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<DATE>2013-10-29</DATE>
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<NAME>Colm MacCrossan</NAME>
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<DIV1 TYPE="title page">
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<P>THREE MONETHS Ob&s;eruations of the Low-Countries, E&s;pecially HOLLAND. CONTAINING <HI>A brief De&s;cription of the Country, Cu&s;tomes, Religions, Manners, and Di&s;po&s;itions of the People.</HI></P>
<P>Printed <HI>Anno</HI> 1648.</P>
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<DIV1 TYPE="printer to the reader">
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<HEAD>The PRINTER to the READER.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Reader,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>_THough relations of tho&s;e Countries with whom we have had long and frequent Commerce, (which &s;uppo&s;es us knowing of things either curious or needful) may be e&s;teemed &s;uperfluous; yet for the better under&s;tanding of the&s;e short ob&s;ervations, it &s;eems very nece&s;&s;ary; for it is &s;uppo&s;ed they were intended by the Author (whom you will find ingenious) either to plea&s;e him&s;elf, or delight the fancies of tho&s;e that are ac|quainted with the fashions of the Country.</P>
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<P>He renders the Hollander an ingenuous &s;ubtle people, and if he be a little too free with them in their vices, 'tis pardonable; for when he ob&s;erves their vertues, he endeavours to make requital.</P>
<P>To commend it were to detract; that were pity, for it is too little al|ready: but being &s;o, you may with more ea&s;e try whether it de&s;erves it.</P>
<P>To make large preambles, were not onely to be unlike our Author, but to erect a great gate to a &s;mal Cottage.</P>
<P>It was thought de&s;erving the Pre&s;s; I have done my part, do you but yours; that is, peru&s;e it, and add it to thy Library.</P>
<CLOSER><SALUTE>Farewel.</SALUTE></CLOSER>
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<DIV1 TYPE="account">
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<HEAD>THREE MONETHS Ob&s;ervations of the Low-Coun|tries, e&s;pecially <HI>HOLLAND.</HI></HEAD>
<P>THey are generally a Sea|land: there is not &s;uch a ma|ri&s;h in the world that is flat. They are an univer&s;al quag|mire; epitomi&s;ed, a green-chee&s;e in pickle: &s;uch an Aequilibrian of earth and water, that a &s;trong earthquake would &s;hake them into a Chaos: they are the ingredients of a black pudding, and want onely &s;tirring, el&s;e you would have more bread then greets: then have you no way to make it &s;erve for any thing, but to &s;pread it under <HI>Zona Torrida,</HI> and &s;o dry it for Turfes. It is an excellent
<PB N="8" REF="5">place for de&s;pairing lovers, for each corner affords them Willow; but if Ju&s;tice &s;hould condemn one to be hanged on any other Tree, he might live long and confident. It is the but tock of the world, full of veines and blood; but no bones. Had St <HI>Stephen</HI> been condemned there to be &s;toned, he might have lived &s;till; for (unle&s;s it be in their paved Townes) gold is more plentiful than &s;tone. It is a &s;ingular place to fat monkies for there are &s;piders as bigg as &s;hrimps, and (I think) as many. You may travel the Countrey without a guide, for you cannot go out of the rode without hazard of drowning. A King that hated crowding, might have run away without &s;taying for his V&s;her, for he can go no whither but his way is made before him. Had they Cities as big as their walls, Rome were but a bauble to them. Twenty miles are nothing to be hurried over in one of
