my Customs
here or there?"
"There will be a
gate agent at the top of the jetway who can give you all the information you
need, ma'am," Jane said.
"Well, I don't
see why you can't give me all the information I need," the old
woman said. "That jetway thing is still full of people."
"Move on, please,
madam," Captain McDonald said. "We have a problem."
"Well, pardon me
for living," the old woman said huffily, "I guess I just fell off the
hearse!"
And strode past them,
nose tilted like the nose of a dog scenting a fire still some distance away,
tote-bag clutched in one hand, ticket-folder (with so many boarding-pass stubs
sticking out of it that one might have been tempted to believe the lady had
come most of the way around the globe, changing planes at every stop along the
way) in the other.
"There's a lady
who may never fly Delta's big jets again," Susy murmured.
"I don't give a
fuck if she flies stuffed down the front of Superman's Jockies," McDonald
said. "She the last?"
Jane darted past them,
glanced at the seats in business class, then poked her head into the main
cabin. It was deserted.
She came back and
reported the plane empty.
McDonald turned to the
jetway and saw two uniformed Customs agents fighting their way through the
crowd, excusing themselves but not bothering to look back at the people they
jostled aside. The last of these was the old lady, who dropped her
ticket-folder. Papers flew and fluttered everywhere and she shrilled after
them like an angry crow.
"Okay,"
McDonald said, "you guys stop right there."
"Sir, we're
Federal Customs officers—"
"That's right,
and I requested you, and I'm glad you came so fast. Now you just stand right
there because this is my plane and that guy in there is one of my geese. Once
he's off the plane and into the jetway, he's your goose and you can cook him
any way you want." He nodded to Deere. "I'm going to give the son of
a bitch one more chance and then we're going to break the door in."
"Okay by
me," Deere said.
McDonald whacked on
the bathroom door with the heel of his hand and yelled, "Come on out, my
friend! I'm done asking!"
There was no answer.
"Okay,"
McDonald said. "Let's do it."
17
Dimly, Eddie heard an
old woman say: "Well, pardon me for living! I guess I just fell off the
hearse!"
He had parted half the
strapping tape. When the old woman spoke his hand jerked a little and he saw a
trickle of blood run down his belly.
"Shit,"
Eddie said.
"It can't be
helped now," the gunslinger said in his hoarse voice. "Finish the
job. Or does the sight of blood make you sick?"
"Only when it's
my own," Eddie said. The tape had started just above his belly. The higher
he cut the harder it got to see. He got another three inches or so, and almost
cut himself again when he heard McDonald speaking to the Customs agents:
"Okay, you guys stop right there."
"I can finish and
maybe cut myself wide open or you can try," Eddie said. "I can't see
what I'm doing. My fucking chin's in the way."
The gunslinger took
the knife in his left hand. The hand was shaking. Watching that blade, honed to
a suicidal sharpness, shaking like that made Eddie extremely nervous.
"Maybe I better
chance it mys—"
"Wait."
The gunslinger stared
fixedly at his left hand. Eddie didn't exactly disbelieve in telepathy, but he
had never exactly believed in it, either. Nevertheless, he felt
something now, something as real and palpable as heat baking out of an oven.
After a few seconds he realized what it was: the gathering of this strange
man's will.
How the hell can he be
dying if I can feel the force of him that strongly?
The shaking hand began
to steady down. Soon it was barely shivering. After no more than ten seconds it
was as solid as a rock.
"Now," the
gunslinger said. He took a step forward, raised the knife, and Eddie felt
something else baking off him—rancid fever.
"Are you
left-handed?" Eddie asked.
"No," the
gunslinger said.
"Oh Jesus,''
Eddie said, and decided he might feel better if he closed his eyes for a
moment. He heard the harsh whisper of the masking tape parting.
"There," the
gunslinger said, stepping back. "Now pull it off as far as you can. I'll
get the back."
No polite little
knocks on the bathroom door now; this was a hammering fist. The passengers
are out, Eddie thought. No more Mr. Nice Guy. Oh shit.
"Come on out, my
friend! I'm done asking!"
"Yank it!"
the gunslinger growled.
Eddie grabbed a thick
tab of strapping tape in each hand and yanked as hard as he could. It hurt,
hurt like hell. Stop bellyaching, he thought. Things could be worse.
You could be hairy-chested, like Henry.
He looked down and saw
a red band of irritated skin about seven inches wide across his sternum. Just
above the solar plexus was the place where he had poked himself. Blood welled
in a dimple and ran down to his navel in a scarlet runnel. Beneath his armpits,
the bags of dope now dangled like badly tied saddlebags.
"Okay," the
muffled voice beyond the bathroom door said to someone else. "Let's d—"
Eddie lost the rest of
it in the unexpected riptide of pain across his back as the gunslinger
unceremoniously tore the rest of the girdle from him.
He bit down against a
scream.
"Put your shirt
on," the gunslinger said. His face, which Eddie had thought as pallid as
the face of a living man could become, was now the color of ancient ashes. He
held the girdle of tape (now sticking to itself in a meaningless tangle, the
big bags of white stuff looking like strange cocoons) in his left hand, then
tossed it aside. Eddie saw fresh blood seeping through the makeshift bandage on
the gunslinger's right hand. "Do it fast."
There was a thudding
sound. This wasn't someone pounding for admittance. Eddie looked up in time to
see the bathroom door shudder, to see the lights in there flicker. They were
trying to break it in.
He picked his shirt up
with fingers that suddenly seemed too large, too clumsy. The left sleeve was
turned inside out. He tried to stuff it back through the hole, got his hand
stuck for a moment, then yanked it out so hard he pulled the sleeve back again
with it.
Thud, and
the bathroom door shivered again.
"Gods, how can
you be so clumsy?" the gunslinger moaned, and rammed his own fist into the
left sleeve of Eddie's shirt. Eddie grabbed the cuff as the gunslinger pulled
back. Now the gunslinger held the shirt for him as a butler might hold a coat
for his master. Eddie put it on and groped for the lowest button.
"Not yet!"
the gunslinger barked, and tore another piece away from his own diminishing
shirt. "Wipe your gut!"
Eddie did the best he
could. The dimple where the knife had actually pierced his skin was still
welling blood. The blade was sharp, all right. Sharp enough.
He dropped the bloody
wad of the gunslinger's shirt on the sand and buttoned his shirt.
Thud. This
time the door did more than shudder; it buckled in its frame. Looking through
the doorway on the beach, Eddie saw the bottle of liquid soap fall from where
it had been standing beside the basin. It landed on his zipper bag.
He had meant to stuff
his shirt, which was now buttoned (and buttoned straight, for a wonder), into
his pants. Suddenly a better idea struck him. He unbuckled his belt instead.
"There's no time
for that!" The gunslinger realized he was trying to scream and was unable.
"That door's only got one hit left in it!"
"I know what I'm
doing," Eddie said, hoping he did, and stepped back through the doorway
between the worlds, unsnapping his jeans and raking the zipper down as he went.
After one desperate,
despairing moment, the gunslinger followed him; physical and full of hot
physical ache at one moment, nothing but cool ka in Eddie's head at the
next.
18
"One more,"
McDonald said grimly, and Deere nodded. Now that all the passengers were out of
the jetway as well as the plane itself, the Customs agents had drawn their
weapons.
"Now!"
The two men drove
forward and hit the door together. It flew open, a chunk of it hanging for a
moment from the lock and then dropping to the floor.
And there sat Mr. 3A,
with his pants around his knees and the tails of his faded paisley shirt
concealing—barely—his jackhandle. Well, it sure does look like we caught him
in the act, Captain McDonald thought wearily. Only trouble is, the act
we caught him in wasn't against the law, last I heard. Suddenly he could
feel the throb in his shoulder where he had hit the door—what? three times?
four?
Out loud he barked,
"What in hell's name are you doing in there, mister?"
"Well, I was taking
a crap, " 3A said, "but if all you guys got a bad problem, I
guess I could wipe myself in the terminal—"
"And I suppose
you didn't hear us, smart guy?"
"Couldn't reach
the door." 3A put out his hand to demonstrate, and although the door was
now hanging askew against the wall to his left, McDonald could see his point.
"I suppose I could have gotten up, but I, like, had a desperate situation
on my hands. Except it wasn't exactly on my hands, if you get my drift.
Nor did I want it on my hands, if you catch my further drift."
3A smiled a winning, slightly daffy smile which looked to Captain McDonald
approximately as real as a nine-dollar bill. Listening to him, you'd think no
one had ever taught him the simple trick of leaning forward.
"Get up,"
McDonald said.
"Be happy to. If
you could just move the ladies back a little?" 3 A smiled charmingly.
"I know it's outdated in this day and age, but I can't help it. I'm
modest. Fact is, I've got a lot to be modest about." He held up his left
hand, thumb and forefinger roughly half an inch apart, and winked at Jane
Doming, who blushed bright red and immediately disappeared up the jetway,
closely followed by Susy.
You don't look
modest, Captain McDonald thought. You look like a cat that
just got the cream, that's what you look like.
When the stews were
out of sight, 3 A stood and pulled up his shorts and jeans. He then reached for
the flush button and Captain McDonald promptly knocked his hand away, grabbed
his shoulders, and pivoted him toward the aisle. Deere hooked a restraining
hand into the back of his pants.
"Don't get
personal," Eddie said. His voice was light and just right—he thought so,
anyway—but inside everything was in free fall. He could feel that other, feel
him clearly. He was inside his mind, watching him closely, standing steady,
meaning to move in if Eddie fucked up. God, it all had to be a dream, didn't
it? Didn't it?
"Stand
still," Deere said.
Captain McDonald
peered into the toilet.
"No shit,"
he said, and when the navigator let out a bray of involuntary laughter,
McDonald glared at him.
"Well, you know
how it is," Eddie said. "Sometimes you get lucky and it's just a
false alarm. I let off a couple of real rippers, though. I mean, we're talking
swamp gas. If you'd lit a match in here three minutes ago, you could have
roasted a Thanksgiving turkey, you know? It must have been something I ate
before I got on the plane, I g—"
"Get rid of
him,'' McDonald said, and Deere, still holding Eddie by the back of the pants,
propelled him out of the plane and into the jetway, where each Customs officer
took one arm.
"Hey!" Eddie
cried. "I want my bag! And I want my jacket!"
"Oh, we want you
to have all your stuff," one of the officers said. His breath, heavy
with the smell of Maalox and stomach acid, puffed against Eddie's face.
"We're very interested in your stuff. Now let's go, little buddy."
Eddie kept telling
them to take it easy, mellow out, he could walk just fine, but he thought later
the tips of his shoes only touched the floor of the jetway three or four times
between the 727's hatch and the exit to the terminal, where three more Customs
officers and half a dozen airport security cops stood, the Customs guys waiting
for Eddie, the cops holding back a small crowd that stared at him with uneasy,
avid interest as he was led away.
CHAPTER
4
THE
TOWER
1
Eddie Dean was sitting
in a chair. The chair was in a small white room. It was the only chair in the
small white room. The small white room was crowded. The small white room was
smoky. Eddie was in his underpants. Eddie wanted a cigarette. The other six—no,
seven—men in the small white room were dressed. The other men were standing
around him, enclosing him. Three—no, four—of them were smoking cigarettes.
Eddie wanted to jitter
and jive. Eddie wanted to hop and bop.
Eddie sat still,
relaxed, looking at the men around him with amused interest, as if he wasn't
going crazy for a fix, as if he wasn't going crazy from simple claustrophobia.
The other in his
mind was the reason why. He had been terrified of the other at first.
Now he thanked God the other was there.
The other might
be sick, dying even, but there was enough steel left in his spine for him to
have some left to loan this scared twenty-one-year-old junkie.
"That is a very
interesting red mark on your chest," one of the Customs men said. A
cigarette hung from the corner of his mouth. There was a pack in his shirt
pocket. Eddie felt as if he could take about five of the cigarettes in that
pack, line his mouth with them from corner to corner, light them all, inhale
deeply, and be easier in his mind. "It looks like a stripe. It looks like
you had something taped there, Eddie, and all at once decided it would be a
good idea to rip it off and get rid of it."
"I picked up an
allergy in the Bahamas," Eddie said. "I told you that. I mean, we've
been through all of this several times. I'm trying to keep my sense of humor,
but it's getting harder all the time."
"Fuck your
sense of humor," another said savagely, and Eddie recognized that tone. It
was the way he himself sounded when he'd spent half a night in the cold waiting
for the man and the man didn't come. Because these guys were junkies, too. The
only difference was guys like him and Henry were their junk.
"What about that
hole in your gut? Where'd that come from, Eddie? Publishers' Clearing
House?" A third agent was pointing at the spot where Eddie had poked
himself. It had finally stopped dribbling but there was still a dark purple
bubble there which looked more than ready to break open at the slightest
urging.
Eddie indicated the
red band where the tape had been. "It itches," he said. This was no
lie. "I fell asleep on the plane— check the stew if you don't believe
me—"
"Why wouldn't we believe
you, Eddie?"
"I don't
know," Eddie said. "Do you usually get big drug smugglers who snooze
on their way in?" He paused, gave them a second to think about it, then
held out his hands. Some of the nails were ragged. Others were jagged. When you
went cool turkey, he had discovered, your nails suddenly became your favorite
munchies. "I've been pretty good about not scratching, but I must have dug
myself a damned good one while I was sleeping."
"Or while you
were on the nod. That could be a needle-mark." Eddie could see they both
knew better. You shot yourself up that close to the solar plexus, which was
the nervous system's switchboard, you weren't ever going to shoot yourself up
again.
"Give me a
break," Eddie said. "You were in my face so close to look at my
pupils I thought you were going to soul-kiss me. You know I wasn't on the
nod."
The third Customs
agent looked disgusted. "For an innocent lambikins, you know an awful lot
about dope, Eddie."
"What I didn't
pick up on Miami Vice I got from The Readers' Digest. Now tell me
the truth—how many times are we going to go through this?"
A fourth agent held up
a small plastic Baggie. In it were several fibers.
"These are
filaments. We'll get lab confirmation, but we know what sort they are. They're filaments
of strapping tape."
"I didn't take a
shower before I left the hotel," Eddie said for the fourth time. "I
was out by the pool, getting some sun. Trying to get rid of the rash. The allergy
rash. I fell asleep. I was damned lucky to make the plane at all. I had to
run like hell. The wind was blowing. I don't know what stuck to my skin and
what didn't."
Another reached out
and ran a finger up the three inches of flesh from the inner bend of Eddie's
left elbow.
"And these aren't
needle tracks."
Eddie shoved the hand
away. "Mosquito bites. I told you. Almost healed. Jesus Christ, you can
see that for yourself!"
They could. This deal
hadn't come up overnight. Eddie had stopped arm-popping a month ago. Henry
couldn't have done that, and that was one of the reasons it had been Eddie, had
to be Eddie. When he absolutely had to fix, he had taken it very
high on his upper left thigh, where his left testicle lay against the skin of
the leg... as he had the other night, when the sallow thing had finally brought
him some stuff that was okay. Mostly he had just snorted, something with which
Henry could no longer content himself. This caused feelings Eddie couldn't
exactly define ... a mixture of pride and shame. If they looked there, if they
pushed his testicles aside, he could have some serious problems. A blood-test
could cause him problems even more serious, but that was one step further than
they could go without some sort of evidence—and evidence was something they
just didn't have. They knew everything but could prove nothing. All the
difference between world and want, his dear old mother would have said.
"Mosquito
bites."
"Yes."
"And the red
mark's an allergic reaction."
"Yes. I had it
when I went to the Bahamas; it just wasn't that bad."
"He had it when
he went down there," one of the men said to another.
"Uh-huh,"
the second said. "You believe it?"
"Sure."
"You believe in
Santa Claus?"
"Sure. When I was
a kid I even had my picture taken with him once." He looked at Eddie.
"You got a picture of this famous red mark from before you took your
little trip, Eddie?"
Eddie didn't reply.
"If you're clean,
why won't you take a blood-test?" This was the first guy again, the guy
with the cigarette in the corner of his mouth. It had almost burned down to the
filter.
Eddie was suddenly
angry—white-hot angry. He listened inside.
Okay, the
voice responded at once, and Eddie felt more than agreement, he felt a kind of
go-to-the-wall approval. It made him feel the way he felt when Henry hugged
him, tousled his hair, punched him on the shoulder, and said You done good,
kid—don't let it go to your head, but you done good.
"You know I'm
clean." He stood up suddenly—so suddenly they moved back. He looked at
the smoker who was closest to him. "And I'll tell you something, babe, if you
don't get that coffin-nail out my face I'm going to knock it out."
The guy recoiled.
"You guys have
emptied the crap-tank on that plane already. God, you've had enough time to have
been through it three times. You've been through my stuff. I bent over and let
one of you stick the world's longest finger up my ass. If a prostate check is
an exam, that was a motherfucking safari. I was scared to look down. I thought
I'd see that guy's fingernail sticking out of my cock."
He glared around at
them.
"You've been up
my ass, you've been through my stuff, and I'm sitting here in a pair of Jockies
with you guys blowing smoke in my faces. You want a blood-test? Kay. Bring in
someone to do it."
They murmured, looked
at each other. Surprised. Uneasy.
"But if you want
to do it without a court order," Eddie said, "whoever does it better
bring a lot of extra hypos and vials, because I'll be damned if I'm gonna piss
alone. I want a Federal marshal in here, and I want each one of you to take the
same goddam test, and I want your names and IDs on each vial, and I want them
to go into that Federal marshal's custody. And whatever you test mine
for—cocaine, heroin, bennies, pot, whatever—I want those same tests performed
on the samples from you guys. And then I want the results turned over to my
lawyer."
"Oh boy, YOUR
LAWYER," one of them cried. "That's what it always comes down to with
you shitbags, doesn't it, Eddie? You'll hear from MY LAWYER. I'll sic MY LAWYER
on you. That crap makes me want to puke!"
"As a matter of
fact I don't currently have one," Eddie said, and this was the truth.
"I didn't think I needed one. You guys changed my mind. You got nothing
because I have nothing, but the rock and roll just doesn't stop, does
it? So you want me to dance? Great. I'll dance. But I'm not gonna do it alone.
You guys'll have to dance, too."
There was a thick,
difficult silence.
"I'd like you to
take down your shorts again, please, Mr. Dean," one of them said. This guy
was older. This guy looked like he was in charge of things. Eddie thought that
maybe— just maybe—this guy had finally realized where the fresh tracks might
be. Until now they hadn't checked. His arms, his shoulders, his legs . . . but
not there. They had been too sure they had a bust.
"I'm through
taking things off, taking things down, and eating this shit," Eddie said.
"You get someone in here and we'll do a bunch of blood-tests or I'm
getting out. Now which do you want?"
That silence again. And
when they started looking at each other, Eddie knew he had won.
WE won, he
amended. What's your name, fella?
Roland. Yours is
Eddie. Eddie Dean.
You listen good.
Listen and watch.
"Give him his
clothes," the older man said disgustedly. He looked at Eddie. "I
don't know what you had or how you got rid of it, but I want you to know that
we're going to find out."
The old dude surveyed
him.
"So there you
sit. There you sit, almost grinning. What you say doesn't make me want to puke.
What you are does."
"I make
you want to puke."
"That's
affirmative."
"Oh boy,"
Eddie said. "I love it. I'm sitting here in a little room and I've got
nothing on but my underwear and there's seven guys around me with guns on their
hips and/ make you want to puke? Man, you have got a problem."
Eddie took a step
toward him. The Customs guy held his ground for a moment, and then something in
Eddie's eyes—a crazy color that seemed half-hazel, half-blue—made him step back
against his will.
"I'M NOT
CARRYING!" Eddie roared. "QUIT NOW! JUST
QUIT! LET ME ALONE!"
The silence again.
Then the older man turned around and yelled at someone, "Didn't you hear
me? Get his clothes!"
And that was that.
2
"You think we're
being tailed?" the cabbie asked. He sounded amused.
Eddie turned forward.
"Why do you say that?" "You keep looking out the back
window." "I never thought about being tailed," Eddie said. This
was the absolute truth. He had seen the tails the first time he looked around. Tails,
not tail. He didn't have to keep looking around to confirm their presence.
Out-patients from a sanitarium for the mentally retarded would have trouble
losing Eddie's cab on this late May afternoon; traffic on the L.I.E. was
sparse. "I'm a student of traffic patterns, that's all."
"Oh," the
cabbie said. In some circles such an odd statement would have prompted
questions, but New York cab drivers rarely question; instead they assert,
usually in a grand manner. Most of these assertions begin with the phrase This
city! as if the words were a religious invocation preceding a sermon . . .
which they usually were. Instead, this one said: "Because if you did think
we were being tailed, we're not. I'd know. This city! Jesus! I've tailed plenty
of people in my time. You'd be surprised how many people jump into my cab and
say 'Follow that car.' I know, sounds like something you only hear in the
movies, right? Right. But like they say, art imitates life and life imitates
art. It really happens! And as for shaking a tail, it's easy if you know how to
set the guy up. You ..."
Eddie tuned the cabbie
down to a background drone, listening just enough so he could nod in the right
places. When you thought about it, the cabbie's rap was actually quite amusing.
One of the tails was a dark blue sedan. Eddie guessed that one belonged to
Customs. The other was a panel truck with GINELLI'S PIZZA written on the sides.
There was also a picture of a pizza, only the pizza was a smiling boy's face,
and the smiling boy was smacking his lips, and written under the picture was
the slogan "UMMMMM! It's-a GOOOOD Pizza!" Only some young
urban artist with a spray-can and a rudimentary sense of humor had drawn a
line through Pizza and had printed PUSSY above it.
Ginelli. There was
only one Ginelli Eddie knew; he ran a restaurant called Four Fathers. The pizza
business was a sideline, a guaranteed stiff, an accountant's angel. Ginelli
and Balazar. They went together like hot dogs and mustard.
According to the
original plan, there was to have been a limo waiting outside the terminal with
a driver ready to whisk him away to Balazar's place of business, which was a
midtown saloon. But of course the original plan hadn't included two hours in a
little white room, two hours of steady questioning from one bunch of Customs
agents while another bunch first drained and then raked the contents of Flight
901 's waste-tanks, looking for the big carry they also suspected, the big
carry that would be unflushable, undissolvable.
When he came out,
there was no limo, of course. The driver would have had his instructions: if
the mule isn't out of the terminal fifteen minutes or so after the rest of the
passengers have come out, drive away fast. The limo driver would know better
than to use the car's telephone, which was actually a radio that could easily
be monitored. Balazar would call people, find out Eddie had struck trouble, and
get ready for trouble of his own. Balazar might have recognized Eddie's steel,
but that didn't change the fact that Eddie was a junkie. A junkie could not be
relied upon to be a stand-up guy.
This meant there was a
possibility that the pizza truck just might pull up in the lane next to the
taxi, someone just might stick an automatic weapon out of the pizza truck's
window, and then the back of the cab would become something that looked like a
bloody cheese-grater. Eddie would have been more worried about that if they had
held him for four hours instead of two, and seriously worried if it had been
six hours instead of four. But only two ... he thought Balazar would trust him
to have hung on to his lip at least that long. He would want to know about his
goods.
The real reason Eddie
kept looking back was the door.
It fascinated him.
As the Customs agents
had half-carried, half-dragged him down the stairs to Kennedy's administration
section, he had looked back over his shoulder and there it had been, improbable
but indubitably, inarguably real, floating along at a distance of about three
feet. He could see the waves rolling steadily in, crashing on the sand; he saw
that the day over there was beginning to darken.
The door was like one
of those trick pictures with a hidden image in them, it seemed; you couldn't
see that hidden part for the life of you at first, but once you had, you
couldn't unsee it, no matter how hard you tried.
It had disappeared on
the two occasions when the gunslinger went back without him, and that had been
scary— Eddie had felt like a child whose nightlight has burned out. The first
time had been during the customs interrogation.
I
have to go, Roland's voice had cut cleanly through whatever question
they were currently throwing at him. I'll only be a few moments. Don't be
afraid.
Why? Eddie
asked. Why do you have to go?
"What's
wrong?" one of the Customs guys had asked him. "All of a sudden you
look scared."
All of a sudden he had
felt scared, but of nothing this yo-yo would
understand.
He looked over his
shoulder, and the Customs men had also turned. They saw nothing but a blank
white wall covered with white panels drilled with holes to damp sound; Eddie
saw the door, its usual three feet away (now it was embedded in the room's
wall, an escape hatch none of his interrogators could see). He saw more. He saw
things coming out of the waves, things that looked like refugees
from a horror movie where the effects are just a little more special than you
want them to be, special enough so everything looks real. They looked like a
hideous cross-breeding of prawn, lobster, and spider. They were making some
weird sound.
"You getting the
jim-jams?" one of the Customs guys had asked. "Seeing a few bugs
crawling down the wall, Eddie?"
That was so close to
the truth that Eddie had almost laughed. He understood why the man named Roland
had to go back, though; Roland's mind was safe enough—at least for the time
being—but the creatures were moving toward his body, and Eddie had a suspicion
that if Roland did not soon vacate it from the area it currently occupied,
there might not be any body left to go back to.
Suddenly in his head
he heard David Lee Roth bawling: Oh lyyyyy . . . ain't got no body . . . and
this time he did laugh. He couldn't help it.
"What's so
funny?" the Customs agent who had wanted to know if he was seeing bugs
asked him.
"This whole situation,"
Eddie had responded. "Only in the sense of peculiar, not hilarious. I
mean, if it was a movie it would be more like Fellini than Woody Alien, if you
get what I mean."
You'll be all right? Roland
asked.
Yeah, fine. TCB, man.
I don't understand.
Go take care of
business.
Oh. All right. I'll
not be long.
And suddenly that other
had been gone. Simply gone. Like a wisp of smoke so thin that the slightest
vagary of wind could blow it away. Eddie looked around again, saw nothing but
drilled white panels, no door, no ocean, no weird monstrosities, and he felt
his gut begin to tighten. There was no question of believing it had all been a
hallucination after all; the dope was gone, and that was all the proof Eddie
needed. But Roland had ... helped, somehow. Made it easier.
"You want me to
hang a picture there?" one of the Customs guys asked.
"No," Eddie
said, and blew out a sigh. "I want you to let me out of here."
"Soon as you tell
us what you did with the skag," another said, "or was it coke?"
And so it started again: round and round she goes and where she stops nobody
knows.
Ten minutes later—ten
very long minutes—Roland was suddenly back in his mind. One second gone,
next second there. Eddie sensed he was deeply exhausted.
Taken care of? he
asked.
Yes. I'm sorry it took
so long. A pause. I had to crawl.
Eddie looked around
again. The doorway had returned, but now it offered a slightly different view
of that world, and he realized that, as it moved with him here, it moved with
Roland there. The thought made him shiver a little. It was like being tied to
this other by some weird umbilicus. The gunslinger's body lay collapsed in
front of it as before, but now he was looking down a long stretch of beach to
the braided high-tide line where the monsters wandered about, growling and
buzzing. Each time a wave broke all of them raised their claws. They looked
like the audiences in those old documentary films where Hitler's speaking and
everyone is throwing that old seig heil! salute like their lives
depended on it—which ; they probably did, when you thought about it. Eddie
could see the tortured markings of the gunslinger's progress in the sand.
As Eddie watched, one
of the horrors reached up, lightning quick, and snared a sea-bird which
happened to swoop ; too close to the beach. The thing fell to the sand in two
bloody, spraying chunks. The parts were covered by the shelled horrors even
before they had stopped twitching. A single white feather drifted up. A claw
snatched it down.
Holy Christ, Eddie thought
numbly. Look at those snappers.
"Why do
you keep looking back there?" the guy in charge had asked.
"From time to
time I need an antidote," Eddie said.
"From what?"
"Your face."
3
The cab driver dropped
Eddie at the building in Co-Op City, thanked him for the dollar tip, and drove
off. Eddie just stood for a moment, zipper bag in one hand, his jacket hooked
over a finger of the other and slung back over his shoulder. Here he shared a
two-bedroom apartment with his brother. He stood for a moment looking up at it,
a monolith with all the style and taste of a brick Saltines box. The many
windows made it look like a prison cellblock to Eddie, and he found the view as
depressing as Roland—the other—did amazing.
Never, even as a
child, did I see a building so high, Roland said. And
there are so many of them!
Yeah, Eddie
agreed. We live like a bunch of ants in a hill. It may look good to you, but
I'll tell you, Roland, it gets old. It gets old in a hurry.
The blue car cruised
by; the pizza truck turned in and approached. Eddie stiffened and felt Roland
stiffen inside him. Maybe they intended to blow him away after all.
The door? Roland
asked. Shall we go through? Do you wish it? Eddie sensed Roland was
ready—for anything—but the voice was calm.
Not yet, Eddie
said. Could be they only want to talk. But be ready.
He sensed that was an
unnecessary thing to say; he sensed that Roland was readier to move and act in
his deepest sleep than Eddie would ever be in his most wide-awake moment.
The pizza truck with
the smiling kid on the side closed in. The passenger window rolled down and
Eddie waited outside the entrance to his building with his shadow trailing out
long in front of him from the toes of his sneakers, waiting to see which it
would be—a face or a gun.
4
The second time Roland
left him had been no more than five minutes after the Customs people had
finally given up and let Eddie go.
The gunslinger had
eaten, but not enough; he needed to drink; most of all he needed medicine.
Eddie couldn't yet help him with the medicine Roland really needed (although he
suspected the gunslinger was right and Balazar could ... if Balazar wanted to),
but simple aspirin might at least knock down the fever that Eddie had felt when
the gunslinger stepped close to sever the top part of the tape girdle. He
paused in front of the newsstand in the main terminal.
Do you have aspirin
where you come from?
I have never heard of
it. Is it magic or medicine?
Both, I guess.
Eddie went into the
newsstand and bought a tin of Extra-Strength Anacin. He went over to the snack
bar and bought a couple of foot-long dogs and an extra-large Pepsi. He was
putting mustard and catsup on the franks (Henry called the foot-longs
Godzilla-dogs) when he suddenly remembered this stuff wasn't for him. For all
he knew, Roland might not like mustard and catsup. For all he knew,
Roland might be a veggie. For all he knew, this crap might kill Roland.
Well, too late now, Eddie
thought. When Roland spoke— when Roland acted—Eddie knew all this was
really happening. When he was quiet, that giddy feeling that it must be a
dream—an extraordinarily vivid dream he was having as he slept on Delta 901
inbound to Kennedy—insisted on creeping back.
Roland had told him he
could carry the food into his own world. He had already done something similar
once, he said, when Eddie was asleep. Eddie found it all but impossible to
believe, but Roland assured him it was true.
Well, we still have to
be damned careful, Eddie said. They've got two Customs
guys watching me. Us. Whatever the hell I am now.
I know we have to be
careful, Roland returned. There aren't two; there are
five. Eddie suddenly felt one of the weirdest sensations of his entire
life. He did not move his eyes but felt them moved. Roland moved them.
A guy in a muscle
shirt talking into a telephone.
A woman sitting on a
bench, rooting through her purse.
A young black guy who
would have been spectacularly handsome except for the harelip which surgery had
only partially repaired, looking at the tee-shirts in the newsstand Eddie had
come from not long since.
There was nothing
wrong about any of them on top, but Eddie recognized them for what they were
nonetheless and it was like seeing those hidden images in a child's puzzle,
which, once seen, could never be unseen. He felt dull heat in his cheeks,
because it had taken the other to point out what he should have seen at
once. He had spotted only two. These three were a little better, but not that
much; the eyes of the phone-man weren't blank, imagining the person he was
talking to but aware, actually looking, and the place where Eddie was .
. . that was the place to which the phone-man's eyes just happened to keep
returning. The purse-woman didn't find what she wanted or give up but simply
went on rooting endlessly. And the shopper had had a chance to look at every
shirt on the spindle-rack at least a dozen times.
All of a sudden Eddie
felt five again, afraid to cross the street without Henry to hold his hand.
Never mind, Roland
said. And don't worry about the food, either. I've eaten bugs while they
were still lively enough for some of them to go running down my throat.
Yeah, Eddie
replied, but this is New York.
He took the dogs and
the soda to the far end of the counter and stood with his back to the
terminal's main concourse. Then he glanced up in the left-hand corner. A convex
mirror bulged there like a hypertensive eye. He could see all of his followers
in it, but none was close enough to see the food and cup of soda, and that was
good, because Eddie didn't have the slightest idea what was going to happen to
it.
Put the astin on the
meat-things. Then hold everything in your hands.
Aspirin.
Good. Call It
flutergork if you want, pr... Eddie. Just do it.
He took the Anacin out
of the stapled bag he had stuffed in his pocket, almost put it down on one of
the hot-dogs, and suddenly realized that Roland would have problems just getting
what Eddie thought of as the poison-proofing—off the tin, let alone opening it.
He did it himself,
shook three of the pills onto one of the napkins, debated, then added three
more.
Three now, three
later, he said. If there is a later.
All right. Thank you.
Now what?
Hold all of it.
Eddie had glanced into
the convex mirror again. Two of the agents were strolling casually toward the
snack bar, maybe not liking the way Eddie's back was turned, maybe smelling a
little prestidigitation in progress and wanting a closer look. If something was
going to happen, it better happen quick.
He put his hands
around everything, feeling the heat of the dogs in their soft white rolls, the
chill of the Pepsi. In that moment he looked like a guy getting ready to carry
a snack back to his kids . . . and then the stuff started to melt.
He stared down, eyes
widening, widening, until it felt to him that they must soon fall out and
dangle by their stalks.
He could see the
hotdogs through the rolls. He could see the Pepsi through the cup, the
ice-choked liquid curving to conform to a shape which could no longer be seen.
Then he could see the
red Formica counter through the foot-longs and the white wall through the
Pepsi. His hands slid toward each other, the resistance between them growing
less and less. . . and then they closed against each other, palm to palm. The
food. . . the napkins . . . the Pepsi Cola. . . the six Anacin ... all the
things which had been between his hands were gone.
Jesus jumped up and
played the fiddle, Eddie thought numbly. He flicked his eyes
up toward the convex mirror.
The doorway was gone.
. .just as Roland was gone from his mind.
Eat hearty, my friend,
Eddie thought . . . but was this weird alien presence
that called itself Roland his friend? That was far from proved, wasn't it? He
had saved Eddie's bacon, true enough, but that didn't mean he was a Boy Scout.
All the same, he liked
Roland. Feared him . . . but liked him as well.
Suspected that in time
he could love him, as he loved Henry.
Eat well, stranger, he
thought. Eat well, stay alive. . . and come back.
Close by were a few
mustard-stained napkins left by a previous customer. Eddie balled them up,
tossed them in the trash-barrel by the door on his way out, and chewed air as
if finishing a last bite of something. He was even able to manufacture a burp
as he approached the black guy on his way toward the signs pointing the way to
LUGGAGE and GROUND TRANSPORTATION.
"Couldn't find a
shirt you liked?" Eddie asked.
"I beg your
pardon?" the black guy turned from the American Airlines departures
monitor he was pretending to study.
"I thought maybe
you were looking for one that said PLEASE FEED ME, I AM A U.S. GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEE,"
Eddie said, and walked on.
As he headed down the
stairs he saw the purse-rooter hurriedly snap her purse shut and get to her
feet.
Oh boy, this is gonna
be like the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.
It had been one fuck
of an interesting day, and Eddie didn't think it was over yet.
5
When Roland saw the
lobster-things coming out of the waves again (their coming had nothing to do
with tide, then; it was the dark that brought them), he left Eddie Dean to move
himself before the creatures could find and eat him.
The pain he had
expected and was prepared for. He had lived with pain so long it was almost an
old friend. He was appalled, however, by the rapidity with which his fever had
increased and his strength decreased. If he had not been dying before, he most
assuredly was now. Was there something powerful enough in the prisoner's world
to keep that from happening? Perhaps. But if he didn't get some of it within
the next six or eight hours, he thought it wouldn't matter. If things went much
further, no medicine or magic in that world or any other that would make him
well again.
Walking was
impossible. He would have to crawl.
He was getting ready
to start when his eye fixed upon the twisted band of sticky stuff and the bags
of devil-powder. If he left the stuff here, the lobstrosities would almost
surely tear the bags open. The sea-breeze would scatter the powder to the four
winds. Which is where it belongs, the gunslinger thought grimly, but he
couldn't allow it. When the time came, Eddie Dean would be in a long tub of
trouble if he couldn't produce that powder. It was rarely possible to bluff men
of the sort he guessed this Balazar to be. He would want to see what he had
paid for, and until he saw it Eddie would have enough guns pointed at him to
equip a small army.
The gunslinger pulled
the twisted rope of glue-string over to him and slung it over his neck. Then he
began to work his way up the beach.
He had crawled twenty
yards—almost far enough to consider himself safe, he judged—when the horrible
(yet cosmically funny) funny realization that he was leaving the doorway
behind came to him. What in God's name was he going through this for?
He turned his head and
saw the doorway, not down on the beach, but three feet behind him. For a moment
Roland could only stare, and realize what he would have known already, if not
for the fever and the sound of the Inquisitors, drumming their ceaseless
questions at Eddie, Where did you, how did you, why did you, when did you (questions
that seemed to merge eerily with the questions of the scrabbling horrors that
came crawling and wriggling out of the waves: Dad-a-chock? Dad-a-chum?
Did-a-chick?), as mere delirium. Not so.
Now I take it with me
everywhere I go, he thought, just as he does. It comes
with us everywhere now, following like a curse you can never get rid of.
All of this felt so
true as to be unquestionable . . . and so did one other thing.
If the door between
them should close, it would be closed forever.
When that happens, Roland
thought grimly, he must be on this side. With me.
What a paragon of
virtue you are, gunslinger! the man in black
laughed. He seemed to have taken up permanent residence inside Roland's head. You
have killed the boy; that was the sacrifice that enabled you to catch me and, I
suppose, to create the door between worlds. Now you intend to draw your three,
one by one, and condemn all of them to something you would not have for
yourself: a lifetime in an alien world, where they may die as easily as animals
in a zoo set free in a wild place.
The Tower, Roland
thought wildly. Once I've gotten to the Tower and done whatever it is I'm
supposed to do there, accomplished whatever fundamental act of restoration or
redemption for which I was meant, then perhaps they—
But the shrieking
laughter of the man in black, the man who was dead but lived on as the
gunslinger's stained conscience, would not let him go on with the thought.
Neither, however,
could the thought of the treachery he contemplated turn him aside from his
course.
He managed another ten
yards, looked back, and saw that even the largest of the crawling monsters
would venture no further than twenty feet above the high-tide line. He had
already managed three times that distance.
It's well, then.
Nothing is well, the
man in black replied merrily, and you know it.
Shut up, the
gunslinger thought, and for a wonder, the voice actually did.
Roland pushed the bags
of devil-dust into the cleft between two rocks and covered them with handfuls
of sparse saw-grass. With that done he rested briefly, head thumping like a hot
bag of waters, skin alternately hot and cold, then rolled back through the
doorway into that other world, that other body, leaving the increasing deadly
infection behind for a little while.
6
The second time he
returned to himself, he entered a body so deeply asleep that he thought for a
moment it had entered a comatose state... a state of such lowered bodily
function that in moments he would feel his own consciousness start down a long
slide into darkness.
Instead, he forced his
body toward wakefulness, punched and pummelled it out of the dark cave into
which it had crawled. He made his heart speed up, made his nerves re-accept the
pain that sizzled through his skin and woke his flesh to groaning reality.
It was night now. The
stars were out. The popkin-things Eddie had bought him were small bits of
warmth in the chill.
He didn't feel like
eating them, but eat them he would. First, though . . .
He looked at the white
pills in his hand. Astin, Eddie called it. No, that wasn't quite right,
but Roland couldn't pronounce the word as the prisoner had said it. Medicine
was what it came down to. Medicine from that other world.
If
anything from your world is going to do for me, Prisoner, Roland
thought grimly, I think it's more apt to be your potions than your popkins.
Still, he would have
to try it. Not the stuff he really needed—or so Eddie believed—but something
which might reduce his fever.
Three now, three
later. If there is a later.
He put three of the
pills in his mouth, then pushed the cover—some strange white stuff that was
neither paper nor glass but which seemed a bit like both—off the paper cup which
held the drink, and washed them down.
The first swallow
amazed him so completely that for a moment he only lay there, propped against a
rock, his eyes so wide and still and full of reflected starlight that he
would surely have been taken for dead
already by anyone who happened to pass by. Then he drank greedily, holding the
cup in both hands, the rotted, pulsing hurt in the stumps of his fingers barely
noticed in his total absorption with the drink.
Sweet! Gods, such
sweetness! Such sweetness! Such—
One of the small flat
icecubes in the drink caught in his throat. He coughed, pounded his chest, and
choked it out. Now there was a new pain in his head: the silvery pain that
comes with drinking something too cold too fast.
He lay still, feeling
his heart pumping like a runaway engine, feeling fresh energy surge into his
body so fast he felt as if he might actually explode. Without thinking of what
he was doing, he tore another piece from his shirt—soon it would be no more
than a rag hanging around his neck—and laid it across one leg. When the drink
was gone he would pour the ice into the rag and make a pack for his wounded
hand. But his mind was elsewhere.
Sweet! it
cried out again and again, trying to get the sense of it, or to convince itself
there was sense in it, much as Eddie had tried to convince himself of
the other as an actual being and not some mental convulsion that was
only another part of himself trying to trick him. Sweet! Sweet! Sweet!
The dark drink was
laced with sugar, even more than Marten—who had been a great glutton behind his
grave ascetic's exterior—had put in his coffee in mornings and at 'Downers.
Sugar . . . white . .
. powder . . .
The gunslinger's eyes
wandered to the bags, barely visible under the grass he had tossed over them,
and wondered briefly if the stuff in this drink and the stuff in the bags might
be one and the same. He knew that Eddie had understood him perfectly over
here, where they were two separate physical creatures; he suspected that if he
had crossed bodily to Eddie's world (and he understood instinctively it could
be done . . . although if the door should shut while he was there, he would
be there forever, as Eddie would be here forever if their positions were
reversed), he would have understood the language just as perfectly. He knew
from being in Eddie's mind that the languages of the two worlds were similar to
begin with. Similar, but not the same. Here a sandwich was a popkin. There to
rustle was finding something to eat. So... was it not possible that the drug
Eddie called cocaine was, in the gunslinger's world, called sugar?
Reconsideration made
it seem unlikely. Eddie had bought this drink openly, knowing that he was being
watched by people who served the Priests of Customs. Further, Roland sensed he
had paid comparatively little for it. Less, even, than for the popkins of meat.
No, sugar was not cocaine, but Roland could not understand why anyone would
want cocaine or any other illegal drug, for that matter, in a world where such
a powerful one as sugar was so plentiful and cheap.
He looked at the meat
popkins again, felt the first stirrings of hunger . . . and realized with
amazement and confused thankfulness that he felt better.
The drink? Was that
it? The sugar in the drink?
That might be part of
it—but a small part. Sugar could revive one's strength for awhile when it was
flagging; this was something he had known since he was a child. But sugar could
not dull pain or damp the fever-fire in your body when some infection had
turned it into a furnace. All the same, that was exactly what had happened to
him . . . was still happening.
The convulsive
shuddering had stopped. The sweat was drying on his brow. The fishhooks which
had lined his throat seemed to be disappearing. Incredible as it was, it was
also an inarguable fact, not just imagination or wishful thinking (in point of
fact, the gunslinger had not been capable of such frivolity as the latter in
unknown and unknowable decades). His missing fingers and toes still throbbed
and roared, but he believed even these pains to be muted.
Roland put his head
back, closed his eyes and thanked God.
God and Eddie Dean.
Don't make the mistake
of putting your heart near his hand, Roland, a voice from
the deeper ranges of his mind spoke—this was not the nervous, tittery-bitchy
voice of the man in black or the rough one of Cort; to the gunslinger it
sounded like his father. You know that what he's done for you he has done
out of his own personal need, just as you know that those men—Inquisitors
though they may be—are partly or completely right about him. He is a weak
vessel, and the reason they took him was neither false nor base. There is steel
in him, I dispute it not. But there is weakness as well. He is like Hax, the
cook. Hax poisoned reluctantly . . . but reluctance has never stilled the
screams of the dying as their intestines rupture. And there is yet another
reason to beware . . .
But Roland needed no
voice to tell him what that other reason was. He had seen that in Jake's eyes
when the boy finally began to understand his purpose.
Don't make the mistake
of putting your heart near his hand.
Good advice. You did
yourself ill to feel well of those to whom ill must eventually be done.
Remember your duty,
Roland.
"I've never
forgotten it," he husked as the stars shone pitilessly down and the waves
grated on the shore and the lobster monstrosities cried their idiot questions.
"I'm damned for my duty. And why should the damned turn aside?"
He began to eat the
meat popkins which Eddie called "dogs."
Roland didn't much
care for the idea of eating dog, and these things tasted like gutter-leavings
compared to the tooter-fish, but after that marvellous drink, did he have any
right to complain? He thought not. Besides, it was late in the game to worry
overmuch about such niceties.
He ate everything and
then returned to the place where now Eddie was, in some magical vehicle that
rushed along a metal road filled with other such vehicles . . . dozens, maybe
hundreds, and not a horse pulling a single one.
7
Eddie stood ready as
the pizza truck pulled up; Roland stood even more ready inside of him.
Just another version
of Diana's Dream, Roland thought. What was in the box?
The golden bowl or the biter-snake? And just as she turns the key and puts her
hands upon the lid she hears her mother calling "Wake up, Diana! It's time
to milk!"
Okay, Eddie
thought. Which is it gonna be? The lady or the tiger?
A man with a pale,
pimply face and big buck teeth looked out of the pizza truck's passenger
window. It was a face Eddie knew.
"Hi, Col,"
Eddie said without much enthusiasm. Beyond Col Vincent, sitting behind the
wheel, was Old Double-Ugly, which was what Henry called Jack Andolini.
But Henry never called
him that to his face, Eddie thought. No, of course not. Calling
Jack something like that to his face would be a wonderful way to get yourself
killed. He was a huge man with a bulging caveman's forehead and a prothagonous
jaw to match. He was related to Enrico Balazar by marriage ... a niece, a
cousin, some fucking thing. His gigantic hands clung to the wheel of the
delivery truck like the hands of a monkey clinging to a branch. Coarse sprouts
of hair grew from his ears. Eddie could only see one of those ears now because
Jack Andolini remained in profile, never looking around.
Old Double-Ugly. But
not even Henry (who, Eddie had to admit, was not always the most perceptive guy
in the world) had ever made the mistake of calling him Old Double-Stupid. Colin
Vincent was no more than a glorified gofer. Jack, however, had enough smarts
behind that Neanderthal brow to be Balazar's number one lieutenant. Eddie
didn't like the fact that Balazar had sent a man of such importance. He didn't
like it at all.
"Hi, Eddie,"
Col said. "Heard you had some trouble."
"Nothing I
couldn't handle," Eddie said. He realized he was scratching first one arm
then the other, one of the typical junkie moves he had tried so hard to keep
away from while they had him in custody. He made himself stop. But Col was
smiling, and Eddie felt an urge to slam a fist all the way through that smile
and out the other side. He might have done it, too. . . except for Jack. Jack
was still staring straight ahead, a man who seemed to be thinking his own
rudimentary thoughts as he observed the world in the simple primary colors and
elementary motions which were all a man of such intellect (or so you'd think,
looking at him) could perceive. Yet Eddie thought Jack saw more in a single day
than Col Vincent would in his whole life.
"Well,
good," Col said. "That's good."
Silence. Col looked at
Eddie, smiling, waiting for Eddie to start the Junkie Shuffle again,
scratching, shifting from foot to foot like a kid who needs to go to the
bathroom, waiting mostly for Eddie to ask what was up, and by the way, did they
just happen to have any stuff on them?
Eddie only looked back
at him, not scratching now, not moving at all.
A faint breeze blew a
Ring-Ding wrapper across the parking lot. The scratchy sound of its skittering
passage and the wheezy thump of the pizza truck's loose valves were the only
sounds.
Col's knowing grin
began to falter.
"Hop in,
Eddie," Jack said without looking around. "Let's take a ride."
"Where?"
Eddie asked, knowing.
"Balazar's."
Jack didn't look around. He flexed his hands on the wheel once. A large ring,
solid gold except for the onyx stone which bulged from it like the eye of a
giant insect, glittered on the third finger of his right as he did it. "He
wants to know about his goods."
"I have his
goods. They're safe."
"Fine. Then
nobody has anything to worry about," Jack Andolini said, and did not look
around.
"I think I want
to go upstairs first," Eddie said. "I want to change my clothes, talk
to Henry—"
"And get fixed
up, don't forget that," Col said, and grinned his big yellow-toothed grin.
"Except you got nothing to fix with, little chum."
Dad-a-chum? the
gunslinger thought in Eddie's mind, and both of them shuddered a little.
Col observed the
shudder and his smile widened. Oh, here it is after all, that smile
said. The good old Junkie Shuffle. Had me worried there for a minute, Eddie.
The teeth revealed by the smile's expansion were not an improvement on
those previously seen.
"Why's
that?"
"Mr. Balazar
thought it would be better to make sure you guys had a clean
place," Jack said without looking around. He went on observing the world
an observer would have believed it impossible for such a man to observe.
"In case anyone showed up."
"People with a
Federal search warrant, for instance," Col said. His face hung and leered.
Now Eddie could feel Roland also wanting to drive a fist through the rotted
teeth that made that grin so reprehensible, so somehow irredeemable. The
unanimity of feeling cheered him up a little. "He sent in a cleaning
service to wash the walls and vacuum the carpets and he ain't going to charge
you a red cent for it, Eddie!"
Now you'll ask what
I've got, Col's grin said. Oh yeah, now you'll ask, Eddie my boy.
Because you may not love the candy-man, but you do love the candy, don't you?
And now that you know Balazar's made sure your own private stash is gone—
A sudden thought, both
ugly and frightening, flashed through his mind. If the stash was gone—
"Where's
Henry?" he said suddenly, so harshly that Col drew back, surprised.
Jack Andolini finally
turned his head. He did so slowly, as if it was an act he performed only
rarely, and at great personal cost. You almost expected to hear old oilless
hinges creaking inside the thickness of his neck.
"Safe," he
said, and then turned his head back to its original position again, just as
slowly.
Eddie stood beside the
pizza truck, fighting the panic trying to rise in his mind and drown coherent
thought. Suddenly the need to fix, which he had been holding at bay pretty
well, was overpowering. He had to fix. With a fix he could think, get
himself under control—
Quit it! Roland
roared inside his head, so loud Eddie winced (and Col, mistaking Eddie's
grimace of pain and surprise for another little step in the Junkie Shuffle,
began to grin again). Quit it! I'll be all the goddamned control you need!
You don't understand!
He's my brother! He's my fucking brother! Balazar's
got my brother!
You speak as if it was
a word I'd never heard before. Do you fear for him?
Yes! Christ, yes!
Then do what they
expect. Cry. Pule and beg. Ask for this fix of yours. I'm sure they expect you
to, and I'm sure they have it. Do all those things, make them sure of you, and you
can be sure all your fears will be justified.
I don't understand
what you m—
I mean if you show a
yellow gut, you will go far toward getting your precious brother killed. Is
that what you want?
All right. I'll be
cool. It may not sound that way, but I'll be cool.
Is that what you call
it? All right, then. Yes. Be cool.
"This isn't the
way the deal was supposed to go down," Eddie said, speaking past Col and
directly at Jack Andolini's tufted ear. "This isn't why I took care of
Balazar's goods and hung onto my lip while some other guy would have been
puking out five names for every year off on the plea-bargain."
"Balazar thought
your brother would be safer with him," Jack said, not looking around.
"He took him into protective custody."
"Well good,"
Eddie said. "You thank him for me, and you tell him that I'm back, his
goods are safe, and I can take care of Henry just like Henry always took care
of me. You tell him I'll have a six-pack on ice and when Henry walks in the
place we're going to split it and then we'll get in our car and come on into
town and do the deal like it was supposed to be done. Like we talked about
it."
"Balazar wants to
see you, Eddie," Jack said. His voice was implacable, immovable. His head
did not turn. "Get in the truck."
"Stick it where
the sun doesn't shine, motherfucker," Eddie said, and started for the
doors to his building.
8
It was a short
distance but he had gotten barely halfway when Andolini's hand clamped on his
upper arm with the paralyzing force of a vise-grip. His breath as hot as a
bull's on the back of Eddie's neck. He did all this in the time you would have
thought, looking at him, it would have taken his brain to convince his hand to
pull the door-handle up.
Eddie turned around.
Be cool, Eddie, Roland
whispered.
Cool, Eddie
responded.
"I could kill you
for that," Andolini said. "No one tells me stick it up my ass, especially
no shitass little junkie like you."
"Kill shit!"
Eddie screamed at him—but it was a calculated scream. A cool
scream, if you could dig that. They stood there, dark figures in the golden
horizontal light of late spring sundown in the wasteland of housing
developments that is the Bronx's Co-Op City, and people heard the scream, and
people heard the word kill, and if their radios were on they turned them
up and if their radios were off they turned them on and then turned them
up because it was better that way, safer.
"Rico Balazar
broke his word! I stood up for him and he didn't stand up for me! So I tell you
to stick it up your fuckin ass, I tell him to stick it up
his fuckin ass, I tell anybody I want to stick it up his fuckin ass!"
Andolini looked at
him. His eyes were so brown the color seemed to have leaked into his corneas,
turning them the yellow of old parchment.
"I tell
President Reagan to stick it up his ass if he breaks his word to me, and fuck
his fuckin rectal palp or whatever it is!"
The words died away in
echoes on brick and concrete. A single child, his skin very black against his
white basketball shorts and high-topped sneakers, stood in the playground
across the street, watching them, a basketball held loosely against his side in
the crook of his elbow.
"You done?"
Andolini asked when the last of the echoes were gone.
"Yes," Eddie
said in a completely normal tone of voice.
"Okay,"
Andolini said. He spread his anthropoid fingers and smiled . . . and when he
smiled, two things happened simultaneously: the first was that you saw a charm
that was so surprising it had a way of leaving people defenseless; the second
was that you saw how bright he really was. How dangerously bright. "Now
can we start over?"
Eddie brushed his
hands through his hair, crossed his arms briefly so he could scratch both arms
at the same time, and said, "I think we better, because this is going
nowhere."
"Okay,"
Andolini said. "No one has said nothing, and no one has ranked out
nobody.'' And without turning his head or breaking the rhythm of his speech he
added, "Get back in the truck, dumb wit."
Col Vincent, who had
climbed cautiously out of the delivery truck through the door Andolini had left
open retreated so fast he thumped his head. He slid across the seat and slouched
in his former place, rubbing it and sulking.
"You gotta
understand the deal changed when the Customs people put the arm on you,"
Andolini said reasonably. "Balazar is a big man. He has interests to
protect. People to protect. One of those people, it just so happens, is
your brother Henry. You think that's bullshit? If you do, you better think
about the way Henry is now."
"Henry's
fine," Eddie said, but he knew better and he couldn't keep the knowing out
of his voice. He heard it and knew Jack Andolini heard it, too. These days
Henry was always on the nod, it seemed like. There were holes in his shirts
from cigarette burns. He had cut the shit out of his hand using the electric
can-opener on a can of Calo for Potzie, their cat. Eddie didn't know how you
cut yourself with an electric can-opener, but Henry had managed it. Sometimes
the kitchen table would be powdery with Henry's leavings, or Eddie would find
blackened curls of char in the bathroom sink.
Henry, he
would say, Henry, you gotta take care of this, this is getting out of hand,
you're a bust walking around and waiting to happen.
Yeah, okay, little
brother, Henry would respond, zero perspiration, I got
it all under control, but sometimes, looking at Henry's ashy face and
burned out eyes, Eddie knew Henry was never going to have anything under
control again.
What he wanted to
say to Henry and couldn't had nothing to do with Henry getting busted or
getting them both busted. What he wanted to say was Henry, it's like
you're looking for a room to die in. That's how it looks to me, and I want you
to fucking quit it. Because if you die, what did I live for?
"Henry isn't fine,"
Jack Andolini said. "He needs someone to watch out for
him. He needs—what's that song say? A bridge over troubled waters. That's what
Henry needs. A bridge over troubled waters. If Roche is being
that bridge."
If Roche is a
bridge to hell, Eddie thought. Out loud he said, "That's where Henry
is? At Balazar's place?"
"Yes."
"I give him his
goods, he gives me Henry?"
"And your goods,"
Andolini said, "don't forget that."
"The deal goes
back to normal, in other words."
"Right."
"Now tell me you
think that's really gonna happen. Come on, Jack. Tell me. I wanna see if you
can do it with a straight face. And if you can do it with a straight
face, I wanna see how much your nose grows."
"I don't
understand you, Eddie."
"Sure you do.
Balazar thinks I've got his goods? If he thinks that, he must be stupid,
and I know he's not stupid."
"I don't know
what he thinks," Andolini said serenely. "It's not my job to know
what he thinks. He knows you had his goods when you left the Islands, he
knows Customs grabbed you and then let you go, he knows you're here and not on
your way to Riker's, he knows his goods have to be somewhere."
"And he knows Customs
is still all over me like a wetsuit on a skin-diver, because you know
it, and you sent him some kind of coded message on the truck's radio. Something
like 'Double cheese, hold the anchovies,' right, Jack?"
Jack Andolini said
nothing and looked serene.
"Only you were
just telling him something he already knew. Like connecting the dots in a
picture you can already see what it is."
Andolini stood in the
golden sunset light that was slowly turning furnace orange and continued to
look serene and continued to say nothing at all.
"He thinks they
turned me. He thinks they're running me. He thinks I might be stupid enough to
run. I don't exactly blame him. I mean, why not? A smackhead will do anything.
You want to check, see if I'm wearing a wire?"
"I know you're
not," Andolini said. "I got something in the
van. It's like a fuzz-buster, only it picks up short-range radio transmissions.
And for what it's worth, I don't think you're running for the Feds."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. So do we
get in the van and go into the city or what?"
"Do I have a
choice?"
No, Roland
said inside his head.
"No,"
Andolini said.
Eddie went back to the
van. The kid with the basketball was still standing across the street, his
shadow now so long it was a gantry.
"Get out of here,
kid," Eddie said. "You were never here, you never saw nothing or no
one. Fuck off."
The kid ran.
Col was grinning at
him.
"Push over,
champ," Eddie said.
"I think you
oughtta sit in the middle, Eddie."
"Push over,"
Eddie said again. Col looked at him, then looked at Andolini, who did not look
at him but only pulled the driver's door closed and looked serenely straight
ahead like Buddha on his day off, leaving them to work the seating arrangements
out for themselves. Col glanced back at Eddie's face and decided to push over.
They headed into New
York—and although the gunslinger (who could only stare wonderingly at spires
even greater and more graceful, bridges that spanned a wide river like steel
cobwebs, and rotored air-carriages that hovered like strange man-made insects)
did not know it, the place they were headed for was the Tower.
9
Like Andolini, Enrico
Balazar did not think Eddie Dean was running for the Feds; like Andolini,
Balazar knew it.
The bar was empty. The
sign on the door read CLOSED TONITE ONLY. Balazar sat in his office, waiting
for Andolini and Col Vincent to arrive with the Dean kid. His two personal
body-guards, Claudio Andolini, Jack's brother, and 'Cimi Dretto,
were with him. They sat on the sofa to the left of Balazar's large desk,
watching, fascinated, as the edifice Balazar was building grew. The door was
open. Beyond the door was a short hallway. To the right it led to the back of
the bar and the little kitchen beyond, where a few simple pasta dishes were
prepared. To the left was the accountant's office and the storage room. In the
accountant's office three more of Balazar's "gentlemen"—this was how
they were known—were playing Trivial Pursuit with Henry Dean.
"Okay,"
George Biondi was saying, "here's an easy one, Henry. Henry? You there,
Henry? Earth to Henry, Earth people need you. Come in, Henry. I say again:
come in, H—"
"I'm here, I'm
here," Henry said. His voice was the slurry, muddy voice of a man who is
still asleep telling his wife he's awake so she'll leave him alone for another
five minutes.
"Okay. The
category is Arts and Entertainment. The question is ... Henry? Don't you fuckin
nod off on me, asshole!"
"I'm not!"
Henry cried back querulously.
"Okay. The
question is, 'What enormously popular novel by William Peter Blatty, set in the
posh Washington D.C. suburb of Georgetown, concerned the demonic possession of
a young girl?' "
"Johnny
Cash," Henry replied.
"Jesus
Christ!" Tricks Postino yelled. "That's what you say to every thin!
Johnny Cash, that's what you say to fuckin everythin!"
"Johnny Cash is
everything," Henry replied gravely, and there was a moment of silence
palpable in its considering surprise. . . then a gravelly burst of laughter not
just from the men in the room with Henry but the two other
"gentlemen" sitting in the storage room.
"You want me to
shut the door, Mr. Balazar?" 'Cimi asked quietly.
"No, that's
fine," Balazar said. He was second-generation Sicilian, but there was no
trace of accent in his speech, nor was it the speech of a man whose only
education had been in the streets. Unlike many of his contemporaries in the
business, he had finished high school. Had in fact done more: for two years he
had gone to business school—NYU. His voice, like his business methods, was
quiet and cultured and American, and this made his physical aspect as deceiving
as Jack Andolini's. People hearing his clear, unaccented American voice for the
first time almost always looked dazed, as if hearing a particularly good piece
of ventriloquism. He looked like a farmer or innkeeper or small-time mafioso
who had been successful more by virtue of being at the right place at the
right time than because of any brains. He looked like what the wiseguys of a
previous generation had called a "Mustache Pete." He was a fat man
who dressed like a peasant. This evening he wore a plain white cotton shirt
open at the throat (there were spreading sweat-stains beneath the arms) and
plain gray twill pants. On his fat sockless feet were brown loafers, so old they
were more like slippers than shoes. Blue and purple varicose veins squirmed on
his ankles.
'Cimi and Claudio
watched him, fascinated.
In the old days they
had called him Roche—The Rock. Some of the old-timers still did. Always
in the right-hand top drawer of his desk, where other businessmen might keep
pads, pens, paper-clips, things of that sort, Enrico Balazar kept three decks
of cards. He did not play games with them, however.
He built with them.
He would take two cards
and lean them against each other, making an A without the horizontal stroke.
