All She Wants For Christmas

By Jaci Burton

Big Star, Small-Town Christmas

Country singer Riley Jensen would never have returned to her small Missouri hometown if her publicist hadn’t come up with the scheme to tape a Christmas special there. So she never would have known that the man who broke her heart at eighteen—causing her to flee to Nashville—was now a widower with a seven-year-old daughter. Riley has ten years of angst-filled hit songs and Grammy awards to prove she doesn’t need Ethan Kent. But suddenly, she can’t help thinking of all she gave up by running away…

Ethan Kent knew Riley had the talent and the drive to make it as a singer. He also knew she wasn’t going anywhere if she stayed in their nowhere town for him. Then one night and one huge mistake sent her running on the road to fame. Which doesn’t mean he ever stopped loving her…

But with so much separating them, can Riley and Ethan find their way back together one magical country Christmas?

Dear Reader,

There’s something magical about the holiday season, whether you celebrate Christmas or Kwanzaa, Hanukkah or Diwali. The energy and excitement surrounding these holidays charges the air and our emotions, providing a perfect platform for romance and love. So I knew we couldn’t let Carina Press’s first holiday season pass without celebrating it with a collection of special novella releases.

This holiday season, celebrate with our first collection of invitation-only novellas. We’ve pulled together eleven talented authors and author duos, all of whom have made their mark in their respective niches, and invited them to transport our readers with holiday delights. In Naughty and Nice, join Jaci Burton, Lauren Dane, Megan Hart and Shannon Stacey as they show you both the sensual and sweet sides of the holidays. Visit post-apocalyptic worlds and paranormal beings in an enchanted journey with authors Vivi Andrews, Moira Rogers and Vivian Arend in Winter Wishes. And celebrate the beauty of the season in His for the Holidays with m/m authors Josh Lanyon, Z.A. Maxfield, Harper Fox and LB Gregg.

Through the talent of their writing and their captivating storytelling, I believe you’ll find something in each of these special novellas to put you in the magic of the holiday moment.

Wishing you the happiest of holiday seasons.

~Angela

Executive Editor, Carina Press

www.carinapress.com

www.twitter.com/carinapress

www.facebook.com/carinapress

Acknowledgements

To Angela James, a wonderful editor who understands me and knows how to push me to be better. Thanks, Angie!

Dedication

To Charlie. Every day is Christmas because of you. I love you.

Contents

Copyright

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

About the Author

Chapter One

“This is your home town? This tiny little blip in the middle of nowhere?”

“Yeah, this is it.” Riley Jensen tensed as the tour bus pulled down Central Street. In ten years, nothing much had changed. The post office was still there and so was the hardware store, the clothing shop that was probably still owned by busybody Charlene Talmage, and the diner on the corner where her foster mother used to drag her on Saturdays so she could gossip with all her friends. The five and dime still stood in the center of all the chaos.

“And you said people wouldn’t come.” Riley’s publicist stretched her long, lithe body across the leather seats and peered out the darkened privacy glass. “The streets are lined with people.” Joann turned to Riley. “See? Your town still loves you.”

Riley sniffed. “My town just wants to be on television and they know I come with photographers and a TV crew.”

Joann tsked. “So cynical for one so young.”

“I’m almost thirty, Jo. I’m hardly young anymore.”

Jo swiveled and gave her an eye roll. “You’re twenty-eight, not anywhere close to thirty, and you’re hardly headed for the rocking chair, so knock it off, put on your biggest smile and get ready to greet your hometown fans. It’s show time.”

Show time. Hometown. She hadn’t been home since she’d bought a bus ticket ten years ago and ran like hell from Deer Lake. And she’d never once looked back, come back or wanted to, until Joann and her agent, Suzie, convinced her—no, forced her—to make this trek in order to film part of the biography special in her hometown.

That they wanted to do it during the Christmas holidays was ridiculous, but whatever. Not that she had any plans anyway.

Why Deer Lake agreed to it considering she hadn’t once stepped foot in this place in the ten years she’d been gone wasn’t because they loved their long lost home town gal. They should hate her for turning her back on them, for never coming back, for never once giving back to the town that had raised her.

Yet here they were, lined up on the streets as if she were Santa in the annual Christmas parade. And she knew why. All the smiles and waves and banners and screams outside the bus were for one thing and one thing only—exposure for the town that sat on the outskirts of the Ozarks. Deer Lake had its quirky charm and a few interesting attractions. The lake for one thing, which was a hotspot in the summer. Tourism would benefit from the exposure, and so would the town.

Jo held Riley’s jacket in front of her. “You ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” She slid into the warm suede and took another look at the woman in the mirror. She was so different from the girl she’d been when she’d left ten years ago. Back then she’d been scared out of her mind when she’d bought the one-way ticket to Nashville with nothing but a few clothes in her suitcase, her guitar and the money she’d saved working at both the movie theater and the restaurant.

“They’re proud of their hometown girl, Riley. Grammy Awards, ACMs, CMAs. You name it, you’ve won them all. They know that and they want to celebrate you.”

“They know that and they want to capitalize on me.”

Jo cocked her head to the side, her dark hair pulled back in a loose ponytail, her lips painted a deep, dark red Riley could have never pulled off. “Girl, you are so mistrustful of your town. Get a grip.”

Riley swallowed past the lump in her throat. She was never nervous on stage. She lived for the spotlight. But facing down a few hundred townsfolk—people she’d known since she was a kid—yeah, that got her knees shaking.

At least she could take comfort in the fact there was a less than zero chance Ethan Kent and Amanda Richfield would be out there. She was positive neither of them would want to see her any more than she’d want to see them.

“Let’s just get this meet and greet over with, okay?”

She took a step toward the door, but Jo put up her hand. “As soon as all the cameras are in place.”

Ugh. She liked doing concerts just fine, loved playing for her fans. But this television stuff was a whole lotta nonsense. And a biography already? Riley thought you had to be old to get a biography. That way you actually had a life story to tell.

Apparently not. One of those true story television shows wanted her biography, claimed she had a rich life history and people wanted to know about it. They’d already filmed some concert footage as well as face time with her at her home in Nashville. She thought the whole thing was ridiculous. She was still single, had no kids, hadn’t been on drugs or been to prison, didn’t hang out at the clubs and party, and spent most of the year on the road. When she wasn’t touring she was in the studio writing and recording music.

Which would make for a pretty boring biography, in her opinion.

But the producers and Jo and Suzie thought where she came from was interesting. Sure, her daddy had died when she was a baby and her momma had run off not long after that, leaving her in the custody of foster care, but that wasn’t much different than what a lot of kids went through. Didn’t make her special. She’d had nice foster parents. No one beat her or abused her. She’d had an okay childhood, and she’d been a damn lucky adult so far, which still in her mind didn’t make for interesting television.

Whatever. They knew better about that kind of stuff than she did.

“Cameras are in place, now, Riley. Ready to rock and roll?”

No. “Sure.”

The bus doors opened and the sounds of screams and applause rose up, filling the bus. Crowd noise typically made her smile and jazzed her up, because that meant performance time.

But today she’d be giving a different kind of performance. Today she’d have to pretend she was happy to be back home again.

Jo went first and moved out of the way and Riley stepped forward, her heart pounding so fast all she could hear was the buzzing of a thousand bees in her head. She gripped the side rail, dizziness making her feel lightheaded.

If she passed out would she still have to do this? Maybe if she fainted they’d drag her back onto the bus and she could go home. The bio producers would rethink this whole thing. They’d call her a silly diva, not worth their time.

Excellent.

Jo gave her an expectant, move-your-ass-off-the-bus look.

You can do this. These people don’t know you anymore. All she had to do was play to the crowd like it was a concert in any city.

She lifted her head, took in a deep breath, and stepped down, becoming Riley Jensen, superstar of country music. She lifted her hand over her head and waved, and the crowd went crazy.

Okay, maybe she could do this as long as she didn’t make eye contact with anyone. She looked over the crowd, not at them.

She was invisible. She wasn’t really here. She was at home watching reruns of Bewitched.

“Riley! Riley! Riley! Can you see me?” Reality intruded and she couldn’t help but hear the high-pitched squeals in front of her. She focused her gaze on the little girl in the front row. Wow, there was a tiny explosion of pink. Bundled up in her pink down coat with her pink hat and pink gloves and matching pink boots, her dark pigtails contrasting against the cotton candy color of her coat, the little girl looked like a tiny fan girl maniac. Riley grinned.

She was such a sucker for kids. She nodded at security, who let the little girl come through. Riley squatted down as the kid catapulted herself into her arms.

“Hi, Riley Jensen! I love your music, Riley Jensen! My daddy and me waited all day for you.” She pulled back and gave Riley a big, brown-eyed grin. “Gosh you’re pretty. I got my nails painted just for today.” The little girl pulled off her glove. “Aren’t they pretty, Riley Jensen?”

And that’s why Riley loved kids. She examined the child’s fingers. “Wow, those are awesome. Pink’s my favorite color, you know.”

“That’s what my daddy says. He knows you. Says you two went to school together.”

“Is that right?” She scanned the crowd and settled her gaze on a man standing just beyond the little girl, her heart jerking in response.

This—this was why she hadn’t wanted to come back.

Or rather he was why she hadn’t wanted to come back.

He was why she’d run ten years ago. She straightened and looked into the deep amber eyes of the one man she’d never hoped to see again.

Ethan Kent, the first guy to break her heart. Okay, the only guy to break her heart, and the only guy she’d ever loved.

She felt the tug on her coat and looked down at the little girl, who grinned up at her. “Riley Jensen, that’s my daddy.”

Oh, hell.

Chapter Two

Ethan should really learn to say no to his daughter. If he had, he wouldn’t be standing in front of what was essentially the entire town of Deer Lake while facing down the woman who’d left him ten years ago in what had been the biggest scandal of the town. Because Riley had found him in bed with her then best friend, Amanda, who he’d subsequently married, and who had become the mother of the adorable but precocious little minx who’d managed to wriggle her way to the front of the line this morning in order to get the best view of country singing superstar Riley Jensen.

Yeah, hadn’t that been a fun time in his life ten years ago? Scandal, drama and tears, and he’d brought it all on himself.

Despite screwing it all up, though, he’d gotten Zoey out of it, and she was definitely the right thing. He’d never regret her.

But facing Riley again? That he hadn’t planned on. When she got her record deal and hadn’t come home to celebrate it, he figured he’d dodged the big bullet. He’d long ago given up hope of ever seeing her again.

’Til now. And staring at her until she turned tail and ran again probably wasn’t gonna happen, so it was time to man up and say something.

“Riley.”

She managed a bright smile that he knew was totally for the cameras. “Ethan. So great to see you again. This is your daughter?”

“This is Zoey, yes.”

“How…awesome.” She looked down and grinned at Zoey, and he was happy she didn’t plaster on a fake smile for his daughter, because Zoey had a bullshit meter that was good for about ten miles. “Nice to officially meet you, Zoey.”

Zoey slid her hand in Riley’s and shook it up and down. “Nice to meet you too, Riley Jensen. I have all your music on my iPod. I’m seven years old. My favorite song is the one you did for the cartoon movie, The Princess Bee.” She looked around Riley to meet Ethan’s gaze. “Daddy, what’s the name of that song?”

How about a nice earthquake to swallow him whole? No? Gee, thanks. “The Girl of My Dreams.”

“Yeah. That one. Daddy likes that one, too. He sings it around the house all the time, don’t you, Daddy?”

It was a damned shame it was December and a tornado couldn’t come sweep him away right now. “Sometimes.”

“He sings it in the shower. Really loud. I can hear him with the door closed.”

Riley arched a curious brow but he was saved by his daughter, who never let a moment go silent.

“Mayor Shims said you’re gonna give a concert, Riley Jensen. Are you gonna give a concert?”

“Shims is the mayor now?” Riley’s gaze shot to Ethan. His lips lifted at the look of horror on her face.

Stanley Shims had been the worst chemistry teacher at Deer Lake High School, and neither Ethan nor Riley had been particularly fond of him. The feeling had been mutual and their grades had reflected it.

“Yeah. As a matter of fact, he’s making his way to you right now.”

“Good God.” She pivoted just as the mayor arrived. “Mr. Shims! Or should I say, Mayor Shims. Congratulations.”

“Well, thank you, Riley. And congratulations to you on your success. I guess we both reached the pinnacle, didn’t we?”

Ethan was certain being mayor of Deer Lake didn’t compare to being a Grammy Award-winning musician, but Shims apparently couldn’t seem to make the distinction.

The mayor dragged Riley away to officially re-welcome her to Deer Lake and do some pontificating, which Shims did so well. Ethan grasped his daughter’s hand and gently tugged her back toward the crowd. Now they could blend back into obscurity, where he’d have been the entire time, if not for the fact Zoey didn’t have a shy bone in her entire body.

“Come on, muffin. You got to meet Riley, and she’s busy with other people now, so it’s time to go to Grandma’s. I need to get to work.”

“Okay.”

They started back toward the crowd but someone caught him by the sleeve of his jacket.

“Excuse me. Are you Ethan Kent?”

He turned around to face a gorgeous redhead with the longest false eyelashes he’d ever seen. She had on skin-tight pants and was wrapped in a thick coat and gloves as if she were expecting this to be North Dakota or something. It might be December in Missouri, but it wasn’t that cold.

“Yeah, I’m Ethan Kent.”

“And this is your lovely daughter, who obviously made quite the impression on Riley.”

Zoey smiled up at her. “You have pretty hair.”

“Thanks, honey.” She held out her hand to Ethan. “I’m Suzie Mitchell, Riley’s agent.”

“Nice to meet you.”

She handed Ethan a couple tickets. “Backstage passes to the concert tomorrow night.”

Zoey’s squeal damn near burst Ethan’s eardrums. Her eyes widened as she stared at Suzie like she was her fairy godmother. “Reallllly?”

“Yes, honey. Really. Riley wanted you to have these.”

“Can we go, Daddy? We’re going, right?”

Ethan pondered that learning-to-say-no-to-his-daughter thing, then nodded. “Sure.”

Which resulted in more ear splitting squealing from Zoey and a wide smile from Riley’s agent.

“Wonderful. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Great. Thanks.”

Ethan wandered away, wishing he’d never come today. Seeing Riley again had been bad enough. She looked beautiful. She’d always been beautiful, but she’d grown up, lost the roundness of her teen years. Now she sparkled like a woman, curved in all the right places. Her hair waved around her face and shoulders, still that honey-wheat blond. He was surprised she didn’t color it since she was famous now. Didn’t all women change their hair seemingly every month or so? Hers was still the same color he’d always loved.

Her blue eyes still mesmerized and tongue-tied him. She didn’t have on too much makeup like those rock stars and television people wore. She still looked like Riley, she’d just grown into herself more.

And a minute with her had brought back a lifetime of painful memories.

Now they’d have to go to her concert, where he’d have to listen to her sing all the songs she’d written about him.

Live. Where he couldn’t turn her off and walk away.

Great. Just freakin’ great.

He took the shortcut through the drugstore’s back door, knowing Missy and Bob wouldn’t mind. They were all busy ogling Riley and nobody locked anything up around here anyway. Zoey’s hand in his, he cut through the side streets and walked up the concrete steps of his parents’ house.

They had decided not to pay homage to Riley Jensen, mainly because his dad’s knee was giving him trouble today and his mom said she had some pies she wanted to bake. Ethan figured the real reason was they thought it would hurt him if they went to see her.

He pushed open the front door. The living room, looking so much like it had when he was a kid, was empty. “Mom? Dad?”

“Back here,” his mom called from the kitchen.

Zoey let go of his hand, her gloves and hat flying as she ran down the hallway. Ethan picked them up, shed his coat, hung it up and put Zoey’s gloves and hat on the table near the front door. Where they belonged. By the time he made it into the kitchen, Zoey was sitting at the table with a cup of hot chocolate in her hand and a wide grin on her cherry-tinged face.

“And then Riley gave us tickets to her concert, didn’t she, Daddy?”

Ethan knew Zoey would give his parents a rapid-fire summary of her meeting with Riley.

“She sure did.”

Ethan’s mother raised a brow. “Is that right? Well, isn’t that nice?”

“It sure is,” Zoey said. “And we get to go behind the stage and see her dressing room and hang out there the whole show. Don’t we, Daddy?”

“Uh huh.”

He got a sympathetic look from his dad on that one.

“Hey, muffin, how about you come down in the basement with me and help me work on Grandma’s dryer? You can hand me the tools.”

“Okay, Papa.” Zoey scooted off the stool and followed Ethan’s dad down into the basement, leaving him alone with his mom, who poured herself a cup of coffee and took a seat at the kitchen table.

“Why in the world would you take Zoey to meet Riley?”

He shrugged. “She wanted to go.”

“And you obviously haven’t learned to say no to that child yet.”

“I say no on some things.” Like when she wanted to dart out in the middle of the street into oncoming traffic or play with razor blades.

“Spoiling her isn’t going to bring her mother back, Ethan. She needs boundaries. She needs to know that you care enough about her to give her limits.”

“She’s not exactly a brat, Mom. She’s a great kid.”

“That she is. But giving her everything in the world still isn’t going to bring Amanda back from the dead. And speaking of that, does Riley know?”

“About Amanda? No. We barely spoke a word to each other before the mayor dragged her away.”

His mother hmphed, then rose and put her cup in the sink so she could resume stirring whatever smelled really good in the pot on the stove. “Not surprising that Shims would want to get his face in front of the camera. Better him than you and Zoey, anyway. Are you going to take her to the concert?”

“I guess. Zoey does love her music.”

His mother stirred. And stirred mentally, too. Ethan could tell because she went quiet like she always did when she was thinking.

“What?”

She half turned. “Huh?”

“What are you thinking?”

“I’m wondering what all this means.”

“What what means?”

“Riley coming back to town.”

His mother always had a point. Ethan just had no idea what it was yet. “She’s here to film some stuff about a biography. She’ll be gone soon.”

“Uh huh. Everything happens for a reason, Ethan.”

