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<DATE>2008-09-02</DATE>
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<NAME>tcpstaff</NAME>
<RESP>MURP</RESP>
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<ITEM>Proofed and reviewed as part of batch B080848.pdcc.</ITEM>
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<VID>183508</VID>
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<TEXT LANG="eng">
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<DIV1 TYPE="poem">
<PB N="382" REF="1" MS="y"><!-- PDF PAGE 17 -->
<HEAD>The New German Doctor: OR, An Infallible Cure for a Scolding Wife: Performed by this mo&s;t Excellent Operator, the like was never known in all Ages.</HEAD>
<OPENER>To the Tune of, <HI>Here I love, there I love;</HI> or, <HI>The Engli&s;h Travellers.</HI></OPENER>
<P>Licen&s;ed according to Order.</P>
<P><FIGURE>
</FIGURE></P>
<P><FIGURE>
</FIGURE></P>
<P><FIGURE>
</FIGURE></P>
<LG>
<L>YOu Men that are married, I pray now attend,</L>
<L>Good tydings I bring you, this day as a Friend;</L>
<L>It will be of u&s;e to all young Men and old,</L>
<L>Whoever are troubl'd with Women that &s;cold.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>A Doctor of late, from the Emperor's Court,</L>
<L>A Per&s;on of dextrous Skill by report,</L>
<L>Hath taken a Chamber in <HI>London</HI> of late,</L>
<L>And cures &s;colding Wives at a wonderful rate.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>This Doctor has travell'd all <HI>Poland</HI> and <HI>Spain,</HI></L>
<L>And now in <HI>Great-Britain</HI> he cro&s;&s;ed the Main:</L>
<L>To one Land and Nation he'll not be confin'd,</L>
<L>But travels the World for the good of mankind.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>That Man that is plagu'd with a cro&s;s &s;colding Wife,</L>
<L>Who&s;e railing doth make him quite weary of Life;</L>
<L>Pray what would be give for an ab&s;olute cure,</L>
<L>Before &s;uch a terrible Life he'd endure?</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>'Tis like ev'ry Morning when Day-light appears,</L>
<L>She rings him a thundring Peal in his Ears;</L>
<L>And makes him be glad to rouze out of the Bed,</L>
<L>And all by the violent noi&s;e of her Head.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Sometimes a good Husband may meet with a Friend,</L>
<L>And happen a panny or two pence to &s;pend;</L>
<L>Then in comes the Wife, who do's thunder and bawl,</L>
<L>And with the Quart flaggon his Noddle doth maul.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Her Tongue is more keen than a time two-edged Sword,</L>
<L>Nay louder than Thunder &s;he Peals will afford;</L>
<L>In&s;tead of fond Plea&s;ures kind Love and Delighe,</L>
<L>She is like a flerce Tygre, both Morning and Night.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>It is an un&s;peakable Torment I know,</L>
<L>You cannot imagine what they undergo:</L>
<L>Who with &s;uch cro&s;s Women, their Lives now do lead,</L>
<L>But bring them away to the Doctor with &s;peed.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Nay let them be never &s;o aged or young,</L>
<L>This Doctor he takes out the Sting of the Tongue;</L>
<L>Which is the main Cau&s;e of that violent noi&s;e,</L>
<L>And likewi&s;e all mode&s;t Behavior de&s;troys.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>A Bal&s;om he has of a moderate price,</L>
<L>Which takes off the frowns of the Face in a trites,</L>
<L>And makes her as mild as the innocent Dove,</L>
<L>And in&s;tead of railing, &s;he's all over Love.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>He hath been above &s;even Weeks in the Town,</L>
<L>And yet of young Scolds who was given to frown,</L>
<L>He has cur'd above Seven hundred indeed:</L>
<L>And &s;ome full as bad as the <HI>Billing&s;gate</HI>-Breed.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>There's one I will mention, liv'd near <HI>Tower-Hill,</HI></L>
<L>Who would be both fighting and quarrelling &s;till:</L>
<L>From night to next morning, from morning to noon,</L>
<L>Her Pipes I mu&s;t tell you, was always in tune.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Her Husband he heard of this Doctor of fame,</L>
<L>Without longer tarry, faith thither he came,</L>
<L>With &s;he that was call'd <HI>The inviacible Sh<GAP DESC="illegible" EXTENT="1 letter">ow,</HI></L>
<L>Fa&s;t bound in a Basket, for &s;he would not go.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>This Doctor he cur'd her in le&s;s than a Week,</L>
<L>And made her as mode&s;t, as mild, and as meek,</L>
<L>As any &s;weet Lady this day in the Land,</L>
<L>And &s;o he do's all, that he e'er takes in hand.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>We hear of &s;ome Quacks are for curing of Clays,</L>
<L>And &s;ome other common Di&s;ea&s;es, perhaps;</L>
<L>But when did you hear on our va&s;t <HI>Briti&s;h</HI> &s;hore,</L>
<L>Of one that cou'd cure this Di&s;temper before!</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Whoever is troubl'd this day with a Scold,</L>
<L>Altho' &s;he be youthful, or four&s;core years old,</L>
<L>'Tis all one to him, if the Cure he don't do,</L>
<L>He'll not have &s;o much as one penny of you.</L>
</LG>
<LG>
<L>Now rather than any that pain &s;hall endure,</L>
<L>The Poor he for little or nothing will cure;</L>
<L>All day at his Chamber he is to be found,</L>
<L>Next Do<GAP DESC="illegible" EXTENT="1 letter">r to the <HI>Eel</HI>'s-&s;oot in <HI>Sallengers-Round.</HI></L>
</LG>
</DIV1>
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