SHARON
GREEN
has
written:
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
THE
REBEL PRINCE
The
Terrillan Series
THE
WARRIOR WITHIN
THE
WARRIOR ENCHAINED
THE
WARRIOR REARMED
THE
WARRIOR CHALLENGED
The
Jalav: Amazon Warrior Series
THE
CRYSTALS OF MIDA
AN OATH
TO MIDA
CHOSEN
OF MIDA
THE
WILL OF THE GODS
TO
BATTLE THE GODS
The
Diana Santee Series
MIND
GUEST
GATEWAY
TO XANADU
SHHRON
GREEN
THE FHR
SIDE
OFFOREVER
DAW
BOOKS. INC.
DONALD
A. WOLLHEIM, PUBLISHER
1633
Broadway. New York, NY 10019
Dedication:
For
Paty Cockrum—and not only for being
a good
friend. It took more than a friend to
share
Sh'rlii.
Copyright
© 1987 by Sharoo Green.
All
Rights Reserved.
Caver
an by Ken W. Ketly.
DAW
Book. Collectors No. 717.
First
Printing, August, 1987
123456789
PRINTED
IN THE U.S.A.
PROLOGUE
/—Laciel
The
room was colder than a small room should be, but not
in
front of the blazing fire where she sat. The fire jumped
and
crackled, trying to get the attention of the uncaring
gray
stone all around it, but didn't even succeed in getting
the
girl's attention. She sat in the overstuffedtirown leather
armchair,
relaxed but intent on something she seemed able
to see
in the air in front of thtf'fire and hearth, something
mat
seemed to excite her. Her violet eyes glowed in the
firelight
and one lock of her platinum blond hair had fallen
over
her right shoulder, but other than that she sat unmov~
ing and
unspeaking.
Beside
her chair, to the left, the dim, warm air stirred
and began
to thicken and darken, increasing until it was
deep
black and palpable, beating and pulsing with obvious
life-
In the midst of the living cloud were two red eyes,
blazing
as hot as the fire, intelligent and aware and con-
scious
of power in a way most beings never achieved. The
eyes
looked around, saw the girt and the way she stared,
narrowed
very briefly with disturbance, then widened again.
The
black cloud immediately began stirring a second time,
and in
five heartbeats it had assumed a form that was
definitely
feline in nature, four legs, large body, long tail,
big
head and pointed ears. All black but for the two red,
burning
eyes, which fastened themselves on the motion-
less.
oblivious girl.
6 SHARON GREEN
"If
you try it, you're a fool." the black beast-cloud said
to her,
its voice low and nearly all snarling growl. "More
minds
are lost on that plane than ever make it back, usually
because
they try it before they're ready. You're doing the
same
thing."
"I
think 1'hear someone calling you, InThig," the girl
answered
with faint annoyance, her eyes still on whatever
she
saw. "Why don't you go home and see what they
want?"
"You're
scarcely amusing, girl," the beast InThig
growled,
stretching its big body out on the stone beside the
girl's
chair. "I'm aware of the fact that you don't care to
have
people express concern for you, but I'm not people.
And I'm
only thinking of your safety."
"Demons
aren't supposed to be concerned," the giri
observed,
still not looking at me being she addressed.
"They're
also not supposed to think of people's safety.
You're
a disgrace to the legends, InThig, and should be
ashamed
of yourself. If I'd been the one to summon you,
f'dbe
ashamed."
"Happily,
your foster mother has more sense than that,"
InThig
replied, the growl turning dry as the blaze in the
eyes
sharpened. "If I could have reached her where she's
traveling
and brought her back with me, she would be
telling
you the same thing. Going to explore that plane BOW
is
reckless madness."
"If
I were ten years old, it would be reckless madness,"
the
girl came back, her annoyance rising so high that she
shifted
in the chair. "Since I'm twenty-two and have been
a full
sorceress for me last five years, it's nothing more
than
necessary research. One must expand with one's
growth,
otherwise one ceases growing."
"The
witch apprentice Nedra did not achieve the plane
on her
own," InThig persisted, the claws on its front feet
curiing
into (he stone with a chill-making scrape. "Borinthin
the
wizard sent her in and out, taking a simple payment
both
before and afterward. Borinthin has always been
attracted
to you; if you're determined to go through with
this
insanity, why not approach him as Nedra did and. . ."
The
demon's voice went on and on, but the giri had
stopped
listening. She knew what Nedra had done to achieve
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 7
me
plane, but she wasn't about to do the same. The next
time
she saw mat prancing, preening Nedra, she'd have
achieved
the plane herself, without having had to buy any
favors.
Then it would be her turn to crow.
Her
eyes were still on the point of space in front of the
hearth.
Seeing there not empty space, but the entry she'd
called
into existence- Some entries occurred naturally and
only
had to be found, and those were called gates; some,
however,
needed to be created before they were available
for
use, and those were the most dangerous. They gave
access
to planes that had no relation to human beings in
any
way, places in which humans could not long survive.
For the
unSighted to go to many of those places would be
instant
death, to remain there permanently in safety impos-
sible
even for wizards. All the Sighted could do was visit
for a
while, and that was all Laciel was going to do. She
rose
from the chair in one fluid motion, stepped two
spaces
forward, and was gone from me room.
Her
determination carried her another three paces past
the
entry into the plane on the other side, and then she
stopped
in startlement and awe to look around. Everyone
had
always said that that plane was indescribably beauti-
ful.
but the words they'd used yere pale and flat in the face
of the
actual thing. Rather than feeling dangerous the place
chimed
with lovely welcome, crystal song adorning crystal
lace,
colors such as she'd never seen before, shapes that
caught
the eye and held it. It was filled with the breathy
whispers
of lovers, the delight of small children, the inno-
cence
of a wholesome heart, the dearest hopes ever to be
dreamt
of; she was instantly entranced as she looked around,
her
mind no longer alert for what danger there might be.
Danger
was unknown in a place like that, always had been
and
always would be.
The
time rate of her own dimension was unknown in
that
other place, but after a thousand heartbeats she was
distracted
from her stroll through the overwhelming beauty
by the
awareness that her lungs were beginning to labor.
The
golden rose that had been bom through her desire to
see it
still lay fragrantly on her palm, but its perfume was
no
longer reaching her as easily as it had. She knew then
that it
was time to return through the entry, and turned to
SHARON
GREEN
her
left to find the shadowy gate only two steps away.
Slowly
and with great reluctance she took those two steps
and
then the necessary third—but found her surroundings
unchanged.
Chiming loveliness still lay everywhere, laugh-
ing
softly in shared'happiness, and the gate shadow was
now
three steps to the right. Her heart began to pound with
effort
as this time she moved to the right, but once again
stepping
through the gate took her nowhere but four steps
over
along the singing plane. She had gone twice through
the
entry and still hadn't left, and then, as fear began to
rise to
accompany shortness of breath, she finally understood.
The
plane was not only endlessly beautiful, it also cre-
ated
its visitors* fondest wishes; it would create an image
of the
entry anywhere Laciel wanted it, but none of those
images
would be the real thing. It had taken two days for
the
giri to See through to the actual entry, two days in her
own
world. From that side a new entry would take at least
as
long, but the air she had brought through with her
would
last no longer than another pair of minutes.
In
desperation the young sorceress began to really look
at the
nearest curtain of crystal lace, fully intending to
change
it into the air she needed to breathe, but under her
stare
the curtain shifted, dissolved, and left behind it—
nothing.
She blinked in shock, withdrawing her stare—and
me
curtain glimmered back to life, resuming its place
among
the other curtains and veils and trailing leaves and
tall,
delicate pastel fountains. None of it was real. none of
it had
substance, and she was already gasping; there was
nothing
in reach with which to make the air she needed,
and the
pounding in her head increased and expanded. She
was
close to blacking out, she knew, close to the end with
no hope
of finding her way back, and then the hand
appeared
in front of her. . . .
// —
Rikkan Addis
It was
heavily overcast that night, and even darker in
the
forests all. around them, but none of that was helping.
The
small group of men had already split up and melted
away
from each other in me humid dark, trying to confuse
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 9
their
pursuers, but that wasn't going to help either. They
were
being tracked by the soul-leeches that had picked
them up
at the castle, and soul-leeches couldn't be shaken
off- He
had told them that just before he had left them,
wanting
them to know just what their lies had bought them
all,
and then he had slipped off into the dark, ignoring
their
hissed demands that he return. A moment later they,
too,
had chosen separate directions, all except the two who
had
been so badly wounded they needed help to keep
moving.
If they hadn't kept moving, they would have died
that
much sooner.
He was
a shadow among shadows as he made his way
deeper
into the woods, but one that cursed silently even as
he
sharpened his senses to their limit. He had been a fool
to
believe those people when they'd told him they were
fighting
for their freedom, a fool to let their idealistic
lectures
keep him from looking around a bit more care-
iully.
They'd begged him to lead them in their revolt, had
pressed
their gold on him even before the attack just to
demonstrate
their faith and good will, they'd wined him
and
dined him and then had insisted he choose from that
group
of very willing and very eager females. The time
with
the girls had been pleasant enough, but if he hadn't
really
believed the men needed him to help them find their
dignity
as men, he never would have gotten involved. The
baron
was an evil usurper, they had told him, one who
stole
their young men for his army and their young girls
for his
bed. He had to be stopped for the sake of every
villager
in every village in the district, otherwise they were
all
doomed to endless depravity.
Just
before they had attacked the castle, he had accidentally
come
across the real reason they wanted the baron attacked.
The
night sounds of the forest had long since resumed
all
around him, but suddenly a distant scream rang out,
silencing
the daik-dwellers who had no desire to bring
attention
to themselves. Immediately he went motionless,
his
ears straining for sounds of the pursuit that had just
caught
the first of his former comrades, his head up as he
tasted
me messages borne upon the faint breeze, his eyes
blazing
even in the smothering dark. Bronze-colored those
eyes
were, dominating all of his tall, broad form, filled
10
SHARON GREEN
now
with self-recrimination and self-disgust. He'd seen the
popinjay
just before they'd left their camp to attack the
castle,
the silk-covered fop clearly having no intention of
going
with them, and had heard one of the men make
some
ribald comment about die former baron's nephew.
He'd
been too busy shifting the men into position to think
about
what he'd seen and heard, but once the attack started
and it
was too late to call it off, the truth had finally come
home to
him.
He
began moving soundlessly through the forest again,
this
time cursing the men who had lied to him. Rather man
being a
usurper the current baron was the rightful heir,
something
made completely clear the moment me castle's
defenses
had activated, it was the popinjay who was the
attempted
usurper, and he had failed to tetl his greedy
followers
that the castle itself would protect its rightful
inhabitant.
The old baron's nephew had probably known
mat if
the attacking force was targe enough and determined
enough
at least a few of them would break through, and
had
therefore decided not to mention anything else. Like
the
defense that had made men go up in pretty-colored
smoke
in me middle of their screaming charge. Like the
defense
that made the ground open to swallow up others.
Like
the ghost shapes that had flowed through the castle
walls
to drink the life from any man they touched. Like me
soul-leeches
that had picked up the trail of the few survi-
vors,
following them away from the castle and into the
woods.
No man had stayed to break into the castle, so the
popinjay
had outsmarted himself. Faced with the horrify-
ingly
unexpected, his surviving followers had cut and run,
leaving
none to assassinate the baron for him.
A
second scream came then, this time comprised of two
voices,
increasing his pace rather than halting it. If he
could
stay far enough ahead of the leeches to make it out
of the
district, they would no longer be a danger. They
couldn't
live beyond the boundaries of their own district
and
they knew it, so once he was out they would not
pursue
him. His night vision showed him the faint trail he
was
following, helping him to move soundlessly even in
his
hurry, but it simply wasn't enough. Those behind him
were
moving even faster, and didn't care about how much
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER II
noise
they made. They had quarry to catch, and weren't
about
to be denied.
When he
heard the crashing in the underbrush he knew
he'd
lost the race, but it wasn't in him to simply give up.
He
stopped and spun about, knowing they'd be on him in
another
minute, but he still had the time to compose
himself
for a final stand. Ignoring the heavy sword hung
scabbarded
at his side he stood staring back up the trail
with
his eyes blazing, a blaze that quickly began to spread
to the
rest of him. As the blaze spread his body changed,
his
form glowing and shifting and melting, until a giant
bronze
beast with dripping fangs and eager claws stood in his
place.
That was another reason they'd wanted him so
badly,
telling him his link-shape was the only thing that
could
breech the baron's final defenses, and he'd had no
reason
men to disbelieve them. His link-shape could do
quite a
lot that was beyond most ordinary mortals, but it
had
never before faced soul-leeches. If it had any power
over
them, he would soon know.
The
crashing through the underbrush turned abruptly
into
forms charging at him out of the darkness, too many
to
count, too many to avoid. The soul-leeches were small,
but
their mouths gaped wide "with needle-pointed teeth,
their
claws dripped paralyzing venom, and me pads at the
bottoms
of their feet were suckers, designed to hold to
their
victim until he was dead and drained. Their victim
snarled,
swiped across with the claws of one giant paw and
men
leaped aside, but the effort had done no more man
delay
the inevitable. More than half a dozen of the bone-
white
leeches lay twitching and dying, but the rest were
gathering
themselves to fly at him again. He snarled his
frustrated
fury and backed a step, knowing that this time
some of
them would have him, knowing that the end of his
days
had now been found, but just as they began to throw
themselves
in his direction a hand appeared before him. . . .
/// —
Targa Emmen Su Daylath
The sun
was not simply hot, and was no longer far, far
above
the land. She knew it had lowered itself to only a
12 SHARON GREEN
few
feet above her head, and now tried determinedly to
melt
her into a pool of broiled, greasy flesh. She was still
up on
her feet and still moving, but her eyes had taken to
closing
even as her feet trudged on, and her mind was
beginning
to wander.
"Fool
woman," she croaked, speaking to herself aloud
again
in an effort to recapture her attention. "Found the
tracks
and followed them, made sure you didn't lose them,
but
didn't realize until much too late how far they'd led
you.
Middle of the desert they took you,'too far out to
walk
back, then killed your mount. Too smart for animals,
those
animals, and now you're the one who's dead. Tribe
will
starve for sure if the other hunters are the same kind
of
fools, but you won't know it. Another day at least to
any
kind of water, and you won't make it."
She
grunted agreement with herself as her feet dragged
across
the flat, sandy barren, the pain of those steps just
another
thing to add to all the rest. The flaming sun bumed
down on
die sand as well as herself, and walking through
it
barefoot, had become agony. She could close her eyes
against
the blinding glare all about, but wrapping her feet
had
proven impossible. Her leather shirt had cut into wrap-
pings
easily enough, but they hadn't stayed where they'd
been
put. They'd fallen off when her attention had wan-
dered,
and by the time she'd noticed they were far behind
her.
Lack of water was doing that to her, and the heat and
the
trail that she couldn't afford to lose. As long as she
kept
her attention on the trail, it didn't matter whether or
not she
could see it; she could feel its proper place and
therefore
follow it. If once she lost that trail, though, she
knew
she would never be able to find it again.
"Damn
fool woman," she muttered almost silently, her
sand-dry
mouth and tongue and throat refusing to produce
any
more in the way of sound. "Why don't you just fall
down
and give it up?"
She
considered that suggestion for a minute, liking the
way it
sounded, but for some reason couldn't do it. When
she
fell for the final time it would be soon enough to just
lie
there, so she didn't have to bother about doing it now.
Also
she was a hunter, and hunters didn't do things like
that.
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
13
She had
been a tall, strongly-built, attractive woman
when
she'd started the return trek, light brown hair and
dark
brown eyes, but that had been days ago. Right then
she was
fire-skinned and blistered, bent and limping as
though
old, eyes closed in voluntary blindness and lips
cracked
like dried-out clay. Her hair was lank and greasy
from
sweat and her limbs had begun to tremble, and
suddenly
she knew she hadn't been lying just to keep
herself
moving- She wasn't going to make it and she was
going
to die, probably right that minute. Her shuffling
advance
had stopped and she couldn't get it going again,
not
even if she tried forever. That was it, she knew, the
final
step, and just before she fell for the last time she
opened
her eyes—to see the hand. . . .
IV —
Kadrim Harra
He'd
spent a long time that morning just standing and
staring
out a window of his palace, and no one had dared
to
disturb him. The king had been moody, they knew, and
it
wasn't wise to intrude on a moody king, most especially
not one
who had taken his kingdom by the strength of his
sword.
That sword had been hanging on the wall above his
throne
for more than twenty years now, but it hadn't been
neglected
or allowed to rust. When he took it down and
buckled
it on there was still no one to question his actions,
not
even when he got a mount and rode away from me
palace
alone toward the mountains. He had never been the
sort of
king who bowed to the will of others just because
they
were there to advise him; his advisors offered advice
only
when it was asked for, and at other times kept their
mouths
prudently shut.
He was
into the mountains in no time. moving quickly
through
the foothills and then upward toward his favorite
thinking
place, his refuge from the demands of kingship. It
took
more than an hour of steady riding and climbing to
reach
it, and once he did he dismounted slowly and left the
beast
untethered, then walked out as far as he could. His
favorite
place was a widened platform of a plateau on the far
side of
the mountain, and when he stood at the edge and
SHARON
GREEN
14
looked
over, he could see a thousand feet and more down
to the
slope below, with nothing in the way to mar the
view.
He had always loved that place, which made this
particular
visit no more than fitting.
"I
have come for a final time, old friend," he said to
the
view, letting his eyes move slowly from one side to the
other-
"1 am no longer able to bear this life, and no longer
young
enough to seek another. How foolish a man is to
survive
all his battles, for then he becomes that most
pitiful
of things, an aged warrior."
He
stood silently with his gaze turned inward, remem-
bering
the streaks of gray he had seen in his hair and beard
that
very morning. Until then he had seen no more than the
bright
red of the time of his youth, but after bending down
and
having trouble straightening again, he had gone in
shock
to study his reflection. The face that looked out at
him
still had bright, hard blue eyes, but it was the face of a
man who
hadn't seen battle for the length of his oldest
son's
lifetime, for long enough for him to have grown old
without
his having noticed. He had been discontented for a
long
while, and had found it more and more difficult
remembering
that he had conquered every foot of land he
could
see from horizon to horizon, had taken it and held it
and
made it his own; in the beginning the accomplishment
had
been very satisfying, but after a time the satisfaction
had
palled. Every year he had promised himself that the
very
next year he would ride beyond what was his and
claim
what others thought was theirs, but ruling his own
was
chore enough, and more than enough for a man who
preferred
the taking to the ruling. If he took more he
would
have more to rule, and more to keep him from any
further
taking.
He
sighed as he thought about it and shook his head, a
big man
now emptied of what had made him larger than
life.
Not one city in his entire kingdom had been able to
stand
against his forces when he'd first ridden in attack,
not one
that could anticipate his strategy and defend against
it.
That, too, had kept him from riding out again, for this
had
been the largest and best defended kingdom on the
entire
continent before it had fallen to him; after that, what
sport
would the others be?
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
15
Now
even the thought of sport made him wince, espe-
cially
the sport a man should find interest in till his body
was no
longer filled with breath. As he had stood gazing at
himself
in the glass that morning, that devil-kitten Sheldis
had
come up behind him and circled his body with her
amis,
then had begun to stroke him- Rather than respond
to her
as he always did, he had for the first time in his life
felt
unable, the horror of which had made him send her
away.
He was old, and useless, and no longer even a man;
as a
king he had lately left running his kingdom to his
eldest
five sons, who saw to the thing better man he ever
had.
There was nothing left to do but end it entirely,
before
he became a burden rather than a king.
"And
before word spreads of my vanished manhood,"
be
muttered, knowing he would never be able to bear the
shame
of that. To need to live with shame would slay a
man, to
live with shame and boredom both, far worse than
death.
It was better that he end it at once, right there, in
me
place he had always loved. He stood at the very edge
of the
plateau, his once-strong left hand resting on the hilt
of the
sword that had been his only close companion for
many
long years, his eyes taking a final pleasure from the
scene
he would soon become ,a part of. One last time he
sighed,
a wordless farewell to all those he left behind, and
men he
raised his foot for the longest stride he had ever
taken.
Raised the foot and set the body to following—and
men
there was a hand before him. . . .
V —
Soffann Dra
The
lock was so simple she scarcely paid attention to it,
getting
through the door faster than she would have with a
key. It
was darker inside than she had expected it to be,
but she
couldn't take the time to worry about that. She
slipped
inside quickly and silently and shut the door be-
hind
her, then groped around trying to find something to
sit on.
The man who had paid her me advance had said she
might
get there before him, and if she did she was to wait.
She
exclaimed in a low voice as she bruised her shin on
something
hard, then discovered that the something was a
i6
SHARON
GREEN
wooden
stool. Beside the stool was a low wooden table,
one to
match the height of the seat. She smoothed her
skirts
down and sat on the stool, wondering how long she
would
have to wait, knowing she would wait as long as
necessary.
She had agreed to meet the man in that deserted
part of
the city in the dead of night for only one reason,
the
same reason that would keep her there until he showed
up- The
money he'd given her for the work he wanted
done
was only a small part of the ultimate total, more than
she'd
ever seen at one time in all her life. With tastes as
expensive
as hers, she needed all the money she could get.
She sat
on the stool in me absolute blackness, one hand
unconsciously
patting her dark, well-kept hair. thinking
about
how much danger the job was likely to have. She'd
been
told not to let anyone see her getting to the meeting
place,
advice that was meant for her sake rather man his.
Whatever
he needed opened had to be important, then,
probably
something that didn't belong to him. She would
protect
herself in the usual way before she started the job,
so if
what needed to be opened happened to have the ducal
seal on
it, she would not lose her life rather man getting
paid
once it was done. There wasn't anyone in the city
better
at opening things than she was, and maybe no one
better
even on the entire continent; if anything happened to
her,
uncounted numbers of things would just have to stay
closed.
She
chuckled at the thought, knowing exactly how at-
tractive
most men found that chuckle. It went perfectly
with
her large green eyes and oval, innocent face. her
small
but very well-shaped body, her throaty and ex-
tremely
intimate voice. All in all her attributes had added
gold
pieces to her fee more than a few times, and often
they'd
even found her diversions. Some of her male clients
had
been rather attractive, and those she had allowed to
buy her
certain things in exchange for her favors. The
others
she refused no matter what they showered her with,
also
refusing to lower her standards for mere gold and
jewels.
As long as there were things that needed to be
opened,
she could find the necessary gold that way.
And
thinking of things that needed to be opened, what
could
be keeping her newest client? She shifted on the
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
I?
hard
stool in discomfort, really quite surprised that he had
kept
her waiting that long. It had been clear that he'd
found
her as compelling as most men did. and shouldn't be
that
late meeting her. She wouldn't be opening anything
that
night, of course, only after they'd come to a firm
agreement
and had arranged a rendezvous with which they
both
felt safe and comfortable, but first he had to get
there—
She jumped
up from the stool with a low gasp when she
heard
the faint scrape and loud thump on the other side of
the
table. Someone was there in the room with her, some-
one she
hadn't even heard breathing in the dark, someone
she
hadn't seen when she'd first opened me door and come
in.
Unsteadily she considered saying the name he'd given
her,
then simply backed slowly away toward the wall
behind
her. If it had been her client he would have greeted
her as
soon as she appeared, so it had to be someone else.
The
fact that the sounds hadn't been repeated wasn't any-
tiling
like reassuring, and she couldn't keep from shuddering.
Just as
she had decided to break and run for the door, a
dim
light began glowing in the middle of the low wooden
table.
It wasn't a natural light such as a candle or lamp,
and it
froze her in place with ifs eerie pink glow. She knew
it
couldn't be anything but magic, but couldn't imagine
why
magic was being used against her. She hadn't done
anything
to anyone—lately—so there was really no reason—
"Girl,"
a soft female voice said from the strengthening
glow, a
voice she had never heard before. "Did you enjoy
me gold
you were given? I know you were expecting
more,
but unfortunately there won't be any more. One of
the
reasons is on the other side of this table."
Gingerly
she edged around the glow to peer at the filthy
floor
on the other side of the table, then jumped back with
a gasp.
The man who had arranged to meet her there had
gotten
there first—but he was dead. He lay sprawled gro-
tesquely
on the floor beside a second stool, and the sounds
she'd
heard must have been the sounds of his body falling
from
the stool.
"He
was the only one who knew of my involvement in
this,"
the voice continued, sounding sleek and pleased.
"In
my position I can't afford to become involved, but I
118 SHARON GREEN
never
fail to pay the debts I owe. Some months ago, you
opened
a cream-colored leather box for a gentleman who
never
gave his name. Inside the box were certain letters
and
documents that shoutd have been seen by no one but
myself,
and now they're in the possessidn of my husband.
You're
incapable, I think, of understanding the incredible
difficulty
I now have because of that, and I consider it
only
fair that you be given some difficulty of your own.
To
teach you. in the best way possible, not to meddle in
affairs
mat don't concern you."
"But
I didn't—!" she began, much more frightened
than
she had been, most especially as the voice belonged
to a
woman. She couldn't deal with women as easily as
she did
with men, and the situation looked far from
promising.
"Ah,
but you did," the woman's voice interrupted, still
calm
and faintly amused. "At this time, however, I think
we can
safely assume that you won't do it again. I under-
stand
that you've boasted there isn't anything you can't
unlock;
if yoa find yourself able to unlock yourself from
that
room, I'll consider us quits. Good-bye."
The
glow immediately began to die, leaving her with a
hand
clutched round her heart. She would separate herself
from
that room, all right, and without wasting another
minute!
She turned to run toward the door, wanting noth-
ing
more than to get as far away from that place as possible—
and at
that moment all four walls burst into flame. She
screamed
and stumbled back from the roaring sheets of
fire,
fell to the floor and tried to crawl away, but there was
no
place to crawl to. The heat was terrible and her lungs
already
felt burned, and as she heard the faint sound of
female
laughter she knew that that was one manner of binding
she
never would unlock. She began coughing, knowing it
was
only a matter of seconds, feeling her clothing already
beginning
to smolder, and then there was a hand. . . .
VI —
ZaU T'Zannu
He
stood in the shadows doing more than simply listen-
ing,
not only in the shadows but actually a part of them.
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
19
Much of
his adult and near-adult life had been spent as a
shadow,
and that fact pleased him enormously. People
guarded
against other people, but it was impossible to
guard
against shadows.
Some
parts of the castle were new, but the part he stood
m men
was older than most could remember. The square
gray
stone blocks all around him were covered with the
green
of age and damp, and very few torches burned that
far
below ground. He could hear water dripping some-
where,
and a steady, distant scraping of some sort, but felt
nothing
in the way of human presence near him- The level
was as
deserted as he'd been told it would be, which
wasn't
surprising. The earl's strongroom was three levels
up from
that place, and the guard mounted on it was heavy
enough
to stop a troop of cavalry. Well, they could guard
the
strongroom all they liked; he was after bigger fish.
The
shadows extended all the way to the old, splintered
wooden
door he had been looking for, and once he'd
shouldered
me thing open he paused to light a small torch
of his
own. Dark was good to move through, but a man
needed
light when there was delicate work to be done. He
entered
the bare, stone room, closed the door behind him
and set
his torch in the wall^ then began pacing out the
exact
center of the room. That would be his starting point,
and it
had to be as accurate as possible.
Quite a
lot of time went by in pacing and measuring, but
he was
far too absorbed to notice it. What he was engaging
in men
was a passion inherited from his father, passed on
as
undeniably as the lands and gold would be, but far less
publicly.
For four generations his family had been collect-
ing
legendary and/or fabulous items produced down through
me
centuries, which were not readily available to the
general
public. If securing them required only gold, then
gold
was supplied; if securing them required more effort
man
mere wealth, his family had always been willing to
supply
mat as well. To say they stole would be reducing a
grand,
irresistible passion to the prosaic, and he and his
family
had never been that. Passion and practicality had
dictated
their efforts, until me latest of their line had
proven
that there was nothing he could not take, no matter
how
well guarded it was.
20
SHARON GREEN
Or how
intricately unguarded it was. The wall stone he
stopped
in front of looked no different from any of the
others,
and his gray eyes inspected it carefully before his
long-fingered
hand reached out to touch it. Cautious, gen-
tle
fingertips proved it also felt the same, but that meant
nothing.
If the priceless relic was there, it had been there
long
enough for an entire castle of stones to match up.
What he
had to do next was try the combination.
After
gently marking the key stone with a piece of
chalk,
he backed away from the wall until he'd reached a
distance
of about eight feet, then withdrew a rod from
beneath
his cape. The rod was no more than a foot in
length
until he began pulling on it, and then it obligingly
extended
and extended and extended, until he was able to
reach
the wall again without moving toward it. The rod
was
light and stiff enough to produce a minimum of
waving
at the far end, and he'd practiced with it so often
over
the years that his touch with it was more deft than
many
people were with their own hands.
"Never
trust an enemy, even when he's dying,*' he
muttered,
leveling the pole and beginning to press the
stone
with it in a precise pattern. If a relic or a work of art
was in
some contemporary's possession, it simply had to
be
fiberated from whatever safeguards had been contrived
for it;
if it was still where it had been originally secreted,
however,
there were traps and Fiendishly deadly snares to
avoid
if the searcher wanted to survive to enjoy his find.
Ramil
had intended going after it himself, but their duel
had
come first and had ended all of Ramil's intentions.
The
dying man had told him where to find the parchment
detailing
the location of me relic, and had sworn with his
last
breath that there were no traps. Ramil had parted with
the
information—or so he had said—because he wanted
someone
with a desire equaling his own to have it; in full
truth
Zail didn't believe that for a minute. Ramil had
wanted
him dead, and probably had had another parchment
which
detailed the traps. If he had believed there weren't any,
he
would have deserved whatever happened to him.
With
the last touch of the rod the stone began to sink
downward
with a grinding scrape—and at the same time a
full
five foot by five foot section of the stone of the floor
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 21
dropped
a good deal more quickly. Anyone standing on
(hat
stone to touch the wall would have gone through the
floor,
but he'd come across that kind of trap before and
had the
rod to take care of it. If that was the only snare
guarding
it, he would thank the gods later when he got
home.
The
floor stone rose again and clicked into place, but he
was no
longer paying attention to it. Even as his hands
compressed
the rod back into a more manageable and
concealable
size. his gaze was captured by what the sink-
tog
wall stone revealed. Resting comfortably on a stone
cushion
in the niche now opened to view was a scepter, one
that
seemed to be made of solid gallium. The blue-white
metal
gleamed even in the dim light of the single, under-
sized
torch, but not quite as brightly as the huge heartfire
gem set
at its end. Color flared and glowed from the
exquisitely
faceted jewel in a way that hadn't been seen or
matched
in centuries, and there could be no doubt as to
what
relic he'd found.
"The
Living Flame, scepter of Prassa the Unconquer-
able!"
he breathed, hardly daring to believe it. The glori-
ous
tiling had been sought for so long\ Wait until his father
saw
it! ^
Despite
his excitement he proceeded carefully, testing
(he
floor before trusting it with his weight, and then study-
ing the
scepter before attempting to touch it. There had to
be
other traps, he knew it for a certainty, but the only
possibility
occurring to him involved me stone cushion the
.scepter
lay on. He had put the collapsed rod back into his
cape,
but now he drew it out again with a different purpose
;ai
mind. Using the rod to tap gently at the scepter, he
discovered
that there were no hidden knives waiting to cut
the
hand from anyone reaching into the niche. With that
routine
taken care of, he held the rod behind the scepter.
reached
in with his free hand for the relic, then immedi-
ately
put the rod on the stone cushion in its place. His
heart
pounded with elation and excitement as he stood
mere
with the scepter in his hands, the relic now free of
me
niche with no further traps sprung! He wanted nothing
more
than to stand mere and drink in the sight of it, but
22
SHARON GREEN
that
could be done once he got home. He still had to get
out of
die castle undetected, and that would take time.
Once
the scepter was wrapped and comfortably nestled
into
his cape in the place the rod had previously been, he
took
his torch from the wall and went to the door. As soon
as he
had the door open he would put the torch out, and
then he
would go back the same way he'd—
A heavy
click came from the door when he pulled on it,
a sound
he hadn't heard the first time he'd opened it.
Quick
as a startled bird he jumped to one side, but nothing
else
seemed to be happening. He approached the door
again
being careful of the floor and ceiling stones while
also
watching all around, and this time pulled harder on
the
metal grip. The old wooden door should have opened
then,
even if it moved no more than slowly, but it didn't
budge.
He pulled again and again, his heart beginning to
hammer
from something other than elation, but it was a
waste
of effort. The door refused to open, and he had
nothing
to force it with even if it were possible.
He
turned away from the door in disgust, but more with
himself
than anything else. He should have anticipated die
possibility
of being locked in, and left the door open a
crack.
Now he would have to wait until his father realized
that
something had gone wrong, and came looking for
him. If
he hadn't taken me precaution of speaking with his
father
before starting out, he would have undoubtedly died
down
there, with none knowing what had happened to
hmi.
That level was never—
His
thoughts slowed to instant stillness as he realized
he'd
been hearing a sound of some sort, and it seemed to
be
coming from the niche. Slowly he carried his torch back
to the
wall, and saw that the stone cushion the scepter had
been
resting on was sinking into the bottom of the niche.
He knew
then that substituting the rod hadn't done any
good,
that the difference in weight had triggered another
trap,
and that was probably what had locked the door. But
if that
was all it was meant to do, why was the cushion
still
sinking downward—?
The
answer to his question came with a loud click as the
cushion
sank flush with the bottom of the niche—^and
stones
on three of the four walls slid aside to reveal pipes.
THE PAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
A few
seconds of scraping and gurgling passed, and then
water
began spewing out of the pipes, heavy streams of
water
mat seemed pure and clear. An underground river
had to
be feeding those pipes if mere was still water after
all
those centuries, and he could see that the river in-
tended
emptying itself into the room. He ran back to the
door
and tried pulling on it again, then kicked it hard
before
turning away. There was no way out of that room,
none at
all, and me water was already up to his ankles.
His jaw
tightened when he understood how few minutes he
had
left, but even then he could only regret that he hadn't
taken
greater precautions; as far as finding the scepter
went,
he had no regrets at all.
The
water quickly rose higher, and he did nothing more
than
begin to swim once he could no longer stand. There
was
always the chance that the level would stop before it
rose
all the way to me ceiling, and even a slim chance was
worth
grasping. He held the torch clear as long as he
could,
until his head was being pressed into the ceiling,
and
just as water slopped into his mouth and nose and
quenched
the torch, he saw a hand. . . .
CHAPTER 1
The
room was larger in all dimensions than it needed to
be,
giving me, at least, the impression that I sat in the
house
of a rustic giant. Wood paneling, decorative beams,
immense
stone fireplace and upholstered log furniture sup-
plied
the rustic, and a twenty-foot ceiling on a forty by
forty
foot room made the giant. 1 wasn't quite sure what he
was up
to, except that he seemed to want us to be relaxed
but
impressed; if the others felt the way I did, he'd missed
his
mark by quite a lot,
1
shifted in the chair I'd claimed in order to sit with one
leg
under me, wondering again who all those people
were.
I'd looked at each of them and had found that they
were
real, but their life forces were resonating in a way
that
said they weren't native to that world-dimension in
which
they found themselves. I was native to it, but that
didn't
mean I knew any more than they did.
All
five of them seemed to be more wrapped up in their
own
thoughts than interested in starting conversations, and
that
despite the cozy circle of chairs we sat in. The chairs
stood
on a large shaggy rug that was probably supposed to
look like
an animal hide, and a round log table stood in the
middle
of our chair-circle with two bowls of assorted fruit
on it.
The main conversation-stopper seemed to be the
seventh
chair in our circle, the empty, larger chair that
none of
them had been able to claim. The spell on the
chair
kept it reserved for whoever was coming, and al-
1A
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
25
though
I could have negated the spell and taken it myself,
it
didn't seem worth the trouble. The others would have
begun
throwing questions at me, questions I couldn't an-
swer. 1
was feeling stupid just then for a number of
reasons,
and not having those answers simply added to
it—and
to my mounting annoyance. We'd been shifting
uncomfortably
in those chairs for at least twenty minutes,
which
in my current mood was seventeen minutes too
long-
I'd waited with as much patience as I could muster,
but now
the patience was all used up.
"Right
now strikes me as a good time to make an
appearance,"
I observed to the air in the empty seventh
chair,
drawing three pairs of startled male eyes and two
pairs
of equally startled female ones. "If you don't agree,
I'll go
home to do my waiting."
The air
in the seventh chair started shimmering then,
and a
figure began forming and filling to occupy the space.
To the
accompaniment of a single gasp our host at long
last
showed himself, and also showed mat he was still
reaching
for specific reactions from us. It was hardly likely
that
any of us doubted he would prove to be a wizard, so
the
shape he took was unnecessary for the purpose of
supporting
the point. We weie now being inspected by a
robust
man who carried his many-years easily, his hair and
beard
very long and dazzlingly white, his light eyes spar-
kling
with gentle understanding and amusement, his long-
sleeved.
electric-blue robe covering a body mat seemed
two
feet taller and a foot wider than even the redheaded
boy who
was one of our six. I could feel how powerful he
was
without even trying, but that was no excuse for theat-
rics
designed to impress the backward.
"The
ever-impatient Laciel," he remarked when his
inspection
moved itself to me, his smile apparently strug-
gling
to keep from becoming a grin. "Since you knew it
when I
came in and seated myself, I'm surprised you were
able to
wait even this long. What's the matter, child?
Don't
you approve of my appearance?"
"You
know I don't," I answered, aware of the stir of
discomfort
among the others. "1 may owe my life to you,
but
that doesn't give you the right to patronize me. It's
26
SHARON GREEN
obvious
I was brought here for a reason; how about getting
around
to mentioning what it is?"
"Don't
be upset by her abruptness of manner,'* he said
to the
others, most of whom seemed embarrassed and
dismayed
and flinching as well as upset. "Sorceresses tend
to be
difficult to impress, especially when they have the
potential
power that she does. And, of course, when they
have
her impatience."
"When
a king fails to find waiting beneath him. a girl
should
have far less difficulty," the redheaded boy put in,
the
comment half-disapproving and half-amused. He seemed
to be
no more than seventeen, if that old, but his very
large
body was fully developed, muscles bulging out of
arms
and shoulders, thick neck corded with strength, chest
deep
and wide and covered with red hair. He was bare to
his
trim waist except for a wide gold band around each of
his
upper arms, and from the waist down he wore supple
leather
pants and boots in gray, with a wide belt of woven
gold
cinching me pants. The red hair on his head was
rather
long, straight and thick, but his broad face looked
too
pink-cheeked to ever have been shaved. His deep voice
made it
all fit together rather neatly—except for his unself-
conscious
bearing and straightforward blue eyes. Some-
how,
those eyes would have been more suited to a man
three
times his age.
"Please
believe that I appreciate your patience, Kadrim
Harra,"
the wizard said to the boy, sounding as though he
were
speaking to an adult his own age. "All of you have
been
more than patient, especially in view of the fact that
you
don't know what's happened to you. The truth of the
matter
is I need you six, to help with a serious problem 1
have.
In return for what 1 have done for each of you, there
is a
service I would like you all to perform. A dangerous
service,
but no more dangerous than what you left behind."
The
expressions on me faces of the others gave me the
distinct
impression that I wasn't the only one who had
been
about to pay for stupidity in a rather permanent way
when
rescued, and me next one to speak confirmed mat.
"What
I left behind me was certain death," the second
of the
three men said, drawing agreeing nods from the
third
man and the smaller of the two women. "If what
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
you're
about to ask us to do means the same, what benefit
will
there have been for us in being rescued?"
"A
fair question, Rikkan Addis," the wizard allowed,
looking
at the man with benevolent understanding, his
hand
stroking his long white beard. The man he spoke to
was not
as large as the redheaded boy, but by any other
standards
he was far from small. His bronze-colored eyes
were
his most outstanding feature, set off by a tanned face
and
dark black hair, supported by a wide, broad-shouldered
body
dressed in rust-colored leather. Shirt, pants and even
boots
were rust-colored, and an intricately linked belt of
silver
circled his waist. "If I were sending you on a
hopeless
mission, there would have been no benefit in
your
having been rescued at all," the wizard said to him,
' 'but
the mission 1 have is no more than extremely danger-
ous.
There's a great deal of difference between extremely
dangerous
and hopeless."
"I'm
really very grateful to have been given my life
back,"
the smaller woman interjected before the man with
the
strange eyes could say anything else, drawing the
wizard's
gaze to her. "I would have no objections at all to
showing
how grateful, but as far as this—extremely dan-
gerous
mission goes, I'm afraid I'm just not cut out for it.
Don't
you think it would be much better if I stayed here,
rather
man going along to be nothing but a burden?"
Her
smiled warmed with the end of her question, adding
to the
overall sense of extreme and eager willingness she
was
projecting—along with the delicate appeal of helpless-
ness,
She was smaller than the other woman and myself,
her
long black hair arranged into curls and twists that
framed
her angelic face. Dark lashes made her big green
eyes
very visible, and her mouth was generous with pout-
ing
lips of bright red. Her skin was too light for her to
have
spent much time outdoors, and the delicate, long-
skirted
gown of green she wore not only set off her small
but
lush figure, it also matched her eyes. She seemed to
know
that the wizard wasn't as old as his appearance
suggested,
and she had leaned somewhat toward him as
she
spoke, adding to the effect of her throaty suggestion. If
the
wizard had fallen for it 1 would have walked out
28
SHARON
GREEN
in
disgust no matter how powerful he was, but all he did
was
look at her with a sobriety she wasn't expecting.
"My
dear Soffann Dra, I really do wish I could oblige
you,"
he said, the gentle but implacable words taking the
smile
from her. "I hadn't meant to go into this now, but
since
you've raised the point I might as well explain it. 1
need
six people with six individual talents for my mission,
and
expended a certain amount .of energy bringing mem
and
keeping them here. The energy needed was greater
than
you know, and I haven't any to spare above that
certain
amount. If one of you isn't suited to the mission,
that
one will have to be replaced with someone of equal
talent—which
can be done, I'm sorry to say, only after me
original
candidate has been returned to where he—or she—
came
from."
The
small woman's light skin paled visibly and a good
deal of
fear came into her eyes, but strangely enough she
was me
only one to react that way. The other woman and
me
three men seemed to consider me arrangement no more
than
fair, indicating mat they'd probably already decided
to pay
off their life-debt in whatever way they had to. As
far as
I was concerned I would have been long gone if I
hadn't
also decided the same, which left the smalt woman
the
only one among us who had tried to renege. She
looked
around quickly to see how everyone else was tak-
ing the
news, then leaned back in her chair in defeat.
"Well,
if you put it like that, of course I'll go," she
said,
then deliberately raised those eyes to the wizard with
another
smile meant to devastate. "After all, there is no
one eke
of equal talent you could replace me with."
The
wizard chuckled at the woman's audacity, his reac-
tion matched
with smites from the three men, but for some
reason
the other woman and I weren't amused. Possibly we
weren't
built right to appreciate her—wit. The general
enjoyment
continued being expressed for a short while,
and
then the man with me bronze eyes, Rikkan Addis,
turned
to the wizard again.
"Now
that we know your mission isn't hopeless and
that
we'll all be going," he said, "I, at least, will appreci-
ate a
few more details. Where will we be going, and for
what
purpose?"
THE F^R
SIDE OF FOREVER
He sat
back in his chair and crossed his long legs, both
actions
signs of relaxation, but I had the feeling that
something
in the questions he'd asked had more impor-
tance
for him than he was letting on. Before answering,
the
wizard's hand went again to his beard, which I began
to
believe was a sign that he was handling something of a
delicate
nature. I now knew that Rikkan Addis had to be
handled,
but didn't yet know why.
"Your
ultimate destination is a place whose name I
know as
well as the approximate position where it lies,"
the
wizard answered at last, his hand still slowly stroking
his
beard. "Something of great importance was stolen
from
this world and taken there, and if it isn't recovered
our
world here will die- 1 tried going after it myself, but
me
safeguards along the trail were set with me in mind,
negating
my strengths and taking advantage of my weak-
nesses-
You six will have to do the task for me, and if you
succeed
your rewards will be greater than you ever dreamed
possible;
if you fail, a world dies with you."
"I
find it best to consider only success, and let failure
worry
about itself," the third man said in an easy way,
sharing
nothing of the frowning silence which had taken
the
others. "Will part of my^own reward be the return of
the
Living Flame?"
His
gray eyes rested easily on the wizard, a faint smile
making
his handsome face even more attractive. He seemed
to be
as tall as the man with bronze eyes who sat two
chairs
away from him, but his body was a bit more slender
and
graceful, and his dark brown hair curlier rather than
mane-thick.
He wore a wide-sleeved shirt of white, closed
at the
wrists and open to the middle of his chest, black
trousers
and short black boots, with a small golden medal-
lion
hung from around his neck. He looked as though
being
relaxed was the only state of living he had ever
learned,
and the wizard smiled as his hand stopped
beard-stroking.
"The
Living Bame is, of course, yours, Zail T'Zannis,"
he
acknowledged, his tone making the words a sworn
oath.
"Even if you don't return for it yourself, I'll make
sure it
reaches your father. Will that satisfy you?"
"Very
much so," the man said with the flash of a wider
SHARON
GREEN
30
smile,
for some reason amused. "I'd prefer unveiling it
myself
for him, but if that becomes impossible it helps to
know
he'll have it anyway. Please go on with what you
were
saying before I interrupted."
"What
1 was saying was mat this world is in danger of
dying,'*
the wizard resumed, losing his smile again. "I
think
you should know that except for Laciel, none of you
are
native to this world-dimension. If this one dies your
own
worlds will, for the most part, be untouched, except
for the
unavoidable ripples that the dying will send through
the
dimensions. The ripples can cause storms or earth-
quakes
or eruptions or, in certain instances, political unrest
or
out-and-out war, but nothing that your worlds won't be
able to
survive. It's the people of mis world who will die if
you
fail."
"I
don't understand," I said slowly into the newest
silence,
which was something of an understatement. He
had
just lessened everyone's motivation for success but
mine,
and I couldn't figure out what he was up to. "How
could this
world possibly be in that much danger without
anyone
knowing about it? And what could have been
stolen
that would make that much of a—"
I
stopped in midsentence as a chill washed over me, me
answer
to my question coming even as I'd asked it. There
was
only one thing that could have been taken, but I'd
always
thought it was impossible!
*'I
believe you understand now," the wizard said, com-
passion
on his face for the stunned expression on mine.
"What
was stolen was the balance stone of the Tears of
the
Mist."
"And
you're Graymor," I said, no longer wondering
why
he'd disguised himelf in a way that kept me from
looking
through. He'd needed time to build up to me
shock
he'd known it would be for me, and maybe he'd
been
right. But as I put one hand to my head, 1 wasn't sure
years
would have been long enough.
"And
I'm Graythor," he agreed gently, men sent his
gaze to
the others. "Laciel knows me not only because
we're
long-time acquaintances, but because she knows mat
I'm the
Protector of the Tears, just as everyone on this
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
31
world
does. Every century a Protector is chosen from
among
the most powerful wizards then alive, and he or she
serves
until the next Protector is chosen. My term of office
was
nearly up when this happened, and maybe that fact
caused
me to be careless; if it did, I'm more than paying
for
it."
He
paused a moment to look away from everyone, his
face
and eyes briefly ages older than they had been, and I
doubt
if anyone in the room thought the change had been
caused
by magic. Most of them shifted in place with sym-
pathy
or embarrassment, and their movement brought his
attention
back to them.
"The
Tears of the Mist keep this world stable," he said
with a
sigh, straightening in his own chair. "Aeons ago
the
Tears were set in place by the EverNameless to make
the
world habitable and safe, and to remove them all from
their
resting frame would cause its immediate destruction,
Removal
of the balance stone alone, however, delays that
destruction
and stretches it out, so that the breakup begins
slowly
and builds toward the final destruction. For that
reason
alone is there time enough to search for the balance
stone
and time enough—maybe—to return it to its place.
As long
as the breakup basnet gone beyond the point of no
return,
it will still be able to be-stopped."
"That
seems somewhat odd," the gray-eyed man called
Zail
TZannis remarked, one finger rubbing thoughtfully at
his
face. "If I wanted to destroy & world, I'd do it in the
fastest
way possible, not in a way that would give some-
one the
chance to stop me. And why would anyone want
to
destroy a world anyway? Maybe the stone was simply
taken
to embarrass you."
"Your
objections are valid, sir," Graythor acknowl-
edged,
a wry look appearing on his face under the beard.
"Right
now only we in this room know the balance stone
is
gone, but soon everyone will know it and wilt also know
that
its loss is due to my negligence. If the matter weren't
so
serious, everyone would laugh." The wry look disap-
peared
to be replaced with bleakness, and Graythor shook
his
head. "But me matter is indeed that serious, and once
the
world begins to break up, no one will have the time or
SHARON
GREEN
die
heart to laugh. They'll all know they're facing death,
and
only those with the power will be able to escape it.''
"But
if you have time before it happens, why can't you
just
move everyone somewhere else?" the small woman,
Soffann
Dra, asked, her pretty brow creased in thought.
"That
way it won't matter what happens to this world."
"My
dear young woman, there are uncounted millions
of
people living on this world," the wizard answered,
trying
not to show how ridiculous the question was. "There
aren't
wizards enough to move even a quarter of them,
which
means there would have to be those who were left
behind.
Would you want to be the one to decide who will
live
and who will die? Without knowing good from evil,
kind
from vicious, intelligent from retarded, industrious
from
hanger-on? Would you take them at random, first
come
first served, encouraging them to trample each other
in
their desperation to get to safety? Would you have them
first
fight and kill each other, and then take only the
survivors?
The decision would be one many would find
fascinating,
but I'm not quite up to fascination of that
sort."
"Then
the thing was done by an enemy of yours, rather
than of
this world's," said Kadrim Harra, the red-haired
boy who
continued to sound so unboylike. "As Zail
T'Zannis
has said, one who desired the destruction of a
world
would see to mat destruction with the utmost possi-
ble
speed. As the choice of speed was possible yet disre-
garded,
agonizing anticipation must be the true reason for
the
act. To know of the coming destruction and yet be
powerless
to halt it, must truly cause unbearable pain for
you."
"No
more unbearable than the rending of my soul,"
Graythor
said, his face now expressionless, his gaze aimed
inward,
his hands curled in silent fury around the arms of
the
chair. "Yes, the one who did this is an enemy of mine,
one who
knew how I would take it. Millions of people,
knowing
me responsible for the safety of the Tears, will
die
cursing my name with their last breath. Those who are
able to
breech the dimensions will do so, taking knowl-
edge of
my infamy with them and spreading it as far as
there
are ears to hear, eyes to read, fingers to sign, minds
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
33
to
merge. If that was simply the payment demanded for the
survival
of this world I would gladly make it, but mat
simple
an expiation will not be allowed me. I have no
choice
other man to die with those people whose death I
caused,
or live on in safety in another dimension, remem-
bering
what it was I left behind me. Death, of course,
would
be the far better choice, but there are those else-
where
who also depend on my survival for their own-
Most
likely I'll find that I've been given no other choice
than to
live on and remember."
"Or
to end the horror before it begins," said the bronze-
eyed
man, Rikkan Addis, in the hardest voice I'd ever
heard,
his eyes glowing with fury. "I don't need to know
what
sort of monster would kill a world full of people just
to hurt
a single individual; all 1 need to know is where that
monster
is so that I can find it. What do we have to do?"
Graythor
looked around at the circle then, his face
lightening
with the beginnings of hope, and every face
looking
back at him reflected Rikkan Addis* statement of
challenge.
They were all pledging themselves to him with-
out
reservation, and from that pledge the strength flowed
back
into him as though it had never left. His hands slowly
uncurled
from the chair arms, and a smile of silent thanks
creased
his face as he nodded again.
"The
first part of what you must do is simple," he
said,
his voice now filled with relief and enthusiasm.
"You
all must follow the trail of the balance stone across
the
dimensions, to the place where it was taken and is now
being
kept. The stone leaves a—a—spoor, I suppose you
could
call it, wherever it happens to pass, one that Targa
Emmen
Su Daylath won't have any trouble following. The
rest of
you will simply follow her."
All
eyes suddenly went to the only one of us who hadn't
yet
spoken, the big woman who sat next to me. Targa
Emmen
Su Daylath smiled a faint, unself-conscious smile
di the
attention, but still didn't say anything. She had dark,
calm
eyes in a face mat was pleasant rather man pretty,
very
long, light brown hair worn straight back and held
high in
a flowing tail by a ring of bone, a yellow leather
shirt
that was fringed all over, and a wide, yellow leather
SHARON
GREEN
34
breech
that was held close to her body by the thin string of
leather
knotted around her waist. Her legs and feet were
entirely
bare, but she didn't seem to be self-conscious
about
that, either.
"Once
you reach your destination, the best way in will
either
be found or devised by Kadrim Harra," Graythor
continued,
now sending everyone's eyes to the redheaded
boy.
"It will also be his job, with others of you, to guard
against
unexpected physical attack with weapons. Once
inside,
you will find many locks and closings which will
require
the talent of Soffann Dra to open; when she does,
Zail
T'Zannis will then be able to take the stone from its
remaining
safeguards. Laciel will take you all through the
dimensions
to reach your destination, as well as guard you
against
magic. Rikkan Addis will be in charge of the
expedition,
and will organize the efforts of the group as a
whole.
Tonight, after dinner, I'll give you what few details
I've
been able to gather, and you'll leave in the morning.
Are
there any questions?"
With
the promise of details to be given later, no one felt
me urge
to ask questions that might prove to be unneces-
sary.
Graythor nodded with satisfaction, then rose from his
chair.
"I'm
sure you could all use some time to rest and
refresh
yourselves before dinner," he said, raising one
hand.
"As each of you passes me, I'll attach a thread
which
you may follow to the room assigned to you. Just
go
through that doorway to the right, and up the stairs
you'll
find beyond it. If you need anything, ring for a
servant."
They
filed past him one at a time to get their threads,
then
trailed out of the room in the same individual way
they'd
sat in it. I followed them with the Sight until they
were
all upstairs, then turned back to look at Graythor.
The
wizard was sitting in his chair again, both hands over
his
face and eyes, and I couldn't keep quiet any longer.
"Now
that they're gone, I want the truth," I said, the
words
as harsh as I could make them. "I want to know
what
happened, and why you can't go after the stone
yourself."
"You've
grown since the last time I saw you, Laciel,"
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
35
he said
with a sigh. dropping his hands to send a benign,
light-eyed
gaze toward me. "You're much larger and pret-
tier
now, but not a millimeter more tolerant. I suppose
tolerance
comes with greater age than you've yet achieved."
"Tolerance
my—foot!" I snapped, running thin on pa-
tience
that hadn't been very thick to begin with, letting my
fists
find my hips. "It isn't possible for anyone to have
stolen
mat balance stone, and even more impossible for
anyone
to keep you from following to take it back. You're
the
strongest wizard alive, Graythor, except for those who
were
Protectors before you, and they don't count. Protec-
tors
are made incapable by the Tears themselves of touch-
ing the
Tears to do harm! There is no one who could keep
you
from reclaiming the stone, so why haven't you gone
yourself?"
"I
can't tell you," he said, and the way he looked
directly
at me showed a hint of the strength he was capable
of.
"There are things you're not yet ready to leam, young
lady,
and that's one of them. Since 1 know without a
single
doubt that if/ go I'll fail, you six will have to do me
job for
me. Are you afraid you won't be able to succeed?"
"This
is too important not to succeed," I answered with
me
scorn I felt, folding my arms in annoyance. "Unlike
you,
I'm convinced 1 could do it alone, which wouldn't be
a bad
idea. I have the sort of motivation you made sure to
remove
from the others. While I'll be picturing all the
untalented
people I know dying slowly in terror, they'll be
picturing
the same thing happening to nothing but a bunch
of
strangers."
"You
think I could have made them believe they were
striving
for their home dimensions?" he asked, those eyes
still
locked to me. "That might have been possible for a
short
time, but what would have happened once they
began
talking to each other and exchanging information?
They
all come from the same continent in their respective
dimensions;
what do you think would have happened when
they
found that the geography matched but nothing else did?
They're
not stupid, Laciel, and it wouldn't have taken
them
long to discover that they all came from different
places.
Once that happened, they'd begin to wonder what
36 SHARON GREEN
else
I'd lied to them about, and the expedition would start
falling
apart. Getting the stone back will take all of you—
despite
your own opinion to the contrary—and that means
keeping
you all together."
"You're
still hiding something, I can feel it," 1 mut-
tered,
trying to match the look 1 was getting. "And that
goes
beyond the questions you've flatly refused to answer.
And
what's this nonsense about that Rikkan Addis being
leader
of our expedition? Magic users lead expeditions,
and you
know it."
"Not
this time," he denied, shaking his head with just
the
hint of amusement behind his eyes- "There are too
many
components of that group who would refuse to
follow
you no matter how strong a sorceress you are, and I
can't
repeat often enough how important it is that the
group
stay together. Rikkan Addis is more than just a
natural
leader; I know you couldn't feel that part of his
talent
working because it didn't affect you, but it was his
belief
that the task needed doing that swayed the others.
He
doesn't just lead, he makes people follow, and that's
why
he's so valuable."
"So
that's why you were handling him so carefully," I
said,
my eyes narrowing as I thought about it. "You
knew if
you were able to convince him, die others would
follow
along. And if he thought you were lying, the others
would
believe the same. But that doesn't explain the mas-
querade.
If he finds out what you really look like, won't
he
consider that the same as lying?"
"Laciel,
girl, the—masquerade, as you call it, wasn't
done
for him," Graythor said with a sigh as he leaned
back in
his chair, but whether the sigh was one of weari-
ness or
exasperation, I couldn't tell. "It so happens that as
soon as
you stop pestering me, I'll be calling on Rikkan
Addis
to chat—and incidentally show him what I really look
like.
He already knows from your earlier comments that
this
isn't my true form, and I don't want him to begin
wondering."
"If
you didn't want him to begin wondering, you
shouldn't
have gotten involved with silly dress-up to begin
with,"
1 said, now knowing what his sigh had meant. "I
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
37
know
people have certain prejudices about wizards, but
that
doesn't mean you have to cater to them."
"If
you're asking them to risk their lives for you, mat's
exactly
what you do have to do," he said, the snap in his
voice
and sharpness in his eyes clear indications of how
close
to anger he was. He looked to his right and my left,
spoke
the words that were necessary, then joined me in
watching
the chairs that stood there change immediately
into a
tall, wide mirror in an intricate frame of gold. The
mirror
showed me just as I was, tall and slender, tanned
and violet-eyed
with long platinum hair, my pale rose shirt
and
light gold slacks loose enough to keep from emphasiz-
ing my
figure, my short, soft leather boots of gold more
for
comfort than durability. The image of me was clear
and
accurate, but so was the image of a still-seated
Graythor—which
didn't match the form in the chair. Beard-
less,
dark of hair and eye, sallow complexion, short, nar-
row,
bent just a little but still extremely competent-looking—
that
was the Graythor I knew, and the one I would have
recognized.
"Try
to imagine yourself one of the others, child," he
said
with less of the anger showing, the mirror-gesture 1
saw
reflecting me movement only just visible from me
corner
of my eye- "Your life has just been saved by
someone
who is a very powerful wizard, and in return for
saving
your life, he's asking you to risk it again on his
behalf.
People are strange, Laciel, and after you've lived
among
them for as long as I have, you'll leam that their
gratitude
for an important favor can quicldy turn to resent-
ment
over being forced into a position to need to return
that
favor. One of die most important points in that is just
exactly
who you owe the favor to—and now you're one of
mem and
looking at me as I really am. What do you see?"
"I
see—you," 1 answered, having no idea what he was
getting
at. "What else is there to see?"
"What
there is to see is that you've known me too
long,"
he said, for some reason with a pleased chuckle,
his
true image smiling the crooked smile I'd so enjoyed as
a
child. "What the others would see would be a mis-
shapen,
ugly little man who really shouldn't have been
accorded
the privilege of saving their lives, one who wasn't
38 SHARON GREEN
at all
up to deserving their gratitude. Consciously they
would
never want to feel that way, but deep inside, where
emotion
rules in place of thought, they would have no
choice.
My altered shape gave them nobility and wisdom
to
admire, size and strength to respect, power and age to
be in
awe of—and a tragic figure to sympathize with and
help.
My saving their lives is now incidental; what matters
most to
them at this point is that they have it within (heir
power
to help someone who would normally need no help,
but who
now requires their help. They're motivated, some-
thing
even an enslavement spell could not accomplish, and
they'll
see the job through to the end. All we have to take
care of
now is that single, important question buzzing
around
in your head."
"What
question?" I asked at once, looking at him
sharply—but
at the real him, the one in the mirror. "What
other
question do you think 1 have?"
"Laciel,
I've known you since you were a very little
giri,"
he said, the dark eyes in the mirror staring at me
with a
sober calm. "You did something foolish and nearly
died
for it, and now you're wondering if mat's the real
reason
you're not leading the expedition. You're also
wondering
what you'll, have to do to prove how capable of
leadership
you are after all, and that most likely before you
all
leave tomorrow. I'm telling you now that there's noth-
ing you
can—or had better—do to change the arrange-
ments
of this expedition as they stand, or you'll find
yourself
tied so fast and deep into an obedience spell that it
will
take you a year to See your way out of it. I need you
badly
for this task, but you cannot do it akme, and you
cannot
be me leader. Do you understand what I'm saying
to
you?"
"Of
course I understand," I answered with exasperated
impatience,
making no effort to avoid his eyes. If I couldn't
do
anything before we left then it would have to be after,
but one
way or another it had to be done. Magic users
were
the leaders of expeditions, and it would be stupid to
allow
any other precedent to be set. Besides, I knew I
would
make a better leader than that Rikkan Addis, espe-
cially
for so important an objective.
"Good,"
he said with a nod of satisfaction, raising one
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
39
hand in
a vanishing gesture to get rid of the mirror before
rising
from me seat. Without the mirror there was nothing
but his
altered form, which I had to look way up at. "I can
see now
there's a good deal of truth to the saying about
clouds
and silver linings," he observed with a smile as he
put one
giant but gentle hand to my face. "If I hadn't been
scanning
around in my search for members of the expedi-
tion, I
never would have come across your entry onto the
Plane
of Dreams—or known what was happening. If you'd
died I
would have missed you, Laciel; after all, who would
be left
then who would criticize me as you do?"
"Don't
worry. Uncle Graythor, I'll always be around to
criticize
you," 1 assured him pleasantly, recognizing the
teasing
even if the face and form weren't familiar. "Since
everyone
else is too afraid of you to do it, the job has to
be
mine."
"So
it does," he agreed with a chuckle, turning to lead
the way
out of the room. "Your accommodations are
marked
with a blue door, and you'll have no trouble
finding
mem. While you're resting you might consider
cutting
down some on all that courage you're so filled
with.
Where you're going, a bit of prudent cowardice will
likely
serve you better."
"That's
right, you did say you knew our ultimate desti-
nation,"
I realized aloud, looking'up at him again as we
walked.
"You make it sound like we have no chance
against
it, but if we had no chance at all, you'd be wasting
your
time and our lives by sending us. What's me name of
this
deadly-dangerous repository of stolen articles?"
"The
place you have to find an entrance into is called
Cloud's
Heart," he answered, bending a much less-benign
gaze on
me than he had a moment earlier. "Despite its
name it
is deadly dangerous, probably as much so as the
journey
you'll have getting there. I've never made me trip
myself,
but I've spoken to one or two who have, and
nothing
conceivable would ever get them to try it again. I
wish I
could send someone in your place, Laciel, but I
can't.
Just remember that, if—when you get there."
"But
where is it?" I asked, disturbed by the haunted
look in
the eyes that had left me. Graythor had stopped to
stare
straight ahead, and that bothered me more than any-
SHARON
GREEN
40
thing
he had said. He hesitated so long I thought he wasn't
going
to answer, and then he sighed with his gaze still held
by the
distance.
"It's
on the Far Side of Forever," he said in a whisper,
then
strode away so fast that I had no hope of catching up.
Not
that I felt like catching up. I just stood there for a
minute
staring at the giant mstic dining room he'd disap-
peared
through, then went looking for the accommodations
I
suddenly felt a lot of need for.
CHAPTER
2
The sun
wasn't up very high when I went outside the next
morning,
but there's something about sunlight after hours
and
hours of candlelight that makes you want to squint and
go back
indoors. Much as I would have enjoyed it I had no
time
for going back indoors, so 1 went instead to the group
of
hprses and people who waited in the middle of the
squarish,
rustic yard. Giant-sized, squarish, rustic yard.
Leave
it to Graythor to be consistent even outdoors.
'
"You look as though you had little in the way of rest,
girl,"
the redheaded Kadrim Harra remarked as I reached
for the
only unclaimed set of reins in sight, which tied a
big
gray to the hitching post the boy stood beside. His own
mount
was an even bigger golden palamino, and the stal-
lion
danced with excess energy and an eagerness to be
away.
The other four were involved in a discussion which
seemed
to be centered around Soffann Dra, which some-
how
wasn't very surprising.
"1
had no rest at all," I told the boy without looking at
him,
getting more enjoyment out of the sight of the beauti-
ful
gray horse that was to be mine for a while. He snorted
softly
with pleasure when he saw he wasn't to go un-
claimed
after all, and lowered his nose so that I might
stroke
it. "I'll catch up on what I need when we stop
tonight."
"When
we left one another after the discussion last
darkness,
we were all bidden to rest ourselves well," the
41
SHARON
GREEN
42
boy
said from my left, his deep voice beginning to fill with
disapproval
again. "Though you gave the wizard little of
the
respect due him with your words, surely you were not
so
foolish as to disobey his commands as well? We mean
to ride
far and hard this day, and one who is weary will
have
difficulty in keeping up."
"You're
worrying about my being able to keep up?" I
asked
with a snort of ridicule, finally turning my head to
look at
him. "If I were you, little boy, I'd spend my time
worrying
about myself instead of the adults around me,
especially
an adult who also happens to be a sorceress.
And if
I'd wasted my time sleeping instead of learning the
spells
Graythor wanted me to leam, there might have come
a time
when you and the others had trouble keeping up
with
life. Aren't we ready to leave yet?"
By the
end of my speech he was blinking at me with
surprise
and a very becoming silence, then turned to see,
as I
already had, mat our four companions had ended their
discussion
in favor of mounting. Before he could turn back
to me I
walked the few steps to the gray's side, got my left
foot
into the stirrup, then pulled myself up to the saddle.
The
gray waited until I was firmly seated with both feet in
the
closed stirrups before beginning to dance like me
palamino,
and that left only the boy who wasn't ready to
go. For
some reason he grinned up at me with a lot of
amusement
before turning to his own mount and leaping
onto
the giant beast without using the stirrups at all. The
only
thing he'd used to help him had been his hands on the
pommel,
but before he could start bragging about how
athletic
he was. a different voice came to us across the
yard.
"It's
true!" Soffann Dra exclaimed in delight from
where
she cantered slowly around us, left hand on reins,
back
straight but easy, wide-skirted green gown spread out
over
the saddle of her beautiful white horse. "He's really
done
it! I've never so much as been on a horse before, but
I can
ride as though I've done it all my life! The wizard
has
given me the ability to ride!"
Zail
T'Zannis and Rikkan Addis grinned at the girl's
delight
and enthusiasm, but Targa Emmen Su Daylath was
too
distracted to do more than smile. The big woman's
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
43
attention
kept being drawn to the road leading out of the
yard,
and a minute later she was following that road on the
big
paint horse she sat with accustomed ease. Soffann Dra
quickly
followed after her with the clear intention of catch-
ing up,
which drew the two men in her wake. Since it was
clear
Graythor wasn't going to be coming out for any last
good-byes
I took my own turn at following, and the red-
headed
boy brought up the rear.
The
gray's gait was smooth and easy, his response
immediate
to the lightest touch of my heel, the least
movement
of the reins. We moved up the road in ground-
eating
strides, the early morning sparkling around us,
Graythor's
giant-house shrinking into the distance. To ei-
ther
side of the road were green and flowered fields for at
least a
mile, with nothing but trees rising in the near and
far
distance, nothing of houses even of normal size. The
air was
still comfortably cool that early in the day, but I
could
feel that once the sun rose higher the heat would do
the
same. The road was heading us toward woods which
would
surely help for a while, but the woods were unlikely
to last
forever.
"You
must forgive me, lady, for having spoken to you
as I
did," a voice came fronnny right, deep and smooth
and at
least trying to be conciliatory. "I had not realized
that
your weariness came from laboring on our behalf, and
I would
offer my apologies for having given you insult."
The
red-haired Kadrim Harra had brought his palamino
up
beside my gray, and he really did seem to be sorry for
what
he'd said. I glanced over at him where he sat his
mount
looking down at me, and simply shook my head.
"I
wasn't insulted," I grudged, wishing I could find
more
pleasure in the beautiful day all around us. "It's just
that
this quest is so important to me, so important to
everyone
of this world—I'll do anything I have to to see
that it
turns out right, and losing a night's sleep is so
unimportant
an anything—1 didn't mean to imply that you
weren't
one of us because you're not as old as we are—
You're
not really all that young—"
My
stumbling explanation finally ran out of steam, just
as it
usually did when I tried to tell people why I'd done as
I had.
I couldn't quite understand why 1 was bothering to
44
SHARON
GREEN
explain
things to a boy who was probably too young to
comprehend
what I was saying, but rather than looking
blank,
another glance showed him smiling.
"Your
concern is natural and understandable," he said
in a
way that was supposed to be soothing, his tone
brushing
aside any insult on his part. "Were it my people
who
were in jeopardy, I, too, would be difficult to speak
with.
Have you any further knowledge of the worlds to be
traveled
through than that which was given us by the
wizard?"
"Unfortunately,
no," I answered, watching a small flight
of
birds lazing through the early morning air. "There are
too
many gates and too many choices at each gate for any
one
person to know them all, even if they've lived as long
as
Graythor has. I haven't lived nearly as long, and don't
even
know me two worlds he was sure of. I can see I
should
have traveled more."
"Even
should one attempt to live one's life anticipating
difficulties,
one would still be caught by the surprise of the
unanticipated,"
he said, those steady blue eyes putting
surprising
weight behind the statement. "Your power is
meant
to guard and assist us through these worlds, a thing
we are
sure to find of great benefit, yet are those of my
own
world largely unfamiliar with me doings of magic.
What
are these—spells—which were taught you through
the
darkness, and in what manner will they be of aid to
us?"
"What
I learned was a special group of protective spells
designed
to guard us from magical attack," I explained,
privately
wondering how anyone anywhere could be unfa-
miliar
with magic. "One of the spells creates a large.
invisible
sphere around us which will keep anything of a
magical
nature out. Another of the spells builds a wall of
the
same kind, a third a platform which will also raise us
into
the air, and the rest are of the same sort. For anything
nonmagical
in nature, I already have the necessary de-
fenses.
What took so long was memorizing the details of
spells
mat work against other spells, which means I'm
practically
working without the Sight. I won't be able to
See if
I'm constructing them properly against what's com-
ing at
us, so I can't afford to forget the least little—"
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
45
The
frown on his face made me break off the explana-
tion,
telling me it wasn't explaining anything at all to him.
Just
what part he wasn't getting was another question,
though,
as I found out when he shook his head.
"1
have no knowledge of what sight you speak of, nor
do I
understand what difference there might be between
spells,"
he said, looking as though not understanding
annoyed
him- "Are you able to say in what manner /
would
need to labor in order to leam what you have?"
"But
you couldn't leam it, not unless you had the
Sight,"
I protested with a laugh, then understood how
much he
was actually missing. "Maybe I'd better start
from
the very beginning, and explain it to you that way.
People
are born either with the Sight or without it, and if
they're
without it they can never learn to do magic no
matter
how hard they try. You can't have just a little bit of
the
Sight, you either have it or you don't. Are you with me
so
far?"
His nod
was definite despite his silence, and for some
reason
I had the feeling that he was keeping himself from
making
a comment. That unwavering blue gaze seemed to
be just
a little put out, but I couldn't imagine why.
"Now,
if you have the Sigh^you have the ability to do
magic,
but the keys to real power are how much strength
you can
bring to bear, and how complete your control is of
the
things around you. If we were standing together some-
where
and you began to walk away when I didn't want you
to, I
could reach out a hand to grab your sleeve to stop you
physically.
How well I did stopping you would depend on
how
good a grip I had on your sleeve; a light or badly
placed
grip would be one you could pull away from, but a
strong,
full, sure grip would keep you from getting very
far.
Have you got that?"
"indeed,"
he said with a faint smile, and then the smile
widened.
"And yet do I believe that my halting would
require
one with hands less slender and considerably more
powerful
than yours. Even had I a sleeve which might be
grasped."
"That
was just an example," I told him patiently, half
expecting
his remark. Boys always have to be so—ignorant—
about
everything. "With magic, the way to get a firm,
46
SHARON GREEN
sure
grip on something is to See it clearly and in detail, the
more
detail, the better the grip. At the same time you must
describe
what you're Seeing, since it's that description and
the
strength you exert mat gives you power over what you
See. If
someone has a red hat, people without the Sight
will
see nothing but a red hat; people with the Sight,
however,
will See the exact shade of that color, me exact
shape
of die hat itself, the thickness of the material the
thing
was made from, the strands or layers involved, all
the way
down to the smallest mote mat's a part of that hat.
Seeing
it lets them describe it, and describing it gives
mem
power over it. Spells are the verbal description of
what
someone with the Sight Sees."
"These
spells, then, must be complex indeed," he said,
back to
frowning in an attempt to understand. "Even to
describe
what / am able to see of a thing would be
complex,
and never have I been able to see to the core of
an
object."
"Not
all spells are that complex," 1 corrected, pleas-
antly
surprised that he seemed to be following my explana-
tion.
"If the details needing to be described had to be
spoken
in this language, it would take hours simply to
describe
enough of that red hat just to lift it in the air. The
language
used for spells is sort of a—short-cut code, I
suppose
you might say—that lets you describe hours' worth
of
detail in only one or two words. If I wanted to change
that
hat instead of simply lifting it, my description of it
would
have to be a lot more detailed so that I had more
power
over it. A spell like that could run five or six words,
depending
on just what change I wanted to make. And, of
course,
some descriptions can be added to with gestures
rather
than words. There are a lot of different getures, all
standing
for different things, and that's where the old
saying
comes from. You know. the one that goes, 'One
gesture
is worth a thousand words.' "
"That
adage is more familiar to me in another form,"
he
muttered, clearly trying to decide whether or not to be
impressed.
His big hand rubbed at his face as his mind
worked
behind distracted eyes, and men his attention was
mine
again. "Then all those with the—the Sight—have
power
over that which is about them. Why is it, then, that
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
47
some
have more power than others? For what reason was it
necessary
that you leam—spells—from the wizard which
your
own—Sight—should have found it possible to give
you?"
"I
think I'll answer the first part of your question
first,"
I said with a smile, really pleased with how bright
he was.
He was having trouble with unfamiliar phrases,
but he
wasn't using them wrong. "Some with the Sight
have
more power than others for a variety of reasons, one
of
which is how long they've lived. The longer you study
it, the
easier the language of spells becomes, and the easier
it
becomes, the more power you can exert over what
happens
to be around you. Also, you've learned to See
things
in greater and greater detail, which gives you more
to
describe, which in turn gives you more power over
them.
You have to leam how to look at things, you know.
in
magic as well as in anything else. To someone who
didn't
know about hats, our red hat would be nothing but a
red
hat. To a maker of hats, though, it would be of such
and
such a style, that color and this shape, individually
dyed or
batch dyed, stitched or woven, made by someone
with
skill or without, old and well worn or new and
unfaded-
There's so much to know about things that the
amount
is incredible, and some people with the Sight are
too
lazy to leam it all. That's where a lot of them run into
trouble.''
"I
do believe I would dislike trouble of that sort," he
said, a
reluctant but definite admission. "Of what does
their
dereliction consist?"
"Well,
some of them tend to be the sort to believe that
any
hold at all on a sleeve is enough to stop the person
wearing
the sleeve," I said. "They describe as little of the
thing
they're looking at as possible, exerting only a tenu-
ous
hold over it, then try to make it do what they want.
Sometimes
they're successful, usually they're only half
successful,
and sometimes it doesn't work at all. They're
the
ones who are too lazy to really leam me language of
spells,
but mere are some who don't have the brains for it.
All the
stupid ones can do is leam one or two very simple
spells,
and then spend the rest of their lives coasting on the
reputation
of being a witch or a magician. The real trouble
48 SHARON GREEN
comes
when one of the stupid or lazy tries to do something
beyond
them. They establish a weak or useless hold on
some
dangerous entry, for example, then either get sucked
into it
or let out things that don't get along with our kind
of
life. It's pure hell getting a mess like that straightened
out
again, especially if they happen to get sucked in and
leave
the entry behind them. People without the Sight
can't
See the entry, and end up getting sucked in right
behind
the bungler."
"To
disappear forever from the world they know," he
said
with a shudder he made no attempt to hide. "Truly is
there a
dark side to this thing called magic."
"Only
if you go at it stupidly," I said, looking around
at the
cool, green woods we were just entering. "There are
some
people, without the Sight, who make a wrong dis-
tinction
between white magic and black magic. They don't
understand
that the Sighted arc otherwise no different from
me
unSighted, some bright, some stupid, some decent and
some
warped by something inside them. What the warped
try to
do is use magic to advance themselves according to
their
own peculiar values, but they try to do it in a way
that
doesn't match reality. They See what me rest of us
See,
but the vision doesn't suit them so they try to tell
themselves
they're Seeing something else. When they be-
gin
describing that something else in a spell, the spell and
me
reality don't quite match up, but they're using very
precise
language that brings them a lot of power. We've
discovered
that that power—changes—the reality of what
the
warped one is looking at, but not the way normal magic
changes
things. To change something into something else
is
easy, but only if you have a sure grasp of what that
something
is to begin with; you're accepting its reality and
working
from there. To alter that reality to begin with is
not
black magic but something else entirely, and the sub-
stance
for the change has to come from somewhere other
than
thin air. The only place for the substance to come
from is
the warped one's own body, and that's where it
does
come from. They force reality to change to their view
of it,
but pay a terrible price for the accomplishment.
Every
use of that kind of power diminishes them, but most
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
49
of them
won't admit it until mere isn't enough left of them
to
save."
We were
both silent for a while after that, the darker
woods a
fitting backdrop for the dark subject we'd been
discussing,
the happy chirps and squawks and chitterings
all
around both incongruous and at the same time warm-
ing.
Physical dark can never be as bad as the dark of the
mind,
and after the while passed Kadrim Harra took a deep
breath
of the sweet air we rode through.
"And
the spells which you spent me darkness learn-
ing?"
he said, bringing his attention back to me. "As
spells
are merely descriptions of that which you see, for
what
reason did you need to leam of what is not yet before
you?"
"The
purpose of speaking a spelt is to gather power
over
the thing you're describing," I said slowly, trying to
keep
from confusing him. "If I can See something I can
describe
it in the language of spells, and if I speak the
spell I
have power over it. The problem is, although I can
feel
the power someone has or has used by speaking a
spell,
I can't See the spell itself—at least, not most spells.
If I
can't See a spell sent to attack us, I can't defend
against
it, nor can even the strongest wizard alive. The
only
thing i can do is leam certain general defensive
spells,
which describe conditions rather than solid objects.
Developing
those spells took a lot of time and a lot of
dangerous
work by very powerful wizards, and they must
be
learned exactly right or they won't work—or, worse
than
that, they'll work wrong. I could build us a house in
the
middle of these woods right now without any trouble at
all,
but I've Seen houses and can speak the spell without
the
least danger. UnSeen spheres and platforms and things
are
another matter entirely, so you can be sure I won't use
those
spells unless I absolutely have to."
"A
wise precaution," he agreed with a distracted nod,
again
thinking about what he'd been told. "No man of
sense
will use an untried and undependable weapon, save
that
his life hinges upon that use. These spells of protec-
tion
which were taught you—the wizard spoke them to you
so that
you would know them? Over and over till they
were
yours?"
SHARON
OREEN
50
"Of
course not," I answered with a laugh, seeing it
would
take some time before he absorbed all the details of
what
magic was about. "If Graythor had spoken the spells
he
would have invoked them, and then we would have
spent
the night surrounded by invisible spheres and walls
and
platforms. He had me leam them from his red
Grimoire."
The
blank look I got then made me feel annoyed with
myself,
mainly for forgetting how little he knew about
magic,
but also for the tiredness that was weighing me
down.
I'd need to gather strength and alertness before the
morning
was even half over, something I hadn't thought
would
be necessary quite so soon. Maybe I was getting to
be
older than I thought.
"A
Grimoire is a book of spells, and each wizard puts
together
his or her own," I explained, tossing my head to
get the
hair back over my shoulders. "Some of them are
like
Graythor's, simply written in the language of spells to
be used
by anyone with the Sight, but some are more
involved-
Spells that are written down deal with things that
can't be
Seen, and not all wizards are willing to share the
work of
decades with anyone who comes along. Those
wizards
disguise their spells to look like this language
rather
man the language of spells, and need a key before
they
can be read as spells. Those are usually also red
Grimoires,
but sometimes the same is done for safety
purposes
with black Grimoires."
Again
the blank look, but this time I was expecting it.
Maybe
it was lack of sleep rather than age after all.
"There
are two kinds of spells concerning the unSeen,"
I said,
this time consciously noticing that the two men
ahead
of us were glancing back to make sure we were still
with
the group. Rikkan Addis had done that a few times
before,
but then he did still consider himself leader of our
expedition.
"The first set of spells are like the ones I've
learned,
ones that have been developed and made reason-
ably
safe by wizards of power, spells that will work right
if
they're spoken right. The second kind of written spells
are
ones that aren't safe at all, ones that are speculation
and
have never been tried, ones that are tried but for some
reason
don't always do what they're supposed to, and ones
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
51
that
seem absolutely simple and safe, but will kill or erase
anyone
who uses mem. Spells like that are black magic,
and are
kept in black Grimoires, to let everyone know
what
they are, and to be in a handy place where they can
be
studied and tinkered with by any wizard who's grown
tired
of living. I don't ever expect to get that tired of
living."
"Nor
I,*' he said with a chuckle, also having noticed
the
attention from ahead, but making no effort to hurry us
into
closing the gap we'd let grow. "Life, I believe, is
meant
to be filled with enjoyment till it ends of its own
self.
At dinner last darkness, the wizard disallowed discus-
sion
upon the point of our former lives. Think you he
meant
the ban to continue for all of this journey?"
"If
that's what he'd wanted, he would have said so," I
answered
with a shrug, wondering why he would ask that,
"Or
he would have used a spell to be sure no one could
talk
about themselves. Is there something about yourself
that
you wanted to say?"
"At
the moment, no more man that 1 am a king in my
own
world," he said, his smile faint beneath those steady
blue
eyes. "It was you I wished to speak of, to learn what 1
might
of one who deals so easily with that which others
are
unable to touch. Surely the power comes to you more
swiftly
and easily than to others."
"The
power only comes to those who work hard for it,"
I said
with just a small sound of ridicule, remembering he
didn't
really know about magic. "I've spent the last ten
years
slaving away studying with my foster mother, who
was a
wizard long before she ever found me. A wizard and
a
slavedriver, but if there's one particular reason I'm a
sorceress
now, she's it. She didn't have to take me time
away
from her own studies but she did, and always let me
know
how much she enjoyed it and how proud she was of
me. I
owe her more than I'll ever be able to repay."
"She
must truly be a great woman," he said, somehow
sounding
as though he, a boy, was giving her, a wizard,
an
approval she might not ordinarily be entitled to. "You
say
that she is your foster mother, and that you were a
foundling?
Who, then, are the people of your blood?"
*'It
would be interesting to know," I muttered, moving
SHARON
GREEN
52
my eyes
to the long gray mane bobbing in front of my
hands.
"My earliest memory is of the streets of Geddenburg,
sleeping
in deserted shacks, eating garbage, and begging
coppers
with me rest of the kids who lived in the alley-
ways
with me. I spent years among the street folk, eventu-
ally
moving up, like all the others in our pack, to stealing,
but I
wasn't very good at it. Morgiana caught me with a
hand in
her purse, tripped me with a spell before I could
run far
enough to lose myself in the crowds or alleys, then
dragged
me home with her. She'd known immediately
that I
was one of the Sighted, and wasn't about to let me
disappear
back into the gutter. As close as she could tell I
was
about twelve years old then, tall and thin and raggedy
and
filthy, and stubborn as a brick wall. I've always
wondered
where she found the patience to put up with
me."
"Clearly
she was able to see the woman you would
become,"
he said in a way mat let me know those eyes
were
still on me. "Tall and slender, well-shaped and
lovely,
strong as well as powerful. Had 1 a sleeve, perhaps
I would
not escape as easily as 1 had thought."
"Oh,
sure, lovely," I repeated sourly, reaching a hand
out to
stroke the gray mane I still stared at. "With straw-
white
hair and stupid-colored eyes and taller than almost
any
other woman except Targa Emmen Su Daylath. That
was one
of the reasons 1 was such a failure as a thief. A
good
thief is more like a ghost, never noticed by the target
or
mark, but how could anyone miss someone who looks
the way
I do? If I weren't so stubborn 1 would have
changed
myself years ago to something more normal, but I
don't
want to do that. Looking like something else wouldn't
be
me."
"And
we must each of us be ourselves," he agreed, his
voice
now a murmur. "I am honored that you would speak
to me
so, sharing things which surely continue to give you
pain.
Perhaps later I, too, will share a thing which is not
easily
put into words."
"Only
if you want to," I said, finally looking at him
again.
"You're very easy to talk to, but 1 don't happen to
have
that talent and I know it. And I'm also very tired and
probably
have talked too much. All my closest friends in
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
53
the
pack were male, but I haven't had a male friend since.
You
don't mind being friends with someone older than
you, do
you?"
