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<DATE>2010-11-02</DATE>
<RESPSTMT>
<NAME>Olivia Bottum</NAME>
<RESP>MURP</RESP>
</RESPSTMT>
<ITEM>Did text and markup review.</ITEM>
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<STC T="W">w3327</STC>
<STC T="T">e1182_12</STC>
<BIBNO T="umi">99867143</BIBNO>
<VID>119434</VID>
</IDG>
<TEXT LANG="eng">
<FRONT>
<DIV1 TYPE="title page">
<PB REF="1" MS="y">
<P>WOMEN WILL Have their Will: <HI>OR, Give</HI> Chri&s;tmas <HI>his Due.</HI></P>
<P>In a Dialouge betweene M^r^i^s <HI>Cu&s;tome,</HI> a Victuallers Wife neere <HI>Cripplegate,</HI> and M^r^i^s <HI>New-come,</HI> a Captains Wife, living in <HI>Reformation</HI>-Alley, neer <HI>De&s;truction</HI>-Street.</P>
<LG>
<L>When <HI>Gillian</HI> Turn-tripe, <HI>Jack</HI>-an-apes his Tr&uuml;ll,</L>
<L>And <HI>Cicely</HI> Sly-tricks, <HI>Gol-magogs</HI> great Gull,</L>
<L>Shall once begin to Rule and Sway this Land,</L>
<L>Oh, to tho&s;e Subjects under their Command!</L>
</LG>
<P><FIGURE>
</FIGURE></P>
<P>LONDON: Printed by <HI>E. P.</HI> for <HI>W. G.</HI> 1648.</P>
</DIV1>
</FRONT>
<BODY>
<DIV1 TYPE="dialogue">
<PB N="2" REF="2">
<HEAD>Women will have their Will: <HI>Or, Give</HI> Chri&s;tmas <HI>his Due.</HI></HEAD>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mi&s;tris New-come.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>HOw doe you good Mi&s;tris</HI> Cu&s;tome? <HI>I made hold to give you a <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="UOM" EXTENT="1 word">, to &s;ee how you doe.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mi&s;tris Cu&s;tome,</SPEAKER>
<P>M. New-come, pray draw neare and &s;it downe; come, you are heartily, heartily welcome.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>I &s;hall be a trouble to you, I &s;ee you are bu&s;ie.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>No, no, not &s;o bu&s;ie, but I can &s;pare &s;o much time as to di&s;cour&s;e with you a while; how doth your husband doe? what, is he at home? or where is his Rendezvouz?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>I thank you Mi&s;tris</HI> Cu&s;tome; <HI>he is not at home, nor is his Rendezvouz farre from home, but what, have you a Fea&s;t here &s;udden|ly. that you are &s;o Decking, Adorning, &amp; Trim|ming up your hou&s;e with this fine Ro&s;emary and Bayes? I beleeve there is &s;ome &s;uch doings, is there not?</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>No truely, here <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="UOM" EXTENT="1 word"> no Fea&s;ting, but what doth fall out according to the Time.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>Time; pray now what Time?</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<PB N="3" REF="2">
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>Why, <HI>Chri&s;tmas,</HI> woman; have you for|got it? Indeed the&s;e Wars and Jars would almo&s;t make one forget their Chri&s;ten name, if they were not often called on, to put one in remembrance.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>Iudeed</HI> Chri&s;tmas <HI>can hardly be boa|ten out of many folks heads, which is a very &s;trange thing.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>Not &s;o &s;trange as true, woman; I &s;hould rather, and &s;ooner forget my mother that bare me, and the paps that gave me &s;uck, then for|get this merry Time; nay, if thou had&s;t ever &s;een the Mirth and Jolitie that we have had at tho&s;e Times when I was young, thou would&s;t ble&s;&s;e thy &s;elfe to &s;ee it.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>Nay, undoubtedly I might very well beleeve you without &s;wearing; for &s;urely, there was then exce&s;&s;ive Sports, Pa&s;times, &amp; Revels, that it would make a bodies haire &s;tand an and to heare and &s;ee it.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>Did&s;t thou never heare of my Grand|father? why, he was &s;econd cou&s;in to the Earle of <HI>Dum-belly,</HI> Cup-bearer to <HI>Bacchus,</HI> Knight of the Vapour, and E&s;quire of the Pipe; he was a great Polititian, Monopoli&s;t, and Project-monger; 'tis very &s;trange you never heard of him.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>I have heard of the like, if not the &s;ame; but what of him?</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>What of him; nay, nothing of him, but I &s;ay my Grand-father was his &s;econd cou&s;in.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>Well, and what of that?</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<PB N="4" REF="3">