Next to it he would make another A-shape. Over the top of the two he would lay
a single card, making a roof. He would make A after A, overlaying each, until
his desk supported a house of cards. You bent over and looked in, you saw
something that looked like a hive of triangles. 'Cimi had seen these houses
fall over hundreds of times (Claudio had also seen it happen from time to time,
but not so frequently, because he was thirty years younger than 'Cimi, who
expected to soon retire with his bitch of a wife to a farm they owned in
northern New Jersey, where he would devote all his time to his garden. . . and
to outliving the bitch he had married; not his mother-in-law, he had long since
given up any wistful notion he might once have had of eating fettucini at
the wake of La Monstra, La Monstra was eternal, but for outliving the
bitch there was at least some hope; his father had had a saying which, when
translated, meant something like "God pisses down the back of your neck
every day but only drowns you once," and while 'Cimi wasn't completely
sure he thought it meant God was a pretty good guy after all, and so he could
hope to outlive the one if not the other), but had only seen Balazar put out of
temper by such a fall on a single occasion. Mostly it was something errant that
did it—someone closing a door hard in another room, or a drunk stumbling
against a wall; there had been times when 'Cimi saw an edifice Mr. Balazar
(whom he still called Da Boss, like a character in a Chester Gould comic
strip) had spent hours building fall down because the bass on the juke was too
loud. Other times these airy constructs fell down for no perceptible reason at
all. Once—this was a story he had told at least five thousand times, and one of
which every person he knew (with the exception of himself) had tired—Da Boss
had looked up at him from the ruins and said: "You see this 'Cimi? For
every mother who ever cursed God for her child dead in the road, for every
father who ever cursed the man who sent him | away from the factory with no
job, for every child who was ever born to pain and asked why, this is the
answer. Our lives are like these things I build. Sometimes they fall down for a
I reason, sometimes they fall down for no reason at all."
Carlocimi Dretto
thought this the most profound statement of the human condition he had ever
heard.
That one time Balazar
had been put out of temper by the collapse of one of his structures had been
twelve, maybe fourteen years ago. There was a guy who came in to see him about
booze. A guy with no class, no manners. A guy who smelled like he took a bath
once a year whether he needed it or not. A mick, in other words. And of course
it was booze. With micks it was always booze, never dope. And this mick, he
thought what was on Da Boss's desk was a joke. "Make a wish!"
he yelled after Da Boss had explained to him, in the way one gentleman
explains to another, why it was impossible for them to do business. And then the
mick, one of those guys with curly red hair and a complexion so white he looked
like he had TB or something, one of those guys whose names started with O and
then had that little curly mark between the O and the real name, had blown on
Da Boss's desk, like a nino blowing out the candles on a birthday cake,
and cards flew everywhere around Balazar's head, and Balazar had opened the left
top drawer in his desk, the drawer where other businessmen might keep their
personal stationery or their private memos or something like that, and he had
brought out a .45, and he had shot the Mick in the head, and Balazar's
expression never changed, and after 'Cimi and a guy named Truman Alexander who
had died of a heart attack four years ago had buried the Mick under a chickenhouse
somewhere outside of Sedonville, Connecticut, Balazar had said to 'Cimi,
"It's up to men to build things, paisan. It's up to God to blow
them down. You agree?"
"Yes, Mr.
Balazar," 'Cimi had said. He did agree.
Balazar had nodded,
pleased. "You did like I said? You put him someplace where chickens or
ducks or something like that could shit on him?"
"Yes."
"That's very
good," Balazar said calmly, and took a fresh deck of cards from the right
top drawer of his desk.
One level was not
enough for Balazar, Roche. Upon the roof of the first level he would
build a second, only not quite so wide; on top of the second a third; on top of
the third a fourth. He would go on, but after the fourth level he would have to
stand to do so. You no longer had to bend much to look in, and when you did
what you saw wasn't rows of triangle shapes but a fragile, bewildering, and
impossibly lovely hall of diamond-shapes. You looked in too long, you felt
dizzy. Once 'Cimi had gone in the Mirror Maze at Coney and he had felt like
that. He had never gone in again.
'Cimi said (he
believed no one believed him; the truth was no one cared one way or the other)
he had once seen Balazar build something which was no longer a house of cards
but a tower of cards, one which stood nine levels high before it
collapsed. That no one gave a shit about this was something 'Cimi didn't know
because everyone he told affected amazement because he was close to Da
Boss. But they would have been amazed if he had had the words to describe
it—how delicate it had been, how it reached almost three quarters of the way
from the top of the desk to the ceiling, a lacy construct of jacks and deuces
and kings and tens and Big Akers, a red and black configuration of paper
diamonds standing in defiance of a world spinning through a universe of
incoherent motions and forces; a tower that seemed to 'Cimi's amazed eyes to be
a ringing denial of all the unfair paradoxes of life.
If he had known how,
he would have said: I looked at what he built, and to me it explained the
stars.
10
Balazar knew how
everything would have to be.
The Feds had smelled
Eddie—maybe he had been stupid to send Eddie in the first place, maybe his
instincts were failing him, but Eddie had seemed somehow so right, so perfect.
His uncle, the first man he had worked for in the business, said there were
exceptions to every rule but one: Never trust a junkie. Balazar had said
nothing—it was not the place of a boy of fifteen to speak, even if only to agree—but
privately had thought the only rule to which there was no exception was that
there were some rules for which that was not true.
But if Tio Verone were
alive today, Balazar thought, he would laugh at you and
say look, Rico, you always were too smart for your own good, you knew
the rules, you kept your mouth shut when it was respectful to keep it shut, but
you always had that snot look in your eyes. You always knew too much about how
smart you were, and so you finally fell into the pit of your own pride, just
like I always knew you would.
He made an A shape and
overlaid it.
They had taken Eddie
and held him awhile and then let him go.
Balazar had grabbed
Eddie's brother and the stash they shared. That would be enough to bring him .
. . and he wanted Eddie.
He wanted Eddie
because it had only been two hours, and two hours was wrong.
They had questioned
him at Kennedy, not at 43rd Street, and that was wrong, too. That meant Eddie
had succeeded in ditching most or all of the coke.
Or had he?
He thought. He
wondered.
Eddie had walked out
of Kennedy two hours after they took him off the plane. That was too short a
time for them to have sweated it out of him and too long for them to have
decided he was clean, that some stew had made a rash mistake.
He thought. He
wondered.
Eddie's brother was a
zombie, but Eddie was still smart, Eddie was still tough. He wouldn't have
turned in just two hours . . . unless it was his brother. Something about his
brother.
But still, how come no
43rd Street? How come no Customs van, the ones that looked like Post Office
trucks except for the wire grilles on the back windows? Because Eddie really had
done something with the goods? Ditched them? Hidden them?
Impossible to hide
goods on an airplane.
Impossible to ditch
them.
Of course it was also
impossible to escape from certain prisons, rob certain banks, beat certain
raps. But people did. Harry Houdini had escaped from strait-jackets, locked
trunks, fucking bank vaults. But Eddie Dean was no Houdini.
Was he?
He could have had
Henry killed in the apartment, could have had Eddie cut down on the L.I.E. or,
better yet, also in the apartment, where it would look to the cops like
a couple of junkies who got desperate enough to forget they were brothers and
killed each other. But it would leave too many questions unanswered.
He would get the
answers here, prepare for the future or merely satisfy his curiosity, depending
on what the answers were, and then kill both of them.
A few more answers,
two less junkies. Some gain and no great loss.
In the other room, the
game had gotten around to Henry again. "Okay, Henry," George Biondi
said. "Be careful, because this one is tricky. The category is Geography.
The question is, 'What is the only continent where kangaroos are a native form
of life?' "
A hushed pause.
"Johnny
Cash," Henry said, and this was followed by a bull-throated roar of
laughter.
The walls shook.
'Cimi tensed, waiting
for Balazar's house of cards (which would become a tower only if God, or the
blind forces that ran the universe in His name, willed it), to fall down.
The cards trembled a
bit. If one fell, all would fall.
None did.
Balazar looked up and
smiled at 'Cimi. "Piasan," he said. "II Dio est bono;
il Dio est malo; temps est poco-poco; tu est une grande peeparollo."
'Cimi smiled.
"Si, senor," he said. "lo grande peeparollo; lo va
fanculo por tu."
"None va fanculo,
catzarro," Balazar said. "Eddie Dean va
fanculo." He smiled gently, and began on the second level of his tower
of cards.
11
When the van pulled to
the curb near Balazar's place, Col Vincent happened to be looking at Eddie. He
saw something impossible. He tried to speak and found himself unable. His
tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth and all he could get out was a
muffled grunt.
He saw Eddie's eyes
change from brown to blue.
12
This time Roland made
no conscious decision to come forward. He simply leaped without
thinking, a movement as involuntary as rolling out of a chair and going for his
guns when someone burst into a room.
The Tower! he
thought fiercely. It's the Tower, my God, the Tower is in the sky, the
Tower! I see the Tower in the sky, drawn in lines of red fire! Cuthbert! Alan!
Desmond! The Tower! The T—
But this time he felt
Eddie struggling—not against him, but trying to talk to him, trying desperately
to explain something to him.
The gunslinger
retreated, listening—listening desperately, as above a beach some unknown
distance away in space and time, his mindless body twitched and trembled like
the body of a man experiencing a dream of highest ecstasy or deepest horror.
13
Sign! Eddie
was screaming into his own head . . . and into the head of that other.
It's a sign, just a
neon sign, I don't know what tower it is you're thinking about but this is just
a bar, Balazar's place, The Leaning Tower, he named it that after the one in
Pisa! It's just a sign that's supposed to look like the fucking Leaning Tower
of Pisa! Let up! Let up! You want to get us killed before we have a chance to
go at them?
Pitsa? the
gunslinger replied doubtfully, and looked again.
A sign. Yes, all
right, he could see now: it was not the Tower, but a Signpost. It leaned to one
side, and there were many scalloped curves, and it was a marvel, but that was
all. He could see now that the sign was a thing made of tubes, tubes which had
somehow been filled with glowing red swamp-fire. In some places there seemed to
be less of it than others; in those places the lines of fire pulsed and buzzed.
He now saw letters
below the tower which had been made of shaped tubes; most of them were Great
Letters. TOWER he could read, and yes, LEANING. LEANING TOWER. The first word
was three letters, the first T, the last E, the middle one which he had never
seen.
Tre? he
asked Eddie.
THE. It doesn't
matter. Do you see it's just a sign? That's what matters!
I
see, the gunslinger answered, wondering if the prisoner really believed
what he was saying or was only saying it to keep the situation from spilling
over as the tower depicted in those lines of fire seemed about to do, wondering
if Eddie believed any sign could be a trivial thing.
Then ease off! Do you
hear me? Ease off!
Be cool? Roland
asked, and both felt Roland smile a little in Eddie's mind.
Be cool, right. Let me
handle things.
Yes. All right. He
would let Eddie handle things.
For awhile.
14
Col Vincent finally
managed to get his tongue off the roof of his mouth. "Jack." His
voice was as thick as shag carpet.
Andolini turned off
the motor and looked at him, irritated.
"His eyes."
"What about his
eyes?"
"Yeah, what about
my eyes?" Eddie asked.
Col looked at him.
The sun had gone down,
leaving nothing in the air but the day's ashes, but there was light enough for
Col to see that Eddie's eyes were brown again.
If they had ever been
anything else.
You saw it, part
of his mind insisted, but had he? Col was twenty-four, and for the last
twenty-one of those years no one had really believed him trustworthy. Useful
sometimes. Obedient almost always... if kept on a short leash. Trustworthy?
No. Col had eventually come to believe it himself.
"Nothing,"
he muttered.
"Then let's
go," Andolini said.
They got out of the
pizza van. With Andolini on their left and Vincent on their right, Eddie and
the gunslinger walked into The Leaning Tower.
CHAPTER
5
SHOWDOWN
AND
SHOOT-OUT
1
In a blues tune from
the twenties Billie Holiday, who would one day discover the truth for herself,
sang: "Doctor tole me daughter you got to quit it fast/Because one more
rocket gonna be your last." Henry Dean's last rocket went up just five
minutes before the van pulled up in front of The Leaning Tower and his brother
was herded inside.
Because he was on
Henry's right, George Biondi—known to his friends as "Big George" and
to his enemies as "Big Nose"—asked Henry's questions. Now, as Henry sat
nodding and blinking owlishly over the board, Tricks Postino put the die in a
hand which had already gone the dusty color that results in the extremities
after long-term heroin addiction, the dusty color which is the precursor of
gangrene.
"Your turn, Henry,"
Tricks said, and Henry let the die fall from his hand.
When he went on
staring into space and showed no intention of moving his game piece, Jimmy
Haspio moved it for him. "Look at this, Henry," he said. "You
got a chance to score a piece of the pie."
"Reese's
Pieces," Henry said dreamily, and then looked around, as if awakening.
"Where's Eddie?"
"He'll be here
pretty soon," Tricks soothed him. "Just play the game."
"How about a
fix?"
"Play the game,
Henry."
"Okay, okay, stop
leaning on me."
"Don't lean on
him," Kevin Blake said to Jimmy.
"Okay, I
won't," Jimmy said.
"You ready?"
George Biondi said, and gave the others an enormous wink as Henry's chin
floated down to his breastbone and then slowly rose once more—it was like
watching a soaked log not quite ready to give in and sink for good.
"Yeah,"
Henry said. "Bring it on."
"Bring it
on!" Jimmy Haspio cried happily.
"You bring that
fucker!" Tricks agreed, and they all roared with laughter (in the other
room Balazar's edifice, now three levels high, trembled again, but did not
fall).
"Okay, listen
close," George said, and winked again. Although Henry was on a Sports
category, George announced the category was Arts and Entertainment. "What
popular country and western singer had hits with 'A Boy Named Sue,' 'Folsom
Prison Blues,' and numerous other shitkicking songs?"
Kevin Blake, who
actually could add seven and nine (if you gave him poker chips to do it
with), howled with laughter, clutching his knees and nearly upsetting the
board.
Still pretending to scan
the card in his hand, George continued: "This popular singer is also known
as The Man in Black. His first name means the same as a place you go to take a
piss and his last name means what you got in your wallet unless you're a
fucking needle freak."
There was a long
expectant silence.
"Walter
Brennan," Henry said at last.
Bellows of laughter.
Jimmy Haspio clutched Kevin Blake. Kevin punched Jimmy in the shoulder
repeatedly. In Balazar's office, the house of cards which was now becoming a
tower of cards trembled again.
"Quiet
down!" 'Cimi yelled. "Da Boss is buildin!"
They quieted at once.
"Right,"
George said. "You got that one right, Henry. It was a toughie, but you
came through."
"Always do,"
Henry said. "Always come through in the fuckin clutch. How about a
fix?"
"Good idea!"
George said, and took a Roi-Tan cigar box from behind him. From it he produced
a hypo. He stuck it into the scarred vein above Henry's elbow, and Henry's last
rocket took off.
2
The pizza van's
exterior was grungy, but underneath the road-filth and spray-paint was a
high-tech marvel the DEA guys would have envied. As Balazar had said on more
than one occasion, you couldn't beat the bastards unless you could compete with
the bastards—unless you could match their equipment. It was expensive stuff,
but Balazar's side had an advantage: they stole what the DEA had to buy at
grossly inflated prices. There were electronics company employees all the way
down the Eastern Seaboard willing to sell you top secret stuff at bargain
basement prices. These catzzaroni (Jack Andolini called them Silicon
Valley Coke-Heads) practically threw the stuff at you.
Under the dash was a
fuzz-buster; a UHF police radar jammer; a high-range/high frequency radio
transmissions detector; an h-r/hf jammer; a transponder-amplifier that would
make anyone trying to track the van by standard triangulation methods decide it
was simultaneously in Connecticut, Harlem, and Montauk Sound; a
radio-telephone . . . and a small red button which Andolini pushed as soon as
Eddie Dean got out of the van.
In Balazar's office
the intercom uttered a single short buzz.
"That's
them," he said. "Claudio, let them in. 'Cimi, you tell everyone to
dummy up. So far as Eddie Dean knows, no one's with me but you and Claudio.
'Cimi, go in the storeroom with the other gentlemen."
They went, 'Cimi
turning left, Claudio Andolini going right.
Calmly, Balazar
started on another level of his edifice.
3
Just let me handle it,
Eddie said again as Claudio opened the door.
Yes, the
gunslinger said, but remained alert, ready to come forward the instant
it seemed necessary.
Keys rattled. The
gunslinger was very aware of odors— old sweat from Col Vincent on his right,
some sharp, almost acerbic aftershave from Jack Andolini on his left, and, as
they stepped into the dimness, the sour tang of beer.
The smell of beer was
all he recognized. This was no tumble-down saloon with sawdust on the floor and
planks set across sawhorses for a bar—it was as far from a place like Sheb's in
Tull as you could get, the gunslinger reckoned. Glass gleamed mellowly
everywhere, more glass in this one room than he had seen in all the years since
his childhood, when supply-lines had begun to break down, partially because of
interdicting raids carried out by the rebel forces of Parson, the Good Man, but
mostly, he thought, simply because the world was moving on. Farson had been a
symptom of that great movement, not the cause.
He saw their
reflections everywhere—on the walls, on the glass-faced bar and the long mirror
behind it; he could even see them reflected as curved miniatures in the
graceful bell-shapes of wine glasses hung upside down above the bar. . .
glasses as gorgeous and fragile as festival ornaments.
In one corner was a
sculpted creation of lights that rose and changed, rose and changed, rose and
changed. Gold to green; green to yellow; yellow to red; red to gold again.
Written across it in Great Letters was a word he could read but which meant
nothing to him: ROCKOLA.
Never mind. There was business
to be done here. He was no tourist; he must not allow himself the luxury of
behaving like one, no matter how wonderful or strange these things might be.
The man who had let
them in was clearly the brother of the man who drove what Eddie called the van
(as in vanguard, Roland supposed), although he was much taller and
perhaps five years younger. He wore a gun in a shoulder-rig.
"Where's
Henry?" Eddie asked. "I want to see Henry." He raised his voice.
"Henry! Hey, Henry!"
No reply; only silence
in which the glasses hung over the bar seemed to shiver with a delicacy that
was just beyond the range of a human ear.
"Mr. Balazar
would like to speak to you first."
"You got him
gagged and tied up somewhere, don't you?" Eddie asked, and before Claudio
could do more than open his mouth to reply, Eddie laughed. "No, what am I
thinking about—you got him stoned, that's all. Why would you bother with ropes
and gags when all you have to do to keep Henry quiet is needle him? Okay. Take
me to Balazar. Let's get this over with."
4
The gunslinger looked
at the tower of cards on Balazar's desk and thought: Another sign.
Balazar did not look
up—the tower of cards had grown too tall for that to be necessary—but rather
over the top. His expression was one of pleasure and warmth.
"Eddie," he
said. "I'm glad to see you, son. I heard you had some trouble at
Kennedy."
"I ain't your
son," Eddie said flatly.
Balazar made a little
gesture that was at the same time comic, sad, and untrustworthy: You hurt
me, Eddie, it said, you hurt me when you say a thing like that.
"Let's cut
through it," Eddie said. "You know it comes down to one thing or the
other: either the Feds are running me or they had to let me go. You know they
didn't sweat it out of me in just two hours. And you know if they had I'd be
down at 43rd Street, answering questions between an occasional break to puke in
the basin."
"Are they
running you, Eddie?" Balazar asked mildly.
"No. They had to
let me go. They're following, but I'm not leading."
"So you ditched
the stuff," Balazar said. "That's fascinating. You must tell me how
one ditches two pounds of coke when that one is on a jet plane. It would be
handy information to have. It's like a locked room mystery story."
"I didn't ditch
it," Eddie said, "but I don't have it anymore, either."
"So who
does?" Claudio asked, then blushed when his brother looked at him with
dour ferocity.
"He does,"
Eddie said, smiling, and pointed at Enrico Balazar over the tower of cards.
"It's already been delivered."
For the first time
since Eddie had been escorted into the office, a genuine
expression illuminated Balazar's face: surprise. Then it was gone. He smiled
politely.
"Yes," he
said. "To a location which will be revealed later, after you have your
brother and your goods and are gone. To Iceland, maybe. Is that how it's
supposed to go?"
"No," Eddie
said. "You don't understand. It's here. Delivery right to your
door. Just like we agreed. Because even in this day and age, there are some
people who still believe in living up to the deal as it was originally cut.
Amazing, I know, but true."
They were all staring
at him.
How'm I doing, Roland?
Eddie asked.
I think you are doing
very well. But don't let this man Balazar get his balance, Eddie. I think he's
dangerous.
You think so, huh?
Well, I'm one up on you there, my friend. I know he's
dangerous. Very fucking dangerous.
He looked at Balazar
again, and dropped him a little wink. "That's why you're the one
who's gotta be concerned with the Feds now, not me. If they turn up with a search
warrant, you could suddenly find yourself fucked without even opening your
legs, Mr. Balazar."
Balazar had picked up
two cards. His hands suddenly shook and he put them aside. It was minute, but
Roland saw it and Eddie saw it, too. An expression of uncertainty—even
momentary fear, perhaps—appeared and then disappeared on his face.
"Watch your mouth
with me, Eddie. Watch how you express yourself, and please remember that my
time and my tolerance for nonsense are both short."
Jack Andolini looked
alarmed.
"He made a deal
with them, Mr. Balazar! This little shit turned over the coke and they planted
it while they were pretending to question him!"
"No one has been
in here," Balazar said. "No one could get close, Jack, and you know
it. Beepers go when a pigeon farts on the roof."
"But—"
"Even if they had
managed to set us up somehow, we have so many people in their organization we
could drill fifteen holes in their case in three days. We'd
know who, when, and how."
Balazar looked back at
Eddie.
"Eddie," he said,
"you have fifteen seconds to stop bullshitting. Then I'm going to have
'Cimi Dretto step in here and hurt you. Then, after he hurts you for
awhile, he will leave, and from a room close by you will hear him hurting your
brother."
Eddie stiffened.
Easy, the
gunslinger murmured, and thought, All you have to do to hurt him is to say
his brother's name. It's like poking an open sore with a stick.
"I'm going to
walk into your bathroom," Eddie said. He pointed at a door in the far left
corner of the room, a door so unobtrusive it could almost have been one of the
wall panels. "I'm going in by myself. Then I'm going to walk back out with
a pound of your cocaine. Half the shipment. You test it. Then you bring Henry
in here where I can look at him. When I see him, see he's okay, you are going
to give him our goods and he's going to ride home with one of your gentlemen.
While he does, me and. . ."Roland, he almost said, ". . . me
and the rest of the guys we both know you got here can watch you build that
thing. When Henry's home and safe—which means no one standing there with a gun
in his ear—he's going to call and say a certain word. This is something we
worked out before I left. Just in case."
The gunslinger checked
Eddie's mind to see if this was true or bluff. It was true, or at least Eddie
thought it was. Roland saw Eddie really believed his brother Henry would die
before saying that word in falsity. The gunslinger was not so sure.
"You must think I
still believe in Santa Claus," Balazar said.
"I know you
don't."
"Claudio. Search
him. Jack, you go in my bathroom and search it. Everything."
"Is there any
place in there I wouldn't know about?" Andolini asked.
Balazar paused for a
long moment, considering Andolini carefully with his dark brown eyes.
"There is a small panel on the back wall of the medicine cabinet," he
said. "I keep a few personal things in there. It is not big enough to hide
a pound of dope in, but maybe you better check it."
Jack left, and as he
entered the little privy, the gunslinger saw a flash of the same frozen white
light that had illuminated the privy of the air-carriage. Then the door shut.
Balazar's eyes flicked
back to Eddie.
"Why do you want
to tell such crazy lies?" he asked, almost sorrowfully. "I thought
you were smart."
"Look in my
face," Eddie said quietly, "and tell me that I am lying."
Balazar did as Eddie
asked. He looked for a long time. Then he turned away, hands stuffed in his
pockets so deeply that the crack of his peasant's ass showed a little. His
posture was one of sorrow—sorrow over an erring son—but before he turned Roland
had seen an expression on Balazar's face that had not been sorrow. What Balazar
had seen in Eddie's face had left him not sorrowful but profoundly disturbed.
"Strip,"
Claudio said, and now he was holding his gun on Eddie.
Eddie started to take
his clothes off.
5
I don't like this, Balazar
thought as he waited for Jack Andolini to come back out of the bathroom. He was
scared, suddenly sweating not just under his arms or in his crotch, places
where he sweated even when it was the dead of winter and colder than a
well-digger's belt-buckle, but all over. Eddie had gone off looking like a
junkie—a smart junkie but still a junkie, someone who could be led
anywhere by the skag fishhook in his balls—and had come back looking like. . .
like what? Like he'd grown in some way, changed.
It's like somebody
poured two quarts of fresh guts down his throat.
Yes. That was it. And
the dope. The fucking dope. Jack was tossing the bathroom and Claudio was
checking Eddie with the thorough ferocity of a sadistic prison guard; Eddie had
stood with a stolidity Balazar would not previously have believed possible for
him or any other doper while Claudio spat four times into his left palm, rubbed
the snot-flecked spittle all over his right hand, then rammed it up Eddie's
asshole to the wrist and an inch or two beyond.
There was no dope in
his bathroom, no dope on Eddie or in him. There was no dope in Eddie's clothes,
his jacket, or his travelling bag. So it was all nothing but a bluff.
Look in my face and
tell me that I am lying.
So he had. What he saw
was upsetting. What he saw was that Eddie Dean was perfectly confident: he
intended to go into the bathroom and come back with half of Balazar's goods.
Balazar almost
believed it himself.
Claudio Andolini
pulled his arm back. His fingers came out of Eddie Dean's asshole with a
plopping sound. Claudio's mouth twisted like a fishline with knots in it.
"Hurry up, Jack,
I got this junkie's shit on my hand!" Claudio yelled angrily.
"If I'd known you
were going to be prospecting up there, Claudio, I would have wiped my ass with
a chair-leg last time I took a dump," Eddie said mildly. "Your hand
would have come out cleaner and I wouldn't be standing here feeling like I just
got raped by Ferdinand the Bull."
"Jack!"
"Go on down to
the kitchen and clean yourself up," Balazar said quietly. "Eddie and
I have got no reason to hurt each other. Do we, Eddie?"
"No," Eddie
said.
"He's clean,
anyway," Claudio said. "Well, clean ain't the word. What I
mean is he ain't holding. You can be goddam sure of that.'' He walked out,
holding his dirty hand in front of him like a dead fish.
Eddie looked calmly at
Balazar, who was thinking again of Harry Houdini, and Blackstone, and Doug
Henning, and David Copperfield. They kept saying that magic acts were as dead
as vaudeville, but Henning was a superstar and the Copperfield kid had blown
the crowd away the one time Balazar had caught his act in Atlantic City.
Balazar had loved magicians from the first time he had seen one on a
streetcorner, doing card-tricks for pocket-change. And what was the first thing
they always did before making something appear— something that would make the whole
audience first gasp and then applaud? What they did was invite someone up from
the audience to make sure that the place from which the rabbit or dove or
bare-breasted cutie or the whatever was to appear was perfectly empty. More
than that, to make sure there was no way to get anything inside.
I think maybe he's
done it. I don't know how, and I don't care. The only thing I know for sure is
that I don't like any of this, not one damn bit.
6
George Biondi also had
something not to like. He doubted if Eddie Dean was going to be wild about it,
either.
George was pretty sure
that at some point after 'Cimi had come into the accountant's office and doused
the lights, Henry had died. Died quietly, with no muss, no fuss, no bother. Had
simply floated away like a dandelion spore on a light breeze. George thought
maybe it had happened right around the time Claudio left to wash his shitty
hand in the kitchen.
"Henry?"
George muttered in Henry's ear. He put his mouth so close that it was like
kissing a girl's ear in a movie theater, and that was pretty fucking gross,
especially when you considered that the guy was probably dead—it was like
narcophobia or whatever the fuck they called it—but he had to know, and the
wall between this office and Balazar's was thin.
"What's wrong,
George?" Tricks Postino asked.
"Shut up,"
'Cimi said. His voice was the low rumble of an idling truck.
They shut up.
George slid a hand
inside Henry's shirt. Oh, this was getting worse and worse. That image of being
with a girl in a movie theater wouldn't leave him. Now here he was, feeling her
up, only it wasn't a her but a him, this wasn't just narcophobia,
it was fucking faggot narcophobia, and Henry's scrawny junkie's chest
wasn't moving up and down, and there wasn't anything inside going thump-thump-thump.
For Henry Dean it was all over, for Henry Dean the ball-game had been
rained out in the seventh inning. Wasn't nothing ticking but his watch.
He moved into the
heavy Old Country atmosphere of olive oil and garlic that surrounded 'Cimi
Dretto.
"I think we might
have a problem," George whispered.
7
Jack came out of the
bathroom.
"There's no dope
in there," he said, and his flat eyes studied Eddie. "And if you were
thinking about the window, you can forget it. That's ten-gauge steel
mesh."
"I wasn't
thinking about the window and it is in there," Eddie said quietly.
"You just don't know where to look."
"I'm sorry, Mr.
Balazar," Andolini said, "but this crock is getting just a little too
full for me."
Balazar studied Eddie
as if he hadn't even heard Andolini. He was thinking very deeply.
Thinking about
magicians pulling rabbits out of hats.
You got a guy from the
audience to check out the fact that the hat was empty. What other thing that
never changed? That no one saw into the hat but the magician, of course. And
what had the kid said? I'm going to walk into your bathroom. I'm going in by
myself.
Knowing how a magic
trick worked was something he usually wouldn't want to know; knowing spoiled
the fun.
Usually.
This, however, was a
trick he couldn't wait to spoil.
"Fine," he
said to Eddie. "If it's in there, go get it. Just like you are.
Bare-ass."
"Good,"
Eddie said, and started toward the bathroom door.
"But not
alone," Balazar said. Eddie stopped at once, his body stiffening as if
Balazar had shot him with an invisible harpoon, and it did Balazar's heart good
to see it. For the first time something hadn't gone according to the kid's
plan. "Jack's going with you."
"No," Eddie
said at once. "That's not what I—"
"Eddie,"
Balazar said gently, "you don't tell me no.
That's one thing you
never do."
8
It's all right, the
gunslinger said. Let him come.
But. . . but...
Eddie was close to gibbering,
barely holding onto his control. It wasn't just the sudden curve-ball Balazar
had thrown him; it was his gnawing worry over Henry, and, growing steadily
ascendant over all else, his need for a fix.
Let him come. It will
be all right. Listen:
Eddie listened.
9
Balazar watched him, a
slim, naked man with only the first suggestion of the junkie's typical
cave-chested slouch, his head cocked to one side, and as he watched Balazar
felt some of his confidence evaporate. It was as if the kid was listening to a
voice only he could hear.
The same thought
passed through Andolini's mind, but in a different way: What's this? He
looks like the dog on those old RCA Victor records!
Col had wanted to tell
him something about Eddie's eyes. Suddenly Jack Andolini wished he had
listened.
Wish in one hand, shit
in the other, he thought.
If Eddie had been
listening to voices inside his head, they had either quit talking or he had
quit paying attention.
"Okay," he
said. "Come along, Jack. I'll show you the Eighth Wonder of the
World." He flashed a smile that neither Jack Andolini or Enrico Balazar
cared for in the slightest.
"Is that
so?" Andolini pulled a gun from the clamshell holster attached to his belt
at the small of his back. "Am I gonna be amazed?"
Eddie's smile widened.
"Oh yeah. I think this is gonna knock your socks off."
10
Andolini followed
Eddie into the bathroom* He was holding the gun up because his wind was up.
"Close the
door," Eddie said.
"Fuck you,"
Andolini answered.
"Close the door
or no dope," Eddie said.
"Fuck you,"
Andolini said again. Now, a little scared, feeling that there was something
going on that he didn't understand, Andolini looked brighter than he had in the
van.
"He won't close
the door," Eddie yelled at Balazar. "I'm getting ready to give up on
you, Mr. Balazar. You probably got six wiseguys in this place, every one of
them with about four guns, and the two of you are going batshit over a kid in a
crapper. A. junkie kid."
"Shut the fucking
door, Jack!" Balazar shouted.
"That's
right," Eddie said as Jack Andolini kicked the door shut behind him.
"Is you a man or is you a m—"
"Oh boy, ain't I
had enough of this turd," Andolini said to no one in particular. He raised
the gun, butt forward, meaning to pistol-whip Eddie across the mouth.
Then he froze, gun
drawn up across his body, the snarl that bared his teeth slackening into a
slack-jawed gape of surprise as he saw what Col Vincent had seen in the van.
Eddie's eyes changed
from brown to blue.
"Now grab
him!" a low, commanding voice said, and although the
voice came from Eddie's mouth, it was not Eddie's voice.
Schizo, Jack
Andolini thought. He's gone schizo, gone fucking schi—
But the thought broke
off when Eddie's hands grabbed his shoulders, because when that happened,
Andolini saw a hole in reality suddenly appear about three feet behind Eddie.
No, not a hole. Its
dimensions were too perfect for that.
It was a door.
"Hail Mary fulla
grace," Jack said in a low breathy moan. Through that doorway which hung
in space a foot or so above the floor in front of Balazar's private shower he
could see a dark beach which sloped down to crashing waves. Things were moving
on that beach. Things.
He brought the gun
down, but the blow which had been meant to break off all of Eddie's front teeth
at the gum-line did no more than mash Eddie's lips back and bloody them a
little.
All the strength was
running out of him. Jack could feel it happening.
"I told you
it was gonna knock your socks off, Jack," Eddie said, and then yanked him.
Jack realized what Eddie meant to do at the last moment and began to fight like
a wildcat, but it was too late—they were tumbling backward through that
doorway, and the droning hum of New York City at night, so familiar and
constant you never even heard it unless it wasn't there anymore, was replaced
by the grinding sound of the waves and the grating, questioning voices of dimly
seen horrors crawling to and fro on the beach.
11
We'll have to move
very fast, or we'll find ourselves basted in a hot oast, Roland
had said, and Eddie was pretty sure the guy meant that if they didn't shuck and
jive at damn near the speed of light, their gooses were going to be cooked. He
believed it, too. When it came to hard guys, Jack Andolini was like Dwight
Gooden: you could rock him, yes, you could shock him, maybe, but if you let him
get away in the early innings he was going to stomp you flat later on.
Left hand! Roland
screamed at himself as they went through and he separated from Eddie. Remember!
Left hand! Left hand!
He saw Eddie and Jack
stumble backward, fall, and then go rolling down the rocky scree that edged the
beach, struggling for the gun in Andolini's hand.
Roland had just time
to think what a cosmic joke it would be if he arrived back in his own world
only to discover that his physical body had died while he had been away. . .
and then it was too late. Too late to wonder, too late to go back.
12
Andolini didn't know
what had happened. Part of him was sure he had gone crazy, part was sure Eddie
had doped him or gassed him or something like that, part believed that the
vengeful God of his childhood had finally tired of his evils and had plucked
him away from the world he knew and set him down in this weird purgatory.
Then he saw the door,
standing open, spilling a fan of white light—the light from Balazar's John—onto
the rocky ground—and understood it was possible to get back. Andolini was a
practical man above all else. He would worry about what all this meant later
on. Right now he intended to kill this creep's ass and get back through that
door.
The strength that had
gone out of him in his shocked surprise now flooded back. He realized Eddie was
trying to pull his small but very efficient Colt Cobra out of his hand and had
nearly succeeded. Jack pulled it back with a curse, tried to aim, and Eddie
promptly grabbed his arm again.
Andolini hoisted a
knee into the big muscle of Eddie's right thigh (the expensive gabardine of
Andolini's slacks was now crusted with dirty gray beach sand) and Eddie
screamed as the muscle seized up.
"Roland!" he
cried. "Help me! For Christ's sake, help me!"
Andolini snapped his
head around and what he saw threw him off-balance again. There was a guy
standing there . . . only he looked more like a ghost than a guy. Not exactly
Casper the Friendly Ghost, either. The swaying figure's white, haggard face was
rough with beard-stubble. His shirt was in tatters which blew back behind him
in twisted ribbons, showing the starved stack of his ribs. A filthy rag was
wrapped around his right hand. He looked sick, sick and dying, but even so he
also looked tough enough to make Andolini feel like a soft-boiled egg.
And the joker was
wearing a pair of guns.
They looked older than
the hills, old enough to have come from a Wild West museum . . . but they were
guns just the same, they might even really work, and Andolini suddenly realized
he was going to have to take care of the white-faced man right away . . .
unless he really was a spook, and if that was the case, it wouldn't
matter fuck-all, so there was really no sense worrying about it.
Andolini let go of
Eddie and snap-rolled to the right, barely feeling the edge of rock that tore
open his five-hundred-dollar sport jacket. At the same instant the gunslinger
drew left-handed, and his draw was as it had always been, sick or well, wide
awake or still half asleep: faster than a streak of blue summer lightning.
I'm beat, Andolini
thought, full of sick wonder. Christ, he's faster than anybody I ever saw!
I'm beat, holy Mary Mother of God, he's gonna blow me away, he's g—
The man in the ragged
shirt pulled the trigger of the revolver in his left hand and Jack Andolini
thought—really thought—he was dead before he realized there had been only a
dull click instead of a report.
Misfire.
Smiling, Andolini rose
to his knees and raised his own gun.
"I don't know who
you are, but you can kiss your ass good-bye, you fucking spook," he said.
13
Eddie sat up, shivering,
his naked body pocked with goosebumps. He saw Roland draw, heard the dry snap
that should have been a bang, saw Andolini come up on his knees, heard him say
something, and before he really knew what he was doing his hand had found a
ragged chunk of rock. He pulled it out of the grainy earth and threw it as hard
as he could.
It struck Andolini
high on the back of the head and bounced away. Blood sprayed from a ragged
hanging flap in Jack Andolini's scalp. Andolini fired, but the bullet that
surely would have killed the gunslinger otherwise went wild.
14
Not really wild, the
gunslinger could have told Eddie. When you feel the wind of the slug on your
cheek, you can't really call it wild.
He thumbed the hammer
of his gun back and pulled the trigger again as he recoiled from Andolini's
shot. This time the bullet in the chamber fired—the dry, authoritative crack
echoed up and down the beach. Gulls asleep on rocks high above the
lobstrosities awoke and flew upward in screaming, startled packs.
The gunslinger's
bullet would have stopped Andolini for good in spite of his own involuntary
recoil, but by then Andolini was also in motion, falling sideways, dazed by the
blow on the head. The crack of the gunslinger's revolver seemed distant, but
the searing poker it plunged into his left arm, shattering the elbow, was real
enough. It brought him out of his daze and he rose to his feet, one arm hanging
broken and useless, the gun wavering wildly about in his other hand, looking
for a target.
It was Eddie he saw
first, Eddie the junkie, Eddie who had somehow brought him to this crazy place.
Eddie was standing there as naked as the day he had been born, shivering in the
chilly wind, clutching himself with both arms. Well, he might die here, but he
would at least have the pleasure of taking Eddie Fucking Dean with him.
Andolini brought his
gun up. The little Cobra now seemed to weigh about twenty pounds, but he
managed.
15
This better not be
another misfire, Roland thought grimly, and thumbed the
hammer back again. Below the din of the gulls, he heard the smooth oiled click
as the chamber revolved.
16
It was no misfire.
17
The gunslinger hadn't
aimed at Andolini's head but at the gun in Andolini's hand. He didn't know if
they still needed this man, but they might; he was important to Balazar, and
because Balazar had proved to be every bit as dangerous as Roland had thought
he might be, the best course was the safest one.
His shot was good, and
that was no surprise; what happened .o Andolini's gun and hence to Andolini
was. Roland had seen it happen, but only twice in all the years he had seen men
file guns at each other.
Bad luck for you,
fellow, the gunslinger thought as Andolini wandered off
toward the beach, screaming. Blood poured down his shirt and pants. The hand
which had been holding the Colt Cobra was missing below the middle of the palm.
The gun was a senseless piece of twisted metal lying on the sand.
Eddie stared at him,
stunned. No one would ever misjudge Jack Andolini's caveman face again,
because now he had no face; where it had been there was now nothing but a
churned mess of raw flesh and the black screaming hole of his mouth
"My God, what
happened?"
"My bullet must
have struck the cylinder of his gun at the second he pulled the trigger,"
the gunslinger said. He spoke as dryly as a professor giving a police academy
ballistics lecture. "The result was an explosion that tore the back off
his gun. I think one or two of the other cartridges may have exploded as
well."
"Shoot him,"
Eddie said. He was shivering harder than ever, and now it wasn't just the
combination of night air, sea breeze, and naked body that was causing it.
"Kill him. Put him out of his misery, for God's s—"
"Too late,"
the gunslinger said with a cold indifference that chilled Eddie's flesh all the
way in to the bone.
And Eddie turned away
just too late to avoid seeing the lobstrosities swarm over Andolini's feet,
tearing off his Gucci loafers. . . with the feet still inside them, of course.
Screaming, waving his arms spasmodically before him, Andolini fell forward.
The lobstrosities swarmed greedily over him, questioning him anxiously all the
while they were eating him alive: Dad-a-chack? Did-a-chick? Dum-a-chum? Dod-a-chock?
"Jesus,"
Eddie moaned. "What do we do now?"
"Now you get
exactly as much of the
(devil-powder the
gunslinger said; cocaine Eddie heard)
as you promised the
man Balazar," Roland said, "no more and no less. And we go back.'' He
looked levelly at Eddie. "Only this time I have to go back with you. As
myself."
"Jesus
Christ," Eddie said. "Can you do that?" And at once answered his
own question. "Sure you can. But why?"
"Because you
can't handle this alone," Roland said. "Come here."
Eddie looked back at
the squirming hump of clawed creatures on the beach. He had never liked Jack
Andolini, but he felt his stomach roll over just the same.
"Come here,"
Roland said impatiently. "We've little time, and I have little liking for
what I must do now. It's something I've never done before. Never thought I would
do." His lips twisted bitterly. "I'm getting used to doing things
like that."
Eddie approached the
scrawny figure slowly, on legs that felt more and more like rubber. His bare
skin was white and glimmering in the alien dark. Just who are you, Roland? he
thought. What are you? And that heat I feel baking off you—is it just fever?
Or some kind of madness? I think it might be both.
God, he needed a fix.
More: he deserved a fix.
"Never done what
before?" he asked. "What are you talking about?"
"Take this,"
Roland said, and gestured at the ancient revolver slung low on his right hip.
Did not point; there was no finger to point with, only a bulky,
rag-wrapped bundle. "It's no good to me. Not now, perhaps never again."
"I. . ."
Eddie swallowed. "I don't want to touch it."
"I don't want you
to either," the gunslinger said with curious gentleness, "but I'm
afraid neither of us has a choice. There's going to be shooting."
"There is?"
"Yes." The gunslinger
looked serenely at Eddie. "Quite a lot of it, I think."
18
Balazar had become
more and more uneasy. Too long. They had been in there too long and it was too
quiet. Distantly, maybe on the next block, he could hear people shouting at
each other and then a couple of rattling reports that were probably
firecrackers . . . but when you were in the sort of business Balazar was in,
firecrackers weren't the first thing you thought of.
A scream. Was that a
scream?
Never mind. Whatever's
happening on the next block has nothing to do with you. You're turning into an
old woman.
All the same, the
signs were bad. Very bad.
"Jack?" he
yelled at the closed bathroom door.
There was no answer.
Balazar opened the
left front drawer of his desk and took out the gun. This was no Colt Cobra,
cozy enough to fit in a clamshell holster; it was a .357 Magnum.
" 'Cimi!" he
shouted. "I want you!"
He slammed the drawer.
The tower of cards fell with a soft, sighing thump. Balazar didn't even notice.
'Cimi Dretto, all two
hundred and fifty pounds of him, filled the doorway. He saw that Da Boss had
pulled his gun out of the drawer, and 'Cimi immediately pulled his own from
beneath a plaid jacket so loud it could have caused flash-burns on anyone who
made the mistake of looking at it too long.
"I want Claudio
and Tricks," he said. "Get them quick. The kid is up to
something."
"We got a
problem," 'Cimi said.
Balazar's eyes flicked
from the bathroom door to 'Cimi. "Oh, I got plenty of those already,"
he said. "What's this new one, 'Cimi?"
'Cimi licked his lips.
He didn't like telling Da Boss bad news even under the best of
circumstances; when he looked like this . . .
"Well," he
said, and licked his lips. "You see—"
"Will you hurry
the fuck up?" Balazar yelled.
19
The sandalwood grips
of the revolver were so smooth that Eddie's first act upon receiving it was to
nearly drop it on his toes. The thing was so big it looked prehistoric, so
heavy he knew he would have to lift it two-handed. The recoil, he
thought, is apt to drive me right through the nearest wall. That's if it
fires at all. Yet there was some part of him that wanted to hold it,
that responded to its perfectly expressed purpose, that sensed its dim and
bloody history and wanted to be part of it.
No one but the best
ever held this baby in his hand, Eddie thought. Until
now, at least.
"Are you
ready?" Roland asked.
"No, but let's do
it," Eddie said.
He gripped Roland's
left wrist with his left hand. Roland slid his hot right arm around Eddie's
bare shoulders.
Together they stepped
back through the doorway, from the windy darkness of the beach in Roland's
dying world to the cool fluorescent glare of Balazar's private bathroom in The
Leaning Tower.
Eddie blinked,
adjusting his eyes to the light, and heard 'Cimi Dretto in the other room.
"We got a problem," 'Cimi was saying. Don't we all, Eddie
thought, and then his eyes riveted on Balazar's medicine chest. It was standing
open. In his mind he heard Balazar telling Jack to search the bathroom, and
heard Andolini asking if there was any place in there he wouldn't know about.
Balazar had paused before replying. There is a small panel on the back wall
of the medicine cabinet, he had said. I keep a few personal
things in there.
Andolini had slid the
metal panel open but had neglected to close it. "Roland!" he hissed.
Roland raised his own
gun and pressed the barrel against his lips in a shushing gesture. Eddie
crossed silently to the medicine chest.
A few personal things—there
was a bottle of suppositories, a copy of a blearily printed magazine called Child's
Play (the cover depicting two naked girls of about eight engaged in a
soul-kiss) . . . and eight or ten sample packages of Keflex. Eddie knew what Keflex was. Junkies, prone
as they were to infections both general and local, usually knew.
Keflex was an
antibiotic.
"Oh, I got plenty
of those already," Balazar was saying. He sounded harried. "What's
this new one, 'Cimi?"
If this doesn't knock out
whatever's wrong with him nothing will, Eddie thought. He
began to grab the packages and went to stuff them into his pockets. He realized
he had no pockets and uttered a harsh bark that wasn't even close to
laughter.
He began to dump them
into the sink. He would have to pick them up later ... if there was a
later.
"Well,"
'Cimi was saying, "you see—"
"Will you hurry
the fuck up?" Balazar yelled.
"It's the kid's
big brother," 'Cimi said, and Eddie froze with the last two packages of
Keflex still in his hand, his head cocked. He looked more like the dog on the
old RCA Victor records than ever.
"What about
him?" Balazar asked impatiently.
"He's dead,"
'Cimi said.
Eddie dropped the
Keflex into the sink and turned toward Roland.
"They killed my
brother," he said.
20
Balazar opened his
mouth to tell 'Cimi not to bother him with a bunch of crap when he had
important things to worry about—like this impossible-to-shake feeling that the
kid was going to fuck him, Andolini or no Andolini—when he heard the kid as
clearly as the kid had no doubt heard him and 'Cimi. "They killed my
brother," the kid said.
Suddenly Balazar
didn't care about his goods, about the unanswered questions, or anything except
bringing this situation to a screeching halt before it could get any weirder.
"Kill him,
Jack!" he shouted.
There was no response.
Then he heard the kid say it again: "They killed my brother. They killed
Henry."
Balazar suddenly knew—knew—it
wasn't Jack the kid was talking to.
"Get all the
gentlemen," he said to 'Cimi. "All of them. We're gonna burn
his ass and when he's dead we're gonna take him in the kitchen and I'm gonna
personally chop his head off."
21
"They killed my
brother," the prisoner said. The gunslinger said nothing. He only watched
and thought: The bottles. In the sink. That's what I need, or what he thinks
I need. The packets. Don't forget. Don't forget.
From the other room: "Kill
him, Jack!"
Neither Eddie nor the
gunslinger took any notice of this.
"They killed my
brother. They killed Henry."
In the other room
Balazar was now talking about taking Eddie's head as a trophy. The gunslinger
found some odd comfort in this: not everything in this world was different from
his own, it seemed.
The one called 'Cimi
began shouting hoarsely for the others. There was an ungentlemanly thunder of
running feet.
"Do you want to
do something about it, or do you just want to stand here?" Roland asked.
"Oh, I want to do
something about it," Eddie said, and raised the gunslinger's revolver. Although
only moments ago he had believed he would need both hands to do it, he found
that he could do it easily.
"And what is it
you want to do?" Roland asked, and his voice seemed distant to his own
ears. He was sick, full of fever, but what was happening to him now was the
onset of a different fever, one which was all too familiar. It was the fever
that had overtaken him in Tull. It was battle-fire, hazing all thought, leaving
only the need to stop thinking and start shooting.
"I want to go to
war," Eddie Dean said calmly.
"You don't know
what you're talking about," Roland said, "but you are going to find
out. When we go through the door, you go right. I have to go left. My
hand." Eddie nodded. They went to their war.
22
Balazar had expected
Eddie, or Andolini, or both of them. He had not expected Eddie and an utter
stranger, a tall man with dirty gray-black hair and a face that looked as if it
had been chiseled from obdurate stone by some savage god. For a moment he was
not sure which way to fire.
'Cimi, however, had no
such problems. Da Boss was mad at Eddie. Therefore, he would punch
Eddie's clock first and worry about the other catzarro later. 'Cimi
turned ponderously toward Eddie and pulled the trigger of his automatic three
times. The casings jumped and gleamed in the air. Eddie saw the big man turning
and went into a mad slide along the floor, whizzing along like some kid in a
disco contest, a kid so jived-up he didn't realize he'd left his entire John
Travolta outfit, underwear included, behind; he went with his wang wagging and
his bare knees first heating and then scorching as the friction built up. Holes
punched through plastic that was supposed to look like knotty pine just above
him. Slivers of it rained down on his shoulders and into his hair.
Don't let me die naked
and needing a fix, God, he prayed, knowing such a prayer was more
than blasphemous; it was an absurdity. Still he was unable to stop it. /'// die,
but please, just let me have one more—
The revolver in the
gunslinger's left hand crashed. On the open beach it had been loud; over here
it was deafening.
"Oh Jeez!" 'Cimi
Dretto screamed in a strangled, breathy voice. It was a wonder he could scream
at all. His chest suddenly caved in, as if someone had swung a sledgehammer at
a barrel. His white shirt began to turn red in patches, as if poppies were
blooming on it. "Oh Jeez! Oh Jeez! Oh J—"
Claudio Andolini
shoved him aside. 'Cimi fell with a thud. Two of the framed pictures on
Balazar's wall crashed down. The one showing Da Boss presenting the
Sportsman of the Year trophy to a grinning kid at a Police Athletic League
banquet landed on 'Cimi's head. Shattered glass fell on his shoulders.
"oh jeez" he
whispered in a fainting little voice, and blood began to bubble from his lips.
Claudio was followed
by Tricks and one of the men who had been waiting in the storage room. Claudio
had an automatic in each hand; the guy from the storage room had a Remington
shotgun sawed off so short that it looked like a derringer with a case of the
mumps; Tricks Postino was carrying what he called The Wonderful Rambo
Machine—this was an M-16 rapid-fire assault weapon.
" Where's my
brother, you fucking needle-freak?" Claudio screamed. "What'd you do
to Jack?" He could not have been terribly interested in an answer, because
he began to fire with both weapons while he was still yelling. I'm dead, Eddie
thought, and then Roland fired again. Claudio Andolini was propelled backwards
in a cloud of his own blood. The automatics flew from his hands and slid
across Balazar's desk. They thumped to the carpet amid a flutter of playing
cards. Most of Claudio's guts hit the wall a second before Claudio caught up
with them.
"Get him!" Balazar
was shrieking. "Get the spook! The kid ain't dangerous! He's nothing
but a bare-ass junkie! Get the spook! Blow him away!"
He pulled the trigger
on the .357 twice. The Magnum was almost as loud as Roland's revolver. It did
not make neat holes in the wall against which Roland crouched; the slugs
smashed gaping wounds in the fake wood to either side of Roland's head. White
light from the bathroom shone through the holes in ragged rays.
Roland pulled the
trigger of his revolver.
Only a dry click.
Misfire.
"Eddie!" the
gunslinger yelled, and Eddie raised his own gun and pulled the trigger.
The crash was so loud
that for a moment he thought the gun had blown up in his hand, as Jack's had
done. The recoil did not drive him back through the wall, but it did snap his
arm up in a savage arc that jerked all the tendons under his arm.
He saw part of Balazar's
shoulder disintegrate into red spray, heard Balazar screech like a wounded cat,
and yelled, "The junkie ain't dangerous, was that what you said? Was
that it, you numb fuck? You want to mess with me and my brother? I'll show you
who's dangerous! I'll sh—"
There was a boom like
a grenade as the guy from the storage room fired the sawed-off. Eddie rolled as
the blast tore a hundred tiny holes in the walls and bathroom door. His naked
skin was seared by shot in several places, and Eddie understood that if the guy
had been closer, where the thing's pattern was tight, he would have been
vaporized.
Hell, I'm dead anyway,
he thought, watching as the guy from the storage room worked
the Remington's jack, pumping in fresh cartridges, then laying it over his
forearm. He was grinning. His teeth were very yellow—Eddie didn't think they
had been acquainted with a toothbrush in quite some time.
Christ, I'm going to
get killed by some fuckhead with yellow teeth and I don't even know his name, Eddie
thought dimly. A t least I put one in Balazar. A t least I did that much. He
wondered if Roland had another shot. He couldn't remember.
"I got him!"
Tricks Postino yelled cheerfully. "Gimme a clear field, Dario!" And
before the man named Dario could give him a clear field or anything else,
Tricks opened up with The Wonderful Rambo Machine. The heavy thunder of
machine-gun fire filled Balazar's office. The first result of this barrage was
to save Eddie Dean's life. Dario had drawn a bead on him with the sawed-off,
but before he could pull its double triggers, Tricks cut him in half.
"Stop it, you
idiot!" Balazar screamed.
But Tricks either
didn't hear, couldn't stop, or wouldn't stop. Lips pulled back from his teeth
so that his spit-shining teeth were bared in a huge shark's grin, he raked the
room from one end to the other, blowing two of the wall panels to dust, turning
framed photographs into clouds of flying glass fragments, hammering the
bathroom door off its hinges. The frosted glass of Balazar's shower stall
exploded. The March of Dimes trophy Balazar had gotten the year before bonged
like a bell as a slug drove through it.
In the movies, people
actually kill other people with hand-held rapid-fire weapons. In real life,
this rarely happens. If it does, it happens with the first four or five slugs
fired (as the unfortunate Dario could have testified, if he had ever been
capable of testifying to anything again). After the first four or five, two
things happen to a man—even a powerful one— trying to control such a weapon.
The muzzle begins to rise, and the shooter himself begins to turn either right
or left, depending on which unfortunate shoulder he has decided to bludgeon
with the weapon's recoil. In short, only a moron or a movie star would attempt
the use of such a gun; it was like trying to shoot someone with a pneumatic
drill.
For a moment Eddie was
incapable of any action more constructive than staring at this perfect marvel
of idiocy. Then he saw other men crowding through the door behind Tricks, and
raised Roland's revolver.
"Got him!" Tricks
was screaming with the joyous hysteria of a man who has seen too many movies
to be able to distinguish between what the script in his head says should be
happening and what really is. "Got him! I got him! I g—"
Eddie pulled the
trigger and vaporized Tricks from the eyebrows up. Judging from the man's
behavior, that was not a great deal.
Jesus Christ, when
these things do shoot, they really blow holes in things, he
thought.
There was a loud
KA-BLAM from Eddie's left. Something tore a hot gouge in his underdeveloped
left bicep. He saw Balazar pointing the Mag at him from behind the corner of
his card-littered desk. His shoulder was a dripping red mass. Eddie ducked as
the Magnum crashed again.
23
Roland managed to get
into a crouch, aimed at the first of the new men coming in through the door,
and squeezed the trigger. He had rolled the cylinder, dumped the used loads and
the duds onto the carpet, and had loaded this one fresh shell. He had done it
with his teeth. Balazar had pinned Eddie down; If this one's a dud, I
think we're both gone.
It wasn't. The gun
roared, recoiled in his hand, and Jimmy Haspio spun aside, the .45 he had been
holding falling from his dying fingers.
Roland saw the other
man duck back and then he was crawling through the splinters of wood and glass
that littered the floor. He dropped his revolver back into its holster. The
idea of reloading again with two of his right fingers missing was a joke.
Eddie was doing well.
The gunslinger measured just how well by the fact that he was fighting naked.
That was hard for a man. Sometimes impossible.
The gunslinger grabbed
one of the automatic pistols Claudio Andolini had dropped.
"What are the
rest of you guys waiting for?" Balazar screamed. "Jesus!
Eat these guys!"
Big George Biondi and
the other man from the supply room charged in through the door. The man from
the supply room was bawling something in Italian.
Roland crawled to the
corner of the desk. Eddie rose, aiming toward the door and the charging men. He
knows Balazar's there, waiting, but he thinks he's the only one of us with a
gun now, Roland thought. Here is another one ready to die for you,
Roland. What great wrong did you ever do that you should inspire such terrible
loyalty in so many?
Balazar rose, not
seeing the gunslinger was now on his flank. Balazar was thinking of only one
thing: finally putting an end to the goddam junkie who had brought this ruin
down on his head.
"No," the
gunslinger said, and Balazar looked around at him, surprise stamped on his
features.
"Fuck y—"
Balazar began, bringing the Magnum around. The gunslinger shot him four times
with Claudio's automatic. It was a cheap little thing, not much better than a
toy, and touching it made his hand feel dirty, but it was perhaps fitting to
kill a despicable man with a despicable weapon.
Enrico Balazar died
with an expression of terminal surprise on what remained of his face.
"Hi,
George!" Eddie said, and pulled the trigger of the gunslinger's revolver.
That satisfying crash came again. No duds in this baby, Eddie thought
crazily. I guess I must have gotten the good one. George got off
one shot before Eddie's bullet drove him back into the screaming man, bowling
him over like a ninepin, but it went wild. An irrational but utterly persuasive
feeling had come over him: a feeling that Roland's gun held some magical,
talismanic power of protection. As long as he held it, he couldn't be hurt.
Silence fell then, a
silence in which Eddie could hear only the man under Big George moaning (when
George landed on Rudy Vechhio, which was this unfortunate fellow's name, he had
fractured three of Vechhio's ribs) and the high ringing in his own ears. He
wondered if he would ever hear right again. The shooting spree which now seemed
to be over made the loudest rock concert Eddie had ever been to sound like a
radio playing two blocks over by comparison.
Balazar's office was
no longer recognizable as a room of any kind. Its previous function had ceased to
matter. Eddie looked around with the wide, wondering eyes of a very young man
seeing something like this for the first time, but Roland knew the look, and
the look was always the same. Whether it was an open field of battle where
thousands had died by cannon, rifle, sword, and halberd or a small room where
five or six had shot each other, it was the same place, always the same place
in the end: another deadhouse, stinking of gunpowder and raw meat.
The wall between the
bathroom and the office was gone except for a few struts. Broken glass twinkled
everywhere. Ceiling panels that had been shredded by Tricks Postino's gaudy but
useless M-16 fireworks display hung down like pieces of peeled skin.
Eddie coughed dryly.
Now he could hear other sounds—a babble of excited conversation, shouted voices
outside the bar, and, in the distance, the warble of sirens.
"How many?"
the gunslinger asked Eddie. "Can we have gotten all of them?"
"Yes, I
think—"
"I got something
for you, Eddie," Kevin Blake said from the hallway. "I thought you
might want it, like for a souvenir, you know?"
What Balazar had not been able to do to the younger
Dean brother Kevin had done to the elder. He lobbed Henry Dean's severed head
through the doorway.
Eddie saw what it was and screamed. He ran
toward the door, heedless
of the splinters of glass and wood that punched into his bare feet, screaming, shooting, firing the last
live shell in the big revolver as he went.
"No, Eddie!" Roland
screamed, but Eddie didn't hear. He was beyond hearing.
He hit a dud in the sixth chamber, but by
then he was aware of
nothing but the fact that Henry was dead, Henry, they had cut off his head, some miserable son of
a bitch had cut off Henry's head,
and that son of a bitch was going to pay, oh yes, you could count on that.
So he ran toward the door, pulling the
trigger again and again, unaware
that nothing was happening, unaware that his feet were red with blood, and Kevin Blake stepped into the doorway to
meet him, crouched low, a Llama .38 automatic in his hand. Kevin's red hair stood around his head in
coils and springs, and Kevin was smiling.
24
He'll be low, the gunslinger thought, knowing he could have to be lucky to hit his target with this
untrustworthy little toy
even if he had guessed right.
When he saw the ruse of Balazar's soldier
was going to draw Eddie out,
Roland rose to his knees and steadied his left hand
on his right fist, grimly ignoring the screech of pain making that fist caused. He would have one chance only. The pain didn't matter.
Then the man with the red hair stepped into
the doorway, smiling, and as
always Roland's brain was gone; his eye saw, his hand shot, and suddenly the red-head was lying
against the wall of the corridor
with his eyes open and a small blue hole in his forehead. Eddie was standing over him, screaming and sobbing, dry-firing the big revolver with the
sandalwood grips again and
again, as if the man with the red hair could never be dead enough.
The gunslinger waited for the deadly
crossfire that would cut
Eddie in half and when it didn't come he knew it was truly over. If there had
been other soldiers, they had taken to their heels.
He got
wearily to his feet, reeled, and then walked slowly over to where Eddie Dean stood.
"Stop
it," he said.
Eddie ignored him and went on
dry-firing Roland's big gun at the dead
man.
"Stop
it, Eddie, he's dead. They're all dead. Your feet are bleeding."
Eddie
ignored him and went on pulling the revolver's trigger. The babble of excited voices outside was closer. So were the sirens.
The gunslinger reached for
the gun and pulled on it. Eddie turned on him, and before Roland was entirely
sure what was happening, Eddie struck him
on the side of the head with his own gun. Roland felt a warm gush of
blood and collapsed against the wall. He
struggled to stay on his feet— they
had to get out of here, quick. But he could feel himself sliding down the wall in spite of his every
effort, and then the world was gone
for a little while in a drift of grayness.
