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<DATE>2011-12-06</DATE>
<RESPSTMT>
<NAME>Judith Siefring</NAME>
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<ITEM>Proofed and reviewed as part of batch Z111110.pdcc.</ITEM>
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<TEXT LANG="eng">
<FRONT>
<DIV1 TYPE="title page">
<PB REF="1" MS="y">
<P><HI>Pray be not Angry:</HI> OR, THE WOMENS <HI>NEW</HI> LAW: <HI>WITH</HI> Their &s;everal Votes, Orders, Rules, and Precepts, to the <HI>London-Prentices,</HI> both in Cheap-&s;ide, Lumbard-&s;treet, Fi&s;h-&s;treet, Gracious-&s;treet, Broad-&s;treet, Fleet-&s;treet, Newgate-market, the Strand, Covent-garden; and all other places what&s;oe|ver, in and about the City of <HI>LONDON,</HI> or Parts adjacent. <HI>LIKEWISE,</HI> Their Rare <HI>Pre&s;idents</HI> and <HI>In&s;tructions,</HI> both to young-men and old, for the choo&s;ing of a good Wife, or vertuous Mi&s;tre&s;s; and how they &s;hall know and di&s;tingui&s;h an hone&s;t Woman from an enticing, and di&s;&s;embling Whore.</P>
<P>Printed according to Order; <HI>Being plea&s;ant for Young-men, pro|fitable for Old-men, and hurtful to none.</HI></P>
<P><HI>London,</HI> Printed for <HI>George Horton,</HI> 1656.</P>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="to the reader">
<PB REF="2">
<PB REF="2">
<HEAD>To the READER.</HEAD>
<P>_MU&s;ing with my &s;elf, in a time of &s;adne&s;s, and having lit|tle plea&s;ure to pa&s;s the time withall, being lately ex|a&s;perated and interwoven in the Thrids of Choller a|gain&s;t &s;ome Wasps of the Female Sex, (or certaine <HI>Lavia, Flora,</HI> and <HI>Lais</HI> Curtizans, three notorious Strumpets,) retained a Re&s;olution, (&s;o &s;oon as I had brake and violated their Sting and Engine) to take Pen in hand, and charactarize the Qualities of &s;uch deceitful and inflaming Angels or Devils, as <HI>Plato</HI> &s;aith, for &s;o he termeth all &s;uch Women, who imitate and tread the &s;teps of <HI>Semiramis</HI> of <HI>Babylon,</HI> that both and after her husbands death, &s;he waxed &s;o un&s;atiable in carnal lu&s;t, that two men at one time could not &s;atisfie her de&s;ire; and &s;o by her un&s;atiablene&s;s, at length all <HI>Per&s;ia</HI> grew full of Whores. But before I proceed further, give me leave to whi|&s;pher one word in your ear, <HI>viz.</HI> Whatever you think privatly, I wi&s;h you to conceal it with &s;ilence, left in &s;tarting up to find fault, you prove your &s;elves guilty of the&s;e mon|&s;trous accu&s;ations, which are here following again&s;t &s;uch la&s;civious <HI>Theodora</HI>'s; and tho&s;e which &s;purn, if they feel them&s;elves touched, prove them&s;elves &s;tark fools, in be|wraying their galled backs to the world; for we intend not to reflect on any, but &s;uch as when they hear it, will go about to reprove it: And as I intend not to &s;peak much of tho&s;e that are good, &s;o &s;hall I &s;peak too little of tho&s;e that are naught; but yet I will not altogether condemn the bad, (unle&s;s they be perfect <HI>Jezabels</HI>) de&s;iring ra|ther to better the one, by paralleling the other: for there is no woman &s;o good, but may amend, knowing that the cleere&s;t River that is hath &s;ome dirt in the bottome; and as Gold is not all of one Picture, no more are women all of one di&s;po&s;ition: But if this &s;awce prove too &s;harp for &s;ome, and the flowers too &s;trong for others, I de&s;ire you with patience to hear the rest; for indeed the best is behind: And far more rarer things, (than either <HI>Iceland</HI> Dogs, or <HI>Venice</HI> Gla&s;&s;es) you may expect from him, who a&s;|&s;ures him&s;elf</P>
<CLOSER><SIGNED>Yours in the way of Hone&s;ty, G. Thorowgood.</SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV1>
</FRONT>
<BODY>
<DIV1 TYPE="text">
<PB REF="3">
<HEAD>Pray be not angry: <HI>Or,</HI> The Womens new <HI>Law.</HI></HEAD>
