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<DATE>2014-02-07</DATE>
<RESPSTMT>
<NAME>Simon Charles</NAME>
<RESP>MURP</RESP>
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<ITEM>Proofed and reviewed.</ITEM>
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<EEBO>
<IDG S="marc" R="OX" ID="B21478">
<STC T="W">D2778</STC>
<BIBNO T="oclc">[ocm]12572223</BIBNO>
<VID>199240</VID>
</IDG>
<TEXT LANG="eng">
<FRONT>
<DIV1 TYPE="title page">
<PB REF="1">
<PB REF="1" MS="y">
<P>Sir Barnaby Whigg: OR, No Wit like a WOMANS. A COMEDY. AS IT IS Acted by their MAJESTIES SERVANTS AT THE Theatre-Royal.</P>
<P>Written by THOMAS DURFEY, Gent.</P>
<Q><L><HI>Quiquid agunt homines, votum, timor, Ira, voluptas,</HI></L>
<L><HI>Gaudia, di&s;cur&s;us no&s;tri farrago libelli e&s;t.</HI></L>
<BIBL>Juvenal.</BIBL></Q>
<P><HI>LONDON,</HI> Printed by <HI>A. G.</HI> and <HI>J. P.</HI> for <HI>Jo&s;eph Hindmar&s;h,</HI> at the <HI>Black Bull</HI> in <HI>Cornhil.</HI> 1681.</P>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="dedication">
<PB REF="2">
<PB REF="2">
<HEAD>To the Right Honourable GEORGE Earl of <HI>Berkeley,</HI> Vi&s;count <HI>Dur&s;ely,</HI> Lord <HI>Berkeley</HI> of <HI>Berkeley-Ca&s;tle,</HI> &amp;c.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>My LORD,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>IT was one of the mo&s;t prudent Actions of <HI>Virgil</HI>'s Life, to be&s;tow the fruits of his admired Genius, and pro&s;trate the Labours of his Honoured Mu&s;e at the feet of a more Honoured, Witty, and Learned Patron; for <HI>Mecaenas</HI> was a Man of an unbia&s;s'd, impartial, and generous nature; and knew as well how to Judge and Applaud an Ex|cellent Poem, as the Poet him&s;elf knew how to write what was fit to be Applauded.</P>
<P>This therefore cau&s;es our Modern Authors (in&s;tructed by his Wife Example) to make an humble offering of their Works to the mo&s;t de|&s;erving and knowing Men of the Age; cunningly implying, That as they have mo&s;t Wit and Judgment to find out their faults, they have al&s;o mo&s;t mode&s;ty and good nature to excu&s;e 'em.</P>
<P>Among&s;t this tribe, my Lord, I mu&s;t humbly confe&s;s my &s;elf one, and acknowledge the&s;e two Rea&s;ons for my pre&s;umption: Fir&s;t, A &s;ecret pride to have my Play grac'd with the great Name of the Honoured <HI>Berkeley,</HI> lineally de&s;cended (for many Ages pa&s;t) from the Royal Blood of the Illu&s;trious <HI>Harding;</HI> and thence flowing through the veins of One and twenty Noble Families, to the Honours he now de&s;ervedly wears, and which his Sacred Maje&s;ty could not more ju&s;tly be&s;tow. And, &s;econdly, to be impartially Judg'd, by a per&s;on who knows as well how to write, as to <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="OXF" EXTENT="1 letter">atronize.</P>
<PB REF="3">
<P>Your Lord&s;hip did me once the favour to pre&s;ent me a little book of your own Writing, Entituled, <HI>Hi&s;torical Applications,</HI> &amp;c. where he that reads may find an exact &s;erenity of Fancy, a vivacity of Wit, a refin'd Elegance in Language, and ob&s;erve it to be adorn'd with certain Jems of Morality and Divinity, and other maxims of Rational Wi&s;dom, and true Collections of Hi&s;tory, that render it a piece fit to be admired by the mo&s;t Wife and Learned, and lov'd by the mo&s;t Re|ligious and Loyal.</P>
<P>I make this little digre&s;&s;ion my Lord, not out of any in&s;olent belief, that I am fit to commend either the Book, or its Author, for that be|longs to a far better Genius and Pen, but only out of an impatient de|&s;ire to do my &s;elf Ju&s;tice in applauding you, though 'tis impo&s;&s;ible I &s;hould do you any.</P>
<P><HI>Sola virtus vera Nobilitas,</HI> is a Maxim in which <HI>Seneca</HI> and your Lord&s;hip fully agree; for would any man be Pious and Morally good, let him make you his pattern; would he be ble&s;s'd with a &s;weet, benign, and mode&s;t di&s;po&s;ition, and &s;how a perfect Character of true Nobility, un&s;way'd by the powerful vices, Pride and Folly, let him make you his pattern; Or would he be loyal and hone&s;t, a faithful lover of his King, and an unmovable Pillar of his Country, &s;till let him Copy you, and make your Actions his Examples, you that had rather be Ju&s;t than Popular; and had rather follow the dictates of a good con&s;cience, than gain the &s;ervice and applau&s;e of a numerous and potent party.</P>
<P>This, my Lord, is &s;o great and undoubted a Truth, that with the mo&s;t nice apprehen&s;ions 'tis impo&s;&s;ible it &s;hould leave the lea&s;t impre&s;&s;ion of flattery; that being a thing as difficult for me to do, as for you to endure; for all that know ye will &s;ay thus much; and therefore 'tis probable all that love ye will &s;peak much more.</P>
<P>As to this Comedy, it had the Honour to plea&s;e one party; and I am only glad, that the St. <HI>Georges</HI> of Eighty-one got a Victory over the old hi&s;&s;ing Dragons of Forty-two; 'tis a good Omen, and I hope portends future &s;ucce&s;&s;es, though &s;ome fat <HI>Whiggs</HI> of Sir <HI>Barnaby</HI>'s tribe made all the intere&s;t they could to cry it down.</P>
<P>My Lord, 'tis not only a nice, but a very difficult thing to write a good Comedy, and therefore a tolerable one &s;hould be the more excu|&s;able; for there is not only Wit, but Plot, Invention, and a quick and ingenious fancy requir'd: Fancy! the brighte&s;t Jewel of Poetry, of which the Famous <HI>Engli&s;h Spencer</HI> was the great and only Ma&s;ter,
<PB REF="3"> as we may &s;ee in all his De&s;criptions, but more particularly in his Legend of Temperance, when he &s;peaks of <HI>Mammon</HI> or <HI>Covetou&s;|ne&s;s.</HI></P>
<Q><LG N="1">
<HEAD>I.</HEAD>
<L>At la&s;t he came into a gloomy Glade,</L>
<L>Cover'd with Bows and Shrubs from Heavens light;</L>
<L>Whereas he &s;itting, found in &s;ecret &s;hade,</L>
<L>And uncouth &s;alvage and uncivil wight;</L>
<L>Of greizly heiw, and fowl ill-favour'd &s;ight,</L>
<L>His Head and Beard with Soot were ill bedight.</L>
<L>His Cole black hands did &s;eem to have bin &s;ear'd</L>
<L>In Smiths fire, &s;pitting forge, and nails like Claws appear'd.</L>
</LG>
<LG N="2">
<HEAD>II.</HEAD>
<L>And round about him lay, on every &s;ide,</L>
<L>Great heaps of Gold, that never could be &s;pent;</L>
<L>Of which &s;ome were rude Ore not purified</L>
<L>Of <HI>Mulciber</HI>'s devouring Element.</L>
<L>Some others were new driven, and di&s;tent</L>
<L>Into great Ingots, and to Wedges &s;quare;</L>
<L>Some in round Plates withouten Monument.</L>
<L>But mo&s;t were &s;tampt, and in their Mettal bare,</L>
<L>The antick &s;hapes of Kings and Kezars &s;trange and rare.</L>
</LG></Q>
<P>But this is a &s;ort of Poetry of a different nature from <HI>Drama|ticks;</HI> and therefore the fancy mu&s;t of nece&s;&s;ity vary, becau&s;e in one it is dige&s;ted into Characters, that are to &s;peak before a carping Au|dience: and in the other, perhaps, only to be read or &s;poken of before one or two per&s;ons. But &s;uppo&s;e the fancy to be good, that will not now &s;erve turn; for in this Age 'tis not a Poets Merit, but his Party that mu&s;t do his bu&s;ine&s;s; &s;o that if his Play con&s;i&s;ts of a Witch, a Devil, or a Broom&s;tick, &s;o he have but a Prie&s;t at one end of the Play, and a Faction at 'tother end of the Pit, it &s;hall be fam'd for an excellent piece. And the <HI>Mobile</HI> either encouraged by their <HI>Grandees,</HI> or treated by the Poet, &s;hall throng to it with as much zeal, as they once
<PB REF="4"> did to the Committee, when the &s;cale was turn'd, and Loyalty began to come in fa&s;hion.</P>
<P>This, my Lord, is the World, and the Worlds Nature; but you, I may boldly &s;ay, value Merit for its own &s;ake, and not through intere&s;t, or to plea&s;e a faction, you will not hi&s;s or clap a Play in the wrong place, nor u&s;e an Arbitrary Power to carry a Cau&s;e by Popular Interest or Parties: I &s;ay you will not do this, and I wi&s;h all others were of your mind. But &s;ince they are not, your Lord&s;hips acceptance and patronizing of this Comedy, is the greate&s;t Encouragement and Honour that can po&s;&s;ibly happen to,</P>
<CLOSER><SALUTE>My LORD,</SALUTE>
<SIGNED>Your Lord&s;hips obliged and devoted humble Servant, THO. DURFEY.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="prologue">
<PB REF="4">
<HEAD>PROLOGUE.</HEAD>
<SP>
<LG>
<L>HOW long, alas! mu&s;t our unhappy Stage</L>
<L>Groan for the follies of this Plotting Age?</L>
<L>When &s;hall our doubts and anxious fears have end,</L>
<L>That we may once more know a foe from friend?</L>
<L>Once more of Truth and Hone&s;ty make tryal,</L>
<L>And not be Villains thought, for being Loyal.</L>
<L>When &s;hall we &s;ee an Audience in the Pit,</L>
<L>Not &s;way'd by Factions, that will &s;ilent &s;it,</L>
<L>And friends to th' Poet, calmly judge his Wit?</L>
<L>Or when a Noble, Royal Party view,</L>
<L>That dare to mighty <HI>Cae&s;ar</HI> give his due,</L>
<L>Spite of the Numerous, Buzzing, Crop-ear'd Crew?</L>
<L>When the&s;e things happen, we &s;hall calm our fears;</L>
<L>But no &s;uch ble&s;&s;ing in the&s;e times appears.</L>
<L>Di&s;traction rages now, and th' frantick Town,</L>
<L>Plagu'd with Sham-plots, a very <HI>Bedlam</HI>'s grown.</L>
<L>Like <HI>Lunaticks</HI> ye roar and range about;</L>
<L>Frame Plots, then crack your brains to find 'em out;</L>
<L>Like <HI>Oliver</HI>'s Porter, but not &s;o devout.</L>
<L>Our City-friends too, that o're Coffee droop,</L>
<L>For fear the <HI>French</HI> &s;hould come and eat 'em up.</L>
<L><HI>Brumicham</HI>-Prote&s;tants, that rail and grieve ye,</L>
<L>With names of <HI>Ma&s;querader</HI> and <HI>Tantivy:</HI></L>
<L>That, Plagu'd with natural and &s;ubtil fears,</L>
<L>Think all the Loyal Party Dogs and Bears,</L>
<L>Run mad with Pious Zeal for th' good o' th' Nation,</L>
<L>And how to fix a godly Reformation.</L>
<L>Since then from the&s;e he ne're can hope &s;ucce&s;s,</L>
<L>To you th' Impartial Judges of Wits Ca&s;e,</L>
<L>The Poet humbly offers his Addre&s;s.</L>
<L>With you his fate's &s;ecure, and doubly ble&s;t;</L>
<L><HI>Apollo</HI>'s Synod all; and for the re&s;t,</L>
<L>That he &s;hall know both Parties, now he Glories;</L>
<L>By Hi&s;&s;es th' <HI>Whiggs,</HI> and by their Claps the <HI>Tories.</HI></L>
</LG>
</SP>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="dramatis personae">
<PB REF="5">
<HEAD>Dramatis Per&s;onae.</HEAD>
<LIST>
<ITEM><HI>Wilding.</HI> &mdash; A Loyal and Witty Gentleman, only addicted to rail again&s;t Women. BY Mr. <HI>Clark.</HI></ITEM>
<ITEM><HI>Townly.</HI> &mdash; A Modi&s;h incon&s;tant young fellow, in Love with, and beloved by all Women, and courts all alike. BY Mr. <HI>Goodman.</HI></ITEM>
<ITEM>Sir <HI>Wal. Wi&s;eacre.</HI> &mdash; An Opinionated Fool and Cuckold: A <HI>Lanca&s;hire</HI>-Knight, and in Love with <HI>Livia.</HI> BY Mr. <HI>Jermaine.</HI></ITEM>
<ITEM>Capt. <HI>Porpu&s;s.</HI> &mdash; A blunt Tarpawlin, Captain, and one that u&s;es his Sea-phra&s;es and terms upon all occa&s;ions. BY Mr. <HI>Griffin.</HI></ITEM>
<ITEM>Sir <HI>Barn. Whigg.</HI> &mdash; A Phanatical Ra&s;cal, one of <HI>Oliver</HI>'s Knights; one that always pretends to fear a change of Government yet does his be&s;t to cau&s;e one. BY Mr. <HI>Powell.</HI></ITEM>
<ITEM><HI>Benedick.</HI> &mdash; An Intriguer, and Friend to <HI>Wilding.</HI> BY Mr. <HI>Perin.</HI></ITEM>
<ITEM><HI>Swift.</HI> &mdash; Servant to <HI>Wilding.</HI> BY Mr. <HI>Co&s;h.</HI></ITEM>
</LIST>
<LIST>
<HEAD>WOMEN.</HEAD>
<ITEM><HI>Gratiana.</HI> &mdash; Witty and proud, and one that va|lues her &s;elf by railing again&s;t men. BY Mrs. <HI>Corbet.</HI></ITEM>
<ITEM><HI>Livia.</HI> &mdash; Wife to <HI>Porpu&s;s,</HI> cunning and wanton, and in love with <HI>Townly.</HI> BY Mrs. <HI>Cook.</HI></ITEM>
<ITEM><HI>Millicent.</HI> &mdash; Wife to Sir <HI>Walter,</HI> in Love al&s;o with <HI>Townly.</HI> BY Mrs. <HI>Moyle.</HI></ITEM>
<ITEM><HI>Winifrid.</HI> &mdash; A young <HI>Wel&s;h</HI> Jilt. BY Mrs. <HI>Percival.</HI></ITEM>
<ITEM>Waiters, Men and Women, Mu&s;icians, Officers and Attendants.</ITEM>
</LIST>
<STAGE>SCENE LONDON.</STAGE>
</DIV1>
</FRONT>
<BODY>
<DIV1 TYPE="play">
<PB N="1" REF="5">
<HEAD>Sir Barnaby Whigg.</HEAD>
<DIV2 N="1" TYPE="act">
<HEAD>ACT. I.</HEAD>
<DIV3 N="1" TYPE="scene">
<HEAD>SCENE I.</HEAD>
<STAGE><HI>Wilding,</HI> Captain <HI>Porpu&s;s, Benedick, Townly, Gratiana, Millicent, Livia, Winiford</HI> ju&s;t ending a Dance.</STAGE>
<STAGE>A Table, Bottles and Cards ready.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wilding.</SPEAKER>
<P>SO, Madam, now the cour&s;e is fini&s;h'd, and your &s;queaking In&s;tru|ments are &s;ilent; I hope a man may have the priviledge to re|tire and fan him&s;elf a little. <STAGE>To <HI>Gratiana.</HI></STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Gratiana.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes, and I believe without danger of a &s;econd engage|ment, unle&s;s you could promi&s;e more skill than you have &s;hewn hitherto.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay <HI>Tom,</HI> for &s;hame de&s;ert not &s;o beautiful a Partner &s;o &s;oon.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not De&s;ert her! Gad he that catches me cutting a Caper agen, I'le give him leave to cut a leg off, that I may have a maim to remember my folly by.</P>
<STAGE>The Captain is courting <HI>Winifrid</HI> all this while.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Gra.</SPEAKER>
<P>If you were to be maim'd for every folly you committed, I que&s;tion whether you could find your fellow Cripple in any Ho&s;pital in Town.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>So, there's one full hit, pray Heav'n, my friend have skill enough to defend him&s;elf.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Millic.</SPEAKER>
<P>Perhaps, Madam, Mr. <HI>Wilding</HI> (like an excellent Singer) thinks 'tis becomming to undervalue his perfection: Pray, Sir, be real: Do you not love Dancing?</P>
<STAGE><HI>Townly</HI> is Courting <HI>Livia</HI> this while.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Love it! oh extremely in a cold fro&s;ty morning, when a man has been at a true Debauch the night before: I hold it to be the only nece&s;&s;ary Diver&s;ion: Dancing, Madam! why 'tis the very glowing-brand of Luxury that kindles the temperate blood, heats and fires us till we are fit for the Modi&s;h bu&s;ine&s;s 'twas de&s;ign'd for: Then think not but I doat on it mo&s;t violently.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Pox on him, now &s;hall we have no more Dancing to night.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Millic.</SPEAKER>
<P>We Women find it otherwi&s;e; therefore value little what you think of it.</P>
</SP>
<PB N="2" REF="6">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Gra.</SPEAKER>
<P>Think of it! why, Madam, to think, is contrary to tho&s;e of his Complexion: I dare &s;wear for the Gentleman, he &s;eldom thinks of any thing, unle&s;s it be how to excu&s;e his being &s;econd in a Duel. Come, prithee come away, he's pumping for a Repartee I warrant: but it &s;hall not do Sir.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ha, ha, ha; Why how now friend?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>A commixture of pride, wantonne&s;s, and affectation hand&s;omly bound up together: Prithee what is &s;he?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>You &s;hall know that anon: but &s;ee! yonders <HI>Jack Townly</HI> courting the Captain's Lady, and the Old Tar-pawling, I think, is making tenders to my little Wel&s;h Mi&s;tre&s;s.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>The Autumn of Lu&s;t, and the blooming &s;pring of Folly met in de|&s;pite of nature.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>In de&s;pight of it indeed; but the comfort is, it cannot la&s;t long.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>No, 'tis only &s;uperficial, and extends to thought, foppery in ex|pre&s;&s;ion; but no further: An old mans Love is like Snow in Summer, always unnatural; and no &s;ooner is, but it is not; the frigid nature of the one, not agreeing with the kindly warmth of to'ther.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Once! I tell thee I do love thee: <STAGE>To <HI>Winifrid.</HI></STAGE> by <HI>Mars</HI> I do; Prithee furl thy Sails and let me view thee a little; I have no fine phra&s;es, but by <HI>Boreas</HI> I affect thee heartily, thy face, thy leg, thy &s;hape, thy every thing: When wilt thou come to the <HI>Tower,</HI> and let me &s;alute thee with the great Guns &mdash; hah? Bounce, bounce, bounce, thou &s;halt have Royal &s;port my Girl.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>I pray you Captains, of all Loves, no more of the&s;e creat 'ordes and noi&s;es; for look you, her has put a poor weak prains, and never apide creat Cuns, nor Pounce, pounce, pounce, her cannot apide pounces, look you.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Cannot her apide pounces! why her &s;all have Mu&s;icks, and Junkits, and Dances then, if her cannot apide pounces: the Kettle-Drums and Trumpets &s;hall Divert thee, my little <HI>Juno:</HI> the Eagle &s;hall clap her Wings in &s;ign of joy, and the Royal Lyon &s;hall Roar thee welcome.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ple&s;s us awl, are you mads? if her hears Lyons, her is dead: the ferq and pictures of Lyons makes her &s;woon'd, her eyes clo&s;e, and her breath Ferk, ferk, ferk, in her pelly with fits of Mothers and Fathers: I believe in my Con&s;cience, look you, the Captain's is di&s;tractious: A Lyons! ple&s;s us awl, her cannot apide the name on't.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Cads plut, her cannot abide nothing, I think: Put does her preaths and her pelly's Ferk, ferk, ferk &s;o much, does her &s;ay?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Pi&s;h, this is Simplicity's, look you, and Impertinencies. I pray you forbear, Captains.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Diddle, Diddle, Diddle, &s;he has a Tongue as glib as an Eel; but no matter, &s;he is <HI>Am&s;terdam</HI> built, and by <HI>Mars</HI> I love her for her <HI>Dutch</HI> Bottom.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Look! he has frighted her away already: I'le warrant there has bin an excellent Harangue betwixt 'em.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Blunt to &s;ome purpo&s;e, without doubt; but I believe very &s;avoury, and full of good meaning.</P>
</SP>
<PB N="3" REF="6">
<STAGE>Enter Sir <HI>Walter</HI> with Bottles in his hands, and a Girdle hung round with Bottles.</STAGE>
<STAGE>The Ladies go to a Table as de&s;igning to play at Cards, only <HI>Livia</HI> &s;tays with <HI>Townly.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Hey &s;cowr, &s;cowr my lads, and now for a Health-Royal; &s;o here my Jolly hearts, <HI>Wat</HI> is return'd in triumph; view me round boys, hone&s;t <HI>Watt</HI> has been &s;cowring for you: <HI>Watt</HI> mu&s;t have a Health-Royal ere we part, faith: Hey, bring a Dozen of Gla&s;&s;es there.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well, &s;aid Sir <HI>Walter Wi&s;eacre,</HI> gad we thought you had left us.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Left thee! what before thou wert Drunk, <HI>Bully-Rock?</HI> Prithee don't think me &s;uch an unnatural Rogue to leave thee in a &s;neaking, &s;ober con|dition: So, ho! where's this fellow? I was delay'd below by a Damn'd Ra&s;cal the Clerk of the Pari&s;h that came to me, Sir, for Church-duties; and I think I have paid him, for I took him into the Cellar, Drunk &s;ix pint Bumpers, a Health-Royal to him, tript up his heels with bonny Puntack, and left the Rogue &s;inging P&s;alms under a Pipe of Malaga.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Why God-a-mercy Clerk, y' &s;aith, and yet, Sir <HI>Walter,</HI> I &s;ee you are fre&s;h &s;till?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Fre&s;h! not concern'd I: fre&s;h as the morning, and as gay as the &s;pring; ah! I can Drink like a fi&s;h man, and hold like a Kilderkin: but, come my lads, chu&s;e, chu&s;e &mdash; what Wine you like? this is Champaign, and this is Burgundy, this Obrion, this Puntack; and here's a deer Bottle of Cohor&s;e that exceeds all.</P>
<STAGE>Turns round.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>There's a fine name now to put off pall'd Claret, and cheat the &s;ubject with.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Cohor&s;e! a Pox o' the&s;e barbarous notions, why 'tis all but Claret &s;till, and only the Vintners cheat to extort a &s;hilling in a Pottle upon account of the Prohibition.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Prohibition! peace old Water Rat; peace I &s;ay, thou can&s;t not fathom my depth old <HI>Plummet;</HI> for you mu&s;t know, Sir, that I deal with an hone&s;t, civil per&s;on, and great friend of the Governours of &mdash; no matter where: Well, Sir, he upon occa&s;ion has &s;ore eyes: Wines come <HI>Incognito;</HI> my friend breaks the Law, cheats the King, &s;teals Cu&s;tom, &s;ells me a lumping pen|niworth; and, prithee, what &s;ignifies the Prohibition? but come, every one his Bottle, and a Health-Royal I mu&s;t make you all Drunk: you know my way.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Tis not convenient to begin a match of Drinking in the Ladies company, Sir <HI>Walter?</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Gad that's true, e&s;pecially before my Mi&s;tre&s;s too; Come then, let's drink a civil gla&s;s, and retire to the next Room. Captain <HI>Porpu&s;s,</HI> here old Spunge, thou art a man of a &s;ound brain; Come, here's your Ladies Health.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not mine, good Sir <HI>Knight;</HI> begin your own Ladies, we have not had that to night.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>My Wives, Sir I'de have you know I'le have no &s;uch <HI>plebeian</HI> conjugal Cu&s;toms in my hou&s;e; be&s;ides 'twill pall the Wine, and give an un&s;a|voury reli&s;h to my mouth all the night after.</P>
</SP>
<PB N="4" REF="7">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>The pallat that's always out of ta&s;te, has no occa&s;ion to be made more in&s;ipid; and your cu&s;toms, Sir (like your Coun&s;el) are often too &s;hallow to be very taking.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Here, here, take this Bumper; prithee let me make thee Drunk, that I may once &s;ee thee in a good humour; ah that &s;he were gone once, that I might be Joco&s;e, and break a Je&s;t or two with my deer Mi&s;tri&s;s there. <STAGE>Pointing to <HI>Livia,</HI> whom <HI>Townly</HI> is talking with.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Your Servant Sir, I'le have no whi&s;pering here by <HI>Mars;</HI> I &s;hall lay you &s;hort by the Mizzen, if you think to grapple my Pinnace: therefore, hands off, this, Sir, is my Wife, and this is my Sword; my name is Captain <HI>Porpu&s;s,</HI> I drink Claret, and therefore &s;hould Di&s;pute as well as &s;he, Sir: Come, &s;tate your Que&s;tion.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Town.</SPEAKER>
<P>What que&s;tion, Sir? &mdash; Plague of his Interruption. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>What que&s;tion, Sir? why a Mathematical que&s;tion, terms of Na|vigation, Card, Compa&s;s, Lading, any thing; Come, what a Devil have you &s;een of the World, Sir? I have &s;tood and fac'd both frigid and torrid Zones, plough'd up the <HI>Bo&s;phorus</HI> like a Molehill, kindled a Torch in the Sun, &s;hot both the Gulfs of <HI>Venice</HI> and <HI>Florida,</HI> and &s;een the Navel of the World, you Scoun|drel.</P>
<STAGE>Sir <HI>Walter</HI> &s;tarts.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ha, ha, ha, a plea&s;ant humour, y' faith.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Prithee Captain leave this blu&s;tering: Gad thou ha&s;t got &s;o ma|ny Damn'd, cramp, hard Sea-words, they are enough to fright an hone&s;t Country Gentleman out of the Company.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Millic.</SPEAKER>
<P>Madam we want ye to make one at Looe.</P>
<STAGE>They &s;it down to play.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>A Tarpawlin, a rude Sea-fellow, you mu&s;t not mind him man; but, dear <HI>Jack,</HI> do&s;t thou remember what I told thee to day concerning my Wife?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Very well Sir; but faith I wi&s;h you would chu&s;e &s;ome other man, for my mode&s;ty is always &s;o offenfive if I am to &s;peak to a Woman.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Mode&s;ty! alas poor fellow: I'le tell thee what I'le do then, I'le make thee Drunk; prithee let me, I love it, I delight in't man: I make a dozen or two Drunk every day; get but Drunk, and then Boy, never doubt thy con|fidence; for a Collegian once intoxicated, is the mo&s;t impudent creature that ever I met with.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>And are not you then guilty of a great Imprudence to tru&s;t me with your Wife?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not at all man, not a Jot; for though to me &s;he be pall'd, nay to my grief a Wife all over; yet, Pox on't, I know &s;he's hone&s;t, for &s;he's a great Churchwoman.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>A Churchwoman!</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ay.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Never the hone&s;ter for that, to my knowledge.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Wa<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="OXF" EXTENT="1 letter">t.</SPEAKER>
<P>Alas, poor &s;oul, &s;he prays continually; and as for her Virtue, &s;he keeps that &s;ecure, clo&s;e &s;hut up in a Pur&s;e; the great Devil, her pride, pulling at one &s;tring, and Doctor Tickle-text the to'ther.</P>
</SP>
<PB N="5" REF="7">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well, Sir, you may command my &s;ervice in any thing. Was ever &s;uch a Coxcomb? </P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Peace, not a word more, we are ob&s;erv'd. &mdash; Come, a Song there: What &s;ay'&s;t thou, Captain? Do'&s;t love a Song?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ay, a Battel, a Siege, a Storm, or &s;o: Sing a Song that has &s;ome &s;en&s;e in't, and perhaps I may conde&s;cend to bear a Bob my &s;elf.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay, then we &s;hall have charming-&s;tuff.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>We have not had a good bold well-&s;ea&s;on'd Song, as Gad &s;ave me, &s;ince Old <HI>Broom</HI> dy'd: 'Woon's we can get nothing now-a-days but <HI>Phillis</HI> and <HI>Chloris,</HI> and <HI>Celia,</HI> and the 'tother Whore in the <HI>Strand,</HI> that was kept by 'to|ther Fop, &s;o long, till at la&s;t &s;he was forc'd to keep him, Gads bud: Why now a Storm, a Sea-fight, or &s;uch a Song wou'd delight a man. &mdash; Sbud there's both Body and Soul in't; and a Pox on <HI>Phillis</HI> and <HI>Chloris,</HI> they were both Strumpets, I warrant.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Friend farewell, my patience is outworn, and I mu&s;t begone, I am like a fi&s;h out of the water; methinks I ga&s;p for breath, and grow &s;ick by being &s;o long out of my Element.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay, faith, you mu&s;t not &s;tir without me.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>I &s;hall never forget a frolick we had about Twelve years ago: I was then Captain of the <HI>Succe&s;s,</HI> Heav'n ble&s;s her, &s;he was a brave Ship: ah how &s;he wou'd &s;cud in the Winds Eye, and have made the Sea foam again after a Broad|&s;ide: by <HI>Mars</HI> I never think of her lo&s;s, but the pearly Dew falls from my Eyes.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ha, ha, this is ridiculous enough.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>To think what a Fighter &s;he was; how &s;he wou'd &s;poom along; top-&s;ails a trip; and then the be&s;t Saylor in the World: 'tis a &s;trange thing, Gentle|men, I have known that Ship &s;ail tightly when &s;he has had above Forty Cul|vering Bullets in her; all &s;hot through betwixt Wind and Water.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>How, how Sir! betwixt Wind and Water?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>All betwixt Wind and Water, as Gad &s;ave me: Ah you are Pilchers to me in Sea-affairs: Well, &s;he was riding at <HI>Soll-Bay,</HI> 'twas ju&s;t before the &s;ight there (wherein I did &s;uch notable &s;ervice); I had then a Lieutenant aboard, a little Dapper fellow, but as &s;tout as <HI>Hercules;</HI> and when we met a nights in the great Cabbin over a Jolly bowl of Punch, the Rogue wou'd &s;ing us the fine&s;t Sea-Songs, and &s;o Roar 'em out: I think I've a fellow can remember one of them. Sing &s;irrha.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<FLOATEXT LANG="eng" TYPE="song">
<HEAD><HI>SONG.</HI> A STORM.</HEAD>
<LG>
<L>BLow <HI>Boreas,</HI> blow, and let thy &s;urly Winds</L>
<L>Make the Billows foam and roar:</L>