<PB N="9" REF="5">their waggons; where, if the Voer|man be &s;ober, you travel &s;afe, But de&s;cending from thence, you mu&s;t have better faith then <HI>Peter</HI> had, or you &s;ink immediately, if your way be not his: thus it hangs in the wa|ter, and at the approach of the wag|gon, it will &s;hake as if it were ague|&s;tricken. The Duke D' <HI>Alva</HI> taxing the tenth penny, frighted it into a Pal&s;y, which all the Mountebanks it had bred and had, knew not how to cure. They do &s;ome things which &s;eem wonders; for they fi&s;h for fire in the waters, which they catch in nets, and tran&s;port to land in their boats, where they &s;pread it &s;mooth, as a Mercer doth his Velvet when he rooks an Heir of eighteen. Thus be|ing in a meddow, you would &s;uppo&s;e it a cantle of green-chee&s;e, &s;pread over with black butter. Their ordi|nary Pack-hor&s;es are fram'd of wood, carrying their bridles in their tayles,
<PB N="10" REF="6">and their burdens in their bellies, and a &s;trong wind and &s;tiffe gale are the &s;purs that make them &s;peedy. They dre&s;s their meat with <HI>aqua coele&s;tis;</HI> for their water &s;prings are not like ours, from the earth, but come to them as <HI>Manna</HI> to the I&s;raelites, from heaven. the Elements here are at variance, the &s;ubtile overflow the gro&s;&s;er, the fire con&s;uming the earth, and the ayr the waters; for they burn Turfs, and drain their grounds with Wind-mils, as if the Collick were a remedy for the Stone. The land they have is kept as neat as a Courtiers beard, and they have a method in mowing. It is &s;o interveyned with waters and rivers, that it is impo&s;&s;ible to make a Com|mon among&s;t them. Even the Brow|ni&s;ts are here at a &s;tand. The poor are never complained of for breaking of hedges; &s;urely had the men of Go|tham lived here, they would have &s;tudied &s;ome other pri&s;on for the
<PB N="11" REF="6">Cuckow. Their ditches they frame as they li&s;t, and di&s;tingui&s;h them in|to noecks, as my Lord Majors Cook doth his cu&s;tards: they clen&s;e them often, but it is as Phy&s;icians give their potions, more to catch the fi&s;h, then ca&s;t out the mud. Though their coun|try be that of the main, yet every hou&s;e &s;tands as it were an Iland, and that (though a Boor dwell in it) looks as &s;mug as a Lady new-painted. A gallants ma&s;quing &s;uit fits not more neatly than a thatcht cottage of many yeers wearing: if you finde it dry, it is embraced with vines, and if lower &s;eated, it is onely a clo&s;e harbour within a plump of Willowes, and plea&s;ant enough, as long as the dog|daies la&s;t; but they overpa&s;t, you mu&s;t practi&s;e wading or &s;wimming; or remain pri&s;oner till the Spring; onely a hard fro&s;t with the help of &s;ledges, may relea&s;e you. The Bridge to this is an outlandi&s;h planck, with a box of
<PB N="12" REF="7">&s;tones to poi&s;e it with, like a Quintin; which with the lea&s;t help, turns round like a Head&s;-man, and when the ma&s;ter is over, &s;tands drawn, and then he is in his Ca&s;tle; 'tis &s;ure his fear that makes him &s;u&s;picious; there|fore that he may &s;ee who enters, his window is ever over his dore; But it may be to &s;hew his Pedigree; for (though his Ance&s;tors were never known) their Armes are there, which in &s;pite of the Herald, &s;hall bear their atchievements with the helmet of a Baron at lea&s;t; marry the field per|haps &s;hall be charged with baskets, to &s;hew his Fathers trade pourtrayed. When you are entred, the fir&s;t thing you &s;hall encounter is a looking-gla&s;s, the next, the Ve&s;&s;els mar&s;halld about the hou&s;e like watchmen, all as near, as if they were in a Ladies Cabinet; for (unle&s;s it be them&s;elves) none of Gods creatures lo&s;e any of their na|tive beauty there. Their hou&s;es (e&s;pe|cially
