<!DOCTYPE ETS PUBLIC "-//UMDLPS//DTD EEBOPROOF 2.0//EN">
<ETS>
<TEMPHEAD>
<REVDESCR>
<CHANGE>
<DATE>2013-03-13</DATE>
<RESPSTMT>
<NAME>Colm MacCrossan</NAME>
<RESP>MURP</RESP>
</RESPSTMT>
<ITEM>Proofed and reviewed.</ITEM>
</CHANGE>
</REVDESCR>
</TEMPHEAD>
<EEBO>
<IDG S="marc" R="OX" ID="A78181">
<STC T="W">B877</STC>
<STC T="T">E1351_5</STC>
<BIBNO T="umi">99868279</BIBNO>
<VID>169822</VID>
</IDG>
<TEXT LANG="eng">
<FRONT>
<DIV1 TYPE="title page">
<PB REF="1" MS="y">
<P>No-Body his Complaint A Dialogue between Ma&s;ter No Body, and Doctour Some-Body. <HI>A delightfull Di&s;cour&s;e. By</HI> GEORGE BARON.</P>
<Q><TEXT LANG="eng">
<BODY>
<DIV1 TYPE="dialogue">
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No-Body.</SPEAKER>
<L>Why do'&s;t thou father all thy Lies</L>
<L>On me? heaping Indignities</L>
<L>On one that never injur'd thee?</L>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som-Body.</SPEAKER>
<L>My Words and Acts hurt <HI>No-body.</HI></L>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No-Body.</SPEAKER>
<L><HI>Som-body</HI> hath belied me much,</L>
<L><HI>No-Body</HI> &s;ure hath cau&s;e to grutch.</L>
</SP>
</DIV1>
</BODY>
</TEXT></Q>
<P><FIGURE>
<FIGDESC>cartoonish representation of two well-dressed male figures</FIGDESC>
<P>SomeBody</P>
<P>NoBody</P>
</FIGURE></P>
<P><HI>London,</HI> Printed by <HI>B. Al&s;op,</HI> dwelling near the Up|per-Pomp in Grub&s;treet, 1652.</P>
</DIV1>
</FRONT>
<BODY>
<DIV1 TYPE="dialogue">
<PB REF="2">
<PB REF="2">
<HEAD>No-Bodies Complaint. <HI>A</HI> Dialogue between Ma&s;ter <HI>No-Body,</HI> and Doctor <HI>Some-Body.</HI></HEAD>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No-Body.</SPEAKER>
<P>_OH my friend, M. <HI>Some-body,</HI> the heavens be thanked that I have &s;o fortunately met with thee, to make thee acquainted with my &s;ad condition; for I prote&s;t, that above this thr&eacute;e moneths toge|ther, I have been &s;o &s;ad, &s;o troubled in mind, and &s;o perplexed with melancholy thoughts, that it hath almo&s;t brought me into de&s;pair.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Some-body.</SPEAKER>
<P>Alas Mr. <HI>Nobody,</HI> the&s;e words of yours &s;trikes grief unto my &s;oul: for I never grieve more then when I hear that word, De|&s;pair. I de&s;ire you now without delay to tell me the occa&s;ion why, and wherefore you are &s;o troubled.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Nobo.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ha: I verely thought to have told thee but I will refrain, I know thou can&s;t do me no good, nor none in the world.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<PB REF="3">
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>None in the world! me thinks that is very &s;trange; &s;urely you are troubled with a di&s;|ea&s;e that none in the world is be&s;ides.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Nob.</SPEAKER>
<P>That which troubles me &s;o, is no di&s;|ea&s;e, therefore you are mi&s;taken in that; but I mu&s;t confe&s;s to thee, that I think it will bring di&s;ea&s;es upon me.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>Let me de&s;ire you then in the word of a friend, not to keep clo&s;e to your &s;elf tho&s;e things which &s;o much trouble you but impart them to me; you know I have been your old friend, and have always wi&s;hed you well: Hearken now to my coun&s;el you know not how much good I may do you; I have been a Doctor in all parts of the world, and have cured many which I verily be|leeve have been wor&s;e then you are, and here in my native Countrie I have performed cures, which I think you mu&s;t needs hear of; and you having been troubled but three moneths, you wil be the &s;ooner cured.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Nob,</SPEAKER>
<P>I know as good a Doctor as you are: and for all you have cured &s;o manie, yet nothing that you can do can cure me; for although I have been troubled in mind but thr&eacute;e moneths, yet I have been pa&s;t cure many thou&s;and years: Were I as wi&s;e now as <HI>I</HI> have formerly been, <HI>I</HI> had never di&s;quieted my &s;elf &s;o much as <HI>I</HI> have done: but <HI>I</HI> mu&s;t tell thee too, &s;o many thou&s;and
