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<DATE>2012-10-03</DATE>
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<NAME>John Pas</NAME>
<RESP>MURP</RESP>
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<ITEM>Proofed and reviewed as part of batch B120719.pdcc.</ITEM>
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<EEBO>
<IDG S="marc" R="UM" ID="B08686">
<STC T="W">C1991B</STC>
<STC T="C">R173667</STC>
<BIBNO T="oclc">[ocm]64551059</BIBNO>
<VID>184440</VID>
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<TEXT LANG="eng">
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<DIV1 TYPE="character">
<PB REF="1">
<HEAD>The Character of A Torey.</HEAD>
<P><HI>_A TORY</HI> is a <HI>Mon&s;ter</HI> with an <HI>Engli&s;h Face,</HI> a <HI>French Heart,</HI> and an <HI>Iri&s;h Con&s;cience.</HI> A Crea|ture of a Large <HI>Forehead,</HI> Prodigious <HI>Mouth,</HI> Supple <HI>Hams,</HI> and no <HI>Brains.</HI></P>
<P>The Country-mans De&s;cription of him, was both Rhyme and Rea&s;on;
<Q><L>Roary, Whorey, Sworey, Scorey,</L>
<L><HI>That's a</HI> TOREY:</L></Q></P>
<P>For <HI>Noi&s;e</HI> and <HI>Debauchery, Oathes</HI> and <HI>Begga|ry,</HI> are the Four <HI>Elements</HI> that Compo&s;e him: His <HI>Arms</HI> are tho&s;e of <HI>I&s;|&s;acher,</HI> An <HI>A&s;s Couchant;</HI> and his Mark is a <HI>Red-Ribbon</HI> in his Capp, to &s;hew, That he belongs to the <HI>Scarlet Whore,</HI> by her Bloody Livery; or el&s;e, you may take it for a <HI>Wedding favour,</HI> That whenever <HI>Popery</HI> and <HI>Tyranny</HI> &s;hall make a <HI>Match,</HI> he would fain be a <HI>Bride-man.</HI></P>
<P>He &s;eems De&s;cended from <HI>E&s;au,</HI> &s;ince he is &s;o ready to Truck away an Invaluable <HI>Birthright</HI> for a <HI>French Kick&s;haw,</HI> and a Nau&s;eous Me&s;s of <HI>Ita|lian Pottage.</HI> Or if you will run his <HI>Pedigree</HI> higher, you may call him a <HI>Noddite,</HI> one of the Race of <HI>Cain</HI> the Murderer, that would fain be <HI>Per&s;ecuting</HI> his Brother, meerly becau&s;e he is <HI>more Righteous</HI> than Him|&s;elf.</P>
<P>Take our <HI>TORIES</HI> in the <HI>State,</HI> and they are <HI>Caterpillers</HI> that De|vour every <HI>Green thing</HI> in a Flouri&s;hing Kingdom, and would Stab <HI>Li|berty</HI> and <HI>Property</HI> to the Heart, That they them&s;elves, like <HI>Bea&s;ts of Prey,</HI> might live wholly upon <HI>Spoil and Rapine;</HI> fit only to be Subjects to <HI>Nebuchadnezzar,</HI> when bereav'd of Human Sence, he Hearded with the <HI>Wild A&s;&s;es</HI> of the <HI>De&s;ert.</HI> Though they boa&s;t them&s;elves <HI>Engli&s;hmen,</HI> yet they Act in all things as <HI>Antipodes</HI> to their Native Country; and &s;eem rather <HI>Bog-trotters</HI> Tran&s;planted, the Spawn of &s;ome <HI>Red-&s;hanks,</HI> or the By-blows of the Old <HI>Lazy Lord-Danes,</HI> that once Domineer'd over our Ance&s;tors: They are a &s;ort of <HI>Wild Boars,</HI> that would root out the Con|&s;titution, and break the Ballance of our happy Government; and render that <HI>De&s;potick,</HI> which hitherto has been both E&s;tabli&s;hed and bounded by <HI>Law. Fauxes</HI> in Ma&s;querade, that with <HI>Dark-lanthorn</HI> Polices, would at once blow up the Two Bulwarks of our Freedom, <HI>PARLIAMENTS</HI> and <HI>J&V;RIES;</HI> making the <HI>Fir&s;t,</HI> only a <HI>Parliament of Paris:</HI> and the <HI>Latter,</HI> but meer Tools, to <HI>Eccho</HI> back the plea&s;ure of a Judge. They are &s;o certain, That <HI>Monarchy</HI> is <HI>Jure Divino;</HI> That they look upon all Peo|ple living under <HI>Ari&s;tocracys,</HI> or <HI>Democracys,</HI> to be in a State of <HI>Damma|tion.