Shattered Hart

Ella Fox

ISBN: 9781301012084

Copyright ELLA FOX 2012

Published at SMASHWORDS

Copyright Ella Fox 2012

This Ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This Ebook may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Amazon and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Ella Fox holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.

This book is dedicated to everyone who ever took a chance.  It’s a fine thing!

Also, a very special thanks to all of the fans of “Broken Hart” who took the time to email, tweet, blog and contact me on goodreads to tell me how much they enjoyed the story.  You are the reason that “Shattered Hart” came to life, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  For every action there is a reaction, and what you all put out into the world pushed me forward and kept me going.  There really aren’t words to express my thanks properly, so I can only hope that you all know that you’ve been a HUGE motivator for me.

Last, but not least, this book is dedicated to a fellow writer.  She’s the person who made me what I am today, and I wouldn’t be able to string two words together if it weren’t for her.

Prologue

Brooke changed everything.

Before I met her, my inner circle consisted of my family. No outsiders allowed.

From a very early age, I learned that the only way to avoid pain was to erect an emotional wall to keep people out.

For twenty-five years, I stayed hidden behind that wall.  No one was ever able to approach the perimeter… and then I met Brooke.

One minute I was safely behind my wall, just as I always had been. The next thing I knew, she had somehow vaulted over and was standing right next to me.  She never even set off the alarm system.  A lifetime of keeping people away and setting up minefields to deter anyone who tried to get close was decimated by Brooke in seconds.

I used to roll my eyes or scoff at terms like, "love at first sight," or "the one," and I was especially brutal about the most ridiculous statement of them all, "soul mate."

I don't roll my eyes anymore.  Now I know it's not some fairytale.  Things like that actually happen.

All I wanted was for Brooke to be happy, for her to have someone in her life that deserved her.  I thought I was making the right decisions.

I was wrong.

I fucked up, and I fucked up badly.  The only girl I will ever love can't even look at me anymore, and I'm lost without her.

CHAPTER ONE

It’s a surprise that my brother is bringing his new executive assistant and her sister to a family dinner.  I’ve been in Denver for the last nine weeks finishing one of our building projects, so I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting his assistant face to face yet, but this is weird. Dante is behaving out of character by including her in a family night.

It’s unlike my brother to open his life to outsiders.  Actually, he’s never done something like this.  Introducing us to the new assistant is one thing.  I’ll be working with her anyway, so that was inevitable.  But Dante including the assistant’s sister and bringing them to a family dinner is a complete surprise.

Dante’s last assistant, Helen, had been with him for three years.  They got along swell, and she is a lovely woman, but I never once saw her outside of work, much less at a family dinner.  I only knew that Helen had siblings because of the pictures on her desk.  I certainly never met them, and Dante had never tried to bring them out with our family.

Dante talks about his new assistant, Sabrina, like she’s the bee’s knees.  If I didn’t know, with absolute certainty, that my brother would never allow himself to fall in love… I’d be concerned.  The type of women that he associates with aren’t interested in relationships, and any woman who wanted more than that wouldn’t be someone that Dante would spend time with.  It’s safer to keep those women far away.

My thoughts are interrupted by the arrival of my twin sisters, Dominique and Delilah.  Standing from the table, I hug and kiss them both before we take our seats. After sitting down, the three of us spend the next few minutes talking about their college classes and how things are going.

My sisters are two of the most prominent people in my life.  Every significant decision I’ve made since the day they were born was made with them in mind. Dante and I have always put our sisters first, both of us forced to make adult decisions long before we were even teenagers.

Our parents were abusive drug addled assholes, and their bullshit left a dark mark on my brother and me.  He and I have worked hard to make sure that our parent’s crazy didn’t leave the same mark on the girls.

I’ve always known that I will never get married, so helping to raise my sisters is as close as I will ever come to parenting.  The fact that they’ve turned out normal and well-adjusted is my finest achievement.

Our catch up time comes to a halt when my best friend, Spencer Cross, shows up.  Taking his seat at the table, he wastes no time verbalizing what I’ve been thinking.

“Raise your hand if you’re shocked as hell that Dante is bringing the assistant and her sister to family dinner.”

I nod my head in agreement, but the girls are having none of it.  Delilah jumps in first.  “Spence, you are such a dick sometimes.  The fact that he’s bringing them both tells me that he’s made a real friend, and a female one at that.  Some men are actually able to grow up and stop fucking everything that walks you know.  You might want to try it sometime, slick.”

Dominique nods in agreement.  “Exactly!  It’s about time Dante had a relationship with a woman that isn’t either sex for sport or purely professional.  It’s as if he’s afraid to get close to women.  This could be a step in the right direction.  Maybe now that he’s getting comfortable enough to have a friend that is a woman, he will finally find someone and start dating.  Stranger things have happened.”

I shake my head.  “No, stranger things have not happened.  Dante will never settle down.  He’s never going to get a girlfriend, and he sure as shit isn’t going to get married.  You both know that, and you also know that it makes him mental when you girls tell him he should find someone.  It isn’t in the cards for either of us, and it isn’t for Spencer, either.  This is who we are and how we live our lives, so let’s just be happy that he’s happy with his life.  You two are the ones that are going to get out there someday and find love.  The three of us will be old bachelors who love spoiling your kids rotten.”

No one answers that.  Instead, Spencer and the girls stand, which alerts me to the fact that Dante has arrived.  Rising, I turn to face my brother and his guests.

The first thing I notice is the fact that the new executive assistant, Sabrina Tyler, is stunning.  As I shake her hand, I briefly consider having a run at her.  Unfortunately, the reality is that it would be problematic to continue to see a woman after I’ve slept with her.  I’ve got a three fuck maximum, and almost no one makes it that far.  I’m happier with one and done.

My brother seems to know that I’m thinking about how hot Sabrina is, because he glares at me and shakes his head sharply.  Clearly, the lovely Ms. Tyler is not on the menu.

He moves the introductions along to Sabrina’s sister.  Turning her way, I feel my heart skip a few beats.  She’s positively gorgeous.  Her hair is long and chestnut in color, her eyes a rich hazel, legs for days, a curvaceous body and a golden tan.  Talk about sex on legs.

This girl is a playboy centerfold come to life, and I mean the best centerfolds; the ones before plastic surgery, implants and starvation.  Lush, ripe and exquisite, she is a sight to behold.

“Damien, this is Sabrina’s younger sister, Brooke Tyler.  Brooke, this is my brother Damien.  He also works with us at Hart.”

I see dozens of beautiful women every single day, and I’m all but impervious to beauty. I see things in a very cynical way, and I know it.  Outside of my family, emotion has nothing to do with how I live my life.  I fuck, and that’s that.  But this girl makes an impression. I don’t know what it is that makes her so different, but she is.  I’m captivated by her.

When she raises her eyes to mine and smiles as she takes my hand, I feel like I’ve just been kicked in the chest.  Her voice is as perfect as the rest of her.

“Hello Damien.  It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

I struggle to remain unaffected, and fail miserably.  With great effort, I see the introduction through before taking my seat at the table, relieved that there is a table cloth to conceal my growing erection.

It takes everything I have not to groan when Dante pulls the chair out next to me and motions for Brooke to sit down.  Turning to me, she smiles.  My erection swells uncomfortably as her scent works its way in to my nostrils.  No overbearing perfume for this girl.  She smells light and delicious. Like raspberries, I think.

My sisters start talking to Brooke, and she turns to give them her attention.  It should be a relief that she isn’t looking at me anymore, but it isn’t.  I want her to be focused on me.  What the hell is wrong with me tonight?  No matter who else I talk to at the table, it’s Brooke who has my full attention.  I’m aware of every move, every gesture and every laugh.

It turns out that Brooke and my sisters all attend UCLA, so they quickly start trying to figure out if they know any of the same people.  Listening to their conversation, I find out that Brooke is a few weeks away from being twenty-two and is currently single.

Christ, twenty-one.  She’s almost the same age as my sisters - far too young for me.  I’m twenty-five, too old to be looking at a girl who’s still in college.  Mentally castigating myself for even going down this road, I force myself to join the conversation and start behaving like I normally would, jokes and all.

It’s a relief that dinner turns out to be fun.  My sisters are clearly taken with Brooke, and I can see a friendship could be forming.  The rest of us joke and tease, just like always.  I’m bummed when dinner ends.  Spending time with my family is always a highlight of my week.  Sabrina and Brooke fit in extremely well, which is a surprise.

Even as bummed as I am that dinner is over, I’m relieved that I won’t be seeing Brooke again anytime soon.  It’s not as though we will have occasion to run in to each other often.  Works for me, because I feel a pull toward her that isn’t something I want to pursue.  Her goodness, purity and compassion, roll off of her in waves.

In other words, Brooke is the antithesis of the women I choose.

Brooke is the last person I say goodbye to, and I joke to her that my family must seem downright nuts since we’re loud and rambunctious, always joking around and teasing each other.

Smiling, she shakes her head at me.  “If anything, it made me feel remarkably light for the first time in forever.  My sister and I lost our parents last year.  The loving and fun dynamic reminds me of how our family was when they were alive.  It’s just Rina and I now.  We’re extremely close, but with no family left, it’s different.  I’ve missed this.”

Brooke says all of this in the most straight forward way, no artifice or attempt for sympathy, but my heart constricts uncomfortably in my chest.  The only thing I’ve ever had that I could rely on is this family that my brother, Spencer and I held together by our teeth.  If it were suddenly gone, I’d never recover. The idea that she’s in pain is oddly uncomfortable.  There really aren’t words, but I have to say something.

“I’m so sorry Brooke, I didn’t know. It must be awful to have lost such excellent parents. I’m sure they would be tremendously proud of you both.  It’s clear to see that you’re both amazing.”

Taking my hand, she smiles up at me as my brain struggles to process her perfection.

“What a lovely thing to say.  Thank you Damien.”

Her hand touching mine sends the blood from my head straight down to my groin, and I pull my hand back in what I hope was not an obvious way. Jesus Christ. My blood heats to a boil from that simple touch, turning me on more than when I touched a girl’s naked tits for the first time. If I stand around and talk to Brooke much longer, I’m going to have trouble walking.  Talk about embarrassing.

Quickly saying my final goodbyes, I hustle my way out of the restaurant and step out in to the night air, hoping it will clear my head.  Climbing in to my car, I floor it out of the parking lot and head off in to the night to find a woman to lose myself in.

I try to put her out of my mind as I drive toward the bar that Spencer and I are meeting at tonight.  Its little dive bar in the Valley, but there are always beautiful girls there.  My luck being what it is, there isn’t one girl at the bar tonight who draws me in.  It’s frustrating that none of the women here appeal to me as much as Brooke Tyler just did.  Not one of them attracts me even a quarter as much as Brooke did.

It doesn’t help that every damn one of them comes up short when I hold them up to Brooke in my mind.  What the fuck is that about?  I don’t even know her.  If I did, I’d certainly have found flaws.  No one is that perfect.  Maybe she’s a closet slut or a kleptomaniac.  Shaking my head, I immediately discount those two options.  There’s no way that she is either of those things.  But wait! Maybe she’s dreadful in bed, a cold fish, frigid and unmoving.  The very idea makes me laugh.  I can actually see the sensuality within her, so that isn’t likely.

No matter what kind of person she is, the one thing I know for sure is that she’s dangerous to me.  My plan is to steer clear of her at all costs.  Luckily, that won’t be a problem.

CHAPTER TWO

From the moment I looked in to Damien Hart’s eyes, I was lost.  His brother Dante is gorgeous, so I should have been prepared for Damien to be hot too.  Their honorary brother, Spencer Cross, is hot too, but I feel nothing toward him.  For some reason, Damien’s beauty floors me.

I’ve never thought of a man as being both beautiful and virile, but Damien manages to be both and in spades.  He’s tall and tan with longish brown hair that has little touches of gold in it.  The natural highlights in his hair and the color of his skin tell me that this man spends a considerable amount of time outdoors. His clothes showcase a body that is an absolute dream, all muscle and sex appeal.

Damien is the type of man that women everywhere would willingly drop their panties for without a moment’s hesitation… me included.  There’s just something about him. And dear lord, his lips.  I’ve never considered a man’s mouth beautiful, until I saw his.

His most prominent feature are his blue eyes.  They manage to be both a raging sea and a clear blue sky at the same time.  I think the latter covers the former, and I’d bet it’s a full time job.  As jovial as he is, I sense serious intensity inside of Damien, and I find myself drawn like a moth to the flame. What would it be like to have all of that intensity focused on me?

While this dinner with my sister and his family has been fun, I’ve had to force myself to focus on the other people that are at the table other than Damien.  It’s not just that he’s gorgeous, though that doesn’t hurt. Something indefinable draws me to him in an elemental way, and no matter how I try to shake it off, I’m unable to do so.

Sitting next to him is a form of torture.  My heartbeat is faster than usual, and I swear that I can feel my blood as it zips through my veins.  The smell of his cologne, something smooth and heady, is a complete turn on.  Everything about him forges together to create a package that I find enthralling.  Against my will, my eyes keep finding their way back to him.  For a moment I get sidetracked as I imagine him using that fantastical mouth on me, everywhere.

I flush at the thought and shift uncomfortably in my seat, mortified that I’m sitting here in full arousal thinking such outlandish thoughts about someone I’ve literally just met.  I’m not sure what’s going on with me.  I’ve never responded to, or been turned on by, anyone like I am to Damien right now, so this flood of thoughts is a complete surprise.

Even turning my body away from his doesn’t help.  It’s as though there is an invisible tether pulling me to him.  I’m aware of every movement that he makes no matter how hard I try to ignore him.

Struggling to regain my equilibrium, I spend the majority of dinner talking to Hart twins, Dominique and Delilah.  I like them right away.  They’re both fun and spirited.  In a lot of ways, they are a reminder of the girls I hung out with before my parents died and my life went to shit.

The last year has been hell.  As my old friends have continued living and going to parties, I’ve been effectively trapped in a depressing limbo.  I love my friends and I always will, but many of them have all but given up on me over the course of this last year.

I’ve been so down, and have only recently started to come back to some semblance of normalcy.  Losing both of my parents at the same time was a blow I could never have been prepared myself to deal with, and for a long time, I failed to do so.

When I would try to go out with friends it was so damn hard to be with them and hear them call their parents to check in or just say hello. Inevitably I would think I too should call my mom or dad… only to realize that I will never be able to do that again. Each time something like that would happen, I would relive the moment that I opened the front door to a policeman who had come to notify us that my parents were dead.

My life will always be divided into two parts.  Before my parents died, and after.  Before I answered the door that day, I was a daughter.  I was happy, well-adjusted and super social.  After I answered the door, I was an orphan.  I was broken-hearted, sad and socially awkward.  There is no manual to deal with the agony that I’ve felt over the last year.  I had to get through it, but it was tough.

Unfortunately, it got to be too much for me to hang out with my old friends, and I’ve been a social hermit for months. I’m getting better, but even after a year it still hurts every single day to know that my parents are gone forever.

The saving grace in all of this is my relationship with my sister.  We’ve always been best friends, but the last year has strengthened the relationship even more.  With our parents gone and no other family to turn to, Sabrina and I are closer than close. We relied heavily on each other to survive the first Christmas, first Thanksgiving and first birthdays without our parents.  The anniversary of the day they were killed was especially tough, but together, we survived.

Jack and Josie Tyler didn’t raise quitters, and Sabrina and I have had to fight hard to get ourselves back on solid ground to live up to the legacy that they left behind.  The fact that we are moving forward is really a testament to their love for us.  Even with the way things turned out, I wouldn’t trade the time with my parents for anything in the world.   They gave my sister and me a strong foundation, and that more than anything is what’s pushing us forward now.

Going to dinner with Sabrina and Dante a few times over these last few weeks was a good segue into dinner with his family.  I feel very comfortable with Dante, and I enjoy his sense of humor.  As ridiculously attractive as he is, he’s got a paternal vibe with me that I find very comforting. He’s got a very specific set of core values that guide his life, and his work ethic is a big part of that.  In a lot of ways, he reminds me of the type of man my dad was, which is probably why I get a paternal feeling from him.

Fortunately his family is just like him, so tonight’s dinner is a big success. I’m thrilled to see that Rina is enjoying it too.  My sister takes too much on, and I’m relieved to see her unwound and relaxed.  Her new job and friendship with Dante have helped her start to move forward.  Tonight’s dinner reminds me of life ‘Before the Accident’, but not in the uncomfortable way I feel when I’d be watching my friends with their parents.

If I weren’t so ridiculously aware of Damien Hart, the night would be perfect.  I just hope he doesn’t know that I’m sitting over here tied up in knots over him, fantasizing about licking his lips with my tongue. That would be humiliating.

I’m sad when dinner comes to a close.  The Hart’s are a fun family with a great dynamic.  It’s unlikely that I’ll see them terribly often, which sucks. I really enjoyed hanging out with them, and I felt settled during dinner, even though I couldn’t stop thinking about Damien. Now he seems anxious to leave, saying his goodbyes to everyone else before turning to address me.

“It was lovely to meet you Brooke.  I’m sure my family must seem nuts since we’re loud and silly and we don’t stop joking around with each other.  It’s probably a bit much to take.”

I smile at him and shake my head.  “If anything, it made me feel remarkably light for the first time in forever.  My sister and I lost our parents last year.  The loving and fun dynamic reminds me of how our family was when they were alive.  It’s just Rina and I now.  We’re extremely close, but with no family left, it’s different.  I’ve missed this feeling.”

I’m touched that Damien seems to care about what I’ve just said, his eyes telling me that he truly heard me.

“I’m so sorry Brooke, I didn’t know. It must be awful to have lost such excellent parents. I’m sure they would be tremendously proud of you both.  It’s clear to see that you are both amazing.”

Flushing with pleasure at his words, my heartbeat speeds up as I reach out and touch his hand as I smile up at him.   “What a lovely thing to say.  Thank you Damien.”

My bubble deflates as he jerks his hand from mine.  The expression on his face looks almost pained, and I’m embarrassed that I was so tactile.  Yikes.

Once he’s pulled his hand back he smiles at me briefly.  “Well. It was lovely meeting you both.  Enjoy the rest of your night.”

Just like that, he’s gone.

Turning my attention back to the group, I bid my goodbyes to Spencer and Dante.  The Hart twins are next, and they both ask for my cell number and email address.

Dominique smiles broadly at me.  “We’re totally hanging out again ASAP! How about you come to the mall with Delilah and me tomorrow around four?”

I smile as I agree.  It would be lovely to hang around more with people who don’t remind me of the past and all that I’ve lost.  Dominique says her goodbyes and then leaves.  I’d assumed that she and Delilah came together, but it turns out that Dominique lives at her fraternity house.

After Dominique leaves, Delilah asks me for my cell phone, and I hand it over so that she can program both her and Dominique’s info in to it.  When she’s finished, she gives me the phone back.

Smiling at me she asks, “What are you doing now?”

I shake my head and laugh.  “Nothing at all unless doing laundry counts.”

Grabbing my hand, she giggles.  “Awesome! Come with me.  I’m going to a party in my apartment building.  It’s being thrown by my new neighbors. I’m dying to go to the party, but obviously Dominique bailed on me and there is no way I was going alone.   It will be fun I promise.  Oh please, say you’ll come with!”

I chuckle as I nod my head.  Delilah is one of those “don’t take no for an answer" girls, and I know resistance would be futile.  Besides, I haven’t even tried to go to a party in months.  It’s time to get back in to the flow of life.

CHAPTER THREE

“Hey Brooke, I’m going to be there in about five minutes.  You ready?”

I can hear that she’s rushing about, and I laugh.  As I’ve come to learn over the last year, Sabrina is always early, and Brooke is always behind schedule.  Never actually late, but she’s always right on the verge. Generally it’s because she gives people too much of her time.  Dammit if I don’t find it quite endearing.

“I’m close.  Sorry! I got up early, started working on a paper for my business ethics class, and lost track of time.  Don’t worry, I’ll be ready.  See you in a few.  Bye!”

It’s beyond hilarious that she hung up on me.  Brooke is the only woman I’ve ever known, aside from my family and her sister, who I know for certain isn’t pretending to be someone she isn’t. To say that it’s refreshing is an understatement. I trust her, totally and without reservation.  It’s a very interesting turn of events for me, considering the fact that I’ve spent my entire life keeping outsiders away.

Pulling up to Brooke and Sabrina’s, I’m forced to park in the street because the driveway is full of cars.  In addition to Brooke’s little Mercedes and Sabrina’s Jag, my brother’s BMW and Camaro are both parked as well.  I’m out of the car and on my way in when Brooke comes barreling out the front door.

“See! I’m right on time.  Not even a minute late.”

Smiling, I hold open the passenger door for her, enjoying her scent as it wafts up to me.  It never fails to turn me on.  “You’re not late because I slowed down when you said you were behind schedule.  I know how you operate Miss Tyler.”

It’s funny how things turn out.  Just over a year ago when I met Brooke, I was relieved that I’d not have much opportunity to see her.  Things didn’t turn out like that at all.

The very first night that we’d all met my sisters took Brooke under their wing.  The three of them are now inseparable.  Spence and I joke that the Hart twins became the Hart triplets the second the girls met.  They are literally always together, which is amusing because my sisters have always been an island unto themselves a majority of the time.  They both have a ton of friends, but since they were each born with a built in best friend, they’ve never had anyone like Brooke in their lives.

Brooke and my sisters spend a lot of time with Spencer and me, especially after the twins turned twenty-one and could go clubbing.  With almost no discussion, Spencer and I shifted from going out every night in search of a casual lay to spending more time with my sisters and Brooke.  We both agree that keeping an eye on them in the clubs is the only way to ensure their safety.

In addition to going out with Brooke, Spencer and my sisters two or three times a week, I also see Brooke and her sister Sabrina at family dinner every Sunday night.  On one hand its absolute torture being with Brooke so much.  Every time I see her, I want her more.  Knowing her as well as I do now hasn’t diminished her appeal even a little bit.  If anything, I like her more and more each day.

Brooke and her sister Sabrina are the real deal.  Aside from my own sisters and my Aunt Sandra, the Tyler girls are the only two women I’ve ever met that I would trust implicitly, without any hesitation.  I can clearly see that my brother is struggling with his desire for Sabrina, and it was really obvious yesterday when he had a full on shit fit after watching Sabrina dance with another man who had the nerve to kiss her after.  I’d never seen my brother that passionate about anyone, and it was a surprise.  For all that, I know he won’t ever act on it.  Much like how I feel about Brooke, Dante knows that visiting our family bullshit on Sabrina would be unacceptable. The Tyler girls are not casual, and since neither of us do commitment…

I’m not sure that Dante, Spencer or I could even be faithful for a month, much less a lifetime.  None of us have ever tried to be exclusive with any woman, ever.  It wouldn’t be fair to get involved with a woman like Brooke or Sabrina.  They deserve better.

Sliding in to the driver’s seat of my Escalade, I look at Brooke and gesture at the cars in the driveway.  “What’s up with two of my brother’s cars being here?”

“He’s in the house with her now.  He showed up about twenty minutes ago. I just woke her up so I’m not sure, but I’m guessing she drove one of his cars to get home last night.  I was supposed to give her a ride home from his house, but the girls and I wound up going to a party in Delilah's building, so we never wound up at Dante’s.”

My fingers involuntarily tighten around the steering wheel. "Who had the party?"

Delilah's neighbor Ryan is every brother’s worst nightmare to begin with, but I hate him the because of the fact that he has such an obvious hard on for Brooke.

I can tell just by the little pause between my question and her answer that it was in his apartment.

"Don't get all over protective on me Damien.  It was at Ryan's.  No need to flip out.  Absolutely nothing happened, scouts honor."

What I wouldn't give to have a few minutes alone with that little frat boy.  If he lays one fucking finger on Brooke, I don't know what I'd do.  The girls think he's harmless, but the dudes a fucking douche.  If he wants to keep on walking without the aid of crutches, he needs to keep his goddamn hands off Brooke and my sisters.

Giving a stiff nod her way, I let it drop.

Steering the conversation to other topics, Brooke and I spend the rest of the drive to Malibu talking about a thriller that we both just finished reading.  I love that we have such similar taste in books, movies, music and television.

Our conversations are always engrossing, unlike anything I've ever experienced with a woman before. Hell, unlike I’ve ever experienced with anyone aside from my sisters, my brother, my aunt or Spence. I’ve never had a woman or a friend in my life that is Brooke’s equal.  It's just another thing that draws me to her.

I'm bummed when the ride to the beach comes to an end.  It's always great to spend time alone with her.  After grabbing a parking spot, we unload our gear and head down to where Spencer and my sisters have already set up camp for the day.

Throwing all our crap down on the sand, we spend a few minutes setting up an umbrella and unfurling our towels.  I'm already wearing my swim trunks, so after whipping my shirt off, I'm ready to go down to water.

Delilah and Spencer are already in the water, and I watch for a moment as they splash and laugh at each other.  I turn around to tell Brooke and Dominique to hustle, but completely lose my train of thought as I get a look at Brooke in her white bikini.

Holy.  Shit.

How the hell am I supposed to maintain control when she looks this fucking hot?  I'm not sure where my brain was when I set up a day at the beach.  I've seen her in a bathing suit before, but this...

It's not indecent in any way, but it showcases her body as if it was made specifically to accentuate her and her alone.  I don't think I've got a speck of saliva left in my mouth, and I know damn well that I need to do something and quick before she and Dominique realize that I'm standing here like a love struck fool.  And to top it all off, a love struck fool with a serious erection. Pivoting away from the girls, I run to the water and dive in.  It's the only way to hide my reaction to her.

I'm just about under control when Brooke and Dominique join us in the water.  Diving under the waves, Brooke emerges about a foot in front of me.  Just close enough for me to be jealous of the drops of water running from her collarbones into her bikini top.  Oh yeah, I've got problems where she's concerned.

We spend the next hour in the water, joking around and riding the boogie board.  Dominique is the first one to get out, letting us all know that she's going to get her tan on.  That leaves the four of us in the water, still messing around having a blast.

Watching Brooke throw a water safe football back and forth with Delilah and Spencer makes me smile.  For a moment, I'm out of time, almost as if I'm watching the scene from a distance.  This is, I realize, the happiest I've ever been, and the most content.  It isn't going anywhere, but it's true nonetheless.  I know damn well I can't have Brooke, as much as I ache to be with her.  But that doesn't change how happy she makes me.  When she's around, everything has more color.  Life makes more sense.  How is she so different from anyone else in the world to me?

I'm jolted out of my reverie when I realize that she's jumped up on my back in a piggyback position, her arms around my shoulders and her legs wrapped around my waist.  To her, it's a playful nothing.  To me, it's more meaningful than I care to think about.

"Dame! Where did you go?  You've been standing here like a blank slate for a few minutes now.  Are we boring you to death or what?"

Fuck me; even just feeling her against my back has me at an eleven on the arousal scale of one to ten.  Her breasts rub against my back in a totally innocent way, but my cock doesn't care at all.  It's damn lucky for me that there are so many people around, because if there weren't, I'd probably turn around and ask her to hang on to me the other way.  Chest to chest and sex to sex.  What I wouldn't give…

I manage to get out a choked laugh.  "No nothing like that.  Sorry.  I was actually thinking about a work problem.  Don't worry, I'm back on earth.  Let's head back to the beach.  I'm thirsty."

Sliding down my back, Brooke swims along next to me as we head to the shore.  By the time we're there, I've got myself mostly under control.

The four of us throw ourselves down on to the beach blankets.  Delilah rifles through the cooler that Spencer brought, producing sodas for each of us.  Taking a long pull of my Doctor Pepper, I watch from the corner of my eye as Brooke dries off.

I'm so engrossed with watching her that I completely miss the fact that we've got a visitor until I hear his obnoxious ass start to speak.

"I can't believe you guys are up and around already.  I just barely got my ass out of bed.  I figured the three of you would be so hung over you'd be crashed until mid-afternoon at the earliest. Yet here the three of you are, looking hotter than anyone else on the beach."

Just my fucking luck that Delilah’s asshole neighbor would be at the beach today. Or is it my luck?  It’s awfully convenient that of all the beaches he could have gone to, he wound up here.

The fact that he’s staring at the girls like they’re a buffet spread out just for him has my blood boiling. Does he want me or Spence to punch him in the face? Because unless I'm imagining things, it looks like Spence is seconds away from smashing his face in, too.

I give him my most glacial look, making sure I’ve got his attention.  “Ryan, is it?  Sorry to be blunt, but you’re interrupting a family day.  Maybe you can catch up with the ladies some other time.  Also, if you ever look at my girls like this again, you’re going to want to be wearing full body armor.  You got me?”

I’ll give the kid credit.  He knows when he’s in dangerous territory, and he all but moon walks away from us.

Poking me in the chest, Delilah laughs at me.  “Dame, he’s a fucking idiot.  Don’t let him upset you.  We went to the party last night because we had other friends there.  We all know he sucks.  And he’s a liar too, because not one of us was drunk last night.  Ignore him.  The three of us certainly do.”

I can’t help but to breathe a sigh of relief.  The idea of that asshole getting the girls drunk and preying on one of them, particularly with him having eyes for Brooke, fills me with rage.

Deciding to shake it off, I say no more about Ryan.  Everyone spends the rest of the day soaking up the sun, while I soak up this time with Brooke.  She can never know it, but she’s become the brightest part of my life.

CHAPTER FOUR

Another week brings another family dinner at my brother’s house. Grabbing my shrimp platter from the back seat, I head in to the house.

Even knowing that Brooke was going to be in here did nothing to lessen the throb of desire I feel when I see her.  She’s perched on the kitchen island wearing a pair of faded cut off denim shorts and a dark blue tank top, her legs dangling from the counter.  I can’t contain a little groan at the sight of her bared feet, toes painted a delicious looking bubblegum pink that causes me to fantasize about sucking them in to my mouth.

She’s talking to Dante as she shucks corn, an activity I’ve never found even remotely erotic before, but watching Brooke do it has me weak in the knees.  Seriously… is there nothing she can do that doesn’t make me wild with lust?  Apparently there isn’t, because I’ve got an arsenal of fantasies about her that lead to me fucking my fist night after night. Now I’m going to have to add corn shucking to the fantasy file. I think she might literally be driving me crazy.

Laying the shrimp platter on the other counter, I step in to the kitchen, hugging and kissing my Aunt Sandra, then Sabrina, then Dominique and Delilah.  I get to Brooke last, largely because I know that after I’ve hugged her, I’m going to need to sit down in order to hide my reaction.

Tonight is even worse than usual because of the position in which she is sitting.  Stepping up to the counter, I step between her legs and slide my arms around her before pressing a kiss on her cheek.  It takes less than twenty seconds, but all I can think about as I put my arms around her is that this would be a perfect position to pull her forward and thrust into her with my aching cock.

Briskly walking across the kitchen I take a seat at the table and watch as everyone continues preparing dinner.  Brooke’s scent gently lingers around me, and I imagine I’m taking her in with each breath.  Staring at her as she finishes shucking the corn and hops down gracefully from the counter, I smile as she makes her way over to the table and sits next to me.

“Dame, the girls and I are going to Las Vegas next weekend.  It was meant to be a girl’s weekend, but Delilah told Spencer and now he’s decided to come.  Once Dante heard about it he decided he wanted in too.  He’s asked Sabrina along.  Dante just told me to get over here and ask if you want to join us.  It’s going to be a blast.  Are you in?”

I nod my head in the affirmative without even a moment’s hesitation.  There’s no way I’m letting Brooke go to Vegas without me.  It’s hard enough knowing she is at college all day with horny frat boys.  There are far too many single men in Las Vegas for me to be comfortable not being there to protect her.  I know that at some point, she’s going to wind up dating someone and I’m going to have to deal with it… but right now, I don’t think I could handle it.  Not yet.

Smiling, she gives me a high five.  I notice that the polish on her nails matches the polish on her toes, and I disappear in my mind for a moment imagining her hands wrapped around my hard dick, jerking me off. Being touched by her would probably kill me.  I’m so turned on even thinking about it that I should be arrested for my thoughts. Thank god she keeps talking, because otherwise I’d just sit here lost in my fantasies.

“Awesome!  Your brother being your brother, we’re not allowed to do what we were originally going to do, which was drive.  We’re taking the company jet up Friday afternoon.  I think around two o’clock.  Double check that with Dante when you get a chance.  He’s reserved rooms for us and everything.  We return to town Sunday night.”

Our conversation is cut off as Spencer arrives.  Walking through the kitchen he says hello to everyone before eventually coming to sit at the table with Brooke and me.

“Dude, did you get my message?  We’re all going to Vegas next weekend, and you need to be there.”

I give him a smirk as I reply.  “Of course I’m going Spence.  I didn’t get your message yet, but Brooke just filled me in on the plan.  Sounds like a fun time.”

The two of us exchange a brief look, and I know that he feels the same way I do.  Naturally we aren’t letting the girls go to Vegas without us.  It’s good that we’re on the same page.  It would create a problem if I was constantly trying to keep an eye on Brooke and what she and my sisters are up to, if Spencer was pressuring me to go out to find women.

Fortunately, he’s just as serious about keeping an eye on them, sometimes more so.  He’s hugely attached to my sisters, Delilah in particular.  We don’t talk about it very much, but I know damn well that Spencer is in love with Delilah.  The sun rises and sets with her as far as he’s concerned.

Much like how I feel about Brooke, I know Spencer would never touch Delilah, so for now… I’m keeping my mouth shut about it. If something ever happens between them, he’s got a conversation coming his way about fidelity and treating my baby like a princess.  Since I don’t see that happening, I don’t sweat him about it.

