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<DATE>2014-11-03</DATE>
<RESPSTMT>
<NAME>Alexis Jakobson</NAME>
<RESP>MURP</RESP>
</RESPSTMT>
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<EEBO>
<IDG S="marc" R="UM" ID="B43707">
<STC T="W">P3375</STC>
<BIBNO T="oclc" PRE="ocn">625259487</BIBNO>
<VID>211314</VID>
</IDG>
<TEXT LANG="eng">
<FRONT>
<DIV1 TYPE="title page">
<PB REF="1">
<PB REF="2">
<PB REF="2" MS="y">
<P>A MAP OF MERRY CONCEITES.</P>
<P>Wherein is Contained much mirth which may yeeld plea&s;ure to the Reader, delight to the Hearer, content to the Buyer, profit to the Seller, and hindrance to no man.</P>
<P>THE BOOK.</P>
<Q><L>All you that doe &s;pie me, Come quickly &amp; buy me,</L>
<L>If once you doe try me, You will not deny me.</L></Q>
<P>By <HI>Laurence Price.</HI></P>
<P><FIGURE>
</FIGURE></P>
<P>London, Printed by <HI>E. C.</HI> for <HI>Francis Grove,</HI> and are to be &s;old at his &s;hop on <HI>Snow-hill</HI> neer the <HI>Sarazens</HI> head, 1656.</P>
</DIV1>
</FRONT>
<BODY>
<DIV1 TYPE="text">
<PB REF="3">
<PB REF="3" MS="y">
<HEAD>A MAP OF MERRIE CONCEITES.</HEAD>
<DIV2 TYPE="poem">
<L>_CVrteous &s;pectators that my ver&s;es heare,</L>
<L>Stand not amaz'd but come a little near,</L>
<L>Vnto your view I purpo&s;e to pre&s;ent</L>
<L>A little book which y&eacute;elds much merrime~</L>
<L>I have in hand no mon&s;trous bea&s;t to brag on</L>
<L>As <HI>Parkers</HI> Oxe, nor Trundles mighty Draggon:</L>
<L><HI>Bevis</HI> of Hampton, nor great Warwicks Earle,</L>
<L>Which ventur'd life and blood to gain a girle,</L>
<L>Nor would I have you think me &s;o mi&s;taken</L>
<L>To write of <HI>Fau&s;tus,</HI> or old Fryer <HI>Bacon,</HI></L>
<L>Of <HI>Pluto</HI> nor of <HI>Pro&s;erpine</HI> of hell,</L>
<L>Which might affright you no &s;uch newes ile tell,</L>
<L>I am not us'd to cringe, to bend or crouch,</L>
<L>Or cou&s;en money out of Maudlins pouch.</L>
<L>No no, my mu&s;e is otherwi&s;e inclin'd,</L>
<L>They that peru&s;e the&s;e lines may quickly finde</L>
<L>A remedy for melancholy &s;its,</L>
<L>I will kick a fool into &s;ome riper wits:</L>
<L>Women that to the Alehou&s;e doe re&s;ort,</L>
<L>Twill make them laugh and find them pretty &s;port,</L>
<L>Then buy my Pamphlet, read it at your lea&s;ure,</L>
<L>Twill &s;erve to pa&s;&s;e the time, and do you plea&s;ure.</L>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="poem">
<L>AN V&s;urer that had more &s;tore of gold</L>
<L>Then all his coffers, che&s;ts, and trunks would hold,</L>
<PB REF="4">
<L>Went to a Neigbour poor that dwelt clo&s;e by,</L>
<L>Intreating him an &s;imple curte&s;y,</L>
<L>Which was to give him leave till Lamas day</L>
<L>Five bags of Rudocks in a room to lay</L>
<L>Of th' poor mans hou&s;e, who quickly gave con&s;ent</L>
<L>He &s;hould lay in his gold, and pay no rent;</L>
<L>Which being done, the dore hee lockt up fa&s;t,</L>
<L>But mark the je&s;t, here comes the be&s;t at la&s;t,</L>
<L>This poor man found another way unto</L>
<L>Old Magus bagges; and made no more ado</L>
<L>But very boldly to the place did enter,</L>
<L>And manfully upon the gold did venture,</L>
<L>Not long time after he went to the Town,</L>
<L>and bought his wife a petticoat and gown,</L>
<L>Silk Apron, dainty Ruffs, and Ho&s;e and Shooes,</L>
<L>A heaver hat the be&s;t that he could choo&s;e:</L>
<L>Kings to her fingers of the pure&s;t gold,</L>
<L>With other garments Gorgious to behold:</L>
<L>Thus &s;he that lately went as poor as may be</L>
<L>Was now adorned like a petty Ladie,</L>
<L>His children mu&s;t with co&s;tly fare be fed,</L>
<L>Which had before want both of drink and bred,</L>
<L>This caus'd their neigbours all within the pari&s;h</L>
<L>Wonder much &s;trangely thus to &s;ee them flori&s;h,</L>
<L>Some &s;urely thought that he rob'd for gain,</L>
<L>And others &s;aid he had &s;ome rich man &s;lain;</L>
<L>Many reported that his deeds were evill,</L>
<L>And that his &s;oul was given to the devill:</L>
<L>El&s;e how quoth they could he that was &s;o poore</L>
<L>Abound in wealth and have of gold &s;uch &s;tore:</L>
<L>In &s;hort time after as it did appear</L>
<L>This news was brought unto old Magus ear,</L>
<L>Who in milde rage, as feirce as any &s;naile,</L>
<L>Came to the hou&s;e thinking for to prevail,</L>
<L>With lofty &s;p&eacute;ech he did his gold demand,</L>
<L>And &s;wore that he mu&s;t have it out of hand:</L>
<PB REF="4">
<L>Why quoth the poor man, Sir, you have the key,</L>
<L>But for your gold you mu&s;t a long time &s;tay;</L>
<L>I gave you leave to bring in bags of worth,</L>
<L>But I not give you leave to fetch them forth:</L>
<L>Now how this Iarre did end to me's unknown,</L>
