THE KEY TO THE GREAT GATE BY HINKO GOTTLIEB

Translated and Adapted by Frank J. Morlock

Etext by Dagny
  • ACT I.
  • ACT II
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    CHARACTERS DOCTOR HANS ANTON STRAUSS, a prominent Viennese attorney DOCTOR GOTTLIEB RABBI BENJAMIN PORETZ SERGEANT WEICHSELBRAUN DOV TARNOPOLSKI A GUARD THE LIEUTENANT


    ACT I.

    Cell 84, the Vienna City Jail, on a Monday in 1942. There are three occupants of the cell. The cell is overcrowded. The occupants are Jews. Dr. Hans Anton Strauss, a prominent Viennese attorney who specialized in Criminal cases until the Anschluss, is playing chess with the Chief Rabbi of Salonika with improvised chessmen. Dr. Gottlieb, a Jew from Zagreb, is trying to write in a dirty notebook. He is paying no attention to the players. The players, however, take a great interest in their game, for the Rabbi and the lawyer are natural antagonists, and delight in beating each other by hook or by crook.

    Strauss (gleefully)
    Check, my dear Rabbi.

    Rabbi (after a moment, triumphantly)
    Checkmate, Dr. Strauss.

    Strauss
    Bah, you tricked me.

    Rabbi
    Serves you right, freethinker.

    Strauss
    Reactionary.

    Rabbi
    Godless turncoat.

    Strauss
    I keep telling you I am not Jewish, I'm a Catholic.

    Rabbi
    Tell that to the Nazis.

    Strauss
    I do, I do; they don't believe me.

    Rabbi
    So, why should I? Lie to them if you like.

    Strauss
    Look here, I'm not lying. My great grandfather was Jewish, it's true, but the family has been Catholic since 1798, and I have baptismal certificates to prove it.

    Rabbi
    Forgeries. Some of your clients provided you with those certificates.

    Strauss
    I only defend bank robbers and businessmen.

    Rabbi
    Another game, councilor?

    Strauss
    This time I'm going to beat you.

    Rabbi
    Just be careful not to move the pieces when I'm not looking, if you please.

    Strauss
    You wait and see.

    (The cell door is suddenly pushed open by Sgt. Weichselbraun, who looks a bit like Hitler. Weichselbraun is accompanied by a new prisoner, Dov Tarnopolski, who wears a long black coat and is extremely tall. The prisoners jump to attention.)

    Weichselbraun
    A new companion for you, straight from Poland.

    Rabbi
    This is incomprehensible—surely you don't mean to put him here?

    Strauss
    The cell is already overcrowded. This is inhumane treatment, and—

    Gottlieb
    We can't possibly fit a fourth man in here.

    Weichselbraun
    You'll just have to sleep on top of each other like rats.

    (Weichselbraun thinks this remark is highly witty and laughs appreciatively.)

    Tarnopolski
    My name is Dov Tarnopolski.

    WEICHSELBRAUN (going out)
    Correction. You are prisoner number 434—and you're a piece of shit; like all Jews.

    (Weichselbraun leaves, slamming the door behind him.)

    Tarnopolski
    I am Tarnopolski, Dov Tarnopolski.

    Gottlieb
    Hinko Gottlieb from Zagreb. Writer.

    Rabbi
    A free thinker and atheist. I am Benjamin Poretz, from Salonika.

    Strauss
    A real reactionary, too. I'm Dr. Felix Strauss, a criminal lawyer before the war.

    Rabbi
    And a worse freethinker than Gottlieb, if that's possible. He pretends he's not a Jew. Are you a Jew, Tarnopolski?

    Tarnopolski
    Of course. Cigarettes?

    (Tarnopolski hands out several cigarettes.)

    Strauss
    Impossible. They take them away from the prisoners.

    Tarnopolski
    Help yourselves.

    (Tarnopolski now produces three packs and distributes them, to the astonishment of the others.)

    Tarnopolski
    What's the name of the son of a bitch who brought me here?

    Strauss
    Shh! Be quiet, for God's sake. Someone might be listening.

    Tarnopolski (yelling)
    FUCK HIM!

    (Dr. Strauss goes into a corner and cringes, mumbling something.)

    Strauss
    This is unheard of, unheard of.

    Rabbi (after a pause)
    We are being inhospitable. Will you have some food?

    (The Rabbi displays some soup.)

    Tarnopolski
    No, no. I couldn't possibly eat that!

    (Tarnopolski disdainfully turns away, then produces a big piece of French bread and some salami and starts eating.

    Gottlieb
    He's got—food.

    Rabbi
    Real food.

    Tarnopolski
    Have some, I've got plenty more.

    Strauss
    They never let prisoners bring food into the cells.

    Gottlieb
    Eat, Dr. Strauss, eat. We'll explain the mystery later.

    Tarnopolski (casually)
    Want some cake—or maybe some strudel?

    Gottlieb
    Cake? I haven't seen cake since 1939!

    Strauss
    Strudel! Strudel!

    (Tarnopolski produces some cake and strudel which he passes out.)

    Rabbi
    All right, so far. Is there anything more? No black coffee?

    Tarnopolski
    No, I haven't any coffee—but I can offer you some good coffee liqueur.

    (Tarnopolski produces a bottle of liqueur and four little glasses.)

    Strauss
    Stop! Now, I know these are delusions.

    Tarnopolski (shaking his head)
    I can't do tricks like a fakir. Have a drink and convince yourselves.

    Strauss
    That's rich! As if you didn't know we are incapable of doing so—the way you have influenced our senses. Our senses fool us. They send false reports to our brains. How are we to control them? But, if someone had taken a motion picture of us—it would have been obvious that we're eating newspapers, not cake and strudel.

    Tarnopolski
    I haven't any movie camera. But, tell me, did you enjoy the strudel?

    Strauss
    Delicious! Absolutely delicious delusions.

    Rabbi
    Never had a better cake.

    Gottlieb
    The best Viennese cake I've ever tasted.

    Tarnopolski
    Then, you enjoyed it? What more do you want? Suppose it is pure Viennese tap water I offer you? What keeps you from drinking it?

    (Tarnopolski drinks some liqueur.)

    Strauss (timidly, closing his eyes, tasting his drink)
    It goes down just like liqueur.

    (The others also drink.)

    Tarnopolski
    What do you think of the bouquet? Grand, isn't it? And the color?

    (Tarnopolski holds the bottle up to the light.)

    Gottlieb
    Heavenly.

    (They all refill their glasses and drink again. “Prost! Cheers! Bottoms up! They begin to sing, timidly at first, then drunkenly, as they gain in self confidence. Suddenly Weichselbraun yanks open the door.)

    Weichselbraun
    What the hell is going on here?

    Strauss (drunken and friendly)
    Hallo there, Weichselbraun, friend of my youth—

    Weichselbraun
    Hands off—

    Rabbi (stepping up)
    Field Marshal Poretz, hic—

    Weichselbraun
    Well, look at that. The Jews are soused. (glaring at the liqueur bottle) Who brought you this liqueur?