<L>Thou can&s;t no Terror breed in Valiant minds,</L>
<L>But &s;pite of thee we'll live and find the &s;hore:</L>
<PB N="6" REF="8">
<L>Then cheer my heart, and be not aw'd,</L>
<L>But keep the Gun-Room clear,</L>
<L>Though Hell's broke loo&s;e, and the Devils roar abroad;</L>
<L>Whil&s;t we have Sea-room here boys, never fear:</L>
<L>Hey, how &s;he to&s;&s;es up, how far!</L>
<L>The mounting Top-ma&s;t toucht a Star:</L>
<L>The Meteors blaz'd as through the Clouds we came,</L>
<L>And <HI>Salamander</HI>-like we live in Flame.</L>
<L>But now we &s;ink, now, now we go</L>
<L>Down to the deepe&s;t &s;hades below.</L>
<L>Alas! where are we now? who, who can tell,</L>
<L>Sure 'tis the lowe&s;t Room of Hell,</L>
<L>Or where the Sea-gods dwell?</L>
<L>With them we'l live, with them we'l live and raign;</L>
<L>With them we'l laugh and &s;ing, and drink amain:</L>
<L>But &s;ee we mount, &s;ee, &s;ee we ri&s;e again.</L>
<L>Though fla&s;hes of lightning and tempe&s;ts of rain</L>
<L>Do fiercely comend which &s;hall conquer the Main;</L>
<L>Though the Captain do's &s;wear, in&s;tead of a Prayer,</L>
<L>And the Sea is all fired by the Demons of the Air:</L>
<L>We'l drink and defie, the mad &s;pirits that fly,</L>
<L>From the deep to the skie,</L>
<L>And &s;ing whil&s;t the Thunder do's bellow;</L>
<L>For Fate &s;till will have a kind fate for the brave,</L>
<L>And nere make his grave of a &s;alt water Wave;</L>
<L>To drown, drown, never to drown;</L>
<L>No, never to drown a good fellow.</L>
</LG>
</FLOATEXT>
</SP>
<SP>
<P>There now! there's life, there's &s;oul, there's &s;en&s;e: as I'm a living man, Gentlemen, the Rogue fox'd me three times, one after another, only by &s;inging this Song.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Gra.</SPEAKER>
<P>Now, Madam, your Lady&s;hip owes me fifteen.</P>
<STAGE>The Ladies are all this while at the Table playing at Cards.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>But five indeed, Madam, your Lady&s;hip was Loo'd la&s;t Deal upon my Blaze.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Gra.</SPEAKER>
<P>I beg your pardon, Madam, 'twas my Cozen here.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Upon my Souls, look you, her is not Loo'd; her had the good Kings guarded, and won two or three tricks indeed.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Gra.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay, prithee do not wrangle, I &s;wear thou art the wor&s;t player at Cards.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Heav'n deliver my Souls! is her di&s;tractious? was not her flu&s;hes of Clubs upon her la&s;t Deal? be&s;ides a Mournivals of Queens, and another of Knaves, for thirty Counters, be&s;ides the fifteen her Lady&s;hip ow'd her? What does her Lady&s;hip think her will lo&s;e thirty Counters, look you?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Millic.</SPEAKER>
<P>By no means &mdash; but pray let us give over now, for my part I am tyr'd.</P>
</SP>
<PB N="7" REF="8">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>And I faith.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Millic.</SPEAKER>
<P>Come Ladies, there's very good Wall fruit in the Garden, pray let's take a turn or two.</P>
<STAGE><HI>Exeunt</HI> all but <HI>Wilding,</HI> Sir <HI>Walter Benedick.</HI></STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Now follow her <HI>Jack</HI> now; dear <HI>Jack,</HI> this is a rare opportu|nity.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>This is an odd humour, faith, what intreat <HI>Townly</HI> to follow his Wife?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>There is &s;omething more in it than I under&s;tand, but the fool is leaky as a Sieve; I am &s;ure he can keep no &s;ecrets, we &s;hall know all.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Come, my hearts, 'tother dozen Bottles, and then we &s;hall be fit for the bu&s;ine&s;s of the night; Pox on't, 'tis &s;o long &s;ince I was Drunk, that I'm as dull as a Country Student, poring upon <HI>Littleton;</HI> Hey boy, bring the Wine there.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Why you have &s;poil'd the Drinking-match, Sir <HI>Walter,</HI> by letting <HI>Jack Townly</HI> go.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ay, he's &s;o true a Son of <HI>Bacchus,</HI> he'l do every one Rea&s;on, Gad I'le go fetch him back.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Gad but you &s;hall not though, by your favour, for to my know|ledge he's bu&s;ie; he's engag'd with my Wife.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ingag'd with her! what a Devil does the fool mean?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>What! &s;ome Plot or other now I warrant: here's &s;ome Intrigue going forward, in which he is to be Agent: What an unnatural Rogue art thou to keep this from thy friends? Come, come, Di&s;cover.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Why then, the truth is, I have an excellent de&s;ign on foot, but 'tis impo&s;&s;ible you &s;hould fathom any thing of it, unle&s;s you were better ac|quainted with with my humours.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Humours! why, prethee, what are thy Humours?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Why, you mu&s;t know, Sir, that I am famous over the Town for two topping humours: look you; for making people Drunk, that's one; and making Cuckolds, that's another.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Two very pretty topping humours, faith.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>You know 'tis fa&s;hionable for a man to be famous for &s;omething; be&s;ides, I have the be&s;t Diver&s;ion in the world by it, for they reach to all quali|ties and con&s;titutions; for if I meet with a young modi&s;h Fop, there I plea&s;e one of my humours, and make him Drunk: If with a &s;ober, grave, judicious, married Coxcomb, then I plea&s;e my 'tother humour.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>And lye with his Wife? &mdash;</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>I do &s;o; I do y' faith, is't not fine? this la&s;t has been my humour many years.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>If I had a mortal aver&s;ion to Women, I could never think 'em &s;o notorious to con&s;ent to this.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Pox, a lye's as natural to him as Non&s;en&s;e.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Come, y' are both my friends, and I think I may tru&s;t you with my &s;ecret: know then, that at this in&s;tant I have a violent pa&s;&s;ion for a Lady, another mans wife.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>So, I knew we &s;hould have it. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<PB N="8" REF="9">
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>But as the Devil wou'd have it, Jealou&s;ie, that Canker of Wed|lock, that <HI>Aquafortis</HI> of Matrimony, that eats and eats &s;o damnably, till it hath devour'd all the love betwixt man and wife; incites, Sir, my plaguy Spou&s;e ju&s;t in the nick to interpo&s;e betwixt me and my de&s;ign.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Gad that was very unlucky indeed, e&s;pecially in &s;uch a juncture.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Juncture! &mdash; nay we had joyn'd, and joyn'd agen long before this, if it had not bin for that man: Now, Sir, I had no way to help my &s;elf, but by having Recour&s;e to my cunning; and, by the way, let me tell you, Gentlemen, I do po&s;itively believe I am the mo&s;t cunning per&s;on that ever breath'd: &mdash; I &s;hould ha' made a &s;winging Politician if I had but a Memory.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Your large ear and wry no&s;e always &s;ignifie thought, Sir <HI>Walter.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>For thinks I to my &s;elf, Love will root out love, and Company often diverts Jealou&s;ie; and if I could oblige &s;ome young and hone&s;t friend, who by pretending love to her, would amu&s;e her a little; I might pro&s;perou&s;ly carry on my Intrigue abroad, and &s;he be diverted, and re&s;t very well &s;atisfied at home.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>So that you would expo&s;e your own Wife to the Addre&s;&s;es of &s;ome young Gallant, that you your &s;elf might have liberty to Debauch another mans?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ay I wou'd &s;o; Is't not a good one? and may I never more warm me by tho&s;e fair eyes I &s;o adore, if this &s;pring clearly from my own natu|ral wit, my own invention by this light? Is't not an odd method?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ay, the Devil take me, is it as ever I heard of.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well, after a great deal of con&s;ultation whom to tru&s;t in &s;o weighty a bu&s;ine&s;s, I pitch'd upon <HI>Townly,</HI> but with a great deal of caution fir&s;t; for, <HI>Jack</HI> (&s;ays I) have a great care <HI>Jack</HI> of handling Ca&s;es about my Wife that does not concern you: &mdash; Yes, &s;ays <HI>Jack,</HI> demurely: (you know his way). And agen, &s;aid I, <HI>Jack</HI> be &s;ure that you are not too forward in pre&s;&s;ing my Wives con|&s;titution beyond her fidelity; no, &s;ays <HI>Jack,</HI> agen with a great deal of inte|grity, before Gad.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Is <HI>Townly</HI> a mode&s;t fellow, or does he only wheedle this fool?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Mode&s;t! Pox on him, I knew a Surgeon that cur'd him of two Claps when he was at <HI>Cambridge.</HI></P>
<STAGE><HI>Gratiana</HI> and <HI>Livia</HI> return, and walk over the Stage.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Uds &s;o, here are the Ladies! I mu&s;t wait on 'em home; Dear &s;ouls, you mu&s;t pardon me, and have a little patience, I mu&s;t be civil to the Ladies: he little thinks the Captain's Lady here is the Per&s;on I adore &s;o much. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Sir, I have a Coach at the door, and &s;hall need no Ceremony.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay you &s;hall be both Drunk long enough before night, I war|rant you: you know my humour, Ha, ha.</P>
<STAGE><HI>Exit</HI> with Ladies.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ay, enough of it to know thee for a damn'd Coxcomb.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>And Cuckhold; I hope by this time, or <HI>Townly</HI>'s an Eunuch.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>The Rogue is as conceited as a Dancing-Ma&s;ter; and though he be the <HI>Vulcan</HI> of &s;en&s;e, yet thinks him&s;elf the <HI>Apollo</HI> of it.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>I have ever ob&s;erv'd, 'tis as impo&s;&s;ible for an affected per&s;on to be a man of wit, as for a mercenary Bawd to turn hone&s;t.</P>
</SP>
<PB N="9" REF="9">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Or a good Poet to be Religious.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>'Tis &s;o; but, prithee, what is that prink'd-up creature that went out with <HI>Livia</HI> ju&s;t now?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh I was about to tell thee before; She's my Lord <HI>Lofty</HI>'s Daugh|ter, a rich Heire&s;s, <HI>Tom,</HI> and a va&s;t fortune, and one that fanta&s;tically loves to rail at men, as much as thou do&s;t at women: you two would make an excellent match; faith I'd have thee go and court her.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>I would, if I thought my words could have influence enough upon her to make her hate her &s;elf.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>What a &s;trange humour thou art of; becau&s;e one woman was fal&s;e and jilted thee, is it infallible that the whole Sex are &s;o?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>The whole Sex, by Heav'n (if you love 'em): be&s;ides, the pa&s;&s;ion it &s;elf is fooli&s;h and unmanly: Love is the &s;ickne&s;s of the mind; a man has his Ague and Feaver both at once, and often de&s;pairs of remedy for either.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Thus like a &s;ick man you think no Dyet good, becau&s;e your Sto|mach's naught: Well, I thank my Stars, the con&s;titution differs with me; I can di&s;tingui&s;h the great ble&s;&s;ing of mans life, and in a pious zeal thank Pro|vidence for its bounty. Beautiful Women were ever my Tutelar and Guardian Angels, that give me an a&s;&s;urance of being ever happy in this world, and immor|tal in t'other.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>A Coxcomb in t'other.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Prithee no more of this; a young brisk fellow, newly an Heir too, and Po&s;&s;e&s;&s;or of a plentiful E&s;tate, who&s;e good old Father was &s;o gratefully civil, to dye orderly, and in good time, that thou might'&s;t inherit, to &s;tand at defi|ance with the only ble&s;&s;ing of life, Women: I am a&s;ham'd of thee.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>'Twould be more advantage to thee to be a&s;ham'd of thy Mi&s;tre&s;s; for if thou art not jilted, I am mi&s;taken in her; She'l &s;hew thee a Wel&s;h trick &s;ometime or other.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh, I'le venture that: hark 'e, wilt thou go with me, and &s;peak to this Lady?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>She that went hence now.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ay, I'd have thee rally her a little.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well Sir, I'le give her a hearing, if &s;he be not too impertinent.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Come on then, I'le introduce thee.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Swift.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>How now! what noi&s;e is that below, &s;irrha?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Swift.</SPEAKER>
<P>Sir <HI>Barnaby Whigg,</HI> Sir, has been railing again&s;t his Nephew, Sir <HI>Wal|ter,</HI> for having ne'r a Musquet in's hou&s;e.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>Whigg</HI> is his name? Oh, I believe I know him, a huge fat fellow, one of <HI>Oliver</HI>'s Knights.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>The &s;ame, and the mo&s;t bu&s;ie, &s;editious Coxcomb alive, one that will be &s;ure to Bet when he &s;ees the be&s;t Trump, but ever &s;huffle and cheat, if fortune be again&s;t him.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>In all turns of State, change his Opinion as ea&s;ily as his Coat, and is ever zealous in Voting for that party that is mo&s;t Powerful.</P>
</SP>
<PB REF="10">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>They of his Tribe &s;ay, theirs is the Church-Militant; but I &s;ay Mo|ney is both their God and King, and the greate&s;t Zealot among&s;t them for the &s;ake of the Popes Golden Slipper, &s;hall not only ki&s;s his Toe, but eat it, as the &s;tory goes of the hungry Spaniel.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>If I mi&s;take not, this fellow values him&s;elf extremely by playing on the Mu&s;ick.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh yes, but the Town of late has us'd him &s;o unkindly, that he has left it off, and now &s;ets up for a grand Politician.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter Sir <HI>Barnaby Whigg.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barnab.</SPEAKER>
<P>A care<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="OXF" EXTENT="1+ letters">&s;s Villain &mdash; he &s;hall not own the blood of the <HI>Whiggs</HI> that neglects his Countrey thus: &mdash; ne'r a Mu&s;quet a Rogue &mdash; in this Popi&s;h Age too, and but one Sword, na<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="OXF" EXTENT="1 letter">, and in a family of &s;ixteen People upri&s;ing and down-lying &mdash; a Dog &mdash; a Ra&s;cal &mdash; but one Sword?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Now Sir <HI>Barnaby,</HI> pray why this anger?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>There's rea&s;on for't, Sir, as times go: how does your good Fa|ther, or rather your good Mother, Mr. <HI>Wilding?</HI> her zeal did once fructifie and increa&s;e, to my knowledge: Come, &s;he was a good Woman &mdash; a Son of a Whore, ne'r a Dagger neither, nor a Ca&s;e-knife &s;harp at end &mdash; nor nothing &mdash; not &s;o much as a Pen-knife?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>You &s;eem di&s;turb'd, Sir, pray what news abroad?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Only we are lo&s;t, undone; that's all Sir; and (like faggots) the bands of zeal being broken, mu&s;t fall hudling to de&s;truction &mdash; a Pox upon him, ne'r a Mu&s;quet?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>How, to De&s;truction, Sir!</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Come, come, things go ill, Mr. <HI>Wilding,</HI> things go ill; you have not Bulk enough to bear State-matters, or el&s;e I could tell you in your ear that &mdash; how do you rate this Beaver, good Mr. &mdash; a &mdash;?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>At a friends acceptance, Sir: have you a mind to't?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>No, no, not I by no means, not I: the Hat's well made though: I knew your Father long ago, Mr. <HI>Wilding;</HI> he was always a free, generous &s;oul indeed &mdash; but (betwixt you and I) would not be rul'd: he would &s;till be on the wrong &s;ide: Come, come, he lov'd the King too well; had he not lov'd the King, he had been a brave fellow.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Otherwi&s;e called a Ra&s;cal.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Come Sir, you are all mi&s;-led, and will be all pickled ere long; I can tell you, that if our &s;oul-&s;aving Party do not &s;ettle the Nation, I &s;ay 'twill track, 'twill unhinge &mdash; whip you 're gen, old Antichri&s;t will have your Lands and Bodies, and the Devil your Souls.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Your &s;oul, I hope, will be in no great danger however, Sir.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>No, not mine, I never carry mine about me: mine's always in the heart of the City &mdash; in <HI>Lumbard &s;treet.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>The Rogue has once in his life &s;poke truth.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Incorrigible Villain! but I have made an Ob&s;ervation, That Fana|tici&s;m Intoxicates like Wine, and has much the &s;ame effects: For as a true Drunkard cannot keep a &s;ecret, but mu&s;t make &s;ome di&s;covery, &s;o your true Presbyter never talks of State-affairs without a Tang of Trea&s;on.</P>
</SP>
<PB N="11" REF="10">
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>I was ye&s;terday with an A&s;trologer, a learned man, and one of our Tribe, and (Lord ble&s;s us) he tells me we &s;hall have a Famine.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>A Famine! why, that's wor&s;e to you than Damnation.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>'Tis &s;o, as Gad &s;ave me, I &s;woon'd away twice at the very apprehen|&s;ion on't; and had not a Suppo&s;e brought me &s;ome comfort, on my Con&s;cience, had dyed: A Famine! Mercy on us; Come War, Pe&s;tilence, Fire, Sword, any thing but that; the Gut-Plague is &s;ure more terrible than all tho&s;e of Egypt.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>This Epicure I &s;ee never con&s;iders life any further than the plea|&s;ure of eating and drinking.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Were matters carried well, we &s;hould have none of this; no Meteors, nor Comets, nor Pe&s;tilences, were not our &s;ins Contagious; were faith and frugallity among us, no hungry Tu&s;cany-Stars would threaten neither: There's an Old &s;aying, <HI>The Devil promi&s;es like a Merchant-man, but performs like a Man of War:</HI> 'Twas not &s;o in the ble&s;&s;ed year of 48, to my knowledge; I &s;ay no more &mdash; but &mdash; would I were at the Helm.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>So, Trea&s;on agen! you at the Helm! yes, of a Ship I would thou wert, to be thrown off, and plung'd to the bottom for a Mutinous Traytor.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ha &mdash; what the loud Traytor to a man of my kidney? a Portly, Jolly, Fat man; a man of Faith and Belly: Away fool, 'tis your lean, your &s;craggy fellows that Plot mi&s;chief; if the Pope him&s;elf had been a fat fellow, he had been hone&s;t.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes, as your Noble Ance&s;tors the <HI>Su&s;&s;ex Whiggs</HI> were, or that Cur&s;ed Crew your Brethren of the <HI>Am&s;terdam</HI>-hou&s;e, that cool their Coffee with the Breath of Rebellion, and hourly damn them&s;elves by Whi&s;pering Trea&s;on.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Come, Sirs, here's the Kings Health: Long live his Sacred Maje&s;ty: kneel down, and ca&s;t your Bonnet.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not I Sir, you mu&s;t &s;pare me: I never kneel (not I) but to pray: be&s;ides, I can drink no Healths, I am in a Milk-Dyet for the Scurvy.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>For the Pox I believe; Come Sir, it mu&s;t be done, therefore un|cover, and kneel.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Sir, we never uncover, 'tis not our method; we never u&s;e any Ceremony: with my Hat on &mdash; Let him live &mdash; But &mdash;</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Let him live &mdash; But &mdash; the&s;e are rare Ra&s;cals.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>A word more of Refu&s;al, and my Sword &s;hall pare that body of thine into &s;hape.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well Sir, I &s;ubmit: But, Sir, tell not me: I under&s;tand my &s;elf: Moles (though blind) can hear: let him live; but I wi&s;h for the Nations &s;ake &mdash; I wi&s;h my Council. &mdash;</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>What! more muttering of Trea&s;on? your Council?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well, I acquie&s;ce: <STAGE>Drinks.</STAGE> I am &s;ilent: you will awake when the Sword's at your throats; you will I &s;ay, and repent this prophane drinking of Healths; and &s;o farewell t'ee.</P>
<STAGE><HI>Exit</HI> Sir <HI>Barnaby Whigg.</HI></STAGE>
</SP>
<PB N="12" REF="11">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ha, ha; I knew there was no way to &s;ilence him but this: but &s;ee! <STAGE>Enter <HI>Townly</HI> and <HI>Millicent.</HI></STAGE> here's <HI>Jack Townly</HI> coming with Sir <HI>Walter</HI>'s Wife: Come, faith 'tis uncivil to hinder an Intrigue; prithee let's go.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Tis almo&s;t time now to vi&s;it the Lady <HI>Lofty:</HI> I long to &s;ee you two rail a Court&s;hip out.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>I'le be as good as my word, faith.</P>
<STAGE>Exeunt.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>The Captain's Lady &s;ay you, Madam?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Millic.</SPEAKER>
<P>She Sir, the beautiful <HI>Livia.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>What! in love with me?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Millic.</SPEAKER>
<P>I know not what you call in love; but, to my knowledge, &s;he was lavi&s;h in her Commendations of you ju&s;t now in the Garden; &s;igh'd and look'd pale if your name were mention'd: and the&s;e are &s;igns of &s;omething extra|ordinary.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Kind <HI>Chance:</HI> She's the per&s;on I love more than Health: But I mu&s;t &s;ift her further, this may be a trick. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
<P><STAGE>To <HI>Millicent.</HI></STAGE> 'Tis a ble&s;&s;ing, Madam, I am not ambitious of, &s;ince the charms of your Wit, Beauty, and Conver&s;ation, are to me all that can be extraordinary.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Millic.</SPEAKER>
<P>Mine! Sir, you have but an ill &s;tomach if you can &s;ub&s;i&s;t with the thin dyer I can afford you: I am of a Volatile temper, and only admit of this Gallantry of yours for the &s;ake of the mirth it brings with it: but the Cap|tain's Lady has a pa&s;&s;ion for you, langui&s;hes, loves you; therefore if you would &s;hare in my applau&s;e, go in&s;tantly, and Addre&s;s to her: A young Gallant &s;hou'd (like a Tow'ring Falcon) fly at all games: I hate a dull, &s;neaking, con|&s;tant, tire&s;ome fellow, that pins him&s;elf to one Ladies train, and will &s;pend 14 long hours in prai&s;ing the Dew on her under-lip, or the colour of her &s;hoo|&s;trings, whil&s;t &s;he is all the while cur&s;ing her company, and heartily wi&s;hes him hang'd.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>What a Devil does &s;he mean by this? S'death I was never &s;o puzzl'd in my life. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Millic.</SPEAKER>
<P>In a word Sir; if you would purcha&s;e my good opinion, go and court this Lady: Come, I command you to do it: perhaps I have &s;ome rea&s;on for't.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay, you know, Madam, I want power to deny any Commands from you: Let me con&s;ider a little.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Millic.</SPEAKER>
<P>So, it begins to take, and by this means I &s;hall get my Husband a Rival, too hand&s;ome, not to be belov'd as well as he. Whether <HI>Livia</HI> loves <HI>Townly,</HI> or no, I know not: Commend him &s;he did, and that may in time in|duce Love. &mdash; Well Sir, have you thought?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>I have, Madam, and for your &s;ake will Addre&s;s to her: I will &s;torm her ears with a peal of Rhetorick: acco&s;t her with a number of whining, amo|rous phra&s;es.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Millic.</SPEAKER>
<P>And all lyes: Well Sir, &s;he's now at the Lady <HI>Lofty</HI>'s: go, and get your Coach ready, and about half an hour hence I'le meet you there.</P>
<STAGE>Exit <HI>Millicent.</HI></STAGE>
</SP>
<PB N="13" REF="11">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Of all Intrigues that ever I knew, this is the mo&s;t quaint and plea&s;ant: Here o' one &s;ide is a fanta&s;tick husband, that courts me to court his wife: On the other &s;ide, his wife commands me to addre&s;s to another Lady, and (luckily) to the very per&s;on I love equal to my &s;oul: Gad I think I'me a happy fellow: what &s;he de&s;igns by engaging me thus, I know not, but am re|&s;olv'd to proceed for the &s;weet &s;ake of variety. One, I am inform'd, loves me, and therefore mu&s;t be courted; and the other is not inexorable, but may be courted.</P>
<LG>
<L>And where two Beauty's in compliance move,</L>
<L>The Devil's in that man that pines for Love.</L>
</LG>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
</DIV3>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 N="2" TYPE="act">
<HEAD>ACT II.</HEAD>
<DIV3 N="1" TYPE="scene">
<HEAD>SCENE I.</HEAD>
<STAGE>Enter Sir <HI>Walter, Gratiana</HI> and <HI>Livia.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>SIR, I am now &s;o happy to tell ye your trouble is at an end; I am at home. &mdash;</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Wou'd my wits were at home too, that I might make a decent repartee &mdash; your Servant, Madam, 't no trouble.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Your Lady&s;hip has a very, <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="OXF" EXTENT="1+ letters">etty apartment here, Madam.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>Small, but convenient, yet &s;hall henceforth have a greater &s;hare in my E&s;teem, becau&s;e you like it, Madam.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>A Plaguy &s;harp-witted creature, this, Gad, I'me almo&s;t afraid to &s;peak to her, &s;he always runs one down &s;o confoundedly.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Your Lady&s;hip does me too much honour.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>For my part, I hate a Lodging next the &s;treet; the Coaches|keeps &s;uch a perpetual Ratling, one had as good live in a Mill.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>I think the&s;e are private enough, Sir.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Private as Virgins thoughts, Madam. &mdash; Ah, this would be a rare place for my humour.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>What's that, Sir, to game in?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>No, to be Drunk in, Madam; that's my humour; 'tis the Talent of all the <HI>Wi&s;eacres;</HI> our family has been famous for't above this Five hundred years.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>I think you give a bottle, Sir, for the Cre&s;t of your Coat.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>No, Madam, we give no Bottles, we drink off all the Bottles &mdash; we give the Cap of Fortune for our Cre&s;t.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>Otherwi&s;e called the Fools Cap. &mdash; <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Sir <HI>Jollyno&s;e Wi&s;eacre,</HI> my Great Grandfather, Madam, was the fir&s;t man that bore it; and my Father Sir <HI>Toby Wi&s;eacre</HI> being a Favourite at Court, got it adorned with three Golden Bells in humour and imitation of the City-Cap of Maintenance.</P>
