THE COMEDY OF THE MASK

An Anonymous 19th Century Play

Etext by Dagny
This Etext is for private use only. No republication for profit in 
print or other media may be made without the express consent of the 
Copyright Holder. The Copyright Holder is especially concerned about 
performance rights in any media on stage, cinema, or television, or 
audio or any other media, including readings for which an entrance fee 
or the like is charge. Permissions should be addressed to: Frank 
Morlock, 6006 Greenbelt Rd, #312, Greenbelt, MD 20770, USA or 
frankmorlock@msn.com. Other works by this author may be found at 
http://www.cadytech.com/dumas/personnage.asp?key=130

              Translated and Adapted from the French by

                     Frank J. Morlock
                     C 1999

Characters:

The Chatelain His Intendant His Wife The Serving Girl The Master of a Troupe of Strolling Players Strolling Actors:
     Harlequin
     Pantalon
     Celio
     Colombine

Scene

In the hall of an old castle. One notices a young, beautiful and melancholy lady. She's seated in a large armchair. Her servant, not far from her is creating a large tapestry. The young woman yawns. One of the doors opens abruptly. The Chatelain and his intendant enter, dressed for the hunt. The Chatelain is a very handsome man of thirty. The intendant is a majestic sexagenarian.

Chatelain
My dear, just like in the drama of Ruy Blas, which was received in Paris with some success, I will say to you: Madame, there's a strong wind and I've killed six wolves. (silence) That doesn't seem to interest you very much. (silence) Allow me to dwell on it, so you will understand all the interest of the event. Captain in the corps of wolf hunters, which was founded in 1250 by my paternal ancestor, such a hunting ancestry transports me with enthusiasm. I am going to write about it to some of my friends in the town and, in a week, all the papers will be talking of me. (silence) Pardon, my darling, but could it be you are asleep all the while seeming awake?

Wife (in a very sweet voice)
No, my dear, I am not asleep.

Chatelain
Then, give me the words of admiration that I expect from you.

Wife (very calm)
I sincerely congratulate you, indeed.

Chatelain
You are rather—calm. Nevertheless, what you tell me is preferable to silence. (getting animated) Look, my darling, think how in love I am with your adorable person.

Wife (melancholy)
Ah, my friend, how good you are!

Chatelain
Think that, even during the hunt, I was thinking of you! Like this morning, I saw something moving in a thicket. I fired. It was the first of six wolves. I said to myself: “Ah, what will she say when she hears of this masterful rifle shot?” A half an hour later, I saw something moving in a thicket. I fired. It was the second wolf. I said to myself—

Wife
What will she say when she hears of this masterful rifle shot?

Chatelain
In what perfect agreement you and I live! You guessed it. you see, indeed, that I think of you even during the hunt.

Wife
Thanks.

Chatelain
I'm in the habit of thinking out loud. At each of the other wolves I shot, right until evening. I spoke your name. My assistant can witness it.

Intendant
I witnessed it.

Chatelain
I love you to the point of sacrificing eating and drinking.

Wife
But, not to the point of sacrificing the hunt.

Chatelain
The hunt gives pleasure to the gods. It is the distraction of gentlemen.

Wife
The hunt and stories about the hunt bore me to death. And then, I don't like people to hurt animals.

Chatelain
Wolves are not likeable.

Wife
They say that a wolf defending her cubs is superbly heroic.

Chatelain
Listen to the defense of wolves in the castle of a captain of the wolf hunters corps! I must love you to be able to stand that! Anyone else but you, madame— (the serving girl coughs) Do you have a cold, Miss Serving Girl of my wife?

Serving girl
No, milord. You know quite well it's the agreed signal! When a discussion between you and your wife drags out, I cough. Then you speak of other matters and avoid sharp words.

Intendant
And immediately after the signal, it is I, who with my subtle wit, well known to all those who know me—it is I who am charged with finding a subject to change the subject.

Chatelain
Exercise your talents, Mr. Intendant, sir, for I feel myself boiling.

Intendant
At your request, milord! I am going to tell our exquisite Chatelaine, you, and the serving girl a story of the hunt.

Wife (bored)
That's what you call changing the subject?