<P>THE Philo&s;ophers which lived in the old time, their Opini|ons were &s;o hard of Marriage, that they never delighted therein: for one of them being asked, why he married not? he an&s;wered it was too &s;oon: And afterwards when he was old, being asked the &s;ame que&s;tion, he then replyed, It was too late. And as another well &s;aid, Many are the troubles which come galloping at the heels of a woman, which many young men before hand do not think of. The world is not all made of Oate|meal; nor all is not Gold that gli&s;ters; nor a &s;miling countenance is no cer|tain te&s;timonial of a merry heart; nor the way to Heaven is not &s;trewed with Ru&s;hes; no more is the Cradle of ea&s;e in a womans lap. For know; it is an old &s;aying, That he which hath a fair wife, and a white hor&s;e, &s;hall never be without troubles: for commonly a woman that hath a fair face, is ever matched with a cruel heart, and their mode&s;t countenance with mercile&s;s minds: &s;he can both &s;mooth and &s;ooth, and is &s;o cunning in the art of flattery, as if &s;he had been bound Prentice twice &s;even years to the Trade: They have <HI>Syrens</HI> tongue to allure thee, and <HI>Circes</HI> cunning to inchant thee: They bear two tongues in one mouth like <HI>Judas,</HI> and two hearts in one brea&s;t like <HI>Magus;</HI> the one full of &s;miles; the other, full of frowns: they can with the <HI>Satyr,</HI> out of one mouth, blow hot and cold. And what of all this? truly nothing, but to tell thee, That an uncon&s;tant and uncha&s;t woman is better lo&s;t than found, better for&s;aken, then taken; but a con&s;tant, cha&s;t, and vertuous woman, doth far excel the mo&s;t pure&s;t and refine&s;t gold.</P>
<P>A lewd and froward woman is compared to a <HI>Pumice</HI>-&s;tone; for which way way &s;oever you turn it, it is full of holes: Even &s;o is &s;uch a ones heart, for if
<PB REF="3"> &s;he retains love at one hole, &s;he excludeth it at another. O they have delicate tongues, which will ravi&s;h and tickle the ears of giddy-headed young men; &s;o fooli&s;h, that they think them&s;elves happy, if they can but ki&s;s the Dazie where|on their Love did tread: who if the frown, then he de&s;cends pre&s;ently into hell; but if &s;he &s;mile, then he is carryed with Wings up into heaven. Is there not an old &s;aying, <HI>That when a Dog wags his tayl, he loves his Ma&s;ter?</HI> So many think, that if a woman &s;mile on them, &s;he is pre&s;ently over head and ears in love: one mu&s;t wear her Glove, another her Garter, another her colours of delight, and another &s;hall &s;pend and live on the &s;poyl which the getteth from all the re&s;t: Know therefore, <HI>If thou wilt give thy body to the Chyrurgeon, and thy &s;oul to the De|vil, &s;uch</HI> Syrens <HI>are for thy dyet.</HI></P>
<P>It is &s;trange to &s;ee the mad feats of &s;uch Girls; they will now be merry, then again &s;ad; now laugh, then weep; now &s;ick, then pre&s;ently whole: all things which like not them, are naught; and if it be never &s;o bad, if it like them, it is excellent. O it is death for women to be denied the thing which they demand, and yet they will de&s;pi&s;e things given unasked! When a woman wanteth any thing, &s;he will flatter and &s;peak fair; not much unlike the flattering Butcher, who gently claweth the Ox, when he intendeth to knock him on the head. Nay more, they are called Night-Crows, for that commonly in their Chamber they will make reque&s;t for &s;uch toys, as cometh in their heads in the day. Women know their time to work their craft; for in the night they will work a man like Wax, and draw him like as the Adamant doth the Iron: and having once brought him to the bent of her Bow, then &s;he makes reque&s;t for a Gown of the new fa&s;hion &s;tuff, for a Petticoat of the fine&s;t Stammel, or for a Hat of the newe&s;t fa&s;hion: and will never be quiet, if her mind be &s;et upon a thing, till &s;he have it. So that if her husband put her off with delays, then her fore-head will butt full of frowns, as if &s;he threatned to make Clubs Trump, and he (poor &s;oul) ne|ver a black Card in's hand: For with her cruel tongue &s;he will ring him &s;uch a peal, that one would think the Devil were come from hell, calling of him Rogue, Ra&s;cal, Wittal, Sot, &amp;c. &s;aying, &s;he could live without &s;uch a faggot-fac'd hornifi'd Coxcomb, as he, with a wannion to him.</P>