"No,
it would please me if we were friends," he said
with a
sigh and the oddest smile, one mat made me think
that
for some reason he was laughing at himself. "One is
never
able to have too many friends." He paused a mo-
ment
then said, "What of suitors? You have said naught of
them,
yet surely there are many men who came to pay you
court?
You speak of yourself with odd disapproval, yet a
man
would need to be blind to see you as anything other
than
lovely."
"You
sound like Morgiana," I told him, making a face
at the
nonsense he was trying to get me to believe. "If you
mink
you like me way 1 look, it's only because we've
decided
to be friends- She says it because she loves me,
and
love does weird things even to the Sight. And no, our
doors
haven't been broken down by droves of love-crazed
men
coming to beg for my hand. Oh, I guess a few
sorcerers
and one or two wizards have come calling the
last
few years, but Morgiana didn't like them any more
than 1
did, and there must have been something wrong
with
them if they were coming after me. But what about
you?
You must have had hundreds of girlfriends back in
your
own world, especially if you're a king."
"Indeed,
I have had all the women I could desire," he
said,
his smile widening to a grin. "Few as friends, yet
did 1
nevertheless find the time most pleasant. Many fe-
males
seem to desire a king no matter the other qualities he
may or
may not possess. Afterward, they, too, were
pleased."
"Well,
I know what's going to please me," I said,
glancing
ahead to make sure we were still far enough back
before
looking straight at him. "If I tell you something,
will
you keep it just between us?"
"You
would now share a secret," he said with another
sigh,
the grin having gone elsewhere- "Perhaps, after that,
/ would
do well to speak more plainly- For the moment,
you
have my word that I will not repeat whatever is told
me.
What is it you would have me know?"
"Just
mis," 1 said, deciding 1 didn't have the time to
54
SHARON
GREEN
figure
out whatever he was talking about. "I've already
mentioned
how important this quest is to me, so when I
say
I've decided to make sure it's run right, you won't be
surprised.
As soon as we pass through the first gate I'm
going
to take over as leader, and I want you to be my
second
in command.''
"You?"
he said, blinking at me with the sort of incom-
prehension
he hadn't shown even when 1 was explaining
about
magic. "Our leader? Has the wizard not said that the
man
with glowing eyes is to be our leader? How do you
mean to
convince ..."
"Convince
nothing," 1 interrupted, gesturing aside his
objections-
"Once I announce the change, he can either go
along
with it or go back where he came from. Even if he
didn't
agree, how could he stop me? Besides, I have
experience
leading, and who knows how much he has? I
was
leader of our street pack for almost two years before
Morgiana
found me, and I made a damned good leader.
And
wouldn't you rather be second in command instead of
just
another member of the expedition?"
"At
various times in his life, a man fmds me offer of
position
tempting," he allowed with a nod and a very
bland
look that somehow seemed to be covering amuse-
ment.
"There is still, however, the matter of the wishes of
a
wizard to consider. And this Rikkan Addis himself.
Should
he leave us, we would be lacking his abilities when
we
arrived at our destination. Would you see our quest
jeopardized
through the lack of some necessary talent?"
"But
that's just the point," I urged, determined to get
him off
the fence. "All of us have specific talents but him;
he
isn't supposed to do anything but lead- Under normal
circumstances
/ would have been the natural choice for
leader,
but Graythor was given reason to doubt me. i don't
blame
him for that doubt, but 1 also don't have the time to
prove
to him how wrong he is. All 1 can do is what I know
is
right."
"But
what of the physical defense of our group?*' he
asked,
the supposedly neutral question still keeping him
seated
firmly where he had been. "Zail T'Zannis, Rikkan
Addis
and I have been made responsible for our physical
defense,
with Targa Emmen Su Daylath to assist us should
THE PAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
55
it
become necessary. It would not benefit us to lose one of
our
swordanns."
I
looked ahead to see again the swords worn by the two
men and
the big woman, not to mention the wide slab of
edged
metal hanging sheathed between Kadrim Harra and
myself.
They all wore the weapons as if they were a part
of
them, but that couldn't be as important as the boy
thought
it was.
"Magic
is better than a sword any day," I assured him,
speaking
with all the confidence I felt. "And there's al-
ways
the chance that he won't leave the group once he's
replaced
anyway. Now, what do you say? Are you with
me?"
"1—must
have some time to consider the thing," he
hedged,
me mind behind those blue eyes working fast. "I
shall
come to you when we have halted for the darkness,
and we
may continue the discussion then. Is this accept-
able to
you, lady?"
"1
suppose so," I grudged with a sigh, knowing 1
wasn't
about to get a commitment out of him right then
even if
we kept talking for the rest of the morning. "And
you
don't have to call me 'lady'. My name is Laciel."
"A
lovely name for a lovely woman," he said, really in
a hurry
to change subjects. "It would please me to have
you
call me Kadrim. Have you no other names to go with
the
one, Laciel? A woman such as you should have many
names
for a man to put his lips upon."
"Those
with the Sight usually use only one name," 1
explained
with no more than partial attention to what I was
saying,
already being distracted by the consideration of
what
time would be best for the takeover. "There's a
heavy
link between people and their names, so if you
know
their real names you have considerably more power
over
them. The Sighted all have use names, chosen for
them by
someone else to cut down on possible affinity-
choices,
and those are the names they're known by.
Morgiana
chose Lay-see-el, and I can't think of a name I'd
dislike
more."
"Yes,
it would definitely be wisest waiting for the
darkness,"
he muttered, for some reason back to sighing. 1
56 SHARON GREEN
couldn't
imagine why he kept making such strange com-
ments,
but at that point I had other things to think about.
The
woods we rode through lasted until the sun had
climbed
a good deal higher in the sky, and then they
deserted
us. Beyond was a wider road leading between
broad,
cultivated fields, and by that time Kadrim and I
were
riding considerably closer to the rest of the group.
Targa
Emmen Su Daylath was still in the lead with Soffann
Dra
half a length behind her, Zail T'Zannis beside Soffann
Dra,
and Rikkan Addis alone just behind them. He'd
looked
over his shoulder one last time when Kadrim and I
had
finally caught up, a curious expression in those bronze
eyes
when they touched the redheaded boy, and after that
he
hadn't bothered looking back again. It occurred to me
that he
might be considering Kadrim a possible rival for
his new
position, which just goes to show how wrong you
can be
if you really work at it.
It
wasn't quite noon when we reached the town, in the
middle
of lots of other traffic, both vehicular and foot.
Wagons
and people on horseback and even more people on
shank's
mare were converging on the meadow that stretched
wide
and crowded in front of the town, and everyone was
laughing
and joking in the true holiday spirit. Tents and
booths
and wagons were spread out all over the meadow,
tinny-sounding
bands were playing, conversation, barter-
ing and
come-ons sounded everywhere from the growing
crowds,
and the previously fresh air was heavy with the
smells
of animals, people, food, leather goods, newly
worked
metal, you name it. The town was having a fair,
and
everyone from fifty miles around or more must have
come to
enjoy it.
"Oh,
I wonder what jewelry and silks they're show-
ing,"
Soffann Dra exclaimed, leaning up in her stirrups to
see if
anything was visible from where we'd stopped be-
side
the road. From the fact that those hours of riding
hadn't
affected her any more than it had the rest of us, I
could
see that Graythor had given her more than simple
horsemanship
ability.
"We'll
just be stopping for a meal and a short rest."
Rikkan
Addis said as he looked around, his tone distracted
and
very faintly unsure. "We might even be best off
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
57
continuing
on to the inn on the other side of this town that
the
wizard told me about. Wandering around in a crowd
this
size doesn't strike me as a very good idea."
"But
the people at the inn are probably all here,"
Soffann
Dra protested with a pretty pout, moving her
white
horse closer to the man's roan. "Please, Rik, just
for a
little while, it won't hurt anything. Won't you say
yes for
me?"
When
she batted her long, dark lashes his way she was
almost
close enough to knock him off his horse, and
probably
would have if he hadn't been that much bigger
than
she. When he didn't answer immediately it was most
likely
concussion that kept him silent, and that gave Zail
T'Zannis
a chance to jump in.
"It
might be a good idea at that, Rik," he urged, faint
amusement
in his gray eyes. "I don't know about the rest
of you,
but I think I'd like to get a closer look at the
people
we'll be trying to help. Bring it away from the
idealistic
and down to the personal, so to speak."
"We
don't have that much time, but I suppose it'll be
all right,"
Rikkan Addis gave in with a sigh, opting for
reasonable
instead of stubborn. "Let's find a place to
leave
the horses." ^
He and
the others began looking around for a good spot
that
would be out of the way, but they weren't likely to
find
one unless they went into the town itself. At first I
hadn't
wanted to take the lime to stop at the fair, but Zail
T'Zannis'
request had given me an urge of my own. Just
in case
the unthinkable happened, I needed one last happy
time
among the people of my world-
"Everyone
bring their horses over to that tree," I said,
pointing
to a tall, lonesome specimen that stood about fifty
feet to
the right of the road, on the side opposite the fair
meadow.
"We can leave the horses right there."
"All
tied to that one tree?" Zail T'Zannis asked with a
laugh,
mis time giving me those gray eyes. "Right where
anyone
coming by can walk off with them? If we leave
them
there, one of us will have to stay to guard them."
"Don't
worry, Zail, I'll stay with them," Rikkan Addis
said,
finally giving up on looking around. "There isn't any
58
SHARON GREEN
place
better, not unless we go into the town. Just remem-
ber to
bring something back for me to eat."
"What
noble sacrifice," I commented, backing my gray
out of
the press of other horse bodies before turning to-
ward
the tree. "If you'll all quit criticizing, complaining
or
volunteering and just follow me, you'll fmd mat no one
has to
stay behind."
A
puzzled silence followed along with them, especially
when I
told them not to tie their mounts in what would
have
proved to be a very restricted area for such big
horses.
Once we were all dismounted I had them move
back,
then looked at the area surrounding the tree and
horses.
As soon as I decided what size I wanted it to be, I
raised
my right hand and spoke the two words necessary to
get it
done. The silence behind me was suddenly filled
with
startled exclamations, and when I turned to my five
companions
they were dividing their stare between me and
me
tree.
"They're
gone!" Soffann Dra exclaimed, looking less
than
pleased with that. "I loved that horse, and now he's
gone!
What have you done with him?"
"He's
right mere behind the fence," I answered with a
good
deal less excitement, glancing over at her. "Would
you
prefer being inside with him to visiting me fair?"
"I
don't see a fence," she protested, this time without
the
exclamation points, her hands flat to the middle of her
pretty
green gown, her eyes wider than they had been.
"And
neither will anyone else," Rikkan Addis said
with
satisfaction, his bronze-colored eyes glowing very
faintly.
"I can see your magic is going to come in handier
than
I'd expected, giri."
"There
is something here I do not grasp," Kadrim said
thoughtfully,
just in time to keep me from putting another
fence
around Rikkan Addis. My magic was likely to come
in
handier than he had expected?
"1
can't imagine what you could be missing, my friend,"
Zail
T'Zannis said to Kadrim with a grin while I glared at
Rikkan
Addis, who never noticed a damned thing. "First
the
horses are there, and now they've disappeared. Noth-
ing
simpler."
"The
horses haven't disappeared," I said for what felt
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
59
like
the thirtieth time, moving part of my glare to the
curly-haired
Zail T'Zannis. "I just put a fence around
them,
to keep mem in and other people out. You're not
really
seeing the tree through the fence, only an image of
it, and
I've added a 'Keep Out' sign that will make people
walk
around it rather than blunder into it. Don't any of you
know
anything about magic?"
"You
know how meager my own knowledge upon the
subject
is," Kadrim said smoothly while Zail T'Zannis at
least
had the grace to look uncomfortable. "I had thought I
now
possessed a partial understanding of me thing, yet is
this
cleariy not so. You had said, I thought, that you
would
hesitate to use spells for the unseen, yet now you
have
done so with no difficulty and less reluctance. I
would
know from where my confusion arises."
"It
arises from your definition of 'unSeen'," I told him,
looking
up into those steady blue eyes instead of into all
the
rest of the eyes on me. "Invisible and unSeen are two
different
things, and what you're looking at now—or,
rather,
not looking at—is simply invisible. My spell built a
fence
just like any other fence, except for the fact that it
can't
be seen. Ail I did was leave the outer physical
appearance
of 'fence' out of4ny description, so everything
appeared
but its appearance. I hww what the fence looks
like,
so it isn't 'unSeen'. 'UnSeen' has no physical appear-
ance to
begin with, which is what makes it so hard to
handle."
Kadrim
was frowning while his mind wrestled with
what
he'd been told, but his expression was the mildest of
the
five. Soffann Dra looked totally bewildered and lost,
Targa
Emmen Su Daylath was sighing and shaking her
head,
Zail T'Zannis was hitting his temple with the heel of
his
hand—as though he thought something had gone wrong
with
his hearing—and Rikkan Addis was looking around
impatiently.
Our fearless leader didn't seem to be very
impressed,
and his next words proved it.
"I
think we'd better get on to finding some food," he
said,
garnering everyone along with a gesture as he turned
back
toward the road. "The horses will be safe until we
come
back for them, and the lectures can wait until we're
on our
way again. All of you stay as close as possible to
6o
SHARON GREEN
me, we
don't want to get separated in the crowds. The
wizard
gave me enough gold to feed us on a regular basis,
so
let's start using some of it."
"So
let's start using some of it," 1 mimicked softly at
their
retreating backs, watching them all heading toward
the
road and the fair excitement beyond. "Lectures can
wait
until later. Stay as close to me as possible." He
wasn't
the expedition leader he was the Daddy, and even
Kadrim
was old enough to get along without that. When I
took
over, we'd all be even better off than I'd thought.
I
trailed along after them into the eager, jostling crowds,
but
after a minute or two made no effort to keep up. When
I
wanted to find them I'd have no trouble doing it, and
they
certainly couldn't ride off and leave me. The sun was
high
and hot enough to be uncomfortable, the crowds were
thick
enough and close enough to compound that, and
despite
the strength I'd gathered to me with a revitalizing
spell,
I could still feel a shadow of tiredness; none of that
made
any difference, however, in the face of the holiday
feeling
I was catching from everyone around me. It had to
be more
than two years since I'd last been to a fair, and I'd
loved
them even when I was little and couldn't afford to
buy
anything. Everyone was always so happy there, and it
felt as
if all the people in the world were gathered in that
one
place to have fun.
The
rush of the crowd carried me with it for a little way,
and
then people began moving off in different directions,
men
pointing things out to the women with them, kids
tugging
at their parents in an effort to make them hurry,
women
entranced by the sight of things they'd love to have
and
towing chuckling men behind by the hand. Food
smells
competed with one another in the heavy air, and
hawkers
shouted at the crowds to get mem over to the
booths
and buying. Clowns ran in and out of the thinner
crowds,
fighting with one another and making people laugh,
urging
them to come to their show later and then skipping
off. I
was doing no more than strolling around, drinking it
all in,
and then I saw one exhibition that drew me to it.
Outside
a big black tent with silver stars and moons on
it
stood a tall man with a black beard, wearing a long,
wide-sleeved
dark blue robe and a tall, pointed hat, both
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 61
decorated
like the tent. The man was holding a wand and
talking
to the people who had paused in front of his tent,
watching
them as they watched the three-legged brazier
standing
to his right. A thick bed of coats glowed red in
the
brazier, and just above me coals lazed a wide flame
with
two very black eyes. The eyes looked up at the
people
staring down at them, and when they shifted from
one
face to the next, people gasped.
"Don't
understand what that's supposed to be," a quiet
voice
said from beside me, surprising me into looking
around.
Targa Emmen Su Daylath stood at my right elbow
a short
distance back from the people in front of the tent,
her
eyes on the brazier and the flame, her arms folded
across
her chest. None of the others seemed to be with her,
and
then it came to me that she'd asked a question.
"That's
a salamander," 1 supplied, studying her as she
studied
the two black eyes. "The magician is telling the
crowd
that his arts captured it and keep it in forced service
to him,
but that's just a come-on to get them into the tent
and pay
to see the rest of the show. The salamander isn't
bound,
it's just here visiting and seeing the sights. When it
gets
bored it will simply move on, and he'll have to find
another
one to make a deal w^h. They're not master and
slave,
they're business partners." .
"Thought
the thing might need freeing," she said, bring-
ing her
attention away from the attraction and back to me.
"Don't
know more about magic than that it is, and don't
really
want to know. Shouldn't have wandered away from
us in a
place like this, too easy to get lost. Rik said we
should
stay together.' *
"I'm
sure Rik says a lot of things," I commented,
bringing
a flash of amusement to her calm, dark brown
eyes.
"If you're so worried about what Daddy will think,
what
are you doing away from the nest? I can always use
magic
to find them, but you can't."
"Wizard
said my tracking ability is some kind of magic,"
she
informed me, the words as easy and unimpressive as
the
rest of what she'd said had been. "He fixed it so I
could
see any trail 1 want to see, and if I can see it I can
follow
it. That's how I'm following our trail."
"So
if you want to go back, you'll just follow your own
62
SHARON GREEN
trail
to where you left them. then theirs to wherever they
went,"
1 acknowledged with a nod, still looking up at her.
"That
says how you'll get back, but not why you came
away in
the first place."
"When
there's a group, don't like seeing one all alone
out of
it," she said, a faint smite appearing to add to the
calm.
"In the tribe, we don't let it happen. You don't like
Rik,
but he's got the gold and you have to be as hungry as
lam."
I
studied her in silence for a moment, her big body more
man
half a head taller than mine and proportionately wider,
her
long, light brown hair supported in a high tail by its
bone
holder, the yellow leather and swordbelt she wore
doing
more to add to her air of competence than detract
from it.
She seemed to really enjoy going barefoot, so she
simply
did it. Just the way she seemed prepared to do
anything
else she felt needed doing. Straight out with no
excuses.
"No,
I don't like Rik," I said after me moment, giving
her the
sort of smile she was giving me. "But he's not the
only
one with coins in his hand, so there's no reason to go
back
right away. Let's get something to eat first."
I
hadn't needed to use a word, only a gesture, which
meant
that she blinked in surprise when I opened my hand
to show
the silver. Gold is fine for inns and cities, but at
country
fairs silver does better. Less change to get when
you buy
something, and less of a stir when you produce it.
There
was a food stall not far from the magician's tent, so
we
headed for it.
"Your
tribe must be a really good place to live,1* I
remarked
as we walked, privately hoping that the lines at
the
food stall would move quickly. "If everyone's as
friendly
as you say, you must miss it quite a lot."
"Would
miss it more if my man was still alive," she
answered,
also eying me lines we were nearing. "He was
me one
who made me feel a part of it all, without him I
don't
much care. Hunted for the tribe because they were
good
people, because they needed all the hunters they
could
get, but my being gone won't make much differ-
ence. A
thousand hunters won't keep them alive in those
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 63
empty
lands they ran to, and they're too afraid to go back
to
where the game is."
"Why?"
I asked with a frown, stopping behind the
crowd
of food buyers to look up at her. "Why should they
go to a
place to starve, and what happened to your man?"
"Died
in the fight with the Wolf tribe," she said, her
shrug
putting the whole thing beyond anyone's ability to
change.
"Wolf tribe wanted everybody else's land, so they
started
a war. We were the third they fought with, and we
didn't
do any better than the rest. Our men died where
they
stood, and the rest of the tribe ran till they got to the
empty
land. Nothing left but women and kids and old
ones,
nothing that could face me Wolf tribe. If they went
back
the Wolves would take the women and kids and kill
off the
old, and they don't want that. Without men to fight
for
them, they have no choice- Wanted to go with my man
to
stand against me Wolves, but he said no. Didn't want
me
dead, he said. Dead wouldn't have been as bad as he
thought."
Her
dark eyes were still calm as she merely stated facts,
but /
could feel the hurt she wasn't showing. People still
enjoyed
themselves all around us, but a little of the warm
brightness
was gone from the^day. I looked down at the
piece
of silver in my hand, then back up to the big hunter.
"After
this quest is over, maybe you'd care to join me
on another
trip," I suggested, weighing the coin in my
hand.
"I think I'd like to meet that Wolf tribe."
"Won't
like meeting you," was all she said, but the
grin
she suddenly showed was full of anticipation, not to
mention
the first of its kind to be seen on her. The big
woman
didn't seem to be the sort to grin much, and I
could
understand that. Apparently I'd found something she
could
grin at, which I could understand even better. No,
the
Wolf tribe would definitely not enjoy meeting me.
The
lines in front of us finally thinned enough for us to
reach
the stall, and the wait turned out to be worth it. The
stall
people were selling meat pies, vegetable pies and fruit
pies,
all of them composed of the lightest, most delicious
crust
I'd ever tasted. AH the fillings were just as special,
and I
was glad I'd bought one of each for each of us. We
stood
at the side of me stall eating the delights one after
64 SHARON GREEN
the
other, trying not to burn our mouths but making no
effort to
wait until they cooled, and it didn't take long to
realize
what we were missing. I licked up the last of the
crumbs
on my hand, then glanced over at my companion.
"After
that, Targa Emma Su Daylath, we need some-
thing
cold and wet," I announced, already beginning to
look
around at the other stalls and tents. "If you'U tell me
what
you'd like, we'll go and find it."
"Always
been partial to ale," she answered, brushing
her
hands together to get rid of her own crumbs. "Passed
an ale
tent on my way here, should be in that direction.
And you
can call me Su. My man was Targa Emmen Vad
Areth,
Vad and Su the hunters, for the Hawk tribe."
"Su,
then," I said with a nod and a smile. "I'm Laciel,
and ale
it is in that direction."
We left
the stall and headed toward where me ale tent
would
be, happily filled and looking forward to quenching
our
thrist before rejoining me others. People moved every-
where
and in every direction, making us thread our way
through
them until we reached a reasonably uncrowded
alley
between two lines of tents and stalls. With gambling
going
on inside some of the tents and dancers putting on
their
shows in others, most of the foot traffic was already
under
canvas. Su and I, able to breathe again, strolled up
me alley
looking at what could be seen of the doings in
the
tents, and were surprised when three men suddenly
materialized
in front of us. They wore old and dirty leather—
high,
scuffed boots, plain, worn swordbelts—and two of
them
had beards. The two with beards were straight-faced,
but the
shaven one was grinning.
"You
girls looking for a good time?" he asked, letting
his
eyes move back and forth between Su and myself, his
book-end
friends standing slightly behind him. "You just
come
along with us, and we'll show you the best time you
ever
had."
"We're
not looking for anything you could help us
with,"
I told him coldly, letting him see I wasn't joking.
"Just
get out of our way and find someone else to show a
good
time to."
"Now,
that's not being very friendly," the beardless
man
complained, his dark eyes finally settling for me, his
65
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
grin
undisturbed. "You're the only one at this whole fair
who
interests me, and 1 won't take no for an answer."
He moved
one step toward me, raising his hand to take
my arm,
but before he could touch me or the step was
completed,
he was stopped by a big hand in the middle of
his
chest. The man was barely an inch taller than me,
which
made it necessary for him to look up at Su, the one
whose
hand had stopped him.
"Wouldn't
do that if I were you," she said in her calm,
easy
voice, unimpressed by the way the man's grin faded to
a
scowl. "Better find somebody else, the way she said."
"And
I said I didn't want anybody else," he contradicted
with a
matching evenness, then without warning dropped
a wide
shoulder to knock Su away from me. The next
instant
he and his friends were close and grabbing for me,
and
that got me almost as angry as what he'd done to Su. 1
snapped
out a word of power meant to drop them in their
tracks—then
felt my jaw drop when they did no more man
shiver
before closing in to grab me. They were under the
protection
of some sort of warding spell, which probably
meant
they did that kind of thing on a regular basis. I
could
have countered their warding spell if I'd known its
details,
but I didn't know and didn't have the time to find
out.
They all had their hands or anus on me, and despite
me way
I was kicking and struggling, they were beginning
to
force me back up me alleyway.
And
then a sound came that no one could miss, the
sound
of a sword being freed of its scabbard. The beard-
less
man and one of his helpers whirled away from me as
they
drew their own weapons, paying no attention to the
small
clumps of people who had appeared from some-
where
to stare and point and ask each other what was
going
on. The only one they looked at was Su, her sword
in her
fist as she stood waiting for them. The third one
still
had his left arm around my waist and his right hand
clamped
to my right arm, my kicking doing nothing more
than
making him curse. I twisted in his grip but couldn't
get
loose—and then the other two had closed with Su:
The
sound of metal on metal turned me more desperate
man I
had been, especially when I saw that Su was good
enough
with a sword to hold her own against the two men
66
SHARON
GREEN
for a
while, but probably wouldn't be able to best them
both.
They would wear her down and kill her before
dragging
me off for the ransom or whatever they'd decided
they
could get, and I couldn't let that happen. They were
protected
against my magic just then, but there's more
than
one way to use magic.
The
proper gesture and word put the long, heavy piece
of
squared wood into my left hand, and I lost no time in
bringing
it up and back with alt my strength, catching the
man who
held me in the side of the head. He grunted at
the
blow and immediately began falling, nearly taking me
down
with him before his grip relaxed enough for me to
free
myself- As soon as I had pulled loose I ran over to the
three
who were swinging away at each other with swords
and did
a little swinging of my own, directly at the head of
the
second bearded man. Su had been swiping toward his
middle
just then, and when his guard dropped she opened
him
from side to side. He went straight down to the
ground
without making any sound, first unconscious and
then
dead.
The
beardless man was left to face Su, and that didn't
make
him very happy. She had been able to hold off
two
swords against her own, and once the odds had been
evened
she went on the offensive. He suddenly found
himself
defending frantically against an attack that had
almost
as much strength behind it as his own, and didn't
seem
quite able to match the speed of it. Su drove him
back
step by step, and when he tried to disengage and run
she
didn't allow it. One quick, strong lunge put her point
in his
chest, and when she jerked it out again he never felt
it. He dropped
his sword, then folded to the ground, and
that
was the end of that.
"That
was really nice," I began, moving forward with
the
block of wood still in my hand, but was interrupted by
a
commotion coming from the other end of the alley. Su
and I both
immediately turned that way, sword and wood
coming
up together, but all it turned out to be was three
familiar
male figures rushing up with swords in their hands,
one
small female figure hurrying along behind them. In-
stead
of us finding the group, me group had done the
finding.
67
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
"What's
going on here?" Rikkan Addis demanded as
the
three stopped beside us, all of them looking around at
the
mess Su had made. "What happened?"
"Didn't
listen when we said to move on," Su told him.
bending
to wipe her weapon on her second opponent.
"Tried
to take Laciel along with them, didn't think I'd
draw on
numbers. Some men are damn fools. Good swing
with
mat wood, girl."
"My
pleasure," I told her with a smile, gesturing the
wood
back to the air it had come from. "Most especially
with
the one who was still holding me."
I
turned my head to look at my first victim, but all that
was
left of him was a mark in the scuffed dirt where he'd
fallen.
He'd probably come around soon enough to find
himself
outnumbered, and had faded back into the wood-
work
where his kind came from.
"Did
they harm you?" Kadrim demanded from my
right
elbow, and when I looked back saw that he was
talking
only to me, a scowl on his smooth, handsome face.
"You
must surely be greatly upset from so harrowing an
experience."
"Why
would I be upset?" I asked, amused at me way he
slammed
his sword back into ite scabbard as though disap-
pointed
that he had no one to use k on. "It's been a good
number
of years, but when I lived on the streets this sort of
tiling
happened all the time- Not to me, of course, but I
wasn't
worth ransoming back then. And no, they didn't
hurt
me, just mussed me a little."
"This
wouldn't have happened if you two had stayed
with
tile rest of us as you were told to do," Rikkan Addis
interrupted
with a growl, moving nearer to glare at Su and
myself.
His weapon had also been returned to its scab-
bard,
but his bronze eyes glowed with the sharpness of a
sword
edge. "Do you know where we'd be if Su had been
badly
wounded or killed? We'd be without anyone to find
the
trail for us, and therefore stopped even before we
started!
We'd be able to turn this expedition around and go
crawling
back to the wizard on our bellies, beaten by our
own
stupidity. Didn't that even occur to you?"
By the
end of his speech / was me only one those eyes
were
accusing, his broad face adding to their anger, tight
68
SHARON
GREEN
fists
set on hips. Su had been endangered because of me,
because
I had disobeyed our great, bronze-eyed leader,
and
that could have meant the end of our quest. Rikkan
Addis
was a little taller than Su, but that wasn't the reason
he was
looking down at me. I'd been a bad little girl, and
now was
being scolded for it.
"Since
I didn't set out to get Su hurt, it certainly did not
occur
to me what might happen," I came back at him,
finding
that I'd straightened to my full height, somewhat
aware
of the absolute silence holding the rest of our group.
"For
your information Su's safety is more important to me
than
just in relation to this quest, and if it came right down
to it,
I would not have let her get hurt. And even if she
was,
for one reason or another, unable to follow the trail
for us,
there would still be nothing to stop me from doing
it. Or
didn't you know that if I had to, I could bring her
abilities
under my control? It would not be particularly
easy,
but I could do it."
For
someone who had had so many words eariier, he
seemed
to have no immediate response to that. I was
standing
there and glaring up at him with my own fists on
my
hips, furious that he'd lecture me like a child, and in
front
of a crowd of people at that. If it hadn't been possible
that
Graythor was watching us I would have taken the
leadership
from him then and there, but knowing Graythor
he
probably was watching. Once we passed through the
first
gate, though, he would no longer be able to watch,
and
that's when I would make my move. Our fearless
leader
absorbed my justifiable truculence with no more
than a
thoughtful blink of those bronze eyes, and then he
had
brushed it all aside.
"What
you can or can't do is completely beside the
point,"
he said in a flat-voiced growl, making the only
kind of
judgment his sort was capable of, "We were
brought
together for a purpose, and wandering around
separately,
getting into trouble, isn't it. From now on no
one
leaves this group without my permission, or the worst
trouble
they'll find will come from my direction. Now,
let's
get to the horses and back on the road."
He
moved one step away and just waited, as though
expecting
me to jump to it as fast as I could, desperate to
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
keep
from finding the awftu, hovering doom he'd prom-
ised
for disobedience. I let my eyes move down his rust-
colored
leather to his boots and then back up to his thick
black
hair, then deliberately turned to look at Su.
"We
haven't had our ale yet, have we?" I remembered
aloud,
seeing the instant amusement in her brown eyes
before
she lowered her gaze to inspect the back of her left
hand.
"I think we'd better get to it fast, to keep the others
from
being impatient. I'm sure they're eager to be back on
me
road."
Rikkan
Addis seemed to have forgotten that / was the
only
one who could get behind me fence to the horses, but
apparently
me others hadn't. They stirred where they stood
and
exchanged quick glances, and for the most part looked
everywhere
but at the man who was playing leader. In
actual
fact I was even more anxious than he was to take up
the
trail again, but considering what we had ahead of us,
ten
minutes wasn't likely to make that much of a differ-
ence,
and the man had to be taught where he stood with
me. Su
hesitated, not quite sure what to say, but good old
Rik
took care of that for her,
"You
can either walk back to the horses now on your
own, or
get carried there over my shoulder," he stated, me
words
surprisingly mild in view of his previous anger. "If
I'm leader
of this expedition I'm leader over everyone,
which
includes you, girl. I don't know why the wizard
wants
you in on something as important as this, but if he
thinks
we'll need a bad-tempered, ill-mannered trouble-
maker,
it's my job to see that she goes with us. You have
your
choice, now make it."
The
flat challenge hung in the air behind my left shoul-
der,
just about where mat stupid man stood, and everyone
was
silent again, waiting to see what I'd do. What I
wanted
to do was something classical but tacky, like turn-
ing him
into a toad or making him three inches high and
then
doing a stomp-dance around him, but I couldn't
afford
to forget about Graythor and that obedience spell
he'd
promised to use. Challenge-answering would have to
wait
until we passed through the first gate, but that didn't
mean I
had to put up with nonsense. Without even glanc-
ing at
me man I put both hands out between Su and
70
SHARON GREEN
myself,
palms upward and fingers slightly bent, then said
the
proper word. When the two pewter mugs of ale
appeared
I handed one to a startled Su, then took the other
by the
grip and turned part way back to Rikkan Addis.
"At
your service, master, anything you say, master,
yessir,
boss," I acknowledged, raising my mug to him in
salute
before taking a good swallow from it. The ale was
delicious,
dark and cold and just right for the heat of the
day,
and after I'd had my swallow I began leading the way
out of
the alley- The rest of them came after me without
comment,
a silence that lasted all the way back to the
horses.
Rikkan Addis should have been thrilled that he'd
gotten
his way, but from the last glimpse I'd had of his
expression,
I didn't think he was.
CHAPTER
3
Beyond
the town there were more fields, and beyond the
fields
there were stands of woods, some open grassland,
one
stretch of flats, and occasional solitary farms with neat
rows of
plantings and fenced in pastures right in the mid-
dle of
nothing else. The horses had been satisfied with the
rest
and me grass they'd found inside their fence, and
moved
along as strongly and evenly as they had that
morning.
It took at least an hour before the general silence
was
broken, and then only to a certain degree. Su rode out
ahead
again with Rikkan Addis not far behind her, Kadrim
had
begun a conversation with Soffann Dra, and that left
Zail
T'Zannis with something of a problem. He clearly
wanted
to talk to somebody, but Su was busy studying the
road,
Soffann Dra was exchanging low-voiced chatter with
an
absorbed, redheaded boy, and as far as our still-silent
leader
went, if the expression on his face meant anything
he
probably would have shredded anyone who dared to
approach
him. That left only me, but it took the curly-
haired
man a minute or two to decide to chance it. The
way he
made an effort to ease back without bringing
himself
to Rikkan Addis' attention showed he knew how
popular
anyone in my company was likely to be with our
leader.
Bravely and deftly he did it anyway, though, and
men his
black was moving beside my gray where 1 brought
up the
rear of our company.
"I
wanted to tell you that that ale looked better than
•7I
SHARON
GREEN
72
what we
had," he offered, grinning widely with an amuse-
ment he
didn't seem able to hold down any longer. "I
must
say, though, that you giris deserved it. There wasn't
anything
left for us men to do."
"It
was a lucky thing Su is that good with a sword," I
said,
unbending a little at his attitude. "That was just
about
the worst time for something like that to happen, but
kidnappers
don't usually stop to make convenient appoint-
ments.
It also would have been easier if they hadn't been
warded
against spells."
"Well,
they certainly had good taste when it came to
picking
victims," he said, his gray eyes laughing, and
then a
more sobering thought came to him. "What do you
mean,
they were warded against spells? Does that mean
you
couldn't use magic against them?"
"Exactly,"
I answered with a nod, wondering why they
all
seemed to know so little about magic. "If you're going
into
the kidnapping business, your best bet is to get some
gold
accumulated first, and then go to an apprentice sor-
cerer
or sorceress and have a warding spell put on you.
Most
apprentices can't yet see gold or silver in fine enough
detail
to reproduce it, but warding is simple enough for
just
about anybody to do. And a lot of honest people, like
those
who deal in jewels or precious metals, pay to be
warded
against dishonest magic. If you can manage to
look
upright enough, the apprentice will pay more atten-
tion to
the fee than the reason you want to be warded, and
you're
in business."
"The
kidnapping business," he said, distaste briefly
wrinkling
his expression. "What makes these warding
spells
so simple?"
"The
fact that they're nothing more than invisible re-
flecting
surfaces," 1 said, this time wondering if I ought to
set up
a general lecture series. "What the speH does is put
a thin,
undetectable mirror bubble around the person, one
specifically
designed to reflect back magic, but the minor
details
make it hard to crack. The bubble doesn't necessar-
ily
have to be round, and its thickness can also vaiy.
which
means no one who doesn't know its exact shape and
thickness
can dissolve it. In order to have power over it
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
73
.you
have to describe it in detail; without the detail, you're
wasting
your time trying."
"Maybe
they weren't trying to kidnap you," he sug-
gested
after shaking his head, a grin beginning to grow
again.
"Maybe they just couldn't get a woman any other
way,
and were desperate. Once or twice I've considered
trying
that method myself."
"But
you're not warded," I pointed out with a chuckle,
enjoying
the comment he'd made. "If you try it on the
wrong
woman, you could end up a living two-dimensional
cut-out,
hung on a wall for decoration or rolled up and put
away on
a shelf. Which is what I intend doing to that third
one who
disappeared, if I ever come across him unwarded.
1 don't
like being strong-armed."
"I
don't blame you a bit," he agreed, his left hand
coming
across the space between us to close gently over
one of
mine, his pretty gray eyes filled with understand-
ing.
"Men who try to force themselves on women deserve
anything
they get. Women arc there to be appreciated, and
taken
care of, and handled gently, like the priceless works
of art
they are. Don't you think so?"
"I—never
really thought about it," I stumbled, sud-
denly
very aware of his hand on mine, wishing his eyes
would
let mine go. The saddle was harder than it had been
and the
day abruptly hotter, and if my mount hadn't been
watching
the road we probably would have found our-
selves
off it.
"It's
the best and only way," he assured me, his smile
very
warming in spite of its softness, "From the moment I
first
saw you I knew you were a woman who was born to
be
treated like that, and myself as the man born to do it.
I'm
Zail and you're Laciel, and when we stop at an inn
tonight
we'll have dinner together, just you and me. If
young
Kadrim tries to join us, we'll just tell him we'd
prefer
being alone It's about time someone starting treat-
ing you
the right way, not shouting at you the way Rik
did,
and you'll have a wonderful time. I guarantee it."
At that
point I couldn't think of anything to say, not in
any
language ever created. No man had ever spoken to me
like
that before, especially not one as good-looking at Zail,
and I
couldn't decide if 1 wanted to drop my eyes away
74
SHARON
GREEN
from
his or keep on noticing how beautiful his were. I
have no
idea how long the dilemma lasted, but suddenly it
was
solved in a way that should have been predictable.
"Zail!"
Rikkan Addis called, looking back over his
shoulder
at us, his expression only a little lighter than it
had
been. "I could use a few minutes of your time."
"Right
with you, Rik," Zait acknowledged with a wave,
then
his attention was briefly mine again. "I have to go
now,
but I'll probably be useless if he wants to discuss
anything
in the way of planning for the quest. My mind
will be
too full of thoughts about tonight. Until then ..."
He took
my hand and raised it briefly to his lips, then he
was
urging his black horse forward toward where Rikkan
Addis
rode in our procession, up front where a leader
belonged.
I looked down at the hand Zail had kissed.
wondering
why it tingled that way, wondering if I should
curse
fearless leader for breaking things up just then, or
thank
him for doing it. Zait was unlike any man I had ever
known,
and somehow I couldn't decide how I should feel
about
what he'd said. Dinner together, just the two of us,
him and
me. I'd occasionally had dinner with men before,
but
they'd been magic users and couldn't seem to talk
about
anything but that. Not to mention how nervous
they'd
been. Zail wouldn't be nervous, and somehow I
knew he
wouldn't be talking about magic, and I found
myself
wanting to hear what he would be talking about. I
shifted
in the saddle, knowing I'd be thinking about him
even
after the dinner was over and I'd gone to bed, and
discovered
that I liked that idea. We'd be spending a lot of
time
together until the quest was finished, and I liked that
idea
even more. Maybe having companions along wasn't
going
to be so bad after all.
The
rest of the afternoon drifted by without bringing
itself
to my attention, most of my thoughts involved with
the
quest and where it would take us. That particular line
of
consideration was enough to distract me even from
thoughts
of Zail and dinner, and no matter how hard I tried
pushing
it away, it continued to insist on coming back and
hopping
around in front of me. Graythor had told everyone
the
night before that the quest would take us an unbe-
lievably
far distance from that world-dimension, but he
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
75
hadn't
gone into details about what we would find there.
He
hadn't lied when he'd said he didn't know what we
would
find, but he hadn't mentioned any of the stories
we'd
both heard about the place, either. . . .
"Oh,
thank goodness we're finally here," Soffann Dra's
voice
came, drawing me back to the world-dimension we
hadn't
yet left. "I don't think I could have ridden one foot
past
it."
The
"it" she was talking about was the inn we'd been
looking
for, one that wasn't supposed to be very far from
the
first gate. We'd spend our last night on that world in
comfort,
and after that take accommodations as they came.
If
nothing turned up that was suitable I'd produce tents and
things
for us with magic, which kept us from having to
drag
along pack horses and tons of equipment, which in
turn
would make things easier for me at the gates. It took a
lot of
power and strength to move things without power of
their own
through a gate, and five people and six horses
were
going to be hard enough.
The inn
was bright in the darkness that had descended
on
everything around it, standing in the middle of a large
cleared
space in me woods to the right of the road. Wel-
coming
light spilled out of windows on each of its two
floors,
and lanterns had been set on the outside of both
house
and stable. It promised a comfortable haven in the
middle
of nothing but trees and road. and yet even as we
rode
into the yard and slowed to a stop. something about it
began
bothering me. It was cheerful and friendly and we
could
hear the sounds of conversation coming from inside,
but
there was something. . . .
"Rub
them all down and give them oats, boy," Rikkan
Addis
was saying to me gangling teenager who had hurried
out of
the stable, followed by two younger assistants.
"We'll
be staying the night, but we'll want them early
tomorrow."
"Yes,
sir!" the boy acknowledged, snatching the coin
tossed
to him out of the air and pocketing it quickly before
taking
the reins being held out. Then he gestured hurriedly
to his
assistants to do the same with the rest of our horses,
which
meant it was time to dismount. I was almost as tired
as
Soffann Dra claimed to be, which was probably why I
76 SHARON GREEN
was
seeing strangeness where there wasn't any. The fresh,
dewy
night air was beginning to make me sleepy, and I
hoped
getting back on my own two feet would wake me up
a
little. I started to dismount—and suddenly felt an arm
around
my waist.
"Here,
let me help you," Zail said, lifting me down
against
his chest before slowly lowering me to the ground.
There
was more than enough light to see those gray eyes
by, and
they were looking at me again as they had that
afternoon.
His arms didn't leave my waist immediately,
die
hand firm against my ribs, and once again I felt as
though
I'd lost the ability to speak. It was stupid for a
grown
woman to be acting that way, as though she'd never
met or
spoken to a man in her life before, but there was
something
about that particular man. . . .
"Let's
get inside and settled," Zail said, letting me go
as
though reluctant to do it, then taking the single rein I
held to
give it to the boy waiting for it. "As soon as we've
arranged
for rooms, we can get to that dinner."
The
dinner for just the two of us. We stood and waited
while
the horses were led out of the way toward the stable,
then
joined the others in walking toward the house. Zail
wasn't
touching me at all right then, and I felt the loss of
his
hand and arm more than I would have thought possi-
ble.
Normally I didn't like being touched, usually I avoided
it even
if I had to be downright rude; I couldn't really
imagine
why Zail would want to touch me, but also found
that I
didn't have the urge to laugh, or wonder aloud about
his
desperation, or do anything that would keep him from
wanting
to do it again. That was probably why I'd been
finding
it so hard to speak, afraid I'd say something stupid
or
clumsy and drive him away. . . .
Rikkan
Addis opened the inn door and led the way
inside,
Kadrim right behind him, then Soffann Dra and Su,
then me
with Zail bringing up the rear. The big room we
walked
into already had ten or twelve people in it, seated
at the
long rectangular tables with food or drink or both m
front
of them, the lamps on the walls casting odd shadows.
At the
back of the room opposite the door was a long bar,
with a
heavyset man in a once-white apron behind it, just
then handing
over two mugs of ale to a slender young
THE PAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
77
thing
who was obviously a serving girl. The girl was the
only
female in the room aside from those of us who had
just
arrived, and when she turned away from the bar the
man
behind it beamed at us.
"Welcome,
travelers'" he called in a rough voice trying
to be
professionally jolly, gesturing us toward him. "Are
you
here for the night, or just for a meal?"
"For
the night and for a meal," Rikkan Addis told him,
starting
over toward the bar. "We'U want two of your
bigger
rooms and breakfast in the morning as well, early
enough
to let us be on our way at first light."
"Rik,
I've had a thought about those rooms," Zail said,
moving
past the rest of us fast to catch up to fearless
leader.
"Since this is probably the last night the girls will
be able
to have any privacy, why not . . ."
His
voice lowered as he reached the other man's side,
causing
Kadrim and Soffann Dra to step closer to hear
what he
was saying, also making Su curious enough to do
the
same thing. As a matter of fact I was more than a little
interested
myself, especiallly since 1 had no intention of
sharing
a room for the night. Over the years I'd learned to
enjoy
having a place all to myself rather than having to
share
it with others, and if Rikkan Addis wanted to be
thrifty
with Graythor's gold that was his business. He
could
sleep in the house's back corridor for all I cared, but
/ was
not going to be packed into a cheap, communal stall.
I started
to move forward to make my position as clear as
possible—and
that's when everything began happening at
once.
Very
casually three of the inn's previous guests sud-
denly
stepped between me and the others, big men dressed
in
rough homespun undecorated with swordbelts. For a
moment
1 thought they were just going past so I stopped to
let
them get by. but continuing in their original direction
wasn't
what they had in mind. Without any warning all
three
were abruptly around me the way the three at the fair
had
been, rough hands grabbing for me and heavy bodies
already
pushing me toward the door. A deep male voice
shouted
wordlessly, possibly Kadrim although I couldn't
be
sure, and then the other "guests" were streaming from
their
tables with swords in their fists, the sound of metal
78 SHARON GREEN
striking
metal coming when they reached the others. The
inn was
a trap, and my suspicions about it had been right.
It's
been said that be who hesitates is lost, but some-
times a
little forethought can outbalance the hesitation of
shock.
Attack was the last thing I'd been expecting at the
inn,
but part of my thinking during the afternoon had been
about
the warding the three kidnappers had had that had
kept me
from defending myself with magic. I hadn't en-
joyed
being helpless, and when 1 dislike something that
strongly
I usually try to think of a way to keep it from
happening
again. I had thought of something that might be
a way,
and there would never be a better time to try it.
The
three men were having only minor trouble forcing
me
toward me door over my struggles, and none of them
were
making the least effort to silence me. That told me
they
had to be warded me way me others had been, so I
closed
one fist tight in anger and spoke the two-word spell
I'd
prepared only a few hours earlier. Instantly the light-
nings
blazed high and all three of mem screamed and
threw
themselves away from me, me agony they'd brought
on
themselves dropping them to the plank floor to roll
them
about moaning. With their thick bodies out of the
way I
could see that the "serving girl" had been making
her way
over to us, but had frozen still in fear and shock
when
her friends had gone down. Just then she stood
staring
at me wide-eyed, the back of her hand to her
mouth,
and when I met her stare she simply turned and
ran.
The
noise of fighting and cursing was rather loud even
in a
room that size, and a quick look around showed me
two
more bodies on the floor, both of them "guests." One
had a
shirt that was soaked in blood and the other only half
a head,
but our side was still outnumbered about two to
one.
Soffann Dra was the only one without a swinging
sword
in her fist, and she stood cringing behind a wildly
fighting
Kadrim. trying her best not to be noticed. The
attackers
were fighting back as though they didn't care
whether
they lived or died as long as they took us with
them,
and that was another clue that told me even more
than my
not having been silenced had.
Moving
to the right, away from the three on the floor,
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
79
let me
see past the fighting to the bar. Just as I'd hoped the
"innkeeper"
was simply standing where he had been, his
face
calm, his attention on the fight. I drew myself up and
spoke
me word of power, and all outside sounds faded as
me
cylinder formed between and around us, locking us
together
in a private world that was nevertheless still in the
middle
of that inn. He started in surprise, obviously not
expecting
anything like that, and then he laughed in a way
that
was supposed to sound superior, rather than the way it
did
sound—which was frightened.
"You
can't seriously be challenging me, Laciel," he
said
after the laugh, trying to straighten up a bit more.
"My
power is years stronger man yours."
"If
that's true, then I'll lose," I told him, Seeing that he
wasn't
disguised. "You seem to know me, but I can't
remember
when we met. Who are you?"
"That's
something you have no need to know," he
answered,
finding a little more courage somewhere. "It's
enough
that I know who you are. Surrender to me now and
you'll
live, resist me and you'll die; those are the only two
things
we have to talk about- Which will it be?"
"Neither,"
I said with all the disgust I was feeling, and
then I
raised my arm to signal the start of the combat and
fling
out the raging, ravening sphere of Hellfire toward
him. He
gasped and paled just the way I'd thought he
would,
gesturing frantically in an attempt to send the thing
back to
me, but Hellfire takes confidence as well as skill to
handle,
which is why so few of the Sighted become adept
at it.
You become adept by entering the Lists at Conclaves
and
formally challenging those stronger man you, accept-
ing the
minor burns of a controlled exhibition in order to
add to
your confidence and skill. Whoever my current
opponent
was, he wasn't adept, otherwise I would have
known
him; I was adept, supposedly at a younger age than
anyone
had managed in centuries, and it didn't take long
to
prove it.
The man
in the combat cylinder with me sweated and
ducked
as he gestured, trying to avoid the Hellfire even as
he
fought to force it away from him, frantically trying to
spread
his fingers into the best and most widely used
repelling
mode that had been developed. My right hand
So
SHARON
GREEN
was
already set that way. urging the terrifying ball of
annihilation
closer and closer to him, playing it to give
him the
least amount of room for the return. The blazing
colors
of the Hellfire were blindingly beautiful, the searing
jump of
its numberless fingers a raging hunger reaching
out to
consume, and the man's fear grew greater with
every
inch closer it came to him. He fought to control it,
struggled
to keep it from him, and when he crossed the
line
from trying to send it back to trying to keep it away,
the
fight was lost. The crackling of the ball of flame rose
to a
roar that nearly drowned out the man's scream of
ten-or,
and the blast was so bright that it really did blind
me for
a minute. The scream seemed to go on and on,
making
me press my hands to my ears as well as squeeze
my eyes
closed, and then mere was absolute silence and
darkness,
both thick enough to be felt rather than sensed.
"Laciel!
Laciel, where are you?" a voice shoiiied, a
voice
that I finally recognized as Zail's. I forced my eyes
open to
see the dark all around, shivered even though I
understood,
then whispered a word. A small sun blazed up
over
our heads under the trees, lighting up me scene so
that it
was almost day bright.
The
three men of our group and Su all still stood with
swords
in their hands, but they no longer had targets for
their
weapons. Their former opponents littered the ground,
and
only some of them showed visible wounds. Soffann
Dra
still trembled behind Kadrim with one hand to his bare
back as
though seeking comfort from contact with another
human
being, and nothing at all remained of the man I'd
stood
in combat with, not even the cylinder. When I
realized
that I shivered again, and then Zail was beside
me,
holding me close to his chest with his arms wrapped
tight.
"What
happened?" he asked, his voice faintly bewil-
dered
and the least bit unsteady. "Are you all right? What
happened
to the inn, and those men, and the one you were
standing
and facing? That fire, that blinding explosion—
What
was it?"
"It
was—combat with Hellfire," I answered, wonder-
ing why
I couldn't do anything but hold to Zail and shiver.
"We
do it all the time at Conclaves, those of us who can.
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
81
It's
the way me Sighted fence with their power, bringing
me
Hellfire through a simple entry and then seeing who
can
control it best. At the Conclaves there are wizards who
keep me
Hellfire from really touching the loser, from
doing
more than singeing him or her a little— I've never
before
fought a real battle with it— It—it—ate him—
Zail—"
I was
trembling so hard that I wanted to be sick,
finding
a real win nothing like a Conclave win. There
hadn't
been a wizard handy to control the Hellfire and send
it back
when the combat was over, so it had been free
to—eat—the
man before me entry drew it back! I held to
Zail
with all my strength and buried my face in his shirt,
trying
to control my shuddering but finding it impossible. I
hadn't
simply killed mat man, I'd fed him to something,
and I'd
never once, during all those combats, thought to
consider
just exactly what mat meant.
"They're
all dead," Rikkan Addis' voice came from
behind
me, calm and quiet and almost even. "Do you
know
why they're dead, girl? Or what happened to the
inn?"
"They're
dead because—he's dead," I answered, trying
to find
something else to think about besides— "He had
them
under a spell of compulsion, and they would have
fought
until you were all dead or they themselves bumed
out.
The abrupt release—their systems couldn't take it—"
"It's
all right, you're doing just fine," he said in a
soothing
murmur, as though afraid that speaking any louder
would
really set me off. "And me inn? What happened to
it?"
"The
same thing, in effect, because it wasn't the real
inn,"
1 said, finally calming down enough to simply put
my
cheek to Zail's shirt. His arms were still tight around
me,
which helped more than he probably knew, and I was
able to
look at the black trees and darkness beyond the
glow
from my small sun. "As a matter of fact I Saw the
gaps
and lapses as soon as we rode in, but I was too tired
to
really understand what I was Seeing. He was the one
maintaining
the image, and when he died the spell went
with
him. He—wasn't as good as he thought he was,
otherwise
the inn would have been an exact replica of the
82
SHARON
GREEN
real
one instead of a sloppy copy. And anyone truly com-
petent
also wouldn't have protected their henchmen with
nothing
but simple warding.'*
"You
mean those three who went after you were warded
like
the ones this afternoon?" Zail asked, this time sound-
ing
surprised. "But if they were protected from your
magic,
how did you get away from them?"
"With
magic," I answered with a sigh, finally making
the
effort to push back from him and stand alone. "It
came to
me this afternoon that warding was defensive
magic,
designed to protect people from attack from others.
Those
kidnappers used the warding to let them do the
attacking
which, if you think about it, is using something
defensive
for offense. Magic has a kind of balance, and
you
can't use something meant for one purpose in an
entirely
opposite manner without paying a price. I used a
beefed-up
warding spell to protect myself, adding a lot of
insulation
on the inside, working on the theory that their
attack
would—blow the circuits—on their own spell when
they
tried using it against its nature. As soon as their
warding
touched mine, they were nearly knocked across
the
room."
"What
did you mean, those three this afternoon were
warded
like the ones tonight?" Rikkan Addis asked, his
tone
fractionally sharper. "1 didn't know there was any-
thing
magical about this afternoon's attack."
I'd put
my hands over my face to let my fingers rub at
my
eyes, but something in the man's voice made me take
them
away again. When the pretty -colored spots had all
faded I
saw those bronze eyes looking down at me, and
they
were glowing faintly.
"There
wasn't anything magical about this afternoon's
attack,"
I said, wondering if I were being gently accused
of
hiding things. "Those kidnappers were warded like the
three
attackers tonight, but that can't be anything but
coincidence."
"Like
the coincidence that the three tonight were head-
ing you
toward the door?" he came back immediately,
annoyance
growing in both eyes and voice. "You and Su
agreed
that it was you they wanted this afternoon, and
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 83
tonight
they almost had you again. Who would want you
so
badly, and why?"
"But—no
one!" 1 protested, certain he couldn't possi-
bly be
right, but still beginning to get confused. "And it
can't
be just me they were after. They had fighters under a
compulsion
ready, and sent them after the rest of you."
"But
not until drey already had their hands on you," he
countered,
those eyes glowing brighter now, one big hand
running
distractedly through thick black hair. "Once they
had you
they felt free to attack the rest of us, but first they
took
you. Why would that be?"
"Perhaps
they feared what magic she would use," Kadrim
suggested
from where he stood with Su and Soffann Dra,
only a
couple of feet away. "Did the wizard not say her
power
was great?''
"But
they found out this afternoon that her magic couldn't
get
through their warding," Zail disagreed from behind
me,
sounding as confused as Kadrim had and I felt. "If
they
really are all the same group, the one who got away
would
have told them what happened. And if they aren't
all the
same group, what's bringing so many of them out
from
under their rocks all at the same time?"
"That
part's not hard," Soffann Dra said, moving just a
little
closer to Kadrim after a glance at the darkness all
around.
"We're after something that was stolen, aren't
we?
Anyone who keeps us from getting it back, can
probably
ask for and get all the gold he wants from the
thief."
"Couldn't
ask if he didn't know about it," Su put in,
surprising
just about everyone, "The wizard said no one
knows
but us and him, so how could they know."
"There
is someone else who knows," Rikkan Addis
said
suddenly, staring at Su where she stood under the
low-gauge
glare of the miniature sun. "The one who took
the
balance stone knows, and is also obviously in a posi-
tion to
set up ambushes along the trail we have to follow.
Knowing
that much, I also now know why they've been
trying
for you first, girl."
Those
eyes were back to looking at me, but for once
they
couldn't distract me. He claimed to know something,
but for
the life of me 1 couldn't see it.
SHARON
GREEN
"You
totd me the reason yourself," he pressed when he
saw
that I wasn't following him, seemingly oblivious to all
the
rest of the eyes on him. "You said that if you had to,
you
could make Su's talent your talent, and I'm now
willing
to bet you could do me same with me rest of us. If
one of
us didn't make it all the way, you could substitute
for that
one."
"As
a matter of fact, I could," I admitted, still not
seeing
where the line of logic was leading. "As long as I
know
what the necessary talent is, I can reproduce it. If I
tried
to match all of you I'd probably be good for nothing
more
than counting my fingers afterward, but if I had to I
could
do it. What has that got to do with kidnap attempts?
With
all of you still around, 1 don't have to reproduce your
talents."
"That's
why they're trying for you first," he said with
the
sort of slow patience that forces home a point, folding
his
arms across his rust-colored leather shirt- "There's no
sense
in their trying to stop us if you're still around, not
when
they can kill every one of us and still lose the game
to you.
If they manage to get you out of me way, then they
can try
for one or two of us. Without your particular
talent,
mat would be enough to stop me rest of us."
Put
that way, the idea was very hard to argue against. 1
just
stood and stared at him without being able to say
anything,
then discovered that I was also being stared at.
Five
pairs of eyes were reflecting me digestion of the fact
that as
long as I stayed alive and a part of the group, they
were as
safe as a quest like that was likely to let mem be. I
didn't
care for that thought, and wasn't even sure I agreed
with
all of it, but for me third time that day the words just
weren't
there-
"I
think we'd better get on to me real inn now," Rikkan
Addis
said, unfolding his arms to look around. "It's prob-
ably the
safest thing we can do, considering that they tried
to trap
us here. Using the real inn would have been easier,
if they
could have managed it. Maybe there's a reason they
couldn't.
Kadrim, Su, see if you can find the horses. The
rest of
us will stay with the girl."
Kadrim
and Su nodded before going off, and Soffann
Dra
lost no time in replacing the red-haired boy with
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 85
Rikkan
Addis as someone to stand close to. A minute later
there
was an arm around my shoulders, and Zail was
standing
to my left, tall and concerned and protective. It
was all
I could do to keep from pushing that arm away, an
arm 1
would have been delighted to have around me just a
few
minutes earlier. They were now all going to be look-
ing out
for "the girl," and "the girl" didn't like it one
little
bit.
The
horses hadn't been taken very far, and once we
were
back on the road with my miniature sun doused, I
discovered
that the line of march had been shifted without
anyone
saying a word. Su was still out front with a ner-
vous,
tired Soffann Dra beside her, but the men had
rearranged
themselves so that Zail rode to my right, Kadrim
behind
me. and fearless leader to my left. I didn't like the
new
arrangement and tried to talk mem out of it, but they
were
all too busy looking in seven directions at once to
listen
to me. Even Su had muttered something about al-
most
losing me because she hadn't been bright enough to
follow
the trail to the inn rather than the trail that was
taking
us to the balance stone; the two were supposed to
have
been the same, and would have been if we'd gone on
to the,
real inn. At that point I discovered I was too tired to
continue
me argument for that day, and simply saved my
strength
for any further emergencies.
Happily,
all emergencies proved to have retired for the
night.
Another half hour^s riding brought us to the place
we
should have reached the first time, and my companions
were
faintly upset to see that it looked exactly like the inn
mat had
been reproduced for us back in the woods, right
down to
the three boys who came running out to see to our
horses.
I, myself, took a good long look at the place
before
dismounting, and immediately Saw why the trap
had
been set at the duplicate.
"Take
it slow until we've checked this place out, Laciel,"
Zail
fussed at me as I handed over me reins of my gray
men
turned toward the house. "We don't know what can
be
waiting for us inside."
"There's
nothing to worry about here, Zail," I said
with a
sigh, stopping because of the hand on my shoulder.
"They
couldn't set the trap here because Graythor warded
86
SHARON
GREEN
this
place, with a spell to keep out anyone with evil
intentions.
Considering some of the people who usually
ride
this road on a regular basis, we might even find the
place
empty."
That
seemed to settle them down a bit, but it was still
Kadrim
and fearless leader who walked into the house
first,
their right hands loose and ready. The big room held
about
five people aside from the serving girl and the
innkeeper,
and none of them looked familiar including the
last
two. The girl was small and blond and tired-looking,
and the
innkeeper was tall and lean with a long, unhappy
face.
Our sudden, group appearance made him uneasy, but
mat
disappeared quickly enough when Rikkan Addis stepped
forward
and threw three gold coins on the bar.
"We
need meals and lodgings for the night," he told
the
suddenly happier innkeeper, watching as the man made
me
coins disappear with a single movement of his hand.
"For
the food we'll take the best you have, but for sleep-
ing we
want one of your dormitory rooms. Our group will
be
staying together, but alone; if there's anybody already
in the
room, clear them out."
"Just
a minute," I said as the innkeeper began nodding
in
surprised but nevertheless eager agreement, moving past
Kadriro
to get to the bar. "I don't care what the rest of you
do, but
1*11 be sleeping in a private room tonight. Crowds
tend to
keep me awake."
"You
can't be guarded as easily in a private room as
you can
be in a dormitory," Rikkan Addis said with a
touch
of annoyance, looking down at me with those eyes
again.
"As long as I'm me one with the gold, we'll do
things
my way."
"Then
isn't it lucky for me that I can afford to pay my
own
way?" I remarked, opening my hand to show the
three
gold coins I'd just produced before handing them
over to
the innkeeper. "As far as being guarded goes, I've
already
told you that this place is safe. If you're in the
mood to
ruin what will probably be everyone's last decent
night's
sleep just to play fearless leader, don't try to count
me in
on it. Tonight I make up for what I missed last
night.
Give me my key."
The
last of my words were for the innkeeper, who had a
8?
THE FAR
SIDE Of FOREVER
key in
my outstretched hand before the final syllable died
away.
He hadn't missed the fact that there hadn't been any
gold in
my hand when I'd first walked over, and knew
exactly
what that meant. If his odd new guest was about to
get
into an argument with a sorceress, he wanted no part of
it.
But his
odd new guest apparently decided against an
argument
with a sorceress; I was able to leave the main
room
with nothing but silence following me, find the stairs
leading
upward, then locate the room that matched the
number
on my key. The room was dark when I opened the
door,
but a snap of my fingers brought the lamp to life,
dimly
illuminating a small, not particularly neat and clean
box
that had a bed and a chair and one window, and
nothing
else. The patch-quilt on the bed was faded, the
linen
was more yellow than white, and the greasy brown
chair
had one leg snorter than the others; nevertheless I
closed
and locked the door behind me, threw the key on
the
chair, then sat down on the bed.
"You
still haven't learned to follow orders very well,
have
you?" a voice asked, a voice I'd been half expect-
ing to
hear. I looked up to see Graythor's image sitting on
the
chair, paying no mind, of^course, to the key it wasn't
really
sitting on. It was his true image that he had sent,
and his
dark eyes were staring straight at me.
"I
had the feeling you were watching, checking to see
how
well we could take care of ourselves," I said, making
no
attempt to avoid his gaze. "Did we pass?"
"You've
had no real opposition yet and you know it,"
he came
back, his voice as even and undisturbed as it had
been.
"We'll find out what you're all made of once you
get a
little farther down the trail."
"Why
didn't you stop it?" I demanded, too tired to play
any
more word games. "You were there at the replicate
inn, 1
know you were! Why didn't you stop the Hellfire?"
"Laciel,
child, it wasn't a friendly competition," he
said,
his eyes commiserating but his tone cold and im-
placable.
"If Draffan had gotten control of the sphere, it
would
have been you who was devoured So far they've
underestimated
you, but that can change at any time.
88
SHARON
GREEN
Now, I
think, you can understand why your being leader
of this
expedition would have been impractical."
"Because
they're after my head first?" 1 asked with a
sound
of ridicule, not terribly happy with his answer con-
cerning
the Hellfire, but needing to discuss this other point
as
well. "Most leaders are targets, so what difference
would
it make? At least if I was leader I could keep them
from
suffocating me, which is what I intend seeing to first
thing
in the morning. With the number of personal de-
fenses
I have, their attempts at protection are ludicrous."
"Their
attempts are necessary, not ludicrous," he said
very
sternly, his anger enhancing the heavy flow of power
from
his twisted image-body as he straightened in the chair
as best
he could. "You still have no idea what you're
fighting
against, and if you were leader you would under-
estimate
the enemy just as they're doing with you! You
need to
be protected for more reasons than you know, and
Rikkan
Addis is the one to do it! He will remain leader,
and you
will stop bedeviling him!"
It had
been a long time since Graythor had last spoken
to me
like that, showing so much of his enormous power,
and it
wasn't something I'd be able to argue against for a
long,
long time—if ever. There was no question about
how
much stronger he was—but Acre was also no ques-
tion
about my own opinions on the points. Rather than try
to
argue I simply stretched out across the creaking bed on
my
right side, busily inspecting the faded patch-quilt under
me,
saying not a word.
"I'm
tempted to have a few words with Morgiana when
she
returns, but I have the distinct feeling it's already too
late,"
he growled at my silence, less angry but more
annoyed.
"Once you make up that mind about something.
it's
just about impossible to sway you. Try to understand
that
Rikkan Addis is the best leader for the expedition,
otherwise
1 wouldn't have chosen him. Just as you're the
best
Sighted for it. You can't let your personal feelings get
in the
way of what has to be done."
"What
personal feelings?" I asked with a snort, looking
up at
him over the foot of the bed. "Knowing you can do
a
better job than someone else isn't opinion if you can
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
89
i •_
' ^
:!
' t,
&"
prove
it—which I can. Don't you want the balance stone
recovered?"
"Your
attitude toward Rikkan Addis has nothing to do
with
the balance stone," he said, back to staring at me and
almost
back to calm. "Laciel, the man is different, almost
in the
same away you're different, and you're blaming him
for
that. Also, everyone is accepting him without question
despite
his difference, and you're blaming him for that as
well.
It all has to do with why you've never even tried to
find
the people you come from,"
"That's
ridiculous," I said after forcing the words over
a
pause, finding that the patch-quilt was a much better thing (o
look at
than the image of Graythor- "What could fearless
leader
possibly have to do with whoever my people were?"
"He
has nothing to do with them," me gentle but
persistent
answer came as I picked at the stitching of the
quilt.
"You seem to have come to the conclusion that your
people
didn't want you because of your differences, and
that's
why you were abandoned to grow up on the streets
like a
homeless animal. You equate different with wrong,
which
is why you feel so strongly that Rikkan Addis is the
wrong
one to lead the expedition- You've also learned
some
small measure of personaLself-esteem over the years
with
Morgiana, and that's why you feel that if anyone
different
is to be leader, that one should be you. You're
going
to have to take my word for me fact that everything
is
already as it should be, and be satisfied with that."
"I'm
rarely satisfied with second best or blind specula-
tion,"
I muttered to the quilt, certain that what he'd said
was
absolutely untrue, but much too tired to go looking for
me
logic flaws. "Would you mind very much letting me
go to
bed now? Fearless leader will be chasing us out early
in me morning,
and I'd hate to oversleep."
"Very
well, then, we'll do it your way," he said, and
all the
compassion in his voice was gone behind the return
of
sternness. "I've devised a spell I'd hoped would be
unnecessary,
but your stubbornness leaves me no choice.
From
now on Rikkan Addis will be warded, but not in the
usual
way. If you make any attempt at all to use magic
against
him, your spells will bounce back changed into the
strongest
obedience spell I could find, leaving you needing
SHARON
GREEN
90
permission
to so much as blink- You'll still be able to do
what's
needed on me expedition, but then you'll have to
be
allowed to do it—by Rikkan Addis. 1 know exactly how
much
you'll enjoy something like that.11 '_•
I sat
up fast to glare at him furiously, but that was about [
the
only thing I could do. Most people struggled simply to
leam to
use spells, but Graythor was experienced enough ^
to
devise them. Experimentation always fell into the dan- "'
gerous
black area, but if you managed to survive you were .^
powerful
enough to do just about anything you pleased. I'd |-
never
be able to find a way around his spell, and he knew , ^
it! ||
"And
you'd better stop trying to antagonize him," the g-
most
powerful wizard of our time said, his image rising ^
from
the chair with no more than slight difficulty. "What- ^
ever
patience he had with you is just about gone now, and
if you
continue to push him you'll certainly regret it. And
one
more thing—''
"What
now?" 1 asked when he paused, for some reason
looking
as though he were searching for the right words-
"Have
you decided the way 1 breathe in and out bothers
you?"
"That's
closer to the truth than you know," he said, his
crooked
smile bending his face and warming the dark of
his
eyes. "Laciel, child, you've spent too much of the last
years
locked away with Morgiana in her house, studying
and
practicing and associating with very few people who
weren't
of the Sighted. Morgiana is a wizard of great
power,
and your potential is nothing short of enormous;
mat
combination of factors tends to turn people, especially
men,
somewhat diffident and circumspect. In the full mea-
sure of
things, I'm afraid you're a good deal more inno-
cent
than girls who are years your junior."
"Is
all that supposed to mean something?" 1 asked,
having
not the least idea what he was talking about. "And
I'm not
at all innocent. I'm a full grown woman."
"You
most certainly are a full grown woman," he
agreed
with a sigh, beginning to look frustrated. "That,
specifically,
is the reason for the problem. Your self-
image,
however, hasn't been given me chance to change
from
the scruffy waif Morgiana brought home with her, to
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
91
what
you've now grown to become. The men of this
expedition
aren't Sighted, child, which makes your poten-
tial
meaningless to them, and they've never even heard of
Morgiana.
All they have is their own sight, and you
mustn't
believe everything they tell you. Morgiana will be
cross
enough with me as it is; I certainly don't want to add
to
it."
"Uncle
Graythor, I haven't the faintest idea of what
you're
talking about," I said. giving in to the need to
stretch
out across the bed again. "Whatever this is, can we
discuss
it some other time? I really am very tired."
"Possibly
I should be the one to be cross with Morgiana,"
he
muttered, shaking his head in annoyance and what
seemed
like defeat. "She should have explained these
things
to you long ago, not left them to a man who has
never
had daughters of his own to caution. I think I'll have
to look
for another way. You sleep now, and remember
what I
said: the trail will grow progressively more danger-
ous,
and you need to be protected so mat you can protect
everyone
else. Know mat my blessing and hope is with
you
every step of the way."
He
raised one hand, more in benediction and farewell
than
for magical purpose, and then his image was abruptly
gone.
Probably to set that warding on Rikkan Addis, I
thought
sourly, forcing myself to my feet in order to get
out of
my clothes. Well, I might not be able to use magic
to take
over leadership, but if there were some other way
I'd
find it- I used the Sight to make sure there was nothing
living
in my bed before crawling under the covers, vaguely
wondering
what it was that I wasn't supposed to believe
when
told by my male companions, men stopped wasting
my
time. Graythor was very old, and sometimes old age
affects
even wizards with strength like his. I snapped my
fingers
to turn the lamp out, then snuggled down to think
about
Zail and the dinner we still had ahead of us to share.
CHAPTER
4
The
bloodcurdling scream snapped me out of sleep and
bolt
upright, my eyes opening quickly enough to see Soffann
Dra
just disappearing from the now-open door to my room.
I still
wasn't awake enough to know what was happening,
but if
we were under attack again the attacker had to be
invisible.
"She
really should have knocked louder instead of sim-
ply
walking in." a very familiar voice said from the floor
to the
left of my bed, not five paces away from the door.
"That
way she wouldn't have nearly stepped on me."
"InThig,"
I groaned, lying back down as the big, black,
feline
head with blazing red eyes rose above the side of my
bed, it
now being in a sitting position instead of stretched
out
along the floor. "What are you doing here?"
"Graythor
felt that my presence on this expedition will
be very
helpful," it purred, enormously pleased with it-
self,
red eyes unblinking in the small amount of lamplight
coming
in from me hall. "Was that one of our companions?"
"Our
companions," I muttered, hanging a forearm over
my
eyes, still too jangled to make a more appropriate
comment.
There were some people, I knew, who disliked
being
awakened abruptly in the dark by the crowing of a
rooster
greeting the approach of dawn; right then I wouldn't
have
minded a batallion of roosters.
"Listen
to all those running feet," InThig remarked, its
growl
sounding interested and delighted. "Almost all booted,
Q1
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
93
f-
,B
^
I
think, and definitely coming this way. This should be
bin."
"Fun!"
I exclaimed, suddenly realizing what had to be
happening,
pulling my arm from my eyes and sitting up
fast
again. Those stampeding-herd sounds had to be com-
ing
from the other members of the quest, rushing in to
save me
from the horrible danger that had so frightened
Soffann
Dra. I doubt if any of them truly believed 1
couldn't
be in danger there, and that little incident was
about
to make things ten times worse in the way of smoth-
ering
protection than—
"There
it is!" Rikkan Addis' voice came from the hall,
harder
than it usually was and filled with command. "I'll
take
it, and you two back me up."
"Wait
a minute!" I yelped as his heavy, broad-bladed
sword
came through the doorway with him right behind it,
snapping
my fingers to light the room lamp. "You don't
understand!
This isn't what—"
"Don't
worry, girl, we won't let it hurt you," he
interrupted,
his eyes narrowed against the sudden light, but
all his
attention still on InThig. The demon gazed back at
him
calmly, a grin of amusement bringing to sight the two
rows of
sharp, dangerous teeth, its mouth was filled with,
and a
hiss of caution came from the doorway just behind
the
slowly advancing man.
"See
how it snarls in preparation for attack," Kadrim
pointed
out, his own sword low to keep from stabbing
fearless
leader in the back, but alertly ready for all of that.
"We
ought to get Laciel out of there first, just in case it
turns
suddenly and attacks her," Zail put in from where he
stood
beside Kadrim in the doorway, his sword held the
way the
boy's was. "Even a dying beast can cause a lot of
damage."
"You
may be right," fearless leader agreed without turning
to look
at Zail, stopping where his very slow advance had
brought
him. "Any movement on her part might cause the
thing
to attack, but it seems to be centering on me right
now.
See if you can slip out of the other side of that bed,
girl,
and if it doesn't go after you, try to work your way
around
until you're behind me."
"This
is ridiculous," I announced while InThig chuck-
SHARON
GREEN
94
led,
the sound of it causing the three men to bring their
swords
up a little more. "If you think I'm getting out of
this
bed stalk naked, you're out of your mind. If you'll
just
listen to me for a minute ..."
"Saving
your modesty at the expense of your life would
be
stupid," fearless leader interrupted again, annoyance
tmgeing
the low growl in his voice. ' 'Get out of that bed,
and I
mean now."
InThig's
chuckling turned to low, chill-making laughter,
enough
to cause Rikkan Addis to look as though he wanted
to take
one step back, and I'd absolutely had it. Everyone
was
having a grand old time at my expense, but party time
was
over. I continued to hold me patch-quilt to me as I sat
straighter
in the bed, and glared around at everyone
concerned.
"1
am going to say this only once in this language, and
if 1
have to repeat myself it will be in words none of you
will
like," I said through my teeth. "I am not getting out
of this
bed because 1 am n^r in any danger. InThig is
getting
a real kick out of mis, but I am not. I don't need
your
protection and I don't want it, so you can all go back
to
wherever you were."
"InThig?"
Rikkan Addis echoed with a frown, his eyes
still
on die laughing demon. "Who or what is InThig?"
"That's
hiThig," I said with a gesture and a lot of
disgust,
wishing it were possible to touch demons with
magic.
"Graythor decided we needed it with us, and it
decided
to have some innocent fun with its new compan-
ions.
It has that son of a sense of humor."
"I
merely wished to see how well they would take my
presence,"
InThig protested mildly, completely phony in-
jured
innocence in its tone. "They certainly are a coura-
geous
lot, to be prepared so quickly and completely to
confront
the unknown."
"You
might not have thought our courage that admira-
ble if
we'd simply attacked," Rikkan Addis pointed out
with
increased annoyance as he sheathed his sword, Zail
shaking
his head with a sigh while Kadrim stood blinking
and
staring. "Once you put a sword in someone, all you
can do
afterward is apologize while the blood flows out."
"But
I don't have any blood," InThig answered with
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
95
another
chuckle, still enjoying itself. "Your weapons aren't
capable
of hurting me, so it wouldn't have mattered even
if you
had attacked. Laciel knows that, but I do believe it
slipped
her mind for a moment."
The
big, black head turned and those two blazing red
eyes
were on me, but I pretended to ignore them. I had
forgotten
for a moment that InThig couldn't be hurt, but I
didn't
want it reading things into a temporary memory
lapse.
"Well,
now that the crisis is over, maybe Laciel will do
us the
favor of getting dressed and joining us at break-
fast,"
Rikkan Addis said, already heading for the door,
"It's
more than time we were on our way."
Zail
and Kadrim retreated before his striding advance,
and an
instant later the door was pulled closed behind
them,
leaving nothing in his wake but thick silence. InThig
was
still staring at me, however, as demons never can
leave
their points unmade.
"I'm
flattered that you were worried about me," it said,
the
previous smugness back in its voice, its purr making it
seem
like an overgrown housecat "Not many people can
be
bothered with being concerned over a demon, so you
must
like me no matter how^often you try to get rid of
me."
"Being
used to having someone around is not the same
as liking
them," I pointed out in an effort to dent the
smugness,
throwing me quilt aside so that 1 might get up.
"Besides,
if anything happened to you, Morgiana would
be
upset."
"Of
course," InThig murmured, grinning to match the
increased
blaze in its eyes, its purr of contentment un-
changed
even as I turned my back on it. "How silly of me
to be
so mistaken."
I
suppose I was waiting for it to continue bothering me,
but
happily it seemed to have said everything it wanted to.
I was
able to get back into my clothes in the midst of
pleasing
quiet, admiring (he way Graythor's refreshing
spell
had turned my clothes beautifully clean and new
overnight.
The others would have found me same thing
done to
their clothes, which meant no one needed to carry
any
changes. We'd get very tired of those outfits long
96
SHARON
GREEN
before
the quest was finished, but it cut down on the need
for
extra baggage—not to mention the possibility that I
might
have to disguise us in some of the worlds we'd be
going
to. Disguising one outfit each would be no big deal,
but six
wardrobes full . . .
As soon
as I was dressed I took the room key and left,
snapping
out the light before closing and locking the door.
InThig
padded silently beside me, its movement more flow
than
walk, the red eyes taking in everything, its big head
beside
my right elbow. I could remember a time when
InThig
had been almost my size. but that hadn't lasted
very
long. Morgiana had originally summoned it as a
companion
for herself, but that hadn't lasted very long
either.
. . .
Everyone
was downstairs in the inn's main room around
one of
the plank tables, the serving girl having just brought
another
two heaping platters of something hot to add to
what
was already there. When I paused at me bar to return
the
room key the innkeeper paled and closed his eyes. his
lips
moving soundlessly in what was probably a prayer,
and the
serving girl gasped, put one hand to her head, then
immediately
fled the room. I couldn't help sighing as ljust
left
the key on the bar and headed for the table, beginning
to be
annoyed with Graythor for having sent InThig to the
inn
instead of having it meet us at the gate. I'd almost
forgotten
how untalented people reacted to the sight of a
demon,
but I had a feeling I would soon be well reminded.
"Good
morning, Laciel," Zail greeted me, rising from
his
chair at the big, round table and gesturing toward the
empty
place to his right, his attitude saying nothing at all
unusual
had happened that morning. "Did you sleep well?"
"Very
well, thank you," I answered pleasantly—if the
least
bit softly, taking the chair he held for me. To my
right
was Kadrim, to his right Su, to Zail's left Soffann
Dra,
and between the two women Rikkan Addis. Kadrim
smiled
at me as I sat, ignoring InThig the way Zail was
doing,
but Su inspected my new companion with curiosity,
and
Soffann Dra did the same with wariness. Only Rikkan
Addis
continued to fill his plate from the platters of food
standing
around, ignoring my arrival as though 1 were
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
97
invisible
or unSeen. If I hadn't been so hungry, I might
have
spent some time being thoroughly annoyed.
"You
really must have been exhausted last night," Zail
said as
he sat again and reached for a platter of steaks to
pass to
me. "When dinner was ready I came to your door
and
knocked, but there was no answer and the light was
out."
"I,
too, came to your door, to continue the discussion
we had
not completed on the road," Kadrim said, ready to
take
the platter of steaks and replace it with one piled high
with
eggs. "Although I knocked as well, I also found no
response."
"1
don't remember hearing either one of you," I said,
giving
Zail the eggs and reaching myself for the fried
potatoes.
"I feel fine now, though, so sleeping like the
dead
obviously helped. Now all I have to do is replace the
meal I
missed."
With
which comment I immediately began to dig in,
pausing
after a moment to take a slab of bread and butter. I
felt
hollow all the way through, and the men on either side
of me
took the hint and left conversation for another time.
We all
worked silently at fueling ourselves for the upcom-
ing
day's travels, and it wasn't ^ntil almost everything was
gone
and the last of me coffee .had been poured that
Soffann
Dra broke mat silence.
"Doesn't
your—friend—need anything to eat?" she
asked,
moving her head a little to look at InThig where it
lay
stretched out on the floor behind my chair, "I hope
you
don't take this wrong, but I really dislike the thought
of him
being hungry."
"InThig's
an it, not a him," I corrected, letting another
swallow
of coffee push the food I'd eaten down where it
belonged.
"And it doesn't eat, at least not the way we do,
so you
don't have to worry. When it's hungry, it goes
home to
eat."
"Oh,"
she said, her tone wavering between relief and
disbelief,
not quite sure which way to go. She wanted to
think I
was telling the truth, but was still too uneasy to put
complete
trust in something that might not be so. If that
was the
worst difficulty InThig's presence caused among
me six
of us, though, I would be very, very happy.
98
SHARON
GREEN
By
mutual consent, we didn't do much dawdling over
the
coffee. The first rays of the new day were just begin-
ning to
light and brighten the landscape when we went out
to get
the horses, and 1 had my first job of the day. Our
mounts
reacted to InThig the way the innkeeper and the
serving
girl had, but with more volume and violence; I had
to
speak a spell to keep them from bolting and leaving us
afoot.
After that they were no longer aware of InThig's
presence,
but InThig got a lot of fun out of the incident.
Demons
are always amused when people and animals
panic
at the sight of them, which accounts for some of the
legends
concerning them. The reason they're that amused
is
something no one knows for sure, but I suspect it has to
do with
their life-places in their own world-dimension.
Sort of
like, "Are they really afraid of me?" As humans
would
find it impossible to survive in their world, the
matter
continues to be one for speculation.
We
followed the road through the woods for less than an
hour,
and then Su turned off it to lead the way through the
trees.
There wasn't the least sign of a trail or path or
anything
to show we were heading in the right direction,
but
none of us had any doubt. Until then Kadrim and Zail
had
ridden to either side of me, their conversation light
and
their attention to our surroundings heavy, but once we
were
off the road it was strictly single file. Su led the way
with
Rikkan Addis behind her, Soffann Dra following
him,
then Zail in front of me and Kadrim bringing up the
rear.
InThig ranged through the trees on its own to our
right,
a silent, blackly flowing shadow, and somehow the
woods
felt friendlier having it there.
No more
than fifteen or twenty minutes later Su stopped,
at a
place that seemed to the naked eye no different from
any
other spot in the forest. The early-morning sun was
slanting
down through the leaves above and birds sang in
the
upper reaches, but closer to the ground there was no
forest
life, nothing to disturb the bright, pulsating slit I
could
See between two of the trees. No human or animal
could
have gone through that slit without the help of a
Sighted,
but the woods-dwellers still avoided the spot;
sometimes
I have the feeling that all animals are Sighted,
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
99
and
those unSighted who feel the greatest affinity for
them
are closest to the state themselves.
"Can't
see the trail any more," Su was saying to Rikkan
Addis,
who had ridden up to halt his roan beside her paint.
"Stops
right mere between those trees, and doesn't start
up
again."
"Then
this must be it," he said, glancing around a little
before
turning to look at me over his shoulder. "Is this
where
the gate is, girl?"
"Just
ahead of you, between those two trees," I an-
swered,
urging my gray past Zail and Soffann Dra to join
the
head of the column. "I'll have to help Su go through
first,
so that we transfer to the proper world. Everyone
dismount
and get ready; this might take some doing."
"You're
expecting problems?" Rikkan Addis asked, his
frown
making itself known in his voice since we were all
too
busy climbing off our mounts to look at him. "I
thought
you were good enough to handle this easily."
"If
I were alone, I could handle it easily," I answered,
annoyed
but too deep in juggling possibilities for him to
distract
me. I dropped my reins to keep my gray standing
where 1
left him and walked closer to the gate, aware of
the way
^—folded—on the inside, each fold going in a
different
direction. Choosing "among the folds was not
difficult
at all; moving others to one of those folds without
going
through myself was going to be the hard part. 1 had
to be
on this side of the gate to help the others in and on
the
other side of the gate to help them out again, both at
the
same time. Either I would have to escort each one of
them
through separately, the end of which would leave me
needing
two nights' worth of sleep-like-the-dead, or I could—
"All
right, here's how we'll do it," I announced as
soon as
the decision was made, turning to look at them.
"The
fastest and easiest thing we can do is form a chain
through
the gate, with Su on the left, one of you men on
the
right, and me as the central link. That way the rest of
you can
just pass right through with the horses, and I
won't
have to go back and forth half a dozen times. With
me
right in the middle of the gate, it will stay open."
"Why
do you need a chain?" Rikkan Addis asked, those
100
SHARON GREEN
bronze
eyes glowing faintly with curiosity. "Why can't you
simply
stand in the gate alone?"