25
He was
out for no more than two minutes, and then he managed to get things back into focus and make it to his
feet. Eddie was no
longer in the hallway. Roland's gun lay on the chest of the dead man with the red hair. The gunslinger
bent, fighting off a
wave of dizziness, picked it up, and dropped it into its holster with an awkward, cross-body movement.
I want my damned fingers
back, he thought tiredly, and sighed.
He tried to walk back into the
ruins of the office, but the best he could
manage was an educated stagger. He stopped, bent, and picked up all of Eddie's
clothes that he could hold in the crook of his left arm. The howlers had
almost arrived. Roland believed the men
winding them were probably militia, a
Marshall’s posse, something of that sort . . . but there was
always the possibility
they might be more of Balazar's men.
"Eddie,"
he croaked. His throat was sore and throbbing again, worse even than the
swollen place on the side of his head where Eddie had struck him with the revolver.
Eddie didn't notice. Eddie
was sitting on the floor with his brother's
head cradled against his belly. He was shuddering all over and crying. The gunslinger looked for
the door, didn't see it, and felt a nasty jolt that was nearly terror.
Then he remembered. With both of them on
this side, the only way to create the door was for him to make physical
contact with Eddie.
He
reached for him but Eddie shrank away, still weeping. "Don't touch me," he said.
"Eddie, it's over.
They're all dead, and your brother's dead,
too."
"Leave
my brother out of this!" Eddie shrieked childishly, and
another fit of shuddering went through him. He cradled the severed head to his
chest and rocked it. He lifted his streaming
eyes to the gunslinger's face.
"All
the times he took care of me, man," he said, sobbing so hard the gunslinger could barely
understand him. "All the times.
Why couldn't I have taken care of him, just this once, after all the times he took care of me?"
He took care of you, all
right, Roland thought grimly. Look at you, sitting there and shaking like a man
who's eaten an apple from the fever
tree. He took care of you just fine.
"We
have to go."
"Go?"
for the first time some vague understanding came into Eddie's face, and it was followed immediately by
alarm. "I ain't going nowhere. Especially not
back to that other place, where those big
crabs or whatever they are ate Jack."
Someone
was hammering on the door, yelling to open up.
"Do
you want to stay here and explain all these bodies?" the gunslinger asked.
"I don't care,"
Eddie said. "Without Henry, it doesn't matter.
Nothing does."
"Maybe
it doesn't matter to you," Roland said, "but there are others involved, prisoner."
"Don't call me
that!" Eddie shouted.
“I’ll call you that until you show me you can walk out of the cell
you're in!" Roland shouted back. It hurt his throat to yell, but he
yelled just the same. "Throw that rotten piece of meat away and stop
puling!"
Eddie looked
at him, cheeks wet, eyes wide and frightened.
"THIS
IS YOUR LAST CHANCE!" an
amplified voice said from
outside. To Eddie the voice sounded eerily like the voice of a game-show host. "THE S.W.A.T. SQUAD HAS ARRIVED—I REPEAT: THE S.W.A.T. SQUAD HAS ARRIVED!"
"What's
on the other side of that door for me?" Eddie asked the gunslinger quietly. "Go on and tell
me. If you can tell me, maybe
I'll come. But if you lie, I'll know."
"Probably
death," the gunslinger said. "But before that happens, I don't think you'll be bored. I
want you to join me on a
quest. Of course, all will probably end in death—death for the four of us in a strange place. But
if we should win through ..." His eyes gleamed. "If we win through, Eddie, you'll see something beyond all the beliefs of all
your dreams."
"What
thing?"
"The
Dark Tower."
"Where
is this Tower?"
"Far
from the beach where you found me. How far I know not."
"What is it?"
"I
don't know that, either—except that it may be a kind of ... of a
bolt. A central linchpin that holds all of existence together. All existence, all time, and all size."
"You
said four. Who are the other two?"
"I
know them not, for they have yet to be drawn."
"As
I was drawn. Or as you'd like to draw me."
"Yes."
From
outside there was a coughing explosion like a mortar round. The glass of The Leaning Tower's front window blew in.
The barroom began to fill with choking clouds of tear-gas.
"Well?" Roland asked.
He could grab Eddie, force the doorway into existence by their contact, and
pummel them both through. But he had seen
Eddie risk his life for him; he had
seen this hag-ridden man behave with all the dignity of a born gunslinger in spite of his addiction and the
fact that he had been forced to
fight as naked as the day he was born, and he wanted Eddie to decide for himself.
"Quests,
adventures, Towers, worlds to win," Eddie said, and smiled wanly. Neither of them turned as
fresh tear-gas rounds flew through
the windows to explode, hissing, on the floor. The first acrid tendrils of the gas were now slipping into Balazar's office. "Sounds better than
one of those Edgar Rice Burroughs
books about Mars Henry used to read me sometimes when we were kids. You only left out one thing."
"What's
that?"
"The
beautiful bare-breasted girls."
The
gunslinger smiled. "On the way to the Dark Tower," he said, "anything is possible."
Another
shudder wracked Eddie's body. He raised Henry's head, kissed one cool, ash-colored cheek, and laid the
gore-streaked relic gently
aside. He got to his feet.
"Okay,"
he said. "I didn't have any thing else planned for tonight, anyway."
"Take
these," Roland said, and shoved the clothes at him. "Put on your shoes if nothing else. You've
cut your feet."
On the sidewalk outside, two
cops wearing Plexiglas faceplates, flak
jackets, and Kevlar vests smashed in The Leaning Tower's front door. In the bathroom, Eddie (dressed in his underpants, his Adidas sneakers, and nothing else)
handed the sample packages of Keflex
to Roland one by one, and Roland put them into the pockets of Eddie's jeans.
When they were all safely stowed,
Roland slid his right arm around Eddie's neck again and Eddie gripped Roland's left hand again. The door was suddenly there, a rectangle of darkness.
Eddie felt the wind from that other world blow his sweaty hair back from
his forehead. He heard the waves rolling up
that stony beach. He smelled the
tang of sour sea-salt. And in spite of everything, all his pain and sorrow, he suddenly wanted to see
this Tower of which Roland spoke. He
wanted to see it very much. And with Henry dead, what was there in this
world for him? Their parents were dead, and
there hadn't been a steady girl since he got heavily into the smack three
years ago—just a steady parade of sluts,
needlers, and nosers. None of them straight. Fuck that action.
They
stepped through, Eddie actually leading a little.
On the
other side he was suddenly wracked with fresh shudders and agonizing muscle-cramps—the first symptoms of serious heroin withdrawal. And with them
he also had the first alarmed
second thoughts.
"Wait!"
he shouted. "I want to go back for a minute! His desk! His desk, or the other office! The skag! If they were keeping Henry doped, there's gotta be junk!
Heroin! I need it! I need it!"
He
looked pleadingly at Roland, but the gunslinger's face was stony.
"That
part of your life is over, Eddie," he said. He reached out with his left hand.
"No!" Eddie screamed, clawing at him. 'Wo, you don't get it, man, I
need it! I NEED IT!"
He
might as well have been clawing stone.
The
gunslinger swept the door shut.
It made
a dull clapping sound that bespoke utter finality and fell backward onto the sand. A little
dust puffed up from its edges. There was nothing
behind the door, and now no word written upon it. This particular portal
between the worlds had closed forever.
"NO!"
Eddie screamed, and the
gulls screamed back at him as if in jeering
contempt; the lobstrosities asked him questions, perhaps suggesting he could
hear them a little better if he were to
come a little closer, and Eddie fell over on his side, crying and shuddering and jerking with cramps.
"Your
need will pass," the gunslinger said, and managed to get one of the sample packets out of the
pocket of Eddie's jeans, which
were so like his own. Again, he could read some of these letters but not all. Cheeflet, the word
looked like.
Cheeflet.
Medicine
from that other world.
"Kill or cure,"
Roland murmured, and dry-swallowed two of
the capsules. Then he took the other three astin, and lay next to Eddie, and took him in his arms as well
as he could, and after some difficult time, both of them slept.
shuffle
The time
following that night was broken time for Roland, time that didn't really exist
as time at all. What he remembered was only
a series of images, moments, conversation
without context; images flashing past like one-eyed jacks and treys and
nines and the Bloody Black Bitch Queen of Spiders
in a card-sharp's rapid shuffle.
Later on
he asked Eddie how long that time lasted, but Eddie didn't know either. Time had been destroyed for
both of them. There is
no time in hell, and each of them was in his own private hell: Roland the hell of the fever and
infection, Eddie the hell
of withdrawal.
"It
was less than a week," Eddie said. "That's all I know for sure."
"How do you know
that?"
"A
week's worth of pills was all I had to give you. After that, you were gonna have to do the one
thing or the other on your own."
"Get
well or die."
"Right."
shuffle
There's a
gunshot as twilight draws down to dark, a dry crack impinging on the inevitable
and ineluctable sound of the breakers dying on the desolate beach: KA-BLAM! He
smells a whiff of gunpowder. Trouble, the gunslinger thinks weakly, and
gropes for revolvers that aren't there. Oh no, it's the end, it's . . .
But there's no more, as
something starts to smell
shuffle
good in the dark. Something, after all this long dark dry time, something is cooking. It's not
just the smell. He can hear the snap
and pop of twigs, can see the faint orange flicker of a campfire. Sometimes, when the sea-breeze
gusts, he smells fragrant smoke as well as that
mouth-watering other smell. Food, he thinks. My God, am I hungry? If I'm hungry,
maybe I'm getting well.
Eddie, he tries to say, but his voice is all gone.
His throat hurts, hurts so bad. We should have brought some astin, too,
he thinks, and then tries
to laugh: all the drugs for him, none for Eddie.
Eddie
appears. He's got a tin plate, one the gunslinger would know anywhere: it came, after all, from
his own purse. On it are
steaming chunks of whitish-pink meat.
What? he tries to ask, and nothing comes out but a squeaky little farting sound.
Eddie
reads the shape of his lips. "I don't know," he says crossly. "All I know is it didn't kill
me. Eat it, damn you."
He sees
Eddie is very pale, Eddie is shaking, and he smells something coming from Eddie that is either
shit or death, and he
knows Eddie is in a bad way. He reaches out a groping hand, wanting to give comfort. Eddie strikes
it away.
"I'll
feed you," he says crossly. "Fucked if I know why. I ought to kill
you. I would, if I didn't think that if you could get through into my world once, maybe you could
do it again."
Eddie
looks around.
"And
if it wasn't that I'd be alone. Except for them."
He
looks back at Roland and a fit of shuddering runs through him—it is so fierce that he almost
spills the chunks of meat on
the tin plate. At last it passes.
"Eat,
God damn you."
The
gunslinger eats. The meat is more than not bad; the meat is delicious. He
manages three pieces and then everything
blurs into a new
shuffle
effort to speak, but all he can do is whisper. The cup of Eddie's ear is pressed against his lips,
except every now and then it
shudders away as Eddie goes through one of his spasms. He says it again. "North. Up ... up the beach."
"How do you know?"
"Just
know," he whispers.
Eddie
looks at him. "You're crazy," he says.
The
gunslinger smiles and tries to black out but Eddie slaps him, slaps him hard. Roland's blue eyes
fly open and for a moment they are
so alive and electric Eddie looks uneasy. Then his lips draw back in a smile that is mostly snarl.
"Yeah,
you can drone off," he said, "but first you gotta take your dope. It's time. Sun says it is,
anyway. I guess. I was never no
Boy Scout, so I don't know for sure. But I guess it's close enough for Government work. Open wide, Roland. Open wide for Dr. Eddie, you kidnapping
fuck."
The gunslinger opens his
mouth like a baby for the breast. Eddie puts
two of the pills in his mouth and then slops fresh water carelessly into Roland's mouth. Roland guesses it must be
from a hill stream somewhere to the east. It might be poison; Eddie
wouldn't know fair water from foul. On the other
hand, Eddie seems fine himself, and there's really no choice, is there? No.
He
swallows, coughs, and nearly strangles while Eddie looks at him indifferently.
Roland
reaches for him.
Eddie
tries to draw away.
The
gunslinger's bullshooter eyes command him.
Roland
draws him close, so close he can smell the stink of Eddie's sickness and Eddie can smell the stink of his; the combination sickens and compels them both.
"Only
two choices here," Roland whispers. "Don't know how it is in your
world, but only two choices here. Stand and maybe live, or die on your knees with your head down and the stink of your own armpits in your nose. Nothing... "He hacks out a cough. "Nothing to
me."
"Who
are you?" Eddie
screams at him.
"Your
destiny, Eddie," the gunslinger whispers.
"Why
don't you just eat shit and die?" Eddie asks him. The gunslinger tries to speak, but before he
can he floats off as the
cards
shuffle
KA-BLAM!
Roland opens his eyes on a
billion stars wheeling through the
blackness, then closes them again.
He doesn't know what's going
on but he thinks everything's okay. The
deck's still moving, the cards still
shuffle
More of the sweet, tasty chunks of meat. He feels better. Eddie looks better, too. But he also looks
worried.
"They're
getting closer," he says. "They may be ugly, but they ain't completely stupid. They know what
I been doing. Somehow they
know, and they don't dig it. Every night they get a little closer. It might be smart to move on when
daybreak comes, if you
can. Or it might be the last daybreak we ever see."
"What?"
This is not exactly a whisper but a husk somewhere between a whisper and real speech.
"Them," Eddie says, and gestures toward the beach. "Dad-a-chack, dum-a-chum, and all that shit. I think they're like
us, Roland—all for eating, but not too big on getting eaten."
Suddenly,
in an utter blast of horror, Roland realizes what the whitish-pink chunks of meat Eddie has
been feeding him have been. He
cannot speak; revulsion robs him of what little voice he has managed to get back. But Eddie sees
everything he wants to say on
his face.
"What did you think I
was doing?" he nearly snarls. "Calling
Red Lobster for take-out?"
"They're poison,"
Roland whispers. "That's why—"
"Yeah,
that's why you're hors de combat. What I'm trying to keep from you being, Roland my friend, is
h'ors d'oeuvres as well. As far as poison goes, rattlesnakes are poison,
but people eat them.
Rattlesnake tastes real good. Like chicken. I read that somewhere. They looked like lobsters to
me, so I decided to take a
chance. What else were we gonna eat? Dirt? I shot one of the fuckers and cooked the living Christ out of it. There wasn't anything else. And actually, they taste
pretty good. I been shooting one a
night just after the sun starts to go down. They're not real lively until
it gets completely dark. I never saw you
turning the stuff down."
Eddie
smiles.
"I
like to think maybe I got one of the ones that ate Jack. I like to think I'm eating that dink. It, like,
eases my mind, you know?"
"One
of them ate part of me, too," the gunslinger husks out. "Two fingers, one toe."
"That's
also cool," Eddie keeps smiling. His face is pallid, sharklike . . . but
some of that ill look has gone now, and the smell of shit and death which has hung around him like a shroud seems to be going away.
"Fuck
yourself," the gunslinger husks.
"Roland
shows a flash of spirit!" Eddie cries. "Maybe you ain't gonna die after all! Dahling! I think
that's mahvellous!"
"Live," Roland
says. The husk has become a whisper again. The
fishhooks are returning to his throat.
"Yeah?"
Eddie looks at him, then nods and answers his own
question. "Yeah. I think you mean to. Once I thought you were going and
once I thought you were gone. Now it looks
like you're going to get better. The antibiotics are helping, I guess,
but mostly I think you're hauling yourself up. What for? Why the fuck do you keep trying so hard to keep alive on this scuzzy beach?"
Tower, he mouths, because now he can't even manage a
husk.
"You
and your fucking Tower," Eddie says, starts to turn away, and then turns back, surprised, as
Roland's hand clamps on his
arm like a manacle.
They look into each others'
eyes and Eddie says, "All right. All right!"
North, the gunslinger mouths. North, I told you. Has
he told him that? He thinks
so, but it's lost. Lost in the shuffle.
"How do you know?"
Eddie screams at him in sudden frustration. He raises his fists as if to
strike Roland, then lowers them.
I just know—so why do you
waste my time and energy asking me foolish
questions? he wants
to reply, but before he can,
the cards
shuffle
being
dragged along, bounced and bumped, his head lolling
helplessly from one side to the other, bound to some kind of a weird travois by his own
gunbelts, and he can hear Eddie Dean singing a song which is so weirdly
familiar he at first believes this
must be a delirium dream:
"Heyy Jude . . . don't
make it bad . . . take a saaad song . . . and make it better . . ."
Where
did you hear that? he
wants to ask. Did you hear me singing
it, Eddie? And where are we?
But before he can ask
anything
shuffle
Cort would
bash the kid's head in if he saw that contraption,
Roland thinks,
looking at the travois upon which he has spent the day, and laughs. It isn't much of a laugh. It
sounds like one of those waves dropping its
load of stones on the beach. He doesn't
know how far they have come, but it's far enough for Eddie to be totally bushed. He's sitting on a rock in the lengthening light with one of the gunslinger's
revolvers in his lap and a half-full
water-skin to one side. There's a small bulge in his shirt pocket. These are the bullets from the back of the
gunbelts—the diminishing supply of "good" bullets. Eddie has tied these up in a piece of his own
shirt. The main reason the supply of
"good" bullets is diminishing so fast is because one of every four or five has also turned
out to be a dud.
Eddie,
who has been nearly dozing, now looks up. "What are you laughing
about?" he asks.
The
gunslinger waves a dismissive hand and shakes his head. Because he's wrong, he realizes. Cort
wouldn't bash Eddie for the travois,
even though it was an odd, lame-looking thing. Roland thinks it might even be possible that Cort might grunt
some word of compliment—such a rarity that the boy to whom it happened hardly
ever knew how to respond; he was left gaping like a fish just pulled from a cook's barrel.
The main supports were two
cottonwood branches of approximately the same
length and thickness. A blowdown, the
gunslinger presumed. He had used smaller branches as supports, attaching
them to the support poles with a crazy conglomeration of stuff: gunbelts, the
glue-string that had held the devil-powder to his chest, even the rawhide thong
from the gunslinger's hat and his, Eddie's,
own sneaker laces. He had laid the
gunslinger's bedroll over the supports.
Cort
would not have struck him because, sick as he was, Eddie had at least done more than squat on
his hunkers and bewail his fate. He had made something. Had tried.
And Cort might have offered
one of his abrupt, almost grudging
compliments because, crazy as the thing looked, it worked. The long tracks stretching back down the beach to a point where they seemed to come together at the
rim of perspective proved that.
"You see any of
them?" Eddie asks. The sun is going down,
beating an orange path across the water, and so the gunslinger reckons he has been out better than
six hours this time. He feels
stronger. He sits up and looks down to the water.
Neither
the beach nor the land sweeping to the western slope of the mountains have changed much; he can
see small variations of
landscape and detritus (a dead seagull, for instance, lying in a little heap of blowing feathers on the sand about twenty yards to the left and thirty or so closer
to the water), but these aside, they
might as well be right where they started.
"No,"
the gunslinger says. Then: "Yes. There's one."
He points. Eddie squints,
then nods. As the sun sinks lower and the
orange track begins to look more and more like blood, the first of the
lobstrosities come tumbling out of the waves
and begin crawling up the beach.
Two of them race clumsily
toward the dead gull. The winner pounces on it, rips it open, and begins to
stuff the rotting remains into its maw. "Did-a-chick?" it
asks.
"Dum-a-chum?"
responds the loser. "Dod-a—"
KA-BLAM!
Roland's
gun puts an end to the second creature's questions. Eddie walks down to it and
grabs it by the back, keeping a wary
eye on its fellow as he does so. The other offers no trouble, however; it is busy with the gull.
Eddie brings his kill back.
It is still twitching, raising and lowering its claws, but soon enough it stops moving. The tail arches
one final time, then simply
drops instead of flexing downward. The boxers' claws hang limp.
"Dinnah
will soon be served, mawster," Eddie says. "You have your choice: filet of creepy-crawler or
filet of creepy-crawler. Which
strikes your fancy, mawster?"
"I
don't understand you," the gunslinger said.
"Sure
you do," Eddie said. "You just don't have any sense of humor. What happened to it?"
"Shot
off in one war or another, I guess."
Eddie
smiles at that. "You look and sound a little more alive tonight, Roland."
"I
am, I think."
"Well,
maybe you could even walk for awhile tomorrow. I'll tell you very frankly, my friend, dragging you is
the pits and the shits."
"I'll
try."
"You do that."
"You
look a little better, too," Roland ventures. His voice cracks on the last
two words like the voice of a young boy. If don't stop talking soon, he thought, I won't be able to talk at all again.
"I
guess I'll live." He looks at Roland expressionlessly. "You'll never know how close it was a couple of times, though. Once I took one of your guns and put it
against my head. Cocked it, held it
there for awhile, and then took it away. Eased the hammer down and shoved it back in your holster. Another night
I had a convulsion. I think that was the second night, but I'm not sure." He shakes his head and says something
the gunslinger both does and doesn't understand. "Michigan seems like a dream to me now."
Although
his voice is down to that husky murmur again and he knows he shouldn't be talking at all, the
gunslinger has to know one thing. "What
stopped you from pulling the trigger?"
"Well,
this is the only pair of pants I've got," Eddie says. "At the last second I thought that if I
pulled the trigger and it was one of
those dud shells, I'd never get up the guts to do it again . . . and once you shit your pants, you
gotta wash 'em right away or
live with the stink forever. Henry told me that. He said he learned it in Nam. And since it was nighttime
and Lester the Lobster was out,
not to mention all his friends—"
But the
gunslinger is laughing, laughing hard, although only an occasional cracked sound actually escapes his
lips. Smiling a
little himself, Eddie says: "I think maybe you only got your sense of humor shot off up to the
elbow in that war.'' He gets
up, meaning to go up the slope to where there will be fuel for a fire, Roland supposes.
"Wait," he
whispers, and Eddie looks at him. "Why, really?"
"I guess because you needed me. If I'd killed myself, you would have died. Later on, after you're really on your feet again, I may, like, re-examine my options."
He looks around and sighs deeply.
"There
may be a Disney land or Cony Island somewhere in
your world, Roland, but what I've seen of it so far really doesn't interest me much."
He
starts away, pauses, and looks back again at Roland. His face is somber, although some of the
sickly pallor has left it. The
shakes have become no more than occasional tremors.
"Sometimes
you really don't understand me, do you?"
"No,"
the gunslinger whispers. "Sometimes I don't."
"Then
I'll elucidate. There are people who need people to need them. The reason you don't understand
is because you're not one of
those people. You'd use me and then toss me away like a paper bag if that's what it came down to. God
fucked you, my friend.
You're just smart enough so it would hurt you to do that, and just hard enough
so you'd go ahead and do it anyway.
You wouldn't be able to help yourself. If I was lying on the beach there and screaming for help,
you'd walk over me if I was
between you and your goddam Tower. Isn't that pretty close to the truth?"
Roland
says nothing, only watches Eddie.
"But
not everyone is like that. There are people who need people to need them. Like
the Barbara Streisand song. Corny, but true. It's just another way of being hooked through the bag."
Eddie
gazes at him.
"But
when it comes to that, you're clean, aren't you?"
Roland
watches him.
"Except for your
Tower." Eddie utters a short laugh. "You're
a Tower junkie, Roland."
"Which
war was it?" Roland whispers.
"What?"
"The
one where you got your sense of nobility and purpose shot off?"
Eddie
recoils as if Roland has reached out and slapped him.
"I'm
gonna go get some water," he says shortly. "Keep an eye on the creepy crawlers. We came a long
way today, but I still don't know if they talk to
each other or not."
He
turns away then, but not before Roland has seen the last red rays of sunset reflected on his wet
cheeks.
Roland turns back to the
beach and watches. The lobstrosities crawl and question, question and crawl,
but both activities seem aimless; they have
some intelligence, but not enough to pass on information to others of
their kind.
God doesn't always dish it in
your face, Roland thinks. Most times, but not always.
Eddie returns with wood.
"Well?" he asks.
"What do you think?"
"We're
all right," the gunslinger croaks, and Eddie starts to say something but the gunslinger is tired
now and lies back and looks at the first stars peeking
through the canopy of violet sky and
shuffle
in the three days that followed, the gunslinger progressed steadily back
to health. The red lines creeping up his arms first reversed their direction, then faded, then
disappeared. On the next day he sometimes walked and sometimes let Eddie drag him. On the day following he didn't need to
be dragged at all; every hour or two they simply sat for a period of time until
the watery feeling went out of
his legs. It was during these rests and in those times after dinner had been eaten but before the fire had burned all the way down and they
went to sleep that the
gunslinger heard about Henry and Eddie. He remembered wondering what had happened to make their
brothering so difficult, but after Eddie had
begun, haltingly and with that sort of
resentful anger that proceeds from deep pain, the gunslinger could have stopped him, could have told
him: Don't bother, Eddie. I understand everything.
Except that wouldn't have
helped Eddie. Eddie wasn't talking to help
Henry because Henry was dead. He was talking to bury Henry for good.
And to remind himself that although Henry
was dead, he, Eddie, wasn't.
So the
gunslinger listened and said nothing.
The
gist was simple: Eddie believed he had stolen his brother's life. Henry also believed this. Henry might have believed it on his own or he might have believed
it because he so frequently heard their mother lecturing Eddie on how much both she and Henry had sacrificed for him,
so Eddie could be as safe as anyone
could be in this jungle of a city, so he could be happy, as happy as anyone could be in this jungle of a city,
so he wouldn't end up like his poor sister that he didn't even hardly remember but she had been so
beautiful, God love her. She was with the angels, and that was
undoubtedly a wonderful place to be, but she
didn't want Eddie to be with the angels
just yet, run over in the road by some crazy drunken driver like his sister or cut up by some crazy
junkie kid for the twenty-five cents
in his pocket and left with his guts running out all over the sidewalk, and because she didn't think Eddie wanted
to be with the angels yet, he just better listen to what his big brother said and do what his big brother
said to do and always remember that Henry was making a love-sacrifice.
Eddie
told the gunslinger he doubted if his mother knew some of the things they had done—filching
comic books from the candy store on Rincon Avenue or
smoking cigarettes behind the Bonded
Electroplate Factory on Cohoes Street.
Once they saw a Chevrolet
with the keys in it and although Henry barely knew how to drive—he was sixteen then, Eddie eight—he had crammed his brother into
the car and said they were going to
New York City. Eddie was scared, crying,
Henry scared too and mad at Eddie, telling him to shut up, telling him to stop being such a fuckin baby,
he had ten bucks and Eddie had three
or four, they could go to the movies all fuckin day and then catch a
Pelham train and be back before their
mother had time to put supper on the table and wonder where they were. But Eddie kept crying and near the Queensboro Bridge they saw a police car on a side
street and although Eddie was pretty
sure the cop in it hadn't even been looking
their way, he said Yeah when Henry asked him in a harsh,
quavering voice if Eddie thought that bull had seen them. Henry turned white and pulled over so fast that he had almost
amputated a fire hydrant. He was running down the block while Eddie, now in a panic himself, was still struggling with the unfamiliar doorhandle. Henry stopped,
came back, and hauled Eddie out of
the car. He also slapped him twice. Then
they had walked—well, actually they slunk—all the way back to Brooklyn. It took them most of the day,
and when their mother asked them why
they looked so hot and sweaty and tired
out, Henry said it was because he'd spent most of the day teaching Eddie how to go one-on-one on the
basketball court at the playground
around the block. Then some big kids came and they had to run. Their mother kissed Henry and beamed at Eddie. She asked him if he didn't have the
bestest big brother in the world.
Eddie agreed with her. This was honest agreement, too. He thought he did.
"He
was as scared as I was that day," Eddie told Roland as they sat and
watched the last of the day dwindle from the water, where soon the only light would be that reflected from the stars. "Scareder, really, because he thought
that cop saw us and I knew he
didn't. That's why he ran. But he came back. That's the important part. He came back."
Roland
said nothing.
"You
see that, don't you?" Eddie was looking at Roland with harsh, questioning eyes.
"I see."
"He
was always scared, but he always came back."
Roland thought it would have been
better for Eddie, maybe better for both of
them in the long run, if Henry had just
kept showing his heels that day. . . or on one of the others. But people like Henry never did. People like Henry
always came back, because people
like Henry knew how to use trust. It
was the only thing people like Henry did know how to use. First they changed trust into need, then they
changed need into a drug, and once
that was done, they—what was Eddie's word for it?—push. Yes. They pushed it.
"I think I'll turn
in," the gunslinger said.
The next day Eddie went on, but Roland already knew it all. Henry hadn't
played sports in high school because Henry couldn't stay after for practice. Henry had to take care of Eddie. The fact that Henry was scrawny and uncoordinated and didn't much care for sports in the first place
had nothing to do with it, of course;
Henry would have made a wonderful baseball pitcher or one of those basketball jumpers, their mother assured them both time and again. Henry's grades
were bad and he needed to repeat a
number of subjects—but that wasn't because
Henry was stupid; Eddie and Mrs. Dean both knew Henry was just as smart
as lickety-split. But Henry had to spend
the time he should have spent studying or doing homework taking care of Eddie (the fact that this
usually took place in the Dean
living room, with both boys sprawled on the sofa watching TV or
wrestling around on the floor somehow seemed
not to matter). The bad grades meant Henry hadn't been able to be
accepted into anything but NYU, and they couldn't
afford it because the bad grades precluded any scholarships, and then Henry got drafted and then it
was Viet Nam, where Henry got most
of his knee blown off, and the pain was bad, and the drug they gave him for it had a heavy morphine base, and when he was better they weaned him from
the drug, only they didn't do such a
good job because when Henry got back to New York there was still a
monkey on his back, a hungry monkey waiting
to be fed, and after a month or two he had
gone out to see a man, and it had been about four months later, less than a month after their mother died,
when Eddie first saw his brother
snorting some white powder off a mirror. Eddie assumed it was coke. Turned out it was heroin. And if you traced it all the way back, whose fault was
it?
Roland said nothing, but
heard the voice of Cort in his mind: Fault
always lies in the same place, my fine babies: with him weak
enough to lay blame.
When he
discovered the truth, Eddie had been shocked, then
angry. Henry had responded not by promising to quit snorting but by telling
Eddie he didn't blame him for being mad, he
knew Nam had turned him into a worthless shitbag, he was weak, he would leave,
that was the best thing, Eddie was
right, the last thing he needed was a filthy junkie around, messing up the place. He just hoped Eddie wouldn't
blame him too much. He had gotten
weak, he admitted it; something in
Nam had made him weak, had rotted him out the same way the moisture rotted the laces of your sneakers and
the elastic of your underwear. There was also something in Nam that apparently rotted out your heart, Henry told him
tearily. He just hoped that Eddie
would remember all the years he had tried
to be strong.
For
Eddie.
For
Mom.
So Henry
tried to leave. And Eddie, of course, couldn't let him. Eddie was consumed with guilt. Eddie had seen the scarred horror that had once been an unmarked leg,
a knee that was now more Teflon than
bone. They had a screaming match in
the hall, Henry standing there in an old pair of khakis with his packed duffle bag in one hand and purple rings
under his eyes, Eddie wearing nothing but a pair of yellowing jockey shorts, Henry saying you don't need me around,
Eddie, I'm poison to you and I know
it, and Eddie yelling back You ain't going
nowhere, get your ass back inside, and that's how it went until Mrs. McGursky came out of her place
and yelled Go or stay, it's
nothing to me, but you better decide one way or the other pretty quick
or I'm calling the police. Mrs. McGursky seemed
about to add a few more admonishments, but just then she saw that Eddie was wearing nothing but a pair
of skivvies. She added: And you're not decent, Eddie Dean! before
popping back inside. It was like watching a Jack-in-the-box in reverse. Eddie looked at Henry. Henry looked at
Eddie. Look like
Angel-Baby done put on a few pounds, Henry said in a low voice, and then they were howling with
laughter, holding onto each other and pounding each other and Henry came
back inside and about two weeks later Eddie
was snorting the stuff too and he
couldn't understand why the hell he had made such a big deal out of it, after all, it was only snorting, shit,
it got you off, and as Henry (who
Eddie would eventually come to think of as the great sage and eminent
junkie) said, in a world that was clearly
going to hell head-first, what was so low about getting high?
Time
passed. Eddie didn't say how much. The gunslinger didn't ask. He guessed that Eddie knew there
were a thousand excuses for getting
high but no reasons, and that he had kept his habit
pretty well under control. And that Henry had also managed to keep his under control. Not as well as Eddie, but enough to keep from coming completely unravelled.
Because whether or not Eddie understood
the truth (down deep Roland believed Eddie did), Henry must have: their
positions had reversed themselves. Now Eddie
held Henry's hand crossing streets.
The day
came when Eddie caught Henry not snorting but skin-popping. There had been another hysterical
argument, an almost exact repeat of the first one, except it had been in Henry's bedroom. It ended in almost exactly
the same way, with Henry
weeping and offering that implacable, inarguable defense that was utter surrender, utter admission: Eddie
was right, he wasn't fit to
live, not fit to eat garbage from the gutter. He would go. Eddie would never have to see him again. He
just hoped he would remember all the . . .
It
faded into a drone that wasn't much different from the rocky sound of the breaking waves as they trudged up the beach. Roland knew the story and said nothing. It
was Eddie who didn't know the story, an Eddie who was really
clearheaded for the first time in maybe ten
years or more. Eddie wasn't telling
the story to Roland; Eddie was finally telling the story to himself.
That was
all right. So far as the gunslinger could see, time was something they had a lot of. Talk was one
way to fill it.
Eddie
said he was haunted by Henry's knee, the twisted scar tissue up and down his leg (of course that was all
healed now, Henry barely even limped. . . except when he and Eddie were quarrelling; then the limp always
seemed to get worse); he was haunted by all the things Henry had given up for
him, and haunted by something much more pragmatic:
Henry wouldn't last out on the streets. He
would be like a rabbit let loose in
a jungle filled with tigers. On his own, Henry would wind up in jail or Bellevue before a week was
out.
So he begged, and Henry
finally did him the favor of consenting to
stick around, and six months after that Eddie also had a golden arm. From that moment things had begun to move in the steady and inevitable downward spiral
which had ended with Eddie's trip to
the Bahamas and Roland's sudden intervention in his life.
Another
man, less pragmatic and more introspective than Roland, might have asked (to himself, if not right out
loud), Why this one?
Why this man to start? Why a man who seems to promise weakness or strangeness or even outright doom?
Not only did the gunslinger
never ask the question; it never even
formulated itself in his mind. Cuthbert would have asked; Cuthbert had questioned everything, had been poisoned with
questions, had died with one in his mouth. Now they were gone, all gone. Cort's last gunslingers, the thirteen survivors
of a beginning class that had numbered fifty-six, were all dead. All dead but Roland. He was the last gunslinger, going steadily on in a world that had grown stale
and sterile and empty.
Thirteen,
he remembered Cort saying
on the day before the
Presentation Ceremonies. This is an evil number. And on the following day, for the first time in thirty years, Cort had not been present at the Ceremonies. His final
crop of pupils had gone to his cottage to first kneel at his feet,
presenting defenseless necks, then to rise
and receive his congratulatory kiss
and to allow him to load their guns for the first time. Nine weeks later, Cort was dead. Of poison, some said.
Two years after his death, the final
bloody civil war had begun. The red slaughter had reached the last
bastion of civilization, light, and sanity,
and had taken away what all of them had assumed was so strong with the casual ease of a wave taking a child's castle of sand.
So he was
the last, and perhaps he had survived because the dark romance in his nature was overset by his
practicality and
simplicity. He understood that only three things mattered: mortality, ka, and the Tower.
Those
were enough things to think about.
Eddie finished his tale
around four o'clock on the third day of
their northward journey up the featureless beach. The beach itself never seemed to change. If a sign of
progress was wanted, it could only be
obtained by looking left, to the east. There
the jagged peaks of the mountains had begun to soften and slump a bit.
It was possible that if they went north far enough, the mountains would become
rolling hills.
With his story told, Eddie
lapsed into silence and they walked without speaking for a half an hour or
longer. Eddie kept stealing little glances
at him. Roland knew Eddie wasn't aware
that he was picking these glances up; he was still too much in himself.
Roland also knew what Eddie was waiting for:
a response. Some kind of response. Any kind. Twice Eddie opened his mouth only to close it again.
Finally he asked what the
gunslinger had known he would ask.
"So?
What do you think?"
"I think you're
here."
Eddie stopped, fisted hands planted on his hips. "That's all? That's it?"
"That's all I
know," the gunslinger replied. His missing fingers and toe throbbed and itched. He wished for some of the astin from
Eddie's world.
"You don't have any
opinion on what the hell it all means?"
The gunslinger might have
held up his subtracted right hand and said,
Think about what this means, you silly idiot, but it no more crossed his mind to say this than
it had to ask why it was Eddie, out
of all the people in all the universes that might exist. "It's ka," he said, facing Eddie
patiently.
"What's
ka?" Eddie's voice was truculent. "I never heard of it. Except if you say it twice you come
out with the baby word for shit."
"I
don't know about that," the gunslinger said. "Here it means duty, or destiny, or, in the vulgate,
a place you must go."
Eddie
managed to look dismayed, disgusted, and amused all at the same time.
"Then say it twice, Roland, because words like that sound like shit to this kid."
The
gunslinger shrugged. "I don't discuss philosophy. I don't study history. All I know is what's
past is past, and what's ahead is ahead. The second is ka, and takes
care of itself."
"Yeah?"
Eddie looked northward. "Well all I see ahead is about nine billion miles of this same fucking
beach. If that's what's
ahead, ka and kaka are the same thing. We might have enough good shells to pop five or six more of
those lobster dudes, but then
we're going to be down to chucking rocks at them. So where are we going?"
Roland did
wonder briefly if this was a question Eddie had ever thought to ask his brother, but to ask such a
question would only be
an invitation to a lot of meaningless argument. So he only cocked a thumb northward and said,
"There. To begin with."
Eddie looked and saw nothing
but the same reach of shell- and rock-studded gray shingle. He looked back at Roland, about to scoff, saw the serene certainty
on his face, and looked again. He
squinted. He shielded the right side of his face from the westering sun with
his right hand. He wanted desperately
to see something, anything, shit, even a mirage would do, but there was
nothing.
"Crap
on me all you want to," Eddie said slowly, "but I say it's a goddam mean trick. I put my life
on the line for you at Balazar's."
"I know you did."
The gunslinger smiled—a rarity that lit his face like a momentary flash of
sunlight on a dismal luring day.
"That's why I've done nothing but square-deal you, Eddie. It's there. I saw it an hour ago. At
first I thought it was only a mirage or wishful thinking, but it's
there, all right."
Eddie
looked again, looked until water ran from the corners
of his eyes. At last he said, "I don't see anything up ahead but more beach. And I got twenty-twenty
vision."
"I don't know what that means."
"It
means if there was something there to see, I'd see it!" But Eddie wondered. Wondered how much further than his own the gunslinger's blue bullshooter's eyes
could see. Maybe a little.
Maybe a
lot.
"You'll see it,"
the gunslinger said.
"See what?"
"We
won't get there today, but if you see as well as you say, you'll see it before the sun hits the water.
Unless you just want to
stand here chin-jawing, that is."
"Ka,"
Eddie said in a musing
voice.
Roland nodded. "Ka."
"Kaka," Eddie said, and laughed. "Come on, Roland. Let's take a hike. And if I don't see
anything by the time the sun hits
the water, you owe me a chicken dinner. Or a Big Mac. Or anything that
isn't lobster."
"Come on."
They
started walking again, and it was at least a full hour before the sun's lower arc touched the
horizon when Eddie Dean
began to see the shape in tin- distance—vague, shimmering, indefinable, but definitely something.
Something new.
"Okay," he said.
"I see it. You must have eyes like Superman."
"Who?"
"Never
mind. You've got a really incredible case of culture lag, you know it?"
"What?"
Eddie
laughed. "Never mind. What is it?"
"You'll see." The
gunslinger started walking again before
Eddie could ask anything else.
Twenty
minutes later Eddie thought he did see. Fifteen minutes after that he was sure. The object on
the beach was still two,
maybe three miles away, but he knew what it was. A door, of course. Another
door.
Neither
of them slept well that night, and they were up and walking an hour before the sun cleared the eroding
shapes of the
mountains. They reached the door just as the morning sun's first rays, so sublime and so still,
broke over them. Those rays
lighted their stubbly cheeks like lamps. They made the gunslinger forty again,
and Eddie no older than Roland had been when he went out to fight Cort with his
hawk David as his weapon.
This
door was exactly like the first, except for what was writ upon it:
THE LADY OF SHADOWS
" So," Eddie said softly, looking at the door which simply stood here with its hinges grounded in some
unknown jamb between one
world and another, one universe and another. It stood with its graven message, real as rock and strange
as starlight.
"So,"
the gunslinger agreed.
"Ka."
"Ka."
"Here is where you draw
the second of your three?"
"It seems so."
The gunslinger knew what was
in Eddie's mind before Eddie knew it himself. He saw Eddie make his move before
Eddie knew he was moving. He could have
turned and broken Eddie's arm in two
places before Eddie knew it was happening, but he made no move. He let
Eddie snake the revolver from his right holster. It was the first time in his
life he had allowed one of his weapons to
be taken from him without an offer of
that weapon having first been made. Yet he made no move to stop it. He turned and looked at Eddie
equably, even mildly.
Eddie's
face was livid, strained. His eyes showed starey whites all the way around the irises. He held the heavy
revolver in both hands
and still the muzzle rambled from side to side, centering, moving off, centering again and then moving
off again.
"Open
it," he said.
"You're
being foolish," the gunslinger said in the same mild voice. "Neither of us has any idea
where that door goes. It needn't
open on your universe, let alone upon your world. For all either of us know, the Lady of Shadows
might have eight eyes and nine
arms, like Suvia. Even if it does open on your world, it might be on a time long before you were born or
long after you would have
died."
Eddie smiled tightly. "Tell
you what, Monty: I'm more than willing to
trade the rubber chicken and the shitty seaside vacation for what's behind Door #2."
"I
don't understand y—"
"I know you don't. It
doesn't matter. Just open the fucker."
The
gunslinger shook his head.
They stood in the dawn, the
door casting its slanted shadow toward the
ebbing sea.
"Open it!" Eddie
cried. "I'm going with you! Don't you get it? I'm going with you!
That doesn't mean I won't come back. Maybe
I will. I mean, probably I will. I guess I owe you that much. You
been square-John with me down the line, don't think I'm not aware of the fact.
But while you get whoever this Shadow-Babe is, I'm gonna find the nearest Chicken Delight and pick me up some take-out. I
think the Thirty-Piece Family Pak should
do for starters."
"You
stay here."
"You
think I don't mean it?" Eddie was shrill now, close to the edge. The gunslinger could almost see him looking down into
the drifty depths of his own damnation. Eddie thumbed
back the revolver's ancient hammer. The wind had fallen with the break of the day and the ebb of the tide, and the click of the hammer as Eddie brought it to full
cock was very clear. "You just
try me."
"I think I will,"
the gunslinger said.
"I'll
shoot you!" Eddie screamed.
"Ka,"
the gunslinger replied
stolidly, and turned to the door. He
was reaching for the knob, but his heart was waiting: waiting to see if he would live or die.
Ka.
CHAPTER 1
DETTA AND ODETTA
Stripped
of jargon, what Adler said was this: the perfect schizophrenic—if there was such a person—would be a man or woman
not only unaware of his other persona(e), but one unaware that anything at all
was amiss in his or her life.
Adler
should have met Delta Walker and Odetta Holmes.
1
"—last gunslinger," Andrew said.
He had
been talking for quite awhile, but Andrew always talked and Odetta usually just let it flow over her mind
the way you let warm
water flow over your hair and face in the shower. But this did more than catch her attention;
it snagged it, as if on a
thorn.
"I
beg pardon?"
"Oh,
it was just some column in the paper," Andrew said. "I dunno who wrote it. I didn't notice.
One of those political fellas.
Prob'ly you'd know, Miz Holmes. I loved him, and I cried the night he was elected—"
She
smiled, touched in spite of herself. Andrew said his ceaseless chatter was something he couldn't
stop, wasn't responsible
for, that it was just the Irish in him coming out, and most of it was nothing—duckings and
chirrupings about relatives and
friends she would never meet, half-baked political opinions, weird scientific commentary gleaned from
any number of weird sources
(among other things, Andrew was a firm believer in flying saucers, which he
called you-foes)—but this touched her because she had also cried the
night he was elected.
"But I didn't cry when
that son of a bitch—pardon my French, Miz Holmes—when that son of a bitch Oswald
shot him, and I hadn't cried since, and it's been—what, two months?"
Three months and two days, she thought.
"Something
like that, I guess."
Andrew
nodded. "Then I read this column—in The Daily News, it mighta been—yesterday, about how Johnson's probably gonna do a pretty good job, but it won't
be the same. The guy said America had seen the
passage of the world's last gunslinger."
"I
don't think John Kennedy was that at all," Odetta said, and if her voice was sharper than the one
Andrew was accustomed to
hearing (which it must have been, because she saw his eyes give a startled blink in the
rear-view mirror, a blink that was more like a wince), it was because she felt
herself touched by
this, too. It was absurd, but it was also a fact. There was something about that phrase—America
has seen the passage of
the world's last gunslinger—that rang deeply in her mind. It was ugly, it was untrue—John Kennedy had been a peacemaker, not a leather-slapping Billy the
Kid type, that was more in
the Goldwater line—but it had also for some reason given her goosebumps.
"Well,
the guy said there would be no shortage of shooters in the world," Andrew went on, regarding
her nervously in the rear-view mirror. "He
mentioned Jack Ruby for one, and Castro, and this fellow in Haiti—"
"Duvalier," she
said. "Poppa Doc."
"Yeah, him, and
Diem—"
"The
Diem brothers are dead."
"Well,
he said Jack Kennedy was different, that's all. He said he would draw, but only if someone
weaker needed him to draw, and only if there was
nothing else to do. He said Kennedy was
savvy enough to know that sometimes talking don't do no good. He said Kennedy knew if it's foaming at the mouth
you have to shoot it."
His
eyes continued to regard her apprehensively.
"Besides,
it was just some column I read."
The limo was gliding up Fifth
Avenue now, headed toward Central Park West,
the Cadillac emblem on the end of the
hood cutting the frigid February air.
"Yes,"
Odetta said mildly, and Andrew's eyes relaxed a trifle.
"I understand. I don't agree, but I understand."
You are
a liar; a voice spoke
up in her mind. This was a voice
she heard quite often. She had even named it. It was the voice of The Goad. You understand
perfectly and agree completely. Lie to Andrew if you
feel it necessary, but for God's sake don't lie to yourself, woman.
Yet part
of her protested, horrified. In a world which had become a nuclear powder keg upon which nearly a billion people now
sat, it was a mistake—perhaps one of suicidal proportions—to
believe there was a difference between good shooters and bad shooters. There were too many shaky hands holding
lighters near too many fuses. This was no world for gunslingers. If there had
ever been a time for them, it had passed.
Hadn't
it?
She
closed her eyes briefly and rubbed at her temples. She could feel one of her headaches coming on.
Sometimes they threatened,
like an ominous buildup of thunderheads on a hot summer
afternoon, and then blew away ... as
those ugly summer brews sometimes simply
slipped away in one direction or
another, to stomp their thunders and lightnings into the ground of some other place.
She
thought, however, that this time the storm was going to happen. It would come complete with
thunder, lightning, and
hail the size of golf-balls.
The
streetlights marching up Fifth Avenue seemed much too bright.
"So how was Oxford, Miz
Holmes?" Andrew asked tentatively.
"Humid. February or not,
it was very humid." She paused, telling
herself she wouldn't say the words that were crowding up her throat like bile, that she would swallow them back down. To say them would be needlessly
brutal. Andrew's talk of the world's
last gunslinger had been just more of the man's endless prattling. But on top of everything else it was just a bit too much and it came out anyway, what
she had no business saying. Her voice
sounded as calm and as resolute as ever,
she supposed, but she was not fooled: she knew a blurt when she heard one. "The bail bondsman came
very promptly, of course; he had
been notified in advance. They held onto us as long as they could nevertheless, and I held on as long as I could,
but I guess they won that one, because I ended up wetting myself.'' She saw Andrew's eyes wince away again and she wanted to stop and couldn't stop. "It's
what they want to teach you, you
see. Partly because it frightens you, I suppose, and a frightened person may not come down to their precious Southland and bother them again. But I think most
of them— even the dumb ones and they
are by all means not all dumb— know
the change will come in the end no matter what they do, and so they take the chance to degrade you while
they still can. To teach you you can
be degraded. You can swear before God, Christ, and the whole company
of Saints that you will not, will not, will not
soil yourself, but if they hold
onto you long enough of course you
do. The lesson is that you're just an animal
in a cage, no more than that, no better than that. Just an animal in a cage. So I wet myself. I can still
smell dried urine and that damned
holding cell. They think we are descended
from the monkeys, you know. And that's exactly what I smell like to myself right now.
"A
monkey."
She saw
Andrew's eyes in the rear-view mirror and was sorry for the way his eyes looked. Sometimes your urine
wasn't the only thing
you couldn't hold.
"I'm
sorry, Miz Holmes."
"No,"
she said, rubbing at her temples again. "I am the one who is sorry. It's been a trying three
days, Andrew."
"I should think so,"
he said in a shocked old-maidish voice
that made her laugh in spite of herself. But most of her wasn't laughing. She thought she had known what
she was getting into, that she had
fully anticipated how bad it could get.
She had been wrong.
A trying three days. Well, that was one way to put it. Another might be that her three days in Oxford, Mississippi had been a short season in hell. But there were
some things you couldn't say. Some
things you would die before saying . . .unless you were called upon to
testify to them before the Throne of God
the Father Almighty, where, she supposed, even the truths that caused the hellish thunderstorms in that strange
gray jelly between your ears (the scientists said that gray jelly was nerveless, and if that wasn't
a hoot and a half she didn't know
what was) must be admitted.
"I just want to get home
and bathe, bathe, bathe, and sleep, sleep,
sleep. Then I reckon I will be as right as rain."
"Why,
sure! That's just what you're going to be!" Andrew wanted to apologize for something, and this
was as close as he could come. And beyond this
he didn't want to risk further conversation.
So the two of them rode in unaccustomed silence to the gray Victorian
block of apartments on the corner of Fifth
and Central Park South, a very exclusive gray Victorian block of apartments, and she supposed that made
her a blockbuster, and she knew there
were people in those poshy-poshy flats
who would not speak to her unless they absolutely had to, and she didn't really care. Besides, she was above
them, and they knew she was
above them. It had occurred to her on more than one occasion that it
must have galled some of them mightily,
knowing there was a nigger living in the penthouse apartment of this fine staid
old building where once the only black
hands allowed had been clad in white gloves or perhaps the thin black leather
ones of a chauffeur. She hoped it did gall them mightily, and scolded herself for being mean,
for being unchristian, but she did wish it, she hadn't been able
to stop the piss pouring into the crotch of her fine silk imported underwear and she didn't seem to be able to stop
this other flood of piss, either. It was mean, it was unchristian, and almost as bad—no, worse, at least as far as
the Movement was concerned, it was
counterproductive. They were going to win the rights they needed to win, and probably this year: Johnson, mindful
of the legacy which had been left him by the slain President (and perhaps
hoping to put another nail in the coffin of
Barry Goldwater), would do more than oversee the passage of the Civil Rights Act; if necessary he would ram it into law. So it was important to minimize the
scarring and the hurt. There was
more work to be done. Hate would not help do that work. Hate would, in
fact, hinder it.
But
sometimes you went on hating just the same. Oxford Town had taught her that, too.
2
Delta
Walker had absolutely no interest in the Movement and much more modest digs. She lived in the
loft of a peeling Greenwich Village apartment
building. Odetta didn't know about the loft
and Detta didn't know about the penthouse and the only one left who suspected something was not quite right was Andrew Feeny, the chauffeur. He had begun
working for Odetta's father when
Odetta was fourteen and Detta Walker hardly
existed at all.
Sometimes
Odetta disappeared. These disappearances might be a matter of hours or of days. Last summer she had disappeared for three weeks and Andrew had
been ready to call the
police when Odetta called him one evening and asked him to bring the car
around at ten the next day—she planned to do some shopping, she said.
It
trembled on his lips to cry out Miz Holmes! Where have you been? But he had asked this before and had received only puzzled stares—truly puzzled stares,
he was sure—in return. Right here, she would say. Why, right here, Andrew—you've been driving me
two or three places every day, haven't you? You aren't starting to go a little
mushy in the head, are you? Then she
would laugh and if she was feeling especially good (as she often seemed to feel after her
disappearances), she would pinch his cheek.
"Very good, Miz
Holmes," he had said. "Ten it is."
That scary time she had been
gone for three weeks, Andrew had put down
the phone, closed his eyes, and said a quick prayer to the Blessed
Virgin for Miz Holmes's safe return. Then he had rung Howard, the doorman at
her building.
"What
time did she come in?"
"Just
about twenty minutes ago," Howard said.
"Who brought her?"
"Dunno. You know how it
is. Different car every time. Sometimes they
park around the block and I don't see em at all, don't even know she's back until I hear the buzzer and look out and see it's her." Howard paused, then
added: "She's got one hell of a
bruise on her cheek."
Howard had been right. It
sure had been one hell of a bruise, and now it was getting better. Andrew
didn't like to think what it might have looked like when it was fresh. Miz Holmes appeared promptly at ten the next morning,
wearing a silk sundress with
spaghetti-thin straps (this had been late July), and by then the bruise had started to yellow. She had made only a perfunctory effort to cover it with
make-up, as if knowing that too much effort to cover it would only draw
further attention to it.
"How
did you get that, Miz Holmes?" he asked.
She
laughed merrily. "You know me, Andrew—clumsy as ever. My hand slipped on the grab-handle
while I was getting out of
the tub yesterday—I was in a hurry to catch the national news. I fell and banged the side of my
face." She gauged his face.
"You're getting ready to start blithering about doctors and examinations, aren't you? Don't bother
answering; after all these years I can read you like a book. I won't go, so you
needn't bother asking. I'm just as fine as paint. Onward, Andrew! I intend to buy half of Saks', all of
Gimbels, and eat everything at Four
Seasons in between."
"Yes, Miz Holmes,"
he had said, and smiled. It was a forced
smile, and forcing it was not easy. That bruise wasn't a day old;
it was a week old, at least . . . and he knew better, anyway, didn't he?
He had called her every night at seven o'clock
for the last week, because if there was one time when you could catch
Miz Holmes in her place, it was when the Huntley-Brinkley Report came on. A
regular junkie for her news was Miz Holmes.
He had done it every night, that was, except
last night. Then he had gone over and wheedled the passkey from Howard. A conviction had been growing
on him steadily that she had had just the sort of accident she had described. . . only instead of getting a bruise
or a broken bone, she had died, died
alone, and was lying up there dead right now. He had let himself in, heart thumping, feeling like a cat in a dark room criss-crossed with piano wires.
Only there had been nothing to be
nervous about. There was a butter-dish on the kitchen counter, and although the
butter had been covered it had been out long enough to be growing a good
crop of mould. He got there at ten minutes
of seven and had left by five after.
In the course of his quick examination of the apartment, he had glanced into the bathroom. The tub had
been dry, the towels neatly—even austerely—arrayed, the room's many grab-handles polished to a bright steel gleam that
was unspotted with water.
He knew the accident she had
described had not happened.
But
Andrew had not believed she was lying, either. She had believed what she had told him.
He looked in the rear-view
mirror again and saw her rubbing her temples lightly with the tips of her
fingers. He didn't like it. He had seen her
do that too many times before one of
her disappearances.
3
Andrew left the motor running
so she could have the benefit of the heater,
then went around to the trunk. He looked at her two suitcases with
another wince. They looked as if petulant
men with small minds and large bodies had kicked them relentlessly back and forth, damaging the bags in a way they did
not quite dare damage Miz Holmes herself—the way they might have damaged him, for instance, if he had been there. It wasn't just that she was a woman; she
was a nigger, an uppity northern
nigger messing where she had no business messing, and they probably
figured a woman like that deserved just
what she got. Thing was, she was also a rich nigger. Thing was,
she was almost as well-known to the American public as Medgar Evers or Martin
Luther King. Thing was, she'd gotten her
rich nigger face on the cover of Time magazine and it was a
little harder to get away with sticking someone like that in the 'toolies and
then saying What? No sir, boss, we sho dint see nobody looked like that down here, did we, boys? Thing was, it was a little harder to work yourself up to hurting a woman who was the
only heir to Holmes Dental Industries when there were twelve Holmes plants in the sunny South, one of them just one
county over from Oxford Town, Oxford
Town.
So
they'd done to her suitcases what they didn't dare do to her.
He
looked at these mute indications of her stay in Oxford Town with shame and fury
and love, emotions as mute as the scars on the luggage that had gone away looking smart and had come back looking dumb and thumped. He
looked, temporarily unable to move, and his
breath puffed out on the frosty air.
Howard was coming out to
help, but Andrew paused a moment longer
before grasping the handles of the cases. Who are you, Miz
Holmes? Who are you really? Where do you go sometimes, and what do you do that
seems so bad that you have to make up a false history of the missing hours or
days even to yourself? And he thought something else in the moment before
Howard arrived, something weirdly apt: Where's
the rest of you?
You want to quit thinking
like that. If anyone around here was going to do any thinking like that it
would be Miz Holmes, but she doesn't and so
you don't need to, either.
Andrew
lifted the bags out of the trunk and handed them to Howard, who asked in a low voice: "Is she all
right?"
"I
think so," Andrew replied, also pitching his voice low. "Just tired is all. Tired all the way down to her
roots."
Howard
nodded, took the battered suitcases, and started back
inside. He paused only long enough to tip his cap to Odetta Holmes—who was almost invisible behind the smoked glass windows—in a soft and respectful salute.
When he
was gone, Andrew took out the collapsed stainless steel scaffolding at the bottom of the trunk and
began to unfold it. It
was a wheelchair.
Since
August 19th, 1959, some five and a half years before, the part of Odetta Holmes from the knees
down had been as missing as
those blank hours and days.
4
Before the subway incident, Delta Walker had had only been
conscious a few times—those were like coral islands which look isolated to one above them but are, in fact, only nodes
in the spine of a long archipelago which is mostly underwater. Odetta suspected Detta not at all, and Detta had no idea that there was such a person as Odetta. .
. but Detta at least had a clear
understanding that something was wrong, that someone was fucking with her life. Odetta's imagination novelized all sorts of things which had happened
when Detta was in charge of her body;
Detta was not so clever. She thought she remembered things, some things, at least, but a lot of the time she didn't.
Detta
was at least partially aware of the blanks.
She
could remember the china plate. She could remember that. She could remember slipping it into the pocket of her dress, looking over her shoulder all the while to
make sure the Blue Woman wasn't there, peeking. She had to make sure because the china plate belonged to the Blue
Woman. The china plate was, Detta
understood in some vague way, a for-special. Detta took it
for that why. Detta remembered taking it to a place she knew (although she didn't know how she knew) as The
Drawers, a smoking trash-littered hole in the earth where she had once seen a burning baby with plastic skin. She remembered putting the plate carefully down on
the gravelly ground and then starting to step on it and stopping, remembered
taking off her plain cotton panties and putting them into the pocket where the plate had been, and then carefully slipping
the first finger of her left hand carefully against the cut in her at the place where Old Stupid God had joined her and
all other girls and women imperfectly, but something about that place must be right, because she
remembered the jolt, remembered
wanting to press, remembered not pressing, remembered how delicious her vagina
had been naked, without the cotton
panties in the way of it and the world, and she had not pressed, not until her shoe pressed, her black patent leather shoe, not until her shoe pressed down on
the plate, then she pressed on the cut with her finger the way
she was pressing on the Blue Woman's forspecial
china plate with her foot, she
remembered the way the black patent leather shoe covered the delicate blue webbing on the edge of the plate, she remembered the press, yes, she remembered
pressing in The Drawers, pressing
with finger and foot, remembered the delicious promise of finger and cut, remembered that when the plate snapped
with a bitter brittle snap a similar brittle pleasure had skewered upward from that cut into her
guts like an arrow, she remembered
the cry which had broken from her lips,
an unpleasant cawing like the sound of a crow scared up from a
cornpatch, she could remember staring dully at the fragments of the plate and then taking the plain white cotton panties slowly out of her dress pocket and
putting them on again, step-ins, so
she had heard them called in some time unhoused
in memory and drifting loose like turves on a flood-tide, step-ins, good, because first you
stepped out to do your business and
then you stepped back in, first one shiny patent leather shoe and then the other, good, panties were good, she could remember drawing them up her legs so
clearly, drawing them past her
knees, a scab on the left one almost ready to fall off and leave clean
pink new babyskin, yes, she could remember
so clearly it might not have been a week ago or yesterday but only one single moment ago, she could remember how the waistband had reached the hem of her
party dress, the clear contrast of white cotton against brown skin, like
cream, yes, like that, cream from a pitcher
caught suspended over coffee, the
texture, the panties disappearing under the hem of the dress, except then the dress was burnt orange and the
panties were not going up but down but they were still white but not cotton,
they were nylon, cheap see-through nylon
panties, cheap in more ways than one, and she remembered stepping out of them, she remembered how
they glimmered on the floormat of
the '46 Dodge DeSoto, yes, how white they
were, how cheap they were, not anything dignified like underwear but cheap
panties, the girl was cheap and it was good
to be cheap, good to be on sale, to be on the block not even like a whore but like a good breedsow; she
remembered no round china plate but
the round white face of a boy, some surprised
drunk fraternity boy, he was no china plate but his face was as round as the Blue Woman's
china plate had been, and there was
webbing on his cheeks, and this webbing looked as blue as the webbing on the Blue Woman's forspecial china plate had been, but that was only because the neon
was red, the neon was garish, in the
dark the neon from the roadhouse sign made
the spreading blood from the places on his cheeks where she had clawed him look blue, and he had
said Why did you why did
you why did you do, and then he
unrolled the window so he could get
his face outside to puke and she remembered hearing Dodie Stevens on the
jukebox, singing about tan shoes with pink shoelaces and a big Panama with a
purple hatband, she remembered the sound of
his puking was like gravel in a cement mixer, and his penis, which
moments before had been a livid exclamation point rising from the tufted tangle
of his pubic hair, was collapsing into a weak white question mark; she
remembered the hoarse gravel sounds of his
vomiting stopped and then started again and she thought Well I guess he ain't made enough to lay this foundation
yet and laughing and pressing her finger (which now came equipped with a
long shaped nail) against her vagina which
was bare but no longer bare because it was overgrown with its own coarse briared tangle, and there had
been the same brittle breaking snap
inside her, and it was still as much pain as it was pleasure (but
better, far better, than nothing at all)/ and
then he was grabbing blindly for her and saying in a hurt breaking tone Oh
you goddamned nigger cunt and she went on
laughing just the same, dodging him easily and snatching up her panties
and opening the door on her side of the car, feeling the last blind thud of his
fingers on the back of her blouse as she
ran into a May night that was redolent of early honeysuckle, red-pink
neon light stuttering off the gravel of some
postwar parking lot, stuffing her panties, her cheap slick nylon panties not into the pocket of her dress but
into a purse jumbled with a
teenager's cheerful conglomeration of cosmetics, she was running, the light was stuttering, and then she was twenty-three and it was not panties but a rayon
scarf, and she was casually slipping
it into her purse as she walked along a counter in the Nice Notions section of
Macy's—a scarf which sold at that
time for $1.99. Cheap.