<P>Sure I am, men may live without women, but women cannot live without men: For <HI>Venus,</HI> who&s;e beauty was excellent fair, yet when &s;he needed a mans help, &s;he took <HI>Vulcan,</HI> a club-footed Smith. And therefore if a woman face gli|&s;ter, and her ge&s;ture pierce the Marble Wall; or if her Tongue be &s;o &s;mooth as Oyl, and &s;o &s;oft as &s;ilk, and her words &s;o &s;weet as honey; or if &s;he were a very Ape, for wit, or a baggage of Gold for wealth; or if her per&s;onage have &s;toln away all that Nature can afford, and &s;he be deckt up in gorgeous apparel, then a thou&s;and to one but &s;he will love to walk where &s;he may get acquaintance, and acquaintance bringeth familiarity, and familiarity &s;etteth all follies a|broach; and twenty to one, that if a woman love gadding, but that &s;he will pawn her hone&s;ty to plea&s;e her fanta&s;ie.</P>
<P>Alas, alas! Man mu&s;t be at all the co&s;t, and yet live by the lo&s;s; a man mu&s;t take all the pains, and women &s;pend all the gains; a man mu&s;t watch and till, and look what he getteth in &s;even years, a Wanton Gill will &s;pread it abroad with a fork in one year, and yet little enough to &s;erve her turn, but a great deal too little to get her good will.</P>
<PB REF="4">
<P>What &s;hall I &s;ay more, but as they were by God created, and by Nature for|med, and therefore by policy and wi&s;dome to be avoided; for good things abu|&s;ed, are to be refu&s;ed, or el&s;e for a moneths plea&s;ure, &s;he may hap to make thee go &s;tark naked: &s;he will give the ro&s;t-meat, but &s;he will beat thee with the &s;pit: If thou ha&s;t Crowns in thy pur&s;e, &s;he will be thy hearts gold, untill &s;he leave not a whit of white money: they are like Summer-birds, for they will abide no &s;torm, but flock about thee in the pride of thy glory, and fly from thee in the &s;torms of affliction; for they aym more at thy wealth then at thy per&s;on, and e&s;teem more thy money, then vertuous qualities.</P>
<P>In a word, they e&s;teem of a man without money, as a hor&s;e doth of a fair &s;table without meat.</P>
<P>The&s;e things being wi&s;ely con&s;idered, who would &s;ubmit unto their alluring Angles, and bow at their becks? and who would impoveri&s;h him&s;elf, to enrich &s;uch Harlots, to make them &s;wim in their &s;ilks, and make Gill a Gentlewoman, in&s;omuch that &s;he careth not a peny for the fine&s;t, nor a fig for the proude&s;t: &s;he is as good as the be&s;t, although &s;he have hardly as much hone&s;ty as will &s;erve her own turn, &s;uffering every mans fingers as deep in the di&s;h, as thine are in the platter, and every man to angle where thou ca&s;te&s;t thy <HI>hook,</HI> holding up to all that come, not much <GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="OXF" EXTENT="2 letters">like a Barbers Chair, that &s;o &s;oon as one Knave is out, another is in, a common <HI>hackney</HI> for every one that will ride, a boat for eve|ry one to row in.</P>
<P>Now if thy wealth do begin to fail, then &s;he biddeth thee farewel, and gives thee the <HI>adieu</HI> in the Devils name: not much unlike the Knavi&s;h Porters in <HI>Bri&s;tow,</HI> who will cry
<Q>A new Ma&s;ter, a new; and hang up the Old.</Q></P>
