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<DATE>2008-09-04</DATE>
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<NAME>Mona Logarbo</NAME>
<RESP>MURP</RESP>
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<ITEM>Proofed and reviewed as part of batch B080858.pdcc.</ITEM>
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<IDG S="marc" R="UM" ID="B06136">
<STC T="W">T1596</STC>
<BIBNO T="umi">99889888</BIBNO>
<VID>181459</VID>
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<TEXT LANG="eng">
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<DIV1 TYPE="poem">
<PB REF="1" MS="y"><!-- PDF PAGE 18 -->
<HEAD>TO THE PRAISE OF M^R^S^. CELLIER <HI>The Popi&s;h Midwife:</HI></HEAD>
<HEAD TYPE="sub">ON HER IN COMPARABLE BOOK.</HEAD>
<OPENER><SALUTE>MADAM,</SALUTE></OPENER>
<LG>
<L>THe brighte&s;t Glory of your Sex, and Age,</L>
<L>Than Pope&s;s <HI>Joan</HI> more Fair, than Pope&s;s <HI>Joan</HI> more &s;age,</L>
<L>We hop'd, if Catholicks &s;ucce&s;s had found,</L>
<L>To &s;ee your head with Triple-mitre crown'd;</L>
<L>That Head, which brave&s;t Acts can fir&s;t invent,</L>
<L>Then, if mi&s;carri'd, prove 'em never meant:</L>
<L>You're skill'd, what Natures Fabrick is below.</L>
<L>And all the &s;ecret Arts of Gropeing know,</L>
<L>Sexes defect with <HI>D-do</HI> can &s;upply,</L>
<L>And &s;o e&s;cape the fam'd Chair Porphury.</L>
<L>But though &s;ucce&s;s have fail'd your great De&s;erts,</L>
<L>The world admires your Ladi&s;hips Great Parts:</L>
<L>Rome once ador'd <HI>Lucina</HI>'s Deity,</L>
<L>But now Her Midwife-Godde&s;s you &s;hall be,</L>
<L>To help the Popes abortions, and by Merit</L>
<L>Deliver Nephews of the Fle&s;h, or Spirit.</L>
<L>You taught the <HI>Judges</HI> to interpret Laws,</L>
<L>Shewd Sergeant <HI>Maynard</HI> how to plead a Cau&s;e,</L>
<L>You turn'd, and wound, and Rogu'd 'em at your will,</L>
<L>'Twas Trial not of Life and Death, but Skill.</L>
<L>What though you had no Ca&s;h to bribe the <NOTE N="*" PLACE="marg">She malici|ously &s;ugge&s;ts (though a|gain&s;t her own Intere&s;t) the Jury cor|rupt, when all knew twas neither her own Inno|cence, nor their di&s;inte|grity, but meer defect of Evidence brought her off this time.</NOTE> Jury?</L>
<L>They'd fell their Con&s;ciences on Tru&s;t: Securi|Ty's</L>
<L>not expected now for &s;uch &s;mall ware;</L>
<L>Oaths are as cheap as Pins at <HI>Bartholmew-Fair.</HI></L>
<L>Be&s;ides, you'l give their Babes an ea&s;ie Birth,</L>
<L>Or, if them&s;elves are co&s;tive, help it forth:</L>
<L>For one good turn we know requires another,</L>
<L>As Right hand &s;cratches Left its yonger Brother.</L>
<L>Your Witne&s;&s;es would &s;wear <HI>again&s;t the King,</HI></L>
<L>And' <HI>gain&s;t the Law;</HI> they'd &s;wear like any thing.</L>
<L>Sweet Innocence! what Powerful charms it has</L>
<L>It works more Miracles, than Cro&s;s, or Ma&s;s,</L>
<L>As ea&s;ily turns all to Catholick</L>
<L>As Apes &s;hape Whelps with Beautifying Lick;</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>It makes men &s;wear the Compa&s;s Ten times or'e,</L>
<L>Then makes e'm &s;wear, they never &s;wore before:</L>
<L>This is the force of Innocence; and ne're yet</L>
<L>Did any mi&s;s't, that &s;in'd on Tick of Merit.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Heretical Apo&s;tate <HI>Dangerfield!</HI></L>
<L>Wor&s;t of Mankind! whom ha&s;t thou thus beguil'd!</L>
<L>Thou wert a hopeful, &s;erviceable man,</L>
<L>But now art turn'd White Devil of <HI>Japan.</HI></L>
<L>Pray tell me, where's thy Con&s;cience? or why</L>
<L>Mu&s;t Heretic Truth di&s;cover Sacred Lye?</L>
<L>Shew your Indulgence, Sacrilegious &s;lave!</L>
<L>May you &s;peak Truth, unle&s;s the Pope gives leave?</L>
<L>You credited? Incorrigible Sot!</L>
<L>Prove you were Loyal fir&s;t, and knew no Plot.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Thus your Book, <HI>Madam,</HI> has convinc'd the Nation,</L>
<L>And is one clear, entire Demon&s;tration:</L>
<L>It &s;hews the Meal-Tub-Plot's an errant cheat <HI>l</HI></L>
<L>For Tub is made of Wood, and meal of <HI>Wheat.</HI></L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>The cau&s;e wants no &s;uch Whifflers as <HI>T. G.</HI> is,</L>
<L>You mu&s;t defend it, not &s;uch clods as He is;</L>
<L>For no man yet could e're with&s;tand the Dint,</L>
<L>And cogency of Female Argument.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L><HI>Diva Ob&s;tretrix</HI>-O! hear the prayers</L>
<L>Of all the Je&s;uits and all the Friers!</L>
<L>Some Saints we've known forget us when they 're gone</L>
<L>To thee on Earth we make our early moan.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L><HI>Then pity us: exert thy Power</HI></L>
<L>To &s;ave us <HI>in this dangerous Hour.</HI></L>
<L>Thou ha&s;t <HI>to Life</HI> brought many men,</L>
<L><HI>Ah! Bring the Plot to Life agen.</HI></L>
</LG>
</DIV1>
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<BACK>
<DIV1 TYPE="colophon">
<P><HI>LONDON,</HI> Printed for <HI>Walter Davis</HI> in <HI>Amen-Corner,</HI> MDCLXXX.</P>
</DIV1>
</BACK>
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