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<DATE>2010-10-07</DATE>
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<NAME>Olivia Bottum</NAME>
<RESP>MURP</RESP>
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<ITEM>Did text and markup review.</ITEM>
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<IDG S="marc" R="UM" ID="B05024">
<STC T="W">R1748</STC>
<BIBNO T="oclc">51784624</BIBNO>
<VID>175034</VID>
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<TEXT LANG="eng">
<FRONT>
<DIV1 TYPE="publisher's advertisement">
<PB REF="1">
<HEAD><HI>Books printed for, and &s;old by</HI> R. Wellington.</HEAD>
<P>THe Hi&s;tory of <HI>Polybius</HI> the <HI>Megalopolitan,</HI> containing an Account of the Tran&s;acti|ons of the whole World, but principally of the <HI>Roman</HI> People, in 3 Vol. tran&s;lated by Sir <HI>Henry Sheers</HI> and Mr. <HI>Dryden,</HI> the like never before ex|tant: Price ten Shillings.</P>
<P>A Di&s;cour&s;e of the Nature and Faculties of Man, in &s;everal <HI>E&s;&s;ays,</HI> with &s;ome Con&s;idera|tions on the Occurrences of Human Life; by <HI>Tim. Nour&s;e,</HI> Gent. price 4 Shillings.</P>
<P>The Hi&s;tory and Novels of the late Ingenious Mrs. <HI>Behn</HI> collected into one Vol. viz. <HI>Oroonoko,</HI> or <HI>The Royal Slave:</HI> The Fair Jilt, or <HI>Prince Tar|quin: Agves de Ca&s;tro,</HI> or <HI>The Force of Generous Love:</HI> The Lover's Watch, or the Art of Make|ing Love: The Ladies Looking-gla&s;s to dre&s;s them&s;elves by: The Lucky Mi&s;take: Memoirs of the Court of the King of <HI>Bantam:</HI> The Nun, or the Perjur'd Beauty: The Adventures of the Black Lady. The&s;e 3 never before publi&s;h'd, to|gether with her Life and Memoirs, written by one of the <HI>Fair Sex;</HI> interwoven with &s;everal Love-Letters, which pa&s;&s;ed beeween her and <HI>Myn Heer Van Bruin,</HI> a <HI>Dutch</HI> Merchant, the third Edition enlarged; price 5 Shillings.</P>
<P>A brief and ea&s;y Method to under&s;tand the <HI>Ro|man</HI> Hi&s;tory, with an exact Chron. of the Reign of the Emperors, and an Account of the mo&s;t Eminent Authors, when they flouri&s;h'd; and an Abridgment of the <HI>Roman</HI> Antiquities and Cu|&s;toms, by way of Dialogue, for the u&s;e of the Duke of <HI>Burgundy:</HI> Done out of <HI>French,</HI> with large Additions, by Mr. <HI>Tho. Brown;</HI> price two Shillings.</P>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="title page">
<PB REF="1">
<P>Familiar Letters: Vol. II.</P>
<P>CONTAINING Thirty Six LETTERS, By the Right Honourable <HI>John,</HI> late Earl of Rochester. <HI>Printed from his Original Papers.</HI></P>
<P>WITH Letters and Speeches, BY The late Duke of <HI>Buck|ingham,</HI> The Honourable <HI>Hen|ry Savile,</HI> E&s;q, Sir <HI>George Etheridge,</HI> to &s;everal Per&s;ons of Honour.</P>
<P>And <HI>LETTERS,</HI> By &s;everal Eminent Hands.</P>
<P><HI>London:</HI> Printed for <HI>Rich. Wellington,</HI> at the <HI>Lute</HI> in St. <HI>Paul</HI>'s Church-yard. 1699.</P>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="dedication">
<PB REF="2">
<PB REF="2">
<HEAD>TO Sir <HI>EDWIN SADLER,</HI> B^t. OF <HI>Temple-Din&s;ley,</HI> in <HI>Hertford&s;hire.</HI></HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Honoured SIR,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>THo' &s;ome may accu&s;e me of Pre&s;umption, in of|fering this <HI>Collection of Letters</HI> to your Patronage, without ha|ving the Honour of your Ac|quaintance; yet, con&s;idering the <HI>Merits</HI> of the <HI>Noble Au|thors</HI> concern'd in it, and your own, all Impartial Judges will acquit me, and applaud my Choice. Since not to know the Intere&s;t you, Sir, have in the Republick of Letters, and what our Country has ow'd to the happy Coun&s;els of your Great
<PB REF="3">
Ance&s;tors, is to be equally un|acquainted with our Hi&s;tory, and with all tho&s;e whom you Honour with any Intimacy. In the fir&s;t we &s;hall find, what a con&s;iderable Figure Sir <HI>Ralph Sadler,</HI> your Noble Progenitor, once made in the Publick Af|fairs of this Nation. Among the latter, we &s;hall meet with no Man more Celebrated for the Politer Studies, and that true <HI>Genero&s;ity,</HI> which compo&s;e a Fine Gentleman: and in you, Sir, give us an agreeable Proof of the pre&s;ent Care <HI>Providence</HI> takes of Eminent Merit.</P>
<P>The Reputation of the Viva|city and Wit of my Lord <HI>Ro|che&s;ter,</HI> is &s;o e&s;tabli&s;h'd, that it is not in the Power of tho&s;e Ill|natur'd <HI>Criticks,</HI> de&s;crib'd by Him&s;elf, that
<Q><PB REF="3">
<L><HI>Are dully vain of being hard</HI></L>
<L><HI>to plea&s;e,</HI></L></Q>
to le&s;&s;en his E&s;teem. The great Succe&s;s of the Fir&s;t Volume, has made this evident; of which this Second (I hope) will be a farther Proof.</P>
<P>The late Duke of <HI>Buckingham,</HI> Mr. <HI>Savile,</HI> Sir <HI>George Etheridge,</HI> bring their own Credentials: And as for the re&s;t that make up this Book, I &s;hall leave them to their own De&s;ert, be|ing convinc'd that no <HI>Apology</HI> will ever prepo&s;&s;e&s;s a <HI>Reader</HI> to the Advantage of whatever wants Force enough to recom|mend it &s;elf; and all that a Man can &s;ay, is taken (like Court Recommendations) for Words of Cour&s;e; tho' I might here be allow'd to be Impartial,
<PB REF="4">
where I have nothing of my own to bribe my Opinion. But, Sir, as I offer the Diverting Part to Your Plea&s;ure, &s;o I mu&s;t that, which may prove other|wi&s;e to Your Generous Prote|ction, with him, who begs leave to &s;ub&s;cribe my &s;elf,</P>
<CLOSER><SALUTE>SIR, </SALUTE> <SIGNED><HI>Your most Humble and Obedient Servant,</HI>
Charles Gildon.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="bookseller to the reader">
<PB REF="4">
<HEAD>THE BOOKSELLER TO THE READER.</HEAD>
<P><HI>THE Extraordinary Suc|ce&s;s of the Fir&s;t Volume of my Lord</HI> Roche&s;ter'<HI>s Letters, and the great Encouragement of &s;everal Per&s;ons of Quality, (who had &s;een the Original Papers) to go on with the Undertaking, have engaged me to pre&s;ent You with this Second Volume, (in Compliance with the frequent Importunities of Gentlemen for the &s;peedy Edition of it) before an Excellent Collection of Fifty more of my Lord's, and a con|&s;iderable number of the Duke of</HI> Buckingham'<HI>s, and Sir</HI> George
<PB REF="5">
Etheridge'<HI>s came to my Hands; and which are now tran&s;cribing for the Pre&s;s, being &s;ufficient to make a Volume by them&s;elves; and therefore I &s;hall mingle none with them, unle&s;s any Gen|tleman or Lady, who have any of the&s;e Incomparable Authors by them, will &s;end 'em me to gratifie the Publick, which has with &s;o much plea&s;ure received tho&s;e already publi&s;hed. This Volume I de&s;ign to get ready in</HI> Trinity <HI>Term.</HI></P>
<P><HI>If any one &s;hould doubt the Reality and Authentickne&s;s of the&s;e Letters in either of the&s;e Volumes, I have yet the Origi|nals by me, and &s;hall willingly &s;hew 'em to any Gentleman or Lady that de&s;ires it; which must convince all that know my Lord's Hand.</HI></P>
<P><PB REF="5">
<HI>There's a Letter, by Mi&s;take, put into this Volume, which was never intended for it, tho' not di&s;covered till the Sheet was wrought off, for which I de&s;ire the</HI> Reader'<HI>s Pardon.</HI></P>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="table of contents">
<PB REF="6">
<HEAD>A TABLE OF LETTERS In this Second Volume.</HEAD>
<P><TABLE>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>THirty &s;ix</HI> Love-Letters, <HI>written by the Right Honourable</HI> John, <HI>late Earl of</HI> Ro|che&s;ter, <HI>to Mrs.&mdash;, from</HI></CELL>
<CELL>p. 1. <HI>to</HI> p. 37</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>Four Letters by Mrs.</HI> J. Price, <HI>to Madam</HI> Ro|berts, <HI>from</HI></CELL>
<CELL>p. 38. <HI>to</HI> p. 41</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>A Letter by the Honourable</HI> H. Savile, <HI>to</HI> Hen|ry Killigrew, <HI>E&s;q.</HI></CELL>
<CELL>p. 42</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>Sir</HI> George Etheridge <HI>from</HI> Ratisbonne, <HI>to his Friend in</HI> London,</CELL>
<CELL>p. 44</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>Sir</HI> George Etheridge <HI>to the Earl of</HI> Middle|ton,</CELL>
<CELL>p. 47</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>Sir</HI> George Etheridge <HI>to the Earl of</HI> Middle|ton,</CELL>
<CELL>p. 50</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>A Letter from</HI> England, <HI>to Sir</HI> George Ethe|ridge <HI>in</HI> Germany,</CELL>
<CELL>p. 52</CELL>
</ROW>
<PB REF="6">
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>A Letter to a Lady, that de&s;ired to marry a Courtier,</HI></CELL>
<CELL>p. 56</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>A Letter to Mr.</HI> Congreve,</CELL>
<CELL>p. 61</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>A Letter to Mr.</HI> Wicherly, <HI>by Mr.</HI> Dennis,</CELL>
<CELL>p. 65</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>A Letter to</HI> Dorinda,</CELL>
<CELL>p. 68</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>A Letter of his Grace,</HI> George, <HI>late Duke of</HI> Buckingham, <HI>to the Lord</HI> Berkley,</CELL>
<CELL>p. 71</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>The</HI> Duke'<HI>s Speeches on &s;everal Occa&s;ions, from</HI></CELL>
<CELL>p. 73. <HI>to</HI> p. 102</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>The Emperor of</HI> Morocco'<HI>s Letter to King</HI> Charles <HI>the Second,</HI></CELL>
<CELL>p. 103</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>Madam</HI> Peachy'<HI>s Letter to Mr.</HI> Bul&s;trode, <HI>at</HI> White-hall,</CELL>
<CELL>p. 107</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>A Letter to Sir Politick, by&mdash;</HI></CELL>
<CELL>p. 109</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>To Mr.</HI> Savage,</CELL>
<CELL>p. 111</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>A Letter from a Gentleman in the Country, to a Lady in the City,</HI></CELL>
<CELL>p. 114</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>Three</HI> Love-Letters,</CELL>
<CELL>p. 116. <HI>to</HI> p. 121</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>A Letter to Mr.</HI> G&mdash;</CELL>
<CELL>p. 122</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>Letters from a Per&s;on of Honour from on Board&mdash;at St.</HI> Hellens, May</CELL>
<CELL>27, 1694. p. 124</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>A Letter to Mrs.&mdash;</HI></CELL>
<CELL>p. 127</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>A Letter from</HI> Paris <HI>to the Lord</HI> H&mdash;</CELL>
<CELL>p. 131</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>A Letter to Mr.</HI> T&mdash;</CELL>
<CELL>p. 135</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>To the Chevalier</HI> Choi&s;eul, <HI>at</HI> La Hogue</CELL>
<CELL>p. 138</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>A Letter to Mr.&mdash;</HI></CELL>
<CELL>p. 145</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>To Mrs.&mdash;</HI></CELL>
<CELL>p. 147</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>To Sir</HI> John&mdash;</CELL>
<CELL>p. 149</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>To Mrs.&mdash;</HI></CELL>
<CELL>p. 153</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>To a Gentleman at</HI> Cambridge,</CELL>
<CELL>p. 155</CELL>
</ROW>
<PB REF="7">
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>To</HI> T&mdash;W&mdash;, <HI>E&s;q.</HI></CELL>
<CELL>p. 157</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>Letters of</HI> Love <HI>and</HI> Gallantry <HI>to</HI> Eugenia,</CELL>
<CELL>p. 167</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>To the &s;ame,</HI></CELL>
<CELL>p. 171</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>To the &s;ame,</HI></CELL>
<CELL>p. 173</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>To the &s;ame,</HI></CELL>
<CELL>p. 175</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>To the &s;ame,</HI></CELL>
<CELL>p. 178</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL>Ly&s;ander <HI>to</HI> Eugenia,</CELL>
<CELL>p. 182</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>To the &s;ame,</HI></CELL>
<CELL>p. 186</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>To the &s;ame,</HI></CELL>
<CELL>p. 188</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>To the &s;ame,</HI></CELL>
<CELL>p. 190</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>To my Lady&mdash;</HI></CELL>
<CELL>p. 193</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>To Mr.&mdash;</HI></CELL>
<CELL>p. 195</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>To Mrs.&mdash;</HI></CELL>
<CELL>p. 198</CELL>
</ROW>
<ROW>
<CELL><HI>A Letter of</HI> Aeneas Sylvius, <HI>who was after|wards Pope</HI> Pius <HI>the Second, to his Father about a Ba&s;tard &s;on; whom he &s;ent to him,</HI></CELL>
<CELL>p. 200</CELL>
</ROW>
</TABLE></P>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="publisher's advertisement">
<PB REF="7">
<HEAD><HI>Books printed for, and &s;old by</HI> R. Wellington.</HEAD>
<P>AN <HI>Italian</HI> Voyage, or a compleat Journey thro' <HI>Italy,</HI> in 2 Parts; with the Cha|racters of the People, and a De&s;cription of the Chief Towns, Churches, Mona&s;teries, Tombs, Libraries, Palaces, Villa's, Gardens, Pictures, Sta|tues, and Antiquities; as al&s;o of the Intere&s;t, Government, Riches, Forces, &amp;c. of all the Prin|ces, with In&s;tructions concerning Travels; the &s;econd Edition, very much enlarged, by a Mo|dern Hand; price 5 Shillings.</P>
<P>The whole Works of that Excellent <HI>Practic. Phy&s;ician</HI> Dr. <HI>Tho. Sydenham,</HI> wherein not only the Hi&s;t. and Cure of acute Di&s;ea&s;es are treated of, after a new and accurate Method; but al&s;o the &s;horte&s;t and &s;afe&s;t way of curing mo&s;t Chro|nical Di&s;ea&s;es, tran&s;lated from the Original <HI>La|tin</HI> by <HI>John Pechey,</HI> of the <HI>College</HI> of <HI>Phy&s;icians;</HI> price 5 Shillings.</P>
<P>A General Treati&s;e of the Di&s;ea&s;es of Infants and Children, collected from the be&s;t Authors, viz. <HI>Etmuller, Willis,</HI> &amp;c. by <HI>John Pechey,</HI> of the <HI>College</HI> of <HI>Phy&s;icians;</HI> price 1 Shilling and 6 d.</P>
<P>The Family-Phy&s;ician, or a choice Collection of Remedies for all Di&s;ea&s;es incident to Human Bodies, whether internal or external, u&s;eful in Families, and &s;erviceable to Country People: To which is added the <HI>Engli&s;h Wine-Cellar,</HI> be|ing the be&s;t Method for making <HI>Engli&s;h Wines,</HI> and <HI>Metheglin,</HI> with a Collection of <HI>Co&s;metick</HI> Remedies, for the pre&s;erving the Beauty and Complection of Ladies, never before publi&s;h'd, by <HI>George Harman, Philo Chymist,</HI> Servant to Sir <HI>Kenelm Digby</HI> till he died; price 3 Shill.</P>
<P><PB REF="8">
<HI>OVid Trave&s;tie,</HI> or a Burle&s;que on <HI>Ovid</HI>'s Epi&s;tles, by Capt. <HI>Alexander Radcliff,</HI> of <HI>Gray's-Inn;</HI> price 2 Shillings.</P>
<P>Reflections on Ancient and Modern Learning, by <HI>William Wooton,</HI> Chaplain to his Grace the Earl of <HI>Nottingham;</HI> with a Di&s;&s;ertation upon the Epi&s;tles of <HI>Phalaris, Euripides, Themi&s;tocles, Socrates,</HI> and the Fables of <HI>Europe,</HI> by Doctor <HI>Bentley;</HI> price 6 Shillings.</P>
<P><HI>Cocker</HI>'s Decimal Arithmetick, the &s;econd Edition enlarged, by <HI>John Hawkings,</HI> School-Ma&s;ter at St. <HI>George</HI>'s Church in <HI>Southwarke.</HI></P>
<P><HI>Incognita,</HI> or Love and Duty reconciled, a Novel, by Mr. <HI>Congreve;</HI> price 1 Shilling.</P>
<P><HI>Examen Poeticum Duplex, &s;ive Mu&s;arum An|glicanarum Delectus alter cui&s;ubjicitur Epigram|matum, &s;eu Poematum Minorum Specimen novum; Lond. impen&s;is</HI> Rich. Wellington, <HI>ad In&s;igne Che|lyos in Coemeterio Paulino:</HI> price 3 Shillings.</P>
<P>Mr. <HI>Walker</HI>'s Treati&s;e of Education, but e&s;pecially of Young Gentlemen, in two Parts; price 3 Shillings.</P>
<P><HI>Where You may have most other</HI> Books <HI>and</HI> Plays <HI>newly Printed.</HI></P>
</DIV1>
</FRONT>
<BODY>
<DIV1 TYPE="letters">
<PB N="1" REF="8">
<HEAD><HI>LOVE-LETTERS,</HI> By the Right Honourable JOHN, LATE <HI>Earl of</HI> ROCHESTER.</HEAD>
<HEAD TYPE="sub"><HI>Printed from his Original PAPERS.</HI></HEAD>
<HEAD TYPE="sub">Vol. II.</HEAD>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<HEAD>To Mrs.&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>SO much <HI>Wit</HI> and <HI>Beauty,</HI> as You have, &s;hou'd think of nothing le&s;s than doing <HI>Miracles;</HI> and there cannot be a <HI>Greater,</HI> than to continue to <HI>love</HI> Me: affecting every thing is <HI>mean,</HI> as loving Plea&s;ure, and being <HI>fond</HI> where
<PB N="2" REF="9">
You find <HI>Merit;</HI> but to pick out the <HI>wild|est,</HI> and mo&s;t <HI>fanta&s;tical odd</HI> Man alive, and to place your <HI>Kindne&s;s</HI> there, is an Act &s;o <HI>brave</HI> and <HI>daring,</HI> as will &s;hew the <HI>Greatne&s;s</HI> of Your Spirit, and <HI>di&s;tingui&s;h</HI> You in <HI>Love,</HI> as You are in <HI>all things</HI> el&s;e, from Womankind. Whether I have made a <HI>good</HI> Argument for <HI>my &s;elf,</HI> I leave You to <HI>judge;</HI> and beg You to believe me, whenever I tell You what Mrs. <HI>R.</HI> is, &s;ince I give you &s;o <HI>&s;incere</HI> an Account of her humble&s;t Servant: Remember the Hour of a <HI>&s;trict</HI> Account, when both Hearts are to be <HI>open,</HI> and we oblig'd to &s;peak <HI>freely,</HI> as You order'd it <HI>Ye&s;terday,</HI> for &s;o I mu&s;t ever call the <HI>Day</HI> I &s;aw you <HI>last,</HI> &s;ince all time between that and the next <HI>Vi&s;it,</HI> is no part of my <HI>Life,</HI> or at lea&s;t like a <HI>long Fit</HI> of the <HI>Falling-&s;ickne&s;s,</HI> wherein I am <HI>dead</HI> to all <HI>Joy</HI> and <HI>Happi|ne&s;s.</HI> Here's a damn'd impertinent <HI>Fool</HI> bolted in, that hinders me from ending my <HI>Letter;</HI> the Plague of&mdash;&mdash;take him, and any Man or Woman alive that take my <HI>Thoughts</HI> off of <HI>You:</HI> But in the <HI>Eve|ning</HI> I will &s;ee You, and be <HI>happy</HI> in &s;pite of all the <HI>Fools</HI> in the World.</P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="3" REF="9">
<HEAD><HI>To Mrs.</HI>&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>IF there be yet alive within you the lea&s;t Memory of me, which I can hope only, becau&s;e of the Life that remains with me, is the dear Remem|brance of you; and methinks your Kind|ne&s;s, as the younger, &s;hou'd out-live mine: Give me leave to a&s;&s;ure you, I will meet it very &s;hortly with &s;uch a &s;hare on my &s;ide, as will ju&s;tifie me to you from all <HI>Ingratitude;</HI> tho' your <HI>Fa|vours</HI> are to me the greate&s;t <HI>Bli&s;s</HI> this <HI>World,</HI> or <HI>Womankind,</HI> which I think <HI>Heaven,</HI> can be&s;tow, (but the hopes of it:) If there can be any <HI>Addition</HI> to one of the highe&s;t Misfortunes, my <HI>Ab&s;ence</HI> from you has found the way to give it me, in not affording me the lea&s;t <HI>Occa|&s;ion</HI> of doing you any <HI>Service</HI> &s;ince I left you: It &s;eems, till I am capable of <HI>greater</HI> Merit, you re&s;olve to keep me from the <HI>Vanity</HI> of pretending any at <HI>all.</HI> Pray con|&s;ider when you give another leave to
<PB N="4" REF="10">
<HI>&s;erve</HI> you, <HI>more</HI> than <HI>I,</HI> how much <HI>Inju&s;tice</HI> you run the hazard of committing, when it will not be in your power to <HI>reward</HI> that <HI>More-de&s;erving</HI> Man with half &s;o much Happine&s;s as you have thrown a|way upon my <HI>Worthle&s;s</HI> Self,</P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>Your Re&s;tle&s;s Servant, &mdash;</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="5" REF="10">
<HEAD><HI>To Mrs.</HI>&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>I Know not well who has the <HI>worst</HI> on't, you, who love but a <HI>little,</HI> or I, who doat to an <HI>Extravagance;</HI> &s;ure, to be half-kind, is as bad as to be half|witted; and <HI>Madne&s;s,</HI> both in <HI>Love</HI> and <HI>Rea&s;on,</HI> bears a better Character than a moderate &s;tate of either. Would I cou'd bring you to my <HI>Opinion,</HI> in this Point; I wou'd then confidently pretend you had too ju&s;t Exceptions either again&s;t me or my <HI>Pa&s;&s;ion,</HI> the <HI>Fle&s;h</HI> and the <HI>Devil;</HI> I mean all the <HI>Fools</HI> of my own <HI>Sex,</HI> and that <HI>fat,</HI> with the other <HI>lean</HI> One of yours, who&s;e prudent Advice is daily concern|ing you, how dangerous it is to be kind to the Man, upon <HI>Earth,</HI> who loves you be&s;t. I, who &s;till per&s;wade my &s;elf, by all the Arguments I can bring, that I am Happy, find this none of the lea&s;t, that you are too unlike the&s;e People every way, to agree with them in any particu|lar. This is writ between &s;leeping and waking, and I will not an&s;wer for its be|ing <HI>Sence;</HI> but I, dreaming you were
<PB N="6" REF="11">
at Mrs. <HI>N</HI>&mdash;&mdash;'s, with five or &s;ix <HI>Fools,</HI> and the <HI>Lean</HI> Lady wak'd in one of your <HI>Horrours,</HI> and, in Amaze, Fright, and Confu&s;ion, &s;end this to beg a kind one from you, that may remove my <HI>Fears,</HI> and make me as Happy as I am Faith|ful.</P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<HEAD><HI>To Mrs.</HI>&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Dear MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>YOU are &s;tark Mad, and therefore the fitter for me to love; and that is the rea&s;on, I think, I can never leave to be</P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>Your Humble Servant,&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="7" REF="11">
<HEAD><HI>To Mrs.</HI>&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>TO convince you how ju&s;t I mu&s;t ever be to you, I have &s;ent this on purpo&s;e, that you may know you are not a <HI>moment</HI> out of my <HI>Thoughts;</HI> and &s;ince &s;o much Merit as you have, and &s;uch convincing Charms (to me at lea&s;t) need not wi&s;h a greater Advantage over any; to forget you, is the only <HI>Re|prieve</HI> po&s;&s;ible for a Man &s;o much your Creature and Servant as I am; which I am &s;o far from <HI>wi&s;hing,</HI> that I conjure you by all the a&s;&s;urances of <HI>Kindne&s;s</HI> you have ever made me proud and happy with, that not two Days can pa&s;s without &s;ome <HI>Letter</HI> from you to me: You mu&s;t leave 'em, <HI>&amp;c.</HI>&mdash;&mdash;to be &s;ent to me with <HI>&s;peed.</HI> And till the <HI>ble&s;t</HI> Hour wherein I &s;hall &s;ee you again, may Happine&s;s of all kinds be as far from me, as I do, both in <HI>Love</HI> and <HI>Jealou&s;ie,</HI> pray Mankind may be from you.</P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="8" REF="12">
<HEAD><HI>To Mrs.</HI>&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>THere is now no minute of my Life that does not afford me &s;ome new <HI>Argument</HI> how much I love you; the little <HI>Joy</HI> I take in every thing wherein you are not concern'd, the plea|&s;ing <HI>Perplexity</HI> of endle&s;s <HI>Thought,</HI> which I fall into, where-ever you are brought to my <HI>Remembrance;</HI> and la&s;tly, the con|tinual <HI>Di&s;quiet</HI> I am, in, during your <HI>Ab|&s;ence,</HI> convince me &s;ufficiently, that I do you <HI>Ju&s;tice</HI> in loving you, &s;o as <HI>Woman</HI> was never lov'd before.</P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="9" REF="12">
<HEAD><HI>To Mrs.</HI>&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>YOur &s;afe <HI>Delivery</HI> has deliver'd me too from <HI>Fears</HI> for your &s;ake, which were, I'll promi&s;e you, as <HI>burthen&s;om</HI> to me, as your <HI>Great-belly</HI> cou'd be to you. Every thing has fallen out to my <HI>Wi&s;h,</HI> for you are out of <HI>Danger,</HI> and the Child is of the <HI>&s;oft Sex</HI> I love. Short|ly my Hopes are to &s;ee you, and in a lit|tle while after to look on you with all your <HI>Beauty</HI> about you. Pray let no Bo|dy but your &s;elf open the <HI>Box</HI> I &s;ent you; I did not know, but that in <HI>Lying-in,</HI> you might have u&s;e of tho&s;e <HI>Trifles: Sick,</HI> and in <HI>Bed,</HI> as I am, I cou'd come at no <HI>more</HI> of 'em; but if you find 'em, or whatever is in my power of u&s;e, to your Service, let me know it.</P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="10" REF="13">
<HEAD><HI>To Mrs.</HI>&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>THis is the fir&s;t Service my Hand has done me, &s;ince my being a <HI>Cripple,</HI> and I wou'd not imploy it in a <HI>Lie</HI> &s;o &s;oon; therefore, pray, believe me <HI>&s;incere,</HI> when I a&s;&s;ure you, that you are very <HI>dear</HI> to me; and, as long as I live, I will be <HI>kind</HI> to you:</P>
<CLOSER><POSTSCRIPT>
<HEAD>P. S.</HEAD>
<P>This is all my <HI>Hand</HI> wou'd <HI>write,</HI> but my <HI>Heart thinks</HI> a great deal more.</P>
</POSTSCRIPT></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<HEAD><HI>To Mrs.</HI>&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>NOthing can ever be &s;o <HI>dear</HI> to me as you are; and I am &s;o <HI>con|vinc'd</HI> of this, that I dare under|take to love you whil&s;t I live: Believe all I &s;ay, for that is the kinde&s;t thing ima|ginable, and when you can devi&s;e any way that may make me appear &s;o to you, in&s;truct me in it, for I need a better <HI>Un|der&s;tanding,</HI> than my own, to &s;hew my <HI>Love,</HI> without wrong to it.</P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="11" REF="13">
<HEAD><HI>To Mrs.</HI>&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>NOw, as I love you, I think I have rea&s;on to be <HI>Jealous;</HI> your Neigh|bour came in la&s;t Night with all the <HI>Marks</HI> and <HI>Behaviour</HI> of a <HI>Spy;</HI> every word and look imply'd, that &s;he came to &s;olicite your <HI>Love,</HI> or <HI>Con&s;tancy:</HI> May her <HI>Endeavours</HI> prove as vain as I wi&s;h my <HI>Fears.</HI> May no Man &s;hare the <HI>Ble&s;&s;ings</HI> I enjoy, without my <HI>Cur&s;es;</HI> and if they fall on him alone, without touching you, I am happy, tho' he de&s;erves 'em not: but &s;hou'd you be concern'd, they'll all flie back upon my &s;elf; for he, whom you are kind to, is &s;o ble&s;t, he may &s;afe|ly &s;tand the <HI>Cur&s;es</HI> of all the World with|out repining; at lea&s;t, if like me, he be &s;en&s;ible of nothing but what comes from Mrs.&mdash;</P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="12" REF="14">
<HEAD><HI>To Mrs.</HI>&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>YOu are the mo&s;t afflicting fair Crea|ture in the World; and however you wou'd per&s;wade me to the contrary, I cannot but believe the <HI>Fault</HI> you pre|tend to excu&s;e, is the only one I cou'd ever be guilty of to you: when you think of receiving an An&s;wer with Common Sence in it, you mu&s;t write <HI>Letters</HI> that give le&s;s <HI>Confu&s;ion</HI> than your la&s;t: I will wait on you, and be reveng'd by con|tinuing to love you, when you grow wearie&s;t of it.</P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="13" REF="14">