Intendant
Madame, I beg you to be patient and hear me. You'll understand shortly that this is no ordinary hunting tale. Madame, before becoming a tired sexagenarian, I was a quadragenarian, outrageously suspicious, but in love with my wife. In those days, I hunted regularly on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, from dawn to dusk. One day, I was out for about two hours and I noticed I'd forgotten my cartridges. I went back two hours and returned to the house. In the antechamber, I opened the cartridge drawer. I put them in my cartridge case. At that moment—pay careful attention to me if you please—I heard voices in the salon. The voice of my wife and the voice of a man! Milord, what would you have done in my place?

Chatelain
You take me a bit at a disadvantage.

Intendant
I looked through the keyhole.

Chatelain
Oh, my intendant, I hope that's a procedure you don't currently employ.

Intendant
No. Only on great occasions. A spectacle spread itself before my wide open eye. Before the keyhole—a spectacle that I will never forget in my life. My wife was seated on a sofa and an elegant gentleman was kneeling at her feet. I could see only his back. My wife was caressing his hair.

Chatelain
Ah, my poor friend. I didn't know such a misfortune was darkening your existence.

(The wife and the serving girl laugh.)

Chatelain (indignant)
Madame! And you, Miss! A bit of tact, if you please!

Intendant
Milord, I continue. The gentleman said: “Accept, Eleanor, accept this jewel.” My blood froze. Indeed, my eye noticed a large diamond that shone on the third finger of my wife's left hand.

Chatelain
Oh, it's shameful to hear.

Serving girl
Oh, it's never shameful for a woman to wear a jewel on the third finger of her left hand!

Chatelain
Miss!

Intendant
Thirst for vengeance dried my throat at once! I slid a cartridge into my rifle. I felt like Jupiter thundering. I hadn't yet thundered, since I hadn't fired, but still, you understand?

Chatelain
Why torture yourself with the memory of this adventure. The past is past.

Intendant
I pushed the door open with a kick. My air of Jupiter thundering made my wife turn pale. She rose. The man also rose.

Chatelain
Did you shoot? As for me, I would have!

Wife
Oh, my friend.

Serving girl
Oh, milord.

Intendant (gravely)
I didn't do it.

Chatelain
A question of character, a question of character, sir.

Intendant
And I don't regret it.

Chatelain
Each of us understands conjugal honor in his own way.

Intendant
That man was my wife's brother.

Wife (laughing)
What a relief.

Intendant
Yes, the brother of my wife, who left many years before for the Anincos and who we thought dead because he had a horror of writing letters, even three lines, to give us news.

Chatelain
It is certain, that in this situation, the anecdote takes on a most reassuring aspect. Everything is straightened out.

Intendant
He was sweet enough to bring his sister a diamond worth a fortune. We fell into each others' arms, but my rifle fell and a shot went off.

Wife and serving girl
Oh! Heavens!

Chatelain
It's turning tragic again. Everything's not straightened out.

Intendant
The smoke filled the room.

Wife and serving girl
Oh!

Chatelain
Without intending to, you killed your brother-in-law or your wife. I was unaware of this drama. Ah, how I pity you.

Intendant
The bullet didn't kill either my brother-in-law or my wife.

Chatelain
Ah, good. Things are straightened out again!

Intendant
It was hot. We could taste the weather.

Wife
We understand you.

Intendant
The bullet didn't do any great harm. It split open the head of philosophy.

Chatelain
What are you saying?

Intendant
A hanging that horrified me. It represented philosophy meditating on the melancholy of ruins. That's my hunting story. I am not unhappy with the way I told it, intending to distract certain intelligent people. I know how to mix the playful and the disturbing elements. Moreover, it's a story with a moral. It proves that suspicions between husbands and wives often are only ridiculous useless things.

Chatelain
My dear intendant, you are an optimist.

Wife
He's right.

Chatelain
I thank you for the intelligent diversion that you furnished my vanity which was wounded by the indifference of my spouse. May it be no more than a question of that. Go, display the wolves in the court of the castle. I hope, madame, that in a few moments you will come to admire their bodies? In the torchlight the sight will be impressive.

Wife (starting)
Alas, for me it would be a disgusting spectacle.

Chatelain
Force yourself! To please me.

(The serving girl coughs.)