    (Weichselbraun glares all around and finally looks suspiciously at Tarnopolski. Tarnopolski remains defiantly seated and unmoved by Weichselbraun's rage.)

    Strauss
    That's not liqueur, Weichselbraun, it's suggestion.

    Weichselbraun (puzzled)
    What?

    Strauss
    Yes, suggestion! Haven't you ever heard of it? Suh gez shun! Not surprising you've never heard of it—you're fearfully ignorant.

    Weichselbraun
    Achtung!

    Strauss (confidentially)
    Don't be an ass, Weichselbraun. Try and understand. Hocus-pocus, and so on. Why do you say liqueur? Get a movie camera and you'll see. We've eaten a lot of bunk—but no cake. No cake, Weichselbraun. No cake.

    Weichselbraun
    Cake! Very soon I'll make you eat shit!

    Strauss (hurt)
    Why are you always so cross with me? Don't you think I notice it? Come here and kiss me, Weichselbraun.

    Weichselbraun
    Kiss you! Kiss my arse! Is this your kind of a joke? Who brought you the drinks?

    Tarnopolski (easily)
    No one. I had them with me.

    Weichselbraun
    Ach, so. So, you brought them with you. And Weichselbraun who searched you, when you were brought in, didn't notice anything, eh? Weichselbraun is a blind fool who doesn't know his job, eh? (hysterically) Is this some dirty Jewish plot to get me in trouble? You BASTARDS! Me, Weichselbraun, who has searched thousands of prisoners—just overlooked a liqueur bottle and four glasses?

    Tarnopolski (calmly)
    Six as a matter of fact.

    (Tarnopolski puts two more glasses on the table.)

    Weichselbraun
    What! What else do you have in your pockets?

    Tarnopolski
    Nothing, as you see.

    (Weichselbraun frisks him again and turns out his pockets.)

    Weichselbraun
    Of course, they're empty. This is a plot. (goes to the Rabbi) Poretz, you're a Rabbi, so you shouldn't lie even if you are a Jew. Who brought you the drinks?

    Rabbi (helplessly)
    I, I—

    Weichselbraun
    All right, I see that you are lying, too. But, you're wrong if you think you can fool me. (working himself up) Who gave you that liqueur? (silence) You don't want to talk? You want to try me to the limit? Very well. You'll get your way, my dear Jews. You'll have your miracles. Just wait.

    (Weichselbraun sweeps up everything on the table and starts carrying it out.)

    Tarnopolski
    Leave the matches. How do you want us to light our cigarettes?

    Weichselbraun (menacingly)
    What cigarettes?

    (Tarnopolski holds out his hand with cigarettes in it. When Weichselbraun reaches for them, Tarnopolski closes his palm. After considerable effort Weichselbraun forces Tarnopolski's fist open. The cigarettes are gone. Weichselbraun is amazed and Tarnopolski is ironic.)

    Strauss
    You see. Hocus pocus.

    Weichselbraun
    You wait—you'll see.

    (Weichselbraun stares at Tarnopolski, then turns on his heel and rushes out.)

    Tarnopolski
    Well, now that that fool is gone, we'd better get some matches.

    Strauss
    Matches!

    Tarnopolski
    I've got plenty of cigarettes for everybody, but we'll need matches.

    Rabbi
    But, that is impossible, we saw him search you.

    Tarnopolski
    Let's see if we can get the guard's attention. (at the door) Hey, open up!

    (Tarnopolski pulls out more cigarettes and distributes them.)

    Guard (thundering)
    Silence!

    Tarnopolski (politely)
    Do you have any matches? Weichselbraun confiscated ours, now we can't light our cigarettes.

    Guard
    You fellows really have cigarettes?

    Tarnopolski (offering some)
    Here.

    Guard
    Thanks, but I only smoke cigars.

    Tarnopolski
    What do you say to some Havanas?

    Guard
    I love them. But they haven't been seen here in a long time.

    Tarnopolski (pulling out a box)
    Help yourself.

    Guard
    Thank you, very much. Here are some matches. I'll bring some more tomorrow. Have you ever been to Mistelbach?

    Tarnopolski
    No. Never heard of the place. I'm from Poland.

    Guard
    I'm from Mistelbach—and that's why I'm a little nervous about this transaction.

    Strauss
    You, a member of the master race, afraid?

    Guard
    Mistelbach is not far from Vienna. Some years ago, before I was born, a magician came to our town. He gave a performance in the town hall. At midnight, after the magician had performed many devilish tricks— suddenly from all sides, water started pouring into the hall. The ladies had to pull up their skirts. What a show! But, then the water suddenly disappeared, and the magician was gone. So was the mayor's silver watch and chain. Now, what do you think? Won't I get a piece of hot iron in my hands if I take one of your cigars?

    Tarnopolski
    Don't be afraid. I'd give you the whole box, but Weichselbraun would give you trouble if he saw you with it.

    Guard
    All right, I'll trust you. Now, excuse me, there's something I have to do. ALL RIGHT, YOU DAMN JEWS, GET BACK IN YOUR CELL AND DON'T RAISE ANYMORE RUCKUS OR I'LL BEAT YOU ALL TO A PULP. That should make Weichselbraun happy. (goes out)

    Strauss
    That guard is not a bad sort. He never abuses us, except for the record.

    Gottlieb
    What will the poor idiot think when he searches his pocket for your cigar and doesn't find it?

    Tarnopolski
    Why shouldn't he find it? I've already told you that I'm not a magician.

    Gottlieb
    You underestimate me. You can confuse my senses—but you have no power over my mind.

    Tarnopolski
    You're talking nonsense, Gottlieb. How can you separate your mind from your senses? But, let that go—

    Strauss
    The man says he's not a magician, what does he take us for?

    Gottlieb
    Neither was Merlin, nor Simon Magus.

    Tarnopolski
    What do you know about the theory of relativity.

    Gottlieb
    A Jew named Einstein invented it—otherwise, it's all Greek to me.

    Strauss
    What has the theory of relativity got to do with your illusions?

    Tarnopolski
    They are not illusions.

    Strauss
    Forget you're on stage, Tarnopolski, and tell us how you do it.

    Tarnopolski
    They are not illusions.

    Rabbi
    Perhaps, they are miracles.

    Strauss
    And Tarnopolski is the Messiah.

    Tarnopolski
    They are not miracles.

    Gottlieb
    But you are the Messiah, eh?

    Strauss
    Stop playing games with us, please. Have fun with Weichselbraun if you like, but be honest with us.

    Tarnopolski (somewhat annoyed)
    I am not playing games. I cannot perform magical tricks. But, I can, without certain limits, make things smaller or larger. Smaller or larger in relation to other things.

    Gottlieb
    Aha! You've invented a hydraulic press that reduces bottles and cigars to a hundredth of their former size. Is that it?

    Tarnopolski
    No, not quite that. No pressure is involved. But, it is true that I can make a reduction in a certain system of things.

