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<DATE>2011-05-31</DATE>
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<NAME>Pip Willcox</NAME>
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<TEXT LANG="eng">
<FRONT>
<DIV1 TYPE="title page">
<PB REF="1" MS="y">
<P>A WEDDING Ring Fit for the FINGER: Or, the &s;alve of <HI>DIVINITY</HI> On the &s;ore of <HI>H&V;MANITY.</HI></P>
<P>Laid open in a Sermon at a Wed|ding in <HI>Edmonton,</HI> by <HI>William Secker</HI> Preacher of the Go&s;pel.</P>
<P><HI>London,</HI> Printed for <HI>Thomas Parkhur&s;t</HI> at the three Crowns over-again&s;t the great Conduit at the lower end of <HI>Cheap-&s;ide.</HI> 1658.</P>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="dedication">
<PB REF="2">
<PB REF="2">
<OPENER><SALUTE>Chri&s;tian Reader,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P><HI>_IT is not good weigh|ing ones worth in &s;uch unequal bal|lances, where the feather of opi|nion turnes the &s;cales. One &s;poke can never &s;tand &s;till while&s;t the whole wheel turnes round. The gifts and graces of Chri&s;tians lay in common till envie made the fir&s;t in|clo&s;ure.
<PB REF="3">
Here thou maye&s;t &s;hew thy wi&s;dome in &s;pin|ning a fine thread out of cour&s;e wooll. Do not hurt him by thy malice, who would help thee in thy marriage. Who would plant a piece or Ordnance to beat down an a&s;pen leafe, which having alwayes the pal&s;ie, will fall alone? This piece neither de&s;ires &s;up|planters, nor de&s;erves &s;uppor|ters. It comes forth as a pre&s;&s;ed Souldier, not as a Vo|lunteer, what it was in prea|ching, it is in publi&s;hing; There is not one cubit added to its &s;tature, to &s;ecure it from the Avenger of blood, it flyes to thy City
<PB N="7" REF="3">
of refuge. Let him who &s;owes his paines, reap thy prayers.</HI></P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>Thine in the Lord Je&s;us William Secker.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV1>
</FRONT>
<BODY>
<DIV1 TYPE="sermon">
<PB REF="4">
<PB REF="4">
<EPIGRAPH>
<Q><BIBL>Gen. 2. 18.</BIBL>
<P>And the Lord God &s;aid, it is not good that the man &s;hould be alone, I will make him a help meet for him.</P></Q>
</EPIGRAPH>
<P>_HUmane mi&s;ery is to divine mercy, as a black foile to a &s;parkling Diamond, or as a &s;able cloud to the Sunne-beames; <HI>P&s;al. 8. 4. Lord what is man, that thou art mindful of him!</HI> man is,
<LIST>
<ITEM>In his Creation, Angelical.</ITEM>
<ITEM><PB N="10" REF="5">In his Corruption, Diabolical.</ITEM>
<ITEM>In his Renovation, Theological.</ITEM>
<ITEM>In his Tran&s;lation, Maje&s;tical.</ITEM>
<ITEM>An Angel in <HI>Eden.</HI></ITEM>
<ITEM>A Devil in the World.</ITEM>
<ITEM>A Saint in the Church.</ITEM>
<ITEM>A King in Heaven.</ITEM>
</LIST></P>
<P>There were foure &s;ilver Chan|nels in which the chry&s;tal &s;treames of Gods affection ran to man in his Creation.
<LIST>
<ITEM>1. In his Preparation.</ITEM>
<ITEM>2. In his A&s;&s;imulation.</ITEM>
<ITEM>3. In his Coronation.</ITEM>
<ITEM>4. In his A&s;&s;ociation.</ITEM>
</LIST></P>
<P N="1">1. In his <HI>preparation:</HI> Other creatures recieved the Charter of their beings by a &s;imple <HI>fiat,</HI> but there was a con&s;ultation at his forming; not for the difficulty, but for the dignity of the work. The Painter is mo&s;t &s;tudious about that which he means to make his Ma&s;ter-piece. The foure Elements were taken out of their Elements
<PB N="11" REF="5">
to make up the perfection of mans complexion; The fire was purifi'd, the aire was clarifi'd, the water was purged, the earth was refined, when man was moulded, heaven and earth was married; a body from the one was e&s;pou&s;ed to a &s;oul from the other.</P>
<P N="2">2. In his <HI>a&s;&s;imulation:</HI> Other creatures were made like them|&s;elves, but man was made like God, as the wax hath the impre&s;&s;ion of the &s;eal &s;et upon it. It's admirable to behold &s;o faire a picture in &s;uch cour&s;e canvas, and &s;o bright a Character in &s;uch a brown pa|per.</P>
<P N="3">3. In his <HI>coronation:</HI> He that made man and all the re&s;t, made man over all the re&s;t. <HI>Quantillum Dominum po&s;uit, Deus in tantum do|minium,</HI> he was a little Lord of a great Lord&s;hip; This King was crowned in his cradle.</P>
<P N="4">4. In his <HI>a&s;&s;ociation:</HI> Society is
<PB N="42" REF="6">
the &s;olace of humanity: The world would be a de&s;art without a con|&s;ort.</P>
<P>Mo&s;t of mens parts are made in paires; now he that was double in his perfection, mu&s;t not be &s;ingle in his condition, <HI>and the Lord God &s;aid, &amp;c.</HI></P>
<P>The&s;e words are like the Iron|gate that opened to <HI>Peter</HI> of it's own accord, dividing them&s;elves into three parts.</P>
<LIST>
<ITEM>1. An introduction: <HI>and the Lord God &s;aid.</HI></ITEM>
<ITEM>2. An a&s;&s;ertion, <HI>'tis not good that the man &s;hould be alone.</HI></ITEM>
<ITEM>3. A determination, <HI>I will make an help meet for him.</HI></ITEM>
</LIST>