Intendant
The signal. Milord, sit at your desk. Write to your friends in the village to describe your exploits. Think of the papers. I will go display the wolves. In default of our adorable mistress, I will seek out some of our neighbors hereabouts. I am your servant. (leaves)

Chatelain (sitting at a table to write)
And as for me, I am of your opinion. Huh? I just made a pun. I've noticed that hunting success always excites my imagination. But, to work. First the letter. “My dear Duke, I am with these lines informing you of news that rejoices my heart.” That's not bad, but the Duke might believe that I am the happy father of a healthy child. That's not how we must begin. “My dear Duke, Captain of the wolf hunt since 1250, as you know—” Hum! That's not precise. Let's see. “My dear Duke.” Hum! To think, there are people who are writers—and they enjoy it. Oh, to see a blank piece of paper in front of you. It makes you think of a desert. Hum! “My dear Duke, You are not unaware that in 1250 the wolf hunt became a career for well born men. There have since been many events.” That isn't any good! I can't possibly tell him in a letter everything that has happened in Europe since 1250 until my massacre of these six wolves today. (pause, wife yawns) Are you yawning, madame?

Wife
Yes, sir.

Chatelain
Why?

Wife
I miss the big city.

Chatelain
Don't you have an occupation? Crocheting—tapestry making—I don't know what? Take example from me. I never remain idle. I hunt and see— tonight I'm sweating blood to write a letter. I don't have time to get bored.

(The serving girl coughs.)

Chatelain
The signal. “My dear Duke—My dear Duke, I write to ask a service of you that cannot be refused to a man of honor—a service under the seal of secrecy.” Hum! He's going to think I want to borrow money from him. (wife yawns) Are you yawning again, madame?

Wife
Yes, sir.

(The intendant enters and salutes.)

Intendant
Milord, a troupe of strolling players asks for the hospitality of the castle. What should I do?

Wife
Have them in. Have them in right away! What joy! Strolling players in this eagle's nest.

Chatelain
Madame, in an eagle's nest, what will mountebanks do?

Wife
Distract me, sir!

(The serving girl coughs.)

Intendant
They are extremely polite, milord, and appear well. Their costumes are a dash unusual in their kind.

Wife
Run, I tell you! I want you to give them a good reception.

Intendant
I run, madame, I am running as quickly as is possible for me. (leaves)

Wife
Why this sour face, milord? Do you want me to make me think you are bad? Would you let these poor folks sleep under the stars? But, what am I saying? There are no stars in the sky this evening. The wind is blowing, the rain falling and those who have no abode because they travel from town to town to amuse others are, indeed, to be pitied, sir.

Chatelain
Well, my dear, I have nothing against them! What puts me in a bad mood is your air of reproaching me for the life you lead here. After all, your life is that of all Chatelains' wives.

Wife
I don't disagree, but you'd be wrong to take so seriously some yawns of a young woman and a few words said without malice. Aren't you young, too?

Chatelain
When I talk to you about wolves, you remain silent. I have to tear words from you, one by one—and then, you speak as if you were ill. And then, you seem to not realize that an eagle's nest is very beautiful.

Wife
Very beautiful, indeed. The traveler stops on his way to contemplate it. The dungeons are still standing—and make one think of some old warriors who didn't want to die—so as to watch the sayings and doings of their descendants.

Chatelain
My darling, you've never spoken to me this way before.

Wife
Have you ever questioned me, milord? You think I'm light because I ask you a light grace—to see, for a moment, under the chandeliers, furbelows of the theatre which will bring back certain past delights to me. If we were in the city, what would prevent me from going to the theatre? Judge a little what it is I beg you to grant me.

Chatelain
You've given orders to the intendant to have these people come. I surely don't wish to give a contrary order.

Wife
Leave them to me! I will leave the wolves to you, I promise that. I will even go to see them lined up in the torch light.

Chatelain
Is it a caprice? Give and take? If some clowns hadn't come tonight, you'd have kept your disdain for my exploits of a brave man who hunts savage beasts.

(The serving girl coughs. The intendant appears.)

Intendant
Madame, here are the players. They've rid themselves of their cloaks and they are going to appear before you as if they were going on stage.

Master of the troupe
Madame, milord. I speak as the leader of the troupe. We would never have dared to appear before you, if your intendant had not invited us. Excuse our great liberty. A wheel of our carriage broke. It cannot be repaired until tomorrow morning. No one could give us lodging in the village. They advised us to climb your mountain. Perhaps there is a deserted, unused hall, a barn, some coach house or shed where we could sleep wrapped in our cloaks. Men and women, we are used to it.

