Etext by Dagny
This Etext is for private use only. No republication for profit in print or other media may be made without the express consent of the Copyright Holder. The Copyright Holder is especially concerned about performance rights in any media on stage, cinema, or television, or audio or any other media, including readings for which an entrance fee or the like is charge. Permissions should be addressed to: Frank Morlock, 6006 Greenbelt Rd, #312, Greenbelt, MD 20770, USA or frankmorlock@msn.com. Other works by this author may be found at http://www.cadytech.com/dumas/personnage.asp?key=130
C 2003
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CHARACTERS
RASIGNAC, a wigmaker
LA CORNE, a merchant of dresses
A CAFE WAITER
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The action takes place in the doorway of a Boulevard Cafe.
RASIGNAC: Eh, howdy, Mr. La Corne, at last I've found you! I've just come from your place to get some dresses; they told me you were out.
LA CORNE: Yes, I went to see them playing skittles on the Boulevard. Didn't my wife give you those gowns?
RASIGNAC: Indeed, indeed, but the thing is I wanted to drink a bottle of wine with you.
LA CORNE: Well, instead of wine, let's drink beer; it's hot enough today for that.
RASIGNAC: Now there's a table, lets sit there.
LA CORNE: Yes, we will have more air.
RASIGNAC: Waiter!
(They sit down.)
WAITER: (entering) What'll these gentlemen have?
RASIGNAC: A bottle of beer.
WAITER: You are going to be served in a moment.
LA CORNE: At least give us the best.
WAITER: Sir, we have nothing else.
LA CORNE: You have to say a little something to these gentlemen.
RASIGNAC: No question, no question; as for me, I never fail to do so.
WAITER: Here, gentlemen, now this is what is called a bottle of beer.
LA CORNE: That's good.
WAITER: Do the gentlemen require anything else?
LA CORNE: No, no.
(Exit Waiter.)
LA CORNE: We are going to drink to the health of Madame Rasignac.
RASIGNAC: And to that of Madame La Corne.
LA CORNE: Ah! Madame La Corne doesn't resemble Madame Rasignac.
RASIGNAC: You do her great honor, but one mustn't speak of a rope in the house of a hanged man.
LA CORNE: What, Mr. Rasignac, what is it you mean?
RASIGNAC: Eh, my God, you know better than I. When one is in the situation the two of us are in — Still, I don't want to say anything — Come, come, swallow up — You understand me plainly. To your health, Mr. La Corne.
LA CORNE: To yours.
(They clink and drink.)
RASIGNAC: Still, when one has a friend like you, Mr. La Corne, that consoles everything.
LA CORNE: That, at least, is true; you must put on a hard face; words don't stink.
RASIGNAC: No, but you know my little Javotte, who is so sweet?
LA CORNE: Yes, yes.
RASIGNAC: Well, see, I think she resembles Du Croc.
LA CORNE: Your shop assistant?
RASIGNAC: Yes, between friends, there, what do you say to that? No one can hear us.
LA CORNE: No, I don't, to speak to you plainly; You know I wouldn't deceive you. I am too much your friend for that.
RASIGNAC: Honest injun?
LA CORNE: On honor.
RASIGNAC: Well, you make me feel good.
LA CORNE: And if you want me to speak to you like a loyal friend, as one must in a situation like, I will tell you that I find she resembles, instead —
RASIGNAC: Her mother?
LA CORNE: No, no.
RASIGNAC: Me?
LA CORNE: Not at all; a creature —
RASIGNAC: Who is it?
LA CORNE: Eh! the one you had before Du Croc.
RASIGNAC: Morin?
LA CORNE Precisely.
RASIGNAC: Well, listen; he was her relation, and the relatives — all that — you understand well enough; often —
LA CORNE: Yes, yes,; that's why I was the godfather of your last little girl.
RASIGNAC: Louison?
LA CORNE: Yes, yes.
RASIGNAC: And me, then; wasn't I the godfather of your little Javotte?
LA CORNE: Doubtless, but was this also because of—?
RASIGNAC: Yes, that's why.
LA CORNE: Ah! that makes a difference; I am no longer astonished if my wife only wanted it to be her uncle.
RASIGNAC: We had arranged that together, the two of us.
LA CORNE: You see what it is; I would never have thought it.
RASIGNAC: Agree that it was well contrived; because, see how fine it is, they say this and that, and in this way they are made to hold their evil tongues.
LA CORNE: As you say, and one is no less friends.
RASIGNAC: (clinking) To you, with all my heart, my hope.
LA CORNE: And me, mine.
(He drinks.)
RASIGNAC: Ah, indeed, another time, we will speak of this at length.
(He rises.)
LA CORNE: Where are you going?
RASIGNAC: Home, to pack up some wigs for actors.
LA CORNE: That's well done. I am going to go with you and we will talk on the way.
(They leave.)
CURTAIN