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<DATE>2014-05-01</DATE>
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<NAME>Anne Simpson</NAME>
<RESP>MURP</RESP>
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<IDG S="marc" R="UM" ID="B18110">
<STC T="W">B4550</STC>
<BIBNO T="oclc">[ocm]09498737</BIBNO>
<VID>204437</VID>
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<TEXT LANG="eng">
<FRONT>
<DIV1 TYPE="title page">
<PB REF="1">
<P>A BRIEF CHARACTER OF <HI>Ireland,</HI> With &s;ome Ob&s;ervations of the <HI>C&V;STOMS,</HI> &amp;c. of the meaner &s;ort of the Na|tural Inhabitants of that <HI>KINGDOM.</HI></P>
<Q>&mdash;Non &s;eria Semper.</Q>
<LICENSE LANG="eng">
<P><HI>Licen&s;ed,</HI> Nov. 16. 1691.</P>
</LICENSE>
<P><HI>LONDON,</HI> Printed for <HI>W. C.</HI> and are to be Sold by <HI>R. Taylor,</HI> 1692.</P>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="to the reader">
<PB REF="2">
<PB REF="2">
<OPENER><SALUTE>Courteous Reader,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>THis &s;light <HI>Schitz</HI> of a Neighbouring <HI>Nation</HI> here pre&s;ented to View, may to Strangers appear like a <HI>Piece</HI> of meer <HI>Grote&s;coe,</HI> an extravagant mixture of <HI>Reality</HI> and <HI>Fiction,</HI> or <HI>Truth</HI> and <HI>Fa|ble:</HI> But &s;uch as have <HI>re&s;ided</HI> among&s;t, and <HI>conver&s;ed</HI> with them, do allow it bears &s;o near <HI>re&s;emblance</HI> with the <HI>Original,</HI> that they have acknowledg'd it to be exact in all its <HI>Features</HI> and <HI>Symmetry.</HI> I might, in|deed, have be&s;towed my Pains on a much <HI>Nobler</HI> Subject, but the <HI>Figures</HI> and <HI>Po&s;tures</HI> of <HI>Owls,</HI> or <HI>Apes</HI> may &s;ometimes
<PB REF="3"> be as diverting to the Eye, if Naturally repre&s;ented, as the more &s;tately <HI>Objects.</HI> That I have not done this out of any private <HI>Pique</HI> mu&s;t be granted, &s;ince 'tis known this <HI>Task</HI> was <HI>commanded:</HI> And if I can by any be convinc'd that I have in the lea&s;t particular injur'd them, I &s;hall be ready at any time to confe&s;s my Error, and give them a Satisfaction as Publick, as the Mi&s;take and Sin hereby com|mitted. <HI>Adieu.</HI></P>
</DIV1>
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<BODY>
<DIV1 TYPE="text">
<PB N="1" REF="3">
<HEAD>A Brief CHARACTER OF <HI>IRELAND.</HI> OR, Some Ob&s;ervations on that Country, and its meaner Inhabitants, the <HI>Teagues.</HI></HEAD>
<P><HI>IRELAND</HI> (at pre&s;ent the <HI>Land of Ire,</HI> or Heavens Wrath) hath little in it, now, of <HI>God's Ble&s;&s;ing,</HI> and never had very much of the <HI>warm Sun.</HI> It &s;eems in the opinion of &s;ome, to be part of the <HI>refu&s;e</HI> of the <HI>Globe</HI> of the <HI>Earth</HI> at the <HI>Creation,</HI> and that when the re&s;t of <HI>Europe</HI> was compleated and po|li&s;hed,
<PB N="2" REF="4"> &s;ome of the <HI>&s;crapings</HI> and <HI>rubbi&s;h</HI> was ca&s;t out at this <HI>back|door,</HI> which being half dried by the &s;quinting beams of <HI>Sol,</HI> was in &s;ome mea&s;ure <HI>dough-baked,</HI> into an <HI>I&s;land</HI> of what worth and quality &s;hall be hereafter de&s;cribed.</P>
<P>If <HI>Europe</HI> be compared to a piece of fine <HI>Cloath,</HI> this mu&s;t needs be &s;ome of the <HI>Li&s;t,</HI> or fagg end: If to a &s;tately <HI>Palace,</HI> this is the Po&s;tern: If to a humane Figure, where-ever we place the <HI>Head,</HI> this will &s;urely hold more proportion and &s;imili|tude with the <HI>Tail,</HI> as will appear upon farther Con&s;ideration.</P>
<P>Some formerly have thought fit to call it the<NOTE N="*" PLACE="marg">See the Land Voyage at the End.</NOTE> <HI>Wa|tering-Pot</HI> of the <HI>Pla|nets,</HI> and the French have named it, <HI>Le Pott de Chambre du Diable,</HI> i. e. <HI>the Devil's Pi&s;s-pot,</HI> &s;eldom dry, but often running over, the Rains fal|ling down &s;o frequently, as if the Heavens were a wounded <HI>Eye</HI> per|petually
<PB N="3" REF="4"> weeping over it, or the Clouds dropping Spunges,
<Q><L>It pours &s;o fa&s;t and oft, 'tis too well known,</L>
<L>The Clouds are there not troubled with the Stone.</L></Q></P>
<P>And then for the often Gu&s;ts of Wind, it may well be reck'ned as <HI>Nature's Bellows,</HI> but for this, they may perhaps have rea&s;on to thank the <HI>Bantamites,</HI> who &s;owing &s;o much <HI>Pepper</HI> yearly in the <HI>Ea&s;t-Indies</HI> in the Bowels of our Grand|mother <HI>Earth,</HI> it mu&s;t needs cau&s;e her to break Wind backwards in the&s;e <HI>We&s;tern</HI> Parts, where &s;he ea&s;es her &s;elf of the <HI>Collick:</HI> what ad|vantage they reap by it I know not, but the old Proverb &s;ays, <HI>It's an ill Wind blows no Good.</HI></P>
<P>Says one, It is a Frippery for Bankrupts or the Grand Ho&s;pital for &s;uch as are troubled with a Con|&s;umption in their E&s;tate and Credit.
<PB N="4" REF="5"> But whatever it were formerly, there is &s;mall hopes now that Stran|gers &s;hould be there cured of &s;uch de&s;perate Di&s;ea&s;es, &s;ince the whole Country may well pa&s;s for a Map of general Mi&s;ery and Poverty, the Natives and Inhabitants being mo&s;t of them the lively Portraitures of the Prodigal Lad in his mo&s;t Swi|ni&s;h Condition; &s;o that it were no le&s;s difficult now to get into an E&s;tate there (unle&s;s by the Con|quering Sword) than to get out of one of their deepe&s;t Bogs, when one is &s;inking, and can neither help ones &s;elf out; nor per&s;uade <HI>Teague</HI> to a&s;&s;i&s;t, unle&s;s St. <HI>Patrick</HI> does prompt him in a mo&s;t &s;pecial man|ner.</P>
<P>Yet is the Soil in many Parts fat, and liking (as Dunghils are) and were it well husbanded, would yield a plentiful Encrea&s;e; but what thorow Lazine&s;s, and want of In|du&s;try, (I &s;peak of the meer Iri&s;h, to whom the whole Character re|lates)
<PB N="5" REF="5"> and their innate Pride, and Self-conceitedne&s;s, which makes them di&s;dain to be taught by Foreigners, they do &s;o little Improve their Lands, that unle&s;s it be them&s;elves, nothing to an Ingenious Eye can be a &s;adder Spectacle.</P>
<P>Inclo&s;ures are very rare among&s;t them, and tho&s;e no better fenced than an Old Midwife's toothle&s;s Gums, or tho&s;e Parts of <HI>Northamp|ton&s;hire,</HI> where the Hedges were grubbed up by the rebellious Rout of the Commoners.</P>
<P>Much of their Land is re&s;erved for Grazing and Pa&s;turage; and there, indeed, the Gra&s;s being ve|ry &s;weet, and holding a con&s;tant <HI>verdure,</HI> it is in many places &s;o in|dented with <HI>Purling Brooks</HI> and <HI>Streams,</HI> that their Meadows look like a new Green Carpet border'd or <HI>fringed</HI> with the pure&s;t <HI>Silver:</HI> yet <HI>Hay</HI> is a Rarity among&s;t them, and would co&s;t them more pains than they can well afford, towards
<PB N="6" REF="6"> the making of it, therefore they &s;eldom or never trouble their <HI>heads</HI> or <HI>hands</HI> about it. And then for their <HI>Arrable</HI> Ground, it lies mo&s;t commonly as much neglected and unmanured as the &s;andy <HI>De&s;arts</HI> of <HI>Arabia,</HI> or a ranting Young <HI>Gal|lant's</HI> Old Bed-rid <HI>Spou&s;e.</HI> And, not to particularize every Circum|&s;tance, their National Cu&s;tom of <HI>Ploughing,</HI> by tying their wooden Harne&s;s to the <HI>Hor&s;es-Tail,</HI> and that other &s;en&s;ele&s;s Improvidence of <HI>burn|ing</HI> their <HI>Oats</HI> to &s;ave the Labour of <HI>Thra&s;hing,</HI> are two &s;uch very remarkable Proofs of their <HI>Husban|dry,</HI> that it would be needle&s;s to de&s;cribe it further: So that what|ever the <HI>Country</HI> be, they are a <HI>wild Herd of brute Animals</HI> inha|biting, but not improving, it.</P>
<P>This <HI>Sloath</HI> and carele&s;sne&s;s is judged to be one rea&s;on why all &s;orts of <HI>Grain</HI> and <HI>Fruits</HI> are of a le&s;s and more degenerate <HI>growth,</HI> than in other well <HI>Cultivated</HI> and
<PB N="7" REF="6"> <HI>Improved</HI> Countries (which is al&s;o noted in mo&s;t of their <HI>Vegetables</HI> and <HI>Animals, Women</HI> and <HI>Grey|hounds</HI> only excepted) the Corn &s;eldom &s;hoots up to that a&s;piring height upon its Spindle, as may be &s;een el&s;ewhere, nor does it attain &s;o full and weighty an Ear as to make it bend down to ki&s;s its <HI>Mo|thers bo&s;om;</HI> but grows &s;o dwarfi&s;h, thin, and full of Weeds, that it re|&s;embles the <HI>Field</HI> in the <HI>Parable,</HI> which the <HI>Evil</HI> One &s;owed with <HI>Tares.</HI></P>
<P>To which may be coupled the <HI>Hou&s;wifery of the Women,</HI> and it were pity to part their good qua|lities, who&s;e <HI>na&s;tine&s;s</HI> cannot better be de&s;cribed, than by directly op|po&s;ing them again&s;t the <HI>Dutch,</HI> as the other extream; the&s;e being no le&s;s exce&s;&s;ive in their exqui&s;ite <HI>Slut|tery,</HI> than the other in their over|nice <HI>cleanline&s;s:</HI> and though both have a too fond opinion of their ways, yet, if I mi&s;take not, the&s;e
<PB N="8" REF="7"> <HI>Kernes</HI> have a much better conceit of their <HI>Sordidne&s;s,</HI> than the other of their over-nice <HI>Curio&s;ity,</HI> which though perhaps is a fault in both, may be more excu&s;able in the <HI>Dutch</HI> (as one &s;ays in the like ca&s;e) the <HI>Hollander</HI> being indeed Proud of a <HI>Mole-hill;</HI> but the <HI>Teague</HI> of a <HI>Dunghill,</HI> the place whereon mo&s;t commonly the rank Weeds of <HI>Pride</HI> and <HI>Arrogance</HI> are apte&s;t to grow. And how ill the&s;e two agree, <HI>Pride</HI> and <HI>Poverty,</HI> the <HI>Proverb</HI> will tell them. In this me-thinks they may be fitly compared to their own high <HI>Mountains,</HI> which have their <HI>Heads</HI> rai&s;ed above the <HI>Clouds,</HI> and &s;eem to wear the <HI>Stars</HI> for a <HI>Coro|net;</HI> but yet are, indeed, no better <HI>dighted,</HI> than with a <HI>dirty Bog</HI> on the <HI>top,</HI> more <HI>deep</HI> and dangerous than the lowe&s;t Road in the <HI>Val|leys.</HI></P>
<P>Says one, <Q REND="margQuotes">I never yet found <HI>Pride</HI> in a Noble Nature, nor <HI>Humility</HI> in an unworthy Mind:
<PB N="9" REF="7"> it may &s;eem &s;trange to an incon|&s;iderate Eye, that &s;uch a poor <HI>Violet Vertue</HI> &s;hould ever dwell with <HI>Honour,</HI> and &s;uch an A&s;pi|ring fume as <HI>Pride</HI> &s;hould gene|rally &s;ojourn with <HI>ba&s;ene&s;s:</HI></Q> Whe|ther it be not &s;o among&s;t the meaner Iri&s;h, I leave knowing Per|&s;ons to judge. And &s;ure I am, this <HI>Pride</HI> is their greate&s;t <HI>Enemy;</HI> it makes them <HI>un&s;ociable</HI> with the <HI>Engli&s;h,</HI> their mi&s;taken and ambi|tious thoughts &s;etting their <HI>worth</HI> above <HI>them&s;elves,</HI> and all others beneath them; makes them de|&s;pi&s;e their <HI>Amity</HI> and <HI>Ingenuity,</HI> Di&s;|dain being writ upon their <HI>Brow,</HI> where one may <HI>read, I am too good for thee:</HI> This makes them <HI>idle</HI> in their <HI>Occupations, carele&s;s</HI> to <HI>improve</HI> their <HI>Knowledge,</HI> and if &s;ome of them are Born to good Parts by <HI>Nature,</HI> they rarely add any thing by <HI>Indu&s;try:</HI> This makes them hug their old <HI>Ethnick</HI> Cu&s;toms, not becau&s;e they are <HI>good,</HI> but becau&s;e
<PB N="10" REF="8"> their <HI>Ance&s;tors</HI> formerly <HI>u&s;ed</HI> them, and them&s;elves have &s;ince <HI>practi&s;ed</HI> them: In fine, this makes them chu&s;e rather to <HI>want</HI> than to <HI>work,</HI> rather to <HI>&s;teal</HI> than to <HI>want,</HI> and &s;o rather run the hazard of the greate&s;t Severity of the <HI>Law</HI> for &s;uch Offences, than to <HI>earn their Bread by hone&s;t Labour,</HI> and gain a <HI>livelihood</HI> with the <HI>&s;weat of their Brows.</HI></P>
<P>Their <HI>Dwellings</HI> or <HI>Cabans,</HI> I &s;hould more exactly de&s;cribe, if I dur&s;t have adventured oftner into them; or could have &s;taid long enough to have Survey'd them at my being there; which I did once <HI>a&s;&s;ay,</HI> but found it as hazardous al|mo&s;t, as <HI>Orpheus</HI> his de&s;cent into <HI>Hell,</HI> where there might be indeed a greater <HI>Fire,</HI> but not more <HI>Smoak,</HI> which thick <HI>Cloud</HI> in the mid&s;t of the Room did &s;o <HI>blind me,</HI> and <HI>conceal</HI> the <HI>Hou&s;e,</HI> that I could &s;carce remember any thing, but my &s;ore <HI>Eyes,</HI> when I came out <HI>again:</HI>
<PB N="11" REF="8"> Should they be as much troubled with that other <HI>noi&s;om Di&s;ea&s;e</HI> of <HI>Scolding Wives,</HI> as they are with <HI>Smoaky Hou&s;es,</HI> they might well upon each <HI>Door</HI> write, <HI>Lord have Mercy upon us,</HI> for certainly there cannot be a greater <HI>Plague.</HI></P>
<P>As for the outward <HI>Structure,</HI> an <HI>Engli&s;h Cow-hou&s;e</HI> hath more <HI>Archi|tecture</HI> far; nay, my <HI>Lord Mayor's Dog-kennel</HI> is a <HI>Palace</HI> compared to them: and for <HI>&s;weetne&s;s,</HI> I have heard many affirm, that the foule&s;t Corner about the <HI>Bear-garden</HI> is <HI>Musk</HI> and <HI>Amber</HI> to their <HI>&s;weete&s;t Rooms.</HI></P>
<P>The <HI>Walls</HI> are made of meer <HI>Mud,</HI> mixed with a little wet <HI>Straw,</HI> the Covering is <HI>Thatch;</HI> the Floor <HI>Earth;</HI> which, by rea&s;on of the con&s;tant Rains, is generally &s;o damp, that they may be &s;aid to live over a <HI>Bog;</HI> and the <HI>Thatch</HI> &s;o ill thra&s;hed, that (by the &s;prouting of the left <HI>Corn,</HI> which often &s;prings up green) it may be added, they live under a