Wife
Sir, you will sleep neither in a deserted hall nor in a barn. Still less in a coach house or shed. We are not lacking in rooms. An old fortress had rooms to lodge many. And we will offer you food tonight and tomorrow before you leave.

Master
Madame, we intended to thank you for the least hospitality by offering you a show. You may imagine with what heart, in the face of such favors, we renew our proposition.

(Murmured approval.)

Wife
What pleasure you will give me—even greater as it is unexpected.

Chatelain (low)
Would you see these theatre costumes a moment and behold our hall of state become a stage at a fair?

Wife (low)
Come! Don't pout over this brief distraction which presents itself to me.

Master
The shape of this hall, unexpected in a fortress castle, is suited marvelously to the sketch we are going to play. Let's push the armchairs back. (uproar) Without other spectators other than you, milord, madame, the serving girl and the intendant, you are, madame, going to have the impression of a charmingly real production. It will be as if the old Italian comedy was resurrected especially for you. All the actors wear masks. Colombine's is red: it allows you to see her smile and shining white teeth. She's dressed as a Florentine dancer. Harlequin's mask is black with an eagle's beak. That of Pantalon is violet, a serious color which agrees with an old man in his fifties, dressed in black. That of Celio is heavenly blue, the color of the soul of this good young man. The actors will retire to the corridor except for Colombine who will remain with us.

(Colombine takes a mirror from a bag hanging from her belt and begins to look at herself with a gracious composure.)

Master
Here comes Celio, son of a good family. Poor, but honest. He approaches timidly.

Celio (in a murmur)
Colombine, my darling, my sweet adorable Colombine. I am here.

(Colombine looks in her mirror.)

Celio
Don't you hear what I am murmuring amorously in your ear, which is pretty as a seashell. (Colombine continues to preen) Colombine, I am here. I am here, I am beside you. I am near, I am speaking to you aloud in an intelligible voice. I am here. Answer me. I am here. You know, indeed, that I love you. I am here. Alas, I have no eloquence and I feel stupid. (Colombine continues to preen) You put me in despair. I left papa and mama to follow you, and you are looking at yourself in the mirror instead of looking at me! I am going to drown myself.

(Music begins. Colombine rises and begins to dance, all the while preening in her mirror.)

Celio
There she is, dancing instead of answering me. She's even more pretty dancing than when she doesn't dance. In the name of the love I have for you, stop twisting like a butterfly. Colombine, I am here! I am here. Here and there, there and here. I pursue you. I pursue you in vain. I am totally out of breath. Now you've finished dancing, hear me! Ah! There she is, continuing to preen in her mirror. Well, since that's the way it is, I'm not going to drown myself yet. I'm going to Switzerland where there are plenty of streams. And that's where I'll drown myself, cruel girl, to be more certain of the result! Damn! I don't know what keeps me from putting this fatal plan into action.

(Pantalon comes forward.)

Pantalon
What's wrong with you, young man, to utter cries that much resemble roars, incoherent roars at that? You will probably tell me, young man, that roars are always incoherent. I grant you that. Having said that, I still say, I, Doctor Pantalon, that in my opinion, your attitude is ridiculous in the extreme.

Celio
Ah, sir, you don't understand anything about love.

Pantalon
And you, young man, you think you know something about it? Do you think love was created and put in the world for whippersnappers of your age?

Celio
Then, for what age group was it put here?

Pantalon
For folks over sixty!

Celio
Oh, sir, what you say is not reasonable.

Pantalon
It's fine for you to talk about reason! As if reason could reside in your little skull!

Celio
Why, after all, sir, why are you telling me these disagreeable things? I've never seen you before; I've never displeased you.

Pantalon
What are you doing here, near this young person?

Celio
I love her, sir.

Pantalon
Little rascal, I forbid you to importune her! It's not enough to love a woman, you have to have manners. It is at my age, and not at yours, that one has manners.

Celio (tearfully)
You crush my heart.

