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<DATE>2014-03-12</DATE>
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<NAME>Alexis Jakobson</NAME>
<RESP>MURP</RESP>
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<TEXT LANG="eng">
<FRONT>
<DIV1 TYPE="title page">
<PB REF="1" MS="y">
<PB REF="1">
<P>CONCEITS, CLINCHES, FLASHES, AND WHIMZIES.</P>
<P>Newly &s;tudied, with &s;ome Collections but tho&s;e ne|ver publi&s;hed before in this kinde.</P>
<P><HI>LONDON.</HI></P>
<P>Printed by <HI>R. Hodgkin&s;onne</HI> for <HI>Daniel Frere</HI> and are to be &s;old at the &s;igne of the red <HI>Bull</HI> in <HI>little brittain</HI> 1639.</P>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="to the reader">
<PB REF="2" MS="y">
<PB REF="2" MS="y">
<HEAD>To the Reader.</HEAD>
<P>_GEntle Rea|der I here pre|&s;ent thee with he producements of <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter">ome vaporing houres <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter">urpo&s;ely intended to <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter">romote harmle&s;&s;e mirth I wi&s;h thee as merry in the reading as I and &s;ome other of
<PB REF="3"> my friends were in &s;peaking of them, do but laugh at them and I am &s;atisfied, for to that (and no other purpo&s;e) they were in|tended.</P>
<CLOSER><SALUTE>Farewell.</SALUTE></CLOSER>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="encomium">
<PB REF="3">
<HEAD>To the AUTHOR, on his <HI>Conceits.</HI></HEAD>
<LG>
<L>FRiend, thy conceits flown from the dow|ney ne&s;t,</L>
<L>Of thy rich fancy, lighted on my bre&s;t.</L>
<L>Where (let me tell thee true, for 'twere a &s;in</L>
<L>To flatter any, much more flatter him</L>
<PB REF="4">
<L>I hold my friend) I found &s;uch ample store,</L>
<L>In thy pure Mine of gold and &s;ilver ore</L>
<L>I became con&s;cious that I &s;ure was bound</L>
<L>Now to di&s;clo&s;e toth' world what I had found.</L>
<L>And render to the readers no clo&s;e end,</L>
<L>Could stop me from being theirs or thy true friend.</L>
</LG>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>T. Rawlins.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV1>
</FRONT>
<BODY>
<DIV1 TYPE="text">
<PB REF="4">
<P N="1">1 _AN idle ju&s;tice of Peace is like the picture of Saint <HI>George</HI> upon a &s;igne-po&s;t with his &s;word drawne to no pur|po&s;e.</P>
<P N="2">2 Hee that &s;peakes great gun|powder words may be compa|red to a deepe mouth'd Dogge,
<PB REF="5"> or bee &s;ayd to have a tympany in his tongue.</P>
<P N="3">3 A Souldier &s;aid hee had been in &s;o many battels and had been &s;o battered with bullets that hee &s;wore hee thought hee had a mine of lead in his belly.</P>
<P N="4">4 Lovers oathes are like marry|ners prayers, when once the heate is over, they are not the &s;ame men.</P>
<P N="5">5 Women are like dead bodies for &s;urgeons to worke upon,
<PB REF="5"> becau&s;e they tell a man his im|perfections.</P>
<P N="6">6 Mu&s;itians may be compared unto Camelions, becau&s;e they live by ayre.</P>
<P N="7">7 One &s;aid it was a difficult thing to per&s;wade a multitude (e&s;pecially in a City where they are for the mo&s;t part &s;tronghea|ded) to any rea&s;on.</P>
<P N="8">8 One was called foole for a&s;king what Country man a ploughman was becau&s;e it is
<PB REF="6"> knowne &s;aid one they were all borne in <HI>Hungarie.</HI></P>
<P N="9">9 One a&s;ked a man whether he had &s;wallowed a Doctor of Phi|&s;ickes bill, becau&s;e hee &s;poke &s;uch hard words.</P>
<P N="10">10 The Philo&s;ophers &s;tone had need turne all mettals to gold, becau&s;e the &s;tudy of it turnes all a mans gold to other mettall.</P>
<P N="11">11 One a&s;ked a poet where his wits were, hee an&s;wered a wool|gathering, the other replyed
<PB REF="6"> there was no people had more need of it.</P>
<P N="12">12 One a&s;ked whence choller was di&s;cended, one an&s;wered that &s;hee was the daughter of a great mans porter begot of a kitchin wench in the time of a fea&s;t.</P>
<P N="13">13 One a&s;ked another why hee loved woodcoke &s;o extreamly, the other an&s;wered why not I as well as you, for I am &s;ure you never go abroad but you carry one under your cloake.</P>
<P N="14"><PB REF="7">14 One a&s;ked why a Knight tooke place of a Gentleman, it was an&s;wered becau&s;e they were Knights now a days before they were Gentlemen.</P>
<P N="15">15 One &s;aid the midwives trade of all trades was mo&s;t commen|dable, becau&s;e they lived not by the hurts of other men, as Sur|geons do; nor by the falling out of friends as Lawyers do: but by the agreement betwixt party and party.</P>
<P N="16"><PB REF="7">16 One &s;aid a good Client was like a &s;tudy gown, that &s;its in the cold him&s;elfe to keepe his Lawyer warme.</P>
<P N="17">17 One &s;aid the fees of a pander and a punie clarke are much a|like, for the pander had but two pence next morning for making the bed and that was a penny a &s;heet.</P>
<P N="18">18 A woman was commending a boyes face, pi&s;h quoth an|other give me a mans face, a
<PB REF="8"> boyes face is not worth a haire.</P>
<P N="19">19 One compar'd a dominering fellow to a walking Spurre, that keeps a great jingling noi&s;e but never pricks.</P>
<P N="20">20 One &s;aid it was unfit a gla&s;i|er &s;hould be a Con&s;table be|cau&s;e he was a common quar|reller.</P>
<P N="21">21 One &s;aid he had received a &s;hee-letter, becau&s;e &s;aith he it hath a young one in the belly of it.</P>
<P N="22"><PB REF="8">22 One a&s;ked the rea&s;on why Lawyers Clearks writ &s;uch wide lines, another an&s;wered it was done to keepe the peace, for if the Plantiffe &s;hould be in one line and the Defendant in the next line, the lines being too neare together they might per|haps fall together by the eares.</P>
<P N="23">23 One &s;ayd hee was &s;o tender hearted that he could not find in his heart to kill a lou&s;e, ano|ther an&s;wered that it proceeded only from faintheartedne&s;&s;e be|cau&s;e hee had not the heart to &s;ee his own blood.</P>
<P N="24"><PB REF="9">24 One &s;aid a rich widdow was like the rubbi&s;h of the world that helps only to &s;top the brea|ches of decayed hou&s;es.</P>
<P N="25">25 A ma&s;ter &s;poke in a &s;traine his &s;ervant under&s;tood not, whereupon the &s;ervant de&s;ired his Ma&s;ter rather to give him blowes then &s;uch hard words.</P>
<P N="26">26 Tho&s;e that &s;ay gallants put all upon their backs abu&s;e them, for they &s;pend a great deale more upon their bellies.</P>
<P N="27"><PB REF="9">27 One &s;aid it was a &s;trange fa&s;hi|on that we had in England to receive money with wives and give money for wenches, It was an&s;wered that in ancient time women were good and then men gave money for their wives, but now like light gold they would not pa&s;&s;e without allowance.</P>
<P N="28">28 One per&s;waded another to marry a whore becau&s;e &s;hee was rich, telling him that perhaps &s;he might turne, turne &s;aid the o|ther &s;he hath been &s;o much worne that &s;he is pa&s;t turning.</P>
<P N="29"><PB REF="10">29 One put a je&s;t upon his frend O &s;aid his friend that I could <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="2 letters">t &s;ee your braines I would e|<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="2 letters">n hug them for this je&s;t.</P>
<P N="30">30 One a&s;ked why Sextons did u&s;e to weare black, it was an|&s;wered that in regard of their office they were to meddle with grave matters and did therfore weare black.</P>
<P N="31">31 One &s;eeing another weare a thred-bare cloake a&s;ked him whether his cloak was not &s;lee|py
<PB REF="10"> or no, why do you a&s;ke &s;aid the other, becau&s;e &s;aid hee I thinke it hath not had a nap this &s;even yeeres.</P>
<P N="32">32 One a&s;ked what was the u&s;u|all food of citizens wives, it was an&s;wered, though they loved fle&s;h beter then fi&s;h yet for tem|perance &s;ake they would &s;o dy|et them&s;elves that at noon they fed only upon carp, at night on cods-head, and when they went abroad a little place would content them better then any other thing.</P>
<P N="33">33 One wondred much what
<PB REF="11"> great Scholler this &s;ame <HI>Finis</HI> was, becau&s;e his name was al|mo&s;t to every booke.</P>
<P N="34">34 One a&s;ked what he was that had a fine wit in je&s;t, it was an|&s;wered a foole in earne&s;t.</P>
<P N="35">35 One hearing a U&s;urer &s;ay he had been on the pike of <HI>Teneriff</HI> (which is &s;uppo&s;ed to be one of the highe&s;t hils in the world) a&s;ked him why he had not &s;tayd there for he was per&s;waded hee would never come &s;o neere hea|ven againe.</P>
<P N="36">36 A Citizen begins a health to all the Cuckolds in the world,
<PB REF="11"> the Gentleman to whom the health was pre&s;ented &s;eeing him with his cap in his hand, &s;aid, what doe you mean Sir pray ye remember your &s;elfe.</P>