    Strauss
    In other words, you have discovered a process whereby you can reduce our earth to the size of an apple. A fine thing to do!

    Tarnopolski
    My power does not go so far. The earth is enclosed in its cosmic system and I cannot change that. All I can do—

    Gottlieb
    Ah, now I have it. You took your cigars out of your cosmic system. That's what you wanted to say, isn't it?

    Tarnopolski
    I see that I shall have an easy time making myself clear to you. You have more knowledge than I anticipated. You understand quickly and correctly.

    Strauss
    Hocus pocus. Hocus pocus. You'll get us all killed. How could you be so irresponsible as to just stand there with that cigarette in your mouth? What will Weichselbraun think of us, especially of you?

    Tarnopolski (maliciously)
    Of me? Why should Weichselbraun get a bad impression of me?

    Strauss
    Don't you realize the seriousness of our situation?

    Tarnopolski
    Have no concern on my account. Weichselbraun saw you, not me, with a cigarette in your mouth. Just a little hocus pocus, you understand.

    Strauss
    This is an unbearable impersonation. I shall enlighten Weichselbraun.

    Tarnopolski
    Try it, by all means. But you won't meet with success. It will sound to Weichselbraun as if you were swearing your head off at him. Hocus pocus again, you understand?

    (Strauss goes off in a corner and fumes. Tarnopolski produces a gigantic salami and offers some to Gottlieb, who, despite his astonishment, takes a huge piece. The Rabbi declines.)

    Rabbi
    Thank you, but I can't.

    Strauss
    I don't understand you, Rabbi. I can't make out your point of view.

    Rabbi
    It's not kosher. That's my point of view.

    Strauss
    I understand refusing the prison meat, I myself am a pious Catholic. (the others laugh) I respect another man's religious conviction. I fast on Good Friday. But, in the kind of reality we're living in now, your ritualistic food laws cannot apply.

    Rabbi
    And, why is that?

    Strauss
    Because, just as you could dream of eating ham and eggs without sinning, surely you can take this imaginary salami without committing a sin.

    Rabbi
    You talk like a lawyer—but you forget that religious laws are not like laws in your sense of the term.

    Strauss
    I dispute that.

    Rabbi
    You dispute everything. In your courts, you judge actions which are against the law, and where there is no evidence there is no guilt!

    Strauss
    What's wrong with that?

    Rabbi
    But, in the realm of religious laws, no importance is attached to evidence. I can eat meat ten times a day and not commit a sin if I don't know I am eating meat and the ignorance is not my fault.

    Strauss
    A nice legalistic distinction.

    Rabbi (triumphantly)
    But, I commit sin even when I eat kosher if I suspect that it is not.

    Tarnopolski
    I'm sorry I don't have kosher salami. But, if you insist on eating kosher, then prepare your own food.

    (Tarnopolski produces a live chicken and hands it to the Rabbi who stares in astonishment.)

    Gottlieb
    The man has supernatural powers!

    Rabbi
    A miracle.

    Gottlieb
    That's what I mean.

    Strauss (still the sceptic)
    Suggestion—mere suggestion.

    Gottlieb
    Nonsense.

    Tarnopolski
    Please, gentlemen, I am a scientist, not a miracle worker.

    Strauss
    Scientist! He's a veritable Paracelsus!

    Tarnopolski
    Certainly. Dov Tarnopolski at your service. Fellow of the Polish Academy, a correspondent and disciple of Einstein.

    Strauss
    What in the name of God have your illusions to do with Einstein?

    Tarnopolski
    Relativity. You see, we know so very little about space. You cannot help it. Man's power of imagination is limited. We think of space as sort of an empty container which we can fill up.

    Gottlieb
    And I think so, too.

    Tarnopolski
    It is now possible to say that space is matter without mass.

    Gottlieb
    So?

    Tarnopolski
    On the basis of this knowledge—

    (Weichselbraun enters with the Guard.)

    Weichselbraun
    Achtung, Juden!

    (They all freeze except Tarnopolski.)

    Weichselbraun
    Tarnopolski!

    Tarnopolski
    What is it?

    Weichselbraun
    Who brought you the bottle?

    Tarnopolski
    Listen, Weichselbraun, you are getting on my nerves with your questioning. Even if I were to tell you how the bottle got here, you are much too stupid to understand. You're behaving like a jackass, and you haven't any manners, either. You haven't even so much as wished us a good day. Make sure you don't omit that next time. Do you understand? Now, you may go. Hurry, because your face makes me sick.

    Strauss (rushing up)
    Do you recognize me, Weichselbraun? My name is Strauss. Look at me carefully.

    Weichselbraun
    What the devil do you want?

    Strauss
    Look at me carefully. This is I, I, personally. That one over there only seems to you to be Dr. Strauss, but he is Tarnopolski. Don't believe a word he says.

    Weichselbraun
    Have you gone crazy? What do you want?

    Strauss (agitated)
    I am Dr. Hans Anton Strauss, criminal lawyer. I have handled over seven thousand cases before the courts of this city before the Anschluss. I can produce numerous witnesses to attest to my identity. If you doubt me, ask the Rabbi, or Gottlieb. But, that one over there is Dov Tarnopolski. Don't let him put one over on you, Weichselbraun!

    Weichselbraun
    They've gone mad. (to the guard) Take these three outside. (pointing to Tarnopolski, the Rabbi, and Strauss)

    Guard (pointing his weapon)
    Kommt!

    (The three go out with the Guard.)

    Weichselbraun
    There, that's better. Now, you—you've always been a reasonable man, perhaps you will be reasonable now. I've always treated you well, haven't I?

    (Gottlieb remains silent.)

    Weichselbraun (irritated by the silence)
    You make no complaint, do you?

    Gottlieb
    No. No complaint.

    Weichselbraun
    Gut. Who brought you the drinks? (silence) Who brought you the drinks?

    Gottlieb
    Tarnopolski admitted that he brought it. I really don't know more than that.

    Weichselbraun (getting nasty)
    So, you don't know more than that! And he brought this bottle along in his pocket, did he?

    Gottlieb
    That's right, he pulled it out of his coat pocket.

    Weichselbraun
    Well, that's just what I wanted to hear. Put the bottle into your pocket. (he gives the bottle to Gottlieb) Why do you look at me so stupidly? Into your pocket, I said.

    Gottlieb (trying unsuccessfully)
    It doesn't fit.

    Weichselbraun
    Well, what a surprise! Now, tell me, where did you get the liqueur? Did Kurz bring it?

    Gottlieb
    No. Kurz didn't bring anything except aspirin for Dr. Strauss.

    Weichselbraun
    It had to be Kurz. Nobody else could have brought it into the cell. Confess!

    Gottlieb
    It wasn't Kurz. Just watch Tarnopolski.

    Weichselbraun
    Why should I ask that liar? So! You don't want to confess? You don't want to!

    Gottlieb
    Tarnopolski will explain it all. He knows all kinds of magic tricks— it's got something to do with relativity and Einstein.