Cheap like the white nylon panties.
Cheap.
Like her.
The body she inhabited was that of a woman
who had inherited millions, but that was not
known and didn't matter—the scarf was white,
the edging blue, and there was that
same little breaking sense of pleasure as she sat in the back seat of the taxi, and, oblivious of the driver,
held the scarf in one hand, looking at it fixedly, while her other hand crept
up under her tweed skirt and beneath
the leg-band of her white panties,
and that one long dark finger took care of the business that needed to be taken care of in a single
merciless stroke.
So sometimes she wondered, in a distracted
sort of way, where she was
when she wasn't here, but mostly her needs were too sudden and pressing for any extended
contemplation, and she simply fulfilled what
needed to be fulfilled, did what needed to
be done.
Roland would have understood.
5
Odetta could have taken a limo everywhere, even in 1959—although her father was still alive and she
was not as fabulously rich as she
would become when he died in 1962, the money held in trust for her had
become hers on her twenty-fifth birthday,
and she could do pretty much as she liked. But she cared very little for a phrase one of the conservative columnists had coined a year or two before—the phrase
was "limosine liberal,'' and
she was young enough not to want to be seen as one even if she really was one. Not young enough (or stupid enough!)
to believe that a few pairs of faded jeans and the khaki shirts she habitually wore in any real way changed her essential
status, or riding the bus or the subway when she could have used the car (but she had been self-involved enough not to
see Andrew's hurt and deep puzzlement; he liked her and thought it must be some sort of personal
rejection), but young enough to
still believe that gesture could sometimes overcome (or at least overset) truth.
On the night of August 19th, 1959, she paid
for the gesture with half her legs ... and half her
mind.
6
Odetta had
been first tugged, then pulled, and finally caught up in the swell which would
eventually turn into a tidal wave. In 1957, when she became involved, the thing
which eventually became known as the Movement had no name. She knew some of the
background, knew the struggle for equality had gone on not since the
Emancipation Proclamation but almost since the first boatload of slaves had
been brought to America (to Georgia, in fact, the colony the British founded to
get rid of their criminals and debtors), but for Odetta it always seemed to
begin in the same place, with the same three words: I'm not movin.
The place
had been a city bus in Montgomery, Alabama, and the words had been spoken by a
black woman named Rosa Lee Parks, and the place from which Rosa Lee Parks was
not movin was from the front of the city bus to the back of the city bus, which
was, of course, the Jim Crow part of the city bus. Much later, Odetta would
sing "We Shall Not Be Moved" with the rest of them, and it always
made her think of Rosa Lee Parks, and she never sang it without a sense of
shame. It was so easy to sing we with your arms linked to the arms of a
whole crowd; that was easy even for a woman with no legs. So easy to sing we, so
easy to be we. There had been no we on that bus, that bus that
must have stank of ancient leather and years of cigar and cigarette smoke, that
bus with the curved ad cards saying things like LUCKY STRIKE L.S.M.F.T. and
ATTEND THE CHURCH OF YOUR CHOICE FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE and DRINK OVALTINE! YOU'LL
SEE WHAT WE MEAN! and CHESTERFIELD, TWENTY-ONE GREAT TOBACCOS MAKE TWENTY
WONDERFUL SMOKES, no we under the disbelieving gazes of the motorman,
the white passengers among whom she sat, the equally disbelieving stares of the
blacks at the back.
No we.
No
marching thousands.
Only Rosa
Lee Parks starting a tidal wave with three words: I'm not movin.
Odetta
would think If I could do something like that—if I could be t hat brave—I
think I could be happy for the rest of my life. But that sort of courage is not
in me.
She had
read of the Parks incident, but with little interest at first. That came little
by little. It was hard to say exactly when or how her imagination had been
caught and fired by that at first almost soundless racequake which had begun to
shake the south.
A year or
so later a young man she was dating more or less regularly began taking her
down to the Village, where some of the young (and mostly white) folk-singers
who performed there had added some new and startling songs to their
repetoire—suddenly, in addition to all those old wheezes about how John Henry
had taken his hammer and outraced the new steam-hammer (killing himself in the
process, lawd, lawd) and how Bar'bry Alien had cruelly rejected her lovesick
young suitor (and ended up dying of shame, lawd, lawd), there were songs about
how it felt to be down and out and ignored in the city, how it felt to be
turned away from a job you could do because your skin was the wrong color, how
it felt to be taken into a jail cell and whipped by Mr. Charlie because your
skin was dark and you had dared, lawd, lawd, to sit in the white folks' section
of the lunch-counter at an F.W. Woolworths' in Montgomery, Alabama.
Absurdly
or not, it was only then that she had become curious about her own parents, and
their parents, and their parents before them. She would never
read Roots—she was in another world and time long before that book was
written, perhaps even thought of, by Alex Haley, but it was at this absurdly
late time in her life when it first dawned upon her that not so many
generations back her progenitors had been taken in chains by white men. Surely
the fact had occurred to her before, but only as a piece of information
with no real temperature gradient, like an equation, never as something which
bore intimately upon her own life.
Odetta
totted up what she knew, and was appalled by the smallness of the sum. She knew
her mother had been born in Odetta, Arkansas, the town for which she (the only
child) had been named. She knew her father had been a small-town dentist who
had invented and patented a capping process which had lain dormant and
unremarked for ten years and which had then, suddenly, made him a moderately
wealthy man. She knew that he had developed a number of other dental processes
during the ten years before and the four years after the influx of wealth, most
of them either orthodontic or cosmetic in nature, and that, shortly after
moving to New York with his wife and daughter (who had been born four years
after the original patent had been secured), he had founded a company called
Holmes Dental Industries, which was now to teeth what Squibb was to
antibiotics.
But when
she asked him what life had been like during all the years between—the years
when she hadn't been there-, and the years when she had, her father wouldn't
tell her. He would say all sorts of things, but he wouldn't tell her
anything. He closed that part of himself off to her. Once her ma, Alice—he
called her ma or sometimes Allie if he'd had a few or was feeling good—said,
"Tell her about the time those men shot at you when you drove the Ford
through the covered bridge, Dan," and he gave Odetta's ma such a gray and
forbidding look that her ma, always something of a sparrow, had shrunk back in
her seat and said no more.
Odetta had
tried her mother once or twice alone after that night, but to no avail. If she
had tried before, she might have gotten something, but because he wouldn't
speak, she wouldn't speak either—and to him, she realized, the past—those
relatives, those red dirt roads, those stores, those dirt floor cabins with
glassless windows ungraced by a single simple curtsey of a curtain, those
incidents of hurt and harassment, those neighbor children who went dressed in
smocks which had begun life as flour sacks—all of that was for him buried away
like dead teeth beneath perfect blinding white caps. He would not speak,
perhaps could not, had perhaps willingly afflicted himself with a
selective amnesia; the capped teeth was their life in the Greymarl Apartments
on Central Park South. All else was hidden beneath that impervious outer cover.
His past was so well-protected that there had been no gap to slide through, no
way past that perfect capped barrier and into the throat of revelation.
Delta knew things, but Delta didn't know Odetta and Odetta didn't know
Delta, and so the teeth lay as smooth and closed as a redan gate there, also.
She had
some of her mother's shyness in her as well as her father's unblinking (if
unspoken) toughness, and the only time she had dared pursue him further on the
subject, to suggest that what he was denying her was a deserved trust fund
never promised and apparenily never to mature, had been one night in his
library. He had shaken his Wall Street Journal carefully, closed it,
folded it, and laid it aside on the deal table beside the standing lamp. He had
removed his rimless steel spectacles and had laid them on top of the paper.
Then he had looked at her, a thin black man, thin almost to the point of
emaciation, tightly kinked gray hair now drawing rapidly away from the
deepening hollows of his temples where tender clocksprings of veins pulsed
steadily, and he had said only, I don't talk about that part of my
life, Odetta, or think about it. It would be pointless. The world had moved on
since then.
Roland
would have understood.
7
When
Roland opened the door with the words THE LADY OF THE SHADOWS written upon it,
he saw things he did not understand at all—but he understood they didn't
matter.
It was
Eddie Dean's world, but beyond that it was only a confusion of lights, people
and objects—more objects than he had ever seen in his life. Lady-things, from
the look of them, and apparently for sale. Some under glass, some arranged in
tempting piles and displays. None it mattered any more than the movement as
that world flowed past the edges of the doorway before them. The doorway was
the Lady's eyes. He was looking through them just as he had looked through
Eddie's eyes when Eddie had moved up the aisle of the sky-carriage.
Eddie, on
the other hand, was thunderstruck. The revolver in his hand trembled and
dropped a little. The gunslinger could have taken it from him easily but did
not. He only stood quietly. It was a trick he had learned a long time ago.
Now the
view through the doorway made one of those turns the gunslinger found so
dizzying—but Eddie found this same abrupt swoop oddly comforting. Roland had
never seen a movie. Eddie had seen thousands, and what he was looking at was
like one of those moving point-of-view shots they did in ones like Halloween
and The Shining. He even knew what they called the gadget they did
it with. Steadi-Cam. That was it.
"Star
Wars, too," he muttered. "Death
Star. That fuckin crack, remember?"
Roland
looked at him and said nothing.
Hands—dark
brown hands—entered what Roland saw as a doorway and what Eddie was already
starting to think of as some sort of magic movie screen ... a movie screen which,
under the right circumstances, you might be able to walk into the way that guy
had just walked out of the screen and into the real world in The
Purple Rose of Cairo. Bitchin movie.
Eddie
hadn't realized how bitchin until just now.
Except
that movie hadn't been made yet on the other side of the door he was looking
through. It was New York, okay— somehow the very sound of the taxi-cab horns,
as mute and faint as they were—proclaimed that—and it was some New York
department store he had been in at one time or another, but it was . . . was .
. .
"It's
older," he muttered.
"Before
your when?" the gunslinger asked.
Eddie
looked at him and laughed shortly. "Yeah. If you want to put it that way,
yeah."
"Hello,
Miss Walker," a tentative voice said. The view in the doorway rose so
suddenly that even Eddie was a bit dizzied and he saw a saleswoman who
obviously knew the owner of the black hands—knew her and either didn't like her
or feared her. Or both. "Help you today?"
"This
one." The owner of the black hands held up a white scarf with a bright
blue edge. "Don't bother to wrap it up, babe, just stick it in a
bag."
"Cash
or ch—"
"Cash,
it's always cash, isn't it?"
"Yes,
that's fine, Miss Walker."
"I'm
so glad you approve, dear."
There was
a little grimace on the salesgirl's face—Eddie just caught it as she turned
away. Maybe it was something as simple as being talked to that way by a woman
the salesgirl considered an "uppity nigger" (again it was more his
experience in movie theaters than any knowledge of history or even life on the
streets as he had lived it that caused this thought, because this was like
watching a movie either set or made in the '60s, something like that one with
Sidney Steiger and Rod Poitier, In the Heat of the Night), but it could
also be something even simpler: Roland's Lady of the Shadows was, black or
white, one rude bitch.
And it
didn't really matter, did it? None of it made a damned bit of difference. He
cared about one thing and one thing only and that was getting the fuck out.
That was
New York, he could almost smell New York.
And New
York meant smack.
He could
almost smell that, too.
Except
there was a hitch, wasn't there?
One big
motherfucker of a hitch.
8
Roland
watched Eddie carefully, and although he could have killed him six times over
at almost any time he wanted, he had elected to remain still and silent and let
Eddie work the situation out for himself. Eddie was a lot of things, and a lot
of them were not nice (as a fellow who had consciously let a child drop to his
death, the gunslinger knew the difference between nice and not quite well), but
one thing Eddie wasn't was stupid.
He was a
smart kid.
He would
figure it out.
So he did.
He looked
back at Roland, smiled without showing his teeth, twirled the gunslinger's
revolver once on his finger, clumsily, burlesquing a show-shooter's fancy coda,
and then he held it out to Roland, butt first.
"This
thing might as well be a piece of shit for all the good it can do me, isn't
that right?"
You can
talk bright when you want to, Roland
thought. Why do you so often choose to talk stupid, Eddie? Is it because you
think that's the way they talked in the place where your brother went with his
guns?
"Isn't
that right?" Eddie repeated.
Roland
nodded.
"If I
had plugged you, what would have happened to that door?"
"I
don't know. I suppose the only way to find out would be to try it and
see."
"Well,
what do you think would happen?"
"I
think it would disappear."
Eddie
nodded. That was what he thought, too. Poof! Gone like magic! Now ya see it, my
friends, now ya don't. It was really no different than what would happen if the
projectionist in a movie-theater were to draw a six-shooter and plug the
projector, was it?
If you
shot the projector, the movie stopped.
Eddie
didn't want the picture to stop.
Eddie
wanted his money's worth.
"You
can go through by yourself," Eddie said slowly.
"Yes."
"Sort
of."
"Yes."
"You
wind up in her head. Like you wound up in mine.''
"Yes."
"So
you can hitchhike into my world, but that's all."
Roland
said nothing. Hitchhike was one of the words Eddie sometimes used that
he didn't exactly understand . . . but he caught the drift.
"But
you could go through in your body. Like at Balazar's." He was
talking out loud but really talking to himself. "Except you'd need me for
that, wouldn't you?"
"Yes."
"Then
take me with you."
The
gunslinger opened his mouth, but Eddie was already rushing on.
"Not
now, I don't mean now," he said. "I know it would cause a riot or
some goddam thing if we just. . . popped out over there." He laughed
rather wildly. "Like a magician pulling rabbits out of a hat, except
without any hat, sure I did. We'll wait until she's alone, and—"
"No."
"I'll
come back with you," Eddie said. "I swear it, Roland. I mean, I know
you got a job to do, and I know I'm a part of it. I know you saved my ass at
Customs, but I think I saved yours at Balazar's—now what do you think?"
"I
think you did," Roland said. He remembered the way Eddie had risen up from
behind the desk, regardless of the risk, and felt an instant of doubt.
But only
an instant.
"So?
Peter pays Paul. One hand washes the other. All I want to do is go back for a
few hours. Grab some take-out chicken, maybe a box of Dunkin Donuts."
Eddie nodded toward the doorway, where things had begun to move again. "So
what do you say?"
"No,"
the gunslinger said, but for a moment he was hardly thinking about Eddie. That
movement up the aisle— the Lady, whoever she was, wasn't moving the way an ordinary
person moved—wasn't moving, for instance, the way Eddie had moved when Roland
looked through his eyes, or (now that he stopped to think of it, which he never
had before, any more than he had ever stopped and really noticed the constant
presence of his own nose in the lower range of his peripheral vision) the way
he moved himself. When one walked, vision became a mild pendulum: left leg,
right leg, left leg, right leg, the world rocking back and forth so mildly and
gently that after awhile—shortly after you began to walk, he supposed—you
simply ignored it. There was none of that pendulum movement in the Lady's
walk—she simply moved smoothly up the aisle, as if riding along tracks.
Ironically, Eddie had had this same perception . . . only to Eddie it had
looked like a SteadiCam shot. He had found this perception comforting because
it was familiar.
To Roland
it was alien . . . but then Eddie was breaking in, his voice shrill.
"Well
why not? Just why the fuck not?"
"Because
you don't want chicken," the gunslinger said.
"I
know what you call the things you want, Eddie. You want to 'fix.' You want to
'score.' "
"So
what?" Eddie cried—almost shrieked. "So what if I do? I said I'd come
back with you! You got my promise! I mean, you got my fuckin PROMISE! What else
do you want? You want me to swear on my mother's name? Okay, I swear on my
mother's name! You want me to swear on my brother Henry's name? All right, I
swear! I swear! I SWEAR!"
Enrico
Balazar would have told him, but the gunslinger didn't need the likes of
Balazar to tell him this one fact of life: Never trust a junkie.
Roland
nodded toward the door. "Until after the Tower, at least, that part of
your life is done. After that I don't care. After that you're free to go to
hell in your own way. Until then I need you."
''Oh you
fuckin shitass liar,'' Eddie said softly. There was no audible emotion in his
voice, but the gunslinger saw the glisten of tears in his eyes. Roland said
nothing. "You know there ain't gonna be no after, not for me, not for her,
or whoever the Christ this third guy is. Probably not for you, either—you look
as fuckin wasted as Henry did at his worst. If we don't die on the way to your
Tower we'll sure as shit die when we get there so why are you lying to
me?"
The
gunslinger felt a dull species of shame but only repeated: "At least for
now, that part of your life is done."
"Yeah?"
Eddie said. "Well, I got some news for you, Roland. I know what's gonna
happen to your real body when you go through there and inside of her. I
know because I saw it before. I don't need your guns. I got you by that fabled
place where the short hairs grow, my friend. You can even turn her head the way
you turned mine and watch what I do to the rest of you while you're nothing but
your goddam ka. I'd like to wait until nightfall, and drag you down by
the water. Then you could watch the lobsters chow up on the rest of you. But
you might be in too much of a hurry for that."
Eddie
paused. The graty breaking of the waves and the steady hollow conch of the wind
both seemed very loud.
"So I
think I'll just use your knife to cut your throat."
"And
close that door forever?"
"You
say that part of my life is done. You don't just mean smack, either. You mean
New York, America, my time, everything. If that's how it is, I want
this part done, too. The scenery sucks and the company stinks. There are times,
Roland, when you make Jimmy Swaggart look almost sane."
"There
are great wonders ahead," Roland said. "Great adventures. More than
that, there is a quest to course upon, and a chance to redeem your honor.
There's something else, too. You could be a gunslinger. I needn't be the last
after all. It's in you, Eddie. I see it. I feel it."
Eddie
laughed, although now the tears were coursing down his cheeks. "Oh,
wonderful. Wonderful! Just what I need! My brother Henry. He was
a gunslinger. In a place called Viet Nam, that was. It was great for him. You
should have seen him when he was on a serious nod, Roland. He couldn't find his
way to the fuckin bathroom without help. If there wasn't any help handy, he
just sat there and watched Big Time Wrestling and did it in his fuckin
pants. It's great to be a gunslinger. I can see that. My brother was a doper
and you're out of your fucking gourd."
"Perhaps
your brother was a man with no clear idea of honor."
"Maybe
not. We didn't always get a real clear picture of what that was in the
Projects. It was just a word you used after Your if you happened to get caught
smoking reefer or lifting the spinners off some guy's T-Bird and got ho'ed up
in court for it."
Eddie was
crying harder now, but he was laughing, too.
"Your
friends, now. This guy you talk about in your sleep, for instance, this dude
Cuthbert—"
The
gunslinger started in spite of himself. Not all his long years of training
could stay that start.
"Did they
get this stuff you're talking about like a goddam Marine recruiting
sergeant? Adventure, quests, honor?"
"They
understood honor, yes," Roland said slowly, thinking of all the vanished
others.
"Did
it get them any further than gunslinging got my brother?"
The
gunslinger said nothing.
"I
know you," Eddie said. "I seen lots of guys like you. "You're
just another kook singing 'Onward Christian Soldiers' with a flag in one hand
and a gun in the other. I don't want no honor. I just want a chicken dinner and
fix. In that order. So I'm telling you: go on through. You can. But the minute
you're gone, I'm gonna kill the rest of you."
The
gunslinger said nothing.
Eddie
smiled crookedly and brushed the tears from his cheeks with the backs of his
hands. "You want to know what we call this back home?"
"What?"
"A
Mexican stand-off."
For a
moment they only looked at each other, and then Roland looked sharply into the
doorway. They had both been partially aware—Roland rather more than Eddie—that
there had been another of those swerves, this time to the left. Here was an
array of sparkling jewelry. Some was under protective glass but because most
wasn't, the gunslinger supposed it was trumpery stuff . . . what Eddie would
have called costume jewelry. The dark brown hands examined a few things in what
seemed an only cursory manner, and then another salesgirl appeared. There had
been some conversation which neither of them really noticed, and the Lady (some
Lady, Eddie thought) asked to see something else. The salesgirl went away, and
that was when Roland's eyes swung sharply back.
The brown
hands reappeared, only now they held a purse. It opened. And suddenly the hands
were scooping things—seemingly, almost certainly, at random—into the purse.
"Well,
you're collecting quite a crew, Roland," Eddie said, bitterly amused.
"First you got your basic white junkie, and then you got your basic black
shoplif—"
But Roland
was already moving toward the doorway between the worlds, moving swiftly, not
looking at Eddie at all.
"I
mean it!" Eddie screamed. "You go through and I'll cut your throat,
I'll cut your fucking thr—"
Before he
could finish, the gunslinger was gone. All that was left of him was his limp,
breathing body lying upon the beach.
For a
moment Eddie only stood there, unable to believe that Roland had done it, had
really gone ahead and done this idiotic thing in spite of his promise—his
sincere fucking guarantee, as far as that went—of what the consequences
would be.
He stood
for a moment, eyes rolling like the eyes of a frightened horse at the onset of
a thunderstorm . . . except of course there was no thunderstorm, except for the
one in the head.
All right.
All right, goddammit.
There
might only be a moment. That was all the gun-slinger might give him, and Eddie
damned well knew it. He glanced at the door and saw the black hands freeze with
a gold necklace half in and half out of a purse that already glittered like a
pirate's cache of treasure. Although he could not hear it, Eddie sensed that
Roland was speaking to the owner of the black hands.
He pulled
the knife from the gunslinger's purse and then rolled over the limp, breathing
body which lay before the doorway. The eyes were open but blank, rolled up to
the whites.
"Watch,
Roland!" Eddie screamed. That monotonous, idiotic, never-ending wind blew
in his ears. Christ, it was enough to drive anyone bugshit. "Watch very
closely! I want to complete your fucking education! I want to show you what
happens when you fuck over the Dean brothers!"
He brought
the knife down to the gunslinger's throat.
CHAPTER 2
RINGING THE CHANGES
1
August,
1959:
When the
intern came outside half an hour later, he found Julio leaning against the
ambulance which was still parked in the emergency bay of Sisters of Mercy
Hospital on 23rd Street. The heel of one of Julio's pointy-toed boots was
hooked over the front fender. He had changed to a pair of glaring pink pants
and a blue shirt with his name written in gold stitches over the left pocket:
his bowling league outfit. George checked his watch and saw that Julio's
team—The Spies of Supremacy— would already be rolling.
"Thought
you'd be gone," George Shavers said. He was an intern at Sisters of Mercy.
"How're your guys gonna win without the Wonder Hook?"
"They
got Miguel Basale to take my place. He ain't steady, but he gets hot sometimes.
They'll be okay." Julio paused. "I was curious about how it came
out." He was the driver, a Cubano with a sense of humor George wasn't even
sure Julio knew he had. He looked around. Neither of the paramedics who rode
with them were in sight.
"Where
are they?" George asked.
"Who?
The fuckin Bobbsey Twins? Where do you think they are? Chasin Minnesota
poontang down in the Village. Any idea if she'll pull through?"
"Don't
know."
He tried
to sound sage and knowing about the unknown, but the fact was that first the
resident on duty and then a pair of surgeons had taken the black woman away
from him almost faster than you could say hail Mary fulla grace (which
had actually been on his lips to say—the black lady really hadn't looked as if
she was going to last very long).
"She
lost a hell of a lot of blood."
"No
shit."
George was
one of sixteen interns at Sisters of Mercy, and one of eight assigned to a new
program called Emergency Ride. The theory was that an intern riding with a
couple of paramedics could sometimes make the difference between life and death
in an emergency situation. George knew that most drivers and paras thought that
wet-behind-the-ears interns were as likely to kill red-blankets as save them,
but George thought maybe it worked.
Sometimes.
Either way
it made great PR for the hospital, and although the interns in the program
liked to bitch about the extra eight hours (without pay) it entailed each week,
George Shavers sort of thought most of them felt the way he did himself—proud,
tough, able to take whatever they threw his way.
Then had
come the night the T.W.A. Tri-Star crashed at Idlewild. Sixty-five people on
board, sixty of them what Julio Estevez referred to as D.R.T.—Dead Right
There—and three of the remaining five looking like the sort of thing you might
scrape out of the bottom of a coal-furnace. . . except what you scraped out of
the bottom of a coal furnace didn't moan and shriek and beg for someone to give
them morphine or kill them, did they? If you can take this, he
thought afterward, remembering the severed limbs lying amid the remains of
aluminum flaps and seat-cushions and a ragged chunk of tail with the numbers 17
and a big red letter T and part of a W on it, remembering the eyeball he had
seen resting on top of a charred Samsonite suitcase, remembering a child's
teddybear with staring shoe-button eyes lying beside a small red sneaker with a
child's foot still in it, if you can take this, baby, you can take anything.
And he had been taking it just fine. He went right on taking it just fine
all the way home. He went on taking it just fine through a late supper that
consisted of a Swanson's turkey TV dinner. He went to sleep with no problem at
all, which proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was taking it just
fine. Then, in some dead dark hour of the morning he had awakened from a
hellish nightmare in which the thing resting on top of the charred Samsonite
suitcase had not been a teddybear but his mother's head, and her eyes
had opened, and they had been charred; they were the staring expressionless
shoebutton eyes of the teddy-bear, and her mouth had opened, revealing the
broken fangs which had been her dentures up until the T.W.A. Tri-Star was
struck by lightning on its final approach, and she had whispered You
couldn't save me, George, we scrimped for you, we saved for you, we went
without for you, your dad fixed up the scrape you got into with that girl and
you STILL COULDN'T SAVE ME GOD DAMN YOU, and he had awakened screaming, and
he was vaguely aware of someone pounding on the wall, but by then he was
already pelting into the bathroom, and he barely made it to the kneeling
penitential position before the porcelain altar before dinner came up the
express elevator. It came special delivery, hot and steaming and still smelling
like processed turkey. He knelt there and looked into the bowl, at the chunks
of half-digested turkey and the carrots which had lost none of their original
flourescent brightness, and this word flashed across his mind in large red
letters:
ENOUGH
Correct.
It was:
ENOUGH.
He was
going to get out of the sawbones business. He was going to get out because:
ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH.
He was
going to get out because Popeye's motto was That's all I can stands and I
can't stand nummore, and Popeye was as right as rain.
He had
flushed the toilet and gone back to bed and fell asleep almost instantly and
awoke to discover he still wanted to be a doctor, and that was a goddam good
thing to know for sure, maybe worth the whole program, whether you called it
Emergency Ride or Bucket of Blood or Name That Tune.
He still
wanted to be a doctor.
He knew a
lady who did needlework. He paid her ten dollars he couldn't afford to make him
a small, old-fashioned-looking sampler. It said:
IF YOU CAN
TAKE THIS, YOU CAN TAKE ANYTHING.
Yes.
Correct.
The messy
business in the subway happened four weeks later.
2
"That
lady was some fuckin weird, you know it?" Julio said.
George
breathed an interior sigh of relief. If Julio hadn't opened the subject, George
supposed he wouldn't have had the sack. He was an intern, and someday he was
going to be a full-fledged doc, he really believed that now, but Julio was a vet,
and you didn't want to say something stupid in front of a vet. He
would only laugh and say Hell, I seen that shit a thousand times, kid. Get
y'selfa towel and wipe off whatever it is behind your ears, cause it's wet and
drippin down the sides of your face.
But
apparently Julio hadn't seen it a thousand times, and that was good,
because George wanted to talk about it.
"She
was weird, all right. It was like she was two people.''
He was
amazed to see that now Julio was the one who looked relieved, and he was
struck with sudden shame. Julio Estavez, who was going to do no more than pilot
a limo with a couple of pulsing red lights on top for the rest of his life, had
just shown more courage than he had been able to show.
"You
got it, doc. Hunnert per cent." He pulled out a pack of Chesterfields and
stuck one in the corner of his mouth.
"Those
things are gonna kill you, my man," George said.
Julio
nodded and offered the pack.
They
smoked in silence for awhile. The paras were maybe chasing tail like Julio had
said ... or maybe they'd just had enough. George had been scared, all
right, no joke about that. But he also knew he had been the one
who saved the woman, not the paras, and he knew Julio knew it too. Maybe that
was really why Julio had waited. The old black woman had helped, and the white
kid who had dialed the cops while everyone else (except the old black woman)
had just stood around watching like it was some goddam movie or TV show or
something, part of a Peter Gunn episode, maybe, but in the end it had
all come down to George Shavers, one scared cat doing his duty the best way he
could.
The woman
had been waiting for the train Duke Ellington held in such high regard—that
fabled A-train. Just been a pretty young black woman in jeans and a khaki shirt
waiting for the fabled A-Train so she could go uptown someplace.
Someone
had pushed her.
George
Shavers didn't have the slightest idea if the police had caught the slug who
had done it—that wasn't his business. His business was the woman who had
tumbled screaming into the tube of the tunnel in front of that fabled A-train.
It had been a miracle that she had missed the third rail; the fabled third rail
that would have done to her what the State of New York did to the bad guys up
at Sing-Sing who got a free ride on that fabled A-train the cons called Old
Sparky.
Oboy, the
miracles of electricity.
She tried
to crawl out of the way but there hadn't been quite enough time and that fabled
A-train had come into the station screeching and squalling and puking up sparks
because the motorman had seen her but it was too late, too late for him and too
late for her. The steel wheels of that fabled A-train had cut the living legs
off her from just above the knees down. And while everyone else (except for the
white kid who had dialed the cops) had only stood there pulling their puds (or
pushing their pudenda, George supposed), the elderly black woman had jumped
down, dislocating one hip in the process (she would later be given a Medal of
Bravery by the Mayor), and had used the doorag on her head to cinch a
tourniquet around one of the young woman's squirting thighs. The young white
guy was screaming for an ambulance on one side of the station and the old black
chick was screaming for someone to give her a help, to give her a tie-off for
God's sake, anything, anything at all, and finally some elderly white business
type had reluctantly surrendered his belt, and the elderly black chick looked
up at him and spoke the words which became the headline of the New York Daily
News the next day, the words which made her an authentic American apple-pie
heroine: "Thank you, bro." Then she had noosed the belt around the
young woman's left leg halfway between the young woman's crotch and where her
left knee had been until that fabled A-train had come along.
George had
heard someone say to someone else that the young black woman's last words
before passing out had been "WHO WAS THAT MAHFAH? I GONE HUNT HIM DOWN
AND KILL HIS ASS!"
There was
no way to punch holes far enough up for the elderly black woman to notch the
belt, so she simply held on like grim old death until Julio, George, and the
paras arrived.
George
remembered the yellow line, how his mother had told him he must never, never, never
go past the yellow line while he was waiting for a train (fabled or
otherwise), the stench of oil and electricity when he hopped down onto the
cinders, remembered how hot it had been. The heat seemed to be baking off him,
off the elderly black woman, off the young black woman, off the train, the
tunnel, the unseen sky above and hell itself beneath. He remembered thinking
incoherently // they put a blood-pressure cuff on me now I'd go off the dial
and then he went cool and yelled for his bag, and when one of the paras
tried to jump down with it he told the para to fuck off, and the para had
looked startled, as if he was really seeing George Shavers for the first time,
and he had fucked off.
George
tied off as many veins and arteries as he could tie off, and when her heart
started to be-bop he had shot her full of Digitalin. Whole blood arrived. Cops
brought it. Want to bring her up, doc? one of them had asked and George
had told him not yet, and he got out the needle and stuck the juice to her like
she was a junkie in dire need of a fix.
Then he let them take her up.
Then they had taken her back.
On the way
she had awakened.
Then the weirdness started.
3
George
gave her a shot of Demerol when the paras loaded her into the ambulance—she had
begun to stir and cry out weakly. He gave her a boost hefty enough for him to
be confident she would remain quiet until they got to Sisters of Mercy. He was
ninety per cent sure she would still be with them when they got there,
and that was one for the good guys.
Her eyes
began to flutter while they were still six blocks from the hospital, however.
She uttered a thick moan.
"We
can shoot her up again, doc," one of the paras said.
George was
hardly aware this was the first time a paramedic had deigned to call him
anything other than George or, worse, Georgie. "Are you nuts? I'd just as
soon not confuse D.O.A. and O.D. if it's all the same to you."
The paramedic
drew back.
George
looked back at the young black woman and saw the eyes returning his gaze were
awake and aware.
"What
has happened to me?" she asked.
George
remembered the man who had told another man about what the woman had supposedly
said (how she was going to hunt the motherfucker down and kill his ass, etc.,
etc.). That man had been white. George decided now it had been pure invention,
inspired either by that odd human urge to make naturally dramatic situations
even more dramatic, or just race prejudice. This was a cultured, intelligent
woman.
"You've
had an accident," he said. "You were—"
Her eyes
slipped shut and he thought she was going to sleep again. Good. Let someone
else tell her she had lost her legs. Someone who made more than $7,600 a year.
He had shifted a little to the left, wanting to check her b.p. again, when she
opened her eyes once more. When she did, George Shavers was looking at a
different woman.
"Fuckah
cut off mah laigs. I felt 'em go. Dis d'amblance?"
"Y-Y-Yes,"
George said. Suddenly he needed something to drink.
Not necessarily alcohol. Just something wet. His voice was dry. This was like
watching Spencer Tracy in Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, only for real.
"Dey
get dat honkey mahfah?"
"No,"
George said, thinking The guy got it right, goddam, the guy did actually
get it right.
He was
vaguely aware that the paramedics, who had been hovering (perhaps hoping he
would do something wrong) were now backing off.
"Good.
Honky fuzz jus be lettin him off anyway. I be gittin him. I be cuttin his cock
off. Sumbitch! I tell you what I goan do t'dat sumbitch! I tell you one thing,
you sumbitch honky! I goan tell you . . . tell..."
Her eyes
fluttered again and George had thought Yes, go to sleep, please go to
sleep, I don't get paid for this, I don't understand this, they told us about
shock but nobody mentioned schizophrenia as one of the—
The eyes
opened. The first woman was there.
"What
sort of accident was it?" she asked. "I remember coming out of the
I—"
"Eye?"
he said stupidly.
She smiled
a little. It was a painful smile. "The Hungry I. It's a coffee
house."
"Oh.
Yeah. Right."
The other
one, hurt or not, had made him feel dirty and a little ill. This one made him
feel like a knight in an Arthurian tale, a knight who has successfully rescued
the Lady Fair from the jaws of the dragon.
"I
remember walking down the stairs to the platform, and after that—"
''Someone
pushed you. "It sounded stupid, but what was wrong with that? It was stupid.
"Pushed
me in front of the train?"
"Yes."
"Have
I lost my legs?"
George
tried to swallow and couldn't. There seemed to be nothing in his throat to
grease the machinery.
"Not
all of them," he said inanely, and her eyes closed.
Let it be
a faint, he thought then, please let it be
a f—
They
opened, blazing. One hand came up and slashed five slits through the air within
an inch of his face—any closer and he would have been in the E.R. getting his
cheek stitched up instead of smoking Chesties with Julio Estavez.
"YOU
AIN'T NUTHIN BUT A BUNCH A HONKY SONSA BITCHES!" she screamed. Her face was monstrous, her eyes full of hell's own
light. It wasn't even the face of a human being. "GOAN KILL EVERY
MAHFAHIN HONKY I SEE! GOAN GELD EM FUST! GOAN CUT OFF THEIR BALLS AND SPIT EM
IN THEY FACES! GOAN—"
It was
crazy. She talked like a cartoon black woman, Butterfly McQueen gone Loony
Tunes. She—or it—also seemed superhuman. This screaming, writhing thing could
not have just undergone impromptu surgery by subway train half an hour ago. She
bit. She clawed out at him again and again. Snot spat from her nose. Spit flew
from her lips. Filth poured from her mouth.
"Shoot
her up, doc!" one of the paras yelled. His
face was pale. "Fa crissakes shoot her up!" The para reached
toward the supply case. George shoved his hand aside.
"Fuck
off, chickenshit."
George
looked back at his patient and saw the calm, cultured eyes of the other one
looking at him.
"Will
I live?" she asked in a conversational tea-room voice. He thought, She
is unaware of her lapses. Totally unaware. And, after a moment: So is
the other one, for that matter.
"I—"
He gulped, rubbed at his galloping heart through his tunic, and then ordered
himself to get control of this. He had saved her life. Her mental problems were
not his concern.
"Are you
all right?" she asked him, and the genuine concern in her voice made
him smile a little—her asking him.
"Yes,
ma'am."
"To
which question are you responding?"
For a
moment he didn't understand, then did. "Both," he said, and took her
hand. She squeezed it, and he looked into her shining lucent eyes and thought A
man could fall in love, and that was when her hand turned into a claw and
she was telling him he was a honky mahfah, and she wadn't just goan take his
balls, she was goan chew on those mahfahs.
He pulled
away, looking to see if his hand was bleeding, thinking incoherently that if it
was he would have to do something about it, because she was poison, the woman
was poison, and being bitten by her would be about the same as being bitten by
a copperhead or rattler. There was no blood. And when he looked again, it was
the other woman—the first woman.
"Please,"
she said. "I don't want to die. PI—" Then she went out for good, and
that was good. For all of them.
4
"So
whatchoo think?" Julio asked.
"About
who's gonna be in the Series?" George squashed the butt under the heel of
his loafer. "White Sox. I got 'em in the pool."
"Whatchoo
think about that lady?"
"I think
she might be schizophrenic," George said slowly.
"Yeah,
I know that. I mean, what's gonna happen to her?"
"I
don't know."
"She
needs help, man. Who gonna give it?"
"Well,
I already gave her one," George said, but his face felt hot, as if he were
blushing.
Julio
looked at him. "If you already gave her all the help you can give her, you
shoulda let her die, doc."
George
looked at Julio for a moment, but found he couldn't stand what he saw in
Julio's eyes—not accusation but sadness.
So he
walked away.
He had
places to go.
5
The Time
of the Drawing:
In the
time since the accident it was, for the most part, still Odetta Holmes who was
in control, but Delta Walker had come forward more and more, the thing Detta
liked to do best was steal. It didn't matter that her booty was always little
more than junk, no more than it mattered that she often threw it away later.
The taking
was what mattered.
When the
gunslinger entered her head in Macy's, Delta screamed in a combination of fury
and horror and terror, her hands freezing on the junk jewelry she was scooping
into her purse.
She
screamed because when Roland came into her mind, when he came forward, she
for a moment sensed the other, as if a door had been swung open inside
of her head.
And she
screamed because the invading raping presence was a honky.
She could
not see but nonetheless sensed his whiteness.
People
looked around. A floorwalker saw the screaming woman in the wheelchair with her
purse open, saw one hand frozen in the act of stuffing costume jewelry into a
purse that looked (even from a distance of thirty feet) worth three times the
stuff she was stealing.
The
floorwalker yelled, "Hey Jimmy!" and Jimmy Halvorsen, one of
Macy's house detectives, looked around and saw what was happening. He started
toward the black woman in the wheelchair on a dead run. He couldn't help
running—he had been a city cop for eighteen years and it was built into his
system—but he was already thinking it was gonna be a shit bust. Little kids,
cripples, nuns; they were always a shit bust. Busting them was like kicking a
drunk. They cried a little in front of the judge and then took a walk. It was
hard to convince judges that cripples could also be slime.
But he ran
just the same.
6
Roland was
momentarily horrified by the snakepit of hate and revulsion in which he found
himself. . . and then he heard the woman screaming, saw the big man with the
potato-sack belly running toward her/him, saw people looking, and took control.
Suddenly
he was the woman with the dusky hands. He sensed some strange duality
inside her, but couldn't think about it now.
He turned
the chair and began to shove it forward. The aisle rolled past him/her. People
dived away to either side. The purse was lost, spilling Delta's credentials and
stolen treasure in a wide trail along the floor. The man with the heavy gut
skidded on bogus gold chains and lipstick tubes and then fell on his ass.
7
Shit! Halvorsen thought furiously, and for a moment one hand clawed
under his sport-coat where there was a .38 in a clamshell holster. Then sanity
reasserted itself. This was no drug bust or armed robbery; this was a crippled
black lady in a wheelchair. She was rolling it like it was some punk's
drag-racer, but a crippled black lady was all she was just the same. What was
he going to do, shoot her? That would be great, wouldn't it? And where was she
going to go? There was nothing at the end of the aisle but two dressing rooms.
He picked
himself up, massaging his aching ass, and began after her again, limping a
little now.
The
wheelchair flashed into one of the dressing rooms. The door slammed, just
clearing the push-handles on the back.
Got you
now, bitch, Jimmy thought. And I'm going to
give you one hell of a scare. I don't care if you got five orphan children and
only a year to live. I'm not gonna hurt you, but oh babe I'm gonna shake your
dice.
He beat
the floorwalker to the dressing room, slammed the door open with his left
shoulder, and it was empty.
No black
woman.
No
wheelchair.
No
nothing.
He looked
at the floorwalker, starey-eyed.
"Other
one!" the floorwalker yelled. "Other one!"
Before
Jimmy could move, the floorwalker had busted open the door of the other
dressing room. A woman in a linen skirt and a Playtex Living Bra screamed
piercingly and crossed her arms over her chest. She was very white and very
definitely not crippled.
"Pardon
me," the floorwalker said, feeling hot crimson flood his face.
"Get
out of here, you pervert!" the woman
in the linen skirt and the bra cried.
"Yes,
ma'am," the floorwalker said, and closed the door.
At Macy's,
the customer was always right.
He looked
at Halvorsen.
Halvorsen
looked back.
"What
is this shit?" Halvorsen asked. "Did she go in there or not?"
"Yeah,
she did."
"So
where is she?"
The floorwalker
could only shake his head. "Let's go back and pick up the mess."
"You pick up the mess," Jimmy Halvorsen said. "I feel like I
just broke my ass in nine pieces." He paused. "To tell you the truth,
me fine bucko, I also feel extremely confused."
8
The moment
the gunslinger heard the dressing room door bang shut behind him, he rammed the
wheelchair around in a half turn, looking for the doorway. If Eddie had done
what he had promised, it would be gone.
But the
door was open. Roland wheeled the Lady of Shadows through it.
CHAPTER 3
ODETTA ON THE OTHER SIDE
1
Not long
after, Roland would think: Any other woman, crippled or otherwise, suddenly
shoved all the way down the aisle of the mart in which she was doing
business—monkey-business, you may call it if you like—by a stranger inside her
head, shoved into a little room while some man behind her yelled for her to
stop, then suddenly turned, shoved again where there was by rights no room in
which to shove, then finding herself suddenly in an entirely different world .
. . I think any other woman, under those circumstances, would have most
certainly have asked "Where am I?" before all else.
Instead,
Odetta Holmes asked almost pleasantly, "What exactly are you planning to
do with that knife, young man?"
2
Roland
looked up at Eddie, who was crouched with his knife held less than a quarter of
an inch over the skin. Even with his uncanny speed, there was no way the
gunslinger could move fast enough to evade the blade if Eddie decided to use
it.
"Yes,"
Roland said. "What are you planning to do with it?"
"I
don't know," Eddie said, sounding completely disgusted with himself.
"Cui bait, I guess. Sure doesn't look like I came here to fish, does
it?"
He threw the
knife toward the Lady's chair, but well to the right. It stuck, quivering, in
the sand to its hilt.
Then the
Lady turned her head and began, "I wonder if you could please explain
where you've taken m—"
She
stopped. She had said I wonder if you before her head had gotten
around far enough to see there was no one behind her, but the gunslinger
observed with some real interest that she went on speaking for a moment anyway,
because the fact of her condition made certain things elementary truths of her
life—if she had moved, for instance, someone must have moved her. But there was
no one behind her.
No one at
all.
She looked
back at Eddie and the gunslinger, her dark eyes troubled, confused, and
alarmed, and now she asked. "Where am I? Who pushed me? How can I be here?
How can I be dressed, for that matter, when I was home watching the twelve
o'clock news in my robe? Who am I? Where is this? Who are you?"
"Who
am I?" she asked, the gunslinger thought. The
dam broke and there was a flood of questions; that was to be expected. But that
one question—"Who am I?"—even now I don't think she knows she asked
it.
Or when.
Because
she had asked before.
Even
before she had asked who they were, she had asked who she was.
3
Eddie
looked from the lovely young/old face of the black woman in the wheelchair to
Roland's face.
"How
come she doesn't know?"
"I
can't say. Shock, I suppose."
"Shock
took her all the way back to her living room, before she left for Macy's? You
telling me the last thing she remembers is sitting in her bathrobe and
listening to some blow-dried dude talk about how they found that gonzo down in
the Florida Keys with Christa McAuliff's left hand mounted on his den wall next
to his prize marlin?"
Roland didn't
answer.
More dazed
than ever, the Lady said, "Who is Christa McAuliff? Is she one of the
missing Freedom Riders?"
Now it was
Eddie's turn not to answer. Freedom Riders? What the hell were they"?
The
gunslinger glanced at him and Eddie was able to read his eyes easily enough:
Can't you see she's in shock?
I know what you mean, Roland old buddy, but it only washes up to
a point. I felt a little shock myself when you came busting into my head like
Walter Payton on crack, but it didn't wipe out my memory banks.
Speaking
of shock, he'd gotten another pretty good jolt when she came through. He had
been kneeling over Roland's inert body, the knife just above the vulnerable
skin of the throat. . .but the truth was Eddie couldn't have used the knife
anyway—not then, anyway. He was staring into the doorway, hypnotized, as an
aisle of Macy's rushed forward—he was reminded again of The Shining, where
you saw what the little boy was seeing as he rode his trike through the
hallways of that haunted hotel. He remembered the little boy had seen this
creepy pair of dead twins in one of those hallways. The end of this aisle was
much more mundane: a white door. The words ONLY TWO GARMENTS AT ONE TIME,
PLEASE were printed on it in discreet lettering. Yeah, it was Macy's, all
right. Macy's for sure.
One black
hand flew out and slammed the door open while the male voice (a cop voice if
Eddie had ever heard one, and he had heard many in his time) behind yelled for
her to quit it, that was no way out, she was only making things a helluva lot
worse for herself, and Eddie caught a bare glimpse of the black woman in the
wheelchair in the mirror to the left, and he remembered thinking Jesus, he's
got her, all right, but she sure don't look happy about it.
Then the
view pivoted and Eddie was looking at himself. The view rushed toward
the viewer and he wanted to put up the hand holding the knife to shield his
eyes because all at once the sensation of looking through two sets of eyes was
too much, too crazy, it was going to drive him crazy if he didn't shut
it out, but it all happened too fast for him to have time.
The
wheelchair came through the door. It was a tight fit; Eddie heard its hubs
squeal on the sides. At the same moment he heard another sound: a thick tearing
sound that made him think of some word
(placental)
that he
couldn't quite think of because he didn't know he knew it. Then the woman was
rolling toward him on the hard-packed sand, and she no longer looked mad as
hell— hardly looked like the woman Eddie had glimpsed in the mirror at all, for
that matter, but he supposed that wasn't surprising; when you all at
once went from a changing-room at Macy's to the seashore of a godforsaken world
where some of the lobsters were the size of small Collie dogs, it left you
feeling a little winded. That was a subject on which Eddie Dean felt he could
personally give testimony.
She rolled
about four feet before stopping, and only went that far because of the slope
and the gritty pack of the sand. Her hands were no longer pumping the wheels,
as they must have been doing (when you wake up with sore shoulders tomorrow
you can blame them on Sir Roland, lady, Eddie thought sourly). Instead they
went to the arms of the chair and gripped them as she regarded the two men.
Behind
her, the doorway had already disappeared. Disappeared? That was not quite
right. It seemed to fold in on itself, like a piece of film run
backward. This began to happen just as the store dick came slamming through the
other, more mundane door—the one between the store and the dressing room. He
was coming hard, expecting the shoplifter would have locked the door, and Eddie
thought he was going to take one hell of a splat against the far wall, but
Eddie was never going to see it happen or not happen. Before the shrinking
space where the door between that world and this disappeared entirely, Eddie
saw everything on that side freeze solid.
The movie
had become a still photograph.
All that
remained now were the dual tracks of the wheel-chair, starting in sandy nowhere
and running four feet to where it and its occupant now sat.
"Won't
somebody please explain where I am and how I got here?" the woman in the
wheelchair asked—almost pleaded.
"Well,
I'll tell you one thing, Dorothy," Eddie said. "You ain't in Kansas
anymore."
The
woman's eyes brimmed with tears. Eddie could see her trying to hold them in but
it was no good. She began to sob.
Furious
(and disgusted with himself as well), Eddie turned on the gunslinger, who had
staggered to his feet. Roland moved, but not toward the weeping Lady. Instead
he went to pick up his knife.
"Tell
her!" Eddie shouted. "You brought her, so go on and tell her,
man!" And after a moment he added in a lower tone, "And then tell
me how come she doesn't remember herself."
4
Roland did
not respond. Not at once. He bent, pinched the hilt of the knife between the
two remaining fingers of his right hand, transferred it carefully to his left,
and slipped it into the scabbard at the side of one gunbelt. He was still
trying to grapple with what he had sensed in the Lady's mind. Unlike Eddie, she
had fought him, fought him like a cat, from the moment he came forward until
they rolled through the door. The fight had begun the moment she sensed him.
There had been no lapse, because there had been no surprise. He had experienced
it but didn't in the least understand it. No surprise at the invading stranger
in her mind, only the instant rage, terror, and the commencement of a battle to
shake him free. She hadn't come close to winning that battle—could not, he
suspected—but that hadn't kept her from trying like hell. He had felt a woman
insane with fear and anger and hate.
He had
sensed only darkness in her—this was a mind entombed in a cave-in.
Except—
Except
that in the moment they burst through the doorway and separated, he had
wished—wished desperately—that he could tarry a moment longer. One
moment would have told so much. Because the woman before them now wasn't the
woman in whose mind he had been. Being in Eddie's mind had been like being in a
room with jittery, sweating walls. Being in the Lady's had been like lying
naked in the dark while venomous snakes crawled all over you.
Until the
end.
She had
changed at the end.
And there
had been something else, something he believed was vitally important, but he
either could not understand it or remember it. Something like
(a glance)
the
doorway itself, only in her mind. Something about
(you broke
the forspecial it was you)
some
sudden burst of understanding. As at studies, when you finally saw—
"Oh,
fuck you," Eddie said disgustedly. "You're nothing but a goddam
machine."
He strode
past Roland, went to the woman, knelt beside her, and when she put her arms
around him, panic-tight, like the arms of a drowning swimmer, he did not draw
away but put his own arms around her and hugged her back.
"It's
okay," he said. "I mean, it's not great, but it's okay."
"Where
are we?" she wept. "I was
sitting home watching TV so I could hear if my friends got out of Oxford alive
and now I'm here and I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE HERE IS!"
"Well,
neither do I," Eddie said, holding her tighter, beginning to rock her a
little, "but I guess we're in it together. I'm from where you're from,
little old New York City, and I've been through the same thing—well, a little
different, but same principle—and you're gonna be just fine." As an
afterthought he added: "As long as you like lobster."
She hugged
him and wept and Eddie held her and rocked her and Roland thought, Eddie
will be all right now. His brother is dead but he has someone else to take care
of so Eddie will be all right now.
But he
felt a pang: a deep reproachful hurt in his heart. He was capable of shooting—with his left hand, anyway—of killing,
of going on and on, slamming with brutal relentless-ness through miles and
years, even dimensions, it seemed, in search of the Tower. He was capable of
survival, sometimes even of protection—he had saved the boy Jake from a slow
death at the way station, and from sexual consumption by the Oracle at the foot
of the mountains—but in the end, he had let Jake die. Nor had this been by
accident; he had committed a conscious act of damnation. He watched the two of
them, watched Eddie hug her; assure her it was going to be all right. He could
not have done that, and now the rue in his heart was joined by stealthy fear.
If you have given up your heart for the Tower, Roland, you have
already lost. A heartless creature is a loveless creature, and a loveless
creature is a beast. To be a beast is perhaps bearable, although the man who
has become one will surely pay hell's own price in the end, but what if you
should gain your object? What if you should, heartless, actually storm the Dark
Tower and win it? If there is naught but darkness in your heart, what could you
do except degenerate from beast to monster? To gain one's object as a beast
would only be bitterly comic, like giving a magnifying glass to an elephaunt.
But to gain one's object as a monster . . .
To pay hell is one thing. But do you want to own it?
He thought
of Allie, and of the girl who had once waited for him at the window, thought of
the tears he had shed over Cuthbert's lifeless corpse. Oh, then he had loved.
Yes. Then.
I do want
to love! he cried, but although Eddie was also crying a little now with the
woman in the wheelchair, the gunslinger's eyes remained as dry as the desert he
had crossed to reach this sunless sea.
5
He would
answer Eddie's question later. He would do that because he thought Eddie would
do well to be on guard. The reason she didn't remember was simple. She wasn't
one woman but two.
And one of
them was dangerous.
6
Eddie told
her what he could, glossing over the shoot-out but being truthful about
everything else.
When he
was done, she remained perfectly silent for some time, her hands clasped
together on her lap.
Little
streamlets coursed down from the shallowing mountains, petering out some miles
to the east. It was from these that Roland and Eddie had drawn their water as
they hiked north. At first Eddie had gotten it because Roland was too weak.
Later they had taken turns, always having to go a little further and search a
little longer before finding a stream. They grew steadily more listless as the
mountains slumped, but the water hadn't made them sick.
So far.
Roland had
gone yesterday, and although that made today Eddie's turn, the gunslinger had
gone again, shouldering the hide water-skins and walking off without a word.
Eddie found this queerly discreet. He didn't want to be touched by the
gesture—by anything about Roland, for that matter—and found he was, a little,
just the same.
She
listened attentively to Eddie, not speaking at all, her eyes fixed on his. At
one moment Eddie would guess she was five years older than he, at another he
would guess fifteen. There was one thing he didn't have to guess about: he was
falling in love with her.
When he
had finished, she sat for a moment without saying anything, now not looking at
him but beyond him, looking at the waves which would, at nightfall, bring the
lobsters and with their alien, lawyerly questions. He had been particularly
careful to describe them. Better for her to be a little scared now than
a lot scared when they came out to play. He supposed she wouldn't want to eat
them, not after hearing what they had done to Roland's hand and foot, not after
she got a good close look at them. But eventually hunger would win out over did-a-chick
and dum-a-chum.
Her eyes
were far and distant.
"Odetta?"
he asked after perhaps five minutes had gone by. She had told him her name.
Odetta Holmes. He thought it was a gorgeous name.
She looked
back at him, startled out of her revery. She smiled a little. She said one
word.
"No."
He only
looked at her, able to think of no suitable reply. He thought he had never
understood until that moment how illimitable a simple negative could be.
"I
don't understand," he said finally. "What are you no-ing?"
"All
this." Odetta swept an arm (she had, he'd noticed, very strong arms—smooth
but very strong), indicating the sea, the sky, the beach, the scruffy foothills
where the gunslinger was now presumably searching for water (or maybe getting
eaten alive by some new and interesting monster, something Eddie didn't really
care to think about). Indicating, in short, this entire world.
"I
understand how you feel. I had a pretty good case of the unrealities myself at first."
But had
he? Looking back, it seemed he had simply accepted, perhaps because he was
sick, shaking himself apart in his need for junk.
"You
get over it."
"No,"
she said again. "I believe one of two things has happened, and no matter
which one it is, I am still in Oxford, Mississippi. None of this is real."
She went
on. If her voice had been louder (or perhaps if he had not been falling in
love) it would almost have been a lecture. As it was, it sounded more like
lyric than lecture.
Except, he had to keep reminding himself, bullshit's what it really is,
and you have to convince her of that. For her sake.
"I
may have sustained a head injury," she said. "They are notorious
swingers of axe-handles and billy-clubs in Oxford Town."
Oxford
Town.
That
produced a faint chord of recognition far back in Eddie's mind. She said the
words in a kind of rhythm that he for some reason associated with Henry . . .
Henry and wet diapers. Why? What? Didn't matter
now.
"You're
trying to tell me you think this is all some sort of dream you're having while
you're unconscious?"
"Or
in a coma," she said. "And you needn't look at me as though you
thought it was preposterous, because it isn't. Look here."
She parted
her hair carefully on the left, and Eddie could see she wore it to one side not
just because she liked the style. The old wound beneath the fall of her hair
was scarred and ugly, not brown but a grayish-white.
"I
guess you've had a lot of hard luck in your time," he said.
She
shrugged impatiently. "A lot of hard luck and a lot of soft living,"
she said. "Maybe it all balances out. I only showed you because I was in a
coma for three weeks when I was five. I dreamed a lot then. I can't remember
what the dreams were, but I remember my mamma said they knew I wasn't going to
die just as long as I kept talking and it seemed like I kept talking all the
time, although she said they couldn't make out one word in a dozen. I do remember
that the dreams were very vivid."
She
paused, looking around.
"As
vivid as this place seems to be. And you, Eddie."
When she
said his name his arms prickled. Oh, he had it, all right. Had it bad.
"And him."
She shivered. "He seems the most vivid of all."
"We
ought to. I mean, we are real, no matter what you think."
She gave
him a kind smile. It was utterly without belief.
"How
did that happen?" he asked. "That thing on your head?"
"It
doesn't matter. I'm just making the point that what has happened once might
very well happen again."
"No,
but I'm curious."
"I was
struck by a brick. It was our first trip north. We came to the town of
Elizabeth, New Jersey. We came in the Jim Crow car."
"What's
that?"
She looked
at him unbelievingly, almost scornfully. "Where have you been living,
Eddie? In a bomb-shelter?"
"I'm from
a different time," he said. "Could I ask how old you are,
Odetta?"
"Old
enough to vote and not old enough for Social Security."
"Well,
I guess that puts me in my place."
"But
gently, I hope," she said, and smiled that radiant smile which made his arms
prickle.
"I'm
twenty-three," he said, "but I was born in 1964—the year you were
living in when Roland took you."
"That's
rubbish."
"No.
I was living in 1987 when he took me."
"Well,"
she said after a moment. "That certainly adds a great deal to your argument
for this as reality, Eddie."
"The
Jim Crow car. . . was it where the black people had to stay?"
"The Negros,"
she said. "Calling a Negro a black is a trifle rude, don't you
think?"
"You'll
all be calling yourselves that by 1980 or so," Eddie said. "When I
was a kid, calling a black kid a Negro was apt to get you in a fight. It was
almost like calling him a nigger."
She looked
at him uncertainly for a moment, then shook her head again.
"Tell
me about the brick, then."
"My
mother's youngest sister was going to be married," Odetta said. "Her
name was Sophia, but my mother always called her Sister Blue because it was the
color she always fancied. 'Or at least she fancied to fancy it,' was how my
mother put it. So I always called her Aunt Blue, even before I met her. It was
the most lovely wedding. There was a reception afterward. I remember all the
presents."
She
laughed.
"Presents
always look so wonderful to a child, don't they, Eddie?"
He smiled.
"Yeah, you got that right. You never forget presents. Not what you got,
not what somebody else got, either."
"My
father had begun to make money by then, but all I knew is that we were getting
ahead. That's what my mother always called it and once, when I told her a
little girl I played with had asked if my daddy was rich, my mother told me
that was what I was supposed to say if any of my other chums ever asked me that
question. That we were getting ahead.
"So
they were able to give Aunt Blue a lovely china set, and I remember..."
Her voice
faltered. One hand rose to her temple and rubbed absently, as if a headache
were beginning there.
"Remember
what, Odetta?"
"I
remember my mother gave her a for special."
"What?"
"I'm
sorry. I've got a headache. It's got my tongue tangled. I don't know why I'm
bothering to tell you all this, anyway."
"Do
you mind?"
"No.
I don't mind. I meant to say mother gave her a special plate. It was
white, with delicate blue tracework woven all around the rim." Odetta
smiled a little. Eddie didn't think it was an entirely comfortable smile. Something
about this memory disturbed her, and the way its immediacy seemed to have taken
precedence over the extremely strange situation she had found herself in, a
situation which should be claiming all or most of her attention, disturbed him.
"I
can see that plate as clearly as I can see you now, Eddie. My mother gave it to
Aunt Blue and she cried and cried over it. I think she'd seen a plate like that
once when she and my mother were children, only of course their parents could
never have afforded such a thing. There was none of them who got any thing for
special as kids. After the reception Aunt Blue and her husband left for the
Great Smokies on their honeymoon. They went on the train." She looked at
Eddie.
"In
the Jim Crow car," he said.
"That's
right! In the Crow car! In those days that's what Negros rode in and where they
ate. That's what we're trying to change in Oxford Town."
She looked
at him, almost surely expecting him to insist she was here, but he was caught
in the webwork of his own memory again: wet diapers and those words. Oxford
Town. Only suddenly other words came, just a single line, but he could remember
Henry singing it over and over until his mother asked if he couldn't please
stop so she could hear Walter Cronkite.
Somebody
better investigate soon. Those were the words. Sung
over and over by Henry in a nasal monotone. He tried for more but couldn't get
it, and was that any real surprise? He could have been no more than three at
the time. Somebody better investigate soon. The words gave him a chill.
"Eddie,
are you all right?"
"Yes.
Why?"
"You
shivered."
He smiled.
"Donald Duck must have walked over my grave."
She
laughed. "Anyway, at least I didn't spoil the wedding. It happened when we
were walking back to the railway station. We stayed the night with a friend of
Aunt Blue's, and in the morning my father called a taxi. The taxi came almost
right away, but when the driver saw we were colored, he drove off like his head
was on fire and his ass was catching. Aunt Blue's friend had already gone ahead
to the depot with our luggage—there was a lot of it, because we were going to
spend a week in New York. I remember my father saying he couldn't wait to see
my face light up when the clock in Central Park struck the hour and all the
animals danced.
"My
father said we might as well walk to the station. My mother agreed just as fast
as lickety-split, saying that was a fine idea, it wasn't but a mile and it
would be nice to stretch our legs after three days on one train just behind us
and half a day on another one just ahead of us. My father said yes, and it was
gorgeous weather besides, but I think I knew even at five that he was mad and
she was embarrassed and both of them were afraid to call another taxi-cab
because the same thing might happen again.