<P N="37">37 One a&s;ked a foot-boy why he was &s;o affected with linnen &s;tockings, he an&s;wered becau&s;e he was troubled with running legges.</P>
<P N="38">38 One &s;ayd to another that his face was like a popi&s;h almanack all holydayes becau&s;e it was full of pimples.</P>
<P N="39">39 One &s;ayd it was a good fa&s;hion that was worn now a dayes, be|cau&s;e
<PB REF="12"> the Taylers had &s;o contri|ved it that there was little or no wa&s;te in a whole &s;uit.</P>
<P N="40">40 One &s;aid a jellous wife was like an iri&s;h trouze alwayes clo&s;e to a mans tayle.</P>
<P N="41">41 One &s;aid an Apothecaryes hou&s;e mu&s;t needs be healthfull, becau&s;e the windowes, benches boxes, and almo&s;t all the things in the hou&s;e tooke phy&s;ick.</P>
<P N="42">42 One &s;aid a Phy&s;itian was na|turall brother to the wormes,
<PB REF="12"> becau&s;e he was ingendered out of mans corruption.</P>
<P N="43">43 One gave a fellow a box on the eare, the fellow gave him another, what doe you meane (&s;ayd he that gave the fir&s;t box) I did not lend you a box, I free|ly gave it you, the other an&s;we|r<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="2 letters"> he was a gam&s;ter and had been alwayes u&s;'d to pay the box.</P>
<P N="44">44 A Gentleman that bore a &s;pleene to another meets him <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter">n the &s;treet gives him a box on <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter">he eare, the other not willing <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter">o &s;tricke againe puts it off with
<PB REF="13"> a je&s;t a&s;king him whether it was in je&s;t or in earne&s;t, the other an&s;wers it was in earne&s;t, I am glad of that &s;aid he for if it had been in je&s;t I &s;hould have been very angry, for I do not like &s;uch je&s;ting, and &s;o pa&s;t away from him.</P>
<P N="45">45 One that was ju&s;tly jealous of his wife &s;aid prethee leave the&s;e cour&s;es, for if thou do&s;t not they will ere it be long make me horne mad.</P>
<P N="46">46 One &s;ayd to a gentleman that was too full of complement pray you Sir do not &s;pend &s;o
<PB REF="13"> much wit, if you be &s;o prodigall of it you will ere it be long have none left for your &s;elfe.</P>
<P N="47">47 There is nothing &s;ayes one more revengfull then hemp, for if a man once beat it, e&s;pecially in Bridewell, 'tis a hundred to one but it will be the death of him &s;hortly after.</P>
<P N="48">48 Hee that &s;weares when he lo|&s;eth his mony at gaming, may challeng hel by way of purcha&s;e.</P>
<P N="49">49 One a&s;ked which were &s;up|po&s;ed
<PB REF="14"> to be the two fruitfulle&s;<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter"> acres of ground in the whole Kingdome? it was an&s;wered We&s;tmin&s;ter-Hall and the old Exchange.</P>
<P N="50">50 It was a&s;ked why fat men did love their ea&s;e &s;o much, becau&s;e &s;ayd one the &s;oule in a fat body lyes &s;oft and is therefore loath to ri&s;e.</P>
<P N="51">51 One a&s;ked why yong Barri|&s;ters u&s;ed to &s;tick their chamber windowes with letters, becau&s;e &s;aid another it was the fir&s;t thing that gave the world no|tice of their wor&s;hips.</P>
<P N="52"><PB REF="14">52 One having dranke a cup of <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter">ead beere, &s;wore that the beer <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter">as more then fox'd, another <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter">emanding his rea&s;on quoth he <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter">ecau&s;e it is dead drunke.</P>
<P N="53">53 U&s;urers live &s;ayes one, by <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter">he fall of heires, like &s;wine by <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter">he dropping of acorns.</P>
<P N="54">54 One &s;ayd a prodigall was like <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter"> bru&s;h that &s;pent it &s;elf to make others goe hand&s;ome in their cloathes.</P>
<P N="55"><PB REF="15">55 One wondred what plea&s;an<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter"> kind of oratory the Pillory had in him, that men lov'd to hav<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter"> their eares nail'd to it.</P>
<P N="56">56 One &s;aid &s;uppo&s;e all the wo|men in the world were like pa|tient <HI>Grizell,</HI> then &s;ayd another we might make Chri&s;tmasbloks of the cucking-&s;tooles.</P>
<P N="57">57 An Antiquary &s;ays one loves every thing: (as Dutch-men doe chee&s;e) for being mouldy and wormeaten.</P>
<P N="58"><PB REF="15">58 One &s;aid a Player had an idle <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter">mployment of it, O you are mi&s;taken &s;ayd another for his whole life is nothing el&s;e but action.</P>
<P N="59">59 One a&s;ked his friend how he &s;hould u&s;e tobacco &s;o that it might do him good, he an&s;we|red you mu&s;t keepe a tobacco &s;hop and &s;ell it, for certainly there is none el&s;e find good in it.</P>
<P N="60">60 A &s;imple fellow in gay cloths &s;ayes one, is like a Cinnamom|tree
<PB REF="16"> the barke is of more worth then the body.</P>
<P N="61">61 If a man be <HI>Cornelius</HI> &s;Ayes one he mu&s;t be <HI>Tacitus</HI> too o|therwi&s;e he &s;hall never live quietly.</P>
<P N="62">62 One entreated a pri&s;oner to do him a curte&s;ie, telling him that hitherto he had found him a fa&s;t friend and he hoped hee &s;hould find him &s;o &s;till.</P>
<P N="63">63 A Gentleman riding on the way would needs turne back to
<PB REF="16"> ki&s;&s;e his wife that was behinde him, he was therefore com|mended for a kind hu&s;band in regard he was before to ki&s;&s;e his wife behinde.</P>
<P N="63">63 One a&s;ked whether &s;uch a man were wi&s;e or no, it was an|&s;wered that he was otherwi&s;e.</P>
<P N="64">64 One per&s;waded a Scholer that was much given to going abroad that he would put away his cu|&s;hion and it would be a meanes to make him &s;it harder to his &s;tudy.</P>
<P N="66"><PB REF="17" MS="y">66 One &s;aid poetry &amp; plain dea|ling were a couple of han&s;om wenches, another an&s;wered yes but he that weds him&s;elfe to ei|ther of them &s;hall dye a begger.</P>
<P N="67">67 One &s;ayd he had heard the &s;tory of St. <HI>George</HI> how he kild the Draggon that would el&s;e have devoured the maide &amp; did wonder that men would devi&s;e &s;uch lies, for &s;aith he it is held by mo&s;t men that there was never &s;uch a man as St. <HI>George,</HI> nor e|ver &s;uch a creature as a Dragon
<PB REF="17"> another an&s;wers for St. <HI>George,</HI> tis no great matter neither for the Draggon whether there were &s;uch or no, pray heaven there be a maide and then it is no matter.</P>
<P N="68">68 A Scholar and a Courtier meeting in the &s;treet &s;eemd to conte&s;t for the wall, &s;ayes the Courtier I do not u&s;e to give e|very coxcombe the wall, the Schollar an&s;wered but I do &s;ir, and &s;o pa&s;&s;ed by him.</P>
<P N="69">69 One a&s;ked the rea&s;on why women were &s;o crooked and
<PB REF="18"> perver&s;e in their conditions, an|other an&s;wered becau&s;e the fir&s;t woman was made of a crooked thing.</P>
<P N="70">70 A rich Lawyer that had got a great e&s;tate by the Law upon his death bed was de&s;irous to give twenty pound <HI>per annum,</HI> to the hou&s;e of <HI>Bedlam,</HI> being demanded why he would give it to that hou&s;e rather then an|other, he an&s;wered that he had got it of mad men and to them he would give it againe.</P>
<P N="71">71 One &s;aid women were like quick &s;ands, &s;eemed firme, but
<PB REF="18"> if a man came upon them he fell in overhead and &s;houlders.</P>
<P N="72">72 Another &s;aid a woman was like a peece of old Grogram al|wayes fretting.</P>
<P N="73">73 One a&s;ked why men &s;hould thinke there was a world in the Moone. It was an&s;wered be|cau&s;e they were lunatique.</P>
<P N="74">74 One a&s;ked why Ladyes cal|led their hu&s;bands Ma&s;ter &s;uch a one, and ma&s;ter &s;uch a one, and not by their titles of knight|hood,
<PB REF="19"> as Sir <HI>Thomas,</HI> Sir <HI>Richard</HI> Sir <HI>William,</HI> &amp;c. it was an&s;we|red that though others called them by their right titles as Sir <HI>William,</HI> Sir <HI>Thomas,</HI> &amp;c. yet it was fit their wives &s;hould ma&s;ter them.</P>
<P N="75">75 One a&s;ked what was the fir&s;t commodity a yong &s;hopkeeper put off; it was an&s;wered his ho|ne&s;tie.</P>
<P N="76">76 One a&s;ked why <HI>Icarus</HI> would undertake to flye in the ayre? it was an&s;wered becau&s;e he was a Buzzard.</P>
