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<DATE>2013-08-26</DATE>
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<NAME>Mona Logarbo</NAME>
<RESP>MURP</RESP>
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<ITEM>Proofed and reviewed as part of batch B120811.apex.</ITEM>
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<EEBO>
<IDG S="marc" R="UM" ID="A84909">
<STC T="W">F2190</STC>
<STC T="T">E93_20</STC>
<BIBNO T="umi">99858997</BIBNO>
<VID>155776</VID>
</IDG>
<TEXT LANG="eng">
<FRONT>
<DIV1 TYPE="title page">
<PB REF="1" MS="y">
<P>THE French Mountebank, OR AN OPERATOR Fit for the&s;e pre&s;ent Times.</P>
<P>Being a man of great travell and experience throughout mo&s;t Countries in Chri&s;tendome, and to the great comfort and happine&s;&s;e of this Kingdome lately come to Town, and is ready to &s;hew him&s;elfe a man of Skill, in all particulars hereafter mentioned, to the di&s;tre&s;&s;ed Rich for their Money, and to the Poor for Gods &s;ake.</P>
<P><FIGURE>
<FIGDESC>printer's or publisher's device</FIGDESC>
</FIGURE></P>
<P><ADD>1642 March .21</ADD> <HI>LONDON,</HI> Printed for R. Au&s;tin, and A. Coe. 1643.</P>
</DIV1>
</FRONT>
<BODY>
<DIV1 TYPE="text">
<PB REF="2">
<PB REF="2">
<HEAD>THE French Mountebank, OR An Operator fit for the&s;e Times.</HEAD>
<P>_COnducted by the hand of Providence, me arrived at <HI>Dover</HI> on the fir&s;t of <HI>March,</HI> where me &s;tayed two, tree, foure, and five dayes, exerci&s;ing my faculty in a chari|table way among tee poore Seamans, tee re&s;idue of tee time before I came to this renowned City, me &s;pent for tee mo&s;t part in <HI>Canterbury,</HI> where by rea|&s;on of tee great confluence of People, me was forced to erect a Stage, whereon to pre&s;erve my own &s;elfe from &s;tifling, and the better to pre&s;ent my own &s;elfe and my Rarities to the &s;ight and view of the multitude. Yet for for all this me could take very little money. Me appear|ed every day with my Dwarfe, my Hermaphrodite, and my Monkey, and entertained them <HI>all a mode de France,</HI> with Songs, Anticks, and Ma&s;ques, yet all would not not doe, me could &s;ee but little money.</P>
<LG>
<PB REF="3">
<L>My &s;elfe and my Hermaphrodite,</L>
<L>My Dwarf, and Monkey, all that night</L>
<L>Were very full of &s;orrow:</L>
<L>We did de&s;paire</L>
<L>To take the ayre</L>
<L>In publike on the morrow.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Yet once more we came forth againe,</L>
<L>And had our labour for our paine;</L>
<L>Though me pul'd out rare knacks,</L>
<L>All with one voice</L>
<L>Made a great noi&s;e,</L>
<L>And cri'd we were but Quacks.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Then down me laid my Velvet cloke,</L>
<L>And quickly pul'd out of my poke</L>
<L>Papers from &s;ev'rall lands;</L>
<L>Where they did &s;ee</L>
<L>Wonders of me,</L>
<L>Confirm'd by thou&s;and hands.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>The &s;illy people now beleeve,</L>
<L>And crafty me do laugh in &s;leeve,</L>
<L>To &s;ee them &s;o &s;oon taken:</L>
<L>They money bring</L>
<L>To buy each thing,</L>
<L>Be&s;ides Goo&s;e, Eggs, and Bacon.</L>
</LG>
<PB REF="3">
<P> When me had vented all my Commodities, it was not &s;afe for me to &s;tay long there, yet me be &s;ure if tey do them no good, tey will do them no harme: And now me be newly come unto this famous City of London, and the City of London cannot but confe&s;&s;e them&s;elves very much beholden to me, that after &s;o many yeares travaile, and experience in &s;everall Countries, both Chri|&s;tian, and Pagan, me be plea&s;ed now in the&s;e latter, and mo&s;t knowing daies of mine, to leave wandring, and re|&s;ide here with them.</P>
<P>The rea&s;on why me do &s;hew mine &s;elfe in print fir&s;t is, becau&s;e me be tickled in the conceit by &s;ome, that this is the be&s;t way to make my &s;elfe known unto you, and the &s;etting up of Bils upon Po&s;ts, is the tricks of tee Mountebanke, which me do abhorre.</P>
<P>Imprimis, me do meane to tell you what rare exploits me have done abroad.</P>
<LG>
<L>Me fir&s;t in <HI>Paris</HI> up was bred,</L>
<L>A mender of the Maidenhead,</L>
<L>Where by mine Art I did re&s;tore,</L>
<L>The &s;ound, and eke the Pocky Whore:</L>
<L>And &s;o &s;alve up Virginity,</L>
<L>That none could any fault e&s;pie.</L>
<L>This cal'd me out of <HI>France</HI> to <HI>Spain,</HI></L>
<L>To &s;top up a new open'd Vein,</L>
<L>Me found the Lady &s;ore, and Stradling,</L>
<L>Yet made her go quick, without wadling;</L>
<L>With promi&s;es to make me great,</L>
<L>She would have kept me for this Feat:</L>
<L>But me cri'd Madam pardon me,</L>