<HEAD><HI>To Mrs.</HI>&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>YE&s;terday it was impo&s;&s;ible to An|&s;wer your Letter, which I hope, for that rea&s;on, you will forgive me; tho' indeed you have been pleas'd to expre&s;s your &s;elf &s;o extra ordinarily, that I know not what I have to An&s;wer to you. Give me &s;ome <HI>Rea&s;on</HI> upon your own ac|count only, to be &s;orry I ever had the Happine&s;s to know you, &s;ince I find you repent the <HI>Kindne&s;s</HI> you &s;hew'd me, and undervalue the humble Service I had for you; and, that I might be no happier in your Favours, than you could be in my <HI>Love,</HI> you have contriv'd it &s;o well, to make them equal to my Hatred; &s;ince that cou'd do no more than the&s;e pretend to, take away the <HI>Quiet</HI> of my Life. I tell this not to exempt my &s;elf from any Ser|vice I can do you, (for I can never <HI>forget</HI> how very happy I have been) but to con|vince you, the <HI>Love</HI> that gives you the <HI>Torment</HI> of <HI>Repentance</HI> on your &s;ide, and me the <HI>Trouble</HI> of perceiving it in the o|ther, is equally unju&s;t and cruel to us both, and ought therefore to die.</P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="14" REF="15">
<HEAD>To Mrs.&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>YOu &s;hall not fail of&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;on <HI>Satur|day;</HI> and for your <HI>Wretches,</HI> as you call 'em, 'tis u&s;ually my Cu&s;tom when I wrong &s;uch as they, to make 'em amends; tho' your Maid has <HI>aggravated</HI> that matter more to my <HI>Prejudice</HI> than I expected from one who belong'd to you, and for your own &s;hare, If I thought you a Woman of <HI>Forms,</HI> you &s;hou'd receive all the <HI>Reparations</HI> ima|ginable; but it is &s;o unque&s;tionable, that I am thoroughly your humble Ser|vant, that all the World mu&s;t know, I cannot offend you, without being &s;orry for it.</P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="15" REF="15">
<HEAD>To Mrs.&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>THo' upon the Score of <HI>Love,</HI> which is immediately my <HI>Concern,</HI> I find apt|ne&s;s enough to be <HI>jealous;</HI> yet upon that of your <HI>Safety,</HI> which is the only thing in the World <HI>weighs</HI> more with me than my <HI>Love,</HI> I apprehend much more. I know, by woful Experience, what comes of deal|ing with <HI>Knaves;</HI> &s;uch I am &s;ure you have at this time to do with; therefore look well about you, and take it for granted, That unle&s;s you can <HI>deceive</HI> them, they will certainly <HI>cozen</HI> you. If I am not &s;o <HI>wi&s;e</HI> as they, and therefore le&s;s <HI>fit</HI> to advi&s;e you, I am at lea&s;t more <HI>concern'd</HI> for you, and for that rea&s;on the likelier to prove <HI>honest,</HI> and the rather to be <HI>tru&s;ted.</HI> Whether you will come to the <HI>Duke</HI>'s Play-hou&s;e to Day, or at lea&s;t let me come to you when the Play is done, I leave to your Choice; let me know, if you plea&s;e, by the <HI>Bearer.</HI></P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="16" REF="16">
<HEAD>To Mrs.&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>MIght I be &s;o happy to receive &s;uch <HI>Proofs</HI> of your <HI>Kindne&s;s,</HI> as I my &s;elf wou'd <HI>choo&s;e,</HI> one of the greate&s;t I cou'd think of were, that all my <HI>Actions,</HI> however they appear'd at fir&s;t, might be interpreted as meant for your <HI>Service;</HI> &s;ince nothing is &s;o <HI>agreeable</HI> to my Na|ture, as &s;eeking my own <HI>Satisfaction;</HI> and &s;ince you are the be&s;t <HI>Object</HI> of that I can find in the World, how can you entertain a <HI>Jealou&s;ie</HI> or <HI>Fear?</HI> You have the &s;tronge&s;t <HI>Security</HI> our frail and daily changing Frame can give, that I can <HI>live</HI> to no end &s;o much, as that of plea&s;ing and &s;erving you.</P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="17" REF="16">
<HEAD>To Mrs.&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Madam,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>I Have not &s;inn'd &s;o much as to de|&s;erve to live two whole Days with|out &s;eeing of you. From your <HI>Ju&s;tice</HI> and <HI>Good-nature</HI> therefore I will pre&s;ume you will give me leave to wait on you at Night, and for your &s;ake u&s;e not that Power (which you find you have ab&s;o|lute over me) &s;o unmercifully as you did la&s;t time, to divert and keep me off, from convincing you by all the Rea&s;ons imaginable, how nece&s;&s;ary 'tis to pre|&s;erve you faultle&s;s, and make me happy; and al&s;o, that you believe and u&s;e me like the mo&s;t Faithful of all your Ser|vants, <HI>&amp;c.</HI></P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="18" REF="17">
<HEAD>To Mrs.&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Madam,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>DEare&s;t of all that ever was deare&s;t to me, if I love any thing in the World like you, or wi&s;h it in my Power to do it, may I ever be as unlucky and as hateful as when I &s;aw you la&s;t. I who have no way to expre&s;s my Kind|ne&s;s to you, but Letters, which cannot &s;peak it half; whether &s;hall I think my &s;elf more unfortunate, who cannot tell you how much I love, or you, who can never know how well you are belov'd; I wou'd fain bring it about, if it were po&s;|&s;ible, to wait upon you to day; for be&s;ides that I never am without the pa&s;&s;ionate De&s;ire of being with you, at this time I have &s;omething to tell you, that is for your Service, and will not be unplea&s;ant News, but I am in Chains here, and mu&s;t &s;eek out &s;ome Device, to break 'em for a quarter of an hour.</P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="19" REF="17">
<HEAD>To Mrs.&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Madam,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>IT is impo&s;&s;ible for me to neglect what I love, as it wou'd be impertinent to profe&s;s love where I had none; but I take the vanity to a&s;&s;ure my &s;elf, you cannot conclude &s;o &s;everely both of my Truth and Rea&s;on, as to &s;u&s;pect me for either of tho&s;e Faults. If there has been a Misfortune in the Mi&s;carriage of my Letters, I be&s;eech you not to add to it by an uncharitable Cen&s;ure, but do me the right to believe the la&s;t thing po&s;&s;ible in the World, is the lea&s;t Omi&s;&s;ion of either Kindne&s;s or Service to you: I wi&s;h the whole World was as intirely yours as I am, you wou'd then have no rea&s;on to complain of any Body; at lea&s;t, it wou'd be your own Fault, if they were not what you pleas'd. Tho&s;e Wretches you &s;peak of in your Letter, are &s;o little valuable, that you will ea&s;ily forget their Malice, and rather look upon the more con&s;iderable part of the World, who will ever find it their Intere&s;t, and make it their vanity to &s;erve you. And now to
<PB N="20" REF="18">
let you know how &s;oon I propo&s;e to be out of pain, two Days hence I leave this Place, in order to my Journey towards <HI>London;</HI> and may I then be but as happy as your Kindne&s;s can make me, I &s;hall have but very little room either for <HI>Envy</HI> or <HI>Ambition.</HI></P>
<CLOSER><DATE>Octob. 6th.</DATE> <HI>This Morning your Me&s;&s;enger came.</HI></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<HEAD><HI>To Mrs.</HI>&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Madam,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>I Found you in a Chiding Humour to Day, and &s;o I left you; to Morrow I hope for better Luck: till when, nei|ther you, nor any you can employ, &s;hall know whether I am under or above Ground; therefore lie &s;till, and &s;atisfie your &s;elf, that your are not, nor can be half &s;o kind to Mrs.&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;as I am:</P>
<CLOSER><SALUTE>Good-night.</SALUTE></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="21" REF="18">
<HEAD><HI>To Mrs.</HI>&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Madam,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>MY Faults are &s;uch, as, among rea|&s;onable People, will ever find Ex|cu&s;e; but to you I will make none, you are &s;o very full of <HI>My&s;tery:</HI> I believe you make your <HI>Court</HI> with good Succe&s;s, at lea&s;t I wi&s;h it; and as the kinde&s;t thing I can &s;ay, do a&s;&s;ure you, you &s;hall never be my <HI>Pattern,</HI> either in <HI>Good-nature,</HI> or <HI>Friend&s;hip,</HI> for I will be after my own rate, not yours,</P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>Your humble Servant, &mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="22" REF="19">
<HEAD><HI>To Mrs.</HI>&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Madam,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>I Am far from delighting in the <HI>Grief</HI> I have given you, by taking away the <HI>Child;</HI> and you, who made it &s;o ab&s;olutely nece&s;&s;ary for me to do &s;o, mu&s;t take that Excu&s;e from me, for all the ill Nature of it: On the other &s;ide, pray be a&s;&s;ur'd, I love <HI>Betty</HI> &s;o well, that you need not apprehend any <HI>Neglect</HI> from tho&s;e I employ; and I hope very &s;hortly to re|&s;tore her to you a finer <HI>Girl</HI> than ever. In the mean time you wou'd do well to think of the <HI>Advice</HI> I gave you, for how little &s;hew &s;oever my <HI>Prudence</HI> makes in my own <HI>Affairs,</HI> in yours it will prove very &s;ucce&s;sful, if you plea&s;e to follow it; and &s;ince <HI>Di&s;cretion</HI> is the thing alone you are like to want, pray &s;tudy to get it.</P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="23" REF="19">
<HEAD><HI>To Mrs.</HI>&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Madam,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>I Came to Town late la&s;t Night, tho' time enough to receive News from the <HI>King</HI> very &s;urprizing, you be|ing chiefly concern'd in't: I mu&s;t beg that I may &s;peak with you this Morning, at ten a clock; I will not fail to be at your Door: The <HI>Affair</HI> is unhappy, and to me on many Scores, but on none, more than that it has di&s;turb'd the <HI>Heaven</HI> of <HI>Thought</HI> I was in, to think, after &s;o long an <HI>Ab&s;ence,</HI> I had liv'd to be again ble&s;t with &s;eeing my Deare&s;t Dear, Mrs.&mdash;</P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="24" REF="20">
<HEAD><HI>To Mrs.</HI>&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Madam,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>I Am forc'd at la&s;t to own, That 'tis very unea&s;ie to me to live &s;o long without hearing a word of you, e&s;pecially when I reflect how <HI>Ill-natur'd</HI> the World is to <HI>pretty</HI> Women, and what occa&s;ion you may have for their Service. Be&s;ides, I am un&s;atisfied yet, why that <HI>Incon&s;ide|rable</HI> Service you gave me leave to do you, and which I left po&s;itive Orders for when I came away, was left unperform'd; and if the <HI>Omi&s;&s;ion</HI> reflect upon my <HI>Servant,</HI> or my &s;elf, that I might puni&s;h the one, and clear the other. I have often wi&s;h'd, I know not why, but I think for your &s;ake more than my own, that Mrs.&mdash;|migh forget me quite: but I find it wou'd trouble me of all things, &s;hou'd &s;he think ill of me, or remember me to hate me, but when-ever &s;he wou'd make me hap|py; if &s;he can yet wi&s;h me &s;o, let her command &s;ome real Service, and my <HI>Obedience</HI> will prove the be&s;t <HI>Reward</HI> my <HI>Hopes</HI> can aim at.</P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="25" REF="20">
<HEAD><HI>To Mrs.</HI>&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>MY Vi&s;it Ye&s;terday was intended to tell you, I had not <HI>Din'd</HI> in Com|pany of <HI>Women,</HI> which (tho' for a certain <HI>Rea&s;on</HI> I cou'd not very well expre&s;s with <HI>Words)</HI> was however &s;ufficiently made appear, &s;ince you could not be &s;o very <HI>Ill|natur'd</HI> to make &s;evere Reflections upon me when I was gone. Were Men with|out <HI>Frailties,</HI> how wou'd you bring it about to make 'em love you &s;o blindly as they do. I cannot yet imagine what fault you could find in my Love-letter; certainly 'twas full of <HI>Kindne&s;s</HI> and <HI>Duty</HI> to you; and while&s;t the&s;e two Points are kept inviolable, 'tis very hard when you take any thing ill. I fear &s;taying at Home &s;o much gives you the <HI>Spleen</HI> (for I am loth to believe 'tis I) I have there|fore &s;ent you the two <HI>Plays</HI> that are acted this Afternoon; if that <HI>Diver&s;ion</HI> cou'd put you into &s;o good a Humour, as to make you able to endure me again, I &s;hou'd be very much oblig'd to the <HI>Stage.</HI> However, if your <HI>Anger</HI> continue, &s;hew your &s;elf at the <HI>Play,</HI> that I may look
<PB N="26" REF="21">
upon you, and go <HI>mad.</HI> Your <HI>Revenge</HI> is in your own <HI>Eyes;</HI> and if I mu&s;t &s;uffer, I wou'd chu&s;e that way.</P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<HEAD>To Mrs.&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>THo' not for <HI>real Kindne&s;s</HI> &s;ake, at lea&s;t to make your own Words good, (which is a Point of Honour pro|per for a <HI>Woman)</HI> endeavour to give me &s;ome <HI>undeniable Proofs</HI> that you <HI>love</HI> me. If there be any in my <HI>Power</HI> which I have yet neither given nor offer'd, you mu&s;t explain your &s;elf; I am perhaps very dull, but withal very &s;incere: I could wi&s;h, for your &s;ake, and my own, that your Fail|lings were &s;uch; but be they what they will, &s;ince I mu&s;t love you, allow me the liberty of telling you &s;ometimes unman|nerly <HI>Truths,</HI> when my <HI>Zeal</HI> for your Ser|vice cau&s;es, and your own <HI>Interest</HI> re|quires it: The&s;e <HI>Inconveniences</HI> you mu&s;t bear with from tho&s;e that love you, with greater regard to you than them&s;elves; &s;uch a One I pretend to be, and I hope, if you do not yet believe it, you will in time find it.</P>
<P><PB N="27" REF="21">
You have &s;aid &s;omething that has made me fancy to Morrow will prove a happy Day to me; however, pray let me &s;ee you before you &s;peak with any other Man, there are Rea&s;ons for it, <HI>Dearest</HI> of all my <HI>De&s;ires.</HI> I expect your <HI>Commands.</HI></P>
<CLOSER><DATELINE><DATE><HI>An Hour after I left You.</HI></DATE></DATELINE></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<HEAD>To Mrs.&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>I Have a very ju&s;t <HI>Quarrel</HI> to <HI>Bu&s;ine&s;s,</HI> upon a thou&s;and <HI>Faults,</HI> and will now continue it, whil&s;t I live, &s;ince it takes from me &s;ome Hours of your Com|pany. Till two in the Afternoon, I can|not come to you; pity my <HI>Ill-fortune,</HI> and &s;end me word where I &s;hall then find you.</P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="28" REF="22">
<HEAD>To Mrs.&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>I Was ju&s;t beginning to write You word, that I am the mo&s;t <HI>Unlucky</HI> Creature in the World, when Your Letter came in, and made me more cer|tain; for You tempt me by de&s;iring me to do the thing upon Earth I have the mo&s;t <HI>Fonane&s;s</HI> of, at this time; that is, going with You to <HI>Wind&s;or;</HI> but the <HI>Devil</HI> has laid a <HI>Block</HI> in my way, and I mu&s;t not, for my Life, &s;tir out of Town the&s;e ten Days. You will &s;carce believe me in this particular, as You &s;hou'd do, but I will convince You of the Truth, when I wait on You; in the mean time (to &s;hew the <HI>Reality</HI> of my <HI>Intentions)</HI> there is a Coach ready hired for to morrow, which, if not true, You may di&s;prove me by making u&s;e of it.</P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="29" REF="22">
<HEAD>To Mrs.&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>BElieve me, <HI>(Dearest</HI> of all <HI>Plea&s;ures)</HI> that tho&s;e I can receive from any thing but You, are &s;o extreamly dull they hardly de&s;erve the Name. If You di|&s;tru&s;t me, and all my Profe&s;&s;ions, upon the Score of <HI>Truth</HI> and <HI>Honour,</HI> at lea&s;t let 'em have <HI>Credit</HI> on another, upon which my greate&s;t Enemies will not deny it me; and that is, its being <HI>Notorious,</HI> that I mind nothing but my own <HI>Satisfaction.</HI> You may be &s;ure I cannot chu&s;e but love You above the World, whatever becomes of the <HI>King, Court,</HI> or <HI>Mankind,</HI> and all their <HI>Impertinent</HI> Bu&s;ine&s;s. I will come to You this Afternoon.</P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="30" REF="23">
<HEAD>To Mrs.&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>THat I do not &s;ee You, is not that I wou'd not, for that, the <HI>Devil</HI> take me, if I would not do every Day of my Life, but for the&s;e Rea&s;ons You &s;hall know hereafter. In the mean time, I can give You no Account of Your <HI>Bu&s;ine&s;s</HI> as yet; but of my own part, which I am &s;ure will not be agreeable without others, who, I am confident will give full <HI>Satisfaction</HI> in a very &s;hort time, to all Your <HI>De&s;ires:</HI> When 'tis done, I will tell You &s;omething that, perhaps, may make You think that I am Mrs.&mdash;&mdash;</P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>Your humble Servant,</SIGNED> <DATELINE><DATE>Sunday.</DATE></DATELINE></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="31" REF="23">
<HEAD>To Mrs.&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>TIll I have mended my Manners, I am a&s;ham'd to look you in the Face, but Seeing You is as ne|ce&s;&s;ary to my Life, as Breathing; &s;o that I mu&s;t &s;ee You, or be Yours no more; for that's the Image I have of Dying. The Sight of You then, being my Life, I cannot but confe&s;s, with an humble and &s;incere Repentance, that I have hitherto liv'd very ill; receive my Confe&s;&s;ion, and let the Promi&s;e of my future Zeal and Devotion obtain my Pardon, for la&s;t Night's <HI>Bla&s;phemy</HI> again&s;t You, my <HI>Hea|ven;</HI> &s;o &s;hall I hope, hereafter, to be made partaker of &s;uch <HI>Joys,</HI> in Your Arms, as meeting Tongues but faintly can ex|pre&s;s. <HI>Amen.</HI></P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="32" REF="24">
<HEAD>To Mrs.&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>I A&s;&s;ure You I am not half &s;o faulty as unfortunate in &s;erving You; I will not tell You my Endeavours, nor ex|cu&s;e my Breach of Promi&s;e; but leave it to You to find the cau&s;e of my doing &s;o ill, to one I wi&s;h &s;o well to; but I hope to give You a better Account &s;hortly. The Complaint You &s;poke to me, con|cerning <HI>Mi&s;s,</HI> I know nothing of, for &s;he is as great a Stranger to me, as &s;he can be to You. So, thou pretty Creature Fare|well.</P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>Your humble Servant,&mdash;</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="33" REF="24">
<HEAD>To Mrs.&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>YOur Letter &s;o tran&s;ports me, that I know not how to an&s;wer it, the Ex|pre&s;&s;ions are &s;o &s;oft, and &s;eem to be &s;o &s;incere, that I were the unrea&s;onable&s;t Creature on Earth, cou'd I but &s;eem to di&s;tru&s;t my being the happier: and the be&s;t Contrivance I can think of, for con|veying a Letter to me, is making a <HI>Porter</HI> bring it my <HI>Foot-man,</HI> where-ever I am, whether at St. <HI>James</HI>'s, <HI>Whitehall,</HI> or home. They are at pre&s;ent pulling down &s;ome part of my Lodging, which will not per|mit me to &s;ee You there; but I will wait on You at any other place, what time You plea&s;e.</P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="34" REF="25">
<HEAD><HI>To Mrs.</HI>&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>I Could &s;ay a great deal to you, but will conceal it till I have Merit: &s;o the&s;e &s;hall be only to beg your Par|don, for de&s;iring your Excu&s;e till Mun|day, and then you &s;hall find me an Ho|ne&s;t Man, and one of my Word. So Mrs.&mdash;&mdash;</P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>Your Servant,&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="35" REF="25">
<HEAD><HI>To Mrs.</HI>&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Dear MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>MY Omitting to write to you all this while, were an unpardon|able Errour, had I been guilty of it thro' <HI>Neglect</HI> towards you, which I value you too much ever to be capable of. But I have never been two days in a place, &s;ince Mrs.&mdash;went away; which I ought to have given you Notice of, and have let you known, that her Crime was, making her Court to&mdash;&mdash;with Stories of you; entertaining her continually with the <HI>Shame</HI> &s;he underwent to be &s;een in Company of &s;o horrid a Body as your &s;elf, in order to the obtaining of her&mdash;'s <HI>Employment;</HI> and la&s;tly, that my&mdash;was ten times prettier than that na&s;ty B&mdash;, I was &s;o fond of at <HI>London,</HI> which I had by you. This was the grateful Acknow|ledgment &s;he made you for all your <HI>Fa|vours,</HI> and this <HI>Recompence</HI> for all the lit|tle <HI>Services;</HI> which, upon your Account, &s;he receiv'd from,</P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>Your humble Servant, <HI>&amp;c.</HI></SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="36" REF="26">
<HEAD><HI>To Mrs.</HI>&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>ANger, Spleen, Revenge, and Shame, are not yet &s;o power|ful with me, as to make me di&s;|own this great <HI>Truth,</HI> That I love you above all things in the World: But, I thank <HI>God,</HI> I can di&s;tingui&s;h, I can &s;ee very <HI>Woman</HI> in you, and from your &s;elf am convinc'd I have never been in the wrong in the Opinion of <HI>Women:</HI> 'Tis impo&s;&s;ible for me to cur&s;e you; but give me leave to pity my &s;elf, which is more than ever you will do for me. You have a Character, and you maintain it; but I am &s;orry you make me an <HI>Example</HI> to prove it: It &s;eems (as you excel in every thing) you &s;corn to grow le&s;s in that noble Quality of U&s;ing your <HI>Servants</HI> ve|ry hardly: You do well not to forget it; and rather practice upon me, than lo&s;e the Habit of being very <HI>Severe,</HI> for you that chu&s;e rather to be Wi&s;e than Ju&s;t or Good-natur'd, may freely di&s;po&s;e of all things in your Power, without Regard
<PB N="37" REF="26">
to one, or the other. As I admire you, I wou'd be glad I cou'd imitate you; it were but Manners to endeavour it; which, &s;ince I am not able to perform, I confe&s;s you are in the right to call that Rude, which I call Kind; and &s;o keep me in the Wrong for ever, which you cannot chu&s;e but take great Delight in: You need but continue to make it fit for me not to love you, and you can never want &s;omething to upbraid me with.</P>
<CLOSER><DATELINE><DATE><HI>Three a Clock in the Morning.</HI></DATE></DATELINE></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<TRAILER>The End of the E. of R.'s Letters.</TRAILER>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="letters">
<PB N="38" REF="27">
<HEAD>LETTERS ON <HI>SEVERAL OCCASIONS,</HI> Written by Mrs. J. PRICE.</HEAD>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<HEAD><HI>To Mrs.</HI> Roberts.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>HAving &s;o much Wit, I wonder you &s;hou'd in the lea&s;t mi&s;take Kind|ne&s;s for Prudence; that's a thing I never had yet laid to my Charge. In time I doubt not but you will know me better: I am the &s;orrier for my Indi&s;po&s;ition, &s;ince I cannot comply with your <HI>De&s;ires;</HI> how|ever, if you plea&s;e to come hither, you &s;hall be extreamly welcome to her that will e&s;teem her &s;elf happy in you <HI>Friend|&s;hip.</HI></P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>J. Price.</SIGNED>
<DATELINE><DATE><HI>Thur&s;day.</HI></DATE></DATELINE></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="39" REF="27">
<HEAD><HI>To Mrs.</HI> Roberts.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>'TWere very dull and ill-natur'd in me, to forget the Joy and Sati&s;|faction I receiv'd in your la&s;t Kindne&s;s; and &s;eeming to do it, were a Fault not pardonable: therefore, <HI>Madam,</HI> forgive this <HI>Impertinence,</HI> &s;ince there is no way that can tell &s;o much the Sence of your <HI>Favours</HI> as this; and I have had a Hope that you wou'd be &s;o Good|natur'd, as to have &s;een me: But the &s;ame Cro&s;s-fate, which generally pur&s;ues me, leaves me not in this concern: Let me know that you are well, and 'twill make &s;ome Reparation for the Pain I &s;uffer in not &s;eeing you; and, if you think I de&s;erve your Kindne&s;s, 'tis a Happine&s;s, which &s;hall never be forgot, by</P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>Your most humble Servant,
J. Price.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="40" REF="28">
<HEAD><HI>To Mrs.</HI> Roberts.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>I Have this Morning acquainted the Party with the Honour you did me la&s;t Night; and, as you expre&s;s your &s;elf to me only in general Terms, I cou'd do no more to him: I find him very &s;en|&s;ible of his Obligation to you, and wil|ling to comply in any thing, in his own Power, rea&s;onable for your Service; it is an ea&s;ier Task for <HI>Beauty</HI> to get twenty <HI>new</HI> Servants, than recover one <HI>old</HI> one; and, truly, I conceive him in a de&s;perate condition: He was a little &s;urpriz'd to find me your <HI>Emba&s;&s;adour;</HI> but, I believe, took it better from my Mouth, than he would have done from any other.</P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>J. Price.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="41" REF="28">
<HEAD>A Letter to Mrs. <HI>Price.</HI></HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>I Need not tell you how drunk we were on <HI>Saturday;</HI> &s;ince, as I re|member, we gave you good proof of it under our own Hands: however, I made a &s;hift to ride home, but am now galloping to <HI>Poltimore;</HI> and, if I am not mi&s;taken, you will have occa&s;ion to take a little Journey too; Mum! for that. Here's not a Syllable of News, but that all things of our Concern &s;tand fair and well; and if it &s;hou'd ever happen other|wi&s;e, which I'm confident it will not, be a&s;&s;ur'd it &s;hall not be the Fault of,</P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>Your Love,</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="42" REF="29">
<HEAD>A LETTER, Written by the Honourable <HI>HENRY SAVILE.</HI></HEAD>