"Gates
aren't made for standing in," I answered, im-
patient
to get on with it but seeing that the others had the
same
question. "They tend to draw you through once
you've
entered them, so I have to be anchored. Is every-
one
ready?"
"Just
a minute," old fearless leader balked, part of his
frown
back. "I can see why Su has to go through first, but
what
happens if there's a welcoming committee on the
other
side? How can she defend herself if she has to help
anchor
you?"
"The
answer to that is, she can't," I said, speaking
slowly
and carefully so the man would have no trouble
understanding
what would have been obvious to any real
leader.
"That's why InThig will be going through right
behind
her,, on its own, to stand protection until the rest of
us make
it. Did you think Graythor added it to this expedi-
tion
just to give it new victims for its sense of humor?"
My
adversary's head came up, as though he didn't quite
care
for something I'd said, but that wasn't the time or the
place
to continue the discussion and he seemed to know it.
Rather
than giving voice to whatever was bothering him,
he
opted instead for giving orders.
"Kadrim,
I think you'd better be the anchor on this
side,"
he told the red-haired boy without looking at him,
that
bronze stare still all mine. "Zail, you'll go through
behind
InThig, Soffann Dra after you, and then me, we mice
leading
all the horses. As soon as we clear the gate, Kadrim,
get
yourself and the girl through as fast as possible."
"Also
shall I be on the alert for any who might appear
behind
us," Kadrim said with full agreement, ignoring the
near-growl
with which he'd been addressed. "At the mo-
ment it
appears that we are alone, therefore does it seem
best
that we hurry."
"Couldn't
have said it better myself," I commented to
Kadrim
with a smile, then gestured to Su and the boy to join
me very
near the gate. Su stopped no more than half a pace
back
from it, probably guided by where the trail she was
following
ended, and when I reached her 1 put my left
hand
up.
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 101
"Su,
you take my hand and we'll move into the gate
together,
but I'll be edging in sideways," I told her,
looking
up at her calm brown eyes. "When you know
which
world we want simply move toward it, but don't let
go of
my hand. That way I'll be able to open the gate for
you on
the other side without passing through it myself,
and
Kadrim will keep me from being drawn through. Once
you're
on the other side, hold tight to make sure I don't
get
drawn back."
"Don't
have to worry I'll let go," she answered, flash-
ing me
a quick, faintly amused grin. "Don't want to be
left
over there all by myself. Let's get to it."
She
took my left hand with her left, waited until Kadrim
had my
right hand in his left, then all of us moved
cautiously
forward. The gate sensed my presence and ex-
panded
sideways, the slit becoming a glowing curtain that
stretched
between the two trees, even me ground beneath it
beginning
to glow. The horses snorted and moved behind
us,
clearly startled by the unexpected happening but not
really
afraid, their reactions reinforcing my belief concern-
ing
animals and magic. The gate was open and ready, and
the
horses, at least, knew it.
Su,
however, had no idea of what was happening until
we
actually stepped through the gate-. She gasped then and
tightened
her grip on my hand, most likely dizzied by all
the
folds and choices among worlds. Gates glowed much
more
brightly on the inside, and once in you didn't have to
be
Sighted to perceive the brightness. Universes seemed to
be
rushing by in that glow, and it took a while even for the
Sighted
to get used to it.
"Just
concentrate on the trail," I told Su gently, my
voice
sounding odd in the silent rushing of the glow.
"You
should be able to see it again now, and then all we
have to
do is follow it."
"Yes
. . . there!" she gasped, still strangling my hand,
and
then she was stumbling toward one particular fold. I
made
sure to See which fold it was just in case, and then
Su was
through it into the next world-dimension, my hand,
arm and
shoulder through with her. I felt the pull of the
fold
trying to draw the rest of me along with the first, but
Kadrim's
big hand held to mine behind, and Su's grip kept
102
SHARON GREEN
that
part of me from snapping back. I was anchored in the
gate,
and InThig bounded through so fast all I caught was
a
glimpse of black.
A
moment later Zail appeared, leading his horse and
Su's,
his eyes widening as he became aware of the inner
gate.
The dizziness didn't take him as badly as it had Su,
most
likely because the chain was stabilizing a good part
of the
confusion, but the central link of that chain wasn't
taking
her position as easily as she thought she would. My
body
had begun hurting from being pulled in two opposite
directions,
my head was starting to throb in time to the
pulse
of the glow. and I was getting queasy. When Zau
glanced
at me, some of the awe left his expression.
"Are
you all right?" he demanded, his flattened voice
full of
his frown. He seemed to want to say more than
that,
but talking in a gate isn't very—comfortable.
"Yes,"
I answered, speaking more in general than
specifically,
but had to add, "Hurry."
Zail
wasted no further time on questions, for which I
was
grateful. He led the horses straight through into the
fold,
and then it was Soffann Dra entering, followed by
her
horse and mine. The small, dark-haired woman gasped
and
paled, and she, at least, didn't have to be hurried. She
moved
through the gate as fast as it's possible to go while
leading
two horses, her head down, her eyes nearly closed,
and
then it was Rikkan Addis' turn. Fearless leader entered
the
gate in front of his horse and Kadrim's, his bronze
eyes
narrowing at what he saw, and then his gaze found
me. A
peculiar expression crossed his face and his left
hand
came up, as though he were going to touch me, but
men he
-stopped himself, turned away, and pulled the
horses
through the fold behind him.
I could
now hear sounds of some sort, soft and very
distant,
as though coming from the other folds all around.
It was
neither warm nor cold in the gate but 1 could feel
beads
of sweat on my forehead, and something was inter-
fering
with my vision. I kept getting flashes of scenes mat
weren't
there before me, scenes of landscape and sea-
scape,
mountains and valleys, hot sunshine and shivery
snows.
People and animals of all sorts inhabited the scenes,
and
each one seemed to be calling and pulling at me. I
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 103
gasped
for air, finding it almost as hard to breathe as it had
been in
the Plane of Dreams, and me whirling in my head
began
turning even faster. I gasped again, feeling my
knees
begin to buckle—and then it was all gone and ! was
being
carried in two muscular arms, my body no longer
being
torn apart, my hands now free. For an instant I
thought
me chain had broken and 1 struggled, but then I
was
being put down in thick, soft grass and my eyes
opened
to see that everyone was there.
"Just
take it slow for a minute," Rikkan Addis said
from
where he half-knelt beside me, the glow in those eyes
looking
as strange as his expression in the gate had. "We're
all
through and everything's all right, so you can rest as
long as
you have to."
I
closed my eyes again and simply breathed, knowing it
wasn't
rest mat I needed. Standing in the gate hadn't been
as
draining as going back and forth through it would have
been,
but it also wasn't the most pleasurable of experiences.
After
three or four breaths I became aware of the thick
grass
on which I lay, the heavy, woodsy smell in the air all
around,
the sparkling warmth of sunshine, the sound of
birds
singing; by then the visions and sounds of the gate
had
begun to recede into faint memories.
"I
hadn't expected that, but I suppose it's logical," I
muttered,
putting one hand to my head as I opened my eyes
again.
"If the folds can't simply draw you into one of
them,
they start trying harder in other ways. I wonder if
it'll be
easier next time, now that I know what's coming."
"Perhaps,
next time, it would be best if 1 were to stand
beside
you within the gate," Kadrim said, crouching down
to my
right to take my hand again, a faint smile on his
handsome
young face. "When I came through you were
nearly
in a swoon, and I found it necessary to support you
me few
steps to the far side. I would not wish to see you in
such
difficulty again."
"Unfortunately,
my friend, you're needed as one of the
anchors,"
Zail said to the boy before I could answer, his
own
crouch to my left putting him close enough to take my
other
hand. "It looks like I'll have to be the one to stand
with
her, lending her support until everyone has passed
through."
104
SHARON
GREEN
Zail
had smiled at Kadrim before bringing those pretty
gray
eyes to me while helping me to a seated position, and
Kadrim's
eyes had hardened in response, as though he
blamed
Zait for speaking nothing but the truth. I didn't
know
what was going on between them, but before I could
ask,
InThig was suddenly sitting at my feet.
"It
would be interesting to see one of you attempt
that,"
it said to both men, looking between them and
grinning
its amusement. "Laciel, being Sighted and hav-
ing
power to call on, was able to maintain her position
inside
the gate. Were one of you others to try the same,
you
would be swept away nearly at once—and unable to
exit
from any other gate. She can hold you going through,
but not
if you stand around sightseeing or keeping her
company.
That's what makes taking the unSighted through
a gate
so difficult. If the Sighted doesn't hold on tight, the
gate
takes its turn."
Kadrim
and Zail were now staring at InThig, their ex-
pressions
peculiar, but that seemed to be the day for odd
expressions.
I hadn't wanted to break the news to them
quite
that abruptly, not after they were nice enough to
volunteer
their help, but tact isn't a word often found in a
demon's
vocabulary. Instead of letting them down gently he
had
dropped them off a mountainside, and there was noth-
ing I
could do about it right then but change the subject.
"I
think it's time we got back on the road," I said,
retrieving
my hands easily from the two loosened grips
before
getting to my feet. "We still have a long way to
go."
"There
is no road," Rikkan Addis pointed out, back to
looking
all around himself. We seemed to be in a wide
clearing,
almost a meadow, and all around were very big,
very
old trees. "This is the world without any people, isn't
it? The
one the wizard told us to be very alert in?"
"I
can sense animal and plant life," InThig told him,
padding
over to where the man stood and glancing at him
before
joining in the looking around. "If there's human
life as
well, it's out of my sensing range."
"Don't
waste any time letting me know if that changes,"
Rikkan
Addis said, fearless leader instructing one of his
followers
without a second thought, glancing down at
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
105
InThig
as though he'd known the demon all his life.
"Aside
from us, anything human on this world will have
only
one reason for being here. Let's get mounted and
moving.''
Everyone
began moving toward the horses at mat, re-
sponding
to his orders as enthusiastically as they'd ignored
mine,
something that set me thinking even as automatic
annoyance
flared. Now that we'd gone through the gate it
was
time to start doing something about taking over lead-
ership
of the expedition, but just as Graythor had sug-
gested,
few of the others seemed ready to accept my orders
unless
magic was involved—and magic was something 1
couldn't
use against ol' feariess leader. I didn't yet know
how I
could manage the takeover, but it was clear I'd have
to do
it ^st before everyone got too used to having that
impossible
man directing us. Habit was a hard creature to
best,
and as 1 moved toward my gray I glared at InThig; if
even
demons were subject to it 1 really did have to hurry.
but
somehow I had the feeling it had ranged itself with
Rikkan
Addis for another reason. With Graythor having
sent
it, I didn't have to wonder long as to what that other
reason
could be-
Even
without a road, the trail continued to be clear to
Su. We
followed her out of the'meadow and in among the
trees,
everyone probably wondering privately why we had
to be
so alert in so pleasant a place. There was nothing to
show
that humans had ever before passed where we rode,
and
that sense of being all alone in a lovely, green, virgin
wilderness
was soothing as well as exhilarating. Graythor
had
refused to be specific about what we were supposed" to
be
alert against, saying that expecting one particular type
of
attack would leave us open to the unexpected sort. If we
were
alert against everything and anything, it should be
that
much harder to surprise us. I could see the logic in
that
line of reasoning, but the look of the landscape was
working
against it; if there had been a specific threat we
could
brace against, it would have kept us from getting too
comfortable.
"Laciel,
girl. how do you fare?" a deep voice asked
from my
right, drawing me out of introspection. Kadrim
had
been riding behind me and Zail was deep in conversa-
io6
SHARON
GREEN
tion
with Rikkan Addis up ahead, but now the red-haired
boy had
moved up to ride beside me.
"Now
that I'm out of that gate, I'm fine," I told him
with a
smile, seeing how those blue eyes examined me to
be sure
I was telling the truth. "I never got the chance to
thank
you for carrying me out of there."
"Merely
did I assist you out, and for so little a thing
there
is no need of thanks," he answered, matching my
smile
as he looked down at me. "Once out it was Rik who
took
you, for he had anticipated your need and waited just
beside
the gate. As you are happily no longer in distress, I
will
come to you once we have made darkness camp, and
we
shall be able to continue our dis—"
"What
do you mean, it was Rik who took me?" I
interrupted,
feeling sudden outrage cover me like a cape.
"What
gave him the right to come anywhere near me, let
alone
touch me? How did he dare. . . !"
"It
is surely a leader's right to see to those who follow
him,"
the boy interrupted in turn, for some reason show-
ing
amusement .in those steady blue eyes. "As you con-
tinue
to follow him much like the rest of us, there was no
call
for him to refrain from doing as he wished. Perhaps,
should
we seek for it this darkness, we will discover a
means
to . . ."
"Change
that state of affairs," 1 finished in what was
nearly
a growl, nodding my head as I turned it to glare at
fearless
leader's back. "Even if it takes all night."
"Even
should it take the entire darkness," Kadrim agreed
in a
murmur, a smile behind the smoothness of his tone.
"1
would, however, refrain from speaking of this to the
others,
most particularly Zail. That one spends a good deal
of time
with Rik, and should he inadvertently let slip a
premature
hint of what you intend— To me they appear to
be
quite close."
"Oh,
but Zail would never take Rik's side against me,"
I
protested, looking again at me very large boy. "He's
already
said he doesn't like the way fearless leader treats
me, and
he has no choice about conferring with him in
relation
to the quest. If I don't tell him, he'll mink I don't
trust
him."
"Should
he fail to be told of me discussion we intend,
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 107
the
question of trust will not arise," the boy pointed out,
that
very faint smile back on his face. "Should you speak
of the
matter now, you will only cause him to realize that
there
were previous discussions of which he was not a
part.
And also do ! wish to speak of another matter this
darkness,
the matter I previously referred to. It will bring
you as
great a delight as it brings to me, I feel, yet would I
prefer
that you alone be told of it at this time. Will you
agree
to have it so?"
I bit
my lip at the question and looked in Zait's direction
again,
but everything Kadrim had said was true, and I had
already
agreed to listen to his secret any time he was ready
to tell
it. I don't believe in going back on promises to
friends,
but I had been so looking forward to that
dinner.
. . .
"Tonight
it will be just the two of us," I conceded with
as much
of a smile as I could manage, forcing my eyes
away
from Zail and back to my big, young friend. "You
have my
word on it."
"You
seem to wish it were otherwise, yet shall I take
the
sadness from you with what I will say." he assured
me,
seeing what I hadn't wanted him to see. "You will
find
that the men of other worlds are not so blind as those
of your
own, nor so backward. Have I told you that the
first
woman to take my heart was much like yourself?"
"Why—no,"
I answered, surprise coming to cover me
confusion
I felt over the rest of what he'd said. "You
sound
as though you really have had dozens of women—if
not
hundreds. You also make it sound as though you met
your
first woman a very long time ago."
"A
lifetime has passed in the interim," he said very
softly,
his face now expressionless, his sight turned inward
with
loss. "Her appearance was not like yours, for she
was
small with hair as red as my own, yet was she bright
and
alive and filled with the fire of a woman of pride—yet
also
innocent and in need of great gentleness. I loved her
as a
drowning man loves solid ground, as a suffocating
man me
breath of life; had I been called upon to give my
life
for hers, it would have been my pleasure and joy to do
so. It
was she, however, who gave her life for mine, and
never
will 1 forget the moment of it- It gave her great joy
108
SHARON GREEN
to know
I was unharmed, yet when she died in my arms
the joy
of the world died with her."
"How
did it happen?" I asked in a very unsteady voice,
my
throat tightening in echo to his whisper. Those hard
blue
eyes were completely dry, but only because he was
the
sort to keep tears strictly on the inside. "Was there an
accident
of some sort?"
"More
stupidity than accident," he said with a sharp
shake
of his head, old anger fighting to free itself. "My
enemies
were not many for they seldom survived our
meeting
to continue as enemies, yet was mere one who
lacked
the stomach to face me. Had I been wise I would
have
sought him out and slain him, yet did I feel then that
such a
doing would be dishonorable. I allowed him to live
so long
as he kept from me and mine—which lasted till he
approached
unseen, with a bow. The shaft was meant for
my
back—and took her, instead, between the breasts
when
she threw herself in its path. My enemy's death,
when I
tracked him down at last, was neither swift nor
easy,
yet does revenge fall short as a means to replace that
which
has been lost. A lifetime of loneliness had already
passed
by then. and each day thereafter brought more of
the
same."
He was
back to looking straight at me by then, a steady,
unwavering
blue gaze that left me with nothing to say. It
hurt to
know that someone so young had had so terrible a
loss,
and right then I felt very close to Kadrim. I reached
over to
touch his arm, trying to make him know without
words
that I understood how he felt, and a faint smile
returned
to his face.
"She,
too, would have shared my loss in such a way,'*
he
said, his voice still soft. "I was not mistaken in seeing
me similarity
between you."
"The
similarity between who?" another voice asked, a
much
more open and friendly voice. We both looked
around
to see that Zail now rode to my left, and his smite
warmed
when I quickly withdrew my hand from Kadrim's
arm.
"Kadrim
was just telling me about someone he once
knew,"
I said rather quickly, half to keep the boy from
being
hurt by having the subject rehashed once again, and
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 109
half to
reassure Zait that my touching Kadrim hadn't meant
anything.
"He and 1 are friends, you know."
"Friends,"
Zail said with even more of a smile, glanc-
ing
with what seemed like amusement at Kadrim. "When
you're
young it's important to have friends you can count
on, and
I'm sure Kadrim knows he can count on you—and
the
rest of us as well. Even though our own friendship has
become
a good deal more special. We'll make up tonight
for
that dinner we missed last night, just we two special
friends."
"Zait,"
I began, trying to think of some way to tell him
that I
couldn't have dinner with him that night even though
1
really wanted to, without sounding as though I were
making
excuses. I looked ahead to where Soffann Dra now
rode
with Rikkan Addis, both of them chuckling over
something,
without finding any inspiration, and then Kadrim
decided
to save me the trouble.
"Laciel
will be in my company this darkness, friend
Zail."
he said, the smoothness of his voice somehow
taking
the amusement that had abruptly left the other man-
*'0ur
friendship may not yet be as special as yours with
her,
but perhaps the darkness will bring about a change—
for the
better. I hope. She ha& given her word on the
matter.''
"You
made her give you her word?" Zail asked, his
gray
eyes more than annoyed as they rested on Kadrim.
"You
took advantage of her, and now you're crowing
about
it? When it comes to dealing properly with women,
my
young friend, you still have a lot to learn."
"It
is scarcely I who means to take advantage," Kadrim
came
back. his head high and his blue eyes a good deal
colder,
his voice losing quite a lot of friendliness. "Never
have I
forced myself on innocence with overwhelming
words
meant to dazzle and blind, with no more than one
end in
mind. A few words of honest praise indicating
sincere
interest, perhaps, and then ..."
"And
then on to the next name on the list," Zail cut in
with a
snort of scorn, his eyes and voice also growing
colder.
"Any one of those names will do, and they're
forgotten
as soon as they're checked off. But some of us
are
capable of having a vision of perfection, an ideal
SHARON
GREEN
no
which
raises one name far above all others, the culmina-
tion of
all he's ever searched for in one single, slender
form.
That's me one worth striving for, the one to win no
matter
what has to be done to . . ."
"To
achieve one's own purpose?" Kadrim took his turn
at
interrupting, a distant, regal sneer in his stiffened atti-
tude.
"Even should it not be best for the one striven for?
And
once that one is achieved, then what? A short time of
pleasure
and self-indulgence, and then the realization that
the
ideal is no longer quite as ideal, perhaps? A true man
advances
his cause with a view toward sharing, of himself
as well
as all things which are ..."
I was
getting dizzy looking back and forth between
them,
but the next interruption became me last. An ear-
piercing
scream sounded that even startled the horses, and
then we
were all in the middle of what had caused the
scream,
a vocalization of the understandable terror felt by
Soffann
Dra. A vine from one of the trees had whipped
down to
wrap around her where she rode next to Rikkan
Addis,
trying (o unseat her, trying to draw her back into
the
trees with it. The man had drawn his sword and
slashed
the vine through, but we'd all automatically reined
in and
now there were other vines after us! It was too late
to try
riding away from the attack, and even the horses
were
being threatened.
Zail,
Kadrim and Su had their blades unsheathed only
an
instant behind Rik's, and the flurry of whispering swings
was
almost lost behind the high-pitched whining coming
from
the trees all around us. The forest world was still as
bright
and beautiful and peaceful as it had been, which
made it
all a good deal worse than dank, threatening dark
would
have been. Kadrim grunted as he swung his weapon
and
Zail cursed in a low, furious voice; me horses were
snorting
and shivering, picking up the fear so thick around
them.
And
then a vine wrapped itself around me from behind,
sticky
sap dripping from it onto my clothes and flesh, tiny
suckers
searching for skin to attach to, strong as the arm of
a
well-muscled man. I gasped and shuddered as it began
tightening
around my arms, knowing it was ready to pull me
back
into the forest to whatever was waiting, and horror
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER III
and
disgust finally forced me out of shock and into action.
For
some reason revulsion had frozen me till then, but that
wasn't
the time to be fastidious.
A
single word caused the vine around me to shrivel to
black
dust, faintly increasing the whine in the trees all
around,
and that told me what 1 needed to know. The trees
and
vines feared something too, and that was the best
weapon
with which to fight them. I composed a three word
spell
and then spoke it. Seeing me blazing swords as they
flamed
to life all around us, watching their flickering
edges
sever and shrivel every vine in their reach, following
them as
they darted around searching for more antagonists
to
touch. The presence of edged steel hadn't bothered the
vines,
but my swords were made of fire that burned hotter
and
hotter. The vines withdrew from the attack with a
whining
shriek that could be felt in your bones, panic-
stricken
at the thought of what could happen if even one
sap-covered
vine stayed too long in contact with those
fiery
weapons. In minutes the entire forest would be ablaze,
and the
trees had a lot more to worry about on that score
than we
did. We could always retreat to the gate, and wait
until
sheets of flame cleared the way for us.
"Let's
get out of here fast'",Rikkan Addis called from
up
ahead, his sword still in his fist, and that was an idea
none of
us cared to dispute. The horses leaped ahead when
we put
our heels to their flanks, needing urging from
nothing
but recent memory.
After a
while we reined in the horses from a gallop, but
we
didn't dawdle and I kept the swords of fire whirling
around
over our heads. Some of the forest we rode through
seemed
to—draw away—from the circling swords, but it
was
difficult telling if those parts were merely withdrawing
from
the heat, or would have attacked if we were unpro-
tected.
To be perfectly honest, I had no interest in finding
out;
the thought of hostile vegetation has always been able
to make
me shudder, and I preferred the drain on my
strength
due to keeping the swords above us, to the consid-
eration
of what might come at us if I sent them back to
nothingness.
It
seemed to be only a little past noon when we found a
place
to stop for lunch. Fearless leader had already turned
112
SHARON GREEN
thumbs
down on three previous places, ones he said looked
a
little too pleasant and inviting, but we were all hungry
and the
horses needed to rest and graze. With a great deal
of
reluctance he let us stop in what wasn't really a clear-
ing,
only a place where there were fewer bushes and no
low-hanging
trees, and after he had looked around we
were
allowed to dismount—with strict orders not to wan-
der off
alone for any reason at all. Someone else might
have
felt stupid saying something like that in a place like
the one
we were in, but not ol' fearless leader; looking or
sounding
stupid never seemed to bother him.
It was
time to put a fence around the horses and conjure
us some
food, so I reluctantly let the swords of fire go. 1
could
have maintained mem while doing the rest, but mat
would
have been an even greater drain on strength that was
more
than adequate but still limited. We still had a lot of
hours
left to spend on that world, and no way of knowing
what
was ahead of us.
"I
hope the grass doesn't do them any harm," Rikkan
Addis
muttered^ staring at the horses through the fence I'd
put up
as everyone else gathered around me. This time I'd
erected
a normal fence with a gate that anyone could get
through—just
in case we needed to get to the horses fast
and I
was too occupied with other things to open or banish
a
magical fence. "I don't like or trust anything on this
world."
"That's
why I put my own grass inside the fence," I
said
without more than a glance for him, shaking my head
just a
little as I rubbed at the knots in my shoulder. "Fear
not,
fearless leader, I'm not about to let us get left afoot.
Okay,
now everybody step back a little."
They
all did as I'd instructed, so I spoke the spell that
produced
the nicely stuffed picnic baskets, then gestured to
them to
help themselves. It wasn't exactly a picnic outing
we were
on, but the suggestion couldn't hurt and might
even
help soothe everyone's digestion. The four went to
the two
big baskets and began looking through them, but
there
wasn't anything in the way of joking or light
converation
while they were doing it. There hadn't been
conversation
at alt since me attack, and all of them spent
as much
time looking around as looking at the food.
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
"3
We all
found places in the grass around the baskets, and
once
InThig came-out of the brush to pace silently all
around
us, even Rikkan Addis was able to force himself to
relax
enough to eat something. The vines had gone after
all of
us but me demon, which was, at least to me,
perfectly
understandable. InThig liked its cat-shape and
used it
most of the time, but that didn't mean it was made
of the
same thing real cats were. InThig wasn't usable prey
to the
vines, and they had left it strictly alone. We worked
our way
silently through the sandwiches and ale from the
baskets,
most of us moving from automatic swallowing to
some
small appreciation of what it was we were eating,
and
then InThig stopped beside Rikkan Addis.
"I
would recommend against too lengthy a halt here,"
it
growled, putting those blazing red eyes on the man very
briefly
before letting them go back to random searching.
"There's
something odd about this place I can't quite
pinpoint,
and the feeling grows stronger with each passing
moment.
Perhaps I can't identify it because it's no threat
to a
life form like myself.''
"But
it is a threat to us," Rikkan Addis said at once,
throwing
away what was left of his latest sandwich and
abandoning
his ale as he rose immediately to his feet.
"We'd
be stupid to wait around until it was ready to jump
on us.
Let's get out of here."
Again
no one argued with the suggestion, but even as
we all
climbed to our feet and I banished what was left of
the
food with a gesture, we discovered we were too late.
Su's
breath sucked in with surprise and then she made a
sound
of pain, one which quickly became a scream of
desperation.
She was the only one among us who was
barefoot
and bare-legged, which meant that the things
didn't
have to pass boots and clothing before they reached
flesh.
They came up out of the ground, pale white slugs
that
appeared in the grass then immediately began climb-
ing us,
a squishing sound accompanying them rather than
whining,
an eagerness to cover us in their squirming,
slithering
advance. Soffan Dra screamed too, but not be-
cause
the slugs had reached the tops of her high boots
under
her gown. The scream was just part of the general
reaction
to the swarming things, an equivalent to the sick-
SHARON
GREEN
ened,
cursing shouts of the men as they frantically brushed
at
themselves.
I might
have been on the slow side with the other
attacks,
but slugs and maggots had shared a tot of my food
while I
was growing up, before Morgiana found me. They
were
more familiar to me than they were to most people,
which
meant I didn't waste any time being horrified or
disgusted.
Two words banished the slugs already crawling
on us,
and a word of power forced the ones on the ground
to
freeze where they were. That didn't slop newcomers
from
squeezing up through the grass all around the frozen
ones,
but at least it gave us something of a break. I looked
quickly
around at everyone, seeing how Kadrim had hur-
ried
over to Su and had lifted her quickly off the ground to
keep
her from being covered again, and shouted the single
word,
"Run!"
This
time 1 was obeyed almost before the word was out
of my
mouth, and if we didn't all go at top speed, that was
only
because of what our feet were coming down on. I
banished
the gate to the fence as we struggled through the
mess,
saving us from having to stop and open it or climb
over,
and once inside the fence we found naming but
vegetation
beneath our feet. Whether it was the grass I'd
substituted
for what had originally grown there, or the fact
that
all of us had been outside the fence that had made the
slugs
appear there alone, I didn't know; none of us knew,
but mat
didn't keep us from mounting as fast as we could
and
getting ourselves out of there. I froze the slugs one
more
time before our horses galloped through them, which
kept us
from taking any unwanted company along with us.
We
slowed the horses sooner this time, trying to save
what
was left of their stamina after too short a rest and not
enough
grazing, and it wasn't long before we were glad
we did-
The insect swarms made them bolt even though 1
was
able to screen us from being stung much, and once
we'd
managed to slow them down, they were set off again
by the
fruit suddenly dropped on us as though it were
being
aimed. It's impossible to know how long we went
on like
that, five minutes of peace and twenty of attack,
but I
do remember a lull of sorts, between the birds diving
and the
rootlets reaching for our horses' hooves, of nearly
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
"5
an
hour. Our four sword-wielders spent almost as much
time
and energy defending us as 1 did with magic, but the
one who
seemed to be taking it all the worst was Soffann
Dra.
She had thrown up once we were away from the
slugs,
and continued to look like a powder-pale ghost from
men on.
At
long, long last the forest opened onto a beautiful
meadow
containing manicured grass and a really lovely
stream,
and we six sat our horses staring at it in silence. It
was
late afternoon and we were hot and sweaty from the
heat of
the day, covered in filth from the vines, slugs, fruit
and so
on, bitten and stung, and not far from dropping
from
exhaustion. Aside from that, we didn't trust the look
of the
meadow one little bit; it was too pretty and inviting,
and we
were all remembering the lovely little glade we
would
have ridden through if not for InThig. I shuddered
at the
thought of what the grass in the glade had been
resting
on, and my gray snorted, either in echo or in
sympathy.
*'Su,
do we have any choice about going through it?"
Rikkan
Addis asked after a minute, unfairly sounding as
though
he wasn't tired at all- "We might be better off if
we went
around." *-
"Can't,"
Su answered, sounding more like I felt. "Don't
see the
trail any farther ahead than around to the left of
that
stream. Could be it ends there."
"At
the next gate," Rikkan Addis said, causing some-
thing
of a stir in the rest of us. The second world, accord-
ing to
Graythor, had people, and I'd discovered that I'd
rather
be attacked by people than things any day. Appar-
ently
the others felt the same, but rather than start forward
at
once, Rikkan Addis called softly, "InThig!"
The
demon had been ranging out ahead of us again, but
it came
gliding back at the sound of its name, a big, black
shadow
flowing silently over the grass. InThig wasn't tired
at all,
of course, and it knew exactly why it had been
called.
"I
haven't been able to detect anything of particular
danger,"
it told Rikkan Addis, sitting cat-like as it looked
up at
the man. "Our next gate is not far from that stream,
but for
some reason it seems odd."
n6
SHARON
GREEN
"Odd
in what way?" the man asked, joining everyone
else in
glancing in my direction- I. on the other hand, was
looking
at InThig, dreading what its answer would be but
already
half anticipating it.
"The
gate didn't flare open when I approached it,"
InThig
replied with a puzzled tone in its growl, turning
those
red eyes to meet my gaze. "Gates always open for
me, and
I don't understand what it means."
"It
probably means the gate is timed," I supplied with a
groan,
slumping in my saddle. "We'll have to wait a
certain
amount of time until I can open it, but 1 won't
know
how much time before I See the thing. Graythor
once
told me it has something to do with the positioning of
me
worlds it leads to, when those worlds are more man
usually
far from the world you're leaving. This seems to
be a
giant-step gate, and we can only hope its period is
hours
rather than weeks or months."
That
caused another stir among my companions, this
time
accompanied by echoes of my original groan. We all
wanted
to be off that world, but when we left was no
longer
our choice:
"It
looks like the best thing we can do is get over
there,"
Rikkan Addis decided aloud, his eyes already set
in that
direction. "We'll worry about what to do next if
me
period turns out to be unreasonably long. Before that,
worrying
is a waste of time."
A touch
of his heel sent his roan into a steady lope
toward
the distant gate, InThig stretching just a little to
move
out ahead of him, Su and Soffann Dra following just
behind.
Zail and Kadrim kept to their places to either side
of me,
but there was more of a grimness to them than what
had
been holding them most of the day. They both now
seemed
to consider it a personal insult that we would not
be
leaving that world right away, and I didn't understand
why.
Riding
across the meadow turned out to be totally un-
eventful,
a pleasant change from the way the day had gone
until
then. The stream was beautifully blue and sparkling
with
fluffy bushes of various sizes here and there around
it, but
none of us looked at it too closely as we rode by.
Everyone
was just then more interested in the gate, and
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
II?
most of
mem acted as though they expected to be able to
See it.
Su knew where it was from where the trail ended,
but
Rikkan Addis would have ridden right through the
glowing
slit without knowing it if his roan hadn't slid
sideways
when he tried. He looked around then to see
InThig
stopped in front of the gate and me already begin-
ning to
dismount, and finally got the message.
"How
long before you'll know what its period is?" he
asked
me, backing his roan before starting to dismount. "I
don't
like me way this place feels."
"I'm
afraid you'll just have to live with it for a while,"
I
answered, putting my fists on my hips as I stared at the
glowing
slit. "Its pulse is clearly declining, but it seems to
be on a
short cycle. My guess is it's openable only in the
morning,
so it looks like we'll be spending the night
here."
"Your
guess," he echoed over a few moans and groans
from
the others, his tone dissatisfied. "Is guessing the best
you can
do? Can't you tell me something a little more
concrete?"
"If
you think you can do any better yourself, go right
ahead,"
I offered, waving a hand at the slit with only
some of
the annoyance I was reeling, aiming my head to
look
directly at him. "It so happens 1 wasn't telling you
anything,
just informing the group as a whole, so don't
take
the disappointment so personally. And you don't have
to be
that nervous about spending the night here. Once I
have
our campsite warded, we'll be just fine."
His
head went high as his eyes began to blaze, but 1 was
too hot
and tired to wait for him to come up with words in
response
to what I'd said. I'd used the opportunity to show
the
others how little he had going for him as a leader, but I
wanted
to get our camp set up and provisioned while I still
believed
I had the strength to do it.
For that
reason I turned immediately and walked away
from
all of them, getting straight in my mind how much
room we
would need for me camp, what we wanted to be
in it,
where to put the horses and in what, dozens of items
and
specifics that would then all have to be warded. It was
like
juggling a giant puzzle in my head, all the clues and
answers
in place, all the pieces locking tight, every hint
li8
SHARON
GREEN
and
suggestion picked up and fitted into the pattern; it
wasn't
impossible, only difficult, the sort of difficulty that
had
fascinated and delighted me from the moment I first
began
learning about it. I closed my eyes for a moment,
wishing
there was even a small breeze to cool the air, then
raised
my arms and spoke the spells one after the other-
*'0h,
look!" Soffann Dra gasped, delight in her voice
for the
first time that day. "Look at those beautiful pavil-
ions!
We'll be able to be comfortable tonight!"
There
were murmurs of agreement and approval keeping
her
observations company, and I wondered again why she
always
had to speak in exclamation points. Right then I
was
finding it just short of painful, but that wasn't the
woman's
fault- I sat down in the grass and closed my eyes
again,
but this time so that I could rub them with my
fingers.
"You
all right?" Su's voice asked from above me just
before
her hand touched my shoulder. "Didn't know you
had
enough left to do all that after the kind of day we
had."
"Nothing
to it," I answered, dropping my hands so that
I could
look up at her where she bent over me. "I'll bet I
even
have enough left right now to keep my eyes open
until
I've washed in the stream and maybe had a bite or
two to
eat. How about you?"
"Didn't
think it was worth hoping we could wash," she
said
with a tired grin, crouching so that she could rub at
her leg
more easily. I'd neutralized as much of the slug
venom
in her as I could after we'd ridden away from them,
but her
legs were still marked with painful-looking sores
under
the slime that had been left on her from the slugs*
upward
progress. There hadn't been a word of complaint
out of
her, though, and if 1 hadn't been able to clear and
ward
the stream as well as our camp, she still probably
wouldn't
have said anything.
"It's
always worth hoping you can wash," I told her,
deciding
I really ought to try getting back to my feet. "It
helps
to remind you that stinking and filthy isn't the only
way of
life. Let's get me horses into their pasture, and
then we
can get on with it."
Su nodded
and straightened slowly while I forced my-
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 119
self
back to a standing position, and then we went to take
care of
our mounts. If we'd earned the right to spend the
night
in comfortable pavilions, our horses had also earned
me
right to something special. I'd given mem a fenced-in
pasture
with safe grass and their own piece of stream, a
covered-over
area to sleep in if they wanted to, and a wide
trough
of oats. The pasture had taken more effort than the
pavilions
had, but only because I'm less familiar with
pastures.
Putting up a castle would have been easier, but
horses
aren't known for being partial to castles.
Once we
had the saddles and bridles off our mounts, we
left
them alone to enjoy themselves and went to take care
of
ourselves. The others had spent some time looking into
the
targe silk pavilions before leading their mounts to the
pasture,
and the only one still in hers was Soffann Dra.
Good
old fearless leader was taking care of her horse for
her so
that she could continue inspecting to her heart's
delight,
which was exactly what she was doing. None of
them
had had any trouble figuring out which pavilion
belonged
to whom, not when I'd matched them to the
color
of the horse each rode, and the small woman seemed
as
pleased with her white tent as she was with her white
mount. »,
My own
gray pavilion stood between Su's brown and
white
one and Kadrim's golden one, all segments of the
large
circle the six tents were formed into. On Su's other
side
was Soffann Dra in white, on Kadrim's Zail in black,
and
between Zail and the small woman, Rikkan Addis in
red. If
I'd been even a little less tired the red tent would
have
come equipped with several special features, but
fearless
leader had gotten lucky with the sort of day we'd
had.
Maybe next time the luck would be on my side.
Considering
the state of my clothes and boots, I walked
no
farther onto the carpeting of my pavilion than was
necessary
to reach the soap and drying cloth, and then I
hurried
back out. Su took only a moment longer to get her
own
things, but she didn't turn immediately toward the
stream
with me; she hesitated very briefly, then without a
backward
glance walked over to Soffan Dra's tent.
"Thought
you might like to come with us to the stream
to
wash," she said, looking through the open fold in the
120
SHARON GREEN
silk
without taking her bedraggled condition inside.'' Lacici
made it
safe for us, so we might as weH all Jump in."
*'0h,
I'd love to," the small woman's voice came, and
then
she was hurrying out with her drying cloth and soap
in her
hands, a warmer, truer smile on her face man I'd
ever
seen before. The smile, though, turned out to be for
Su;
when she saw me watching her it faltered, and then it
was
gone entirely. "On second thought, maybe I'll rest a
while
first and go to the stream later," she said, quickly
moving
those pretty green eyes back to Su while trying to
revive
at least a portion of the smile. "Thanks anyway for
asking
me."
"Wait,"
I said as she began to turn back to me tent,
speaking
before 1 could stop myself. "If you fall asleep
and
don't make it to the stream, you'll wake up in the
morning
with clean, new clothes and nothing but a body
covered
with half of what we went through today to put
into
them. I think you'd better—come with us now, and
leave
the resting for later."
She
looked at. me in silence for a moment, her pretty
face
sober, and it was almost as though she knew how
embarrassed
I felt. Then a good part of the warm smile
came
back, and she nodded once as her arm tightened
around
the drying cloth.
"Thank
^ou," she said, turning to share the smile and
words
with Su as well. "I'd be very pleased to go to the
stream
with you."
With
that settled we moved off between two of the
pavilions
and headed for the stream, but not the section
immediately
behind the silk tents. I directed my two com-
panions
to the left, more toward the gate, where I'd thick-
ened
the bushes into a screen that would even let us swim
a
little without being seen. We all walked along in silence,
theirs
probably a good deal more comfortable than mine,
and
just as we reached the opening in the bushes, Soffann
Dra put
her hand on my arm.
"I
know you don't like me and didn't really want me
along,''
she said, looking up at me with what seemed to be
difficulty.
"I wanted you to know how much I appreciate
your
asking me anyway. It was a very nice thing to do."
"1
don't dislike you." I protested, feeling my cheeks
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 121
go
warm, especially when I saw the faint smile Su wore
where
she stood behind the smaller woman. "I just don't—
make
friends with women very easily, and we haven't
really
had much of a chance to get acquainted. I didn't
mean to
make you feel—unwelcome."
"Well,
at least I wasn't feeling as unwelcome as Rik,"
she
said with more of a smile, one hand going up to pat at
her
hair. "I'm more or less used to cool receptions from
women,
but I don't think he is. You two really got off on
the
wrong foot, didn't you?"
"If
you're going to talk about 'Rik*, I withdraw my
invitation,"
I said, suddenly feeling more annoyed man
embarrassed.
Su had changed her smile to chuckling, which
made it
even worse. "If I knew for sure it was going to
rain, I
would have put up only five pavilions—or given his
a leaky
roof. And speaking of water, do you think we can
get a
little closer to the stream? Washing from this distance
without
magic won't accomplish very much."
"But
I'm really curious about why you don't like him,"
she
said with a laugh, turning to keep me in sight as I
walked
around her, then hurrying after me through the
opening
in the bushes. "You get along well enough with
Kadrim
and Zail; why not Rik^"
"Kadrim
is a friend, and Zail is nice," I said over my
shoulder
without slowing, knowing beyond doubt that Su
was
also following—and still chuckling. "Our fearless
leader
Rik is neither, and now I'd like to talk about
something
else.''
"Oh,
this is wonderful," Soffann Dra said, diverted at
last by
the large area I'd screened off. "There must be
enough
room here for at least fifty people, and you made
the
grass softer all the way to the stream. I don't know
how you
do it, but I'm certainly glad you do. And in case
you
didn't know, he hates that name."
I had
stopped not far from the stream bank and was just
beginning
to try stretching some of the aches and tiredness
out of
my body, which probably accounted for the reason I
spoke
without first stopping to think.
"Who
hates what name?" I asked, reaching wide toward
the
hot, late afternoon sun. "I know I'm tired, Soffann
Dra,
but I'm not following you at all,"
SHARON
GREEN
122
"You
don't have to be that formal," she said with a
dimpled
smile, sitting down to my left and raising the
bottom
of her gown to reach her boot laces. "You can
both
call me Dranna, the way my family did. And the
name
I'm talking about is 'fearless leader*. Rik knows you
call
him that, and he hates it."
"Oh,
isn't that too bad," 1 said in a very sympathetic
way,
feeling considerably better as I joined—Dranna—on
the
grass to get rid of my own boots. "But doesn't he
realize
he ought to be happy with what he has? There are a
lot
worse things to call someone, which he may yet find
out."
"Wouldn't
push it too far without thinking about it, if I
were
you," Su put in, standing to Dranna's left and loos-
ening
her hair. "You jump on a man's dignity too hard
and too
often, and he just might decide to jump back."
"And
then Zail and Kadrim will probably get involved,"
Dranna
added while I frowned at Su, the small woman's
voice
more sober than it had been. "Normally, I don't
think
either one would challenge Rik, but if you get him
mad
enough to come down on you, they might be forced
into
it."
"That's
idiotic," I said after me briefest hesitation,
addressing
both of mem. "No one is stupid enough to get
into an
argument with a sorceress, not even Rik. And as
far as
Kadrim and Zail go, there's no reason for them to
get
involved. They both know I can take care of myself, so
why
would they bother?"
They
both looked at me then. Su with a faint smile of
amusement,
Dranna with a searching stare, and then the
small
woman shook her head with a sigh.
"You
really don't know, do you?" she said, green eyes
still
searching my face. "I'm not all that much older than
you,
but suddenly I feel ancient. Don't you know anything
about
men?"
"How
much is there to know about them?" I came
back,
enough of the discomfort returning so that I got to
my feet
to begin taking off my clothes. "They're people
just
like everyone else, and some you like and some you
don't.
What's so complicated about that?"
"I
think I understand now why they find you so fasci-
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
123
nating,"
she said with another sigh, pushing her boots to
one
side and rising to her feet. "I'm just glad you don't
get
along with Rik. Taking another woman's leavings isn't
what
I'm used to, but at this point I can't afford to be
critical.
Not that I'd be critical of Rik under any circum-
stances.
I happen to like him and find him very attractive,
and he
even understands."
"Understands
what?" I asked automatically, wondering
why she
kept talking in circles and changing subjects.
"And
you haven't said why you think Kadrim and Zail
would
involve themselves in my argument with fearless
leader."
"Rik
understands how horribly helpless I feel," she
said
with another dimpled smile, glancing up at me as her
hands
reached to her gown front and began opening it. "I
knew
from the start that I didn't really belong on this
quest,
but I had no choice about going. I'm the only one of
us
who's absolutely helpless, the only one who can't do
more
than shiver through an attack and pray we survive.
It's
terrible not being able to fight back, but 1 don't know
how to,
and haven't the courage for it in any event. Rik
understands
that 1 wasn't meant for a life like this, and
he's
patient rather than criticaL Something like that means
a lot
to someone like me."
"Men
do more, sometimes, from feeling than they do
from
thinking," Su put in, some of her words muffled in
the
folds of her yellow leather shirt as she pulled it off
over
her head. "Lot of the time the doing is nice, like the
way Rik
is with Dranna, but sometimes it's dumb, like the
way
Zait and Kadrim would be if they thought Rik might
hurt
you. They don't want you getting hurt, girl, and they
won't
take the chance it might happen. That's why they'd
step
into the argument."
"That
really would be stupid," I said, growing annoyed
again
under her calm stare. "What's wrong with those
two?
Don't they understand I can take care of myself?"
"I
don't think you'll find a man alive anywhere who's
willing
to consider a woman built the way you are, as able
to take
care of herself," Dranna said with an amused
laugh,
tossing her gown aside as she glanced at me. "Well,
come
on! Let's get to the washing."
SHARON
GREEN
124
She ran
forward with small, graceful steps to the edge of
the
stream bank, Su following at a more leisurely pace,
both of
them ignoring the tinge of red I was sure they
could
see all over me. What did what I looked like have to
do with
whether or not I could take care of myself? If
being
Sighted and powerful depended on what you looked
like,
half the wizards in the world would be too untalented
to so
much as light a match—and that included Morgiana-
As
small as she was, she'd never even be able to—
I cut
off the internal debate with a kick at the pile of my
dirty
clothes, forced to admit that if I'd said any of that
arguing
aloud, I would have been wasting the breath.
Although
I couldn't imagine why, 1 wasn't so dense that 1
didn't
know Zail and Kadrim had been fighting over me
just
before the first attack. They were behaving the way
warlock
apprentices and sorcerers—and even a few male
wizards—behaved
around me witch apprentice Nedra, and
I
didn't know how to cope with that. It was something that
had
never happened to me before, and wasn't as enjoyable
as
Nedra seemed to find it. I was very glad that Zail had
found a
reason to be attracted, but Kadrim, although very
handsome,
was only a boy, and I didn't want them fight-
ing,
especially not against fearless leader—
"Damn,"
I said under my breath, adding a few street
words
inside my head, where I'd learned to keep them
because
of Morgiana. None of it was working out right,
not the
way it did in books. The quest wasn't a lark or a
fun adventure,
it was a race to save a world and its people;
the
most attractive man around there was too busy being
alert
against attack to pay any real attention to me, and me
first
assignation I'd ever had was with a boy I wanted
nothing
more from than friendship—but who seemed to
want
more from me. On top of that, I still hadn't figured
out a
way to take over leadership of the expedition, and
that
alone was enough to make me depressed. Su and
Dranna
were already splashing around in the water, so I
took my
jar of soap and went morosely to join them. If I
was
going to mope, 1 might just as well do it clean.
The
stream water was blue-green and delicious, so cool
and
refreshing that I spent some time swimming in the
light
current rather than immediately beginning to bathe.
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
125
Because
of that, Su and Dranna were already back on the
bank
and drying by the time 1 got to washing. They
offered
to wait until I was finished, but that would have
left
mem standing in their drying cloths while I hurried to
get
clean, and we were all too tired for standing or hurry-
ing. I
told them I would be perfectly fine and that there
were
soft lounging robes waiting for them in their pavil-
ions,
and those two items of assurance and information
helped
make up their minds. They carefully gathered up
their
filthy clothes—keeping them well away from their
now-clean
bodies—and their soap jars, and left the wash-
ing
area to the one who had formed it.
I took
my time with the washing, delighting, as always,
in the
feeling of being really clean, and then I left the
stream
to take up my drying cloth. It was getting a good
deal
closer to sundown by then, and I stood all alone in the
middle
of the large, bush-screened area, the very soft grass
cradling
my feet, looking out over the stream toward the
far
bank and the forest there, the long, thick drying cloth
held in
front of me while I patted at my face with it. The
sun was
just above the trees and flaming out its anger over
being
forced to abandon its realm to darkness, the sullen
red
painful to the eyes but forcing a soothing, quiet calm
on
everything that would soon become part of the silence
of
night. 1 loved the look of sundown and the view of it
from
that spot was magnificent, a view of peace that that
world
more than owed us. It was . . .
"That's
not fair," a voice said suddenly from behind
me,
unexpectedly close behind me. "The scenery in this
part of
the stream is much nicer than in ours."
I
whirled immediately to see Zail, standing no more
man
five feet away, his drying cloth wrapped around his
middle,
his smooth chest bare except for that small, golden
medallion,
his arms folded easily and comfortably before
him.
Strands of wet, dark hair fell on his forehead over
those
pretty gray eyes, and when I realized his faintly
amused
stare was resting on me rather than on the sunset,
it came
to me with a shock that the entire back of me was
bare!
"Zail,
you're not supposed to be here!" I blurted.
feeling
my cheeks going red as fluster covered me a lot
126
SHARON GREEN
more
thoroughly than the drying cloth did. "You have to
leave.
. . !"
"But
why?" he interrupted to ask, his faint grin amused
as he
unfolded his arms and began to move slowly toward
me.
"You don't think I'd hurt you, do you?"
"Well,
no, of course not," I stumbled, still blushing
and
horribly upset, my hands clutching the drying cloth to
my
throat, my feet desperate to back away from his ad-
vance.
"But I really don't. . ."
"The
water has made your hair a little darker," he
observed,
stopping in front of me to raise one hand to the
dripping
strands. "I like it better when it's dry, pale and
soft as
silk, draping your shoulders like a priceless fur.
And
your eyes are the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen,
light
and very deep, drawing me closer like twin, exqui-
sitely
matched jewels. I could never hurt anything as
perfect
as you, Laciel. You believe mat, don't you?"
He was
looking down into my eyes, his body no more
than a
breath away from mine, his hand still touching my
hair,
and once again I found that the ability to speak had
abandoned
me. Of course I knew he wasn't going to hurt
me, but
my heart still hammered inside my chest, setting
all of
me to trembling with the heavy thud of it, and 1
couldn't
fight my way through me shivering confusion his
nearness
caused. I wanted to ask him to turn his back until
I got
the drying cloth wrapped completely around me, but
I just
couldn't do it.
"Of
course you believe me," he murmured, sending a
glow
through all of me with his warm, beautiful smile.
"You
know I'd never lie to someone who obviously sun-
bathes
rather often with no clothes on."
His
smile turned to a grin and laughter when my face
flamed
to an even hotter red and 1 looked down with a
horribly
embarrassed, "Oh!" but his amusement wasn't
mocking.
It was a clear attempt to share something inti-
mate,
and when his hand came gently to my chin, I found
out
what that something was.
"Close,
personal friends never have to be shy with one
another,
lovely girl," he said, making me look up to see
that
the warm smile was back. "And besides, you have
nothing
to be embarrassed about." •
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 127
His head
lowered toward mine then, and until it hap-
pened I
didn't understand that he was going to kiss me. 1
wasn't
innocent, not at all, not even if I had never been
kissed
like that before; it was just that 1 hadn't expected
him to
kiss me while I was soaking wet and practically
naked.
With his warm, gentle lips on mine it came to me
that
his arms were also around me, holding me tight to his
body,
my own arms a flimsy and ignored barrier between
us. I
should have been struggling to push him away,
telling
him how improper that was, but all I could do was
stand
there and begin to really taste the kiss he was giving
me.
"You
know something?" he said very softly when he
finally
let the kiss end, his strong arms still firmly around
me.
"You're delicious as well as delightful, and I'm very
glad
you made this place so private. It's perfect for giving
each
other a very special gift, one mat can be exchanged
again
and again and again, and be more precious each time
it is.
We're going to give each other that gift now, aren't
we?"
He had
asked me another question, but I knew without
doubt
that he was going to answer it for me just the way he
had
done with the other. One of his hands was on the bare
flesh
of my back, moving slowly, in soft circles, and I
found
that I really did want him to answer the question for
me. I
felt terribly odd, and my breathing was more uneven
than it
had been at any time that day, and 1 couldn't bear
the
thought of his letting me go. . . .
"Sony
to interrupt, but I'm afraid I have something
rattier
important to discuss," a voice came suddenly, star-
tling
Zail as well as me. "I would have waited, but this
has
waited too long already."
"Come
on, Rik, give me a break!" Zail protested,
running
a hand through his still-wet hair as he looked at
the
other man in exasperation. "Another hour or so won't
make
that much of a difference, and I promise I'll come
straight
to your tent after ..."
"Sorry,
Zail," the miserable, low intruder said again,
his
bronze eyes looking as though they were struggling to
keep
from being amused. "The discussion I have sched-
uled
isn't with you, it's with her. I'm sure you understand."
128
SHARON
GREEN
Zail
hesitated at that, his body stiffening slightly, his
expression
going neutral but faintly guarded. He stared at
Rik in
silence for a moment, then shrugged in an off-hand
way.
"Well,
if it's that important, 1 suppose I can wait a little
while,"
he grudged, really trying to sound unconcerned.
"Go
ahead and get it done."
"Zail,
privately," Rikkan Addis said, his voice soft and
unexcited,
his body tall and shoulders straight. He was
wrapped
in a drying cloth just the way Zail was, but
somehow
he gave the impression of being fully clothed
and
well armed. Zail stiffened even more at the two calm
words,
and suddenly 1 realized what Su and Dranna had
said
was true.
"Zail,
it's all right," I said quickly, reaching one hand
to his
arm before remembering about the cloth I held and
bringing
it hurriedly back. "I'm sure mis will only take a
minute,
and then you can come back. I'll send a bird to
your
pavilion."
He
looked startled as he glanced at me, obviously hav-
ing
forgotten that I was a sorceress, but the reminder
reassured
him just the way I'd intended it to. He nodded
once,
as though to something he was thinking, men turned
back to
kiss me lightly -
"1*11
be waiting and listening for the flutter of wings,"
he
murmured, touching one hand to my face. "Try not to
be too
hard on him."
He seemed
to find a lot of amusement in mat comment,
so much
mat he actually nodded pleasantly to his good
friend
Rik as he headed for the exit through the bushes.
Said
good friend nodded back and waited until he was out
of
sight and the sound of footsteps had faded, and then his
attention
was all mine.
"Okay.
now that we're alone I have a question," he
began,
his voice and stare equally direct. "How long do
you
..."
"If
you don't mind, I'd like to get just a little more
comfortable
before we start this discussion," I said, find-
ing a
lot less satisfaction in interrupting him than he had
undoubtedly
gotten from interrupting Zail and me. "If
you'll
turn your back, it will only take a moment." .
THE PAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 129
"It's
hard to see how you can get more comfortable
man
that," he observed dryly, for an instant looking as
though
he were about to refuse, those eyes moving slowly
over
me. Then he turned himself around, his back and
shoulders
to me rather than his face, and I lost no time
wrapping
the drying cloth firmly around me. I hadn't liked
the way
he'd looked at me, and decided not to let it go by
unnoticed.
"AH
right, you can turn around again," I said, ready,
now, to
give him a piece of my mind. "And before we go
any
further, let me tell you a thing or two ..."
"Hold
it!" he snapped, raising a finger to point at me
even
before he was fully turned, those bronze-colored eyes
filled
with a new expression. "Since this discussion was
my
idea, we'll start with what / have to say. As I was
about
to ask you before, how long do you expect to keep
this
up?"
"Keep
what up?" I demanded with a frown, having no
idea
what he was talking about. "You are the rudest, most
insolent
man 1 have ever ..."
"I
also happen to be the leader of this expedition," he
cut in,
still angry. "That's the part you seem to be having
no
trouble overlooking, and I've had enough of it. The
wizard
told me to give you time to get used to the idea, but
he
didn't say 1 had to put up with your nonsense until the
quest
was over. Now: are you going to back off and
behave
yourself, or do we have to settle this another
way?"
He had
moved slowly forward toward me until he stood
no more
than five feet away, the same distance Zail had
started
from a few moments earlier. Despite my fluster I
hadn't
really minded having Zail that close, but the feeling
wasn't
the same with this man. His shoulders were too
broad,
and his upper body and arms were too well-muscled,
and he
was looking down at me with a directness that
made me
want to bare my teeth. He was trying to take
something
that was mine with words instead of ability, and
he'd
never live to see the day I'd let him get away with that.
"Settling
this shouldn't be hard at all," I told him,
folding
my arms over the drying cloth as I looked up to
meet
his gaze, "All you have to do is step down to the
130
SHARON
GREEN
place
you belong in, and there'll never be another harsh
word
exchanged between us. I'm the proper leader of this
expedition,
and there's nothing you can do to aiter that."
He
stared at me in surprised silence for a moment, his
fingers
on his hips near the top of his drying cloth, quite a
lot of
his anger having disappeared, and then he shook his
head
with what seemed like confusion.
"You
sound like you didn't hear a word the wizard
said,"
he observed, those eyes now studying rather than
staring.
"We were all given our places on this expedition,
and
yours wasn't leader. I've spent the last ten years leading
men
into battle from one side of my world to the other: it's
what I
was born to do, what i was raised and trained to do.
What
makes you think you could do it better?"
There
was nothing but mildly curious questioning to his
words,
nothing of anger, nothing defensive. His self-
assurance
was as thick as a stone wall, presented to the
world
without chink or crack, so uncaring about belief that
belief
was the first thing it engendered. He thought he
knew
where he. stood and thought he was weil-rooted, but
that
was not going to turn me defensive.
*'I
don't think I can do better, 1 know it," I came back,
raising
my chin just a little. "Magic users are traditional
leaders
of expeditions, because of the very fact that they
are
magic users. Are you silly enough to think that having
hordes
of people following you around makes you special?
Only
special abilities can do that, and you don't have any.
This
quest means a lot to me, and I'm not about to see it
fail
because of inadequate leadership. Don't you think our
objective
is a little more important than your puffed-up
pride?
Wouldn't it be better to step aside now, to make
sure we
don't fail, than to keep a death-grip on what
Graythor
mistakenly ordered? He may be a very powerful
wizard
but he's also very old, and age has a way of
making
you do things you would never do in more clear-
headed
moments. The best thing you can do now, for
everyone's
sake, is step quietly and gracefully aside."
"I
see," he murmured, folding his arms the way mine
were
folded, what seemed like real amusement beginning
to show
in his eyes. "You have more special talent than I
do, so
you should be leader. But as I see it, your special
131
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
talents
are already being put to use for the good of the
group;
do you mean to say you're holding something back,
something
you'll use only if everyone lets you be leader?"
"No,
that's not what I'm saying!" I protested, shocked
that
he'd suggest I'd do something like that. "1 told you
how
important this quest is to me! Holding back would be
nothing
less than sabotage against everything we're trying
to
accomplish! I could never ..."
"And
what about handling the natures of our compan-
ions?"
he asked, giving me no chance to finish what I'd
been
saying. "In what way do your special talents give
you the
ability to calm Kadrim's urge to take on every
attacker
single-handedly, to hold down Zail's penchant for
looking
for trouble just for the sake of the lift it gives him,
to keep
Su from sacrificing herself on behalf of someone
she
considers a friend, or to let Dranna know she's a full,
accepted
and acceptable member of this expedition? Would
you put
a restraining spell on them, limiting the abilities
we so
desperately need from them?"
"No,
1 wouldn't put a restraining spell on them," I
said,
beginning to feel confused from everything he was
throwing
at me. "And how do you know about restraining
spells?
The others know almostJiothing about ..."
"Then
how would you handle them?" he asked, and I
suddenly
noticed that there was more—firmness—now in
his
whole attitude. "What would you do if Kadrim and
Zail
started a fight over you? Wall them off from one
another?
When they might have to fight to save each
other's
lives at any given moment? And how would you
keep Su
from standing in front of you again, the way she
did at
the fair, without hurting her by saying you don't
need
her protection? Dranna doesn't trust other women,
not
after all the times they've turned on her, and she's had
a bad
experience with magic. How do you plan on putting
her at
ease? How will you ..."
"Stop
it!" I shouted, furious at the way he kept ham-
mering
at me, refusing to let me think. "You're just trying
to
confuse me! You know [ can do a better job than you're
doing,
but stubbornness won't let you admit it! You're
trying
to talk me out of it , . ."
"And
how will you handle me?" he asked, plowing
132
SHARON GREEN
calmly
on as though I hadn't said a word. "What if I call
you
cute names, and insult you, and flatly refuse to ac-
knowledge
your orders, just the way you've been doing
with
me? How will that make you look in front of the
others?"
"You'd
do that just to make me look bad?" I de-
manded,
feeling my hands cur! up into fists at my sides.
"Of
all the low, vile, cowardly things to. . . !"
"But
that is what you've been doing with me, isn't it?'
he
pursued, still held by that maddening calm. "If you can
do it,
why can't I? All I'd have to do would be to
comment
on the truth. I could let your nickname be 'lovely
legs'
or 'cute round-bottom', for instance, and mention
that
following you is a pleasure, since following is usually
done
from behind. That sort of disrespect is guaranteed to
make
trouble at the worst possible time; when one person
in a
group does it and gets away with it, the others can't
help
but wonder how far they can go. Wondering usually
leads
to trying, and the next attack can find everyone
doing
something different, something that could turn out to
be
fatally foolish. The wizard said that under no circum-
stances
were you to be leader; how would you feel if
someone
died because you tried it anyway?"
"No!"
I whispered, shaking my head, so horribly upset I
didn't
know what to say or do. How could he say that / would
be
responsible for the death of one of the others? Just
because
I'd been calling him fearless leader? Just because
I'd—
"You're lying! Nothing like that could happen!"
"Couldn't
it?" he asked, now more steady and grim
man
calm. "Five minutes ago, Zail was closer to challeng-
ing me
than he would have even considered being when
this
quest first began. He's not only feeling possessive
about
you, he's starting to lose respect for me, and Kadrim's
not far
behind him. That's your doing, and one way or
another
it's going to stop now. I don't want to have to hurt
one of
them just because it's been too long since the last
time
somebody took the trouble to teach you about the
right
and wrong ways of doing things. Sniping from be-
hind is
not the way to make yourself a leader, especially
when
you're not qualified for the position. From now on
you'll
behave yourself, or you'll be very sorry you didn't."
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
133
"Not
qualified!" I breathed in true fury as he turned
away
from me, obviously ending the discussion because
he'd
said all he wanted to! Everything he'd thrown at me
had had
the purpose of rattling and distracting me, to push
me off
balance and keep me from demanding what was
mine by
right! Old fearless leader certainly did have a way
with
words, but unfortunately for him some of them had
really
been the wrong ones. It so happened I did know
how to
challenge for me leadership of a group, and the
proper
time had just presented itself.
I
really had very little strength left for magical effort,
but I
couldn't use magic against Rikkan Addis and didn't
even
want to. What I wanted was to get a little more
personal,
not to mention physical, and a single word took
care of
the requirements for that. I tightened my grip about
the
hard round stick I'd called into being, seeing my
opponent
stop short when the second one appeared directly
in
front of him in the grass at his feet, then began moving
toward
him.
"In
the packs, that's the weapon used during a chal-
lenge,"
I told his back, starting to feel again the way I had
all
those long years ago. "1 got to be pretty good at it, but
don't
let that frighten you. Justpick it up and turn around
and
fight."
"What
do you think I am?" he asked with a snort,
starting
to turn back to me without even trying to reach for
the
stick. "I don't fight females, and especially not with
a—Oof!"
The air
whooshed out of him when I jabbed him side-
ways,
hard, right in the middle, even before he was com-
pletely
turned around. He bent over with the pain and
surprise
of it, wrapping his arms around himself, doing no
better
than I'd thought he would.
"What
I think you are is a fool," I said, remembering
how
good the taste of victory was. "You don't talk when
you're
supposed to be fighting, and you don't simply
dismiss
a challenge. Pick up the stick, fearless leader, or
I'll
knock you sillier than you are naturally."
He
raised his head so those bronze eyes could find me
again,
his expression full of more mad than had been in it
back at
the fair. I was certain he would go for the stick
SHARON
GREEN
134
then.
but some people are incapable of doing things right.
Something
very like a growl came from his throat, and
then he
was launching himself directly at me.
When
I'd been leader of our pack, no one had ever
come at
me without the challenge stick. I hesitated no
more
than a very brief time, but that was more than long
enough
for that miserable man to reach me- He threw his
arms
around me and pulled me down to the ground even as
1 beat
at his back with the stick, but he ignored the blows in
a way
no one had ever done before. The grass was very
soft
but the weight of his body wasn't, and 1 was gasping
for the
breath knocked out of me even as I struggled to get
loose.
I brought up the stick and fried for his head despite
being
mostly pinned under him, but he ducked that dark-
haired
head aside and grunted as he took the blow on his
shoulder,
and then his hands were on my wrist. I cried out
as his
fingers began twisting my arm, finding it hard to
believe
he seemed to be using only a fraction of his
strength.
None of the boys in the pack had been that much
stronger
than me, not any of them, and 1 couldn't keep my
hand
from opening and letting the stick slide out of my
grip.
Once it had slipped to the grass he took it and threw
it
away. and then those blazing bronze eyes were looking
straight
down at me.
"I
think you can consider this challenge as having been
answered."
he said, his voice still very angry despite its
evenness,
his big hands clamped to my arms to keep me
from
beating at him with fists- "If you ever raise a weapon
like
that to me again 1 will answer in kind, no matter what
it does
to that overblown ego of yours. I'm not a child,
I'm a
man, and having bested boys doesn't mean you can
do the
same with me. And you should have listened when
1 told
you to behave yourself; now you're going to get
what
you've been begging for."
"What
do you mink you're going to do to me?" I
demanded,
struggling against the impossible strength in
those
hands as he began to get up and pull me with him.
"Do
you think I've never been beaten up before, that I'll
start
sniveling and crawling once it's done? If you're smart
you'll
let me go now, or next time it'll be my turn."
"You've
already had all the turns you're going to get,"
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
135
he
said, yanking me to my feet by the wrists as though I
weighed
nothing at all. "And I'm not in the habit of
beating
up women, no matter how obviously they seem to
expect
it of me. What I'm going to do is take the wizard's
advice
and do what he did to civilize you, when you were
fresh
from the life of a gutter rat. That ought to serve the
purpose."
1 don't
really know if the blood drained from my cheeks
or
rushed to them at that, but 1 do know how shocked and
embarrassed
I felt. Graythor had told him that, an absolute
stranger
and one I hated? As he began drawing me closer I
kicked
at him and fought to get loose, but I had never had
to
fight against strength like this, and the kicking didn't
seem to
bother him. He was going to do it, he was really
going
to do it, but if he did I'd die of mortification! ! had
to stop
him, even if it meant using magic, but I couldn't
use
magic without activating Graythor's spelt! One of his
arms
went around my waist as I fought harder and even
more
wildly—and then suddenly he was standing com-
pletely
still.
"What
in hell is that?" he demanded in a low, disbe-
lieving
voice, one that compelled me to look up. The
breath
caught in my throat when 1 saw what he had, and I
felt a
sudden chill in the pleasant warmth of the early
evening.
We'd been interrupted at the best possible time,
but it wasn't
likely to turn out to be in the best possible
way,
The
thing stood in front of the bushes farthest away
from
us, what would have been to the left as you entered
the
area and faced the water. Some of the bushes were still
vibrating
where it had pushed itself through them, under-
standable
in view of the*size of the thing. Every inch of it
was a
pure, sparkling white, its skin and fur both, the
space
around its madly glaring yellow eyes, the rows of
long,
sharp teeth showing in its snarling mouth, the needle-
pointed
talons at the ends of its four feet. It had no tail to
speak
of but it did have leg spurs, big yellow ones that
complimented
its claws/and they moved just a little as it
flexed
its talons into the grass while staring at Rikkan
Addis
and me.
"It
doesn't matter what it is," I answered after swal-
136 SHARON GREEN
lowing
just a little, staring back at the thing. "What does
matter
is where it could have come from. If it had been
here
when I warded this place, it would have been pushed
out by
the warding spell. How could it have gotten back
in?"
"That's
an even better question," he agreed, letting go
of my
wrists and beginning to slide his arm from around
my
waist. "And the next one has to be—Look out!"
The
thing launched itself at us with such speed that !
was
frozen in place by shock, but the attack didn't affect
Rikkan
Addis in quite the same way. His hand came up
and
shoved me violently to the right, so hard that 1 went
stumbling
and sprawling to the grass, and then he was
diving
to the left, getting himself out of the way just as he
had
already done with me. The white intruder raged through
the
space where we'd been standing and finally stopped to
whirl
about with a snarl, furious that its claws hadn't been
able to
find flesh and blood, its mad yellow eyes glaring
all
around. It looked at me, and then it looked to where
Rikkan
Addis had rolled in the grass and up to one knee,
and
then it made up its mind. With another snarl of
kill-lust,
it went after the man.
My
heart was hammering and my hip hurt from the way
I'd
fallen, but that didn^ keep me from speaking a spelt
designed
to smash the thing instantly. The gesture capping
the
spell threw the beast to one side with a scream of pain,
but as
far as being smashed goes, it wasn't. I'd been afraid
it was
that kind of life form, the kind that needs immense
power
to destroy it, and suddenly 1 felt like trembling- I
didn't
have that sort of power left, and Rikksn Addis was
unarmed.
We were helpless before it, and it was going to
kill
us!
"I
can't stop it!" I called to the man in a voice that
wasn't
as steady as it should have been, starting to gel to
my feet
as the white beast shook itself to throw off the
pain
I'd given it. "All I can do is hold it off for a while,
but
that should give you time to get the others. Hurry!"
The
white beast glared malevolent hatred at me, as
though
it knew that 1 was the one who had given it pain,
but it
didn't come for me as I'd expected it to do when I'd
stood
up. Its look of hatred had a sense of patience to it, as
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
137
though
it knew it would have no trouble taking me later,
when it
had the time, but just then it had a more pressing
objective.
It bared its fangs in a silent snarl of vengeance
promised—and
then turned again toward its first choice in
prey.
I'd
expected Rikkan Addis to do as I'd said and go after
the
others, but when I turned to look where the beast was
looking
I saw that he hadn't moved except to stand straight.
!
moaned inwardly to see him still there, not knowing how
long 1
could hold off the white beast if it kept attacking,
and
then I noticed that something strange was happening.
The
man's bronze eyes were glowing brighter and brighter,
so
bright that the glow was beginning to spread to all of
him,
and in the glow he was—changing' One instant a
man
stood there and the next there was a giant bronze
beast
in his place, with nothing left to show that the man
had
been there except for a discarded drying cloth lying in
the
grass. The bronze beast was almost as large as the
white
one, and this time when the intruder attacked, there
was no
attempt made to get out of its way.
The two
beasts came together with a thud and the sort of
snarling
growls I'd never heard before in all my life, true
challenge
given and answered inlhe most basic way possi-
ble.
Claws raked and fangs stashed,'the grass tore out by
the
roots under their churning feet, and then they were
rolling
over and over, first one on top and then the other.
Any
other two beasts fighting like that would have been
shredded
to ribbons instantly by the terrible violence and
ferocity,
but although there were streaks and lines of red
on both
white fur and bronze, neither beast seemed to
notice
it. They were engaged in a fight to the death, and
wounds
could be worried about by the one to survive.
I had
heard about people with link-shapes, but I had
never
before seen the transition and results, nor had I ever
seen
one of those link-shapes engaged in that kind of a
fight.
From the way it had started I'd expected the meeting
to be
noisy, but aside from panting and grunting and heavy
thrashing
around, the fight was nearly silent. Each was
trying
to bite the throat out of the other, or claw its way
through
to a vital organ, and they had no time or energy
for
sound effects. The only time I had ever seen savagery
138
SHARON
GREEN
like
theirs had been during my time in the streets, a part of
a very
small number of those who haunted the alleys and
gutters.
That sort either went on to make their presence felt
by the
entire city, or died by the same savagery they,
themselves,
produced; but whichever way it went, no one
ever
entirely forgot them.
The
white beast howled suddenly and threw itself away
from
the bronze, and in its hurry to back off I could see it
was
limping badly. Its right foreleg was torn and bleeding,
possibly
even broken, and the beast knew exactly what
that
meant. Only in perfect condition did it have a hope of
besting
the bronze link-beast, and it was no longer in that
kind of
condition; it was now only a matter of time before
it
died. With that realization blazing full in its yellow eyes,
it
turned with the sort of speed it had shown at first, and
launched
itself directly at me.
I can't
say I wasn't expecting the attack, but expecting
something
doesn't make you able to stop it. I spoke me
smashing
spell a second time, but this time the capping
gesture
did no more than make it scream, nothing to stop
its
racing advance. The bronze beast was right behind it,
easily
matching its speed, but he had been caught by
surprise
when the white beast had turned from him, and
there
was no way he could reach it and stop it before it got
to me.
I stood in what felt like a dream as the two rushed
toward
me in slow motion, the white form out ahead and
certain
to stay that way. the bronze straining every muscle
in its
body in useless effort, no time to throw myself aside
and out
of the way. All I could do was stand there and
silently
curse myself for letting my strength and power
drain
so far, and then the white form leaped, triumph in its
yellow
eyes. If 1 had been capable of it 1 would have
screamed
as I fell backward and would have closed my
eyes—but
then I would have missed the savage streak of
black
hurtling in front of me.
By the
time I hit the grass and was able to twist around,
there
was a second fight already in progress. My heart
thundered
inside my chest and every inch of me was
shaking
uncontrollably, and InThig had never looked so
beautifully
welcome in all my life—or so screamingly
enraged.
The black demon who had been the companion
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
139
and-bane
of naif my existence was almost unrecognizable
in its
maddened fury, the blaze of its red eyes making the
white
beast's yellow gaze seem mild and unexcited. It had
knocked
the white beast down with its attack, and amid the
most
blood-curdling screams it was literally tearing the
thing
apart, scattering it in red and white pieces all over
the
grass. The white thing was dying but it wasn't dead,
and its
howls of agony were making me ill. InThig's claws
and
teeth just kept ripping and tearing, forcing me to put
my
hands over my ears and squeeze my eyes shut. It was
the
time with the Hellfire all over again, and the memory
of that
experience was too fresh to let me even begin
coping
with the current one.
And
then I was pulled to my feet and two strong arms
were
wrapped around me, holding me tight to a broad,
bare
chest in an effort to calm my shuddering. I didn't
know
where he'd come from but I didn't particularly care,
as long
as I could stand in his arms and share his warmth.
I had
never thought of myself as a baby, even when I was
very
small; I hated feeling that way, but I couldn't seem to
help
it-
After
what seemed like ages the howling stopped, but it
took a
minute or two before the snarling and tearing did
the
same. I had never seen InThig that furious, and it took
some
doing before it calmed down. A big hand had been
gently
stroking my still-wet hair, and finally I was able to
raise
my face with a weak smile of thanks—which froze in
place
when 1 saw who had been holding me.
"It
almost got you, and that was my fault," Rikkan
Addis
said, the look in his bronze eyes more than uncom-
fortable.
'*! should never have let it back off, but I didn't
realize
how stupid a move that would be. I'm sorry."
"But—I
thought you were Zail!" I blurted, feeling like
a foot,
feeling the heat in my face again. After the way
we'd
argued, after everything I'd said and done to him—
To let
him hold me like that!
"Sorry
to disappoint you, but Zail doesn't happen to be
around
right now," he said, letting me go as I stepped
back
away from him, an odd expression in the eyes look-
ing
down at me. "Or anyone else, for that matter. As soon
as
we're finished here, we'd better go check on them."
140
SHARON GREEN
He
turned away from me then to watch InThig claw one
last
time at a motionless, white-red body, and the move-
ment
finally took him far enough away so that 1 was able
to see
all of him. Thin, while lines covered him here and
there
on his tanned body, what was left of the wounds his
link-shape
had taken, healed in the transition back to
human
form, but that wasn't what made me gasp. I hadn't
realized
it sooner, but he was stark naked, and then I had
my back
turned even as my cheeks flamed hotter.
"What's
the matter?" his voice came from behind me,
more
concern in it than I had expected. "Don't try to force
yourself
to look at that carcass, there's no one here to
impress.
Just walk around it without looking, and we'll..."
"That's
not the carcass that's bothering me," i interrupted,
annoyed
at his instant assumption of superiority. "You
may not
realize it, but you lost something in that fight."
"Oh,
the drying cloth," he said after a moment of silent
inventory-taking,
finally getting the point. "I'm not used
to
worrying about clothes and such, my belt usually holds
everything
inte.r-transition, waiting for me to change back.
Obviously
it slipped my mind that my belt is with every-
thing
else, piled in my tent. i appreciate your reminding
me
about it."
He
sounded so damned amused that I wanted to scream
and
throw something at him, but all 1 did was stand there
staring
out over the water, rewrapping my own cloth-
Clothes
had been a very special status symbol for as long
as I
could remember, marking the ones who had them as
winners,
the ones who didn't as losers. Very often if
someone
was thrown out of the pack, they were first
stripped
naked before the ejection. Morgiana had very
properly
agreed that being naked wasn't right, so I'd never
had to
explain the point to her; now this—this—man was
daring
to laugh at me for doing what was right, and I didn't
like it
even a little.
"Are
you all right?" a still-growly voice asked, just
before
InThig came stalking around to my left to examine
me with
nan-owed, burning-red eyes. "The nerve of that
life
form, to believe it might harm my—ah—companion,
without
fearing what / would do. Are you sure it didn't
hurt
you?"
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
141
i.
"It
didn't come anywhere near me," I answered, put-
ting
one hand to the big, black head. "Thanks to you. The
next
time I try chasing you away, feel free to hit me with
something.
Now thai it's dead, the only thing left to worry
about
i? where it came from- How could I have missed it
when 1
warded this area?"
"That's
something I'd also like to know," Rikkan Ad-
dis put
in, coming to stand to my left now that he was
decently
wrapped in cloth again. "I was hoping we wouldn't
have to
do it, but now it looks like we'll have to stand
watches
tonight."
"Watches
won't be necessary, Rik," InThig answered,
sitting
on its haunches to look up at the man before lifting
a paw
to lick. "That beast must have come through the
gate,
just the way the insects did. I detected the insects
when
they came through and followed them, but they
moved
too fast. By the time I reached the pavilions our
companions
had already been stung, and were lying on
their
floors unconscious. There were six insects and four
had
performed their duty and died. but when I searched for
the
other two, I found them dead as well. They must have
been
created with an extremely short life cycle."
"To
keep them from turning on the beast next, and
preventing
it from doing what it was sent to do," Rikkan
Addis-said,
nodding in thoughtful understanding. "If the
insects
got all of us, the beast would only have to finish
the
job. If they didn't get all of us, the thing could have
some
fun before getting on with it- But what I still don't
understand
is how the insects and beast got through a gate
that we
couldn't get through."
"Obviously,
the gate isn't timed the same from at least
one of
the worlds it leads to," I said, feeling very, very
stupid.
"You can't get into it from this side, but there's
nothing
to stop something or someone from coming out of
it. And
I thought I was being so clever, including the gate
in the
area of warding to keep us from having to leave its
safety
in the morning. I should have remembered I was too
tired
to be intelligent and alive, never mind clever. Now
I'll
have to seal it off."
"As
long as there's still a point to sealing it off, we're
ahead
of the game," Rikkan Addis said, dismissing my
142
SHARON GREEN
stupidity
as though it didn't matter in the least. "As far as
I'm
concerned, if you hadn't knocked that thing aside when
it
first came for me, I wouldn't have had time to link-
change
and I would have ended up a tasty dinner snack. In
my book
that means I owe you one—or two, if you care
to
count the way 1 let the thing get away from me long
enough
to go after you. From now on, feel free to bad-
mouth
me any time you like."
He was
looking down at me in the deepening darkness,
his
bronze eyes glowing with that same odd expression,
taking
me completely by surprise with his offer. He wasn't
joking,
I could see that clearly, and suddenly i didn't want
him
blaming himself for something that hadn't been his
fault.
"Considering
the fact that the thing went after you
twice,
there was no way you could have known it would
change
its mind and target," I pointed out, looking away
from
his stare to search for the deep red ball that was the
setting
sun. "We'd better get over to that gate now, before
it gets
completely dark. I don't think I have enough left for
sealing
and lighting the way. And when it comes to start-
ing up
with people, I'll choose my own points of conten-
tion,
thank you. I don't need anyone volunteering points."
"Oh,
yes, ma'am," he said as 1 moved past him head-
ing
toward my dirty clothes, carefully skirting what was
left of
the white thing, hearing the renewed amusement in
his
voice. "I withdraw the suggestion with all due haste,
so just
pretend I never said it. There is one thing I'd like to
ask,
though . . ."
"What
thing?" I said when his voice trailed off, straight-
ening
up after bending to get my clothes. He had followed
along
after me and stood there beside InThig, his arms
folded
across his chest, the demon back to sitting on its
haunches.
Bronze eyes and red eyes glowed at me out of
the
deepening dark, and I had the feeling both pairs were
holding
down laughter.
"It's
really such a little thing," he said, his deep voice
faintly
coaxing. "From now on, why don't you call me Rik?"
It was
already dark by the time we got back to the
pavilions,
checked on our companions and made them
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
143
comfortable
for the night, then went to get something to
eat. I
replaced the drying cloth with a robe before sitting
down to
the meal that was still hot and tasty because of my
spell,
thankful that I'd had the foresight to provide each
pavilion
with its own lamp. After sealing the gate I was
just
about empty, and wouldn't have been able to uncover
the
food if I'd had to do it with magic.
"You
really should have invited him to eat with you,
you
know," InThig said from where it lay on the soft
carpeting,
between the table 1 sat at and the bed I would
soon be
using. "With oniy you two still awake, it would
have
been the decent thing to do."
"No,
it wouldn't have," i disagreed, pulling over a
plate
of something and picking up a fork. "As tired as I
am. I
don't even knov/ what I'm eating; lucid conversation
is
completely beyond me. Besides, I had a previous date
for
dinner. If I can't have that one, I'd rather eat alone."
"But
Zail T'Zannis is sound asleep," InThig pointed
out, a
definite purr forming the words. "Rik is wide
awake
and all alone, and not ready to sleep yet. He's
rather
resourceful and has quite a way with words, don't
you
think?"
"Are
you complimenting h^m, or getting ready to sell
him?"
I asked around a mouthful of beef in creamed wine
sauce,
turning my head to inspect a very comfortable
demon.
"And how did you know about my dinner date
with
Zail?"
"Demons
tend to know about a lot of things," it an-
swered
smugly and evasively, its grin exposing quite a few
sharply
pointed teeth. "Rik's link-shape is really effective,
isn't
it? Did you see the way it took that thing's weight in
attack
without losing an inch of ground?''
"Wail
a minute," I said, understanding struggling its
way
through the clouds of exhaustion I was wrapped in.
"If
you saw that much,, you were there even before the
attack
started. Why did you wait so long before you
stepped
in?"
"Rik
didn't need my help, so why would I have inter-
fered?"
it asked,'innocent curiosity dripping from every
word.
"I really admire his link-shape, it's so swift and
powerful
for someone who isn't a demon- Once this quest
SHARON
GREEN
144
is
over, I just may reform myself to be more like it. Did
you
notice that Rik isn't afraid of me? He talks to me
almost
the way you do."
"InThig,
are you developing a cnish on Rik?" I asked
in real
surprise, feeling the least bit wide-eyed. "I didn't
think
demons were susceptible that way, but apparently I
was
wrong. If you want to go over to his tent ..."
"Laciel'"
it interrupted with the next thing to a snarl,
jumping
up to stand shoulder deep in outrage and indigna-
tion.
"1 do not have a crush on Rik! Don't you understand
what I
was trying to say?"
"InThig,
I'm asleep on my feet," I answered with all
the
confusion I was feeling, putting the fork down after no
more
than a taste or two of the beef. "If you have some-
thing
to tell me, why not say it straight out?"
"I
don't think this is the time," it decided with a sniff,
letting
its fur settle back down from the straight-up posi-
tion to
which it had risen. "You do present a problem, my
girl,
but I'll find some way out of it."
"Good
hunting," 1 mumbled, forcing myself out of the
chair
so that I might stumble over to the bed. "And when
you're
ready to stop talking in riddles, do let me know."
I took
the robe off and slid into bed, and if InThig said
anything
after that, ! missed it entirely.
CHAPTER
5
It was
just a little past dawn when we gathered at the gate,
our
horses saddled and ready, our bodies full of breakfast,
our
minds clear and alert after a good. long night's sleep.
My rest
had been interrupted once, by a nightmare about
Hellfire
which had turned into the nightmare I'd had for
years
and could never remember, but InThig had been
there
as always to tell me that everything was all right, and
I'd
gone immediately back to sleep. I felt strong and alive
that
morning, back in full power; and determined to do
something
to make sure I stayed that way for as long as
possible.
"I
still can't believe it," Zail was saying as I led my
gray to
where everyone stood, his voice half upset and half
annoyed.
"Four of us knocked out by insect bites, leaving
only two
of us to face a thing that was supposed to destroy
us all.
I can't believe I just slept through all that."
"/
believe it," Rik answered, straightening the bridle on
his
mount. "I can still feel its teeth sinking into my
shoulder,
and the pure hatred that just about blazed out of
it. And
there were three of us who were left to face it. If
not for
InThig, it would have gotten Laciel before I could
reach
it."
"Which
brings to mind a point I was too tired to see
yesterday,"
1 put in as Zail turned to me in concern,
drawing
everyone's eyes. "That thing came after me only
when it
knew it had lost to Rik, not first thing when it
I AS
146 SHARON GREEN ,,;'
began
its attack. That means I'm no longer the only target
around
here, so we'd all better stay alert to see whose turn
comes
next."
"That's
not necessarily true,'" InThig said into the gen-
eral
mutter of surprise, this time drawing all the attention-
"The
thing was supposed to kill all of you, so perhaps it
wasn't
given any specifics about who to attack first, and
simply
chose the one who seemed more dangerous. That
doesn't
mean you aren't still the primary target, Laciel."
