Kati's final transition to Tumatsin womanhood occurred when she was seventeen. In Tumatsin society, the day of her flowering to womanhood would have been an occasion for joy. But Kati was not with her people now, and the day she became a Changeling ended in great sorrow for her.
She had been practicing with the young troopers for six months, and had gained a degree of respect from them despite being a girl. Master Yung had insisted that both she and Shan-lan practice with bow and sword on horseback and in simulated combat, and so he'd brought them into his classes for the young men newly commissioned as troopers.
At first the men resented her presence, but quietly, because she was Moshuguang. It took them only one day to discover her skill with the sword, and she left bruises on several of them. After that, they did not defer to her; their egos wouldn't allow it, and Kati spent many evenings using her hands to heal the bruises all over her body.
She had to learn the bow from scratch. For three miserable months, while the others rode, she stood alone on the archery range outside the dome, sending arrows at man-sized targets fifty meters away. Lui-Pang spent time with her in the evenings, correcting her mistakes in form, and the extra time they had together made the work seem worthwhile.
She wondered if she was in love with Lui-Pang, and if he was in love with her. She thought about him constantly when they were apart, but it was always the physical things she thought of. Outside of horses and weapons, they had little to talk about, but when they were together, those times when his hand was on her breast and his tongue explored her mouth and body, she had twice been on the edge of giving herself completely to him. Today would be another test of her will, for they rode together after class.
They stood in two lines, waiting for Master Yung to arrive. Lui-Pang looked back at her and smiled briefly. Their relationship was still secret, and Kati respected him for that. She'd probed all his friends and found nothing to indicate they knew what happened during those long rides. He was discreet, something difficult for a young man to do.
Shan-lan also smiled at her, undoubtedly wondering if she'd read the most recent poem he'd sent to her:
The flower has a thorn
from which my blood drips.
The finger heals.
The flower has a beauty
I yearn to hold.
My heart aches with longing.
Thorn protects beauty.
Tanchun had brought it to her the night before, a small parchment with the poem and a painting of a flower protected by large thorns—unsigned. The poems were now frequent, and Kati wondered how she would tell the Emperor's son they were only dear friends and nothing more.
Master Yung arrived with their masks and ordered the two lines of them to face each other. They came to sword length without masks and went through the ten dongs, changing opponents each time by moving to their left. Kati struck hard and fast. Shan-lan did well, and Lui-Pang grinned when she gave his blade an extra hard slap after a disengagement. But when she got to the tenth dong, she found herself facing Xue-she, a malevolent young man who had bruised her badly on several occasions while enjoying every second of her pain. He gave her a smirk, knowing they would be paired off for ten dongs of masked, close combat.
On tenth dong, their blades flashed, but his did not touch her.
They put on their masks, and came within sword length. The fact that their practice blades were dulled by grinding was not a comfort. A hard slash to leather armor still left a long bruise on flesh, and a heavy blow to the mask could render her unconscious. Xue-she would be trying for both effects in every move he made.
Xue-she beat at her furiously in the first two dongs, forcing her to be purely defensive in holding him off. He chuckled, and said, "I can slow down, if the Lady wishes it."
Kati growled, and her face flushed. Sweat seemed to burst from every pore.
On the third dong, Xue-she slipped her blade and drove his point into her mask at forehead level, snapping her head back and pinching her neck. She rotated her head to ease the pain, and Xue-she chuckled again.
Kati ground her teeth together, and her jaws hurt as if someone were squeezing them. "Zhumbei!" she snarled.
On fourth dong, she touched him lightly on the chest, but not before he'd smacked her hard on the point of the right shoulder. Numbness ran down her arm, loosening her grip on the sword, and on fifth dong he slapped it from her grasp. The entire class had to wait while she retrieved her weapon and got back into line.
She felt furious and humiliated, and again Xue-she chuckled at her. "Perhaps you'd like to rest?" he said.