“Her being here means nothing, Mom.” He rose and rinsed his cup. “I gotta get to work. I’ll be by to pick up Zoey later.”

“Okay. Be careful.”

“Always.”

He dashed downstairs to say goodbye to Zoey and his dad, then climbed into his truck and drove to his office, the pride puffing up his chest the minute he saw the Kent Construction sign on the brick building. The building housing the office wasn’t huge, but it was theirs. The real work was done on the job site. His oldest brother, Wyatt, was already at work studying blueprints.

“Morning,” he said to his brother.

“If you say so.”

“Rough night?”

He got a grunt in response, but since Wyatt had chosen the extra large cup for his coffee this morning, Ethan assumed he’d been down at Stokey’s bar the night before, no doubt continuing his quest to forget he’d ever been married.

From the looks of his brother, that still wasn’t going well.

He’d always loved working with his brothers, even though sometimes they were a giant pain in the ass. But they’d rallied around him after Amanda died, just like they’d all rallied around Wyatt after his divorce.

Not that Wyatt wanted any rallying. He just wanted to be left alone and had thrown himself into the business during the day and making a great attempt at partying his ass off at night, which Ethan supposed was a way to shut out the pain. Ethan hadn’t had the luxury of that. He had Zoey to deal with. With no kids, Wyatt could handle his pain however he wanted. And he handled it with work, work and more work. And then play, play and more play, which Ethan knew was just a smokescreen.

Wyatt wasn’t really having any fun.

Frankly, Ethan thought it might be a good idea if Wyatt actually had a conversation with Cassandra. They’d divorced two years ago and gone their separate ways. She lived on the north side of the lake now and as far as Ethan knew they hadn’t spoken a word to each other since the lawyers haggled out the settlement.

Closure was a good thing, or so he’d heard. Ethan had even tried talking to Wyatt about it. Wyatt had told him where to stick that suggestion.

Then again, now that Riley was back in town, Ethan finally realized that whole closure thing? Probably not a good idea after all.

“Where’s Brody?” Ethan asked.

“On a job site.” Wyatt didn’t bother lifting his head from the prints. That would require engaging someone in face-to-face conversation.

“Which one?” Ethan took off his coat and pulled the permits he needed to take to a site today.

“The MacKenzie one. Foreman pitching a fit about a couple of the hands, so Brody went to unruffle some feathers.”

“Okay. Tori coming in today?”

“Any minute now.”

Ethan had just booted the system up. “I need to look at the books.”

“You got a death wish, man? You know how she gets if someone messes with the system. You want to be on the receiving end of one of her tirades?”

“Good point.” Ethan kicked the chair away from the laptop and went for the printout instead. The last thing he wanted was to get on Tori’s bad side. She might be no more than twenty or whatever, but she had a head for numbers and a temper that made good on the old Irish and redhead adage. The only one who ever went toe to toe with her was Brody, mainly because he liked to rile her up. Ethan and Wyatt tiptoed around her.

Just as he got the paperwork out Tori walked in, always a tornado in the making, both arms loaded down with bags, popping her gum, her wild red hair spilling down her back.

Tori could have worked for the FBI. She could tell in a half a second when something on her desk had been disturbed. Her green eyes flashed in Ethan’s direction.

“You touch my laptop?”

“Do I look like I fear death?”

She snickered. “How about you, Wyatt?”

“Not on your life, sweet pea.”

“Where’s your idiot brother?”

“Job site.”

“Good.” She cracked her knuckles and sat down at the desk.

Never a dull moment at the office.

“Heard Riley’s back in town,” Tori said.

Word spread fast around here. Ethan looked up to see Wyatt’s distinct lack of interest as he buried his face in his work.

“Yeah.”

“You see her yet?”

“Zoey and I ran into her this morning.”

That got his brother’s attention. And a frown. “Don’t even go there, Ethan.”

“I’m not going anywhere with her. Except to her concert.”

Wyatt rolled his eyes. Tori grinned and said, “That’s interesting.”

“Not interesting at all. Zoey’s a fan.”

“Uh huh.”

“Really. That’s it. Riley and me are in the past.”

Wyatt shook his head and Tori snickered.

It was a good thing he had work to do out of the office today.

It was past ten p.m. when he finally got back from a job site in northern Arkansas, so he called his mom who said Zoey could stay over. She often stayed at his parents anyway, whether she was in school or not. And since she was out for holiday break it worked out well for her to hang out with his mom and dad.

He took the long way home, driving through Center Street, with its quaint old storefronts and the town square, the kind of small town people saw in movies and thought wasn’t real.

It was real, and it was home to him. As he left the old town and pulled onto the main highway, he passed one of the hotels and saw Riley’s tour bus parked at the new bed and breakfast.

Kent Construction had refurbished the old Victorian for Bill and Macy Grant three years ago. A rambling, beautiful three story, Bill and Macy had retired and bought the house with the intent of going into the hospitality business during their golden years.

Guess that’s where Riley and her entourage had decided to stay. Good for Bill and Macy. He hoped Riley was paying them a lot of money. She probably had plenty to spend.

Not that he cared how much money she had, or anything about Riley. He just hoped her visit was short so he could stop thinking about her at all.

Chapter Three

Yesterday had been brutal. After interviews with the mayor, a few former teachers, and then one-on-one’s with the biography host where she asked Riley probing questions about her childhood, teen years and home town, Riley had had enough and needed a break. They’d dragged her all over town so they could get shots of her in front of all the major places in her life from the playground to one of her foster parents’ homes to the high school.

Ugh. Nightmarish. Joann had had to kick her once when she rolled her eyes, but really? Maybe no one would be interested enough in her life so far to even watch.

If she was lucky.

She told them no interviews today. She told Joann she needed some free time before the concert tonight, so she made up some flimsy excuse about heading into town to reconnect with her roots, to gain some fresh perspective so she could give some good interviews to the bio team. Joann thought that was an awesome idea.

Ha. Fooled her.

There were no roots to connect with, no people she’d stayed in touch with, and not a single person was interested in seeing her. Correction—they might be interested in hanging with her if there was a camera crew nearby, but no one would want to sit and talk to her.

She had no friends here.

She climbed into old, worn jeans, her boots and a warm coat, and put on a hat because damn it was cold outside. When she parked one of the rental cars on Central and got out, she peered up at the gray skies. Dismal clouds gathered and hung low, threatening bad weather later and obliterating whatever sun might have warmed the day.

Wind was coming in from the north.

Snow was coming.

When was the last time she got to sit outside and judge the upcoming weather? When she was home in Nashville she was secluded inside from the prying eyes of the paparazzi so she habitually stayed indoors. She might go out back once in a while early in the morning, but mostly when she got a chance to go home she slept, exhausted from being on the road. So she missed a lot of mornings. And when she was done sleeping, she buried herself in her work at the studio.

Despite the bitter cold today, it felt good to be outside, to be breathing actual air, to be able to lift her head and study the shifting clouds and think about coming storms. She remembered hanging out with Ethan and Amanda and her other friends, trying to guess when the first winter snow would hit.

Soon, it looked like. Judging from the cheerful expressions of everyone out on the street, they seemed to be happy about it. Then again, maybe they were always happy. She had no idea. She no longer knew these people. She dragged the cap over her ears and slunk into her coat. She’d braided her hair today and worn no makeup. They’d expect Riley the star, not Riley the schlub.

No one would notice her.

“Morning, Riley. Nice to see you out and about today.”

She stopped dead in her tracks and turned, her gaze following the heavyset woman with short black hair who’d just greeted her. Who the hell was that?

“Mornin’, Miss Riley. Can I direct you somewhere?”

She pivoted and faced a tall, lanky man in his forties or early fifties. He looked familiar. Who was he? She tried to place him.

He had a friendly smile. “You probably don’t remember me. I’m Trevor Troutman. My wife, Karen, and I lived next door to the Landaus, one of your sets of foster parents.”

That’s how she knew him. “Oh, right. Nice to see you again, Mr. Troutman.”

“You lookin’ for some place in particular?”

“No, sir. Just out for a walk.”

“Good for you. Maybe gonna snow today, so enjoy the nice weather while we have it.”

“Yes, sir. I’ll do that.”

“My Karen, she likes your music an awful lot. So do I, as a matter of fact. We’ll be coming to your concert this evening.” He looked up at the sky. “Weather permitting, of course.”

If she was lucky there’d be a blizzard and she could hide at the bed and breakfast tonight. “Of course. Thank you. I’ll see you tonight.”

So much for trying to hide out unnoticed. She should have known better. Trevor moved on, so Riley did, too.

Other than a new coat of paint or maybe a different awning, there hadn’t been too many changes on Central. It was exactly the same as it had been when she’d left. She browsed the store windows, checking out the fashion that had changed at the clothing stores. Thank God for that. At least they kept up with some trends. She smiled at the red and white striped awning of Clusters Candy Store.

Wow. It had been years since she’d thought about Clusters.

Unable to resist going inside, she hoped to see the smiling face of Paul Hazelton working the counter, his thick mane of white hair perfectly coiffed under the red and white hat he always wore.

Instead, a texting-on-her-phone, gum-popping teenager didn’t even notice Riley had come in, despite the bell ringing over the door.

Huh. Riley stepped up to the counter, her sweet tooth sparking to life at the colorful candies and chocolates beneath the glass counter.

Gum popping continued. Buttons were being pushed, both behind and in front of the counter. Deciding what she wanted, Riley looked up at the girl, who had a pile of strawberryish purplish hair pulled up in a twist on top of her head. No cute red and white hat.

Riley continued to wait, hoping she’d be noticed. She wasn’t.

Finally, she cleared her throat and the girl sighed as if Riley was the worst inconvenience ever. “Can I help you?”

Good God. Riley could see the color of the girl’s gum. She wanted to tell her to close her mouth.

When had Riley gotten old?

“Where’s Mr. Hazelton?”

“Who?”

“Paul Hazelton.”

“Oh. The old guy?”

Riley supposed bopping the girl in the nose would be uncalled for. “Yes. The man who owns the store.”

“He died two years ago. His wife sold the store to Ray Morrow, who happens to be my dad,” she said in a snooty, I’m-the-owner’s-daughter tone of voice.

“Paul Hazelton is dead?” Riley’s stomach pitched. “Oh, poor Pattie. What’s she doing now?”

The girl gave a shrug. “Last I heard she’s in Florida with one of her kids. So do you want some candy?”

Riley forced back tears. Mr. Hazelton had always had a smile for her when she came into the store. He told jokes. Bad, corny jokes, but he’d always made her laugh. The candy store had been one of her best memories of this town, and now this smartass teenager didn’t give a damn about whether kids were happy when they left the store or not.

“So do you want candy or not?”

She sniffled and nodded, gave the girl her order and walked out, swiping tears out of her eyes as she made an abrupt turn and smacked right into an unmoving brick wall chest, dropping her bag of candy.

Dammit.

She squatted to the ground to pick up the scattered candy.

“You always were a sucker for gum drops and licorice.”

Her gaze shot up and there was Ethan, warm eyes considering her. Wasn’t this just perfect?

She lifted her gaze to his. “Paul Hazelton died, some snotty teenager who doesn’t give a damn works in there now, and I dropped my candy.”

Tears filled her eyes. She wasn’t weak, she didn’t cry. She scrambled to pick up the pieces, both literally and figuratively.

“Let me help.”

She shooed his hands away. “I’ve got it. I’m just clumsy.”

He was smiling at her, his sexy, sensual smile that had always made her feel all gooey inside. The smile that probably made Amanda feel all gooey inside now.

If he was even still with Amanda. She had no idea who Zoey’s mother was. His little girl looked just like him. Dark hair, whiskey-colored eyes, a dimple on the left side of the cheek. She’d noticed Zoey’s dimple, too. It was so cute.

“Riley?”

“No, I’m fine. Sorry. I was distracted.”

“I’ll go inside and replace your candy.”

“Don’t. I don’t need it anyway.”

He laughed at that and was already up and in the shop before she could object. She followed him inside.

“You back for more already?” the girl asked.

“She’s a candy fiend,” Ethan said. “Always was.”

“Har har.”

“Actually, she dropped her bag outside, Tiff, so replace whatever it was she had, and add two bricks of rocky road and a quarter pound of Now and Laters for me.”

Despite not wanting to be in here—again—she couldn’t help but smile at Ethan’s selection. “I see your candy choices haven’t changed, either.”

“I need the energy for work.”

“Yeah? What work is that?”

“Wyatt, Brody and I own the construction company now that Dad is retired.”

“That must keep you busy.”

“Very.”

She took the bag from gum-chewing girl. Ethan paid. “I can pay for my own candy.”

He slanted her a look. “And I can afford a couple bucks for it.”

They walked outside. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Ethan started walking, so Riley went with him. “So…you working in town today?”

“Yeah, over there.” He pointed across town where a steel frame could be seen. “New performing arts center. Gotta have culture here. If you’d waited a year you could be putting on your concert there.”

“Oh. I guess I’ll have to suck it up at the high school gym.”

He reached into the bag and pulled out a handful of candy. “I imagine that’s one hell of a step down for you.”

No way was she taking the bait. Time to turn the tables.

“Where’s Zoey today?”

“At my parents.”

“Not home with her mother?”

“No.”

Maybe Zoey’s mother worked. And wasn’t Ethan being evasive? She’d bet she knew why. Might as well find out and get it over with. “So…did you end up marrying Amanda?”

He stilled and Riley bit her cheek, wishing she’d kept her mouth shut. Why couldn’t she have talked about the weather or something?

“Yeah, about that.”

“Hey, none of my business. Sorry.”

“I did marry Amanda. In answer to your next question, yes, she’s Zoey’s mother.”

“Okay. Look, Ethan, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

“Amanda died four years ago.”

The sidewalk spun out from under her. She stopped, turned and stared at him. “What?”

Ethan dragged his fingers through his hair. “Shit. Not the way I wanted to tell you this. I should have told you sooner, but didn’t want to in front of Zoey. It’s not something you blurt out when you first see someone after ten years.”

She hadn’t heard anything he’d said, his earlier words still spinning around in her head. “She died?”

“Yes.”

Riley knew she was staring, but she had no idea what to say. Shock left her speechless. She’d had so many things she’d wanted to say to Ethan and Amanda, so many of them self-righteous, so many of them scathing and damning. She’d even had a speech all planned out, full of indignation and finger pointing, everything she’d wanted to say ten years ago and couldn’t because she’d run. And all her anger and hurt had just disappeared into the ether. Her chest tightened. She reached up and rubbed the aching spot on her breastbone.

Had everyone she cared about died while she was gone? It suddenly seemed that way. Tears sprang fresh again and she finally made eye contact with Ethan and saw the pain in his eyes. “Oh God. Oh, Ethan, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

There was kindness in his face, sympathy for her she knew she didn’t deserve.

“I know you didn’t.”

She had no idea what to say, could only gawk at him as she stood rooted to the spot, frozen in time as she was propelled back ten years ago, before she found Ethan in bed with her best friend. Back when Amanda and she were tight, were best buds. When they used to laugh with each other, share all their secrets. They’d been inseparable then, had vowed to never be apart.

They were supposed to be best friends forever.

And then one night had shattered all that and she’d never spoken to Amanda again.

Now she’d never be able to.

“Riley?”

Pulling herself from the past, she looked around at the crowds, at the people who slowed down to stare, and finally dragged her gaze to Ethan.

What must he think of her? He was the one who’d lost everything. He’d lost his wife, the woman he’d obviously loved. Zoey had lost her mother.

“What happened? You don’t want to talk about this, do you? It’s none of my business. I’m sorry. I should move on instead of asking questions you don’t want to answer.”

Ethan knew the time would come when he’d have to tell Riley about Amanda. He just hadn’t figured it would be right now. Then again, would there ever be a right time?

Judging from her shocked and pale face, probably not.

“Come on.” He took her arm and led her through the library and out the back door, waving at Barb, the head librarian, as they hurried past. On the other side of the street was the construction trailer. He opened the door for her and she stepped inside.

Fortunately, they were alone.

“Have a seat. Want something to drink?”

“No, thanks. Really, you don’t have to—”

“It was leukemia, and it was bad. She didn’t make it a year after the diagnosis. We tried everything. Chemo, radiation, alternative treatments, but it was aggressive. There was nothing we could do.”

Riley stared up at him. “That’s too young. She was, what? Twenty-four or so?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m…not in touch with people here. I didn’t know.”

He shrugged and leaned against the desk. “No reason for you to know.”

She inhaled and shuddered out a sigh. “So many people I knew. My whole life was here and I just walked away from it. From everyone.” She lifted her gaze to his. “It’s not like I didn’t care. I did.”

“I know.” And he did. He understood why. He was the reason. He and Amanda.

“I never hated you. I never hated her.”

He gave her a faint smile. “Yes you did.”

Her eyes filled with tears. She let them slide down her cheeks. He hated being the cause of her pain again.

“Dammit, Ethan. She’s dead. I never wanted that. I was angry and hurt, but I never wished harm to Amanda.”

He pushed off the desk and came to her, kneeled in front of her. “Don’t cry. I know you didn’t. Amanda dying isn’t on you. It was a circumstance.”

She sniffed, shoved the heel of one hand under her chin. “I’m just so sorry for you and for Zoey. It’s a horrible thing.”

“Zoey’s resilient. She misses her mom, but she has me, her uncles, and my parents.”

“What about Amanda’s parents?”

Ethan shook his head. “They took her death hard. Really hard. They withdrew and couldn’t cope, not even with Zoey.”

Her eyes widened. “Good God. How could they miss connecting with Zoey?”

Ethan stood, shrugged. “Don’t ask me. I tried to reach out to them, but they wanted no part of me or Zoey after Amanda died. They left town a year later, said they couldn’t handle the memories.”

Riley shook her head. “That makes no sense, Ethan. Zoey was their connection to her.”

“Don’t ask me to explain them. I can’t.”

“I’m sorry for them, but not surprised. They were always so wrapped up in Amanda. She was their life.”

“Losing her broke them. They were so angry, bitter, blamed me for it.”

“How could they blame you for a disease? You didn’t give her leukemia.”