<HEAD><HI>To</HI> Henry Killigrew, <HI>E&s;q.</HI></HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Noble HENRY,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>SWeet <HI>Name&s;ake</HI> of mine, happy Hu|mour'd <HI>Killigrew,</HI> Soul of Mirth, and all Delight; the very Sight of your Letter gave me a kind of Joy, that I thought had been at &s;uch a Di&s;tance with me, that <HI>She</HI> and <HI>I</HI> were never more to meet: For, &s;ince I have been at <HI>St. Al|bans, Heaven</HI> and <HI>Earth</HI> were nearer one another, than <HI>Joy</HI> and <HI>Fermyn;</HI> for, here, &s;ome half a Mile out of Town, ab&s;ent from all my Friends, in the fear of being forgot by 'em, I pa&s;s my weari&s;om time, in a little melancholly Wood, as fit for a re&s;tle&s;s Mind to complain of his &s;ad Con|dition,
<PB N="43" REF="29">
as I am unfit to relate my Suf|ferances, to one &s;o happy as your Ble&s;&s;ed Humour makes you; therefore as freely I quit you of Hearing what I cou'd &s;ay on this Subject: likewi&s;e allow me the Liberty of not an&s;wering in your own Stile; yet, dear <HI>Harry,</HI> write &s;till the &s;ame way: Once I could drink, talk &s;trangely, and be as mad as the be&s;t of you, my <HI>Boys;</HI> who knows but that I may come to it a|gain? Comfort me, 'tis well I can &s;tay thus long upon the matter, after the Life I have led, it is more than I did believe was po&s;&s;ible for me to do; therefore do not abandon me yet, try two or three Let|ters more, there is great hopes of me; and if that does not do the bu&s;ine&s;s, &s;end me to my <HI>Wood</HI> again, and allow me not other <HI>Corre&s;pondent,</HI> but pert and dull <HI>Ma&s;t</HI>&mdash;'s, a Puni&s;hment great enough for a greater Offender; for, in this my Mi&s;ery, he plays the <HI>Devil</HI> with me, &s;urpa&s;&s;es him&s;elf by much: Prithee, <HI>Killigrew,</HI> allay his Tongue with two or three &s;uch &s;harp things, as you and I us'd to &s;ay of, you know <HI>who,</HI> for I lo&s;t mine. And &s;o <HI>Farewel.</HI></P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>H. Savile.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="letters">
<PB N="44" REF="30">
<HEAD>LETTERS IN <HI>PROSE</HI> and <HI>VERSE,</HI> ON Several Occa&s;ions, BY Sir George Etheridge, <HI>Knight.</HI></HEAD>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<HEAD><HI>To his Friend in</HI> London.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Dear SIR,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>MY Letters from <HI>England</HI> tell me, that this Summer My Lord <HI>Chamberlain</HI> has won the Mony at <HI>Bowls,</HI> and my Lord <HI>Devon&s;hire</HI> at <HI>Dice;</HI> I hope neither of 'em have been lucky at your co&s;t. Before you receive this, I reckon you will be in your <HI>Winter Quar|ters,</HI>
<PB N="45" REF="30">
where you may have lei&s;ure to give me a &s;hort Account of what pa&s;s'd at the Campaign at <HI>Tunbridge.</HI> I cannot but re|member Mr. <HI>M.</HI> tho' he &s;eems to have quite forgot me; he is a very extraordi|nary Per&s;on, I find he had rather lend a Friend a hundred Pounds, than take the pains to write to him. I'm &s;en&s;ible his many Employments afford him little lei|&s;ure, and I &s;hou'd pity his Mi&s;tre&s;s, but that I am per&s;waded his Prudence has made him chu&s;e her in the Family. The Women here are not generally hand&s;om; yet there is a file of young Ladies in this Town, who&s;e Arms wou'd glitter, were they drawn up again&s;t the <HI>Maids of Ho|nour;</HI> but the <HI>Devil</HI>'s in't, Marriage is &s;o much their Bu&s;ine&s;s, that they cannot &s;a|tifie a Lover that has De&s;ires more fer|vent than <HI>Frank Villers.</HI> 'Tis a fine thing for a Man, who has been nouri&s;h'd &s;o many Years with good &s;ub&s;tantial Fle&s;h and Blood, to be reduc'd to Sighs an Wi&s;hes, and all tho&s;e Airy Cour&s;es which are &s;erved up to fea&s;t a <HI>Belle</HI> Pa&s;&s;ion; but to comfort my &s;elf, in my Misfortune, I have learn'd to <HI>Ogle</HI> and <HI>Langui&s;h</HI> in pub|lick, like any <HI>Walcup;</HI> and to content my &s;elf in private, with a piece of Hou&s;hold|bread,
<PB N="46" REF="31">
as well as &s;ome of my Friends. However unkind Fortune has been to you, don't revenge your &s;elf on me; force the Sullenne&s;s of your Temper, and let me hear from you; it is not rea&s;onable I &s;hould lo&s;e a <HI>Friend,</HI> becau&s;e you have lo&s;t your <HI>Money.</HI></P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>Yours,
G. Etheridge.</SIGNED> <DATELINE><HI>From</HI> Ratisbon, <DATE>Aug. 23 d, 88.</DATE></DATELINE></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="47" REF="31">
<HEAD>To the Earl of Middleton.</HEAD>
<LG>
<L>Since Love and Ver&s;e, as well as Wine,</L>
<L>Are brisker where the Sun does &s;hine,</L>
<L>'Tis &s;omething to lo&s;e two Degrees,</L>
<L>Now <HI>Age</HI> it &s;elf begins to freeze;</L>
<L>Yet this I patiently could bear,</L>
<L>If the rich <HI>Danube</HI>'s Beauties were</L>
<L>But only two Degrees le&s;s fair</L>
<L>Than the bright Nymphs of gentle <HI>Thames,</HI></L>
<L>Who warm me hither with their Beams;</L>
<L>Such power they have, they can di&s;pence</L>
<L>Five hundred Miles their Influence:</L>
<L>But Hunger forces Men to eat,</L>
<L>Tho' no Temptation's in the Meat.</L>
<L>How wou'd the Ogling Sparks de&s;pi&s;e</L>
<L>The Darling-dam&s;el of my Eyes,</L>
<L>Should they behold her at a Play,</L>
<L>As &s;he's trick'd up on Holiday,</L>
<L>When the whole Family combine,</L>
<L>For publick Pride, to make her &s;hine?</L>
<L>Her Locks, which long before lay matted,</L>
<L>Are, on this day, comb'd out and platted,</L>
<L>A Diamond-bodkin in each Tre&s;s,</L>
<L>The Badges of her Noblene&s;s;</L>
<L>For every Stone, as well as She,</L>
<L>Can boast an ancient Pedigree:</L>
<L><PB N="48" REF="32">
The&s;e form'd the Jewel Crest did grace</L>
<L>The Cap of the first Grave o'th' Race,</L>
<L>Preferr'd by <HI>Graffin Maryan,</HI></L>
<L>To adorn the handle of her Fan;</L>
<L>And, as by old Record appears,</L>
<L>Worn &s;ince in <HI>Rinigundus</HI> Years,</L>
<L>Now &s;parkling in the Fraulin's Hair,</L>
<L>No Rocket breaking in the Air,</L>
<L>Can with her &s;tarry Head compare;</L>
<L>Such Ropes of Pearl her Arms incumber,</L>
<L>She &s;carce can deal the Cards at Omber;</L>
<L>So many Rings each Finger freight,</L>
<L>They tremble with the mighty Weight;</L>
<L>The like in <HI>England</HI> ne'r was &s;een,</L>
<L>Since <HI>Holbin Drew, Hal,</HI> and his Queen.</L>
<L>But after the&s;e fanta&s;tick Flights,</L>
<L>The Lu&s;tre's meaner than the Lights:</L>
<L>The Thing that bears this glittering Pomp,</L>
<L>Is but a tawdry ill-bred Ramp,</L>
<L>Who&s;e Brawny Limbs and Martial Face,</L>
<L>Proclaim her of the <HI>Gothick</HI> Race,</L>
<L>More than the painted Pageantry</L>
<L>Of all her Father's Heraldry.</L>
<L>But there's another &s;ort of Creatures,</L>
<L>Who&s;e ruddy Looks, and grote&s;que Features,</L>
<L>Are &s;o much out of Nature's way,</L>
<L>You'd think'em &s;tamp'd on other Clay,</L>
<L>No lawful Daughters of Old <HI>Adam.</HI></L>
<L>'Mongst the&s;e, behold a City-Madam,</L>
<L><PB N="49" REF="32">
With Arms in <HI>Mittins,</HI> Head in <HI>Muff,</HI></L>
<L>A Dapper <HI>Cloak,</HI> and Reverend Ruff.</L>
<L>No Farce &s;o plea&s;ant as this Mawkin,</L>
<L>And the &s;oft &s;ound of <HI>High-Dutch</HI> talk|ing,</L>
<L>The pretty Jet &s;he has in walking:</L>
<L>Here unattended by the <HI>Graces,</HI></L>
<L>The Queen of <HI>Love</HI> in a &s;ad Ca&s;e is;</L>
<L><HI>Nature,</HI> her Active Mini&s;ter,</L>
<L>Neglects Affairs, and will not &s;tir,</L>
<L>Thinks it not worth the while to plea&s;e,</L>
<L>But when &s;he does is for her Ea&s;e;</L>
<L>Ev'n I, her most devout Adorer,</L>
<L>With wand'ring Thoughts appear before her,</L>
<L>And when I'm making an <HI>Oblation,</HI></L>
<L>Am fain to &s;pur <HI>Imagination,</HI></L>
<L>With &s;ome old <HI>London-Inclination.</HI></L>
<L>The Bow is bent at <HI>German</HI> Dame,</L>
<L>The Arrow flies at <HI>Engli&s;h</HI> Game;</L>
<L>Kindne&s;s, that can Indifference warm,</L>
<L>And blow that Calm into a Storm,</L>
<L>Has, in the very tender'st Hour,</L>
<L>Over my Gentlene&s;s no Power,</L>
<L>True to my Country-Womens Charms,</L>
<L>When Ki&s;s'd and Pre&s;s'd in Foreign Arms.</L>
</LG>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>G. Etheridge.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="50" REF="33">
<HEAD>To the Earl of MIDDLETON.</HEAD>
<LG>
<L>FRom hunting Whores, and hanting Play,</L>
<L>And minding nothing el&s;e all Day,</L>
<L>And all the Night too, you will &s;ay,</L>
<L>To make grave Legs in formal Fetters,</L>
<L>Conver&s;e with Fops, and write dull Letters,</L>
<L>To go to Bed' twixt Eight and Nine,</L>
<L>And &s;leep away my precious Time,</L>
<L>In &s;uch a idle &s;neaking Place,</L>
<L>Where <HI>Vice</HI> and <HI>Folly</HI> hide their Face;</L>
<L>And in a trouble&s;ome Di&s;gui&s;e,</L>
<L>The <HI>Wife</HI> &s;eems honest, <HI>Husband</HI> wife;</L>
<L>For <HI>Plea&s;ure</HI> here has the &s;ame Fate,</L>
<L>Which does attend <HI>Affairs</HI> of <HI>State;</HI></L>
<L>The plague of <HI>Ceremony</HI> infects,</L>
<L>Even in <HI>Love,</HI> the Softer <HI>Sex,</HI></L>
<L>Who an e&s;&s;ential <HI>Will</HI> neglect,</L>
<L>Rather than lo&s;e the least <HI>Re&s;pect:</HI></L>
<L>In regular <HI>Approach</HI> we &s;torm,</L>
<L>And never <HI>Vi&s;it</HI> but in <HI>Form;</HI></L>
<L>That is, &s;ending to know before,</L>
<L>At what a-clock they'll play the Whore.</L>
<L>The <HI>Nymphs</HI> are con&s;tant, <HI>Gallants</HI> private,</L>
<L>One &s;carce can gue&s;s who 'tis they drive at,</L>
<L><PB N="51" REF="33">
This &s;eems to me a <HI>Scurvey Fa&s;hion,</HI></L>
<L>Who have been bred in a <HI>Free Nation,</HI></L>
<L>With <HI>Liberty</HI> of <HI>Speech</HI> and <HI>Pa&s;&s;ion:</HI></L>
<L>Yet cannot I forbear to <HI>Spark</HI> it,</L>
<L>And make the best of a <HI>Bad-market;</HI></L>
<L>Meeting with One, by Chance, <HI>Kind-hearted,</HI></L>
<L>Who no <HI>Preliminaries</HI> &s;tarted,</L>
<L>I enter'd beyond <HI>Expectation,</HI></L>
<L>Into a clo&s;e <HI>Negotiation;</HI></L>
<L>Of which, here after, a <HI>Relation:</HI></L>
<L>Humble to <HI>Furtune,</HI> not her Slave,</L>
<L>I &s;till was pleas'd with what &s;he gave:</L>
<L>And with a firm and cheerful <HI>Mind,</HI></L>
<L>I &s;teer my Cour&s;e with every <HI>Wind,</HI></L>
<L>To all the <HI>Ports</HI> &s;he has de&s;ign'd.</L>
</LG>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>G. ETHERIDGE.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="52" REF="34">
<HEAD>A LETTER FROM <HI>ENGLAND.</HI></HEAD>
<HEAD TYPE="sub">To Sir GEORGE ETHERIDGE, Knight.</HEAD>
<LG>
<L>TO you who live in chill Degree,</L>
<L>As <HI>Map</HI> informs, of Fifty-three,</L>
<L>And do not much for <HI>Cold</HI> attone,</L>
<L>By bringing thither Fifty-one:</L>
<L>Methinks all Climes &s;hould be alike,</L>
<L>From <HI>Tropick</HI> to the <HI>Pole Arctick,</HI></L>
<L>Since you have &s;uch a Con&s;titution,</L>
<L>As no where &s;uffers Diminution;</L>
<L>You can be Old in grave Debate,</L>
<L>And Young in <HI>Love-Affairs</HI> of <HI>State;</HI></L>
<L>And both to Wives and Husbands &s;how,</L>
<L>The Vigour of a <HI>Plenipo&mdash;</HI></L>
<L><PB N="53" REF="34">
Like mighty <HI>Miffi'ner</HI> you come,</L>
<L>Ad partes Infidelium:</L>
<L>A Work of wond'rous <HI>Merit</HI> &s;ure,</L>
<L>So far to go, &s;o much endure,</L>
<L>And all to preach to <HI>German</HI> Dame,</L>
<L>Where &s;ound of <HI>Cupid</HI> never came;</L>
<L>Le&s;s had you done, had you been &s;ent,</L>
<L>As far as <HI>Drake,</HI> or <HI>Pinto</HI> went</L>
<L>For <HI>Cloves</HI> or <HI>Nutmegs</HI> to the Line-a,</L>
<L>Or even for <HI>Oranges</HI> to <HI>China;</HI></L>
<L>That had indeed been <HI>Charity,</HI></L>
<L>Where <HI>Love-&s;ick</HI> Ladies helple&s;s lye,</L>
<L>Chopt, and for want of Liquor dry.</L>
<L>But you have made your <HI>Zeal</HI> appear,</L>
<L>Within the Circle of the <HI>Bear;</HI></L>
<L>What Region of the <HI>Earth</HI> &s;o dull,</L>
<L>That is not of your Labours full?</L>
<L>Triptolemy, <HI>&s;o &s;ung the</HI> Nine,</L>
<L>Strew'd Plenty from his Cart <HI>Divine:</HI></L>
<L>But, &s;pite of all the&s;e <HI>Fable-makers,</HI></L>
<L>He never &s;ow'd on <HI>Almain-acres;</HI></L>
<L>No, that was left, by <HI>Fate</HI>'s Decree,</L>
<L>To be perform'd and &s;ung by Thee.</L>
<L>Thou break'st thro' Forms with as much ea&s;e,</L>
<L>As the <HI>French King</HI> thro' Articles.</L>
<L>In grand Affairs thy Days are &s;pent,</L>
<L>In waging weighty Compliment,</L>
<L>With Such as <HI>Monarchs</HI> repre&s;ent;</L>
<L><PB N="54" REF="35">
They whom &s;uch vast <HI>Fatigues</HI> attend,</L>
<L>Want &s;ome &s;oft <HI>Minutes</HI> to unbend,</L>
<L>To &s;hew the <HI>World,</HI> that now and then</L>
<L>Great <HI>Mini&s;ters</HI> are <HI>Mortal Men;</HI></L>
<L>Then <HI>Rhini&s;h Rummers</HI> walk the Round,</L>
<L>In <HI>Bumpers</HI> every <HI>King</HI> is crown'd;</L>
<L>Be&s;ides three Holy <HI>Miter'd Hectors,</HI></L>
<L>And the whole Colledge of <HI>Electors;</HI></L>
<L>No <HI>Health</HI> of <HI>Potentate</HI> is &s;unk,</L>
<L>That pays to make his <HI>Envoy</HI> drunk:</L>
<L>The&s;e <HI>Dutch</HI> Delights I mention'd last,</L>
<L>Suit not, I know, your <HI>Engli&s;h</HI> Tast;</L>
<L>For <HI>Wine,</HI> to leave a <HI>Whore</HI> or <HI>Play,</HI></L>
<L>Was ne'r Your <HI>Excellency</HI>'s way;</L>
<L>Nor need the <HI>Title</HI> give <HI>Offence,</HI></L>
<L>For here You were his <HI>Excellence;</HI></L>
<L>For <HI>Gaming, Writing, Speaking, Keeping,</HI></L>
<L>His <HI>Excellence</HI> for all but <HI>Sleeping.</HI></L>
<L>Now if You Tope in <HI>Form,</HI> and <HI>Treat,</HI></L>
<L>'Tis the &s;ource <HI>Sawce</HI> to the <HI>Sweet Meat,</HI></L>
<L>The <HI>Fine</HI> You pay for being <HI>Great:</HI></L>
<L>Nay, there's a harder <HI>Impo&s;ition,</HI></L>
<L>Which is (indeed) the <HI>Court-petition,</HI></L>
<L>That &s;etting <HI>Worldly Pomp</HI> a&s;ide,</L>
<L>(Which <HI>Poet</HI> has at <HI>Font</HI> defy'd.)</L>
<L>You wou'd be pleas'd, in humble way,</L>
<L>To write a <HI>Trifle</HI> call'd a <HI>Play;</HI></L>
<L><PB N="55" REF="35">
This truly is a <HI>Degradation,</HI></L>
<L>But wou'd oblige the <HI>Crown</HI> and <HI>Nation,</HI></L>
<L>Next to Your wi&s;e <HI>Negotiation:</HI></L>
<L>If You pretend, as well You may,</L>
<L>Your high <HI>Degree;</HI> Your Friends will &s;ay,</L>
<L>The Duke <HI>St. Aignan</HI> made a <HI>Play:</HI></L>
<L>If <HI>Gallick Peer</HI> convince You &s;carce,</L>
<L>His Grace of <HI>B&mdash;</HI>has writ a <HI>Farce:</HI></L>
<L>And You, who&s;e <HI>Comick Wit</HI> is <HI>Ter&s;eal,</HI></L>
<L>Can hardly fall below <HI>Rehear&s;al.</HI></L>
<L>Then fini&s;h what You once began,</L>
<L>But &s;crible fa&s;ter, if You can:</L>
<L>For yet no <HI>George,</HI> to our <HI>Di&s;cerning,</HI></L>
<L>Has e're writ under ten Years <HI>Warning.</HI></L>
</LG>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="56" REF="36">
<HEAD>A Letter to a Lady, that de&s;ign'd to Marry a Courtier.</HEAD>
<LG>
<L>WHat Irreligious Cour&s;es have you run,</L>
<L>That &s;uch hard Penance must be un|dergone?</L>
<L>Have you, like Harlots, made your Tail your Trade,</L>
<L>And whor'd you into Su&s;tenance and Bread?</L>
<L>Have you to Ho&s;pital &s;ome <HI>Lover</HI> &s;ent?</L>
<L>And for <HI>that</HI> Mi&s;chief, by this wor&s;e, repent.</L>
<L>At <HI>Rome</HI> one Penance for their Ills they bear;</L>
<L>But you will all in this united &s;hare.</L>
<L>None e're this dangerous Sea of Mi&s;chief past,</L>
<L>Who did not &s;uffer, or repent at la&s;t.</L>
<L>The giddy Pa&s;&s;ions of a youthful Mind,</L>
<L>Are oft by Wi&s;hes &s;way'd or Beauty blind.</L>
<L>Girls chu&s;e their Husbands as they do their Cloaths;</L>
<L>Where, if without no Fault they can di&s;|clo&s;e;</L>
<L>They ea&s;ily e&s;pou&s;e the Pageant Show,</L>
<L>In hopes the Colour will the Service do:</L>
<L>So you on Marriage look, are more intent</L>
<L>Upon a fine trimm'd Coat, than &s;ettlement.</L>
<L><PB N="57" REF="36">
One, who tho' de&s;titute of <HI>Wit</HI> and <HI>Sen&s;e,</HI></L>
<L>Is &s;tockt with E&s;&s;ence, Powder, and Pretence,</L>
<L>What tho' without he &s;eem de&s;ign'd for Show,</L>
<L>The greatest <HI>A&s;s</HI> is &s;till the greatest <HI>Beau:</HI></L>
<L>And <HI>A&s;&s;es</HI> always are e&s;teem'd by you.</L>
<L>Don't tell me that his Promi&s;es are great;</L>
<L>Who e'r forbore 'em, that de&s;ign'd to cheat?</L>
<L><HI>Lovers</HI> and <HI>Courtiers,</HI> you must know, by cour&s;e,</L>
<L>Are much as fickle as your &s;elf, or wor&s;e:</L>
<L>Nor that his Page that follows at his Tail,</L>
<L>Will e're &s;ecure him, upon Change, from Jail.</L>
<L>There's great Uncertainty in Human Life,</L>
<L>And he must &s;tick to's place, as well as Wife:</L>
<L>And that, you'll &s;ay, is a laborious thing;</L>
<L>All Night to &s;erve his Wife, all Day the King.</L>
<L>Don't tell me of his Gardens and Retreat;</L>
<L>Fine Wives and Hor&s;es &s;eldom make Men great.</L>
<L>Except we do 'em, as &s;ome Hackneys take,</L>
<L>More for our Interest, than our Plea&s;ure's &s;ake:</L>
<L>Both to recreate by turns, when first enjoy'd;</L>
<L>But, by Po&s;&s;e&s;&s;ion of them both, we're cloy'd.</L>
<L>Would you procure a Husband for your Ea&s;e,</L>
<L>Who for his <HI>Folly,</HI> not his <HI>Parts,</HI> might plea&s;e;</L>
<L><PB N="58" REF="37">
Then take a <HI>State&s;man,</HI> when he's gone to <HI>Court,</HI></L>
<L>You may contrive how to promote your <HI>Sport.</HI></L>
<L>In every In&s;tant deal for fre&s;h <HI>Delight;</HI></L>
<L>And fill his <HI>Wi&s;hes,</HI> and his <HI>Arms</HI> at <HI>Night.</HI></L>
<L>Or if his <HI>Bus'ne&s;s</HI> ben't a fit <HI>Di&s;gui&s;e,</HI></L>
<L>To give admittance to a <HI>Harmle&s;s Vice:</HI></L>
<L>Yet his great <HI>Folly</HI> will contribute &s;till</L>
<L>To help your <HI>Wi&s;hes,</HI> and promote your <HI>Will.</HI></L>
<L>Under the Notion of a <HI>Country Friend,</HI></L>
<L>You many pretty <HI>Plea&s;ures</HI> may intend.</L>
<L>But to re&s;erve your <HI>Virtue</HI> for a <HI>Fool,</HI></L>
<L>Exceeds the <HI>Limits</HI> of <HI>Prudential Rule.</HI></L>
<L>For a dull <HI>A&s;s,</HI> who&s;e <HI>Pa&s;&s;ion</HI>'s like his <HI>Brain,</HI></L>
<L>Rather than <HI>Plea&s;ure,</HI> will create your <HI>Pain.</HI></L>
<L>And <HI>Lover's Exta&s;ies</HI> are ne'r &s;o great,</L>
<L>As when in <HI>Sympathetick Fire</HI> they meet:</L>
<L>For <HI>Fools</HI> in <HI>Love,</HI> with <HI>Soldiers</HI> may com|pare,</L>
<L>Who, &s;tunn'd with clamorous Noi&s;e of <HI>Guns</HI> and <HI>War,</HI></L>
<L>Are &s;ilently regardle&s;s of <HI>Command,</HI></L>
<L>And, &s;en&s;ele&s;s of your <HI>Plea&s;ure</HI> u&s;ele&s;s &s;tand.</L>
<L>Thus they, when <HI>Pul&s;e</HI> of <HI>Pa&s;&s;ion</HI> e're beats high,</L>
<L>Seem quite regardle&s;s of the profer'd <HI>Joy;</HI></L>
<L><PB N="59" REF="37">
And, ignorant of the <HI>Symptoms</HI> of <HI>Delight,</HI></L>
<L>Smoak out the <HI>Day,</HI> and Snore away the <HI>Night.</HI></L>
<L>Don't tell me, You'r exce&s;&s;ively in <HI>Love;</HI></L>
<L>Your <HI>Wit</HI> will &s;oon that vain <HI>Pretence</HI> di&s;|prove.</L>
<L><HI>Blockheads</HI> much labour'd under that of old;</L>
<L>But none dies now, but for their Darling, <HI>Gold.</HI></L>
<L>Great is your <HI>Love,</HI> and great the <HI>Ri&s;que</HI> you run,</L>
<L>To be <HI>Unhappy,</HI> or at least <HI>Undone.</HI></L>
<L>Tho&s;e <HI>Plea&s;ures</HI> Young <HI>Girls</HI> fancy are &s;o Good,</L>
<L>Are &s;eldom <HI>felt,</HI> but always <HI>under&s;tood.</HI></L>
<L>'Tis but the <HI>Magick Spell,</HI> which <HI>Nature</HI> yields,</L>
<L>To bring &s;uch untry'd <HI>Lovers</HI> to its Fields:</L>
<L>A &s;pecious <HI>Bait,</HI> fit <HI>Mankind</HI> to en&s;lave,</L>
<L>And to bereave us of the <HI>Joys</HI> we have.</L>
<L>Wou'd you be vertuous, get a <HI>Man</HI> of <HI>Juice,</HI></L>
<L>Fertile in <HI>Wit,</HI> and of his <HI>Love</HI> profu&s;e;</L>
<L>For only &s;uch are fit for <HI>Womens</HI> U&s;e:</L>
<L>Where you in mutual <HI>Bonds</HI> of <HI>Joy</HI> may range,</L>
<L>And in your <HI>Ki&s;&s;es</HI> may your <HI>Souls</HI> exchange.</L>
<L>One, with &s;uch <HI>Qualities,</HI> wou'd a <HI>Nun</HI> in|vite,</L>
<L>To quit <HI>Eternal Day</HI> for <HI>Earthly Night.</HI></L>
<L><PB N="60" REF="38">
Such would your lavi&s;h Wi&s;hes all engage,</L>
<L>And guard your Vertue as &s;ecure as Age.</L>
<L>In Joys unknown you then might pa&s;s the Day,</L>
<L>Till Night &s;hall take the <HI>Sun</HI>'s bright Beams away,</L>
<L>And both in clammy Joys, and Slumber, quit the Fray.</L>
</LG>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>J. W.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="61" REF="38">
<HEAD><HI>To Mr.</HI> Congreve.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Dear SIR,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>THE la&s;t Fortnight which I pa&s;t in Town, and the fir&s;t which I pa&s;t in the Country, I had &s;o much Sickne&s;s, and &s;o much Spleen, that the greate&s;t Kindne&s;s I could do my <HI>Friends,</HI> was, to let them know nothing of me. And yet, unle&s;s I had been &s;ilent &s;o long, I &s;hould hardly know what to write to you. The Excu&s;e for having held my Tongue, affords me Matter to talk of. Otherwi&s;e I could find nothing to &s;ay to you, unle&s;s I would &s;end you Profe&s;&s;ions of <HI>Friend&s;hip;</HI> which, I hope, are wholly needle&s;s: or entertain you with Talk of my &s;elf. And I am yet more unwilling to do the la&s;t than the fir&s;t: For I have ob&s;erv'd, That, for the mo&s;t part, a Man who talks much of Him&s;elf, talks of a Subject which he does not at all un|der&s;tand. But you are to be excepted from this General Rule; and you could oblige me with nothing more grateful
<PB N="62" REF="39">
than &s;ome News of your &s;elf. I long to know how you proceed in your <HI>Trage|dy,</HI> and &s;hould be glad to be inform'd how many are making a Party for it; that is, how many are writing Plays be|&s;ides. I make no doubt but it will ap|pear at the Head of a numerous Train; yet I believe you will have rea&s;on to be a&s;ham'd of &s;ome of your Equipage. I hear of three or four, who have a couple of Plays a-piece, which are to go into the Hou&s;e, as Vermin entred into the <HI>Ark,</HI> by Pairs; where they are both re|ceived and pre&s;erved with as much care, as the mo&s;t Rea&s;onable, and the mo&s;t Noble Productions. Since <HI>Providence</HI> will have it &s;o, we ought to conclude, that it is fitting it &s;hould be &s;o. And indeed, why may not their <HI>Songs</HI> and <HI>Madri|gals,</HI> and ab&s;urd and Speechle&s;s <HI>Farces,</HI> help to con&s;titute the Beauty and Har|mony of the <HI>Intellectual World,</HI> as well as <HI>Owls,</HI> and <HI>Stotes,</HI> and <HI>Polecats,</HI> do that of <HI>Material Beings.</HI> However, the&s;e Fellows Productions are fit to di&s;cover one Truth to us, which we &s;hould not have imagin'd without them; and that is, That there are greater <HI>Sots</HI> than them|&s;elves; for &s;uch are all their Applauders.
<PB N="63" REF="39">
But to leave them for better Company, give my Service to all my <HI>Friends</HI> at <HI>Will's;</HI> both to tho&s;e who &s;hew their Wit by their Writing, and to tho&s;e who by their Silence &s;hew their Judgments. Tell&mdash;and&mdash;and&mdash;, that I would fain know of them; nay, and of you too; &s;o as <HI>D</HI>&mdash;&s;ays, <HI>What a Devil have I done to you, that you cannot let a Man alone in his</HI> Solitude, <HI>but that you must di&s;turb the</HI> Tranquility <HI>of his Mind:</HI> I mean that little I have here. For hither come your <HI>Idea's</HI> at Five eve|ry Day preci&s;ely, and give me furious De&s;ires to be at <HI>Covent-garden.</HI> I am forced to make u&s;e of a little piece of <HI>Phi|lo&s;ophy;</HI> for I fancy you Quibling there, and then I am as calm as a Matron. For I am apt to believe, that I have better Diver&s;ion here. I am lately, you mu&s;t know, grown a great <HI>Angler;</HI> perhaps, the greate&s;t Man in the Age for <HI>Gudgeon|fi&s;hing;</HI> tho' I &s;ay it, who &s;hould not &s;ay it. That is Pa&s;time which pro|bably you may de&s;pi&s;e. However, as I take it, it is better than lying upon the <HI>Catch</HI> at <HI>Will's,</HI> and laying Snares for Puns, as Spiders do for Flies. But I am about to fall into the Vice, which I
<PB N="64" REF="40">
de&s;ign'd to avoid For I am about to talk of My &s;elf to you, which is a Sub|ject of which I am &s;ure I ought to &s;ay nothing, &s;ince it's needle&s;s to a&s;&s;ure you, that I am</P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>Your humble Servant.</SIGNED>
<DATELINE>Newport, <DATE><HI>Aug.</HI> 96.</DATE></DATELINE></CLOSER>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="65" REF="40">
<HEAD><HI>To Mr.</HI> Wycherley.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Dear SIR,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>THo' I have enough to alledge in the behalf of my Silence, to excu&s;e it to any Man living but You; yet I have always profe&s;s'd that peculiar E&s;teem for you, that to make a &s;ufficient Apology for my &s;elf, when Appearances are &s;o much again&s;t me, I had need have an equal &s;hare of Wit with You. But &s;ince I come infinitely &s;hort of that, You would oblige me extreamly, if You would in&s;truct me by the next Po&s;t, what Thoughts and what Words I &s;hould u&s;e to make You forgive me. Yet to engage You to that, I know You expect &s;omething at lea&s;t that is like Wit from me. But You may every jot as rea&s;onably expect a lu&s;ty Letter of Credit from me. And who the Devil, at this Conjuncture, &s;hould expect, that the Po&s;t &s;hould bring either Wit or Mo|ney with him, when the Paper-credit of the Nation is lo&s;t in relation to both. Yet we have rea&s;on to believe, &s;ince You are re&s;olv'd to turn Author again, that You may retrieve it in regard to one of them. I wi&s;h You all the Succe&s;s to which Your
<PB N="66" REF="41">
Merit entitles You; and that is another Rea&s;on to make me wi&s;h for a Peace. For the Men who are able to judge, have now no lei&s;ure to read: They who have the greate&s;t &s;hare of Wit and Spirit, being engaged in the Armies, or in Affairs. When <HI>Apollo</HI> now-a-days in&s;pires a Poet, he did as when he fed <HI>Admetus</HI> his Sheep, and the God &s;ings now to Cattle. Wit certainly never was at &s;o low an Ebb, of which the <HI>Coffee-hou&s;e</HI> is a lamentable ex|ample, as it is a mi&s;erable Spectacle. When you, and one or two more went out of Town, the great Supports of Politene&s;s left it, and then the Enemy broke in upon us; and &s;carce any thing has appear'd ever &s;ince in it, unle&s;s it be that Anti-wit, a Game&s;ter. We almo&s;t regret tho&s;e moments of abominable Me|mory, when Puns flew about as thick as Squibs upon a City-Fe&s;tival. Even Quib|bles, and Quarter-quibbles, if they could now be found, would be as much valued as Vermin are in Dearths. But what &s;hall we &s;ay?
<Q><L>&mdash;<HI>Etiam periere ruinae.</HI></L>
<L><HI>The very Ruines of Wit have peri&s;h'd.</HI></L></Q></P>
<P>So much of the <HI>Coffee-hou&s;e</HI> in general.