Her jaws and gums ached, and when she closed her mouth there was pressure on her lower lip, something hard and sharp there. The sound that came from her was deep and guttural. "Ahhh," she said.
Her fingers blanched white on the sword's hilt, and the muscles of her forearm felt squeezed by her leathers. Her body seemed on fire as she struck on sixth dong, and she hit Xue-she twice on mask and shoulder, making him wince.
"You'll pay for that," he snarled. "I'll no longer hold back because you're a girl."
Kati growled, and raised her sword. Two teeth pressed hard on her lower lip, and then Xue-she jumped Master Yung's command and poked her hard in the chest before she could react. She lashed back furiously, and dented his mask across the nose. Each breath was a growl. She suddenly realized she wanted to kill him.
When he came at her on eighth dong she was ready, striking him four times, once hard in the stomach. He struck back as the exercise ended, and Kati rained blow after blow on his head. "Yiiiaa!" she screamed, and with one vicious slash cleaved the blade of his sword in half. The piece of broken steel spun into the air, and landed several paces behind Xue-she.
"Enough!" shouted Master Yung. "Stop it! The dong is finished!"
Xue-she panted for breath, his mask close to hers. "What are you?" he asked.
Her voice seemed strangely deep to her. "I'm a woman who has shattered your sword," she said calmly.
Xue-she jerked off his mask as Master Yung came up to them. There was a gash across his forehead where Kati's dull blade had penetrated the mask, and blood was flowing down into his right eye. Master Yung pulled him away from her.
"Attend to your wound and retrieve your weapon! I will take your place here! Ninth dong!" he shouted. Everyone in class was watching them.
Xue-she stumbled away from them, panting hard, a hand to his face.
"Strike!"
Kati struck hard, though Yung faced her without a mask. The fury within her had suddenly dissipated. Her mouth was not so full of her own teeth, the leather not so tight on her forearm. Still, on ninth and tenth dong, she made two hits that would have been severe in battle, and Yung was pleased. He stepped close to her when it was over.
"Leave your mask on for a moment, and calm yourself. Remember your fury; let it happen when you fight for your life. It's the fury of your ancestors, a thing I cannot teach to the others. Be proud of it!"
He walked away, and all the others, even Lui-Pang, were staring at her. She turned from them, walked a few paces, and breathed deeply to calm herself before taking off her mask. A breeze cooled her face. Her hand and forearm ached, and the right arm felt heavy. She sheathed her sword, and walked back to the others, still breathing deeply. Lui-Pang came up to her.
"What happened to you?" he asked.
"He made me angry," she said.
"Remind me to leave our swords behind when we go riding."
Kati smiled. "I have no defense against you."
Lui-Pang grinned, raised an eyebrow, and walked away from her.
Master Yung allowed them to rest a few minutes, and then they went to their horses. The animals were a mixed breed with thick shoulders and short, muscular legs giving them tremendous accelerating power. Their muzzles were short, mane and tails sparse, always reminding Kati of her beloved Sushua. They had been bred for speed over short distances, and strength for collision of horse against horse in battle, following a genetic line going back thousands of years before the ancestors of Tengri-Nayon.
Kati was assigned a white mare who stomped and snorted as she vaulted into the saddle. She joined the line of men following Master Yung a kilometer beyond the dome to a large area fenced with logs. Straw bales holding man-sized dummies of wood and wool wrapped with cloth formed a spiral within the enclosure. They lined up at a gate for mounted drill with bow and sword, going in one at a time on an inward spiral and exiting at another gate to get back in line.
Bow drill was six arrows, one left, one right on each loop of the spiral at full speed. Yung graded them on time and accuracy, and gave a bronze ring to the overall winner. Xue-she had several rings displayed openly on a leather necklace, but he'd not re-appeared after sword drill. Kati kept her three rings in a box in her rooms; the three necklaces she wore beneath her tunic were enough.
