<!DOCTYPE ETS PUBLIC "-//UMDLPS//DTD EEBOPROOF 2.0//EN">
<ETS>
<TEMPHEAD>
<REVDESCR>
<CHANGE>
<DATE>2013-05-29</DATE>
<RESPSTMT>
<NAME>Sarah Wingo</NAME>
<RESP>MURP</RESP>
</RESPSTMT>
<ITEM>Proofed and reviewed as part of batch B130410.apex.</ITEM>
</CHANGE>
</REVDESCR>
</TEMPHEAD>
<EEBO>
<IDG S="marc" R="UM" ID="B08789">
<STC T="W">C4887A</STC>
<STC T="C">R171418</STC>
<BIBNO T="oclc">[ocm]64551111</BIBNO>
<VID>184479</VID>
</IDG>
<TEXT LANG="eng">
<FRONT>
<DIV1 TYPE="title page">
<PB REF="1" MS="y">
<PB REF="1" MS="y">
<PB REF="2">
<PB REF="2">
<P>THE Coffee-Mans Granado DISCHARGED UPON THE Maidens Complaint AGAINST COFFEE.</P>
<P>In a Dialogue between Mr. <HI>Black-burnt</HI> and <HI>Democritus;</HI> Wherein is Di&s;covered &s;everall Strange, Wonderful, and Miraculous Cures performed by <HI>COFFEE,</HI> (the like never heard of &s;ince the Creation.) With the names of the Per&s;ons, and Places of their abode, who were cured when left off by the Phy&s;itians.</P>
<P>ALSO Some Merry Pa&s;&s;ages between <HI>Peg</HI> and <HI>Cis,</HI> two Merry Milk-maids of <HI>I&s;lington,</HI> touching the rare Vertues of <HI>CHOCOLATE.</HI></P>
<P>Written by <HI>Don Bollico&s;go Armu<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="MURP" EXTENT="1 letter">haz,</HI> to confute the Au|thor of that Lying Pamphlet.</P>
<P>LONDON, Printed for J. John&s;on, 1663.</P>
<PB REF="3">
</DIV1>
</FRONT>
<BODY>
<DIV1 TYPE="dialogue">
<PB N="3" REF="3" MS="y">
<HEAD>A Dialogue between <HI>Democritus,</HI> and <HI>Mr.</HI> BLACK-BURNT.</HEAD>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Black-burnt.</SPEAKER>
<P>_WEll over-taken, whether now &s;o fa&s;t?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Democtitus.</SPEAKER>
<P>To &s;ee how that Book &s;eels I Print|ed la&s;t.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Black.</SPEAKER>
<P>What Book is that, good Sir, you late did &s;ell?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Democ.</SPEAKER>
<P>The <HI>Maids Complaint,</HI> I hope you like it well.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Black.</SPEAKER>
<LG>
<L>So well E'faith, that had I my de&s;ire,</L>
<L>I'de burn thy &s;elf, and Book in &s;corching fire.</L>
</LG>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Democ.</SPEAKER>
<LG>
<L>I hope not &s;o, for now I do recant,</L>
<L>And will its worth beyond Rich <HI>Alegant,</HI></L>
<L>Or <HI>Nector</HI> rai&s;e, &s;o that the World &s;hall think,</L>
<L>It is for health beyond all Cordial drink.</L>
</LG>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Black.</SPEAKER>
<LG>
<L>If &s;o you do, then will I rai&s;e five pound,</L>
<L>To gratifie thy worth in &s;hillings round.</L>
</LG>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Democ.</SPEAKER>
<LG>
<L>You are the Man Sir; Money is the Thing</L>
<L>That does a <HI>POETS</HI> Wits to Bondage bring:</L>
<L>I like your promi&s;e; now my Pen &s;hall crack,</L>
<L>And rai&s;e thy <HI>Coffee</HI> higher far then Sack;</L>
<L>I'le cau&s;e the gods them&s;elves that drank before</L>
<L><HI>Nector, Ambro&s;ia,</HI> thy Drink to adore;</L>
<L><HI>Coffee</HI> &s;hall now make <HI>Bacchus</HI> poor, and he</L>
<L>Shall beg, whil'&s;t all his Cu&s;tome comes to thee.</L>
</LG>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Black.</SPEAKER>
<LG>
<L>O happy is this day that I thee met,</L>
<L>Who was before near drowned in a Sweat;</L>
<PB N="4" REF="4">
<L> Thy very promi&s;e made to me has cur'd</L>
<L>That Agony, which I before indur'd;</L>
<L>For now my gains will be a hundred more</L>
<L>By Coffee-drinking then it was before.</L>
</LG>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Democ.</SPEAKER>
<LG>
<L>Give me your Money, and I will be bound</L>
<L>To make each penny that you gain'd a pound:</L>
<L>If that you do not by your <HI>Coffee</HI> get</L>