    Weichselbraun
    Who's Einstein? Look, Jew, don't trifle with me. If it wasn't Kurz, it must have been Knoll.

    Gottlieb
    No. Knoll didn't bring us anything. Why don't you ask Tarnopolski?

    Weichselbraun (in a sadistic rage)
    You don't want to talk, you don't want to talk. I'll teach you to talk.

    (Weichselbraun lashes Gottlieb in a fury of impotent rage.)

    BLACKOUT

    When the lights go up, all the prisoners are back in the cell.

    Tarnopolski
    Let me have a look at your arm.

    Gottlieb
    It's nothing.

    Tarnopolski
    Why didn't you tell me about this immediately?

    Gottlieb
    Let it go. It's all over.

    Tarnopolski
    You should have told me.

    Strauss
    What I hate about this place is that you can never get any news. I'd pay twenty marks just to be able to listen to London.

    Tarnopolski
    How much?

    Strauss (cagily)
    Ten marks.

    Tarnopolski
    Give me ten marks and you shall listen to London.

    Strauss
    The money is here.

    Tarnopolski
    Voila!

    (Tarnopolski displays a radio. The cord seems to end in his pocket.)

    Strauss
    Another one of your illusions.

    Radio
    German motorized divisions suffered heavy losses between Smolensk and Warsaw.

    (The prisoners all huddle around the radio.)

    Radio
    Sixteen German submarines were sunk this month.

    Prisoners
    Hurrah!

    Rabbi
    It's amazing.

    Strauss (frightened)
    Someone is listening at the door.

    Radio
    Hitler is wrong if he thinks he can break the resistance of the democratic freedom-loving peoples. His present success may well fool the Germans—

    (Weichselbraun appears.)

    Weichselbraun
    But, what is this?

    Tarnopolski
    A radio, Weichselbraun. Listen, you haven't heard anything like it in years. Sit down and enjoy yourself.

    Radio
    —but Hitler, that criminal, and all his evil followers will not escape the punishment they deserve. Churchill has said—

    Weichselbraun
    This is— Do you know that this is? You'll be brought to court for this. Stop or I'll shoot. Stop, I say.

    (Weichselbraun brandishes his Luger.)

    Tarnopolski
    Don't get excited, Weichselbraun. You don't have to tremble for your beloved leader. Listen, now comes the best part.

    Weichselbraun
    Listen! I'll get the Lieutenant and let him handle this nest of subversives.

    (Weichselbraun goes out. Tarnopolski turns off the radio.)

    Strauss
    I congratulate you, Tarnopolski. Now you've really got us into something. Three days ago I read in the paper about a janitor who was condemned to death for listening to enemy broadcasts.

    Tarnopolski
    How could I know that? I'm a stranger here. And besides, it was you who ordered the radio. You're the intellectual originator, and you alone bear the responsibility. You will be shot, Hans Anton. It's a pity you were baptized, we won't be able to come to your funeral.

    Strauss
    Don't crack jokes. I insist you get rid of the corpus delicti instantly.

    Rabbi
    I think it would be advisable.

    Gottlieb
    Dr. Strauss is right.

    Tarnopolski
    All right, I'll do this favor for you. But on one condition. Turn around and cover your eyes.

    Strauss
    This is ridiculous.

    Rabbi
    We are not schoolchildren.

    Tarnopolski
    I insist.

    Strauss
    Very well.

    (The other prisoners turn around and cover their eyes.)

    Tarnopolski
    No cheating, please, Dr. Strauss.

    Rabbi
    Say when.

    (There is a sudden, short blackout. Suddenly we hear the sound of Liszt's Second Hungarian Rhapsody on a piano. As the lights go up, we see Tarnopolski seated on a stool playing at a piano that wasn't there before. The Lieutenant and Weichselbraun enter.)

    Lieutenant
    Weichselbraun, I always knew you were stupid, but even you should be able to tell the difference between a radio and a piano.

    Weichselbraun
    I don't understand this, sir. When I saw it, it was small. And it didn't play, it talked.

    Lieutenant
    Hmmm! I well believe you are incapable of understanding this. But, these Jews cannot fool a German officer. Not me. You know what this is? A hoax. A very ordinary, very cheap, Jewish hoax.

    Weichselbraun
    Yes sir. A cheap hoax, as the lieutenant says, sir.

    Lieutenant
    It's done with springs and buttons.

    Weichselbraun
    Springs and buttons.

    Lieutenant
    Press one spring, a radio. Press again, a piano. Do you understand me now, Weichselbraun?

    Weichselbraun
    Yes, sir.

    Lieutenant
    You have only to find the spring.

    (Tarnopolski has been playing throughout this conversation and continues to play as the Lieutenant fumbles around for the button.)

    Lieutenant
    Now, where is it? Patience, Weichselbraun.

    Weichselbraun
    Patience, sir.

    Lieutenant (crawling under the piano)
    A little patience and I will find the button.

    (The Guard comes to the door.)

    Guard
    Herr Lieutenant, you have an important telephone call.

    Lieutenant (irritated)
    Who is it? I'm busy.

    Guard
    Berlin, sir.

    Lieutenant (scrambling to his feet and hitting his head on the piano)
    Heil, Hitler. (rushing out) Come, Weichselbraun. We'll attend to this later.

    (Tarnopolski plays a final flourish and slams the piano like a professional concert pianist as Weichselbraun follows the Lieutenant out.)

    Rabbi
    What will we do when they come back?

    Tarnopolski
    I have another surprise for them.

    Strauss
    Enough of your surprises. Your surprises are going to get us all killed.

    Tarnopolski
    That's what they mean to do to us anyway, is it not?

    Strauss
    That is not entirely certain. With proper behaviour, it may be possible to appeal to their moral sentiments, and they will have no excuse—

    Gottlieb
    They need no excuse.

    Strauss
    They are not totally uncivilized. We will draft an appeal to the highest authorities protesting—

    Rabbi
    To Hitler, perhaps? A fine idea.

    Gottlieb
    Perhaps, you will finish your explanation of how you do this.

    Tarnopolski
    Just what kind of explanation are you talking about?

    Gottlieb
    Tarnopolski doesn't merely know how to pull pianos out of his pocket; he has a scientific explanation of how it is done.

    Rabbi
    Theories! Theories! The hungry infant yells for the breast and a nurse puts a rubber nipple in his mouth. Man is hungry for enlightenment and the scholar feeds him theories!

    Tarnopolski
    I'm not a scholar. There's no substitute for enlightenment. A theory is just a mirror. We control observations through observations, experience through experience, and theories through theories. Man cannot find his way out of such a circle.

    Rabbi
    Very good! Now, you have reached the point where I wanted you. Your overbearing agnosticism doesn't help you out of it.

    Tarnopolski
    What makes you think I want to get out of it? I am a tourist. Satisfaction lies in the voyage itself.

    Rabbi
    Only vagabonds and thieves travel without destination.

    Tarnopolski
    Is this, in your opinion, a natural or a moral maxim? I'm too weak a partner to be able to discuss moral laws with you.