<PB N="67" REF="41">
Now for one or two of the noble Mem|bers in particular. And fir&s;t, I have Wonders to tell you of <HI>Lucifer:</HI>
<Q><L><HI>Quod optanti Divum promittere nemo</HI></L>
<L><HI>Auderet, volvenda dies, en, attulit ultro.</HI></L></Q></P>
<P><HI>Lucifer</HI> is grown the mo&s;t regular Fel|low in the Univer&s;e: For he ri&s;es &s;till ex|actly after Sun-&s;etting, and goes to Bed &s;till preci&s;ely before Sun-ri&s;ing; and he and his Father, I mean his Spiritual Father, that is, his Father <HI>Phoebus,</HI> live ju&s;t as he and his Natural Father did, without ever &s;eeing the Face of one another. But he has ju&s;t &s;ent a Me&s;&s;age to me from the the <HI>Ro&s;e;</HI> where, as the Drawer tells me, he has the mo&s;t earne&s;t Bu&s;ine&s;s in the World with me. The mo&s;t earne&s;t Bu&s;i|ne&s;s in the World to <HI>Lucifer,</HI> is, the &s;e|curing a Man to &s;it up till five with him. However, I will ju&s;t go and hear what he &s;ays, and drink Mr. <HI>Wycherley</HI>'s Health with him. I am,</P>
<CLOSER><SALUTE>Dear Sir, </SALUTE>
<SIGNED>Your most humble Servant, J. Dennis.</SIGNED>
<DATELINE>Lond. <DATE>Sept. 10, 1696.</DATE></DATELINE></CLOSER>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="68" REF="42">
<HEAD><HI>To</HI> Dorinda.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Madam,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>OH! how tedious is Ab&s;ence from the Per&s;ons we adore! And with what killing Angui&s;h did I receive the doleful News of your Departure! Where a mutual Inclination has united two ten|der Hearts, a Separation is more in&s;up|portable than Death it &s;elf: Yet if my <HI>Dorinda</HI> left the Town without a Sigh, I am more mi&s;erable &s;till. You could not &s;ure forget (&s;o &s;oon at lea&s;t) all tho&s;e obliging Vows you &s;o fervently made; Vows, who&s;e Solemnity and Frequency were no incon&s;iderable part of my Feli|city. Alas! 'tis equally impo&s;&s;ible for me to expre&s;s the Horrors I now feel, or the powerful Lu&s;tre of tho&s;e victori|ous Eyes, that gave Birth to my raging Pa&s;&s;ion. Since that fatal Minute, that ravi&s;h'd from me all my Joys, in your leaving <HI>London,</HI> Heaven's my Witne&s;s, and every Divinity that con&s;pir'd my Ruine; nay, by your own belov'd Self I
<PB N="69" REF="42">
&s;wear, (the greate&s;t Oath my Love can invent) That my Heart has known no other Bli&s;s than the endearing Thoughts of you. The plea&s;ing <HI>Idea</HI> your irre&s;i|&s;table Beauties have imprinted on my faithful Brea&s;t, at pre&s;ent con&s;titutes all the ea&s;ie Moments I enjoy; and how few they mu&s;t be, under the rated Circum|&s;tance of being depriv'd of your Sight, none can know, but tho&s;e that love as well. Two Po&s;t-days are now pa&s;t, and not one Line from my <HI>Dorinda!</HI> Oh! what can mean this Silence? Do you then joyn with <HI>Fate</HI> to break a Heart, that would not vouch&s;afe to live, but to be yours? An unu&s;ual Shivering darts through every Vein, and my drooping Spirits pre&s;age &s;ome other evil, which your unhappy <HI>Strephon</HI> mu&s;t undergo. Were it only want of Health, and not of Love, that prevented your writing, my grief wou'd be le&s;s wounding. You may have a Feaver; but that you &s;hou'd be fal&s;e, I will not as yet believe po&s;&s;ible. One Proof of your Infidelity would ter|minate all my Pain: For I were utterly unworthy of your Affection, if mine cou'd &s;upport &s;o fatal an A&s;&s;urance. But &s;uch Su&s;picions are injurious; and I wou'd
<PB N="70" REF="43">
rather que&s;tion the Te&s;timony of my Sen&s;es, than think you were Untrue. Oh! let me hear from you, tho' but one Word; the Rigors of Ab&s;ence from your Arms and Eyes, will be le&s;s intolerable: Till then, my Torments are more than <HI>Arithmetick</HI> can number, or <HI>Rhetorick</HI> de|&s;cribe. Oh, <HI>Dorinda!</HI> that I were at your Feet, to give you fre&s;h A&s;&s;urances of the Inviolablene&s;s of my Pa&s;&s;ion, who&s;e Greatne&s;s was once your Wonder and Delight.</P>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="letters and speeches">
<PB N="71" REF="43">
<HEAD>LETTERS AND <HI>SPEECHES,</HI> ON SEVERAL SUBJECTS, By the Late Duke of Buckingham.</HEAD>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<HEAD><HI>To the Lord</HI> Bercley.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>My LORD,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>I Mu&s;t needs beg your Lord&s;hip's Ex|cu&s;e, for not waiting upon you next <HI>Sunday</HI> at Dinner, for two Rea&s;ons: The fir&s;t is, Becau&s;e Mrs. <HI>B</HI>&mdash;refu&s;es to hear me preach; which I take to be a kind Slur upon &s;o learned a Divine as I am. The other, That Sir <HI>Robert Cl</HI>&mdash;|is to go into the Country upon <HI>Monday,</HI> and has de&s;ir'd me to &s;tay within to
<PB N="72" REF="44">
Morrow, about Signing &s;ome Papers, which mu&s;t be di&s;patch'd for the Clearing &s;o much of my E&s;tate, as in &s;pite of my own Negligence, and the extraordinary Perqui&s;its I have receiv'd from the Court, is yet left me. I'm &s;ure your Lord&s;hip is too much my Friend, not to give me Leave to look after my Temporal Affairs, if you do but con&s;ider how little I'm like to get by my Spirituality, except Mrs. <HI>B</HI>&mdash;be very much in the wrong: Pray, tell her I am re&s;olv'd hereafter, never to to &s;wear by any other than <HI>Jo. A&s;h;</HI> and if that be a Sin, 'tis as odd a one as ever &s;he heard of. I am,</P>
<CLOSER><SALUTE>My Lord, </SALUTE> <SIGNED>Your Lord&s;hip's most humble, and most faithful Servant,
Buckingham.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="speech">
<PB N="73" REF="44">
<HEAD><HI>The</HI> DUKE'<HI>s</HI> Speech <HI>in a Conference.</HI></HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Gentlemen of the Hou&s;e of <HI>Commons,</HI></SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>I Am commanded by the Hou&s;e of <HI>Peers,</HI> to open to you the Matter of this Conference; which is a Task I could wi&s;h their Lord&s;hips had been pleas'd to lay upon Any-body el&s;e, both for their own &s;akes and mine: Having ob&s;erv'd, in that little Experience I have made in the World, there can be nothing of grea|ter Difficulty, than to Unite Men in their Opinions, who&s;e Intere&s;ts &s;eem to di&s;agree.</P>
<P>This, <HI>Gentlemen,</HI> I fear, is at pre&s;ent our Ca&s;e; but yet I hope, when we have a little better con&s;ider'd of it, we &s;hall find, that a greater Intere&s;t does oblige us at this time, rather to joyn in the Pre|&s;ervation of both our Priviledges, than to differ about the Violation of either.</P>
<P>We acknowledge it is our Intere&s;t to defend the Right of the <HI>Commons;</HI> for, &s;hould we &s;uffer them to be oppre&s;t, it
<PB N="74" REF="45">
would not be long before it might come to be our own Ca&s;e: And I humbly con|ceive it will al&s;o appear to be the Intere&s;t of the <HI>Commons,</HI> to uphold the Priviledge of the <HI>Lords;</HI> that &s;o we may be in a con|dition to &s;tand by and &s;upport them.</P>
<P>All that their <HI>Lord&s;hips</HI> de&s;ire of you on this Occa&s;ion, is, That you will pro|ceed with them as u&s;ually Friends do, when they are in Di&s;pute one with ano|ther, That you will not be impatient of hearing Arguments urged again&s;t your Opinions, but examine the Weight of what is &s;aid, and then impartially con|&s;ider which of us two, are likelie&s;t to be in the wrong.</P>
<P>If we are in the wrong, we and our Predece&s;&s;ors have been &s;o for the&s;e many hundred of Years; and not only our Pre|dece&s;&s;ors, but yours too: This being the fir&s;t time that ever an Appeal was made in point of Judicature, from the <HI>Lords</HI> Hou&s;e, to the hou&s;e of <HI>Commons.</HI> Nay, tho&s;e very <HI>Commons,</HI> which turn'd the <HI>Lords</HI> out of this Hou&s;e, tho' they took from them many other of their Privileges, yet left them the con&s;tant Practice of this till the very la&s;t day of their Sitting. And
<PB N="75" REF="45">
this will be made appear by &s;everal Pre|cedents, the&s;e Noble <HI>Lords</HI> will lay be|fore you, much better than I can pre|tend to do.</P>
<P>Since this Bu&s;ine&s;s has been in Agita|tion, their <HI>Lord&s;hips</HI> have been a little more curious than ordinary, to inform them&s;elves of the true nature of the&s;e Matters now in Que&s;tion before Us; which I &s;hall endeavour to explain to you, as far as my &s;mall Ability, and my Aver&s;ion to hard Words will give me leave. For how&s;oever the Law, to make it a My&s;tery and a Trade, may be wrapt up in Terms of Art, yet it is founded in Rea&s;on, and is obvious to common Sence.</P>
<P>The Power of Judicature does natural|ly de&s;cend, and not a&s;cend; that is, no Inferiour Court can have any Power, which is not deriv'd to it from &s;ome Pow|er above it.</P>
<P>The <HI>King</HI> is, by the Laws of this Land, Supreme Judge, in all Cau&s;es Eccle&s;ia&s;ti|cal and Civil. And &s;o there is no Court, High or Low, can Act, but in Subordi|nation to Him; and tho' they do not all I&s;&s;ue out their Writs in the <HI>King</HI>'s Name,
<PB N="76" REF="46">
yet they can I&s;&s;ue out none but by Ver|tue of &s;ome Power they have received from Him.</P>
<P>Now every particular Court has &s;uch particular Power as the <HI>King</HI> has given it, and for that rea&s;on has it Bounds: But the Highe&s;t Court, in which the <HI>King</HI> can po&s;&s;ible Sit; that is, His Su|preme Court of <HI>Lords</HI> in Parliament, has in it all Judicial Power, and con&s;e|quently no Bounds: I mean, no Bounds of Juri&s;diction; for the Highe&s;t Court is to Govern according to the Laws, as well as the Lowe&s;t.</P>
<P>I &s;uppo&s;e none will make a Que&s;tion, but that every Man, and every Cau&s;e, is to be tried according to <HI>Magna Charta;</HI> that is, by Peers, or according to the Laws of the Land. And he that is tried by the Eccle&s;ia&s;tical Courts, the Court of Admiralty, or the High Court of <HI>Lords</HI> in Parliament, is tried as much by the Laws of the Land, as he that is tried by the <HI>King's-Bench,</HI> or <HI>Common-Pleas.</HI></P>
<P>When the&s;e Inferior Courts happen to wrangle among them&s;elves, which they mu&s;t often do, by rea&s;on of their being bound up to particular Cau&s;es, and their
<PB N="77" REF="46">
having all equally and earne&s;tly a De&s;ire to try all Cau&s;es them&s;elves, then the Su|preme Court is forc'd to hear their Com|plaints, becau&s;e there is no other way of deciding them. And this, under favour, is an Original Cau&s;e of Courts, tho' not of Men.</P>
<P>Now, the&s;e Original Cau&s;es of Courts, mu&s;t al&s;o of nece&s;&s;ity induce Men, for &s;a|ving of Charges, and Di&s;patch &s;ake, to bring their Cau&s;e originally before the Supreme Court. But then the Court is not obliged to receive them; but pro|ceeds by Rules of Prudence, in either retaining, or di&s;mi&s;&s;ing them, as they think fit.</P>
<P>This is, under Favour, the &s;um of all that your Precedents can &s;hew us; which is nothing but what we practi&s;e every day: That is, that very often, becau&s;e we would not be mole&s;ted with hearing too many particular Ca&s;es, we refer them back to other Courts. And all the Argument you can po&s;&s;ibly draw from hence, will not in any kind le&s;&s;en our Power, but only &s;hew an Unwillingne&s;s we have, to trouble our &s;elves often with Matters of this Nature.</P>
<P><PB N="78" REF="47">
Nor will this appear &s;trange, if you con|&s;ider the Con&s;titution of our Hou&s;e; it being made up, partly of &s;uch who&s;e Em|ployments will not give them lei&s;ure to attend the Hearing of Private Cau&s;es; and entirely of tho&s;e that can receive no Profit by it.</P>
<P>And the truth is, the Di&s;pute at pre|&s;ent is not between the Hou&s;e of <HI>Lords,</HI> and the Hou&s;e of <HI>Commons,</HI> but between Us and <HI>We&s;tmin&s;ter-hall:</HI> For, as we de|&s;ire to have few or no Cau&s;es brought before us, becau&s;e we get nothing by 'em; &s;o they de&s;ire to have all Cau&s;es brought before them, for a Rea&s;on a lit|tle of the contrary nature.</P>
<P>For this very Rea&s;on, it is their Bu&s;i|ne&s;s to invent new ways of drawing Cau&s;es to their Courts, which ought not to be pleaded there. As for example, this very Cau&s;e of <HI>Skinner,</HI> that is now before us, (and I do not &s;peak this by Roat, for I have the Opinion of a Reverend Judge in the Ca&s;e, who informed us of it the other day in the Hou&s;e;) they have no way of bringing this Cau&s;e into <HI>We&s;t|min&s;ter-hall,</HI> but by this Form, the Rea|&s;on
<PB N="79" REF="47">
and Sence of which I leave to you to judge of:</P>
<P>The Form is this, That in&s;tead of &s;peaking as we ordinary Men do, that have no Art, That Mr. <HI>Skinner</HI> lo&s;t a Ship in the <HI>East-Indies;</HI> to bring this into their Courts, they mu&s;t &s;ay, That Mr. <HI>Skinner</HI> lo&s;t a Ship in the <HI>East-Indies,</HI> in the Pari&s;h of <HI>I&s;lington,</HI> in the County of <HI>Middle&s;ex.</HI></P>
<P>Now &s;ome of us, <HI>Lords,</HI> that did not under&s;tand the Refinene&s;s of this Stile, began to examine what the rea&s;on of this &s;hould be; and &s;o we found, that &s;ince they ought not by Right to try &s;uch Cau&s;es, they are re&s;olved to make bold, not only with our Priviledges, but the very Sence and Language of the whole Nation.</P>
<P>This I thought fit to mention, only to let you &s;ee, that this whole Cau&s;e, as well as many others, could not be try'd pro|perly in any place but at our Bar; except Mr. <HI>Skinner</HI> would have taken a Fancy, to try the Right of Juri&s;dictions between <HI>We&s;tmin&s;ter-hall</HI> and the Court of Admi|ralty, in&s;tead of &s;eeking Relief for the In|juries
<PB N="80" REF="48">
he had received in the place, only where it was to be given him.</P>
<P>One thing I hear is much in&s;i&s;ted upon which is, The Trial without Juries; to which I could an&s;wer, That &s;uch Trials are allow'd of in the <HI>Chancery,</HI> and other Courts: and, that when there is occa&s;ion for them, we make u&s;e of Juries too, both by directing them in the <HI>King</HI>'s <HI>Bench,</HI> and having them brought up to our Bar.</P>
<P>But I &s;hall only crave leave to put you in mind, That if you do not allow Us, in &s;ome Ca&s;es, to try Men without Ju|ries, you will then ab&s;olutely take away the u&s;e of Impeachments; which I hum|bly conceive you will not think proper to have done at this time.</P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="speech">
<PB N="81" REF="48">
<HEAD><HI>The</HI> Duke'<HI>s</HI> Speech <HI>in the Hou&s;e of</HI> Lords.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>My LORDS,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>THere is a Thing call'd <HI>Property,</HI> which (whatever &s;ome Men may think) is that the People of <HI>England</HI> are fonde&s;t of, it is that they will never part with, and it is that His <HI>Maje&s;ty,</HI> in His <HI>Speech,</HI> has promis'd Us to take a par|ticular care of.</P>
<P>This, my <HI>Lords,</HI> in my Opinion, can never be done, without giving an <HI>Indul|gence</HI> to all <HI>Prote&s;tant-Di&s;&s;enters.</HI></P>
<P>It is certainly a very unea&s;ie kind of Life to any Man that has either <HI>Chri&s;tian Charity, Humanity,</HI> or <HI>Good-nature,</HI> to &s;ee his Fellow-&s;ubjects daily abus'd, di|ve&s;ted of their Liberty and Birth-rights, and mi&s;erably thrown out of their Po&s;&s;e&s;|&s;ions and Freeholds, only becau&s;e they cannot agree with others in &s;ome <HI>Nice|ties of Religion,</HI> which their <HI>Con&s;ciences</HI> will not give them leave to con&s;ent to; and which, even by the Confe&s;&s;ion of
<PB N="82" REF="49">
Tho&s;e who would Impo&s;e it upon them, is no way nece&s;&s;ary to <HI>Salvation.</HI></P>
<P>But, my <HI>Lords,</HI> be&s;ides this, and all that may be &s;aid upon it, in order to the Improvement of our Trade, and the In|crea&s;e of the Wealth, Strength, and Great|ne&s;s of this <HI>Nation,</HI> (which, under Fa|vour, I &s;hall pre&s;ume to di&s;cour&s;e of at &s;ome other time) there is, methinks, in this Notion of <HI>Per&s;ecution,</HI> a very gro&s;s Mi&s;take, both as to the Point of <HI>Govern|ment,</HI> and the Point of <HI>Religion.</HI></P>
<P>There is &s;o as to the Point of <HI>Govern|ment,</HI> becau&s;e it makes every Man's Safe|ty depend on the wrong place, not upon the <HI>Governour,</HI> or a Man's living well to|wards the <HI>Civil Government</HI> e&s;tabli&s;hed by <HI>Law,</HI> but upon his being tran&s;ported with Zeal for every Opinion that is held by tho&s;e that have Power in the <HI>Church</HI> then in Fa&s;hion.</P>
<P>And it is, I conceive, a Mi&s;take in <HI>Re|ligion,</HI> becau&s;e it is po&s;itively again&s;t the expre&s;s Doctrine and Example of <HI>Je&s;us Christ.</HI></P>
<P>Nay, my <HI>Lords,</HI> as to our <HI>Prote&s;tant Religion,</HI> there is &s;omething in it yet
<PB N="83" REF="49">
wor&s;e; for we <HI>Prote&s;tants</HI> maintain, That none of tho&s;e OPINIONS, which <HI>Chri&s;tians</HI> differ about, are <HI>Infallible;</HI> and therefore in Us, it is &s;omewhat an inex|cu&s;able Conception, <HI>That Men ought to be deprived of their Inheritance, and all the cer|tain Conveniences and Advantages of Life, becau&s;e they will not agree with us in our un|certain Opinions of</HI> Religion.</P>
<P>My humble Motion therefore, to your Lord&s;hips, is, <HI>That you will give me leave to bring in a Bill of</HI> Indulgence <HI>to all</HI> Di&s;|&s;enting-Prote&s;tants.</P>
<P>I know very well, That every <HI>Peer</HI> of the Realm has a Right to bring into <HI>Par|liament</HI> any Bill which he conceives to be u&s;eful to this <HI>Nation:</HI> but I thought it more re&s;pectful to your Lord&s;hips, to ask your Leave for it before; I cannot think the doing of it will be of any Prejudice to the Bill, becau&s;e I am confident the Rea|&s;on, the Prudence, and the Charitablene&s;s of it, will be able to ju&s;tifie it &s;elf to this <HI>Hou&s;e,</HI> and to the whole <HI>World.</HI></P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="speech">
<PB N="84" REF="50">
<HEAD><HI>The</HI> DUKE'<HI>S</HI> SPEECH <HI>in the Hou&s;e of</HI> LORDS.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>My LORDS,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>I Have often troubled your <HI>Lord&s;hips</HI> with my Di&s;cour&s;e in this <HI>Hou&s;e;</HI> but, I confe&s;s, I never did it with more trouble to my &s;elf, than I do at this time, for I &s;carce know where I &s;hould begin, or what I have to &s;ay to your <HI>Lord&s;hips:</HI> On the one &s;ide, I am afraid of being thought an Unquiet and Pragmatical Man; for, in this Age, every Man that cannot bear every thing, is called Unquiet; and he that does but ask Que&s;tions, for which he ought to be concerned, is looked upon as a Pragmatical. On the other &s;ide, I am more afraid of being thought a di&s;hone&s;t Man; and of all Men, I am mo&s;t afraid of being thought &s;o by my &s;elf; for every one is be&s;t Judge of the Integrity of his own Inten|tion: And tho' it does not always follow, that he is Pragmatical whom others take to be &s;o; yet this never fails to be true, That he is mo&s;t certainly a Knave, who takes him&s;elf to be &s;o. No body is an|&s;werable for more Under&s;tanding than
<PB N="85" REF="50">
<HI>GOD</HI> Almighty had given him: And therefore, tho' I &s;hould be in the wrong, if I tell your <HI>Lord&s;hips</HI> truly and plainly what I am really convic'd of, I &s;hall be|have my &s;elf like an hone&s;t Man: For 'tis my Duty, as long as I have the Ho|nour to &s;it in this <HI>Hou&s;e,</HI> to hide nothing from your <HI>Lord&s;hips,</HI> which, I think, may concern either his <HI>Maje&s;ty</HI>'s Service, your <HI>Lord&s;hips</HI> Intere&s;t, or the Good and Quiet of the People of <HI>England.</HI></P>
<P>The Que&s;tion, in my Opinion, which now lies before your <HI>Lord&s;hips,</HI> is not what we are to do, but whether at this time we can do any thing as a Parliament; it be|ing very clear to me, that the Parliament; is Di&s;&s;olved: And if, in this Opinion, I have the Misfortune to be mi&s;taken, I have another Misfortune joyned in it, I De&s;ire to maintain the Argument with all the Judges and Lawyers in <HI>England,</HI> and leave it afterwards for your <HI>Lord&s;hips</HI> to decide, whether I am in the right or no.</P>
<P>This, my <HI>Lords,</HI> I &s;peak not out of Ar|rogance, but in my own Ju&s;tification; be|cau&s;e if I were not thoroughly convin|ced, that what I have now to urge were grounded upon the Fundamental Laws
<PB N="86" REF="51">
of <HI>England;</HI> and that the not pre&s;&s;ing it at this time might prove to be of a mo&s;t dangerous Con&s;equence, both to his <HI>Ma|je&s;ty,</HI> and the whole Nation, I &s;hould have been loth to &s;tart a Motion, which perhaps may not be very agreeable to &s;ome People: And yet, my <HI>Lords,</HI> when I con&s;ider where I am, whom I now &s;peak to, and what was &s;poken in this Place, about the time of the la&s;t Proroga|tion, I can hardly believe that what I have to &s;ay, will be di&s;ta&s;teful to your <HI>Lord&s;hips.</HI> I remember very well how your <HI>Lord&s;hips</HI> were then di&s;po&s;ed with the <HI>Hou&s;e of Commons,</HI> and remember too as well what Rea&s;ons they gave to be &s;o: It is not &s;o long &s;ince, but that I &s;uppo&s;e your <HI>Lord&s;hips</HI> may ea&s;ily call to mind, that after &s;everal odd Pa&s;&s;ages between Us, your <HI>Lord&s;hips</HI> were &s;o incen&s;ed, that a Motion was made here for an Addre&s;s to his <HI>Maje&s;ty</HI> about the Di&s;&s;olution of this Parliament; and tho' it fail'd of being car|ried in the Affirmative, by two or three Voices, yet this in the Debate was re|markable, the Cit prevail'd much with the Major part of your <HI>Lord&s;hips</HI> that were here pre&s;ent, and were only over|power'd by the Proxies of tho&s;e <HI>Lords,</HI>
<PB N="87" REF="51">
who never heard the Argument. What change there hath been &s;ince, either in their behaving, or in the &s;tate of our Af|fairs, that &s;hould make your <HI>Lord&s;hips</HI> change your Opinions, I have not heard; and therefore, if I can make it appear, (as I pre&s;ume I &s;hall) that by Law the Par|liament is di&s;&s;olv'd, I hope your <HI>Lord&s;hips</HI> ought not to be offended at me for it.</P>
<P>I have often wondred how it &s;hould come to pa&s;s, that this <HI>Hou&s;e of Commons,</HI> in which there are &s;o many hone&s;t, and &s;o many worthy Gentlemen, &s;hould be le&s;s re&s;pectful to your <HI>Lord&s;hips</HI> (as certainly they have been) than any <HI>Hou&s;e of Com|mons</HI> that ever were cho&s;en in <HI>England;</HI> and yet, if the matter be a little enquir'd into, the Rea&s;on of it will plainly appear: For, my <HI>Lords,</HI> the very Nature of the <HI>Hou&s;e of Commons</HI> is changed; they do not think now they are an A&s;&s;embly that are to return to their Hou&s;es, and become as private. Men again (as by the Laws of the Land, and the Ancient Con&s;titution of Parliament, they ought to do) but they look upon them&s;elves as a &s;tanding Senate, and as a Company of Men pick'd out to be <HI>Legi&s;lators</HI> for the re&s;t of their whole Lives; and if that be the cau&s;e, my
<PB N="88" REF="52">
<HI>Lords,</HI> they have rea&s;on to believe them|&s;elves our Equals. But, my <HI>Lords,</HI> it is a dangerous thing to try new Experiments in Government. Men do not fore&s;ee the ill Con&s;equences that mu&s;t happen, when they go about to alter tho&s;e E&s;&s;ential parts of it, upon which the whole Frame of the Government depends, as now in our Fall the Cu&s;toms and Con&s;titutions of Parliaments; for all Governments are artificial things, and every part of them has a Dependance one upon another. As in Clocks and Watches, if you &s;hould put great Wheels in the room of little ones, and little ones in the place of great ones, all the Fabrick would &s;tand &s;till: So you cannot alter any one part of the Government, without prejudicing the Motions of the whole. If this, my <HI>Lords,</HI> were well con&s;idered, People would be more cautious how they went out of the old <HI>Engli&s;h</HI> Way and Method of Proceed|ings. But it is not my bu&s;ine&s;s to find fault, and therefore, if your <HI>Lord&s;hips</HI> will give me leave, I &s;hall go on to &s;hew you, why, in my Opinion, we are at this time no Parliament.</P>
<P>The ground of this Opinion of mine, is taken from the ancient and unque|&s;tionable
<PB N="89" REF="52">
State of this Realm: And give me leave to tell your <HI>Lord&s;hips,</HI> by the way, that Statutes are not like Women, for they are not one jot the wor&s;e for be|ing Old.</P>
<P>The fir&s;t Statute that I &s;hall take no|tice of, is That in the Fourth Year of <HI>Edward</HI> the Third, <HI>Cap.</HI> 14. and it is thus &s;et down in the Printed Book, Item, <HI>It is accorded, that a Parliament &s;hall be holden every Year once, and more often, if need be.</HI> Now the&s;e Words be as plain as a Pike|&s;taff, and that no Man living that is not a Scholar, could po&s;&s;ibly mi&s;take the mean|ing of them. It is the Grammarians of tho&s;e Days did make a &s;hift to explain, that the Words, <HI>If need be,</HI> did relate as well to the Words, <HI>Every Year once,</HI> as to the Words, <HI>More often.</HI> And &s;o by this Grammatical Whim&s;ey of theirs, had made this Statute to &s;ignifie ju&s;t nothing at all. For this Rea&s;on, my <HI>Lords,</HI> in the 36th Year of the &s;ame <HI>King</HI>'s Reign, a new Act of Parliament was made, in which tho&s;e unfortunate Words, <HI>If need be,</HI> are left out, and that Act of Parlia|ment is Printed thus, relating to <HI>Magna Charta,</HI> and other Statutes, made for the
<PB N="90" REF="53">
Publick Good; Item, <HI>For maintainance of the&s;e Articles and Statutes, and the Redre&s;s of divers Mi&s;chiefs and Grievances, which daily happen, a Parliament &s;hall be holden every Year, as at other time was ordained by another.</HI> Here now, my <HI>Lords,</HI> there is not left the lea&s;t Colour or Shadow for any further Mi&s;take; for it is plainly de|clared, That the <HI>King</HI> of <HI>England</HI> mu&s;t call a Parliament once within a Year: And the Rea&s;ons why they are bound to do &s;o, are as plainly &s;et down; namely, For the Maintenance of <HI>Magna Charta,</HI> and other Statutes of the &s;ame Import|ance, and for the preventing the Mi&s;chiefs and Grievances which daily happen.</P>
<P>The Que&s;tion then remains, Whether the&s;e Statutes have been &s;ince repealed by any other Statutes, or no? The only Statutes I ever heard mention'd for that, are the two Triennial Bills, the one made in the la&s;t <HI>King</HI>'s, the other made in this <HI>King</HI>'s Reign. The Triennial Bill in the la&s;t <HI>King</HI>'s Reign, was made for the Con|firmation of the two Statutes of <HI>Edward</HI> the Third, before-mention'd: For Par|liaments having been omitted every Year, according to the&s;e Statutes, a Sta|tute
<PB N="91" REF="53">
was made in the la&s;t <HI>King</HI>'s Reign to this purpo&s;e, That if the <HI>King</HI> &s;hould fail of Calling a Parliament according to the&s;e Statutes of <HI>Edward</HI> the Third, then the third Year the People &s;hould Meet of Them&s;elves, without any Writs at all, and choo&s;e their Parliament-men of Them|&s;elves. This being thought di&s;re&s;pect|ful to the <HI>King,</HI> a Statute was made by this la&s;t Parliament, which repealed the Triennial Bill; but after the Repealing Clau&s;e, which took notice only of the Triennial Bill made in the la&s;t <HI>King</HI>'s Reign, there was then in this Statute a Paragraph to this purpo&s;e, That becau&s;e the ancient Statutes of the Realm, made in <HI>Edward</HI> the Third's Reign, Parliaments were to be holden very often, it &s;hould be Enacted, That within three Years after the Determination of that pre&s;ent Parliament, Parliaments &s;hould not be di&s;continued above three Years at mo&s;t, and &s;hould be holden oftner, if need re|quired. The&s;e have been &s;everal fal&s;e kind of Arguments drawn out of the&s;e Triennial Bills again&s;t the Statutes of <HI>Edward</HI> the Third; which, I confe&s;s I could never remember; nor, indeed, tho&s;e that urged them to me ever dur&s;t
<PB N="92" REF="54">
own; for they always laid their Faults upon Some-body el&s;e: Like ugly aufi&s;h Children, which, becau&s;e of their De|formity and want of Wit, the Parents are a&s;hamed of, and &s;o turn them out to the Pari&s;h. But, my <HI>Lords,</HI> let the Argu|ment be what it will, I will have this &s;hort An&s;wer to all that can be wre&s;ted out of the Triennial Bills, That the fir&s;t Triennial Bill was repeal'd before the matter now di&s;puted of was in que&s;tion; and the la&s;t Triennial Bill will not be of force till the Que&s;tion be decided; that is, till the Parliament be Di&s;&s;olved. The whole matter therefore, my <HI>Lords,</HI> is re|duced to this &s;hort <HI>Dilemma,</HI> Either the <HI>Kings</HI> of <HI>England</HI> are bound by the Acts mentioned of <HI>Edward</HI> the Third, or el&s;e the whole Government of <HI>England</HI> by Parliament, and by Law, is ab&s;olutely at an end: For if the <HI>Kings</HI> of <HI>England</HI> have Power, by an Order of theirs, to inva|lidate an Act made for the Maintenance of <HI>Magna Charta,</HI> they have al&s;o a Power, by an Order of theirs, to invalidate <HI>Magna Charta</HI> it &s;elf; and if they have Power, by an Order of theirs, to invalidate an Act made for the Maintenance of the Sta|tute <HI>De Talligio non concedendo,</HI> they have
<PB N="93" REF="54">
al&s;o a Power, when they plea&s;e, by an Order of theirs, to invalidate the Statute it &s;elf; and they may, not only without the Help of Parliament, rai&s;e what Mo|ney they plea&s;e, but al&s;o take away any Man's E&s;tate when they plea&s;e, and de|prive one of his Liberty and Life, if they plea&s;e. This, my Lords, is a Power, I think, that no Judge or Lawyer will pretend the <HI>Kings</HI> of <HI>England</HI> have; and yet this Power mu&s;t be allowed them, or el&s;e we that are met here this Day can|not act as a Parliament; for we are not met by vertue of the la&s;t Prorogation; then Prorogation is an Order of the <HI>King</HI>'s, and a point-blank Contrary to the two Acts of <HI>Edward</HI> the Third: For the Acts &s;ay, <HI>That a Parliament &s;hall be holden within a Year.</HI> And the Proroga|tion &s;ays, <HI>That Parliaments &s;hall not be held within a Year, but &s;ome Months after.</HI> This, I conceive, is a plain Contradiction, and con&s;equently that the Prorogation is void.</P>
<P>Now, if we cannot act as a Parliament, by vertue of the la&s;t Prorogation, I be|&s;eech your <HI>Lord&s;hips,</HI> by vertue of what el&s;e can we act? Shall we act by vertue of the <HI>King</HI>'s Proclamation? Pray, my
<PB N="94" REF="55">
<HI>Lords,</HI> how &s;o? Is a Proclamation of more force than a Prorogation? Or if any thing that has been ordered a fir&s;t time be not valued, does the ordering it a &s;econd time make it good in Law? I have heard, indeed, That two Nega|tives make an Affirmative: But I never heard before, That two Nothings ever made Any-thing. Well; but how then do we meet? Is it by our own Adjourn|ment? I hope that No-body has the Confidence to &s;ay &s;o. Which way then is it we do meet here? By an Accident: That, I think, may be granted. But an accidental Meeting can no more make a Parliament, than an Accidental Clap|ping of a Crown on a Man's Head can make a <HI>King.</HI> There is a great deal of Ceremony required to give a Matter of that Moment a Legal Sanction. The Laws have repos'd &s;o great Tru&s;t and Power in the Hands of the Parliament, that every Circum&s;tance relating to the manner of their Electing, Meeting, and Proceeding, is lookt after with the mo&s;t Circum&s;pection imaginable. For this Rea&s;on the <HI>King</HI>'s Writs about the Sum|mons of Parliament are to be i&s;&s;ued out <HI>verbatim,</HI> according to the Form Pre|&s;cribed
<PB N="95" REF="55">
by the Laws, or el&s;e the Parlia|ment is void, and nulled. For the &s;ame Rea&s;on, that a Parliament is &s;ummoned by the <HI>King</HI>'s Writs, does not meet at the very &s;ame Day it's &s;ummoned to meet at, that Parliament is void and nul|led; and by the &s;ame Rea&s;on, if a Parlia|ment be not legally Adjourned <HI>de die &amp; in diem,</HI> the&s;e Parliaments mu&s;t al&s;o be void, and nulled. O, but &s;ome &s;ay, there is nothing in the two Acts of <HI>Edward</HI> the Third, to take away the <HI>King</HI>'s Power in Prorogation, therefore Prorogation is good.</P>
<P>My <HI>Lords,</HI> under Favour, it is a very gro&s;s Mi&s;take: For pray, examine the Words of the Acts; and the Acts &s;ay, <HI>Parliaments &s;hall be holden Once a Year.</HI> Now, to whom can the&s;e Words be di|rected, but to them that are to call a Par|liament? And who are they, but the <HI>Kings</HI> of <HI>England?</HI> It is very true, this does not take away the <HI>King</HI>'s Power of Proroguing Parliaments, but it mo&s;t cer|tainly limits it to be within a Year.</P>
<P>Well then, it is &s;aid again, <HI>If the Pro|roguing be null and void, then things are just as they were before:</HI> And therefore the Par|liament is &s;till in being.</P>
<P><PB N="96" REF="56">
My <HI>Lords,</HI> I confe&s;s there would be &s;ome weight in this, but for one thing, which is, That not one word is true; for if, when the <HI>King</HI> had prorogued, we had taken no notice of his prorogation, but had gone on like a Parliament, and had adjourn'd our &s;elves the <HI>die in diem,</HI> then I confe&s;s things had been ju&s;t as they were before: but &s;ince, upon the Prorogation, we went away, and took no care our &s;elves for our Meeting again, if we can|not meet and act again by virtue of the Prorogations; here is an Impo&s;&s;ibility of our Meeting and Acting any other way; and one may as probably &s;ay, that a Man, who is killed by A&s;&s;ault, is &s;till alive, be|cau&s;e the A&s;&s;ault was unlawful.</P>
<P>The next Arguments that tho&s;e are re|duced to, who would maintain to be yet a Parliament, is, That the Parliament is prorogued <HI>&s;ine die,</HI> and therefore a <HI>King</HI> may call them by Proclamation.</P>
<P>To the fir&s;t part of the Propo&s;ition, I &s;hall not only agree with them, but al&s;o do them the Favour to prove, that it is &s;o in the Eye of the Law, which I have ne|ver heard they have yet done: For the Statutes &s;ay, <HI>A Parliament &s;hall be had once within a Year.</HI> And that Prorogation
<PB N="97" REF="56">
having put them off till a Day without the Year, and con&s;equently excepted a|gain&s;t by the Law, that Day, in the Eye of the Law, is no Day at all, that is <HI>&s;ine die,</HI> and the Prorogation might as well have put them off till &s;o many Days after Doom&s;day; and then, I think, No-body would have doubted but that had been a very &s;ufficient Di&s;&s;olution. Be&s;ides, my <HI>Lords,</HI> I &s;hall de&s;ire your <HI>Lord&s;hips</HI> to take notice, That, in former time, the u&s;ual way of Di&s;&s;olving Parliament, was to di&s;mi&s;s them <HI>&s;ine die;</HI> for the <HI>King,</HI> when he u&s;ed to di&s;&s;olve them, &s;aid no more, but de&s;ired them to go Home, till he &s;ent for them again; which is a Di&s;mi&s;&s;ion <HI>&s;ine die.</HI> Now if there were forty ways of di&s;&s;olving Parliament, if I can prove this Parliament has been di&s;&s;olved by any one of them, I &s;uppo&s;e there is no great need of the other thirty nine.</P>
<P>Another thing, which they mo&s;t in&s;i&s;t upon, is, That they have found a Prece|dent in Q. <HI>Elizabeth</HI>'s Time, when the Parliament was once prorogued three Days beyond a Year: In which I cannot chu&s;e but ob&s;erve, That it is a very great Confirmation of the Value and E&s;teem all People have had of the forementioned
<PB N="98" REF="57">
Acts of <HI>Edward</HI> the Third; &s;ince, from that time to this, there can be but one Precedent found for the Prorogation of a Parliament above a Year, and that was but three Days neither. Be&s;ides, my <HI>Lords,</HI> this Precedent is of a very odd kind of Nature; for it was in the Time of a very great Plague, when every one of a &s;udden was forc'd to run away one from another; and &s;o, being in ha&s;t, had not lei&s;ure to calculate well the time of the Prorogation; tho' the appointing of it to be within three Days after a Year, is an Argument, to me, that their De&s;ign was to keep within the Bounds of the Acts of Parliament; and if the Mi&s;take had been taken notice of in Q. <HI>Elizabeth</HI>'s Time, I make no que&s;tion but She would have given a lawful Remedy to it.</P>
