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<DATE>2007-10-31</DATE>
<RESPSTMT>
<NAME>Jonathan Blaney</NAME>
<RESP>MURP</RESP>
</RESPSTMT>
<ITEM>proofed text and revised markup</ITEM>
</CHANGE>
</REVDESCR>
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<EEBO>
<IDG S="marc" R="OX" ID="A88130">
<STC T="W">L2006</STC>
<STC T="T">669.f.24[52]</STC>
<BIBNO T="umi">99870490</BIBNO>
<VID>163783</VID>
</IDG>
<TEXT LANG="eng">
<BODY>
<HEAD><PB REF="1" MS="y">The Life and Death of M^r^i^s RUMP.</HEAD>
<HEAD TYPE="sub">And the Fatal end of her Ba&s;e-born brat of de&s;truction, with her own fir&s;t hatching And bringing forth from the <HI>Devils Ar&s;e</HI> a Peake, it being the only place, from whence this illigitimate Ba&s;tard <HI>or</HI> Mon&s;ter had its Nativity.</HEAD>
<DIV1 TYPE="dramatis personae">
<LIST>
<HEAD>The Names of the chief Actors, in this Tragical Scene.</HEAD>
<ITEM>Devils Ar&s;e.</ITEM>
<ITEM><HI>Mris.</HI> Rump.</ITEM>
<ITEM>Mulciber <HI>Black-&s;mith of Hell</HI></ITEM>
<ITEM>Vortiger.</ITEM>
<ITEM>Etheldrid,</ITEM>
<ITEM>Edricus.</ITEM>
<ITEM>Cain.</ITEM>
<ITEM>Oliv. Cromwel</ITEM>
<ITEM>Reynolds,</ITEM>
<ITEM>Pride.</ITEM>
</LIST>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="body of play">
<STAGE>Enter <HI>the</HI> Devils Ar&s;e <HI>and Mris</HI> Rump.</STAGE>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Devils Ar&s;e.</SPEAKER>
<P>HA, ha, ha, Hoop, what comes here, a Brat of my own bringing forth?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mris <HI>Rump.</HI></SPEAKER>
<P>Zounds thou lye&s;t, I am no Mon&s;ter like thee, I &s;corn to loo&s;e the lea&s;t title of my u&s;urped Honour. Am not I the powerfull mighty and invincible &s;tamp of Tyranny, to who&s;e &s;haddow all mu&s;t and &s;hall bow, or el&s;e expect the terrour of my Thundring Ordinances, Votes, and De|clarations, how dare&s;t thou to que&s;tion my impregnable Force to who&s;e Com|mand Armies were &s;ubject.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Devils Ar&s;e.</SPEAKER>
<P>What force ha&s;t thou? Wilt thou deny me, thy own Mother from whence thou had&s;t thy fir&s;t Birth, breath, life and being was not I the fir&s;t Ar&s;e, or &s;tump from whence all mi&s;ery befell man, did not I &s;educe the Woman to the de&s;truction of all men? and am thy own creator?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Rump.</SPEAKER>
<P>No my name is beyond thy &s;tinking Pedigree, is not Rump an Honour|able name.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Devil Ar&s;e.</SPEAKER>
<P>And is not my name the very &s;ame, but one of better narure.</P>
<STAGE>He &s;pits at her.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mrs. <HI>Rump.</HI></SPEAKER>
<P>What! do&s;t thou &s;pit at me?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Devils Ari&s;e.</SPEAKER>
<P>Would it were mortal poi&s;on for thy &s;ake.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mrs. <HI>Rump.</HI></SPEAKER>
<P>Oh cur&s;ed Varlet, the very &s;cent of thy &s;tinking Salliport would infect a Toad.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Devils Ar&s;e.</SPEAKER>
<P>Out of my &s;ight, thy very breath infects my eyes.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mrs. <HI>Rump.</HI></SPEAKER>
<P>Some di&s;mall Fiend confound the &s;ub&s;tance of thy Helli&s;h &s;hape.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Devels Ar&s;e.</SPEAKER>
<P>Art thou like bloody <HI>Nero</HI> to murder me thy own mother? who did&s;t thou learn this cruelty of.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mrs. <HI>Rump.</HI></SPEAKER>
<P>None but thy &s;elf?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Devils Ar&s;e.</SPEAKER>
<P>It is true I cau&s;ed <HI>Cain</HI> to murder a fourth part of the whole would, I his own Brother.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mrs. <HI>Rump.</HI></SPEAKER>
<P>And with the&s;e bloody Pawes I murthered my own King; And world do my Gen. <HI>Monck</HI> too, were I in place again.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Devils Ar&s;e.</SPEAKER>
<P>Out Devil murther thy King?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mrs. Rum.</SPEAKER>
<P>I and would murther thee too, wert thou a King.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Devils Ar&s;e.</SPEAKER>