<PB REF="3"> years <HI>I</HI> have lived in hope that things would have grown better and better but now <HI>I</HI> &s;&eacute;e they grow wor&s;e and wor&s;e, which hath brought me into this lamentable condition.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>You &s;peak as if you were very old, and it is a common &s;aying, that the older folk grow the more wit they have; but <HI>I</HI> perceive the old|er you grow the more fool you are. Me thinks you had done wi&s;ely, if you had &s;lighted tho&s;e things which did not plea&s;e you, and &s;o your thoughts had not been di&s;quieted; but this that you have &s;aid now is a Paradox to me, <HI>I</HI> know not what your meaning is, in &s;aying, that you have been troubled in mind but three moneths, and have been part cure thou&s;ands of years: <HI>I</HI> de&s;ire therefore, that you would demon&s;trate to me how this can be!</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Nob.</SPEAKER>
<P>Alas poor &s;oul, <HI>I</HI> &s;hould be very willing to demon&s;trate to thee that my words are true, were <HI>I</HI> in the lea&s;t hope that thou coulde&s;t do me any good: but knowing that thou art not potent enough to do it, <HI>I</HI> will never declare what it is that hath brought me into this &s;ad condition, but k&eacute;ep it clo&s;e to my &s;elf.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>You may tell me however, whether <HI>I</HI> can do thee good or not; you know that <HI>I</HI> cannot make you wor&s;e, it may be <HI>I</HI> may make thee bet|ter; but <HI>I</HI> prote&s;t unto thee, that <HI>I</HI> never heard
<PB REF="4"> any &s;peak &s;uch words as thou ha&s;t done, to &s;ay that thou ha&s;t been pa&s;t cure thou&s;ands of years, <HI>I</HI> never heard nor read of any that hath been troubled in mind &s;o long as you have been, but either they have been cured in a &s;hort time or el&s;e come to &s;ome de&s;perate end; and more, <HI>I</HI> ne|ver heard or read of any that lived a thou&s;and years, and you &s;peak as if you were ten times as old as <HI>Methu&s;alem.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Nob.</SPEAKER>
<P>Thou telle&s;t me thou can&s;t not make me wor&s;e <HI>I</HI> am &s;ure thou can&s;t not make me bet|ter; and yet let me tell thee how thou can&s;t make me wor&s;e: Thou maie&s;t make me wor&s;e by thy abundance of words, for my mind is trou|bled enough already, but the&s;e tormenting words of thine, if thou holde&s;t not thy tongue, will make me far wor&s;e then ever <HI>I</HI> have been yet: me thinks <HI>I</HI> am a&s;hamed that thou being a Doctor, &s;houlde&s;t &s;peak &s;uch &s;imple werds, to &s;ay, thou can&s;t not make me wor&s;e. But the truth is thy pocket (<HI>I</HI> think) is empty of money; thou would|e&s;t be tampering with me to give me Phy&s;ick: but know, that no Phy&s;ick in the world can do me any good, and <HI>I</HI> know Doctors love monie very well. Thou &s;aie&s;t thou do&s;t wonder that <HI>I</HI> &s;hould &s;ay <HI>I</HI> have been troubled in mind but three moneths, and have b&eacute;en pa&s;t cure thou&s;ands of years; thou neede&s;t not to wonder at it, for
<PB REF="4"> what <HI>I</HI> have &s;aid is nothing but truth, and more <HI>I</HI> will tell thee that as I have a name by my &s;elf, &s;o I am troubled about that which none in the world is be&s;ides my &s;elf.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>Alas &s;ir, I am &s;orry I &s;hould be a means to make you wor&s;e; for I ingeniou&s;ly profe&s;&s;e unto you, that I love you &s;o well, that I &s;hould be almo&s;t contented to die, &s;o that it might be a means to make you better: but I find now your mind is changed, for at my fir&s;t m&eacute;eting with you, you told me that you thought your &s;elf infinite happy becau&s;e you had &s;o fortunately met with me, that you might acquaint me with your &s;ad condition, and indeed I thought my words would have prevailed &s;o much with you, that I &s;hould have driven away tho&s;e &s;ad cogita|tions, which do &s;o perplex your mind; you need not be a&s;hamed for that I &s;aid, <HI>I</HI> thought <HI>I</HI> could do you good (if you would tell me the occa&s;ion why you were &s;o troubled:) if <HI>I</HI> had tried and could not, I hope you would have accepted the will for the deed, and for &s;aying <HI>I</HI> di&s;&s;emble and what <HI>I</HI> &s;peak is for nothing but to get monie out of you. I prote&s;t you do me a world of injurie, <HI>I</HI> thank God, <HI>I</HI> have monie enough but had <HI>I</HI> none it would be great nece&s;&s;ity which &s;hould drive me to take monie of you; and I mu&s;t tell you more, that we Phy&s;itians are unde&s;ervedly
