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Artificial flies, she
decided
Artificial flies, she decided.
Opening
the phone book she looked in the yellow pages under "animal accessories,
electric"; she dialled and when the saleswoman answered, said, 'I'd like to
order one pound of artificial flies that really fly around and buzz,
please.'
'Is it for an electric turtle, ma'am?'
'A toad,' she
said.
'Then I suggest our mixed assortment of artificial crawling and flying
bugs of all types including -'
'The flies will do,' Iran said. 'Will you
deliver? I don't want to leave my apartment; my husband's asleep and I want to
be sure he's all right.'
The clerk said, 'For a toad I'd suggest also a
perpetually renewing puddle, unless it's a horned toad, in which case there's a
kit containing sand, multicoloured pebbles, and bits of organic debris. And if
you're going to be putting it through it's feed cycle regularly I suggest you
let our service department make a periodic tongue adjustment. In a toad that's
vital.'
'Fine' Iran said. 'I want it to work perfectly. My husband is devoted
to it.' She gave her address and hung up.
And, feeling better, fixed herself
at last a cup of black, hot coffee.