Confessions Of A Traveler

Hello. My name is Alan Guiden and I travel. I admit this.

While my neighbors sleep, I am busily jumping in and out of my physical body. That's what traveling is. It's an experience beyond your physical. I choose to use the word "traveling", because it correctly describes the event. Now, you know.

Hmm? What's that? You already knew what traveling was and that I do it? Well then, you must not be a neighbor of mine (I feel a connection comin':).

My neighbors don't know of my rather interesting, yet odd, forte. They don't know of my desire, to teach what I've studied (from my over 1400 travels). They don't know that I am visiting amazing and remote places. They don't know that I am floating over their familiar streets. In short (too late:), they simply have no idea of what traveling is, what I do, and what I write about. (typical A.G. dramatic pause...1... 2...3...) Or do they?

Why should I assume that my neighbors do not travel? It's possible that they know all about traveling, and perhaps, they know of my work as well. But gee, I'm sure that they would have said something by now. After all, (insert your name:), you talk to your neighbors about traveling all the time. You have glorious chats upon the mysterious wonders of leaving your physical body. Oh yes, it's quite the time you...huh? You don't talk to 'em about traveling? They think you're a kook? They say it's all a big hoax? They say it can't be done? They say you stole their newspaper? They say your kitty ate their flowers? I think you need new neighbors.

Well, at least you speak of traveling to your family and friends. You have those long conversations with those closest in your life. How nice. Hmm? Oh. I see. You don't really talk about it to them either. Well then, I would just like to say...

"Welcome To The Club". (We'll skip the initiation rites, that are kinda silly anyway. One rite, for instance, would require you to balance a marble on your head.) You, my friend, are exactly like me. I have only occasional travel-conversations at best (even with those who know me well). And ya know what? For whatever reason you ain't yappin' 'bout travelin' (in person), it's okay.

(Now, why would Alan say that, you wonder?) (Would you like to know?) (Yes please, you say.) (Ooh, this is like a mind-link. Okay, I will tell you.)

In the past, we had obstacles to our beyond-the-norm lines of communication. It could be difficult to bridge that personal-gap and talk aloud about traveling (or any beyond-the-norm topic). And of course, there was the chance of being thought a rube or a nutcase. In addition, accessible and reliable resources were also scarce. Many travelers had no way to confirm or learn from what they were experiencing.

But today, in this new-fangled world (ehh, what's that ya young snapperwhipper?), we have the marvel of computers and the net. Today, my friends, you have an unlimited ability to communicate with others of similar interests. Information is just a search away! You can yap another's ears off in real conversation.

You can post and read mail with many excellent newsgroups (here's a few:):

alt.out-of-body alt.dreams.lucid alt.meditation alt.paranormal

With today's technology (that you are using right now, obviously:), you don't have to risk being personally-identified for the beyond-the-norm that you are (unless of course, like me, you want to be:). You are free to talk and learn!!!

And why do I tell you all of this? (All together now, as this is a running gag:) HOW THE HECK SHOULD I KNOW? I'm always as surprised as you are.

A reader writes:

"I wonder about the "thrill" of an OBE -- is this another "hip thrill" so many chase or is there any purpose other than curiosity?"

What an interesting statement. As I plan to make a game of this for you, I won't say yet, whether I agree with the statement. But clearly, here is a person who's really doing some thinkin' 'bout travelin'. This individual hits a home run in 24 words. Is traveling a big thrill-ride? Do we want to travel just to say that we can? Is traveling no more than an experience that amounts to personal kicks?

Okay now, NO CHEATING (you sneak:). I am about to ask you to click one of two choices. Pick your choice and click it BEFORE reading my response to that person's statement. Results will be posted with the next article. Hey, it ain't much, but it's a game. (Sorry, this game is now finished. But you still better not have cheated ya sneak.)

Click one please. The statement was:

"I wonder about the "thrill" of an OBE -- is this another "hip thrill" so many chase or is there any purpose other than curiosity?"

Optional: Click here to voice your opinion.

And now, since you have picked and clicked (I saw you peeking, of course:), I will reveal my response to that statement. Or I might just make you wait until next time. Hmm. What to do? :^) Oh alright, I'll tell ya now.