<L>But yet I hope the poor man held his own.</L>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="poem">
<L><HI>A</HI> Dainty couple which were newly wedded</L>
<L>And &s;carce had 40 nights together bedded:</L>
<L>The man was oft po&s;&s;e&s;t by his next neighbor,</L>
<L>That his young wife did undergoe a labor,</L>
<L>Which was unfitting he &s;hould &s;o confute him,</L>
<L>For it was prov'd &s;he often did cornute him,</L>
<L>This valiant horned man &s;&eacute;em'd well contented,</L>
<L>And of his marriage he no jot repented,</L>
<L>For why, quoth he, &s;he learn'd it of her mother,</L>
<L>Precept nor pattern took &s;h&eacute;e of no other,</L>
<L>When as her man and &s;he were newly marryed</L>
<L>Things in like order then with them were carryed,</L>
<L>But when &s;he came to be lame, blind, and aged,</L>
<L>Her friends would for her hone&s;ty &s;tand ingaged,</L>
<L>And for my part I doe &s;uppo&s;e her daughter</L>
<L>Either lives hone&s;t now, or will hereafter;</L>
<L>I will not with ill terms my wife importune,</L>
<L>I think 'twas not her fault but my bad fortune:</L>
<L>And fith that &s;he's inclin'd to be &s;o merry,</L>
<L>Ile be as boon, and tipple &s;ack and &s;herry:</L>
<L>What care I for the voyce of Common people</L>
<L>Though every word &s;&eacute;ems higher then a &s;t&eacute;eple,</L>
<L>Let <HI>Will</HI> and <HI>Bes</HI> and <HI>Tom</HI> again&s;t me mutter,</L>
<L>I do not care a pinne for all their clutter,</L>
<L>Perhaps that &s;ome will &s;ay I am the richer</L>
<L>Becau&s;e my wife was &s;uch an excellent &s;titcher:</L>
<L>Another &s;ays I have a very dull head,</L>
<L>A third man calls me by the name of Bull head:</L>
<L>And this &s;hall never move me to di&s;plea&s;ure,</L>
<L>So that my wife brings in good &s;tore of trea&s;ure.</L>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="part">
<PB REF="5">
<HEAD>THE CROSSING OF PROVERBS.</HEAD>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Pro.</SPEAKER>
<P>_HE may &s;wim that is held up by the chin.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Cro&s;.</SPEAKER>
<P>But not with a mill&s;tone tyed about his middle.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Pro.</SPEAKER>
<P>Give a man luck and ca&s;t him into the &s;ea.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Cro&s;.</SPEAKER>
<P>And &s;o he may have the luck to be drowned.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Pro.</SPEAKER>
<P>The breath of a wanton is &s;w&eacute;et at the fir&s;t.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Cro&s;.</SPEAKER>
<P>But at la&s;t more loath&s;ome than poy&s;on.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>A fool will be won to do any thing.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>No, not any good thing.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>A fool will be won with a bable.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not &s;o, a crafty fool will not.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>Wi&s;e men are never deceived.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes &s;ometimes with a woman.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>H&eacute;e that digges a pit for another man falls in him&s;elfe.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>But not if he be the Sexton of the Pari&s;h.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>No man will change an old friend for a new.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes, if once he falls into poverty.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>He that will not work &s;hall not eat.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not &s;o, for many times h&eacute;e that workes lea&s;t eats mo&s;t.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<PB REF="5">
<SPEAKER>Pro.</SPEAKER>
<P>He that will lye will &s;teal.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Cro&s;.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not if his hands be bound behind him.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>He that hath a &s;cold to his wife cannot b&eacute;e at quiet.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes, when he is far enough from her.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>He that doth good is repayed with evill.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>But not all times.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>A barking dog will bite.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>But a &s;narling cur will both bark and bite.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>You never heard a fi&s;h wife Cry &s;tinking fi&s;h.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes once in Southwarke.