</SP>
<PB N="14" REF="12">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>How I hate this Fop, that has nothing but dull Repartee, and vented in defiance of Wit and good Language. Madam, when the Gentleman's &s;tory is ended, I &s;hall expect you in the Garden.</P>
<STAGE>Exit <HI>Grat.</HI></STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>What a whim&s;ical creature is this &mdash; She's never two minutes in a humour.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>She's always unea&s;ie, Sir, in mens company.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>What, not love a man! Alas poor Animal, &s;he's mi&s;erable enough, faith &mdash; Not love a man! why &s;he lo&s;es the only ble&s;&s;ing of her Creation.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Rather &s;ay &s;he reaps the only ble&s;&s;ing, for Love in this age is as much &s;ophi&s;ticated as Wine, and I think has as malignant effects.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Madam, the Wine I drink your Health in, is always un&s;ophi|&s;ticated, and &s;o is the Love I bear you; I am compounded, Madam, of no|thing but Love and Wine; my heart is a meer Bunch of Grapes, from whence you may pre&s;s the fir&s;t running, lu&s;cious Juice, together with the true &s;pirit of affection unpall'd, or uncorrupted.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>There is nothing more corrupted than the love that Wine creates; therefore 'tis impo&s;&s;ible you &s;hould love well, that are &s;o grand a profe&s;&s;or in drinking.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh the better for't, for you mu&s;t know, Madam, I'me a &s;neak|ing dog when I'me &s;ober &mdash; but I make Love like a <HI>Turk</HI> when I'me drunk.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Like a <HI>Turk</HI> indeed, for nothing but a <HI>Seraglio</HI> of women can then &s;erve your turn; and if I am not mi&s;taken, your Lady has Jealou&s;ie enough to re&s;ent &s;uch actions.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay, Gad, a Country-Copes, that has married a Player, cannot be more jealous; that's the truth on't: but I care not this for't; I laugh at it, faith, and that &s;o mads her: be&s;ides, I have now laid a &s;nare for her: I &s;et <HI>Jack Townly</HI> to court her, that &s;he may have the le&s;s lei&s;ure to di&s;turb my pa&s;&s;ion for you: Did you prai&s;e him to her this afternoon, as I de&s;ired you, Madam?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Extremely Sir, and left 'um alone in her Clo&s;et; Ha, &s;ee yonder they come.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ay, 'tis &s;o, I &s;ee the Rogue <HI>Townly</HI> follows my in&s;tructions: Well, adieu dear Madam, &s;he mu&s;t not &s;ee us together; what, &s;o familiar already &mdash; Gad my de&s;ign goes on rarely.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Though the Love I had for this fool is vani&s;ht, yet I am re&s;olved to comply with him a little, if it be only to revenge my &s;elf on his Wife for being jealous of me: here &s;he comes.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Townly</HI> and <HI>Millicent.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>Always thus retired, Madam, and melancholy; &s;ure this &s;olitude mu&s;t needs be prejudicial to your health; nay, and not only to your &s;elf, but me, and all your friends, that lo&s;e the plea&s;ure of your company: Come, I have in|gag'd Mr. <HI>Townly</HI> here to wait on ye, hand&s;ome Mr. <HI>Townly:</HI> one I a&s;&s;ure you, that is the mo&s;t agreeable, mo&s;t obliging, and be&s;t company of any man in Town.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Your Servant, Madam, I hope your Lady&s;hip will prove this to her, for my part I am dumb.</P>
</SP>
<PB N="15" REF="12">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>I know the Gentleman too well, Madam, to be ignorant of his per|fections; I know he di&s;cour&s;es Elegantly, Dances finely; then his carriage is ea&s;ie and courtly, be&s;ides a mo&s;t excellent quality he has in Singing.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>So, &s;he has found out a quality for me that I never knew in my felf, faith, that's Singing, for the Devil of any thing I can &s;ing but the Ballad of <HI>John Dory:</HI> and oh the wretched damn'd Sham-plot, <HI>&amp;c.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>Pray ob&s;erve, Madam, what a delicate &s;hape he has; what an attra|ctive langui&s;hing; and then the prettie&s;t leg and foot &mdash; O <HI>Venus</HI> &mdash; but 'tis in vain for me to prai&s;e him. <STAGE>Apart to her.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>'Tis as Sir <HI>Walter</HI> inferr'd, &s;he does love him; <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE> and then, look Madam, he has the fine&s;t moulded face, the mo&s;t taking features and graces; and each limb about his per&s;on &s;o particularly graceful, that were I a woman of that brisk, free humour to entertain a Gallant &mdash; &s;weet Mr. <HI>Townly</HI> &s;hould be the man I would prefer before the world.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>Her freene&s;s in his Commendations declares her love to him: and thus far my de&s;igns has happy &s;ucce&s;s. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Though I was not &s;o happy as to hear the la&s;t of your Di&s;cour&s;e, Ladies; yet, faith, I gue&s;s 'twas all in prai&s;e of me; for 'tis a vanity natural to us men, that when any one is commended by the Company, whatever whi&s;per ari&s;es afterwards, is imagined to be only a pur&s;uance of the fir&s;t applau&s;e, and therefore it is requi&s;ite I make &s;ome return &mdash; Hum &mdash; hum &mdash;</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Come Sir, begin, then we'l &s;tand ye fairly.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Fir&s;t for you then, Madam, <STAGE>To <HI>Livia.</HI></STAGE> your Eyes are the glittering Deities that command all hearts &mdash; And your Skin &mdash; &s;moother than <HI>Ve|nus</HI> Doves, and white as Innocence &mdash; And you, Madam, <STAGE>To <HI>Millic.</HI></STAGE> have a voice &s;o ravi&s;hing &s;weet, that Angels peeping down to li&s;ten to it, would think the Mu&s;ick of their &s;pheres a di&s;cord, and then each feature has &s;o much of Divinity in't: oh Heaven! And for your part, Madam, <STAGE>To <HI>Livia.</HI></STAGE> na|ture out did her &s;elf when &s;he fram'd you, your Face is the Epitome of <HI>Elizium,</HI> a delicate fore head, high, &s;mooth, and white; a little &s;traight no&s;e, a breath Ro&s;y and refre&s;hing; a pretty, ruddy, &s;oft, round, dewy, melting under lip; and &s;uch a hand, &s;o white, &s;o plump, &s;o little, and the fin|gers &s;o round, long, &s;traight, and &s;mall &mdash; d's death, &s;uch a &s;ight has power to make a man of four&s;core chatter, and frisk about the room like an over-grown Monkey.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill. <HI>and</HI> Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ha, ha, ha.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>For your &s;ake, Madam, <STAGE>to <HI>Mill.</HI></STAGE> I could &s;acrifice my own life, and for you, Madam, <STAGE>to <HI>Livia</HI></STAGE> another mans; &s;hould you be offended with me, <STAGE>to <HI>Mill.</HI></STAGE> I &s;hould hang my &s;elf, or &s;tab my &s;elf, or poy&s;on, or drown my &s;elf; and &s;hould you, Madam, <STAGE>to <HI>Livia</HI></STAGE> I &s;hould hang, &s;tab, poy&s;on, and drown my &s;elf altogether.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>And &s;he mu&s;t be a very unrea&s;onable per&s;on that expects more: but, Sir, in return of your Gallantry.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>No returns, I befeech you, Madam; nay, faith, take a little pity on me now, you &s;ee I am out of breath: be&s;ides, to deal faithfully with ye, the weights of my Wits are all run down, and the Clock, by con&s;equence, mu&s;t awhile &s;tand &s;till.</P>
</SP>
<PB N="16" REF="13">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>So, &mdash; now they are ingaged &mdash; I'le &s;trait away, and cunningly, by &s;ome means or other, inform my husband of her treachery to him, and love to this new Rival.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>'Tis a &s;ign you &s;poke on an unplea&s;ing &s;ubject, you el&s;e doubtle&s;s could have held out longer.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Rather, Madam &mdash; the greatne&s;s of the Theme di&s;abled me only through a mode&s;t apprehen&s;ion of my defect in expre&s;&s;ions, when they &s;hould be &s;o divinely employed.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>What, is my Lady gone?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>I hope &s;o, faith; &s;he's a very well-bred per&s;on, and I &s;ee under|&s;tands manners: And now, Madam, behold at your feet a man that loves you more than his immortal part, his &s;oul.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay, if Railery come to love once, the je&s;t is gone.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>My Lady <HI>Millicent</HI> did me the honour to inform me of &s;ome ex|pre&s;&s;ions of yours in favour of me; each &s;yllable of which is engraven in my heart; nay, the very thought of it has tran&s;ported me ever &s;ince.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>My Lady <HI>Millicent</HI> inform him &mdash; What &s;hould this mean? Com|mend him, 'tis true, I did, but 'twas more on her account than my own; and why &s;he &s;hould let him know it, is to me a wonder.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Relea&s;e your Martyr from the Rack, dear Madam, and pronounce him happy.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Are you really then &s;o mi&s;erable a creature as to love me?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Love ye, Madam, I do mo&s;t infinitely, but can never be mi&s;erable, becau&s;e 'tis impo&s;&s;ible you can ever be cruel.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>D'ee believe &s;o?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ay, and have all the rea&s;on in the world for't, faith; you can no more be unnaturally rigorous to a young Lover, than you can pa&s;&s;ionately dote upon an old Husband.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>A very fine, &s;weet-natur'd opinion you have of me, Sir.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Gad I think &s;o.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>That to expel all unnatural cruelty, would oblige me to Cuckold my Husband by the way of Je&s;t.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>No, faith, I meant by the way of Earne&s;t; I hate Je&s;ting mortally in &s;uch ca&s;es.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>And are not you a leud fellow for this &mdash; a damnable leud fellow? Come, &s;peak.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Why, faith, I am &s;o &s;o &mdash; indifferent; we are all mortal, Madam, and &s;ubject to frailties; but I have this comfort, Gad, I &s;in brave and nobly; and like a generous Robber, if I do venture damning, 'tis for a prize of value: Pox, I hate a &s;neaking Crime, it gets a man no credit.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>An agreeable fellow this is; and if <HI>Millicent</HI> had known the real worth of the Jewel &s;he Ironically commended, I que&s;tion whether I &s;hould have had the fir&s;t refu&s;al.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>I wait your doom, Madam, in a cold &s;weat, Mercy, I be&s;eech ye.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>If I &s;hould take you into grace now, and prevent the approaching
<PB N="17" REF="13"> Ague and Feaver, are you &s;ure you could be mo&s;t pa&s;&s;ionately con&s;tant.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Stedfa&s;t as a Rock, Madam, fixt firm, not to be moved; I!</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>And will you &s;ay your Prayers every Morning and Evening, and thank Heaven for the timely ble&s;&s;ing?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ay, upon my Soul will I, with more zeal than ever I pray'd in my life.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well, let me &s;ee you in the Park this evening, and then a Mi&s;tre&s;s, or no Mi&s;tre&s;s, a match, or no match; you &s;hall know my mind, mum, &mdash; not a word &mdash; yours &mdash; bow and make your <HI>Exit:</HI> very well.</P>
<STAGE>Exit <HI>Livia.</HI></STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>So, I find I mu&s;t bend my neck to the yoke, if I intend to plough in the Soyl, for &s;he means to u&s;e me as the <HI>Turki&s;h</HI> Prince&s;&s;es do the <HI>Ba&s;&s;a's;</HI> fir&s;t make them their &s;laves, that they may afterwards be fit to be their husbands: but come what will, Love is my Captain, and I mu&s;t forward now.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Benedick.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>What, <HI>Jack,</HI> art thou mi&s;&s;ing when there is &s;uch excellent &s;port yonder?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>What &s;port, prithee?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Betwixt <HI>Wilding</HI> and my Lady <HI>Gratiana;</HI> he has &s;o teiz'd her yon|der in the Garden, and there has been &s;uch bitter Je&s;ts between 'um, that now &s;he has quitted the place: Hark! I believe here they come; prithee ob&s;erve 'um a little, I am now in pur&s;uit of my little <HI>Wel&s;h</HI> Mi&s;tre&s;s, or I would keep thee company.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>The Scene mu&s;t be plea&s;ant, for he rails as much again&s;t Women, as the greate&s;t Men: but I have no time to throw away at pre&s;ent.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Gratiana,</HI> follow'd by <HI>Wilding.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>Is there no place free from impertinence? I'me re&s;olv'd I'le change my Lodgings to morrow; I'le rather exclude my &s;elf from all &s;ociety, than be thus tormented.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Mode&s;t &s;en&s;e is ever thus &s;lighted &mdash; 'tis the noi&s;ie follies that are receiv'd, and take with your true women: Nay, there's &s;o much indignity in ye, that ye are often de&s;titute of common civility; and again&s;t all rules of breed|ing, &s;hun a per&s;on that only makes ye an innocent vi&s;it.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>A Fop, like a mad dog, &s;hou'd ever be &s;hun'd, there's danger and in|fection in his company.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>A Fop! I &s;ee your Lady&s;hips fancy quickens extremely; I be&s;eech you, how long have you and your &s;ex profe&s;s'd &s;o much wit.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ever &s;ince you and yours lo&s;t it: what think you, Sir? does it not become me rarely?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Faith, no, 'tis not &s;een enough; you &s;hould &s;pot your face with it, in|&s;tead of your patches, if you would have it di&s;cerned.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>I thank ye, and &s;o I &s;hould have you and your humourous brother Coxcombs continually buzzing about me to pick 'um off again.</P>
</SP>
<PB N="18" REF="14">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>If we were upon any Treacherous de&s;ign, I confe&s;s we might have occa&s;ion; for a womans wit, like a Lawyers, is never con&s;iderable, but when ab&s;olutely bent to do mi&s;chief.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>Then there's &s;ome applau&s;e due to us however: But I &s;wear 'tis otherwi&s;e with you men, for you ever commit mi&s;chief without wit.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>To our &s;elves indeed, when we can be &s;o weak to admire a piece of white point, a varni&s;ht skin, and a corrupted heart; that indeed is mi&s;chief without wit.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>And yet I have &s;een a per&s;on that has &s;et up for a wit, wear his &s;tockins out with kneeling, and ki&s;s the dirty Glove of a tawdry creature in the 18 penny Gallery, though the Owl had a charming wife of his own, who&s;e for|tune a week before purchas'd him a Barony.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay, 'tis true, the Devil has power over us &s;ometimes; but if ever I lo&s;e more blood in lo<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="OXF" EXTENT="1 letter">ing of a woman, than I can get again with drinking a bottle, I'le give him leave to execute the wor&s;t of his malice, and make me the fir&s;t example.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>A dear ble&s;&s;ing to women, for none &s;ure can be &s;orry when a di&s;|ea&s;e leaves her.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Pretty indifference! d's death, do not I know you cannot &s;ub&s;i&s;t without us? you would all dye like cramb'd chickens of the Pip, were it not for us men.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>You wou'd not only dye, but be damned, were it not for us wo|men. <STAGE>Pa&s;&s;ionately.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>No, we &s;hould be as free as Air, our bo&s;oms calm, &s;erene, and undi|&s;turb'd, as Infants &s;leep, or peaceful Innocence. &mdash; Ah, 'tis the life of Angels, the only happy e&s;tate; a woman, Gad, is the unnece&s;&s;ary Parenthe&s;is of Nature.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>And a man without that woman is a &s;illy Cypher: Mark me, Sir, a Cypher! that perhaps, when a material figure is added, may make a con&s;idera|ble &s;um; but alone is &s;till a cypher, and &s;ignifies ju&s;t nothing.</P>
<STAGE>Exit <HI>Smiling.</HI></STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>So, I have got much by railing &mdash; very much: If I could have been worded to death, I had, ere this, been pa&s;t the help of Doctors. &mdash; How now! who have we here? what, my old Spunge of Rebellion! is he un&s;hakled &s;till?</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter Sir <HI>Barnaby.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh, Sir, have I found you &mdash; you are one of tho&s;e that believe nothing &mdash; you fear no harm, not you; you are of the Tory-party, let the peo|ple be hang'd, you care not &mdash; the Nation is &s;ecure, you &s;ay: but, come Sir, I &s;hall undeceive ye &mdash; oh impious Age, I &s;hall convince you, Sir, I &s;hall.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Thy Ravens voice perhaps may bode ill fortune, but as yet I know none: Come, what's the matter now?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Matter! rare matter &mdash; why, we are ridden, &s;pur-gail'd, Jayl'd; the <HI>Turk,</HI> the <HI>French,</HI> the <HI>Moors,</HI> nay the very Devil will have us: Oh that ever the Noble family of the <HI>Whiggs</HI> &s;hould live to &s;ee this day &mdash; we are be&s;et, the Ene|my is coming &mdash; and yet we are a&s;leep: we are &s;urrounded, and &s;hall be con|founded: ah (Gads woons) (forgive me for &s;wearing) it was not &s;o in <HI>Oliver</HI>'s time.</P>
</SP>
<PB N="19" REF="14">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>No, your villanous de&s;igns then kept you waking.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>The&s;e wicked times keep us more waking; the wi&s;e fraternity, together with my &s;elf, as boldly, as pithy and politickly have now given our ad|vice; but I fear in vain &mdash; no &s;atisfaction, no return; no, though I have pen'd it my &s;elf, and were I rightly rewarded, de&s;erve &mdash;</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>To be hang'd &mdash; for an audacious and impudent Libeller &mdash; what you, for&s;ooth, are griev'd, and yet not for your &s;elf, but for the Nation? why, how dare&s;t thou judg of Government? though of no more brain or birth than the Calf of the Shambles, yet you would be a States-man; and if each pa&s;&s;age &s;uit not with your judgment, the times go ill; all's lo&s;t, you'l mutiny; a &s;neaking, &s;tig|matized, accur&s;ed crew, drawn lean by vice, or like thee &s;woln and bloated.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>I bloated! what, becau&s;e &mdash; I am plump, plump, a man of kidney, or &s;o &mdash; I bloated.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Villains, that can rail at Monarchs, and not blu&s;h, upbraid him by who&s;e Clemency you live, that fearle&s;s lets you indulge your horrid Trea&s;ons, nouri&s;h the mu&s;ty &s;eeds of Old Rebellion, &s;o &s;ure a guard is Sacred Royal Vertue; ye &s;oule&s;s In&s;ects, ye rotten &s;heep, that fir&s;t your &s;elves, and then infect a Nation.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Have you done yet? I think the Devil's in the fellow, he'l give no man leave to rail but him&s;elf: Sir, you talk largely, you do Sir; and let me tell you, though I am fat, I dare fight, Sir, &mdash; I can foyl as good a <HI>George-a-Green</HI> as your &s;elf: but more of that as occa&s;ion &s;hall permit; and to let you &s;ee you do only chatter Magpye-like, without thinking, there's the Paper with all the Wi&s;e mens hands too't &mdash; Now read, and then judge; the wit and method I compos'd my &s;elf.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Wit &mdash; why thou double Traytor, dar'&s;t thou a&s;&s;a&s;&s;inate that too &mdash; thou contrary to Wit as Loyalty.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Have I no wit? what! and have fin'd for Alderman; that's fine indeed &mdash; Come, read Sir, we &s;hall have the note changed pre&s;ently.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>A plague on your Wit and Method; here's not a line but tends to Villany.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Sir, I &s;hall not be a&s;hamed to own it; there's no man there that will hide his face upon occa&s;ion.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>To &s;tir up Rebellion, and wound the bo&s;om of his Country.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter the Captain.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>The be&s;t &s;port, the be&s;t voyage &s;ure that ever man had.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh, here's the Captain now to be another &s;pectator!</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>If he be a wi&s;e Captain, he will be of our &s;ide.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Mr. <HI>Wilding</HI> &mdash; Sir <HI>Barnaby,</HI> prithee old Boy tack about to Wind|ward, and harken to me: Sailing a hunting this morning, we had not Cruzed above a League or two, but we found a Hare a-ground.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Tell not me of Hares, Sir, &mdash; if you had hunted a Bi&s;hop out of the Nation, I &s;hould have &s;aid &s;omething t'ee.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>'Tis but manners though to hear him out, Sir, by your favour.</P>
</SP>
<PB N="20" REF="15">
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Hear him you may, but 'tis impo&s;&s;ible to under&s;tand him; for he &s;tuffs a &s;tory &s;o full of Sea-terms, the Devil him&s;elf can't tell what he means.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Sir, may I never enter the <HI>Straits</HI> mouth agen, if it was not the be&s;t &s;port that ever man &s;aw: Oones he's for nothing, not he, but railing at Govern|ment, and cheating the People.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Right, nor will have any reward but hanging: Come, pray Sir, let me hear it, I love it; you have been a hunting, you &s;ay.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>I Sir! and as I was &s;aying we had not Cruzed above a League or two, but we found a Hare a-ground.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>A Hare! &s;o, Sir.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Finding her thus, we pre&s;ently turned her a-drift; and then &s;he &s;tood off, and the Dogs &s;tood after, and we &s;tood after the Dogs; We&s;t Sou-We&s;t, Tail and End.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>We&s;t, Sou-We&s;t, the Sea-Calf thinks he's on Ship-board.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>After this, Sir, the Hare luff't, and the Dogs weatherd her agen; and then a &s;tiff gale blowing, &s;he bore &s;wiftly round us, and we went after large Top-&s;ails a trip, though one of our hearts of Gold making a &s;hot at her, rak'd her fore and aft; then, Sir, &s;pringing a Leak, &s;he bore down to the hedge; and there powdering in, we all boarded her: but, as the Devil would have it, my hor&s;e running &s;wiftly a-head, Gads bud, I tumbled over-board.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ha, ha, ha.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Did not I tell thee what a Tarpawlin-&s;tory we &s;hould have?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Tis better than your &s;crowl here, however, and has more &s;en&s;e in't.</P>
<STAGE>Tears the paper.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Sen&s;e! why, does this Tun of mouldy Garbadg pretend to &s;en&s;e? Harkee, Guts, dare&s;t thou drink a Gallon, the Kings Health; Load the great Cannon, or ungrapple a Fire-Ship? if not, thou'rt a Ra&s;cal, and draw.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well, Sir, when I have drunk a Gallon, I can draw.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Would I had thee a Ship-board to excu&s;e the boys penance, and be lickt for a fre&s;h wind: what a &s;tirs here with Religion! Come, if you are that godly per&s;on you &s;ay, ye are to follow me, and make one at a Bowl of Punch; I find Lime-Juyce and Brandy.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not I Sir, I hate all Heathen Liquors.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Then if thou lov'&s;t Chri&s;tian Claret, come &s;up with me; I make a Collation to night, and invite my friends; and in plain terms, if you'l come, you &s;hall be welcome.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>What, my Club I warrant: well, for their &s;akes I may chance to vi&s;it you; and &s;o farewell.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>I'le go too, but upon another de&s;ign: Sir, I'le wait on you.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Benedick</HI> and <HI>Winifrid.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>One pretty &s;mile will recover all yet: come, I know this is but feign'd, thou art too well bred to be ill-natur'd.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Upon my Souls &mdash; her is well enough preads to take cares and cauti|ons of being cozen'd: look you, Shentlemens have creat deals of lyes and frau|dulences
<PB N="21" REF="15"> now a-days, and cheats poor Maids out of honour and virginities: ple&s;s us all.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>By Heaven he has not a grain of human nature in him that could wrong thee; believe me, and be grateful: by this dear hand I love ye like my &s;oul.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Like your Souls &mdash; Ay, that is fine falcity and equivocations: Look ye now, for you, Shentlemens, always loves your peddies petter than your own &s;ouls, a thou&s;and times.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>I would &s;acrifice my body for a kind look from thee.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>I heard a Lords once &s;ay &s;o much to a pegger-wench, I vow.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Imagine &s;ome Action that may be meritorious, and then lay your Commands upon me.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Her cannot commands, look you: <HI>Winny</HI>'s hearts and po&s;oms is too &s;oft and tender to u&s;e Exerci&s;es of Di&s;cipline: Will her make Po&s;itions and Oaths, that her can be mo&s;t confoundedly con&s;tant. &mdash;</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Mo&s;t zealou&s;ly.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>And will her weep, and &s;igh, and langui&s;h, and kneels at her feets one, three, four and twenty hours to wheedle her &s;elf into her pa&s;&s;ionate affe|ction and good cra&s;es.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>I'le &s;igh enough to rai&s;e a Storm at Sea, and weep another de|luge.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>I pray you of all Loves then, weep now, for there is nothing in the creat 'orld that mollifies <HI>Winny</HI>'s hearts and bowels, &mdash; &s;o much as tears and weep|ing. &mdash; I pray you, Sir, begin: now weep, I be&s;eech you weep.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Now am I &s;uch a dry Dog, I cannot &s;queeze a drop out to &s;ave my life &mdash; Pox on't, I have forgot my Onion too.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>In her own Country, that is, cood <HI>Montgomrey-&s;hire;</HI> the Lovers will whine, and houl, look you, and make ferry ugly faces for whole days together: Come, let me &s;ee, do's her weep?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>I mu&s;t do &s;omething; I be&s;eech ye, Madam, do not make me too much unman my &s;elf. <STAGE>Howling out.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Upon my &s;oul here is waters upon her cheeks: that's true, this is no di&s;&s;imulation; ferry good, ferry good: weep on, I pray you, till night, but be &s;ure come not from your knees, it will be preparations for Love and Pa&s;&s;ion: look you, and then her will vi&s;it you again, and ple&s;s you with &s;ome brave con&s;o|lation and advices: Ha, ha, ha.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Con&s;olations and advices &mdash; 'death, this Jilt plays upon me; I find it now, but, Gad, I'le after her, and tell her my mind more plainly &mdash; for I &s;ee there's nothing to be done by fair means with any of that Country.</P>