<L>More in a day, then I by twelve moneths wit.</L>
<L>For in its prai&s;e &s;uch worth declare I &s;hall,</L>
<L>Will make your Drink Infallible to all.</L>
<L>All <HI>Europe</HI> &s;hall believe (though black as Ink)</L>
<L>It is like Chri&s;tal; and no other Drink</L>
<L>VVill health pre&s;erve, &s;o that in time you'l &s;ee,</L>
<L>Your <HI>Coffee-Hou&s;e</HI> &s;hall never empty be.</L>
</LG>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Black.</SPEAKER>
<LG>
<L>If it be &s;o, here Earne&s;t take to day,</L>
<L>And Quarterly I will allow thee pay.</L>
</LG>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Democ.</SPEAKER>
<LG>
<L>I thank you Sir, I hope you by and by</L>
<L>VVill &s;how the Cures, as they in Order lye.</L>
</LG>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Black.</SPEAKER>
<P>But fir&s;t, a little to tell thee of thy Errors <HI>Democritus,</HI> for I mu&s;t give thee a gentle La&s;h or too for thy ambition &s;ince thy Planet-&s;tricken brain caus'd thee &s;o to abu&s;e us, and that contrary to &s;o many Authors who have in Large Volumes di&s;|covered the worth of this Liquor for cure of all Maladies.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Demock.</SPEAKER>
<P>I know 'its good for the Drop&s;ie, and tho&s;e that are not of a hot Con&s;titution.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Black.</SPEAKER>
<P>But thou &s;ay'&s;t again, that it is made of Old Cru&s;ts, and &s;hreds of Leather burnt and beaten to powder.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Democ.</SPEAKER>
<P>VVhy, to tell you truth, the &s;cent to any rea&s;onable man will &s;eem no le&s;s then &s;ome &s;uch compound; Old <HI>Hew&s;on</HI> being a likely blind <HI>Cobler</HI> to plot any thing again&s;t the <HI>Engli&s;h</HI> to be reveng'd for his Exilement.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Black.</SPEAKER>
<P>But we can &s;hew Patterns of the Berries to convince thee of thy Error. Then thou &s;ay'&s;t we gain ten pence in the &s;hilling; well we may, for if <HI>Mountebanks</HI> can take ten pound for what co&s;t but two pence; and it may be <HI>Kill</HI> in&s;tead of <HI>Cure</HI> the Patients; who would grudge a penny a di&s;h for their healths &s;ake for that which is <HI>Infallible</HI> for all <HI>Maladies.</HI> Thou might'&s;t better complain of the <HI>Long-Lane</HI> Jews, who take 6. d. a moneth
<PB N="5" REF="4"> for u&s;e in the pound, and a good pawn, which amounts to a|bove 30 <HI>l. per an.</HI> be&s;ide <HI>Bill</HI> money; and many times 6. d for an odd day if it lie above a moneth; nay, &s;ome of them 12 d. a moneth, which is 60. <HI>l. per annum</HI> be&s;ides the <HI>bill.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Democ.</SPEAKER>
<P>I have an old black Cloake can te&s;tifie that well enough, for &s;ome of tho&s;e Moth-eating Cormorants have knaw'd as much <HI>Wool</HI> off from it in <HI>Chater-hou&s;e-Lane,</HI> as is worth 25. s. when it co&s;t but &s;ix and twenty at fir&s;t, &s;o that it will hardly yield five groats in a forreign Country, if &s;ent for a Venter.</P>
<P>Now <HI>I</HI> would fain hear the rare Cures that have been per|formed by <HI>Coffee,</HI> as <HI>I</HI> may hereafter give a better account to the drinkers of that Liquor.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Blac.</SPEAKER>
<P>Fir&s;t, <HI>Benjamin Bad-cock</HI> drank <HI>Coffee</HI> in <HI>Layden,</HI> and his Wife Mis. <HI>Wood-a-mores</HI> daughter of that Town remained bar|ren four years, after which he left drinking <HI>Coffee,</HI> and in three quarters of a year &s;he had a goodly chopping boy.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Democ.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>I</HI> confe&s;&s;e then it is better for barrenne&s;s, then a|gain&s;t it.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Black.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>Anthony Lamley</HI> of <HI>White-chappel</HI> being troubled with a <HI>Priapi&s;mus</HI> a long time, drank <HI>Coffee,</HI> after which he had no|thing ever &s;een to &s;tand but his Ears.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Democ.</SPEAKER>