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>He that buyes dear mu&s;t &s;ell dear.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not &s;o, there are many that buyes dear to give away.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>Tobacco as &s;ome &s;ay cl&eacute;ereth the eye &s;ight.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>But I never will bel&eacute;eve it.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>The love of a Harlot doth not la&s;t long.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes, &s;o long as a man hath one Groat in his pur&s;e.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>Choice fare, &s;trong drink, and warm clothes wil lengthen thy life.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not if it bring in its mace to arre&s;t th&eacute;e.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>One cold drives out another.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not when Witold drives out Cuckold.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>The blind eat many a flye</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>But not in Chri&s;tmas holydays.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>Like Ma&s;ter like man.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not &s;o, Many an hone&s;t Ma&s;ter hath had a knave to his Man.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>It is a rare thing to have a beautifull wife.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not except &s;he be hone&s;t.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>It is a good thing to have a loving wife.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not if &s;h&eacute;e love another man better than her husband.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>It is an excellent thing to have a quiet wife.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not if &s;h&eacute;e be dumb and cannot &s;peak.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<PB REF="6">
<SPEAKER>Pro.</SPEAKER>
<P>It is a happy thing to have an hone&s;t wife.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Cro&s;.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not unle&s;&s;e &s;h&eacute;e bee endued with &s;ome other vertue.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>He is wi&s;e that k&eacute;epeth a &s;ecret hidden.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>But not if it be to his own hurt.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>He is wi&s;e that revealeth a &s;ecret.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not if it be to wrong a friend.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>The ta&s;te of water &s;poyles the voyce.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not of a Goo&s;e.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>Hear, &s;&eacute;e, and &s;ay nothing.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not &s;o, lea&s;t thy throat be cut while thou keep &s;ilence.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>Lyars have very &s;hort legges.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>But they have very long tongues.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>To be carefull is an excellent gift.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not except it be guided with di&s;cretion.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>Better give the wool than the &s;h&eacute;ep.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not if the &s;h&eacute;ep be rotten.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>Set a th&eacute;ef on hor&s;eback and he will ride.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not far if he m&eacute;et with the gallowes.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>It is never good to choo&s;e a wife by the light of a Candle.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yet &s;he may be better by Candle than by Day|light,</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>Children and fools tell all.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not if they cannot &s;peak.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>A Tap&s;ter &s;ometimes thrives backwards.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Tis not the Tap&s;ter tis his wife.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>Time is a proud Champion.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not &s;o, for hee will runne away from every one.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>He that lives without a wife &s;aves charges.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not if he &s;pend more in a Bawdy hou&s;e than will maintain a family.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>He y^e waiteth on a whore &s;hall lo&s;e his labour.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not &s;o, he may chance to be paid with a pox.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<PB REF="6">
