THE REAL THRILL
by James Blish
(author of "Phoenix Planet," "Callistan Cabal," etc.)



ONE OF THE FEW abilities time had left Martin Burrowes was that of being bored, 
and he was taking advantage of it to the fullest extent. The incessant, mindless 
windjamming of the suspiciously blonde girl sounded on beside him and down the 
cold darkness of the empty street, but he was learning to say "Yes," "You're 
quite right, m'love,'' automatically and without interrupting his own stream of 
thought.
Those thoughts were not particularly happy ones. At the age of 47 Burrowes was 
hardly a middle-aged man. In these days normal life expectancy exceeded a 
century, and the middle-age level had been moved up to the vicinity of 
fifty-five. No, Burrowes had certainly not passed his prime.
But time and technology had betrayed him. Fifteen years ago Martin Burr owes had 
known all there was to know about rocket engines, and had served as technical 
adviser to the government, the IP, and a dozen private spaceship yards. 
Then--the gravity impellor, geotrons, atomic power--and rocket technicians were 
suddenly as useless in the scheme of things as blacksmiths. "Sorry, Mr. 
Burrowes." "I'm afraid we have little use for rocket engineering these days, 
sir." "We realize that a man of your ability--"
"We'll call you immediately if anything comes up--"
And now the lunar colonies had revolted; there was war, and industries of all 
kinds were booming, and there was nothing for Martin Burrowes to do. Even the 
night clubs and similar places of nonconstructive amusement were folding rapidly 
in the serious intensity of the warfever. All the young men and the adaptable 
older ones were in the IP or the yards, and the ships were in space, fighting or 
patrolling. Left behind were the crocks which ran on rocket power, and the human 
crocks who serviced rockets.
The blonde tugged insistently on his aim.
"Martin," she said. "Look. Let's go in there, huh?"
He followed her over-manicured finger to a large sign overlooking the dark 
street.
STOP
Here and see the former
Interplanetary
POLICE CRUISER
C2-77
Now open to the public.
Admission 50cents
A Real Thrill
"That's right," he said, half to himself. "The old IP drydock was down here 
once."
"Let's go in," she said. "Won't it be fun?"
There might be a melancholy pleasure in seeing the inside of one of the old 
boats again. Abandoned cruiser, abandoned technician-- a fitting juxtaposition.
"Okay," he agreed, and she tugged him toward the sign.
IF THE FENCED-OFF area had ever been a dry-dock, it showed little sign of it 
now. Most of the heavy machinery had been moved to other quarters and what had 
been left for useless had rusted into unrecognizable lumps of scrap, amorphous, 
contorted giants in the darkness. The ship itself lay on hydraulic risers, the 
kind they had used to repair and scrape the underjets and a rickety gangplank, 
lit yellowly by one dismal bare bulb, ran up to the airlock. The berylliumalloy 
hull was pitted and burned in a hundred places--sightseers would think them ray 
scars, but Burrowes recognized them as the ordinary marks of ten times a hundred 
passages through the atmosphere. He stamped on the boards and a flight 
lieutenant a little past his own age appeared from the dark interior, blinking 
sleepily.
"You're the first all day,' he said, taking the money. "Come in." He fumbled in 
the blackness and found a switch, and the corridors lit abruptIy. Bare bulbs 
again--evidently the C2-77 antedated the general installation of gas-glow tubes.
"This passage," the officer began in a bored voice, "is the core of the ship, 
running lengthwise from tubes to control-room. The gravity plates, which act 
similarly to the modern geotron-stasis, are on the hull, so that the down 
direction in flight is always away from the center--"
"I know," Burrowes interrupted. "I used to service these things. Designed the 
engines for this type."
"That so?" said the officer, not much interested. "Well, I suppose there's 
always a job for technies. Me, I have to hang around this tub and take people 
through, and everybody else gets on the geotronic ships and gets some 
excitement."
"Why isn't this one fightin'?" the girl wanted to know.
"Lord," said the officer indulgently. "This thing hasn't seen active service 
since the Nationalist Coup. Against the Lunies it'd be practically helpless. 
