Mrs. Caudle's Curtain Lectures
AUTHOR'S PREFACE
INTRODUCTION
LECTURE I—MR. CAUDLE HAS LENT FIVE POUNDS TO A
FRIEND
LECTURE II—MR. CAUDLE HAS BEEN AT A TAVERN WITH A
FRIEND, AND IS “ENOUGH TO POISON A WOMAN” WITH TOBACCO-SMOKE
LECTURE III—MR. CAUDLE JOINS A CLUB—“THE
SKYLARKS.”
LECTURE IV—MR. CAUDLE HAS BEEN CALLED FROM HIS BED
TO BAIL MR. PRETTYMAN FROM THE WATCH-HOUSE
LECTURE V—MR. CAUDLE HAS REMAINED DOWNSTAIRS TILL
PAST ONE, WITH A FRIEND
LECTURE VI—MR. CAUDLE HAS LENT AN ACQUAINTANCE THE
FAMILY UMBRELLA
LECTURE VII—MR. CAUDLE HAS VENTURED A REMONSTRANCE
ON HIS DAY'S DINNER: COLD MUTTON, AND NO PUDDING.—MRS. CAUDLE DEFENDS
THE COLD SHOULDER
LECTURE VIII—CAUDLE HAS BEEN MADE A MASON—MRS.
CAUDLE INDIGNANT AND CURIOUS
LECTURE IX—MR. CAUDLE HAS BEEN TO GREENWICH FAIR
LECTURE X—ON MR. CAUDLE'S SHIRT-BUTTONS
LECTURE XI—MRS. CAUDLE SUGGESTS THAT HER DEAR
MOTHER SHOULD “COME AND LIVE WITH THEM.”
LECTURE XII—MR. CAUDLE HAVING COME HOME A LITTLE
LATE, DECLARES THAT HENCEFORTH “HE WILL HAVE A KEY.”
LECTURE XIII—MRS. CAUDLE HAS BEEN TO SEE HER DEAR
MOTHER.—CAUDLE, ON THE “JOYFUL OCCASION,” HAS GIVEN A PARTY, AND
ISSUED A CARD OF INVITATION
LECTURE XIV—MRS. CAUDLE THINKS IT “HIGH TIME” THAT
THE CHILDREN SHOULD HAVE SUMMER CLOTHING
LECTURE XV—MR. CAUDLE HAS AGAIN STAYED OUT LATE.
MRS. CAUDLE, AT FIRST INJURED AND VIOLENT, MELTS
LECTURE XVI—BABY IS TO BE CHRISTENED; MRS. CAUDLE
CANVASSES THE MERITS OF PROBABLE GODFATHERS
LECTURE XVII—CAUDLE IN THE COURSE OF THE DAY HAS
VENTURED TO QUESTION THE ECONOMY OF “WASHING AT HOME.”
LECTURE XVIII—CAUDLE, WHILST WALKING WITH HIS
WIFE, HAS BEEN BOWED TO BY A YOUNGER AND EVEN PRETTIER WOMAN THAN MRS.
CAUDLE
LECTURE XIX—MRS. CAUDLE THINKS “IT WOULD LOOK WELL
TO KEEP THEIR WEDDING-DAY.”
LECTURE XX—“BROTHER” CAUDLE HAS BEEN TO A MASONIC
CHARITABLE DINNER. MRS. CAUDLE HAS HIDDEN THE “BROTHER'S” CHEQUE-BOOK
LECTURE XXI—MR. CAUDLE HAS NOT ACTED “LIKE A
HUSBAND” AT THE WEDDING DINNER
LECTURE XXII—CAUDLE COMES HOME IN THE EVENING, AS
MRS. CAUDLE HAS “JUST STEPPED OUT, SHOPPING.” ON HER RETURN, AT TEN,
CAUDLE REMONSTRATES
LECTURE XXIII—MRS. CAUDLE “WISHES TO KNOW IF
THEY'RE GOING TO THE SEA-SIDE, OR NOT, THIS SUMMER—THAT'S ALL”
LECTURE XXIV—MRS. CAUDLE DWELLS ON CAUDLE'S “CRUEL
NEGLECT” OF HER ON BOARD THE “RED ROVER.” MRS. CAUDLE SO “ILL WITH THE
SEA,” THAT THEY PUT UP AT THE DOLPHIN, HERNE BAY.
LECTURE XXV—MRS. CAUDLE, WEARIED OF MARGATE, HAS
“A GREAT DESIRE TO SEE FRANCE.”
LECTURE XXVI—MRS. CAUDLE'S FIRST NIGHT IN FRANCE—
“SHAMEFUL INDIFFERENCE” OF CAUDLE AT THE BOULOGNE CUSTOM HOUSE
LECTURE XXVII—MRS. CAUDLE RETURNS TO HER NATIVE
LAND. “UNMANLY CRUELTY” OF CAUDLE, WHO HAS REFUSED “TO SMUGGLE A FEW
THINGS” FOR HER
LECTURE XXVIII—MRS. CAUDLE HAS RETURNED HOME. THE
HOUSE (OF COURSE) “NOT FIT TO BE SEEN.” MR. CAUDLE, IN SELF-DEFENCE,
TAKES A BOOK
LECTURE XXIX—MRS. CAUDLE THINKS “THE TIME HAS COME
TO HAVE A COTTAGE OUT OF TOWN”
LECTURE XXX—MRS. CAUDLE COMPLAINS OF THE “TURTLE
DOVERY.” DISCOVERS BLACK-BEETLES. THINKS IT “NOTHING BUT RIGHT” THAT
CAUDLE SHOULD SET UP A CHAISE
LECTURE XXXI—MRS. CAUDLE COMPLAINS VERY BITTERLY
THAT MR. CAUDLE HAS “BROKEN HER CONFIDENCE.”
LECTURE XXXII—MRS. CAUDLE DISCOURSES OF
MAIDS-OF-ALL-WORK AND MAIDS IN GENERAL. MR. CAUDLE'S “INFAMOUS
BEHAVIOUR” TEN YEARS AGO
LECTURE XXXIII—MRS. CAUDLE HAS DISCOVERED THAT
CAUDLE IS A RAILWAY DIRECTOR
LECTURE XXXIV—MRS. CAUDLE, SUSPECTING THAT MR.
CAUDLE HAS MADE HIS WILL, IS “ONLY ANXIOUS, AS A WIFE,” TO KNOW ITS
PROVISIONS
LECTURE XXXV—MRS. CAUDLE “HAS BEEN TOLD” THAT
CAUDLE HAS “TAKEN TO PLAY” AT BILLIARDS
LECTURE THE LAST—MRS. CAUDLE HAS TAKEN COLD; THE
TRAGEDY OF THIN SHOES
POSTSCRIPT
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