"So
we went walking down the street. I was on the inside because my mother was
afraid of me getting too close to the traffic. I remember wondering if my daddy
meant my face would actually start to glow or something when I saw that
clock in Central Park, and if that might not hurt, and that was when the brick
came down on my head. Everything went dark for a while. Then the dreams
started. Vivid dreams."
She
smiled.
"Like
this dream, Eddie."
"Did
the brick fall, or did someone bomb you?"
"They
never found anyone. The police (my mother told me this long after, when I was
sixteen or so) found the place where they thought the brick had been, but there
were other bricks missing and more were loose. It was just outside the window
of a fourth-floor room in an apartment building that had been condemned. But of
course there were lots of people staying there just the same. Especially at
night."
"Sure,"
Eddie said.
"No
one saw anyone leaving the building, so it went down as an accident. My mother
said she thought it had been, but I think she was lying. She didn't even
bother trying to tell me what my father thought. They were both still smarting
over how the cab-driver had taken one look at us and driven off. It was that
more than anything else that made them believe someone had been up there, just
looking out, and saw us coming, and decided to drop a brick on the niggers.
"Will
your lobster-creatures come out soon?"
"No,"
Eddiesaid. "Not until dusk. So one of your ideas is that all of this is a
coma-dream like the ones you had when you got bopped by the brick. Only this
time you think it was a billy-club or something."
"Yes."
"What's
the other one?"
Odetta's
face and voice were calm enough, but her head was filled with an ugly skein of
images which all added up to Oxford Town, Oxford Town. How did the song go? Two
men killed by the light of the moon,/Somebody better investigate soon. Not
quite right, but it was close. Close.
"I
may have gone insane," she said.
7
The first
words which came into Eddie's mind were // you think you've gone insane,
Odetta, you're nuts.
Brief
consideration, however, made this seem an unprofitable line of argument to
take.
Instead he
remained silent for a time, sitting by her wheelchair, his knees drawn up, his
hands holding his wrists.
"Were
you really a heroin addict?"
"Am,"
he said. "It's like being an alcoholic, or
'basing. It's not a thing you ever get over. I used to hear that and go 'Yeah,
yeah, right, right,' in my head, you know, but now I understand. I still want
it, and I guess part of me will always want it, but the physical part
has passed."
"What's
'basing?" she asked.
"Something
that hasn't been invented yet in your when. It's something you do with cocaine,
only it's like turning TNT into an A-bomb."
"You
did it?"
"Christ,
no. Heroin was my thing. I told you."
"You
don't seem like an addict," she said.
Eddie
actually was fairly spiffy ... if, that was, one ignored the gamy smell arising
from his body and clothes (he could rinse himself and did, could rinse his
clothes and did, but lacking soap, he could not really wash either). His hair
had been short when Roland stepped into his life (the better to sail through
customs, my dear, and what a great big joke that had turned out to be),
and was a still a respectable length. He shaved every morning, using the keen
edge of Roland's knife, gingerly at first, but with increasing confidence. He'd
been too young for shaving to be part of his life when Henry left for 'Nam, and
it hadn't been any big deal to Henry back then, either; he never grew a beard,
but sometimes went three or four days before Mom nagged him into "mowing
the stubble." When he came back, however, Henry was a maniac on the subject
(as he was on a few others—foot-powder after showering; teeth to be brushed
three or four times a day and followed by a chaser of mouthwash; clothes always
hung up) and he turned Eddie into a fanatic as well. The stubble was mowed
every morning and every evening. Now this habit was deep in his grain, like the
others Henry had taught him. Including, of course, the one you took care of
with a needle.
"Too
clean-cut?" he asked her, grinning.
"Too
white," she said shortly, and then was quiet for a moment, looking sternly
out at the sea. Eddie was quiet, too. If there was a comeback to something like
that, he didn't know what it was.
"I'm
sorry," she said. "That was very unkind, very unfair, and very unlike
me."
"It's
all right."
"It's
not. It's like a white person saying something like 'Jeez, I never would
have guessed you were a nigger' to someone with a very light skin."
"You
like to think of yourself as more fair-minded," Eddie said.
"What
we like to think of ourselves and what we really are rarely have much in common,
I should think, but yes—I like to think of myself as more fair-minded. So
please accept my apology, Eddie."
"On
one condition."
"What's
that?" she was smiling a little again. That was good. He liked it when he
was able to make her smile.
"Give
this a fair chance. That's the condition."
"Give
what a fair chance?" She sounded slightly amused. Eddie might have
bristled at that tone in someone else's voice, might have felt he was getting
boned, but with her it was different. With her it was all right. He supposed
with her just about anything would have been.
"That
there's a third alternative. That this really is happening. I mean ..."
Eddie cleared his throat. "I'm not very good at this philosophical shit,
or, you know, metamorphosis or whatever the hell you call it—"
"Do
you mean metaphysics?"
"Maybe.
I don't know. I think so. But I know you can't go around disbelieving what your
senses tell you. Why, if your idea about this all being a dream is right—"
"I
didn't say a dream—"
"Whatever
you said, that's what it comes down to, isn't it? A false reality?"
If there
had been something faintly condescending in her voice a moment ago, it was gone
now. "Philosophy and metaphysics may not he your bag, Eddie, but you must
have been a hell of a debater in school."
"I was
never in debate. That was for gays and hags and wimps. Like chess club. What do
you mean, my bag? What's a bag?"
"Just
something you like. What do you mean, gays? What are gays?"
He looked
at her for a moment, then shrugged. "Homos. Fags. Never mind. We could
swap slang all day. It's not getting us anyplace. What I'm trying to say is
that if it's all a dream, it could be mine, not yours. You could be a
figment of my imagination."
Her smile
faltered. "You . . . nobody bopped you."
"Nobody
bopped you, either."
Now her
smile was entirely gone. "No one that I remember," she
corrected with some sharpness.
"Me
either!" he said. "You told me they're rough in Oxford. Well, those
Customs guys weren't exactly cheery joy when they couldn't find the dope they
were after. One of them could have head-bopped me with the butt of his gun. I
could be lying in a Bellevue ward right now, dreaming you and Roland while they
write their reports, explaining how, while they were interrogating me, I became
violent and had to be subdued."
"It's
not the same."
"Why?
Because you're this intelligent socially active black lady with no legs and I'm
just a hype from Co-Op City?" He said it with a grin, meaning it as an
amiable jape, but she flared at him.
"I
wish you would stop calling me black!"
He sighed.
"Okay, but it's gonna take getting used to."
"You
should have been on the debate club anyway."
"Fuck,"
he said, and the turn of her eyes made him realize again that the difference
between them was much wider than color; they were speaking to each other from
separate islands. The water between was time. Never mind. The word had gotten
her attention. "I don't want to debate you. I want to wake you up to the
fact that you are awake, that's all."
"I might
be able to at least operate provisionally according to the dictates of your
third alternative as long as this . . . this situation . . . continued to go
on, except for one thing: There's a fundamental difference between what
happened to you and what happened to me. So fundamental, so large, that you
haven't seen it."
"Then
show it to me."
"There
is no discontinuity in your consciousness. There is a very large one in
mine."
"I
don't understand."
"I
mean you can account for all of your time," Odetta said. "Your story
follows from point to point: the airplane, the incursion by that. . . that...
by him—
She nodded
toward the foothills with clear distaste.
"The
stashing of the drugs, the officers who took you into custody, all the rest.
It's a fantastic story, it has no missing links.
"As
for myself, I arrived back from Oxford, was met by Andrew, my driver, and
brought back to my building. I bathed and I wanted sleep—I was getting a very
bad headache, and sleep is the only medicine that's any good for the really bad
ones. But it was close on midnight, and I thought I would watch the news first.
Some of us had been released, but a good many more were still in the jug when
we left. I wanted to find out if their cases had been resolved.
"I
dried off and put on my robe and went into the living room. I turned on the TV
news. The newscaster started talking about a speech Krushchev had just made
about the American advisors in Viet Nam. He said, 'We have a film report from—'
and then he was gone and I was rolling down this beach. You say you saw me in
some sort of magic doorway which is now gone, and that I was in Macy's, and
that I was stealing. All of this is preposterous enough, but even if it was so,
I could find something better to steal than costume jewelry. I don't wear
jewelry."
"You
better look at your hands again, Odetta," Eddie said quietly.
For a very
long time she looked from the "diamond" on her left pinky, too large
and vulgar to be anything but paste, to the large opal on the third finger of
her right hand, which was too large and vulgar to be anything but real.
"None
of this is happening," she repeated firmly.
"You
sound like a broken record!" He was genuinely angry for the first time.
"Every time someone pokes a hole in your neat little story, you just retreat
to that 'none of this is happening' shit. You have to wise up, 'Delta."
"Don't
call me that! I hate that!" she burst
out so shrilly that Eddie recoiled.
"Sorry.
Jesus! I didn't know."
"I
went from night to day, from undressed to dressed, from my living room to this
deserted beach. And what really happened was that some big-bellied redneck
deputy hit me upside the head with a club and that is all!"
"But
your memories don't stop in Oxford," he said softly.
"W-What?"
Uncertain again. Or maybe seeing and not wanting to. Like with the rings.
"If
you got whacked in Oxford, how come your memories don't stop there?"
"There
isn't always a lot of logic to things like this." She was rubbing her
temples again. "And now, if it's all the same to you, Eddie, I'd just as
soon end the conversation. My headache is back. It's quite bad."
"I
guess whether or not logic figures in all depends on what you want to believe.
I saw you in Macy's, Odetta. I saw you stealing. You say you
don't do things like that, but you also told me you don't wear jewelry. You
told me that even though you'd looked down at your hands several times while we
were talking. Those rings were there then, but it was as if you couldn't see
them until I called your attention to them and made you see them."
"I
don't want to talk about it!" she shouted. "My head hurts!"
"All
right. But you know where you lost track of time, and it wasn't in
Oxford."
"Leave
me alone," she said dully.
Eddie saw the
gunslinger toiling his way back with two full water-skins, one tied around his
waist and the other slung over his shoulders. He looked very tired.
"I
wish I could help you," Eddie said, "but to do that, I guess I'd have
to be real."
He stood
by her for a moment, but her head was bowed, the tips of her fingers steadily
massaging her temples.
Eddie went
to meet Roland.
8
"Sit
down." Eddie took the bags. "You look all in."
"I
am. I'm getting sick again."
Eddie looked
at the gunslinger's flushed cheeks and brow, his cracked lips, and nodded.
"I hoped it wouldn't happen, but I'm not that surprised, man. You didn't
bat for the cycle. Balazar didn't have enough Keflex."
"I
don't understand you."
"If
you don't take a penicillin drug long enough, you don't kill the infection. You
just drive it underground. A few days go by and it comes back. We'll need more,
but at least there's a door to go. In the meantime you'll just have to take it
easy." But Eddie was thinking unhappily of Odetta's missing legs and the
longer and longer treks it took to find water. He wondered if Roland could have
picked a worse time to have a relapse. He supposed it was possible; he just
didn't see how.
"I
have to tell you something about Odetta."
"That's
her name?"
"Uh-huh."
"It's
very lovely," the gunslinger said.
"Yeah.
I thought so, too. What isn't so lovely is the way she feels about this place.
She doesn't think she's here."
"I
know. And she doesn't like me much, does she?"
No, Eddie thought, but that doesn't keep her from think-ing you're one
booger of a hallucination. He didn't say it, only nodded.
"The
reasons are almost the same," the gunslinger said. "She's not the
woman I brought through, you see. Not at all.''
Eddie
stared, then suddenly nodded, excited. That blurred glimpse in the mirror . . .
that snarling face . . . the man was right. Jesus Christ, of course he was!
That hadn't been Odetta at all.
Then he
remembered the hands which had gone pawing carelessly through the scarves and
had just as carelessly gone about the business of stuffing the junk jewelry
into her big purse—almost, it had seemed, as if she wanted to be caught.
The rings
had been there.
Same
rings.
But that
doesn't necessarily mean the same hands, he
thought wildly, but that would only hold for a second. He had studied her
hands. They were the same, long-fingered and delicate.
"No,"
the gunslinger continued. "She is not." His blue eyes studied Eddie
carefully.
"Her
hands—"
"Listen,"
the gunslinger said, "and listen carefully. Our lives may depend on
it—mine because I'm getting sick again, and yours because you have fallen in
love with her."
Eddie said
nothing.
"She
is two women in the same body. She was one woman when I entered her, and
another when I returned here."
Now Eddie could
say nothing.
"There
was something else, something strange, but either I didn't understand it or I
did and it's slipped away. It seemed important."
Roland
looked past Eddie, looked to the beached wheel-chair, standing alone at the end
of its short track from nowhere. Then he looked back at Eddie.
"I
understand very little of this, or how such a thing can be, but you must be
on your guard. Do you understand that?"
"Yes."
Eddie's lungs felt as if they had very little wind in them. He understood—or
had, at least, a moviegoer's understanding of the sort of thing the gunslinger
was speaking of—but he didn't have the breath to explain, not yet. He felt as
if Roland had kicked all his breath out of him.
"Good.
Because the woman I entered on the other side of the door was as deadly as
those lobster-things that come out at night."
CHAPTER 4
DETTA ON THE
OTHER SIDE
1
You must
be on your guard, the gunslinger said, and Eddie
had agreed, but the gunslinger knew Eddie didn't know what he was talking
about; the whole back half of Eddie's mind, where survival is or isn't, didn't
get the message.
The
gunslinger saw this.
It was a
good thing for Eddie he did.
2
In the
middle of the night, Detta Walker's eyes sprang open. They were full of
starlight and clear intelligence.
She
remembered everything: how she had fought them, how they had tied her into her
chair, how they had taunted her, calling her niggerbitch, niggerbitch.
She
remembered monsters coming out of the waves, and she remembered how one of the
men—the older—had killed one of them. The younger had built a fire and cooked
it and then had offered her smoking monster-meat on a stick, grinning. She
remembered spitting at his face, remembered his grin turning into an angry
honky scowl. He had hit her upside the face, and told her Well, that's all
right, you'll come around, niggerbitch. Wait and see if you don't. Then he
and the Really Bad Man—had laughed and the Really Bad Man had brought out a
haunch of beef which he spitted and slowly cooked over the fire on the beach of this alien place to which they had
brought her.
The smell
of the slowly roasting beef had been seductive, but she had made no sign. Even
when the younger one had waved a chunk of it near her face, chanting Bite
for it, nigger-bitch, go on and bite for it, she had sat like stone,
holding herself in.
Then she
had slept, and now she was awake, and the ropes they had tied her with were
gone. She was no longer in her chair but lying on one blanket and under
another, far above the high-tide line, where the lobster-things still wandered
and questioned and snatched the odd unfortunate gull out of the air.
She looked
to her left and saw nothing.
She looked
to her right and saw two sleeping men wrapped in two piles of blankets. The
younger one was closer, and the Really Bad Man had taken off his gunbelts and
laid them by him.
The guns
were still in them.
You made a
bad mistake, mahfah, Delta thought, and rolled to her
right. The gritty crunch and squeak of her body on the sand was inaudible under
the wind, the waves, the questioning creatures. She crawled slowly along the
sand (like one of the lobstrosities herself), her eyes glittering.
She
reached the gunbelts and pulled one of the guns.
It was
very heavy, the grip smooth and somehow independently deadly in her hand. The
heaviness didn't bother her. She had strong arms, did Delta Walker.
She
crawled a little further.
The
younger man was no more than a snoring rock, but the Really Bad Man stirred a
littlie in his sleep and she froze with a snarl tattooed on her face until he
quieted again.
He be one
sneaky sumbitch. You check, Delta. You check, be sho.
She found the
worn chamber release, tried to shove it forward, got nothing, and pulled it
instead. The chamber swung open.
Loaded!
Fucker be loaded! You goan do this young cocka-de-walk first, and dat Really
Bad Man be wakin up and you goan give
him one big grin—smile honeychile so I kin see where you is—and den you goan
clean his clock somethin righteous.
She swung
the chamber back, started to pull the hammer . . . and then waited.
When the
wind kicked up a gust, she pulled the hammer to full cock.
Delta
pointed Roland's gun at Eddie's temple.
3
The
gunslinger watched all this from one half-open eye. The fever was back, but not
bad yet, not so bad that he must mistrust himself. So he waited, that one
half-open eye the finger on the trigger of his body, the body which had always
been his revolver when there was no revolver at hand.
She pulled
the trigger.
Click.
Of course click.
When he
and Eddie had come back with the waterskins from their palaver, Odetta Holmes
had been deeply asleep in her wheelchair, slumped to one side. They had made
her the best bed they could on the sand and carried her gently from her
wheelchair to the spread blankets. Eddie had been sure she would awake, but
Roland knew better.
He had
killed, Eddie had built a fire, and they had eaten, saving a portion aside for
Odetta in the morning.
Then they
had talked, and Eddie had said something which burst upon Roland like a sudden
flare of lightning. It was too bright and too brief to be total understanding,
but he saw much, the way one may discern the lay of the land in a single lucky
stroke of lightning.
He could
have told Eddie then, but did not. He understood that he must be Eddie's Cort,
and when one of Cort's pupils was left hurt and bleeding by some unexpected
blow, Cort's response had always been the same: A child doesn't understand a
hammer until he's mashed his finger at a nail. Get up and stop whining, maggot!
You have forgotten the face of your father!
So Eddie
had fallen asleep, even though Roland had told him he must be on his guard, and
when Roland was sure they both slept (he had waited longer for the Lady, who
could, he thought, be sly), he had reloaded his guns with spent casings,
unstrapped them (that caused a pang), and put them by Eddie.
Then he
waited.
One hour;
two; three.
Halfway
through the fourth hour, as his tired and feverish body tried to drowse, he
sensed rather than saw the Lady come awake and came fully awake himself.
He watched
her roll over. He watched her turn her hands into claws and pull herself along
the sand to where his gun-belts lay. He watched her take one of them out, come
closer to Eddie, and then pause, her head cocking, her nostrils swelling and
contracting, doing more than smelling the air; tasting it.
Yes. This
was the woman he had brought across.
When she glanced
toward the gunslinger he did more than feign sleep, because she would have
sensed sham; he went to sleep. When he sensed her gaze shift away he
awoke and opened that single eye again. He saw her begin to raise the gun—she
did this with less effort than Eddie had shown the first time Roland saw him do
the same thing—and point it toward Eddie's head. Then she paused, her face
filled with an inexpressible cunning.
In that
moment she reminded him of Marten.
She
fiddled with the cylinder, getting it wrong at first, then swinging it open.
She looked at the heads of the shells. Roland tensed, waiting first to see if
she would know the firing pins had already been struck, waiting next to see if
she would turn the gun, look into the other end of the cylinder, and see there
was only emptiness there instead of lead (he had thought of loading the guns
with cartridges which had already misfired, but only briefly; Cort had taught
them that every gun is ultimately ruled by Old Man Splitfoot, and a cartridge
which misfires once may not do so a second time). If she did that, he would
spring at once.
But she
swung the cylinder back in, began to cock the hammer . . . and then paused
again. Paused for the wind to mask the single low click.
He
thought: Here is another. God, she's evil, this one, and she's legless, but
she's a gunslinger as surely as Eddie is one.
He waited
with her.
The wind
gusted.
She pulled
the hammer to full cock and placed it half an inch from Eddie's temple. With a grin
that was a ghoul's grimace, she pulled the trigger.
Click.
He waited.
She pulled
it again. And again. And again.
Click-Click-Click.
"MahFAH!"
she screamed, and reversed the gun with liquid
grace.
Roland
coiled but did not leap. A child doesn't understand a hammer until he's
mashed his finger at a nail.
If she
kills him, she kills you.
Doesn't
matter, the voice of Cort answered
inexorably.
Eddie
stirred. And his reflexes were not bad; he moved fast enough to avoid being
driven unconscious or killed. Instead of coming down on the vulnerable temple,
the heavy gun-butt cracked the side of his jaw.
"What.
. . Jesus!"
"MAHFAH!
HONKY MAHFUH!" Delta screamed, and Roland
saw her raise the gun a second time. And even though she was legless and Eddie
was rolling away, it was as much as he dared. If Eddie hadn't learned the
lesson now, he never would. The next time the gunslinger told Eddie to be on
his guard, Eddie would be, and besides—the bitch was quick. It would not
be wise to depend further than this on either Eddie's quickness or the Lady's
infirmity.
He
uncoiled, flying over Eddie and knocking her backward, ending up on top of
her.
"You
want it, mahfah?" she screamed at him,
simultaneously rolling her crotch against his groin and raising the arm which
still held the gun above his head. "You want it? I goan give you what
you want, sho!"
"Eddie!"
he shouted again, not just yelling now but commanding.
For a moment Eddie just went on squalling there, eyes wide, blood dripping
from his jaw (it had already begun to swell), staring, eyes wide. Move,
can't you move? he thought, or is it that you don't want to? His
strength was fading now, and the next time she brought that heavy gunbutt down
she was going to break his arm with it... that was if he got his arm up in time.
If he didn't, she was going to break his head with it.
Then Eddie
moved. He caught the gun on the downswing and she shrieked, turning toward him,
biting at him like a vampire, cursing him in a gutter patois so darkly
southern that even Eddie couldn't understand it; to Roland it sounded as if the
woman had suddenly begun to speak in a foreign language. But Eddie was able to
yank the gun out of her hand and with the impending bludgeon gone, Roland was
able to pin her.
She did
not quit even then but continued to buck and heave and curse, sweat
standing out all over her dark face.
Eddie
stared, mouth opening and closing like the mouth f of a fish. He touched
tentatively at his jaw, winced, pulled his $ fingers back, examined them and
the blood on them.
She was
screaming that she would kill them both; they could try and rape her but she
would kill them with her cunt, they would see, that was one bad son of a
bitching cave with teeth around the entrance and if they wanted to try and explore
it they would find out.
"What
in the hell—" Eddie said stupidly.
"One
of my gunbelts," the gunslinger panted harshly at him. "Get it. I'm
going to roll her over on top of me and you're going to grab her arms and tie
her hands behind her."
"You
ain't NEVAH!" Delta shrieked, and sunfished
her legless body with such sudden force that she almost bucked Roland off. He
felt her trying to bring the remainder of her right thigh up again and again,
wanting to drive it into his balls.
"I...
I... she ..."
"Move,
God curse your father's face!" Roland
roared, and at last Eddie moved.
4
They
almost lost control of her twice during the tying and binding. But Eddie was at
last able to slip-knot one of Roland's gunbelts around her wrists when Roland—using
all his force—finally brought them together behind her (all the time drawing
back from her lunging bites like a mongoose from a snake; the bites he avoided
but before Eddie had finished, the gunslinger was drenched with spittle) and
then Eddie dragged her off, holding the short leash of the makeshift slip-knot
to do it. He did not want to hurt this thrashing screaming cursing thing. It
was uglier than the lobstrosities by far because of the greater intelligence
which informed it, but he knew it could also be beautiful. He did not want to
harm the other person the vessel held somewhere inside it (like a live dove
deep inside one of the secret compartments in a magician's magic box).
Odetta
Holmes was somewhere inside that screaming screeching thing.
5
Although
his last mount—a mule—had died too long ago to remember, the gunslinger still
had a piece of its tether-rope (which, in turn, had once been a fine
gunslinger's lariat). They used this to bind her in her wheelchair, as she had
imagined (or falsely remembered, and in the end they both came to the same
thing, didn't they?) they had done already. Then they drew away from her.
If not for
the crawling lobster-things, Eddie would have gone down to the water and washed
his hands.
"I
feel like I'm going to vomit," he said in a voice that jig-jagged up and
down the scale like the voice of an adolescent boy.
"Why
don't you go on and eat each other's COCKS?" the struggling thing in the chair screeched. "Why don't
you jus go on and do dat if you fraid of a black woman's cunny? You just go on!
Sho! Suck on yo each one's candles! Do it while you got a chance, cause Delta
Walker goan get outen dis chair and cut dem skinny ole white candles off and
feed em to those walkm buzzsaws down there!"
"She's
the woman I was in. Do you believe me now?"
"I
believed you before," Eddie said. "I told you
that."
"You believed
you believed. You believed on the top of your mind. Do you believe it all
the way down now? All the way to the bottom?"
Eddie
looked at the shrieking, convulsing thing in the chair and then looked away,
white except for the slash on his jaw, which was still dripping a little. That
side of his face was beginning to look a little like a balloon.
"Yes,
"he said. "God, yes."
"This
woman is a monster."
Eddie
began to cry.
The
gunslinger wanted to comfort him, could not commit such a sacrilege (he
remembered Jake too well), and walked off into the dark with his new fever
burning and aching inside him.
6
Much
earlier on that night, while Odetta still slept, Eddie said he thought he might
understand what was wrong with her. Might. The gunslinger asked what he
meant.
"She
could be a schizophrenic."
Roland
only shook his head. Eddie explained what he understood of schizophrenia,
gleanings from such films as The Three Faces of Eve and various TV
programs (mostly the soap operas he and Henry had often watched while stoned).
Roland had nodded. Yes. The disease Eddie described sounded about right. A
woman with two faces, one light and one dark. A face like the one the man in
black had shown him on the fifth Tarot card.
"And
they don't know—these schizophrenes—that they have another?"
"No,"
Eddie said. "But ..." He trailed off, moodily watching the
lobstrosities crawl and question, question and crawl.
"But
what?"
"I'm
no shrink," Eddie said, "so I don't really know—"
"Shrink?
What is a shrink?"
Eddie
tapped his temple. "A head-doctor. A doctor for your mind. They're really
called psychiatrists."
Roland
nodded. He liked shrink better. Because this Lady's mind was too large.
Twice as large as it needed to be.
"But
I think schizos almost always know something is wrong with them,"
Eddie said. "Because there are blanks. Maybe I'm wrong, but I always got
the idea that they were usually two people who thought they had partial
amnesia, because of the blank spaces in their memories when the other
personality was in control. She . . . she says she remembers everything.
She really thinks she remembers everything."
"I
thought you said she didn't believe any of this was happening."
"Yeah,"
Eddie said, "but forget that for now. I'm trying to say that, no matter
what she believes, what she remembers goes right from her living
room where she was sitting in her bathrobe watching the midnight news to here,
with no break at all. She doesn't have any sense that some other person took
over between then and when you grabbed her in Macy's. Hell, that might have
been the next day or even weeks later. I know it was still winter,
because most of the shoppers in that store were wearing coats—"
The
gunslinger nodded. Eddie's perceptions were sharpening. That was good. He had
missed the boots and scarves, the gloves sticking out of coat pockets, but it
was still a start.
"—but
otherwise it's impossible to tell how long Odetta was that other woman because
she doesn't know. I think she's in a situation she's never been in before, and
her way of protecting both sides is this story about getting cracked over the
head."
Roland
nodded.
"And
the rings. Seeing those really shook her up. She tried not to show it, but it
showed, all right."
Roland
asked: "If these two women don't know they exist in the same body, and if
they don't even suspect that something may be wrong, if each has her own
separate chain of memories, partly real but partly made up to fit the times
the other is there, what are we to do with her? How are we even to live with
her?"
Eddie had
shrugged. "Don't ask me. It's your problem. You're the one who says you
need her. Hell, you risked your neck to bring her here.'' Eddie thought about
this for a minute, remembered squatting over Roland's body with Roland's knife
held just above the gunslinger's throat, and laughed abruptly and without
humor. LITERALLY risked your neck, man, he thought.
A silence
fell between them. Odetta had by then been breathing quietly. As the gunslinger
was about to reiterate his warning for Eddie to be on guard and announce (loud
enough for the Lady to hear, if she was only shamming) that he was going to
turn in, Eddie said the thing which lighted Roland's mind in a single sudden
glare, the thing which made him understand at least part of what he needed so
badly to know.
At the
end, when they came through.
She had
changed at the end.
And he had
seen something, some thing—
"Tell
you what," Eddie said, moodily stirring the remains of the fire with a
split claw from this night's kill, "when you brought her through, I felt
like I was a schizo."
"Why?"
Eddie
thought, then shrugged. It was too hard to explain, or maybe he was just too
tired. "It's not important."
"Why?"
Eddie
looked at Roland, saw he was asking a serious question for a serious reason—or
thought he was—and took a minute to think back. "It's really hard to
describe, man. It was looking in that door. That's what freaked me out. When
you see someone move in that door, it's like you're moving with them. You know
what I'm talking about."
Roland
nodded.
"Well,
I watched it like it was a movie—never mind, it's not important—until the very
end. Then you turned her toward this side of the doorway and for the
first time I was looking at myself. It was like ..." He groped and
could find nothing. "I dunno. It should have been like looking in a
mirror, I guess, but it wasn't, because . . . because it was like looking at
another person. It was like being turned inside out. Like being in two places
at the same time. Shit, I don't know."
But the
gunslinger was thunderstruck. That was what he had sensed as they came
through; that was what had happened to her, no, not just her, them: for
a moment Detta and Odetta had looked at each other, not the way one would look
at her reflection in a mirror but as separate people; the mirror became
a windowpane and for a moment Odetta had seen Detta and Detta had seen Odetta
and had been equally horror-struck.
They each
know, the gunslinger thought grimly. They
may not have known before, but they do now. They can try to hide it from
themselves, but for a moment they saw, they knew, and that knowing must still
be there.
"Roland?"
"What?"
"Just
wanted to make sure you hadn't gone to sleep with your eyes open. Because for a
minute you looked like you were, you know, long ago and far away."
"If
so, I'm back now," the gunslinger said. "I'm going to turn in.
Remember what I said, Eddie: be on your guard."
"I'll
watch," Eddie said, but Roland knew that, sick or not, he would have to be
the one to do the watching tonight.
Everything
else had followed from that.
7
Following
the ruckus Eddie and Detta Walker eventually went to sleep again (she did not
so much fall asleep as drop into an exhausted state of unconsciousness in her
chair, lolling to one side against the restraining ropes).
The
gunslinger, however, lay wakeful.
I will have to bring the two of them to battle, he thought,
but he didn't need one of Eddie's "shrinks" to tell him that such a
battle might be to the death. If the bright one, Odetta, were to win
that battle, all might yet be well. If the dark one were to win it, all would
surely be lost with her.
Yet he
sensed that what really needed doing was not killing but joining. He had
already recognized much that would be of value to him—them—in Detta
Walker's gutter toughness, and he wanted her—but he wanted her under control.
There was a long way to go. Detta thought he and Eddie were monsters of some
species she called Honk Mafahs. That was only dangerous delusion, but
there would be real monsters along the way—the lobstrosities were not the
first, nor would they be the last. The fight-until-you-drop woman he had
entered and who had come out of hiding again tonight might come in very handy
in a fight against such monsters, if she could be tempered by Odetta Holmes's
calm humanity— especially now, with him short two fingers, almost out of
bullets, and growing more fever.
But that
is a step ahead. I think if I can make them acknowledge each other, that would
bring them into confrontation. How may it be done?
He lay
awake all that long night, thinking, and although he felt the fever in him
grow, he found no answer to his question.
8
Eddie woke
up shortly before daybreak, saw the gun-slinger sitting near the ashes of last
night's fire with his blanket wrapped around him Indian-fashion, and j oined
him.
"How
do you feel?" Eddie asked in a low voice. The Lady still slept in her
crisscrossing of ropes, although she occasionally jerked and muttered and
moaned.
"All
right."
Eddie gave
him an appraising glance. "You don't look all right."
"Thank
you, Eddie," the gunslinger said dryly.
"You're
shivering."
"It
will pass."
The Lady
jerked and moaned again—this time a word that was almost understandable. It
might have been Oxford.
"God,
I hate to see her tied up like that," Eddie murmured. "Like a goddam
calf in a barn."
"She'll
wake soon. Mayhap we can unloose her when she does."
It was the
closest either of them came to saying out loud that when the Lady in the chair
opened her eyes, the calm, if slightly puzzled gaze of Odetta Holmes might
greet them.
Fifteen
minutes later, as the first sunrays struck over the hills, those eyes did
open—but what the men saw was not the calm gaze of Odetta Holmes but the mad
glare of Delta Walker.
"How
many times you done rape me while I was buzzed out?" she asked. "My
cunt feel all slick an tallowy, like somebody done been at it with a couple
them little bitty white candles you graymeat mahfahs call cocks."
Roland
sighed.
"Let's
get going," he said, and gained his feet with a grimace.
"I
ain't goan nowhere wit choo, mahfah," Delta spat.
"Oh
yes you are," Eddie said. "Dreadfully sorry, my dear."
"Where
you think I'm goan?"
"Well,''
Eddie said,' 'what was behind Door Number One wasn’t so hot, and what was
behind Door Number Two was even worse, so now, instead of quitting like sane
people, we're going to go right on ahead and check out Door Number Three. The
way things have been going, I think it's likely to be something like Godzilla
or Ghidra the Three-Headed Monster, but I'm an optimist. I'm still hoping for
the stainless steel cookware."
"I
ain't goan."
"You're
going, all right," Eddie said, and walked behind her chair. She began
struggling again, but the gunslinger had made these knots, and her struggles
only drew them lighter. Soon enough she saw this and ceased. She was full of
poison but far from stupid. But she looked back over her shoulder at Eddie with
a grin which made him recoil a little. It seemed to him the most evil
expression he had ever seen on a human face.
"Well,
maybe I be goan on a little way," she said, "but maybe not s'far's
you think, white boy. And sure-God not s'fast's you think."
"What
do you mean?"
Thai
leering, over-the-shoulder grin again.
"You
find out, while boy." Her eyes, mad but cogent, shifted briefly lo the
gunslinger. "You bofe be findin dat out."
Eddie wrapped
his hands around the bicycle grips at the ends of the push-handles on the back
of her wheelchair and they began north again, now leaving not only footprints
but the twin tracks of the Lady's chair as they moved up the seemingly endless
beach.
9
The day
was a nightmare.
It was
hard to calculate distance travelled when you were moving along a landscape
which varied so little, but Eddie knew their progress had slowed to a crawl.
And he
knew who was responsible.
Oh yeah.
You bofe befindin dat out, Delta had said, and they hadn't been
on the move more than half an hour before the finding out began.
Pushing.
That was
the first thing. Pushing the wheelchair up a beach of fine sand would have been
as impossible as driving a car through deep unplowed snow. This beach, with its
gritty, marly surface, made moving the chair possible but far from easy. It
would roll along smoothly enough for awhile, crunching over shells and popping
little pebbles to either side of its hard rubber tires . . . and then it would
hit a dip where finer sand had drifted, and Eddie would have to shove,
grunting, to get it and its solid unhelpful passenger through it. The sand
sucked greedily at the wheels. You had to simultaneously push and throw your
weight against the handles of the chair in a downward direction, or it and its
bound occupant would tumble over face-first onto the beach.
Delta
would cackle as he tried to move her without upending her. "You havin a
good time back dere, honey-chile?" she asked each time the chair ran into
one of these drybogs.
When the
gunslinger moved over to help, Eddie motioned him away. "You'll get your
chance," he said. "We'll switch off." But I think my turns
are going to be a hell of a lot longer than his, a voice in his head spoke
up. The way he looks, he's going to have his hands full just keeping himself
moving before much longer, let alone moving the woman in this chair. No sir, Eddie, I'm afraid this Bud's for you. It's
God's revenge, you know it? All those years you spent as a junkie, and guess
what? You're finally the pusher!
He uttered
a short out-of-breath laugh.
"What's
so funny, white boy?" Delta asked, and although Eddie thought she meant to
sound sarcastic, it came out sounding just a tiny bit angry.
Ain't
supposed to be any laughs in this for me, he
thought. None at all. Not as far as she's concerned.
"You
wouldn’t understand, babe. Just let it lie."
"I be
lettin you lie before this be all over," she said. "Be tellin
you and yo bad-ass buddy there lie in pieces all ovah dis beach. Sho. Meantime
you better save yo breaf to do yo pushin with. You already sound like you
gettin a little sho't winded."
"Well,
you talk for both of us, then," Eddie pan led. "You never seem
lo run out of wind."
"I
goan break wind, graymeal! Goan break it ovah yo dead face!"
"Promises,
promises." Eddie shoved the chair out of the sand and onto relatively
easier going—for awhile, al least The sun was not yet fully up, but he had
already worked up a sweat.
This is
going to be an amusing and informative day, he
thought. I can see that already.
Slopping.
That was
the next thing.
They had
stuck a firm stretch of beach. Eddie pushed the chair along faster, thinking
vaguely that if he could keep this bit of extra speed, he might be able lo
drive right through the next sandtrap he happened to strike on pure impetus.
All at
once the chair slopped. Slopped dead. The crossbar on the back hit Eddie's
chest with a thump. He grunted. Roland looked around, but not even the
gunslinger's cal-quick reflexes could slop the Lady's chair from going over
exactly as it had threatened to do in each of the sandtrap. It went and Delia
went with it, tied and helpless but cackling wildly. She still was when Roland
and Eddie finally managed to right the chair again. Some of the ropes had drawn
so light they must be culling cruelly into her flesh, cutting off the
circulation to her extremities; her forehead was slashed and blood trickled
into her eyebrows. She went on cackling just the same.
The men
were both gasping, out of breath, by the time the chair was on its wheels
again. The combined weight of it and the woman in it must have totaled two
hundred and fifty pounds, most of it chair. It occurred to Eddie that if the
gunslinger had snatched Delta from his own when, 1987, the chair might
have weighed as much as sixty pounds less.
Detta
giggled, snorted, blinked blood out of her eyes.
"Looky
here, you boys done opsot me," she said.
"Call
your lawyer," Eddie muttered. "Sue us."
"An
got yoselfs all tuckered out gittin me back on top agin. Must have taken you
ten minutes, too."
The
gunslinger took a piece of his shirt—enough of it was gone now so the rest
didn't much matter—and reached forward with his left hand to mop the blood
away from the cut on her forehead. She snapped at him, and from the savage
click those teeth made when they came together, Eddie thought that, if Roland
had been only one instant slower in drawing back, Detta Walker would have
evened up the number of fingers on his hands for him again.
She
cackled and stared at him with meanly merry eyes, but the gunslinger saw fear
hidden far back in those eyes. She was afraid of him. Afraid because he was The
Really Bad Man.
Why was he
The Really Bad Man? Maybe because, on some deeper level, she sensed what he
knew about her.
"Almos'
got you, graymeat," she said. "Almos' got you that time." And
cackled, witchlike.
"Hold
her head," the gunslinger said evenly. "She bites like a
weasel."
Eddie held
it while the gunslinger carefully wiped the wound clean. It wasn't wide and didn't
look deep, but the gunslinger took no chances; he walked slowly down to the
water, soaked the piece of shirting in the salt water, and then came back.
She began
to scream as he approached.
"Doan
you be touchin me wid dat thing! Doan you be touchin
me wid no water from where them poison things come from! Git it away! Git it away!"
"
Hold her head,'' Roland said in the same even voice. She was whipping it from
side to side. "I don't want to take any chances."
Eddie held
it... and squeezed it when she tried to shake free. She saw he meant business
and immediately became still, showing no more fear of the damp rag. It had been
only sham, after all.
She smiled
at Roland as he bathed the cut, carefully washing out the last clinging
particles of grit.
"In
fact, you look mo than jest tuckered out," Delta observed.
"You look sick, graymeat. I don't think you ready fo no long trip.
I don't think you ready fo nuthin like dat."
Eddie
examined the chair's rudimentary controls. It had an emergency hand-brake which
locked both wheels. Delta had worked her right hand over there, had wailed
patiently until she thought Eddie was going fast enough, and then she had
yanked the brake, purposely spilling herself over. Why? To slow them down, that
was all. There was no reason lo do such a thing, but a woman like Delia, Eddie
thought, needed no reasons. A woman like Delia was perfectly willing to do such
things out of sheer meanness.
Roland
loosened her bonds a bit so the blood could flow more freely, then lied her
hand firmly away from the brake.
"That
be all right, Mister Man," Delia said, offering him a bright smile filled
with too many teeth. "That be all right jest the same. There be other ways
lo slow you boys down. All sorts of ways."
"Let's
go," the gunslinger said tonelessly.
"You
all right, man?" Eddie asked. The gunslinger looked very pale.
"Yes.
Let's go."
They
started up the beach again.
10
The
gunslinger insisted on pushing for an hour, and Eddie
gave way to him reluctantly. Roland got her through the first sandtrap, but
Eddie had to pitch in and help get the wheelchair out of the second. The
gunslinger was gasping for air, sweat standing out on his forehead in large
beads.
Eddie let
him go on a little further, and Roland was quite adept at weaving his way
around the places where the sand was loose enough to bog the wheels, but the
chair finally became mired again and Eddie could bear only a few moments of
watching Roland struggle to push it free, gasping, chest heaving, while the
witch (for so Eddie had come to think of her) howled with laughter and actually
threw her body backwards in the chair to make the task that much more
difficult— and then he shouldered the gunslinger aside and heaved the chair out
of the sand with one angry lurching lunge. The chair tottered and now he
saw/sensed her shifting forward as much as the ropes would allow, doing
this with a weird prescience at the exactly proper moment, trying to topple
herself again.
Roland threw
his weight on the back of the chair next to Eddie's and it settled back.
Detta
looked around and gave them a wink of such obscene conspiracy that Eddie felt
his arms crawl up in gooseflesh.
"You
almost opsot me agin, boys," she said. "You want to look out
for me, now. I ain't nuthin but a old crippled lady, so you want to have a care
for me now."
She
laughed . . . laughed fit to split.
Although
Eddie cared for the woman that was the other part of her—was near to loving her
just on the basis of the brief time he had seen her and spoken with her—he felt
his hands itch to close around her windpipe and choke that laugh, choke it
until she could never laugh again.
She peered
around again, saw what he was thinking as if it had been printed on him in red
ink, and laughed all the harder. Her eyes dared him. Go on, graymeat. Go on.
You want to do it? Go on and do it.
In other
words, don't just tip the chair; tip the woman, Eddie thought. Tip her over for good. That's what she wants.
For Detta, being killed by a white man may be the only real goal she has in
life.
"Come
on," he said, and began pushing again. "We are gonna tour the
seacoast, sweet thang, like it or not." "Fuck you," she spat.
"Cram
it, babe," Eddie responded pleasantly. The gunslinger walked beside him,
head down.
11
They came
to a considerable outcropping of rocks when the sun said it was about eleven
and here they stopped for nearly an hour, taking the shade as the sun climbed
toward the roofpeak of the day. Eddie and the gunslinger ate leftovers from the
previous night's kill. Eddie offered a portion to Delta, who again refused,
telling him she knew what they wanted to do, and if they wanted to do it, they
best to do it with their bare hands and stop trying to poison her. That, she
said, was the coward's way.
Eddie's
right, the gunslinger mused. This woman
has made her own chain of memories. She knows everything that happened to her
last night, even though she was really fast asleep.
She
believed they had brought her pieces of meat which smelled of death and
putrescence, had taunted her with it while they themselves ate salted beef and
drank some sort of beer from flasks. She believed they had, every now and then,
held pieces of their own untainted supper out to her, drawing it away at the
last moment when she snatched at it with her teeth—and laughing while they did
it, of course. In the world (or at least in the mind) of Delta Walker, Honk
Mahfahs only did two things to brown women: raped them or laughed at them.
Or both at the same time.
It was
almost funny. Eddie Dean had last seen beef during his ride in the
sky-carriage, and Roland had seen none since the last of his jerky was eaten,
Gods alone knew how long ago. As far as beer ... he cast his mind back.
Tull.
There had
been beer in Tull. Beer and beef.
God, it
would be good to have a beer. His throat ached and it would be so good to have
a beer to cool that ache. Better even than the astin from Eddie's world.
They drew
off a distance from her.
"Ain't
I good nough cump'ny for white boys like you?" she cawed after them.
"Or did you jes maybe want to have a pull on each other one's little bitty
white candle?"
She threw
her head back and screamed laughter that frightened the gulls up, crying, from
the rocks where they had been met in convention a quarter of a mile away.
The
gunslinger sat with his hands dangling between his knees, thinking. Finally he
raised his head and told Eddie, "I can only understand about one word in
every ten she says."
"I'm
way ahead of you," Eddie replied. "I'm getting at least two in every
three. Doesn't matter. Most of it comes back to honky mahfah."
Roland
nodded. "Do many of the dark-skinned people talk that way where you come
from? Her other didn't."
Eddie shook
his head and laughed. "No. And I'll tell you something sort of funny—at
least I think it's sort of funny, but maybe that's just because there isn't all
that much to laugh at out here. It's not real. It's not real and she doesn't
even know it-Roland looked at him and said nothing.
"Remember
when you washed off her forehead, how she pretended she was scared of the
water?"
"Yes."
"You
knew she was pretending?"
"Not
at first, but quite soon."
Eddie
nodded. "That was an act, and she knew it was an act. But she's a
pretty good actress and she fooled both of us for a few seconds. The way she's
talking is an act, too. But it's not as good. It's so stupid, so goddam hokey!"
"You
believe she pretends well only when she knows she's doing it?"
"Yes.
She sounds like a cross between the darkies in this book called Mandingo I read
once and Butterfly McQueen in Gone with the Wind. I know you don't know
those names, but what I mean is she talks like a cliche. Do you know that
word?"
"It
means what is always said or believed by people who think only a little or not
at all."
"Yeah.
I couldn't have said it half so good."
''Ain' t
you boys done jerkin on dem candles a yours yet? " Delta's voice was
growing hoarse and cracked. "Or maybe it's just you can't fine em. Dat
it?"
"Come
on." The gunslinger got slowly to his feet. He swayed for a moment, saw
Eddie looking at him, and smiled. "I'll be all right."
"For
how long?"
"As
long as I have to be," the gunslinger answered, and the serenity in his
voice chilled Eddie's heart.
12
That night
the gunslinger used his last sure live cartridge to make their kill. He would
start systematically testing the ones he believed to be duds tomorrow night,
but he believed it was pretty much as Eddie had said: They were down to beating
the damned things to death.
It was
like the other nights: the fire, the cooking, the shelling, the eating—eating
which was now slow and unenthusiastic. We're just gassing up, Eddie
thought. They offered food to Detta, who screamed and laughed and cursed and
asked how long they was goan take her for a fool, and then she began throwing
her body wildly from one side to the other, never minding how her bonds grew
steadily tighter, only trying to upset the chair to one side or the other so
they would have to pick her up again before they could eat.
Just
before she could manage the trick, Eddie grabbed her and Roland braced the
wheels on either sides with rocks.
"I'll
loosen the ropes a bit if you'll be still," Roland told her.
"Suck
shit out my ass, mahfah!"
"I
don't understand if that means yes or no."
She looked
at him, eyes narrowed, suspecting some buried barb of satire in that calm
voice (Eddie also wondered, but couldn't tell if there was or not), and after a
moment she said sulkily, "I be still. Too damn
hungry to kick up much dickens. You boys goan give me some real food or you jes
goan starve me to death? Dat yo plan? You too chickenshit to choke me and I
ain't nev' goan eat no poison, so dat must be you plan. Starve me out.
Well, we see, sho. We goan see. Sho we are."
She
offered them her bone-chilling sickle of a grin again.
Not long
after she fell asleep.
Eddie
touched the side of Roland's face. Roland glanced at him but did not pull away
from the touch.
"I'm
all right."
"Yeah,
you're Jim-dandy. Well, I tell you what, Jim, we didn't get along very far
today."
"I
know." There was also the matter of having used the last live shell, but
that was knowledge Eddie could do without, at least tonight. Eddie wasn't sick,
but he was exhausted. Too exhausted for more bad news.
No, he's
not sick, not yet, but if he goes too long without rest, gets tired enough,
he'll get sick.
In a way,
Eddie already was; both of them were. Cold-sores had developed at the corners
of Eddie's mouth, and there was scaly patches on his skin. The gunslinger could
feel his teeth loosening up in their sockets, and the flesh between his toes
had begun to crack open and bleed, as had that between his remaining fingers.
They were eating, but they were eating the same thing, day in and day out. They
could go on that way for a time, but in the end they would die as surely as if
they had starved.
What we
have is Shipmate's Disease on dry land, Roland
thought. Simple as that. How funny. We need fruit. We need greens.
Eddie
nodded toward the Lady. "She's going to go right on making it tough."
"Unless
the other one inside her comes back."
"That
would be nice, but we can't count on it," Eddie said. He took a piece of
blackened claw and began to scrawl aimless patterns in the dirt. "Any idea
how far the next door might be?"
Roland
shook his head.
"I
only ask because if the distance between Number Two and Number Three is the
same as the distance between Number One and Number Two, we could be in deep
shit."
"We're
in deep shit right now."
"Neck
deep," Eddie agreed moodily. "I just keep wondering how long I can
tread water."
Roland
clapped him on the shoulder, a gesture of affection so rare it made Eddie
blink.
"There's
one thing that Lady doesn't know," he said.
"Oh?
What's that?"
"We Honk
Mahfahs can tread water a long time."
Eddie
laughed at that, laughed hard, smothering his laughter against his arm so he
wouldn't wake Delta up. He'd had enough of her for one day, please and thank
you.
The
gunslinger looked at him, smiling. "I'm going to turn in," he said.
"Be—"
"—on
my guard. Yeah. I will."
13
Screaming
was next.
Eddie fell
asleep the moment his head touched the bunched bundle of his shirt, and it
seemed only five minutes later when Delta began screaming.
He was
awake at once, ready for anything, some King Lobster arisen from the deep to
take revenge for its slain children or a horror down from the hills. It seemed
he was awake at once, anyway, but the gunslinger was already on his feet, a
gun in his left hand.
When she
saw they were both awake, Delta promptly quit screaming.
"Jes
thought I'd see if you boys on yo toes," she said. "Might be woofs.
Looks likely enough country for 'em. Wanted to make sho if I saw me a woof
creepin up, I could get you on yo feet in time." But there was no fear in
her eyes; they glinted with mean amusement.
"Christ,"
Eddie said groggily. The moon was up but barely risen; they had been asleep
less than two hours.
The
gunslinger bolstered his gun.
"Don't
do it again," he said to the Lady in the wheelchair.
"What
you goan do if I do? Rape me?"
"If
we were going to rape you, you would be one well-raped woman by now," the
gunslinger said evenly. "Don't do it again."
He lay
down again, pulling his blanket over him.
Christ,
dear Christ, Eddie thought, what a mess this
is, what a fucking . . . and that was as far as the thought went before
trailing off into exhausted sleep again and then she was splintering the air
with fresh shrieks, shrieking like a firebell, and Eddie was up again, his body
flaming with adrenaline, hands clenched, and then she was laughing, her voice
hoarse and raspy.
Eddie
glanced up and saw the moon had advanced less than ten degrees since she had
awakened them the first time.
She means
to keep on doing it, he thought wearily. She
means to stay awake and watch us, and when she's sure we're getting down into
deep sleep, that place where you recharge, she's going to open her mouth and
start bellowing again. She'll do it and do it and do it until she doesn't have
any voice left to bellow with.
Her
laughter stopped abruptly. Roland was advancing on her, a dark shape in the
moonlight.
"You
jes stay away from me, graymeat," Delta said, but there was a quiver of
nerves in her voice. "You ain't goan do nothing to me."
Roland
stood before her and for a moment Eddie was sure, completely sure, that the
gunslinger had reached the end of his patience and would simply swat her like a
fly. Instead, astoundingly, he dropped to one knee before her like a suitor
about to propose marriage.
"Listen,"
he said, and Eddie could scarcely credit the silky quality of Roland's voice.
He could see much the same deep surprise on Delta's face, only there fear was
joined to it. "Listen to me, Odetta."
"Who
you callin O-Detta? Dat ain my name."
"Shut
up, bitch," the gunslinger said in a growl, and then, reverting to that
same silken voice: "If you hear me, and if you can control her at
all—"
"Why
you talkin at me dat way? Why you talkin like you was talkin to somebody else?
You quit dat honky jive! You jes quit it now, you hear me?"
"—keep
her shut up. I can gag her, but I don't want to do that. A hard gag is a
dangerous business. People choke."
"YOU
QUIT IT YOU HONKY BULLSHIT VOODOO MAHFAH!"
"Odetta."
His voice was a whisper, like the onset of rain.
She fell silent,
staring at him with huge eyes. Eddie had never in his life seen such hate and
fear combined in human eyes.
"I
don't think this bitch would care if she did die on a hard gag. She
wants to die, but maybe even more, she wants you to die. But you haven't
died, not so far, and I don't think Delta is brand-new in your life. She
feels too at home in you, so maybe you can hear what I'm saying, and maybe you
can keep some control over her even if you can't come out yet.
"Don't
let her wake us up a third time, Odetta.
"I
don't want to gag her.
"But
if I have to, I will."
He got up,
left without looking back, rolled himself into his blanket again, and promptly
fell asleep.
She was
still staring at him, eyes wide, nostrils flaring.
"Honky
voodoo bullshit," she whispered.
Eddie lay
down, but this time it was a long time before sleep came to claim him, in spite
of his deep tiredness. He would come to the brink, anticipate her screams, and
snap back.
Three
hours or so later, with the moon now going the other way, he finally dropped
off.
Delta did
no more screaming that night, either because Roland had frightened her, or
because she wanted to conserve her voice for future alarums and excursions,
or—possibly, just possibly—because Odetta had heard and had exercised the
control the gunslinger had asked of her.
Eddie
slept at last but awoke sodden and unrefreshed. He looked toward the chair,
hoping against hope that it would be Odetta, please God let it be Odetta this
morning—
"Mawnin,
whitebread," Delta said, and grinned her sharklike grin at him.
"Thought you was goan sleep till noon.
You cain't
be doin nuthin like dat, kin you? We got to bus us some miles here,
ain't dat d'fac of d'matter? Sho! An I think you the one goan have to do
most of de bustin, cause dat other fella, one with de voodoo eyes, he lookin mo
peaky all de time, I declare he do! Yes! I doan think he goan be eatin anythin
much longer, not even dat fancy smoked meat you whitebread boys keep fo
when you done joikin on each other one's little bitty white candles. So let's
go, whitebread! Delta doan want to be d'one keepin you."
Her lids
and her voice both dropped a little; her eyes peeked at him slyly from their
corners.
"Not
f'um startin out, leastways."
Dis goan
be a day you 'member, whitebread, those sly eyes
promised. Dis goan be a day you 'member for a long, long time.
Sho.
14
They made
three miles that day, maybe a shade under. Delta's chair upset twice. Once she
did it herself, working her fingers slowly and unobtrusively over to that
handbrake again and yanking it. The second time Eddie did with no help at all,
shoving too hard in one of those goddamned sandtraps. Thai was near the end of
the day, and he simply panicked, thinking he just wasn't going lo be
able lo gel her out this lime, just wasn't. So he gave that one last
titanic heave with his quivering arms, and of course it had been much too
hard, and over she had gone, like Humpty Dumpty falling off his wall, and he
and Roland had to labor to get her upright again. They finished the job just in
time. The rope under her breasts was now pulled taut across her windpipe. The
gunslinger's efficient running slipknot was choking her to death. Her face had
gone a funny blue color, she was on the verge of losing consciousness, but
still she went on wheezing her nasty laughter.
Let her
be, why don't you? Eddie nearly said as Roland
bent quickly forward to loosen the knot. Let her choke! I don't know if she
wants to do herself like you said, but I know she wants to do US . . . so let
her go!
Then he
remembered Odetta (although their encounter had been so brief and seemed so
long ago that memory was growing dim) and moved forward to help.
The
gunslinger pushed him impatiently away with one hand. "Only room for
one."
When the
rope was loosened and the Lady gasping harshly for breath (which she expelled
in gusts of her angry laughter), he turned and looked at Eddie critically.
"I think we ought to stop for the night."
"A
little further." He was almost pleading. "I can go a little
further."
"Sho!
He be one strong buck He be good fo choppin one mo row cotton and he still have
enough lef’ to give yo little bitty white candle one fine suckin-on
t'night."
She still
wouldn't eat, and her face was becoming all stark lines and angles. Her eyes
glittered in deepening sockets.
Roland
gave her no notice at all, only studied Eddie closely. At last he nodded.
"A little way. Not far, but a little way."
Twenty
minutes later Eddie called it quits himself. His arms felt like Jell-O.
They sat
in the shadows of the rocks, listening to the gulls, watching the tide come in,
waiting for the sun to go down and the lobstrosities to come out and begin
their cumbersome cross-examinations.
Roland
told Eddie in a voice too low for Delta to hear that he thought they were out
of live shells. Eddie's mouth tightened down a little but that was all. Roland
was pleased.
"So
you'll have to brain one of them yourself," Roland said. "I'm too
weak to handle a rock big enough to do the job . . . and still be sure."
Eddie was
now the one to do the studying.
He had no
liking for what he saw.
The
gunslinger waved his scrutiny away.
"Never
mind," he said. "Never mind, Eddie. What is, is."
"Ka,"
Eddie said.
The
gunslinger nodded and smiled faintly. "Ka."
"Kaka,"
Eddie said, and they looked at each other, and both laughed. Roland looked
startled and perhaps even a little afraid of the rusty sound emerging from his
mouth. His laughter did not last long. When it had stopped he looked distant
and melancholy.
"Dat
laffin mean you fine'ly managed to joik each other off?" Delta cried over
at them in her hoarse, failing voice. "When you goan get down to de pokin?
Dat's what I want to see! Dat pokin!"
15
Eddie made
the kill.
Delta
refused to eat, as before. Eddie ate half a piece so she could see, then
offered her the other half.
"Nossuh!"
she said, eyes sparking at him. "No SUH! You done put de poison in
t'other end. One you trine to give me."
Without
saying anything, Eddie look the rest of the piece, put it in his mouth, chewed,
swallowed.
"Doan
mean a thing," Delia said sulkily. "Leave me alone, graymeat."
Eddie
wouldn't
He brought
her another piece.
"You tear it in half. Give me whichever you want I'll eat it, then you
eat the rest."
"Ain’t
fallin fo none o yo honky tricks, Mist' Chahlie. Git away f'um me is what I
said, and git away f'um me is what I meant"
16
She did
not scream in the night. . . but she was still there the next morning.
17
That day
they made only two miles, although Delia made no effort to upset her chair;
Eddie thought she might be growing too weak for acts of attempted sabotage. Or
perhaps she had seen there was really no need for them. Three fatal factors
were drawing inexorably together: Eddie's weariness, the terrain, which after
endless days of endless days of sameness, was finally beginning to change, and
Roland's deteriorating condition.
There were
less sandtraps, but that was cold comfort. The ground was becoming grainier,
more and more like cheap and unprofitable soil and less and less like sand (in
places bunches of weeds grew, looking almost ashamed to be there), and there
were so many large rocks now jutting from this odd combination of sand and
soil that Eddie found himself detouring around them as he had previously tried
to detour the Lady's chair around the sandtraps. And soon enough, he saw, there
would be no beach left at all. The hills, brown and cheerless things, were
drawing steadily closer. Eddie could see the ravines which curled between them,
looking like chops made by an awkward giant wielding a blunt cleaver. That
night, before falling asleep, he heard what sounded like a very large cat
squalling far up in one of them.
The beach
had seemed endless, but he was coming to realize it had an end after all.
Somewhere up ahead, those hills were simply going to squeeze it out of
existence. The eroded hills would march down to the sea and then into it, where
they might become first a cape or peninsula of sorts, and then a series of
archipelagoes.
That worried
him, but Roland's condition worried him more.
This time
the gunslinger seemed not so much to be burning as fading, losing
himself, becoming transparent.
The red
lines had appeared again, marching relentlessly up the underside of his right
arm toward the elbow.
For the
last two days Eddie had looked constantly ahead, squinting into the distance,
hoping to see the door, the door, the magic door. For the last two days he had
waited for Odetta to reappear.
Neither
had appeared.
Before
falling asleep that night two terrible thoughts came to him, like some joke
with a double punchline:
What if
there was no door?
What if
Odetta Holmes was dead?
18
"Rise
and shine, mahfah!" Detta screeched him out of unconsciousness. "I
think it jes be you and me now, honey-chile. Think yo frien done finally passed
on. I think yo frien be pokin the devil down in hell."
Eddie
looked at the rolled huddled shape of Roland and for one terrible moment he
thought the bitch was right. Then the gunslinger stirred, moaned furrily, and
pawed himself into a sitting position.
"Well
looky yere!" Detta had screamed so much that now there were moments when
her voice disappeared almost entirely, becoming no more than a weird whisper,
like winter wind under a door. "I thought you was dead, Mister Man!"
Roland was
getting slowly to his feet. He still looked to Eddie like a man using the rungs
of an invisible ladder to make it. Eddie felt an angry sort of pity, and this
was a familiar emotion, oddly nostalgic. After a moment he understood. It was
like when he and Henry used to watch the fights on TV, and one fighter would
hurt the other, hurt him terribly, again and again, and the crowd would be
screaming for blood, and Henry would be screaming for blood, but Eddie
only sat there, feeling that angry pity, that dumb disgust; he'd sat there
sending thought-waves at the referee: Stop it, man, are you fucking blind?
He's dying out there! DYING! Stop the fucking fight!
There was
no way to stop this one.
Roland
looked at her from his haunted feverish eyes. "A lot of people have
thought that, Detta." He looked at Eddie. "You ready?"
"Yeah,
I guess so. Are you?"
"Yes."
"Can
you?"
"Yes."
They went
on.
Around ten
o'clock Delta began rubbing her temples with her fingers.
"Stop,"
she said. "I feel sick. Feel like I goan throw up."
"Probably
that big meal you ate last night," Eddie said, and went on pushing.
"You should have skipped dessert. I told you that chocolate layer cake was
heavy."
"I goan
throw up! I—"
"Stop,
Eddie!" the gunslinger said.
Eddie
stopped.
The woman
in the chair suddenly twisted galvanically, as if an electric shock had run
through her. Her eyes popped wide open, glaring at nothing.
"I
BROKE YO PLATE YOU STINKIN OLE BLUE LADY!" she screamed. "I
BROKE IT AND I'M FUCKIN GLAD ID-"
She
suddenly slumped forward in her chair. If not for the ropes, she would have
fallen out of it.
Christ,
she's dead, she's had a stroke and she's dead, Eddie thought. He started around the chair, remembered how sly and
tricksy she could be, and stopped as suddenly as he had started. He looked at
Roland. Roland looked back at him evenly, his eyes giving away not a thing.
Then she
moaned. Her eyes opened.
Her eyes.
Odetta's eyes.
