I never saw the Goddamn Parrot before he dropped onto my shoulder in Wizard’s Reach, two blocks from home. Or one block through the alley to my back fence. By then the only companions I had were the bird and Pular Singe. None of us were inclined to lose any sleep looking for Cypres Prose anymore.
Maybe I was just telling myself what I wanted to hear when I reasoned that Kip was in no physical danger because the silver elves had shown no inclination to do anyone any permanent harm. So far.
Kip’s personality might trigger the extra effort. The bird said nothing. His presence was the message. The Dead Man knew we were coming. And he knew that Bic Gonlit was on our trail.
Now we would see how well the little fat man had done his homework.
If he knew much about the Dead Man he wouldn’t get too close to the house. Not as close as he’d gotten in the alley. Though how close is really too close is something even I don’t know.
The Goddamn Parrot whispered, “He has stopped, Garrett. He has positioned himself behind the Bailnoc stoop. From there he can see the front of our house while he stays far enough removed that I cannot read much more than his moods.”
He didn’t seem to mind Singe finding out that he could chat with me through the ugly rooster. I didn’t think he was dumb enough to believe that she was too dim to catch on. So he trusted her completely.
Handy to know just how trustworthy your associates are.
I looked back. I couldn’t see a thing. I wondered how Gonlit could be watching me. I wondered about his connections. He’d have to have some potent ones helping right now. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to follow me around unnoticed.
That takes some advanced magic.
I think I’m pretty good at this stuff I do. I don’t normally get tailed without noticing unless the tail comes armed with some pretty potent sorcerous tools.
As Singe and I climbed the stoop a sleepy-angry tittering broke out somewhere up under the eaves. Something as fast as a hummingbird dropped down and circled us several times too swiftly to be seen clearly.
My front door opened. Dean must’ve been alerted by the Dead Man. He stood there in his nightshirt, scowling, holding a lamp above his head, disapproving of birth, death, and most everything in between.
“Early night?” I asked. The nightshirt was for commentary only. It wasn’t yet time for him to retire. He doesn’t change until he’s ready to slide into bed. Unless he wants to make some point that will remain obscure to everyone but him.
He grunted and rewarded me with an even blacker scowl.
“What’s with the gang of pixies up there?” I expected their presence would keep us arguing like pixies for weeks.
“Ask the thing. He’s the one who decided to adopt them.”
Ah. Live and learn. And discover the real root of Dean’s bad temper. The Dead Man had done something to offend his sense of rectitude.
Dean was aggrieved further because I’d been all set to blame him. Because that’s the kind of thing he’s likely to do. Every time I turn around he’s trying to take in another stray.
This might require some untangling.
“I’ll talk to him,” I promised. I wasn’t really happy, either.
Living near pixies is like setting up housekeeping inside a colony of sparrows. The squabbling never stops. And this bunch was making themselves at home right above my bedroom window.
None of that would bother Old Bones. He’s dead. He doesn’t have to listen to the racket.
Darkly, I added, “Failing him seeing reason, I know where I can come up with a nest of bumblebees.” Bumblebees and the smallest of the little people were feuding before the appearance of the first men. If you credit the legends of the wee folk.
Dean growled something about, “Then how do we get rid of the bumblebees?”
He grows ever more pessimistic as he ages.
“One step at a time, brother. One step at a time. Right now we’ve got trouble on a grander scale. I lost the boy who came here looking for help today. In circumstances surpassing strange. Make some tea, slap together some sandwiches, bring everything in with His Nibs, and I’ll fill you in.”
The old man headed for the kitchen. I’d triggered his concern for the lost and the hopeless. Earlier he’d been ready to stuff Kip into a gunnysack with a couple boulders so the boy could have a close-up look at the lost treasures on the bottom of the river somewhere off the Landing.
Singe watched while I took the Goddamn Parrot to his perch in the small front room. The Dead Man had withdrawn his control and inhibiting influence. The feathered weasel was returning to normal. He muttered like a stevedore but his big interest at the moment was food, not obnoxious chatter meant to get his owner crucified. He let Singe stroke his feathers as long as she didn’t interfere with his dining.
Singe was pleased. Normally that jungle buzzard is less kind to her than he is to me. She looked up at me and tried to smile.
“Wish you wouldn’t do that.”
“Am I doing it wrong?”
“No. But you’re not people. Be content to be the brightest and best ratwoman who ever lived. Be true to yourself.” I felt like somebody’s dad, spouting clichés. Then, of course, I felt really awful because I was old enough to understand what the clichés were all about. Embarrassment followed that as I remembered the cocksure boys we’d been when we were getting showered with the stupid stuff that turned out to be Joe Everyman’s way of trying to pass along his accumulated wisdom.