<P>In the fir&s;t, there's a Maje&s;ty propo&s;ed.</P>
<P>In the &s;econd, there's a malady pre&s;ented.</P>
<P>In the third, there's a remedy provided.</P>
<P>Once more let me put the&s;e grapes into the pre&s;&s;e.</P>
<LIST>
<ITEM><PB REF="6">1. The Soveraignne&s;&s;e of the expre&s;&s;ion, <HI>and the Lord God &s;aid.</HI></ITEM>
<ITEM>2. The &s;olitarine&s;&s;e of the condition, <HI>'tis not good, &amp;c.</HI></ITEM>
<ITEM>3. The &s;utablene&s;&s;e of the pro|vi&s;ion, <HI>I will make, &amp;c.</HI></ITEM>
</LIST>
<P>In the fir&s;t, there's the worth of <HI>veracity.</HI></P>
<P>In the &s;econd, there's the want of <HI>&s;ociety.</HI></P>
<P>In the third, there's the work of <HI>divinity.</HI></P>
<P>Of the&s;e in their order.</P>
<P>And fir&s;t of the fir&s;t.</P>
<P>For the fir&s;t. The Soveraignne&s;&s;e of the expre&s;&s;ion, <HI>and the Lord God &s;aid.</HI></P>
<P><HI>Luke</HI> 1. 70. As he &s;pake by the mouth of his Prophets. In other Scriptures he u&s;ed their mouths, but in this he makes u&s;e of his own: they were the Organs, and he the Breath; the early &s;treames, and he the Fountain. How he &s;pake 'tis hard to be &s;poken, whe|ther
<PB N="14" REF="7">
eternally, or internally, or ex|ternally. <HI>Quomodo non e&s;t quod quoeramus, &s;ed potius quid dixerit in|telligamus,</HI><NOTE PLACE="marg">Bern.</NOTE> we are not to enquire to the manner of &s;peaking, but to the matter that's &s;poken, which leads me like a directing &s;tarre from the Suburbs to the City, from the Porch to the Palace, from the Founder of the Mine, to the Trea|&s;ure that is in it, <HI>it is not good, &amp;c.</HI></P>
<LIST>
<HEAD>In which you have two things.</HEAD>
<ITEM>1. The &s;ubject.</ITEM>
<ITEM>2. The predicate.</ITEM>
</LIST>
<P>The &s;ubject, <HI>man alone.</HI></P>
<P>The predicate, <HI>'tis not good, &amp;c.</HI></P>
<P>Fir&s;t, the &s;ubject, <HI>man alone,</HI> take this in two branches.</P>
<LIST>
<ITEM>1. As it is limited to one man.</ITEM>
<ITEM>2. As it is lengthened to all men.</ITEM>
</LIST>
<P><PB N="15" REF="7">Fir&s;t, as 'tis limited to one man, and &s;o it is taken particularly, man for the fir&s;t man. When all other creatures had their mates, <HI>Adam</HI> wanted his: Though he was the Emperour of the Earth, and the Admiral of the Seas, yet in Para|di&s;e without a companion, though he was truly happy, yet he was not fully happy; Though he had e|nough for his board, yet he had not enough for his bed; Though he had many creatures to &s;erve him, yet he wanted a creature to &s;o|lace him; when he was compoun|ded in Creation, he mu&s;t be com|pleated by conjunction; when he had no &s;inne to hurt him, then he mu&s;t have a wife to help him; <HI>It is not good that man &s;hould be a|lone.</HI></P>
<P>Secondly, as it's lengthned to all men, and &s;o it's taken univer|&s;ally, <HI>Heb. 13. 4. Marriage is ho|norable unto all,</HI> not only <GAP DESC="foreign">,
<PB N="46" REF="8">
but <GAP DESC="foreign">. It's not onely warran|table, but honourable. The whole Trinity hath con&s;pired toge|ther to &s;et a Crown of glo|ry upon the head of Matrimo|ny.</P>
<P N="1">1. God the Father: Marriage was a Tree planted within the walls of Paradi&s;e, this flower fir&s;t grew in Gods garden.</P>
<P N="2">2. The Sonne: Marriage is a chri&s;tal-gla&s;&s;e wherein Chri&s;t and the Saints do &s;ee each others faces.</P>
<P N="3">3. The Holy Gho&s;t by his over|&s;hadowing of the ble&s;&s;ed Virgin. Well might the world when it &s;aw her pregnancie, &s;u&s;pect her Virgini|ty, but her Matrimonial condition was a grave to that &s;u&s;pition; with|out this, her innocency had not prevented her infamy; &s;he needed a &s;hield to defend that cha&s;tity a|broad, which was kept inviolable at home.</P>
<P><PB N="17" REF="8">Too many have not worth e|nough to pre&s;erve their virginity, have yet will enough to cover their uncha&s;tity; turning the medicine of frailty into the mantle of filthi|ne&s;&s;e. Certainly &s;he is mad that cuts off her legge to get her a crutch, or that venomes her face to weare a mask.</P>
<P>Saint <HI>Paul</HI> makes it one of the Characters of tho&s;e that &s;hould ca|&s;hiere the faith, 1&punc; <HI>Tim.</HI> 4. 3. Not to forbear marriage, which may be lawful, but to forbid, it which is &s;inful.</P>
<P>One of the Popes of <HI>Rome,</HI> &s;prinkles this unholy drop upon it, <HI>carnis polutionem &amp; im|munditiem.</HI></P>
<P>It's &s;trange, that that &s;hould be a pollution, which was in&s;tituted before corruption; or that impuri|ty, which was ordained in the &s;tate of innocency; or that they &s;hould make that be to a &s;inne
<PB N="18" REF="9">
which they make to be a Sacra|ment.</P>
<P>But a Ba&s;tard may be laid at the door of cha&s;tity; and a leaden crown &s;et upon a golden head.</P>
<P><HI>Bellarmine</HI> that mighty <HI>Atlas</HI> of the Papal power blowes his &s;tinking breath upon it, &s;aying, better were it for a Prie&s;t to defile him&s;elf with many Harlots, than to be married to one wife. The&s;e children of the purple-whore preferre their Mo|na&s;teries before our Marriages; a concubine before a companion. They u&s;e too many for their lu&s;ts, to choo&s;e any for their love; Their tables are &s;o largely &s;pread, that they can't feed upon one di&s;h.</P>