<P>This is al&s;o <HI>Probatum E&s;t, I</HI> was not &s;o good a Doctor before. But have you any more.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Black.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes, <HI>Hel&s;en</HI> a Leather-weaver in <HI>Dalmacia</HI> was trou|bled with a Con&s;umption four years, and fell to <HI>Coffee</HI> a long time, by which he was &s;o cured, that his pocket was as bare as a Birds-ar&s;e.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>D<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="MURP" EXTENT="1 letter">m<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="MURP" EXTENT="1 letter">c.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>I</HI> profe&s;s my Cloak is e'ne &s;ick of the &s;ame di&s;ea&s;e, and <HI>I</HI> think as well cured it is al&s;o <HI>Probatum E&s;t.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Black.</SPEAKER>
<P>Another nam'd <HI>Richard Banco</HI> of <HI>Catolougo</HI> lay of a dead <HI>Pai&s;ie</HI> three years, and drinking <HI>Coffee,</HI> was &s;o perfectly cu<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="MURP" EXTENT="1 letter">'d, that the next day he was &s;een to go throrow the High|&s;treet upon 4. mens &s;houlders, to the admiration of his Neigh|bours who had not &s;een him &s;ome years before.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Democ.</SPEAKER>
<P>This is a &s;trange cure, but <HI>I</HI> &s;uppo&s;e he was &s;ome great Gyant, in regard he went upon four pair of Legs.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Black.</SPEAKER>
<P>Another cal'd <HI>Calobra</HI> in <HI>Spantego,</HI> was troubled with a dimne&s;s of &s;ight, and drinking <HI>Coffee,</HI> an hour after he
<PB N="6" REF="5"> broke his Fa&s;t with a Me&s;s of Milk-Pottage, and the white of his Eyes drop't into the di&s;h.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Democ.</SPEAKER>
<P>I &s;hould not wi&s;h mine there, though his Cure was <HI>Probatim E&s;t.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Black.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>Anne Marina</HI> of <HI>Rotterdam</HI> was troubled with a Corn on her upper Lip, the more it was cut, the bigger it grew, &s;o that &s;he at the la&s;t drank <HI>Coffee,</HI> and the Corn dropt into the Di&s;h as &s;he held it to her mouth, as clean as an <HI>Acron</HI> out of the <HI>Shell.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Democ.</SPEAKER>
<P>I &s;hould like this Cure be&s;t, if <HI>Coffee</HI> would bring the Corns &s;o ea&s;ily from my Toes.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Blac.</SPEAKER>
<P>In <HI>Spellantego, Johannes Delmonack</HI> drank Coffee for the <HI>Morbus Gallicus,</HI> and the bridge was &s;o dry'd, that (as he lay a &s;leep at night with his mouth open) his No&s;e dropt in and choackt him.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Democ.</SPEAKER>
<P>This was a rare Cure, but for that trick Ile have mine &s;ow'd on fa&s;ter.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Black.</SPEAKER>
<P>One <HI>Ro&s;e Bulborne</HI> being troubled with the blew <HI>Jaun|dies,</HI> and drinking <HI>Coffee,</HI> took her bed, turn'd black, and the Searchers coming the next day to view her, in&s;erted her in the Clerks book, to be put in the <HI>Bill</HI> of <HI>Mortality</HI> the next week.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Democ.</SPEAKER>