"Stop
helping," ! told it flatly, not much pleased with
that
particular point of view. "If it turns out I'm right
while
everyone concerns themselves only with me, this •
expedition
could quickly become one with a lot fewer
members-
If we each watch out for ourselves, we won't be
taking
any chances."
"Except
with your life," Rik put in, speaking over his ';;
shoulder
as he adjusted his saddle girth. "I think Zail and If
Kadrim
can watch out for you and themselves, both at the ;'(
same
time. We all have to put up with inconveniences for ^
the
sake of the quest, don't you think?" €
What 1
thought was that he was beginning to sound an ]i
awful
lot like a demon 1 knew, but when he put it that way ^.
1
couldn't very well argue. Zail and Kadrim seemed to be ,
4
absolutely
delighted with the decision, Su was approving,
and
Dranna was amused; InThig said nothing, but I had ?
the
feeling it was also on Rik's side. I was trapped and ';?
outnumbered,
and I could see that that was one of the
t
times
when arguing would have been a waste of breath. ],
"Yes,
! guess we do all have to put up with inconve- ;;.
niences."
I agreed after a moment, aware of the amuse- "
ment
good old Rik was trying to keep hidden. "Thank you -
for
pointing that out to me, 0 fearless leader." :^
Zail
turned away to clear his throat, Kadrim felt the ,;
need to
rub at his face with one big hand, Su shook her
head with
a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eyes, '^
Dranna
looked pained, and InThig simply turned and pad- ^
ded
silently away. The object of my comment had finished ^
messing
with his saddle, and so was free to lean on it with :;
one arm
while turning to look at me from under lowered ;'•'
brows,
his free hand a fist on his swordbelt. I gave him a :^.
bright,
friendly smile in return, one designed to tell him '!.
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
147
that he
now knew exactly how I felt about being overpro-
tected,
but he missed out on the chahce to comment. The
gate
chose that moment to come to life, which meant it
was
time to go.
I made
sure everyone remembered that they had to hurry
before
forming the chain with Su and Kadrim, then braced
myself
tight against the pull while they all made the transi-
tion.
This time I didn't need to be helped out of the gate,
and
Kadrim hadn't had to worry about being attacked
before
it was his turn to go through. I had left our campsite
intact,
warding and all, which meant it stayed in existence
until
I, myself, went completely through the gate. The
spell
would have to be renewed on the way back, but at
least
it had served our purposes for as long as we needed
it.
The
world we emerged in was cooler than the one we'd
left,
and although we were again in the middle of woods,
it was
somehow possible to feel that we weren't the only
non-vegetable
life around there. The sky above the trees
was
cloudy but not threatening, and not too far away we
could
see a road that wasn't too badly out of repair.
Despite
the lack of sun we all felt better, something Zail
was the
first to put into words,,
"Now,
this is more like it," he enthused as he looked
around,
getting a good deal of satisfaction out of the
presence
of the road. "Whatever comes at us will be
standing
upright with a sword in its fist, and going off into
the
bushes for a private minute won't be a major adventure.
We
might even get to stay at an inn tonight."
"Not
in those clothes, you won't," InThig commented,
rejoining
us in time to hear Zail's last words. "And proba-
bly not
in any clothes. There are soldiers only a short way
down
the road, and they seem to be watching for something."
"Damn,"
Rik said softly, looking in the direction InThig
had
come back from. "They have to be waiting for us.
Any
other explanation would.be a coincidence too hard to
swallow.
Can we get around them without their seeing
us?"
"The
detour would be rather extreme." the demon an-
swered,
obviously having already considered the idea-
"They're
spread out in the woods as well as clustered
148 SHARON GREEN
around
the road, and if we did get by them, we would then
have to
pick up the trail again, which probably leads
through
the large town this road goes to. If you can't stay
on the
road. you won't have an easy time of it."
"Easy
doesn't enter into it," the man muttered, rubbing
at his
face with one hand while continuing to consider the
direction
we had to go in. "If Su doesn't follow the
unbroken
trail, how will we know we're following the real
thing?
Laying down a false trail at a point like this would
be just
the trick to send us off in the wrong direction. We
can't
afford to leave the road for any length of time."
"And
an attempt to face such numbers head on would
be
futile," InThig said, closing the circle Rik had opened.
"What
we need is another way."
"InThig,"
I mused, "why do I have the feeling you
know this
world? Better than ten minutes' worth of scout-
ing
would provide, 1 mean."
"Possibly
because I once visited it," the demon said,
looking
at me with unblinking red eyes. "I came through
this
very gate, as a matter of fact, but from a world which
wasn't
the one we just left. There were no soldiers posted
on the
road at the time, biri there was a band of brigands I
just
happened across. You should have seen their expres-
sions
when I ..."
"Then
you know enough about mis world to give me
some background
information," 1 said, interrupting what
would
probably have turned out to be a very long story.
"Do
you think you can describe the important parts in
enough
detail to let me copy it?"
"I'm
certain I can," it answered, trying, demonlike, to
decide
between being put out over having been inter-
rupted,
and curious over what would happen next. "You're
going
to disguise the group as natives?''
"Can
you think of anything else we can do?" I asked in
turn,
privately wondering how successful secondhand magic
would
be. "They're watching for strangers, not for a
group
of natives."
"I
think that's probably the best chance we have,"
Rikkan
Addis said, his attention obviously having shifted
from
the distance to our conversation. "Is there anything
the
rest of us can do?"
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
149
"The
rest of you get to do the hard part," I said,
gesturing
InThig along with me to some grass at the side
of the
gate. None of them asked what I meant, as my
meaning
was obvious: all the others could do was wait.
More
than two hours went by while InThig talked and I
listened,
both of us trying to form a picture in my mind's
eye. I
had to See something before I could reproduce it,
and
most of the Sighted 1 knew would not have even
considered
attempting a spell for something they hadn't
Seen.
As the time went by I got a fairly good idea of what
that
world's society was like, but not in the sort of detail 1
needed
to work with. Not long after we started Zail drifted
over to
sit with us, and although he made no attempt to
touch
me and certainly didn't interrupt, his presence was
hardly
the help I needed. I just kept getting more and more
frustrated,
until suddenly InThig said something that gave
me an
idea.
"...
and their buildings are all one-story," it was
going
on, only the claws flexing into the grass showing its
own
frustration. "Those buildings remind me of the ones
on
Cymar, in that small town they think of as a giant
metropolis.
They use coaches to travel in on Cymar as
well,
but not as class status symbols the way they do here.
Only
aristocrats are permitted to (ravel by coach among
these
people, and ..."
"Wait,
wait, that might be it," I said, sitting straighter
out of
the slump I'd fallen into. "InThig, if I were to
reproduce,
say, one of the coaches from Cymar, which I
have
Seen, would you be able to be specific about how h
needed
to be changed for this world? That's taking the
long
way around the mountain, but it's still better than
working
blind."
"I
should certainly be able to do that," InThig decided
with a
blink of its eyes, rising to a sitting position. "At
any
rate, it can do no harm to try."
It
might also do nothing but drain my strength, I thought,
but it
was still a better idea than the only alternative I'd
been
able to think of. Making us and the horses invisible
would
likely have gotten us past the waiting soldiers, but
those
who aren't used to being invisible usually have a lot
of
trouble with it at first. Not being able to see the feet
150 SHARON GREEN
you're
walking with is more of a problem than those who
have
never tried it consider it, and that goes triple when
horses
are involved. Accidentally touching someone you're
passing,
with an arm you can't see and have therefore
forgotten
the length of, losing track of the people you're
with,
which produces the thought that you're deserted and
alone,
getting it through your head that just because you're
invisible
does not mean you can step on a twig and not
make
noise— No, trying to play match-up would be a
good
deal easier, not to mention less nerve-racking.
It took
something over an hour to do the coach and our
clothing,
as well as deciding who was supposed to be what
sort of
native. There were six of us, three male and three
female,
and for all we knew the composition of our party
and our
descriptions had been given to the soldiers who
were
watching for us. If they'd been posted around the
gate
they would have had us as soon as we stepped
through—if
our sudden, unexplained appearance hadn't
sent
them running and screaming in all directions first.
Someone
hadn't been sure they wouldn't react that way so
they'd
been set on the road we had to follow, giving us the
room to
come through unmolested, but not the room to go
anywhere.
By the time we were ready, I was really getting
to
dislike our enemy on a personal basis.
"I
think that just about does it," Rikkan Addis said
when my
last spell changed all the horses to brown. Four
of them
were hitched unhappily to the coach, saddle mounts
in
traces they were completely unused to, while the last
two
were left under saddles for our "escort." Two was
rather
a small number as far as escorts went on that world,
but it
was either leave it like that or "create" more riders
and
horses. If it hadn't taken so much effort to get that far
I would
have created them, but we weren't ready to leave
that
world yet and I had to save as much as I could for
emergencies.
The gear from our four coach horses was on
top of
the coach disguised as luggage, dark leather trunks
which
went well with the gold and green-trimmed coach.
"There's
still one thing left, but at least I'm not the one
who has
to do it." I said, pointing at InThig. "It's time to
play demon-in-the-basket."
"Really,
Laciet, 1 see no need for this," InThig pro-
THE PAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
151
tested
for the umpteenth time, enjoying the way the rest of
us
looked but unwilling to share the discomfort. "I'd be
much
more effective if I ranged ahead, scouting out what
was
before us, giving early warning of peril or ambush,
seeing
where you others can't . . ."
"And
not being with us if we get asked a question about
this
world that we ought to know," I finished for it, also
for the
umpteenth time. "You're the only one of us who
knows
the necessary details, so you have to be with us.
And if
we're going to talk about preferences, I'd rather be
up on
the coach seat with Su than in this stupid dress, so if
you
insist on doing it your own way, I'll do the same.
There's
no reason why you should be the only . . ."
"And
I would find it far more pleasant were I to ride
beside
Rik rather than be the driver of this conveyance."
Kadrim
put in, gesturing at the coach with his own unhap-
pjness.
"Then. should we be attacked, I would find it
possible
to . . ."
"And
I would rather be riding in the coach with Laciel
and
Dranna," Zail took his turn, grinning at the small
woman
and myself. "We three could share one of the
seats,
with me in the middle, of course . . ."
"Okay,
that's enough out of^all of you,*' Rik broke in.
his
tone even and sure, calming despite the words he used.
"Zail,
you'll be riding with me as one of the guards,
Kadrim,
you'll be driving, Laciel, you're one of the ladies
in the
coach, and InThig, you're going in the basket. Has
everybody
got that?"
He
looked around at us as we looked back at him, and
even
without a bronze-eyed stare we were able to remem-
ber
that our places hadn't been chosen at random. With
four
horses needed to pull the coach, four of us had to ride
on or
in the thing, and those four were placed there by
necessity.
Su had to be up on the driver's seat in order to
show
the way, and the best one to sit beside her, to make
her
size less conspicuous, was Kadrim. The other two
inside
the coach had to be Dranna and me, a lady who
was, as
custom on that world demanded, traveling with a
maid.
That left the escort roles to Zail and Rik, who might
have
been a noble and his servant, except for the fact that
Dranna
and I would then have had to be the escort, which
SHARON
GREEN
152
wasn't
the way things worked around there. To make
things
even more confusing for the ones watching, I had
disguised
Rik, Su and myself so that we no longer looked
precisely
like ourselves. Su was pretending to be male and
was
therefore also able to wear her sword; Rik had dull
black
eyes that made him look slow and not quite bright;
and I
had brown hair and eyes that were a good fit for the
maid
role I was playing. Su and the men wore trousers,
boots
and shirts of gold, with wide-brimmed hats of gold
trimmed
with green, just like the coach. I, as the maid,
wore a
green-trimmed, long-skirted dress of goid, but
Dranna—Dranna
was absolutely magnificent in all green
trimmed
with traces of gold. She was the high lady, the
one the
rest of us served, and she had laughed in delight
when it
was first decided, and after that simply glowed
with
pleasure. She had been assuming that I would be the
one to
pretend to be the lady and she the maid, but
somehow
I'd found I couldn't do that to her.
With
InThig's idol laying it on the line, the demon had
no
other choice than to sigh and agree. I could have found
enough
reason to make a fuss of my own, but I'd been
responsible
for most of the decisions about everyone's
places,
and it would have been mindless to jump on fear-
less
leader for standing behind my own decisions—even if
I felt
like doing exactly that. 1 still wasn't very happy with
the idea
of him as leader and was still looking for a way to
change
it, but that was neither the time nor the place to do
it.
InThig
looked at the dainty pink and white straw basket
I'd
made with a demon in mind, looked at me with less
friendliness
than it usually did, then sighed again before
beginning
to dissolve. What had been solid black flesh and
fur
quickly turned to thick black smoke, and then the
smoke
began flowing into the basket, fitting in neatly until
it
titled the wide basket completely. Two blazing red eyes
looked
up out of the black cloud, and they weren't pleased.
"It's
narrow, cramped, and hard despite the silk lin-
ing,"
InThig announced, sounding terribly put-upon and
suffering.
"I hope you're pleased with yourself, Laciel."
"I
hope you don't mind if/'m pleased, InThig," Dranna
said
before 1 could answer, looking down at the demon-
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
153
vapor.
*'I really do feet much safer having you in the
coach
with us, and I'm very grateful to you for agreeing to
do
something that's so obviously beneath you. You really
are a
magnificent—life form."
"Why,
not at all, Dranna, the pleasure is mine," InThig
purred
in its sleekest manner, the black cloud roiling in a
very
satisfied way. "If my presence is comforting to you,
I'm
more than happy to oblige. If you'll close the lid now,
we can
be on our way."
Dranna
leaned over with a devastating smile and closed
the lid
of the basket, but slowly enough to keep eye
contact
with InThig for as long as possible. Once it was
done
Kadrim took the basket to put it in the coach, but
Dranna
ignored his grin and the ones on Zail and Rik as
she
turned to me.
"He
just needed to feel appreciated." she confided in a
low
voice, looking up at me with eyes that still matched
the new
green of her gown. "It can't really be comfortable
for him
in such a small basket, and it didn't hurt anything
telling
him that."
"No,
it didn't hurt anything," I agreed, changing my
mind
about pointing out again that InThig was an it, not a
he.
Considering the way it had responded to Dranna I was
no
longer quite as sure as 1 had been, and it didn't seem to
make
much difference. If InThig was happier being treated
as a
he, who was 1 to deny him? It? Whatever.
Once
Kadrim put InThig's basket in the coach, he and
Su
began climbing up to the coach seat while Rik and Zail
helped
Dranna and me inside. Rik smiled at Dranna and
patted
her hand as he helped her in, and got a warm smile
in
return; Zail took my hand and kissed it while looking at
me with
those beautiful gray eyes, and the silent promise
in them
moved me into the coach without my knowing
exactly
how I'd gotten there. The promise had spoken
about
the dme together we'd missed out on the night
before,
and had said we wouldn't miss it again. I suddenly
couldn't
wait until we camped for the night, even if the
camp
was one that had to be warded.
"He's
nice, isn't he?" Dranna said, bringing me back
to the
world to find that we'd already begun moving. 1 was
154
SHARON
GREEN
sitting
on the seat that faced the back of the coach, of
course,
and she was smiling at me from the other.
"He's
very nice," I agreed with a matching smile,
moving
my right foot away from the basket thai had been
put on
the floor of the coach. "I wish he really could have
ridden
in here with us."
"Oh,
you mean Zail," she said, glancing out one of the
curtained
windows. "I was talking about Rik. He must be
one of
the nicest men I've ever met, and one of the most
interesting,
too. Did he really fight against a—thing—last
night
and win?"
"He
has a very powerful link-shape," I said with a nod,
stil!
partially involved with thoughts about Zail- "It's bronze,
like
his eyes, but all over, and seems to have a lot of
experience
fighting. And winning. That thing knew it was
beaten
as soon as he bit into its leg and really damaged
it."
"What
do you mean, link-shape?" she asked, a strange
expression
having taken over for the smile. "1 don't un-
derstand.
I thought he just—fought it."
"With
nothing but a drying cloth for a weapon?" I said,
wondering
what dinner with Zail would be like. "Even a
sword
would have left him at a disadvantage with thai
thing.
Having a link-shape means you can shift from one
form to
the other whenever you like, human or animal,
take
your choice. It's an ability some people are born with,
but
that doesn't mean they're Sighted; having an ability is
not the
same as doing magic. He also has a belt with a
spell
on it, that takes care of his clothes and things while
he's in
link-shape, then puts them back on him when he
shifts
again. He didn't have it with him last night, though,
and
didn't realize he'd lost the drying cloth in the first
shift.
I was the one who discovered that when it was all
over,
and it was very embarrassing."
I had
expected Dranna to be amused over my being
embarrassed
by something she was probably very used to,
and was
grateful when all she did was stare out of the
window
without even a smile. Seeing a man without clothes
was
nothing like seeing a boy the same way, and it really
was
embarrassing. And then my mind began wondering
what it
would feel like to see Zail that way, wearing even
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
155
tf
less
than he had when he'd kissed me.- My cheeks were
uncomfortably
warm at the thought, but I couldn't push it
away;
somehow I didn't think he'd mind if I saw him like
that,
but would simply grin at my blush. I remembered the
way
he'd grinned at me the night before, just before he'd
put his
arms around me, and then 1 was deep in the
memory
of it.
1
hardiy noticed that the bouncing of the coach didn't
ease
much even once we were on the road, but I did notice
when we
abruptly began slowing. The soldiers guarding
the
road hadn't been far away at all, and even as we
slowed,
men in uniforms of yellow with brown trim began
closing
in on the coach.
"The
one in the brown uniform with yellow trim is in
charge,"
InThig whispered from its basket, a tiny wisp of
black
vapor peeking out through a narrow slot in the
basket
weave. "He's a lord, and that's the way they
address
him."
"You
there, whose coach is this?" an arrogant voice
demanded,
sounding reasonably near. "The House colors
are
totally unfamiliar to me."
"The
lady is in charge, sir," Zail's voice came jn
answer,
sounding stolid and not-very interested. "With all
due
respect, you'll have to speak to her."
"A
lady?" the voice demanded, this time outraged.
"With
no more of an escort than you four? I'll JUSI see
about
that'"
The
coach door to my left was yanked open and a man
who was
probably the owner of the voice poked his head
in, but
his belligerence disappeared as soon as he saw
Dranna.
She was giving him one of those smiles of hers,
her
expression coot and in control, and the newcomer
proved
that lord or not, he was first and foremost a man.
"My
lady, I do beg your pardon." he apologized imme-
diately,
reaching quickly for the brown-tnmmed-with-yeliow
hat he
wore. "I had no idea— I mean, I was taken quite by
surprise—
I mean, may I ask who you are?"
"I'm
afraid you may not, my lord," Dranna answered,
her
low, throaty voice making the man's hand close more
tightly
on the hat he held. "I travel in utmost secrecy on
very
urgent business, which I may not divulge to anyone.
156 SHARON GREEN
That,
of course, is the reason my escort is so small, so as
not to
attract undue attention. I'm sure you understand."
"The
High Magus—" the man began, paling just a little
before
he caught himself, and then he exchanged nervous-
ness
for a smile. "Someone not to be mentioned. Of
course
I understand, certainly I do, but you must be ex-
hausted
from so long a journey. I insist you stop here for a
while,
and accept a sip of wine to restore your strength."
"That's
quite generous of you, my lord, but I'm afraid
I'm
very much pressed for time," Dranna said, showing
nothing
of the upset that / could feel. "Perhaps on the
return
journey, when I have more leisure. . . ?"
"My
lady, would you leave me devastated?" he asked,
suddenly
full of smooth, easy words. "1 have been com-
manded
to search every vehicle and person appearing on
this
road, thoroughly and at great length, which would
then
mean the repacking of all of your gowns and lovely
possessions,
a time-consuming task. Instead, let me exam-
ine you
with words of praise over a glass of wine, and you
will be
much more quickly on your way. I beg you not to
deny me
a gentleman's effort in place of a soldier's."
1
couldn't keep from tensing when he spoke about search-
ing our
luggage, because there was nothing in our baggage
to
search. The pretend-trunks were just masks for our
saddle
gear, and if anyone touched them they'd know that
immediately.
If a search started I'd have to spend the
effort
to change that, also working tQ make sure no one
noticed
the shift from pretend to real, and somehow Dranna
understood
what that would entail without my having to
say a
word. She smiled a secret sort of smile to mask the
glance
she gave me, then put out a graceful hand to the
man
stil] looking up at her.
*1!
find it difficult understanding how a woman may
deny
you anything, my lord," she said in a throaty purr
that
caused the man to grow two feet taller on the spot.
"Would
you be so kind as to help me down?"
"With
the greatest delight, dear lady," he oozed, taking
her
hand. The next minute she was gone from the coach,
and I
liked that even less than the thought of a search.
"InThig,
should I do something to stop that?" I asked
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
'57
in a
whisper, suddenly worried about what would happen
to her.
"What if he asks her questions she can't answer?"
"I
seriously doubt he'll be asking her anything she can't
answer."
a matching whisper came back, for some reason
more
amused than worried. "She's a very resourceful
young
woman, you know."
Again
resourceful. I sat back against the velvet coach
seat,
seeing through the window that Zail and Rik had
dismounted
and were just standing there, watching as the
brown-clad
man led Dranna to a large, brown, guarded
tent
set back in the woods. I didn't like the way the man
was
looking at Dranna, but she didn't seem to mind and
didn't
seem frightened at all- 1 wondered what they were
going
to be talking about over their wine. then quickly
abandoned
that line of thought. It led me immediately
back to
memories of Zail and dinner, and that was no time
to be
daydreaming.
It
turned out that I would have had plenty of time for
daydreaming,
as it was more than an hour before Dranna
came
back, and 'nothing happened during that period ex-
cept
for the casual way the soldiers watched us. The man
in
brown escorted her back to the coach, raised her hand to
his
lips before helping her into her seat, then closed the
door
and stepped back with a wave to his men. Whatever
had
stopped us earlier no longer seemed to be in our way,
and we
continued'up the road with no further interference.
"Are
you all right?" I asked as soon as we were
moving
again, seeing the faint flush to her cheeks and the
way her
hand patted at her black hair. "He didn't hurt
you,
did he?"
"No,
I'm fine," she answered with something of a
smile,
a very pleased sort of smile. "He's a lovely man,
really,
and very much a gentleman. I've always been
partial
to true gentlemen. He even asked me to slop again
on my
way back."
"1
can't believe we got away that easily," I said, relief
flooding
my mind. "1 kept trying to think of a way to
explain
a basketful of demon, and couldn't. How did you
manage
to keep a conversation going for an hour without
getting
caught as a stranger?"
158 SHARON GREEN
She
looked at me oddly, then, as though surprised at
something
I'd said, and then she laughed gently and softly.
"I
can't seem to get used to the sort of person you are,"
she
said, shaking her head just a little. "In some ways
you're
hard and determined and fully in touch with life,
but in
others you're as beautifully innocent as a very small
child.
It's as though someone took certain knowledge away
from
you, but 1 can't understand why anyone would do
that
even if it were possible. Do you understand any part
of what
I'm trying to say?"
"No,"
I answered honestly, wondering what she could
possibly
think I was missing. "And 1 also don't under-
stand
why people keep telling me I'm innocent. I'm not,
you
know."
"Of
course you're not." she said with a much gentler
smile,
somehow making me feel very small and young.
"And
it should all be taken care of soon anyway, with Zail
as
eager as he seems to be. I suppose it's a good thing Rik
hasn't
pursued his own interest, considering what he is.
Zail
will be much better for you, and you like him just as
much as
he likes you, don't you?"
"Yes,
I think I do," i said, then was relieved to see her
attention
drift back to the lightly curtained window. I
hadn't
followed much of what she'd said, but I did know
I'd
never be able to talk about Zail without sounding like a
backward
adolescent, and i didn't want to talk about Rik.
She
really did seem to like old fearless leader, and I didn't
want to
upset her by saying something about him that she
wouldn't
care for. I didn't know what she'd meant by,
"considering
what he is," but that couldn't be very impor-
tant.
She'd been going on about how nice he was before
I'd
bored her with my explanation about link-shapes, so
she
couldn't possibly see him the way I did. He wasn't as
useless
as I'd first thought he was, and in a way he
reminded
me of InThig, but I certainly didn't consider him
"nice,"
and probably never would.
Our
trip continued without interruption, and in a little
while
we reached the city InThig had mentioned. When we
found a
busy inn on the far side of the city we stopped at
it, and
I used the excuse of going in and looking around
for my
"mistress" to make sure the place wasn't too
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
'59
crowded,
to get a good view of the coins they used for
money.
Armed with the assurances of the innkeeper that
the
"lady" would certainly not be jostled, I went back to
the
coach, produced a decent number of their large gold
coins,
and then we were ready to go inside and order.
Dranna
got to carry the money, of course, but we
discovered
she also had to order for the rest of us—from
the
part of the inn reserved for gentlefolk. Zail and Rik
went
with her, but only to stand behind her chair white she
made
herself comfortable at a private table. Kadrim and
his
"assistant driver" Su stayed with me in the public
room
where we were allowed some space at a long, roughly
made
table and bench, and they had to hurry their meal in
order
to relieve the first pair of guards so that they could
get
something of their own to eat. The food was filling but
not
very tasty, and I was too much aware of the pink and
white
basket on the floor at my feet to feel at all comfort-
able in
that place; when the meal was over and we went
back to
the coach, the only one who seemed sorry to go
was
Dranna.
The
road took us out of the city again—which wasn't as
big as
most cities on my own world, or even as advanced—
and we
settled into a peaceful^time of dull travel. Dranna
and I
dozed while InThig did whatever it is demons do in
place
of dozing and sleeping, and it was late afternoon
before
the coach slowed to a stop. Those of us inside sat
up and
looked out the windows, even InThig raising a bit
of
black cloud through the top of the opened basket, but
there
was nothing to see. We had stopped on the road in
the
middle of nowhere, the ground rising in gentle hills to
either
side of us, the continuing overcast making it seem
later
than it was. Dranna and I looked at each other,
wondering
why we had stopped, and then Zail walked over
leading
his horse and Rik's, to let us know what was
happening.
"Su
says the trail leaves the road here and goes off to
the
right," he told us, gesturing to the far side of the
coach.
"Rik thinks that means the next gate isn't too far,
but he
wants to do a little scouting before we go on.
We've
had very little trouble on this world, and that's
making
him suspicious."
i6o
SHARON
GREEN
"I
think he needs to leam to be grateful for small
favors,"
I said, hoping fearless leader's suspicions were
wrong.
"It's possible the enemy expected that first group
of
soldiers to find and stop us."
"He's
not depending on that, and I think I'm on his
side,"
Zail said, showing his usual sobriety when he
disagreed
with me about something. "There's no sense in
taking
chances when we don't have to, but 1 wish he'd
have
let me do the scouting. It would have been better than
standing
around here and waiting."
"Well,
it shouldn't be for too long," Dranna soothed
him,
adding a smile. "You can't hide much in country like
this,
so if there's anything ahead of us, he ought to be able
to find
it quickly."
Zail
and I agreed with that thought, and it turned out to
be
true. Kadrim and Sue had come down off the coach seat
and
Dranna and 1 had climbed out to join them, when Rik
came
around the back of the coach.
"We
have a problem," he announced as soon as he
appeared,
not very pleased with what he had found. "There's
another
force camped not far from here, and I'm willing to
bet
they're sitting right on top of the gate. We didn't come
into
this world in their laps, but that's where we'll have to
be if
we want to leave it again."
"It's
too bad the enemy wasn't as worried about them
seeing
us leave as he was over them seeing us arrive," I
said,
annoyance, frustration and impatience beginning to
grow in
me again. "How are we supposed to get around
them?"
"Can't
you use magic?" Rik asked, left hand resting on
his
sword hilt, his expression matching the way I felt.
"Even
if all of us had swords and could use them, we'd
still
be outnumbered about fifteen or twenty to one."
"That
all depends on what you'd consider appropriate,"
I
answered, looking up into eyes that were still a dull
black.
"1 can wipe them all out with almost no effort at
all,
but I happen to think doing that would make us little
better
than the enemy. Or I can freeze them all in place
and we
can just walk right through mem to the gate, but
putting
spells on people isn't me same as—creating a
camp,
say. In order for ait of you to cross over into the
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER l6l
next
world, 1 have to stand anchored in the gate. Only a
small
part of me will be left in this world to maintain the
spelt,
and those farthest away from the gate will probably
be able
to break out of it. If those few come forward in a
rush,
bent on stopping us, Kadrim and possibly you and
Dranna
and Zail might not make it through except in
slices."
"Killing
them is out," he said, very flatly and very
finally.
"It can't possibly be their own idea that we have
to be
stopped, and that means we'd be slaughtering inno-
cent
dupes. It looks like that freezing spell will have to do
it, but
that also means a change in our order of march
through
me gate. Zai) will have to go through first and
very
fast in case Su needs help on the other end and
Dranna
will go right behind him, those two taking all the
horses.
Kadrim will go next, without horses in case he has
to help
fight on this side before it's his turn, and that will
leave
only InThig and me. I'll anchor you on this end as
long as
necessary, and then InThig and I will . . ."
"Perhaps
such an arrangement will be unnecessary,"
Kadrim
said suddenly, his expression more than simply
thoughtful,
one big hand to his smooth-cheeked face. "There
are
times when one fights gladly and with pleasure—and
times
when such frivolity proves uncalled for. We have
not the
time, I think, for dallying gaily in battle."
"What's
your plan?" Rikkan Addis asked at once, more
willing
to listen to the boy than I'd thought he'd be. "As
long as
it doesn't leave you here fighting on your own. 1
want to
hear it."
"No,
1 shall be no more involved than you," Kadrim
answered
with a grin of deep amusement, then moved his
eyes to
me. "It must be Laciel who performs the chore,
with
the assistance of InThig. Should she find my sugges-
tion
feasible."
"That
means your idea concerns magic," I said, return-
ing his
look with interest. "What would I have to do?"
"The
details would be yours to determine, girl," he
replied,
"yet has it occurred to me that those of this world
are
familiar with magic and in awe of it, likely even more
frightened
than awed. For what other reason would our
enemy
have put them where they would fail to observe our
162
SHARON GREEN
arrival?
Should they be shown a sorceress and a demon,
perhaps
appearing without warning in their midst, frighten-
ing and
threatening, will they find it possible to stand their
ground
against them?"
"They'll
probably run like rabbits'" I said with a laugh
of
delight, loving the idea as soon as i heard it. "The rest
of you
will have to be careful not to get trampled in the
rush.'*
"But
what if they don't run?" Rikkan Addis asked with
a
frown, the only wet blanket in a group of laughter and
agreement.
"What if they attack instead? Fear sometimes
drives
a man forward instead of back, and that would leave
Laciel
directly in their path. It's too much of a risk."
"Don't
be ridiculous," I told his worry with all the
exasperation
suddenly filling me, disliking the sort of
hemmed-in
feeling his smothering produced. "Can't you
understand
that no one can approach a sorceress unless she
wants
them to? These are ordinary people; what could they
possibly
do to counter me?"
The
took in his eye was unvocalized frustration, but
there
was no way to argue with me and he knew it. The
job was
mine, mine and InThig's, and trying to deny it
would
just put everyone else in danger for nothing.
With
that point settled, there was nothing left to do but
get
ready. After getting InThig's basket out of the coach
and
unhitching the horses, I got rid of the vehicle and put
everything
back as it had been, including the way we
looked.
The four coach horses were resaddled while 1 told
my
friendly black vapor what we were going to do, got its
amused
agreement, then turned to the others.
"We'll
have to get as close as possible to them," I
announced,
for the most part thinking out loud. "We want
you to
be able to see them but not them you, so I'll put up
a fence
like the one I did at the fair, only this time you'll
all be
behind it with the horses, and you'll be able to see
out. As
soon as the coast is clear, you'll dissolve the fence
and
come up to the gate—which I'll be standing right in
front
of."
"How
are we supposed to dissolve the fence?" fearless
leader
asked, still rather unhappy with the way things were
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 163
going.
"A magic fence needs magic to get rid of it, and
you're
the only one of us capable of that sort of magic."
"You'll
say the word, 'drahzheet'," I told him, trying
very
hard to be patient with his silly questions. "The spell
will be
keyed to cancel when that word is spoken, and it
won't
matter if the one saying it is Sighted or not. It's also
a word
that isn't very likely to be spoken accidentally at
the
wrong time, so you won't become prematurely visible.
Does
anyone else have any questions that will waste some
more
time?"
They
shuffled a little and glanced at one another, but as
far as
questions went there weren't any. Despite his having
told me
I could say anything I liked to him, good old Rik
seemed
to be having his original trouble with my attitude
toward
him—and also seemed somewhat surprised that it
was
unchanged. Why he should expect any differences I
couldn't
imagine, not after all the nasty things he'd said to
me.
Having nearly gotten killed with him didn't change
anything,
a fact he was beginning to understand; he'd have
to be
satisfied with InThig liking him for both of us.
With
nothing left to keep us near the road, we followed
Rik to
the closest place we could get to the soldiers
without
their seeing us, and after moving about ten feet
away
from the others, I spoke the spell that erected the
fence.
As soon as everyone was safely invisible, 1 looked
at the
opposition again to see that there were nearly a
hundred
of them, hard-looking men who seemed alert
against
something they didn't understand. There was a tall,
spear-like
pole thrust into the ground with a blue and tan
pennon
flying from it, the colors matched in the uniforms
the men
wore, and most of them were clustered around the
pole,
guarding it as though it were treasure. In point of
fact it
was the gate they were guarding, a gate they couldn't
see but
didn't have to, thanks to the pole. It was thrust into
the
ground directly in front of the gate, marking the impor-
tant
spot and making sure they didn't lose track of where
they
were supposed to be and drift off-center.
1
thought about the situation for a minute or two, InThig's
eyes on
me while 1 tried to decide exactly how to play it,
then
made up my mind. When 1 spoke the invisibility spell
the
demon was unsurprised, as we'd both known we'd
164
SHARON
GREEN
need
invisibility to get into the middle of them without
being
seen, and then I took my basket and began to move
around
the outer edges of the men. They were all facing
outward,
watching in the direction they'd been told we'd
be
approaching from, and some of them looked cold, as
though
they'd been standing in one place too long. Consid-
ering
the coolness of the air I felt sorry for them, but I also
knew
they wouldn't be cold for very much longer.
It only
took about ten minutes to skirt their spread-out
formation
and come at them from behind, so to speak,
from
the direction opposite the road, the direction in which
only a
few of them were watching- The gate was behind
these
few, between them and the bulk of their force, and
moving
past them to reach the pole was much easier than
trying
it from what was the front- The men were standing
much
too close together there, and I didn't want them to
know I
was around until the proper time.
The
proper time came when 1 stopped beside the pole
and
gestured the invisibility away, but I wasn't noticed
immediately.
All of the men were facing outward and
away,
including the one not far from me in blue with tan
trim,
which made it necessary for me to clear my throat a
couple
of times. The man dressed as the group's leader
finally
turned in annoyance, clearly ready to blast whoever
had
been making that distracting noise, then froze with
eyes
suddenly widened when 1 smiled at him.
"Good
afternoon," I said in a low, throaty imitation of
Dranna's
voice, letting my smile show the long, sharp
fangs
I'd given myself. "Would you like to see what I've
brought
you?"
I held
out the closed basket on my left arm, waiting
politely
for an answer to my question, but ail I got was a
lot
more faces turning in my direction. The faces were
strangely
pale with very round eyes, and the bodies be-
neath
them had begun trembling very slightly.
"It
was the nicest present I could think of," I assured
them,
looking around at the growing numbers facing me.
"I
know you'll love it when you see it; they always do."
1
reached across to the basket with my right hand,
pretending
I didn't see the horrified head-shaking that had
begun,
still smiling for the benefit of those men who had
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 165
edged
around from behind me, and the ones who were
farthest
away and just noticing that something was happen-
ing.
There were still some at my back, I knew, and when I
felt
the mud against the shield I'd erected, knew also that
at
least one of them was a very brave man. But brave men
were
something we couldn't afford to have around there,
not if
we were to get through the gate.
"That
won't do you any good, you know," I said over
my
shoulder, smiling pleasantly at the man with the sword
in his
hand, the one who had tried to run me through from
behind,
the one who was trembling and backing away.
"Once
1 come to deliver my present, there's nothing you
can do
to refuse it."
I
returned my attention to the others to find that they,
too,
were backing away, their panic-stricken gazes shifting
between
my face and the basket lid ! was already begin-
ning to
raise, most of them making gestures in the air
that
were probably warding signs against evil. The untal-
ented
had a habit of doing that, seeing and repeating one
small
part of a spell, thinking that the gesture would do
them
some good. Even if they'd been Sighted it probably
wouldn't
have helped, especially since most of them were
doing
the gesture with their own, individual variations.
When
doing magic you have to be precise, otherwise you
can end
up a toadstool or a clothesline.
InThig
didn't budge until the lid was raised all the way,
and
then it took its turn at theatrics. I was pretending to be
fey,
pleasantly deranged and utterly horrible to anyone
who
looked at me, the sort of being who scatters flower
petals
on your body after slaughtering you in the most
ghastly
fashion possible, but InThig didn't care to horrify
by
suggestion. Demons will either do nothing to frighten at
all—or
go completely the other way.
"Living
blood!" it suddenly breathed, flowing out of
the
basket in a rising black cloud, two madly glaring red
eyes
looking all around. "It's been so long! I must have it,
all of
it, to slake this endless thirst! Let me take it now!"
There were
actually screams here and there as the cloud
of
demon began spreading out in all directions, but there
were
also two or three spears launched with the same
terrified
impetus. InThig, of course, made no effort to
l66
SHARON
GREEN
avoid
them, and they passed through its vapor body even
more
easily than they would have through its solid form.
That
was when it began laughing, a maniacal sound filled
with
blood-chilling anticipation, and that was it as far as
those
men were concerned. Officers and men alike turned
and
began running, following the example of the dozen or
so
horses that had hysterically pulled loose from their
tethers
to stampede at the first sight of the thick black
cloud.
Arms and legs pumped madly as they ran, mewling
and
whimpering coming from more than a few, and in less
time
than it takes to tell it, they were gone from sight- I
looked
around carefully, glad, now, that the open hills and
low
grass provided nothing in the way of cover, and when
I
turned back my companions were hurrying toward me.
"Laciel,
that was beautiful," Zail laughed as he came
up, his
grin matched by most of the others. "I've never
seen a
better set of teeth, and InThig was so convincing we
were
almost afraid to come closer. They'll probably keep
running
until they drop ''
"Were
you hurt at all?" fearless leader demanded as he
brought
both our horses forward, his eyes narrowed to
match
the frown he was wearing. "Someone came at-you
from
behind with a sword, and those spears thrown at
InThig-ended
up closer to you than i liked. Did any of that
reach
you?"
"No,
none of it reached me," I answered, finding it
impossible
to keep the annoyance out of my voice as I
gestured
to get rid of the fangs I'd decorated myself with.
"What
do you think i am, an absent-minded apprentice?
Or an
infant just starting to toddle around?"
"1
already know what you are," he said, those bronze
eyes
glittering at me, something odd turning his tone dry.
"Playing
guessing games would be the sort of waste of
time
you claim to dislike. Let's get through the gate before
those
men come back with reinforcements capable of doing
magic."
He
stepped past me to wrestle the pole out of the ground
before
I could think of something to say in return, and then
there
turned out to be too little time. It really wouldn't
have
been bright at all to wait until those soldiers came
back,
and suddenly everyone was being very efficient in
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER (67
seeing
to it that we got going before that happened. Su was
there
in front of the gate, reaching for my left hand while
Kadrim
did the same with my right, InThig was solidifying
back
into cat shape, and the rest each had two horses in
tow.
The gate was already open, having activated when I'd
first
approached it while invisible, which left only me not
doing
the necessary. Right then I would have much pre-
ferred
getting into a heated argument with Rikkan Addis,
but
instead moved silently—and furiously—into the gate.
We made
the group transfer to the next world quickly
and
without incident, and when Kadrim and I stepped
through
I found that that world was closer to sundown than
the one
we'd just left had been. It was also hotter and
emptier,
with not a single sign of roads or civilization, but
at
least it wasn't choked with forests. There was a lot of
tall
grass all around us, and a lot of stands of woods
visible
in all direction, but nothing like the thick forest
we'd
fought our way through two worlds back. I would
have
been happier if we could have mounted up and ridden
off,
but everyone was looking at the setting sun and likely
thinking
the same as I: we'd be able to cover very little
ground
before we were stopped by full dark, and the
horses
hadn't had as easy a time of it as we'd had. The
smartest
thing to do would be to make camp, and get an
early
start once the sun came up.
This
time calling the camp into being was easy, since all
I had
to do was speak spells already devised, with one
minor
variation—leaving the gate out of the warded area.
Our
tents appeared along with the fenced-in pasture, all of
it
looking as it had when we'd left it that morning, causing
everyone
to relax with the feeling of being home. We
didn't
know what that world held in wait for us, but we'd
be able
to face it more easily after a quiet evening and a
good
night's sleep.
Or, at
least that's the way everyone else seemed to feel.
The
strength I'd had to expend in the gate had cooled a
part of
my anger and creating the camp had helped a bit
more,
but when i turned to take my horse and see to him, I
found
Rikkan Addis already moving toward the pasture
gate,
stiH leading both his horse and mine. The man had
clearly
decided to help out the poor, defenseless little girl,
168
SHARON
GREEN
JUS!
the way he had with Dranna the day before, and that
brought
back everything I'd felt before stepping into the
gate.
With Kadnm taking the horses Dranna had, Rik was
free to
help me•—without pausing even once to ask whether
or not I
wanted that help. I was so furious, a!l I could do
was
turn around and stalk away to my tent; if 1 hadn't, i
might
have done something that wasn't in the best interests
of the
quest.
InThig
had disappeared somewhere as soon as all of us
had
exited through the gate, which left my tent pleasantly
empty
and quiet. The lamp burning inside it gave it a cozy
feel
despite the warmth of the air, but I wasn't particularly
in the
mood for cozy. 1 strode over to the graywood
sideboard
and poured myself a glass of wine, took a
satisfying
swallow, then let the wine keep me company as
1 began
pacing around the pavilion, trying to work off my
anger.
If i didn't I'd never sleep that night, not to mention
rest or
eat.
I
couldn't have gone back and forth more than a few
times
before the flap of silk covering the front of my
pavilion
was moved aside, drawing my attention. For an
instant
1 had the ridiculous idea that it was good old Rik,
stopping
by for a thank-you from me for seeing to my
horse,
but I suppose even he was brighter than that. The
one
coming in was Kadnm, and when he saw me looking
at him
he smiled.
"Should
that expression upon you be meant for me, I
will
depart again at once," he said, nevertheless showing
no real
intention of going back where he'd come from.
"Should
it be some other person or thing which disturbs
you,
perhaps you would care to discuss the matter."
"If
you'd like the truth, I'd much prefer flattening the
matter,'*
I answered, sipping again at my wine. "How
would
you like it if I came along and did something for
you
that you were going to do yourself, without even ask-
ing
first? You're a king; how would you tike having
people
treat you as if you were crippled or incompetent?"
"Who
could possibly have done such a thing?" he
asked
with a puzzled shake of his head, at the same time
moving
nearer. "You are a woman of great strength and
talent;
who would dare to insult you so?"
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
"Who
else?" I threw back at him, looking up into those
strange
blue eyes. "Didn't you see the way he just walked
away
with my horse? As if I'd asked him to do it? As if I
wasn't
bright enough to do it myself?"
"Rik,"
he said, dawning comprehension adding itself to
his
expression—right next to the confusion. "You must
forgive
me, girt, for I fail to see what insult might have
been
intended by his actions. Had 1 held the reins of your
mount,
I would likely have done the same. For a man to
do
otherwise would then be true insult, not to speak of
decidedly
unfitting."
"But
don't you understand?" I nearly shouted, waving
around
the glass of wine. "What he said to me just before
we went
through the gate wasn't nearly as bad as what he
said
last night, and when you insult someone like that and
then do
something for them, it means only one thing! It
means
you think you can challenge them and win!"
"Laciel,
do you speak of the customs among those you
told me
of?" he asked, suddenly filled with less confu-
sion.
"They were the—packs—were they not, the ones
you led
till the lady Morgiana came upon you? Is this what
you
refer to?'*
"Well,
of course it is," I answered, responding, in spite
of
myself, to his continued calm and quiet. "What else
would I
be talking about?"
"I
find it beyond me to know," he said, folding his
arms
with a faint touch of sadness in those eyes. "Also it
would
please me to know in what manner our current
situation
might be likened to your time among those who
arc
homeless- And for what reason would Rik act so as to
give
you deliberate insult and challenge? What would be
gained
by such a challenge? What would be gained by
giving
insult^ It is he who is acknowledged leader of our
expedition;
for what reason would he give challenge to one
who was
not?"
The questions
had been quietly and calmly put, an air of
wanting
to help evident in them, but I still had to turn
away in
very great upset. Now that the point had been
brought
up I didn't know what any of that had to do with
the
packs, and couldn't even think of anything when I
tried.
All 1 did know was that I associated Rikkan Addis
t70
SHARON GREEN
with my
former life, and couldn't keep from being re-
minded
of it any time 1 thought about him. Or tangled with
him.
There was something about him, something I'd felt
almost
from the first time I'd seen him—but I just couldn't
remember
what it was.
"I
don't know what he'd get out of any of that," I
conceded
atjast, walking to the sideboard to return my
glass
to it. "He even refused to answer a challenge last
night,
at least in the way I wanted it answered. If he hadn't
faced
that beast thing without hesitation, I might have
thought
he was a coward."
"You—gave
him challenge last darkness?" the boy
asked,
looking less sad and more startled as I turned back
to him.
"He faced you and remains unharmed? How could
that
be?"
"That's
what I'd like to know," I grumbled, going to
the
gray, fur-covered settle and sitting. "I made sticks for
both of
us to use, proper challenge sticks in every respect,
but he
refused to pick his up even when I hit him with
mine.
All he did was dive at me and knock me down, then
take
away my stick. I suppose 1 shouldn't have tried
fighting
with him when 1 was that drained and tired. For a
minute
it felt as though he had three times my strength."
Kadrim
just stood where he had been and stared at me,
his
smooth-cheeked face running through the oddest gamut
of
emotions, all of them ranging between upset and laugh-
ter. 1
couldn't imagine what was doing that to him, but
before
I could ask he settled on partially buried amuse-
ment,
took his swordbelt off and put it on a table, then
came
over to sit beside me.
"Laciel,
girl, you must not do such a thing a second
time,"
he said, sounding for ail the world like a patiently
amused
but faintly disapproving old man. "Had I thought
upon it
I would have seen that you would choose to face a
challenge
without magic, yet must you not do so again,
most
especially not with Rik. He is a full grown man with
strength
and vigor, and you no more than a girl. He clearly
has no
wish to do you harm, yet might an accident occur,
should
you persist in provoking him."
"But
of course I'm going to persist in provoking him,"
1 said
with a snort, kicking my short gold boots off before
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
I?I
bringing
my feet up to the settle and folding them to the
left,
away from Kadrim. "If I keep at him he'll have to
answer
my challenge, and with my choice of weapons, or
he'll
lose the respect of everyone on the expedition. He
gave me
that idea himself, and next time he'll be in for a
surprise.
I've fixed it so that I'll never be that tired and
drained
again no matter what we go through, and that will
take
care of the question of strength."
"How
are you able to believe that your strength will
ever be
a match to his?" he demanded, those hard blue
eyes
beginning to look annoyed. "You are slender, and a
girl,
and he a man nearly a full head larger than you!"
"I
was always stronger and a better fighter than the
boys in
the pack, even if they were a little taller than me,
which
most weren't," I explained, smiling at how in-
censed
he was. "They didn't care for the idea either, but
that
didn't keep it from happening. I'm also stronger than
the men
I know, and more powerful than all of them
except
for the wizards. Don't worry about me, Kadrim, I
know
what I'm doing."
"That
simply cannot be so," he said, still annoyed, his
sharp
shifting on the very comfortable settle more than
showing
it. "It seems as though you have been sheltered
too far
since your time in the streets, yet I know not for
what
reason such a thing would be done. Do you believe
your
strength would also find it possible to best mine?"
"Now
don't start taking this personally," 1 tried to
soothe
him, only then remembering how touchy boys were
when
they decided it was time to be called men. "You and
I are
friends, and the one thing friends don't do together is
see
who's better. When you're older you'll understand
what I'm
talking about."
"Clearly,
the time has now arrived to speak of what I
wished
to speak of," he said, putting aside most of his
annoyance
as he half turned to face me, those blue eyes
having
grown somewhat stem. "I had meant to inform you
first
that never had I found interest in a woman who was
not of
an age with me, yet does it seem that the doings of
the
wizard have altered even this preference. As / have
become,
so have my interests followed."
"Are
you saying that you now like older women?" I
SHARON
GREEN
172
asked,
feeling somewhat uncomfortable—not to mention
ridiculous.
Being an "older woman" at twenty-two just
didn't
seem right. "If you are, then I really think you
ought
to know ..."
"Allow
me to finish," he interrupted, still with mat odd
look of
sternness, one big hand held up before him. "As I
said 1
had meant to say no more than that, yet does it now
seem
that I also feel with the weight of my years. Each of
my
daughters has attained a greater age than you, and now
do I
speak to you as I would speak to them."
"Your
daughters," I echoed, looking at his smooth,
young
face, the cheeks that seemed never to have been
shaved,
the broad shoulders that had the straightness and
arrogance
of extreme youth. "You have daughters older
than
me, so you're going to speak to me like a father."
"To
doubt my sanity is also to doubt the power of the
great
wizard," he told me with a very amused grin, obvi-
ously
enjoying my reaction to what he'd said. "When the
wizard
intervened I was in the midst of taking my own
life,
for it had grown to be a burden 1 could no longer
endure.
I was old, you see, and although still a king. no
longer
the warrior I had been. To give my pledge to strive
upon
this quest in return for my youth was a thing 1 did
gladly,
though I knew not then how great an amount of
that
youth would be restored. I am not a boy but a man,
Laciel,
and look upon you with the eyes of a man. I am
far,
far older than you, and previously would have merely
enjoyed
the sight of you, yet now . . . You are a flower of
youth
given to me with the return of my own."
He was
so serious, and those blue eyes were so direct
and
disconcerting, that looking down from them didn't
help at
all. So that was why Graythor had treated him as
though
he was much older, why he was usually able to
stay so
calm and unruffled. The doubts and uncertainties
of
youth were a long way behind him, and he felt he had a
right
to look at me the way he was doing. . . .
"And
so you see, though I seem to lack a proper
seasoning,
I am not truly without it," he went on very
gently,
putting one hand under my chin to raise my face to
him
again. "I will speak of my deeper feelings a bit later.
yet now
must we conclude the discussion earlier begun.
THE PAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
173
You
must not pit yourself against Rik, for without magic
you
shall not find it possible to equal him. He is a man and
you are
not."
"What
makes you think being a man is so special?" I
asked,
taking my face out of his hand with a part of the
annoyance
1 was feeling again. "I'm sure from your point
of view
it's the most important thing there is, but most of
the men
/ know don't stand a chance against me. What
makes
you think Rikkan Addis is any different."
"I
feel it safe to assume that 1 have known far more
men
than you," he said, the gentleness fading as he again
found
annoyance of his own. "Also am I surely far more
familiar
with women, and rarely does one find a woman
with
greater strength than a man. Of those tike you, large
women
with more strength than most, victories would
come
over men who have pursued objectives other than
those
of a warrior. Too often, men expand their minds at
the
expense of their bodies. Our leader is not one such as
that."
"Your
leader, maybe," I said in a mutter, putting my
feet
down flat on the floor and folding my arms as 1 looked
away
from him. "The rest of you may be afraid of him,
but I'm
not." ^
"There
is a vast difference between respect and fear," I
was
told, the tone of voice working its way back to calm
and
cool. "You dislike the man, therefore do you underes-
timate
him; often is it difficult for us to see those we
dislike
as superior to us. Your feelings are far from unnat-
ural, girl,
yet are they also far from wise In serious battle,
to
underestimate your enemy is to likely give him your
life.
Would you have me prove the truth of my words?"
"You
think you can prove an opinion?" 1 asked, not as
forcefully
as I would have a moment earlier. Graythor had
also
said something about underestimating the enemy, an
attitude
I already knew was stupid; was 1 seeing it as
stupid
only when someone else applied it to me, and not
when 1
indulged in it myself? Could 1 really be missing
that
important a point?
"Some
opinions are easily proven," he said, a shadow
of
amusement creeping back in his voice. "You must
know I
am well aware of what strength I possess, for that
174
SHARON
GREEN
strength
has ever been considerable—yet would I ponder
the
matter carefully before setting myself in opposition to
Rik.
With weapons I am certainly his superior, yet bare-
handed?
Perhaps, and yet perhaps not. In any event you, a
slender
girl, are certainly not, an—opinion—of mine which
may be
disproven only should your strength best mine.
Would
you care to make the attempt?"
I
turned my head to see the way he was looking at me,
with
confidence and laughter clear in his eyes, and sud-
denly
that no longer seemed such a bad idea. He wasn't,
after
all, a young boy whose emerging masculine ego had
to be
protected, and when 1 beat him he would probably
change
his mind over the way he felt about me. It was
almost
impossible thinking of him as an old man rather
than a
very young one, but whichever he was I preferred
having
him as a friend rather than as an unwanted
complication.
"If
you want to fight, I'm willing," I said with a shrug,
trying
to make it clear that I wasn't angry or insulted or
anything.
"if,I happen to hurt you, just tell me and I'll
stop.
Now, how do you want it? Linked with a silk scarf in
the
middle of the tent? Both hands free and anything goes?
Clearing
the furniture won't take more than a minute, and
then
..."
"No,
no, wait," he said, this time raising both hands in
protest.
"You are familiar with scarf battle? Where each
participant
holds to the scarf with his left hand, and the
one
first made to loose his hold is considered bested? I had
not
thought you would know such a thing."
"We
used a linen rag instead of a silk scarf, but we still
called
it silk-scarf battle," 1 answered with another shrug-
"1
suppose most people do no matter what they use. Is that
the way
you want to fight?"
"I—ah—think
not," he said. shaking his head slowly
and trying
to took very solemn. "It has been many years
since 1
last engaged in scarf battle, and I—ah—would not
care
to—urn—put myself at such risk. Perhaps you would
consent
to no battle at all, merely a contest of strength
against
strength. Such a contest was what I had in mind,
you
see, rather than even mock battle."
"But
that's awfully limited, isn't it?" I said with a
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
175
frown,
understanding why he didn't want to get hurt, but
still
having trouble picturing his suggestion. "Arm wres-
tling
is more a matter of balance and body-use than
strength,
so it isn't likely to prove anything. How else
would
we do it?"
"Like
so," he answered, reaching over and lifting me
into
his lap even before I could unfold my arms. "As you
say,
arm-wrestling would not suffice, therefore must we
find
another method. This, I think, will most easily settle
the
matter."
"This"
was his hands closing around my wrists, his
right
arm circling my back so that he could reach, my left
arm up
against his chest. Somehow my wrists looked
swallowed
up in his hands, and I didn't understand what
was
happening.
"You
now have only to escape me," he told my confu-
sion,
looking down into my eyes. "Force me, with strength,
to
release my hold on you, and I wili admit my error
concerning
your ability to face Rik. You told me, did you
not,
that he refused to allow the use of weapons? This,
then,
is the manner in which you will likely need to face
him,
should you prove yourself able. You may proceed
with
making the attempt." ..
"This
is stupid." 1 muttered, looking back at my wrists
and
moving them in his grip—or, at least, trying to. He
wasn't
holding me tight enough for it to hurt, but there
also
wasn't any slack in his grip. I reached for his left
wrist
with my right hand, thinking to hold it still while
freeing
myself from the hand, but I couldn't make his right
arm
move. It was ridiculous—not to mention upsetting—
but I
couldn't seem to do anything at all!
"To
a certain age, boy children and girl children are
much
the same in strength," I was casually told, the words
seeming
to have taken no notice at all of my efforts.
"When
once that age has passed, however, boy children
have a
far greater advantage, for their bodies are made to
develop
far greater strength. Time and again I saw this
among
my own children, just as I learned the thing person-
ally
when I was their age. How is it you have grown to the
size
you arc, and have not learned the same?"
I
didn't know what he was talking about, but suddenly I
176 SHARON GREEN
was
more angry than upset. Nothing like that had ever
happened
to me before, which meant it could be some sort
of
trick. He couldn't be that much stronger; if he were,
then
Rik would be the same! In desperation I really began
struggling
then, putting everything I had behind it includ-
ing
body weight, but it made very little difference. All I
accomplished
was squirming around on his lap, barely
moving
his arms any distance at all, ending up winded
while
he watched me as though it were someone else 1 was
struggling
with. After what seemed like a horribly long
time 1
was able to brace my left arm against his chest and
get
some small amount of purchase—which immediately
made him
change his tactics. Before I knew what was
happening
his arms were wrapped around me while his
hands
still held my wrists—which meant I was wrapped up
like a
beldame in winter.
"You
do indeed have greater strength than other fe-
males,"
he said with a laugh for the way I squawked in
protest,
holding me up against him. "Nearly were you
able to
free one of your wrists, an effort I had not antici-
pated.
Now, however, freeing yourself is beyond you, is it
not?"
"Not
if I use magic to clout you over the head," I
panted,
glaring at him as I tried to get even a little un-
wrapped.
"This is unfair and you know it! The least you
can do
is go back to the way we were."
"Ah,
but you will not use magic," he said with a wide
grin,
making no effort to do as I'd said. "This was to be a
contest
of strength rather than power, and so it will re-
main.
And yet, should you wish to return to your former
position,
there is a manner in which you may see it done."
"How?"
I asked, suddenly very suspicious of al! the
enjoyment
he was getting out of that comment. "By figur-
ing out
the trick you're using on me? If I could do that, I'd
not
only be back to where I was, I'd be free."
"No
more do 1 use upon you than strength," he said
with
that very irritating grin, looking as though he ex-
pected
me to believe him. "For your own sake must you
leam
this, therefore shall I not stint in my duty. Should
you
wish to be released, you must first allow me a taste of
your
Ups."
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
177
I
stared at him openmoulhed, refusing to believe he was
serious,
and that brought out the chuckling in him. I could
feel
the red staining my cheeks at me thought that he might
actually
be expecting me to buy myself loose by doing
something
like that, and his amusement softened just a
little.
"Truly
do you remind me of the woman of my heart,"
he
said, tightening his arms around me very slightly.
"She,
too, was filled with pride and innocence when first I
came
upon her, two things which greatly endeared her to
me. The
earliest taste of her lips was unparalleled plea-
sure, a
pleasure I mean to know again. Should we remain
in this
position for all of the darkness, we will neither of
us be
fit to ride at first light. With that in view, perhaps
you
would be wise to allow me my price without delay."
"Your
price," I echoed, aware that the flush in my
cheeks
was now being caused more by anger than embar-
rassment.
The witch apprentice Nedra didn't seem to mind
buying
something rather than earning it, but I'd never
liked
doing things that way. I stared silently at his satis-
fied,
expectant face for a moment,, seeing that he thought 1
had no
choice, then began struggling again with all my
strength. ^
The
unexpectedness of the thing and the way I turned in
toward
him, actually got my right wrist loose from his
hold.
That tel me do a good deal more in the way of
fighting
back, but instead of becoming upset, Kadrim
laughed
in delight. He immediately tried to recapture my
wrist,
but my struggling and fighting didn't let him do it. I
grabbed
a fistful of his long, thick red hair and tried to
force
his head back, beginning to enjoy the scuffle in spite
of my
initial anger, and then—
"What
in hell do you think you're doing?" a furious
voice
rang out, stopping everything in mid-motion. Kadrim
released
me immediately, which meant I was able to turn
and see
Zail where he stood, just inside my tent entrance.
The
dark-haired man was nearly livid, and his blazing eyes
were
riveted on Kadrim.
"Zail,
you don't understand," I began, hastily getting
to my
feet with a horrible sinking feeling inside, silently
178
SHARON GREEN
cursing
the fact that he'd had to show up just at that time.
"It
isn't what you ..."
"Just
because men attack women like that where you
come
from, doesn't mean you can get away with it here,"
Zail
went on furiously to Kadrim, ignoring everything I'd
said
and was trying to say, moving slowly forward. "You
need to
learn a lesson, boy, and I'm just the man to leach
it to
you."
"You
mean to teach me the proper manner in which
one
attacks women?" Kadrim asked in a very smooth
way,
rising to his feet behind me, making no attempt to tell
Zail
the truth about what we'd been doing. "Should that
proper
manner involve speaking head-turning words de-
signed
to beguile one who is bereft of all knowledge of
men,
you may save yourself the effort. A true man will
speak
openly of his desires, not attempt to see them satis-
fied
through opportunistic manipulation."
"Zaii,
please!" 1 tried, realizing with awful suddenness
mat
Kadrim was also moving forward toward Zail. "Kadrim,
don't.
. . !"
"A
true man will know the difference between a price-
less
work of art and a cheap, expendable bauble," Zail
growled,
his gray eyes on Kadrim's face, his voice having
turned
cold. "Manhandling the priceless just ruins it for all
time, a
fact only those with proper breeding seem to know.
The
rest find roses of mud to slobber over, which is no
more
than what they deserve. I warned you once before,
boy,
and now I'm all out of warnings."
"Just
as I am out of patience with being addressed as
something
I am not," Kadrim growled back, a!l of his
attention
on Zail and none for me where I stood in upset
frustration
between them. "A woman is more than a thing
whose
possession alone is coveted by a man. To find one
who
touches his soul as well as his heart may take a
lifetime,
to find two the same who do so is to be blessed
like
few others. No other thing than truth may be spoken
to one
such as that, the truth of a man with a woman, not
sickening-sweet
lies of . . ,"
"Lies?"
Zail snarled, his hands turned to fists to either
side of
him, the fury blazing up again. "Would a man
speak
lies to the woman he means to make his wife?
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
179
When
you find the most perfect thing you've ever seen
you
don't let it go again, and you don't do anything to hurt
it—or
let anyone else hurt it! It's time we settled this
between
us, before ..."
"Before
the quest is over?" another voice interrupted, a
calm
and even but very commanding voice. "Or have you
decided
to forget about the quest?"
Zail
turned quickly at that, stepping to the left so that
Rikkan
Addis became as easy for me to see as he'd been to
hear.
He, like Zail, still wore his sword, but the arms
folded
across his chest said he had no immediate intention
of
using it. InThig, by his side, sat on its haunches and
looked
interested.
"The
quest has nothing to do with this, Rik," Zail
protested
with what seemed like annoyance, returning the
bronze-eyed
stare that was being divided between him and
Kadrim.
"The boy and I have a private matter to settle,
which
won't affect the quest one way or the other."
"Even
if one of you is hurt or killed?" Rikkan Addis
asked,
still looking between them. "Zail, Kadrim isn't the
young
boy you think he is, and Kadrim, Zail isn't the
conscienceless
despoiler you think he is. Neither one of
you is
seeing things very cleariy, which I can understand
but
don't care to accept. You seem to have forgotten about
all
those people who will die a really horrible death if we
fail,
but I can't forget about them. Do you remember how
happy
and alive they were at the fair, how the men looked
at
their wives and children? Those men won't find it
possible
to do anything at all to save their families, they'll
just
have to stand helplessly by and watch them go through
the
tortures of Hellfire before a grisly death takes them—
which is
more likely to happen if one of you isn't in shape
to do
what has to be done. Is that what you want? Are
your
differences so pressing that they have to be settled
now,
when there's more to be lost than gained? If you win
your
own private desires but lose the life of a world, will it
be
worth it?"
Zail
and Kadrim were suddenly very silent, their expres-
sions
showing they knew what happened with things you
give up
everything to possess. One day you wake up to
i8o
SHARON
GREEN
realize
exactly what's been lost, and the one thing you're
left
with never means the same to you again.
"I
think you two had better go back to your tents now,"
Rikkan
Addis said, his voice still calm and quiet. "I'll
walk
over there with you."
Zail
nodded and headed for the tent flap behind Rik,
Kadrim
pausing only long enough to retrieve his swordbelt
before
doing the same. Fearless leader waited until they'd
both
gone out ahead of him, looked at me with very little
friendliness
and said, "I'll be back in a minute," then
took
his own turn at exiting. I didn't much care for his
entire
attitude, but I turned back to the settle and folded
onto it
with something much more important bothering
me- I
hadn't noticed it sooner, but something very strange
was
going on.
1 lay
down on the cushions with my hands to my eyes,
feeling
the decent amount of strength still left to me,
almost
wishing I were too tired to see what was so obvious
when
waves of exhaustion weren't fogging my thinking.
So Zail
wanted, to marry me, did he. and Kadrim had
something
of the same in mind? After knowing me for all
of two
days? So completely sure of their love that they
would
fight one another to see who the lucky man would
be?
Everyone kept insisting on how innocent I was, but
even if
they were right that still wouldn't mean ! was also
blind
and illiterate. Instant love happened in books, not in
any
part of the worlds I'd ever seen, and certainly not to
someone
like me with two men. If I hadn't been so flus-
tered,
I would surely have seen the point much sooner.
I took
my fingers from my eyes and stared up at the
gray
tent ceiling, feeling horribly disappointed even though
I'd
unconsciously been expecting Zail to come to his
senses
at any time and have second thoughts about what
he'd
been doing. It had taken Rikkan Addis' comments
about
the quest to make me think, and the thoughts that
had
come were inescapable: Zail and Kadrim were under a
spell,
one that was probably reinforced every time we
stepped
out of a gate. The enemy knew quite a lot about
us, it
seemed, and knew exactly what would happen if two
of the
male members of our expedition decided they couldn't
live
without one of the female ones. That was why I was
THE PAR
SIDE OF FOREVER l8l
"lovely"
to Kadrim and "priceless" to Zail; they were
meant
to fight over me and hurt each other doing it, and in
the
process ruin our chances of succeeding in the quest.
They
weren't paying all that attention to me because they
wanted
to but because they had no choice, and it was all
due to
whoever our enemy was. I'd thought I'd hated him
before;
now 1 was learning the real meaning of the word
"hatred."
Staring
up at a ceiling or roof is at times compelling,
especially
when there are certain truths you're trying to
keep
from thinking about. I was lost in bitter folds of gray,
knowing
nothing about what amount of time had passed,
when I
heard someone entering my pavilion. I had no idea
who it
was, and wouldn't have cared even if it was another
beast
coming for me in attack; my mood had activated
some of
my automatic defenses, and anything that attacked
me
would be very, very sorry it had.
"Well,
at least that's taken care of," a not-very-happy
voice
said, reminding me that Rikkan Addis had said he
would
be back. "I didn't like having to use that much
Persuasion
on them, but it was either that or let them fight
it out,
with each other or with me. Using Persuasion on
men is
too much like making them slaves, and I don't like
having
to do it."
1 lay
on my back on the settle, still staring up at the tent
roof,
refraining from pointing out that he was repeating
himself.
Persuasion had to be the talent he had that Graythor
had
mentioned to me, the talent of making others believe
what he
believed or what he wanted them to believe.
Being a
sorceress meant nothing like that couid affect me,
but 1
almost wished it could; then I could have asked him
to tell
me I wasn't the biggest fool in all the worlds there
were.
"They've
born given me their word that they won't let
themselves
fight over you until mis is all over," fearless
leader
went on, pretending I wasn't ignoring him. "What
happens
with you three after that is none of my business,
but
until then ! don't want to find either one of them in this
tent
again. Do you understand me?"
"I
think it's safe to assume 1 speak a good many more
languages
than you do," 1 said without moving my eyes,
l82
SHARON GREEN
feeling
not the least urge to look at him. "With that in
view,
you may rest assured your subtle hints have come
through
with full comprehension. If that was all you wanted,
you can
. . ."
"That
was not all 1 wanted," he interrupted with his
usua!
charm, a definite growl beginning in his voice- "1
came
here in the first place to repeat a point I thought I
made
clear enough yesterday. Since I now know 1 was
wrong,
we'll just have to go over it again, this time a little
more
thoroughly."
1
didn't know what he was talking about, but I was
also
too distracted to care. Al! 1 wanted him to do was get
to his
point and leave.
"Didn't
you see the way Zail first began talking to
me?"
he demanded when it was clear i had nothing to say,
exasperation
wrapping itself around him. "He was an-
noyed
that I'd dared to interrupt the argument, and Kadnm
wasn't
looking much more patient. If I hadn't been able to
use
Persuasion on them, I probably would have had to
fight
them both. You can't keep treating me like some
uninteresting,
unintelligent burden without having it affect
the
discipline among the rest of the group, just the way it
already
has. You and J arc going to have a nice long talk
about
this, long enough to make you see reason. Now, sit
up and
look at me like a good girl, or I'll have to help you
do it."
"The
best thing you can do about anything right now is
leave
me alone," 1 began, finally understanding that sim-
ply
ignoring him would not get rid of him. I was about to
add
something about discipline never being a problem for
a real
leader, but he was suddenly standing next to the
settle
and staring down at me, and then he was reaching
out
with both hands, as though to take my arms. it all
happened
so fast 1 was barely able to blurt, "Hey,
don't.
. . !" before his hands reached my arms—with a
result
he hadn't expected.
He
didn't quite scream with the pain as the electric-blue
sparks
flared, throwing him back away from me, but he
did
shout as he fell, a wordless sound of hurt and shock. I
sat up
as fast as I could, seeing InThig on its feet near my
tent
entrance, a flinching sympathy in its blazing red eyes
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 183
r
for the
man who now crouched on -all fours on my carpet-
ing,
trying to keep himself from collapsing. His nervous
system
had had a really nasty jolt, and I was faintly
surprised
that he wasn't flattened.
"Were
you bom stupid, or did you have to practice?" I
demanded
as I got to my feet, looking down at his shud-
dering
body. "Didn't anyone ever teach you better than to
try to
put your hands on a sorceress? Nothing happened to
you
yesterday because we were supposed to be fighting.
and i
don't consider it fair to use defensive magic during a
physical
fight. Are you all right?"
"Never
better," he gasped, head down, still trying to
recover
control of his body. "If that's what you had in
mind as
a reception for Kadrim and Zail, I shouldn't have
wasted
my time interfering. Or maybe I was doing them
more of
a favor than I knew."
"Do
you want me to call someone to help you back to
your
tent?" 1 asked, ignoring everything else he'd said.
"You
should be feeling better in the morning, but not
much
before that. You're lucky you're not unconscious—or
dead."
"Yeah,
lucky." he muttered, taking a deep breath be-
fore
slowly beginning to push-himself back to his feet.
Once
erect, he added, "I always have been a lucky devil.
And
thanks for the offer of help, but 1 think I can make it
on my
own. Have a pleasant evening."
He
looked at me once, the oddest expression in those
bronze
eyes, his right hand rubbing his left arm, and then
he
turned and moved slowly and painfully toward the way
out.
InThig shifted out of his path without comment, but.
once
the silk had fallen back to cover the entrance, it made
up for
the lack.
"Laciel,
that was obscene," it growled, those red eyes
now
lacking all traces of compassion, "And I would like
to know
how you did that. I was under the impression that
Graythor
had protected him from your magic."
"Graythor
obviously protected him from offensive
magic,"
I said with a shrug, feeling a good deal more tired
than
the activities of the day would account for. "He
triggered
one of my defensive spells, which can be consid-
184
SHARON
GREEN
ered
him taking rather than me giving. I still don't know
what
the man expected that idiocy to accomplish."
"He
expected to try reasoning with you," InThig re-
turned,
not far from bristling tike the cat it pretended to
be.
"In my opinion, your treatment of him should have
earned
you far more, as it did so long ago with Graythor.
A brisk
paddling or two would do you no end of good.*'
"How
sweet of you to be so concerned about me,
InThig,"
I responded, feeling my body stiffen along with
my tone
as I met that flaming red gaze. "I can't tell you
how
much I appreciate it, but there's something else I
don't
mind telling you at all: if you're that much on his
side, 1
think you'd do better staying in his tent."
The red
eyes stared at me in silence for a moment,
unblinking
and unreadable, and then the big black head
nodded
very slowly.
"Perhaps
1 would at that," it allowed in a very even
tone,
closing the subject with a finality I really hadn't
expected
to hear. It turned then and padded out of the tent,
silent
and flowing like a brief, gentie breeze in the heat of
the
night, and then was as quickly gone. I stood there
staring
for a moment but it really was gone, taking me at
my word
as it had never done before. I turned slowly from
the
entrance to look around at my empty tent, my bare feet
chilly
despite the warmth of the carpeting under them, then
just as
slowly went to my bed.
Lying
down across a wide, comfortable bed is supposed
to feel
really good. but there are times when nothing in the
entire
universe has the power to make you feel good. More
than
anything it felt the way it had all those years I could
still
remember so clearly, curling up in a shivering ball on
the
floor of some deserted warehouse, hungry and cold and
all
alone. There was no silk cover under my cheek, only
my arm
protecting it from splintered and filthy boards,
nothing
to look forward to once that night was done but
more
nights and days of the same. And through it all I had
to be
strong and brave, never flinching or showing when I
was
hurt, never backing away in fear—and never crying.
I moved
around on the very soft cover, feeling the tears
already
in my eyes, too miserable to be as disgusted with
myself
as I should have been. Rikkan Addis had been hurt
',..
*•.
^
185
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
by my
automatic defenses, but I hurt a lot more and
basically
it was all his fault. If not for him 1 would still
believe
that 1 really meant something special to someone,
that I
really wasn't so different that no one but Morgiana
could
ever love me. Right then I felt uglier and more
unwanted
than I ever had in my life, and the pain was
worse
than I would have thought possible.
Zail,
beautiful Zaii. where would those gray eyes be
looking
if you weren't under a spell? Probably at Dranna,
but
certainly not at me. Your lips were so gentle and warm
that I
wasn't frightened at all, or at least not much. And
Kadrim—would
we even be friends if not for magic, or
would
you be totally uninterested in silliness like that? I
rolled
over onto my stomach to stare down at my hands,
but
blurriness kept me from seeing them clearly. I felt like
such an
absolute fool, such a naive, believing infant, an
imbecile
who blindly accepted everything told her. Graythor
had
warned me not to believe, but I hadn't understood his
warning
so I had ignored it. So much for thinking you
knew
everything there was to know.
I
swiped at my eyes with the back of my right hand, but
it
didn't do any good. The tears were still leaking out in
the
sort of shamefaced way that they had, knowing how
much 1
didn't want them but forcing themselves through
anyway.
I was sure Su never cried like a baby. and if
Dranna
ever did it would only be for a purpose, never
helplessly
out of misery. I wondered briefly if she had ever
used
tears on Rik, and then moaned when I remembered
something
she'd said about him. She'd talked about it
being a
good thing he wouldn't be "pursuing his own
interest,"
which meant she'd seen something I hadn't
thought
of. If it was bad having two men of our group
arguing
over me, wouldn't it be worse with alt three of
them
doing it? That was only logical, which meant Rik
was
also under the spell—and would have been right there
with
the other two if we hadn't gotten off on the wrong
foot
with each other and then stayed there. The men would
spend
their time arguing, fighting, and trying to outmaneu-
ver
each other, I would be too starry-eyed at all the
attention
to see the truth, and the quest would end up
going
downhill into total oblivion. It was attack from a
186
SHARON
GREEN
direction
we never would have suspected even after it was
too
late, an attack more vicious than anything we'd faced
yet,
even on the forest world.
I sat
up and folded my legs in front of me, wiped at my
eyes
again, then looked around my tent. The enemy had
found a
way to reach me even there, even in the middle of
me
haven I had created, and 1 knew I would never be able
to
forget about or forgive that particular invasion. Every-
thing
about the quest had suddenly changed for me, except
for the
most important part: the overwhelming desire to
succeed.
That part of it was stronger than ever now, fueled
by
humiliation and rage and bottomless pain. 1 had no
doubt
that the enemy and 1 would eventually meet face to
face,
and I looked forward to that time as I had never
looked
forward to another. Striking from an unseen direc-
tion is
often unwise; if the blow lands wrong, you haven't
taken
from your opponent's strength but added to it.
I knew
it was already full dark out, knew I ought to eat
the
food I'd created and then get a good night's sleep, but
I had
no appetite and my eyes didn't seem to be in the
mood to
close. I stared around at the beautiful but silently
empty
tent, wishing magic could provide the truly impor-
tant
things in life, then lay back again to imagine what it
might
have been like to be held in the arms of a man who
really
loved me. I knew then that I'd never find out for
certain,
but even dangerous, powerful sorceresses arc enti-
tled to
dream.
^~
&•
CHAPTER
6
1 was
up and out so early the next morning that I had time
to
saddle all the horses before anyone else began stirring.
The
rising sun was streaking the sky with a heavy, un-
friendly
red, but I stood looking up at it without feeling the
least
intimidated. I was ready for that world and whatever
it
would throw at us, ready in a way i wasn't supposed te
be. I
had even had a good breakfast to make up for the meal
I'd
missed the night before, which I intended counting as
the
first victory of the day. There would be other victories
later
to til! a different hollow inside me, a hollow I really
needed
to have filled.
"You
were rather wise suggesting I spend the night with
Rik,"
a quiet, nearly diffident voice said from behind me,
breaking
into my examination of the sky. "He was in a
good
deal of pam for a time, and welcomed my presence
and
assistance. Your own night passed more peacefully, I
hope?"
"Yes,
it did," I answered shortly, making no effort to
turn
and look at the demon. I'd forgotten for a while that
you
can't trust anyone but yourself not to turn on you, but
I'd
been reminded of that fact the night before. The last
thing I
needed just then was someone who thought I ought
to be
beaten—by its brand-new, bosom-buddy fnend.
"Well,
then—everything's fine, then, isn't it?" the very
hearty
words came after the pause I hadn't used to add
anything,
the pause that had grown rather awkward. "To-
187
188
SHARON
GREEN
night,
of course, f'll be back in my usual place near your
bed."
"Don't
bother," I said and then walked away, making
sure
there was nothing to show that I'd had that nightmare
again
the night before. I'd never been able to remember
that
nightmare once I was awake, but 1 always knew it was
me same
one—and me night before InThig hadn't been
there
to tell me everything was all right when I awoke
from
it. I'd remembered then that InThig was with some-
one it
liked better, but 1 hadn't cried; I'd learned a long
tune
ago that tears don't do a damned thing to help-
i
wandered around a little until the others began emerg-
ing
from their pavilions, then mounted my gray and waited
a short
distance from the other horses. Su raised a hand to
me in
greeting as she passed and I nodded in return, but
that
was about it as far as my capability for the amenities
went. I
was on the quest to protect the group and to be a
part of
it, but I no longer wanted to be a part of it. I would
shield
them with magic, provide what they needed, and
fight
with everything in me to see that they won—but I
didn't
want to be one of them.
It
didn't take long before everyone was mounted, so I
banished
the camp with a word and then followed when Su
took up
the trail again. All in all everyone seemed rather
subdued
that morning, and the landscape we were riding
through
did nothing to encourage friendly conversation.
Tall
grass surrounded us just about as far as the eye could
see,
with larger and smaller stands of trees scattered hap-
hazardly
through it, a world that felt empty and yet not
empty,
full of life that wasn't our sort. Even that early in
the
morning the cool of darkness was being chased away.
letting
us know that the heat of the day would probably be
something
special. The horses, clearly well-rested, were
making
no attempt to rush the pace, which meant they
knew
what was coming. It would have been nice if we
could
have said the same—about something other than the
heat.
"You
were right," a voice came from my left, and
Rikkan
Addis moved up to ride beside me, about ten feet
back
from where Su rode in the lead. "I couldn't quite
believe
it last night, but this morning me pain is all gone.
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 189
InThig
said I activated your automatic defenses, so that
what
happened most likely wasn't done deliberately. That's
another
thing I wasn't ready to believe last night."
He
chuckled very faintly and paused, as if waiting for
me to
agree concerning my peaceful intentions, maybe
even
waiting for me to share the joke- I didn't see any joke
and
wasn't feeling very peaceful, so I just let the silence
stretch.
After the gap had widened a bit, fearless leader got
the
message-
"InThig
is really upset," he said, all traces of jolly
amusement
gone from his voice- "It said you two had an
argument
last night, and when it tried to apologize this
morning,
you refused to listen. It really cares for you,
Laciet;
don't you think you're being too hard on it?"
"What
1 do is my business," I said. undoubtedly sound-
ing as
distant as I felt. "When I want your opinions I'll
ask for
them, and in the meantime you can let InThig care
about
you. I don't need any garbage like that."
1
kicked my gray into moving forward away from him,
still
not having looked at him even once. InThig had liked
him
almost from the first moment it had met him, and I
hoped
me two of them would be very happy together. As
far as
1 was concerned, I couldn't have cared less.
We
continued in peace and quiet for a while, no more
than
the sounds of our horses* hooves and the cries of
birds
overhead breaking in, and then, without warning, we
were
being attacked. The—things—rose up out of the
grass
in front of us, white-eyed, greenish brown sheets that
spread
out right in our path, rectangular and silent and
waiting
for us with open arms. It was fairly clear what
would
happen if any of us ended up clasped in those wide
embraces,
and for an instant it seemed that Su, who was
ahead
of me, would fall right into one. She had pulled
back on
her reins at the first sight of the things, her pinto
trying
desperately to obey, but the creature directly in front
of her
was too close. It stood taller than horse and rider
together,
and was emitting a sound of eagerness that could
be felt
more than heard. It wanted to eat, and was just
about
to do so.
My gray
skidded to a halt in the midst of shouts and
SHARON
GREEN
screams
and almost reared, but my own calm helped to
keep
him calm—and let me do what I was so ready to do.
1
raised my right hand and pointed to the creature that was
about
one step away from enfolding Su and her horse, then
spoke
the spell I'd decided on very early that morning.
There
was a sound like the heavy rushing of air, and then
the
blackness appeared right next to me creature; the thing
paused,
turned white eyes on the blackness, then had time
for a
single scream before it was absorbed. The blackness
had
drawn it in and engulfed it, both at the same time. and
the
creature hadn't had a chance.
There
were other greenish brown sheets both in front of
us and
to the sides, and 1 quickly moved the blackness
after
them. They screamed when they saw it coming and
stared
at it with very round eyes, but none of them tried to
run
from it. I thought I knew why that was, and briefly felt
very
sorry for the sheets, but there was nothing else I
could
do. One by one the blackness engulfed them all,
searched
briefly to make sure it hadn't missed any of
them,
then disappeared with satisfaction when I spoke the
banishing
word. I hadn't expected the thing to feel satis-
faction,
and I had to hold back a shudder even as I got rid
of it.
It was then that I noticed the heavy silence all
around,
which Su broke after taking a deep breath.
"Don't
know what those were, but I'm sure glad they're
gone,"
she said, raising one arm to blot at her forehead.
"Thought
I'd had it there for a minute, and that's close
enough
to hold me for a while. Didn't even have time to
clear
my scabbard. What was that you used against them?"
"It
was an entry to another plane," I answered, under-
standing
that Su's long, involved speech—long for her,
that
is—was a symptom of fear and relief. "It came to me
that
what we faced on this world might be protected
against
magic, so I prepared something that would handle
anything,
protected or not. That plane doesn't contain life,
it
seems to have a life of its own; its entries will go after
anyone
calling them into being, unless the callers have
protected
themselves, and then they'll go after anything
not
protected. Ordinary warding won't stop them for an
instant;
they're not using magic, so they don't have to be
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 191
able to
See things. They simply engulf whatever's there,
no
matter what shape it is, and then go looking for more.
My
spell protected us and the horses, but not the sheets."
"Perhaps
I am mistaken, yet does it seem as though
there
is considerable danger in the use of such an—entry."
Kadnm's
voice came from behind me, sounding faintly
worried,
"is that plane not one which is best avoided?"
"The
best way to avoid that plane is to know how to
reach
it," 1 said, glancing back to see that he still held his
sword
in his fist. "What you want to avoid doing is
stumbling
over it while unprepared. 1 suppose most of the
Sighted
remember the spell so that they'll never invoke it,
but
then most of the Sighted don't engage in quests like
this
one. We needed it so I used it, and now we'd better
get moving
again."
No one
seemed tembly eager to move on, but when it
came to
other choices, we had none. Dranna had been
between
Zail and Rik, white-faced and trembling with one
hand to
her mouth, but even she hadn't protested going on.
We all
knew that sitting in one place didn't mean we
would
not be attacked again, so trying it wasn't worth the
effort.
I didn't tell them that the sheets had probably been
under a
compulsion to attack JIS—which was why they
hadn't
run when they could have. If one life form was
under
compulsion so might the rest of them be, and that
meant
we'd have to wipe out future attackers rather than
finding
it possible to drive them off. If that turned out to
be
true, the rest of them would leam it soon enough.
We
traveled on across that world, at first finding it
possible
to avoid the stands of trees, but the time finally
came
when the trail led right through the middle of one.
InThig
went through first, ail senses alert, but nothing
jumped
out at it in attack. We followed cautiously, ready
for
just about anything, but the same thing happened with
us. No
trap, no ambush, no attack—nothing-
"
Don't any of you relax," Rikkan Addis said as soon as
were
back in the open. his voice distracted and annoyed as
he
continued to look around- "They're probably ready to
hit as
soon as we do relax, and this sort of safe passage is
designed
to make it happen, i don't want any of you on
192
SHARON GREEN
edge,
but 1 do want you alert. Keep your eyes open and
we'll
be fine.'*
"Fine,"
I echoed with a laugh, then urged my gray
after
Su's pinto without adding anything. There's a big
difference
between keeping up morale and lying in your
teeth,
but fearless leader seemed never to have learned
that. I
had the impression he wasn't very happy with my
comment,
but didn't bother turning around to check.