<P N="77"><PB REF="19">77 Two Gentlemen talking in latin in the pre&s;ence of a wo|man &s;he grew jealous that they &s;pake of her and de&s;ired them to &s;peake engli&s;h that &s;he might an&s;wer them, for &s;he &s;aid &s;he was per&s;waded when men &s;pake latin although they &s;pake but two words that &s;till one of them was nought: whereupon one of the Gentlemen &s;ayd pre|&s;ently <HI>Bona mulier,</HI> &s;he replyed I know <HI>bona</HI> is good, but I'le war|rant ye the other word meanes &s;omething that's nought.</P>
<P N="87">87 A &s;imple fellow being too
<PB REF="20"> bold with one that was his &s;u|perior, was told he might &s;ay what he would for that day be|cau&s;e it was Innocents day, it being &s;o indeed.</P>
<P N="81">81 One &s;aid a barber had need be hone&s;t and tru&s;ty becau&s;e who&s;oever employed him, though it was but for a haire matter put his life into his hands.</P>
<P N="82">82 A &s;uit in Law being referd to a Gentleman the plantiffe who had the equity of the cau&s;e on his &s;ide pre&s;ented him with a new coach, the Defendant with a couple of hor&s;es, he li|king
<PB REF="20"> the hor&s;es better then the coach gave &s;entence on the De|fendants &s;ide, the Plaintiffe calls to him and a&s;keth him how it came to pa&s;&s;e the coach went out of the right way, he an&s;wers that he could not help it for the hor&s;es had drawne it &s;o.</P>
<P N="83">83 One per&s;waded his friend to marry a little woman becau&s;e of evils, the lea&s;t was to be cho&s;en.</P>
<P N="84">84 One a&s;ked how it came to pa&s;&s;e that ho&s;ts had u&s;ually red no&s;es, it was an&s;wered that it was given to them by nature to &s;how to the world an experi|ment
<PB REF="21"> of the vertue of what he &s;old.</P>
<P N="83">83 A vaine glorious man was bragging that his Father &amp; his Uncle had founded &s;uch a Ho|&s;pitall, one an&s;wered&punc; 'tis true but yet know that your Father and your Uncle were the meere confounders of that Ho&s;pitall you &s;peake of.</P>
<P N="84">84 One &s;aid a tooth drawer was a kind of an uncon&s;cionable trade becau&s;e his trade was nothing el&s;e but to take away tho&s;e things whereby every man gets his living.</P>
<P N="85"><PB REF="21">85 One a&s;ked why he that drew beere was not called a drawer a&s;well as he that drew wine, it was an&s;wered that beere made a man to pi&s;&s;e but it was wine made him draw.</P>
<P N="86">86 One &s;aid he wondred that lether was not dearer then any other thing, being demanded a rea&s;on: becau&s;e &s;aith he, it is more &s;tood upon then any o|ther thing in the world.</P>
<P N="87">87 One &s;aid a hangman had a
<PB REF="22"> contemplative profe&s;&s;ion be+cau&s;e he never was at work bu<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter"> he was put in mind of his owne end.</P>
<P N="91">91 One called another rogue he an&s;wered dur&s;t I tru&s;t thee with a looking gla&s;&s;e you would quit me and condemne your &s;elfe.</P>
<P N="92">92 A fellow that had no money in his pocket was in a great rage with another who told him, pray Sir do not put your &s;elf into too much heat unle&s;&s;e you had more money in your pocket whereby to quench it.</P>
<P N="93"><PB REF="22">93 One being a&s;ked what coun|tryman he was, he an&s;wered a <HI>Middle&s;ex</HI> man, the other told him being he was neither of the male &s;ex nor of the female &s;ex, but of a <HI>middle&s;ex,</HI> he mu&s;t then bee a <HI>Hermaphrodit.</HI></P>
<P N="94">94 One &s;ayd corne was a quar|rel&s;ome creature becau&s;e it ro&s;e by the blade and fel by the eares with tho&s;e that cut it.</P>
<P N="95">95 Why do Ladies &s;o affect &s;len|der wa&s;tes (&s;aid one) 'tis (repli|ed
<PB REF="23"> another) becau&s;e their ex|pences may not bee too great.</P>
<P N="93">93 One commending a Tayler for his dexteritie in his profe&s;|&s;ion; another &s;tanding by ra|tified his opinion &s;aying tailors had their bu&s;ine&s;&s;e at their fin|gers ends.</P>
<P N="94">94 One being demanded the rea|&s;on why he thought the grea|te&s;t drinkers quicke&s;t of appre|hen&s;ion, made this an&s;wer: <HI>Qui &s;uper naculum bibit ad unguem &s;apit.</HI></P>
<P N="95"><PB REF="23">95 A Poet &s;ayes one is a man of great priviledge, becau&s;e if he tran&s;gre&s;&s;e it is by a rule; viz. <HI>Li|centia poetica.</HI></P>
<P N="96">96 The &s;evere&s;t &s;toicks (&s;aid one) are the greate&s;t Students, be|cau&s;e their contracted browes are alwayes bent to &s;tudy.</P>
<P N="97">97 Colliers and mine-workers &s;hould be well acquainted with all the philo&s;ophicall &s;ecrets of the Earth becau&s;e they have deeper knowledge in it then any others.</P>
<P N="104"><PB REF="24">104 Tap&s;ters &s;aid one &s;hould bee men of e&s;teem becau&s;e they are men not only of a high calling, but al&s;o of great reckoning.</P>
<P N="105">105 'Tis impo&s;&s;ible that Saylers &s;hould be rich men, becau&s;e they are never &s;o well plea&s;ed as when they go downe the wind fa&s;te&s;t.</P>
<P N="106">106 A woman &s;aid of all men &s;he had a de&s;ire to marry a Hunts|man becau&s;e he would not di&s;|daine to weare the home.</P>
<P N="107"><PB REF="24">107 Of all knaves there's the greate&s;t hope of a Cobler, for though he be never &s;o idle a fellow yet he is &s;till mending.</P>
<P N="108">108 A Smith &s;aid one is the mo&s;t pragmaticall fellow under the Sun for he hath alwayes many irons in the fire.</P>
<P N="109">109 The neate&s;t man in a King|dome (&s;ayd one) is a Barber for he cannot endure to have a hair ami&s;&s;e.</P>
<P N="104"><PB REF="25">
<GAP DESC="duplicate" EXTENT="1 page">
<PB REF="25">
<GAP DESC="duplicate" EXTENT="1 page">
<PB REF="26"> 104 Wit bought is better then wit taught, becau&s;e he that never bought any is but a natu|rall wit.</P>
<P N="105">105 'Tis probable that tho&s;e wo|men that paint mo&s;t &s;hall live longe&s;t, for where the hou&s;e is kept in repaire there is no feare but it will be inhabited.</P>
<P N="106">106 One &s;aid that tall men of all others were mo&s;t happy be|cau&s;e they were neerer heaven then all other men.</P>
<P N="108"><PB REF="26">108 A &s;quint-ey'd man (&s;ayes one) is the mo&s;t circum&s;pect of all men becau&s;e he can looke nine wayes at once.</P>
<P N="109">109 One &s;aid that tal men &s;hould be great polititians, becau&s;e they have an extraordinary reach.</P>
<P N="110">110 One &s;ayd hang-men were very happy becau&s;e tho&s;e men they do mo&s;t hurt will never be able to render them <HI>quid pro quo</HI></P>
<P N="116"><PB REF="27">116 It is in &s;ome &s;ort nece&s;&s;ary that &s;ome rich men &s;hould be Dunces, becau&s;e the preten|ders to learning may get prefer|ment, for the good wits will be able to helpe them&s;elves.</P>
<P N="117">117 One was &s;aying it was a fine quality to be able to &s;peake wel <HI>ex tempore,</HI> why then &s;aid an|other we may commend every woman for they have the mo&s;t nimble fluent tongues and that without &s;tudy or con&s;iderati|on.</P>
<P N="118"><PB REF="27">118 Hang-men practice their cunning for the mo&s;t part on good natur'd men, becau&s;e they are ready to forgive before the hurt be attempted.</P>
<P N="119">119 Hee that hath but one eye is more like to hit the marke he aymes at then another, becau&s;e he hath a mon&s;trous &s;ight.</P>
<P N="120">120 Gla&s;iers &s;aid one mu&s;t needes be good arbitrators for they &s;pend their whole time in no|thing but compo&s;ing of quarels.</P>
<P N="117"><PB REF="28">117 Carpenters &s;aid one are the civele&s;t men in a Common|wealth for they never do their bui&s;ine&s;&s;e without a Rule.</P>
<P N="118">118 Of all wofull friends a hang|man is the mo&s;t tru&s;ty, for if he once have to do with a man he will &s;ee him hang'd before hee &s;hall want mony or any thing el&s;e.</P>
<P N="119">119 Bricklayers are noteable wan|ton fellowes for they have al|wayes to do with one trull or other.</P>
<P N="120"><PB REF="28">120 Stationers could not live if men did not beleeve the old &s;aying, that <HI>Wit bought</HI> is bet|ter then <HI>Wit taugbt.</HI></P>
<P N="121">121 Tho&s;e that carry about with them counterfeit coyne are more nice and curious of it, then of good Gold and Silver, for they cannot endure to have that toucht of all the re&s;t.</P>
<P N="122">122 Gunners are more &s;erious in what they doe, then other men for what they doe they doe with a powder.</P>
<P N="127"><PB REF="29">127 <HI>Mu&s;cattiers</HI> of all other Soul|diers, are the mo&s;t lazie for they are alwayes at their re&s;t.</P>
<P N="128">128 One among a company of his companions who had beene drinking very much, by chance let a fart, who for conceit &s;ake &s;aid to one of his companions with whom he might make bold, pree-thee pledge me, he an&s;wered I cannot; he then reply'd I pray do but ki&s;&s;e the cup.</P>
<P N="129">129 One pa&s;&s;ing through Cheap
<PB REF="29"> &s;ide, a poore Woman de&s;ired his charity, he di&s;regarding the woman kept on walking, and by and by let a fart: the woman hearing it &s;aid much good may it do your wor&s;hip, he hearing her &s;ay &s;o, turnes backe and gives her a te&s;ter; &s;he thank't him and told his wor|&s;hip it was a bad wind that did blow nobody good.</P>