Pantalon
Little rascal, who dares to place your attentions on the woman I've got designs on, I am going to give you a healthy lesson! After that, you will do me the pleasure of returning to the home of your parents, who must be in prayer, asking themselves in anguish what has become of you. You are going to witness my easy triumph. Hum! Hum! Colombine, my darling, my sweet, my adorable Colombine, would you be good enough not to look in your pocket mirror for the space of a minute? (silence during which Colombine continues to preen) What's this ringing in your ear which, by the way, is pretty like a seashell? (shakes some gold, silence, Colombine preens away) It's gold, a lot of gold. Ha! What's this shining in my hand, Miss? Jewels! (silence, Colombine continues preening) Hum! What's this I am unfolding, Miss? (silence, Colombine preens) It's a document. (silence, Colombine preens) What's written on this document? My will. The last will and testament of the most celebrated doctor in Bologna! No one should die without a will. That's why, my beauty, I have named you my sole heir! (silence, Colombine still preens) (slowly) S-o-l-e heir! (silence, Colombine preens) (rapidly) Sole heir! Colombine! Colombine! (music, Colombine awakens like a doll and starts dancing) That's nice! She's dancing, instead of listening to me. (Colombine whirls and writhes to the music) Colombine! I am here! I am here! Here! Here and there! Ah, I can't take any more. Ouf! I'm going to fall on my behind. (sits on the ground as the music stops and Colombine returns to her mirror) Young man, help me to get up. (Celio does) Thanks. Colombine, now that you've finished this beautiful dance, will you lend me an attentive ear. (silence as Colombine preens) She's not listening to me!

Celio
Ha! Ha! Ha! Dear doctor, I thank you for the lesson you've given me. Ha, ha, ha! Gold, diamonds, wills. Mighty attractions. Colombine dances. Colombine is mocking you.

Pantalon
Young man, as you can see, I am spent, out of breath, half dead and irritated. Irritated to a point I cannot express. And, even speechless!

Celio
What do you expect? Colombine has a beautiful soul, a disinterested soul.

Pantalon
Shake hands, young man. You and I are unappreciated. (Harlequin appears) Hush! Harlequin of Bergamo has just entered. I don't like that ruffian.

Harlequin
Hello, gents! What 'cha doing here?

Pantalon
Us? We're having a discussion.

Celio
Yes, yes, we're having a discussion.

Harlequin
Too near, for my liking, to Miss Colombine. It's true, she pays no attention to you. She's admiring herself in her little mirror. Colombine, my darling, my sweet, my adorable Colombine, listen to me.

Pantalon
She isn't listening to you any more than she is to us.

Harlequin
We shall see about that.

Pantalon
I bring her opulence!

Celio
I bring her love.

Harlequin
As for me, strength.

Pantalon
Go on, Mr. Harlequin. Try your luck. Ha, ha, ha!

Harlequin
In two minutes, she'll be mine.

Pantalon
Act! Act! Ha, ha, ha, don't waste time on words.

Celio (low)
Be quiet, Doctor. You know Harlequin is capable of the most despicable acts.

Harlequin
Attention! I am beginning. Colombine, I'm here.

(Colombine looks in her mirror.)

Pantalon
I said that, too. Ha, ha, ha.

(Colombine continues to preen.)

Harlequin
Colombine, I am here.

Celio
Me, too. I said that! Alas!

Harlequin
Colombine, instead of looking at yourself in your mirror, look at me.

Pantalon
I'm guffawing, ha, ha, ha.

(Colombine puts her mirror in her bag.)

Harlequin
Instead of guffawing, notice she's putting her mirror back in her bag.

Celio
I'm going to faint.

Pantalon
I'm choking with rage.

Harlequin
My turn to laugh! Ha, ha, ha! I win.

(Music. Colombine begins to dance.)

Harlequin
Why, what's she doing?

Pantalon
Ha, ha, ha. Why, as you can see, she's dancing.

Harlequin
Colombine! I spoke to you! What kind of manners are these? Have you finished spinning like a top? Am I a faint-hearted lover like this callow youth? Or a sighing grotesque, like this old pork barrel who thinks he's an old bean?

Pantalon
Discourteous and inadmissible remarks.

Harlequin (in a deep and threatening voice)
Be careful, Colombine. I'll whack you, Colombine. (seizes her, the music stops) You are really a little thing in my arms. You are my prey and I will carry you off. No one here will ever see you again. (pulls her along out)

Pantalon
I protest. Young man, I am in an indescribable fury!