<SPEAKER>Pro.</SPEAKER>
<P>Hee that goeth to bed without a &s;upper may ri&s;e an hungry.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Cro&s;.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not &s;o, he is not &s;ure ro ri&s;e alive.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>A wrangler will pick out the eyes of another.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>But not if they be blind before.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>He that loves me will love my hound.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not if he eat up the butter.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>Words and d&eacute;eds are all one.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not among&s;t Di&s;&s;emblers.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>A fat Goo&s;e is meat for a man.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not when the Fox m&eacute;ets with her.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>The great fi&s;h eat up the &s;mall.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>But not before they catch them.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>Con&s;cience was hanged long agoe.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not &s;o, he was hanged that u&s;ed no con&s;ci|ence.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>Hotte&s;t love is &s;oone&s;t cold.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not &s;o, a faithfull friend will &s;ay and hold.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>The bigge&s;t is the be&s;t.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not &s;o, a Lark is better than a Kyte.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>It is a brave thing to have &s;tore of gold.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not if thou be carried to pri&s;on for it.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>Tell a tale to a Mare and &s;h&eacute;e will give th&eacute;e no thanks.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes, the clean contrary way.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>When Fortune pipeth then is good time to dance.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>But not if thou ha&s;t no legs.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>A Drunken wife n&eacute;eds no Porter.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes, to carry her home.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>Good Ale makes the heart light.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>But not if it overload the &s;tomack.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>If the Mare trot the Colt wiil trot al&s;o.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not if he be lame and cannot goe.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>A joyfull heart makes a fair face.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>But not in a black-moore.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<PB REF="7">
<SPEAKER>Pro.</SPEAKER>
<P>Love them that love th&eacute;e.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Cro&s;.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not if they be harlots.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P:</SPEAKER>
<P>Kick a gauld hor&s;e and he will winch.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C:</SPEAKER>
<P>Not if he be dead:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P:</SPEAKER>
<P>He that hath due to the B&eacute;e wil have the hony:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C:</SPEAKER>
<P>Not &s;o, he may be di&s;mi&s;t of both:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P:</SPEAKER>
<P>He that wakes all night may &s;l&eacute;ep all day:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C:</SPEAKER>
<P>Not when a Souldier is in the face of his enemy:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P:</SPEAKER>
<P>A Taylor may be an hone&s;t man:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C:</SPEAKER>
<P>Not when hee cuts thr&eacute;e &s;l&eacute;eves for one gar|ment:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P:</SPEAKER>
<P>Wi&s;dome is a rare part in a Dam&s;ell:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C:</SPEAKER>
<P>But not if &s;he be adicted to folly:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P:</SPEAKER>