<P N="126">126 A man walking the &s;treet let a great&mdash;upon which he je|&s;tingly &s;aid cracke me that nut, it being heard of a waggi&s;h wench that was in a chamber o|ver his head, who being well provided at that time with a perfu'md chamber-pot, throws
<PB REF="30"> it out of the window upon his head &s;aying there's the kernill of your nut Sir.</P>
<P N="127">127 One &s;aid a Miller was the fit|te&s;t hu&s;band for a Scold, becau&s;e when the mil goes if her tongue goes ne're &s;o fa&s;t it cannot be heard.</P>
<P N="128">128 One &s;aid that Duke <HI>Hum|frey's</HI> gue&s;ts were the mo&s;t tem|perate men in the world, it be|ing known that at his Table there was never any made drunke, nor with his dyet dyed of a &s;urfet.</P>
<P N="129"><PB REF="30">129 One &s;aid Phy&s;itians had the be&s;t of it, for if they did well the world did proclaime it, if ill the earth did cover it.</P>
<P N="130">130 It is a nece&s;&s;ary and fit thing that women learn Roman-hand becau&s;e (&s;aith one) they were never good Secretaries nor e|ver will be.</P>
<P N="131">131 One &s;aw a man and his wife fighting, the people a&s;ked him why he did not part them, he an&s;wered that he had been bet|ter
<PB REF="31"> bred then to part man and wife.</P>
<P N="132">132 One &s;aid that <HI>Tobacconi&s;ts</HI> would endure the wars well, for they would never be &s;tifled with fire and &s;moake.</P>
<P N="133">133 A drawer for one thing or other is alwayes appearing at the barre but is not puni&s;ht, yet notwith&s;tanding 'tis all &s;cor'd up.</P>
<P N="134">134 Scriveners are mo&s;t hard|harted fellowes for they never rejoyce more then when they
<PB REF="31" MS="y"> put other men in bonds.</P>
<P N="135">135 Smiths of all handy-crafts men are the mo&s;t irregular, for they never thinke them&s;elves better employed, then when they are addicted to their vices.</P>
<P N="136">136 Tho&s;e which weare long haire are in the readye&s;t way to make good Fryars, for they may promi&s;e to them&s;elves the happine&s;&s;e to enjoy bald crownes without the help of a Barber.</P>
<P N="137">137 Tap&s;ters are not only very
<PB REF="32"> ra&s;h but very expert, for they are apt to draw upon all occa&s;i|ons, and yet &s;uffer very few to go away &s;cot-free.</P>
<P N="138">138 Of al di&s;ea&s;es the three-quar|ters harme is mo&s;t dangerous and mo&s;t de&s;ired: for all wo|men de&s;ire to multiply though they labor ne're &s;o hard for't.</P>
<P N="139">139 Fidlers are very unfortunate in their calling for they never do any thing but it is again&s;t the haire.</P>
<P N="140">140 Trumpeters are much &s;ubject
<PB REF="32"> to &s;ickly di&s;tempers, for com|monly when they are mo&s;t in health they will fall a &s;ounding.</P>
<P N="141">141 One being a&s;ked where he thought al woodcocks remaind in the Summer-time when they are not &s;eene with us, it was an&s;wered in <HI>new England.</HI></P>
<P N="142">142 Hor&s;e-keepers and O&s;tlers (let the world go which way it will though there be never &s;o much alteration in times and per&s;ons) are &s;till &s;table men.</P>
<P N="143"><PB REF="33">143 One &s;aid it was no great mat|ter what a drunkard &s;aid in his drinke, for he &s;eldome &s;pake any thing that he could &s;tand to.</P>
<P N="144">144 A <HI>Hypocrite</HI> is odious (&s;aies one) to <HI>God,</HI> to <HI>Man,</HI> and to the <HI>Devill:</HI> God hates him becau&s;e he is not what he &s;eemes, Man hates him becau&s;e he &s;eemes what he is not, and the Devill hates him becau&s;e he &s;eems not what he is truly and indeed.</P>
<P N="145">145 One &s;aid of all profe&s;&s;ions,
<PB REF="33"> that Stage-players were the mo&s;t philo&s;ophicall men that were, becau&s;e they were as mer|ry and as well contented when they were in rags as when they were in robes.</P>
<P N="146">146 Great Eaters are the mo&s;t valiant men, for they never fight but with a good &s;tomacke.</P>
<P N="147">147 One a&s;ked what the rea&s;on was that few women lov'd to eat egges? it was an&s;wered be|cau&s;e they cannot endure to beare the yoke.</P>
<P N="148"><PB REF="34">148 One drinking of a cup of burnt clarret, &s;aid he was not a|ble to let it down, another de|manded why? he an&s;wered be|cau&s;e it was red hot.</P>
<P N="149">149 A poor man that lived in the Suburbs of <HI>London</HI> being owner of a little field had got together &s;o much mony to buy two little fields more of an acre of ground apeece, yet he was &s;aid to be rich becau&s;e he had purcha&s;ed <HI>More fields.</HI></P>
<P N="150">150 One &s;aid roaring Gallants
<PB REF="34"> were like Pedlers, becau&s;e &s;ome of them did carry their whole e&s;tates upon their backs.</P>
<P N="151">151 One &s;aid that &s;ome Taylors were like Woodcocks, becau&s;e they lived by their long bils.</P>
<P N="152">152 An Oculi&s;t is excellent at &s;leight of hand, for if he under|take to cure a blind man he will &s;o do it that the patient &s;hall &s;ee he does it.</P>
<P N="153">153 One &s;aid it was dangerous to wrong a Phi&s;itian, becau&s;e if
<PB REF="35"> he once have to do with a man he will be &s;ure to make him thinke.</P>
<P N="154">154 An Inkeeper brag'd he had a bed &s;o large that two hundred Con&s;tables had lyen in it at one time, meaning two Con&s;tables of hundreds.</P>
<P N="155">155 He that byes a hor&s;e in Smith field and does not looke upon him before he buye him with a paire of &s;pectacles, makes his hor&s;e and him&s;elf a paire of &s;or|rofull &s;pectacles for others to looke on.</P>
<P N="156"><PB REF="35">156 A pri&s;on is a good in&s;tru|ment of reformation, for it makes many rogues and lewd fellowes &s;taid men.</P>
<P N="157">157 One complaining that his Sonne was a very prodigall, and that he would give an hundred pounds to have him reclaimed: his neighbor that heard him complaine, an&s;wer'd let him be a <HI>French-Tayler</HI> for they make no wa&s;te.</P>
<P N="158">158 A wax-chandlers &s;hop being rob'd one of his friends came to
<PB REF="36"> comfort him, and told him he &s;hould not be troubled at it, for he dur&s;t undertake his goods would come to light.</P>
<P N="159">159 One demanded of a wild yong Gentleman the rea&s;on why he would &s;el his land? who an&s;wered becau&s;e he hoped to go to heven, which he could not po&s;&s;ibly do til he for&s;ook earth.</P>
<P N="160">160 In the Common-wealth of Fi&s;hes are many officers: <HI>Her|ring</HI> the King, <HI>Sword-Fi&s;h</HI> his guard, <HI>Lob&s;ters</HI> are Aldermen, <HI>Brabs</HI> are Con&s;tables, and poor <HI>Johns</HI> the common &s;ort of people.</P>
<P N="161"><PB REF="36">161 An idle unthrift having no|thing left to maintaine his hu|mor of good fellow&s;hip but his bed, &s;old it; for which being reproved by &s;ome friends, he an&s;wered that he could never be well &s;o long as he kept his bed.</P>
<P N="162">162 Coblers may be &s;aid to be good men becau&s;e they &s;et men upright and are ever imployed in mending of &s;oles.</P>
<P N="163">163 Two men &s;eeing a hand&s;ome
<PB REF="37"> <HI>Wench</HI> but thought to be light, pa&s;s by in a very poore habit; the one &s;aid it was a wonder to &s;ee &s;uch a wench &s;o bare, the other replied it was no wonder for &s;he was common.</P>
<P N="164">164 A drunken fellow returning home towards evening, found his wife hard at her &s;pinning, &s;he reprooving him for his ill hu&s;bandry, and commending her &s;elf for her good hu&s;wifery, he told her that &s;he had no great cau&s;e to chide, for as &s;he had been &s;pinning he came home all the way reeling.</P>
<P N="165">165 An ignorant drunken Surege|on&punc;
<PB REF="37"> that kil'd all men that came under his hands, boa&s;ted him|&s;elfe a better man then the <HI>Par|&s;on;</HI> for &s;aid he your <HI>Cure</HI> main|tains but your&s;elfe but my <HI>Cures</HI> maintaine all the <HI>Sextons</HI> in the Towne.</P>
<P N="166">166 A merry fellow &s;aid the Ale|hou&s;e was the only place to thrive in, for he had knowne many a <HI>&s;core</HI> made there.</P>
<P N="167">167 Mu&s;itians may be &s;aid to be the be&s;t Philo&s;ophers, for they will be &s;ure to keepe time.</P>
<P N="168">168 A woman that was very im|perious
<PB REF="38"> over her hu&s;band, was nick-nam'd by a neighbor and cal'd Mi&s;tres <HI>Cap,</HI> for which &s;he angerlie demanded his rea|&s;on, and was an&s;wered becau&s;e &s;he was alwayes above her head.</P>
<P N="169">169 The &s;ame woman with her riotous humors having undone her hu&s;band and he being bro|ken and fled, the &s;ame neighbor reproving her, &s;he bade him not medle with what did no way belong to him, for &s;he had only broken her owne head.</P>