Fifteen
minutes later we learned how "fine" we were
' going
to be. The pack of dog-like things jumped out at us
from me
tall grass the way the sheets had, but they were
considerably
faster and a lot more agile. InThig was at-
tacked
first and then they were leaping at the rest of us,
snarls
and growls mixing with screams and shouts and the
neighing
of horses. Most of them were various shades of
brown
but the teeth in their mouths were pure white,
something
we were able to see much too easily. Before we
were
able to blink they were in our laps, and the fight was
on for
certain.
The
first two or three that came at me died quickly,
engulfed
in blue, but 1 was too busy trying to stay in my
saddle
to really notice. My gray was also being attacked
and was
fighting back with hooves and teeth, nearly un-
seating
me in the process. When 1 was finally able to look
around
I saw that Su and the men were using daggers
rather
than swords, and InThig had taken care of the ones
that
had gone after it and was now back helping with the
rest.
The barks and growls and screams were nearly deaf-
ening
and the brown bodies were beginning to be piled
high,
but they were still coming on. 1 quickly spoke a spell
of
power, hoping it would do some good, but no such luck.
The
dog-things were warded, and all my spell did was
make
them shiver, as though shaking water off their backs.
I would
have enjoyed muttering curses under my breath,
but you
can't do that and speak a spell at the same time. I
looked
at the dog-things and Saw down to the bones and
hearts
of them, described their basic patterns, then created
me
daggers keyed to those patterns. The long, sharp dag-
gers
winked into existence, gleamed silver in the sunlight,
then
quickly turned a smeared red as they began doing
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
193
their
job. Growls turned to screams and whines and yelps,
men
disappeared into twitching silence; in a matter of
minutes
the daggers were done, and so were the dog-things.
It
would have been nice if we could have ridden away
from
there then, but just about everyone but me had been
clawed
and bitten and first needed to be healed. 1 kept the
daggers
on alert as I first Saw to the horses and then the
people,
mending them one at a time as I had no choice
about
doing. You can get away with mass healing if
everyone
has a headache or indigestion or a fever, banish-
ing the
ailment in general rather than getting down to
specifics;
when it comes to wounds, though, you rarely
have
anything but specifics.
Once
everyone was taken care of we moved on again,
grimly
determined to remember that we were moving
toward
the gate oul of there, not just on to the next attack on
the
list. After the first few minutes 1 got rid of the daggers
that
were keyed to the dog-things, certain the next, group
of
attackers would be something new, and it turned out I
was
right. The sun had risen angry and hot, making the air
around
us heavy and too quiet, and that's the direction the
open-ended
balloons came from, the over-bright, too-silent
sky.
Unfortunately for them their shadows gave us warn-
ing,
and we looked up to see them no more than fifty feet
above
us, descending rapidly like gaping, orange mouths
moving
soundlessly in for the kill.
Dranna
gave a small gasp of horror, but even she was
becoming
too used to being attacked to go all screaming
and
hysterical. The sound of swords being drawn was a
single
sound, caused by everyone doing it at the same
moment,
but there was no need to let things come to
close-up
combat. I spoke the spell and gestured in the
necessary
arc, and when the balloon things reached a
height
of ten feet above us, they began frying and explod-
ing in
fiery blue sparks. I'd extended one of my personal
defenses
to cover all of us, a defense I wouldn't have been
able to
make adequate use of if the balloons had been as
substantial,
say, as the dog-things. For some reason spread-
ing out
a field tike that thins it, making it more and more
tenuous
the more it's stretched. The dog-things might have
SHARON
GREEN
194
sizzled
a little going through it, but that would have been
alt;
the balloon things were too flimsy to ignore even that
weak a
charge, and as they fell into it they fried and
burned.
As soon
as all the balloon-mouths were caught in the
field,
we rode away from the greasy smudges floating in
the
still air. It would have been nice if everything could
have
been kept away from us that easily, but it wasn't a
fun-time
joy ride we were on. The next attackers were
very
tiny but their teeth weren't, and they soared out of a
nearby
stand of trees to reach us. The others needed to be
healed
again after that, and the silence we rode on in was
thicker
than it had been.
Noon
seemed to take a very long time coming, even
longer
than what we went through would account for. The
heat
rose higher and higher, there was no knowing when
we
would spring the next trap, and some of the waits
between
attacks were worse than the attacks themselves.
By the
time Rikkan Addis decided to call a rest stop, we
al!
fett as though we'd been traveling on that world for a
week.
"I
don't think I have the strength to climb out of this
saddle,"
Zail said when we stopped, voicing the thoughts
of just
about everybody. "If the afternoon turns out to be
anything
like the morning, we'll be six piles of bones
when we
reach the gate."
"But
we will reach it," Rikkan Addis said, eyeing the
soap-bubble
sphere I'd surrounded us with before beginning
to
dismount. "Once we get there we can take a decent
rest,
but there's no sense in wasting whatever rest we can
get out
of this stop. And ! want everyone to eat first, as
much as
they can stuff down. You can't keep going if your
insides
are empty."
Nothing
but a few groans greeted those words of wis-
dom; if
I hadn't been so wilted from the heat I would
certainly
have found some sort of comment to make, but I
was too
hot, and also too distracted by the experiment I
was
trying. The heat of a sun like the one above us was a
good
deal more substantial than most people realized, and
substance
was a major building block of magic. That
world
was draining us with its heat as well as with traps
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
195
and
ambushes; if things worked out right, it would now
start
giving some of that back.
It took
a few minutes, but eventually all of us were on
our
feet and the horses were left alone to graze. We
ignored
the tall, waving grass outside the bubble and tried
to make
ourselves comfortable, all of us picking a solitary
piece
of ground to sit or lie on—all of us, that is, but Rik.
Fearless
leader had been the first to notice that Dranna was
sitting
on the ground and crying quietly, a hopeless, strength-
less
sound to the thing, so he'd been the one to go over,
crouch
down, and put an arm around her. He spoke to her
very
softly, so softly that his words didn't reach any of the
rest of
us, and after a short while they seemed to help. The
small
woman nodded, as though wearily agreeing to some-
thing,
then dabbed at her eyes before joining Rik in check-
ing
what the food baskets held. I lay back in the grass I'd
shortened
and closed my eyes, not yet up to having an
interest
in food.
I
suppose the only one of us who didn't fall asleep was
InThig,
who continued to prowl around outside the bubble
and,
for the most part, out of sight. I awoke to find that
not
much time had passed, but I still felt alert and alive
and as
full of energy and strength as it was possible to be
without
needing to jump up and down, clapping hands and
squealing
in delight. That last wouldn't have fit in well
with
the rest of my continuing mood, but I still felt a large
measure
of satisfaction over my experiment having proven
a
success. The bubble around us was converting the heat
of the
sun into energy human bodies could absorb, and
even
though I was expending strength in maintaining the
complex
spell, the return was greater than the expenditure.
I'd
adapted the system plants use, hoping the modification
would
work with something I hadn't Seen except in the
unmodified
state, and I'd been successful. I sat up and
stretched
comfortably, knowing I'd been taking a chance
with
the experiment, but there hadn't been much choice, if
we'd
had to go on the way we were, we might not have
made it
to the next gate.
"The
others seem to be deep in slumber yet," a voice
said
from my right, more of a whisper than a normal
announcement.
"We two alone appear to be awake."
196 SHARON GREEN
I
looked over at Kadrim where he crouched beside me,
seeing
the restored vitality in his eyes—as well as some-
thing
more. Just as he'd said, we seemed to be the only
two
awake, and that fact pleased him—the way it was
meant
to.
"It
won't be long now before everyone's awake," I
said,
keeping my voice just as low, but a good deal more
neutral.
"I'm going to get something to eat."
I rose
to my feet without waiting for any sort of com-
ment,
which seemed to surprise him to some extent. I
could
feel that surprise following behind me as 1 walked to
the
nearest food basket and bent to see what I wanted, and
then he
was crouching beside me again.
"Are
you perhaps disturbed by the disagreement in
which I
allowed myself to become involved last dark-
ness?"
he asked almost at once, a faint discomfort color-
ing the
question. "It was not my intention to cause you
upset,
yet did I feel that it was more than time I spoke of
my true
feelings. There will not be such heated words
between
Zail .and myself again till the quest has been
completed,
yet would I .have you know that I mean to
press
for your hand at mat time."
"Which
hand did you intend pressing for?" I asked,
glancing
at him in innocent curiosity as I withdrew a roast
chicken
leg and a corn biscuit from the basket. "I tend to
use my
right hand more often in spells, but I can also use
my left
if I have to."
"Which
hand?" he echoed, staring at me with the sort
of confusion
that made him seem as young as he looked.
"Perhaps
I have failed to make myself sufficiently clear,
girl.
Though I speak of pressing for your hand, it is all of
you I
mean to have—in proper marriage. You will then be
my
queen, and I will conquer the world and lay it at your
feet as
a bride gift."
"I
feel as though I'm repeating myself, but which world
did you
intend conquering?" I asked between bites of the
still-warm
chicken, giving him only a little more attention
than I
was giving to the food. "Some wizards claim there
are an
infinite number of worlds, and if that's true, what's
just
one world among them? Especially if it happens to be
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 197
a world
like this one. Ugh. Once this quest is over, I
intend
keeping it as far away from my feet as possible."
"I—ah—I,
too, feel the same," he said, a strangely
helpless
look in those blue eyes, his hand on the food
basket
in what appeared to be an attempt to keep a grip on
reality
and normalcy. "It would, of course, be my own
worid
which I conquered for you. It would please you to
be
queen of so lovely a world, would it not?"
"Morgiana
says being a queen is dull,*' I told him,
looking
into the basket again for the fried potatoes that
should
have been there. "Once, while she was still a
sorceress
at about my level of power, she made herself
queen
of some place or other. None of the natives were
able to
stand against her magic, of course, but she couldn't
take
the boredom for more than a year before she gave the
place
back and left. Once sorcerers and sorceresses reach a
certain
level in their studies, they're encouraged to do that
sort of
thing if they find the idea at all attractive. Some of
them
stay kings or queens and never go on to being
wizards,
but most prefer studying magic to ruling."
"!—see,"
he said very quietly, looking away with an
expression
that was worse than an open wound. "Perhaps
this
discussion had best wait till the quest is done with.
One
need not be a king, nor go aconquering . . ,"
He
straightened to standing without finishing his sen-
tence
and simply walked away, more hurt than I'd wanted
him to
be, but harmed less than my encouraging him
would
have done. When the quest was over he'd be free of
the
spell, and also free of the need to find all sorts of
excuses
as to why he wasn't quite as interested in me as
he'd
thought he was. I stopped stuffing my face very
briefly
as I watched him go, feeling the emptiness beside
me that
the presence of a friend would have filled, then
sneered
at myself as I deliberately went back to eating.
Only me
weak needed someone beside them to lean on,
and I
wasn't weak. If I hadn't yet teamed how much better
being
alone was, I'd be stupid beyond redemption.
I
continued to eat everything that interested me, sipping
now and
then from a cup of ale, and then another male
body
materialized on my right, sitting down instead of
crouching.
A big hand slid across my back before coming
198 SHARON GREEN
to rest
on my left arm, and two lips brushed my cheek with
a kiss.
"You
poor thing, you're all wet from the heat of this
place,"
Zail said, true commiseration and pity in his voice.
'*If
this quest was any less important than it is, I'd insist
that
you be allowed to go back to a civilized world. Like
the
world I'll be taking you to once this is all over, my
own
world. You'll love it there, Laciel, and my family
will be
as crazy about you as I am. I was going to give the
Living
Flame to my father, to add to our collection, but I
think
1*11 give it to you instead, as a wedding gift."
"The
Living Flame," I mused, really having a hard
time
keeping myseif from reacting to his nearness and
caresses.
"That's an old scepter, isn't it? I'm not very
interested
in things like that, Zail. but you don't have to
worry
about having only one of it to give away. I'll make
a
second."
"You'll—what?"
he asked sitting very still and sound-
ing as
if he hadn't heard right before laughing an abrupt,
dismissive
laugh. "Silly girl, you can't make a copy of a
work of
an like that and expect it to be worth anything. A
copy's
only a copy."
"But
Zail, with magic it won't be a copy," I protested,
turning
my head to look at him the same way I'd looked at
Kadrim-
"At my level of ability what you'll have will be
an
exact duplicate, so exact that no one will ever be able to
tell
them apart. I could even make three or four if you
liked,
or maybe duplicate your entire collection. Then you
and
your father could each have your own collection."
'Three
or four duplicates of a one-of-a-kind master-
piece,"
he said woodenly, staring at me in veiled horror as
he took
his arm back. "Two or three or a dozen exact
copies
of a collection unmatched anywhere for a thousand
years."
His muttered words stopped as he shook his head,
his
face pale as though he were shaking off a nightmare,
and
then he tried really hard to give me a warm smile.
"Maybe
we'd better wait a short while before discussing
this
again," he said, raising his fingertips to my cheek in a
distracted
sort of way. "I'm sure I can make you under-
stand—but
not now, not right now."
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 199
He got
to his feet and walked away more quickly than
Kadnm
had, but this time I didn't watch. Instead I emptied
my cup
of ale quickly, then let it refill itself in accordance
with my
spell. Two down and none to go, and the second
had
hurt far worse than the first. If his interest had been
real I
probably couldn't have done it, but if his interest had
been
real I wouldn't have had to. Neither Kadrim nor Zail
had
known, deep down where it matters, that I was a
sorceress;
now they knew, and even the spell couldn't
keep
them from having second thoughts.
1
doggedly continued eating as though nothing of partic-
ular
consequence had happened, and by the time I was
through
everyone was awake. Fearless leader and Dranna
were
the last to come out of it, and they'd had most of
their
meat before they'd slept. They each had a little
something
to add to it, Dranna smiling vaguely at Rik
before
taking hers over to Su before eating it, and then we
were
ready to go. Even the horses were well-rested and
dancing
in their eagerness to go on, but no one seemed to
notice
that they and we were no longer exhausted. They
were
apparently assuming the naps had done the trick, and
I was
just as pleased; me last thing 1 was in the mood to
give
was another lecture on ma^ic.
InThig
was back with us again as soon as we started off.
talking
to its good friend Rik about what was ahead of us,
but it
needn't have bothered. What was ahead of us was
more
attacks, which would have been boring and repeti-
tious
if they hadn't been trying so hard for our blood.
Through
it all we just kept going, and finally proved that
perseverance
pays; after a little more than two hours, Su
raised
her dripping sword and pointed to the left.
"Trail
goes behind those trees," she panted, looking
around
to make sure there weren't any more poison-birds
diving
at us. "Can't see it coming out again anywhere, so
maybe
the gate's there."
"It
damned well better be," Rik said, but with more
hope
than the words would indicate. "If we have to go on
until
sundown on this world—" The sentence broke off as
his jaw
tightened, but he didn't have to finish it No one
had
been hurt in the last couple of skirmishes, but it had
SHARON
GREEN
200
been a
near thing. "Let's take a look before the next wave
hits."
Our
horses moved carefully through the bodies of the
poison-birds
on the ground all around us, some of them
seared
rather than slashed, and then we were able to pick
up a
little speed. The stand of trees wasn't very far away,
and
once we got a bit closer I was able to See a glowing
slit
just beyond them.
"It's
there," I told the others, feeling their immediate
excitement
and relief, emotions I shared completely. "Now
we can
get out of here."
"Don't
anyone get sloppy!" Rikkan Addis growled,
taking
a brief moment out from searching all around to
glance at
us. "If there's anything set to guard this gate, we
won't
be able to scare it—"
"Behind
you!" InThig shouted from up ahead, coming
back
again to rejoin us- "Run for the gate!"
We
glanced back to see the twisted, lumbering shapes
shuffling
after us, grotesque horrors that didn't appear fast
or
agile—only unstoppable. Some of them had picked up
poison-bird
bodies and were chewing them up in their
maws,
getting a good deal of pleasure from the snack,
which
told us more about them than we wanted to know.
Running
did seem the smartest way to go, and we weren't
slow
getting on with it.
We
thundered up to the gate and slid to a stop, half-fell
from
our saddles and, hearts pounding, quickly formed our
chain.
Zai! raced two horses through, then Dranna, then
Rik
with the last of them, all of us giving fervent thanks
that
we'd done it often enough before mat hurrying was
possible.
Kadi-tin's hand in mine was completely steady,
but I
was sure he was very glad that InThig was there
beside
him. As soon as the last of the horses was cleared
out of
the way he jumped through, and then we were all on
the
other side of the gate.
"Made
it!" Zail crowed with a laugh, clapping Kadrim
on the
shoulder in true relief and delight. "They almost
had us,
but we made it. Where's InThig?"
"I'm
sure it can take care of itself," Rik said, but mere
was a
frown on his face as he stared at the gate behind me.
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
201
"It
may have gotten delayed, but it'll be through in a
minute."
There
was a general murmur of agreement from the
others,
more a matter of trying for confidence than making
it, and
all of them were now staring behind me. 1 took two
more
deep breaths to get back what strength I could from
the
transfer, then I straightened up.
"If
it's not through by now, it needs help," I said, tired
of the
way fearless leader always tried to gloss things over.
"I'm
going back to give that help."
"You
can't." Rik said at once, the look sharpening in
his
eyes as he grabbed my arm to keep me from turning.
"If
InThig is having a problem, all you'll succeed in doing
is
getting yourself killed. I'll go."
"And
Just how do you intend doing that?" 1 asked in
annoyance,
pulling my arm out of his grip- "You can't
even
See a gate, let alone use one. And what do you think
you'd
accomplish? Even if you could stop me?"
His
expression darkened as it usually did when we
exchanged
words, a perfect match to the dark, dismal
countryside
I barely noticed all around us. There was
nothing
he could say in answer to my questions, something
that
really seemed to get to h»m, but I had other concerns
just
then above his ruffled indignation. I gave him a last
look of
disgust, then turned again to face the gate.
"Wait,"
his voice came again, accompanied by his big
hand on
my shoulder. "You're not going aione. Either I
go with
you, or I will do my damnedest to stop you."
"And
what about the rest of us?" Zail put in, sounding
the
least bit outraged- "InThig has saved our necks often
enough;
don't you think that entitles us to do the same for
him?"
"It,"
I corrected automatically, helpless to keep from
putting
my hand to my mouth as I stared at the piace we
had
come through from the last world. It was a lot colder
and
damper in that new world, but that wasn't the reason 1
began
trembling.
"What's
wrong with you, girl?" Rikkan Addis asked
with a
frown in his voice, his hand on my shoulder un-
doubtedly
giving him more of a message than the others
were
getting. "Why are you looking around like that?"
202
SHARON GREEN
I
didn't answer him at once, most especially as he was
wrong;
I wasn't looking around, but he wasn't equipped to
know
the difference. I felt numb inside, not to mention
cold
and frightened, but it all made a horrible kind of
sense.
"So
that's why we were under almost constant attack on
that
world," I said, still looking everywhere but at the
people
behind me. "And why those things showed up just
when
they did, close but not too close. They weren't
meant
to make us fight, just to make us hurry."
"What
are you talking about?" Rikkan Addis asked
with
surprising gentleness, turning me around to face the
worry
in his eyes in the same way. "Something's hap-
pened,
I can see that just from looking at you. Tell me
what's
wrong."
"The
last attack on that other world," I repeated as
patiently
as I could, feeling very distant but wanting him
to
know. "We weren't being attacked; we were being
herded,
straight to the gate and through it as fast as
possible.
The enemy didn't want to kill us, he wanted us
to come
through here, to this world."
"But
why should he want that?" was me next question,
as
patient as my explanation had been. "The trail of the
balance
stone leads here; why would he want us following
it?"
"Because
this world is special," I said, for some reason
fascinated
by his bronze eyes. 'I've never been to a world
like
this before, and I can understand why. This world
doesn't
allow magic."
"Are
you sure?" he asked as the others all made sounds
or
exclamations of shock, his hands tightening just a little
on my
arms. "Are you positive mere's nothing you can do
in the
way of magic? That will mean we've got nothing
but
swords to defend ourselves with, and no way to pre-
tend
we're natives."
"And
no way to get food or shelter," Zail put in,
sounding
worried. "And what happens if we run into more
patrols?"
"Don't
any of you understand?" I demanded, interrupt-
ing
comments and worries alike, finally looking around at
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
203
them.
"On this world I can't See, I'm as blind as the rest
of you.
Don't you know what that means?"
They
stared at me in silence, their expressions of blank-
ness
completely eloquent, and 1 hardly noticed it when
Rikkan
Addis took his hands from my arms. They didn't
understand,
and suddenly I was very reluctant to tell them.
"I
can't See." I repeated in a mutter, putting one hand
to my
eyes as I forced myself to say it. "That gate we just
came
through—when 1 looked for it, it wasn't there any
longer—
If you can't See a gate, you can't use it— Damn
it all,
we're trapped on this world for good!"
CHAPTER
7
The
silence stretched on and on, a numb, shocked silence
that I
understood perfectly. I stood there in the chill with
one
hand over my eyes, feeling no desire to do anything
else,
feeling like the absolute and complete failure that I
was. If
I hadn't let myself be rushed like that, if I had been
a
little more careful before stepping blithely through a
one-way
gate— And InThig. InThig would have expected
me to
come back, to help— But 1 couldn't go back, I no
longer
had the ability to do it, and somehow I knew I'd
never
see the demon again.
"Now
what do we do?" Dranna asked, her voice as
lifeless
as my own spirit felt. "Choose a piece of land and
start
fanning it? Find a city and beg on the streets until we
have
enough money to open a shop? I've never been
stranded
in a strange world before; is there some sort of
protocol
to be followed?"
"The
first thing we do is stay calm," Rikkan Addis
answered
her, but obviously speaking to everyone else as
well.
"If we panic or start running around screaming and
shouting,
we never will get out of this. To begin with,
we'll
have to find out where we are, what sort of people
live on
this world, and whether or not the whole thing is
the way
this part is. Maybe there's a part of it where
Laciel
won't be blind."
"Don't
know about that, but I do have a question," Su
said,
and then her arm was around my shoulders. "Laciel,
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
205 i
why
would it be that you can't do magic—but I can still
see the
trail?"
Everyone
started talking at once at that, desperately
grasping
at the straw Su was holding out, but it wasn't a
real
loophole that she'd found. I sighed and took my hand
away
from my eyes, then sadly shook my head.
"Su,
you're forgetting there's a difference between hav-
ing a
magical ability and having the ability to do magic," I
said,
looking up at her still-calm face. "There are some
magical
abilities, like luck, and a talent for fixing things
and—yes,
trail-finding—that seem to work anywhere, on
every
world there is, under all conceivable circumstances-
Having
the Sight isn't the same, because there are some
worlds
where having it doesn't mean you can use it. It has
something
to do with the foundations of a particular world,
what
its primal building blocks were, that sort of thing. If
there's
no magic in a world's roots, magic can't be done
there even
if its natives know about the ability."
"That
may be so, but now we don't have to wonder
what to
do next," Rikkan Addis jumped in, briskly over-
riding
everyone's disappointment. "We follow Su while
she
follows the trail, and wait until it runs out before
racking
our brains for what to do after that. If we get very
lucky,
something might come *up before that. Let's get
mounted
and use what's left of the daylight.''
His
Persuasion-backed enthusiasm spilled over onto ev-
eryone,
another proof of what I'd said about abilities, but
if Su
hadn't insisted, I wouldn't have gone along with it.
Even if
there had still been some point to the expedition,
there
wouldn't have been one in my tagging along, but Su
refused
to let me stay behind, basking in the glory I'd
earned.
She made me mount up along with everyone else,
then
began following the trail she was still able to see-
There
wasn't altthat much left to the day around us, and
what
there was seemed well suited to the landscape. We
were in
the middle of scrubby, unenthusiastic woods, thin,
frail-looking
trees, tired bushes, short, patchy grass. The
browns
and greens appeared washed-out and dingier than
they
should have been, the muddiness of them compounded
by the
heavy clouds not far above the tree-tops. There
probably
wasn't even as much as an hour left until dark,
206
SHARON GREEN
and the
temperature was chilly on the way to being cold,
Under
other circumstances we would have made camp—but
under
those circumstances we had nothing to make camp
with.
A few
short minutes of riding brought us to a road, or
what
seemed to be used as a road by the natives. It was
narrow
and rutted and completely uncared for, a back-
woods
track that probably turned to mud with every mod-
erately
heavy rain. Our horses snorted and slowed once
they
were on it, distrusting the uneven footing, and it
wasn't
long before we separated to ride to either side of
the
thing. There was no sense in risking losing one or
more of
our mounts, even if we were going nowhere but to
a dead
end.
The
scrub woods changed to dark, desolate countryside,
with
nothing to be seen in the way of human habitation. 1
was
certain the world was inhabited by humans, but as
time
passed the conviction grew more and more uncertain.
Everything
seemed to be more mute than silent, more
oppressed
than quiet, more tremblingly frightened than
noiseless,
more in hiding than simply out of sight. I didn't
like
the feel of that world, the lack of both friendliness and
hostility,
and after a while it came to me that I wasn't the
only
one to react that way. Not a single word was being
exchanged
among the others, and we seemed to be taking
turns
looking behind us.
We kept
going even after full dark had fallen; none of us
or the
mounts were particularly tired, and there wasn't
much
risk to losing our way. Su didn't need tight to see
the
trail, and the ground next to the road continued to be
consistent
and even. I didn't know what fearless leader
expected
to find at me end of the trail other than the end of
his
bright hopes along with it, but he seemed to be deter-
mined
to get there. I was too depressed to care if we made
it or
not, and the only bright spot I could find in what had
happened
was the fact that I'd never have to face Graythor
and
tell him I'd failed. I'd never sec Graythor again, or alt
the
people who were going to die because of that failure,
but
that didn't mean they wouldn't walk my dreams for as
long as
I lived.
"There!"
Kadrim said suddenly from his place in front
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
207
of me,
drawing everyone's attention. "] had thought at
first I
was mistaken, yet now— There are campfires."
"Half
a dozen at least, and no one making an effort to
conceal
their existence," Rik agreed, his voice out of the
dark
behind Dranna calm and thoughtful. "Kadrim, you
and Su
stay with the girls. Zail and I will take a closer,
private
look before we ride in and introduce ourselves."
We had
ail come to a halt by then, and the fires they had
been
discussing were clearly visible to the right of the
road,
in what seemed to be a partially sheltered comer of
the
landscape. The campsite wasn't ail that easily seen
from
the direction in which we'd come, but it had to be
clearly
apparent to anyone riding in the opposite direction.
"What's
the sense in creeping around?" I asked, dislik-
ing
being included in as one of "the girls." "Why can't
we all
go together? We'll have to deal with these people at
some
time or other, so why not now?"
"Best
we leam first what it is we shall be dealing
with,"
Kadrim answered very softly, his shadow-form
looking
ahead rather than turning back to me. "Hush now,
girl,
for your words may well carry—and our companions
have
already gone."
I
turned back to see where" Rik and Zail had been riding,
only to
find their empty-saddlefl horses. Dranna had also
turned
to look, and when she saw that the two men were
no
longer behind us, she shivered somewhat and quickly
faced
forward again. Neither one of us had heard them
leave,
and that annoyed me; Kadrim had known they were
gone
from a good deal farther away, but Dranna and I had
had to
be told about it.
The
horses had time to do a little snacking from the
roadside
vegetation before our intrepid scouts got back, no
more
than shifting shadows announcing their return. They
mounted
up again with a creak of leather, gathered up their
reins,
then Rik's outline looked around at us from his
place
behind Dranna.
"There
are eight campfires, one for each of the families
camped
over there," he reported, his words soft but still
carrying
to all of us. "Men, women and children, no
weapons
visible, no horses but what looks like a small,
common
herd of goat-like animals. They don't seem to
208
SHARON GREEN
have
much in the way of possessions, and they're defi-
nitely
camped rather than living in the area. They also
have a
few small wagons with wooden traces and cross-
bars,
which means they pull the things themselves. There
are
also no guardposts set up, nothing but a few of the
older
boys keeping an eye on the goats. The only thing I
don't
like about the look of them is how quiet they all are.
even
the children. Some of the men exchanged a few
words,
and once one of the women spoke to two of the
children,
but that was about it. It didn't feet natural."
"They
seemed to be afraid but not afraid," Zail put in,
a
groping in his tone. "They're not hiding, so they're
probably
not afraid of being discovered, but there's still a
tension
of some sort in them. It's their attitude—i don't
know
how to describe it."
"You'll
all have a chance to see it for yourselves."
Rikkan
Addis said, tacitly agreeing with Zail. "We're
going
to pay their camp a visit, and find out what there is
in the
way of problems around here. I'm going to tell them
we're
from a very distant country, and don't know this
part of
the world at all. I want all of you to smile and be as
friendly
as possible—but don't move far from your horses,
and let
me do the talking. Let's go."
The
plan sounded flimsy and inadequate, but there wasn't
much of
a chance to object to it even if I'd wanted to.
Fearless
leader moved out of line and rode ahead, and then
all of
us were following him toward the campfires and the
people
who had kindled them.
We were
moving at little more than a walk when we
entered
the large, communal camp, and every eye of every
person
there seemed to be on us. Counting men, women
and
children there must have been seventy people or more,
and
every one of them stood and stared at us in silence.
They
were a small people, short and slim and somehow
undernourished,
even though they appeared to be fairly
welt
fed. They all had brown hair and large brown eyes,
doe-eyes
set in human faces, thin brown cloth covering'
their
slender bodies, nothing in the way of shoes even on
the
adults. Just as Zail had said, there was something
about
the way they stood and stared at us, a bone-deep
fright
beneath their silence and immobility, a desire to run
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 209
even
though they didn't dare. The chill night-wind ruffling
their
clothing and hair didn't seem to bother them, not
nearly
as much as the sudden appearance of guests. When
we came
to a full stop there was a moment of hesitation.
and
then one of the men came forward to stand alone.
"Good
evening to you, friend," Rikkan Addis said with
a smile
as he looked down at him, deliberate warmth in his
tone.
"Can you tell me what country we now ride in? We
come
from very far away, you see, and have never ridden
these
lands before."
"There
is no more than one country, lord," the man
answered
with what seemed like confusion, his accent so
thick
that it was difficult to follow. "The land is Filim, all
of it,
as far as a man can travel in a lifetime, in every
direction
there is. There is no place that is not Filim, for
all of
creation belongs to the god-king Thannar, blessed be
his
name."
"Blessed
be his name," echoed softly from everyone
else,
an immediate chorus that was like a sigh of the wind.
Dranna
shivered at the sound of that chorus, beating the
rest of
us to it if everyone's expression meant they felt the
way I
did. Those people had said what they had automati-
cally,
without thinking about it,''and there was something
horrible
in that sort of thing.
'
"The god-king Thannar,'' Rik repeated, nodding thought-
fully
as he abandoned his intended hne of attack. "And all
of you
are, of course, completely loyal to him. Tell me
what
you're doing out here, in the middle of nowhere."
The
last sentence, I thought, had a lot of Persuasion
riding
along with it, and the small man proved it by
responding
at once.
"We
have been sent from the city of Lar to the city of
Nor,"
he said, still looking only at Rik. "Nor is the
blessed
city where our god-king keeps his court, and field
workers
and servants are always in short supply. Many of
them
get used up by the Sacred Guard, usually in their
frolics,
and have to be replaced by those from other dis-
tricts
and cities. It is the greatest of honors to be sent to
Nor,
and our families will be blessed even unto the final
generation."
"1
see," Rik said, surely not missing the rote sound to
210
SHARON GREEN
what
the man had said, his own face now expression less -
"You've
been sent from Lar to Nor, so you're going. And
you
certainly won't turn off somewhere, to lose yourselves
in the
wilderness and begin farms of your own, will you?"
"Such
a thing is absolutely forbidden," the small man
answered,
his face paling and his voice beginning to qui-
ver.
"Those who are damned and forever tost may attempt
such a
thing, but never for long. Everyone is registered in
the
city of their birth, everyone, and if they cannot be
accounted
for, the Sacred Guard begins to search for them,
with
trackers and snifters. No one has ever been left
unround,
and when they are returned to civilization, they
are
taken to the Heavenly Court. Death by torture is
preferable
to being taken to the Heavenly Court."
The last
words were muttered as the man looked down to
the
ground, and still none of the others standing around
said
anything. 1 didn't know who they thought Rikkan
Addis
was, but I had the feeling they would have answered
his
questions even if he hadn't used Persuasion. They had
clearly
been trained to respond to authority in whatever
way
authority demanded, and anyone who asked questions
was
obviously in authority.
"And
how far away from here is the city of Nor?" Rik
asked,
his voice not far from a growl of rage. His right
hand
had turned to a fist where it rested on his thigh, as
though
he fought to keep it from closing on his sword hilt.
"Tomorrow
morning will find us there," the man an-
swered,
raising his targe, innocent eyes again. "You, on
your
horses, will be there much sooner. They will cer-
tainly
be pleased to see you and the gift you bring."
"Gift?"
Rik echoed, this time being the one who was
confused.
"What gift are you talking about?"
"Why,
the gift you bring our god-king, of course," the
man
said, trying not to appear as though he were stepping
out of
his place. "Everyone was told about it, and we
knew
you were the ones as soon as you rode in. • You
would
say odd things and pretend to be strangers, we were
told,
but of course you wouldn't be. And those who report
first
sight of you to the Sacred Guard, even after you've
reached
Nor, are exempt from being chosen for the frolics
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 211
for a
full three months. We thank you for the opportunity,
lord."
Rik'sjaw
tightened as the man and his people all bowed
to him,
and he glanced at the rest of us with fury glowing
in his
bronze eyes. Simply trapping us on that world
hadn't
been enough for the enemy; he'd also arranged it so
that
everyone would be on the lookout for us, and we'd
ridden
into that camp as blind and unsuspecting as bunnies
hopping
into a trap.
"Nice
going, fearless leader," I commented, knowing it
no
longer mattered who said what. "I realty have to hand
it to
you. I never expected anyone to be able to top my
idiocy,
but it looks like you've gone and done it."
"You
were told to keep quiet." our glorious leader
growled,
the look in those eyes focusing this time on me.
"See
if you can find enough intelligence in that empty
blond
head to understand simple instructions. It'll be hard
for
you, I know, but do your best."
Why,
the absolute nerve of that imbecile! I gasped at
what
he'd said and opened my mouth to blast him back,
but
Kadrim's hand closed tight around my arm, distracting
me and
giving the imbecile enough time to turn back to the
native. ••
"You
mentioned the gift we're -bringing to the god-
king,"
he said to the small man who was beginning to
look
uncertain again. "You've answered all my questions
correctly
so far, and this will be the last. What gift do we
bring?"
"Why,
you bring the gift fit only for Thannar, blessed
be his
name," the man responded, smiling tremulously
while
the people behind him briefly became a chorus
again.
"The gift is one sent to him by a brother god in
another
creation, and he anticipates it with great impa-
tience.
Our god-king is said to have a thousand females
who
serve his godhood, but none like the gift sent to him
by his
brother. She will shine forever as his prized posses-
sion,
the female with hair tike clouds on a sun-bright day.
She
will be his and his alone forevermore."
The
man's eyes no longer looked at Rik or the ground,
and !
just sat there with lips parted, saying nothing. It was
me the
man was looking at, just the way the rest of his
212
SHARON GREEN
people
were, and for an instant I was shocked speechless.
Then
the instant passed and 1 was cursing under my breath,
saying
aloud every one of the words Morgiana disliked so
much. I
realized my voice must be rising in volume when
Kadrim's
hand closed around my arm again, but I didn't
give a
damn. I was mad enough to chew nails, and iron
ones at
that!
"I
think we'll be leaving now," Rik said to the small
man,
interrupting me just as I was really warming to
my
subject. "We'll be going on to Nor, of course, and
thank
you for the time and courtesy you've given us. We
wish
you a pleasant night."
The
small man bowed as he backed away, giving us
room to
turn our horses, and he and his people raised their
hands
as we rode out of the camp. I was so furious 1
hardly
knew what I was doing, and didn't realize that
Kadrim
had taken the rein of my gray until we stopped in
the
dark, far enough away from that camp that the people
in it
would have no idea that we had. I was back to
muttering
under my breath, and would have ridden on if I
hadn't
been stopped.
"I
think it's safe to say we now have a more urgent and
pressing
problem than what to do at the next gate," Rikkan
Addis
said at once, faint disgust in his voice. "Apparently
everyone
in this area has been told about us, which means
it's a
damned good thing we stopped at that camp. The
city of
Nor is just ahead of us, and if we'd ridden in there
instead,
we'd never have ridden out again. We're going to
have to
stay completely out of sight, which might not be
easy in
a theocracy as restrictive as this one."
"Don't
know why they were all looking at Laciel like
that,"
Su put in, her shadow form facing Rik. "Couldn't
follow
much of what they were saying, their talk was so
strange.
Sounded like they were saying something about a
gift."
"If
I ever get off this world, I'm going to find the one
responsible
for this and turn him inside out!" 1 swore,
feeling
as though I were ready to foam at the mouth. "The
absolute
gall of that creep, promising me as a gift to some
barbaric,
backwoods medicine man! I'll take him apart
with my
bare hands, I'll break every bone in his body, I'll—"
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 213
"Okay,
enough," fearless leader interrupted, unbeliev-
ably
sounding annoyed. "I can see you're in no condition
to
discuss things rationally, but we can't afford to coddle
anyone
any more. The best thing that happened back there
was
when we were told about this gift business, because
that
means the enemy is still worried about us and specific-
ally
trying to neutralize you. If we were permanently
trapped
on this world, that wouldn't be necessary, now
would
it? It means there's a way off this world, and that
way
involves magic. All we have to do is get to the gate,
and
then find that way."
"Indeed,"
Kadrim said from my right with enthusiasm,
his
sudden fire reflected by the others, even in the dark.
"It
must surely be as you say, for there would be sense in
little
else. We were meant to believe ourselves trapped
here,
yet were precautionary measures taken should we fail
to
cling to that belief, it will now be necessary to guard
Laciel
even more closely than before.'*
"Laciel
can take care of herself!" I snapped, in no
mood to
hear nonsense like that. "And you people are
overlooking
something. Anyone sadistic enough to kill a
world
full of people, just to get back at one man, isn't
likely
to make things easy fop his enemies even when
they're
hoplessly trapped. I was nasty enough to ruin his
efforts
to stop us for a while, so what better way to say
thank
you than to make me a present for an absolute
dictator?
It does not necessarily mean there's a hidden way
off
this world, or that we'll find it even if there is one.
Depending
on a hope tike that could make your ultimate
disappointment
unspeakably horrible."
None of
them had an immediate answer to that, and it
wasn't
so absolutely pitch dark that I couldn't see all their
faces
turned toward me. For a moment there was nothing
but the
sound of the wind and a creak of leather as one or
two of
the horses shifted in place, and then Rikkan Addis
sighed.
"I
have the feeling you've been disappointed in quite a
few
hopes in your life," he said, speaking to me but
somehow
also addressing the others. "That son of experi-
ence
tends to turn people cynical and unwilling to extend
their
trust, but the hope of getting out of here can't hurt us.
214
SHARON
GREEN
not now
while there's still a chance of it. If the time ever
comes
when that chance is completely dead, that's when
we can
talk about giving up; right now we have too many
other
things to do. We'll keep moving as long as we can,
stop
for a rest when we have to, then go on again. Our
first
order of business is getting to that gate."
The
others all drew themselves up in silent agreement,
then
followed along with heavy determination when Su led
off,
finding warm hope much more appealing than cold
reality.
I let my gray move along with the other horses
without
adding anything, not blaming anyone for choosing
the
warm over the cold, but finding it impossible to share
their
hope. I'd do everything I could to make that hope
into a
reality, but when the time came that it died com-
pletely,
I was not going to be one of the mourners at its
funeral.
We
moved on again into the chill of the night, staying
close
enough to the road for Su to see the trail, but this
time
not riding immediately beside it as we had earlier.
Not
knowing exactly how far ahead of us the city of Nor
was—or
what kind of patrols they sent out—meant it
would
have been silly to take chances, so we didn't. It
might
have helped if there had been cover of some sort to
ride
through, but even the thin, scraggly woods we'd
found
when first coming through to that world didn't
repeat
itself.
Not
long after we started a second road came from the
left to
join the one we were following, and after that the
thing
was wider if not in any better shape. We also became
aware
of the fact that the land stretching out around us
seemed
more regular than simply even, farmland rather
than
grassland. We all peered through me dark. trying to
make
out houses or barns or something, and because of
that
almost missed it when Su angled away from the road
and
even farther right than we were riding. She moved out
a bit
ahead of us, stopped her horse and stood up in her
stirrups,
then turned to look around at us when we pulled
up beside
her.
"The
trail took a real sharp turn this way, and I can't
see it
going back again," she told us, a faint excitement
under
her ever-present calm. "Don't remember it ever
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
215
doing
something like that before, except when it was near
a gate.
Can't see it stopping any time soon, though, so
maybe
this is different. You want to scout ahead?"
"No,"
Rikkan Addis answered, knowing she was talk-
ing to
him. "If we find we are approaching the gate I can
always
change my mind, but for now we'll continue to
stay
together."
Su
nodded and led off again, and in a short while we
discovered
we were riding between two cultivated fields.
There
were still no farmhouses that we could see, but
something
barnlike loomed large and dark far to our left.
The
trail went between the fields and then angled to the
left
again once we were beyond them, and the excitement
of Su's
discovery died of old age. If the turn had meant we
were
near the gate, we would have found it as quickly as
we had
the previous ones.
Time
has a way of stretching on and on under circum-
stances
like that, making you believe you've been riding
all
night instead of for less than half of it- I didn't know
about
the others but I was tired and cold, and once,
without
thinking, I spoke a spell that should have created a
warm
jacket for me to put on. When nothing happened 1
told
myself it had been a necessary experiment, making
certain
that I wasn't simply blind on that world but really
incapable
of doing magic, men tried to forget about it.
After
trying for several minutes I discovered I was too cold
to
forget, but that cold did nothing to stop the brooding.
It
wasn't possible for any of us to have anything like
real,
true appetites, or I should say it wasn't possible for
those
of us who were civilized, sensitive individuals. Some
people
make a career out of thinking about their stomachs,
and
often insist on everyone else joining them just so
they'll
have the company. At one point Rikkan Addis
spoke
quietly to Su, left his place beside Dranna to drop
back
next to Kadrim and give the big redhead his reins,
^ then slipped out of his saddle. The dark
swallowed him up
almost
instantly, but we didn't stop and wait for him. We
just
kept going as if he'd simply stepped out of a room we
were
all sitting in, and would be back in a minute or two
-Jy to rejoin the conversation. Since no one
else was taking
notice
I didn't either, but I couldn't help wondering if we
216
SJ1ARON GREEN
were
rid of him for good—and if we were, why he had
chosen
such a strange time and way to leave.
It
turned out, of course, that he'd left us only long
enough
to go hunting, using what was probably the only
way of
doing that in the dark. About twenty minutes later
we
caught sight of a darker shadow ahead of us, which
turned
out to be fearless leader with a pile of dead rabbits
at his
feet- He might not have been able to catch rabbits,in
the
dark, but his link-shape certainly didn't have the same
limitations.
With supper in the offing it was time for a rest
stop,
and even if we didn't need it, the horses did.
It
didn't take long before we were divided into two
groups,
those of us who had been raised to the outdoors
and
therefore knew what they were doing, and those of us
who
were city-bred and therefore capable of no more than
standing
and watching. If it had been necessary to feed our
group
amid the stone and brick and wood of a cold,
soulless
city with all provisions locked away behind heavy
doors,
Zail, Dranna and I would have had very little
trouble
doing it. Out there in the wild, though, where food
still
moved around under its own power, the provisioning
and
preparation of it became the job of the other three.
Three
shielded fires were quickly built, the" rabbits were
skinned
and put on improvised spits, and before long the
smell
of cooking meal was being tossed around by the
wind.
Dranna and 1 joined Su at her fire while Zail divided
his
time and comments between Rik and Kadrim, and the
best
thing to be said about the time was that the fires at
least
made the stop worthwhile-
When
the food was ready we ate it, and it turned out to
be a
good deal better than half of us had expected it to be.
It
wasn't the sort of meal you'd ask your cook to prepare
for you
on a regular basis, but it brought a little warmth
back to
our bodies, and there was even enough left over to
be put
in our saddlebags for the next meal. It bothered
Dranna
and, to a lesser extent Zail, that it wasn't wrapped
in any
way, but I wouldn't have thought about it if those
two
hadn't mentioned it. My years with Morgiana had
dimmed
the past to a certain extent, but nothing would
ever
erase it completely -
Once
the fires were out we were on our way again, and
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 217
in a
couple of hours were able to see why the trail kept
curving
right, away from the road we'd been on originally.
The
land to our left had all been cultivated, but slowly the
fields
gave way to dark shapes and shadows that rose
higher
in the distance, smaller dwellings thai stood not far
from a
city. There was light in that city in a number of
places,
but we were too far away to use that light to see
anything-
We
needed most of the rest of that night to circle the
city,
something that following the trail of the stone let-us
do
without much difficulty. The city seemed to be large
and
sprawling and entirely unwalled, which said some-
thing
about the attitudes of its inhabitants. If there had
been any
chance of revolution or other danger to their
upper-class
necks, they would certainly be living behind
high
walls of stone. The absence of a wallineant most if
not all
of the people of that area thought the same as the
people
we'd talked to, an idea that was extremely depress-
ing. A
world like that would be horrible for anyone to live
in, but
for us it would be ten times worse.
And
then it came to me to wonder why, if the enemy
was on
such cozy terms with the god-king, the trail ran at
a safe distance
around the city, but ! didn't ask it aloud.
One
possible answer was that the'balance stone had been
taken
through that world and off it before any contact with
the
god-king was made, but an answer like that would
support
Rik's theory that there realty was a way out that
only
had to be found. There was a way out, the mere fact
that
the enemy was no longer there proved that, but it
wasn't
proof of our own ability to use it. If someone had
opened
the gate from the other side, the enemy would have
been
able to use it; there was nothing to say that opening it
from
this side was possible, and unlike Rik, I didn't
believe
in giving people false hope.
By the
time the sun came up we were on the opposite
side of
the city with more cultivated fields between it and
us, not
to mention the pasturage to be seen on the far side
of the
road. The light also showed us the large bams
standing
one to each two sections of land, brown and gray
structures
meant only for the use of the land or the ani-
mals,
not in any manner for the use of people. The work-
218
SHARON
GREEN
ers
undoubtedly had to walk out to the fields every morning
and
back to the city every night, which was not very
pleasant
for the workers but perfect for keeping constant
track
of them. To let them sleep closer to where they
worked
would have taken them out of reach and out from
under
constant surveillance, and when you don't watch
people
constantly they sometimes develop strange ideas. I
rode
along hugging myself around against the chill that
had
long since crept inside me, almost to the point of
wishing
we would find it impossible to leave that world. If
we
stayed we might not live very long, but while we did
the
rulers of that place would know we were there.
"Rik,
I'm going to have to rest soon," Dranna's voice
came
suddenly, loud in the silence it had broken, but
otherwise
low and nearly strengthless. I looked over to see
that
the small woman beside me was trembling from cold
and
fatigue, her face pale and her hands visibly unsteady. I
wasn't
doing all that well myself after riding all night, but
Dranna
seemed close to dropping from exhaustion.
"Just
hang on until we get to those woods up ahead,"
fearless
leader told her, dropping back from Su's side to
ride
between the small woman and myself. "We all need
to rest
a while, but there's no cover here to do it. People
will be
coming out to work those fields, and you know that
if they
see us they'll report us. Just a few minutes more of
riding,
and then you'll be able to rest.'*
He
reached over to put his hand on one of hers with a
smile,
a comforting gesture 1 was sure she appreciated,
considenng
the way she felt about him. Her answering
smile
was weak because of her weariness, but she still
found
it possible to straighten in the saddle and draw her
hand
away from his, probably to show the man that he
didn't
have to worry about her. I hadn't thought Dranna
the
sort of woman who would do that kind of chin-up
thing,
but apparently I'd been mistaken.
It
seemed to take forever before we reached the stand of
trees,
and then we had to get deep enough into it that the
horses
would be hidden from view. When we finally found
an area
with enough bushes for cover, 1 half expected it to
disappear
in a puff of smoke as soon as we dismounted,
proving
it was nothing but imagination or illusion. We all
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 219
made it
down to the ground, though, and the bushes were
still
there, but fearless leader looked arounc' at them as if
he knew
they were thinking about disappearing.
"This
is closer to the road than I like being, but I
suppose
we have no choice," he said, running one hand
through
his hair. "We have to rest, and we have to hide
the
horses white we do it. Kadnm, you take first watch,
then
wake me for the second. I'll wake you, Zail, and if
we need
a fourth watch, Su will take it. 1 hate leaving the
horses
saddled, but that's something else we have no
choice
about. We might need to move out of here in a
hurry."
"Wouldn't
worry too much about being close to me
road,"
Su told him. stretching wide and hard. "The trail
brought
us this way, like it means to go back and join the
road
again. Better if we don't get too far from the trail."
"I
think I'll have to agree with that," Rik told her, but
not
very enthusiastically. "If we lose the trail we have
trouble,
probably more than anything the road will bring,
but
that doesn't mean we can forget about everything else.
Whoever
happens to be on watch had better move around
during
his or her time, just to make sure they don't fall
asleep.
Okay, Kadrim, it's all yours now."
"And
if it becomes necessary, I'll take the watch after
Su's,"
I put in just as everyone began moving in different
directions,
looking for their own piece of ground. "Don't
forget
to wake me, Su."
With
everyone stopped it was my turn to move away,
fairly
well satisfied with my announcement and the way
I'd
made it. Fearless leader had deliberately left me out of
his
arrangements for guard watch, but I'd just as deliber-
ately
put myself back in them. The only other one who
hadn't
been included was Dranna, but considenng the fact
that
she was already asleep on the ground, she didn't
count.
I hadn't been asked if I wanted to be left out, so /
hadn't
asked before inviting myself back in.
"If
a watch after Su's becomes necessary, Kadrim will
take
it," I heard behind me, an acknowledgment of what
I'd
said I hadn't been expecting. "How many watches we
stand
will depend on how long each watcher can stay
awake
alone, and just how much sleep we need before we
220
SHARON GREEN
can
move on again. It also doesn't make much sense
having
someone stand guard who's unarmed. If we're
attacked,
we need someone to fight back who's wide
awake,
giving the sleepers a chance to drag themselves out
of the
fog. Simply yelling for help doesn't serve the same
purpose."
I
turned back at once intending to argue what he'd said,
but
this time I was the only one, aside from Kadrim.iwho
was
still standing. The others were down on the grass and
stretching
out wearily, already ignoring a subject which
had
been closed. The redheaded boy-man looked at me
with
sympathy, but the look also showed complete agree-
ment
with what had been decided. I was unarmed and
without
magic, a total noncombatant, someone who needed
to be
protected rather than someone who could help pro-
tect
everyone else. I hated being treated like that, hated the
very
thought of it, but no matter how much I wanted to, I
couldn't
force them to risk their lives to prove it wrong.
Three
more steps brought me to the piece of ground I'd
chosen,
and when I'd lain down I moved my gaze to the
trunk
of a nearby tree. I stared at it and stared at it for a
least a
minute, but at the end of that time 1 was still able to
see
nothing more than peeling brown bark. I hadn't known
how
flat and shallow the world was without the Sight, how
vague
and uninteresting everything would look. It was like
being
locked in a small cage lined with thick cotton pad-
ding,
enough to keep you from reaching any part of the
real
world, not enough to become something that could be
fought
against. It was stifling and horribly confining, but it
didn't
mean 1 was entirely useless and helpless. I may
have
been without magic but I wasn't helpless, and as
soon as
the opportunity arose, I would prove that to all of
them.
I
didn't realize I'd fallen asleep until I woke again,
curled
up on my right side with my face on my arm.'I was
warmer
than I'd been during the night but not that much
warmer,
which had led me to believe at first that I was
waking
up in some abandoned warehouse, the rest of the
pack
not far from me. Instead it was the group who
weren't
far from me, and not all of them were awake.
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 221
I
stretched the painful stiffness out of my arm as I sat
up,
then went to work on the matching stiffness in my
neck.
It was hard teliing how long I'd slept, but the middle
of the
day seemed already to have passed, something the
sky
above the trees refused to confirm. The clouds of the
day
before were back again, and although they were fairly
high up
they didn't seem close to breaking up and blowing
away.
Their almost constant presence made that world
seem
even flatter and duller than losing the Sight would
account
for, and 1 was getting very tired of looking at it.
"Come
and have something to eat with us," Zail said in
a very
low voice as he crouched next to me, his sympa-
thetic
gray eyes showing that he'd also had to go through
destiffening
when he'd awakened. "We'll be waking Dranna
and Su
in a little while, and then we'll be moving on."
If he'd
been inviting me to socialize I would have
refused,
but with two people still sleeping there would be
"nothing
in the way of chitchat to ignore, and the idea of
food
sounded good. I moved myself to my feet without
looking
at him, stretched my way over to the saddlebags,
then
helped myself to some rabbit without paying any
more
attention to the other two men than 1 had to Zail.
Fearless
leader had been the one who had refused to let me
stand a
watch, but Zail and Kadrim had made no effort to
get him
to change his mind. It hadn't been hard to decide
that if
they agreed with him so completely, the least I
could
do was accord them the same treatment I was giving
him. I
took my rabbit and sat down with my back to the
three
to eat it. and somewhere behind me someone sighed.
I
didn't know which one of them it was, but it really didn't
matter.
Dranna
was the first one to be awakened, and from
Kadrim's
whispered explanation to her I gathered that Su
had
stood a very long watch and was therefore going to be
allowed
to sleep a little while longer. Dranna had some
difficulty
getting herself unwound from where she'd slept,
but I
couldn't help noticing how comfortable Su looked, as
though
she were stretched out on the softest of beds rather
than on
stiff grass covering very hard ground. I'd spent a
lot of
years sleeping on hard, uncomfortable surfaces, and
looking
at Su reminded me of the trouble I'd had the first
SHARON
GREEN
222
nights
in Morgiana's house. A soft bed isn't a luxury when
that
isn't at atl what you're used to, and I remembered
how
surprised Morgiana had been when she'd walked in
one
night to find me curled up on the nig in front of the
Fireplace
in my room. It had taken me time to get used to
using
the fine bed I'd been given, and I wondered with a
faint
smile if Su had used the bed I'd created for her
along with
her pavilion. If we ever did get out of there to a
place I
could use magic again, I'd have to remember to ask
her
what she preferred in the way of sleeping accommoda-
tions.
Dranna
was mostly moving freely again and was already
eating
some of the rabbit, when Zail came quickly back
into
our bushes from wherever he had gone, gesturing
toward
us unmistakably to keep quiet. Rik got immediately
to his
feet and Kadrim put a hand on Dranna's shoulder,
but
straining my ears didn't bring me any sounds I hadn't
been
hearing before. Zail gestured over his shoulder as he
moved
soundlessly to Su's side to wake her, and then the
noise
began coming to us, the noise of hoofbeats mixed
with
voices. The voices appeared to be enjoying them-
selves
and the hoofbeats were taking their time, and when
i
looked around at our group again there were four swords
in four
fists, the weapons having been drawn soundlessly.
Su had
gone from sleep to full wakefulness almost instan-
taneously,
doing a good job destroying one of the excuses
Rik had
given me, and then we were all crowding around
Zail.
' 'It's
a group of riders, probably members of that Sacred
Guard
from the looks of them," Zail whispered low,
mainly
to fearless leader. "Coming up the road, most
likely
heading for the city we just passed. Considering the
number
of blades involved, we might be better off not
mixing
it up with them."
"If
the choice stays ours, I'll keep that in mind," Rik
murmured,
and then he glanced around at me rest-of us.
"Everyone
get mounted as quietly as you can, and once in
the
saddle stay low. If they just keep going, we'll move
out as
soon as they're out of sight, but if our luck turns
bad
we'll have to be ready. In case of a fight, Zail,
Kadrim
and 1 will hold them off, Su, while you run as fast
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 223
as you
can with Dranna and LacieL You'll be following
the
trail and once we break free we'll be following you, so
make
sure you leave some sign. You'll also have to take
care of
the girls if you run into any more of these, but
we'll
be along as fast as we can so it shouldn't be for too
long.
Okay, everybody to their horses."
No one
stopped to ask for clarification, to put questions,
or to
lodge objections, which was to be expected consider-
ing how
close the sounds on the road had grown. I went to
my
horse with the others, just as silent as they, but hardly
with
the same intention; Rikkan Addis had excluded me
once,
but if he thought he was going to do it again, he was
crazy.
Su could look after Dranna, who was pale and
seemed
to be very frightened; the other one of "the girls"
didn't
need to be looked after.
Although
the horses had spent our rest time saddled,
they'd
also eaten and slept and now seemed ready to get
on with
the journey. We discovered, however, that they
were a
little too ready; they began dancing as soon as we
were in
our saddles, eager to be off and thinking we were
the
same- Most of us were able to hold them reasonably
still
but Dranna, distracted by nervousness, was a shade
too
slow with reins and knees. "Until then we'd been very
glad to
have strong, high-spirited mounts under us; as soon
as the
shouts came, telling us we hadn't been iucky enough
to have
the movement of a white horse in the middle of
greenery
go unnoticed, the gladness began evaporating.
"We
don't want to be caught in here," Rikkan Addis
-said
quickly when it was certain we'd been discovered, his
sword
back in his hand. "Everybody out before we're
surrounded,
and don't forget what you're supposed to
do."
With
that he let his roan surge forward, and once we
had
charged through the screen of bushes, he and the other
two men
wheeled left to ride at the mounted force coming
at us
from the road, while Su and Dranna took off right at
fall
speed, angling for another pan of the road. If bad luck
had
gotten us noticed in the bushes, good hick had seen to
it that
most of the riders had already gone past our position
when it
had happened. Su and Dranna had a clear road,
and
they lost no time taking it.
SHARON
GREEN
224
1
turned to look at the natives who had discovered us,
and
foundlhem considerably different from the ones we'd
spoken
to the night before. There seemed to be about a
dozen
of them or more, and each one was twice the size of
the
small, nervous man, welt-fed and well-fleshed, some
bearded,
all wearing brown and gray uniforms, brown
boots,
and swordbelts. They shouted in surprise when they
found
themselves being attacked, two of them going down
with
their swords only half drawn, the snarls on their faces
showing
their affront. They'd probably thought we were
some of
the small, helpless people, easy targets for riding
over
even without weapons, but they were quickly learning
better.
Even so there were only three men coming at them,
which
made them very eager to wet their blades.
Fd had
enough time to consider what I would do, and
the
first requirement was to find something to fight with.
A
nearby tree provided that in the form of a dead branch,
long
enough and heavy enough to do what I needed it to,
and it
didn't take long breaking it free. I turned with it in
my hand
to discover that two of the big natives had
worked
their way behind Kadrim and Zail, and weren't far
from putting
their blades in their backs. My gray needed
very
little urging to get me over there at top speed, and
then 1
was swinging away, getting one of them in the head
and the
other in the shoulder. The first went down without
a
sound, either unconscious or dead, but the second yelled,
his
sword gone and his shoulder probably broken, and then
he was
down, too, a crack in the face quieting him immedi-
ately.
The heavy branch in my hand had vibrated every
time
I'd struck, and the feeling of exhilaration was incredi-
ble. So
much for helplessness, and so much for running.
By that
time everyone knew i was there, my three quest
companions
as well as me natives. Rikkan Addis had
begun
cursing furiously as h?. fought, and for some reason
Zail
and Kadrim seemed Justus angry- It hadn't occurred
to me
that those two would think I was trying to steal their
thunder,
but I didn't have the time to worry about it. After
gaping
at me incredulously for a moment, some of the
natives
stopped trying to reach the men and were yanking
their
horses around, heading toward me.
The
next few minutes were more than brisk, but that's
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 225
not to
say they weren't enjoyable. The first two to reach
me made
the acquaintance of my branch, and although
they
didn't go down i was sure I could hear the sound of
bones
breaking. My gray danced and snapped at the smaller
horses
being ridden by the natives, frightening the poor
beasts
into backing off with squeals, and I kept my branch
hard on
the move, making the riders shy about coming too
close
to it. All in all it was a lot of fun, but it did seem to
be
nearing the time we should have been getting out of
there.
I glanced over toward my three companions, seeing
that
they were engaged and still outnumbered but easily
holding
their own, and then—
"Got
her!" a voice came from directly behind me, just
before
two oversized arms closed around me. My gray
half-reared
at the feel of the extra weight on his back, but
it was
too late to unseat the native who had jumped onto
my
horse behind me. My right arm was pulled down and
held
close to my body like the left, and then other hands
were on
the branch and forcing it out of my grip. i struggled
furiously,
kicking and trying to pull loose, but die one
behind
me wasn't alone, and suddenly there was a strip of
leather
being tied tight around my wrists. I shrieked with
rage
and tried to keep it from happening, but it was already
too
late and then I was being lifted and pulled from my
saddle
onto the mount of one of the natives, my struggling
either
endured or ignored- I hadn't expected them to do
that,
not in the middle of a fight, and then it became
much,
much worse.
The one
holding me turned his horse and, surrounded by
at least
four of his friends, began riding at top speed
directly
toward the city we'd skirted so carefully the night
before.
CHAPTER
8
We rode
slowly past small but solid-looking houses as we
entered
the city, and most of the people on the streets
turned
to stare at my grinning, joking escort, their expres-
sions a
mixture I didn't care to analyze too closely. Some ^
of the
people walking wore uniforms like those of the men
who had
captured me. mostly brown trimmed with gray,
plus
gray insignia of some sort, but others wore outfits that
were
more one-piece suits than uniforms, the gray showing
up in
them to a greater extent and not just as trim. The
men in
suits were deferred to by the small, quiet people,
the
ones who were barefoot and wearing no more than ,•
strips
of brown cloth. The houses and buildings behind
them
all were neat and looked well-kept, but they were as
dull
and drab as the brown-haired, brown-eyed people
themselves.
For the
hundredth time I tried moving my wrists in the
leather
holding mem together, but there was as tittle give
in the
strip as there was hope inside of me. I'd completely |
forgotten
what those people had said about me being prom- ^
ised to
their god-king, and I'd finally gotten depressed
enough
to admit that joining the fight and giving them the
chance
to capture me was probably the stupidest thing I'd
ever
done in my entire life. For someone who'd set out to
prove
she wasn't helpless, I'd certainly done a bang-up
job. -?<,
The man
I rode in front of tightened his arm around my '^
226 ¥^,;
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 227
waist
as I shifted on the saddle, making sure I wouldn't go
far if
1 tried to throw myself off his horse again- He hadn't
hurl me
in any way, even when I'd been kicking his legs
black
and blue, but he also hadn't let me get away from
him. He
and his friends had begun laughing almost hyster-
ically
since we'd left the woods, congratulating themselves
on
their fantastically good fortune, which led me to believe
they
were in line for a reward quite a bit more substantial
than
what had been promised to the small, frightened
people.
The man who held me had almost killed his horse
by
making it gallop while carrying double, and it hadn't
bothered
him in the least. Either horses were cheap and
easy to
come by to someone of his station, or he was
anticipating
being soon able to buy as many horses as he
wanted
or needed.
We were
only moving at a walk, but that was fast
enough
to take us from small buildings to larger ones to
big,
tail, sprawling ones in just a few minutes. The people
walking
and riding in that part of the city had even more
gray in
me color scheme of their clothing, and just when I
thought
there weren't any such things as women who
weren't
small and obvious servants, I began seeing a few.
They
wore long, loose dresses^with thin veils over their
faces
and none of them was without escort, but they were
there
and real and they also took their turn staring at me. I
kept
telling myself I didn't know why they were all doing
so much
staring, but unfortunately for my peace of mind, I
didn't
believe myself for a minute.
We threaded
our way through the city without stopping
even
once, up narrow streets and alleys, down wider ave-
nues,
past shops and houses and taverns and stables, around
wells
and fountains. It took quite a while before I lost
track
of the turns, but eventually the riding around and
about,
twisting and turning, overcame my ability to follow
mem and
remember. I wondered if the men had been
trying
to confuse me on purpose, and then we rounded a
test
turn and I understood that confusing me had nothing to
do with
the route they'd chosen. At the end of the widest
avenue
I'd seen yet stood the guarded entrance of a palace
of
light gray stone blocks, a palace whose walls stretched
228
SHARON GREEN
away
into the distance, the place we'd obviously been
heading
for all along. My escort had wanted to get there as
soon as
possible, so they'd taken the shortest backstreet
route
they'd known.
"Starting
that kicking and fussing all over again won't
get you
any more than tired, girl," the man behind me
said,
his accent as thick as that of the man from the night
before,
but in some way slightly different. "We were told
you
don't tike the idea of being given to the god-king and
would
run away from the honor if you could, but none of
us is
going to let that happen. You belong to Thannar now,
blessed
be his name, and that's the way it's going to
stay."
The
others came in as an automatic echo to the blessed-be
part,
just like the small people the night before, and that
made me
more upset and frantic than I had been. Those
men
weren't simply looking forward to a reward, they
were
eagerly bringing their god-king something he very
much
wanted, and part of their reward was the fact that
they
were the ones doing it. If everyone in that palace felt
the same
I'd never escape, not unless the impossible hap-
pened
and I regained the Sight. Right then I felt the loss of
magic
more than I'd thought I ever would, finally begin-
ning to
understand just how important it was to my life.
I'd
always considered it something I did simply because
Morgiana
wanted me to, and because I did it well; after all
those
years I was learning there was more to magic than
just
doing it, and the revelation was a very unsettling one.
The
guards at the palace entrance did no more than stare
as they
stepped aside, so it was no more than another
couple
of minutes before we stopped in the middle of a
wide
stone courtyard and my escort began dismounting.
Ignoring
the advice of the man who was holding me I'd
been
struggling anyway, which accomplished bringing over
two of
the other men to pull me to my feet and hold me
instead
of just one. As soon as the man who had been
holding
me dismounted he took over possession of my
right
arm, and he and the second man dragged me between
them,
through wide wooden doors and into the palace
proper.
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 229
If I'd
been expecting to find the brightening of color in
the
palace, 1 would have been disappointed. Gray stone
walls,
floor and ceiling, brown wooden tables, dark paint-
ings,
dark sculpture, dull silver weapons, even dark wall
hangings,
in the few places there were any. The corridors
and
halls were wide, high and cold, the people either
creeping
along if they were servants or moving quietly if
they
were of higher class, and no one anywhere seemed
capable
of normal laughter. Even my escort had com-
pletely
sobered, and at one point I wondered briefly if
people
could have been staring at me because of what 1
was
wearing. My rose-colored shirt and gold trousers
weren't
exactly bright and fresh, but they were a far cry
from
brown and gray.
Our
walk through the palace seemed to have as many
turns
and twists as our ride through the city, but eventually
we got
where we were going. A dark door of carved wood
had two
guards standing in front of it, and as we ap-
proached
one of the guards knocked and entered. He was
out
again and off somewhere even before we reached it, so
the
second guard had to be the one to open it again for us.
Inside
was a man wearing quite a lot of gray over his
pudgy
body, a man who was snort but not as short as the
small
servant people. He sat behind a thin-legged table in
the
large, cold room, a table he seemed to be using as a
desk,
and once I'd been pulled through the doorway he
rose
and walked around to the front of the table to study
me.
"Excellent,"
he said with a faint smile as he looked up
at me,
his dark eyes bright with pleasure. "There can be
no
doubt that this is the female meant as a gift for our
beloved
god-king, the one he has been expecting. The
reports
of her arrival were true after all, and soon he will
make
her his."
"I'm
a human being, not a gift, and I don't belong to
anyone
but myself," I said, looking down coldly at the
overweight
man. "Tell these idiots to let me go, and show
me the
way out of this place. I have things to do, and you
imbeciles
are wasting my time."
"1
can see you have much to leam about your new
SHARON
GREEN
230
place,"
he told me, the gleam in his eyes shifting to one of
anticipation.
"Our god-king will find a great deal of plea-
sure in
teaching you those lessons, and once he has begun
you'll
see the necessity in teaming them quickly. What
you
were allowed with the god-king who sent you will not
be
allowed here."
The
short man stepped back then, dismissing me com-
pletely
from consideration, and looked at my escort with a
warm,
full smile of approval.
"You
men will be more than commended for your work
this
day," he said, his tone causing them to straighten with
pride
and pleasure. "The god-king himself will give you
his
blessing when he gives you your reward, and your
names
will be entered in the Registry of the Ages, as those
who
gave invaluable assistance to our beloved leader. You
will
also, of course, now be allowed to choose females of
your
own, who will bear you sons to carry on your names,
rather
than to simply continue producing sons of the god-
king
whom you are forbidden to know. You will establish
Families,
very minor ones but Families nonetheless, and
not
until the third generation will those Families need to be
reestablished.
You should be well-pleased with what you've
earned."
The
five men were more than we)! pleased, their shining
eyes
totally unaware of the disgust 1 was feeling. It's not
hard to
know a culture by what rewards it gives its people,
and on
that scale of measurement their culture sickened
me. The
small servant-people weren't the only ones being
oppressed,
and for the life of me 1 couldn't understand
why
they all put up with it.
"Ah,
here are the House guards," the short man said,
gesturing
to the door behind us which still stood open. A
group
of newcomers in uniform had appeared there, and
they
looked at my escort with undisguised envy. "They'll
take
the female now, while I take your names for my
records."
The two
men holding my arms gave me up without a
murmur
to two of the newcomers, and the last 1 saw of the
five
was the way they crowded around the short man's
desk,
waiting for him to reseat himself. My new escort
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
consisted
of four, and they took me in a direction away
from
the one we'd used coming in- Their attitudes were
even
more impersonal than those of my first escort, and I
couldn't
keep from feeling even more depressed.
After
only a few minutes of walking, we turned a comer
to see
a wide corridor that led nowhere but to a plain, very
heavy
wooden door that had metal bars in a small square
about
two-thirds of the way up it—and a wide metal bar
locking
it closed. In front of it stood four guards, big men
who
looked as if they could use the swords they were
wearing,
and with no other door or corridor in sight, the
door
they were guarding had to be where we were going.
It
didn't take much to see that if they got me behind that
door
I'd really be trapped, and the panic that rose up in me
gave me
even more strength than I normally had. Without
warning
I twisted hard against the hands holding my arms,
using
surprise to break me loose, then turned and shoul-
dered
between the shocked pair of men walking behind,
knocking
them aside. With the corridor behind suddenly
wide
open I took off like an arrow, running faster than I
ever
had in my life.
I
hadn't known running with your hands tied could be so
hard,
but I couldn't let that stow me any more than I couid
let
myself hear the pounding of feet'behmd me- Doors and
corridor
walls flashed past in a blur, some with small,
brown-clad
figures huddled uncertainly in front of them,
and
then 1 nearly went down when I charged around one
comer
right into a man in a suit. The man, smaller than
me,
went flying to the right from the sudden collision, but
although
he hadn't stopped me he had slowed me enough.
I was
able to take no more than another four steps before
hands
closed on my arms again, big hands that weren't
going
to let me pull loose a second time. I screamed in
rage
and swung my bound arms around and kicked, but
even
the strength still being pumped all through my body
couldn't
help me again. They lifted me off my feet in grips
I
couldn't break, and this time I was carried where they
wanted
me to go: up to the door, through it, and inside.
By the
time they put me back on my feet, my heart was
no
longer pounding. 1 was still sweating from the run and
232
SHARON GREEN
my
breathing wasn't exactly even, but the surge that had
come
from the thought of escaping was long gone, buried
under
the bitter realization that I'd been kidding myself.
Even if
I hadn't collided with that man I wouldn't have
made it
out of the palace, not with pursuers only a few
steps
behind me and guards all over the place ahead. I
hadn't
wanted to admit that I really was trapped there,
permanently
caught because of my own stupidity. I de-
served
whatever they did to me—and the worst part of that
was
that 1 didn't know what the whatever would turn out
to be.
"Ah,
that's her, of course," a voice said, making me
look up
to see the thin man who had come out from behind
a
hanging of gray, two bigger men following along behind
him. We
now stood in the room behind the heavy wooden
door,
an area of about ten feet by ten feet that was
completely
bare except for the gray hanging on the wall
opposite
the door.
"Yes,
that's her," one of my escort agreed, his voice
the
least bit unsteady. "She tried to run, but we caught her
without
any trouble."
"Fortunately
for you," the thin man said, the look in
his
dark eyes making the guard beside me pale "So she's
a
runner, is she? Well, she won't find anywhere to run in
here.
You four may leave now."
The men
nearly stumbled over their own feet getting out
of
there, and although 1 wasn't in the mood to sympathize
with
them, I knew exactly how they felt. If I could have
walked
back out of that door the relief would have been
indescribable,
but all I could do was stand there and hear it
closed
and locked behind me.
"Well,
we can dispense with that now, can't we?" the
thin
man said, coming over to begin untying the leather
strip
on my wrists. His long-fingered hands worked quickly,
and
when the leather was off he stepped back to coil it,
staring
at me thoughtfully. "I couldn't quite believe any
female
would be foolish enough to try to escape the ulti-
mate
honor, but I can see from your expression that it's
true,"
he said, his voice cold and disapproving. "You'll
soon
have that nonsense knocked out of you, of course,
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
233
and
that stubborn, insolent look in your eyes as well.
Follow
me, now, and no more foolishness from you."
He
turned and walked back toward the gray hanging, the
two men
behind him stepping aside to let him by, but all 1
did was
stand there rubbing at my wooden wrists. I'd been
tied so
long I could barely feel them or my hands, but not
so long
that the numbness had affected my mind. I didn't
know
what lay behind the hanging, and had absolutely no
interest
in finding out, and when the man glanced back
over
his shoulder, he got the message immediately -
"How
annoying you are'" he complained as he stopped,
his
chin rising indignantly. "How I wish the god-king had
the
time to take you in hand at once! Bring her!"
The
order was directed to the two men who had stepped
aside
for him, men who were wearing uniforms rather than
the
suit he had on. Their uniforms weren't precisely like
me
uniforms of the men who were members of the Sacred
Guard,
but even with the extra gray they were still uni-
forms.
As the two men came to take my arms I tried to
resist,
but after an unbelievably short scuffle ! found my-
self
being forced through the hanging, following after the
thin
man who led the way with a good deal of satisfaction.
Directly
behind the hanging-was a very large room that
seemed
to be round and was torch-lit to the point of
brightness,
and this time I couldn't help returning the
stares
1 was getting. A thick, soft cloth of gray covered
most of
the floor, and on that cloth sat dozens of dark-
haired,
dark-eyed women, very beautiful, very shapely
women
who were combing each others' hair, helping each
other
exercise, or simply sitting and holding low conversa-
tions.
They all slopped what they were doing to stare when
I was
brought into the room, and my return stare was more
distraught
than curious; except for one woman being draped
in
clingy gray cloth by three small servant women, every
one of
them was naked.
"This,
of course, is the place the god-king's favorites
are
kept," the thin man said over his shoulder to me, his
tone
now smug. "You'll find that I'm in complete charge,
subject
only to the god-king himself. If punishment should
be
ordered for you, I'm the one who will see it carried
out."
SHARON
GREEN
234
The
women were all absolutely silent as I was taken
across
the floor, many of them looking very frightened at
the
mention of punishment, and then the thin man stopped
in
front of one of a series of narrow oval openings, and
gestured
toward it as I was brought to a halt in front of
him.
"For
your impertinence and disobedience, you'll be
kept in
here until the god-king sends for you," I was (old,
the
words cold but very satisfied. "If you want to be
allowed
the company of other females, you'll have to earn
the
privilege."
At his
gesture I was bent and thrust through the open-
ing,
hard enough to land me on all fours on the gray cloth
the
tiny room was carpeted with. I twisted around in time
to see
the metal grating, but not soon enough to keep it
from
being closed across the narrow, oval opening. I was
locked
in, and then 1 was left alone.
1
looked around at the narrow, low-ceilinged alcove
from
where I now sat, seeing plain stone walls without
opening
or lamp, then simply lay down on the floor on my
left
side. I would have been grateful for having been left
my
clothes, but I knew well enough that that particular
circumstance
was subject to change at any moment. I was
horribly
upset and horribly confused, but it had finally
come
through to me that Kadnm had been right about my
strength
compared to a man's. I'd tried over and over
again
to get free but I hadn't been strong enough to do it,
and I
simply didn't understand why that was so. If I wasn't
strong
enough, and even a stranger tike Kadrim knew I
wouldn't
be, why hadn't / known it? Why had I continued
to
believe it was only a matter of tiredness? 1 was so
confused
I could barely think—and I was something else
as
well.
I drew
my knees up closer to my chest and closed my
eyes,
determined not to show anyone how I felt, but
finding
it impossible not to admit it to myself. I was more
afraid
than I'd been since I was very, very small, and alt I
wanted
to do was hide in a comer and tremble. Those
horrible
people had captured me and now I would never
get
away, nor would I be able to help the people of my
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
235
world
or even my quest companions. I had no help to give
on that
world, not to myself or to anyone else, and now we
six
were really trapped there forever. My part of it would
be
worse than theirs, but 1 couldn't say I hadn't earned it,
that 1
hadn't stepped forward and demanded it in ringing
tones.
I had asked for it, and now 1 was going to get it.
When I
was very small, I'd come to believe that nothing
in the
dark could hurt me if 1 lay very still and didn't make
a sound
of any sort- It wasn't really dark in that tiny
alcove,
but I tried it anyway.
"D'leljohr!"
I spat at the thin man, wishing with every
ounce
of strength 1 had that the spell would- work. but of
course
it didn't, instead of shredding the man just stood
there
rubbing his arm where I'd bitten him, glaring at me
where /
stood, held between his two male assistants. I was
so
furious 1 was trembling, but none of them were as calm
and
cool as they'd been a little while earlier either.
"I
have never seen a female so impossible!" the thin
man
hissed, his skin flushed from the struggle- "Again
your
hair is disarranged, but we no longer have the time to
see to
it. We must go now, and the consequences will be
yours.
Bring her!" •'
He
stalked off toward a different gray hanging than the
one I'd
been brought through originally, and his two assis-
tants
lost no time forcing me after him. The naked women
in the
room stared at us silently as we passed them, but
this
time they seemed more relieved than frightened.
As far
as I'd been able to determine, about a day and a
half
had passed since I'd first been brought there. No part
of the
area seemed to contain a window, but I was fairly
sure it
was the evening of the day after I'd been captured.
I'd
slept undisturbed in the alcove for a long time, and
when
I'd awakened the women in the outer room had been
asleep.
A couple of hours later the small servant women
had
entered bringing food, and that signaled the start of the
day.
After eating the combing and exercising and chatting
began
again, the only things those women seemed to do.
I spent
the day refusing whatever was brought me in the
way of
sustenance, and by the time the third meal was
.236 SHARON GREEN
finished
the small serving women were rather upset. It was
then
that two of the naked women opened the metal grat-
ing of
the alcove and gestured me out, and they became
just as
upset as the serving women when I did come out
but
refused to let them near me. One had reached to my
clothes
as though she intended taking them while the other
stood
by with a comb, but I wasn't about to join their club.
I
pushed them gently away from me and shook my head,
men
wandered around the undecorated area trying to find
something
interesting to look at.
About
twenty minutes later the thin man showed up,
grew
furious when the two women hurried over and whis-
pered
something to him, then summoned his male assis-
tants.
With a room that large it took the two of them a
while
to catch me, and every time I kicked one the watch-
ing
women gasped and moaned; but even though the men
didn't
have all of it their way, they had enough. Despite
the way
I fought I lost my clothes and boots, and then I
was held
relatively still while my hair was combed. Even
through
the furious embarrassment 1 felt, I was able to
wonder
about their god-king's tastes, that a woman would
have
her hair combed before being brought to him, but
would
not be bathed. If I'd had any doubts about those
people
that little item would have settled them, but I didn't
have
doubts. All 1 knew was that I had to force them to
kill me
as quickly as possible, preferably even before I
saw
their god-king.
That,
of course, was not the way it turned out. When
enough
of the knots were out of my hair, two of the
servant
women were gestured over to "dress" me. Two
wide.
ankle-length panels of brown attached to a very
narrow
band of soft material were fastened around my
hips,
which left the outer sides of both of my thighs and
legs
bare. When the naked women gasped I thought at first
it was
sight of that offensive, humiliating "outfit" that
caused
it, but then it suddenly came to me that it was the
color
they were reacting to. All brown, without the least
touch
of gray, was probably an insult, one, most likely, to
match
the insult of my having tried to run away. To me the
color
would have been fine if only there had been more of
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
237
it, but
that hip-halter thing turned out not to be the worst
of it.
For the
top of me, all I was given was a wide brown
necklace
of wooden beads, a necklace barely long enough
or wide
enough to cover anything at all. When the thin
man
came forward with a smirk and put his hand up to
adjust
the thing, my teeth reached his arm before his hand
reached
the beads.
"Bring
her faster!" the thin man hissed over his shoul-
der to
the men hurrying me along, more upset than outrage
now in
his voice. "If we arrive late, we'll lose more than
we
already have!"
The men
tightened their already-tight grips and increased
our
pace along the narrow, featureless corridor, showing
less
agitation than the man ahead of them, but apparently
feeling
no less. The stone of the corridor floor was cold
and
hard under my bare feet, but they wouldn't have cared
even if
it was painful; they were all wearing boots, and I
wasn't
the one they were worrying about. The beads around
my neck
clacked with the pace the men forced on me, and
I hated
the sound more than anything else I could think of.
The
corridor turned to the left and we did too, and about
fifty
feet ahead there was another heavy, barred door that
looked
to be shut tight. The thin man reached it first and
said
something through the small window, and by the time
we got
there it was already swinging open. Outside was a
stone
room with four guards and another man who wasn't
a
guard, and that man gestured the thin man to him where
he
stood peering out the side of yet another gray hanging.
"You're
just in time," the man said to the thin man in a
very
soft voice, looking tremblingly relieved. "He'll be
through
in a minute, and then he wants her brought to him.
Before
he ends the audience he's going to show her off,
and then
he'll take her to his apartments. Why is she
dressed
in that color?"
"The
command came directly from him," the thin man
answered,
still not over his upset. "The court will be very
impressed
when they see him doing this to a gift from
another
god-king, don't you think?"
"He
did something like this to a captive about a hun-
238 SHARON GREEN
dred
and fifty years ago." the other man said, looking
thoughtful.
"The records of my predecessors make men-
tion of
it, but it's hardly likely any members of the present
court
know about it. Yes, they will be impressed, not that
he
really needs to impress them. He just seems to enjoy
it."
The
thin man nodded agreement as the other turned back
to the
hanging to peek through it again, but I couldn't help
frowning
at what they were taking so casually. A hundred
and
fifty years ago? The man had been their god-king for
mat
long or longer? From their comments it was clear their
own
people didn't live that long, so why had their god-
king?
Or, what was an even better question, what was their
god-king?
"That's
it," the man said from the hanging, gesturing
to the
ones who held me. "Take her out there now."
He and
the thin man parted the hanging and held it out
of the
way, and despite my struggles I was forced through
it. I
felt very cold and sick to my stomach, and barely
noticed
the very large, gray-trimmed room I was suddenly
in.
There must have been more man a hundred people in
that
room, all of them men, all of them dressed mostly in
gray,
all of them on their knees, and all of them staring at
me- To
the left of the hanging and about thirty yards away
was a
raised platform, and on the very top step was a
throne
of silver. Below the throne was a wide step almost
like a
stage, and on that step stood a single figure, dressed
all in
silver. I was able to see dark hair above an indistinct
face
that was looking straight at me, and then 1 was being
forced
to my knees and my head was pressed to the stone
of the
floor.
Outrage
has always come to me rather easily, and being
knelt
in front of someone did it for me that time. When
they
finally pulled me to my feet again I was more angry
than
afraid, and strangely enough that seemed to frighten
me two
men holding me. They dragged me along at what
was
nearly a run, hauled me up the wide steps of the
platform,
then thrust me forward toward the waiting figure
in
silver. As soon as their hands were off me they dropped
to
their knees, and quickly put their heads to the stone.
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
239
I
looked back at the man standing alone on the step of
the
platform, tossed my head to get the hair back over my
shoulders,
then folded my arms the way his were folded.
He was
staring at me with a faint smile on his face, and
from
that close I could see that his eyes were as silver as his
clothing
and throne. He was tail and broad-shouldered and
lean,
good-iooking if your tastes run that way, and certainly
didn'l
appear to be a hundred and fifty years oid. A
horrified
murmur had arisen from the men kneeling all
over
the room, probably due to the lack of respect I was
showing
their god-king, and all at once I had very high
hopes
of being killed very quickly.
Which
were dashed almost immediately when the man
unfolded
his arms and began walking toward me, true
amusement
reflected in his eyes. 1 wouldn't have given
him the
satisfaction of backing away from him for any-
thing
imaginable, but the closer he got the more the chill
returned,
and suddenly I realized that my arms were no
longer
folded but now held up in front of me in an effort to
cover
myself.
"My,
my, what very wide violet eyes you have," he
murmured
as he stopped in front of me, looking down at
me with
his own strange silver ones. Even held low his
voice
was deep, and his accent was different from any of
the
others I'd heard on thai world. "They're very pretty
eyes,
and they seem to be afraid of me."
I tried
to make myself tell him that I wasn't afraid of
him,
but before the words could come out his right hand
flashed
to my hair, and then all 1 could do was gasp with
me pain
of his very tight grip.
"Which
means they're very wise eyes," he said in that
same
murmur, pulling me closer to him by the fist in my
hair.
"Considering what I can and just might have done to
you,
you should be afraid of me. First, of course, I'll have
some
personal pleasure from you, but after the centuries
I've
lived, that usually isn't enough. I'm going to show
you off
for a white as my personal triumph, but how long
that
while continues depends entirely on you. There are no
light-haired
women in this part of the world, which makes
it
worth my while to keep you for a bit, but not if you
240
SHARON GREEN
don't
learn very quickly how a female behaves toward her
god-king.