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>What of that? Nay, by the ma&s;&s;e, I for|got where I was; this 'tis to have &s;uch a &s;curvy head-piece, by Lady I know not what I was going to &s;ay.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>It was about your Grand-father at</HI> Chri&s;tmas.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>O me, O me, 'tis true, 'tis true; I &s;eey on keep your brains warmer then I doe, which makes you &s;o ripe-witted: but for feare I &s;hould forget againe, Ile tell thee; my Grand-father kept a brave hou&s;e at <HI>Chri&s;tmas,</HI> (it makes ones teeth dance in ones head like Virginal-Jacks with the very con|ceit on't) for according to his owne Ver&s;es:)</P>
<LG>
<L><HI>Then Pell Mell murther in a purple hue,</HI></L>
<L><HI>In reeking blood, did &s;laughtering pawes imbren;</HI></L>
<L><HI>Then Cocks Hens, Capons, Turkey, Goo&s;e &amp; Widgeon,</HI></L>
<L><HI>Hares, Conyes, Phe&s;ants, Partridge; Plover, Pigeon.</HI></L>
<L><HI>All the&s;e were ca&s;t into the furious pawes</HI></L>
<L><HI>Of break-neck Powlt'rers, t'undegoe their Lawes:</HI></L>
<L><HI>The Butchers Axe (like great <HI>Achilles</HI> Bat)</HI></L>
<L><HI>Dings deadly downe, ten thou&s;and thou&s;and flat;</HI></L>
<L><HI>Each Butcher by him&s;elfe makes Martiall Lawes,</HI></L>
<L><HI>Cut throats and kills, then quarters, hangs, and drows.</HI></L>
<L><HI>When this is done, then to the Pot and Spit</HI></L>
<L><HI>'Tis totally committed every bit.</HI></L>
</LG>
<P>This I &s;ay, the very conceit of this is enough to make one chew the Cud; for my part, it makes me methinks look two yeares younger then I did before, every time I think on't; indeed they were brave Times, pray God &s;end us &s;uch again, and we &s;hall once more have a merry world.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<PB N="5" REF="3">
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>This was in the times of old, when men were trunck-Ho&s;e.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>Nay, by Lady (God forgive me for &s;wearing) it is not &s;o long &s;ince; for my father kept a brave hou&s;e to at that Time, though he pin|ched for it all the yeare after; he had all the Va|rieties as the earth could afford, for Boyled, Ba|ked, and Roa&s;ted.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>I have &s;&eacute;en but a little of this Sport, yet of that little I have &s;een too much; for it would make the &s;tander by a&s;hamed to &s;ee what the feeder devoures, and what gods they make of their bellies, that one would think that people did take in twelve moneths Provi&s;ion into their panches, or that they did balla&s;t their bellies for a voyage to</HI> Con&s;tantinople, <HI>or to the</HI> Ea&s;t-Indies.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>Indeed all this as you &s;peake is true; for I think verily, if it were not for Dancing, Fri&s;|king, Playing, Toying, <HI>Christmas</HI>-Gamboles, and &s;uch kind of jogging Exerci&s;es to &s;hake it down, it were impo&s;&s;ible they &s;hould devoure &s;o much as they do. Then to &s;ee Cook hot and Cook cold, Cook young and Cook old, Scullion &amp; Scullions mate, all in a &s;weat, like &s;o many Monarchs of the Marrow-bones, Marque&s;&s;es of the Mutton, Prin|ces of the Pyes and Pa&s;ties, Lords, High-Regents of the Spits and Kittles, Barons of the Griddiron, and &s;o be Commanders of the Frying-pannes du|ring this Fe&s;tivall. I &s;ay, to &s;ee them Act their Tragi-comicall Fea&s;ts, would make a man or
<PB N="6" REF="4">womans &s;tomacke elevate its &s;elfe into another temper.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>And all this hurly-burly is for no o|ther purpo&s;e but to &s;top the greedy mouth of this</HI> Leviathan, <HI>or Land-whale,</HI> Chri&s;tmas.