King of Shadows
By Susan Cooper
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ONE
Tag. The little kids'
game, plain ordinary old tag, that's what he had us playing. Even though none
of us was younger than eleven, and the older ones were big as men. Gil Warmun
even had a triangle of beard on his chin. Warmun was "it" for now,
the tagger, chasing us; suddenly he swung around at me before I could dodge,
and hit me on the shoulder.
"Nat!"
"Nat's it!"
"Go, go,
go!"
Run around the big
echoing space, sneakers squealing on the shiny floor; try to catch someone,
anyone, any of the bodies twisting and diving out of my way. I paused in the
middle, all of them dancing around me ready to dodge, breathless, laughing.
"Go, Nat! Keep it
moving, don't let it drop! Tag, tag!"
That huge voice was
ringing out from the end of the room, Arby's voice, deep as the sound of a big
gong. You did whatever that voice said, now; you moved quick as lightning. For
the Company of Boys, Arby was director, actor, teacher, boss man. I dashed
across the room toward a swirling group of them, saw the carroty red head of
little Eric Sawyer from Maine, chased him in and out and
finally tagged him
when he cannoned into a slower boy.
"Go, Eric,
go—keep the energy up—"
The voice again, as
Eric's scrawny legs scurried desperately through the noisy crowd; then suddenly
a change, abrupt, commanding.
"O-kay! Stop!
That's it! Now we're going to turn that energy inside, inside us—get in groups
of five, all of you, anywhere in the room. I want small boys with small, bigger
guys together, each group matching."
We milled about
uncertainly. Small to medium, that was me. I linked up with two other boys from
someplace in the South, a cheerful, wiry New York kid named Ferdie, and
redheaded Eric, sticking to me as usual like a little shadow. Arby's big hand
came down and removed Eric straightaway.
"Pick guys your
own size, Sawyer." He replaced him with a bigger boy in unlaced high-tops
and baggy jeans, with an odd face like a squishy pudding. I'd seen him around,
but I didn't know him. Now there were four groups of five, and Eric left over.
Arby put a consoling hand on his shoulder, and faced us all.
"Now cool
it!" The voice boomed out, deep and hypnotic. He was holding Eric like a
walking stick, like a prop; Arby was so completely an actor that sometimes you
couldn't tell where the division was between performance and real life.
"This company is
a family, a big family," he said. "Always remember that. We shall be
performing in a foreign country, we shall be absolutely dependent on one
another, we must each be totally trustworthy." He patted Eric
absently on the shoulder, and Eric looked at his feet, embarrassed. But we were
all listening, waiting.
Arby said, "The
game you're going to play now is an exercise in trust. Trust. In each group I
want one boy in the middle, the other four close round him."
The squishy-faced boy
nudged me into the center of our group. I looked at him in surprise and he gave
me an amiable, toothy grin, "Each of you in the middle," Arby said,
"shut your eyes, straighten your spine, turn yourself into a broomstick.
Then fall, stiff, like a stick. Those of you round him, save him when he falls
toward you, catch him gently, and gently push him toward someone else. Fall. ..
and catch . . . fall. . . and catch .. . This is all about trust. The one falling
must trust the catcher, the catcher must be trusted to catch. Go!"
I wasn't too sure I
liked this game, but I shut my eyes and leaned to one side, falling stiff as a
rail. I found myself against someone's chest, his hands touching my shoulders.
For an instant my cheek was against his face, and then he was pushing me—I
thought: Stiff, stay stiff, Nat—and like a pendulum I slanted toward the
other side. And again hands stopped me, and gently shoved me back again.
So it went, like music
in its rhythm, and it was fun. The feeling of giving yourself to other people,
people you couldn't even see, flicked me back to being a very little kid, when
my mother was still alive. I couldn't remember much about her, but I did
remember how safe she made me feel.
The room was quiet;
there was only the soft sound of hands brushing clothes, and feet shuffling a
little, and a murmur of pleased surprise sometimes that must have come from the
boys in the middle. Maybe from me. Arby's deep voice was a soothing background:
"Fall . . . and catch . . . fall. . . and catch . . . Good, that's the
way. Feel the trust..."
Then, falling, waiting
for the reassuring hands to save me, I found myself not saved but still
falling, and I shouted in alarm and stumbled, clutching for support, opening my
eyes. I caught a look of mischievous glee on the face of the pudgy boy, as he
grabbed me up just before I could hit the floor.
"Wow,
sorry!" he said, grinning, mocking—and then his face crumpled into shock
as a thunderbolt hit him.
"Out!" Arby
was shouting. "You—out of this company! Go home!"
"It was just a
joke," said Pudding-face, appalled. "I didn't mean—"
"You meant
exactly what you did—playing your own little trick. We don't play tricks here,
feller. Nothing is more important than the company, nothing is more important
than the play. You betrayed a trust and I don't want you here. Out! Go pack
your things!"
Pudding-face shambled
out of the room, without a word. Someone told me afterwards that he was a
wonderful actor; Arby had recruited him from a school in Cleveland, specially
to play Bottom in A Midsummer Night's Dream. But back to Cleveland he
went, the very next day. We never saw him again.
"Trust,"
Arby said softly, into the startled silence of the room. "Remember it.
Someone else in the center, now. Keep going."
He pushed small Eric
gently into the center of our
group, in spite of his
size, and Eric gulped, closed his eyes and stiffened his back. The game went
on.
There were twenty-four
of us in the company altogether, if you counted Arby, his partner Julia, Maisie
the stage manager, and Rachel the voice coach. The rest were all boys. The
Company of Boys, chosen by Arby and his committee from schools and youth
theaters all over the United States. We were all shapes and sizes and ages, up
to eighteen. The only thing we had in common was that by accident or experience
or both, we all knew how to act. Supposedly we were the best young stage actors
in the country.
We had one other thing
in common, too. Most of us were pretty weird. When you think about it, a normal
kid wants to watch TV or movies, videos or computer games: there's something
odd about him if instead he's more interested in the stage. And we were all
crazy about it; crazy, and confident that we had talent. Arby had made sure of
that when he first interviewed each of us, last winter.
Now it was summer. By
bus or train or airplane, we'd all been brought to this school in Cambridge,
Massachusetts, to rehearse two plays by Shakespeare together. Some rich theater
nut had left money in his will to have Shakespeare's plays performed the way
they were four hundred years ago, when he first wrote them. There were no
actresses in the theater in those days; the women's parts were all played by
boys whose voices hadn't broken yet. Some of the theater companies were made up
of men and boys, some just of boys. Like ours.
And when we'd
rehearsed for three weeks, the rich man's money was going to fly us across the
Atlantic to London, to perform at the new Globe, a theater that was an exact
copy of the one the plays were first acted in, four centuries ago. We were
going into a kind of time warp. My dad would have thought that was really cool:
he was a big Star Trek fan. But I try not to think about my dad.
Arby called a break
for lunch. That meant going down to the cafeteria of the school zzz where we
were working. Ferdie walked with me—not that he ever really walked, offstage;
it was more a sort of spastic bouncing jive. He draped one arm briefly over my
shoulders.
"That was severe,
man. If he chops guys for little things like that, he's gonna have my ass in a
week."
"I feel bad about
it." I was remembering the horror on the pudgy boy's face, as Arby
banished him.
"He could've hurt
you," said little Eric self-righteously, shadowing me. "Could've
broken your back, if you'd hit the ground."
"But he didn't
let me hit the ground, he caught me. Just a bit late."
"Late is too
late," said Gil Warmun, behind us. He towered over our heads as we all
went down the stairs. "The old man was right—nobody can mess with trusting.
You kids remember that."
"Okay, Dad,"
said Ferdie cheerfully.
"I mean it. You
feel bad about that guy, Nat? That's dumb. He's history and he deserved it.
Grow up."
"Grow up
yourself," I said, stung.
Arby's big voice rang
down the stairwell from above. The man was everywhere, like God.
"Read-through of
the Dream in forty-five minutes,
gentlemen," the
voice said. "And just bear in mind—this is going to be the most sublime
six weeks of your lives, and the shittiest. In the theater, they go
together."
The first weeks were
certainly that kind of mixture. Even that first day. It wasn't literally the
first day, because we'd had a rather muddled week of "orientation,"
but it was the beginning of serious rehearsal.
For the reading, Arby
went on with his game pattern. He had us all sit cross-legged on the floor in a
big circle, with our scripts, and he sat in the middle with a soccer ball in
his hands. He threw his ball at each of us in turn, and when you caught it you
had to say in a loud clear voice the name of the characters you were playing,
then your own name and where you came from. Then everyone said hi to you. Then
you threw the ball back. We'd been through this whole exercise once already, on
the day we arrived, but I have to admit it was helpful to do it again.
The ball came at me,
stinging my hand as I caught it.
"I'm Puck in A Midsummer
Night's Dream, Pindarus in Julius Caesar. Nat Field, from
Greenville, South Carolina."
It was Eric's turn.
"Eric Sawyer.
From Camden, Maine. I'm Mustardseed in A Midsummer Night's Dream, and
Cinna the Poet in Julius Caesar"
We chorused, "Hi,
Eric!"
"Character names
first," Arby said. "They're more important than you are." Little
Eric flushed. Arby threw the ball at the next boy, a tall, brawny character in
a black tank top and black jeans.
"Duke Theseus in
A Midsummer Night's Dream, Brutus in Julius Caesar." He had
a voice as strong as Arby's. "I'm Ray Danza from Chicago."
"Hi, Ray!"
The boy next to him
was tall too, but chubbier, with a mop of curly black hair like a floppy Afro.
"Starveling in
the Dream, Caesar in Julius Caesar. Hy Schwartz from Los
Angeles."
"Hi, Hy—"
and we all broke up, it sounded so silly. Everyone laughed except Arby.
"Get a haircut,
Hy," he said, and he went on throwing the ball.
I was having a good
time all afternoon until the middle of the read-through, when Arby lit into me
for going too fast. He'd already told me twice to slow down, and I'd tried, but
I guess I was nervous. We all were, of course. Everyone had a crystal-clear
memory of the sudden end of Pudding-face's career.
It was in Act Three,
when Puck has a long speech telling Oberon how his queen, Titania, has fallen
in love with a donkey. Oberon is pissed at Titania because she's refused to let
him have one of her servants, so while she's sleeping in a wood, he squeezes
the juice of a magic plant on her eyes that'll make her totally obsessed with
whatever person or creature she sees when she wakes up. (Oberon and Titania
aren't human, they're the king and queen of the fairies—and if that makes you
go "Haw-haw-haw," you might as well stop reading my story right now.)
I started out:
"My mistress
with a monster is in love! Near to her close and consecrated bower, While
she was in her dull and sleeping hour, A crew of patches, rude mechanicals—"
"Puck!" Arby
boomed from across the circle. "I keep telling you, will you slow down!
We're acting this play in England! It's their language, it's called English—you
can't help sounding like an American, but at least you can be in-tel-li-gi-ble.'"
"Sorry," I
said.
"A southern drawl
has a certain charm," Arby said. Everyone was looking at him now. He
smiled his famous warm smile at me, crinkling his eyes—and then suddenly the
smile dropped away and his face was sour. It was as if a light had gone out. "But
a southern gabble is hideous. Vile. You sound like a cross between a monkey and
a duck."
There were some
muffled sniggers around the circle. I wanted to disappear through the floor.
From behind me a girl's calm voice said, "It's okay, Arby—we'll work on it,
Nat and I. Hey—you chose these guys for their talent, not their accents."
It was Rachel Levin,
and I could have hugged her. She was a student at the American Academy of
Dramatic Arts, and she was attached to the company as Arby's assistant and our
voice coach; I guess they felt we'd be able to relate to her because she was so
young. They were right. I glanced around at her and she shook her long hair
back over her shoulders and winked at me. The light glinted on the tiny diamond
stud in the side of her nose.
Arby looked at her
expressionlessly for a moment; I was waiting for him to yell at her.
Rachel looked calmly back. Suddenly he grabbed up his soccer ball, which was
still beside him on the floor, and threw it violently right at her.
Rachel caught it, smooth
as silk, though it rocked her backward. She smiled. "Voice coach and
dragon's assistant," she said. "Rachel Levin, from Cambridge,
Mass." She tossed the ball back to Arby, gently, and the rehearsal went
on.
"He's so
mean," Eric said. "He's mean to everyone. Is he always like
that?"
Rachel was rummaging
in her backpack. She laughed. "I don't think so. He lives with Julia, and
she's quite the liberated lady." She produced a glossy green apple from
the backpack, took a big noisy bite, and passed it on to Gil Warmun.
"Don't take it
personally, Eric," Gil said. "Or you, Nat. He just wants everyone to
know who's the boss." He bit into Rachel's apple and held it out to Eric.
We were all sitting on the tired grass of the riverbank, beside the Charles River
that flows slow and brown through Cambridge and Boston to the sea. Rachel had
been hearing Gil and me do one of our Puck-Oberon scenes, and Eric was there
because, well, because he was always there. It was a hot day, with only a
whisper of breeze, and the air felt thick as a blanket. Joggers pounded by on
the path a few yards away, glistening with sweat, and sometimes bicyclists
whirred past them, perilously close. On the river, long slender boats zipped up
and down, rowed by one oarsman or two, four or even eight; they were amazingly
quiet, and you heard only the small smack of oars against water as the boats
rushed by. Cambridge seemed to be a very competitive place.
I said, pointing,
"Arby is like that!" A single oarsman was sculling furiously upriver,
very close to our bank. As he came by you could see the intensity tight on his
face, and hear the rhythmic gasps for breath.
"Obsessed,"
Gil said.
"Yeah."
"Nothing wrong
with that, though. If he hadn't been obsessed with getting a boys' company to
London, he wouldn't have got the money from that millionaire, and we wouldn't
be going."
"It's not
obsession," Rachel said. She reached out and took the apple back from
Eric, who was already into his second bite. "Not like crew. I know people
who row—if you want to be really good at that, it has to be like a religion.
But theater? It's not a sport, it's not about winning, it's about people."
"And
applause," Gil said, needling. "All those lovely hands clapping.
That's what we all like most."
"Not true,"
Rachel said.
He grinned at her.
"An actor's not much use without an audience."
"There you go
then," said Rachel. "It's about people."
This wasn't a real
argument though, it was cheerful bickering. We all knew Gil was as obsessed as
anyone could be—in his case, with Shakespeare. He'd read every single one of
the plays, and knew huge chunks of them by heart.
"What I like best
is the smell, backstage," I said. I was thinking of the little theater
back at home, where I'd played an evil little boy in a grown-up play last summer.
It had been our space, my space, a kind of home. "Theater smell. Dusty.
Safe."
"Good word,"
Gil said, sounding surprised. He reached out and gave me a quick pat on the
shoulder.
"Safe,"
Rachel said thoughtfully. On the brown water, a pair of mallard ducks paddled
slowly past us, and she threw one of them a piece of apple. The duck looked at
her scornfully, and paddled on.
Eric said, "My
mom thinks theater's dangerous. My dad had to talk her into letting me
come."
Gil fingered his
beard, looking at him deadpan. "She thought her beautiful little boy'd get
attacked by nasty molesters? Not with that hair, kid."
Eric looked
uncomfortable. "She's . . . religious."
"Arby had to do
some convincing, with the younger boys' parents," Rachel said. "They
couldn't understand why they couldn't go to London too."
"Why couldn't
they?"
"This company is
a family!" said Gil, in a perfect imitation of Arby's booming voice.
"Families only have one set of parents!"
Eric looked at me.
"Did yours care?"
"My what?"
"Your parents, did
they get on your case?"
Oh please. I came here to get away from this.
I thought I could get away from this.
I said, "I don't
have any parents."
They all stared at me.
Those faces stunned out of movement for an instant, they always look the same.
An eight slid past us on the river; I could hear the rhythmic creaking of the
oarlocks, and the small splash of the oars.
"Oh, Nat, I'm
sorry," Rachel said.
"I live with my
aunt. She didn't mind me coming, she thought it was a great idea."
Don't ask me, please don't ask me.
Eric asked, direct,
young, a hundred years younger than me: "Are they dead?"
"Yeah." I
got to my feet, quicker than any of them could say anything else. "I gotta
go pee—I'll see you back at the school."
And I was off,
escaping, the way you always have to escape sooner or later if you don't want
to be clucked over and sympathized with and have to listen to all that mush,
or, worse, have to answer the next question and the next and the next. If you
have to answer questions every time, how are you ever going to learn to forget?
It would be better in
London, it would be better in the company; I wouldn't be Nat there, I would be
Puck.
TWO
I loved London. It
wasn't like any of the American cities I'd seen: Atlanta, New York, Boston,
Cambridge. Looking down from the airplane, you saw a sprawling city of red
roofs and grey stone, scattered with green trees, with the River Thames winding
through the middle crisscrossed by bridge after bridge. When the bus first
drove us in from the airport, everything seemed smaller than in the United
States: the houses, so many of them joined together in long rows; the cars; the
highways. There were tall office buildings, but not gigantic; there were
supermarkets, but not the same greedy sprawl. An English taxi-cab wasn't a
regular yellow cab with a light glowing on the roof; it was a boxy black car
whose shape dated back, Arby told us, to the days when it had to have enough
room for a sitting-down passenger wearing a top hat.
Arby was full of stuff
like that. He mellowed, the moment he looked down from the plane and saw all
those lines and curves of little red-tiled roofs. He'd lived in England once,
though nobody knew when or why he'd come to the United States, and somehow
nobody had ever asked. Once he started talking to English people again, he
began to sound a lot more English than he ever had at home.
Some of the Company of
Boys stayed in a London University hostel north of the River Thames; some of us
stayed in regular houses, each with a family. Most of these people were Friends
of the Globe, members of a group who'd spent years helping to raise money to
build the new Globe Theatre, the copy of the one where Shakespeare worked. My
foster family was called Fisher. Aunt Jen had been nervous about letting me go
stay with strange foreigners, until she had a long transatlantic telephone
conversation with Mrs. Fisher and they both ended up swapping recipes for
baking bread, which seemed to make her feel much better.
The Fishers lived in
an apartment in a big ugly concrete block with a great view of the River
Thames. There was a daughter, older than me, called Claire, and a son who was
spending the summer doing a course at the Sorbonne, in Paris. I used his room.
It had black wallpaper and several paintings of very strange, squashed-looking
people, so I didn't ask too much about him. Claire was a serious girl whose
favorite subject was politics, and she was always asking questions about the
U.S. that I couldn't answer. She was very nice to me though; they all were.
When I talked about living with my aunt, it didn't make them inquisitive, it
made them keep their distance; like, oh, there's something private here,
something we mustn't be nosy about. Maybe the Brits are all like that.
Instead of asking
questions, the Fishers made sure they were even nicer to me. They had a flyer
for our plays stuck up on their refrigerator door, and a poster out in the
hallway to advertise us to the rest of the people in the apartment building. the american company of boys, it
said, with weird bright
pictures of Bottom in his ass's head and Caesar with blood all over his toga.
"We have tickets for both your opening nights!" said cozy Mrs. Fisher
happily. "We're looking forward to it all so much!"
Mr. Fisher was a tall,
bald man with a voice that rang out like Arby's, though he wasn't an actor; he
worked in a bank. "But I've done a lot of amateur stuff, y'know," he
said to me. "Trod the boards, after a fashion." There was a faintly
apologetic note in his voice. Because we were to play at the Globe, and perhaps
because we were foreign, he seemed to think of us as professionals even though
we were only boys.
Gil Warmun was going
to be a professional someday, that was for sure. The more I rehearsed, with him
playing Oberon, the more I learned about Puck. I was a mischievous spirit but I
was also a king's servant, and Gil never let me forget it. I ran lines with him
every day before rehearsal, and had acrobatics lessons—they called it
"tumbling"—with the other youngest boys, from an English friend of
Arby's called Paddy, who had first been an Olympic gymnast and then worked in a
circus. I was really happy. We all were. We thought about nothing but the two
plays, and the day when we'd be up there performing them. Though we had classes
every day, they were no more like school than chocolate cake is like rice
pudding.
I had speech lessons
often too, from Rachel, early in the morning at the house Arby and Julia had
rented in Southwark, not far from the theater. It was a tall, narrow house made
of brick, with a tiny front garden full of roses. I was amazed how many London
houses had flowers on and around them, even if only in window boxes. Rachel
lived in this house too, sharing a room with our stage manager Maisie, a quiet,
chunky girl who knew how to yell like a drill sergeant.
Gil was there as well,
in a tiny attic room at the top of the house. He and Rachel were a sort of
couple, though they kidded around all the time. They'd each in turn been Arby's
star pupil at the school where he taught drama, though Rachel must have been
two years ahead of Gil. Next September he'd be joining her at drama school in
New York. Someday I'm going to go there too.
I knew all my lines by
now, and Gil's too.
"I am that merry wanderer of the night.
I jest to Oberon, and make him smile—"
Rachel said,
"'Jest—to.' Two words, Nat." We were having an early rehearsal in the
kitchen, while Julia answered phone calls in the living room. I guess you have
a lot of phone calls to answer when you take twenty kids across the Atlantic
for a month.
"Okay. I jest to Oberon, and make him
smile When I a fat and bean-fed horse beguile, Neighing in likeness of a
filly foal—"
She turned her back to
listen as I went to the end of the speech, and then held up a hand and turned
around again. "It's good—the speed's just right now."
"And not too
southern?"
"Nat—Arby knows
as well as I do that you probably sound more the way they did in Shakespeare's
time than anyone in this company. Or even any English actor."
I looked at her
skeptically.
"It's true,"
she said. "The English and the Scots who settled those Carolina and
Georgia mountains of yours, they took their accents with them. And because they
didn't hear too much else up there, they didn't change, the way everyone else
did." She turned to the sink and started rinsing the breakfast dishes.
"My gentle
Puck," said Gil, "you're a fossil."
"Thanks a
lot," I said.
"Maybe I should
try to match him," he said to Rachel. He jumped up, spread his arms out to
me and put on a heavy fake southern accent. "Ma jennel Perk, cerm
hithah!"
"Poppa!" I
said in a high falsetto, and flung my arms around his waist. Gil was a lot
taller than me.
He laughed, rumpled my
hair with one hand and shoved me away with the other. Rachel rolled her eyes,
and closed the dishwasher. "Time out, comedians," she said.
"You've got twenty minutes before rehearsal."
We were all a bit
edgy, a bit silly, because today would be our first time on the stage. Everyone
was looking forward to that. For a week now we'd been rehearsing in a school
hall in Southwark, a tacky little place that was a temporary extension to a
grade school, with little kids' drawings pinned up on fiberboard walls, and a
smell of disinfectant. We had the outline of the Globe stage, and the two
pillars we had to play around, marked on the floor with tape, but it was a poor
substitute for the real thing. We'd had only a quick tour of the Globe so far;
the regular adult company was playing there, and had needed the theater all day
for rehearsals as well as performances. But now they'd opened their last
production, and we could have the mornings.
Arby had decided we
shouldn't see one of their performances yet, in case it influenced our own
style. Gil and several of the older boys thought this was crazy, and intended
to sneak off and watch, but Arby carefully kept us all working in the tacky
school hall every afternoon—and the English company played in the afternoons,
because that's what the original actors did, in the days before artificial
light. (Today's company did 7:30 performances too, under lights designed to
simulate daylight, but so far Arby had managed to keep all our evenings busy
too.)
There was something
really strange about Arby. He was such an intense guy, and yet sometimes he
seemed to be coming from a great distance, as if he belonged to some other
planet. He scared me a bit, when I first met him.
It was in Atlanta, and
I was playing the small part of the Boy, in a Youth Theatre production of Henry
V Arby had come there on a recruiting trip for his Company of Boys, looking
for actors good enough to come to his auditions. We all knew about those
auditions; they were going to be held in New York two months later, for
"boys between 11 and 18 with skills in acting, singing and
acrobatics."
We were playing Henry
V in a community theater, and we all shared one big dressing room. Arby
came backstage to talk to the boy who was playing Henry, but he kept looking
across at me, with those intent blue eyes, and pretty soon I found him next to
me. "You were the Boy," he said. "Yes," I said cautiously.
"You were very
good," he said. "Very good. What's your name?"
"Nathan
Field," I said. "Nat."
And he laughed. It
wasn't as if he thought my name was funny; it was a weird laugh, sort of
triumphant.
"Yes," he
said. "Yes, of course." The blue eyes were blazing at me; it gave me
the chills. I could see a muscle twitching under his left eye. "Come to my
auditions, Nat Field," he said, "come, or I'll be back to fetch
you."
That stopped the
chills, and anything else in my head; like all of us, I was longing to get into
the Company of Boys. I said, "But on the application, it says 'skills in
acting, singing and acrobatics'—and I'm not a great singer."
"You have the
other two, so that doesn't matter," Arby said. "Doesn't matter at
all. Not for my purposes."
He had the oddest look
on his face, eager and crafty and mysterious all at once, and I couldn't figure
it out at all. But of course I went to the auditions, with Aunt Jen, and he
chose me to play Puck. And that was all that mattered to me. Or to Gil, or Eric,
or Ferdie, or any of us in the company. He'd chosen us, to play at the
Globe.
We ran through the
grey London streets toward the theater. It was an awesome place; right on the
River Thames, facing the banks of pillared granite buildings and glass office
towers on the other side. They'd built it to look just as it had in
Shakespeare's day; it was round, all white plaster and dark wood beams, with a
real thatched roof made out of reeds, that ran in a circle around a gap. The
middle of the building was open to the sky. It was a "wooden
O"—that's what Shakespeare called it himself, in a speech in Henry V.
As we swung around the
last corner, I stumbled and nearly fell. I guess I thought then that I'd
tripped on a paving stone. For that moment, though, I had a strange
giddy feeling, as if
the buildings looming around me were moving, circling. My head was suddenly
throbbing. I thought I heard a snatch of bright music, from some stringed
instrument like a harp or a guitar, and I smelled flowers, the sweet scent of
lilies, like in my aunt's garden—and right after it another scent that was not
sweet at all but awful, disgusting, like a sewer. Was it real? I put my hand on
the nearest wall, to steady myself, and Gil looked back at me.
"Nat? What's the
matter?"
The buildings were
still and safe again around my head. "Nothing."
I ran to catch up with
them, and we hurried on. I said casually to Gil, "What a stink, at the
corner there."
"Was there? I
didn't notice."
But then we were at
the theater, with Ferdie bopping along ahead of us toward the glass doors.
"Hey, Nat! How's
your family, man—where you're living?"
"They're
cool," I said. "I like them." "I had oatmeal for breakfast,
real thick and gooey, you could stand the spoon up. Porridge, they called
it." "Yuk."
"But with cream,
and brown sugar. Turned out pretty good."
"A true artist,
our Ferdie," said Gil. "Concerned with the really important cultural
elements of life."
Ferdie didn't hear
him. We'd just come through the last entrance into the theater, and the sun was
blazing down through the wooden O of the roof, and there ahead of us was the
great stage, five feet high.
"Wow!"
Ferdie said.
We stood in the center
of the theater, where the "groundlings" stood to watch the play—the
people who couldn't afford to pay for seats. All around us, all around the
almost-circle of the auditorium, the rows of seats reared up in galleries, way
high, very steep, and in front of us the stage jutted out. It had two reddish
marble pillars near the front—when you touched them, you found they were
painted wood, but they sure looked like marble. They helped support a small
roof covering part of the stage. If it rained during a performance, the
groundlings would get wet, but the actors wouldn't. The underside of this roof
was painted like a bright blue sky, with sun and moon and stars all up there
together.
The long back wall of
the stage had six small pillars set into it, echoes of the big ones out front,
and three entrances, the central one a big space covered by a painted cloth,
and the side ones two sets of big wooden doors. Above all this was a long stage
balcony, where musicians played when they were needed.
Out onto the balcony,
as we watched, stepped big Ray Danza, dressed in black as usual, as Theseus,
Duke of Athens, and a slim fair boy called Joe Wilson, who was playing his
about-to-be-duchess Hippolyta. Joe was about my age, and like all the boys
playing women, he still had a husky-light voice.
Ray's strong voice
rang out:
"Now, fair Hippolyta, our nuptial hour
Draws on apace; four happy days bring in Another moon—"
For a moment I felt
giddy again; my head buzzed, as if the space were filled with voices. The air
seemed hot, and again I could smell strange sour smells. I put out a hand for
balance, and found myself grabbing Gil's arm. Jolted out of his focus on the
stage, he mistook it for a nudge reminding him we should be onstage soon.