<PB N="12" REF="9"> <HI>Meadow;</HI> or (as a Per&s;on of Ho|nour &s;aid of the like place, to which he mo&s;t aptly compared the <HI>Long, long, long Parliament</HI>) they have green <HI>Ears</HI> over their <HI>Heads,</HI> and a fal&s;e <HI>Ground</HI> under their <HI>Feet.</HI></P>
<P>The <HI>Beds</HI> are upon &s;uch a firm Foundation, that nothing but an <HI>Earthquake</HI> can move them; In|&s;tead of <HI>Feathers</HI> or <HI>Flocks,</HI> they u&s;e <HI>Ru&s;hes</HI> or <HI>Straw,</HI> which &s;erves them without changing, till ca&s;t <HI>Hor&s;e-litter</HI> is a fragrant <HI>No&s;egay</HI> to it, and <HI>Jacob</HI>'s &s;weet Lodging on the <HI>fre&s;h Gra&s;s,</HI> compared to it, is like the <HI>Plea&s;ure</HI> of the <HI>Marriage-Bed.</HI></P>
<P><HI>Sheets</HI> they never provide, and to tell the <HI>naked Truth,</HI> unle&s;s they can purcha&s;e a poor <HI>Cadow,</HI> which is not often, they <HI>ligg</HI> together like <HI>Adam</HI> and <HI>Eve</HI> before the <HI>Fall,</HI> not a <HI>Rag</HI> to cover them, but them&s;elves: which may be one rea&s;on why they &s;o multiply; for
<PB N="13" REF="9"> being nece&s;&s;itated to keep together for warmth, they ingender as thick as <HI>Fly-blows,</HI> each little <HI>Hutt</HI> being as full of <HI>Children,</HI> as a <HI>Conney-Burrough</HI> in a well &s;tock'd <HI>Warren</HI> is of Rabbits.</P>
<P>They &s;eldom have any <HI>Parti|tions</HI> or &s;everal Rooms, but &s;leep in common with their <HI>Swine</HI> and <HI>Poultrey:</HI> and for &s;econd or third <HI>Story</HI> you may look long enough e're you find any. <HI>Windows</HI> would di&s;cover their <HI>Poverty</HI> and <HI>Sluttery</HI> too much, and a <HI>Chimney</HI> is rec|koned as <HI>&s;uperfluous</HI> as a <HI>Steeple</HI> at a new fangled <HI>Conventicle:</HI> The <HI>Door</HI> which perhaps is as irregular and multiform as a new made <HI>breach</HI> in a <HI>Wall,</HI> &s;erving both to let in the <HI>Light,</HI> and let out the <HI>Smoak;</HI> &s;o that you may gue&s;s their abodes are plea&s;ant and airy as a <HI>Dungeon,</HI> and unle&s;s they be compared to one another, each of them may very properly be called <HI>None-&s;uch.</HI></P>
<PB N="14" REF="10">
<P>Their <HI>Women</HI> generally are very little beholding to Nature for their <HI>Beauty,</HI> and le&s;s to <HI>Art:</HI> one may &s;afely Swear they u&s;e no Painting, or &s;uch like <HI>auxiliary</HI> aids of <HI>Fu|cu&s;&s;es,</HI> being &s;o aver&s;e to that kind of Curio&s;ity, (tho' they have as much need thereof as any I ever yet beheld) that one would think they never had their faces <HI>wa&s;h</HI>'d but at their <HI>Bapti&s;m.</HI> To whom the per|petual <HI>Smoak</HI> within Doors, and want of a <HI>Bon-grace</HI> without, does add &s;uch a tincture of Complexion, that a Ploughman's Sun-burnt <HI>hand,</HI> or a Seaman's weather-beaten <HI>face,</HI> is <HI>Snow</HI> and <HI>Cream</HI> to it: So that one need not fear much tempta|tion, they being, indeed, meer <HI>Scarr-Crows,</HI> and their <HI>Phi&s;iogno|mies</HI> &s;uch a defence, &s;uch a &s;pell for their <HI>Plackets,</HI> &s;uch a refrige|ratory 'gain&s;t the flames of <HI>Lu&s;t,</HI> that in the <HI>Day-light</HI> they are &s;e|cure from any violent attempt upon their <HI>Cha&s;tity,</HI> though in the <HI>Night</HI>
<PB N="15" REF="10"> they may pa&s;s <HI>Mu&s;ter,</HI> and the pu&s;h of <HI>Pike,</HI> when <HI>Joan</HI> is as good as my <HI>Lady.</HI></P>
<Q><L>Non&s;ence, <HI>their</HI> Conver&s;e; <HI>kindne&s;s,</HI> Treachery;</L>
<L>Red <HI>hair,</HI> and Louzine&s;s, <HI>their</HI> Letchery.</L></Q>
<P>Their <HI>Bodies</HI> are of a tollerable proportion, and to be born withal, but then are they mounted on &s;uch mi&s;hapen <HI>Tru&s;&s;els</HI> or <HI>Supporters,</HI> that whenever any Man de&s;ires to try the Plea&s;ure of their <HI>Embraces,</HI> he will be &s;ure (as a witty Gentleman ob&s;er|ved) to lay their <HI>Legs a&s;ide.</HI> Their <HI>Brea&s;ts</HI> are excepted again&s;t by &s;ome, for being of the &s;ame &s;ize with their <HI>Buttocks:</HI> and their <HI>Hands</HI> are &s;o tann'd leather'd, that <HI>Gloves</HI> were but thrown away upon them.</P>
<P><HI>Amorous</HI> they are as <HI>Doves,</HI> but not altogether &s;o cha&s;t as <HI>Turtles,</HI> de&s;iring as much to be <HI>billing,</HI> and very frequently bringing forth
<PB N="16" REF="11"> <HI>Twins,</HI> as the others hatch young ones by <HI>Pairs.</HI> There needs no great Ceremony or <HI>Court&s;hip,</HI> for if they yield not at fir&s;t <HI>Summons</HI> up|on <HI>Compo&s;ition,</HI> a &s;light <HI>attack</HI> wins the <HI>Fortre&s;s,</HI> and one may &s;oon <HI>enter.</HI> The&s;e old <HI>Texts</HI> being <HI>Or|thodox</HI> among&s;t them, <HI>Touch and take, Laugh and lye down, Up and ride,</HI> and &s;o to the end of the <HI>Chapter.</HI></P>
<P>It is affirmed by &s;ome, that of late, they did begin to drive this Trade for <HI>Profit,</HI> as well as <HI>Plea&s;ure,</HI> and were grown &s;o <HI>wary</HI> in their Bargains, that (like their own Coun|try <HI>Kine</HI>) they would not give down one drop of their <HI>Kindne&s;s</HI> till they &s;aw their <HI>Golden Calf</HI> with|in their reach. But on a de&s;ign of <HI>Marriage</HI> they are le&s;s <HI>&s;crupulous</HI> or cautious, and &s;o far from &s;elling a <HI>Pig</HI> in a <HI>Poke,</HI> that it is not un|u&s;ual for the <HI>Man</HI> to mount the <HI>Bea&s;t,</HI> before he <HI>binds</HI> the <HI>Bargain;</HI> &s;o that 'tis no &s;trange thing among&s;t
<PB N="17" REF="11"> them, to make a <HI>Maid</HI> a <HI>Whore fir&s;t,</HI> and then to make that <HI>Whore</HI> his <HI>Wife</HI> afterwards; like a <HI>Sloven</HI> that fir&s;t makes a <HI>Clo&s;e-&s;tool</HI> of his own <HI>Hat,</HI> and then claps it upon his own <HI>Head.</HI> Thus rather than want <HI>Horns,</HI> they will have &s;ome of their own <HI>graffing,</HI> antidating them&s;elves <HI>Cuckolds;</HI> and having taught their <HI>Wives</HI> this Le&s;&s;on &s;o <HI>early,</HI> who can wonder if they pra|cti&s;e it afterwards, a <HI>new Cask</HI> &s;till retains a touch of its fir&s;t <HI>Sea&s;oning,</HI> and when once &s;uch young <HI>Colts</HI> find the <HI>Gap</HI> of <HI>Liberty</HI> &s;et open, they will <HI>frisk</HI> out of the Bounds of all <HI>Mode&s;ty,</HI> and never leave running till they have brought their Husbands to <HI>Cockolds-Point.</HI></P>
<P>The <HI>Men,</HI> as <HI>Birds</HI> of the &s;ame <HI>Ne&s;t</HI> and <HI>Feather,</HI> differ only in the <HI>Sex,</HI> not in their good <HI>Humour</HI> and <HI>Conditions.</HI> Withall, they are held to be in &s;ome mea&s;ure more <HI>Crafty</HI> than might be expected; but not <HI>Prudent,</HI> nor <HI>Hone&s;t; Credulous</HI> and
<PB N="18" REF="12"> <HI>light of belief, treacherous, &s;harking,</HI> and <HI>great Li&s;t'ners after News,</HI> which may be imputed to their long un&s;ettled <HI>Government,</HI> fearing always &s;ome <HI>Innovation,</HI> and emi|nent Change and Danger.</P>
<P>Notorious <HI>Thieves</HI> they are, and very Skilful at <HI>Leger-de-main,</HI> for which Trade both <HI>Nature</HI> and <HI>For|tune</HI> &s;eem to have fitted them; For as they are mi&s;erably <HI>Poor,</HI> &s;o they are more Impudent than a <HI>Court-Page,</HI> or an Italian <HI>Curtezan,</HI> and have made it a common Practice to enter into any Hou&s;e without the <HI>Civility</HI> of craving leave, or knocking at the <HI>Door;</HI> and being once in, they have no creaking <HI>Shoes</HI> to betray them, but either they wear <HI>Broags,</HI> a kind of thin <HI>Pumps,</HI> or el&s;e make &s;o bold with <HI>Nature</HI> as to u&s;e their <HI>bare feet:</HI> If they &s;py any portable <HI>Prize,</HI> their Hands are like <HI>Lime-twigs,</HI> and the <HI>Prey</HI> &s;hall hardly e&s;cape them; nor are they ever unprovi|ded
<PB N="19" REF="12"> of a <HI>Cloak</HI> or <HI>Mantle</HI> (large as a <HI>Je&s;uite's Con&s;cience</HI>) to &s;pread over their <HI>Knavery;</HI> And la&s;tly, for Agility and <HI>&s;wiftne&s;s</HI> of retreat, they may compare with <HI>Mercury</HI> him&s;elf, being ever in a running Po&s;ture, and always &s;etting the be&s;t <HI>foot</HI> foremo&s;t.</P>
<P>Surely, of all People they are the lea&s;t troubled with <HI>Corns</HI> upon their <HI>Toes,</HI> they walk &s;o &s;oundly; but among&s;t a thou&s;and of their <HI>Hands,</HI> I do not think one Finger could be pickt out that were not tainted with an <HI>Itch</HI> after unlawful <HI>Gain,</HI> or infected with a <HI>Felon:</HI> for &s;o much &s;weetne&s;s do they fancy in the reli&s;h of <HI>Stolen-Goods,</HI> that they have little <HI>gu&s;to</HI> for any o|ther.</P>
<P>It is an u&s;ual Saying, That <HI>a good Face needs no Band, and a bad one de&s;erves none;</HI> which may be a rea&s;on why the&s;e are &s;o ill <HI>accou|tred</HI> and negligent in their <HI>Appa|rel;</HI> tho' if the extreme Poverty of
<PB N="20" REF="13"> the generality be con&s;ider'd (which yet proceeds from their own &s;loath, their Condition being much like <HI>Job</HI>'s upon the <HI>Dunghil</HI>) we &s;hall find more cau&s;e to <HI>pity,</HI> than won|der at them. Once a Year, per|haps, their <HI>Stock</HI> may &s;well to the purcha&s;e of a <HI>frieze</HI> Garment of a <HI>brace of Two-pences the bandle;</HI> higher it can hardly reach, what|ever their Ambition prompt them to: a <HI>coar&s;e</HI> out-&s;ide, indeed, yet mo&s;t think it &s;uteable enough to the <HI>lining</HI> within, for a <HI>Loam Wall</HI> de&s;erves but a mean <HI>Hanging.</HI></P>
<P>The <HI>Females</HI> have a Head At|tire which they call <HI>Kerchers:</HI> a|mong&s;t the better Sort it is made of <HI>Linnen,</HI> but &s;eldom &s;o white as a Dutch-man's <HI>Sail:</HI> whil&s;t the common <HI>Trulls</HI> cannot po&s;&s;ibly be any thing, but an old <HI>Rag</HI> turned out of other Service, or the flappet of a Month worn <HI>Smock</HI> reprieved from the <HI>Wa&s;h-bowl;</HI> and yet, as one &s;aid of the like <HI>Sluttery,</HI> the
<PB N="21" REF="13"> poor remnant looks as <HI>briskly</HI> as if it were promi&s;ed for the next whole quarter to &s;cape many a <HI>&s;cowring.</HI></P>
<P><HI>Fle&s;h-bags</HI> they may, &s;ome of them, have for the <HI>Day,</HI> but at <HI>Night</HI> they ever <HI>unca&s;e</HI> them&s;elves and <HI>ligg</HI> in the <HI>woollen,</HI> if their <HI>Wits</HI> can <HI>gather</HI> enough to cover them, otherwi&s;e they nu&s;tle toge|ther in <HI>Litter</HI> with the <HI>Sow</HI> and <HI>Pigs,</HI> being all of a <HI>Family:</HI> But their <HI>Smocks</HI> cannot properly be called <HI>Changes,</HI> for they &s;eldom al|low them&s;elves more than <HI>one,</HI> till that be worn out, which is u&s;ed till it be fit to be torn off their Backs for <HI>touch</HI> to light <HI>Tobacco</HI> as they &s;it in the <HI>Fields,</HI> as I have &s;een them do. Thus the <HI>Smock</HI> is at la&s;t turned into <HI>Smoak,</HI> having fir&s;t &s;truck fire in the <HI>Devil's Tinder-box</HI> the <HI>Tobacco-Pipe,</HI> which one wit|tily compares to the Pa&s;&s;ion of <HI>Love,</HI> thus:
<Q><PB N="22" REF="14">
<L>So fares it with an Amorous De|&s;ire;</L>
<L>The more 'tis ki&s;s'd, the more 'tis &s;et on fire.</L></Q></P>
<P><HI>Dancing</HI> is much in reque&s;t a|mong&s;t them, after their rude way, which is much like the <HI>Drunken Bacchanals</HI> of old: Their chief De|light is called the <HI>Trott,</HI> and it is not named improperly, for not on|ly <HI>Banks</HI>'s Hor&s;e was an ab&s;olute <HI>Mon&s;ieur</HI> to them; and the heavie&s;t <HI>Mare</HI> that ever trotted Man's Dag|ger out of its Sheath, went more regular and &s;moothly, but it hath likewi&s;e &s;o many <HI>Hor&s;e-tricks</HI> in it, that 'tis much &s;itter for the <HI>Stable,</HI> than any decent <HI>Hall,</HI> or <HI>Dining-Room.</HI></P>
<P>The <HI>Jews Trump</HI> is their com|mon <HI>Mu&s;ick,</HI> to who&s;e Melody they will <HI>hobble</HI> till the <HI>labour</HI> makes them &s;end forth a <HI>Haut-gou&s;t</HI> as little plea&s;ing as their <HI>Tunes:</HI> but
<PB N="23" REF="14"> if they can attain to a <HI>Harp</HI> or <HI>Bag-Pipe,</HI> O then they will Dance out of all <HI>Mea&s;ure!</HI> add to this their Tatter-demallion <HI>Dre&s;s,</HI> and no <HI>An|tima&s;que of Rag-a-Muffians</HI> was ever like them: Their <HI>Petticoats,</HI> if any, are of as many &s;everal Colours as a Tailor's fundamental <HI>Cu&s;hion;</HI> to which the <HI>Wa&s;tcoat</HI> is the fitte&s;t match that can be, and cro&s;s their Shoulders a Linnen <HI>&s;hroud</HI> of the &s;ame hue of a Winding <HI>&s;heet</HI> after &s;ome Years burial. <HI>Shoes</HI> are above their Price, neither are <HI>Broags</HI> a Purcha&s;e for every one; No, they &s;tand more upon their Feet than &s;o, and for <HI>Stockings</HI> they have a very cheap and durable Mode, one Pair la&s;ting their whole Pilgrimage, and tho&s;e no other than of <HI>Nature's knitting,</HI> which &s;it clo&s;e, and &s;o tite, it &s;aves the labour of <HI>Gart'ring;</HI> having no great fault, but their too much <HI>Calf.</HI></P>
<P><HI>Complements</HI> are as &s;eldom u&s;ed among&s;t them, as the <HI>Common-Prayers</HI>
