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<DATE>2008-07-06</DATE>
<RESPSTMT>
<NAME>Mona Logarbo</NAME>
<RESP>MURP</RESP>
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<ITEM>Proofed and reviewed as part of batch B080621.pdcc.</ITEM>
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<EEBO>
<IDG S="marc" R="UM" ID="B04788">
<STC T="W">p3007</STC>
<BIBNO T="umi">99885065</BIBNO>
<VID>182922</VID>
</IDG>
<TEXT LANG="eng">
<BODY>
<DIV1 TYPE="poem">
<PB REF="1" MS="y"><!-- PDF PAGE 5 -->
<HEAD>PORTSMOUTH OBSERVED and DESCRIBED.</HEAD>
<OPENER><DATELINE><DATE><ADD>27. Sept. 1684.</ADD></DATE></DATELINE></OPENER>
<LG>
<L><HI>POrt&s;mouth,</HI> a place by Nature, and by Art,</L>
<L>That need not care for any Foe a fart:</L>
<L>Well Gari&s;on'd, well Gunn'd, well Fortifi'd;</L>
<L>Seas wait on her every flowing Tide:</L>
<L>Stretching their Arms for to embrace the Wa&s;te</L>
<L>Of <HI>Port&s;mouth,</HI> (kind as Seas, and ju&s;t as cha&s;te).</L>
<L>Its Harbour's large, Convenient and Safe;</L>
<L>Brave Lakes and Roads, as any Town can have.</L>
<L>Royal Wood Ca&s;tles here, and dayly &s;een,</L>
<L>And here King <HI>Charles,</HI> God ble&s;s Him, woo'd the Queen.</L>
<L>Thus far all's good you hear; but yet, becau&s;e</L>
<L>Sweet meats oft-times do meet with &s;owr Sawce;</L>
<L>I'le turn it in&s;ide out, and you &s;hall view</L>
<L>It like a Pilgrim &s;carcely worth a <HI>q:</HI></L>
<L>Do not believe me (for perhaps I lye;)</L>
<L>Seeing's believing, come your &s;elves and try.</L>
<L>An Egg a penny, that is cheap and good,</L>
<L>Re&s;pecting rates here paid for Country food.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Here take a ta&s;t, and by this Bill of fare,</L>
<L>Judg how Tarpallings entertained are;</L>
<L>Two &s;illy <HI>Widgins,</HI> that a Shilling co&s;t,</L>
<L>Are reckoned to us half a Crown when Ro&s;t.</L>
<L>A pair of <HI>Brand-Gee&s;e</HI> (big as <HI>Mallards</HI> ju&s;t)</L>
<L>Shall co&s;t four Shilling, when on Spit they'r tru&s;t.</L>
<L>And a poor Country Calves head cannot be</L>
<L>Boil'd, Di&s;h'd, and Garni&s;h'd, under three-times three:</L>
<L>A little <HI>Crows</HI> ne&s;t (which they Fagots name,</L>
<L>Shall one poor Reck'ning above a Crown inflame.</L>
<L>The&s;e (and the like) are cau&s;es that I &s;wear,</L>
<L>Fle&s;h, Fi&s;h, and every thing we eat is dear,</L>
<L>Be&s;ides the Sawce (and there's the Devil and all:</L>
<L>Beer's puddle thick, and Wine is woful &s;mall.</L>
<L>What the Women be (in faith I tell no lye)</L>
<L>I cannot tell, becau&s;e I ne'r did try.</L>
<L>The Airs unwhol&s;ome, Barren as the Sand;</L>
<L>The People &s;lothful, nothing under&s;tand,</L>
<L>But &s;acred thir&s;t of Gold, and that they love</L>
<L>Better than Life, or Soul, or God above.</L>
<L>For I mu&s;t tell you, Their Religion is</L>
<L>Of <HI>Argentora,</HI> that's their only bli&s;s.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Of Fle&s;h here's plenty, and Friends if you plea&s;e,</L>
<L>I will de&s;cribe them, they are &s;uch as the&s;e:</L>
<L>Of Rationals, here's Cheats, Bawds, and a trade</L>
<L>Of men call'd Cuckolds (&s;uch as God ne're made).</L>
<L>Pardon me Ma&s;ters, if my Mu&s;e be &s;harp,</L>
<L>Gall'd Jades will kick, and none but Momes will carp.</L>
<L>Of Bruits here's Foxes, Wolfs, and A&s;&s;es &s;tore,</L>
<L>Fat Oxen, Calfs, why not a Bull and Boar?</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Of Fowl here's al&s;o choice, the <HI>Gripe,</HI> the <HI>Gull,</HI></L>
<L>The <HI>Cormorant</HI> that would <HI>Humber</HI> and <HI>Hull;</HI></L>
<L>Swallow at once; the <HI>Woodcock</HI> and the <HI>Owl,</HI></L>
<L>The <HI>Goo&s;e,</HI> the <HI>Buzzard,</HI> and of le&s;&s;er Fowl.</L>
<L>The <HI>Jay,</HI> the <HI>Parrot,</HI> and the <HI>Nightingale,</HI></L>
<L>That &s;ings full &s;weetly (but they often quail,)</L>
<L>With hundreds more; but if you ask what Fi&s;h</L>
<L>Is here; draw near I pray, and chu&s;e your Di&s;h.</L>
<L>Here's a Mon&s;trous great Voracious <HI>Whale,</HI></L>
<L>That lives on Money, &s;wallows the Devil and all.</L>
<L>A &s;hole of <HI>Sharks,</HI> great <HI>Cod,</HI> poor <HI>Jack, Old-Ling,</HI></L>
<L><HI>Maids,</HI> (but they'r &s;mall) and <HI>Syrens</HI> &s;ometimes &s;ing.</L>
<L>If <HI>Port&s;mouth</HI> for its Plenty reck'ned be</L>
<L>A Heaven to any, 'tis a Hell to me.</L>
<L>God ble&s;s me hence, and keep hence every Friend:</L>
<L>Then as I did begin, I'le &s;weetly end;</L>
<L><HI>Port&s;mouth</HI> is &s;trong, &s;o nature fir&s;t did make it;</L>
<L>Art made it &s;tronger; But the Devil take it.</L>
</LG>
</DIV1>
</BODY>
<BACK>
<DIV1 TYPE="colophon">
<P><HI>LONDON:</HI> Printed for <HI>Randall Taylor,</HI> near <HI>Stationers Hall,</HI> 1684.</P>
</DIV1>
</BACK>
</TEXT>
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