Kati had a good day, though not perfect. She missed getting the bronze ring by three points, but her disappointment was eased by the fact that Shan-lan was the winner, and it was his first. She thought he might cry when Master Yung presented it to him, and his eyes were moist when she joined the others in giving him a hug of congratulations. "You are an artist and a warrior," she whispered to him, then wished she hadn't said it when he hugged her longer and closer than necessary.
Final drill was always exciting, though mostly a test of horses, and there was no grading. They formed two lines facing each other at fifty meters, and put on their masks again. When they drew their swords, blades flashing, Kati was excited. When Yung raised his arms, she thumped hard with her knees and the mare leaped forward with the others, as everyone screamed.
"SHANJI!"
The charge took seconds, animals shrieking and snapping at each other on impact while their riders slashed furiously left and right at their nearest opponent. Kati took a hit on her mask as her blade whacked satisfyingly across a chest. Satisfyingly, but she went back to regroup knowing that in battle her face would now be in two pieces.
Four rounds, four charges, the horses growing more furious each time. Each time she was hit at least once, and wondered how anyone could survive such a charge. The fury that had been with her had not returned, though she was boiling inside. The fury of her ancestors, Yung had said. She had felt it. Yung had seen it, even through her mask. For one moment there, she'd been a Changeling! How could she bring it back? And what would her comrades think if they saw it?
Master Yung seemed pleased, declared the class finished for the day, and there would be another week for their bruises to heal. They dropped their masks into a cart and followed it back to the dome where boys took the horses away to be rubbed down. Her classmates returned to their barracks, and Shan-lan was showing his bronze ring to the two troopers who's arrived to escort him back to the palace. She felt his pride, his excitement about showing the prize to his father, but there was another feeling there. Wistful? No, something sadder.
Lui-Pang was returning, leading two horses for their ride. Shan-lan saw him, turned, and gave Kati a faint smile.
Envy—and jealousy; that was the feeling. Shan-lan turned his head, and followed his escort back to the monorail station.
"Are you ready?" asked Lui-Pang.
"Yes," she said, smiling. The day was hot, and he'd removed his leather tunic, exposing the sleeveless shirt he wore beneath it. Kati looked admiringly at his bronzed, well-muscled arms, and said, "Good idea. It's hot."
She took off her own tunic, and put it in a roll back of her saddle. She wore a long-sleeved, yellow shirt beneath the tunic, and rolled the sleeves up to her elbows before mounting up. Lui-Pang mounted his horse, and his eyes flashed mischievously at her. "The knoll by the Emperor's thumb; first one there wins a prize. Ready?"
Kati kicked her horse, but Lui-Pang was right with her. Guards stumbled to get out of the way as they thundered out of the gate and down the torch-lined road, neck-to-neck in a turn sharply left to the sloping grass fields south.
The wind whipped her face and hair as she bent low over the animal's neck, the throb of the gallop surging in legs and knees. Lui-Pang rode like a demon, and his horse was a little stronger than hers. By the time they reached the knoll he was two lengths ahead of her, assuring his victory by swinging from the saddle before coming to a stop. His feet hit the ground, and he fell, tumbling over and over into the tall grass on the knoll, coming to a stop on his back and thrusting both arms into the air.
"I win! I win!" he shouted, like a little boy.
"You cheated!" she shouted, vaulting from her horse, and rushing to throw herself on top of him so hard that he grunted when catching her. They rolled over and over in the grass, ending up with Kati on top. She grabbed his hands and pressed them to the grass, leaning over close.
"So, what is your prize for winning the race?"
"A kiss from your lovely lips!" he declared.
She gave it to him, long and hard, their mouths twisting against each other. She released his hands and his arms encircled her, the kiss becoming softer, and deep, and then their cheeks were pressed together. "Hmmm," she murmured. "The loser also receives a prize."
Lui-Pang rolled her over onto her back, traced her jaw, nose and cheekbones with a finger. "You were wonderful today. What you did to Xui-she is long overdue. He's too arrogant for his own good."