<P>A &s;word is a dangerous weapon:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C:</SPEAKER>
<P>Not till it be drawn:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P:</SPEAKER>
<P>Manhood be&s;t becomes a &s;ouldier:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C:</SPEAKER>
<P>Not if he flye from his Colours.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P:</SPEAKER>
<P>He &s;hoots well that hits the mark:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C:</SPEAKER>
<P>Not if it be to his own undoing:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P:</SPEAKER>
<P>To pick a mans pur&s;e is flat felony:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C:</SPEAKER>
<P>Not women pick their husbands pur&s;es:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P:</SPEAKER>
<P>A drunkard is a Gentlemans fellow:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C:</SPEAKER>
<P>Not &s;o, he is not worthy to he a Beggers com|panion:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P:</SPEAKER>
<P>Butter is good for any thing:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C:</SPEAKER>
<P>But not to &s;top Ovens with:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P:</SPEAKER>
<P>Every true Miller hath a golden thumbe:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C:</SPEAKER>
<P>Not &s;o true, the Miller hath a thumb of fle&s;h.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P:</SPEAKER>
<P>Meat well boyled hurteth no body:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C:</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes the Ho&s;tis if it be not well paid for:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P:</SPEAKER>
<P>A new broom &s;w&eacute;eps clean:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C:</SPEAKER>
<P>Not if a lazy huswife hath it in handling:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P:</SPEAKER>
<P>Good deeds are repayd with evill:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C:</SPEAKER>
<P>Not with good minded people:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P:</SPEAKER>
<P>A lu&s;ty hor&s;e is a tru&s;ty &s;ervant:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<PB REF="7">
<SPEAKER>Cro&s;.</SPEAKER>
<P>That's not &s;o if he ca&s;t his Ma&s;ter on the ground.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Pro.</SPEAKER>
<P>An unhappy boy br&eacute;eds a good man.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>That's not &s;o, a good man br&eacute;eds an unhappy boy.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>A quean is better than a &s;lut:</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>That's not &s;o, for a &s;lut can but poy&s;on the bo|dy, &amp; a quean will poy&s;on both body and &s;oule.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nothing &s;o much out of reque&s;t as an old hor&s;e</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes an old Servingman.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>A Bucks horn and a Cuckolds horn are alike.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Thats not &s;o, for a Buck &s;heds his horn once a year, and the Cuckold &s;heds his horns &s;carce once in his life time.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>Short and &s;weet.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not if it ta&s;te like a Crabbe.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nothing more &s;ubtle than a whore.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes, the Devill.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>The longer he liveth the more wit he wil have.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not if he be an Ideot.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>A beautifull woman gives content to her hu&s;|band.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not if &s;he dub him knight of the forked order.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>Pride and Lu&s;t commonly goe together.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not when a whore is brought to the whipping-po&s;t.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>P.</SPEAKER>
<P>He that will &s;wear will lye.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>C.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not if he bear a good con&s;cience.</P>
</SP>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="poem">
<PB REF="8">
<HEAD>The Knavery of the Miller.</HEAD>
<L><HI>A</HI> Gentleman once walking on the way,</L>
<L>Met with <HI>Tom True</HI> the hone&s;t Millers boy,</L>
<L>A pound of Candles he had in his hand,</L>
<L>The Gentleman did earne&s;tly demand,</L>