<L>For me be bound for <HI>Tartarie,</HI></L>
<L>In ha&s;te, to vi&s;it the great <HI>Cham,</HI></L>
<PB REF="4">
<L> And rectifie his crooked Hamme,</L>
<L>Be&s;ides to &s;hew a piece of Art,</L>
<L>Upon his <HI>Doxies</HI> lower part,</L>
<L>Me made their Tooles &s;o well and right,</L>
<L>They got three Heires all in a night.</L>
<L>The next of my admired workes,</L>
<L>Was done among the cruell <HI>Turkes,</HI></L>
<L>Where to the Fame of me, and <HI>France,</HI></L>
<L>Me mended up a &s;ad mi&s;chance,</L>
<L>The broken necke me firme did &s;et,</L>
<L>Of their then Emperour <HI>Mahomet,</HI></L>
<L>And once me rais'd from death to life,</L>
<L>With Cordials, the <HI>Grand-Seigniors</HI> wife.</L>
<L>Thence me came into <HI>Germanie,</HI></L>
<L>Where were as cunning Knaves as I,</L>
<L>Such tricks me &s;aw, that me did feare,</L>
<L>Mine for that place too &s;hallow were.</L>
<L>From thence to England me &s;oone come,</L>
<L>And here intend to make my home.</L>
</LG>
<P>And now Dukes, Earles, Lords, Bi&s;hops, Knights, Deanes, Prebends, Gentlemen of Englant, &amp;c. and all others, High and Low, Rich and Poore, me do addre&s;&s;e mine &s;elfe to you in all humility. For as much as me do under&s;tand that &s;ince this pre&s;ent Perliament, there hath been many &s;trange and unheard of di&s;ea&s;es, &s;eizing upon certain &s;orts of People, that were in perfect health before, and as yet remaining incureable, me being accu&s;tomed to cure &s;uch di&s;ea&s;es, do undertake the&s;e Maladies follow|ing, and for my better proceeding in the cure when they come to my hands, me joyn to every Mallady &s;ome &s;hort directions for their ob&s;ervation. Though a Parliament (as me do know) be <HI>&s;alus Populi,</HI> the be&s;t meanes conduce|ing
<PB REF="4"> to the health of this Nation, yet as in ill conditioned &s;tomacks, oftentimes the be&s;t Cordials degenerate into an ill nature, and &s;o become as offen&s;ive to the Body, as the ill humours them&s;elves; even &s;o this Parliament, (which God pre&s;erve) though as well a temper'd Cordiall for this langui&s;hing Kingdome as ever was, yet to &s;ome ill humoured Members it hath proved Feavouri&s;h, and &s;et them all on Fire, as <HI>Ie&s;uits, Papi&s;ts,</HI> and <HI>Cavaliers:</HI> and to others as bad as poy&s;on, as to <HI>Church&punc;Stati&s;ts,</HI> and <HI>Mono|poli&s;ts,</HI> tho&s;e Catterpillers of the Common-wealth, &amp;c. So then me being by my proffe&s;&s;ion to cure all di&s;ea&s;es, mu&s;t not be blamed, if me do name all indifferently, and me do &s;ee no rea&s;on why me &s;hould be blamed for name|ing &s;uch of the&s;e di&s;ea&s;es, which me do intend, and pro|mi&s;e to cure, therefore <HI>Sans di&s;simulation,</HI> or Feare, me do proceed.</P>
<LG>
<L>Imprimis, once more; if you know</L>
<L>Of any Citizen does owe</L>
<L>More then he can pay,</L>
<L>Though broken-backt, me him a&s;&s;ure</L>
<L>Me have a medicine will him cure,</L>
<L>Let him break word or day.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Is any Bi&s;hop with a paine</L>
<L>Much troubled in his head or braine,</L>
<L>And would be made lighter,</L>
<L>Me do &s;uppo&s;e that the wor&s;t harme</L>
<L>Comes from his being kept too warme,</L>
<L>Let him throw off his miter.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<PB REF="5">
<L>Hath any been a great whore-ma&s;ter,</L>
<L>And in his age now wants a plai&s;ter</L>
<L>That will do the deed?</L>
<L>Hath any Madam caught the pox</L>
<L>By daily tribute to her box?</L>
<L>She need not purge or bleed:</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>She &s;hall regain her credit well</L>
<L>If &s;he ob&s;erve what me do tell,</L>
<L>And then take what me give her:</L>
<L>No matter who dare to attaint her,</L>
<L>For there are wayes in age to Saint her,</L>
<L>Though ne're &s;o lewd a liver.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Is any troubled with &s;ore eyes,</L>
<L>For lo&s;ing of Pluralities?</L>
<L>Me have a good water:</L>
<L>To cool them, and a mo&s;t rare pill</L>
<L>To purge the humours that are ill,</L>
<L>And feed the greedy matter.</L>
</LG>
<P>The&s;e and many more the Profe&s;&s;our hereof will faithfully performe, he beeing but newly come to town you cannot expect much from him, till longer ob&s;erva|tion hath better acquainted him with the di&s;ea&s;es now raging, and ranging in this Land.</P>
<P>If any de&s;ire to make u&s;e of him in any of the&s;e parti|culars aforenamed, or to make known any other Mal|ladie wherewith they are afflicted, let them repaire to the Phy&s;itiaus Colledge.</P>
<CLOSER>Vive Le Roy.</CLOSER>
<PB REF="5">
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