"He's cruel, and enjoys the pain he gives," she said. "He made me angry."
"I'll say he did." Lui-Pang traced her chin, her jaw-line, down her neck. His hand found her breast, thumb moving over the nipple, which was instantly hard. "Ohhh," he murmured, and kissed lightly, licking her lower lip. "The taste of a warrior."
Kati's hands moved over his back and along his arms, squeezing the hard muscles there, and suddenly she wanted him as badly as she knew he wanted her. Love, or lust, it made no difference, for now it seemed her body, not her mind, was telling her what to do. For the moment, at least, she adored him, and she let him see it in her eyes. He seemed startled, and there was even some fear there, which surprised her.
"Mengnu—your eyes—they're green!" He sat up, straddling her, and her hands caressed his chest. She pulled up her shirt, and guided his hands beneath it, sighing at his touch.
"Mengnu," he murmured. "I want you—so badly."
"Then take me," she whispered, and in one motion pulled the shirt off over her head to toss it aside and reach up to his face.
He sat gazing at her for one instant before something exploded in both of them, and they were tumbling around in the grass, scattering clothes while the horses watched nervously and stomped the ground, snorting. When they came together, it was gentle, with a long, deep kiss, their hands exploring everywhere, and Kati felt wetness between her legs. The kiss did not stop, and her hand found his organ, smooth and hard. She guided him into her, and felt pleasure at his first thrust, slowly at first, then spreading deep within her. She breathed hard through her nose, opening her mouth wider to him, grabbing his buttocks tightly and pulling. Her pleasure seemed to block thought, and her mind spun blankly. There was only that feeling, groping clear to her spine, and Lui-Pang's muffled grunts as he thrust into her.
Suddenly he winced, and seemed to pull back, but she held on, her pelvis rocking furiously, eyes closed tightly. Her head felt ready to explode.
Lui-Pang winced again, and moaned. His hands pushed against her shoulders as she reached climax; she lost his mouth at that instant, and what came from her was not a woman's cry of pleasure, but a deep, rumbling growl that went on and on.
She opened her eyes as the growl subsided, and Lui-Pang was still straddling her, eyes wide and staring. His organ was limp within her, and his chin was covered with blood from a wound in his lip.
"What have I done?" he said, looking terrified. "What was I thinking of? I should have known, I should have—oh, I can't! I just can't do this! We are not—alike!"
"Lui-Pang! What's wrong?" Kati reached out to touch his chin, but he jumped to his feet, and began picking up his clothes as fast as he could.
"Lui-Pang!"
"It's not your fault, Mengnu. I knew about you. But I'd—never seen it. I can't—not with a Changeling. It's—It's unclean!"
Kati jumped up, and grabbed her pants, struggling into them as Lui-Pang vaulted into his saddle. "Don't leave me here like this!" she shrieked, and it was the scream of a shizi.
Lui-Pang jerked hard on the reins, and galloped away. Kati pulled on her pants, found the shirt. "DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!" she screamed.
Her own horse reared when she ran to it. Its eyes rolled white and wild with fear. She grabbed the reins tightly in a fist, and growled.
Stay still! Don't you even MOVE!
The horse was stunned and looked at her dumbly, legs quivering. She dropped the reins long enough to pull on her shirt and boots, then leaped into the saddle. The animal just stood there. She leaned over his neck, and growled again. "Run, or I'll tear out your throat!"
The horse leaped, nearly throwing her, and she got a claw into his mane, muscles on her forearm thick and veined. "Yiiii!" she screamed, and the animal ran as if a shizi were on its back.
Lui-Pang was nearly out of sight, riding like the wind, but she drove her animal hard up the grassy slopes to the flats, and then to the road. She approached the dome's gate at a full gallop, riding with fury, her eyes filled with tears, but clear enough to see guards blocking the entrance, rifles raised. She didn't care, and charged at them, without thought of danger.
"Don't shoot! It's Mengnu! Let her pass!"
