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<DATE>2008-11-04</DATE>
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<NAME>Mona Logarbo</NAME>
<RESP>MURP</RESP>
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<ITEM>Proofed and reviewed as part of batch B080924.pdcc.</ITEM>
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<IDG S="marc" R="UM" ID="B02369">
<STC T="W">c5985</STC>
<BIBNO T="umi">99886984</BIBNO>
<VID>181641</VID>
</IDG>
<TEXT LANG="eng">
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<DIV1 TYPE="poem">
<PB REF="1" MS="y"><!-- PDF PAGE 19 -->
<HEAD>The Converts.</HEAD>
<LG>
<L>I Did intend in Rhimes Heroick</L>
<L>To write of Converts Apo&s;tolick,</L>
<L>De&s;cribe their per&s;ons and their &s;hames,</L>
<L>And leave the World to gue&s;s their Names:</L>
<L><UNCLEAR>But</UNCLEAR> soon I thought the &s;coundrel Theme</L>
<L>Was for Heroick Song too mean;</L>
<L>Their Characters we'll then rehear&s;e</L>
<L>In <UNCLEAR>Barle&s;que</UNCLEAR>, or in Dogrel Ver&s;e;</L>
<L>Of Earls, of Lords, of Knights I'll &s;ing,</L>
<L>That chang'd their Faith to plea&s;e their King.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>The fir&s;t an Antiquated Lord,</L>
<L>A walking Mummy in a word,</L>
<L>Moves cloath'd in Plai&s;ters Aromatick,</L>
<L>And Flannel, by the help of a Stick,</L>
<L>And like a grave and noble Peer,</L>
<L>Outlives his Sen&s;e by Sixty year;</L>
<L>And what an hone&s;t Man would anger,</L>
<L>Outlives the Fort he built at <HI>Tanger;</HI></L>
<L>By Pox, and Whores long &s;ince undone,</L>
<L>Yet loves it &s;till, and fumbles on:</L>
<L>Why he's a Favourite few can gue&s;s,</L>
<L>Some &s;ay it's for his Ugline&s;s;</L>
<L>For often Mon&s;ters (being rare)</L>
<L>Are valued equal to the Fair:</L>
<L>For in his Mi&s;tri&s;&s;es, kind <HI>James</HI></L>
<L>Loves Ugline&s;s in its extreams;</L>
<L>But others &s;ay 'tis plainly &s;een,</L>
<L>'Tis for the Choice he made o' th' Queen;</L>
<L>When he the King and Nation ble&s;t</L>
<L>With Off-Spring of the Hou&s;e of <HI>E&s;t;</HI></L>
<L>A Dame who&s;e Affability</L>
<L>Equals her Genero&s;ity:</L>
<L>Oh! Well match'd Pair, who frugally are bent</L>
<L>To live without the aids of Parliament.</L>
<L>All this and more the Peer perform'd,</L>
<L>Then to compleat his Virtues, turn'd;</L>
<L>But 'twas not Con&s;cience, or Devotion,</L>
<L>The hopes of Riches or Promotion</L>
<L>That made his Lord&s;hip fir&s;t to vary,</L>
<L>But twas to plea&s;e his Daughter <HI>Mary;</HI></L>
<L>And &s;he to make retaliation,</L>
<L>Is full as lewd in her Vocation.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>The next a Caravanni&s;h Thief,</L>
<L>A lazy Ma&s;s of damn'd Rump Beef;</L>
<L>Prodigious Guts, no Brains at all,</L>
<L>But very Rhynocerical,</L>
<L>Was Married ere the Cub was lickt,</L>
<L>And now not worthy to be kickt,</L>
<L>By Jockeys bubbled, forc'd to fly,</L>
<L>To &s;ave his Coat, to <HI>Italy,</HI></L>
<L>Where <HI>Haynes</HI> and he, that virtuous Youth,</L>
<L>Equal in Honor, Sen&s;e, and Truth;</L>
<L>By Rea&s;on and pure Con&s;cience urged,</L>
<L>Pa&s;t Sins by Abjuration purged:</L>