Now, you will leam that quickly, won't you?"
There
was no longer any amusement in his eyes, only a
chilling
kind of madness, and I remembered what the
small
people had said to us that night, and how deep-down
frightened
they'd been. But I also remembered who and
what /
was, and somehow the way he was hurting me
made
saying what! had to easier.
"No
matter low long you've lived, you'll never live
long
enough to see that," I whispered, wishing I could
have
spoken a little more forcefully. Despite what I'd said
I was
afraid of him, and the fear didn't seem to want to
stop
spreading.
"Then
there will be other, more interesting things to
see,"
he said, the gleam strengthening in those eyes, and
then he
turned and pulled me hard toward the center of the
platform
step, moving me by the hair as he strode along.
My own
stride was more of a running stumble, and it was
all I
could do not to cry out in pain the way he was trying
to make
me do. When we got to the center of the step he
threw
me to the stone at his feet, and then his voice rang
out in
that very high, very wide room.
"My
loyal worshipers, you now see before you the
tribute
sent to me by a brother god," he orated, the
self-satisfaction
in his voice very thick. "As you know.
my
brother gods fear me, but I do not fear them. I will do
as I
wish with this gift sent to appease me, and they will
do
nothing in return. In time this female will be sacrificed
to my
godhood, proving once again that none may stand
against
me, not even what is sent by other gods. I am your
god and
your king, and my word and desires are supreme!"
"Thannar,
god and king, blessed be his name," chanted
every
voice in that room, the kneeling men looking up at
the
figure above them, the figure that stood with its arms
raised
in triumph. I sat on the stone at his feet, one hand to
my
head, wondering if I'd have me chance to kill myself—or
him—before
we reached the time of that "sacrifice," and
then
something happened that shocked everyone in the
room.
"Thannar,
god and fool, to spit on the indulgent gener-
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 241
osity
of other gods," another deep voice rang out, coming
from
floor level at the far side of the platform. "As you
mink so
little of the gift given you, it will now, in punish-
ment,
be withdrawn."
By that
time he had climbed to the platform step to stare
calmly
at the man in silver, but he was the only calm one
in the
entire room. I gaped at him stupidly, finding it
impossible
to believe that he was really there, seeing the
way the
torches made his bronze eyes glow even more
strongly
than usual. The kneeling men below the platform
were
gasping and exclaiming in horror, but the man with
the
silver eyes was nearly foaming in rabid rage.
"You
would dare?" he demanded, his voice choked and
nearly
incoherent, one fist held closed before him in fury.
"/
am the god here, and there are no others, none! My
word is
supreme and my will is all! No cub can come to
give me
insult in my world, I refuse to allow it! To your
knees,
boy, and worship at the feet of your divine supe-
rior!
Down, I say!"
"And
1 say no," Rik answered, still as calm and unim-
pressed
as he had been, his arms folded across his leather
shirt.
His sword hung sheathed at his side, but since the
man in
silver had no sword, he "seemed to be ignoring it.
"Then
you will die!" Thannar'spat, insane triumph
glaring
from his eyes. He appeared to be delighted that Rik
had
refused to grovel like everyone else, that he would
now be
given an opportunity to do something he loved to
do. The
silver gleam of his eyes began growing and
strengthening—and
then started spreading to the rest of
him! As
his form began blurring and shirting everyone in
the
room cried out in terror, giving voice to a fear they
were
very well used to, but still cringed before. I moved
quickly
along the stone to the very edge of the platform
step,
trying to get out of the way, finally understanding
why the
people of that world thought Thannar was a god.
He was
a man with a link-shape, something no one else of
that
world could possibly be, and because of that was
someone
to be worshiped.
The
first cries of terror had been augmented by more,
since
Rik hadn't just stood there waiting to be attacked.
242
SHARON GREEN
He,
too, had reached toward his link-shape, and in a
matter
of moments the platform held two beasts rather than
two
men. One was big and silver and the other was big
and
bronze, and as soon as they were fuliy formed they
leaped
at each other, snarls of blood-need sounding instead
of
words. They came together with a thud of strength, and
then it
was time for claws and teeth.
"The
will of a god is not to be denied," came a sudden
chanting
from behind me. all of the voices clearly petri-
fied.
"No man can conquer a god nor refuse his desires.
We who
are nothing bow to the one who is ail. His victory
will be
our victory, and in his victory he will stand alone.
We who
are nothing worship the one who is all. His glow
lights
the way of our lives . . ."
The
voices continued on and on, a terrified litany which
became
a backdrop for the raging battle on the platform
step.
Amid the snarling and biting and clawing that the
words
nearly drowned out, it came to me that the prayer
wasn't
being specifically directed toward Thannar; not
once
was the god-king's name mentioned, and I wondered
if the
people were using that particular prayer to cover
themselves.
If Thannar won, they were just speaking the
words
he had obviously taught them; if by some chance
the
strange god won, he should not feel insulted over not
having
been prayed to. I just sat there and watched the
fight,
half afraid to wonder what Thannar had meant by
calling
Rik a "cub." It was true that people with link-
shapes
lived a very long time, and Thannar was a good
deal
older than Rik; did that mean his link-shape was also
a
better, more experienced fighter?
Right
at that moment, it was difficult coming up with an
answer
to that question; the two beasts were too closely
locked
into their battle. A sharp-fanged silver mouth bit at
a
bronze shoulder and leg white a bronze head tried bury-
ing its
mouth in a silver throat, and the two bodies thrashed
around
so violently with slashing claws that the two colors
almost
merged into one. Blood, of course, had already
been
drawn on both of them, but neither one was paying the
least
attention to it. I began moving around the platform
step to
the side Rik had appeared from, trying even harder
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
243
to keep
out of the way. The middle of that fight was no
place
for anyone who didn't have teeth and claws like
theirs,
and 1 was suddenly all through with resenting being
left
out of things.
The
snarling, raging battle went on for what seemed like
a very
long time, but I suppose it wasn't as long as it felt.
None of
the natives tried interfering, of course, and even if
I'd
been able to, I wouldn't have known when to do it.
One
minute the silver beast had the upper hand, so to
speak,
but the next minute it was Rik's turn, the great
bronze
body of his link-shape forcing its way free of silver
claws
or fangs to counterattack with a ferocity that at least
matched
his opponent's. The bloody wounds were increas-
ing on
both of them, and every time teeth closed on fur
and
flesh 1 could almost feel the pain of it myself.
A fight
between human opponents can sometimes end in
a draw,
but that doesn't often happen with our fiercer
cousins
who fight with natural weapons. Only if one of the
opponents
is willing to run can both of them survive a
meeting,
and in that instance there was no such willing-
ness.
The ongoing back and forth stopped suddenly when
the
silver beast lunged for a bronze head and eye and
missed,
leaving itself wide open" and extended. The chant-
ing
filling the room faltered when lightning-quick fangs
closed
on a silver throat, causing a howl of pain that rang
from
ceiling and walls with a near-human desperation. The
silver
beast who was Thannar had made a mistake, the last
one he
would ever make, something everyone knew at
once
when the howl abruptly cut off. The fangs in his
throat
were sinking deeper and deeper despite the way his
body
thrashed violently, trying to free itself, his claws
raking
uselessly at the bronze body now above his. Grimly,
the
bronze beast refused to release his hold, and slowly,
slowly,
the silver body ceased its struggles before one last
shudder
racked his body. Then he lay still, lifeblood ruin-
ing the
shining silver of his coat, a dullness glazing the
silver
of his eyes, death pouring forth from the gaping
wound
in his throat. Thannar the god-king was no more,
and the
bronze beast standing over him with blazing eyes
challenged
anyone or anything to deny that.
244
SHARON
GREEN
For an
instant there was absolute silence in that very
large
room, as though there wasn't anyone in it who was
as much
as breathing, and then, as though some signal had
been
given, everyone including the few guardsmen were
on
their knees with their heads to the stone. The god-king
was
dead, long live the new god-king, but that wasn't the
way the
victor wanted it. His beast body shimmered in a
bronze
glow and then he had changed back to a man, one
who
didn't spend any time at all gloating over his win or
inspecting
his new foHowers. He moved soundlessly to the
place 1
kneit, lifted me to my feet by one arm, then pulled
me down
the steps of the platform after him, hurrying
silently
to the rear of the platform. Just beyond the curve
of the
steps was a section of stone not quite as solid as it
appeared;
one push and it had opened like a door, and then
I was
thrust through into a narrow corridor of black.
1
suppose the narrow corridor would have been com-
pletely
silent if not for the heavy thudding of my heart,
especially
after Rikkan Addis closed the stone door again
behind
him, making the darkness even more solid- Very
briefly
he'd let go of my arm, and then he was squeezing
past me
and taking my hand instead.
"There
aren't many turnings along this passageway, but
there
are a few," he whispered, the faint sound of a sword
scraping
stone coming with his words. "If you don't let go
of my
hand we won't get separated, so hold on tight. We
ought to
have a decent head start before they come charg-
ing
after us, and they won't be able to come through that
door,
not with the bar in place. Let's go."
"Wait
a minute!" I whispered back, confused by what
he'd
said. "Why should they come charging after us? You
beat
Thannar in a fair fight, and the way they bowed to
you
proves they know it. Won't they be too afraid to try
and
stop you?"
"Laciel,
all their lives are built around having a god-
king,
and now they don't have one," he answered with a
sigh as
soft as his words. "As soon as they come out of
their
shock and realize I've left the palace, they'll come
after
me to get me back. Right now they have to have a
god-king,
and I don't want to be conscripted for the job.
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
245
There
are other things I'd much rather be doing, and
bowing
and scraping makes me uncomfortable. Now will
you
please come on?"
He
began moving deeper into the dark with his big hand
wrapped
around my fingers, which left me no choice but
to go
along. Not that I would have stayed if I'd been given
the
choice; my visit at the palace hadn't been the highlight
of our
quest journey for me, and the thought of getting out
of
there was one with a lot of appeal in it.
Our
pace along the very dark passageway was faster
than
I'd thought it would be, a deliberate traversal rather
than a
cautious groping through the unknown. It finally
came to
me that Rik was probably able to see a lot better
than I
could, and that was why he hadn't used a torch—
which
would be smoky and hot in such confined spaces.
Every
time I stepped on a pebble or a rough spot on the
uneven
stone floor I cursed silently under my breath,
wishing
/ could see that way; if you can't do magic, the
next
best thing is to have a magical talent.
It took
quite a while to make our way to the other end of
the
passage, and when Rik cautiously opened the door
there,
i was surprised to see the outer night rather than
some
place inside. He carefulty stuck his head out and
looked
all around, then took my hand again and pulled me
after
him, both of us running toward the comer of a dark
building
about sixty feel from our exit door. He didn't
slow
down until we were around that comer, and even
then he
didn't slow much. We continued at a half run,
constantly
looking all around, until we peered through a
tali
hedge to the left of the building we'd been moving
near;
behind the hedge were five brown horses tied to a
post,
and a minute later we were mounted and moving
along a
very dark, very quiet street.
Dressed
as I was, I was terribly cold, very uncomfortable
in the
hard leather saddle, and bruising my feet even more
in the
metal stirrups, but that didn't seem to be the time to
mention
it. Somewhere behind us and rather far away a
sound
floated on the night air, something tike shouting and
yelling
from numberless throats. There was an agonized
quality
to the shouting, a hint of loss and a desperate need
246
SHARON
GREEN
to heal
that loss, and I would have shivered even if I
hadn't
been cold. People, it seemed, weren't very eager to
lose
their god, even when he was as mad as Thannar had
been.
Finding
our way out of the city took even more hours, a
combination
of locating the proper streets, slinking through
shadows,
hiding at the least chance a noise meant someone
was
coming, finding a detour when groups of natives
appeared
to be somewhere ahead of us. Slinking on horse-
back
isn't the easiest thing to do, and once, when a troop
of
Sacred Guards rode past us so close that we could have
touched
them, 1 understood what Dranna had meant about
feeling
helpiess. If any of them had had a torch to light the
deep
shadows where we were hiding, they would have
seen us
in an instant. Rikkan Addis would have been able
to get
away by shifting to his link-shape, but I would have
been
able to do nothing more than sit there and let them
recapture
me. Not that they really wanted me. It was a
new
god-king they were after, and I would be nothing
more
than an addition to his harem.
Getting
out of the city was harder than we'd thought it
would
be, and if we hadn't used our horses as a diversion
we
might not have made it. We headed them back into the
city
with duplicate slaps, and when some of the roadblock
guards
went to investigate the source of their receding
hoofbeals,
we slipped through their thinned-out line and
ran for
the fields. Once again Rikkan Addis had my hand.
and if
he hadn't kept pulling me along I probably wouldn't
have
gotten very far. The fields were dark, and I kept
stepping
on things that hurt my already-bruised feet, and
my
lungs felt as though they were on fire, and I was still
coid in
spite of the way I had begun sweating from the run
and the
trot we eventually slowed to. The field we crossed
was wet
with dew, but after ten or fifteen minutes a
misting
drizzle began adding to it. The automaton clamped
to my
hand ignored it all and just kept trotting along, a
pace I
was sure was a concession to me. I thought briefly
about
forcing myself back to a run just to show that 1
could,
then immediately dismissed the idea. Running again
was
something I couldn't, not unless my life depended on
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
it, and
maybe not even then. All I could do was trot along
with one
hand to the necklace beads to keep them from
clacking,
and hope we got wherever we were going before
I
dropped in my tracks.
When we
finally stopped, it took me a minute to under-
stand
that we had. I'd been concentrating on nothing more
than keeping
my feet moving, and when I looked up to see
where
we were became aware of the dark, looming build-
ing we
stood beside. It had to be one of the big barns we'd
passed
when we'd ridden around the city, and Rikkan
Addis
was fiddling with something that hung down the
side of
it just where we'd come to a halt.
"Do
you think you can hold on tight around my neck?"
he
asked over his shoulder in a low voice, unbelievably
sounding
not winded at all. "It won't be very long now
before
it starts getting light, and we'd never make it past
the
rest of these fields before that even on horseback. We
have to
have some place to hide until it gets dark again."
"But
won't they find us if we stop this close to the
city?"
1 asked with the small amount of breath I had left,
wishing
I hadn't thought of the objection. "Shouldn't we
try for
a barn—farther away?"
"Even
if that was a better idea, I don't think we could
make
it," he said, turning to look down at me while trying
not to
sound really concerned—about me. "Happily, this
is the
best place for us, and the place where our horses are
hidden.
Let's get inside, and then I'll tell you all about
it."
Arguing
or asking for answers right then would have
taken
breath I didn't have, and getting inside wasn't sim-
ply a
matter of opening a door and walking in. What
Rikkan
Addis had been fiddling with was a rope, and in
order
to get up that rope I had to lock my arms around his
neck
from behind him while he climbed the thing. I hon-
estly
didn't see how he could pull the weight of two people
up a
rope in the dark, using only his arms, but the harder
part
turned out to be holding onto him while he did it. If
the run
across the fields hadn't caused him to breathe hard,
that
climb up the rope made up for it; he was close to
panting
before we reached a darker rectangle that was a
248 SHARON GREEN
wide,
unshuttered window, and I was close to losing my
grip on
him. As soon as I could I reached out with one
foot,
hooked it in the window just as he did the same, and
then we
were swinging inside to where we could stand
again
Rather than standing I moved back a few feet and
then
let myself fall to the thick straw covering the wooden
floor,
wondering if I'd ever be able to use my arms again,
but the
man I'd been holding onto didn't do the same. Still
breathing
hard he pulled all of the rope inside the window,
and
only then moved away from it to collapse to the straw
the way
I had. I lay there listening to both of us trying to
use up
all the air that world contained, intending to get my
breath
back and then ask a few questions, but my exhaus-
tion
had another idea. Even before the gasping had stopped.
1 fell
asleep.
CHAPTER
9
I awoke
to gray daylight, but the sound of voices kept me
from
sitting up or making any noise at all. At first I
couldn't
remember why it was necessary to be so quiet,
except
that it was often necessary in the days of my
growing
up on the streets, to avoid the owner of the
building
I'd slept in, or members of the city guard on their
rounds.
Then I saw Rikkan ^.ddis just below the open
window,
listening to what was bemg said, and it all came
back.
Before
whoever was outside the barn left, I was able to
notice
that the misty drizzle of the night before had turned
into a
heavy, monotonous rain, and that Rikkan Addis'
rust-colored
leather shirt was no longer on him. Somehow
it had
gotten draped over my back instead, making it
necessary
for only my legs to burrow under the thick
straw-
The rain made the day almost as cold as the night
had
been, and lying there unmoving was no chore at all.
After
the voices had stopped and sounds came of horses
moving
on, my companion took a quick peek out the
window,
then crawled closer to where I was lying.
"That's
twice this place has been checked, and twice
they've
left satisfied we couldn't be here," he said, keep-
ing his
voice low but not whispering. "They know the
locks
can't be opened except with a key, and hoist ropes
are
never allowed to hang free from loft windows. Since
there's
no other way in, we can't be here. And since the
250
SHARON
GREEN
rain
wiped out any tracks we might have left, all they can
do is
ride around in circles, hoping to stumble over us
where
we're hiding in the fields."
"While
we lie safe and comfortable behind locks that
can't
be opened without a key," I said, watching him lean
on his
elbows while I raised up on mine. "What would we
have
done if that rope hadn't been left out accidentally? Or
if they
used those sniffers the small man mentioned the
other
night to track us? Ones, I might add, they may still
use."
"They
can't use their sniffers," he denied with some-
thing
of a grin, his bronze eyes glowing very faintly. "Our
first
visitors were discussing that very point, and cursing
their
luck and the sniffers together. It seems that the
animals
have no trouble picking up my scent, but flatly
refuse
to follow it no matter what their handlers do to try
forcing
or bribing them. Very wise animals, those sniffers,
to know
the difference between legitimate quarry and a
god."
"Anything
that would go after a link-beast would have
to be
crazy," I said with a snort, appreciating the point.
"But
you still haven't said what would have happened if
we
hadn't been lucky enough to find that rope."
"Luck
had nothing to do with it," he answered, a
strange,
soft expression flickering briefly in the eyes that
watched
me. "That rope was left out on purpose, but the
story
will make more sense if I start from the beginning.
"Kadrim,
Zail and I finished off the rest of those na-
tives
as fast as we could, but by then the ones who had
taken
you had too much of a lead for us to catch up with
them.
instead of wasting our time trying, we rode after Su
and
Dranna, and then the five of us sat down to do some
planning.
Kadrim ended up working out most of the de-
tails,
but we all had a hand in putting it together.
"We
spent the rest of the day hiding, then at nightfall
made
our way back to the city. It had been decided not to
take
any unnecessary chances, so Kadrim and Dranna
stayed
with the horses while Su, Zail and I entered the city
on
foot. Su was following the trail of a horse carrying
double,
and, thanks to your friend the wizard, had no
trouble
following it in the dark through the streets of a
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
251
city.
To keep from being seen we practically had to inch
our way
along in the tavern district, but eventually we
reached
the place you'd been taken—a palace it didn't
seem
possible to sneak into. At that point Zail took over
the
lead, and we followed him on a tour around the outside
walls.
"When
he stopped in front of one wall no different from
any of
the others, Su and 1 thought he was giving up. It
was dark
as the inside of a bear on that street, but his
special
talent must have had a treatment like the one Su's
tracking
talent was given. His hand had been moving
along
the blank wall as we walked, and suddenly he was
standing
still and using nothing but that hand. Once it
found
what it was looking for he began using the other
one.
and then both of them were moving together. It was
fairly
clear he thought he'd discovered something, and five
minutes
later he proved he was right. He pressed hard high
up on
the wall, and the door leading to that passage
popped
open. He muttered something about it being a
fairly
simple, fairly obvious bolt-hole, but whatever it
was, it
gave me a way in.
"According
to plan, Zail and Su left to go back to
Kadrim
and Dranna, and I entered the palace alone. I
waited
until 1 knew they had to be'clear of the city, then 1
began
prowling around, following the side passages off the
main
one, trying to pick up your scent. My link-shape
would
have known it if I came anywhere near you, but not
once
did I catch any hint of your presence. After hours of
getting
nowhere 1 took some time out to sleep, then went
to my
alternate plan once I was rested enough to do it. 1
couldn't
find your scent anywhere, but there was another
scent
all around I couldn't miss. The god-king must have
inspected
his secret tunnel on a regular basis, and by
checking
all the doors leading out, I finally found where
he was.
I knew they'd be bringing you to him at some
time.
so watching him seemed the second best way of
locating
you. I listened at the door. stepped out right on
the cue
he gave me, then went on from there.
"Right
now we're following the last of Kadrim's plan,
the
part that was taken care of early last night. Dranna
opened
the locks to let them bring our horses in here. and
SHARON
GREEN
252
while
that was being done the rope was dropped out of the
window.
Leaving one of the locks open would have been
easier
than the rope, but the locks also need a key to close
them,
and without Dranna we wouldn't have been able to
manage
it- We all knew it wouldn't be possible to get you
out of
the city before dark, but we didn't know whether
there
would be pursuit or not. If we'd gotten out in the
clear,
we would have broken a lock, left the stolen horses
here in
exchange for ours, and then would have continued
on to
where we'll be meeting the others. With half the city
looking
for us and daylight not far off, we had to use the
barn as
a hideout- Which is just as well. Are you hungry?"
It so
happened 1 was very hungry, but for some reason 1
wasn't
ready to accept the thought of food. There were
still a
few things to be said, and putting them off was
something
else 1 wasn't ready to do.
"How
did you know their god-king was someone like
you,
someone with a link-shape?" 1 asked, ignoring his
question.
"And how did you know you could beat him?"
"1
didn't know," he said with a very brief hesitation,
shifting
over onto his left side but still keeping his eyes on
me.
"Until I entered that passageway and picked up his
scent,
1 had no idea what he was. I doubt very much that
he was
bom on this world, most likely he came through a
gate
somehow, and then was stranded here. Whether he
came
through insane or became that way because of the
long
years of exile is something else I don't know, but
living
as a god-king certainly impaired his judgment. Just
because
he was still in his prime he thought he could take
me, and
didn't understand until the very end that I was an
active
fighter while his years of action were far behind
him.
Tearing apart helpless, terrified natives isn't the same
as
facing one of your own, especially not in link-shape."
"Then
you came in after me without-having any idea of
what
you'd be facing," 1 summed up, feeling that strange
feeling
of anger and something else that seemed to have
begun
the night before without my being completely aware
of it.
"Without even stopping to think about it you just
came
charging in, determined to have things go your way,
trusting
to luck that you'd find a way to win. You are a
damned
fool!"
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
253
"If
I am, then the honor of the position isn't mine
alone,"
he came back, a sudden annoyance in him as he
watched
me struggle to sitting in the straw. "1 wasn't the
one who
joined a fight against direct orders, a fight that
was
none of my business, and one that got me taken
captive
because I didn't have the good sense to stay out of
it! You
and I will be having a long talk about that once
we're
out of this, but for . . ."
"What
I do or don't do is my own business!" I inter-
rupted
harshly, brushing my straw-decorated hair back
with
one hand. "If I did something to get myself captured
that
was my business, and you had no right interfering'
And
look at you! You were hurt so badly during that fight
that
some of your wounds are only half-healed even after
transition!
Did I ask you to do that for me? Did I? I didn't,
and you
know it, so you had no right doing it!"
I
turned my back on him and hugged myself around,
trying
to stop the clacking of my bead necklace caused by
the
trembling that was only partly due to the cold. If he
had
been killed it would have been my fault, just the way
he'd
said it would be if I kept on disobeying Graythor's
wishes.
He'd had no right risking his life to save me,
especially
not the way he had", especially not after I'd
stranded
us there. Why hadn't he just left me alone, to live
or die
by myself?
"You're
absolutely right," he said after a moment of
silence,
his unexplainably softened voice mixed in with the
sound
of movement in the straw. "You didn't ask me to
save
you, so whatever happened to me was my fault, not
yours.
It was all my own idea, so you can't be blamed.
Here,
you've dropped the shirt I put around you. Maybe
you'd
better get into it before you catch a ..."
"1
don't want the damned shirt!" I flared, turning to
push it
away as he began putting it around my shoulders
again-
"And it was my fault, all of it, for doing something
stupid
and mindless! But you didn't have to make it worse
by
coming after me! You didn't have to do that!"
"As
a matter of fact I did have to," he answered, still
nerve-rackingly
calm, still messing with that shirt. "Here,
slide
your arms in and I'll help you put it over your ..."
I just
couldn't stand any more. 1 made a sound that
SHARON
GREEN
254
couldn't
possibly be translated into words, grabbed the
leather
shirt out of his hands, then started scrambling to
my
feet. I was going to throw that damned shirt out the
window
as far as I could, not giving a damn even if more
natives
rode by and found it. 1 made it to my knees with
the
shirt held tight in my left arm, but somehow he must
have
realized what I intended doing. He surged up and
threw
his arms around me before I could stand, then pulled
me back
down to the straw with him.
"Let
me go!" 1 shouted as I tried to break free, wasting
time
pounding at him with my right fist. "Damn you, let
me
go!"
"Not
until you calm down," he said, having as little
trouble
holding me still as Kadrim had said he would. "I'd
use
Persuasion to help you if 1 could, but you know it
won't
..."
"Help
me!" I nearly screamed, even wilder than I had
been.
"Why would you want to help me? After everything
I said
and did to you, why were you the one to come after
me? It
isn't fair, it just isn't fair!"
"To
me, you mean," he said with the strangest smile,
his
arms holding me tight against him despite the way I
was
struggling. "You said every nasty thing to me you
could
think of, and now I'm the one who risked his life
saving
you. The lack of fairness in that is really bothering
you,
but it shouldn't. I was the one who had to come after
you,
and for the same reason that I was made leader of the
expedition."
"I—don't
understand," I stumbled, also not understand-
ing how
his body and arms could be so warm. It was as
though
the damp wasn't touching him at all, as though a
small,
steady fire burned under his skin.
"It's
perfectly simple," he answered, using one hand to
smooth
my hair, his bronze eyes glowing faintly from the
inner
fire. "When you said I was the only one on this
expedition
who had no true, necessary talent that would
help
retrieve the balance stone, you were absolutely right.
Of the
six of us, I'm the only one who's expendable, the
only
one who doesn't have to survive if the stone is to be
retrieved.
If someone has to die in order for one or more of
me rest
of you to live, that's my job; and since 1 know it
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
255
and
accept it, it's easiest if I'm the one giving the orders
for it.
That's the reason I'm leader of this expedition, and
one of
the reasons why I came after you."
"No,
that can't be true," I whispered, feeling the cold
now
inside me. "Graythor isn't like that, he would never
do
something like that. To send someone along with this
expedition
just so they could die!"
"Only
if it becomes necessary," he corrected me gently,
trying
to hold me closer to stop the trembling that had
started
again. "The rest of you are vital to this quest, so
you
can't be spared. And you can't blame the wizard for
being
practical with something this important. It's a matter
of one
life in exchange for millions."
"No,"
I said again, blinking my eyes against the blurri-
ness,
and then my face was buried in his chest, one way I
didn't
have to look at him. It was my people he was
willing
to give up his life for, a world full of strangers he
didn't
even know, knowledge of the need alone enough to
make
him do it. Useless, I'd called him, and incompetent
and an
imbecile and everything else 1 could think of, and
all the
while he'd— I hid my face to keep from looking at
him,
and wished I could hide my shame in a deep, deep
pit.
"Come
on now, it isn't as bad as you're picturing it,"
he said
in a coaxing way, stroking my hair again. "There's
nothing
to say that I will die, and the position has benefits
as well
as drawbacks. I got to rescue the prettiest sorceress
1 ever
met, didn't I? And at the cost of nothing more than
a few
scratches? And—before anything was done to hurt
her?"
The
questioning in his voice showed he was at it again,
worrying
about someone else instead of himself. I couldn't
understand
how it was possible to be that selfless, but I no
longer
had the least doubt that he was. Or that 1 was as far
. from
it as you can get and still pretend to be human.
"I
can't tell you how small and ashamed I feel," I
whispered,
raising my head to look at him. "No matter
what
you say, we both know that you will die, just the way
InThig
did. I never got the chance to tell it I was sorry for
what
I'd said, and if it happened twice I don't think I
could
stand it. I was wrong to treat you the way I did, and
256
SHARON
GREEN
I
really am sorry. And I'm sorry you had to get hurt
helping
someone who doesn't deserve any help. 1 promise
1*11
miss you almost as much as I miss InThig."
I put
my head down again, feeling so miserable that
crying
would have been something of a step upward. I
didn't
know what had made me tell him about how i felt
over
InThig's loss, it had just seemed to come out, but if
I'd had
to tell anyone it should have been Rik. InThig had
liked
Rik, and I—I had loved InThig.
"It's
nice to know I'll be missed when I'm gone," Rik
said in
an odd murmur, almost as though he were trying to
keep
from sounding amused. "And almost as much as
InThig.
That's quite a compliment, and it was worth a few
scratches
to hear it. But you still haven't said whether or
not I
got to you before they hurt you. Did I?"
"They
didn't do anything but put me in this stupid
costume,"
1 said raising my head again. "Not that it
would
have made any difference even if they had."
"It
would have made a difference to me," he said very
firmly,
his bronze eyes glowing as his fingers wiped at my
cheek.
"If they'd hurt you, I would have done a little
more
than simply turning their god into a rug. And as far as
that
costume goes, 1 don't think it's stupid at all. If you
want
the truth, I find it very—appealing."
"You
wouldn't find it that appealing if you were the
one who
had to wear it," I came back, feeling the sudden
flush
in my cheeks. "I feel stupid, and naked—not to
mention
cold."
"No,
I don't think I'd find it very appealing if I were
the one
who had to wear it," he agreed, showing a faint
grin.
"It's too bad we don't have anything else for you to
wear,
but maybe we can do something about your being
cold.
Is this any better?"
He had gathered
me even closer than he'd been holding
me
before, and was looking down into my eyes in a way
that
made me feel very strange. Outside the rain dripped
and
dripped, making the air damp and chill, but the circle
of his
arms wasn't letting it touch me. Only his warmth
was
touching me, and his wide, strong hands holding me
close.
"I
nearly went mad when I thought they might be
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
257
hurting
you," he said, his hand stroking my hair again, his
voice
very soft. "I swore to myself that I'd beat you for an
hour if
I ever got you out of that place in one piece, and I
think
you'll agree now that you deserve that beating. Don't
you."
His
eyes refused to let mine go, and although I squirmed
a
little, I couldn't completely deny what he'd said. It had
been a
number of years since I'd been responsible to
anyone
but myself, but back in the days I had been,
Morgiana
and Uncle Graythor would have seen to it that a
beating
was the least of what I got.
"If
we ever get back, are you going to tell Graythor
what I
did?" I asked, beginning to feel upset again. "I
know
we'll probably be trapped here forever, but if some-
how we
do manage to get back—will you tell him?"
"Is
there any reason I shouldn't?" he countered, his
expression
shifting very slightly to one I couldn't read.
"He
told me that you usually call him uncle, and that he
cares
for you as much as you care for him. Don't you
think
he's entitled to know what almost happened to you?"
"But
it will just get him upset for nothing," 1 objected,
having
no trouble picturing Graythor's "upset." Until
you've
seen a wizard of his caliber really angry, you
haven't
seen anything. "If you like "you can—beat me the
way you
said you wanted to, just as long as you don't say
anything."
"To
keep the wizard from getting upset," he murmured
with a
nod, and this time 1 was certain he was amused.
"I'm
sure he would really appreciate being considered like
that,
but you're giving me something of a problem. You
see, the
urge to beat you has passed."
"Passed,"
I echoed, now feeling more ill than upset. I
was
sure we weren't going to get out of there, but what if
we did.
. . ?
"Of
course, mere might be something we could substi-
tute
for the beating," he said thoughtfully, now toying
with my
hair. "You probably won't like it much, and if
you
don't I can't blame you, but—"
"What?"
I asked when he let the words trail off, put-
ting
one hand to his arm. "If you have a suggestion, at
least
let me hear it."
2cg SHARON GREEN
"Well,
there has been something I've wanted to do ever
since
we first met," he said, bringing his eyes back to
mine.
"I'm sure you won't find it pleasant, but if you
really
want to save the wizard all that worry ..."
"Go—go
ahead," I managed, having no real idea what
he
intended, but still anxious to get it over with. It would
probably
hurt, or be disgusting, or maybe just be ex-
tremely
distasteful. I thought I had braced myself against
just
about anything, but I still felt shocked and surprised
when he
put a big hand to my face, raised it to his, and
then
kissed me.
People
kept saying I was innocent, and maybe I hadn't
been
kissed very much, and maybe I didn't know why his
kiss
was so different from Zail's— Oh, Hellfire, I didn't
know
anything but the fact that I was being kissed, gently
but
very deeply, so deeply that I could feel it all the way
through
me. His arms held me to the warmth of his body,
one of
his hands behind my head, his lips kissing mine in a
way 1
could only feel, not describe. It went on until my
head
swam, until I thought I was going to faint, but when
it
ended it felt as though it hadn't lasted any time at all.
"That's—that's
what you wanted to do?" I asked as
soon as
I could, which wasn't really very soon. He was
still
holding me in his arms, and my entire body felt as
though
it were tingling.
"Ever
since I first saw you," he agreed, those eyes
watching
me again. "Considering how you feel about me
it must
have been pretty awful for you, but don't forget it
was
done in a good cause. Now the wizard won't be given
any
unnecessary worry,"
"No,
he won't," I said, trying to gather together my
thoughts
from where they'd been scattered to. "But—that
was just
one kiss. Maybe—since it's Graythor—maybe
you
should take another, just to be sure you don't acciden-
tally
say anything, just to be certain the payment balances
against
the favor."
"You
know, that sounds like a good idea," he said with
a very
soft smile, somehow understanding what I'd meant
despite
the babbly, scattered way it had come out. "Just to
be on
the safe side."
And
then he kissed me again, but there was nothing
THE PAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
259
repetitive
or boring about the effort. It felt as though his
kiss
would be something new and wonderful even if he
kissed
me a thousand million times, and all I wanted to do
was
float away to the place it took me and stay there
forever.
I expected it to go on and on, but suddenly he
broke
it off and sat up away from me.
"I
think that's all there had better be of that," he said in
a
mutter, running one hand through his hair. "Let's find
something
to talk about instead, or better yet, something to
argue
about. Arguing is probably the best thing we can
do."
"But
I don't want to argue with you," I protested,
sitting
up and wrapping my arms around myself against the
chill
his letting me go had allowed back. "Rik, I didn't
think
I'd ever say this, but I—enjoyed—having you kiss
me.
Didn't—you—enjoy it?"
"
'Enjoyed it' isn't the proper phrase," he said, turning
his
head to look at me with a faint, humorless smile.
"Laciel,
it was fun talking you into kissing me, but it
moved
beyond fun faster than I thought it would. I sup-
pose I
should have known—it was really stupid to go even
that
far—to steal a kiss like a cub after his first transition—
Damn
it, do you have any idea what I'm talking about?"
"Not
really." I said, trying not to^hiver from how cold
I was,
"All I know is that I want you to kiss me again.
And you
promised to keep me warm. Tell me why you
can't
kiss me again and keep me warm."
He
stared at me in silence for a very long moment,
something
like pain in the expression in his eyes, a pain I
couldn't
understand. Then he sighed, a sound of defeat if I
ever
heard one, but somehow I felt the defeat wasn't mine.
When he
came back to fold me in his arms again, I
became
certain of it.
"Ever
since I joined this quest, my word has become
worthless,"
he murmured as he kissed me lightly, softly, a
faint
self-disgust in his tone.' 'I promised myself I wouldn't
do
this, and now look at me."
"I
don't want to look at you," I murmured back,
returning
his kisses and giving a few of my own. "What I
want to
do is kiss you, and have you kiss me, and— Oh,
Rik!
Stop worrying and just do it!"
260
SHARON GREEN
He
looked down at me with those glowing, bronze eyes,
shook
his head slightly as he smiled, then went ahead and
did it.
I have
no idea how much time passed, but afterward I
lay
comfortably in his arms, satisfied, contented, fulfilled,
happy—every
positive word there is. Rik had made love
to me,
beautiful love, giving me something I hadn't known
it was
possible to have. He'd been nothing but gentle—and
yet he
hadn't been gentle at all—or maybe gentle when he
had to
be, and not when it wasn't called for. I shook my
head
against his chest over the confusion I felt—and over
me
confusion that had magically, literally magically, melted
away.
"Arc
you regretting it already?" he asked, one hand to
my hair
to show he meant the headshake. "Was that a 'no,
I'm
sorry I did it', or a *no, I'm not sorry I did it'?"
"Definitely
a 'no, I'm not sorry I did it'," I told him
with an
inner smile, but the smile faded rather quickly.
"You
asked me earlier if I was hungry; does that mean
there's
food around here somewhere?"
"Nothing
but more rabbit, but it should keep us from
starving,"
he answered, patting my back to ask me to sit
up-
"Hold on a minute, and I'll get it."
He
stood up and headed for me other side of the loft,
and I
located his leather shirt and put it on. My bead
necklace
was gone in me straw somewhere, and I really
didn't
expect to miss it. While I waited I began pulling the
straw
out of my hair, knowing I was going to have to give
him an
explanation, but having no idea where to start. If I
waited
until we'd eaten something it would give me a
chance
to pull my thoughts together, to figure out what to
say.
After we ate, it would be a good deal easier.
After
we ate it was not easier. He had come back with a
leather
package of rabbit and a large jar of water, the
containers
most likely the result of pilfering in the city,
and had
grinned to see what I looked like in his shirt. The
thing
was about five sizes too large for me, and I'd had to
roil
the sleeves up to find my hands. We shared the rabbit
and
then the water, and then I had no further excuses to
keep
quiet.
THE PAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 26l
"Are
you sure you don't mind my wearing this shirt?" I
asked
as a compromise beginning, the subject having noth-
ing to
do with what I really wanted to say. "If you're cold
I'll be
glad to . . ."
"No,
no, I'm not cold at all," he denied immediately,
those
eyes on me in a way mat said he was telling the
truth.
"Unless you're offering to share it, just forget about
it.
"I didn't want to mention this sooner, but I can see
something's
bothering you. Would you like to tell me what
it
is?"
"Not
really, but I suppose I have no choice," I mut-
tered,
then sat straighter in the straw to look directly at
him.
"It seems I owe you another apology, one I didn't
know I
owed you. I've been blaming you for something
you had
nothing to do with, but 1 didn't know that—and
didn't
even realize I was blaming you."
"Now
I understand completely," he said with a judicious
nod,
leaning down to his left elbow on the other side of the
leather
we'd used as a table. "I didn't do it, but you were
blaming
me anyway, and now you're not blaming me any
more.
Are you sure 1 didn't do it?"
"Positive,"
I answered, not quite up to responding to
his
teasing. "I would have hnown it sooner if I hadn't
been
under a spell, but Morgiana was trying to protect me,
to let
me live as normal a life as possible. It wasn't
entirely
normal, but I didn't know that until we began this
quest.
The spell was also the reason I could never remem-
ber
that nightmare."
I
looked down at my hands, not nearly as together as I
was
trying to sound, but also not as shattered as I might
once
have been. I had me memory now and it was an
appalling
one, but it was also softened by the passage of
years
and considerably more bearable for not having been
dwelt
on. And for being seen in the light of normality.
That
had been the key, of course, and if it hadn't been for
Rik ...
I couldn't bring myself to look up at him again,
but his
patient silence encouraged me to begin the story.
"I
grew up living on the streets, with a pack of other
kids,
and even after I'd begun to trust Morgiana, I still
couldn't
talk to her about what a lot of it had been like.
Most
people consider the city Guard their protectors, for
262
SHARON GREEN
instance,
but we were some of the ones they were protect-
ing
people from. Usually if they caught you, you just got a
beating
with their belts, but if you were a boy and old
enough,
the army garrison was usually in need of recruits,
or
maybe the merchant fleet. If you were a girl and old
enough,
there were certain—houses—that paid for their
own
kind of recruits. Because of that there weren't many
packs
with older kids in mem, but there were still a
few. .
. .
"Morgiana
made it a policy never to pry, but after the
second
or third time I'd had the nightmare she put me
under a
compulsion and made me tell her about it. It had
happened
not long before she'd found me, and 1 hadn't
been
able to just bury it along with all the other ugly,
dirty
things that had happened to me. We—we had found a
warehouse
with a back door whose lock was broken, and I
had
decided mat we had to risk sleeping there. The fact
that it
wasn't abandoned made it dangerous, but I was sure
it
would snow that night and some of my pack weren't
strong
enough to survive sleeping in an alleyway in a
snowstorm.
Once it was dark we slipped inside, then
found a
place behind some sacks where we wouldn't be
easily
seen.
"We
woke up suddenly in the small hours of the morn-
ing,
knowing we weren't alone, but also knowing the
newcomers
were intruders rather than legitimate visitors.
There
was a lot of moving around but no conversation, and
only
one torch had been lit. We hid behind our sacks and
tried
not to make any noise of our own, understanding at
last
why me lock on the back door had been broken, but
we'd
chosen the wrong hiding place. The intruders weren't
taking
everything they could on a random basis, they had
certain
specific items they wanted, and when they began
moving
the sacks, they found us.
"I
suppose you could say that we all knew each other
and be
right, but until then our paths had crossed only at a
distance,
never close up. They were a pack of older boys
who had
managed to avoid the Guard long enough to
establish
certain 'connections' in the city, and that night
they were
acting for their major connection. They knew
we
wouldn't—and couldn't—go to the Guard about what
r'
i?
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 263
we'd
seen, that we were no threat to them at all as long as
we got
out of there fast and melted back into the gutters,
so they
decided to—show us how low down on the ladder
we
were, and how untouchably important they had be-
come.
Pack status was an important part of life to those of
us who
lived it, and until then the status of my pack had
been
fairly high."
When I
paused in the narration 1 became aware of the
fact
that Rik had moved closer to me, but he still wasn't
saying
anything and he wasn't touching me. My gaze had
shifted
to the brown cloth panel I still wore, and I had no
interest
in moving it elsewhere.
"When
I realized they were going to do something to
us,"
I continued, "I stood up and told the leader of the
other
pack that I was willing to face him with challenge
sticks.
He was a lot bigger than anyone I had faced until
then, but
that didn't frighten me. I was big, and strong,
and no
one had ever been able to best me in a challenge.
which
was why the status of our pack was so high. Their
leader
laughed at me, a deliberate insult, and then he came
closer
and grabbed me. I fought him with all my strength,
strength
that had, until mat minute, been totally adequate,
but it
proved to be completely impossible to make him let
me go.
He let me struggle and fight against him until 1
knew
without doubt who was stronger, and then he threw
me down
to the dirty wooden floor and—hurt me."
I had
to stop again at that point, feeling the terror and
shame
all over again, but I also discovered there was now a
lot
more anger in me than there had been. I wasn't fright-
ened I
was furious, and if I ever faced that animal again,
my
challenge to him would not involve sticks.
"I
wasn't me only one of the pack they hurt that way,
and
what was worse, most of my pack were boys," 1 went
on with
a sigh. "When they were through with us they
threw
us out into the quietly falling snow, then went on
about
their business. I think every one of us must have
been in
shock, and when morning came I discovered that
half
the pack had disappeared, and none of them ever
came
back. Over the next few days the rest of us drifted
apart,
trying to forget what had happened by surrounding
ourselves
with people who didn't know, I suppose, or
264
SHARON
GREEN
trying
to find places that wouldn't scream at us silently in
the
night. ... I knew I should try to find the one who did
that to
us and challenge him in public where he couldn't
refuse,
but the days went by and I couldn't quite force
myself
to do it, and then Morgiana found me, and that's
all
there was to it. I was out of it, but I still wasn't able to
forget."
"I—don't
think 1 understand where I come into all
that,"
Rik said, his voice decidedly odd. When I looked
up at
him I saw a look in his eyes I'd never seen before, a
rage
that would have seemed more at home in the eyes of
his link-shape.
"I grew up with my family in a close,
pleasant
community, where nothing even remotely like—
that—ever
happened. If it had, we probably would have
torn
the scum apart."
'The
leader of that older pack was a lot bigger than
me,"
I said with another sigh, wondering how you ex-
plained
something like that diplomatically. "He was also
dark-haired,
and had brown eyes that were rather strange.
There
was a lot of red in me brown, like nothing any of us
had
ever seen before, almost as though they were—"
"Bronze,"
he finished when I didn't, finally under-
standing
all of it. "Every time you looked at me, all you
could
think of was—him."
"And
I didn't even know I was doing it," I agreed,
wishing
his anger would come back to replace the hurt
look
now visible in his stare. "Morgiana put a spell on
me,
making me forget that night and everything that went
with
it. That's why people would say things to me that
passed
right over my head, and why I was so convinced I
was as
strong or stronger than anyone around me, even
men. If
I'd started thinking about things or doubting them,
I might
have been able to break me spell and get to the
truth—before
I was meant to. Morgiana wanted me to
know
normal love before 1 remembered about hate and
hurt,
and once I did, the spell dissolved itself."
"I
have to admit I was wondering," he said, carefully
putting
his hand out to touch mine. "You're certainly old
enough
to have had experience, but everything you said or
did
since the quest began pointed toward your being inno-
cent.
Not to mention the fact that your response to me
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
indicated
the same. I was surprised when reality didn't
match."
"But
of course I'm not innocent," 1 said with a small
laugh,
taking his hand hard to show that I saw nothing
wrong
in touching him. "You have no idea how tired I am
of
hearing people say 1 am. What was it you were wonder-
ing and
surprised about?"
He
looked at me sharply for a moment, just as though
he
thought I was joking about something, and then he
seemed
to be working very hard not to laugh.
"Let's
discuss that some other time," he said, putting
his arm
around me to draw me closer. "Right now I'd like
to
spend some time being glad the mix-up is straightened
out- We
have a lot of hours to wait before it gets dark."
He bent
his head to kiss me, and I found I'd been right
in
believing his kiss would be brand new every time- I
started
to enjoy it the way I had the first time—and then
discovered
that something was bothering me.
"If
you get bored and distracted that easily, I think I'm
in
trouble," Rik said suddenly, the kiss having ended
without
my noticing it. "I've never seen anyone walk
away
like that without moving her body."
"Something
about what happened is bothering me," I
said
with a small flush of embarrassment for the way he
was
looking at me, making my usual mess when I tried
explaining
about something I'd done. "Something is wrong,
and 1
can't figure out what it is."
"Of
course you're bothered by what happened," he
said,
immediately concerned, his arm tightening around
me.
"How could you not be bothered? And there's noth-
ing
wrong any more, so you don't have to . . ."
"No,
no, not that," I interrupted, impatient with being
fussed
over but trying not to show it, "There's something
about
Morgiana's spell that doesn't make sense, but I
can't
seem to figure out what it is. It was a perfectly
straightforward,
selective forget-spell, so what could be
wrong
with it?"
"You're
asking me?" he said with a snort of amuse-
ment,
taking his arm back before lying flat in the straw. "1
may
know more about magic than the others, but I don't
have
the necessary equipment to be involved with spells.
266
SHARON
GREEN
Didn't
it work right? Or didn't it all leave you when it
should
have?"
"It
seemed to work right," I said, leaning my elbows
on my
folded legs as I prodded mentally at the problem.
"And
as far as I know it all left me when it should have.
Of
course there's no way of knowing if it all left me, not
until
or unless the rest of it goes, if there is any rest of
it—"
I broke
off and sat very still, finally seeing what had
bothered
me, but it still didn't make any sense. Or maybe I
should
say it made even less sense after I was able to see it
clearly.
"Rik,
the spell lasted as long as it was supposed to,
then it
dissolved the way it was supposed to," I said,
looking
at him where he lay in the straw. "How do you
suppose
it managed to do that?"
He
opened his mouth, probably to say he didn't know,
and
then he closed it again with a frown and sat up slowly
in the
straw.
"As
I understand it, a spell has to be maintained by the
one who
cast it," he said thoughtfully, thumbing through
his
memories. "As long as the Sighted is in the same
world
with you, the spell won't weaken or dissolve. If you
leave
that world or the Sighted does, the spell is immedi-
ately
canceled—unless it's been cast over somethmg inani-
mate
and has been made self-sustaining."
1 'Or
unless the Sighted has given the job of maintenance
to
someone else," I added with a nod for the rest of what
he'd
said- "Now, Morgiana traveled more than I did, but
I've
spent some time on worlds other than my own, and
there
were occasions when we were both away at the same
time.
If her forget-spell needed to be maintained, who was
doing
the maintaining?"
"Who
was around when she wasn't?" he countered
with a
small shrug. "Isn't it possible the wizard had
something
to do with it? If he was there as often as he said
while
you were growing up . . ."
"Rik,
the forget-spell worked perfectly, and dissolved
exactly
on cue," I reminded him. "Look around you,
Who's
the only one who was around then—and is also
here
now?"
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 267
"But
I thought you said you couldn't See," he pro-
tested,
looking as unsettled as I felt. "If this world doesn't
allow
magic, how could you have been maintaining a
spell?"
"That's
what I'd like to know," I muttered, looking
hard at
the inside wall of the bam. All I saw was rough,
shadowy
wood and braces, nothing that had to be Seen.
"Morgiana
obviously set up her spell to be maintained by
my
talent, but how can a talent maintain something when
that
talent isn't there?"
"And
yet, it has to be there." he said, straightening
with
frustration where he sat. "I hadn't noticed it sooner,
but
your forget-spell hasn't been the only spell which was
maintained.
Dranna hasn't forgotten how to ride a horse
since
we came through the gate, Su can stilt follow any
trail
she wants to follow, and Zail's finding that secret way
into
the palace seemed to be more man ordinary ability.
The
wizard had to set up his own spells with you as the
one
maintaining them, otherwise they wouldn't have con-
tinued
past the first gate. That means I was right, and there
is a
way off this world involving magic!"
"You
hope." I grumbled, not yet willing to share his
bright-eyed—or
glowing-eyed—*enthusiasm. "If you can't
See a
gate you can't use it, and all I-'m Seeing right now is
a dim
barn and soggy landscape. There's still no guarantee
we won
*t end up fanning next to those small, quiet people.''
"Well,
if that turns out to be true, I can always accept
the
earlier job offer made me," he said, leaning back into
the
straw again with a grin. "Rikkan the First, god-king of
the
world. If you're a good girl, I might even let you join
my
harem. Provided you keep dressing like mat, of course.''
His
grin widened and he began chuckling at the blush I
could
feel spreading all over me, even the parts that were
covered.
The problem was there were too many parts
wicovered,
and Rikkan the First was enjoying the view.
Blushing,
no matter how furious, has never been known to
bum
anything, but every now and then it gets hot enough
to
start a small fire.
"Oh,
I don't mink you'd enjoy having me in your
harem,"
I said with what I hoped was deceptive mildness,
also
hoping he didn't see how deep my hands were going
268
SHARON
GREEN
in the
straw as I leaned toward him. *'If I ever find myself
in that
position, I'll consider it my duty to teach every
other
woman there to call you—'fearless leader'!"
With
the last two words I picked up all the straw I could
and
threw it at him, catching him, as I'd thought I would,
right
in the face as he began to sit up. 1 laughed as he
sputtered
and batted his way through the storm, certain he
would
be glad that wasn't used straw he was in the middle
of, but
the laughing slowed when I was finally able to see
his
expression.
"That
was very fanny," he said, wiping at his face one
last
time before starting to shift to his knees. "Especially
the
part about what you were going to call me. Tell me,
what
was that name again?"
Not
being an idiot, 1 was already sliding back in the
straw
away from him. trying to get enough distance be-
tween
us to let me climb to my feet, but it wasn't working.
He had
more experience than most in moving on all fours,
and
even in human form he was faster at it than anyone
had a
right to be. I finally tried to scramble up and make a
break
for it, but two wide, bare arms closed around me,
and 1
didn't go anywhere but back down to the straw. I
tried
once again to fight my way loose, but Kadrim had
definitely
been right: Rik was even stronger than the red-
headed
boy-man.
"You
can't afford to even come close to murdering
me,"
I pointed out over my shoulder as 1 squirmed use-
lessly
in his grip, fairly well pleased with the inarguable
logic
mat had occurred to me. "If you're right about
magic
being able to get us off mis world, I'm the only one
who
might have it."
"Oh,
1 would never murder you," he came back much
too
easily, and then I was on my back between his knees.
my
wrists swallowed up in his hands. "It's just that being
called
that name does something strange to me. Part of that
something,
oddly enough, is that I suddenly feel as though
I'm
improperly out of uniform. I think I'll need my shirt
back
now."
"Oh,
Rik, no!" I gasped, really upset, finding it impos-
sible
to get my wrists loose. "Please don't take your shirt
back!
There's nothing else for me to wear!"
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 269
"But
leaders are expected to be properly dressed," he
countered,
shifting his grip to hold both of my wrists in his
right
hand. "I would say mat goes double or triple for—
certain
kinds—of leaders. Other leaders, of course, don't
have to
bother with that sort of convention."
"Oh,
don't!" I pleaded as his free hand went to the
bottom
of the shirt, obviously prepared to begin taking it
off me.
It fit like a thigh-length tunic, loose and very much
too
short, but still about a thousand times better than that
stupid
costume they'd put me into. And half of the cos-
tume,
the wide, bead necklace, was lost in the straw
somewhere!
"Well,
you really do have to remember that you were
the one
who first named me mat—certain kind—of leader,"
he
said, paying a lot of attention to the way his hand was
slowly
pushing the shirt up. "You're also the only one
who
keeps on calling me that. My, my, this costume they
put you
in really is brief, isn't it?"
"All
right, I apologize!" I blurted, finally admitting I
was
beaten. "I'm sorry I called you fearless leader, and I
won't
do it again! I promise! Please don't take the shirt
back'"
"I'm
sorry, but I'm afraid Proissed part of what you just
said,"
he responded with a faint grin, raising those bronze
eyes to
my face as I squirmed helplessly in his grip. "I
think
you'd better say it again. All of it."
"I
said I'm—sorry for calling you fearless leader," 1
repeated
after swallowing, very much aware of the fact
that he
hadn't yet taken his hand away from the shirt. "I
also
said I—promise not to do it again."
"Now,
that's a good girl," he approved with a wider
grin,
raising my arms out of the way so he might lean
down
closer to me. "1 accept your apology and your
promise,
but I think you ought to offer me a kiss to bind
the
agreement. What do you say?"
What
could I say? With absolutely no choice in the
matter
I raised my face to his, but after a minute I was no
longer
thinking about choices. His lips were soft and
warm,
the sensations I felt incredible, and I realized that
he'd
freed my wrists only when 1 found my hands touching
his
back. I wanted to touch him very much right then, just
270
SHARON GREEN
the way
he was touching me. In a little while I lost the
shirt
after all, but at that point I didn't mind a bit.
When it
was over I lay very close to Rik, his arms still
around
me, listening to the soft sound of his breathing as
he
slept. It felt so unbelievably good to be held that way,
and if
it hadn't been likely to wake him 1 would have
kissed
and stroked his face.
"If
you ever do end up in my harem, you won't have to
worry
about keeping your promise," he'd whispered be-
fore
making love to me again, his lips warm against my
ear.
"If 1 ever have a harem, you'll be the only one in it."
He'd
chuckled at my blush of pleasure, and then we'd
gone on
to something much more wonderful than chuck-
ling or
blushing. Making plans or promises for the future
right
then would have been stupid, but as I delighted in his
warmth
I suddenly found myself very eager for the quest
to be
over, and not only out of concern for the people of
my
world. Rik had said he didn't have to die in order for
us to
succeed, and I very much wanted to believe that.
Something
else I had decided to believe was that we would
find a
way off that world, and I would do everything I
could
to help. If my talent was still maintaining spells, and
there
was no doubt that it was, then—
That
line of thought broke off very abruptly when an-
other,
very obvious one came to take its place, and. sud-
denly
the cold and damp moved in despite the warmth I
was
surrounded by. There was another spell involved on
that
quest, one I'd thought was being renewed every time
we
passed through a gate, but that would have been the
hard
way of doing it. As a sorceress I had enough strength
to
maintain a dozen spells without even noticing it, and the
enemy
had taken advantage of that. Rik hadn't made love
to me
because he wanted to, but because he was under the
same
spell Zail and Kadrim were.
I moved
very slightly in the strong arms holding me,
wishing
I could get up and go somewhere else, somewhere
it was
possible to hide. When we'd first started that quest,
Rik
hadn't even liked me; how could I have forgotten mat
so
completely mat I'd almost begun falling in love with
him? Of
course, I hadn't fallen in love with him, that
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 271
^ would have been idiotic, but I still
felt very much a fool
'i for having come so close. And how could
1 have forgotten
|f about Dranna? She really liked Rik, and
if I'd been an
| idiot, she would have been very hurt.
It wasn't as hard to
H hurt other people as it was to hurt
roe, and I'd almost
§ forgotten that.
} Rik chuckled in his sleep and turned
to his back, in the
^ process opening his arms and letting me
go. I moved away
'^ from him slowly, for some strange
reason almost reluctant
to go,
and that was really stupid. Once the quest was over
I'd be
able to get Graythor's help in canceling whatever
spells
I was unknowingly maintaining, or I could simply
step
through a gate alone. That would put an end to the
•: spell, and then Rik would be back to
feeling about me the
^ way he had to begin with. If I'd been
silly enough to fall
in love
with him, I would have found myself there all
alone.
!, Just a few steps away I came across
a rust-colored
^ leather shirt, lying discarded in the
straw, and bent slowly
S, to pick it up. Being more than half
naked and very cold I
t really needed to put it on, but instead
I took it with me
^ behind two bales of hay, then simply
sat holding it to me
for a
very long time. h-
^ It was almost dark when Rik finally
woke, so we fin-
1ished
what was left of the rabbit and water, then climbed
down
from the loft to get our horses ready. Rik hadn't said
;. much but he'd seemed—contented,
somehow, his eyes
^ glowing with a fierce pleasure mat had
nearly made the
rest of
him glow as well. I felt very sorry for him, then,
|f knowing how foolish he'd feel once the
spell was gone,
H but I didn't say any more to him about
it than I had to
Kadrim
and Zail. People under a spell like that find it
impossible
to think clearly, and all any of them would
have
done was argue-
"We'll
be meeting the others in those woods," Rik said
once
the horses were saddled, patting his roan before
going
toward one of the barn walls to peer through a
crack.
He was wearing his sword again, but I still had his
shirt.
"Su told me that the trail didn't seem to go on very
far
past where we had that fight."
272
SHARON GREEN
"Is
it still raining?" I asked, glad to have my gray back
but not
looking forward to climbing into his saddle with
what I
was wearing.
"Yes
it is, and we can use the cover," he answered,
still
looking out. "If the weather was better we'd be
knee-deep
in natives, instead of only seeing their patrols
and
search parties from a distance. After what you've been
through
you must be eager to get back to the others, to tell
them
you're all right, and all about what happened to you.
Then we
can tell them something together."
Together.
Of course he didn't know what he was saying,
so I
couldn't blame him for how—impatient and annoyed
his
comment made me feel. But I did have to change his
mind,
and thought I knew just the way to do it.
*'0h,
you don't have to help me thank Zail for finding
mat
secret passage," I said, carefully misinterpreting what
he'd
said. "What he did was absolutely wonderful, and
I'm
looking forward to thanking him all by myself."
"You're—going
to thank Zail," he repeated, still facing
the
wall but giving me the impression he wasn't looking
out any
longer- "You're—looking forward to thanking
him?"
"Certainly,"
I said with a small laugh, turning away
from
the stiffened back near the wall to stroke my gray's
nose.
"He and I haven't had much luck in managing to be
alone
together, but this should be a good excuse to finally
make it
happen. He wants to marry me, you know, and he
comes
from an old and wealthy family. Morgiana would
make a
terrible fuss if he didn't,"
"But
what about—" he began, sounding terribly hurt,
but
then he broke it off to stand silent for a moment. When
he
spoke again, he seemed to have regained control of
himself.
"But what about Kadrim?" he asked, as though
that
was what he'd meant to say all along. "Won't Kadrim
be—disappointed?''
"Kadrim
is a good friend, but I don't love him," I
answered,
still looking only at my gray. "You really
shouldn't
marry someone you don't love, don't you think?"
"Yes,
as a matter of fact, I do," he said in what was
nearly
a monotone, and then didn't say anything else. His
hurt
was so strong I could almost feel it where I stood, but
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
273
once
the spell was gone he'd be glad he hadn't made a fool
of
himself by announcing all sorts of idiotic things. He'd
be much
happier then—just the way I was.
As soon
as it was completely dark, Rik broke one of the
door
locks and we left the barn. We walked our horses
through
the field to make sure they didn't step in some-
thing
and hurt themselves, but when we reached the side
of the
road we were able to pick up a little speed. The rain
was
still coming down rather heavily and I felt soaked
through
and miserable, but anything was better than staying
in that
barn- The need to be off that world was growing
larger
and larger inside me, demanding my attention to the
extent
that I now had an idea of sorts. 1 didn't know if it
would
work, but the only way to find out was to try it.
We
reached the stand of woods and passed the place
where
the fight had happened, and a little farther down the
road we
saw four shadows come out of the trees to meet
us. I
hugged Su and Dranna, not realizing until right then
how
much I'd missed them, and Rik accepted Kadrim and
Zail's
enthusiastic congratulations with quiet words. We
were
all back together again, and it was time to try my
idea.
"Su,
I want you to follow thfr trail," I said as soon as
everyone
had finished greeting us. "Follow the trail until
you
can't see it any more, and then stop."
"Don't
know what good that'll do," she answered with
a shrug
that was agreement rather man refusal. "Unless
something's
changed and you can See now."
"No,
nothing's changed," I said with a headshake of
frustration.
"I have an idea that probably won't work, but
it's
still worth trying. Which way do we go?"
Su
indicated the road we stood beside, and then led off
without
any further comment. It was a beautiful night for a
ride,
cold, rainy, dark and slippery, and after a number of
endless
minutes one nearly-drowned person led five others
to a
place on the road and then stopped.
"Trail
stops Just ahead," Su announced, blotting at her
face
briefly with her sleeve. "First time it didn't go off by
itself
first, into the woods or over a hill. This time it stops
right
smack in the middle of the road."
"And
the horses aren't reacting to the presence of a
274
SHARON
GREEN
gate,"
I observed, watching them shake their heads in
annoyance
at the rain, but otherwise showing no objection
to
continuing straight ahead. "I doubt if anyone on this
entire
world can See, not even the animals, and that's why
the
gate, if it's there, wasn't avoided like the ones on other
worlds.
Well, all we can do is try it."
"What
is it we're going to try?" Zail asked, dismount-
ing
with the others when I did. The ground seemed to be
pure
mud covered with four or five inches of water, and
standing
in it barefoot made me wonder how Su walked
around
like mat all the time.
"We're
going to try to get through the gate," I an-
swered,
forcing my teeth not to chatter from me icy-cold
water 1
was standing in. "It's true that if you can't See a
gate
you can't use it. but there are two reasons for (hat,
and the
first is fairly obvious: if you can't See it, how do
you
tell where it is? The second reason, of course, has to
do with
the ability to do magic: if you can't See, you don't
have the
talent, and without the talent you can't open a
gate
even if you happen to know where it is. The lack of
Seeing
traps you all the way around."
' 'Then
for what reason do we stand here courting serious
illness?"
Kadrim asked, a question they all seemed to
have.
"For what reason do we not return to our encamp-
ment
till the rain has gone, and then ride out to begin the
conquest
of this worid?"
"We're
here because although I can't See, I've recently
discovered
that my magical talent is still operating to some
extent,"
I explained, finding it impossible not to shiver
where I
stood. "If there's any luck in this world at all, that
gate
ought to open as soon as I get near it, whether or not 1
can See
it doing it. We know where it is because Su can
see
where me trail ends, so we're going to pretend it's no
different
from any other gate and just go ahead and use
it."
"But
what if it doesn't work?" Dranna asked in me
wide-eyed
silence my explanation had produced in the
others,
sounding as bedraggled as 1 felt- "What if we try it
and
still don't go anywhere?"
"Then
we go some place and wait for the rain to stop,
then
spend some time nursing our pneumonia," I an-
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
275
swered,
trying not to blame her for being as disbelieving
as I
had been. "We can worry about that once we've
failed,
but we have to try before we can fail. Let's get to
it."
Standing
there arguing in the pouring, dripping rain
wasn't
something any of us were dying to continue, so we
quickly
got down to business. I had Su position me in the
place I
usually stood in relation to a gate before we entered
it,
using me end of the trail as a guide, and then I took
her
hand and Kadrim's. The others stood by holding the
horses,
ready to move fast if it worked, and I wondered
briefly
if 1 were the only one holding my breath. I got as
good a
grip on wet hands as I possibly could, silently
cursed
at myself for stalling, then nodded woodenly at Su.
She was
the one who had to step through first, taking half
of me
with her, and if it didn't work—
Su took
a step forward without hesitation, disappeared
in a
shimmer, and then I was standing in the gate, able to
See it!
It had worked, and we were on our way off that
world!
Zail
came through first with his horses, then Dranna
followed
by Rik, and then Kadrim moved his end of the
chain
into the gate. We two went through the rest of the
way
together and stepped out into the next world, a world
of
short yellow grass as far as the eye could see, and a
yellow
sky very near sundown. It was warmer on that
world
and it wasn't raining, and out of the comer of my
eye I
could See the bright glow of the gate we'd just come
out of.
It was a million times better than the world we'd
just
left, no matter what ambushes it turned out to have,
but
that wasn't the best thing about it.
The
best thing about it was the big, black cat-shape
sitting
not far from the gate, looking at me calmly with
unblinking,
blazing red eyes.
CHAPTER 10
When I
banished our camp and we set off on the trait
again,
the yellow sky above us was still very near sun-
down.
It hadn't changed at all in the time we'd been there,
and the
world beneath it felt very empty of life. Even
InThig
couldn't sense life, and it had been on that world
longer
than we had.
Seeing
the demon when we first arrived apparently gave
me the
ability to fly. 1 must have gotten to it without
stepping
once on the ground between us, and then I'd been
down on
my knees with my arms thrown around its neck.
If it
were possible to strangle a demon I would have <;nded
InThig
right there, but its initially startled purr continued
on and
on, and a low, pleased growl kept assuring me it
was all
right. It hadn't been able to use the gate to get
through
to the world we'd entered, so it had spent the
intervening
time going around through other worlds that
brought
it to the yellow one by a different route-
"But
how did you know that this was the next world the
trail
would lead us to?" I'd asked, completely confused.
"Or
that this was me gate we'd be coming through?"
"Laciel,
there are only so many worlds each world
leads
to," InThig had reminded me, a definite satisfac-
tion in
its tone. "Every gate leading to a world has a
diagram
of sorts that demons have learned to read, and that
diagram
indicates the worlds that are reachable through
each
world the gate opens on. I took an alternate route to
1-7^
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
the one
you six did, one that let me reach most of the
worlds
your route did, and began checking gales. When I
found
this one I picked up the—scent, I suppose you might
call
it—of the one who has been carrying the balance stone
through
the worlds, and knew by that that this was the gate
you'd
be coming through. I must say it certainly took you
long
enough,"
"But—a
search like that would take forever," I'd pro-
tested,
only partially understanding what I'd been told. "To
check
every gate on a world? InThig, it isn't possible to do
something
like that!"
"For
demons it's more than possible," it had answered
smugly,
licking at one paw. "For us it's downright easy.
We
don't have to constrain ourselves to the same use of
time
and distance that humans do. Or speed, if you want to
go into
details. And would you mind my asking why
you're
all standing there soaking wet?"
"We
were in need of baths, but we had to settle for
showers,"
I answered, blinking in surprise at having for-
gotten
what state we were in. "I'll make camp for us in a
minute,
but I still have one more question for you: why
weren't
you able to go through the gate we did? We all
thought
those things had killed*-you."
"Hardly,"
it answered with a sniff, dismissing the hor-
rors
that had sent us racing through the gate. "i tore up a
few of
them and entered the gate, and then discovered that
I
couldn't follow you through to that world. There's
a—barrier
of sorts that prevents us from entering certain
worlds,
a barrier we can get through if we really try, but
even
considering trying isn't very intelligent. The worlds
behind
the barriers usually mean the end of existence for
my sort
of life, or a madness that can never be recovered
from.
Some of us have seen a few of those worlds by
reaching
them through a special entry, but the area around
the
entry must be protected by one of the Sighted or the
madness
takes us- If the protection is breached, we've
even
been known to turn on the Sighted who helped us
through
me entry."
With my
hand on InThig's shoulder I'd been able to feet
it
shudder, so I'd dropped the subject and hadn't brought it
278
SHARON
GREEN
up
again. I'd heard stories once about that sort of thing,
but I
hadn't really believed them—then-
Right
after that I'd set up camp, and once the horses
were
seen to, we all went to our pavilions to dry off, eat
and
rest. I'd made sure to include bathtubs filled with hot
water
in my spell, and that was the first place I'd gone to.
During
the bath and the following meal I'd told InThig
something
about what had happened to us on that blind
world,
and then I'd gotten into bed and pulled the covers
up,
intending to lie there only for a short while. The short
while
had become a long while, and if anyone had dropped
by to
visit, I never knew about it.
We'd
started our new "day" in the same place that
we'd
left it, learning from InThig that the time hadn't
seemed
much earlier or much different even when if had
gotten
there. The world still felt empty, and we rode for
hours
without seeing a single tree—and without being
attacked
even once. There was nothing but the short,
unending
yellow grass and the darkening yellow sky, and
even
the climate seemed without life. It was neither too
hot nor
too cold, no wind to speak of, no sunshine, rain,
snow or
storms, nothing but sameness. When I'd gotten up
that
"morning" I'd recreated my lost clothing, and then
had
returned Rik's shirt with a polite thank-you. He was
wearing
it again during the ride, but he needed it less than
he had
on the previous world.
By the
time we stopped for a meal, the others were
trying
to decide how they should be feeling. They were
glad
not to have to beat off attacks every five or ten
minutes,
but that meant the first attack was stilt ahead of
them—at
an unknown place and time. The world we rode
through
was too quiet, too monotonous, too easy; there
had to
be a catch in it somewhere, and everyone was
worrying
what that catch might be. I thought I knew what
it was,
but saying anything just then didn't seem like a
good idea.
If I was wrong it would put them off their
guard—and
give them a lot more to worry about.
"Good
meal for a lunch stop," Su said, bringing me out
of my
thoughts when she sat down next to me on the
ground.
"Liked these meat pies a lot, back at the fair.
Something
bothering you?"
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
279
"I
was just considering the benefits in being wrong," I
told
her with a smile, watching her brush crumbs from her
hands.
"1 suppose it's a matter of timing, just like every-
thing
else. If you can manage to be wrong at the right
time,
life becomes a lot easier."
"You
sure didn't pick the right time in that fight," she
said,
not quite returning my smile. "What did Rik do to
you
once he got you out?"
"What
did he do to me?" I echoed, not quite under-
standing
the question. "He didn't do anything. I told
everyone
about it this morning, just before we left camp.
Once we
got out of the city we spent the day in the barn,
and
then we went to meet you four. Two search parties
stopped
outside the bam and two or three others went by
fairly
close, so we spent most of the time hiding- What
made
you think he did anything to me?"
"Never
saw a man madder than Rik when he and the
others
came to tell us you'd been taken," she answered,
still
looking at me strangely. "Swore he'd beat you good
and
proper when he got you back. and you've been avoid-
ing him
the whole morning's ride. He didn't hurt you, did
he?"
"No,
he didn't hurt me," I answered, looking down at
my
hands while trying to think of'what else I could say.
Telling
the truth would be too embarrassing for Rik, but I
couldn't
seem to think of a lie. And then it came to me
that
there was one piece of the truth that should be told, no
matter
what else was or wasn't spoken about.
"Su,
do you or any of the others know why Rik was
made
leader of our expedition?" I asked, looking up at her
again.
"And I mean the real reason, not the excuses that
he's
bigger and stronger than 1 am, has more experience
leading
than the rest of us, or anything like that. Was I the
only
one who didn't know?"
"Nobody
told me any different," she answered with a
frown,
the strange look fading from her eyes. "What
makes
you think it's anything else?"
"He
told me yesterday what the real reason is, and it's
been
bothering me ever since," I said, wishing I were
telling
a lie instead of the truth. "Graythor made him
leader
because he's the only one of us not absolutely
280
SHARON GREEN
necessary
to the quest—and therefore the one meant to die
if
that's what it takes to keep the rest of us alive. If there's
real
danger in something he's the one who does it, because
he's
the one who gets to say who does what. That's what
he told
me, and I believe him."
"Don't
think I like the way that sounds," she said, the
frown
even more evident. "The rest of us get to live
because
he was sent along with us to do the dying? Don't
it
bother him that it's unfair?"
"He
thinks it's necessary for the quest, and better that
one
life is lost than millions," I told her. "I want to save
those
millions, too, but not by simply handing over some-
one
else's life. None of us came on this quest expecting it
to be
safe, and I mink if we share the danger equally we
can all
survive, not just some of us."
"Now
that sounds like something I can live with," she
said
with a nod, straightening where she sat. "And we
ought
to tell the others."
"Would
you do that?" I asked, feeling considerably
better
than I had just a few minutes earlier. "I haven't had
any of
those meat pies yet, and I'd like to have some
before
we get moving again."
"No
problem," she said, rising to her feet and heading
resolutely
to where Zail, Dranna and Kadrim all sat to-
gether.
1 rose, too, but went instead to the food I had
created,
this time with an appetite that hadn't been around
sooner.
I was
just finishing up a second pie, ready to wash it
down
with ale, when mere was something of a distraction.
Rik had
eaten alone and then gone to his horse to look it
over,
with InThig discussing that world beside him, but
enough
of his attention had left that discussion to notice
the
second one going on. I'd kept an eye on the four
people
discussing our mutual problem and had seen how
indignant
Zail and Kadrim had grown, Dranna more shocked
than
anything else, and apparently I hadn't been alone in
seeing
it. Rik left his horse with InThig padding along
beside
him, and walked over to the group.
"What's
wrong?" he asked, looking from one to the
other
of them. "You all look as if you've just discovered
we're
about to be attacked."
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 28l
"Nothing
that simple," Zail answered, still looking
outraged.
"But at least 1 know now why all that scouting
became
your job."
"And
why you kept yelling at poor Laciel every time
she
tried to do something herself," Dranna put in, making
it
sound like a personal insult. "We won't stand for it. you
know."
"Indeed,"
Kadrim said from where he sat beside Su,
his
blue eyes harder than usual. "For one to bear the
burdens
of all is not a thing a true man will accept."
"What
are you all talking about?" Rik demanded, his
confusion
echoed less strongly in InThig. "What aren't
you
going to stand for or accept?"
"We
don't like the idea that you mean to die for us,"
Su
said, surprising him by speaking up that way. "We
decided
seven's a luckier number than six, and we're
going
to need all the iuck we can get. If all of us don't
make
it, none of us will."
"This
is ridiculous," Rik said when the othe'-s nodded
their
agreement with Su, too involved to notice how pleased
InThig
was at being numbered one of the group. "Who
told
you 1 was supposed to— Laciel!"
His
head turned to me when "he said my name, and those
bronze
eyes weren't glowing with" anything like pleasure.
He
looked as though he'd caught me reading his secret
diary,
which was definitely ridiculous.
"I
think I can go along with that," 1 told him pleas-
antly,
just as though he'd been asking my opinion. "If all
of us
don't make it, none of us will."
"That
isn't the way the wizard said it had to be done,"
he
responded with what was almost a growl, then included
the
others in with his glare. "You're all missing the point
of
this—which is the recovery of the balance stone. What's
one
life balanced against millions?"
"What's
six or seven lives balanced against millions?"
I
countered as I stood, not about to let him get away with
nonsense
like that. "After all, Graythor also said it was
imperative
that we don't separate. And as the only real
representative
of the people in question, I have to tell you
that
they won't tike me idea of someone throwing his life
away in
their name. If one of us happens to die trying to
282
SHARON GREEN
save
them, that's a different story; they'll honor that per-
son as
one of true courage, someone who tried to help
them
and died for it. But someone who simply gave up his
life?
How do you repay a debt like that? How do you tell
that
person how arrogant a sacrifice that is, and how
demeaning
it is to the people involved? It would put them
in your
debt forever, and free men and women don't want
to be
in someone's debt forever."
"You
can't speak for them any more than you can speak
for
me," he answered, his entire manner stiff and of-
fended.
"A man has the right to decide what to do with his
life,
especially if he isn't looking for anyone's thanks. And
1 still
happen to be leader of this group, so the rest of you
can
make all the decisions you like. Whether or not they're
carried
out is my choice, and I say things will go on just
the way
they were. Now, get to your feet and back to your
horses.
Lunch time is over."
Zail
and Kadrim had risen to their feet, but when they
didn't
even try to argue with him I knew he'd used Persua-
sion on
them to end the discussion. He left their group and
walked
over to me, and the way he looked down at me
should
have melted me where 1 stood.
"Is
mat the reason you think you're along on this
quest?"
he asked with that continuing growl. "To make
trouble
any time the enemy doesn't? The next time you're
feeling
bored, let me know about it first. We can pass the
time by
taking care of that paddling I still owe you. Now
see if
you can mind your own business long enough to get
on your
horse."
With
that he stomped away from me toward his own
horse,
and it was all I could do to keep from creating
something
invisible in his path for him to trip over. He
was
absolutely hateful, and I was glad he didn't really love
me.
"Looks
to me like he's trying to make us not care about
him,"
Su said from behind my right shoulder, and I turned
to see
her standing there with the others. "There's some-
thing
about him that makes us do what he says, but up till
now he
never nibbed our noses in it. What are we going to
do?"
"We
shall do as we earlier decided," Kadrim told her,
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 283
he,
like the others, staring at Rik's retreating back. "We
have no
recourse save to obey his commands when he
speaks
to us in such a manner, yet must we continue to
seek a
safe path about the pitfall till one is discovered."
"Laciel
doesn't have to obey him," another voice put
in, and
we all looked down to see that InThig had joined
us.
"If he continues acting so foolishly, she'll have to be
the one
to keep him safe. He's more essential to this quest
man he
realizes, and we can't afford to lose him."
"Let
me know when we can afford to lose him," I said,
a
comment the others chuckled at as they began to move
toward
the horses. "After what he said to me, I'm looking
forward
to the time,"
"I
hope that's not the only time you're looking forward
to,"
Zail said very softly as he passed me, his hand on
Dranna's
arm. When I looked at him he winked, then
continued
on without saying anything else. 1 waited to feel
the
thrill I had the other times he had spoken to me
privately,
but for some reason it didn't come, and men I
realized
something 1 hadn't expected: I no longer felt about
Zail
the way 1 had, and wanted nothing to do with his
"exchanging
of gifts." I didn't know what had happened
to make
things so different, bur'there was something more
important
I didn't know: how was! going to keep Zail at
arm's
length without letting Rik see me doing it? That
spell
wasn't likely to keep Rik annoyed with me for long,
and I
didn't want the quest disrupted by a fight between
him and
Zail.
"That
frown seems weightier than it should," InThig
observed,
the only one who hadn't already walked away.
"Is
there anything disturbing you that / might help with?"
"InThig!"
I exclaimed low, suddenly seeing the way
out I
needed. "There certainly is something you can help
me
with, and it will only take a moment to explain."
I spoke
to the demon quickly, outlining the sort of help I
needed,
then hurried to my horse when the others began
moving
impatiently in their saddles and Rik had started
over to
yell at me again. I told them all that InThig and 1
had had
to confer on something to do with magic, and
although
they all accepted the statement without question,
284
SHARON GREEN
there
was a black demon who didn't stop grinning very
widely
for quite some time.
We
continued our ride across the dull, yellow world,
and
nothing happened to change that dullness. Mile after
mile
passed beneath our horses' hooves, and then Su
began
to slow down. I'd already Seen the glowing slit not
very
far ahead, but as we rode up to it, I saw something
else as
well. A colorless bubble floated beside the gate,
perfectly
round and about the size of a head, all the colors
of the
rainbow reflecting from it despite the lack of very
bright
light. Someone had left a message sphere for us,
and for
a moment I had the ridiculous idea that that
someone
was the enemy, but then the sphere detected my
presence
and a face formed in it.
"Thank
the EverNameless that you've made it this far,"
Graythor's
giant-voice said, his white-bearded face smiling
with
relief. "I can't communicate with you directly, but
when
you triggered this message sphere, a signal was sent
to me.
I won't be able to speak with you, but I'll know
that
you're there."
We had
all approached the sphere and stopped, but it
wasn't
able to detect anyone other than me. For that reason
Graythor's
eyes were on me alone, and his words also
addressed
the same.
*'I
don't know the details of what you've gone through
until
now, but this is the point you must brace your-
selves,"
he said, his expression now somber and his eyes
filled
with upset. "Laciel, you, especially, must be very
alert
now, and you must also give the others some idea of
what to
expect. You'll have to leave the horses there,
beside
the gate, or you'll surely lose them, if not immedi-
ately
then eventually. I'll use the link of this message
sphere
to maintain whatever you create to sustain them
until
your return. Stay together and trust no one other than
your
quest companions, for everyone and everything else
will be
your enemy. I'm sure you've been behaving your-
self,
Laciel child, and bearing in mind the fact that Rikkan
Addis
is leader of the expedition. Please continue to do so.
Go
carefully and safely, each and every one of you,
knowing
that my hopes and blessings go with you."
His
white-bearded face smiled with true warmth just
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 285
before
it disappeared, and then the bubble silently burst,
leaving
only the link-shadow of itself. That was what
communication
spheres usually did once they'd delivered
their
messages and I was expecting it, but the quiet explo-
sion
startled some of the others. It did not, however,
startle
the one who could have used startling the most.
"Behaving
yourself and bearing in mind that Rikkan
Addis
is leader of the expedition," a calmly satisfied voice
quoted from
my left. "You're not doing very well with the
first
part of that, but I'll see to it that you're welt reminded
of the
second- What's the danger ahead that we have to be
on the
lookout for?"
It was
Rik who was sitting beside me, of course, look-
ing as
though every one of his opinions had been vindi-
cated.
The others were looking as frustrated as I felt, but
Rikkan
Addis wasn't going to get away with killing him-
self
if/ had anything to say about it!
"It's
not simply danger," I said, answering only his
question
as 1 began to dismount- "So far we've been
moving
through worlds that allow magic but are predomi-
nantly
run and populated by the untalented. Once we go
through
that gate, though, we'll be moving through and
toward
worlds that are dominated by and based on magic.
If you
thought we had it bad on a world where I was
magically
blind, wait until we get to the ones where almost
everyone
can See."
"You
sound as though you're familiar with those worlds,"
he
mused, automatically following my example by dis-
mounting.
"Why can't we take me horses through them?"
"Because
some of those worlds don't have anything like
horses,
or anything horses can eat," I said, leaving my
gray
where he stood and moving farther to the left of the
gate.
"I can create pasturage for them on a world like this,
where
everything isn't under a spell or already created by a
spell,
but there will be places I simply won't be able to do
it. And
no, I'm not familiar with those worlds. I've just
heard stories."
I'd
been looking more at me landscape than I had at
him,
and when I finished answering his question I spoke
the
spell that created the horses' pasture. Good green
grass,
fresh water, a self-renewing oat bin, shelter—and its
286
SHARON GREEN
own
cycle of day and night. I'd been right in thinking
we'd
come through to a margin world, and it was so far
out
there was no knowing what its period of rotation was. I
turned
away from the newly-made pasture to get my gray,
and
nearly ran into Rik, who was standing right behind
me.
"Why
don't you share a few of those stories with us?"
he
suggested in a way that wasn't exactly a suggestion,
those
bronze eyes looking down at me. "It might help us
to know
what to expect."
"Believe
me, hearing those stories would not be a
help,"
I told him, trying very hard to keep from shuddering.
"Magic
users have it hard enough, but most of those
stories
deal with the unSighted who had to go through
those
worlds. And now that you mention it, it might be a
good
idea if I went on alone from here. I can make the
camp
self-sustaining the way 1 did with the pasture, and
you and
the others could ..."
"Now
that / mention it," he interrupted with a small
sound
of ridicule, the expression in his eyes immediately
matching.
"We stay here with our feet up, while you go
on
alone. Why don't we ask for volunteers to see who's
willing
to do that? Everyone who wants to stay here safe
and
snug raise a hand."
Rather
than raising a hand he folded his arms, and
didn't
even bother turning around to look at the others;
They'd
all dismounted and were standing by their horses,
and
only Dranna appeared as though she wished she had a
reason
to volunteer. The others were wearing the same
expression
Rik was, the same expression they'd been look-
ing at
him with earlier, and that let me know 1 was wasting
my
time.
"Don't
say later I didn't warn you," I told them with a
shrug,
walking around Rik to get to my gray. The com-
ment
was designed to give them uneasy second thoughts,
but
some people just aren't capable of interpreting mean-
ingful
hints.
"As
a matter of fact you aren't warning us," Rik
commented
back, faint annoyance in the voice that fol-
lowed
me to my horse. "All you've come up with so far is
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 287
a vague
mention of 'stories'. What specifically happened
to
those untalented people?"
"That's
something we don't quite know," I said, look-
ing
down at the leather reins in my hands rather than at the
group
of people staring at me. "Most of the ones who were
brought
back were hopelessly insane, people who couldn't
stop
laughing, or crying, or screaming, or maybe all three.
Some
were absolutely silent, lost somewhere within their
own
minds, and even the ones who spoke weren't rational-
They
babbled about beautiful illusions and terrifying reali-
ties,
about dreaming while awake and touching the true
world
in sleep, about being stalked and having had to do
stalking
of their own, none of it detailed and little of it
repeated
in any depth. Most of them had been taken by
different
routes through the sector, but it was pretty much
the
same sector they all traveled through. It's the sector
called
the Far Side of Forever."