The three of us spend a few minutes discussing things we can do in Vegas before heading outside with the rest of the family to eat dinner on the back gazebo.  We hadn’t planned on eating outside tonight since it’s the first week of December and the nights are cooler, but it turned out to be the perfect night to get the fireplace going and eat outdoors. As usual the conversation flows easily, and the evening air is filled with the sounds of laughter.

Sitting back, I enjoy the dynamic of us all together.  As fucked up as my childhood was, I can never be sad about the family that I do have.  My happiest moments are always with the people at this table.

Sometimes it overwhelms me that, in such a short amount of time, I’ve added Brooke and Sabrina to the list of people I consider family.  Obviously, the most overwhelming part of that revolves around my feelings for Brooke.  Every time I see or speak to her, I am pulled to her more.  Even her faults are endearing.

To say that it’s terrifying is an understatement.  I’ve never had any strong emotional attachment to a woman before.  My sex life consists of easily forgettable women who, like me, don’t want a commitment. I’ve always viewed sex as a highly enjoyable and entirely necessary form of release that never involves emotion.  I instinctively know that would not be the case with her.  She turns me inside out in such a way that I’d probably do something ridiculous like shed a tear if I ever got to be inside of her.

With Brooke, everything is different.  I look forward to talking to her. I crave the sound of her voice. I need to be near her.  I get fucking butterflies in my stomach when I touch her. Me, with butterflies! If someone had told me eight months ago that I’d ever have butterflies over a girl, I’d have laughed in their face at the absurdity of that statement.

It’s a daily struggle to keep these feelings inside.  Brooke is so goddamn beautiful, and so real, that I’m constantly trying to regain my equilibrium.  It’s a real conundrum, and at this point I know that I’m falling in love with Brooke, if I’m not there already.   I can never be with her the way I want to, but I can’t stand to be away from her either.

My thoughts come to a halt when I feel her look across the table at me.  Before I have time to mask my reaction, I look up and meet her eyes.  Just like the first night I met her, I immediately feel like all of the oxygen has rushed from my body.  The only difference is that this time I can see that she feels something too.  She feels it!  She wants me too! I’m giddy at the thought. We stay locked in that moment, the seconds passing between us in silence.

The bubble I’m in bursts when I remember that I don’t deserve someone like Brooke, and I never will.  If I only ever do one thing in my life that is entirely honorable where a woman is concerned, it will be keeping Brooke safe from my bullshit.  With that depressing thought, I shift my eyes to my Aunt Sandra and try to ignore the insistent pulse of awareness that exists between Brooke and me.

CHAPTER FIVE

As usual, dinner has been terrific.  I feel as though I heal a bit more each week as we all sit at the table as a family.  Each month when I go to the cemetery to visit my parent’s grave, I thank them for bringing the Hart family to Sabrina and me.

Meeting them was the turn in the road that saved us both from continued isolation, and I like to think that I see my parent’s handiwork in the arrival of the Hart family into the lives of Sabrina and me.  I want to believe that they are still looking out for my sister and me, still making sure that we have what we need.  There is nothing that can ever change how desperately I wish my parents were still here, nothing that could ever make me forget that they were taken from me long before they should have been.  But, for the first time in a long time, I am genuinely looking forward to the future and seeing things positively.

One of the biggest reasons for my happiness is Damien.  When I’m with him, I feel all lit up, inside and out.  He brings such a feeling of contentment and happiness to me that it’s hard to describe.  I just feel right when he’s around. Looking across the table, I take him in with my eyes.  I love watching him during these moments when he’s happiest and most content.  He’s so unbelievably handsome it makes my heart stutter.  As I’m mentally counting down the seconds before I have to look away, his eyes snap up and he holds me in his gaze.

My heartbeat speeds up as my breath catches in my throat.  Damien’s gaze is both intense and erotic all at once.  I’m glad that I’m sitting down because my legs feel like jelly.  We stare across the table at each other for less than fifteen seconds, but it feels like an eternity.

I am both saddened and relieved when Damien’s gaze shifts from me to his Aunt Sandra.  I’m sad because the moment has passed, relieved because I don’t want everyone to realize that I’ve got feelings for Damien.  I can’t help but to feel giddy though because I am pretty damned sure that whatever just passed between us, he felt it too.

With a great deal of effort on my part, I turn my attention back to the conversation at the table. Dante is talking to Delilah and Dominique about another Habitat for Humanity build that they’ve just signed up for, and I join in to that conversation.

I’m sad that I can’t do the Habitat project with them, but I’m doing the last part of my work experience for my degree during the time they are doing it.  Damien understands that I’m bummed to miss out on the experience, and he speaks up.  “I know it’s a bummer that you can’t participate in this build Brooke, but how about we all sign up and do the next build together as a family?”

Everyone agrees that it’s a great plan, and I can’t help but smile at his use of the word family.  We’ve become a unit, as if we were destined to be together.  My relationships with each of these people are full and real, but my feelings for Damien elevate my connection to him.

It’s so strange that in fourteen months, he has become such an integral part of my life.  I see him several days a week, but on the days that I don’t see him, his absence is extremely noticeable. The days without him are never as good as the days with him.

My reverie is brought to an end as everyone stands up and starts cleaning the table off.  Jumping to my feet, I grab some dishes and make my way in to the kitchen.  Once at the sink I start rinsing and then loading the dishes in to the dishwasher.

As usual Damien stands next to me and dries the bigger things that I wash that won’t fit in the dishwasher.  We talk about Vegas and all the things that we could possibly do while we’re there, and since we’ve all got a system down, everything is complete fifteen minutes later. After we’re all finished cleaning we head in to Dante’s theater room.  This week Aunt Sandra has brought the movie, “The Adjustment Bureau.”  We all take seats and get comfortable while Dante cues the movie up and then starts it.

I’ve seen the movie before so I allow my mind to wander.  Inevitably my thoughts go to Damien.  What was with that look we exchanged earlier?  I don’t think I was projecting the heat in his eyes.  He was totally fine while we were doing the dishes, but for the first time I really noticed that he always stays near to me.

It would be amazing if Damien was attracted to me, and would act on it.  I know his track record is awful, but I know there is more to it than just the fact that he likes variety.  He’s never had a girlfriend, not even in high school.  Dominique and Delilah tell me that Damien, Spencer and Dante have never even considered anything serious.  I think Damien shies away from commitment for a reason, but I don’t know what it is.

Apparently, before Damien and Spencer started hanging out with the girls and I once the girls turned twenty-one, they used to spend their nights at clubs all over town picking up women.  Delilah says she imagines that Damien, Dante and Spencer have had each had sex with hundreds of women. The fact that all three of them are such commitment-phobes definitely says something.

The very thought of Damien touching another woman makes me ill, not that I can do anything about it.  I’ve been lucky so far and haven’t seen him with anyone, and I hope my luck holds out for a long, long time.  For whatever reason, he and Spence never pick up women when they are with the girls and me.  As far as I can tell, they don’t even look.

His track record might be bad, but I couldn’t imagine Damien ever treating me poorly.  No one has ever been as attuned to my feelings and thoughts as Damien is. He treats me with respect and consideration at all times, and I know he cares about me deeply.  I think we would make a fantastic couple, and I can’t even conceive of being with anyone but him.  I certainly don’t have the desire.

So engrossed am I in my own thoughts that I startle when the movie concludes and Dante turns on the lights.  All of us make our way in to the driveway as we say our goodbyes.

As usual, Damien and I are the last two, and we stand talking as everyone else pulls out of the driveway.  Our conversation coming to a close, Damien walks me to my car.  He seems a bit off, but I’m sure he’s just tired.

After we exchange goodbyes, I stand on my toes and wrap my arms around him for a hug and then stretch up further to kiss his cheek.  He must not have realized what I was doing, because he turned his head a bit, causing my lips to connect with his mouth instead of his cheek.

I barely have time to process that before he tightens his grip on me and licks my lower lip.   When I gasp, he slides his tongue in to my mouth.  He tastes delicious and I moan as our tongues explore each other’s mouths.

The kiss goes on and on.  It’s full of passion, and like wildfire it burns everything in its wake.  He starts moving us until my back is up against my car, our bodies smashed against each other.  Fisting my hands in his hair, I rub against him, reveling in the feeling of his rock hard erection pressing against me.  Needing more contact, I widen my legs and then wrap my right leg around him before rubbing up against him in search of relief.

I’m shocked but incredibly aroused when he puts his hands on my ass, lifting me off my feet.  Wrapping my other leg around him so that now both feet are locked together behind his back, I wiggle against him as he bumps gently up against me, mimicking the rhythm of sex.  I’m needy and frustrated, groaning in frustration.  I want more.

Wrenching my lips from his I whisper, “Damien, help me.  I feel out of control.”

His eyes are gigantic in his face, his breathing labored and erratic.  He looks utterly undone, but all I can think about is how badly I want him. I rub up against him again and then gasp as he opens the button and pulls down the zipper of my jean shorts.  My head falls back and hits the car as his hand slips in to my soaking wet panties. God his fingers feel so good against my sex.

Laying his forehead on mine, he growls.  “Fuck Brooke.  You’re soaked sweetheart.  So fucking wet and hot.”

Sliding his fingers over me, he rubs my juices all over my clit faster and faster. His tongue in my mouth matches the rhythm of his fingers, a turn on unlike anything I’ve ever felt.  Holding his head between my hands, I kiss him back with unchecked passion.  It was one thing to suspect what his mouth would feel like.  It’s another thing entirely to know.  My fantasies didn’t even come close to doing him justice, and I soak up his skill like a sponge.

His fingers easily slide all over my clit, my arousal making me sex a slippery canvas just for his use.  Rubbing against him, I let out a muffled cry.  I’m so close!

Whether it’s because he has so much experience or because he knows me so well, he knows the exact moment that I’m on the verge of exploding.  Pulling his mouth back from mine, he stares in to my eyes as his fingers concentrate on rubbing my clit in slippery circles.

“Let yourself go honey. Cum all over my fingers.”

The command, combined with the growly tone of his voice, sends me over the edge. Arching my back, I silently scream as my orgasm erupts through my entire body.  Leaning forward, he claims my mouth with his in a kiss so territorial that I feel it in my bones. He’s marking me, and I love it.  I continue moaning into his mouth as I finish cumming while he rubs me through it.

I’m still riding the wave when the outside lights go off, and I watch in frustration as Damien pulls back, his face a mask of horror.

He says nothing as he pulls his hands out of my shorts and proceeds to pull up my zipper and close the button.  Putting his hands under my thighs, he looks at me.  “You have to put your feet back down on the ground Brooke.”

I’m afraid of how desolate he looks.  What happened between us was amazing, but he doesn’t look as though he agrees.

I’m shaky from my orgasm, and my heart is beating liking a drum.  Standing against the car, I stare at him in silence.  My hands itch to reach out for him, but the look on his face tells me that he’s hanging by a thread.

Leaning forward, Damien lays his forehead against mine for a moment before pulling back.  “I’m so sorry Brooke.  That wasn’t right.  Christ, I almost took you up against the car like an animal in full view of my brother’s house.  He could have looked out at any time.”

Shaking my head, I smack his chest with my hand.  “Stop that Damien.  I was right there with you.  Until you pulled back, I would have let you take me in front of a crowd of people.  I wanted this.  I want this.  So don’t blame yourself.  I was doing it too.”

Pushing away from the car, Damien stares at me in horror.  “Jesus Brooke, you deserve a hell of a lot more than being fucked up against a car like an animal.  I shouldn’t have touched you, and I’m sorry I did.  I hope this doesn’t affect our friendship, but you need to forget tonight ever happened.  I’m going to.”

Ouch.  That hurts.  It would be impossible for me to forget what just happened, but apparently it’s going to be no problem for him.

Swallowing my pride, I nod curtly at him as I address my comments somewhere over his shoulder.  “If that’s how you feel, than you’re right, this was a mistake.  It’s late, and I’ve got to go.  Don’t worry, we’ll be fine.  I’ll see you later this week. Goodnight.”

Before he can say any more, I get in to my car and start the engine.  Seconds later I’m pulling out of the driveway.

Normally I’m a very cautious driver, but I peel out and gun it toward the freeway.  Once I’m on the freeway, I hit the gas harder and floor it.  I just don’t care right now.  If I get a ticket, I get a ticket.

My cell rings and I hit answer on the dash.  “Hello?”

I startle when Damien’s voice booms through the speakers.  “Goddammit Brooke.  Slow the fuck down, now!”

I give my dashboard the finger and shake my head.  “Damien, just because I peeled out of the driveway doesn’t mean I’m driving like Mario Andretti.  I’m OK, so stop worrying.  Bye.”

I end the call and push harder on the gas pedal.  Slow down?  Fuck him.

The phone rings again and I answer.  “What?”

Damien’s voice is frantic now.  “I’m not kidding Brooke.  Slow that fucking car down.  Do you need your sister to lose you to a car accident?  Hasn’t she lost enough?”

Just like that the wind is knocked out of me, and I ease my foot off the gas.  My brain kicks in to gear and I realize that Damien must be nearby to know how fast I was going.  I check to my right and then in my rearview but don’t see him.  When I look to my left, I see that he’s right next to me.

“Seriously Damien, you don’t have to follow me.  I’ve slowed down.  You can go on home now.”

I can almost hear his blood pressure soaring.  “Damn you Brooke.  Don’t be like this.  Don’t shut me out sweetheart.  Please.  I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

I blow out a frustrated sigh.  “I’m fine Damien.  I’ll drive carefully, and I’ll see you on Thursday.  Thanks for talking sense in to me.  I’ll talk to you later.”

I terminate the phone call and spend the rest of the car ride in silence.  Pulling in to the driveway, I park and then get out, shaking my head as I watch Damien drive off.

My sister must already be in bed because the house is silent.  Making my way to my room I close the door, take off my clothes and throw myself on the bed.

Holy hell, what was that?  I know my way around an orgasm, but that was out of this world.  Damien made me cum harder with his fingers than I ever have before.  What would it feel like to cum under his tongue, or with his cock buried inside of me?

If I thought I was hot for him prior to him kissing me and making me cum, I’m even more so now.  My body never felt that super-charged before, and I shiver remembering the sensation of his powerful fingers sliding over my clit again and again.

Before I even know that I’m going to do it, my hands frantically descend to take off my panties.  Lifting my hips from the bed I slide them off. I silently moan as I feel how soaked they are. Sitting up, I take off my bra too, and then throw them both toward my hamper.

Rubbing my breasts and pinching my nipples, I shift restlessly as the sensations assail me.  I keep seeing Damien’s face as his fingers explored me, his expression enthralled and erotic.  I give a little gasp as I slide my hand down my belly and glide it in to my still drenched pussy.  I’m on fire tonight.

Arching my back again, I pant and moan as I rub little figure eights over my clit.  Sliding my finger in to my dripping cleft, I wet it with my arousal and then bring it to my lips.  I love the taste of myself on my tongue, but tonight I imagine that I taste a little of Damien too.  God I wish he had sunk his cock in to me.

Breathless now I pick up the pace, sliding one finger a little in and then quickly out as my other hand works my clit in a quick movement.  Tilting my hips, I rub my g-spot and then pinch my clit, silently crying out Damien’s name as my body erupts in orgasm.

It’s not enough, and I don’t stop.  I writhe under my fingers in agony and ecstasy as I continue on, bringing myself through two more orgasms. They barely, and I mean barely, take the edge off.  My thighs and fingers are coated with my arousal, the sheets below me are damp with it, and my body is covered in sweat.  Even with four orgasms under my belt from tonight, I still want more.  I want to know the feeling of being filled with Damien. No, that’s understating it.  I don’t want to know, I have to.

Flopping over on to my stomach, I run my fingers back in to my sex and start to rub again in little circles again.  I gasp and pant as I fuck my fingers with abandon, screaming his name in to my pillow as I cum again.

Turning over, I lie on my back and stare at the ceiling as I catch my breath.  At least a small portion of Damien must want me too.  Now I need to figure out a way to get him to admit it.

CHAPTER SIX

I’m out of my fucking mind with lust for Brooke.  She’s so damn far under my skin that it’s unbelievable.  After a lifetime of being able to keep my heart in cold storage where the fair sex is concerned, I was taken down by Brooke without her even having to put in any effort.

It’s clear what about Brooke is so different from everyone else.  She’s beautiful, kind, caring, considerate, smart, funny, and most of all, she’s real.  There is no artifice in Brooke.

What’s not clear is why I can’t stop wanting her.  I’ve never spared a second thought for any girl or woman that I’ve ever met, but there is no sense in me about Brooke.  The pull toward her is visceral, and it gets stronger every single day.

The look we exchanged at the dinner table tonight was scorching.  I don’t think there is anything I wouldn’t do to be inside of Brooke.  Even thinking about it gets me so fucking hard I could blow without ever touching myself.

I’m operating at a deficit tonight, and I blame the look we exchanged.  Dammit, now I’m positive she’s attracted to me too.  I don’t think that is a good thing.  It’s going to be even tougher to resist her.

The movie passes in a blur, without me ever absorbing even one second of it.  It’s past time for me to get home and get a handle on myself. Literally. I need to jerk the fuck out of my cock so that I can get myself under control.

Everyone but Dante heads out in to the driveway as we all say our goodbyes.  One by one everyone leaves, until only Brooke and I are left.  We always are, because I like spending these few minutes alone with her.

“So your big moving day is in two weeks.  Are you excited about moving in with your new roommates?”

Her head gives a little shake as she worries her lip with her teeth.  “Not really.  In fact, if I hadn’t already paid the rent for the entire semester, I’d bail.  It seemed like a good idea at the time, but now I think I jumped too soon.”

“Shit Brooke.  If it’s a question of the money, fuck it.  I’ll write you a check for whatever you paid right now, and that can be that.”

Jabbing me in the chest, she smiles.  “Damien you nut.  That’s not what I meant at all, and you should know that.  It’s not about the money, it’s about the commitment.  I committed to this when I paid for the semester, and now I have to see it through.”

I harrumph like an old man, even though I’m proud of her for being such a follow through type of girl.  Making our way around the corner of the house to where her car is parked, we say our goodbyes.  Standing on her tip toes Brooke gives me a hug, enveloping me in her arms and her scent.  When she stretches further up to kiss my cheek I can’t help myself.  I turn my face so that her lips will graze mine.

I meant for it just to be one moment, but I’m weak, and I wanted to taste her, just once.  Before I fully realize that I’m going to do it, my tongue is tracing the bottom of her lip. When she gasps, I use the opening and slide my tongue in to her mouth.  My heart pounds in my chest as I move us so that her back is against her car.

Not surprisingly, she tastes like heaven.  My fantasies didn’t come near to doing her justice and they didn’t factor in that she’d have such skill.  The taste of her is electric, the slip and slide of her tongue against mine a major turn on.  It’s as if her mouth was designed specifically to drive me wild.  The feeling of her rubbing against me is making me crazy, so crazy that when she widens her stance and wraps a leg around me, I grab her ass and lift her up so that she can wrap the other around too.

I’m like an animal, just barely containing myself from rutting her like a wild stallion.  I thrust up against her again and again as I seek relief.  It feels like I’ve won the lottery. She’s even more perfect than I always knew she would be.

Pulling her lips from mine, she moans, “Damien, help me.  I feel out of control.”

This is heaven and hell, all wrapped in one beautiful package writhing against my cock. It’s time to end this… before I do something she’ll regret.  I’m trying to muster up the strength to put her down when she rubs up against my erection again and moans.

My heart thunders in my chest as I struggle not to explode.  I can’t help myself, I have to feel her.  I’m making and breaking promises to myself all over the place, but I’m too far gone to do anything about it.

Unsnapping her shorts with shaking hands, I pull her zipper down and then slide my fingers into her panties. Christ she’s on fire, her pussy dripping all over my fingers.  What I wouldn’t give to sink to my knees and bury my face in her, letting her ride my tongue as I drank her arousal.

Laying my forehead on hers, I say, “Fuck Brooke.  You’re soaked sweetheart.  So fucking wet and hot.”

Sliding my fingers over her, I rub some of the cream that is all but falling out of her tiny cunt onto her clit.  Doesn’t it just fucking figure that she’s perfect?  Her heat all but burns me as my tongue invades her mouth in a rhythm that mimics the speed of my fingers.

Rubbing against me, she lets out a muffled cry.  My prick is about to explode in my pants, just from this.  I could bend her over the hood, pull her shorts down and be balls deep inside of her in less than a minute.  Fuck! I want to be inside her hot pussy so badly, it’s making me nuts.

My fingers glide easily all over her soaking slit, and I rub her arousal over her clit faster and faster.  “Let yourself go honey. Cum all over my fingers.”

She cums beautifully, better than my best fantasy of how she might. She moans in to my mouth while I rub circles all over her clit as she continues to cum.  My cock wants to be where my fingers are so bad that it feels as though I’m losing my mind. I’m terrifyingly close to pulling my cock out and taking her when the outside lights go off, and I snap back in to reality.

Pulling my hand out of her shorts, I zipper and button them.  Putting my hands under her thighs, I look at her.  She is flush with pleasure, the dreamiest look on her face.  Fuck, I ache for her.

Instead of telling her that I say,   “You have to put your feet back down on the ground Brooke.”

Even in my relief that she’s doing as I asked, I hate the loss of contact.  Leaning forward, I lay my forehead against hers for a moment before pulling back.  “I’m so sorry Brooke.  That wasn’t right.  Christ, I almost took you up against the car like an animal in full view of my brother’s house.  He could have looked out at any time.”

Brooke looks offended, and she shakes her head at me before giving me a smack.  “Stop that Damien.  I was right there with you.  Until you pulled back, I would have let you take me in front of a crowd of people.  I wanted this.  I want this.  So don’t blame yourself.  I was doing it too.”

I push back from her in horror.  What the hell have I done?

“Jesus Brooke, you deserve a hell of a lot more than being fucked up against a car like an animal.  I shouldn’t have touched you, and I’m sorry I did.  I hope this doesn’t affect our friendship, but you need to forget tonight ever happened.  I’m going to.”

The lies burn my throat like acid.  I’m not sorry that I touched her.  I’m not sorry that now I know what she tastes like.  I’ll never forget this.  I wouldn’t want to forget it either.  Brooke is where I want to be.

For all that, I can’t change the facts.  Brooke deserves better than the likes of me, even on my best day. The right thing to do is let her find someone that is worthy of her.

It breaks something in me to see her so upset, but I silently cheer her on when she faces me head on, even though she can’t seem to really look at me.

“If that’s how you feel, than you’re right, this was a mistake.  It’s late, and I’ve got to go.  Don’t worry, we’ll be fine.  I’ll see you later this week. Goodnight.”

Before I even have a chance to respond she is in her car.  Within seconds, she’s off like a shot and her tires screeching as she peels out of the driveway.

I’m filled with dread as I hear her continue down the street without slowing down.  If something happens to Brooke, I don’t know how I’d face myself in the mirror ever again, much less how I’d survive.

I haul ass to my car and slide in to the driver’s seat, gunning the engine as I floor it out of Dante’s driveway.  She needs to slow down.

I’m easily going seventy as I try to catch up with her, but she’s too far ahead of me.  On the freeway it’s easier to keep up with her because it’s a straight shot, but my blood runs cold when I look at my odometer. I’m doing almost ninety, and I’m just barely keeping up with her.

This is reckless and crazy and so unlike her.  Hitting my dash display, I press the entry for Brooke’s cell.  I’m almost insane with worry as I hear her say, “Hello?”

I can’t control myself and I yell, “Goddammit Brooke.  Slow the fuck down, now!”

“Damien, just because I peeled out of the driveway doesn’t mean I’m driving like Mario Andretti.  I’m OK, so you can stop worrying.  Bye.”

Brooke fucking hung up on me!  She goddamn hung up, and now she’s going even faster.  Hitting the dash with shaking hands, I call her again.

“Hello?”

“I’m not kidding Brooke.  Slow that fucking car down.  Do you need your sister to lose you in a car accident?  Hasn’t she lost enough?”

Referencing Sabrina works immediately, and I breathe a sigh of relief as her speed starts backing down and I’m able to pull alongside of her.  I watch as she looks to her in her rearview and then to her right before she turns to me.

“Seriously Damien, you don’t have to follow me.  I’ve slowed down.  You can go on home now.”

This is my biggest fear come to life.  I’ve hurt her, and now she’s going to hate me.   “Damn you Brooke.  Don’t be like this.  Don’t shut me out sweetheart. Please. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

Her frustrated sigh leaves me sick inside.

“I’m fine Damien.  I’ll drive carefully, and I’ll see you on Thursday.  Thanks for talking sense in to me.  I’ll talk to you later.”

I follow the rest of the way to her house anyway, needing to make sure she got home alright.

Once Brooke is safely home, I head to my house, relieved that at least I know she is okay.  Thankfully it doesn’t take long for me to get home.  I’m hard as a rock, and I need to cum before my cock explodes.

Slamming the front door and then locking it, I make my way in to my bedroom and quickly shuck my clothes before falling back on my bed.  My cock is rigid, standing at full attention with a bead of pre-cum right at the tip.  I groan in relief as I fist my cock and start working my hand up and down.

When I realize that the hand that is working my cock is the same hand that was drenched in Brooke’s arousal, I get even harder, knowing that a little of her is now on my aching dick.

Dragging my hand from my cock, I bring it to my face and inhale.  Every nerve in my body contracts in agony as I breathe in her scent before I slide my fingers in to my mouth and suck, tasting the flavor of her on my fingers.

Throwing my head back, I groan as I take my cock back in to my fist and start jerking it faster and faster.  In my mind’s eye I see Brooke’s face as she came all over my hand, her cunt flooding my fingers.  My cock and my brain connect as one in a release so powerful my toes curl.

The silence of the room is shattered by the sound of her name when I yell it out as rope after rope of cum jets on to my stomach. I’m covered in cum laying here and wishing I’d been able to flood her hot cunt with it. Just thinking of her wet pussy makes me crazy, and I feel myself start to get hard again.

Fisting my lengthening cock, I gently start to work my way up and down again.  I run my fingers through the cum I spurted on my stomach and rub it all over my aching shaft, groaning at the sensation of my cock in my tight wet fist.

I wish so badly that my fist was Brooke’s pussy, and imagining that it is makes me grip myself harder as I start to jack myself faster. Closing my eyes, I picture her spread wide below me as I pound into her delicious warmth, wet and wild as she meets me thrust for thrust.

Sliding my left hand down my body, I reach my hand under my cock and start to rub my balls.  The added sensation is amazing, and I growl as I imagine Brooke licking and sucking my aching balls.  That fucking mouth of hers!  Brooke is a phenomenal kisser, and I know she would give great head.

I’m panting now as I chant her name in to the silence of my bedroom, jerking my cock harder and harder.  Closing my eyes, I connect with the moment that she came around my fingers again as I erupt again.  My body arches as burst after burst erupts from my aching tip.

It isn’t enough.  I want the real thing and I want it bad. If I don’t get a hold of myself, Brooke is going to be the death of me.

CHAPTER SEVEN

I’m running through my room like a wild woman, grabbing this and that as I pack my small rolling bag.  I was so busy studying for my finals this week that I never got a chance to pack for Vegas.

I’m thrilled that I’m out of school for a few weeks, and I do a little happy dance as I pack.  I’ve got almost a whole month off, and I can’t wait to relax and unwind.  This trip to Vegas with the family is just the first fun thing I plan to do this week.

I’m excited about going.  I’ve packed some of my sexiest clothes, and I plan to spend the next few days trying to bring Damien to his knees.

What happened in the driveway at Dante’s the other night was just a small taste of all that I want to do with him.  Since then, I’ve been aching more than usual to touch and be touched by him.  I’ve masturbated like a wild woman every night thinking about how good he made me feel.

Hearing Sabrina honking her horn from the driveway, I finish closing up my bag before making my way to the front door and locking everything up.  Throwing my bag in to the trunk, I slide in to the passenger seat of her car, laughing as she mock glares at me.

“I almost pulled away without your slow ass!”

I hold my hands up in mock surrender.  “Sorry, sorry.  I got so behind this week with all the finals and craziness. Thanks for waiting for me.”

Sabrina smiles at me before backing out of the driveway.  “It’s totally fine, they would never leave without us.  I just hate being late.  You know how I get.”

We spend the rest of the drive listening to the Go-Go’s and talking about what fun Vegas is going to be.  We’re at the airport within thirty minutes, and without anything pesky like check in to impede us, we’re on the plane ten minutes after that.  Everyone but Damien is on the plane, and I wonder where he is.

My first inclination that he isn’t coming is the closing of the cabin door. It hits me then like a ten ton truck. Jesus Christ, he bailed on the trip.  Turning to Dominique I ask, “Where’s Damien?”

She smiles at me and shakes her head in mock disgust.  “Oh, you know Damien.  He did the dip on us because he had a date tonight.  I guess he reached the end of his rope on hanging out with us and not getting any.”

Shrugging her shoulders at me, she ends with, “My brothers.  What can I do?”

I’m sick inside, and I feel an idiot and a tramp. Clearly I’ve been living in a fantasy world since Sunday night.  Damien didn’t want me.  He was horny, and I was just another body.  I guess it’s lucky for us both that he pulled back when he did.

I spend the rest of the flight mostly silent, just managing to join in on conversations from time to time.  Hopefully no one notices how zoned out I am.

We touch down in Vegas and climb in to a limo that takes us to the hotel.  Dante being Dante, he’s upgraded the accommodations, and we’re all in a series of suites.

I beg off from dinner by telling everyone I need a nap because I didn’t sleep last night because I was studying for my last exam.  My excuse goes off without anyone raising an eyebrow, and I jump in to bed in my suite and pull the covers over my head as I do what I’ve wanted to do since I realized Damien was not getting on that plane.  I cry.

I cry because he isn’t here.  I cry because I hate that I attached importance to what happened in the driveway last weekend when clearly there was none.  But mostly I cry because now I know for sure that I’m in love with someone that doesn’t want me and never will.  In all likelihood he’s going to be fucking some girl tonight, and it makes me sick.

Eventually I run out of tears and I lay in silence staring at the ceiling.  I need to get my shit together and get my game face ready.  If I stay like this eventually someone will notice that I’m miserable and that will lead to questions. I feel dumb enough as it is without anyone figuring out that I’m pining for Damien.  Of all the people in the world to pine for, I’m the idiot that fell for a guy who can’t keep his dick in his pants.  I thought he was changing, but it appears that I was wrong.

Calling down for room service, I order a burger and then sit in bed watching Project Runway waiting for it to show up. When my burger arrives I move to the edge of the bed to eat, still stewing about Damien bailing on a family trip to get away from me.

Once I’m done eating, I finish watching Project Runway and then head in to the bathroom to start getting ready for tonight.  I go all out and really sex kitten it up. My hair and make-up are more dramatic than usual, by a mile.  I need to feel better about myself, and this is a decent start. My red halter mini dress is form fitting and pushes my breasts up and out.  Paired with my sexiest heels and wild bed head hairdo, I look sensational… if I do say so myself.

When Delilah knocks on my door and gets a look at me, she giggles maniacally.  “Holy cow Brooke, you look fucking hot!  You’re going to have guys all over you tonight!” I laugh back at her and gesture to her outfit, a pair of short black silk shorts and a see through blouse with a tank top underneath it.  “You look smoking yourself babe.  It looks like we’re both going to be getting some attention tonight!”

Being with Delilah puts me in a better mood, and we’re both bubbly by the time we reach Dominique’s suite.  She’s dressed to the nines too, and the three of us make quite the team.

We all head to Spencer’s suite to pick him up.  Sabrina and Dante have decided to go see a show so tonight it’s just the girls, me and Spencer going out.

The three of us burst out laughing as he all but chokes as he gets a load of our attire for the evening.  His jaw drops open and then he glares at the three of us.

“You’re all fucking kidding me, right?  You can’t go out dressed like this!  I’m by myself here.  How the hell am I supposed to watch you three?”

I laugh, and so do the girls.  Delilah bats her eyelashes at him and says, “Hopefully you’re up to the challenge, because we aren’t changing.”

Looking each of us over, he groans and rubs his head.  “Listen girls, I need you to be reasonable tonight.  I’m going to have a stroke trying to watch all of you alone as it is.  Please don’t make it too hard on me.”

We promise to be on our best behavior, and then we head off to one of the hottest clubs in Vegas.  The place is packed, and the music is thumping.  We’re out on the dance floor immediately, and within seconds, the twins and I are approached by guys who want to dance with us.

Spencer’s trying his best to ward them off, but three against one isn’t working.  I’m drinking more than usual and feeling looser and looser as we dance to song after song.

When a hot guy grabs me around the waist and starts dancing with me in a decidedly provocative way, I don’t stop him.  It feels good to be wanted, and when his head descends to mine to take my mouth in a kiss, I throw caution to the wind and wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him back with abandon.  I need to eradicate the memory of Damien’s kiss and right now, this seems like a good start.

I don’t put the brakes on when he starts grinding into me more suggestively, and I let him get further than anyone but Damien has gotten in well over a year. My brain is a haze of alcohol, anger and rejection.  His kiss does nothing for me, but I throw myself into it and try harder, silently screaming at myself that I need to be attracted to someone, anyone, other than Damien.

It takes me a moment to notice that there is now another guy at my back, also grinding up against me. When I feel an erection rubbing up against my ass, I end the lip lock with hunky. I turn around and push the other guy away as I yell, “no!”

My shove has no effect on him, and when hunky high fives the guy my heart sinks.  These two obviously know each other.

They’ve got me trapped between them as they both continue grinding against me suggestively.  Over the course of the next few minutes, I realize we are moving closer and closer to the exit.  I try to get away, but they are having no parts of it, and I’m starting to panic.

They work in tandem as they edge me closer and closer to the exit. I yell out, but with the club being as loud as it is, no one even spares me a glance.  I’m close to throwing up, and I’m terrified.

