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<DATE>2010-06-06</DATE>
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<NAME>Mona Logarbo</NAME>
<RESP>MURP</RESP>
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<ITEM>Proofed and reviewed as part of batch B100513.pdcc.</ITEM>
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<IDG S="marc" R="UM" ID="A70443">
<STC T="W">l1705</STC>
<BIBNO T="oclc">9029333</BIBNO>
<VID>42292</VID>
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<TEXT LANG="eng">
<BODY>
<DIV1 TYPE="letter">
<PB REF="1">
<HEAD>A LETTER to HILTON, <HI>The Grand Informer:</HI> In An&s;wer to his Several late Printed Libels.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>Renowned Captain!</SALUTE></OPENER>
<P>I Have Peru&s;ed with no &s;mall Satisfaction, <HI>The Lamentation of a bad Market,</HI> Or, the Hi&s;tory of your Sufferings, Intituled, the <HI>CONVENTI|CLE-CO&V;RANT, &s;etting forth the dayly Trou|bles, Dangers and Abu&s;es that LOYAL GEN|TLEMEN meet with,</HI> &amp;c. Alas! Dear Heart! what a Cur&s;ed <HI>Whiggi&s;h</HI> Age is this! wherein People have an Antipathy to <HI>Toads,</HI> and expre&s;s their Aver&s;ion again&s;t <HI>Vermine</HI> and <HI>Bea&s;ts of Prey.</HI> What pitty it is, that they will not <HI>Court</HI> their Plagues, and with the Stupid <HI>Indians</HI> Wor&s;hip the <HI>Friend</HI> that Torments them? Ble&s;s us! That two &s;uch u&s;eful LOYAL Implements, as <HI>Natt. Thomp&s;on</HI> and thy Self, &s;hould ever be Liable to <HI>Factious</HI> rotten Eggs and <HI>Presbyterian</HI> Turnep-Tops.</P>
<P>But, <HI>Courage!</HI> Mon&s;ieur, though 'tis a Ba&s;e Ill-natu|red World abroad, thou art extreamly Kind and Civil at Home, and <HI>Dub'&s;t</HI> thy &s;elf at every turn, A GEN|TLEMAN; Good Sir! Oblige us in what County lies your <HI>E&s;tate,</HI> that our Friends the <HI>Addre&s;&s;ors</HI> and <HI>Abhorrers</HI> may put you up for a <HI>Parliament-man</HI> next Election? In what part of the World are we to In|quire for your <HI>Mannors</HI> and your <HI>Fee-Simples?</HI> Your <HI>Man&s;ion-Hou&s;e</HI> we under&s;tand was lately a <HI>Garret</HI> in <HI>White-Fryars,</HI> and if Madam <HI>Cellier</HI> hath &s;ince taken you into Protection and Accommodated you with a <HI>Lodging</HI> in <HI>Arundel</HI>-Buildings, &s;he may no doubt like|wi&s;e have &s;ettled upon you a large Rever&s;ion in <HI>New|gate;</HI>&mdash;Tis I Perceive all the <HI>Mode,</HI> now a days, for the very Scum of Mankind, to take upon them as <HI>Per|&s;ons of Quality,</HI> and the mo&s;t <HI>Beggarly Cowards</HI> to Boa&s;t what Feats they'l do with their LIVES and FOR|TUNES.</P>
<P>The words <HI>Loyal</HI> and <HI>Gentleman,</HI> are grown common Pro&s;titutes, ask any tater'd Bulley, or Low&s;y Shark o'th Town, what he is? He pre&s;ently Replies&mdash;<HI>Damn mee Sir! a Gentleman;</HI> and to &s;hew ones &s;elf a Mad Drunken Swearing Swaggering Coxcomb, is by &s;ome counted to be <HI>Loyal.</HI> Yet as it can't be Imagined that any thing of <HI>Generous</HI> Birth, or Education, would ever de&s;cend to the Infamous Trade of a Common IN|FORMER (e&s;pecially in your way, which is but to be <HI>Journey-man to the Devil,</HI> for he's Ma&s;ter of the Company, and his very Title,&mdash;<HI>Accu&s;er of the Brethren</HI>) &s;o what mighty <HI>Loyalty</HI> there is or can be in Prophane|ing the Lords-day, di&s;turbing&punc; Gods Wor&s;hip, Wor|rying our Hone&s;t Peaceable Neighbours becau&s;e they have a little more Care of their <HI>Souls</HI> than our-&s;elves, and Impoveri&s;hing and dividing his Maje&s;ties Loyal Prote&s;tant Subjects, (agreed in all nece&s;&s;ary Points of Religion) for &s;ome <HI>Trifling Ceremonies,</HI> is &s;carce to be apprehended.</P>