<P>As for their exalting of a Virgin|&s;tate, it's like him that commended fa&s;ting when he had fill'd his belly.</P>
<P>Who knowes not that Virginity is a pearle of &s;parkling lu&s;tre? But
<PB N="19" REF="9">
can't the one be &s;et up, without the other be thrown down? will no ob|lation pacifie the former, but the demoli&s;hing of the latter? Though we find many enemies to the choice of marriage, yet it's rare to finde a|ny enemies to the u&s;e of marriage. They would pick the lock that want the key, and pluck the fruit that do not plant the Tree.</P>
<P>The Hebrewes have a &s;aying, <HI>He is not a man that hath not a woman.</HI></P>
<P>Though they clime too high a bough; yet it's to be feared that &s;uch fle&s;h is full of imperfection that is not tending to propagation; Though man alone may be good, yet it is not good that the man &s;hould be alone; whichleads me from the &s;ubject to the predicate. <HI>It is not good, &amp;c.</HI></P>
<P><HI>Non bonum</HI> is not in this place as <HI>malum,</HI> but <HI>bonum e&s;t hone&s;tum utile jucundum.</HI></P>
<P><PB N="20" REF="10">Now it is not good that man &s;hould be in a &s;ingle con|dition, upon a threefold con&s;ide|ration.</P>
<P>1. In re&s;pect of &s;inne, which would not el&s;e be prevented. Mar|riage is like water, to quench the &s;parkes of lu&s;ts fire, 1 <HI>Cor. 7. 2. Neverthele&s;se to avoid fornication, let every one have his own wife, &amp;c.</HI> Man needed no &s;uch phy&s;ick when he was in perfect health. Temp|tations may break natures be&s;t fence and lay it's Paradi&s;e wa&s;te, but a &s;ingle life is a pri&s;on of unruly de|&s;ires, which is daily attempted to be broken open.</P>
<P>Some indeed force them&s;elves to a &s;ingle life meerely to avoid the charges of a married &s;tate; they had rather fry in the grea&s;e of their own &s;en&s;uality, than extingui&s;h tho&s;e flames with an allowed remedy; <HI>It's better to marry, than to burn;</HI> to be lawfully coupled, than
<PB N="21" REF="10">
to be lu&s;tfully &s;corched. It's be&s;t feeding the&s;e flames with ordinare fewel.</P>
<P>2. 'Tis not good in re&s;pect of mankinde, which then would not be propagated. The Roman Hi&s;to|rian relating the ravi&s;hing of the Sa|bine women, excu&s;ed it thus: <HI>Res exat unius aetatis populus virorum,</HI> without them mankinde would fall from the earth and peri&s;h. Mar|riages do turne mutability into the image of eternity; it &s;prings up new buds, when the old are withered. It's a greater honour for a man to be the father of one &s;onne, than to be the Ma&s;ter of many &s;ervants. With|out a wife, children can't be had lawfully; without a good wife children can't be had comfortably. Man and woman as the &s;tock and the &s;cien, being grafted in marriage, are trees bearing fruit to the world.</P>
<P>Saint <HI>Augu&s;tine</HI> &s;ayes, this
<PB N="22" REF="11">
pair is, <HI>primum par &amp; fundamentum omnium, &amp;c.</HI></P>
<P>They are the fir&s;t linck of hu|mane &s;ociety to which all the re&s;t are joyned. Mankinde had long ago decayed and been like a Taper fall'n into the &s;ocket, if tho&s;e breaches which are made by mor|tality were not repaired by Matri|mony.</P>
<P>3. 'Tis not good in regard of the Church, which could not then have been expatiated. Where there is no generation, there can be no regeneration:</P>
<P>Nature makes us Creatures, before Grace makes us Chri|&s;tians.</P>
<P>If the loines of men had been le&s;&s;e fruitfull, the death of Chri&s;t would have been le&s;&s;e &s;uc|ce&s;&s;eful.</P>
<P>It was a witty que&s;tion that one put to him that &s;aid, marriages fills the earth, but virginity
<PB N="23" REF="11">
fills the heavens. How can the heavens be full, if the earth be empty?</P>
<P>Had <HI>Adam</HI> lived in Innocency without Matrimony, there would have been no &s;ervants for God in the Church Militant, nor no Saint with God in the Church Trium|phant. But I will not &s;inke this Ve&s;&s;el by the over-burdening of it, nor pre&s;&s;e this truth to death by laying too great a load upon its &s;houlders.</P>
<P>There is one knot which I mu&s;t unty before I make a farther progre&s;&s;e, 1 <HI>Corinthians 7. 1. It is good for a man not to touch a wo|man.</HI></P>
<P>Doth all the Scriptures proceed out of the &s;ame mouth, and do they not all &s;peak the &s;ame truth&punc; the God of unity will not indite di&s;cord, and the God of verity cannot a&s;&s;ert fal&s;ehood. If good and evil be contraries, how contrary then are
<PB N="24" REF="12">
the&s;e Scriptures? Either <HI>Mo&s;es</HI> mi&s;|takes God, or <HI>Paul</HI> mi&s;takes <HI>Mo&s;es</HI> about the point of mar|riage.</P>
<P>To which I &s;hall give a double an&s;wer.</P>