When Spencer grabs my arm and pulls me away from both of the guys, I’m so happy to see him that I almost weep.  I bury my face in his chest as he yells at the two assholes. Delilah runs up to us and pulls me in to her arms as I start to shake as I cry.  I just made a god awful mess of the night, and I’m embarrassed.

The fun is over, and we all leave the club.  I’m trying to walk on my own, but I’m shaky and wobbly, so eventually Spencer lifts me up and carries me out to a cab.  The ride back to the hotel is blessedly short, which is good because my stomach is churning.

I try to walk again once we get there, but I’m too sick to manage it.  Spencer lifts me in to his arms again and the four of us make quick work of getting to my suite.  I’m horrified when Sabrina opens the door to my suite and I see Dante pacing the room behind her.

Urgently I say, “Bathroom” to Spencer and he runs me in with seconds to spare.  As soon as he has me in front of the toilet I start vomiting profusely.

God bless my sister for pulling my hair back in to a ponytail and rubbing my back as I continue to vomit.  After a while, I hear everyone else leave, but Sabrina stays with me through the night.  I’ve never prayed to the porcelain god after drinking too much before, and I never want to do it again.

Eventually the vomiting becomes dry heaving, and I lay my face on the toilet seat and cry.  I feel like one hundred miles of bad road, and to top it all off, I look like a fool to my friends and family.  It’s been a banner night.

Sabrina shushes me and puts a cool compress on my head.  “It’s okay Brooke.  I’m right here and everything is fine.”

I try to smile at her but what comes out must be horrifying because she looks alarmed.

“I’m done throwing up.  I need to brush my teeth and go to bed.”

Sabrina nods and helps me stand at the sink and brush my teeth before she walks me in to the bedroom suite and helps me get in to a nightgown.  Once Rina’s tucked me in to the bed, she curls up next to me and rubs my back.

“Sleep it off. Tomorrow is another day.”

My last waking thought is that at least I always have my sister to rely on.

CHAPTER EIGHT

I feel like a fucking coward for not getting on that plane, but I don’t see how I can be around Brooke without hurting her more than I already have.  We need to be apart, not together.

I begged off with some bullshit excuse about a date.  No one even questioned it, and that made me feel worse.  Clearly my reputation as a man whore is well and truly established, and no one even thinks that there would be any other reason for me to back out of this trip other than my unquenchable need to fuck. Oh, the fucking irony.

Of course, I don’t have a date, far from it in fact.  I’m sitting in my living room staring at a wall wishing that I was there.  It’s a real fucking barn burner over here.

Christ, my dating life is getting more and more pathetic by the week.  Anytime I’ve gone out with Spence without the girls for the last fourteen months, inevitably I wound up picking someone who looks like Brooke.

I’d fuck those girls, all the while thinking of Brooke, and when I was cumming, I was yelling Brooke’s name in my head.  One after another, those nights made me more and more unhappy.  I want the real thing, not an imitation.

Lately, I’ve just given up on having sex entirely. It’s impossible to substitute anyone for her, and frankly it was depressing to keep trying.  I’m hoping that eventually I’ll just be able to fuck without thinking of her at all, but until I can be attracted to someone that isn’t a poor man’s version of her, I’m not bothering.

The hours pass by in a blur.  I imagine everyone laughing, talking and having a fabulous time.  I bet it’s a perfect time in Vegas.  I can’t stop thinking about Brooke, and it makes me want to puke that I have to put such distance between us.  What I wouldn’t give to be normal, to be from a bloodline that wasn’t littered with one sex or drug addict after another.

There is no pretending that I’m not an addict too.  I lost my virginity when I was fifteen, and I’ve never looked back.  I fucked hundreds of girls, and I’ve never felt anything other than lust for any one of them.  The fact that I’m not fucking right now doesn’t mean shit.  If anything, it’s terrifying that I’m so addicted to Brooke that I can’t fuck anyone else.

I’d die to be the man that was worthy of Brooke, but that’s never going to happen for me.  She deserves better, of that there is no doubt. I’m doing the honorable thing by steering clear of her.  My brain knows this, but I still hate sitting here without her.

My musings come to a halt when I hear my phone signal that there is a text message. Touching my screen, I pull the message up. My blood turns to ice when I see what it is.

Spencer’s sent a photo of Brooke wrapped in some assholes arms, in what is clearly a passionate kiss. Under the picture, the text reads: “Thanks a lot for leaving me with all 3 of them alone asshole. I can’t keep them away from guys like this.  Good work.”

The rage I feel is staggering.  No one should be touching Brooke but me!

As soon as I’ve had that thought, I laugh at myself.  I need to get used to it.

Girls like Brooke don’t stay on the market forever.  She’s going to meet someone, and I’m going to have to smile and deal with it, pretend that everything is okay.

I feel sick to my core inside, and I’m filled with jealousy.  It didn’t take her long to find someone else.  I should be glad of that, but I’m not.  No, what I feel is pretty far from glad.  I feel robbed and bitter.

I want to drink, but getting drunk isn’t the answer.  The danger in drinking would be that once I started self-medicating with alcohol, there would be a chance I could not stop.  Coming from a family of addicts, I’d never take that risk.

The ringing of my cell phone brings me back to reality.  Seeing that it’s Spencer calling, I slide my finger across the answer button.

“Spence, I’m sorry I couldn’t make it but don’t blame me for how they dressed.  Besides, Dante is there.  He should be helping.”

Spencer’s harsh breath is my first clue that something is wrong, and my stomach drops one thousand stories in under a second.

“I didn’t fucking have Dante with me Damien.  I was alone.  The club was packed, and I just couldn’t keep track of all of them at the same time.  Brooke got drunk, too drunk.  Two guys cornered her on the dance floor and wouldn’t let her go.  I saw it from across the club and had to barrel my way over to her as they were trying to take her out of the club.  I got there with seconds to spare.”

I’m off the couch in a flash as I yell in to the phone, “Did they touch her? Is she alright?”

Spencer makes a choked sound and I die a little inside as I wait for his answer.

“They did touch her, but it didn’t get far.  One of them was the guy she was kissing in the photo I sent you earlier.  The other guy appeared to be a friend of his.  They tag teamed her and tried to smuggle her out of the club.  Like I said, I got to her in time.  She was so drunk she couldn’t even walk, so I had to carry her to the cab and then from the cab to the hotel.  I’ve never seen her like that.  Brooke’s normally a pretty straight arrow.  Tonight she was drinking like the devil was on her ass.  I got her back to her suite in the nick of time.  She’s puking her guts out right now.  Sabrina is with her and she’s fine, but I knew you would want to know.”

I’m so upset that I can barely speak.  Making my excuses to Spence, I get off the phone. I’m completely shattered, and I lay my head down on the table.  What have I done?  Why did I touch her?  The answer to both of those questions is that I fucked up, and I’m selfish.  I thought about what I wanted instead of what Brooke deserved.

I can’t leave Spence alone to take care of the girls for another night.  Clearly my running away did not have the desired effect.  A conversation with Brooke is in order.  She needs to understand that I can never be a choice for her.  It’s the only way.

Heading into my bedroom, I pack a bag. Once I’m finished packing, I send a text to Spencer asking what suite Brooke is in.  Once I’ve got his reply, I get in my car and make the drive to Vegas.

I arrive just after six in the morning.  At the front desk I flash my license, purposely concealing the first name, and identify myself as Dante Hart.  After explaining that I lost the card to one of “my” suites, I’m given the key to Brooke’s room.

The ride up in the elevator passes quickly and before I know it, I’m opening the door to Brooke’s suite.

Everything is quiet and dark, which I take as a good sign.  Finding my way to the bedroom, I stand over Brooke’s sleeping form and do a visual check. Even with clear signs of a rough night, she looks gorgeous.

I don’t have the heart to wake her.  Instead, I pull a chair up to the edge of the bed and watch her as she sleeps.  I know I’m not going to win any awards with her for doing this.  Words like “stalker” and “asshole” run through my head.  While I know this is a bad idea, I just need to be near her.

I spent a long time staring at her, wishing that things were different.  At some point I guess I dozed off, and I wake up to a furious Brooke sitting on the edge of the bed yelling at me.

“Goddammit Damien, are you serious right now with this shit?”

Yep, as expected, she’s not thrilled with my turning up in her room unannounced.  Rubbing my hands over my eyes, I try and wake up.  A look at the clock shows that it’s just after nine in the morning. Turning my head back to Brooke, I find her glaring at me.

“I asked you a question Damien.  You’re going to want to answer it.”

“I’m sorry.  I knew you were going to be pissed that I came in while you were sleeping. After Spencer called, I drove all night to get here.  I have no excuse, other than the fact that I needed to see you, to make sure you were okay.”

“This isn’t even a little bit acceptable Damien.  It says that you think I’m some feeble little girl who can’t take care of herself, and I don’t like it. I’m not a child, nor am I your possession. If you wanted to see me, you should have knocked on the damn door.”

Groaning, I cover my eyes with my hands.  I’m fucking things up like a real champ these days.

“You’re right.  Of course you’re right, and I apologize.  I knew you weren’t going to be thrilled about this, but I clearly didn’t think it all the way through.  I assure you, I’m not here because I think you’re a feeble child.  And I know that you aren’t… mine.”

That last bit hurts more to say than it should.  Talk about being a mess.

“Look.  I’m fine.  Other than being hung over and embarrassed, I’m okay.  You didn’t need to sneak in to my room and watch over me like a night nurse.  What can I do for you Damien?”

Dammit.  I knew this would happen when I bailed on the trip and pretended I had a date. That doesn’t make it sting any less though.  I’ve let her down. I can see it in her body language and her facial expression.  What if I’ve gone too far and she hates me?  I’m not sure I could deal with that.

“I imagine that you’re pissed at me about what happened on Sunday after dinner, but don’t push me away Brooke.  I care about you very much, and I didn’t mean to hurt you.  I don’t want to lose our friendship over this.  I’m terribly sorry for anything that I’ve done that has angered you.  Please don’t hate me honey. I don’t think I could survive that.”

She takes in everything I’ve said in silence and appears to weigh her words before answering.

“I can handle that you made a mistake last weekend in the driveway.  What I can’t handle is feeling like a piece of meat.  Opting out of this trip to go on a date… well, it made me feel like an even bigger idiot than I already did.  If your intention was to make me feel like a stupid tramp, mission accomplished.  I get that you don’t want me and that Sunday was a mistake, but what I don’t accept is your immature attempt to send me a message that it meant less than nothing to you, and you’re on to the next girl.  I get it.  You’ve made it abundantly clear.  You didn’t need to bail out on a family trip to send that message.”

For a minute, I can only stare at her.  With blinding clarity, I realize that I am guilty of mistakenly assuming that her age means that she is barely an adult. Clearly, I am very wrong.  She just took me on without batting an eye.  Brooke saw through me completely, and I feel like the lowest form of life.  In a state of shock, I mentally berate myself for being such a fool before I begin speaking.

“Christ Brooke.  It isn’t that I don’t want you.  It’s that I want you too much.  I’m not good enough for you!  You deserve so much better.  I don’t ever want to be in a relationship, and you aren’t the type to have a fling. I fuck sweetheart, and that’s all I do. It means nothing when I do it.  I find girls who want to do what I like to do, and I spend myself in them. When I’m done, I leave.  You don’t want that, and you and I both know it.”

Her face is a mask of shock and she says nothing, so I plow on.

“I was nervous about this weekend, so I decided it would be easier not to come. I didn’t even have a fucking date. I figured if you thought I was with someone else, you would make sure that what happened between us wouldn’t ever happen again.  This is about me Brooke, and what an unworthy fuck up I am.  It’s not you at all.  You’re perfect.  I never intended to make you feel like an idiot or a tramp.  You’re neither of those things. You mean the world to me, and I don’t want to lose you.  Can we start again and get past this?”

The silence stretches between us, heavy and thick.

Finally Brooke says, “You’ve got issues Damien. There were a million different, more mature, ways to deal with what happened on Sunday.  I’m not mad anymore, but I’d be lying if I said I’m not flabbergasted that you thought you had to go to such great lengths to run away.  All you ever had to do was talk to me.”

Shaking her head, she stares at me for a moment before continuing. “Thank you for apologizing.  You owed me that.  We’re going to be fine as long as you behave like an adult from here on out.  I already know that you don’t want to be relationship material.  You didn’t have to go that far.  I’m not stupid.”

Whatever pedestal I was on with her before is gone forever.  I feel sick inside as I process everything that she is saying.  I should feel relieved that my plan to keep her away has been successful.  Instead, I feel like I just lost something magical.  I guess what they say about the road to hell being paved with good intentions is true.

“I never thought you were stupid Brooke.  I’m the idiot.”

“Yes, you are.  But now you can be the idiot that buys me breakfast as soon as I get out of the shower. I’m starving.”

Just like that, she’s ended the conversation, and I have no choice but to plaster a smile on my face and follow her lead… even though it breaks my heart to do so.

I’m straight out fucking lying to her by giving her the impression that I’m not interested in a relationship. With her, I’m very interested, more than she can ever know.

Hell, I’m not having sex with anyone because I don’t get aroused for anyone but her anymore.  She means more to me than anyone aside of my family ever has.  In the end, that’s why I need to make sure that we don’t cross the line.  I love her enough to know that how I feel about her doesn’t make it what she needs.

Pretending that I’m still as shallow as I was when I met her might be a good way to keep her away, but it makes me feel like absolute shit.

CHAPTER NINE

After my conversation with Damien, I did some thinking.  When we talked this morning, I was so hurt by his subterfuge that I didn’t really process everything he said.  A few hours later, I realized that what he said was more important than what he did.

Damien Hart wants me, and according to him, he wants me too much. It’s almost more than I can wrap my mind around. He didn’t kiss me that night in Dante’s driveway because I was just a body. He didn’t invent a bullshit date to keep me at arms-length because he doesn’t want me. He also didn’t drive through the night to come to Vegas to check on me because he thinks of me as a sister.

I’ve concluded that he did all of that because he cares, and he’s scared.  He’s got his mind made up, and I see that I need to tread very carefully, but there is no way in hell that I’m not trying to win him over

I’m going to break down his barriers and get through to him, one way or the other.  I have no idea why he thinks I deserve better than him, and frankly I find that statement baffling.  He doesn’t have a firm understanding of the type of man that he is if he thinks there’s better out there.  Damien is the finest man I know.  His code of honor is absolute, and his misguided efforts to ‘save’ me from him illustrate that perfectly.

Instead of letting him push me away, I’m doubling down.   His defenses can be breached, as long as I do it very carefully.  Patience isn’t one of my dominant character traits, but for Damien, I can wait.  I believe that he will come around, and I know with absolute certainty that he is worth the wait.

A knock at my hotel door halts my planning session.  Checking myself in the mirror one more time, I smile.  Tonight I’ve chosen a long black skirt with long slits on either side.  I’ve paired the skirt with an indigo blue silk blouse and a beautiful pair of Christian Louboutin Trottinette ankle boots.  I’ve styled my hair down in loose waves, but have pulled it back on one side and held in place with a jeweled clip.

Opening the door to my suite, I smile when I see Damien there. Of course he’s the one that comes to pick me up.  He wouldn’t have let anyone else. I see it so much more clearly now.  He can’t stay away.

He lets out a whistle but then grimaces midway. “Alright, that was probably a little inappropriate.  But honestly, I couldn’t help it.  You look ravishing.”

“Aw thanks Damien.  That’s very sweet of you to say.”

He smiles at me as I grab my handbag, and we make our way out of the suite to meet the family for dinner.  Once in the hall, I slide my arm through his as we make our way to the elevators.  It’s a fight not to smirk when I hear his harsh intake of breath as I touch him.

Dinner with the family is fun, as usual.  Spencer is in rare form tonight, and he’s performing for everyone.  He does spot on impressions of a bunch of celebrities, and he’s got us all in stitches for most of the meal.

After dinner, we make our way outside of the restaurant and get into two limousines and head off to see a show at the Mirage. I've made sure to stick close to Damien without being obvious.  I'm trying to break his defenses down, not stalk him.

Luck was in my favor tonight, because when Damien handed out our tickets for the show, my seat was right next to his.  Score!

The rest of the evening passes in a happy blur, and before I know it we're back at the hotel.  Delilah and Dominique are itching to go clubbing, but after what happened last night, I want no parts of it.  I claim fatigue and beg off for the night, heading up to my suite to watch a movie.

I was shocked when Damien came running up behind me while I was waiting for the elevator.

"Hey.  Are you okay?"

I smiled at him and nodded.  "Yes, of course.  Don't tell the others, I just don't feel up to clubbing here after what happened last night."

The flash of anger in his eyes is downright chilling, but thankfully he gets it quickly under control.

"I’m so fucking sorry that I wasn't there last night sweetheart.  None of this ever would happened if I'd done what I should have and come with you.  I put you in jeopardy with my selfishness."

Shoving at his chest, I glare at him.  "Stop it.  You aren't responsible for what happened.  I'm the one that got drunk and then made the bad choice of dancing with that fool."

Just at that moment, the elevator gives a ping and the doors slide open.  Smiling up at Damien, I step inside.  "Have fun tonight.  I'll see you all in the morning."

I startle when he steps in after me and presses the button for our floor.  Raising an eyebrow at my shocked expression, he stares at me for a moment.  "Seriously?  You really thought I was just going to leave you alone?  Obviously, I'm staying here with you.  How about we order some dessert from room service and watch a movie?"

Normally I'd argue with him and point out that I'm not some hapless woman who can't be alone.  But right now, he's playing right into my hands by staying, so I'll be saying nothing.  The more time we spend together, the better.

I force myself not to grin like an idiot and instead settle on what I hope is a normal smile.  "That sounds like fun.  Thank you."

Once in my suite, we spend a few minutes looking at the room service menu and choosing desserts.   I choose a slice of chocolate cake and Damien orders a black and white milkshake.

After the order is placed Damien runs to his room to change in to jeans and a t-shirt while I change in to a pair of emerald green silk boxer shorts and a tiny white midriff baring t-shirt, sans bra.

The look on his face when he comes back in to my suite is priceless.  There is nothing indecent about what I'm wearing, but now that I know that he's attracted to me, I know it's driving him wild.

While we wait for room service, we go through the on demand and choose a movie.  I let him talk me in to Paranormal Activity, knowing it will give me an excuse to cling to him if I get "scared."

When dessert comes, we dig in with gusto.  I moan when I bite in to the delicious chocolate cake.  "Oh god Damien, it's so good."

I actually didn't mean that in any kind of a sexual way, so when his eyes flare with arousal as he stares at my mouth, for a moment I'm surprised.  Once I realize why he's got that look on his face, I kick it up a notch by licking my lips.

Getting another forkful of cake, I hold it out for him to take a bite.  His eyes startle up to mine and his throat moves as he swallows.  Leaning forward, he takes his bite of the cake.

Smiling at him I say, "Isn't it delicious?"

He nods his head as he continues chewing.  Knowing that I have his full attention, I bring the fork back up to my mouth and lick it.  "Mm.  You left some behind and I don't want to waste any of this."

The heat in his eyes as he watches me lick the fork has my panties soaked.

Letting out a low growl, he's across the couch to me in seconds, pulling me in to his arms as his mouth covers mine.

His tongue, oh god, his tongue.  I shiver and moan as his tongue connects with mine, the rhythm of the kiss sometimes fast, sometimes slow.  It’s his turn to moan when I suck his tongue in to my mouth, and I thrill at the sound.

Pulling back, he stares at me, eyes completely glazed over with pure lust.  "Baby, you taste better than any fucking cake ever will."

The flutter in my stomach increases as he pulls me back in to him, kissing me even more passionately.  It's good that we're sitting, because I can feel my legs trembling.

Fisting my hands in his hair, I kiss him back with abandon.  Pulling back a bit, I suck on his lower lip before biting it.

"Oh fuck Brooke.  Fuck!"

I nod in agreement.  Fuck is right.

Fuck me, I hope.

Lifting me up, he arranges me so that I'm straddling him.  Letting out a breathy groan, I rub up against his rock hard cock through his jeans.  Our kiss goes on and on, his hands holding my waist as he helps me slide back and forth on him.

Throwing my head back, I shout as I cum.  I don't know how he does it, but he makes me absolutely insane with lust.  I just came harder dry humping him than I have since he had his fingers on me last Sunday.

When he suddenly starts to stand up with me still on his lap my heart drops.  Dammit, he's going to run again.

"Wrap your legs around me sweetheart."

As soon as I comply, he walks straight in to the bedroom.  Laying me gently down on the bed, he covers my body with his, kissing me as he thrusts against my drenched cleft.

"Damien! You feel so damn good."

I thrill when I feel him start to make his way down, the view of his head kissing his way down my body is a sight to behold.

Looking up at me, he captures my gaze, holding me hostage with his beautiful eyes.  Right now they are the dark blue of a storm.

When he speaks, his voice is gravelly with lust.  "I need to taste you.  Right now."

I watch in quiet desperation as he pulls my silk boxer shorts and underwear off in one smooth move, tossing them carelessly over his shoulder. The look on his face as he stares at me is downright intoxicating.  "Oh sweetheart, you're so beautiful."

Is it possible to cum just from mental stimulation?  Because I’m pretty damn sure that I'm right on the verge of doing just that. When he spreads my thighs, I watch in awe as his face descends down toward my dripping sex.  At the last moment, he looks up at me.

"Oh Brooke…you're so perfect that it makes me ache."

His words, the expression on his face and the feeling of his breath on my sex hit me all at the same time, and I arch my back as I let out a yell.  "Oh god Damien, I'm going to cum again!"

"Yes, yes you are."

Just like that, his thumbs spread my lips, holding me open for his tongue.

I erupt with a scream as a Technicolor light show goes off behind my eyes.  "Damien!  Damien!"

If I live to be a hundred, I will never forget this moment.  Only he can make me feel this way.  Out of control, but overjoyed to be that way.  I'm happy from the inside out.

I get even happier when I realize that he isn't going to stop.  If there were an award ceremony for most talented tongue, he'd win it so many times that they'd have to name it after him, of that I have no doubt.

My body reaches a fever pitch when his tongue starts sliding in and out of my sex at a furious pace while his finger rubs my clit.

"Baby! Your fucking tongue!"  I shimmy and writhe, my hands fisted in his hair as I thrust against his tongue, screaming as I cum harder than I ever have.

Kissing his way up my body, he helps me pull my shirt off before lying me back down on the bed so that he can suck my nipples.

Incoherent words of passion flow between the two of us as he continues working his way up to my mouth.

"Fuck Brooke.  Just fuck.  You’re making me crazy.  All I can think about is you.”

I let out a muffled cry as he captures my mouth in a kiss that leaves no doubt about how badly he wants me.  This is it.  Tonight’s the night.  He’s going to make me his, and I want it so badly that I can hardly function.

Completely naked, I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his shoulders, giving myself up to him completely.  The feeling of his rigid cock through his jeans is making me wild, and rubbing up against it is only making me crazier.

Suddenly, he’s off me like a shot as he whispers, “Oh shit!”

I don’t get it.  He was right there with me!  What the hell happened?

My answer comes in the form of a knock at the door.

Oh shit is right.

CHAPTER TEN

Although Brooke was a bit reserved after our conversation this morning, I’ve been surprised by how normal she’s been acting ever since.

I know that I should be relieved, but I'm not.  I feel like it was easier for her to walk away and let this go because she doesn't have the feelings for me that I have for her.  Logically, that should ease my mind.  I'm doing all of this so that she will wind up with somebody worthy of her.

Illogically, my mind is far from eased. Sitting in my room before dinner, I had to reel myself back from falling in to a depressed funk, my inner voice pointing out what a pathetic fool I am over and over.  "All of that worry, and she doesn't even care for me.  Not really."

It takes me quite a while to talk myself down from thoughts like that.  In the end I decide that since it's clearly easier for her to move on, I need to follow her lead.

Taking a deep breath and mentally girding myself for the night ahead, I leave my suite and make my way down the hall to Brooke's.

As she opens the door, it's all I can do not to grab her.  She's so beautiful that it hurts to look at her.  Before I can edit my reaction, I start to let out a whistle, then catch myself.

“Alright, that was probably a little inappropriate.  But honestly, I couldn’t help it.  You look ravishing.”

Her smile lights up her face and my heart twinges. “Aw thanks Damien.  That’s very sweet of you to say.”

She has no idea.  There is nothing sweet about all the ways I want to take her.  My eyes never leave her as she walks across the room to get her handbag.  Stepping into the hall, I smile at her as we start to walk to the elevator.  My heart skips a beat and I all but groan when she slides her arm through mine. She's like a generator, and I feel the shock of her touch everywhere.

Thankfully dinner with my family is lively and allows us all to relax.  Something's hovering on the edge of my mind about my brother though, and it's driving me nuts.  I can't figure out what's up with him.

He's been both unbelievably happy lately and ridiculously grumpy.  Just two weeks ago he bit off my head when I'd suggested that Sabrina would make a good project manager.  I don't know what's going on with him though, because he's always busy lately and I hardly see him outside of work.

Whatever is going on with him doesn't seem to be affecting Sabrina though.  She practically radiates joy and light, even more than usual.  In addition to being his right hand at work, she's become his best friend, so since she hasn't said anything about his behavior, I assume that it's not something major. He seems fine tonight, and that helps put my mind at ease, at least where he's concerned.

I can’t dwell on it, because Brooke's sitting right next to me, and as usual it's all I can do to concentrate.  It should be illegal to smell as good as she does, to have a voice that draws me in like a sirens song.  A big part of me suspects that Brooke was sent in to my life as punishment for all the terrible things that I did. What other reason could the universe have for putting a girl that pulls draws me to her like no one else ever has?  It’s torture, pure and simple.

After dinner, we all head off to see a show at the Mirage.  Glutton for punishment that I am, I made sure when I handed out the tickets that Brooke would be sitting next to me at the show.  I know this is ridiculous, but I can't bear not to be near her.

We all head back to the hotel after the show to drop Brooke off because Delilah, Dominique and Spencer decided that they want to go clubbing.  Brooke says that she’s tired, but I can tell that’s a load of crap.  With a smile and a wave, she heads off for the elevators.

After telling my sisters and Spence that I’m going to spend the night in with Brooke, I run after her.  "Hey.  Are you okay?"

Giving me a smile, she nods.  "Yes, of course.  Don't tell the others, I just don't feel up to clubbing here after what happened last night."

Of course! How dense am I?  Dammit, this is my fault.  She was put in harm’s way because I’m an asshole.

"I am so fucking sorry that I wasn't there last night sweetheart.  None of this ever would happened if I'd done what I should have and come with you.  I put you in jeopardy with my selfishness."

Shoving at my chest, she glares at me.  "Stop it.  You aren't responsible for what happened.  I'm the one that made the bad choice of dancing with that fool."

As the elevator arrives, she steps in.  "Have fun tonight.  I'll see you all in the morning."

Does she really imagine that I’m just going to go off and club for the rest of the night while she stays here?

"Seriously?  You really thought I was just going to leave you alone?  Obviously, I'm staying here with you.  How about we order some dessert from room service and watch a movie?"

I’m sure she’s going to fight me about this, but I have no intention of leaving her alone.  I’m downright shocked when she just smiles and says, "That sounds like fun.  Thank you."

Once we’re in Brooke’s suite, we spend a few minutes perusing the room service menu, picking out desserts.   She picks a slice of chocolate cake and I get a black and white milkshake.  Lord knows I could use the cooling off.

After I place the order, I head to my room to change. When I get back to Brooke’s suite, I immediately regret suggesting a change to more casual clothing.  She’s changed in to a pair of emerald green silk boxer shorts and a tiny white midriff baring t-shirt… and it’s clear she isn’t wearing a bra.  It’s not slutty, but I can just make out the faintest impression of her nipples.

It takes all of my inner reserves to keep my hands off of her and continue walking to the couch area.  Grabbing the remote, I start going through the on demand channels as we decide what movie to watch.  Eventually we settle on “Paranormal Activity.”

The struggle not to touch her is getting harder by the moment. Once room service arrives, I grab on to my milkshake like it’s a lifeline, taking a few large sips in the hopes of cooling the fuck down.  The effort is immediately rendered useless when Brooke moans as she takes a bite of her chocolate cake.

"Oh god Damien, it's so good."

I don’t think there is one ounce of blood anywhere in my body other than my cock.  Staring at her luscious lips, I imagine her saying that as she pops her mouth off my cock after sucking me, and I damn near cum right then and there.  When she licks her lips, I feel my dick twitch in my pants.

I’m so out of it that when she holds her fork out to give me a bite, I don’t immediately take it because I’m so busy watching her mouth.  Realizing that I need to take the bite, I lean forward and quickly eat the piece she’s holding out to me.

Smiling at me she says, "Isn't it delicious?"

Is it?  I could be eating sawdust right now and I’m not sure I would notice. It’s all I can do to nod my head in the affirmative, and even that comes to a stop when I watch her little tongue come out to lick the fork.

"Mm.  You left some behind and I don't want to waste any of this."

I’m trying so damn hard to be good, but my brain provides a visual where the fork is my cock and the chocolate is my cum, and it’s all I can do not to throw her to the couch, rip her little silk boxers off,  and thrust in to her.

It’s game over, victory Brooke.  I slide across the couch to her and pull her in to my arms.  I no longer care about right or wrong.  I need her so badly that I don’t think I can go another night without having her.

Her taste and her scent surround me, drawing me in to her further.  She’s absolute perfection, the embodiment of every fantasy I’ve ever had.  Our kiss is fast, then slow, loving then feral.  I feel as if I’ve just jumped from a plane and then landed in silken comfort.

I can only moan when she sucks my tongue into her mouth. How does she do this to me?

Pulling back, I stare at her beautifully flushed face.  "Baby, you taste better than any fucking cake ever will."

Fisting my hair in her hands, she throws everything she has in to kissing me.  To say that she’s got skill is a huge understatement.  I hold on for dear life as she sucks on my lower lip before biting it.

"Oh fuck Brooke.  Fuck!"

Any semblance of self-control has left the building.  Lifting her up, I pull her on top of me and arrange her so that she straddles me.  She’s so hot that I can feel the heat of her through our layers of clothing.  Moaning, she rubs up against my cock, bringing me closer and closer to the edge.  My hands are like steel bars around her waist as I move her against my iron girth, my sole purpose in life to give her as much pleasure as humanly possible.

I watch through hooded eyes as she rides me, her breathy cries both a gift and a curse.  Throwing her head back, she cums with a cry.

My beautiful girl is with me all the way, and I need her so much that I ache with it.  Standing, I pull her in to my arms.  "Wrap your legs around me sweetheart."

The walk to the bedroom is made so quickly, it’s as though I floated there. I love carrying her, having her so close to me.  Laying her gently down on the bed, I cover her body with mine before I return to kissing her, giving little thrusts against her core.

"Damien! Oh Damien!  You feel so damn good."

Do I?  I can’t imagine I feel near as good to her as she does to me.  One more hard thrust pulls a small scream from her as she violently spasms under me again.

Now I need her to cum on my tongue.  I need to taste her, to draw her in to my body.

As I make my way down her body, I pause and look at her.  "I need to taste you.  Right now."

The nod she gives me is all the go ahead I need.  Grabbing her silk boxers and her underwear, I pull them off and toss them away.

The first look at her naked sex damn near has me cumming in my pants like a teenage boy.  "Oh sweetheart, you're so beautiful."

I can smell how turned on she is, how wet she is.  My eyes gobble up the sight of her drenched sex as well as the clearly visible cream that has leaked out on to her thighs.  Hovering over her, I breathe in as I continue to stare.  My heart swells in my chest as I realize that all of my dreams are about to come true.

Before I go down the rest of the way, I look up at her again.  "Oh Brooke…you're so perfect that it makes me ache."

"Oh god Damien, I'm going to cum again!"

"Yes, yes you are."

I spread her lips with my thumbs, holding her open for my tongue as I finally get to taste her.  As expected, the taste of her is addictive.  I’ve never been with anyone who turns me on as much as she does, not even close.

"Damien!  Damien!"

Literally hundreds of women have cum under my tongue over the years.  Not one of them ever meant anything to me.  I don’t think I could even pull one of their names out of my head.  For me, there is only Brooke.

My heart hammers out her name with each beat as I lap up her cream, sliding my tongue in to her soaked crevice as I mimic what I want to do to her with my dick.

"Baby!  Your fucking tongue!"

I’d have thought it would be impossible to want her more, but the sound of her calling me baby has me damn near insane with lust.  Never before has an endearment meant so much to me.

Kissing my way from her thighs on up, I help her pull her shirt off and then latch onto one of her nipples.  She’s so beautiful, so naked… and she’s all mine.

I lick and nip and suck at her breasts, running my tongue over each nipple again and again before I head back up to her mouth.  Holding her head between my hands, I lick her bottom lip.

"Fuck Brooke.  Just fuck.  You’re making me crazy.  All I can think about is you.”

I hold nothing back, kissing her in a way that leaves no doubt that I’m about to take her.  I groan low in my throat as she wraps her legs around me.  It’s finally happening! My girl is beautifully naked, amazingly responsive and I’m not turning back.  From this moment on, she’s mine.

When I hear the knock at the door, I ignore it at first.  The second time I hear it, I realize what the sound is, and what it means.  Someone from one of our families has to be on the other side.

Jumping off of her I whisper, “Oh shit!”

Brooke and I stare at each other like two deer caught in the headlights as there is another knock at the door.

“Brooke?  Are you in there?”

There is no mistaking the sound of Sabrina’s voice.  A moment later, Brooke’s cell phone rings.  She stares at it until it rings for the third time before answering.  I get right away what her plan is when she makes her voice sound like she’s just woken up.  “Lo?”