</SP>
</DIV3>
<DIV3 N="2" TYPE="scene">
<PB N="22" REF="16">
<HEAD>SCENE II.</HEAD>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Townly</HI> and <HI>Livia.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>THis is the &s;trange&s;t adventure, Madam, that ever &s;urpriz'd a Lover: Are you the charming per&s;on that Sir <HI>Walter</HI> adores?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>He tells me &s;o, Sir, and for who&s;e &s;ake he has ingag'd you to ad|dre&s;s to his wife.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Why, faith, I mu&s;t needs &s;ay he has been very civil to me in that point: But I am &s;o much a man of honour, I never de&s;ert the per&s;on that has fir&s;t ingaged me: I never change parties &mdash; not I.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not if you have the odds of your &s;ide, I believe, Sir; and yet a Command from my Lady <HI>Millicent</HI> would make you venture hard.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>A &s;mile from you would make me venture much more; I know not what influence &s;he may have upon me: but heaven keep you in a loving humour, or l'm afraid I &s;hall never dye decently in my bed: Ten to one I &s;hall &s;wing to th' other World with a &s;ilken &s;tring of your colours.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>And what a pitiful object will that be to the female &s;pectator &mdash; to &s;ee &s;o proper a man, and &s;o con&s;tant a Lover, hang dangling like a Puppy out at a Garret-window.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Gad it will be a mo&s;t di&s;mal, melancholy &s;ight, that's the truth on't: then for you to be attainted of Homicide &mdash; how can you hope to be &s;av'd?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>By pleading not guilty, Sir; for if the Devil and you fall out about the purcha&s;e &mdash; and you happen to be &s;u&s;pended by the by &mdash; how do's this con|cern me? am I culpable? &mdash; But, come &mdash; to prevent effu&s;ion of Chri&s;tian Lovers blood &mdash; for once I will be merciful.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ah ble&s;&s;ing, and ten thou&s;and Joys, and tran&s;ports on thy heart for't &mdash; Gad it came very &s;ea&s;onably, for I was ju&s;t a falling into a &s;wound for fear of a repul&s;e, I was &s;eeking out for the Bottle of <HI>Mirabilis:</HI> but now all my di&s;orders vani&s;h, and this heavenly Cordial retrieves my di&s;&s;ipated &s;pirits, and makes me all over Exta&s;ie.</P>
<STAGE>Ki&s;&s;es her hand.</STAGE>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter Sir <HI>Walter.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>My Wifes words have vext me, 'tis true, but &s;he &s;peaks no|thing but the effects of Jealou&s;ie.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Confu&s;ion! &mdash; what &s;hall I do now? a bottle of <HI>Mirabilis</HI> would be very nece&s;&s;ary in this juncture, whatever 'twas in t'other.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>What's this I &s;ee? As I'm a true Son of <HI>Bacchus,</HI> here they are,
<PB N="23" REF="16"> he kneeling and ki&s;&s;ing her hand: here's fine work; I'm bob'd &mdash; down-right bob'd, fool'd, made a Chou&s;e &mdash; a double Cuckold, as Gad &s;ave me: Nay, nay, do not leave him, Madam, &mdash; the Son of a Whore, your Gallant, there &mdash; has more to &s;ay to ye yet: More, more, much more.</P>
<STAGE>She flings away, and <HI>Exit.</HI></STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>I have a thought &s;prung up however, and I hope 'twill pro&s;per.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Your &s;ervant, Sir, &mdash; Pray, with &s;ubmi&s;&s;ion to ye, give me leave to ask ye a que&s;tion: Are not you a Ra&s;cal, Sir? Ha &mdash;</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>A Ra&s;cal, Sir!</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ay, a Ra&s;cal, a Traytor, a Villain, any thing; nay, I &s;hall come home to ye, if you provoke me.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Pray hold, Sir.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Sir, I &s;hall not hold, Sir, &mdash; I am mad, and I will fight; you have wrong'd me &mdash; and abus'd your friend; and, now I think on't, I will beat you damnably: &mdash; And, now I think on't again, I will con&s;ider fir&s;t &mdash; Ah, mo&s;t abomi|nable Varlet what, two at once: Come, come, prepare.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Prepare! for what, Sir?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>To be kill'd, Sir, only to be di&s;&s;ected, anatomized like a <HI>Chiche|&s;ter</HI> Cock-Lob&s;ter, or &s;o; that's all. &mdash;</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>All in the Devils name: &mdash; But pray, Sir, do but hear me &s;peak.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>No, Sir, not till I've <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="OXF" EXTENT="1+ letters">t your throat, Sir; 'tis not my way; when I have done that, you may have the priviledge to &s;peak what you plea&s;e.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay if you are &s;o re&s;olute, I mu&s;t not dye defencele&s;s: Come, &mdash; come on, Sir.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Come on, Sir, come you on, Sir; &mdash; what a Pox, &s;ure I under&s;tand what I have to do: &mdash; But hark you <HI>Jack,</HI> to argue coolly now upon this mat|ter: Come, put up; Was I &s;o obliging to cau&s;e an intimacy betwixt thee and the wife of my own bo&s;ome? and would'&s;t thou affront me and her &s;o much, nay be &s;o ungrateful &mdash; &s;o fal&s;e, &s;o treacherous, to de&s;ert her, and &s;eek to corrupt my Mi&s;tre&s;s?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Your Mi&s;tre&s;s!</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ay, Sir, my Mi&s;tre&s;s, the Idol of my &s;oul, the Cordial of my heart, the Light of my eyes: My Mi&s;tre&s;s! what a Pox, do you que&s;tion that? Come, draw, Sir, draw.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well, Sir, you &s;ee I dare draw; but a&s;&s;ure your &s;elf, I was igno|rant of your being concerned here; and my bu&s;ine&s;s with her, was only an hum|ble &s;uit, that &s;he would do me what good offices &s;he could in commending me to your Wife.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>And was that all, faith? What a Dog am I now to abu&s;e &s;o hone&s;t a fellow. Come, put up agen: But was that all, faith, &s;wear, bounce out a &s;winger by way of confirmation.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>By the God of Love, and the more Cele&s;tial Beauty of that Divine Creature, your Wife &mdash; I &s;wear. &mdash; Pray Heaven this lye don't choak me. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Why, look now &mdash; what a Dog am I &mdash; Deed <HI>Jack</HI> I beg thy par|don: I am &s;omewhat ha&s;ty. &mdash; But I only make an offer, or &s;o; &mdash; I would not have fought with thee for all my je&s;ting.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>I do believe thee, I <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="OXF" EXTENT="1 letter">aith, <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<PB N="24" REF="17">
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Millicent.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>Either my ears deceiv'd me, or I heard my husbands voice &mdash; Ha, 'tis &s;o, yonder he is, and <HI>Townly</HI> familiarly talking with him; nay, then I &s;ee my Plot has taken little effect &mdash; I'le &s;tand a&s;ide and li&s;ten.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>To morrow, <HI>Jack,</HI> I'm oblig'd to wait on my Mi&s;tre&s;s, there|fore be very careful in addre&s;&s;ing to my Wife.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well, Sir, &s;ince you will have it &s;o. &mdash;</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>His Mi&s;tre&s;s &mdash; rare Gentlemen.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>I'le vow the Dome&s;tick Animal at home is grown &s;o jealous of late, there's no enduring her.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>'Tis pity, Sir, &s;he has that fault; &s;he's very hand&s;ome.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>I, were &s;he but another mans wife, &s;he were a ble&s;&s;ing; but the Devil's in't, &s;he's mine: <HI>Jack,</HI> &s;he's mine; I'm fed up with an everla&s;ting di&s;h of Mutton; ye&s;terday &s;he was Mutton, to day &s;he's Mutton, and to morrow &s;he will be Mutton; and for a man to feed eternally upon Mutton, &mdash; a Pox on't, 'tis unrea&s;onable.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Sir, though &s;he be Mutton to you, &s;he's Veni&s;on to another man; every look from her is a delicious banquet; and a man mu&s;t, as you &s;ay, be her husband to be cloyed with it.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Come, we &s;hall find her at the Ma&s;querades to night; then, dear Rogue, do but wheedle her finely, and thou wilt oblige me for ever.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>If I fail, let me be an Eunuch; &s;o I think I'm a lucky fellow.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Millicent.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>Is it for this then I have been &s;o con&s;tant? for this have &s;lighted &s;till the young and brave, and like <HI>Penelope,</HI> kept my tempted vertue, maugre the vice of this deluding age: nay, does my beauty de&s;erve only this? My <HI>May</HI> of blood would give my cheeks a blu&s;h, greater than would appear on proof of Infamy, did he but know I had an Imperfection. And am I &s;lighted thus? thus left &mdash; &s;old to another, and by my husband too &mdash; whom I have lov'd &mdash; far, far beyond his merit. Teach me then, ye Powers, Revenge, and Jealou&s;ie in|&s;truct an injur'd woman: 'Tis done &mdash; <HI>Townly</HI> &s;hall be the man; I'le in&s;tantly write to him, and let loo&s;e all my Charms to retrieve him from <HI>Livia.</HI> Then &s;hall my husband find too late, that Marriage &s;hould have a reli&s;h of Love, as well as Duty.</P>
<LG>
<L>For may I prove the fool that he de&s;ign'd,</L>
<L>If I make not him the greate&s;t of mankind.</L>
</LG>
<STAGE><HI>E<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="OXF" EXTENT="1 letter">it.</HI></STAGE>
</SP>
</DIV3>
<TRAILER>Finis Actus Secundi.</TRAILER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 N="3" TYPE="act">
<PB N="25" REF="17">
<HEAD>ACT. III.</HEAD>
<DIV3 N="1" TYPE="scene">
<HEAD>SCENE I.</HEAD>
<STAGE>The Captains Hou&s;e.</STAGE>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Townly</HI> with a Letter.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<LG>
<L>HAppy the man, mo&s;t happy mu&s;t he prove,</L>
<L>That lives like me, crown'd with &s;ucce&s;s in love.</L>
<L>A thou&s;and ble&s;&s;ings wait on his De&s;ires;</L>
<L>Bli&s;s glads his heart, and kind Occa&s;ion courts him.</L>
<L>Beauty, the Godde&s;s of the Univer&s;e,</L>
<L>Unarms her killing eyes, and meets him equal.</L>
<L>Whil&s;t fierce Delights, and Joys profu&s;ely given,</L>
<L>Shoot through, and almo&s;t cloy his Soul with Heav'n.</L>
</LG>
<P>Was ever Luxury in love like mine? What! two at once? and two &s;uch Beauties as <HI>Livia</HI> and <HI>Millicent?</HI> By heav'n 'tis too much, and I grow jealous of my happine&s;s; and yet my A&s;&s;ignation with the fir&s;t, and this Letter from the la&s;t, confirms the certainty. Well, if this be not a fal&s;e &s;crowl &mdash; my hone&s;t friend Sir <HI>Walter</HI> mu&s;t excu&s;e me in a certain punctilio about his Wife; I &s;hall never be able to keep Covenants; Gad I mu&s;t beg his pardon.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Millicent.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>Who&s;e pardon is this you are &s;o zealous to beg, Sir? and what Co|venants are the&s;e that are &s;o difficult for you to keep?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Tho&s;e betwixt my heart and you, Madam; and therefore of whom &s;hould I beg pardon but you? for though you have charm'd me with the pro&s;pect of tran&s;porting hopes, yet &s;o frail is humane nature; and I, among&s;t the re&s;t, &s;o faulty, that my &s;oul hovers in the Purgatory of doubt, not know|ing what I de&s;erve, nor whither I am to go.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>A great proof of your de&s;ert, Sir, may be made by your &s;ervice; and we, women, like Merchants, gue&s;s a &s;ervant's Merit by his fidelity &mdash; let me &s;ee! Have you been careful in the fir&s;t point, and kept my Letter &s;afe?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Safe! Judg you el&s;e: 'twas here quilted in my Coat, next my heart, and done up with as much care as a Mi&s;er does his broad Gold, when he's afraid of robbing.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>And de&s;ign'd to be &s;ent as a Trophy to your new Mi&s;tre&s;s <HI>Livia.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>My new Mi&s;tre&s;s!</P>
<P>Jealou&s;ie &mdash; good &mdash; <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<PB N="26" REF="18">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>I vow I heard you were under the Surgeons hands for a &s;trange brui&s;e in your knee, occa&s;ion'd by your ince&s;&s;ant kneeling to her.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Gad I was afraid &s;he had heard I had been there for &s;omething el&s;e. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
<P>I kneel to her! why, Madam, I ne're had &s;uch a thought; I ne're made &s;uch a motion, ne're bow'd, hardly ever pull'd off my hat; and if I &s;poke any fla&s;hy, unballanc'd words to her, 'twas only in obedience to your Commands: my heart ador'd you, though my tongue flatter'd her.</P>
<P>So, now I'm going to be an excellent Ra&s;cal. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay, Sir, I did expect you could &s;ing to this tune: you can out|flatter a Town-Poet, and out-lye a Mercer of <HI>Pater-no&s;ter-Row.</HI> Thus clouding Deceit under a pretty, modi&s;h, methodical way of Gallantry, you prove equally treacherous both to her and me: What &s;ay you? would you not prove &s;uch a villanous &s;ort of a creature?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>'s death I'd be a Dog fir&s;t: Treacherous! no, Madam, 'tis to your Altar I &s;acrifice: to you, and only you my heart pays tribute: <HI>Livia's</HI> a thing remote, when you are by; unknown, a very &s;tranger; I hardly ever &s;poke to her, but when I was half a&s;leep.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>Now have I a great mind to be credulous, but that lying face of yours does &s;o &s;tartle my Re&s;olutions: but come, for once I'le put you to the Te&s;t, and give you leave to vi&s;it me; then, if you prove a Jewel &mdash;</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>You will wear me: Nay, nay, that mu&s;t of nece&s;&s;ity follow.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Livia.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>My Lady <HI>Millicent!</HI> Don't you intend to Dance? they are all ready to begin.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ha! <HI>Livia!</HI> &mdash; I was ju&s;t coming to wait on you, Madam, He's con|fus'd: now I &s;hall note their carriage. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>If &s;he have over-heard any thing now, I'm in a fine condition. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Mr. <HI>Benedick</HI> has bin giving me a Song yonder: Mr. <HI>Townly,</HI> pray come hither and &s;ing it, you have a good voice.</P>
<P>Ingrateful man! Is this your con&s;tancy? <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>So, there's one &s;hot already; I &s;hall be pepper'd. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>We &s;hall &s;up late to night, 'tis pa&s;t &s;ev'n o' Clock.</P>
<P>Mr. <HI>Townly,</HI> you have skill in Watches, pray give me your Judgment in this.</P>
<P>You can't hold out I &s;ee. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>The Devil take me if I know how I &s;hould at this rate. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<STAGE><HI>Livia</HI> Sings.</STAGE>
<STAGE>He bows to <HI>Mill.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay Mr. <HI>Townly,</HI> pray come hither: a good Singer is &s;o hard al|ways to be intreated.</P>
<P>You are very ready to obey her. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<PB N="27" REF="18" MS="y">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not I faith, Madam; I de&s;ign'd only to be civil.</P>
<STAGE>Goes to her.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>Mr. <HI>Townly,</HI> pray help me to &s;et the Hand right here, I &s;hall &s;poil my Clock for want of skill.</P>
<STAGE>Struggles to go, and <HI>Livia</HI> holds him.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Come, Sir, Begin, begin.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>He Sings.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>What! are you deaf o'th' &s;uddain?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>'s death what &s;hall I do? <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>Pray make no delays, Sir, but come hither.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Pray make no delays Sir, but &s;ing.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>Madam, I beg your pardon, he has &s;ome skill at this.</P>
<STAGE>Pulls him.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Madam, I beg your pardon, he has more skill at this.</P>
<STAGE>Pulls him.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>s'death I &s;hall be quarter'd. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
<P>Why then, by heav'n, I have skill at neither. I am plagu'd with an eternal Cold, and the mo&s;t ignorant Artificer in the world be&s;ide: Hark, the Mu&s;ick begins, we &s;hall be too late. &mdash;</P>
<P>Anon we &s;hall have more lei&s;ure. <STAGE>To <HI>Livia.</HI></STAGE></P>
<P>At night we &s;hall meet alone. <STAGE>To <HI>Mill.</HI></STAGE></P>
<P>Come, come, to the Mu&s;ick, to the Mu&s;ick.</P>
<STAGE><HI>Exit,</HI> leading 'em.</STAGE>
</SP>
</DIV3>
<DIV3 N="2" TYPE="scene">
<HEAD>SCENE II.</HEAD>
<STAGE>A Table and Mu&s;icians.</STAGE>
<STAGE>Di&s;covers the Captain, <HI>Wilding,</HI> Sir <HI>Walter, Benedick, Townly, Gratiana, Millicent, Livia, Winifrid,</HI> &s;eated.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>COme, let's have t'other Dance, the Ladies are not warm yet.</P>
<STAGE>Dance.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Come, now let's talk of Shipping: <HI>Dean</HI> has built a brave Frigot, they &s;ay.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Prithee <HI>Tarr</HI> &s;hew none of thy Sea-breeding now: Dancing is a gentile quality, which you Sea-&s;harks under&s;tand not: Come, &s;hall thou and I go and drink a quart of Brandy to warm our &s;tomachs.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>More drink &s;till! why thou art grown a meer &s;punge, do'&s;t nothing but &s;uck in, and &s;queeze out all day long: but I mu&s;t confe&s;s 'tis natural to you all; and a man may as well know a fooli&s;h Country-Knight by his down-right drinking, as a Yeoman of the Guard by his infallible eating.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>What! another Sea-joke? Ha, ha, well &s;aid <HI>Tarr.</HI> &mdash;</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Do you not wonder, Madam, that having been &s;o baffled at our <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="OXF" EXTENT="1 word"> la&s;t meeting by your Wit and Di&s;dain, that I have the confidence to appear agen?</P>
</SP>
<PB N="28" REF="19">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not at all for your true Spaniel; the wor&s;e he is us'd, grows &s;till the civiller.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Come, Gentlemen, now another Le&s;&s;on, the Ladies are impatient.</P>
<STAGE>The Gentlemen &s;it down as to play.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh! 'uds &s;o, here comes my Uncle, now we &s;hall have a full Con&s;ort.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter Sir <HI>Barnaby.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Sir <HI>Barnaby,</HI> welcome, come pray let's have &s;ome of your skill.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Prithee ob&s;erve with what &s;tate he takes place.</P>
<STAGE>Sir <HI>Barnaby</HI> &s;eats him&s;elf at the upper end.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>Cae&s;ar</HI> in triumph look'd not half &s;o big.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>No, nor thought him&s;elf &s;o worthy: hark you Sir <HI>Walter,</HI> a word with you; prithee deal ingenuou&s;ly, Does your Uncle play well on this In&s;tru|ment?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh to a miracle, Sir, and has the be&s;t grace you ever &s;aw.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Say you &s;o?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>His touches are always &s;o &s;oft and gentle: be&s;ides, I have ob|&s;erv'd (Gentlemen) that your thick &s;quab-hand and &s;hort thumb-like fingers always become a Lute extremely.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ha, ha, ha, that indeed I ne'r took notice of.</P>
<STAGE><HI>Exeunt</HI> Ladies.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Strike <HI>F-fa-ut</HI> &s;harp, and &s;ing the Song.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<FLOATEXT LANG="eng" TYPE="song">
<HEAD>SONG.</HEAD>
<LG N="1">
<L>FArewell my Lov'd Science, my former delight,</L>
<L><HI>Moliere</HI> is quite rifled, then how &s;hould I write?</L>
<L>My fancy's grown &s;leepy, my quibling is done;</L>
<L>And de&s;ign or invention, alas! I have none.</L>
<L>But &s;till let the Town never doubt my condition;</L>
<L>Though I fall a damn'd Poet, I'le mount a Mu&s;ician.</L>
</LG>
<LG N="2">
<HEAD>II.</HEAD>
<L>I got Fame by filching from Poems and Plays,</L>
<L>But my Fidling and Drinking has lo&s;t me the Bays;</L>
<L>Like a Fury I rail'd, like a Satyr I writ,</L>
<L><HI>Ther&s;ites</HI> my Humour, and <HI>Fleckno</HI> my Wit.</L>
<L>But to make &s;ome amends for my &s;narling and la&s;hing,</L>
<L>I divert all the Town with my Thrumming and Thra&s;hing.</L>
</LG>
</FLOATEXT>
</SP>
<PB N="29" REF="19">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>I have a trick to get him away in&s;tantly.</P>
<P>What is't you &s;ay, friend? an Army rai&s;ing, and 20000 in Arms already?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>That there are, I &s;aw 'em mu&s;ter'd.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>For the de&s;truction of the Saints! this is but cold news.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>They will not leave a Rebel in the Land.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay you mu&s;t march, Uncle; you mu&s;t &s;wing; I do not doubt but I &s;hall &s;ee you exalted for the honour of our family.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Unnatural Rogue! do'&s;t hope to &s;ee me hang'd? Hang'd! &mdash; Gad that word has a plaguy &s;ound: but come, let the wor&s;t happen, I can but turn; the Saints may revoke, if the game be near lo&s;ing: Come, come, I can turn, I can turn.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>I knew that news was wor&s;e than an Ague to him.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>A Pox on't, the Women are all gone too, and I have had ne'r a bu&s;s of my <HI>Wel&s;h</HI> Mi&s;tre&s;s; I mu&s;t go &s;eek her.</P>
<STAGE>Exit <HI>Captain.</HI></STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>D'ee hear that, friend?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Let him go; the old Hound hunts upon a fal&s;e &s;cent, for I have her in chace my &s;elf.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Sir <HI>Walter</HI> goes to the Door, and returns.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>Jack, Jack,</HI> my Wife's gone away alone man: Go, go for &s;hame: &mdash; nay, prithee dear <HI>Jack,</HI> go now.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well Sir, I follow her, &s;ince you'l have it &s;o. But the Stars point otherwi&s;e to night; I am el&s;ewhere engag'd, I thank my fortune. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Now if that Fairy have but <HI>Wel&s;h</HI> Devils enough to charm the Captain for one hour, I &s;hall love <HI>Mountgomery</HI> the better as long as I live for't.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Prithee no more excu&s;es, but con&s;ent to go with me to morrow.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ha&s;t thou the con&s;cience to de&s;ire me to be &s;tung agen by that Wa&s;p, that Viper of Women, <HI>Gratiana?</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>I have, nay and thou &s;halt not deny me neither.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Sir, I mu&s;t; I had rather Duel three hours, than Ward her words three minutes: her Tongue is like the <HI>Pendulum</HI> of a Clock, and &s;he wants no|thing but talking in her &s;leep to make it a perpetual motion.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>And yet for all that thou lov'&s;t her, if the truth were &s;ifted throughly.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Love her! yes, as I do bad Wine, or an un&s;ound Wench.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Come, I know thy humour, and can make this Po&s;ition; Thou ne|ver railed'&s;t heartily at any Woman, thou did'&s;t not then, or afterwards fall in love with.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Perhaps her Charms do not equal others.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay &s;he's beautiful every way: however, do an honourable cour|te&s;ie, and go to a&s;&s;i&s;t thy friend, for my little <HI>Winifrid</HI> is to be with her.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Pox on thee, thou art ever ingaging me in &s;uch affairs: I confe&s;s I have an inclination to &s;ee this Woman agen; and if I prove his words true, and fall in love with her, how this unmerciful Rogue will laugh at me: I am un|tainted
<PB N="30" REF="20"> yet, and am &s;ure can hold out one skirmi&s;h more, whatever happens after.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well, ha&s;t thou thought, &s;hall I tru&s;t thee?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>You will have your humour, Sir, and I'm oblig'd to &s;erve you.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Here let's part then, and to morrow I'le call upon you at your Lodging.</P>
<STAGE>Exit <HI>Wild.</HI></STAGE>
<P>I think I heard her voice ju&s;t now here abouts, perhaps this old Kite has &s;natch'd her up before me: Gad I mu&s;t go and &s;ee.</P>
<STAGE>Exit <HI>Bened.</HI></STAGE>
</SP>
<STAGE>Re-Enter Sir <HI>Barnaby.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>'Tis as he &s;aid; there is an Army rai&s;ing, a great one too, and the fraternity will be &s;wing'd, I profe&s;s: Well, &s;tay then Brother <HI>Barnaby,</HI> what will you do, Brother, to &s;ave your neck? why look you, Brother, you mu&s;t Conform; and as you have &s;wore up your own party, now you mu&s;t &s;wear 'em down: 'Tis true, Brother, you are a Ra&s;cal; but &s;o are many more that are preferr'd, therefore you mu&s;t now &s;peak for the King: Di&s;gui&s;e your &s;elf; get a Commi&s;&s;ion, and fight for the King: Impeach your <HI>quondam</HI> Brethren that were again&s;t the King, and &s;o, dear friend and brother, you may &s;ave your &s;elf &mdash; by the King.</P>
</SP>
</DIV3>
<DIV3 N="3" TYPE="scene">
<HEAD>SCENE III.</HEAD>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Benedick,</HI> Groping about.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>I Have mi&s;took, and follow'd a wrong Woman, and now cannot find the way out agen: Hark! &s;ome-body is coming; perhaps 'tis the Captain, what &s;hall I do? Oh, here's a door open, I'le go in and hide my &s;elf till they are pa&s;t by.</P>
