When it rains and the wind blows, it gets real dark in TunFaire. Streetlamps won’t stay lighted, though those lamps exist only in neighborhoods like the Hill and the Tenderloin, where the wraths of our lords temporal and lords criminal encourage thieves and vandals to practice their crafts elsewhere. Tonight the Hill was darker than a priest’s secret heart. I didn’t like it. Given my choice, I want to see trouble coming.
Morley was as excited as a kid planning to tumble an outhouse. I asked, “What’s your thinking on this?” I looked around nervously. We’d approached Lady Hamilton’s place unchallenged, which made me just that much more anxious.
I don’t believe in good luck. I do believe in cumulative misfortune, in bad luck just lying back piling up interest till it dumps on you in one big load.
“We climb over the wall, see if the coach is there.”
“You could give Glory Mooncalled lessons in innovative tactics.” I didn’t like his idea. We could get ourselves arrested. We could get ourselves hurt. We could get ourselves fatally unhealthy. The private guards on the Hill are a lot less inhibited than their public-payroll counterparts.
“Don’t get all worked up, Garrett. Won’t be anything to it.”
“That’s what you said the time you conned me into helping deliver that vampire to the old kingpin.”
“That time you didn’t know what you were doing.”
True. But where would he get the idea I knew what I was doing now? “You’re too optimistic to live.”
“Comes of living right.”
“Comes of eating horse fodder till you have the sense of a mule.”
“You could do with more horse fodder yourself, Garrett. Meat is filled with the juices of things that died terrified. They make you timid yourself.”
“I have to admit I never heard anybody call a cabbage a coward.”
“There they go. All clear.”
There who go? Were we hanging around soaking because he’d seen someone? Why didn’t he tell me these things?
He did have better night vision. One of the advantages of his elvish blood. The disadvantages, of course, started with a conviction of personal immortality. It isn’t true, what you hear about elves being immortal. They just think they are. Only an arrow through the heart will talk them out of the idea.
Morley took off toward the Hamilton place. I followed, watching everywhere but where I was going. I heard a sound, looked for its source as I jumped ten feet high, walked right into the Hamilton wall.
“You must have been some Marine,” Morley grumbled, and continued muttering about no wonder Karenta couldn’t win in the Cantard if I represented the kingdom’s best and brightest.
“Probably a hundred thousand guys down there would be happy to let you show them how to do it.” Morley wasn’t a veteran. Breeds don’t have to go. The nonhuman peoples all have treaties exempting people up to one-eighth blood. The nonhumans you see in the Cantard are natives or mercenaries, and usually both. And agents of Glory Mooncalled besides. Except for the vampires and werewolves and unicorn packs, who are out to get everybody.
The Cantard is a lot of fun.
Morley squatted, cupped his hands. “I’ll give you a boost.” The wall was nine feet high.
“You’re lighter.” I could toss him right over.
“That’s why you go first. I can climb up there without help.”
A point. Not one that fired me up to go first, but a point. This business was more in his line than mine. He wouldn’t buy my plan which was to go pound on the front gate and ask to see the deadly coach. That was too prosaic for his sense of adventure.
I shrugged, stepped into his cupped hands, heaved my reluctant bones upward, grabbed the top of the wall in expectation of getting my fingers ripped to hamburger by broken glass. Broken glass is an old trick for discouraging uninvited company.
Oh, my. Now I was really disheartened. There was no broken glass. I pulled my chin up level with the top, peeked. Where was the trap? They had to have something really special planned if they didn’t use broken glass.
Morley whacked me on the sole. “Better move your ass, Garrett. They’re coming back.”
I didn’t know who “they” were but I heard their footsteps. I took a poll. Opinion was unanimous. I didn’t want to find out who they were. Up and over I went. I landed in a small garden, gently, failing even to turn an ankle. Morley landed beside me. I said, “This’s too easy.”
“Come on, Garrett. What do you want? You have a closed house here. Who’s going to guard that?”
“Exactly what I want to know.”
“You ever begin to sound optimistic, I’m going to flee the country. Come on. Sooner we do it, the sooner you’re out of here.”
I grunted agreement. “Looks like the coach house there.” I don’t like sneaking, much. I still thought we should have tried the front way.
Morley scooted to a door in the side of the coach house. I let him lead. I noted how carefully he moved, for all he did so quickly. Whatever he said, he wasn’t taking chances.
In his line you didn’t get old taking anything for granted. My line either, for that matter.
Neither of us had brought a lantern. You do dumb things when you rush. Still, there was light enough leaking from nearby homes to let Morley see a little. He told me, “Somebody was here before us. They jimmied the lock.” He tried the door. It opened.
I looked over his shoulder. It was blacker than the inside of a buzzard’s belly in there, and about as inviting. Something made noises and shuffled around. Something breathed. Something a lot bigger than me. Always a courteous kind of guy, I offered, “After you, sir.”
Morley wasn’t that sure he was immortal. “We need a light.”
“Now he notices. This the kind of planning you re going to do when you take over in the Cantard?”
“I’ll be back in five minutes.” He vanished before I could argue.