"Dear
God, I've fainted again, haven't I?" she said. "I'm sorry you had to
tie me in. My stupid legs! I think I could sit up a little if you—"
That was
when Roland's own legs slowly came unhinged and he swooned some thirty miles
south of the place where the Western Sea's beach came to an end.
re-shuffle
1
To Eddie
Dean, he and the Lady no longer seemed to be trudging or even walking up what
remained of the beach. They seemed to be flying.
Odetta
Holmes still neither liked nor trusted Roland; that was clear. But she
recognized how desperate his condition had become, and responded to that. Now,
instead of pushing a dead clump of steel and rubber to which a human body just
happened to be attached, Eddie felt almost as if he were pushing a glider.
Go with
her. Before, I was watching out for you and that was important. Now I'll only
slow you down.
He came to
realize how right the gunslinger was almost at once. Eddie pushed the chair;
Odetta pumped it.
One of the
gunslinger's revolvers was stuck in the waistband of Eddie's pants.
Do you
remember when I told you to be on your guard and you weren't?
Yes.
I'm
telling you again: Be on your guard. Every
moment. If her other comes back, don't wait even a second. Brain her.
What if I
kill her?
Then it's
the end. But if she kills you, that's
the end, too. And if she comes back she'll try. She'll try.
Eddie
hadn't wanted to leave him. It wasn't just that cat-scream in the night
(although he kept thinking about it); it was simply that Roland had become his
only touchstone in this world. He and Odetta didn't belong here.
Still, he
realized that the gunslinger had been right.
"Do
you want to rest?" he asked Odetta. "There's more food. A
little."
"Not
yet," she answered, although her voice sounded tired. "Soon."
"All
right, but at least stop pumping. You're weak. Your . . . your stomach, you
know."
"All
right." She turned, her face gleaming with sweat, and favored him with a
smile that both weakened and strengthened him. He could have died for such a
smile. . . and thought he would, if circumstances demanded.
He hoped
to Christ circumstances wouldn't, but it surely wasn't out of the question.
Time had become something so crucial it screamed.
She put
her hands in her lap and he went on pushing. The tracks the chair left behind
were now dimmer; the beach had become steadily firmer, but it was also littered
with rubble that could cause an accident. You wouldn't have to help one happen
at the speed they were going. A really bad accident might hurt Odetta and that
would be bad; such an accident could also wreck the chair, and that would be
bad for them and probably worse for the gunslinger, who would almost surely die
alone. And if Roland died, they would be trapped in this world forever.
With
Roland too sick and weak to walk, Eddie had been forced to face one simple
fact: there were three people here, and two of them were cripples.
So what
hope, what chance was there?
The chair.
The chair
was the hope, the whole hope, and nothing but the hope.
So help
them God.
2
The
gunslinger had regained consciousness shortly after Eddie dragged him into the
shade of a rock outcropping. His face, where it was not ashy, was a hectic red.
His chest rose and fell rapidly. His right arm was a network of twisting red
lines.
"Feed
her," he croaked at Eddie.
"You—"
"Never
mind me. I'll be all right. Feed her. She'll eat now, I think. And you'll need
her strength."
"Roland,
what if she's just pretending to be—"
The
gunslinger gestured impatiently.
"She's
not pretending to be anything, except alone in her body. I know it and you do,
too. It's in her face. Feed her, for the sake of your father, and while she
eats, come back to me. Every minute counts now. Every second."
Eddie got
up, and the gunslinger pulled him back with his left hand. Sick or not, his
strength was still there.
"And
say nothing about the other. Whatever she tells you, however she
explains, don't contradict her."
"Why?"
"I
don't know. I just know it's wrong. Now do as I say and don't waste any more
time!"
Odetta had
been sitting in her chair, looking out at the sea with an expression of mild
and bemused amazement. When Eddie offered her the chunks of lobster left over
from the previous night, she smiled ruefully. "I would if I could,"
she said, "but you know what happens."
Eddie, who
had no idea what she was talking about, could only shrug and say, "It
wouldn't hurt to try again, Odetta. You need to eat, you know. We've got to go
as fast as we can."
She
laughed a little and touched his hand. He felt something like an electric
charge jump from her to him. And it was her; Odetta. He knew it as well as
Roland did.
"I
love you, Eddie. You have tried so hard. Been so patient. So has he—" She
nodded toward the place where the gunslinger lay propped against the rocks,
watching. "—but he is a hard man to love."
"Yeah.
Don't I know it."
"I'll
try one more time.
"For
you."
She smiled
and he felt all the world move for her, because of her, and he thought Please
God, I have never had much, so please don't take her away from me again.
Please.
She took
the chunks of lobster-meat, wrinkled her nose in a rueful comic expression, and
looked up at him.
"Must
I?"
"Just
give it a shot," he said.
"I
never ate scallops again," she said.
"Pardon?"
"I
thought I told you."
"You
might have," he said, and gave a little nervous laugh. What the gunslinger
had said about not letting her know about the other loomed very large
inside his mind just then.
"We
had them for dinner one night when I was ten or eleven. I hated the way they
tasted, like little rubber balls, and later I vomited them up. I never ate them
again. But..." She sighed. "As you say, I'll 'give it a shot.' "
She put a
piece in her mouth like a child taking a spoonful of medicine she knows will
taste nasty. She chewed slowly at first, then more rapidly. She swallowed. Took
another piece. Chewed, swallowed. Another. Now she was nearly wolfing it.
"Whoa,
slow down!" Eddie said.
"It
must be another kind! That's it, of course it is!" She looked
at Eddie shiningly. "We've moved further up the beach and the species has
changed! I'm no longer allergic, it seems! It doesn't taste nasty, like
it did before. . . and I did try to keep it down, didn't I?" She
looked at him nakedly. "I tried very hard."
"Yeah."
To himself he sounded like a radio broadcasting a very distant signal. She
thinks she's been eating every day and then upchucking everything. She thinks
that's why she's so weak. Christ Almighty. "Yeah, you tried like
hell."
"It
tastes—" These words were hard to pick up because her mouth was full.
"It tastes so good!" She laughed. The sound was delicate and
lovely. "It's going to stay down! I'm going to take nourishment! I know
it! I feel it!"
"Just
don't overdo it," he cautioned, and gave her one of the water-skins.
"You're not used to it. All that—" He swallowed and there was an
audible (audible to him, at least) click in his throat. "All that throwing
up."
"Yes.
Yes."
"I
need to talk to Roland for a few minutes."
"All
right."
But before
he could go she grasped his hand again.
"Thank
you, Eddie. Thank you for being so patient. And thank him." She
paused gravely. "Thank him, and don't tell him that he scares me."
"I
won't," Eddie had said, and went back to the gunslinger.
3
Even when
she wasn't pushing, Odetta was a help. She navigated with the prescience of a
woman who has spent a long time weaving a wheelchair through a world that would
not acknowledge handicapped people such as she for years to come.
"Left,"
she'd call, and Eddie would gee to the left, gliding past a rock snarling out
of the pasty grit like a decayed fang. On his own, he might have seen it... or
maybe not.
"Right,"
she called, and Eddie hawed right, barely missing one of the increasingly rare
sandtraps.
They
finally stopped and Eddie lay down, breathing hard.
"Sleep,"
Odetta said. "An hour. I'll wake you."
Eddie
looked at her.
"I'm
not lying. I observed your friend's condition, Eddie-"
"He's
not exactly my friend, you kn—"
"—and
I know how important time is. I won't let you sleep longer than an hour out of
a misguided sense of mercy. I can tell the sun quite well. You won't do that
man any good by wearing yourself out, will you?"
"No,"
he said, thinking: But you don't understand. If I sleep and Delta Walker
comes back—
"Sleep,
Eddie," she said, and since Eddie was too weary (and too much in love) to
do other than trust her, he did. He slept and she woke him when she said she
would and she was still Odetta, and they went on, and now she was pumping
again, helping. They raced up the diminishing beach toward the door Eddie kept
frantically looking for and kept not seeing.
4
When he
left Odetta eating her first meal in days and went back to the gunslinger,
Roland seemed a little better.
"Hunker
down," he said to Eddie.
Eddie
hunkered.
"Leave
me the skin that's half full. All I need. Take her to the door."
"What
if I don't—"
"Find
it? You'll find it. The first two were there; this one will be, too. If you get
there before sundown tonight, wait for dark and then kill double. You'll need
to leave her food and make sure she's sheltered as well as she can be. If you
don't reach it tonight, kill triple. Here."
He handed
over one of his guns.
Eddie took
it with respect, surprised as before by how heavy it was.
"I
thought the shells were all losers."
"Probably
are. But I've loaded with the ones I believe were wetted least—three from the
buckle side of the left belt, three from the buckle side of the right. One may
fire. Two, if you're lucky. Don't try them on the crawlies." His eyes
considered Eddie briefly. "There may be other things out there."
"You
heard it too, didn't you?"
"If
you mean something yowling in the hills, yes. If you mean the Bugger-Man, as
your eyes say, no. I heard a wildcat in the brakes, that's all, maybe with a
voice four times the size of its body. It may be nothing you can't drive off
with a stick. But there's her to think about. If her other comes back,
you may have to—"
"I
won't kill her, if that's what you're thinking!"
"You
may have to wing her. You understand?"
Eddie gave
a reluctant nod. Goddam shells probably wouldn't fire anyway, so there was no
sense getting his panties in a bunch about it.
"When
you get to the door, leave her. Shelter her as well as you can, and come back
to me with the chair."
"And
the gun?"
The
gunslinger's eyes blazed so brightly that Eddie snapped his head back, as if
Roland had thrust a flaming torch in his face. "Gods, yes! Leave her with
a loaded gun, when her other might come back at any time? Are you
insane?"
"The
shells—"
"Fuck
the shells!" the gunslinger cried, and a
freak drop in the wind allowed the words to carry. Odetta turned her head,
looked at them for a long moment, then looked back toward the sea. "Leave
it with her not!"
Eddie kept
his voice low in case the wind should drop again. "What if something comes
down from the brakes while I'm on my way back here? Some kind of cat four times
bigger than its voice, instead of the other way around? Something you can't
drive off with a stick?"
"Give
her a pile of stones," the gunslinger said.
"Stones!
Jesus wept! Man, you are such a fucking
shit!"
"I am
thinking," the gunslinger said. "Something you seem unable to
do. I gave you the gun so you could protect her from the sort of danger you're
talking about for half of the trip you must make. Would it please you if I took
the gun back? Then perhaps you could die for her. Would that please
you? Very romantic. . . except then, instead of just her, all three of us would
go down."
"Very
logical. You're still a fucking shit, however."
"Go
or stay. Stop calling me names."
"You
forgot something," Eddie said furiously.
"What
was that?"
"You
forgot to tell me to grow up. That's what Henry always used to say. 'Oh grow
up, kid.' "
The
gunslinger had smiled, a weary, oddly beautiful smile. "I think you have
grown up. Will you go or stay?"
"I'll
go," Eddie said. "What are you going to eat? She scarfed the
left-overs."
"The
fucking shit will find a way. The fucking shit has been finding one for years."
Eddie
looked away. "I... I guess I'm sorry I called you that, Roland. It's
been—" He laughed suddenly, shrilly. "It's been a very trying
day."
Roland
smiled again. "Yes," he said. "It has."
5
They made
the best time of the entire trek that day, but there was still no door in sight
when the sun began to spill its gold track across the ocean. Although she told
him she was perfectly capable of going on for another half an hour, he called a
halt and helped her out of the chair. He carried her to an even patch of ground
that looked fairly smooth, got the cushions from the back of the chair and the
seat, and eased them under her.
"Lord,
it feels so good to stretch out," she sighed. "But ..." Her brow
clouded. "I keep thinking of that man back there, Roland, all by himself,
and I can't really enjoy it. Eddie, who is he? What is he?" And,
almost as an afterthought: "And why does he shout so much?"
"Just
his nature, I guess," Eddie said, and abruptly went off to gather rocks.
Roland hardly ever shouted. He guessed some of it was this morning—FUCK the
shells!—but that the rest of it was false memory: the time she thought she
had been Odetta.
He killed
triple, as the gunslinger had instructed, and was so intent on the last that he
skipped back from a fourth which had been closing in on his right with only an
instant to spare. He saw the way its claws clicked on the empty place which had
been occupied by his foot and leg a moment before, and thought of the
gunslinger's missing fingers.
He cooked
over a dry wood fire—the encroaching hills and increasing vegetation made the
search for good fuel quicker and easier, that was one thing—while the last of
the daylight faded from the western sky.
"Look,
Eddie!" she cried, pointing up.
He looked,
and saw a single star gleaming on the breast of the night.
"Isn't
it beautiful?"
"Yes,"
he said, and suddenly, for no reason, his eyes filled with tears. Just where
had he been all of his goddamned life? Where had he been, what had he been
doing, who had been with him while he did it, and why did he suddenly feel so
grimy and abysmally beshitted?
Her lifted
face was terrible in its beauty, irrefutable in this light, but the beauty was
unknown to its possessor, who only looked at the star with wide wondering eyes,
and laughed softly.
"Star
light, star bright," she said, and stopped. She looked at him. "Do
you know it, Eddie?"
"Yeah."
Eddie kept his head down. His voice sounded clear enough, but if he looked up
she would see he was weeping.
"Then
help me. But you have to look."
"Okay."
He wiped
the tears into the palm of one hand and looked up at the star with her.
"Star
light—" she looked at him and he joined her. "Star bright—"
Her hand
reached out, groping, and he clasped it, one the delicious brown of light
chocolate, the other the delicious white of a dove's breast.
"First
star I see tonight," they spoke solemnly in unison, boy and girl for this
now, not man and woman as they would be later, when the dark was full and she
called to ask him if he was asleep and he said no and she asked if he would
hold her because she was cold; "Wish I may, wish I might—"
They
looked at each other, and he saw that tears were streaming down her cheeks. His
own came again, and he let them fall in her sight. This was not a shame but an
inexpressible relief.
They
smiled at each other.
"Have
the wish I wish tonight," Eddie said, and thought: Please, always you.
"Have
the wish I wish tonight," she echoed, and thought If I must die in this
odd place, please let it not be too hard and let this good young man be with
me.
"I'm
sorry I cried," she said, wiping her eyes. "I don't usually, but it's
been—"
"A
very trying day," he finished for her.
"Yes.
And you need to eat, Eddie."
"You
do, too."
"I
just hope it doesn't make me sick again."
He smiled
at her.
"I
don't think it will."
6
Later,
with strange galaxies turning in slow gavotte overhead, neither thought the
act of love had ever been so sweet, so full.
7
They were
off with the dawn, racing, and by nine Eddie was wishing he had asked Roland
what he should do if they came to the place where the hills cut off the beach
and there was still no door in sight. It seemed a question of some importance,
because the end of the beach was coming, no doubt about that. The hills
marched ever closer, running in a diagonal line toward the water.
The beach
itself was no longer a beach at all, not really; the soil was now firm and
quite smooth. Something—run-off, he supposed, or flooding at some rainy season
(there had been none since he had been in this world, not a drop; the sky had
clouded over a few times, but then the clouds had blown away again)—had worn
most of the jutting rocks away.
At
nine-thirty, Odetta cried: "Stop, Eddie! Stop!"
He stopped
so abruptly that she had to grab the arms of the chair to keep from tumbling
out. He was around to her in a flash.
"I'm
sorry," he said. "Are you all right?"
"Fine."
He saw he had mistaken excitement for distress. She pointed. "Up there! Do
you see something?"
He shaded
his eyes and saw nothing. He squinted. For just a moment he thought . . . no,
it was surely just heat-shimmer rising from the packed ground.
"I
don't think so," he said, and smiled. "Except maybe your wish."
"I
think I do!" She turned her excited, smiling face to him. "Standing
all by itself! Near where the beach ends."
He looked
again, squinting so hard this time that his eyes watered. He thought again for
just a moment that he saw something. You did, he thought, and smiled. You
saw her wish.
"Maybe,"
he said, not because he believed it but because she did.
"Let's
go!"
Eddie went
behind the chair again, taking a moment to massage his lower back where a
steady ache had settled. She looked around.
"What
are you waiting for?"
"You really
think you've got it spotted, don't you?"
"Yes!"
"Well
then, let's go!"
Eddie
started pushing again.
8
Half an
hour later he saw it, too. Jesus, he thought, her eyes are as good as
Roland's. Maybe better.
Neither
wanted to stop for lunch, but they needed to eat. They made a quick meal and
then pushed on again. The tide was coming in and Eddie looked to the
right—west—with rising unease. They were still well above the tangled line of
kelp and seaweed that marked high water, but he thought that by the time they
reached the door they would be in an uncomfortably tight angle bounded by the
sea on one side and the slanting hills on the other. He could see those hills
very clearly now. There was nothing pleasant about the view. They were rocky,
studded with low trees that curled their roots into the ground like arthritic
knuckles, keeping a grim grip, and thorny-looking bushes. They weren't really
steep, but too steep for the wheelchair. He might be able to carry her up a
way, might, in fact, be forced to, but he didn't fancy leaving her there.
For the
first time he was hearing insects. The sound was a little like crickets, but
higher pitched than that, and with no swing of rhythm—just a steady monotonous riiiiiiii
sound like power-lines. For the first time he was seeing birds other than
gulls. Some were biggies that circled inland on stiff wings. Hawks, he thought.
He saw them fold their wings from time to time and plummet like stones.
Hunting. Hunting what? Well, small animals. That was all right.
Yet he kept
thinking of that yowl he'd heard in the night.
By
mid-afternoon they could see the third door clearly. Like the other two, it was
an impossibility which nonetheless stood as stark as a post.
"Amazing,"
he heard her say softly. "How utterly amazing."
It was
exactly where he had begun to surmise it would be, in the angle that marked the
end of any easy northward progress. It stood just above the high tide line and
less than nine yards from the place where the hills suddenly leaped out of the
ground like a giant hand coated with gray-green brush instead of hair.
The tide
came full as the sun swooned toward the water; and at what might have been four
o'clock—Odetta said so, and since she had said she was good at telling the sun
(and because she was his beloved), Eddie believed her—they reached the door.
9
They
simply looked at it, Odetta in her chair with her hands in her lap, Eddie on
the sea-side. In one way they looked at it as they had looked at the evening
star the previous night— which is to say, as children look at things—but in
another they looked differently. When they wished on the star they had been
children of joy. Now they were solemn, wondering, like children looking at the
stark embodiment of a thing which only belonged in a fairy tale.
Two words
were written on this door.
"What
does it mean?" Odetta asked finally.
"I
don't know," Eddie said, but those words had brought a hopeless chill; he
felt an eclipse stealing across his heart.
"Don't
you?" she asked, looking at him more closely.
"No.
I..." He swallowed. "No."
She looked
at him a moment longer. "Push me behind it, please. I'd like to see that.
I know you want to get back to him, but would you do that for me?"
He would.
They
started around, on the high side of the door.
"Wait!"
she cried. "Did you see it?"
"What?"
"Go
back! Look! Watch!"
This time
he watched the door instead of what might be ahead to trip them up. As they
went above it he saw it narrow in perspective, saw its hinges, hinges which
seemed to be buried in nothing at all, saw its thickness . . .
Then it
was gone.
The
thickness of the door was gone.
His view
of the water should have been interrupted by three, perhaps even four inches of
solid wood (the door looked extraordinarily stout), but there was no such
interruption.
The door
was gone.
Its shadow
was there, but the door was gone.
He rolled
the chair back two feet, so he was just south of the place where the door
stood, and the thickness was there.
"You
see it?" he asked in a ragged voice.
"Yes!
It's there again!"
He rolled
the chair forward a foot. The door was still there. Another six inches. Still
there. Another two inches. Still there. Another inch . . . and it was
gone. Solid gone.
"Jesus,"
he whispered. "Jesus Christ."
"Would
it open for you?" she asked. "Or me?"
He stepped
forward slowly and grasped the knob of the door with those two words upon it.
He tried
clockwise; he tried anti-clockwise.
The knob
moved not an iota.
"All
right." Her voice was calm, resigned. "It's for him, then. I think we
both knew it. Go for him, Eddie. Now."
"First
I've got to see to you."
"I'll
be fine."
"No
you won't. You're too close to the high tide line. If I leave you here, the
lobsters are going to come out when it gets dark and you're going to be
din—"
Up in the
hills, a cat's coughing growl suddenly cut across what he was saying like a
knife cutting thin cord. It was a good distance away, but closer than the other
had been.
Her eyes
flicked to the gunslinger's revolver shoved into the waistband of his pants for
just a moment, then back to his face. He felt a dull heat in his cheeks.
"He
told you not to give it to me, didn't he?" she said softly. "He
doesn't want me to have it. For some reason he doesn't want me to have
it."
"The
shells got wet," he said awkwardly. "They probably wouldn't fire,
anyway."
"I
understand. Take me a little way up the slope, Eddie, can you? I know how tired
your back must be, Andrew calls it Wheelchair Crouch, but if you take me up a
little way, I'll be safe from the lobsters. I doubt if anything else comes very
close to where they are."
Eddie
thought, When the tide's in, she's probably right . . . but what about when
it starts to go out again?
"Give
me something to eat and some stones," she said, and her unknowing echo of
the gunslinger made Eddie flush again. His cheeks and forehead felt like the
sides of a brick oven.
She looked
at him, smiled faintly, and shook her head as if he had spoken out loud.
"We're not going to argue about this. I saw how it is with him. His time
is very, very short. There is no time for discussion. Take me up a little way,
give me food and some stones, then take the chair and go."
10
He got her
fixed as quickly as he could, then pulled the gunslinger's revolver and held it
out to her butt-first. But she shook her head.
"He'll
be angry with both of us. Angry with you for giving, angrier at me for
taking."
"Crap!"
Eddie yelled. "What gave you that idea?"
"I
know," she said, and her voice was impervious.
"Well,
suppose that's true. Just suppose. I'll be angry with you if you don't
take it."
"Put
it back. I don't like guns. I don't know how to use them. If something came at
me in the dark the first thing I'd do is wet my pants. The second thing I'd do
is point it the wrong way and shoot myself." She paused, looking at Eddie
solemnly. "There's something else, and you might as well know it. I don't
want to touch anything that belongs to him. Not anything. For me, I
think his things might have what my Ma used to call a hoodoo. I like to think
of myself as a modern woman . . . but I don't want any hoodoo on me when you're
gone and the dark lands on top of me."
He looked
from the gun to Odetta, and his eyes still questioned.
"Put
it back," she said, stern as a school teacher. Eddie burst out laughing
and obeyed.
"Why
are you laughing?"
"Because
when you said that you sounded like Miss Hathaway. She was my third-grade
teacher."
She smiled
a little, her luminous eyes never leaving his. She sang softly, sweetly: "Heavenly
shades of night are falling . . . it's twilight time. . .” She trailed off and they both looked
west, but the star they had wished on the previous evening had not yet
appeared, although their shadows had drawn long.
"Is
there anything else, Odetta?" He felt an urge to delay and delay. He
thought it would pass once he was actually headed back, but now the urge to
seize any excuse to remain, seemed very strong.
"A
kiss. I could do with that, if you don't mind."
He kissed
her long and when their lips no longer touched, she caught his wrist and stared
at him intently. "I never made love with a white man before last
night," she said. "I don't know if that's important to you or not. I
don't even know if it's important to me. But I thought you should
know."
He
considered.
"Not
to me," he said. "In the dark, I think we were both gray. I love you,
Odetta."
She put a
hand over his.
"You're
a sweet young man and perhaps I love you, too, although it's too early for
either of us—"
At that
moment, as if given a cue, a wildcat growled in what the gunslinger had called
the brakes. It still sounded four or five miles away, but that was still four
or five miles closer than the last time they heard it, and it sounded big.
They
turned their heads toward the sound. Eddie felt hackles trying to stand up on
his neck. They couldn't quite make it. Sorry, hackles, he thought
stupidly. I guess my hair's just a little too long now.
The growl
rose to a tortured scream that sounded like a cry of some being suffering a
horrid death (it might actually have signaled no more than a successful
mating). It held for a moment, almost unbearable, and then it wound down,
sliding through lower and lower registers until it was gone or buried beneath
the ceaseless cry of the wind. They waited for it to come again, but the cry
was not repeated. As far as Eddie was concerned, that didn't matter. He pulled
the revolver out of his waistband again and held it out to her.
"Take
it and don't argue. If you should need to use it, it won't do
shit—that's how stuff like this always works—but take it anyway."
"Do
you want an argument?"
"Oh,
you can argue. You can argue all you want."
After a
considering look into Eddie's almost-hazel eyes, she smiled a little wearily.
"I won't argue, I guess." She took the gun. "Please be as quick
as you can."
"I
will." He kissed her again, hurriedly this time, and almost told her to be
careful . . . but seriously, folks, how careful could she be, with the
situation what it was?
He picked
his way back down the slope through the deepening shadows (the lobstrosities
weren't out yet, but they would be putting in their nightly appearance soon),
and looked at the words written upon the door again. The same chill rose in his
flesh. They were apt, those words. God, they were so apt. Then he looked back
up the slope. For a moment he couldn't see her, and then he saw something move.
The lighter brown of one palm. She was waving.
He waved
back, then turned the wheelchair and began to run with it tipped up in front of
him so the smaller, more delicate front wheels would be off the ground. He ran
south, back the way he had come. For the first half-hour or so his shadow ran
with him, the improbable shadow of a scrawny giant tacked to the soles of his
sneakers and stretching long yards to the east. Then the sun went down, his
shadow was gone, and the lobstrosities began to tumble out of the waves.
It was ten
minutes or so after he heard the first of their buzzing cries when he looked up
and saw the evening star glowing calmly against the dark blue velvet of the
sky.
Heavenly
shades of night are falling . . . it's twilight time ...
Let her be
safe. His legs were already aching, his
breath too hot and heavy in his lungs, and there was still a third trip to
make, this time with the gunslinger as his passenger, and although he guessed
Roland must outweigh Odetta by a full hundred pounds and knew he should
conserve his strength, Eddie kept running anyway. Let her be safe, that's my
wish, let my beloved be safe.
And, like
an ill omen, a wildcat screeched somewhere in the tortured ravines that cut
through the hills . . . only this wildcat sounded as big as a lion roaring in
an African jungle.
Eddie ran
faster, pushing the untenanted gantry of the wheelchair before him. Soon the wind
began to make a thin, ghastly whine through the freely turning spokes of the
raised front wheels.
11
The
gunslinger heard a reedy wailing sound approaching him, tensed for a moment,
then heard panting breath and relaxed. It was Eddie. Even without opening his
eyes he knew that.
When the
wailing sound faded and the running footsteps slowed, Roland opened his eyes.
Eddie stood panting before him with sweat running down the sides of his face.
His shirt was plastered against his chest in a single dark blotch. Any last
vestiges of the college-boy look Jack Andolini had insisted upon were gone. His
hair hung over his forehead. He had split his pants at the crotch. The
bluish-purple crescents under his eyes completed the picture. Eddie Dean was a
mess.
"I
made it," he said. "I'm here." He looked around, then back at
the gunslinger, as if he could not believe it. "Jesus Christ, I'm really here."
"You
gave her the gun."
Eddie
thought the gunslinger looked bad—as bad as he'd looked before the first
abbreviated round of Keflex, maybe a trifle worse. Fever-heat seemed to be
coming off him in waves, and he knew he should have felt sorry for him, but for
the moment all he could seem to feel was mad as hell.
"I
bust my ass getting back here in record time and all you can say is 'You gave
her the gun.' Thanks, man. I mean, I expected some expression of gratitude, but
this is just over-fucking-whelming."
"I think I said the only thing that matters."
"Well,
now that you mention it, I did," Eddie said, putting his hands on his
hips and staring truculently down at the gunslinger. "Now you have your
choice. You can get in this chair or I can fold it and try to jam it up your
ass. Which do you prefer, mawster?"
"Neither."
Roland was smiling a little, the smile of a man who doesn't want to
smile but can't help it. "First you're going to take some sleep, Eddie.
We'll see what we'll see when the time for seeing comes, but for now you need
sleep. You're done in."
"I
want to get back to her."
"I
do, too. But if you don't rest, you're going to fall down in the traces. Simple
as that. Bad for you, worse for me, and worst of all for her."
Eddie
stood for a moment, undecided.
"You
made good time," the gunslinger conceded. He squinted at the sun.
"It's four, maybe a quarter-past. You sleep five, maybe seven hours, and
it'll be full dark—"
"Four.
Four hours."
"All
right. Until after dark; I think that's the important thing. Then you eat. Then
we move."
"You
eat, too."
That faint
smile again. "I'll try." He looked at Eddie calmly. "Your life
is in my hands now; I suppose you know that."
"Yes."
"I
kidnapped you."
"Yes."
"Do
you want to kill me? If you do, do it now rather than subject any of us to . .
." His breath whistled out softly. Eddie heard his chest rattling and
cared very little for the sound. ". . . to any further discomfort,"
he finished.
"I
don't want to kill you."
"Then—"
he was interrupted by a sudden harsh burst of coughing "—lie down,"
he finished.
Eddie did.
Sleep did not drift upon him as it sometimes did but seized him with the rough
hands of a lover who is awkward in her eagerness. He heard (or perhaps this was
only a dream) Roland saying, But you shouldn't have given her the gun, and
then he was simply in the dark for an unknown time and then Roland was shaking
him awake and when he finally sat up all there seemed to be in his body was
pain: pain and weight. His muscles had turned into rusty winches and pullies in
a deserted building. His first effort to get to his feet didn't work. He
thumped heavily back to the sand. He managed it on the second try, but he felt
as if it might take him twenty minutes just to perform such a simple act as
turning around. And it would hurt to do it.
Roland's
eyes were on him, questioning. "Are you ready?"
Eddie
nodded. "Yes. Are you?"
"Yes."
"Can you?"
"Yes."
So they
ate . . . and then Eddie began his third and last trip along this cursed
stretch of beach.
12
They
rolled a good stretch that night, but Eddie was still dully disappointed when
the gunslinger called a halt. He offered no disagreement because he was simply
too weary to go on without rest, but he had hoped to get further. The weight.
That was the big problem. Compared to Odetta, pushing Roland was like pushing a
load of iron bars. Eddie slept four more hours before dawn, woke with the sun
coming over the eroding hills which were all that remained of the mountains,
and listened to the gunslinger coughing. It was a weak cough, full of rales,
the cough of an old man who may be coming down with pneumonia.
Their eyes
met. Roland's coughing spasm turned into a laugh.
"I'm
not done yet, Eddie, no matter how I sound. Are you?"
Eddie
thought of Odetta's eyes and shook his head.
"Not
done, but I could use a cheeseburger and a Bud."
"Bud?"
the gunslinger said doubtfully, thinking of apple trees and the spring flowers
in the Royal Court Gardens.
"Never
mind. Hop in, my man. No four on the floor, no T-top, but we're going to roll
some miles just the same.
And they
did, but when sunset came on the second day following his leave-taking of
Odetta, they were still only drawing near the place of the third door. Eddie
lay down, meaning to crash for another four hours, but the screaming cry of one
of those cats jerked him out of sleep after only two hours, his heart thumping.
God, the thing sounded fucking huge.
He saw the
gunslinger up on one elbow, his eyes gleaming in the dark.
"You
ready?" Eddie asked. He got slowly to his feet, grinning with pain.
"Are you?"
Roland asked again, very softly.
Eddie
twisted his back, producing a series of pops like a string of tiny
firecrackers. "Yeah. But I could really get behind that
cheeseburger."
"I
thought chicken was what you wanted."
Eddie groaned.
"Cut me a break, man."
The third
door was in plain view by the time the sun cleared the hills. Two hours later,
they reached it.
All
together again, Eddie thought, ready to drop
to the sand.
But that
was apparently not so. There was no sign of Odetta Holmes. No sign at all.
13
"Odetta!"
Eddie screamed, and now his voice was broken and
hoarse as the voice of Odetta's other had been.
There
wasn't even an echo in return, something he might at least have mistaken for
Odetta's voice. These low, eroded hills would not bounce sound. There was only
the crash of the waves, much louder in this tight arrowhead of land, the
rhythmic, hollow boom of surf crashing to the end of some tunnel it had dug in
the friable rock, and the steady keening of the wind.
"Odetta!"
This time
he screamed so loudly his voice broke and for a moment something sharp, like a
jag of fishbone, tore at his vocal cords. His eyes scanned the hills
frantically, looking for the lighter patch of brown that would be her palm,
looking for movement as she stood up ... looking (God forgive him) for bright
splashes of blood on roan-colored rock.
He found
himself wondering what he would do if he saw that last, or found the revolver,
now with deep toothmarks driven into the smooth sandalwood of the grips. The
sight of something like that might drive him into hysteria, might even run him
crazy, but he looked for it—or something—just the same.
His eyes
saw nothing; his ears brought not the faintest returning cry.
The
gunslinger, meanwhile, had been studying the third door. He had expected a
single word, the word the man in black had used as he turned the sixth Tarot
card at the dusty Golgotha where they had held palaver. Death, Walter
had said, but not for you, gunslinger.
There was not
one word writ upon this door but two. . . and neither of them was DEATH. He
read it again, lips moving soundlessly:
THE PUSHER
Yet it means death, Roland thought, and knew it was so.
What made
him look around was the sound of Eddie's voice, moving away. Eddie had begun to
climb the first slope, still calling Odetta's name.
For a
moment Roland considered just letting him go.
He might
find her, might even find her alive, not too badly hurt, and still herself. He
supposed the two of them might even make a life of sorts for themselves here,
that Eddie's love for Odetta and hers for him might somehow smother the
nightshade who called herself Detta Walker. Yes, between the two of them he
supposed it was possible that Detta might simply be squeezed to death. He was a
romantic in his own harsh way . . . yet he was also realist enough to know that
sometimes love actually did conquer all. As for himself? Even if he was
able to get the drugs from Eddie's world which had almost cured him before,
would they be able to cure him this time, or even make a start? He was now very
sick, and he found himself wondering if perhaps things hadn't gone too far. His
arms and legs ached, his head thudded, his chest was heavy and full of snot.
When he coughed there was a painful grating in his left side, as if ribs were
broken there. His left ear flamed. Perhaps, he thought, the time had come to
end it; to just cry off.
At this,
everything in him rose up in protest.
"Eddie!"
he cried, and there was no cough now. His voice
was deep and powerful.
Eddie
turned, one foot on raw dirt, the other braced on a jutting spar of rock.
"Go
on," he said, and made a curious little sweeping gesture with his hand, a
gesture that said he wanted to be rid of the gunslinger so he could be about
his real business, the important business, the business of
finding Odetta and rescuing her if rescue were necessary. "It's all
right. Go on through and get the stuff you need. We'll both be here when you
get back."
"I
doubt that."
"I
have to find her." Eddie looked at Roland and his gaze was very young and
completely naked. "I mean, I really have to."
"I
understand your love and your need," the gunslinger said, "but I want
you to come with me this time, Eddie."
Eddie
stared at him for a long time, as if trying to credit what he was hearing.
"Come
with you," he said at last, bemused. "Come with you! Holy God,
now I think I really have heard everything. Deedle-deedle-dumpkin everything.
Last time you were so determined I was gonna stay behind you were willing
to take a chance on me cutting your throat. This time you want to take a chance
on something ripping hers right out."
"That
may have already happened," Roland said, although he knew it hadn't. The
Lady might be hurt, but he knew she wasn't dead.
Unfortunately,
Eddie did, too. A week or ten days without his drug had sharpened his mind
remarkably. He pointed at the door. "You know she's not. If she was, that
goddam thing would be gone. Unless you were lying when you said it wasn't any
good without all three of us."
Eddie
tried to turn back to the slope, but Roland's eyes held him nailed.
"All
right," the gunslinger said. His voice was almost as soft as it had been
when he spoke past the hateful face and screaming voice of Detta to the woman
trapped somewhere behind it. "She's alive. That being so, why does she not
answer your calls?"
"Well.
. . one of those cats-things may have carried her away." But Eddie's voice
was weak.
"A
cat would have killed her, eaten what it wanted, and left the rest. At most, it
might have dragged her body into the shade so it could come back tonight and
eat meat the sun perhaps hadn't yet spoiled. But if that was the case, the door
would be gone. Cats aren't like some insects, who paralyze their prey and carry
them off to eat later, and you know it."
"That
isn't necessarily true," Eddie said. For a moment he heard Odetta saying You
should have been on the debate team, Eddie and pushed the thought aside.
"Could be a cat came for her and she tried to shoot it but the first
couple of shells in your gun were misfires. Hell, maybe even the first four or
five. The cat gets to her, mauls her, and just before it can kill her . . .
BANG!"
Eddie smacked a fist against his palm, seeing
all this so vividly that he might have witnessed it. "The bullet kills the
cat, or maybe just wounds it, or maybe just scares it off. What about
that?"
Mildly,
Roland said: "We would have heard a gunshot."
For a
moment Eddie could only stand, mute, able to think of no counter-argument. Of
course they would have heard it. The first time they had heard one of the cats
yowling, it had to have been fifteen, maybe twenty miles away. A pistol-shot—
He looked
at Roland with sudden cunning. "Maybe you did," he said.
"Maybe you heard a gunshot while I was asleep."
"It
would have woken you."
"Not
as tired as I am, man. I fall asleep, it's like—"
"Like
being dead," the gunslinger said in that same mild voice. "I know the
feeling."
"Then
you understand—"
"But
it's not being dead. Last night you were out just like that, but when one
of those cats screeched, you were awake and on your feet in seconds. Because of
your concern for her. There was no gunshot, Eddie, and you know it. You would
have heard it. Because of your concern for her."
"So
maybe she brained it with a rock!" Eddie shouted. "How the hell do I
know when I'm standing here arguing with you instead of checking out the
possibilities? I mean, she could be lying up there someplace hurt, man! Hurt or
bleeding to death! How'd you like it if I did come through that door
with you and she died while we were on the other side? How'd you like to look
around once and see that doorway there, then look around twice and see it gone,
just like it never was, because she was gone? Then you'd be trapped in my
world instead of the other way around!" He stood panting and glaring
at the gunslinger, his hands balled into fists.
Roland
felt a tired exasperation. Someone—it might have been Cort but he rather
thought it had been his father—had had a saying: Might as well try to drink
the ocean with a spoon as argue with a lover. If any proof of the saying
were needed, there it stood above him, in a posture that was all defiance and
defense. Go on, the set of Eddie Dean's body said. Go on, I can answer any
question you throw at me.
"Might
not have been a cat that found her," he said now. "This may be your
world, but I don't think you've ever been to this part of it any more than I've
ever been to Borneo. You don't know what might be running around up in those
hills, do you? Could be an ape grabbed her, or something like that."
"Something
grabbed her, all right," the gunslinger said.
"Well
thank God getting sick hasn't driven all the sense out of your m—"
"And
we both know what it was. Detta Walker. That's what grabbed her. Detta
Walker."
Eddie
opened his mouth, but for some little time—only seconds, but enough of them so
both acknowledged the truth—the gunslinger's inexorable face bore all his
arguments to silence.
14
"It
doesn't have to be that way."
"Come
a little closer. If we're going to talk, let's talk. Every time I have to shout
at you over the waves, it rips another piece of my throat out. That's how it
feels, anyway."
"What
big eyes you have, grandma," Eddie said, not moving.
"What
in hell's name are you talking about?"
"A
fairy tale." Eddie did descend a short way back down the slope—four yards,
no more. "And fairy tales are what you're thinking about if you
believe you can coax me close enough to that wheelchair."
"Close
enough for what? I don't understand," Roland said, although he
understood perfectly.
Nearly a
hundred and fifty yards above them and perhaps a full quarter of a mile to the
east, dark eyes—eyes as full of intelligence as they were lacking in human
mercy—watched this tableau intently. It was impossible to tell what they were saying;
the wind, the waves, and the hollow crash of the surf digging its underground
channel saw to that, but Detta didn't need to hear what they were saying to know
what they were talking about. She didn't need a telescope to see that
the Really Bad Man was now also the Really Sick Man, and maybe the Really Bad
Man was willing to spend a few days or even a few weeks torturing a legless
Negro woman—way things looked around here, entertainment was mighty hard to
come by—but she thought the Really Sick Man only wanted one thing, and that was
to get his whitebread ass out of here. Just use that magic doorway to haul the
fucker out. But before, he hadn't been hauling no ass. Before, he hadn't been
hauling nothing. Before, the Really Bad Man hadn't been nowhere but inside her
own head. She still didn't like to think of how that had been, how it had
felt, how easily he had overridden all her clawing efforts to push him out, away,
to take control of herself again. That had been awful. Terrible. And what
made it worse was her lack of understanding. What, exactly, was the real source
of her terror? That it wasn't the invasion itself was frightening enough. She
knew she might understand if she examined herself more closely, but she didn't
want to do that. Such examination might lead her to a place like the one
sailors had feared in the ancient days, a place which was no more or less than
the edge of the world, a place the cartographers had marked with the legend
HERE THERE BE SARPENTS. The hideous thing about the Really Bad Man's invasion
had been the sense of familiarity that came with it, as if this amazing
thing had happened before—not once, but many times. But, frightened or not, she
had denied panic. She had observed even as she fought, and she remembered
looking into that door when the gunslinger used her hands to pivot the
wheelchair toward it. She remembered seeing the body of the Really Bad Man
lying on the sand with Eddie crouched above it, a knife in his hand.
Would that
Eddie had plunged that knife into the Really Bad Man's throat! Better than a
pig-slaughtering! Better by a country mile!
He hadn't,
but she had seen the Really Bad Man's body. It had been breathing, but body was
the right word just the same; it had only been a worthless thing, like a
cast-off towsack which some idiot had stuffed full of weeds or cornshucks.
Delta's
mind might have been as ugly as a rat's ass, but it was even quicker and
sharper than Eddie's. Really Bad Man there used to be full of piss an
vinegar. Not no mo. He know I'm up here and doan want to do nothin but git away
befo I come down an kill his ass. His little buddy, though—he still be
pretty strong, and he ain't had his fill of hurting on me just yet. Want to
come up here and hunt me down no matter how that Really Bad Man be. Sho. He be
thinkin, One black bitch widdout laigs no match fo a big ole swingin dick like
me. I doan wan t'run. I want to be huntin that black quiff down. I give her a
poke or two, den we kin go like you want. That what he be thinkin, and
that be all right. That be jes fine, graymeat. You think you can take Delta
Walker, you jes come on up here in these Drawers and give her a try. You goan
find out when you fuckin with me, you fuckin wit the best, honeybunch! You goan
find out—
But she
was jerked from the rat-run of her thoughts by a sound that came to her clearly
in spite of the surf and wind: the heavy crack of a pistol-shot.
15
"I
think you understand better than you let on," Eddie said. "A whole hell
of a lot better. You'd like for me to get in grabbing distance, that's what
I think." He jerked his head toward the door without taking his eyes from
Roland's face. Unaware that not far away someone was thinking exactly the same
thing, he added: "I know you're sick, all right, but it could be you're
pretending to be a lot weaker than you really are. Could be you're laying back
in the tall grass just a little bit."
"Could
be I am," Roland said, unsmiling, and added: "But I'm not."
He was,
though ... a little.
"A
few more steps wouldn't hurt, though, would it? I'm not going to be able to
shout much longer." The last syllable turned into a frog's croak as if to
prove his point. "And I need to make you think about what you're
doing—planning to do. If I can't persuade you to come with me, maybe I can at
least put you on your guard . . . again."
"For
your precious Tower," Eddie sneered, but he did come skidding halfway down
the slope of ground he had climbed, his tattered tennies kicking up listless
clouds of maroon dust.
"For
my precious Tower and your precious health," the gunslinger said.
"Not to mention your precious life."
He slipped
the remaining revolver from the left holster and looked at it with an
expression both sad and strange.
"If
you think you can scare me with that—"
"I
don't. You know I can't shoot you, Eddie. But I think you do need an object
lesson in how things have changed. How much things have changed."
Roland
lifted the gun, its muzzle pointing not toward Eddie but toward the empty
surging ocean, and thumbed the hammer. Eddie steeled himself against the gun's
heavy crack.
No such
thing. Only a dull click.
Roland
thumbed the hammer back again. The cylinder rotated. He squeezed the trigger,
and again there was nothing but a dull click.
"Never
mind," Eddie said. "Where I come from, the Defense Department would
have hired you after the first misfire. You might as well qui—"
But the
heavy KA-BLAM of the revolver cut off the word's end as neatly as Roland had
cut small branches from trees as a target-shooting exercise when he had been a
student. Eddie jumped. The gunshot momentarily silenced the constant riiiiii
of the insects in the hills. They only began to tune up again slowly,
cautiously, after Roland had put the gun in his lap.
"What
in hell does that prove?"
"I
suppose that all depends on what you'll listen to and what you refuse to
hear," Roland said a trifle sharply. "It's supposed to prove
that not all the shells are duds. Furthermore, it suggests—strongly suggests—that
some, maybe even all, of the shells in the gun you gave Odetta may be
live."
"Bullshit!"
Eddie paused. "Why?"
"Because
I loaded the gun I just fired with shells from the backs of my
gunbelts—with shells that took the worst wetting, in other words. I did it just
to pass the time while you were gone. Not that it takes much time to load a
gun, even shy a pair of fingers, you understand!" Roland laughed a little,
and the laugh turned into a cough he muzzled with an abridged fist. When the
cough had subsided he went on: "But after you've tried to fire wets, you
have to break the machine and clean the machine. Break the machine, clean
the machine, you maggots—it was the first thing Cort, our teacher, drummed
into us. I didn't know how long it would take me to break down my gun, clean it,
and put it back together with only a hand and a half, but I thought that if I
intended to go on living—and I do, Eddie, I do—I'd better find out. Find out
and then learn to do it faster, don't you think so? Come a little closer,
Eddie! Come a little closer for your father's sake!"
"All
the better to see you with, my child," Eddie said, but did take a couple
of steps closer to Roland. Only a couple.
"When
the first slug I pulled the trigger on fired, I almost filled my pants,"
the gunslinger said. He laughed again. Shocked, Eddie realized the gunslinger
had reached the edge of delirium. "The first slug, but believe me when I
say it was the last thing I had expected."
Eddie
tried to decide if the gunslinger was lying, lying about the gun, and lying
about his condition as well. Cat was sick, yeah. But was he really this sick?
Eddie didn't know. If Roland was acting, he was doing a great job; as for guns,
Eddie had no way of telling because he had no experience with them. He had shot
a pistol maybe three times in his life before suddenly finding himself in a
firefight at Balazar's place. Henry might have known, but Henry was
dead—a thought which had a way of constantly surprising Eddie into grief.
"None
of the others fired," the gunslinger said, "so I cleaned the machine,
re-loaded, and fired around the chamber again. This time I used shells a little
further toward the belt buckles. Ones which would have taken even less of a
wetting. The loads we used to kill our food, the dry loads, were the ones
closest to the buckles."
He paused
to cough dryly into his hand, then went on.
"Second
time around I hit two live rounds. I broke my gun down again, cleaned it again,
then loaded a third time. You just watched me drop the trigger on the first
three chambers of that third loading." He smiled faintly. "You know,
after the first two clicks I thought it would be my damned luck to have filled
the cylinder with nothing but wets. That wouldn't have been very convincing,
would it? Can you come a little closer, Eddie?"
"Not
very convincing at all," Eddie said, "and I think I'm just as close
to you as I'm going to come, thanks. What lesson am I supposed to take from all
this, Roland?"
Roland
looked at him as one might look at an imbecile. "I didn't send you out
here to die, you know. I didn't send either of you out here to die.
Great gods, Eddie, where are your brains? She's packing live iron!" His
eyes regarded Eddie closely. "She's someplace up in those hills. Maybe you
think you can track her, but you're not going to have any luck if the ground is
as stony as it looks from here. She's lying up there, Eddie, not Odetta but
Delta, lying up there with live iron in her hand. If I leave you and you go
after her, she'll blow your guts out of your asshole."
Another
spasm of coughing set in.
Eddie
stared at the coughing man in the wheelchair and the waves pounded and the wind
blew its steady idiot's note.
At last he
heard his voice say, "You could have held back one shell you knew was
live. I wouldn't put it past you." And with that said he knew it to be
true: he wouldn't put that or anything else past Roland.
His Tower.
His
goddamned Tower.
And the
slyness of putting the saved shell in the third cylinder! It provided
just the right touch of reality, didn't it? Made it hard not to believe.
"We've
got a saying in my world," Eddie said. " 'That guy could sell
Frigidaires to the Eskimos.' That's the saying."
"What
does it mean?"
"It
means go pound sand."
The
gunslinger looked at him for a long time and then nodded. "You mean to
stay. All right. As Delta she's safer from . . . from whatever wildlife there
may be around here. . . than she would have been as Odetta, and you'd be safer
away from her—at least for the time being—but I can see how it is. I don't like
it, but I've no time to argue with a fool."
"Does
that mean," Eddie asked politely, "that no one ever tried to argue
with you about this Dark Tower you're so set on getting to?"
Roland
smiled tiredly. "A great many did, as a matter of fact. I suppose that's
why I recognize you'll not be moved. One fool knows another. At any rate, I'm
too weak to catch you, you're obviously too wary to let me coax you close
enough to grab you, and time's grown too short to argue. All I can do is go and
hope for the best. I'm going to tell you one last time before I do go, and hear
me, Eddie: Be on your guard."
Then
Roland did something that made Eddie ashamed of all his doubts (although no
less solidly set in his own decision): he flicked open the cylinder of the
revolver with a practiced flick of his wrist, dumped all the loads, and
replaced them with fresh loads from the loops closest to the buckles. He
snapped the cylinder back into place with another flick of his wrist.
"No
time to clean the machine now," he said, "but 'twont matter, I reckon.
Now catch, and catch clean—don't dirty the machine any more than it is already.
There aren't many machines left in my world that work anymore."
He threw
the gun across the space between them. In his anxiety, Eddie almost did drop
it. Then he had it safely tucked into his waistband.
The
gunslinger got out of the wheelchair, almost fell when it slid backward under
his pushing hands, then tottered to the door. He grasped its knob; in his hand
it turned easily. Eddie could not see the scene the door opened upon, but he
heard the muffled sound of traffic.
Roland
looked back at Eddie, his blue bullshooter's eyes gleaming out of a face which
was ghastly pale.
16
Delta
watched all of this from her hiding place with hungrily gleaming eyes.
17
"Remember,
Eddie," he said in a hoarse voice, and then stepped forward. His body
collapsed at the edge of the doorway, as if it had struck a stone wall instead
of empty space.
Eddie felt
an almost insatiable urge to go to the doorway, to look through and see
where—and to what when—it led. Instead he turned and scanned the hills
again, his hand on the gun-butt.
I'm going
to tell you one last time.
Suddenly,
scanning the empty brown hills, Eddie was scared.
Be on your
guard.
Nothing up
there was moving.
Nothing he
could see, at least.
He sensed
her all the same.
Not
Odetta; the gunslinger was right about that.
It was Delta
he sensed.
He
swallowed and heard a click in his throat.
On your
guard.
Yes. But
never in his life had he felt such a deadly need for sleep. It would take him
soon enough; if he didn't give in willingly, sleep would rape him.
And while
he slept, Delta would come.
Delta.
Eddie
fought the weariness, looked at the unmoving hills with eyes which felt swollen
and heavy, and wondered how long it might be before Roland came back with the
third—The Pusher, whoever he or she was.
"Odetta?"
he called without much hope.
Only
silence answered, and for Eddie the lime of wailing began.
CHAPTER 1
BITTER MEDICINE
1
When the
gunslinger entered Eddie, Eddie had experienced a moment of nausea and he had
had a sense of being watched (this Roland hadn't felt; Eddie had told
him later). He'd had, in other words, some vague sense of the gunslinger's
presence. With Delta, Roland had been forced to come forward immediately,
like it or not. She hadn't just sensed him; in a queer way it seemed that she
had been waiting for him—him or another, more frequent, visitor. Either
way, she had been totally aware of his presence from the first moment he had
been in her.
Jack Mort
didn't feel a thing.
He was too
intent on the boy.
He had
been watching the boy for the last two weeks.
Today he
was going to push him.
2
Even with
the back to the eyes from which the gunslinger now looked, Roland recognized
the boy. It was the boy he had met at the way station in the desert, the boy he
had rescued from the Oracle in the Mountains, the boy whose life he had
sacrificed when the choice between saving him or finally catching up with the
man in black finally came; the boy who had said Go then—there are other
worlds than these before plunging into the abyss. And sure enough, the boy
had been right.
The boy
was Jake.
He was
holding a plain brown paper bag in one hand and a blue canvas bag by its
drawstring top in the other. From the angles poking against the sides of the
canvas, the gunslinger thought it must contain books.
Traffic
flooded the street the boy was waiting to cross—a street in the same city from
which he had taken the Prisoner and the Lady, he realized, but for the moment
none of that mattered. Nothing mattered but what was going to happen or not
happen in the next few seconds.
Jake had not been brought into the gunslinger's world through any magic
door; he had come through a cruder, more understandable portal: he had been
born into Roland's world by dying in his own.
He had
been murdered.
More
specifically, he had been pushed.
Pushed
into the street; run over by a car while on his way to school, his lunch-sack
in one hand and his books in the other.
Pushed by
the man in black.
He's going
to do it! He's going to do it right now! That's to be my punishment for
murdering him in my world—to see him murdered in this one before I can stop it!
But the
rejection of brutish destiny had been the gunslinger's work all his life—it
had been his ka, if you pleased—and so he came forward without
even thinking, acting with reflexes so deep they had nearly become instincts.
And as he
did a thought both horrible and ironic flashed into his mind: What if the
body he had entered was itself that of the man in black? What if, as he
rushed forward to save the boy, he saw his own hands reach out and push?
What if this sense of control was only an illusion, and Walter's final gleeful
joke that Roland himself should murder the boy?
3
For one
single moment Jack Mort lost the thin strong arrow of his concentration. On the
edge of leaping forward and shoving the kid into the traffic, he felt something
which his mind mistranslated just as the body may refer pain from one part of
itself to another.
When the
gunslinger came forward, Jack thought some sort of bug had landed on the
back of his neck. Not a wasp or a bee, nothing that actually stung, but
something that bit and itched. Mosquito, maybe. It was on this that he blamed
his lapse in concentration at the crucial moment. He slapped at it and returned
to the boy.
He thought
all this happened in a bare wink; actually, seven seconds passed. He sensed
neither the gunslinger's swift advance nor his equally swift retreat, and none
of the people around him (going-to-work people, most from the subway station on
the next block, their faces still puffy with sleep, their half-dreaming eyes
turned inward) noticed Jack's eyes turn from their usual deep blue to a lighter
blue behind the prim gold-rimmed glasses he wore. No one noticed those eyes
darken to their normal cobalt color either, but when it happened and he
refocused on the boy, he saw with frustrated fury as sharp as a thorn that his
chance was gone. The light had changed.
He watched
the boy crossing with the rest of the sheep, and then Jack himself turned back
the way he had come and began shoving himself upstream against the tidal flow
of pedestrians.
"Hey,
mister! Watch ou—"
Some
curd-faced teenaged girl he barely saw. Jack shoved her aside, hard, not
looking back at her caw of anger as her own armload of schoolbooks went flying.
He went walking on down Fifth Avenue and away from Forty-Third, where he had
meant for the boy to die today. His head was bent, his lips pressed together so
tightly he seemed to have no mouth at all but only the scar of a long-healed
wound above his chin. Once clear of the bottleneck at the corner, he did not
slow down but strode even more rapidly along, crossing Forty-Second,
Forty-First, Fortieth. Somewhere in the middle of the next block he passed the
building where the boy lived. He gave it barely a glance, although he had
followed the boy from it every school-morning for the last three weeks,
followed him from the building to the corner three and a half blocks further up
Fifth, the corner he thought of simply as the Pushing Place.
The girl
he bumped was screaming after him, but Jack Mort didn't notice. An amateur
lepidopterist would have taken no more notice of a common butterfly.
Jack was,
in his way, much like an amateur lepidopterist.
By
profession, he was a successful C.P.A.
Pushing
was only his hobby.
4
The
gunslinger returned to the back of the man's mind and fainted there. If there
was relief, it was simply that this man was not the man in black, was not
Walter.
All the
rest was utter horror . . . and utter realization.
Divorced
of his body, his mind—his ka—was as healthy and acute as ever, but the
sudden knowing struck him like a chisel-blow to the temple.
The
knowing didn't come when he went forward but when he was sure the boy
was safe and slipped back again. He saw the connection between this man and
Odetta, too fantastic and yet too hideously apt to be coincidental, and
understood what the real drawing of the three might be, and who they
might be.
The third
was not this man, this Pusher; the third named by Walter had been Death.
Death. . .
but not for you. That was what Walter, clever
as Satan even at the end, had said. A lawyer's answer... so close to the truth
that the truth was able to hide in its shadow. Death was not for him; death was
become him.
The
Prisoner, the Lady.
Death was
the third.
He was
suddenly filled with the certainty that he himself was the third.
5
Roland came
forward as nothing but a projectile, a brainless missile programmed to
launch the body he was in at the man in black the instant he saw him.
Thoughts
of what might happen if he stopped the man in black from murdering Jake did not
come until later—the possible paradox, the fistula in time and dimension which
might cancel out everything that had happened after he had arrived at the way
station. . . for surely if he saved Jake in this world, there would have been
no Jake for him to meet there, and everything which had happened thereafter
would change.
What
changes? Impossible even to speculate on them. That one might have been the end
of his quest never entered the gunslinger's mind. And surely such
after-the-fact speculations were moot; if he had seen the man in black, no
consequence, paradox, or ordained course of destiny could have stopped him
from simply lowering the head of this body he inhabited and pounding it
straight through Walter's chest. Roland would have been as helpless to do
otherwise as a gun is helpless to refuse the finger that squeezes the trigger
and flings the bullet on its flight.
If it sent
all to hell, the hell with it.
He scanned
the people clustered on the corner quickly, seeing each face (he scanned the
women as closely as the men, making sure there wasn't one only pretending to
be a woman).
Walter
wasn't there.
Gradually
he relaxed, as a finger curled around a trigger may relax at the last instant.
No; Walter was nowhere around the boy, and the gunslinger somehow felt sure
that this wasn't the right when. Not quite. That when was
close—two weeks away, a week, maybe even a single day—but it was not quite yet.
So he went
back.
On the way
he saw . . .
6
. . . and fell senseless with shock: this man into whose mind the third
door opened, had once sat waiting just inside the window of a deserted tenement
room in a building full of abandoned rooms—abandoned, that was, except for the
winos and crazies who often spent their nights here. You knew about the winos
because you could smell their desperate sweat and angry piss. You knew about
the crazies because you could smell the stink of their deranged thoughts. The
only furniture in this room was two chairs. Jack Mort was using both: one to
sit in, one as a prop to keep the door opening on the hallway closed. He
expected no sudden interruptions, but it was best not to take chances. He was
close enough to the window to look out, but far enough behind the slanted
shadow-line to be safe from any casual viewer.
He had a
crumbly red brick in his hand.
He had
pried it from just outside the window, where a good many were loose. It was
old, eroded at the corners, but heavy. Chunks of ancient mortar clung to it
like barnacles.
The man
meant to drop the brick on someone.
He didn't
care who; when it came to murder, Jack Mort was an equal-opportunity employer.
After a
bit, a family of three came along the sidewalk below: man, woman, little girl.
The girl had been walking on the inside, presumably to keep her safely away
from the traffic. There was quite a lot of it this close to the railway station
but Jack Mort didn't care about the auto traffic. What he cared about was the
lack of buildings directly opposite him; these had already been demolished,
leaving a jumbled wasteland of splintered board, broken brick, glinting glass.
He would
only lean out for a few seconds, and he was wearing sunglasses over his eyes
and an out-of-season knit cap over his blonde hair. It was like the chair under
the doorknob. Even when you were safe from expected risks, there was no harm in
reducing those unexpected ones which remained.
He was
also wearing a sweatshirt much too big for him— one that came almost down to
mid-thigh. This bag of a garment would help confuse the actual size and shape
of his body (he was quite thin) should he be observed. It served another
purpose as well: whenever he "depth-charged" someone (for that was
how he always thought of it: as "depth-charging"), he came in his
pants. The baggy sweatshirt also covered the wet spot which invariably formed
on his jeans.
Now they
were closer.
Don't jump
the gun, wait, just wait. . .
He
shivered at the edge of the window, brought the brick forward, drew it back to
his stomach, brought it forward again, withdrew it again (but this time only
halfway), and then leaned out, totally cool now. He always was at the penultimate
moment.
He dropped
the brick and watched it fall.
It went
down, swapping one end for the other. Jack saw the clinging barnacles of mortar
clearly in the sun. At these moments as at no others everything was clear,
everything stood out with exact and geometrically perfect substance; here was a
thing which he had pushed into reality, as a sculptor swings a hammer against a
chisel to change stone and create some new substance from the brute caldera;
here was the world's most remarkable thing: logic which was also ecstasy.
Sometimes
he missed or struck aslant, as the sculptor may carve badly or in vain, but
this was a perfect shot. The brick struck the girl in the bright gingham dress
squarely on the head. He saw blood—it was brighter than the brick but would
eventually dry to the same maroon color—splash up. He heard the start of the
mother's scream. Then he was moving.
Jack
crossed the room and threw the chair which had been under the knob into a far
corner (he'd kicked the other—the one he'd sat in while waiting—aside as he
crossed the room). He yanked up the sweatshirt and pulled a bandanna from his
back pocket. He used it to turn the knob.
No
fingerprints allowed.
Only Don't
Bees left fingerprints.
He stuffed
the bandanna into his back pocket again even as the door was swinging open. As
he walked down the hall, he assumed a faintly drunken gait. He didn't look
around.
Looking
around was also only for Don't Bees.
Do Bees knew that trying to see if someone was noticing you was a
sure way to accomplish just that. Looking around was the sort of thing a
witness might remember after an accident. Then some smartass cop might
decide it was a suspicious accident, and there would be an
investigation. All because of one nervous glance around. Jack didn't believe
anyone could connect him with the crime even if someone decided the
"accident" was suspicious and there was an investigation,
but. . .
Take only
acceptable risks. Minimize those which remain.
In other
words, always prop a chair under the doorknob.