It was Master Yung, running towards the gate from the troopers' barracks, waving his arms.
She charged past the astonished guards, leaping from the saddle, but her horse kept right on running. Yung grabbed her as she started to fall, and she carried him several paces before he stopped her. "Lui-Pang! Where are you?" she shrieked, struggling against Yung's hold on her.
"Stop it!" cried Yung. "He's gone—back to the barracks. He came by here like a demon was chasing him, and now I see why. What has he done to you?"
"Lui-Pang!" she cried pitifully.
"Back to the palace! We'll get to the bottom of this!" Yung pulled her away from the gate, the guards looking at her with wide eyes and stepping back as she passed them. Yung's arm was tight around her shoulders, and now she was crying, deep racking sobs and moans. He got her to the monorail station, where three people waiting on benches leaped up and shied away from her. When the car came, six people got out, and a woman gasped when she saw Kati. Nobody got on the car with them, and Yung hugged her to him all the way up the steep slope as she cried.
It was no better at the top; groups of startled people, a child clinging to its mother's legs, all with eyes wide and staring, full of fear at the sight of her. Yung hustled her up stairs, and an elevator, twice shouting at guards who might have shot her, and then they were in the hallway leading to her rooms and Huomeng was standing there, knocking on her door. When she saw him she moaned, and covered her face with her hands.
"What happened?" he asked. "Kati, what's wrong?"
She broke from Yung's grasp, pushed Huomeng aside, and slammed the door behind her, locking it.
"Kati!"
"Go away! Leave me alone!"
She ran to her bedroom and looked into the mirror to see what she knew would be there. Tears streaked her face, and her eyes were two, red suns. Her lips were curled back in a snarl, and canine teeth curved down to her lower lip. She was a monster, a demon. She was a Changeling.
Kati breathed deeply, but her face did not change. She clawed at her face with her fingers, drawing blood. "It won't go away! IT WON'T GO AWAY!" she shrieked.
There was a rattling at her door, and then it opened. Tanchun peered inside, then jumped back. Huomeng came inside, followed by Master Yung—and Weimeng.
Kati screamed, "I said stay away from me!"
Weimeng cried out in horror, covered her face with her hands and bolted from the room.
"I'll handle this," said Huomeng. "Thank you for bringing her here."
Master Yung nodded silently, and left. Huomeng closed the door, and locked it again, then turned towards her.
Kati's hands covered her face. "Don't come near me," she said.
Huomeng ignored her command. He walked slowly towards her, his eyes narrowed to slits, and it was anger she saw there, not fear. "What did Lui-Pang do to you? Tell me! I'll probe you in your sleep if you don't!"
"Nothing! Don't you dare do anything to hurt him!"
"Nothing? Lui-Pang returns as if riding for his life, and you come back hysterical, and you tell me nothing happened between you two? Do you think I'm stupid?"
"No."
He was a step away from her, coming within reach. "Put down your hands. I want to see you."
"NO!" She took a step backwards, but it was too late. His hands were on her shoulders, and his face was close.
"Take your hands away, Kati. I want to see the Tumatsin woman you've become."
No fear, yet he was close enough for his throat to be torn out with one bite. She let her hands move aside, and closed her eyes, tears gushing. Her voice trembled.
"There. Are you satisfied?"
His hand touched her chin, tilting her head up, his other hand still on her shoulder. "I've never seen the Changeling form, but Mengmoshu has described it to me. He was quite accurate, I must say." His fingers traced her cheek, passed over the point of a tooth, then across the curled upper lip while she kept her eyes tightly closed.
She was shocked when he took her in his arms, and held her close, her mouth up against his neck as he murmured.
"This is long overdue. We'd begun to wonder if it would ever happen. Judging by your reaction, I think you've been suppressing it. Is it because of Lui-Pang? What he might think of you? Tell me, Kati. Tell me what happened today. If it's too painful for words, then show me. I want to help."
