of sweetempered gunpowdered didst unto dudst but it never | 1 |
stphruck your mudhead's obtundity (O hell, here comes our | 2 |
funeral! O pest, I'll miss the post!) that the more carrots you | 3 |
chop, the more turnips you slit, the more murphies you peel, the | 4 |
more onions you cry over, the more bullbeef you butch, the | 5 |
more mutton you crackerhack, the more potherbs you pound, | 6 |
the fiercer the fire and the longer your spoon and the harder you | 7 |
gruel with more grease to your elbow the merrier fumes your | 8 |
new Irish stew. | 9 |
    O, by the way, yes,another thing occurs to me. You let me tell | 10 |
you, with the utmost politeness, were very ordinarily designed, | 11 |
your birthwrong was, to fall in with Plan, as our nationals | 12 |
should, as all nationists must, and do a certain office (what, I will | 13 |
not tell you) in a certain holy office (nor will I say where) during | 14 |
certain agonising office hours (a clerical party all to yourself) from | 15 |
such a year to such an hour on such and such a date at so and | 16 |
so much a week pro anno (Guinness's, may I remind, were just | 17 |
agulp for you, failing in which you might have taken the scales off | 18 |
boilers like any boskop of Yorek) and do your little thruppenny | 19 |
bit and thus earn from the nation true thanks, right here in our | 20 |
place of burden, your bourne of travail and ville of tares, where | 21 |
after a divine's prodigence you drew the first watergasp in your | 22 |
life, from the crib where you once was bit to the crypt you'll | 23 |
be twice as shy of, same as we, long of us, alone with the colt | 24 |
in the curner, where you were as popular as an armenial with | 25 |
the faithful, and you set fire to my tailcoat when I hold the | 26 |
paraffin smoker under yours (I hope that chimney's clear) but, | 27 |
slackly shirking both your bullet and your billet, you beat it | 28 |
backwards like Boulanger from Galway (but he combed the grass | 29 |
against his stride) to sing us a song of alibi, (the cuthone call over | 30 |
the greybounding slowrolling amplyheaving metamorphoseous | 31 |
that oozy rocks parapangle their preposters with) nomad, mooner | 32 |
by lamplight, antinos, shemming amid everyone's repressed | 33 |
laughter to conceal your scatchophily by mating, like a thorough- | 34 |
paste prosodite, masculine monosyllables of the same numerical | 35 |
mus, an Irish emigrant the wrong way out, sitting on your crooked | 36 |