I can only hear the one side, but it’s clear that Sabrina was just checking in on her sister.  Sabrina asks Brooke where I am, and Brooke responds that she’d told me she was tired and that I left to go out.  The conversation ends soon after that.

Talk about being saved by the bell.  Once again, my dick is writing checks that it shouldn’t be.

Leaning in to kiss her lips, I gently run my hand down Brooke’s face.  “Your sister just saved us from making a huge mistake.  I know you’re going to be mad now, but someday you will thank me for walking away.  You deserve so much better.”

Stepping back, I take in her look of frustration.  It will serve me right if she hates me and never speaks to me again.

“Just friends. That’s all we can ever be.”

The look she gives me is equal parts sadness, anger and bitterness, and my stomach churns just from the look.  Turning on my heel, I all but run from the suite.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

I think that I got through these last few weeks just being ‘friends’ with Damien by sheer force of will alone.  There have been many times that I’ve silently applauded myself for how well I believe I’ve managed to pull this off.  I’ve got acting chops that I never knew about.

I’ve tried to go out with my new roommates to meet guys. I even went on a date with a guy from my business math class. No one else has even come close to measuring up to how I feel toward Damien. I think that, at this point, I’m just hurting myself with this.  He isn’t going to change, and I need to channel my lustful cravings in another direction.

I can see that Damien is struggling to adhere to his hands off policy.  We’re still together a lot, and he watches me like a hawk.  I need to either get over him or make him stop pushing me away, but I’m not confident in my ability to do either.

Tonight I’m headed out with Damien, his sisters and mine to a local dance club.  My sister has been off lately, and I’ve been worried, so I was quite relieved when Damien texted to let me know that she agreed to come out with us tonight.

She isn’t saying why, but I can see that she’s clearly been in the dumps lately. No amount of me asking what the heck is going on has gotten an honest answer out of her.  I’d assume it was guy troubles if it weren’t for the fact that, like me, my sister hasn’t dated anyone in forever.  At this point I’m worried that she’s being sucked back into the funk she was in after our parents died.  No matter what, tomorrow morning I am taking her to breakfast and getting out of her what’s happening.

I’ve chosen a sexy little white dress that drapes beautifully over my body, accenting all of the right areas.  The front of the dress is form fitting, but the real wow factor comes from the back of the dress, which leaves almost my entire back totally exposed. It’s borderline indecent, and I love it.

Tonight I’ve styled my hair up to accent my naked back.  My make-up is dramatic but fresh.  Paired with my Jimmy Choo crisscross platform sandals, the look is fresh and dynamic.  Finishing it all off with a spritz of my favorite raspberry body mist; I survey myself in the mirror and smile.

Saying goodbye to my roommates, I go out to my car and drive off for Damien’s house.  I make excellent time, getting there a bit earlier than everyone else.  I smile to myself when I realize that I’m going to be able to spend a few minutes alone with him before the others turn up.

Even after all this time, I still get butterflies when I see him.  His appeal to me is potent, and it packs quite a punch.  Tonight he’s dressed all in black and I hold myself still as I take it all in without turning to liquid.  Damien is too gorgeous sometimes.

Smiling at him in my most unaffected way, I give him a quick hug and kiss on the cheek before stepping across the threshold.  As I sail past him, I smirk to myself when I hear his sharp intake of breath when he gets a load of the back of my dress.

Taking a seat on the edge of his leather couch, I smile brightly at him as he stares at me and I pretend not to notice that anything is wrong.

Making a choking sound, he gestures to my dress.  I arch an eyebrow at him like I don’t understand what he’s getting at while my inner diva silently applauds my performance.  Stomping over to where I’m sitting he takes a seat across from me and gestures again before speaking.

“Are you trying to give me a heart attack with that outfit? Dammit Brooke, there is no fucking way I’m letting men ogle you all night in that.  No fucking way.  You need to go home and get changed.  That dress is indecent.”

It’s hard, but somehow I keep a totally straight face while I shake my head at him.  “Damien, please.  You’re acting like an old fart.  I love what I’m wearing.  I look damn good, and I’m not changing out of it.  If you don’t like it, keep your opinion to yourself.  At last check, you aren’t the fashion police.”

He gapes at me for a moment before regaining his composure, and I can tell that him off guard with my reaction to what he said.

“I’m not an old fart dammit.  I didn’t say I don’t like what you were wearing.  You look incredible, and you know it.  Don’t twist my words honey.  I’m just worried about what’s going to happen when men see you in that.  I’m going to be beating guys off of you all night. ”

I give him my most exasperated look.  “Unless I ask for help, keep your overbearing big brother comments to yourself.  I’m not trying to stay single forever. I don’t want you scaring people off.”

Fortunately right at that moment the door opens, and Dominique walks in with Delilah hot on her heels, saving me from further discussion with Damien.  Jumping from the couch I go and hug the girls.  They look crazy sexy, and I shake my head at how beautiful these two are. The Hart gene pool is ridiculously good.

We all head in to the kitchen and sit on the stools at the island as Damien grabs each of us a bottle of water.  We’re waiting on Rina’s arrival so that we can leave, and we have a few minutes to sit and shoot the breeze.  My contribution to the conversation mostly revolves around how unhappy I am in the apartment I moved in to for this semester.  My roommate Lydia is just ridiculous, and I’m constantly on alert because she’s got people that my other roommate and I don’t know in and out of the apartment at all hours of the day and night.  I’m very much looking forward to moving out of the apartment at the end of the school year, even though that's still a couple months down the line.

The conversation concludes when my sister arrives and we all take turns hugging and kissing her.  I’m so glad to see her out.  She’s been down lately, but she looks sexy as hell tonight.  We all spend a few more minutes talking and then Damien ushers us all to his Escalade.  Sabrina sits in the passenger seat, and the rest of us climb in to the back, giggling and laughing as we all continue talking.

The club we wind up at is the new “it” club in LA and it is impressive.  We start out in the VIP lounge where we have a few drinks and talk some more, and then we head out to the dance floor.

I’m so happy to see my sister unwinding and smiling, behaving more like her usual self.  I’m even happy that she’s consumed four apple-tinis.  She needs fun.  All of us are enjoying a marvelous time, and the hours fly by as we dance.

Leaning in to me Sabrina yells, “I’ll be right back.  I’m going to go get some water.”

I smile and give her a nod as I continue dancing.  A minute later Damien grabs me and says, “Where did Rina go?  Is everything ok?”

I nod and lean in to answer him, taking in his sexy as sin scent as I do so.  “She’s OK.  She went to get a drink or something.”

Shaking his head at me, he says, “You know how I feel about any of you going off on your own.  Stay with the girls, I’m going to go with your sister.”

Watching him walk away, I smile. He’s so overprotective.  It touches my heart that he cares so much. Dominique, Delilah and I keep right on dancing.  I love these girls so much.  They’ve become almost as vital to me as my sister is.

About ten minutes pass before Damien comes back. He puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me to him so that he can speak in to my ear, and I shiver with awareness.  I struggle to get my bearings as he lets me know that Sabrina has the beginnings of a migraine and that he’s going to take her home.

I immediately tell him that I’ll leave and go with him, but he tells me that Sabrina doesn’t want the rest of us to leave.  He stands firm when I tell him that is ridiculous, and he goes so far as to tell me that if we insist on leaving it’s only going to upset my sister.

Eventually I agree to stay, and he smiles at me with what looks like relief.  Leaning in again he tells me that Spencer is on his way. He hands me our licenses, instructing me to pass them along to Spence when he arrives.  Taking me in to his arms for a hug, he brushes his lips across my forehead in a kiss and then turns and says goodbye to his sisters.

Not long after Damien leaves Spencer shows up.  I laugh when he holds his hand out for our driver’s licenses, and I hand them to him.  He and Damien are so paranoid that they don’t let the girls and I ever carry a purse.  Instead, they carry our licenses for us.  Since we don’t need money or anything when we are out with them, it works out well.

The rest of the night passes quickly, and the next thing I know it’s time to go.  We’re headed out when I hear Dominique yell “Dante!”  Turning, I see Dante standing by himself against a wall next to the bar.  He didn’t hear his sister calling for him, and he doesn’t move.  He looks pensive and not to happy, but his expression perks up when he sees Dominique.

We all head over to him and spend a few minutes giving hugs and saying hello.  The conversation is going along just, but then Delilah mentions that Sabrina started out the night with us but then left when Damien took her home because something was wrong.  I attempt to butt in and tell him that it was just a migraine, but before I can get a word out he’s making his excuses and leaving.

For a moment, I wonder what that was all about, but then chalk it up to the fact that he seemed unhappy before we approached him.  He’s probably just having a difficult night.

CHAPTER TWELVE

Watching Brooke dance is utterly enthralling.  Her natural grace serves her well, and I struggle to keep myself under control.  She’s so damn sexy that it’s almost too much. I want to rage out and punch every piece of shit I see ogling her.  MINE, my brain screams. Stop looking at her you assholes! I groan in agony as I watch her body shimmy and sway to the beat. Her tight little ass looks scrumptious, and that dress that she’s wearing! It should be illegal. I almost died when she walked through the door tonight, and I’ve been struggling not to throw myself at her all night.

I’d want Brooke even if she were wearing a burlap sack. It’s harder to resist when she comes out looking as sexy as she does tonight.  You’d think that, after knowing her for almost a year and a half, I’d be used to it, and better able to control my reactions. If anything, it’s becoming more difficult by the hour.  It’s gotten even harder since Vegas.  Now I know what she tastes like, and there are times that I can barely function because I can’t stop remembering it.

I’m so engrossed with watching the sway of her hips that I totally miss Sabrina walking off. Realizing that she’s missing from the group, I quickly search my memory to remember the last time I saw her, and I realize it’s been a few minutes.

Grabbing Brooke I ask where her sister went.  When she tells me that Sabrina wandered off by herself, I head off to look for her.

Sabrina is standing just inside the entrance to the VIP room, and I let out a relieved breath to see that she’s alone and seems to be alright.  Coming to a stop next to her, I try to figure out why she isn’t moving.  Then I get a look at her face.  It’s a mask of agony, and I feel a surge of panic.  What the hell is upsetting her?

Following her gaze, I see my brother across the room, sitting at a table with a woman that I would normally call a Dante fuck bot.  The gears in my head start turning at quite a clip as one memory after another of the last few months comes back to me.

Sabrina was so happy for a while, and then suddenly she wasn’t.  I’ve been extremely concerned about how fragile she has looked of late. At one point, I thought it was because of the guy she danced with in her competition, but she had told me that it wasn’t because of him.  She swore she wasn’t seeing anyone, and I’d come to the conclusion that she was probably having a delayed reaction to her parents death. I was so concerned about Rina that I overlooked the signals that my brother was throwing out, never putting together that the two things are connected.

Dante hasn’t been himself for quite a while.  He is touchy, short tempered, sad, distracted and unreasonable. Why the fuck are they both…

Just like that, it hits me.  Sabrina and Dante were involved.  Something happened here.  For whatever reason, my brother broke his own rules, and now the shit is hitting the fan.

My gaze slides back to Sabrina just as she turns to leave and I see the exact moment she realizes that I’m there.  Her face is a riot of thoughts and emotions as she tries to figure out how much I’ve seen.

Grabbing her hand, I pull her from the VIP room. I grimace when Sabrina tries to play it off by telling me that she just saw Dante, and it caught her off guard.  She tries to make an end run around me, but I put halt her progress.  We need to talk.

Giving her arm a tug, I maneuver her in to the coat check and restroom hallway.  Staring down at her I ask, “Sabrina.  How long were you with my brother?”

At first she makes a shocked face and tries to tell me that nothing happened, but she’s a terrible liar and I see right through it.

“I know what I saw Sabrina.  It all makes sense now.  His outburst the day I said you would be a terrific project manager.  The overnight bag I saw as you were leaving his house that day when he was in such a terrible mood.  The way you have both been acting.  I see it clearly now.”

I watch as all the fight goes out of her.  After a minute, she shakes her head.  “Yes, something happened.  It didn’t mean anything, and it came to an end.  It’s over, nothing to worry about.  Please just let this go.”

Shit.  This is so much worse than I thought.

“Bullshit.  I think it is something to worry about.  And I know you Sabrina.  It meant something.  He hurt you.  It was all over your face back there.  I get it now.  It’s in how sad you look every day when you think no one is paying attention.  It’s the bags under your eyes that say you don’t sleep.  It’s the way you’ve been trying so hard to appear happy these last few weeks.  It’s been alarming to watch you be stretched so thin every day.  I’ve been worried, and that’s just how I felt when I thought it was some guy that doesn’t share blood with me.  Now that I know its Dante, I’m terrified.  He’s destroying you.  I should have realized how weird it was that Dante wasn’t saying anything about how off you have been.”

She gives me what I’m sure she thinks is a reassuring smile, but what comes out is something that causes my gut to clench in fear.

“Damien, what do you want me to say?  I’m OK.  I’m not falling apart.  I don’t know why you think that. Don’t blow this up to be something it isn’t.”

Damn her and her attempts to cover for that son of a bitch!  He should never have touched her.  I’m not letting her lie to me.  I need to know what happened so that I can deal with Dante.

“Is that how you’re going to play it Sabrina?  You’re fine?  Feeling good?  No problems?  You haven’t any feelings for my brother at all?  If that’s true, let’s go say hello to him and the new flavor of the month.  Shouldn’t be a problem, right?”

I have to give her credit for trying, even though I can see it costs her.  “No Damien, it won’t be a problem.  Let’s go say hello.”

I shake my head at her in frustration, taking her arm as I walk us back to the VIP area to talk to Dante and the fuck bot of the week.

The second that I see that the woman has climbed in to his lap and is leaning in to kiss him, I know I’ve made a horrible mistake forcing Sabrina to come back in here.  This was cruel and unnecessary, and I know it’s going to hurt her. That was never my intention.

I see the exact moment that she realizes what’s happening at Dante’s table, and I’m sick for her.  When she shoves past me and hauls ass to the bathroom, I know it is time to get her the fuck out of here.

Striding in to the hallway outside the bathrooms I call Spencer. The conversation is short, sweet and to the point.

“I don’t care who you’re about to fuck.  Get your ass to this club and take care of the girls.  Sabrina isn’t feeling well, and I’ve got to take her home.  I’m not leaving them alone in this meat market.”

Spencer doesn’t need to be asked twice.  “Fuck no; you’re not leaving them alone!  Tell the girls I’ll be there within thirty minutes.”

I haul ass back out on to the dance floor and grab Brooke to let her know that I’m taking Sabrina home.  I’ve no choice but to bring her in close to me as I bend and speak in to her ear, and even in this time of crisis I can still feel my heart start beating a rhythm for her.

I tell her that Sabrina has a headache and wants to leave, pushing all of Brooke’s attempts to leave with us aside.  Eventually she surrenders, and I head back to the ladies room to see if Sabrina has come out yet.

Just my luck, she’s still in there.  Steeling my nerves for the sound of women screaming for me to get the fuck out, I open the door and make my way inside.  Fortunately shock seems to be holding the vocal chords of the women present hostage.  Only one stall door is closed, so I know just where Sabrina is.  Knocking on the door, I tell Rina that I’m there.

When she flings the door open, I’m relieved to see that she’s holding it together and isn’t crying.  Staring at me exasperatedly she says, “I’m OK, but honestly Damien.  You’re in a ladies room!”

I shrug my shoulders at her.  “Honestly, I don’t give a shit.  You’re upset, and you’re hurting.  You need a friend, and I’m here.  I’m assuming you don’t want Brooke or the girls to know about this.  That being the case, I told them that you have a migraine and want to go home. I’ve arranged for Spencer to come get them. I’ve still got your ID in my pocket, and I already gave the Brooke and the twins theirs back, so we’re able to go.”

She nods her consent to my plan, and we make our way out of the club.  Within minutes, I am helping her in to the passenger seat of my Escalade.

The drive to Sabrina’s is made in silence.  No music, no conversation.  Thirty minutes later we are pulling in to her driveway.  I hop out and hurry around to her door so that I can open it for her.

Once in the house, we both make our way to her living room.  As she takes her shoes off I take the opportunity to look around.  There are pictures of Sabrina, Broke and their parents everywhere.  My stomach clenches as I take in the beautiful family with the loving smiles.  This is just another reminder of why I’m not suitable for Brooke.  Forcing myself in to the here and now, I waste not time addressing Sabrina.

“How long did this go on?”

My tension eases a bit as I watch her make the decision to confess.

“The first time was the night of my dance competition. It ended the morning you came over and I was leaving his house.”

I try hard not to telegraph to Sabrina that I am stunned by her revelation.  Their affair went on for so long.  What was my brother thinking?

“Shit.  Yeah, that makes sense. He has always been attracted to you, and I knew he was hanging by a remarkably thin thread the day of the competition.  I just assumed he reeled it in, like he always did.  Guess I was wrong.”

We stare at each other in silence for a moment before Sabrina nods her head at me.

“I only found out later that he was attracted to me.  I never even suspected until that night.”

Christ, she still doesn’t see it.

“He was a lot more than attracted. Still, he damn well knew to steer clear of you.  I’m furious with him right now.  He knew doing this could only hurt you.  I’m going to knock his ass out for that.”

My gut clenches when she shakes her head at me in frustration.  Dammit, she is going to defend what he has done.

“No! Damien.  No.  This is my fault.  He gave me the out, more than once.  He was never less than honest with me.  He told me from the get go that he would never, could never, commit.  I was a fool for thinking I could handle what that meant.  I went in to this with my eyes open.  I’m just paying the price now for not realizing what that would feel like.”

Just like that, the other shoe drops.  I knew this was a serious problem, but it’s a lot more than that.  This is going to destroy her.

“Oh hell Sabrina…  Shit.  It’s worse than I thought.  You aren’t just suffering because it is over.  You’re in love with him.”

My heart feels uncomfortably tight in my chest as Sabrina’s facade crumbles and tears start to leak out of her eyes.  I’m out of my chair and on the couch with her in seconds.

“I’m…fine… I never cr-cry in front of people.  I’m ok.”

“Shh.  Let it out.  You need to let it out.  Let yourself go for a minute.  I’m here.”

I let her cry it out as I rage on the inside at what a fucking moron my brother is.  How could he ignore the baggage that we come with?  There is no excuse for this!

Finally, I sense that she has wound down and is no longer as fragile.  Grabbing a tissue from the side table, I dab away her tears.  Sabrina has a lot of the same qualities that draw me to Brooke, and I understand why my brother found her irresistible.  It doesn’t make it right, but I get it.

“You truly are lovely.  You manage to be beautiful even when you cry.  Got to say, if Dante had not figuratively put up ‘no trespassing’ tape around you the second he met you, I’d have come after you myself.  Of course, then I wouldn’t have you as an honorary sister, and that would be a loss.  He is a damn fool for not locking you down.”

She shakes her head sadly at me, looking as though I’ve just broken off another piece of her heart.    “Oh please Damien.  You’re even less likely to commit than he is.”

Ouch.  She packs a punch, just like her sister.

“You’re right.  Dante and I both learned early in our lives that commitment in our family is a death sentence.  It just isn’t possible. You are the real thing, and I’d have run from you at lightning speed long before it ever got to where you and Dante wound up.”

I see the gears turning in her head, and I know what’s coming before she even opens her mouth.

“Damien.  I need you to be honest with me.  It’s time for me to know what made Dante the way he is.  Can you please tell me why the two of you don’t believe in relationships?  What happened that you both feel this way?”

Tilting my head back, I let out a breath and close my eyes.  Internally I struggle with the decision.  To disclose or not to disclose?  How angry would Dante be?  Will this help Sabrina?  In the end, I decide that if it helps her at all, I have to do it.  Opening my eyes, I nod at her.

“Your parents died before we met, but there are pictures all over this room of you all as a family, smiling and laughing.  I've also heard you and Brooke talk about them enough that I know that you all loved each other.  They valued you both, treated you well, took care of you and parented you.  What Dante and I grew up with was… the exact opposite of that.”

“I was four years old the first time I can remember our parents leaving us home alone.  It wasn’t the first time, and it certainly wasn’t the last.  They packed up and rolled their luggage out of the house.  Our mother was kind enough to tell us that they were going to Mexico for two weeks because she could not stand to look at us.”

“The reason this incident stands out in my mind is because our father broke two of my fingers when I begged them not to leave us.   Broke them, told me to get the fuck out of the way, and then they left.   Dante set my fingers using tape and our mother’s nail files.  Can you imagine?  He was six years old, and he had to take care of us both because our parents wouldn’t. ”

It’s a struggle to maintain calm as I tell her this story.  It’s humiliating, and it tears at my heart still that my parents never cared.  “We were told on an almost daily basis that we were ugly, unwanted, disgusting brats.  They were both cruel and vicious and angry, and they made us suffer.”

“They were drugged out freaks, and they had sex parties in the house.  I can't even begin to tell you how many nights we had to sleep in the garden shed because all of the bedrooms needed to be available.”

Sabrina looks horrified, and I wonder if she will let me stop talking.  “Damien, where in the hell was your family?  I know your mom cut Sandra off when she married your father, but that doesn’t explain… where the hell was your grandfather?  Did no one see this?  Why didn’t someone help?”

I shake my head at her.  “If only it was that simple.  Our grandfather knew all about it, but he just didn’t care.  The old man did not give a shit about family.  He cared about the business, and he cared about sex.  We were just… heirs.”

“His contribution was sending us to school.  We were terrorized by him and both of our parents before we went.  They told us that if we talked about anything that happened at home, we would be taken away and separated from each other.  We were just kids, and the only thing we had was each other, so their threats worked. It helped a little that Spencer was in my grade.  His mother was one of our mother’s friends.  He was just as fucked as we were, and we all helped each other.”

“When our mother got pregnant with the twins, it was a nightmare.  She gained fifteen pounds and got almost no prenatal care.  You could hardly tell she was pregnant.  She smoked, drank and fucked her way through the pregnancy.”

“Nothing ever stopped those selfish assholes.  The girls were underweight and kept in the hospital for a month before they came home.  She used that time to rest up.  Once the girls came home, they were dumped on Dante and me, and life went on for our parents.  I don’t remember either of them ever changing even one diaper.  Not one.  There was an illegal woman who did not speak English who would come and care for them during the day, but she was dismissed every afternoon when we came home from school.  We were damn lucky to have her, because if she had not been around, we would not have even been able to go to school at all.”

“I guess the saving grace in all of this was that they didn’t starve us. Ramen noodles, Chef Boyardee, cans of soup, crackers, potato chips and Velveeta cheese.  Those were the only foods they would buy, and that’s what we lived on.  They bought cases of diapers, wipes and formula and left the rest of it to Dante and me.  Every fourth Friday, our grandfather’s maid would bring us clothing for the month.  Other than the food and the clothes, we were given nothing.  No love, no parenting, no birthday presents, no holidays. Nothing normal families do."

“Their behavior got more and more out of control as the years went on, as you would expect with addicts.  He fucked everything that wasn’t nailed down, and she did the same. The girls were three when our mother was diagnosed with AIDS.  She killed herself within a week.”

I struggle to continue, my heart pounding in my chest.  I dream about this often and each and every time it makes me ill.  “She… the crazy bitch left notes for Dante and I.  She told us that she got AIDS because our father took her happiness and destroyed her life, and she hoped we killed ourselves before we could ever destroy a woman with the toxic sludge that is in our blood.  She wrote that she regretted not only marrying our father, she wished she had never laid eyes on him, and she was certain that we would probably turn out to be disgusting sex addicts, bending women to our will, just like him.”

I have to stop talking when I realize that I’m on the verge of breaking down.  When Sabrina puts her arms around me for a tight hug, I feel shame that I’ve told her all of this.  No one should have these thoughts in their head.  It is bad enough that Dante and I do.  I’m flabbergasted when I realize that, for the first time in my adult life, I’m crying.

“Oh, Damien… she was unbalanced.  She was selfish and pathetic, and she took the easy way out.”

“That’s the thing Rina.  I wanted to believe she was crazy.  I know Dante did too.  God knows, living with just our father was even worse than having her around.  Our grandfather died just a few months before she did.  Once they were both gone, things got worse.  His drug use escalated to epic proportions.”

“The truth of what she said did not come home to roost until we met Sandra.  You know Sandra as well as anyone.  Look at her.  She shares blood with our mother, and she is one of the nicest and most nurturing people I’ve ever met.  They were raised by the same people, so our mom must have started out a lot like Sandra.  Our fucked up father, who was raised by his fucked up father, destroyed her.”

“Dante the girls and I got lucky because we had each other. I will never, ever, put myself in a situation where I can destroy all the joy in a woman’s life.  You see me.  I don’t even try not to constantly move from one bed to another.  Dante is no better.  We come from a line of sex addicts.  Sure, I’m a fun guy.  But how much fun would I be if I wasn’t having sex whenever I wanted?  What if I could not be faithful?  I can’t take that chance.”

She looks devastated by what I’ve just revealed, but she also looks angry too.

“Damien.  You’re so terribly wrong.  You don’t see yourself for who you are.  You and Dante… you’re phenomenal men.  You are nothing at all like your mother, your father, or your grandfather.  You’re both so committed to your sisters, to your family unit.  You’ve never resented them, and you’ve been unbelievably strong. You think you are some shallow asshole, but I know differently.  You had enough room in your hearts to bring Brooke and me in to your lives, and you did it without even blinking an eye.  Does that sound like men who can’t care?”

Stroking my cheek, she begs me with her eyes to hear her.  “Your only problem is that you have bought this horseshit that your mother said.  She couldn’t be trusted to take care of you in life, and she showed herself to be thoroughly unrepentant for her behavior by leaving you those notes.  Only a monster would do that.  Whatever her problems were, they were hers.  Your father did not force her to treat you like shit.  She chose to do that, and she is responsible for her actions.  She compounded her sins in the end by trying to lay all of the blame for her behavior at your fathers feet. They were both evil. You need to choose to leave both of those assholes in the dust, where they belong.”

Pulling me in for another hug she whispers, “You’re one thousand times more caring and more amazing than your parents ever could have dreamed of being, and so is Dante.  Stop letting them live in your head.  This is your life, and you deserve to be happy.  You need to decide to stop letting their crazy box you in. If you don’t choose to make your own life and your own decisions, they’re still abusing you, even from the grave.”

This gives me pause.  Is it true?  Am I letting them abuse me even though they’ve both been dead for years?

Pushing my hair back from my forehead, she stares at me.  “You frustrate me, because you have so much more to offer than you even realize.  Stop choosing to fuck the easiest women that don’t care if you commit or not! Take a chance! Find someone with a little depth and see what happens.  Do you actually have such little faith in yourself that you imagine you will go crazy, or get abusive, if you spend more than one or two nights with the same woman? I know, with one hundred percent certainty, that you would never do that.  I know your core Damien.  You want to be loved, and you have more than enough love to give in return.”

Grabbing my face between her hands, she stares at me hard as she speaks.  “Think of how much better you would feel if, instead of being afraid that you would continue the Hart legacy of shitty behavior, you chose to start a new chapter entirely.  You can start a new Hart legacy, and it can be positive.  You’ve got a lot to offer.  Stop keeping it in. As long as you live in their cage, they win.  You have to let them go.”

I want to believe her so badly that I’m shaking with it.  Of course, my thoughts turn to Brooke.  Could I ever be good enough for her?  Is it a possibility?

I grab Sabrina in a hug of thanks.  Here she is struggling with her own shit, and she still had enough concern for me as a human being to reach out.  These Tyler girls are something else.

“I… well, I never thought of it like that.  You’re right.  I have been letting them continue to control me with their crazy.  I’ll need to think about this.”

She smiles at me encouragingly.  "Do think about it.  There must be at least one girl that you have met who made a real impression?"

My heartbeat suddenly picks up, and I check her face to see if she is hinting about my feelings for Brooke.  Her face is open and honest, and I breathe a sigh of relief that she seems not to know.

Before I realize I’m going to be honest I blurt out,   "Yes.  There is someone who makes an impression, but I'm too damn scared that I might hurt her, even though being around her makes me feel so…  Well, it would never work.  I need not to think about her like that because it would ruin everything.  I think she knows I like her though, and fuck if I don’t think she tries to make me crazy."

She gapes at me as I mentally castigate myself for revealing even that much to her.  Sabrina is no fool, and if she thinks about it long enough, she will realize that I am hiding something.

When she tries to ask me who I’m talking about, I shake my head and tell her that I can’t discuss it.  Talk about uncomfortable.  What would I say to her?

My mind starts to wander to Brooke.  Is she even open to me trying to make a move on her?  She is still so young.  I can’t imagine that settling down is on her agenda.

I’m still trying to work that out in my head when exhaustion claims me and I fall asleep.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

The sight of Brooke's tears is almost more than I can take.  It's not like I've never seen people cry before, but her tears have me anxious and uncomfortable inside my skin. We’re all at my Delilah's apartment, every one of us are in various stages of free form panic because we can't find Sabrina. I’m trying hard to keep my shit together, but it’s fucking impossible not to feel it in my bones when Brooke is this upset. I'd give anything to make her tears disappear, but until we know if her sister is okay, that isn't going to happen. Seeing Brooke’s panic is killing me inside, and I watch with a heavy heart as she paces.

As she cries, it's taking more and more for me not to kiss her tears away.  God, how pathetic can I be? We're in full crisis mode over here, but I keep thinking about kissing her.

My eyes narrow as I watch Spencer hug her.  Turns out I've got a little more pathetic in me, because I'm jealous and angry that he's touching her, even though I know he doesn't have any kind of feelings for her beyond that of a close friend.

Before I even realize that I'm doing it, I've crossed the room and pulled her from Spencer's arms. I carry her to the couch where I pull her on to my lap, rubbing her back as she cries.

The minutes tick by without word from Sabrina, and Brooke is inconsolable.  When Brooke first called and told me she couldn't find her Sabrina, I wasn't too concerned.  But as the hours have passed, I've gotten more and more frantic myself.

Of course, I'm suffering from a miserably guilty conscience.  It’s my fault that she’s gone.  I shouldn’t have let all of the family skeletons out of the closet with Sabrina last night.  When Dante showed up, jumped to the wrong conclusion and caused a scene at finding the two of us together, I knew that he was in love with her.  Before I left I’d encouraged Sabrina to fight for my brother.  Apparently that wasn’t great advice.  Brooke tells me that didn't work out, and Sabrina decided to leave.  If anything has happened to her, I don't know how I can live with myself.

For some reason, my mind keeps wandering to a paragraph in the suicide note my mother left me.  "Your blood is toxic sludge.  You are filthy and evil because you were born that way.  You will ruin any woman you are cruel enough to make love you, just like your father did to me.  I wish every single day that I'd never given birth to any of you.  How pathetic that no one with the last name Hart actually has one. If you have any sense of decency, you will kill yourself before you destroy somebody else with the evil that runs through your veins."

It's like a neon sign is in my head, replaying over and over, letting me know that this is my fault.  I should never have encouraged Sabrina to try to work with Dante. I feel like a complete failure, like I let her down.

I’m furious with myself for being such a stupid asshole.  Here I’d thought the talk we had was amazing, and I'd left feeling hope for the first time in my life.  I thought that maybe I wasn't doomed for misery, that perhaps I could try create a happier life for myself with Brooke.

The fact that Sabrina is now missing takes all of that away.  With each minute that goes by, it seems more and more likely that something has happened to her.  Sabrina would never go entirely off the grid where her sister is concerned.  Not after the way that their parents died in a horrific car accident that left the two of them with only each other to rely on.  Sabrina and Brooke both take that bond seriously.

The fact that no one can reach Sabrina is bad.  We don't even know where to look, or what hospitals to call.  Whatever happened with Sabrina and my brother last night was so bad that she chose to leave, and we don't have any clue where she went.

Brooke says that all Sabrina said was that she was going to go on a road trip.  It's now been eight hours since Brooke heard from her sister.  Brooke started to panic about three hours ago, after she was unable to reach Sabrina when she called to check on her and ask where she had decided to go.

We've all been taking turns calling her cell phone every twenty minutes or so for the last two hours, and none of us have gotten an answer.  My eyes burn with unshed tears and my fear is almost palpable. The only thing holding me back right now is Brooke, here in my arms.  She needs me to be strong for her, and I will do whatever I have to do to see her through whatever comes. I watch helplessly as Spencer and Delilah both pace the room, the only sound Brooke as she cries.

The silence is broken when Brooke's cell rings, and she jumps from my lap like she's been shot out of a cannon, answering before the first ring is even half way finished.

Watching Brooke closely, I see the change in her body immediately as she shakes and falls back on the couch.  My heart all but stops and my stomach roils as I try and prepare myself for whatever this is.  What if it's a hospital calling to tell her Sabrina has been in an accident?

Her sobs are louder, her body racked with each hiccup, and I stare in horror as I try to figure out who's on the phone.

Brooke is almost impossible to understand because she's so unglued, but I pick out enough to figure out that she's talking to Sabrina.  "No… everyone is fine… I…got…so…scared.  Oh god Sabrina.  So scared."

The relief I feel that Sabrina is okay is so overwhelming that it makes me dizzy.  Brooke can barely speak, so Spencer grabs the phone from her as Delilah and I try to calm her down.  I hold her and rock her back and forth as Delilah tells her everything is going to be fine.

Handing Brooke over to Delilah, I stand and take the phone from Spencer.  "Oh my god Sabrina, you just aged me five years.  I've never been so scared.  You're really okay?"

Her sigh tells me a lot.  She might be physically fine, but emotionally, she's far from it.  "I'm fine.  I'm very sorry about all of this.  I just needed… well, I left."

Clearing my throat, I sigh. "Yes.  Brooke tells me that you’ve gone away for two weeks.  I take it things… didn’t go well with Dante?