<PB N="24" REF="15"> among&s;t the <HI>Non-Con;</HI> you might as &s;oon teach an <HI>Elephant</HI> to cut a <HI>Caper,</HI> as bring one of them to make a hand&s;om <HI>Leg:</HI> Such <HI>Block-heads</HI> have they, that 'tis a trouble to them to pull off their <HI>Hats;</HI> which done, &s;hall be &s;econ+ded with a Speech containing le&s;s <HI>&s;ence</HI> and <HI>rea&s;on</HI> than that of <HI>Ba|laam</HI>'s <HI>A&s;s;</HI> and to be &s;ure mu&s;t either be <HI>u&s;her'd</HI> in, or out, with a <HI>By Chree&s;ht</HI> and St. <HI>Patrick,</HI> or an <HI>Elegant-Cur&s;e,</HI> or two: But for this Non&s;ence perhaps their <HI>Nur&s;es</HI> are to be condemn'd, who (e&s;pe|cially in <HI>Ul&s;ter</HI>) when they <HI>&s;uckle</HI> their young <HI>Babes,</HI> if they chance to have a <HI>Cold</HI> in their <HI>Heads,</HI> &s;el|dom or never <HI>wipe</HI> their <HI>No&s;es,</HI> but <HI>&s;uck</HI> them with their Mouths &s;o <HI>hard,</HI> that, as one ob&s;erved, 'tis very probable that they <HI>&s;uck</HI> out all their <HI>Brains,</HI> and leave them for ever after empty Skull'd. <HI>I wonder,</HI> &s;aid one, to an Iri&s;hman, <HI>that being Thirty Years of Age, and having
<PB N="25" REF="15"> travel'd through the be&s;t Part of the World, you &s;hould be &s;o great a Fool &s;till. That's no wonder,</HI> re|plies another. <HI>But the greater won|der is, that there &s;hould be a whole Kingdom of &s;uch Fools.</HI></P>
<P><HI>Shirts</HI> are no le&s;s out of date among&s;t the <HI>Teagues</HI> than <HI>Surplices</HI> with the <HI>Di&s;&s;enters;</HI> &s;o that one may gue&s;s what poor <HI>&s;hift</HI> they make to keep their Bodies <HI>&s;weet:</HI> and may not this be one rea&s;on why they &s;o much dread to hear one break wind at the <HI>Po&s;tern?</HI> The intolerable &s;u&s;tine&s;s that mu&s;t needs lye lurking in their unlined <HI>Breeches,</HI> adding a &s;tench beyond the <HI>Devil's Poman|der:</HI> otherwi&s;e they do not appear &s;o over-nice and curious, nor would they contradict the <HI>Proverb,</HI> That <HI>Every mans Tayl &s;mells &s;weet in his own No&s;e:</HI> Neither would they let <HI>fly</HI> &s;o often <HI>above-board,</HI> for they will <HI>belch</HI> as loud as <HI>Pot-guns,</HI> and as often as a <HI>Lover</HI> in ab&s;ence breathes his amorous <HI>Sighs:</HI> But
<PB N="26" REF="16"> add to the re&s;t the &s;traitne&s;s of their Breeches, called <HI>Trow&s;es,</HI> which &s;it as clo&s;e as a Jealous Wife to her Husband's <HI>Tayl,</HI> and you need not wonder at their backward <HI>Mode&s;ty.</HI></P>
<P>Some count them naturally <HI>ho&s;pi|table,</HI> but if they are &s;o, it is after &s;uch an ill-favour'd manner, that 'tis like the giving an <HI>Alms</HI> in a <HI>na&s;ty Clout,</HI> which <HI>Nece&s;&s;ity</HI> may make welcom, but the greate&s;t <HI>Charity</HI> cannot account <HI>Decent.</HI></P>
<P><HI>Bonny-Clabber</HI> and <HI>Mulahaan,</HI> alias <HI>Sowre Milk,</HI> and <HI>Choak-Chee&s;e,</HI> with a Di&s;h of <HI>Potatoes</HI> boiled, is the general Entertainment, to which add an <HI>Oat-cake,</HI> and it compleats their <HI>Bill of Fare,</HI> unle&s;s they in|tend to &s;hew their exce&s;&s;ive Prodi|gality, and tempt your Appetite with a Dozen of <HI>Eggs</HI> extraordinary, which many times, in&s;tead of being new-laid, prove like over-ridden Wenches, either <HI>rotten,</HI> or el&s;e ha|ving a young <HI>Chick</HI> in the belly of 'em. After this, comes <HI>Tobacco;</HI>
<PB N="27" REF="16"> which you mu&s;t either take in Smoak, or Snuff, if you will be good Company, while they &s;it chewing it with as much eagerne&s;s and de&s;ire, as the longing great-bellied Woman did bite at the fat Man's Breech. And for a clo&s;e to all this Treat <HI>(a la Grandezza)</HI> the Mi&s;tre&s;s &s;hall produce her <HI>Moor|naun</HI> of <HI>&s;owre Milk,</HI> and having &s;tript up her &s;leeve to the Shoulder, &s;he thru&s;ts up to the Arm-pits, and &s;tirring the Curds at the bottom with her Hands&punc; &s;he then pre&s;ents you with the Liquor, and if you like it, you may fill your Belly with her kindne&s;s till you are &s;atisfied.</P>
<P>I have heard it affirmed al&s;o, by knowing Per&s;ons in this Country, that in &s;ome Parts of it, they have a way of making a <HI>Soupe,</HI> beyond all the <HI>French Pottages</HI> in <HI>Vogue;</HI> the way is thus, A <HI>Dame</HI> of the better &s;ort, having had the good Fortune to boil a piece of very fat <HI>Pork,</HI> till a great part of it is run
<PB N="28" REF="17"> into an <HI>Oil</HI> &s;wimming on the top, &s;he &s;trips off her <HI>Smock,</HI> dips it therein till it has &s;oaked up all the Grea&s;e; then puts it on her Body, and &s;o wears it &s;ome days to <HI>&s;moo|then</HI> her <HI>Skin,</HI> and &s;upple her <HI>Joints;</HI> now if afterwards there be occa&s;ion, and no &s;tore of other Pro|vi&s;ion about the <HI>Cabban,</HI> off comes this <HI>anointed</HI> Garment agen, which being boiled in clear Water, and a little <HI>Oatmeal,</HI> and a &s;mall <HI>Faggot</HI> of Herbs; the melted Fat, and tho&s;e other Ingredients will be con|verted into a mo&s;t &s;avoury Me&s;s of <HI>Iri&s;h-Smock-broath,</HI> and then 'tis done in a <HI>Di&s;h.</HI></P>
<P>Sure, they learned this in &s;ome Be&s;ieged City, like <HI>San&s;erre,</HI> or <HI>London-Derry,</HI> near &s;tarved, where like the Parboil'd <HI>Shoes</HI> and <HI>Hydes,</HI> it might afford &s;ome <HI>reli&s;h,</HI> but they that can dige&s;t this abomina|ble <HI>Sluttery,</HI> not provoked or &s;harp|ned by <HI>Famine,</HI> need never &s;tay their Stomachs till the Skie falls, for
<PB N="29" REF="17"> &s;uch Dainties, as a Di&s;h of <HI>Larks.</HI> Sure, where the <HI>Devil</HI> &s;ent the&s;e <HI>Cooks,</HI> he mu&s;t al&s;o &s;end them <HI>Cu|&s;tomers,</HI> or they may eat it all them&s;elves.</P>
<P>But let me not forget their <HI>But|ter,</HI> made up with &s;o much filth and <HI>Hair,</HI> it looks like the <HI>Lime</HI> we prepare to Plai&s;ter our <HI>Walls</HI> withal, which being beaten up into as rude a &s;hape as a Spani&s;h Piece of <HI>Eight,</HI> if eaten without Sindging, or not melted and &s;trained, you &s;hall run as great hazard, as one that would &s;wallow the <HI>Burr</HI> of an over-grown <HI>Artichoke</HI> without But|ter, or a pickled Rope without <HI>Sauce:</HI> Hence one may ea&s;ily gue&s;s the difference betwixt this and the Dutch <HI>Butter-box,</HI> the one cutting like Spani&s;h <HI>Marmalad,</HI> the other like untried <HI>Kitchin-&s;tuff,</HI> and ha|ving as rank an odour as a Car|riers Summer trotters. If they had the Wit to put the Hair in one Di&s;h and the Butter in another a|part:
<PB N="30" REF="18"> it might be in a Man's choice to take or leave as he plea&s;ed; but they are &s;o order'd, you mu&s;t eat both or none.</P>
<P>And that their <HI>Bread</HI> may be &s;uitable to their <HI>Butter,</HI> and &s;o &s;tick the clo&s;er together, the Women grind their Corn on a Stone pla|ced betwixt their naked Thighs upon the Ground (in the very &s;ame po&s;ture as they Churn their Cream) Their <HI>Mills</HI> having this Advantage over others, that they are equally &s;upplied both with <HI>Wind</HI> and <HI>Water</HI> at the &s;ame in|&s;tant.</P>
<P><HI>Drinking</HI> is not &s;o much their Vice, as &s;ome of their Neighbour|ing Nations, unle&s;s their &s;o ex|ce&s;&s;ive <HI>Smoaking</HI> be reckoned in, to which both the <HI>Men</HI> and <HI>Women</HI> are &s;o generally addicted; yea, the very <HI>Children</HI> too, that an <HI>Infant</HI> of their breeding, &s;hall take more delight in handling a <HI>Tobacco-Pipe</HI> than a <HI>Rattle,</HI> and will &s;ooner
<PB N="31" REF="18"> learn to make u&s;e of it, than ano|ther &s;hall of it's <HI>Sucking-bottle.</HI> Sure|ly, this <HI>Indian</HI> Weed is a very <HI>Witch,</HI> and they have this re&s;em|blance, that both of them are very ma&s;ty and ugly.</P>
<P>The Liquor they palate be&s;t, when they venture at a Debauch, is <HI>U&s;quebaugh,</HI> a kind of exceeding &s;trong <HI>Aqua-vitae,</HI> which though e&s;teemed as Liquor of <HI>Life,</HI> yet it does &s;ometimes leave them <HI>Dead Drunk</HI> upon the <HI>Spot.</HI></P>
<P>In their <HI>Sow&s;e</HI> they are petti&s;h and <HI>haughty,</HI> but not <HI>&s;tout;</HI> for I have &s;een one re&s;olute Stranger make a whole <HI>Bevy</HI> of them, lick up the foul Language they had vo|mited in his pre&s;ence, and by draw|ing a little Blood from one, all the re&s;t have been fainting; which &s;hews that the Potion heats only their <HI>Brain</HI> and <HI>Tongue,</HI> but leaves the <HI>Heart</HI> cold as before, and does them this Prejudice, that it brings them many times <HI>into</HI> a <HI>Scuffle,</HI>
<PB N="32" REF="19"> but cannot bring them out agen with any credit, or honour.</P>
<P>For daring <HI>Valour,</HI> or true heat of Courage was never yet the Crime laid to their charge. And though <HI>Wars</HI> has often been given to them; yet I wonder when it was that they were &s;o given to <HI>War</HI> as <HI>Solinus</HI> affirms, that the <HI>Mother</HI> at the Birth of a <HI>Son,</HI> gave the Child the fir&s;t piece of Fle&s;h it ever ta&s;ted upon the point of her Husband's <HI>Sword,</HI> u&s;ing many &s;tout Impreca|tions, wi&s;hing that it might live and die no otherwi&s;e than by the <HI>Sword.</HI> But &s;ince, it &s;eems, that <HI>Sword</HI> by the Iron teeth of <HI>Time,</HI> has been eaten away into a <HI>Skeyne</HI> only, like that of Captain <HI>Be&s;&s;us</HI> into a <HI>Dagger:</HI> for take them all along both in the time of <HI>Oliver,</HI> and the&s;e pre&s;ent Combu&s;tions, and you will find that never Men &s;neak'd them&s;elves &s;o unworthily out of their Intere&s;ts as they have done, witne&s;s the late Siege of <HI>London-derry,</HI>
<PB N="33" REF="19"> where a &s;mall <HI>Town,</HI> a Gar|ri&s;on of <HI>unexperienced</HI> and <HI>unprovi|ded</HI> People; a <HI>Gown-man</HI> for their <HI>Governor,</HI> with&s;tood the whole force of their <HI>Royal</HI>-Army, headed by old foreign <HI>Generals:</HI> who notwith|&s;tanding their <HI>regular</HI> Approaches, their <HI>threatning Bombs,</HI> and all o|ther Arts of <HI>Military</HI> Stratagems, were at length forced to retire, and would have fain &s;huffled all away, if tho&s;e of <HI>Inniskilling</HI> had not &s;o rudely &s;aluted and &s;topt many of them, <HI>en pa&s;&s;ant,</HI> which the <HI>Mon|&s;ieurs</HI> of their Party think to be &s;o very uncivil towards tho&s;e that had been &s;ent &s;o far to give them a <HI>vi|&s;it,</HI> that it's believed, if ever any of them can recover their own <HI>Country</HI> again, they will hardly return into <HI>Ireland;</HI> &s;ince they un|der&s;tand Complement no better, or u&s;e &s;uch rugged Ceremonies to tho&s;e that have been bred more <HI>Courtier-like.</HI> So that if we con&s;ider the meer <HI>Iri&s;h,</HI> it &s;eems the&s;e poor Da|&s;tards
<PB N="34" REF="20"> have not &s;o much as the very ruins of Valour left in them, to reach forth to Po&s;terity any &s;ign that they are the lawful De&s;cen|dants of tho&s;e <HI>valiant</HI> Ance&s;tors, and courageous <HI>Amazons</HI> mention|ed by <HI>Solinus.</HI></P>
<P>It is an Iri&s;h Ob&s;ervation <HI>(and a notable one to)</HI> that whenever two Armies meet in <HI>Battle,</HI> the one mu&s;t <HI>run,</HI> for both cannot <HI>conquer,</HI> and &s;ince one mu&s;t give <HI>way,</HI> why not at the <HI>beginning</HI> before much Blood&s;hed, rather than after too many lives are <HI>lo&s;t;</HI> and &s;ince one of them mu&s;t, or generally does <HI>run,</HI> who fitter to <HI>run</HI> than they whom Nature has provided with better <HI>Legs</HI> to <HI>run,</HI> than <HI>Hands</HI> or <HI>Hearts</HI> to <HI>fight;</HI> therefore they commonly do <HI>run,</HI> and <HI>run</HI> be|times, le&s;t &s;ome Wound in their Legs &s;hould hinder their <HI>nimble</HI> Retreat: This made an old expe|rienc'd <HI>Officer</HI> (who knew the way of the rea&s;oning of the&s;e Bruits)
<PB N="35" REF="20"> cau&s;e &s;ome <HI>Regiments</HI> of <HI>Dragoons</HI> to march on foot up towards their more numerous Army, with <HI>Boots</HI> on, whom when the <HI>Iri&s;h</HI> beheld, they &s;traightway concluded that tho&s;e <HI>Engli&s;h</HI> men being booted, <HI>would</HI> not, or <HI>could</HI> not <HI>run,</HI> and &s;ince one Party mu&s;t go off at la&s;t, it mu&s;t needs be them&s;elves, and therefore they di&s;creetly ran all away immediately.</P>
<P>Or if ever they do fight, they do it more courageou&s;ly upon any other <HI>Turf,</HI> than their own; for there, as above&s;aid, their <HI>Heels</HI> do ever do them more Service than their <HI>Hands</HI> (which profe&s;s them|&s;elves utter Enemies of all Indu&s;try) and if they recover a <HI>Bog,</HI> St. <HI>Pa|trick</HI> then hugs them in the <HI>bo&s;om</HI> of his <HI>&s;afe&s;t</HI> Protection.</P>
<P><HI>Bloody</HI> they are when they can o'repower, and do it &s;ecurely, and this is an Effect of their ba&s;e <HI>Cow|ardi&s;e,</HI> (for <HI>that</HI> and <HI>Pride</HI> and <HI>Cruelty</HI> are <HI>Curs</HI> of the &s;ame <HI>Litter</HI>)
<PB N="36" REF="21"> witne&s;s their execrable <HI>Butcheries</HI> and <HI>Ma&s;&s;acres</HI> of our poor unwary and unarmed <HI>Country-folks,</HI> their Burning and De&s;troying of Towns, which hath lain upon them &s;o hea|vy ever &s;ince, that what <HI>Cau&s;e</HI> &s;o|ever they manage, hath but ill <HI>&s;uc|ce&s;s,</HI> and what <HI>Friends</HI> &s;oever en|gages for them, have and &s;hall &s;till &s;uffer the more <HI>deeply</HI> for being on that <HI>&s;ide.</HI></P>
<P>A <HI>Stiff-necked</HI> Generation they cannot be called, they lay them down &s;o readily to every <HI>Yoak,</HI> as if they were born to <HI>Servitude,</HI> and &s;o we find them inclined to have been indifferently under their own <HI>Countrymen,</HI> or under their <HI>old</HI> Friends the <HI>Spaniards</HI> in <HI>former</HI> times, and their new <HI>Friends</HI> the <HI>French</HI> at pre&s;ent, if the <HI>Engli&s;h</HI> &s;hould not prevent it. Therefore are they the le&s;s to be <HI>pitied,</HI> be|cau&s;e by them there is no greater Liberty <HI>expected,</HI> or much de&s;ired and &s;truggled for by them.</P>