</HI> And fancie, That the <HI>Grand Seignior,</HI> the <HI>Czar of Mu&s;covy,</HI> and the <HI>French King</HI> dropt down from <HI>Heaven</HI> with <HI>Crowns</HI> on their Heads, and that all their Subjects were Born with <HI>Saddles</HI> on their Backs. Your True <HI>TORY</HI> is as fond of <HI>Slavery,</HI> as others are of <HI>Liberty,</HI> and will be at as much Pains and <HI>Charge</HI> to obtain it; for he Envies the Happine&s;s of <HI>Canvas Breeches</HI> and <HI>Wooden Shoes;</HI> and extreamly Admires the Mercy of the <HI>Inqui&s;ition.</HI> He Rails at <HI>Magna Charta</HI> as the Seed-plot of <HI>Sedition;</HI> Swears, That it was fir&s;t obtained by <HI>Rebellion,</HI> and that all our Fore-fa|thers were <HI>Rogues and Fools,</HI> and did not under&s;tand <HI>Prerogative.</HI> He won|ders, why People &s;hould &s;quander away their time at the <HI>Inns of Court,</HI> or what need there is either of the <HI>Common Law,</HI> or the <HI>Statute-Book,</HI> the King might at any time, with quicker di&s;patch declare his Plea&s;ure in any Point or Controver&s;ie, and each Loyal Subject were bound to Acqui|e&s;ce, on pain of Damnation. Yet after all, his boa&s;ted <HI>Loyalty</HI> extends no further than a Drunken Health; He <HI>Roars</HI> and <HI>Swaggers,</HI> but does not <HI>Serve</HI> the King: He promi&s;es Mountains, and by <HI>Lies</HI> and Mi&s;repre&s;en|tations, gives <HI>Fal&s;e Mea&s;ures,</HI> but performs nothing: Nor is it the Cau&s;e, but the Cru&s;t, that he Barks for.</P>
<P>Then in Relation to the Church,&mdash;<HI>TORY</HI> is either a <HI>Crab-Prote|&s;tant,</HI> that <HI>crawls backwards</HI> as fa&s;t as he can to <HI>Rome;</HI> or at be&s;t, but the
<PB REF="1"><HI>Catts-foot</HI> wherewith the Romi&s;h <HI>Monkeys</HI> Claw the Prote&s;tant Religion till the Blood comes: one that does their Drugery though he has not always the Wit to &s;ee it, and all the Wages he mu&s;t expect, is <HI>Polypheme's</HI> Curte&s;ie, To be Devoured <HI>La&s;t.</HI> He is a <HI>Flambeau</HI> kindled by the <HI>Je&s;uits,</HI> and flung in, to make a <HI>Combu&s;tion</HI> among&s;t us. Whil&s;t we were Hunt|ing down their <HI>Plot</HI> with a full Cry, they &s;lipt in this <HI>Deep-mouth'd</HI> Hound, who &s;pending on a <HI>fal&s;e Scent</HI> diverted the Cha&s;e, and &s;o the <HI>Po|pi&s;h Pu&s;s &s;quats &s;afe in her Form:</HI> and now quitting the Pur&s;uit of the <HI>Foxes,</HI> he begins to Worry the <HI>Sheep.</HI> He pretends high for the Church of <HI>England;</HI> but as he under&s;tands not her Doctrin, &s;o he Di&s;honours her by his Lewd Conver&s;ation: What a pretty Pious Confe&s;&s;ion of Faith is it, to hear a <HI>Bully</HI> Cry,&mdash;<HI>God-Dam-Mce, I am of the Church of</HI> Eng|land, <HI>and all the</HI> Presbyterians <HI>are Sons of Whores.</HI> Indeed, the only proof both of his <HI>Religion</HI> and <HI>Courage,</HI> is, That he Swears mo&s;t frequently by that <HI>Tremendous</HI> Name, at which, le&s;&s;er Devils Tremble: and his Chri&s;ti|anity con&s;i&s;ts in <HI>Cur&s;ing</HI> all tho&s;e that he is plea&s;ed to call <HI>Phanaticks,</HI> and <HI>Phanaticks</HI> he calls all tho&s;e, that are not content to be either <HI>Papi&s;ts</HI> or <HI>A|thei&s;ts.</HI> His <HI>Tongue</HI> is always Tipt with <HI>Dam&mdash;mee,</HI> and <HI>Forty one;</HI> and &s;o <HI>hot,</HI> (being &s;et on Fire of <HI>Hell</HI>) that he is fain to drink <HI>Healths,</HI> (&s;ome|times to the <HI>Pope,</HI> and &s;ometimes to the <HI>Devil,)</HI> Sixty times an Hour to quench it; and then Belches out <HI>Huzza</HI>'s as fa&s;t, as Mount <HI>Strombulo</HI> does Fire and Brim&s;tone.</P>