    Rabbi
    I do not accept this distinction. Moral and natural laws have the same origin.

    Tarnopolski
    What moral laws? I know several.

    Rabbi
    I know only one.

    Tarnopolski
    The Dalai Lama in Tibet says the same thing—so does Hitler. In five thousand years all moral laws have undergone changes.

    Rabbi
    That is emphatically not true.

    Strauss
    I suggest this interesting discussion be postponed. I hear them coming.

    Tarnopolski
    Gentlemen, if you will turn your backs again.

    (The others turn away. There is a quick blackout and when the lights go up the piano is gone. The Lieutenant and Weichselbraun enter.)

    Weichselbraun
    My wife had a table you could pull out.

    Lieutenant
    That is something entirely different. A piano is not a table you can pull out.

    Weichselbraun (flabbergasted)
    It's gone!

    Lieutenant
    It's clear. They have pushed it in and put it away. We'll find it in a minute.

    (The Lieutenant begins peeping here and there, gets down on his hands and knees, but soon becomes frustrated. Weichselbraun, in spite of himself, is amused by the absurdity of his superior.)

    Lieutenant (noticing Weichselbraun)
    What makes you grin, Sergeant? (yelling at Strauss) Watch out, or I'll smash in your ugly snout! (pause, titters) Which one of you is Tarnopolski?

    Tarnopolski (coolly)
    I am.

    Lieutenant
    Where have you put the piano?

    Tarnopolski
    Have you seen a piano here? I don't know anything about it.

    Lieutenant
    Don't act up, Jew. I'm asking you officially—where is the piano?

    Tarnopolski (with studied insolence)
    My dear Lieutenant, you're making a mistake. It must have seemed that you saw it. Do you often have such illusions?

    Lieutenant (hysterically)
    Give me the piano, immediately, do you hear? Immediately!

    Strauss (terrified)
    Give it to him.

    Lieutenant
    Do you understand what I am telling you? I want the piano! Where have you hidden the piano? Give me that piano! Where is it? Talk! (jumping up and down) Give me the piano! I've seen it, it must be here! Do you hear? Give it here. I want that piano.

    (Slowly Tarnopolski removes a tiny piano from his pocket and hands it to the Lieutenant who stares at it, stupefied. Then he fumbles with it.)

    Lieutenant
    Where is the button? Uh, you swine. Do you make fun of a German officer? You will see. Just you wait.

    (The Lieutenant exits in a tearful fury followed by Weichselbraun.)

    Strauss
    What will happen now? Tarnopolski, don't you have any sense of what you are doing?

    Rabbi
    He's right. If you wish to play ducks and drakes with your own life, so be it. But, we prefer to live a bit longer.

    Gottlieb
    I still would like to know how he did it.

    Tarnopolski (displaying a small object)
    Gentlemen, my pocket condenser.

    Strauss
    Listen, Tarnopolski—with your apparatus you could—

    Tarnopolski
    Certainly, I could.

    Rabbi
    What good would that do us? We're on the third floor.

    Tarnopolski
    That would make no difference to me! If I wanted to escape, I could get out through the keyhole and take you along with me.

    Strauss (enthusiastically)
    Let's go!

    Tarnopolski (with a sweeping gesture)
    I haven't come to this prison just to get a few Jews whom I don't know out of it.

    Rabbi
    Then, you won't do it?

    Tarnopolski
    It's possible that I will do this favor for you—if I'm in the mood. But, it's just as possible that I won't.

    Gottlieb
    Your cavalier attitude is outrageous. You will not exercise your power to assist innocent people in the utmost distress—unless you are in the mood.

    Tarnopolski
    The three of you apparently think that I will turn my good thousand dollar bill into small change to give away to beggars penny by penny. Has it ever occurred to you that I have the key in my pocket that opens the gates to all the prisons in the world?

    Gottlieb
    No, it had not occurred to us, but if that is the case—if there's more to you than mere vaudeville, why—

    Rabbi
    And you? Has it occurred to you, that you, with this key in your pocket are just as much responsible for our imprisonment as Weichselbraun and Hitler if you refuse to help us.

    Tarnopolski (complacently)
    Of course, I have thought about it.

    Rabbi
    And, what do you say to it?

    Tarnopolski
    For the moment, nothing.

    Strauss (turning around and walking to his corner in a fury)
    Nothing! Nothing!

    Tarnopolski
    Let me show you something else. Do you know anything about acceleration?

    Gottlieb
    Acceleration?

    Tarnopolski
    The smallest object accelerated to a certain intensity acquires enormous energy.

    Gottlieb
    So?

    (Tarnopolski takes off his shoe and throws it to the floor. There is a loud explosion. A siren suddenly goes off.)

    Guard's voice
    That was a bomb.

    Strauss (coming out of his corner)
    Look. There's a big hole in the floor.

    (Enter Weichselbraun and the Lieutenant.)

    Weichselbraun
    What happened here? Tarnopolski, what is this hole?

    Gottlieb
    We don't know ourselves. Suddenly, there was a crash and then this hole.

    Weichselbraun
    Shut up! (to Tarnopolski) You are being asked. Stand at attention! (kicking Tarnopolski)

    Tarnopolski
    You can see for yourself. Just a hole. But, I want to show you something else. (pulling Gottlieb over and exposing his arm) Do you see this, Weichselbraun? Why did you torture this man, Weichselbraun? I want to know why you beat a defenseless man?

    (Weichselbraun looks puzzled at first, then hits Tarnopolski a tremendous blow in the face.)

    Weichselbraun
    So! Now you know.

    Tarnopolski (getting up and wiping away some blood)
    Of course, now I know.

    Lieutenant
    Did it stink of sulphur in here?

    Strauss
    It stinks of carbolic acid and—

    Weichselbraun
    But, who threw the bomb?

    Lieutenant
    Who else but the English?

    Weichselbraun
    We have no reports of the English over Vienna tonight.

    Lieutenant (wisely)
    You can't know about it if they're flying in the stratosphere.

    Weichselbraun
    Nonsense!

    Lieutenant (icily)
    Pardon me? What did you say?

    Weichselbraun (standing his ground)
    That is nonsense, I said. How can a bomb get through a window pane without breaking it?

    Lieutenant
    Ah, I see, the windowpane. That is, of course, an argument. The windows were of course, unhooked and let down. You should occasionally inspect the cells at night, Weichselbraun.

    Weichselbraun
    Maybe the windows were let down, but (brightly) there is the matter of the bars.

    Lieutenant
    Right, the bars. But, you will admit that a bomb could squeeze through them?

    Weichselbraun
    If it isn't too big.

    Lieutenant
    It wasn't. That you can see for yourself.

    Weichselbraun
    And the English threw it horizontally through the bars from the plane?

    Lieutenant
    Not exactly horizontally, but in an extended parabola. (cagily) You know, of course, what a parabola is, Weichselbraun?

    Weichselbraun
    A parabola?