"Hey, yes, come
on—I think it's this way—"
So we slipped out to
find the way backstage, and into our first rehearsal at the Globe, and I forgot
about everything else. It was wonderful. You could feel the play coming alive.
I even found myself enjoying the parts between the four lovers—Lysander and
Demetrius, two of Duke Theseus's courtiers, and their girlfriends Hermia and
Helena—who spend most of the play wandering through a wood trying to figure out
who's in love with who.
Then it was the turn
of a bunch of workmen, real hicks, called Bottom, Quince, Flute, Snout, Snug,
and Starveling, who plan to act a little play at the Duke's wedding feast.
Bottom is the bossy one, he wants to play all the parts—and in real life, now
that Pudding-face was out, Bottom was being played by a loud boy called David
Roper, who was even more obnoxious than his character. I knew him a bit; he was
the one who'd played Henry in the Atlanta production of Henry V, where
I'd first met Arby. When he noticed my existence, which wasn't often, he called
me Kid. From behind the back of the stage now I could hear him bellowing away
out there—and I could hear Arby, from the first gallery where he was sitting,
yelling at him to tone it down.
Then the
"mechanicals," as Bottom and Company are called, came off and Puck
and the Fairy were on, so out I ran onto the stage from behind the back
curtain, turning two somersaults as I went, as Arby had planned it. I rolled to
my feet, looked out at the theater—and was struck dumb. It was so amazing,
being out in the middle of that rearing circle of gallery seats; it was so
scary, it was so close.
I stood there with my
mouth open.
"PUCK!
"roared Arby.
I jumped, saw little
Eric frowning at me onstage, and nearly died of shame. "How now, spirit!"
I said feebly. "Whither wander you?"
"GO BACK!"
came the deep voice. "DO IT AGAIN! Wake UP, Nat!"
This time it was
perfect; I came up from the second somersault just as Eric, running, reached
his mark, and we were facing each other and zipping into the lines.
"How now, spirit!
Whither wander you?" Eric came close, as if to tell me a secret.
"Over hill, over
dale, Thorough bush, thorough briar, Over park, over pale, Thorough flood,
thorough fire, I do wander everywhere. ..."
Eric onstage was a
different animal from meek, shy little Eric in real life. His face was alight
with excitement, his voice clear and high as a flute; he was this eerie little
creature the Fairy, flickering about to serve Titania, his Queen. We darted
through our short scene, telling about the row between his mistress Titania and
my master Oberon:
"—but room,
Fairy! Here comes Oberon!"
"And here my
mistress! Would that he were gone!"
And from either side
of the stage came Gil as Oberon with his gang of magic attendants, and the
amazing-looking boy who was playing Titania, Alan Wong, who had an ageless,
perfect face that might have made you think him a real sissy, if you hadn't
known he was already a karate brown belt at the age of eleven.
"Ill met by
moonlight, proud Titania—"
Even without costume
or makeup Gil looked like a real king, with his back straight and his head held
high. Eric and I had to hang out, each of us behind one of the big stage pillars,
while Titania and Oberon argued about the boy servant they both wanted—until
Titania went away, cross and obstinate, with Eric scurrying after, and I was
left with Gil.
"My gentle
Puck, come hither—"
—and he went on with
his speech with one hand cupped around the back of my head, just the way my dad
sometimes used to hold me. I got goose bumps from the feel of it. That's a
short scene, Oberon sending Puck off to find a magic herb with which he's going
to bewitch Titania (and Demetrius and Lysander too, as it turns out) as a
revenge. I darted across the stage at the end:
"I'll put a
girdle round about the earth In forty minutes—"
Arby boomed out from
in front: "Nat! Can you jump off the stage on that line without killing
yourself? And exit through the house?"
I looked. It wasn't
that much of a drop, and I had a good run-up. "Sure."
"Do it."
"I'll put a girdle round about the earth
(run) In forty minutes—" (leap)
—and I was soaring
over the edge and down to the groundlings' floor, landing with bent legs, staggering
a bit, running for the exit.
"Arby!" Gil
was at the edge of the stage, calling out, concerned. I turned back to listen.
"Arby—he can't do that with an audience there—he'll kill someone! He'll
hurt himself!"
There was complete
silence in the theater for a moment, a dangerous silence. Then Arby said, very
quietly, "Warmun, I am directing this play, for this century, and you will
all do exactly what I tell you."
It was a weird thing
to say, but there was absolute authority in his voice. Nobody said anything.
"It's your cue,
Oberon," Arby said. So Gil went on with the scene, until the point where
Demetrius comes on, pursued by unlucky Helena (who loves him), ungratefully
trying to get rid of her as he hunts the eloping Hermia (whom he loves) and Lysander.
And I went backstage to wait for my next entrance.
It's Puck who causes
most of the trouble in A Midsummer Night's Dream. After Oberon
has squeezed his magic herb's juice on Titania's sleeping eyes, so that she
will fall
in love with the first
thing she sees when she wakes, Puck finds the mechanicals rehearsing their play
in the wood, and changes Bottom's head into a donkey's head. Bottom's friends
run away, terrified—and guess who Titania first sees when she wakes?
Oberon has seen
Demetrius being mean to Helena, and felt sorry for her, so he tells Puck to
squeeze the magic juice on his eyes too, so that he'll switch from Hermia to
Helena. Unfortunately Puck mistakes Lysander for Demetrius, and instead of
sorting out the lovers he makes things worse. Pretty soon neither girl has the
right guy in love with her, each of them is mad at the other, and the men are
threatening to kill one another.
I had a great time
leading each guy about the stage in the dark, putting on a deep voice to make
him think I was the other one—until at last by the end of Act Three, which Arby
had chosen as the place for our intermission, all four lovers were asleep and
things could be sorted out by having Lysander fall back in love with Hermia. I
said, squeezing the juice on his eyelids:
"When thou wak'st
Thou tak'st
True delight
In the sight
Of thy former lady's eye;
And the country proverb known,
That every man should take his own,
In your waking shall be shown:
Jack shall have Jill,
Nought shall go ill.
The man shall have his
mare again, and all shall be well."
And these last three
lines I said out to the audience, or rather to the empty theater where the
audience would be, and they jarred me suddenly out of my happy time, my acting
time. All shall be well. I knew as I said it that it was a lie,
Shakespeare's lie, because I knew from my own life that all does not go well,
but that terrible things happen to people and cannot be put right, by magic
flower-juice or by anything else in this world.
As I stood there on
the stage, for the third time that day there was the weird blurring around me,
as if I were underwater, and a buzzing in my head like the voices of a crowd,
and through it a faint thread of music. The stage pillars and the galleries
beyond them seemed to tilt and sway, and I felt myself stagger.
"Nat?" said
Arby's voice from out front, inquiringly.
Gil must have been
watching me from behind the upstage curtain, because suddenly he was out on the
stage, holding me by the shoulders, looking down into my face in concern.
"What's wrong, kid? Are you okay?"
"Sure," I
said. And sure, yes, I was okay, for as long as the play would last. Until I
got back to real life, where nothing could ever really be okay again.
Gil and Rachel walked
me back to the Fishers' that afternoon, even though the giddiness was gone
again in minutes, just as it had been before. Everyone seemed to be treating me
like some fragile piece of china, even Arby— though I guess that was
understandable because he didn't want anything to happen to his Puck. Eric was my
understudy, and his voice projection was better than his tumbling.
I felt healthy enough,
all through supper with Mr. and Mrs. Fisher and Claire; I even had a second
helping of shepherd's pie, my favorite discovery about British food. But
afterward, as we watched a series on television that always made the Fishers
fall about laughing, I began to feel sick to my stomach, and slipped out to the
bathroom just in time to throw up.
Claire was on her way
to use the bathroom just as I was coming out. She stared at me. "Are you
all right, Nat? You're white as a sheet."
"I lost my
dinner," I said. I tried to grin. "It was so good—what a waste."
I went into my room
and sat on the bed. I felt very cold suddenly; I was shaking all over. Claire
must have gone straight back to her mother, because in a few moments Mrs.
Fisher was beside me, her arm around my shuddering shoulders, her hand on my
forehead.
"It wasn't the
shepherd's pie," I said miserably.
"It's that
twenty-four-hour virus that's going round, I reckon. Were you sick? And
diarrhea?" I nodded, and she gave me a brisk hug. "Poor Nat. Into bed
with you—I'll get something to warm you up."
By the time she came
back, I was curled up in bed in my pajamas. She'd brought a hot drink that she
made me sip cautiously—hot lemon with some sort of medicine in it—and one of
those floppy English hot-water bottles, made of rubber covered with a fuzzy
woolly fabric. I cuddled it to me, like a little boy with a warm teddy bear. My
head was throbbing. I felt really sick, and about four years old.
Mrs. Fisher felt my head again gently. "Try to
sleep," she said. "I'll check you again in a little bit. You'll feel
better in the morning, I promise."
She pulled the
curtains to shut out the daylight, which lasts longer on English summer days
than it does where I come from, and I guess she went away, but that's all I
remember of that night. There's only darkness when I try to look back, and the
feeling of being sick, and the buzzing in my head.
But I'll never, ever,
forget the next morning.
THREE
Between night and morning, Nathan Field has a
dream, a dream of flying.
He flies high, high up, in the dream, up into
the stratosphere, out into space. Space is dark, and prickled all over with
bright stars. Then he slows down, coasting and turning in space, as if he were swimming underwater;
and below him he sees the planet Earth, bright in the darkness, spinning like a
blue ball.
He hangs there for a moment, and then he feels a
hand take his own. He can see nobody, there is simply the feel of the hand. It
holds him firmly, and pulls, and following the pull he dives down, toward the
blue planet. It grows larger and brighter, and he can begin to make out the
patterning of oceans and continents. Down he goes, down, until he is heading
into a white overlay of clouds.
The hand draws him on, on, into the next day.
FOUR
"Nat?" said
the voice. It was a young voice, sort of husky, and it had an accent I didn't
recognize: halfway English, halfway American. "Nat?"
"Unh." I
woke up with my face in the pillow, and even before I opened my eyes I knew
something was wrong. My face and my body told me that I was lying on a
different pillow, and a different bed; hard, both of them, and crackly. The bed
was really uncomfortable. I moved my hip; surely it wasn't even a bed, but a
mattress on the floor.
Maybe I was dreaming.
Blurry with sleep, I turned my head, blinking in the daylight, and saw looking
down at me the face of a boy I'd never seen before. He had long curly dark hair
down to his shoulders, and black eyes, and he looked worried.
"How do
you?" he said. "Is your fever less?" He reached put a cautious
hand and felt my forehead.
I stared at him.
"Who are you?" I said.
"Harry, of
course. Harry, your new fellow. Have your wits gone, Nat?" He peered at
me. "You look—strange, a little. Thin in the face. But better. Dear Lord,
I was afraid you had the plague."
I lay very still, with
all my senses telling me that I had
gone mad. The
plague? Nobody's had the plague for centuries. Everything was different.
This was a straw mattress I was lying on; I could feel bits of stalk prickling
through the cover now. My pajamas had gone; I seemed to be wearing a long shirt
instead. The room around me was smaller, with one window, divided into small
panes. Sunlight slanted in through it to show rough plaster walls, a threadbare
carpet on the floor, and a smaller one draped over a son of bureau. I grew
aware gradually of a rattle and hum of voices and creaking wheels and the chirp
of birds from outside the window, and a stale smell in the room like . . . like
something I had smelled before, but I couldn't think what, or when.
I was baffled, and
frightened, though at least I didn't feel ill anymore.
I pushed back the
rough blanket over me and scrambled to my feet. The shirt reached to my knees.
My head reeled, and the boy Harry saw that I was shaky and reached for my arm.
I realized that I needed to go to the bathroom. I said: "I have to—"
He smiled,
understanding, looking relieved. "Tha must be better if tha needs a
piss," he said, and he drew me to a corner of the room and took a flat
wooden cover off a wooden bucket, whose smell made it instantly clear what it
was for. I stared at it blankly, but Harry had turned away to fold up my
blanket, and since there was no time to argue, I went ahead and used the
bucket. It had been pretty well used already, for assorted purposes. When I'd
finished, Harry came over, glanced outdoors, picked up the bucket, and in one
shatteringly casual movement, emptied it out of the window.
Such a small thing,
such a huge meaning. I guess that was the moment when I first began to think,
with a hollow fear in my chest, that I might have gone back in time. It was
like being in a bad dream, but the dream was real. The night into which I had
fallen asleep had sucked me down into the past, and brought me waking into
another London, a London hundreds of years ago.
I leaned weakly
against the wall. "Where am I?" I said.
Harry put down his
reeking bucket and grabbed my shoulders, hard. He stared nervously into my
face. "Art thou he they call Robin Goodfellow?" he said.
I said automatically,
"I am that merry wanderer of the night."
"Thank the good
Lord," Harry said, looking relieved. "At least thou hast thy
lines." He moved me sideways and then downward, to make me sit. So there I
was, sitting on a little stool topped with a hard cushion, sitting in a century
long, long before I was born.
"Th'art Nathan
Field," he said, looking me deliberately in the eye, speaking slowly as if
to someone deaf or half-witted. "Come to our new Globe Theatre for a week
from St. Paul's Boys, since we lost our Puck for Master Shakespeare's Midsummer
Night's Dream. Th'art a wonderful actor, they do say, though it seems to
me too much learning at that school has addled thy wits. Unless the fever has
done it. Tha joined us yesterday, remember? We rehearsed lines, just thou and I
together."
How could I say: Yes,
I remember? That wasn't what I remembered at all.
"Aah," I
said. Our new Globe Theatre, he had said. In 1999, where I lived, it was
the Globe's four hundredth anniversary. So, if the Globe was new, this was
1599.
I sat there gaping at
him, trying to cope with the unbelievable, with being bang in the middle of
something that was totally impossible. All I could think was: Why is this
happening to me?
"Come,"
Harry said. "It's past five. Master Burbage will be up and ready—dress,
quickly—" And he began thrusting clothes at me from a heap at the bottom
of the mattress; it was lucky he was there, to show me the right order. There
was a kind of padded jockstrap of thick rough cotton; then long dark tights,
like those I'd worn onstage sometimes but much worse fitting; then a bulgy,
padded pair of shorts, a thin floppy undershirt, and a fitted jacket to match
the shorts. A doublet, he called it. Around my waist went a leather belt, with
a knife like a dagger in a leather sheath attached to it.
"And I cleaned
thy shoes," Harry said, and held them out; they were leather, rather like
loafers, with a buckle on top. "Tha couldst never have done it, the way
tha wast last night."
"Thank you,"
I said.
I have to write down
the way he spoke, the way they all spoke, not as they really sounded but as I
understood them. I'll use things like "thou" and "tha" for
"you," sometimes, just to remind you that they didn't sound like us,
but I can't make you hear the real speech. It was like a thick, thick dialect,
with strange vowels, strange words, strange elaborate phrases. But it was more
like the speech of my home than the English of today's London or New York, so
perhaps that's how I understood them and they understood me.
Or then again it could
just be part of the whole
impossible change that
took me there. I was living, but not in real life at all.
A round-faced woman
came in, kind looking, with a long dress, a white pleated ruff around her neck
and a sort of floppy cap on her head. Harry said at once, happily, "See,
Mistress Burbage—'he's well again."
She took my chin in
one hand and felt my forehead with the other. I had the best-felt forehead in
London by now, it seemed to me. "The Lord be praised," she said, and
then she looked at me critically, reached to the bureau, and took a damp cloth
and scrubbed my face with it. I laughed, feebly, and she gave me an amiable
pat. She reminded me of my Aunt Jen, a little; she was a link with the real
world, in this mad dream that I was living.
Down a wooden
staircase we went, clattering, Harry leading; it wasn't much more than a
slanted ladder, with a rail to hold on to. In the room below, a man was sitting
at a heavy wooden table with plates and mugs in front of him, and a sheaf of
papers; he was chewing, and muttering to himself through the mouthfuls.
"Good day, Master
Burbage," Harry said, so I said it too, and Burbage blinked at me. He was
a chunky, good-looking man, younger than Arby, older than Gil. He had a neat
beard, and a rather big nose. His doublet was a wonderful glowing blue, with a
broad collar.
"Better, art t'a?
Good!" he said, and went back to his munching and muttering.
Mistress Burbage
filled two mugs for us, from a jug with a curly handle; all these were made
from a grey metal that 1 found out later was pewter. There was a big round loaf
on the table, and a hunk of white cheese, both on square wooden plates. Harry
cut us slabs from both of them, with his knife. Suddenly hungry, I took a big
bite, chewed, and washed it down with a swig from my mug. The drink was cool,
sour tasting but not unpleasant; I realized, with a shock, that it was a kind
of beer. Ale, they called it, and it was the main thing I drank in all my time
there; a weak homemade ale was the main thing everybody drank, from morning
till night. You could say the whole population of Elizabethan England was
slightly buzzed all day long.
Burbage said to
himself, through his bread and cheese, "If I were fair, Thisbe, I were
only thine...."
So he was learning
Bottom's part. I knew that bit. Bottom the Weaver comes back onstage saying his
lines for the little play they're rehearsing, and his buddies rush away
screaming because Puck has given him an ass's head.
I said, very fast and agitated, "O
monstrous! O strange! We are haunted! Pray masters, fly masters! Help!"
Burbage chewed more
slowly, looking at me. I could see a muscle twitching in his cheek, under his
left eye. It looked sinister, though later I realized that it was just a sign
of mild stress. "Hast played Quince too?" he said.
"Puck is onstage
for those lines," I said.
"Thy memory is
good. Will Kempe says thy tumbling is even better, is that true?"
"I do well
enough," I said modestly, thinking: Wait till 1 show you. I knew
that Arby had put me in the company partly because of my cartwheels and
somersaults, back flips and handstands. For the way he wanted to do the play,
they were as important as my acting or singing.
But I wasn't working
for Arby now.
I had no time to worry
about that; Burbage rushed us through our breakfast, eager to get to the
theater. "Across the bridge today," he said. "No boat. We need
to use our legs."
He swung a wonderful
short cloak about his shoulders, the same blue as his doublet, and Harry jammed
a flat floppy hat on my head and the same on his own. Master Burbage had a hat
with a brim, and a curling, slightly battered feather. He wore it at a jaunty
angle. Out we went, raising the wooden latch of the heavy front door.
And their London swept
over me, caught me up, in a nightmare mix of sight and sound and smell. Even
before six in the morning, the street was filled with people bustling about,
carrying huge bundles, selling fruit or pastries or pamphlets from trays slung
from their necks, dodging to avoid men or horses. Carts clattered over the
cobbles, creaking, rocking, splashing up muck sometimes from the stinking
ditches into which Harry and everyone else had emptied their waste. Water ran
through those ditches, but slowly. There were flies buzzing everywhere. The
whole street smelled bad; so did the people sometimes, if a particularly
unwashed one jostled you too close. Where there were gaps in the crowd,
squawking crows and ravens hopped and pecked and fought over garbage in the ditches.
We passed shop fronts
where bloody meat hung on enormous hooks, or vegetables and fruit were set out
in gleaming rows, or a wonderful smell of fresh bread wafted out from hidden
ovens. We passed a door with a bush tied over it, and the stale smell of ale
strong from inside, and raucous shouting. We stayed close to Master Burbage,
Harry and I, as he strode lordly down the street with his hand on the hilt of
his short sword. People greeted him, here and there; sometimes he lifted his
plumed hat, but he never paused. I scurried along in a blur of amazement,
wonder and the beginnings of fear, past delights and horrors. A dog with no
ears or tail snapped at me beside a bank of glorious roses set out for sale,
and a beggar clutched at me, screaming, a filthy child with no legs, propped on
a little wheeled trolley.
Then we were around
another corner into an even more crowded street, narrow, lined with tall wooden
buildings; between them I caught glimpses of the flat brown River Thames. We
were crossing the river; the street was the bridge. It was London Bridge, I
found out later; the only way of crossing the river except by taking a boat.
There were houses built all along it, a row on either side, their roofs
touching over the road running between. It didn't take us long to cross over;
the Thames was not wide here.
And above the roofs
where the bridge ended was the worst horror of all: a series of tall poles,
with a strange round lump stuck on the top of each, lumps that gleamed white
here and there, lumps attracting flurries of crows and other black birds that
shrieked and tore at them, pecking and ripping and gobbling. It was only when I
saw the farthest pole topped by a grinning white skull that I realized all the
round lumps were human heads, the heads of men and women chopped off by an axe,
and I stopped abruptly and heaved up my breakfast into the reeking ditch.
It occurred to me
later that I'd now thrown up in two different centuries in the space of
twenty-four hours.
Harry patted my back,
consoling me over this last sign of my departed fever. Master Burbage was only
concerned in case I'd splashed my tights.
FIVE
In the Fishers' concrete apartment block
overlooking the River Thames, the boy Nat lies shivering in bed, curled up,
clasping his hot-water bottle, growing gradually warm. He sleeps a
little.
Then he grows warmer, hotter, his fever rising;
he tosses off the bedclothes, muttering, sweating, no longer knowing who or where
he is. Mrs. Fisher comes back to check him. Flushed and damp-skinned, he is
barely recognizable. Alarmed, she tries to wake him, but the fever is
galloping, edging on delirium. She has never seen anything like this. His skin
is on fire, his hair wet with perspiration; there are strange swellings in
his neck. She calls her husband, and in sudden fear they telephone their
doctor.
The doctor is not at home. They call for an
ambulance. It takes the boy to Guy's Hospital: a short swift ride through the
dark midnight streets. In the emergency ward, nurses receive the boy in puzzled
alarm; they start sponging down the fevered body, they peer at the red swollen glands.
Meningitis? The doctor on duty comes, frowns, orders an intravenous line,
blood tests, antibiotics. Surprising the nurses, he orders the boy to be moved
to an isolation ward. Intent, unsmiling, he goes to an office where there is a
telephone with a direct
outside line, and he closes the door. He
calls, even at this hour of 3 a.m., a
colleague who is a specialist in tropical medicine. He says, "You
aren't going to believe this, but I think we have a case of bubonic
plague."
SIX
"There it is—our
new theater!" said Harry proudly. "Hast seen it before?"
"No," I said
truthfully, staring. A white flag was flying from the flagpole on top of the
Globe, the signal to audiences that a play would be done there that day. For
the moment, it was the only thing I recognized. It wasn't the theater itself
that was so startlingly different from the copy that would be built in my time;
it was the surroundings. This Globe wasn't crowded and dwarfed by towering
office buildings; it stood up proud and high, and to the south it looked out
over green fields and billowing trees. In fact there were trees nearly all
around it; once we had left the main street that went over London Bridge, I'd
felt, with astonishment, that we were walking into the countryside. The streets
were still busy and noisy, though, with carts and coaches and horsemen, and
others like us bustling on foot.
Like the Globe of my
own time, the theater looked new; its plaster gleamed white, the reeds of its
thatch lay tight and straight-edged. As Harry chattered proudly on, the
apprentice of the Lord Chamberlain's Men explaining
company to the
borrowed boy from St. Paul's School, realized that it really was new, finished
only a few months earlier. Before that, the company had been playing for years
in a theater—called, believe it or not, just The Theatre—across the river, in
Shoreditch, until their lease on the land ran out and the landlord refused to
renew it. Master Burbage and his brother Cuthbert had just inherited The
Theatre from their father, James, who built it. There it stood, useless, on
ground they weren't allowed to set foot on. Where were they to act?
It was the actors who
solved the problem, Harry said, grinning. Five of them got together with the
Burbages, raised enough money to lease a piece of land here in Southwark, and
hired a master carpenter. ("My uncle," said Harry possessively.
"His name is Peter Streete.") Then, one dark winter's night just
after Christmas, taking a dozen strong workmen with them, they went quietly to
Shoreditch and with axes and sledgehammers and crowbars they took The Theatre
apart. They did it very carefully, numbering each piece, and it took them three
days. The demolition must have been a very noisy process, but Harry said not
many people lived in the area close by.
After that they carted
all The Theatre's major beams and timbers to the River Thames—huge oak beams,
Harry said, some of them thirty feet long—and shipped them over to the other
side. And there, using them for a framework, Peter Streete and his workmen
gradually built the theater that they christened the Globe.
Birds were singing in
the trees outside the theater as we went in. The doors seemed smaller than in
my day, and in different places, so that I couldn't tell whether we were headed
backstage or for the groundlings' pit. I followed Harry and Burbage blindly,
through narrow passages, past busy preoccupied men and boys; the whole theater
had an odd musty, grassy smell that I couldn't place, and everywhere of course
there were the unfamiliar accents and clothes. To keep from thinking I was
crazy, I'd begun to pretend that I was in the middle of a movie set in
Elizabethan times, among actors dressed in costume. It was comforting until
something screamingly real hit me, like those heads over London Bridge.
Two boys hurried past
us, paused, and looked back, calling to Harry. I went quickly on after Master
Burbage, who was climbing a narrow staircase. From somewhere beyond it came the
sound of voices, indistinct but loud, one of them very loud, as if angry.
There was bright light
ahead of us all at once. Master Burbage paused, and I found we had come out
onto the central little balcony at the back of the stage. I had to step over a
coil of thick rope lying on the balcony floor, and saw one end of it tied
firmly to the balcony rail; it was a knotted climbing rope for a quick descent
to the stage, something Arby had planned to use in my own time. I might have
thought myself still in my own time if it hadn't been for Master Burbage at my
side. Ahead and around us were the empty galleries of the theater; above us the
painted sky of the "heavens" that gave the stage its roof—and below,
on the broad thrusting stage, two figures, arguing. One of them—a small, lean,
brown-faced man—was pacing angrily to and fro, thumping his fist into the palm
of his other hand.
"Thou shall never
have me back!" he snapped at the other man. "I shall dance my nine
days' Morris, I shall be
the wonder of London,
and who will come see thy clowns then, I'd like to know! Lose Will Kempe and
you lose his following—and then you will all be sorry!"
"Indeed thou hast
a great following, Will," said the other man mildly. He was sitting on a
stool at the front of the stage, with a book at his feet.
Will Kempe wasn't
listening. "And I shall write the tale of it!" he shouted. "My
own book, I shall write! Th'art not the only wordsmith in this company, only a
great fusser and fiddler who would have every point his own!"
"I tie no
points," said the man sitting down. "I guard only the words I set
down." I liked his voice; it was soft, but pitched to carry. Without
ranting and raving, he was just as forceful as this small angry man. I liked
his face too, lined and humorous above the short brown beard. It wasn't an old
face, but one that had seen a lot.
He stood up, and held
out his hand to the other. "Play our Dream once more, Will,"
he said, coaxingly. "Play once more, before a great lady."
"Tis a dream of
your own," Will Kempe said coldly. "She will not come. And I am gone,
and you and Dick may go hang."
He swung himself over
the edge of the stage, with the nimbleness of an acrobat, and marched across
the floor of the yard—a dirt floor, where two men, oblivious of the shouting
and the fury, were raking up a layer of some sort of coarse grass. Out he went,
out of the theater. The man below us sighed.
Over our heads, doves
were cooing in the thatched roof, a long burbling sound.
Master Burbage called
down, "I told thee! I told thee!
So now I am thy Bottom,
heaven help me."
The bearded face
tilted up to us. "Thou art my top and my bottom and all things between,
Dick Burbage, saving decency." His eyes were a strange color, a dark tawny
mixture of hazel and green. They shifted toward me. "Is this the boy?"
"Will Kempe's
lad, who will not now be playing with Will Kempe." He poked me in the
back. "Greet Master Shakespeare, boy."
Shakespeare. William Shakespeare.
It was as if he'd said, "Say hello to God." I stared down at the
stage, speechless. I suppose we were ten feet or so above him. For a moment I
couldn't move—and then more than anything I wanted to be closer to him. On
impulse I grabbed up the climbing rope and tossed it over the rail; then swung
my legs over and went down it, hand over hand, feet gripping the rope.
Fortunately he was far enough forward that I didn't kick him in the head.
My feet hit the stage.
Harry had jammed my cap so firmly on my head that it was still there, so I
pulled it off and ducked my head in what I hoped was a neat little bow, the way
Arby had taught us.
Will Shakespeare
grinned at me. He wasn't a tall man: he was about Gil's size. His hair was
receding, leaving lots of forehead, like in the pictures you see in books, but
he didn't otherwise look much like the pictures at all. There were more lines
on his skin, lines from laughing, and a thicker beard. He wore a little gold
hoop in his left ear.
"So you are
Nathan Field." The hazel eyes were looking me over, appraisingly.
I said rather shakily,
"They call me Nat."