<P>I had rather be a Pedlar, far be the thought of it from me; but where is thy Con&s;cience?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mrs. Rump.</SPEAKER>
<P>In the Exchequer, had it not been &s;o, I had never embrewed my hands in blood for cur&s;ed gold. But is there no more Murtherers but I?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Devils Ar&s;e.</SPEAKER>
<P>Here comes many more of your Comrades:</P>
<STAGE><HI>Enter</HI> Vortiger, Etheldrid, Edricus, O. Cromwel, Reynolds <HI>&amp;</HI> Pride.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Vortiger.</SPEAKER>
<P>I murthered my Soveraign Lord and King <HI>Con&s;tance,</HI> and many more be&s;ides.</P>
<P><HI>Etheldred,</HI> I murthered mine own Brother <HI>Edward</HI> to po&s;&s;e&s;&s;e his Crown, and &s;ubtily cau&s;ed all the <HI>Danes</HI> in one general banquet to be &s;lain,</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Edricus.</SPEAKER>
<P>And I murthered my King <HI>Edmond Iron-&s;ides.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>O. Crom.</SPEAKER>
<P>Did not I go before you all? I can &s;carce number the Catalogue of my murthers plots and treacheries; I murthered <HI>Hewet, Love, Slingsby,</HI> and many more, be&s;ides I cau&s;d <HI>Sindercomb</HI> to be poy&s;ond, and to clear my pre|tended innocency layd it on him&s;elf. And I gave Tythes to the Prie&s;ts to make all amends. I alwaies &s;tool a Goo&s;e and &s;tuck down a Feather. Nay rather then leave my old Trade of Murder, I hangd many of my ow Souldiers, as I did a Drummer in <HI>Ireland,</HI> for taking a Mutton from the enemy, and two at <HI>Eden|burgh</HI> in <HI>Scotland.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Reynolds.</SPEAKER>
<P>And I (through thy per&s;wa&s;ion after I had &s;wore fealty) murthe|red <HI>Thomp&s;on</HI> and many of the <HI>Burfordians.</HI></P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Pride.</SPEAKER>
<P>And I becau&s;e the blood of men could not &s;atisfie me murthered the harmle&s;s Bears on the Bank&s;ide.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mris <HI>Rump.</HI></SPEAKER>
<P>And I think thou art well requited?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Pride.</SPEAKER>
<P>Indeed I find &s;o for I did not only murder the Bears, but pinch the poor of mea&s;ure while on earth, but have it large enough in Hell.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mris. <HI>Rump.</HI></SPEAKER>
<P>I and good rea&s;on too, you have your firing free Noble Colonel.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Pride.</SPEAKER>
<P>I but though firing be cheap, water is dear, there's never a Tankard-bearer in Hell; therefore I have little hope of helpe.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Cain.</SPEAKER>
<P>What pratling's here? Did not <HI>I</HI> teach you all to murder?</P>
<STAGE><HI>Enter Mulciber.</HI> I brought all the&s;e to my Forge, and I think they have acted their parts.</STAGE>
<STAGE>Exit omnes.</STAGE>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mrs. Rump.</SPEAKER>
<P>And what have you all done that I have not been forward in, I have de&s;troyed all Laws, Break Oaths, Covenants, committed, Sacriledge, murders, Plunderings, and would have done more, had not I been prevented, by a company of Secluded <HI>Malignants</HI> of my own creating. And &s;hall not I be received to &s;it in Council among you.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Devils Ar&s;e.</SPEAKER>
<P>I But fir&s;t &s;etting by all Ceremonies, <HI>Mrs. Rump,</HI> is not my name more Ancient, and I more Honourable, art not thou a brat of my own Hatching?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mrs. Rump.</SPEAKER>
<P>No, I come of noble blood; which I have gained by noble mur|ther, the Scarlet die of which lies &s;till in my &s;tained Con&s;cience; But yet not thy Brat.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Devils Ar&s;e.</SPEAKER>
<P>Grim fiend thou lye&s;ts for the very &s;ub&s;tance of thy deformed &s;hape, was fram'd in Hell, by <HI>Mulciber</HI> Black&s;mith, who Anvell'd thee out of my horrid, Black, and putrifi'd, Excrements.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mr. Rum.</SPEAKER>