    Lieutenant
    A parabola, little Weichselbraun.

    Weichselbraun
    No. I'm not curious. I know what I know. The parabola is a fraud.

    Lieutenant
    How dare you say that to me, Weichselbraun?

    Weichselbraun
    All right, in a parabola. But, please, the bomb comes flying horizontally through the window into the cell—and crashes vertically to the floor. I don't know. I only ask how this can be?

    Lieutenant
    That, of course, I am asking myself, too. There's only one answer for it—the bomb brushed against the bars in passing through.

    Weichselbraun
    But, the bomb would have exploded.

    Lieutenant
    If it didn't fail. It was probably a time bomb. The English throw bombs like that.

    Weichselbraun
    I think the Jews had a hand in it.

    Lieutenant
    All right, all right, Weichselbraun. We know this song of yours already.

    Weichselbraun
    This is not a song, you wait and see.

    (The Lieutenant and Weichselbraun go out.)

    Tarnopolski
    I am sorry you don't like my food, Rabbi. But, if you would like to visit me at home, I'm sure we could find something to eat there.

    Rabbi
    When does the next train leave for Poland?

    Tarnopolski
    Who's talking about Poland? My house is here. Like a snail, I carry it with me, except it's in my pocket, not on my back.

    (Tarnopolski produces a small house and puts it on the table.)

    Strauss (impressed)
    We didn't know you had a house.

    Tarnopolski
    Didn't I tell you that? I must have forgotten. It's not actually my house, if belongs to a friend of mine.

    Rabbi
    But, how are we going to get in there?

    Tarnopolski
    You'll see.

    (Weichselbraun returns.)

    Weichselbraun
    Tarnopolski, take all your things and follow me.

    Tarnopolski
    Where are you taking me?

    Weichselbraun
    You'll find out.

    Tarnopolski
    And my shoes? I have no others, and these slippers aren't mine.

    Weichselbraun
    I don't give a damn about your shoes. Whoever has taken them away from you can give them back. Are you ready? Forward, march.

    Tarnopolski
    I can't go without my shoes.

    Weichselbraun
    Why not?

    Tarnopolski
    I'm not used to walking around in my bare feet. I might catch cold.

    Weichselbraun
    You aren't going? You aren't going, you say?

    Tarnopolski
    I said, I cannot go without my shoes.

    Weichselbraun
    I'm warning you, Tarnopolski. We know how to handle malcontents like you.

    Strauss
    You'd better go. Resistance is useless.

    Tarnopolski
    Without my shoes, not another step!

    (Weichselbraun turns on his heel and walks out.)

    Strauss
    This was unnecessary.

    Rabbi
    You are not bringing danger only to yourself, but to us, too!

    Tarnopolski
    What, in your opinion, will happen now?

    Gottlieb
    Nothing special. You don't have to be afraid. A little squad of SS will come to pay us a visit. A very little squad. No more than ten men. They will knock gently at the door and gently and politely ask you if they can come in. If you're busy at the moment, they're accustomed to waiting. You have no idea how polite, civil, and kindly they are.

    Tarnopolski
    Then, I don't have to make any preparations for my defense?

    Strauss
    Not in the least. Absolutely not. It happened twice that down on the first floor the SS fired a volley into a cell and a prisoner was killed. Two others seriously wounded. Friendly misunderstanding.

    (A sound of clanking feet comes down the corridor and stops in front of the cell door.)

    Weichselbraun (from outside)
    Load!

    (All the prisoners except Tarnopolski dive for cover. Suddenly Tarnopolski produces a heavy antiaircraft cannon aimed straight at the door.)

    Tarnopolski
    Fire.

    Weichselbraun (as he opens the door)
    What the—

    (A tremendous flash and explosion. Silence.)

    Tarnopolski
    Nobody will disturb us anymore tonight, gentlemen. Come, supper is waiting.

    (The others slowly get up and stare as the curtain falls.)

    CURTAIN


    ACT II

    When the lights go up, we are in the library of a large European Villa. Tarnopolski is leading in his three guests. The library is in some disorder.

    Tarnopolski
    You don't have to be afraid. We are now entering the area of concentrated space. You must excuse all this. Some German soldiers lived here for three days. Before that it looked much friendlier, you may be sure.

    Strauss
    Where exactly was this place?

    Tarnopolski
    This villa was in a Polish village less than twelve miles from Warsaw.

    Rabbi
    What happened?

    Tarnopolski
    A very famous architect used to live here with his two daughters.

    Gottlieb
    It's quite a place.

    Tarnopolski
    I was invited to stay here before the war broke out. The main part of my work was finished at that time. I set up my laboratory in the cellar. The architect was the only person who knew about my research. It was amazing, the Germans left us alone for the longest time. One day, I went to buy some material in a nearby town and when I returned German soldiers were in the house.

    Rabbi
    What about the architect and his daughters?

    Tarnopolski
    Gone! Vanished. They'd been taken away before I could find out where or by whom. My questions made the soldiers suspicious. I was brought before their Lieutenant who was a young boy, no more than eighteen. When he found out I was a Jew he ordered me shot.

    Gottlieb
    Ah, Germans.

    Tarnopolski
    He was such a nice-looking boy, too. Well, they picked on the wrong Jew. I used my condenser and shrank them to the size of toy soldiers, and I kicked them out of the house.

    Strauss
    But, why did you shrink the house?

    Tarnopolski
    Because it was dear to me. Besides, if the Germans had come back, who knows what they would have done to it?

    Rabbi
    But, what about the owner and his daughters?

    Tarnopolski
    I could get no definite information. Several signs pointed to the fact that my friends had been taken to Vienna. That was the reason that I came here.

    Strauss
    And it was here you were arrested by the Gestapo.

    Tarnopolski
    That's right.

    Strauss
    On what charge?

    Tarnopolski
    No charge has been made.

    Gottlieb (looking at a woman's picture)
    Was this your friend's wife?

    Tarnopolski
    Yes. She died the year the picture was painted. She was driving her car and collided with a bus. She died instantly. A beautiful death.

    Strauss
    Why do you say that?

    Tarnopolski
    Dying instantly is better than dying old and burned out inside.

    Rabbi
    The Germans have other plans for us.

    Strauss (who has been busying himself at the table)
    Dinner is served, gentlemen.

    Rabbi (with a champagne glass)
    To your health, Tarnopolski.

    (Tarnopolski takes a large champagne glass from a shelf.)

    Rabbi
    Are you going to serve us champagne?

    Tarnopolski
    Unfortunately, no. I need the glass for other purposes. Enjoy your dinner, gentlemen. I am going away for a little while. Don't worry if I'm gone a little longer than that. You are perfectly safe here. Nothing can happen to you.

    (Tarnopolski goes out.)

    BLACKOUT

    When the lights go up, the three prisoners are all tense.

    Rabbi
    Where is he?

    Gottlieb
    He said we shouldn't worry.

    Strauss
    Why should we not worry? I'm worried.

    Rabbi
    Where is Tarnopolski?

