6 - The Pure Light

There is one aspect of the near-death experience that neuroscience hasn't been able to account for—the Light. Nearly every near-death experience of children (and about one fourth of those of adults) has in it an element of light. They all report that the Light appears at the final stages of the NDE, after they have had an out-of-body experience or have traveled up the tunnel.

Those who experience the Light say that it is more than just light. There is substance to it that "wraps" them in a warmth and caring that they have never before felt. For some the voice of God comes from the Light. Seeing the Light results in an incredible change in attitude that effects many of them for the rest of their lives.

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Grown men may learn from little children, for the hearts of little children are pure, and, therefore, the Great Spirit may show to them many things which older people miss.

Black Elk,
Native American Spiritual Leader

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Where the rest of the experience is extraordinary, the Light makes it mystical. It is the "truth" of the near-death experience.

Describing the Light is difficult. Most of the patients I have spoken to describe it essentially as a pure light of unconditional love. Others call it "all-knowing," "all-forgiving," and "all-loving." One patient, twenty years after seeing the Light at age five, told me, "I will never forget that Light. It is with me all the time." Another patient who had an NDE as a child said to me: "Others have seen God, but I only saw a Light, a Light that I will never forget."

There is one particular anecdote that vividly illustrates the nature of this light and the power it has to alter people's lives. This story comes from a woman named Terry. As a child she accidentally ate several painkillers and nearly died. While lying in a coma, she left her body and traveled down a tunnel. She said it was as though water were in the tunnel, and she was making her way through this mystical river in a small boat.

The water was dark, but she was unafraid. Suddenly, she turned onto another branch of the river and passed under a glowing arch that led to a light "so beautiful that it couldn't be called just a light. It represented love and peace and happiness and complete and utter joy."

The Light was misty like a "glowing cloud." From inside it, she heard a voice that she perceived to be that of God. "I felt completely at peace and at one with it," she now says.

Although the Light had the feeling of unconditional love, "a feeling I was perfectly at home with," she knew that she could go no farther into it and still return to her earthly body.

That was when she decided to return.

Terry's voice broke with emotion as she shared the most baffling part of the experience. "When I came out of the coma in the hospital, I opened my eyes and saw pieces of the Light everywhere. I could see how everything in the world fits together."

The Unexplained

The Light is the one element of the near-death experience that brain researchers can't even come close to explaining. The testimony of children is clear on this point: The Light is the key element of the NDE.

How can we scientifically explain this light after death? I do not know of any biochemical or psychological explanation for why we would experience a bright light as the final stage of bodily death.

The rigidly reductionistic among us could explain NDEs in the following manner: A person is faced with a life-threatening event. He or she leaves the physical body and watches what is happening in a detached and depersonalized matter. This has many useful functions in that a person does not feel pain or panic and can even deny that his/her life is being threatened with death. As we know from the works of Wilder Penfield discussed in the previous chapter, this can sometimes be explained as the right temporal lobe being stimulated by a lack of oxygen.

Then there is a life review, seeing lights and people, hearing noises, having feelings of great joy and peace and seeing heavenly places. Surely, the skeptics say, these are simple psychological events that can be explained by examining the brain's organic processes.

As the brain begins its final dying process, there is a collapse of the visual fields and tunnel vision results. The eyes are no longer seeing, and the brain can no longer interpret what it sees. The tunnel becomes dark and the organism dies. This is possibly explained by some recent research as being an interruption of blood flow in the posterior cerebral artery, which feeds blood to the area of our brain responsible for sight.

And then—there's light! Where does this light come from? The brain has nearly stopped functioning. The psychological processes I've just described took place in a few minutes (although they seemed longer to the beholder), and now all mental functions have ceased. One would assume that the bodily functions would simply cease, that there would be eternal darkness.

Then why the Light?

I feel that I have done as much as anyone to outline the known neurological processes that can explain near-death experiences. Although many of the NDE elements can be explained by our knowledge of the way the brain works, the one that remains a true mystery is the experience of light.

Whereas most of the traits of the NDE can be precisely located in the anatomy of the brain, there is no explanation for what happens when the seat of consciousness travels through the tunnel and enters the Light. Like the birth of a child, it is the end product of an anatomical process that involves a voyage down a tunnel toward a world of color and brightness.