Those fellows have as good a navy as we have--they ought to--the lunar colonies 
had a branch of the terrestrial service right in their hands when the rebellion 
came." He slammed a bulkhead back viciously.
"This is the control room."
"Goodness," said the girl. It's upside down."
"It wouldn't be in space-- remember, out is down in flight."
Burrowes peered around interestedly, the older days coming back to him as he 
marked the condition of the apparatus, but the things that attracted him didn't 
appeal to the girl.
"Goodness," she said again. "What a lot of clock-faces."
"All necessary," the officer nodded, and mistaking the comment for a question, 
pointed to them one by one. "Speed in MPS, acceleration in G's, fuel, oxygen, 
tube heat, surface temperature, outside and inside atmospheric pressure, gravity 
altimeter, circuit load indicators, detectors of various kinds--"
"Uh-huh," said the girl.
"Main rocket valves, steering rockets, braking rockets," the officer went on 
relentlessly. "Search beam wheel and switch, starter, screen controls, lights, 
silencers, wings, wing brakes, generators, landing gear. Compartment release 
directly above you--"
"Rocket, hold, deck, control," Martin recited without looking, and the bored 
lieutenant looked at him in surprise. "Yeah, that's right. Waste weight, that 
release apparatus. Then there's the airlock, emergency lock, autopilot, air, gun 
controls--"
"Uh-huh," said the girl. "Let's see somethin' else."
The officer shrugged and opened another door.
"Officer's quarters ?" asked Burrowes.
"Yep. My little home."
There was little to see but three bunks and a desk upon which lay some dusty 
books and scattered, yellowed papers. The girl grunted and made for the door, 
but Burrowes was attracted by the books. He picked them up one by one.
"See this," he said, holding up one marked Jet Propulsion Engines: Types and 
Maintenance. "I wrote this one."
"Yeah?" The officer was more interested. "The captain had a lot of books in here 
in the days before I took over. He had ambitions for being transferred to a 
grav-boat, and he studied like fury. See--" He picked up several of the books. 
"Mechanics of Achronic Fields. Geotron Operation and Repair. The Stasis Effect. 
No use for those on a rocket ship."
"True enough," Martin agreed, while the girl squirmed impatienty. "The rest is 
ordinary enough, though."
"Oh, the usual math tables, Barclay's Journal, Government orbits, takeoSs, 
landings, the IP Yearbook of Hazards to Navigation and a million of the monthly 
supplements to it--every ship carries those, gravboats included."
"Mar-tin," whined the girl. "Let's see somethin' else."
HE SIGHED and followed the offcer out. He shouldn't have come in here. It made 
him too conscious of the days which should properly be forgotten. The great 
metal shell seemed empty and dead. So far he had seen no one else on board 
except the three of them.
"No crew?"
"Skeleton," the officer said over his shoulder. "Don't need many to fly this 
boat, and it isn't going to be flown, anyhow. A few of the boys are down in the 
engine compartment playing cards; my engineer is out on one of his periodic 
binges. I don't blame him," he added bitterly.
They went down the central core to the end of the passage, where another metal 
door admitted them to a balcony overlooking the engineroom. Below, four burly 
toughs sat around a circle on the floor, each with a pile of matches before him. 
Burrowes chuckled slightly to himself as he watched the girl pat her hair and 
turn on her archest smile. He was more than conscious of his own rather flabby 
construction, the poor condition into which he had allowed himself to slip with 
the onset of despair and boredom.
The tube-men barely glanced at them, however, before going on with their game. 
Evidently they were used to sight-seers, and had little respect for them. 
Burrowes ran his eyes over the banks of tubes. They had seen heavy use at one 
time; they were blue with heat-stain. He pointed.
"If you don't get number two cleaned out pretty soon you'll have 
a back-blast."
The officer shrugged. "What's the difference? This boat won't see space again. 
Let the stuff rot. The government's just using it to collect a little petty cash 
before they melt it up for new ships." A red light began to wink on and off by 
the door. "Excuse me a minute," he said. "Call coming in. Be right back." He 
turned and ran back down the corridor.
The girl hung on Burrowes' arm.
"Martin," she said, "let's look around for ourselves, huh? Just a little look 
around. I'll bet there's a lot of places he hasn't shown us."
