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<DATE>2010-09-05</DATE>
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<NAME>Mona Logarbo</NAME>
<RESP>MURP</RESP>
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<ITEM>Proofed and reviewed as part of batch B100811.pdcc.</ITEM>
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<IDG S="marc" R="UM" ID="A90238">
<STC T="W">O62B</STC>
<BIBNO T="umi">99896815</BIBNO>
<VID>137009</VID>
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<TEXT LANG="eng">
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<DIV1 TYPE="letter">
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<HEAD><HI>Oates</HI> New Shams Di&s;covered: And how they carried it on from Time to Time, Sent in a Letter to his Grace <HI>James</HI> Duke of <HI>Monmouth</HI> from Doctor <HI>Titus Oates.</HI></HEAD>
<P>ABout ten years agone, this Kingdom I &s;ay, was got with Child, with a huge and horrible <HI>Popi&s;h-plot,</HI> it had neither Head nor Foot, but &s;ixty thou&s;and Rumps and Tails, and what d'ye call 'ems. Now Sir about five yeras agone&mdash;her Belly began to Gripe&mdash; &s;he made foul Faces and lookt very black in the Fundament, and fell into Labour with this Plot; and was very ill indeed, &s;he father'd the Plot upon the <HI>Je&s;uits,</HI> and &s;everal other per&s;ons of Quality&mdash;and &s;everal of the <HI>Papi&s;ts</HI> where hang'd and cut in peices and the re&s;t Begger'd and Ruin'd, and all the able Men-Midwives in <HI>England</HI> were &s;ent for, to help to deliver her of this great Belly: Fir&s;t that great &s;tates Midwife, <HI>Shaftsbury</HI>&mdash;who took his turn for four years together, and at the la&s;twith a full Re&s;olution to fetch it out, thru&s;t his hand a little too far, and broke a Leg or an Arm, and was forc'd to run away to &s;ave his Neck. Then was cho&s;e a Coun&s;el of &s;ix of the able &s;tates Mid|wives in the Kingdom to try Experiments, among&s;t whom the Lord <HI>Ru&s;&s;el</HI> &s;corning to be out done; fell to work Tooth and Nail; but being too hot upon't happens to lay hold on the Ar&s;e gut and all be&s;hit his Fingers. Upon this misfortune he fell into a de&s;perate pa&s;&s;ion: and in revenge re&s;olved to cut his Maje&s;ties Throat, but ju&s;t in the attempt his own Head dropt off.</P>
<P>Next comes Midwife <HI>Gray,</HI> but having ju&s;t left his two Wives behind the Curtain which were really Si&s;ters, and he not being able to &s;atsfie one, his Horns on a &s;udden &s;prouted out &s;o much longer than his Arms, that they goar'd <HI>Brittain</HI> into the Belly before he could reach it, which put her into &s;uch a Fit of Torture and Kicking, as frighted him out of his &s;ence and &s;ight of the World, that he was never &s;een &s;ince.</P>
<P>Then comes <HI>E&mdash;x</HI> with &s;erious re&s;erved deliberate gravity: And as &s;oon as he had felt how it was with her&mdash;he pretended to wi&s;h that the <HI>K.</HI> did but know half &s;o much as he did, but feeling the &s;econd time&mdash;&s;he un|mannerly &s;lapt her Tail in his Eye, and pi&s;t in his Face&mdash;which cau&s;ed &s;ome of the Deputy Midwives to laugh at him; which put the Earl into &s;uch a pa&s;&s;ion, that he &s;wore the K. had a hand in it&mdash;for which and other Crimes he was clapt up; and in revenge he played the fool and cut his own Throat.</P>
<P>Then comes thundering <HI>Tickle me Tom,</HI> and he was &s;o fooli&s;h Ra&s;h he'd needs father the Pug before it was Born; he was &s;o in love with the Ba&s;tard that he attempted to out of the Royal Line to make a King on't: which made <HI>Brittain</HI> up with her heel and hit him a dab o'th the Chops and farted in his Face, Gad, what does he do for madne&s;s, but transforms him&s;elf into the Spawn of a Makrel and was never heard of &s;ince.</P>