Celio
Is my heart still beating? She was indifferent. She was dancing without a care for my love. But, she was there! And, her disdain was preferable to her absence.

(Harlequin returns alone.)

Pantalon
Harlequin's returning to pick a fight with us, no doubt. He's alone.

Celio (between his teeth)
Let him pick a fight with me. I know how to defend myself. I have a sword.

Pantalon
But look, he's walking with a lowered head.

Harlequin (in a heavy voice)
I am not coming as an enemy. Put back your sword, callow youth who loves Colombine. I held her tight in my arms, and I was in such a delirium of happiness that I flew instead of running. Suddenly, it seemed as if she slipped softly from my grasp. So I held her tighter. Still my arms were shrivelled against my chest. She disappeared through magic and, in my hands, all that remained was a little flower. Perhaps, this is the remainder of Colombine.

(Harlequin, Celio and Pantalon stagger like dolls out of joint.)

Master
Madame, the comedy is finished. Doctor Pantalon, the man with diamonds; Celio, the callow youth with the tender heart; Harlequin, the formidable ruffian; all fall to the earth. The play is over, the dolls are broken.

Wife
Ah! I would like to see the dolls rise again. I regret the comedy is over.

(Pantalon, Celio and Harlequin rise.)

Master
That regret is more precious than compliments, madame. At your wish, the dolls arise. They now become men again, like others, and they salute you.

Wife
One thing—in my opinion—the scenario lacked—

Master
What, madame?

Wife
I would like to see the formidable Harlequin carrying off Colombine, running through the empty streets, and like a dreamer awaking from a beautiful dream, suddenly finding himself all alone.

Master
That's a feasible scenario.

Wife
Do you know, that if I was a member of your troupe, I would love to play the role of Colombine?

Master
Madame, I wouldn't dare to propose it. The girl who plays Colombine is a remarkable dancer. Would you play the kidnap scene?

Wife
I'm afraid of being a bit clumsy.

Master
The part will be very easy for you, madame. All you have to do is bear yourself gracefully as you are carried off.

Wife
Milord, will you allow me?

Chatelain
Darling, I see you too happy this evening, not to accede to the least of your wishes.

Master (clapping his hands)
We'll start at the place where the Harlequin seizes Colombine. Stand here, madame.

(Music. The wife is standing motionless. Harlequin rushes toward her.)

Harlequin
I'll whack you, Colombine! You are really a little thing in my arms. No one here will ever see you again. (turning softly to her and holding her in his arms and speaking to her in a deep voice) I turn, with you, madame in the parade hall of the old fort. But we are no longer there. In my imagination, I take you across the rail of a dark forest, where torrential waters flow across snow-covered mountains leading to a marble city on the shore of a gulf drowned in sunlight.

Wife (low)
Senor Harlequin, won't you get tired running around the world carrying me?

Harlequin (low)
No, Colombine! The one one loves with a great love is never a burden.

Wife
And, if love ends in death?

Harlequin
You know well enough, Colombine, that love is eternal.

(Music.)

Wife (low)
Senor Harlequin, you hold me too tight.

Harlequin (low)
Because I fear you'll escape my grip. Didn't I tell you, you would be my prey?

(Music.)

Chatelain (low)
Intendant, I must speak to you. (whispers in his ear) Did you understand?

Intendant (low)
I understand clearly, milord.

(The Intendant leaves. Music.)

Wife (low)
Senor Harlequin, I am choking in your arms.

Harlequin (low)
Don't complain of my grip. You know, indeed, that fate wants you to escape from me. (aloud) Madame, you are sliding from my arms and here you are beside your husband.

(Harlequin places her before the Chatelain.)

Chatelain
The scene terminates in a very satisfactory way. I congratulate Harlequin, not only for his talents as a dancer, but also for the grace with which he carries, without tiring, the most charming of burdens. If all the actors will go down to the first floor, a light meal is awaiting you in the large hall. Eat, drink, sing, and dance, if you like. You are to consider yourselves at home and the servants will show you your rooms. Goodnight, everyone.

Actors
Goodnight, milord, and a thousand thanks.

(The actors leave, bowing.)

Wife
You aren't angry with me, milord?

Chatelain
Angry with you, my darling? And, why should I be? In the course of the play, I was thinking I'd wronged you greatly. A little distraction, a little pleasure—that's needed to help a young wife suppress little boredoms and little annoyances.