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well, 'tis true; but now for&s;ooth <HI>Chri&s;t|mas</HI> mu&s;t be cryed downe, <HI>Reformation</HI> mu&s;t be cryed up; if they were weighed in a ballance, then I know <HI>Chri&s;tmas</HI> would goe downe without cry|ing: but there are &s;ome now adayes, a Crew of Tatter-demallians, among&s;t which the be&s;t could &s;carce ever attain to a Calves-&s;kin-Sute, or a piece of Neck-Beefe and Carrets to dinner on a Sunday, or &s;carcely ever mounted (before the&s;e times) to any Office above the degree of Scavenger or Ty|thing-man at the farthe&s;t; and now for&s;ooth the&s;e Reformado's, upon pretence of Reformation, &s;hall de&s;troy and overthrow the mo&s;t Famous and Commendable Cu&s;tomes of this Land; e&s;pecially for the ob&s;erving and keeping of this Great Day: what, are we for&s;ooth wi&s;er then our fathers, that brought us up, and educated us in this Wi&s;edom? 'Tis a &s;trange thing to me; it can't be beaten in|to my braines, that this can be ju&s;t and hone&s;t.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P>M. Cu&s;tome, <HI>you were be&s;t to di&s;cour&s;e with &s;ome of the&s;e which thinke it not fitting to keep that Time in &s;uch a Revelling way, per|haps and no doubt but they will give you rea&s;ons again&s;t it; &amp; I partly know you to be a rationall <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="UOM" EXTENT="2 letters">man, and that you will permit rea&s;on to bear the &s;way.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<PB N="7" REF="4">
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>Rea&s;on, rea&s;on; as if any man could &s;hew a rea&s;on for not keeping of <HI>Christmas,</HI> you &s;pake as bad as bla&s;phemie: <HI>Chri&s;tmas,</HI> that hath been a Cu&s;tome ever &s;ince the world began, &s;hould now with a puffe of rea&s;on, through the Ram&s;|horne of &s;elfe-conceit, with the walls of <HI>Jericho,</HI> be layd flat to the ground.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>Nay,</HI> M. Cu&s;tome, <HI>although it is a Cu&s;tome very Ancient, yet it is not &s;o old as the world; there you are &s;omewhat mi&s;taken.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>As for the world, I doe not know its age; but for <HI>Chri&s;tmas,</HI> I am &s;ure it was kept in my Grand-fathers great Grand-fathers time, in my Grand-fathers time, &amp; in my fathers time, &amp; none of the&s;e did over think it Super&s;tition or Idolatry; and for my part, I will keep it as long as I am able, let all the powers on earth &s;tand to oppo&s;e it.</P>
<LG>
<L><HI>And though the Fields di&s;-robed be</HI></L>
<L><HI>Of all their Herbs and Fruits,</HI></L>
<L><HI>And the merrie chirping Birds</HI></L>
<L><HI>Are all turn'd tonguele&s;&s;e mutes;</HI></L>
<L><HI>Yet we will &s;ing and merrie be,</HI></L>
<L><HI>Our time in Sport wee'l pa&s;&s;e,</HI></L>
<L><HI>Not weighing how the time &s;hall be,</HI></L>
<L><HI>Nor never how it was.</HI></L>
</LG>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>Then you are re&s;olved.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>I am for that matter, come what will come; ah how (me thinkes) my braines are wher upon the conceit on't; I could wi&s;h now at this Time, that the Valiante&s;t Champion of all the
<PB N="8" REF="5">Round-headed Di&s;putants, to encounter with me in this Argument: I tell thee, If I had the tongue of <HI>Hermes,</HI> who (as my Husband &s;aith) was Pro|locutor to the gods; or if I had as many fingers as <HI>Camaldus,</HI> who was feigned to have an hundred hands. If <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="UOM" EXTENT="1 letter">urging <HI>Neptune,</HI> was converted into Inke, or the rugged-ragged-face of our antient mother <HI>Tellus,</HI> were Paper, yet could not the ver|ball, volubilitie, or elocution of my voyce, nor the agilitie, dexteritie, or facultie of my hands, nor the &s;pacious, unme&s;urable number-le&s;&s;e, white inno|cent Paper; no, none of all the&s;e could either &s;peak, write, or by any other meanes declare the aboun|dance of Arguments, comprehended within the notion of my braine for this unlimited Subject.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>For my part, your Eloquence is too har&s;h for me.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh, I have it by heart; I have heard my Husband, when Gentlemen have been drink|ing here at my hou&s;e, rabble out aboundance of this Fu&s;tian-&s;tuffe, which gives them a great deale of content, e&s;pecially when they have almo&s;t &s;een the Devill in a Frize Jerkin, and every thing look with <HI>Janus</HI> faces.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>Then I perceive by you that you cannot po&s;&s;ibly be wrought on to leave this Old Ceremony, your mind is &s;o unchangeable.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>Unchangeable, can the Black-moore change his skin, or the Sunne alrer his continued cour&s;e? Yet &s;ooner can the&s;e things be done then