<P>This was a &s;trange cure, and I wonder the <HI>Dyers</HI> do not prove good cu&s;tomers to you, for there's but little good <HI>Black</HI> in <HI>England.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Black.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>Theodore Fla&s;hbooth</HI> of <HI>Lime-hou&s;e</HI> being &s;topt with flegm, drank <HI>Coffee</HI> till he was &s;o dry'd up, that an unskilful <HI>Mountebank</HI> gave order to let him blood, in&s;tead of which i&s;|&s;ued forth du&s;t and vapour, that he was &s;mother'd to a per|fect cure. And is intended to write a book in prai&s;e of <HI>Coffee,</HI> which when publi&s;ht, will cau&s;e much admiration to the Reader.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Democ.</SPEAKER>
<P>I &s;hall buy one of tho&s;e books to increa&s;e my Libra|ry; but the&s;e are cures I never heard of before. I know <HI>Coffee</HI> is good for &s;ome things, but not for hot bodies.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Black.</SPEAKER>
<P>For mo&s;t di&s;ea&s;es it is good, though not for Con&s;ti|tutions that are dry and hot.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Democ.</SPEAKER>
<P>What, have you no other Liquor but <HI>Coffee?</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Blac.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes, we have <HI>Bracket, China-Ale,</HI> and pure <HI>Cider.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Demo.</SPEAKER>
<LG>
<L>Truly tho&s;e Liquors are admirable, I could live</L>
<L>In a Spring from whence &s;uch Liquor flowes,</L>
<L>Although I had but room for Mouth and No&s;e.</L>
</LG>
</SP>
<SP>
<PB N="7" REF="5">
<SPEAKER>Black.</SPEAKER>
<P>But what &s;ay&s;t thou to <HI>Chocholate?</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Democ.</SPEAKER>
<P>I like that well for Lads and La&s;&s;es, therefore I'le leave it to them to di&s;pute of.</P>
<LG>
<L>Come Mr. <HI>Black-burnt</HI> let's no longer &s;tay,</L>
<L>Yonder comes <HI>Pris</HI> and <HI>Cis,</HI> let us away.</L>
</LG>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Blac.</SPEAKER>
<LG>
<L>Democritus I thank thee for thy pain</L>
<L>VVee'l leave the Milk-maids in a merry &s;train.</L>
</LG>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Democ.</SPEAKER>
<LG>
<L>The Maids by me &s;hall never be perplext,</L>
<L>I know that <HI>Chocolate</HI> is their Text.</L>
</LG>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Cis.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well met hone&s;t <HI>Peg;</HI> whether away &s;o fa&s;t.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Peg.</SPEAKER>
<P>I'am going to Old <HI>Bullocks</HI> to &s;peak with his man <HI>Roger</HI> that I may hear what news he brings from the <HI>Coffee-Hou&s;e.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Cis.</SPEAKER>
<P>Fogh, <HI>Coffee-Hou&s;e,</HI> what, doth he drink that black, na&s;ty, Hel-burnt Liquor. he'l ere long bring him&s;elf to nothing as our Man <HI>Tom</HI> has done already.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Peg.</SPEAKER>
<P>No, he drinks <HI>Chocolate,</HI> which is a rich drink indeed; 'twil make him as &s;trong in the back as a Lion; he's as nimble as a Squirril, as brisk as a body-Low&s;e, and as lively as an Eel, only by the vertue of that Liquor; i'ts a brave plea&s;ant Li|quor, for I have drank of it my &s;elf.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Cis.</SPEAKER>
<P>Prethee <HI>Peg</HI> tell me what manner of Liquor that is?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Peg.</SPEAKER>
<P>Marry &s;uch Liquor as would make your teeth water to ta&s;t it, for I'am &s;ure it made me come too't &s;o lu&s;tily, that I &s;hall never forget it.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Cis.</SPEAKER>
<P>Thou mak&s;t me long for &s;ome of that, what is it made off?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Peg.</SPEAKER>