<PB REF="5"> &s;candalized by all &s;orts of people, who&s;e &s;aying is, that all of us love monie very well, but alas tis contrary, for <HI>I</HI> think we value monie le&s;s then any do, though we have more rea&s;on to love our monie more then any do: <HI>I</HI> beleeve wi&s;e men will &s;ay &s;o, if they con&s;ider the world of pains we endure ri&s;ing out of our beds all hours of the night, and walking about all the day long to vi&s;it our patients &s;o that we have &s;carce time to eat either dinners or &s;uppers; <HI>I</HI> prote&s;t it is enough to bring di&s;ea&s;es upon our &s;elves, and what would the people do then for Phy&s;itians? You &s;ay <HI>I</HI> need not wonder at what you &s;aid that you have been troubled in mind but three Mo|neths, and have been pa&s;t cure thou&s;ands of years, you &s;hew me indeed a rea&s;on why <HI>I</HI> &s;hould not wonder at it becau&s;e that <HI>I</HI> never heard any of your name be&s;ides your &s;elf, and as you have a name by your &s;elf, &s;o you &s;ay you are troubled about that which none other is: But <HI>I</HI> pray you once again to tell me what it is; I am the more earne&s;t, becau&s;e none el&s;e hath been troubled with it.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Nob.</SPEAKER>
<P>Surely you are long winded, and love to prittle prattle; but Phy&s;itians are &s;o for the mo&s;t part, they can tel a tale two or three hours together; but <HI>I</HI> do not &s;ay you can therfore excu&s;e me: you know <HI>I</HI> love to be merry &s;ometimes.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<PB REF="5">
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>Hah, do you love to be merry, and &s;aid but now that you were almo&s;t in de&s;pair the&s;e three moneths together? <HI>I</HI> perceive you can lie as well as others: &s;urely what you have &s;aid is not true, but onelie to &s;ee what <HI>I</HI> would &s;ay to it.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Nob.</SPEAKER>
<P>What <HI>I</HI> have told you is true and if <HI>I</HI> &s;hould tel you my grief it would but grieve you.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>Why do you tell me &s;o? <HI>I</HI> &s;hould rejoice rather, for the a&s;&s;ured hope and confidence <HI>I</HI> have to cure you, would make me rejoice.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Nob.</SPEAKER>
<P>Cure me! me thinks thou &s;peake&s;t like a very fool: thou talke&s;t of curing me if <HI>I</HI> would tell thee my grief; <HI>I</HI> have told thee already, and that is not enough, but thou mu&s;t know the cau&s;e of it; Phy&s;itians de&s;ire no more but to know the di&s;ea&s;e. But &s;urelie thou art no Phy|&s;itian, but &s;ome Farrier, fitter to cure a hor&s;e tha~ a man, and now thou profe&s;&s;e&s;t thy &s;elf a Doctor.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>Sir me thinks you &s;peak more like a fool then <HI>J;</HI> for though Phy&s;itians de&s;ire but to know the di&s;ea&s;e that avails not you for you have confe&s;&s;ed that yours was no di&s;ea&s;e, but perplex|ity of mind; if <HI>J</HI> knew what did perplex thee, <HI>J</HI> might per&s;wade you out of it. it is good coun|&s;el (if any thing) that mu&s;t do you good, and this is the rea&s;on why <HI>J</HI> am &s;o importunate: if this de&s;ire be &s;imple, <HI>J</HI> have no wi&s;dome in me. <HI>J</HI> be|&s;eech you let me make one more acquainted
<PB REF="6"> with the condition you are in, and <HI>J</HI> will be judged by him, whether or no that which <HI>J</HI> have &s;poken is &s;imple; but why &s;hould <HI>J</HI> be &s;o de&s;irous to get means to cure you, &s;eeing you &s;o abu&s;e me to my face, in calling me Farrier and more fitter to cure a hor&s;e then to undertake to cure a man, <HI>J</HI> took you alwaies to be my friend, but <HI>J</HI> perceive now that you are &s;o far from it, that you are my ab&s;olute enemie, or el&s;e you would never have ca&s;t &s;uch a&s;per&s;ions upon me; what <HI>J</HI> have de&s;ired all this time that <HI>J</HI> have been pre&s;ent with you, hath been for your good and not for mine if you were &s;o deep in de&s;pair, and it were impo&s;&s;ible to cure you you know it will be nothing to me, <HI>J</HI> &s;hould never be the better or the wor&s;e, but being one of my old acquaint|ance, therefore <HI>J</HI> &s;hould be &s;orry to &s;ee you grow in de&s;pair: and for all you have abu&s;ed me &s;o to my face, yet <HI>J</HI> will never abu&s;e you &s;o, but e&s;teem of you as my friend, <HI>J</HI> can forget injuries pre&s;ently, you &s;ee how &s;oon an|ger &s;lies out of my brea&s;t <HI>J</HI> cannot retain it a moment within me: and now Sir, <HI>J</HI> would de|&s;ire you to be wi&s;e, as you e&s;teem your own good, and be not &s;o &s;elf-willed in your ways.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No.</SPEAKER>