This
time I was surrounded by silence as I led my gray
toward
the pasture, and that silence continued through the
unsaddling
and turning out of all of the horses. Dranna
stood
with her arms wrapped around herself while Zail saw
to her
mount, and I knew the pallor in her face had been
caused
by what I'd said. Even people who are prepared to
die or
go through Hellfire for a cause tend to hesitate when
it's
madness they face, which is perfectly understandable.
When
you're dead there are no two ways about it, but when
you're
mad you might not know what you are.
"If
there was no way to get through without going
insane,
the wizard wouldn't have wasted his time sending
us,"
Rik said at last, obviously voicing the conclusion
he'd
reached. "He also repeated the fact that we had to
stay
together, so sending Lacie! on alone is out, even if we
hadn't
already decided that. I think we can make it, no
matter
what they try to throw at us."
By that
time he was looking around at everyone, his
bronze
eyes daring anyone to be silly enough to disagree
with
him, and of course none of them could. His strong,
real
belief was infecting them the way it had in Graythor's
house,
and even Dranna was getting her color back. What
he
believed they believed, and all I could do was hope
they
weren't all kidding themselves.
288
SHARON GREEN
"I
think it's time we used that gate now," he said to
me, the
expedition leader giving a no-arguments order to
one of
his followers. There was really very little choice in
what
had to be done if they weren't going to be staying
behind
after all, but Rikkan Addis was trying to reinforce
a point
he thought Graythor had already made for him.
"Of
course, Rik, anything you say,'* I agreed at once,
gesturing
to Su and Kadrim to join me at the gate. As soon
as we
were there and holding hands, I glanced over my
shoulder
and added, "We're starting now, just the way
you
wanted—0 beloved leader," then immediately stepped
into
the gate with Su. I'd promised not to call him "fear-
less
leader" and I'd keep that promise, but he'd find there
were a
lot of variations to be used in place of that title.
That
ought to keep him from constantly stressing what
Graythor
had said, and also produced an unexpected side
effect.
That
might have been the first time in the history of
gate-using
that people passed through one laughing.
CHAPTER 1 1
Without
the horses, passing through the gate took no time
at all.
When Kadrim and I joined everyone else, we found
them
gazing around at the new world we'd entered, a
world
that looked more like an illustration in a child's
storybook
than like a real world. The sky was very blue
and had
neat white clouds pasted on it here and there, the
grass
under our feet was very green, and a patch of flowers
a short
way ahead and to the "right was colored in vivid
yellow,
red and pink. Every color *in sight was bright and
intense,
and there was no overlapping in the scene. Every-
thing
had its own neat place, and nothing seemed prepared
to
stray out of it.
"If
this is what they mean to use to make us crazy, I'm
all for
it," Dranna said as she looked around in delight,
taking
a deep breath of perfumed air. "This is the first
world
we've come to that hasn't scared the daylights out of
me."
"I'll
say," Zail agreed with equally delighted enthusi-
asm
from where he stood not far from Dranna. "Let's stop
and
have a picnic."
"Perhaps
taking a few moments of leisure would not be
entirely
without benefit," Kadrim said, leaving me to walk
toward
the others. "The time lost will be easily made up
in more
hostile surroundings."
"Don't
see why the trail can't wait a little while," Su
agreed
with a glance for Kadrim as he stopped beside her,
290
SHARON
GREEN
her own
attention mostly on the landscape. "Hunting ought
to be
great in these parts, and easy, too. Bet the deer all lie
down as
soon as you get near them."
"Have
all of you gone crazy?" Rik demanded of them,
the
only one of the group who wasn't smiling. "We don't
have
time to stop for a picnic, and you should all know
that.
We'll stop to make camp at sundown the way we
usually
do, and you can enjoy yourselves then. Right now
we have
a trail to follow."
,
"Oh,
don't be so stuffy, Rik," Dranna laughed, leaving
Zail to
undulate toward the other man. "It's only early
morning
here, so sundown's a long way off. If we stop for
a while
now we can all have some fun, with the promise of
more to
come later. Won't that be a great incentive for
moving
on?"
She was
standing in front of Rik by then, and when she
finished
speaking she put her arms around his neck and
stood
on her toes, at the same time pulling his head down
for her
kiss. The others laughed at that, still delighted, but
since I
knew what was really happening, there was no
reason
for me to watch it. I turned away to look for
InThig,
and found the demon seated only a few steps to
the
right.
"My,
my, Dranna must be stronger than she appears,"
it
commented in a low voice when I walked over to. it, its
blazing
red eyes staring past me to the left. "Rik seems to
be
having trouble getting away from her, and can't stop
the way
she's kissing him. She seems to be really enjoying
that
kiss."
"That's
because she really likes him," I told InThig,
feeling
no urge to turn around and see it for myself. "And
I'm
pretty sure he likes her quite a bit, too. He was very
concerned
about her when we first started this journey. Do
you
have any idea about what I can do to pull them out
from
under this spell?''
"I've
been considering the matter since we came
through,"
it said, moving those unblinking red eyes to me.
"This
trap has caught us very much unawares, especially
since
neither you nor I are affected by it. It's designed to
catch
the unSighted and untalented, and seems to be a
general
spell rather than specifically directed at our com-
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 291
panions.
I also believe I detect the approach of something,
most
likely the something that created this trap. We have
some
time before it arrives, but not an unlimited amount.
My
goodness, Dranna is still kissing Rik. Perhaps you
ought
to try it yourself, Laciel, to see what she Qnds so
compelling."
"Why
would I want to know what kissing Rik is like?"
I
asked, looking around to see if I could spot whatever was
coming
to check on what had been caught in its trap.
"You
know as well as I that he doesn't really like me, so
why
would I try to embarrass him? Do you think it's the
coloring
of the landscape that's affecting them, or is it the
air
that's spelled?"
"Visual
spells usually have a different appearance to
them,"
InThig said, almost musing aloud. "Also, if it
were
visual you would probably be able to See through it
without
half trying. All things considered, it seems more
likely
that the air is at fault. . . . Laciel, about Rik and
what he
feels toward you. Perhaps you should be told what
he said
to me that night I stayed with him in his pavilion.
He
doesn't . . ."
"Then
all I have to do is change the air," I said, turning
away
from InThig to close a^ subject I didn't care to
discuss.
"At least I hope that's all! have to do."
Dranna
was still holding tight to Rik. and even as I
watched
he managed to disengage her, only to have her
come
right back at him. He could force her away but
couldn't
keep her like that without hurting her, and the
others
all thought it was a riot. If my counterspell didn't
work, a
riot would be the least of what we had, and nothing
that
could be considered even remotely funny.
I
raised my arms and spoke a brief spell, feeling a great
deal of
surprise at the instant surge of power that accompa-
nied my
effort. My talent seemed to be even stronger there
than it
was on other worlds, and the air I'd demanded the
creation
of formed immediately around all of us. I hadn't
changed
the air around the gate, I'd surrounded us with
our own
supply, a much easier thing to do and one that
had
fast, gratifying results.
"Oh!"
Dranna exclaimed while the laughter of our
2Q2
SHARON GREEN
other
companions faltered, pushing herself quickly away
from
Rik. "What am I doing?"
"That's
what I was wondering," Rik said, eyeing her
strangely
but with something like relief. "Are you all right
now?''
"Yes,
I'm—fine," she answered, one hand to her breast
as she
looked away from him, then she took herself hur-
riedly
back to the others. She seemed to be very embar-
rassed
over what had happened, and maybe even more
than
embarrassed. What that more was I couldn't tell, but I
also didn't
have me time to think about it.
"If
anyone is, still in the mood for a picnic, I think you
should
know that the ants are on their way," 1 announced,
drawing
all their attention- "If we don't move on now, we
may not
get another chance."
"I
would know what occurred here," Kadrim said with
a
frown, looking as if he had just awakened from a bad
dream.
Su had her hands to her head and Zail was shaking
his
while he comforted a trembling Dranna with one arm
around
her shoulders, all four pairs of eyes filled with
confusion.
"This
whole area is trapped to catch the untalented," I
told
them, still looking around. "The spell wasn't set to
snare
our expedition, it was designed for any unSighted
who
happens to come through the gate. Since InThig says
the
designer of the trap is on its way, do you mink we can
get
going now and save the discussion for some other
time?"
"The
trail is here," Su said quickly, leading off as soon
as she
was sure everyone was following. InThig went from
sitting
to running in an eyeblink, obviously intending to
keep Su
company at point, and when I followed after
everyone
else I discovered I had company to my left.
"I
can't imagine what got into Dranna," Rik said as we
brought
up the rear, this time sounding even more embar-
rassed
than she had. "I hope you know I wasn't encourag-
ing
her."
"Don't
worry, Rik. everyone will understand it was the
spell,"
I reassured him, privately wondering just how
close
the trap-setter was. "The others are too busy being
upset
to laugh at you."
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
293
"I
don't care about whether or not they laugh," he
said,
this time sounding impatient. "I just want you to
know it
wasn't my fault. 1 didn't go to her, she came to
me."
"Why
shouldn't she go to you?" I asked, finally glanc-
ing up
at him to see the vexation on his face. "She really
likes
you, you know, and has for some time. You won't
hold it
against her, will you? The way she acted under the
spell,
I mean."
"Laciel,
I—I mean, don't you—I mean—" His words
stumbled
out as though they were trying to say something,
but he
didn't seem able to get them to go that far. The look
in his
bronze eyes was almost fierce, and then he shook his
head,
dismissing it all. "Since that's all that's bothering
you, I
might as well set your mind at ease," he said at
last.
"There's nothing at all that I'll be holding against
Dranna."
He then
strode away without looking at me again, and I
honestly
didn't know why he seemed so angry. After a
minute
I decided it had to do with me spell he was under,
so
understanding wasn't worth pursuing, not when there
was
something else I wanted to do, I was intent on trying
to
forget how happy and satisfied Dranna had looked while
she was
kissing Rik, and I didn't need anything distracting
me.
Su
followed the trail through the very neat landscape,
but
only for about ten minutes before the landscape changed.
The
neat road began to angle downward, and between one
step
and the next, as though we'd crossed an invisible
threshold,
the storybook land was gone. Beyond it was a
gray-blue
sky with a diffuse sun hidden somewhere in it,
slate-gray
rocks and boulders decorating the ground below
scattered
stone mesas and ranges, and red-gray soil sup-
porting
sparse, clumpy, hungry-looking grass. There were
no
roads or buildings or any signs of settlements or civili-
zation,
but as inhospitable as the land felt, it also didn't
feel
empty. We weren't alone on that world, but we were
all a
lot happier not seeing any overt proof of the fact.
InThig
dropped back briefly to tell me that we were no
longer
being pursued by the trap-setter, and in fact hadn't
294
SHARON-
GREEN
been
since I'd caused us to be surrounded by our own air.
It had
seemed to the demon that the trap-setter had hesi-
tated
noticeably at that time, but it hadn't said anything
until
it was sure. 1 listened to InThig's information without
comment,
but once it had gone back to keeping Su com-
pany,
it came to me that what had happened made sense.
The
trap-setter was after those who were unSighted, and
didn't
care to tangle with anyone who could break its
victims
out of the trap. Someone below sorcerer .grade
might
have been able to bring some unSighted through the
gate,
but probably couldn't have gotten them out of the
trap.
With the victims out, the trap-setter had chosen
prudence
over pursuit.
"1
wonder if I might interrupt your thoughts for a short
while,"
a voice said from my right, and I looked up to see
that
Kadrim had moved back to walk beside me. His big
hand
rested on the hilt of the sword that hung between us,
and his
blue eyes looked down at me with their usual
calm.
"I
wasn't deep in anything particularly earth-shattering,"
1
answered with a faint smile, taking my eyes from the
backs
of the others as they trudged through me barren
landscape.
"Was there something specific you wanted to
talk
about?"
"Indeed,"
he said with a nod, but without returning my
smile.
"I wished to speak with you as a friend, and
perhaps
also as the father I sometimes feel myself to be to
you.
Will you accept my words in such a way, and under-
stand
that I do not speak merely to give you hurt?"
"Welt,
you've been right in everything you've told me
so
far," I said, wondering why he was looking so somber.
"If
you want to speak as a friend, that's the way 1*11
listen."
"Good,"
he said with another nod, and his eyes wanned
even if
he still wasn't smiling. "1 hesitated to say this to
you,
not only for the pain I knew it would bring, but also
in fear
that you would think I lied and our friendship
would
be no more. 1 pondered the matter a short while,
and
then understood that it was necessary for you to be
told no
matter the cost. Girl—while we awaited your
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
295
return
from that city from which Rik took you—Zail—
passed
the time—in company with Dranna."
I was
about to ask how Zail could have avoided being in
Dranna's
company without leaving the group—and then I
understood
what Kadrim meant. Zail hadn't just been near
her,
he'd done considerably more, and I didn't know what
to say.
Hearing about it embarrassed me a little, but aside
from
that it didn't seem to be the end of the worlds. I
continued
to hesitate, wondering how you said something
like
that without sounding awkward and maybe even heart-
less,
and Kadrim misinterpreted my silence.
"You
must know that this may not indicate what it
appears
to," he said quickly, putting a supporting arm
around
my shoulders. "In truth there are those men who
speak
of giving all they possess to the woman in their
arms,
even unto their names, yet have interest only in
taking
rather than giving. 1 had thought Zaii to be one such
as
that, yet may it be no more than a matter of the needs of
a man.
Some men may wish to be true to the woman of
their
choice, yet do their bodies drive them to seek other
women
when their own is unavailable. Zail may indeed
possess
deep feeling for you, yet did I deem it necessary
that
you know that facet of his^nature. Should you accept
his
petition, you must know what it is you accept."
"And
now, thanks to you, I do know," 1 said, looking
up at
my friend with a smile. "I promise to think about it
very
carefully before I do anything permanent to commit
myself,
which I probably won't do anyway, at least until
this
quest is over. But I would like to ask a favor: if you
haven't
said anything to anyone about this, please keep it
dial
way. If anyone found out, I think I'd feel rather—
foolish."
"1
have not spoken, and now give my word that I shall
not,"
he answered, this time adding the smile that had
been
missing. "Su became aware of the situation as I did,
yet
have I learned that she is one who will say nothing
under
any circumstances. It pleases me that you have taken
mis so
well, and now I may continue our journey with a
lighter
heart."
He took
his arm back with the relief he had mentioned,
296
SHARON
GREEN
and we
walked on together in silence. I didn't want him to
know
that 1 felt just as relieved, now that I knew I wouldn't
be
hurting Zail by refusing him once the quest was over.
He
probably wouldn't have been hurt long, only until the
spell
was canceled, but I still felt better about it.
It took
less than an hour for us to reach the next gate,
and the
world beyond it had a deep purple sky and a red
sun,
cliffs of granite that rose high toward that sun, and
numberless
cave mouths breaking into those cliffs. The.
world's
inhabitants became clearly visible very quickly,
blocking
the trail that Su had begun following again as
soon as
Kadrim and I stepped out of the gate. They
appeared
to be some sort of cross between animals and
insects,
covered in fur of every color there was, mouths
full of
fangs that literally dripped drool all over them, eyes
multi-faceted
and gleaming with a chilling kind of delight.
Most of
them were twelve or fifteen feet tall, and when the
four
armed members of our party immediately drew their
swords,
one big specimen in front laughed louder man the
rest.
"You
think mem little stickers gonna do somethin' to
us?"
it bellowed happily, staring down at a group that had
gone
pale at the sudden appearance of the giant upright
monsters.
"Maybe a demon c'n get you through a gate,
but it
can't do nothin* to make those toothpicks hurt us.
They
told us to watch out fer you an' t'be real careful, but
I don*
see no reason t'be careful. All you folks look is good
feat."
"Maybe
you'd better take another look," Rik said,
stepping
out in front of Su with his sword tight in his fist.
"We
won't be going down without taking more than a fair
share
of you with us, so why not play it smart and just step
out of
our way? Take any other option, and you'll end up
regretting
it."
"You
ain't gonna make nobody regret nothin*. Shifter,"
me
blue-furred spokesman grinned, showing even more in
the way
of teeth while its giant bands opened and closed in
eager
anticipation. "The on'y thing that ain't to my iikin*
is how
puny you are, no more'n a couple o* bites each.
Never
did like gettin* no better'n a taste."
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
"And
how puny do / look to you?" 1 asked, pushing
my way
gently to the front of our group to look up at the
spokesman.
Rik immediately put his free arm up to keep
me from
passing him. an idiotic gesture if I ever saw one,
but
there was really no need to pass him. I could See the
beast
clearly from where I was, and glittering, faceted eyes
showed
that me ease of inspection was mutual.
"You?"
the thing asked with another laugh, but one mat
was the
least bit less sure of itself- "You ain't even as big
as he
is. Why would I mink you looked any different?"
"Oh,
I don't know. just a silly, girlish fancy on my
part, I
guess," I answered in a drawl, then raised my left
hand
palm down and said, "Sph'eer-it." Again I could
feel
that great surge of power, and when I began lowering
my
hand, the size of the spokesman lowered with it, one
foot of
his height and heft for every inch my hand moved.
There
was a groaning mutter and a slight backing away of
the
monsters behind the first as I shrank my victim down
to
about four and a half feet, and then added, "See
anything
different about me yet?"
"Okay,
okay, you've made your point," the thing grum-
bled as
it looked up at me, its voice if not its complexion a
good
deal more on the pale" side. "We thought it was
strange
for a group of unSightefl to travel alone with a
demon,
but what the hell, it was worth trying for them. If
we'd
known there was a wizard with them, you never
would
have seen us."
"Sorceress,
not wizard," I corrected, looking at the
tiling
in curiosity. "And why is your grammar so suddenly
unproved?
My spell didn't even come close to covering
that."
"We've
learned from experience that the thicker we
sound,
me faster our—visitors—give up their weapons,"
(he
creature said, glancing uneasily toward Rik. "They're
usually
too frightened to do us much damage, but every
now and
again there's one— Look, friend, that crack 1
made
wasn't really meant in a derogatory way, and once 1
was
really good friends with a Shifter before I—ah—
ended
the friendship. No hard feelings, huh?"
The
look Rik gave the creature couldn't be described as
SHARON
GREEN
anything
less than pure disgust, and the now-small creature
winced
at the impact of those bronze eyes, then turned to
me
again.
"Really,
do you think we can forget about this?" he
asked
anxiously, his fangs now almost dry. "We have a
firm
policy of nonintervention where the Sighted are con-
cerned,
which is undoubtedly why we were given that
misinformation.
We'd like to go back to what we were
doing—if
you don't mind?"
"I
haven't yet decided whether I mind or not," I said,
making
sure I didn't blink as I stared at him. "What other
surprise
visits are waiting for us between here and the next
nearest
gate? Or between here and the gate used by your
misinformants?"
"How
would I know?" the thing asked plaintively, then
gasped
when 1 lowered my hand again just a little. "Okay,
okay,
my memory is suddenly clearing. A couple of just-in-
case
ambushes, some defensive boulders ready to come
down
off the cliffs, easy stuff, nothing you'd have any
trouble
with. They said they wanted us to make sure. but
we
never expected you to get past us, so why would we
have
gotten fancy on backups? I'll be glad to tell you all
about
it—show you, I mean. show you! Please don't lower
that
hand any more! If it's a guide you want, it's a guide
you've
got!"
"How
good of you to offer," I said with something of a
smile,
gesturing a temporary halt to his shrinkage. "The
rest of
your people can run along now, but if we happen to
see
them again, you're the one who'll be in trouble. Does
everyone
understand that?"
"They
understand," the creature answered, watching
enviously
as the others took hasty leave from the vicinity.
"I
told you we know better than to mess with wizards, and
I
wasn't joking. All right, all right, sorceress, not wizard.
Have it
any way you like. Who's leading out?"
I
turned my head and nodded to Su, who gave me a
brief
smile before taking up the lead again. The creature
followed
dejectedly after her, complaining that she was
walking
too fast, and we moved out after him.
"They
were really afraid of you, Laciei," Dranna ex-
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
claimed
in a low voice from my left, hurrying to keep up
while
looking nervously all around. "They seemed even
more
afraid than those soldiers you chased away from the
gate we
wanted to use, and I don't understand why."
"They
were more afraid because they have a fairly
thorough
understanding of magic," I toid her, keeping one
eye on
the creature ahead of us, "When it's only the
unknown
you're afraid of, there's a limit to how much fear
you can
feel before your mind says. 'What the hell are you
running
from?' On me other hand, when you know in
detail
just what there is to be afraid of, you become very
anxious
not to get involved. They all know what I can do
to mem,
and don't want any part of it."
"I
hadn't consciously noticed it before, but when you're
using
magic you're a good deal more mature," Zail put in
from
Dranna's left, his handsome face thoughtful. "You're
also
much more self-possessed, and ruthless when you
have to
be ruthless."
"Creatures
like these don't respond to pretty-pleases or
bluffing,"
I explained with a faint smile. "You have to
prove
to them that you're capable of squashing them flat
and
also willing to do it, or they'll walk all over you. It
isn't
much different from leading a street pack."
"Now
do I begin to see me reason behind your claim
that
magic users are most often expedition leaders," Kadrim
said
from his place behind Dranna and Zail. "Your mas-
tery of
the situation was true mastery, and clearly kept us
from
grievous harm. I salute your ability, Laciel my
friend."
His
smile, like his words, was open and warm, causing
Dranna
and Zail to echo the sentiments, and then Dranna
made a
sound of surprise.
"Now
what do you suppose is wrong with him?" she
asked,
and I turned my head back to see Rik striding away
from us
through the ground boulders in an effort to catch
up to
Su and the creature, who were about ten feet ahead.
He
hadn't said a word, and I didn't understand what was
wrong
any more than Dranna did.
"Looks
to me like Rik's crown of leadership is begin-
ning to
pinch a little," Zail said with a chuckle that wasn't
the
friendliest sound I'd ever heard. "Our fearless leader
SHARON
GREEN
300
didn't
get very far bailing us out of that mess back there,
but
Laciel handled it without any trouble. I think he's
afraid
that if it happens again, he'll be out of a job even
with
the wizard behind him. The wizard's a long distance
off,
but Laciel's right here."
"But
I didn't do that on purpose to make him look
bad,"
I protested, suddenly realizing that that had to be
what it
had looked like to him. "These are the worlds of
magic,
and I'm supposed to protect the group."
"And
a very fine job you're doing, too," Zail assured
me, smiling
at me mostly with those gray eyes. "We'll
have to
find a very special reward for such fine work. I'll
talk to
you about it later."
I'm
sure there was something significant in his gaze at
that,
but I was really too upset to notice. Rik was walking
ahead
with Su and the creature, his back stiff with silent
anger,
and I knew I'd have to try to make him see the
truth.
For some reason I didn't much care about the leader-
ship
any more, except for having wanted to tease Rik
about
it. It was probably that I had decided to respect
Graythor's
wishes, but had just been a little annoyed at the
way Rik
had stressed the point. 1 hadn't been trying to
replace
him as leader, and letting him know that was only
fair.
Su
followed the trail that led between the cliffs, and at
three
separate points the creature stopped her an4 walked
forward
a couple of steps to wave his arm in a signal of
sorts.
At the first point he seemed rather nervous, but
apparently
his people wanted to get him back more than
they
wanted to see us stopped. None of them showed
themselves
again and nothing unexpected happened, and
another
half-hour's walking brought us to the next gate. 1
restored
the creature to his original size. but none of us
stood
around watching him hurry back the way we'd
come.
We formed our chain and passed through the gate,
and
most of us were glad we'd left the horses behind. If
the
distance between gates continued to be so short, the
horses
would have quickly become more burden than aid.
The
next world was green and murky and seemed to be
made up
of swamp mud, and the insects weren't the only
things
that seemed to be interested in eating us. Rather
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 301
man
take any chances I created three shielded discs with
handrails,
and we floated over the mud and through the
green
murk with things reaching for us but not connecting.
I'd
intended sharing a disc with Rik so that I could talk to
him,
but he'd immediately climbed onto Su's disc, and
that
was that. Kadrim shared my disc with Zaii and Dranna
sharing
the third, and InThig changed itself to black vapor
to keep
the slimy mud off its feet.
By the
time we reached the next gate, I had to admit
that I
needed a rest. Day and night were no longer matching
up very
well, and we'd been on me move for quite some
time.
If we*d still had the horses, I might have been willing
to try
putting one or two more worlds behind us, but
walking
on top of the energy I'd been expending was just a
little
too much. I couldn't afford to use up everything
when
our lives depended on how strong 1 was, so when we
stepped
off the discs onto the rise of solid ground the gate
stood
on, I made my way over to Rik.
"Once
we're through the gate I'd like to set up camp,"
I told
him, very aware of the way he kept looking around
at the
green murkiness rather than at me. "I'm really
getting
tired, so I think we'd better stop for a while."
"Why
tell me?" he asked ift a very uninterested voice,
his
gaze still touching everything else. "You've been trying
from
the start to make yourself expedition leader, and now
it
looks like you're just about there. Why hesitate when the
prize
is nearly yours?"
"I'm
not hesitating!" I protested, more upset than I'd
expected
to be. "I'm not trying to be expedition leader,
I'm
just trying to do what I'm supposed to do! Graythor
say)
you're leader, and I'd never . . ."
"Never
try showing me up in spite of that?" he inter-
rupted
with a bitter laugh. "Don't you think you're a little
late
with those noble sentiments? I've never worried about
facing
anyone head on in a dispute, but back-stabbing puts
me out
of my league. You really know how to go after a
man
when he's least expecting it, don't you? I don't like
fighting
under a set of rules like that, so it's all yours. You
wanted
it badly enough to try for it without caring what
you had
to do to get it, so why drag your feet now? Go
ahead
and take it."
302
SHARON GREEN
With
that he simply walked away from me, not once
having
bothered even to glance at me. The others were
gathered
around the gate, waiting for our conversation to
be
over, none of them apparently having heard a word of
the
exchange. I joined them woodenly, too numb to think
about
what had happened, and we all went through the
gate.
We
entered the next world in the middle of a blinding
snowstorm,
nothing around us but furiously blowing white
and
agonizing cold. I lost no time in creating our camp,
made
sure Su's longer exposure to the storm would cause
her no
harm, then slogged through the drifts to my pavil-
ion.
I'd warded our camp to make sure nothing was able to
gel to
us, but 1 hadn't pushed the snowstorm away; even in
a small
camp like that, people would find it easier staying
inside than
wandering around visiting.
By the
time I got to the warmth, I was already chilled to
the
bone. 1 thought briefly about drying my clothes with
magic,
but 1 really was too dred and it was totally unnec-
essary.
There was a nice, warm, thick robe waiting for me
to get
out of ice-tinged sogginess, and once I had it on I
sat
down on the gray settle with my feet beside me under
me
robe. The nice thing about a magic pavilion is that it
doesn't
let any of the cold in, not even when a demon
pushes
through the entrance silk.
"I
must say snow is much preferable to slime." InThig
announced,
obviously pleased to be back in its cat shape.
"The
only problem was, that storm nearly blew me apart
before
I could solidify again. Why in the world didn't you
block
it out of camp?"
"I
thought I'd save you the job of keeping visitors away
from my
door," 1 said with a shrug, vaguely wondering
why
InThig's fur wasn't wet even a little. "I'm going to
have
something to eat, and then I'm going straight to
bed."
"In
mat case, perhaps I can make use of your time of
rest,"
it said, red eyes looking thoughtful. "If you're sure
you
won't be needing me, I'll scout around beyond the
camp,
just to see what might be waiting for us. I won't be
gone
more than a few hours."
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
303
"That's
a good idea," I said, really meaning it. "It's
sure to
save us time and trouble in the morning. Or
whenever
we decide it's morning."
"If
this storm keeps up, we won't know the differ-
ence,"
it agreed, turning again toward the entrance silk. hi
another
moment it was gone, and then there was nothing to
take my
attention but what had been said to me before we
entered
me gate-
Back-stabbing
is out of my league, he'd said, meaning
that
that's what he thought I'd done to him. Back-stabbing,
sneaking
up from behind, taking advantage of him when
he
wasn't expecting it. I reached up to close the robe more
tightly
at my throat, not understanding why he hadn't
believed
me when I'd said I hadn't been trying to take the
leadership
from him. Was that the way he saw me, as a
liar,
and a sneak, and something that disgusted him more
than
the creature who had tried to apologize for insulting
him
when it no longer had the upper hand? I'd known he
didn't
like me, but apparently his dislike had grown so
strong
that it was even overcoming the spell he was under.
It
looked like he didn't just dislike me, he hated me-
1 lay
down on the settle with my hands still holding the
robe
closed, happier than ever that I hadn't been silly
enough
to fall in love with him." It doesn't pay to love
people
who hate you, all it does is get you kicked out into
the
street where they don't have to look at you anymore.
His
gentleness and kindness had been because of the spell,
not
because he really liked me; when his disgust had let
him
overcome the spelt, he'd shown how he really felt. If
I'd
been silly enough to fall in love with him, what he'd
said
would have hurt quite a lot, but I didn't love him. I
felt sorry
for him because of the spell he was under, but I
didn't
love him.
I lay
unmoving on the settle for quite some time, my
mind
too tired to chase the thoughts around any longer,
and
then it came to me that I was still cold on the inside. I
wasn't very
hungry but I felt the need for some warm
soup,
me one dish that had best kept me going during the
years
I'd been growing up. It's amazing how many things
you can
make soup from, and if you get really desperate
you can
even do without the vegetable peelings and dog-
SHARON
GREEN
304
chewed
meat bone. Wanned water with a pinch of coarse
salt is
more than simply water, and I needed a little of it to
chase
the cold away. After that, I might be able to sleep.
There
was no soup among the dishes my camp-spell had
created,
so I used a little strength and made some, then sat
down at
my table to eat it. The plain, clear, yellow broth
was a
good deal tastier than what I'd grown up on, and it
was
exactly what I needed. I ate it without thinking about
anything
but how good it was, and was almost through
when I
heard a throat-clearing sound near my pavilion
entrance
that caused me to look up. Standing there in a
tracked-in
pool of melting water was Rik, his wetly-
glistening
hair and clothes showing signs of the storm he'd
just
passed through.
"I—hope
I'm not disturbing your meal," he said, a
self-conscious
gesture indicating the bowl my spoon still
hovered
over. "I—just came to apologize for what I said
to you
earlier. For a minute there 1 thought I'd lost all our
lives
by not being able to handle the situation, and instead
of
being relieved when you did it, I just got mad. I've
never
been in a situation before where I couldn't take care
of
myself and everyone else with me, and feeling that
helpless
just made something—snap. It took me a while to
understand
that you were just doing what you're here to
do, and
I was a damned fool to see it any other ^vay.
I'm—also
not used to being jealous, which seems to make
you
imagine things that aren't there. Are you willing to
accept
my apology?"
This
time those bronze eyes were directly on me, with
even
more hesitation showing than his speech had had. I
could
see that the spell was in control of him again, and I
really
did feel sorry for him. He'd be very embarrassed
once
the spell was gone for good, and there was no need to
make it
any worse.
"You
don't have to apologize to me," 1 said, turning
back to
what was left of my soup. "I can understand that
you
were upset, and it really doesn't matter. At this point 1
can't
even remember what you said, so why make a fuss
about
it? And being jealous of me is a waste of time. I
may
have the talent to do magic, but I won't be using that
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
305
talent
to become expedition leader. I stopped wanting that
job
quite a number of worlds ago."
"But
I'm not jealous of your talent," he said with what
sounded
like a small, incredulous laugh as I sipped at my
soup.
"Laciel—don't you understand that what's driving
me
crazy is the fact that we found something very special
together,
but now you won't even look at me? I keep
telling
myself that you're entitled to make your own choice
in a
man, but something inside won't let me accept that!
Damn
it, I'm the man for you, no matter how much more
money
Zail has than I do! Or how important his family is!
From
now on I'm going to spend my rime proving it,
starting
with tonight. You said you were tired, so let's go
to
bed."
I
nearly dropped my spoon as I quickly turned my head
back to
him, but I wasn't mistaken. He was beginning to
stride
toward me, his bronze eyes glowing like molten
metal,
and I was so flustered I almost didn't get my left
hand up
in time. That stopped him, right in the middle of a
step, and
then 1 was able to leave the chair he was already
so
close to. That whole thing was absolutely crazy, and I
wanted
no part of it.
I took
a minute to study the 'frozen determined look on
bis
face as I calmed down, and then the reason for his
behavior
finally came to me- The spell he was under must
have
been a reflexive one, the sort that gets stronger the
harder
you fight against it, and he'd been fighting awfully
hard
earlier. Because of that he was now determined to
"prove"
that he was the man for me, the exact opposite of
what he
would want to prove if the spell was canceled. I
couldn't
allow anything like that to happen, of course, not
when I
knew how he really felt—and maybe not even
under
other circumstances. I had never seen a man act like
that
before, as though nothing I said or did was likely to
discourage
him, and it made me vaguely uneasy. Just how
determined
did some men get?
I shook
my head to dislodge the useless question and
tightened
the robe around me again, then gestured away
the
freeze I had on him while softly speaking another
word.
Being released caused him to stumble as normal
motion
was restored, his gaze still on the chair where I'd
306
SHARON
GREEN
been
sitting, and then he was standing still and frowning
around,
confused about what was happening.
"You
were right to begin with," I told him when his
eyes
finally found me, faint surprise showing in them. "I
am
entitled to make my own choice in a man, and that's
exactly
what I intend doing. If you ever happen to be it,
I'll
let you know. Right now you'd better go back to your
tent—while
you still have a tent to go back to." "
"So
you are angry at me for what I said to you," he
decided,
nodding a little at the conclusion. "Well, 1 can't
very well
blame you for feeling that way, but I also can't
let it
stand. The only way I can get myself back to
something
like normal is to do what 1 said I would—prove
to you
that I'm the choice for you to make. Suppose 1 start
with
apologizing again, only this time make it more—
heartfelt.
What do you say?"
He
started toward me again, this time with a faint grin,
his
arms beginning to rise as though he were going to put
them
around me—and promptly bounced off the invisible
wall
I'd created. One of his hands went immediately to his
face,
cupping a nose that had taken the brunt of the unseen
encounter,
and I couldn't help smiling a little to myself.
Some
men, it seemed, were very sure of themselves, but
running
nose-first into a blank wall was enough to dampen
anyone's
self-possession.
"What
I say is what 1 said earlier: I don't need any
apologies,
nor do I want them," I informed him with what
I hoped
was the proper chill. "I don't care what you do to
bring
yourself back to normal, as long as you do it away
from
me. Now, are you leaving this tent—or do I have to
throw
you out?"
"You
couldn't throw me out without using magic, but I
suppose
that would be enough to do it," he grudged, his
hand
still to his face. "You're a hard woman, Laciel, but
if you
think I'll let little things like invisible walls stop me,
you're
kidding yourself. I'm going to keep working on you
until
you see things my way—even if it takes longer than
this
quest. You can't keep a wall between us forever, and
once it
comes down I'll make you see things my way.
Don't
say I didn't warn you."
Those
eyes pinned me with one last stare before he
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
307
turned
to the entrance silk, and once he was gone I moved
to my
bed and sat down on the edge of it. The best thing
that
could be said about that situation was that he didn't
seem
determined to die for the cause any longer, but I
wasn't
entirely certain how good a thing that was. In his
condition
he didn't realize how much he hated me, so he
was
fully determined to prove that he loved me and that he
could
make me love him back. I wasn't about to be silly
enough
to fall in love with him, of course, but somehow I
had the
feeling that the following days would not be that
easy to
dismiss.
CHAPTER 12
The
following "morning" brought no let-up in the snow-
storm,
and while I ate InThig told me what its scouting of
the
night before had produced. I'd been asleep when it had
gotten
back, and there hadn't been anything serious enough
that it
felt it had to wake me.
".
. . so if the gate I found is the next one we have to
use, it
isn't very far—under normal conditions," it said.
"I
have the distinct impression, however, that normal
conditions
here mean a constant snowstorm, and the result-
ing
terrain is not what one might think of as reliable. If
you all
try to walk, even roped together, you're most
likely
to end up in one of those hidden crevasses."
"So
I'll have to take us to the next gate with magic," I
said,
chewing thoughtfully as I considered the situation.
"You
know, InThig, it occurs to me that the last few
worlds
have required the use of an awful lot of magic,
even
more than being on magic-based worlds should ac-
count
for. I have the feeling this route was chosen with a
good
deal of deliberation, and not simply because of what
we have
and will run into. There's a dual purpose working
here
that seems to go like this: if the party following the
trail
had no magic user, it would fall victim to any one of a
number
of contrived or natural disasters. If it did have a
magic
user, that Sighted would be burdened more and
more
with the need to provide protection, possibly to the
extent
of running out of strength at the worst possible
in»
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
309
time.
I've made sure that I won't run out of strength, but
my
method isn't what might be considered orthodox, so it
probably
wasn't anticipated. Aside from that, I don't see
any
flaw in the theory."
"You're
most likely correct," InThig agreed, its blaz-
ing red
eyes appearing distracted as it considered the facts.
"The
enemy was clearly hoping that you would find it
impossible
to escape the clutches of the god-king on that
blind
world, but didn't rule out the possibility that the rest
of the
group would manage to leave that world, perhaps by
having
the gate opened by me from the other side. By
those
standards, however, he would also have provided for
your
escape as well, so your theory seems quite fitting."
"It's
nice to know what the enemy has in mind, but I
wish we
also knew where the thread was leading us," I
fretted,
up to the point of stuffing down the food mechan-
ically
instead of enjoying what 1 was eating. "There's
something
waiting for us at the very end of the trail, I'm
so sure
of it I can taste it. but it isn't going to be some-
thing
we can anticipate, I'm even more sure of that. How
do you
find a way to think of something you can't
anticipate?"
"Laciel,
even demons can'fdo miracles," InThig said
with a
growl of amusement, not in the least disturbed over
what
was ahead of us. "We'll simply have to cope with it
when we
come to it. In the interim, I have a question I
meant
to ask you, concerning that wall I encountered when
I
returned and tried to reach the foot of your bed. I also
discovered
then that your carpeting was wet, and checking
scents
told me who your visitor had been. I do hope
you
erected that wall to be certain that no one else was able
to
enter, and simply forgot to banish it once he had left."
"InThig!"
I said with a good deal of indignation—and
quite a
bit more embarrassment. "I don't know what you
think I
am, but I did not entertain a man in here last night.
And
most certainly not that particular man. How could
you say
such a thing?"
"1
said it from fatigue," the demon answered dryly,
stretching
out in long cat-comfort on the carpeting. "I'm
tired
of dropping hints you persist in misunderstanding or
ignoring,
and what I think you are is a woman old enough
SHARON
GREEN
3io
to find
a man to share her life with. Rik strikes me as the
perfect
candidate for that position, and I'd like to know
why you
refuse to even consider him.''
"Why
would I consider someone who hates me?" I
asked
with impatience, leaving the table to go to the heavy
cold-clothes
I'd created after awakening. "I'd rather not
go into
the details of how I know he hates me, but take my
word
for it that he does. Is that who you want me 1o share
my life
with? Someone who hates me?"
"He—did
speak to you rather vitriolically," the demon
admitted,
this time looking and sounding disturbed. "At
times
it's difficult to keep vapor from drifting, which is
why I
happened to overhear your conversation at me last
gate.
Laciel—why did he come here last evening?"
I
stopped getting into the cold-clothes when I heard the
growling
edge to InThig's voice, an unexpected reaction
that
gave me a rather good idea. The demon had more than
enjoyed
the suggestion that he help keep Zail away from
me, but
Zail was no longer my biggest problem. If I could
get it
to look at Rik the way it apparently looked at Zail,
I'd not
only have all the help I needed against unwanted
intrusion,
I'd also have an end to all the advertising InThig
had
been doing on the bronze-eyed man's behalf. It was at
least
worth a try. and if it worked I'd be in a much
stronger
position.
"He—said
he had decided to prove who the best man
was by
taking me to bed," 1 admitted in an appropriately
low
voice without looking at the demon, speaking nothing
but the
truth but neglecting to mention that one or two
things
had been left out. "He wasn't asking me, he was
telling
me, and the wall was the only way I could keep
him at
a distance. He—also said he wasn't going to stop
trying."
"How
well will he try once I've turned both of his
bodies
into pretty red ribbons?" InThig rumbled in the
growliest
voice I'd ever heard, the words accompanied by
the
sound of its claws breaking through into the wooden
floor
under the carpeting. I couldn't help flinching when I
saw how
blazing hot its eyes had grown, and knew imme-
diately
that I'd gone a little too far.
"Please,
InThig, don't forget that we still need him for
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 311
the
quest," I said hastily, trying to backtrack only a short
way.
"If you could just help to keep him away from me
until
we've returned the balance stone to where it belongs,
I'm
sure everything will be fine."
"Yes,
the quest," InThig muttered, very reluctantly
giving
up its original idea. "We do, of course, have to
consider
the quest before anything else, and that means i
can't
damage him even a small bit. But there are other
ways,
Laciel, there are other ways."
It got
to its feet and began pacing around and muttering,
something
I hadn't often seen it do, but at least the ques-
tion of
violence was settled. InThig would keep Rik away
from me
until the quest was over and the spell could be
dissolved,
and then he would certainly leave fast enough
on his
own. As I got into the rest of my heavy clothing, I
knew
the time couldn't come fast enough to suit me.
No more
than ten minutes later the others began arriving
at my
pavilion, all of them dressed in the warm clothing
I'd
provided. Su had had to be given boots as well, and I'd
also
given Dranna and myself heftier pairs. Dranna looked
strange
out of the green gown she'd worn so long and Su
looked
uncomfortable all wrapped up, but snowstorms
aren't
known for catering to people's individual prefer-
ences.
Zail made sure to mention iif an aside that I should
have
provided that clothing the "night" before, for him
even if
for no one else; I made sure to show fitting remorse
for my
oversight, but I couldn't help wondering how
strongly
the spell was affecting him. Zail seemed very
eager
for my company, but it was someone else who had
come
through a snowstorm to talk to me.
When we
were alt assembled, I led the way outside and
created
the long sled we would all be riding on. Since it
would
be moving just above the snow rather than on it, the
sled
didn't need anything to pull it, which was a lucky
tiling.
The snow flew at us behind a terribly cutting wind,
the
storm turning the world into mounding white beneath a
darkly
invisible sky, and I would have hated bringing any
sort of
animal into something like that. I didn't much care
for
being in it myself, but hopefully that state wouldn't last
very
long.
Su had
to be first on the sled, and I gestured over the
SHARON
GREEN
312
howl of
the wind that 1 wanted to be second. No one tried
disputing
me for the position, not even with hand signals,
but 1
quickly discovered that third place had apparently
become
the prize of the day. Zail was helping Dranna
through
the drifts and against the wind, but she simply
couldn't
move fast enough, which left the race to Kadrim
and
Rik. Both of them began trotting toward the sled at the
same
time, their intentions obvious, but I wasn't the only
one
watching the contest. At four paces the two were just
about
neck and neck, but then a deep black body appeared
out of
the swirling storm and accidently blundered into the
legs of
one of the runners, sending him sprawling in the
snow.
The second runner reached the sled even before me
first
could get back to his feet, so it was Kadrim's arms
which
closed around me as soon as he had settled himself.
In the
pavilion Rik had been standing as close to me as a
sprawled
cat-body had let him be, and apparently InThig
hadn't
been prepared to have him any closer.
When
everyone was finally aboard, I got the sled under
way. Su
indicated the proper direction with gestures, and
if we
could have seen anything the ride might have been a
little
more interesting. It took almost an hour to get to the
gate
that way, and the only thing mat broke the monotony,
for me
at least, was the shadow crevasse we passed over. I
was
suddenly able to See it there, under about ten feet of
snow,
just waiting for someone or something to walk out
onto
it- The snow would have collapsed along with all
traces
of solid footing, taking whoever was on it down into
the
depths with it. The only one who was on it at the time
was
InThig, however, and that was when I noticed the
demon
wasn't leaving any sort of footprints; I spent the
rest of
the ride wondering how it managed to do that while
still
looking so solid.
If the
ride to the gate was dull, passing through it
changed
all that. I didn't understand why Su was pulling
so hard
against my hand while I stood inside me gate—
until
Kadrim and I went through. Suddenly the three of us
were
plunging toward beautiful turquoise-green water that
the
rest of our party was already splashing into, and I had
just
enough time to speak a word of banishment for all that
heavy
clothing we wore before the water closed over my
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
313
head.
It was very warm midaftemoon water, and when I
surfaced
again I nearly gasped at the beat of the air.
Instead
of gasping, though, I created a wide raft for us,
one
everyone in me party seemed capable of swimming to.
When I
got to the side of the raft, I discovered that
inThig
had been momentarily out-maneuvered. A big arm
closed
around me. supposedly to help me up onto the raft,
but
primarily so that two wet lips could briefly touch mine.
That
was all there was to it, a kiss so short that no one saw
it
given or received, but it upset me so much that once I'd
been
boosted up onto the raft I wasn't sure I wouldn't have
been
better off staying in me water.
In
another few minutes all six of us were on the raft,
and it
would have been hard finding a more bedraggled-
looking
group. A black-vapor InThig floated anxiously
over us
until everyone was soggily but safely aboard, but it
didn't
come down to join us until I'd disgustedly banished
every
drop of water soaking us. At that point it was
possible
to feel the really oppressive heat of the place, and
that
came close to setting off my suddenly-touchy temper.
I was
getting very tired of that up-and-down nonsense, one
minute
hot, the next minute cold, high after mat and low
beyond
it. If I could have gotten my hands on the enemy
right
then, I wouldn't have needed magic to do him a
whole
lot of damage.
"You
know, I've heard that this is the way they wear
metal
down," Zail observed to no one in particular, most
of his
attention into checking the state of his sword. "First
they
make it very hot, then they plunge it into cold water,
and men
they hammer it-''
"Well,
if anyone tries hammering me, they'll find a
response
they won't soon forget," I muttered, trying to
figure
out how my feet in their boots could be bone dry but
still
feel wet. "This sort of treatment might work well on
metal,
but it does an even better job on tempers."
"We'll
all be better off saving me temper tantrums for
when
they'll do some good," Rik said from where he
stood,
trying to see something besides pretty green water.
"Right
now what we need is a little propulsion."
"If
you're in that much of a hurry, I'll make you a
paddle,"
I snapped, having reached the point of blaming
314 SHARON GREEN
most of
my foul humor on what he had done. He didn't
love
me, he didn't even like me, so treating me like that
had
been totally unfair.
"Not
a bad idea, but a little too much of a temptation,"
he
drawled in answer, turning to give me a grin. "Consid-
ering
what I stilt owe you, you shouldn't offer me that sort
of an
opening."
,
I
understood what he meant and I bristled, but'lnThig
apparently
took the comment in the context of what I had
told
it. Rik took a step with the obvious intention of moving
along
the raft to me, but suddenly he found a long, black
tail
under that step instead of planking. InThig yowled, Rik
yelled,
and the next minute he was down flat on his face
and not
far from having been pitched off the raft entirely.
Only
his own cat-like reflexes had saved him, and that
little
incident made me feel so much better that I was able
to turn
to Su and get us going in the right direction.
The
snow world and the water world seemed to set a
pattern
for the rest of the morning; the distance between
gates
was never far, but it was also never easy. We
climbed
out of the water into the desert, crawled from the
desert
into the high mountains, gasped and climbed out of
me
mountains into absolute pitch-dark blackness, then groped
along
into blinding light. The light was so intense that
even
heavy filters didn't let us see more than the^cracked
clay we
walked on, and I made no attempt at all to use the
Sight.
If, after the water world, I hadn't taken the precau-
tion of
sending InThig through a gate first after Su pointed
out the
proper exit, that world of light probably would
have
blinded us all.
After
what seemed like days or months, we finally
passed
through a gate into a world that didn't attack our
senses.
Granted it was a purple and violet world with a big
silver
sun in a light red sky, but it was solid and dry,
neither
too hot nor too cold, had enough air for us to
breathe,
and the black vegetation made no attempt to
swallow
us down. It was almost too good to be true, but
we
couldn't afford to pass it up as a place to stop for a
while.
Everyone was tired and hungry—not to mention
frazzled,
stunned and stretched out to dry—so there was
no
choice at all.
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
315
"If
we stay together and keep alert, we should be all
right,"
Rik decided with more resignation than enthusi-
asm,
looking around at the unusual landscape. It was very
quiet
on mat world, the black trees and grass somehow
adding
to the silence, but somewhere far away there was a
faint
tinkling sound reminiscent of a poetic brook. For
some
reason the sound struck a distant chord of memory in
me, but
I was too tired to go searching for that memory
when it
persisted in staying distant.
"There's
life of some sort on this world," InThig said,
its
tail moving in restless jerks as it also looked around. "I
can't
quite pin it down, not even the direction I sense it in,
but
it's definitely there. Perhaps I'd better have a look
'around."
"Don't
go too far," Rik warned it, sparing only a
glance
for the demon before returning his inspection to our
surroundings.
"We won't be staying here any longer than
we have
to."
"I'll
know when you begin moving again,** InThig
returned
in a very neutral way, then slipped off into brush
(hat
hid it quickly and completely. I wasn't sure if Rik had
noticed
its coolness yet, but I felt a stab of guilt when I
remembered
how much InThig had liked Rik, and how
close
they had become. My attempts at self-protection had
ruined
all that, but I'd really had no other choice. Deciding
right
then to tell InThig the truth as soon as possible made
me feel
a litle better, and let me get on with what had to be
done.
"I
need two hours of sleep," I announced to no one in
particular,
then spoke the spell that gave us food, drink,
six
thick mats and blankets, and a shimmering hemisphere
that
hugged the ground with a thirty-foot diameter. "What
you see
all around us is our warding, made visible so
you'll
all know not to wander out of its area of protection.
Eat and
drink as much as you like, but someone wake me
when
the time is up."
With
that I went to one of the mats and lay down, pulled
me
blanket over me, then muttered the brief spell I'd
worked
out a few years earlier, when I hadn't wanted to
skimp
on my magic lessons, but needed extra time for
tournament
Hellfire practice. Two hours of sleep deliver-
3l6 SHARON GREEN
ing the
recuperation of eight was what it did, and there
seemed
to be only a reasonable limit on the number of
times I
could use it. I'd been saving it for an emergency
and
that seemed to be it, and as soon as I closed my eyes 1
was
out.
I half-awoke
to a deliciousty pleasant sensation, some-
thing
familiar but still bright and new that made me feel
wonderfully
alive. 1 floated in that not-yet-awake state.
enjoying
the sensation—until I realized what it was and sat
bolt
upright with a gasp of indignation.
"Ssh,
you'll wake the others," Rik said with a badly-
swallowed
grin as I glared at him, looking very comfort-
able
where he sat at the side of my mat- "You said you
wanted
someone to wake you after two hours, and that's
what I
did."
"I
didn't say I wanted it done with a kiss!" I came
back,
finding it hard keeping my voice low. "You're
taking
advantage of me and you know it, and 1 refuse to
stand
for it. If you ever try this again, I'll feed you the sort
of
charge I did that time in my tent, the one that knocked
you
flat! That'll teach you!"
"But
I already know how, so I don't have to be taught," i||
he
protested with the grin that refused to be swallowed, his ^
bronze
eyes amused. "After our time together in the barn, ^••'
you
should be aware of that- Unless, of course/, you're ^
suffering
from a memory lapse, in which case I'd be
rf
delighted
to—jog your memory." ^
I
really felt stupid blushing, but I just couldn't help it ^
and of
course that monster had to make it worse by ^-
chuckling.
My legs had gotten tangled in the blanket and it §
took me
an infuriating moment to get free, but once I did I jj|
got
quickly to my feet, having no intention of participating f
in that
conversation any longer. I really didn't want to hurt ||
Rik.
not after he'd risked his life getting me out of that t
city,
but I also didn't want to be taken advantage of. I ?
wished
briefly I could tell him how much he hated me, but ^
of
course it wouldn't have done any good. ."
"I
don't know why you keep trying to run away from ^
it,"
he said from behind me, his voice showing he'd
followed
me erect. "If our time together made you even ^
half as
happy as it did me, you should be more than '.
THE PAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
317
willing
to give it a chance. Say yes, Laciel, and make me
the
happiest man alive."
"I
should do that, and make you the biggest fool alive,"
I
muttered, moving quickly away from the hands mat had
come to
my arms. "Right now the only thing I'm saying
yes to
is moving on— Where's Su?"
I'd
begun looking for the big woman as an excuse to get
away
from Rik, but she wasn't on any of the mats or even
near
the food. There were a few black bushes in our
warded
area, but none of them was big enough to com-
pletely
hide someone of her size. Rik had seemed reluctant
to drop
the topic we'd been discussing, but suddenly he
was
beside me rather than behind, and his frown was
strictly
for the question I'd asked.
"1
don't know," he answered, looking around the way I
was
doing. "She was here when I went over to your mat,
resting
like everyone else. And now that you mention it,
Kadrim
had disappeared with her."
"But
where could they have gone?" I protested, seeing
immediately
that he was right- Only Dranna and Zail stiB
slept
peacefully on their mats, with neither Su nor Kadrim
anywhere
in sight.
"Wherever
it is, I'll skin mem alive when they get
back,"
he growled, almost as angry as he was worried.
"They
should both know better than to wander off, even if
it was
privacy they were after. We don't even know what's
on this
world."
"Well,
I think I'd better be with them if they find out,"
I said,
making the decision fast at the urging of the chill I
felt.
"You can wait here as long as you like, but I'm going
after
them."
"Without
Su to follow the trail, how do you intend
finding
out which way they went?" he objected with a
new
frown, probably because of what I'd said—and me
way I'd
said it. "If you think I'm going to have half the
expedition
wandering around in different directions, trying
to
figure out where everyone else is, you're out of your
mind.
If they haven't shown up by the time InThig gets
back,
we'll let it look for them."
"By
then it'll probably be too late," I countered, feel-
ing
more certain of that the longer I thought about it.
318 SHARON GREEN
"And
you're assuming InThig will be back, which might
not be
so. It said it will know when we start moving again,
which
probably means it intends meeting us on the way.
And
finding which way they went shouldn't be too hard."
I
turned away from him and spoke a simple tracking
spell,
one that caused two sets of footprints to begin
glowing
in the black grass. No Sighted left a trail like that,
especially
not a Sighted with something to hide, which
was one
of the reasons why we were following the trail of
the
balance stone rather than that of the person who had
taken
it.
"Why
don't you save the magic and just stay here?"
Rik
said, his voice and the look in his eyes equally strange.
"I'll
use my link-shape to follow them by scent if you
think
it's that important, and bring them right back. There's
no need
for you to leave the warding."
"And
what if your link-shape can't cope with whatever
they
might have run into?" i countered again, beginning to
get
annoyed with him. "Then whatever-it-is will have
you,
too, and I'll have to come after all three of you. if
there's
anything left of any of you to come after. I'm
going
now whether you like it or not."
"Whether
I like it or not," he repeated flatly, an echo
of my
annoyance starting to show in his eyes. "What I
particularly
don't like is that attitude, and the day/ will
come
that you try using it one time too often. At that point
it
won't matter how hot a sorceress you are, you'll still get
what's
coming to you. If you're going, let's go."
He
started off without waiting for an answer, following
the
glowing trail I'd brought into being, his left hand
loosening
his sword in its sheath. I glared at his back as I
hurried
to catch up, wishing there was time to tell him what
I
actually thought of him, remembering an old unSighted
saying
that began, "If looks could kill . . ." In my world
looks
could do more than kill, and if Graythor hadn't
protected
that blockhead, I would have taken a good deal
of
pleasure in demonstrating some of them.
The two
sets of footprints led through the warding wall
and off
through the scattered trees and bushes of the area,
the
stride-length showing they hadn't been hurrying. It
also
seemed as though they'd been walking together, prob-
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
319
f-
ably
talking as they went, rather than one taking off alone
and the
other following. The area all around was still as
quiet
as it had been, no birds singing, no insects buzzing,
no
small animals hopping shyly away. Silence like that is
enough
to make you shiver and the emptiness just adds to
it,
especially with that faint tinkling sound coming from
somewhere.
I looked away from the hushed landscape to
mention
the sound to Rik, and saw something that added
to the
chills 1 already felt: Rik was no longer following the
trail
by watching the footprints. His head was cocked to
one
side, as though he were listening to something and
following
the sound instead, and his arms were hanging
limply
away from his swordbelt. The alertness he was
always
insisting on seemed to have deserted him com-
pletely,
leaving behind nothing but an enthralled floating.
"Damn,"
I muttered under my breath, wishing I hadn't
been
quite so right in saying he might not be able to cope
with
whatever was out here. He was paralleling the two
previous
sets of footprints even though he appeared to be
no
longer aware of them, and that meant Su and Kadrim
really
had been taken by something. That left me on my
own as
far as any rescue attempt went, but I hadn't
expected
it to be any other wayl It would have been nice
having
someone normally alive along just for the com-
pany,
but where magic is concerned you actually can't
have
everything. The unSighted don't often understand
that,
but the talented know it well enough.
My mind
considered the problem for a moment, then I
left
Rik and moved ahead with more speed—and invisibil-
ity
wrapped tightly about me. Letting whatever was out
there
see me coming could cost Kadrim and Su their lives,
not to
mention Rik, I moved through the sparse bushes and
trees
as fast as I could without making noise, and in
another
minute saw an odd grouping of reddish gray boul-
ders,
the glowing footprints leading right into the middle
of
them. I was almost afraid of what I would see among
those
boulders, but that doesn't mean I slowed down. The
thick
black grass under my feet grew right up to the rocks,
which
meant my steps continued to be muffled even in that
unnatural
silence.
Silence
except for the tinkling. By the time I reached die
320
SHARON GREEN
boulders
1 noticed the sound had grown slightly louder.
although
it was also coming from other directions as well.
With a
great deal of care 1 moved around a boulder,
knowing
that some of the Sighted, like me, were able to
perceive
an invisible presence even if the invisibility itself
couldn't
be breached. If the whoevers were Sighted and I
brought
myself to their attention— The thought died once I
had
stepped more fully around the barrier, and saw what it
had
hidden.
The
black grass grew all across the large circle made by
the
boulders, almost like a nest-lining for the things that
lay in
it. Bright red they were with violet markings, in-
cluding
the short tentacles that grew out of their upper
bodies
like four waving arms- The round heads sitting on
thin
necks showed dull black eyes, two holes instead of a
nose,
and wide mouths filled with teeth that looked more
like
triangular daggers. The bottom parts of them had
nothing
like legs, and wide tracks here and there through
the
grass seemed to indicate that the only way they could
get
around was by dragging themselves, which probably
wasn't
the easiest thing to do. There were six of them, two
about
four feet high, one slightly smaller than that, three
who
were half the size of the big ones, and the tinkling
sound
was coming from the middle-sized one.
I took
a deep breath and let it out quietly, relieved to see
that
Kadnm and Su seemed to be unharmed, not so re-
lieved
to see that they were just standing about four feet
away
from the group of tentacled things—which were
surrounded
by smaller and larger mounds of what looked
like
picked-clean bones. These were life-forms that called
their
prey to them, then. and although I didn't know why
they
hadn't already started on their newest meal, 1 was
very
glad of it. The glazed took my two companions wore
said
they wouldn't be doing anything in the way of chang-
ing the
menu, but now 1 was there to take care of the
problem.
I had
just cleared the boulder on my way to joining the
group,
when a step behind me announced the arrival of
Rik. He
floated/walked in without hesitation, still listen-
ing
careftilly, and passed me to join Kadnm and Su where
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
321
they
were standing, the tinkling sound fading out as he
came to
a stop. Feeling confused I came to a stop myself,
wondering
how the things were going to bring their vic-
tims
closer without the tinkling—and abruptly found out.
One
minute there were three things sitting/lying on the
ground,
and the next minute those things had turned into
people.
Kadrim
made a sound of pained ecstasy, Su laughed
with
relief and joyous welcome, and Rik stirred with what
seemed
like pleasure, all of mem now staring at the three
people
lying at their ease in the grass. The woman looking
at
Kadrim was small and beautiful, with red hair and an
infectious
grin, while the man in front of Su had long
brown
hair tied back, and looked as though he would be
even
larger than Kadrim if he stood. 1 didn't understand
until I
moved my gaze to the third figure in front of Rik,
and
then it all came clear at once. The woman in the grass
in
front of him, raising her arms invitingly, was me.
I
snapped out a quick gesture, freezing my three com-
panions
in place just as they were about to rush forward,
then
hurried over and formed a heavy wall in front of them
that
was really a segment of a warding hemisphere. 1 had
die
awful feeling that the warding would do no good, and
when I
released them only to watch as they threw them-
selves
against the wall, trying to get past it, I found I was
right.
Reluctantly I froze them again, then got rid of the
wall
and warding. Warding works to keep things from
getting
to you to begin with, but only rarely will it sever a
connection
already made. One way or another I had to get
my
companions released by the beings who had cast the
spell,
that or figure out some way to get all three of them
to a
gate only Su could find for us, locate the proper next
world,
then take them through one at a time. Doing all that
wasn't
entirely beyond me, but I hated to think what
would
be left of me if I did. It would be much better trying
the
alternative first—and hoping hard it would work.
1 took
one step forward and banished the invisibility
spell,
causing a startled stirring among the three small
beings
behind the big ones, but the man and woman on the
ground
to my right paid no attention to me. Only the third
figure,
the medium-sized one that looked like me, slowly
322
SHARON GREEN
turned
its head in my direction, and then the tinkling sound
began
again.
"That
won't do you any good at all," I said. working
hard to
keep from showing how odd I felt talking to
myself.
"Your call doesn't affect me, so you can't reach
through
to my mind. Release my fhends."
"Your
friends are happy now, and will soon be even
happier,"
the thing answered in a low, warm voice, the
smile
it wore reflecting in its violet eyes. "They want very
much to
nourish me and mine, and their presence means
extended
life for one or more of my mates. Nourishment
has
been difficult to locate of late, and if 1 hadn't heard
your
friends' arrival in me area, I would have had to
sacrifice
one of my mates to sustain the rest of us. I would
men
have produced another mate almost immediately, of
course,
but one that would require considerably less nour-
ishment
for a while. Now that won't be necessary."
"I'm
sorry to disappoint you, but my friends and I
haven't
come here simply to nourish you and your mates,*'
I said,
wishing the thing would change back to its original
form.
"If you won't release them, I'll have no choice but
to
destroy you."
"It's
not time yet for me to serve as nourishment," the
thing said,
losing its smile to pout in disapproval. "I
haven't
yet produced a new singer for my mates, and that
means
I'm not yet to be replaced. Besides, don't you know
that if
you destroy me, your friends will also be destroyed?
Their
thoughts are now linked to mine, and should I fail to
release
them, they will go as 1 do."
"I
don't believe that," I said, folding my hands to fists
at my
sides to keep from showing how much I did believe
it.
"And even if it were true, I'd still refuse to give my
friends
up to you- If I destroy you and your mates, my
friends
might die, but at least they won't be nourishment
for any
of you."
"How
inconsiderate a life-form you are!" me thing
protested
with great annoyance, the violet eyes now flash-
ing
with anger. "Very well. If you refrain from destroying
any of
us, I'll release one of your friends. You, of course,
may
choose the one."
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
323
&,
"^
4-
t.
"No
deal," 1 said at once, immediately feeling better as
soon as
I saw it was willing to dicker. "My friends and I
axe
traveling together for a purpose, one which will be
mined
if one of them is lost. Leaving two would be like
leaving
them all."
"You
are very exasperating," me thing accused, this
time
glaring at me. "Very well, I will release two, but that
is my
final offer. I would sooner be destroyed than give up
die
nourishment my mates require, nourishment they're
unable
to get for themselves. Take two or destroy us, and
(hat's
my final word on the matter!"
The
thing lay there glaring at me, showing me my own
face
set in lines of determination, and suddenly I didn't
blow
what to do. The creature wasn't bluffing or lying, 1
knew
beyond all doubt that it wasn't, and a really horrible
thought
had come to me. As far as the quest was con-
cerned
I only needed two of the people who were caught.
exactly
what the thing was offering. If I took those two
and
continued on the trail, we would very likely make it
all the
way to where the stone was being kept; if I tried to
nuke a
fight of it, I could conceivably lose all three.
-
That's the reason I'm along, Rik had said. To give my
life if
that will mean saving one w more of the rest of you.
Laciel,
child, this isn't a friendly •competition, Graythor
lad said.
You can't let your personal feelings get in the
way.
I will
release two, the creature had said, but that's my
final
offer.
I
turned to my left and looked up at the bronze-eyed
man
standing not far from me, the man who was mistaken
when he
said he loved me. If I'd asked him he would have
insisted
that I sacrifice him, leave him as payment for two
other,
more important lives, that one life wasn't worth
losing
millions for. 1 could have countered the claim by
saying
that if one life is worth zero, multiplying it by a
million
does nothing more than add additional zeroes, and
. if a
million lives are worth dying for, so is one life- The
if
contention wasn't original with me, but it so happened I
-
believed it; if one of us died trying, the loss would be
"painful
but acceptable; to bargain away the life of one in
324
SHARON
GREEN
exchange
for two others, to let a life be thrown away, was
not,
If I'd
been silly enough to love Rik, 1 probably would
have
been silly enough to do as he'd asked.
"Well?"
the creature demanded, impatience heavy in
its
voice. "Haven't you made up your mind yet?"
"As
a matter of fact I have," I answered, turning back
to
stare into my own face. It looked different from the way
I was
used to seeing it, but mat was because I was used to
seeing
a mirror image, not a duplication. It wasn't me
lying
there on the ground, I was the one standing up, and
even if
everyone else in the universe was confused, I
wasn't.
"My decision is that we do it my way, whether
you
like it or not.''
1
didn't even have to move to touch one hand to Rik and
the
other to Su, Kadrim linked in on the other side of Su
by the
hand he'd closed around her arm just before I'd
frozen
them. When the relay was complete 1 activated my
defenses,
and if my three companions hadn't been frozen
they
would have screamed at the surge of angry blue
sparks.
The creature in front of me did scream, me same
sound
Rik had made the night he'd accidentally touched
me, and
then my three companions were falling to the
ground,
and there were no longer three other humans to be
seen.
Instantly I cut the flow and warded us all com-
pletely,
then began to try repairing the damage I had so
deliberately
done.
It
didn't take as long as I thought it would to restore the
three
to pain-free consciousness, and when I saw mat they
were
all right except for being disoriented, I turned back to
the
creature. It bothered me that its short, ugly body was
still
quivering in pain, but when I soothed the pain away
its
agitation didn't disappear as well.
"How
did you do that?" it demanded hoarsely, still
using
my voice. "How did you steal my mates' nourish-
ment
from me?"
"I
didn't steal anything," ! corrected the accusing look
in the
flat black eyes. "I won back what was mine to
begin
with, using one of my magical defenses. You told
me
yourself that you were linked to their minds, so 1 used
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
325
their
minds to reach through to you. The only way for you
to stop
the pain was to release them, which was just what i
was
waiting for. They're ail free now, and you won't get
them
back again."
"I
truly dislike beings with such great magical strength,"
it
spat, disgust and accusation coloring its voice. "Take
your
friends and leave here now. I wish to be alone to
decide
which of my mates is to supply nourishment for the
rest."
"Why
don't you put that decision off for a while?" I
asked,
then spoke the spell that created half a carcass of
meat in
front of each of me creatures. The two big ones
and
three small ones fell on the meat as though they were
starving,
but the medium-sized one looked up from its
carcass
to stare at me.
"You
were able to offer this in exchange, and yet you
still
fought?" it asked, bewilderment now covering every-
thing
else. "And now, with victory indisputably yours,
you
supply nourishment when you no longer have to? The
reasoning
behind these things is totally beyond me."
"And
I'm afraid I can't explain it," I said, reflecting
that to
say I'd never bought the safety of any of my pack
would
be worse than saying nothing at all. "All I can do is
wish
you and yours well, and caution you to finish as
much of
that meat as quickly as possible. Once I leave this
world,
whatever's left will cease to be."
"But
whatever was used will remain as used," it agreed,
not
quite nodding. "Only what remains untouched and
unchanged
will vanish. I'm familiar with the rule, but I
don't
understand it either."
"Maybe
some day, when I have more time, I'll return
and
explain it to you," I said, wondering with faint amuse-
ment if
I was fated to spend the rest of my life lecturing
people
on magic. "Until that time, I bid you farewell."
"And
1 you," the creature answered, then gave all its
attention
to the meat in front of it. As dagger teeth tore
into
the carcass with pleasure I turned away, and found
three
people up on their feet, waiting for me.
"Don't
any of you try outdistancing that warding," I
^ warned them. pleased to see them looking
normal again.
326
SHARON
GREEN
"I've
heard other singers in this area, and if you come in
range
of them you'll be taken again."
"As
we were taken this time," Kadrim said, rubbing at
one
broad shoulder as he looked down at me. "Clearly we
should
not have left the area of protection you provided,
no
matter how great we fancied our combined blade-skill
to
be."
"Which
brings up the question of just why you did
leave."
Rik interposed, giving a regretful Kadrim and a
rueful
Su his best stem look. "Did it slip your mind that
we were
all supposed to stay together?"
"Thought
it might be a good idea to take a walk when I
saw you
starting to wake Laciel," Su told him with a
small
shrug while Kadrim examined the rock formations
around
us. "Kadrim came along to help me keep an eye
on—other
things."
"Oh,"
Rik answered with all me sternness gone, his
glance
to me just short of the blushing mark. It had been
his
messing around that had put Su and Kadrim in jeop-
ardy,
he thought, and the idea wasn't an easy one to
accept.
"Maybe
I ought to campaign for the job of leader after
all,"
1 mused, looking at none of them but seeing Rik's
continuing
upset out of the corner of my eye. "Just to
keep
everyone in line, you understand. Of course, you'll
all
have to overlook the fact that I would have banished the
warding
as soon as we got moving again, which would
have
made all of you immediately vulnerable- That would
have
been only a small mistake, though, and everyone's
entitled
to a small mistake."
"Only
if they don't have other people's lives depending
on
them," Rik came back, understanding the point 1 was
trying
to make but refusing to accept it. "We'd better get
back to
see if Dranna and Zail are all right.''
We all
realized that the stiff-necked imbecile was right
to
remind us that there were two more members of our
party
whom we'd forgotten about, so we headed back to
our
campsite as fast as possible. If Zail and Dranna had
awakened
and decided to come looking for us, I didn't
even
want to think about what probably had happened to
them.
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
327
To our
great relief, nothing had happened to them.
When
they saw us they started to come forward to meet
us, but
we waved them back to keep them within the
warding,
then sat down and explained what the problem
was.
All three of the former victims spoke about the
unbelievably
beautiful music they'd heard just before their
memories
faded out, and I was very pleased to see that
they
didn't remember anything beyond that. With visions
of
their loved ones in front of them they would have gone
happily
to be consumed, and would never have known it
was
happening. It was a sour joke that Rik would have
gone to
someone he really hated, but at that point I was the
only
one who could appreciate the humor in it.
In turn
we were told that Zail had wanted to go looking
for all
of us when he woke to find us missing, but Dranna
had had
a bad feeling about that world and hadn't been
able to
force herself to leave the campsite—or to let Zail
leave
her alone. We all decided aloud that it was a damned
good
thing at least one of us had more brains than raw
courage,
and since we weren't Joking, Dranna was pleased.
Everyone
else had a second meal while I had my first, and
then,
after I had warded everyone individually, we went
on our
way. InThig caught up to us just before the next
gate,
and told us that the life forms on that world appeared
to be
harmless. It was clear the demon couldn't hear the
"music"
any more than I could, and after we all stopped
laughing
I took a minute to explain what was so funny.
I
suppose that mat was the point in time most easily
pointed
to as when things stopped being funny. We went
through
a series of worlds after that which I most enjoy
remembering
as a long string of blurs: the place where
me
least sound was magnified a thousand times, the place
where
the planet itself was alive and hungry, the place
where
the very sunlight and air were painful, the place where
living
things lay still and unanimated, and only the
dead
were awake and moving about. That was where
Kadrim
did most of the fighting, the native "zombies"
most
often singling him out to attack with rusting swords,
but no
matter how hard they tried they couldn't get past his
swinging,
deadly blade to reach him. Possibly there was
328
SHARON
GREEN
one
point of amusement in all that, the one point that
turned
the red-'haired man into the bewildered boy he
usually
only resembled. When we reached the gate out of
there
it wasn't a string of dead he left behind him but a
string
of living, that being the results of striking down a
zombie.
His sword had left living beings behind, sleeping
peacefully,
and that was a concept he just couldn't get
used
to.
After
that it became Zail's turn, when we found our-
selves
in a world of mazes. The trail of me balance stone
kept
ending against blank, unyielding walls of rock, walls
that
were too high to climb over. Zail deciphered a pattern
and led
us through it, Su keeping a tenuous hold on the
track
of the stone to make sure we didn't reconnect to a
false
trail, and then we took the next gate out of there—to
a world
where males and females switched perceptions. I,
personally,
found the experience upsetting, but it can't be
argued
that we left that world knowing each other a good
deal
better.
It went
on and on and on, after a while everyone
becoming
as tired as I usually was. Our party needed
almost
constant magical protection, especially on the illu-
sion
worlds where cliff-tops ended about ten feet back
from
where they appeared to end, or falling trees didn't
look to
be falling until they smashed into the ground. The
worst
for me was the world in which we all became
wraiths
as soon as we stepped from the gate, living but
floating
mists in a world where simply floating was the
best
and happiest achievement. I was so tired then, so
ready
to let everything go including memory, and my
magic
wasn't able to counter the "world-must" to turn us
back
into what we had been. Just as Sight had been
prohibited
in the blind world, so were solid beings prohib-
ited
there; the others couldn't have stopped me if I'd
attenuated
myself to the limit and let the gentle breezes
take me
where they willed. What did stop me I still don't
really
know, but the others trembled with uncertainty until
we were
safely through the next gate. At that point Rik
forced
me to make camp by saying everyone was falling
off the
feet they'd just regained, but I was the one who
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
329
really
needed the rest. I fell asleep as soon as I lay down,
but
despite my instructions wasn't awakened in two hours.
I'd
used mat spell to uselessness, and luckily Rik noticed
in time
to keep me from falling apart.
After
that it went a little easier, which really should
have
warned us. Three worlds later we reached a world
that
wasn't a world—we reached the place called Cloud's
Heart.
CHAPTER
13
"I
can't believe we're this close," Dranna kept saying,
her
eyes on the cup she sipped from, the cup she held with
both
hands to keep it steady. She looked really terrible,
pale
and drawn and years older, her freshly cleaned and
restored
green gown enhancing the appearance of her de-
cline,
but she wasn't the only one. We were all. pretty
close
to the ends of our ropes, and we all had cups like
hers to
drink from. The drink I'd created let us all ignore
the
fact that the only thing keeping us from plunging into
eternity
was the magical floor I'd made, a floor that held
us just
as well as it was supposed to, but which refused to
be
anything but invisible. To look down was to see your-
self
suspended over miles and miles of beautifully thin
cloud
layer by nothing at all, cloud layer mat would not
hold
any of us but InThig for the briefest moment. Without
the
floor we'd all be gone, and not being able to see it
made
everyone doubt, deep inside, that it would stay under
us as
long as we needed it.
"It
appears the last of the defenders are now being
disposed
of," Kadrim said, sipping from his own cup as
he
watched what just had to be the final battle. "We
should
now be able to advance to the very walls of the
palace
itself."
"And
then it's Zail's turn again," Rik said, watching
what
Kadrim was. "There don't seem to be any doors in
that
place, but there has to be at least one."
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
331
Zail
grunted in obvious agreement, but he hadn't been
following
me conversation with more than half an ear. All
of his
attention was concentrated on the pure white build-
ing
we'd been fighting our way toward, the building that
didn't
seem to have any way in. If we couldn't get in,
everything
we'd gone through would have been for noth-
ing,
and none of us could live with a thought like that.
Exactly
how long it had been since we'd come through
the
final gate, none of us really knew. The entire journey
felt as
though it had taken ages, and maybe, on some plane
or
other, it had. The only thing we knew right then was that
we'd
been attacked as soon as we'd stepped through the
gate
onto me magical floor InThig had warned me we'd
need.
I'd gone through first with Su and created the floor,
and
then Su had kept me from being drawn back all me
way
when 1 returned to activate the gate for the others.
Although
she hadn't looked it, the big woman had proba-
bly
stopped breathing until everyone was through and I left
the
gate for the last time; if some part of me hadn't been
left in
the cloud worid with Su, me floor she stood on
would
have immediately dissolved, sending her plunging
down to
who-knew-what.
If it
had been the beginning *of our journey instead of
nearly
the end, the first attack -wouM have had us without
the
least trouble. From the top of the beautiful, white
cloud-palace
we could all see in the near distance came a
flight
of what appeared to be lovely winged children,
frolicking
in the air and laughing as they approached us.
Everyone
stopped to stare at the charming sight, none of
them
even considering touching a weapon, but my temper
had
been wearing very thin over me previous few worlds,
and the
outrageousness of the suggestion hit me immedi-
ately.
We had fought our way through to our enemy's very
door,
and now we were being greeted with warmth and
love?
Not bloody likely!
No one
seemed to notice when I muttered one of the
spells
Graythor had taught me, the spells which provided
magical
protection against magic, and luckily that included
the
approaching children. They swooped and bumped and
laughed
and waved until they were really close—and then
the
waves began emanating from them. Faint thoughts of
332
SHARON
GREEN
riotous
laughter reached us, along with the conviction that
we
really should be out there gamboling and flying with
the
children, and then the invisible sphere I'd created
thickened
to keep out even those faint suggestions. My
companions
suddenly realized how close we'd all come to
leaping
out into thin air in an attempt to fly, and all
thoughts
of indulgent good humor went by the boards-
Kadrim
was our expert in battle procedure, and I was
me one
who supplied the troops he needed. His first order
had
been to direct the creation of a flying force to over-
come
and destroy those "children," and if he'd told me
beforehand
what he intended doing with the vicious birds I
produced,
I might not have made them. It soon became
clear
that he was right, of course, that we couldn't advance
to our
objective leaving an untouched segment of our
enemy's
army behind us, but watching our enemy's "force"
being
destroyed hadn't been easy. When it was all over
we'd
thought we were finished with having to be sick to
our
stomachs, but it had only been beginning.
"That's
it," Rik said, watching as the slavering beast
tore
apart the last delicate, pastel-colored unicorn. The
unicorns
seemed to be the final wave, the last of the most
beautiful,
graceful and lovely creatures any of us had ever
seen.
Killing something about to attack you isn't usually
all
that hard—unless the something happens to be an an-
gel, or
a butterfly, or a translucent, brightly colored fish,
or a
happily trilling songbird. In a place where we had
expected
dragons we got unicorns instead, and Dranna
hadn't
been able to watch right from the first. Su stayed
beside
her, speaking to her quietly every now and then,
and
when I hadn't been creating things to Kadrim's speci-
fications,
I'd spent a good deal of time with them both.
Kadrim
had pretended to be too busy moving his "troops"
around
countering attacks and launching his own thrusts to
notice
what he was fighting, but at battle's end he no
longer
had the smooth, unlined face of a boy.
"Laciel,
bring us closer to that part of the palace wall,"
Zail
directed in a distracted voice, pointing to me right of
where
we then were. "All those arches and colonnades are
supposed
to be decorative and are probably also supposed
to be
misleading, but functional always has a certain bal-
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
333
ance
that decorative lacks, no matter how well done it is.
That's
the point we'll try first, and if it doesn't work we'll
go to
the other extreme."
I doubt
if any of us had the least idea of what he meant
by
"the other extreme," but we weren't the ones who had
to
know. InThig's tail jerked in short, sharp arcs as I
moved
our floor toward the point Zail had asked for, the
tension
in all of us transmitting itself even to the demon.
The
beautiful, spotless palace rose to the heights above the
clouds,
and I was the only one who could See that it was
really
there. To everyone else it looked like a dream, and
dreams
have a bad habit of melting away just when you
place
all your weight on them.
Zail
spent an interminable time inspecting and reinspect-
ing the
area he had decided was an entry into the palace,
peering
high and low, pacing back and forth on the floor,
moving
close to almost-touch, then backing away again.
As the
minutes passed his frustration mounted higher and
higher,
and at last he turned to us with a muttered curse.
"It's
there!" he snarled, his handsome face now more
than a
little haggard- "I know it's there, but I just can't
find
the mechanism for opening if Laciel, can't you try
some
kind of magic?" *•
"Whatever
this palace is made'of, I can't See into it," I
told
him, running a hand through my limp, greasy hair.
"It
doesn't resist Seeing it invites it, then sends my per-
ceptions
through endless repetitions of surface viewing. I
can See
it's solid and real, but I can't See beyond that."
"You
know, something just occurred to me," Rik mused,
staring
at the wall Zail had been inspecting, his arms
folded
across his chest. "It might just be that we're all
seeing
the same thing, even Laciel. Tell me why you
didn't
touch that wall even once, Zail."
'
'Why—touching an entry panel wrong has been known
to seal
the panel rather than open it," Zail answered,
looking
as confused as I felt. "If any part of the mecha-
nism
had been visible I would have known what could and
couldn't
be touched, but as it is—"
"But
as it is, you didn't want to take any chances," Rik
finished
when Zail paused, me summation accompanied by
334
SHARON
GREEN
a slow
nod. "Well, I think the time has come to take a few
chances.
Touch the wall, Zail, anywhere you like."
We all
stared at Rik in silence for a moment, wonder-
ing if
the strain had gotten to be too much for him, but at
lhat
point we scarcely had anything to lose. Zail shrugged
in a
what-the-hell way and turned back to the wall, stepped
closer
and raised his hand, then touched it flat without any
further
hesitation. Or, at least he tried to touch it flat. His
hand
went right up to the wall—then disappeared into it!
"Hey,
mere's nothing here!" Zail exclaimed while all
the
rest of us but Rik made sounds of shocked surprise.
"How
the hell did you know?"
"It
seemed to be the logical assumption," our now-
grinning
leader said modestly, turning his head slightly to
send a
wink to me alone. "The best ways to hide some-
thing
are out in plain sight or disguised as something else,
and the
way in wasn't out in plain sight. I suspect we were
supposed
to try breaking in somewhere else, once our
entrance
expert forced himself to admit defeat. Our enemy
knows
you, Zail, but not as well as he thinks he does. He
knew
you'd keep from touching the wall you were investi-
gating,
but he didn't know you'd tell us that you couldn't
find
the mechanism even though you were sure me entry
was
here. He also didn't know we'd believe you. Would
you
have been able to break in, Laciel? If we-hadn't
found
any other way?''
"Yes,"
I answered shortly, my mind concerned with
other
things than explanations. If most of Cloud's Heart
was
real, but the outer walls, at the very least, had been
spelled,
then that meant . . .
"Then
that settles it," Rik said with continuing satisfac-
tion.
"We were supposed to follow Zail around from one
place
to the other, then break in when he failed to get us in
any
other way. That means we'd better be careful how we
touch
the rest of these outer walls. We weren't being
channeled
toward a particular course of action for no
reason."
"Guess
I should have told somebody sooner that the
trail
leads right up to that fake wall and then stops," Su
said,
the words coming out with something very like em-
barrassment.
"Didn't want to get pushy, though."
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
335
"Pushy,"
Rik echoed with a sigh, shaking his head.
"Unwilling
to steal anyone else's thunder is more tike it,
and
don't tell me the enemy wasn't counting on that
attitude
as well. From now on we've all got to watch it, or
our own
natures will do us in. Are we ready to go inside
now?"
None of
us insisted on staying where we were, so we all
walked
from the invisible floor through the wall into Cloud's
Heart,
InThig going first. Once we were inside and standing
on a
scintillating crystalline floor, Dranna gasped while Zail
whistled
slowly, a perfect representation of me consensus
of
opinion. Cloud's Heart was absolutely magnificent,
filled
everywhere with the most spectacular beauty ever
created,
its high walls and ceilings soaring, its furnishings
glowing
jewel-like and perfect. Everything around us made
us want
to stand and stare, and it was with a good deal of
difficulty
that Su took up the trail again at last, forcing us
to
follow.
If we
had been attacked mere, in the midst of all that
beauty,
it would certainly have been easier on us. As it
was it
was all we could do to stay together, rather than
wander
off alone along some shining, beckoning corridor.
InThig
took it upon itself to^herd us along and not let
anyone
stray, growling in disgust all the while, but it took
the
sight of a floor-to-ceiling hanging of rubied lace to
bring
me out of it. That hanging reminded me of the plane
on
which I'd almost lost my life, and suddenly all the
beauty
I'd been dazzled by receded just enough to let me
take a
deep breath and blink the stardust out of my eyes.
Before
coming in I'd prepared a couple of spells but hadn't
yet
spoken them, and that sobered me even more than the
memory
of near-death had done. I got the spells said fast
in a
low voice, then took a minute to curse silently before
dimming
everyone else's sight to bring them out of their
trances.
We'd been subjected to a lot of ugliness in the
recent
past, most of it our own doing, and then we'd been
surrounded
by endless beauty. We'd been meant to suc-
cumb to
me beauty in our haste to escape the memory of
ugliness,
and if that isn't sneaking up from behind, I don't
know
what is.
After
that things went a little faster, if not exactly
336 SHARON GREEN
happier.
There was no more lagging or daydreaming from
anyone—aside
from Zail's very basic need to look at every
piece
of magnificence we passed—but Rik was visibly
annoyed
with himself for falling under the spell of loveli-
ness
along with everyone else. The sight of his annoyance
pleased
me no end, as there had been no end of annoyance
from
him through the previous three -worlds. When he
hadn't
been forcing me to take needed but unwanted naps.
he'd
been telling me how happy he was going to make me
once
the quest was over. He'd apparently learned his
lesson
about starting things that made other people get the
urge to
take a walk, but that hadn't kept him from coming
as
close to me as often as he could. When InThig was
around
he'd most often had other things to do, and that
had
annoyed me even more-
The
trail led to a wide stairway of marble, a handrail of
filigreed
gold to the left, and we began climbing past
portraits
on the right, renderings of the most beautiful
people,
animals, creatures and things ever born or created.