<PB N="37" REF="21">
<P>Some <HI>few Places</HI> they have which may be of good Strength, but tho&s;e general Buildings they call <HI>Ca&s;tles,</HI> wherein &s;ome better &s;ort of <HI>Teagues</HI> do dwell, are indeed no other than meer <HI>Pri&s;ons,</HI> where every Apart|ment is but a different <HI>Dungeon;</HI> and though they were intended for places of <HI>Defence,</HI> not for Plea&s;ure, or <HI>Oeconomical</HI> convenience; yet whoever &s;urveys them with a skil|ful Eye, does meet with &s;uch &s;trange Irregularities and Tran&s;gre&s;&s;ions a|gain&s;t both the Ancient and Mo|dern Rules of Fortification, as will &s;oon make him conclude it was their great <HI>Fear</HI> and little <HI>Wit,</HI> or Judg|ment, that was chief <HI>Ingenier;</HI> &s;o that they may more properly be called <HI>Block-hou&s;es,</HI> in honour of tho&s;e <HI>Dull-heads</HI> that Founded them.</P>
<P>And as they &s;hewed but little In|genuity in their contrivance that rai&s;ed them; &s;o their <HI>Heirs</HI> have hitherto (and I believe will here|after)
<PB N="38" REF="22"> &s;hew le&s;s <HI>Courage</HI> in <HI>Defend|ing</HI> them, who though they may have <HI>lofty Towers,</HI> yet having but <HI>groveling Spirits,</HI> tho' they have <HI>&s;trong Walls,</HI> yet having but <HI>weak Hearts,</HI> tho' they have <HI>Care</HI> and <HI>Fear</HI> enough to Man a <HI>Fort;</HI> (which are &s;aid to be the mo&s;t cir|cum&s;pect and wary <HI>Sentinels</HI>) yet having &s;o little brave <HI>Re&s;olution</HI> to back them withal, they will &s;carce prove &s;o good a <HI>Guard</HI> as the <HI>Gee&s;e</HI> were to the <HI>Capitol,</HI> for they are &s;aid to have pre&s;erved that place, whereas the&s;e have often already, (and I dare affirm, will often here|after) <HI>&s;urrender</HI> and <HI>fly,</HI> at fir&s;t Summons, without &s;o much as <HI>hi&s;|&s;ing</HI> or <HI>gaggling.</HI></P>
<P>And as the&s;e <HI>Ca&s;tle-hou&s;es</HI> are but rough-hewn on the out&s;ide, &s;o are they yet more homely within, their general Furniture is &s;carce worth the mention, and &s;uch as have the be&s;t, do mar&s;hal it after &s;uch an indecent manner, that it lies in as
<PB N="39" REF="22"> great di&s;order as a <HI>Tavern</HI> after a Midnights <HI>revelling</HI> Debauch, or a <HI>Bawdy-hou&s;e</HI> after a <HI>fray.</HI></P>
<P>The middle &s;ort of People, had formerly many more of the&s;e &s;ort of <HI>Dens,</HI> but in the <HI>long Parliaments</HI> time an infinite number were de|&s;troyed, or &s;o defaced, they now look like the remnant of a <HI>London-Cu&s;tard,</HI> that has been a&s;&s;aulted at a City <HI>Fea&s;t,</HI> with much <HI>Valour</HI> and <HI>Stomach.</HI></P>
<P>I do not hereby de&s;ign any thing of the true <HI>Gentry,</HI> or <HI>Nobility,</HI> a|mong&s;t whom there are Per&s;ons of as great <HI>Valour,</HI> as fair <HI>E&s;tates,</HI> as good <HI>Literature</HI> and <HI>Breeding,</HI> and as <HI>Eminent</HI> Vertues as in any of the mo&s;t <HI>Polite</HI> Countries: And of the&s;e &s;ome have as Pompous Titles as any Men upon Earth, to wit, a Duke of <HI>Ormond,</HI> or the <HI>Golden World;</HI> Earl of <HI>Twomund,</HI> or <HI>two Worlds;</HI> and of <HI>De&s;mond,</HI> or <HI>ten Worlds,</HI> as if one World were too little for them: whil&s;t the Commons
<PB N="40" REF="23"> are contented with the meane&s;t Ti|tles, and lea&s;t Proportion that can be imagined of one poor dirty cor|ner of this World.</P>
<P>But to return to our fir&s;t <HI>Po&s;t:</HI> Their <HI>Language</HI> &s;eems to be very ancient, indeed, being almo&s;t worn quite out of <HI>Date,</HI> &s;carce known in any other Country, and not gene|rally u&s;ed in their own: To a Fo|reigner it &s;ounds &s;o unplea&s;ant, that it rather <HI>grates</HI> than <HI>tickles</HI> the <HI>Ear,</HI> and &s;eems fitter to <HI>conjure</HI> than con|ver&s;e in. Withal, they u&s;e &s;uch a <HI>whining</HI> tone, and &s;peak &s;o precipi|tately, that con&s;idering their Garb and Po&s;ture, you would think they had been newly &s;tript of their lit|tle All; and were now ha&s;tily and earne&s;tly craving your Relief and Charity for a fre&s;h Supply.</P>
<P>Nor are they more grave or de|mure in their <HI>Pace;</HI> but frisk it about the Streets, &s;o Po&s;t-hor&s;e like, as if a <HI>Bailiff</HI> pur&s;ued them, or &s;ome fiercer <HI>Devil</HI> drove them.</P>
<PB N="41" REF="23">
<P>Yet at their work they are on the other hand, &s;o <HI>&s;low</HI> and <HI>delibe|rate</HI> (Digging, Ploughing, Thra&s;h|ing, <HI>&amp;c.</HI> with their Cloaks upon their Backs, and wa&s;ting &s;o much of their time in <HI>Smoaking</HI> and <HI>Pra|ting</HI>) that it is u&s;ual to hire Four of the&s;e <HI>Lubbers</HI> to di&s;patch the &s;ame daily Proportion of Work, as is performed by one Indu&s;trious <HI>Engli&s;h-hind;</HI> which would be very chargeable, did they not humbly &s;ubmit to accept of much le&s;&s;er Wa|ges, which they take good care not to over-earn, le&s;t they &s;hould &s;urfeit them&s;elves, or wear out their pre|cious <HI>Limbs</HI> too &s;oon; and either want more Bu&s;ine&s;s, or the Strength to go thorow with it next day.</P>
<P>Some <HI>Hi&s;torians</HI> do &s;peak them to be very <HI>tender</HI> and careful of their <HI>Young</HI> ones: but wherein that tender|ne&s;scon&s;i&s;ts, is not readily to be found out. For their <HI>Food</HI> is not in the lea&s;t degree better than they allow their <HI>Pigs, Bonny-rowre</HI> for the Sum|mer,
<PB N="42" REF="24"> and <HI>Potato-roots</HI> in <HI>Winter</HI> are their choice&s;t Dainties: and then for their <HI>Cloathing,</HI> it is yet <HI>cour&s;er;</HI> of a whole <HI>Child</HI> the third part is &s;carce cover'd with <HI>Woollen;</HI> nor &s;o much <HI>Linnen</HI> to be &s;een among&s;t a whole <HI>Tribe</HI> as would make a <HI>Quakers</HI> falling-band, or furni&s;h an ordinary Box with <HI>Tinder,</HI> they being for the mo&s;t part as naked as a young <HI>Ladies</HI> Neck in the <HI>Dog|days,</HI> or the <HI>Bird</HI> in the Fable &s;tript of its borrowed Plumes; &s;o that unle&s;s their <HI>Api&s;h</HI> hugging them in their Arms, or carrying them on their <HI>Backs</HI> can make it out, I can|not.</P>
<P>And when they are grown up, their <HI>Education</HI> is &s;uitable to the re&s;t of their Care: For I have known ma|ny other People take more pains to reach a <HI>Parrot,</HI> or to train a <HI>Spaniel,</HI> than they do to in&s;truct their <HI>Chil|dren,</HI> and perhaps have brought them to more dexterity of Under|&s;tanding, and Ingenuity: <HI>Writing</HI>
<PB N="43" REF="24"> is a rarity, and <HI>Reading</HI> would be utterly laid a&s;ide, were it not of great and important con&s;equence when they are allowed the Benefit of their <HI>Clergy</HI> in a <HI>Neck-ver&s;e.</HI> And how much the want of <HI>Educa|tion</HI> &s;ets them beneath a Learned and <HI>Polite</HI> People, may be found out in the fir&s;t Hours conver&s;ation with either of them.</P>
<P>But however carele&s;s they be of the <HI>Living,</HI> they are mightily con|cerned for the <HI>Dead,</HI> having a Cu|&s;tom, (which &s;ure they borrowed from the <HI>Egyptians</HI>) of <HI>howling</HI> when they carry any one to Burial, and <HI>&s;creaming</HI> over their <HI>Graves,</HI> not like other <HI>Chri&s;tians,</HI> but like People without <HI>Hope:</HI> and &s;ooner than this &s;hall be omitted, they do hire a whole <HI>Herd</HI> of the&s;e <HI>Croco|dils</HI> to accompany the <HI>Corps,</HI> who with their counterfeit <HI>Tears</HI> and <HI>Sighs,</HI> and confu&s;ed <HI>Clamour</HI> and Noi&s;e, do &s;eem heartily to bemoan the departed Friend, though all this
<PB N="44" REF="25"> is with no more concern and reali|ty, than an Actor on the Theatre for the feigned Death of his <HI>Deare&s;t</HI> in a <HI>Tragedy.</HI> In&s;tead of a <HI>Funeral Oration,</HI> they bawl out the&s;e or the like querulous Lamentations, <HI>O hone! O hone! Dear Joy, why did thou die and leave us? Had&s;t thou not Pigs and a Potato Garden? Had&s;t thou not &s;ome Sheep and a Cow, Mulahan and Oat-cake, and good U&s;quebaugh to comfort thy heart, and put Mirth upon thy Friends? Then, wherefore would&s;t thou leave this good World, and thy poor Wife and Children? O hone! O hone!</HI> with much more &s;uch &s;tuff; to all which, <HI>Dear Joy,</HI> lend|ing but a deaf Ear, &s;leeps on till <HI>Doome&s;day by St.</HI> Patrick, while home they go to <HI>Drink,</HI> and drown the pre&s;ent <HI>Sorrow;</HI> till the Melan|cholly fit comes upon them afre&s;h, and the <HI>Melodious Harp,</HI> or <HI>Bag-Pipe</HI> is out of the way, and then they re&s;ort to the <HI>Grave,</HI> and be|dew
<PB N="45" REF="25"> it with <HI>Tears as big as Turnips,</HI> repeating and howling their <HI>O hones</HI> with as much deep Sence and Sor|row as before.</P>
<P>They have many other extrava|gant Cu&s;toms daily practi&s;ed at their <HI>Weddings</HI> and <HI>Chri&s;tnings,</HI> all which would be worth de&s;cribing, did we know the <HI>Original</HI> In&s;titu|tion, and true Signification of them, but this they either conceal, or do not now well under&s;tand.</P>
<P>Having occa&s;ion once to go to a Country <HI>Town</HI> of no &s;mall note, I chanced to wander into the mid&s;t of the <HI>Market-place,</HI> yet could not find where the Town &s;tood; I &s;aw indeed, &s;everal heaps of Rubbi&s;h which look'd like <HI>Dunghills</HI> cover'd over with weather-beaten <HI>Straw,</HI> and imagin'd, they were, or might be Peopled with <HI>Swine,</HI> but could not po&s;&s;ibly gue&s;s them the Habita|tions of any <HI>Human Race,</HI> unle&s;s there &s;hould be extant a Generation of <HI>Pigmies;</HI> but upon inquiry and
<PB N="46" REF="26"> further &s;earch, the&s;e were the Dwel|lings of the <HI>Teaguelanders</HI> them|&s;elves, &s;o low, one would have ima|gined an <HI>Earthquake</HI> had unmerci|cifully &s;wallow'd the Buildings, all but the very <HI>Cook-lofts;</HI> the Policy being, as I after learned, to prevent any Enemy that &s;hould come to quarter upon them, and make <HI>Sta|bles</HI> for their <HI>Hor&s;es</HI> of their <HI>Dining-Rooms</HI> or <HI>Bed-Chambers,</HI> which now they defie them to do, unle&s;s the humble Bea&s;ts could creep in upon their <HI>knees,</HI> and &s;it down at their Mangers as them&s;elves are ever for|ced to do within Doors.</P>
<P>Some of their Chief <HI>Cities</HI> are tol|lerably good, but mo&s;t of them more Populous than Rich (<HI>Dublin</HI> excepted) for though they are thronged like <HI>Hives,</HI> yet being for the mo&s;t part <HI>Drones,</HI> they rather dimini&s;h than encrea&s;e their <HI>Stock;</HI> &s;o that were it not for the Indu&s;tri|ous <HI>Engli&s;h</HI> and Strangers among&s;t them, I am per&s;uaded in proce&s;s
<PB N="47" REF="26"> of time, they wou'd let it all run into its original wildne&s;s, and live either like Canibals upon one ano|ther; or like their Native Wolves, (from whom they are now but one degree removed in point of Indu&s;try and Humanity) upon the next Prey they could light on, tho' of their neare&s;t Blood, rather than take the lea&s;t hone&s;t pains to provide better for them&s;elves, or their wretched Progeny.</P>
<P>But certainly were more of our laborious Engli&s;h, or &s;ome of our Active and Indu&s;trious Neighbours planted there, and once in the quiet Po&s;&s;e&s;&s;ion of that I&s;land, they would &s;oon turn their Rags into Riches; their Corn and Cattle into Coyn, and make them more famous for their Plenty and Abundance, than they are now de&s;picable for their Want and Scarcity of Ca&s;h, and Courage.</P>
<P>One Privilege, indeed, they have to boa&s;t of above mo&s;t other Coun|tries;
<PB N="48" REF="27"> which is, that they are free from Venomous Creatures (as <HI>Eng|land</HI> is from Ravenous) which we may believe to be a Natural Anti|pathy, like that of the I&s;lands <HI>Cy|prus,</HI> and <HI>Guernzey;</HI> Tho' they will needs attribute it to their Miracle|monger St. <HI>Patrick,</HI> who, (as their Tradition goes) did one day Sum|mon them all together on the top of an high and large Hill, called <HI>Cruich Phadrick,</HI> or St. <HI>Patrick</HI>'s <HI>Mount;</HI> where having by irri&s;i&s;ti|ble Conjuration a&s;&s;embled them, he, by his powerful Invocation cal|led for Fire from Heaven, which came down, and con&s;umed them: To which part of the Legend, &s;ome have added (with as much proba|bility of truth) That the great Croud of Iri&s;h Witne&s;&s;es whom the good Saint had brought with him to &s;ee this feat, and bear te&s;timony of it, finding he had &s;o good inte|re&s;t and familiarity with God Al|mighty to obtain what he but asked
<PB N="49" REF="27"> for, de&s;ired him fortwith to make a &s;econd Petition, that Heaven would &s;end down a plentiful Shower of Gold and Silver to cure them of their Poverty, and make them as opulent as the riche&s;t Nations: But he angrily replied, That God would work no Miracles to gratifie their Covetou&s;ne&s;s; That he had already given them a large Country, which they were to Cultivate and Improve, and that their hone&s;t Labour would bring them in a &s;ufficient Stock of Wealth, <HI>&amp;c.</HI> and therefore if they were not enough &s;atisfied with this great Ble&s;&s;ing &s;o freely conferred, but continued to murmur, and tempt God too far, perhaps he might for their unthankfulne&s;s and &s;ordid De|&s;ires, turn it into a Cur&s;e again, to their perpetual Puni&s;hment. But they &s;till importuning him, he at la&s;t made a &s;econd E&s;&s;ay, not Pe|titioning for Gold or Silver, but that God would &s;end down what he knew to be fitte&s;t for that Genera|tion.
