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<DATE>2008-08-06</DATE>
<RESPSTMT>
<NAME>John Pas</NAME>
<RESP>MURP</RESP>
</RESPSTMT>
<ITEM>Proofed and reviewed as part of batch B080715.pdcc.</ITEM>
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<EEBO>
<IDG S="marc" R="UM" ID="B01793">
<STC T="W">B4831</STC>
<BIBNO T="umi">99884997</BIBNO>
<VID>182806</VID>
</IDG>
<TEXT LANG="eng">
<BODY>
<DIV1 TYPE="poem">
<PB REF="1" MS="y"><!-- PDF PAGE 3 -->
<HEAD>A Broad-Side again&s;t Marriage Directed to that Incon&s;iderable Annimal, Called, A HUSBAND.</HEAD>
<LG>
<L>HUsband! thou dull, unpitty'd Mi&s;creant!</L>
<L>Wedded to noi&s;e, mi&s;ery, and want:</L>
<L>Sold an Eternal Va&s;&s;al for thy Life;</L>
<L>Oblig'd to Cheri&s;h, and to hate thy Wife:</L>
<L>Drudge on till Fifty at thy own expence;</L>
<L>Breath out thy Life in one impertinence:</L>
<L>Repeat thy Leath'd embraces ev'ry Night,</L>
<L>Prompted to act by Duty, not delight:</L>
<L>Chri&s;ten the froward Bantling once a Year,</L>
<L>And carefully thy Spurious I&s;&s;ue rear:</L>
<L>Go once a Week to &s;ee the Brat at Nur&s;e,</L>
<L>And let the Young Impo&s;tor drain thy Pur&s;e:</L>
<L>Hedge-Sparrow like, what Cuckows have begot</L>
<L>Do thou maintain, incorrigible Sot.</L>
<L>O I cou'd Cur&s;e the Pimp! who can do le&s;s?</L>
<L>He's beneath Pity, and beyond Redre&s;s,</L>
<L>Pox on him! let him go; what can I &s;ay?</L>
<L>Anathema's on him are thrown away;</L>
<L>The wretch is Marry'd, and has known the wor&s;t;</L>
<L>And now his ble&s;&s;ing is he can't be Cur&s;t.</L>
<L>Marry'd! O Hell and Furies! Name it not:</L>
<L>Hence! hence, you Holy Cheats! a plot, a plot!</L>
<L>Marriage is but a Licenc'd way to Sin;</L>
<L>A Nooze to catch Religions Woodcocks in:</L>
<L>Or the Nick-name of &s;ome malicious Fiend,</L>
<L>Begot in Hell to per&s;ecute man-kind.</L>
<L>Tis the De&s;troyer of our Peace and Health,</L>
<L>Mi&s;-&s;pender of our Strength, our Time and VVealth:</L>
<L>The Enemy to Mirth, Wit, Valour, all</L>
<L>That we can Vertuous, Good, or Plea&s;ant call,</L>
<L>By Day, tis nothing but a needle&s;s Noi&s;e;</L>
<L>By Night, the Eccho of forgotten Joyes;</L>
<L>Abroad, the Sport and VVonder of the Crowd,</L>
<L>At home, the hourly Breach of what we Vow'd:</L>
<L>In Youth, tis Opium to our Lu&s;tful Rage,</L>
<L>Which &s;leeps awhile, but wakes again in Age:</L>
<L>It heaps on all men much (but u&s;ele&s;s) Care;</L>
<L>For, with more trouble, they le&s;s happy are:</L>
<L>It Checks Youth; &s;hortens Life, and taints the mind;</L>
<L>Our Sen&s;es Palls; and &s;trikes our Rea&s;on Blind.</L>
<L>Ye Gods! that man by his own &s;lavi&s;h Law,</L>
<L>Should on him&s;elf &s;uch inconvenience draw!</L>
<L>If he wou'd wi&s;er natures Laws obey,</L>
<L>Tho&s;e Chalk him out a far more plea&s;ant way:</L>
<L>She bids us freely look, like, and enjoy;</L>
<L>For Love, when made a Duty, does but Cloy.</L>
<L>Therefore, when lu&s;ty Youth, and Wine con&s;pire,</L>
<L>To fan the Bloud into a gen'rous fire;</L>
<L>We mu&s;t not think the Gallant will endure,</L>
<L>The prurient Ragings of his Calenture;</L>
<L>Nor always in his &s;ingle plea&s;ures burn,</L>
<L>Though Natures hand-maid &s;ometimes &s;erves the turn:</L>
<L>No; He mu&s;t have a &s;prightly youthfull Wench,</L>
<L>In equal Flouds of Love his flame to quench:</L>
<L>One that will hold him with her Cla&s;ping Arm,</L>
<L>And in that Circle, all his Spirits Charm:</L>
<L>That with New Motion, and unpractic'd Art,</L>
<L>Can rai&s;e his Soul, and re-en&s;nare his Heart.</L>
<L>Hence Spring the Noble, Fortunate, and Great,</L>
<L>Always begot in Pa&s;&s;ion, and in Heat:</L>
<L>But the dull Off-&s;pring of the Marriage bed,</L>
<L>What is it but a Humane &s;hape in Lead?</L>
<L>A &s;otti&s;h Lump, engendred of all Ills,</L>
<L>Begot (like Cats) again&s;t the Parents wills,</L>
<L>If it be Ba&s;tardiz'd tis doubly &s;poyl'd;</L>
<L>The Mothers fears entail'd upon the Child;</L>
<L>Thus, whether Illegitimate or not,</L>
<L>Cowards and Fools in Wedlock are begot.</L>
<L>Let no enobled Soul him&s;elf deba&s;e,</L>
<L>By Lawful ways to Da&s;tardize his Race:</L>
<L>But, if he mu&s;t pay Natures Debt in kind,</L>
<L>(To Check the growing danger) let him find</L>
<L>Some willing Female out; what though &s;he be</L>
<L>The very Scum and Dregs of Infamy?</L>
<L>Though &s;he be Lincy-Wolcy, Bawd and Whore;</L>
<L>Clo&s;e-&s;tool to Venus; Natures Common-&s;hore;</L>
<L>Impudence, Folly, Brandy, and Di&s;ea&s;e;</L>
<L>The Sunday Crack for Sub-urb Prentices;</L>
<L>VVhat then; &s;he's better than a VVife by half,</L>
<L>And, if thou'rt &s;till Unmarry'd <GAP DESC="illegible" EXTENT="3 letters">ll thou'rt &s;afe;</L>
<L>VVith VVhores thou can&s;t but Venture what, if lo&s;t,</L>
<L>May be Redeem'd agen with Care, and Co&s;t:</L>
<L>But a Damn'd Wife b' inevitable Fate,</L>
<L>De&s;troys Soul, Body, Credit, and E&s;tate.</L>
</LG>
<TRAILER>FINIS.</TRAILER>
</DIV1>
</BODY>
<BACK>
<DIV1 TYPE="colophon">
<P>Printed in the Year, 1675.</P>
</DIV1>
</BACK>
</TEXT>
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