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<DATE>2008-08-06</DATE>
<RESPSTMT>
<NAME>John Pas</NAME>
<RESP>MURP</RESP>
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<ITEM>Proofed and reviewed as part of batch B080715.pdcc.</ITEM>
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<EEBO>
<IDG S="marc" R="UM" ID="B01792">
<STC T="W">B4830</STC>
<BIBNO T="umi">99887005</BIBNO>
<VID>181697</VID>
</IDG>
<TEXT LANG="eng">
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<DIV1 TYPE="poem">
<PB REF="1" MS="y"><!-- PDF PAGE 2 -->
<HEAD>A Broad-&s;ide again&s;t COFFEE; Or, the Marriage of the Turk.</HEAD>
<LG>
<L><HI>COFFEE,</HI> a kind of <HI>Turki&s;h Renegade,</HI></L>
<L>Has late a match with <HI>Chri&s;tian water</HI> made;</L>
<L>At fir&s;t between them happen'd a Demur,</L>
<L>Yet joyn'd they were, but not without great <HI>&s;tir;</HI></L>
<L>For both &s;o cold were, and &s;o faintly met,</L>
<L>The <HI>Turki&s;h Hymen</HI> in his <HI>Turbant</HI> &s;wet.</L>
<L><HI>Coffee</HI> was cold as <HI>Earth, Water</HI> as <HI>Thames,</HI></L>
<L>And &s;tood in need of recommending Flames;</L>
<L>For each of them &s;teers a contrary cour&s;e,</L>
<L>And of them&s;elves they &s;ue out a Divorce.</L>
<L><HI>Coffee</HI> &s;o brown as berry does appear,</L>
<L>Too &s;warthy for a Nymph &s;o fair, &s;o clear:</L>
<L>And yet his &s;ails he did for <HI>England</HI> hoi&s;t,</L>
<L>Though cold and dry, to court the cold and moi&s;t;</L>
<L>If there be ought we can as love admit;</L>
<L>'Tis a hot love, and la&s;teth but a fit.</L>
<L>For this indeed the cau&s;e is of their &s;tay,</L>
<L><HI>Newca&s;tle's</HI> bowels warmer are than they:</L>
<L>The melting Nymph di&s;tills her &s;elf to do't,</L>
<L>Whil&s;t the Slave <HI>Coffee</HI> mu&s;t be <HI>beaten</HI> to't:</L>
<L>Incorporate him clo&s;e as clo&s;e may be,</L>
<L>Pau&s;e but a while, and he is none of he;</L>
<L>Which for a truth, and not a &s;tory tells,</L>
<L><HI>No Faith is to be kept with Infidels.</HI></L>
<L>Sure he &s;u&s;pects, and &s;huns her as a Whore,</L>
<L>And loves, and kills, like the <HI>Venetian Moor;</HI></L>
<L>Bold A&s;ian Brat! with &s;peed our confines flee;</L>
<L><HI>Water,</HI> though common, is too good for thee.</L>
<L>Sure <HI>Coffee's</HI> vext he has the breeches lo&s;t,</L>
<L>For &s;he's above, and he lies undermo&s;t;</L>
<L>What &s;hall I add but this? (and &s;ure 'tis right)</L>
<L>The Groom is <HI>heavy,</HI> cau&s;e the Bride is <HI>light.</HI></L>
<L>This canting <HI>Coffee</HI> has his Crew enricht,</L>
<L>And both the <HI>Water</HI> and the <HI>Men</HI> bewicht.</L>
<L>A Coachman was the fir&s;t (here) <HI>Coffee</HI> made,</L>
<L>And ever &s;ince the re&s;t <HI>drive on</HI> the trade;</L>
<L><HI>Me no good Engala&s;h!</HI> and &s;ure enough,</L>
<L>He plaid the Quack to &s;alve his Stygian &s;tuff;</L>
<L><HI>Ver boon for de &s;tomach, de Cough, de Pti&s;ick,</HI></L>
<L>And I believe him, for it looks like Phy&s;ick.</L>
<L><HI>Coffee</HI> a cru&s;t is charkt into a coal,</L>
<L>The &s;mell and ta&s;te of the Mock <HI>China</HI> bowl;</L>
<L>Where huff and puff, they labor out their lungs,</L>
<L>Le&s;t <HI>Dives</HI> like they &s;hould bewail their tongues.</L>
<L>And yet they tell ye that it will not burn,</L>
<L>Though on the Jury Bli&s;ters you return;</L>
<L>Who&s;e furious heat does make the water ri&s;e,</L>
<L>And &s;till through the Alembicks of your eyes.</L>
<L>Dread and de&s;ire, ye fall to't &s;nap by &s;nap,</L>
<L>As hungry Dogs do &s;calding porrige lap,</L>
<L>But to cure Drunkards it has got great Fame;</L>
<L><HI>Po&s;&s;et</HI> or <HI>Porrige,</HI> will't not do the &s;ame?</L>
<L>Con&s;u&s;ion huddles all into one Scene,</L>
<L>Like <HI>Noah</HI>'s Ark, the clean and the unclean.</L>
<L>But now, alas! the Drench has credit got,</L>
<L>And he's no Gentleman that drinks it not;</L>
<L>That &s;uch a <HI>Dwarf</HI> &s;hould ri&s;e to &s;uch a &s;tature!</L>
<L>But Cu&s;tom is but a remove from Nature.</L>
<L>A <HI>little</HI> Di&s;h, and a <HI>large</HI> Coffee-hou&s;e,</L>
<L>What is it, but a <HI>Mountain</HI> and a <HI>Mou&s;e?</HI></L>
<L>From Bawdy-hou&s;es differs thus your hap;</L>
<L><HI>They</HI> give their <HI>tails, you</HI> give their <HI>tongues</HI> a <HI>clap.</HI></L>
<L><HI>Mens humana novitatis avidi&s;sima.</HI></L>
</LG>
</DIV1>
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<BACK>
<DIV1 TYPE="colophon">
<P><HI>London,</HI> Printed for <HI>J. L. Anno Dom.</HI> 1672.</P>
</DIV1>
</BACK>
</TEXT>
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