<PB N="9" REF="5">my mind changed, for to keep old <HI>Chri&s;tmas</HI> once again.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>It is an old &s;aying, and true, That which is bred in the bone, will &s;eldome or never out of the fle&s;h.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>Thou &s;aye&s;t true; My great Grand-father, my Grand-father, my father, and now my &s;elfe, the&s;e nine and fortie yeares have kept this Fe&s;tivall Time, and this yeare above all the re&s;t ought to be kept, for it is the yeare of <HI>Iubile,</HI> as the Bi&s;hop of <HI>Armagh</HI> &s;aid, when he preached be|fore the King; and I for my part am foure&s;core and one yeares old: So that here is <HI>Iubile</HI> upon <HI>Iubile,</HI> yeare-<HI>Iubile</HI> for my birth, and the year <HI>Iu|bile</HI> for my keeping <HI>Chri&s;tmas:</HI> and therefore &s;hall not we be merry mine owne S. <HI>Nichol.</HI> a <HI>Cod?</HI></P>
<LG>
<L><HI>We will be merry, let all &s;ay what they will,</HI></L>
<L><HI>As we have kept it, &s;o wee'l keepe it &s;till.</HI></L>
</LG>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>What, will you keepe it in &s;pite of Authoritie?</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>What Authoritie? I am &s;ure my fa|ther and mother had the greate&s;t authoritie over me ever &s;ince I was borne, and other authoritie I knew none before I was married, &amp; now it &s;eems I am under a crabbed Husbands authoritie, and be|&s;ides him I will be &s;ubject to none, and I am &s;ure he is as &s;trong for <HI>Chri&s;tmas</HI> as the greate&s;t of our Ance&s;tours; and therefore that Authoritie will not curb me.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>Then it &s;emes you know no other authoritie?</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<PB N="10" REF="6">
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>No by our Lady, not I: neither doe I de&s;ire to know any, for he is crabbed enough of a|ny con&s;cience; if I &s;hould tell you all, you would &s;ay &s;o too: therefore the Devill take all other Authority, if it be no better then a dogged, cro&s;&s;e-graine Devilli&s;h Husband.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>Why, then you count the Parlia|ment no Authoritie?</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>I hope Go&s;&s;ip you are not come to pick quarrells with me in my owne hou&s;e?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>No truely</HI> M. Cu&s;tome, <HI>not I, neither would I have you to entertaine &s;uch a hard con|ceit; for my part I was never &s;o well read in &s;uch Principles, nor ever took any degree at the Vniver&s;itie of</HI> Billing&s;gate.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>Perhaps you are of your mothers tu|tor-age then, for I am &s;ure &s;he was an Oy&s;ter-wo|man of that Colledge for one and twentie yeares, to my owne knowledge; and had her tongue as nimble as an <HI>Italian</HI> Mountebanck.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>What my mother was, is nothing to me.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>But you are a Chip of the Old Block: for what doe you mean, in telling me of the Par|liament?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>I meane the two Hou&s;es of Parlia|ment which have jumped together in one Opini|on, for the putting downe and de&s;troying of this</HI> Romi&s;h <HI>Bea&s;t</HI> Chri&s;tmas; <HI>for which, they are to be commended.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<PB N="11" REF="6">
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>It is a &s;trange thing; let the Devill never &s;o cunningly hide his head, we &s;hall know him by his Cloven foot; nor let the A&s;&s;e never &s;o craftily hide his feet, yet we may know him by his Eares: and how&s;oever covertly you have carri|ed your &s;elfe, I know you, both by head &amp; heels: I &s;ee you are one of the New Faction, and a great Student in <HI>Spittle-Colledge;</HI> but that is nothing to me: yet what do you mean by Calling <HI>Christ|mas</HI> a <HI>Romi&s;h</HI> Bea&s;t? pray explain your &s;elf at large.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>To leave all manner of Circum|&s;tance, which is not pertinent to our Subject in hand</HI>&mdash;</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>By Lady neighbour, I think you are one of the&s;e New Teachers, you handle your mat|ter &s;o excellent; but I trouble you, pray proceed.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>The word</HI> (Chri&s;tmas) <HI>if learnedly weighed in it we &s;hall find matter of dangerous Con&s;equence: As,</HI>