<P>Grant there be Laws unrepeal'd again&s;t <HI>peaceable Di&s;|&s;enters,</HI> yet &s;ince the &s;ame were &s;o many years happily laid to &s;leep by His Maje&s;ties Prudence, and the mode|ration of his Subordinate Mini&s;ters (of which the Na|tion have found no Cau&s;e to Repent) on what <HI>Provo|cation,</HI> or for what <HI>new Mi&s;demeanours</HI> are they now A|wakned? How come they <HI>this year</HI> to oblige your Con&s;cience Sir, to be an Informer! Or any Magi&s;trates to Thunder and Lighten with their <HI>Warrants,</HI> more then they did two, three, four, five, or &s;ix years pa&s;t? (or by the way, how comes the <HI>Act again&s;t Conventicles</HI> more to oblige peoples Con&s;ciences to Execute it, than the <HI>Act for Prohibiting French Wine,</HI> Which &s;worn Offi|cers not only <HI>neglect</HI> to Execute, but actually do <HI>vio|<GAP DESC="illegible" EXTENT="2 letters">te</HI> it every day, and yet are blamele&s;s, and counted ne|ver the <HI>le&s;s Loyal</HI> Subjects?) If <HI>Guelphs</HI> tran&s;gre&s;s, mu&s;t <HI>Gibelines</HI> be puni&s;ht? Becau&s;e the <HI>Papi&s;ts</HI> have Plotted Horird Trea&s;ons, and Providence di&s;covered them, mu&s;t poor Innocent <HI>Protestant Di&s;&s;enters</HI> be therefore &s;tript and la&s;ht? Is it the be&s;t Cour&s;e to pre&s;erve our Religion and Government, to weaken the true Inte|re&s;ts of both? Is worrying one another the only way to prevent the united De&s;igns of <HI>Rome?</HI> Are our <HI>High-Church-men</HI> &s;o Cock-&s;ure of Victory over <HI>Romes</HI> &s;warming Prie&s;ts and Je&s;uits, as to &s;corn all A&s;&s;i&s;tance, nay to fall foul and de&s;troy tho&s;e that offer it, (though never &s;o heartily, and never &s;o well Arm'd for the En|counter) unle&s;s, for&s;ooth, they will wear the &s;ame <HI>Fea|thers in their Caps</HI> as they do? If the&s;e <HI>Tantivee-Troops</HI> all alone, are indeed &s;uch an over-match for the Papi&s;ts, how then comes it to pa&s;s, That they have &s;uffered &s;o many <HI>prime Sheep</HI> to &s;tray out of their own Folds, and remain <HI>Trophies</HI> to <HI>Italian Wolves,</HI> as well as <HI>plagues</HI> to their Native Country? Whereas we have &s;carce heard of above <HI>one Di&s;&s;enter</HI> that turn'd Pa|pi&s;t the&s;e twenty years, and he too drawn rather by want and di&s;content, than any Conviction of Judg|ment.</P>
<P>'Tis true, had the late SHAM-PLOTS &s;ucceeded to the lea&s;t degree of Probability, there might have been &s;ome Colour for the&s;e Pro&s;ecutions; but &s;ince Heaven has unravelled tho&s;e <HI>Snares,</HI> and made the <HI>Innocence and Loyalty</HI> of the Di&s;&s;enters appear no le&s;s Illu&s;trious, than the Malice and <HI>Trea&s;ons</HI> of their Po|pi&s;h Enemies are Notorious, &s;till to &s;eek occa&s;ions to Buffet them, &s;eems like to gratify none, but tho&s;e E|nemies to our King and Religion who Contriv'd and were &s;o di&s;appointed in the former Helli&s;h Projects of fal&s;e Accu&s;ation and Perjuries.</P>
<P>But, if neither the <HI>unrea&s;onablene&s;s,</HI> nor the <HI>un&s;ea|&s;onablene&s;s,</HI> yet Experience how <HI>vain</HI> &s;uch Severities are to reach the Ends pretended, might be enough to divert the playing over again the &s;ame trouble&s;ome Game to no purpo&s;e. What Advantage did there ac|crew to this Honourable City, in STARLING's Mayoralty by all the Bu&s;le he occa&s;ion'd? Note; but on the contrary, great Charge, Confu&s;ion, decay of Trade, neglect of the Publick Wor&s;hip, <HI>&amp;c.</HI> What gain'd that Gentleman to him&s;elf, but <HI>Damage, Trouble,</HI> and <HI>Infamy?</HI> Remember, O Doughty Captain! I will not &s;ay the ends of <HI>Judas</HI> and other Antients of your