<P>To ma<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="OXF" EXTENT="1 letter">e thee &s;tronge&s;t therefore, to &s;trive again&s;t the&s;e Serpents, it is the Law and Precept of &s;undry mode&s;t women, to all men what&s;oever, To beware of &s;ix <HI>ki<GAP DESC="illegible" RESP="OXF" EXTENT="1 letter">ds</HI> of women, and to take heed that they match not them&s;elves to any one of them; that is to &s;ay, If a woman be never &s;o comely, beautiful of body, &s;ober of countenance, &s;ober of countenance, eloquence in &s;peech, and adorned with vertue, yet they have one ill quality or other, which overthroweth all the re&s;t.</P>
<P>Beware al&s;o how thou matche&s;t unto a <HI>Jezabel</HI> widow, for &s;he will be the cau&s;e of a thou&s;and woes: if rich, then &s;he will govern: if poor, then thou art plagued both with beggery and bondage: If thou &s;hew thy &s;elf &s;paring, &s;he will &s;ay, thou &s;halt not pinch her of that which is her own; and if thou do any thing contrary to her mind, &s;he will &s;ay, her other husband was more kind: If thou chance to dine from home, &s;he will bid thee go &s;up with thy harlots a|broad: If thou go abroad, and &s;pend any thing before thou come&s;t home, &s;he will &s;ay, <HI>A begger I found thee, and a begger thou meane&s;t to leave me.</HI> If thou &s;tay
<PB REF="4"> always at home, &s;he will &s;ay, <HI>Thou art happy thou ha&s;t gotten a wife that is able to maintain thee idle.</HI> If thou carve her the be&s;t mor&s;el on the Table, though &s;he take it, yet &s;he will take it &s;cornfully, and &s;ay, <HI>She once had a husband that would let her cut where &s;he liked her &s;elf.</HI> And if thou come in well di&s;po&s;ed, thinking to be merry, and intreating her with fair words, &s;he will call thee di&s;&s;embling hypocrite, &s;aying, <HI>Thou &s;peake&s;t me fair with thy tongue, but thy heart is on thy Mini|ons abroad.</HI> Be&s;ides this, &s;he will not tru&s;t thee with a hand&s;ome Maid in thy hou&s;e, but mu&s;t have a brended &s;lut, like a Hell-hag, with a pair of paps like a pair of dung-pots; &s;o that if upon ju&s;t occa&s;ion thou throwe&s;t the platters at thy Maids head, &s;eeing thy meat brought in by &s;uch a &s;lut, and &s;o &s;lutti&s;hly dre&s;t, then will thy Widow take pepper in the no&s;e, and &s;tamp, and &s;tare, and look &s;o &s;owr, as if &s;he had come but even then from eating of Crabs, &s;aying, <HI>If thou had&s;t not married with me, thou woulde&s;t have been glad of the wor&s;t mor&s;ell that is here, thou Cornuted Bea&s;t thou.</HI></P>
<P>Loe here's a life, but it is as weari&s;ome as Hell; for if they ki&s;s in the mor|ning, being friends, yet ere Noon are ready to throw the hou&s;e out at window. A &s;ad life, and a mad life! For note, that one having married with a Widow, being one day at a Sermon, heard the Preacher &s;ay, <HI>Who&s;oever will be &s;aved, let him take up his Cro&s;s and follow me.</HI> This mad fellow after Sermon was ended; took his wife upon his <HI>back,</HI> and came to the Mini&s;ter, &s;aying, <HI>Here is my Cro&s;s, I am ready to follow thee whither thou wilt.</HI></P>
<P>Another merry companion having married with a Widow, and carryed her over Sea into <HI>France,</HI> there &s;uddenly aro&s;e a great &s;torm, in&s;omuch that they were all in danger of drowning; the Ma&s;ter of the &s;hip called unto the Mari|ners, and bad them take and throw over-board all the heavie&s;t goods in the &s;hips: This married man hearing him &s;ay &s;o, he took his Widow, and threw her over: and being asked the rea&s;on why he did &s;o, he &s;aid, <HI>That he neverfelt any thing in all his life that was &s;o heavy to him as &s;he had been.</HI></P>
<P>Another having marryed with a widow, and within a while after they were married, &s;he went out into the garden, and there finding her husbands &s;hirt hang clo&s;e on the edge by her Maids <HI>&s;mock,</HI> &s;he went pre&s;ently and hanged her &s;elf, upon a jealous conceit that &s;he took: and a merry fellow asking the cau&s;e why &s;he hanged her &s;elf, and being told that it was for jealou&s;ie, <HI>I would,</HI> &s;aid he, <HI>that all Trees did bear &s;uch fruit.</HI></P>