Sabrina sighs again before she answers me.  “No.  No, it didn’t go well.  He told me he wouldn’t change, and I told him I wouldn’t be coming in for the next two weeks.  I decided I need to get away, and I left.  I guess I’ve lost my phone.  I’m fine though, and I’m totally safe.”

Before I can say anything else, my cell phone rings.   “Hold on a sec Sabrina.  Dominique is calling me.”

I've barely said hello before Dominique yells, "Damien! Have you heard anything from Sabrina yet?"

"Yes, yes.  Everything is fine Dominique.  I'm on the other line with her now.  She lost her phone.  Can I call you back?"

"Oh thank god! You don't need to call me back.  I will be there in a few minutes.  So will Dante.  He's freaking out Damien.  You should prepare yourself."

As she disconnects I tell Spencer to text my brother and tell him we found Sabrina and she's fine, then I return to the phone to talk to her.

“Well, never a dull moment.  Dominique told Dante you were missing, and he’s on his way here.  I've got Spencer texting him now to let him you are safe.”

Giving a nervous cough, I say, “He’s going to want to know where you are.”

“No! You’re not to tell him Damien.  I need this time.  Don’t make this harder on me, please.  Erase the caller ID.  Tell him you don’t know where I am.  I’m begging you.”

I shake my head, worried about where all of this is going.  I love my brother, but I also owe Sabrina loyalty. “Of course I won’t tell him, if that’s what you want.”

“It's what I want and what I need. You don’t know how badly I need this.  Can you please put Brooke on the phone now?”

“Yes.  But before I do… Sabrina, you need to know that I’m always here.  And I won’t betray your confidence to Dante.  If you need anything, and I do mean anything, call me.”

I hand the phone back to Brooke, relieved to see that she's back on solid ground.

Her breath is much more even, although I can hear little hiccups.  “Oh Rina, I’m so sorry.  I was so scared.  I didn’t mean to create drama.  I was upset after we talked today, and I guess all of the stuff about mom and dad was right at the surface.”

I'm not sure what Sabrina says back to her, but within a few minutes they are having a much happier conversation and Brooke has calmed way down.

The feeling of relief is brought to an abrupt halt when Dominique comes through the door, Dante right behind her.  He's white as a sheet and frantic, and it's also very clear that he's been crying. Looking at Spencer he says, “Your text only said you found her and that she’s okay.  Is she hurt?  Where is she?”

I step forward and put my hand up, indicating that he should be quiet.  "It's fine Dante.  She's fine.  She lost her phone."

He literally sags with relief. "Oh thank god. I was so scared… Jesus.  I… I need to talk to her."

It kills me to do it, but I shake my head at him. "She doesn't want to speak to you.  I'm sorry."

He stares at me, mouth agape, as we both hear Brooke telling Sabrina that she will talk to her soon.

Dante shouts, “No! Don’t hang up with her. Please Brooke!"  But it's too late, and we watch as she puts her cell phone back on the table.

Brooke eyes Dante before giving an angry shrug of her shoulders.  "I'm sorry Dante.  She doesn't want to speak to you.  You need to back off and let her have this time.  I don’t really know why you’re upset, considering the fact that you pushed her away."

I can see that my brother is struggling to control himself as he stares at Brooke, the frustration on his face very clear to everyone in the room.

Crossing the room to Brooke, Dante lays his hands on her shoulders.  "Brooke, I've never been so scared.  I need to talk to Sabrina.  I need to know that she's okay.  Please."

Shaking her head, Brooke stands her ground.  "Dante, I love you.  But I love my sister more.  Aside from when our parents died, I've never seen Sabrina so broken. She's never run from anything in her life, so the fact that she's taken off says a lot about how upset she is.  You need to let her work this out."

Shaking his head, Dante gives her a look of utter horror.  "Oh Brooke, please believe me.  I'd never have intentionally done anything to hurt Sabrina.  She's not just my best friend, she's my everyth…. she means so much to me. You know that."

Brooke stares at him for a moment before standing on her toes and wrapping her arms around him. Hugging him tightly to her, she leans forward toward his ear and starts speaking.  She speaks so quietly that I'm fairly sure that no one else in the room can hear exactly what she says, but I do.

"Dante, how you feel right now, is what you're going to feel like every day for the rest of your life if you don't wake up.  You're in love with her.  Even if you can't admit it to yourself, it's written all over your face.  Ask yourself this; How would you feel if she married someone else, had children with another man?  My sister is a family girl, and someday she’s going to have one of her own.  Do you really want her to do that with someone else?"

I watch as Dante pulls back from her in shock, his face a mask of horror.  He's actually green, and I wonder if he's going to be sick.  Score one for Brooke, saying exactly what needed to be said to break through to him.

Brooke seems to know that he's taken too much tonight, and that he really can't handle anymore.  Pulling him back to her, she kisses his cheek.   "I was really angry at you, but now that I see you, I feel much better. I know you aren't going to blow this because I have faith in you Dante.  Now have some in yourself."

Pulling back from Brooke, Dante says goodbye to all of us and beats a hasty retreat.

The door is barely closed before my sisters and Spencer descend on Brooke and me, demanding explanations for what they just saw.

There is no way to avoid bringing them in to the loop, and Brooke and I spend the next half hour filling them in on everything we know about what's going on with Dante and Sabrina.

Once that's all out of the way, we decide to order pizza and wings and chill out.  Once the pizza arrives, we all grab paper plates and sodas and spread out on Delilah's small sectional to watch "Pulp Fiction."

It's a movie we all love, but I'm not following it at all because Brooke is right next to me.  Delilah's sectional is small, and we're all sitting very close together. We haven’t been this close since the night in Vegas when I lost my damn mind and ate her like a starving man at a banquet.

Brooke is shoulder to shoulder with me, and my heart is pounding from even this small amount of contact.  It's a physical buzz, and I actually feel a tingle when her lower leg brushes against mine, skin to skin since we are both wearing shorts.

Like a fool, I breathe in her scent over and over.  I love this smell that is hers and her alone, a heady mix of raspberries and her natural scent. Part of me wants to find an excuse to leave the room, but the masochistic side of me refuses to move, breathing her in and enjoying the feeling of her body touching mine. I'm both disappointed and relieved when the move ends and we have to separate from each other.

After the movie Spencer, Dominique and Delilah all decide to head out to the local watering hole to have a few drinks before closing time.  Brooke is too shit kicked to go, so I offer to drive her home, partly because I could care less about the bar scene but mostly because I just want to be with her some more.

Pulling up outside of Brooke's apartment, we see at least a dozen people on her balcony.  Apparently her roommates are having a party.  Talk about bad timing.  Turning to Brooke, I can clearly see that this is not something she wants to deal with right now.

Before I can really consider what I'm doing I blurt out, "Brooke, why don't we go in, grab some clothes for you, and then you can come spend the night at my house."

She shakes her head at me in the negative before speaking.  "Thank you so much Damien, but I've been enough of a burden to you tonight.  I can't impose any more than I already have."

I stare at her for a moment, shocked. How can she possibly think she's imposed on me, or that she's a burden?  It's quite the opposite.  Spending time with Brooke is like being in the sun.  I'm the one that struggles not to burden her with my ever growing list of desires for her and her time.

"Brooke.  You could never, ever be a burden to me, and tonight was no imposition.  I was right where I wanted to be, where I needed to be.  You know I love you and Sabrina.  You've both become family to all of us.  I wouldn't have been anywhere else.  Now stop thinking such ridiculous thoughts and let's go pack a bag.  There is no way I'm leaving you here with a party going on.  You're in no condition for this."

I'm relieved when she doesn't argue, and we make our way upstairs.  The apartment is packed with people, the music pulse pounding and lively.  I spot two kegs, a bar full of alcohol and a dozen obviously inebriated people in the living room.

Making our way down the hall, Brooke uses her key to unlock her bedroom door.  Looking at me over her shoulder she says, "It's really the only way to ensure that when my roommates have parties no one ends up in here.  I hate having people I don't know in my bedroom."

Plopping down on to her bed, I watch in silence as she grabs a bag from her closet and starts packing, first a silky camisole type nightgown, then a pair of shorts and a t shirt, and finally, a pair of underwear and a bra.

At the sight of her champagne colored thong and matching bra, my pulse spikes to infinity.  She's hard enough to be around when I don’t know for sure what kind of lingerie is under her clothes.  This makes it that much worse.

My hands clench and unclench as I try to get my breathing under control, praying that she doesn't notice how close to the edge I am.  Fortunately she needs to go in to her bathroom to gather her toiletries, and I use that time to calm down.

Once she's all packed, she lays her bag by the door before coming back toward me.  I watch in silence as she hems and haws before she finally opens her bedside drawer and takes out what I realize is a birth control packet.

My heart is back to thundering in my chest.  I'm jealous and irrational and angry.  Who was she having sex with that she needs to worry about birth control? Is she having sex with someone now? I want to plant my fist in the face of whomever it is that Brooke deemed worthy of being allowed inside her body.  There is no one on earth good enough for her, and I hate this nameless, faceless fucker with a passion for touching her.  Is it possible that she’s already moved on and is seeing someone else?  I pushed her away pretty damn hard in Vegas… is this what the cost of that was?

Christ, I didn't know I had it in me to be so jealous.  I try to calm myself down, but it isn’t fucking working.  Of course there are guys after her! Brooke is far too kind, smart, funny and gorgeous to be without an army of admirers.  My irrationality cares about none of that, and my mind continues to rage.

Grabbing her bag, I all but stomp out of the room.  Once outside her bedroom door, I literally jog from the apartment to the car.  I need the air and the space.  Throwing her bag in to my Escalade, I climb in to the driver's seat and wait for her to come down.

She's right on my heels, settling in to the passenger seat less than a minute later.  "Dame, you okay?"

Turning the engine out and backing out of the parking space I nod.  "Yeah, that music combined with the smell of smoke was just awful.  I had to get out of there."

It's the lamest excuse ever, but she accepts it.

"I'm sorry about that.  I had no idea that Cara and Lydia were going to have people over.  It's getting harder and harder to live there.  I like Cara, but Lydia's actually a real asshole."

I nod in agreement.  Lydia is a real asshole.  I disliked her slutty ass on sight, and I hate that Brooke lives with her.  Cara is definitely the nicer of the two roommates, but she's too easily led by Lydia.  I can’t wait for this semester to be over so that Brooke can live somewhere safe.  I never feel good about her living here.

Turning on the radio, I hit the classic rock channel and turn it up just loud enough that we won't need to speak until we get to my house.  I'm being assailed by thoughts of Brooke on a bed underneath some guy as she cries out her pleasure.  I know what her cries sound like, what her cream tastes like, and the idea that someone else is probably enjoying both has me rigid with rage. I'm on the edge and I’m dangling by a thread.  It's fucking torture to think about this, but damn if I can stop it.

It's a relief when we finally get to my house.  I need a beer and a little room to breathe, immediately.  Hustling to the other side of the car, I open the door for Brooke, then grab her overnight bag before heading to the front door and letting us in.

After I've dropped Brooke's bag in the guest room, I head in to the kitchen and grab us both a beer before heading out to meet her on the back deck.

Smiling at me, she reaches up a hand to grab the beer I've brought out for her.  "Thanks Dame, you're the best."

Taking my place on the recliner beside her, I smile.  "I figured if there was ever a time that we needed a cold one, tonight is the night.  It's been a rough day."

Shaking her head, Brooke groans.  "I feel like such an idiot for freaking out like that.  I really have no excuse for my behavior."

Leaning forward, I grab her hand in mine.  "Stop that.  In case you didn't notice, the rest of us were freaking out too. You aren't a drama queen Brooke. We were all right there with you."

Smiling at me, Brooke runs her thumb across the palm of my hand.  "You always know just how to make me feel better Damien.  You're always there when I need you.  Men don't come any better than you."

My heart skips with happiness like a little boy who just found Santa in the house. I smile to let her know I appreciate the compliment, even as my inner voice reminds me that I'm pretty damn far from being a knight in shining armor.

We spend the next half hour or so outside, sipping our beers and talking about her college graduation which will be taking place in less than two months.  One of the requirements for graduation is an internship, and we've spent hours arguing about the fact that Dante and I both want her to do it at our company, Hart International.

Brooke was against it, and it's extremely frustrating.  Hart International is the family business, and since we consider Brooke family, it seems the most logical thing in the world that she would work with us.

Brooke doesn't see it that way.  She argued that she needs to get her internship one hundred per on her own merit, no family connection involved.  She's open to coming to work with us after graduation, but insisted that she obtain an internship all by herself.  Starting next week, she will be spending several weeks interning at a company that I don’t own, and it makes me crazy.

I mostly understand and totally respect how she feels, but I hate the idea that she might get sucked in to this other company for an after graduation job through her internship.  She belongs with the rest of us at Hart.

After finishing our drinks, we head back in to the house.  Giving me a giant hug and thanks for being with her tonight and for letting her stay, Brooke heads off to the guest room and I make my way to my bedroom.

Heading in to my bathroom, I take a shower and then brush my teeth before putting on a pair of pajama pants and getting in to bed.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

I toss and turn for a while, my thoughts on the birth control pack Brooke pulled from her drawer.  I can't help but wonder how I will ever hold my shit together when I eventually meet someone that she’s sleeping with.  Someone else is going to be with my girl, and it fucking destroys me.

Eventually I fall in to a troubled sleep.  The dream I have is actually a memory.  I'm back in my childhood house and my parents are having one of their sex parties.  There is alcohol and drugs everywhere, and Dante and I are making our way out of the house to the shed in the backyard where we used to spend the night when the parties would go on.

We're just outside of the back door when some drunken woman grabs Dante and starts running her hands down his chest.  I start screaming for her to stop, and my father appears at my side, completely enraged that I've disrupted his evening.  He pummels Dante blow after blow and I start screaming for him to stop when I see that Dante's face is covered in blood.

I wake up to Brooke kneeling on the bed over me, shaking my shoulders.  "Damien! You're okay, you're okay.  I'm here.  It was just a dream."

The relief I feel that the nightmare is over is quickly replaced by my awareness of Brooke in my room, on my bed wearing a tiny purple silk chemise.

I'm struggling to get my equilibrium back when she wraps her arms tightly around me in a hug and starts running her hands up and down my back in a soothing gesture, before leaning in and kissing my cheek.

That's it for me.  I ache with the need to kiss her, to hold her, and I'm doing something about it right now. She’s mine! Fucking mine, and I’m not letting another man touch her ever again. Wrapping my arms around her, I pull her to me, tilting her head back with my other hand and angling her head for my kiss.

The first touch of her lips against mine sends my heart in to orbit.  She gives a throaty gasp and I use it to my advantage, slipping my tongue in to her mouth.  Our tongues connect in a sensual mating, warm, smooth and delicious.  She tastes so good, I can't even think of stopping as the kiss goes on and on.

Shifting a bit, Brooke opens her legs and straddles me, rubbing up against my now rock hard cock.  I groan in to her mouth as I arch up in an attempt to ease the pressure in my groin.  It doesn't help, if anything it makes it worse.

Breaking the kiss, I stare in to her eyes, pleased to see that they are dilated with arousal, her mouth plump and red from our kisses.  She looks so fucking beautiful that it makes my heart flutter in my chest.

My conscience is silent, seemingly having gone on vacation, and I am too far gone to stop.  I want her so bad that I’m shaking.

Leaning forward, Brooke covers my mouth with hers again as she continues to rub against me.  After a few minutes, I break the kiss and I pull down the straps of her chemise, groaning out loud when I see her naked breasts. She's beyond fucking beautiful, her nipples pink and hard, begging for my mouth.

Pushing her back so that she's lying on my bed with her head near the footboard, I lean over her and start running my tongue all over her tits.  She's crazy responsive, all pants and moans as I lick every inch of her luscious breasts and alternate hard and soft sucks on each nipple.

I've never seen a woman so aroused just from having her nipples sucked, and I get harder and harder as she arches and moans beneath me.  Sucking hard on one nipple as I lick it with my tongue, I tweak the other with my fingers and just like that, she starts to cum, thrashing under me as she cries out in wonder. If there is a sight or a feeling better than Brooke as she's cumming, I don't know what it is.  I’ve missed this every minute of every day since we came home from Vegas.

Pulling back, I push her chemise up to her waist, growling when I see that she's not wearing any panties and that her sex is completely bare.  "Oh my god Brooke, you weren't wearing any underwear?"

Shaking her head shyly, she smiles at me.  "No.  I took a quick shower and I only had that one pair of underwear with me that I'm going to need tomorrow morning after my morning shower."

I'm so hard it feels like my dick is about to explode.  Spreading her legs, I lean in and inhale her scent.  It's so erotic that it leaves me almost dizzy.  The sight of her bare sex, glistening with her need is almost enough to have me cumming in my pants.  Leaning forward, I start licking all around her outer lips.

I use the flat of my tongue to lick her all around, tasting her everywhere but her clit.  Spreading her wide, I run my tongue all over her with quick flicks.  I love the sounds of her breathy moans and the feeling of her hands in my hair as she holds my head between her legs and grinds up in to my face.

Putting my hands under her ass, I lift her up so that her legs are hanging over my shoulders and then I go to town fucking her with my tongue.

Her juices are sliding out on to my tongue faster and faster, and when I finally run my tongue over her clit, she screams out as she cums.

I ride her through it with my tongue, then pull back and stare at her clenching sex.  I could watch her tiny pussy for hours.  Taking her legs off my shoulders, I lay her back on the bed before returning to her completely soaked sex and starting to work her again with my tongue.

The silence of the room is broken only by her moans, my groans and the sound of how wet she is under my tongue.  I work her hard, throwing her in to another massive orgasm, her cum gushing down in to my mouth.  She's so fucking hot, so fucking perfect, I want to eat her alive.

Pulling my head back, she's breathless as she tells me she can't take anymore just now.  Pushing me back on to the bed, she stands up on the mattress and takes her chemise off entirely before leaning over me and pulling down my pajama pants.

I'm so hard I feel like I'm going to explode, but everything stops when I hear her harsh inhalation and I see what looks like panic on her face.

"Holy shit, you're fucking huge."

I'm a guy, and I can't help but swell with pride. Whoever else she’s had sex with, they didn’t measure up, and that makes me happy.  "Don’t worry beautiful. I’d never hurt you.”

Shaking off her nerves, she bends her knees and leans over me as she runs her thumb over the head of my dick and gathers the pre cum that is there.  Lifting her thumb to her lips, she sucks my fluid in to her mouth.  My eyes roll into the back of my head as my cock jerks in response.  It takes everything I have not to erupt all over the place, just from the visual of her tasting my cum.

Moaning her approval, she bends over me and starts licking my shaft.  Her tongue is hot and her breath is feathery as she licks every inch of my cock and my balls.  Working her way back to the top, I watch in wonder as she uses her tongue on the tip of my cock almost like a French kiss.

Raising her eyes to mine, she maintains eye contact as she widens her mouth as much as she can and starts her descent down my shaft.  Her mouth is like heaven, wet, hot and wild as her head moves up and down my cock.

I damn near burst in her mouth when I feel the tip of my cock touch her throat.  It's like she doesn't have a gag reflex. She's taking me to another planet with her mouth and tongue.  I'm so hot that I feel like I might be losing my mind.

The view of her sucking me as her tits jiggle back and forth gives me an idea, and I have to follow through.   Pulling her off, I throw her down on the bed, her head on the pillows.

"Brooke, I've got to fuck your tits.  Hold them together honey."

I lay my cock on her chest and groan when she pushes her tits together.  The visual is absolutely stunning.  I fuck back and forth in absolute ecstasy between her amazing tits, groaning and panting as she tweaks her nipples.

"Fuck honey, you're so goddamn beautiful.  That's it Brooke, tease those nipples baby."

I'm blown away when she arches underneath me and screams out as she starts cumming again. Slowing down my thrusts, I watch in awe as her face contorts in pleasure.  Brooke is a natural born sensualist, and I am in absolute awe of her.

I've taken all I can, and now I have to be inside of her.  It isn't even a choice, it's a life or death need.  Pulling back from her chest, I rearrange us so that her legs are spread wide under me, then I lay my shaft on top of her soaking sex.

It's heavenly, feeling her under me, and I revel in the sensation as I slide my cock back and forth over her clit, picking up speed as I feel her pussy releasing more and more arousal as her moans get louder.

Scraping her nails down my shoulders, she yells out and starts to cum again. I’ve been with multi-orgasmic girls before, but Brooke outshines them all.  "Oh god Damien! What's happening to me?  Don't stop.  Don't stop!"

She's still riding the wave of her orgasm as I place the head of my cock at her dripping wet entrance.  I’ve never had sex without a condom before, but knowing that she’s on the pill, there is no way I’m not going in totally bare.  We need to be skin to skin.  Rubbing the tip of my cock in her fluids for lubrication, I get as wet as I can to make it easier for her to take me before I start pushing inside of her.

God she's fucking heavenly, her pussy wet and hot, pulling me in like nothing I've ever felt before.  She's incredibly tight, and it takes a lot of effort to work the head of my cock inside of her.  Gently thrusting in and out, I start working more and more of myself inside of her as she pants and moans under me.

Pulling her legs up, I press her knees against her chest to make it easier to work more of my prick inside her quivering cunt.  I'm almost out of my mind with pleasure, desperate to join myself to her entirely.

When I feel the barrier, my heart skids to a halt in my chest as understanding of what I've come up against hits me.

Brooke is still a virgin.

I groan in agony as she clenches around the tip of my cock.  I'm in fucking hell.  Every fiber of my being wants to take her, to make her mine, but I can't do it.  It doesn't stop me from sliding back and forth inside of her, halting at the barrier each time, but it stops me from pushing forward and making her mine.

Sliding my hand down to her wet cleft, I start rubbing my fingers over her clit as I gently rock back and forth.  When she starts cumming again, I feel my balls tighten up for my own release, and I pull out and jerk my dick.  My cum spews all over her tiny pussy and I rub it into her skin with the tip of my cock as I recover.

Flopping on to my back, I throw my arm over my face as I try to catch my breath.  The room is filled with the scent of our sex, and it's like a constant reminder of what a piece of shit I am.  I can't believe I almost took her virginity.

The silence stretches until Brooke finally breaks it.  "Damien, what just happened there?  Why didn't you come all the way inside of me?"

Shaking my head, I sit up.  "God Brooke, what kind of an asshole do you think I am?  You're a virgin.  I'm so not the guy you want to give that gift to."

Staring at me, she frowns.  "Shouldn't that be my decision Damien?  I'm a big girl.  I know who I want, and it's you.  I want you to make love to me, to take my virginity and make me a woman. I'm giving this to you of my own free will.  Don't let this ruin the night.  Take me.  I want you to."

Flopping back on to the pillows I groan.  "No Brooke.  I couldn't live with myself if I took your virginity.  You've saved yourself for all this time for someone special, someone you love and respect.  Don't waste it on someone like me.  Find someone worthy of you, someone who will commit.

Glaring at me she says, "I am trying to give it to someone special, someone I love and respect.  There's no one else but you Damien, and you damn well know it, even if you're too stubborn to admit it."

And there it is… the elephant in the room.  Dammit.  Why do these Tyler girls have no filters?  Obviously I realize that she has feelings for me, but she's just twenty-three years old which is far too young to be saddled with my bullshit.  I'm not even sure I could be faithful.  Lord knows I've never tried.  The idea of agreeing to be in a relationship with Brooke and then failing her because I can't handle the one man one woman thing is my biggest fear.

I avoid looking at her as I shake my head.  "Brooke, I couldn't live with myself if I took your virginity.  It's not mine to take.  It's you who is too stubborn to admit how wrong that would be."

Making a choked sound, she stares at the bed in silence for a moment before speaking.  "So what you're saying is that if I wasn't a virgin, you'd be inside of me right now.  But because I am a virgin, that's it?"

I nod at her.  "Yes.  Clearly my judgment was flawed tonight.  I shouldn't have touched you to begin with.  But I'm present enough to know that taking your virginity would be the worst thing I could do to you."

Staring at me in frustration, she gets up from the bed and grabs her chemise and puts it back on.

"Damn you Damien.  It isn't for you to make some grandiose gesture and decide that you aren't who I want to give my virginity to.  I'm an adult, and I knew who and what I was doing. I made my choice, as an adult.  I’d thought it out, and you were what I wanted. This is three times now that you’ve pulled this shit. Don’t touch me again, because if you do, I’ll probably murder you.  I'm going to bed.  See you in the morning."  With that she leaves my bedroom, the door closing softly behind her.

I lay in silence staring at the ceiling.  I feel like such a worthless piece of shit.  I let my guard down for one second and almost took something from the girl I care about most in the world.

There is no doubt in my mind that if she knew how many women I've had sex with, how many threesomes I've been involved in, how many sex clubs I've been in, she would be repulsed and disgusted. I’m not fit to shine her shoes, much less fuck her.

I've spent the last ten years fucking my way through life.  If I'd met Brooke earlier I wouldn't be so far beyond redemption, but the fact is that I did all of those things and there is no going back.  I made my bed, and Brooke is far too amazing to lie in it.  I could never defile her purity with my abysmal history.

And yet, I still ache for her. It's just my fucking luck that the only girl I've ever cared for is a virgin, ensuring that I can never have her.

I hate the fact that she's mad at me, and my stomach is in knots.  I wish there was something I could do, but I can't take her virginity.  I just can't.

Laying in the bed and smelling her scent all around me has me hard as a rock, and I need to calm the hell down.  Sliding from my bed I head in to my bathroom to take a cold shower in the hopes that it will help.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Leaving Damien's bedroom with my head held high was one of the hardest things I've ever done.  I'm so mortified by what just happened.  I feel like I have a giant sign over my head that says "DESPERATE VIRGIN" on it.

Why does he keep pushing me away?  It’s killing me.  I keep trying to find someone else to like.  Anyone! But, it never works.  There is no one else I'd consider losing my virginity to. For me, it's Damien.

My mom always told me and Sabrina that when we met our true loves we would know, and that we should remember that having sex with someone you didn't love was a recipe for regret.

As a teenager, my hormones were all over the place. I was horny all the time, and I wanted to experience sex. Sabrina is the one who talked me out of it.  She told me that she'd felt the same way I did when she was my age, and that she'd had sex with her high school boyfriend and was really disappointed in the whole experience.

At the time we had that discussion Sabrina had been with her college boyfriend Peter for eight months.  When she told me that she'd been having sex with him for four months and wasn't really enjoying it, and that she had never even had an orgasm with him, I just about died.  She said she was about to break up with him because it just wasn’t right.

I asked, “How do you survive?”

Blushing, she’d been blunt.  “I masturbate almost constantly. There’s no shame in taking care of your own needs.  If I could turn back time, I’d have fucked myself silly, but kept my virginity for the man of my dreams.”

It wasn't an easy decision, but I decided to do what she hadn’t and wait for “the one.”  I begged Sabrina to take me to a local sex shop to buy a bullet vibrator, which thankfully she did.  I craved it so badly that by the end of my senior year I was using the damn thing two or three times a day.  Nothing much has changed.  I use my new bullet at least five days a week.

I've made out and fooled around with plenty of guys.  During my freshman year in college, I’d dated a guy named Nick for ten months.  I actually enjoyed giving him head almost daily, but it wasn't enough to get me as hot as I did when I pleasured myself. Nick went down on me a least a hundred times during those ten months, but I never had an orgasm with him, even though I let him think that I did.  It's not that I didn't enjoy it.  I just couldn't get there.

I never knew what it meant to be at fever pitch with a man until I was with Damien for the first time.  One slide of his fingers, one swipe of his tongue, one taste of his sweat and I’m either cumming or right on the damn edge of cumming.

God, being with him was good.  He makes me so hot, it’s unreal.  As mad as I am, my body still aches for him.  I've never been so turned on and it's killing me.

Stomping my foot in frustration, I make my way in to the bathroom and turn on the shower.  I throw my hair up in a clip before stepping in to the shower and pegging it to cold.  I need to cool down and get my equilibrium back.

Once I exit the shower, I brush my hair and throw my chemise back on before going back in to the bedroom.  My steps halt when I see Damien lying across the bed, propped up on his elbow with his face resting in his palm as he stares at me.

We silently assess each other for a few moments, the silence stretched between us like an invisible rubber band.

Sitting up, Damien holds his hand out to me.  Raising my eyebrows in query, I walk to the foot of the bed and stop.  When he holds his arm out more and wiggles his fingers, I reach my hand out, giving a little gasp as his fingers slide through mine.  Clasping my hand, he pulls me on to the bed.

Pulling my hand from his grasp, I lay facing him in the same position he's in.  He's quiet and intense as he stares in to my eyes.  Reaching out, he lifts my hand up from between us and holds it against his chest.

"I hate that you're mad at me Brooke. I would never do anything to hurt you, and taking your virginity would hurt you in the long run."

Bringing our clasped hands up to his lips, he drops a few kisses on to the back of my hand before laying my hand over his heart and covering it with his own.

"Everything about you is so special, beautiful, perfect and open.  I couldn't survive if I crushed any of that.  I've never even had a girlfriend sweetheart.  What if I took your virginity and then went crazy and couldn't handle fidelity?  I can't take that chance."

I stare at him in frustration as I try to hold my reaction in but in the end I can’t help letting him know that he’s pissing me off.  “Dammit Damien!  That’s not fair to me.  You’re playing the heavy here, trying to make decisions for me and I hate it.  I can’t help the fact that I am a virgin, and if that’s a deal breaker for you, then it is what it is.  I think it’s shallow and ridiculous, but I’m not arguing with you about it because you don’t listen.”

He looks unsure, and I silently pray that he will see how wrong he is.

“Brooke, to you it might seem shallow and ridiculous, but to me it’s a matter of honor.  I care about you more than I care about myself, even if you can’t see that right now.  Its better this way, it really is.  I couldn’t bear to lose you, and sex would up the chances of that by about a trillion percent.  This way we can always be friends.”

I want to yell and have a temper tantrum, but I don’t.  It’s hard to stay controlled though.

“Then we need to make sure this doesn’t happen again Damien.  I’m fine right now, but I can only handle so much rejection.”

The look he gives me is sad, but the nod he gives tells me he understands.

Getting up from the bed, he stands over me for a moment.  Finally he says, “Thank you Brooke, for being so reasonable.  I promise you that this will never happen again.”

With a gentle kiss on my forehead and a fierce hug, he leaves the room.  I am left frustrated and upset.  Here all this time I thought saving my virginity was a good thing, but now I know that it’s what’s keeping me from Damien.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Every day that has passed since the night I almost claimed Brooke has been excruciating.  The only thing that has kept me from going to her is the constant reminders I give myself that I’m doing the right thing.

I can see that Brooke doesn’t think so.  Her mouth said, “We can’t do this again”… but her body.  Fuck, her body practically begs me to take her in any way that I choose.  At any given moment I can envision at least a dozen ways I want to have her, and that doesn’t help my sanity.

Each day we get a little closer to her graduation, and it panics me.  Immediately after graduation my sisters and Brooke will be starting at Hart International with the rest of us.  Once I have to see her every single day, there is no telling how I will maintain what little control I have left.

Something has got to give.  I know it and I think she knows it too.  We can’t go on like this.  I’m at my wits end.  Whenever I catch Brooke looking at me, she’s taking me in like I’m a feast that has been laid out before her.  I can feel her desire, and I damn sure know she can feel mine.

It’s not like I can ever get away from her.  In addition to the fact that we’re going to be working together, my brother and her sister are living together and my brother just told me he’s going to ask Sabrina to marry him.  Brooke is in my life for the long haul.  I wouldn’t want her not to be, but I need her to see that I can never be an option for her.  Hell, I need to see that.  There are days that I’m on the fence.

Pulling myself from my reverie, I finish getting dressed.  Somehow Spencer got wrangled into going to a party at his mother’s house tonight, and I got recruited for moral support.  There are few people on earth I detest more than Spence’s mom, Marceline Cross.  She’s a hideous excuse for a human being, and being around her makes me ill.  If I didn’t love Spencer so much, I wouldn’t be caught dead within a fifty mile radius of her vile ass.

It doesn’t help that Marceline is a reminder of my parents. When I was younger, Marceline and my parents were inseparable.  I’ve got horrific images of Marceline and my parents fucking dozens of people in my head.  Marceline and my parents were ridiculously abusive to their children, and it was self-preservation that originally had Spencer befriending Dante and I.

We kept each other sane and safe for many years.  When my sisters came along, Spence stepped right in and helped just as much as Dante and I did.  I owe Spencer for being such a great friend, and it is because of that fact that I am willingly going to a party at his mother’s, even though I’m not quite sure how she roped him in to coming.  It’s been at least two years since the last time she called him, and I wonder what she did to make him agree to see her again.

My thoughts are derailed by the ringing of my doorbell.  I head in to the living room and swing the door open for Spence.  He looks queasy and uncomfortable, and I know he doesn’t want to go.

Putting a hand on his shoulder, I squeeze.  “Hey.  It’s okay Spence. If you don’t want to go, we don’t go.”

Nodding his head at me, he rubs his forehead.  That’s his go-to stress move.  “I know, I know.  It’s just that I hate fucking seeing her.  I basically let her blackmail me in to this shit.  She swears she’s not been feeling well and she thinks something might be wrong with her.  I guess I need to see for myself. I’m not even sure why.”

Ah.  That explains how he got roped in to this.  Grabbing my keys I lock up as we make our way to his car.

We’ve gone about a block when Spence turns to me and says, “So.  At some point are you going to be filling me in on whatever is going on with you and Brooke?”

I’m momentarily stunned.  Shit.  If Spence has it figured out, it won’t be long before my brother does, and from there…. Well, once Sabrina knows, I figure the shit will really hit the fan.  There is no way she will condone me being anywhere near her sister.  Not with my reputation.

“Dammit Spence.  How the fuck did you know there way anything going on?”