<P>What doe&s;t thou think <HI>I</HI> am a fool, and have lived &s;o long in the world: <HI>I</HI> am as old (almo&s;t) as <HI>Adam,</HI> and wilt thou teach me to
<PB REF="6"> be wi&s;e, no know that <HI>I</HI> have wit enough, and <HI>I</HI> pray thee be not &s;o angry, becau&s;e <HI>I</HI> &s;aid thou art fitter to cure a hor&s;e, then to undertake to cure a man for <HI>I</HI> prote&s;t <HI>I</HI> am &s;orry for it, and furthermore <HI>I</HI> tell thee, it proceeded more out of my pa&s;&s;ion, then any ill will <HI>I</HI> have towards thee and therefore pardon me for it, <HI>I</HI> know thou ha&s;t performed great cures, which <HI>I</HI> have heard di|vers men report, and <HI>I</HI> a&s;&s;ure my &s;elf it is true: but me thinks thou did&s;t ask me one &s;imple que&s;tion even now; which was, that thou de&s;i|re&s;t to acquaint another in what a condition <HI>I</HI> am in, but <HI>I</HI> mu&s;t tell thee that <HI>I</HI> am &s;o far from yeelding to thy de&s;ire, that had&s;t thou not been one, whom <HI>I</HI> thought <HI>I</HI> might put confidence in, thy &s;elf &s;hould never have known it: further|more know that <HI>I</HI> am pa&s;t all cure, and none can do no good.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>Sir me thinks <HI>I</HI> am not &s;imple, becau&s;e <HI>I</HI> de&s;ired you to permit me that <HI>I</HI> might make a|nother acquainted with your di&s;tre&s;&s;ed e&s;tate; for thinking my &s;elf almo&s;t out of hope to prevail with you therefore <HI>I</HI> de&s;ired to acquaint ano|ther with it, to &s;ee whether he could prevail with you, and al&s;o to judge, whether that <HI>I</HI> &s;poke before was &s;imple, and &s;eeing you will not per|mit me to do this, <HI>I</HI> tell you plainly <HI>I</HI> am out of hope, that ever you will tell me what it is that troubles your mind.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<PB REF="7">
<SPEAKER>No.</SPEAKER>
<P>Me thinkes that in all this time thou ha&s;t b&eacute;en di&s;cour&s;ing with me, thou mighte&s;t have found out thy &s;elf what is it that hath al|mo&s;t brought me into di&s;pair.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>D. Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>Alas &s;ir, I think it is impo&s;&s;ible for me to dive into your thoughts, and by your di&s;cour&s;e I cannot tell what it is.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>M. No.</SPEAKER>
<P>Impo&s;&s;ible! that is not true, for I ve|rily bel&eacute;eve, had you as much wit as you profe&s;&s;e you have; you mu&s;t needs know.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>Sir, I am no Divel nor Witch (though I am a Doctour) to tell &s;uch &s;trange things: you told me I might have found it out having &s;o long di&s;cour&s;e with you; but truly I think, &s;hould I di&s;cour&s;e ten times as long again with you I &s;hould not know.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No.</SPEAKER>
<P>No, Divell nor Witch I bel&eacute;eve you are not, but I cannot beleeve, but that you know already, what it is that troubles my mind &s;o much.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>I mu&s;t thank you for the good opinion you have of me, but truly I mu&s;t tell you a|gain, I know not, neither do I think (without you tell me) I ever &s;hall.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No.</SPEAKER>
<P>Mr. Doctor, you n&eacute;ed not be &s;o de&s;irous to know, but I think your Con&s;cience accu&s;eth you.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>Accu&s;e me! I de&s;ire you would
<PB REF="7"> tell me for what, for truly I know not.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No.</SPEAKER>
<P>I mu&s;t tell you plain, if your con&s;cience do not accu&s;e you, it may do ju&s;tly.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>I de&s;ire to know again what my con|&s;cience &s;hould accu&s;e me of you have put me in great admiration, I know not what it &s;hould be unle&s;&s;e &s;ome bu&s;ie body hath told &s;ome fal&s;e-tales on me.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No.</SPEAKER>