“I shouldered it because they needed to blame someone for the senseless loss of their little girl. How else do you explain why a twenty-four-year-old healthy woman dies?”

Riley bent her head to her chest for a few minutes and Ethan let her grieve. When she lifted her head, she wiped her eyes and straightened her shoulders. But the pain in her eyes—that shredded him. It brought back the loss as if it had just happened yesterday.

If she hadn’t left, she would have been here when Amanda died.

That was on him. He had to bear some of the responsibility for that.

“It’s good that you’ve been there for Zoey. She needs you.”

He relaxed, thought about Zoey. “She’s everything to me. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. She’s the only thing I’ve ever done right.”

Riley wanted to ask him what his mistakes were, but she saw the raw hurt in his eyes, and the pride when he talked about his daughter. She wouldn’t push any further, not after what he’d told her about Amanda.

Amanda had been her best friend once. There’d been a lot of water under the bridge since she’d left, a lot of betrayal and hurt, but for a very long time Amanda had been the closest thing to a sister Riley would ever have.

If she’d stayed in touch with the town, with Amanda, if she’d learned forgiveness sooner, she’d have known. She could have been here for her best friend during the last year of her life.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here for her.”

“You didn’t need to be, but if it’s any comfort to you, Amanda felt awful about what happened. She said if I ever saw you again I was supposed to tell you that.”

Riley’s eyes widened. “I don’t want to hear that.”

Ethan frowned. “Why not?”

“Because now I can’t tell her that I’m sorry, too. I said some terrible things to her before I left. I hurt her.”

She’d hurt them both, but she couldn’t make it right with Amanda now. She’d called Amanda a slut and Ethan a cheating bastard, and then left them both in the dust and never looked back.

Ethan hooked his thumbs in his jeans, the action so familiar to her it caused an ache in her throat.

“From what I remember she did the same to you.”

“And now you tell me she said she was sorry. I’ll never get the chance to tell her.”

“You did.”

“What?”

“You did already. In your music. She listened to every song. She knew, Riley. She heard your apology.”

“You know my music. What Zoey said yesterday…”

“Yeah, I listen. I heard it all.”

The condemnation, the hurt, the raw agony of those first years. She’d always written her own music. Her first album had been her catharsis, pouring her heart out over losing Ethan to Amanda. It had been the grief of young love lost, about betrayal and anger. She’d sung about what it was like to open your eyes to what was around you so you’d never feel stupid again. The album had gone triple platinum, and she felt like she’d grown up and walked away from all of this, determined to never look back.

But she had looked back, because later on she had written about forgiveness, about becoming wise and learning from your mistakes. She had written about people doing what they thought was right, and everything not revolving around you and what you wanted, and she’d sung about letting go. After time and distance her anger had dissipated, and she had said she was sorry in her music, because she had bared her soul in her lyrics, and so much of her hurt had been directed at Ethan and Amanda. She’d made sure the whole world knew it.

She’d gotten famous off her pain, but she’d finally realized that she had caused other people pain, too. Maybe no one else knew who she’d been writing about, but Deer Lake had known.

“I’m sorry, Ethan. For the lyrics, for the hurt I must have caused you and Amanda.”

“Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything wrong. I did. Amanda did. I said it that night all those years ago, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to say it enough. But you? You don’t ever have to be sorry, Riley. You did what you knew how to do. You made music and you wrote your heart out. Don’t apologize for that.”

She shuddered out a sigh. They’d needed to have this talk, but there was so much more she wanted to say, and so many things that should probably be left unsaid. For so many years she’d wanted to undo the past.

But the past was etched in stone and there was no going back and changing it now.

Yet no matter how many years went by, she’d always want to know why.

Why he’d told her he loved her, then chose Amanda over her.

She doubted she’d ever have the nerve to ask the question. The answer didn’t matter anymore anyway.

“I should let you get back to work.” She stood, grabbed her coat and put it on. She reached for the door handle, then turned. “You and Zoey coming to the concert tonight?”

He gave her a puzzled look. “Yeah. You had your agent gives us backstage passes, remember?”

Damn that Suzie. “Oh. Right. Of course. Won’t that be great? See you then.”

As she headed back toward her car, she felt empty inside.

And everything hurt more now than it ever had before.

Chapter Four

Zoey was on a high no sugar could match. Backstage in the gym, the sounds and lights and traffic of people buzzed past them as Riley’s concert team readied the stage, transforming the gym into something unrecognizable with lights and speakers and screens befitting Riley’s status. Zoey bounced up and down on her light-up tennis shoes, unable to stand still as the roadies prepped for the event and Ethan tried to keep his daughter from climbing right out of her hair.

The concert wasn’t going to start until nine o’clock, which was his daughter’s bedtime. She hadn’t napped today, either, despite his mother’s attempt to get her to rest.

His kid was going to be toast by the time the concert was over. Or she’d be on excitement overload and up all night.

Ethan prayed for toast.

“Is it time yet, Daddy? Have you seen Riley Jensen yet? I haven’t seen her. Can we go to her dressing room now?”

Zoey tugged on his hand for the millionth time. “I’m sure Riley’s busy getting ready for her concert. How about we just try to stay out of the way and be patient.”

Patient. A word not in a seven-year-old’s vocabulary.

“But why can’t we go see her? I bet she won’t mind. She likes me.”

“How about we wait until after the concert when she isn’t so busy?”

“But, Daddy, I want to see her nowwww.”

Whining. Sure sign of a tired kid. Ethan kneeled down and looked his beautiful daughter in the eyes. “Zoey, we’re not going to Riley’s dressing room. The concert people were nice enough to give us backstage passes, which means you need to be on your best behavior. I know you’re excited, but you still have to be good. And that means doing what I tell you to do, okay?”

Her bottom lip trembled. Man, was this kid good or what? He should get her an agent. He was usually a sucker for the quivering lip, but not tonight. He didn’t want to be here. He’d already seen way more of Riley than he’d intended to during her visit, so his daughter was just going to have to suck it up.

As soon as Zoey saw that her drama routine wasn’t working, she lifted her shoulders practically to her earlobes, then dropped them, accompanied by a loud, dramatic sigh. “Okay, Daddy. I’ll be good.”

And now he had guilt. Of course, when didn’t he have guilt?

Fortunately, Riley came out of her dressing room, zeroed in on Zoey and Zoey sure zeroed in on Riley.

“Riley Jensen! I’ve been waiting alllll night for you!”

Riley grinned and scooped Zoey up in her arms. “You have? Why didn’t you come to my dressing room?”

Zoey shot Ethan a scathing look. “Daddy said we couldn’t.”

Riley put her down and Zoey slipped her hand in Riley’s.

“Oh. Well you could have come in. I just relax a little before I go on.”

“Believe me, if Zoey would have been in there with you, there would have been no relaxing.”

She laughed. “It’s no big deal.” She looked down at Riley. “From now on you’re welcome to be wherever I am.”

“See, Daddy? I told you she liked me.”

“You’ll be sorry you said that. You won’t even be able to go to the bathroom alone.”

Riley arched a brow. “She’s a kid, Ethan.”

“She’s seven. And demanding. Trust me on this.”

Riley looked down at Zoey. “You ready for the concert?”

“Yup.”

Suzie came over. “I have a spot all picked out for you two side stage with a great view. Why don’t you come with me so Riley can get set up?”

Ethan took Zoey’s hand. “Let’s go, Zoey.”

“See you two later,” Riley said, and moved off, a few people following after her.

Suzie set them in a chair at the side curtain where they had a perfect view of the stage. Ethan hoisted Zoey in his lap and waited while Riley set up with her band.

She looked beautiful in tight jeans and cowboy boots, a flowing turquoise top, her hair spilling in soft waves over her shoulders and long earrings that sparkled in the light. She wore bangles on both wrists that shimmered in the overhead lights, too. She looked magical. She looked like a star. Hell, she was a star.

The announcer came out and the packed-to-capacity crowd went crazy. Ethan had never seen so many people in the high school gym. Once word had gotten out that Riley had come home, people from the surrounding cities came in droves. The gym was at capacity, given that it was a free concert. Ethan heard Riley’s crew had set up a big screen and speakers outside for the overflow of people who couldn’t get inside, especially since the fire marshal was keeping a close count on the number of people in the gym.

After the announcer left, the crowd started clapping, their raucous cries and stomping feet commanding her to come out, demanding the curtains to part. But when the lights went out and the stage went black, a hush fell over the crowd. The curtains opened to a darkened stage and the spotlight fell on Riley sitting on a stool with her guitar.

Riley began to play, the song so familiar Ethan could hum it in his sleep. One of the songs from her first album, a song of loss and pain so deep it brought a stab of pain to him as she sang the words that had torn him apart the first time he’d heard them.

“Turns out forever meant different things to us after all.

Loving you was gonna hurt me after all

After it all, after it all, all the tears and all the pain

I still loved you, after all.”

Her voice struck him deep in his heart. When she was younger, he’d loved to listen to her whenever she picked up her guitar. But then it had just been her and her guitar in his basement or in his room or his parents’ living room or wherever they were gathered with their friends. And later, when he’d bought her CD, he’d been struck by the sheer magic of how incredible she sounded.

But the maturity of her voice and listening to her live was so much better than what he remembered from ten years ago, and light years from plugging in his iPod. This was the voice of an angel, and she sang only to him, about him, and even when she damned him for the sins he’d committed it was pure heaven.

Even Zoey was enraptured, her blue eyes wide, her normally chirpy voice silent as she leaned against his chest and stared at Riley as she went through the strains of song after song. Whether fast and upbeat and singing about cutting loose and dancing, or the slow and haunting strains as she sang of love gone wrong, she wrapped her music around Ethan and his daughter, further reminding him of what he’d given up all those years ago.

Every note further sealed for him that he’d made the right choice in letting her go, in not trying harder to find her after she’d left. This is what Riley had been meant to do, and if he’d had to fall into Amanda’s trap and lose Riley for this to happen for her, then it had been all worth it.

The concert lasted an hour and a half, and when she ended on the soft melody of a country lullaby, his baby girl fell asleep in his arms. Not even the thunderous standing ovation the crowd gave Riley could wake Zoey. He sat there while Riley did an encore, not wanting to miss a moment of the last song she sang. When she came off the stage, she stopped, paused and stared, and tears sparkled in her eyes as she stared down at Zoey.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything more beautiful,” she said, her gaze meeting his.

He was about to say the same thing to her about her music.

“Do you need to go home?”

“Probably.”

“Okay.”

He sensed her hesitation, that she wanted to talk. What he really wanted to do was get the hell out of here. His head and his heart were filled with her and her music and the memories of the two of them. Big mistake to linger. He needed to shake the dust off the past and get his mind firmly in the present, where Riley didn’t exist.

“Stay. Please.”

Damn. “Okay. I just need to lay Zoey down.”

She nodded. “Bring her on back to my dressing room.”

Ethan lifted Zoey, followed Riley and laid her down on the sofa in the makeshift dressing room they’d set up for her in the high school drama department’s changing room. He covered Zoey with his jacket and took the bottle of water one of Riley’s staffers offered him, then sat on the arm of the sofa while Riley shooed everyone who wanted to crowd in out of the room. She shut the door behind her and turned to him.

“That was a beautiful performance tonight.”

She grinned. “You think so? Thanks.”

“I always loved your singing. Your voice is amazing.”

Her lashes tilted closed as she turned away. He couldn’t believe she was unaccustomed to praise. She probably got it all the time.

“I’m glad you came tonight.”

“Me, too. Zoey loved it, too. She fell asleep on the last song.”

Riley pulled up a chair next to the sofa. “Late night for her.”

“Long day for her. She was excited about this. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the invitation.”

She crooked a smile. “For Zoey, of course.”

“For both of us. I enjoyed the concert, too.”

***

It hovered on the tip of her tongue, the why not me question she wanted to ask. But Zoey lay sleeping like an angel on the sofa a foot away from Ethan. Now wasn’t the time.

It would never be the right time to ask a question for which there wasn’t ever going to be a good enough answer.

Because he’d preferred Amanda, and she’d never seen it coming. She’d spent years going over it in her head—all the times the three of them had been together. Why hadn’t she seen it?

Enough. She wasn’t eighteen years old anymore. Amanda was dead, and there was no point in rehashing old hurts.

But the question still burned inside of her, desperate to be asked.

She hoped she could get out of this town and soon before the question spilled out.

“Great crowd tonight,” he finally said, no doubt to fill the silence in the room.

“Yeah, it was. Who knew everyone would come?”

He tilted his head to the side. “Riley, everyone here is proud of you.”

“I didn’t think anyone here liked me anymore. I hadn’t been back since I left.”

“People don’t hold grudges like that. You know how this town is.”

“I guess I forgot how forgiving folks could be.” She’d forgotten a lot of things. Like how to be forgiving.

She lifted her gaze to Ethan, remembered the past, only this time the good parts instead of the bad.

He looked good tonight in his dark jeans and long-sleeved dark blue button-down shirt, his muscles filling out every square inch. He used to be on the skinny side, but strong. Judging from the way he fit the shirt, she could only imagine the muscles now.

He studied her and she wondered what he saw.

Country diva who couldn’t be bothered to come home once she’d left.

Ex-girlfriend who’d run and never returned.

Bad friend who hadn’t been here when her best friend had needed her most.

What else must he think of her?

Then again, she hadn’t created this mess alone, had she? She hadn’t been the one to climb into bed with Amanda and ruin what she and Ethan had.

And again, the question burned on the tip of her tongue, begging to be asked.

Why?

Ethan shifted, dragging the smoke of the past away and reminding her that she was a lousy hostess.

“Yeah, well, I should get Zoey home and into bed.”

Great job, Riley. “Sure.”

He put on his coat and turned to her. “Thank you again for the backstage passes.”

She wanted to tell him she hadn’t even known about the passes, that it had been Suzie’s doing. But what point would that serve, other than self protection?

“You’re welcome. Glad you came.”

“How much longer are you staying in town?”

She cocked a brow. “Anxious to get rid of me?”

His lips lifted. “No. No, that wasn’t it at all. I was just wondering if there was someplace you needed to be, with the holidays and all.”

She shoved her hands in the pockets of her jeans. “No. I have to hang out here with a few of my people until this…thing is over with.”

“Thing?”

“Biography thing.”

“Oh. Yeah, right.”

She shrugged. “Not my idea. Honest. I’m a little young for a bio.”

“The television people seem to think otherwise.”

He was delaying leaving. She wondered why. “They said I’ve lived a lifetime in twenty-eight years, or some nonsense to that effect.”

“Haven’t you? You’ve gone through a lot to get where you are now.”

Was it her imagination, or was he drawing closer?

“Not really. I just got lucky.”

She found herself focusing on his lips, which was such a bad idea, because it got her thinking of how great a kisser he was, and how long it had been since she’d kissed him. And then she licked her lips, and his gaze traveled to her mouth and settled there.

“Luck had nothing to do with your success. Pure talent.”

She really wished he’d look somewhere other than her mouth, because now her throat went dry, and she had to swallow. And lick her lips again. She suddenly wanted to kiss him more than she wanted to breathe.

He took a step closer and reached for her.

“Daddy, I have to go potty.”

Riley took two steps back and so did Ethan, both of them turning to focus on a very sleepy-eyed Zoey, who sat up and rubbed her eyes.

“Sure, muffin.”

“Where are we, Daddy?”

“In Riley’s dressing room.”

Zoey blinked, yawned and grinned at Riley. “Hi, Riley Jensen. You sing good.”

Riley laughed. “Thanks, sweetie.”

He took Zoey’s hand and she slid off the sofa.

“We’d better go find a bathroom, and then head home. I’ll see you later.”

“Okay. Bye, Zoey.”

Zoey waved. “Bye, Riley Jensen.”

Only after Ethan closed the door to the dressing room did Riley sink onto the sofa and exhale.

Ethan had almost kissed her. Even worse, Riley had really wanted him to.

She had to get the hell out of this town, and fast.

Chapter Five

“Have you seen the contract for the Lincoln project?” Tori asked him the next day.

“No.”

“It’s your project, Ethan. You were out yesterday having the contract signed.”

“I don’t know where it is. Maybe my truck.” He kept his focus on the blueprint he was studying, trying to tune out anything else but work.

“Well, do you think you could go get it so I could enter it into the system?”

“Later. I’m busy.”

He heard an audible sigh.

“Ethan, only Wyatt has the market cornered on brooding asshole.”

“Hey. I am here,” Wyatt grumbled from the corner of the office.

“So?” Tori replied. “It’s not like your attitude is a big secret. And Brody is a close second in the annoying-me-until-I-want-to-scream department.”

“I do my best,” Brody said, having made an appearance this morning.

“Shut up, Brody.” She turned her attention back to Ethan. “Ethan, you’re supposed to be the nice guy of the three brothers. If you turn cranky or irritating like these two, I might just have to start cracking some heads around here.”

He lifted his head and stared across the office at Tori. She tapped her pencil against the corner of her desk and gave him one of her trademark don’t-screw-with-me looks.

“You wouldn’t like her when she’s angry,” Brody teased.

“Shut. Up. Brody.” Tori’s jaw was clenched. It was clear she was reaching the boiling point.

“Sorry. Have a lot on my mind.” Ethan fished his keys out of his pocket and tossed them to her. “I’m pretty sure the contract is laying in the seat.”

She caught the keys and stood. “Thanks. And what made you so bitchy today?”

“Nothing. I don’t know. Not much sleep last night.”

“Oh, a date?” She stopped at his desk and leaned against it, obviously eager for some good gossip.

Too bad he had none for her. “No.”

The place went silent. Good. Until he felt eyes on him. He lifted his gaze and Tori was still there, leaning over his desk to give him her X-ray vision, as if she could see into his brain.

“What?”

“You know that’s not good enough.”

“And you’re not my mother.”

“And you know I’m going to continue to stare at you until you tell me where you were last night.”

Jesus, she was like a dog with a bone. “Why?”

“Because it obviously has something to do with your less-than-stellar mood today.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“Then you should have no problem telling us where you were last night.”