<PB N="13" REF="7">in the Cities) are the be&s;t eye-beauties in the Countrie, and in co&s;t and &s;ightline&s;s, far exceed our En|gli&s;h, wanting onely their magni|ficence; Their lineing are richer too, than their out-&s;ides, not in hangings, but Pictures, which the poore&s;t there are furni&s;hed with: Not a Sowter but hath his toies for ornament: were the knacks of all their hou&s;es &s;et together, there were not &s;uch a Bartholomew-fayr in Europe. Their Arti&s;ts (for the&s;e are as rare as thought) for they can paint a fat-Hen in her fe|thers, and if you want their lan|guage, you may learn a great deal on the Signe-po&s;ts; what they are, they ever write under them; in that onely they deal plainly, and by this device, hang more hone&s;tie than they keep. Their rooms are but &s;everal hand-boxes, wherein you mu&s;t either &s;wallow your &s;pittle, or blu&s;h when you &s;ee a Mopp
<PB N="14" REF="8">brought in. Their beds are no o|ther then Land-cabbins, high e|nough to need a Ladder or &s;tairs; once up, you are walled in with wain&s;cot; and that is good di&s;cre|tion, to avoid the making wills every night, for once falling out, will break your neck perfectlie. But if you die in it, you leave your friends this comfort, that you died in clean linnen. What&s;oever their e&s;tates be, their linnen mu&s;t be fine; therefore from Am&s;terdam they have bani&s;ht Sea-coal; and lea&s;t it &s;hould &s;oil their buildings, of which the Statelier &s;ort are oft &s;ententious, and in their fronts carrie &s;ome conceit of the Author. Their hou&s;es they keep cleaner than their bodies, and their bodies than their &s;ouls. Go to one, you &s;hall finde the Andirons &s;hut up in Network; at a &s;econd, the warm|ing pan muffled up in Italian cut|work; at a third, the skimmer laid
<PB N="15" REF="8">in Cambrick. For their propen&s;ion to Venery, 'tis true, their women are not &s;o readie at a &s;purt; for neither are they &s;o generally bred to it, nor are their men &s;uch lin|nen lifters. Idlene&s;s and Court&s;hip have not bani&s;hed hone&s;ty thence. They tattle much, and do le&s;s, yet their blood runs high, and their veins are full, which argues &s;trength; and if the Court turn them Gal|lants, they will take up the cu&s;tom of entertaining Ladies: and ha|ving once done it, I believe they will be notable: for I have heard they trade more for love than money, but 'tis for the trick, not the man: and therefore when they like the labour, they will reward the work|man: otherwi&s;e their gro&s;s feed|ing and clowni&s;h education hath &s;poyled them from being nobly minded. But I give you this on bare report, experience not having made me wi&s;e. They are generally boer|i&s;h,
<PB N="16" REF="9">yet may be bred State&s;men, none of them being &s;o nice of Con|&s;cience, but they can turn out Reli|gion, to let in Policie. Their Coun|trie is their God they wor&s;hip, war their heaven, peace their hel, and the cro&s;&s;e Spanjard their Devil, Cu&s;tom is their Law, and Will their Rea|&s;on: you may &s;ooner convert a Jew, than make an ordinary Dutchman yeild to arguments that cro&s;s him. An old Fryer is &s;ooner turned Puri|tan, than a Waggoner per&s;waded not to bait twice in nine miles. His &s;oul is compos'd of Engli&s;h beer, and his body of pickled her|ring, which renders him co&s;tive and te&s;tie: the&s;e two with a little but|ter are the ingredients of a meer Dutchman, which a voyage to the Ea&s;t-Indies, by the heat of the Aequinoctial con&s;olidates. If you &s;ee him fat, he hath been cooped in a root-yard, and that hath blub|berd him. For their conditions, they
<PB N="17" REF="9">are churli&s;h, and (without doubt) very ancient: for they were bred before manners were in fa&s;hion. They &s;hould make good Ju&s;tices, for they neither re&s;pect per&s;ons nor apparel. A Boer in his butter-&s;lopps &s;hall be equally entertain'd with a Courtier in his bravery. They are &s;eldom deceived, for they tru&s;t no body; &s;o by con&s;equence they are better to hold a Fort than win it, yet they can do both. Tru&s;t them you mu&s;t if you travel; for, to call for a bill to them, is to dive in|to a Wa&s;ps ne&s;t. Complement is an idlene&s;s they were never trayn'd up in; and it is their happine&s;s that the Court hath not &s;toln away their minds: Their being Saylors and Souldiers, hath marr'd two parts al|ready; and if they be bathed once in Court-oyle, they are painted trap-dores, and &s;hall &s;uffer the Jews to build a City where Harlem-mere is, then co&s;en them of it. They
