THERESE A Fragment By Voltaire

Translated and adapted by Frank J. Morlock C 2003

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CHARACTERS:

THERESE

MR. GRIPAUD

GERMON

DORIMAN

MADAME AUBONNE

LUBIN

MATHURINE

ACT I

GRIPAUD: Forget esteem, I want some complacency and friendship — do you understand?

THERESE: I will join respect to it, and I won't ever abuse the distinction with which you are honoring me, as you won't take too many advantages, no question, either of my situation or of my youth.

GRIPAUD: I don't know, but she always tells me things to which I have no reply. What makes you talk like that?

THERESE: What do you mean like that? Sir, have I said something unfitting?

GRIPAUD: No, on the contrary. But you don't know anything and you talk better than my bailiff, my fine wit, who knows everything.

THERESE: You are making me blush. I am saying what simple nature inspires me to; I try to observe this place which is it seems to me, between shyness and confidence, and I wouldn't like to displease without trying hard to please.

DORIMAN: (aside) Adorable creature! How I would like to be in the place of her master!

GRIPAUD: What's that you're saying? Eh!

DORIMAN: Sir, I said she's very lucky to belong to such a master.

GRIPAUD: Yes, yes, she will be happy. But speak up, answer, Therese. Speak to me always, tell me what you do to have so much wit. Is it because you read books and comedies? By Jove, I'm going to make myself read them. What do you find in theses novels, in these plays? Speak, speak, talk, chat, speak up.

THERESE: Mr. Germon loaned me some whose sentiments truly have enflamed my heart, and whose expressions represent the whole of nature to me, a hundred times more beautiful than I have seen before. He also loans me comedies in which I am able to learn more in an hour than I would have in four years. They have the same effect on me as those little instruments with several glasses I've seen in the home of Mr.

          ———— which allow you to distinguish in the objects things and nuances that one doesn't see with the naked eye.

DORIMAN: Oh, yes. You mean microscopes, miss.

THERESE: Yes, microscopes, Mr. Doriman. I confess, those comedies have taught me, enlightened me, softened me. (turning towards Madame Aubonne) I confess, Madame, that I really wanted to follow you on some trip to Paris, to see performed those plays, that I believe, are the school of society and virtue.

MADAME AUBONNE: Yes, my dear Therese, I shall take you to Paris, I promise you.

GRIPAUD: It will be I who take her. I will go see those farces with her, but I don't want Mr. Germon to loan her books. I don't want her to borrow anything. I will give them all to her.

MADAME AUBONNE: My God, the way my nephew is becoming an honest man! My dear nephew, here's the good Mr. Germon who's coming to dine with you.

GRIPAUD: Ah! hello, Mr. Germon, hello. What's new? Are you coming from the hunt? have you read the gazettes? what time is it? how are you doing?

GERMON: (low) Sir, permit me in paying my court to you, to have the honor of depicting to you the cruel condition in which I am in and the need I have for your assistance.

GRIPAUD: (seated) Yes, yes, pay me your court, but don't depict anything to me, I beg you. Well, Therese?

MADAME AUBONNE: (on the other side) Ah! can you really treat a poor gentleman of importance who dines everyday with the secretary of the Intendant like that?

GERMON: Sir, you know that since the last war in which the enemy burned my fields, I've been reduced to cultivating with my own hands a portion of my inheritance from my ancestors.

GRIPAUD: Eh! he's only the best cultivator, he will produce

GERMON: I am flattered that if you were able to loan me —

GRIPAUD: We will talk about it, Mr. Germon, we will see about it. It's a nuisance to me at the moment. What do you say about this, Therese?

THERESE: Sir, I dare to say, if you give me permission to do so, that generosity seems to me to be the first of virtues, that Mr. Germon's birth deserves consideration; his rank, compensation, and his person, esteem.

GRIPAUD: Wow, I don't like anyone to esteem Mr. Germon so much being as old as he is.

(Lubin and Mathurine enter.)

LUBIN: My opinion is that it's him, Mathurine.