<P>I charge thee be gone, If not I &s;hall force thee to an Oath of Abjuration, and if that be performed thou mai&s;t by thy perjury become one of my Coun&s;el.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Devils Ar&s;r.</SPEAKER>
<P>What do&s;t thou intend to &s;wallow up my blood as thou did&s;t the blood of thy Soveraign Lord and King?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mrs. Rump.</SPEAKER>
<P>I do &s;o, my delights in nothing more then Martyrings Kings, and to have my hands &s;moaking in the blood of Princes; Oh the Son of him, who was the &s;acrifice of my youth! his e&s;cape is the chiefe&s;t of my torment, who now is like to be advanced to my de&s;truction.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Devils Ar&s;e.</SPEAKER>
<P>Thou Dam'd Hedgehock, what repent now its too late for that. Thou mai&s;t now travel with thy late born Babe of Reformation at thy back in a blancket like an old <HI>Iri&s;h Bennoot:</HI> but who&s;e there <HI>Mulciber.</HI></P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Enter Mulciber.</STAGE>
<SP>
<P>I come, I come, I come, Whats here to be done, a piece of my own work, Ile fini&s;h it? come away thou low&s;ie Rump, now will I have thee to my Anvel; and beat thee into a better form that thou mai&s;t &s;eem &s;ome what.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mrs. Rump.</SPEAKER>
<P>Oh good Sir, where &s;hall I go?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mulcib.</SPEAKER>
<P>To Hell the fitte&s;t place for thee, Earth is not to be pe&s;tered up with &s;uch, comber&s;ome bundles of ba&s;ene&s;&s;e, I &s;hall Anvill the into &s;ome better form quickly.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mrs. Rump:</SPEAKER>
<P>Will no dungeon &s;erve turn, but that ugly loath&s;ome and mi&s;e|rable place of torment?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Devils Ar&s;e.</SPEAKER>
<P>No place but one?</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Mrs. Rump.</SPEAKER>
<P>What place do&s;t thou mean.</P>
</SP>
<SP>
<SPEAKER>Dev. Ar&s;e.</SPEAKER>
<P>I mean that &s;tinking poy&s;onous place called the Ile of Jaque&s;es, where the black horrid excrements of all &s;inners may Float upon thy loath&s;ome Soul, and &s;mother thy loath&s;ome Brat of cur&s;ed, U&s;urping and Tyrrannical Reformation to Eternity, as a Revenge on thee for thy cruelty committed on thy Right and Lawful Soveraign Lord the King.</P>
</SP>
<STAGE>Whil&s;t thus he made an end of &s;peaking <HI>Mrs. Rump</HI> (much tortured in con|&s;cience) with her ugly Deformed, Mon&s;trous, and horrid Brat without a head, who had feet like a Bear, and bag at the Belly full of fal&s;e Oathes, Papers, and Engagements, being more <HI>Ar&mdash;</HI>then Body, with a ga&s;hly countenance gave a terrible &s;creek, and departed the world in a fla&s;h of Lightning, and being con|verted to a &s;tinking vapor vani&s;hed away, and was no more heard of &s;ince, whereby her Funeral could not be &s;olemnized.</STAGE>
</DIV1>
<DIV1 TYPE="epilogue">
<HEAD>EPILOGUE.</HEAD>
<L>YOu that have &s;een this &s;tinking Lump of Earth,</L>
<L>Conceal her Name, &s;ince her prodigious Birth</L>
<L>Is not worth minding, for her fatal fall</L>
<L>Was great, I, and her Vertues none at all;</L>
<L>Shee's not worth eating boyld or roa&s;t at Supper,</L>
<L>Who had her Birth and Name from <HI>Plutos</HI> Crupper.</L>
<L>Of's very Excrements, you all may tell</L>
<L>By <HI>Mulciber</HI> her Corps was forgd in Hell.</L>
<L>Let all Spectators now together jump</L>
<L>Upon this noy&s;ome, bea&s;tly, &s;tinking <HI>Rump,</HI></L>
<L>And &s;ay, here lyes interr'd a clod of Clay,</L>
<L>Who killd her King, her God and Soul away,</L>
<L>She &s;old, and that for Na&s;ty Pelf,</L>
<L>But now Old Bawd &s;he is defunct her &s;elf.</L>
<L>Since &s;hee is dead and gone good People all</L>
<L>Lament in Sack at this her Funerall.</L>
<L>Cur&s;d be the Divils Ar&mdash;from whence did Spring</L>
<L>This helli&s;h <HI>Rump,</HI> to Murder <HI>Charles</HI> Our King:</L>
<L>Yet by his Son we &s;hall true Peace enjoy</L>
<L>Singing with Eccoes loud <HI>Vive Le Roy.</HI></L>
</DIV1>
</BODY>
<BACK>
<DIV1 TYPE="colophon">
<P><HI>LONDON, Printed for</HI> Theodorus Microco&s;mus. 1660.</P>
</DIV1>
</BACK>
</TEXT>
</EEBO>
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