"Well, Nat,
welcome to the Chamberlain's Men. Thy friend Will Kempe has left us in a
huff—wilt play in our company even now he is gone?"
"Oh yes!" I
said instantly. The words must have come out so fast, so eager, that both
Shakespeare and Burbage laughed.
"When he was my
friend he spoke highly of thy tumbling," Shakespeare said. "And Dick
Mulcaster of thy voice, bless his generous soul. We have all whirled you about
London this past day or two, Nat—do you understand what's happening?"
This was so on the
nose that for a dizzy moment I thought he must know where I really came from,
who I really was. "No, sir," I said.
But he didn't know. He
said, "Three days from now we are to play a piece of mine from some years
past, A Midsummer Night's Dream. We had more boys in the company when
first we played it—now we have only enough for the women, and we lack a boy for
Robin Goodfellow, for the Puck. So Richard Mulcaster, having played the play of
late, has of his kindness lent us his Puck. You."
I wished I could ask
him who Richard Mulcaster was. "1 know the lines," I said.
"Ah. He says thou
hast the memory of a homing pigeon. Who knows, I may keep thee." He smiled
his quick smile, to show he was joking. "We had no love for the Paul's
Boys when we were playing on your side of the river, but Dick is a friend of
mine from long ago. A wise, gentle man. And a gentleman too."
"Yes," I
said. Down in the pit, the two men had finished
their raking and were
starting to untie arid scatter new bundles—of what I now saw was not grass but
a thicker green stem. Reeds, I guess. They gave off the odd smell that I'd
noticed all through the theater; they made a kind of disposable carpet.
"'Ware heads,
below," said Master Burbage from above, and he swung himself over the edge
of the gallery and shinnied down the climbing rope fast and expertly, with his
blue cloak billowing out behind him.
Shakespeare shook his
head. "The man is all actor," he said.
"And a good thing
for you," said Burbage, "considering he plays four parts this week,
all large." He looked down at me, suddenly serious, and glanced out at the
reed scatterers, as if to make sure they couldn't hear him. He said quietly,
almost in a whisper, "Nat Field—one thing I will tell thee that Master
Shakespeare has not, since th'art living in my house and will hear more than
tha should. Our Dream is revived so suddenly not by choice, but by
command. The Queen wishes it. She has a fancy to see our sweet new theater, but
will have us play nothing in it for her but that."
"But this must
not be breathed to a soul," Shakespeare said. "She will come in
secret. Bankside is not Blackfriars, and these are dangerous times."
Burbage took hold of
one of my ears, not gently. "Mention it to anyone and I will cut off thine
ear," he said. "Very slowly, inch by inch."
I thought of the heads
stuck on poles, and decided he might mean it. "I promise," I said.
Will Shakespeare moved
back to the stool and picked up his book. It was not a printed book, I saw, but
a bound manuscript. He glanced up at the sky over the pit; sunshine was
starting to slant down over the edge of the hollow roof. "Time
passes," he said. "This wooden O of ours is a sundial. Classes,
Richard."
I looked at the lines
on his face, and at his ordinary brown doublet and hose, and I thought: Don't
go, please don't go. It wasn't because he was William Shakespeare. I
just knew that I liked being with him, more than with anyone I knew.
He moved away, then
looked back at me. "We shall rehearse together soon, Puck," he said.
"I am to play thine Oberon."
More than anything
from that first day, I remember the noise. You'd think that we have more noise
today in the everyday world, what with traffic and airplanes and so many
different kinds of machines that didn't exist then, not to mention radio and TV
and cassette players. But the London of that time was full of church clocks
striking the quarter-hours, and church bells ringing for services; of watchmen
ringing handbells in the street and shouting out the time, and town criers
calling out the news. Everyone who sold anything shouted out his or her wares.
People have always been noisy, I guess, in towns at any rate. At the Globe
Theatre, nobody ever seemed to speak softly if he could shout.
"Nathan Field!
Where's Nathan Field!"
It was a very large
voice from a very small man; small but fat, dressed all in light grey. He
looked like a button mushroom, and he was marching onto the stage from the
tiring-house, the dressing space behind it, with a group of five boys
straggling behind him. One of them was Harry.
"Here he
is," said Master Burbage. "And the space is thine for half an hour,
Henry—no more." He clapped the mushroom on the back and headed for one of
the upstage exits. Over his shoulder he said, "Master Condell is here to
tie thee in knots, Nat."
One or two of the boys
sniggered. Master Burbage disappeared through the door. Small stout Henry
Condell looked me over critically. "Well, Nathan Field," he said,
"we shall see what a Paul's Boy has to offer us. This precious half hour
is tumbling practice. I will not turn thee into a show. Just try to follow what
the others do."
"If you
can," said one of the boys cockily. He was about my age but smaller; dark
haired, very wiry and agile looking. I guessed he was probably the star
gymnast. Henry Condell glanced at him with something close to dislike.
"Go first then,
Roper," he said. "Somersaults."
Roper did a quick
sequence of somersaults across the stage, light as a feather. The others
followed him, one by one; two of them, Nick and Alex, were quite good, Harry
was so-so; the last, a chubby, fair-haired boy called Thomas, was a real klutz.
He rolled sideways out of his second somersault, and giggled. Master Condell
sighed.
"Follow,
Nathan," he said.
Head over heels over
head over heels I went across the stage, faster than Roper, ending with a jump.
I was better than any of them; but then, somersaults are easy.
The boys watched me in
silence, warily.
"Cartwheels,"
said Master Condell.
One by one we
cartwheeled back toward him; Harry turned two, the others three, Roper and I
four. Thomas tried to turn one cartwheel and ended in a hopeless heap. This
bothered him not at all, and the others seemed to take it for granted, but
Roper snorted in disdain. He opened his mouth to say something, caught Master
Condell's eye, and shut it again.
"Walk on your
hands," said Henry Condell.
Roper and I made it
across the stage; Nick and Alex fell down halfway. Thomas couldn't get up onto
his hands at all.
"Forgive me,
Master Condell," he said cheerfully. "If I practice for a year, I
shall still have no balance."
"You never
practice at all," Roper said.
"Each man has his
own talents," Henry Condell said mildly. "Now—I want to see the
display you have each devised for me in these last three days. I expect to be
gratified, surprised, and dazzled. Or at the least, pleased."
Thomas said, "May
1 be first?"
Master Condell
blinked. "You surprise me already. Very well—let us give Thomas the
stage."
He hopped over the
edge into the groundlings' yard, with startling agility for someone so round,
and we followed him. Thomas stood up on the stage looking pudgy and lumpish,
and very woeful. For the next few minutes the sad expression on his face never
changed, but he went through a mimed routine that was so funny it had every one
of us, even Roper, helpless with laughter. He was playing himself, the
hopelessly incompetent gymnast; he went through a huge effort to complete each
movement, failing more and more disastrously each time. His longing to succeed
was so achingly apparent, and his failure so ludicrous, that it broke your
heart while you laughed and laughed. He was a natural clown, of a kind I've
never seen before or since, and he was brilliant.
Henry Condell said,
wiping his eyes, "Thomas, I thank thee. Thine apprenticeship will never be
damaged by thy tumbling."
That was the start of
my gradually realizing that each of the boy actors in the company called the
Lord Chamberlain's Men was an apprentice, learning his craft. Unlike the boys
who were being trained in schools—the real Nathan Field, for instance—they were
out in the real world very young, learning to act by doing it. The adult actors
were their teachers, and each boy was apprenticed to a particular one of the
adults. Harry was Master Burbage's apprentice, which was why he was living in
the Burbage house.
Thomas ducked his head
mournfully to Master Condell, still with his sad clown's expression, then
caught my eye and flashed me a quick grin.
Each of the boys in
turn got up on the stage after that and went through his own little tumbling
routine: a mixture of required movements and personal tricks put together to be
as showy as possible. If they'd had parallel bars or a vaulting horse, it would
have been like watching mini-versions of Olympic routines. They were all pretty
good, even Harry, who seemed to have fairly inflexible joints, but Roper was by
far the best. He turned cartwheels and back flips and leapt about the stage as
if he were made of rubber, and ended with a double flip that brought out a
gruff "Bravo!" from Henry Condell.
Roper jumped lightly
down from the stage and landed at my side. I said impulsively, "'That was
great!"
He looked at me with a
twisted little smile that had no pleasure in it, just malice. Nobody had ever
taught this boy how to like other people. "Now do better, Paul's
Boy," he said nastily, and he sat down cross-legged on the ground.
What he didn't know
was that I could in fact do better. I'd been good at gymnastics ever since I
was very young; the phys ed teacher at my little grade school in Greenville had
been a passionate gymnast and tai chi expert, and I'd been his protege, even
after I'd gone on to junior high. We'd worked out a real show-off routine that
had been the high point of my audition in front of Arby, when I was trying out
for the Company of Boys. Four hundred years from now.
Henry Condell shook
his head, frowning. "This is not a contest," he said. "Nathan
has not worked on a display."
"But there's
something I can do," I said. "May I?"
Roper laughed.
Master Condell's eyes
flickered from one to the other of us. He didn't really like this situation; he
was a kind man. "Very well," he said.
So I got up on the
stage, ungracefully, and I took a deep breath and I did my routine. It started
with a double flip from standing, and it went on through some really phenomenal
stuff, some of it made out of tai chi movements, to end with a triple back flip
that I only just managed, because of having been sick. I wobbled a bit but I
landed standing, hearing them gasp, and there was a tiny silence and then all
the boys clapped. So did Master Condell.
But not Roper. He just
sat there.
Henry Condell said to
me, "Who taught thee?"
I searched for a name
Will Shakespeare had used. "Master Mulcaster," I said.
Condell's eyebrows
went up, and he looked at me with extreme skepticism. I looked back innocently,
and he frowned uncertainly, and shook his head. "Richard Mulcaster's
tastes must have changed since last I had words with him," he said.
I suddenly remembered
the other name. "And Will Kempe," I said.
Condell's face
cleared, and he laughed. "I had forgot thy connection," he said.
"Angry Will, who has stalked out, I hear, leaving me to find the money to
buy his share in the company. Thy cousin, was he?"
"Will Kempe was
Nat's mother's cousin," Harry said importantly. I had found him suddenly at
my side after I did my show-off turn, though he hadn't paid me too much
attention before that.
I said, "I have
not seen him often this past year." That was certainly true.
"He taught thee
well," Condell said. He was looking at me thoughtfully; I hoped he wasn't
going to ask about the tai chi.
Inside the back of the
theater, someone was ringing a handbell. Roper scrambled to his feet. "Our
time is over, Master Condell." For our different reasons, he and I were
both glad of the interruption.
The boy actors often
had classes in the morning, I discovered—taught by whichever member of the
company was free and willing. After the tumbling class, Master Burbage came
back and gave us a lesson in what the others seemed to call declamation, though
I'd have described it just as verse speaking. Everyone had a prepared speech
that they got up and delivered from the stage. Burbage went up to the very top
gallery of the audience, and bellowed down criticisms from there. The worst
crime was to be inaudible, though it seemed to me that most of the boys were
trying too hard to be heard, and overacting horribly as a result. Master
Burbage seemed to think so too. "Not so much!" he would yell down at
them. "Not so much!"
I didn't recognize
most of the speeches they did. They were pretty ranty and ravy, and I don't
think any of them was from Shakespeare. When it was my turn, I wanted to do the
"To be or not to be" soliloquy from Hamlet, which I'd learned
for my audition for Arby, but it occurred to me just in time that I didn't know
whether Shakespeare had written Hamlet yet, in 1599.
I didn't want to do a
speech of Puck's in case they thought that was the only thing in the world I
knew by heart, so I did Oberon's speech, when he's telling Puck what they're
going to do with the juice of the magic flower that makes people fall in love
with whatever they see. It starts:
"I know a bank
where the wild thyme blows, Where oxlips and the nodding violet grows.
..."
I was so nervous that
I did all the things Arby hates: I went much too fast, and I sounded like a
real southern
boy from the
Carolinas, not at all like an Englishman. While I was rattling along I saw a
movement up in the gallery, as someone joined Master Burbage; I couldn't see
who it was and I didn't care. I was just relieved when I got to the end of the
speech without forgetting the words. But when I'd finished, a voice came soft
but clear from up there, echoing through the theater, and it wasn't Richard
Burbage.
"Well done."
It was Will
Shakespeare.
He didn't stay. He
went away again almost at once, and before long it was another class, given
this time by a quiet, serious man called John Heminges. Fencing, he taught us.
That is to say, he divided us into pairs and he watched us fight. We wore masks
for protection, thank goodness, and we used rapiers, longer and heavier than
any I'd ever seen, with a kind of button on the tip to keep you from hurting or
being hurt.
I fought Harry first.
It was kind of a joke, because I've done hardly any fencing; I just know the
basic moves. And this kind of fencing was different; you didn't parry a sword
thrust, you jumped out of its way, or ducked, or knocked it aside with your
left hand, on which you wore a very heavy leather glove. Harry realized how
little I knew as soon as we started, and was very patient; he never pushed me,
but if we'd been fighting for real, I'd have been dead in the first
half-minute.
Then we changed
partners and I got Roper.
He was as good at
fencing as he was at gymnastics, and twice as aggressive. He wasn't about to be
patient with my clumsiness; he was going to make me look as bad as he possibly
could, to get his own back. He yelled in triumph every time his rapier touched
me, which was every few seconds, and he chased me all the way around the stage,
stabbing and lunging as I backed helplessly off.
"Let be,
Roper!" Master Heminges called at last. "This is the Paul's Boy, is
it not? He has not thy training."
"No—nor any skill
neither," Roper said nastily. And his rapier came full at my throat, and
would have hurt, button or no button, if John Heminges had not grabbed his
sword arm with a large strong hand and twisted it roughly.
Roper yelped with pain
and his rapier clattered to the floor, and I knew I had a real enemy now.
SEVEN
By the time fencing
class ended, my stomach was growling loudly to tell me that it was lunchtime,
though I didn't ask about that—which was just as well since 1 guess the word lunch
wasn't used much in the sixteenth century. They ate midday dinner, anywhere
between 10 a.m. and 2 p.m., and it was the main meal of the
day. For us this time it was a kind of picnic, to be eaten fast before starting
work at the theater. The plays were put on at 2 p.m. every afternoon, close to the times they would be done
four hundred years hence in the theater designed to be a copy of this one, and
if you weren't acting, you'd be working backstage.
Mr. Heminges gave a
few pennies to a bigger boy who'd just joined us, Sam Gilbourne, who was the
senior apprentice, and he herded us outside and bought street food from a girl
with a tray around her neck. It smelled wonderful. We each got a kind of
turnover, a big pocket of tough pastry with meat and potatoes inside, and a
wooden mug of ale from another street seller, a one-legged man with a barrel on
a cart. Sam had six mugs with him in a bag; they were pretty clunky, and
smelled of stale beer, but I was thirsty enough not to care. If you didn't
bring your own mug, you had to drink right there leather thong to the handle of
the ale seller's cart.
The noise outdoors was
stupendous, even an hour before the play was due to begin. The air was filled
with voices shouting and calling, the rumble of wheels, the whinnying of
horses, and over it all the shrill cries of the hawkers selling food and drink.
The streets around the theater were crammed with people, and here and there
tumblers and musicians working their hearts out for an odd coin. It was more
like a fairground than a city street.
We ate our pies, as
Sam called them, perched on a fence over the river, watching long low boats called
wherries unloading passengers at a jetty near the theater. Two or four brawny
men rowed each boat, with long heavy wooden oars. Bigger boats, with sails,
tacked up and down the river; it was much busier than in my day, and much more
open, because there were hardly any bridges. London Bridge was the only one in
sight.
Sam was a friendly,
almost fatherly boy. You could tell from the huskiness of his voice and his
gangly arms and legs that he was going to be too old to play women's parts
pretty soon. But he was to play one this afternoon, in a play called The
Devil's Revenge, in which his character had her throat cut halfway through.
"Pig's
blood," he said cheerfully, chewing a piece of gristly meat. "To be
squeezed from a bladder in my sleeve. And a beating if even a spot of it lands
on my skirt."
Roper snorted.
"And show me a real throat-cutting where the blood does not splash
everywhere like a broken waterpipe."
"No matter,"
said Sam peaceably. "The groundlings are happy so long as they see it
gush. Come, we must go back." He tossed his piece of gristle into the air,
and three screaming seagulls made a dive for it. And I ran back to the theater,
trying to keep up with the group, wondering uneasily where and how Roper had
seen a man's—or a woman's—throat cut.
The Devil's Revenge
was full of blood and murders, and a spectacular swordfight, and from behind
the stage you could hear the groundlings who stood in the yard yelling with
delight. It made great use of a trapdoor in the center of the stage, through which
the Devil carried people off to Hell, and I was given the job of helping chubby
Thomas open and shut the trap, down in the dark space under the stage. Roper
was our signalman, standing a few yards off in a place where he could peer
through a gap at what was happening onstage. He would make a chopping motion
with his hand when it was time for us to knock aside the heavy wooden latch
that kept the trapdoor closed.
We'd been shown what
to do by a tireman, a wizened, grey-haired little guy who grinned a lot, even
though he was missing most of his front teeth. Strictly speaking his job was
looking after the wardrobe ("tire" means "attire" means
"costumes," I found out), but he seemed to me more like a stage
manager. He took us to the "plot," the list of the play's actions and
exits and entrances that hung on the wall backstage, for everyone to check what
they should be doing next. There were three trapdoor drops in the course of the
play, and the cues for each were marked.
The first two went
well; we couldn't always hear the words above us clearly, through the wood of
the stage and the noise of the audience, but Roper's signals gave us our cue.
Each time, Master Burbage, playing the Devil, came dropping down through the
trap clutching another actor, and both of them landed lightly on their feet, on
the big padded cushion that was there on the floor just in case. Burbage caught
my eye the second time, and grinned at me, a startling fantastical grin in the
elaborate makeup that slanted his eyebrows up and out.
But the third time,
nobody was grinning.
I didn't understand
what went wrong, at the time. We knew the cue for the third drop was almost
due, and we were watching Roper carefully for the signal. I was closer to him
than Thomas, and probably blocking Thomas's view. So I was the one who saw
Roper's arm come smartly down in the same swift chopping motion as before, and
I hissed to Thomas, "Now!" We knocked aside the latch and the trap
dropped open—and through it, in a whirl of arms and legs, tumbled Master Burbage,
taken by surprise. He fell on his back, and if it hadn't been for the cushion
he might have been badly hurt.
We heard a great roar
of laughter go up from the audience, who had seen the Devil, in the middle of a
highly dramatic speech, suddenly fall through the floor, and we saw Richard
Burbage's face change from astonishment to furious rage. He caught me a whack
around the side of the head with his open hand, and aimed another at Thomas,
who managed to duck. "Half-wit dolts!" he yelled at us over the uproar
from the theater, and he rushed angrily out.
Then just for an
instant, in the dim light of that darkened space, I caught the tail end of a
satisfied smirk on Roper's face that told me he had deliberately signaled us to
do the wrong thing.
He denied it completely,
of course.
"You waved at
us!" I said indignantly. "You waved at us just the way you had
before."
"I did no such
thing," Roper said coolly. "Thomas, did you see me wave?"
Thomas looked at me,
troubled, but he was an honest fellow. "No, I did not," he said.
"I was too close to Nat— but I know he saw something, he was so
definite."
"He was
mistaken," Roper said. He gave a patronizing little sigh. "His
ignorance made him nervous. They are a soft lot, in the boys' companies."
I was on the edge of
punching him, but Sam's large hand was on my shoulder. He said mildly,
"Thou hast been known to make a mistake, Roper. So have we all."
"Not such a
stupid mistake as this, to ruin a whole play," Roper said.
"Enough!"
Sam said sharply. "The thing is over, and paid for." After the play,
Master Burbage had been angry enough to beat us, and I knew it was only the
fact that I was on loan, and not a regular apprentice, that saved Thomas and me
from a thrashing. But the tongue-lashing he gave us had almost been worse.
"He will still be
angry at the house tonight," Harry said ruefully. "There will be no
supper for you, Nat, and likely not me neither."
Roper said,
"Enough. Let's go to the bear pit. There's time."
We were sitting under
a tree near the theater, all six of us. The adult actors had all gone their
ways, some to their homes, some to an alehouse. Round-faced Henry
Condell had emptied a bag of apples into our
hands as he left. He had heard Master Burbage's rage, and had looked at me
sympathetically, I thought. The apples were small and a bit worm-infested, but
crunchy and wonderfully sweet.
"Time but no
money," Harry said.
"Thou needst
none. I have found a way in. Come." Roper glanced at me maliciously.
"Unless your Paul's Boy has no stomach for it, of course."
So of course I had to
go with them. Through the crowds, through streets that grew narrower and
noisier, full of rougher trade, jostling and cursing. It was the kind of area
where you kept a cautious hand on your purse, if you had a purse. Loud,
quarrelsome men lurched out of alehouses; women in low-cut dresses leaned out
of windows and called softly, or not so softly—indeed some of them came
stumbling out into the streets, calling, clutching at men's sleeves. Harry and
the rest shouted catcalls at them, and dodged their pinching fingers. Trying to
follow Sam, I came face-to-face with one of them, a woman whose dress hung half
open, torn. She was not much more than a girl, but her teeth were blackened and
uneven, and her breath in my face stunk of garlic and ale and decay. There was
an open sore on her cheek, and her eyes were empty, without any expression. She
was probably not much older than me. She was gone in an instant as we rushed
by, but I can still see that face in my mind.
The bear pit was like
a theater, a little; it had the same shape, it had the same outer wall, the
same shouting audience. There were two entrances, with gatherers to take your
penny fee. Roper hustled us past them to a place halfway around the building
where there was a reeking pile of garbage.
"Hold your
noses," he said, and he pulled back a loose piece of wood in the wall,
close behind the garbage, and one by one we slipped through, into the bellowing
crowd. Nobody noticed. We came out under a ledge that was a bit like the space
underneath the bleachers at a baseball field. Galleries ran all around the
walls, like a theater, but the focus of the bear pit was a central arena,
fenced in, with people standing all around.
We were moving through
people so excited they never glanced at us; in the din and confusion it was
hard to know what words they were shouting. Screaming, some of them, men and
women alike. Harry tugged me into a gap, and I looked out into the arena and
saw what they were screaming about.
In the center of the
space, a huge brown bear was tethered by a chain to a heavy wooden post. The
chain came from a collar around his neck; it was maybe four feet long. Around
him, leaping up, snapping, snarling, barking, were three smooth-haired dogs as
big as wolves. I couldn't tell what breeds they were, but they were awesome
muscular creatures, one black, two brown. Teeth bared, they flung themselves at
the bear in furious intent to kill. With wordless, bloodthirsty shouts, the
crowd urged them on.
The bear was
bellowing, striking out with his powerful forearms; his mouth was open, and
foam dripped from his long yellow teeth. In one long swipe he hit the black
dog, and his sharp claws opened the animal's belly like a knife. The dog
screamed. You could see its guts begin to spill out as the body spun sideways
to the ground. The crowd shrieked with delight, or horror, or both, and I
looked away, feeling sick. Around me the other boys were yelling with the rest.
I had to look back.
Two men were dragging the black dog's twitching body away. Another dog was
released into the arena, smaller, chunky as a pit bull; it too rushed at the
bear, but silently, teeth bared in a soundless snarl— and suddenly the three
dogs seemed to start working instinctively as a team. The first two leapt at
the bear from one side, turn by turn, twisting in midair to avoid the flashing
claws, and while the bear's head was turned, straining against the collar and
chain, the third dog jumped for his throat.
The crowd roared. Even
over the din you could hear the bear bellow with pain and rage. His face was
turned full in our direction as he tossed up his head, blood dripping from his
neck, and in sick horror I realized that he could not see.
I shouted into Harry's
ear, appalled, "The bear is blind!"
Harry's cheerful open
face was alight with excitement. "Of course—Blind Edward—they put out his
eyes, for better sport." He shouted in sudden glee. "Look
there!"
In his blind fury the
bear had swung with all his force at the smallest dog, or where he supposed the
dog to be, and had chanced to hit it full on, sideways. The animal was dashed
to the hard ground, lying instantly still, and whether from a slash or a
ruptured artery, blood poured out from its body in a bright pool.
. . . blood on the
floor, bright red, a pool of red blood, spreading...
"No!" I
said, choking, caught inside my memory. "No!" And I flung myself away
from the other boys, stumbling as blind as the bear, pushing my way through the
crowd to find the gap in the wall, and the stinking pile of garbage that was
less sickening than the joy of the people in that shouting crowd.
EIGHT
For three days the
time went by with much the same pattern to each day: classes or rehearsal in
the morning, work during the performance; an hour or two with the other
apprentices before supper and bed. Most of it was like a nightmare. Roper had
decided to turn my life into a misery, and he made the most of every smallest
chance. Because I was such a misfit, there were plenty of them.
There was hardly a
moment when I wasn't aware that I didn't belong. I suppose a lot of it was what
they call culture shock: the business of suddenly finding yourself without all
the little everyday goodies that a kid living in the twentieth century takes
for granted. Not only all the people and places of my life were missing but all
the support systems too: electricity,
gas, plumbing, running water, refrigeration, central heating, regular plates
and knives and forks, packaged food, canned food, paper tissues, toilet paper
.. . Without any of those, living in 1599 was like being on a permanent camping
trip in a third world country. I began to feel grubby all the time, and itchy,
and hungry, and vaguely sick.
At night, it was hard
to sleep. Harry would lie on his mattress beside me, dead to the world,
breathing evenly and peacefully, while I lay lost in my miserable thoughts,
missing my own world, fighting off panic. What had happened to me, and why, and
how? Where was the real Nathan Field? If I'd traveled through some sort of time
warp, how was I going to I get back again?
What was everyone
doing about my disappearance— Gil, Rachel and Arby, and Aunt Jen way over there
at home in South Carolina? Had they told Aunt Jen? Did they think I was dead? A
voice wailed in my head like the voice of a very small boy: I want to go
home ... I want to go home ...
I didn't
let myself cry, because the last time I cried was when my father died, and that
was something not to be thought about, not ever. Instead I'd lie there
listening to all the little sounds of the Elizabethan night: the small outdoor
shrieks of animals or birds, the rustling indoor sounds that might be rats or
mice or cockroaches. I wouldn't fall properly asleep until the first faint
glimmer of dawn, and then there were very few hours left before the early beginning
of our day.
The other boys, I
began to realize, thought that my oddness was the result of my
background, Nathan Field's background. As Roper liked to remind me, I was a St.
Paul's Boy, a sheltered, educated softie from the choir school, where you
performed plays only once or twice a week, in a swanky indoor playhouse for
rich highborn folk. If my accent was different from theirs, my diction or
training or vocabulary, they knew it was because I hadn't been thrown out into
the world at the age of ten and apprenticed to a company of actors.
Even my everyday
clothes, I belatedly noticed, were better than theirs. I was privileged, living
here only as a loan, and I would shortly go back to my privilege. (Would I
really? Was I to have to cope with a whole separate new life again soon, at St.
Paul's School? I fought off panic at the thought of it.) Roper's principal
reason for his extreme dislike of me was simple envy.
But I didn't feel
privileged or enviable. I'd never been more miserable in my life.
Roper made a great
story out of my reaction to the bearbaiting, and told it to anyone who would
listen. He buttonholed two of the younger actors, Bryan and Phillips, one
morning, as Harry, Thomas and I were sweeping the stage with twig brooms before
rehearsal. Roper was supposed to be sweeping too, but he stood twirling his
broom, reciting his tale with malicious glee while the actors smiled
indulgently. He had begun to refer to me as "the little lass," which
filled me with fury.
"So the bear
pulls the guts out of Ned Ashley's dog— tha knows? the big black hound?—and the
little lass looks a bit green, she closes her eyes. Then she really has
a fainting fit when Quayle's terrier has its head smashed open. 'No!' she calls
out"—he put on a high, ridiculous falsetto—"'No!'—and she runs away
with her petticoats all abuzz—"
"Leave me alone,
Roper!" I said angrily, as the actors chuckled. I wanted to bash him with
my broom, and he saw it. He swung his own broom up into the air, holding it out
like a barrier with one hand at either end.
"Quarterstaves,
is it?" he said, and he came at me, pushing me with the flat of the stick,
nudging me to the edge of the stage.
"Hit him,
Nat!" said Thomas indignantly. "Pack him off!" And I was on the
verge of doing just that, which of course was just what Roper wanted, when one
of the actors, Bryan, strolled languidly across the stage, and then suddenly,
startlingly, drew his dagger and held it straight out between us.