<L>But 'tis believed both Rogue and Peer,</L>
<L>More worldly Motives had to veer;</L>
<L>The Scoundrel Plebeians &s;werving</L>
<L>Was to &s;ecure him&s;elf from &s;tarving;</L>
<L>And that which made the Peer a Starter,</L>
<L>Was hope of a long wi&s;h'd for Garter.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Next comes a Peer who &s;its at Helm,</L>
<L>And long has &s;teer'd the giddy Realm</L>
<L>With Taylors motion, mein, and grace,</L>
<L>But a right State&s;man in Grimace;</L>
<LG>
<L>The Sneer, the Cringe, and then by turns,</L>
<L>The dully grave, the Frowns, and Scorns,</L>
<L>Promi&s;es all, but nought performs:</L>
</LG>
<L>But how e'er great he's in Promotion,</L>
<L>He's very humble in Devotion;</L>
<L>With Taper light, and Feet all bare,</L>
<L>He to the Temple did repair,</L>
<L>And knocking &s;oftly at the Portal,</L>
<L>Cry'd, Pity (Fathers) a poor Mortal,</L>
<L>And for a Sinner make &s;ome room,</L>
<L>A Prodigal returned home.</L>
<L>Some &s;ay that in that very hour,</L>
<L>Convert <HI>Mall Megs</HI> arriv'd at door;</L>
<LG>
<L>So both with penitent Grimace,</L>
<L>Statesman and Bawd with humble pace</L>
<L>Entered and were received to grace</L>
</LG>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>The next a Knight of high Command</L>
<L>'Twixt <HI>London-Bridge</HI> and <HI>Dover-Sand;</HI></L>
<L>A Man of &s;trict and holy Life,</L>
<L>Taking example from his Wife;</L>
<L>He to a Nunnery &s;ent her packing,</L>
<L>Le&s;t they &s;hould take each other napping.</L>
<L>Some &s;ay <HI>L'E&s;trange</HI> did him beget,</L>
<L>But that he wants his Chin and Wit;</L>
<L>Good natur'd, as you may ob&s;erve,</L>
<L>Letting his Titular Father &s;tarve;</L>
<L>A Man of Sen&s;e and Parts we know it,</L>
<L>But dares as well be damn'd as &s;how it;</L>
<L>Brib'd by him&s;elf, his tru&s;ty Servant</L>
<L>At Kings-Bench-Bar appear'd mo&s;t fervent</L>
<L>Again&s;t his Honor for the Te&s;t,</L>
<L>To him 'twas Gain, to all Mankind a Je&s;t.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Blue-Bonnet Lords a numerous &s;tore,</L>
<L>Who&s;e be&s;t Example is they're Poor;</L>
<L>Merely drawn in in hopes of Gains,</L>
<L>And reap the Scandal for their pains;</L>
<LG>
<L>Half &s;tarv'd at Court with expectation,</L>
<L>Forc'd to return to their Scotch Station,</L>
<L>De&s;pis'd and &s;corn'd by every Nation.</L>
</LG>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>A paltry Knight not worth a mention,</L>
<L>Renounc'd his Faith for piteous Pen&s;ion;</L>
<L>After upon True Prote&s;tant Whore,</L>
<L>H' had &s;pent a large E&s;tate before.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>A thick &s;hort Collonel next does come,</L>
<L>With &s;tradling Legs and ma&s;&s;y Bum:</L>
<L>With many more of &s;hameful Note,</L>
<L>Who&s;e Honor ne'er was worth a Groat.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>If the&s;e be Pillars of the Church,</L>
<L>'Tis fear'd they'll leave her in the lurch;</L>
<L>If abler Men do not &s;upport her Weight,</L>
<L>All quickly will return to <HI>Fourty Eight.</HI></L>
</LG>
<TRAILER>FINIS.</TRAILER>
</DIV1>
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