<P>Whil&s;t he Clamours at <HI>Di&s;&s;enters</HI> for not coming to <HI>Church,</HI> he thinks 'tis Canonical enough to <HI>Sleep</HI> over the <HI>Lordsday</HI> to Dige&s;t the Fumes of <HI>Saturdays</HI> Debauch, or take a walk in <HI>Guild-Hall-yard,</HI> peep in at the Prea|cher, and pre&s;ently Retire to the Tavern for a whet to Dinner, or el&s;e to meet the Club of <HI>Witty Good-mockers</HI> by <HI>Fleet-Ditch</HI> &s;ide, and Droll away the day in Bla&s;phemy, Ridiculing Religious Duties, or Inventing <HI>Jack-Pudding Lies</HI> of &s;ome pretended <HI>Nonconformi&s;ts</HI> Preaching. If he be &s;ome|what of a more Serious Temper, he is as very a &s;uper&s;titious <HI>Bigot,</HI> as any in the <HI>Papacy,</HI> he would rather have no Preaching than that the Surplic<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter"> &s;hould be left off, and thinks his Child not <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 span"> it be not done with the &s;ign of the <HI>Cro<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="1 letter">s,</HI> he counts <HI>Opus operatum</HI> <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="KEYERS" EXTENT="2 letters">cient, and if he have but been at <HI>Common-Prayer,</HI> and made his <HI>Re&s;pon&s;es</HI> loud enough to drown the Clark, and had the Par&s;ons Ble&s;&s;ing, his Task is done and all is &s;afe. Fle&s;h on a <HI>Friday</HI> is more Abomination to Him, than his Neighbours Bed, and he Abhors more not to <HI>Bow</HI> at the Syllables of the word <HI>Je&s;us,</HI> than to Swear by the name of <HI>God.</HI></P>
<P>He has got a <HI>New Engli&s;h Dictionary</HI> Framed by the Indefatigable Skill of <HI>Heraclitus</HI> and the <HI>Ob&s;ervator,</HI> whereby he Traver&s;ties the mo&s;t Loyal ho|ne&s;t Sen&s;e into <HI>Bla&s;phemy</HI> and <HI>Trea&s;on.</HI> Talk &s;oberly of <HI>Religion,</HI> and he Elaps you over the Face with Here&s;y, Schi&s;m, Fanatici&s;m and Faction, or roundly calls you <HI>Confounded Whigg,</HI> and &s;o you are Confuted. Urge never &s;o mode&s;tly <HI>Legal Fundamental Rights,</HI> and mention Irregularities, though in a place appointed to Remedy them, he cries out, <HI>Rebellion! Trea&s;on!</HI> You <HI>Depo&s;e the King!</HI> You <HI>Arraign the Government</HI> &amp;c. Mention the <HI>Com|mons</HI> of <HI>England</HI> and the <HI>General Sen&s;e</HI> of the Nation, and he exclaims, Dam the <HI>Mobile</HI> and your <HI>Appeals</HI> to the <HI>Rabble;</HI> And yet at the &s;ame time Courts and Applauds Tagg Ragg and Long-tail, the <HI>Cooks and Chandlers of New Sarum,</HI> and &s;uch other <HI>Wor&s;hipful Patriots,</HI> for declaring their three half-penny Judgments of the highe&s;t Affairs of State, in their <HI>Ad|dre&s;&s;es.</HI> And as for the two la&s;t Parliaments, every petty <HI>Chap-man,</HI> or <HI>Ap|prentice-Boy,</HI> takes upon him to Cen&s;ure the grave Proceedings of tho&s;e <HI>Venerable Senates,</HI> as malepartly as if they had been but a Company of Fidlers.</P>
<P>Yet &s;till he fears not <HI>God,</HI> &s;o much as a <HI>Parliament:</HI> But the rea&s;on why he Bla&s;phemes the <HI>one,</HI> and Rails at the <HI>other,</HI> is becau&s;e as he really be|leives not a Future Judgment in the <HI>other</HI> World, So he puts <HI>far off</HI> the other (to him) evil day in <HI>this,</HI> and hopes to E&s;cape the Ju&s;tice of both, by the Mediation of Saint <HI>Noli Pro&s;equi.</HI></P>
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<DIV1 TYPE="colophon">
<P><HI>LONDON:</HI> Printed for <HI>William Inghal</HI> the Elder, Bookbinder. 1681.</P>
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