<L>To know the rea&s;on why he u&s;ed &s;till</L>
<L>To carry &s;uch &s;tore of candles to the Mill.</L>
<L>Sir, &s;aid the boy, w&eacute;e &s;oon &s;hall have good &s;port,</L>
<L>For why, my Ma&s;ter means to k&eacute;ep his Court:</L>
<L>So being parted at that in&s;tant &s;ea&s;on,</L>
<L>The man within him&s;elf began to rea&s;on,</L>
<L>What Court the Miller kept, and therefore he,</L>
<L>Was thus re&s;olved, that he would goe &s;&eacute;e.</L>
<L>And comming to the Mill late in the night,</L>
<L>He did perceive therein a mighty light,</L>
<L>So coutching clo&s;e under a bu&s;h hard by,</L>
<L>He thought in time &s;ome knavery to &s;py:</L>
<L>At la&s;t he heard a very large Oration</L>
<L>Made by the Miller like a Proclamation,</L>
<L>With a loud voyce, next after his O yes,</L>
<L>He did begin his &s;p&eacute;ech as followeth this.</L>
<L>Boy make good cha&s;te, with &s;p&eacute;ed unty each &s;ack,</L>
<L>And &s;&eacute;e what cu&s;tomers of late we lack,</L>
<L>The pretty Lad did as his Ma&s;ter bid him,</L>
<L>But yet un&s;&eacute;en the Gentleman &s;till hid him,</L>
<L>And &s;o the Miller &s;traight upon the &s;ame,</L>
<L>Cald all his Cu&s;tomers each one by name:</L>
<L>Come <HI>Thomas</HI> Gull appear with &s;p&eacute;ed in &s;ight,</L>
<L>Or el&s;e thou &s;halt be mearct by this good light:</L>
<L>Bring <HI>Steeven</HI> Goo&s;e, <HI>William</HI> Woodcock too,</L>
<L>El&s;e boy I charge th&eacute;e make no more adoe,</L>
<L>Di&s;charge thy con&s;cience, fini&s;h up the rrouble,</L>
<L>And every one that comes not mearce him double:</L>
<PB REF="8">
<L>The man un&s;&eacute;en much wondred at the &s;ame,</L>
<L>At la&s;t he heard them call upon his name,</L>
<L>And fearing lea&s;t his &s;ack would pay a fine,</L>
<L>Crydout, hold, hold, I am a friend of thine.</L>
<L>This word throughout the Mill made all amazed,</L>
<L>And with their candles up and down they gazed;</L>
<L>Though long they looked, no man they could &s;&eacute;e,</L>
<L>Which made the Miller think a&s;&s;uredlie,</L>
<L>For his mi&s;dealing, and his ba&s;e demerit,</L>
<L>His Mill and he were haunted by &s;ome &s;pirit.</L>
<L>Whereby into a frenzie &s;traight he fell,</L>
<L>His peuter no&s;e made &s;hew he was not well,</L>
<L>His hoary hair from his bald head fell down,</L>
<L>Scarcely one hone&s;t hair left on his crown,</L>
<L>And quaking in the place where he did &s;tand,</L>
<L>Not one true finger left on his right hand;</L>
<L>And many griefs &s;utable with the &s;ame,</L>
<L>Which now would be too long for me to name,</L>
<L>In this di&s;tre&s;&s;e he took him to his bed,</L>
<L>And &s;ince that time <HI>Tom True</HI> the Millers dead.</L>
<L>Therefore to end my theme I hold it be&s;t,</L>
<L>You may conceive all this is but a je&s;t.</L>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="poem">
<HEAD>The Drunkards Dream.</HEAD>
<L><HI>A</HI> Country fellow being potifi'd,</L>
<L>Lay down to &s;l&eacute;ep fa&s;t by the high way &s;ide,</L>
<L>And as this Pot-companion was a &s;l&eacute;eping,</L>
<L>Morphus his vitall &s;ences had in k&eacute;eping:</L>
<L>Mean while a Traveller that pa&s;&s;ed by,</L>
<L>And &s;eeing him &s;o much at randome lye,</L>
<L>Awaked him and &s;traight upon the &s;ame,</L>
<L>De&s;ired him for to unfold his dreame;</L>
<L>For why quoth he I &s;&eacute;e you often &s;tart,</L>
<L>By which I know that in your inward part</L>
<L>You were po&s;&s;e&s;t with &s;ome prodigious &s;ight,</L>
<L>Which in your &s;l&eacute;ep did greatly you afright.</L>
<PB REF="9">
<L>The man &s;tarts up like one being in a maze,</L>
<L>And on the Traveller did wi&s;tly gaze,</L>
<L>And pre&s;ently his dream began to tell,</L>
<L>I have quoth h&eacute;e &s;&eacute;en all the rooms in hell,</L>
<L>But &s;ince my memory &s;o dull is grown,</L>
<L>That every &s;everall I cannot make known.</L>
<L>I will relate what I can be&s;t remember,</L>
<L>Me thought twas done in the month of September</L>
<L>An Ale-wife fir&s;t was by a demi-devill</L>
<L>Brought in becau&s;e ind&eacute;ed her d&eacute;eds were evill,</L>
<L>Her chiefe&s;t cu&s;tomers &s;he u&s;ed to gull,</L>
<L>And never fild her pots to poor folks full,</L>
<L>Be&s;ide the dropings of the tap &s;he'ld &s;end</L>
<L>And bring fal&s;e reckoning to her n&eacute;ere&s;t friend,</L>
<L>And oftentimes her tongue would br&eacute;ed much &s;trife</L>
<L>Twixt many an hone&s;t neighbour and his wife.</L>
<L>And then me thought this Alewife for her trouble</L>
<L>Was in the Stygian Lake tormented double.</L>
<L>Soon after her pre&s;ented were thr&eacute;e queans,</L>
<L>Who by ungodly dealings got their means,</L>
<L>Their faces painted, and their golden locks,</L>
<L>But all their no&s;es painted with the pox,</L>