The
stairway went up and up, spiraling higher and higher,
until
we came to another wide-corridored floor much the
same as
the lower one. Again we walked through halls of
beauty,
backdropped by the lustrous white of dreams and
fantasies,
and then the real world returned when Su stopped
in
front of wide double doors.
"Trail
goes that way," she said, gesturing toward the
doors.
"Should I keep following?"
"We'd
better let Zail and Dranna do it," Rik decided
immediately,
answering the question that had been ad-
dressed
to him. "I find it hard to believe that it could be
this
easy."
It
wasn't that easy. Zail looked at the doors the way
he'd
been looking at the works of art, his gray eyes bright
with
appreciation, and then he pointed to an intricate
design
in jade and onyx on the left hand door.
"Dranna,
girl, do you think you can open that first?"
he
asked, obviously seeing something the rest of us were
missing.
I was being very careful not to use the Sight,
which
meant I couldn't see any more than the others.
"Why,
it is a lock, isn't it?" she answered as she
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
337
peered
closer, sounding as pleased as Zail looked. "And
not a
simple one. either. How delightful."
Without
looking away from the design she removed two
slender
somethings of metal from her dark curls, then
began
touching them to me jewels of the design. Su,
Kadrim
and 1 exchanged glances and faint shrugs, all three
of us
obviously feeling the same way; our definition of
delightful
and Dranna's didn't quite seem to match.
In an
unbelievably short time we all heard a loud click.
and
then Zail directed Dranna to the lock on the doors
themselves.
The second click came even faster, but when
Dranna
started toward the decoration on the righthand door
that
matched the one on the left, Zail stopped her.
"Not
that one, my sweet," he said with a grin, reaching
forward
to throw open the doors. "The placement of that
one
tells me it's set to undo the neutralizing produced by
opening
the first two locks in their proper order. Save that
marvelous
talent of yours for the next ones."
The
"next ones" he referred to were the locks in the
next
set of doors, no more than seven or eight feet past the
first
set. We'd gained access to a small, featureless room
with
nothing but the new doors in it, an accomplishment
only
insofar as it brought us that much closer to the stone.
The
next small room we gained access to had its doors
in the
right-hand wall, the one after that to the left, and so
on in
seemingly pattemless repetition. We passed through
room
after room with Zail reading the locks and Dranna
opening
them, and after a short while a stone of apprehen-
sion
appeared to put an edge on our boredom. I'd lost
count
of how many of the doors had had identical lock
patterns,
and so, apparently, had Zail. His careful exami-
nations
had degenerated to cursory inspections, the lure of
a
challenge no longer there to capture his complete atten-
tion,
and he had already gestured Dranna forward with
shrugging
indifference when he suddenly stopped and put
a hand
on her shoulder.
"Wait
a minute," he said, frowning at the doors he'd
already
looked at, stopping the rise of her slender metal
implements
which had been nearly to the first lock. "Some-
tiling
is faintly out of balance here, not quite right, not
what it
should—"
338 SHARON GREEN
His
words ended as he fell into that total absorption
which
had characterized his inspections at the beginning,
and
when he came out of it to turn back to us, his
handsome
face was grim.
"The
opening order is changed very slightly in these
doors,"
he announced, clear self-anger in his gray eyes- "If
1
hadn't caught the change they would have been opened in
the
wrong order, and that would have caused—whatever
it's
supposed to cause. All I can say is—I'm sorry."
"Why
be sorry?" Rik asked immediately before anyone
else
could speak, his amused satisfaction real. "You were
supposed
to be bored to distraction by all the repetitions.
so
badly bored that you let this change slip by. Since you
didn't
let it slip by, what's there to be sony about?"
Zail
looked at him for a long moment before a faint
smile
came to his face, and very quietly he said, "Thanks,
Rik."
Then he turned back to the doors, and gestured
Dranna
forward again.
After
that Zail practically took every door apart with his
eyes
before letting Dranna near the locks, but he wasn't
the
target any longer for our enemy's cute little tricks-
Two
doors later we discovered that it was Dranna's turn,
when
she opened a lock and then jumped back with a cry
of
disgust.
"It's
some kind of slime," Zail announced with vast
distaste,
examining the awful-smelling substance that had
squirted
out of the door pattern and over Dranna's hands
with
the click of the lock snapping open- "What's it doing
to
her?"
"It's
not doing anything but making me sick." Dranna
answered
for herself, pulling her arms out of Rik's con-
cerned
grip to wipe her hands on her skirt. Her face was
still
twisted into a look of extreme disgust, and her small
body
was shuddering. After a few minutes she calmed
down
enough to go on to the next lock, and I doubt if any
of us
were surprised when the same thing happened again.
The
second jetting was slightly different from the first, but
our
eyes and noses told us it was no less foul.
"Dranna,
why don't I make you a few pairs of gloves?"
1
suggested as 1 watched her frantically scrubbing her
hands
on her skirt, her thin metal implements on the floor
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
339
where
she'd dropped them, her skin taking on a definite
tinge
of green. "That way it won't matter what comes out
of
those doors."
"I
can't work with gloves on," she whispered in an-
swer,
struggling to control the illness rising inside of her,
"Any
glove, no matter how thin, keeps me from feeling
the
inside of the locks the way 1 have to. If 1 wear gloves,
I won't
be able to open anything."
"And
if you don't wear gloves, you won't want to open
anything,"
Rik muttered under his breath, turning away in
anger.
It was fairly clear that his anger wasn't directed
toward
Dranna, and needless to say, we all felt the same.
Even if
we talked or bullied Dranna into trying anyway, it
was
highly unlikely she would succeed. Her mind would
know
that opening a lock meant instant nausea, which in
turn
meant she would instantly find herself unable to open
anything.
The
rest of us moved a few steps away to discuss the
problem,
but there didn't seem to be much we could do. If
I tried
using a very small sphere to ward Dranna's hands,
the
warding was almost certain to interfere at least as much
as
gloves. Breaking through the doors was possible, but
that
was something the enemy^was obviously trying to
force
us into, which meant it was the last thing we should
do. The
only possibility left was for me to duplicate
Dranna's
ability in myself, which was guaranteed to take a
good
part of my strength. Creating tangible objects was
effortless
when compared to creating an ability, but I
didn't
see where I had much choice. Rik didn't like the
idea,
Su went along with him, Kadrim and Zail were
undecided
but unhappy, and InThig paced around with a
faint
growl, trying to think of something else- I was grow-
ing
very impatient with the lot of them, when a sudden,
unexpected
interruption came,
"I
think I'm ready to go on now," Dranna announced
from
the door she was standing next to, her entire bearing
still
showing her illness. "Which one do I do, Zail?"
Her
most immediate answer was six pairs of eyes staring
at her,
probably with mouths hanging open; Zail, having
been
addressed, managed to recover first.
"The
lower one," he answered faintly, then took one
340
SHARON
GREEN
step
forward with the hint of a headshake. "But I don't
understand.
Do you mean to say you're going on anyway,
even
though you know what will happen?"
"What
else am I here for?" she asked in turn, trying not
to
shudder at the "happening" Zail had referred to, "I
didn't
go through all those terrible things just to give up
now,
especially not when the enemy so obviously expects
me to
do nothing else. He did this deliberately, to make
me sick
enough to quit, and that's dirty. I'm going to keep
at it
even if it kills me."
We all
blinked at the fierce determination coming from
the small,
pale woman, then set up a cheer that made her
turn
away with a small laugh and a deep blush. There
hadn't
been one of us who had expected her to go on, and
I was
fairly sure she knew it. She could have used our lack
of
belief in her as an excuse for making no further efforts,
but
instead she'd turned her anger on the enemy and had
defeated
his purpose. We all owed Dranna more than an
apology
for what she'd done, and once we got back I
swore
to myself that she would get it.
After
that I stood near Dranna at the doors, and as soon.
as the
slime sprayed out I vanished it, then cleaned what
had
gotten on her before I could stop it. The routine helped
her
only a small amount, but it didn't have to go on. for
very
many doors. In a short while the horrible spraying
stopped,
and we all began wondering what the next obsta-
cle
would be.
The
answer came when we stepped through the latest
doorway
into an area much larger than the ones we'd
passed
through, and saw that instead of there being only
one set
of doors, now there were three. The ploy didn't
seem as
terrible as it should have been, but when we
looked
at Su, she shook her head with a frown.
"Don't
know how it can be, but the trail goes to all of
those
doors," she said, sounding more indignant than
upset.
"How could the stone be behind three separate
doors?"
"It
can't be," Rik growled, glaring at each door in turn.
"The
stone was probably carried through all three door-
ways,
but was left behind only one. All we have to do is
figure
out which."
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
34*
No one
was silly enough to suggest that we check them
all,
not when we knew that opening the wrong door was
guaranteed
to bring about something unpleasant. We had
one
chance and only one, but tossing a coin looked to be
the
most informative way of making the decision.
"There
must be some indication of which door to
choose,"
InThig fretted in the heavy growl that was be-
coming
more usual with it, moving only its head to study
each
door in turn. "Are you still unable to see through
these
walls, Laciel?"
"I
really don't think I ought to try," I answered, swiv-
eling
my head around the way everyone else was doing.
"I've
thought of a way to get through the repetition spell
covering
the outer walls, but it's a fairly obvious way once
you
think about it, and that makes me suspicious. If I
manage
to See through these walls, it might not turn out to
be the
triumph we're expecting."
"That
makes more sense than 1 like to think about,"
Rik
muttered, one hand to his face as he studied the doors-
"Lead
us all here, force the use of magic, and then—"
His
hands went up in the air in an unspecified gesture, but
we all
knew what he meant. The only thing capable of
keeping
the game going was exactly the right move. "That
means
we have to think our way eut, but we don't have
anything
to think about. All we can do is imagine the stone
being
carried from door to door—"
His
words broke off as his eyes narrowed, he stood
thinking
furiously for a short time, then said, "InThig!"
When
the demon raised its head in a questioning way, the
only
answer it got was the sight of the blurring which
presaged
Rik's change into link-shape. Dranna muffled a
gasp
and moved closer to Zail, but all the rest of us were
too
busy wondering what was going on to pay any atten-
tion to
her- In almost no time at all there was a great
bronze
beast standing where Rik had been, and then he
and
InThig were moving toward the set of doors on the
left.
The two
four-footed members of our party took a good
twenty
minutes or more examining me three doorways, but
at long
last they finished whatever they'd been doing. Rik
blurred
back into human shape, then looked down at InThig.
342
SHARON
GREEN
"That
has to be the one," he said, running a hand
through
his dark hair. "What do you think?"
"The
same," InThig agreed with a nod, the faintest
purr
audible in its voice. "That was a very clever idea."
* 'If
it was all that clever, how about letting the rest of us
in on
it?" I suggested, resisting the temptation to add
certain
verbal embellishments. That was no place to start
an
argument, but the provocation was certainly there.
"It's
very simple," Rik said, me pleasure in his bronze
eyes
showing how much he had appreciated InThig's com-
pliment.
"We know that the stone was carried up to two of
the
doors, but it could only have been left behind one.
That
means that the trail left by the person carrying the
stone
would have to be different leading up to the proper
door—there's
no other way it can be. It's not only me
stone
itself that leaves a trail, it also causes whoever's
carrying
it to leave a—scent -of sorts, the scent InThig
followed
to find the gate we'd be using coming out of the
blind world.
The door with the least or greatest or most
unbalanced
scent has to be the door leading to the stone."
"I
regret to say mat I find myself unable to follow you,
my
friend," Kadrim said, voicing everyone's thoughts but
Su's.
The big woman nodded with understanding, a faint
but
definite smile on her face, but she was the only one of
us not
totally lost-
"Look,
you just have to think about what's necessary to
do what
was so obviously done," Rik said, clearly trying
to
explain to a nonswimmer just how easy diving is.
"Carrying
the stone up to three doorways also means
carrying
it away from only two, which would make the
proper
doorway the one with the lightest scent. Or it
means
carrying the stone up to the proper doorway twice,
which
would make it the one with me heaviest scent. As a
last
possibility it has to mean that the doorway with an
unbalanced
scent, lacking the last time out, would be me
proper
one, but I was hoping it wouldn't come down to
that
fine a distinction. Happily it didn't, so I think we're
in. The
doorway with the lightest scent is the one to the
left."
Once
again looking at something became a group effort,
no one
voicing any of the doubts they might have felt- I.
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
343
myself,
could think of two or three ways to throw Rik's
calculations
out of whack, but 1 didn't care to mention
that.
We had to have some basis for the door we chose,
and
right then Rik's way was the only one we had.
? "Well, nothing ventured, nothing
gained," Zail quoted
'" in a mutter after taking a deep breath,
then he turned to
Dranna
with the beginnings of a gleam in his eye. "Or, if
you
prefer, in for a lamb, in for a sheep. Are you with me,
sweetheart?"
^ "I think I'd rather be behind
you," Dranna answered,
^ making us all chuckle, but she hadn't been
joking- She
^ followed Zail cautiously as he strode to
the lefthand set of
jg. doors, and 1 surreptitiously braced
myself. If that was
where
the stone was, then that might very well be IT.
Zail
studied the doors the way he had the outer palace
wall,
taking almost as much time and doing just as little.
As a
final effort he went to one knee and examined the
floor
under the priceless carpeting we stood on, then looked
up at
us with a shake of his head.
"There
doesn't seem to be anything on either of these
doors,
not even an ordinary, run-of-the-mill lock," he
said,
not pleased but also not uncertain. "Shall I do the
honors
again?" ^
"No,
this time it's my turn," I said before anyone
else—like
Rik—could voice an opinion. "Step back, please,
Zail. I
get to do this alone."
I moved
toward the doors with a great show of confi-
dence
and assurance, two things I would have needed
magic
to produce in myself just then. That innocent door
had to
be an invitation, and if my suspicions were right,
then I
had a date that had been set quite some time earlier.
Zail
stood up and gave ground just as I'd asked him to,
and
despite the beginnings of protests I could hear behind
me, I
put my hands on both doorknobs and pushed the
doors
wide.
To find
nothing but an empty, candle-lit room that was
black
as the rest of the palace was white.
"Could—that—be
it?" Zail asked in a very hushed
voice
from behind my right shoulder, his tone the closest
to
reverent I had ever heard it to be. The room was empty
of what
/ had been expecting to find, but it did hold a slim
344
SHARON
GREEN
pedestal
in its center, one that seemed to be carved out of a
single diamond,
and on the pedestal sat a small, silver-
trimmed
blue box.
"Unless
there's a gate, that's got to be it," Su said from
behind
me to the left, her voice more relieved than rever-
ent.
"The trail goes right up to that stand and then ends."
"Then
what are we waiting for?" Zail demanded with
laughing
eagerness replacing the awe. "Let's go get it."
"We're
waiting for mis," I said, putting up my left
hand
while my right arm kept him from moving past me,
The
gesture I made linked in one of my previous spells
with a
flash of bright orange, just the way it was supposed
to, and
then I was able to relax. I'd more than half
expected
the stone to be snatched away as soon as it was in
our
reach, but my spell had just negated any such effort
and had
proved beyond doubt that our quest had been
successful-
The stone was ours now, and whatever else the
enemy
had in mind would no longer involve the object of
our
search.
With me
necessary done we all entered me room, me to
move
around studying the smooth black walls, everyone
else
crowding around me pedestal to make satisfied noises
over
the silver and blue box. Or almost everyone else. I
looked
down from one section of the ceiling to find Rik
standing
next to me with folded arms, inspecting me the
way I
was inspecting the room.
"Find
what you were looking for?" he asked in a very
casual,
friendly way, then shook his head in answer to his
own
question. "No, you couldn't have, or you wouldn't
still
be looking. I'm not too bad at finding things- If you
tell me
what it is, I'll be glad to help."
"Thanks
anyway," I said, turning to move away from
him.
"I prefer handling it alone."
"The
way you preferred being the one to open me doors?"
the
pest pursued, following after me as though he were on
a
string. "What you're looking for couldn't have anything
to do
with that, could it? You couldn't possibly have
expected
to find our enemy in here?"
"It
was a logical expectation, but it looks like I was
wrong,"
1 answered with a shrug, silently cursing him for
figuring
it out. If he got in the way—! "What 1 didn't
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
345
I
Tri
fc
t
expect
was to have the stone simply handed over to us. It
doesn't
make any sense."
"What
doesn't make sense is the fact mat people let you
run
around loose without a nursemaid," he growled, pull-
ing me
about by one arm to face his growing anger.
"There
are seven people in our group, and you were going
to face
the enemy alone? Have you gone completely in-
sane?
Are you trying to get yourself killed? Do you think
you can
just . . ."
"Stop
yelling at me!" I snapped, trying to pull my arm
out of
his grip. "The enemy is a magic user and so am 1;
how
many of the rest of you are? What do you think you
can do
against someone who's sorcerer or wizard level?
Tire
him out by making him snuff you? Don't you see how
absurd
you're being?"
"All
1 can see is how thick-headed you're being," he
retorted,
his fingers still tight around my arm, his bronze
eyes
blazing. "No matter how good you think you are,
you
can't face the enemy alone! The rest of us aren't as
helpless
as you believe, but even so your wizard would be
an even
better ally. We're going to stop looking for trouble
and
take the stone back, and then we can ..."
"I
ask your pardon for interrupting, yet there is a matter
you may
wish to see to," Kadrim's voice came, more
worried
in general man worried over interrupting. We
turned
our heads to see Su standing with him, her own
expression
somewhat sober, and Rik's band finally left my
arm.
"What's
wrong?" he asked, immediately sharing the
bigger
man's worry. "Have you found signs of—?"
"No,
no, we have found naught of the enemy," Kadrim
answered
quickly, apparently having overheard some part
of our
recent exchange. "The difficulty lies with Zail and
Dranna,
and the needs which suddenly took them as they
approached
the container of the stone. Dranna looked upon
the
container, saw a lock more complex than any before it,
and
immediately voiced a need to try her skill against it.
Su and
I felt such a course of action might perhaps be
unwise,
yet Zail spoke words of encouragement, for he
was
gripped by the need to see the beauty contained
within.
Perhaps they should not . . ."
346 SHARON GREEN
"They're
trying to open it?" 1 choked out, suddenly ill
with
the realization that there had been one more trap.
"Quick!
We've got to stop them, we can't let it happen—!"
I broke
off and began pushing my way frantically be-
tween
the big man and woman, desperate to get to Zail and
Dranna
before they fell into me trap all the way, but it was
already
too late. Even as 1 took the first step toward them,
Dranna
voiced an "Ahhh!" of delight and Zail extended
his arm
with a grin, and men the top of the blue and silver
box was
thrown back and away.
No one
has ever been able to decide whether it's sight of
the
stone which captures you first, or hearing its song that
does
it. The stone was no larger than a palm-sized rock,
but beside
it the diamond pedestal it rested on grew dull,
and
awkward, and uninteresting. Light flared in colors like
a
joyous greeting, colors so heartbreakingly beautiful that
death
would have been preferable to looking away. It
glowed
with the shine of a raindrop on grass, light, grace-
ful,
achingly lovely, and even as our eyes feasted, our
bodies
thrilled to its song. Each note was a liquid rendition
of the
sight we gloried in, spreading all through us with
the
love of the universe, all pain washed away forever,
none to
ever come again. We stood transfixed, endlessly
grateful
to be held so, willing to continue on like that till
all
life everywhere faded and died. My eyes closed but I
lost
nothing of sight and sound, nothing of ecstasy beyond
description,
and then—
And
then the world ended with screams and shouts of
heartrending
protest, mine among them, and my eyes flew
open to
see the black form with blazing red eyes flowing
down
and away from the reclosed box. I shuddered even
as 1
screamed again, but in the far distance I heard another
scream,
one of rage and frustration, one so filled with hate
that to
hear it was to be given pain. The candles in the
black
room blazed like fountains of fire, thunder-claps
sounded
with the fury of destruction, and then all of me
palace
exploded around us, collapsing and dying and fall-
ing
away until it abruptly disappeared. Cloud's Heart be-
came
one with the clouds it was able to rest upon no
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER ,4,
longer,
and the ensuing silence was more deafening than
the
previous bedlam.
"It's
all right now, I think it's over," a voice said from
very
close beside me, and it suddenly came to me that I
stood
trembling in Rik's arms, my face buried against his
chest.
With the sound of that scream still ringing in my
mind,
the last thing 1 wanted to do was raise my head and
look
around, but of course that was the first thing mat had
to be
done- 1 had to make sure that everyone was all right,
and
when 1 finally managed to look around it seemed that
they
were. Kadrim and Su stood together, apparently lean-
ing on
each other, and Zail and Dranna were doing the
same.
InThig was floating in vapor shape, looking us all
over
with concern, and aside from we seven and the box
containing
the balance stone, nothing was left. We all
floated
above cloud-swirled emptiness, seven sparks of life
left
all alone.
"What
in me name of the Blue Firefall happened?" Zail
demanded
weakly, looking around in bewilderment as
Dranna
clung to him. "What was it?"
"Which
time?" Rik asked in turn, trying to sound light-
hearted
and amused, but not quite making it. lt! think we
now
know what would have happened if we'd made any
mistakes
coming in, but as far as the rest of it goes—'*
He
shook his head, admitting himself out of his depth,
and
that brought everyone's eyes to me. They were all
unnaturally
still, making no effort to move even an inch
from
where they stood—or floated—and that was com-
pletely
understandable.
"Before
I answer your questions, let me assure you that
you can
all relax," I said, pushing away from Rik to
demonstrate
that normal walking was possible. "When we
first
entered the palace 1 had the feeling that something
like
this might be done, so I took a precaution. I gave each
of you
your own invisible floor to stand on, complete with
warding,
and simply meshed the invisible floors in with
the
palace floors. You wouldn't have known they were
there
if you hadn't needed them, but unfortunately it didn't
work
out that way."
"Worked
out pretty fortunately as far as I can see," Su
commented.
Joining Kadrim in looking down. "Heights
348
SHARON
GREEN
never
bother me—as long as I don't have to fall through
them.
What happened with Zail and Dranna?"
"They
walked into a very faint, very simple spell," I
answered,
really feeling disgusted with myself. "Their
warding
wouldn't have allowed anything harmful to reach
them,
but the spell didn't contain anything harmful. All it
did was
intensify one certain aspect of their natures, the
same
aspect that made each of them perfect for this quest—
and me
same aspects that almost destroyed us all- Dranna
just
had to accept the challenge of the lock keeping the
box
closed, and Zail just had to look at the perfection
inside.
If I'd had any brains I would have anticipated
something
like that, and not left the saving of our necks to
chance."
"I
would hardly call my deliberate, well-thought-out
actions
no more than chance," InThig put in in injured
tones,
a black cloud of offended indignation. "I believe
we
discussed the matter of anticipating the unanticipated,
and
concluded that an effort to do so would have been a
complete
waste of time. We need only be thankful that life
forms
such as I am are not as susceptible to the Tears of
the
Mist as your own, and for that reason I was able to
close
the box again. I must admit it took some effort, but 1
was not
about to spend eternity in thrall to the work of the
EverNameless."
"I
guess mat told you," Rik murmured only loud enough
for me
to hear, forcing me to swallow a smile, and then he
cleared
his throat and went on in a more normal voice.
"But
there's still something I don't understand. I'm as-
suming
it was the enemy who blasted the palace apart
around
us, but then everything disappeared. Why should
something
like that have happened, and how did you Tmow
the
enemy was somewhere around here?"
"It
was obvious from the very first that the enemy had
to be
here," I told him. rubbing at my forehead with one
hand.
"The palace had been created here, and something
that's
created has to be maintained. An underling might
have
been left to do the maintaining, but that wouldn't
have
allowed the enemy a first-hand look at the end of this
game.
It was always possible for us to win, but me enemy
didn't
think we would; he was counting on destroying us
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
349
just
when we thought we'd succeeded. That's why he got
so wild
and blew up the palace around us, hoping to catch
us that
way, and gated out fast when it didn't work- As
soon as
he was gone, even the blasted remnants of the
palace
disappeared."
"Do
you mean mat the person who was willing to kill a
world
to get even with one man, is the same person who
created
all that beauty?" Dranna asked, still shivering
against
Zail. "How can that possibly be true? How can
such
ugliness and loveliness exist in the same mind?"
"That's
something we'll find out as soon as we get the
stone
back to Graythor," I said, using the chaining spell
I'd put
on the box to draw it over to me- "There are a
number
of questions he hasn't yet answered, but I intend
seeing
that changed. If nothing else, we've earned that
much."
There
was an air of uncertainty in the silence around
me, an
attitude that said you didn't demand answers from
a
wizard; under most circumstances that was true enough,
but I
no longer had patience for most circumstances. First
we
would get the stone back, and men we would leam
why
we'd had to go through all that.
CHAPTER
14
Getting
back to the gate was a bit nerve-racking for my
companions,
but once we were on solid ground they felt a
good
deal better. We retraced our steps through the third
quiet
world to the second, and then InThig mentioned that
it knew
a shortcut back to the world where we'd left the
horses.
I stopped to get some sleep before we tried its
version
of a shortcut, but the new route turned out to be
much
better than the original. On one of the four worlds
we came
under magical attack from living sand, but InThig
had
warned me beforehand and I was prepared. The rest of
the
four were no trouble at all, and we stepped out of the
gate
near our horses* pasture in less than half the time it
had
taken going the other way. We all greeted our mounts,
who
looked sassy and ready after their rest, and then we
went
into our newly created camp to get some rest of our
own.
It had
just about gotten to be full dark on that world,
and the
night sky above was showing a sprinkling of stars
in just
one small area, with all the rest of it an uninter-
rupted
black. It looked to be a very lonely sky with so few
stars,
and I hurried into my pavilion before tile chill of it
could
touch me. Inside it was bright and cozy with a good
meal
just waiting to be eaten, and even better than that
there
was a tub full of hot water. I used the wash water,
put on
my robe, ate my meal, then sat down on the settle
with a
glass of wine in my hand and InThig reflectively
350
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
351
quiet
at my feet. We had been discussing the fact that soon
we
would be back at our starting point, and then the others
would
be able to return to their own worlds. All the others. . .
"I
wanted to knock, but silk doesn't do well with that
sort of
thing," a quiet, self-assured voice said from the
tent
entrance. "May I come in?"
I
looked up to see the same quiet, self-assured smile on
Zail's
face, his body wrapped in a clean, comfortable robe
like
mine, his gray eyes taking in nothing but me. In actual
fact I
would have preferred being alone, but with the quest
journey
just about over, there was no need to insult anyone.
"Certainly
you may," I answered with what I hoped
was a
friendly but neutral tone, not missing the way
InThig
raised its head from its paws without commenting.
"Would
you like a glass of wine?"
"I
don't think I'd better," Zail said, crossing the floor
to sit
down next to me on the settle. "My head is already
swimming,
just from the sight of you. Wine on top of that
would
be like adding a cupful of water to the ocean."
"Oh,"
I said, looking down from those beautiful gray
eyes to
wonder what else I might say. I'd thought offering
a glass
of wine would be safe enough, but the warmth in
my
cheeks told me how wrong ffiat guess had been. Maybe
a
comment about the weather. . . 7
"This
journey is nearly over, and we still haven't bad
that
private dinner we promised ourselves," Zail said,
moving
just a little closer to me, his voice a velvet mur-
mur.
"It might be a good idea if we pretend that we just
had
that dinner, and go on from there. Have I told you
what a
beautiful woman you are, Laciel, and how my heart
thuds
like mad every time you stand anywhere near me?
Here,
you can feel it going right now—'*
He took
my free right hand and began raising it toward
the
front of his robe, obviously meaning to put it inside,
against
his chest- I knew he was under a spell and I didn't
want to
hurt him, and I also didn't want to act like a foot
of an infant
and snatch my hand back. The glass of wine in
my left
hand felt like a weighted shackle, chaining me in
place,
and I didn't know what I could do except sit there
and
watch my hand being moved closer and closer to
him. .
. .
SHARON
GREEN
352
"Perhaps
you ought to see a physician about the condi-
tion
when you return to your world," InThig said suddenly
and
very laconically, causing Zail to drop my hand as
though
it had burned him. "A difficulty with one's heart
is
often a serious matter."
"InThig,"
Zail said, looking down at the demon with
an
expression that led me to believe his heart really was
racing.
"You startled me, speaking up like that without
warning.
I don't know how I could have forgotten you
were
there."
"I've
learned that there are some people who regard me
as no
more than the animal shape I choose to wear,"
InThig
answered, quite a lot of teeth showing beneath its
blazing
red eyes. "Of course, I'm sure such an outlook
doesn't
apply to you, Zail, so you may certainly disregard
my
mention of it."
"Of
course," Zail echoed with a sickly smile, then he
seemed
to pull himself together a little. "InThig my friend,
Laciel
and I have been trying to be alone together almost
since
this journey first began. Since we're rapidly running
out of
time, we'd really appreciate it if you would take a
walk
for a while—say, for about an hour or so? As a
favor
from one quest companion to another?"
"Quest
companions may always ask favors of one an-
other,"
InThig returned, stirring not an inch from where it
lay.
"Unfortunately, Laciel and I now guard me balance
stone,
therefore is it necessary that we both remain in this
pavilion.
It was very thoughtful of you to come and visit
with
us, considering the fact that we can't go to anyone. It
will
relieve the boredom for Laciel."
"Yes,
well, I do usually try to be thoughtful." Zail
said,
the new smile on his face just the neutral one I'd
been
trying for. "I wanted to make sure Laciel was all
right,
and now that I see she is, I think I'll be going."
"Oh,
we wouldn't hear of your leaving so soon," InThig
said
very smoothly, half rising just as Zail began to get to
his
feet. "We insist you stay a while, and join our
conversation."
"Join
your conversation," Zail said, carefully watching
two
rows of very sharp teeth as he sank back down on the
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
353
settle.
"Join your conversation. Certainly. Maybe I will
have
just a little of that wine after all."
1 went
to pour a second glass of wine, wondering what
InThig
could be up to, but I wasn't able to figure it out. It
kept
Zail with us for more than the hour he'd asked for^
prodding
the conversation every time it faltered, which
was
rather often. Once the man had been allowed to
escape,
I tried to get to the bottom of the mystery by
asking,
but demons are famous for avoiding straight an-
swers.
By then I was too sleepy to press the point, so I
simply
went to bed and forgot about it.
Until
me following "day." Once we were mounted we
followed
InThig toward a different gate than the one we'd
used to
reach that world, a gate that would let us avoid the
blind
world and the ones before it as well. It was still just
about
nightfall on that world, giving us the feeling that
time was
standing still for all the universe, and after a
short
while 1 became aware of the fact that someone was
riding
next to me in the dark. I turned my head to see Rik
staring
at me in silence, his features hard to make out but
his
face definitely pointing toward me, the light, bantering I
attitude
he'd been using with me recently no longer apparent.
"I
suppose I can't make too much of a fuss about it,"
he said
at last, his voice strangely quiet. "Zail promised to
wait
until the quest was over, and last night was close
enough
to it. You—let him stay a lot longer than you did
me. Is
he—that much better, then?"
I put
forward my own silence at that, finally understand-
ing
that Rik must have been watching my tent the night
before—and
InThig had known about it. That had to be the
reason
why it had refused to let Zail leave at once; It had
been
trying to make Rik believe there was a man in my
life,
and because of that the bronze-eyed man would be
wise to
leave me alone. It had been a much more useful
ploy
than InThig knew—especially since everyone was so
close
to going home.
"Is
Zail better than you?" I repeated his question after a
moment,
keeping my voice steady for the sake of the man
who had
saved my life on the blind world. "In all honesty
I'd
have to say there's really no comparison."
"I
see," he said, the words a whisper in the night. "It
354
SHARON
GREEN
looks
like you were right all along, then. 1 wish you two
well,
and I hope you'll excuse me for having bothered
you."
His
horse increased its pace and pulled away from mine,
moving
up toward where InThig was leading the way, the
double
form of rider and mount a smoothly flowing shadow.
I
stirred in my saddle and put a hand to my gray's mane,
stroking
it gently through a sudden need for companion-
ship. I
knew Rik would be much better off after what I'd
said,
that he'd be relieved once the spell was off him, but
it's
never easy to give someone mat kind of hurt. Even
though
I knew beyond doubt that he didn't even like me,
what
I'd done still must have—hurt.
It
didn't take long to get to InThig's gate, and the
distances
across the next two worlds were equally as short.
The
enemy had lengthened the trip out for the purpose of
attack
against us, and there was no need to follow me
same
route back. The final gate transfer brought us back to
my
world on the far side of Geddenburg in middle morn-
ing,
and emergence was something of a shock. Instead of
the
pretty green woods that usually stood about five miles
from
the city, we came out into charred, blackened ruin
that
seemed to be not long removed from the smoldering
stage.
The horses shied nervously at the smell of recent
fire,
and then we all felt the tremor that gently shook the
ground.
"It's
already started," I said in upset, putting a hand to
my
mount's neck to calm him. "The instability is begin-
ning to
shatter the world."
"We'd
better hurry, then." Rik said as the others made
sounds
of shared upset, but it was easier said than dose.
We mounted
up and made our cautious way through the
blackened
stumps toward the road that led to the city, but
the
road was clogged with what seemed like half of all
humanity,
some of them streaming out of the cityf some
streaming
in- There were also knots of people arguing
about
which would be safer, being out in the countryside
when
the rest of it went up in flames, or being in the city
when
the buildings began to collapse. 1 touched my hand
to the
small box belted at my waist, then urged roy mount
into
the flow heading toward the city.
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
355
The
gate guards, when we finally reached them, were
few in
number, harried, and putting their brawn behind
what
was probably a brand-new city edict: anyone could
leave
if they allowed their personal effects to be searched,
but no
one was being permitted into the city. The regula-
tions
were obviously aimed toward keeping looting down,
but the
gate guards weren't the sort to interpret their orders
even if
they'd had the time. No one was going in through
their
gate, the big section leader informed us, and that was
coldly
and definitely that.
Kadrim
growled and reached for his sword, Su and Zail
did the
same without the vocal comment, and Rik drew
himself
up with glowing eyes while Dranna looked indig-
nant.
After everything we'd been through they weren't
about
to be held up by petty officialdom, but I knew that
starting
a brawl at the gate would only have wasted time—
almost
as much as trying to tell them what we were there
for-
Considering the way I felt about city Guardsmen I
wouldn't
have minded turning my quest companions loose
on
them, but there was a better way.
Once
we'd moved through the final gate, InThig had
returned
to vapor form and had put itself into a large
leather
pouch I'd hung from my saddle beside my right
knee.
The people of my world tended to become upset at
me
sight of a demon, and there had really been no need to
add to
their turmoil; now, however, 1 had found a reason
for
selective turmoil at the very least.
"But
we've come to bring something to the wizard
Graythor,"
1 protested before any weapons were drawn,
coating
the words heavily with innocence. "If you won't
let us
take it to him, then you'll have to do it."
"What—sort
of something?" the section leader asked,
immediately
suspicious and wary. Ordinary people tried to
have as
little to do with wizards as possible, and the
altitude
usually extended to the possessions of wizards.
"Just
this," I answered, lifting the flap of the pouch
and
holding it open for him to look inside. He approached
my
horse with only a bit of reluctance, willing to make the
effort
as long as he didn't have to put his hands into or on
anything
before checking it out, and peered inside- What
met his
glance was a pair of burning red eyes surrounded
356 SHARON GREEN
by
thick, roiling black, and the man didn't even have
enough
control of himself to gasp as his face went pasty
yellow.
He stood frozen in place, wide eyes locked into
staring,
and didn't move until I reclosed the flap on the
pouch.
Then he scrambled back, his look at me no longer
dismissive,
his dark eyes no longer officiously cold.
"Let
them through," he ordered his men hoarsely, well
aware
of the way they were staring at him. "On my
responsibility,
let them through." *
"But
what about me edict?" one of the men protested,
his
assistant section leader. "It said no one at all . . .'*
"1
said let them through!" the leader snapped, his face
beginning
to go dark again. "Or do you want to be the one
to
carry that—that—thing—for her?"
"If
there's only one pouch, why does it take six of them
to
deliver it?" the assistant persisted, a smaller man who
was
just short of stout, probably the brother-in-law or
nephew
of someone high in the city government. "One
pouch,
one rider, and the rest of them can stay outside. Of
course,
I'd never say anything, but if word got back to the
commander
mat you let all those people in for no reason. . ."
"AH
right, all right, have it your way," the leader
grudged,
hating taking orders from a subordinate but'clearly
having
no choice. "Let the girl through, and the others
can. .
."
"No,"
I interrupted, totally out of patience and not
about
to be pushed around by a worm with connections. I
looked
at the small, smug man in the uniform I had such
fond
childhood memories of, pointed at him, then spoke a
spell.
He yelped as five leather pouches materialized out of
the air
and dropped on his head, then paled when he
looked
back at me to see the palmful of blue fire I now
held.
"You
wanted five more pouches, now you have five
more
pouches," 1 told him, pinning him with the touchi-
ness in
my stare. "Either you say all of us are allowed
through
the gate, or 1*11 ask someone else for permission—
after
you're no longer able to lodge any complaints. Give
me your
answer fast."
"Yes,
yes, all of you can come in!" the man babbled,
backing
away and nearly tripping over one of the pouches
THE PAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
357
I'd
dumped on him. "On my responsibility, please, on my
responsibility!"
I
closed my hand on the blue fire, making it disappear,
then
urged my gray forward with a touch of my heel. The
people
still outside the gate were laughing and sounding
catcalls,
making me need to raise my voice a little as I
passed
the group leader.
"If
I were you, I'd report him for disobeying orders," I
advised,
watching him fight to keep from laughing like
everyone
else. "If he stays on the street in uniform, he
won't
live longer than a couple of weeks."
I was
beyond the man by then with my companions
following,
so he had no chance to answer even if he'd
wanted
to- Whether he took my advice or left his assistant
right
where he was, depended on whether or not he would
be
blamed for the smaller man's certain death. It was none
of my
business, though, and I had enough to concern me
that
certainly was.
"Don't
know why you didn't just break that gate down,"
Su said
as she drew her horse up beside mine, an uncharac-
teristic
annoyance in her. "Places all gated and walled
never
did feel right to me."
"1
would have loved to, btft I couldn't," I answered,
more
than sharing her annoyance. "Magic users take an
oath
when they begin their studies, to obey the laws of the
city
and defer to its officials. If you want to be technical
my oath
is now a little bent, but not without reason. I think
you'd
better pass the word back to everyone to be ready
for
anything."
She
looked at me with startled surprise, but didn't waste
any
time asking questions 1 wasn't yet prepared to answer.
Or,
possibly, couldn't yet answer- There were a number of
things
bothering me. odd incidents and unbalanced hap-
penings,
and the last part of our journey wasn't going as
smoothly
as I'd thought it would. I needed to get to the
question-answering
time that would come after the balance
stone
was back in place, but I had the distinct feeling there
were
still a number of incidents between me and that
long-awaited
time.
The
streets of the city were as crowded as they usually
were,
but not in the usual way. People moved along
358
SHARON
GREEN
carrying
bundles or riding carts, obviously on their way to
one of
the city gates, mutters rising among them every
time a
tremor shook me cobbles under them- Those who
stood
around talking or arguing went silent at the tremors.
and
afterward looked even more worried than before. La-
borers
and clerks and apprentice craftsmen might be free to
take
their families and leave, but men who had businesses
or were
responsible for some vital city function didn't yet
have
that option. The tremors didn't yet seem strong enough
to have
shaken down any of the heavy stone buildings of
which
most of me city was constructed, so all they could
do was
wait—and hope things got better before they got
worse.
The
deeper we rode into me city, the more me crowds
thinned—and
the more the number of Guardsmen increased.
Most of
them had groups of people in chains, street people
who had
been incautious enough to drift over to the wealth-
ier
part of the city in anticipation of disaster they could
take
advantage of. They were being rounded up as fast as
they
showed themselves, but that still left me ones who
weren't
stupid enough or careless enough to show them-
selves.
My own party drew a few narrow-eyed stares, but
none of
the patrols made any attempt to stop us; we were
well-mounted
and well-armed, and looters and sneak thieves
were
rarely either.
Graythor's
city house wasn't really his, but belonged to
the
Guardian of the Tears, whoever that happened to be. It
stood
in a square in the middle of a quiet residential area,
surrounded
by high-walled houses belonging to the city's
wealthy
and well-placed, an area that was now even qui-
eter
than it usually was- Heavy wood and metal gates
closed
off access to the neighboring houses, and when we
rode
into the wizard's courtyard, I found that everyone
was
looking around as carefully as Rik.
"I
really don't like the way mis place feels," he said,
looking
as though he were trying to see through the stone
and
plaster around us. "Are you absolutely sure the wizard
is
here?"
"I
tied to his trace as soon as we came through me
gate,"
I answered, dismounting with a frown for roe heavy,
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
359
brooding
silence. "He's here, all right, but 1 don't under-
stand
why his servants aren't ..."
A
sudden shout interrupted me, and then there were men
coming
at us from all directions, men armed with swords.
They
lacked the glazed look of those under a compulsion,
but
that doesn't mean they could be ignored or dismissed.
There
were a lot more than a dozen of them, and their
shouts
scattered the horses, but not before everyone had
dismounted—including
InThig. It settled to me ground and
solidified
to cat shape while the attackers grimly pretended
not to
see it, but it didn't move immediately to join the
battle.
"Laciel,
stop playing around and get the stone inside,"
it
growled with swishing tail while two of the attackers
foolishly
trying to close with me went up in blue flames.
"We
can handle these without you, so go ahead but be
careful.'"
It then
launched itself into the melee, pleased to purring
that
the attackers weren't simply running at sight of it,
joining
the rest of our companions who were already busy
swinging
their weapons. I hesitated no more than an in-
stant,
knowing InThig was right even if 1 didn't like it, then
grabbed
Dranna's arm and putted her along with me to-
ward
the house. She'd been standing helplessly behind me
during
the fight, and would be better off inside and out of
the way
no matter how things went.
I had
to flame another two attackers before we made it
to the
house, gesturing the door open just before we
reached
it so that we could scramble inside and slam it
closed
behind us. With the thick wood and metal door shut
the
sounds of fighting were abruptly cut off, returning us
to the
heavy, uneasy silence of a few minutes earlier. It
practically
rang through the large entrance hall, and when I
gestured
to Dranna to stay where she was, she made no
attempt
to argue. All our opposition wasn't outside with
the
others, and I think we both knew that.
Graythor's
trace said he was somewhere above, proba-
bly in
his workshop, so that was where 1 had to go. My
boots
were loud on the tiles as I crossed the entrance hall
to the
wide stairway, but I climbed it fast and reached the
carpeting
of the second floor before the sound got to me. I
360 SHARON GREEN
knew
that house well from many years of visiting and
exploring,
but I couldn't remember it ever feeling so dead
and
empty, even when the small army of servants hadn't
been
there- The wall hangings were normally conservative
rather
than dark, the carved doors leading to guest rooms
had
never brooded, and the small-flamed lamps spaced
along
the walls had never seemed on the verge of threaten-
ing to
go out all at once. It came to me that that whole
atmosphere
of dread had to be deliberate, and then it came
to me
that I was more annoyed than frightened, 1'don't
enjoy
that sort of game-playing, especially not when I'm
the
butt of the joke, and I couldn't wait to make that very
clear
to whoever was behind it all.
The
narrower stairway leading to the third floor was at
the end
of the hall, and although the closed-in area had no
windows,
it was normally well lit. This time when 1 turned
into it
I found it pitch black, the door at the top closed and
no
light leaking from under it. My annoyance flared even
higher
at such childish theatrics and I moved to take the
steps
two at a time just to show my disdain, but with my
foot on
the bottom tread a thought came to stop me. There
had
been a number of personal attacks during the quest
journey,
and those personal attacks had shown a knowl-
edge of
the characters of the people under attack, a knowl-
edge of
how they would probably act in a given situation.
Running
disdainfully up those stairs in the dark was per-
fectly
in line with my own character, and who else would
it be
coming up them but the one most familiar with
Graythor
and the house? I had to admit I was too stubborn
to have
learned much during our journey, but I had learned
a small
amount of caution.
I was
beginning to regret all the energy I'd carelessly
expended
that day, but I still spoke a word to create a
small,
private sun. The immediate glare of it made me
squint,
but as soon as my eyes adjusted I saw mat that
particular
energy expenditure couldn't be considered wasted.
Right
in the middle of the twelve-step flight, three of the
steps
had been completely removed, leaving a gaping hole
no
disdainfully hurrying young sorceress could possibly
have
missed. Kilting a magic user isn't easily done, but
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
361
even
the most powerful wizard ever bom will succumb to
an
unprepared-for broken neck.
I took
a deep breath and considered dousing my sun,
then
left it where it was and began climbing the stairs,
putting
my own step in the middle of the opening and
getting
past it that way. I made it to the top without further
incident,
reached for the doorknob, then drew my hand
back
and gestured the door open. The rules of the game
had now
been changed, and if there was one thing I
recognized,
it was go-for-broke.
Graythor's
third-floor workshop was usually lit by magic,
which
made it unnecessary to unshutter the windows or
light
the few candles the large room boasted. As I stepped
through
the doorway I could see that only those few
candles
were lit, which gave the shadowed room a feeling
of
emptiness and cobwebs rather than me bright neatness it
usually
had. Over near the wall to my right, directly
beneath
one of the candles, me real body of Graythor lay
very
still on a slab of stone, as empty-seeming and dead as
the
rest of the house. I knew I was probably expected to
rush
right over there, but instead I moved farther into the
room
and glanced around the shadows.
"Unless
you have a special entry prepared, mis time
you
can't run," 1 said with all the obnoxiousness I was
capable
of, finding the patch of shadow I was looking for
and
staring straight at it. "I know you're very much afraid
of me,
but this time you'll have to force yourself to face
me."
"Afe,
afraid of you?" a surprising voice answered, a
voice
filled with outrage and scorn. "The day will never
come
when I'm afraid of a mere child, a crude beginner!
Luck
and the presence of the others saved you until now,
but
that's all over with. Now I will crush you!"
Having
detected the presence of an entry, I'd been
afraid
the enemy would use it, but the figure stepped
forward
out of the shadows, committing to another course,
just as
I'd wanted, A casual flick of my finger, easily
missed
in me purposely-created gloom, sent the entry far
enough
out of line to be useless as an escape hatch, and
then I
gave all my attention to the one who had caused so
much
misery and pain. We'd mentioned the enemy many
362 SHARON GREEN
times
during the journey, saying he'd done this or had
wanted
that; the truth of the matter was that he'd done
nothing.
She
had.
"You're
startled and surprised," the woman said, a
spiteful
smile on her very beautiful face. "I led you through
a dozen
different worlds, and still you never guessed.
You're
not very bright, are you?"
"Apparently
not," I said with a shrug, studying, her
thick,
glorious black hair and honey-colored eyes, her
small
but very well-made body, her beautiful fur-trimmed
red
riding outfit, the grace and elegance in her least move-
ment or
gesture. "To tell the truth, it never occurred to me
that
any woman could be so warped. I've heard it said that
women
aren't better or worse than men, only worse, and
you
seem to prove the contention."
"I'm
not only better man men, I'm also better man
other
women," she said with a very ladylike snort of
disdain,
dismissing what I'd said to anger her as though
I'd
been referring to someone else. "I happen to be per-
fect,
more perfect than anyone ever bom or created, more
perfect
than you're capable of understanding. There's never
been
anyone like me, or ever will be again."
"Perfect,"
I repeated with more nausea than pity. and
then I
really heard something else she'd said. "Wait a
minute,
what did you mean, born or created? I know of
only
one world whose people are created, and they aren^t
really
alive—or in any way human. On this world people
aren't
created, they're—"
I broke
off when I saw the secret, triumphant look on
her
face, the look that said I'd picked up on exactly what
she'd
wanted me to, something she hadn't wanted to say
straight
out. But was that what it was? That she'd, some-
how
been created? Considering the power and ability it
would
take to create an actual, living person, I was some-
what
skeptical about the truth in that—and then I stiffened
as
another idea came to me, one that began to answer a
few
questions.
"Yes?"
she prompted very brightly, moving a slow step
to her
left so that more of the candlelight would fall on
her.
"Was there a question you had?"
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 363
"No,
more like a belated guess," 1 said with a headshake,
making
sure I kept her the center of my attention. "Your
comment
about being created— You were able to steal the
balance
stone because it was Graythor who created you,
wasn't
it? He told you how to approach the Tears, and you
used
that against him.**
"I
really do think I must take back what I said about
your
not being bright," she crooned, all the triumph in the
universe
blazing out of her eyes. "Yes, it was Graythor
who
created me, but I'm not able to say that to anyone
who
doesn't already know, and until now there was no one
but
Graythor himself. How absolutely delicious that soon
the
whole world witi know, that he created not only a
woman,
but one with the Sight. Then they'll also know
how I
was able to simply walk away with the balance
stone."
"Because
he couldn't bring himself to stop you," I said
with
another nod, raising my hands to rub at my arms-
"And
your being Sighted means you maintain your exis-
tence
spell all alone, without needing him always near
you.
That was probably his second biggest mistake."
"He
said something very much like that just before I
took
the stone," she pouted, and men suddenly her entire
attitude
changed. All the pettiness and high-handedness
melted
completely out of her face and bearing, and nothing
was
left but a very small, very beautiful woman. "Oh, I
try to
put on a brave front, but you have no idea how
horrible
it's been for me," she said, the expression in her
eyes
now very soft and very sober. "He taught me every-
thing I
wanted to know about magic, but he refused to let
me out
of his sight, refused to let me associate with other
magic
users. For years I was his prisoner, locked away
here or
in one of his other houses, no one but servants or
stablehands
to talk to if I grew bored. And then, when the
day
finally came that he showed me the—the real reason
he'd created
me, not as a companion but as—a—a—victim,
I knew
I had to do something to escape him, and to tell the
world
what he's really like! I had to show everyone, in the
most
public way possible, and that's what I did!"
She was
gently wringing her delicate hands now, misery
flowing
out of her like an aura, a pleading for belief
364 SHARON GREEN
putting
a glint of tears in her lovely eyes. I doubted there
were
more than a dozen people anywhere, mate or female,
who
wouldn't have opened their arms wide to offer her
what
comfort they could, just as they would have done
with a
poor, injured fawn.
"No
wonder he refused to let you associate with other
magic
users," I observed, my cool answer putting a hint
of
surprise in those lovely, tear-bright eyes. "You must,
have
learned how to do that almost from the very begin-
ning,
and one doesn't expose friends to one's dangerous
experiments."
"What—what
do you mean?" she stumbled, still going
for it.
tt! don't understand what you're saying."
"What
I mean is that that routine would probably have
had
every sorcerer and male wizard challenging each other
in
earnest, just to win the chance to touch your hand," I
explained,
this time deliberately folding my arms. "Rather
than
decimate the ranks of the Sighted, Graythor kept you
isolated
while he tried to figure out what he'd done wrong,
probably
hoping he could undo it. It's too bad he didn't
scrap
the experiment and forget all about it."
"How
can you say that to me?" she asked in a strength-
less
whisper, the tears now rolling down her cheeks. "I
know I
insulted you earlier, but I was afraid you would try
to hurt
me without giving me a chance to explain! If you'd
ever
been hurt by a man, had ever been taken advantage of
by
someone stronger the way I was, then you would
understand—and
maybe sympathize just a little."
Oh, she
was really good, that one, and I was able to
appreciate
just how good when I felt myself brushed with a
general
suppression-release counterspell. Somehow she had
found
out about the suppression spell Morgiana had put on
me, and
had just touched me with the counterspell that
would
have released it—if it hadn't already been released.
My
magical defenses had made no attempt to stop me
counterspell,
of course; release from involuntary suppres-
sion is
a positive act, and my defenses were set to counter
only
negatives- If the counterspell had done what it had
been
expected to do, I would have regained all those
memories
with a jarring crash, and then would have imme-
diately
been on the small woman's side.
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 365
"I'm
afraid I'm all out of sympathy where you're con-
cerned,"
I told her, trying to keep my fury from building
out of
control. "Graythor never took advantage of you,
he's
not that kind of a man, but I'll bet you took enough
advantage
of your own. He probably gave you everything
you
asked for—until you asked for one thing too many. I
wonder
what that could have been."
"I
wanted him to make this world a better place for
someone
as perfect as I am!" she spat, apparently more
angry
over her trick not having worked man over anything
I'd
said. She was a true and complete egotist—as well as
completely
insane. "This world has things and people that
offend
me, but he refused to wipe them out!" she blazed,
fee
useless act discarded like a cape dropped from shrug-
ging
shoulders. "He—refused—me, and that was when I
first
realized how much I hated him. I took the balance
stone
and put it out of his reach, but he sent the seven of
you
after it and you got it back! Now he's hiding away, his
mind
gone from his body so I won't be able to make him
help me
again, but I don't need his help! When he returns
and
awakens he'll be devastated, because he'll know that
the
balance stone was brought back in time to save this
filthy
world, but I was here td^take it again! And I will
take it
again!"
She was
nearly foaming at the mouth by then. her small
hands
closed to fists as she leaned toward me in her rage,
absolute
determination in every line of her body. The next
instant,
with her lips moving near-soundlessly, a raging
green
whirlwind attacked me, trying to draw the breath
from my
lungs and the life from my body. The strength
behind
the attack was considerable, all of her energies
directed
toward my destruction, and I understood at last
why the
ambushers coming at us a few minutes earlier
hadn't
been under compulsion. She'd been saving every-
thing
she had to face me, as she'd clearly suspected—or
expected—she
would have to do. She hadn't used the
entry
because she hadn't wanted to, not because I'd in-
sulted
her into facing me.
The
violent green whirlwind raged around me, scream-
ing
silently in its attempt to break through my shielding,
but
that shielding wasn't the result of a minute or two of
366 SHARON GREEN
casual
spelling. I had to brace myself against the sheer
power
of the attack, but aside from that it didn't reach me.
After
about fifteen seconds I raised my left hand and spoke
a spell
of counterattack, and great yellow sheets of light
appeared
and began to weave their way into the green
whirlwind,
erasing whatever sections of it they touched. In
no more
than another few seconds all but a lingering hint
of the
whirlwind was gone, leaving nothing behind but a
faint
green coloring of the room's shadows.
"That
was very pretty," I said, wondering if it would
be
possible to do something that had just occurred to me.
"Next
time let's use pink and red with maroon highlight-
ing. Or
would you prefer a different color scheme?"
"You
don't fool me," she sneered, straightening from
the
pose she'd held through the attack. "Your counter was
more
passive than active, with less strength than it should
have
had- How much magic have you had to use today,
girl?
How far have you drained the pitiful amount of
power
you have to begin with? And, more importantly,
how
much do you have left? Not enough, I'll wager, to
keep
this up for long!"
And
then she was at me again, with bright orange
streaks
of lightning that tried to skewer me where I stood.
This
time I called large brown cushions into being to
accept
the thrusts of the orange streaks and then absorb
them,
but all she did was laugh at my efforts even though
they
were successful. Once again my counter had been
more
passive than active, and even as I lowered my left
hand I
was as aware as she of the faintest of tremors in it. I
had
used a tot of magic that day, not to mention moving
five
people and six horses through a couple of gates, but 1
couldn't
afford to be tired. I couldn't afford to be tired,
and 1
wouldn't be!
"If
I'm all that helpless, then you won't mind joining
me in
Hellfire combat," 1 said, touching my hand to the
box of
the balance stone hanging at my waist. I couldn't
let
that woman—that creature—regain possession of the
stone
no manor what it cost me, and as painful as the
combat
would be, it would still be better than the other
idea
I'd had. "What do you say. Lady Perfection? Would
you
like to form the combat cylinder, or shall I?"
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
"There
will be none of that!" she snapped, suddenly no
longer
amused, her body stiff rather than simply still "I
could
hardly be adept at Hellfire combat when I've never
been to
even a single Conclave, and I won't have you do
to me
what you did to Draffan. If you try and I'm about to
lose,
I'll send my own Hellfire to Graythor's helpless
body!"
"Leaving
his mind nothing to return to," I said with
growing
disgust, and then another realization came to me.
"Draffan,
you said! That's the name of the Sighted I faced
that
night at the inn, right at the beginning of the journey.
That
must have been you disguised as the barmaid, so you
were
there—and made not the least effort to help your
dupe
when he was about to lose his life for you."
"And
risk revealing myself so early in the game?" she
asked
with a sound of derision, tossing her head. "1
wanted
to see you all suffer first, and that's what 1 did-
Now I'm
growing bored with this, and I want to see it
end."
Her
third attack was blazing silver discs cutting at me,
but
even as I fended them off I began the process of
gathering
to me every breath of strength I had, and then I
began
building the spell I hadn't wanted to use. If I could
have
spared the concentration I would have begun shaking
in
fright, but 1 hadn't the time to be frightened, not even at
the
thought of using unSeen magic. There was nothing to
See
with unSeen magic, nothing but a concept or an idea,
nothing
to describe in detail but the nebulousness of thought.
It was
black, black for the lack of solidity, black for the
lack of
true knowledge—and black for the picture of the
rest of
one's life, should the spell be the least bit off.
Steadiness
stayed with me, but the warmth of life did not; I
gathered
what I needed, and me ice of fear as well.
And
then I thrust the last of the discs away and began
my own
attack, the only attack 1 would have the time or
the
strength for. I stood straight and tall as I raised my
right
hand and began speaking me spell, a spell which, as
far as
I knew, had never before been spoken. The woman
frowned
as she heard the words, trying to translate them to
something
she could understand, but then distraction came
when
she pushed at my strength and couldn't move it. The
368 SHARON GREEN
power I
gave to the spell was building an ever-thickening,
invisible
sphere around her, and push though she might
with
all of her strength, she wasn't finding it possible to
break
out of it.
"What
are you doing?** she cried, putting her arms out
to
either side of her, as though to keep the invisible walls
of the
sphere from crushing in on her. "Where are you
getting
all that strength? You can't possibly have'that
much
left, you simply can't!"
"I
don't,'* I told her in what felt like deep distraction,
most of
my attention and all of my concentration on main-
taining
that thickening sphere. "What I'm using is the
reserve
reservoir I began building the day I nearly ran out
of
strength and also nearly died because of it. You sent
that
beast through the gate to attack us inside my warding
of our
camp, and ever since then a small bit of whatever
power I
used was shunted into the reservoir for storage.
Against
need. Like now."
"No,"
she whispered, shaking her head, her arms still
out
against the tightening sphere. "You couldn't have
done
that! You—! What are you doing?"
"I'm
creating a very small world," 1 told her, floating
in my
effort to hold the necessary concentration. "When
me
world is complete there will be nothing in it that can't
be
found in this world—except that magic won't be possi-
ble- It
won't simply be a blind world, it will be dead, no
magic,
no magic use, no magical ability of any sort. In-
just a
little while."
"No!"
This time she screamed the word, finally under-
standing
what my spell had been about—and what it meant
to her.
She had been created by magic, and only her own
magical
ability maintained her existence; in a world with-
out
magic she would not simply be unSighted, she would
simply
not be. It was a horrible thing to do to her. but 1
hadn't
been able to find another way.
"I
won't let you!" she screamed, white-faced and terri-
fied,
and then she turned back to the entry she'd chosen
not to
use earlier. She tried to approach it, found that she
couldn't,
then whirled back to face me with her hands to
her
head. "Eppan, help me!" she screamed, the terror
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER 369
raging
inside her plain in her body and face. "Eppan, if
.^yottlove
me you have to kill her!"
'"Even
if I hadn't been holding the spell I wouldn't have
known
what she was talking about, and then I caught a
movement
in the shadows to my left, just out of the comer
of my
eye. The movement came again and then the figure
of a
man appeared, stepping out of the shadows he'd
apparently
been in all along. He was a very big man,
roughly
dressed in homespun and worn boots, not the least
sense
of Sight about him, his long face in need of a shave.
As he
moved closer to a candle I could see the way he
looked
at the woman, with adoration and overpowering
love,
and then I saw him turn his head to me. A snarl of
rage
took him as he quickly drew a knife from his belt,
and
then he was moving toward me with deliberation, his
intention
clear.
"Kill
her and I'm yours, Eppan!" the woman urged,
pulling
at the collar of her riding habit. "I won't leave you
behind
to guard my escape, I'll take you with me! Kill her
before
she kills me!"
The maa
paused to throw a look of ecstacy over his
shoulder
before continuing on, and the cold that had begun
its
climb in me earlier completed*the journey. Everything 1
bad was
wrapped up in holding that spell around the
woman,
and that included what usually maintained my
personal
defenses; if I tried to protect myself from the man
with
the knife, I would lose my hold on the woman. If I
lost my
hold 1 would never get it back again, but if I just
stood
there he would kill me. My head was whirling with
the
effort I was making and my mouth was dry with the
fear of
death, but the woman was gasping inside the
sphere,
as though it was air being pushed out instead of
magic,
and that meant I coul<ln't let go! The man was
getting
closer and the dizziness was increasing, and I was
suddenly
afraid I couldn't hold out any longer. The knife
in his
hand was rising high, getting ready to come down,
and
then—
And men
a flash of rust-colored leather went past me,
thudding
into the big man and knocking him backward.
They
hit the floor together, the two of them, two big men
fighting
for the possession of a knife, and I couldn't quite
SHARON
GREEN
370
hear
the scuffling of their struggle through the ringing in
my ears.
The woman in the sphere was on her knees, her
face
showing that she was trying to scream, her hands
tearing
at her throat. I began to feel the lack of air myself
then,
my lungs already starting to labor, my hand to my
mouth
to keep the illness from spilling out. and men the
woman
in the sphere winked out of existence—and so did
1.
CHAPTER
15
I came
awake and stretched luxuriously, really enjoying
the
comfort around me, no longer tired but feeling too lazy
to make
any more of an effort. Stretching was just about
the
only effort I was up to right then, an effortless effort,
no
magic needed, nothing but—
Magic!
And effort' Had 1 done it? Was it over?
"Never
sit up that fast, child, it will make you dizzy,'*
Graythor
said gently, leaving his'chair to come over to the
bed 1
now sat in.'I was dizzy from sitting up so fast, but
there
were concerns a lot more important than that.
"What
happened?" I asked with one hand to my head,
the
other to the empty place at my waist, almost afraid to
voice
the words. "Did I do it, or did she get the stone
again?
Graythor, tell me—!"
"Everything
is fine, so just calm yourself," he soothed,
sitting
down on the edge of me bed to face me. "The
balance
stone is returned to its proper place, the upheavals
are all
but stopped, and every member of your quest com-
panionship
has survived to talk about me experience. A
number
of them were wounded in the last encounter, but
I've
seen to it that they're now fine."
"All
but you," I said with the sudden wave of pained
understanding
washing over me, putting one hand out to
hesitantly
touch his. "Oh. Uncle Graythor, I'm so sorry!
ff
there had been any other way—!"
"No,
now, don't start feeling sorry for doing what had
SHARON
GREEN
372
to be
done,'' he said as he took my hand in both of his, his
sallow
face serene but his dark eyes filled with the pain of
eternity.
"It was something I couldn't do for myself,
Laciel
child, so you had to do it for me. In the two days
you've
been asleep, I've come to terms with my feelings
as
completely as I ever will."
Which,
from the look of him, didn't seem to be more
than
halfway, if that far. I took a tighter grip on one of his
hands
to make sure he didn't pull away—and to keep the
contact
for myself as well—and began to bring myself
down
from flapping.
"I've
been sleeping for two days?" 1 asked, taking a
deep
breath. "In these same clothes? I knew I was drain-
ing
myself down to empty, but 1 didn't think it would take
me that
long to come back."
"It
took as long as it had to, and if you hadn't needed
the
time, you would have awakened sooner," he said with
a hint
of his old, crooked smile, but then the lightness
faded
again. "You might as well ask now, you know.
Avoiding
the issue and saving it for later won't make it the
least
bit easier."
"That's
right," I said with a nod. "1 forgot you've had
two
whole days to adjust to the thing, so I don't suppose
you'd
mind telling me why. Nothing more complex than
that,
just why."
"Nothing
more complex than that." he repeated with
the
faint smile back again, squeezing my hand once before
letting
it go. "I suppose what you're asking basically is a
simple
question. Why did I create her. The answer, just as
simply,
is that I was lonely."
I
looked at him, not understanding, and the warmth I
had
always enjoyed in his eyes returned as he put a gentle
hand to
my face.
"Laciel,
my very dear girl," he smiled. "While you
were
growing up my company was always a source of
pleasure
for you, a delicious event to be anticipated, a
delight
while indulged in, a satisfying memory when over.
I was
always 'Uncle' Graythor, and your unfeigned enthu-
siasm
was the bright spot of my life from the day it first
began.
You've grown to be an intelligent, capable woman
THE FAR
SIDE OP FOREVER
373
and
sorceress, but the one thing you're still unable to See
''IS
that other people don't share your opinion of me."
"Living
proof that even the Sighted can be short-
Sighted,"
I said, making a rude sound to underscore my
opinion.
"And what about Morgiana? She's always felt
close
to you."
"Yes,
she has," he conceded with a sober nod of his
head.
"She's been a close, true friend for more than a
century,
but please note the word 'friend'. Many, many
years
ago Morgiana fell in love, and when he died her
love—the
love of a woman for a man—died with him.
She's
never been able to feel the same toward any other
man,
and that's what 1 found myself lonely for: the love of
a woman
for a man."
He rose
from the bed and began to pace, his hands
behind
his back, his head down as he sought within him
for
answers to his own questions.
"It's
far from easy being one of the most powerful
wizards
alive, Laciel," he murmured. "Most people fear
you
terribly, even those who are Sighted and should there-
fore be
less easily impressed. Those who claim to want to
be your
friend aren't always looking for friendship, and
the
time comes when it's no longer easy to distinguish
between
those who want no more tnan companionship, and
those
who do. There are people of normal appearance who
^ow to
feel that way—consider how a man such as 1, an
ugly,
twisted man, might come to feel. I could easily have
changed
my looks, of course, but I'm afraid I'm a bit too
proud
to spend my life behind a lie.
"I
discovered when I first became a wizard that there
are
always women available to the powerful, women who
come
willingly and with great eagerness, women who will
remain
with a man and give him everything he desires for
what he
is able to give them—or almost everything. The
one
thing they seldom, if ever, give is their heartfelt love,
a thing
of little value to many, a thing as precious as life to
others.
I reached a time when I could no longer bear the
loneliness,
when I felt I must have that heartfelt love or
perish,
and that was the time I became determined to do it.
I
created a woman—but one who would be capable of
loving
a man such as I."
SHARON
GREEN
374
"What
do you mean, a man such as you?" I asked
when he
fell silent, standing in the middle of the room.
stanng
down at his feet. "What I'm trying to say is, what
specifically
did you do to make yourself a love object for
her?
What did you have to specify to make her capable of
loving
you?"
"I
specified that she be capable of loving ugliness," he
answered
in a tone that said he was stating the obvious,
raising
his eyes again to look at me. "She was absolutely
magnificent,
the most beautiful and complex thing I ever
created,
and at first she was wonderful to me. She loved
me the
way I'd always wanted to be loved, and we both
were
very happy—and then things began to change. The
gifts 1
gave her dissatisfied her, the servants dissatisfied
her,
the house, the gardens, the sky! She began to take
more
pleasure in looking at herself than at anything else
around
her, and the—manner—she had somehow learned
to
adopt put everyone exposed to her at her mercy. I had
meant
to marry her, and introduce her at Conclave as
having
come from a far-distant world, but after she began
to
change I realized that I first needed to learn what had
gone
wrong with her. I pored over my notes, conducted
dozens
of experiments, even attempted to talk with her,
but all
to no avail. At last she—demanded something
so—abominable—of
me that I flatly refused to even con-
sider
it, and the next day she was gone with me balance
stone.
I should have followed after her myself, but I
discovered
that the thought of harming her was beyond
me.
Instead I gathered you and your quest companions,
and
even now, with the whole matter completely resolved,
I still
don't know what I did wrong."
"I'll
bet I know," I said, inspiration creeping up on me
and
straightening me where 1 sat. "It's so obvious if you
only
look at it in the right way."
Graythor
was looking at me rather wan it, and his
expression
was made up of blankness, surprise, a little
confusion—and
just a hint of reproach. It isn't usual for a
sorceress
to be able to See something a wizard can't, but
that
wasn't the sort of sight I'd been referring to.
"Uncle
Graythor, do you remember teaching me about
balance
in magic?" I asked, secretly pleased to be able to
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
375
.^lecture
him about something. "You pointed out that that
^t»lance
was only an extension of the rest of nature, that
balance
always occurs even if we can't see it right away.
la
order for you to create a woman capable of loving
Ugliness,
you also had to create one who hated beauty. I'm
sure
you weren't consciously aware of it when you devised
your
spell, but in order for nature to balance, it had to be
that
way,"
"I'm
afraid I didn't consider that at all," he said with
an
inward-turned frown, the distraction in his eyes saying
he was
probably reviewing his spell. "That may account
fix
some of her later behavior, but at first ..."
"At
first she was like a newbom. and knew only what
you
told her," I interrupted, determined to divert him from
what he
considered happy memories. "I'll bet you were
careful
to explain that it was ugliness she could love, and
Ohat
you were ugly. She, of course, took your word for it,
especially
since she could see the difference between your
looks
and those of your servants.
"But
that was when she knew almost nothing about the
worid,"
I plowed on, refusing to let him interrupt. "The
more
days and weeks she lived, the more she learned, and
what
she learned most about, Fm sure, was ugliness. It
was
something she was literally treated to love, so it
would
have been natural for her to search it out. I'm sure it
didn't
take her long to discover that the greatest ugliness
doesn't
lie in the physical, but on another plane entirely."
He
looked at me sharply, knowing I was trying to make
a
point, but he wasn't going to help me with that point.
"Do
you remember that plane I almost died on?" I
asked,
not about to let him off the hook. "Physically it
was the
most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, but the death it
hid was
so hideous that I still shudder when I think about
it. If
you want to find the best in ugliness, so to speak, you
go
looking for the things that woman found. Like falling
madly
in love with your own self, and putting the welfare
of that
self above anything and everything. Like turning
'
people into adoring zombies, ones who arc even willing to
give up
their lives for you. Like creating the most beautiful
tilings
ever seen—just so you can destroy them. Like
delighting
in the thought of the death of millions of inno-
376 SHARON GREEN
cent
people, brought about for die sole purpose of hurting
one
individual. If you want to talk about the physical, I'm
sure
the mutilation of living things and people would have
given
her a chuckle or two, but not much beyond that."
"And,
of course, that was the reason she began hating
the
things around her," he said with a sigh of pain,
hanging
his head. lt! would point out to her the beauty in
things,
and all she could do was hate mem. Balance. I had
forgotten
all about that, but happily not when I thought
about
the one who would be capable of defeating her.''
This
time I was me one who didn't understand, and his
faint,
crooked smite came back.
"There
were two major reasons I chose you, and neither
of them
had anything to do with me closeness of our
relationship,"
he said. "If I could have spared you me
arduous
journey I knew you would have, I would certainly
have
done so, but your presence was vital. At some point
mere
was bound to be a confrontation between you two,
and I
required someone who could withstand her. Another
woman
like herself would naturally have been me best for
that,
but 1 also needed one who would not fall victim to
her
wiles. She truly joyed in making people loathe'her,
and
then using that—manner—of hers to mm mem ador-
ing. It
was a virtual certainty thai she would attempt the
thing
during the final confrontation, as proof of her true
superiority,
knowing nothing about that inch-thick intoler-
ance of
yours. When people are open and direct with you,
you're
the same with mem; when they first try to, use
duplicity,
however, they afterward find it impossible to
gain
your trust. The intolerance in you raises a barrier of
sorts,
and I've never seen anyone breach that barrier."
"What
you call intolerance, I call caution," I said with
a
shrug, wondering if I'd just been complimented or in-
sulted.
"I learned during my time on the streets that if you
can't
trust someone once, you can't afford to ever trust
them-
Ypu learn mat by getting kicked in the teeth a
couple
of times, and because of that tend not to forget it. I
suppose
that makes me someone who isn't very nice, but
there's
nothing I can do about it,"
"Nonsense,
I happen to mink you're very nice," he
said at
once, clearly going defensive on my behalf. "Do
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
377
you
think I allow everyone on this world to call me
uncle?"
"You
would if they wanted to," I countered, knowing
it was
me truth. "That's because you happen to be, despite
your
physical appearance, mat rarest of things, a truly
beautiful
person. That, incidentally, is me reason the woman
grew to
hate you: she could only love ugly things, and
you, no
matter what you look like, are not ugly. And it
didn't
take her very long to find that out, did it?"
He went
from startlement to frowning in the blink of an
eye.
but he couldn't seem to find the words to argue the
contention.
1 felt rather smug for a minute or two, but then
1
remembered something mat let me find what he couldn't.
-
"But you are a lot more callous man 1 ever realized,'11
added,
folding my legs in front of me as he looked up with
a
surprised and questioning stare. "I found out the real
reason
why Rikkan Addis was made expedition leader, and
I can't
tell you how shocked I was. To send him along
because
you needed someone who was expendable? To
include
him in the group because someone might be needed
to die
so that the rest of us could live? Uncle Graythor,
how
could you?"
*'Laciel,
my dear, I didn't/^he answered, and then his
surprise
turned to chuckling. "Rikkan Addis was made
leader
of the expedition for all me reasons I gave you to
begin
with, not the least of which is his ability to under-
stand
and 'handle' people- You must have given him a
very difficult
time, which apparently led him to decide that
his
only option was to make you feel sony for him. With
anyone
else he could have used Persuasion, but me Sighted
aren't
susceptible to it. From your reaction, I would say he
was
successful.''
"Why,
mat no good rat'" I gasped, finally seeing me
real
truth. "He lied to me! Saying straight out that I wasn't
qualified
to be leader got him nothing but a challenge, so
he
found a way to play on my sympathy! I'll never believe
another
word he tells me!"
"Why
not?" Graythor asked gently, trying not to show
how
amused he was. "It was you who refused to listen to
the
truth, wasn't it? You were not only not qualified to
lead a
group like that, your position as magic user made
378 SHARON GREEN
the
situation doubly difficult. Toward the end of the jour-
ney,
going through the worlds of magic, you were un-
doubtedly
giving most of the orders. That was necessary
for
everyone's safety, but people who become tense in
dangerous
situations sometimes react to that tension by
distrusting
the person who is responsible for their safety. If
that
person also happens to be ultimate leader, the tension
can
increase to explosive proportions. If there's someone
else
who has the final say, however, the situation is much
more
bearable; there's always a higher authority to be
appealed
to if the protector seems about to do something
foolish—whether
the proposed act is foolish or not. And
when
you finally reached Cloud's Heart, did you really
have
the time to think about leading? Could you have
protected
your group as well as you did if there had been
other
things distracting you? I think you know the true
answer
to that as well as I. And weren't you the least bit
happier
when you were no longer concerned with the
question
of leadership?"
"I
don't believe he did it just to make me happy," I
muttered,
looking down at the bare feet folded in front of
me. '
"Maybe for the good of the quest, but not to make me
happy.
And it doesn't make much difference anymore.
anyway,
does it? Uncle Graythor, 1 need you to help me
with
something. There was a spell put on the male mem-
bers of
the group almost from the very beginning, and I'd
like
you to dissolve it."
"What
sort of spell are you referring to?" he asked with
a
frown, moving nearer to the bed. "I examined everyone
most
carefully when the—successful ending of the episode
recalled
my mind to my body, and I found nothing."
"You
must have missed it,'* I said with something of a
shrug.
"I discovered very early on that the male members
of our
party all seemed to be in love with me, which
naturally
had to mean that a spell had been put on them
and was
being maintained by my ability. Now that you
know
what to look for, you can remove it, can't you?"
"Laciel,
my very dear child," he said, sighing deeply
as he
sat to take my hand again. "If I, as you maintain,
suffer
from the affliction of self-blindness, it's an affliction
we
share. Your male quest companions have no spell on
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
379
^l^&em,
unless it's the spell of your loveliness. That, of
-h^&urse,
was another reason why it would have been unwise
•^jBEving
you as expedition leader. Men sometimes find it
^
:llifficult obeying the objects of their affection, and if there
;./iBflB
dissension because more than one of them succumbed,
&e
difficulty of separating them would not have been
yws.
Also, it was not impossible that you would find
yourself—ah—taken
with one of them, which might then
\t»ve
brought about acts of favoritism. As I said, I searched
Wost
carefully, and there are no spells on any member of
. -fte
group."
' - The
look in his dark eyes urged me to believe what he'd
'said,
but I was too—stunned? confused? lost?—to do any-
thing
but sit there and stare at him. They hadn't been
under a
spell? I really was pretty enough to attract the
Serious
attention of men? I lowered my head and put my
Aands
into my hair, struggling to accept that, trying to
fight
my way back to where 1 could think again, but it
wasn't
easy. What had Graythor said, that night in my
room at
the inn? That Morgiana's power and my potential
ability
had turned the men I'd met until then diffident and
hesitant?
Could it really be true?
And
then I sat very straight again, realizing something
awful.
If none of them had been under a spell, then Rik—
What
he'd said— About the way he felt—
"Uncte
Graythor, where are they?" I asked, unfolding
my legs
to swing them over the side of the bed. "The rest
Of the
group— Where are they?"
"Why,
most likely in the salon on this floor, enjoying
the
last of their lunch," he answered in surprise, startled
by the
way I'd jumped to my feet. "Why do you . . ."
1
suppose he may have finished what he'd started to
say,
but that was all of it I heard. As soon as he answered
cay
question I headed for the door at a run, not even
caring
{hat I was barefoot, not even seeing the neat, blae, well-
ftimished
room that was always mine when I stayed there.
My mind
was too busy trying to think of what to say to
notice
trivia, to figure out what I could possibly do to
repair
the damaged mess I'd made. He'd told me he loved
me and
I'd ignored him, he'd asked about where he stood
' in
relation to Zail. and I'd—I'd told him something that
380 SHARON GREEN
was the
literal truth, but in a way that made it a lie. He'd
lied to
me for the sake of the quest, but my lie hadn't been
for
anyone's sake but my own.
1
barely remember flinging open the door of my room
and
racing down the hall, but I clearly recall my arrival at
the
arch leading into the salon. They were laughing at
something
over cups of wine, the remnants of their meal
spread
out on the table before them, and when they saw
me come
through the arch they all turned to look at me.
All
four of them.
"Hey,
Laciel, you're finally awake," Zail called, send-
ing me
a grin. "Come and have something to eat—or at
least
something to drink."
"You
appear far better than when last we saw you,"
Kadrim
said, also grinning. "Do come and join us."
"Thought
for a while you were going to make us wait
for a
month," Su said, her own faint version of a grin in
evidence.
"If you haven't changed your mind we still have
the
Wolf tribe to visit, and Kadrim said he's coming with
us."
"But
before that you have to visit with us for a while, at
least
until the wizard sends us home," Dranna said, her
warm
smile open and sincere. "I'd like the chance to
thank
you for taking the time to get me out of that last
fight.
I'm sure you saved my life."
"Where's—where's
Rik?" I asked with a great deal of
difficulty,
approaching their table a lot more slowly than
I'd
approached the salon. "Has he finished already and
gone
back to his room? Or maybe out to see the city? I
suppose
I could ..."
"Laciel,
he's gone back to his world," Zail interrupted,
telling
me the one thing I hadn't wanted to hear, his
amusement
gone with everyone else's. "He didn't stay
any
longer than it took for the wizard to heal his wounds.
InThig
heard him say he wanted to leave, and volunteered
to open
a gate for him. The wizard said he'll need a few
days to
gather the power to send us back the way he
brought
us, and when Rik said he'd rather not wait,
InThig—"
InThig.
Zail's voice trailed off when I turned away,
which
was just as well, as I had already stopped listening.
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
38l
'"^
-^
U.'pd
forgotten about the lie I'd told InThig, forgotten I
..Si-^ljtto't
told it the truth the way I'd meant to, and now Rik
''^1'as
gone. It had been him, I suddenly realized, who had
^Illled
my life at the very end, keeping that man with the
'.'^SSlSSe
from killing me while I held my spell. And he might
; ISWB
have been wounded when he did it! For the second
:.^ifiBle
he'd saved my life and then he had simply left, to get
^H^Melf
away from a place he knew he wasn't wanted.
>|6Bew
it because I'd told him so.
) >
"<Mi, now, don't you know how lucky you are?"
"•Dranna's
voice came through, bringing me the realization
^ffiat
tee four had left their table to stand around me,
-^Jiolding
or patting me in an attempt to give comfort, "I
-^thought
every now and again that you might be feeling
.^(ittracted
to him, but you don't really want someone like
-Aim.
He becomes an animal, Laciel, and no matter how
- luce
he is when he isn't one, you still can't trust that kind.
Jiff
you ever tried to—get to know him better, you'd almost
Certainly
find yourself savaged. No woman needs some-
-
tiling like dial."
; Her pretty face was looking realty
compassionate, and it
came to
me that she wasn't tryiag to be nasty and spiteful,
oftly
helpful. Most people aren't responsible for the preju-
dices
they have, no matter how hurtful those prejudices are
to the
innocent; if / didn't know that, no one di3. It also
came to
me that Rik hadn't said anything when I'd told
him
Dranna liked him; by then he must have known how
she
rcaUy felt, or he wouldn't have been so upset when she
begfi) kissing
him when she didn't know what she was
doing.
He considered Zail a rival he'd lost to, Dranna
someone
who was disgusted by him, Kadrim and Su ca-
' sual
acquaintances, and me someone who didn't want him
Bear
her. The wonder wasn't that he'd left, but that he'd
stayed
as long as he had.
**ff
yea want to find him first before we visit the Wolf
Hibe;
I'll go with you," Su said to me, strong disapproval
-• is
her eyes for the opinions Dranna had voiced. "Shouldn't
c tate
tod long, and then there'll be four of us. Kadrim
.:thinks
he'll be staying with me for a while."
-^
"Indeed," Kadrim agreed with a grin when I immcdi-
;-?Wely
brightened at the suggestion. "To return to my own
382 SHARON GREEN
world
now would be to put my sons in an undeserved
quandary.
By now my holdings have surely been divided
amongst
them, and their concept of honor is such mat they
would
just as surely return all of it to me were / to return.
And
even beyond that, it seems 1 have found a woman
whose
like has never before been known to me, one who
had no
difficulty in seeing the man beneath the boy. It has
become
my intention to prove myself worthy of her."
He and
Su were looking at each other with something
more
than simple attraction, and I suddenly realized that
Kadrim's
face had been changed a little, to make him
appear
just a few years more mature. The two of them now
looked
to be about the same age, and me happiness that
filled
me was the first I'd felt in a very long time. They'd
keep
each other from being lonely and sad, I knew they
would,
and all I wanted to do was hug them very tight.
"Excuse
me," Graythor's voice came, interrupting the
flurry
of most of us starting to speak at once. We all
turned
to see that he'd followed me to the salon, and no
one's
commenting on his real appearance showed they
already
knew all about it. "You're certainly free to go
where
you wish and with whom you wish, Laciel child,"
he
said, walking toward us with his usual warm smile. "I
would,
however, like to ask you the favor of returning as
soon as
you may. The longer you wait to begin your
studies,
the more valuable time will be wasted.**
"Studies?
What studies?" I asked, having no idea what
he was
talking about. "I've already been certified as a
sorceress,
and it will be years yet before I reach wizard
strength.
What is it you expect me to study?"
"My
dear girl, surely you know by now," he said as he
stopped,
surprised—and possibly somewhat upset as well.
"It
won't be that long at all before you reach wizard
strength,
and by men you really should be prepared to begin
your
life's work. I'm aware of the fact that most wizards
spend a
good deal longer getting into it, but most also take
a good
deal longer showing a talent for it. You, my dear.
don't
show a talent but a gift, and it would be criminal to
allow
it to go to waste. It was the second reason you were
chosen
as magic user for the quest, the second reason
THE FAR
SIDE OF FOREVER
383
you
gave me no opportunity to discuss with you
»i
1^*1
don't understand," I said, still completely bewil-
taftd.
"Uncle Graythor, what is it I'm going to be
^*Wny,
Laciel, how can you not know?" he asked,
peaking
very gently. "The speed and assurance with
jbsch
you learned my spells, the way you kept adapting
a^fiteic
to your needs during the journey—and what you
,^||cd
to win the confrontation. Child, Morgiana and I have
^s^Sg
agreed: your place awaits you doing vital research,
„
Sivestigations which will benefit us all. The work you
•^are
born for is unSeen magic."
'^^
UnSeeo magic. Black magic. Everyone around me ex-
^aimed
in awed delight, congratulating me for being good
enough
to qualify for such an honor, and it really was an
-jfconor.
Only the best ever got involved in working with
thire
ideas, but rather than feeling honored, all I felt was
<faid.
Talented or not, gifted or not, working with unSeen
vaswc
was dangerous, very, very dangerous. How could I
;??®olooking
for Rik, find him and tell him I really didn't
disHfce
him after all—and then come back to work with
soroeming
that could kill me at any .time? Would that be
/..fair
to him? Would that be fair to anyone I—didn't dislike?
It
looked like it was a good thing he'd left after .all, the
best
thing for trim he could possibly have done.
—
"Uncle Graythor," I said without looking at him, my
arms
wrapped around me against the chill I felt from
Standing
there, barefoot on the carpeting. "That woman
<W
were ^discussing earlier; what was her name?"
/.^•^SS*
came to me without a name, of course, so until
she
decided on one for herself, I simply called her what
she was
to me," he answered, back to sounding the way I
nbw.felt.
"Beloved."
-• '
Yes, I thought with a sigh, still not looking up, and then
began
considering what I would do with the Wolf tribe.