<P>Now, I be&s;eech your <HI>Lord&s;hips,</HI> what more can be drawn from the producing this Precedent, but only becau&s;e once up|on a time a thing was done Illegally, therefore your <HI>Lord&s;hips</HI> &s;hould do &s;o a|gain: Now, my <HI>Lords,</HI> under Favour, this of ours is a very different Ca&s;e from theirs; for as to this Precedent, the Que|&s;tion was never made; and all <HI>Lawyers</HI> will tell you, That Precedent that pa&s;&s;es
<PB N="99" REF="57">
<HI>&s;ub Silentio,</HI> is of no Validity at all, and will never be admitted in any Judicial Court where it is pleaded: Nay, Judge <HI>Vaughan</HI> &s;aith in his Reports, <Q>That in Ca&s;es which depend upon Fundamental Principles, from which Demon&s;trations may be drawn, Millions of Precedents are to no purpo&s;e.</Q> O but, &s;ay they, you mu&s;t think prudentially of the In|convenience that will follow it; for if this be allowed, all the&s;e Acts which are made in that Se&s;&s;ion of Parliament, will be then void; whether that be &s;o or no, I &s;hall not now examine.</P>
<P>But this I will pretend to &s;ay, That no Man ought to pa&s;s for a Prudential Per|&s;on, who only takes notice of the Incon|veniences on one &s;ide; it is the part of a wi&s;e Man to examine the Inconve|niences on both, to weigh which are the greate&s;t, and to be &s;ure to avoid them; and, my <HI>Lords,</HI> to this kind of due Exa|mination, I willingly &s;ubmit this Cau&s;e; for, I pre&s;ume, it will be ea&s;ie to your <HI>Lord&s;hips</HI> to judge which of the&s;e two will be of mo&s;t dangerous Con&s;equence to the Nation, either to allow that the Statutes made, in that particular Se&s;&s;i|ons, in Queen <HI>Elizabeth</HI>'s Time, are void,
<PB N="100" REF="58">
which may ea&s;ily be confirm'd at any time by a lawful Parliament; as, to lay down for a Maxim, That the <HI>Kings</HI> of <HI>England,</HI> by a Titular Order of Theirs, have Power to break all the Laws of <HI>Eng|land</HI> when they plea&s;e: And, my <HI>Lords,</HI> with all the Duty we owe to His <HI>Maje&s;ty,</HI> it is no di&s;re&s;pect to Him, to &s;ay, That His <HI>Maje&s;ty</HI> is bound by the Laws of <HI>Eng|land;</HI> for the Great <HI>King</HI> of <HI>Heaven</HI> and <HI>Earth, GOD Almighty</HI> Him&s;elf, is bound by His own Decrees; and what is an Act of Parliament, but a Decree of the <HI>King,</HI> made in the mo&s;t &s;olemn manner? It is po&s;&s;ible for Him to make it, that is, with the Con&s;ent of the <HI>Lords</HI> and <HI>Commons.</HI></P>
<P>It is plain then, in my Opinion, that we are no more a Parliament; and I humbly conceive your <HI>Lord&s;hips</HI> ought to give <HI>GOD</HI> thanks for it, &s;ince it has plea&s;ed Him thus, by his Providence, to take you out of a Condition wherein you mu&s;t have been intirely u&s;ele&s;s to his <HI>Ma|je&s;ty,</HI> to your &s;elves, and the whole Nation.</P>
<P>For, I be&s;eech your <HI>Lord&s;hips,</HI> if no|thing of this I have urged were true, what honourable Excu&s;e could be found for acting again with this <HI>Hou&s;e of Com|mons,</HI> except we would pretend to &s;uch
<PB N="101" REF="58">
an exqui&s;ite Act of Forgetfulne&s;s, as to avoid calling to mind all that pa&s;&s;ed la&s;t Se&s;&s;ions; and unle&s;s we could al&s;o have a Faculty of teaching the &s;ame Art to the whole Nation! What Opinion would they have of us, if it &s;hould happen, that the very &s;ame Men that were &s;o earne&s;t, the la&s;t Se&s;&s;ions, for having this <HI>Hou&s;e of Commons</HI> di&s;&s;olv'd, (when there was no que&s;tion of their lawful Sitting) &s;hould now be willing to joyn with them again, when, without que&s;tion, they are di&s;|&s;olved?</P>
<P>Nothing can be more dangerous to a <HI>King</HI> or People, than the Laws &s;hould be made by an A&s;&s;embly, of which there can be doubt whether they have a Power to make Laws or no; and it would be in us &s;o much the more inexcu&s;able, if we &s;hould overlook this Danger, &s;ince there is for it &s;o ea&s;ie a Remedy; a Remedy which the Law requires, and which all the Nation longs for, the Calling a New Parliament.</P>
<P>It is that can only put his <HI>Maje&s;ty</HI> into a po&s;&s;ibility of receiving Supplies; that can &s;ecure your <HI>Lord&s;hips</HI> the Honour of Sitting in this <HI>Hou&s;e of Peers,</HI> and of being Serviceable to the <HI>King</HI> and Country, and
<PB N="102" REF="59">
that can re&s;tore, to all the People of <HI>Eng|land,</HI> their undoubted Rights of choo&s;ing Men frequently to repre&s;ent their Grie|vances in Parliament; without this, all we can do is in vain; the Nation might langui&s;h a while, but mu&s;t peri&s;h at la&s;t; we &s;hould become a Burthen to Our &s;elves, and a Prey to our Neighbours.</P>
<P>My Motion to your <HI>Lord&s;hips,</HI> there|fore, &s;hall be, That we humbly addre&s;s Our &s;elves to His <HI>Maje&s;ty,</HI> and beg of Him, for His own Sake, as well as for all the People's &s;ake, to give us &s;peedily a New Parliament, that &s;o we may una|nimou&s;ly, before it is too late, u&s;e Our utmo&s;t Endeavours for His <HI>Maje&s;ty</HI>'s Ser|vice, and for the Safety, Welfare and Glory of the <HI>Engli&s;h</HI> Nation.</P>
</DIV2>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="103" REF="59">
<HEAD>THE Emperor of Morocco's LETTER, TO <HI>CHARLES the Second.</HI></HEAD>
<P>WHEN the&s;e Our Letters &s;hall be &s;o happy as to come to Your <HI>Ma|je&s;ty</HI>'s Sight, I wi&s;h the Spirit of the <HI>Righ|teous God</HI> may &s;o direct Your Mind, that You may joyfully embrace the Me&s;&s;age I &s;end. The Regal Power allotted to Us, makes Us fir&s;t <HI>Common Servants</HI> to Our Creator, then of tho&s;e People whom we Govern: So that, ob&s;erving the Du|ties we owe to <HI>God,</HI> we deliver Ble&s;&s;ings to the World. In providing for the Pub|lick Good of Our E&s;tates, we magnifie the Honour of <HI>God,</HI> like the <HI>Cele&s;tial Bo|dies,</HI> which, tho' they have much Vene|ration,
<PB N="104" REF="60">
yet &s;erve only to the Benefit of the World. It is the Excellency of Our <HI>Office</HI> to be In&s;truments, whereby Happi|ne&s;s is delivered to Nations.</P>
<P>Pardon Me, Sir! this is not to <HI>In&s;truct,</HI> (for I know I &s;peak to One of a more clear and quick <HI>Sight</HI> than My &s;elf;) but I &s;peak this, becau&s;e <HI>God</HI> hath plea&s;ed to grant me a happy <HI>Victory</HI> over &s;ome part of tho&s;e <HI>Rebellious Pyrates,</HI> that &s;o long have mole&s;ted the peaceable Trade of <HI>Eu|rope;</HI> and hath pre&s;ented further Occa|&s;ion to root out the Generation of tho&s;e, who have been &s;o pernicious to the Good of our Nations: I mean, &s;ince it hath plea&s;ed <HI>God</HI> to be &s;o au&s;picious to our Be|ginnings, in the Conque&s;t of <HI>Sallee,</HI> that we might joyn and proceed in hope of like Succe&s;s in the Wars of <HI>Tunis, Algiers</HI> and other Places <HI>(Dens</HI> and <HI>Receptacles</HI> of the Inhumane Villanies of tho&s;e who abhor Rule and Government.) Herein, whil&s;t we interrupt the Corruption of malignant Spirits of the World, we &s;hall glorifie the <HI>Great GOD,</HI> and perform a Duty, that will &s;hine as glorious as the <HI>Sun</HI> and <HI>Moon,</HI> which all the Earth may &s;ee and reverence: A <HI>Work</HI> that &s;hall
<PB N="105" REF="60">
a&s;cend as &s;weet as the Perfume of the mo&s;t precious Odour in the <HI>No&s;trils of the LORD;</HI> a <HI>Work</HI> grateful and happy to Men; a <HI>Work,</HI> who&s;e Memory &s;hall be reverenced &s;o long as there &s;hall be any remaining among&s;t Men, that love and honour the Piety and Vertue of Noble Minds. This Action I here willingly pre&s;ent to You, who&s;e Piety and Vertues equal the Greatne&s;s of Your Power; that We, who are <HI>Vice-gerents</HI> to the <HI>Great</HI> and <HI>Mighty GOD,</HI> may hand-in-hand Triumph in the Glory which the Action pre&s;ents unto Us.</P>
<P>Now, becau&s;e the I&s;lands which You Govern, have been ever Famous for the Unconquered Strength of their Shipping, I have &s;ent this my Tru&s;ty <HI>Servant</HI> and <HI>Amba&s;&s;adour,</HI> to know, whether, in Your Princely Wi&s;dom, You &s;hall think fit to A&s;&s;i&s;t me with &s;uch Forces by Sea, as &s;hall be an&s;werable to tho&s;e I provide by Land? Which if You plea&s;e to grant, I doubt not but the <HI>LORD of Ho&s;ts</HI> will protect and a&s;&s;i&s;t tho&s;e that fight in &s;o Glorious a Cau&s;e. Nor ought You to think this &s;trange, that I, who &s;o much Reverence the Peace and Accord of Na|tions,
<PB N="106" REF="61">
&s;hould Exhort to a War: Your Great Prophet <HI>Christ Je&s;us,</HI> was the <HI>Lion of the Tribe of Judah,</HI> as well as the <HI>Lord and Giver of Peace;</HI> which may &s;ig|nifie unto You, That He which is a Lover and Maintainer of Peace, mu&s;t always appear with the Terror of his Sword; and wading thro' <HI>Seas of Blood,</HI> mu&s;t ar|rive to <HI>Tranquillity.</HI> This made <HI>James,</HI> Your Grand-father, of Glorious Memory, &s;o happily Renown'd among&s;t all Na|tions. It was the Noble Fame of Your <HI>Princely Vertues</HI> which re&s;ounds to the ut|mo&s;t <HI>Corners of the Earth,</HI> that per&s;uaded me to invite You to partake of that Ble&s;s|ing wherein I boa&s;t My &s;elf mo&s;t happy. I wi&s;h <HI>GOD</HI> may heap the Riches of his Ble&s;&s;ings on You, encrea&s;e Your Happi|ne&s;s with Your Days; and hereafter per|petuate the Greatne&s;s of Your <HI>Name</HI> in all Ages.</P>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="107" REF="61">
<HEAD><HI>To Mr.</HI> Bulstrode, <HI>at</HI> White-hall.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>SIR,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>THE <HI>Turks</HI> breaking their Truce, and be&s;ieging <HI>Vienna,</HI> is very de|plorable, but might rea&s;onably enough have been fore&s;een, and is there|fore the more &s;trange the Emperor &s;hould be &s;o unprovided. From the Princes of the Empire, &s;urely no great Matters are to be expected, for they have their va|rious Intere&s;t, and &s;uch Confederate Ar|mies &s;eldom do great things: and, &s;hould they call in the <HI>French</HI> to their A&s;&s;i&s;tance, the end of that may ea&s;ily be di&s;cerned; for, in all kind of Probability, it mu&s;t make that <HI>King</HI> the Univer&s;al Emperor, and perhaps they may then bring a|mong&s;t them&s;elves as dangerous an Ene|my as him, they now fear: The old Say|ing is a Truth, <HI>Every-body for him&s;elf, and God for us all;</HI> and therefore, I con|fe&s;s, I think it better for the&s;e Parts of the World, the <HI>Turks</HI> &s;hould have that part of <HI>Germany</HI> than the <HI>French;</HI> for that
<PB N="108" REF="62">
Almighty Neighbour, (&s;hould he acquire the Empire) will be a perpetual Plague to the Northern Countries, and in time to the warmer Climates too; for&punc; he has already made one Step into <HI>Italy,</HI> by <HI>Ca|&s;al,</HI> and more than two Strides into <HI>Spain</HI> by his other Conque&s;ts, tho' he had &s;o|lemnly prote&s;ted, at the Holy Altar, Re|ligiou&s;ly to ob&s;erve the Peace of the <HI>Py|renaeans;</HI> but, we &s;ee, the&s;e Prote&s;tations are no Tye upon this <HI>Most Chri&s;tian King;</HI> for when ever (that he calls) the Advancement of his own Glory, comes in Competition with his Ju&s;tice to His Neighbour, the Latter is &s;ure to be the Sufferer. I doubt you will think me very impertinent, in medling in State Affairs, but I rely upon your Goodne&s;s to forgive me, &s;ince you know, I am</P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>Your most humble Servant,
M. Peachey.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="109" REF="62">
<HEAD><HI>To</HI>&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Dear Sir <HI>Politick,</HI></SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>TO prepare my &s;elf for writing to you, I wi&s;h I could conjure up the Spirit of <HI>Nick Machiavel;</HI> for how can I be able to make good my Promi&s;e to you, who are the Great <HI>Anima Mundi Politici?</HI> I have naturally a &s;trange unhappy Ho|ne&s;ty, which makes me not the be&s;t qua|lified for Politicks. I &s;uppo&s;e you have heard over and over, of the Action in <HI>Hun|gary,</HI> where we have been as honourably Beaten, as a Man could well de&s;ire. The Bu&s;ine&s;s of our Coin, which, under the new Di&s;pen&s;ation, has been more then <HI>Mo&s;aically</HI> Circumci&s;ed, begins now to make a very hand&s;ome Appearance, there being great &s;tore of new Money. To tell you my poor Opinion, the Nation has &s;uffer'd the Fate of a Man that has got the <HI>Pox,</HI> who yet very wi&s;ely rejects all the <HI>Quacks,</HI> and relies upon the known approv'd Method of Fluxing: She throws off all the un&s;ound Part, the bad Money, and in its room gets up a fre&s;h Stock of Vigour. You very well know how Mat|ters
<PB N="110" REF="63">
have gone with the <HI>Bank:</HI> Their Abatements are not &s;o great as they have been, and it is hoped it will be again in a flouri&s;hing Condition. You and I have private Rea&s;ons to wi&s;h well, be&s;ides this publick one, That the <HI>Bank</HI> is one of the Pul&s;es of our Government, and, as it beats high or low, a Man may make his Infe|rences: And thus much for State Affairs; for really, Sir, I have but a mean Opinion of that &s;ort of Study. Politicks in <HI>Italy,</HI> may be refin'd Under&s;tanding; in <HI>France,</HI> a genteeler &s;ort of Villany; in <HI>Holland,</HI> Intere&s;t coar&s;e &s;pun; but in <HI>England,</HI> are certainly <HI>Flatus Hypocondriaci.</HI> If this be not an effectual Plea for my Carele&s;ne&s;s, you ought to con&s;ider, I am out of the Road of <HI>Government,</HI> and of an Age when Men generally mind other things: People under Seven and Twenty, tho' they live about Town, either are for none, or el&s;e for a lower Species of Politicks; &s;uch as which, in the pre&s;ent War of Plea&s;ure, &s;hall get the better, <HI>King Thomas,</HI> or the Confederacy of Players.</P>
<CLOSER><SALUTE>Sir, </SALUTE> <SIGNED>I am, <HI>&amp;c.</HI></SIGNED>
<DATELINE><DATE>Octob. <HI>the First, 1696.</HI></DATE></DATELINE></CLOSER>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="111" REF="63">
<HEAD><HI>To Mr.</HI> Savage.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>SIR,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>IE&s;teem, tho' I cou'd not merit your Salute; and, while I return you mine in exchange, I acknowledge you a Lo&s;er by the friendly Venture you have made; yet, let not one Lo&s;s deter you from a farther Corre&s;pondence: The Amorous, or rather Wanton Widow, bears her Lo&s;s like a <HI>Chri&s;tian;</HI> her Grief proceeds more from your Ab&s;ence than his Death. I have the Secret, but am not beholding either to him that is dead, or her that is living for it. I am &s;orry to hear you made no greater Progre&s;s in that Affair; but do not wonder the Spirit moves not your Fancy &s;o little, &s;ince you make all your Court&s;hip to the Ladies; tho&s;e more &s;ub|&s;tantial Mi&s;tre&s;&s;es, the <HI>Mu&s;es,</HI> are but thin airy <HI>Phantoms,</HI> and I know you have more of the Real, than the <HI>Platonick</HI> Lover, in you. When you come to my Years, per|haps, you'll be more inclin'd to court the latter; yet, I mu&s;t confe&s;s, when we come to be Fumblers in <HI>Love,</HI> we are but Bun|glers
<PB N="112" REF="64">
in <HI>Poetry:</HI> The <HI>Mu&s;es,</HI> as well as the Ladies, are for the brisk, young and gay: I know not how well (the Ladies you mention) were pleas'd with hearing my Plays read; if they were delighted, I'll a&s;&s;ure you, 'twas more with the <HI>Reader</HI> than the <HI>Writer.</HI> Children have oft been ki&s;s'd for their hand&s;ome Nur&s;es &s;akes; 'twas you they liked, and not the Plays; the Plea&s;ure was in your Company, and not in their <HI>Wit</HI> and <HI>Merit.</HI> You plea&s;e to &s;ay the Ladies often wi&s;h'd my Com|pany; that indeed wou'd have given 'em Diver&s;ion, for then they'd have laugh'd at me too; or if they did heartily wi&s;h it, I &s;uppo&s;e you did not tell 'em I was an Author of Fifty; which now you may, and &s;o pre&s;erve all their kind Thoughts for your &s;elf: But had they their Wi&s;h, I &s;hould ne'er have had mine; they wou'd wi&s;h me gone from 'em, and I &s;hou'd wi&s;h to &s;tay with 'em; I &s;hou'd admire them, and they would admire at the folly of Wi&s;hing. The Sighs the Fair One &s;ent in the Paper, are not come to hand; but if I know by what Me&s;&s;enger you &s;ent the Letter, I wou'd go and en|quire what is become of 'em; the <HI>fragrancy</HI> of their Breath is wanting too, but that
<PB N="113" REF="64">
may be blown away by the Wind, &s;ince the Paper pa&s;s'd the Region of Thirty Five Miles at lea&s;t, for &s;o I take it from <HI>Mayfield</HI> to <HI>London;</HI> or at lea&s;t, the Wind turning, drove back their Sighs and Breath to you agen&mdash;. Every thing favours the youthful <HI>Lover;</HI> but give my humble Service to the fair Ladies; for as Youth is pleas'd with real Favours, Age is not di&s;|pleas'd with being hand&s;omly flatter'd. As a farther Token of your Friend&s;hip, Sir, pray, ki&s;s the&s;e Ladies Hands for me; your Ki&s;&s;es will be felt, tho' the&s;e I &s;end be invi&s;ible&mdash;. I have ki&s;s'd it twenty times: Pray, make ju&s;t payment, for I think I am indebted &s;o many to 'em at lea&s;t. Sir, I hope this la&s;t Commi&s;&s;ion will make amends for the Errors of this Epi&s;tle.</P>
<CLOSER><SALUTE>Sir, </SALUTE> <SIGNED>Your most oblig'd and humble Servant,
E. Ravenscroft.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="114" REF="65">
<HEAD>From a Gentleman in the Coun|try, to a Lady in the City.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>I Was as apprehen&s;ive of the tediou&s;|ne&s;s of my Journey, as the Effects of my Arrival, for the Per&s;ecution of my Thoughts; each &s;tep, I trod, &s;eem'd like a Journey from the Land of the Living: I am certain, if Any-body had &s;poke to me, they could not look upon me in my Wits, and perhaps you'll &s;ay &s;o too, for de|generating into &s;o unmanly a Condition. At the &s;ame time, <HI>Madam,</HI> I'll be judg'd by your Con&s;cience, I won't &s;ay your &s;elf, (for Womens Mode&s;ty, like fal&s;e Gla&s;&s;es, di&s;commend 'em only for Flat|tery) whether or no I am not a <HI>Martyr</HI> to a true Cau&s;e or not. I may well &s;ay I've made a Sacrifice of my Heart to you; for ever &s;ince I &s;aw you, <HI>Victims</HI> on their Al|tars ne'r burnt with greater Heat and Ar|dor. I'm as &s;olitary as the place I re&s;ide in: Methinks I cou'd wi&s;h we might conver&s;e in Thoughts, or that our Souls might meet &s;ometimes in Sighs; but
<PB N="115" REF="65">
Thoughts and Sighs are Airy Sub&s;tan|ces, and barren Food for Womens Souls; &s;uch fond <HI>Platonicks</HI> as my &s;elf may lan|gui&s;h under them in a Burrough, where <HI>Innocence, Ru&s;ticity,</HI> and <HI>Ignorance</HI> agree, but here I wa&s;te my time and wi&s;hes in vain: My Writing to you, is like my keeping of you Company, in this, that the Hearing from you, and cea&s;ing to write to you, &s;eems equally perplexing, and at the &s;ame time equally unavoidable; for the <HI>Idea</HI> I have of you, has &s;o transfix'd my Mind, that even my Breath and Sighs can &s;carce forbear to &s;peak the Wi&s;hing-flame of,</P>
<CLOSER><SALUTE>Madam, </SALUTE> <SIGNED>Your most afflicted Sufferer,
DAMON.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="letters">
<PB N="116" REF="66">
<HEAD>Three LOVE-LETTERS.</HEAD>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<HEAD><HI>To Madam</HI>&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>My Charming TYRANT,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>THo' you forbid me to repeat Suns, Rocks, Mountains, Earth-quakes, which are as e&s;&s;ential to a Letter of this kind, as Gilt-paper; yet you forgot to ex|cept again&s;t Sighs, Prayers, Vows, Tears, and the many other little Reliefs the Un|happy fly to; however, I'll now conceal the Trouble of my own Brea&s;t, rather than di&s;turb your Patience: I have found, by experience, that neither De&s;pair, nor any other Perturbation of Mind, can kill me, &s;ince I have born a Fortnight's Ab&s;ence from you, and am yet alive: 'Tis true, Life is more &s;upportable this Morning, than Ye&s;terday: For, if <HI>Hamlet</HI> had not been murther'd at the Play-hou&s;e la&s;t Night, I had been wor&s;e than dead to Day. Tell me, Dear <HI>Madam,</HI> how long mu&s;t I live on the Plenty of my la&s;t
<PB N="117" REF="66">
Night's Fea&s;t? Mu&s;t I quickly again be happy, or linger out a tedious Life, under your Di&s;plea&s;ure? Let me know my Sentence in one Line; &s;peak Truth, and &s;ay, You hate me, becau&s;e I love you. 'Tis a Plea&s;ure to be out of Pain, and when One's going to be Executed, the greate&s;t Cruelty is the greate&s;t Mercy. Once more let me beg a &s;hort Letter from you, tho' it be to chide me, for troubling you with &s;o long a one as this: I &s;wear, to hear only you were well, I'd give my Eyes; nor wou'd the lo&s;s be con&s;ide|rable, becau&s;e they are of no manner of u&s;e to me in your ab&s;ence, unle&s;s to read tho&s;e Letters, which, I hope, Heaven will di&s;po&s;e you to write to,</P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>YOURS.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="118" REF="67">
<HEAD><HI>To Madam</HI>&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>HOpe is like the Heart; and as it is the fir&s;t thing that lives, &s;o 'tis the fir&s;t thing that dies in us, otherwi&s;e I cou'd de&s;pair of &s;eeing you any more; but methinks 'tis impo&s;&s;ible for one to have the Beauty and Brightne&s;s of Hea|ven in her Eyes, without gentle Com|pa&s;&s;ion in her Heart: Reflect upon your Angel's Frame; Con&s;ider, <HI>Madam,</HI> how that Tongue, that was fa&s;hion'd by Na|ture, to pronounce nothing but Ble&s;&s;ings to your Adorers, will be mi&s;-imployed, when you Cur&s;e &s;o much, as to forbid me &s;eeing you. I'm not &s;o vain as to expect any Return to my Pa&s;&s;ion; only &s;uffer it, and I am happy; call it by no le&s;s fami|liar Name, than <HI>Love.</HI> Let it be Ado|ration, and even that the <HI>Gods</HI> will allow of: They refu&s;e not our Sacrifices, nor are they angry at our <HI>Anthems:</HI> and if they with-hold their Ble&s;&s;ings, they plead <HI>Prede&s;tination</HI> for their Excu&s;e. Cruel, as
<PB N="119" REF="67">
you are, I mu&s;t thank the Weather, or I'd met you no more; your Journey was fixt for this Morning, but Ye&s;terday's Rain did more than a Flood of Tears, from the Eyes of,</P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>YOURS.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="120" REF="68">
<HEAD><HI>To Madam</HI>&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Dear MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>NEver cou'd the Author of <HI>Don Quixot</HI> more hand&s;omly ridicule the Mad and Airy Gallantries of Roman|tick <HI>Heroes,</HI> than you did in your la&s;t, your mo&s;t unfortunate humble Servant. Your Letter has had &s;o good effect upon me, that I have not executed my Re&s;o|lution; tho' this <HI>Scribble</HI> will &s;eem to &s;ig|nifie, that the Lead has entred my Skull already: Truly, Madam, I have &s;o much occa&s;ion for Brains, e&s;pecially when I write to a Lady of your Apprehen&s;ion, that I can as little part with any, as a Member of&mdash;wou'd do with his Pri|viledges; but, it is po&s;&s;ible, <HI>Madam,</HI> that a Pi&s;tol can do more to your Admirer than the Conclu&s;ion of your Letter. You tell me there, I mu&s;t not hope to &s;ee you more; you may from thence imagine, that no other Attempt can be equally fa|tal to a Man of <HI>Errantry.</HI> I have only the Satisfaction left, to know that I can|not be more Mi&s;erable, for he that's
<PB N="121" REF="68">
drown'd, needs no more fear Rain, than the withered Flowers does the hot Sun|&s;hine. Now, Madam, to free you from the pain of Reading any more, (which, I &s;uppo&s;e, you'll take care to do your &s;elf, by not calling for them) I'll only ask leave to tell you, That <HI>Cruelty</HI> becomes the <HI>Nymphs,</HI> as little as an Effeminacy does the <HI>Swains,</HI> nor can I &s;tudy any Re|venge half &s;o terrible to you, as your act|ing again&s;t your &s;elf, which is, in de&s;ign|ing to Marry. I hope, before you leap down the Precipice, you'll once more take leave of,</P>
<CLOSER><SALUTE>Madam, </SALUTE> <SIGNED>Your humble Servant,</SIGNED>
<POSTSCRIPT>
<P>I dare not tell you how things go, le&s;t you &s;hould laugh at me; but if you will lo&s;e your time at the Play, in <HI>Lincolns-Inn-fields,</HI> on <HI>Tue&s;day,</HI> I'll be the Subject of your Diver&s;ion.</P>
</POSTSCRIPT></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="122" REF="69">
<HEAD>A LETTER by Mr. <HI>M.</HI></HEAD>
<HEAD><HI>To Mr.</HI> G&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Dear <HI>G&mdash;,</HI></SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>THE dull Bu&s;ine&s;s of the Day is over, and our <HI>Cu&s;hion-cuffer</HI> has given me lei&s;ure for a better Employment, than hearing him cant over his mu&s;ty <HI>Morals;</HI> 'tis not the lea&s;t Grie|vance, in the Country, to do Penance once a Week, and &s;it with pa&s;&s;ive Ears, two live-long Hours, and put &s;uch a <HI>Violence</HI> on One's Nature: Heav'n be prais'd, in this lukewarm Age, nothing is &s;o ea&s;ily coun|terfeited as <HI>Devotion,</HI> otherwi&s;e poor <HI>Cul|prit</HI> would have a hard part to play. 'T was the Opinion of a &s;age <HI>Monk,</HI> that the Torment of <HI>Hell</HI> was nothing but an eternal Crowding and Elbowing; but I think it an everla&s;ting Solitude; for, I a&s;&s;ure you, I think that the Country is but a State of <HI>Probation</HI> for <HI>Hell,</HI> and an Earne&s;t of <HI>Damnation:</HI> I was reviv'd,
<PB N="123" REF="69">
with your Letter, from a &s;tupid &s;ort of a <HI>Lethargy;</HI> for any thing, that comes from <HI>London,</HI> in my forlorn Circum&s;tances, mu&s;t needs be a Cordial, like poor <HI>Dives</HI> in <HI>Hell,</HI> viewing the great <HI>Gulph</HI> between, and begging &s;ome Small-beer of the <HI>Beg|gar</HI> in <HI>Abraham</HI>'s Bo&s;om; even &s;o your de&s;olate Friend, begs the Favour of a Letter to comfort him in the mid&s;t of his Afflictions, who am,</P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>Your Friend and Servant,
M&mdash;</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="letters">
<PB N="124" REF="70">
<HEAD>LETTERS, Written by a PERSON of HONOUR.</HEAD>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<HEAD>To&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><DATELINE><HI>From on Board&mdash;at St.</HI> Hellens, <DATE>May 27th, 1694.</DATE></DATELINE></OPENER>
<P>HEre we are &s;till, Sir, at your Service; Bragging, and Lying, and Hector|ing, and Bouncing of what we are going to do; but the Proof of the <HI>Pudding</HI> be|ing in the Eating, a Month hence you may expect a truer Account of our Con|duct and Courage, than I'll pretend to give you now: However, this is cer|tain, we have Mi&s;chief in our Hearts. 'Tis po&s;itive, we are going to do or undo &s;omething; here are &s;trong <HI>Simptoms</HI> of War: I have not heard, &s;ince I came on
<PB N="125" REF="70">
Board, one Sentence (except when the <HI>Chaplain</HI> &s;ays <HI>Grace)</HI> without <HI>Blood, Plun|der, Fire,</HI> or <HI>Rape</HI> in't. Ye&s;terday I could not bear it, nor my Lord <HI>C&mdash;</HI> nei|ther: &s;o we &s;lunk into a little Boat, and made a De&s;cent on the <HI>I&s;le of Wight,</HI> where I was pre&s;ently &s;eiz'd, and had like to have dy'd of a Di&s;ea&s;e, call'd, <HI>Ra|pture:</HI> Such <HI>Hills;</HI> &s;uch <HI>Vallies;</HI> &s;uch <HI>Woods;</HI> &s;uch <HI>Plains;</HI> &s;uch <HI>Faces;</HI> &s;uch <HI>A&mdash;s.</HI> Look you, Sir, I'll &s;ay no more, but one Expedition under <HI>V&mdash;s,</HI> is worth two under <HI>M&mdash;s;</HI> and &s;o I'll tell you what I did three Nights &s;ince: Hearing there was a <HI>Cargo</HI> of <HI>French Prote&s;tants</HI> newly debark'd, about four Leagues off, a certain Lord and your humble Servant, having a mind to in|form our Selves of the State of the Ene|my, went a-&s;hore, and enquir'd 'em out: We found in a <HI>Cow-hou&s;e,</HI> full of <HI>Straw,</HI> &s;ixteen Women, nine Children, eight <HI>Lap-dogs,</HI> and a <HI>Tup-cat,</HI> all at Supper to|gether.</P>
<P>We ask't 'em what part of <HI>France</HI> they came from: They all an&s;wer'd at once, and every one nam'd a different Place.</P>
<P><PB N="126" REF="71">
We ask't 'em what rate Bread was at: They all an&s;wer'd together again, and every one nam'd a different Price.</P>
<P>With that, he &s;ingled out one, and I another: We pre&s;t 'em about half an hour, with a clo&s;er Examination, and, comparing of Notes, we found, That the <HI>Spirit</HI> is &s;ometimes as weak as the <HI>Fle&s;h;</HI> and that Women, as well as <HI>Prie&s;ts,</HI> of all Religions, are the &s;ame.</P>
<CLOSER><SALUTE>Adieu.</SALUTE></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="127" REF="71">
<HEAD>To Mrs.&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>&mdash;,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P><HI>BEtter late than never,</HI> is an old Pro|verb, <HI>Madam;</HI> and, I hope, a true one; at lea&s;t I rely &s;o much upon it, that I venture to write to you after &s;ix Months Neglect. Not that I think you care much for my Letters neither; don't mi&s;take. But perhaps you may be apt to &s;ay, <HI>People need not be &s;o &s;paring of 'em, un|le&s;s they were of greater Value;</HI> and perhaps you'd &s;ay right: but that does not hinder People from being as lazy as ever; nor from continuing to be &s;o impudent to ex|pect Pardon, without being able to urge one tolerable Excu&s;e: <HI>For what's bred in the Bone,</HI> you know, <HI>will never out at the Fle&s;h.</HI> So there's another Proverb for you: Half a dozen more would &s;tand me in great &s;tead to make out my Letter: For I know my Lady&mdash;gives you an Account of all material Things, Intrigues and new Petticoats. As for <HI>Politicks,</HI> you'd clap them under Minc'd-pies, and well if they far'd no wor&s;e. In &s;hort, I know nothing but <HI>Religion</HI> you care a
<PB N="128" REF="72">
Farthing for; and that the Town's &s;o bare of at pre&s;ent, I cou'd as &s;oon &s;end you Money. No-body prays but the Court; and, perhaps, they had as good let it alone; at lea&s;t No-body &s;ees, by the Effects, what they pray for; 'tis thought, a general Exci&s;e. But Heaven, who knows our Wants better, &s;eems to be of Opinion a General Peace will do as well. They &s;ay, The Bully of <HI>France</HI> is leaving all in the Lurch; for which he has both the Ble&s;&s;ings and Cur&s;es of many a poor Dog about this Town. For as to matters of Wealth and plenty, you mu&s;t know the Impartiality of our Men of Bu&s;ine&s;s has been &s;uch, they have brought <HI>Williamite</HI> and <HI>Jacobite</HI> to much about the &s;ame Pitch. But now we are all going to flouri&s;h again: &s;o, I hope, we &s;hall &s;ee your Ladi&s;hip in Town again&s;t the Peace is proclaim'd, that upon the <HI>Bonfire-night</HI> your Billet may burn too.</P>
<P>I can tell you one thing: You ought to appear in your own Defence; for the fir&s;t time I &s;hew'd my &s;elf, &s;ince I came to Town, upon that Theatre of Truth and Good Nature, the <HI>Chocolate-hou&s;e,</HI> I was immediately regal'd with the old Story, (tho' from another Hand) <HI>That
<PB N="129" REF="72">
now you were gone for certain.</HI> But, that worthy Knight-Errant, Mr. <HI>W&mdash;,</HI> that Mirrour of <HI>Chivalry,</HI> for all wrong'd La|dies, drew his Tongue in your Defence; and I, <HI>Madam,</HI> had the Honour to be his <HI>Sancho Pancho</HI> in your Ju&s;tification. But how long we &s;hall be able to &s;tand our Ground, I can't tell, unle&s;s you'll come and lug out too, and then I don't doubt but we &s;hall make our Party good. Now you mu&s;t know, <HI>Madam, One good turn de|&s;erves another,</HI> (there's a Proverb again) I &s;tand as much in need of your Weapon, as you can do of mine. Here's a &s;coundrel Play come out lately, by which the Au|thor has been pleas'd to bring all the Reverend Ladies of the Town upon his Back, with my Lady&mdash;at the Head of 'em, for &s;aying, <HI>An old Bawd was good for nothing.</HI> But that is not all his Misfor|tune; there's a younger Knot, who having grimac'd them&s;elves into the Faction of Piety, &s;ay, <HI>'Tis a wicked Play,</HI> and a <HI>Bla&s;phe|mous Play,</HI> and a <HI>Bea&s;tly, Filthy, Bawdy Play;</HI> and &s;o never go to it, but in a Mask. Dear Mrs. <HI>S&mdash;</HI>come to Town again quickly, and don't put your Country-tricks upon us any longer, for here's a World of Mi&s;|chief in your Ab&s;ence: The <HI>V&mdash;</HI> is
<PB N="130" REF="73">
Leaner than ever. I am grown Reli|gious. My Lord <HI>W</HI>&mdash;is going to be Married. Sir <HI>John Fenwick</HI> is going to be Hanged. The <HI>W. L</HI>&mdash;is Boarded by a Sea-Officer: The Lady <HI>Sh</HI>&mdash;is Storm'd by a Land one. <HI>Yel</HI>&mdash;has got a high In|trigue; and the <HI>P</HI>&mdash;has got the Gripes. For <HI>God</HI>'s &s;ake come to Town quickly: You &s;ee all's in Di&s;order; nor are things much better in the Country, as I hear: For, 'tis &s;aid, the Spirit of Wedlock haunts Folks in <HI>Shrop&s;hire,</HI> and has play'd the De|vil with the Fle&s;h. Some-body &s;wore by&mdash;t'other Day, you were Married; to whom, I have forgot, tho' that was &s;worn too. But, pray, let's &s;ee you here again; and don't tell us a Scripture-&s;tory, That you have married a Husband, and can't come; the Excu&s;e, you &s;ee, was not thought good, even in tho&s;e Days, when things wou'd pa&s;s on Folks that won't now.</P>
<CLOSER><SALUTE>My due Re&s;pects to the Mayor and Corporation of <HI>S</HI>&mdash;</SALUTE></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="131" REF="73">
<HEAD><HI>To the Lord</HI> H&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><DATELINE><HI>Paris,</HI> <DATE><HI>Octob.</HI> 21. 1681.</DATE></DATELINE></OPENER>
<P>NOw things mend, my <HI>Lord;</HI> and an <HI>Italian</HI> Abbot makes a good Pimp: His only Fault is, he's damn'd hard of Hearing; a Shout in an|other Man's Ear, is but a Whi&s;per in his: A vile Quality for a Bawd. However, he's a Per&s;on of Bu&s;ine&s;s, and one of his <HI>Belles Dames</HI> is a better <HI>Sophi&s;ter</HI> than you are; for you pretend but to argue <HI>Fornication</HI> no Sin, whil&s;t &s;he proves it a Vertue; and (all L&mdash;apart) wou'd&mdash;for the down-right &s;ake of Re|ligion. Her Ca&s;e is this: She's a Si&s;ter of the String, tickles a <HI>Guitar</HI> to a Mi|racle, and that &s;he gets her Living by, Her Beauty, her Mode&s;ty, her Wit, and her Youth, would help her to a better Livelihood, if her Con&s;cience would give her leave to lay about her like the re&s;t of her Sex; but her Inclinations being Upwards, and having a &s;ower Contempt of this vile Earth, &s;he de&s;ires to give her
<PB N="132" REF="74">
&s;elf to her good <HI>God,</HI> and &s;aunter out her Days in a <HI>Nunnery:</HI> But &s;he wants Five Hundred Pi&s;toles to introduce her; and that &s;he's willing to&mdash;for. She computes about a Twelve-month's Run may &s;atisfie any Rea&s;onable Gentleman, and that he'll then give her leave to quit that &s;ame filthy Bu&s;ine&s;s, for a Swing of Spiritual L&mdash;</P>
<P>So, if your Lord&s;hip knows ever a Knight-Errant, who&s;e Pur&s;e is as lavi&s;h as his&mdash;and will both&mdash;for the Relief of Di&s;tre&s;&s;ed Vertue; pray, tell him this pitiful Story, which is a Truth, by J&mdash;</P>
<P>The <HI>French</HI> &s;ay, You'll be altogether by the Ears about &s;ix Weeks hence; and that they are to go over, and take Po&s;|&s;e&s;&s;ion of &s;ome Hou&s;es and Parks, that belong to <HI>Des Bougres d'Anglois, qui vont a leur ordinaire &s;e &s;oulever contre leur Prince Naturel.</HI> God &s;end this Inva&s;ion, I &s;ay, 'twill at lea&s;t have one good Ef|fect, 'twill Legitimate <HI>Adultery</HI> here, which I have been &s;eeking Arguments for in vain; for if they enter our Hou&s;es, <HI>Lex Talionis,</HI> we whip into their Wives.