(The Intendant rushes in, breathless.)

Intendant
Milord, milord! A man has just arrived at the castle, soaked, covered with mud. He's travelled two leagues tonight to warn that a troop of wolves has penetrated the valley where your large farm is located. They are calling on you for help.

Chatelain
My dear, you're going to say one never has done with these wolves.

Wife
Alas, I will only be saying the truth!

Chatelain
Ring the alarm! Awaken the guards and the grooms! Saddle the horses. To arms! To arms! Have torches lit.

Wife
You're going now!

Chatelain
Would you prefer that I wait until all my animals are torn apart and their guardians with them? Goodbye, madame. I'll be back by dawn.

Wife
Goodbye, milord!

(The Chatelain leaves with the Intendant.)

Serving girl.
Madame, will you go to your room soon?

Wife
No. I don't want to sleep while my husband is hunting wolves. I will wait for him here—seated in this armchair.

Serving girl
But, he won't be back for a very long while.

Wife
Don't worry about me. Put out the candles on the chandeliers. Only, leave a lit torch by the chimney.

(The serving girl obeys. The stage darkens.)

Serving girl
You will be cold tonight in this big room without a fire. I'm going to find a blanket for you.

Wife
No, don't. Go to bed and try not to dream of wolves.

Serving girl
Madame, no one is master of their dreams.

Wife
Goodnight!

Serving girl
Goodnight, madame.

Wife (anxious)
The serving girl is right. It's cold here. Perhaps, it is fear that makes me cold. (howling wind) You hear so many stories of organized gangs who have the most innocent appearances. And we are alone in the castle, me and the serving girl—with a troupe of actors. Are they really actors? The watchman's house is at the end of the park and he wouldn't hear anything, if— Someone's walking in the corridor on padded feet. (the door opens softly) I lack the strength to get up.

(Harlequin slides toward her.)

Harlequin (low)
Madame!

Wife breathlessly)
What does this joke mean, sir? Aren't you staying with your friends? Haven't you taken off your Harlequin costume or your mask? And what are you coming to do here?

Harlequin (low, sadly)
Madame, my fate and my life depends on you.

Wife
Ah, you've come to force open the drawers. And you didn't expect to see me here? Well, go back quietly. I won't denounce you. I won't say the actor was a thief.

Harlequin (low)
Why do you insult me, madame? Haven't you done enough harm to me already?

Wife (disdainfully)
What harm, or what good, could I do to you? By what right do you, man that you are, take this reproachful tone with a woman like me?

Harlequin
The man I am is not an actor. Ah, the ruse was contrived by me, determined to reach you at all cost. Under this mask is the face of a man who has never been reconciled to his marriage imposed on you by your family.

Wife
You are talking nonsense and I will show you the door.

Harlequin
I've gone too far in this to obey you, and I must speak to you. I hired the services of this troupe of comedians who played the Harlequinade. That was the only way to get in here. But, don't worry. I've paid them liberally, so they will be discreet! And there was a moment I held you in my arms! Remember the sound of my words in your ear. Twice, I wanted to escape with you—under everyone's eyes, and to realize the dream of a few moments in a living reality. Finally, I brought you to your husband. But now, the attack of the wolves serves my purpose. A new opportunity presents itself. I am going to take you back in my arms and this time I won't give you back to anyone.

Wife
Is this the way I must pay for my imprudence in wanting to play the role of Colombine, kidnapped by Harlequin? You thought, in your presumption, that an instinct urged me toward some past love that was never forgotten?

Harlequin
I didn't think it. I am sure of it. I am still sure of it. And how could it be otherwise? To many injustices have separated us. I loved you with all the violence of my youth. I employed every trick to meet you, on the promenade, at the concert, at the theatre, so as to see you more often than allowed by convention. At night, I wandered under the windows of your house. One day your father begged me to avoid you. I was poor. To recover from ruin, your father gave you to a man without wit, a brutal, obstinate type, but whose fortune is immense.

Wife
It's not for you to judge my husband!

Harlequin
Just as well I no longer have to envy his riches. A year to the day after your marriage, I received an inheritance, fallen as if from heaven, that makes me richer than he. I can no longer bear that you are not mine! We will go, together, under other skies, in a new world, where we won't be an object of scandal! And we shall know happiness. Will you allow me to raise my mask? You will recognize the man who has loved you more than any in all the world.