So he
walked down the powdery corridor where patches of lathing showed through the
plastered walls, he walked with his head down, mumbling to himself like the vags
you saw on the street. He could still hear the woman—the mother of the little
girl, he supposed—screaming, but that sound was coming from the front of the
building; it was faint and unimportant. All of the things which
happened after—the cries, the confusion, the wails of the wounded (if
the wounded were still capable of wailing), were not things which mattered to
Jack. What mattered was the thing which pushed change into the ordinary course
of things and sculpted new lines in the flow of lives . . . and, perhaps, the
destinies not only of those struck, but of a widening circle around them, like
ripples from a stone tossed into a still pond.
Who was to
say that he had not sculpted the cosmos today, or might not at some future
time?
God, no
wonder he creamed his jeans!
He met no
one as he went down the two flights of stairs but he kept up the act, swaying a
little as he went but never reeling. A swayer would not be remembered. An
ostentatious reeler might be. He muttered but didn't actually say anything a
person might understand. Not acting at all would be better than hamming it up.
He let
himself out the broken rear door into an alley filled with refuse and broken
bottles which twinkled galaxies of sun-stars.
He had
planned his escape in advance as he planned everything in advance (take only
acceptable risks, minimize those which remain, be a Do Bee in all things); such
planning was why he had been marked by his colleagues as a man who would go far
(and he did intend to go far, but one of the places he did not intend to
go was to jail, or the electric chair).
A few
people were running along the street into which the alley debouched, but they
were on their way to see what the screaming was about, and none of them looked
at Jack Mort, who had removed the out-of-season knit cap but not the sunglasses
(which, on such a bright morning, did not seem out of place).
He turned
into another alley.
Came out
on another street.
Now he
sauntered down an alley not so filthy as the first two—almost, in fact, a lane.
This fed into another street, and a block up there was a bus stop. Less than a
minute after he got there a bus arrived, which was also part of the schedule.
Jack entered when the doors accordioned open and dropped his fifteen cents into
the slot of the coin receptacle. The driver did not so much as glance at him.
That was good, but even if he had, he would have seen nothing but a nondescript
man in jeans, a man who might be out of work—the sweatshirt he was wearing
looked like something out of a Salvation Army grab-bag.
Be ready,
be prepared, be a Do-Bee.
Jack
Mort's secret for success both at work and at play.
Nine
blocks away there was a parking lot. Jack got off the bus, entered the lot,
unlocked his car (an unremarkable mid-fifties Chevrolet which was still in fine
shape), and drove back to New York City.
He was
free and clear.
7
The
gunslinger saw all of this in a mere moment. Before his shocked mind could shut
out the other images by simply shutting down, he saw more. Not all, but enough.
Enough.
8
He saw
Mort cutting a piece from page four of The New York Daily Mirror with an
Exacto knife, being fussily sure to stay exactly upon the lines of the column.
NEGRO GIRL COMATOSE FOLLOWING TRAGIC ACCIDENT, the headline read. He saw Mort
apply glue to the back of the clipping with the brush attached to the cover of
his paste-pot. Saw Mort position it at the center of a blank page of a
scrapbook, which, from the bumpy, swelled look of the foregoing pages,
contained many other clippings. He saw the opening lines of the piece:
"Five-year-old Odetta Holmes, who came to Elizabethtown, N.J., to
celebrate a joyous occasion, is now the victim of a cruel freak accident.
Following the wedding of an aunt two days ago, the girl and her family were
walking toward the railway station when a brick tumbled ..."
But that
wasn't the only time he'd had dealings with her, was it? No. Gods, no.
In the
years between that morning and the night when Odetta had lost her legs, Jack
Mort had dropped a great many things and pushed a great many people.
Then there
had been Odetta again.
The first
time he had pushed something on her.
The second
time he had pushed her in front of something.
What sort
of man is this that I am supposed to use? What sort of man—
But then
he thought of Jake, thought of the push which had sent Jake into this world,
and he thought he heard the laughter of the man in black, and that finished
him.
Roland
fainted.
9
When he
came to, he was looking at neat rows of figures marching down a sheet of green
paper. The paper had been ruled both ways, so that each single figure looked
like a prisoner in a cell.
He
thought: Something else.
Not just Walter's laughter. Something—a plan?
No, Gods,
no—nothing as complex or hopeful as that.
But an
idea, at least. A tickle.
How long
have I been out? he thought with sudden alarm.
It was maybe nine o' the clock when I came through the door, maybe a little
earlier. How long—?
He came
forward.
Jack
Mort—who was now only a human doll controlled by the gunslinger—looked up a
little and saw the hands of the expensive quartz clock on his desk stood at
quarter past one.
Gods, as
late as that? As late as that? But Eddie. . .he was so tired, he can never have
stayed awake for so I—
The
gunslinger turned Jack's head. The door was still there, but what he saw
through it was far worse, than he would have imagined.
Standing
to one side of the door were two shadows, one that of the wheelchair, the other
that of a human being. . . but the human being was incomplete, supporting
itself on its arms because its lower legs had been snatched away with the same
quick brutality as Roland's fingers and toe.
The shadow
moved.
Roland
whipped Jack Mort's head away at once, moving with the whiplash speed of a
striking snake.
She
mustn't look in. Not until I am ready. Until then, she sees nothing but the
back of this man's head.
Detta
Walker would not see Jack Mort in any case, because the person who looked
through the open door saw only what the host saw. She could only see Mort's
face if he looked into a mirror (although that might lead to its own awful
consequences of paradox and repetition), but even then it would mean nothing
to either Lady; for that matter, the Lady's face would not mean anything to
Jack Mort. Although they had twice been on terms of deadly intimacy, they had
never seen each other.
What the
gunslinger didn't want was for the Lady to see the Lady.
Not yet,
at least.
The spark
of intuition grew closer to a plan.
But it was
late over there—the light had suggested to him that it must be three in the
afternoon, perhaps even four.
How long
until sunset brought the lobstrosities, and the end of Eddie's life?
Three
hours?
Two?
He could
go back and try to save Eddie . . .but that was exactly what Detta wanted. She
had laid a trap, just as villagers who fear a deadly wolf may stake out a
sacrificial lamb to draw it into bowshot. He would go back into his diseased
body ... but not for long. The reason he had seen only her shadow was because
she was lying beside the door with one of his revolvers curled in her fist. The
moment his Roland-body moved, she would shoot it and end his life.
His
ending, because she feared him, would at least be merciful.
Eddie's would be a
screaming horror.
He seemed to hear
Detta Walker's nasty, giggling voice:
You want to go at me,
graymeat? Sho you want to go at me! You ain't afraid
of no lil ole cripple black woman, are you?
"Only one
way," Jack's mouth muttered. "Only one."
The door of the office
opened, and a bald man with lenses over his eyes looked in.
"How are you
doing on that Dorfman account?" the bald man asked.
"I feel ill. I
think it was my lunch. I think I might leave."
The bald man looked
worried. "It's probably a bug. I heard there's a nasty one going
around."
"Probably."
"Well. . . as
long as you get the Dorfman stuff finished by five tomorrow afternoon ..."
"Yes."
"Because you know
what a dong he can be—"
"Yes."
The bald man, now
looking a little uneasy, nodded. "Yes, go home. You don't seem like your
usual self at all."
"I'm not."
The bald man went out
the door in a hurry.
He sensed me,
the gunslinger thought. That was part of it. Part, but not all. They're
afraid of him. They don't know why, but they're afraid of him. And they're
right to be afraid.
Jack Mort's body got
up, found the briefcase the man had been carrying when the gunslinger entered
him, and swept all the papers on the surface of the desk into it.
He felt an urge to
sneak a look back at the door and resisted it. He would not look again until he
was ready to risk everything and come back.
In the meantime, time
was short and there were things which had to be done.
CHAPTER
2
THE
HONEYPOT
1
Detta laid up in a
deeply shadowed cleft formed by rocks which leaned together like old men who
had been turned to stone while sharing some weird secret. She watched Eddie
range up and down the rubble-strewn slopes of the hills, yelling himself
hoarse. The duck-fuzz on his cheeks was finally becoming a beard, and you might
have taken him for a growed man except for the three or four times he passed
close to her (once he had come close enough for her to have snaked a hand out
and grabbed his ankle). When he got close you saw he wasn't nothing but a kid
still, and one who was dog tired to boot.
Odetta would have felt
pity; Detta felt only the still, coiled readiness of the natural predator.
When she first crawled
in here she had felt things crackling under her hands like old autumn leaves
in a woods holler. As her eyes adjusted she saw they weren't leaves but the
tiny bones of small animals. Some predator, long gone if these ancient yellow
bones told the truth, had once denned here, something like a weasel or a
ferret. It had perhaps gone out at night, following its nose further up into
The Drawers to where the trees and undergrowth were thicker—following its nose
to prey. It had killed, eaten, and brought the remains back here to snack on
the following day as it laid up, waiting for night to bring the time of hunting
on again.
Now there was a bigger
predator here, and at first Detta thought she'd do pretty much what the
previous tenant had done: wait until Eddie fell asleep, as he was almost
certain to do, then kill him and drag his body up here. Then, with both guns in
her possession, she could drag herself back down by the doorway and wait for
the Really Bad Man to come back. Her first thought had been to kill the Really
Bad Man's body as soon as she had taken care of Eddie, but that was no good, was
it? If the Really Bad Man had no body to come back to, there would be no way
Detta could get out of here and back to her own world.
Could she make that
Really Bad Man take her back?
Maybe not.
But maybe so.
If he knew Eddie was
still alive, maybe so.
And that led to a much
better idea.
2
She was deeply sly.
She would have laughed harshly at anyone daring to suggest it, but she was also
deeply insecure. Because of the latter, she attributed the former to anyone she
met whose intellect seemed to approach her own. This was how she felt about the
gunslinger. She had heard a shot, and when she looked she'd seen smoke drifting
from the muzzle of his remaining gun. He had reloaded and tossed this gun to
Eddie just before going through the door.
She knew what it was
supposed to mean to Eddie: all the shells weren't wet after all; the gun would
protect him. She also knew what it was supposed to mean to her (for of
course the Really Bad Man had known she was watching; even if she had been
sleeping when the two of them started chinning, the shot would have awakened
her): Stay away from him. He's packing iron.
But devils could be
subtle.
It that little show
had been put on for her benefit, might not that Really Bad Man have had another
purpose in mind as well, one neither she nor Eddie was supposed to see?
Might that Really Bad Man not have been thinking if she sees this one
fires good shells, why, she'll think the one she took from Eddie does, too.
But suppose he had
guessed that Eddie would doze off? Wouldn't he know she would be waiting for
just that, waiting to filch the gun and creep slowly away up the slopes to
safety?
Yes, that Really Bad
Man might have foreseen all that. He was smart for a honky. Smart enough,
anyway, to see that Detta was bound to get the best of that little white boy.
So just maybe that
Really Bad Man had purposely loaded this gun with bad shells. He had fooled her
once; why not again? This time she had been careful to check that the chambers
were loaded with more than empty casings, and yes, they appeared to be
real bullets, but that didn't mean they were. He didn't even have to take the
chance that one of them might be dry enough to fire, now did he? He
could have fixed them somehow. After all, guns were the Really Bad Man's
business. Why would he do that? Why, to trick her into showing herself, of
course! Then Eddie could cover her with the gun that really did work,
and he would not make the same mistake twice, tired or not. He would, in fact,
be especially careful not to make the same mistake twice because he was tired.
Nice try, honky,
Detta thought in her shadowy den, this tight but somehow comforting dark place
whose floor was carpeted with the softened and decaying bones of small animals.
Nice try, but I ain't goin fo dat shit.
She didn't need to
shoot Eddie, after all; she only needed to wait.
3
Her one fear was that
the gunslinger would return before Eddie fell asleep, but he was still gone.
The limp body at the base of the door did not stir. Maybe he was having some
trouble getting the medicine he needed—some other kind of trouble, for all she
knew. Men like him seemed to find trouble easy as a bitch in heat finds a randy
hound.
Two hours passed while
Eddie hunted for the woman he called "Odetta" (oh how she hated the
sound of that name), ranging up and down the low hills and yelling until he had
no voice left to yell with.
At last Eddie did what
she had been waiting for: he went back down to the little angle of beach and
sat by the wheel-chair, looking around disconsolately. He touched one of the
chair's wheels, and the touch was almost a caress. Then his hand dropped away
and he fetched him a deep sigh.
This sight brought a
steely ache to Delta's throat; pain bolted across her head from one side to the
other like summer lightning and she seemed to hear a voice calling. . . calling
or demanding.
No you don't,
she thought, having no idea who she was thinking about or speaking to. No
you don't, not this time, not now. Not now, may be not ever again. That
bolt of pain ripped through her head again and she curled her hands into fists.
Her face made its own fist, twisting itself into a sneer of concentration—an
expression remarkable and arresting in its mixture of ugliness and almost
beatific determination.
That bolt of pain did
not come again. Neither did the voice which sometimes seemed to speak through
such pains.
She waited.
Eddie propped his chin
on his fists, propping his head up. Soon it began to droop anyway, the fists
sliding up his cheeks. Detta waited, black eyes gleaming.
Eddie's head jerked
up. He struggled to his feet, walked down to the water, and splashed his face
with it.
Dot's right, white
boy. Crine shame there ain't any No-Doz in this worl or you be takin
dat too, ain't dat right?
Eddie sat down in
the wheelchair this time, but evidently found that just a little too
comfortable. So, after a long look through the open door (what you seem in
dere, white boy? Detta give a twenty-dollar bill to know dat), he
plopped his ass down on the sand again.
Propped his head with
his hands again.
Soon his head began to
slip down again.
This time there was no
stopping it. His chin lay on his chest, and even over the surf she could hear
him snoring. Pretty soon he fell over on his side and curled up.
She was surprised,
disgusted, and frightened to feel a sudden stab of pity for the white boy down
there. He looked like nothing so much as a little squirt who had tried to stay
up until midnight on New Years' Eve and lost the race. Then she remembered the
way he and the Really Bad Man had tried to get her to eat poison food and
teased her with their own, always snatching away at the last second... at least
until they got scared she might die.
If
they were scared you might die, why'd they try to get you to eat poison in
the first place?
The question scared
her the way that momentary feeling of pity had scared her. She wasn't used to
questioning herself, and furthermore, the questioning voice in her mind didn't
seem like her voice at all.
Wadn't meanin to kill
me wid dat poison food. Jes wanted to make me sick. Set there and laugh while I
puked an moaned, I speck.
She waited twenty
minutes and then started down toward the beach, pulling herself with her hands
and strong arms, weaving like a snake, eyes never leaving Eddie. She would have
preferred to have waited another hour, even another half; it would be better to
have the little mahfah ten miles asleep instead of one or two. But waiting was
a luxury she simply could not afford. That Really Bad Man might come back
anytime.
As she drew near the
place where Eddie lay (he was still snoring, sounded like a buzzsaw in a
sawmill about to go tits up), she picked up a chunk of rock that was
satisfyingly smooth on one side and satisfyingly jagged on the other.
She closed her palm
over the smooth side and continued her snake-crawl to where he lay, the flat
sheen of murder in her eyes.
4
What Detta planned to
do was brutally simple: smash Eddie with the jagged side of the rock until he
was as dead as the rock itself. Then she'd take the gun and wait for Roland to
come back.
When his body sat up,
she would give him a choice: take her back to her world or refuse and be
killed. You goan be quits wid me either way, toots, she would say, and
wit yo boyfrien dead, ain't nothin more you can do like you said you wanted to.
If the gun the Really
Bad Man had given Eddie didn't work—it was possible; she had never met a man
she hated and feared as much as Roland, and she put no depth of slyness past
him—she would do him just the same. She would do him with the rock or with her
bare hands. He was sick and shy two fingers to boot. She could take him.
But as she approached
Eddie, a disquieting thought came to her. It was another question, and again it
seemed to be another voice that asked it.
What if he knows? What
if he knows what you did the second you kill Eddie?
He ain't goan know
nuthin. He be too busy gittin his medicine. Gittin hisself laid, too, for
all I know.
The alien voice did
not respond, but the seed of doubt had been planted. She had heard them talking
when they thought she was asleep. The Really Bad Man needed to do something.
She didn't know what it was. Had something to do with a tower was all Detta
knew. Could be the Really Bad Man thought this tower was full of gold or jewels
or something like that. He said he needed her and Eddie and some other one to
get there, and Detta guessed maybe he did. Why else would these doors be here?
If it was magic and
she killed Eddie, he might know. If she killed his way to the tower, she
thought she might be killing the only thing graymeat mahfah was living for. And
if he knew he had nothing to live for, mahfah might do anything, because the
mahfah wouldn't give a bug-turd for nothin no more.
The idea of what might
happen if the Really Bad Man came back like that made Detta shiver.
But if she couldn't
kill Eddie, what was she going to do? She could take the gun while Eddie was
asleep, but when the Really Bad Man came back, could she handle both of them?
She just didn't know.
Her eyes touched on
the wheelchair, started to move away, then moved back again, fast. There was a
deep pocket in the leather backrest. Poking out of this was a curl of the rope
they had used to tie her into the chair.
Looking at it, she
understood how she could do everything.
Detta changed course
and began to crawl toward the gunslinger's inert body. She meant to take what
she needed from the knapsack he called his "purse," then get the
rope, fast as she could . . . but for a moment she was held frozen by the door.
Like Eddie, she
interpreted what she was seeing in terms of the movies . . . only this looked
more like some TV crime show. The setting was a drug-store. She was seeing a
druggist who looked scared silly, and Detta didn't blame him. There was a gun
pointing straight into the druggist's face. The druggist was saying something,
but his voice was distant, distorted, as if heard through sound-baffles. She
couldn't tell what it was. She couldn't see who was holding the gun, either,
but then, she didn't really need to see the stick-up man, did she? She knew who
it was, sho.
It was the Really Bad
Man.
Might not
look like him over there, might look like some tubby little sack of shit,
might even look like a brother, but inside it be him, sho. Didn't take
him long to find another gun, did it? I bet it never does. You get movin, Detta
Walker.
She opened Roland's
purse, and the faint, nostalgic aroma of tobacco long hoarded but now long gone
drifted out. In one way it was very much like a lady's purse, filled with what looked
like so much random rickrack at first glance. . . but a closer look showed you
the travelling gear of a man prepared for almost any contingency.
She had an idea the
Really Bad Man had been on the road to his Tower a good long time. If that was
so, just the amount of stuff still left in here, poor as some of it was, was
cause for amazement.
You get movin, Detta
Walker.
She got what she
needed and worked her silent, snakelike way back to the wheelchair. When she
got there she propped herself on one arm and pulled the rope out of the pocket
like a fisherwoman reeling in line. She glanced over at Eddie every now and
then just to make sure he was asleep.
He never stirred until
Detta threw the noose around his neck and pulled it taut.
5
He was dragged backward,
at first thinking he was still asleep and this was some horrible nightmare of
being buried alive or perhaps smothered.
Then he felt the pain
of the noose sinking into his throat, felt warm spit running down his chin as
he gagged. This was no dream. He clawed at the rope and tried for his feet.
She yanked him hard
with her strong arms. Eddie tell on his back with a thud. His face was turning
purple.
"Quit on
it!" Detta hissed from behind him. "I ain't goan kill you if you quit
on it, but if you don't, I'm goan choke you dead."
Eddie lowered his
hands and tried to be still. The running slipknot Odetta had tossed over his
neck loosened enough for him to draw a thin, burning breath. All you could say
for it was that it was better than not breathing at all.
When the panicked
beating of his heart had slowed a little, he tried to look around. The noose
immediately drew tight again.
"Nev’ mind. You
jes go on an take in dat ocean view, graymeat. Dat's all you want to be lookin
at right now."
He looked back at the
ocean and the knot loosened enough to allow him those miserly burning breaths
again. His left hand crept surreptitiously down to the waistband of his pants
(but she saw the movement, and although he didn't know it, she was grinning).
There was nothing there. She had taken the gun.
She crept up on you
while you were asleep, Eddie. It was the
gunslinger's voice, of course. It doesn't do any good to say I told you so
now, but. . . I told you so. This is what romance gets you—a noose around your
neck and a crazy woman with two guns somewhere behind you.
But if she was going
to kill me, she already would have done it. She would have done it while I was
asleep.
And what is it you
think she's going to do, Eddie? Hand you an all-expenses-paid trip for two to
Disney World?
"Listen," he
said. "Odetta—"
The word was barely
out of his mouth before the noose pulled savagely tight again.
"You doan want to
be callin me dat. Nex time you be callin me dat be de las time you be callin
anyone anythin. My name's Detta Walker, and if you want to keep
drawin breaf into yo lungs, you little piece of whitewashed shit, you better
member it!"
Eddie made choking,
gagging noises and clawed at the noose. Big black spots of nothing began to
explode in front of his eyes like evil flowers.
At last the choking
band around his throat eased again.
"Got dat,
honky?"
"Yes," he
said, but it was only a hoarse choke of sound.
"Den say it. Say
my name."
"Detta."
"Say my whole
name!" Dangerous hysteria wavered in her voice, and at that moment Eddie
was glad he couldn't see her.
"Detta
Walker."
"Good." The
noose eased a little more. "Now you lissen to me, whitebread, and you do
it good, if you want to live til sundown. You don't want to be trine to be
cute, like I seen you jus trine t'snake down an git dat gun I took off'n you
while you was asleep. You don't want to cause Detta, she got the sight. See
what you goan try befo you try it. Sho.
"You don't want
to try nuthin cute cause I ain't got no legs, either. I have learned to do a
lot of things since I lost em, and now I got both o dat honky mahfah's
guns, and dat ought to go for somethin. You think so?"
"Yeah,"
Eddie croaked. "I'm not feeling cute."
"Well, good.
Dat's real good." She cackled. "I been one busy bitch while
you been sleepin. Got dis bidness all figured out. Here's what I want you to
do, whitebread: put yo hands behin you and feel aroun until you find a loop j
us like d'one I got roun yo neck. There be three of em. I been braidin while
you been sleepin, lazybones!" She cackled again. "When you feel dat
loop, you goan put yo wrists right one against t'other an slip em through it.
"Den
you goan feel my hand pullin that runnin knot tight, and when you feel dat,
you goan say 'Dis my chance to toin it aroun on disyere nigger bitch. Right
here, while she ain't got her good hold on dat jerk-rope.' But—" Here
Delta's voice became muffled as well as a Southern darkie caricature.
"—you better take a look aroun befo you go doin anythin rash."
Eddie did. Detta
looked more witchlike than ever, a dirty, matted thing that would have struck
tear into hearts much stouter than his own. The dress she had been wearing in
Macy's when the gunslinger snatched her was now filthy and torn. She'd used the
knife she had taken from the gunslinger's purse—the one he and Roland had used
to cut the masking tape away—to slash her dress in two other places, creating
makeshift holsters just above the swell of her hips. The worn butts of the
gunslinger's revolvers protruded from them.
Her voice was muffled
because the end of the rope was clenched in her teeth. A freshly cut end
protruded from one side of her grin; the rest of the line, the part which led
to the noose around his neck, protruded from the other side. There was
something so predatory and barbaric about this image— the rope caught in the
grin—that he was frozen, staring at her with a horror that only made her grin
widen.
"You try to be
cute while I be takin care of yo hans," she said in her muffled voice,
"I goanjoik yo win'pipe shut wif my teef, graymeat. And dat
time I not be lettin up agin. You understan?"
He didn't trust
himself to speak. He only nodded.
"Good. Maybe you
be livin a little bit longer after all."
"If I
don't," Eddie croaked, "you're never going to have the pleasure of
shoplifting in Macy's again, Detta. Because he'll know, and then it'll be
everybody out of the pool."
"Hush up,"
Detta said. . . almost crooned. "You jes hush up. Leave the thinkin to the
folks dat kin do it. All you got to do is be feelin aroun fo dat next
loop."
6
I
been braidin while you been sleepin, she had said, and with disgust and
mounting alarm, Eddie discovered she meant exactly what she said. The rope had
become a series of three running slip-knots. The first she had noosed around
his neck as he slept. The second secured his hands behind his back.
Then she pushed him
roughly over on his side and told him to bring his feet up until his heels
touched his butt. He saw where this was leading and balked. She pulled one of
Roland's revolvers from the slit in her dress, cocked it, and pressed the
muzzle against Eddie's temple.
"You do it or I
do it, graymeat," she said in that crooning voice. "Only if I do
it, you goan be dead when I do. I jes kick some san' over de brains dat squoit
out d'other side yo haid, cover de hole wit yo hair. He think you be
sleepin!" She cackled again.
Eddie brought his feet
up, and she quickly secured the third running slip-knot around his ankles.
"There. Trussed
up just as neat as a calf at a ro-day-o."
That described it as
well as anything, Eddie thought. If he tried to bring his feet down from a
position which was already growing uncomfortable, he would tighten the slipknot
holding his ankles even more. That would tighten the length of rope between
his ankles and his wrists, which would in turn tighten that slipknot,
and the rope between his wrists and the noose she'd put around his neck, and .
. .
She was dragging him,
somehow dragging him down the beach.
"Hey! What—"
He tried to pull back
and felt everything tighten— including his ability to draw breath. He let
himself go as limp as possible (and keep those feet up, don't forget that,
asshole, because if you lower your feet enough you're going to strangle) and
let her drag him along the rough ground. A jag of rock peeled skin away from
his cheek, and he felt warm blood begin to flow. She was panting harshly. The
sound of the waves and the boom of surf ramming into the rock tunnel were
louder.
Drown me? Sweet
Christ, is that what she means to do?
No, of course not. He
thought he knew what she meant to do even before his face plowed through the
twisted kelp which marked the high tide line, dead salt-stinking stuff as cold
as the fingers of drowned sailors.
He remembered Henry
saying once, Sometimes they'd shoot one of our guys. An American, I
mean—they knew an ARVN was no good, because wasn't any of us that'd go after a
gook in the bush. Not unless he was some fresh fish just over from the States.
They'd guthole him, leave him screaming, then pick off the guys that tried to
save him. They'd keep doing that until the guy died. You know what they called
a guy like that, Eddie?
Eddie had shaken his
head, cold with the vision of it.
They called him a
honey-pot, Henry had said. Something sweet. Something
to draw flies. Or maybe even a bear.
That's what Detta was
doing: using him as a honeypot.
She left him some
seven feet below the high tide line, left him without a word, left him facing
the ocean. It was not the tide coming in to drown him that the gunslinger,
looking through the door, was supposed to see, because the tide was on the ebb
and wouldn't get up this far again for another six hours. And long before then
. . .
Eddie rolled his eyes
up a little and saw the sun striking a long gold track across the ocean. What
was it? Four o'clock? About that. Sunset would come around seven.
It would be dark long
before he had to worry about the tide.
And when dark came,
the lobstrosities would come rolling out of the waves; they would crawl their
questioning way up the beach to where he lay helplessly trussed, and then they
would tear him apart.
7
That time stretched
out interminably for Eddie Dean. The idea of time itself became a joke. Even
his horror of what was going to happen to him when it got dark faded as his
legs began to throb with a discomfort which worked its way up the scale of
feeling to pain and finally to shrieking agony. He would relax his muscles, all
the knots would pull tight, and when he was on the verge of strangling he would
manage somehow to pull his ankles up again, releasing the pressure, allowing
some breath to return. He was no longer sure he could make it to dark. There
might come a time when he would simply be unable to bring his legs back up.
CHAPTER
3
ROLAND
TAKES HIS
MEDICINE
1
Now Jack Mort knew the
gunslinger was here. If he had been another person—an Eddie Dean or an Odetta
Walker, for instance—Roland would have held palaver with the man, if only to
ease his natural panic and confusion at suddenly finding one's self shoved
rudely into the passenger seat of the body one's brain had driven one's whole
life.
But because Mort was a
monster—worse, than Detta Walker ever had been or could be—he made no effort to
explain or speak at all. He could hear the man's clamorings— Who are you?
What's happening to me?—but disregarded them. The gunslinger concentrated
on his short list of necessities, using the man's mind with no compunction at
all. The clamorings became screams of terror. The gunslinger went right on
disregarding them.
The only way he could
remain in the worm-pit which was this man's mind was to regard him as no more
than a combination atlas and encyclopedia. Mort had all the information Roland
needed. The plan he made was rough, but rough was often better than smooth.
When it came to planning, there were no creatures in the universe more
different than Roland and Jack Mort.
When you planned
rough, you allowed room for improvisation. And improvisation at short notice had
always been one of Roland's strong points.
2
A fat man with lenses
over his eyes, like the bald man who had poked his head into Mort's office five
minutes earlier (it seemed that in Eddie's world many people wore these, which
his Mortcypedia identified as "glasses"), got into the elevator with
him. He looked at the briefcase in the hand of the man who he believed to be
Jack Mort and then at Mort himself.
"Going to see
Dorfman, Jack?"
The gunslinger said
nothing.
"If you think you
can talk him out of sub-leasing, I can tell you it's a waste of time," the
fat man said, then blinked as his colleague took a quick step backward. The
doors of the little box closed and suddenly they were falling.
He clawed at Mort's
mind, ignoring the screams, and found this was all right. The fall was
controlled.
"If I spoke out
of turn, I'm sorry," the fat man said. The gunslinger thought: This one
is afraid, too. "You've handled the jerk better than anyone else in
the firm, that's what I think."
The gunslinger said
nothing. He waited only to be out of this falling coffin.
"I say so,
too," the fat man continued eagerly. "Why, just yesterday I was at
lunch with—"
Jack Mort's head
turned, and behind Jack Mort's gold-rimmed glasses, eyes that seemed a somehow
different shade of blue than Jack's eyes had ever been before stared at the fat
man. "Shut up," the gunslinger said tonelessly.
Color fell from the
fat man's face and he took two quick steps backward. His flabby buttocks
smacked the fake wood panels at the back of the little moving coffin, which
suddenly stopped. The doors opened and the gunslinger, wearing Jack Mort's body
like a tight-fitting set of clothes, stepped out with no look back. The fat man
held his finger on the DOOR OPEN button of the elevator and waited inside until
Mort was out of sight. Always did have a screw loose, the fat man
thought, but this could be serious. This could be a breakdown.
The fat man found that
the idea of Jack Mort tucked safely away in a sanitarium somewhere was very
comforting.
The gunslinger
wouldn't have been surprised.
3
Somewhere between the
echoing room which his Mortcypedia identified as a lobby, to wit, a
place of entry and exit from the offices which filled this sky-tower, and the
bright sunshine of street (his Mortcypedia identified this street as both 6th
Avenue and Avenue of the Americas), the screaming of Roland's host
stopped. Mort had not died of fright; the gunslinger felt with a deep instinct
which was the same as knowing that if Mort died, their kas would be
expelled forever, into that void of possibility which lay beyond all physical
worlds. Not dead—fainted. Fainted at the overload of terror and strangeness, as
Roland himself had done upon entering the man's mind and discovering its
secrets and the crossing of destinies too great to be coincidence.
He was glad Mort had
fainted. As long as the man's unconsciousness hadn't affected Roland's access
to the man's knowledge and memories—and it hadn't—he was glad to have him out
of the way.
The yellow cars were
public conveyences called Tack-Sees or Cabs or Hax. The
tribes which drove them, the Mortcypedia told him, were two: Spix
andMockies. To make one stop, you held your hand up like a pupil in a
classroom.
Roland did this, and
after several Tack-Sees which were obviously empty save for their
drivers had gone by him, he saw that these had signs which read Off-Duty.
Since these were Great Letters, the gunslinger didn't need Mort's help. He
waited, then put his hand up again. This time the Tack-See pulled over.
The gunslinger got into the back seat. He smelled old smoke, old sweat, old
perfume. It smelled like a coach in his own world.
"Where to, my
friend?" the driver asked—Roland had no idea if he was of the Spix
or Mockies tribe, and had no intention of asking. It might be impolite
in this world.
"I'm not
sure," Roland said.
"This ain't no
encounter group, my friend. Time is money."
Tell him to put his
flag down, the Mortcypedia told him.
"Put your flag
down," Roland said.
"That ain't rolling
nothing but time," the driver replied.
Tell him you'll tip
him five bux, the Mortcypedia advised.
"I'll tip you
five bucks," Roland said.
"Let's see
it," the cabbie replied. "Money talks, bullshit walks."
Ask him if he wants
the money or if he wants to go fuck himself, the
Mortcypedia advised instantly.
"Do you want the
money, or do you want to go fuck yourself?" Roland asked in a cold, dead
voice.
The cabbie's eyes
glanced apprehensively into the rear-view mirror for just a moment, and he said
no more.
Roland consulted Jack
Mort's accumulated store of knowledge more fully this time. The cabbie glanced
up again, quickly, during the fifteen seconds his fare spent simply sitting
there with his head slightly lowered and his left hand spread across his brow,
as if he had an Excedrin Headache. The cabbie had decided to tell the guy to
get out or he'd yell for a cop when the fare looked up and said mildly,
"I'd like you to take me to Seventh Avenue and Forty-Ninth street. For
this trip I will pay you ten dollars over the fare on your taxi meter, no
matter what your tribe."
A weirdo,
the driver (a WASP from Vermont trying to break into showbiz) thought, but
maybe a rich weirdo. He dropped the cab into gear. "We're
there, buddy," he said, and pulling into traffic he added mentally, And
the sooner the better.
4
Improvise.
That was the word.
The gunslinger saw the
blue-and-white parked down the block when he got out, and read Police as
Posse without checking Mort's store of knowledge. Two gunslingers
inside, drinking something—coffee, maybe—from white paper glasses. Gunslingers,
yes—but they looked fat and lax.
He reached into Jack
Mort's wallet (except it was much too small to be a real wallet; a real
wallet was almost as big as a purse and could carry all of a man's things, if
he wasn't travelling too heavy) and gave the driver a bill with the number 20
on it. The cabbie drove away fast. It was easily the biggest tip he'd make that
day, but the guy was so freaky he felt he had earned every cent of it.
The gunslinger looked
at the sign over the shop. CLEMENTS GUNS AND SPORTING GOODS, it said. AMMO,
FISHING TACKLE, OFFICIAL FACSIMILES.
He didn't understand
all of the words, but one look in the window was all it took for him to see
Mort had brought him to the right place. There were wristbands on display,
badges of rank . . . and guns. Rifles, mostly, but pistols as well. They were
chained, but that didn't matter.
He would know what he
needed when—if—he saw it. Roland consulted Jack Mort's mind—a mind
exactly sly enough to suit his purposes—for more than a minute.
5
One of the cops in the
blue-and-white elbowed the other. "Now that," he said, "is a serious
comparison shopper."
His partner laughed.
"Oh God," he said in an effeminate voice as the man in the
business suit and gold-rimmed glasses finished his study of the merchandise on
display and went inside. "I think he jutht dethided on the lavender
handcuffths."
The first cop choked
on a mouthful of lukewarm coffee and sprayed it back into the styrofoam cup in
a gust of laughter.
6
A clerk came over
almost at once and asked if he could be of help.
"I wonder,"
the man in the conservative blue suit replied, "if you have a paper
..." He paused, appeared to think deeply, and then looked up. "A chart,
I mean, which shows pictures of revolver ammunition."
"You mean a
caliber chart?" the clerk asked.
The customer paused,
then said, "Yes. My brother has a revolver. I have fired it, but it's been
a good many years. I think I will know the bullets if I see them."
"Well, you may
think so," the clerk replied, "but it can be hard to tell. Was it a
.22? A .38? Or maybe—"
"If
you have a chart, I'll know," Roland said.
"Just
a sec." The clerk looked at the man in the blue suit doubtfully for a
moment, then shrugged. Fuck, the customer was always right, even when he was
wrong ... if he had the dough to pay, that was. Money talked, bullshit walked.
"I got a Shooter's Bible. Maybe that's what you ought to look
at."
"Yes."
He smiled. Shooter's Bible. It was a noble name for a book.
The man
rummaged under the counter and brought out a well-thumbed volume as thick as
any book the gunslinger had ever seen in his life—and yet this man seemed to
handle it as if it were no more valuable than a handful of stones.
He opened
it on the counter and turned it around. "Take a look. Although if it's
been years, you're shootin' in the dark." He looked surprised, then
smiled. "Pardon my pun."
Roland
didn't hear. He was bent over the book, studying pictures which seemed almost
as real as the things they represented, marvellous pictures the Mortcypedia
identified as Fottergraffs.
He turned
the pages slowly. No ... no ... no ...
He had
almost lost hope when he saw it. He looked up at the clerk with such blazing excitement
that the clerk felt a little afraid.
"There!"
he said. "There! Right there!"
The
photograph he was tapping was one of a Winchester .45 pistol shell. It was not
exactly the same as his own shells, because it hadn't been hand-thrown or
hand-loaded, but he could see without even consulting the figures (which would
have meant almost nothing to him anyway) that it would chamber and fire from
his guns.
"Well,
all right, I guess you found it," the clerk said, "but don't cream
your jeans, fella. I mean, they're just bullets."
"You
have them?"
"Sure.
How many boxes do you want?"
"How
many in a box?"
"Fifty."
The clerk began to look at the gunslinger with real suspicion. If the guy was
planning to buy shells, he must know he'd have to show a Permit to Carry
photo-I.D. No P.C., no ammo, not for handguns; it was the law in the borough of
Manhattan. And if this dude had a handgun permit, how come he didn't know how
many shells came in a standard box of ammo?
"Fifty!"
Now the guy was staring at him with slack-jawed surprise. He was off the wall,
all right.
The clerk
edged a bit to his left, a bit nearer the cash register. . . and, not so
coincidentally, a bit nearer to his own gun, a .357 Mag which he kept fully
loaded in a spring clip under the counter.
"Fifty!"
the gunslinger repeated. He had expected five,
ten, perhaps as many as a dozen, but this . . . this . . .
How much
money do you have? he asked the Mortcypedia. The
Mortcypedia didn't know, not exactly, but thought there was at least sixty bux
in his wallet.
"And
how much does a box cost?" It would be more than sixty dollars, he
supposed, but the man might be persuaded to sell him part of a box, or—
"Seventeen-fifty,"
the clerk said. "But, mister—"
Jack Mort
was an accountant, and this time there was no waiting; translation and answer
came simultaneously.
"Three,"
the gunslinger said. "Three boxes." He tapped the Fotergraff of
the shells with one finger. One hundred and fifty rounds! Ye gods! What a mad
storehouse of riches this world was!
The clerk
wasn't moving.
"You
don't have that many," the gunslinger said. He felt no real surprise. It
had been too good to be true. A dream.
"Oh,
I got Winchester .45s I got .45s up the kazoo." The clerk took another step
to the left, a step closer to the cash register and the gun. If the guy was a
nut, something the clerk expected to find out for sure any second now, he was
soon going to be a nut with an extremely large hole in his midsection. "I
got .45 ammo up the old ying-yang. What I want to know, mister, is if you got
the card."
"Card?"
"A
handgun permit with a photo. I can't sell you handgun ammo unless you can show
me one. If you want to buy ammo without a P.C., you're gonna hafta go up to
Westchester."
The gunslinger
stared at the man blankly. This was all gabble to him. He understood none of
it. His Mortcypedia had some vague notion of what the man meant, but Mort's
ideas were too vague to be trusted in this case. Mort had never owned a gun in
his life. He did his nasty work in other ways.
The man
sidled another step to the left without taking his eyes from his customer's
face and the gunslinger thought: He's got a gun. He expects me to make
trouble ... or maybe he wants me to make trouble. Wants an excuse
to shoot me.
Improvise.
He
remembered the gunslingers sitting in their blue and white carriage down the
street. Gunslingers, yes, peacekeepers, men charged with keeping the world
from moving on. But these had looked—at least on a passing glance—to be nearly
as soft and unobservant as everyone else in this world of lotus-eaters; just
two men in uniforms and caps, slouched down in the seats of their carriage,
drinking coffee. He might have misjudged. He hoped for all their sakes—that he
had not.
"Oh!
I understand," the gunslinger said, and drew an apologetic smile on Jack
Mort's face. "I'm sorry. I guess I haven't kept track of how much the
world has moved on— changed—since I last owned a gun."
"No
harm done," the clerk said, relaxing minutely. Maybe the guy was all
right. Or maybe he was pulling a gag.
"I
wonder if I could look at that cleaning kit?" Roland pointed to a shelf
behind the clerk.
"Sure."
The clerk turned to get it, and when he did, the gunslinger removed the wallet
from Mort's inside jacket pocket. He did this with the flickering speed of a
fast draw. The clerk's back was to him for less than four seconds, but when he
turned back to Mort, the wallet was on the floor.
"It's
a beaut," the clerk said, smiling, having decided the guy was okay after
all. Hell, he knew how lousy you felt when you made a horse's ass of yourself.
He had done it in the Marines enough times. "And you don't need a goddam
permit to buy a cleaning kit, either. Ain't freedom wonderful?"
"Yes,"
the gunslinger said seriously, and pretended to look closely at the cleaning
kit, although a single glance was enough to show him that it was a shoddy thing
in a shoddy box. While he looked, he carefully pushed Mort's wallet under the
counter with his foot.
After a
moment he pushed it back with a passable show of regret. "I'm afraid I'll
have to pass."
"All
right," the clerk said, losing interest abruptly. Since the guy wasn't
crazy and was obviously a looker, not a buyer, their relationship was at an
end. Bullshit walks. "Anything else?" His mouth asked while his eyes
told blue-suit to get out.
"No,
thank you." The gunslinger walked out without a look back. Mort's wallet
was deep under the counter. Roland had set out his own honeypot.
7
Officers Carl
Delevan and George O'Mearah had finished their coffee and were about to move on
when the man in the blue suit came out of Clements'—which both cops believed to
be a powderhorn (police slang for a legal gunshop which sometimes sells guns to
independent stick-up men with proven credentials and which does business,
sometimes in bulk, to the Mafia), and approached their squad car.
He leaned
down and looked in the passenger side window at O'Mearah. O'Mearah expected the
guy to sound like a fruit—probably as fruity as his routine about the lavender
handcuffths had suggested, but a pouf all the same. Guns aside, Clements' did a
lively trade in handcuffs. These were legal in Manhattan, and most of the
people buying them weren't amateur Houdinis (the cops didn't like it, but when
had what the cops thought on any given subject ever changed things?).
The buyers were homos with a little taste for s & m. But the man didn't
sound like a fag at all. His voice was flat and expressionless, polite but
somehow dead.
"The
tradesman in there took my wallet," he said.
"Who?"
O'Mearah straightened up fast. They had been
itching to bust Justin Clements for a year and a half. If it could be done,
maybe the two of them could finally swap these bluesuits for detective's
badges. Probably just a pipe-dream— this was too good to be true—but just the
same . . .
"The
tradesman. The—" A brief pause. "The clerk."
O'Mearah
and Carl Delevan exchanged a glance.
"Black
hair?" Delevan asked. "On the stocky side?"
Again
there was the briefest pause. "Yes. His eyes were brown. Small scar under
one of them."
There was
something about the guy . . . O'Mearah couldn't put his finger on it then, but
remembered later on, when there weren't so many other things to think about.
The chief of which, of course, was the simple fact that the gold detective's
badge didn't matter; it turned out that just holding onto the jobs they had
would be a pure brassy-ass miracle.
But years
later there was a brief moment of epiphany when O'Mearah took his two sons to
the Museum of Science in Boston. They had a machine there—a computer—that
played tic-tac-toe, and unless you put your X in the middle square on your
first move, the machine fucked you over every time. But there was always a
pause as it checked its memory for all possible gambits. He and his boys had
been fascinated. But there was something spooky about it... and then he remembered
Blue-Suit. He remembered because Blue-Suit had had that some fucking habit.
Talking to him had been like talking to a robot.
Delevan
had no such feeling, but nine years later, when he took his own son (then
eighteen and about to start college) to the movies one night, Delevan would
rise unexpectedly to his feet about thirty minutes into the feature and scream,
"It's him! That's HIM! That's the guy in the fucking blue suit! The guy
who was at Cle—"
Somebody
would shout Down in front! but needn't have bothered; Delevan, seventy
pounds overweight and a heavy smoker, would be struck by a fatal heart attack
before the complainer even got to the second word. The man in the blue suit who
approached their cruiser that day and told them about his stolen wallet didn't
look like the star of the movie, but the dead delivery of words had been the
same; so had been the somehow relentless yet graceful way he moved.
The movie,
of course, had been The Terminator.
8
The cops
exchanged a glance. The man Blue-Suit was talking about wasn't Clements, but
almost as good: "Fat Johnny" Holden, Clements' brother-in-law. But to
have done something as totally dumb-ass as simply stealing a guy's wallet would
be—
—would
be right up that gink's alley, O'Mearah's mind finished, and he had to put
a hand to his mouth to cover a momentary little grin.
"Maybe
you better tell us exactly what happened," Dele-van said. "You can
start with your name."
Again, the
man's response struck O'Mearah as a little wrong, a little off-beat. In this
city, where it sometimes seemed that seventy per cent of the population
believed Go fuck yourself was American for Have a nice day, he
would have expected the guy to say something like, Hey, that S.O.B. took my
wallet! Are you going to get it back for me or are we going to stand out here
playing Twenty Questions?
But there
was the nicely cut suit, the manicured fingernails. A guy maybe used to
dealing with bureaucratic bullshit. In truth, George O'Mearah didn't care much.
The thought of busting Fat Johnny Holden and using him as a lever on Arnold
Clements made O'Mearah's mouth water. For one dizzy moment he even allowed
himself to imagine using Holden to get Clements and Clements to get one of the
really big guys—that wop Balazar, for instance, or maybe Ginelli. That wouldn't
be too tacky. Not too tacky at all.
"My
name is Jack Mort," the man said.
Delevan
had taken a butt-warped pad from his back pocket. "Address?"
That
slight pause. Like the machine, O'Mearah thought again. A moment of
silence, then an almost audible click.
"409
Park Avenue South."
Delevan
jotted it down.
"Social
Security number?"
After
another slight pause, Mort recited it.
"Want
you to understand I gotta ask you these questions for identification purposes.
If the guy did take your wallet, it's nice if I can say you told me
certain stuff before I take it into my possession. You understand."
"Yes."
Now there was the slightest hint of impatience in the man's voice. It made
O'Mearah feel a little better about him somehow. "Just don't drag it out
any more than you have to. Time passes, and—"
"Things
have a way of happening, yeah, I dig."
"Things
have a way of happening," the man in the blue suit agreed.
"Yes."
"Do
you have a photo in your wallet that's distinctive?"
A pause.
Then: "A picture of my mother taken in front of the Empire State Building.
On the back is written: 'It was a wonderful day and a wonderful view. Love,
Mom.' "
Delevan
jotted furiously, then snapped his notebook closed. "Okay. That should do
it. Only other thing'll be to have you write your signature if we get the
wallet back and compare it with the sigs on your driver's license, credit
cards, stuff like that. Okay?"
Roland
nodded, although part of him understood that, although he could draw on Jack
Mort's memories and knowledge of this world as much as he needed, he hadn't a
chance in hell of duplicating Mort's signature with Mort's consciousness absent,
as it was now.
"Tell
us what happened."
"I
went in to buy shells for my brother. He has a .45 Winchester revolver. The man
asked me if I had a Permit to Carry. I said of course. He asked to see
it."
Pause.
"I took
out my wallet. I showed him. Only when I turned my wallet around to do that
showing, he must have seen there were quite a few—" slight pause
"—twenties in there. I am a tax accountant. I have a client named Dorfman
who just won a small tax refund after an extended—" pause
"—litigation. The sum was only eight hundred dollars, but this man, Dorfman,
is—" pause "—the biggest prick we handle." Pause. "Pardon
my pun."
O'Mearah
ran the man's last few words back through his head and suddenly got it. The
biggest prick we handle. Not bad. He laughed. Thoughts of robots and machines
that played tic-tac-toe went out of his mind. The guy was real enough, just
upset and trying to hide it by being cool.
"Anyway,
Dorfman wanted cash. He insisted on cash."
"You
think Fat Johnny got a look at your client's dough,"
Delevan
said. He and O'Mearah got out of the blue-and-white.
"Is
that what you call the man in the that shop?"
"Oh,
we call him worse than that on occasion," Delevan said. "What
happened after you showed him your P.C., Mr. Mort?"
"He
asked for a closer look. I gave him my wallet but he didn't look at the
picture. He dropped it on the floor. I asked him what he did that for. He said
that was a stupid question. Then I told him to give me back my wallet. I was
mad."
"I
bet you were." Although, looking at the man's dead face, Delevan thought
you'd never guess this man could get mad.
"He
laughed. I started to come around the counter and get it. That was when he
pulled the gun."
They had
been walking toward the shop. Now they stopped. They looked excited rather than
fearful. "Gun?" O'Mearah asked, wanting to be sure he had
heard right.
"It
was under the counter, by the cash register," the man in the blue suit
said. Roland remembered the moment when he had almost junked his original plan
and gone for the man's weapon. Now he told these gunslingers why he hadn't. He
wanted to use them, not get them killed. "I think it was in a docker's
clutch."
"A what?"
O'Mearah asked.
"A
longer pause this time. The man's forehead wrinkled. "I don't know exactly
how to say it... a thing you put your gun into. No one can grab it but you
unless they know how to push—"
"A
spring-clip!" Delevan said. "Holy shit!" Another exchange of
glances between the partners. Neither wanted to be the first to tell this guy
that Fat Johnny had probably harvested the cash from his wallet already,
shucked his buns out the back door, and tossed it over the wall of the alley
behind the building. . . but a gun in a spring-clip. . . that was different.
Robbery was a possible, but all at once a concealed weapons charge looked like
a sure thing. Maybe not as good, but a foot in the door.
"What
then?" O'Mearah asked.
"Then
he told me I didn't have a wallet. He said—'' pause"—that I got my picket
pocked—my pocket picked, I mean— on the street and I'd better remember it if I
wanted to stay healthy. I remembered seeing a police car parked up the block
and I thought you might still be there. So I left."
"Okay,"
Delevan said. "Me and my partner are going in first, and fast. Give us
about a minute—a full minute—just in case there's some trouble. Then
come in, but stand by the door. Do you understand?"
"Yes."
"Okay.
Let's bust this motherfucker."
The two
cops went in. Roland waited thirty seconds and then followed them.
9
"Fat
Johnny" Holden was doing more than protesting. He was bellowing.
"Guy's
crazy! Guy comes in here, doesn't even know what he wants, then, when he sees
it in the Shooter's Bible, he don't know how many comes in a box, how
much they cost, and what he says about me wantin' a closer look at his P.C. is
the biggest pile of shit I ever heard, because he don't have no Permit
to—" Fat Johnny broke off. "There he is! There's the creep! Right
there! I see you, buddy! I see your face! Next time you see mine you're gonna
be fuckin sorry! I guarantee you that! I fuckin guarantee—"
"You
don't have this man's wallet?" O'Mearah asked.
"You know
I don't have his wallet!"
"You
mind if we take a look behind this display case?" Delevan countered.
"Just to be sure?"
"Jesus-fuckin-jumped-up-Christ-on-a-pony!
The case is glass! You see any wallets there?"
"No,
not there ... I meant here," Delevan said, moving toward the
register. His voice was a cat's purr. At this point a chrome-steel reinforcing
strip almost two feet wide ran down the shelves of the case. Delevan looked
back at the man in the blue suit, who nodded.
"I
want you guys out of here right now," Fat Johnny said. He had lost some of
his color. "You come back with a warrant, that's different. But for now, I
want you the fuck out. Still a free fuckin country, you kn—hey! hey! HEY,
QUIT THAT!"
O'Mearah
was peering over the counter.
"That's
illegal!" Fat Johnny was howling. "That's
fuckin illegal, the Constitution . . . my fuckin lawyer. . . you get back on
your side right now or—"
"I
just wanted a closer look at the merchandise," O'Mearah said mildly,
"on account of the glass in your display case is so fucking dirty. That's
why I looked over. Isn't it, Carl?"
"True
shit, buddy," Delevan said solemnly.
"And
look what I found."
Roland
heard a click, and suddenly the gunslinger in the blue uniform was
holding an extremely large gun in his hand.
Fat
Johnny, who had finally realized he was the only person in the room who would
tell a story that differed from the fairy tale just told by the cop who had
taken his Mag, turned sullen.
"I
got a permit," he said.
"To
carry?" Delevan asked.
"Yeah."
"To
carry concealed?"
"Yeah."
"This
gun registered?" O'Mearah asked. "It is, isn't it?"
"Well
... I mighta forgot."
"Might
be it's hot, and you forgot that, too."
"Fuck
you. I'm calling my lawyer."
Fat Johnny
started to turn away. Delevan grabbed him.
"Then
there's the question of whether or not you got a permit to conceal a deadly
weapon in a spring-clip device," he said in the same soft, purring voice.
"That's an interesting question, because so far as I know, the City of New
York doesn't issue a permit like that."
The cops
were looking at Fat Johnny; Fat Johnny was glaring back at them. So none of
them noticed Roland turn the sign hanging in the door from OPEN to CLOSED.
"Maybe
we could start to resolve this matter if we could find the gentleman's
wallet," O'Mearah said. Satan himself could not have lied with such genial
persuasiveness. "Maybe he just dropped it, you know."
"I
told you! 1 don't know nothing about the guy's wallet! Guy's out of his
mind!"
Roland
bent down. "There it is," he remarked. "I can just see it. He's
got his foot on it."
This was a
lie, but Delevan, whose hand was still on Fat Johnny's shoulder, shoved the man
back so rapidly that it was impossible to tell if the man's foot had been
there or not.
It had to
be now. Roland glided silently toward the counter as the two gunslingers bent
to peer under the counter. Because they were standing side by side, this
brought their heads close together. O'Mearah still had the gun the clerk had
kept under the counter in his right hand.
"Goddam,
it's there!" Delevan said excitedly. "I see it!"
Roland snapped
a quick glance at the man they had called Fat Johnny, wanting to make sure he
was not going to make a play. But he was only standing against the wall— pushing
against it, actually, as if wishing he could push himself into it—with his
hands hanging at his sides and his eyes great wounded O's. He looked like a man
wondering how come his horoscope hadn't told him to beware this day.
No problem
there.
"Yeah!"
O'Mearah replied gleefully. The two men peered
under the counter, hands on uniformed knees. Now O'Mearah's left his knee and
he reached out to snag the wallet. "I see it, t-"
Roland
took one final step forward. He cupped Delevan's right cheek in one hand,
O'Mearah's left cheek in the other, and all of a sudden a day Fat Johnny Holden
believed had to have hit rock bottom got a lot worse. The spook
in the blue suit brought the cops' heads together hard enough to make a sound
like rocks wrapped in felt colliding with each other.
The cops
fell in a heap. The man in the gold-rimmed specs stood. He was pointing the
.357 Mag at Fat Johnny. The muzzle looked big enough to hold a moon rocket.
"We're
not going to have any trouble, are we?" the spook asked in his dead voice.
"No
sir," Fat Johnny said at once, "not a bit."
"Stand
right there. If your ass loses contact with that wall, you are going to lose
contact with life as you have always known it. You understand?"
"Yes
sir," Fat Johnny said, "I sure do."
"Good."
Roland
pushed the two cops apart. They were both still alive. That was good. No matter
how slow and unobservant they might be, they were gunslingers, men who had
tried to help a stranger in trouble. He had no urge to kill his own.
But he had
done it before, hadn't he? Yes. Had not Alain himself, one of his sworn
brothers, died under Roland's and Cuthbert's own smoking guns?
Without
taking his eyes from the clerk, he felt under the counter with the toe of Jack
Mort's Gucci loafer. He felt the wallet. He kicked it. It came spinning out
from underneath the counter on the clerk's side. Fat Johnny jumped and shrieked
like a goosey girl who spies a mouse. His ass actually did lose contact
with the wall for a moment, but the gunslinger overlooked it. He had no
intention of putting a bullet in this man. He would throw the gun at him and
poleaxe him with it before firing a shot. A gun as absurdly big as this would
probably bring half the neighborhood.
"Pick
it up," the gunslinger said. "Slowly."
Fat Johnny
reached down, and as he grasped the wallet, he farted loudly and screamed. With
faint amusement the gunslinger realized he had mistaken the sound of his own
fart for a gunshot and his time of dying had come.
When Fat
Johnny stood up, he was blushing furiously. There was a large wet patch on the
front of his pants.
"Put
the purse on the counter. Wallet, I mean."
Fat Johnny
did it.
"Now
the shells. Winchester .45s. And I want to see your hands every second."
"I
have to reach into my pocket. For my keys."
Roland
nodded.
As Fat
Johnny first unlocked and then slid open the case with the stacked cartons of
bullets inside, Roland cogitated.
"Give
me four boxes," he said at last. He could not imagine needing so many
shells, but the temptation to have them was not to be denied.
Fat Johnny
put the boxes on the counter. Roland slid one of them open, still hardly able
to believe it wasn't a joke or a sham. But they were bullets, all right, clean,
shining, unmarked, never fired, never reloaded. He held one up to the light
for a moment, then put it back in the box.
"Now
take out a pair of those wristbands."
"Wristbands—?"
The gunslinger
consulted the Mortcypedia. "Handcuffs."
"Mister,
I dunno what you want. The cash register's—"
"Do
what I say. Now."
Christ,
this ain't never gonna to end, Fat
Johnny's mind moaned. He opened another section of the counter and brought out
a pair of cuffs.
"Key?"
Roland asked.
Fat Johnny
put the key to the cuffs on the counter. It made a small click. One of the
unconscious cops made an abrupt snoring sound and Johnny uttered a wee screech.
"Turn
around," the gunslinger said.
"You ain't
gonna shoot me, are you? Say you ain't!"
"Ain't,"
Roland said tonelessly. "As long as you turn around right now. If you
don't do that, I will."
Fat Johnny
turned around, beginning to blubber. Of course the guy said he wasn't going to,
but the smell of mob hit was getting too strong to ignore. He hadn't even been
skimming that much. His blubbers became choked wails.
"Please,
mister, for my mother's sake don't shoot me. My mother's old. She's blind.
She's—"
"She's
cursed with a yellowgut son," the gunslinger said dourly. "Wrists
together."
Mewling,
wet pants sticking to his crotch, Fat Johnny put them together. In a trice the
steel bracelets were locked in place. He had no idea how the spook had gotten
over or around the counter so quickly. Nor did he want to know.
"Stand
there and look at the wall until I tell you it's all right to turn around. If
you turn around before then, I'll kill you."
Hope
lighted Fat Johnny's mind. Maybe the guy didn't mean to hit him after all.
Maybe the guy wasn't crazy, just insane.
"I
won't. Swear to God. Swear before all of His saints. Swear before all His
angels. Swear before all His arch—"
"I swear if you don't shut up I'll put a slug through your
neck," the spook said.
Fat Johnny
shut up. It seemed to him that he stood facing the wall for an eternity. In
truth, it was about twenty seconds.
The
gunslinger knelt, put the clerk's gun on the floor, took a quick look to make
sure the maggot was being good, then rolled the other two onto their backs.
Both were good and out, but not dangerously hurt, Roland judged. They were both
breathing regularly. A little blood trickled from the ear of the one called
Delevan, but that was all.
He took
another quick glance at the clerk, then unbuckled the gunslingers' gunbelts and
stripped them off. Then he took off Mort's blue suitcoat and buckled the belts
on himself. They were the wrong guns, but it still felt good to be packing iron
again. Damned good. Better than he would have believed.
Two guns.
One for Eddie, and one for Odetta . . . when and if Odetta was ready for a gun.
He put on Jack Mort's coat again, dropped two boxes of shells into the right
pocket and two into the left. The coat, formerly impeccable, now bulged out of
shape. He picked up the clerk's .357 Mag and put the shells in his pants
pocket. Then he tossed the gun across the room. When it hit the floor Fat
Johnny jumped, uttered another wee shriek, and squirted a little more warm
water in his pants.
The
gunslinger stood up and told Fat Johnny to turn around.
10
When Fat
Johnny got another look at the geek in the blue suit and the gold-rimmed
glasses, his mouth fell open. For a moment he felt an overwhelming certainty
that the man who had come in here had become a ghost when Fat Johnny's back was
turned. It seemed to Fat Johnny that through the man he could see a figure much
more real, one of those legendary gunfighters they used to make movies and TV
shows about when he was a kid: Wyatt Earp, Doc Holliday, Butch Cassidy, one of
those guys.
Then his
vision cleared and he realized what the crazy nut had done: taken the cops'
guns and strapped them around his waist. With the suit and tie the effect
should have been ludicrous, but somehow it wasn't.
"The
key to the wristbands is on the counter. When the possemen wake up they'll free
you."
He took
the wallet, opened it, and, incredibly, laid four twenty dollar bills on the
glass before stuffing the wallet back into his pocket.
"For
the ammunition," Roland said. "I've taken the bullets from your own gun.
I intend to throw them away when I leave your store. I think that, with an
unloaded gun and no wallet, they may find it difficult to charge you with a
crime."
Fat Johnny
gulped. For one of the few times in his life he was speechless.
"Now
where is the nearest—" Pause."—nearest drugstore?"
Fat Johnny
suddenly understood—or thought he understood—everything. The guy was a
junkball, of course. That was the answer. No wonder he was so weird. Probably
hopped up to the eyeballs.
"There's
one around the corner. Half a block down Forty-Ninth."
"If
you're lying, I'll come back and put a bullet in your brain."
"I'm
not lying!" Fat Johnny cried. "I swear before God the Father! I swear
before all the Saints! I swear on my mother's—"
But then
the door was swinging shut. Fat Johnny stood for a moment in utter silence;
unable to believe the nut was gone.
Then he
walked as rapidly as he could around the counter and to the door. He turned his
back to it and fumbled around until he was able to grasp and turn the lock. He
fumbled some more until he had managed to shoot the bolt as well.
Only then
did he allow himself to slide slowly into a sitting position, gasping and
moaning and swearing to God and all His saints and angels that he would go to
St. Anthony's this very afternoon, as soon as one of those pigs woke up and let
him out of these cuffs, as a matter of fact. He was going to make confession,
do an act of contrition, and take communion.
Fat Johnny
Holden wanted to get right with God.
This had
just been too fucking close.
11
The
setting sun became an arc over the Western Sea. It narrowed to a single bright
line which seared Eddie's eyes. Looking at such a light for long could put a
permanent burn on your retinas. This was just one of the many interesting facts
you learned in school, facts that helped you get a fulfilling job like
part-time bartender and an interesting hobby like the full-time search for
street-skag and the bucks with which to buy it. Eddie didn't stop looking. He
didn't think it was going to matter much longer if he got eye-burned or not.
He didn't
beg the witch-woman behind him. First, it wouldn't help. Second, begging would
degrade him. He had lived a degrading life; he discovered that he had no wish
to degrade himself further in the last few minutes of it. Minutes were all he
had left now. That's all there would be before that bright line disappeared and
the time of the lobstrosities came.