<P>In a word, there is no woman but either &s;he hath a long tongue, or a longing tooth, <HI>and they are two ill Neighbours, if they dwell together;</HI> for the one will ligh|ten the pur&s;e, if it be &s;till plea&s;ed, and the other will waken thee from thy <HI>&s;leep,</HI> if it be not charmed.</P>
<P>It is &s;trange of what kind of mettal a womans tongue is made, that neither correction can cha&s;ten, nor fair means quiet? For there is a kind of venome in it, that neither by fair means nor &s;oul they are to be ruled. All Bea&s;t by men are made tame, but a womans tongue will never be tame: it is but a &s;mal thing and &s;eldome &s;een, but is often heard, to the terrour and confu&s;ion of many a man.</P>
<PB REF="5">
<P>Some with &s;weet words undermine their husband, as <HI>Dalilah</HI> did <HI>Samp&s;on,</HI> and &s;ome with chiding and brawling are made weary of the world, as <HI>Socrates</HI> and others. <HI>Socrates</HI> when his wife did chide and brawl, would go out of the hou&s;e till all were quiet again: but becau&s;e he would not &s;could with her again, it grieved her the more; for on a time &s;he watched his going out, and threw a Chamber-pot out of a window on his head, <HI>Ha, ha,</HI> quoth he, <HI>I thought after all this thunder there would come rain.</HI></P>
<P>Therefore as a &s;harp Bit curbs a froward Hor&s;e, even &s;o a cur&s;t woman mu&s;t be roughly u&s;ed; but if women could hold their tongues, three to one but men would hold their hands. As the be&s;t metled blades are mixt with Iron, even &s;o the be&s;t woman that is, is not free from faults; the goodlie&s;t Gardens are not free from Weeds, no more is the be&s;t nor faire&s;t woman from ill deeds.</P>
<P>For who was adorned with more beauty then fair <HI>Veni&s;e</HI> in <HI>Cyprus,</HI> and <HI>Rodepe</HI> in <HI>Aegypt?</HI> yet both notorious Strumpets.</P>
<P>It is &s;aid, that the gods them&s;elves did change their &s;hapes, for the love of &s;uch women they lu&s;ted after: <HI>Jupiter</HI> transformed him&s;elf into a Bull, <HI>Neptune</HI> into a Hor&s;e, and <HI>Mercury</HI> into a Goat. Nay, <HI>Samp&s;on</HI> and <HI>Hercules,</HI> for all their great &s;trength and conque&s;t of Gyants and Mon&s;ters, yet the one yielded his Club at <HI>Delanira's</HI> foot, and the other revealed his &s;trength to <HI>Dalilah,</HI> and paid his life for his folly. Was not wi&s;e <HI>Solomon,</HI> and holy <HI>David</HI> overcome by the &s;weet enticements of women? And the great Captain <HI>Holofernes,</HI> who&s;e &s;ight made many thou&s;ands to quake, yet he lo&s;t his life, and was &s;lain by a woman. Wherefore, to avoid the &s;ight many times is the be&s;t Razor to cut off the occa|&s;ion of the evil which cometh by women; for had not <HI>Holofernes</HI> &s;een the beau|ty of <HI>Judeth,</HI> and marked the finene&s;s of her foot, he had not lo&s;t his head by her. If <HI>Herod</HI> had not &s;een <HI>Herodias</HI> daughter dance, he had not &s;o ra&s;hly granted her St. <HI>John Bapti&s;ts</HI> head. Had not <HI>Eve</HI> &s;een the Apple, and &s;o was tempted with the beauty of the Serpent, who (as School-men write) &s;hewed him&s;elf like a fair young-man; but had not &s;he &s;een it, I &s;ay &s;he had not eaten thereof, to her own grief, and many more.</P>
<P>So that con&s;equently, he that lays his Net to catch a fair Woman, he may chance to fall into the &s;prindge which was laid for a Woodcock: therefore I do admoni&s;h young men, and advi&s;e old men; and I coun&s;ail &s;imple men, and I warn all men, that they flye a wicked woman, as from the pe&s;tilence, or el&s;e &s;he will make thee fly in the end.</P>
<TRAILER>FINIS.</TRAILER>
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