"Good actors do
not quarrel," he said. He didn't look at me, but I think he was feeling
bad about having laughed.
"And brooms are
for sweeping," said a deeper voice, behind him.
Everyone turned to
look. It was Will Shakespeare, just come onstage from the tiring-house.
Roper wilted, in
immediate respect. Bryan put his dagger away. Shakespeare's eyes flickered from
one to the other of us, and he chose to keep things light rather than heavy.
"By your leave, good sirs, I need the stage for half an hour," he
said. "I also need a Puck without a broken head."
They were gone before
you could see them go; they all evaporated, like early mist. Will Shakespeare
smiled at me, moving to stage center, and without another word he went straight
into our first scene together in A Midsummer Night's Dream, after
Titania has had her fight with Oberon and left in a huff.
"Well, go thy way; thou shalt not from this
grove Till I torment thee for this injury. My gentle Puck, come hither—"
He beckoned me.
Instinctively I obeyed the direction that Arby would give me four hundred years
from now, and I went to him in a double somersault. I came up on my feet
close enough for him
to touch me. Shakespeare, surprised, laughed aloud. He made no comment, he just
went on.
"—thou remember'st Since once I sat
upon a promontory, And heard a mermaid, on a dolphin's back, Uttering
such dulcet and harmonious breath, That the rude sea grew civil at her
song, And certain stars shot madly from their spheres, To hear the
sea-maid's music?"
"I remember,''
I said. Puck doesn't have too much to say in this scene. Master Shakespeare
went into Oberon's speech about the magic flower that he wants fetched
("love-in-idleness," which he told me later was another name for a
pansy) and sent me off to find it.
"Fetch me this
herb, and be thou here again Ere the leviathan can swim a league."
I was hopping around
him like a bird longing to fly.
"I'll put a
girdle round about the earth In forty minutes—"
That was my exit line.
I remembered Arby's direction, and I paused, uncertainly. "Can I go off
through the house?"
"Through the
house?" Shakespeare said.
I pointed into the
auditorium.
"No, no," he
said firmly. "That is for clowns, and not clowns of my liking. Thy place
is the stage."
"Tumbling,
then?"
"Show me."
I threw myself hand
over hand and cartwheeled across the stage toward the exit door. Arby had
worked this out too, for a different scene, and I knew it looked good from the
front. Shakespeare chuckled.
"Very
pretty," he said. "I have a dancing Puck. Yes— and let thy tumbling
carry thee right off the stage and out of sight. Find a trusty door opener, to
save thy head."
"Yes! "I
said happily.
"Do not choose
young Roper," he said, and smiled wryly when he saw me blink. "Oh,
Nat," he said. "This company is a family, close and closeted. We all
know what that miserable boy is at, and I am sorry for it, and for thee. But he
is talented, and useful, and apprenticed to my friend Heminges—canst forgive us
thy troubles, for the play's sake?"
He put his arm over my
shoulders and gave me a quick hug. And to my absolute horror, I fell apart. It
was the sudden warmth and sympathy, the fact that somebody understood—and not
just anybody, but him. I heard myself give a great ugly snorting sob, and
suddenly, hating it, I was in a flood of tears.
Will Shakespeare was
astonished, and probably appalled. By accident, he'd released an emotional
overload far bigger than he expected—and far bigger than I could ever explain
to him. Not that he gave a thought to explanation; he sat down abruptly on the
stage, pulling me down with him, and sat there with his back against the great
wooden pillar while I sobbed into his shoulder. He didn't try to stop me; he
just waited, patting me gently, saying softly once in a while, like a mother to
a very small child, "There. There now."
In a little while he
said quietly, "There is more here than persecution by a nasty boy. What
ails thee, Nat? What is it, this terrible buried sorrow? Dost miss thy
parents?—where are they?"
How did he know, to go
to it so fast and direct, through four hundred years? He thought he was coping
with lonely Nathan Field of 1599, but his instinct took him ahead through
centuries, to a truth that he couldn't possibly have sensed. Like an arrow he
went to my haunting, which I had tried so hard and so long to hide from
everyone, and most of all from myself. With a small innocent question, he made
me dig myself out of a grave.
I lifted my head off
his damp sleeve and looked out at the groundlings' yard, though I wasn't seeing
it. "She died when I was five," I said. "She had cancer. She was
very pretty and she smelled of flowers, and she used to sing to me. But she
died, and that left my dad and me, just the two of us. My Aunt Jen—she's his
sister—she came to live with us, to help, and after a while things got better,
I thought. Dad would play games with me, and I'd help him in the garden. He
liked his garden, he had rosebushes for Mom."
Will Shakespeare was
sitting absolutely still, listening, waiting.
"My dad—" I
said, and I had to swallow, to keep going. "My dad missed her. I was all
he had left, and I tried to be enough for him, but I wasn't. I wasn't enough.
He went on missing her. One day I came home from school early. And he was lying
on the floor of his study, he'd killed himself. He had all her old letters
around him, there was blood on the floor, bright red, a pool of red blood,
spreading." I had to swallow again. I could see it all so clearly.
Shakespeare shifted a
little. He said quietly, "Nat Field. Thou hast a lot to bear."
Suddenly I wanted to
defend my father. "He didn't mean me to find him," I said. "He'd
locked the door and left a note for Aunt Jen, with the key. He just didn't know
there was a spare key." I felt another sob come welling up like a huge
bubble. I tried to stop it, but it came out as an ugly croak.
Will Shakespeare sat
there with his hand on the back of my neck, rubbing it gently. "I have
seen men die," he said. "Too often, and always for bad reasons. But
here is thy father dying for love of a woman, and that is even harder to bear,
especially for his son. I had a son—" He stopped.
I said, "Had?"
"He died, three
years ago. He was just your age. A sweet pretty boy."
I said, "I'm
sorry."
"Thy loss was the
greater," Shakespeare said. "I have two daughters still, one of them
his twin."
"What was his
name?"
"Hamnet."
I said, thinking I'd
heard it wrong, "Hamlet?"
"Hamnet,"
Shakespeare said. "He was named for my oldest friend, and my daughter
Judith for his wife." He turned his head and looked at me oddly.
"What dost thou know of Hamlet?"
"Only the name," I said.
"I have a new play in mind, for Burbage—"
But he was looking at my face more closely, and 1 guess he saw it was still all
covered in tears and snot. He pulled a cream-colored handkerchief from a slit
in his sleeve, and mopped me up. Then he took hold of my chin to make me look
him in the eye, straight and serious.
"Listen to me," he said. "Do not
say thou wast not enough for thy father. Never say that. Some things are beyond
our command. A man so caught and held—men will destroy much for love, even the
lives of their children, even their own lives. I have a poem that I shall copy
for thee, that thou shalt read and remember. Remember."
He jumped to his feet and called out, to an
invisible Helena leaving the stage:
"Fare thee well, nymph; ere he do
leave this grove Thou shalt fly him, and he shall seek thy love."
It was my next cue for coming onstage. I sniffed
hard, took a deep breath, and stood up, facing him.
He said: "Host thou the flower there?
Welcome, wanderer."
I held out an imaginary pansy. "Aye, there
it is."
Shakespeare smiled. "—I prithee, give it
me.
I know a bank where the wild thyme blows...."
And on we went, into the rest of our scenes
together, until one of the tiremen came looking for him to put him into his
costume, because soon the day's play would begin and he had a part in it.
Shakespeare tugged at his beard, exasperated.
"We are but halfway through our scenes, and two days hence is the Dream,
with this our untried Puck—"
"And thirty minutes hence is Master
Jonson's play," said the tireman unsympathetically, "and thou not yet
in reach of thy costume."
I pulled back the curtain at the back of the
stage to let them into the tiring-house, which was buzzing with actors and
musicians. Master Burbage was there, painting a spectacular depraved makeup
onto the chubby face of Thomas, who was to play an elderly whore. Shakespeare
was still lost in his own head as the tireman, clicking his tongue like an
anxious mother, began unbuttoning his doublet. "Richard," Shakespeare
said to Burbage, "a thought—let us have the boy's things taken from thy
lodging to mine, since time is so short. Breakfast and supper may give me the
space to run lines with him."
"Hold this," said Burbage, thrusting a
dish of purple paint into my hands. He dipped in a brush, and began painting
the closed lids of Thomas's eyes. "Lord love you, Will, you'd think there
were no other play toward in London but this little Dream of thine. Nat,
canst tolerate living in the house of a mad poet for a few days?"
"Oh yes sir," I said. "I think
so."
NINE
Isolated in Guy's Hospital, the boy Nathan lies
half-conscious in bed, his head tossing from side to side on the pillow. His wrists are
tied to the bed by padded restraints because he has twice pulled the
intravenous line out of his arm, and that line—carrying fluids,
nutrients, and antibiotic drugs—is the only thing keeping him from
death. The nurses are not troubled by the unfamiliarity of his face, because
they have never seen him before; nor by his strange ramblings and cries
of fear, because he is semidelirious and cannot be expected to behave like a
normal boy. They are concerned only with the astonishing fact that he is
suffering from bubonic plague, once known as the Black Death, and that
he must, if possible, be cured.
Chubby Nurse Stevens, who has just been sponging
the boy's thin, fevered body as best she can, pulls a sheet over him and
rests a gentle hand briefly against his cheek. Nathan opens his eyes and stares
up at her, distraught; he can see only her brown eyes, in the dark face covered
by the white mask. The eyes crinkle, as she smiles at him behind the mask, and without
really thinking about it, she hums him the tune she was singing last
night in St. Anne's Parish Hall, at a rehearsal of the early music group
that is her only recreation.
Lullay lullay, my littel tiny child. . . .
It's a pretty tune—a carol, really. In
the sixteenth century, mothers used to sing it to their babies. Nathan's head
stops tossing. His eyes gradually close, and he falls asleep.
TEN
So I found myself
living in the house where Will Shakespeare lodged, and where, for the time
being, he wrote his plays and his poems. He spent hours at a time sitting in an
upstairs room, scratching away with a quill pen, beside a window that looked
out onto a crab apple tree. The pen must have driven him crazy; he had to trim
it often with a special little sharp knife, and a bristling bunch of big new
feathers sat on his desk waiting for the moment when he threw the old quill
irritably on the floor and reached to sharpen a new one. I longed to be able to
hand him a ballpoint pen.
He was up there in his
room my first day, when Harry and I brought my clothes from Master Burbage's
house, and the woman who looked after him, Mistress Fawcett, wouldn't let us go
upstairs. She was a fat, friendly soul, and gave us each a handful of little
sugary cookies as consolation.
"Nobody must
disturb him when he's writing," she said reverently. "But in any case
thou art to sleep down here, Nathan—the room behind the kitchen. Too warm for
summer, perhaps, but cozy."
Harry was deeply impressed
by my room, which wasn't much bigger than a closet. It was the bed that did it:
a little wooden bed, not unlike the one I had at home, four hundred years and
three thousand miles from here. "A jointed bedstead!" he said,
big-eyed. "And sheets, look! And a pillow!"
Mistress Fawcett had
smiled proudly. Her house was quieter than Master Burbage's, even though it was
in a busier area; it was set back from the road and had a walled garden behind
it that Master Shakespeare's room and mine both faced. The streets all around
were hopping, though. This was a district called a "liberty," free
from all the rules and regulations that had to be obeyed in the proper City of
London across the river. Will Shakespeare lived in the Liberty of the Clink, in
Southwark, a short walk from the Globe Theatre.
The London I'd come to
from the U.S.A. was a huge city, stretching for miles on both sides of the
Thames. But this London seemed to be tiny, just the walled city that held the
Tower, with villages dotted all around. And here in Southwark, just across the
river, we were in a noisy seaport that was quite separate.
Because I was Nathan
Field, the sheltered lad from St. Pauls School in the more law-abiding City of
London, nobody would let me out in the streets of Southwark on my own. Mistress
Fawcett wouldn't anyway, next morning, though I protested that I knew my way
and that I had work to do. The play that day was to be Henry V, and when
we weren't being princesses or waiting-women, we boys would be rushing on- or
offstage as French or British soldiers, or both.
"Wait for Master
Shakespeare," said Mistress Fawcett obstinately, putting her large self
between me and the door. "He will leave for the playhouse in good time, he
always does."
"But he's
writing—"
I stopped, remembering.
My father had been a writer. One year when Aunt Jen was into needlepoint, she'd
made him a little rectangular cushion, bright green with black letters on it: man at work. When his study door was
shut and the cushion propped beside it, you didn't disturb him, not for
anything. The only day when he hadn't thought to put the cushion outside his
door was his last one.
I suddenly realized I
was thinking about him, without panic or tears, in a way I hadn't done since he
died.
But before I could
wonder why, there was a great confused noise outside the front door: hoofbeats,
and jingling harness, and men shouting. Mistress Fawcett frowned. Someone
hammered at the door, and she frowned more darkly, and flung it open.
It was a serving man
who had been doing the hammering, though he seemed to me as grandly dressed as
a lord, with a gold crest embroidered on a red silk doublet. Out in the street
behind him, in a straggle of gaping passersby was a gleaming coach with four
beautiful horses stamping and tossing their heads, and the same crest was
painted on the coach doors.
The knocking man said
loftily to Mistress Fawcett, "My Lord desires the presence of Master
Shakespeare."
"Master
Shakespeare is working," said Mistress Fawcett curtly. I got the feeling
she'd come across my lord before and wasn't impressed.
The man stared at her.
"Then he must stop!"
"Let be,
Anthony," said a voice from the coach, and out of its shadowy inside
stepped an amazing-looking young man: tall, handsome, swirling a brilliant
yellow brocade cloak around his shoulders, wearing on his head a tall
curly-feathered hat. He looked confident as a king, though there was something
about his mouth that made me think of a spoiled little boy.
He glanced past
Mistress Fawcett and me contemptuously, as if we weren't there, and
automatically we moved to one side as he swept into the little hallway.
"Will!" he called out, loud and imperious. "Will!"
Master Shakespeare
must have heard the commotion already, because he was standing at the top of
the stairs, with his doublet and shirt both unbuttoned and a quill pen still in
his hand. He looked as if he had just come back from somewhere a long long way
away, and left his head behind him. "Go away," he said.
The young man paid no
attention. "I must speak with thee!" he said, and he bounded up the
stairs and swept Master Shakespeare back into his room. The door closed, and
within a few seconds you could hear the indistinct blur of raised voices from
inside.
Mistress Fawcett
snorted indignantly, and slammed the front door in the face of the lordly
serving man. She looked up the stairs, and then turned to me, with a small odd
smile. "Nat," she said, "we are going to stay very quiet in thy
room for a while."
Puzzled, I followed
her through the kitchen into my tiny bedroom. She beckoned me toward the far
wall, and she stood close to it, sideways, with her ear against the rough
plaster. I tiptoed over and did the same—and coming down through the wall,
perhaps through some air-filled gap between the laths, I could hear the voices
from above. They were clear now. 1 glanced up at Mistress Faw-cett; she put her
finger to her lips.
"1 will
not!" said Master Shakespeare loudly, through the air and plaster.
"It would be so
easy a thing!" said the nameless lord. His voice sounded exasperated.
"Tell her an actor is sick, a major actor—so you cannot play the
play."
"She would simply
ask for another play, not requiring that actor."
"You said she
particularly requested A Midsummer Night's Dream."
"So she did, but
also she is coming to see our new Globe Theatre, and sample the enjoyments of
the common man. Of course, of course, the monarch does not go to a public
theater—we take our plays to her at Court. When invited. But Gloriana is a
monarch who does not always obey her own rules."
"Gloriana?"
I looked at Mistress Fawcett. "Who's Gloriana?" I whispered.
"The Queen, of
course!" she whispered, and frowned at me.
"And rash, and
willful, and must be kept from dangers of her own making." The lord's
voice softened, dropped, became cajoling. "Will, my dear—Sir Robert is
much concerned over the perils of this escapade. If you would be in his good
graces, you would do well to stop it happening."
"Is that a
threat, my lord?" Shakespeare sounded icy.
"Of course not!
But thy debt to Southampton and thereby to Essex is well known, and that
faction may be dangerous—"
"I have no
debt!" Shakespeare shouted at him. There was a moment's pause, and then
you could tell he was trying to control his voice, but it was still fierce and
cross. "My lord, thou know'st I am not political. I am a tedious burgher
from Stratford, a player, a maker of plays. I do not play games outside the
theater—I have no desire to go the way of poor Kit Marlowe. And I will not take
sides!"
There was the abrupt
sound of his door opening, and Mistress Fawcett and I hastily jerked our heads
away from the wall. She scuttled into the kitchen and busied herself with
punching down a bowl of dough that sat rising on the table; I stayed in my
little room, and listened to the blurred sound of footsteps on the stairs,
voices at the door, and pretty soon the sounds of horses and carriage jingling
and clattering away.
Shakespeare's voice
came calling, clear and abrupt: "Nat! To the theater—now!"
He strode through the
crowded, reeking, muddy streets of Southwark, so fast that I had to trot to
keep up with him. "Factions!" he said irritably, half to himself.
"Factions! A plague on both your houses!"
"Romeo and
Juliet," I said, smarty-pants, before I could stop
myself.
Shakespeare glanced at
me, distracted, and slowed his pace a little. "A sharp memory right
enough, this boy Nathan. Hast played Juliet?"
"No," I
said. I'd never fancied the lovey-dovey parts in his plays, even for the sake
of being the lead.
"No," said
Will Shakespeare, looking down at me as he walked, reading my
mind as usual. "Our Nat is not a romantic beauty. Th'art a sprite, an
aerial sprite, born of the air. One day I shall write thee an airier Robin
Good-fellow—unless thou leave me, or grow old."
He grinned at me, and
for a moment I glowed all over and wanted to say: I'll never leave you, I want
to act with you forever. Instead I said awkwardly, "Was he very
important, that lord with the carriage?"
Shakespeare frowned.
"He thinks himself so," he said, but he didn't tell me who the man had
been. And the theater was looming ahead of us, with the white flag flying, and
the usual bustle of people and horses and street vendors—and a large beruffed
lady, her skirts trailing in the mud, shrieking after a running figure:
"Cutpurse! Cut-purse! Stop, thief!"
But the scurrying
thief escaped into the crowd, and Will Shakespeare and I into the door that led
to the tiring-house, behind the stage.
In the boys' corner of
the tiring-house, Roper was going through his lines with Thomas. He was to play
the Boy in Henry V; it was a good part, this perky streetwise kid who hangs out
with the roughneck soldiers Pistol and Bardolph and Nym, but is bright enough
to deserve better. I'd met a few Boys back in twentieth-century America, and it
wasn't hard to spot them on the streets of Elizabethan London. Maybe Roper was
one himself— though he had a serious job as an apprentice, and if the company
kept him on after his voice broke as a regular actor—a hired man—he'd have a
good enough life.
I wondered whether
that's what would happen to me, if I never managed to get back to my own time.
They were a funny
sight, the two of them sitting there running lines: Roper in his streetboy
costume, Thomas all painted and bewigged and gowned to play Alice, the French
princess's attendant. They had reached the scene where Pistol has taken a
French soldier prisoner in battle, but can't talk to him because he doesn't
speak French. He's using the Boy, who's better educated, as interpreter.
Thomas read Roper his
cue:
"Come hither, boy; ask me this slave in
French What is his name."
Roper said,
pronouncing it exactly as it's written: "Ecoutez: comment etes-vous
appele?"
Thomas said, mildly,
"You don't pronounce the z in ecoutez. And the e isn't
like English. It's not ee-coo-tez, it's ay-coo-tay. And the next
part—"
Roper snorted in
scorn. "Who do you think is going to know the difference?"
"Anyone who
speaks French."
"Nobody in this
audience will understand French, outside the Lords' Rooms."
Thomas rolled his eyes
at me in mock horror, and I grinned at him. An hour or two earlier, he and Nick
Tooley, who was playing the Princess Katharine, had been onstage rehearsing a
scene Master Shakespeare had written entirely in French. Probably Roper knew
only his own scenes.
Thomas said to me, "Parlez-vous
francais, Nat?"
"Bien sur,"
I said, because I did know some French— not much, but a year's worth. "Je
parle francais. Un peu."
Roper glared at me.
"Who asked you?"
"Well, Thomas
did, actually. In French."
"Trust the little
lass from St. Paul's to have some girlish talent to brag about," said
Roper nastily. "I don't want a French lesson, Thomas, I just want to run
my lines."
"Very well,"
Thomas said amiably, and Roper went on spouting his impossible English French.
I listened, remembering the lines from the time I'd played the Boy in
Washington, D.C., when I hadn't understood any French words either. I'd had a
terrible time learning the right way to say them, which is I suppose why they
stuck. Roper clearly hadn't had a terrible time—he'd barely tried.
By the time the
trumpeter climbed up above the stage to blow the fanfare that began the play,
we boys were all dressed up as pages and attendants for a court scene, and the
men in gorgeous robes: Master Burbage as King Henry, Henry Condell as the
Archbishop of Canterbury, very grand. As usual, there were constant nervous
visits to the "plot," the list of entrances and exits that hung near
the stage in the tiring-house, and whenever Master Burbage came offstage he
made a beeline for the book-keeper, a small bespectacled man who sat beside a
window—out of the traffic but handy to the stage—with the play's text on his
lap.
"What's next,
after the Boar's Head, what's next?" "Be calm, Dick. The traitors'
scene—'Now sits the wind fair, and we will aboard. . . .'"
Burbage went away
muttering: "Now sits the wind I fair...." and the tireman
seized him, to change his robe. Everyone always had trouble remembering lines,
under the pressure of five different plays to perform every week, and there was
a fair bit of improvising. "Thribbling," they called it; isn't that a
great word? But when the play was by Will Shakespeare, actors tried not to
thribble, because Master Shakespeare was not pleased when people put in words
that were not his own. Thomas said this had been the main reason for
Shakespeare's row with Will Kempe, who was inclined to make winking asides to
the audience in the hope of getting an extra laugh.
Henry V went
wonderfully well. Burbage was a terrific Henry, and the groundlings loved him;
they cheered when he swashbuckled, and stood still as mice when he had a quiet
moving speech, like the one that begins "Upon the King. ..."
They were hugely patriotic; they hissed the French so fiercely that it was
quite frightening to come onstage as a French soldier and see all those hostile
faces scowling and shouting at you. They also cheered something that surprised
me—but before that there was a bit of drama that surprised me even more.
Roper had come
offstage after a scene in Act Three that had included his biggest speech; he'd
done it really well, and got a lot of laughs from the groundlings. I wanted to
tell him it was good, because we were all actors, even though he was such a
pain—but he was full of himself, and kicked at me when he found me in his way,
though not with enough concentration to hit me. After that I forgot about him,
because the rest of us had to mill about onstage as French soldiers—but once we
were back, there he was again, stirring things up even though Master Burbage
was onstage doing Henry's best big speech.
"We few, we happy
few, we band of brothers. ..."
I was standing in the
tiring-house trying to listen, when Roper came slipping past me, snatched an
apple from the tireman's table, and started to chomp on it. Eating backstage
was strictly forbidden while a performance was going on, and the man reached
out to grab him, hissing a warning. Roper took a bigger bite, dancing out of
his way, chewing, mouthing some cocky jeer as he moved— and then he choked.
He stopped absolutely
still, clutching his throat; after one awful first croak he didn't make a
sound. A piece of apple must have gone right into his windpipe. Onstage, a
cheer went up as Burbage finished his speech, and John Heminges, all in armor
as Lord Salisbury, rushed onstage through an entry door. Augustine Phillips as
the French herald Mountjoy waited for his cue at the opposite side. Neither of
them noticed the bigger drama going on backstage as everyone not in the scene
hurried to crowd around Roper, banging him on the back, desperately trying to
save him. He stood there terrified, suffocating, his face a dusky red, his eyes
popping; in all the turmoil he could do nothing but flap his hands in a
speechless plea for help.
I didn't think, really;
I just knew what they ought to be doing, because Aunt Jen had taught me, the
year before, when she was taking some lifesaving course at the Red Cross. I ran
over to Roper and shoved Nick aside, spilling the water he was trying to get
Roper to drink.
"Look out!"
I said, and I stood behind Roper, put my arms around him, made a fist with one
hand between his ribs and his belly button, put my other hand over it, and
jerked in and upward, hard. So the air was pushed up out of Roper's lungs, up
through his windpipe, and the piece of apple popped out. It fell out of his
mouth and he hung there over my arm, making awful noises, great croaking gasps
for air. But he was breathing.
The voices from the
stage went echoing on around us, but everyone backstage was staring at me. I
looked at them, and felt uneasy; they looked almost as scared as they had when
he was choking.
Nick said, amazed,
"What did you do?"
I guess I babbled,
because I was nervous. I said, "It's called the Heimlich maneuver, some
guy called Heimlich invented it—" And they went on staring, and I realized
too late that I was sounding completely like a modern kid, because in
Elizabethan England they didn't use the word guy or probably the word maneuver
either, and how could they know who Mr. Heimlich was, when he wasn't going
to be born for hundreds of years yet?
I said lamely,
"My aunt showed me how."
Then Roper rescued me.
He threw up on the floor.
And suddenly the
book-keeper was there, very agitated, with the actors playing Pistol and the
French soldier, and he was hissing at us to be ready to run onstage fighting,
for the battle scene out of which Pistol would seize the Frenchman prisoner.
Pistol looked in
horror at Roper's white face. "What ails the boy! Our cue is next! We need
him!"
I didn't think this
time either, I just jumped in again—
and this time my brain
nearly died of shock when it heard what I said.
"I can do
it," I said. "I know the scene." Theater people can move very
fast sometimes. In that theater particularly, I guess they were used to people
being able to jump into other people's parts in an emergency. Before you could
blink, the book-keeper whipped off the French soldier's surcoat I was wearing,
and the tireman pulled Roper's jerkin off his back and onto mine. Thomas
grabbed up Roper's pages from somewhere and thrust them under my nose, for a
quick frantic reminding look, and then fireworks were being set off onstage in
a sequence of huge bangs, and clouds of smoke from a crude smoke machine being
puffed out from a backstage bellows, for the battle effects, and Pistol grabbed
my arm. And we were on.
The first few lines of
that scene belong just to Pistol and the French soldier, fortunately. It gave
me a chance to get my bearings, before the dreaded cue.
"Come hither, boy; ask me this slave in
French What is his name."
I almost shouted my
line, I was so nervous: "Ecoutez: comment etes-vous appele?"
I forget the actor's
name, but he sounded marvelously French. "Monsieur le Fer," he
said.
The next line was easy
to remember. I said to Pistol:
"He says his
name is Master Fer."
Pistol rolled his
drunken eyes. "Master Per! I'll fer him, and firk him, and ferret him—discuss
the same in French unto him."
There was a ripple of
laughter from the audience, and a drunken voice from the yard shouted,
"Ferret him! Ferret him!" But my next line came into my head too.
"I do not know
the French for fer, and ferret, and firk."
That got a real laugh,
probably helped by the fact my voice went up into a squeak because I was so
scared—and then suddenly I was all right, I was the Boy, I was acting, and we
went sailing through the scene, loudmouthed Pistol and the terrified French
prisoner and me. I picked up the cues, I remembered the French speeches^there
were only two really—and the audience carried us along. The other two were
really good actors, caricature-funny; the groundlings loved them.
My only bad moment was
my last speech, the Boy alone onstage after the other two have gone off; I did
an awful lot of thribbling. But I was helped by the fact that I'd come way
downstage, so that I was right on top of the groundlings: I fixed my eyes on
one man near the front, with a round red face and two front teeth missing, and
said everything right to him. It was a perfect eye contact; he was gaping at
me, fascinated. And I did remember to say the last line, telling that the
English camp was guarded only by boys—and that was the most important, because
what happens then is that the French invade the camp and murder all the boys,
and that makes King Henry truly furious.
So it all went okay,
and I slipped offstage as the French soldiers came running on the other side.
I'm not sure the audience ever knew or cared that they'd been watching a
different Boy from the last one they'd seen. A boy was a boy; what they cared
about was the story.
In the tiring-house I
ran straight into Roper, and he threw his arms around me. He smelled terrible,
because of having thrown up. I guess he knew that, since he let me go almost at
once, but he stood there looking at me very seriously. He said, "I thought
I was dead. Tha saved my life."
"And me only a
little lass," I said.