<STAGE><HI>Exit</HI> into the Clo&s;et.</STAGE>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Townly,</HI> and <HI>Livia</HI> after him.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Where are you, Sir?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Here divine Creature, waiting for the ble&s;&s;ing with more Zeal, than Pilgrims a reward for their Devotion: Where (where) 's your Husband Sweet? your husband! your property I mean, that ru&s;ty Animal; abroad, or a&s;leep, or drunk, or where?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Speak lower, Sir; he's not &s;o far off, but Jealou&s;ie can quickly &s;pur him hither: Go, get you in here, I mu&s;t be your Jaylor, and lock you up for a-while, till I &s;ee how my Husband is employ'd: Come, ha&s;te, ha&s;te, the door is open already.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>If every man for &s;o delicious a &s;in had no &s;everer a penance, the World would grow mon&s;trous wicked in a &s;hort time.</P>
<STAGE>Locks him into the Clo&s;et.</STAGE>
</SP>
<PB N="31" REF="20">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>If my Cau&s;e were to be tryed in a Court of Equity, I que&s;tion whe|ther the mo&s;t Reverend Head could blame my proceedings: in my opinion the &s;cales are equal; for if my Husband &s;lights me, to &s;eek a Mi&s;tre&s;s that &s;lights him; 'tis but rea&s;on that I &s;hould &s;light him, to love a man that adores me: but then Honour and Religion &s;tart up, two Bug-bears, and fright me terribly: but then agen, I love <HI>Townly</HI> more terribly: Honour is a fine thing, but <HI>Townly</HI> is a finer thing: What &s;hall I do? Well, I'le fir&s;t go and &s;ee whetehr my hus|band be &s;afe, and then reconcile my &s;elf to Honour and Religion as well as I can.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter Sir <HI>Walter</HI> with a Light.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>Townly</HI> is, I hope, by this time at home &s;olacing my Spou&s;e: &s;o &s;he is &s;afe, Gad that's a very hone&s;t fellow, as good a &s;oul as breathes; and the very life of my de&s;ign, becau&s;e 'tis a harmle&s;s Rat, a ba&s;hful, unfle&s;h'd young fool: why, I might ha' bin a Cuckold, had another man undertook the bu&s;ine&s;s but he; were &s;he as loo&s;e as <HI>Lais,</HI> he'd not under&s;tand her: This 'tis to have Judgment to di|&s;tingui&s;h men now: &mdash; Well, he I &s;ay is with my Spou&s;e, the Captain is gone out after his <HI>Wel&s;h</HI> Mi&s;tre&s;s, and I am coming in here to his Wife; &s;he mu&s;t be there in her Clo&s;et, for I'me &s;ure I &s;aw her come up Stairs.</P>
<STAGE>Knocks &s;oftly at the door.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>What! come already, my life, my &s;oul?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>What's here a man? ha! <HI>Townly!</HI> the Devil! 'tis impo&s;&s;ible. Oh Ra&s;cal! Oh Traytor! what and conceal'd in the Clo&s;et too! <STAGE><HI>Townly</HI> runs back and &s;huts the door.</STAGE> Impudently lying here perdue, for my Mi|&s;tre&s;s, like a Villain, when he &s;hould be at home courting my Wife like an hone&s;t fellow: Oh the Devil! this is a treachery in&s;upportable; and d'ee hear, Sir, I &s;hall &s;torm your Ca&s;tle; I &s;hall demoli&s;h; I &s;hall &s;lit that dog's no&s;e of yours, incorrigible Ra&s;cal!</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>within. &mdash; So, ho, &mdash; where &s;its the Wind? what noi&s;e? what &s;torm is this?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ha! the Captain return'd? already too? had that <HI>Wel&s;h</HI> Gip|&s;y no more &s;en&s;e than to leave her Cully &s;o &s;oon? A Pox o' their Mungril <HI>Wel&s;h</HI> court&s;hip, they make love like Sparrows; the Intrigue is no &s;ooner begun, but ended.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Livia.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>My Husband return'd &mdash; Oh, I'me undone.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter the Captain, and <HI>Livia</HI> peeping.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>How now! who's there? &mdash; ha! &mdash; a Sword drawn? where are my Servants? Lock up all the doors there, here's a Je&s;uit, a Thief, a Fox in my Bed-Chamber.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Hold, hold! 'tis I, Captain, 'tis I, <HI>Watt, Watt,</HI> hone&s;t <HI>Watt,</HI> do'&s;t not know me? why 'tis I man, thy friend <HI>Watt,</HI> I tell thee.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Friend <HI>Watt,</HI> with a Pox! what does my friend <HI>Watt</HI> do in my Chamber o' this time of night, hoh?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>I come to bring thee news, old <HI>Culverin;</HI> thy well-rigg'd Frigot
<PB N="32" REF="21"> is grappl'd, her Sails unfurl'd, her Gun room blown up, and all her trea&s;ure in the Hold rifled and plunder'd.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>My Frigat! why then I &s;ay, my friend <HI>Watt,</HI> with a Pox to him, is a damn'd lying Ra&s;cal; for my Lieutenant came from <HI>Sheerne&s;s</HI> this morning, and told me &s;he was as tite as ever, and ready to &s;et Sail.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>Sheerne&s;s!</HI> ha, ha; well &s;aid apprehen&s;ion: here's the wit of a Tarpawlin now; one ruffling Storm frights away all their brains, to make room for the fumes that make them Valiant; but know, friend, that I mean a Frigat of another nature; thy Wife, thy Wife man!</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>My Wife! why what of her?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Wal.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay, no great matter, only &s;he is be&s;et, made unlawful prize, and to night to be grappl'd and boarded, that's all.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>All in the Devils name! a very pretty All, faith: but hark you Sir <HI>Watt,</HI> or Coxcomb, or what may a man call you? if you run your <HI>Lanca&s;hire</HI>-Je&s;ts on me, I &s;hall &s;winge you; I &s;hall thra&s;h you, in plain terms. D'ee &s;ee, Sir, therefore be &s;erious: &mdash; My Wife d'ee &s;ay?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay if you are &s;o Cholerick for nothing, I care not this for't; be a Cuckold, grow ridiculous; de&s;pair, and then hang your &s;elf on the top of the Main-Ma&s;t: Gad I'le not value it the cutting a corn, &s;ince you are &s;o uncivil.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>'Sbud &s;peak to the purpo&s;e, or by <HI>Boreas</HI> I will eat thee up, as I would do a Sea-bisket.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>What a damn'd Canibal-Rogue is this? Gad he looks as if he would eat me indeed &mdash; why then I &s;ay agen, thy Wife, thy <HI>Helen,</HI> thy <HI>Octavia,</HI> was this night to be engaged in an Intrigue; the bu&s;ine&s;s and place is only &s;up|pos'd, but the voracious Pirate is by my indu&s;try &s;urpriz'd, detain'd a Pri&s;oner of War, and confin'd to that Clo&s;et there.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>How! a Ra&s;cal &s;urpriz'd in my Wives Clo&s;et? So, ho: bring out the Mortar-piece there: 'Oones I'le &s;urprize him with a vengeance.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Hold, hold, here comes your Lady; &mdash; urge her to a Di&s;covery; command the key, and ob&s;erve her excu&s;es: So, &s;o, I think I &s;hall be reveng'd now.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Livia.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>If this project fail, I'me undone.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Your Servant, Madam; pray if a man may ask a civil que&s;tion, What news from the <HI>Straits?</HI> it &s;eems (good Pinnace) you were to be Boarded to night &mdash; hah!</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Boarded, Sir?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Grappl'd, clapt a-&s;tern; nay, and in danger to prove a Fire-&s;hip &mdash; forc'd to a &s;urrender by a through-&s;hot betwixt Wind and Water, and then to be Mann'd by the Enemy in the Fore-Ca&s;tle and Poop &mdash; with a Pox t'ee.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>I wi&s;h you would give your meaning, Sir, in plainer terms, for I am utterly unprovided of an an&s;wer to this.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ay, alas poor <HI>Innocence,</HI> &s;he knows not what you mean, not &s;he.</P>
</SP>
<PB REF="21">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>No, no: Come give me the key of this Clo&s;et, I'le &s;hew my mean|ing pre&s;ently; What, d'ee tremble? Come, the key, the key, where is't?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>What key, Sir?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>What key, Sir! the key that unlocks the Bawdy door to your Stallion, that lies there in the Bilbo's: I'le feez him: 'Sbud I'le have him condemn'd by a Jury of Tarpawlins; fir&s;t flea'd, then hung by the heels at the Yard-arm, a dreadful example to all &s;uch Cuckoldmakers: &mdash; the key I &s;ay, the key.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Now, dear fortune, be propitious. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Come where is't? by <HI>Mars,</HI> my Lady <HI>Strumpet,</HI> I &s;hall give you a &s;alt Eel; I &s;hall &s;how you a touch of my Sea-office if you trifle any longer.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>But why thus angry, Sir? you &s;hall have the key, and in&s;tantly; but &s;hew &s;o much humanity to your poor Wife, one that has lov'd you (Heav'n knows too tenderly), to let her &s;peak: give her time to unfold this my&s;tical matter; let her plead her Innocence before &s;he be condemn'd.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Innocence! ay, a Whore has a wonderful &s;tock of Innocence in|deed: you are devout, are you? this is your zeal, is it? 'Sbud I ever thought there would come no good of your Devotion, you were &s;o early at it.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Is my Integrity &s;uppos'd my Crime then? mu&s;t that be my Accu|&s;er? my Husband &s;hould have kinder thoughts; and you, my friend, are too much a Gentleman &s;o to condemn me; Heav'n knows how little I de&s;erve this Ignominy.</P>
<STAGE>Weeps.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ay, ay, weep: this rain &s;hall not lay the du&s;t, the Stallion mu&s;t be produc'd; he mu&s;t Spou&s;e, he mu&s;t.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>I am her Friend now, but I was her Fool and Coxcomb an hour ago.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Produc'd, Sir: Can you think I would conceal him? Can you be|lieve your Wife, the partner of your Bed, and deare&s;t thoughts, could know a &s;ecret that concerns your Honour, and keep you ignorant? See here the whole di&s;covery; my heart was too full of grief to let me &s;peak the fatal &s;tory, and therefore I committed it to Writing.</P>
<STAGE>Gives a paper.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Your heart too full! your crime was too foul rather: but come, let's &s;ee; here's a pretty mode&s;t &s;crowl, no doubt.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>The Devil's in the&s;e Women; they had rather do that bu&s;ine&s;s, than talk of it any time.</P>
<STAGE>They read the paper.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Here, here's the key; now do it cunningly, and gain my love for ever. <STAGE>To <HI>Silvia.</HI></STAGE> <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt. <HI>reads.</HI></SPEAKER>
<P><Q REND="inline">If Love were to be judg'd by Jealou&s;ie, then Jealou&s;ie were to be excus'd by Love; but the rea&s;on of the one, and the unrea&s;onablene&s;s of the other, makes pa&s;&s;ionate Love &s;u&s;pected, and Jealou&s;ie hated; though to be jealous, is really to love, as to love is to be jealous, argued largely in the Amour of <HI>Min Heer Van Belgor,</HI> Admiral to the States-General; and the <HI>Skinckimurra Brachia del Pegoe,</HI> Wife of <HI>Pre&s;ter-John.</HI></Q></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>What the Devil is all this? Oones I can't under&s;tand a word on't: Do you?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Hum! <HI>Skinckimurra Pegee,</HI> hum! ay, 'tis as you &s;aid, Captain, a very pretty mode&s;t &s;crowl: Come, let's &s;ee further.</P>
</SP>
<PB N="34" REF="22">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Read.</SPEAKER>
<P><Q REND="inline">Courte&s;ie is only a pretence, and Friend|&s;hip grown a deceit, for your friend, Sir <HI>Walter,</HI> has bin the&s;e &s;ix months &s;olliciting me unlawfully</Q> &mdash; <STAGE><HI>Livia</HI> makes &s;igns to <HI>Sil|via</HI> to open the door.</STAGE> Ha! &s;ay you &s;o &mdash; I under&s;tand that, Sir, &mdash; hum!</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>That, Sir! pray let's &s;ee't. This damn'd Jilt will di&s;cover all. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>'Sbud this is a very fine bu&s;ine&s;s, pray read on, Sir.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt. <HI>reads.</HI></SPEAKER>
<P><Q REND="inline">Your friend, Sir <HI>Walter,</HI> has bin the&s;e &s;ix months &s;ollici|ting me unlawfully.</Q></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Friend! ay, a &s;weet friend, fine damn'd friend &mdash; hum.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt. <HI>reads.</HI></SPEAKER>
<P><Q REND="inline">And you are con&s;cious to your &s;elf that you were for|merly very familiar with his Wife</Q> &mdash; Hah, hum &mdash; who mu&s;t under&s;tand that? there's a bus'ne&s;s &mdash; hum &mdash; who mu&s;t under&s;tand that, I &s;ay? Familiar with her; not &s;ollicit, but familiar, intimate, profoundly acquainted &mdash; familiar with her: you have no Off-&s;pring, no I&s;&s;ue, no Sons of Whores begotten on her body, have you, Sir? Hah, hum.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>I! prithee leave thy prating: why, I hardly know her: I never came within &s;hot of her in my life; the&s;e are Tricks, Wheadles, Clokes to cover the main matter, pray, Mi&s;tre&s;s, come to the point, the Ra&s;cal in the Clo&s;et there, the bawdy Intrigue &mdash; Where's that? where's that?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Be careful now, or we are lo&s;t. <STAGE>A&s;ide to <HI>Silvia.</HI></STAGE></P>
<P>Here, here, Sir, pray ob&s;erve it, fix your eye here &s;tedfa&s;tly.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well, what's here?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>And you, Sir <HI>Walter.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>I warrant you, I warrant you.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia. <HI>reads.</HI></SPEAKER>
<P><Q REND="inline">The de&s;ign being woven thus between you, about one ano|thers Wives, <HI>Townly</HI> makes a forcibly Entry upon the Premi&s;&s;es, by order of my Lady <HI>Millicent,</HI> who, in a kind of a di&s;orderly manner, orders Mr. <HI>Townly</HI> and I to &s;tate a que&s;tion in the <HI>Mathematicks,</HI> with de&s;ign to put us all into di&s;|order; but Sir <HI>Walter</HI> politickly &s;ifting into the matter, and well knowing that <HI>Townly,</HI> and my Lady <HI>Millicent,</HI> had in&s;tructed Sir <HI>Barnaby</HI> to wheadle the Cap|rain into a belief, that <HI>Wel&s;h Winifrid</HI> and <HI>Benedick</HI> were playing at Hot-Cockles in the Mulberry-Garden, confirm'd the matter to be carried on by <HI>Wilding</HI> and <HI>Gratiana,</HI> who were to be expos'd, and <HI>Townly</HI> confin'd to the Clo|&s;et upon due con&s;ideration: D'ee under&s;tand me?</Q>
<STAGE>Whil&s;t &s;he is bantring them with this Letter, <HI>Silvia</HI> opens the door, and lets out <HI>Benedick</HI> in&s;tead of <HI>Townly.</HI></STAGE> So, &s;he has done it.</P>
<STAGE>She holds her hand behind her, and <HI>Silvia</HI> gives her the key agen.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>'Sbud, the Devil, though he were a Scrivener, could not under&s;tand this: Do you, Sir <HI>Walter?</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not a &s;yllable, not I, as I am a true Knight.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh confounded misfortune! &s;ome damn'd Ra&s;cal, that had hid him&s;elf here, has made his e&s;cape in&s;tead of me. <STAGE>Peeping out of a window.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Pox on't, this is another whim; 'tis plain now, there's not one word of &s;en&s;e in the whole Letter; thou Spawn of a <HI>Syren,</HI> give me the key without more Demurs, or by the North Star I will &s;o mawl thee. &mdash; </P>
</SP>
<PB N="35" REF="22">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livi<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="OXF" EXTENT="1+ letters">.</SPEAKER>
<P>Why then there 'tis: you can &s;toop and take it up to make your di&s;covery, I hope.</P>
<STAGE>Flings the Key on the ground.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>How! my Lady Impudence! are you in earne&s;t? <STAGE>Aloud.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ay, Sir, earne&s;t; why thou ba&s;e, ingrateful, jealous-headed, ru&s;ty, &s;noring, fumbling creature, thou worn out &s;tump, thou very husband: &mdash; had the Devil &s;o much power over thee, to make thee &s;u&s;pect my hone&s;ty? What! a per&s;on of my Candor, Religion and Virtue; a per&s;on of my birth and edu|cation; a per&s;on of my mode&s;ty and wife-like patience; and for the A&s;&s;er|tion of that u&s;ele&s;s Tool there, that Knight of the Burning Pe&s;tle, that <HI>Lanca|&s;hire</HI>-&s;poke for a Spinning-wheel, that fool of Quality, thing of title, and nothing el&s;e.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>So, &s;o: &s;he's in her Altitudes now, but we &s;hall fetch her down pre&s;ently, Captain.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Had it been from a witty man, 'twere to be excus'd; but from him is a &s;in of Ignorance, not to be pardoned.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Good! very good: Come, Sir, the Clo&s;et, the Clo&s;et, the Gentleman wants company.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>'Tis a merry Gale now, but here's a Storm coming.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Silvia</HI> ha&s;tily.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Silv.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh, Madam! we are all undone, by a &s;trange mi&s;take; in&s;tead of Mr. <HI>Townly,</HI> I let Mr. <HI>Benedick</HI> out of the Clo&s;et, who it &s;eems had hid him&s;elf there.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ha! what is <HI>Townly</HI> there &s;till then?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Silv.</SPEAKER>
<P>Too true I fear.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>The Devil has a mind to expo&s;e me, and I &s;trive again&s;t it in vain: Cur&s;t, helli&s;h, &s;piteful chance, 'tis impo&s;&s;ible now to retrieve it, I have &s;o rail'd at them.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Plant your &s;elf there, Sir <HI>Walter,</HI> in a po&s;ture of Defence, whil&s;t I tack to Windward, and give the fir&s;t Broad&s;ide.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Stay, Sir, &s;tay a minute, as you would have me live, come back a little: <STAGE>Kneeling.</STAGE> Ah, can you then be &s;o cruel to &s;hame me for ever? what though I have bin indi&s;creet, and &s;poke too much, will you expo&s;e your poor Wife for her fir&s;t fault? Con&s;ider how I have lov'd you, with what a tender kindne&s;s I have nurs'd you, ki&s;s'd you, hugg'd you, cheri&s;h'd you, comb'd your head, air'd your &s;hirt, and lac'd your night-cap, cla&s;p'd you in my arms, and let you &s;nore with patience; and though you were then a heavy lump, a Statue, I've made you, &s;tir, and move, and live a little.</P>
<STAGE>Sigh<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="OXF" EXTENT="1 letter">.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh! &s;its the Wind there already? no Mermaid, Syren; I'le &s;top my ears to all but Revenge, thou Bank&s;ide Mawdlin, Di&s;ea&s;e of Matrimony, un|worthy the honour of being my Wife, and only fit for the Boat&s;wain, or Swabber.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Can nothing mollifie your heart? Sir <HI>Walter,</HI> be you merciful then, 'tis in your power to &s;ave all yet.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt,</SPEAKER>
<P>In mine! what a Ninny, a <HI>Lanca&s;hire</HI>-tool, a Spoke for a Spin|ning-wheel? hum &mdash; in my power &s;ay you?</P>
</SP>
<PB REF="23" MS="y">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Sir <HI>Walter</HI> guard the door; and if he &s;trives to e&s;cape, kill him. Hou&s;ewife, come you and hold the Candle. <STAGE>To <HI>Silvia:</HI> they enter the Clo&s;et.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>There's no way but to leap over the Balcony &mdash; and I mu&s;t ven|ture.</P>
<STAGE>Leaps down.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>What thinks your Lady&s;hip of an Intrigue now &mdash; a Love-combat, a Jugling trick? Hey, pa&s;s, come aloft here; what! I am a fool, am I? <HI>Townly</HI> is the man, the taking-man, and I am a thing, a thing of nothing; but you &s;hall find now, that he &s;hall be nothing, nor (y' Gad) have nothing before I part with him. How now! who comes here? Give the word.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Silvia.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Silv.</SPEAKER>
<P>'Tis I, Sir.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>I Sir! 'tis well you &s;poke, Gad I would have whipp'd you through the guts el&s;e.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Silv.</SPEAKER>
<P>Look up, Madam, and &s;mile, there's no body in the Clo&s;et; Mr. <HI>Townly</HI> is gone, and as I believe, made his e&s;cape over the Balcony.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Then Fate's my own agen, beyond danger of Relap&s;e, and I will u&s;e it mo&s;t triumphantly.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter Captain.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oones here's no body.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>What, what! no body? that's a good Je&s;t indeed, Ha, ha, no body?</P>
<STAGE>Goes into the Clo&s;et.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Your &s;ervant &s;weet Sir, <STAGE>Curt'&s;ies to him.</STAGE> with all the &s;ubmi&s;&s;ion and re&s;pect due from an obliging Wife to a &s;curvy, jealous &mdash; no Husband: let me de&s;ire to know how Mr. <HI>Townly</HI> does, and how you have dealt with Mr. <HI>Townly,</HI> and how Mr. <HI>Townly</HI> has dealt with you: &mdash; Heaven avert my doubt, I fear you have murther'd him, Ha, ha, ha.</P>
<STAGE>Feigns to weep, and then bur&s;ts out a laughing.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>'Sbud I'le mawl this fooli&s;h Knight, I'le teach him to play tricks with me.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter Sir <HI>Walter</HI> in a &s;neaking, ridiculous po&s;ture.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well, what now?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Your &s;ervant &s;weet Sir; <STAGE>Curt'&s;ies to him too.</STAGE> the la&s;t courte&s;ie you did me, in concealing my Intrigue was &s;o generou&s;ly perform'd, that I vow there is no favour you would demand, that I think I could deny: <STAGE>Curt'&s;ies to him too.</STAGE> Pray, Sir, &s;peak, I be&s;eech you let me be grateful.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well, Madam, though the Devil is your friend, and &s;o forth, yet I have eyes, Madam, I have eyes.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>So has an A&s;s, from whom thou differ'&s;t not, but by thy Ears: thou wicker-bottle, edg-le&s;s knife; thou Ape of generation, whom Providence &s;huffled hither in an unthinking Age, for no &s;uch fools are created now-a-days: Did&s;t thou dare to bla&s;t my Virtue, my Integrity, thou laughter of our &s;ex,
<PB REF="23" MS="y"> and foot-ball of thy own? If I were a man, I would cut that Carka&s;s of thine into as &s;mall a quantity as thy Wits; I'd make you an example.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay, now &s;he has got the whip-hand of us, the Devil's in her. Well, I mu&s;t take another time, 'tis in vain to contend now.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>What, is he gone? 'Sbud I'le after him, and have &s;atisfaction, or I'le whip him through the Mid-riff, by <HI>Mars.</HI></P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<LG>
<L>Thus when extremes of fear too near advance,</L>
<L>Some Courtly God looks down and lends us chance;</L>
<L>Turns the great Scale, let's longing Lovers meet;</L>
<L>And dangers pa&s;t, make coming Joys more &s;weet.</L>
</LG>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
</DIV3>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 N="4" TYPE="act">
<HEAD>ACT. IV.</HEAD>
<DIV3 N="1" TYPE="scene">
<HEAD>SCENE I.</HEAD>
<STAGE>Spring-Garden.</STAGE>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Gratiana</HI> and <HI>Winifrid.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>COme, prithee let's be gone; I wonder what delight thou can&s;t take in this Garden, a place &s;o intolerably pe&s;ter'd with Flies and Fops.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>By St. <HI>Tavy,</HI> Fop was fery coot Difer&s;ions, to <HI>Winny;</HI> there is fine tittle tattles, and pribbles and prabbles, that makes <HI>Winny</HI> laugh till her pones akes agen.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>This place is the Retreat of Lewdne&s;s, the very Mart of Debau|chery: Here the raw Country-Fop treats the Town-Bully; the &s;neaking Cuck|old his ugly Wife, and more ugly Off &s;pring; the Spindle-&s;hank'd Prentice his dirty Drab, and the Court Fle&s;h-fly his Mi&s;s of Quality.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>And is not all this fery coot Difer&s;ions, look you? Ple&s;s us awll! &s;ure your plood is corrupted with Flegmaticks and Melancholies.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Wilding</HI> and <HI>Benedick.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Here's &s;ome encouragement however: that &s;mile &s;hews they'r in a good humour.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>See, Madam, here's &s;ome of the company you wi&s;h'd for.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Are the&s;e fools? Ple&s;s us awll, how they &s;tare at us?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>She begins already, I find we &s;hall have a ble&s;&s;ed entertainment.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Prithee have patience.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<LG>
<L>When Beauty in the Conque&s;t bears a part,</L>
<L>Who can have skill enough to guard a Heart?</L>
</LG>
</SP>
<PB REF="24">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<LG>
<L>When Impudence in man exceeds the Devil,</L>
<L>Who can have skill enough to make him civil?</L>
</LG>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>There's a reli&s;h for you my friend, you &s;hall have more anon.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>An honourable Zeal to &s;erve a Beauty, was ne're accounted Impudence till now: we are no Satyrs, Madam.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>If you had their hoofs, as you have their manners, 'twas the be&s;t name I could call you.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay, nay, no &s;trugling, for by St. <HI>Winifrid</HI> Hur will, and mu&s;t be heard.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>I know not what ails me, but of late I have no mind to rail again&s;t this <HI>Wilding:</HI> &s;ure he wears &s;ome Charm about him.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>The Devil's in her: that &s;uch a &s;hape &s;hou'd harbour &s;o in&s;ufferable a humour.</P>