Rebirth At Death

Perhaps this light somehow represents a birth into a spiritual realm. After all, many of the anecdotes from children seem to indicate such a possibility.

A study done by Nancy Evans Bush contains stories that link the Light with rebirth. Here are some of the accounts from the mouths of the children from the International Association for Near-Death Studies (IANDS) in Connecticut. IANDS was founded in 1977 by Dr. Raymond Moody, Dr. Bruce Greyson, Dr. Michael Sabom, and Dr. Kenneth Ring. The purpose of the association is to bring an interdisciplinary approach to the near-death research. It now has hundreds of chapters worldwide.

Bush based her report on accounts in the archives of IANDS that were reviewed for obvious psychosis or delusions by Dr. Greyson, who is chief of psychiatry at the University of Connecticut.

In one of these accounts, a four-year-old girl, using a flashlight to go down the cellar stairs, stepped off the edge of the wrong side of the landing and fell to the cement floor far below. At a later age, she described what happened to her:

"The next thing I was aware of was being up near the ceiling over the foot of the stairs. The light was dim and at first I saw nothing unusual. Then I saw myself lying, facedown, on the cement, over to the side of the stairway. I was a little surprised, but not at all upset at seeing myself that way. I watched and saw that I didn't move at all. After a while, I said to myself, I guess I'm dead.' But I felt good! Better than I ever had. I realized I probably wouldn't be going back to my mother, but I wasn't afraid at all ....

"I noticed the dim light growing slowly brighter. The source of light was not in the basement, but far behind and slightly above me. I looked over my shoulder into the most beautiful light imaginable. It seemed to be at the end of a long tunnel which was gradually getting brighter and brighter as more and more of the Light entered it. It was yellow-white and brilliant, but not painful to look at even directly. As I turned to face the Light with my full 'body,' I felt happier than I ever had before or have since.

"Then the Light was gone. I felt groggy and sick, with a terrible headache. I only wanted my mother, and to stop my head from hurting."

"The Energy Of The Universe"

Another story collected by IANDS comes from a fourteen-year-old boy who was rescued from a car that was swept from a bridge by raging flood-waters. This is how he wrote about the incident several years later.

"I knew I was either dead or going to die. But then something happened. It was so immense, so powerful, that I gave up on my life to see what it was. I wanted to venture into this experience which started as a drifting into what I could only describe as a long, rectangular tunnel of light. But it wasn't just light, it was a protective passage of energy with an intense brightness at the end which I wanted to look into, to touch.

"... As I reached the source of the Light, I could see in. I cannot begin to describe in human terms the feelings I had over what I saw. It was a giant infinite world of calm, and love, and energy, and beauty. It was as though human life was unimportant compared to this. And yet it urged the importance of life at the same time it solicited death as a means to a different and better life. It was all being, all beauty, all meaning for all existence. It was all the energy of the Universe forever in one place.

"As I reached my right hand into it, feelings of exhilarating anticipation overwhelmed me. I did not need my body anymore. I wanted to leave it behind, if I hadn't already, and go to my God in this new world."

"It Was Wonderful"

In this story, a nine-year-old girl had an NDE four hours after surgery for a ruptured appendix. Her parents were told that she would probably not live through the night so they were at her bedside watching as she saw the Light. She recalls the event with wonder:

"Then the blackness was gone and in its place was a beautiful soft pink light. All the weight was gone, and I floated back up into the room as light as a feather. I seemed to be filled with this same light, which was the most profound spirit of love that you can imagine. Nothing has ever come near it since. I opened my eyes, and the whole room was just bathed in that beautiful light. In fact, the Light completely surrounded everything in the room, there were no shadows. I felt so happy ... I heard my father say, 'What's she looking at?' The Light lasted for a little while and it was wonderful."

"The Light Would Not Hurt Me"

A woman named Carmen contacted me through a patient to tell of her experience at the age of five with the Light. She had been born with a congenital heart defect that had to be corrected with a complicated surgical procedure. While doctors tried to take her off the heart-lung machine, Carmen found herself above the operating table watching her own body being worked on. As she tells it:

"I suddenly realized that I could see myself on the operating table below! I knew there were problems because everyone seemed concerned that they couldn't get my heart to beat. It seemed strange to be able to see my own body down there, but it wasn't frightening.