Roper looked down at
his feet. He said, rather muffled, "Tha saved me a beating too. Missing
that cue— missing that scene—Master Burbage would have—"
"Cut off thine
ears," I said. "One by one, very slowly, inch by inch." I grinned
at him, which took some effort because my doing the Heimlich business had
nothing to do with him. As far as I was concerned he was the same mean little
monster he'd been before. He didn't grin back; he went on giving me this same
earnest look. I think Roper was feeling an emotion he'd never had to cope with
before: guilt.
"I am in thy
debt, Nathan Field," he said stiffly. "I shall not forget."
He patted me on the
shoulder and I gave a sort of awkward shrug. I was wishing I knew the
Elizabethan way to say, "Okay—just stop bugging me from now on."
Will Shakespeare came
sweeping past us toward the stage, pulling on the robe he wore as Chorus,
ignoring an anxious tireman running after him with his hat. He caught sight of
me, and stopped suddenly, and the tireman bumped into him, frantically holding
out the hat so it wouldn't get squashed. From the stage we heard a great cheer;
Master Burbage had reached the end of the scene in which King Henry hears that
his little army of Brits have managed to kill ten thousand Frenchmen in battle
while losing only twenty-nine men themselves. (Ten thousand? Are you kidding
me?) Shakespeare paused for a moment, gazing at me, but he had no chance to say
anything, because his cue had come: the tireman plunked his hat on his head,
straightened it, and pushed him around to face the stage. And as Master Burbage
came stalking backstage through the door stage right, out went Will Shakespeare
stage left, to face the world, our world, the audience.
"Vouchsafe to those that have not read the
story That I may prompt them. ..."
I stood behind the
stage hangings, listening. He had a wonderful voice, clear and warm and sort of
mid-brown. I was as happy that moment as I think I'll ever be: standing there
listening to him, knowing I was part—and a useful part, just now—of his
company, safe in the small family world of the theater. I wanted it never to
end.
Shakespeare went on
with that speech that tells the audience how King Henry is now coming back in
triumph to London from France, and I was half hearing it, half just enjoying
the sound of his voice, when a few particular words came, interrupting my vague
head because suddenly they didn't make sense.
"Were now the General of our gracious
Empress— As in good time he may—-from Ireland coming, Bringing
rebellion broached upon his sword, How many would the
peaceful city quit To welcome him!"
Empress? Ireland? I
didn't understand. I'd never noticed that part before. And then there was a
huge cheer from the audience at the word welcome, so that Master
Shakespeare had to wait for them to quiet down before he could go on.
"Much more, and much more cause Did
they this Harry...."
Close to me, Tom the
book-keeper was sitting with his script, listening, looking sour. I said in his
ear, "What are they shouting about?"
"Essex, of
course," he said. "Where hast'a been, boy? Pretty Robin, Earl of
Essex, who is in Ireland about the Queen's business putting down rebellion. And
let's hope, not starting one of his own." But he dropped his voice on this
last bit, and his eyes flickered cautiously to and fro.
I remembered Will
Shakespeare protesting that morning to the nameless lord that he was not
political, and wondered why, in that case, he had dropped such an obvious
compliment to the Earl of Essex into his Henry V.
It' didn't seem to
bother Roper, who was clapping along with the audience, his face bright and
intent. Behind him in the shadowy tiring-house I saw Master Burbage, listening
too, caught into stillness after his bustling exit from the stage. He was King
Henry, confident and magnificent in his gleaming armor, but suddenly his face
was quite different. He was shaking his head, uneasy. He looked frightened.
ELEVEN
I began to be
frightened too, that evening, for the first time—even through the delight I had
from being with Will Shakespeare, being one of the Chamberlain's Men. Partly I
was afraid of this business about the Earl of Essex, whatever it was.
Shakespeare had some connection with him, the nameless lord had called him
dangerous, Master Burbage was clearly nervous—and worst of all, though I could
remember very little about Arby's potted history of Elizabethan England, I did
remember that Queen Elizabeth had had Essex's head chopped off. So that Essex
was about to end up, sooner or later, among those terrible pecked-at skulls
stuck up over London Bridge.
Why did that happen,
and when? I was afloat in Time, I didn't know where I was.
But I did know one
other thing that worried me. In less than twenty-four hours' time, we would
perform A Midsummer Nights Dream in front of the Queen, and after that the
Chamberlain's Men would have no more need for Nathan Field, and he would be
sent back to St. Paul's School, where he came from. What would become of me
then? I should lose Will Shakespeare—and be faced with the friends and family
of the real Nathan, who would instantly know that whoever I was, I was
certainly not Nathan Field. If I felt I had very little place in my own world
anymore, I was going to have even less in this one. It was terrifying, like
facing a drop over a huge cliff.
In fact it was so
terrifying that I pushed it out of my head, and tried to concentrate on the
shadowy Earl of Essex instead.
After Henry V and a
break, we rehearsed A Midsummer Night's Dream until dark, though without
Bottom the Weaver, because Master Burbage was exhausted. He took a nap on a
mattress at the back of the tiring-house, oblivious of us. I loved doing my
scenes with Will Shakespeare— and I loved our costumes, which the tireman
produced for a fitting. They were wildly fantastical; Shakespeare had
shimmering robes over a bare chest and full, shot-silk pants, with a weird
headdress and antennae on his head.
I was to wear gleaming
green tights, like the skin of some exotic snake, and nothing else but a lot of
body paint. The tireman told me that the tights had cost the equivalent of six
months of his wages, so that he would personally destroy me if I tore them. He
showed me a drawing of the design for the makeup on the rest of me.
"Master Burbage will paint you," he said, "but not till the day.
It will take almost an hour."
Shakespeare said to
me, as we were waiting for an entrance, "I hear thou leapt into the breach
this afternoon."
"It was good
luck," I said. I was going to tell him I'd played the Boy before, but I
suddenly remembered that it was a new play. "Uh—I'd been listening to
Roper rehearse, and I have a memory like a sponge. So I remembered his
lines."
It sounded improbable,
but he seemed to believe it.
"And what ailed
our friend Roper?" he said.
"He was
ill," I said evasively. "Something he ate."
Will Shakespeare
looked down at me with an odd smile. "My small magician," he said.
And then it was our cue, and we went through the door to the stage.
The other boys were
more interested in Roper's choking and its cure than in my having done his
scene. They made me uneasy: they were looking at me warily, as if I'd grown
another head. Harry said, "What didst tha do to him?"
"If someone
chokes, you hold him from behind and push hard into his belly, so the air
pushes up out of his lungs and blows out whatever he's choking on. That's
all."
"Who taught thee
how?"
"My aunt. I told
you."
Harry and fair-haired
Nick Tooley looked at each other like conspirators. Nick said, "Is she a
wise woman?"
"Well, I suppose
so," I said. It wasn't quite how I would have described Aunt Jen, who is a
perky little person with a grey ponytail.
"Ah," said
Nick, and nodded his head. He and Harry looked at each other again, and then at
me, with what I felt was a mixture of respect and fear. It was creepy.
After rehearsal Will
Shakespeare went with five other actors to a tavern not far from the Globe, to
eat supper and drink and talk. He took me with him, which was great by me.
Harry came too, because Master Burbage didn't want to pay for two river
crossings home to Shoreditch in one night. The tavern was noisy and smoky, full
of shouting red-faced men, and bustling girls trying to carry trays of mugs and
avoid having their bottoms pinched; Master Burbage led the way right through
the main room to a quieter one at the back. We sat at a battered, heavy wooden
table and ate bowls of a really good kind of stew, spicy, with onions in it,
and hunks of new bread, and afterward Harry and I drank cider and tried not to
fall asleep.
The actors fell into
separate serious conversations— Master Burbage particularly earnest with Will
Shakespeare, away in a corner, the two of them alone together. Pretty soon
Harry and I were slumped against the wall near the glowing wood fire, which was
comforting because the nights were decidedly cool even though it was August. At
least, it was August in the world I had come from, so 1 assumed it was the same
here. I never saw a calendar, and I never thought to ask. This London had all
its bells ringing to tell you what time of day or night it was, but those were
the only landmarks of Time to be seen or heard.
I said, "Harry,
is it something special, to be a wise woman?"
Harry was drooping
over his mug. He yawned. "A wise woman is a witch, of course."
I felt suddenly cold.
Harry blinked himself awake, and caught sight of my face. "What ails
thee?"
"Nick Tooley
said—about my Aunt Jen—"
Harry laughed.
"Bless thee—anyone would be glad of a white witch in the family, to heal
the sick and save life. Even Roper's life."
"But—people
burned witches—"
"Not unless they
do harm." He hoisted himself upright, back against the wall. "Th'art
an odd one, Nat
Field—th'art such an
innocent. Like a baby. Tha knowst so much, and then sometimes tha knows
nothing."
"I've led a quiet
life," I said. I took a breath. "Tell me about the Earl of
Essex."
Harry took a swig of
cider, and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "Tell what?" he said
cautiously.
"Anything."
He shrugged.
"Well, he is a fine lord, and handsome. We played at his great house, my
first year as apprentice, and the Queen was there. She laughed with him a lot,
and they whispered together. He was her favorite then. He is Earl Marshal of
England, and they still cheer him in the streets."
I said, "They
cheered the lines about him in the play today."
"Aye. But he
angered the Queen somehow, he angers Robert Cecil who leads her Privy Council.
Now he is in Ireland, with Will Shakespeare's patron Southampton, sent to stop
the Irish from joining with our enemies in Spain. But my father says he is all
ambition, he is dangerous."
There was that word
again. "What sort of dangerous?"
Harry looked around
nervously, though there was nobody in the room except our masters, drinking ale
and spouting solemn words at one another. "The Queen is growing old, and
has not said who will succeed her. London is full of spies—Spain longs to take
England—" He stopped, and looked at me helplessly. "Dost not know any
of this, Nat?"
I hung my head and
tried to look dim-witted. "There is no chance to hear street talk at St.
Paul's—we are shut up like little nuns."
"Nobody trusts
anybody, that is the sum of it. They talk of plots, of assassinations—the
Queen's doctor was hanged and quartered two years ago, because Essex said he'd
tried to poison her." Harry glanced across at Master Burbage, still deep in
talk with Will Shakespeare. "And those who know she is coming to our
theater are frightened of it, they think people might do her harm. Master
Burbage would stop her coming if he could." "He's afraid of the people?
The audience?" "You heard how they cheered my Lord of Essex, who
is on the outs with her."
I looked at Richard
Burbage, leaning forward anxiously to Will Shakespeare, tapping one long finger
on the table to make a point. I saw Shakespeare shake his head vigorously; then
he pushed back his chair with a screeching, scraping noise, and stood up. He
called to me, pulling on his cloak.
"Nat? Come away,
boy. Time to go home." So the party broke up, and everyone went off into
the dark night to their respective homes. Master Shakespeare and I trudged in
silence through the streets of Southwark to his lodging, in the company of a
hired linkman: a kind of bodyguard, who carried a burning torch that gave off
some light and a lot of bitter-smelling smoke, and had a heavy stick in his
other hand to fight off anyone who tried to rob us. I don't know why they were
called linkmen, but they were nearly always big battered-looking fellows with
large muscles and a few missing teeth, and the muscles were reassuring. Since
there were no policemen in Elizabethan London, and no streetlights, there was
no shortage of robbers and other villains. It was wise not to go out alone at
night, not without a dagger or a sword or a linkman, or all three.
A fine drizzle began
to fall, and I was damp and dismal by the time we reached the lodging. Mistress
Fawcett had left two candles on the chest just inside the front door, with
flint and steel; Shakespeare lit them. They burned with a smoky, flickering
flame, and the house was full of dark dancing shadows. I only had to live in an
Elizabethan house for one night to long for flashlights, and lightbulbs, and a
switch to turn darkness into light.
I took my candle,
mournfully. All my worries were thronging round my head, and now the distant
Earl of Essex was the least of them; I could think of nothing but my despair at
the prospect of having to leave Will Shakespeare.
I said, rather wobbly,
and quietly so as not to wake Mistress Fawcett, "Master Shakespeare?"
He was about to climb
the stair to his room. He looked tired, his eyes shadowed. "What is
it?"
"When the play is
over—instead of going back to St. Paul's—could I—would you take me as your
apprentice?"
Shakespeare laughed
abruptly, in surprise; but he held up his candle and saw my face, and stopped
laughing. "Nat, my dear—th'art enrolled at St. Paul's, th'art one of
Richard Mulcaster's prize actors, I am told. He would never let thee go."
I couldn't explain to
him, I couldn't tell him Richard Mulcaster would take one look at me and demand
the real Nathan Field. Maybe I would even be accused of having murdered him, in
this dangerous world where Roper had seen throats cut.
I said miserably,
"I shall be so lonely."
Shakespeare put his
hand on my shoulder. He was thinking of me as the orphan boy, I knew; thinking
my head was haunted only by the death of my father—as it had been, too, until
now. Perhaps he was thinking of his own boy Hamnet as well.
"Go—get into thy
nightshirt," he said. "And I will bring thee something."
The little room behind
the kitchen was wanner than the hallway had been, but still chilly. I scrambled
out of my damp clothes and into my thick linen nightshirt, draped the clothes
over a chair, and huddled down under the blankets. The candle by my bed sent a
thin stream of black smoke quivering up to the ceiling, and the shadows swung
and flickered on the wall. Then new shadows danced over them, and Will
Shakespeare came into the room. He was carrying his own candle in one hand, and
a sheet of paper in the other.
He went down on one
knee beside the bed, probably feeling the little bedstead would collapse under
him if he sat on it, and he showed me the paper. "This is a sonnet I
copied for thee after we talked the other day," he said. "It is about
love, and loving. I wrote it for a woman, but it could just as well be for thee
and thy father. I give it you to remind you that love does not vanish with
death."
I looked at the page;
it was covered in the cramped Elizabethan handwriting that I could never
understand.
I said, "Will you
read it to me?"
Shakespeare looked a
little taken aback, but not displeased. He was an actor, after all. He tilted
the page so that the candlelight shone on it, and very quietly and simply, he
read me the poem.
"Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O, no! It is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand'ring bark
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be
taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and
cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out, even to the edge of doom.
If this be error, and upon me prov'd,
I never writ, nor no man ever lov'd."
Before 1 could say
anything, he held out the page to me, and stood up. "I have no picture of
what may become of us after we are dead, Nat," he said. "But I do
know thy father's love for thee did not die with him, nor thine for him. Nor
mine for my Hamnet—or for this lady. Love is love. An ever-fixed mark. Remember
that, and try to be comforted."
He said
"fixed" as if it had two syllables. I remember that.
I took the stiff,
curling paper, and put it carefully smooth under my pillow. "Thank you
very, very much," I said.
"Sleep well,
sprite," Shakespeare said. He bent down and kissed me on the forehead.
Then he blew out my candle, and went out, carrying his own. The shadows
flickered away with him, and left the room dark.
TWELVE
Mrs. Fisher stands at the Information desk of
Guy's Hospital, on the Southwark bank of the River Thames. She's waiting for
someone to become free to speak to her; this is a huge and very busy hospital.
Beside her stands a smallish woman in the trademark raincoat of the
American tourist visiting England; her face looks younger than her grey
hair. She is Jennifer Field, who has flown from Greenville, South Carolina, to
London, alarmed by the astounding news that her nephew Nat is in the hospital
suffering from bubonic plague. She looks around her at the bustling, echoing
lobby of the hospital, feeling lost.
"I don't know which ward," Mrs. Fisher
is saying now to a friendly face behind the desk. "They've had him
isolated, on the top floor. It's Nathan Field, his doctor is Dr. Ravi
Singh."
The friendly person taps at her computer
keyboard, and inspects the screen. "I'm afraid you can't see him. Not
yet."
"But this is the right time for visiting hours, isn't
it?"
"I'm awfully sorry, but it says 'Absolutely
No Visitors'
against his name."
"This lady is his aunt, she's flown all
the way from America to see him."
"Tell you what," says the friendly
person, "I'll let you talk to the duty nurse."
She reaches for the telephone, and soon Jennifer
Field is explaining herself to the soothing voice of Nurse Stevens.
"Tomorrow," says Nurse Stevens.
"Or maybe the day after. Hasn't Dr. Singh reached you yet? You'll see your
nephew, you might even be taking him out. He's much better, we took him off his
IV this morning."
"But can't I just see him for a moment now?
He'd love to see someone from home. This is crazy—what harm could it
possibly do?"
Nurse Stevens is inclined to agree, but Dr.
Singh is strict, and orders are orders. "I'm sorry, really I am, but Dr.
Singh wants to be careful, it being such a rare disease. Don't worry, Miss
Field—Nathan's going to be fine."
Jennifer Field says rebelliously, "This
is all nonsense. I'm going to call Dr. Singh."
"Please do," Nurse Stevens says.
"Well—thank you. It's not your fault, I
guess. Tell Nat— tell him Aunt Jen is here, and sends him a big hug."
"Indeed I will," says Nurse Stevens.
"Good-bye." And she puts down the phone, up in the high ward, and wonders how best to communicate
this message to the strange boy with the heavy accent that is not quite
American and not quite West Country English. He is no longer really ill, thanks
to the antibiotics, but seems wholly disoriented, with no idea of where
he is or what has been happening to him.
And what on earth, she wonders, can his
background be like? He seems never to have seen a thermometer before, or a washbasin, or even a
toilet. He fought like a tiger the first time she tried to put a blood
pressure cuff around his arm, and when he had his first glimpse out the window
of this fifteenth-floor room, he screamed. As for his personal habits.
... He picks up food with his fingers, or on the point of his knife, and
everything goes downhill from there on. Nurse Stevens plans to get him into a
bath today, and to wash his long hair. She expects to become very wet in the
process.
She opens the door to Nathan Field's room, and
sees his wide-eyed unhappy face turn toward her, on the pillow.
"I want to go home," he says.
"Prithee, ask thy master to let me go home."
We were up with the
sun the morning of the performance. The sky was a hazy blue, and the birds were
shouting. I was so nervous I didn't want any breakfast, but Mistress Fawcett
made me sit down and eat a bowl of bread and milk. It sounds awful—cubes of
bread soaked in warm milk, sweetened—but it was comforting, and the idea of it
must have survived the centuries, because Aunt Jen used to give me the same
thing when I was sick. Once when I had the chicken pox I wouldn't eat anything
else for three days.
Will Shakespeare was
so nervous he wouldn't eat anything at all. He changed his doublet three times
in half an hour, and looked no better in the third than he had in the first.
Unlike Master Burbage, he had very little of the peacock in him, and all his
clothes were serviceable rather than showy. Even his one gold earring was very
small. Mistress Fawcett had told me that within the past year he'd bought a big
house in Stratford, his home in Warwickshire, and that he would be paying for
it for some time yet.
When he was back in
the brown doublet and white shirt that he had started with, we walked to the
theater, over the square cobbles of the street, which were hard and
lumpy through the thin
leather soles of Elizabethan shoes. It had rained during the night, and the
roofs and roads were still gleaming and new-washed; the crows were hopping and
quarreling over garbage, here and there, but the smells weren't so bad as
usual.
Wagons were creaking
through the streets, loaded with sacks and baskets of fruit and vegetables from
the country, for early delivery; the horses' hooves clopped over the cobbles,
echoing to and fro. You had to dodge them, but you could walk without the
constant shock of hands tugging at you, because the beggars weren't about yet:
the dirty barefoot children; the old soldiers missing an arm or a leg or an
eye, or all three; the hollow-eyed, stringy-haired women with whimpering babies
in their skinny arms. Ahead of us, over the rippling green tree-tops, the flag
was already flying from the roof of the Globe, announcing that a play would be
given there today. Not many people knew quite how special this performance
would be.
Will Shakespeare was
striding along, silent. I had to hurry to keep up.
I said, tentatively,
trotting at his side, "Do we know if ... Do we know who will be
there?"
"If there are
soldiers, that will tell thee," he said. And that was all he said, until
we reached the Globe.
In the theater, even
though it was so early, Richard Burbage was onstage with the other
"mechanicals," rehearsing their Pyramus and Thisbe play. They were
very funny, especially round-faced Henry Condell as Moonshine. While I was
watching, I completely forgot to wonder about the Queen. I stood in the
tiring-house, peeking
at them from the
corner where the book-keeper would sit, trying not to snort with
laughter—though it's a rare actor who objects to hearing a laugh, unless of
course he's trying to make people cry.
There was a sort of
scuffling behind me, and I glanced around. Two of the extra men, hired by the
day to help fetch and carry, were dragging in a rolled stage hanging, a long,
unwieldy cylinder of painted canvas. I knew them both by sight; they'd been in
the theater for most of the week. They caught sight of me, and the first one
stopped in his tracks and stood stone-still, so that the second tripped over
the canvas and yelped crossly at him. The other began to move again—but before
that, just for a moment, he raised one hand at me with the first and fourth
fingers pointing, and the others clenched into the palm by the thumb. It was a
swift little gesture, but unmistakable. Then they laid the stage hanging at the
back of the room, and were gone.
But I'd seen that
gesture before, four hundred years later, in a play, and so I knew what it
meant. It was very old, and I think it came from Europe. It was a sign to ward
off the evil eye.
Clearly at least one
person in this company thought I might be a witch.
Later in the morning,
the soldiers came. They weren't very obtrusive, and they weren't your basic
ordinary foot soldiers; they were quiet, sharp-eyed men, with gleaming armor
under their expensive cloaks, and they went through every smallest closet and
cranny of the Globe Theatre. I don't know what they were looking for; I don't
know whether people made bombs in those days, though even if they did, I'm sure
they couldn't have set them off by detonator, or remote control. At any rate
the soldiers didn't seem to find anything. We kept running into them around
corners, but they paid us no attention; they just went about their business and
so did we, and after about an hour we started taking them for granted as a
necessary nuisance.
By now everyone in the
company knew that Her Majesty the Queen might be sitting up in one of the
gallery rooms at this performance, behind a curtain—and everyone in the
company, even those who had played several times at Court, was shaking with
nervousness. They had lots of reasons, of course, but I think a very large one
was the fact that they all loved their new Globe Theatre, and were proud of
it—and they wanted to do it credit. It was almost as if they wanted their theater
to be proud of them.
Around noon, Richard
Burbage had me pull off my shirt, and stood me in front of him in the corner of
the tiring-house where he kept his paints. Then he began putting on my body
makeup for Puck. Although he was an actor—which was no surprise, since his
father had been England's first real theater manager—he was also a really good
painter, and whenever one of the Lord Chamberlain's Men needed a special
makeup, he would beg Burbage to do it. I didn't have to beg; he was determined
to turn me into an unearthly, magical, and faintly scary spirit. After about
fifteen minutes my face, neck, arms, and upper body were all a spooky green,
and he was about to start on the elaborate details.
"Stand still,
boy!" He was starting a long straight line from neck to wrist, all the way
down my arm. It was the stem from which many intertwining leaves would grow and
curl.
"I'm sorry. It
tickles."
"I'll tickle thee
with my boot if tha moves again Joseph, where are his hose?"
"Safe and out of
harm's way until th'art done," said the tireman cautiously. He was always
very nervous of Master Burbage's wet paint when valuable costumes were nearby
"Well, fetch them
out, fool! I have to match the color. Nobody will mar them—thou may'st hold
them in thy hand all the while." Burbage paused, and gave the tireman the
eye-crinkling smile that always made people forgive him for yelling at them. It
reminded me of Arby. "And th'art a good fellow for guarding company
property so well."
The tireman snorted,
but mildly, and went to get my tights. Will Shakespeare came from behind me,
pulled up a stool and sat down to watch Burbage paint. Gladness at seeing him
sent a sudden warmth into my throat and my chest; a wonderful feeling, but
oddly like pain.
The brush flickered,
and leaves sprouted swiftly around my wrist, and up my forearm. "Thy turn
next, Will," Burbage said. "How does our house?"
"There is a line
down the street fifty yards long."
"Even without
them knowing. It is a good draw, thy Dream."
"And will be very
beautiful, this time," Shakespeare said.
Burbage looked
pleased, and drew a tendril around
my right ear, with his
tongue curled carefully over his upper lip. I knew he had taken great care with
new designs for this production, and spent lavishly on some new costumes, which
most of us had not yet seen.
From outside, the
noise of the crowd began to drift in: muffled shouts and laughter, as tumblers,
jugglers and fire-eaters struggled for the attention of the waiting audience in
the street. You couldn't buy tickets in advance at theaters then; you had to
wait in line, pay your penny admission at the door to the "gatherer,"
and run to get a good place in the yard. Or, alternatively, you went to the
staircase, paid another penny to another gatherer, and scurried up narrow
stairs and along rows of narrow benches to get a good place in one of the
galleries. There you would have a good view of the play from a hard wooden
bench, which would be made slightly more comfortable by a pillow if you'd
brought one with you, or paid yet another penny to rent one.
It all sounds cheap, 1
guess, a penny here, a penny there, but it wasn't cheap then—I'd listened to
Mistress Fawcett complaining about prices and wages. For a penny you could buy
a pound of cheese, or half a pound of butter; six pints of beer, or a big
two-pound loaf of bread. But a workman like a carpenter or a mason only earned
about thirty pence a week—so I guess groundlings didn't go to the theater too
often. Mind you, that didn't stop them from buying munchies from the sellers
who wandered about the theater with baskets and trays. Just the way you might
buy popcorn or soda at the movies, they'd buy apples, or bags of nuts, bottles
of beer or ginger ale. Master Shakespeare once said that he knew he'd written a
really good scene if it caught the groundlings' attention long enough to stop
them cracking nuts.
"Turn round,
Nat," said Master Burbage, and he started painting long strands of
flowering vines across my back. At least, that's what they told me later; all I
could feel was the small traveling chill of the brush and the wet paint.
"Much more of
this, and the boy's fingertips will burst into bloom," Will Shakespeare
said.
"That is my
aim," said Burbage. "I plan for clusters of dog rose. Go away for ten
minutes, Will, go study thy lines. Write the stage-keepers some birdsong."
Shakespeare laughed,
but he did cast an anxious eye about for the stage-keepers. These were the
extra men, the dailies, like the two I'd seen carrying canvas; whenever there
were no actors to spare, they had to move props, carry furniture, help to
create special effects. They would be busy backstage making the forest magical
in A Midsummer Night's Dream: blowing a little pipe into a bowl
of water to make the sounds of birdsong; burning rope in a metal pot, to make
smoke that could be puffed with a bellows across the stage, for romantic mist
or bewildering fog. The groundlings were very fond of special effects. They
particularly liked disasters, and explosions. They'd have loved video games.
The tiring-house was
getting more crowded now, as the day wore on toward afternoon. All the boys but
me were playing women in this play, and extra tiremen were on duty, carrying in
the long elaborate dresses from back rooms, painting faces with the white
cheeks and black-rimmed eyes that were standard for a stage female. The few
doors and windows stood wide open, to let in air; it was a warm day, and the
enclosed space was growing hot and stuffy. Flies buzzed everywhere, slow and
sleepy.
Out in the theater it
was hot too; the sun stood high in the sky, beating down through the open
center of the roof. For a while it would blaze into the faces of half the
audience, and the ladies who had brought fans would have to choose whether to
fan themselves, or to hold up the fan as an eyeshade against the bright light.
The drink sellers would do a roaring trade.
Richard Burbage
finished his painting and handed me into the care of the tireman, Joseph, to
keep me from smudging his beautiful paint before it dried. Then it was Will
Shakespeare's turn to pull off his shirt and stand still to be made magical.
Joseph, a small brown
man with a completely bald head, drew me into a corner free of traffic and
poured me into my snakey green tights. He showed me myself in a rather dim,
distorted mirror, and even that blurry reflection was phenomenal: I saw a
glimmering green woodland sprite, the perfect image for the lines I would
speak. The ears were pointed, the eyebrows slanted up, the eyes were big and
dark like the eyes of a fawn. I wasn't me anymore, nor even Nathan Field. I was
Puck. Shakespeare's Puck.
"Now up aloft
with thee, out of the way, until we begin," Joseph said. He pushed me
toward the ladder that led to the "heavens," the room behind the
stage gallery where the musicians would sit, and I climbed up.
Out in the theater the
noise level began to rise, as the audience came in. Peeking through the door
that led to the gallery, I could see the benches and yard filling with sturdy
shopkeepers and craftsmen and their smiling beribboned wives, apprentices,
students and even a few children. The spaces filled up, all three thousand of
them, so far as 1 could tell, and the noise of all their different voices grew
and grew.
I stood gazing, with
the noise thrumming through my head, and didn't hear Will Shakespeare come up
the stairs behind me.
"Listen to
it," he said in my ear, his hands resting lightly on my painted shoulders.
"All those voices which become one—the voice of that single great animal,
the audience. The Leviathan. A very large and frightening animal—which we shall
tame."