<PB REF="2" MS="y">Profe&s;&s;ion, but the Fate of your more Modern Prede|ce&s;&s;ors <HI>Sir</HI>&mdash;and <HI>Mar&s;hal;</HI> did not <HI>One</HI> of them <HI>poor, mi&s;erable, hated, and de&s;perate</HI> as <HI>Cain,</HI> breathe out his loath&s;ome Soul in a Jail; and the other live &s;corned and neglected, withou ever getting Two-pence by all his Devili&s;h Indu&s;try? VVas there one <HI>Di&s;&s;enter</HI> the le&s;s? nay were they not Increa&s;ed? Had the Church of <HI>England</HI> thereby any Pro&s;elytes worth owning? No, no, 'tis an Eternal Truth, That force may make many <HI>Hypocrites</HI> (and is any Church either the better or the &s;tronger for &s;uch?) but never one <HI>Real Convert.</HI> You may as well think to cure a man of the Cholick by <HI>Bru&s;hing his Cloaths,</HI> or fill a quart Pot with <HI>Syllo|gi&s;mes,</HI> as to Convince people by <HI>Di&s;tre&s;s and Mitti|mus,</HI> or Rectify Errors of the Under&s;tanding by Club-Law.</P>
<P>Who can but ob&s;erve, how jocund the <HI>Papi&s;ts</HI> are at the&s;e Pro&s;ecutions, and that none are &s;uch furious Zea|lots for driving all into <HI>Church</HI> as tho&s;e that very &s;el|dom come there <HI>them&s;elves?</HI> none &s;o fierce again&s;t Nonconformity, as tho&s;e who are <HI>Nonconformists</HI> to the Laws of God, and all the obligations of Sobriety, Mo|de&s;ty and Hone&s;ty. Among&s;t the&s;e <HI>Spiritual Whip|&s;ters,</HI> you, mo&s;t Redoubted Captain, Lead the Van; and to &s;hew your&s;elf accompli&s;ht (<HI>Tam Marte quam Mercurio,</HI> as the School-boy has it) with a <HI>Ma&s;ter&s;ome Pen</HI> as well as a <HI>dead-doing Sword,</HI> will needs divert the Town with the weekly Iliads of your Exploits in this Holy War. Where fir&s;t you begin with a kind of Preachment.&mdash;<NOTE N="*" PLACE="marg"><HI>Convent. Courant,</HI> Numb. 1.</NOTE> <HI>Had not the Actual Accompli&s;hment of the many</HI> DREADFUL PREDICTIONS AND DIREFULL PROPHECIES (that is, to &s;ay&mdash;<HI>Dread|ful</HI> and <HI>Dreadful Prophecies &amp; Prophecies,</HI>) &amp;c.&mdash;In the name of Wonder How long has the Devil turn'd <HI>Monk?</HI> Is <HI>Jack Hilton al&s;o among&s;t the Prophets?</HI> What more <HI>Life-Guard-men</HI> &s;et up for <HI>Cure of Souls?</HI> Is not this a Specimen of your <HI>Talent,</HI> how fit you may be &s;hortly for a <HI>Fat Benefice?</HI> If <HI>Whiggi&s;m</HI> were on the <HI>Ri&s;ing Ground,</HI> who knows but we might find our <HI>Divine Captain,</HI> a <HI>Lancepe&s;&s;ade</HI> to a <HI>Conventicle?</HI>&mdash;To be &s;e|rious, did not Truth a&s;&s;ure us, That the <HI>Devil</HI> him&s;elf hath more than once abu&s;ed and perverted Sacred Leaves, we had been a&s;toni&s;ht at &s;o many <HI>Texts</HI> from &s;uch an un|hallowed Mouth. But tell us by all thy hopes of <HI>Knight|hood,</HI> what <HI>Romi&s;h Prie&s;t</HI> framed that Canting Preface for thee? Or what &s;ecurity can you give, after all this Fury again&s;t <HI>Di&s;&s;enters,</HI> That you your&s;elf are not a <HI>Di&s;&s;enting Papi&s;t?</HI> What Pari&s;h-Church do you fre|quent? When and where did you u&s;e to receive the <HI>Sacrament</HI> before the &s;pace of four or five years pa&s;t? How &s;hall we know, that your Title of <HI>Prote&s;tant</HI> is not as fal&s;ly a&s;&s;um'd as that of <HI>Captain?</HI> Which un|doubtedly commenc'd at a Bawdy-Hou&s;e, for you never were capable of higher Preferment than a Common Trooper, where (till you were Ca&s;heir'd for &s;ome of your good qualities) <HI>your Pa&s;&s;ive Valour</HI> under the Di&s;|cipline of every mans <HI>Cane,</HI> was as famous, as now your Active Courage again&s;t the <HI>Phanaticks.</HI></P>