Burrowes shook his head. "I don't think we'd better. We might get into trouble. 
This is still a government ship, you know, and they won't be easy on snoopers."
"Please. Aw, come on, baby--"
"No," he snapped, irritated by the "baby." She let go of his arm.
"Well, I don't care, if you're goin' to be an old spoil-sport--" and she started 
down a side corridor by herself.
"Hey," he growled, stepping after her. She giggled and ran.
"Come back here, you little witch!" he yelled, but by this time she had vanished 
around a corner. He stopped, suddenly realizing how quickly he got out of breath 
these days. Oh, well, let her go. If she got into trouble he'd let her worry her 
own way out of it.
Returning, he nearly bumped into the officer, who was running back down the 
core. "Oh," said the latter excitedly. "Oh, it's you. Listen, you and your 
friend'll have to get off. GHQ called--attack on the north side of the 
city--we're called in."
"What! You're going to take this tub into the air again?"
"Yeah, yeah--most of the fleet's in a fight over Tycho City--they're hard up for 
ships, say this may be a decisive battle--where's my rummy engineer?" and he 
started for the airlock. A light burst in Burrowes' brain, and he grabbed the 
man's arm.
"Listen. It'll take you valuable time to find your engineer--he might be in any 
one of fifty dives around this part of town. How about letting me take his 
place?"
"You're battier'n an asteroid orbit."
"No, listen, I know a lot about rockets--I was an expert, remember. And I can 
still manage the technical end."
The older man scratched his head. "Well, we've got a pick-up crew as it 
is--okay. Come on. It may be sholt but it'll still be action."
In the tube room the men had apparently gotten the news by communicator from the 
bridge, for there was a ferocious racket of old jets being tuned. Somebody was 
pounding madly on a breech-valve with a hammer. Martin winced and pounded down 
the stairs.
"Hey, you," he hollered over the din, grabbing the man. "Don't you know any 
better'n that ?" He snatched a U-wrench and the offending valve opened with a 
scream of protest. SHow far? 63? All right. If you snap those carbopoints inside 
we'll blow higher than a kite."
"Who the hell are you?" the tubemarl growled.
"New engineer," the flight lieutenant's voice cut in. "Get 'em started, boys. 
We're going to see some fighting." He ran back up the stairs. Martill had an 
idea he had forgotten something, but in the excitement and sudden din he could 
not remember what it was. He moved rapidly down the banks, correcting mistakes 
in adjustment, checking, helping when a recalcitrant old tube refused to yield 
to persuasion. This was his first experience with actual field-work; before he 
had been a mere paperand-drydock man. It was a real thrill.
THE WARNING BELL rang, and he went back on the platform to watch the dials, 
which duplicated those in the control room. There was even a telescreen whose 
eyes opened on the forward viewplate, so that the engineer could follow the 
maneuvering. These old boats had been pretty good in their time, at that. A tube 
began to sputter and he plunged back down to adjust the mixture.
"Hey, bud, take it easy," the tubeman in charge of that section protested. "I 
can watch it. You don't have to be the whole damn black gang."
Martin returned to his platform "Watch your mixtures!" he howled. Then he clung 
to the railing as the commander flung the ship eagerly upward.
The shock of take-off knocked all the breath from him. He had not known what to 
expect, for despite many years of lab training, he had never flown in a 
rocket-powered ship any farther than thirty miles For a moment he sat stupidly 
on the platform. Then from somewhere an insistent, wicked pounding came to his 
ears, and he shook himself back to consciousness. The banks were glowing dull 
red now with the over rapid firing after so many years of inaction, but he 
couldn't see anything radically wrong. The pounding was coming from that 
half-clogged number two tube. Well, if the lieutenant took it easy there'd be 
little trouble there.
He ran his eye over the dials. The lieutenant was taking little account of 
safety; but then, they would probably come to grief against the first Lunar ship 
they met, anyhow. Maybe they would be too late as it was. In the screen he could 
see the partly darkened city and a red flaring on the horizon. The clock grinned 
at him and he was astonished to see how long they had been traveling. Four 
minutes. It hadn't seemed like that many seconds. Things moved fast these days, 
even time. He tried to calm his breathing, but about his rapid heart he could do 
nothing. Why had he let himself get into such poor physical condition?