<PB N="133" REF="74">
Rapes will be lawful too, by the &s;ame Morality. So, pray my Lord, come over; for here's like to be Work for a better&mdash;than mine.</P>
<P>My Lord <HI>S</HI>&mdash;has got a nau&s;eous Mi&s;tre&s;s here; a cry'd-up Beauty, a &s;lat|ternly Sow, founder'd of both her Feet: In &s;hort, I hate her; and &s;o I do Every|bodies, but my own; and her I like &s;o well, I believe I &s;hall have my Bones broke about her, before I have done; there being &s;ome impertinent People a|kin to her, who won't let her&mdash;in quiet.</P>
<P>My Lord, the Soup's upon the Table, you'll excu&s;e me: for there are four tall <HI>Germans</HI> about it, who will &s;wallow it down &s;calding hot, in le&s;s time than an <HI>Engli&s;h-</HI>man can &s;ay Grace. May Hea|ven pre&s;erve you &s;till fifty Years more, and kill your Father betwixt this and <HI>Chri&s;tmas.</HI></P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>Je &s;uis tout &agrave; Vous.</SIGNED>
<POSTSCRIPT>
<PB N="134" REF="75">
<P>Two Days &s;ince my Lord <HI>S&mdash;</HI>be|ing in appearance at the Door of Death, he repented, as is u&s;ual: but there is now hopes of a Return to his Health, and Relap&s;e to his Vices.</P>
</POSTSCRIPT></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="135" REF="75">
<HEAD><HI>To Mr.</HI> T&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Rakehelly <HI>T&mdash;,</HI></SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>JU&s;t now, &s;troling thro' my Pocket-Book, I &s;tumbl'd upon your Name: Mrs. <HI>P&mdash;</HI>'s Name, <HI>Charing-cro&s;s,</HI> and the Sign of the <HI>Elephant,</HI> which gave Re|membrance &s;uch a Bang, I have made a Collection of Pen, Ink and Paper, with a de&s;ign to be as good as my Word, and write to you. So the Que&s;tion how I &s;hall write, and the Que&s;tion whether I &s;hall write or not, are indeed become no Que&s;tions at all; but the Que&s;tion what I &s;hall write, is a great Que&s;tion &s;till. The Hou&s;e of Office may perhaps help me. You'll excu&s;e me for a Mo|ment.</P>
<P>I am return'd, and by Providence's help, have done your Bu&s;ine&s;s as well as my own. I have found &s;ix leaves of a <HI>Dutch</HI> Sermon; the Title-page I have made u&s;e of, the re&s;t I &s;end you enclos'd. I don't under&s;tand much of the Lan|guage, but I think it gives you an Ac|count
<PB N="136" REF="76">
how many Tun of Saints the <HI>Pa|gans</HI> &s;hipp'd off for the Spiritual <HI>Indies,</HI> when the <HI>Chri&s;tians</HI> liv'd in <HI>Holland:</HI> He &s;ays the Manufacture now is quite de&s;troy'd, and the Trade is not worth a T&mdash;Now you mu&s;t know, Par&s;ons in this Country tell Truth in their Ser|mons; &s;o, as to a lover of Truth and Ser|mons both, I &s;end you this. The Po&s;tage won't co&s;t you above half a Piece; a Dog Penny-worth, I think.</P>
<P>All I have to &s;ay, is, That this is a &s;coundrel Town. The <HI>Dutch</HI> Women here are grea&s;ie and fat, the <HI>Engli&s;h</HI> &s;aw|cy and ugly. Here's a great deal of Snow, and very bad Fires; cur&s;ed Meat, and wor&s;e Company: That for our Diver|&s;ions. As for Bu&s;ine&s;s: My Lord <HI>W&mdash;</HI> is a&s;leep by the Fire-&s;ide; Mr. <HI>Ru&s;&mdash;</HI>is picking his No&s;e; the P&mdash;&s;s is Quilt|ing a Petticoat; her Maids are all at their Prayers; <HI>Ju</HI>&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;is Expounding the <HI>Revelations; B&mdash;t</HI> is writing of Libels; the Pr&mdash;is &s;tudying, I gue&s;s what; and the <HI>Engli&s;h</HI> Emba&s;&s;ador is a Fool: Zoons, Sir, I have got the Cramp; O G&mdash;! how many damn'd Tricks has Nature to plague Mankind&mdash;I can't
<PB N="137" REF="76">
write a word more. You'll &s;end me an An&s;wer to this, won't you? Do, prithee do; and don't be long about it now.</P>
<P>If you direct your Letter to me at <HI>Youfrow Zouterkin</HI>'s, in <HI>Cut-&s;traet,</HI> 'tis &s;ix to four but my Hand and my A&mdash;will have it in their turns.</P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="138" REF="77">
<HEAD><HI>To the Chevalier</HI> De Choi&s;eul, <HI>at</HI> La Hogue.</HEAD>
<OPENER><DATELINE><HI>De l'Enfer, ce</HI> <DATE>18. <HI>Avril,</HI> 1692.</DATE></DATELINE>
<SALUTE>Mon Cher Chevalier,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>SIvo&s;tre Voyage a e&s;te au&s;&s;i agreable que vo&s;tre bonne Compagnie l'e|toit aux pauvres Pri&s;onniers &agrave; la Ba|&s;tille, je m'en rejouiray for: Car, &s;ans Compliment, je m'intere&s;&s;e beaucoup &agrave; tout ce qui vous regarde. Et quoy que (la Charite commencant chez &s;oy) je me plaigne de vo&s;tre ab&s;ence, j'ay a&s;&s;ez de bon Naturel, pour me rejouir de vo&s;tre Liberte.</P>
<P>Pour moy; je &s;uis, comme j'ay long tems e&s;te, (en apparence) &s;ur la veille de &s;ortir: Cependant, la Porte n'e&s;t pas en|core ouverte.</P>
<P>Le pauvre my Lord a prit les devants; &amp; il e&s;t pre&s;entement &agrave; Boulogne, ou il attend l'arrivee du General Hamilton. Ain&s;i voila la Ba&s;tille plus tri&s;te que ja|mais.
<PB N="139" REF="77">
Le Marquis pourtant continue a nous divertir, &amp; &agrave; nous incommoder: Le voicy, Mort Die, qui entre avec toute &s;a &s;uitte. Que le Diable les emporte tous en&s;emble. Ils font tant de bruit, qu'il e&s;t impo&s;&s;ible d'ecrire davantage. Ain&s;i A|dieu, ju&s;qu'&agrave; tanto&s;t&mdash;</P>
<P>Il y a deux heures que j'ay e&s;te oblige de quitter ma Lettre, &amp; depuis ce temps la, j'ay e&s;te entretenu, comme quoy, c'e&s;t une cho&s;e qui choque l'honneur de la France, qu'un Fils d'un Duc &amp; Pair, de la Noble Race de Cru&s;ole, de&s;cendu des anciens Comtes de Tholou&s;e, &s;oit detenu Pri&s;onnier &agrave; la Ba&s;tille, pendant que la Nation a be&s;oin de &s;es plus grands Capi|taines, pour repou&s;&s;er une foule d'Enne|mis qui l'attaquent. Mais, Mon&s;ieur, (luy repondi-je) les cho&s;es ne &s;ont pas encore &agrave; l'extremite; la France n'e&s;t pas encore perdue. Quand le Roy la verra en danger, ce &s;era alors qu'il &s;e &s;ervira de &s;es dernieres re&s;ources; &amp; &s;e &s;era alors qu'il vous &s;ortira glorieu&s;ement de la Ba|&s;tille, pour vous placer &agrave; la te&s;te de &s;es Ar|mees. Si vous e&s;tiez deja dehors, il &s;cait que vous vous expo&s;eriez trop, vo&s;tre va|leur luy e&s;t connue; c'e&s;t pour l'amour
<PB N="140" REF="78">
de vous, &amp; de luy me&s;me, qu'il veut vous con&s;erver; c'e&s;t pour vous con&s;erver qu'il vous a donn&egrave; en charge &agrave; Mon&s;ieur de Be&s;meaux.</P>
<P>F&mdash;tre de Be&s;meaux, (dit-il) F&mdash;tre de la Ba&s;tille, F&mdash;tre de Sodome, &amp; F&mdash;tre de Gommore; je &s;uis Fils d'un Duc &amp; Pair, moy.</P>
<P>Mon&s;ieur (luy dis-je) vo&s;tre Illu&s;tre Nai&s;&s;ance e&s;t desja connue &agrave; tout le mon|de; un peu de Patience feroit au&s;&s;i eclat|ter vo&s;tre Vertu.</P>
<LG>
<L>Je me F&mdash;de la Vertu&mdash;</L>
<L>Mais, Mon&s;ieur, un peu de Modera|tion&mdash;</L>
<L>Point: Je veux fortir, moy&mdash;Je veux me &s;ignaler&mdash;</L>
<L>Mais ecoutez, Marquis. Si vous &s;ortiez, &amp; que Mon&s;ieur de Be&s;meaux&mdash;</L>
</LG>
<P>F&mdash;tre de Be&s;meaux, je vous dis&mdash;Je me mocque de luy, qu'il lai&s;&s;e les Gens en repos, s'il le veut; ou je luy. F&mdash;tray vingt coups de Pied dans le Ventre, &amp; autant de coups de Poing &s;ur le Nez; &amp; flinque &amp; flanque, &amp; l'Abere, &amp; Gara|net,
<PB N="141" REF="78">
&amp; encore cent milles F&mdash;tus Ga&s;|coignes, Mort Die, je les feray tous trem|bler.</P>
<P>Mon&s;ieur le Marquis, (luy dis-je) je &s;uis vo&s;tre tres humble Serviteur; mais comme je n'ay point de Cuira&s;&s;e, je ne veux plus demeurer &s;eul avec vous. O (dit-il) vous ne ri&s;quez rien.</P>
<P>Pardonnez moy (repartis-je) on ri&s;que beaucoup, quand le Sang des Cru&s;oles e&s;t bouillant. Adieu.</P>
<P>Je de&s;cendis donc, &amp; il evacua ma Chambre: &amp; &agrave; mon Retour, pour ache|ver ma Lettre, j'ay bien barricade ma Porte.</P>
<P>Comme tout le monde icy, pretend que vous allez droit en Angleterre, pour Retablir le Roy Jacques, bon gre, mal gre. Et que je con&s;idere, que dans les Ex|peditions de Mars, Venus ne manque ja|mais de &s;e mettre de la Partie: Je vous prie d'avoir &s;oin, que &s;i mes Soeurs doi|vent e&s;tre bai&s;ees, du moins elles pui&s;&s;ent avoir la Con&s;olation d'e&s;tre bien bai&s;ees Il y en a &agrave; choi&s;ir; mais la troi&s;ieme, en
<PB N="142" REF="79">
etant la plus Belle, je vous la recom|mande pour vo&s;tre propre Bouche. Si vous la trouvez Vierge (car je ne repons de rien) allez doucement, ne faites point trop de fracas; de peur de faire pleurer la pauvre Fille. Mais quand vous aurez pris le Fort, je vous &s;upplie de n'y pas lai&s;&s;er Garni&s;on.</P>
<P>Pour nos Egli&s;es: Remettez-y tout ce qu'il vous plaira, hors le Pouvoir De&s;po|tique du Pre&s;tre; car je ne de&s;ire pas d'aller au Ciel la Fourche au Cul.</P>
<P>Dans la Police, faites moy la grace de pendre tous les Procureurs: mais traitez avec becaucoup the Re&s;pect un certain Avocat, qui s'appelle <HI>Habeas Corpus.</HI> C'e&s;t un veritable honne&s;te Homme: mal gre &s;a Robe longue, vous pouvez vous &s;ouve|nir que nous avons quelque fois beu &agrave; &s;a Sante. En verite il le merite bien: c'e&s;t un Amy &agrave; tout le monde, &amp; qui en me&s;me temps ne flatte per&s;onne: il e&s;t vray qu'il va &s;ouvent &agrave; la Court, mais il n'e&s;t pas du tout Courtizan. Il faut que vous &s;ca|chiez qu'il a des manieres qui ne s'ac|commodent pas tout &agrave; fait avec &s;es Me&s;|&s;ieurs la: ils luy donnent de bonnes oa|roles,
<PB N="143" REF="79">
mais ils ne l'aiment pas trop. Que cela ne vous empeche pas de luy faire la Reverence: To&s;t ou tard, vous en pou|rez avoir be&s;oin. Je vous prie de luy faire bien mes Compliments, &amp; de luy a&s;&s;eurer que je me &s;ouviens fort &s;ouvent de luy.</P>
<P>Au re&s;te: Crevez moy toutes les Vieilles, qui refu&s;ent d'e&s;tre Maquerelles; car il ne&s;t pas pour le bien publicq, que des cho&s;es inutiles, mangea&s;&s;ent le Pain de l'Etat.</P>
<P>Etoufez tous les petits Chiens de Vil|lage, &amp; les Enfans qui crient; car tout ce qui fait du bruit me de&s;ole.</P>
<P>Enfin, &s;i vous rencontrez (ce que je no crois pas) un Fils d'un Duc &amp; Pair, pareil au Marquis, envoyez le a la Tour, pour le repos de &s;a Famille.</P>
<P>Et voila, mon cher Compatriot de malheur, toutes les Commi&s;&s;ions que j'ay a vous donner. Si je vous voy a Pa|ris, d'icy en &s;ix Mois, vous me rendre<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="UOM" EXTENT="1 letter"> Compte comment vous les aurez execu|tez. Si c'e&s;t bien, je vous en loueray
<PB N="144" REF="80">
fort: &s;i c'e&s;t mal, je vous pardonneray vo|lontiers. Car je &s;uis (&s;ans Compliment) tout a fait de vos Amis, &amp; fort vo&s;tre Serviteur.</P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="145" REF="80">
<HEAD><HI>To Mr.</HI>&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>HARRY,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>I'M afraid thou'rt turn'd a meer <HI>A|damite,</HI> that is, ha&s;t forfeited thy Health and Happine&s;s to purcha&s;e more Knowledge, or el&s;e thou art plagui|ly bely'd. Oh! that Plea&s;ure, <HI>Harry,</HI> is a Helli&s;h Plea&s;ure. How &s;weet in the Enjoyment, and how &s;ower in the Event! Well, I &s;uppo&s;e thou'rt throughly con|vinc'd, there's no &s;uch thing as Heaven upon Earth, as a great many vain Fellows imagine; &s;ince our Plea&s;ures are not only bounded in one particular thing; but the greate&s;t Variety of Enjoyments fini&s;h in the unea&s;ie De&s;ire of their Continuance, or the more torturing Experience of its Impo&s;&s;ibility; or at lea&s;t, their Puni&s;h|ment by a prodigious Fluxing. The mo&s;t permanent of all our Habits, is that part of 'em which are vicious; or that which we are taught to believe &s;o. A good Thought is as ea&s;ily &s;poil'd in Devo|tion, as 'tis in Study. The ob&s;cene&s;t B&mdash;
<PB N="146" REF="81">
in one Moment will ruine the &s;tronge&s;t Efforts of a pious Preparation. Oh! this Nature of ours, tho' it be the mo&s;t pre|vailing <HI>Rhetorick,</HI> is yet a Compound of Extreams: the Minute that gives Birth to the mo&s;t endear'd of our Entertainments, gives &s;uch an A&s;&s;urance of their Conclu|&s;ion, that palls them in the po&s;&s;e&s;&s;ion: Our Entertainment is very often uneafie to us, from the Care we take to be Re|gular; and we are &s;eldom guilty of &s;o great <HI>Soleci&s;m,</HI> as when we endeavour to avoid all for <HI>Silence,</HI> which is a pecu|liar Remedy again&s;t 'em, is at the &s;ame time the greate&s;t <HI>Soleci&s;m</HI> in Conver&s;a|tion. Why, this Moment I was thinking to treat you as one of my Familiars; and in my very De&s;ign of being &s;o, my Defi|ciency has carried me to a quite oppo&s;ite Matter, and I am unawares an unskilful Morali&s;t, or an unbiting <HI>Satyr.</HI> I hope you will pardon my Impertinence, and accept this &s;mall Epi&s;tle from him, who is your affectionate</P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>Humble Servant.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="147" REF="81">
<HEAD><HI>To Mrs.</HI>&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>I Cou'd no more hope to &s;ee you (con|&s;idering the time of your Letter's coming to my Hands) than I could have any Peace without it. Not all the Objects in the World could divert my Melan|choly, but your Letter, which had done it effectually, but that it gave me the &s;en|&s;ible Mortification of de&s;pairing to find you. Lord, Madam, how in&s;en&s;ible of Pa&s;&s;ion are you, to &s;ee and reject &s;uch Evidence of my Love? I am &s;orry you give me &s;o great a &s;hew of your Levity, and &s;o much Apprehen&s;ion of my ill For|tune. If my Condition be not an&s;wera|ble to your Beauty, this I can tell, my Pa&s;&s;ion is the mo&s;t exalted in Nature. I wi&s;h Nature would afford me &s;ome &s;ig|nal Method to convince you of it, that I might at lea&s;t hope a reciprocal one from you. In my own Brain, I feel both all the Pain and Love, which <HI>Poets</HI> feign <HI>Romantick Heroes</HI> to have done;
<PB N="148" REF="82">
and am &s;carce le&s;s mad to let you know, how much I wou'd be thought to be your Humble Servant.</P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>DAMON.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="149" REF="82">
<HEAD>To Sir <HI>John</HI> In Imitation of a Letter in the <HI>Hi&s;toires Facetieu&s;es,</HI> p. 78.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Dear KNIGHT,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>THis comes to inform you, that I am in the Land of the Living; and that's all. But as for the Plea&s;ures of this Tran&s;itory World, (which the <HI>Hy|pocrites</HI> that u&s;e them, and the <HI>Rakehells</HI> that are pa&s;t them, call <HI>Vanities)</HI> I am no more the better for them, than a <HI>Lap|lander</HI> is for the Sun of <HI>Italy;</HI> or, to come nearer Home, than <HI>Grocer's-Hall</HI> is for the Wealth of the Bank at <HI>Am&s;terdam.</HI> A Cur&s;e on that unlucky Night, when you and I got &s;o drunk at the <HI>Blue-po&s;ts</HI> to|gether: for do but ob&s;erve what were the Effects on't. Drunkenne&s;s, Sir <HI>John,</HI> drew Fornication after it; and the&s;e two Sins in wicked Conjunction begot a mo&s;t undutiful Child, the Lord knows, between 'em, who before he was a Fort|night old, depos'd both his Father and
<PB N="150" REF="83">
Mother. Thus being di&s;abled from Whoring, and out of re&s;pect to my own Carca&s;s not daring to drink, I am grown as grave, and as contemplative, and as virtuous a Per&s;on, as you cou'd de&s;ire to &s;tick your Knife in. Like the re&s;t of the World too, when they turn <HI>Saints,</HI> I find the Devil and all of <HI>Ill Nature</HI> has come upon me with my <HI>Virtue.</HI> I am as <HI>&s;plena|tick</HI> and <HI>peevi&s;h</HI> as a poor Dog of an <HI>Au|thor</HI> that has been bilked in a <HI>Dedication.</HI> Neither Man, Woman, nor Child can e&s;cape my <HI>Cen&s;ures.</HI> I roar again&s;t Sin, louder than a Fellow that is paid to do it in <HI>Publick,</HI> tho' at the &s;ame time wi&s;hes it no mi&s;chief in his Heart. I rail at Every-body, whether I know them or no; and in &s;ome of my moody Fits don't care a Farthing if half the Men in the Kingdom were hang'd, and all the Wo|men &s;ent pick-a-pack to Old <HI>Cloven|foot.</HI></P>
<P>Once more, a Cur&s;e on that unlucky Night, when this Di&s;a&s;ter befel me. Dear Sir <HI>John,</HI> for Heavens &s;ake, help me to pelt it with &s;ome <HI>Vigorous,</HI> &s;ome <HI>Emphatical,</HI> &s;ome <HI>Gigantick</HI> Cur&s;es: May it hereafter know no Mirth nor Plea&s;ure,
<PB N="151" REF="83">
not even that of <HI>Lamb-blacking</HI> Signs, and rubbing out of <HI>Milk-&s;cores;</HI> no Balls, nor Serenades; no Jollity of Drunkards, nor Enjoyment of Lovers. May it hear of nothing but Execrations of Lo&s;ing Game&s;ters, Fires, Burglaries, and &s;laugh|tered Watchmen. <HI>Magi&s;trates</HI> of the Night &s;urrendring up their pious Souls in <HI>Kennels,</HI> and the <HI>Withered Bullies</HI> that did it, dying and bla&s;pheming by their &s;ide. <HI>Murders</HI> hideous enough to fright an <HI>Italian,</HI> and unnatural <HI>Rapes,</HI> that would make even a <HI>Pamper'd Cardinal</HI> tremble. But a Pox on't, I don't cur&s;e worth a &s;traw. One <HI>Scotch</HI> Pedlar hearti|ly warm'd wou'd out-do half a dozen &s;uch puny Fellows as I am. Therefore, dear Sir <HI>John,</HI> come to my A&s;&s;i&s;tance, and help me out at a Pinch. Cur&s;e that unlucky <HI>Night,</HI> or cur&s;e the <HI>Wine,</HI> or cur&s;e the <HI>Ma&s;ter;</HI> 'tis all one in the <HI>Ori|ginal Hebrew,</HI> &s;o you do but cur&s;e. But e&s;pecially pour a double Vial of your wrathful Spirit upon the Di&s;courteous Damo&s;el that brought me to this. May Providence everla&s;tingly to&s;s her from the <HI>Chirurgeon</HI>'s Hands to the <HI>Bayliff's,</HI> and &s;o back again <HI>in Soecula Soeculorum:</HI> Or may her Ill Fate force her in her Old
<PB N="152" REF="84">
Age to <HI>Scotland,</HI> where may the <HI>Kirk</HI> condemn her to be roa&s;ted alive for a <HI>Sorcere&s;s;</HI> and may &s;he be as long a burn|ing, as the Univer&s;e will be at the <HI>Con|flagration.</HI></P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>T. Brown.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="153" REF="84">
<HEAD>TO Mrs.&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Dear MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>NEver any Mortal laboured under &s;uch a Perplexity of Fortune, or Variety of Confu&s;ions: I &s;hould cer|tainly put a Period to this Being of mine, but that I am &s;till willing to &s;ubmit to you the Triumph: As you have had it &s;o indi&s;putably over my Heart, even &s;o take it over my Life, &s;ince it offends you, and affords me no Comfort. How can you imagine, that one bereft of his Soul, can &s;urvive its Ab&s;ence? No more can you the Po&s;&s;ibility of mine, and at the &s;ame time be convinc'd of the Reality of my Pa&s;&s;ion. The&s;e Twelve Months at lea&s;t have I been endeavouring to ca&s;t off my Chains, and to quit a Cau&s;e which I cou'd no more hope to triumph in, than I had to be happy without it: but find as impo&s;&s;ible as to abandon my Breath, and retain my Vital Motion. I conjure you, <HI>Madam,</HI> by all the Ties of Nature, pity me, and the mi&s;chievous Circum&s;tances of my ill Fortune, that has plac'd me in a
<PB N="154" REF="85">
Sphere, which can no more entitle me to your e&s;teem, than encourage my Pre|&s;umption. But pardon me, <HI>Madam,</HI> if I wi&s;h <HI>Fortune</HI> had been le&s;s benevolent to you, that I might have given you a more ample Evidence of my Pa&s;&s;ion, and my &s;elf a greater Pro&s;pect of Succe&s;s; and believe a&s;&s;uredly, 'twou'd be the greate&s;t Inhumanity in the World in cea&s;ing to kill, or cea&s;ing to make me the happie&s;t of your Humble Servants.</P>
<CLOSER><SALUTE>Adieu.</SALUTE></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="155" REF="85">
<HEAD><HI>To a Gentleman in</HI> Cambridge.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Hone&s;t SAM!</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>SInce you are &s;o &s;tout, I'll be &s;o too, and pick your Pocket of two Pence; a thing, I hope, excu&s;able in a Friend. But perhaps you'll &s;ay, Some People have a plaguy deal of Impudence, to call them|&s;elves &s;o, &s;ince you give 'em no encou|ragement by your Letters; but, at the &s;ame time, that does not &s;uppre&s;s this Im|pudence: For <HI>what's bred in the Bone, will never out of the Fle&s;h;</HI> and &s;o there's a Proverb for you. Why, I'll promi&s;e thee, <HI>Sam,</HI> I wi&s;h thoud'&s;t pick my Pocket af|ter &s;uch a friendly manner. But, I &s;ee, ab&s;ent Acquaintance are as little thought of, as pa&s;t Iniquities; and the Devil of Forgetfulne&s;s reigns as much in <HI>Cam|bridge&s;hire,</HI> as that of Poverty does in <HI>London.</HI> However, I heartily wi&s;h thee void of both; for the&s;e Devils are bloody things to be di&s;po&s;&s;e&s;s'd, when they have once got a footing: As an In&s;tance of which, there's a good hone&s;t Fellow has &s;ent his Wife to the other World under
<PB N="156" REF="86">
the &s;ame Predicament. Your Brother and I are con&s;ulting now to make you Pennile&s;s; for we're plaguily afraid, that you eat &s;o much of the <HI>Divine Banquet,</HI> that you can afford none of your ab&s;ent Friends &s;o much as a Refre&s;hment: And &s;o, Hone&s;t <HI>Sam,</HI> good Night to thee.</P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="157" REF="86">
<HEAD>To <HI>T&mdash;W&mdash;,</HI> E&s;q.</HEAD>
<OPENER><DATELINE><DATE><HI>May</HI> the 19th, 93.</DATE></DATELINE>
<SALUTE>SIR,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<LG>
<L>TIs &s;trange, that what e're Noddle akes,</L>
<L>Some Friend or other &s;till partakes;</L>
<L>Whoever wrote, have always &s;ought</L>
<L>Some one for <HI>Go&s;&s;ip</HI> to their Thought.</L>
<L>I, after hunting long in vain,</L>
<L>To vent th' Incumbrance of my Brain,</L>
<L>(Like &s;purious. Race of humble Whore)</L>
<L>Re&s;olve to lay it at your Dore.</L>
<L>And just as other <HI>Writers</HI> u&s;e,</L>
<L>Shall plead <HI>Pre&s;cription</HI> for Excu&s;e:</L>
<L>For <HI>Cu&s;tom</HI> that does &s;till di&s;pen&s;e</L>
<L>With Univer&s;al <HI>Influence,</HI></L>
<L>And makes things right or wrong appear,</L>
<L>Just as they do her Liv'ry wear;</L>
<L>Can ju&s;tifie <HI>Impertinence,</HI></L>
<L>And &s;tamp it into <HI>Sterling</HI> Sence.</L>
<L>I therefore care not what I write,</L>
<L>For tho' I Scribble, You Endite;</L>
<L>I treat you at Your own Expence,</L>
<L>And furni&s;h words, but You the Sence.</L>
<L><PB N="158" REF="87">
And therefore fear not to mi&s;carry,</L>
<L>Since I am but Your <HI>Secretary:</HI></L>
<L>For as our Eyes but pa&s;&s;ive are,</L>
<L>(As learned <HI>Philo&s;ophers</HI> aver)</L>
<L>And only convey to the Mind,</L>
<L><HI>Idea's,</HI> which first there we find;</L>
<L>Yet are Them&s;elves but Helps to &s;ee,</L>
<L>As other <HI>Optick-Gla&s;&s;es</HI> be,</L>
<L>So in the&s;e <HI>Lines,</HI> what ever's meant,</L>
<L>I only am Your <HI>In&s;trument;</HI></L>
<L>And nothing have at my command,</L>
<L>But the meer Motion of my Hand:</L>
<L>For all the Sence, You must expect,</L>
<L>Springs from Your proper <HI>Intellect.</HI></L>
<L>The learned' st Book that e're was wrot,</L>
<L>To him that under&s;tands it not,</L>
<L>No other pro&s;pect e're affords,</L>
<L>Then a meer <HI>Anarchy</HI> of Words:</L>
<L>For Books (like all things el&s;e) are good</L>
<L>Or bad, but as they're under&s;tood;</L>
<L>And when Men quote 'em, they mi&s;take,</L>
<L>They did not find it &s;o, but make:</L>
<L>So what&s;oe're from them we &s;matter,</L>
<L>Is but the Sen&s;e of <HI>Commentator:</HI></L>
<L>For Words indeed, altho' &s;own thick,</L>
<L>Like <HI>Cyphers</HI> in <HI>Arithmetick,</HI></L>
<L>When all cast up, to nothing come,</L>
<L>The <HI>Figure</HI> only make the Sum:</L>
<L><PB N="159" REF="87">
So Readers must to Books &s;upply,</L>
<L>What feeble Characters deny.</L>
<L>And hence it is that all things &s;ound,</L>
<L>Just as their Fancies do expound;</L>
<L>And if they take 'em in a wrong &s;ence,</L>
<L>All Authors have been &s;erv'd &s;o long &s;ince.</L>
<L>Did they not make old <HI>Homer</HI> prate</L>
<L>Of Boots and Shooes, and <HI>God</HI> knows what?</L>
<L>Made him hold-forth on <HI>Philo&s;ophy,</HI></L>
<L>And Vertues of <HI>Sage, Tea</HI> and <HI>Coffee;</HI></L>
<L>And Je&s;ts too up and down to &s;catter,</L>
<L>Where he thought nothing of the matter?</L>
<L>Made they not <HI>Virgil</HI> &s;trange things write,</L>
<L>And prophe&s;ie by After-light;</L>
<L>Fore-tell the Means of our Salvation,</L>
<L>And all this by their In&s;piration?</L>
<L>Make they not him Mens Fortunes tell,</L>
<L>Of which he ne're thought Syllable;</L>
<L>Pronounce the Fate of Men in Battle,</L>
<L>And of Invaders of &s;trange Cattle;</L>
<L>Detect by Whole-&s;ale in his Ver&s;e,</L>
<L>Thieves, Pick-pockets and Conjurers;</L>
<L>And &s;urer tell who drives that Game on,</L>
<L>Than <HI>P&mdash;dge, G&mdash;ry,</HI> or <HI>S&mdash;on?</HI></L>
<L>Mean time, perhaps, there's but one Leaf,</L>
<L>Betwixt the Ju&s;tice and the Thief:</L>
<L>His Wor&s;hip wou'd a little later,</L>
<L>Have found it quite another matter,</L>
<L><PB N="160" REF="88">
And had been, to his &s;ole jeopardy,</L>
<L>Su&s;pended for meer being tardy;</L>
<L>Or acted at the Rump of Cart,</L>
<L>With <HI>Spartan</HI> Patience his part.</L>
<L>Make they not <HI>Horace</HI> a &s;tark A&s;s,</L>
<L>Reduc'd to <HI>Du&mdash;&mdash;</HI>Ballad Cla&s;s,</L>
<L>Strip him of all that's gay and witty,</L>
<L>To fit him up to doleful Ditty?</L>
<L>Tagg'd forth with mi&s;erable Rhimes,</L>
<L>From Bulks, and in the Streets he chimes.</L>
<L>With <HI>Ro&s;amond</HI> now <HI>Lydia</HI> vies,</L>
<L>And fills the <HI>Milk-maids</HI> maudlin Eyes;</L>
<L>While <HI>Hopkins</HI> is forgot and <HI>Sternhold,</HI></L>
<L>So often chanted forth in Barn old.</L>
<L>Was not Sage <HI>Terence</HI> at adventure,</L>
<L>By Oily <HI>Shadwell</HI> turn'd to banter?</L>
<L>And taught, for duller Sence of's own,</L>
<L>The brisk gay Non&s;en&s;e of the Town?</L>
<L>And his in&s;ipid Tale improv'd,</L>
<L>By what the Town and <HI>Sh&mdash;ll</HI> lov'd?</L>
<L><HI>Sh&mdash;ll,</HI> who&s;e whole Stock is, a Bully,</L>
<L>A Wench, a U&s;urer, a Cully.</L>
<L>From whence, with little pains, &s;traightway,</L>
<L>Or Wit, he oft does launch a Play:</L>
<L>As Cits, with Blue, &s;ecure from &s;taining,</L>
<L>A Heroe fit on Days of Training.</L>
<L>I need not tell of late Projectors,</L>
<L>That Stories tell of <HI>Witches Spectres;</HI></L>
<L><PB N="161" REF="88">
Hold forth, with learned <HI>Theory,</HI></L>
<L>On the <HI>Probo&s;cis</HI> of a <HI>Flea;</HI></L>