<P N="170">170 A Lady that was painted, tould a Gentleman &s;he de&s;ired much
<PB REF="38"> to have her picture done to the life, to which he an&s;wered you need not that Madam, for you are a picture to the life already.</P>
<P N="171">171 A Gentleman who&s;e name was <HI>Stone,</HI> falling off his hor&s;e into a deep water out of which he got not without &s;ome dan|ger: his companion laugh'd at the mi&s;chance and being repro|ved, an&s;wered that no man but would laugh to &s;ee a &s;tone &s;wim.</P>
<P N="172">172 A fooli&s;h Gentleman defor|med likewi&s;e in his per&s;on, was called by one a mon&s;ter, nay
<PB REF="39"> &s;urely &s;aid another the Gentle|man is meerly naturall.</P>
<P N="173">173 A country fellow a&s;king which way he might go to <HI>Bed|lam,</HI> a Citizen tould him the neare&s;t way was to be mad, then, &s;aid the Country fellow you horn-mad Citizens may the better direct us that are Country-men.</P>
<P N="174">174 A common wench &s;tepping into a boate fell into the water, and reaching her hand to be helped out, one refus'd it &s;ay|ing &s;he need not fear drowning
<PB REF="39"> for &s;he was &s;o light &s;he could never &s;inke.</P>
<P N="175">175 One threatned a fellow to breake his head with a &s;tone, I'le a&s;&s;ure you (quoth he) it is a hard matter to breake my head with a &s;tone.</P>
<P N="176">176 A boy &s;eemed much delight|ed with a Coblers worke com|mending and admiring his workman&s;hip, the Cobler plea|&s;ed with the boyes admiration a&s;ked him if he would be of his trade, to which he an&s;wered no; for though he loved work|man&s;hip he could not endure cobling.</P>
<P N="177"><PB REF="40">177 One hearing a rich Gentle|man (but ignorant enough) di&s;cour&s;e &s;omewhat weakly, how much land there was hol|den <HI>in capite,</HI> a&s;ked him if his wit was held <HI>in capite?</HI> to which he an&s;wered no; the other a&s;ked him againe if he had not &s;ome <HI>fe-&s;imple</HI> held <HI>in capite?</HI> to which he an&s;wered yes; and that it did de&s;cend to him and his heires forever.</P>
<P N="178">178 A Phy&s;itian demanded mo|ney of another for one of his patients that was dead long be|fore, he was an&s;wered that it
<PB REF="40"> was a worke of charity to vi&s;it the &s;ick; but if he was &s;o ear|ne&s;t for mony the only way was for him to vi&s;it the dead, and then he would never want mo|ney more.</P>
<P N="179">179 A rich Stationer wi&s;h't him|&s;elfe a Scholler, to whom one an&s;wered you are one already, being <HI>doctus in libris,</HI> nay &s;aid the Stationer I am but <HI>dives in libris</HI> meaning rich in pounds.</P>
<P N="180">180 One boa&s;ted him&s;elfe to be e&s;teemd a wit, &s;aying the world &s;poke him to be all wit: one &s;tanding by that knew him very
<PB REF="41"> well, &s;aid i'&s;t po&s;&s;ible that you are taken to be a wit or one that is all-wit, if you be all wit, then your anagram is wit-all.</P>
<P N="181">181 A Gentleman hawk'd in an|others ground, to which the &s;urly owner &s;hewed him&s;elfe angry, at which the Gentle|man &s;pet in his face, what is your rea&s;on for that &s;aid the far|mer? I cry you mercy &s;aid the Gentleman I gave you warning for I hawk'd before I &s;pet.</P>
<P N="182">182 One running ha&s;tely with a &s;tick of fire in his hand to light a fagot another called him rogue
<PB REF="41"> which being angry and deman|ding his rea&s;on? he an&s;wered for that he had a brand in his hand.</P>
<P N="183">183 A patient man being domi|neer'd over by his wife that was flying about his eares, de&s;ired her not to teare his band for he would gladly weare it (if &s;he plea&s;ed) without cuffs.</P>
<P N="184">184 One was &s;aying that lead was the ba&s;e&s;t of all other met|tals: it is true &s;aid another but yet it is the &s;toute&s;t for the gla|&s;ier will tell you that it keepes more quarrels a&s;under then any other mettal in the world.</P>
<P N="185"><PB REF="42">185 A Joyner on a time tooke a pill and it &s;o wrought with him that he had fourty &s;tooles in a minute of an houre.</P>
<P N="186">186 Carriers &s;aid one are wi&s;e men, for they will not medle with any thing but they will know of what moment and waight it is.</P>
<P N="187">187 One who&s;e name was <HI>Gun,</HI> called a woman whore; &s;he be|ing moved at it had him before a ju&s;tice of peace about it, the
<PB REF="42"> ju&s;tice reprov'd him for it, and deepely charged him not to call her &s;o againe. As they were go|ing home the woman told him Ma&s;ter <HI>Gun</HI> you heard what the ju&s;tice &s;aid, I hope being &s;o deeply charg'd you will hence|forward give a better report.</P>
<P N="188">188 One &s;aid Painters were cun|ning fellowes for they had a co|lour for every thing they did.</P>
<P N="189">189 One a&s;ked why kitchin|maids went &s;o &s;lutti&s;hly? in re|gard they dre&s;t them&s;elves as cleanly as they did their meat.</P>
<P N="190"><PB REF="43">190 One was holding a &s;tiffe ar|gument with a Grocer concer|ning matters of trade: the Gro|cers wife bid him leave conte|&s;ting with her hu&s;band, for her hu&s;band was able to &s;hew him a thou&s;and rea&s;ons for one.</P>
<P N="191">191 One &s;aid to his friend that had been &s;peaking: I love to heare a man talke non&s;ence, the other an&s;wered I know you love to heare your &s;elfe talke as well as any man.</P>
<P N="192">192 One a&s;ked why begars &s;tood
<PB REF="43"> in the &s;treets begging with broomes in their hands? it was an&s;wered becau&s;e they did with them &s;weep away the durt out of peoples &s;ight, which while they had a mind on they would never part with a penny.</P>
<P N="193">193 A Gentleman tooke up &s;ome commodities upon tru&s;t in a &s;hop, promi&s;ing the ma&s;ter of the &s;hop that he would owe him &s;o much money: the ma&s;ter of the &s;hop was therewith very well contented, but &s;eeing that the Gentleman delayed the pai|ment he a&s;ked the money: the Gentleman told him he had not promi&s;ed to pay him, he had promi&s;ed to owe him &s;o much
<PB REF="44"> money and that he would in no wi&s;e breake his promi&s;e, which if he paid him he did.</P>
<P N="194">194 One &s;aid he had been kept &s;till to the &s;choole and had been made a &s;choller if he could but have learned to have declined <HI>mulier</HI> and for that cau&s;e was ta|ken from the &s;choole.</P>
<P N="195">195 One de&s;ired upon his death|bed to have his corps when he was dead &s;tuck with <HI>I&s;op,</HI> as is the fa&s;hion in divers places: one of his neighbors &s;itting by told him <HI>Time</HI> was better; why &s;aid the &s;ick man? becau&s;e &s;aid the
<PB REF="44"> other unle&s;&s;e you be buried in time you will &s;tinke that no creature will be able to go with you to the grave.</P>
<P N="196">196 One a&s;ked another what <HI>Shake&s;peares</HI> works were worth all being bound together? he an&s;wered not a farthing; not worth a farthing &s;aid he why &s;o? he an&s;wered that his plays were worth a great deale of mony but he never heard that his works were worth any thing at all.</P>
<P N="197">197 One was commending of the point-makers for good di&s;tinct
<PB REF="45"> readers and that they read better then any other people what&s;o|ever: another a&s;ked his rea&s;on he an&s;wered that &s;ince the fa|&s;hion of Ca&s;&s;ocks came up they kept their points, and that was the only way to make a mans reading gracefull.</P>
<P N="198">198 Two Poets being merry in a taverne the one was de&s;irous to be gone, the other entreated him to &s;tay telling him that if he did goe away he would make a comedie upon him, you &s;hall get nothing by that reply'd the other for then I will make a tra|gedy on thee and in the latter end of it thou &s;halt hang thy &s;elfe.</P>
<P N="199"><PB REF="45">199 One meeting his friend ri|ding on the way without boots a&s;ked him about what bu&s;ines he rid? the other told him that his bu&s;ine&s;&s;e was of great im|portance and he was likewi&s;e in great ha&s;te: I am very doubtfull then &s;aid he, that your labor is lo&s;t: why &s;aid he? becau&s;e quoth the other, you ride of a bootle&s;&s;e errand.</P>
<P N="200">200 One being at &s;upper at a friends hou&s;e it chanced there was mutton and capers for &s;up|per: fell into a di&s;cour&s;e of dancing &s;aying that he loved it
<PB REF="46"> better then any other kind of recreation, by and by taking notice of the capers which he had never &s;een before, tooke one upon his trencher cut it in the midle and put the halfe of it into his mouth: the ma&s;ter of the hou&s;e ob&s;erving it, &s;aid, Sir it &s;eemes you love dancing, very well when you cannot forbeare but you mu&s;t cut capers at &s;upper.</P>
<P N="201">201 A fellow had the pictures of the five &s;en&s;es &s;tolne out of his hou&s;e, whereupon he came to a ju&s;tice and de&s;ired that the theeves might be bound to the peace, for what &s;aid the Ju&s;tice for &s;tealing your pictures? yes