There was another jerk of acceleration and the pounding in number two became a 
continuous rattle, like a machine gun. The engine-room was almost insufferably 
hot, and the tube-men were stripped to the waist. The communicator buzzed and 
Burrowes put on the phones.
"We're coming up on it from behind," said the lieutenant's voice. "There's a big 
Ligget-type battleplane above it that seems to be directing the Lunies, and I 
don't think they've seen us. Can we stand more speed ?"
Burrowes narrowed his eyes. "A little," he said into- the mike. "Feed it slow, 
or they']l be picking scraps of us up in Florida."
The C2-77 bounced upward like a nudged frog and the number two began to howl. 
The tube-men looked nervously at it and then up at Burrowes. They were ok enough 
hands to recognize the signs and the need of expert advice.
And Burrowes knew suddenly that a paper-man couldn't give such advice properly. 
If that tube backblasted now--
As if to spur him, the howling rose to a scream. He made a quick decision.
"Clear out," he ordered at the top of his voice. "I'll get it." If it did blow, 
that way it would take only one man instead of five. He rattled down the stairs, 
and the black gang, frightened now, headed for the bulkhead as fast as possible.
The screaming of the overloaded, defective tube was a terrifying thing. It 
seemed to fill the whole universe. He took the U-wrench in a shaking hand, and 
in a moment the note died away to a low, ominous mutter. He tried to get that 
out, but an adjustment just a fraction further in the other direction brought 
the howl in again. He hastily returned the valves to the final position. There 
were several painful burns on his hands where he had inadvertently touched the 
white-hot breech, and his heart was making more noise than the jet. Another 
farther down the bank began to whisper, and when he ran to correct it the number 
two lifted its voice a little higher.
THEN, SUDDENLY, the girl was behind him, screaming.
"Get me out of here," she yelled, her face hard. "Get me out, do you hear?"
He grinned mercilessly. "Too late, little explorer. We're in the air."
"I don't give a damn where we are. You got me into this and you can get me out."
The number two, its first polite request ignored, demanded attention more 
loudly. The earphones buzzed. "We're above them," the lieutenant said. "All 
okay?"
"All wrong," Burrowes told him grimly, pushing away the furious girl. "Listen. 
That number two jet is going to either burst or backblast any minute. Fall free 
past your Luny and drop the engine compartment on him and parachute the rest of 
the way."
"The hell ! How about you guys--?"
"The gang's out. There's only me, and I'm satisfied. Make it quick. When the 
tube goes, the gang and you will go too, besides me."
There was a brief silence, just a second, but age-long. Burrow es' reasoning was 
inexorable and according to the IP code--one life for many--and he knew it.
"All right," said the lieutenant's voice, strangely altered. "I'll remember you 
if I get out."
"Thanks, and good luck," Burrowes said, and broke connection. "Now, you," he 
snapped, and, grabbing the girl, he propelled her toward the bulkhead, clenching 
his teeth doggedly as she kicked him repeatedly. "Fresh!" she screamed at him, 
and the double doors of the engine room slammed in her face. The floor shifted 
under him, and he recognized the feel of a slanting fall. He knew what would 
happen--the C2-77 would drive for the nose of the Luny, clearing it as it was 
relieved of the weight of the engine compartment, and then drop on a 'chute. 
Behind him number two began to scream again, and he ran to it, swearing.
"If you'll shut your trap for three seconds," he told it, plying the U-wrench 
frantically. There was a lurch and a snapping sound, and again the floor 
shifted. The compartment had been cut loose--
That last second, Martin Burrowes felt the burden of uselessness at last lifted 
completely from his shoulders. At the count of three, he smashed in the back of 
the valve--
THE GIRL pressed her nose to a tiny port and watched the fused masses of metal 
tumble past her together, flaring. She did not understand what had happened, but 
she knew that this had been more of a real thrill than the battered sign had 
promised. She stood by the engine room door with her hands on her hips. She was 
going to give Martin Burrowes a piece of her mind when -he came out.
On the other side of the door the air shrieked dismally.