<P>No Sir, know that none in the world e|ver told any tale to me, but what I know my &s;elf.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>I de&s;ire then you would tell me what you know your &s;elf of me.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No.</SPEAKER>
<P>Know of thee? I &s;hall tell pre&s;ently, thy &s;elf is one that hath almo&s;t brought me into de&s;|pair.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh woe is me, am I one that hath almo&s;t brought you into di&s;pair? the heavens forbid it I &s;hould think I were the mo&s;t unfortunates wretch in the world, &s;hould I be guilty of &s;o heinous a crime.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No.</SPEAKER>
<P>Now I perceive thine ignorance thou little think&s;t wherein thou ha&s;t almo&s;t brought me in to de&s;pair, and for all thou &s;aye&s;t thou woulde&s;t not for a world be guilty of &s;o heinous a crime, yet I tell th&eacute;e that thou art; but more I mu&s;t tell th&eacute;e, that there are thou&s;ands in the world that are more guilty then thou art.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<PB REF="8">
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>You talk that I am guilty, and thou|&s;ands which are more guilty, but all this time I know not of what I am guilty off, I would I were &s;o wi&s;e to know, and then I doubt not, but I &s;hall &s;ufficiently &s;atisfie you.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No.</SPEAKER>
<P>Satisfie me! <HI>I</HI> know thou can&s;t not &s;a|tisfie me that thou art clear, for <HI>I</HI> am &s;ure of the contrarie, and <HI>I</HI> tell thee again, that thou, and more then thou&s;ands, yea the whole world, hath abu&s;ed and wronged me.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>Is that it that troubles you &s;o much? me thinks this is the &s;trange&s;t thing that ever <HI>I</HI> heard of that all the world &s;hould abu&s;e one man, <HI>I</HI> de&s;ire you would tell me how they have abu&s;ed you, and then <HI>I</HI> will beleeve it.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>I</HI> can ea&s;ily make it appear unto you in what the world have abu&s;ed me: but what n&eacute;ed <HI>I? I</HI> know thou can&s;t not help it: one thing <HI>I</HI> tell thee more that the&s;e dayes of late <HI>I</HI> am more &s;candalized and wronged then ever <HI>I</HI> was here|tofore, that <HI>I</HI> think the Divel is in them all.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>Sir, pray be not &s;o pa&s;&s;ionate, <HI>I</HI> think you will be frantick as you have &s;aid, <HI>I</HI> de&s;ire you would tell me how <HI>I</HI> have abu&s;ed and belied you, and after you have told me, <HI>I</HI> de&s;ire you would proc&eacute;ed to tell me how all the world have &s;candalized you.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well, &s;&eacute;eing you are &s;o earne&s;t to know
<PB REF="8"> <HI>I</HI> will tell you; but fir&s;t thou mu&s;t tell me, whe|ther in all thy life thou ha&s;t committed any faults?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>Alas Sir, there is none in the world but commits faults either one time or another (<HI>I</HI> think) <HI>I</HI> am &s;ure for my part <HI>I</HI> have.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No.</SPEAKER>
<P>Thou ha&s;t re&s;olved me in this, now re|&s;olve me in one more <HI>I</HI> know thou can&s;t do it, ha&s;t thou denied thy faults when thou ha&s;t done them, or no?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>Truly Sir, <HI>I</HI> mu&s;t confe&s;&s;e unto you, that <HI>I</HI> love quietne&s;&s;e very well, and when <HI>I</HI> have committed a fault, <HI>I</HI> do the be&s;t <HI>I</HI> can to ex|cu&s;e my &s;elf.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No.</SPEAKER>
<P>That is not the thing <HI>I</HI> de&s;ired thee to tell me; <HI>I</HI> reque&s;ted of th&eacute;e when thou ha&s;t done a fault whether thou did&s;t deny it, or no?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>Then truly Sir, to tell you the truth, when <HI>I</HI> have committed a fault <HI>I</HI> denied that e|ver <HI>I</HI> did it?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No.</SPEAKER>