The look he gives me from the corner of his eye says he thinks I’m an idiot.  “Uh, dude?  I’m not blind.  You should see the way you two look at each other.  Your sisters know too.  It’s pretty fucking hard to miss.  I can only assume that the reason Dante and Sabrina haven’t picked up on it is because they spend so much time loving on each other.”

This is even worse than I thought.  Dominique and Delilah knowing that anything is going on is the worst case scenario.  Those two are all hearts and flowers and will want to help Brooke hook me.  Nothing could be worse.  What the fuck am I going to do?

“Here’s the deal Spence.  You need to help me to shut my sisters down.  Yes, something did happen with Brooke. Actually, several things happened.  But then I found out she was a virgin.  There is no fucking way I’m the guy who should be taking that, so I backed off.  Unfortunately, I don’t think she gets that yet.  I’m not sure what I can do to change that but I really need to.  You know damn well that I’m not the type who should be deflowering virgins.  It’s a recipe for disaster.”

Our conversation comes to a close when we arrive at Marceline’s house.  The valet takes the car to park and the two of us head inside.

Marceline’s parties are just as bad as I remembered them.  The stench of cigarette smoke is thick in the air.  Naked waiters and waitresses are taking drink orders.  There are people all around us in various stages of undress fondling or even fucking each other.

Turning to Spence I say, “Seriously? She might be getting old, but that bitch never changes.  Find her Spence, and figure out what the hell she wants so that we can get the fuck out of here.  I can’t handle this.”

Giving me a grim nod, Spencer heads off in to the house to find his mother.  I head to the back of the house toward the kitchen.  I need a quieter place to hide, and I’ve been at enough of her parties to know that people tend not to congregate in Marceline’s kitchen.  It’s where Spence, Dante and I used to hide when we were kids.

My steps falter when I find someone already sitting at the kitchen counter.  She’s quite beautiful and in no way looks like she fits in here.  She clearly lacks the hardness of the other guests.  I’m considering making my exit when she looks up and sees me standing there.

I chuckle.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to interrupt you.  I was just looking for a place to get away from all the… um… wildness out there.”

Her smile is cautiously relieved.  “I understand that!  I’m hiding in here because what’s going on out there is too much.  If I had my car with me I’d have been gone twenty seconds after I came through the door.”

I smile back at her, hoping to show her that I’m not a threat.  She seems uptight, not that I blame her.

Putting my hand out I say, “I’m Damien Hart.  My best friend is the hostess’s son, Spencer Cross.  He’s here under duress, and I’m here as his moral support.”

Taking my hand, she grins.  “I’m Tally Simon.  I got dragged here by my friend Melissa.  She’s dating someone who talked her in to coming.  If I’d known it was going to be like this, I would never have agreed to come.”

We spend the next half an hour talking about things other than this shitty party.  She’s actually a very smart girl, and I enjoy her company.  Turns out she goes to UCLA and is just about to graduate.  Making small talk, I ask if she knows Delilah, Dominique or Sabrina, but she doesn’t recognize their names.

Our conversation is halted when Spencer comes in to the kitchen.  “Just more of my mother’s bullshit.  She’s fine, just an asshole.  She wanted a fucking loan, if you can believe that shit.  We can go any time you want Damien.”

I gesture toward Tally and then motion for Spence to come over.  “Spence, this is Tally Simon.  Like us, she in no way wants to be here.  I’ve been keeping an eye on her.”

Tally briefly fills Spencer in on why she’s at the party.  At the conclusion of her explanation he tells her that we’re bailing, but if she wants to escape with us, she’s more than welcome.  Her relief is readily apparent.

“You guys are lifesavers!  When Damien came in I’d just got off the phone with a cab company that told me it would take upwards of two hours to get here.  I was ready to walk.”

We’re all anxious to leave so we continue talking as we head out the kitchen door.  No need to walk through the debauchery at the front of the house again.

Turning my way Spencer says, “The nights early.  Are you up for going out and having some fun?  I need to get this scene out of my head ASAP.”

Of course I’m in, and I politely ask Tally if she’d like to tag along.  Once she says she’d love to, the three of us head to a good bar in Santa Monica.

Tally’s very sweet.  She reminds me a lot of my sisters and the Tyler girls.  There is a quiet strength about her that I approve of.  She’s gorgeous, but I’m in no way attracted to her so it’s easy to talk to her.  Spence is taken with her as well, but in a very friendly way. I’m shocked when he tells her that the bar that we’re in used to be one of our favorite places to pick up women.

I’m pretty sure she’s going to be appalled, and I am blown away when she just laughs.  “Hey, more power to you.  If you guys find a girl who’s a keeper, send her my way.  I’m looking for that someone special.  I thought I’d found her, but she isn’t ready to come out to her family and I can’t be a secret.  I need something real.”

Over the course of the next few beers, Tally explains to us that her melancholy over her the situation with the girls that she likes is what brought her to Marceline’s party tonight.  When her friend’s boyfriend told her that there would be beautiful girls at the party, she had hope for a minute that she might meet somebody.  Unfortunately for her, Marceline’s parties aren’t thrown to meet nice people.  Those parties are about fucking, pure and simple.

By the end of the night, friendships are formed.  Spencer and I both like Tally and find spending time with her to be enjoyable.  When we pull up to her apartment building to drop her off, we all exchange phone numbers and make plans to go out again soon.

Once we’re sure that she’s safely in her building, Spence turns to me and says, “Don’t kill me, but I have an idea.  Keep an open mind and really think about it before you shoot it down.”

Well, now he’s piqued my interest. “What’s up Spence?”

“I think I know how to solve your Brooke problem.  You’re saying you can’t be with her because she’s a virgin, but you also said you don’t think she’s ever going to move on.  I say you ask Tally to come to a family dinner and pretend to be your date.  She’s hot as hell so no one will question it, and it will send a signal to Brooke that you are off the market.  Problem solved.”

My gut reaction is to say no.  I don’t relish lying to Brooke at all.  But the voice in my head tells me that I need to be selfless and help Brooke move on from me.  She deserves someone worthy.

Nodding my head at Spence I say, “You know what? Not your worst idea.  I’m going to talk to Tally and see if she would be willing to help me out.  It’s an easy way to let Brooke down without hurting her too much.  This way she can get on with her life.  Good thinking Spence.”

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

It’s hard to believe that I’m sitting in a jeweler with my future brother-in-law as he picks up my sister’s engagement ring.  I can tell he’s nervous about seeing the ring, and that makes me smile.  He’s come a long way since the days when he swore he’d never have a girlfriend, much less a fiancée.

It’s really touching, watching him fidget.  I’m used to seeing Dante as an alpha male who rarely falters.  This is the second time this month that I’ve seen him anxious, the first being the afternoon that he asked to meet me at my house and he asked me for permission to marry Sabrina.

I smile remembering how sweet he was.  I can’t wait to be able to share these memories with my sister.  It’s been damn near impossible to keep this under my hat.  She’s been dying to tell him that she loves him, but she is afraid he will panic.  I’ve commiserated with her and held my silence, all the while knowing that he’s completely in love with her and is ready to make the biggest commitment of all.

Feeling Dante tense beside me, I turn and see the jeweler coming toward us with the ring box on a tray.  I rub Dante’s shoulder in encouragement and he turns and smiles at me.  “Thanks for doing this with me Brooke.  I’m a wreck!”

Turning our attention to the jeweler, we both wait for him to open the box.  I can’t wait to see what Dante and the jeweler designed.  When Dante asked me for Sabrina’s hand, he’d also asked if I would be against to letting him melt down some of the metal from my mother’s engagement ring to have it put in to Sabrina’s.

I knew that would mean the world to my sister, so I didn’t even hesitate before saying yes.  Our mother’s engagement ring consisted of four large rubies, and once Dante got a look at it, he asked if I would mind him taking two of them and using them in Sabrina’s ring.  This is the first time I’ll be seeing how that all came together.

When the box opens and we see the ring for the first time, both of us gasp.  It’s stunning, and I know that my sister will love it.  I try to stay stoic but fail miserably as tears starts sliding down my cheeks.  Leaning in to Dante, I grab him in a hug and kiss his cheek.  “It’s beautiful, perfect and very Sabrina.  You did a great job Dante.  Thank you for making my sister’s dreams come true.”

We embrace for a few moments before I pull back to look at the ring again.  It really is awesome. Turning my attention back to Dante, I smile when I see how emotional he is about the ring.

“It’s me that should thank you.  It’s a definite plus that after Sabrina and I get married, you will be my sister.  I love you Brooke, and I’m happy that we’re all about to officially be one big family.”

My sister lucked out when she met Dante.  The two of them are so well matched that it’s almost too much.  I love that family means to him what it means to us, and I tell him so.

The appointment comes to a close and we head off to lunch together.  Dante chooses a great deli in the valley and we are seated right away.

We talk a bit more about the ring, and Dante reminds me that he’s put the additional two rubies are in a safe deposit box for when it comes time for me to get engaged.  I can’t help it, the thought of getting engaged brings Damien immediately to my mind, and my heartbeat speeds up.

I realize that I must have been making a face when Dante raises his eyebrow at me, and not in a warm fuzzy way.  There is a definite glower to his look.  “Well.  Am I to assume that there is a special guy in your life?”

I shake my head, mortified that I’ve been caught day dreaming.  “No! Nothing like that.  I was just imagining how great it will be when I find someone I want to spend my life with.”

Pretending that he’s just wiped the sweat from his brow, Dante smiles at me.  “Thank god.  I don’t think there is anyone good enough for you, Dominique or Delilah.  I’m going to be very hard on the guys you girls eventually bring home.  I’m warning you now that not just anybody will be getting those rubies from me.”

I have to force myself to smile past the lump in my throat.  The person that I want doesn’t want me, and it seems likely that the rubies will be in Dante’s care for many years.

The rest of our lunch passes quickly and a short while later Dante is dropping me off at my apartment.

“I’m so glad that you came with me today Brooke.  You mean the world to me.  Thanks for being there when I needed you.  It means more than I can ever say.”

I see so clearly what it is that my sister loves about this man.   Giving him a hug and a kiss, I shake my head when I feel the lump forming in my throat.  “Dante, I can’t tell you what it means to me that you asked me for my sister’s hand, and that you asked me to be with you today.  Thank you for this.  I can’t wait for you to officially be my big brother.  I adore you.”

The lump in my throat grows when I pull back and see that Dante is choked up.  He struggles for a minute and then says, “I thought that the family that I had would be it until the girls had children of their own.  You can never know how happy I am to have not only your sister, but you in my life.  It amazes me that I now have the family that I was too afraid to wish for because I never believed I was worthy of it.”

Smiling at him, I push a lock of his hair that his fallen down off his forehead.  “You deserve all of this and more Dante, and I know that you and my sister are going to be incredibly happy.  Anyone who spends even five minutes with the two of you knows how well matched you are.”

With a last kiss on my forehead, he lets me out of the car and then drives off.

Heading in to my apartment, I plop down on to the couch and turn the television on.  It’s been a rough couple of weeks, and I feel it from my head to my toes.  It’s unnatural to expend so much energy avoiding Damien when what I want to do is spend as much time with him as possible, but it’s the hand I’ve been dealt.

I’ve managed to cut down on the amount of time we spend together by telling everyone that I’ve been overloaded with work at my internship.  That’s been busy, but nothing that would have normally kept me from going out.

I’ve been hiding, plain and simple.  The rejection I felt when Damien made me feel like a bumbling virginal fool was too much.  Even knowing that he doesn’t want to be together hasn’t dimmed my feelings for him, and that’s why I’ve been hiding.  When I see him I am opened up all over again, and though I try to hide it, I know that he can see that I want him.

Eventually something is going to have to give, but I’m not sure what.  Our families are about to merge in the most permanent of ways and I’m supposed to start work for Hart International after graduation.  I can’t avoid him forever.

At times I’m so desperate to be with him that I’ve considered finding someone to take my virginity, just so that Damien can no longer use that as an excuse.  Thankfully the idea of doing something like that is abhorrent to me.  It’s Damien that I want, and no one else.  He’s stacked the deck against me though, and I don’t see a way out without doing something ridiculous, and that’s just not me.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

It’s been a tense couple of weeks.  I’ve noticed that Brooke is avoiding me more and more, and it hurts.  It hurts a lot.  More than it should, certainly.  I’m trying to push her away, and the fact that it’s working should make me feel better, not worse.

It’s now or never to nip this in the bud for good.  Brooke and my sister’s graduate in just a few weeks and after that I’ll be seeing her every day.

Tonight is the night I’m taking Tally home for family dinner, and I know that Brooke will get the message loud and clear.  I’ve got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach knowing that this will put the final brick in the wall between us, but I’m going through with it anyway.

Once Spencer suggested this plan and I’d agreed to it, I’d set to work on Tally.  She was uncomfortable participating in a charade, and had said no about four dozen times, but I’d kept after her until she agreed.

I set the wheels in motion by going to Sabrina and Dante and telling them that I met somebody.  Of course, they were both stunned.  I made sure to say that I hadn’t kissed or touched Tally yet. I can’t lie to them any more than I already have.

Since we’ve not been spending much time with the girls, Spence and I have been spending some time with Tally.  I’m very comfortable with her, so much so that she has started feeling like a sister to me, much like how I feel about Sabrina. In a lot of ways, I feel badly for Tally, and so does Spencer.  She’s powering her way through her first heartbreak, trying to deal with caring for someone that can’t make room for her in their life.

Tally talks about her ex-girlfriend Nikki like she’s perfect, save for the fact that she’s trapped in the closet and won’t reveal any real detail about her life.  Spencer and I have been trying to be Tally’s wingmen in an attempt to find somebody new, but so far, nothing.  She’s emotionally invested in a girl that can’t give her what she wants.

I see a parallel between Tally’s situation with Nikki and Sabrina’s with me. The only difference is that I’m actually bad for Brooke, whereas Tally is a real catch. Tally’s just like my sisters and the Tyler girls.  Sweet, considerate and kind, she doesn’t have any avarice in her. The girl turning her away out of fear of coming out is crazy.  I’ve found out the hard way that people like Tally, my sisters and the Tyler’s are one a million.

As close as I am to Tally, I wouldn’t be able to kiss her, so telling Dante and Sabrina that Tally is an innocent was the best way to deal with that.  They won’t be expecting me to be tactile with her, which is good.

I started setting tonight up weeks ago, just before my brother asked Sabrina to marry him.  I made sure that neither Sabrina nor Dante would spill the beans to the girls before dinner tonight by insisting that I didn’t want the three of them ganging up on me before tonight trying to meet Tally.

The drive to pick Tally up is made in silence as I try to mentally prepare myself for the grenade I’m about to throw in to my life.  When Tally opens the door, I notice immediately that she seems off and that there are tears in her eyes.

“Jesus Tal, what’s wrong?”

Running her fingers through her hair, she looks away.  “It’s Nikki.  She came over earlier and told me how much she misses me, how badly she feels about all this.  I spent most of the afternoon begging her to let me in to her life, but she won’t commit the way I need her to because of her family.  It was torture telling her to get out, but I did it.  I’m fine, just depressed.  Pretending to be happy tonight is probably the only thing that’s going to save me from sitting here crying.”

I can’t help it, I’m angry at Nikki.  Tally has come to mean a lot to me, and I feel about her love life the same way I do about my sisters.  If this was some guy, I’d be kicking his ass for hurting Tally.  I would never start a fight with a girl, but if I ever meet Nikki, she’s getting a piece of my mind.

I try to grab Tally in to a hug, but she shakes her head no.  “If you hug me, I’m going to stand here and cry all over your shirt.  It wouldn’t make the story you’ve told your family very believable if I turn up to dinner looking like I just came from a funeral.”

“Fuck that.  You get in here for a hug.  You need it, and I don’t care if we don’t go to dinner tonight at all.  You’re more important than the lie I’ve conceived.  We can do it another night.”

Tally’s lower lip quivers as she steps in to my arms, and I gently rub her back.  After a minute, she pulls back.  She managed not to cry, but I think it was a monumental effort.  “Thanks for that Damien.  You’re a good guy.  They don’t come any better than you and Spencer. Tell me again why you’re pushing this poor girl away?”

It’s my turn to feel like shit, and I shake my head at her as I step back.  “You see the good Tally, just like Brooke.  You don’t know where I’ve come from and what I’ve done.  Brooke is young like you, and she deserves better.  It might be the only selfless thing I ever do in my entire life, but I’m going to make sure she gets a happily ever after with someone worthy of her instead of a train wreck.”

Turning from me, Tally steps in to the living room and returns a moment later with her purse.  “If that’s really what you want, let’s get this over with.”

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Another Sunday, another family dinner that will be spent avoiding Damien and trying to pretend I’m not in love with him.  The whole thing is depressing, really.  Something is eventually going to have to give, and the way things are going, it will be me.

I don’t have an option to run away, even though a large part of me wants to do just that.  We’re about to become family.  In just eight short weeks, Damien will be best man and I will be maid of honor at Dante and Sabrina’s wedding.  I’m having some anxiety about that, knowing that we will have to walk together and take pictures together.  I have no choice but to keep my chin up and carry on, but it hurts.

Parking my car around the side of Dante’s house, I head inside.  I’m not sure if anyone else is noticing it, but with the exception of Dante and Sabrina, the mood of everyone in the room is pretty low.

Delilah looks unsettled, Spencer isn’t his normal happy self and Dominique looks like I feel.  I don’t know what’s going on with everyone else, but at the moment I’m most concerned with Dominique.  She’s been really off for a while now, and no matter what I say to her, she doesn’t say why.  The two of us make quite a pair, silent in our agony.  I can’t discuss her brother with her and she won’t discuss whatever is wrong with her with me.

Mustering up a smile, I make my way in to the kitchen and give hugs and kisses as I greet everyone in the room.  Turning to Dante, I comment that Aunt Sandra and Damien aren’t here yet.  I cross my fingers and hope that maybe Damien isn’t coming to dinner this week, but no such luck.

Smiling at me Dante says, “Sandra is in Mammoth with some friends for a few days and I guess Damien is running late.  Speaking of Damien… can you all give me your attention for a minute?”

Something about the way he says it makes my blood run cold, as though that sentence is a pre-cursor to bad news, even though logically I know that isn’t the case because Dante is smiling.

Sabrina makes her way over to Dante and wraps an arm around his waist and lays her head on his shoulder with a smile, and I assure myself that whatever Dante is about to say isn’t bad news.

“Damien asked us not to tell you in advance because he didn’t want everyone to gang up on him.  He’s been dating someone for the last few weeks, and he’s bringing her to dinner tonight.  He’s told Sabrina and me that it’s pretty serious.”

It takes every ounce of self-control that I possess not to burst in to tears. Instead, I stand there stock still as I feel the blood leaving my face and I hear Dominique and Delilah gasp from behind me.

I thought I’d known pain over Damien before.  I was wrong.  I’d take a thousand hours of the pain of him pushing me away in exchange for the agony I feel in my chest right now.  The thought that runs through my head is that now I know what a broken heart feels like.  I’d only thought I understood before.  The reality is far worse.

My brain screams “escape, escape” and without a word I turn and make my way from the room and run upstairs in to the bathroom, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor with my head in my hands. Inside myself I am screaming and crying, but on the outside I keep it in.  I can’t cry.  I can’t.  I refuse to meet Damien and his girlfriend with a tear stained face.

I hear the door to the bathroom open and I struggle to regain my composure before I look to see who’s here.  Taking a deep breath, I silently pray for strength as I lift my head and find Dominique and Delilah coming to sit in front of me.

Delilah wastes no time getting right to the point.  “Brooke… I’m so sorry.  We didn’t know there was a girlfriend.  Dominique and I both have known for a while that you and Damien have feelings for each other, but we didn’t want to upset you by saying anything. We’ve been waiting for you to come to us when you were ready.”

I feel relief that they know, but the relief is so muted by everything else that it’s almost non-existent.  I try to muster a smile but can’t quite get there, and I just shrug my shoulders.  “I’ve wanted desperately to discuss it with both of you, but I didn’t want Damien to be mad at me for spilling the beans.  He’s told me often enough that he can’t be with me in that way, but I was holding out hope in my heart of hearts.  I’m an idiot.”

Delilah and Dominique get on either side of me and wrap their arms around me, comforting me and letting me know that they support me.

A few moments pass in silence and then Delilah says, “Let me guess.  He told you he’s no good for you?”

I nod and say, “Yes.  You know your brother very well.  He’s been pushing me away for months.  That’s why I’ve been so absent lately.”

Delilah says nothing, just shakes her head with a sad look on her face and the room returns to silence until Dominique speaks.

“I guess being pushed away hurts like a bitch.  It always seems like a good idea at the time, but I know that if Damien saw you right now, he’d know how wrong it was.”

I shake my head.  “It doesn’t matter now.  I’ve been a fool, and Damien bringing a girlfriend to dinner only proves that.  I’ve no choice but to go down there and make the best of it.”

After a few more minutes spent huddling against the bathroom wall with the girls, I take a deep breath and stand.

“Let’s go get this over with.”

Dominique holds my hand as we walk down the stairs as Delilah leads the way.  I pause in the doorway to the kitchen when I see that Damien is facing away from me, talking to Dante and my sister.  He’s got his arm around the girl he’s brought with him, and I feel it like I’ve been kicked in the gut.

I see my sister look at me and her face tells me she has questions, but I shake my head.  Later, I tell her with my eyes.  She doesn’t look happy, but she gives me an almost imperceptible nod.

Pulling my hand from Dominique’s, I step in to the kitchen and brace myself to meet the girl Damien cares enough about to have brought her to a family dinner.

Although we aren’t holding hands anymore, Dominique stays at my side as we cross the kitchen for the introductions.  We’re almost close enough to get the introductions started when Damien starts to turn toward us.

I can’t look at him, so I don’t.  I focus on the back of the girls head and will her to turn around.  I need to see the girl that has Damien.  When she turns, I feel sick to my core.  Of course, she has to be absolutely gorgeous.

From next to me, I hear Dominique let out a shocked gasp at the same time that I see Damien’s girlfriend’s mouth drop open.  What the hell? She looks like she’s just seen a ghost.  Following her gaze, I turn to Dominique, only to find her staring at the girl in clear shock.

Stepping forward, Damien’s girlfriend walks toward us and stops in front of Dominique.  “Nikki? What are you doing here?”

The silence is broken by two more harsh gasps, and I spin to find Damien and Spencer gaping at each other.  What the hell is going on?

I look at Sabrina and Dante, but they seem as confused as I am.  Clearly the three of us are missing something.  With a cry of despair, Dominique runs from the room.  Delilah grabs my hand and the two of us head upstairs to look for her.

We find her in one of the guest bedrooms, lying on the bed with her face jammed in to a pillow.  Delilah curls up next to her on one side and I take the other.  Could this day get any freaking weirder?

Clearly Damien’s girlfriend knows Dominique, but she can’t know her very well since she called her Nikki.  I’ve never ever heard someone call her that before.

Delilah and I each lay with a hand on Dominique’s back, rubbing in circular motions as we stare at each other.  I raise an eyebrow at her and she lifts her shoulders, letting me know that she has no clue either.

We each rub her back and encourage her to speak, but she says nothing.  After a few minutes, the silence is broken when Dominique flips over and sits up.  Looking at Delilah she says, “I really wish it wasn’t coming out like this, and I apologize for being a coward and not saying something to you in particular before now. I’m a lesbian.”

Turning to me she says, “I’m pretty sure I’m in love with the girl Damien has downstairs.  She’s gay too, which means she was only masquerading as his girlfriend.”

My immediate reaction is to push everything about Damien and the girl out of my head.  I need to focus on Dominique, let her know that I don’t care that she’s gay.

Delilah speaks first, grabbing her twin in a massive hug.  “I’ve suspected as much for a long time.  You can’t really have thought that any of us would care who you love!  I love you no matter what.  You’ve been silly.”

When Delilah pulls back, I grab Dominique and hug her too.  “I couldn’t possibly care less about you being a lesbian. All I care about is that the person that you care about treats you well.  You never needed to keep this a secret.”

Pulling back, I see that she’s quietly crying.  “I love you girls so much.  I knew you guys would understand.  It’s Dante and Damien that I’ve been worried about.”

Delilah and I both stare at her in surprise.  What the heck does she think those two are going to do?  They both are far from being close minded.

Delilah asks the question before I can.  “Why would you be worried about them?  Those two adore you and they always will.  How can you not know that they won’t care?”

Swiping at her tears Dominique says, “Because of mom and dad.  I know that Damien and Dante both had issues with the fact that they swung both ways and had sex with any and everybody.  I don’t want them to think that I’m promiscuous or sex crazy like our parents were.”

Delilah brushes that off with a “Humph,” and so do I.  I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that neither of her brothers will blink an eye, as long as she’s happy.

Our conversation is interrupted by a knock at the door.  Without waiting for one of us to say come in, the door swings open and Dante, Sabrina, Damien and Spencer walk in.

My sister all but radiates anger in Damien’s direction, and I realize that while we’ve been sitting up here talking to Dominique, Damien must have confessed that she’s not really his girlfriend.

Coming to the end of the bed, Dante gestures for Dominique to come to him, and I watch with a lump in my throat as she bounces off the bed in to his waiting arms.

“Dominique… I love you honey.  I’ll always love you, no matter what.  It breaks my heart that you thought you had to keep this a secret from me, from all of us.  We’re your family, and that’s forever.”

Damien walks to the side of her and grabs her from Dante.  “I agree with everything that big lug just said.  You’ll always be my baby.  Nothing you can do would ever make me turn my back on you.  I’m sorry about tonight but I’m in a way I’m also glad if it helps you to be able to get out there and have love.  That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”

Spencer is next, followed by Sabrina.  The room all but overflows with love for Dominique, and I can see that a weight has been lifted from her shoulders.

Gesturing toward the door Spencer says, “Tally is in the den.  You need to go talk to her.  Clearly you have some explaining to do.  You could have knocked me over with a feather when she identified you as being the Nikki that Damien and I have been hearing about.  She’s a wonderful girl Dominique.  Don’t let her get away.”

After nodding at Spencer, Dominique looks at each one of us for a minute before smiling.  “You all are the best family that a girl could ask for.  I’m going to go make this right.  I love you guys!”

I think each of us has a tear in our eye as she leaves the room to go face her future.

CHAPTER TWENTY

For a few moments after Dominique leaves, the room is silent.  When I see my sister coming toward me, I put up my hand in a “Stop” gesture.  “I’d like to speak to Damien everybody.  Can we please have a few minutes?”

The emptying of the bedroom happens within seconds, leaving Damien and I alone.  My stomach is in knots, my thoughts a mish mash of angry thoughts.

After closing the door, he turns and looks at me, his mouth opening as he starts to say something.

Holding my hand up, I say, “Shut up.  You shut your mouth until you’re ready to answer this question, and answer it honestly.  Don’t you dare lie to me about this. Did you, or did you not, bring that poor girl here specifically to make me go away?”

The silence surrounds me like a fog as while Damien clenches and unclenches his jaw.

“It’s not that I wanted you to go away Brooke, it’s….”

I interrupt him with a yell.  “NO!  You answer the question.  No more lies.  No half-truths.  No evasions. You take some goddamn responsibility for what you’ve done. Did. You. Do. This. So. That. I. Would. Go. Away?”

I’ve never seen him look so shattered, but I’m past the point of caring.  My humiliation and rage pulse through me like fire, and I need him to admit what he’s done.

“Not in the way you mean Brooke, but yes.  Yes, I did.  I thought that if…”

In a nanosecond, I am across the room, shoving past him to get to the door.

Grabbing for me, Damien pulls me in to his arms.  “Jesus Brooke!  Please don’t go.  I fucked up honey.  I didn’t want to do this.  I was clutching at straws and I was wrong.  I’m sorry! Please…. I’m so, so sorry.”

I hate myself for the way my body leans in to his as my pulse accelerates.  I’m furious and hurt, but every cell screams out for him anyway.

Pushing against his chest with my right hand, I struggle to escape his grip.  “You win Damien.  You’ve finally got what you wanted.  I’m done.  Let me go!”

Groaning, he pulls me in closer.  His hand slides around the back of my neck to hold me steady as his mouth covers mine in a kiss so sad, I feel my heart break in to a million little pieces.

I try again to pull back, but he’s having none of it. The more I try to get away, the more he holds on to me.  “No Brooke.  Please, no.  I didn’t win! I lost.  I fucking lost everything.  Don’t leave me.  I want you, I’ve always wanted you.  I’ve been a damn fool. I need you.”

I allow myself to return his kiss.  He’s passionate and intense, our tongues mated in the most tender kiss I’ve ever been a part of.  I love him so much that it’s too much, but in the end, it changes nothing.

I can’t stay here.  I am broken inside, devastated by his betrayal.  I need time alone.

Shoving him back, I drag the back of my hand across my mouth.  “You’re lying to me Damien. If you cared, you would never have done this in the first place.  I can’t be with someone who would rather lie to me than be with me.  I’m done with you Damien.  Now let me go.  You accomplished what you wanted to tonight.”

His face is a mask of agony, but I just can’t care anymore.  I need to save myself.  Turning away from him, I walk out of the room, closing the door with a soft click behind me.

I run down the stairs, anxious to leave.  I need to put as much distance as humanly possible between Damien and I, immediately.

I skid to a halt at the bottom when my sister comes at me through the foyer.  I can see that she’s been crying, and I feel awful.

I hug her hard for a moment before stepping back.  “Rina, I have to go.  I can’t see him right now.  I’m going home.  If you want to talk tonight, come over.  If not, we can meet tomorrow.  I’m sorry I can’t stay.  I can’t.”

Turning on my heel, I run out the front door and race to my car.  The sooner I’m out of here, the better.

I’m home relatively quickly, and I throw myself on the couch as my tears start to fall.

I’m alone for about five minutes before Sabrina walks in.  Coming over to the couch, she sits down and pulls me in to her arms.

“Brooke, why didn’t you tell me about you and Damien?  You know I would have been there for you, right?”

Sighing, I pull back.  “Yes, of course I knew you would be there for me!  I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to cause a rift within the family, which is the same reason you didn’t tell me about Dante.  Also, nothing that ever happened with Damien was official.  He wouldn’t do anything because I’m a virgin.”

Smacking her forehead with her hand, Sabrina stares at me in shock.  “So that’s who you were talking about when you told me that you wished you weren’t still a virgin?”

“Yes.  It’s been him since the first night we met.  I was head over heels for him.  Clearly, he didn’t feel the same way.  Bringing that girl to dinner just to have her pretend to be his girlfriend so that he could make me go away proves that.  I feel like a damn fool.”

Shaking her head, Sabrina stares off in to the distance for a minute as she gathers her thoughts.  Turning back my way she says, “No.  I don’t think so.  The night before I left for Las Vegas when I ran from Dante, Damien told me he had feelings for someone.  He was very sketchy about it, and I was too out of it to pick up on what he was saying at the time, but he was talking about you Brooke.  I know what he did was wrong, and believe me, I am livid.  But I saw him tonight for a minute after you left, and he was in agony. I didn’t realize that Damien felt that way about anyone, until I saw it on his face. Remember, he’s got the same issues that Dante did.  If you really want to be with him, I think you should try.  Dante was worth the fight for me, and I think Damien would be worth it for you, too.”

I ponder this silently for a few minutes, trying to get how I feel across to her.  Looking back at my sister I break it down for her in the only way that I can.  “I can’t Rina.  I just can’t.  Not anymore.  I’m beyond humiliated, beyond hurt.  What Damien did was cruel, and I can’t reconcile that with someone who would have any feelings for me.  I’m sorry Sabrina, because I know this makes it awkward for you, Dante and the rest of the family.  But I can’t.  I will try my best to be as pleasant around him as possible, but other than being cordial, I’m through with him.  Forever.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

I’ve made a horrific mistake.  Bringing Tally here was a bad idea, likely the worst plan I’ve ever followed through on.  With each passing second I am more and more certain that I can’t do this.

I think that Tally senses it too, because I can feel her shaking nervously next to me as I finish introducing her to Dante and Rina.

Putting my arm around her waist in a gesture of support, I blurt out, “I can’t do this.  Rina, Dante… Tally isn’t my girlfriend.  She’s just a…”

I feel the air in the room change, and immediately I know that Brooke has entered the kitchen.  Turning toward her, I try to make eye contact with her, but she refuses to look at me.  Her eyes are locked on the back of Tally’s head, and my stomach plummets.  It’s crystal clear that she’s upset, and to top it all off, both of my sisters are glaring at me. Even Spencer looks uncomfortable, and this was his idea.

Making the decision to confess what I’ve done, I open my mouth to explain.  I am interrupted by the sound of two gasps.  I recognize the one as having come from my sister Dominique.  I stare at her as concern rockets through my body as I see that she looks as though she’s just been kicked.

What I hear next makes my eyes bulge almost out of my head.  Staring at my sister Tally asks, “Nikki?  What are you doing here?”

I hear Spencer inhale as I turn to look at him, and the two of us exchange shocked glances.  Holy shit!  My sister Dominique is Tally’s Nikki.  Which means my sister is gay and has been hiding it from all of us.

The room all but explodes in a flurry of energy as everyone starts moving.  Dominique runs from the room, Brooke and Delilah hot on her tail. Tally runs out the side door and Spencer gives me a look to let me know he’s going to handle it. I’m left alone with Dante and Sabrina.

My brother wastes no time in getting straight to the point.  “What the fuck just happened here?”

Leaning back against the counter and crossing my arms across my chest, I say, “Well.  What just happened was… I brought Tally here tonight to pretend to be my girlfriend.  Thing is… Tally’s gay.  She’s been talking to Spencer and I about a girl named Nikki that she likes who won’t commit to dating her because was afraid to come out to her family.  Turns out, Nikki is actually Dominique.”

