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<DATE>2008-11-03</DATE>
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<NAME>Mona Logarbo</NAME>
<RESP>MURP</RESP>
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<ITEM>Proofed and reviewed as part of batch B080923.pdcc.</ITEM>
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<EEBO>
<IDG S="marc" R="UM" ID="B01941">
<STC T="W">C1307</STC>
<BIBNO T="umi">99887046</BIBNO>
<VID>183243</VID>
</IDG>
<TEXT LANG="eng">
<BODY>
<DIV1 TYPE="ballad">
<PB N="43" REF="1" MS="y"><!-- PDF PAGE 18 -->
<HEAD>The Catologue of Contented Cuckolds:</HEAD>
<HEAD TYPE="sub">OR, A <HI>Loving Society of Confe&s;&s;ing Brethren of the Forked Order,</HI> &amp;c. <HI> who being met together in a Tavern, declar'd each Man his Condition, re&s;olving to be contented, and drown'd Melacholly in a Gla&s;s of Necktar.</HI></HEAD>
<OPENER>To the Tune of, <HI>Fond Boy,</HI> &amp;c. or, <HI>Love's a &s;weet Pa&s;&s;ion,</HI> &amp;c.</OPENER>
<P><FIGURE>
</FIGURE></P>
<LG>
<L>FUll ten hone&s;t Trade&s;men did happen to meet,</L>
<L>In a Tavern, it &s;eems, about <HI>Leaden-hall-&s;treet;</HI></L>
<L>One a Brewer, a Baker, a Cook, and a Taylor;</L>
<L>With a Turner, a Gold-&s;mith, a Marchant, a Sayler;</L>
<L>Nay, a Doctor, a Surgeon which opens the vein:</L>
<L>The&s;e was good hone&s;t Trade&s;men, all Cuckolds in grain.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>My Wife, quoth the Brewer, is charming and fair,</L>
<L>She will ramble a broad, but I never know where;</L>
<L>Yet at midnight &s;ometimes &s;he returns with a Spark;</L>
<L>Nay, I &s;ometimes have found her at Put in the dark:</L>
<L>Yet I &s;wear by this Gla&s;s of rich &s;parkling Wine,</L>
<L>I will now be contented, and never repine.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>The Baker, he cry'd, There is <HI>Rob<GAP DESC="illegible" REASON="missing" EXTENT="1 letter">n</HI> my man,</L>
<L>He will play with his Dame, let me do what I can;</L>
<L>Once I happen'd to catch him in Bed by her &s;ide,</L>
<L>You'd a laught to have &s;een how I liquor'd his hide:</L>
<L>But I &s;wear by this Gla&s;s of rich &s;parkling Wine,</L>
<L>I will now be contented, and never repine.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>The Cook he cry'd out, I am none of the lea&s;t,</L>
<L>For when ever I go to a Dinner, or Fea&s;t,</L>
<L>There is brawny young <HI>William,</HI> the Poulterer's Man,</L>
<L>He will ki&s;s my &s;weet Wife for a Sop in the Pan:</L>
<L>Yet I &s;wear by this Gla&s;s of rich &s;parkling Wine,</L>
<L>I will now be contented, and never repine.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>The Taylor &s;at &s;ighing and &s;cratching his ears,</L>
<L>Quoth he, I have been Cuckold'd this three or four Years,</L>
<L>By a Sayle&s;man who gave my &s;weet wife her Silk-gown,</L>
<L>When he comes up my &s;tairs, I am forc'd to go down:</L>
<L>It cannot be avoided, I'll &s;wear by this Wine,</L>
<L>But I'll now be contented, and never repine.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>In troth, quoth the Turner, 'tis my very Ca&s;e,</L>
<L>For when her Gallant comes I am forc'd to give place.</L>
<L>To my work &s;traight I go where I labour and toy,</L>
<L>And I leave him to turn up my wife the mean while;</L>
<L>But my pocket with Genea's of Gold he doth <GAP DESC="illegible" REASON="missing" EXTENT="1 letter">ine,</L>
<L>Therefore I'll be contented, and never repine.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>O, then, &s;aid the Gold&s;mith, pray hear my complaint,</L>
<L>Sirs, I marry'd a Quaker &s;he &s;eem'd like a Saint,</L>
<L>Yet a Horn to the World I have rea&s;on to blow,</L>
<L>O the innocent Lamb has a dark way to go:</L>
<L>Yet I &s;wear by this Gla&s;s of rich &s;parkling Wine,</L>
<L>I will now be contented, and never repine.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>The Merchant he <GAP DESC="illegible" REASON="missing" EXTENT="1 letter">ry'd, When I go to the <HI>Change,</HI></L>
<L>With a Ma&s;ter of Mu&s;ick my Lady will range,</L>
<L>To the Tavern, and thereon her Lute he mu&s;t play,</L>
<L>She may dance, but I'm &s;ure I the Mu&s;ick mu&s;t pay</L>
<L>With my Trea&s;ure his pockets &s;he often will line,</L>
<L>Yet contented I'll be, 'tis in vain to repine.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>The Saylor cry'd, Brothers, hear me if you plea&s;e,</L>
<L>Three or four Years together I plough'd the rough Seas.</L>
<L>In my ab&s;cence my Wife had a Daughter and Son,</L>
<L>And I found a great Panyer as big as a Sun:</L>
<L>I cry'd out, My &s;weet <HI>Nancy</HI> 'faith this is fine?</L>
<L>Be contented, &s;aid &s;he, 'tis in vain to repine.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Come, come, &s;aid the Docter, the be&s;t of us all</L>
<L>Cannot be our Wives Keepers, they are &s;ubject to fall:</L>
<L>Friends by woful Experience I &s;peak it indeed,</L>
<L>I have one that will help a kind Friend at his need:</L>
<L>Yet I &s;wear by this Gla&s;s of rich &s;parkling Wine:</L>
<L>I will now be contented, and never repine.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>The Surgeon he cry'd, Sirs, I'll tell you a je&s;t,</L>
<L>For I'm &s;ure I am a Cuckold as well as the be&s;t:</L>
<L>Once I follow'd my Wife and her Spark to <HI>Horn-fair,</HI></L>
<L>Where I took them both napping as <HI>Mo&s;s</HI> catcht his Mare,</L>
<L>He was letting her Blood near the Leg and the Loyn;</L>
<L>I was almo&s;t Horn-mad, I began to repine.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Since we are ten Cuckolds here all on a row,</L>
<L>We will drink each a Bottle before we do go,</L>
<L>For to drown Melancholly in liquor of Life;</L>
<L>He's a fool that will weep for the Sins of his Wife;</L>
<L>Let us tipple Canary, and never complain,</L>
<L>There is better than we that are Cuckolds in grain.</L>
</LG>
</DIV1>
</BODY>
<BACK>
<DIV1 TYPE="colophon">
<P><HI>LONDON:</HI> Printed for <HI>J. Conyers,</HI> next door to the Standard Tavern, in <HI>Leice&s;ter-fields.</HI></P>
</DIV1>
</BACK>
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