I glanced up over my
shoulder at his face. His eyes were gleaming, out of the dark makeup that was
just as fantastic and unearthly as my own, and he was smiling. This was his
world, this was what he did and who he was, and I knew exactly how he was
feeling, because the same was true for me. 1 knew too that I didn't need to say
so. I smiled back at him.
Suddenly there was a
sharper eruption of noise, out in the audience, and I peeked through the
part-open door again. I saw a flurry of movement down in the yard, and heard
voices raised: "Thief! Stop, thief!" A man was diving through the
crowd, weaving, dodging, but too many hands reached out for him, and soon he
was struggling in the arms of two particularly large groundlings. I saw one of
them wrench a leather purse away from him. He was a small, thin man, not much
more than a boy.
"Cutpurse,"
said Shakespeare. He sighed, and turned away.
People who worked hard
for their pence had no sym- pathy for cutpurses, the Elizabethan equivalent of
pick* pockets, who carried a sharp little knife to cut through the leather
thong that attached a money pouch to a belt. A quick jostle in the crowd, and a
purse was gone, and with it half a week's earnings, or more.
The cutpurse was being
hustled, kicking and wriggling, toward the stage. One of his captors had gotten
some rope from somewhere, perhaps from one of the gatherers who were used to
this kind of thing, and he and some others hauled the boy up onto the stage and
tied him to one of the big front stage pillars. There he stood, wretched and
exposed, and people in the audience threw apple cores and nutshells at him. The
good shots hit him in the face. They were big on popular justice, in this
century. I'd found out that some crimes were punished by putting people to sit
or stand all day in the stocks, with | legs or head and hands fastened into a
wooden frame, so that anyone who chose could pelt them with rotten vegetables,
or dirt, or stones. At the worst, the stones could kill them. I was glad there
were no stones handy in the | Globe Theatre.
But the boy was in
danger all the same. The groundlings at the theater could be a rough lot; they
were, after all, the same men and women who loved to watch bulls and bears
chained to a pole and attacked by dogs. (And public hangings and beheadings
too; Roper was itching to get me to one of those.) By two in the afternoon, the
time of the plays, there were always some of them who were drunk. One of these
scrambled up onto the stage now: a chunky, short-haired man with a beer belly,
and a shirt open halfway down his hairy chest. You could tell he wasn't sober
straightaway; he got one leg over the edge of the stage and then fell off, so
that the crowd shouted with mocking laughter. But he tried again, and made it;
and then he pulled out a dagger and staggered over to the pillar, and the
captive boy.
I looked around
hastily for Will Shakespeare, but he was gone.
"A pox on all
cutpurshes!" shouted the drunk, waving the dagger. Some of the crowd
cheered, but others yelled at him to get down. The boy stared at him,
terrified, whimpering, straining against the ropes.
The drunk stood in
front of him, grinning. He slapped one hand against the pillar above the boy's
head, to steady himself, and with the other he put the tip of his dagger
against his neck. The boy let out a high gasp of fear. A tiny trickle of blood
ran down from the sharp point.
"Wha' shall we do
wi' him?" bellowed the drunk to the crowd. They shouted back at him, but
in the confusion you couldn't make out any one shout from another. The boy was
cringing back against the pillar, wide-eyed, and I suddenly noticed a puddle of
water around his shoes; out of sheer stark terror, he had wet himself.
I wouldn't like to
guess whether or not the drunk would have pushed his dagger in; I thought he
might, and my heart was hammering out of fear for the boy. But at the last
minute one of the stage entry doors swung open and out ran two brawny
stage-keepers, with Richard Burbage striding behind them in an awesome scarlet
cloak. The crowd cheered, in surprise and delight; Burbage was one of their
favorites. (The cloak was a cardinal's robe that he had grabbed from a costume
rack moments before, I found out later; he wanted to cover his costume as
Bottom, which was far from dignified.)
The stage-keepers
grabbed the startled drunk, and Burbage snatched his dagger from him. With one
great flourishing sweep, he cut the boy's ropes.
"Gentles!"
he boomed out. "Pray you, be merciful— this stinking little villain has had
his punishment!" He pushed the boy off the stage with his foot, and the
groundlings let him scuttle out of the yard, though not without the occasional
kick on the way. Master Burbage was still booming, holding their attention.
"In one moment only," he cried, "this little drama shall be
eclipsed by one far greater—good people, we bring you our play!"
He swept them an
elaborate bow, and they roared their affectionate approval. With great dignity
Burbage strode off, swinging his red cloak around him, and stage-keepers ran on
with mops and brooms to clean the stage, and sweep up the nutshells and apple
cores.
As I turned to hurry
down to the stage, past the trumpeter who was approaching the gallery to play
his opening fanfare, I saw a twitch of curtains in the Gentlemen's Room that
overlooked the right-hand side of the stage, and two or three masked faces in
the shadows. Unnoticed, with no fuss or danger, under cover of the little drama
of the cutpurse, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth I had arrived •to watch our play.
I shall
never have a day like that again. After the trumpeter's fanfare, sounding out
from the top gallery and sending the doves whirling off the roof, I remember
very little until my first entrance. I was so nervous, hopping from foot to foot
at the back of the tiring-house, that I heard scarcely a word of the first long
scene between Duke Theseus and Hippolyta, old man Egeus and the four lovers. I
came to my senses only when Master Burbage, as Bottom the Weaver, went bounding
onstage with his five fellow mechanicals—and Roper, all white face and red lips
as Hermia, came scooting off, holding up his skirts, skidding to a halt at the
tiremen's table.
There was a muffled
roar from the theater as the audience greeted Burbage again, and Joseph the
tireman grabbed Roper and began unbuttoning his dress. Underneath, he wore the
floating, gauzy costume of the Fairy: not the kind of pretty-pretty stuff you
might expect, but a bizarre, sexless garment that made him an odd little
creature—as odd as my Puck. I hoped he knew his words. He and I had to play my
first scene together, and because he had been needed for the lovers'
rehearsals, we had only gone through it once.
Joseph turned Roper
around and attached a pair of starched gauze wings to his shoulder blades.
Roper had complained about these when the costumes were tried on; they would
get in the way of his tumbling, he said. But Master Burbage had refused to
listen to him.
"Th'art playing a
fairy, boy, not a tumbler," he said. "Fairies have wings."
I was hopping from
foot to foot still; I didn't know I was doing it. A pair of strong hands took
me by the shoulders and pressed down, so that I stopped; then they propelled me
across the dim-lit room to the entrance stage right.
It was Will
Shakespeare, wonderfully demonic in his makeup as Oberon. He said, whispering,
"Wait till they come off, then run on. And speak loud."
I stared up at him,
frozen, as Burbage and the rest came galumphing past us, while the audience
laughed and clapped. He grinned at me, and suddenly everything was all right,
and I ran onstage into that marvelous terrifying bright space ringed by faces.
I somersaulted toward Roper, running from the other side to meet me.
"How now,
spirit.' Whither wander you?"
"Over hill, over
dale Thorough bush, thorough briar. ..."
I hoped Will
Shakespeare wouldn't think I was overdoing the somersaults, but the audience
liked them, and Roper and I bounced through our scene, both of us ferociously
projecting, until Oberon and Titania stalked on, mad at each other about who
should own the servant boy. Shakespeare looked magnificent and somehow taller
in his exotic pants and cloak, and as Titania, Thomas was magical,
unrecognizable. Master Burbage had given him an amazing multicolored costume
that shimmered like a waterfall, quite disguising his pudginess, and his high
strong voice rang out like a clarinet.
I don't think they had
clarinets, then. Well, Thomas's voice got there first. When that voice broke he
would obviously be a clown, because he had that natural comic talent—like the
company's new actor Robert Armin, who was playing Flute the Bellows-mender. But
today, still a boy, Thomas was beautiful and oddly chilling as the fairy queen.
I told him so afterward, and he crowed like a cock and punched me in the stomach.
As for Will
Shakespeare, he was King of Fairyland and of the whole world, as far as I was
concerned. He wasn't a great actor; he didn't have that indescribable special
gift that Richard Burbage had, that could in an instant fill a theater with roars
of laughter, or with prickling cold silence. But as Oberon he had an eerie
authority that made me, as Puck, totally his devoted servant. When he sent me
offstage to look for the magic herb that he would squeeze on Titania's eyes, it
was my own delight—me, Nat Field—that put spring into my cartwheeling exit.
"I'll put a
girdle round about the earth In forty minutes—"
And I'd arranged to
have the door held open for my hurtling arms and legs, not by Roper, in spite
of his repentance, but by Joseph the tireman, who was totally reliable because
of his concern for my spectacular green tights.
On we went, through
Shakespeare's cheerful chain of misunderstanding and accident, to the scene in
which Lysander and Hermia, on their happy way to elope together, lie down to
sleep in the wood outside Athens. But it's the same wood in which Puck, sent by
Oberon, is hunting for Hermia's admirer Demetrius and his scorned girlfriend
Helena.
Instructed by Oberon
to make Demetrius fall in love with Helena, I came prowling across the front of
the stage, carrying the magic flower.
"Through the
forest have 1 gone But Athenians found I none On whose eye 1 might approve This
flow'r's force in stirring
love."
Then I spotted
Lysander.
"Night and
silence—who is here? Weeds of Athens he doth wear; This is he, my master
said, Despised the Athenian maid—"
And I was tiptoeing
toward Lysander, flower in hand,
when suddenly a
piercing voice rang out from the
groundlings' yard
below me, a girl's voice, full of concern.
"No, no, that's
not he—that be the wrong one!"
I stopped, frozen.
There was a rumble of laughter from
the audience, and a
few blurry drunken shouts, and if I'd
been reacting as
myself, or perhaps if I'd been in my own
world and time, I
would have been thrown, and spoiled the
scene. But I was
altogether in Will Shakespeare's time and dream, I was his Puck, and so I
reacted as his Puck.
I paused, listening,
and cocked my head first to one side and then to the other, as if to say: Did
I hear something?
The girl called again,
urgently—I could see her out of the corner of my eye, a round-faced pretty girl
staring up at me, completely caught up in the play—"No, Puck, prithee—he
is the wrong man!"
I listened puzzled
again to the air, head cocked, and there was a ripple of laughter, different
laughter this time, and then I shook my head firmly—No, of course, I didn't
hear anything, I'm dreaming it—and I squeezed the juice on Lysander's eyes.
They really laughed then, a laugh made out of affection for the girl and
amusement at me, and they applauded when I ran off.
Nick Tooley,
white-painted and robed as Helena, ran onstage past me, to waken Lysander and
further screw things up. And Will Shakespeare, who had been watching from the
tiring-house door, caught me by the arm as I whirled past him—and then let go
hastily, for fear of smudging Burbage's paint. He was smiling. He said,
"Th'art a true actor, sprite."
I grinned at him, half
out of breath. "Thank you."
He looked me in the
eye for one more moment, and it was bright but it was serious. "Promise me
never to stop."
"I promise,"
I said. "I promise."
And I never shall
stop.
Then the mechanicals
were milling around us, peering at the "plot" for their cue, hissing
at the book-keeper to check their lines, and it was time for the scene where
they are rehearsing their terrible little play in the wood, and
Puck scares them all
to death by changing the head on Bottom's shoulders to the head of an ass.
"Bless thee, Bottom, bless thee—thou
art translated.'"
Quince says that—big
laugh line—before he rushes away after the others.
Master Burbage had a
terrific ass's head. The oldest tireman, Luke, was a real whiz at special
effects; put him in the twentieth century with computers to play with and he'd
have made a lot of money in Hollywood. The head's eyes rolled wildly, on
command, and the ears went up and down and sideways. The groundlings loved it.
They cheered and shrieked like little children.
The theater was full
of shouts and laughter, the play was dancing along. By the time I reached
Puck's speech telling Oberon what has happened to Titania, I was high with
delight and excitement. There we were, the two of us, at the heart of this
happy gathering of three thousand people, at the heart of this fantastical
play: together in the center of the stage, Will Shakespeare and me.
"My mistress with
a monster is in love—"
Puck is on a high too,
in that scene, really full of himself—until Demetrius comes on, pursuing
Hermia, and Oberon says, "Stand close, this is the same Athenian."
Puck stops still.
Uh-oh. He may be in trouble. "This is the woman, but not this the man. ..."
And when Oberon finds
out the mistake—
"What hast thou
done?" Master Shakespeare thundered
at me, and for a
moment it was terrifying to be attacked by that magnificent unearthly presence.
But I remembered something he had said to me in rehearsal: "Puck is all
mischief," he had said. "He loves jokes, and causing trouble— he has
no heart. Don't let him feel, like you or me."
So I let the thunder
bounce off me, and was wary of Oberon, but not frightened. I was learning
things at the back of my head, then, that I had no idea I was learning. Puck
danced about, Puck didn't give a darn about real human emotions.
"Lord, what fools these mortals be!"
Puck and Oberon,
Oberon and Puck: together we watched and encouraged the lovers' jangling
confusions, and Queen Titania's embarrassing love for an ass-headed clod, and
then together, pulling the audience with us, we sorted everything out. It was
wonderful, playing those scenes in such a theater, like telling a long involved
family joke: all around us were friendly faces, intent, enjoying, shouting
comments. Yes, they cracked nuts too, and popped bottles of ale open, and
chomped on apples, but they came right along with us, all the way to the
fairies' dance—Will Shakespeare stepping stately and elegant with Thomas— when
Titania and Oberon come together again.
And that was our exit
until the end of the play, and we had to slip out through one of the
tiring-house exits to make way for the imposing entrance of Duke Theseus and
Hippolyta—which, though I didn't know it at the time, was the biggest gamble
Burbage and Shakespeare had ever taken in their lives.
I saw them in the
tiring-house, Theseus and Hippolyta, poised to go on, and the sight stopped me
where I stood. Will Shakespeare was already motionless, watching, as John
Heminges, who was Duke Theseus, swept toward the stage in a splendid purple
velvet robe and held out his arm to Sam, the husky-voiced senior apprentice who
was playing Hippolyta.
It was Sam who was the
astounding sight. He wore a gleaming, wide-skirted dress of white satin,
embroidered with hundreds of little pearls, and a great winglike embroidered
collar rose like a halo behind his head. Above his white-painted, red-lipped
face was an elaborate wig of bright red curls; he was the exact image of a
portrait of Queen Elizabeth I that I'd seen reproduced on a poster at the new
Globe Theatre in my own time.
And that, I realized,
was exactly what Burbage and Shakespeare intended him to be. There was even the
gold circlet of a crown amongst the red curls.
Shakespeare said
softly, "Gloriana."
I could see Sam's hand
shaking as he opened his fan. He straightened his back, and with his head proud
and high, he swept out into the theater on Heminges's arm. The audience gave a
gasp, and voices whispered to and fro, sibilant, muttering. "The Queen . .
. She's like the Queen ..."
Shakespeare was
standing very still, listening.
And then they broke
into cheers. Spontaneously, all of them, all at once, Perhaps it began as
applause for the costume, for the audacity of the portrait, but it swelled at
once into an impulsive upsurge of emotion. Those in the galleries, who had been
sitting down, jumped to their feet, applauding; the groundlings shouted,
"God Save the Queen!" and threw up their hats. They were all cheering
their Queen with as much enthusiasm as if she'd been there in person to hear
them.
And she was, of
course, though none of them knew that. I looked at the curtain masking the
Gentlemen's Room, and half expected to see it flung aside by a jeweled royal
hand, but there wasn't a flicker of movement.
Instead, out on the
stage, Sam in his queenly costume swept down in a deep curtsy to the entire
theater, his hand still resting on Theseus's arm. And then their scene began,
Gloriana—the Queen—became Hippolyta, and the audience quieted down.
Beside me, Will
Shakespeare let out a long, low sigh of relief.
The book-keeper said
softly, "Was tha feared? Really?"
"I feared the
serpent's tongue. If they had hissed her, Burbage and I would be headed for the
Tower. Headed and headless, like as not."
"They love
her," said the book-keeper simply.
"They loved
Essex, the other night."
"But this goes
deeper."
The lovers came
sailing past us and onto the stage, in their proper couples now.
Thomas was close by
us, his eyes dark pools in the white Titania makeup. He said to Shakespeare,
"You knew they'd not hiss her. You always know what they will do,
always."
"I throw the
dice, Tom," Will Shakespeare said. "I throw the dice."
And pretty soon after
that, Bottom and his fellow mechanicals were on, to perform their play before
the court. It's the funniest and best part of A Midsummer Night's Dream, that
play—"the most lamentable comedy, and most cruel death, of Pyramus and
Thisbe"—and we were all unashamedly crowded near the exit doors, peeking
through to watch it. Master Burbage stumped and stamped about as
Bottom/Pyramus, with ridiculous stiff gestures and roaring declamation.
"O grim-look'd night! O night with hue
so black! O night, which ever art when day is not! O night, O night, alack
alack alack—"
Shakespeare gave a
little soft snort of laughter. "Ned Alleyn to the life," he said.
Guiltily, Thomas
giggled. I whispered to him, "Ned who?"
Thomas blinked at me.
"Edward Alleyn, of the Admiral's Men. Where do you live, Nat?
Master Burbage's great rival, until he retired—old Fustian Tamburlaine
Alleyn."
"Oh yes, of
course," 1 said hastily—and then luckily the theater exploded into
laughter at Robert Armin's entrance in his crudely female costume as Thisbe.
The
play-within-the-play rollicked its way through to the staggering,
throat-clutching death of the principals. Then there was a comical little
clod-hopping dance called a bergomask, danced by two of the actors while
another two played—badly—the tabor and drums; then, offstage, a stage-keeper
tolled the strokes of midnight on a bell. Theseus broke up the evening, and I
heard him speak my cue:
"Sweet friends, to bed. A fortnight hold we
this solemnity In nightly revels and new jollity."
And off they went and
onto the empty stage I stepped, on tiptoe, in my glimmering green tights and my
leafy-patterned body, with a broom in my hands, sweeping. I looked out at the
audience.
"Now the hungry lion roars
And the wolf behowls the moon. ..."
I could see the faces,
all around me, intent now. They'd had done with laughing, they were caught in
the last lingering magic of Shakespeare's dream. And so was I. The musicians up
in the stage gallery played soft haunting music, a thin white mist crept over
the stage from the two entrances, and it all affected me as much as it did the
audience. I forgot the frantic stage-keepers who would be puffing away with
their bellows at the smoke buckets in the tiring-house. I spoke my speech to
the audience, not a cheery speech, telling them this was night now, when out in
the dark world, graves gaped open and spirits roved free—and I felt suddenly
that a lot of the upturned faces below me in the yard, mouths half open,
staring, really believed me. I half believed myself. But here, I told them—
"not a mouse
Shall disturb this hallow'd house. I am sent
with broom before To sweep the dust behind the door."
I turned, to shift
their attention to Oberon and Titania moving slowly in with their band of small
ethereal fairies, all now with rings of little lighted candles around their
heads,
to keep watch over the
house while its humans slept.
At the back of the
stage, Harry and Alex moved unobtrusively in, dressed in white, with three
younger boys brought in for the sake of their voices. And I joined them as the
whole magical group obeyed Oberon's instruction to dance and sing "and
bless this place." I couldn't tell you now the tune or words of the song
we sang, but it was slow and soft, rather like a lullaby. I'd know it if I
heard it again, though I never have.
When we had woven our
way about the stage, and the song was done, a single recorder played softly on
in the background under Will Shakespeare's last speech. He stood right in the
center of the stage, holding a silver bowl of water, and each fairy came past
him and dipped a hand ceremonially into the water as he spoke.
"With this field-dew consecrate
Every fairy take his gait
And each several chamber bless
Through this palace with sweet peace;
And the owner of it blest
Ever shall in safety rest."
Very subtly, as he
said those last two lines, he glanced up at the curtained Gentlemen's Room, so
that although nobody else would know he was giving his words to the Queen as a
blessing, the Queen herself would know. I was so caught in admiration of the
simple directness of it that I almost forgot the next two lines were his last,
and my cue.
"Trip away; make no stay; Meet me all by
break of day."
One by one they
tiptoed gracefully away, dividing to go through the two doors. And there I was,
left alone on the stage, holding a single candle that at the last moment I had
picked like a flower from the headdress of the final departing fairy. Now it
was just Puck and the audience, Puck speaking out to each of the three thousand
faces all around him, and to the one great creature made out of those three
thousand; Puck speaking in the voice of his author.
As Will Shakespeare
had told me to do, I said my lines so firmly and clearly that I was almost
shouting. I held up my candle, facing the audience on my left, and moved
gradually around as I spoke, so that just for a moment every one of them would
feel I was looking at him, or her.
"If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended.
That you have but slumber'd here
While these visions did appear. And this weak
and idle theme, No more yielding than a dream, Gentles, do not reprehend: If
you pardon, we will mend. And, as I am an honest Puck, If we have unearned luck
Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue, We will make amends ere long; Else the Puck a
liar call."
They were dead quiet,
listening. With a quick breath, I blew out my candle, and stretched my arms
wide to the whole audience.
"So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends."
For a second I stayed
there motionless, until they started to clap and shout, and then I dropped the
dead candle and threw myself into one big beautiful cartwheel upstage center,
as the company all came running out of the side doors and downstage, to take
their bows. Most plays ended with a final dance, but we'd already done ours.
Will Shakespeare
reached out as he passed and grabbed my hand, holding it hard, pulling me with
him, and we bowed together amongst the rest as the audience cheered and
clapped. And that moment above all is what makes me say I shall never have a
day like that again.
The musicians struck
up cheerful music from the stage gallery, and the audience was still applauding
as we all ran out offstage, laughing, thumping each other on the back. There
seemed to be no thought of separate star calls, perhaps because there is no one
star part in this play. In the tiring-house Master Burbage held up a hand,
stood there a moment amongst us, listening, to gauge how long the noise might
go on—then grinned and shouted, "Once more!" And back we went, to
hear them roar their enthusiasm again. And again.
That third time, when
we came back, six large soldiers were standing grouped in the tiring-house,
armed and armored and very awesome. With them was the young lord who had
visited Will Shakespeare's house two days before. He wore a black velvet
doublet and a black silk cloak, and he had pearls in his ears.
He took Shakespeare's
arm. "Will—this must be very fast. Her Majesty wishes to see you and
Master Burbage. Now, before she leaves." He glanced down at me, and
pointed his finger. "And the boy too."
There was no time to
be nervous. Before you could blink, the soldiers were around us, and we were
moving through the crowded tiring-house and out to the nearest stairway,
leading up to the Gentlemen's Room. More soldiers stood at every corner, out
there; all the corridors and staircases of that part of the theater were cut
off. We were an odd sight amongst all the armored breastplates, Richard Burbage
in Bottom's ribboned workman's clothes, and Will Shakespeare and I in our
glimmer and glitter and fantasy paint.
"Make way!"
called the soldier in front of us. "Make way!"
The nameless lord in
his black velvet was close beside us as we hurried along. I heard him say close
to Burbage's ear, "A master stroke, the Gloriana costume—a master stroke,
my dear. Whose inspired idea might that have been?"
Burbage said blandly,
"Few things in the theater are one man's idea, my lord."
"As in
politics—or at least one should make it seem so." He gave a little
snuffling chuckle. "Well, it was a lovely gamble, my dear, and your luck
was in. It gave the lady great pleasure."
And then we were
there, in the entrance to the crowded little gallery, the air smelling more of
perfume than of the garlicky, fusty body smell of the rest of the theater. It
was lit by lanterns, because the curtains were still drawn across the front,
keeping the gallery from the sight of the groundlings and other more prosperous
folk still milling about in the yard below. Past the bending backs of my
masters, as they bowed low, I saw the central seated figure, and could hardly
take my eyes off her from that moment.
Queen Elizabeth I. She
was an old lady. I had expected her to be tall and grand and beautiful, like
Sam in his Gloriana costume, but she was not. Only the bright auburn curls of
the wig were the same. Underneath it was a wrinkled white face that had lived a
long time, with no eyebrows but thin, painted, curved lines, and bright, black
eyes like beads, moving constantly, very alert. When she smiled at Burbage and
Shakespeare—as she did at once, holding out her hand for them to kiss—she
showed badly discolored teeth that would have given my dentist fits.
"Thank you for
your Dream, gentlemen," she said. "It is a favorite of mine,
as you know."
Will Shakespeare said,
"Your Majesty is very kind." The antennae on his Oberon head were
quivering a little, and I longed to pull them off. They belonged on the stage,
not here.
"A gentle play, a
merry play," said the Queen, who was sitting back unfazed by antennae,
makeup or anything else. "Carrying no political historical baggage. You
are a clever fellow, Will Shakespeare, but I have had my fill of the history of
my forebears."
Shakespeare said
meekly, "The audiences do love a history, Your Majesty."
"I hope you are
not writing another."
Burbage said, "A
Roman history only, Your Majesty. We have just played Will's tragedy of Julius
Caesar."
Elizabeth waved a long
finger at them. On several fingers of each hand, she wore enormous jeweled
rings. "Enough of the downfall of great leaders, Master Shakespeare.
Julius Caesar, and all those senators with bloody hands—it is almost as painful
as Richard II giving away his crown."
I couldn't see Will
Shakespeare's face, because I was behind him, but his shoulders were beginning
to droop. "I beg Your Majesty's forgiveness," he said, rather
muffled.
The Queen flashed her
terrible teeth at him, and the black eyes twinkled. For an old lady, she had an
amazingly flirty way of talking. "Never mind. Thy Dream was
excellent, and so was thine Oberon." Her gaze flicked over to Master
Burbage, standing there stiff and nervous in his leather jerkin with silly
little ribbons crossing it. "Dick Burbage, I am pleased to have seen your
new theater. The audience was as much an entertainment as the play."
"We are honored
by Your Majesty's gracious presence," Burbage said. Everyone seemed to use
long stiff words by instinct when they talked to the Queen, as if she wasn't a
real person.
"Bottom the
Weaver was wonderful tragical-comical. Well done. It was all well done."
She looked over his shoulder. "And where is the green boy?"
Some strong hand in my
back pushed me forward to stand between Shakespeare and Burbage, and I bowed so
low that my forehead nearly touched my shins.
"Th'art a pretty
sight, Puck," said the Queen amiably as I came up, "and a good little
player. With a way of speaking that I cannot place—where dost thou come
from?"
I stammered out,
"St. Paul's School, Your Majesty."
"Wast born there?"
said the Queen, and she made her eyes so comically wide that I couldn't help
grinning.
"No, ma'am. I was
born in Falmouth." And so I was. It's a little town in Kentucky, where my
parents lived at the time.
"A West
Countryman!" said the Queen. "Like my good old pirate Sir Francis
Drake." Those beady black eyes peered at me thoughtfully, scarily
intelligent. "And thou hast a particularity, a strangeness—wouldst like to
be a page at Court, little Puck?"
I said without
thinking, appalled, "I am an actor, Your Majesty!" And I guess it
came out sounding ridiculous, because they all laughed, though it didn't seem
ridiculous to me, just true.
The Queen was smiling.
She wore around her neck a thick pleated white ruff, which would have made her
head look tiny if it hadn't been for the tall red wig above it. She said to the
room in general, "It is a lucky man whose ambition does not vault over his
talent."
Then suddenly she had
had enough of us. She looked over my head at someone behind me. "Sir
Robert?"
I turned to see. An odd,
runty little man was standing there, with his head slightly crooked on his
neck. But he wore a green satin cloak with a fur collar, and a plumed hat, and
he was clearly someone important.
"Your barge
awaits, Your Majesty, and the guard is thick-lined to the dock. I shall be glad
to see Your Majesty safely homeward bound."
They all started
fussing about the Queen as she stood up, and two brightly gowned
ladies-in-waiting draped an enormous hooded cape over her shoulders. "You
are a fidgety old lady, Cecil," she said irritably, "far more so than
I. Did you not hear them cheer their Queen? Or at any rate a wicked replication
of their Queen." She patted Master Burbage's arm flirtatiously as she came
past him, and she smiled at Master Shakespeare. "The hair a little too
red, masters," she said. "A little too red."
Then she was passing
me on her way out of the narrow gallery, so that I caught a whiff of perfume,
and a hint of a much nastier smell, perhaps from those teeth. "Sweet
Puck," she said, "tell thy fellow that the Queen thought him a pretty
boy too."
I bowed very low
again, and by the time I straightened up, she was gone.
I said to Sam, back in
the noisy, hysterical, paint-smelling tiring-house, "She said, Tell thy
fellow that the Queen thought him a pretty boy.'"