His embrace was tight, and warm. Her arms had been stiffly at her sides, but now they moved around his waist, her sobs muffled by his neck and shoulder. She moaned, and opened herself to him, and showed him everything that had happened on the knoll that day.
Huomeng only held her more tightly. "Do you love him?"
"I don't know. I thought I did, but it makes no difference now. I've lost him. He'll have nothing to do with a Changeling. I'm unclean to him."
"That doesn't make you unclean. Kati, look at me. Open your eyes."
He held her at arm's length as she opened her eyes. He was smiling, and his eyes weren't the angry slits of moments before. "Kati, you're beautiful as you are. Look at yourself again, without the fury, without the anger."
He turned her around to face the mirror, and stood behind her, his arms encircling her chest beneath the breasts. She saw her eyes were amber now, the lips no longer curled back to expose the gums, but the canines were still there, protruding slightly over the lower lip when she closed her mouth.
"I see a monster," she said, leaning her head back against him.
Huomeng laughed. "Look again. You've seen that face before. You've described it to me many times, how serene and beautiful you thought it was, with the long, flowing robe and emerald eyes guiding you to places I can only imagine."
"Mandughai's image?" She looked harder. The face was familiar, but here it was streaked with tears, and the hair was a tousled mess.
"Yes. She shows you Her vision of a beautiful Empress. It's your face, Kati. That's the way She sees you, not as Mengnu, the ward of the palace, but as yourself, a Tumatsin woman."
"An Empress?" She put her hands over his, on her chest.
"Over yourself, and the hearts of others," he said, then squeezed her gently. "Kati, I'm sorry about your loss of a love. I know the feeling, and it will pass in time. Slowly, but it passes, even when the hurt is deep."
"You haven't experienced it," she said, looking at him in the mirror.
He smiled wanly. "Oh, yes I have, quite recently. While you were gone—at Weimeng's party—Sheyue met someone, one of the noble's sons. She says she's in love. Hasn't she said anything to you?"
"No! Not a word!"
"Well—it's finished. I suppose you knew about us."
"Yes. I wondered what you had to talk about." Kati watched her face. The tips of the canines were slowly drawing back inside her mouth.
"There was little talk, and I also wondered about you and Lui-Pang on all those long rides. Something has ended for both of us."
Kati twisted around in his arms, and hugged him. "I'm sorry, Huomeng. My hurt is so awful, I didn't even feel yours."
"Your masking is as good as mine, and we haven't shared such things before. I feel better just telling it to you."
"I do, too." She hugged him harder.
"Let's skip the exercise today. You need to relax."
"No! I don't want to! The work will take my mind away from what's happened, even for a little while."
"You're sure?"
"Yes, but first I want to take a bath."
He released her, then, and waited a long time while she bathed and put up her hair. There was little time left for their discussion on economic reform, or the arguments to be used with the nobles, but there would be other times. This time, his tone of voice was not so argumentative, but more encouraging, and he looked at her more often now when she was making a point. By the end of the session, she realized that something had changed between them. They were no longer teacher and student, perhaps because they had shared a deep, personal pain with each other. Or was it that they had touched each other physically in a wonderfully comforting way?
She was back to normal when Weimeng rapped tearfully on her door to apologize for fleeing the room: She'd never seen a Changeling face before.
"I still think of you as my own child, my Mengnu, and the sight of you that way reminded me you're a gift from First Mother, a gift brought to me from another people. I love you with all my heart. Can you forgive me for fleeing from you?"
Kati embraced her. "I can forgive my mother for anything," she said, and there were more tears.
Weimeng insisted they have a meal together in her suite, and they talked about the events of the day, from her first transformation during sword drill to the second on the knoll with Lui-Pang. Kati gave her every detail, including the pleasure she'd felt until that last, horrible moment.
Weimeng listened with fascination, then suddenly giggled like a little girl. "He must have been very surprised," she said. "Some women I know would like to see the same reaction from their husbands."
