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<DATE>2008-10-04</DATE>
<RESPSTMT>
<NAME>John Pas</NAME>
<RESP>MURP</RESP>
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<ITEM>Proofed and reviewed as part of batch B080844.pdcc.</ITEM>
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<EEBO>
<IDG S="marc" R="UM" ID="B04307">
<STC T="W">L743</STC>
<BIBNO T="umi">99884977</BIBNO>
<VID>182780</VID>
</IDG>
<TEXT LANG="eng">
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<DIV1 TYPE="ballad">
<PB REF="1" MS="y"><!-- PDF PAGE 18 -->
<HEAD>The Lavvyers Plea, In the behalf of Young TOM of LINCOLN. Being an An&s;wer to a late Scandalous Ballad, Entituled, <HI>Merry News from Lincolns-Inn.</HI> Adre&s;t to the Author of the &s;aid Ballad, by <HI>Tom of Lincoln.</HI></HEAD>
<OPENER>To the Tune of, <HI>Help Lords and Commons, &amp;c.</HI></OPENER>
<P><FIGURE>
</FIGURE></P>
<LG>
<L>LOrd help us all! what Story's this,</L>
<L>that makes &s;o great a &s;tir?</L>
<L>For&s;ooth who ever keeps a Mi&s;s,</L>
<L>mu&s;t fear this barking Cut;</L>
<L>As if no place but <HI>Lincolns-Inn,</HI></L>
<L>did harbour &s;he de&s;troyers,</L>
<L>With Puritans he might begin,</L>
<L>they wench as well as Lawyers:</L>
<L><HI>You</HI> Nonconformi&s;t-<HI>crop-ears, peace,</HI></L>
<L><HI>and rail not again&s;t Wenchers,</HI></L>
<L><HI>VVith you,</HI> Fanatick <HI>Babes encrea&s;e,</HI></L>
<L><HI>far more than with the Benchers.</HI></L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Thou who want'&s;t judgement talk'&s;t of it,</L>
<L>like a vile canting Varlet,</L>
<L>And exerci&s;e&s;t thy No-wit</L>
<L>again&s;t an hone&s;t Harlot,</L>
<L>Out of our hou&s;e &s;hould &s;he depart,</L>
<L>&s;he'l learn to be more fickle,</L>
<L>Lifting up whori&s;h eyes with Art,</L>
<L>at zealous Conventicle.</L>
<L><HI>You,</HI> &amp;c.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>She went up &s;tairs thou &s;aye&s;t at ten,</L>
<L>and what of that you Tony,</L>
<L>At twelve the learned'&s;t of your men</L>
<L>tip'd over the Balcony:</L>
<L>To this &s;o &s;trange a &s;ight there came</L>
<L>a hundred pious &s;ticklers,</L>
<L>But all went off again with &s;hame,</L>
<L>like crop-ear'd Conventiclers:</L>
<L><HI>You,</HI> &amp;c.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>It &s;eems he call'd him&s;elf a Cat,</L>
<L>and would have been a gibing,</L>
<L>Her husband under&s;tanding that,</L>
<L>came in and &s;poil'd his nibing:</L>
<L>Says he, Cats fall upon their feet,</L>
<L>when downwards they are tumbled,</L>
<L>So down he threw him in the &s;treet,</L>
<L>till his proud fle&s;h was humbled:</L>
<L><HI>You,</HI> &amp;c.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>But for the wench and Laundre&s;s <HI>Ruth,</HI></L>
<L>I mu&s;t confe&s;s the &s;tory,</L>
<L>That there was &s;omething in't of truth,</L>
<L>but all is for our glory:</L>
<L>We keep the Child we have begot,</L>
<L>and able are to bear it,</L>
<L>Whil&s;t others, do, or do it not,</L>
<L>are ready to for&s;wear it:</L>
<L><HI>You,</HI> &amp;c.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Is not this better than to go</L>
<L>at night to the Peatches,</L>
<L>Reeling and rambling to and fro,</L>
<L>in danger of the VVatches:</L>
<L>And meet at la&s;t a drab or &s;o,</L>
<L>with Petticoats bedagled,</L>
<L>Or with a pocky Barren-doe,</L>
<L>that from the Park has &s;tragled:</L>