Sam was still caught
under his long skirt, which hung from his shoulders from straps like
suspenders. Joseph the tireman was carefully peeling off his pearl-encrusted
bodice. "Stand still, boy!" he said.
Sam's face was a study
in relief and surprise, overlaid by a big pleased grin. "She said that,
truly? She wasn't angry?"
Dick Burbage said,
swigging from a goblet of wine as he elbowed his way past us, "She said
thy hair was too red. Mark that, Joseph."
Joseph paused, looking
stricken. "The Queen thought the wig too red?"
"A little too
red," I said. "And she may have been joking."
"No joke,"
said Master Burbage, shaking his head with wicked solemnity. "She never
jokes about wigs." He took another pull at the goblet, and moved on to
join the milling, celebrating company.
Sam said, "A
pretty boy?"
Joseph was looking
disapprovingly after Master Burbage. He yelled at his vanishing back, "No
wine in the tiring-house!"
Sam said again,
happily, "A pretty boy. The Queen!"
Most of the
Chamberlain's Men ended up in the tavern that evening, boys and all. We ate
roasted meat and vegetables, and a sticky tart with apples and plums in it, all
in the uninhibited greasy way they had of using nothing but fingers and knives.
Still, there was a big bowl of water to rinse your fingers, and a napkin to
wipe them on. The meat was good; it was mutton, which is like lamb only
tougher, and something called coney, which I liked a lot. It was only several
months later that I found out a coney is a rabbit.
This was a feast of celebration,
because the Master of the Revels, who was in charge of all the Queen's
entertainment at Court, had promised the company a performance at the Queen's
palace in Greenwich in a month's time. That meant a handsome amount of money,
as well as a great deal of prestige. It was to make up for our Dream, which
carried no prestige because the Queen had been there in secret, and no royal
money either, because it had been the Queen's whim not to command us to take
our play to her, but to come herself to our commercial theater.
Roper said, "It
is a great matter, going to Greenwich, it starts before sunup that day. All the
costumes and properties have to be loaded into boats, and taken up to the
palace by water." He took a swig of ale, and spluttered noisily with
laughter as he suddenly remembered something. "Last time, Thomas fell in
the river, and lost his boots."
"That was no
joke," Thomas said with feeling. "I got a terrible beating."
Master Burbage had
taken over a whole room at the tavern, with a big long table, and we boys were
at one end, together. We were only apprentices, after all, to be tolerated but
not necessarily heard. It was a musty room, full of good smells and bad. The
rushes that were spread everywhere on indoor floors were perhaps changed more
often in a tavern than in an ordinary house, because more bits of food and muck
fell on them, but even so they were pretty dirty on an average day. Quite often
you'd find a mouse or a rat scavenging through them.
As for the people who
walked on the floors, I'd begun to realize that hardly anyone in this century
except the rich ever took a bath. The more private parts of your body were
washed only if you went swimming, in sea or river or lake, or if you
deliberately removed all your clothes and washed yourself all over from a basin
of water— something that didn't seem to happen often. It no longer bothered me
as much as it had in the beginning; maybe I was getting used to body smells,
including my own.
I was getting used to
a lot of things. I looked down the long table at Will Shakespeare, who was
laughing, raising his mug to John Heminges—and suddenly a wave of panic hit me,
at the thought of the things that were about to change. I had a very perilous
time ahead of me, in which I could no longer be mistaken for the real
Elizabethan Nat Field.
Why was all this happening to me?
Harry splashed some
more ale into my mug from the big pewter pitcher. "Why the long face, Nat?
Tha met the Queen today!"
I said, truthfully,
"I don't want to go back to St. Paul's."
Roper said,
"There was a boy from St. Paul's came round to see thee, while tha wast
with the Queen. Full of compliments, he was."
I stared at him.
"He saw the play?"
"Of course."
"He knew
me?"
"A classmate of
thine, he said."
"And he really
recognized me?"
"Ah well, through
all that green paint, who knows . . . Of course he recognized thee, blockhead,
he was thy classmate."
For a wild moment I
wondered if I might look like a twin of the real Nathan Field. Did Nathan Field
have parents here in London? When they saw me, would they
instantly know I was a
stranger, or—if I did look like him—would they believe me to be their son?
My wonderings got
wilder and wilder. Would they look like my real parents? Would they somehow be
my parents—already dead, yet not to be born for more than 350 years? My
memories of my mother were no longer very clear, but the thought of seeing my
father again made me shiver with a mixture of excitement and a kind of fear.
Why was all this happening to me?
Roper was staring at
me, faintly hostile. "Th'art an odd fish, Nat Field," he said.
"Art mad, perhaps?"
"Different,"
Harry said. "He's different, that's all." He smiled at me, to show he
meant no harm.
"Nat is a white
witch," Sam said amiably. He made that sign at me, briefly, unobtrusively,
the fist with the two pointing fingers, warding off the evil eye. "If we
are good to him, he will keep us all from harm."
"And save us all
from choking," said Nick Tooley. He thumped Roper on the back. They were
all looking at me owlishly, affectionate but a bit wary. It wouldn't have taken
much for Roper to have picked a quarrel, but he still remembered that he owed
me.
The ale was making us
all a bit fuzzy. Looking around the crowded, low-ceilinged room, with its
flickering candles and bare plaster walls, I wondered how much longer I could
live in this century without trying to do something for it. I might be only a
kid, but I knew things they didn't. I could tell them to boil water before
drinking it; to keep their food cold so it wouldn't spoil; to keep garbage out
of the streets so that it didn't bring the rats, who spread diseases; to brush
their teeth . . .
But did I know how to
make a toothbrush? No—no more than I knew how to give them electricity or gas
or plumbing, radio or television or the telephone. I knew how to use those
things, but not how to invent them. I wasn't twentieth-century civilization—I
was only a kid.
"What does thy
father do, Nat?" said Sam. "Is he a wise man?"
I said, "No. My
father is dead."
We straggled home
through the dim-lit streets in a gradually dwindling group, walking by way of
the Thames jetty to drop off those of the company, like Burbage and Harry, who
would cross by boat to the north bank. The river was dark and murky, but a
half-moon hung in the sky, scudding in and out of ragged clouds.
Will Shakespeare
walked a little unsteadily, with his arm across my shoulders.
"I shall miss
thee, little Puck," he said.
In my head a voice
screamed: Then don't let me go! Keep me with you! I didn't say anything,
except a sort of muffled "Mmm."
He said, "I leave
very early tomorrow for Stratford. I must see my family, and my father has a
lawsuit beginning ... I shall be gone until Dick Burbage hauls me back again.
Which will not be long, I dare say. The carrier will take thee over to St.
Paul's at about ten o'clock."
"Thank you,"
I said miserably.
"Mistress Fawcett
has a purse for thee, with twopence for the carrier and ten shillings for
thee." He chuckled.
"Do not tell the
other boys it is so much, and do not tell Master Mulcaster I gave thee anything
at all. The school has been paid already."
"You shouldn't
pay me," I said. "I acted for you, not for money."
We had reached the
house, and he was fumbling in his pocket for the doorkey.
"We are players,
Nat," he said. "We are working men, you and I." He found the
key, and had some trouble finding the keyhole. Locks were pretty clunky things
then, and his hand might have been stronger if he'd drunk a little less ale. I
heard Mistress Fawcett opening the door from the other side.
She paused.
"Master Shakespeare?" her voice said, uncertainly.
"The players are
returned from triumph, Mistress Fawcett!" Shakespeare said grandly.
"Pray welcome us in!"
She had a candlestick
in her hand and a funny puffy cap on her head, and she shushed us like two
naughty little boys as she opened the door. I guess the neighbors went to bed
early in a London where people got up at dawn.
We took off our shoes,
and lighted more candles. Mistress Fawcett was wearing a long cotton gown as
well as her nightcap, and was clearly on her way to bed. But she paused at the
staircase, and looked at Will Shakespeare tentatively. "So she did
come?" she said.
Shakespeare turned to
her, leaned carefully past her candle flame, and kissed her loudly on her broad
cheek. "She came, she was content, she went safely home, she commanded us
to play at Court next month—and she told our Nathan here he was a pretty
boy."
Mistress Fawcett
smiled broadly, nodding at us both like a devoted aunt. "And so he
is," she said, and she went off up the narrow stairs, filling the space,
her little light disappearing with her.
Shakespeare yawned
suddenly: a huge yawn, like a picture I'd once seen of an old lion, full and
sleepy after a kill. "I expect to hear of thee, Puck," he said.
I said, "Can I
come back? When I finish school—or if things don't go well—can I come back?
Please?"
"Of course. Ask
and I will take thee. Thou hast a gift that will not break with thy voice—I
give thee my promise of a place with the Chamberlain's Men." He reached
out one hand and took hold of my chin, tilting my head toward the nearest
candle. For a moment he stared at me, the tawny eyes narrowed, thoughtful,
puzzled. It was like the way the boys had looked at me in the tavern.
"The Queen saw it
too," he said. "The strangeness. My aerial sprite. I shall not forget
thee, Nat Field. And thou must remember what my poem tells thee, and be at
peace."
If he'd said anything
else, I should have burst into tears. I remember I gave a sort of strangled
throaty noise and flung my arms around his waist, and hugged him.
He held me close for a
moment, and kissed the top of my head. Then he went upstairs, taking his candle
and its dancing shadows and leaving darkness behind.
In a blur of
unhappiness I went into my bedroom, and sat on the bed for a while, thinking
about him. The candle was burning down, guttering, warning me it wouldn't last.
I washed my hands and splashed my face from the bowl of water that good-hearted
Mistress Fawcett had left there. Then I pulled off my clothes and put on my nightshirt,
and got into bed.
The poem Will
Shakespeare had given me was under my pillow; I took it out and stared at the
angular, difficult handwriting. Tomorrow, I thought, I would work out each word
and copy them out privately myself. It was a wonderful poem. Even though I
didn't wholly understand it, deep down it had begun to heal the hurt that I'd
been trying not to look at for the past three years.
I put the crackling
paper carefully back under my pillow, blew out the candle, and lay down to
sleep. I wasn't quite as afraid of the next day as I had been, now that Roper
had reported on a St. Paul's Boy who seemed to recognize me. Maybe what I was
facing wasn't disaster, but more mystery.
And I tried to comfort
myself about having to leave Will Shakespeare. After all, he had promised me a
place with the Lord Chamberlain's Men; he wouldn't forget me, he wanted me to
come back. This was a parting, but it wouldn't be forever.
But it was forever.
Nathan Field has a
dream, lying in his bed that night. It is a summer day, in his dream, with
sunlight shafting through green trees, and Nat in the dream is a very small
boy, not much more than a baby. His father has his two hands clasped around
Nat's body, and he is throwing him a little way up into the air, laughing. He
tosses and catches him, tosses and catches. Nat is laughing too; he can hear
his own laughter, happy, gurgling.
He looks down—and
sees not just his father's bright face but hundreds of other faces, all around
them, all looking up, laughing and applauding. And he is no longer among green
trees but in a theater, though the blue shy is still there at the top; when he
looks up, he can see it through an open circle in the roof.
His father tosses him
higher, higher, and a great bird swoops down through
the O of the open roof and catches him up, holding his clothes in its beak.
Hanging there, rising, he looks down, but he is not frightened. Below him, his
father, the rows of faces and the theater itself shrink and disappear, and
there is only the misty green of the earth and the blue of the sky, and a
wonderful sense of being on his way to a great adventure. A sense of freedom.
But a woman's
voice, which he does not recognize, is calling him.
"Nat! Wake up,
now! You're leaving today! Wake up, Nat!"
SEVENTEEN
For a moment I thought
it was Mistress Fawcett's voice, but then I knew it was a voice I'd never heard
before, and I woke to a vague but terrible premonition of change, of
unfamiliarity.
"Wake up,
Nat!"
As my senses came
awake too, there was the feel of a different pillow under my head, a smoother
sheet against my cheek, an odd antiseptic sort of smell in the air, a brighter
light outside my closed eyelids. It was the second time in my life that I had
woken to find myself somewhere I hadn't been when I went to sleep. And so even
today, sometimes, I wake in uncertainty, full of fear that when I open my eyes
I shall find my reality has been taken away.
The room was filled
with daylight, reflected at me from white walls. There were a lot of electric
sockets in the walls, with wires running to strange boxes and little screens,
and a mysterious red light blinking. I was lying on a bed with a metal frame
around all four sides, and beside the bed stood a woman, smiling. She wore
white, and she was quite young; her hair was pulled back tightly behind her
head.
In panic I shut my
eyes again, looking back for the other side of sleep. My hand crept up
underneath the pillow, and groped to and fro, looking for Will Shakespeare's
poem, but could find nothing. I sat up abruptly, and picked up the pillow.
There was nothing underneath but the bare white sheet.
"Good morning,
Nat," said the young woman cheerfully. She pulled down the near side of
the bed with a metallic clang, and pressed a button, making the head part of the
bed move to a sitting-up angle, with a soft whining noise. She was smiling at
me, with interest but a little warily, I thought. She had a dimple in her right
cheek.
"I'm Nurse
Jenkins," she said. "Nurse Stevens is off duty, she said she was
sorry not to see you again before you go. She sent you her love."
Nurse Stevens? Who was
Nurse Stevens? Where was I? "Thank you," I said.
She was busy plumping
up my pillows, straightening my bedclothes. "Well, you've had quite a
time, haven't you? All this way from America, and we give you this nasty
obscure disease. But you're going home this morning. Ten o'clock."
She settled me back
against the pillows, as if I were a large doll. I tried to smile at her, and I
said "Thank you" again. I was lost. I thought seriously that I might
have gone mad.
"Breakfast
first," said Nurse Jenkins briskly, and she tugged a bed tray around to
jut over my lap. "Then you can have a shower—your clothes are outside the
bathroom." She pointed to a door in the corner of the room, and a small
suitcase beside it. "Take your time now—
don't rush about. Ring
me if you need anything."
She indicated a little
buzzer on the bed next to my hand, patted the hand, and turned to go. I said,
"Nurse, how long have I been in here?"
"I'm not sure,
love, I just got back from holiday. About a week, I think."
She disappeared, and I
looked at the breakfast tray. There was a carton of orange juice, with a small
plastic glass inverted over it, a carton of strawberry yogurt, a carton of
milk, a carton of cornflakes, a paper dish, three little paper packets of
sugar. Behind all these was a paper plate holding two bread rolls, two
foil-wrapped pats of butter and two tiny foil packs of marmalade, all held
together on the plate by a roof of plastic wrap. Wrapped in a small paper
napkin were a plastic knife and a plastic spoon. I was looking at the result of
four hundred years of progress.
Still, I was hungry,
so I ate everything that wasn't plastic, paper or foil.
As I was finishing,
Nurse Jenkins dived in and out of the room, leaving a small white bottle on my
bed tray. "I brought you some shampoo," she said, looking critically
at my head. "I'm really surprised nobody's washed your hair."
Soaping myself in the
shower, I was pretty surprised too—at how good it felt to be thoroughly clean
again. I washed my hair twice, and toweled it dry and combed it, with a comb I
found in a toilet kit in the bathroom. In the mirror I looked like some
familiar person whom I'd almost forgotten. I put on clean undershorts, jeans,
T-shirt, socks and sneakers, all from the suitcase. I was numb; if I started to
think, I would panic.
I can't have left
him; I can't really have left him .. . Nurse Jenkins came back, flashed her
dimple, exclaimed over my cleanliness, and began packing into the little
suitcase several things I didn't know were mine: the toilet kit, a hairbrush,
two paperback books and a silly-looking yellow rubber duck.
"Anything
else?" she said, looking around.
I said, "I had a
sheet of crackly paper, with a poem written on it. Under my pillow."
Nurse Jenkins pulled
the bedclothes apart, looked underneath the bed, shook her head—and then paused
as she saw the expression on my face. "It was important, wasn't it?"
she said.
I said tightly,
"Very, very important."
"I'll copy your
address from your chart," she said, and patted my shoulder. She was a
plump, comforting person, like a young Mistress Fawcett. "If it turns up
I'll make sure it gets to you."
As an afterthought she
peered into the wastepaper basket, but found nothing. A tall, lean man in grey
shirt and pants came into the room without knocking, pushing a wheelchair.
"Nathan Field?" he said.
"That's right,
Ali," said Nurse Jenkins.
"Hop in,
chum," the man said to me.
"But I'm
well," I said. "I don't need a wheelchair."
"Hospital rules,
matey," said the man, flashing beautiful white teeth at me. I wasn't used
to beautiful white teeth. "You're not better till you're outside the
hospital doors."
So I sat in the
wheelchair, fully dressed, feeling idiotic, until we reached a waiting room on
the ground floor. And there was Mrs. Fisher, and with her was my Aunt Jen,
smiling. She took one look at me and started to cry.
They were astounded,
they kept saying on the way back to the Fishers' apartment, at how well I
looked. Clearly they had expected me to be thin and frail and possibly even
weak in the head. This was the first time Mrs. Fisher had seen me since she
had—she said—put me in the hospital.
"You were so
ill," she said. "Do you remember that night?"
"I remember
throwing up," I said. "And I had a fever. I went to bed and you gave
me a hot-water bottle."
"That's all you
remember?"
I remember waking up next morning in
Elizabethan England, still Nat Field but a different Nat Field, a boy actor
borrowed by William Shakespeare to play before the Queen...
"That's
all," I said.
"I've never seen
such a high fever—I was afraid you'd go into convulsions. So we called the
ambulance. You weren't really conscious by then."
Was it all a dream, then, a long elaborate
fever dream? Did I never leave this time and place at all?
Mrs. Fisher said,
"So we went to Guy's Hospital with you, and next morning they said you had
bubonic plague."
I stared at her. I
could see Harry's earnest dark eyes looking into mine, in the little bedroom; I
could hear him saying in relief, "Dear Lord, I was afraid you had the
plague." Could that have been a dream?
We arrived at the
apartment block, and Mrs. Fisher insisted on carrying my little suitcase. Aunt
Jen was clutching my hand, as if I might vanish suddenly away. It was clear
they'd had a scary week, but I couldn't get to the point of feeling
sympathetic, not yet; I was too deep in my own bafflement about what had really
been happening to me.
And in trying to cope
with the terrible aching realization that I should never see Will Shakespeare
again.
Rachel Levin and Gil
Warmun came by, late that afternoon. They both hugged me, and then sat with
their eyes fixed on me, in that careful, cautious way people do when you've
been ill and they don't want to exhaust you. They brought me a Welcome Back
card signed by every member of the company, and a big basket of fruit from
Arby, with a note saying I mustn't come back to rehearsal until I really felt
strong enough.
"I feel
fine," I said. I was trying hard to connect with them, to find my way out
of the fog I was in. I couldn't bear the thought that I might have been living
a dream.
"He's actually
longing to have you back," Rachel said. "He really hopes you can
still do Puck. Eric Sawyer is a nice kid but he just isn't up to it, not in that
space."
Gil said, "Oberon
could use you too. That was one hell of a time to get sick."
The word Oberon was
like a window opening.
I said, "Believe me, king of shadows, I
mistook."
"Yeah, I didn't
really think you intended to catch the plague. That's taking period realism a
bit too far."
"What did it feel
like?" said Rachel curiously.
"I can't
remember," I said. "It's all a kind of blur. But I'm all right, I'll
be at the theater tomorrow." Suddenly I wanted passionately to get back to
the Globe. It wasn't my Globe, but it was the next best thing.
Gil stood up. His
beard was thickening up; he looked older. "Come at nine, and I'll show you
the blocking. There's a run-through at ten." He grinned at me. "Young
Eric will fall over with relief. He's been having a hard time with Arby."
"We'll pick you
up," Rachel said. "Quarter of nine. Oh, Nat, I'm so glad you're
better!" She flung her arms around me and gave me a big extra hug; she was
always good at showing affection, Rachel. I wasn't in her world yet, but I tried
to hug her back.
Suddenly she let me
go, poking an inquisitive finger down the back of my neck, under the edge of my
T-shirt. "What's that?"
"What?" I
said. I felt her finger rub my skin a little.
"It's
paint," she said.
She was holding out
her hand, and I saw the fingertip. It was green.
She looked at my neck
again, intrigued. "Green paint. And such a neat shape. Look, Gil. Just
like a pretty little leaf."
"Must be the
hospital," I said. "Some antiseptic stuff." Suddenly sunlight
was filling the world, suddenly I was |
trying not to grin, not to shout, ft wasn't a dream, it wasn't a dream, it
wasn't a dream ...
I was the only person
who knew my life was complicated. To everyone else it seemed very simple: I'd
been ill in the hospital, and now I was better and had been released. Since
they assumed I'd been lying in bed for a week, often feverish, often asleep,
they asked me no questions. All I had to do was listen while they chattered
away about what had happened while I was gone, and eat and drink whatever was
put in front of me. My aunt and Mrs. Fisher seemed to have become such good
friends in the three days Aunt Jen had been in Britain that they worked
automatically as a kind of double act, checking my health and strength and
appetite, offering me little snacks that I didn't want, patting my shoulder
affectionately as they passed.
Claire, the Fishers'
daughter, had gone away with friends for two weeks, so Aunt Jen was sleeping in
her bedroom. The other Nat Field, or whoever it was in that hospital bed, must
have been really ill, because the first phone call to South Carolina had warned
her bluntly that there was a chance he—I—might die. By the time she got here
the danger was past, but she had clearly been badly scared just the same.
She held me very tightly,
when she said good night to me. We've been through a lot together, Aunt Jen and
me. She's a high school English teacher, and she was the one who encouraged me
to start acting, the year after my dad died. She understood about the comfort
you can get from a small separate world, whether it's a theater or a basketball
team or the inside of a book.
"Welcome back,
Nat," she said. "I couldn't do without you."
"I'm real glad
you're here," I said.
And that was true too,
in spite of my hopelessness.
There was far more
space backstage at the new Globe than there had been at the old one, and it was
much cleaner and less drafty. We had four big dressing rooms, with names—Air,
Earth, Fire, Water—and real bathrooms with running water and toilets. Behind
the stage, instead of hauling furniture up with ropes and pulleys, all you had
to do was put them in a big elevator and press a button.
Yet even with all
this, I found myself missing the dirt and the smells of the noisy primitive
Elizabethan theater, which had so easily become home. I told myself that it
didn't matter, that it was what was happening in the theater that mattered, the
play and the players, the little | separate world. I believed that, but still
there was something missing.
I was missing him, of
course.
This was Sunday.
Monday afternoon would be a preview; on Tuesday A Midsummer Night's
Dream would | open, and run for two weeks, alternating every two or three
performances with Julius Caesar. Arby had taken me out of Julius Caesar
because I was supposed to have been so ill; I'd only had bit parts in it
anyway But I was a seri-ous part of his vision of the Dream, and that
production was far more important to him than my possible state of health. From
Arby's point of view, bubonic plague wasn't an extraordinary, life-threatening
disease, it was an annoying nuisance that had temporarily screwed up his
casting. Back on his stage now, I was an ordinary member of the company and he
was the same touchy perfectionist he'd always been. I realized very soon that
this wasn't exactly a happy company, because everyone was so jumpy and
nervous—but it was a very good one.
Ferdie gave me a big
hug when I first saw him. He looked just the same: droopy jeans, long flapping
T-shirt, three chains around his neck.
"Welcome back to
the human race, my man!"
"How you been,
Ferdie?"
"Stressed. Arby
stress. He got us running like little hamsters on a wheel."
"He'll be better
now you're back," little Eric Sawyer said. He punched me on the arm, his
smile as bright as his red hair. "He was worried. We all were."
"I'm just
fine," I said, and tried to believe myself. "I'm just fine."
Before rehearsal, Gil
walked me through our Oberon-Puck scenes on the stage. It was eerie, because so
many of the moves were the same as those I'd played with Will
Shakespeare—especially, of course, the acrobatic exits and entrances I'd taken
into the past with me, which had been invented by Arby four hundred years after
they were played. I couldn't get my head around the time difference; it was as
if I were living in both centuries at once. On stage in particular, I kept
waiting for Roper and Harry to come on, or John Heminges, Henry Condell, Dick
Burbage . . .
And instead of Will
Shakespeare I had Gil. I suppose he was actually a better actor than
Shakespeare, both technically and intuitively, but it wasn't the same. I was
like a planet that has lost its sun. Our scenes together didn't have the
personal connection they'd had when he and I had played together before, and
Gil could sense it, and was puzzled. He knew we'd lost something. He probably
hoped it would come back in performance.
I hoped so too, but
not enough to try to do anything about it. I was still pining. I wasn't really
there. When I went off to put a girdle round about the earth in forty minutes,
this time I wasn't a spirit in love with his master, but an obedient little
servant. I felt as if I were inside a huge thundercloud, waiting for the storm
to explode.
When I first bumped
heads with someone, it wasn't with Gil, but with the designer, Diane, who had
just flown in from New York for a few days. She hovered while Maggie the
wardrobe mistress put Gil and me into our costumes; then she nodded her head in
approval.
"It all looks
great. The lightness really sets them off against the others."
Oberon, Titania, the
fairies and I were all dressed in Elizabethan costume, in assorted shades of
white and cream. I looked at Gil's formal creamy brocade cloak, and my puffy
white pants and white legs, and I hated them. I said, "It's all
wrong!"
Diane looked down at
me as if she'd heard a mouse bark. She was a tall, lean lady with bright red
nails and long dark hair, and she wore long floaty black clothes and lots of
jangly jewelry. She said dangerously, "What did you say?"
"They wouldn't
have looked like that!" I said.
Diane sighed. "It
was common for Elizabethan plays to be done in Elizabethan costume," she
said.
"But not this
one!" I said.
Diane smiled at me,
with some effort. "Well, Nat, since neither of us was there when they did
it, I'm afraid you're just going to have to put up with what you've got."
"You look lovely," said Maggie, pacifying me. "Like a
snowflake."
I said, "I look
like a vanilla ice-cream cone." "Well, try not to melt onstage,"
Diane said nastily. She turned to Gil, who was trying to pretend he was
somewhere else, and she began adjusting his cloak.
I stared at myself
sulkily in the mirror, and tried not to think about Master Burbage's wonderful
green leaves.
I found the
run-through a very painful business. Here I was, straight out of Will Shakespeare's
own fresh new Midsummer Night's Dream, trying to adjust to Arby's
production, which was designed to shake up four hundred years of familiarity,
not to mention the accumulated boredom of generations of kids forced to read it
only on the page. I had to bite my tongue as we went along, to stop myself
shouting out warnings of how a line would work or not work. Once or twice I
said things anyway, and this was not popular. The company were all supposed to
know this theater better than I did, not the other way around.
Arby must have been
taken aback by the erratic behavior of quiet Nat Field, his athletic but shy
Puck from Greenville, South Carolina. He wasn't to know that someone who starts
off quiet and shy can be turned into a kind of simmering volcano, if he's flung
in and out of the past, and given more emotions to cope with in a week than
some people have in a lifetime.
Our real explosion
came over that exit line when
Oberon sends Puck off
to get the magic herb; when, for Will Shakespeare, I had cartwheeled my way
upstage and all the way off. When the line came this time—
"I'll put a girdle round about the earth
In forty minutes—"
—instinctively I threw
myself into the first cartwheel, and at once Arby's voice boomed out from the
gallery where he was sitting.
"NO, Puck! Exit
through the house, remember!"
I stopped, and looked
toward the gallery; I couldn't see him properly.
"It's better this
way!" I called out.
He ignored me.
"Jump down, without hitting a groundling—run out through the yard door,
and around back."
I stood obstinately
still on the stage. "Shakespeare hated exits through the theater!" I
shouted at him.
Arby rasped,
"Just do what I ask, Nat."
"He did, he
thought they were corny!"
"And who gave you
that little gem?"
"I just know
it!" I longed passionately to be able to yell, He told me so, you
idiot!
Arby was angry now; he
had all the weight of two productions on his mind, and I guess he wasn't going
to be crossed by one little actor. His voice began softly, and it rose and
rose. "Whatever William Shakespeare may be said to have preferred, Nat, I
want you to run forward, jump down and run out, as we rehearsed—you may have
been sick, but you can still take direction, and I am alive and kicking and
directing this show for this century and Shakespeare is dead!"
It was just about the
worst thing he could possibly have chosen to say, and it hit me like some
terrible bolt of lightning. Sure, I knew Will Shakespeare was dead—he'd been
dead for nearly four hundred years—but two days ago, for me, he had been alive,
warm and alive and hugging me, promising me a place as an actor in his company.