"As I watched, I found myself floating up toward a bright light. It was very bright, but I wasn't afraid because I knew the Light would not hurt me. I was surrounded by it for a while, and then I sort of blended into my body. It was a wonderful feeling."

"I Wanted To Reach The Light"

Pam is a thirty-nine-year-old graphic artist who had a cardiac arrest at the age of five after touching a live electrical wire. As she tells it:

"I found myself falling down a tunnel with colored ridges that led down to a bright light. I fell slowly at first and then began to fall faster and faster. The faster I went, the better I felt. I wanted to reach the Light but I couldn't.

"Even though I never reached the Light, I think it has changed the way I feel about life and death. It has certainly made me feel more spiritual and loving."

More Than Brightness

To understand the Light further, it is necessary to comprehend the power it can have to illuminate our lives. The experience of near-death researcher Michelle Sorenson illustrates this point.

As a teenager she had injured her leg skiing, and her ligaments were surgically repaired. She developed a serious infection of the blood and bone afterward and nearly died. With her family around her in the hospital, her heart stopped. In the midst of a roomful of panic, she left her body.

"Suddenly I was above my body, looking down from a corner of the room. I felt a wonderful warmth with no chills. A man was standing behind me. The warmth seemed to come from that person and spread around me. I did not turn around. I stared in relief at my form on the bed. I was at peace. I knew I was dead.

"Then I thought. 'I should have done this sooner!' Over the years, I have had a hard time explaining how this man talked to me. Yet he did, and the communication was so warm and loving and so peaceful, that I knew the radiant white light was his love. He knew what I had been through, and his compassion put me at rest.

" 'You are dead, you know,' he said.
" 'Yes, I know. It's great!'
" 'Do you truly want to be dead?'
" 'Oh yes. Why not, this is all so wonderful.' I thought of the Light and the love.

"Looking down at myself on the bed below, I saw my friend put her hand to my body's forehead and then neck to find a pulse. She was screaming. Other people were shouting. 'She's dead, she's dead.'

"I saw my mother's face and my brother's face. He was overseas and they were calling him. I saw a whole network of phone lines, with people's faces on the phones. I felt sad that they were upset, but felt that they would get over it. Even my mother and father would want me to have release from the pain I was having.

" 'But look what you are missing,' the voice said.

"I saw a tall blond man walking with two children. The little girl jumped up and down and her curls shook. The other was a boy. I recognized this as being my future family. I felt a longing for my husband and children even before I had met them!

"The bliss I felt as a dead person suddenly felt temporary. I began to waiver about the joys of being dead before I had even experienced the fullness of life. 'Yes I want to go back.' I said. And I went back."

The Light changed Michelle's life, or as she puns, it "enlightened" her. As with so many others who have had this spiritual experience, the world made more sense after seeing the Light. Things fit together coherently. Most of all, life seemed to have real purpose. "I realized that death was not to be feared," said Michelle. "The only real fear is in not accomplishing our work in this life." By the way, Michelle is married to a former basketball player who is blond. They have two children, a boy and girl.

The Divine Light

Notice how these experiences of light have a religious quality to them? It has long been my belief that many of the world's great religious leaders have been driven by profound near-death and other visionary experiences that involve the mystical light. There are many such examples—both great and small—of people being turned toward a life of devotion by the Light. Usually these occur during childhood.

One of my own patients had such an experience at the age of fifteen. He "died" of a severe infection. While doctors rushed to begin heart massage, he saw a light at the end of his bed. It grew larger and larger until it totally engulfed him. Then from the brightness came a "wonderfully kind" face that was thousands of years old yet without wrinkles. He was frightened by what he saw, a fear that was eliminated when the man touched his forehead.

After that he knew he wanted to become a minister. Now, thirty years later, he is a mainstream Protestant minister who "brings that vision of the Light" to others.

Native American spiritual leader Black Elk had a near-fatal illness at age nine that put him in touch with the Light.

The illness he described resembles rheumatic fever. He says that he had a high fever and swollen joints. He had a long and detailed experience rich with religious imagery and visions of dead relatives. The very heart of his experience occurred when he was on the highest mountain of them all, and beneath him was the entire world. A bright light surrounded the earth, "wide as daylight."