<P N="1">1. There is a publick and a pri|vate good. In re&s;pect of one man it may be good not to touch a wo|man, but in re&s;pect of all. So it is not good that the man &s;hould be a|lone.</P>
<P N="2">2. <HI>Mo&s;es</HI> &s;peaks of the &s;tate of man created, <HI>Paul</HI> of the &s;tate of man corrupted: now that which by in&s;titution was a mercy, may by corruption become a mi&s;ery; as pure water is tainted by running through a miry channel; or as the Sunne-beames recieves a tincture by &s;hining through a coloured gla&s;&s;e. There's no print of evil in the world, but &s;inne was the &s;tamp that made it. They which &s;eek nothing but weal in its commi&s;&s;ion,
<PB N="25" REF="12">
will finde nothing but woe in the conclu&s;ion. Which leades me from the &s;olitarine&s;&s;e of the conditi|on, <HI>man alone,</HI> to the &s;utablene&s;&s;e of the provi&s;ion, <HI>I will make her an help meet for him.</HI></P>
<P>In which you have two parts,
<LIST>
<ITEM>1. The Agent, <HI>I will make.</HI></ITEM>
<ITEM>2. The Object, <HI>a help.</HI></ITEM>
</LIST></P>
<P>Fir&s;t, The Agent, <HI>I will make.</HI></P>
<P>We can't build a hou&s;e without tooles, but the Trinity is at li|berty.
<Q>Dic verbum tantum.</Q>
To Gods omni&s;cience there's nothing invi&s;ible, and to Gods omnipotence there's nothing im|po&s;&s;ible.</P>
<P>We work by hands without, but he workes without hands. He that made man meet
<PB N="26" REF="13">
for help, makes a meet help for man.</P>
<P>Marriages are con&s;ented above, but con&s;ummated below. <HI>Prov.</HI> 18. 22. Though man wants &s;up|ply, yet man cannot &s;upply his wants. <HI>James 1. 17. Every good and perfect gift comes from a|bove, &amp;c.</HI> A wife though &s;he be not a perfect gift, yet &s;he is a good gift. The&s;e beames are dar|ted from the Sunne of righteou&s;|ne&s;&s;e.</P>
<P>Ha&s;t thou a &s;oft heart? it's of Gods breaking: Ha&s;t thou a &s;weet wife? &s;hee's of Gods ma|king.</P>
<P>Let me draw up this ex|pre&s;&s;ion with a double applica|tion.</P>
<P N="1">1. When thou laye&s;t out for &s;uch a good on earth, look up to the God of heaven. Let him make thy choice for thee who hath made his choice of thee. Look a|bove
<PB N="27" REF="13">
you before you look about you. Nothing makes up the hap|pine&s;&s;e of a married condition like the holine&s;&s;e of a mortified di&s;po|&s;ition. Account not tho&s;e the mo&s;t worthy, that are the mo&s;t wealthy. Art thou matched to the Lord? match in the Lord, How happy are &s;uch marriages where Chri&s;t is at the Wedding&punc; Let none but tho&s;e who have found favour in Gods eyes, finde favour in yours.</P>
<P N="2">2. Give God the Tribute of your gratulation for your good companions. Take heed of pay|ing your rent to a wrong Landlord. When you ta&s;te of the &s;treame, re|flect on the &s;pring that feeds it. Now thou ha&s;t foure eyes for thy &s;peculation, foure hands for thy o|peration, foure feet for thy ambu|lation, and foure &s;houlders for thy &s;u&s;tentation. What the &s;inne a|gain&s;t the Holy Gho&s;t is in point
<PB N="28" REF="14">
of divinity, that is unthankfulne&s;&s;e in point of morality; an offence un|pardonable. Pity it is but that Moon &s;hould be ever in an Eclip&s;e that will not acknowledge her beames to be borrowed from the Sunne. He that prai&s;es not the giver, prizes not the gift, and &s;o I pa&s;&s;e from the Agent to the Ob|ject, <HI>a help.</HI></P>
<P>She mu&s;t be &s;o much, and no le&s;&s;e, and &s;o much, and no more. Our ribs were not ordained to be our Rulers. They are not made of the head to claim &s;uperiority, but out of the &s;ide to be content with equality. They de&s;ert the Au|thor of nature, that invert the or|der of nature. The woman was made for the mans comfort, but the man was not made for the wo|mans command. Tho&s;e &s;houlders a&s;pire too high, that content not them&s;elves with a roome below their head. It's between a man
<PB N="29" REF="14">
and his wife in the hou&s;e, as it is between the Sunne and the Moone in the heavens, when the greater light goes down, the le&s;&s;er light gets up; when the one ends in &s;etting, the other beginnes in &s;hining. The wife may be a Soveraigne in her hu&s;|bands ab&s;ence, but &s;he mu&s;t be &s;ubject in her husbands pre|&s;ence. As <HI>Pharaoh</HI> &s;aid to <HI>Jo|&s;eph,</HI> &s;o &s;hould the husband &s;ay to his wife, <HI>Gene&s;is</HI> 41. 40. Thou &s;halt be over my hou&s;e, and according to thy word &s;hall all my people be ruled, onely in the Throne will I be greater than thou. The body of that Hou&s;hould can never make any good motion, who&s;e bones are out of place. The Woman mu&s;t be a helpe to the man in the&s;e foure things.</P>
<LIST>
<ITEM><PB N="30" REF="15">1. To his Piety.</ITEM>
<ITEM>2. To his Society.</ITEM>
<ITEM>3. To his Progeny.</ITEM>
<ITEM>4. To his Pro&s;perity.</ITEM>
</LIST>
<P>To his Piety by the ferventne&s;&s;e of her excitati|on.</P>
<P>To his Society by the fragrantne&s;&s;e of her conver&s;a|tion.</P>
<P>To his Progeny by the fruitfulne&s;&s;e of her education.</P>