The image of Lui-Pang leaping up from her in terror was suddenly comical, and even Kati had to laugh.
"There will be many men to pursue you," said Weimeng, "and they will be from good families."
They will flee from me as well.
"The Moshuguang assures me you'll be free to attend my next party. Sheyue met a wonderful young man at the one you missed, and now she's walking around in a dream."
"So I hear from Huomeng, who was seeing her until recently."
Weimeng looked surprised. "Really? I would think he'd be interested in a girl with more intellect than beauty."
"That was his error," said Kati, "and mine as well."
"You need a man with gentle breeding, not the son of a trooper. There will be many to choose from. You'll see, Mengnu. Men will be standing in line to meet you."
Not after what happened today, thought Kati.
As she left Weimeng's suite, Kati saw Sheyue coming down the hallway, serene and lovely as usual. Sheyue frowned at her when she came close, and touched Kati's face.
"Mengnu! You've cut yourself!" she said, alarmed.
"Sword practice," said Kati. "I hear that you have a new love. You didn't tell me about him, Sheyue."
Sheyue lowered her eyelashes coyly. "I was going to when we had more time. Oh, Mengnu, I'm truly in love for the first time! My heart is aching!" She clasped both hands over her heart, and sighed.
Kati glared at her. "It's unfortunate that someone as beautiful as you is also so silly and foolish," she said.
Sheyue gasped as Kati walked away from her. "Mengnu! What is wrong? Mengnu!"
Kati slammed the door behind her and smiled, feeling pleased with herself. She got ready for bed, and her mind replayed the day in the quiet of the room. She was sad again, but there were no tears this time.
Mengmoshu! Are you there? He was the only person important in her life who hadn't arrived to comfort her, and she wondered why.
No answer. She fell on the bed, exhausted, and closed her eyes. The purple cloud rushed towards her with no conscious effort on her part, and she was in the gong-shi-jie.
Mandughai was not there.
Mandughai, I cannot do anything tonight. This has been the most horrible day of my life.
Silence. She was alone in the purple light, the auras of planets and stars scattered before her. Mandughai?
The auras and shimmering purple were somehow comforting. She felt at home in this place of creation beyond real space. It was her place, too, and the purple light was at her command when she wanted it. She felt no fear, and moved through it to a green vortex, letting herself drop into it near its center—
And coming out into real space well above the boiling surface of Tengri-Nayon. Mandughai? Can you hear me? This is the first time I've come and you haven't been waiting. Are you here?
The star spewed flame and dust at her. She extended her aura out several kilometers, watched hot gas flow around it, cupped a piece of it tightly for a moment and watched it swirl in her grasp before releasing it like a child playing with a toy. And then she found the green tip of the vortex, the flash, and she was surrounded by swirls of purple light.
Mandughai was waiting for her.
That was good. You only needed to see you can do it by yourself, even in your sorrow.
Kati was thrilled to see Her, and the image she saw was now quite familiar. Mandughai smiled.
You recognize me?
Yes. I'm looking at myself as a woman.
A beautiful woman, Kati. Your transition is complete, and the lessons are over.
Today was terrible, and you didn't come to me!
There was no need, Kati. You were surrounded by people who love you, who accept you as you are. Today was difficult, but the days ahead will be even more so. These people will help you find your way. It's time for you to take your place on Shanji, and the day is coming when you'll see me as an adversary, even an enemy. When that day comes, I ask you to remember that I love you, and that everything I do has a purpose.
They drifted together towards the purple vortex that was Kati. Mandughai was so beautiful, yet serious-looking now. How could Kati think of her as an enemy?
Am I doing what you want, Mandughai? Have I served you?
In every way, child. And you will do much more. Look at me again, and tell me what you see.
I see myself. The vortex was tugging, pulling her back to herself.
No, Kati. You see an Empress—
And she was back on her bed, eyes closed.
An Empress?
Sleep overtook her before she could pursue the thought further.
But she remembered it in the morning.