<PB REF="46"> &s;aith he; I thought &s;aid the Ju|&s;tice, you had lo&s;t your &s;en&s;es, that you talke &s;o idly.</P>
<P N="202">202 One among&s;t a croud of peo|ple on the top of <HI>Pauls &s;teeple</HI> had his pocket pickt: what vil|laines are the&s;e quoth he to pick a mans pocket in the Church! nay Sir &s;aid another, you are but rob'd upon the high-way.</P>
<P N="203">203 One a&s;ked another what gender <HI>Hermaphroditus</HI> was of, he an&s;wered of the neuter.</P>
<P N="204">204 One complain'd he kenw
<PB REF="47"> not how to maintaine his barns: be a good hu&s;band quoth a|nother and your barns will maintaine you.</P>
<P N="205">205 A rude deboi&s;t young man was plac'd by his friends with a Proctor, who ob&s;erving the mi&s;behaviour of the yong man, told his parents he feared their Sonne would never make a civil Lawyer.</P>
<P N="206">206 In &s;ome merry company one bid another mend his je&s;ts, for they were all crackt: they ought to be &s;o &s;aid he, for it is no je&s;t till it be broken.</P>
<P N="207"><PB REF="47">207 One &s;itting by the fire to take tobacco, &s;aid the fire was his friend and pre&s;ently &s;pet in|to it: to which one replyed you doe not well to quench your friends love by &s;petting in his face.</P>
<P N="208">208 A &s;awcy fellow abu&s;ing a Gentleman who&s;e name was <HI>Fi&s;her,</HI> the Gentleman &s;trooke him: for which being reproved and threatned with an action; is it not lawfull &s;aid he for a fi|&s;her to &s;trike a jack.</P>
<P N="209">209 Two &s;chollers walking along
<PB REF="48"> a River, were &s;tiffely arguing a point and wi&s;h'd for a modera|tor or a booke of &s;ome autho|rity: one of them pre&s;ently e&s;pying an angler &s;itting on a tree, cryed out, we have our wi&s;h! for yonder is <HI>pi&s;cator</HI> upon <HI>ramus.</HI></P>
<P N="210">210 Two Gentlemen comming into a taverne, one of them cal|led for a quart of claret, why doe you love claret &s;aid the o|ther? for my part I'le &s;ee i<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="MURP" EXTENT="1 letter"> burnt before I'le drinke a dro<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter"> of it.</P>
<P N="211">211 A Gentleman &s;hewing
<PB REF="48"> yong &s;tudent a part of <HI>Scotus</HI> in this &s;entence in an old caracter wherein was printed <HI>Dominus Scotus in &s;ententi<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter"></HI> and a&s;ked him if he was not <HI>Dunce Scotus?</HI> no replied the &s;choller <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter">hat on not be; except V be there.</P>
<P N="212">212 One &s;aid Gallants had rea&s;on to be good Schollers, becau&s;e they were deep in many books.</P>
<P N="213">213 One &s;eeing a printed booke, that was but one &s;heet of paper &s;aid it was not nece&s;&s;ary for any man to libell it for it did pe|nance in a &s;heet already.</P>
<P N="214"><PB REF="49">214 One a&s;ked which of the let|ters in the Alphabet were the mo&s;t authentique in a Bill or Bond? it was an&s;wered, IOV.</P>
<P N="215">215 One a&s;ked why men and their wives did not agree better now adayes? it was an&s;wered men were now more learned, and did know that it was fal&s;e concord that the ma&s;culine and femenine gender &s;hould agree at all.</P>
<P N="216">216 A Scholler that had his &s;tudy hung round with browne paper
<PB REF="49"> was us'd (when any came in to vi&s;it him in his &s;tudy) to &s;ay, he did love &s;ometimes to &s;it in a browne &s;tudy.</P>
<P N="217">217 Two being in a taverne, the one &s;wore the other &s;hould pledge him: why then quoth the other I will, who went pre|&s;ently downe the &s;taires, and left him as a pledge for the rec|koning.</P>
<P N="218">218 One a&s;ked wherefore a drum was in the wars? it was an&s;we|red to &s;tirre up valour in the Souldiers; that is &s;trange &s;aid <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter">he other for where&s;oever the
<PB REF="50"> victory falls the drums are &s;ure to be beaten.</P>
<P N="219">219 One a&s;ked why B &s;tood be|fore C? becau&s;e &s;aid another, a man mu&s;t B before he can C.</P>
<P N="220">220 One a&s;ked how long the lon|ge&s;t letter in the engli&s;h Alpha|bet was? it was an&s;wered an L long.</P>
<P N="221">221 One a&s;ked why &s;ome gentle|women wore feathers in thei<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter"> hats? it was answered becau&s;<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter"> they were light-headed.</P>
<GAP DESC="missing" EXTENT="2 pages">
<P N="232"><PB REF="50">
<PB REF="51">
<PB REF="51"> 232 Two (con&s;pired together) whereof one was a Gold-&s;mith, to &s;teal a &s;ilver bole intending to &s;hare the bu&s;ine&s;&s;e betwixt them, which when they had &s;tolen he that was the gold&s;mith becau&s;e it &s;hould not be known did gild it over: it was &s;enten|ced when the matter came to &s;canning, though the other &s;tole it, yet the gilt of the fact lay upon the gold-&s;mith.</P>
<P N="233">233 One comming by a Sexton (who was making a grave for one <HI>Button</HI> which was a great tal fellow) a&s;ked him for whom
<PB REF="52"> that extraordinary long grave was? he an&s;wered he had made many longer then that, and &s;aid it was but a button hole in re|&s;pect of &s;ome graves that he had made.</P>
<P N="234">234 One &s;aid a barber was an a|ctive man for if he did once take out his combe he would box a man about the eares and the man &s;carce feele it.</P>
<P N="235">235 One &s;aid a cooke of all me had the wor&s;t dige&s;tion, for&punc; &s;oone as he had eaten his meat he would be &s;ure to &s;pit hi<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter"> meat up againe.</P>
<P N="236"><PB REF="52">236 A great tall fellow who&s;e name was <HI>Way,</HI> lay along the &s;treet drunke: one went over him, and being a&s;ked why he did &s;o, he an&s;wered he did but goe along the high-way.</P>
<P N="237">237 A Gentleman (that was us'd to &s;end his letters by a foot|po&s;t that was an old flegmatick rotten fellow) complained that he &s;uffred much prejudice be|cau&s;e his letters came too late to his friends hands: another &s;tanding by told him it was his owne fault, becau&s;e he did &s;end them by a rotten po&s;t.</P>
<P N="238"><PB REF="53">238 One who&s;e name was <HI>You</HI> married a woman who&s;e name was <HI>You</HI> al&s;o: he for this cau&s;e was and ever will be cal'd Ma|&s;ter <HI>W.</HI></P>
<P N="239">239 One who had been &s;ome|what bitter to his wife com|playned to his neighbour (who was a northern man borne, and &s;pake accordingly) telling him that &s;he was &s;uch a peevi&s;h wo|man that he could not endure to live with her, who advi&s;ed him not to be &s;o har&s;h to her but to goe to her and &s;o-lace her and then &s;he would be more kind to him.</P>
<P N="240"><PB REF="53">240 One was &s;aying he wondred why the people in <HI>Aethiopia</HI> did not write &s;traight along as we northern people: one an&s;we|red they writ under the line and that was the rea&s;on of it.</P>
<P N="241">241 A <HI>Dyer</HI> who was an idle drunken fellow was complay|ning to a Scholler that he had very ill fortune in his bu&s;ine&s;&s;e, and that commonly tho&s;e things that he undertooke to dye were &s;poiled: the Scholler told him that the only way to have this amended was to reform him&s;elfe, for he that lived ill
<PB REF="54"> could never dye well.</P>
<P N="242">242 One who&s;e name was <HI>Church</HI> was telling &s;ome of his neigh|bors that his wife was with child and that he never in his life &s;aw any woman &s;o big be|fore: be&s;ides, told them that he feared &s;he would dye on child-bed. Whereupon one of them comforted him, &s;aying that there was no cau&s;e to feare her death, and for her bigne&s;&s;e that was no wonder, in regard &s;he had a church in her belly.</P>
<P N="243">243 A certaine man was mightily affected with a woman who&s;e
<PB REF="54"> name was <HI>Wall</HI> which did u&s;e painting very much, his friends did di&s;wade him from com|ming neere her telling him they did wonder he was &s;o be&s;otted to &s;et his affections upon a pain|ted wall.</P>
<P N="244">244 One (who&s;e hu&s;bands name was <HI>Beane</HI>) being delivered of two children at a burden, told the midwife &s;he had been &s;o troubled with wind all the time &s;he was with child that &s;he wondred at it: the midwife &s;aid it was no marvaile in regard her belly &s;o long had been full of beanes.</P>
<P N="245">245 One who&s;e name was <HI>Mild</HI>
<PB REF="55"> being in a tavern tooke out a new coyn'd &s;ix pence, who ob|&s;erving the company to take notice of the brightne&s;&s;e of the peece, told them it was a mild &s;ixpence.</P>