<L>Pur&s;ue with <HI>Micro&s;cope,</HI> the Tract</L>
<L>Of List upon a <HI>Grey-lou&s;e</HI> Back;</L>
<L>Philo&s;ophize upon <HI>Salt-waters,</HI></L>
<L>And other much &s;urprizing Matters.</L>
<L>Tho&s;e <HI>Pedlars</HI> in all &s;orts of Wares,</L>
<L>That Haberda&s;h in <HI>Love-Affairs,</HI></L>
<L>Mechanicks, Metre, Politicks,</L>
<L>And forty other modi&s;h Tricks,</L>
<L>As Tumbling, Jugling, Vaulting, Dancing,</L>
<L>Intriguing, Ridling, and Romancing,</L>
<L>That do with Pamphlets <HI>Epidemick,</HI></L>
<L>Laden with <HI>Billing&s;gate Polemicks,</HI></L>
<L>Confound the <HI>Jacobites,</HI> and <HI>Quakers,</HI></L>
<L>With their Adherents, and Partakers,</L>
<L>To th' ruine of their Grace, and quite</L>
<L>Extingui&s;hing their inward <HI>Light;</HI></L>
<L>That fill Men for a Di&s;h of <HI>Coffee,</HI></L>
<L>With <HI>Politicks</HI> and <HI>Philo&s;ophy;</HI></L>
<L>And for a &s;ingle Penny can</L>
<L>In&s;truct at once a whole <HI>Divan</HI></L>
<L>Of Coblers, Chimney-&s;weepers, Car-men,</L>
<L>And the whole Tribe of Two-legg'd Vermin</L>
<L>Nor need I mention Foreign Journal,</L>
<L>Tran&s;lated to Gallants Diurnal,</L>
<L>Where <HI>Ver&s;es</HI> given, and &s;toln <HI>Pro&s;e,</HI></L>
<L>A motly <HI>Rhap&s;ody</HI> compo&s;e,</L>
<L><PB N="162" REF="89">
To teach poor Prentice, &s;adly panting,</L>
<L>More modern Methods of Gallanting;</L>
<L>And <HI>Semp&s;tre&s;s,</HI> the most recent Arts,</L>
<L>Of captivating &s;tragling Hearts,</L>
<L>And exerci&s;e the Wit of Youth,</L>
<L>On Snails, Tobacco-pipes and Truth.</L>
<L>Nor him that late in &s;parki&s;h <HI>Pro&s;e,</HI></L>
<L>Appear'd to edifie the <HI>Beaus,</HI></L>
<L>Who, with &s;oft Lines, and &s;ofter Looks,</L>
<L>Expertly baits his Amorous Hooks,</L>
<L>And brings with Elegant <HI>Epi&s;tle,</HI></L>
<L>Each melting <HI>Dam&s;el</HI> to his <HI>Whi&s;tle,</HI></L>
<L>And makes her &s;toop to him as &s;ure</L>
<L>As hungry <HI>Hawk</HI> does to his <HI>Lure;</HI></L>
<L>Who lately drew, in <HI>Vindication,</HI></L>
<L>Of all the <HI>Beauties</HI> in the <HI>Nation,</HI></L>
<L>And boldly tilted with his <HI>Pen,</HI></L>
<L>'Gain&s;t all that dur&s;t oppo&s;e him then;</L>
<L>Which &s;ome <HI>Apology</HI> mi&s;-call, &s;ome <HI>Satyr,</HI></L>
<L>Both equidi&s;tant from the <HI>Matter;</HI></L>
<L>For &s;urely no <HI>De&s;ign</HI> was in't,</L>
<L>But barely to appear in <HI>Print.</HI></L>
<L>Which he as kindly &s;ince has done,</L>
<L><HI>Gallants,</HI> for your <HI>In&s;truction;</HI></L>
<L>Where the <HI>Grand Secrets</HI> he imparts,</L>
<L>For battering <HI>Obdurate Hearts;</HI></L>
<L>How you to <HI>Vizard-mask,</HI> or <HI>Coach,</HI></L>
<L>May make a Regular <HI>Approach:</HI></L>
<L><PB N="163" REF="89">
He &s;hews you how you &s;hall prevail</L>
<L>With Lines as fencele&s;s as a <HI>Flail;</HI></L>
<L>For <HI>Letters Mi&s;&s;ive, Weapons</HI> are,</L>
<L>Which <HI>Lovers</HI> combat with from far:</L>
<L>Shews how to take 'em by <HI>Surprize,</HI></L>
<L>Or u&s;e the <HI>Artillery</HI> of <HI>Eyes:</HI></L>
<L>But if <HI>Nece&s;&s;ity</HI> oblige</L>
<L>To Methods of a clo&s;er <HI>Siege,</HI></L>
<L>He &s;hews &s;uch <HI>Means</HI> as might improve</L>
<L>The greate&s;t <HI>Engineer</HI> in <HI>Love;</HI></L>
<L>To bribe the <HI>Sentinel,</HI> her <HI>Maid,</HI></L>
<L>Or &s;torm her with a <HI>Serenade:</HI></L>
<L>And if by the&s;e &s;he be not won,</L>
<L>Bombard with <HI>Sonnet,</HI> or <HI>Lampoon;</HI></L>
<L>If the&s;e <HI>Attempts</HI> &s;he &s;till defies,</L>
<L>To blow her up with <HI>Mines</HI> of <HI>Sighs;</HI></L>
<L>For <HI>Sighs</HI> indeed, altho' no lowder,</L>
<L>Are the Di&s;charge of <HI>Love's White-pow-der;</HI></L>
<L>And therefore 'tis they &s;eldom fail,</L>
<L>To blow up <HI>Petticoats</HI> full well:</L>
<L>But if &s;o fortify'd &s;he prove,</L>
<L>To baffle all the <HI>A&s;&s;aults</HI> of <HI>Love;</HI></L>
<L>And, on &s;trict <HI>Scrutiny,</HI> you are</L>
<L>Oblig'd in <HI>Honour</HI> to de&s;pair;</L>
<L>He's deepe&s;t read in all tho&s;e <HI>Laws,</HI></L>
<L>That relate neare&s;t to your <HI>Cau&s;e;</HI></L>
<L>Can tell you whether, &s;oon as known,</L>
<L>'Twere properer to Hang or Drown;</L>
<L><PB N="164" REF="90">
In&s;truct you too what Streams or Boughs,</L>
<L>It were convenient you &s;hou'd chu&s;e,</L>
<L>What Art is requi&s;ite, what Care</L>
<L>To plunge, or &s;wing with moving Air;</L>
<L>What Rules are order'd by Romance,</L>
<L>And which are <HI>A la mode de France:</HI></L>
<L>For the&s;e things must be nicely done,</L>
<L>Or el&s;e the Glory of 'em's gone;</L>
<L>By one Mi&s;take more Honour's lost,</L>
<L>Than being beaten from your Post.</L>
<L>I pa&s;s by <HI>S&mdash;tle, D&mdash;rs, A&mdash;es,</HI></L>
<L>For Doggrel celebrated Names;</L>
<L>With Authors of &s;ub&s;tantial <HI>Pro&s;e,</HI></L>
<L>That dre&s;s like <HI>Wits,</HI> and write like <HI>Beaux.</HI></L>
<L>But, to return to Application,</L>
<L>That is, to Self-ju&s;tification;</L>
<L>From citing Ver&s;e-wrights of great Name,</L>
<L>That oft fill every Mouth of <HI>Fame,</HI></L>
<L>Render'd by her &s;o nece&s;&s;ary,</L>
<L>To <HI>Grocer, Cook, Apothecary;</HI></L>
<L>In doing which, my &s;ole Intent</L>
<L>Was meerly to &s;hew Precedent,</L>
<L>And prove, that fine things may be writ,</L>
<L>With very little, or no <HI>Wit,</HI></L>
<L>For <HI>Wit</HI> (&s;ome Authors do maintain)</L>
<L>Is but a <HI>Fungus</HI> of the <HI>Brain,</HI></L>
<L>The Off-&s;pring of &s;uperfluous Thought,</L>
<L>By too luxuriant <HI>Fancy</HI> wrought;</L>
<L><PB N="165" REF="90">
A ha&s;ty and abortive Birth,</L>
<L>Like that of over-teeming Earth,</L>
<L>Which doth to thou&s;and Figures vary,</L>
<L>And therefore not held &s;alutary;</L>
<L>And tho' for wanton Palates drest,</L>
<L>Counted unea&s;ie to digest;</L>
<L>And then too, must be taken young,</L>
<L>Before its Venom grow too &s;trong:</L>
<L>So <HI>Wit</HI>'s anomalous and rude,</L>
<L>Of ill dige&s;tion, and crude,</L>
<L>Till after needful Preparation,</L>
<L>With whole&s;om Picle of Di&s;cretion;</L>
<L>And, where it is of con&s;tant u&s;e,</L>
<L>Does Surfeits in the Mind produce;</L>
<L>Breeds &s;trange Di&s;ea&s;es in the Pur&s;e,</L>
<L>And is its own Admirer's Cur&s;e:</L>
<L>They therefore Pardon &s;urely merit,</L>
<L>Who in their Writings do forbear it;</L>
<L>And rather chu&s;e to feed in quiet,</L>
<L>On homelier, but more whole &s;ome Diet;</L>
<L>From whence, if peccant Vapours breed,</L>
<L>Or turgid Flatulence proceed,</L>
<L>The only <HI>Symptoms</HI> they produce</L>
<L>And Danger's, but a <HI>Crepitus;</HI></L>
<L>Which (as we do in Authors read)</L>
<L>Springs from the Bowels, not the Head;</L>
<L>And, tho' receiv'd with publick &s;corn,</L>
<L>Expires as &s;oon as it is born:</L>
<L><PB N="166" REF="91">
So Writings, which no Sence affords,</L>
<L>Are but a <HI>Crepitus</HI> of Words;</L>
<L>And, tho' with windy Lines they &s;well ye,</L>
<L>Ri&s;e from a <HI>Vacuum</HI> in the Belly;</L>
<L>In which no Meaning's to be found,</L>
<L>Or any Scope, be&s;ide the Sound.</L>
<L>But, Sir, I have almost forgot,</L>
<L>What I intended to have wrote,</L>
<L>And my first Subject wor&s;e neglect,</L>
<L>Than modern <HI>Pulpiteer</HI> his Text,</L>
<L>Who take the freedom to digre&s;s,</L>
<L>And vary Subjects as they plea&s;e;</L>
<L>While with <HI>Rhetorical Harangue,</HI></L>
<L>And Voice tun'd to Religious Twang,</L>
<L>He treats all tho&s;e that come to hear it,</L>
<L>With choicest Gifts of pure&s;t Spirit:</L>
<L>Where Pious Folks convene, drawn thither</L>
<L>By th' help of &s;tiff erected Leather;</L>
<L>With Dre&s;&s;es, Faces, Mien, and Air,</L>
<L>Screw'd up to Piety and Pray'r;</L>
<L>Where Holy Man in all he &s;aith,</L>
<L>Lays Salt of Grace on Tails of Faith;</L>
<L>Where Saints are &s;ous'd in Go&s;pel-pickle,</L>
<L>By Moderns &s;tyl'd, <HI>A Conventicle.</HI></L>
</LG>
</DIV2>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="letters">
<PB N="167" REF="91">
<HEAD>LETTERS OF LOVE <HI>and</HI> GALLANTRY.</HEAD>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<HEAD><HI>To</HI> Eugenia.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>THO' it be not a full Week &s;ince I received the Honour of my dear <HI>Eugenia</HI>'s Letter, yet it has been long enough for me to wi&s;h a thou&s;and times I were Left-handed; &s;ince, by an un|lucky <HI>Sprain</HI> in my Right-hand, I've been forced to omit the Duty the&s;e three Po&s;ts. My Building is near fini&s;h'd; and when it is &s;o, I hope my dear <HI>Euge|nia</HI> will be &s;o kind to her con&s;tant <HI>Slave,</HI> to furni&s;h my new Hou&s;e with an <HI>Enga|ging</HI> new Mi&s;tre&s;s; if not for my &s;ake, at lea&s;t for her own; &s;ince I vow I &s;hall
<PB N="168" REF="92">
come into&mdash;with a mo&s;t fierce De|&s;ign on <HI>Love</HI> and <HI>Matrimony:</HI> And <HI>Love,</HI> you know, is a Spirit, that when once a Woman has conjur'd up, &s;he mu&s;t find it &s;ome Employment, or el&s;e 'twill tear the Charming Sorcere&s;s her &s;elf to pieces. Therefore, fair Widow, be|ware!</P>
<P>If my Hand were not &s;till in great Pain, I'd give you a thou&s;and Thanks for your dear Letter; and, perhaps, pick as many Quarrels with you about it: But Heaven forgive you your want of Cha|rity, when you think I could write the &s;ame things to my Grand-mother, I do to <HI>Eugenia;</HI> when my Con&s;cience can't reproach me with thinking the younge&s;t of your Sex charming enough to extort one of this kind from me, excepting your &s;elf. Nor is it, <HI>Madam,</HI> the ea&s;ie&s;t thing in the World to feign a Pa&s;&s;ion, &s;ay things of that Force and Tender|ne&s;s, or act an ab&s;ent <HI>Lover</HI> for &s;o many Years together, as I have been <HI>Eugenia</HI>'s Votary. I'm &s;ure the whole <HI>Legend</HI> of <HI>Love</HI> can't furni&s;h you with one Exam|ple of &s;o con&s;tant an <HI>Hypocrite,</HI> as I have been, if I mu&s;t needs be &s;o. Therefore,
<PB N="169" REF="92">
if I can't convince you of my Since|rity, and by that plead a Merit to your <HI>Love;</HI> yet let the Novelty of the thing, at lea&s;t, move your Pity, when you think what Pains I've taken (&s;ince all that comes not Naturally is &s;o) to &s;ay &s;o many kind, tender, and pa&s;&s;ionate things of one I have no concern for. Think whether it be not almo&s;t equally difficult to write pa&s;&s;ionately to one I am not really in love with, and to paint a Sound. Who can act Hunger without an Appetite? Or long Scene of Fury and Anger, without being pefectly heated.</P>
<P>But if you are &s;o &s;evere, to think that my fir&s;t Pretences were all Fiction; yet, <HI>Madam,</HI> pray, con&s;ider that Liars often tell Stories of their own Invention &s;o long, till at la&s;t they them&s;elves believe 'em true: And, as the <HI>Roman</HI> in <HI>Martial</HI> counterfeited the <HI>Gout,</HI> till he had it in earne&s;t; &s;o, &s;uppo&s;ing my Vows at fir&s;t but feign'd, they mu&s;t by this time be ripen'd into <HI>Truth</HI> by your Influence, (like the <HI>Dew drops</HI> of <HI>Heaven</HI> into <HI>Preci|ous Stones</HI> by the heat of the <HI>Ea&s;tern Sun)</HI> and &s;o become Sacred, as all things ad|dre&s;&s;ed to you mu&s;t be, <HI>Madam.</HI></P>
<P><PB N="170" REF="93">
But if I lov'd not <HI>Eugenia</HI> with the greate&s;t and mo&s;t &s;incere Pa&s;&s;ion that ever Man lov'd a Woman, I know not what Rea&s;on, what Intere&s;t, or what De&s;ign I cou'd have to pretend it, &s;ince I'm not &s;o vain to expect any other Be|nefit of it than her Laughter, and in that my Trouble. However, <HI>Madam,</HI> I have this Satisfaction in my own Mind, that I love the be&s;t and fine&s;t of her Sex, (tho' a Mother) who, like a Taper, has not &s;uffer'd the lea&s;t Diminution of her own Lu&s;tre, by the lighting others into the World; but &s;till pre&s;erves her Original Light &s;o firmly, as to en&s;lave all that be|hold her, as well as, <HI>Madam,</HI></P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>Your Eternal Slave,
Lysander.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="171" REF="93">
<HEAD>By the Same.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>NO de&s;perate Wretch, guilty of the mo&s;t execrable Murders, had ever that Trouble, that Agony of Mind, that I have endur'd &s;ince the Receipt of Your la&s;t; in which you di&s;covered &s;o &s;evere and cruel a Re&s;entment of a Crime I was not guilty of. If I have ever offended You, I ask Your Ladi&s;hip ten thou&s;and thou&s;and Pardons. Ah! <HI>Madam,</HI> if my <HI>Love</HI> were not as la&s;ting as my <HI>Life,</HI> and &s;o were as in&s;eparable as <HI>Soul</HI> and <HI>Body:</HI> Nay, were there any Pro&s;pect, any Po&s;&s;i|bility of my ever loving You le&s;s, I &s;hou'd not need to be thus trouble&s;om to Your Ladi&s;hip, to beg You not to u&s;e the Ex|tent of Your Power over me, to puni&s;h me for a Crime I was never guilty of: Yet, whether I'm guilty or not, &s;o much, &s;o extravagantly I love You, that if You yet convict me, I &s;hall &s;tand condemned even in my own Opinion. Nay, if You, <HI>Madam,</HI> will po&s;itively accu&s;e me of all the the Ills in the World, I'll own 'em; for it
<PB N="172" REF="94">
&s;hall never be &s;aid, That for the &s;ake of my own Happine&s;s, Intere&s;t, or Honour, I ever contradicted the A&s;&s;ertion of her, I profe&s;s'd the greate&s;t and mo&s;t gene|rous Pa&s;&s;ion for, that ever unhappy Man experienc'd. But, <HI>Madam,</HI> had I been guilty of any little Error, con&s;ider it as coming from a Man almo&s;t di&s;tracted:&mdash;<HI>Di&s;tracted, Madam,</HI> for the Love of you; for I'm &s;ure I appear &s;o to all that vi&s;it me; yet, tho' mo&s;t gue&s;s the Cau&s;e, the Per&s;on is only known to the wounded Heart of,</P>
<CLOSER><SALUTE>Madam, </SALUTE> <SIGNED>Your Con&s;tant Slave,
Lysander.</SIGNED>
<POSTSCRIPT>
<P>Ah! <HI>Madam,</HI> don't u&s;e a Pa&s;&s;ion &s;o ten|der as mine with &s;o much Tyranny, &s;ince the Power you have is but what I give; and it is not generous enough for <HI>Eugenia</HI> to turn again&s;t its Original, tho' he's incapable of with-holding it.</P>
</POSTSCRIPT></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="173" REF="94">
<HEAD>By the Same.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>HOw can the Unfortunate <HI>Ly&s;ander</HI> ever hope for his Divine <HI>Eugenia</HI>'s Pardon, thus daily to torment her with his Impertinence, if &s;he were not the be&s;t, and mo&s;t generous Woman living. As for the Character of a <HI>Beau,</HI> which you're pleas'd to honour me with, I pretty well gue&s;s whence you had it; a very hone&s;t good-humour'd Lady as lives, I mean M^r^s. <HI>S</HI>&mdash;, who Din'd with me once at my Lodging, where Night nor Day you were not forgot. I need not tell you, that M^r^s. <HI>S</HI>&mdash;is as good a Woman as lives, &s;ince all that you recommend mu&s;t be &s;o. When|ever &s;he's a mind to oblige me mo&s;t, and render her Hou&s;e mo&s;t agreeable, &s;he tells me, many think her like <HI>Eugenia:</HI> But cou'd &s;he make me believe &s;o too, &s;he had done her Bu&s;ine&s;s: For (as I told her) that was the way to make her Hou&s;e my Pri&s;on; for had <HI>Eugenia</HI> been Mi&s;tre&s;s of it, I cou'd with Plea&s;ure have been con|fin'd to it for ever. If you would do an Act of <HI>Charity,</HI> (as Widows, you know,
<PB N="174" REF="95">
are good for nothing el&s;e) you would come up to Town, and help marry me to &s;ome old rich Woman, that would be &s;ure to die quickly, in order to the marrying a young one; at lea&s;t, you wou'd &s;peak a good Word for me to my Lady&mdash;, whom, if ever I was to marry, my Lord <HI>D</HI>&mdash;&s;hould give her, as you &s;hould me.</P>
<P>I hope, fair Widow, after this long Si|lence, your Pen will venture on &s;ome other Subject be&s;ides Bu&s;ine&s;s. If your Letters were &s;ometimes da&s;h'd with <HI>Love, &amp;c.</HI> 'twere but a Venial Sin, and what I week|ly pardon to &s;ome young Women in the <HI>Mal,</HI> of your Acquaintance; from whom, by my Soul, I've as good Letters, as tho&s;e celebrated Nuns Letters. My two Mi|&s;tre&s;&s;es <HI>Valeria</HI> and <HI>Belinda,</HI> I &s;erve under the Name of <HI>Polydorus;</HI> but would be ten times more proud and happy to &s;erve your Ladi&s;hip under any Title or Name, whereby I might merit the Character &s;o long &s;ince engraven in the Heart of,</P>
<CLOSER><SALUTE>Madam,</SALUTE> <SIGNED> Your Humble Slave,
Lysander.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="157" REF="95">
<HEAD>By the Same.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>THis Day's Po&s;t made me the hap|pie&s;t Man living, in receiving the Honour of a mo&s;t obliging Letter from my dear <HI>Eugenia,</HI> who can never do any thing that is otherwi&s;e: However, did I not know your Mode&s;ty was &s;o ex|tream, as to look on the &s;malle&s;t <HI>Enco|miums</HI> as Flatteries, tho' your real Me|rit keeps the greate&s;t from being &s;o: I confe&s;s it would be a real Trouble to me, that one, whom I &s;o cordially honour, &s;hou'd mi&s;-interpret the unfeign'd Di|ctates of my Soul, for Compliments. A Devotion, &s;o ju&s;tly grounded on Merit, can never be judg'd counterfeit; for the Glory of the Sun, and the Benefits Man|kind reap'd from his Beams, were al|low'd as &s;ufficient Arguments, to ju&s;tifie the <HI>Per&s;ians</HI> Adoration of him. Your generous Invitation of me into&mdash;is &s;o much to my own Advantage, that a dying Man, when he knows there are but two ways to go, wou'd &s;ooner re|fu&s;e
<PB N="176" REF="96">
an Invitation to Heaven. I beg you, <HI>Madam,</HI> make an Experiment of your Dominion over me, in impo&s;ing &s;ome Commands, that you judge the mo&s;t Ri|gorous, and that may appear as Diffi|cult as this is plea&s;ing. I wou'd fain &s;ee how Ill-natur'd you can be, as well as give a Proof of my Pride, in obeying you. As for <HI>London,</HI> every thing that is worth a Vi&s;it there, will be gone the very Minute you leave it: And there|fore, till your Return, I declare for an Abdication of it, and will here, like an|other <HI>Timon</HI> of <HI>Athens,</HI> live retir'd, and in hatred of all Mankind, for your Sexes &s;ake.</P>
<P>But now, Fair Widow, you mu&s;t give me my Revenge, and let me give you Advice, in Return of what I have re|ceiv'd from you, tho' mine, I promi&s;e you, &s;hall be more con&s;cionable than yours was: For you advi&s;e me to marry an Old Woman (ble&s;s'd, for ought I know, with a &s;tinking Breath, Rheu|mati&s;ms, Coughs, Catarrhs, fal&s;e Teeth, and the other damn'd Accompli&s;hments, which may entitle her to the honourable Appellation of <HI>Venerable:)</HI> But I am,
<PB N="177" REF="96">
<HI>Madam,</HI> better natur'd in my choice for your Ladi&s;hip, and recommend to you a young Man that prefers the Widow to the Jointure, and leaves all but the Trea&s;ure of her Heart to others; one who wou'd be confin'd to a De&s;art (if to be in Heaven can be a Confinement) with her, where the perpetual Bu&s;ine&s;s of his Life &s;hou'd be Immortal <HI>Love;</HI> and I &s;wear, he that would not do all this, and ten thou&s;and times more, is not worthy of her. Such a one, <HI>Madam,</HI> I chu&s;e for you, and if that will not plea&s;e, forbear Wed|lock for ever, as I will do, rather than take up with that reverend piece of Antiquity you mention. In the mean time, the only Alms I beg, is, your Pity and Pardon for,</P>
<CLOSER><SALUTE>Madam,</SALUTE> <SIGNED>Your most &s;incere, oblig'd humble Slave,
Lysander.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="178" REF="97">
<HEAD>By the Same.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>TO expre&s;s the real Sen&s;e I have of all the Noble Favours conferr'd on me at your Hou&s;e, during the long Per&s;ecution I gave you there, were as impo&s;&s;ible as to give your Ladi&s;hip a full and perfect Character of the Pangs and Tortures of Mind I have been under, ever &s;ince my Departure from the Divine <HI>Eugenia,</HI> who&s;e <HI>Idea</HI> perpetually &s;wims before my Sight in all Companies and Places. <HI>Madam,</HI> I'm &s;en&s;ible, I have ten thou&s;and Pardons to ask for the Ex|travagance of my Pa&s;&s;ion in the Pre&s;ence of the Divine <HI>Eugenia:</HI> But I can appeal to Heaven and my own Con&s;cience, that never any Prophane Thought enter'd my Brea&s;t, reflecting on the Divinity I with &s;o unfeign'd a Zeal adore, &s;ince no Man living has that Sacred Opinion of the exalted Honour, Vertue, Wit and Beauty of any Woman, that I have of my too Dear and De&s;tructive <HI>Eugenia.</HI>
<PB N="179" REF="97">
Your Caution, <HI>Madam,</HI> of the <HI>Bath,</HI> might have been nece&s;&s;ary to one that lov'd le&s;s than I do; the Variety of Company that Place now affords, with its other divert|ing Amu&s;ements, might have &s;ome in|fluence over an <HI>Amorous Friend,</HI> or <HI>Com|mon Lover:</HI> But as my Pa&s;&s;ion is propor|tionable to the Object, &s;o nothing on Earth is Diver&s;ion or Plea&s;ure to me, but the Thoughts of Her I love. I can be alone ev'n in a Crowd, and therefore make it my endeavour <HI>to avoid &s;o trouble|&s;ome a &s;olitude.</HI> Good <HI>GOD, Madam!</HI> What is there I can do to &s;hew how mi&s;erable I am for your &s;ake? 'Tis true, <HI>Madam,</HI> my Mi&s;ery derives it &s;elf partly from my Unworthine&s;s; But ah! more! much more, from your not knowing what it is to love: For who can have a real Sen&s;e of another's Pain, but they who have felt the &s;ame? How can the Un|fortunate <HI>Ly&s;ander</HI> ever hope for one kind Thought from his Ador'd <HI>Eugenia,</HI> while her Heart's not touch'd with his Suffer|ings, nay, fortify'd again&s;t Compa&s;&s;ion, by her being &s;urrounded by none but his Enemies? Some may think it a <HI>Reflection on their Friends, to be refus'd, if you &s;hou'd honour any other with your Favour, but
<PB N="180" REF="98">
them:</HI> And <HI>others think it impo&s;&s;ible, that a Pa&s;&s;ion for</HI> Eugenia <HI>&s;hou'd last an Age, &s;ince they never had Merit enough to procure an Hour's Love for Them&s;elves.</HI> Thus, <HI>Ma|dam,</HI> between the Vanity of the Old, and the Ignorance, Envy, and impotent Charms of the Young, I may well expect to be &s;acrific'd; but, however, I &s;hall have the &s;atisfaction of being di&s;tingui&s;h'd from the re&s;t of your Adorers, by being at lea&s;t your Martyr,</P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>Lysander.</SIGNED>
<POSTSCRIPT>
<HEAD>POSTSCRIPT.</HEAD>
<P><HI>Ly&s;ander,</HI> Madam, can never bani&s;h nor le&s;&s;en that Pa&s;&s;ion you mention for <HI>Eugenia,</HI> yet my E&s;teem of Friend&s;hip is &s;o great, that if I cou'd pre&s;ent you with a Pillow of <HI>Love,</HI> to repo&s;e your charming Head on, it &s;hou'd be &s;tuff'd with <HI>Friend&s;hip;</HI> if with a Landskip of <HI>Love,</HI> the Shadows &s;hou'd be <HI>Friend|&s;hip;</HI> if with an Embroidery, the Ground &s;hou'd be <HI>Friend&s;hip;</HI> tho' in the Gardens of <HI>Venus</HI> I can never allow Friend&s;hip to
<PB N="181" REF="98">
be more than a <HI>Winter-fruit,</HI> which, when the Delicacies of the <HI>Summer</HI> is over, may be comfortable enough to the Reverend Old Couple, &s;itting by a Fire-&s;ide, in a long <HI>Winter</HI>'s Night, ev'n as good as roa&s;ted Apples.</P>
</POSTSCRIPT></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="182" REF="99">
<HEAD>LYSANDER <HI>to</HI> EUGENIA, <HI>whom he had de&s;ir'd to write Letters enough to him to make him a</HI> Shroud.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Dear MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>THis Day was I Ble&s;t with a Letter from <HI>Eugenia,</HI> which comes far &s;hort of fini&s;hing my Shroud; a Ream, at lea&s;t, will mode&s;tly &s;uffice to keep even Death from blu&s;hing at him&s;elf; and then, for Warmth, another Ream, I'm &s;ure, you'll not deny, when cold <HI>Ly|&s;ander</HI> begs</P>
<LG>
<L>That Heat and Flame which now your Beau|ty gives,</L>
<L>Can then alone be by your Wit &s;upply'd.</L>
<L>Entomb'd in Amber, Bees may boast their turn;</L>
<L>And wrapt in Flames, let pious Martyrs burn.</L>
<L>Stretch'd in your Letter, Death will be my Triumph.</L>
<L><PB N="183" REF="99">
Embalm'd in <HI>Sen&s;e,</HI> who would not wi&s;h to die?</L>
<L>And <HI>Sen&s;e</HI> that comes from &s;o Divine a Hand?</L>
<L><HI>Aegyptian Mummies</HI> peri&s;h and decay;</L>
<L>But <HI>Shrouds,</HI> like mine, will <HI>Time</HI> it &s;elf out-live,</L>
<L>Wear out his Scythe, and every fleeting Sand.</L>
<L>One Dram of Body cannot here be lost:</L>
<L>But, like a Summer-&s;ute, laid &s;afely by;</L>
<L>When <HI>Spring</HI> appears, are fit to wear again.</L>
<L>So true a <HI>Re&s;urrection</HI> will be rare;</L>
<L>The &s;elf-&s;ame <HI>Body,</HI> with the &s;elf-&s;ame <HI>Soul.</HI></L>
<L>Who then can doubt but the &s;ame Pa&s;&s;ions too?</L>
<L>The &s;ame my <HI>Love,</HI> the &s;ame my <HI>Mi&s;tre&s;s YOU.</HI></L>
</LG>
<P><HI>Madam,</HI> tho' I de&s;ign'd the&s;e Thoughts in down-right Pro&s;e, yet in the Ardor of writing they run into Blank Ver&s;e, whe|ther I would or no. I hope your Lady|&s;hip receiv'd my la&s;t Godly Letter, by which, you may perceive, I can be Devili&s;hly Devout upon Occa&s;ion. The Truth on't is, I have often wondred, <HI>Why all the Young Fellows of the Town &s;et up for</HI> Athei&s;m, <HI>&s;ince they can be &s;o much more conveniently lewd under the Ma&s;que
<PB N="184" REF="100">
of</HI> Religion. If <HI>Belinda,</HI> in the Letters I've communicated to your Ladi&s;hip, has behav'd her &s;elf in any kind di&s;agree|able to her Sex, let me know it, and I'll engage &s;he &s;hall mend her Manners for the future. If you don't think &s;he loves enough, &s;he &s;hall grow jealous, and ne|ver &s;peak well of him her &s;elf, nor &s;uffer Any-body el&s;e to &s;peak ill of him, (the &s;ure&s;t &s;ign of Love in the World) Or if you think her too kind to her Lover, &s;he &s;hall &s;et up for <HI>Religion,</HI> be very Godly, and very Ill-natur'd, rail at <HI>Profanene&s;s,</HI> and in a Pious <HI>Chri&s;tian</HI> way enjoy Some|body &s;he likes better.</P>
<P>Your Ladi&s;hip is plea&s;ed to cen&s;ure my <HI>Jealou&s;ie</HI> as incurable: But pray, <HI>Madam,</HI> be pleas'd to con&s;ider, where Men are apt to be jealous out of Fondne&s;s, as they are often jealous without a Cau&s;e; &s;o they're as often &s;atisfy'd without Rea&s;on. I'm &s;urpriz'd at <HI>Eugenia's Apology</HI> for her writing Non-&s;en&s;e, when there's no Wo|man living, but what might be proud to copy after her: &s;o Free, &s;o Ea&s;ie, &s;o Witty are her Letters: Be&s;ides were it not &s;o, as Mr. <HI>Congreve</HI> has it, there would be more Eloquence in your fal&s;e-&s;pelt Su|per&s;cription,
<PB N="185" REF="100">
than in all <HI>Tully</HI>'s and <HI>De|mo&s;thenes</HI> his Orations, to me, <HI>Madam,</HI> who am</P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>Your most con&s;tant and faithful Humble Servant.