<P>To his Pro&s;perity by the faithfulne&s;&s;e of her pre&s;erva|tion.</P>
<P N="1">1. To his Piety by the fer|ventne&s;&s;e of her excitation, 1 <HI>Pet.</HI> <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="OXF" EXTENT="1 letter">. 7.</P>
<P>Husband and wife &s;hould be as the two milch-kine which were coupled together to carry the Arke of God; or as the two Cherubims that look't one upon a|nother, and both upon the Mer|cy-Seat; or as the two tables
<PB N="31" REF="15">
of &s;tone, on each of which were engraven the Lawes of God. In &s;ome families married per&s;ons are like <HI>Jeremiah's</HI> two baskets of figges, one very good, the other very evil&punc; or like fire and water, whil'&s;t the one is flaming in devotion, the other is freezing in corruption. There is a twofold hindrance of holine&s;&s;e; fir&s;t, of the right &s;ide; &s;econdly, on the left; on the right &s;ide when the wife would run in Gods way, the husband will not let her go: when the fore-hor&s;e in a teame will not draw, he wrongs all the re&s;t; when the General of an Army forbids a Martch, all the Souldiers &s;tand &s;till. Some|times on the left; How did <HI>Solomons</HI> Idolatrous wifes draw away his heart from heaven? A &s;inning wife was Satans fir&s;t ladder, by which he &s;caled the walls of Paradi&s;e and took a|way
<PB N="32" REF="16">
the Fort-Royal of <HI>Adams</HI> heart from him. Thus &s;he that &s;hould have been the helpe of his fle&s;h, was the hurt of his Faith: His natures under-prop|per, becomes his graces under|miner; and &s;he that &s;hould be a Crown on the head, is a cro&s;&s;e on the &s;houlders. The wife is often to the husband as the ivy is to the oak, which drawes away his &s;ap from him.</P>
<P N="2">2. A help to his &s;ociety by the fragrantne&s;&s;e of her conver|&s;ation.</P>
<P>Man is an affectionate crea|ture, now the womans behavi|our &s;hould be &s;uch towards the man, as to requite his affection by increa&s;ing his delectation. That the new-borne-love may not be bla&s;ted, as &s;oon as it's blo&s;&s;omed; that it may not be ruined before it be rooted. A Spou&s;e &s;hould carry her &s;elfe &s;o
<PB N="33" REF="16">
to her husband as not to di|&s;turb his love by her contenti|on, nor to de&s;troy his love by her alienation. Husband and wife &s;hould be like two candles burning together, which makes the hou&s;e more light&s;ome, or like two fragrant flowers bound up in one No&s;egay that aug|ments it's &s;weetne&s;&s;e; or like two well tuned in&s;truments, which &s;ounding together, makes the more melodious mu&s;ick. Husband and wife, what are they but as two &s;prings meeting, and &s;o joyning their &s;treames that they make but one cur|rant? It's an unplea&s;ing &s;pe|ctacle to view any Con|tention in this Conjuncti|on.</P>
<P N="3">3. To his Progeny by the fruitfulne&s;&s;e of her education, that &s;o her children in the fle&s;h may be Gods children in the
<PB N="34" REF="17">
Spirit, 1 <HI>Samuel 1. 11. Han|na</HI> &s;he vowes if the Lord will give her a Sonne by bearing him, &s;he will returne that &s;on to the Lord by &s;erving him. A Spou&s;e &s;hould be more care|ful of her childrens breeding, than &s;he &s;hould be fearful of her childrens bearing. Take heede la&s;t the&s;e flowers grow in the Devils Garden. Though you bring them out in corruption, yet do not bring them up to damnation. Tho&s;e are not Mo|thers, but Mon&s;ters, that whil'&s;t they &s;hould be teaching their children the way to heaven with their lips, are leading them the way to hell with their lives.</P>
<P>Good education is the be&s;t livery you can give them living, and it's the be&s;t Legacy you can leave them dying. You let out your cares to make them great,
<PB N="35" REF="17">
O lift up your prayers to make them good; That before you dye from them, you may &s;ee Chri&s;t live in them.</P>
<P>Whil'&s;t the&s;e Twigges are greene and tender, they &s;hould be bowed towards God. Chil|dren and Servants are in a Fa|mily, as Pa&s;&s;engers are in a Boat; husband and wife they are as a paire of Oares, to row them to their de&s;ired Haven. Let the&s;e &s;mall pieces of Timber be hewed, and &s;quared for the Caele&s;tial building. By putting a Scepter of Grace into their hands, you will &s;et a Crown of glo|ry upon their heads.</P>
<P N="4">4. A helpe to his Pro&s;|perity by her faithful pre|&s;ervation, being not a Wan|drer abroad, but a Worker at home.</P>
<P>One of the Antients &s;peakes
<PB N="36" REF="18">
excellently; She mu&s;t not be a Field-Wife like <HI>Dinah,</HI> nor a Street-Wife like <HI>Thamar,</HI> nor a Window-Wife like <HI>Jeza|bel.</HI></P>
<P><HI>Phideas</HI> when he drew a wo|man, painted her &s;itting under a Snaile-&s;hell, that &s;he might imitate that little Creature that goes no further than it can carry it's hou&s;e upon it's head.</P>
<P>How many women are there that are not labouring Bees, but idle Drones; that take up a roome in the Hive, but bring no Honey to it; that are Moths to their husbands E|&s;tates; &s;pending, when they &s;hould be &s;paring? As the man's part is to provide in|du&s;trou&s;ly, &s;o the womans is to pre&s;erve di&s;creetly; the one mu&s;t not be carele&s;ly wanting, the other mu&s;t not be cau&s;le&s;ly
