Amazed, he said, "You're going to keep on trying to-"

"All those creatures-and species-who gave up trying to eat aren't with us anymore." She seated herself shakily, holding on to the table.

"I admire you."

"No," she said, "I admire you. It's harder on you. I know."

"Death-" he began.

"This isn't death. You know what this is? In contrast to what's coming out of your audio system? This is life. The milk, please; I really need it."

As he got her more milk he said, "I guess you can't shoot down ether. Luminiferous or otherwise."

"No," she agreed, "since it doesn't exist."

"How old are you?" he said.

"Twenty-seven."

"You emigrated voluntarily?"

Rybys said, "Who can say? I can't reconstruct my earlier thinking, now, at this point in my life. Basically I felt there was a spiritual component to emigrating.. It was either emigrate or g into the priesthood. I was raised Scientific Legate but-"

"The Party," Herb Asher said. He still thought of it by its old name, the Communist Party.

But in college I began to get involved in church work. I made the decision. I chose God over the material universe."

So you're Catholic."

"CIC.. yes. You're using a term that's under ban. As I'm sure you know."

It makes no difference to me," Herb Asher said. "I have no involvement with the Church."

'Maybe you'd like to borrow some C. S. Lewis."

'No thanks."

"This illness that I have," Rybys said, "is something that made me wonder about-" She paused. "You have to experience everything in terms of the ultimate picture. As of itself my illness would seem to be evil, but it serves a higher purpose we can't see. Or can't see yet, anyhow."

"That's why I don't read C. S. Lewis," Herb Asher said.