In Autobiography of a Yogi, the Indian guru Paramahansa Yogananda describes his near-death experience at age eight, which then enhanced his lifelong devotion to religion.

In that autobiography he states: "There [was] a blinding light, enveloping my body and the entire room. My nausea and other uncontrollable symptoms disappeared; I was well." This light then stayed with him the rest of his life, and he was able to illuminate others with it.

The religious implications of the Light were described more than two hundred years ago by Jonathan Edwards, the Calvinist theologian who put forth the belief that "there is such a thing as a spiritual and divine light, immediately imparted to the soul by God, of a different nature from any obtained by natural means." He describes this light as having "no impression upon the mind, as it is not seen with the bodily eyes. It can be described as thus: a spiritual and saving conviction of the truth and reality of divine glory. It is sweet and pleasant to the soul."
The Light, Edwards said, enables us to "see the mutual relations between things and occasions us to take more notice of them."

How did Edwards know about the Light more than two centuries ago? In researching his life, I found that he had nearly died of pleurisy as a child, an illness that may well have led to a near-death experience.

All of these examples are not to say that one has to have a near-death experience to see the Light. Oxford scholar Edward Robinson reports on a spiritual experience he had as a four-year-old: "My mother and I were walking on a stretch of land known locally as the moors. As the sun declined and the slight chill of evening came on, a pearly mist formed over the ground. Suddenly I seemed to see the mist as a shimmering gossamer tissue and flowers appearing here and there, seemed to shine with a brilliant fire. Somehow I understood that this was the living tissue of life itself, in which what we call consciousness was embedded: appearing here and there was a shining focus of energy in that more diffused whole. In that moment I knew that I had my own special place, as had all other things.

"The vision has never left me, and with it the same intense feeling of love of the world and the certainty of ultimate good."

Obviously this is not a near-death experience. The child is not physically or emotionally threatened with death. There is no separation from the physical body, no out-of-body experience, and no tunnel. This is clearly a spiritual experience, not an NDE.

Nonetheless, I think the Light seen during NDEs and the mystical light seen by those having a spiritual experience are the same light. Both fuel religious awe and both have the power to transform. As psychologist William James said in his Varieties of Religious Experience, the hallmark of religious experience involves "a sense of being bathed in a warm glow of light. Earth, heaven and sea resounding as in one vast world-encircling harmony." I have heard young children struggling to explain the same thing to me about the Light at the end of the tunnel.

There are several ways to tap this spiritual energy. My guess is that the psychic powers to do so exist in all of us and that given the time and desire we could see the Light without having to die for it.

Still, most of these experiences of light happen to the most innocent among us, the children. And in their simple way, these experiences are expressed with eloquence. No priest or rabbi could be so eloquent.

But Where Is The Light?

The question of great interest is: Where is the Light located? Is it outside the body, representing a place that we go? Or is it just a flash of primal energy within our brains, a sort of supernova of the ego, perhaps?

This has not been my primary question in researching near-death experiences. My research has been aimed at helping the patient work closer with the medical team and at understanding the deep workings of our psyches that affect the dying process. Through my work I would like to prevent what Dr. Mary Robinson at Children's Hospital in Washington, D.C., called "[the turning] away from the dying patient and family" that is done by physicians and their support staff. It has been my hope that these near-death experiences will teach us all how to listen to each other, will break down the walls of isolation and grief that shield us from death.

However, in the course of conducting this more grounded research, I have come to believe that the Light is located outside our bodies.

When I began my research, I never would have dreamed that I would write these words. But the testimony of children and many of their unexplainable encounters have convinced me.

The Story Of Cher

A young girl we'll call Cher first made me think the Light was not just located in the mind. She was an eight-year-old patient of mine who nearly drowned in Seattle's Puget Sound when she fell out of her father's fishing boat.

On an overcast day, she flipped over the gunwales and sank twenty feet to the sandy bottom. Her father turned the boat around, and a close family friend jumped into the murky water and began searching for her. Three times he dove to the bottom of the sound, possessed by the strength and heroism that an emergency can evoke. He could see nothing because of the turbulent waters and the overcast day.

On the fourth dive, he suddenly saw her body. He described it as "illuminated from within" by a soft bright light. This man told me later that he had "a sense of awe and reverence." He pulled her lifeless body from the depths, and they raced her to a hospital. Despite being underwater for at least twenty minutes, she lived.