<P>Efaith <HI>Cis,</HI> its made of good new Milk (with which I &s;erve a <HI>Coffee-hou&s;e</HI> every day) which is well boyld with yolks of Eggs, &s;tore of Sugar, and a dainty &s;weet ta&s;ted thing called <HI>Chocolate.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Cis.</SPEAKER>
<P>Marry <HI>Peg</HI> that can't chu&s;e but be good indeed.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Peg.</SPEAKER>
<P>I have found it &s;o, to the co&s;t of poor <HI>Roger,</HI> and &s;ome pain to my &s;elf, but &s;weet meat mu&s;t have &s;owre fawce.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Cis.</SPEAKER>
<P>Prethee <HI>Peg</HI> tell me the whole &s;tory.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Peg.</SPEAKER>
<P>In truth Ile deal plainly with thee; our man <HI>Roger</HI> after dinner about this time twelve moneth per&s;waded me to go to a <HI>Coffee-hou&s;e,</HI> where we drank &s;tore of this <HI>Chocolate,</HI> and in the afternoon go|ing towards <HI>High-berry-barn</HI> to milk the Kine, I met <HI>Roger,</HI> who was grown &s;o lu&s;ty by the vertue of that Liquor, that he gave me a green gown, tumbled me on a bank, and after &s;ome amo|rous ki&s;&s;es, I could not deny any courte&s;ie he de&s;ired: &s;o that
<PB N="8" REF="6"> at la&s;t (like a mettle&s;ome Lad) he &s;tole away my Maiden-head, which to my &s;orrow proved a Timpany in my belly, &amp; in three quarters of a year I fell in Mother Midnights hands, and was cured of the Tinpany, which had two Legs, and lies now at <HI>Ro|gers</HI> charge, ten <HI>&s;hillings</HI> a moneth, be&s;ides <HI>Blankets, Linnen,</HI> and <HI>Cradle;</HI> but yet he is &s;o kind, continuing at this Liquor that I have little cau&s;e to repent my bargain, in re&s;pect of his Love and Loyalty.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Cis.</SPEAKER>
<P>Say'&s;t thou &s;o <HI>Peg,</HI> Efaith Ile &s;ee what I can do to per|&s;wade our <HI>Tom</HI> to leave <HI>Coffee,</HI> and drink <HI>Chocolate,</HI> that I may enjoy a little of the ble&s;&s;ing other Maids have, though I &s;ell one of my Fathers Cows to draw him too't.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Peg.</SPEAKER>
<LG>
<L>And &s;o i'ts be&s;t dear &s;i&s;ter <HI>Ci&s;ly</HI> try.</L>
<L>Although you by the walls a moneth do lye.</L>
</LG>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Cis.</SPEAKER>
<LG>
<L>The charge &s;hall lie upon my Fathers &s;core,</L>
<L>Though, when I've try'd, I lie a moneth or more;</L>
<L>I've now learn'd wit<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="MURP" EXTENT="1 letter"> the thanks Ile give to you,</L>
<L>And till we meet again, <HI>dear Cis,</HI> adieu.</L>
</LG>
</SP>
<DIV2 TYPE="poem">
<HEAD>In An&s;wer to the Po&s;cript of the &s;uppo&s;ed Mountebank DEMOCRITUS.</HEAD>
<LG>
<L><HI>DEmocritus</HI> was drow&s;ie when he writ</L>
<L>In Dialogue, the Fragments of his Wit,</L>
<L>If not a&s;leep, or el&s;e he would have &s;ought,</L>
<L>And found the&s;e Cures that were by <HI>Coffee</HI> wrought;</L>
<L>Both for the <HI>Pal&s;y, Madne&s;s, Morbus, Ptifick,</HI></L>
<L>So that they'l need no Mountebank or Phy&s;ick</L>
<L>For <HI>Gout</HI> or <HI>Scurvy,</HI> it doth do no le&s;s</L>
<L>For <HI>Jaundies, Timpany,</HI> and <HI>Barrenne&s;s,</HI></L>
<L>Which are in order in this Treati&s;e writ,</L>
<L>To prove <HI>Democritus</HI> be&s;ides his wit.</L>
<L>He often Writeth of the <HI>Stigyon</HI> Lake,</L>
<L>As though he would to Hell a Voyage make,</L>
<L>Old <HI>Charon</HI> can (for's Labour) grant no more,</L>
<L>But quit a penny for his pa&s;&s;age ore:</L>
<L>Thus to confute him, if this will not do,</L>
<L>Ile pawn my <HI>Coffee-Hou&s;e</HI> and <HI>Coffee</HI> too,</L>
<L>Till when, <HI>Democritus</HI> I bid farewell,</L>
<L>I'le to my Chamber, you or'e <HI>STIX</HI> to <HI>HELL.</HI></L>
</LG>
<PB REF="6">
<PB REF="7">
<PB REF="7" MS="y">
</DIV2>
<TRAILER>FINIS.</TRAILER>
</DIV1>
</BODY>
</TEXT>
</EEBO>
</ETS>