Shit.

“She’s got you now, Ethan,” Brody said, propping his feet up on his desk and no doubt grateful he wasn’t the one under Tori’s microscope this morning.

It was clear she wasn’t going to give up. “I went to Riley’s concert.”

Tori made a face and stood. “Glutton for punishment, aren’t you?”

“Huh?”

But Tori was already out the door.

Brody stood and came over to his desk, leaned against it and folded his arms. “What the hell possessed you to go to Riley’s concert?”

Ethan was already nose down in blueprints again. “Zoey likes her.”

“Uh huh. And you sat in the back row and sucked it up?”

“No. We had backstage passes.”

“Oh. Extra-strength pain and humiliation.”

“It wasn’t bad. It’s been ten years. She doesn’t hold a grudge.”

Wyatt snorted. “Bullshit. All women hold a grudge.”

“Yeah, and you don’t?” His brother held a deep grudge against his ex-wife, and it was affecting everything about his life.

Wyatt shrugged and took up his pencil again, effectively tuning them out.

Brody, unfortunately, didn’t. “Seriously, man, what’s up with you seeing Riley?”

“I’m not ‘seeing’ Riley. I took Zoey to her concert. Then I came home. Now I’m at work. Trying to work.” He motioned his head toward the blueprints.

“But you can’t deny there’s some serious history between you two. And unfinished business.”

“Brody’s right.” Tori came back in and shut the door to the office, laying the folder she’d retrieved on her desk. “You should settle it or you’ll end up a grumpy old man like Wyatt.”

“Again, I’m in the room,” Wyatt grumbled.

“Oh, like you care what we say about you, Wyatt,” Tori said as she took her seat and opened the folder. “You ignore us all anyway like you’ve been doing for the past two years. Go back to brooding. I’ll pick on you another day.”

Wyatt had no comment.

Maybe Ethan needed to try the silent approach in the future, because arguing with them was getting him nowhere. There was no business to finish with Riley.

***

“So they want to interview Ethan.”

Riley’s head shot up from the page where she’d been jotting down notes for a song and gaped at Joann.

“No. Absolutely not.”

“He’s part of your past, Riley. A big part. You’ve written like twenty-five songs about him.”

“And no one knows that but you and Suzie and the band, and you’re all sworn to secrecy. You promised.”

How had they found out about Ethan?

“The producers don’t know about the connection between Ethan and the songs. They just know he was your teenage boyfriend, which makes him a part of your past, a part they feel should be explored.”

“No. We talked about this. No Ethan.” She’d made it clear Amanda wouldn’t be interviewed, either, but of course that would never happen now. “I don’t want him or Zoey involved in this.”

Jo took a seat in the living room across from the roaring fire. The temperature had dropped and the skies were an ugly gray outside. Riley snuggled up in her sweats, Henley shirt and thick socks in front of the fire, intent on sipping hot cocoa and working on the song she’d started on the bus ride here. She’d spent part of the day lost in her music, happy to be alone and away from the production of the biography. When she wrote she could shut out everything, including what had almost happened between her and Ethan last night.

Except her songwriting had drifted into thoughts of first love and first kisses, and that’s not at all where she’d intended to go.

Instead, her idyllic moments of peace had been shattered by this. No way was she going to allow it.

“The thing is, Rye, Ethan has agreed to it.”

She laid her guitar to the side, letting it rest against the chair. “What?”

“They called him this afternoon and he agreed to the interview tomorrow as long as they promised to keep his daughter out of it, not mention her and make sure she stays off camera.”

“Oh, no. That’s not going to work at all.” She stood. “He absolutely cannot do the interview.”

Jo nodded. “I’ll get a staff member to contact the biographer, and then Ethan.”

“No. I don’t want this staffed out. I need to talk to Ethan myself.” She went into the kitchen and looked around. “Surely there has to be a phone book around here somewhere.”

One of her staff members grabbed it from the counter and handed it to her.

“Thanks.”

She flipped through the book and found Ethan’s name, dug in her purse for her cell and dialed Ethan’s home phone number.

“No answer.” Damn. “I’ll try his parents. They might know how I can reach him.”

She dialed his parents’ number, and his mother picked up. It had been years since she’d spoken to Mrs. Kent. A lump the size of her tour bus lodged in her throat.

“Mrs. Kent?”

“Yes?”

“It’s Riley Jensen.”

She waited for silence, for condemnation, for something other than the enthusiastic response she got.

“Riley, honey! I’m so glad to hear from you. Why haven’t you been by to see us yet? I’m so sorry we didn’t make it to greet you when you arrived the other day, but Roger’s knee is bad and I knew Ethan would be dropping Zoey off. And look at me talking your ear off and you haven’t had a chance to say a word yet.”

Riley breathed a sigh of relief. “It’s so wonderful to hear your voice, Mrs. Kent.”

“Please, call me Stacy. You’re a big girl now.”

“Thank you, Stacy. I was wondering if you knew where Ethan was. It’s kind of important I talk to him.”

“He’s over here tonight. Everyone came over for dinner and game night. Why don’t you swing by? I know everyone would love to see you.”

Oh, right. She’d just bet his brothers would “love” to see her. “Oh, I don’t know about that. If I could just talk to Ethan…”

“Well, he’s in the middle of a rather rousing game of Yahtzee at the moment, so you’d better come on over. Though I realize you’re a big and important star and probably busy doing something, so I understand if you can’t.”

It hadn’t been said with malice. Stacy Kent thought Riley’s dance card was full. Ha. “I’m not big and important, and I’ll be right over. Thank you for the invitation.”

“Great, honey. See you soon.”

She hung up and wondered why she’d agreed to step foot into the lion’s den.

***

As she stood outside Ethan’s parents’ house and stared up at the brightly blinking Christmas lights lining the roof as well as the smiling, waving mechanical Santa and snowman parked on the front lawn, Riley took a deep lungful of bitter cold air and wondered what she was doing here. She should have just asked Ethan’s mother to have him call her when he was free.

But it had been a long time since she’d seen his parents, and they’d always been so nice to her.

Still, his brothers were here and she’d just bet they weren’t members of her fan club.

Her knees knocked against each other and her heart slammed against her chest as she rang the doorbell.

One would think she’d never get nervous, but since she’d come back to Deer Lake, she’d had a ton of leg-shaking moments.

Ethan’s dad swung the door open. He’d changed a little in ten years, gotten a little grayer and a lot heavier, but his generous smile was still the same.

“Riley Jensen. Aren’t you just all grown up and more beautiful than ever? Come on in.”

“Thank you, Mr. Kent.”

He shut the door behind her, then took her coat. “Everyone’s in the family room. He limped next to her. “You have your choice of Yahtzee, Uno or Scrabble.”

She remembered family game night, a required weekly event she’d always loved, and a tradition that obviously still continued.

Family traditions. She’d never had them because she’d jumped around from family to family. That’s why she’d loved the Kents. They’d been her stability, her normalcy in a childhood that wasn’t.

The house hadn’t changed much. As she surveyed the Christmas tree and the decorations she remembered so well, she was struck with a pang of homesickness she hadn’t felt since the day she’d grabbed a bus out of town and hadn’t looked back.

The Kent home had been as much a home for her as it had been for Ethan. When she and Ethan had started dating her freshman year of high school, they’d been inseparable, which meant she’d spent much of her time at his house because she tended to bounce around here and there at foster homes. And even when she was stable, she didn’t want to burden her foster family with yet another kid.

The Kents had been like parents to her—kind, welcoming, treating her like their own daughter.

She’d loved them.

And like so many others in Deer Lake, she’d left them behind without explanation and without saying goodbye.

She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed them until she saw the stuffed Christmas moose on the table in the foyer, or the strings of lighted garland winding up the stairs, or the smiling snowmen who decorated Stacy’s mantel. She heard the whistling of the train under the tree, remembering sitting in the living room and staring at that train for hours, marveling at the magic of a family holiday.

All of these were part of her memories of Christmases past.

Not everything in the past hurt.

She’d had good memories too.

Fighting back tears, she put on a smile as Roger led her into the oversized family room.

“Guess who I found at the front door?”

Several pairs of eyes turned and the raucous noise in the room quieted down.

The guys all stood.

The Kent brothers had certainly all grown up. Between Ethan, Wyatt and Brody, the three of them were devastating in the looks department. All of them with thick dark hair, tall and well muscled. Wyatt had dangerous good looks and a firm jaw, Brody looked like one of those sexy calendar models, all lean and lethal, but it was Ethan who caught her eye the most. It was in his eyes, the way he looked at her when she entered the room. Maybe because she’d been in love with him for half her life.

Ethan came over to her.

“Riley. What are you doing here?”

“I called your house but you weren’t there so I called your mother. She asked me to come over.”

Stacy greeted her with a hug and held it for a minute. “More like demanded she come join us. So wonderful to see you again, Riley.”

The hug was so warm and welcoming, Riley never wanted to let go. “It’s nice to see you again, too.”

“Now, what would you like to drink? Hot chocolate?”

Riley nodded. “That would be great. Thanks.”

“Good. I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll go work your Scrabble words while you’re gone,” Roger said.

Stacy shot him a glare. “You even so much as peek anywhere near my side of the table and I’ll hobble your other leg.”

Roger narrowed his gaze. “You’re cutthroat, woman.” He turned and gave Riley a wink. “She thinks I cheat.”

Ethan rolled his eyes. “Duh, Dad. You do cheat.”

Roger lifted his chin. “Do not. I just can’t spell good so your mother takes that advantage and uses it against me.”

“Are we going to play here or what?” Brody asked. “I’m ahead of you and Wyatt and I intend to kick your butts.”

“I need to talk to Riley.”

“Well make it fast. And hi, Riley. Nice to see you around here again. Try to visit more than once every ten years, will ya?”

“Thanks, Brody. Nice to see you again too. And I’ll try. And hi, Wyatt.”

“Uh huh.” Wyatt offered up a half-assed wave, then lifted a bottle of beer to his lips.

Ethan led her out of the room and into the formal living room. They took seats on the sofa. “Ignore Wyatt. He’s got a major chip on his shoulder. It’s not you, trust me. He treats everyone with the exact same amount of disdain.”

“Really? Why?”

“It’s his divorce a couple years ago. He’s still carrying a grudge and isn’t fond of women in general.”

“Oh. Ouch. I’m sorry.”

Ethan shrugged. “That’s his problem to deal with.”

“Where’s Zoey?”

“Spending the night at a friend’s house.”

“Oh. I’m sorry I missed her.”

He smiled. “She likes you too. And she had fun at the concert, even though she passed out at the end.”

Riley laughed. “It’s no problem. It was late. I’m glad she had a good time.”

She was stalling. She should tell him why she was here.

“Here’s your hot chocolate.” Stacy handed her a steaming mug, then hovered while Riley sipped.

She moaned. “It’s just how I remembered. Thick, with an overabundance of marshmallows. It’s wonderful.”

Stacy beamed. “I’m glad you like it.”

Ethan looked up at his mother. “Uh, Mom?”

“Oh. Oh, of course. If you’ll excuse me, I’d better go get back to Scrabble before Roger steals all my tiles.”

She left the room, and Riley turned to Ethan. “It’s about the interview you’re doing tomorrow.”

He frowned. “The one with the biography people?”

“Yes. Please don’t do it.”

“Why not?”

Did she have to spell it out? “You know why not. I can’t believe you even agreed to it. The history between us, what happened between you and Amanda. Do you really want all of that broadcast?”

He gave her the kind of indulgent smile he probably gave his daughter when she was overtired and acting out. “Do you really think I’m going to give them details? How dumb do you think I am, Riley? All they want to talk about is us dating in high school. I figure I’ll toss them a few crumbs and they’ll be on their way.”

“I’d like to keep that part of my life off limits.”

He laughed. “Right. It wasn’t off limits in your music, was it?”

Irritation skittered across her pulse, driving up her heartbeat. “No one knew it was you.”

“Wrong. Everyone knew it was me. Everyone who counted to me. Maybe none of the millions of your fans, but every single person in this town heard your lyrics and felt sorry for you and turned their eyes to Amanda and me. We couldn’t walk down the street together for a long time when your first album came out.”

She stood and stared down at him. “Is that why you agreed to the interview? You’re looking for a little payback?”

He stood, too. “What do you think I’m going to say to them, Riley? You were the victim in all of this. Nothing I say to them could paint you in a bad light. I did sleep with your best friend, and that’s why you couldn’t get out of Deer Lake fast enough. Hell, you’ll come out of it looking even better, so I don’t know why you’re worried. You should be pushing me to talk to the media. Think of all the new songs you’ll get out of this.”

A stab to her heart couldn’t have hurt more than his words did. “Is that what you think of me? After all we’ve been through, is that all you think of me? You believe that I’m back here to eke out some more heartache and song lyrics, Ethan, that I looked forward to reliving the nightmare of ten years ago so I could grab a few songs for my next album? After all, the well might be dry now so maybe you and I could relive old times, or maybe even drum up something new and painful and I could go platinum again. It’s all about using each other, isn’t it? Because that’s what you really think of me, isn’t it? That it’s all about the fame and the money.”

He didn’t answer, which was, she supposed, his answer.

She flicked her gaze to the doorway and there stood his mother, his father and his brothers.

Great. Did they all believe the same thing about her?

The walls seemed to close in on her. She couldn’t breathe.

She had to get out of here. Now.

Chapter Six

Riley did what she’d always done best. She ran.

She turned and escaped from the room, grabbed the door handle and fled out the front door, realizing as soon as she did that she’d forgotten her coat and that’s where she’d slipped the keys to the rental car.

No way was she going back inside that house. Instead, she sprinted past the car and down the street, not even noticing the temps outside until she slowed down to a brisk walk. She hadn’t even felt the tears streaming down her cheeks until she was struck by how cold her face was. Her sweater and jeans were no match for the frigid evening temperature, and once her flushed anger ebbed, she realized she was freezing.

She stopped, automatically shoved her hand into her jeans, then rolled her eyes. She’d slipped her cell phone in her coat pocket, too.

She had no one to blame for this fiasco but herself.

She’d acted like a child in there, tossing accusations and arguing with Ethan just like she had with him before she’d run out of town ten years ago. She had a right to be angry at Ethan. The things he’d said to her were unforgiveable. What she should have done was stand her ground and tell him exactly what she thought of him. But no. She’d had to play the victim and run out of the room all hurt.

The running part she was really good at.

Old hurts and angers. Some things didn’t change, and some hurts could never be repaired. If she was smart, she’d turn around, go back to Ethan’s house and suck up the embarrassment, grab her coat and keys and drive home. It was over a mile walk back to the bed and breakfast and she was not dressed for that.

But dammit, he’d hurt her, and she would not go crawling back there. She had her pride and she refused to humiliate herself any further. It wasn’t like she was going to die in a mile. Uncomfortable, yes. Dead, no. She’d send someone over for the car and her coat tomorrow.

Shivering, it didn’t take a block and a half before her ears began to sting and she was certain her toes were going to end up with frostbite.

What was the temperature outside anyway?

Okay, maybe a mile in this cold was a little far.

When the first snowflakes started to fall, she laughed.

Perfect.

Dumb, Riley, really. Next time you decide to storm off in a huff, grab your coat first.

She saw headlights and wondered if it was someone she knew. She was so cold she’d offer up an autographed guitar to whoever drove her back to the bed and breakfast.

The car slowed and pulled to the curb. She stilled when the window rolled down.

It was Ethan.

“Riley, get in.”

She thought for all of a quarter of a second about telling him to stick it, but she wasn’t that stupid. She was freezing and she was certain she’d lost a few brain cells. She shuffled her frozen body to the car and slid inside.

Thankfully he had the heater blasting, and her coat was on the seat next to her. She pulled it over her. And then he scooted over toward her.

She shot him a look. “Wha…what are you doing?”

“Warming you.” He pulled her against him. “Are you out of your mind running out of the house without a coat? It’s five degrees outside.”

No wonder she thought she was going to die out there.

She wanted to argue with him, but he’d opened his coat and drew her against his chest and he was so damn warm all she could think about was the heat of his body. She was shivering uncontrollably now and couldn’t seem to stop her teeth from chattering.

“I’ll be f…f…fine in a minute. Then you c…can let me go.”

He rubbed her back and hair, his voice gentle. “I know. I will.”

The snow came down harder now, obliterating her vision of the outside. The heater and their breath fogged the windshield and windows, reminding her of what they used to do in his car to steam up the windows. It had a lot to do with body heat, but not because she’d been stupid and walked outside in the cold. Those thoughts and memories coupled with being in his arms again warmed her more than the heater.

“I…I’m…”

“Shhh. Just relax, Riley. Your body is so cold. I’m not going to move this car until you’re warm, so you can just listen to me.”

She was still shaking, so he was probably right.

“I’m sorry. Really sorry. I was out of line. Seems like I’m always hurting you and I never meant to. The things I said were unforgiveable. It was a knee-jerk reaction.”

“More like a jerk reaction.”

He laughed, the sound deep and vibrating against his chest.

“You’re right there. I was a total jerk. For some reason you bring out the worst in me.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“Not what I meant. God, Riley, I just make a mess of things when I’m around you, don’t I?”

“You seem to.” She wasn’t going to let him off easy. Not this time.

“If you don’t want me to talk to the television people, I won’t.”

She listened to his heart beating against his chest, so strong and sure. She had always believed in Ethan. From the time she was fourteen years old he’d been her rock, her lifeline, and everything she’d loved.

Until Amanda.

She’d been running away from the answer for so long. It was time to stop and just ask the damn question.

“Tell me about Amanda.”

She felt his heart speed up.

“What do you want to know?”

She lifted her head and met his curious, wary gaze. “Why did you choose her over me? I didn’t even know you were interested in her.”

He offered up a half smile. “I wasn’t. She wanted me.”

Riley frowned. “No she didn’t.”

“Honey, she had a thing for me for years. She wanted me as much as she wanted the career you ended up with.”

She shook her head. “That’s not true. I mean, yes, she was a singer, too. A great singer. Of course that’s the career she was after.”