<P>Who ha&s;t thou laied the fault on, or who ha&s;t thou &s;aid did it.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>When <HI>I</HI> was asked who did it, <HI>I</HI> made an&s;wer that <HI>No-body</HI> did it which <HI>I</HI> knew.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No.</SPEAKER>
<P>Now have <HI>I</HI> found out by thy own words how thou ha&s;t abu&s;ed and belied me, oh di&s;&s;em|bling wretch, thou did&s;t alwaies pretend, that thou de&s;ire&s;t to know what it was that had al|mo&s;t
<PB REF="9"> brought me in de&s;pair for my good; but now have I found out to the contrary: thou would&s;t not for a world be the cau&s;e of any ones falling into di&s;pair, and thou ha&s;t been one cau&s;e of mine, I perceive thy di&s;&s;imulation; I char|ged thee with it before, but thou did&s;t deny it: now therefore tell me why thou ca&s;te&s;t &s;uch a&s;|per&s;ions upon me, and &s;o bely me, that when thou had&s;t done faults to lay it upon me.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>Sir, you have put me in a maze I know not (as yet) what to &s;ay, but I de&s;ire you that you would give me a little time that I may an|&s;wer you.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No.</SPEAKER>
<P>Thou maye&s;t well be in a maze, for I know thou can&s;t not an&s;wer for thy &s;elf, thine own con&s;cience is as a thou&s;and witne&s;&s;es a|gain&s;t thee: thou did&s;t think certainly that I would not have thought, that thou had&s;t abu&s;ed me; but I know thou ha&s;t put many abu|&s;es on me: Now therefore confe&s;&s;s thy wic|kedne&s;&s;e unto me, and that thou ha&s;t belied me, and I will forgive th&eacute;e; provided, that thou will never do &s;o again.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>Truly Sir, I mu&s;t confe&s;&s;e that many thou&s;and faults which <HI>I</HI> have done, I have deni|ed, and when another hath b&eacute;en asked, he hath denied it, and another he denies it, and &s;o all de|nies it, and at la&s;t it is concluded that <HI>No body</HI>
<PB REF="9"> did it: <HI>I</HI> confe&s;&s;e <HI>I</HI> was ignorant of this, that <HI>I</HI> a|bu&s;ed you.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ignorant of it, I cannot beleeve thee. thou art a di&s;&s;embler, and <HI>J</HI> took thee alwaies to be my friend, but <HI>J</HI> perceive now thou art mine enemy, or el&s;e thou woulde&s;t never have ca&s;t &s;uch &s;candals on me behind my back.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>Mr. <HI>No-body,</HI> as long as <HI>I</HI> live <HI>I</HI> &s;hall be ever bound to pray for you; for <HI>I</HI> prote&s;t <HI>I</HI> have learned more wit of you then ever <HI>I</HI> had in my life before, and now <HI>I</HI> be&s;eech you &s;weet Sir, to pardon me for the abu&s;es <HI>J</HI> have done you and <HI>I</HI> &s;hall ever hereafter be carefull that <HI>I</HI> tell no more lies on you, and once again &s;weet <HI>Mr. No-body</HI> forgive me.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well, &s;eeing thou ha&s;t &s;o earne&s;tlie de|&s;ired me to forgive thee <HI>I</HI> will, but be &s;ure thou never tell more lies on me as thou ha&s;t former|ly.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>So.</SPEAKER>
<P><HI>I</HI> never thought y^u had &s;o much wit in you, as now <HI>I</HI> &s;ee you have, and me thinks you having &s;o much wit might free your &s;elf from the a&s;per|&s;ions of the world.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No.</SPEAKER>
<P>That <HI>I</HI> can never do for <HI>I</HI> am not able to bind peoples tongues, and &s;o long as they have them at liberty, &s;o long &s;hall <HI>I</HI> be abu&s;ed.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>You &s;peak very true Sir, and now I pray &s;hew me how many things the world lay to your charge.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<PB REF="10">
<SPEAKER>No.</SPEAKER>
<P>That I will though to my grief &s;hew thee, and fir&s;t I wil begin with the high crimes, murther &s;hall be the fir&s;t; when any murther is done, I am accu&s;ed for it, when inquiry is mode after it, none will own it, &s;o it falleth on me poor <HI>Nobody,</HI> but I would have the world know, I am not guilty of &s;uch heinous crimes, and therefore when murthers are done again, I would de&s;ire all people not to charge me with it.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>All that you have &s;aid now is true, for I have been where men have been murthered, and when &s;earch and inquiry have been made for them that did it, they could not be found; &s;o then the &s;earchers have &s;aid &s;urely this is &s;trange, <HI>Nobody</HI> hath done it. And now Mr. <HI>Nobody</HI> I tell you, if I am in place where mur|thers are found out again; I will do my be&s;t in|deavour to clear you and not &s;uffer &s;uch things to be laid to your charge.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No.</SPEAKER>