<L>And for their earthly plea&s;ure now their gain,</L>
<L>Is to be puni&s;hed with a la&s;ting pain.</L>
<L>And after them me thought apace did wander</L>
<L>A foul&s;ome Baud, a Cut-pur&s;e and a Pander,</L>
<L>Numbers of Rookes that in the fields lay playing,</L>
<L>Whe~ twas more fit they &s;hould have bee~ a praying</L>
<L>Sherkers &amp; cheters in great crowds came pra~cing</L>
<L>As if the Devill kept a &s;chool for Dancing:</L>
<L>Chandlers al&s;o to &s;hew their weights &amp; mea&s;ure,</L>
<L>And mony mongers with great heaps of trea&s;ure:</L>
<L>Bakers al&s;o for &s;izing of their bread,</L>
<L>Bewayling of the time they were mi&s;&s;ed:</L>
<L>Brewers came with them onely for this matter,</L>
<L>Becau&s;e they left out malt and put in water.</L>
<PB REF="9">
<L>The Traveller being weary of his talk,</L>
<L>Sayd Friend farewell, for now I mu&s;t go walk;</L>
<L>And &s;o they parted both I know not whether,</L>
<L>I think ind&eacute;ed they &s;tayd too long together.</L>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="poem">
<HEAD>A Fare from Wapping.</HEAD>
<L><HI>A</HI> Wench n&eacute;er <HI>Wapping</HI> lately was e&s;py'd,</L>
<L>With a young fellow by a hedges &s;ide,</L>
<L>And as tis &s;aid in mide&s;t of their bravery,</L>
<L>Two boat men took them in the height of knavery,</L>
<L>And with a Ropes end they the fellow ba&s;ted,</L>
<L>But the poor wench a greater torment ta&s;ted;</L>
<L>For &s;he was brought before &s;ome men at la&s;t</L>
<L>The which on her their cen&s;ures quickly pa&s;t,</L>
<L>That &s;he &s;hould then unto a boat be tide</L>
<L>And &s;o be drawn unto the other &s;ide.</L>
<L>Fa&s;t to the &s;tern end they then her bound,</L>
<L>She thought of nothing but &s;he &s;hould be drownd,</L>
<L>But they had quickly row'd her throw the water,</L>
<L>And charged her to live hone&s;t ever after:</L>
<L>Now when &s;he felt her &s;elf upon the ground,</L>
<L>In &s;hort time after &s;he her tongue had found,</L>
<L>And with a voyce both lu&s;ty &s;tout and bold</L>
<L>She did begin to fret, fume, chafe and &s;cold.</L>
<L>Are you the men, &s;aid &s;he, would hang or drown me</L>
<L>Or doe you think at this time to confound me:</L>
<L>No, no, alas your labor is in vain,</L>
<L>For I will &s;urely to the &s;port again:</L>
<L>You &s;ay that you have wa&s;ht me clean and &s;w&eacute;et,</L>
<L>The betters for my friend when we doe m&eacute;et:</L>
<L>Yet in this way it may b&eacute;e under&s;tood</L>
<L>That this &s;ame wa&s;hing hath done me much good,</L>
<L>He that before would give me but a crown,</L>
<L>Shall now pay twenty &s;hillings ready down.</L>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="poem">
<PB REF="10">
<HEAD><L>If you think the Book is not worth your money,</L>
<L>Here's a Song at the later end is worth a penny.</L></HEAD>
<OPENER>To the tune of La&s;t Chri&s;tmas twas my chance.</OPENER>
<LG>
<L>I Am a&s;ham'd to &s;ee</L>
<L>Such antick fooli&s;h fa&s;hions</L>
<L>As up and down doth flee,</L>
<L>Be&s;ides &s;uch altrations</L>
<L>As there bee.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Both men and women to</L>
<L>Their &s;hapes doe &s;o abu&s;e,</L>
<L>How ugly doe they &s;how</L>
<L>In their forked tin-to'd &s;hooes</L>
<L>When as they go.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>A pride likewi&s;e &s;ome take</L>
<L>In poudring of their &s;houlders</L>
<L>When nits or meale will make</L>
<L>As brave a &s;ight to the beholders</L>
<L>I dare &s;peak.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>On their codpi&s;&s;es theyl wear</L>
<L>Sorts of Ribons plenty,</L>
<L>And vapor, rant, and tear</L>
<L>When their pockets they are empty</L>
<L>I dare &s;wear.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>I met one in the &s;treet</L>
<L>Her face was daubd with &s;pots</L>
<L>But when I did her greet</L>
<L>I thought &s;he had the pox</L>
<L>Her breath was &s;o &s;weet.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Your tin-to'd boots &amp; &s;hooes,</L>
<L>Black paches &amp; painted faces,</L>
<L>Every dragletail now doth u&s;e</L>
<L>And no &s;mockes upon their Ar&mdash;es</L>
<L>That's no news.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>If <HI>Diogenes</HI> had lived</L>
<L>In the&s;e times of altrations,</L>
<L>He would a blu&s;ht to &s;ee</L>
<L>Such antick fooli&s;h fa&s;hions</L>
<L>As now there be.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>For fear I &s;hould offend</L>
<L>In this harmle&s;&s;e dity,</L>
<L>I'l &s;top my tongue and end,</L>
<L>Truth now is blam'd that's pity</L>
<L>My dear friend.</L>
</LG>
</DIV2>
<TRAILER>FINIS.</TRAILER>
<PB REF="10">
</DIV1>
</BODY>
</TEXT>
</EEBO>
</ETS>