<LIST>
<ITEM>1. <HI>If we con&s;ider what the word or name is,</HI> Chri&s;t.</ITEM>
<ITEM>2. <HI>If we con&s;ider who gave him this name.</HI></ITEM>
<ITEM>3. <HI>Where he was Chri&s;tned, or had the name given him.</HI></ITEM>
<ITEM>4. <HI>By what authoritie they gave him this name.</HI></ITEM>
</LIST></P>
<P><HI>Of which I &s;hall proc&eacute;ed in order, according to my weak abilitie: And fir&s;t for the word;</HI> Chri&s;t|mas <HI>is a word which deciphers a Scorpion, which is a venomous Bea&s;t, which carries a &s;ting at his tayle, and &s;o doth</HI> Chri&s;tmas; <HI>for the word</HI>
<PB N="12" REF="7">Ma&s;&s;e <HI>is a &s;ting in the tayle of that</HI> Romi&s;h <HI>Bea&s;t: Secondly, we mu&s;t con&s;ider who gave him this name, &amp; that was his God-fathers and God-mothers in Bapti&s;me; from whence ari&s;eth this doubtfull que&s;tion? who they were, and that was Pope</HI> Boniface, <HI>Pope</HI> Fireface, <HI>and Pope</HI> Joane; <HI>but by rea&s;on of their non-re&s;idence hers in</HI> England, <HI>the Bi&s;hops took that <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="UOM" EXTENT="1 word"> upon there and &s;tood as &s;hitten Go&s;&s;ips: Thirdly, the place where, this is by the learned held in great Di&s;pute, but I beleeve in his infancie he was &s;ickly; and therefore according to the Church of</HI> Englands <HI>Tenets he was twice Chri&s;tned, that is to &s;ay, at home here in</HI> England, <HI>and afterwards confirmed at</HI> Rome, <HI>the Mother Church of all &s;uch Antichri&s;tian Here&s;ies: but I &s;hall be oder-tedious, therefore I will come to the fourth Devi&s;ion, and that is by what authori|tie they doe the&s;e things: this will take up a great deale of time to open and explaine unto you, if I &s;hould doe it to purpo&s;e; therefore I will omit it, onely certifying you thus much, that there is no power under the Sun that hath any authoritie to erect or build up, neither to de&s;troy and pull down any thing, &s;ave what is in the will of the two Hou&s;es of Parliament.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>That word waked me, indeed I was al|mo&s;t a&s;leep; what, you &s;ay that the Parliament hath power to pull down <HI>Chri&s;tmas;</HI> I pray then what will they put up in the roome on't, Stage-Playes,
<PB N="13" REF="7">Dancing upon the Ropes, &amp; <HI>Hocus Pocus.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>No, it &s;hall be like other Times, not one day higher or lower then another; for it is not for us to &s;tand upon Times and Sea&s;ons.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>Fie upon't, fie upon't, away with't, away with't, I doe not know this Parliament, 'tis no kin to me; If this is the Authoritie you talked of, God deliver me from &s;uch Authoritie; this is wor&s;er Authoritie then my Husbands, for though my Husband beats me now and then, yet he gives my belly full, and allowes me money in my pur&s;e; which as I take it, the Parliament will not; for I remember, men come for money, money, and if I aske them what it is, for they &s;till keepe in one tune like the Cockoe, and tell me it is for the Par|liament; God deliver me from tho&s;e that will neither let us eate our victualls and be merry, though they don't pay for it; nor yet if they could helpe it, leave us any money in our pur&s;es.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>Then you doe not regard the&s;e Pow|ers, let them &s;ay or doe what they will.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>No indeed, not <HI>I;</HI> is it not fitting I &s;hould do what I will with mine own? Cannot I keep <HI>Chri&s;tmas,</HI> ear good Chear, &amp; be Merry, with|out I goe and get a Licence from the Parliament? Marry gap, come up here, for my part Ile be han|ged by the neck fir&s;t; mu&s;t I be &s;ubject to them I never &s;aw in my life? No, no, neighbour, they are mi&s;taken in me; though they &s;et up Scare-Crowes to &s;care &s;ooles withall, they &s;hall not fright me.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<PB N="14" REF="8">