She is young, Garrett. And she has only just escaped a state closely approximating slavery. She will need time and numerous opportunities to shore up her belief in herself.
Old Bones has a soft spot for Singe, too. Though he’d never admit that if it were suggested aloud. He’d never confess to any form of emotional vulnerability or sentimental weakness.
I kept thinking about old men and clichés. And I kept trying to avoid considering how often the Dean Man threw those things my way. Because I resented his advice almost as much as I’d resented advice from men of my father’s generation when I was fifteen. I guess neither the old men nor the young men ever learn, but they keep on trying.
Dean nearly beat us to the Dead Man’s room with the refreshments. I got a lamp going. Singe dragged in a special chair I’d had made that let her sit without having to worry about her troublesome tail. In moments she and I were hard at work. On the tea and sandwiches.
“Damn!” I woofed around a glob of bread and ham. “I didn’t realize how hungry I was. The effects of that knockout spell must be all the way worn off now.”
Singe grunted. She didn’t have time for anything else. Once she gulped down everything Dean didn’t nibble and I didn’t devour, she looked around like she hoped there was still a whole roast pig she’d overlooked. I knew a reinforced battalion of young women who’d gladly kill, and who’d certainly hate Singe, for her ability to eat and eat and never gain an inappropriate ounce.
There are no fat ratpeople.
The Dead Man had me tell my story first.
I have a knack for accurate recollection. I provided the details I believed were necessary for an understanding of events while the Dead Man observed those events as memories drifting across the surface of my mind. He asked only a handful of questions, waiting until I was finished talking to go to the first. He seemed particularly interested in even the most minute details of the silver elves’ sorceries.
At first blush I would have to agree with Mr. Dotes’ assessment that those people are not elves, Garrett. Perhaps they belong to a single family of unusual breeding. A mixture of human and kef sidhe sounds plausible, considering their descriptions. Though their apparel seems most unusual. Let us examine the materials you managed to recover at your last contact site. All three of you, please. So that I may have the benefit of three divergent viewpoints and minds and sets of eyes.
Once scattered atop the little table that is one of the few pieces of furniture in the Dead Man’s room my plunder did not appear especially exciting. Because he was able to see the inside of my head, anyway, I admitted, “It seems to be mostly trash.”
Having contemplated the take through our several viewpoints, Old Bones responded, You are correct, Garrett. The silver people did abandon what they considered to be waste.
How did he know?
Through exactly the same process you used to come to that identical conclusion, supplemented by experience and unlimited intellect. It is a pity, however, that neither of you can recall the exact circumstances of the kidnappers’ final escape.
“A huge pity,” I grumped. My headache remained on duty, totally devoted. Singe, though smitten harder at the time, had recovered completely already.
The Dead Man must’ve been more interested in events than he let on. When I started feeling sorry for myself and lusting after a beer he interfered with nature. He reached inside my head and did something that made the pain fade away. Some. Enough. Though a reminder remained in the background, eager to come back.
What can we tell from the kidnappers’ trash? the Dead Man asked.
I couldn’t tell a thing other than that they were no more fastidious than any other Karentine subject.
Singe sniffed each item yet again before carefully showing us her best imitation human shrug. From its look she’d practiced a lot. Ratpeople don’t move like that normally.
She said, “This all smells very cold. Very sterile. There is no soul in it. There is no magic.”
That was an interesting observation, considering what we’d seen and suffered. But I kept my thoughts to myself. Singe needed her confidence. And for all I really knew, she was right on the mark.
She might be indeed, Garrett.
I scowled his way. He was not supposed to eavesdrop on the inside of my head when I wasn’t reporting.
I am not prying into your mind. I just know how you think. I believe that it is now time to interview Mr. Bic Gonlit. His place in all this appears to be anomalous. Though I do have several hypotheses about what could be transpiring. His testimony should tell me which of those I can reasonably discard.
“Why do I get the feeling that I’m going to do all the work, inviting him in?”
Perhaps because you are irrationally pessimistic. Your part will require very little work, Garrett. I will be the one forced to stretch himself to his limits after you have invested just a few minutes in rounding him up and bringing him here. Be sure you take your convincing stick.
“Never leave home without one.” That’s my partner. Like some kind of priest or professor, his vegetating is hard and honorable work. All my sweat and agony is barely worth a mention because what I do involves occasionally engaging a muscle.