Riley and Amanda had met in choir freshman year. Amanda had a beautiful voice, clear and strong. Her parents had spent a fortune on private lessons. Amanda intended to go to college and study music. Fame was in her future, she’d told Riley. She wanted to front a rock band, or become a pop star.

She had the chops for it. Riley had been mesmerized by Amanda’s voice. They’d spend hours together at Amanda’s house, harmonizing on songs.

They’d become friends and had been inseparable in all things.

Except Amanda had never had a boyfriend. She said she was too busy with her singing lessons to worry about boys. But she’d never begrudged Riley’s relationship with Ethan, because Riley had always included her. She’d never shut Amanda out, had always tried to fix her up with guys so they could double date. Amanda went, though it was half hearted. Nothing ever came of those dates. Amanda never seemed intrigued enough by any of the guys to end up with a boyfriend, though she was beautiful, with mink brown hair, emerald green eyes and her captivating voice.

“She never told me she was interested in you. She never even dated anyone long term in high school. I didn’t know.”

Ethan nodded. “She didn’t want you to know. She was so jealous of you, Riley. Of your voice, your relationship with me. You had everything she wanted.”

“No. That’s not true. That’s not the Amanda I knew.”

Ethan sighed. “There were parts of her you never knew about. Hell, I didn’t even know about them until after you were gone.”

“Like what?” She couldn’t believe the things he was telling her about Amanda.

“Like her fear that you were more talented than she was, that her voice would never measure up to yours.”

“How can that be? I’d never had training, and she’d been taking voice lessons her whole life. Her singing was beautiful.”

He swept her hair away from her face. “You’ve been in the business long enough to know that all the lessons in the world can’t compete with raw ability. That’s what you had, Riley. You might not have had all the training she had, but you had natural talent, and no training can compare to that. And when it was clear your talent would outshine her, that you were destined for big things, she decided to take the one thing from you she knew she could.”

Riley almost couldn’t say the word out loud, but knew she had to know the truth. “You.”

He nodded.

“How?”

“You sure you want to know all of it?”

“Yes.” Because she refused to believe that Ethan loved her one day and just decided to switch to Amanda the next. Though she had believed it, hadn’t she? She’d spent the past ten years believing it. Maybe it was time she let Ethan tell her what really happened.

“She called me one night in tears. It was right after graduation and she said she’d been turned down for a scholarship to Julliard, the one and only place she really wanted to go.”

“But she’d gotten so many scholarships to so many different schools. She could have chosen from…what? Five or six?”

He shrugged. “I didn’t really know what she was talking about, but you know we’d all gotten close. She was always where you were, so I considered her a friend. I trusted her. I don’t remember where you were. She said she couldn’t get hold of you and there was no one else to talk to, so I went over there to give her some comfort because she was pretty freaked out. We were drinking beer, then whiskey. Her parents were gone, and you know Amanda always had a lot of freedom and access to whatever she wanted. And then we were drinking a lot. I was trying to make her feel better. It was stupid. We were talking and talking and I thought I had relaxed her by making her laugh. Hell, I was drunk as hell. Next thing I know it’s morning. I wake up in bed with Amanda naked next to me, and you’re standing there.”

“Did you have sex with her?”

He shrugged. “No. At least I don’t think I did, but maybe I did. I don’t even remember what happened that night. Does it matter? I shouldn’t have put myself in the position to be alone with her. I should have called you right away. I shouldn’t have been there drinking with her. It was stupid and I let her manipulate me, but I had to take responsibility for being there, even if nothing happened. I knew from the look in your eyes you believed what you saw.”

She had believed it. She and Amanda had plans that morning. Plans Amanda had organized. She’d walked into Amanda’s room and found the boy she loved naked in bed with her best friend.

She’d believed right away what she saw, put two and two together and figured Ethan had slept with Amanda, that Ethan had seduced her best friend. She’d assumed she hadn’t been enough for him, that he’d wanted what Amanda could offer him.

And she’d never spoken to either of them again. Hurt and rage had taken over, and she’d left town the next day without asking for explanations, without seeing Ethan again.

It had been a knee-jerk reaction, a youthful reaction.

“So she manipulated us both.”

“I guess.”

“Why did you marry her?”

“She was pregnant. And it was mine. Or so she told me.”

“You got proof?”

“She showed me the pregnancy test. I had no choice but to believe her. You said it yourself. She was never around other guys.”

Her eyes widened. “You mean she got pregnant after that night?”

“Yeah, I guess, because I didn’t sleep with her again after that.”

“So you did have sex with her.”

He laughed. “I have no idea. I don’t think I did. If I did, I sure as hell don’t remember it, but I wasn’t one hundred percent confident, so I was kind of stuck. I couldn’t deny I was in bed with her that morning.”

“What about her scholarship? Did she really lose it?”

“Doubtful. I think she was just afraid she’d never be as good as you. And she’d taken me away from you, so that was her triumph. So I married her. And then she miscarried a couple months later.”

“I’m sorry, Ethan.”

He dragged his fingers through his hair and laughed. “You know what? So was I at the time. As hurt and angry as I was with her, I was still upset when she lost the baby. I didn’t love her, but I wanted the kid.”

“You didn’t love her?”

“No. I never loved her. I did what was right and took responsibility. I screwed up and I paid the price for making a mess of my life. But I was in love with you, not her.”

Riley’s heart squeezed. She so wanted to believe that. “But you stayed married to her.”

He let out a short laugh. “Yeah. I did.”

“Why?”

He lifted his gaze to hers, the pain in his eyes so raw she wanted to run from it. “Because when I commit to someone, I honor that commitment. I said I was going to be with her until death do us part. That meant something to me.”

Riley blinked back the tears. That was Ethan. Once he had committed to her, he’d stuck by her side. Until she’d left him, hadn’t allowed him to explain what happened that night with Amanda.

“Did you ever love her?”

“I’d like to say yes. You knew her. She might have been a little spoiled, but she had her moments. She was fun and a little wild and crazy. And she could be so sweet and loving. And then we had Zoey.”

Riley smiled. “Zoey is amazing.”

“She is. I’ll always be grateful to Amanda for giving me Zoey. She’s the best part of my life. And Amanda was a wonderful mother. She seemed to settle after we had Zoey. It was almost as if she’d found what she was searching for.”

“And then she got sick.”

He nodded. “It devastated her, knowing she was going to leave Zoey behind. She felt as if that was somehow a punishment for all the lying and hurt she’d caused.”

Riley’s throat constricted. “Oh, God. That’s not fair.”

“She didn’t think it was, either. Neither did I. But we weren’t in charge. And Zoey lost her mother.”

Riley felt sick inside. “I’m so sorry, Ethan. For you, for Amanda and for Zoey.”

“I’m the one who’s sorry. There are so many things I could have done differently that night. When Amanda called, I should have called you to see what was up. I could have tried to find you to make you come over there with me. I didn’t do that. I just assumed what Amanda said, that you weren’t home. And when you ran off that morning after finding us together, I went after you. God, I spent days trying to find you.”

Riley’s heart stuttered. “You did?”

“Of course I did. I searched everywhere. I didn’t know where you went. I was crazy worried about you. But then I thought…you know what? Maybe you’re better off without me. Maybe this is for the best. I was such a fucking coward letting you go. I should have tried harder to find you.”

“Oh, Ethan, I didn’t know you came looking for me.”

He shrugged. “It wasn’t enough. I should have tried harder. But look at you now, look at what you’ve done with your life. If I had found you, you might never have all you have now. I can’t regret that for you, you know? Sometimes destiny plays a big part in things. Maybe I was supposed to screw this all up so you could become famous.”

She tilted her head. “Is that some kind of twisted logic?”

“Maybe. It’s not an excuse though. All of this is my fault. And I’ll never be able to say I’m sorry enough times to make it stop hurting you. I know that. But I’m still sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you, and for what happened with Amanda.”

She saw him in a new light. “That’s a load of heavy burdens you’re carrying.”

His lips curled. “I have wide shoulders.”

Her eyes filled with tears. “We both lost so much. Time, friends, people we loved.”

“But you can’t change the past. It is what it is and I have to live with it.”

She shuddered, realizing that no matter how much she wanted to go back, Ethan was right.

She threw her arms around him and hugged him, needing to give him comfort, and forgiveness. And maybe she needed to give herself a little comfort too for all she’d lost.

Ethan wrapped his arms around Riley while she cried, held her while she grieved for the friend she’d had and lost. He’d long ago cried all he could for losing Amanda. He might not have loved her like a husband should love his wife, but he’d been a good husband to her, a good friend, and he’d never felt guilty for still being in love with Riley after all these years, because while he’d been married to Amanda, she’d been the only woman in his life.

Their lives might not have been perfect, but he’d given her all of himself for the time they had together.

And the two of them had given Zoey the best life they could.

After Riley cried it out, he reached into the glove compartment and handed her a box of tissues. She wiped her eyes, blew her nose and tossed the coat aside. “Now I’m hot.”

He laughed. “Feeling better now?”

She nodded. “I’m sorry. I’m not usually this dramatic. You probably think I’m some Nashville diva who throws fits and storms out of houses and, oh, God.” She lifted tear-filled eyes to his. “What your family must think of me.”

“Actually, they thought I was an asshole.”

“They did? Why?”

“Because I was the one who came at you and said all the wrong things. My mother gave me the look.”

“Yikes. Not the look.”

“Yeah. I realized I’d stuck my foot in my mouth right away, but you’d already run out. By the time I ran after you, you were gone. Damn, woman, you’re fast.”

She laughed. “I run for exercise.”

“I went inside to grab my coat and that’s when I saw yours, so I got my keys and came looking for you. So no, my family isn’t mad at you, they’re mad as hell at me. Trust me, I’m in no hurry to go back there.”

She settled back against the seat only to find his arm draped back there. She was plenty warm now and he could have shifted back over to his side of the car, but he hadn’t yet.

Not that she was complaining. She felt like they’d finally gotten past the huge chasm that had stood between them for all these years, at least the one she’d put there.

She tilted her head back and looked into his eyes. God, she could get lost there. She’d spent all of the past ten years on her work, hadn’t had time for serious romance. She hadn’t taken time to look for a man in her life, because first she’d been heartbroken over Ethan, and then she’d put all her energies into building her career. There just never seemed to be light left at the end of the day for love. Writing about it, singing about it, yes. Finding it, no. And maybe she’d been afraid to fall in love, because love could hurt.

With the paparazzi dogging her every move, her life was under a microscope. She couldn’t imagine trying to have her love life scrutinized the same way her career had been. Men in her life had been brief, never anything long term.

But here in Deer Lake, time had seemed to slow down the past few days. No one followed her probably because they knew she was kind of boring. And really, what would they see? It wasn’t like she was in Los Angeles or even Nashville where the possibility of her hooking up with another country music star or even a movie or television star meant a photo op that could generate some buzz. Here there was nothing happening.

At least to the film and print media. But for Riley as she leaned against Ethan’s arm and stared into his eyes, there was plenty happening. A shift in her entire perspective had occurred within a matter of days and hours.

Now what was she supposed to think? Everything she’d believed to be true had been a lie. Old grudges had slipped away, her protective armor torn off, leaving her naked and raw and not sure what to do about feelings she’d kept buried for all these years. They’d suddenly roared to life again, but it was ten years later. Surely she couldn’t still feel the same.

Ethan didn’t feel the same. He’d lived a whole different life while she was gone. He had a child now, different responsibilities. They’d both grown up and grown apart.

But as he swept his hand across her cheek and cupped her neck, his touch sent skittering sensation throughout her body. Her skin flushed with heat.

It might not be love, but the spark was still there, and she needed to explore it. She raised her hand and brushed her fingers across the beard stubble on his jaw, shuddering at the raw desire that filled every part of her from the simple touch of her fingers to his face.

Ethan brushed his lips to hers, a tentative kiss meant to test and explore. The shock of meeting his lips curled her toes. It was an explosion from within and there was nothing tentative about her reaction. She grabbed his jacket and pulled him to her, letting him know that soft and gentle wasn’t at all what she needed. Not when she had ten years of pent-up passion to release. She tangled her fingers in his hair and pressed her lips to his, deepening the kiss, taking control and letting him know she wanted more.

Suddenly she was on her back on the seat, Ethan looming over her, all his guy parts lined up against all her girl parts and it felt so damn good to be this close to a man again.

Not just any man. Ethan. The first boy she’d loved. Only he wasn’t a boy now, evidenced by the thickness of his muscles, the wide chest and the oh-so-hard evidence of what kissing him and touching him was doing to him.

She could write a song about how good this felt, but she doubted it would ever see airtime. Instead, she concentrated on how he held her, his hand slipping underneath her to cup her butt and lift her against that omigod part of him that reminded her they weren’t kids anymore making out in the front—or back—seat of his car. This was adult stuff and she was ready to act like an adult with him. She’d been robbed of that back then because she hadn’t been ready yet, but she was sure as hell ready to consummate now.

Right now, in fact, parked along the curb in front of who-knew-whose house. Frankly, she didn’t care, because Ethan had one hand tangled in her hair and the other was rubbing her backside while his mouth was doing delicious things to hers and she was afraid she might just have an orgasm right there before any clothes got undone.

And then he vibrated.

Whoa. He was really talented, and if she shifted just a little to the left, those vibrations…

“Dammit,” he said, lifting his head. “My phone’s ringing.”

He shifted, climbing off her and for the first time in a while she felt cold.

“Seriously? Can’t you ignore it?”

He gave her a regretful smile. “It could be about Zoey. Sorry. Give me just a second. He checked the display. “Shit.”

He pressed a button and put the phone to his ear. “Hi, Mom.”

Wow. It was ten years ago.

Ethan rolled his eyes. “No, I found her. She’s fine. We’re just sitting here…talking.” While he listened, he gave her a look that sent her up in flames again. “Yeah, I’m going to bring her back shortly. Okay.”

He pressed the button and tossed the phone on the dash, then dragged his fingers through his hair. “Sorry. Kind of lost myself there for a minute.”

Riley shuddered out a sigh, realizing whatever had been about to happen, or might have happened, wasn’t going to. Not here, not tonight. “It’s okay. I did, too.”

“I’ll drive you back to my parents.”

The only good thing was, Ethan looked as frustrated and regretful as she did.

He hit the defrosters and the windshield wipers and by the time everything cleared, Riley realized how much snow had fallen already.

They took a slow drive back to the house, giving Riley a chance to fix her hair and put on some lip gloss so she didn’t look quite so…ravaged by the time Ethan pulled into the driveway. They made a mad dash to the house where Ethan’s mom was waiting with the door open.

“It’s horrible outside. I was so worried about you.” She enveloped Riley in a hug. “I already sent Brody and Wyatt home, which is where you both need to go before this gets any worse.”

“Yes, Mom,” Ethan said, with a roll of his eyes, then a laugh and a kiss.

“I’m sorry we didn’t get to spend more time together. I blame my son for that.” She glared at Ethan.

“Already discussed and apologized, Mom. Topic’s closed.”

“Okay, okay. You two get on the road.”

“I’ve driven in snow before. I have a four wheel drive, Mom.”

“And I’m still your mother and I’m going to worry. You should drive Riley back to her place.”

“I have an SUV, too, Mrs. Kent,” and at her look, corrected it to, “Stacy. I’m sure I’ll be fine, but thank you.”

“I’ll follow her,” Ethan said. “To make sure she makes it there safe.”

“That’ll make me feel better.” She hugged Riley and Ethan and they were out the door.

Snow pelted her on the face as the wind picked up. “Wow. It’s really coming down.”

“Really, do you need me to drive you back to the B and B?”

“No, it’s not that far. I can make it.”

“Okay.”

He seemed as reluctant to let her go as she was to be let go of. But since Ethan’s mother was peeking through the blinds, she opened her car door. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah. Later.”

She started the car up. She hadn’t thought about gloves because she was a moron, so gripping the icy cold steering wheel was torture, but she managed to back out of the driveway and made the trek back to the bed and breakfast. She had to admit it gave her some comfort to see Ethan’s SUV behind her the whole way. When she pulled into the parking lot and turned off the car, he waited in the street until she opened the front door and went inside. Only then did he drive off.

Leaving her aching and frustrated. And alone.

She sighed and turned off the lights.

Chapter Seven

There was a holiday celebration at town square tonight, with Christmas carolers, ice skating on the makeshift rink, a parade and, of course, Santa. It was one of Zoey’s favorite parts of the holiday, though Ethan wasn’t sure if it was because of all the events that took place at town square or because she knew that meant Christmas was only a couple days away. Either way, he loved watching the joy in her eyes. He fed off her excitement and this was the event that always got him in the mood for Christmas.

Because it had snowed, the whole town had a holiday look to it, which made everything perfect. Wreaths hung on every street light, banners and lights decorated every store front, and with the seven inches of snow they’d gotten the entire town looked like something out of a Christmas movie.

Zoey had spent the past couple days building snowmen in the yard, complete with black button eyes, tattered scarves, carrot noses and red gumdrops for the mouths. It had stayed cold enough that Mr. and Mrs. Snowpeople were still standing, which thrilled Zoey even more and thankfully had given her something to do so she hadn’t bugged him nonstop about when Christmas was.

The only drawback to this extravaganza was that Riley would be singing.

Not that there was anything wrong with her singing. It was just that he’d been kind of avoiding her since two nights ago in the car when he’d totally lost his mind and climbed all over her. Fortunately she’d been busy wrapping up all her biography stuff since then and he hadn’t run into her.

Today was supposed to be her last event, a filmed thing where she would sing a medley of Christmas songs from her last holiday CD. Everyone from town would be there, Riley would sing after the parade, and then she and her entire crew would pack up and go, along with all the media.

So really, what had been the point of refiring the past between them, except to remind him that the two of them were worlds apart and he still couldn’t have her?

He didn’t deserve to have her.

Besides, there was Zoey to think about. Her life was here in Deer Lake where his family was. Where Zoey’s family was. Riley’s life was somewhere else, probably always on the road on that big tour bus of hers.