<PB N="50" REF="28"> Which word he no &s;ooner had pronounced, but there aro&s;e a great and furious Whirlwind, which blew and di&s;per&s;ed the A&s;hes of tho&s;e Poi&s;onous Creatures over all the whole Country, and the &s;ame being forthwith converted all into <HI>Lice,</HI> they have for ever &s;ince con|tinued a mo&s;t Na&s;ty and Lowzy Generation, and could never find a Cure, or remove this Epidemical, Egyptian Bo&s;om-plague, &s;o clo&s;e it yet &s;ticks to them.</P>
<P>A mo&s;t excellent Country it is for a young Traveller to be fir&s;t &s;ea&s;oned in, for let him but once ta&s;te of their Entertainment and U&s;age, and I dare undertake he &s;hall love all the re&s;t of the World much better ever after) (except <HI>Scot|land.</HI>)</P>
<P>A certain Portion of the County of <HI>Galloway</HI> is very well worth ob|&s;ervation; for in a con&s;iderable ex|tent thereof, Nature affords 'em neither Water enough to drown 'em,
<PB N="51" REF="28"> Wood enough to Hang 'em, nor Earth enough to Bury 'em; and yet 'tis very well Inhabited: Now what &s;ort of Creatures, unle&s;s a race of Spani&s;h Gennets, that are &s;aid to engender by the Wind, or a brood of Cameleons that feed upon Air, can &s;ub&s;i&s;t where three of the mo&s;t nece&s;&s;ary Elements are &s;o &s;carce, I leave <HI>Oedipus</HI> to judge.</P>
<P>Friendly they are in outward ap|pearance and Promi&s;es, and upon ordinary Occa&s;ions one may make u&s;e of them: But at a pinch, or time of extraordinary trial, if you lean too hard, they prove but bro|ken Reeds, and not only fail to &s;up|port, but often wound the hand that re&s;teth on their brittle Faith.</P>
<P>Of this they have given &s;o many eminent and recent Examples, that the whole World is witne&s;s of the Truth of the A&s;&s;ertion: For at the Battle of the <HI>Boyne,</HI> where our vi|ctorious Hero King <HI>William</HI> &s;et upon them under all the Circum&s;tances of
<PB N="52" REF="29"> Di&s;advantage, except his Matchle&s;s Courage; how ba&s;ely did they &s;neak away whil&s;t their foreign Friends made a tollerable (tho' &s;hort) re|&s;i&s;tance; and tho' they had Vowed by <HI>Cree&s;ht and by St.</HI> Patrick <HI>to &s;tand by them, and look their Enemies in the fauce, till Death was put upon them:</HI> yet they all upon a little firing turn'd tail in an in&s;tant, and di&s;appeared with &s;uch Agility, that Thou&s;ands of them &s;eemed to out|flee the very Shot that were &s;ent after them, and out-ran the nim|ble&s;t Hor&s;emen that pur&s;ued them; leaving their be&s;t Officers, and &s;uch as had any Valour, to make what retreat and &s;hift they could, without the lea&s;t regard or a&s;&s;i&s;tance on their part.</P>
<P>Since which, in all their Winter Skirmi&s;hes, their petit A&s;&s;aults upon Gentlemens Hou&s;es, their Rapperie Stratagems, and Bogg-Plots, they have &s;hewed &s;o much Cruelty, (where ever they could &s;urprize
<PB N="53" REF="29"> any unarmed Men, or Women and Children) and &s;o little Courage upon any &s;light re&s;i&s;tance, that it demon&s;trates them to be more bloo|dy than Tygers, and at the &s;ame time, more timerous than Hares: But there is now fair hopes the greate&s;t Crew of that cur&s;ed Gene|ration will be utterly extirpated, ei|ther by Martial-Law, which hath already Hanged them up as thick as Rabbits by Couples in a Poulte|rer's Shop, or Vermin in a Warren. Or by tran&s;planting them into &s;ome other Country &s;o far di&s;tant, that their very Name and Ignominious Memory may be lo&s;t to all the ci|vilized World.</P>
<P>A &s;econd mo&s;t remarkable in|&s;tance we gather from their Beha|viour at the Action of <HI>Athlone,</HI> (to omit <HI>Mullingar,</HI> &amp;c.) where in a Town mo&s;t regularly Fortified, well Provided, and fully Garri&s;on'd, an Army Encamped within &s;ight to Relieve and Support them, com|manded
<PB N="54" REF="30"> by a fierce and bloody French General (mo&s;t famous for his Hangman-like Exploits, and Butcherly Infamies) be&s;ides a dan|gerous Ford to be pa&s;&s;ed in the very teeth of their great and &s;mall Shot: Notwith&s;tanding all the&s;e Ob&s;tructions, a &s;mall Party of Eng|li&s;h Granadiers marching thorow the Water on foot, and following their brave Commanders with loud Shouts of Joy (as it were going on|ly in Triumph to the Breach they attacqued) they no &s;ooner &s;aw them &s;et foot on &s;hoar, and ca&s;t their Hand Granadoes into their Works, but they mode&s;tly withdrew, and as many as conveniently could, re|treated at the Iri&s;h rate from the other End of the Town towards the frenchified Camp, when meet|ing with &s;ome Detachments of Hor&s;e approaching to a&s;&s;i&s;t them, They told them they might &s;pare the la|bour, for the Enemy had forced their way in thorow <HI>Fire</HI> and <HI>Wa|ter,</HI>
<PB N="55" REF="30"> and would not be per&s;uaded to &s;tay their coming; therefore who could be &s;o fool-hardy, as to con|tend with, or oppo&s;e &s;uch de&s;perate and wilful Men; upon which they were convinced in it to be &s;afer to retire than advance, and &s;o turned back again to the Tune of a run|ning Jigg, not &s;taying for any word of Command, nor the Com|manders them&s;elves, whom they left to the Enemies mercy, according to the right <HI>Teagui&s;h Faith</HI> and <HI>Gallantry.</HI></P>
<P>Now what hopes the French De|vil of a <HI>St. Ruth</HI> could Build upon this boggy Foundation of Iri&s;h Magnanimity and Fidelity to their new King <HI>Lewis d'Or,</HI> is hard to gue&s;s, unle&s;s he believed that for his former noble Service in the Dragooning the Hereticks in <HI>France,</HI> with &s;o much Zeal for the Catho|lick Cau&s;e, he might be rewarded with the Crown of Romi&s;h Mar|tyrdom in <HI>Ireland,</HI> and admitted
<PB N="56" REF="31"> into the Popi&s;h Kalendar for his abetting of St. <HI>Patrick</HI>'s Quarrel. Tho' I wi&s;h he do not find it true that the Title and Denomination he bare of <HI>St. Ruth</HI> here, has by the weight of his horrid Crimes &s;unk him down to be dignified of Satan below, and Entred into the Mu&s;ter Roll of <HI>Pluto</HI>'s Black Guard of Dra|goons, as his highe&s;t Reward, and fitte&s;t for his blood-thir&s;ty Genius.</P>
<P>It is reported of the Germans, and &s;ome other war-like People, that when they come within &s;ight and hearing of the Enemy, being drawn up in Battalia, and almo&s;t ready to Engage, they draw out their broad Swords, and each with a Whet|&s;tone, they carry for that purpo&s;e, falls to work to &s;et a keen Edge on his Weapon, with &s;o much eagerne&s;s and noi&s;e, that it begets no little terrour in the li&s;tening Foe, and Proclaims with what undaunted Re&s;olution they prepare to A&s;&s;ault them. Whereas the <HI>Teigs</HI> do only
<PB N="57" REF="31"> gaze about to &s;ee what Wood or Bog lies neare&s;t, and can be&s;t &s;hel|ter or favour them in their Retreat, or, perhaps by greazing their <HI>Broags,</HI> and anointing their <HI>Joints,</HI> make ready for a more &s;peedy Flight; then throwing down their Arms, and tru&s;ting &s;olely to their Legs, dare not &s;o much as once look back, but leave the Devil to take the hindmo&s;t.</P>
<P>Blindly obedient <HI>Children</HI> they are to the Pope of <HI>Rome</HI> their <HI>Holy Father,</HI> and to the Church of <HI>Rome</HI> their <HI>Gawdy-Mother;</HI> yet &s;o gro&s;ly ignorant in all Matters of Religion, that the Hi&s;tory of <HI>Tom Thumb</HI> be|ing read to them, has pa&s;&s;ed cur|rant for the Legend of one of their famous Saints, and believed to be as true as Go&s;pel; and if any im|probability, nay, impo&s;&s;ibility lyes in their way, name but St. <HI>Patrick</HI> for Voucher, and they &s;hall &s;wallow as many Prodigeous Untruths, as would choak the Credulity of
<PB N="58" REF="32"> the mo&s;t illiterate <HI>Heathen</HI> alive.</P>
<P>Ask many of them, What was the Name of the mo&s;t Ble&s;&s;ed Vir|gin <HI>Mary,</HI> and 'tis ten to one, but they'l an&s;wer, it was <HI>Jane,</HI> or <HI>Su|&s;an,</HI> and that St. <HI>Patrick</HI> was her <HI>Godfather;</HI> and to any the like Que&s;tion, they will furni&s;h you with the like An&s;wer, <HI>&amp;c.</HI> So that if <HI>Ignorance be the true Mother of De|votion;</HI> the City of <HI>Rome</HI> it &s;elf cannot produce &s;uch Devout <HI>Catho|licks</HI> as the&s;e <HI>Teigs;</HI> and therefore it's pity but they &s;hould be tran&s;|planted into the Territories of <HI>Holy Church,</HI> as being the mo&s;t &s;ubmi&s;|&s;ive Members thereof.</P>
<P>Much more might be &s;aid, but I have raked long enough in this Dunghil of <HI>Ireland,</HI> and &s;hall add no more, but that it is,
<Q><LG>
<L>A Land which does no <HI>venom'd Bea&s;t</HI> di&s;clo&s;e,</L>
<L>Yet &s;he breeds <HI>Men</HI> more <HI>Venomous</HI> than tho&s;e;</L>
<PB N="59" REF="32">
<L>Men, who in <HI>Cruelty</HI> are &s;o &s;ub|lime,</L>
<L>It &s;hews it is their <HI>Nature,</HI> as their <HI>Crime;</HI></L>
<L>Yet, when Our Hero's Landing they did hear,</L>
<L>Their <HI>Guilt,</HI> tho' va&s;t, did &s;carce tran&s;cend their <HI>Fear:</HI></L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Which at the <HI>Boyne,</HI> his Victory made good,</L>
<L>And wrote Heaven's <HI>Ju&s;tice</HI> on them in their <HI>Blood.</HI></L>
<L>Which &s;mee repeated by his <HI>Gene|ral's</HI> Sword,</L>
<L>Th' Oppre&s;&s;ors puni&s;h'd, and th' oppre&s;s'd re&s;tor'd.</L>
</LG></Q></P>
<DIV2 TYPE="to the reader">
<OPENER><SALUTE>Impartial Reader,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>To evince I have not branded the Commonalty of the Iri&s;h Nation with Cowardice either out of Igno|rance, or Spleen: or that meer ill Fortune, or any odd Accidents of War, hath been the occa&s;ion of their
<PB N="60" REF="33"> late ill Succe&s;&s;es (which many times hath befallen the brave&s;t of Men:) I have, to make good my <HI>Chara|cter</HI> of them, added hereunto a true Account of their Behaviour in the beginning of the Former War, in the Time of the Long Parliament, wherein you &s;hall find them de|&s;cribed in lively colours to be the &s;ame timerous Animals I have de|clared, as will appear by this Iri&s;h Monthly Mercury Printed at <HI>Cork,</HI> at the &s;ame time the Things were Tran&s;acted: Which Matters of <HI>Fact,</HI> were never contradicted by them&s;elves, of the <HI>Iri&s;h Nation,</HI> nor by any other <HI>Advocate</HI> for them. The <HI>Reflections</HI> therein contained, may be excu&s;ed, if the <HI>Reader</HI> but duly con&s;iders in what <HI>Times</HI> it was written.</P>
<P>The annexed <HI>Poem,</HI> being a <HI>Land Voyage;</HI> is in&s;erted only to de&s;cribe the <HI>Nature</HI> of that <HI>Climate,</HI> mo&s;t &s;ub|ject to frequent and prodigious Floods of <HI>Rain,</HI> &amp;c.</P>
<PB N="61" REF="33">
<P>The la&s;t is a <HI>Fragment</HI> of a larger <HI>Poem</HI> to <HI>His Maje&s;ty,</HI> which containing a &s;hort <HI>Character of England;</HI> was thought proper e|nough to be joyned hereunto.</P>
<P>Which with the <HI>Iri&s;h Epigram,</HI> &s;erves to Conclude this Trifle.</P>
</DIV2>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="text">
<PB N="62" REF="34">
<HEAD><HI>The</HI> Iri&s;h Monthly Mercury.</HEAD>
<LG N="1">
<HEAD>I.</HEAD>
<L>BRave <HI>C.....</HI> (and his valiant blades)</L>
<L>Who hath conquer'd Kingdoms Three,</L>
<L>And made the War the be&s;t of Trades,</L>
<L>And made it like to be.</L>
</LG>
<LG N="2">
<HEAD>II.</HEAD>
<L>His Actions 'tis I do intend</L>
<L>T' expo&s;e unto your View;</L>
<L>Therefore no Mu&s;e I need to Friend,</L>
<L>Nor ought, but to &s;peak true.</L>
</LG>
<LG N="3">
<PB N="63" REF="34">
<HEAD>III.</HEAD>
<L><HI>Jockey</HI>'s Defeat makes all the Earth</L>
<L>Abundantly to know him;</L>
<L>His Fame yet finds a &s;econd Birth</L>
<L>From <HI>Zim,</HI> and <HI>Gim,</HI> and <HI>Ohim.</HI></L>
</LG>
<LG N="4">
<HEAD>IV.</HEAD>
<L>O would he keep but his Command</L>
<L>For one Half-file of......</L>
<L>I'd lo&s;e my Head he'd clear the Land</L>
<L>Of ba&s;e <HI>Teigs,</HI> and <HI>Bog-trotters.</HI></L>
</LG>
<P>IT is but ju&s;t that the People &s;hould have <HI>News</HI> for their Mo|ney, and that they &s;hould hear as well as feel the Effects of their Taxes: the Committees have &s;o perfectly performed the la&s;t, that if I do but the fir&s;t as well, I may as much Merit a &s;hare in their Gain, as they de&s;erve a Puni&s;hment for making any.</P>
<PB N="64" REF="35">
<P>But becau&s;e I undertake the Eng|li&s;h Armies progre&s;s, I will run over briefly tho&s;e principal Occurrences which happen'd before I could come to the conveniency of a Pre&s;s, and henceforth Monthly deduce you all things in as Set a Form, as the Common-Prayer or Ma&s;s-Book.</P>
<P>Not long after the Sally at <HI>Dub|lin,</HI> which the Enemy out of Mo|de&s;ty call the <HI>Battel of</HI> Ramines, the Lord Lieutenant landed at <HI>Dub|lin</HI> with an Army &s;o nouri&s;ht in Victory, that they never &s;aw any Defeats, but tho&s;e they gave their Enemies. The fir&s;t De&s;ign they un|dertook, was the gaining of <HI>Tre|dagh,</HI> in which the Noble O..... had placed above Three Thou&s;and of his &s;elect Men, and Sir <HI>A.... A....</HI> for Commander, one as unable to &s;tand to it, as to run away: and it may be that's the rea&s;on he fell in the Service, doubtle&s;s he was better for a Retreat, &s;ince every &s;tep he would make a <HI>halt.</HI> In a word, if