<P>However, be you <HI>Papi&s;t</HI> or <HI>Athei&s;t,</HI> we know who&s;e Drudgery you are doing; would not your Fooli&s;h Out-Cries of <HI>a Rent, a Schi&s;m, this Earthquake, this gaping Pit;</HI> &amp;c. have &s;erved much better in Queen <HI>Mally's</HI> days, had your Wor&s;hip but liv'd then to be one of bloody <HI>Bonners</HI> Catchpoles? Or may not any Prote&s;tant Church be E&s;teem'd as <HI>Seditious</HI> and <HI>&V;nlawfull</HI> under a <HI>Popi&s;h Succe&s;&s;or,</HI> as a Presbyterian Conventicle? would not you gladly, if you were in <HI>France,</HI> u&s;e your <HI>Sublime Commi&s;&s;ion and that Re&s;olution of the Council of Hea|ven,</HI> you talk of, To Puni&s;h the <HI>poor Hugonotes,</HI> if they would not Conform to the Church as there <HI>by Law E&s;tabli&s;ht?</HI> Our mo&s;t Gracious King, as he hath oft expre&s;s'd his Inclinations to Indulge <HI>tender Con&s;ciences,</HI> &s;o by his &s;pecial Favours to tho&s;e Per&s;ecuted <HI>French</HI> Pro|te&s;tants, declares that he e&s;teems them of the <HI>&s;ame Re|ligion with him&s;elf,</HI> (which al&s;o his Royal Grand-Fa|ther expre&s;ly affirmed in Print) and that he di&s;approves of undoing men for their Religion, and yet tho&s;e <HI>French</HI> Prote&s;tants are <HI>Calvini&s;ts</HI> and <HI>Presbyterians,</HI> names again&s;t which you vent your Spleen and Fury; and <HI>They</HI> and the&s;e People at home whom you are &s;o Bui&s;y to ruine for their Religion, are of the very &s;ame Tenets. So that it &s;eems a Riddle beyond <HI>Oedipus,</HI> if we &s;hould blame Per&s;ecutions abroad, and pitty and Harbour the Sufferers, and yet at the &s;ame time, practi&s;e in effect the &s;ame Severities on our own Countrey-men.</P>
<P>Can any thing be more ridiculou&s;ly Impu|dent than to tell us, <HI>You De&s;ign the Procure|ment of Peace among&s;t Chri&s;tians, e&s;pecially Pro|te&s;tants,</HI> and talk <HI>of your Zeal to &s;erve the King, Church and Peoples Peace?</HI> A pretty way of Procuring <HI>Peace</HI> indeed, to fall foul with Vio|lence on harmle&s;s People in the Wor&s;hip of the <HI>God of Peace;</HI> To dragg them from their Prayers with Tumults and Files of Mu&s;que|teers, and a whole Regiment of <HI>Oaths</HI> and <HI>Cur&s;es;</HI> To Jail their Per&s;ons and Spoil their Goods, and force Families to fly from their Habitations, and Compel one Neighbour a|gain&s;t his Con&s;cience to Pro&s;ecute another, and when he would gladly be <HI>Serving God at Church,</HI> fright him with five pound Forfei|ture, if he do not Omit his own <HI>Devotions,</HI> to di&s;turb <HI>tho&s;e</HI> of others, altogether as Loy|al, and much more Orthodox and Godly than their Malicious Pro&s;ecutors; If this be Pro|moting <HI>Peace,</HI> Commend me to the <HI>Spani&s;h Inqui&s;ition</HI> for a Peace-maker.</P>
<P>The remainder of your fir&s;t Libel, and tho&s;e that have been Publi&s;ht &s;ince, your <HI>Lies, Scandals, Prophanations of Scripture,</HI> &amp;c. &s;hall be Con&s;idered at another Opportunity, For I &s;hall not fail (God willing) to wait on you <HI>again next Po&s;t,</HI> and undeniably prove that the Hone&s;t Con&s;tables have no Cau&s;e to be <HI>afraid</HI> of your Malicious Menaces, In the In|terim becau&s;e I have in my Bapti&s;m Solemnly Renounc'd <HI>the Devil and all his Works,</HI> Ex|cu&s;e me if I do not Sub&s;cribe my &s;elf,</P>
<CLOSER><DATELINE><DATE>Aug. 19. 1682.</DATE></DATELINE>
<SIGNED>Your Servant, <HI>Philoeu&s;ebias Mi&s;onebulonides.</HI></SIGNED></CLOSER>
</DIV1>
</BODY>
<BACK>
<DIV1 TYPE="colophon">
<P>London, <HI>Printed for</HI> R. Lee. 1682.</P>
</DIV1>
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</TEXT>
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