Wife
I don't wish to see the face of the man who loved me more than anyone in the world, since that man has just advised me to do a dishonorable thing!

Harlequin
In what? You accept this monstrous fate that separates us?

Wife
Fate is the blind master of our destinies. To try to conquer it makes one feel powerless and causes despair.

Harlequin
As for me, I don't accept powerlessness and despair. Your husband isn't here, and his unhoped for departure leaves the field free! Come!

Wife
If you don't get out of here, I will call, I will scream.

Harlequin
No one will come. All the men of the castle left with your husband. The actors will take care not to budge. As for your serving girl, she's too devoted to you not to follow you. Come! The horses are ready!

Wife (threateningly)
Don't come near me!

Harlequin
You are my prey.

Wife (even more threateningly)
Don't come near me!

Harlequin
You've put up a pretty defense! And now, I beg you, succumb to love. Your look is not very severe. You are almost smiling. You know quite well you cannot defend yourself against my strength. Let me hold you. (with a great shout) Ah! What have you done? You've pierced my heart with my Harlequin dagger? I am choking, I am choking. I'm dying at your feet!

(Harlequin falls with a death rattle.)

Wife (screaming)
Help! Help! I've just killed a man! I've just killed a man!

Voices of the actors (in the distance)
What's going on? What's going on?

Wife
Help! Help!

Voices
Someone is calling for help!

(The actors appear.)

Actors
Oh, Harlequin! Harlequin is dead.

Master of the troupe
What did he come here to do, madame?

Wife
He's paid for his senseless audacity. I don't regret a thing!

Master
Poor Harlequin! Unhook him, and untie the cord which holds his black mask with its eagle's beak. Why, why, this face—this face isn't Harlequin's.

Wife (horrified)
Oh, it's the face of my husband! Fool that I am! He wanted to take off his mask, and I forbade him. Idiot! Criminal! I've killed him! I've killed my husband! I've killed my husband!

Master
He's still breathing. He's opening his eyes. Perhaps there is still hope.

Wife (distracted and kneeling)
You say there's still hope? I am kneeling by you, milord. I am raising your head in my hands. Are you in pain?

Chatelain (very calm)
Oh, not at all.

Wife (excitedly)
What are you saying?

Chatelain (very calm)
I've never felt so well.

Wife
Alas, he's delirious!

Chatelain
Me, delirious? Perhaps, but the delirium of joy, of happiness, and of respect for my wife. If you please, darling, get up. I'm getting up, too.

(They both rise.)

Wife
Am I in a dream?

Chatelain
Not the least in the world! You struck me with the Harlequin's knife. It's an actor's knife, a trick knife. See. (he demonstrates the retracting blade) So, here's what I saw. First, my suspicions and my jealousy, when Harlequin was dancing with my wife in his arms, were ridiculous. Second, that on the subject, however insidious it may be, one cannot reason with her. Thirdly, that seeing me dead, she was in despair. What more could a husband ask?

Wife
I don't understand. This Harlequin costume in which you're dressed?

(A man appears in a grey costume.)

Chatelain
I borrowed it from the real Harlequin for a reward. So, you were confused, which is what I wanted. Anyway, here he is, this excellent Harlequin. He's in his old coat. My boy, I'm going to give you your clothes back in a minute.

Wife
But, the wolves? The wolves that were attacking your farm?

(The Intendant appears.)

Chatelain
Pure invention! I charged the Intendant to announce this false story. Anyway, here's my Intendant.

Intendant
Milord, has everything come about agreeably?

Chatelain
I think so! I married the most agreeable woman there is! And never have I loved her as much as at the moment she murdered me to protect herself against me when she thought I wasn't me.

Intendant
Just like my hunt story, milord. Yours could be entitled: All's well that ends well.

Chatelain
Sir—

Intendant
Milord.

Chatelain
First, give two thousand pounds to the actors.

Actors
Oh, milord! That's too much.

Chatelain
Then, immediately gather my furniture movers.

Intendant
What furniture movers?

Chatelain
My wife is bored in the eagle's nest. We are going to leave for the capital. She's a wife faithful enough to her husband to resist all the temptations to be found in the big city.


CURTAIN