<PB N="37" REF="18">
wa&s;ting: the man mu&s;t be &s;eeking with diligence, the wo|man mu&s;t be &s;aving with provi|dence. The Cock and the Hen both &s;crape together in the du&s;t|heap to pick up &s;omething for their little chickens.</P>
<P>To winde up this on a &s;hort bottome.</P>
<P N="1">1. If the Woman be a helpe to the man, then let not the man ca&s;t dirt on the Woman.</P>
<P><HI>Secundus</HI> being asked his o|pinion of a Woman, &s;peakes thus, <HI>Viri naufragium domus tempe&s;tas, quietis impedimen|tum, &amp;c.</HI> But &s;urely he was a Mon&s;ter, and not a man, fitter for a Tombe to bury him, than a wombe to beare him.</P>
<P>Some have &s;tiled them to be,
<Q><LG>
<L><PB N="38" REF="19">Like Clouds in the Sky.</L>
<L>Like Motes in the Sun.</L>
<L>Like Snuffs in the Candle.</L>
<L>Like Weeds in the Garden.</L>
</LG></Q></P>
<P>It is not good to play the Butcher with that naked Sex that hath no armes but for imbraces. A Preacher &s;hould not be &s;ilent for tho&s;e who are &s;ilenced from preaching; becau&s;e they are the weaker Ve&s;&s;els, &s;hall they be broken all to pieces? Thou that &s;aye&s;t women are evil, it may be thy expre&s;&s;ion flowes from thy experience; but I &s;hall never take that Mariner for my Pi|lot, that hath no better know|ledge than the &s;plitting of his own Ship. Wilt thou con|demne the frame of all for the faults of one? as if it were true Logick, becau&s;e
<PB N="39" REF="19">
&s;ome are evil, therefore none are good. He hath ill eyes that di&s;daines all objects. To bla&s;t thy helper, is to blame thy Maker. In a word, we took our ri&s;e from their bowels, and may take our re&s;t in their bo&s;omes.</P>
<P N="2">2. Is the woman to be a helpe to the man? Then let the man be a helpe to the wo|man. What makes the&s;e Deb|tors be &s;uch ill Pay-Ma&s;ters? but becau&s;e they look at what is owing to them, but not at what is owing by them. If thou would&s;t have thy wifes re|verence, let her have thy re|&s;pect. To force a feare from this relation, is that which nei|ther befits the husbands authori|ty to enjoyne, nor the wifes duty to performe. A wife mu&s;t not be &s;harply driven, but &s;weetly drawn. Compa&s;&s;ion may
<PB N="40" REF="20">
bend her, but compul&s;ion will break her. Husband and Wife &s;hould act towards each o|ther with con&s;ent, not by con|&s;traint.</P>
<P>There are foure things wherein the husband is to be a meet help to the wife.</P>
<P N="1">1. In his protecting of her from injuries. It's well ob&s;erved by one, that the rib, of which woman was made, was taken from under the mans arme: as the u&s;e of the arme is to keep off blowes from the body, &s;o the office of the husband is to ward off blowes from the wife: The wife is the husbands Trea&s;ury, and the husband &s;hould be the wifes Armory. In darkne&s;&s;e he &s;hould be her Sun for direction; in danger he &s;hould be her &s;hield for pro|tection.</P>
<P N="2">2. In his providing for her
<PB N="41" REF="20">
nece&s;&s;ities. The husband mu&s;t com|municate maintenance to the wife, as the head conveyes influence to the members; Thou mu&s;t not be a Drone, and &s;he a Drudge. A man in a married e&s;tate is like a Chamberlaine in an Inne, there's knocking for him in e|very roome. Many per&s;ons in this condition, wa&s;te that e&s;tate in Luxury, which &s;hould &s;up|ply their wives nece&s;&s;ity. <HI>Nec amor viget mariti, nec fides Chri&s;tiani,</HI> they have neither the faith of a Chri&s;tian, nor the love of a husband. It's a &s;ad &s;pectacle to &s;ee a Virgin &s;old with her own money unto &s;lave|ry, when Services are bet|ter than Marriages; the one recieves Wages, whil'&s;t the other buyes their Fetters.</P>
<P N="3">3. In his covering of her in|firmities. Who would trample
<PB N="42" REF="21">
upon a Jewel becau&s;e it's fallen in the dirt? or throw away a heap of wheat, for a little cha&s;&s;e? or de&s;pi&s;e a golden wedge, becau&s;e it retaines &s;ome dro&s;&s;e? The&s;e Ro&s;es have their prickles. Now husbands &s;hould &s;pread a mantle of charity over their wives infirmities. They be ill Birds that defile their own ne&s;ts. It's a great deal better you &s;hould fa&s;t, than fea&s;t your &s;elves upon their failings. Some husbands are never well, lon|ger than they are holding their fingers in their wives &s;ores. Such are like Crowes, that fa&s;ten onely upon carrion. Do not put out the Candle, be|cau&s;e of the &s;nuffe. If the gold be good, allow it <HI>grains.</HI> Hu&s;|bands and wives &s;hould provoke one another to love, and they &s;hould love one another notwith|&s;tanding
<PB N="43" REF="21">
of provocation. Take heed of poy&s;oning tho&s;e Springs, from whence the Streames of your Plea&s;ure flowes.</P>