Dante and Sabrina both look shocked, but Dante just about explodes in frustration.  “Wait.  Are you telling me that our sister is gay and was afraid to come out to us? What the hell?”

“Yeah. Tally has talked to Spence and me quite a lot lately about ‘Nikki’, and how adamant she was about not letting her family know that she was a lesbian.  I can’t believe that Dominique thought for one second that we would care about that!”

“Damien, we need to tell her we don’t care one way or the other.  I just want her to be happy.  Come on, let’s go upstairs and find her.”

As both of us shift to leave the room, Sabrina speaks.  “No.  Hold on a minute.  Damien.  I think you owe us an explanation for why you brought a girl here to pretend to be your girlfriend.”

Turning back my way, Dante gives me an assessing look.  “Rina’s right. What the fuck would you do that for Damien?”

It feels as though there is a spotlight on me.  My heartbeat speeds up and my pulse spike with anxiety.  This isn’t going to go over well.

It takes concentrated effort not to fidget as I shift so that I can face Sabrina.  I need to make her understand why I chose to do this in a way that doesn’t end with her hating me.

“Rina… please don’t hate me for this.  I brought Tally here tonight; I did all of this, because Brooke and I have feelings for each other.  It was getting out of hand, and I just wanted to spare Brooke the burden of dealing with my bullshit.  We all know that your sister deserves better than the likes of me.”

Rina looks like she can’t decide whether to strangle me or just stomp out of the room entirely.  She settles on chewing my ass out.

“You really are a stupid asshole sometimes Damien.  My sister has been acting really strangely lately, and I’ve been concerned.  Dante and I both have.  Now you’re telling me that you are the cause of her unhappiness?  That pisses me off, big time.  How dare you try to make her decisions for her?  Bringing a fake girlfriend to the house?  That’s insensitive to the nth degree.  I saw her face when she walked in Damien.  If you were trying to hurt her, mission accomplished.  Right now, I’m so frustrated that I really have nothing else to say to you.”

Gesturing at me in disgust, she turns to Dante.  “I’m going to go make sure that Spencer has that poor girl under control.  She should know that ‘Nikki’s’ family is supportive.  Be right back.”  After kissing him briefly on the lips, Sabrina walks out the kitchen door in to the night.

The kitchen is silent for a moment as Dante stares at me.  “So… Brooke, huh?”

Turning and walking to the breakfast bar, I slide up on to a stool.  “Yes.  Brooke.”

Marching across the room toward me, Dante stops next to me and puts his hand on my shoulder.  “You need to tell me what happened so that I know whether or not I need to kick your ass.  I love that girl, and my future wife isn’t too happy with you right now.”

Burying my head in my hands, I let out a groan.  “That’s just it Dante.  Nothing really has happened.  We kissed one night in the driveway here, something happened in Vegas, and then a few weeks ago we almost had sex at my house.  I stopped when I realized she was a virgin, and I’ve been running from her ever since.”

“Wait, all this because Brooke is a virgin?”

“Of course it’s because Brooke is a virgin!  If she wasn’t, I’d be with her right now. I’m fucking in love with her, but I can’t take that chance with her Dante.  I don’t want her wasting her virginity on me.  What if I’m a total fuck up in a relationship?  I have less experience in the relationship department than she does!  Who knows what the hell I would do!”

I’m shocked when I feel him hit me over the head.  “Seriously, you’re saying that to me?  I never had any kind of relationship before Rina, and look at us!  I could have been a fuck up too, but I’m not.  I’ve never been happier.  And you know who helped me see that?  You did asshole.  I’m with a Tyler girl Damien.  I know what you’d be getting in to with Brooke, and I think you’re a damn fool for pushing her away.  You’re my brother and I love you, but you fucked this up. Even I didn’t sink this low with Rina. I hope for your sake that you didn’t blow this to smithereens so badly that there is no getting Brooke back.  If you lose her for good… that’s when you’re going to have a hard time living with yourself.  I have to ask you the same thing Brooke had to ask me to wake me the fuck up.  What are you going to do when she’s with another man, and she shows up here swollen with his child?”

Fuck me.  Why didn’t I think of that before now?   What he just said makes me want to vomit.  I would never want Brooke to have children with another man. What have I done?

Our conversation is interrupted by the return of Tally, Spencer and Sabrina.

Taking control of the situation, Sabrina instructs Spencer to show Tally to the den to wait for Dominique.  Turning to Dante she says, “We all need to go tell Dominique how much we love her, and then we need to send her to Tally.  They need to talk.”

Turning to me she says, “The jury is out on you right now.  If I didn’t know what your issues are, I’d throw your ass out of this house.  I love you Damien, but I’m pissed.  If you do anything else to hurt my sister, be prepared for my wrath.”

Wonderful.  Now I’ve got both of the Tyler sisters angry at me.  I’m batting a thousand tonight.

The three of us walk up the stairs in search of the girls.  Dante gestures to the one closed door before he knocks on it.  Without waiting for an answer, he swings it open.

Brooke and Delilah are on the bed with a clearly upset Dominique, and my heart breaks for my sister.  I hate that she’s been unhappy.

Walking to the end of the bed, Dante gestures for Dominique to come to him, and she all but jumps off the bed in to his arms.

“Dominique… I love you honey.  I’ll always love you, no matter what.  It breaks my heart that you thought you had to keep this a secret from me, from all of us.  We’re your family, and that’s forever.”

Taking her from Dante, I kiss her forehead and hug her tightly.  “I agree with everything that big lug just said.  You’ll always be my baby.  Nothing you can do would ever make me turn my back on you.  I’m sorry about tonight but I’m in a way I’m also glad if it helps you to be able to get out there and have love.  That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”

Spencer steps forward next.  “Dominique, you’re my family, regardless that we don’t share blood.  You have a place in my heart no matter what.  I love you.”

Rina is last to grab her, and her words have all of us choking back tears. “When my parents died, I thought Brooke and I would never be a part of a family, together, again.  You all changed that for us.  We are a family.  There is nothing you could do that would ever make any of us turn our backs on you.  Not ever.  The fact that you’re a lesbian changes nothing sweetheart. We all just want you to love and be loved. This family is forever, no matter what.”

Gesturing toward the door Spencer says, “Tally is in the den.  You need to go talk to her.  Clearly you have some explaining to do.  You could have knocked me over with a feather when she identified you as being the Nikki that Damien and I have been hearing about.  She’s a wonderful girl Dominique.  Don’t let her get away.”

I’m relieved when Dominique wipes her tears and smiles at all of us.  “You all are the best family that a girl could ask for.  I’m going to go make this right.  I love you guys!”

The room is silent for a few moments as we all get our emotions under control, and then the silence is broken by Brooke.

“I’d like to speak to Damien everybody.  Can we please have a few minutes?”

Walking across the bedroom, I close the door to give us some privacy.  My entire future hinges on what happens here.  I need to make her understand how I feel, need her to know how sorry I am.  Before I can get a word out, she holds up her hand at me.

“Shut up.  You shut your mouth until you’re ready to answer this question, and answer it honestly.  Don’t you dare lie to me about this.  Did you, or did you not, bring that poor girl here specifically to make me go away?”

I’ve got a bad, bad feeling about this.  She isn’t going to let me explain what I’ve done.

“It’s not that I wanted you to go away Brooke, it’s….”

Taking me by surprise, Brooke yells, “NO!  You answer the question.  No more lies.  No half-truths.  No evasions. You take some goddamn responsibility for what you’ve done. Did. You. Do. This. So. That. I. Would. Go. Away?”

She’s destroying me with her anger.  What can I do?  I’m losing her, if I haven’t lost her already.

“Not in the way you mean Brooke, but yes.  Yes, I did.  I thought that if…”

In a nanosecond, she is across the room, shoving past me to get to the door.

I lurch for her, pulling her in to my arms.  “Jesus Brooke!  Please don’t go.  I fucked up honey.  I didn’t want to do this.  I was clutching at straws and I was wrong.  I’m sorry! Please…. I’m so, so sorry.”

Pushing against my chest, she struggle to get away from me.  “You win Damien.  You’ve finally got what you wanted.  I’m done.  Let me go!”

Groaning, I pull her in closer.  I can’t lose her.  I just can’t.  I won’t survive.  Sliding my hand around the back of her neck to hold her in place, I cover her mouth with my own. I pour all of my sadness in to the kiss, praying that she will feel how sorry I am even if she won’t listen to the words I need to say.

She struggles to pull away, but I just can’t let her go.

“No Brooke.  Please, no.  Don’t leave me.  I want you, I’ve always wanted you.  I’ve been a damn fool. I need you.”

I feel a flicker of hope when she starts kissing me back, her tongue sliding against mine.  She tastes so good, my girl, and I wonder how I was ever able to push her away at all.  She’s my heart. How have I been so blind?

My heart shatters in to a million tiny pieces when she shoves me back from her.

“You’re lying to me Damien. If you cared, you would never have done this in the first place.  I can’t be with someone who would rather lie to me than be with me.  I’m done with you Damien.  Now let me go.  You accomplished what you wanted to tonight.  You win.”

Slamming the door behind her, she leaves me with nothing but a shattered heart.  I’ve lost Brooke for good, which means I’ve lost everything.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

I’ve been shuffling through life like a ghost for the last few weeks.  Everything around me is dull, lifeless and unappealing.  I’m not sleeping and I’m barely eating. Everything weighs on me.  This is, I realize, what a broken heart feels like.  Nothing could ever have prepared me for this.  I am gutted, an empty shell.

When I do manage to sleep I wake up crying, because in my dreams, I relive over and over again the moment that I realized that Damien cared so little for me that he created an enormous lie to get away from me.  I feel like I should be wearing a shirt that says “STALKER.”  I can’t believe that I was so obnoxious in my desire for Damien that I made him uncomfortable enough to create such a lie.

I can see that my sister and the rest of the family are all very worried, but thus far I have been unable to bring myself back from the melancholy that has taken ahold me.  It’s hard for me to even be around any of them, and I generally try to avoid them at all costs.

Even my college graduation last week was joyless. I’d spent the day in agony.  I missed my parents so much that I could barely function. Having to see Damien had damn near killed me, and I did everything I could to be as far from his as possible, even managing to avoid looking straight at him.

Dominique and Delilah were thrilled to graduate, but in photos from that day, it’s clear to see that I’m not really present.  The only good thing about the day was seeing Tally again, and starting to get to know her.  She and Dominique are so well matched, and even though it stings to see someone else so happy and in love when I’m miserable, it makes me happy for Dominique.  She deserves to be happy.

I’m sure that it doesn’t help that I am currently out of school and haven’t been working. Dante had tried, so hard, to talk me in to starting on Monday when the girls did, but I just couldn’t.  There is no way that I can see Damien every day at work just yet.  I think it would destroy me.

It’s been three weeks since the night I realized that Damien wanted me to go away so badly that he’d perpetuated a huge lie, and I know I can’t keep going like this.  I’ve decided that today I am going to get my hair and nails done.  I care not a bit about doing either, but I need to get myself out of the house.

After a quick shower, I go in to my closet and put on a pair of navy shorts and a white tank top.  After spraying myself with my raspberry body mist, I slip in to a pair of white sandals.  Taking in my reflection in the mirror, I groan.  I look gaunt and my eyes stare flatly back at me.  Is this ever going to get better, or am I confined to living half a life without the person that I’d wanted to love me?

Before leaving I add a pair of sunglasses and grab my purse.  Once I’m in my car I put the roof down.  I’m hoping the sun and the fresh air will help lift my mood.

I feel a bit more grounded when I get back home a few hours later.  I see now how people get sucked in to a funk and just can’t get out of it.  If I don’t pull myself out now, I never will.

Once inside, I call Delilah.  I quickly explain to her that I want to go out, and then ask what her plans for the night are.  She can barely contain her shock.

“Really, you want to go out?  Oh, thank god!  I’ve been so worried Brooke.  I’m headed out tonight with some old friends from the sorority house.  Most of them are girls that you know.  Get yourself over here by eight and we can head out after that.”

It’s an effort, but I force myself to dress up for the night.  “I must get back to normal,” I tell myself over and over.

I settle on wearing an aqua colored mini skirt and a white off the shoulder top.  Once I’ve got a pair of sexy platform sandals on, I feel like I look pretty good.  As good as it gets right now, anyway.

The bar that I wind up in with Delilah and her frat sisters is relatively low key, which is nice.  I’m not sure that I could handle loud right now.  It would be completely overwhelming.

A bunch of the girls have brought friends with them, and some of them are men.  Clearly, I’m not looking for anyone, but after an hour or so of being at the bar, one of the guys strikes up a conversation with me.  His name is Doug, and he’s actually very attractive, in a surfer boy kind of way.  He’s easy going and chilled out.

Although I have no attraction to him, he is easy to talk to.  We spend about forty-five minutes talking about our after college aspirations. I’m just starting to feel good about my decision to come out tonight when I sense a change in the atmosphere around me.

At first I ignore it and continue talking.  I’ve been ridiculously out of it for weeks, and I conclude that I’m probably just over stimulated.

The look of discomfort on Doug’s face is the only clue I get that someone is behind me.  The next thing I know, a warm hand has slid across my shoulder.  The goose bumps that immediately rise on my arms can only mean one thing, and I turn slowly to find Damien staring down at me.

Just like that, the butterflies that have been asleep in my stomach for weeks flutter to life.  How does he do this to me with just a small touch?  Why am I no closer to not caring?

Glaring at Doug he says, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I need to speak with Brooke immediately.”

While his mouth says that he’s sorry to interrupt, his body language and his tone of voice say that he is anything but.

I watch, half amused and half infuriated, as Doug beats a hasty retreat.

Damien uses Doug’s exit to his advantage and slides himself on to Doug’s stool within seconds.

I drink the sight of Damien.  Oddly, he doesn’t look so good.  There are dark circles under his eyes, his skin is unusually pale and he looks as though he’s lost weight.

I shiver when he takes my hand in his and he doesn’t let me pull my hand away, even though I try to.

“Brooke, I can’t do this anymore.  I was as patient as I could be, and I’ve given you your space. I’m dying here. Can we please go somewhere and talk this out?”

I struggle to comprehend what I’m seeing before me.  Unless I’m losing it, Damien has tears in his eyes.  What the hell?

He’s right.  We need to put this behind us.  Dante and Sabrina’s wedding is coming quickly, and Damien and I need to be able to speak to each other or the day is going to be a nightmare.

I nod my assent at him.  “Where and when?”

He swallows before answering me.  “How about my house and right now?”

I guess it’s best to just get it out of the way.  No sense in delaying the inevitable.  After answering in the affirmative and telling him that I came with Delilah, he heads over to tell her that we are leaving.  She gives me a hopeful smile, but I just shake my head.

This isn’t going to have a happy ending.  At the end of the day, Damien still doesn’t want me.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

These last weeks have been the worst of my life.  I didn’t realize until I lost her how much I’d come to rely on being with Brooke.

Seeing her at her graduation, and not being able to speak to her, was agonizing.  She was right in front of me but a million miles away at the same time.  She refused to even look at me, and it broke my heart into a million tiny pieces.  It’s true what they say.  You don’t know what you have until it is gone.

While I knew that Brooke was amazing, I’d failed to fully understand the million different things about her that filled my heart.  It’s only in her absence that I realize what I’ve really lost.

My heart is shattered, absolutely done in.  With the way that I’d been brought up, I thought I knew pain.  I had no idea.  This is real pain, and it isn’t dissipating at all.

Everyone is tip-toeing around me.  After a week of all but ignoring me, even Sabrina had started to try and help me come out of my self-imposed exile.  Like my brother, Spence and my sisters before her, she failed.

I can’t forgive myself for what I did to Brooke.  I lie in bed every night torturing myself as I picture her face when she pushed me away.  There was no caring left in her for me, and I think a part of me died right then.

Like every night for the last few weeks, my plan is to sit on my ass tonight and do nothing but be miserable.  Right now, I’m excelling at that.  It seems to be the only thing I do well anymore.

When I hear my front door open, I want to scream.  As Dominique, Tally and Spencer walk in, I glare at each of them. “What the fuck?”

Glaring right back at me, Spencer gestures to me.  “That’s our line bro.  What the fuck are you doing sitting here day after day with your thumb up your ass?  You’re fuckin miserable and so is she.  You need to fix this.”

After smacking Spence on the arm, Dominique comes and sits down next to me.  “Spence was a little crass with the way he said it, but he’s right.  You’re sitting here doing nothing, and all that’s telling Brooke is that you really don’t care.”

“What? Of course I care! I’m fucking dying over here without her.  She walked out on me.  I’m giving her what she wanted.  It’s the right thing to do.  What would you guys have me do, stalk her?”

Giving me his most exasperated look, Spence shakes his head at me.  “No one is saying stalk her you asshole.  What we are saying is that it’s time for you to stop being such a bitch.  Right now, you’ve still got a chance to fix this, but every day that option dwindles more and more.  You’re scaring the shit out of all of us, and Brooke is no better off.  It’s time to shit or get off the pot.”

“She doesn’t fucking want to talk to me! You didn’t see her face when she left me standing in that room.  She hates me.  She fucking hates me!”

Hustling across the room, Tally grabs me in a bear hug. “Damien, she doesn’t hate you.  I saw her face that day in the kitchen.  She’s in love with you.  Yes, you hurt her.  But if you take responsibility and tell her the truth, there is a way back.  It won’t be there forever though.  If you don’t do something, and do it soon, then yes.  You will have lost her.”

I’m too full of nervous energy to sit, so I start to pace.  Just then I hear my text message alert buzz.  Picking up my cell, I see the text is from Delilah. It reads: “I’m out with Brooke.  It’s time for you to get off your ass.”  Her next gives me there location.

“Um.  Guys?  I just got a text from Delilah.  She’s out with Brooke.  What do I do?”

In unison they all answer, “GO!”

Glancing down at myself, I note that I’m wearing a pair of black jeans and a dark gray tee shirt.  It’s going to have to do, because I’m not wasting time changing.  As I put my shoes on, I address the three of them.  “I hope to god you’re all right about this.  Wish me luck.  I think I’m going to need it!”

The sounds of the three of them clapping and yelling “Good Luck” is what I hear as I run out my front door.  It would appear that their wishing me luck worked, because the address to the bar Delilah and Brooke are at is less than fifteen minutes from my house.  Finding a spot in the lot, I head in to the bar.

I spot her before I’m all the way through the door. Brooke stands out to me like a beacon of light in the dark.  I take note of the guy she’s talking to. He’s keeping a respectable distance, but I still fight against instinct to go over and tell him to get the hell away from my girl.

In the end, the reason I don’t do just that is because I know Brooke would never tolerate that.  If there is one thing I know about the Tyler girls, it’s that they don’t put up with that caveman shit.

On my way over to where Brooke is sitting, I make eye contact with my sister.  She mouths, “Good luck” to me, and I nod in thanks.  I’m going to need it.

I shiver as I come up behind Brooke, close enough to take in her scent.  Staring at the guy she’s talking to, I slide my arm around her shoulder and gently pull her toward me.

Glaring at the guy she’s with I say, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I need to speak with Brooke immediately.”

The good news is that the guy isn’t a dumbass, and he beats a hasty retreat.

As soon as he’s off his stool, I slide on to it so that I’m facing Brooke.  She’s so beautiful that it takes my breath away.  I’ve missed her beyond reason, and it pains me to see that she seems more fragile than I’ve ever seen her.

Leaning forward, I take her hand in mine.  It feels amazing to touch her again.  I’ve missed her so much.  When she tries to pull her hand away, I keep her hand. Seeing her… it’s almost too much for my heart, and I have to blink a fine sheen of tears away from my eyes.

“Brooke, I can’t do this anymore.  I was as patient as I could be, and I’ve given you your space.  Can we please go somewhere and talk this out?”

I am prepared to fight for her, thinking that I will need to convince her.  I’m shocked when she I nods in agreement.  “Where and when?”

Now that she’s agreed, there is no way I am letting her out of my sight until I explain everything to her.  “How about my house and right now?”

“That’s fine.  I came with Delilah, so you need to tell her that I’m leaving.”

After quickly telling Delilah that we are leaving, I place my hand on Brooke’s back and guide her out of the bar.

After I’ve gotten her settled in to the passenger seat of my car, I get in to the driver’s seat and drive us toward my house.  As nervous as I am that she won’t listen to me, I feel better than I have in weeks just having her next to me.  Once again I mentally berate myself.  What the fuck was I thinking pushing her away?

I’m all nervous energy as I park in my driveway.  My future, our future, hinges on what happens when we talk.  I pray that it goes well, because I don’t think I can handle any more time without her.

Walking around to her side of the car, I open the door for her and then walk alongside her until we get to my front door and we have to separate so that I can unlock it.

Flicking on the lights, I gesture for her sit on the couch. Once she’s chosen where to sit, I waste no time in taking the spot right next to her.  I’m past done being away from her, and I need to be close.  I’m encouraged by the flush that spreads across her cheeks.

“Brooke, the apology I owe you is huge.  I thought I was doing something honorable, something that would save you from me.  I was scared sweetheart.  I need you to know that when you walked in to the kitchen that night, I had already decided to pull the plug on the lie.  I knew I was wrong, and I was going to tell you that.  But then the shit hit the fan and it was too late.”

Brooke fidgets, looking anywhere but at me for a moment as she takes that all in.  Finally she says, “You’re saying that you didn’t do all that because you didn’t want me?  Because it felt to me like you chose to do that because I was some kind a nuisance to you.  All you ever had to do was tell me you didn’t feel the same way and never would.”

“What? No! Hell no Brooke.  That wasn’t it at all.  Didn’t you hear anything I said to you that night before you stomped out of the room?  I did it because I wanted you too much.  You’re all I’ve thought about since the first night we met.  I wanted to protect you.  It was misguided and stupid, and I’ve paid the price for that tenfold.”

I can’t believe it, but she seems seriously stunned by what I’ve just said.

“You’ve really wanted me since that first night?”

Oh Christ, the flare in her eyes as she says that is my undoing.  Pulling her towards me, I growl, “God yes sweetheart.  More than you can ever know.  You were mine from the moment I saw you, even though I was terrified to admit it.  I only ever pushed you away because I know I’ll never be right for you.”

The look of wonder on her face touches my heart.

“Oh Damien, how have you never realized that you’re the only person who is right for me?  You’re the only man I want.  You’ve been such a damn fool.”

I could cry a thousand tears over her and it wouldn’t be enough to express how thankful I am that my angel is letting me back in. She’s everything to me, the only person who will ever be right for me either.

The time has come for action.  Angling closer to her, I pull her in to me.  Cupping the back of her head in my hand, I plunder her mouth with my tongue.

My girl tastes so good that it makes my heart flutter in my chest like a thousand little fireflies. She’s got the soul of an angel, but her mouth… its sin personified, and the effect on me is deeper than anything I’ve ever known.

Pulling back, I run my thumb across her lower lip as her lust filled eyes stare back in to mine.

“I want you Brooke.  I want to make you mine, to make us official. Will you make love with me?”

Smiling shyly at me, she nods.

That’s all the encouragement I need.  Standing from the couch, I pull her up and then swing her in to my arms, setting off for my bedroom.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Sliding Brooke down on to the bed, I lean over to click on my bedside lamp.  My eyes devour her as I remove my shoes, socks, pants and shirt before joining her on the bed.

I make quick work of removing her heels, skirt and top, growling when I see how enticing she looks in her matching silk bra and panties.  Be calm is what I tell myself, even as my cock twitches in my briefs.

Framing her exquisite face with my hands, I claim her mouth in a kiss.  I pour my heart and soul into it, wanting her to understand with both my words and my actions that I am hers.  Each stroke, lick, suck and slide of my tongue is given to her as a promise.

The butterflies in my stomach are back, my heart beating to a rhythm as old as time.  I am possessed by her, body and soul.  In this moment, I surrender myself completely, letting go of my fear and taking the leap of faith.  Anything for Brooke, for us, is worth it.

Running my hands down her sides, I grab her by the hips and lift her in to my straining cock, grinding against her gently.

Breaking away from the kiss, Brooke gasps.  “Damien!”

No one has ever gotten through to me the way Brooke does, and she does it just with the sound of my name on her lips.

I began my journey of her body slowly, taking everything in on my way.  I intended to leave not even an inch of her untouched.  Tonight, I am marking her as mine.

Licking her collar bone, I gently nip at her neck as I remove her bra.  I am rewarded with her soft moan of pleasure and the feeling of her hands in my hair as she holds my head.  God she’s fucking sexy.

This first time is one hundred percent for her, and I mean to make her so hot that she will be out of her mind with pleasure by the time I have to break her hymen.  My goal is to have her feel as little pain as possible.

I kiss and lick her shoulders, inner elbows, wrists and fingers, loving the little gasps, pleas and words of encouragement that fall from her lips.  Her nipples cry out for attention, and I turn my focus to the beautiful pink tips.

I swirl my tongue over each of her pebbled nipples over and over, sucking first one and then the other in to my mouth as my hands massage her breasts.  I am rewarded by a loud moan as Brooke holds my head tighter and starts chanting, “Damien, Damien, god yes” over and over as she dissolves under me in her first orgasm of the night.

As she comes down from the high of that orgasm, I continue my journey down her body.  I lick and suck her belly button, her inner and outer thighs, the front and backs of her knees and her ankles before I start licking and rubbing her feet. I feel her sighs and moans of pleasure in every cell of my body.

Running my tongue between her toes, I suck each one in to my mouth as Brooke writhes on the bed in ecstasy.  The scent of her arousal fogs my brain, the view of the damp spot that is spreading on her panties almost more than I can stand.

Laying her feet down on the bed, I spread her legs apart and pull her panties down one slow inch at a time.

Brooke’s head thrashes back and forth under the bed as she starts to beg, “Damien! I need… I need. You! I need you.”

“I need you too baby.  So much that it scares the fuck out of me.”

Once I’ve got her panties off, I waste no time in lowering my head to her glistening sex. I can feel the heat radiating off of her in waves.  I start by working her gently with my fingers, sliding around easily in her slick heat.  She’s so primed that it takes almost nothing to set her off, and when I gently pinch her clit, she cums again.

Impossibly, my pulse accelerates more as I see more arousal drip out of her passage.  Gently, so gently, I spread her lips with my fingers and start tonguing her liquid heat.

“Oh yes Damien! That’s so good.”

I hum and nod my head in agreement as I continue my gentle exploration of her.  Spreading her lips wider, I set to flicking the hood of her clit gently but quickly, groaning when she cums on my tongue, shouting my name as she fists her hands in my hair.

My cock screams for me to take her, but I want to make her cum one more time before I take her virginity.

Picking up the pace of my tongue, I make quicker and quicker passes around her clit while I slide two fingers in to her tight heat.

The sound of her soaking sex clutching around my fingers is like a sirens song to my dick.  I can’t wait to get inside of her, to feel this heat with my cock.

I speed up my penetration of her with my fingers, driving her toward the peak.  “I’m going to cum,” she shrieks, and just like that, she slides in to another orgasm.

Standing from the bed, I take off my black briefs.  The sound of her little gasp causes the tip of my cock to weep pre cum.

Straddling her on the bed, I claim her mouth with mine again.  Sliding a hand down between us, I take the tip of my cock and start sliding it up and down, from her clit to her opening over and over again.

“I’m about to make you mine Brooke. Mine.  Are you ready?”

Sliding her hands down to my ass, she grips me and arches against me.  “I want you to take me Damien, but when you do, you’re mine too.  Be very sure this time, because I won’t give you up after this.”

Growling low in my throat I look her dead in the eye and say, “You’ll never have to give me up.  I’m yours sweetheart.  I’ve been yours this whole time. I’ve been a fool, but even then, I was your fool honey.”

With that, I slide my cock in to her dripping wet channel.  Even with all the work I’ve done, she’s still so tight, and I groan in ecstasy as her tiny cunt clamps down on my cock.  “Oh fuck Brooke.  Fuck.  Don’t do that baby, or I won’t last!”

Spreading her legs wider and pulling my ass in to her harder she yells, “Take me Damien.  Take me now!”

Sliding my hand down between us, I rub her clit.  “I’m going to take you Brooke. If someone ran through this room yelling fire, I wouldn’t care.  There is nothing on earth more important than being with you.”

There is no way to avoid the pain, but doing it quickly will help her.  Pulling back, I lock eyes with her, and she nods her understanding.  In perfect unison, with both say “now” as I thrust forward.

Her cry halts me immediately, even as my cock jerks and twitches inside of her.  There is nothing and no one else on earth at this moment.  There is only her, and I feel it in a way I can’t really describe. I’m utterly enchanted by her, but I’m not scared anymore.  This is a feeling of joy and unity that I never knew was even possible.

I cry out as she tilts her hips and I feel myself slowly slide in the rest of the way, bottoming out against her womb.  I hear the word ‘home’ in my head, and an epiphany hits me with the force of a truck.

Brooke is my home. She’s my shelter in the storm and everything that I ever secretly wanted but was too afraid to hope for.

“This is what I wanted every single hour of every single day since I met you Brooke.  I’ve never felt closer, more connected, to anyone in my life.  You’ve got me honey.  All of me.”

Her eyes are glazed over, her lips plump and I groan as she clenches and unclenches against my cock with little pulses. “Oh god Damien! I do.  I feel all of you.  I never knew… “

I try to keep the pace slow, but she’s having none of it.  “Harder.  Don’t be gentle.  Oh sweet lord Damien, don’t be gentle.”

All the platitudes I’ve ever heard about feeling whole inside of someone else turn out to be true.  Her heat scorches me, and I revel in it as the speed and intensity of my thrusts pick up.

The sucking and clenching of her cunt is making me wild, and I throw myself in to Brooke harder, deeper and faster.  Putting her knees over my arms, I start really pounding in to her.  The sounds of the two of us moaning, the quickness of our breath, and the slap-slap-slap of each hard thrust drives me wild.  It’s sensory overload in the best way.

She’s literally fucking perfect.  I am reborn inside of her, the old me falling away as Brooke’s heat baptizes me.

“Oh Damien, I’m so full of you.  So good, so good! I’m cumming!”

Pounding in to her harder, I groan as she lets out a scream, her tight cunt clenching all around me, pulling me with her.

I shout out, “Brooke” as my dick explodes inside of her scorching heat.  I thrust and thrust in agony and ecstasy, the feeling of cumming inside of her so intense, I feel a little crazy with it.

We collapse together in a sweaty heap, chests heaving from exertion.  Wrapping my arms around her, I roll so that I’m on my back and Brooke’s head is on my chest. I am not ready to pull out of her just yet, so I don’t.  I still need the connection.  I will always need a connection to her.

The minutes pass in silence as we both return to earth.  Nothing, and I mean nothing, that I’ve ever done before has even come close to the feelings I just had when Brooke and I finally came together. Damn me for fighting this for so long, because I’ve never felt happier.

Lifting Brooke up, I sever our connection with a groan as she clenches around me.  Laying her down next to me, I kiss her briefly before pulling back and smiling down at her.

“No more of that yet sweetheart. I’m going to go run a bath for us. While I do that, you go in to the guest bathroom and grab a robe.  Meet me in my bathroom in ten.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

After stretching, I headed to the guest bathroom with a Cheshire cat grin on my face.  I’ve heard dozens of horror stories about what it could feel like when I lost my virginity, but what just happened with Damien was magical.  He had me so turned by the time he was ready to take me that I barely even noticed the pain.

Instead, what I felt was full.  Full of love, full of him, full of certainty that I was exactly where I was meant to be.  Clenching my sex and giving a little shiver, I think about how Damien just made me feel.  Talk about a life changing experience!  I’ve never felt anything as good as what it felt like to have him inside of me, closer to me than anyone ever has been or ever will be.  No matter what, I’m not giving up now.  It would take dynamite to get me away from him.

After using the guest bath and putting on one of the robes from the back of the door, I quickly make my way into Damien’s bathroom.  Stepping through the door, I let out a little giggle of wonder.  He’s lit a few pillar candles and the enormous tub is almost overflowing with bubbles.

Closing the door behind me, he pulls my robe off and walks with me to the tub.  He climbs in first and then holds his hand out for me.  I stepped into the delicious water with a groan of appreciation as he gently pulls me down so that I my back can rest against his chest.

The bubbles smell like him, and I realize that he used his body wash to make me a bubble bath.  Reaching my arm up behind me, I pull his head down to kiss him.  “I wish this is what everyone felt like when they lost their virginity.  You’ve made this a memory I will treasure forever. Thank you so much for being you.”

As he begins rubbing my shoulders, Damien leans forward and kisses my neck.  Just that little movement sets me off, and my heartbeat accelerates.  Now that I know what he feels like inside of me, I’m going to want him all of the time.

“Oh sweetheart, it’s me that owes you thanks. Thank you for having faith, for seeing something in me that I couldn’t see myself.  Most of all, thank you for being you.  I love you Brooke.”

Turning over, I wrap my arms around him and straddle his hips before kissing him.  Pulling back, I smile as I run my fingers gently over his face.  Putting my hands on either side of his head, I hold him steady as I look him in the eyes.  “I love you too Damien.  I always have.”

His solid length bobbing against me drives me wild, and with a groan I raise up over him, grabbing him in my hand to guide him into me as I slowly sink down onto his cock.

Gently, so gently, we make love in the water, staring into each other’s eyes.  I hold my hand over his heart as he holds his over mine, our eyes making promises to each other in time with our heartbeats.

I can’t get over how full I am when he’s inside of me.  I can’t tell anymore where I end and he begins, and I love it.  Leaning in to him, I suck his tongue in to my mouth, branding him as mine as I start riding him faster.

Pulling back he yells, “Oh fuck yeah sweetheart.  Ride my cock!”

It’s so hot to hear and watch him lose control, and I clench and unclench my inner muscles as I get closer and closer to the edge.  “I love riding your cock Damien! I love it, I love it and I love you!”