<P>I thank thee kindly &s;weet Doctor I &s;hall now e&s;teem thee as a dear friend, but I know thy endeavours will be in vain, and therefore trouble not thy &s;elf, for if there was any means in the world I &s;hould have found it out before this time, and now I will proceed to tell thee &s;ome other crimes which are laid to my charge, but I know it is impo&s;&s;ible to tell thee all</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<PB REF="10">
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>I de&s;ire you (&s;ir) to &s;tay a little while before you proceed, that I may ask you a que&s;ti|on; whether you were ever taken upon &s;u&s;pici|on of &s;uch things?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Nob.</SPEAKER>
<P>I was never taken; for I am &s;o &s;wift of foot, and &s;o vigilant, that tis impo&s;&s;ible; al|&s;o I am here and there in a moment.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>You may rejoice much that you cannot be taken: and now you have &s;atisfied me in this, I would de&s;ire you to proceed.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Nobod.</SPEAKER>
<P>When Rogues have broken up hou|&s;es, and &s;tolen things, if they chance to e&s;cape, then I am accu&s;ed for it, <HI>No body</HI> hath done it: what a mo&s;t &s;ad condition am I in, that mu&s;t be thus abu&s;ed.</P>
<P>When Robberies are committed upon the high-way, if they e&s;cape al&s;o, then I am accu&s;ed for it; for they cover their faces with vi&s;ards, thinking to make it like mine, when (alas) I am ignorant of it.</P>
<P>When Hou&s;es are &s;et on fire by Rogues, then I am accu&s;ed for it; for they run away, and when enquiry is made for them, they are not to be found, then &s;ome &s;ay, This is &s;trange, <HI>Nobody</HI> did it.</P>
<P>Again, I am accu&s;ed for &s;wearing, though I never &s;wore an Oath in my life; For when the Con&s;table commeth, and demandeth ten groats
<PB REF="11"> for every Oath, then they &s;traightway deny it, and &s;ay, they knew <HI>No body</HI> which &s;wore: and thus you &s;ee I am abu&s;ed, this is like to all the re&s;t.</P>
<P>Again, When a lying Pamplet comes out again&s;t the State, none owns it, &s;o I am accu|&s;ed for it.</P>
<P>Again, I am abu&s;ed by Trades-men, for when they buy a parcel of ware, and &s;teal the Exci&s;e, and when the Exci&s;e-men come and demand it of them they deny it, and &s;ay, They knew <HI>No body</HI> which did it.</P>
<P>Again. When Young Fellowes have got Young La&s;&s;es with Child, then I am accu&s;ed for it for they deny it, and &s;ay <HI>No body</HI> did it which they knew; all roguery falls on me, I mu&s;t endure all.</P>
<P>Again, In poor mens hou&s;es, both in City and Countrey I am abu&s;ed, for when their chil|dren get to the Cup-board, and eate up the Bread and Chee&s;e, and when their Parents ask, Who did it? they deny it, and &s;ay <HI>No body</HI> did it.</P>
<P>In the hou&s;es of Kings, Dukes, Marque&s;&s;es, Earls, Lords, Knights, Gentlemen, Trades-men Yeomen. Farmers, Husbandmen, yea, and poor Labouring men, in all their Hou&s;es, the faults that are done are imputed to me; what a
<PB REF="11"> lamentable condition am <HI>I</HI> in, that &s;hould thus be &s;candalized before the whole world, what a grief is this to my &s;oul, but <HI>I</HI> mu&s;t be conten|ted, <HI>I</HI> could tell thee thou&s;ands of ways more how <HI>I</HI> am abu&s;ed, but <HI>I</HI> will omit them till <HI>I</HI> have told thee the pains that <HI>I</HI> take too.</P>
<P>When Gentlemen, Knights, and &s;uch like ride journies and have no &s;erving men to wait upon them then <HI>I</HI> am fain to be their foot boy to run by their hor&s;e &s;ide.</P>
<P>When folks are gone all out of their hou&s;es, then am <HI>I</HI> fain to be there, vigilantly to look to it, and k&eacute;ep it from all harm.</P>
<P>When young fellows leaves their work and goes to play, then am I fain to work in their &s;tead, that their ma&s;ters may not be di&s;plea&s;ed with them.</P>