<P N="246">246 One a&s;ked what the rea&s;on was that &s;ome women were &s;o light heel'd now adayes? it was an&s;wered becau&s;e they did wear corke-heel'd &s;hooes.</P>
<P N="247">247 One having a play book cal|led the <HI>Wits</HI> which he much va|lued, by chance lo&s;t it: but while he was chafing and &s;wea|ring about the lo&s;&s;e of his book,
<PB REF="55"> in comes one of his friends who a&s;king the cau&s;e of his di&s;tem|per, it was an&s;wered that he had lo&s;t his wits.</P>
<P N="248">248 One &s;tood to prove that a brewers hor&s;e was a tap&s;ter be|cau&s;e he did draw beere: an|other an&s;wered him it could not be; becau&s;e though a brew|ers hor&s;e (if he were overladen) would froth, yet he could not nicke.</P>
<P N="249">249 One reading of a <HI>Curranto</HI> &s;aid he wondred that men did &s;o affect to lye in paper and yet without &s;heets.</P>
<P N="250"><PB REF="56">250 One a&s;ked what herbe that was that cured all di&s;ea&s;es? it was an&s;wered <HI>Time.</HI></P>
<P N="251">251 One being about to write the &s;uper&s;cription of a letter to his mi&s;tres, a&s;ked a Scholler what termes were be&s;t to give her? who told him the <HI>Venus la&s;&s;e</HI> of his affections was a good word; he mi&s;taking writ to the <HI>Venice gla&s;&s;e</HI> of his affecti|ons which was a truer title then he was aware off.</P>
<P N="252"><PB REF="56">252 An <HI>&V;phol&s;ter</HI> was chiding his Apprentice becau&s;e he was not nimble enough at his worke, and had not his nailes and ham|mar in readines when he &s;hould u&s;e them, telling him that when he was an Apprentice he was taught to have his nailes at his fingers ends.</P>
<P N="253">253 One who&s;e name was <HI>Rapier</HI> being a man of a grave calling yet u&s;ing to weare a white &s;uite was chid for not getting a black &s;cabbard to his rapier.</P>
<P N="254"><PB REF="57">254 One a&s;ked what that yong man de&s;erved that did love al|wayes to be in a play-hou&s;e? It was an&s;wered a box.</P>
<P N="255">255 One being at a friends hou&s;e in the night was per&s;waded to &s;tay all night, but denied &s;aying he would be gone becau&s;e it was moone light: his friend told him he thought he had not been &s;o lunatique as to love to walke in the moone light.</P>
<P N="256">256 One wondred why there was
<PB REF="57"> &s;o many picke-pockets about the &s;treets notwith&s;tanding a watch was at every corner! it was an&s;wered that was all one for a pick-pocket would as gladly meet with a watch as any thing el&s;e.</P>
<P N="257">257 Certaine Go&s;&s;ips being a di&s;|cour&s;ing of the Company their hu&s;bands kept, troth &s;ayes one my hu&s;band is no &s;oo<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter">er out of doores but he has as many a|bout him, as there is to &s;ee the great bea&s;t with two paire of horns.</P>
<P N="258">258 A Company of Country fel|lows di&s;puting of learning, and
<PB REF="58"> what a crooked, hard, and in|tricat thing it was to be a good Scholler: truly &s;ayes one, and &s;o it is, for I have heard your be&s;t laten is in crooked lane.</P>
<P N="259">259 One que&s;tioned which were the greate&s;t wonders in the world? 'twas an&s;wered wo|mens <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="MURP" EXTENT="1 span"> tongues; for that they did alwayes lye, yet never ley &s;till.</P>
<P N="260">260 One demanded what crea|ture was mo&s;t like an A&s;&s;e? he was an&s;wered a Puritane; in that they had the longe&s;t eares.</P>
<P N="261"><PB REF="58">261 A Coblers wife &s;peaking of the place &s;he liv'd in before &s;he was married, her prenti&s;e mumbling &s;aid there was none but whores and Bauds lived there: what's that you &s;ay Sirrah quoth &s;he? marry I &s;ay there are hone&s;ter women then your &s;elfe liv'd there.</P>
<P N="262">262 On a Puritan</P>
<LG>
<L>Who is't d'you thinke, this earth doth here inclo&s;e?</L>
<L>I know not; why, 'tis a di&s;puting no&s;e.</L>
</LG>
<P N="263"><PB REF="59">263 A young la&s;civious Gallant wanting mony, could not with his credit &s;ell any thing: yet, his Father being but lately dead at lenght was checkt by &s;ome of his friends for his loo&s;e and ex|travagant life, and withall told that he had ba&s;e and bea&s;tly A|&s;ociats that did draw him to ill hou&s;es: he taking this oppor|tunity, an&s;wered, truly friends your coun&s;ell is very good, I will pre&s;ently go &s;ell my coach and hor&s;es.</P>
<P N="264">264 On a Cobler.</P>
<LG>
<L>If any aske why this &s;ame &s;tone was made?</L>
<PB REF="59">
<L>(Know) for a Cobler newly underlayd</L>
<L>Here for his overboa&s;ting; pray condole,</L>
<L>Him that tran&s;lated many a weary &s;ole.</L>
</LG>
<P N="265">265 A Steward being &s;et on by a Theefe who commanded him to deliver, he being a Receiver: The Steward replyed, I hope you will &s;pare me I being a Re|ceiver al&s;o: you &s;hall be, &s;aid the Theefe if you deliver not the &s;ooner.</P>
<P N="266">266 One &s;itting at dinner where great &s;tore of rude mirth was
<PB REF="60"> di&s;cour&s;ed and laught at: a prat|ling youth clapt him on the &s;houlder, and a&s;ked him if he was making ver&s;e he was &s;o mute (who replyed he was) &s;peake them quoth he? no re|plyed the other; why you can|not &s;peake them in better com|pany: I &s;uppo&s;e &s;o quoth the mode&s;t man, but two fooles at once will be too trouble&s;ome.</P>
<P N="267">267 A Scholler cal'd a tayler ba&s;e fellow in a taverne: who &s;wore he would have him to the court of <HI>Honour:</HI> if you doe replyed the Scholler, looke you make your words good, for I would not willingly be the cau&s;e of putting it upon record.</P>
<P N="268"><PB REF="60">268 A Gentleman going along the &s;treet was entreated by a poore criple that had wooden legges to be&s;tow his charity to whom the Gentleman an&s;we|red if he would make a han&s;om legge he &s;hould have a couple of farthings.</P>
<P N="269">269 A company of Gentlemen comming into a Tavern who&s;e &s;igne was the Moone called for a quart of &s;acke the drawer told them they had none? whereat the gentlemen wondring were told by the drawer that the man in the Moone alwayes drunke Claret.</P>
<P N="270"><PB REF="61">270 One that was &s;kild in writing &s;hort hand, promi&s;ed a Lawiers Clarke to teach him his &s;kill who thanked him for his paines but told him they could not live by making &s;hort hand of any thing.</P>
<P N="271">271 One &s;aid a civit cat was a dainty thing to keepe in a hou&s;e becau&s;e her dung was &s;weet, an|other &s;aid it was true but yet it was more profitable to keepe a cooke e&s;pecially in a deare yee<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter"> becau&s;e he &s;pitted ro&s;t.</P>
<P N="272"><PB REF="61">272 One a&s;ked why hard wax was &s;o much in reque&s;t now a dayes it was an&s;wered becau&s;e the world did wax &s;o hard.</P>
<P N="273">273 A woman having married an old man who&s;e name was <HI>Ed|ward</HI> (whom &s;he thought had been very rich, but not worth a penny) being asked what &s;he had by her marriage, an&s;wered an old <HI>Edward.</HI></P>
<P N="274">274 A Gentleman comming in the night to vi&s;it an old man
<PB REF="62"> who had a han&s;om wench to his wife, and &s;u&s;pected to be a lit|tle too light was entreated by the old man to walke into a roome, his wife having a candle in her hand, entreated the gen|tleman to follow her, who told her he would have her hu&s;band (becau&s;e he was an old man) to follow the light.</P>
<P N="274">274 Two Gentlemen were in a deep di&s;pute whether the man in the Moone were a gentleman or a cittizen, it was determined by a Scholler that when &s;he was at full, there was a gentle|man in her, but when &s;he appea|red like a horne there was a cit|tizen in her.</P>
<P N="275"><PB REF="62">275 A ju&s;tice of peace &s;ending a <HI>Cheat</HI> to de&s;erved puni&s;hment, the Cheater bewailing his hard fortune wi&s;hed he could as ea|&s;ily learne to commit as the Ju|&s;tice could di&s;cover knavery: why, that you may &s;aid the Ju|&s;tice; never, reply'd the Knave without I be put in authority.</P>
<P N="276">276 A Gentleman in wants was <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter">dvi&s;ed by his friend to &s;erve a <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter">oble man that &s;o he might <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter">ai&s;e his fortune: that was &s;aid <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter">e to refu&s;e a <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter">e&s;&s;er poverty for <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter"> greater, for although I am <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter">oore yet I have my &s;elfe, there <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="MURP" EXTENT="1 word"> &s;hall not.</P>
