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<DATE>2009-06-02</DATE>
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<NAME>Mona Logarbo</NAME>
<RESP>MURP</RESP>
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<ITEM>Proofed and reviewed as part of batch B090416.pdcc.</ITEM>
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<BIBNO T="umi">99859111</BIBNO>
<VID>111177</VID>
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<TEXT LANG="eng">
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<DIV1 TYPE="title page">
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<P>A STRANGE VVONDER OR A WONDER IN A VVoman, VVherein is plainely ex|pre&s;&s;ed the true nature of mo&s;t Women.</P>
<P>E&s;pecially of &s;ome emminent Women in this Citie.</P>
<P>Likewi&s;e a plaine di&s;cription of many mad tricks and &s;lights lately performed by a Zealous Si&s;ter which was overcome with the Spirit.</P>
<P>Written by <HI>I. H.</HI> Gentleman.</P>
<P><HI>London,</HI> Printed for <HI>I. T.</HI> 1642.</P>
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<HEAD>A Strange VVonder, OR A VVonder in a VVOMAN.</HEAD>
<HEAD TYPE="sub">Wherein is plainely expre&s;&s;ed the true nature of mo&s;t Women.</HEAD>
<P>_WOemen are admirable Angels, if they would not be drawne with Angells to be come Devills, but to the purpo&s;e gentle eader, I intend to give you a true di&s;|cription of a Woeman in perticular, of all Weoman in Generall, de&s;iring all Iudicious men Silent, Vertuous Mode&s;t, and di&s;creet Woeman to cen&s;ure of me according to my de&s;ert, As for the re&s;t though they let loo&s;e their Tippets, Yea and their
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Toungs too, I vallue it not, For I know that every Gall'd Hor&s;e will kicke and winch. As I am <HI>Tom-tell-troth,</HI> I meane to &s;et the Sadle vpon the right Mare, And as for the fir&s;t, to wit, Mayds when they are cour|ted by their Sweet Hearts.</P>
<P>As thus, a Hand&s;ome Young Man comes to them, and after a Salutation, begin to make knowne his A|morous Sute as followeth.</P>
<P>Sweet Mi&s;tris (or faire Virgine) thinke it not &s;trang that your all Commanding Beuty, has made me be|come a willing Bond&s;lave, to your Sweet &s;elfe, The Sparkling lu&s;ture of your Stare like Eyes, has kindled in me &s;uch an ardent love. That I am a fire to&mdash;ki&s;&s;e you.</P>
<P>Then for&s;ooth, my Squeami&s;h, Mayd, puts one a counterfit coyne&s;&s;e and in &s;tead of a Ki&s;&s;e flapps him in the Mouth with&mdash;pi&s;h fie away Sir, indeed I &s;corne to Ki&s;&s;e, On my Virginity, I cannot enduer this fool|ing and &s;o forth, when inwardly &s;he longs for't, And were &s;he in a Corner in the Darke &s;he would Ki&s;&s;e; and Ki&s;&s;e, and Clipp, and melt into all the formes of Venery that art can devi&s;e, And thers her Hone&s;tie.</P>
<P>Then for the Wives, Ther's &s;carce one good of twenty, if I &s;hould &s;ay Forty, I thinke I &s;hould not lye, for one Scoulds, another Powts, one is Lazy, another Slutti&s;h, a third Proud, a fourth a downe right Drun|kerd, a fift a Title-tatle Go&s;hopp, and &s;o from one to a Hundred, from a Hundred, to a Thou&s;and, from a Thou&s;and to many Thou&s;ands: You &s;hall &s;carce find one that is not Giulty of one abominable Crime or o|ther.</P>
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And yet let them get to the Taverne Halfe a Douz|en of them, They in the hight of their Cupps, &s;hall like &s;o many Proud &s;he <HI>Phari&s;ees,</HI> Every one Iu&s;tifie them&s;elves as thus, I thanke GOD I never cal'd my hu&s;|band Knave, nor Drunkard, I never &s;trove to weare the Breeches, and many &s;uch things, When to my Knowledge &s;he hath cal'd him Rouge and Ra&s;call, And made him weare the Horne, Then &s;ayes a Second tru|ly Go&s;hopp I commend you for my owne part, I mu&s;t confe&s;&s;e I am a litle to ha&s;ty, And oftentimes v&s;e my Tounge more then I have thanke for my Labours e&s;|pecially of my Hu&s;band. Likewi&s;e a third gives her Verdict, Truely Go&s;hopp quoth &s;he the Tounge is an vnruely Member, Be&s;ides you know that Woman are the weaker Ve&s;&s;ells, &amp; men ought to beare with our infermities (as we beare them) And you know neigh|bour that the vprighte&s;t man falls Seven times a DAY, Then we Woman may very well fall Fourteene times a Night, being the weaksr Ve&s;&s;ells, as I tould you be|fore.</P>