The look on his face is pure unadulterated joy, and I lose a little of my mind when he grabs my hips and starts fucking up into me with powerful thrusts.  “Harder honey, fuck me harder.  That’s right.  Take everything you want Brooke.  It’s all yours.  Every inch of me, every drop of cum, it’s all for you.  You’re mine baby.  All. (thrust) Fucking.(thrust)  Mine (slam).”

Throwing my head back, I erupt with a scream.  The feeling goes on and on as he pounds me like crazy, stretching me and making me lose my mind.

With a shattered yell, he loses himself and starts cumming too.  Spurt after spurt of his hot cum blasts inside of me, and I shiver and shake with the sensation.  It’s the best feeling in the world, my man cumming inside of me, filling me up with his release.

Falling forward, I rest my cheek on his shoulder while he rubs my back.  I’m the most content and at ease that I’ve ever been in my life, and now I fully understand what my mother meant when she told Sabrina and I that being with someone you loved left you “free to fly.”

I trust Damien to do whatever he wants to my body because it’s so clear that his only intent is to make me feel good.  Nothing between us feels weird or forced.  It’s all just right.  I give silent thanks to my mom and my sister for encouraging me to wait.  I’d never want someone else inside of me but Damien and now that he’s here, it’s like I can’t get enough.   The feeling of connection is so intense that it’s hard to fully wrap my mind around it.

Pushing his hair back, I lean forward to give him a kiss.  “I absolutely loved this, but I am so turning in to a prune. How about we get out, shower and then go eat?  I’m suddenly ravenous.”

Giving me a smile, Damien stands and then helps me to my feet.  We’re in and out of the shower quickly, and I wind up struggling to remember that I’m hungry as Damien starts drying me off and then sets to brushing my hair.  It’s not surprising that I’m so turned on, not really, since I’ve been desperate to touch him since the night that we met.  Now that I’ve got him, I can’t get enough.

Fortunately for my stomach, Damien took charge.  After sliding in to a clean pair of briefs, he wrapped the robe I’d brought in from the guest bath around me and then held my hand as he walked us into the kitchen.

After spending a few minutes poking around and trying to decide what to eat, we chose to make pancakes and bacon.  Damien took charge of the bacon while I whipped up the pancakes.  It’s a blast cooking with him, the two of us continuing to touch and kiss the entire time.

Taking seats next to each other at the kitchen island, we spent a few minutes eating. We worked well together cleaning up once we’re finished, and before long we’re back in his bedroom. It’s after three in the morning and we’re both shit kicked.

Curling up on the bed, we lay facing each other with clasped hands. It’s surreal, being in this bed with him.  Finally having the ability to open myself up to him as well as the ability to touch him whenever and wherever I want fills me with great joy.  I’d love to stay awake and continue this moment forever, but before I know it, I’m drifting off.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

The weeks of not sleeping and emotional exhaustion had worn both of us out so much that we slept for eons.  When I woke up next to my amazing girl this morning, seeing her filled me with such happiness that it was staggering. Sometime during the night Brooke had gotten rid of her robe, which meant that her warm naked body was cuddled up against me.  My instinct was to wake her up to make love, but my conscience reminded me that it was due to my actions that she was so exhausted.  In the end, I let her sleep.  I’m definitely taking a rain check on the lovemaking though.

The feeling of rightness having her with me is mind blowing for me.  After a lifetime of running away, I’m insanely attached.  Anchored and loving it.  She belongs here, and I belong with her. To describe my mood as ecstatic is a huge understatement.  Had I known how content I’d feel having her with me like this, I would never have fought it. In retrospect all the bullshit I flung at her, and fed myself, was obviously ridiculous.  We were meant to be.

What I now know with certainty is that I’ve got no intention of letting her go.  The last few weeks were absolute torture, and I think we both need some rest and relaxation.  To that end, I’ve decided that we need to get away.  We’ve been through hell and back, and now I just want to be with her around the clock.  Hell, I don’t just want that.  I need it.  Body, mind and soul, I need to be filled with Brooke in order to heal.

Gently kissing her neck, I ease myself from the bed, headed for the bathroom.  After spending a few minutes doing my morning ritual, I meandered out to the living room to pick up the phone and call my brother.  Wasting no time, I got right to the point.

“I need the next week off.  Brooke’s here and we’re finally on the same page.  I want to take her away and spend some time together, just the two of us.  We’re both wrung the fuck out from how terrible these last few weeks were.  I’m going to spend the next week spoiling the shit out of my girl.”

Letting out a loud cheer, Dante finishes with a laugh.  “Your girl, huh? That’s awesome news.  Brooke’s fucking amazing, and she’s getting a great man in you.  I’m proud of you bro.  You lucked the fuck out finding someone like her. I’m so glad that you both came to your senses that I don’t give a shit how long you’re gone, as long as you’re both back in time for the wedding.   I’ll have Sabrina take over for you until you get back.  Annnnd speaking of my fiancée, she’s right here and she’s about to kill me if I don’t let her get on the phone with you.  Get ready for the Spanish inquisition.”

I could only laugh.  I knew the second I picked up the phone to call my brother that Sabrina would be nearby.  Those two are so close that I’m not sure there’s room to get a piece of paper between them.  Knowing that, I was fully prepared for Sabrina to give me the third degree.  She isn’t just Brooke’s sister or my brother’s fiancée, she’s one of my best friends and I’m excited about sharing this with her.

Giggling, Sabrina got on the line.  “Not quite the Spanish inquisition, I promise.  Plus, I’ll be getting all the real details from my sister later.  Where is she right now?”

“She’s still sleeping. I figured I’d call you two, make arrangements for us to go away and then wake her up.”

“Oohhh.  Still sleeping, eh?  I guess I don’t have to ask why!   But I do want to know which one of you came to your senses first.  Spill!”

I couldn’t help but to be grateful that Rina couldn’t see my face right then, because I definitely had a cat that got the cream smile on my face.

“Spence, Dominique and Tally came over last night for a mini intervention.  While they were here, I got a text from Delilah letting me know that she was out with Brooke.  I finally balled up and went and got her.  We had an amazing talk and now… we are most definitely together.  Between you and me, it won’t be long before I’m asking you and Dante for what he’s got in the safe.  You keep that under your hat though!  I want her to be surprised.”

Letting out a choked gasp, Sabrina said, “Jesus!  I’m surprised.  You make your brother look like he went at a turtles pace, and we all know that once he was on board, he was on board.  But when you know, you know.  My sister’s in love with you, and the fact that she’s sleeping in your bed right now says that more clearly than any words ever could. She chose to remain a virgin until she found the one, and clearly that’s you.  I’m so glad, and I know I’ll never have to worry about my sister being happy, because you’ll move heaven and earth for her, just like your brother does for me.  You Hart men are a real catch, and once you’re ready, you go for it.  I’m over the moon that you two are together.  When she wakes up, tell her to call me ASAP.  Love you!”

“Love you too Rina.  Thanks for being so awesome.  I’ll have her call you.”

Hanging up the phone, I grabbed my laptop and spent the next forty-five minutes making plans and getting things in order for our getaway.  Once I got back into my bedroom, I stood watching Brooke sleep for a minute.  Curled around my pillow, the look on her face is one of utter contentment, and I can’t help but smile.  I bet I had that same look on my face while I was sleeping too.  It’s amazing what love can make you feel like.

Sliding under the covers, I spent a few minutes gently easing her closer until I got her into my arms.  Setting my alarm clock for three o’clock, I curled up around her and let myself drop back off into sleep.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Instead of waking up to the alarm, I came to with my cock buried in Brooke’s mouth, her head bobbing up and down as her tongue swirled around my shaft.  My heartbeat went from calm to crazy in under a minute as the heat of her mouth and the wet sounds of her on my cock made me twitch.  Pushing her hair aside so that I had a better view of what she was doing, I watched her like a hawk as she used her two fists and her mouth to blow my mind. Her oral skills are fucking amazing, a mix of messy, hot and wet.  Staring adoringly into her eyes I begged her to keep sucking my cock.  “Oh baby, you suck me so fucking good! Don’t stop honey.  It’s all yours.”

No one has ever made me so crazy with just a blow job.  Popping off for a moment, she smiled at me, and knowing little smile.  “You like having your cock in my mouth don’t you? I woke up and just had to suck you Damien.  Had to.  Mm.  And you don’t disappoint. Your cock tastes delicious.  Are you going to cum?  Do you feel ready to blow?  I can feel you balls getting tighter and your prick is getting more and more swollen.  Fuck my mouth baby.  Fuck it however you want to.”

With that, she sucked me back in to the wet heat of her mouth and proceeded to blow me like I’ve never been blown before.  I fist my hands into her hair as she starts sucking me harder and faster.  “Fuck Brooke!  I’m going to cum.  If you don’t want it in your mouth…”

Shaking her head, she starts to hum, sucking with more force, her tongue French kissing the tip over and over as her right hand massages my balls.  My orgasm slammed into me like a fucking freight train.   I came inside her mouth, shouting her name while she swallowed every drop.

Licking me clean, she gently started making her way up my torso.  Her lips, tongue and hands worked together to make me crazy all over again, leaving a trail of licks and kisses along the way.  By the time she got to my face, I was desperate for her.  Our lips fused together as we explored each other’s mouths thoroughly.  In the past I got very little from kissing.  With Brooke, it blows me away how meaningful it actually is.

In one quick move, I’ve flipped us over so that she’s lying underneath me.  For a moment I pulled back to stare down at her lush little body.  Fucking gorgeous.  With a growl, my mouth latched on to one of her nipples as I start sucking and licking first one, then the other.  Her moans and little cries have a direct line to my cock, and I’m like forged steel within seconds. I love how sensitive her nipples are, but my plan to stay in control flies out the window when she gives a keening cry as she cums underneath me.

Lifting her legs up, I hold her ankles as I push her legs open wide and I stare down at her glistening cunt.  Smiling at her, I give thanks that she’s so wet and ready for me as I place the tip of my cock at the opening to her steaming cleft and start pushing in.  Every part of her cunt grips me as I slide inside inch by inch, exhaling with a loud cry when I bottom out against her cervix.

Wiggling her hips underneath me, Brooke grabs my ass as she starts chanting, “Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me” in time with my thrusts.  There aren’t even words to describe how turned on I am by her voicing her needs, and with each thrust I go in with a bit more force.  Pushing her legs together, I instruct her to bend them and then I push them tight against her chest, holding her knees together as I pound the fuck out of her.

Her cries get louder and louder the harder I fuck her, and I know she’s reaching the end of her rope.  “Look at me sweetheart.”

Eyes wide but glazed with desire, she locks her gaze on to mine.

“Tell me you love this honey.  Tell me how good it feels for you.  Your cunt tells me you love my cock with every gush of cream you let out, but I need your mouth to say it too. Can you do that?”

Rolling her head back and forth on the pillow, she screams as I continue my assault inside of her.  “Oh god… Damien! I DO! I love your cock inside of me.  Make me cum, make me cum!”

Pushing her knees closer to her chest, I change our position just enough to raise her ass off the bed for deeper penetration before I instruct her.   “When you feel yourself get close, push out.”

I’m really giving it to her now, working my prick in and out of her at a furious pace as she begs me to make her cum.  When I feel her cunt start to swell and seize up around me I yell, “Push out!”

I feel the moment that she does it, and I soak in her screams as she reaches her first purely vaginal orgasm.  The sensation is so good that it takes me with her, and I pull her hard on to my dick as I spurt as deep inside of her as I can go.  There will never be anything better than cumming inside of my girl, her tight heat clenching around me as she milks me of every fucking drop.

Spreading her legs again, I slid my fingers down to her clit as I continued fucking in and out of her, stroking her just right to help her cum again.  With a scream that could wake the dead, she clenches and unclenches against my gradually softening cock as she cums again.

Easing out of her, I flopped on to my back while I tried to catch my breath.  Goddamn, making love with Brooke is wild and intense.  I never knew I had that much emotion in me.  With her, I’ve got so much that its mind boggling.

Rolling over, I prop up on my arm and stare down at her. I’m so taken by how beautiful she looks that I lose my train of thought.  Her face is flushed, her body covered in a fine sheen of sweat.  She looks well-loved and replete, and I puff up like a peacock full of pride.  I did this to her, and I plan to do it over and over again for the rest of my life.

Trailing my fingers gently across her stomach to get her attention, I smile when she quietly moans before turning to look at me.  “Oh baby, if you keep doing that, we’re never leaving this bed! I don’t think you realize it yet, but you’ve created a monster Damien.”

I was going to try to give her a rest, but her words make my dick swell so fast that it’s painful.  I slowly glide my fingers down her stomach and into her still soaked pussy.  I groan when I feel the evidence of both of our orgasms drench both of my fingers.  It’s not something I’ve ever wanted to do before, but now I need to taste it.  Pulling my fingers out, I suck both of them into my mouth while I stare into her eyes.  “Mm sweetheart.  We taste so good together.”

Sliding my fingers back in to her cunt, I shudder when she clenches her muscles around my fingers.  After my fingers are soaked again, I hold them up to her mouth so that she can taste too.  Her eyes widen and pool with lust as she licks our cum from my fingers.  “Damien! Holy shit!  It’s so dirty… but I’m so wet right now.  Fuck me with your tongue!”

With a groan, I slide down the bed and bury my face in her pussy, devouring every bit of our love juices as I fuck her with my tongue and fingers.  The bedroom is filled with the sounds of my growls and moans, her little screams and the squelching of her wet cunt as it rains her cream onto my tongue.

Spreading her wide with three fingers, I cup them together and start fucking her hot sheath faster and harder as my tongue continues to flick over her clit.  Finding her g-spot, I start rubbing, the air filled with the sounds of wet cunt being fucked hard.

Legs spread wide, her pussy thrusts into my face again and again.  My hand is like lightning in her cunt now, and I almost cum when she screams as she cums, “DAMIEN! DAMIEN!”

Now isn’t the time to be gentle, so I quickly sit up and flip her over, impaling her on my cock with a few hard thrusts.  I hammer in and out at lightning speed, knowing that neither of us will last long.  “Fuck sweetheart.  Your cunt is on fire.  I’m going to flood that little pussy with cum baby, and then I’m going to lick it all out of you again.”

Her screams get louder as my dick repeatedly assaults her cervix, and I watch as she holds the sheets underneath her in a death grip.  The fast and hot contractions in her pussy start up again and knowing she’s about to cum, I fuck harder.  The headboard is slamming into the wall so hard that I’m surprised it hasn’t broken, but I couldn’t give less of a fuck.  Right now, all I want is to cum in my girls scorching heat.

With a loud yell she cums again, her cunt and womb contracting around me like a vice.  Gripping her hips between my hands, I fuck her as hard as I can as my cock shoots off blast after blast of cum inside of my love.

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

I had thought from the first night that I met him that sex with Damien would be amazing.  I was wrong.  It goes so far beyond amazing that I really don’t think there is a word that can fully describe it.  He completely owns my body with a mastery that blows me away. I hope that he understands that I’m completely insatiable where he’s concerned, because I plan to jump him at every available opportunity from now on.  I’m addicted to his smell, his taste, his mouth, his tongue, his fingers and his cock… everything about him, really. Snuggling against his chest, I breathe in the after-sex smell that is uniquely his.

“So, I called my brother this morning and took the next week off and then I booked us into a house in Laguna Beach.  I thought… well, I hope that it’s okay with you… but I thought after how awful these last few weeks have been that this would be the perfect time for us to relax.  The other thing is… I’m not ready to be separated from you at all yet, even for the time it would take to go to work.”

I melt at his words, absolutely turning to mush inside my heart and soul.  Sitting up, I begin kissing around his face.  “I’m more than okay with it silly!  I love it.  I feel the same way about not being ready to separate.  I want to be with you all the time too, baby.  We’re in this together.  I’ve never felt that way about anyone before, and it’s just another reason that I love you.”

Grabbing my face in his hands, he stared at me for a moment with a smile of wonder.  “Together.  I love that sweetheart, and I love that this is all new to you.  You have no idea how much everything you say means to me.  I’ve never loved or cared about anyone before you know.  Only you baby, only ever you.”

Getting up, he scooped me into his arms and then carried me into the bathroom.  We wound up making love all over again in the shower, two lovers needing the connection of being one. Turns out, he’s as insatiable for me as I am for him.

By the time we were finished it was well after seven.  Damien spent twenty minutes packing while I dried my hair, and then we headed off to my house so that I could pack too.  We were on our way to Laguna Beach just after nine, and I took the time in the car to finally call my sister.  I knew Damien had spoken with her earlier, but I’d never had enough down time to call her myself.

She picked upon the fourth ring, and I could tell she was out of breath.  “Hey Rina! It’s me.  I guess I’m calling at a bad time, huh?”

I giggled when she tried to cover the mouthpiece and I could hear her telling Dante to hold on.  Clearly I was interrupting them in the act, and it made me laugh.  Those two go at it like rabbits, anywhere, anytime.  My sister has told me that she has an unquenchable need for Dante, but until Damien, I really didn’t get what that actually meant.  Now I know first-hand what it feels like to want someone around the clock.

Even with her hand still over the mouthpiece, I clearly heard her moan at whatever he was doing to her.  “Oh fuck Dante!  Stop or I’m going to cum!”  After some rustling and more gasps, she got back on the phone.

“Sis, I’m so sorry. Can I call you back in… I don’t know, like an hour or two?”

I laughed at that.  I guess Damien takes after his older brother in the lovemaking as a marathon sport department.  “How about we talk tomorrow?  I guarantee that in two hours, I won’t be able to talk either.”

As I finished talking, I heard the sound of two bodies smacking together, clear as a bell.  “Unh, unh, unh!!  YES!  YES! YES! Oh god YES!!!  Jesus baby don’t stop…  I don’t fucking care who hears me!  Unh!  Oh god, oh god…..Fuck!  Brooke, I’ll call you tomorrow!”

With that, I heard the very clear sound of the phone being thrown away from her as Dante started yelling her name.  Wow.  Clearly my sister and Dante were really going at it. Pressing the end call button, I slid the phone into the cup holder. Damien raised an eyebrow at me in silent query.  Smiling, I explained.  “Those two maniacs were just fucking like animals while I was on the phone!  They couldn’t even stop long enough for her to tell me she’d talk to me later.”

Damien had the good sense to laugh.  “Yeah… I’ve heard them before.  One night after I’d left work, I realized I had left my meeting notes for the following morning behind.  I went back to get them, and when I saw Dante’s car in the parking garage, I went to his office first.  To say that they were having a good time is an understatement.  I’ll talk to my brother though.  He shouldn’t have kept doing that with you on the phone.”

Slapping his arm, I chuckled.  “It’s fine Damien.  My sister and I are closer than close.  It’s not like I’d want to listen all the time, but right then it really made me happy for her.  Besides, I know allllllll about what they do in the bedroom.  Girls talk baby, but don’t worry, Dante knows that she’s told me every little detail.  Pretty soon, she’ll be hearing all about our sex life too, unless it would bother you.”

Letting out a hoarse growl, Damien chuckled.  “Damn you.  Now I’m thinking about all the things you could tell her and I’m hard as fuck.  No, I don’t care what you tell her.  Dante and I talk too.  Not in as much detail, and I do tell him not to go all TMI on me, but I do know things about their sex life.  Enough to know that we’re like how Dante and Rina are, and the way we want each other isn’t going to change.  It’s just going to get more intense.”

My heart is pounding like I’m in a race by the time he finishes his sentence.  “Jesus Damien!  It can get more intense?  I’m pretty sure that if it was more than what it already is, I’d explode and die.”

“Oh sweetheart, you’re killing me. Stop talking or I’m going to pull the car over and fuck you in the back seat, right on the side of the road, like a fucking maniac. You don’t know what you do to me.  I can’t be in you enough. We should be there in twenty minutes.”

Fortunately he’s right about the amount of time that it’s going to take for us to get there and my face lights up in a huge smile when I get a look at the house he’s rented.  It’s beautiful and right on the beach.  We’re going to have such a great week, alone… together.

Damien wasn’t joking about being hard as a rock.  Before we’ve even taken the full tour of the house, he’s tossing me on the bed where he proceeds to tear our clothes off before joining himself to me with a hoarse cry.  The rest of the night is spent in various positions on that very bed, making love with my beautiful man.

Our week away all but flew by, and now we’re down to the last day.  The house Damien rented has provided an amazing vacation.  We’re on the beach and we’ve got a pool, and we both have loved every second of our time here… even though most of it was spent in the bedroom.  We’ve enjoyed the house so much so that he’s put a call into the realtor who rented it to us to inquire about buying it, even though it isn’t for sale.

“Being here, with you… it’s been magical.  If they’re open to selling it, I’m buying it for us.  It’s close enough to home that we can come all the time, but far enough away that it will really be a break.  And of course the rest of our family can use it too, so that’s a perk.  I can picture some really great Sunday dinners here, all of us gathered around the outdoor fire.”

Is it any wonder I love him so?  How he never realized that he’s got the soul of a true romantic, I’ll never know.  Not that I’m looking a gift horse in the mouth.  In many ways, it feels to me like each of us saved ourselves for the other.  We’ve talked about so many things this week, and I’ve been blown away by how much Damien has shared about what happened to him as a child.  I was raised not to hate, but for the first time, I do. I’m glad that both of his parents are dead.  Neither one of them had even one redeeming quality.  Everything that Damien, Dante, Delilah and Dominique have become has nothing to do with the people that created them. I can only give thanks that they all turned out to be so amazing in spite of the odds against them.

Today is our last day here, and for only the third time this week, we’ve finally made our way from the bedroom during daylight hours to swim in the pool and soak up the sun.  After spending about an hour swimming and splashing around, we wound up lying side by side on the giant padded lounger.

Clearly both of us were beyond content, and I enjoyed the sound of the waves in the background as we relaxed on the lounger.  Turning onto his side and smiling at me, Damien began stroking my hair.

“When I was younger, I thought love was either a cruel lie or a terrible joke.  I held onto that belief for years.  You’ve changed my whole life Brooke.  Everything I thought I was, everything I believed I couldn’t have… it’s all gone.  You’ve turned me into a cheesy romantic, and I love you for it.”

I wonder if he can actually see my heart in my eyes when I smile at him.  “You’re hardly cheesy baby, but you are romantic.  You won’t be hearing any complaints from me.  You’re exactly what I want, and I love you so much that it overwhelms me.”

Taking my hand into his, he kisses me palm before laying it over his heart.  “That makes me so happy sweetheart.  I… I’m a little nervous about this next part.  I don’t think I can just drop you off at your house tomorrow.  I don’t want to be away from you ever again.  Do you think…  could you… would you like to move in with me?”

I can’t believe he’s nervous! My love is such a fool sometimes.  “Oh baby, of course I want to!  I’ve just been waiting for you to ask.  I didn’t want to assume.”

His smile is about a mile wide, and I’ve got no doubt that he’s ecstatic.  “With me, you can always assume that I want you right there.  I love you Brooke, and we’re going all the way.  I’m never letting you go.  I hope you know that.”

Now it’s my turn to smile like a fool.  “I do know it, but it’s still amazing to hear you say it. Let’s just hope that you don’t get sick of me now that we’re going to be living and working together…”

I giggled as he jumped up and gave a cheer before grabbing me and running me into the bedroom.  “Fuck baby! I was afraid to ask you about that, too.  You’re really going to come to work with the rest of us?”

Nodding my head, I smiled.  “Of course I am.  I texted Dante earlier in the week and let him know I’ll be at work on Monday morning.”

Grinning like a fool, he gives his head a shake. “For the record, I’m not going to get sick of you.  You’ve just made my fucking year! But when we get home, I’ve really got to talk to my brother about keeping secrets.  He knew this was driving me bananas and he never said a word!”

“I told him not to.  I was considering surprising you Monday morning by showing up.”

His groan tells me everything I need to know.  “Thank fuck you told me now.  The things I’m about to do to you now that you’ve let the cat out of the bag are definitely not work appropriate, and I wouldn’t have taken the time to stop and lock the office door before doing this...”

He was right.  The next few hours passed in a haze of amazing sex that was most definitely NOT work appropriate.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

My lip quivers, my tears barely held back as my sister steps into her wedding dress and turns to face the mirror so that I can zip her up.  She looks like an angel, so beautiful that it almost hurts to look at her.  I’ve never seen a more radiant bride, and it warms my heart to know that she’s found the love of a lifetime.

There were plenty of tears this afternoon as we got ready for the wedding. The absence of our parents has almost never been more painful than it is now, a day that they should have lived to enjoy.  Putting my arm around Rina’s waist, I put my head on her shoulder and stare at her in the mirror.  “I just know that mom and daddy are with us right now.  If you close your eyes, you can almost hear mommy singing the song she always sang to us when she was happy.  “Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me, they long to be, close to you…”

We rocked back in forth like that for a few minutes, the two of us quietly singing along to the memory of our mother’s voice. As we finish the last verse, we smile at each other in the mirror.  Swallowing hard, my sister smiles at me.  “Thank you Brooke.  That was… perfect.  I really feel them both right now.”

The next half hour is spent putting the finishing touches on my sister.  Dominique, Delilah and Tally have come in to finish dressing as well, and we all laugh and joke about how wild my sister’s honeymoon is bound to be.

I’m so glad that these are the people in our lives.  I know that Dominique was worried that I wouldn’t be able to warm up to Tally after the part she had played in Damien’s failed plan, but that hasn’t happened at all.  I adore her, we all do.  She fits in, and I love having another addition to the family.  She and Dominique are so happy together that it fills me with joy.  Dominique and Tally are also helping to keep something I hold close to my heart in the family.  Now that Sabrina is marrying Dante and I’m living with Damien, it left us with a decision about what to do with our parent’s house. My sister and I both love this house, and the idea of selling it was something we just couldn’t commit to.  It was Dante that suggested that we let Dominique and Tally move in, and their date of move in is quickly approaching.  It’s a great feeling, knowing that this house that holds such great memories for us both will be filled with love and laughter for years to come.

Delilah, on the other hand, is not filling me with joy.  With her, I’m filled with concern.  I had thought that she was in a happy place, but in the last week she’s just looked awful.  Even now, with a face full of make-up and a gorgeous dress on, I can see that she’s stressing about something.  I just know it has something to do with Spencer, but until she’s ready to talk, I can’t force it out of her.

A knock on the door followed by the arrival of Aunt Sandra is our cue to head out to the living room for the photographer.  Sabrina had asked all of us girls to be in her wedding party, while Dante had asked Damien, Spencer and Sandra to be in his.  It’s a funny arrangement, because it means that no chairs are required since it’s a “family only” wedding, but that’s the way they both want it.  I’m doing double duty today, giving my sister away and acting as her maid of honor.

They’ve chosen to get married on the beach in Malibu at Sunset.  As Sabrina and I make our way to the start of the aisle, we both let out little gasps at the same moment.  Right at the end of the aisle where our parents would have been seated, there are two empty chairs.  Once has a bouquet of pink roses resting on it, the other a matching pink boutonnière.  I couldn’t be more touched that Dante figured out another way to include my parents, and I know my sister is feeling the same way. With a tug at my arm, she all but runs me up the aisle before jumping into his arms.

These two!  So tactile and loving, they can’t help themselves from constantly showing each other how in love they are.  If I wasn’t so in love myself, I’d be jealous.  As it is, I can only smile.  We’ve all been through hell and back in one way or another, and it’s a blessing that we’ve found love.

The rest of the ceremony passes by in what seems like a moment.  The pastor asks us all to vow to love and support Sabrina and Dante as a couple, and we each do so with a smile.  This is why they wanted a small wedding, so that only the people that really mattered in their lives were there, and I know that it’s touched each of us.

The reception is small and beautiful, held in a gorgeously decorated estate near the site of the wedding.  It’s a lot like a Sunday family dinner which makes it perfect.  The only difference is that we’re all dressed to the nines.  I watch with tears in my eyes as my sister and Dante dance their first dance as a married couple to U2’s “All I Want Is You.”  They couldn’t be more in love if they tried.

A few hours later, Damien pulled me in to his arms again for a turn around the dance floor to Jason Mraz’s “I Won’t Give Up”.  I smiled like the woman in love that I am as we twirled under the twinkling lights.  I’m so in love with my beautiful man that it takes my breath away.  Living with him has surpassed all of my expectations.  We were so clearly meant to be together, and I live that every day.  This is love.

Cradling my face in his hands, he captures my lips in a kiss. As I melt into him, I imagine that the wedding has made him feel even more loving than usual.  I’m so lost in his kiss that I don’t immediately notice that the music has been turned down.  It lingers on the edge of my mind, but I don’t connect to it because I can barely think when we’re touching.  It’s not until he pulls back a bit that I notice two things.  The music is super low, and our family has formed a circle around us. My heart starts beating triple time as he takes to one knee and pulls a box of his pocket.

“Brooke Marie Tyler, I love you so much that sometimes I almost can’t believe you’re real.  You’re the love of my life, and I want to spend every single day of my life loving you and building a family with you.  Sweetheart, will you make me the happiest man on the planet earth and agree to become my wife?

I dropped to my knees in front of him as I grabbed him in a hug and kissed him.  “Yes! Yes!”  The sound of our family clapping was equivalent to watching fireworks go off, pure joy.  Our kiss comes to an end when he pulls back and opens the ring box.  Like my sisters, it’s a huge diamond with two rubies from my mother’s engagement ring on either side.  Where my sister’s diamond is oval, mine is square cut, the rubies have been shaved down to match and there are diamonds all over the band as well. Holding it up, he points to the inscription on the inside of the band.  “I’m yours, forever.”

Through my tears, I smile and nod.  “I’m yours too baby, forever and always.”  I smile at him as he slides the ring onto my finger.  It’s a perfect fit as it takes it finds its home on my finger, for a lifetime.

The minutes after that pass in a blur of congratulations and hugs.  Engulfing me in a hug, my sister rocks me back and forth.  “I so got you back for keeping it a secret when Dante asked you for my hand!  Damien told me the morning after your first night together that he was going to ask.  The man’s crazy for you.  He had the jeweler work overtime to make this in time for tonight.”

I can only laugh.  It’s true!  She totally did get me back, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.  This is a day that we will all remember forever as one of joy.

Our chit chat is interrupted with the arrival of my sister’s husband (!) and my fiancée (!!). They pull each of us onto the dance floor for one last dance at the night starts winding down.

Damien and I sway in time as we stare into each other’s eyes, the love we have for one another so clear to see, it’s amazing.  Kissing me on the nose, he smiles.  “You know I’m not going to be able to wait to make the switch from fiancée to husband, right?”

With a nod and a laugh, I smile.  “Oh, don’t you worry.  I’m locking you in for life Mr. Hart.  I have no desire to wait to make you all mine in the eyes of the law.  How about next month, we make this official?”

“I was thinking more like next week….”

Shaking my head, I laugh.  “No baby.  I want to look beautiful for you, and I’m going to need a dress.  You can wait four or five weeks.  I move quickly, but even I can’t do it in less time!”

Smiling at me, he nods.  “Sounds like a plan.  How would you feel about getting married at our Laguna Beach house?”

It takes me a second to process what he’s said, and when I do, I let out a yelp.  “Oh my god, you bought it!  Is it really ours?”

Pulling me in closer to him, he gives me another wicked kiss.  “It’s all ours. In fact… we’re going to drive up after this is over so that we can christen it…”

Before I knew it, the night was over.  We all hugged and said goodbye to Rina and Dante as they headed off on their two week Hawaiian honeymoon.

After they left, I made my way into the bathroom.  Opening the door, I was surprised to see Delilah sitting on a bench in the outer area with her head resting on her knees.  “Delilah! What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

When she raised her eyes to mine, my heart dropped.  Something really is wrong with her.  Dropping onto my knees in front of her, I grab her hands in mine.  “Delilah, I know something is wrong.  You’re scaring the shit out of me. Tell me!”

She’s just opening her mouth to answer when the door opens and Dominique walks in.  Seeing me on the floor in front of her sister, she runs over with a concerned cry.  “What’s happening here?  What’s wrong?”

I shrug my shoulders at her to let her know I have NO clue what’s wrong.

Taking a deep breath, Delilah lifts her head and looks first at Dominique, then me.  With a groan, she drops her face into her hands.  “I’m pregnant.”

In unison we both gasp.  “WHAT?”

Raising her eyes again, Delilah nods.  “Yep. I’m that fucking idiot girl who didn’t take her birth control right and got pregnant.  Even worse, I’m carrying the baby of someone who doesn’t want kids and who will hate me once he knows that I’m pregnant.  I had an appointment to have a… termination… on Monday, but I couldn’t do it.  I can’t and I won’t.”

Dominique and I stare at each other for a moment, a silent conversation passing between us.  We both know the answer, but the question needs to be asked anyway.  Finally, Dominique takes the reigns and blurts out, “It’s Spencer’s baby, isn’t it?”

With a sad nod, Delilah confirms what Dominique and I have both suspected for months.  “Yes, I’ve been sleeping with Spencer, and yes, it’s his baby.”

Life in our family is about to get a whole lot more complicated.

About the Author

Since I was a very young girl, I’ve always loved reading romance novels.  I find love stories to be captivating, and believe that when you surround yourself with love, you live your best life. This is my second book, and it was most definitely a labor of love!

If you liked this book, please consider leaving feedback on Amazon and Goodreads.  Reviews are a writer’s life blood, and it’s what pushes us forward.

To see who and what was on Ella's mind as she wrote "The Hart Family" series, check out her Pinterest.

www.pinterest.com/AuthorEllaFox

There is another chapter of The Hart Family story to tell.  Spencer and Delilah’s story, "Half a Hart" will be out in 2013.

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Visit Ella’s blog for details on future releases http://talesbyella.blogspot.com/

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