MATHURINE: Yes, there he is all decked out the way they told us.

LUBIN: Oh! the humorous metamorphosis! eh! hello, then Mattheiu

MATHURINE: Look what they did to you my cousin!

GRIPAUD: What is this, what is this? What impudence is this? My servants, my squire, kick these drunks out for me.

DORIMAN: Let's go, my friends: sir, forgive these poor people, their simplicity is their excuse.

LUBIN: Drunks!

MATHURINE: I declare, how they treat us! I am not drunk, I am your cousin, Matheiu. I did a dozen leagues on foot to come see you I've lost everything that I had, but I said: No matter, if you've got a good relative, you haven't lost a thing. And here we are.

GRIPAUD: My good woman, will you shut up! — O heaven, before Mr. Germon, before my people, before Therese!

LUBIN: Eh, by Jove! I saw you when you were no bigger than my leg, when your father worked in the kitchen of the late Lord, and who gave us free meals.

GRIPAUD: Again! Rogue!

MATHURINE: Rogue yourself. I was the nurse of the little count who died. Do you no longer know Mathurine?

GRIPAUD: I'm croaking! These crazed people won't stop. Listen (aside) I'll kick out my Swiss footman who let these beggars in to see me. Listen, my friends, I will take care of you, if you say you are mistaken, if you ask my pardon plainly, and if you call me milord.

LUBIN: You, milord! Eh, by Jove! I'd rather give the name of Paris to Vaugirard.

MATHURINE: Oh! the funny cousin God gave us. Come on, come on, takes us to dinner, give us good cheer, and don't be insolent.

MADAME AUBONNE: My nephew.

THERESE: What an adventure.

GRIPAUD: (to Germon) Mr. Germon, it's a trick they're playing on me. Withdraw you swindlers or I'll have you put in a jail for the rest of your life. Come on, Madame my Aunt, Mr. Germon, Therese, we are going to dine; and you, my squire, throw these impudents out for me by main force.

MATHURINE: (to Madame Aubonne) My good relative take pity on us, and don't be as bad as he.

MADAME AUBONNE: Don't say a word. Wait, I will take care of you; have good courage.

(Exit Gripaud, and Madame Aubonne.)

THERESE: Here my friends, this is all I've got. Your condition and your reception are equally painful to me.

DORIMAN: Do me the friendship also, of accepting this little assistance. If we were richer we would give you more. Go, and keep our secret.

MATHURINE: Ah! the fine folks! the fine folks! What! you are nothing to me, and you are generous to me, while our cousin, Matheiu treats us with such severity!

LUBIN: My word! it's you we must call milord. You are doubtless some great gentleman of the neighborhood, some great lady.

DORIMAN: No, we are only servants, but we think the way our master ought to think.

MATHURINE: Ah! it's the way everybody feels upside down.

LUBIN: Ah! the brave kids! ah! the villainous cousin!

MATHURINE: My fine children, heaven will give you happiness, because you are so generous.

LUBIN: Ah, that's not a reason, Mathurine. I am generous true, and I am miserable, and our good lord, the Count de Sambourg was indeed the most worthy man on this earth and still he lost his son and died unhappily.

MATHURINE: Yes, alas! I nursed my poor nurseling, and that pierces my soul. But how is it that my cousin Matheiu made such a great fortune, since he deserves so little! Ah, the way the world goes!

DORIMAN: As it always has. But we don't have time to say more. Go, my dear friends.

LUBIN: But Mathurine, my opinion is that this fine gentleman really has the air of this poor little child who came quite naked to beg in our village at the age of seven or eight?

DORIMAN: You are right; it's me, I don't blush for it.

MATHURINE: Son of a gun! He made his fortune and still he's honest and good.

DORIMAN: Apparently that's because my fortune is truly mediocre. I still feel that if it was better I would like to help the unfortunate.

MATHURINE: God cover you with blessings, monsieur and mademoiselle.

LUBIN: If you have need of Lubin's two arms and his life, all are yours, my good sir.

END OF FRAGMENT