I loved him and I missed him, and I should never see him again, never, never,
never, never, never—
Something in my mind
fell apart. I looked out at the gallery and shouted my line, to Arby, not to
patient Gil standing there on the stage.
"Ill put a girdle round about the earth In
forty minutes—"
I heard my voice crack
on the last word, and I leapt down from the stage and ran out across the
groundlings' yard and through the exit door, crying, and I kept on running, out
and away and up the street, toward the River Thames, which flowed on fast and
grey-green and unchanging, just as it had last week, just as it had four or
forty centuries ago.
Gil came after me, and
Rachel with him. She'd been sitting up in the gallery with Arby and he'd sent
her, instantly, though I didn't know that for a while. I was in costume and so
was Gil, and we must have looked pretty stupid running through the streets of
London. But the Globe is a busy place, with tourists flocking through it
constantly, so we might have been mistaken for a staged bit of local color. I
had to thread my way through a crowd
on the jetty near the
theater, a whole class of French schoolchildren with teachers yelling at them
in French. 1 guess that was what slowed me down enough for Gil and Rachel to be
able to spot me and follow.
I ran blindly, along
the Thames, up a lot of steps to Southwark Bridge. A big cruise boat swept by
on the river, with a blurred voice booming from it. Over the glass and concrete
and brick buildings on the opposite bank rose the great dome of St. Paul's
Cathedral, where there had been a different church altogether in Shakespeare's
day. In my day, my other day. Southwark Bridge hadn't been there then either,
nor any of the other bridges I could see through the green and yellow railings
as I ran.
But I wasn't paying
attention to bridges; I was dodging through puzzled people, running in my white
Elizabethan costume, crying. Then I was across the river, turning into a narrow
cobbled street under a sign that read skinners
lane, and it was there that Gil and Rachel caught up with me.
Rachel grabbed me and
put her arms around me, and I sobbed into her shoulder and she rubbed my back.
Just for a minute or two. Then I tried to pull myself together. Gil gave me a
fistful of tissues, and squeezed my arm.
"I'm sorry,"
I said, snuffling through the tissues.
"It's all right,
it's all right," they said, in several different ways, and Rachel started
to explain how Arby was very stressed out and hadn't meant to upset me, and how
he thought I was a wonderful little actor, and all that sort of stuff.
I said, "Can we
sit somewhere for a while?"
"As long as you
want," Gil said.
So we went back around
the corner to Southwark
Bridge and found a
bench, set back in the sidewalk under a curlicued wrought-iron lamppost, and up
there over the Thames with the taxis and buses rumbling past us, I told them
everything there was to tell.
They sat there staring
at me. The sun shone briefly out of the bustling clouds overhead, and glimmered
on the little diamond in the side of Rachel's nose.
Gil said to me slowly, "You are so lucky."
"Wow, Nat,"
Rachel said. "Oh wow!"
For a moment they were
quiet again, just looking, thinking, imagining.
I said, "I was
afraid you'd say it was all a dream."
Rachel laughed, and
shook her head.
"Of course
not," Gil said. Sitting there in his Elizabethan doublet and his beard, he
looked a little like a younger version of Shakespeare. "How could anyone
have such an incredibly long dream? And there's stuff in there—people,
details—that you couldn't possibly have picked up just from reading, specially
not at your age."
Rachel said, "And
there's the leaf."
"The leaf?"
he said.
"The painted
green leaf on the side of Nat's neck, remember? Left from his Puck makeup. I
touched it. Some paint came off on my finger. My Lord. I touched paint that Richard
Burbage painted on him four hundred years ago."
"Two days
ago," I said.
"Is it still
there?"
"I tried to keep
it, but it must have rubbed off on my T-shirt."
"Keep the
T-shirt!" Rachel said, excited. "Someone could analyze the paint,
show that it was old. Carbon dating, or something."
"No," I
said. "I don't need that." I felt suddenly very tired, drained of energy.
My head ached, and my eyes were puffy from crying. I stared out at the
fast-flowing, grey-green river, where a small, tough tug was trying to tow an
enormous barge upstream. I said, "All 1 want to know is, why has all
this been happening to me?"
"The other
boy," Gil said. He gave a cold look to a pair of teenage girls, giggling
at his costume as they passed. "The boy who was in the hospital here sick,
when you were healthy in the past. Who was he?"
"Another Nat
Field. Nathan. That was his name too."
"Where's he
gone?"
"Back where he
came from, I guess. We must have swapped. And nobody was able to tell. Nobody
who knew me was allowed near him in the hospital here. And at the old Globe,
the only person who'd have known I wasn't him was Will Kempe—who walked out
just as I arrived."
"Nat Field—we
have to find him!" Gil said. He jumped up, pulling Rachel with him.
"That's
dumb," I said wearily. "How can we possibly find him? He's gone back
in time."
"Get up,"
said Gil. He grabbed my arm. "We're going to find him in the record books.
We'll start with the books in Arby's house, and Rachel will get us a sandwich,
and maybe we'll go back to the theater and maybe not."
"Actors!"
Rachel said, and rolled her eyes. "Cast them as a king and they think they
can behave like one."
Gil ignored her. He
put his hands on both sides of my face, cupping it, and looked me in the eyes
for an instant.
"Nat—everything's
going to be all right."
Nothing was ever going
to be all right, but it was nice of him to try.
We went to the house
that Arby was renting; Rachel had her key on a chain around her neck, along
with a little grey stone with a hole in it, from some special beach she loved
in Northern California. Julia wasn't there; like everyone else, she was at the
theater getting ready for our opening. I suppose I should have felt guilty that
I wasn't there, but I didn't. I didn't know how to feel involved in the way I
had before.
Rachel took us to the
room Arby was using as a study—which actually was a study, belonging to the
house's owner, a lecturer at London University who was spending the summer in
Australia.
The room was full of
bookshelves and books and piles of papers. Rachel made a beeline for a small
tower of books on the floor next to the desk. "These are Arby's, he's been
going mad buying books at the Globe shop. Specially some guy called Andrew
Gurr, who writes about the Elizabethan theater. Arby thinks he's God."
"I've seen
those," Gil said. He dropped on his knees next to her, and pretty soon all
three of us were on the floor, each flipping through a book. I don't know whose
voice came first, Gil's or mine.
"Nathan
Field!"
"Nathan
Field!"
"He's here
too," said Rachel, from her book, "but it calls him Nathaniel."
Gil was peering at the
bottom of a page. "He did go to St. Paul's School—that's what you said,
Nat, right? It says, in 1596 Richard Mulcaster became High Master at St. Paul's
School, and while he was there he taught Nathan Field, the Blackfriars Boys'
best player."
"Mulcaster!"
I said. I heard Will Shakespeare's voice in my head. "Richard Mulcaster
has of his kindness lent us his Puck. You."
Gil looked up at me
quickly. "Did you meet him?"
"Shakespeare said
he was my teacher."
"And that was in
1599. It fits."
"The Blackfriars
Boys were later than that," Rachel said, turning pages. "A year
later—1600. Nathan Field was their star."
"So in 1599 he
spends a week in the twentieth century, which maybe he hardly notices because
he's so ill, and the next year he leaves school and joins the Blackfriars Boys
Company. Goes from acting in school plays to being a pro."
"But before
that—" I said. I was hunting urgently through my book to find out whether
I—no, not me— whether Nat Field went back to Will Shakespeare's company, to the
Lord Chamberlain's Men. Surely he must have gone back, how could he not have
gone back? But I couldn't find anything. Why not? He, we, couldn't have stayed
away from him for long—
I reached for Gil's
book instead, frantic to know what happened. I was a crazy mixture of emotions
by now, fiercely jealous of the first Nat Field for having gone back to the
world and the people I'd had to leave; passionately concerned to make sure that
he'd done the right things afterward, the things I would have done.
Gil clutched his book.
"Hey, hold on."
I said urgently,
"I can't find when he went back to Shakespeare's company."
Rachel reached out and
took hold of my arm. She said, "But, Nat, he was never in Shakespeare's
company. You were. He was here."
I stared at her. She
let go of my arm, and patted it, and smiled at me, that hopeful kind of smile
that doesn't know if it's managing to reach its target.
She was right, of
course. My first day in that century had been the day Nat Field and Will
Shakespeare first met. My last was the day Nat Field left the Globe to go back
to St. Paul's School. But that Nat Field wasn't him—it was me.
I couldn't get my head
around it; all I could see was Shakespeare. I said, "But he said I could
go back later on, he said I could have a place in the company."
"He was talking
to you, honey," Rachel said gently. "The other Nat Field
didn't want that, he didn't even know Shakespeare, he wanted to be with the
Blackfriars Boys."
It was me. Yes, it
was me, not him. I was the one he rescued from the pit I was in. But why have I
had to lose him?
Gil was looking at
another page. "Hey, he did well, the other Nathan. He was their star actor
for years, he grew up in the company and he wrote plays too. And poetry."
"This book calls
him a 'major playwright,'" Rachel said.
I turned to the next
reference in the book I had—and suddenly there was a face on the page, and the
caption read nathan field.
It was a
black-and-white reproduction of a painting: a young man in his twenties, with a
rather delicate, fine-boned face, and a pearl earring dangling from the only
ear you could see. He had wide dark eyes, long curly dark hair, a moustache and
a hint of a beard. He was wearing an expensive-looking, embroidered shirt, and
holding his right hand over his heart. He didn't look even remotely like me.
On the opposite page
was a painting of Richard Burbage. He looked older than the Burbage I
knew—a-bit like Arby with a beard—but otherwise it was a lot like him. The
caption said it was "thought to be a self-portrait." He was looking
straight out at me from the page, and that made me feel very weird indeed.
Rachel and Gil were
peering over my shoulder. Rachel said, "Look at this. 'Nathan Field died a
bachelor with a considerable reputation, of the kind not uncommon among
players, for success with women.'" She chuckled, and prodded my back.
Gil wasn't paying
attention, he was studying another paragraph. "It says he was in the
King's Men for the last four years of his life. There you go, Nat—that was
Shakespeare's company."
"Shakespeare's
company was the Lord Chamberlain's Men," I said.
"Only till the
Queen died. When James I came to the throne, he made them the King's Men."
Gil was back at his own book, flicking though. "Here it is—Nathan Field
joined the King's Men as an actor-writer in 1616 or so."
Rachel said,
"That was the year Shakespeare died."
"Shoot," I
said. That made me really depressed. I'd wanted there to be a connection
between Will Shakespeare and my namesake. It wouldn't make any difference, it
didn't make any sense, but it would have been a tiny thing to hang on to, even
though Nathan Field and I shared nothing but our name.
"But there's
something else," Gil said. "Those companies were all owned by the top
actors—each of them had one share, except Burbage, he had more. And you know
what? Nathan Field bought Shakespeare's share."
I got up off the floor
and went over to the window. The sky was grey, and so was the city, and the
river. Okay, so I had my link between Field and Shakespeare now, I had all
these dates and figures, but all I felt was the huge ache of separation. I'd
been given such a wonderful present, the best thing to have happened since my
father died, and then it had been taken away.
Rachel came and put
her arm over my shoulders.
I said miserably,
"But why? Why did it all happen?"
Gil said, "I've
been thinking about that." He was sitting there cross-legged on the floor,
still in his Elizabethan costume of course; he looked like a portrait himself.
"I think it must have been the plague."
"The
plague?"
"Nathan Field had
bubonic plague. If you got the plague in those days, you died. But if you get
it today, they can cure you quite easily, if they catch it soon enough. With
antibiotics. You were switched with Nathan Field so that he could be cured
of the plague."
1 stared
at him. "Who switched us?"
"Ah, that's another
question," Gil said. He shrugged.
"Time. God. Fate.
Depends what you believe in."
"Nathan Field
wasn't so very special, to have that happen. None of us had ever heard of
him."
"It wasn't done
for Nathan Field," Gil said. His eyes looked very bright, as if he were
suddenly high.
"Oh my
Lord!" said Rachel. She turned to him. "Shakespeare!"
Gil nodded. He was
grinning.
"It was 1599,
Nat," Rachel said. "Shakespeare was only in his thirties, he wrote
most of his greatest plays after that. If he'd acted with Nathan Field instead
of with you, he'd have caught the plague and died."
"We wouldn't have
had Hamlet or Othello or King Lear or a dozen
others," Gil said. "We'd have lost the best playwright that ever
lived. You may feel you've lost him, Nat, but you saved him. If you hadn't gone
back in time, William Shakespeare would have died."
It was true, I guess;
if there was a reason for the time slip, that was it. Realizing it should have
knocked me sideways.
But it didn't, not
then. Whether Will Shakespeare had been in his thirties or his fifties when he
died, the fact remained that he was dead. Like my mom, like my dad. I didn't
have long enough with any of them. And Shakespeare was so clear in my mind,
he'd flashed through my life like a shooting star such a little while ago; I
couldn't bear to let go of the image of him alive and unpredictable, of the
sound of his voice, die sight of that quick smile brightening his face.
I dropped to the floor
nest to them again. I said, swallowing to keep the misery out of my voice,
"He gave me a poem. He copied it for me, after I'd told him about my dad
dying. He wanted me to keep it so it would help. I put it under my pillow,
but"—I choked up, and thumped my fist on the floor to make myself go
on—"but then I woke up in the hospital, and it was gone."
Gil said, "Was it
one of the sonnets? D'you remember any of it?"
I tried, but I'd only
heard it the once, when Shakespeare read it for me. "There was something
about marriage in the first line. And further on it said that love was an
ever-fixed mark."
Gil and Rachel looked
at each other, a quick private look.
Gil said quietly,
"We can find that for you."
Rachel got up, and
fetched a book from one of the shelves behind the desk. It was a big fat Complete
Works of Shakespeare. She gave it to Gil, and sat down cross-legged beside
us.
Gil opened the book
near the back, and flipped through pages of sonnets, until he paused. He said,
"Number one sixteen," and he began to read it aloud.
"Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments—"
From the doorway, a
deeper voice said,
"—Love is not love Which alters
when it alteration finds Or bends with the remover to remove. O no! It
is an ever-fixed mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken—"
It was Arby. Standing
there, casually, one hand in his pocket, he went right through the poem to the
end, in that deep actor's voice of his, reminding me suddenly of Master
Burbage's voice, and when he'd finished I saw Gil and Rachel were unobtrusively
holding hands. I glanced away fast, so as not to embarrass them.
There was a silence
for a moment, and then Arby gave us a little crooked grin. He said,
"Thought you might be here. I came home to grab a sandwich, and to find my
Puck." He turned and went off down the hallway toward the kitchen.
Gil stood up.
"I'll be back," he said. He leaned over and gave Rachel and me a
squeeze on the shoulder, one hand on each, and went after Arby.
Rachel said, "You
still have your poem, Nat."
"I guess
so," I said. I looked at the page, and felt slightly better. "I do,
don't I?"
"I think I know
why he gave you it," she said. "Specially if it was after talking
about your father. It's a wonderful poem. It says, loving doesn't change just
because someone isn't there, or because time gets in the way, or even death. It's
always with you, keeping you safe, it won't ever leave you."
"An ever-fixed mark," I said.
Rachel nodded. "Even
to the edge of doom." She looked down at the page, and then across at
me. "You met him!" she said softly. "You spoke to
him!"
Then suddenly she got
up, pulling me with her. "Let's go eat lunch. Are you coming back to
rehearsal? We open tomorrow."
I said reluctantly,
"It's so hard playing it, after everything."
"I know. But if
he gave you a poem, I figure you can give him a performance. Even if it's not
the same as the one you did with him. What do you think?"
"I'll let you
know," I said.
In the kitchen, Gil
and Arby were making tuna fish sandwiches and talking about Titania's little
unseen serving boy in A Midsummer Night's Dream, the one she and Oberon
fight about. This had always been a sore point with Rachel, who was permanently
pissed off that Titania gives way in the end, and lets Oberon take the boy, in
spite of all the good reasons she's given earlier in the play for being attached
to him. Pretty soon there was a brisk, though quite friendly, argument going on
about antifemi-nist stereotypes, or something like that. It suited me fine. I
ate my sandwich and sat quietly on the edge of the conversation. I was feeling
totally numb.
But I went back to
rehearsal. What else was I going to do? Arby had brought me from the United
States to play Puck, that was my job. And Rachel was right: Will Shakespeare
had given me a poem, so I owed him a performance—a second performance. Most
important of all perhaps, I was an actor, I wanted always to be an actor, so
the Globe Theatre—and all other theaters like and unlike it—would always be my
world.
Just before we left
the house, I slipped back into Arby's study. I wanted to copy out my poem, so
that I could keep it with me. I had the big Complete Works open on the
desk, and I was scribbling hastily on a piece of scrap paper, when Arby came
into the room and saw me.
He came to the desk
and looked at my paper. He didn't say a thing at first, he didn't ask me what I
was doing or why; he simply reached down to the pile of books on the floor
beside the desk, did a little excavation and pulled out two slim paperbacks.
"This is for
you," he said, and he handed me one of the books. It was a copy of
Shakespeare's Sonnets.
I was startled.
"Uh—thank you," I said. "Uh—are you sure you—"
"I have a bunch
of copies," Arby said. He handed me the other paperback. "Do you know
this one?"
The title said The
Tempest, by William Shakespeare.
"No," I
said.
He said, "Take it.
You should read it sometime. Better still, see it acted, if you're ever in the
right place."
"Why?" I
said.
"You'll know
why," Arby said.
Then we went back to
the Globe, and I forgot all about The Tempest in the pressure of
rehearsing the Dream. But I didn't forget about my poem.
I slept like a log
that night. I was worn out by all the emotion, not to mention the rehearsing.
They had it all down pat, it was a very smooth production by now. Things
weren't like that in my day—in Shakespeare's day, I mean—when there simply
wasn't time to rehearse so much. Every performance had its awkwardnesses and
thribblings.
My day. What
was my day? Which side of the four-hundred-year gap?
This Dream was
going to look and sound gorgeous; I had to admit that, once I'd reconciled
myself to seeing on the stage the clothes I'd seen on the streets only days
before. Arby had taken great pains with every detail. Even the music sounded
just like what I remembered—not the exact tunes, but the sound of it, the kind
of instruments the musicians played.
I was due at the Globe
at ten in the morning for our two o'clock opening performance. Mrs. Fisher had
gone to work by the time I got up, though she was taking the afternoon off to
see the play. I ate a huge breakfast; Aunt Jen cooked me two fried eggs and
some thick, meaty English bacon. We'd already done all our catching up with
news from home; we were just comfortable together. I reread my poem while I
ate—Aunt Jen wasn't one of those people who ban books from the table a hundred
percent of the time—and looked at some of the other sonnets. There was one
couplet I liked a lot:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
"Thee" was
the person he was writing the poem about, but it seemed to me that it could
also mean him, Shakespeare. Even though he'd been dead for almost four hundred
years, here we were still acting his plays, reading his sonnets, as if he were
alive.
I just wished I could
find that comforting.
Aunt Jen said, right
out of the blue, "I wish Gabriel could see you this afternoon. He'd have
been so proud."
Gabriel was my father.
I felt my eyes fill with tears, before I'd even had time to think—but they were
good tears, somehow, better than the dry pain that I'd had for so long.
She put a hand on the
back of my neck. "I'm sorry, honey, I didn't mean to upset you."
"You
haven't," I said. "I wish he was here too."
"He's been on my
mind a lot this past week," she said. "We never talk about him, do
we? I think we shall, more often, now you're getting older." She sat down
opposite me. She was wearing jeans and a white shirt, with a Navajo turquoise
ornament on a chain around her neck; she looked rather like a kid, except for
the grey ponytail. She said, "Do you remember him well?"
"Not as well as I
used to. I remember little-kid things, like him throwing me up in the air and
catching me, when I must have been really young. I remember him reading to me,
at night when I was in bed. Aunt Jen—I'd like to read his poems."
"They're all
waiting for you at home," she said. "They're difficult—but if you can
manage the Sonnets, you can try him. You'll find yourself in a few of
them."
"Really?"
She picked up my
paperback. "Poets find truth by writing about what they love," she
said.
"Did he say
that?"
Aunt Jen laughed.
"No—I just said it. Your father and William Shakespeare say things better
than that." She looked at her watch. "You should leave soon—I'll walk
you to the theater. Mustn't keep Mr. Babbage waiting, not today."
I said blankly,
"Who?"
She blinked at me.
"Your director, of course."
I sat very still. I
said, "We're so used to calling him Arby, I guess we forget his other
name."
"Arby," said
Aunt Jen with mild interest. "The initials, I suppose. RB. Richard
Babbage."
I thought about that
name, and those initials, all the way to the theater. It was a weird echo, and
it spooked me out. But I didn't take it any further, not then. The moment I was
back with Arby, it went out of my head. He was so much his very positive self,
so firmly planted in the theater of today and his own ideas about what it
should be like.
There was always
something about the way Arby dressed that told you he had to be an actor, or a
director, or maybe a painter. It wasn't that he looked outrageous, he just
never looked ordinary. Quite often he was dressed all in black. Today, as a
tribute to the opening, he wore black jeans, a purple shirt open at the neck,
and a gold medallion around his neck.
He was also being
extremely irritable, rehearsing Gil, Alan Wong, Eric, me and four other
"fairies" onstage in the dance that hallows the Duke's house at the
end of the play. He had a group of English musicians up in the gallery, and
couldn't get their tabor player, who was also their leader, to give him the
tempo he wanted. By the time they got it right, the smaller fairies were
beginning to fool around at the back of the stage. One boy in particular was
being obnoxious, trying to start a belching contest, ignoring all warnings.
After the loudest belch, Gil flicked a finger sharply against the side of his
head, and the kid shrieked as if he were being murdered. And Arby blew.
"Warmun—you just
touch one of those kids again, and I'll have you out of this play faster than
light! Are you crazy? People who hit children end up in jail!"
I was so indignant on
Gil's behalf that I made the huge mistake of shouting back at him. "It was
the kid's fault, not Gil's!"
"Keep your mouth
shut, Field!" Arby snapped.
"You didn't see
what was happening! Leave him alone!"
"Shut up!"
"Shut up
yourself!" I shouted. I could feel Gil's hand gripping my shoulder, but it
was no good, I couldn't stop. I was so angry with the world, with everyone and
everything—and now suddenly the rage had found an outlet and there was no way
to stop it pouring out. "You think you're God!" I shrieked at Arby.
"You have to be right all the time, don't you, you won't let anyone else
have feelings, it's all you, you, you! Who do you think you are?"
I was screaming at him
like a mad person, and everyone on stage was standing frozen, staring at me. I
heard the shrill echo of my voice curve around the theater as I stopped.
There was a moment's
stunned silence, and then Arby said from the stage gallery, "Everyone take
a ten-minute break in the greenroom. Or get into costume, if you aren't already."
His voice was calm and level now. "Keep those small children under
control, Maisie. Nat Field, I want to see you up here. Now." His eyes
shifted briefly to Gil. "Alone."
Everyone quietly moved
away, out through the stage exits to the big backstage doors, which led to
parts of the theater that hadn't been there in my other Globe. Gil rubbed my
back for an instant and went away; we both knew there was nothing he could do.
I hadn't really been yelling because of him, I'd been yelling because of me.
I went up to the
gallery. The musicians' chairs were grouped there, a music stand in front of
each, and Arby was sitting in one of them with his back to me.
For a moment I felt a
kind of giddiness, and I put out a hand to the wall to steady myself. In the
air, from the wooden O of the roof, I could hear the burbling of the doves that
I'd heard four hundred years ago, loud, very loud, growing louder.
Arby didn't move. His
broad shoulders looked different suddenly, yet still familiar, and my neck
prickled with uncertainty. He turned his head, and there he still was, the same
face, with the long chin and the rather big nose, but with a look of someone
else too.
"Sit down,
Nat," he said quietly. "I didn't intend to have this conversation,
but there's no way to predict how fast a wound will heal. Or how slowly. And
you have your deep cut right on top of the old scar, and so you scream."
I sat down on one of
the musicians' chairs. I suddenly felt he knew far, far more about me than I
knew about him. It was like being on the edge of a precipice and trying not to
look down. "What do you mean?" I said.
"It's cruel,
isn't it?" Arby said. "You lost your father, in that terrible way,
and part of you froze into a little ice block, like the heart of the Snow
Queen. Then a man from the past warmed you to life again, and before you could
blink, you lost him too. Time took him away. Cruel, cruel."
How did he know about
my father? I'd never told him. How did he know about Will
Shakespeare?
"Has Gil talked
to you?" I said.
Arby paid no
attention. He wasn't listening to me. "We think too much about past and
present, Nat," he said.
"Time does not
always run in a straight line. And once in a while, something is taken away in
order that it may be given back."
He got to his feet,
and stood there looking down at me, in his purple and black. The light glinted
on the medallion around his neck, drawing my eyes like a hypnotist's finger. It
was as if he had taken us both out of the real world and we were up in the sky,
in space, looking down at it. Looking down at the blue planet that the
astronauts see. Looking at all the centuries, all the things that happen and
are so hard to explain or understand.
That was the picture
that came into my head, just for that moment, and I swear he'd put it there.
Arby reached out and
took my hand. He said, "An American actor called Sam Wanamaker spent half
his life making a dream come true, making it possible for Shakespeare's Globe
to be rebuilt in this place. So it was built, and here it is. The place where
Nat Field could be brought to Nat Field. But not by accident."
The hair was beginning
to prickle on the back of my neck again.
"Will Shakespeare
had to be saved," Arby said. "Once the Globe was here, I had my
own work to do. To form a company of boys. To choose the right play, and
arrange for it to be played at the Globe. To find and cast a boy whose name was
Nat Field, who had a fierce painful need strong enough to take him through
Time."
I was staring at him.
I must have looked like a frightened rabbit. I said, "Who are
you?"
"Just an
actor," Arby said. He let go my hand. "Richard Babbage, from London
via Massachusetts, at your service."
But he slurred the
word a little, in his English-American accent. There was no knowing whether he
had actually said "Babbage"—or "Burbage."
The doves were cooing
in the roof.
"Everything is
repaired, everything is healed," Arby said. "Nat Field was made well,
Will Shakespeare lived to give us his plays. But a part of you is still
wounded, still angry, so there is one more thing I must tell you, to bring the
healing full circle. I think Will missed you, Nat. He missed his Puck, his
aerial sprite, when the sprite went to St. Paul's and never came back."
I thought: I miss him too. Oh I miss him too.
He was looking down at
the stage, this man we called Arby. He was in profile, half shadowed,
unreadable.
I was sitting very
still; I hardly dared breathe.
"And though he
had lost you, I think he kept the memory of you in his head," he said.
"Toward the end of his life, when he was writing little, and acting less,
he wrote one more great play, and he wrote you into it." He looked across
at me. "Do you remember what he used to call you?"
I heard that warm, velvety voice in my memory. Th'art
a sprite, an aerial sprite, born of the air. One day I shall write thee an
airier Robin Goodfellow—unless thou leave me, or grow old ...
I said, "Like you
said. He called me his Puck. His aerial sprite."
He smiled. "That
play I gave you to read, The Tempest. It's about a great magician,
called Prospero. Will Shakespeare played him, a few times—it was the last part
he ever played. And in the play, Prospero has a servant, a spirit, a sort of
ethereal Puck, whose name is Ariel. No doubt a good little actor played him, a
pretty light-footed boy with a sweet voice, but Ariel was written for Will
Shakespeare's vanished Nat, the boy in his memory. You."
My aerial sprite. I
shall not forget thee, Nat Field.
I couldn't
speak for a moment. Whoever he was, this man, whatever he was, he leaned over
me and looked in through my eyes, into the inside of my mind. "You have
not lost him, Nat," he said. "You will never lose him, never."
Then he was Arby
again, director, actor, teacher, boss man, dragon. He put a hand under my arm
and yanked me up out of the chair. "Next summer, the Company of Boys will
do a production of The Tempest," he said. "And you'll play
Ariel. So you'd better be damn good as Puck today, or I might change my
mind."
I cleared my throat,
though I still sounded husky. "All right," I said.
Arby looked at me with
a half-smile. I saw a muscle twitch in his cheek, below his left eye. He said,
"At the end of The Tempest Prospero lets Ariel go free. 'I shall
miss thee,' he says, 'but still thou shalt have freedom.' Go
free, Nat—free of grieving. And your two poets will go with you always."
In the sky overhead a
big jet moved across the wooden O, high up, and its distant roar rose and
faded. The sound of the doves had gone.
And from the top
window in the little roof house over our gallery, the long clear note of a single
trumpet rang out, signaling the audience, telling the actors, calling the world
to the theater. In one hour from now, our play would begin.