<P>This is their Di&s;cour&s;e &s;ome two Houres or perhaps three, In which time they Arrive at a Reckoning of &s;ome Fourteene or Fifteene Shillings, which being paid, downe Stayers they goe, And being come in|to the Street, They expre&s;&s;e their weakene&s;&s;e, being &s;carce able to &s;tand on their Legs: At length &s;tag|gering each, to hir Hou&s;e, If any of their Hu&s;bands happen to be at Home and demand where they have been, They looke pre&s;ently on their Apron Strings which in&s;pires them with a Lye, With which they flapp their too credulous Hu&s;bands in the Mouth.  Thirdly <GAP DESC="missing" EXTENT="1+ pages">
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Truely Sweet Heart I have been to &s;ee &s;uch an Aunt, Or I have beene at a Gentle woemans Labour, and I am &s;o weary and the like, Which the good Man be|lieves. Thus they make their Hu&s;bands Hone&s;t Cre|dulitye, The Subject of their ill Hu&s;wifery.</P>
<P>Then you &s;hall have Another; Nay many that &s;eeme to love their Hu&s;bands well, But yet Love a|nother Woemans Hu&s;band better, And that is the Trick of a di&s;embling WHORE, But yet of all WHORES there is no WHORE to a Holy WHORE, which when &s;he turnes up the White of her Eye, And the Blacke of her Tayle when &s;he falls flat of her Backe, Accor|ding as the Spirit moves her, The Fire of her Zeale, Kindles &s;uch a Flame, that the Divell cannot with|&s;tand her, Be&s;ides &s;he can fit a man with &s;uch a Cloake for her Knavery &s;he can cover her Lu&s;t with Religion, O! the&s;e La&s;&s;es that can ri&s;e and get them ready by Six a Cloake in the Morning to goe to <HI>Chri&s;t</HI> Church, And then in the Afternoone to go to Saint <HI>Autholing</HI> O! how they li&s;ten for that <HI>Tinckle tanckle</HI> bell that rov&s;es them in a morning to a &s;tirring exceci&s;e, but I am afraid that a great many of them love the bell for the Clapper &s;ak<GAP DESC="illegible" EXTENT="1 letter">, they love the &s;mock though they hate the &s;urplis, &s;o much for that.</P>
<P>But lea&s;t I &s;hould incurre the di&s;plea&s;ure of all woe|men for laying ope the erorrs of &s;ome, I will now be|gin to turne the Catt in the Pan as the ould &s;aying i<GAP DESC="illegible" EXTENT="1 letter">, and leaving the&s;e, Go&s;&s;<GAP DESC="illegible" EXTENT="1 letter">p to amend. I will now &s;ay alitle concerning good woemen, if there be any &s;uch as &s;ure there are, though &s;carce, and I veryly beleeue if every one would, amend one, we &s;hould have a great
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many more then we have, but I am afraid they will be &s;o farre from takeing my councell that they will &s;ooner reward me with a &s;cratcht Crowne, then with any oth<GAP DESC="illegible" EXTENT="2 letters"> reward, for my friendly admonition. As for the good women <GAP DESC="illegible" EXTENT="1 word"> need &s;pend no time to prai&s;e them their works will &s;aint-like declare their worths and their vertues &s;ha<GAP DESC="illegible" REASON="damage" EXTENT="2 letters"> <GAP DESC="illegible" REASON="damage" EXTENT="2 letters">ine on earth much, more in Heaven divine.</P>
<Q><L>Good Woemen are like starres in darke&s;t night,</L>
<L>Their vertuous actions &s;hining as a light.</L>
<L>To guide their Ignoraent &s;ex which oft' times fall,</L>
<L>And falling oft turnes Diabolicall.</L>
<L>Their good examples oft times does per&s;wade,</L>
<L>A zealous Si&s;ter from hir falling trade.</L>
<L>Good weomen &s;ure are Angels on the earth,</L>
<L>Of the&s;e good Angells wee have had a darth.</L>
<L>And therefore all you men that have good wives</L>
<L>Re&s;pect their vertues equall with your lives.</L></Q>
<TRAILER>FINIS</TRAILER>
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