And even though he’d driven home the long way to get his riotous libido under control that night, and he’d been thinking about Riley nonstop ever since, especially about that hot interlude in the car and how it had felt to remap her body with his hands, it was pointless.

She was going her way soon, and he was staying here.

With his daughter.

So despite wanting to call her the next day, or go over to the bed and breakfast to see her, he hadn’t. Because his life was reality, not fantasy.

And since Riley had left, the icy cold hand of reality had firmly clenched him in its grip.

“Daddy, I want to go ice skating.”

He looked down at his adorable daughter who looked like a puffy pink marshmallow in her pink coat, pink hat and pink mittens. He’d done her hair in pigtail braids this morning and she’d insisted on puffy pink bands to hold them. She even wore pink boots.

The girl liked her some pink.

“We’ll go ice skating later. The parade’s about to start. You don’t want to miss it, do you?”

Her eyes got big and wide. “Oh. No. Let’s go, Daddy.”

She tugged on his hand and dragged him toward the center island of town where the parade ended. They were lucky and found a bench to sit on, a perfect viewing area for the parade. They were joined shortly by his mom and dad and brothers.

“It’s cold as a well digger’s—”

“Brody,” his mother warned, casting her glance to Zoey.

“Shovel,” Brody finished with a tweak of Zoey’s nose.

Zoey giggled.

Wyatt shoved his hands in his pockets, turned up the collar of his coat and looked about as happy to be there as he would be if he was having a root canal.

But missing the annual town Christmas event would somehow be a direct insult to their mother, and even Wyatt wouldn’t do that, no matter how much he hated the world these days.

When you lived in a small town, parades weren’t exactly like the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade in New York City. They didn’t go on for hours. You had the cops because they could run their sirens and all the kids liked that. And the fire department, too. Then there were the middle school and high school bands, a few local clubs like Rotary and Knights of Columbus, some private organizations and businesses who put some holiday floats together, and that was pretty much it.

And then came Santa on his big float at the end, waving from on top of his makeshift chimney. Dave Bowman was doing a fine job as Santa this year, and Ethan suspected Dave’s rosy cheeks were due to the shot or two of whiskey Ethan had seen him downing at McGuffey’s Tavern prior to the start of the parade.

The Santa float was always the biggest hit with the kids, since Santa’s “elves” tossed candy. There was Tori dressed as an elf in her green stockings and short skirt, her flaming red hair a perfect compliment to the whole elf gig.

“Damn,” Brody whispered. “Her skirt is short enough that every time she bends over, you can see—”

Brody whistled instead. Tori shot him an evil glare and threw candy at his head.

“Maybe you shouldn’t look.” Ethan suggested.

“And maybe I should.” Brody unwrapped the candy, popped it in his mouth and walked away.

The parade over, the crowds milled around for a while. Zoey amused herself by playing a few games, ice skating and, of course, eating. Chairs were being set up at the town center gazebo area for Riley’s concert. The television crews were in hot turnout today, no doubt because it was the weekend and that meant people from surrounding areas would come, increasing attendance.

Great. Good for the town, Ethan supposed, but it just meant more crowds.

“Riley Jensen is going to sing today, Daddy.”

He smiled indulgently at his daughter. “I know.”

“There’s no backstage today, because she’s gonna sing on a stage that has no back.” Zoey giggled.

“So I noticed. We’ll just hang out here and listen, okay?”

“Do you think Riley Jensen will see us all the way back here? It’s kinda far.”

“I think she’ll probably be a little busy, but maybe she’ll be looking for you. You can stand on your chair and wave to her while she’s singing. But no talking, because that would be rude.”

“Okay, Daddy.”

When it looked like people were starting to claim seats, Ethan moved in with his parents and brothers. Tori had joined them, too, along with one of her friends. They made it about three quarters of the way back since it was pretty well packed in. Damn there were a lot of people here.

“Daddy, I can’t see,” Zoey whined.

His kid needed a nap. As soon as Riley finished singing, they were outta here.

“It’s the best we can do, muffin,” he said, tugging on one of her pigtails. “Sorry.”

Then his phone buzzed, an unfamiliar number.

“Hey, Ethan, it’s Joann, Riley’s publicist. Are you here at the festival?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Riley has the front row saved for you and your family if you want to watch the concert.”

“Oh. We’re already seated, kind of in the back.”

“Then come on up front. I’ll be waiting here to seat you.”

“Okay.”

He hung up and turned to his mom. “That was Riley’s publicist. She has the front row saved for us.”

“Oh, isn’t that nice,” his mom said, then herded the family up and out of their chairs and toward the front row.

Zoey, of course, was thrilled. And the view was much better up here in the front row. What he didn’t care for was having to endure knowing looks, encouraging nods and smirks from everyone as they made their way up there.

Great.

“Hey, didn’t know you and Riley were back together.” Mark Roberts patted him on the back. “Nice going, man.”

“We’re just so thrilled for you and Riley, Ethan,” Callie Roberts said.

Ethan half turned. “It’s not like that. She likes Zoey and wanted to make sure she could see. Plus she’s known my parents for a long time.”

Callie gave him a sly grin. “Sure, honey. Whatever you say.”

Ugh. Zoey was bouncing in her seat waiting for the concert to begin and telling everyone around her that she was Riley Jensen’s new best friend. Even his own mother had gotten into the act, sharing that he and Riley had “gone out” alone together the other night.

Maybe Ethan could just slip out and go home.

But then Riley and her band came out, and damn if his libido didn’t tie him to the chair, because she looked gorgeous in tight blue jeans, sinfully sexy thigh high boots, a wide-open suede jacket and a shirt that clung to her curves. She’d worn her hair down. It swept her shoulders in loose waves and all he could think about was how good she’d smelled the other night when he’d held her close and kissed her and touched her. And oh, man, he was sitting next to his mother and thinking about having sex with Riley.

He was probably going straight to hell for that.

At least this time she wasn’t singing about him. It was all Christmas songs, and Zoey couldn’t help but sing along, despite his mother’s best attempts to admonish her to stay quiet. But Riley smiled down at Zoey, since his daughter wasn’t exactly a quiet singer. Fortunately, she did have a great voice and Riley finally motioned to her to join her on stage. And since his daughter didn’t have a shy bone in her entire body, she got to stand with the choir and sing her little heart out along with Riley and the choir.

His mother took approximately ten thousand pictures. Plus video.

Ethan had to admit he was pretty excited about it, too, though it wasn’t like he thought of Riley as a celebrity. She was just Riley. But he was always thrilled to see his daughter happy, and Zoey was grinning from ear to ear, especially when one of the choir angels put her halo on Zoey head.

Zoey probably wouldn’t touch ground from her happy place for at least twenty-four hours.

After the concert, Zoey jumped into his arms. “Did you see me, Daddy? I got to sing on the stage.”

“I saw you. You were awesome.”

“Did you hear me? I sang really loud.”

He laughed as Riley joined them. “I had no problem hearing you.”

Riley rubbed Zoey’s back. “This young lady has a beautiful voice, just like her mama did.”

Zoey frowned. “Did you know my mama, Riley Jensen?”

Riley lifted her chin and Ethan could tell she fought tears. “I did. She was my best friend in high school.”

“Wow.” Zoey turned to Ethan. “I didn’t know that, Daddy. Did you know that?”

“I did.” He put Zoey down and lifted his gaze to Riley. “You did a nice job out there tonight.”

“Thanks. I’m just glad all this is over with.” She swept her gaze over the camera crews who were packing up.

“Everyone leaving?”

“They are.”

He frowned. “You’re not?”

She shrugged. “I’ve sprung my people loose. Figured I’d hang out here until after the holidays and write some music.”

“By yourself?” his mother asked.

Riley smiled. “Yes. Everyone has their families to go home to. I plan to stay and enjoy the solitude. I do my best songwriting that way. No one to hover over me and no place I have to be.”

What she hadn’t said, Ethan noted, was that Riley had no family to go home to for Christmas.

“You’ll come to our house for Christmas,” his mother said, taking the words right out of his mouth.

Riley’s eyes widened and she shook her head. “Oh, no. I couldn’t. I wasn’t trying to wrangle an invitation. I really do intend to just spend a couple weeks alone and write.”

“That’s just fine, dear. You do that. On Christmas Eve you’ll come over for dinner and games. Christmas morning we have pancakes for breakfast, turkey for dinner. You won’t be spending Christmas alone.”

Riley slanted a helpless gaze his way.

“No use arguing with her. You know how she is. If you don’t come over she’ll just send one of us to fetch you.”

She inhaled and let out a sigh, then smiled. “Of course. Thank you, Stacy. I’d love to come over for Christmas.”

Ethan wondered how many holidays Riley had spent alone the past ten years. She’d never come home before so he had no idea where she’d spent her Thanksgivings and Christmases.

It would be…interesting spending Christmas with her. And okay, maybe he was thinking about carving out some time to be alone with her.

They might not have a future together, but they had right now.

He looked down at Zoey, who leaned against his mother and yawned. “Mom, why don’t you and Dad take Zoey home? She looks tired. I’d like to hang out with Riley for a bit.”

He knew his mother would jump all over that one. “Of course. Come on, little miss. Time for bed for you.”

Ethan picked up Zoey and gave her a kiss.

“Night, Daddy.”

“Night, muffin.”

She turned sleepy eyes on Riley. “Night, Riley Jensen. I love you.”

Riley’s eyes sparkled with tears as she pulled Zoey into her arms. “Good night, Zoey. I love you, too.”

As they walked away, Riley lifted her eyes to Ethan. “She’s an amazing child. You’re very lucky.”

“Thanks. I think so.”

“And she really does have a beautiful voice. So clear and perfectly on key.”

“She gets that from Amanda because if you recall I can’t sing for shit.”

Riley laughed. “Your singing is great.” At his dubious look, she said, “Hey, at least you sing on key.”

“Okay, maybe that, but Nashville isn’t going to come calling to offer me a record deal anytime soon, so I’m grateful Zoey got her singing genes from her mom.”

“Me too.”

He looked around and realized it had gotten dark. The crowds had thinned.

“Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?” she asked.

“No.” He took her hand. “I want to take you ice skating.”

Her brows lifted and she grinned. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

“I haven’t been ice skating in years.”

“Good.”

The rink had been poured in the middle of town on one of the grassy fields behind the high school. Ethan had a hand in prepping and building it, and God knows it was plenty cold enough to sustain it. Proceeds from the sale of admissions and concessions would be split between the women’s shelter and the new field stands at the high school.

“I’m not sure I even remember how to skate,” Riley said as she finished lacing up.

“Oh come on. You never forget. You were always good at it.”

“Ha. I think it’s something you definitely forget. Plus I’m a lot older now.”

He rolled his eyes and took her hand as they headed over to the ice entrance. “You’re still plenty young and you bounce around on that stage like you’re fifteen, so don’t give me any of that ‘older now’ crap. Let’s skate.”

He rolled out onto the ice and turned to face her. She gave him an arched brow, hanging onto the entrance. “I don’t bounce.”

He laughed and held out his hand. “Yeah, you do. Like you have springs on your feet. If you don’t believe me, check out concert footage. Now come on.”

She took his hand and tentatively slid out onto the rink. She was a little wobbly at first as she fought for balance, but he held onto her, his hand around her waist. Not that he minded holding her close.

“Do you remember ice skating at the park on Friday nights?”

She grinned up at him, slipped and her eyes widened.

“I’ve got you. I won’t let you fall.”

She stared up at him and her eyes, so clear and full of trust, were like a punch to his gut.

They glided along and she finally got her balance. “Yes, I remember skating nights in the winter. You, me, Amanda—all our friends. Even on the coldest nights we’d skate, then have hot chocolate and pretzels.”

He laughed, remembering it. “You and Amanda would try to lead the whip and fail miserably.”

She pulled out of his grasp, finally confident enough to skate on her own, though she stayed close enough to grab onto his arm whenever she started to wobble. “Hey, we were good at the whip.”

“You sucked at it and made everyone crash into the wall.”

“We did not. You have a faulty memory. When you led you deliberately crashed us into the wall.”

“Now who has the faulty memory? I whipped you all around until you squealed like…girls.”

She giggled. “Those were fun times.”

Ethan turned and skated backwards, facing her.

“Show off.”

“Zoey can do it, too.”

“Oh, sure, make me feel bad.”

“We skate at the park a lot.”

She lifted her gaze to his, her hand on his arm. Did she even realize she leaned on him? Probably not.

“The rink is still open?”

“Yeah. Zoey loves to skate. She and Amanda…”

“It’s okay, Ethan. You can talk about her.”

“She and Amanda loved to skate together on the weekends.” His chest felt tight.

Riley moved to the side wall and held on. Ethan followed.

“Does it hurt you to talk about her?”

“Not really. The pain has mostly passed now. I just don’t want to hurt you.”

She shook her head. “I want to know about her, about the two of you and your life with Zoey. There’s so much I missed out on.”

He tucked an errant hair into her hat. “I think that would just be uncomfortable for you.”

She shrugged. “We can’t pretend it didn’t happen. The best thing to do is get it all out in the open and talk about it. Then there won’t be any more secrets between us.”

And then what, he wanted to ask, but didn’t.

Because there would be no “then what?” Riley was looking for closure, and nothing more. He owed her that much.

“What do you want to know?”

“Tell me about your life with Amanda.”

He shrugged. “Not much to tell. We got married. Struggled at first. We had to get jobs, work full time and I was trying to take classes, too. Then it was hard after she miscarried. There was a lot of mistrust. I didn’t believe she was pregnant in the first place and she knew it, but once she showed me proof of her pregnancy I was committed, so we worked at the marriage, day by day.”

“Did you believe the baby was yours?”

“No. I asked her for a DNA test. We were going to do the test but she had to be farther along. Then she miscarried before we could make it happen. So I’ll never know if the baby was mine or not. If there was a baby.”

“That must have been difficult for both of you. Hard to have a relationship without trust.”

“It is. But eventually she mellowed, wasn’t as high strung as she’d been when you knew her.”

Riley nodded. “A lot of that came from her parents pushing her so hard. They wanted everything for her.”

He smiled. “That didn’t stop. They were so pissed about the whole pregnancy and marriage thing, accused me of seducing her and trapping her here. They hated me.”

Riley stepped off the ice and Ethan followed. They took off their skates and turned them in. “Let’s order a pizza and head back to the B and B to continue this talk. Unless you have to be somewhere else? Do you have to pick up Zoey?”

“No. She’s fine at my mom’s. I’ll just call her and have her keep Zoey for the night.”

“Okay.”

Once they got the pizza, they went to the bed and breakfast. Since Riley had rented the place out and all her people had left, she was alone.

“Aren’t Bill and Macy here?”

“No. They’re vacationing for the holidays in Colorado with their kids. We took over the whole house from them.”

“So you’re entirely alone in this big place?”

She grinned and grabbed plates from the kitchen cabinet, then laid out slices of pizza. “All by myself. You have no idea how awesome that is. I’m never alone.”

“Huh. Never thought about that. You probably have people around you all the time.”

She dug into a slice and moaned. “You have no idea. Oh, this is good.”

“Catarina’s is a new place. Opened up about a year ago. Cat’s family is from Italy and let me tell you, every pizza they make is amazing.”

Riley looked as if she’d died and gone to heaven. She dug into the pizza as if she hadn’t eaten in a week. They each had a beer and didn’t talk much while they enjoyed their food.

“Okay,” she said as she wiped her mouth with a napkin. “So Amanda’s parents hated you because they thought you trapped their daughter into marriage.”

He took a long pull off the bottle of beer, then set it down. “Yeah. Amanda tried to tell them it wasn’t my fault, but you know how they were.”

“Yeah, I know. They weren’t fond of me, either. Thought I wasn’t the right kind of friend for their daughter.”

“They always thought they were more upper crust than they actually were. I mean this is Deer Lake, not Boston or New York. And yeah, her father came from money, but he was no industry giant, either.”

She shrugged. “Amanda was never influenced by it. A little spoiled, but she and I had always been great friends. I still can’t believe she was jealous of me.”

“She was. She had a great voice, but it could never match yours. She was envious. And when you went off and became famous, she was so jealous. She wanted your life in a way that I don’t think she ever got over.”

Riley pushed her beer aside then lifted her gaze to his. “But she had you. So which one of us was the real winner?”

Ethan stared at her. He had no words, no answer, for what she’d just said. “Riley.”

What he saw in her eyes was truth. And forgiveness, which was what he needed more than anything, but didn’t deserve.

He reached out and took her hand, swirling his thumb over the softness of her skin. In his line of work he dealt with steel and wood and only the roughest raw materials. But the raw material that was Riley was nothing short of perfection. She was silk and gloss, her skin a creamy glow. Not even the harsh fluorescent lights of the kitchen could spoil her beauty, the way her eyes caught and reflected so much of who she was. He saw such innocence there, and such strength. She’d been through so much, had forged her destiny on her own with no one backing her or pushing her to succeed.

Satin over steel.

“Ethan,” she whispered, and he saw need and desire, no longer the girl she once was, but a woman.

A woman he wanted.

He stood, pulling her into his arms, his mouth covering hers, drawing in her gasp, then her moan.

All he’d been thinking about since that night in the car was kissing her again, touching her again, feeling her body pressed against his. She slid her hands in his hair and tugged, igniting his passion like dry timber catching fire.

All the careful consideration he’d given about keeping his distance went up in a puff of smoke as soon as their lips met. They crashed together, her hands went under his shirt and the logical part of his mind went blank. All thought fled south and the thinking part of his brain settled firmly in his pants.

He wanted Riley. Hell, he’d always wanted her.

And now he was going to have her. They had the house to themselves, the night to themselves, and nothing was going to stop this now.

***

A bombardment of sensations made Riley’s breath catch. Ethan’s scent—fresh soap mingled with the crisp outdoors, the satiny steel of his chest as she held onto him for support, his groan as he kissed her. She buried her face in his chest as he pushed her up against the kitchen wall.