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>Truely neighbour, if the&s;e Powers and Authorities will not make you leave off this Super&s;titious and Idolatrous Fea&s;ting, &s;ome other &s;harper and more rigorous power mu&s;t.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>Mu&s;t, doe you &s;ay? How now, you &s;aid you did not come to Scold, but I &s;ee you will Scold before you goe: I &s;ee now by the Ma&s;&s;e, there is no making hony of a Dogs-turd; that which is bred in the bone will never out of the fle&s;h; your mother I faith hath taught you your lerry, almo&s;t as perfect as &s;he hath it her &s;elfe: mu&s;t make me?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>Yes, mu&s;t make you: I do not goe to eats my words</HI> Gillian; <HI>what I have &s;poken Ile &s;peake againe, I have tho&s;e which &s;hall main|taine me in it, I care not who knows it, and that is the hone&s;t godly partie of the Armie, of which &s;ocietie my Husband is a member; therefore take heed what you &s;ay.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>What have I to doe with the Army, <HI>I</HI> have nothing to &s;ay to the Army.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>But the Armie hath &s;omething to &s;ay to you then: for if no power will tame you, they can and will tame you; were you as fierce as a Lyon, they will new-mould you into batter breeding, and make you leave off your Super&s;ti|tious Fea&s;ting, and turne to Fa&s;ting, if you doe not mend your manners.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>As for the Armie, no doubt but there may be &s;ome hone&s;t men among&s;t them, but all
<PB N="15" REF="8">the world knowes what thy Husband was a poore man which ran out of his Countrey for debt, and afterwards betooke him&s;elfe to be Ma&s;ter <HI>Percyes</HI> Groome, to rub his Hor&s;es heeles in <HI>Drury-Lane;</HI> And now &s;uch as he is, mu&s;t come to tame tho&s;e which are ten times better then them&s;elves; this is a fine world indeed.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. New.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>Hu&s;wife, farewell; I have with &s;i|lence heard things of a dangerous Con&s;equence again&s;t the Parliament and Armie; therefore looke to it, for you &s;hall &s;urely &s;uffer for it; the&s;e things cannot be let &s;lip without &s;evere puni&s;h|ment, either with the deprivation of Life and Libertie, or at lea&s;t the lo&s;&s;e of your Goods.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. Cu&s;t.</SPEAKER>
<P>Devill, doe thy wor&s;t; if they are ho|ne&s;t men they will not doe it: Yet all this Chat|tring &s;hall not put me off from keeping <HI>Christ|mas.</HI></P>
<LG>
<L><HI>For as long as I doe live,</HI></L>
<L><HI>And have a Joviall Crew,</HI></L>
<L><HI>I'le &s;it and Chat, Laugh, and be Fat,</HI></L>
<L><HI>And give</HI> Chri&s;tmas <HI>his Due.</HI></L>
</LG>
</SP>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="epilogue">
<PB N="16" REF="9">
<HEAD>The EPILOGUE.</HEAD>
<LG>
<L><HI>CHri&s;tmas</HI> is the welcomme&s;t time,</L>
<L>That does come through the yeare:</L>
<L>For't maketh many joyfull hearts,</L>
<L>and fills the world with Cheare.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>And though a man a Mizer is,</L>
<L>all the whole yeare be&s;ide;</L>
<L>He now begins to hang up Care,</L>
<L>and let the world goe &s;lide.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Now <HI>Tom</HI> and <HI>Tib,</HI> and Lu&s;tie <HI>Jack,</HI></L>
<L>the time in Mirth doe pa&s;&s;e;</L>
<L>And each in Kitchin or the Hall,</L>
<L>is tow&s;ing of his La&s;&s;e.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>The Cards in every corner &s;tirs,</L>
<L>the Dice doe take no re&s;t,</L>
<L>Likewi&s;e the frisking Dancers, they</L>
<L>are held in great reque&s;t.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>As long as there'there the flagrant fire</L>
<L>doth &s;pit out its fierce flames,</L>
<L>There is no cea&s;ing of their Mirth,</L>
<L>nor period to their Games.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>But now the Log of Logs is burnt,</L>
<L>The Hall-Chimney leaves &s;moaking,</L>
<L>Good folkes farewell, for I will &s;tay</L>
<L>no longer in it poaking.</L>
</LG>
<TRAILER>FINIS.</TRAILER>
<PB REF="9">
</DIV1>
</BODY>
</TEXT>
</EEBO>
</ETS>