He had
ceased hoping that a miraculous change would bring Odetta back at the last
moment, just as he ceased hoping that Detta would recognize that his death
would almost certainly strand her in this world forever. He had believed until
fifteen minutes ago that she was bluffing; now he knew better.
Well,
it'll be better than strangling an inch at a time, he thought, but after seeing the loathsome lobster-things night
after night, he really didn't believe that was true. He hoped he would be able
to die without screaming. He didn't think this would be possible, but he
intended to try.
"They
be comin fo you, honky!" Detta screeched. "Be comin any minute now! Goan be the best dinner those daddies evah
had!"
It wasn't
just a bluff, Odetta wasn't coming back. . . and the gunslinger wasn't, either.
This last hurt the most, somehow. He had been sure he and the gunslinger had
become— well, partners if not brothers—during their trek up the beach, and
Roland would at least make an effort to stand by him.
But Roland
wasn't coming.
Maybe it
isn't that he doesn't want to come. Maybe he can't
come. Maybe he's dead, killed by a security guard in a drugstore—shit,
that'd be a laugh, the world's last gunslinger killed by a Rent-A-Cop—or maybe
run over by a taxi. Maybe he's dead and the door's gone. Maybe that's why she's
not running a bluff. Maybe there's no bluff to run.
"Goan
be any minute now!" Delta screamed, and then Eddie didn't have to worry
about his retinas anymore, because that last bright slice of light disappeared,
leaving only afterglow.
He stared
at the waves, the bright afterimage slowly fading from his eyes, and waited
for the first of the lobstrosities to come rolling and tumbling out of the
waves.
12
Eddie
tried to turn his head to avoid the first one, but he was too slow. It ripped
off a swatch of his face with one claw, splattering his left eye to jelly and revealing
the bright gleam of bone in the twilight as it asked its questions and the
Really Bad Woman laughed . . .
Stop it, Roland commanded himself. Thinking such thoughts is worse than
helpless; it is a distraction. And it need not be. There may still be time.
And there
still was—then. As Roland strode down Forty-Ninth street in Jack Mort's body,
arms swinging, bullshooter's eyes fixed firmly upon the sign which read DRUGS,
oblivious to the stares he was getting and the way people swerved to avoid him,
the sun was still up in Roland's world. Its lower rim would not touch the place
where sea met sky for another fifteen minutes or so. If Eddie's time of agony
was to come, it was still ahead.
The
gunslinger did not know this for a fact, however; he only knew it was later
over there than here and while the sun should still be up over there,
the assumption that time in this world and his own ran at the same speed might
be a deadly one . . . especially for Eddie, who would die the death of unimaginable
horror that his mind nevertheless kept trying to imagine.
The urge
to look back, to see, was almost insurmountable. Yet he dared not. Must not.
The voice
of Cort interrupted the run of his thoughts sternly: Control the things you
can control, maggot. Let everything else take a flying fuck at you, and if you
must go down, go down with your guns blazing.
Yes.
But it was
hard.
Very hard, sometimes.
He would
have seen and understood why people were staring at him and then veering away if
he had been a little less savagely fixed on finishing his work in this world as
soon as he could and getting the hell out, but it would have changed nothing.
He strode so rapidly toward the blue sign where, according to the Mortcypedia,
he could get the Ke-flex stuff his body needed, that Mort's suitcoat flapped
out behind him in spite of the heavy lead weighting in each pocket. The
gunbelts buckled across his hips were clearly revealed. He wore them not as
their owners had, straight and neat, but as he wore his own, criss-cross,
low-hung on his hips.
To the
shoppers, hoppers, and hawkers on Forty-Ninth, he looked much as he had looked
to Fat Johnny: like a desperado.
Roland
reached Katz's Drug Store and went in.
13
The
gunslinger had known magicians, enchanters, and alchemists in his time. Some
had been clever charlatans, some stupid fakes in whom only people more stupid
than they were themselves could believe (but there had never been a shortage of
fools in the world, so even the stupid fakes survived; in fact most actually
thrived), and a small few actually able to do those black things of which men
whisper—these few could call demons and the dead, could kill with a curse or
heal with strange potions. One of these men had been a creature the gunslinger
believed to be a demon himself, a creature that pretended to be a man and
called itself Flagg. He had seen him only briefly, and that had been near the
end, as chaos and the final crash approached his land. Hot on his heels had
come two young men who looked desperate and yet grim, men named Dennis and
Thomas. These three had crossed only a tiny part of what had been a confused
and confusing time in the gunslinger's life, but he would never forget seeing
Flagg change a man who had irritated him into a howling dog. He remembered that
well enough. Then there had been the man in black.
And there
had been Marten.
Marten who
had seduced his mother while his father was away, Marten who had tried to
author Roland's death but had instead authored his early manhood, Marten who,
he suspected, he might meet again before he reached the Tower . . . or at it.
This is
only to say that his experience of magic and magicians had led him to expect
something quite different than what he did find in Katz's Drug Store.
He had anticipated
a dim, candle-lit room full of bitter fumes, jars of unknown powders and
liquids and philters, many covered with a thick layer of dust or spun about
with a century's cobwebs. He had expected a man in a cowl, a man who might be
dangerous. He saw people moving about inside through the transparent
plate-glass windows, as casually as they would in any shop, and believed they
must be an illusion.
They
weren't.
So for a
moment the gunslinger merely stood inside the door, first amazed, then
ironically amused. Here he was in a world which struck him dumb with fresh
wonders seemingly at every step, a world where carriages flew through the air
and paper seemed as cheap as sand. And the newest wonder was simply that for
these people, wonder had run out: here, in a place of miracles, he saw only
dull faces and plodding bodies.
There were
thousands of bottles, there were potions, there were philters, but the
Mortcypedia identified most as quack remedies. Here was a salve that was
supposed to restore fallen hair but would not; there a cream which promised to
erase unsightly spots on the hands and arms but lied. Here were cures for
things that needed no curing: things to make your bowels run or stop them up,
to make your teeth white and your hair black, things to make your breath smell
better as if you could not do that by chewing alder-bark. No magic here; only
trivialities—although there was astin, and a few other remedies which
sounded as if they might be useful. But for the most part, Roland was appalled
by the place. In a place that promised alchemy but dealt more in perfume than
potion, was it any wonder that wonder had run out?
But when
he consulted the Mortcypedia again, he discovered that the truth of this place
was not just in the things he was looking at. The potions that really worked
were kept safely out of sight. One could only obtain these if you had a
sorcerer's fiat. In this world, such sorcerers were called DOCKTORS, and they
wrote their magic formulae on sheets of paper which the Mortcypedia called
REXES. The gunslinger didn't know the word. He supposed he could have consulted
further on the matter, but didn't bother. He knew what he needed, and a quick
look into the Mortcypedia told him where in the store he could get it.
He strode
down one of the aisles toward a high counter with the words PRESCRIPTIONS
FILLED over it.
14
The Katz
who had opened Katz's Pharmacy and Soda Fountain (Sundries and Notions for
Misses and Misters) on 49th Street in 1927 was long in his grave, and his only
son looked ready for his own. Although he was only forty-six, he looked twenty
years older. He was balding, yellow-skinned, and frail. He knew people said he
looked like death on horseback, but none of them understood why.
Take this
crotch on the phone now. Mrs. Rathbun. Ranting that she would sue him if he
didn't fill her goddamned Valium prescription and right now, RIGHT THIS VERY
INSTANT.
What do
you think, lady, I'm gonna pour a stream of blue bombers through the phone? If he did, she would at least do him a favor and shut up. She
would just tip the receiver up over her mouth and open wide.
The
thought raised a ghostly grin which revealed his sallow dentures.
"You
don't understand, Mrs. Rathbun," he interrupted after he had listened to a
minute—a full minute, timed it with the sweep second-hand of his watch—of her
raving. He would like, just once, to be able to say: Stop shouting at me,
you stupid crotch! Shout at your DOCTOR! He's the one who hooked you on that
shit! Right. Damn quacks gave it out like it was bubblegum, and when they
decided to cut off the supply, who got hit with the shit? The sawbones? Oh, no!
He did!
"What
do you mean, I don't understand?" The voice in his ear was like an angry
wasp buzzing in a jar. "I understand I do a lot of business at your
tacky drugstore, I understand I've been a loyal customer all these
years, I understand—"
"You'll
have to speak to—" He glanced at the crotch's Rolodex card through his
half-glasses again. "—Dr. Brumhall, Mrs. Rathbun. Your prescription has
expired. It's a Federal crime to dispense Valium without a prescription."
And it ought to be one to prescribe it in the first place . . . unless
you're going to give the patient you're prescribing it for your unlisted number
with it, that is, he thought.
"It
was an oversight!" the woman screamed. Now there
was a raw edge of panic in her voice. Eddie would have recognized that tone at
once: it was the call of the wild Junk-Bird.
"Then
call him and ask him to rectify it," Katz said. "He has my
number." Yes. They all had his number. That was precisely the trouble. He
looked like a dying man at forty-six because of the fershlugginer doctors.
And all I
have to do to guarantee that the last thin edge of prof it I am somehow holding
onto in this place will melt away is tell a few of these junkie bitches to go
fuck themselves. That's all.
"I
CAN'T CALL HIM!" she screamed. Her voice
drilled painfully into his ear. "HIM AND HIS FAG BOY-FRIEND ARE ON
VACATION SOMEPLACE AND NO ONE WILL TELL ME WHERE!"
Katz felt acid
seeping into his stomach. He had two ulcers, one healed, the other currently
bleeding, and women like this bitch were the reason why. He closed his eyes.
Thus he did not see his assistant stare at the man in the blue suit and the
gold-rimmed glasses approaching the prescription counter, nor did he see Ralph,
the fat old security guard (Katz paid the man a pittance but still bitterly
resented the expense; his father had never needed a security guard, but
his father, God rot him, had lived in a time when New York had been a
city instead of a toilet-bowl) suddenly come out of his usual dim daze and
reach for the gun on his hip. He heard a woman scream, but thought it was
because she had just discovered all the Revlon was on sale, he'd been forced
to put the Revlon on sale because that putz Dollentz up the street
was undercutting him.
He was
thinking of nothing but Dollentz and this bitch on the phone as the gunslinger
approached like fated doom, thinking of how wonderful the two of them would
look naked save for a coating of honey and staked out over anthills in the
burning desert sun. HIS and HERS anthills, wonderful. He was thinking this was
the worst it could get, the absolute worst. His father had been so determined
that his only son follow in his footsteps that he had refused to pay for
anything but a degree in pharmacology, and so he had followed in his father's
footsteps, and God rot his father, for this was surely the lowest moment in a
life that had been full of low moments, a life which had made him old before
his time.
This was
the absolute nadir.
Or so he
thought with his eyes closed.
"If
you come by, Mrs. Rathbun, I could give you a dozen five milligram Valium.
Would that be all right?"
"The
man sees reason! Thank God, the man sees reason!" And she hung up. Just
like that. Not a word of thanks. But when she saw the walking rectum that
called itself a doctor again, she would just about fall down and polish the
tips of his Gucci loafers with her nose, she would give him a blowjob, she
would—
"Mr.
Katz," his assistant said in a voice that sounded strangely winded.
"I think we have a prob—"
There was
another scream. It was followed by the crash of a gun, startling him so badly
he thought for a moment his heart was simply going to utter one monstrous clap
in his chest and then stop forever.
He opened
his eyes and stared into the eyes of the gunslinger. Katz dropped his gaze and
saw the pistol in the man's fist. He looked left and saw Ralph the guard
nursing one hand and staring at the thief with eyes that seemed to be bugging
out of his face. Ralph's own gun, the .38 which he had toted dutifully through
eighteen years as a police officer (and which he had only fired from the line
of the 23rd Precinct's basement target range; he said he had drawn it
twice in the line of duty . . . but who knew?), was now a wreck in the corner.
"I
want Keflex," the man with the bullshooter eyes said expressionlessly.
"I want a lot. Now. And never mind the REX."
For a
moment Katz could only look at him, his mouth open, his heart struggling in his
chest, his stomach a sickly boiling pot of acid.
Had he
thought he had hit rock bottom?
Had he really?
15
"You
don't understand," Katz managed at last. His voice sounded strange to
himself, and there was really nothing very odd about that, since his
mouth felt like a flannel shirt and his tongue like a strip of cotton batting.
"There is no cocaine here. It is not a drug which is dispensed
under any cir—"
"I
did not say cocaine," the man in the blue suit and the gold-rimmed glasses
said. "I said Keflex."
That's
what I thought you said, Katz almost
told this crazy momser, and then decided that might provoke him. He had
heard of drug stores getting held up for speed, for Bennies, for half a dozen
other things (including Mrs. Rathbun's precious Valium), but he thought this
might be the first penicillin robbery in history.
The voice
of his father (God rot the old bastard) told him to stop dithering and gawping
and do something.
But he
could think of nothing to do.
The man
with the gun supplied him with something.
"Move,"
the man with the gun said. "I'm in a hurry."
"H-How
much do you want?" Katz asked. His eyes flicked momentarily over the
robber's shoulder, and he saw something he could hardly believe. Not in this
city. But it looked like it was happening, anyway. Good luck? Katz actually
has some good luck? That you could put in The Guinness Book of
World Records!
"I
don't know," the man with the gun said. "As much as you can put in a
bag. A big bag." And with no warning at all, he whirled and the gun
in his fist crashed again. A man bellowed. Plate glass blew onto the sidewalk
and the street in a sparkle of shards and splinters. Several passing
pedestrians were cut, but none seriously. Inside Katz's drugstore, women (and
not a few men) screamed. The burglar alarm began its own hoarse bellow. The
customers panicked and stampeded toward and out the door. The man with the gun
turned back to Katz and his expression had not changed at all: his face wore
the same look of frightening (but not inexhaustable) patience that it had worn
from the first. "Do as I say rapidly. I'm in a hurry."
Katz
gulped.
"Yes,
sir," he said.
16
The
gunslinger had seen and admired the curved mirror in the upper left corner of
the shop while he was still halfway to the counter behind which they kept the powerful
potions. The creation of such a curved mirror was beyond the ability of any
craftsman in his own world as things were now, although there had been a time
when such things—and many of the others he saw in Eddie and Odetta's
world—might have been made. He had seen the remains of some in the tunnel under
the mountains, and he had seen them in other places as well. . . relics as
ancient and mysterious as the Druit stones that sometimes stood in the
places where demons came.
He also
understood the mirror's purpose.
He had
been a bit late seeing the guard's move—he was still discovering how
disastrously the lenses Mort wore over his eyes restricted his peripheral
vision—but he'd still time to turn and shoot the gun out of the guard's hand.
It was a shot Roland thought as nothing more than routine, although he'd needed
to hurry a little. The guard, however, had a different opinion. Ralph Lennox
would swear to the end of his days that the guy had made an impossible shot. .
. except, maybe, on those old kiddie Western shows like Annie Oakley.
Thanks to
the mirror, which had obviously been placed where it was to detect thieves,
Roland was quicker dealing with the other one.
He had
seen the alchemist's eyes flick up and over his shoulder for a moment, and the
gunslinger's own eyes had immediately gone to the mirror. In it he saw a man in
a leather jacket moving up the center aisle behind him. There was a long knife
in his hand and, no doubt, visions of glory in his head.
The
gunslinger turned and fired a single shot, dropping the gun to his hip, aware
that he might miss with the first shot because of his unfamiliarity with this
weapon, but unwilling to injure any of the customers standing frozen behind the
would-be hero. Better to have to shoot twice from the hip, firing slugs that
would do the job while travelling on an upward angle that would protect the
bystanders than to perhaps kill some lady whose only crime had been picking
the wrong day to shop for perfume.
The gun
had been well cared for. Its aim was true. Remembering the podgy,
underexercised looks of the gunslingers he had taken these weapons from, it
seemed that they cared better for the weapons they wore than for the weapons
they were. It seemed a strange way to behave, but of course this was a
strange world and Roland could not judge; had no time to judge, come to
that.
The shot
was a good one, chopping through the man's knife at the base of the blade,
leaving him holding nothing but the hilt.
Roland
stared evenly at the man in the leather coat, and something in his gaze must have made the would-be hero remember a
pressing appointment elsewhere, for he whirled, dropped the remains of the
knife, and joined the general exodus.
Roland
turned back and gave the alchemist his orders. Any more fucking around and
blood would flow. When the alchemist turned away, Roland tapped his bony
shoulder blade with the barrel of the pistol. The man made a strangled "Yeeek!"
sound and turned back at once.
"Not
you. You stay here. Let your 'prentice do it."
"W-Who?"
"Him."
The gunslinger gestured impatiently at the aide.
"What
should I do, Mr. Katz?" The remains of the aide's teenage acne stood out
brilliantly on his white face.
"Do
what he says, you putz! Fill the order! Keflex!"
The aide
went to one of the shelves behind the counter and picked up a bottle.
"Turn it so I may see the words writ upon it," the gunslinger said.
The aide
did. Roland couldn't read it; too many letters were not of his alphabet.
He consulted the Mortcypedia. Keflex, it confirmed, and Roland realized
even checking had been a stupid waste of time. He knew he couldn't read
everything in this world, but these men didn't.
"How
many pills in that bottle?"
"Well,
they're capsules, actually," the aide said nervously. "If it's a
cillin drug in pill form you're interested in—"
"Never
mind all that. How many doses?"
"Oh.
Uh—" The flustered aide looked at the bottle and almost dropped it.
"Two hundred."
Roland
felt much as he had when he discovered how much ammunition could be purchased
in this world for a trivial sum. There had been nine sample bottles of Keflex
in the secret compartment of Enrico Balazar's medicine cabinet, thirty-six
doses in all, and he had felt well again. If he couldn't kill the infection
with two hundred doses, it couldn't be killed.
"Give
it to me," the man in the blue suit said.
The aide
handed it over.
The
gunslinger pushed back the sleeve of his jacket, revealing Jack Mort's Rolex.
"I have no money, but this may serve as adequate compensation. I hope so,
anyway."
He turned,
nodded toward the guard, who was still sitting on the floor by his overturned
stool and staring at the gunslinger with wide eyes, and then walked out.
Simple as
that.
For five
seconds there was no sound in the drugstore but the bray of the alarm, which
was loud enough to blank out even the babble of the people on the street.
"God
in heaven, Mr. Katz, what do we do now?" the aide whispered.
Katz
picked up the watch and hefted it.
Gold.
Solid gold.
He
couldn't believe it.
He had to
believe it.
Some
madman walked in off the street, shot a gun out of his guard's hand and a knife
out of another's, all in order to obtain the most unlikely drug he could think
of.
Keflex.
Maybe
sixty dollars' worth of Keflex.
For which
he had paid with a $6500 Rolex watch.
"Do?"
Katz asked. "Do? The first thing you do is put that wristwatch
under the counter. You never saw it." He looked at Ralph. "Neither
did you."
"No
sir," Ralph agreed immediately. "As long as I get my share when you
sell it, I never saw that watch at all."
"They'll
shoot him like a dog in the street," Katz said with unmistakable
satisfaction.
"Keflex!
And the guy didn't even seem to have the sniffles!”
the aide said wonderingly.
CHAPTER 4
THE DRAWING
1
As the
sun's bottom arc first touched the Western Sea in Roland's world, striking
bright golden fire across the water to where Eddie lay trussed like a turkey,
Officers O'Mearah and Delevan were corning groggily back to consciousness in
the world from which Eddie had been taken.
"Let
me out of these cuffs, would ya?" Fat Johnny asked in a humble voice.
"Where
is he?" O'Mearah asked thickly, and groped for his holster. Gone. Holster,
belt, bullets, gun. Gun.
Oh, shit.
He began
thinking of the questions that might be asked by the shits in the Department of
Internal Affairs, guys who had learned all they knew about the streets from
Jack Webb on Dragnet, and the monetary value of his lost gun suddenly
became about as important to him as the population of Ireland or the principal
mineral deposits of Peru. He looked at Carl and saw Carl had also been stripped
of his weapon.
Oh dear
Jesus, bring on the clowns, O'Mearah
thought miserably, and when Fat Johnny asked again if O'Mearah would use the
key on the counter to unlock the handcuffs, O'Mearah said, "I ought to. .
. "He paused, because he'd been about to say I ought to shoot you in
the guts instead, but he couldn't very well shoot Fat Johnny, could he? The
guns here were chained down, and the geek in the gold-rimmed glasses, the geek
who had seemed so much like a solid citizen, had taken his and Carl's as easily
as O'Mearah himself might take a popgun from a kid.
Instead of
finishing, he got the key and unlocked the cuffs. He spotted the .357 Magnum
which Roland had kicked into the corner and picked it up. It wouldn't fit in
his holster, so he stuffed it in his belt.
"Hey,
that's mine!" Fat Johnny bleated.
"Yeah?
You want it back?" O'Mearah had to speak slowly. His head really ached. At
that moment all he wanted to do was find Mr. Gold-Rimmed Specs and nail him to
a handy wall. With dull nails. "I hear they like fat guys like you up in
Attica, Johnny. They got a saying: 'The bigger the cushion, the better the
pushin.' You sure you want it back?"
Fat Johnny
turned away without a word, but not before O'Mearah had seen the tears welling
in his eyes and the wet patch on his pants. He felt no pity.
"Where
is he?" Carl Delevan asked in a furry, buzzing voice.
"He
left," Fat Johnny said dully. "That's all I know. He left. I thought
he was gonna kill me."
Delevan
was getting slowly to his feet. He felt tacky wetness on the side of his face
and looked at his fingers. Blood. Fuck. He groped for his gun and kept groping,
groping and hoping, long after his fingers had assured him his gun and holster
were gone. O'Mearah merely had a headache; Delevan felt as if someone had used
the inside of his head as a nuclear weapons testing site.
"Guy
took my gun," he said to O'Mearah. His voice was so slurry the words were
almost impossible to make out.
"Join
the club."
"He
still here?" Delevan took a step toward O'Mearah, tilted to the left as if
he were on the deck of a ship in a heavy sea, and then managed to right
himself.
"No."
"How
long?" Delevan looked at Fat Johnny, who didn't answer, perhaps because
Fat Johnny, whose back was turned, thought Delevan was still talking to his
partner. Delevan, not a man noted for even temper and restrained behavior under
the best of circumstances, roared at the man, even though it made his head feel
like it was going to crack into a thousand pieces: "I asked you a question, you fat shit! How long has that
motherfucker been gone?"
"Five
minutes, maybe," Fat Johnny said dully. "Took his shells and your
guns." He paused. "Paid for the shells. I couldn't believe it."
Five
minutes, Delevan thought. The guy had come in
a cab. Sitting in their cruiser and drinking coffee, they had seen him get out
of it. It was getting close to rush-hour. Cabs were hard to get at this time of
day. Maybe—
"Come
on," he said to George O'Mearah. "We still got a chance to collar
him. We'll want a gun from this slut here—"
O'Mearah
displayed the Magnum. At first Delevan saw two of them, then the image slowly
came together.
"Good.''
Delevan was coming around, not all at once but getting there, like a
prizefighter who has taken a damned hard one on the chin. "You keep it.
I'll use the shotgun under the dash." He started for the door, and this
time he did more than reel; he staggered and had to claw the wall to keep his
feet.
"You
gonna be all right?" O'Mearah asked.
"If
we catch him," Delevan said.
They left.
Fat Johnny was not as glad about their departure as he had been about that of
the spook in the blue suit, but almost. Almost.
2
Delevan
and O'Mearah didn't even have to discuss which direction the perp might have
taken when he left the gun-shop. All they had to do was listen to the radio
dispatcher.
"Code
19," she said over and over again. Robbery in progress, shots fired. "Code
19, Code 19. Location is 395 West 49th, Katz's Drugs, perpetrator tall,
sandy-haired, blue suit—"
Shots
fired, Delevan thought, his head aching
worse than ever. I wonder if they were fired with George's gun or mine? Or
both? If that shitbag killed someone, we're fucked. Unless we get him.
"Blast
off," he said curtly to O'Mearah, who didn't need to be told twice. He
understood the situation as well as Delevan did. He flipped on the lights and
the siren and screamed out into traffic. It was knotting up already, rush-hour
starting, and so O'Mearah ran the cruiser with two wheels in the gutter and two
on the sidewalk, scattering pedestrians like quail. He clipped the rear fender
of a produce truck sliding onto Forty-Ninth. Ahead he could see twinkling glass
on the sidewalk. They could both hear the strident bray of the alarm. Pedestrians
were sheltering in doorways and behind piles of garbage, but residents of the
overhead apartments were staring out eagerly, as if this was a particularly
good TV show, or a movie you didn't have to pay to see.
The block
was devoid of automobile traffic; cabs and commuters alike had scatted.
"I
just hope he's still there," Delevan said, and used a key to unlock the
short steel bars across the stock and barrel of the pump shotgun under the
dashboard. He pulled it out of its clips. "I just hope that rotten-crotch
son of a bitch is still, there."
What
neither understood was that, when you were dealing with the gunslinger, it was
usually better to leave bad enough alone.
3
When Roland
stepped out of Katz's Drugs, the big bottle of Keflex had joined the cartons of
ammo in Jack Mort's coat pockets. He had Carl Delevan's service .38 in his
right hand. It felt so damned good to hold a gun in a whole right hand.
He heard
the siren and saw the car roaring down the street. Them, he thought. He
began to raise the gun and then remembered: they were gunslingers. Gunslingers
doing their duty. He turned and went back into the alchemist's shop.
"Hold
it, motherfucker!" Delevan screamed. Roland's eyes
flew to the convex mirror in time to see one of the gunslingers—the one whose
ear had bled—leaning out of the window with a scatter-rifle. As his partner
pulled their carriage to a screaming halt that made its rubber wheels smoke on
the pavement he jacked a shell into its chamber.
Roland hit
the floor.
4
Katz
didn't need any mirror to see what was about to happen. First the crazy man,
now the crazy cops. Oy vay.
"Drop!"
he screamed to his assistant and to Ralph, the
security guard, and then fell to his knees behind the counter without waiting
to see if they were doing the same or not.
Then, a
split-second before Delevan triggered the shotgun, his assistant dropped on
top of him like an eager tackle sacking the quarterback in a football game, driving
Katz's head against the floor and breaking his jaw in two places.
Through
the sudden pain which went roaring through his head, he heard the shotgun's
blast, heard the remaining glass in the windows shatter—along with bottles of
aftershave, cologne, perfume, mouthwash, cough syrup, God knew what else. A
thousand conflicting smells rose, creating one hell-stench, and before he
passed out, Katz again called upon God to rot his father for chaining this
curse of a drug store to his ankle in the first place.
5
Roland saw
bottles and boxes fly back in a hurricane of shot. A glass case containing
time-pieces disintegrated. Most of the watches inside also disintegrated. The
pieces flew backwards in a sparkling cloud.
They can't
know if there are still innocent people in here or not, he thought. They can't know and yet they used a scatter-rifle
just the same!
It was
unforgivable. He felt anger and suppressed it. They were gunslingers. Better to
believe their brains had been addled by the head-knocking they'd taken than to
believe they'd done such a thing knowingly, without a care for whom they might
hurt or kill.
They would
expect him to either run or shoot.
Instead,
he crept forward, keeping low. He lacerated both hands and knees on shards of broken
glass. The pain brought Jack Mort back to consciousness. He was glad Mort was
back.
He would
need him. As for Mort's hands and knees, he didn't care. He could stand the
pain easily, and the wounds were being inflicted on the body of a monster who
deserved no better.
He reached
the area just under what remained of the plate-glass window. He was to the
right of the door. He crouched there, body coiled. He bolstered the gun which
had been in his right hand.
He would
not need it.
6
"What
are you doing, Carl?" O'Mearah screamed. In his
head he suddenly saw a Daily News headline: COP KILLS 4 IN WEST SIDE
DRUG STORE SNAFU.
Delevan
ignored him and pumped a fresh shell into the shotgun. "Let's go get this
shit."
7
It
happened exactly as the gunslinger had hoped it would.
Furious at
being effortlessly fooled and disarmed by a man who probably looked to them no
more dangerous than any of the other lambs on the streets of this seemingly
endless city, still groggy from the head-knocking, they rushed in with the
idiot who had fired the scatter-rifle in the lead. They ran slightly bent-over,
like soldiers charging an enemy position, but that was the only concession they
made to the idea that their adversary might still be inside. In their minds, he
was already out the back and fleeing down an alley.
So they
came crunching over the sidewalk glass, and when the gunslinger with the
scatter-rifle pulled open the glassless door and charged in, the gunslinger
rose, his hands laced together in a single fist, and brought it down on the
nape of Officer Carl Delevan's neck.
While
testifying before the investigating committee, Delevan would claim he
remembered nothing at all after kneeling down in Clements' and seeing the
perp's wallet under the counter. The committee members thought such amnesia
was, under the circumstances, pretty damned convenient, and Delevan was lucky
to get off with a sixty-day suspension without pay. Roland, however, would
have believed, and, under different circumstances (if the fool hadn't
discharged a scatter-rifle into a store which might have been full of innocent
people, for instance), even sympathized. When you got your skull busted twice
in half an hour, a few scrambled brains were to be expected.
As Delevan
went down, suddenly as boneless as a sack of oats, Roland took the
scatter-rifle from his relaxing hands.
"Hold
it!" O'Mearah screamed, his voice a
mixture of anger and dismay. He was starting to raise Fat Johnny's Magnum, but
it was as Roland had suspected: the gunslingers of this world were pitifully
slow. He could have shot O'Mearah three times, but there was no need. He simply
swung the scatter-gun in a strong, climbing arc. There was a flat smack as the
stock connected with O'Mearah's left cheek, the sound of a baseball bat
connecting with a real steamer of a pitch. All at once O'Mearah's entire face
from the cheek on down moved two inches to the right. It would take three
operations and four steel pegs to put him together again. He stood there for a
moment, unbelieving, and then his eyes rolled up the whites. His knees unhinged
and he collapsed.
Roland
stood in the doorway, oblivious to the approaching sirens. He broke the
scatter-rifle, then worked the pump action, ejecting all the fat red cartridges
onto Delevan's body. That done, he dropped the gun itself onto Delevan.
"You're
a dangerous fool who should be sent west," he told the unconscious man.
"You have forgotten the face of your father."
He stepped
over the body and walked to the gunslingers' carriage, which was still idling. He
climbed in the door on the far side and slid behind the driving wheel.
8
Can you
drive this carriage? he asked the screaming,
gibbering thing that was Jack Mort.
He got no
coherent answer; Mort just went on screaming. The gunslinger recognized this as
hysteria, but one which was not entirely genuine. Jack Mort was having
hysterics on purpose, as a way of avoiding any conversation with this weird
kidnapper.
Listen, the gunslinger told him. I only have time to say
this—and everything else—once. My time has grown very short. If you don't
answer my question, I am going to put your right thumb into your right eye.
I'll jam it in as far as it will go, and then I'll pull your eyeball right out
of your head and wipe it on the seat of this carriage like a booger. I can get
along with one eye just fine. And, after all, it isn't as if it were mine.
He could
no more have lied to Mort than Mort could have lied to him; the nature of their
relationship was cold and reluctant on both their parts, yet it was much more intimate
than the most passionate act of sexual intercourse would have been. This was,
after all, not a joining of bodies but the ultimate meeting of minds.
He meant
exactly what he said.
And Mort
knew it.
The
hysterics stopped abruptly. I can drive it, Mort said. It was the
first sensible communication Roland had gotten from Mort since he had arrived
inside the man's head.
Then do
it.
Where do
you want me to go?
Do you
know a place called "The Village"?
Yes.
Go there.
Where in
the Village?
For now,
just drive.
We'll be
able to go faster if I use the siren.
Fine. Turn
it on. Those flashing lights, too.
For the
first time since he had seized control of him, Roland pulled back a little and allowed
Mort to take over. When Mort's head turned to inspect the dashboard of
Delevan’s and O'Mearah's blue-and-white, Roland watched it turn but did not
initiate the action. But if he had been a physical being instead of only his
own disembodied ka, he would have been standing on the balls of his
feet, ready to leap forward and take control again at the slightest sign of
mutiny.
There was
none, though. This man had killed and maimed God knew how many innocent people,
but he had no intention of losing one of his own precious eyes. He flicked
switches, pulled a lever, and suddenly they were in motion. The siren whined
and the gunslinger saw red pulses of light kicking off the front of the
carriage.
Drive
fast, the gunslinger commanded grimly.
9
In spite
of lights and siren and Jack Mort beating steadily on the horn, it took them
twenty minutes to reach Greenwich Village in rush-hour traffic. In the
gunslinger's world Eddie Dean's hopes were crumbling like dykes in a downpour.
Soon they would collapse altogether.
The sea
had eaten half the sun.
Well, Jack Mort said, we're here. He was telling the truth (there
was no way he could lie) although to Roland everything here looked just as it had
everywhere else: a choke of buildings, people, and carriages. The carriages
choked not only the streets but the air itself—with their endless clamor and
their noxious fumes. It came, he supposed, from whatever fuel it was they
burned. It was a wonder these people could live at all, or the women give birth
to children that were not monsters, like the Slow Mutants under the mountains.
Now where
do we go? Mort was asking.
This would
be the hard part. The gunslinger got ready— as ready as he could, at any rate.
Turn off
the siren and the lights. Stop by the sidewalk.
Mort
pulled the cruiser up beside a fire hydrant.
There are
underground railways in this city, the gunslinger
said. I want you to take me to a station where these trains stop to
let passengers on and off.
Which one?
Mort asked. The thought was tinged with the
mental color of panic. Mort could hide nothing from Roland, and Roland nothing
from Mort—not, at least, for very long.
Some years
ago—I don't know how many—you pushed a young woman in front of a train in one
of those underground stations. That's the one I want you to take me to.
There
ensued a short, violent struggle. The gunslinger won, but it was a surprisingly
hard go. In his way, Jack Mort was as divided as Odetta. He was not a schizophrenic
as she was; he knew well enough what he did from time to time. But he kept his
secret self—the part of him that was The Pusher— as carefully locked away as an
embezzler might lock away his secret skim.
Take me
there, you bastard, the gunslinger repeated. He
slowly raised the thumb toward Mort's right eye again. It was less than half an
inch away and still moving when he gave in.
Mort's
right hand moved the lever by the wheel again and they rolled toward the
Christopher Street station where that fabled A-train had cut off the legs of a
woman named Odetta Holmes some three years before.
10
"Well
looky there," foot patrolman Andrew Staunton said to his partner,
Norris Weaver, as Delevan's and O’Mearah’s blue-and-white came to a stop
halfway down the block. There were no parking spaces, and the driver made no
effort to find one. He simply double-parked and let the clog of traffic behind
him inch its laborious way through the loophole remaining, like a trickle of
blood trying to serve a heart hopelessly clogged with cholesterol.
Weaver
checked the numbers on the side by the right front headlight. 744. Yes, that
was the number they'd gotten from dispatch, all right.
The
flashers were on and everything looked kosher— until the door opened and the
driver stepped out. He was wearing a blue suit, all right, but not the kind
that came with gold buttons and a silver badge. His shoes weren't police issue
either, unless Staunton and Weaver had missed a memo notifying officers that
duty footwear would henceforth come from Gucci. That didn't seem likely. What
seemed likely was that this was the creep who had hijacked the cops uptown. He
got out oblivious to the honkings and cries of protest from the drivers trying
to get by him.
"Goddam,"
Andy Staunton breathed.
Approach
with extreme caution, the dispatcher had said. This
man is armed and extremely dangerous. Dispatchers usually sounded
like the most bored human beings on earth— for all Andy Staunton knew, they
were—and so the almost awed emphasis this one put on the word extremely had
stuck to his consciousness like a burr.
He drew
his weapon for the first time in his four years on the force, and glanced at
Weaver. Weaver had also drawn. The two of them were standing outside a deli
about thirty feet from the IRT stairway. They had known each other long enough
to be attuned to each other in a way only cops and professional soldiers can
be. Without a word between them they stepped back into the doorway of the
delicatessen, weapons pointing upward.
"Subway?"
Weaver asked.
"Yeah."
Andy took one quick glance at the entrance. Rush hour was in high gear now, and
the subway stairs were clogged with people heading for their trains.
"We've got to take him right now, before he can get close to the
crowd."
"Let's
do it."
They
stepped out of the doorway in perfect tandem, gun-slingers Roland would have
recognized at once as adversaries much more dangerous than the first two. They
were younger, for one thing; and although he didn't know it, some unknown
dispatcher had labeled him extremely dangerous, and to Andy Staunton and
Norris Weaver, that made him the equivalent of a rogue tiger. If he
doesn't stop the second I tell him to, he's dead, Andy thought.
"Hold
it!" he screamed, dropping into a crouch
with his gun held out before him in both hands. Beside him, Weaver had done the
same. "Police! Get your hands on your he—"
That was
as far as he got before the guy ran for the IRT stairway. He moved with a
sudden speed that was uncanny. Nevertheless, Andy Staunton was wired, all his
dials turned up to the max. He swivelled on his heels, feeling a cloak of
emotionless coldness drop over him—Roland would have known this, too. He had
felt it many times in similar situations.
Andy led
the running figure slightly, then squeezed the trigger of his .38. He saw the
man in the blue suit spin around, trying to keep his feet. Then he fell to the
pavement, as commuters who, only seconds ago, had been concentrating on
nothing but surviving another trip home on the subway, screamed and scattered
like quail. They had discovered there was more to survive than the uptown train
this afternoon.
"Holy
fuck, partner," Norris Wheaton breathed, "you blew him away."
"I
know," Andy said. His voice didn't falter. The gunslinger would have
admired it. "Let's go see who he was."
11
I'm dead! Jack Mort was screaming. I'm dead, you've gotten me killed, I'm
dead, I'm—
No, the gunslinger responded. Through slitted eyes he saw the cops
approaching, guns still out. Younger and faster than the ones who had been
parked near the gun-shop. Faster. And at least one of them was a hell of a
shot. Mort—and Roland along with him—should have been dead, dying, or
seriously wounded. Andy Staunton had shot to kill, and his bullet had drilled
through the left lapel of Mort's suit-coat. It had likewise punched through the
pocket of Mort's Arrow shirt—but that was as far as it went. The life of both
men, the one inside and the one outside, were saved by Mort's lighter.
Mort
didn't smoke, but his boss—whose job Mort had confidently expected to have
himself by this time next year— did. Accordingly, Mort had bought a two hundred
dollar silver lighter at Dunhill's. He did not light every cigarette Mr.
Framingham stuck in his gob when the two of them were together— that would have
made him look too much like an ass-kisser. Just once in awhile . . . and
usually when someone even higher up was present, someone who could appreciate
a.) Jack Mort's quiet courtesy, and b.) Jack Mort's good taste.
Do-Bees
covered all the bases.
This time
covering the bases saved his life and Roland's. Staunton's bullet smashed the
silver lighter instead of Mort's heart (which was generic; Mort's passion for
brand names— good brand names—stopped mercifully at the skin).
He was
hurt just the same, of course. When you were hit by a heavy-caliber slug, there
was no such thing as a free ride. The lighter was driven against his chest hard
enough to create a hollow. It flattened and then smashed apart, digging shallow
grooves in Mort's skin; one sliver of shrapnel sliced Mort's left nipple almost
in two. The hot slug also ignited the lighter's fluid-soaked batting.
Nevertheless, the gunslinger lay still as they approached. The one who had not
shot him was telling people to stay back, just stay back, goddammit.
I'm on
fire! Mort shrieked. I'm on fire, put
it out! Put it out! PUT IT OWWWWWW—
The
gunslinger lay still, listening to the grit of the gun-slingers' shoes on the
pavement, ignoring Mort's shrieks, trying to ignore the coal suddenly
glowing against his chest and the smell of frying flesh.
A foot
slid beneath his ribcage, and when it lifted, the gunslinger allowed himself to
roll bonelessly onto his back. Jack Mort's eyes were open. His face was slack.
In spite of the shattered, burning remains of the lighter, there was no sign of
the man screaming inside.
"God,"
someone muttered, "did you shoot him with a tracer, man?"
Smoke was
rising from the hole in the lapel of Mort's coat in a neat little stream. It
was escaping around the edge of the lapel in more untidy blotches. The cops
could smell burning flesh as the wadding in the smashed lighter, soaked with
Ronson lighter fluid, really began to blaze.
Andy
Staunton, who had performed faultlessly thus far, now made his only mistake, one
for which Cort would have sent him home with a fat ear in spite of his earlier
admirable performance, telling him one mistake was all it took, took to get a
man killed most of the time. Staunton had been able to shoot the guy—a thing no
cop really knows if he can do until he's faced with a situation where he must
find out—but the idea that his bullet had somehow set the guy on fire filled
him with unreasoning horror. So he bent forward to put it out without thinking,
and the gunslinger's feet smashed into his belly before he had time to do more
than register the blaze of awareness in eyes he would have sworn were dead.
Staunton
went flailing back into his partner. His pistol flew
from his hand. Wheaton held onto his own, but by the time he had gotten clear
of Staunton, he heard a shot and his gun was magically gone. The hand it had
been in felt numb, as if it had been struck with a very large hammer.
The guy in
the blue suit got up, looked at them for a moment and said, "You're good.
Better than the others. So let me advise you. Don't follow. This is almost
over. I don't want to have to kill you."
Then he
whirled and ran for the subway stairs.
12
The stairs
were choked with people who had reversed their downward course when the yelling
and shooting started, obsessed with that morbid and somehow unique New Yorkers'
curiosity to see how bad, how many, how much blood spilled on the dirty
concrete. Yet somehow they still found a way to shrink back from the man in the
blue suit who came plunging down the stairs. It wasn't much wonder. He was
holding a gun, and another was strapped around his waist.
Also, he
appeared to be on fire.
13
Roland
ignored Mort's increasing shrieks of pain as his shirt, undershirt, and jacket began
to burn more briskly, as the silver of the lighter began to melt and run down
his midsection to his belly in burning tracks.
He could
smell dirty moving air, could hear the roar of an oncoming train.
This was
almost the time; the moment had almost come around, the moment when he would
draw the three or lose it all. For the second time he seemed to feel worlds
tremble and reel about his head.
He reached
the platform level and tossed the .38 aside. He unbuckled Jack Mort's pants and
pushed them casually down, revealing a pair of white underdrawers like a
whore's panties. He had no time to reflect on this oddity. If he did not move
fast, he could stop worrying about burning alive; the bullets he had purchased
would get hot enough to go off and this body would simply explode.
The
gunslinger stuffed the boxes of bullets into the underdrawers, took out the
bottle of Keflex, and did the same with it. Now the underdrawers bulged
grotesquely. He stripped off the flaming suit-jacket, but made no effort to
take off the flaming shirt.
He could
hear the train roaring toward the platform, could see its light. He had no way
of knowing it was a train which kept the same route as the one which had run
over Odetta, but all the same he did know. In matters of the Tower, fate
became a thing as merciful as the lighter which had saved his life and as
painful as the fire the miracle had ignited. Like the wheels of the oncoming
train, it followed a course both logical and crushingly brutal, a course
against which only steel and sweetness could stand.
He picked
up Mort's pants and began to run again, barely aware of the people scattering
out of his way. As more air fed the fire, first his shirt collar and then his
hair began to burn. The heavy boxes in Mort's underdrawers slammed against his
balls again and again, mashing them; excruciating pain rose into his gut. He
jumped the turnstile, a man who was becoming a meteor. Put me out! Mort
screamed. Put me out before I burn up!
You ought
to burn, the gunslinger thought grimly. What's
going to happen to you is more merciful than you deserve.
What do
you mean? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
The
gunslinger didn't answer; in fact turned him off entirely as he pelted toward
the edge of the platform. He felt one of the boxes of shells trying to slip out
of Mort's ridiculous panties and held it with one hand.
He sent
out every bit of his mental force toward the Lady. He had no idea if such a
telepathic command could be heard, or if the hearer could be compelled to obey,
but he sent it just the same, a swift, sharp arrow of thought:
THE DOOR!
LOOK THROUGH THE DOOR! NOW! NOW!
Train-thunder
filled the world. A woman screamed "Oh my God he's going to jump!"
A hand slapped at his shoulder, trying to pull him back. Then Roland pushed
the body of Jack Mort past the yellow warning line and dove over the edge of
the platform. He fell into the path of the oncoming train with his hands
cupping his crotch, holding the luggage he would bring back ... if, that was,
he was fast enough to get out of Mort at just the right instant. As he fell he
called her— them—again:
ODETTA
HOLMES! DETTA WALKER! LOOK NOW!
As he
called, as the train bore down upon him, its wheels turning with merciless
silver speed, the gunslinger finally turned his head and looked back through
the door.
And
directly into her face.
Faces!
Both of
them, I see both of them at the same time—
NOO—! Mort shrieked, and in the last split second before the train ran
him down, cutting him in two not above the knees but at the waist, Roland
lunged at the door . . . and through it.
Jack Mort
died alone.
The boxes
of ammunition and the bottle of pills appeared beside Roland's physical body.
His hands clenched spasmodically at them, then relaxed. The gunslinger forced
himself up, aware that he was wearing his sick, throbbing body again, aware
that Eddie Dean was screaming, aware that Odetta was shrieking in two voices.
He looked—only for a moment—and saw exactly what he had heard: not one woman
but two. Both were legless, both dark-skinned, both women of great beauty.
Nonetheless, one of them was a hag, her interior ugliness not hidden by her
outer beauty but enhanced by it.
Roland
stared at these twins who were not really twins at all but negative and
positive images of the same woman. He stared with a feverish, hypnotic
intensity.
Then Eddie
screamed again and the gunslinger saw the lobstrosities tumbling out of the
waves and strutting toward the place where Detta had left him, trussed and
helpless.
The sun
was down. Darkness had come.
14
Detta saw
herself in the doorway, saw herself through her eyes, saw herself through the gunslinger's
eyes, and her sense of dislocation was as sudden as Eddie's, but much more
violent.
She was
here.
She was there,
in the gunslinger's eyes.
She heard
the oncoming train.
Odetta! she screamed, suddenly understanding everything: what she was and
when it had happened.
Delta! she screamed, suddenly understanding everything: what she was and
who had done it.
A brief
sensation of being turned inside out. . . and then a much more agonizing one.
She was
being torn apart.
15
Roland
shambled down the short slope to the place where Eddie lay. He moved like a man
who has lost his bones. One of the lobster-things clawed at Eddie's face. Eddie
screamed. The gunslinger booted it away. He bent rustily and grabbed Eddie's
arms. He began to drag him backwards, but it was too late, his strength was too
little, they were going to get Eddie, hell, both of them—
Eddie
screamed again as one of the lobstrosities asked him did-a-chick? and
then tore a swatch of his pants and a chunk of meat to go along with it. Eddie
tried another scream, but nothing came out but a choked gargle. He was
strangling in Delta's knots.
The things
were all around them, closing in, claws clicking eagerly. The gunslinger threw
the last of his strength into a final yank . . . and tumbled backwards. He
heard them coming, them with their hellish questions and clicking claws. Maybe
it wasn't so bad, he thought. He had staked everything, and that was all he had
lost.
The
thunder of his own guns filled him with stupid wonder.
16
The two
women lay face to face, bodies raised like snakes about to strike, fingers with
identical prints locked around throats marked with identical
lines.
The woman was
trying to kill her but the woman was not real, no more than the girl had been
real; she was a dream created by a falling brick . . . but now the dream was
real, the dream was clawing her throat and trying to kill her as the gunslinger
tried to save his friend. The dream-made-real was screeching obscenities and
raining hot spittle into her face. "I took the blue plate because that
woman landed me in the hospital and besides I didn't
get no forspecial plate an I bust it cause it needed bustin an
when I saw a white boy I could bust why I bust him too I hurt the white boys
because they needed hurtin I stole from the stores that only sell things that
are forspecial to whitefolks while the brothers and sisters go hungry in
Harlem and the rats eat their babies, I'm the one, you bitch, I'm the one, I...
I... I!
Kill her, Odetta thought, and knew she could not.
She could
no more kill the hag and survive than the hag could kill her and walk
away. They could choke each other to death while Eddie and the
(Roland)/(Really
Bad Man)
one who
had called them were eaten alive down there by the edge of the water. That
would finish all of them. Or she could
(love)/(hate)
let go.
Odetta let
go of Delta's throat, ignored the fierce hands throttling her, crushing her
windpipe. Instead of using her own hands to choke, she used them to embrace the
other.
“No,
you bitch!" Delta screamed, but that scream was infinitely complex,
both hateful and grateful. “No, you leave me lone, you jes leave
me—"
Odetta had
no voice with which to reply. As Roland kicked the first attacking lobstrosity
away and as the second moved in lo lunch on a chunk of Eddie's arm, she could
only whisper in the witch-woman's ear: "I love you."
For a
moment the hands tightened into a killing noose . . . and then loosened.
Were gone.
She was
being turned inside out again . . . and then, suddenly,
blessedly, she was whole. For the first time since a man named Jack Mort
had dropped a brick on the head of a child who was only there to be hit because
a white taxi driver had taken one look and driven away (and had not her father,
in his pride, refused to try again for fear of a second refusal), she was whole.
She was Odetta Holmes, but the other—?
Hurry up,
bitch! Detta yelled. . . but it was still
her own voice; she and Detta had merged. She had been one; she had been two;
now the gunslinger had drawn a third from her. Hurry up or they gonna be
dinner!
She looked
at the shells. There was no time to use them; by the time she had his guns
reloaded it would be over. She could only hope.
But is
there anything else? she asked herself, and drew.
And
suddenly her brown hands were full of thunder.
17
Eddie saw
one of the lobstrosities loom over his face, its rugose eyes dead yet hideously
sparkling with hideous life. Its claws descended toward his face.
Dod-a—, it began, and then it was smashed backward in chunks and
splatters.
Roland saw
one skitter toward his flailing left hand and thought There goes the other
hand . . . and then the lobstrosity was a splatter of shell and green guts
flying into the dark air.
He twisted
around and saw a woman whose beauty was heart stopping, whose fury was
heart-freezing. "COME ON, MAHFAHS!" she screamed. "YOU
JUST COME ON! YOU JUST COME FOR EM! I'M GONNA BLOW YO EYES RIGHT BACK THROUGH
YO FUCKIN ASSHOLES!"
She
blasted a third one that was crawling rapidly between Eddie's spraddled legs,
meaning to eat on him and neuter him at the same time. It flew like a
tiddly-wink.
Roland had
suspected they had some rudimentary intelligence; now he saw the proof.
The others
were retreating.
The hammer
of one revolver fell on a dud, and then she blew one of the retreating monsters
into gobbets.
The others
ran back toward the water even faster. It seemed they had lost their appetite.
Meanwhile,
Eddie was strangling.
Roland
fumbled at the rope digging a deep furrow into his neck. He could see Eddie's
face melting slowly from purple to black. Eddie's strugglings were weakening.
Then his
hands were pushed away by stronger ones.
"I'll
take care of it. "There was a knife in her hand. . . his knife.
Take care
of what? he thought as his
consciousness faded. What is it you'll take care of, now that we're both at
your mercy?
"Who
are you?" he husked, as darkness deeper than night began to take him down.
''I am
three women,'' he heard her say, and it was as if she were speaking to him from
the top of a deep well into which he was falling. "I who was; I who had no
right to be but was; I am the woman who you have saved.
"I
thank you, gunslinger."
She kissed
him, he knew that, but for a long time after, Roland knew only darkness.
final shuffle
1
For the
first time in what seemed like a thousand years, the gunslinger was not thinking
about the Dark Tower. He thought only about the deer which had come down to the
pool in the woodland clearing.
He sighted
over the fallen log with his left hand.
Meat, he thought, and fired as saliva squirted warmly into his mouth.
Missed, he thought in the millisecond following the shot. It's gone.
All my skill. . . gone.
The deer
fell dead at the edge of the pool.
Soon the
Tower would fill him again, but now he only blessed what gods there were that
his aim was still true, and thought of meat, and meat, and meat. He
re-holstered the gun—the only one he wore now—and climbed over the log behind
which he had patiently lain as late afternoon drew down to dusk, waiting for
something big enough to eat to come to the pool.
I am getting well, he thought with some amazement as he drew
his knife. I am really getting well.
He didn't
see the woman standing behind him, watching with assessing brown eyes.
2
They had
eaten nothing but lobster-meat and had drunk nothing but brackish stream water
for six days following the confrontation at the end of
the beach. Roland remembered very little of that time; he had been raving,
delirious. He sometimes called Eddie Alain, sometimes Cuthbert, and always he
called the woman Susan.
His fever
had abated little by little, and they began the laborious trek into the hills.
Eddie pushed the woman in the chair some of the time, and sometimes Roland rode
in it while Eddie carried her piggyback, her arms locked loosely around his
neck. Most of the time the way made it impossible for either to ride, and that
made the going slow. Roland knew how exhausted Eddie was. The woman knew, too,
but Eddie never complained.
They had
food; during the days when Roland lay between life and death, smoking with
fever, reeling and railing of times long past and people long dead, Eddie and
the woman killed again and again and again. Bye and bye the lobstrosities began
staying away from their part of the beach, but by then they had plenty of meat,
and when they at last got into an area where weeds and slutgrass grew, all
three of them ate compulsively of it. They were starved for greens, any greens.
And, little by little, the sores on their skins began to fade. Some of the
grass was bitter, some sweet, but they ate no matter what the taste. . . except
once.
The
gunslinger had wakened from a tired doze and seen the woman yanking at a
handful of grass he recognized all too well.
"No!
Not that!" he croaked. "Never that! Mark it, and remember it! Never
that!"
She looked
at him for a long moment and put it aside without asking for an explanation.
The
gunslinger lay back, cold with the closeness of it. Some of the other grasses
might kill them, but what the woman had pulled would damn her. It had been
devil-weed.
The Keflex
had brought on explosions in his bowels, and he knew Eddie had been worried
about that, but eating the grasses had controlled it.
Eventually
they had reached real woods, and the sound of the Western Sea diminished to a
dull drone they heard only when the wind was right.
And now .
. . meat.
3
The
gunslinger reached the deer and tried to gut it with the knife held between the
third and fourth fingers of his right hand. No good. His fingers weren't strong
enough. He switched the knife to his stupid hand, and managed a clumsy cut from
the deer's groin to its chest. The knife let out the steaming blood before it
could congeal in the meat and spoil it . . . but it was still a bad cut. A
puking child could have done better.
You are
going to learn to be smart, he told
his left hand, and prepared to cut again, deeper.
Two brown
hands closed over his one and took the knife.
Roland
looked around.
"I'll
do it," Susannah said.
"Have
you ever?"
"No,
but you'll tell me how."
"All
right."
"Meat,"
she said, and smiled at him.
"Yes,"
he said, and smiled back. "Meat."
"What's
happening?" Eddie called. "I heard a shot."
"Thanksgiving
in the making!" she called back. "Come help!"
Later they
ate like two kings and a queen, and as the gunslinger drowsed toward sleep,
looking up at the stars, feeling the clean coolness in this upland air, he
thought that this was the closest he had come to contentment in too many years
to count.
He slept.
And dreamed.
4
It was the
Tower. The Dark Tower.
It stood
on the horizon of a vast plain the color of blood in the violent setting of a
dying sun. He couldn't see the stairs which spiraled up and up and up within
its brick shell, but he could see the windows which spiraled up along that
staircase's way, and saw the ghosts of all the people he had ever known pass
through them. Up and up they marched, and an arid wind brought him the sound of
voices calling his name.
Roland . .
. come . . . Roland . . . come . . . come . .
, come ...
"I
come," he whispered, and awoke sitting bolt upright, sweating and
shivering as if the fever still held his flesh.
"Roland?"
Eddie.
"Yes."
"Bad
dream?"
"Bad.
Good. Dark."
"The
Tower?"
"Yes."
They
looked toward Susannah, but she slept on, undisturbed. Once there had been a
woman named Odetta Susannah Holmes; later, there had been another named Delta
Susannah Walker. Now there was a third: Susannah Dean.
Roland
loved her because she would fight and never give in; he feared for her because
he knew he would sacrifice her— Eddie as well—without a question or a look
back.
For the
Tower.
The
God-Damned Tower.
"Time
for a pill," Eddie said.
"I
don't want them anymore."
"Take
it and shut up."
Roland
swallowed it with cold stream-water from one of the skins, then burped. He
didn't mind. It was a meaty burp.
Eddie
asked, "Do you know where we're going?"
"To
the Tower."
"Well,
yeah," Eddie said, "but that's like me being some ignoramus from
Texas without a road-map saying he's going to Achin' Asshole, Alaska. Where is
it? Which direction?"
"Bring
me my purse."
Eddie did.
Susannah stirred and Eddie paused, his face red planes and black shadows in the
dying embers of the campfire. When she rested easy again, he came back to
Roland.
Roland
rummaged in the purse, heavy now with shells from that other world. It was
short enough work to find what he wanted in what remained of his life.
The
jawbone.
The
jawbone of the man in black.
"We'll
stay here awhile," he said, "and I'll get well."
"You'll
know when you are?"
Roland
smiled a little. The shakes were abating, the sweat drying in the cool night
breeze. But still, in his mind, he saw those figures, those knights and friends
and lovers and enemies of old, circling up and up, seen briefly in those
windows and then gone; he saw the shadow of the Tower in which they were pent
struck black and long across a plain of blood and death and merciless trial.
"I
won't," he said, and nodded at Susannah. "But she will."
"And
then?"
Roland
held up the jawbone of Walter. "This once spoke."
He looked
at Eddie.
"It will
speak again."
"It's
dangerous." Eddie's voice was flat.
"Yes."
"Not
just to you."
"No."
"I
love her, man."
"Yes."
"If
you hurt her—"
"I'll
do what I need to," the gunslinger said.
"And
we don't matter? Is that it?"
"I
love you both." The gunslinger looked at Eddie, and Eddie saw that
Roland's cheeks glistened red in what remained of the campfire's embered dying
glow. He was weeping.
"That
doesn't answer the question. You'll go on, won't you?"
"Yes."
"To
the very end."
"Yes.
To the very end."
"No
matter what." Eddie looked at him with love and hate and all the aching
dearness of one man's dying hopeless helpless reach for another man's mind and
will and need.
The wind
made the trees moan.
"You
sound like Henry, man." Eddie had begun to cry himself. He didn't want to.
He hated to cry. "He had a tower, too, only it wasn't dark. Remember me
telling you about Henry's tower? We were brothers, and I guess we were
gunslingers. We had this White Tower, and he asked me to go after it with him
the only way he could ask, so I saddled up, because he was my brother, you dig
it? We got there, too. Found the White Tower. But it was poison. It killed him.
It would have killed me. You saw me. You saved more than my life. You saved my
fuckin soul."
Eddie held
Roland and kissed his cheek. Tasted his tears.
"So
what? Saddle up again? Go on and meet the man again?"
The
gunslinger said not a word.
"I
mean, we haven't seen many people, but I know they're up ahead, and whenever
there's a Tower involved, there's a man. You wait for the man because you gotta
meet the man, and in the end money talks and bullshit walks, or maybe here it's
bullets instead of bucks that do the talking. So is that it? Saddle up? Go to
meet the man? Because if it's just a replay of the same old shitstorm, you two
should have left me for the lobsters." Eddie looked at him with
dark-ringed eyes. "I been dirty, man. If I found out anything, it's that I
don't want to die dirty."
"It's
not the same."
"No?
You gonna tell me you're not hooked?"
Roland
said nothing.
"Who's
gonna come through some magic door and save you, man? Do you know? I
do. No one. You drew all you could draw. Only thing you can draw from now on is
a fucking gun, because that's all you got left. Just like Balazar."
Roland
said nothing.
"You want
to know the only thing my brother ever had to teach me?" His voice was
hitching and thick with tears.
"Yes,"
the gunslinger said. He leaned forward, his eyes intent upon Eddie's eyes.
"He
taught me if you kill what you love, you're damned."
"I am
damned already," Roland said calmly. "But perhaps even the damned
may be saved."
"Are
you going to get all of us killed?"
Roland
said nothing.
Eddie
seized the rags of Roland's shirt. "Are you going to get her killed?"
"We
all die in time," the gunslinger said. "It's not just the world that
moves on." He looked squarely at Eddie, his faded blue eyes almost the
color of slate in this light. "But we will be magnificent." He
paused. "There's more than a world to win, Eddie. I would not risk you and
her—I would not have allowed the boy to die—if that was all there was."
"What
are you talking about?"
"Everything
there is," the gunslinger said calmly. "We are going to go, Eddie. We
are going to fight. We are going to be hurt. And in the end we will
stand."
Now it was
Eddie who said nothing. He could think of nothing to say.
Roland
gently grasped Eddie's arm. "Even the damned love," he said.
5
Eddie
eventually slept beside Susannah, the third Roland had drawn to make a new
three, but Roland sat awake and listened to voices in the night while the wind
dried the tears on his cheeks.
Damnation?
Salvation?
The Tower.
He would
come to the Dark Tower and there he would sing their names; there he would sing
their names; there he would sing all their names.
The sun
stained the east a dusky rose, and at last Roland, no longer the last
gunslinger but one of the last three, slept and dreamed his angry dreams
through which there ran only that one soothing blue thread:
There I
will sing all their names!
AFTERWORD
This completes
the second of six or seven books which make up a long tale called The Dark
Tower. The third, The Waste Lands, details half of the quest of
Roland, Eddie, and Susannah to reach the Tower; the fourth, Wizard and
Glass, tells of an enchantment and a seduction but mostly of those things
which befell Roland before his readers first met him upon the trail of the man
in black.
My
surprise at the acceptance of the first volume of this work, which is not at
all like the stories for which I am best known, is exceeded only by my
gratitude to those who have read it and liked it. This work seems to be my own
Tower, you know; these people haunt me, Roland most of all. Do I really know
what that Tower is, and what awaits Roland there (should he reach it, and you
must prepare yourself for the very real possibility that he will not be the one
to do so)? Yes . . . and no. All I know is that the tale has called to me again
and again over a period of seventeen years. This longer second volume, still
leaves many questions unanswered and the story's climax far in the future, but
I feel that it is a much more complete volume than the first.
And the
Tower is closer.
Stephen
King December 1st, 1986
STEPHEN KING, the world's bestselling
novelist, is the author of more than thirty books, most
recently Desperation, Rose Madder, Insomnia, and The
Green Mile. His four volumes in the Dark
Tower
series, including The Gunslinger, The Waste Lands,
and the latest, Wizard and Glass, are all available in
Plume trade paperback editions. He lives in Bangor,
Maine, with his wife, novelist Tabitha King.