Oh, my. This was hard passion, a need that had gone too long without being met. Their mouths and tongues tangled while they fumbled with clothing. Boots were kicked off in a hurry and she grabbed for the button of his jeans while he reached for hers, the only sounds in the quiet house their own harsh breaths as they fought to get each other undressed.

Ethan fumbled for the buttons on her flannel shirt, then ripped them, the sound of buttons flying across the wood floor only adding fuel to her steadily rising fire. She raised his shirt over his head, taking a few seconds to marvel at the sculpted abs, the wide expanse of his shoulders and chest. That’s all he’d give her before he kissed her again, hard, shoving her back against the wall and lifting her legs. She wrapped them around him, hard meeting soft.

He ripped her panties and she delighted in the feral hunger he had for her. She tangled her fingers in his hair and tugged as he entered her, making her cry out with the sheer delight of feeling him inside her. This was what she’d wanted her whole life, what she’d needed. This connection, this fire.

Ethan.

She came almost immediately, and rode the wave while he pushed her to the edge again and again, his mouth on her lips, her throat, his tongue blazing a trail of hot sensation she could barely endure but never wanted to end. And when she climbed to the edge and fell over again, he fell with her, this time his mouth taking hers in a searing kiss that left them both shaky and breathless.

And still, he held her, the corded muscles of his arms able to take her weight as he balanced her against the wall.

When she could find her voice again, all she could manage was, “Wow.”

“Sorry. Not a finessed moment.”

She swept his hair off his brow. “It was a wow moment. It was perfect.”

He grinned, kissed her and set her down. Riley fixed them something to drink, then they gathered their clothes and went upstairs to the bedroom.

Ethan seemed comfortable wandering the house naked. Then again, why not? It was just the two of them and oh, man, he was magnificent. She could tell he worked his body hard, and he had the best ass she’d ever seen.

Riley remembered their makeout sessions used to be all hands and mouths and couldn’t get enough of each other, but they’d never made love. Maybe that’s what had hurt so much about finding him in Amanda’s bed that morning. Amanda had had him, and she hadn’t.

She forced thoughts of Amanda out of her head, refusing to let the past intrude on the present. She couldn’t go back and change what was. Now was what she was interested in, and right now Ethan was hers.

Only hers.

They climbed onto the bed together and Ethan dragged her against him.

“Let’s try to slow things down this time,” he said.

“I thought last time was pretty good.”

“It was, but I want to touch all of you this time, linger over you.”

She shuddered out a sigh when he brushed his lips across hers, then drew her in for a hungry kiss that melted her to the sheets.

As he slid his fingers up her ribcage, she was afraid she was going to slide right off the bed from the sheer pleasure of it. He pulled his lips away and she felt consumed by the raw hunger in his eyes, the need she saw reflected there.

She’d missed so much with Ethan, had hesitated all those years ago and she’d lost him. And she might not really have him now, but she was going to have him tonight, even if she didn’t tomorrow. She wanted this one night with him no matter what happened after that.

And now it was her chance to explore, too, to lay her palms over his chest and let them wander over the rock-hard steel of his abdomen. The solid, muscular feel of him was so different than when he’d been a boy. This was a man’s body, the sculpted angles and planes telling her what he did for a living.

And below his belly, she wound her fingers around him, rewarded with a slow hiss of his breath.

This was a new side to their relationship, the adult side, something they’d never had before. When she was younger she’d been tentative, innocent, not knowing what to ask for.

Now she knew exactly what she wanted.

All of him.

He rolled her onto her back and climbed on top of her, kissing the spot between her neck and shoulder that drove her crazy, before lazily mapping her body with his lips, from her collarbone to her breasts. And when he reached her breasts he took his damn sweet time, torturing her with nips and kisses and bites that had her arching her back and crying out for more.

Bastard. She loved every second of what he did to her, was damp and ready for him again in seconds. She raised her arms out for him, but he only chuckled and laid them on the bed, holding them there while he kissed her ribs, her belly, working his way between her legs, nudging them apart with his shoulders, then putting his mouth on her sex to pleasure her until her mind no longer worked, until her back bowed and she muttered unintelligible words as she cried out with a shattering climax that left her shaking all over.

And when his face came into view again, he gave her a satisfied smile, rolled her onto her side facing him and lifted her leg over his hip. He entered her and this time it was slow and achingly sweet—at least in the beginning.

She touched his face, her fingertips tracing his lips as he stroked her so gently it almost moved her to tears. Having Ethan inside her, being one with him, was what she’d always wanted. They were meant to be together like this.

Passion rose in a hurry, and soon she was scraping her nails down his arm, and he gripped her hips and drew her hard against his thrusts. It seemed there could be no light and easy between them, because they had held off for too long, and the desire they felt had to be satisfied in the most primal of ways.

She demanded, and he gave, and when they both shattered, it was wrapped around each other, bodies, mouths and souls.

They played all night long, stopping only to eat a snack in the pre dawn hours.

They went to sleep tangled together like two people who’d been apart for so long they never wanted to lose sight of each other.

Riley wondered briefly what the next day would bring, then decided she just didn’t care, because they’d had tonight, and that’s all that mattered.

Chapter Eight

Ethan spent Christmas Eve morning at the office, something that didn’t make his mother too happy.

But he needed to get a few loose ends tied up, plus he just wanted some time alone with his thoughts since for some reason his mother had let everyone know he’d spent the night with Riley. Which meant nudges and winks from Brody and smiles from his Dad. Wyatt just shook his head and called him a dumbass.

He didn’t want any of it, just some peace and quiet to think about what it all meant.

After a couple hours of mulling it over, he realized it meant nothing. Because after Christmas Riley would be going back to Nashville, where she had a life and a blockbuster career. He’d be staying in Deer Lake where he had a job, a family and a daughter to raise.

The fact he was still in love with her didn’t enter the picture of her world at all, nor should it.

He knew he should have kept his distance. In fact, it would have been better if he hadn’t seen her at all. Then all the old feelings he’d had for her wouldn’t have come rushing back.

It was payback for hurting her. Because when she left, it was going to hurt like hell and it was going to be just like ten years ago all over again. The heartbreak he’d experienced when he’d gone out searching and couldn’t find her, couldn’t explain to her what had happened. The loss, the anguish, the wish that he could find her and bring her back home.

But this wasn’t her home anymore and never would be again.

What would she do in a tiny town like Deer Lake? What did Ethan have to offer her now that she was rich and famous? She already had everything.

There was nothing he had to give her that she didn’t already have.

He dug into his paperwork and shut down the dumbass thoughts in his head.

***

Riley had spent entirely too much time primping for Christmas Eve. A ridiculous amount of time considering when she wasn’t on tour she never fussed with her appearance. She loved downtime because it meant no hairdressers or makeup artists hovering around putting false eyelashes on her and doing her hair “up to there.”

So when she had time off, it meant straight hair and no makeup. No high-heeled boots, no glitter, and absolutely nothing with sequins.

Absent the glitter, sequins and high-heeled boots, she had styled her hair and put on makeup. She’d put on her favorite pair of black jeans, a tight sweater and a pair of fancy boots.

She twirled in the mirror and thought about changing clothes, then realized she wasn’t going on a date, she was going to Ethan’s parents’ house to spend Christmas Eve with his entire family.

But her heart still fluttered with excitement when the doorbell rang.

She ran downstairs, flung the door open and saw Ethan’s smiling face.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey, yourself.”

Despite all they’d shared last night—and again this morning before he’d left—she still didn’t know where they stood.

Until he stepped inside and dragged her into his arms for a body-melting kiss that left her dizzy.

“Nice to see you too,” she said when he let her go. “I missed you today.”

“I worked for a while at the office, then had the obligatory help-the-parents-get-ready-for-Christmas Eve thing. How was your day?”

She loved that he asked as she went to grab her coat. “I did a little writing. It was a productive day.”

He helped her put her coat on and they walked outside. It was cold and the skies were dark, no sign of stars. Maybe it would snow for Christmas, which would be delightful.

“Glad it was a good day for you.”

She slid into the car and waited for him to get inside. “I don’t think it could have been anything but a perfect day after last night.”

The smile he directed at her was dazzling. And promising. “I’m glad.”

Still, they hadn’t talked about last night or what it had meant or where they’d go from here. Riley tried not to make more of it than what it was—really great sex between two people who’d known each other for a very long time.

And maybe it had seemed like more at the time—more of a soul-type connection. But she was both a woman and a songwriter, a lethal combination. Women were emotional by nature, and artists tended to throw their hearts and souls into everything they did, whereas Ethan had probably just wanted to get laid.

So she should probably stop turning last night into the holy grail of lovemaking experiences, when to Ethan it had likely just been a night of decent sex.

“You’re kind of quiet over there,” he said as they pulled into his parents’ driveway.

“Oh, just thinking of some lyrics. Hard to turn off the job sometimes.”

He laughed. “I know how that is.”

They went inside and Riley was assaulted by a three-foot whirlwind with dark hair in a ponytail. “Riley Jensen! You’re here!”

Ethan took her coat with an apologetic look and leaned in to whisper. “Sorry. You’ll get no peace tonight. She kind of adores you.”

She grinned and whispered back. “It’s okay. The feeling is mutual.”

“Miss Zoey. How are you tonight?”

“Did you know Santa is coming tonight? You have to go to bed early or he won’t come to your house. Where is your house, Riley Jensen?”

“I’m staying at the bed and breakfast over on Conner Street. Do you think Santa will be able to find me?” Riley said as she and Zoey wandered into the living room.

“Santa can always find you.”

Everyone was there already. Wyatt and his scowling face, Brody and his amused one, and Ethan’s parents, who grinned and enveloped her in a huge hug.

They had dinner, then spent the evening playing board games and cards, then watching How The Grinch Stole Christmas, both the half-hour cartoon version and the movie version because Zoey loved both. And so did Riley. She and Zoey snuggled together on the sofa, laughing at the Grinch, then feeling bad because he was misunderstood.

As Zoey scooted closer and held Riley’s hand, it occurred to her how much she’d missed out on, and how much she craved a family of her own someday.

Or now.

Family. She fell into it and welcomed it for as long as she had it.

This wasn’t her family. Zoey wasn’t her daughter, and Ethan wasn’t hers to keep. After Christmas she had to head back to Nashville, and Ethan and Zoey’s lives were here.

She couldn’t have everything.

***

There were no television cameras, no photographers, and as Ethan watched Riley snuggled up on the sofa with his daughter, his heart clenched. Riley had scooped her hair up into a ponytail, kicked off her boots and thrown a blanket over her and Zoey, both of them yawning as they watched television.

She’d wriggled into his family as if she belonged there, as if she’d never left. She threw Brody’s zingers right back at him, ignored Wyatt’s bad moods, and helped out with cooking and serving dinner and then the dishes, never once acting as if she were a superstar or a diva.

And then she’d sat on the floor cross-legged and played with his daughter. For hours. Not out of any sense of obligation, but as if she’d truly enjoyed playing with a seven-year-old. They’d done puzzles, sang together, read together, played dolls and even make-believe fairies. Riley hadn’t once acted as if it were a chore to play with his kid. She’d seemed to be having a great time with Zoey.

Now they curled up together on the sofa watching a movie. Riley stroked Zoey’s hair as his daughter’s eyes drifted closed, and so did Riley’s. They looked comfortable together, right together, as if they belonged to each other.

Shit.

He was making something out of nothing. Riley was being polite, was being herself. And Zoey had a monster case of hero worship. Though she didn’t take to women all that well. Ethan had tried dating a few times, had included Zoey once or twice, and while Zoey was friendly, she didn’t have mad love for the women like she did with Riley. And despite Riley’s star status, he didn’t think Zoey would be snuggled up against her like this if she didn’t have feelings for her, considering Zoey’s bullshit meter and all, which was outstanding. The kid just knew whether someone genuinely cared or not.

Which was just making the fact Riley would leave them both even harder. He should separate them before his daughter got hurt. He could handle it. Zoey wouldn’t understand it.

Coward that he was, he went into the kitchen and grabbed a cup of coffee, and found his mother pulling down plates from the cabinet.

“Let me help you.”

He reached the top cabinet and pulled the plates down.

“Thank you. And why aren’t you in there watching television with Riley and Zoey?”

“They’re both asleep. Or almost asleep.”

“Aww, how sweet. Zoey really likes her.”

“Too much, I think.”

His mother frowned. “What does that mean?”

“It means when Riley leaves town it’s going to hurt her. I need to put a stop to the two of them getting any closer.”

She put her hands on her hips. “Don’t you dare, Ethan Kent. I never thought of you as a coward before.”

He backed up a step. “What do you expect me to do, Mom? Riley will be leaving after the holidays. And by then Zoey will think she can keep her.”

“Oh, I see.” She pushed the plates to the side and pulled out a chair, then pointed to another. Ethan sat. “We’re not really talking about Zoey now, are we?”

“Yes, we are.”

“Okay, we’re not talking only about Zoey. You’re afraid for your own heart, too.”

He shrugged. “I’m a big boy. I can take it. She’s just a kid. She won’t understand.”

“You still love her.”

“I’ve always loved her. I never stopped.”

She laid her hand over his. “It’s okay to feel that way. Have you told Riley how you feel?”

“What good would that do? She still has to leave.”

“But you never told her before. Maybe it’s time you do. Maybe it’ll make a difference.”

He laughed. “No, it won’t.”

“See, that’s always been your problem, Ethan.”

“What’s my problem?”

“Guilt. It’s been your best friend for so long you don’t know how to live without it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t you? First it was guilt over the whole Amanda thing. It kept you from seriously trying to find Riley. Then it was Amanda’s pregnancy, so you ended up staying married to her when maybe you shouldn’t have.”

“If I hadn’t stayed married to Amanda, I wouldn’t have Zoey.”

“That’s true, and we’re all grateful for Zoey. But what about what you want, Ethan?”

“I have everything I want.”

“No, you don’t, and you’re once again going to let guilt decide for you. You feel guilty for letting Riley down. You’re still feeling guilty about it, and it’ll keep you from thinking you’re good enough to ask her to stay.”

“It’s not the same thing at all this time, Mom.”

“Isn’t it? You’re going to let her go without letting her know how you feel. To me it’s the same thing.”

“I need to take her home.”

His mother nodded, then stood and came over to him, wrapped his face in her hands. “I have faith in you, Ethan. I think it’s time you had faith in yourself and what you have to offer.”

“I can’t compete with what she already has.”

Her eyes twinkled as she smiled. “Can’t you?”

She kissed his cheek and let him go.

When he walked in to the living room, his heart turned over at the sight of Riley’s head lying on top of Zoey’s, both of them sound asleep.

And then he thought about what his mother said.

Riley was going to spend the holidays alone. She had no family. How many Thanksgivings and Christmases did she do that? What must that be like for her, to send her crew home to their families, then go home to an empty house for the holidays?

Ethan had his mother, father, brothers, and he had Zoey. He was wrapped up in the warmth and love of family surrounding him, not just at the holidays, but every single day of his life.

As he looked down at Riley and Zoey huddled together, he realized maybe there was something he had to offer.

But would Riley even want that? Maybe she was content with the life she’d created for herself.

He swept his daughter up and took her upstairs to the bedroom where she slept at his mom’s. They were going to have Christmas over here in the morning, so she’d spend the night here anyway. He tucked her in, kissed her forehead and swept her hair away from her face.

“I love you, Zoey,” he whispered, then turned out the light. She pulled her snuggly bear close to her and he smiled, then closed the door partway.

One beautiful girl down, one to go.

Riley was still out, so he slid on the sofa next to her. “Hey, Sleeping Beauty.”

She moaned, then turned on her side.

“Time to wake up.”

“Don’t wanna.”

He laughed, then nuzzled her neck with a kiss. “You want to sleep on the couch tonight? You might get a peek at Santa. Or is it the cookies and milk you’re after?”

She giggled. “You’ve spoiled my master plan.” She turned over and tunneled her fingers into his hair, pressing her lips against his.

“If you’re going to start something, we should head to your place.”

“Why?”

“Because we’re at my parents and my mom is in the kitchen.”

“Oh. Good point. Okay.” She pushed off his chest, yawned and stretched.

With her hair half sticking out of her ponytail and a sleepy look on her face, she was devastating to his senses.

She stumbled into her boots, went into the kitchen to say good-night to his mother, and they climbed into their coats. But instead of heading over to the B and B, he took her to his house.

She turned to look at him when he pulled into the driveway.

“I wanted you to see my place.”

She smiled. “I’d love to.”

“It’s nothing fancy. Nothing like your house in Nashville.”

She reached for his hand. “Ethan. Don’t compare Nashville and here. It’s never about money. It’s about home and what makes you happy.”

She opened the car door and stepped out, staring at the house. “I wish it was daylight. Did you build the house?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s lovely. I’m sure Amanda loved it.”

“This isn’t the house where Amanda and I lived.”

She turned to him, frowning. “It’s not?”

“No. After she died I wanted a fresh start, didn’t want those memories clouding mine and Zoey’s life. Plus the house we had was tiny. So I built this place.”

He tried to imagine what Riley would think of it. It wasn’t oversized. It was a two story, gray and white, with a nice-sized back yard.

“I love all the trees. And the porch. I love porches.”

He opened the front door and turned the lights on, let Riley walk in.

“Oh, Ethan, this is nice. The marble tile is beautiful.”

“Being in construction has its advantages. I get a lot of stuff at cost, or not much markup. So I got to upgrade a lot.”

She was already steps ahead of him. “This kitchen is magnificent! Double oven, granite counters. Ethan, I can’t believe you built this. It’s every woman’s dream.”

He smiled at that. “Glad you think so. My mom had some input into what she called a woman’s dream kitchen.”

Riley turned around and leaned against the counter, folded her arms. “She was right. The island, the pots and pans hanging over it, the sink in the island, the sub-zero freezer. Everything you could want in a kitchen is in here.”

He couldn’t help but feel pride at the work he’d done on the place. “It’s big enough for more than me and Zoey, and the yard is huge.” He clicked on the back porch light. “Zoey wants a dog. I’ve waited until she’s old enough to be responsible.”