<P>Madam, though I hate Intru&s;ion, it wou'd appear a grand rudene&s;s in me not to entertain you in this juncture; for a good Wit (like yours) &s;hould never be alone.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>And no Wit like yours &s;hould, Sir: and &s;o your Servant.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Dam her, her Wit has Daggers in't, and every word &s;he &s;peaks &s;tings like an Adder: Well; Come what will, I'le follow her, and rail victoriou&s;ly this once, though I prove ever Dumb hereafter.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>What! is hur Cozen gone, and has left hur?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Gone into the next Walk, 'tis a piece of civility in her to give Lovers opportunity.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Opportunity's! Ple&s;s us awll, for what? you will not Ravi&s;h hur, will you? nor rob <HI>Winny</HI> of precious Jewels and Virginities, I hope.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Upon my &s;oul but I will though, and yet do thee no harm neither: &mdash; Come, prithee be willing, and &s;ave the trouble.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>The Tevil &s;hall have thee fir&s;t; hur will not &s;ave the trouble, there|fore let hur have liperties and freedoms, or hur will cry out, and &s;cratch, and bite, and kick, and &s;prawl; Oh heavens! what Ravi&s;h hur &mdash; at the&s;e years? Would he were in earne&s;t, I vow. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh I Love a Ladies voice that cries out on &s;uch an occa&s;ion ex|tremely: and as for biting and &s;cratching, 'tis better than tickling to me, the greate&s;t motive to rai&s;e my appetite in the world: Come, come, you were made thus beautiful to be belov'd; and 'tis a &s;in to let your Lover langui&s;h for what you once mu&s;t part with, or be wretched.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ay, put then there is Marriages in the ca&s;e: Look you; if hur were Married, then let 'em Ravi&s;h hur a Cods name.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Marriage! why, 'tis the Antidote of Love, the very thought on't makes me cold and &s;piritle&s;s: I'm &s;tupid, numb'd now, that Damn'd word freezes more than the colde&s;t bla&s;t in the North of <HI>Greenland.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Prea let hur go. This is a fery dull fellow, I &s;wear. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>You kill me if you &s;peak on't: Come, come this way.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Why &s;ure hur will not force hur.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>I will not force thee: I know thou wilt con&s;ent, my Dear.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Hur cannot, dare not, mu&s;t not con&s;ent; Oh, my heart, how it
<PB REF="24" MS="y"> peats &mdash; is there no Honours nor Faith in men? Let hur co now, hur will be kinder another time.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh, I dare not tru&s;t to that, &s;ome peevi&s;h fit or other will happen, and then, like a true woman, you will recant, and perfidiou&s;ly break your pro|mi&s;e; and a man may as &s;oon get Money of a <HI>Jew</HI> upon Charity, as a Love|favour from a Woman, when &s;he's out of humour.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Why then hur thinks hur is in humours now?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>No, but I think you will be before the bu&s;ine&s;s is done; that's my comfort.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Prea do not fex hur thus: kind, &s;weet Sir, upon hur knees hur pegs hur to let hur go.</P>
<STAGE>Kneels.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Will you be kind then next time? Swear upon your Soul. &mdash;</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>And upon hur Soul's and Podies hur will.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>And love me?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Teerly.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>And be &s;o grateful to deny me nothing I &s;hall ask?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nothing that you &s;hall de&s;ire.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>This civil ki&s;s then, and farewell: &mdash; nay go in&s;tantly from my &s;ight, for if. I look on thee, there is a Dancing Devil in that Eye would make me turn Apo&s;tate, &s;pite of Ten thou&s;and Vows and Promi&s;es. <STAGE>Apart.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>A the Tevil take thee for ferv fools; what! believe what Woman &s;ays in &s;uch ca&s;es, and talk of ki&s;&s;es and civilities? Farewell; Well <HI>Winny</HI>'s &s;hall never te&s;ire thy dull Conver&s;ations more upon hur Souls. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>When there are &s;ure hopes of a &s;urrender, there is the le&s;s need of force; be&s;ides, Compliance and Free-will is the Soul of enjoyment: for 'tis a folly for a man to &s;natch greedily a raw ill-dre&s;s'd mor&s;el, when for a little patience a well-cook'd &s;avoury Di&s;h will court his appetite, and is purpo&s;ely prepar'd for him. How now, <HI>Tom!</HI> is &s;he gone?</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Wilding.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Dam her: &s;he is got among&s;t a Herd of She-Foxes yonder, and is not po&s;&s;ibly to be hunted from 'em; but I have &s;et my Footman to dog-where &s;he goes, and am firmly re&s;olv'd for another Tongue-combat.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>My little <HI>Wel&s;h</HI> Rogue is gone too; well, &s;ome grand mi&s;chief will certainly happen to me, for I'le tell thee what I did ju&s;t now. &mdash; I mi&s;s'd the cri|tical minute, and let my ador'd creature go, meerly out of a high point of ho|hour: What think'&s;t thou? is not this a damn'd Omen of more damn'd luck, ha?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>'Tis, I confe&s;s, as u&s;ual with thee to be &s;o civil, as 'tis to &s;ay thy prayers; but vet the Omen may be propitious enough, all things con&s;ider'd.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Dam con&s;ideration, would I had her agen; but I mu&s;t be civil, for&s;ooth, and &s;o lo&s;e my Mi&s;tre&s;s: Civil, and value punctilio's of honour and virtue: Virtue, that Vanity of women, and Bugbear of fools.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Virtue, that was &s;o civil to po&s;&s;e&s;s thy heart, which thou did&s;t not
<PB REF="25" MS="y"> de&s;ire; and &s;o uncivil to hinder thee <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="OXF" EXTENT="1+ letters">om enjoying a Beauty, which thou did'&s;t.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>True, by you Stars! curs'd, fooli&s;h plebeian notion.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ha, ha, ha: How now! who comes here?</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter Sir <HI>Barnaby</HI> flauntingly, Dre&s;s'd like an Officer, with a Footman.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<STAGE>Sings.</STAGE>
<LG>
<L>Let the Roundheads Plot on,</L>
<L>Till at la&s;t they'r undone</L>
<L>By hurting their Brains to Decoy us.</L>
</LG>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Hah! what, my <HI>quondam Rabbi Achitophel,</HI> Sir <HI>Barnaby Whigg?</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Captain <HI>Whigg,</HI> if you plea&s;e, Sir:</P>
<STAGE>Sings.</STAGE>
<LG>
<L>Let the Roundheads Plot on, <HI>&amp;c.</HI></L>
</LG>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ah, you are a precious Turn-coat Ra&s;cal: What! now the Storm is coming, you are for the King, I warrant?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ay, ay boy &mdash; thou'rt in the right: S'woones who &s;hould I be el&s;e for, hoh? &mdash;</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>He blu&s;ters, and pretends to Swear too.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>No faith, I'm but a learner yet; I can't mouth an Oath worth a farthing, for I have bin &s;o us'd to uds-nigs, uds-chitterlings, and the like, that my mouth is quite &s;poil'd for Swearing; but I don't doubt in a little time. &mdash; </P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>This up&s;tart in Debauchery, is wicked enough to Damn an Army.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>From a Saint to a Devil, is but an odd Conver&s;ion.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Peace: <HI>Tace;</HI> not a word of that: &mdash; If thou had'&s;t the Pox, would'&s;t thou love to hear on't? be&s;ides, what I do, is not &s;o much for my own &s;ake, as for my poor Wives.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Your Wife! your Whore you mean.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>She was my Whore once, 'tis true &mdash; but I have now Married her.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Lawfully are you &s;ure?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>So Par&s;on <HI>Clammy</HI> &s;ays: you know him.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>What is this <HI>Clammy?</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>O, a fellow of the true tone and cant, and famous among&s;t the long|ear'd Rout for his oily hand, goggle eyes, and &s;tinking breath.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>His Doctrine was not very &s;avoury, that's the truth on't, for all his double way of exerci&s;ing.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>His double way! prithee what's that?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Why his holding forth to the Men all day, and to the Women all night; that I call his double way.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>A precious brother indeed.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Then the green Ribbon Club I find is now di&s;pers'd: pray, where's your late friend and brother Sir <HI>Miles Mutinons?</HI></P>
</SP>
<PB REF="25" MS="y">
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Where? why in <HI>Nowgate.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>How! <HI>Newgate!</HI> who has Impeach't him?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>I, I my &s;elf, man: Impeach't him! and more than that, intend to hang him next Se&s;&s;ions.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>A fine, friendly, Chri&s;tian-like Act, in troth.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ay Gad &mdash; friend or father in &s;uch a ca&s;e: up they-go to &s;ave my own neck: I don't love hanging, for my part &mdash; others may.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well, thou art alter'd in thy nature, I &s;ee; prithee what Religion art?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh, Orthodox, good, &s;ound, &s;ub&s;tantial: I love Bi&s;hops with all my heart; Gad they keep excellent Tables.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>And 'tis for that, if the truth were known. Well, Sir, look to't, for if I find you change this Opinion.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>If you do, Hang me, Impeach, Carbonado, Frica&s;ee me: &mdash; I tell thee I am fix'd firm as a Rock; and &s;o farewell. I have ten quart Bumpers to drink to the Kings Health to night, and they &s;hall off as I'm an Orthodox Cap|tain; and &s;o a Pox of all Roundheads: Come away, boy.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Who dares tru&s;t mankind that &s;ees this fellow? I am re&s;olv'd to have a trick upon him; I'le &s;ift him once more; my Footman &s;hall be my Agent.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>And here opportunely he comes.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter Footman.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Footm.</SPEAKER>
<P>Sir, I dogg'd my Lady <HI>Lofty</HI> to the Captains hou&s;e, and heard her or|der her Footman to fetch the Coach thither.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Why then hey for a tryal of Skill: Come friend; Sirrha come you hither too, you mu&s;t do a bus'ne&s;s for me: You can Act a <HI>Scotch</HI> Prie&s;t, can't you, &s;irrha?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Footm.</SPEAKER>
<P>Bread a Gad, Can I, Sir? and weel too.</P>
</SP>
</DIV3>
<DIV3 N="2" TYPE="scene">
<HEAD>SCENE II.</HEAD>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Townly</HI> in Womens Cloaths, led in by Captain <HI>Porpu&s;s,</HI> and Boy after.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>FAir Lady, welcome aboard, heartily welcome, as a man may &s;ay: what, ho, there in the Cook-room? where's my Wife? have a little patience, Madam, and I'le fetch her in&s;tantly. &mdash;</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>'Sdeath how I tremble?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oones, what a &s;trapping Quean's this! what a Bulk &s;he bears! and true <HI>Flemi&s;h</HI> built, I &s;ee that, by her Foreca&s;tle: Gad &s;he's a brave Frigot, and by <HI>Ca&s;tor</HI> and <HI>Pollux</HI> I'le give her a Broad&s;ide pre&s;ently.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<PB REF="26" MS="y">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>The Devil cram thee into one of thy own Guns, and &s;hoot thee off at the <HI>Turks,</HI> e're thou liv'&s;t to fright <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="OXF" EXTENT="1+ letters">e &s;o agen.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Boy.</SPEAKER>
<P>Where did you meet him, Sir? I'm &s;ure he did not come by me.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>A Pox on him, at the Garden-gate, ju&s;t as I was whi&s;tling to get in; and &s;eeing me peep about, he bluntly ask'd me who I would &s;peak with? At that word I gave a &s;tart, that I believe would have &s;hook off Nature from a weaker con&s;titution, and made &s;hift to tell him, his Wife; and (I thank him) he is now going to fetch her to me.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Boy.</SPEAKER>
<P>The merchandize had need be good, I'm &s;ure you venture hard.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Sirrha I had no way to get to her, but by this di&s;guize: but, d'ee hear &s;irrha, go you in&s;tantly to my 'tother Mi&s;tre&s;s, the Lady <HI>Millicent,</HI> and de|&s;ire her to meet me at <HI>Lockets</HI> this evening; and excu&s;e my ab&s;ence, and tell her I'm involv'd in a damnable Suit of Law, and have this day had a Tryal before the Judges in <HI>We&s;tmin&s;ter</HI>-Hall: you Dog, you could tell a lye hand&s;omely once with a Pox to you.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Boy.</SPEAKER>
<P>O, Sir, never doubt me, I'm &s;till Ma&s;ter of my faculty.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>I hope I &s;hall be Mi&s;tre&s;s of mine, if I continue in this habit two hours longer. &mdash; A pretty, decent Garb this faith, and very proper to the bus'ne&s;s; for a Petticoat is as nece&s;&s;ary for one that de&s;igns to run to another mans Wife, as Breeches are for a woman that intends to run from her Husband: But hark! here they come; now to my po&s;ture.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter Captain and <HI>Livia.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Here is my Spou&s;e ready to embrace thee, fair <HI>Syren</HI> of the Rocks.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Madam, I beg your Lady&s;hips pardon, I have forgot you.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>What's that! forgot her?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Hell and the Devil! I &s;hall be betray'd; &s;he does not know me. Forget me, Madam? what, your dear Si&s;ter? <STAGE>Whi&s;pers.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>O, dear Madam! is it you? I beg your pardon a thou&s;and times; my dear (dear) Si&s;ter!</P>
<STAGE>Ki&s;&s;es him.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh! is your memory come agen? forget her Quotha! that's a good Je&s;t indeed.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>The &s;olace of my youth, &s;oul of my joys, my life, my heart, my dear, dear, &s;weet, charming &mdash;</P>
<STAGE>Ki&s;&s;es him.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ah poor Rogues, they make my mouth water to &s;ee 'em: 'Sbud, Madam, I'm but a rough-hew'n Courtier; I cannot prate, nor complement, nor chatter fragments of Damn'd Poetry, not I. &mdash; But if you will have a ta&s;te of my skill, you &s;hall: you &s;hall hear me &s;ay, and Box my Compa&s;s.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Plague that will be in&s;ufferable. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nore, Nore and by Ea&s;t, Nore, Nore-Ea&s;t, Nore-Ea&s;t and by Nore, Nore-Ea&s;t: Nore Ea&s;t and by Ea&s;t, Ea&s;t, Nore-Ea&s;t, Ea&s;t and by Nore, Ea&s;t: Ea&s;t and by Sou, Ea&s;t, Sou-Ea&s;t, Sou-Ea&s;t and by Ea&s;t, Sou-Ea&s;t: Sou-Ea&s;t and by Sou, Sou, Sou-Ea&s;t, Sou and by Ea&s;t: Sou, Sou and by We&s;t, Sou, Sou-We&s;t, Sou-We&s;t and by Sou, Sou-We&s;t: Sou We&s;t and by We&s;t, We&s;t, Sou-We&s;t, We&s;t and by Sou, We&s;t; We&s;t and by Nore, We&s;t, Nore-We&s;t, Nore-We&s;t and
<PB REF="26" MS="y"> by We&s;t, Nore-We&s;t: Nore-We&s;t and by Nore, Nore, Nore-We&s;t, Nore and by We&s;t, Nore.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Rachell.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Rachell.</SPEAKER>
<P>I mu&s;t have a trick to get this old <HI>Porpu&s;s</HI> out of the way, Sir; Captain <HI>Blu&s;ter</HI> has &s;ent his Man to de&s;ire your company at the <HI>Three Cranes</HI> about earne&s;t bus'ne&s;s.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Bus'ne&s;s! a Pox of his bus'ne&s;s, what does he trouble me for? Can|not he get a Commi&s;&s;ion for Convoy, cheat the King, and &s;o forth without me: Prithee tell him I'm engag'd here with this Fairy, this Cherubin has engag'd me: Gads-bud, well remembred, I'le &s;ecure you both my &s;elf till I come agen; faith here's an <HI>Alcove,</HI> the be&s;t in the World for that bus'ne&s;s: Come, Madam, nay no drawing back; by <HI>Mars</HI> 'tis a frolick, and I am re&s;olv'd to have my humour.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>I &s;hall laugh, I &s;hall never contain my &s;elf.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Spou&s;e, be &s;ure you be kind to her; d'ee hear; give her a Bu&s;s for me: D'ee &s;mile, Rogue? d'ee &s;mile? I'le be with you pre&s;ently, &s;aith: Get you in; go, get you in: <STAGE>Locks 'em in.</STAGE> So, if my bus'ne&s;s is not done now, the Devil's in't, for I'm &s;ure of her till my return; then, if &s;he yields upon a fair Summons, &s;o; if not, I'le blow up her upper Deck, by <HI>Jove;</HI> I'me a true Tar|pawlin; I'me for no Parlies. But now I'le go to the <HI>Three Cranes,</HI> and &s;ee for Captain <HI>Blu&s;ter.</HI></P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter Sir <HI>Walter.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>The old Blunderbu&s;s is gone, though long fir&s;t; I have bin &s;tow'd up in a Cole-hole under the Stairs for the&s;e two hours; the Spiders and I have Roo&s;ted together only to watch his going out; for I am re&s;olv'd to know the meaning of his Wives la&s;t project, for the Devil take me if I under&s;tood her; and who knows but it might be a Love-trick, a Sham, only to blind her Hus|bands eyes; I'm &s;ure I us'd to be a lucky Dog at the&s;e matters. Hark! &s;ure I hear her voice.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Within.</HI> Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Prithee let us laugh: I &s;wear this was the plea&s;ante&s;t Adventure I ever knew; Ha, ha, ha.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Within.</HI> Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>To bubble your Husband too, Madam, and make him the Procurer; Ha, ha, ha: Oh I could laugh eternally.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>The Devil! what's this I hear? <HI>Townly</HI> in the <HI>Alcove?</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Within.</HI> Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>And then to gull that Coxcomb, Sir <HI>Walter,</HI> of his Mi|&s;tre&s;s too, that Tool of Knighthood, that Copper-farthing with the Kings &s;tamp on't; to cheat him too is a true Scene of plea&s;ure; Ha, ha, ha.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Is it &s;o, damn'd Ra&s;cals? O, for a Pi&s;tol now charg'd with white Powder, that I might kill 'em both, and make no noi&s;e on't.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Could the In&s;ect imagine I lov'd him! what I love a fool?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Fool! Ha, ha, ha; oh the damnable ignorance of Women.</P>
</SP>
<PB REF="27" MS="y">
<STAGE>Enter Captain.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>I have bin at the <HI>Three Cranes,</HI> and the Devil of any one is there to &s;peak with me: &s;ure the Jilt abu&s;es me.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>The Captain! &s;o, now for revenge: now Jilt, now Ra&s;cal, I'le requite your treachery: now &s;hew a Jugling-trick and vani&s;h: now &s;hoot (like Atoms) through the key-hole, or like Mice under the door, if you can; I'le watch you, faith.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>How now! uds bud what's here? this damn'd Coxcomb-Knight no&s;ing my game already? what bus'ne&s;s have you here, Sir, ha?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Hu&s;h man, &s;peak lower; and if you have any regard to your honour, now look about you, for to my knowledge there is in that <HI>Alcove</HI> a per|&s;on with your Wife, whom &mdash;</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Whom perhaps you love? Oones I love her too, make your be&s;t on't.</P>
<STAGE>Offers to Draw.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Pi&s;h, prithee have patience, and hear me: why thou think'&s;t thou'rt in a Storm &s;ure by this blu&s;tering and &s;wearing: I tell thee there is a per&s;on in that <HI>Alcove</HI> &mdash; that &mdash;</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>That I de&s;ire &s;hould continue there &s;till.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Continue, Sir! what, with your Wife, Sir?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>With my Wife, Sir.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>What, <HI>Townly!</HI> that Villain <HI>Townly?</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Hey day! <HI>Townly!</HI> Ha, ha, ha, the fool's di&s;tracted; prithee is <HI>Townly</HI> a Man or a Woman, ha?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay &s;he can be&s;t tell by this time.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ay, ay, I'm a Cuckold, Ha, ha, ha, I'm a Cuckold, and <HI>Townly</HI> is with her, Ha, ha, ha?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>What a Pox d'ee laugh at? I tell you he is with her, I heard his voice.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well, Sir, let him be there, he'l do no hurt, Ha, ha, ha.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Do her no hurt? is the Devil in him? why, believe your eyes then; I'le open the door.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Sir, &s;tand off, I'le not have 'em di&s;turb'd, 'tis not civil.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not civil! a Pox &mdash; he's bewitch'd &s;ure; what, to be reveng'd of a man that lies with your Wife, not civil?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>I &s;ay, not civil, Sir.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Then you allow it?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes, Sir, I will allow any thing they do.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>And you &s;aw 'em go in?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ay, Sir; and more than that, I lock'd 'em in, and here's the key.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>One is too little; all the Devils have po&s;&s;e&s;s'd him: and you will be a Cuckold then? you are re&s;olv'd on't?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Now you lye, Sir, and &s;o I lower your top-fail; go, &s;cud away quickly, or (d'ee hear) I &s;hall grapple, I &s;hall board you; by this hand I &s;hall, Sir <HI>Watt.</HI></P>
<STAGE>Strikes off his Hat.</STAGE>
</SP>
<PB REF="27" MS="y">
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Why, Captain, are you mad? Do but hear me mun.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Away I &s;ay, before <HI>Durandon</HI> be un&s;heath'd.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>I tell you I heard him there; what a Devil ails him.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>I &s;hall &s;winge you confoundedly if you &s;tay.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Let me but open the door, and if I fly &mdash;</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ho, Bounce: there's a Gun then. Bounce: keep your Deck hoh.</P>
<STAGE>Strikes him.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>What a Devil ails him? why, Captain! &mdash;</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Hey boys, &s;he flies &mdash; Scowr, &s;cowr, &s;cowr; <STAGE>Runs him out.</STAGE> &s;o, &s;o, now the fool's gone, come out <HI>Chickens,</HI> come; <STAGE>&V;nlocks the door.</STAGE> and how does my Mi&s;tre&s;s do? ha! what almo&s;t tyr'd I warrant.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Townly</HI> and <HI>Livia.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>No indeed, Sir, I'le &s;tay another hour if you plea&s;e.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Good faith no &s;uch matter, l've a cup of Sack within came from <HI>Teneriff;</HI> come, we'l go and make a Collation, and &s;ing, and ki&s;s, and be merry; come &s;weet <HI>Pinnace:</HI> Gadzooks &s;he has the fine&s;t Buttocks; come Duck, come.</P>
<STAGE>Exeunt.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Thus far all is &s;erene and clear; pray heav'n no Storm happen hereafter, for I mu&s;t venture to go and part 'em, though I find it will be di<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="OXF" EXTENT="1+ letters">icult: <STAGE>Call within, <HI>Livia,</HI> my Dear.</STAGE> Hark! 'tis my Lady <HI>Lofty</HI>'s voice. But I mu&s;t beg her pardon now, I'm engag'd.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Gratiana</HI> and <HI>Wilding.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>Livia, Livia,</HI> where are you?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>An ill-natur'd beauty de&s;erves to want company; who is't you &s;eek?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>'Tis my misfortune to find one I don't &s;eek always.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Your notion is as treacherous as your humour: you would find me, I know you are in love with me.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>Obliging Vanity; for what I pray?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>My Per&s;on, my Humour, Language and Wit; all which you have the vanity to believe you can be&s;t judg of.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes, &s;o well judg, to know your deficiency in either of the&s;e, I thank my Stars.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Can you di&s;prove me?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Do.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>Fir&s;t for your Per&s;on then.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Come, what of that?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>Heav'n keep me from prophaning it; 'tis a lend, foppi&s;h, cen&s;orious, noi&s;y per&s;on, a meer piece of puff-pa&s;t, a fle&s;h-bag, that carries God a'mighty's fool to the Worlds great Mart, there &s;ells him to the Devil by Inch of Candle for a Suburo Whore, and a Bottle of Champaign.</P>
</SP>
<PB REF="28" MS="y">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>So, my Language?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>'Tis more barbarous than <HI>Dutch;</HI> your words are creeping, the very Reptils of Language, and one would gue&s;s your Tutor was a Waterman.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Very well. My Wit?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>Premeditation only; you are like a narrow-neck'd Bottle ha&s;tily turn'd downwards; upon &s;urprize one can get nothing out of you. You, Sir, (among&s;t all men) &s;hould love Plays, and pay double when you go; for 'twas a Comedy, and not a Colledge that &s;et you up for a Wit.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Excellent! Gad &s;he has put me into a &s;weat. If abu&s;ive railing may pa&s;s for Wit, Madam, I confe&s;s, you have &s;hewn &s;ome now.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>What! and to one I'm in love withall? Con&s;ider, Sir.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay, do you con&s;ider, Madam, you that are the very Mint of fal&s;|hood, in who&s;e face treachery and &s;miles are promi&s;cuou&s;ly joyn'd to cheat the adventurous fool that comes to barter &mdash; You are &mdash;</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>You are.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay, Gad, now you &s;hall hear what you are, [if I have a heart to &s;peak it. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
<P>You are one that nature doggedly de&s;ign'd a plague to vex mankind: have at you in Ver&s;e, y' faith.</P>
<LG>
<L>Your Virtue, which as little has</L>
<L>Of Beauty as your face,</L>
<L>Was giv'n not as a ble&s;&s;ing, but a guide</L>
<L>For men to &s;ee your vanity and pride.</L>
<L>Had you bin perfect, as ju&s;t heav'n Decreed with care you &s;hould not be,</L>
<L>I blu&s;h to think, how your Di&s;dain would feed upon mortality.</L>
<L>But &s;ince you are not good, nor kind, nor wi&s;e, whence can this pride ari&s;e,</L>
<L>That makes be&s;t graces &s;eem Deformities.</L>
</LG>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>So: the&s;e I dare &s;wear, Sir, are the fruits of your own Mu&s;e by their little wit, and much ill nature: and, I vow, I am &s;o ill at Rhiming, that I have only one poor Couplet to return by way of An&s;wer.</P>
<LG>
<L>Y'are Plea&s;ure's &s;lave, who&s;e heart wild pa&s;&s;ions rule;</L>