LYSANDER.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="186" REF="101">
<HEAD>By the Same.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>TEN Thou&s;and Thanks to the Di|vine <HI>Eugenia</HI> for this Morning's Ble&s;&s;ing of a Letter, full of the Charms of her that &s;ent 'em; full of Honour, Wit, and Good-humour: nay, more than <HI>Pro|vidence</HI> cou'd &s;pare to you, without form|ing a Ma&s;s of Fools at the &s;ame time to retrieve the Expence.</P>
<LG>
<L><HI>On You the Image of Him&s;elf he &s;tamp'd,</HI></L>
<L><HI>And every part He most Divinely hit;</HI></L>
<L><HI>Your Eyes His Glory, and his Power Your Wit.</HI></L>
</LG>
<P>Pardon me, <HI>Madam,</HI> for this Start of <HI>Poetry;</HI> for tho' I have no Skill in it, I have yet a double Pretence to the At|tempt, both as <HI>Lover</HI> and <HI>Fidler.</HI> Be&s;ides, your Ladi&s;hip's <HI>Poetry</HI> (the fine&s;t, as well as the ea&s;ie&s;t in the World) provoked me to return the Debt; not that I pre&s;um'd, <HI>Madam,</HI> that I could pay you in the &s;ame <HI>Sterling,</HI> but in &s;uch <HI>Birmigham</HI> Coin as I can compa&s;s. Tho'I'm per&s;waded there's
<PB N="187" REF="101">
&s;o much of the <HI>Poetick</HI> Fire in yours, that more of them would do with me, what the <HI>Hermetick</HI> Fire does with Metals, tran&s;mute me into true Standard Gold, and make my <HI>Poetry</HI> as engaging as your Charms, that in&s;pire me with a Love as la&s;ting as your Slave.</P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>LYSANDER.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="188" REF="102">
<HEAD>By the Same.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>HOw long mu&s;t I Write and Sigh in vain? Not one line, not one word, to the Man that loves and adores you next Heaven? Why &s;hou'd I grieve for her, that hates me? Or write to her, that &s;corns to an&s;wer me? That, after all her Profe&s;&s;ions of Friend&s;hip to her <HI>Ly&s;ander,</HI> forgets him, now <HI>Alphon&s;o</HI>'s in the Coun|try? As if &s;he mea&s;ur'd <HI>Love</HI> by the proud weight of the Per&s;on, and not of the Pa&s;|&s;ion; that, after &s;o many Years of &s;incere Love, after the faithful Service of the old Patriarch's waiting, turns him off, for a New-comer; as if you did it to ful|fil what is written, in giving the Laborer that came the la&s;t Hour, the &s;ame wages with him that came the fir&s;t. For my part, <HI>Madam,</HI> I never knew what it was to compound a Debt with a Mi&s;tre&s;s; and for Love to dwindle into Friend&s;hip, is not &s;o much as to pay Twelve-pence in the Pound: No, <HI>Madam,</HI> Time has not made me &s;uch a Bankrupt, and I've an
<PB N="189" REF="102">
hone&s;ter Principle, than to break, when I'm &s;o well &s;tock'd with Love.</P>
<P>This is the third Letter, <HI>Madam,</HI> I've &s;ent you, &s;ince I've heard from you: Town and Country are equally unea&s;ie to me, when I hear not from <HI>Eugenia,</HI> when I'm depriv'd from the fight of her: But I &s;hall find more frequent Opportu|nity of &s;eeing you, de&s;igning, <HI>Don Quixot</HI> like, with my <HI>Sanca Panca,</HI> to travel about in pur&s;uit of Adventures, that may bring me to <HI>Eugenia,</HI> or Death.</P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>LYSANDER.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="190" REF="103">
<HEAD>By the Same.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>THe Letter this Day's Po&s;t brought me, wou'd have &s;urpriz'd any one but me, whom you have &s;o inur'd to In|juries, that I look on my ordinary Inju|&s;tice as an Obligation, having had the ho|nour to have receiv'd an hundred times more than this from your Ladi&s;hip. I was telling my Friend, la&s;t Night, That I had read &s;everal <HI>Encomiums</HI> on the <HI>Gout, Feaver, Plague, &amp;c.</HI> written by witty Men; to which I thought the Prai&s;e of Women might be annex'd; but little expected &s;o home and &s;erious a Proof of the Rea|&s;onablene&s;s of my Je&s;t. Faith, <HI>Madam,</HI> you have &s;uch ill &s;ucce&s;s in the Coun&s;els of your <HI>Allies,</HI> that I wou'd, were I you, for once, try my own. You &s;eldom find Confederates &s;ucce&s;sful again&s;t a &s;ingle Foe, who has No-body to con&s;ult but his own Will and Plea&s;ure. We take the Field when we will; march when we will, and do what we will, while the
<PB N="191" REF="103">
different Powers, that make up a Con|federacy, draw each a &s;everal way, and by the &s;lowne&s;s of their Re&s;olutions, lo&s;e the Opportunity of their Fortune. How|ever, <HI>Madam,</HI> 'tis not your Severity can de&s;troy my Pa&s;&s;ion, I mu&s;t and will be yours one way or other; no Re&s;olutions, no Unkindne&s;s can ever alter me. My Love, <HI>Eugenia,</HI> is like the Appearance of a <HI>Phoenix,</HI> not to be &s;een, but once in a thou&s;and Years: My Tongue never pro|fe&s;&s;es what my Heart is not po&s;&s;e&s;s'd with. No, no, <HI>Madam, Love</HI> is too noble a Pa&s;&s;ion to be fool'd with. Your laying Addre&s;&s;es el&s;ewhere to my Charge, is Obliging; for nothing cou'd plea&s;e me more than your Jealou&s;ie; yet, let me a&s;&s;ure the Divine <HI>Eugenia,</HI> that 'tis no ea&s;ie matter for a Man bred up in an Adoration, for twice &s;even Years toge|ther, to change his Devotion; and what|ever little Excur&s;ions I might make, all this time, 'twas but to pray to others for your &s;ake. And thus you &s;ee, <HI>Madam,</HI> how little Pains I &s;pare to win the Em|pire of the World, <HI>Your Love.</HI></P>
<LG>
<PB N="192" REF="104">
<L>If only to be happy, be to live,</L>
<L>As all the Brave and Generous believe;</L>
<L>You'll in one Year within my Arms live more,</L>
<L>Than all the ta&s;tle&s;s Years you liv'd be|fore;</L>
<L>One bla&s;t of Breath will never then be lo&s;t,</L>
<L>But Lip from Lip, each others Soul be to&s;t:</L>
<L>Thus by a new <HI>Philo&s;ophy,</HI> we'll prove,</L>
<L><HI>Perpetual Motion,</HI> and <HI>Eternal Love.</HI></L>
</LG>
<P>Deare&s;t <HI>Eugenia,</HI> Adieu; never again be &s;o cruel to throw away any more fruitle&s;s Advice, about changing my Ad|dre&s;s; for 'tis impo&s;&s;ible I &s;hou'd ever be other than</P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>Your Con&s;tant Slave,
LYSANDER.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="193" REF="104">
<HEAD>To my Lady&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><DATELINE>Richmond, <DATE>March 4.</DATE></DATELINE></OPENER>
<P>HEre I am at la&s;t, <HI>Madam,</HI> to &s;hew you the force of my Re&s;olution; and here I po&s;itively &s;tay till <HI>Saturday:</HI> Nay, I don't know but I may &s;tretch it to <HI>Monday:</HI> For if once I get into Town again, the <HI>Lord</HI> knows when I get out on't; and, I'm afraid, I &s;han't &s;uck &s;o much of this Heavenly Air in two Days, as I may po&s;&s;ibly &s;tand in need of: For I don't find my Legs of half that Im|portance to me they us'd to be. Half a Mile up Hill makes 'em grumble cur&s;ed|ly. I have a &s;coundrel pair of Bellows too, that puff and blow, and make a dam|nable Splutter. In &s;hort, the pre&s;ent Scituation of my Affairs are &s;uch, I can give but a very &s;curvy Account of the perte&s;t part about me.</P>
<P>That things may mend, is my Hope and my Comfort, <HI>Madam;</HI> for were they to hang long thus, 'twere no great Lo&s;s, either to my &s;elf, or other Folks, if I were hang'd too. Po&s;&s;ibly your Ladi&s;hip may
<PB N="194" REF="105">
be of my Opinion; if you are, pray, to&s;s me a &s;hort Prayer into your <HI>Lent-devo|tions</HI> for my Re-e&s;tabli&s;hment. I would have begg'd one from a <HI>Catholick</HI> Lady in the next Room, who is puzzling over a long lewd Account &s;he's to make up a|gain&s;t <HI>Ea&s;ter;</HI> but &s;he's &s;o taken up with her Sins and her <HI>Crucifix,</HI> &s;he cares not if I were damn'd. If I am not, I hope &s;he will; for &s;he's &s;o ugly, I de&s;ire I may ne|ver be in the &s;ame place with her again.</P>
<CLOSER><POSTSCRIPT>
<P>The Penny-po&s;t, <HI>Madam,</HI> is to hand this to the Town's-end, and he's ju&s;t &s;tarting: So, if my Letter's too &s;hort, 'tis he's the Puppy-dog this time, not I.</P>
</POSTSCRIPT></CLOSER>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="195" REF="105">
<HEAD>To Mr.&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Hone&s;t DICK,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>I Have not only heard of, but born a part in &s;ome of your Frolicks; yet never ob&s;erved any &s;o extravagant, as gave me rea&s;on to apprehend you wou'd ever be &s;o mad as to marry. Sure the De|vil is in thee, or her; for without <HI>Fa&s;cina|tion</HI> this Miracle could never be wrought? To be very &s;ick of <HI>Love</HI> is no wonder, but that can't la&s;t long; the raging <HI>Feaver</HI> mu&s;t pa&s;s, or kill. Your <HI>Fate</HI> is &s;oon de|termin'd; a few Days bring it to its <HI>Cri&s;is:</HI> And is it not better dying quietly in your own Sheets, than in a whining Wife's Arms? You can never live in Charity with her ten Days together, unle&s;s you are a &s;tricter <HI>Chri&s;tian</HI> than I take you, or think it po&s;&s;ible for one of Nineteen to be. Experience, dear-bought Experience has convinc'd me, that the Difference be|tween Women con&s;i&s;ts more in our Ca|pricious Humours, and the Sen&s;e of Va|riety, than any intrin&s;ick Goodne&s;s, not very common to their Sex. The Novelty may plea&s;e, 'tis true; but after the fir&s;t
<PB N="196" REF="106">
Week's Enjoyment, a Wife is eternally the &s;ame: the Ruine of your E&s;tate, and the Di&s;quiet of your Bed. If &s;he live three Years, &s;he'll &s;pend more than her Fortune in Cloaths. If &s;he bring you any Children, the&s;e are &s;o many fre&s;h Ad|ditions to your Misfortunes, creating Torments if they live, and Grief if they die. Which of thy Sins, <HI>Dick,</HI> has been &s;o black in it &s;elf, or &s;o heinous in its cir|cum&s;tances; &s;o frequently repeated, or &s;o long unrepented of, as to de&s;erve &s;o heavy, &s;o la&s;ting a Damnation? You that cou'd never like a Woman above a Week, and chang'd your Mi&s;tre&s;&s;es fa&s;ter than they did their Lodgings: How, alas! do you think it po&s;&s;ible not to be mi&s;erable under this Pagan Yoak? Tho' I don't pretend to the Spirit of Prophecy, yet I dare engage you'd give five times her E|&s;tate, within the Year, to be at Liberty again. Alas! <HI>Dick,</HI> this is not a Confine|ment that ten <HI>Guinea's</HI> will bear you out of; but, what is the greate&s;t Mi&s;chief, 'twill la&s;t all your Life. The knowing that we can't alter our Condition, I be|lieve, is the mo&s;t &s;en&s;ible Affliction that can befal us. You know the Story of the Man that broke his Heart with the
<PB N="197" REF="106">
Thoughts of being forbidden to walk without the Walls of a great City, tho' he had never &s;tirr'd a Foot out of it before. Be&s;ides, a Husband is the mo&s;t in&s;ipid Cha|racter of all Mankind, never plea&s;ing, and &s;eldom plea&s;ed; tormented in his own Per&s;on, and more feelingly in that of his Children, who are continually whipp'd and beaten, to be reveng'd of his Unkind|ne&s;s, or to provoke his Anger. Be &s;o|ber once in thy Life, and renounce the Thoughts of &s;o fatal a Con&s;equence. Why will you affect drinking out of <HI>Horn,</HI> when you have &s;o much <HI>Plate?</HI> You had be&s;t &s;hew this to you Fair <HI>Char|mer,</HI> and demon&s;trate the Powers of her Eyes, by re&s;i&s;ting &s;o whol&s;om and &s;ea|&s;onable Advice. If you think fit, do &s;o; I had rather lo&s;e her Good-will, than not &s;hew my own <HI>Integrity;</HI> and wou'd re|fu&s;e your <HI>Friend&s;hip,</HI> if I might not &s;hew my own.</P>
</DIV2>
<DIV2 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="198" REF="107">
<HEAD>To Mrs.&mdash;</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Lovely Object of my &s;olicitous De&s;ires!</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>TIs impo&s;&s;ible for me to re&s;i&s;t the Charms of your bewitching Face; and if you are not le&s;s cruel than you're fair, I &s;hall be eternally mi&s;erable. Heaven knows with what an unu&s;ual throbbing my Heart was &s;eiz'd, when fir&s;t I &s;aw you. And who, indeed, could behold, without a tender Concern, the Beautifulle&s;t Creature, that Nature ever made, or our Eyes at lea&s;t beheld? And from whence cou'd proceed &s;o un|accountable a Di&s;order, unle&s;s from <HI>Love?</HI> It is not &s;uperfluous to confe&s;s a Flame, I cou'd not po&s;&s;ibly avoid. And what needs there more to convince the World of my Pa&s;&s;ion, than the A&s;&s;urance I had &s;een you? <HI>Love</HI> is &s;o Charming in its Birth, that we readily yield to his &s;ofter Impul&s;es; but &s;o powerful withal, that we as vainly oppo&s;e them. In your Com|pany con&s;i&s;ts my Happine&s;s; and I am wretched, when I am forc'd from your Feet. Could my Dear <HI>Dorinda</HI> know, with what Angui&s;h and Horror I pa&s;s
<PB N="199" REF="107">
every tedious Hour away, while at this di&s;tance from her, &s;he wou'd doubtle&s;s wi&s;h my Condition le&s;s wretched. Com|mon Gratitude obliges us to Pity, if we can't redre&s;s the Mi&s;eries we cau&s;e. Since this is the only Happine&s;s I can at pre&s;ent enjoy, be &s;o indulgent as to permit it: For why &s;hou'd you refu&s;e me a Felicity, that can &s;tand you but in Two Pence? If the declaring my Pa&s;&s;ion you imputed to me as a Crime, the Torments it creates me, are a &s;ufficient Puni&s;hment, and you are reveng'd of all my Faults in my own De&s;pair.</P>
</DIV2>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="letter">
<PB N="200" REF="108">
<HEAD>A <HI>LETTER</HI> of <HI>AENEAS SYLVIUS,</HI> who was afterwards Pope <HI>PIUS</HI> the Second, to his Fa|ther, about a Ba&s;tard-Son, whom he &s;ent to him.</HEAD>
<HEAD TYPE="sub">Tran&s;lated from the <HI>Latin,</HI> by Mr. <HI>T. Brown.</HI></HEAD>
<BIBL><HI>Aeu. Sylv. Oper. p. 510. Edit. Ba&s;il.</HI></BIBL>
<P>YOu &s;ent me word in your la&s;t, That you could not tell whether you were to rejoyce, or grieve at the late <HI>Pre&s;ent</HI> that <HI>Providence</HI> made me of a Son. For my part, I &s;ee rea&s;on enough for the former, but not the lea&s;t pretence for the latter: For tell me, what prettier Sport is there, than for a Man to beget his own Likene&s;s? Or what more refre&s;hing &s;ight can there be, on this &s;ide. Heaven, than to &s;ee one's Table well &s;tock'd with Olive|branches? As for my &s;elf, without blu&s;h|ing, I own to you, That 'tis an un&s;peaka|ble Plea&s;ure to me, to find, that I have not be&s;tow'd my Pains in a barren Soil; and I daily return my Thanks to Heaven, for
<PB N="201" REF="108">
&s;ending me no <HI>Cloven Pre&s;ent,</HI> no whim|pering, &s;illy Girl; but a fine chopping, lu&s;ty Boy, who will help to divert you and ray Mother, with his innocent Prat|ling. Now, Sir, if you took any Satisfa|ction at my Birth, why &s;hou'd not the Cockies or your old Heart dance upon this occa&s;ion; or why &s;hou'd you not be as well pleas'd to behold my Picture in a Grand-&s;on? But, perhaps, you'll tell me, That your Con&s;cience is &s;ome what un|ea&s;ie, becau&s;e the poor Child was begot|ten in Sin, and out of the Pale of <HI>Matri|mony.</HI> If the Shooe pinches you there, I mu&s;t ask you a few Civil Que&s;tions be|fore we part. Pray, Sir, what Materials was I compos'd of? As I take it, I am not made of Stone, or Iron, or any &s;uch unrelenting Ingredients. You begot me true Fle&s;h and Blood, and, if I have com|mitted any Crime, in making u&s;e of my Parts, I'll e'en place it to your Score; for I'll &s;wear I had all the peccant Uten&s;ils from you. In the next place, Do but con|&s;ider how it was with your &s;elf at my Years: You know well enough, without my refre&s;hing your Memory for you, that you never lay under the &s;candal of a Fum|bler. I am your own lawful Son; no blot
<PB N="202" REF="109">
to your Family, I hope; no <HI>Eunuch,</HI> or any thing like it. Neither am I <HI>Hypo|crite</HI> enough, to pretend to more Sanctity than the re&s;t of my Neighbours. I frank|ly own, I have been a tre&s;pa&s;&s;er, a vile a|bominable tre&s;pa&s;&s;er in my time; but, to my great Comfort, <HI>David</HI> and <HI>Solomon,</HI> went the &s;ame road before me: and, as I am mode&s;t in my own Nature, a Cur&s;e light on me, if ever I de&s;ire to be thought holier than King <HI>David,</HI> or wi&s;er than his Son. If 'tis a Sin, it can &s;ay abundance of &s;hrewd things for it &s;elf; it can plead An|tiquity and Univer&s;ality, and quotes the <HI>Lord</HI> knows how many Texts out of the New and old Te&s;tament; and, to deal plainly with you, I don't believe there's one Man between the two Poles, unle&s;s he has a very &s;curvy confounded Body in|deed, that has not at one time or another been guilty of it in Thought or Deed. This Corruption (if it may be call'd a Cor|ruption for a Man to imploy his Natural Talent) is of all Countries and Regions: But, under the Ro&s;e, Sir, why &s;hou'd <HI>Co|pulation</HI> be treated with &s;uch ill Lan|guage, as generally 'tis; or why &s;hou'd our <HI>Ca&s;ui&s;ts</HI> &s;o furiou&s;ly condemn it, &s;ince Nature, that never does any thing in vain,
<PB N="203" REF="109">
has interwoven this Appetite with our very Con&s;titutions, and in&s;pired the whole Creation with an eternal de&s;ire to con|tinue their own Species? But, I &s;uppo&s;e you'll reply, That there are certain limits within which 'tis lawful, and that this Action ought never to be done without the Church's Con&s;ent. Well, for once, let us take it for granted, That as Man ought never to get up and ride, without the Prie&s;ts Benediction: But how does this mend the Matter? Was there never any Sin, do you think, committed within the Matrimonial Sheets? I hope, Old Gentle|man, you'll not advance &s;uch fal&s;e Do|ctrine as that is. There are fix'd Rules too for our Eating and Drinking; but what Man, in a thou&s;and, is &s;uch a &s;lavi&s;h Coxcomb, as to be confin'd to them? Some Whining-grave Ra&s;cals may tell you, They were never guilty of Sin, and demurely wipe their Mouths after they have &s;aid it; but I hate all Lyars, and, &s;ince I carry Human Infirmities about me, &s;corn to conceal or deny them: So much for this Point. But becau&s;e you &s;eem to di&s;tru&s;t, that other People have had a Finger in the Pye, and wou'd fain be &s;atisfied whether the Child really be|longs
<PB N="204" REF="110">
to me or no: Pray, Sir, be pleas'd to take this &s;hort Hi&s;tory of the whole Affair. I had been <HI>Envoy</HI> at <HI>Strasburg</HI> &s;ome two Years, and, as it happen'd, had no great Bu&s;ine&s;s upon my Hands, when a Woman, newly arrived from <HI>England,</HI> who had Youth and Beauty enough to plea&s;e a nicer Palate than mine, chanced to come to the &s;ame Inn where I lodged: She &s;poke the <HI>Italian</HI> Tongue perfectly well, and I had a long Conver&s;ation with her in that Language, which was &s;o much the more entertaining to me, becau&s;e I &s;o little expected to meet one that under|&s;tood <HI>Italian</HI> in tho&s;e parts of the World. In &s;hort, what with her <HI>Wit</HI> and <HI>Beauty,</HI> &s;he gain'd an ab&s;olute A&s;cendant over my Heart; &s;o that, as often as I beheld her, I cou'd not help thinking on the Fa|mous <HI>Cleopatra,</HI> who, chiefly with the Gaiety and Charms of her Di&s;cour&s;e, made &s;uch a pair of A&s;&s;es of <HI>Julius Coe&s;ar</HI> and <HI>Mark Antony.</HI> Thought I, to my &s;elf, who can blame &s;uch an incon&s;iderable diminutive Fellow as I am, for doing what the mo&s;t Illu&s;trious <HI>Heroes</HI> of An|tiquity have ju&s;tified by their own Ex|amples? Sometimes I &s;upported my &s;elf by the Precedent of <HI>Mo&s;es,</HI> &s;ometimes of
<PB N="205" REF="110">
<HI>Ari&s;totle,</HI> and &s;ometimes by famous In|&s;tances in the <HI>Chri&s;tian</HI> Church. To make &s;hort of my Story, I was pa&s;&s;ionately in love with this <HI>Belle Tramontane,</HI> and at|tempted her with all the <HI>Rhetorick</HI> I was Ma&s;ter of. But &s;he, deaf to my Vows and Pa&s;&s;ion, &s;lighted all my Prote&s;tations; &s;o that, for three long-liv'd Days, (an Age in the Chronicles of <HI>Love)</HI> I found I had made little or no progre&s;s in her Affecti|ons. Whether this was the Effect of her <HI>Vertue,</HI> her <HI>Fear,</HI> or <HI>Di&s;cretion,</HI> I won't be po&s;itive, but am inclin'd to the latter. For, as it appear'd, &s;he &s;tood in &s;ome awe of the Hou&s;e, from whom &s;he expected cer|tain Kindne&s;&s;es.</P>
<P>The fatal Night now approach'd, and next Morning early &s;he was to pur&s;ue her Journey. What <HI>Fears,</HI> what <HI>Apprehen&s;ions</HI> reached my Soul, lea&s;t the <HI>Quarry</HI> &s;hould e&s;cape me? I threw my &s;elf down at her Feet, embraced her Knees, and conjur'd her not to bolt her Door; adding, that in the Silence of the Night I wou'd &s;teal to her Chamber, and give her the la&s;t Con|victions, that I was her mo&s;t devoted Va&s;&s;al. She refus'd to comply with my De&s;ires, &s;tood much upon her <HI>Virtue,</HI> and gave me not the lea&s;t Hopes of &s;ucceed|ing.
<PB N="206" REF="111">
I &s;till importun'd her upon the &s;ame Chapter, but &s;he &s;till made me the &s;ame An&s;wer, and in&s;i&s;ted upon her <HI>Vertue.</HI> Well, when all the Family was gone to Bed, &s;aid I to my &s;elf, Shall I &s;ee whether the Lady has done as I de&s;ir'd her, or no? All Women are Riddles; perhaps &s;he has &s;ince thought better of the mat|ter; and, after all, 'tis no great trouble to try the Experiment. Finding all was hu&s;hed, I groped my way to her Cham|ber in the dark: The Door was &s;hut, but not bolted; &s;o in I came, ru&s;h'd into Bed, and after a little fooli&s;h &s;truggling, got Po&s;&s;e&s;&s;ion of her Body, the Fruit of which Night's Work was this hopeful Boy. This merry Scene befel me about the be|ginning of <HI>February,</HI> and nine Months after, my dear lovely Bedfellow, who&s;e Name was <HI>Betty,</HI> dropt in two, and was deliver'd of the above-mention'd Babe. This Account I had from her own Mouth at <HI>Ba&s;il,</HI> where it was my good Fortune to meet with her again. At fir&s;t I thought &s;he had invented this Story, on purpo&s;e to wheedle a Sum of Money out of me, and gave no great heed to it: But then con|&s;idering, that the Enjoyment of her at <HI>Strasburg</HI> had not co&s;t me a Farthing,
<PB N="207" REF="111">
but only put me to the Expence of a few fooli&s;h Oaths, and &s;o forth, which are ea|&s;ily coined in a Lover's Mint, I began to alter my Opinion. She acted before upon a generous Principle of Love, and no in|direct mercenary Ends; therefore, why &s;hould I now &s;u&s;pect her Integrity? Be|&s;ides, the Time, and all other Circum|&s;tances agreed &s;o well, that I could no longer doubt of what &s;he told me, e&s;pe|cially it being at a Juncture, when &s;he cou'd expect no great matters from me. The&s;e Rea&s;ons induced me to believe, that the Child was begot with the Sweat of my Brows: Therefore, pray Sir, take him into your Family; be&s;tow &s;ome little <HI>Greek</HI> and <HI>Latin</HI> upon the young Rogue, breed him up in the Fear of his Maker, and afford him Shelter in a Garret, till he's big enough to find the way to his Daddy.</P>
<CLOSER><SALUTE>Farewell.</SALUTE></CLOSER>
<TRAILER>FINIS.</TRAILER>
</DIV1>
</BODY>
</TEXT>
</EEBO>
</ETS>
