REACTIONS AND RESPONSES

Everyone is conditioned by response. If you tell someone to do something and he won’t do it, that is not good for you. If you tell a chair to do something, it cannot do it, but it cannot refuse, so you have not had a negative response.

You only need so many “No’s” before you will stop looking for “Yes’s”.

A well-known cure for depression is, when you wake up in the morning, greet the walls cheerfully. It is not what you say, it is how you say it that matters. At first, imagine a response from the walls, but there must be a stage when you do not need it any more.

You must avoid being affected by other peoples responses. Their opinions cannot do you any harm. If someone calls you a coward, or a fool, or a fraud, or any other insult, do not react. Why should you let them have power over you? And you are giving them that power if you allow them to affect.

It is not enough to show no reaction at the time the insult is proffered. You must not brood on it afterwards. You must not plan retaliation. This may sound like the Christian teaching of “turn the other cheek”, but, as has been said before, adapt anything from any system of belief if it is useful. Very few Christians understand the real reason for the advice not to strike back. By striking back, you are giving your attacker power over you, power to force you to behave as he wants or expects you to behave. This does not, of course, refer to a situation when it is necessary physically to defend yourself. In such circumstances, the priority is preserving your life or health. However, in such a case, you should have been aware of the impending danger so that you were able to circumvent it or, at least, to strike first; see “Physinomes” in DL issue 1.

If someone dislikes you, that must not disturb or alter your intentions. Equally important, and sometimes even more difficult, another person’s liking for you must not cause you to deviate from your aims.

By reacting to other people, you are allowing them to manipulate you (whether or not they are aware of this). Do not react. Stand clear and observe. By remaining emotionally uninvolved, you can assess the situation more clearly and, if necessary, control it.

Anonymous article taken from the Dark Lily Journal No 3, Society of Dark Lily (London 1987).