<P N="4">4. By his delighting in her Society: A wife takes Sanctu|ary, not onely in her husbands hou&s;e, but in his heart. The Tree of love &s;hould grow up in the Family, as the Tree of life grew up in the Garden. They that choo&s;e their love, &s;hould love their choice. They that marry where they affect not, will affect where they marry not. Two joyned together without love, are but two ty'd together, to make one another mi&s;erable. And &s;o I pa&s;&s;e to the la&s;t &s;tage of the text, <HI>a help meet.</HI></P>
<P>A helpe, there's her fulne&s;&s;e;
<PB N="44" REF="22">
a meet help, there's her fit|ne&s;&s;e.</P>
<P>The Angels were too much above him, the creatures were too much below him; he could not &s;teppe up to the former, nor could he &s;toope down to the latter: The one was out of his reach, the other was out of his race: but the woman is a parallel line drawn equal with him: meet &s;he mu&s;t be in three things.</P>
<P N="1">1. In the Harmony of her di&s;po&s;ition. Husband and wife &s;hould be like the image in a looking-gla&s;&s;e that an&s;wers in all properties to the face that &s;tands before it; or like an Eccho that returneth the voice it recieveth. Many marriages are like putting new wine into old
<PB N="45" REF="22">
bottles. An old man is not a meet help for a young wo|man. He that &s;ets a gray head upon greene &s;houlders, hath one foot in the Grave, and a|nother in the Cradle. Yet how many times do you &s;ee the &s;pring of youth, wedded to the winter of old age? A young per&s;on, is not a meet help for an old woman; raw fle&s;h is but an ill plai&s;ter for rotten bones. He that in his non-age, marries another in her dote-age, his lu&s;t hath one wife in po&s;&s;e&s;&s;ion, but his love another in rever&s;i|on.</P>
<P N="2">2. In the Herauldry of her condition. Some of our Euro|pian Nations, are &s;o &s;trict in their junctions, that it's a|gain&s;t their Lawes, for the
<PB N="46" REF="23">
Commonalty to couple with the Gentry.</P>
<P>It was well &s;aid by one: If the wife be too much above her husband, &s;he either ruines him by her va&s;t expences, or re|viles him with her ba&s;e reproa|ches: If &s;he be too much below her husband, either her former condition makes her too generous, or her pre&s;ent mu|tation, makes her too im|perious.</P>
<P>Marriages are &s;tiled matches, yet among&s;t tho&s;e many that are married, how few are there that are matched? Husbands and wives are like locks and keyes, that rather break than open, except the wards be an&s;we|rable.</P>
<P N="3">3. In the holine&s;&s;e of her
<PB N="47" REF="23">
Religion. If adultery may &s;epa|rate a marriage contracted, I|dolatry may hinder a marriage not perfected. Cattle of diver&s;e kinds were not to ingender, 2 <HI>Corinthians 6. 14. Be not une|qually yoked, &amp;c.</HI> It's dange|rous taking her for a wife, who will not take God for a husband. It is not meet that one fle&s;h &s;hould be of two &s;pi|rits. Is there never a Tree thou like&s;t in the Garden, but that which beares forbidden fruit? there are but two channels in which the remaining &s;treames &s;hall runne.
<LIST>
<ITEM>1. To tho&s;e men that want wives, how to choo&s;e them.</ITEM>
<ITEM>2. To tho&s;e women that have husbands, how to u&s;e them.</ITEM>
</LIST></P>
<P N="1">1. To tho&s;e men that want wives, how to choo&s;e them.</P>
<P><PB N="48" REF="24">Marriage is the tying of &s;uch a knot, that nothing but death can unloo&s;e. Common rea&s;on &s;ug|ge&s;ts &s;o much, that we &s;hould be long a doing that which can but once be done. Where one de&s;igne hath been gravel|led in the Sands of Delay, thou&s;ands have been &s;plit up|on the Rock of Precipitance. Ra&s;h adventures, yields little gaine. Opportunities are not like tides, that when one is pa&s;t, another returnes; but yet take heed of flying with|out your wings; you may breed &s;uch Agues in your bones, that may &s;hake you to your graves.</P>
<LIST>
<ITEM>1. Let me pre&s;erve you from a bad choice.</ITEM>
<ITEM><PB N="49" REF="24">2. Pre&s;ent you with a good one.</ITEM>
</LIST>
<P>Fir&s;t, to pre&s;erve you from a bad choice. Take that in three things.</P>
<LIST>
<ITEM>1. Choo&s;e not for Beauty.</ITEM>
<ITEM>2. Choo&s;e not for Dowry.</ITEM>
<ITEM>3. Choo&s;e not for Dignity.</ITEM>
</LIST>
<P>He that looks for beauty, buye a picture.</P>
<P>He that loves for Dowry, makes a purcha&s;e.</P>
<P>He that leapes for Dignity, matches with a Multitude at once.</P>
<P>The fir&s;t of the&s;e is too blind to be directed.</P>
<P>The &s;econd, too ba&s;e to be ac|cepted.</P>
<P>The third, too bold to be re|&s;pected.</P>
<LIST>
<ITEM>1. Choo&s;e not by your eyes.</ITEM>
<ITEM>2. Choo&s;e not by your hands.</ITEM>
<ITEM>3. Choo&s;e not by your eares.</ITEM>
</LIST>
<P>Fir&s;t, choo&s;e not by your eyes, looking at the beauty of the per&s;on. Not but that
<PB N="50" REF="25">