    Strauss
    He's coming right back.

    Gottlieb
    He's been gone several hours.

    Rabbi
    I don't hear anything—and it's terribly dark outside.

    Strauss (pouring a drink)
    Let's state the case.

    Rabbi
    Stop it, Strauss.

    Strauss (louder)
    Let's state the case! What if something has happened to Tarnopolski?

    Rabbi
    Nonsense! What could have happened to him?

    Strauss
    How should I know? All right—only academically. I know that Tarnopolski will come back. With his powers he can suffer no harm. I don't doubt that at all! Only, I'm asking myself, what do we do if he doesn't come back?

    Gottlieb
    We'll be all right.

    Strauss
    Our cell is blocked in some way so the Germans can't get in. Very well. Our house is standing on the table in the cell. So, good. We are in the house and safe. Even better. But what I want to know is, if Tarnopolski does not come back, can we leave this house at all?

    Rabbi
    You have talked over Tarnopolski's theories with him. You seem to understand it better than we do. What do you think?

    Gottlieb
    I'm sure he'll come back.

    Rabbi
    Will we be able to get out if he doesn't?

    Gottlieb
    Maybe, but I doubt it. His laboratory is in the cellar. Perhaps, with time, I could fathom his notes, if he left any lying around.

    Strauss
    It's bad enough to die like a rat. If you're a Jew, you get used to that idea, but to die the size of a rat—

    Rabbi
    So, you admit you are Jewish!

    Strauss
    I admit no such thing. I was merely expressing my horror of the situation.

    Rabbi
    Bah!

    Gottlieb
    I rather wish we were back in Cell 84.

    Rabbi
    Do you know what freedom is?

    Gottlieb
    Yes, I think I know.

    Rabbi
    No, you don't know. And I don't know either. If I knew, I wouldn't be homesick for Cell 84. I wouldn't be homesick for Weichselbraun and the comfort of a dirty overcrowded little cell. How do we get back into it?

    Gottlieb
    I have no idea.

    (Enter Tarnopolski.)

    Strauss
    Are we glad to see you!

    Tarnopolski
    Sorry, I'm a little late.

    Strauss
    I've never been so glad to see anyone in my life.

    Rabbi
    The blessings of the Lord are many.

    Tarnopolski
    Sit down, I've brought you something.

    (Tarnopolski holds up the Champagne glass. In it is the miniature figure of Weichselbraun.)

    Strauss
    Look at that!

    Gottlieb
    He can't get out.

    Tarnopolski
    He'll never beat anyone again. This is the end of Weichselbraun.

    Strauss
    Why didn't you resist him when he hit you before?

    Tarnopolski
    If I had followed my first impulse, I would have killed him.

    Rabbi
    That would have been just, but not advisable, in view of the danger.

    Tarnopolski
    I could have done it without any danger.

    Gottlieb
    How?

    Tarnopolski
    Nobody would know that I had killed him. He would simply have disappeared, dematerialized down to the last nail in the heel of his shoe and his disappearance would have remained inexplicable and mysterious.

    Rabbi
    If I were you, I would have killed him.

    Tarnopolski
    I'm glad I didn't listen to the voice of my primeval ancestors. I've never killed a man, never even thought I would. But, if I had killed Weichselbraun, how would I be any better than he?

    Rabbi (indignantly)
    And you think you have to be better than the Germans? Better than the German who killed your brother, robbed your father, and raped your sister? Who humiliated you, spat at you, and mistreated you? Should we answer the concentration camps with kindergartens?

    Tarnopolski
    Are you under the impression I have answered Weichselbraun with sedatives? I have said, I repeat it, I don't want to be a murderer.

    Rabbi
    So forget all about it? Forgive them!

    Tarnopolski
    Just because I want to be better than Weichselbraun doesn't mean I want to pardon criminals or fraternize with them.

    Rabbi
    You're talking like a textbook on ethics. An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. That is the law. You growled at me before because I hoped that you would help us escape. Do you think it would be an irrational use of power to help a man who has been thrown into prison unjustly?

    Tarnopolski
    I shall have to disappoint you. Yes. That, too, would be an irrational use of power.

    Strauss
    Then, you won't help us!

    Tarnopolski
    I may help you—but you are only three among millions who have suffered a similar fate. Why do you think you have earned preferment above all the others?

    Strauss
    Helping us in no ways prevents you from helping others.

    Tarnopolski
    I can't go from cell to cell and let you out the back door one by one. My key opens the great gate.

    Rabbi
    Your philosophy is confused. You don't want to pay out petty cash or to spend your capital. We have heard everything you don't want. What do you want?

    Tarnopolski
    I have difficulty answering that question.

    Rabbi
    Why? It's a simple question.

    Tarnopolski
    You would have no trouble answering such a question because you have clearly defined limits.

    Rabbi
    And how are you any different?

    Tarnopolski
    My case is different. My possibilities are infinite. My case is unique without precedent. Besides, I have never been greedy for power. My only passions, other than mathematics, are good music and a good cigarette.

    Rabbi
    In your place, I would—

    Tarnopolski (interrupting)
    It doesn't matter what you would do in my place. I alone am faced with the decision and what I do must agree with my ideas of the world and not yours. Who wants more coffee?

    Rabbi
    I will make some. I learned the business in Greece.

    Tarnopolski
    Weichselbraun disturbs me here. (he puts the glass in the cupboard) In this room, I definitely established the scientific basis of my condenser. I'm sorry I can't give you a complete picture of the work I've done, what false leads I had to overcome. I really can't say how I had the patience to start over again so many times.

    Rabbi
    The dreamer does not give in!

    Tarnopolski
    My architect friend is intuitive while I am analytical. So, I consider my first task is to find him and get his advice. And I certainly will not undertake anything else before I've found him.

    Strauss
    We understand that, but you haven't found him since you got here or done anything in the way of looking for your friend.

    Tarnopolski
    That isn't entirely correct. When I went to get Weichselbraun, I first went to the reception office and took a look at the files.

    Rabbi
    And?

    Tarnopolski
    I didn't find the architect, but I ascertained that at about the right time a shipment of prisoners was brought to Vienna from Warsaw.

    Strauss
    It isn't impossible that the architect is still in Vienna. The Gestapo keeps certain prisoners in its own custody.

    Tarnopolski
    Have you any idea where?

    Strauss
    Probably in the building that was formerly the Hotel Metropol on Moritz Platz.

    Tarnopolski
    Is that far away? I don't know much about Vienna.

    Strauss
    No, it's not far. You can't miss the building, it's huge.

    Tarnopolski
    How about the cells? Where are they?

    Strauss
    I'm not sure, but I suspect in the basement.

    Tarnopolski
    I might still go there tonight. If I don't find the architect here, I fear I'll have to go back to Poland.

    Rabbi
    If I had been you, I wouldn't have come here at all without reliable information.

    Strauss
    Hunting like this only loses valuable time.