<L>To fools a Wit, but the witty Womans fool.</L>
</LG>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>'Sdeath I can hold out no longer: If &s;o many graces appear when &s;he's angry, what mu&s;t &s;he be when pleas'd.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>Come, Sir, your Repartee &mdash; what! are you grown dull o'th' &s;ud|dain?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>I &s;ee then, Madam, you'l never have done: Come, &s;peak on.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>I take no pride in &s;peaking of this &s;ubject.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>That you glory to affront our Sex, I have prov'd by my &s;elf.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>When you glory to begin Di&s;cour&s;es of this nature, 'tis rather you that give the affront.</P>
</SP>
<PB REF="28" MS="y">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Meer de&s;ign, upon my &s;oul, on my &s;ide, and only to try your humour and wit: why &s;hould we differ thus, Madam, and wa&s;te tho&s;e hours in tedious and unplea&s;ant wranglings, that &s;hould be &s;pent in the contrary extreme, kind wit, obliging looks, and tender notions.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>And would you kill your Darling Satyr then? Satyr, your bo&s;om|friend! and (if you are to &s;peak to a Woman) the very key of your Eloquence, and &s;oul of your Wit and Fancy.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Madam, this Satyr you &s;peak of is a <HI>Cupid,</HI> ble&s;s'd, &s;weet, and charming: you &s;aw it only in Di&s;gui&s;e, which now pull'd off, the God him&s;elf appears, kind, beautiful, and young, to glad my heart with love and tender pa&s;|&s;ion.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>Love! of what in the name of Virtue?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Of you. [Heav'n be prais'd 'tis out at la&s;t. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>Of me! Ha, ha, ha: I &s;wear you'r a fool then.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>I am &s;o, who can help it; yet &s;till I mu&s;t love on.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>Swear.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>By this dear hand.</P>
<STAGE>Kneels.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>Agen.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>The&s;e dazling lovely eyes, that pretty powting lip, that Angels face, and Wit more &s;acred, I do; &s;o help me Love, and &s;o may I thrive and pro&s;per.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>You have brought your &s;elf into a fine condition.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>The happie&s;t and mo&s;t &s;acred of my life. Loves intire &s;elf is here: my Heart's his Pallace, and every artery and vein about me is full of Love, no|thing but Love: Does not the &s;ympathetick power Charm you? Do you not feel him, Madam?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>A little.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>It will be more e're long: the Deity is now ju&s;t blowing up the Coles that are to Thaw that proud, hard, frozen heart; I know it will be mine: Come, bani&s;h (Madam) the Virgins pride and coyne&s;s, and let the <HI>Godde&s;s,</HI> like her &s;elf, appear: Say then you love, you will; &s;ay in&s;tantly, for every word again&s;t it carries Fate.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well, Sir, to &s;ave your life I will; but &mdash;</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ah dear, charming, heav'nly creature!</P>
<STAGE>Embraces her eagerly.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay, hear me out; for it concerns you nearly, be&s;ure you are con|&s;tant: I &s;ay, be &s;ure you are, for I am mon&s;trous pa&s;&s;ionate, and extremely jea|lous, and hate a Rival ev'n to Death and Hell; take heed to oblige in this, and then &mdash;</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Is there a plea&s;ure like Content in Love? No, 'tis impo&s;&s;ible.</P>
<LG>
<L>The Warriour &s;eeks the paths where Honour trod,</L>
<L>The Mi&s;er courts the wealthy dazling God.</L>
<L>But th' Lover &s;till the greate&s;t joy doth know,</L>
<L>By Beauty ble&s;s'd, gains Paradi&s;e below.</L>
</LG>
<STAGE>Exeunt.</STAGE>
</SP>
</DIV3>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 N="5" TYPE="act">
<PB REF="29" MS="y">
<HEAD>ACT. V.</HEAD>
<DIV3 N="1" TYPE="scene">
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Wilding</HI> and <HI>Benedick.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>THis comes of Railing, <HI>Tom:</HI> Did I not progno&s;ticate the re|&s;ult of this bu&s;ine&s;s? have I not hourly cultivated thee with that old phra&s;e, <HI>Amantium irae Amoris?</HI> and art thou &s;napt at la&s;t? Ha, ha, ha.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>You are merry, Sir; but he that laughs when there is no Je&s;t, is like one that has a damn'd &s;erious face, but no bu&s;ine&s;s, 'tis equally ridiculous.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ha, ha, ha, to rail one &s;elf into a pa&s;&s;ion, is the odde&s;t method I ever knew; 'tis a fit &s;ubject for a Scene; I intend to commend it to a Poet of my acquaintance.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Take heed, and pray that I get thee not at an advantage; for if I do, I will be a perpetual plague to thee. A Coward that by chance has won a prize, brags not &s;o much as I will Tyrannize.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ha, ha, ha; but &s;ee yonder's your man di&s;guis'd, coming with Sir <HI>Barnaby:</HI> I find the trick takes.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>The Rogue has dre&s;s'd him&s;elf like a <HI>Dominican;</HI> now for a Tryal of my Roundheads Orthodox-hone&s;ty; I believe I &s;hall find him a Recreant-Knight. Come, let's retire, and ob&s;erve.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter Sir <HI>Barnaby</HI> and <HI>Swift.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>How, Father? a <HI>Ba&s;&s;a's</HI> Widow, &s;ay you?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Swift.</SPEAKER>
<P>Gud feth is &s;he, Sir, and <HI>Neice</HI> tal the Grand Vizier.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>What, and in Love with me?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Swift.</SPEAKER>
<P>Sick, Sir, even to death for you; nay, if &s;he were not almo&s;t pa&s;t recovery, ye &s;hou'd not &s;o &s;oon ha' known it, Sir; poor Lady, &s;he was bred from an Infant under my Guardian&s;hip; I was her Confe&s;&s;or at <HI>Rome;</HI> and lately be|ing enjoyn'd a Pennance here into <HI>England</HI> to vi&s;it St. <HI>Coleman</HI>'s Tomb; 'tis her hard fate to fall in love, Sir; nay, is likely to throw away a va&s;t fortune upon a <HI>Heretick,</HI> a Prote&s;tant I fear; and if &s;o, &s;he's undone for ever.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Od's heart here's luck now: Nay, good Father &s;ay not &s;o, I am her Va&s;&s;al, her humble &s;lave, her dog, any thing.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Swift.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ay, Sir, there may be love enough; and though you are Married, we can get a Di&s;pen&s;ation: but where's the Ble&s;&s;ing? where's the Sanctification? Pray what Religion are ye, Sir?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>So, there' the Choak-pear; now li&s;ten. <STAGE>Peeping.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>What Religion am I? hum? why, faith, to tell thee the truth, Father, I am &mdash; hum &mdash; Of what Religion am I, d' you &s;ay?</P>
</SP>
<PB REF="29" MS="y">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ah! damn'd Rogue, now the word <HI>Orthodox</HI> can't get out of's mouth.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Swift.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ay, Sir, what Sect? what Opinion?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Opinion? why, look Father, I'me of Opinion that &mdash; but by the way fir&s;t, if I may be &s;o bold, pray what E&s;tate has this Lady? you &s;ay &s;he's very rich.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Swift.</SPEAKER>
<P>Why, Sir, if you happen to prove an hone&s;t, godly <HI>Roman Catholick,</HI> &s;he &s;hall have Ten thou&s;and pounds; but if you are a <HI>Prote&s;tant</HI> &mdash; <STAGE>Angrily.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not I man, I'me no <HI>Prote&s;tant,</HI> not I, nor never was, nor never will be, not I &mdash; 'Sbud Ten thou&s;and pounds. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Swift.</SPEAKER>
<P>Or own any Allegiance or Power but his Holine&s;s the Pope, and See of <HI>Rome.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not I, faith, the Pope's a very worthy, civil Gentleman; and for my part, I ever lov'd and honour'd him.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>So thou wou'd&s;t the Devil if he brought but Money enough.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Without doubt, and own him, the &s;ame civil, worthy Per&s;on.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Swift.</SPEAKER>
<P>Son, Son, I fear you are not &s;ound at heart; I fear the weed of He|re&s;ie has infected you, and you cannot di&s;pence with our Doctrine.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Pi&s;h, I can I tell thee with all my heart man, the Doctrine's a good Doctrine; yes, faith, I like the humour of't well enough, and will di&s;pence with't, bate me but the wearing of a hair Shirt, and u&s;ing father <HI>Whitebread</HI>'s uncon&s;cionable Cat of Nine-tails.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Swift.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not for the World, Sir; to what height wou'd that fle&s;h ri&s;e, were it not &s;ometimes Di&s;ciplin'd? you are full of &s;in, Son, Fat, fat, very fat.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Portly, portly, like the Ancient <HI>Briti&s;h</HI> Race, a Ve&s;&s;el of choice Wares, a Man of Kidney.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Swift.</SPEAKER>
<P>See how Fate orders things; I never cou'd per&s;wade this Wi&s;e Lady to love a Lean man: by St. <HI>Andrew</HI> &s;he never cou'd endure 'em.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Gad &s;he's a witty Woman, a mo&s;t ingenious per&s;on I warrant her: and Ten thou&s;and pounds too! &mdash; Uds bud there's a Sum, there's luck, there's fortune: Go thy ways brother Fat, Gad thou'rt a brave fellow: but, Father, where is &s;he, Father? I'me impatient; let me fix; let me &s;ee her.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Swift.</SPEAKER>
<P>Fir&s;t fix your faith, Sir; here are your Beads, the Con&s;ecrated tokens of your Conver&s;ion; be con&s;tant, and u&s;e 'em well; pray often, then be happy.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Faith I'le do what I can; but, Father, you'l do me a very great favour to oblige me with half a &s;core good taking prayers: for to deal ingenu|ou&s;ly with you, I am at pre&s;ent a little out of &s;orts; you know we Soldiers are &s;eldom very devout.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Swift.</SPEAKER>
<P>My care &s;hall &s;till attend you, Sir, &mdash; Gud feth. &mdash;</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter a Seaman with a Letter.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Seaman.</SPEAKER>
<P>For Father <HI>Sawney,</HI> the&s;e from <HI>Rhodes.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Swift.</SPEAKER>
<P>Hah! and come in mo&s;t happy time from her Uncle the <HI>Ba&s;&s;a,</HI> with|out who&s;e con&s;ent &s;he has formerly Vow'd not to Marry: and this Letter doubtle&s;s contains his plea&s;ure.</P>
</SP>
<PB REF="30" MS="y">
<STAGE>Reads.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Letter.</SPEAKER>
<P><Q REND="inline">Since my Neice is driven to &s;uch extremity, and that her ill fortune obliges her to Love one who&s;e Nation I hate; I am forc't to con&s;ent to't, but upon the&s;e two Conditions: Fir&s;t, that he be found of Quality; and, &s;econdly, that he immediately turn Mu&s;&s;elman, or el&s;e my Cur&s;e and <HI>Mahomets</HI> follow her.</Q></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Swift.</SPEAKER>
<P>Woons what's here! why, this is wor&s;t of all, ba&s;e, irreligious, wor&s;e, wor&s;e than any thing.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>What? what's that? what, does he &s;ay I mu&s;t turn Mu&s;tard|man?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Swift.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh! more impious, barbarous, far beyond the vaine&s;t of all Sects and Here&s;ies, a Fiend, a Mus&s;le-man.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Mus&s;leman! what a Fi&s;herman?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Swift.</SPEAKER>
<P>Wor&s;e, wor&s;e &s;till, far more criminal than the ba&s;e&s;t of Functions; he &s;ays you mu&s;t never Marry his Neice, unle&s;s you turn <HI>Turk.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>Turk!</HI> Well, well, &s;ince it can't be help't, I'le turn <HI>Turk,</HI> man, <HI>Jew, Moor, Graecian,</HI> any thing: Pox on't, I'le not lo&s;e a Lady, and &s;uch a &s;um for the &s;ake of any Religion under the Sun, by <HI>Mahomet</HI> not I. &mdash;</P>
<STAGE>Throws the Beads away.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Swift.</SPEAKER>
<P>But does not your Con&s;cience prick you a little?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not a jot, faith. Why you old fool, our Con&s;cience is our In|tere&s;t always, and I have not been a Rebel &s;o long &s;ure to have any &s;queami&s;h fits at the&s;e years.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Seaman.</SPEAKER>
<P>Our Expre&s;s from the <HI>Levant</HI> brings word of a Fleet of <HI>Turki&s;h|men</HI> coming hither, and 'tis &s;uppos'd upon &s;ome great de&s;ign.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Swift.</SPEAKER>
<P>There's your way, Son; and &s;ince it mu&s;t be &s;o, obey <HI>Mahomet;</HI> &s;ight for the <HI>Grand Signior,</HI> and win the Lady.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>I'le do't by <HI>Alha,</HI> by <HI>Mahomet</HI> I will; I'le go pre&s;ently and corrupt my Men; &s;ome with bribes, &s;ome with promi&s;es and fair words, others with preferments: Then &s;ow Sedition 'mong&s;t the <HI>Mobile,</HI> win 'em with Pots of Ale, and Peny Loa&s;s, to commit Ryots, Murders; there's your Policy! I'le do't I &s;ay; I'me &s;ure I'me &s;afe, for my A&s;trologer has &s;ecur'd my life, there|fore I'le go on; and when <HI>Signior Turk</HI> and I plunder the City, the Lady Mine, and Mine the Potent <HI>Bullion,</HI> then Grand&s;ire Grey-beard &s;halt thou be my <HI>Ba&s;&s;a.</HI></P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Wilding, Benedick</HI> and Officers.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>But e're that happen, grand Ra&s;eal, you &s;hall be hang'd.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>Wilding!</HI> then I'me undone, and all the Stars have fail'd me.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>By <HI>Mahomet</HI> have they, and mo&s;t ba&s;ely too; Thou Turn Coat &s;lave, where's your Orthodox Opinion now, your Healths in Ten quart Bumpers to the King? you are now fir&s;t for the Pope, and then for <HI>Mahomet,</HI> either, or any &s;ide, &s;o there's but Money: Plunder the City, rai&s;e the <HI>Mobile,</HI> Plot with a
<PB REF="30" MS="y"> Prie&s;t here, otherwi&s;e call'd my Foot-man, and Coach-man the Tarpawlin: What think you now, Sir?</P>
<STAGE>Pulls off their Di&s;gui&s;es.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>His Foot-man! was ever Politician &s;o o're-reacht.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Ju&s;tice.</SPEAKER>
<P>Secure him as a Traytor, and carry him to my hou&s;e, where I'le take his Examination, and accordingly make his <HI>Mittimus</HI> to <HI>Newgate.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Barn.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well, I &s;ee I mu&s;t be hang'd, and there's an end of't; but my A&s;trologer's a damn'd Dog for telling me I &s;hou'd be a Duke though. But come, &s;ince it can't be help't, I'le e'en &s;ay my prayers, and &s;uffer patiently, as the re&s;t of my Tribe have done before me.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Ju&s;tice.</SPEAKER>
<P>Away, away with him.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Was there ever &s;uch a Ra&s;cal?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes, Thou&s;ands in their hearts; but &s;ome are &s;tanch Politicians with a Pox to 'em.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Rogues that &s;peak Trea&s;on by allu&s;ion and <HI>&s;mile;</HI> a new way they have got, wou'd there were a new way of hanging too: but come, 'tis late, my Mi&s;tre&s;s treats to night, thou &s;halt &s;up with me there.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Your Mi&s;tre&s;s! oh, is it come to that?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes, Sir, and &s;hall continue &s;o, I'm now Converted.</P>
<STAGE>Exeunt.</STAGE>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Millicent</HI> and <HI>Townly</HI>'s Man.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>Was not that Mr. <HI>Wildings</HI> Coach that went away ju&s;t as we came in.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Serv.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes, Madam, and I heard him bid drive to my Lady <HI>Lofty's.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>Pray heav'n he did not &s;ee me: Friend, your Ma&s;ter is a very naugh|ty per&s;on to occa&s;ion me to venture my reputation in &s;uch a cen&s;orious place.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Serv.</SPEAKER>
<P>He'l repair that fault, Madam, when he delivers his bu&s;ine&s;s.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>Lord, what an odious hou&s;e 'tis! &s;ough, what a &s;tink is here of Tobacco? Can this be a place of plea&s;ure for men of &s;en&s;e?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Serv.</SPEAKER>
<P>Now, Madam, I hope you will believe me: here's my Ma&s;ter.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Townly</HI> in Womens Cloaths.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>This he? what, and Metamorphos'd to an <HI>Exchange</HI>-Wench?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<LG>
<L>So <HI>Jove,</HI> the Sire of all the Gods above,</L>
<L>Transform'd him&s;elf to gain <HI>Europa</HI>'s Love.</L>
</LG>
<P>Madam, I &s;ee you'r a Woman of Honour by being thus punctual, and ought to be tru&s;ted another time.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>I doubt that's more than I can &s;afely &s;ay of you; I hope your Law|bu&s;ine&s;s is ended, Sir?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes, I have overthrown my Adver&s;ary at la&s;t; but we had a long bout of't fir&s;t, faith.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>And you came ju&s;t now from <HI>We&s;tmin&s;ter-Hall</HI> in this garb?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>No Child, in this garb, no: I only devis'd this to be &s;ecure from di&s;covery; for if I am not mi&s;taken, I &s;aw Sir <HI>Walter</HI> below in a Ground-room; and he and I are fallen out of late.</P>
</SP>
<PB REF="31" MS="y">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>Sir <HI>Walter!</HI> What a fright am I in? are you &s;ure he did not &s;ee me?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>No, nor me neither; he was very bu&s;ie playing at Tick-tack with one of the Drawers.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter Servant with Cloaths.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Serv.</SPEAKER>
<P>Sir, the Porter has brought your Cloaths.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>So, &s;o that's well: Come, &s;irrah, help me to Unrig: Pull off the&s;e damn'd Cobweb-Caps here, and give me my Peruke.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>And did you really di&s;gui&s;e your &s;elf thus for my &s;ake?</P>
<STAGE>Puts on his Wigg.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Upon my &s;oul did I; and if you don't think this a proof of my Love and Con&s;tancy, Gad, Madam, you're ungrateful.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay, rather than be thought &s;o, I will believe you.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>You have rea&s;on I think; you know I hate Lying. Come, &s;irrah, give me my Coat.</P>
<STAGE>Boy helps it on.</STAGE>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter the Captain.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>I dogg'd my beloved Pinnace to this hou&s;e, and have now lo&s;t her: 'Sbud I'me afraid &s;he's no better than a Fire&s;hip, and ten to one comes here to be Man'd. How now! who are the&s;e?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Dammee, Sir, is this civil to intrude? Hah! the Captain!</P>
<STAGE>Starts.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh! fatal Chance!</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oones, what's here a Man! Oh! I'me undone! abus'd! a Cuckold! oh! damn'd Whore, what turn'd to a Man?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Serv.</SPEAKER>
<P>How! the Captain? nay, then all's di&s;cover'd; but I'le run and Inform Madam <HI>Livia,</HI> it may be &s;he may help my Ma&s;ter.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>A <HI>Hermophrodite,</HI> a Man! Oh! Villain, I'le give thee a Chace Gun pre&s;ently, a damn'd Son of a Whore.</P>
<STAGE>Draws.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>A Man! what d' you mean, Sir? why I'me a Woman I a&s;&s;ure you, and a near Relation of this Lady's, upon my Honour.</P>
<STAGE>Court'&s;ies.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>What, a Woman?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes, and this habit is only a preparation for a Ma&s;querade to night; pray reform your Error, and do not fright me, Sir; I tell you I'me a Woman.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>'Sbud &s;how, &s;how, I'le not believe you unle&s;s you &s;how.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>'Sdeath what &s;hall I do; nay more than that, Sir, upon my Honour I'me quick with Child.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>How, Quick! that's very likely: Oh! Dolt, Dunce, Fool, not to per|ceive the cheat before. Quick in the Devil's name.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>This is &s;trange-rudene&s;s, Sir, to one you never &s;aw before.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>No, no, I did not bring my Wife to you this afternoon, did I?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>How, bring his Wife to him?</P>
</SP>
<PB REF="31" MS="y">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>To me, Sir? Oh! the Devil now all comes out. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>No, no, nor like a Sea-Calf as I was, I did not lock ye both up to|gether in the <HI>Alcove,</HI> did I?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>'Tis plain now, this di&s;gui&s;e was not meant to me, but <HI>Livia.</HI> Oh! perjur'd Traytor!</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>That I am a Cuckold, is mo&s;t certain and a notorious Cuckold, and by my own contrivance too; had I been tran&s;lated to a Sea hor&s;e, a Dog, a Calf, or any bea&s;t but that, I &s;hou'd have been contented: but a Sea-Cuckold, 'sbud 'tis the mo&s;t horrid Mon&s;ter it has.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>A Cuckold! why then, Sir, upon my faith I'me incapacitated for any &s;uch bu&s;ine&s;s.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>A plague of your Capacity, I'le &s;cowr your Mid&s;hips pre&s;ently; thus, Sir, and thus Mon&s;ieur <HI>Rampant.</HI></P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter Sir <HI>Walter.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>How now, what's the matter?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>A Ra&s;cal, a Cheat, a Cuckold-making Villain.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>How, <HI>Townly?</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>What, <HI>Townly?</HI> Oh! Damn'd Rogue, is't he all this while too?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>So, I've made a fine bu&s;ine&s;s on't.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh, Traytor! have we catcht you at la&s;t? Mawl him, Captain, Mawl him, he has Mawl'd you in the per&s;on of your Wife, to my knowledge. Hah! what's there my Spou&s;e too!</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>My Husband! Oh! cur&s;t minute!</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay, he has mawl'd us both if the truth were known.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>My Wife found with him in an Eating <HI>alias</HI> Bawdy-hou&s;e: Ay, 'tis evident now I'me a Cuckold both ways.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>However this Horn of mine &s;hall knock his brains out.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>And mine.</P>
<STAGE>Strikes him.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>'Sdeath I &s;hall be Murder'd.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter Three Officers.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>1 Offic.</SPEAKER>
<P>Here he is: Sir, I arre&s;t you at the Suit of <HI>Timothy Turpentine,</HI> in an Action of 500 <HI>l.</HI> Come, you mu&s;t along with me.</P>
<STAGE>Gives a paper.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Sir <HI>Timothy Turpentine?</HI> what a Pox is the meaning of this? I know no &s;uch man: 'Tis <HI>Livia's</HI> hand; oh! the dear Creature.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Reads.</STAGE>
<SP>
<Q>I que&s;tion whether you de&s;erve this; however, knowing your nece&s;&s;ity, I have contriv'd to get you off; meet me at the corner of the next Street, and hereafter (if po&s;&s;ibly your &s;ex can) be grateful.</Q>
</SP>
<PB REF="32" MS="y">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>1 Offic.</SPEAKER>
<P>Sir we are not us'd to delay; come, Brother, take him away.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ay, and the Devil go with him&punc;</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well, Gentlemen, &s;tay till I put on my Breeches, and I'le obey your Authority.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>1 Offic.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh! Sir, we'l take care of the Breeches, never fear: Come away, away.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>No remedy, no revenge upon this Ra&s;cal; have I boarded and took a <HI>Galia&s;s</HI> of the <HI>Turks</HI> with 800 Men in her, to lo&s;e my Honour here at home by a damn'd Fly-boat, with one Gun, a Fi&s;herman, a Flap-Dragon, a Plague upon his Capacity.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>This comes of Pimping, Captain; you mu&s;t keep the door; 'twas not civil to di&s;turb 'em; a fine time to u&s;e manners in, by my troth: And a man of &s;en&s;e, as I was, was not to be believ'd; your own Judgment, for&s;ooth, mu&s;t pa&s;s, not knowing that 'tis as unnatural for a true Tarpawlin to have Wit, as a true Wit to have Money.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>This comes of Matrimony. On my Con&s;cience I had been an Ad|miral before now, if it had not been for a damn'd Wi&s;e.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Come, prithee let's go and make our &s;elves drunk to put us in heart. 'Tis &s;ome comfort to me however, to know that this blu&s;t'ring fool is a Cuckold as well as my &s;elf. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>A Quean, a Jilt; Oons I'le go home and flea her.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>And &s;o will I mine: and, Captain, do&s;t hear, we'l have two pair of Gloves made of their skins, and make a pre&s;ent of 'em to the Devil, to keep us from any more &s;uch bargains.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>With all my heart, Gads bud.</P>
<STAGE>Exeunt.</STAGE>
</SP>
</DIV3>
<DIV3 N="2" TYPE="scene">
<HEAD>SCENE II.</HEAD>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Winifrid</HI> and <HI>Rachel.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>RAchels.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Rach.</SPEAKER>
<P>Madam.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Give me the Pomatums and her Night-gloves; her hands have bin fery exceeding rough all this day.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Rach.</SPEAKER>
<P>There has been a &s;harp Air, Madam.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Got ple&s;s me, how pale her looks! It has made her lips chap too.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Rach.</SPEAKER>
<P>All will be &s;mooth and beautiful to morrow, Madam.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>No, I vow my pewties, I think, is in decays, as Moons in Wanes, or Flowers in Autumns. <HI>Rachels,</HI> how do&s;t thou like me in the&s;e Dre&s;&s;es? &s;hould'&s;t