<P>Next comes Perking <HI>Teckely</HI>&mdash;though a Ba&s;tard he had an undoubted Right to the Imperial Crown of <HI>England,</HI> he laid both his Commi&s;&s;ions, Life, and his expected Crown, that he'd fetch it out the fir&s;t attempt without difficulty. Then he falls to work, Sir, upon the Brat, and got by the back with both hands at once&mdash;and pull'd it with &s;uch an undanted Courage that five hundred Rumps and Tails come off in his hands&mdash;and he lo&s;t his hold, which &s;o inflam'd his Grace, that he turn'd up her Tail, and &s;hewed her Nakedne&s;s to forty thou&s;and of the Rabble&mdash;which made <HI>Brittain</HI> pull him
<PB REF="2" MS="y">
by the Lugs&mdash;and wrapt a Ladys &s;hitten Smock about his Chops and Eyes and &s;ent his Addle-head, Reeling Blindfold from the Land of <HI>Promi&s;e</HI> to <HI>Wap|ping;</HI> where the other Si&s;ter wip'd his Chops&mdash;and he &s;puttered and Hector'd about and threatned Revenge for a while; at la&s;t was lo&s;t in a Mi&s;t; like <HI>Aenvas,</HI> for ingratitude and never was heard of &s;ince&mdash;a great many more made the like attempt, with &s;uch or wor&s;e &s;ucce&s;s&mdash;and &s;ome hang'd, &s;ome in hold, &s;ome turn'd Trimmers and the re&s;t run away: for ju&s;t in the interim when the <HI>K.</HI> was to have been Murthered comes me in&mdash;one <HI>Howard, Rum&s;ey We&s;t,</HI> and <HI>Keeling</HI>&mdash;and undertook to deliver this great Belly&mdash;and upon the word of a <HI>Prie&s;t,</HI> they handled it with &s;uch Dexterity, that in a fort|nights time, they brought out this great Mon&s;ter&mdash;and what do you think it was that made all this noi&s;e-e'en hone&s;t <HI>Presbyter John</HI>&mdash;a Delicate Bade, but &s;o &s;tuft with' <HI>Soiciations,</HI> Noble <HI>Feer's Speech; Holy Leagues,</HI> and <HI>Covenants,</HI> &amp;c. that it was Farting full again: And being <HI>Incubus</HI> it &s;poke as &s;oon as it was Born, and named above &s;ix-Hundred Fathers that were at the getting on't-<HI>Shaftsburys, Tongue,</HI> and my &s;elf, three of the Chief-then drwing its Mouth on one &s;ide; Cry'd, You mu&s;t all turn <HI>Turks</HI> or be damn'd and ever &s;ince I have had a great Ambition to leave off my Hypocritical Jump, and turn <HI>Muffty.</HI> But how do you think this <HI>Brat</HI> &s;erved us at l<GAP DESC="illegible" EXTENT="1 letter">&s;t; for all we have lick't it into five hundred &s;hapes and colours nothing &s;erves its turn but &s;peaking truth with a Pox to the <HI>Ra&s;cal:</HI> and has &s;poiled all our fu|ture proceedings; and we have lo&s;t the Charter into the bargain. But as for Popi&s;h Commi&s;&s;ions, Spani&s;h Pilgrims, Black Bills, French Armies, <HI>Pickerings</HI> Guns, <HI>Teuxbury</HI> Mu&s;tard Balls, Popi&s;h plots <HI>&amp;c.</HI> I received rea|dy mony for them, both from Court and City at once: but now, not|with&s;tanding all my Gaurds, I was arre&s;ted three or four times a week, and have neither Plot nor Commi&s;&s;ion to make a penny on, to help my &s;elf withal; and my <HI>Bums,</HI> like a company of Ravenous Wolves, are ready to tear my heart out. But for <HI>We&s;ts</HI> Blunderbu&s;s, <HI>Wilamans</HI> Cannon, mo&s;t of them are vi&s;ibly taken and Seized by the K. Ju&s;t now my &s;acred per&s;on was &s;eized for twenty pounds due for linnen, which I took up to wipe clean my Bum. To conclude Sir, unle&s;s our party can get to a head, before the K. calls a Parliament, all our Gang mu&s;t of nece&s;&s;ity flie to your Mighti|ne&s;s for refuge&mdash;Therefore I be&s;eech you let the <HI>Sarraglio,</HI> be forthwith made ready for me and my Retinue&mdash;for Bums, I &s;hall carry four&s;core a|long with me, for Whores and Baudes, let there be two thou&s;and made ready: for I intended to out do <HI>Solomon</HI> in <HI>Letchery, Mahomet</HI> in <HI>Bla&s;phmy,</HI> and <HI>Judas</HI> in <HI>Perjury</HI> and <HI>Treachery.</HI></P>
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<P><HI>LONDON,</HI> Printed for <HI>Ab&s;alon Chamberlain,</HI> in <HI>Red-bull Play-hou&s;e-yard</HI> o|ver again&s;t the Pound in St. <HI>John-&s;treet;</HI> near <HI>Clerken-well-green.</HI></P>
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