<P N="277"><PB REF="63">277 A french-man &s;coffing at the fancies of the Engli&s;h, in admi|ring their Nation and negle|cting their owne, was thus an|&s;wered: We in England e&s;tee|med you, as you in France do our hownds for plea&s;ure</P>
<P N="278">278 One &s;coffingly demanded of a Drawer with a great Crim&s;on face full of high rubyes, when he was at the Barbers? the draw|er an&s;wer'd, troth Sir I cannot tell well, but to my be&s;t remem|brance 'twas much about the time your face was bra&s;ed.</P>
<P N="279"><PB REF="63">279 A booke-binder di&s;appoin|ting a Scholler of his Books which he had to bind for him, the Scholler being angry cal'd him idle Knave; the Binder not long after brought home his books and hauing received his mony for&punc; <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="2 letters">em, de&s;ired to know of the Scholler why he cal'd him Knave the other day? to deale plainly with thee &s;aid the Scholler becau&s;e I would not flatter thee; Why Sir doe you thinke &s;o &s;aid the Binder? yes faith replyed the Scholler; then, I waigh not your words much quoth the Binder, &s;ince children and fooles &s;peake what they thinke: I but they are
<PB REF="64"> Knaves (&s;aid the Scholler) that &s;peake again&s;t knowledge: In|deed Sir I tooke you for one of them and &s;o went his way.</P>
<P N="281">281 A fooli&s;h mellancholly Gen|tle man riding with his man on the high way &s;uddenly cryed out his foot his foot! his man &s;tarted and de&s;ired him to light that he might &s;ee what 'twas that hurt him, then pluck off this boot, &s;aid he, which being done the man told him, &s;ir here is nothing, then prethee &s;ayes the gentleman pluck off the o|ther, for &s;ure one of them pai|ned me.</P>
<P N="282"><PB REF="64" MS="y">282 A pretty wench but lately come out of the Country in her pouledavis and lin&s;i-wool&s;y petticoats, living in the &s;trand, was &s;eene not long after in her &s;ilkes and &s;attins and being by one of her country-women de|manded how &s;uch might be purcha&s;ed? faith an&s;wer'd &s;he only for the <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 word"></P>
<P N="283">283 A Citizen going out of towne with &s;ome of his neigh|bors to hunt, pree-thee &s;weet heart (&s;ayes he to his wife) pray that I meet not a <HI>Diana</HI> and &s;o come home like to <HI>Actaeon,</HI>
<PB REF="65"> horn'd, or be torne to peeces with the dogs: his wife think|ing he had clo&s;ely jeer'd her, and thinking to be revenged; &s;aid truly hu&s;band whether you meet <HI>Diana</HI> or no, I'le take or|der you &s;hall not want.</P>
<P N="284">284 Certain Gallants being at a taverne where they &s;par'd no liquor: in&s;omuch that all were well entred: but one who&s;e head was &s;omewhat weaker and therefore lighter, did nothing but &s;pew; and calling for a re|koning, why &s;ayes one of his friends cannot you tell, that have &s;o often ca&s;t up what you have drunke.</P>
<P N="285"><PB REF="65">285 A Gentleman meeting of a married Souldier newly come from the wars, demanded what charge he underwent? the Soldier replyed a Captaines: truly an&s;wered the Gentleman then you may help your wife to an Ancients place for &s;he can beare &s;toutly.</P>
<P N="286">286 A fellow going downe <HI>Lud|gate-Hill,</HI> his heeles by chance &s;lipping from him fell upon his breech: one &s;tanding by told him that London-&s;tones were &s;tout and &s;cornfull; it may be &s;o quoth he, yet I made them to ki&s;&s;e my breech as &s;tout as they were.</P>
<P N="287"><PB REF="66">287 A Coward told his friend that one gave him a box on the eare and he did not &s;trike him again but turn'd the other al&s;o to him: to which his friend an|&s;wered &s;ure there was a great fight betwixt you when blowes were given on both &s;ides.</P>
<P N="288">288 One a&s;ked why Prentices were &s;o briefe with their clubs when Gentlemen were falling out or quareling in the &s;treets? one replyed it was their oppor|tunity to be revenged on them for medling with their mi|&s;tre&s;&s;es.</P>
<P N="289"><PB REF="66">289 A Country farmer having a Pound neere his hou&s;e, whereat was a Dunghill which at it's full maturity he &s;old: on the next market-day among&s;t other di&s;|cour&s;e told his neighbors that he had made as good a market as ever he did in his life, for he had &s;old all his dunghill by the pound: one replyed troth neighbor you cannot chu&s;e but be rich, I have one to &s;ell, pray neighbor tell me how you &s;old a pound, and how many hun|dred weight there was in it.</P>
<P N="290">290 One a&s;ked a Gentlewoman
<PB REF="67"> in which part of the hou&s;e &s;he did u&s;e to lye? it was an&s;wer'd that &s;he lay backwards and did let out her fore-roomes.</P>
<P N="291">291 A company of Gentlemen in a tavern among&s;t the re&s;t one who&s;e name was <HI>Bramble</HI> who being very quarel&s;ome, ere they parted fell to words and &s;o to blowes, and had beaten and &s;cratch't one of the Gentlemen in the face that he bled, whogo|ing home one of his friends meeting him by the way a&s;ked the cau&s;e how he came to bleed &s;o: No great harme replyed he onely (a <HI>bramble</HI>) by chance &s;cratch't me.</P>
<P N="292"><PB REF="67">292 One told his friend if he would be plea&s;ed to go with him he would bring him to a place where they &s;hould have wenches and lob&s;ters by the belly.</P>
<P N="293">293 A &s;hoe-maker &s;ent his man unto a Gentleman who had ought him money a long-time for bootes and &s;hoes that had formerly been made for him; the &s;ervant comming to the Gentleman told him his Ma&s;ter would intreate him to &s;end that little money which was due to him as afore&s;aid, whereat
<PB REF="68"> the Gentleman (rather wil|ling to cavell then pay) in a great rage an&s;wered. Thou rogue what doth thy Ma&s;ter thinke I am running away that he &s;ends after me for &s;uch a tri|fle as this is? No Sir replyed the &s;ervant, my ma&s;ter doth not thinke you are about to runne away; but he is, and that makes him &s;o earne&s;t with you and others that he might take his money along with him.</P>
<P N="294">294 A Gentleman invited to his table many gue&s;ts, and provi|ded for them divers di&s;hes of meate, among&s;t the re&s;t there being a legge of <HI>Mutton,</HI> one in the company took it and fell
<PB REF="68"> &s;o homely to worke with it, that he pared off all the fle&s;h and laying it in &s;craps in the di&s;h called to a &s;ervant to break the bone for him, which one perceiving that &s;at next the gentleman that invited them, jogged him and &s;hewed him how uncivilly the party had be|haved him&s;elfe; whereupon the Gentleman a little mov'd yet unwilling to be too playne began a tale to the whole table thus, I was quoth he not long &s;ince with a friend of mine that much delighted in hunting and after our &s;port, comming home he would needs &s;ee his dogges fed before he would eate any thing him&s;elfe, which I labo|red to di&s;wade him from, in re|gard he was in a very faire new
<PB REF="69"> white Satten &s;ute which might <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter">mong&s;t the dogs receive &s;ome hurt, but rather willed him for that time to &s;uffer &s;ome of his &s;ervants to do it; all would not prevail but into the yard where the dogs were kept he went, whither he was no &s;ooner come but one of the dogs that was all mire and dirt fell to ramping on him and albeit the dogge &s;poy|led his faire &s;uite yet he rebu|ked not the dogge but on the contrary cheri&s;hed him, which I perceiving &s;aid to my friend, Sir what doe you mean to &s;uf|fer a &s;curvy dog to &s;poyle &s;uch a &s;uite as that is, alas replyed my friend, what would you have me doe to him you &s;ee as wel as I he is but a puppy. Which was no &s;ooner &s;poken but by all
<PB REF="69"> the table applied to him that had &s;o &s;poyled the mutton.</P>
<P N="295">295 One a&s;ked whence the word <HI>Interpreter</HI> was derived? it was an&s;wered <HI>qua&s;i Inter-prater,</HI> for one that prated betwixt two that &s;pake &s;everall languages.</P>
<P N="296">296 One a&s;ked why Chamber|maids were more troubled with the greene-&s;ickne&s;&s;e then other women? it was an&s;wered be|cau&s;e they u&s;ed to lye at their Ma&s;ters beds-feet.</P>
<P N="297">297 One a&s;ked what bea&s;t in the
<PB REF="70" MS="y"> world might be &s;aid to have the be&s;t under&s;tanding? it was an|&s;wered a Cuckold.</P>
<P N="298">298 A maid told her Mi&s;tre&s;&s;e &s;he mu&s;t entreat her to keepe more maids, becau&s;e &s;he was much overlaid.</P>
<P N="299">299 Printers (&s;aies one) are the mo&s;t lawle&s;&s;e men in a King|dome for they commit faults <HI>eum privilegio.</HI></P>
<TRAILER>FINIS.</TRAILER>
<PB REF="70">
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</TEXT>
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