“Oh, the yard is huge. I love the playset. And yes, it’s perfect for a dog or two. I love animals, always wished I could have some.”

He looked at her. “I remember.”

“I used to love playing with Jack, your lab.”

“Yeah, he died a few years ago.”

Her smile vanished. “I’m sorry. That must have been so hard on everyone.”

“He was an old dog, and he lived a great life. We buried him in my parents’ backyard by the big oak tree.”

“Jack would have liked that. He loved sleeping under that tree.”

He took her hand and showed her the living room with its oversized couches and chairs and the giant television.

“Definitely a man’s room,” she teased.

“Hey, Zoey likes to watch Disney in here.”

She snorted.

He led her upstairs. “Only two of the bedrooms are in use. Oh, and there’s a full bath and another bedroom or possible office downstairs. Haven’t decided yet.”

“So five bedrooms, three bathrooms?”

“Yeah.”

She stopped in the hallway. “You planning on a couple more kids, maybe?”

“I don’t want Zoey to be an only child, so yeah, I’d like to have more kids someday.”

Something flickered in her eyes. “That would be nice. Zoey would be a great big sister.”

“This is Zoey’s room.” He opened the door and turned on the light.

Riley laughed. “Somehow I knew it would be pink. Very, very pink. I love her bed. Did you build that yourself?”

“I did.”

She put her arm around him. “It’s beautiful, Ethan. Every little girl dreams of a canopy bed, with a pink tulle canopy and fairy sparkles on the ceiling.”

“Zoey loves her room, and thanks.”

She stepped in and took a look at the Noah’s Ark of wooden carved animals on Zoey’s dresser. “These are amazing. Where did you get these?”

“I made them.”

She swiveled, her mouth agape. “You carved these?”

“Yeah. I started when she was a baby, before she was born. I made the Ark first, then started on the animal pairs. I add to them every birthday.”

“Oh, Ethan. They’re gorgeous. The intricate workmanship in each piece and the level of detail.” She ran her finger over the elephant’s trunk. “I hope Zoey treasures them. What a wonderful gift from father to daughter.”

He felt his cheeks burn hot, but admittedly enjoyed the praise. “Thank you.”

She lingered at the Ark exhibit for a while, then stepped out of the room.

He led her down the hall to his room. “It’s kind of sparse. Just a giant bed and a dresser.”

She turned to him and smiled. “How utterly perfect.”

“Tired?” he asked as he helped her remove her coat.

“I didn’t think I was. I think little girls who snuggle against you have some kind of sleeping dust attached to them.”

“Yeah, she does it to me, too. It’s the cuddle factor.”

“Lethal. I was out before I knew what hit me.” She held out her hand and he followed her to the bed.

“We didn’t get much sleep last night,” he reminded her.

Her lips quirked. “Guess what? We aren’t going to get much tonight, either.”

He pulled her against him, knowing he’d never tire of the feel of her curves pressed to his. “Who needs sleep?”

He took his time undressing her, the frenzy of last night somewhat satisfied. Plus, there was something about taking a woman’s clothes off, piece by piece, like unwrapping a gift without tearing the paper.

He lifted her sweater over her head, had her sit on the bed and slipped her boots off, then her socks, before gently pushing her to the bed so he could pull off her pants. When he spied the golden silk and lace panties that matched the bra, he arched a brow.

“Prepared yourself tonight?”

“I wasn’t ready for you last night. I am tonight.”

“These look expensive,” he said, tracing his fingers around the tiny bows at her hips, then snaking his finger up her belly to the matching bow between her breasts. “I’ll try not to rip them.”

He felt the pounding of her heart beneath his fingers.

“Oh, I don’t mind. I have plenty of lingerie.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah.”

It made him wonder why. He wanted to ask, but it wasn’t his business.

“Not that any man’s seen my underwear for a very long time,” she said in answer to his unspoken question. “I just have a thing for lingerie.”

His lips lifted. “No woman’s seen mine for a long time either. But the only lingerie I have a thing for is yours.”

She sat up and reached for the button of his jeans. “How disappointing. And I was so hoping?”

“Does Calvin count?”

She waited while he kicked his boots off, then drew his zipper down, her gaze meeting his as she shoved his jeans to the floor. “Calvin definitely counts.”

When she helped him divest himself of his Calvins, he pulled his shirt off and climbed onto the bed, way more interested in what she was wearing. He smoothed his hands over the hills and valleys of her bra, paying attention to her breathing, the way her eyes went all glassy when her nipples peaked and hardened. He swept his fingers over the cups, seeing the buds of her nipples arching against the silk.

Leaning over her, he took a taste of her through her bra.

“Ethan,” she said, her voice soft and buttery as she slid her fingers into his hair. He drew the cups down to taste her, teasing her with his tongue and his mouth until she arched her hips against him, letting him know she was ready for more.

Pleasuring her was so easy because she was so responsive with her body, and he loved touching her. He moved down her body and slid his hands over the silken softness of her panties, rewarded with a rush of unintelligible words from her lips. Ethan was pretty sure they were all good words as he slid his hand inside her panties and took her to the edge, watching her face as she came apart for him, shuddering out a cry that held his name.

She was undoing him with every minute he spent with her. When she took off her bra and panties and climbed on top of him, taking control, he might have died a little.

And when she leaned over, her breasts sliding against his chest as she took his mouth and claimed him at the same time she took possession of him with her body, he knew for sure she was his, always had been and always would be. And neither time nor distance had ever changed that or ever would.

She held his hands and rocked against him, and he couldn’t remember ever being with a woman who surprised him, challenged him, or made him question his priorities more.

And when they came together, both of them holding tight to each other in the darkness of night, he knew then that no matter what, he was never going to let her go.

Because for the first time in his life he wondered just what he’d be wiling to give up to have Riley in his life forever.

After, they held each other in the dark, both of them quiet for awhile.

“Ethan?” she finally whispered.

“Yeah.”

“This time we’ve had together has been really amazing.”

“Yeah, it has.” His gut tightened. This might be an “It’s been great, but” kind of speech.

“I wish it could last forever.”

“Me too, Riley.”

He waited, but she didn’t say anything else, making him wonder if she hesitated because she didn’t want to hurt him, or if she was waiting for him to make the next move.

Hell, he’d never been very good at figuring out what women thought, or what they wanted.

It took awhile before he realized she’d fallen asleep.

While she slept, he got up and wandered the house, wondering how he was going to approach this, how he’d ever ask her to stay with him.

Hour after hour he walked from room to room, realizing he’d be asking her to make all the sacrifices. He’d be giving up nothing, and she’d have to give up everything, or at least make a hell of a lot of adjustments in her life.

Great for him. Not so great for her.

Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. Maybe the best thing he could do for her was let her go, instead of presenting her with a no-win scenario, because it was his only option, which meant what he had to offer her was really nothing special.

Really, nothing at all.

Chapter Nine

Ethan woke Riley early the next morning. Like, before dawn kind of early. He said he had to get over to his parents to be there before Zoey woke so they could do the whole gifts and Santa thing. He wanted to take her with him, but Riley thought it would be best if he had Christmas morning alone with his daughter.

Plus, there was something she had to do, so she told him she was going to go back to the B and B, take a shower and change clothes, and then she’d drive over to his parents.

She’d read his hesitancy last night, and at first she was hurt. She’d been hoping for some kind of declaration from him. She thought she knew how he felt, knew for sure how she felt, and was determined not to be the first to say something.

But she realized she held the upper hand now, that the situation wasn’t at all the same now as it had been ten years ago.

He wasn’t going to ask her to stay. Not now, not when he knew she had so much at stake.

Silly men and their egos. Didn’t he realize she was in love with him?

And love always trumped everything, especially money and career. At least it did with her. And when you were in love, the rest of it could be worked out.

Not that she had any intention of walking away from her career. She wasn’t stupid.

But she had an idea, so when Ethan dropped her off, she ran upstairs and took a shower and dressed, then grabbed her guitar and got to work. It took a few hours, but she finally had everything figured out. She’d already been working on it for days, she realized.

She loaded the gifts she’d bought into the car and drove over to Ethan’s parents’ house. Brody opened the door and grabbed her, planting a short but deep kiss on her lips.

“Merry Christmas, Riley!” he said, clearly already deep into the rum punch.

She laughed. “Merry Christmas, Brody.”

He carried the gifts into the house for her while she greeted everyone. Zoey ran up and hugged her, waved some kind of fancily dressed doll in front of her face, then dashed off to play with all her new “stuff” as she called it, but extracted a promise from Riley that she’d come see all her presents as soon as she got settled and said hello.

“Coffee, hot chocolate, or rum punch?” Ethan’s mother asked.

“Actually, a cup of coffee sounds great, thanks.”

“With or without brandy or whiskey in it?” Ethan’s dad asked as he came up and hugged her.

“Oh, now you’re tempting me. How about a little brandy?”

“There’s a girl after my own heart.”

“There’s a girl who’ll be face down on the floor before lunch,” Ethan said. “Merry Christmas, Riley.” He pulled her into his arms and planted what Riley considered to be one seriously hot kiss on her lips. In front of his parents, and his brothers.

“Daddy, you kissed Riley.”

And his daughter.

He broke the kiss and grinned at his daughter. “I did. Is that okay?”

Zoey nodded. “Yup. Will you come take my game out of the package?”

“Sure, honey.” He shifted his gaze to Riley. “Sorry, Dad duty calls. Back in a sec.”

Apparently, Zoey was utterly unfazed about the kiss between her and Ethan. One hurdle down. And as she surveyed his parents and his brother, Wyatt just shrugged, Ethan’s mother beamed a smile, and his father grinned from ear to ear as he poured what Riley considered a face-down-on-the-floor-before-lunch dose of brandy into her coffee.

“You trying to get me drunk, Mr. Kent?”

He laughed and smacked her on the back. “Nah. Figured you’re a tough girl and you can take it. Drink up, it’ll put hair on your chest.”

“Now there’s an unattractive visual,” Wyatt grumbled, taking the bottle of whiskey and pouring it straight into the glass with a couple ice cubes.

“Too early for that, Wyatt,” his mother warned.

Wyatt kissed Mrs. Kent on the cheek. “I’m here. Isn’t that enough?”

“I suppose, but that’s all the whiskey you get today. Switch off to coffee after that.”

Wyatt nodded, but Riley caught the roll of his eyes as he walked away.

“He’s had it rough the past couple years,” she explained to Riley after he walked out. “But I sure wish he’d get over Cassandra, stop with the bitterness and move on with his life.”

“With some people it takes awhile.”

“You talking about yourself?”

Riley laughed. “I guess so. I carried a grudge for a long time.”

“But now you’re over it.”

“I did it all wrong, Mrs. Kent. Stacy. I wish I had known then what I know now. I would have done things differently.”

Ethan’s mother held up her hands. “No way to change the past or predict the future.”

“I made a mistake in running. I should have stood my ground and fought for Ethan.”

She smiled. “I’m glad to hear you say that. Did you tell him that?”

“Not exactly.”

Mrs. Kent rolled her eyes. “Hell’s bells. What is it with you kids not telling each other how you feel? You’re talking to the wrong person. Go. Go tell my son you love him.”

Riley smiled. “I will. Sometime today. I promise.”

She gave Ethan’s mother a quick hug, then wandered out to find Ethan. He was on the floor with Zoey, who was playing a handheld game while Ethan frowned over instructions.

“It says to reach Level two—”

“I’m already on Level four, Daddy,” Zoey said, not looking up from her game.

“Oh.” Ethan tossed the instructions in the pile of trash.

Riley laughed. “Technology is for children, you know.” She sat down on the floor on the other side of Zoey.

“So I’m beginning to understand.”

Riley watched Zoey play the game for a while, then Zoey handed it over to Riley to play.

She figured it out after a few rather embarrassing tries and Zoey showing her how it was done. Then she realized she wanted one of these handheld game devices, especially when Ethan showed her the catalog of software that went with it.

“It has cooking recipes. It tells you step-by-step instructions while you’re cooking. And here I thought it was a kid’s device.”

“It’s multifunctional for all ages,” Zoey said.

Riley looked at Ethan, then at Zoey. “How old are you again, kid?”

“Seven.”

“Are you sure? You’re awfully smart for seven.”

Zoey giggled. “That’s what my daddy says, too.”

Riley excused herself to help Mrs. Kent set the table for lunch. They ate an abundance of turkey and dressing with more side dishes than Riley could count. It was the best holiday home-cooked meal she’d had in ages. After they cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher, it was time to sit in the living room and Riley handed out the gifts she’d bought for everyone.

She’d bought Wyatt and Brody new coats, thick down ones that would be great for the job site. She gave Mr. and Mrs. Kent a new television because they’d been complaining their old one was about to give up the ghost. She gave Zoey a guitar and the little girl’s eyes widened. Then she squealed.

“Really?”

“You’re old enough, but you’ll have to take lessons.”

“I’ll practice every day. I want to play like you do.”

“You have a beautiful voice, Zoey. But you only have to play guitar if that’s what you want to do. Otherwise it can just sit in your room and you can look at it and think of me.”

She grinned. “Cool.”

“Now I have a gift for you,” Ethan said, interrupting her. “It’s not as nice as the gifts you gave my family, but I’ve been working on it for the past ten years.”

She tilted her head to the side. “You have?”

“Yeah. You seeing Zoey’s room last night reminded me, so I finished it today.”

He handed her a box. She opened it and inside was a carving much like the ones of Zoey’s Noah’s Ark animals. Only it was a woman sitting on a stool with a guitar.

“It looks just like you, Riley, when you’re singing and playing your guitar,” Zoey said.

Riley’s eyes filled with tears. She lifted her gaze to Ethan. “It does. Thank you. Thank you so much. It’s the best gift ever.”

Ethan leaned over and brushed his lips over hers. “I love you, Riley. I always have. I always will. I don’t have much to offer, but what I have is yours. A home. A family. My family. My love. Forever. I want you with me. I want you to be a part of my life.”

Her heart swelled and soared. The words she needed to hear made joy spring from every pore, from every fiber of her body.

She sniffed, fighting back the tears. “I have a gift for you as well, Ethan.”

She went to get her guitar. “I thought about what it meant to come back here again. To come back and see you again. But now I realize that seeing you was what I needed, and what I wanted the most. And also what I was most afraid of.

“I ran once, but I want you to know I’m never running again, no matter how hard it gets. I love you, Ethan.”

She started the song, the music perfectly clear in her head, soft melody, heart-filled strains of love pouring from her guitar as she sang only to the man she loved. A slow, sweet melody, a pouring out of her heart, her very soul, for Ethan.

“The swing out back where we’d talk for hours

You’d smile, I’d blush, the world was ours

Back then I didn’t know all I had

I threw it all away when it all went black

Girlish dreams are glitter and polish

Up in smoke without a backwards glance

You gave me your heart then you let me go

I thought you didn’t care. I didn’t know

You set me free to give me a chance

I took my heart with me and never looked back

I hurt you then because I didn’t see

What it was you did for me

I was blind and foolish on my own

The lights were bright, it was all for show

Lonely nights, years on the road

It’s not enough anymore. I want to come home.

The world’s a big place with so much to see

I’ve learned a lot, I soared and was free

But the tie still remains, drawing me here

And now I stand next to you without fear

The soul knows who lights the flame

Of love and desire, I know his name

I don’t want to run, I don’t want to roam

I want to come home, I want to come home

My wandering ends but our journey begins

All it takes is for you to let me in

Open the door and give me your love

I want to come home, I want to come home

To you.”

The room fell silent, and Mrs. Kent cleared her throat.

“That was lovely, Riley. Now the rest of you can come help me in the kitchen.”

“But Grandma, I want to hear Riley sing some more.”

“Later, Zoey. Riley and your daddy have some talking to do.”

“Riley, do you love my daddy?”

Riley turned a tear-filled gaze to Zoey. “Yes, Zoey, I do love your daddy.”

Zoey grinned. “I thought so. That’s pretty cool, because he loves you, too, don’t you, Daddy?”

Riley turned back to Ethan to see him nodding at his daughter. “Yes, muffin, I do love Riley.”

“That’s so cool. My daddy loves Riley Jensen.”

Riley laughed through her tears.

After everyone left, Ethan came over to her, took her guitar, and laid it against the sofa. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her, a deep kiss filled with all the love she’d always wanted but was afraid she’d never have.

And when he broke the kiss, he said, “I was afraid to ask you to stay. I couldn’t ask it of you.”

“I’ll have to travel. I was afraid to ask that sacrifice of you. I love my career.”

“I’d never make you give it up. Zoey and I can travel with you in the summers.”

“You’d do that?”

“I’d do anything for you.”

She smiled, then laughed, put her hands around his neck. “Anything?”

“Yes.”

“Will you give me babies to fill that huge house of yours?”

He arched a brow. “How soon do you want them?”

“Really soon.”

“Then I guess I’d better put a ring on your finger and marry you. Really soon.”

“I love you, Ethan.”

“I love you, too, Riley.”

As Ethan kissed her, and then as her family—because they were all her family now—crowded in to offer congratulations, she realized she’d been given all she wanted for Christmas. The man she loved, a beautiful daughter, a family who would always be hers, and love.

The best gift of all was always love.

About the Author

New York Times bestselling author Jaci Burton lives in Oklahoma and spends a fair amount of time on the back of her husband’s Harley, where she often gets lost plotting her next story as the warm (and sometimes cold) breeze whips her face. She loves reality television, is a sucker for romantic comedies, and completely loses track of time when reading a great book. She’s a total romantic and longs for the happily ever after in every story, which you’ll find in all her books.

Jaci has won the RT Book Reviews Reviewer’s Choice Award and has been a finalist in the National Readers’ Choice Awards and Bookseller’s Best Awards. She writes contemporary romance, erotic romance and romantic suspense, writing in the genres she loves to read.

You can find Jaci on the web at www.jaciburton.com, on Twitter at www.twitter.com/jaciburton and on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/jaci.burton.

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ISBN: 978-1-4268-9087-1

Copyright © 2010 by Jaci Burton

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Table of Contents

Copyright

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

About the Author