    Tarnopolski
    If the architect can't be found here, then, of course, I've made a mistake. But he was a quiet, withdrawn person who did not stand out in either wealth or politics—so I suppose the Germans would treat him no differently than the other three hundred thousand Jewish intellectuals who were arrested at the same time.

    Strauss
    But, was he known in professional circles?

    Tarnopolski
    He was known. Two years ago he received first prize in an international contest to redesign the state opera in Rio de Janeiro.

    Strauss
    Therefore, he was an exceptional person. We must assume the Germans knew about him.

    Tarnopolski
    But, why would they separate him from the others?

    Strauss
    We cannot be sure. Maybe he seemed suspicious because of his connections abroad.

    Gottlieb
    Possibly they needed him to serve in their war machine.

    Tarnopolski
    He would never have lent himself to that.

    Strauss
    Certainly. But, if he refused to cooperate, you may be sure they treated him accordingly.

    Tarnopolski
    Damn them!

    Strauss
    These are idle speculations. You must look for such persons as can give you positive clues. With your condenser that is no problem whatsoever.

    Tarnopolski
    What should I do, in your opinion?

    Strauss
    Return to Poland and try to find a trace of him right there. The farther you go from there, the smaller your chances are. You will have to proceed quickly, energetically, and unscrupulously.

    Tarnopolski
    Unscrupulously!

    Strauss
    Certainly—when needed. And it will be needed. You are dealing with the Gestapo.

    Tarnopolski
    You are right. In the morning I shall go back to Poland. Can I count on your help?

    Strauss
    We shall help you. Leave the organization of the search to me. I have experience in such matters.

    Rabbi (swatting at something)
    A moth.

    Strauss
    Leave it alone. Why do you want to kill it?

    Rabbi
    Why should I spare a destructive animal?

    Strauss
    Because this destructive creature is an important factor in the mechanics of capitalist society.

    Rabbi
    But, last summer, you important factor ate up my coat and my wife's furs.

    Strauss
    Yes, and millions of dollars worth of dinner jackets, overcoats, scarves, oriental rugs, draperies, and blankets.

    Rabbi
    All the more reason to destroy such a destructive creature.

    Strauss
    Nonsense. Think how many sheep ranchers, weavers, textile factories, seamstresses, not to mention merchants, this poor moth keeps busy. This little moth in the last analysis also supplies part of your income as Rabbi.

    Rabbi
    You don't say so! I was under the impression that I depended on my kehillah. I must immediately inform my wife of this.

    Strauss
    It's one of the paradoxes of our way of life. We could not possibly remove the negative elements which destroy human products without stopping the wheels of industry and putting millions out of work.

    Rabbi
    So! The moth is not harmful. No doubt you will propose to raise them and put them under legal protection.

    Strauss
    That's not a bad idea, Rabbi.

    Rabbi
    Perhaps you would be satisfied to found an international institute to investigate means of improving their living conditions.

    Strauss
    That's an even better idea. If I do, I will name it after you—the Moritz institute.

    Rabbi
    Do you by chance have another scheme which would allow us to exterminate moths?

    Strauss
    Of course I have.

    Gottlieb
    Strauss has a scheme for everything, depend upon it.

    Tarnopolski
    It seems to me we are not meeting here to resolve this question, however interesting. The Rabbi asked me, what do I really want? After listening to this, I think I can answer you now.

    Rabbi
    Hear, hear!

    Tarnopolski
    When I finished my research, I felt overjoyed with a feeling of accomplishment and power.

    Rabbi
    Natural enough.

    Strauss
    Certainly, yours is a stupendous achievement.

    Tarnopolski
    To live means to resist the threats of nature. When man found he could resist better by joining with other men, he created the social contract. Thus far, everything is clear and simple.

    Rabbi
    Clear and simple blasphemy.

    Tarnopolski
    I need society, society needs me.

    Strauss
    This is good. I could use this argument with a jury.

    Tarnopolski
    In other words, I am social and I am disposed to use my power socially.

    Rabbi
    Hear, hear!

    Tarnopolski
    There are four of us in our cell. We have common desires and troubles —in this respect our interests are identical. But, we each have individual interests in conflict with the common interests. In short, we are a little society.

    Strauss
    Ah, but we are here against our will.

    Tarnopolski
    Whoever decides for himself what society he will be a member of? We are born into society and few of us ever change.

    Strauss
    That's true, that's true.

    Tarnopolski
    On the other hand, everything that we consider social is not necessarily social for Cell 83 next door.

    Rabbi
    So, what do you deduce?

    Tarnopolski
    From this, we deduce that every society, in pursuing its common goals runs into the danger of coming into conflict with other societies which have an equal right to exist.

    Gottlieb
    None of this is new.

    Tarnopolski
    Certainly not. I am not a social innovator. But, you see, I, more than any other man, possess the power to overcome nature. I could become a tyrant over the rest of mankind. But, that would not be enough to assure me of my fundamental right.

    Strauss
    What right is that?

    Tarnopolski
    Happiness. For the most part, I cannot change the conditions of nature. I doubt whether I would render humanity a service by doing so.

    Rabbi
    I agree with you. If man always had what he needed he would be, without knowing it, infinitely happy—but then he wouldn't be able to read or write.

    Tarnopolski
    Man does nothing that he doesn't have to do.

    Rabbi
    So, you conclude what, exactly?

    Tarnopolski
    Man is happy only when searching for a better life.

    Rabbi
    But, man lives in the present.

    Tarnopolski
    If I could be sure that any one order of society would make men happy I would force it on him, because it is within my power. But there is no such order.

    Strauss
    There you are right. There is no law that will make man happy.

    Rabbi
    There is God's law. Living is happiness enough if we do not distort the meaning.

    Tarnopolski
    Leave man to himself and he will find his own way. (excitedly) Man is governed through his imagination. Because of an invisible god and an invisible paradise, he'll let himself be driven by emperors, popes, demagogues and dictators.

    Rabbi
    There you go again with your freethinking. You make sense one minute, then you start your blasphemy.

    Tarnopolski
    Technical progress now makes it possible to do without such substitutes. A machine gun is cheaper and easier to handle than a bishop.

    Strauss (maliciously)
    Or a rabbi.

    Tarnopolski
    But, machine guns are conquered by other machine guns—and above them all, stands Dov Tarnopolski, the unknown Jew from Warsaw.

    Strauss
    What are you getting at?

    Tarnopolski
    It should be enough for people to hear about me. It should be enough for them to know that somewhere in the world there is a man who fears no man, whom no one can subjugate or kill. A man whose arm reaches through the most powerful armor into the darkest hiding places. A man who wants neither recognition nor honors. A man who wants neither to command nor to be commanded. There is only one thing I will not tolerate. Selfish power, violence or tyranny! That is what I want.

    Rabbi
    Twenty-five centuries ago, Lao Tze said that the wise man operates without action, creates without effort, does good and vanishes.

    Tarnopolski
    And vanishes.

    (Suddenly, he and all the characters vanish. There is a silence. The stage remains empty and the curtain falls.)


    CURTAIN