A few days later, both men returned to the site with scuba gear. The man who saved Cher had told everyone about the Light. Now he wanted to see just how much natural light actually reached the bottom of the sound on a sunny day.

Both men dove down and both said that they could see only a few feet in front of their eyes.

I believe that she was having an NDE and that both she and her rescuer were seeing the Light at the same time.

The Saving Light

There have been other instances in which the Light has intervened to save children.

In 1986, David Young and his family carried an arsenal of weapons and a bomb into an elementary school in Cokeville, Wyoming. After holding 156 children hostage and threatening to kill them all, Young detonated the bomb, destroying the entire school. None of the children was harmed.

How did this miracle of survival happen?

Many of the children described seeing people of light who directed them to safety before the explosion occurred. Others talked about hearing the voice of an adult who told them where to go to avoid the bomb's blast.

One girl described her experience in detail: "They [the people of light] were standing there above us. There was a mother and a father and a lady holding a tiny baby and a little girl with long hair. There was a family of people. The woman told us that a bomb was going off soon and to listen to our brother. She said to be sure we did what he told us. They were dressed in white, bright like light bulbs, but brighter around the face. The woman made me feel good. I knew she loved me."

The girl's brother stated: "I didn't see anything. I just heard a voice tell me to find my little sisters and take them over by the window, and keep them there. They were playing with their friends, and they did not want to move. I took them to the window and helped them through."

Another six-year-old child also testified that "a lady told me that a bomb was going to go off soon. She said to go over by the window and hurry out."

Sheila contacted me after hearing me lecture at a local hospital. Twenty years before, she said, at the age of twelve, she'd had a near-death experience as a result of a near drowning. She probably would have drowned, she says, had a "guardian light" not rescued her from the deep water. She tells the story:

"In the 1950s I lived in the Cedar River area of Washington State. Several friends and I were jumping off the clay bank of the river into an area that was safe to swim in. We knew the dangerous areas of the river and normally avoided them.

"On this particular day, I became careless and rather than wait my turn and jump into the safe area, I decided to jump into a particularly dangerous spot, a twenty-foot hole that had a sucking whirlpool.

"I was pulled down and then I came up. I could see people panicking and trying to reach me from the shore with branches, but the pull of the water was too great, and nobody was coming close to reaching me. As I came up for the third time, I remembered the old saying that a drowning person comes up for air three times. I was getting very tired. I felt that I was being pulled down again. This time though I felt as though I was standing still on the bottom. A few feet from me appeared a rectangular light which was brilliant but very soft at the same time. Nothing in the world mattered at that time. It was a moment of euphoric peace.

"I remember reaching out for the Light But before I had a chance to touch it, I was transported to the shore. I know I wasn't swimming to the shore. The Light picked me up and took me there."

Ever since this experience, Sheila has felt a personal mission to study man's purpose on earth. She says: "I try to get on with my mundane life and not get too serious, but the sense of responsibility and higher purpose is always there." She doesn't understand how people can take their lives for granted. "Most people don't realize how precious life is," she says.

She feels that people who have had near-death experiences should come together and try to get others to find purpose in life. "The Light convinced me that there is more to life than most people experience."

This type of dramatic yet verifiable evidence of the Light intervening in our lives is extraordinarily rare. It is difficult for me to believe even when I read eyewitness accounts of those who were present or—in the cases of Cher and Sheila— actually interview the witnesses myself. It is frequently hard for the witnesses to believe.

With Cher, for instance, her father and the rescuer could hardly believe that the Light had originated from within her in a supernatural fashion, even though the man who saved her swears he saw it. Indeed, we find it hard to believe in something we cannot understand. Yet still these experiences of Light happen.

The Other Grandmother

This story comes to me from a professional acquaintance.

A family was caring for their dying grandmother. In addition to the ravages of old age (she was in her eighties), she had arthritis and heart disease.

The parents discouraged their daughter from spending too much time around the grandmother. They felt that the rapid deterioration of a family member was too horrible a sight for their nine-year-old child to witness.

One day, the child was drawn to the grandmother's room. She went in for a few minutes and then came out with a puzzled look on her face. "Mommy," she said. "There are two grandmothers. I saw two grannies in the room. First I talked to granny and then a lighted lady named Beth came and talked to me and granny. Then they left together."

