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<DATE>2010-01-05</DATE>
<RESPSTMT>
<NAME>Mona Logarbo</NAME>
<RESP>MURP</RESP>
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<ITEM>Proofed and reviewed as part of batch B081142.pdcc.</ITEM>
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<EEBO>
<IDG S="marc" R="UM" ID="B02462">
<STC T="W">c6779</STC>
<BIBNO T="umi">99887983</BIBNO>
<VID>183656</VID>
</IDG>
<TEXT LANG="eng">
<BODY>
<DIV1 TYPE="ballad">
<PB N="577" REF="1" MS="y"><!-- PDF PAGE 2 -->
<HEAD>The Crafty MISS, Or, An <HI>Exci&s;e-man</HI> well fitted.</HEAD>
<ARGUMENT>
<P>Being a true Relation of an Exci&s;e-man who lately in the County of Kent, had received the &s;um of four&s;core pounds, and lighting into the Company of a Crafty Mi&s;s who gave him the Chou&s;e for it all; and riding away with his Gelding, left in the &s;tead a Mare which &s;he had &s;tole; for which Mare he was arraigned, and narrowly e&s;caped the &s;evere penalty of the Law: which may be a &s;ufficient warning to all Exci&s;emen far and near, to amend their lives, to hate a Mi&s;s, and love their Wives.</P>
</ARGUMENT>
<OPENER>To the Tune of, Moggies Jealou&s;ie.</OPENER>
<LG>
<L>THere was an Exci&s;e-man &s;o fine,</L>
<L>rode into the County of Kent,</L>
<L>And there he received much Coyn,</L>
<L>for that very bu&s;ine&s;s he went:</L>
<L>He met with a jolly brave Mi&s;s.</L>
<L>her beauty was fair to behold,</L>
<L>But &s;he gave him a judas ki&s;s,</L>
<L>and &s;hew'd him a trick for his Gold.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>She rod on a bonny brave Mare,</L>
<L>he rid on a Gelding al&s;o,</L>
<L>He whi&s;per'd a word in her ear.</L>
<L>&s;traight way to an Inn they did go</L>
<L>He was of a pretty Condition,</L>
<L>he call'd her the joy of his life,</L>
<L>And then without any &s;u&s;pition,</L>
<L>they pa&s;&s;ed for Husband and Wife.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>They &s;et up the Mare and the Gelding,</L>
<L>and call'd for a Supper with &s;peed,</L>
<L>Their Wine it was plentily fill'd in,</L>
<L>and lovingly then they agreed:</L>
<L>O then they were heartily merry,</L>
<L>their joys did begin to abound,</L>
<L>They drank up full brimmers of &s;herry</L>
<L>and the Gla&s;s it went merrily round,</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>He had not the &s;ight of his folly,</L>
<L>fond love had &s;o blinded his eyes,</L>
<L>O then he was heartily jolly,</L>
<L>he thought he had gotten a prize,</L>
<L>Then whil&s;t they mo&s;t lovingly greeted,</L>
<L>he thought he was certainly ble&s;&s;,</L>
<L>But ne'r was Exci&s;e-man &s;o Cheated,</L>
<L>O now comes the Cream of the je&s;t.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>He pull'd out a Pur&s;e full of Gold,</L>
<L>which he had receiv'd for Exci&s;e,</L>
<L>And &s;aid to his Landlord, behold,</L>
<L>keep this till next morning we ri&s;e;</L>
<L>His Mi&s;s &s;he did call him her Honey,</L>
<L>and &s;traight to embracing they fall,</L>
<L>But her mind &s;till run on the money,</L>
<L>to give him the Chou&s;e for it all</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>And while he was &s;noring and &s;leeping,</L>
<L>&s;he thought it no time to delay.</L>
<L>But giving the Landlord a Meeting&punc;</L>
<L>O thus unto him &s;he did &s;ay:</L>
<L>My husband he has not the power,</L>
<L>to ri&s;e although it be day,</L>
<L>Yet he hath appointed an hour</L>
<L>to pay all this money away.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>The time doth begin to expire,</L>
<L>then prithee now &s;adle his Steed,</L>
<L>And Landlord I do you de&s;ire,</L>
<L>to fetch me the Money with &s;peed:</L>
<L>The Inn-keeper he did believe it,</L>
<L>and fetch her the four&s;core pound,</L>
<L>And &s;he was as glad to receive it,</L>
<L>&s;he neither &s;par'd Hor&s;e-fle&s;h nor ground</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>But when the Exci&s;e-man did waken,</L>
<L>and found that his Mi&s;s &s;he was fled,</L>
<L>And &s;eeing him&s;elf thus for&s;aken,</L>
<L>whils he had been &s;leeping a Bed,</L>
<L>O then how he rapped and thounder'd,</L>
<L>he was in a Cholerick heat;</L>
<L>His Pockets was pilleg'd and plunder'd</L>
<L>he found he had met with a Cheat.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>The Landlord the Chamber did enter,</L>
<L>and bowing him&s;elf to the ground,</L>
<L>Sir have you forgot where you &s;ent her</L>
<L>to pay in the four&s;core pound?</L>
<L>The Landlord no &s;ooner had &s;aid it,</L>
<L>but then he was daunted &s;traightway</L>
<L>But yet for the &s;ake of his Credit,</L>
<L>O never a word he would &s;ay.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>But then he was fretting and petting.</L>
<L>he had ne'r a penny of Cole,</L>
<L>His Mi&s;s rid away with the Gelding,</L>
<L>and left him a Mare &s;he had &s;tole:</L>
<L>For which they did &s;oon apprehend him,</L>
<L>in &s;orrow he then did complain,</L>
<L>For they to a Pri&s;on did &s;end him,</L>
<L>where he did till Sizes remain.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>And there he was raign'd at the Bar,</L>
<L>be&s;ides all the Money he lo&s;t.</L>
<L>O now you Exci&s;e-men beware,</L>
<L>you &s;ee in your Courting you're cro&s;t</L>
<L>The Bill it had like to been found,</L>
<L>becau&s;e he had called for his Wife&punc;</L>
<L>Is co&s;t him many a pound,</L>
<L>and had like to had<GAP DESC="illegible" EXTENT="1 letter"> co&s;t him his life.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>This was in Roche&s;ter City,</L>
<L>the truth you may certainly find,</L>
<L>The people afforded no pitty,</L>
<L>but &s;aid he was &s;erv'd in his kind:</L>
<L>But now the Exci&s;e-man is &s;orry</L>
<L>that ever he met with this Iade,</L>
<L>For &s;ure &s;he had learned her Iurry,</L>
<L>&s;he lackt but a &s;tock to her Trade</L>
</LG>
<TRAILER>FINIS.</TRAILER>
</DIV1>
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