<P>When &s;ouldiers are placed in a Ca&s;tle to keep it, if it chance that an enemy comes a|gain&s;t it, they like cowardly rogues &s;teal away by night, and I am left (onely) to keep it, thou&s;ands more I could tell thee of, but that I think it will be a vexation unto thee, yet how|ever I will tell thee two or three more; the fir&s;t is that when men are put to hard work, and cannot tell how do it, then I am fain to do it.</P>
<PB REF="12">
<P>When men neglect their bu&s;ine&s;s, and will not go to do it, then am I fain to go.</P>
<P>Again, bu&s;ine&s;s that none in the world is a|ble to do, that I am put to do.</P>
<P>Again, when Knights Gentlemen, or others have any &s;tinking meat in their hou&s;e, that the dog is not able to eat, then I mu&s;t; thus they requite me for my pains; oh ingrateful wretches look to it, for be confident that one day you &s;hall all dearly rue for it: oh in what a deplorable con|dition I am in, to be abu&s;ed by the whole world, is not this enough to bring me into de&s;pair.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>Enough! yea half of them it is enough to bring any one into di&s;pair, &amp; for my part Mr. <HI>No-body,</HI> I will alwayes lament your &s;ad con|dition and pray that you may be delivered from them all.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No.</SPEAKER>
<P>Ah, I thank thee kindly, what a great comfort have I in the enjoying of thy &s;weet companie, would thou coulde&s;t continue with me alwaies I &s;hould think my &s;elf then happy, though I have &s;o many afflictions, and being I love thee &s;o well, I will proceed to tel thee more.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>Let me tell you one thing fir&s;t which is a comfort to you.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No.</SPEAKER>
<P>What is that?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>Why this it is (as I conceive) when one Gentleman invites another, or one Lady a|nother
<PB REF="12"> or more if they fail to come: then you are there in their &s;tead &s;o that by this thing you get a world of good chear, and have all the dainties that is to be gotten; is not this true?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes it is true that I am fain to be there, but the Devil as &s;oon as any dainty I eat: but if I did, doe&s;t thou think that it would be &s;uch a comfort unto me; no know, that I am not &s;uch a belly-God: but my afflictions &s;trikes nearer to my heart then all the comforts in the world do; doe&s;t thou think I take comfort in any thing? no no, I do not.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>Alas Sir, the more &s;orry I am to hear it, that you take comfort in nothing oh I am grieved as much as you, to hear the&s;e deadly words: but one thing grieves me more then all the re&s;t, that I mu&s;t of nece&s;&s;ity be gone from you for my occa&s;ions are &s;o great, that if I &s;hould not go it would be n eternal infamy to me.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No,</SPEAKER>
<P>Ah Sir, mu&s;t you depart? I am &s;orry to hear it; but pray tell me why would it be &s;uch an infamy to you, if you &s;hould &s;tay.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>Sir I'l tell you, this morning I was with a &s;ick patient of mine, and I promi&s;ed in two hours to be with him again, and I have been above &s;ix hours from him, and truly I left him extream ill, and &s;hould he die in the mean time, it would be an eternal infamy unto me.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<PB REF="13">
<SPEAKER>No.</SPEAKER>
<P>You &s;peak very true, and &s;eeing your oc|ca&s;ions are &s;o great, that you mu&s;t be gone, I would de&s;ire you to appoint a time when we &s;hall m&eacute;et again, for I have not di&s;covered half my griefs unto th&eacute;e.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>I cannot appoint a certain time when I &s;hall meet you, but be confident Sir, that the next convenient opportunity I have, I wil wait upon you.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>No.</SPEAKER>
<P>Well, be &s;ure thou fail not in thy pro|mi&s;e, and remember what I have &s;aid unto thee.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Som.</SPEAKER>
<P>Yes Sir, I will remember all that you have &s;aid unto me, and &s;o farewell till our next meeting.</P>
</SP>
<TRAILER>FINIS.</TRAILER>
<PB REF="13">
</DIV1>
</BODY>
</TEXT>
</EEBO>
</ETS>