<PB N="18" REF="10">&s;hall abu&s;e a &s;tranger for nothing, and after a few ba&s;e terms, &s;cratch one another to a Carbonadoe, as they flea Rochetts. Nothing can quiet them but money and liberty, which having gotten, they abu&s;e both; but if you tell them &s;o, you awake their fury; and you may &s;ooner calme the Sea, than conjure that into compa&s;&s;e again. They are all in a manner Aquatills, and therefore the Spanjards call them water-dogs. I agree not with them, yet I think they can catch a duck a&s;&s;oon. They love none but &s;uch as do for them; and when their turne is &s;erved, neglect them. They have no friends but their kinred, which meet at every wedding-fea&s;t, like Tribes among them&s;elves. All that help them not, they hold Po|pi&s;h; and think it a piece of hone|&s;tie to raile again&s;t the King of Spain. Their &s;hipping is their Ba|bel they boa&s;t of, for the glory of
<PB N="19" REF="10">their Nation; it is (indeed) won|derful, and they will have it &s;o. But, we may well hope, they will never be potent by Land, le&s;t they &s;hew us how doggedlie they can in|&s;ult where they get the ma&s;terie. Their Navies are the &s;courge of Spain, and pills wherewith they purge the Indies. Nature hath not bred them &s;o active by Land as o|thers; but at Sea they are Water-Devills, and attempt things in|credible. Their Ships lie like high woods in winter; and if you view them on the North &s;ide, you will freeze: for they ride &s;o thick, that through them you can &s;ee no Sun. Sailors with them, are as common as beggars with us. They can rail, &s;wear, juggle, &s;teal, and be low&s;ie alike; but to examine the re&s;t, a gleeke of their knaves are worth a mourmeval of ours. All of them are Sea-men born, and like Froggs can live on land or water. Not a
<PB N="20" REF="11">thre&s;her among&s;t them, but can handle an Oare, &s;teer a Boat, rai&s;e a ma&s;t, and ken you over the roughe&s;t pa&s;&s;age. Their Govern|ment is Democratical, and there had need be many Rulers over &s;uch a rabble of rude ones. Tell them of a King, and they will cut your throat in earne&s;t; the very Name imports &s;ervitude; they &s;pite it more then a Jew doth Bacon, or a Wood-man, old-age. None among them hath any authoritie by inheritance; that were the way to parcell out the Countrie into Families. They are all cho&s;en, as we chu&s;e Aldermen, more for their wealth than their wit, which they &s;o over-affect, that mijn Heer &s;hall pa&s;s the &s;treet like an old Ape, with|out a tail after him; and if they may be had cheap, &s;hall daube his faced gown with a &s;tiver-worth of pickled herring, which him&s;elf &s;hall carrie home in a &s;tring. The common
<PB N="21" REF="11">voice hath given him pre-eminence, and he loathes it, living as when he was a Boer: but, if pardon be granted for what is pa&s;t, they are about to think it time to learn more civilitie. Their Ju&s;tice is &s;trickt, if it cro&s;s not policie; but rather than hinder tra&s;&s;ique, they will to|lerate any thing. There is not &s;uch a Denne of &s;ubtle Foxes as Am&s;terdam, there you may be what bea&s;t you plea&s;e, &s;o you pu&s;h not the State with your horns. It is an Univer&s;itie of all opinions, which grow in it confu&s;edlie; as &s;tocks in Norway, without order or pruning. If you be not &s;etled in your Religion, you may there trie all, and at la&s;t take what you li&s;t. The Papi&s;ts there mu&s;t not Ma&s;&s;e it publicklie, not becau&s;e it is mo&s;t hated, but becau&s;e the Spaniard abridgeth the Prote&s;tant; and they had rather &s;hew a little &s;pleen, than not cry quittance with the Enemie:
<PB N="22" REF="12">This is their warrant, which they retaliate ju&s;tlie; and for this rea|&s;on, rather then the Dunkerks &s;hall want hanging, Am&s;terdam, which hath none of her owne, will borrow a Hangman of Har|lem. In their Families they are all Equalls, and you have no way to finde the Ma&s;ter and Mi&s;tris, unle&s;s it be in bed together; It may be tho&s;e are they, otherwi&s;e Maulkin will prate as much, laugh as loud, and fit on her tail as well as her Mi&s;tris. Had Logicians li|ved there fir&s;t, father and Son had not &s;o long pa&s;&s;ed for Relatives, they are there whollie Individualls, for no demon&s;trance of dutie or authoritie can di&s;tingui&s;h them; as if they had been created toge|ther, and not &s;ucce&s;&s;ivelie born: the Mother bidding her Daugh|ter good-night, and ki&s;&s;ing her, is a punctual ble&s;&s;ing. Your man &s;hall be malepertlie &s;aucie, and you
<PB N="23" REF="12">mu&s;t not &s;trike him; if you do, he &s;hall complain to the States, and have recompence. It is a dainty place to plea&s;e boyes in, for the father will bargain with the &s;chool|ma&s;ter not to whip him, if he do, he will revenge him with his knife, and have law for it. Their apparel is civil enough, and good enough, but very uncomely; u&s;ually it hath more &s;tuffe than &s;hape: onely wo|mens Trinkets are commodious in winter, but 'tis pitty they have not the wit to leave them off when Sum|mer comes. Some of their women would have good faces, if they did not marre them in the making. Men and Women are &s;tarched &s;o blue, that when they grow old, you would verily think, you &s;aw old winter &s;tanding up to the neck in a barrel of blue &s;tarch. The men are tolerably clad, unle&s;s they encline to the Sea-fa&s;hion, and then their
<PB N="24" REF="13">&s;lops yawn at the knees, as if they were about unmercifully to devour their &s;hanks. They are far from go|ing naked; for, of a whole woman you can &s;ee but a piece of her face as for her hands, they &s;hew her to be a &s;hrewd labourer, which you &s;hall alwaies finde, as it were in recom|pence, laden with rings, to the cracking of their fingers: and &s;he will rather want meat, than a Cart|rope of &s;ilver, hung with keyes. Their gownes are fit to hide great bellies; but they make them &s;how &s;o un|hand&s;ome, that men do not care to get them. Marry this you &s;hall ever finde to their commendations, their &s;mocks are ever whiter then their skins, much cleaner, and far &s;weet|er. They railat us for our various change of habit, but plead for their owne more earne&s;tly than lay-Ca|tholicks for their faith, which they re&s;olve to keep, becau&s;e their Ance|&s;tors
<PB N="25" REF="13">lived and died in it. For their dyet, they eat much, and &s;pend lit|tle; when they &s;end out a fleet to the Ea&s;t-Indies, they live three moneths on the Offalis, which here would &s;urfet a &s;wine. In their hou|&s;es, roots and &s;tock-fi&s;h are &s;taple commodities. At their fea&s;ts when they have fle&s;h, they have the art to keep it hot, as long as our fleet-lane cooks do inca&s;ell'd Porke. To a Fea&s;t they come readily, but once &s;et, you mu&s;t have patience, for they are longer eating their meat, than we in dre&s;&s;ing it: You conclude Supper betimes, if you get away by day-break. It is a piece of good manners (if there be any) to carry away a piece of Apple-pie in your pocket; their time they &s;pend in eating well, drinking much, and prating mo&s;t.</P>
<P>In this progre&s;s you have &s;een &s;omwhat of their evids; now ob&s;erve them. Solomon tells us of four