<L><HI>You,</HI> &amp;c.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>VVoe and alas! your Rudder's &s;poil'd,</L>
<L>I pitty your mi&s;hap,</L>
<L>And though you get not her with child,</L>
<L>you get your &s;elf with clap:</L>
<L>Then you go home and cur&s;e the whore,</L>
<L>with all her Art-full dry-blows,</L>
<L>Finding one pox to co&s;t you more,</L>
<L>than keeping twenty by-blows:</L>
<L><HI>You</HI> Nonconformi&s;t-<HI>crop-ears, peace,</HI></L>
<L><HI>and rail not again&s;t VVenchers,</HI></L>
<L><HI>VVith you,</HI> Fanatick <HI>Babes encrea&s;e,</HI></L>
<L><HI>for more than with the Benchers.</HI></L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Thus you abroad with hazard roam,</L>
<L>to find out Harlots ful&s;ome,</L>
<L>VVhile we more &s;afely prey at home,</L>
<L>upon a Girl that's whol&s;ome:</L>
<L>Look to your &s;elves, your ca&s;e is wor&s;e,</L>
<L>dry up your &s;lubbring Ink-horn,</L>
<L>I'le warrant you we'l find a Nur&s;e,</L>
<L>for our young <HI>Yom-a-Lincoln;</HI></L>
<L><HI>You,</HI> &amp;c.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>A Bencher's Grand-child! you mi&s;take,</L>
<L>you &s;illy Rogue, I &s;corn ye,</L>
<L>If a Lawyers Son a Lawyer makes,</L>
<L>his Ba&s;tard's an Attourney:</L>
<L>And thus our <HI>Tom</HI> in little time,</L>
<L>&s;hall grow to be our Brother,</L>
<L>As a Bawds Daughter whores betime,</L>
<L>t'enrich her grea&s;ie Mother;</L>
<L><HI>You,</HI> &amp;c.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>As for the woman, I confe&s;s</L>
<L>we wrapt her in a Gown,</L>
<L>And who&s;oever had done le&s;s,</L>
<L>had been an arrant Clown;</L>
<L>For being to be call'd to'th bar,</L>
<L>and turn a female pleader,</L>
<L>'Twas rea&s;on we &s;hould have a care,</L>
<L>&s;he &s;hould not &s;hame our Reader;</L>
<L><HI>You,</HI> &amp;c.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Long may &s;he live a merry crack,</L>
<L>brisk, airy, gay, and fruitful,</L>
<L>She never any thing &s;hall lack,</L>
<L>&s;o long as &s;he is youthful:</L>
<L>Grown old, her Daughters &s;hall turn up,</L>
<L>to plea&s;e our youthful VVenchers,</L>
<L>As when we've eat our Commons up,</L>
<L>we fall upon our Trenchers;</L>
<L><HI>You,</HI> &amp;c.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>As for young <HI>Tom</HI> I doubt is not,</L>
<L>he'l make &s;ome Learned &s;park,</L>
<L>More wit he has already got,</L>
<L>then an Attourneys Clerk;</L>
<L>Before that ever he could &s;peak,</L>
<L>he &s;u'd for Alimony,</L>
<L>In&s;tead of Mothers-milk, he'd take</L>
<L>no Liquor but Stipony;</L>
<L><HI>You,</HI> &amp;c.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Then blame not us of <HI>Lincolns-Inn,</HI></L>
<L>for what has hapned to us,</L>
<L>Such wenching is a gainful &s;in,</L>
<L>that never will undoe us;</L>
<L>For we &s;hall keep the bantling cheap,</L>
<L>among &s;o many pur&s;es,</L>
<L>Like Citizens that take a leap</L>
<L>among&s;t their Country Nur&s;es.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>God ble&s;s the King and Queen, likewi&s;e</L>
<L>the Hou&s;e of Lords and Commons,</L>
<L>But truly we &s;hall ne'r de&s;pi&s;e</L>
<L>&s;ome thing that is a womans,</L>
<L>For &s;hould she Laws cart every one,</L>
<L>that loves a little cracking,</L>
<L>The City would be quite undone,</L>
<L>their VVives mu&s;t all be packing.</L>
</LG>
<TRAILER>FINIS.</TRAILER>
</DIV1>
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