<PB N="65" REF="35"> the rule be true of judging <HI>Her|cules</HI> by his Foot, one may conclude this a wooden Governour. Yet he had made &s;o good Earthen Fortifi|cations, that by tru&s;ting to his Works, he &s;hewed what Religion he was of. Their fir&s;t Retrench|ment again&s;t us, was the Church, out of which they were &s;oon di&s;|lodged; And I dare &s;ay, 'twas the fir&s;t time they ever went from Church unwillingly. This being done too, by &s;ome Ordinance of Parliament, 'tis not unlikely, the grave Presbyterians, (if ever the A&s;&s;embly come into play agen) may que&s;tion their Proceeding, and aver we have a mind our Enemies &s;hould &s;till continue Papi&s;ts, by &s;o preg|nantly evincing there was no Sal|vation for them in our Church. At length the breach being found a&s;|&s;aultable (more from the Event than the largene&s;s of it) our Army were &s;o little Courtiers, as to enter the Town, without &s;o much as
<PB N="66" REF="36"> knocking at the Gate, where all lo&s;t their lives but tho&s;e that &s;aved them: Of the fir&s;t qualification there were about Three Thou&s;and; of the latter Thirty, be it more or le&s;s.</P>
<P>Whil&s;t this was doing, <HI>Inchequin,</HI> to divert, but it proved to increa&s;e our &s;ucce&s;s, a&s;&s;aulted the <HI>Naus,</HI> a Town fortified like <HI>Jerico,</HI> after the Battery of the <HI>Rams-horns,</HI> from whence he drew off with a Flea in's Ear, confe&s;&s;ing in his Heart, that Providence was a better Engineer than <HI>A.....,</HI> and concluding the Spani&s;h fa&s;hion was the be&s;t, which is to leave a Town when one can|not take it.</P>
<P>Doubtle&s;s the Sympathetick Ope|ration is not meerly Notional; for we find, that though there wanted a <HI>Medium</HI> to hand and convey the Enemies fears from <HI>Tredagh</HI> to <HI>Trim</HI> and <HI>Dundalk;</HI> yet by Sym|pathetical working, tho&s;e in the two la&s;t &s;pecified Garri&s;ons abandoned
<PB N="67" REF="36"> them as &s;oon as we had the fir&s;t, and thereby gave us no trouble in the taking them, but that we took nothing in them.</P>
<P>The Army, after a &s;hort breath|ing at <HI>Dublin,</HI> march'd with &s;ome Cannon to <HI>Wa&s;hford;</HI> a thing (to tho&s;e that know the way) as hard to be believed as performed; and indured more to &s;eek Danger, than others could to avoid it. <HI>Wa&s;hford</HI> is the <HI>Dunkirk</HI> of <HI>Ireland,</HI> and a place only famous for being infa|mous: This al&s;o the Army took by Storm; but a few were &s;pared, and but a few put to the Sword; for the <HI>Divine Ju&s;tice</HI> manife&s;ted it &s;elf to be what it is, in making tho&s;e who had ruined many by the <HI>Sea,</HI> to be ruined in it. 'Tis a fre|quent rule with Heaven, to evi|dence the Sin in the Puni&s;hment: near Two Thou&s;and of tho&s;e <HI>Otters</HI> were drowned; which was generally e&s;teemed a Misfortune, but only be|cau&s;e there were no more drowned.</P>
<PB N="68" REF="37">
<P>From <HI>Wa&s;hford</HI> the Army march'd to <HI>Ros Pontis,</HI> &s;o called, (as I take it) becau&s;e it never had a Bridge. The place was &s;oon yielded; and tho' the di&s;pute was &s;hort, the Foe made a &s;hift to lo&s;e Five hundred Men; who being all Engli&s;h, fought &s;toutly for the time, and gave us ten times the work of &s;o many Iri&s;h. This was the deare&s;t Siege we un|dertook; for it co&s;t ever &s;ince as much Money as will Pay half a Thou&s;and of Men.</P>
<P>Certainly that Axiom in Philo|&s;ophy is true, that all things have a natural Appetite to rejoyn with that part of it &s;elf from which it hath violently been divided. This was demon&s;trated by the Engli&s;h &s;urpri&s;al of the City of <HI>Cork,</HI> and reintegrating them&s;elves into their own Nation. Sir <HI>R.S.</HI> Knight, <HI>&amp;c.</HI> was Governour there, who little dream'd of lo&s;ing his Command, and yet found he had lo&s;t it when he wak'd: one may truly &s;ay he was
<PB N="69" REF="37"> taken napping: But I mu&s;t acknow|ledge, to extenuate his misfortune, that he was dive&s;ted of his Govern|ment in the dark, and by con&s;e|quence could not &s;ee to prevent it. Sure this <HI>Major General</HI> lo&s;t his way into that Office, and was as much &s;urprized at his having got that Employment, as we were to &s;ee him in it. His Ignorance was &s;o great, it pa&s;t for his Religion; for never any that &s;aw him draw up the Army, but concluded he re|lied on Providence for the Victory, he made &s;o little u&s;e of the means for the obtaining of it. He has now done that too, which he ne|ver did to his Regiment, I mean Exerci&s;ed; and the word of Com|mand is, <HI>As you were;</HI> that is, re|duced to his Primitive Exi&s;tence, which affords him the Stoicks Mot|to, <HI>Omnia mea mecum Porto.</HI> This makes me that I believe he will think the&s;e la&s;t Eight Years to be a Dream, and that he was never
<PB N="70" REF="38"> really wak'd out of it, but when the&s;e rude Fellows of <HI>Cork</HI> pre|&s;um'd to do it.</P>
<P>There was be&s;ides in <HI>Cork,</HI> the Right Reverend Father the&mdash;: And tho' he were immediately com|manded to leave the Town, yet, in &s;pight of the Officers No&s;es, he did his <HI>BUSINESS</HI> fir&s;t, nay carried it away with him too. This is a Man of &s;o Unfortunate a Behaviour, that he left an ill Odour behind him, both among&s;t his Friends and Ene|mies: yet thereby he rendred one Branch of the Covenant unperfor|mable, as to his particular; for though he were a Limb of the Hierarchy, yet it was impo&s;&s;ible to take him <HI>CLEAN</HI> away.</P>
<P>The General being a&s;&s;ured of the Declaration of <HI>Cork,</HI> to im|prove that Succe&s;s, &s;ent away Col. <HI>P</HI>&mdash; for <HI>Mun&s;ter,</HI> with Five hun|dred Foot in a Fleet, that took another whil&s;t the fir&s;t was weigh|ing Anchor; but as the&s;e Forces
<PB N="71" REF="38"> were Sailing by <HI>Dungarvan,</HI> News was brought them, that <HI>Yog|hal</HI> had declared too, which made them Land there. In a &s;hort time, as one Shoulder of Mutton draws down another, &s;o one Town did the like unto another, whereby in le&s;s than a Fortnight, the Parlia|ment recovered their former Inte|re&s;t in that <HI>Province,</HI> and with as little Blood, as they had lo&s;t it.</P>
<P>By this O&mdash; and <HI>Owen Roe</HI> O <HI>Neale</HI> had &s;hook hands, the Gene|ral hoping they would think them|&s;elves &s;trong enough to be beaten, (for he de&s;ired no higher certainty of the Victory than to come to the Battle) march'd over the <HI>Barro,</HI> upon a Bridge which floated, but he &s;oon found the Enemy did &s;o too, and that tho' they wanted valour it &s;elf, yet they had the be&s;t part of it di&s;|cretion, or like Unfortunate Game|&s;ters, they would &s;take away their <HI>Re&s;t,</HI> and never <HI>Play</HI> for it.</P>
<PB N="72" REF="39">
<P>But <HI>J</HI>&mdash; who no man can &s;ay hath been Unactive, tho' it were only for the often changing of his <HI>Party,</HI> with near Three thou&s;and Hor&s;e and Foot, went to encoun|ter a &s;mall Party of ours, being but a handful, coming from <HI>Dublin,</HI> he took them tired Cap-a-pe, yet they gave him &s;o rude a Salute, for a Gentleman that came &s;o far to meet them; that he took their u&s;age &s;o much to heart, as he Vowed he would never be guilty of the like Civility agen: In a word, he did nothing con&s;iderable, but that he did nothing that was &s;o, neither can I think any thing in his defence, for his Retreat, but that he is dear to his Mi&s;tre&s;s, and con&s;equently be|lieves &s;he will value him the more, for taking &s;uch care to pre&s;erve what &s;he loved.</P>
<P>Our Army being over the <HI>Barro,</HI> and the Enemies not &s;o much as at|tempting to &s;end them back, tho&s;e of <HI>Ine&s;tege</HI> believing it was out of
<PB N="73" REF="39"> Complement; to imitate their Su|periours, quitted to us that Quarter, and the Magi&s;trate of the Town of <HI>Carrick,</HI> loth that any &s;hould tran|&s;cend him in Civility, received Col. <HI>R</HI>&mdash; into his Corporation; nay, though the Colonel had been &s;o unkind as to give him no Ad|verti&s;ement of his Vi&s;it, till he was within the Walls: Col. <HI>R</HI>&mdash; who is &s;o ju&s;t as to take the intention for the Act, and who was convinced, that had they known of his coming, they would have been better provi|ded for him, told the Inhabitants, <HI>It was better as it was.</HI></P>
<P>The General by the benefit of this place, Fords over the River of <HI>Shoore,</HI> and advanceth towards <HI>Wa|terford,</HI> but the Foe not daring to relieve it by force, endeavour it by Diver&s;ion, and at Noon-day &s;tormed <HI>Carrick,</HI> but the Gallant Engli&s;h|man, that had the Courage to take it, had al&s;o the Valour to defend it, and having increa&s;ed the Romi&s;h
<PB N="74" REF="40"> Martyrs by a Recruit of Three or Four hundred, the re&s;t very wi&s;ely concluded there would be then no room for any more of them in the Holy <HI>Mu&s;ter-Roll,</HI> and &s;o adjourned their Martyrdom till a convenienter Opportunity; all the Honour they got by the Attempt, was that they dur&s;t make it.</P>
<P>But though we had thus happily overcome hitherto all Enemies we had encountred, yet one was &s;oon &s;ent us that plainly wor&s;ted us, which was the Extremity of the Weather, that permitted not our Ships (where|in was our Bread and Artillery) to continue any longer in the Road, nor us in the Field; So that the Second of this Month we drew off from near <HI>Waterford</HI> (having fir&s;t taken and garri&s;oned the Fort of <HI>Pa&s;&s;age</HI> in the way to Harbour) but in Weather &s;o &s;ad, that our march|ing away in it could not fill the Town with more Joy. The Fourth, the Army did march by <HI>Dungar|van,</HI>
<PB N="75" REF="40"> which the day before had turned Hone&s;t. There it was that Lieutenant-General <HI>Jo</HI>&mdash; fell Sick, and in Seven days died, a Lo&s;s which countervails almo&s;t all our Victories, and which merits as many Tears as the very Clouds have &s;hed of late; he was a Per&s;on of whom I &s;hould give you a low Character, if I thought I could give you his. In brief, he was a Per&s;on to be known Negatively, which was the way, the be&s;t Pen cho&s;e to de&s;cribe the be&s;t place.</P>
<P>The General having pa&s;t the <HI>Black-water,</HI> made <HI>Yoghal</HI> his Head-Quarter, where he received Intelli|gence the Eleventh of this In&s;tant, that Lieutenant-General <HI>F</HI>&mdash;, in|tending to make a <HI>Boe-peep</HI> War of it, had drawn out of <HI>Waterford</HI> Two thou&s;and Hor&s;e and Foot, and was &s;et down before the Fort of <HI>Pa&s;&s;age;</HI> he therefore immediately Commanded away gallant Col. <HI>S</HI>&mdash; with about One hundred and eighty
<PB N="76" REF="41"> Hor&s;e, and as many Foot and Dra|goons; he ordered his Bu&s;ine&s;s &s;o well, that he routed the <HI>Teigs,</HI> kill'd and took Six hundred, with|out the lo&s;s of one Man on our &s;ide: Heaven knowing that we wanted Men, as much as Succe&s;s, did therefore give us the la&s;t, and pre&s;erved the fir&s;t. The Pri&s;oners con&s;i&s;ted of <HI>Iri&s;h Vul&s;ters,</HI> and <HI>Eng|li&s;h-Iri&s;h Vul&s;ters,</HI> for &s;o I make bold to term the Fuzees, and if I be not mi&s;taken, they will make bold to de&s;erve that Name. There, too, was taken <HI>Wo</HI>&mdash;, one who commanded <HI>Duncannon,</HI> and who there pray'd God to keep him from the General's Mercy; I believe his Pray'r will be granted, for he &s;hall receive his Ju&s;tice, for by the Rules of Gradation he mu&s;t now &s;erve the Gallows, they admit but of three Stories, nor can his changes admit of more; his fir&s;t Ma&s;ters (&s;ince he left the Engli&s;h Service) were the <HI>Jockies,</HI> his &s;econd the
<PB N="77" REF="41"> <HI>Teigs;</HI> now, if any can find a Su|perlative, to that Po&s;itive ond Com|parative, but the Gibbet, I wi&s;h that may not prove. Mr. <HI>Wo</HI>&mdash;'s Fate.</P>
<P>The&s;e <HI>Vul&s;ters</HI> now taken are as near <HI>Jockies</HI> in condition, as in Country, a People too, that hate their own Country, as much as the Original <HI>Covenanters</HI> do theirs, and with as much cau&s;e: They are both like Fountains, always running from whence they Spring; me-thinks 'twere not ami&s;s tho&s;e Barbarians &s;hould be &s;ent after their General <HI>O. R</HI>&mdash; who died about a Month &s;ince; and yet upon better thoughts that would prove no Puni&s;hment, for it would but confine them eter|nally from returning home; 'twere better make an <HI>Iri&s;h-Tweed,</HI> or a <HI>Pict|wall,</HI> and keep them on the North &s;ide of it.</P>
<P>The General having ordered the&s;e Savages to be convoyed to <HI>Cork,</HI> went thither him&s;elf the Fif|teenth;