<PB REF="32" MS="y"> thou have heart-burnings and pa&s;&s;ions for me, if thou wert a Gentlemans, hah?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Rach.</SPEAKER>
<P>I wou'd I were one to put you to the proof.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay, without doubt the&s;e Pinners mu&s;t be pecoming in beds, where there is good faces, look you; but what nauceous, ugly Night-dre&s;&s;es the men have, as got ple&s;s me; I never &s;ee a mans with his Crop-ears and his Night-caps, but I think upon crete Rogue, one <HI>Shinkin, ap Powell, ap Shone, ap Davy, ap Cadwaller,</HI> that was hang'd in <HI>Montgomery.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Rach.</SPEAKER>
<P>Will not Mr. <HI>Benedick</HI> go down with you, Madam? he, I hope, has a face that wou'd &s;et off any Dre&s;s.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Dull faces is the wor&s;t of all I vow, he is the fery Snail of his Sex, and much fitter for Lawyers, than Lovers; he wou'd lo&s;e Mi&s;tre&s;s for punctilio's, like a &s;illy Rogues; and as, got &s;ave me, he that lo&s;es one critical minute, &s;hou'd never be happy by another for <HI>Winifrid.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Rach.</SPEAKER>
<P>I ever took him for a brisker man than to lo&s;e any Love-occa&s;ion.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Fery good, then you do not know him &s;o well as I, <HI>Rachels;</HI> pe&s;ides, he has put wrongs and affronts upon <HI>Winny;</HI> and when her <HI>Wel&s;h</HI> pload's up, Gads plut Revenges &s;hall follow: Therefore, <HI>Rachels,</HI> per&s;ure you perform my Or|ders.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Rach.</SPEAKER>
<P>I have made ready the Hanging-bed, Madam, and Oyl'd the Cords and Pulleys, as you bid me, but am wholly ignorant of your de&s;ign.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>De&s;igns is cood and fertuous, I wou'd expo&s;e leud fellows to Eyes and Ob&s;ervations, and Jeers and Laughters, look you: Heark what noi&s;e is that! 'tis he I hope: and now for <HI>Wel&s;h</HI> tricks and fallacies.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Gratiana, Townly, Livia.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Mo&s;t certainly he has di&s;cover'd us, for he &s;aw us take Coach.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>And, Madam, are you &s;ure he pur&s;u'd you hither?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ah! too &s;ure, Madam, he's at the door by this time; and being almo&s;t drunk, is po&s;&s;e&s;t with the &s;trange&s;t fury and ill-nature, that unle&s;s you conceal me, who knows what his Barbarity may incite him to. Ah! Madam, Heav'n keep you from &s;uch a Husband.</P>
<STAGE>Weeps.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ah! Dear cunning Creature! <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>If the&s;e are the ble&s;&s;ings incident to &s;uch a life, I think the Prayer is nece&s;&s;ary. Come, Madam, be comforted, and all the a&s;&s;i&s;tance I can lend you be &s;ure of. Poor &s;oul, &s;he weeps extremely.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Weep! I, Mill-&s;tones.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>You are not involv'd in this bu&s;ine&s;s; I hope, Sir, the Captain has no rea&s;on to extend his rage to you.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not to me, 'dsheart I am plung'd deepe&s;t of all, Madam; he de|&s;igns to cut my Throat, to Stab, to Pi&s;tol me only for taking her part.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>Madam, that door opens into a private, back Apartment; go and lock your &s;elf in, whil&s;t I try if I can pacifie him: Hark! I think I hear him, in, in quickly: Nay, not you, Sir, I tell you 'tis a pri|vate Apartment, and not fit to entertain men.</P>
<STAGE>Exit <HI>Livia.</HI></STAGE>
</SP>
<PB REF="33" MS="y">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Entertainment! The Devil take me, Madam, if I expect any.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>You'l not be rude I hope, Sir; pray come back, I wonder what you take me for.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Take thee for? why a good, fair, charming: Ah! Plague here &s;hall I &s;tand chatting punctilio's till I have a Bullet lodg'd in my head. For Heav'ns &s;ake, Madam; if not there, &s;how me &s;ome other place; for if he &s;ees me, I'me undone.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh! you can &s;hift, Sir, you can &s;hift; your &s;ex is excellent at it; and were you di&s;tre&s;s'd, I know cou'd climb a Chimney as dextrou&s;ly as e're a black boy in <HI>Shoreditch.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes, choak't with Soot, e're I got half way, come tumbling down like a &s;moak't Flitch of Bacon.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>Or upon occa&s;ion to &s;how your Agility, leap from a Window; the&s;e are large, and wide, Sir, and fit for &s;uch a purpo&s;e.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ay, and high enough to break ones neck too; 'Sdeath, Madam, d' you make a Gib-Cat of me, and think I can leap three Stories, and pitch up|on all four; Fye, fye, I be&s;eech you have Charity.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>What, lock you up in the dark with another mans Wife; a very de|cent piece of Charity indeed: but by this fear of yours, Sir, I gue&s;s you to be &s;ome Criminal; I have heard &s;he had a Gallant; and now I think on't, it may be you are the Man.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Now a lucky lye to help me off, or I'me ruin'd: <HI>Tom Wilding,</HI> Madam, indeed was &s;u&s;pected: but for my part, I never had &s;uch good for|tune, I.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>What is't he &s;ays, <HI>Wilding?</HI> who, Sir? Pray that agen.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Mr. <HI>Wilding,</HI> Madam, a witty man, and the be&s;t at a Wheadle and Town-Gallantry of any one I know.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>Perjur'd Traytor! how oft has he &s;wore he never Lov'd any one but me? And, Sir, are you &s;ure he is the man?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Madam, why all the Town knows it: I know he's too cunning to confe&s;s any thing: Come, dear Madam, &s;ome Lobby or Clo&s;et, &s;omething Hark! what noi&s;e is that?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>There is no Faith in man; none, none I &s;wear; for when they vow, they lye; and if they weep, 'tis Crocodile-like, after they have done a mi&s;chief. Once more then farewell, &s;oft pa&s;&s;ion, and all my tide of Love now turn to Anger.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay, Madam, Madam, &mdash; What gone at la&s;t, and left me, the De|vil's in the&s;e Virtuous Women, they are ever ill-natur'd. An hone&s;t, good-humour'd Whore wou'd have been damn'd e're &s;he wou'd have left a Man &s;o, but wou'd have found &s;ome hole or other to put one in. Well, here's hang|ings however, Gad I'le creep like a Rat in here, &s;ince there is no other hopes.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Millicent</HI> and <HI>Rachel.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>Is it po&s;&s;ible there can be &s;uch Treachery? are you &s;ure you &s;aw him here with <HI>Livia?</HI> <STAGE>Angrily.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<PB REF="33" MS="y">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Rach.</SPEAKER>
<P>Mr. <HI>Townly</HI> is a Man &s;o generally known, Madam, that you need not fear my mi&s;take.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>'Tis plain now, the Arre&s;t was only a trick of hers to get him off; Oh! &s;ubtle Devil, &s;he out-wits me every way. Well, bring me but to him, and I have my wi&s;h: there's a Pur&s;e for thee; an Earne&s;t of a greater reward, if I find thou can&s;t keep a &s;ecret.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Rach.</SPEAKER>
<P>So the&s;e are the infallible keys that unlock the Con&s;ciences of all my Function: This is certainly one of <HI>Townly</HI>'s conveniencies; a Mi&s;s of Qua|lity, as he calls 'em, that is grown jealous, has dogg'd him hither, and de&s;igns hereafter to make him pay for his Treachery. Madam, I have con&s;ider'd on't, and will do my be&s;t endeavour to &s;erve you; pray follow me &s;oftly, I'me &s;ure he's not far off.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>Believe a man when he &s;wears? No, I'de believe the Devil &s;ooner, if he &s;hou'd take a Gho&s;tly Oath for Reformation.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Benedick</HI> and <HI>Winifrid.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>And will you Marry me, as Got ple&s;s you? will you always have Loves and Fidelities indeed?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh! will I live? will I be happy? prithee do not doubt me.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>I fow my heart does &s;o tremble and peat, and her was &s;o a|&s;ham'd.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Of what, my Dear? there is no cau&s;e.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh! there is crete Cau&s;es; for when firginities is gone, what will pecome of my poor Souls, look you?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Thy Soul! why, it &s;hall be exchang'd for mine, and, happy we, &s;hall by the Tran&s;migration be Immortal.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>I &s;wear you are fery leud mans to tempt me thus.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>I &s;wear you are more cruel to deny me thus.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh! Heav'ns! but her was afraid 'tis grievous &s;ins.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>'P&s;haw, 'p&s;haw, a Sin! no, no, a Trifle, no more than telling a lye, a Venial Error. Gad I mu&s;t make ha&s;te, for if &s;he get once into a Reli|gious vein, the Devil can't retrieve her. Come, come dear creature, delay is death to me.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well, get you to that ped there, I'le go and di&s;po&s;e <HI>Rachels</HI> out of the way, and then if you will be &s;o unnaturals.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Do not believe I will. Go fly then with all the Wings of Love, for I &s;hall wait thee with impatience.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Alas poor fools, her &s;hall return too &s;oon if her knew all. Now for the re&s;t of tricks and projects, and then <HI>Winny</HI> &s;hall laugh, and take re|venges of dull fellows, that lo&s;e Ple&s;&s;ings, and Critical Minutes, and Love-&s;ea&s;ons.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Con&s;ent adds as much to the Joys of Love as Beauty; 'tis the life, the &s;oul of Enjoyment, when a dear-bought Amour, by talking, toyling, &s;weating and &s;trugling dimini&s;hes half the plea&s;ure; and is ju&s;t like one that
<PB REF="34" MS="y"> rides a tedious Journey upon a damn'd trotting Hor&s;e, to po&s;&s;e&s;s an incon&s;ide|rable profit, not worth a quarter of his pains. She &s;tays long, pray heav'n &s;he does not fall into a Fit of Religion agen, that's all my fear.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>within. &mdash; There's a Room lock't; by <HI>Mars</HI> I'le &s;ee what's there.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Hark! what noi&s;e is that? a plague on her trifling; if &s;he'de come and lock the door, we &s;hou'd be &s;afe.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Cap.</SPEAKER>
<P>I'le hear no Excu&s;es, either let me &s;earch fairly, or I'le &s;end for my Lord Chief Ju&s;tices Warrant.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Livia.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Was ever poor Woman &s;o di&s;tre&s;s'd? if I had &s;taid a minute longer in that room, he had certainly found me, for 'tis unfurni&s;h'd, and has no place of &s;helter. Where I am, I know not, nor what way to e&s;cape. Oh! for a favourable Window now, but one Story high, opening into a heav'nly Garden; I'de venture a Leg or an Arm with all my heart: Hark! he's coming, oh! whither &s;hall I run. &mdash; Ha, what's here a bed? I think 'tis &s;o; I'le wrap my &s;elf in the Bed-cloaths, it may be &s;ome obliging Deity will pity me, and ca&s;t a mi&s;t before his Eyes.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>She keeps her word I &s;ee.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ah! what's here a Man. <STAGE><HI>Bened.</HI> goes to embrace her, &s;he &s;hrieks and &s;tarts back.</STAGE> Pray Sir, let me go, I am not the per&s;on you expect. <STAGE>Here the Bed is drawn up.</STAGE> What's here a Che&s;t? I'le get in here, it may be this may &s;ecure me. <STAGE>Gets into the Che&s;t.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Search you that Cabin, Sir <HI>Walter,</HI> whil&s;t I go in here and &s;ound yon|der Sugar-Che&s;t.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>Hah! that's a mans voice, &s;ome-body is coming in hither &s;ure; but, by way of prevention, I'le go and bolt the door. How now! what a De|vil is the meaning of this? where's the Floor? I believe the Devil is building, and has taken it away to &s;upply his Dome&s;tick occa&s;ions.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter Captain and <HI>Gratiana.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>Jealou&s;ie, like &s;ickne&s;s, is ever forming mon&s;trous fancies: Pray what have you found now? wou'd he had her, for I hate her for that Traytor <HI>Wild|ing</HI>'s &s;ake. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>She Scuds before the Wind now, but I &s;hall weather her anon: How now? what have we here a bed, and hanging in the Air by Geometry?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>My Nieces bed, Sir, made after the manner of a <HI>Wel&s;h Hamock;</HI> I believe &s;he's in it too, you had be&s;t be rude now, and di&s;turb her.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Hamock? why how the Devil can &s;he get into it? Oons can &s;he fly?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>No, Sir, and yet make u&s;e of it when &s;he has occa&s;ion.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Come, come, I'le &s;earch, I'le &s;ee who's there. &mdash; Well, what News, Sir <HI>Walter?</HI></P>
</SP>
<PB REF="34" MS="y">
<STAGE>Enter Sir <HI>Walter.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>News! rare News, ble&s;&s;ed News; why I have found 'em at la&s;t; there has been hopeful doings yonder behind the Hangings.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Between whom?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ev'n <HI>Townly</HI> and your ble&s;&s;ed Wife; they have been Communi|cating, it &s;eems, for your good, Captain.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh Dog! oh Ra&s;cal! &s;teer me to him quickly &mdash; 'Sbud I'le flea him as I wou'd do an Eel.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>I can but laugh to think how demurely, how &s;neakingly the Rogue &s;tood up in the corner among the Cobwebs.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>A Pox, bring me to him; do that; let me &s;ee him.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>So this will be &s;ome revenge upon her however. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>They are &s;ecur'd, and I'le &s;hew thee the place; but I'le not be &s;een in per&s;on, for a private rea&s;on, be&s;t known to my &s;elf.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nor I neither, though I wi&s;h her the puni&s;hment &s;he de&s;erves; I'le not be acce&s;&s;ary. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>I care not, away, Port hard, and put the Keel a-Weather; away, &s;cowr.</P>
<STAGE>Exeunt.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>So, now I hope Fortune will &s;mile upon me.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>'Sdeath here's a whole Troop coming, and <HI>Wilding</HI> among&s;t 'em; is there no way to e&s;cape?</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter Sir <HI>Walter, Wilding, Winifrid,</HI> and Servants.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ha, ha, ha; there in that hanging-bed, &s;ay'&s;t thou?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes, I fow in Altitudes and Expectations of <HI>Win<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="OXF" EXTENT="1 letter">y</HI>'s company's; Alas! poor Shentleman's.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Omnes.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ha, ha, ha.</P>
<STAGE>All laugh at <HI>Benedick.</HI></STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>How <HI>Benedick?</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Cood morrows, cood Sir, methinks Loves, and Pa&s;&s;ions, and kind Pedfellows makes her look fery pale and wan, cood Sir.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>This comes of Whoring, <HI>Benedick;</HI> this comes of Whoring.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>How? is &s;he angry, &s;ay'&s;t thou?</P>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Rachel,</HI> and whi&s;pers <HI>Wilding.</HI></STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ha, ha, ha.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Bened.</SPEAKER>
<P>I &s;hall be angry, Sir, if you pur&s;ue this humour; but for thee, I'le only give thee this Cur&s;e, may Pride, Pox, and Poverty po&s;&s;e&s;s thee till thou art nau&s;eous to thy own Sex, and contemptible to ours.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ah, &s;ay your prayers petter, and chu&s;e ple&s;&s;ed minutes and oppor|tunities, you never el&s;e will win fair Ladies, upon my Souls, look you.</P>
</SP>
<PB REF="35" MS="y">
<STAGE>Enter Captain and <HI>Townly</HI> fighting, <HI>Millicent</HI> Mask't, and Servants.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ud&s;o, the Porpoi&s;e appears now, cheer up my hearts, here's a Storm a coming. So, Captain, you have found 'em I &s;ee. <STAGE>Parting 'em.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Found who, Sir? what mean you, Sir, Hoh?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Mean, Sir, hoh? I mean you're a Cuckold, Sir; what a Pox &s;hou'd I mean?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>With your favour, Sir, I ever give precedence to one of your Qua|lity; you are a Knight, Sir.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>But my Wife is no &s;uch Strumpet, Sir, to follow a man about the Town, Sir; Ha, ha, ha. Nay, Madam, you mu&s;t not leave us, faith.</P>
<STAGE>She's going, and he holds her.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>No, faith Madam, you mu&s;t not leave us, you mu&s;t unvail fir&s;t; yours is a face, the Gentleman may know if he looks twice upon't.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes, yes, I have had the Honour to &s;ee her: &mdash; What's here? what my Wife!</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>No, no, a Strumpet, a Quean, that follows every man, Ha, ha; ha.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>My Spou&s;e! oh! Impudent! oh! Salacious Varlet! Jilt! <HI>Je|&s;abel!</HI> let me come to her.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Pray hear me, Sir.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ay, pray hear him, Sir.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes, you're a precious fellow to be heard, Sir: Oh, Ra&s;cal, did you not &s;wear by <HI>Gog,</HI> and <HI>Magog,</HI> and two or three Devils more, never to Violate the Per&s;on of my Wife.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nor have I, Sir, upon my faith.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mill.</SPEAKER>
<P>This is my time to e&s;cape, if ever, and I &s;ee I mu&s;t make u&s;e of it.</P>
<STAGE>Exit.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>And did I not for this rea&s;on read her o're, as it were a Lecture to thee? nay, there's ne're a Wart nor a Mole about her but I de&s;crib'd, like a Son of a Whore as I was.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>I confe&s;s it, Sir, and my Fidelity both to her and you, I hope, has been apparent.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ay, ay, behind the Hangings very apparent indeed. Well, &s;ince this is the fate of Wiving; 'Sbud, for the future, I'le ev'n revenge my &s;elf in the &s;ame manner; I have two Whores that lye yonder at <HI>Wapping,</HI> they are well wa&s;h't, and tallow'd, and want only Rigging: by <HI>Mars</HI> I'le board 'em to night.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>What, both, Sir? both I be&s;eech you, &s;pare one till to morrow. <STAGE>Peeping out of the Che&s;t.</STAGE></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>My Wife here too, and conceal'd in the Sugar-Che&s;t.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Shall not I have the Honour to warm their Night-Cloaths, or untye their Shooes, Sir? a poor Ca&s;t Saylor of yours that wants employment.</P>
</SP>
<PB REF="35" MS="y">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>No, Mi&s;tre&s;s, you are Boarded already, it &s;eems by a new Officer there, and no doubt but he has giv'n thee Pre&s;s-money.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not yet, Sir; I am not prepar'd; I am not Wa&s;h't nor Tallow'd, as your two Whores are at <HI>Wapping.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Plague on her, the Jade has got the Wind on me.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Behaving your &s;elf &s;o honourably towards me, cou'd you not for|bear being Jealous, Sir? nay, and of Mr. <HI>Townly</HI> too, when had not his In|trigue with my Lady <HI>Millicent</HI> a little free'd me, Lord, what a Storm poor I &s;hou'd have &s;uffer'd under your boi&s;terous imagination.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Thou notorious Varlet, did not I po&s;itively enjoyn thee to rules of mode&s;ty, and not to touch any thing bare above her ankle, hah? Hold up your hand; art thou Guilty, or not Guilty? hah?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not Guilty, my Lord.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well, though I know thou lye&s;t, a Pox take thee, I will be|lieve thee, becau&s;e 'tis for my quiet; but I will fight with thee too, becau&s;e it is for my honour; make thee beg thy life, and afterwards kill thee to &s;atisfie my revenge; for thou ha&s;t, I vehemently &s;u&s;pect, made me a double Cuckold both in Wife and Mi&s;tre&s;s, and therefore double &s;hall be the puni&s;hment.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay, it &s;hall be Treble, for I'le have a &s;nack of him, by <HI>Mars.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>So I &s;hall be cut into &s;teakes &s;ure, and fry'd for their Suppers: Look, Gentlemen, pray no more words on't; as far as my Sword can go, 'tis heartily at your &s;ervice.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER><HI>Sir</HI> Walt.</SPEAKER>
<P>When this is done, I'le bid farewell to this damn'd debauch'd Town; for my part, I'le &s;cowr down to <HI>Lanca&s;hire</HI> and reap my Barley.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>And I'le to Sea agen, I and my Jolly Crew.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>Whores and all, Sir?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Capt.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes, Buttock, Whores and all; there will I Conquer &s;ome flouri&s;hing I&s;land, where I will plant a Colony, live out the re&s;t of my days merrily, and defie the Devil and Fortune.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Livia.</SPEAKER>
<P>And I, poor melancholy Widow, will devote my &s;elf to my Clo&s;et, and &s;pend the re&s;t of my days in Prayers and Contemplations.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Winif.</SPEAKER>
<P>And that is fery &s;ollitary livings and recreations, upon my &s;oul is it, look you.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter <HI>Wilding</HI> and <HI>Gratiana.</HI></STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not to hear my defence, is barbarous.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>'Tis Ju&s;tice when the wrong's &s;o palpable.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Your humour makes 'em &s;o, although they are not.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>You are rude, pray keep your way.</P>
<STAGE>Flings away.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>There's no &s;uch Pride as Womans!</P>
<LG>
<L>The Ambitious State&s;man gay, and fond of Rule,</L>
<L>The Witle&s;s Courtier, and the Up&s;tart Fool</L>
</LG>
<P>had never half this Vanity; yet you &s;hall &s;ee your Error. Heark, Sir! did you tell this Lady I was a Servant to Madam <HI>Livia</HI> there. <STAGE>To <HI>Townly.</HI></STAGE></P>
</SP>
<PB REF="36" MS="y">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>So, here's another Thunderbolt: A Pox on my Lying tongue, it will be my ruine one time or other. <STAGE>A&s;ide.</STAGE></P>
<P>Why, faith <HI>Tom,</HI> to deal freely with thee, I confe&s;s I did tell her &s;ome &s;uch bu&s;i|ne&s;s.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Then, Sir, you are a Ra&s;eal, and follow me.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not a foot, by this light I will not fight with thee, <HI>Tom,</HI> before Supper: But to put an end to the bu&s;ine&s;s.</P>
<P>Madam, what I told you was a damn'd Lye, and there is no truth in me.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>That's not enough, Sir: did ever I &s;peak to thee of that Lady?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Townly.</SPEAKER>
<P>Never, never, the Devil take me if thou did&s;t.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Now, Madam, what &s;atisfaction mu&s;t I expect?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>A man of Honour will be contented with what's rea&s;onable: there's my hand.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>Heart and Lip too, or el&s;e the Article's not Seal'd.</P>
<STAGE>Ki&s;&s;es her.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Grat.</SPEAKER>
<P>Be&s;ides, if you love me, 'twill be the ea&s;ier to pardon.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Wild.</SPEAKER>
<P>I &s;wear I love thee; but this haughty humour, this Cloud that &s;hades the Sun of Perfection, does &s;omewhat cool my pa&s;&s;ion: for believe me, Madam, and let your Sex all heed this Ob&s;ervation.</P>
<LG>
<L>Fools may love Pride, and a coy face adore;</L>
<L>Ju&s;t Spaniel-like, though beaten, cringe the more.</L>
<L>To &s;uch be proud and vain, but &s;hun th' Offence,</L>
<L>If you wou'd e're attract a man of Sence.</L>
<L>Pride hinders there the Joys his Love wou'd bring,</L>
<L>As Storms and Fro&s;ts keep back the kindly Spring.</L>
</LG>
</SP>
</DIV3>
</DIV2>
<TRAILER>FINIS.</TRAILER>
</DIV1>
</BODY>
<BACK>
<DIV1 TYPE="epilogue">
<PB REF="36" MS="y">
<HEAD>EPILOGUE &s;poken by a New ACTRESS.</HEAD>
<SP>
<LG>
<L>SInce Wit and Merit ne're can have the Grace,</L>
<L>To make you Pleaders in the Poets Ca&s;e;</L>
<L>Nor this Collation gratefully to take,</L>
<L>Who knows but you may do it for my &s;ake:</L>
<L>For though in vain men for your favour &s;ue,</L>
<L>We Women often have a trick will do:</L>
<L>And therefore I am &s;ent here to engage</L>
<L>Friends to his &s;ide, and calm the Criticks rage.</L>
<L>If I &s;hould fail, he would be apt to &s;ay</L>
<L>That I was in the fault, I damn'd his Play.</L>
<L>I that till now ne're &s;o expos'd have bin;</L>
<L>Nay, and if hi&s;s'd, will never Act agen.</L>
<L>Then bla&s;t not, Sirs, the blo&s;&s;ome in its prime,</L>
<L>Pray let me not be damn'd before my time;</L>
<L>I never bubbled ye, ne're made a League,</L>
<L>And after Jilted ye with fal&s;e Intrigue;</L>
<L>Ne're balk'd your Pa&s;&s;ion with Sham<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="OXF" EXTENT="1 letter"> (female) Plots,</L>
<L>Your Pocket's pickt, or &s;tole your lac'd Crevats;</L>
<L>Be&s;ides, with your Opinion too I'me ble&s;s'd,</L>
<L>I'le take't on my Salvation I'me no Prie&s;t:</L>
<L>Nor did Religion e're my brains controul;</L>
<L>I am like you, of none, upon my Soul.</L>
<L>Great Intere&s;t to me the <HI>Golden Shore</HI> is,</L>
<L>Intere&s;t that makes you <HI>Fools,</HI> and <HI>Whiggs</HI> and <HI>Tories:</HI></L>
<L>'Tis that obliges me with kind behaviour,</L>
<L>For th' Poet humbly &s;ue to get your favour.</L>
<L>I could command, but that's not yet my due,</L>
<L>Nor will not be (perhaps) this year or two.</L>
<L>But if you fail, look you your ground maintain,</L>
<L>For there will come a time when I &s;hall raign.</L>
<L>A time will come, when <HI>Chloris</HI> &s;hall be haunted,</L>
<L>Then all your Joys and Raptures &s;hall be &s;canted,</L>
<L>And what you long wi&s;h for, &s;hall ne're be granted.</L>
</LG>
</SP>
<PB REF="37" MS="y">
<PB REF="37">
</DIV1>
</BACK>
</TEXT>
</EEBO>
</ETS>