<PB N="26" REF="14">things very &s;mall, but full of wi&s;|dom; the Pi&s;mire, the Conie, the Spider, and the Gra&s;ho per, and they are all for providence. They are the Pi&s;mires of the world, who having nothing but what the gra&s;s yeilds them, are (yet) for all provi&s;i|ons become the &s;tore-hou&s;e of Chri|&s;tendom. They are frugal to the &s;aving of Egg-&s;hels, and maintain for a maxime, that many an old thing mended, will la&s;t longer than a new. Their Cities are their mole|hills, whence their &s;hips and fly|boats creep and return, laden for winter with &s;tore. For dwelling in rocks, they are Comes; where have you under heaven, &s;uch im|pregnable Fortifications, where Art beautifies Nature, and Art makes Nature invincible? Indeed herein they differ; the Conies finde rocks, and they make them; and, as if they would invert Mo&s;es mi|racles, they <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter">aile them in the bo|&s;ome
<PB N="27" REF="14">of the waves of Bem&s;ters land, where within the&s;e eighteen yeers; Ships furrowed the pathle&s;s Ocean, the peaceful plow embowells the fruitful earth. For war they are Gra&s;hoppers; for they go out with|out Kings. There is not in Europe, &s;uch a Schoole of martiall di&s;ci|pline. For Indu&s;try, they are Spi|ders; and live in the Palaces of Kings: None have the like inteli|gence. Their marchants are this day the greate&s;t in the Univer&s;e. What Nation is it, where-into they have not in&s;inuated them&s;elves? nay, which they have not Anato|miz'd and di&s;covered the intricate veins of it? All they doe, is with &s;uch labour, as it &s;eems to be extra|cted out of their own bowells: and by them we may learn, that no rain fructifies like the dew of &s;weat. You would think (being with them) you were in old I&s;rael; for there is not a beggar among&s;t them: if he be
<PB N="28" REF="15">unable, he findes an Ho&s;pitall; if he would depart, hee &s;hall have mony for his Convoy; if &s;tay, he &s;hall have work. And, le&s;t you &s;hould <GAP DESC="blank" RESP="OXF" EXTENT="1 word"> in fruitle&s;s mourning, their burials end by two of the clock. Even their Bed|lam is a place &s;o curiou&s;ly kept, that a Lord might live in it: Their Ho|&s;pitall might lodge a Lady; their Bridewell a Gentlewoman, and their common pri&s;on a rich Citi|zen: But, for a poore man, it is the be&s;t refuge; for, he that ca&s;t him in, mu&s;t keep him there. Even their dwelling is a miracle: for, they live lower than the very Fi&s;h in the Lap of their floods, and incirculed in their watery camps, they &s;eem like the I&s;raelites pa&s;sing the Red Sea. Their Walls wall them in: and if they open their Sluces, they drownd their enemies. Againe, they are the Indian rats, gnawing the bowels of the Spanish Crocodiles, into which they got when they gaped to
<PB N="29" REF="15">&s;wallow them: they are the Ser|pents, wrethed about the leggs of that Elephant his almo&s;t invincible innumerable Kingly titles, they are the Sword-fi&s;h under the Whale: they are the war of that great Em|pire which increa&s;ed in I&s;abella, and when Charles the fifth was at the full. They are the Gla&s;s wherein Kings may &s;ee, that nothing makes am ore de&s;parate rebellion, than Prerogatives too far urged; that op|pre&s;&s;ion is to heat an iron, till it burn your hand; that an extream taxation, is to &s;teal away the honey, till the Bees leave the hive; that their own tyrannie is the greate&s;t enemie to their e&s;tate: that a de&s;ire of being too ab&s;olute, is to pre&s;s a thorn that will prick you; that to debarr an E&s;tate of ancient privi|ledges, is to make a &s;tream more violent by &s;topping it; that unju&s;t policie is to &s;hoot (as they did at O&s;tend) into the mouth of a charged
<PB N="30" REF="16" MS="y">Canon, and to have two bullets re|turned for one; that admonitions of a dying man are too &s;erious to be neglected.</P>
<P>To conclude, the Countrey it &s;elf, is a moated Ca&s;tle keeping two of the riche&s;t jewels in the world in it, the Queen of Bohemia, and the Prince&s;s of Orange. The people are all Jews of the New Te&s;tament and in fine have changed nothing but the Law for the Go&s;pel.</P>
<TRAILER>FINIS.</TRAILER>
<PB REF="16">
</DIV1>
</BODY>
</TEXT>
</EEBO>
</ETS>