<PB N="78" REF="42"> and whereas other Corpo|rations make their <HI>Mouth</HI> tell their <HI>Joy,</HI> this made their <HI>Looks</HI> do it, in which I believe he &s;aw their <HI>Hearts;</HI> I cannot for the credit of the Place, but let the World know, there was too a Speech made by an old Inhabitant of the City; I mu&s;t con|fe&s;s I cannot do him the right to re|late his words, but I mu&s;t do him this right, that I believe they pleas'd the General well, for they made him laugh heartily.</P>
<P>The Twentieth, the beforemen|tioned <HI>Vul&s;ters</HI> came to Town, a <HI>Crew</HI> of &s;uch things as admits not of any Compari&s;on, but among&s;t the re&s;idue of their Country-men; what the dull <HI>P</HI>&mdash; (who hath not Wit enough to be a Secretary) ca&s;t upon the Army, might have been &s;een in this Epitomy of the Enemies, I mean <HI>naked Adamites</HI> for want of Cloathing, <HI>Cowardly Quakers,</HI> &amp;c. But yet 'tis &s;trange they are &s;uch do|cile Creatures, that upon only a bare
<PB N="79" REF="42"> Motion of the Mar&s;hal General, they had all like to have gone to Church; &s;ome merry Fellows were about to move the General, that the Clergy of this Province who are now Reform'd (I mean not in their Lives, but Livings) &s;hould have this new Congregation for their Pari&s;hioners; and truly 'twere not ami&s;s, for it's thought they are as like to convert them as any o|thers: <HI>Oh,</HI> would that <HI>Clergy</HI> but keep as far from Sin, as they u&s;e to do from their <HI>Texts,</HI> or as they are like to do from their <HI>Tythes.</HI></P>
<P>Some tran&s;cendent Lo&s;&s;es we have had by the Death of &s;ome of our brave&s;t Officers cut off by the Di|&s;temper of the Country: but to &s;weeten this Cup, we under&s;tand for certain, that the Lord Pre&s;ident of <HI>Connaught</HI> hath taken <HI>Colerane</HI> by Storm, and hath &s;o &s;ettled the Iri&s;h and <HI>Scotch</HI> Garri&s;on in it, that they are never like to march out of it a|gain. We hear further he hath a|greed
<PB N="80" REF="43"> for the Surrender of <HI>Karick-vergus,</HI> if it be not relieved in &s;ix Weeks time; and though &s;ome be|lieve the Garri&s;on have taken &s;o long a time, in hope of Relief from their Country, yet I believe 'tis only to keep &s;o long out of it.</P>
<P>Sir <HI>H. W</HI>&mdash; too, the Nineteenth of this Month, Landed with a Re|giment of Foot clad in a Livery, which I believe their Swords will wear next Spring: There are be|&s;ides &s;everal other Ships come from the <HI>We&s;t,</HI> from <HI>Milford,</HI> from <HI>Bri&s;tol,</HI> and from <HI>London,</HI> with <HI>Provi&s;ions, Money, Men, Artillery,</HI> &amp;c.</P>
<Q><L>Thus <HI>Seas</HI> and <HI>Winds</HI> and <HI>Men,</HI> do all make <HI>Leagues,</HI></L>
<L>To act the <HI>Ruine</HI> of the filthy <HI>Teagues.</HI></L></Q>
<CLOSER><DATELINE><DATE>Ended the 21th of <HI>Decemb.</HI> 1649.</DATE> Printed at <HI>Corke.</HI></DATELINE></CLOSER>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="poem">
<PB N="81" REF="43">
<HEAD>A LAND VOYAGE IN <HI>IRELAND.</HI></HEAD>
<L>AFter a <HI>Breakfa&s;t</HI> the la&s;t <HI>Sundays Eve,</HI></L>
<L>By the Sun's Ri&s;e, the <HI>Blarney</HI> we did leave;</L>
<L>Who at his getting up, &s;o &s;mil'd and laugh'd,</L>
<L>As if he'd drink the Clouds for's Mornings Draught;</L>
<L>But yet, alas, we had not gone a League,</L>
<L>When the fal&s;e <HI>Weather</HI> turn'd di|rectly <HI>Teige;</HI></L>
<PB N="82" REF="44">
<L>And the <HI>Wind,</HI> too, unkindly turned <HI>South,</HI></L>
<L>And blew i'th' <HI>Teeth</HI> of tho&s;e had &s;ome i'th' <HI>Mouth.</HI></L>
<L>Of tho&s;e had none; &s;o that <HI>Betty</HI> th' unfair</L>
<L>Spite of all Wants had &s;uffer'd, if then there.</L>
<L>The Rain power'd down &s;o fa&s;t, 'twas too well known,</L>
<L>The <HI>Clouds</HI> were then, not troubled with the <HI>Stone.</HI></L>
<L>This did &s;o <HI>greatly</HI> rai&s;e a <HI>little</HI> Brook,</L>
<L>That we did fear our Way we had mi&s;took;</L>
<L>For 'twas &s;o deep, that a Ship might have then</L>
<L>Floated, tho' laden with <HI>Commitee-Men.</HI></L>
<L>Which Danger when we found, we did begin</L>
<L>To wi&s;h each Hand and Foot had been a <HI>Finn.</HI></L>
<L>At length, by <HI>Land</HI> and <HI>Water,</HI> we got o're,</L>
<L>And had no &s;ooner reach'd the <HI>Pagan</HI> &s;hore,</L>
<PB N="83" REF="44">
<L>But a bold <HI>Teige,</HI> e're we could look about,</L>
<L>Swore he would wet our <HI>In&s;ide,</HI> as our <HI>Out.</HI></L>
<L>With that he brought a <HI>Flagon,</HI> but &s;o grea&s;ie,</L>
<L>That had my <HI>Boots</HI> been half &s;o much, with ea&s;e I</L>
<L>The Water had kept out; which we did fear</L>
<L>Much le&s;s, then to let <HI>in</HI> his &s;maller <HI>Beer:</HI></L>
<L><HI>Beer,</HI> of which many <HI>ill</HI> things might be &s;e'd,</L>
<L>Were 't not unfit to &s;peak <HI>ill of the</HI> DEAD.</L>
<L>Yet thus much of it I dare boldly &s;ay,</L>
<L>Tho' weak, it quickly drove us all away.</L>
<L>But <HI>That,</HI> you'l &s;ay, was not much for it's fame,</L>
<L>Since that the Water, had near done the &s;ame.</L>
<L>Having our Potion drunk, we held it fit</L>
<L>To <HI>Pay,</HI> though Drinking we had <HI>Paid</HI> for it:</L>
<PB N="84" REF="45">
<L>Perhaps the Entertainer thought the &s;ame:</L>
<L>For, when but <HI>Money</HI> only we did name,</L>
<L>He took't &s;o ill, that clearly I do think,</L>
<L>Nothing could be wor&s;e taken, but his <HI>Drink.</HI></L>
<L>Our Ho&s;t, at length, a little &s;atis|fy'd,</L>
<L>Yet more than we, our Bea&s;ts we did be&s;tride,</L>
<L>And &s;witch and &s;pur, a foot pace rid away,</L>
<L>Unto the place where Captain <HI>Rud|dock</HI> lay:</L>
<L>But <HI>wet</HI> &s;o Cap-a-pee, that where we &s;tood,</L>
<L>We almo&s;t there did rai&s;e a &s;econd <HI>Flood,</HI></L>
<L>Which made the half-drown'd Garri|&s;on de&s;ire</L>
<L>That we this <HI>marching Deluge</HI> wou'd retire;</L>
<L>Nay &s;ome of them &s;tuck not to &s;ay aloud,</L>
<L>We were not <HI>Men,</HI> but a <HI>di&s;&s;olving Cloud.</HI></L>
<PB N="85" REF="45">
<L>Such were our droppings, that if they had bin</L>
<L><HI>Tears</HI> of <HI>Repentance</HI> we had drown'd our <HI>Sin.</HI></L>
<L>Our half-becalmed Steeds we then did la&s;h-on,</L>
<L>Till at the length we came to <HI>Balli|gla&s;hon;</HI></L>
<L>But &s;ome, as I thought, went with an ill will on,</L>
<L>Tho' that the Quarters were of Cap|tain <HI>Dillon.</HI></L>
<L>But there my Wat'ry Friends grew quickly merry,</L>
<L>Finding the Foord there turn'd into a <HI>Ferry;</HI></L>
<L>Hoping that we no further could go on;</L>
<L>But ended there our <HI>Navigation.</HI></L>
<L>I &s;corn'd &s;o poor a thought, and therefore got</L>
<L>A <HI>reeling Charon,</HI> to a <HI>reeling Cott.</HI></L>
<L>It was a Miracle we were not &s;unk,</L>
<L>Since that the <HI>Boat,</HI> and Boatman both were drunk.</L>
<PB N="86" REF="46">
<L>Had, but the fir&s;t as full of Liquor bin,</L>
<L>As the la&s;t was, nought could have made it &s;wim.</L>
<L>That Axiom we did then Experiment,</L>
<L>That nothing's weighty in its Element;</L>
<L>El&s;e we had there mi&s;carried without doubt,</L>
<L>By <HI>Charon</HI>'s wet within, and ours without.</L>
<L>But of <HI>George Dillon</HI> three Steeds I did borrow,</L>
<L>Which I made bold, the Water to &s;wim thorow.</L>
<L>Our Train we left there, and tho&s;e three that went on,</L>
<L>Were I, my Servant <HI>Gibbs,</HI> and <HI>Maurice Fenton.</HI></L>
<L>So lean tho&s;e Gennets were, that I their Ribs</L>
<L>Could &s;ee, as plainly, as I could &s;ee <HI>Gibbs:</HI></L>
<L>And to &s;peak true, the be&s;t Bea&s;t that we were on,</L>
<L>Was both by Sire and Dam, a down|right Garron.</L>
<PB N="87" REF="46">
<L>As for their mettle, you mu&s;t think it rare,</L>
<L>When nought about them but their hair did &s;tare.</L>
<L>Their out&s;ide, tho' twere har&s;h, yet &s;ure they be</L>
<L>The <HI>civil'&s;t</HI> Creatures I did ever &s;ee;</L>
<L>For, without lying, it might well be &s;e'd,</L>
<L>To every thing they bow'd both <HI>knee</HI> and <HI>head,</HI></L>
<L>Chiefly my own, which made me &s;trongly fear</L>
<L>I then did ride on an Idolater;</L>
<L>At lea&s;t, if it be lawful &s;o to &s;ay</L>
<L>Of one who unto <HI>Stones</HI> doth <HI>Kneel</HI> and <HI>Pray.</HI></L>
<L>And when he &s;tumbled, you might then as &s;oon</L>
<L>Have hindred Fate, as him, from falling down.</L>
<L>But yet &s;o wanton, that between each <HI>Spit</HI></L>
<L>And <HI>Stride,</HI> he ever <HI>Ince&s;t</HI> would commit.</L>
<PB N="88" REF="47">
<L><HI>Maurice</HI> his Steed oft put him into fright</L>
<L>Of ju&s;tly lo&s;ing the Name of <HI>white Knight.</HI></L>
<L>The Hor&s;e too that my Man was mounted on,</L>
<L>Was by his Ma&s;ter called <HI>Choridon.</HI></L>
<L>Which gallant Name did co&s;t the poor Jade dear,</L>
<L>It made him both <HI>Gibbs</HI> and the Cloak-bag bear;</L>
<L>Which forc'd the proud <HI>Getulian</HI> &s;o to puff,</L>
<L>That we at fir&s;t did think he took't in &s;nuff.</L>
<L>And therefore, for to right him I was minded,</L>
<L>Which doing, I &s;oon found him <HI>broken-winded.</HI></L>
<L>And that he &s;hew'd, too, in &s;o high a form,</L>
<L>I wondred cro&s;&s;ing <HI>Styx,</HI> he rais'd no Storm.</L>
<L>This real truth, as &s;oon as I did find</L>
<L>We voted <HI>Gibbs</HI> &s;till for to ride be|hind.</L>
<PB N="89" REF="47">
<L>Which tho we had not, here 'tis to be noted,</L>
<L>The <HI>Bea&s;t</HI> him&s;elf had done, what we had voted:</L>
<L>So that when mettle in our Steeds did fail,</L>
<L>That want was helpt by his obliging <HI>Gale.</HI></L>
<L>But now I end, le&s;t &s;ome might truly &s;ay,</L>
<L>The Story is as <HI>tedious</HI> as the <HI>Way.</HI></L>
<L>At length, with hazard both of <HI>Life</HI> and <HI>Lim,</HI></L>
<L>By Candle-light <HI>Macroome</HI> we en|tred in;</L>
<L>So dirty, that even as much <HI>Rain</HI> agen,</L>
<L>Could with much difficulty make us <HI>clean.</HI></L>
<L>Our <HI>Hor&s;es</HI> too, as tho&s;e that &s;aw them &s;ay,</L>
<L>Appear'd like moving <HI>Statues</HI> made of <HI>Clay;</HI></L>
<L>And tho' alive, did &s;eem the &s;elf-&s;ame <HI>Earth,</HI></L>
<L>From whence at fir&s;t they did derive their <HI>Birth.</HI></L>
<PB N="90" REF="48">
<L>We were no &s;ooner lighted, but we there</L>
<L>Did offer up, many a <HI>Cur&s;e,</HI> and <HI>Pray'r;</HI></L>
<L>The <HI>fir&s;t,</HI> a greater &s;ure we could not give,</L>
<L>Was that our Hor&s;es as they were might live;</L>
<L>And the <HI>la&s;t</HI> was, They might be rid by tho&s;e</L>
<L>Who were our <HI>Private,</HI> and the <HI>Publick Foes.</HI></L>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="poem">
<PB N="91" REF="48">
<HEAD>A POEM To His Sacred Maje&s;ty King <HI>William.</HI></HEAD>
<L>ALL things, as at the fir&s;t, in <HI>Chaos</HI> lay</L>
<L>Till <HI>You</HI> appear'd, and did the Scepter &s;way;</L>
<L>And as that <HI>Chaos</HI> vani&s;h'd at a Word,</L>
<L>So ours did by <HI>Your Conduct</HI> and <HI>Your Sword:</HI></L>
<L><HI>Your Sword</HI> which like <HI>Achilles</HI> Launce has found</L>
<L>The Power to <HI>Cure,</HI> as quickly as to <HI>Wound.</HI></L>
<L>To <HI>You</HI> a double benefit we owe,</L>
<L><HI>Y' have</HI> tam'd our Foes, and our own Mad|ne&s;s too.</L>
<L>Like to <HI>Bethe&s;da</HI>'s-<HI>Pool</HI> this Nations Weal,</L>
<L>Till it was troubled, had not Pow'r to <HI>Heal.</HI></L>
<PB N="92" REF="49">
<L>By &s;uch great Actings, <HI>You</HI> &s;o chang'd th' extream,</L>
<L>That <HI>I&s;tael</HI>-like, we are as tho&s;e who Dream:</L>
<L>Our pa&s;t, and now condition, does expre&s;s,</L>
<L>What Engli&s;h-men could bear, or &s;hould Po&s;&s;e&s;s.</L>
<L>High Ble&s;&s;ings from <HI>Your</HI> Pow'r our Land enjoys,</L>
<L>Yet like the <HI>Sun, You</HI> cheri&s;h without Noi&s;e.</L>
<L>Some Mi&s;chiefs did with more Di&s;turbance fall,</L>
<L>Than <HI>You</HI> have made in <HI>Curing</HI> of them all.</L>
<L>As lingring <HI>Chymi&s;ts</HI> pant 'twixt fear and hope,</L>
<L>While their la&s;t Wealth exhales in <HI>fire</HI> and <HI>&s;moke.</HI></L>
<L>Watch when their <HI>Phenix,</HI> to their longing eyes,</L>
<L>With <HI>Golden-Wings</HI> will from the <HI>A&s;hes</HI> ri&s;e:</L>
<L>So mid&s;t the <HI>ruin</HI> both of <HI>Church</HI> and <HI>State,</HI></L>
<L>Almo&s;t de&s;pairing, did three <HI>Nations</HI> wait,</L>
<L>For <HI>You,</HI> our grand <HI>Re&s;torer,</HI> who alone</L>
<L>Have <HI>rais'd</HI> our fortune, <HI>ri&s;ing</HI> to the <HI>Throne:</HI></L>
<L>Enrich'd us with more real trea&s;ures gain</L>
<L>Than greedy <HI>Chymi&s;ts</HI> labour for in vain;</L>
<L>They in thick mi&s;ts of <HI>&s;moak</HI> are &s;till mi&s;lead,</L>
<L>Our <HI>Gold</HI>'s <HI>exalted, fix'd</HI> upon <HI>Your Head.</HI></L>
<PB N="93" REF="49">
<L>Whil&s;t this oppre&s;&s;ed <HI>Country</HI> did think fit,</L>
<L>&V;nder a <HI>load</HI> of Sufferings to &s;it,</L>