My official response (oh-so-important-trumpets toot. DOO DA DOO!):

The writer of that statement wins this year's prestigious A.G. Award. Yes, the A.G. Award. Presented whenever I darn well feel like it, to someone who darn well deserves it. Since I have no idea who wrote that statement, due to long-gone-email-deletes on dear Tanya's server, I will present this award here, for the world to see. How exciting. Please dress formal. No fur. You'll be arriving in a jet-black limo. And here we go...

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HONK HONKKK, SSSQQQQUUUEEEEEELLL. Oops, your limo just ran over the host of tonight's gala. That is one lousy driver you have. Now, I'll have to introduce myself.

You take your seat in the magnificent concert hall. You look stunning. All of Travel-Town is gazing in your direction. The lights dim and rockin' music comes on. (I pick Pink Floyd's, "In The Flesh?" from "The Wall" CD, to open this special show. It is appropriately titled and sets a dynamic stage. What would you pick?)

Spots come up and KABOOM, I'm on stage in a burst of smoke and phenomenal pyrotechnics. Perhaps because, I have no host anymore (thank your limo-driver very much), so I don't know where to stand on stage, and I just now tripped on the main power-coupling, and fired all the special effects at one time. And I think I burned my eyebrows off. But, it's a heck of a display. I can hear the fire engines now. Yup, there they are, our fire patrol. Good job! Woo hoo! Okay, it's almost out. There we go, it's out. And now back to our...what? Oh, commercial break. Be right back.

Have you heard about New Sudzos? It's the all-purpose cleanser that also answers your email. And it spreads so smooth. Look for it in your grocer's pickle-section. Won't you try some today? Now back to our special.

I've made it to the podium. I begin to speak (cricket's chirping). Oops, I unplugged my microphone too. Okay, here we go.

Testing. Is this thing on? (Laughs from the audience, as they think that I am not really a buffoon, but simply playing one. The joke's on them. I think.)

Good evening and welcome to the first ever, A.G. Award Ceremony. Tonight's recipient is deserving of this award, and because they can not be here to accept, I will do so for them, with a long-winded speech, in their honor.

The audience gets up and leaves for gourmet munchies in the lobby.

I continue loudly anyway, as I like the way my voice sounds in this big hall.

I can not, my dear friends (friends...friend...frien...echoes off), think of any reason for you to travel, except for the thrill itself! (self, sel..se...)

The audience mills back in, due to my surprising words.

I continue:

The whole point of traveling, and TRYING to travel, is the thrill!

Every aspect of traveling from vibe to lift-out to return is thrilling!

And there is so much more. You can do it all!

Do you want to hang at the ocean, but you live in the city? You can do that. That's thrilling.

Do you want to visit a nearby planet? You can do that. That's thrilling.

Do you want to visit with a loved-one that has recently passed-on? You can do that. That's thrilling.

Do you want to find a new perspective on reality? Well, you can do that too!

Traveling is a constant thrill!

Traveling serves no other purpose, than the purpose you give it. It may be simple curiosity, or the hip-thrill of the moment, that captures your attention. It may also be a thrill that never leaves you and makes you completely obsessive upon the topic of traveling, to the point where you write a definitive hand-book to help others, and you open a site, and write lots of articles, and answer a bunch o' email, and soon you have no time for anything else, AND YOU LOVE IT!

Tonight's recipient of the A.G. Award is absolutely correct (I wonder if they intended to be?). At its basic level, traveling comes down to an individual thrill of challenge and discovery.

So, tonight, in the quiet hours, while the rest of your neighborhood claims unconsciousness, I would like for you to consider the challenge and the thrill of traveling. Then my friends (big rhyming wrap up:)...

Have at the travel, if you might! I thank you all! And now, GOOD NIGHT!

I try to exit the stage to wild applause (only in my head, of course:), but instead I trip on the podium. A big hook comes out and drags me off.

You leave through a side-exit, to your waiting limo. Your driver promptly runs down the host of next year's award show.

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As always, please write regarding your questions, attempts and successes.

Alan Guiden