The mother and daughter went into the room and discovered that the grandmother had died. This was a very convincing experience for the mother. The genuine manner with which the event was presented by the daughter was evidence enough for her. The mother felt that further proof was provided by the "lighted" granny named Beth. For Beth was the name of her great-grandmother, someone the little girl had not heard about.

Could this light, seen by the person having a near-death experience and occasionally seen by others, be a physical manifestation of our guardian angel or guiding light? Many children have described guardian angels who are blond or "all white" who escort them to heaven.

For example, this full-blown near-death experience happened to a child who had a reaction to antibiotics that put her into anaphylactic shock, a sometimes fatal reaction to drugs.

She had an out-of-body experience, went up a tunnel, saw a paradise of light, and was engulfed by a "Godlike light." During this spiritual journey, she also met a guardian angel named Sarah.

This near-death experience occurred twenty years ago. Yet remarkably, Sarah has never left this woman's side. During periods of stress, Sarah reappears to provide solace and advice.

The woman and Sarah have had in-depth discussions about several earthly problems, including marital strife, job difficulties, the travails of raising children. When she needs her, Sarah is always there. All this woman needs to do is sit alone in a quiet place and ask for her presence.

Until recently my patient thought that Sarah was invisible. Then a remarkable thing happened. She was having extraordinary problems with her teenage son, who was failing school, staying out late at night, and being generally rebellious in the worst of teenage traditions. Waiting up for him to return from a night on the town, my patient sat in her darkened family room and "called-up" Sarah.

For the next half hour, the woman and her guardian angel had a heart-to-heart talk about the difficulties of raising teenage boys. Little did my patient know that her son had come home and had witnessed half of their discussion, watching the angel and his mother talk as he peeked around a corner.

In the morning, he confronted her with what he had seen. "Mom," he said. "Who was that woman you were talking to last night? She seemed real nice."

What else could my patient do? She told her son about her constant companion, Sarah. She then sought me out because of my interest in NDEs. She said she needed a medical opinion as to her sanity. Did I think she was crazy? After talking to her for a while, I had to say that I didn't think she was crazy at all.

"What am I?" she then asked.

I thought for a moment. "Lucky, I guess."

Bright New Beginning

According to science, death should mean the extinction of life and light. Biologically speaking, we should close our eyes at the end of life's process and that should be it, extinction of consciousness, absence of light.

We know—especially from the experiences of children— that such an extinction does not occur in a near-death situation. These children tell us that there is a darkness, an end to the light we experience every day. But then there is another light, one that represents love and has "a lot of good things for me in it," as one boy told me.

This light is the core near-death experience and cannot be explained by any scientific theories. I have documented the anatomical areas of the brain where the source of NDEs is located. But there is no scientific explanation for the Light. All we know is that, at the point of death, a brilliant, beautiful, loving, and peaceful light awaits us.

Many patients describe the Light as continuing on, even after the near-death experience is over. One patient said that whenever she fell asleep as a child she would re-experience the Light. Another described her near-death experience at age two: "I saw a bright light that I knew was God. I had the deepest possible experience from being in the Light. When I was a youngster, I could still see sparkles in a dark room from when I first saw that light."

Children even draw pictures of the Light. In fact, when I ask children to draw pictures of what happened during their near-death experience, they almost always include a representation of the Light.

It is fascinating to me that these children, sometimes as young as two and three years old, use the same descriptions of the Light as the previously mentioned spiritual leaders use in their descriptions of the Light of God.

If we assume that this experience of the Light is simply a spasm of rigor mortis in the optic nerve, then how can we account for all of the higher order processing of unconditional love, total truth, and feelings of deep peace and joy? If it is a final death spasm of the optic nerve, patients would simply say: "I saw a blinding bright light."

Using Freud's model of the mind, some psychologists have attempted to explain the Light as merely the internalized parents—the superego—coming to the rescue in the form of the being of light.

Although that is as good an explanation as I have ever heard for the Light, it still leaves much to be explained. If the Light is merely a product of superego, why is it sometimes visible outside the dying person's body?

There are more questions than answers when dealing with the Light. I would like to believe that the Light is where we go when we die. Like a birth into a bright new world, the Light of the NDE represents the beginning of a new beginning.