this is lovely in a woman, but that this is not all for which a woman &s;hould be be|loved. He that had the choice of many faces, &s;tampes this Character upon them all; fa|vour is deceitful, and beauty is vaine. The Sunne is more bright in a cleare Sky, than when the Horizon is clouded. But if a womans fle&s;h hath more of beauty, than her &s;pi|rit hath of Chri&s;tianity; it's like poi&s;on in &s;weet-meates, mo&s;t dangerous. <HI>Gene&s;is 6. 2. The &s;onnes of God &s;aw the daugh|ters of men that they were fair, &amp;c.</HI> One would have thought, that they &s;hould rather have look'd for grace in the heart, than for the beauty in the face. Take heed of Inning at the faire&s;t &s;ignes. The Swan hath black fle&s;h under her white feathers.</P>
<P><PB N="51" REF="25">Secondly, Choo&s;e not by your hands, for the bounty of the por|tion.</P>
<P>When <HI>Cato's</HI> daughter was asked, why &s;he did not mar|ry, &s;he thus reply'd; &s;he could not find the man that loved her per&s;on above her portion. Men love curious pictures, but they would have them &s;et in golden frames. Some are &s;o degenerate, as to think any to be good e|nough, who have but goods enough. Take heed, for &s;ome|times the bag and baggage go together. The per&s;on &s;hould be a figure, and the portion a Cypher, which added to her, advances the &s;umme, but alone &s;ignifies nothing. When <HI>Themi&s;tocles</HI> was to marry his daughter, two Suitors courted her together, the one rich and a foole, the other wi&s;e, but
<PB N="52" REF="26">
poore; and being demanded which of the two he had ra|ther his daughter &s;hould have, an&s;wered, <HI>mallem virum &s;i|ne pecunia, &amp;c.</HI> I had rather &s;he &s;hould have a man without money, than money without a man.</P>
<P>Thirdly, choo&s;e not by your eares, for the dignity of her parentage. A good old &s;tock may nouri&s;h a fruitle&s;&s;e branch. There are many chil|dren who are not the ble&s;&s;ings, but the blemi&s;hes of their pa|rents. They are nobly de&s;|cended, but ignobly minded. Such was <HI>Aurelius Antonius,</HI> of whom it was &s;aid, that he injured his Country in nothing, but in being the father of &s;uch a childe. There are ma|ny low in their de&s;cents, that are high in their, de&s;erts. Such was the Coblers &s;onne, who grew to be a famous Cap|taine;
<PB N="53" REF="26">
when a great per&s;on upbraided the meanne&s;&s;e of his original, my nobility (&s;aith he) begins with me, but thy nobility ends with thee. Pie|ty is a greater honour than parentage. She is the be&s;t Gentlewoman that is heire of her own de&s;erts, and not the degenerated off-&s;pring of anothers vertue.</P>
<P>Secondly, to pre&s;ent you with a good choice; in three things.</P>
<P N="1">1. Choo&s;e &s;uch a one as will be &s;ubject to your do|minion. Take heed of yoking your &s;elves with untamed Hei|fers.</P>
<P N="2">2. Choo&s;e &s;uch a one as may &s;ympathize with you in your affliction. Marriage is ju&s;t like a Sea-Voyage, he that enters into this Ship, mu&s;t look to meet with &s;tormes
<PB N="54" REF="27">
and tempe&s;ts. 1 <HI>Corinthians 7. 28. They that marry &s;hall have trouble in the fle&s;h.</HI> Fle&s;h and trouble are married together, whether we marry or no, now a bitter cup is too much to be drunk by one mouth. A heavy burden is ea&s;ily car|ried by the a&s;&s;i&s;tance of others &s;houlders. Husband and wife &s;hould neither be proud fle&s;h, nor dead fle&s;h. You are fel|low-Members, therefore &s;hould have a fellow-feeling. While one &s;tands &s;afe on the &s;hore, the other &s;hould pity him that is to&s;t on the Sea. Sympathy in &s;uffering, is like a dry Hou&s;e in a wet day.</P>
<P N="3">3. Choo&s;e &s;uch a one as may be &s;erviceable to your &s;alvation. A man may think he hath a Saint, when he hath a Devil, but take heed of a Harlot that is fal&s;e to thy
<PB N="55" REF="27">
bed, and of a hypocrite that is fal&s;e to thy God.</P>
<P>Secondly: To tho&s;e women that have Husbands, how to u&s;e them. In two things.</P>
<P N="1">1. Carry your &s;elves too wards them with obedience. Let their power command you, that their prai&s;e may com|mend you. Though you may have your husbands hearts, yet you mu&s;t not have their heads. As you will his love, &s;o you &s;hould love his will. Till the husband leave com|manding, the wife mu&s;t ne|ver leave obeying. As his injunctions mu&s;t be lawfull, to her &s;ubjection mu&s;t be loyal.</P>
<P N="2">2. With faithfulne&s;&s;e. In Creation God made not one woman for many men, nor many women for one man: Every wife &s;hould be to her husband, as <HI>Evah</HI> was to <HI>A|dam,</HI>
<PB N="56" REF="28">
a whole world of wo|men; and every husband &s;hould be to his wife, as <HI>Adam</HI> was to <HI>Evah,</HI> a whole world of men. When a river is divided into many channels, the main cur|rent &s;tarves.</P>
<P>To conclude: Good Ser|vants are a great ble&s;&s;ings: good Children a greater ble&s;|&s;ing: but a good wife is the greate&s;t ble&s;&s;ing: and &s;uch a helpe let him &s;eeke for her that wants one, let him &s;igh for her that hath lo&s;t one, let him take plea|&s;ure in her that enjoyes one.</P>
<EPIGRAPH>
<Q><HI>And the Lord God &s;aid, it is not good, &amp;c.</HI></Q>
</EPIGRAPH>
</DIV1>
</BODY>
</TEXT>
</EEBO>
</ETS>
