I did my best to get my money’s worth out of Puddle’s keg while Morley and I dissected cabbages and kings and butterflies and the old days that never were that good—though I’d had me a moment now and then. We solved the ills of the world but decided there was nobody in authority with sense enough to implement our program. We were disinclined to take on the job ourselves.
Women proved a topic of brief duration. Morley’s recent luck undershone my own. It was too much to take, seeing that great blob Puddle tipped back in his chair, thumbs hooked in his belt, grinning smugly in regard to his own endeavors.
The rain continued relentless. At last I had to face facts. I was going to get wet again. I was going to get a lot wet if Dean failed to respond to my pounding and whooping at the door. With set jaw and scant optimism I took my leave of Morley and his establishment. Dotes looked as smug as his man. He was home already.
I hunched my chin down against my chest and wished I’d had the sense to wear a hat. I wear one so seldom it doesn’t occur to me to top myself off when that would be wise. Right away rain started sneaking down the back of my neck.
I paused where we’d rescued Chodo’s mysterious daughter from her more mysterious assailants. There wasn’t much light. The rain had swept away most of the evidence. I poked around and was on the verge of deciding half had been my imagination before I found one big bedraggled butterfly. I salvaged the cadaver and carried it as carefully as I could, cradled in my left palm.
My place is an old red brick house in a once-prosperous stretch of Macunado Street, near Wizard’s Reach. The middle-class types have all abandoned ship. Most of the neighboring places have been subdivided and rented to families with herds of kids. Usually when I approach my house I pause to inspect it and reflect on the good fortune that let me survive the case that paid me enough to buy it. But cold rain down the back of the neck has a way of sapping nostalgia.
I scampered up the steps and gave the secret knock, bam-bam-bam, as hard as I could while bellowing, “Open up, Dean! I’m going to drown out here.” A big flash of lightning. Thunder rattled my teeth in their sockets. The sky lords hadn’t been feuding before, just tuning up for another Great Flood. Thunder and lightning suggested they were about to get serious. I pounded and yelled some more. The stoop isn’t protected from the weather.
Maybe my ears were still ringing. I thought I heard something like a kitten crying inside. I knew it couldn’t be a cat. I’d given Dean the word about his strays. He wouldn’t lapse.
I heard shuffling and whispering inside. I did some more yelling. “Open this damned door, Dean. It’s cold out here.” I didn’t threaten. Mom Garrett didn’t raise no kids dumb enough to lay threats on somebody who could just go back to bed and leave me singing in the rain.
The door creaked open after a symphony of curses and clanking bolts and rattling chains. Old Dean stood there eyeing me from beneath drooping lids. He looked about two hundred right then. He is around seventy. And real spry for a guy his age.
If he wasn’t going to get out of the way I was going to walk over him. I started moving. He slid aside. I told him, “The cat goes as soon as the rain stops.” I tried to sound like it was him or the kitten.
He started rattling bolts and chains. I stopped. All that hadn’t been there before. “What’s all the hardware?”
“I don’t feel comfortable living somewhere where all there is is one or two latches to keep the thieves out.”
We needed to have us a talk about assuming and presuming. I knew damned well he didn’t buy that hardware out of his own pocket. But now wasn’t the time. I wasn’t at my best.
“What’s that you’ve got?”
I’d forgotten the butterfly. “Drowned butterfly.” I took it into my office, a shoe box of a room behind the last door to your left heading back to the kitchen. Dean hobbled after me, bringing a candle. He has decrepitude down to an art. It’s amazing how incapacitated he gets when he has a scam running.
I used his candle to light a lamp. “Go back to bed.”
He glanced at the closed door of the small front room, a door we shut only when there’s somebody or something in there we don’t want seen. Something was scratching its other side. Dean said, “I’m wide-awake now. I might as well get some work done.” He didn’t look wideawake. “You plan to be up long?”
“No. I’m just going to study this bug, then kiss Eleanor good night.” Eleanor was a beautiful, sad woman who lived once upon a time. Her portrait hangs behind my desk. I go on like we’re into a relationship. That drives Dean buggy.
I have to balance the scale somehow.
I settled into my worn leather chair. Like everything else around my place, including the house, it was secondhand. It was just getting adjusted to a new butt. Just getting comfortable, I pushed my accounts aside, spread the butterfly on my desk.
Dean waited in the doorway till he saw I wouldn’t react to the accounts being out. Then he huffed off to the kitchen.
I popped a quick peek at the last entry, made a face. That didn’t look good. But go to work? Gah! Sufficient unto the day the evil thereof.
Meantime, there was this raggedy old green butterfly. It could’ve been a beauty before, but now its wings were cracked and chipped and split, bent and washed out. A disaster. I suffered a moment of déjà vu.
I’d seen its cousins in the islands while I was doing my five years in the Royal Marines. There’re a lot in the swamps down there. There’s every kind of bug the gods ever imagined, except maybe arctic roaches. Maybe creation was handled by a heavenly committee. In areas where departmental turfs overlapped, the divine functionaries went to competing. And they all for sure dumped their bug-production overruns in those tropical swamps.
But the heck with the bad old days. I’m all growed-up now. What I had to ask was, what was I doing with the flutterbug in the first place?
I was definitely, for sure, guaranteed, not even a little bit interested in anything involving dried-up old geezers with stomachs so sour they belched up butterflies. I’d done my good deed for the decade. I’d rescued the maiden fair. It was time to get on with things dearer my heart, like hustling Dean’s latest fuzzball charity out my back door.
I swept the bug cadaver into the trash bucket, leaned back, started thinking how nice it would be to put myself away in my nice soft bed.