<L>With Patience: <HI>You</HI> at <HI>di&s;tance,</HI> did but mourn</L>
<L>For wrongs, which <HI>You</HI> to vindicate were born.</L>
<L>But when tho&s;e wrongs in &s;uch va&s;t &s;how'rs did fall</L>
<L>That this griev'd Country to <HI>Your Sword</HI> did call;</L>
<L>Th' Oppre&s;&s;or's &s;oon found, they could not with&s;tand</L>
<L>Vengeance when <HI>ripe,</HI> and paid by &s;uch a hand.</L>
<L>As we behold, at the fir&s;t birth of day,</L>
<L>A beauteous glimp&s;e, while yet the infant Ray</L>
<L>Of th' ri&s;ing Sun but ju&s;t appears in &s;ight,</L>
<L>Then, by degrees, a fairer &s;tock of Light,</L>
<L>With burni&s;h'd beams adorns &s;ome lofty hills.</L>
<L>And after, the whole Scene with Glory fills.</L>
<L>So You approach'd, fir&s;t, with Your Acts of Grace,</L>
<L>Which &s;oon dark Clouds of guilt and &s;orrows cha&s;e;</L>
<L>Then &s;ome bright rays of favour did let fall,</L>
<L>On choice&s;t <HI>Worthies;</HI> now diffu&s;ing all.</L>
<L><HI>Your</HI> Splendour doth appear to every Eye,</L>
<L>In Noon-tide <HI>lu&s;tre,</HI> and full <HI>Maje&s;ty:</HI></L>
<PB N="94" REF="50">
<L>Your Beams both light and cheri&s;h, they impart</L>
<L>Joy to the &s;ight, and comfort to the heart.</L>
<L>Nay &s;uch <HI>Your</HI> Influence is, without con|troul,</L>
<L>It &s;heds Religion's Ble&s;&s;ings on the Soul;</L>
<L>Whereby <HI>Your Soveraignty</HI> is &s;o encrea&s;t,</L>
<L><HI>You</HI> have a <HI>Throne</HI> in every <HI>Hone&s;t</HI> brea&s;t,</L>
<L>Whil&s;t Pow'r and Mercy, have to <HI>You</HI> a&s;|&s;ign'd</L>
<L>Dominion both on <HI>Body,</HI> and on <HI>Mind.</HI></L>
<L>And tho' &s;ome Enemies again&s;t <HI>You</HI> brings</L>
<L><HI>Your</HI> Lineage not &s;o high, as former Kings:</L>
<L>Yet <HI>Your</HI> own Glories do &s;o <HI>brightly</HI> &s;hine</L>
<L><HI>You</HI> need not the old lu&s;tre of <HI>Your Line:</HI></L>
<L>For more that Honour's valued by the <HI>Good,</HI></L>
<L>Which is deriv'd from <HI>Merit,</HI> than from <HI>Blood.</HI></L>
<L>And 'tis a more tran&s;cendent <HI>Vertue</HI> far,</L>
<L>A <HI>Crown</HI> to <HI>Merit,</HI> than a <HI>Crown</HI> to <HI>wear.</HI></L>
<L>And you the Royal Throne &s;o well adorn,</L>
<L>The Wi&s;e &s;oon priz'd, what only Fools did &s;corn:</L>
<L>A Throne which even the <HI>Envious</HI> confe&s;s,</L>
<L>Our <HI>Safety</HI> urg'd Your <HI>Courage</HI> to po&s;&s;e&s;s.</L>
<L>One Crown, &s;ome judg'd too much, while yet mi&s;led,</L>
<L>Now three's too mean for <HI>Your</HI> Illu&s;trious <HI>Head,</HI></L>
<PB N="95" REF="50">
<L>Which, tho' <HI>Imperial,</HI> le&s;s to <HI>You</HI> appear,</L>
<L>In value, than the <HI>Olive Wreath</HI> You'l wear.</L>
<L><HI>Your</HI> warlike <HI>Sword</HI> cuts out our way to <HI>Peace,</HI></L>
<L>The <HI>Stubborn</HI> quell'd, the re&s;t &s;hall live at Ea&s;e,</L>
<L>And 'twill be ju&s;t in all to own that we</L>
<L>From <HI>Your</HI> great <HI>Conque&s;ts</HI> gain our <HI>Li|bertie;</HI></L>
<L>An Emblem how <HI>God</HI> his <HI>Elect</HI> receives,</L>
<L>Fir&s;t he <HI>Subdues,</HI> then <HI>Liberty</HI> he gives.</L>
<L>Tho&s;e &s;unk in bondage, <HI>You</HI> to freedom lift,</L>
<L>The Noble&s;t giver, and the Noble&s;t gift:</L>
<L>How were you born to give all <HI>Europe</HI> Ea&s;e,</L>
<L>And quickly, too, almo&s;t by Miracles:</L>
<L>At home our re&s;tle&s;s Spirits <HI>You</HI> have aw'd;</L>
<L>Now <HI>Your</HI> great Courage Summons <HI>You</HI> abroad,</L>
<L><HI>Ireland</HI> and <HI>Scotland,</HI> to <HI>Your</HI> Empire bow,</L>
<L>And by their &V;nion, we &s;hall &s;tronger grow;</L>
<L>For none to break our quiet will be found</L>
<L>Now all our Arrow's in one Sheaf are bound:</L>
<L>Which has &s;o fram'd this Empire to en|dure,</L>
<L>We need but have Wi&s;e Foes to be &s;ecure,</L>
<L>Secure &s;o highly, as to be exempt</L>
<L>Not from their Conque&s;t only, but Attempt.</L>
<PB N="96" REF="51">
<L>Out fierce Divi&s;ions made <HI>Your</HI> Valour known,</L>
<L>But more <HI>Your</HI> Wi&s;dom &s;hines, which makes us one.</L>
<L>Nor could Succe&s;s more for the Conquer'd do,</L>
<L>Than by <HI>Your</HI> bounty they are rais'd unto:</L>
<L>From an A&s;piring foreign Tyrant freed,</L>
<L>The guiltle&s;s &s;afe &s;hall live, the <HI>Guilty bleed.</HI></L>
<L>Nay that <HI>fell Mon&s;ter,</HI> who with &s;o much Pains</L>
<L>Has &s;trove to binde all <HI>Europe</HI> in <HI>his Chains,</HI></L>
<L>Begins to <HI>&s;hrink</HI> and <HI>hide,</HI> when <HI>You</HI> appear,</L>
<L>And finds a &s;top put to his &s;wift <HI>Cariere.</HI></L>
<L>His boa&s;ted <HI>Fleets</HI> which threatned late our <HI>&s;hoar,</HI></L>
<L>Now <HI>Sculks,</HI> and bravely dares approach no no more.</L>
<L>On <HI>You</HI> oppre&s;&s;ed Princes loudly call,</L>
<L>And joyntly make <HI>You</HI> their great General:</L>
<L>&V;pon <HI>Your Conduct</HI> all their hopes rely,</L>
<L><HI>Your</HI> Sword's the Arbiter of Victory,</L>
<L>Guided by Heav'n, the haughty to pluck down,</L>
<L>And with firm Peace, re&s;tore to each his own.</L>
<L>For <HI>Your</HI> ju&s;t thoughts do only take a Care,</L>
<L>To end, and to prevent a tedious War.</L>
<PB N="97" REF="51">
<L>Therein the Noble&s;t Conque&s;t we &s;hall find,</L>
<L>When <HI>You</HI> place bounds, unto <HI>Your</HI> va&s;ter Mind:</L>
<L>And to <HI>Your</HI> &s;harpe&s;t Foes, it is made known,</L>
<L><HI>You</HI> have more ways to <HI>Conquer</HI> them than one:</L>
<L><HI>Swords</HI> in rough Fetters may Men's Bodies bind,</L>
<L>But <HI>Mercy</HI> only does &s;ubdue the Mind.</L>
<L>Thus <HI>You'l</HI> not only famous be in War,</L>
<L>But Peace &s;hall &s;pread <HI>Your</HI> Name, at lea&s;t, as f<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="MURP" EXTENT="1 letter">r.</L>
<L>A Prince thus worthy, &s;ure de&s;erves to be</L>
<L>The Supreme of the Worlds be&s;t Monarchie;</L>
<L>And that our own is &s;uch where <HI>You</HI> bear &s;way,</L>
<L>I &s;hall repeat, from what be&s;t Poets &s;ay.</L>
<L>Our little <HI>Engli&s;h Paradi&s;e,</HI> is &s;tor'd</L>
<L>With all <HI>con&s;piring Elements</HI> afford</L>
<L>To make a <HI>Country</HI> happy; Here we have</L>
<L>All that our <HI>Health,</HI> or &s;ober <HI>Plea&s;ures</HI> crave;</L>
<L>And if we greater <HI>Riches</HI> do de&s;ire,</L>
<L>Than what more frugal <HI>Nature</HI> does re|quire,</L>
<L>Indu&s;trious <HI>Navigators</HI> &s;earch, abroad</L>
<L>And in our <HI>Ports</HI> the co&s;tlie&s;t Freights un|load,</L>
<L><HI>Gems</HI> of high fancied Value, riche&s;t <HI>Wines,</HI></L>
<L>Ripe <HI>Spices,</HI> and the <HI>Gold</HI> of <HI>India's</HI> Mines.</L>
<PB N="98" REF="52">
<L>Silks from Luxurious <HI>Per&s;ia</HI> are &s;ent,</L>
<L>And plea&s;ant <HI>Fruits,</HI> from every continent.</L>
<L>Thus with the <HI>Waves,</HI> Plenty upon us flows,</L>
<L>And what the <HI>Soil</HI> denies, the <HI>Sea</HI> be|&s;tows.</L>
<L>For Prudent <HI>Nature</HI> nothing here denies,</L>
<L>But what's &s;uperfluous; which our Trade &s;upplies.</L>
<L>And what tho&s;e <HI>Foreigners</HI> will not af|ford</L>
<L>In <HI>Traffick,</HI> we can Purcha&s;e by the <HI>Sword;</HI></L>
<L>So that whatever <HI>u&s;eful</HI> is, or <HI>rate,</HI></L>
<L>Nature pre&s;ents us, or an ea&s;ie War.</L>
<L>Our <HI>Air</HI> &s;o temp'rate we no <HI>&s;hady Groves</HI></L>
<L>Much need, in <HI>Summer;</HI> nor in Winter Stows:</L>
<L>For &s;uch a clement Heaven this I&s;le does ble&s;s</L>
<L>Ware &s;eldom <HI>&s;corch'd;</HI> or feel the Fro&s;ts <HI>exce&s;s,</HI></L>
<L>Which makes it <HI>Love's</HI> be&s;t <HI>Climate,</HI> and affords.</L>
<L>Beauties, which are re&s;i&s;tle&s;s as our Swords.</L>
<L>That <HI>Race</HI> of <HI>Hor&s;es,</HI> which our <HI>Land</HI> does <HI>breed,</HI></L>
<L>Are ju&s;tly fam'd for <HI>&s;trength,</HI> and &s;hape, and &s;peed,</L>
<L>On whom when once their <HI>Valiant Riders</HI> get,</L>
<L>No Foe can &s;hun the Battel, or defeat.</L>
<PB N="99" REF="52">
<L>Our <HI>Meadows</HI> are &s;o <HI>fre&s;h</HI> &s;till to the Eye,</L>
<L>As if each <HI>Morn</HI> &s;pread its new <HI>Tapi|&s;try:</HI></L>
<L>Whil&s;t other Countries <HI>&s;corch'd</HI> with un|kind <HI>heat,</HI></L>
<L>When they a New one in their &s;ea&s;on get,</L>
<L>In a few days they then appear to be</L>
<L><HI>Cloath'd,</HI> but with <HI>England's</HI> old <HI>ca&s;t Li|very:</HI></L>
<L>For but <HI>compar'd,</HI> they <HI>faintly green</HI> ap|pear,</L>
<L>Like <HI>wither'd Mantles</HI> of a former year:</L>
<L>Ours being <HI>wa&s;h'd</HI> in gentle <HI>&s;how'rs</HI> and <HI>bru&s;ht</HI></L>
<L>With <HI>fanning Gales,</HI> whil&s;t theirs are &s;oyl'd in <HI>Du&s;t.</HI></L>
<L>Our <HI>Herds</HI> are large as the <HI>Armenian</HI> breed,</L>
<L>And numerous as the <HI>Flow'rs,</HI> whereon they feed;</L>
<L>Yet are our <HI>Hills</HI> mo&s;t &s;tor'd with the in|crea&s;e</L>
<L>Of our white fruitful <HI>Flocks,</HI> which num|berle&s;s</L>
<L>As large a Summer <HI>Garment</HI> do be&s;tow</L>
<L>&V;pon the <HI>Hills,</HI> as <HI>Winter</HI> does of <HI>Snow:</HI></L>
<L>Which &s;horn the Natives for their <HI>Pomp</HI> &s;oon get</L>
<L><HI>Dyed</HI> in more <HI>colours,</HI> than the <HI>flowers</HI> they eat.</L>
<PB N="100" REF="53">
<L>Then from tho&s;e <HI>Hills,</HI> we &s;uch a pro&s;pect &s;py</L>
<L>Of Corn, Life's chief &s;upport, i'th' Valleys lye,</L>
<L>As if the Clouds dropt all their fatne&s;s there,</L>
<L>Or this I&s;le in its Golden-Age yet were:</L>
<L>Each fruitful Field's like tho&s;e the &s;acred lays</L>
<L>Of God's own Poet did vouch&s;afe to Prai&s;e,</L>
<L>Which he with joyful Mu&s;ick did adorn,</L>
<L>And made them &s;eem to Sing and Laugh with Corn.</L>
<L>Nature, to us &s;uch lofty Trees hath given,</L>
<L>Their Proud tops farther &s;eem from Earth than Heaven;</L>
<L>Who&s;e &s;turdy <HI>Arms</HI> &s;o va&s;tly they do &s;tretch,</L>
<L>As if the falling <HI>Meteors</HI> they would catch;</L>
<L>In <HI>bulk</HI> &s;o great, that when a <HI>few</HI> are fell'd,</L>
<L>To their great <HI>Lord,</HI> a numerous <HI>Fleet</HI> they yield.</L>
<L>And tho, at <HI>Home,</HI> they cover little Land,</L>
<L>Yet, when once Launch'd, the <HI>Ocean they command:</HI></L>
<L>Make our Dominions <HI>large,</HI> impo&s;e a <HI>Law</HI></L>
<L>To all on <HI>Seas,</HI> and keep the <HI>World</HI> in awe:</L>
<L>Whil&s;t <HI>Neptune,</HI> as his <HI>Tribute,</HI> every Day</L>
<L>Huge &s;hoals of <HI>Fi&s;h,</HI> his currant <HI>Coyn</HI> does Pay.</L>
<PB N="101" REF="53">
<L>Which when our <HI>Neighbours</HI> beg upon our <HI>Shore,</HI></L>
<L>Proclaims their <HI>Wants,</HI> our <HI>Charity,</HI> and <HI>Store.</HI></L>
<L>Our <HI>Rivers,</HI> too, &s;uch <HI>Trade</HI> and Plen|ty yields,</L>
<L>That they appear as fertile as our Fields.</L>
<L>Our Ancient <HI>Horts</HI> in <HI>Vineyards</HI> we de|cline,</L>
<L><HI>Apples</HI> and <HI>Pears</HI> pre&s;enting us with <HI>Wine.</HI></L>
<L>More of this <HI>Queen of I&s;les,</HI> I well might Sing,</L>
<L>And who &s;hould Rule it then, but our brave <HI>King?</HI></L>
<L>'Tis the World's <HI>choice&s;t Gift,</HI> and being &s;uch,</L>
<L>As <HI>Wonder</HI> cannot celebrate too much,</L>
<L>And <HI>You</HI> a <HI>Wonder</HI> too, 'twas therefore fit</L>
<L>Mean <HI>Spirits</HI> &s;hould yield, and <HI>You</HI> &s;hould Govern it.</L>
<L>William <HI>the Brave,</HI> May then <HI>Your</HI> war|like hand,</L>
<L>Pluck down all <HI>Tyrants,</HI> and Pre&s;erve this Land,</L>
<L>From <HI>Gallick Treachery:</HI> May no black Cloud</L>
<L>Eclip&s;e <HI>Your Virtues</HI> with a <HI>&s;ullen</HI> Shrowd.</L>
<L>May you, as th' Sun in <HI>Jo&s;hua</HI>'s time, repeat</L>
<L><HI>Your</HI> lengthned <HI>Hours,</HI> &s;tand long fix'd in <HI>Your Seat:</HI></L>
<PB N="102" REF="54">
<L>And when <HI>You</HI> leave this for a <HI>higher Sphere,</HI></L>
<L><HI>Set</HI> here in <HI>Peace,</HI> and <HI>Ri&s;e</HI> in <HI>Glory there.</HI></L>
<DIV2 TYPE="epigram">
<HEAD>An Iri&s;h Epigram.</HEAD>
<L>A Friend that in my Thoughts holds no &s;mall room,</L>
<L>Asking his &s;illy No&s;e-&s;uck'd Iri&s;h Groom, but you</L>
<L>If he had dre&s;t his Hor&s;e? mu&s;t note</L>
<L>It was when Hor&s;es u&s;e to &s;hed their Coat)</L>
<L><HI>Nil Mei&s;ter,</HI> he replies, <HI>Me take a care,</HI></L>
<L><HI>For dat, le&s;t</HI> off, <HI>Me Curry all de</HI> hair.</L>
<L>How, &s;miles the well-pleas'd Owner, This is fine;</L>
<L><HI>Curry</HI> his <HI>Coat,</HI> or I &s;hall <HI>Curry thine.</HI></L>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="epigram">
<PB N="103" REF="54">
<HEAD>Epigram.</HEAD>
<L>ONe wondring at an <HI>Iri&s;h Teig,</HI> who &s;pake</L>
<L>Much <HI>Non-&s;ence;</HI> and did every thing <HI>Mi&s;take:</HI></L>
<L>And tho' he long had liv'd in th' Engli&s;h <HI>Court,</HI></L>
<L>Was for no <HI>Bus'ne&s;s</HI> fit, and &s;carce for <HI>Sport.</HI></L>
<L>The Wonder's not, &s;ays one, there's &s;ome &s;uch Tools,</L>
<L>But that there's half a Kingdom of &s;uch Fools.</L>
</DIV2>
<TRAILER>FINIS.</TRAILER>
</DIV1>
</BODY>
</TEXT>
</EEBO>
</ETS>
