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Etext by Dagny
CHARACTERS: Peasant, father of Jaqueline Jaqueline, his daughter Pierrot, in love with Jaqueline Columbine, in love with Pierrot Harlequin, guardian of the Tree Octavio, a shepherd Scaramouche, an old man Mezzetin, his son Catos, a cousin of Harlequin's Old Lady Six men, four women
The scene represents a square before a large Tree. The Tree is hollow, and the hollow is large enough for a person to step inside. There is a bow hung over the opening. There are some tents around the Tree and several tombs. A sign says: The Tree of Lucretia. Harlequin sits at a booth which has a sign saying: Guardian of the Sacred Tree of Chastity.
Harlequin
There are lots of things to consider when you think about marrying
a country girl. If you ask her: "Would you like to take a walk?" she
replies: "To be sure, sir." "Would you like me to kiss—your hand?"
"To be sure, sir." "Would you like me to ——?" "To be sure, sir."
Agreeable always—to be sure! But what's this girl coming here want?
She must be a Parisienne because she intends to turn a man's head.
Never did a nymph of the Tuileries do the tricks better by moonlight.
Better let her make all the advances—that's the fashion these days.
(Columbine enters and curtsies to Harlequin.)
Harlequin (ignoring her)
La, la, la—
(Columbine curtsies again.)
Harlequin (whistling)
Whee——
Columbine (furiously to herself)
So! One only gets scorn for throwing oneself at a man's head. I
shall be proud. (turning away in a huff)
Harlequin
The girl must be stupid to be so easily discouraged. Well, I am
not simpleton enough to let her go. (to Columbine) Madame—can one
ask— what time is it? Don't you have a watch?
Columbine
My watch isn't working.
Harlequin
Women have charming little watches which sometimes mark the time
for love.
Columbine
This watch doesn't ring for you.
Harlequin
Had I the good fortune to—see in the shadow of the dial of the
sun of your beautiful eyes——
Columbine
I am only the dial of the frigid moon. (lifting her veil) Stop the
nonsense. We've known each other a long time.
Harlequin
Decidedly, I've seen that face before. Didn't we study together?
Columbine
Yes. We were in service at Paris.
Harlequin
Peace, peace, let's not talk of being in service. I have risen in
this village to be a man of consequence.
Columbine
So I heard. You are guardian of the Tree of Lucretia. And that's
why I wish to renew my acquaintance with you. So that you can help me.
Harlequin
If you wish to prove your chastity—
Columbine
Certainly not.
Harlequin
You relieve my mind.
Columbine
Enough of your stupid jokes. Will you help me?
Harlequin
Willingly, provided you say nothing of our old acquaintance.
Columbine
Do you know a certain Pierrot?
Harlequin
To my cost. This Pierrot has taken all my hopes from me. He is
going to marry my beautiful Jaqueline. Boo hoo.
Columbine
Then indeed, we have common interest. I wish to marry Pierrot. You
wish to marry Jaqueline. We must work in concert to prevent their
marriage.
Harlequin
I dream of it every minute.
Columbine
Pierrot loves me.
Harlequin
And I, I love Jaqueline.
Columbine
Listen to the way I've devised to prevent the marriage. Pierrot
wants Jacqueline to prove her chastity before they marry. To do this
he will ask her to sit in the Tree of Lucretia. Now if—But here is
Pierrot with Jaqueline's father.
Harlequin
I had better prepare for the Ceremony of the Tree.
(Exit Harlequin. Enter Pierrot and the Peasant.)
Pierrot
I tell you, I am as obstinate as an old doctor.
Peasant
But you're not reasonable. Hold on, here's Columbine who will
decide for us.
Pierrot
I don't like it, no, I don't like it at all. I once offered to
marry her and a girl always bears a grudge against those who start
something and don't finish it.
Columbine (aside to Pierrot)
No, no, I will take your side—don't worry.
Pierrot
I ask you to excuse my deserting you to marry Jaqueline. Please
don't feel bad. I will marry you some other time.
Columbine
Yes, yes, there will be an opportunity.
Peasant
Columbine—you be the judge. Isn't Pierrot wrong to demand that my
daughter prove her purity by coming to the Tree? She's a young girl
who's always been under lock and key, carefully guarded.
Columbine
But that proves nothing. Didn't you ever hear of a passkey?
Peasant
My late wife always watched her with the utmost care.
Columbine
Your wife may have had those distractions which make it hard for
the guardian to guard herself.
Peasant
My wife was very watchful. A shepherd never guarded his flock
better.
Columbine
Yes, but if the watch dog is having a good time rolling around on
its back, the wolf soon takes the sheep by the throat.
Peasant
Nonsense. My wife always watched her daughter intently.
Columbine
It wouldn't be the first nesting egg that hatched prematurely. (to
Pierrot) There, Pierrot, you see how I take your side?
Peasant (to Pierrot)
If you're so suspicious, why do you want to get married?
Pierrot
Far be it from me to be suspicious. But, when we've got this
wonderful Tree that will prove a woman's chastity—I simply don't wish
to get married without it. I want Jaqueline to sit in the Tree, and I
am going to find Harlequin to prepare the Ceremony.
(Exit Pierrot.)
Columbine
What an obstinate man! But, why do you object to Jaqueline proving
her chastity by taking the test? Perhaps, you think her credentials
are false?
Peasant
No.
Columbine
Or, do you think the question an insult?
Peasant
No. I understand how Pierrot feels. Very natural. One would like
to be sure. But, if she takes the test and passes it, as I'm sure she
will, all the other girls in the village will hate her.
Columbine
That's a thought.
Peasant
Why don't you take the test?
Columbine
Me? Why should I do that?
Peasant
You see. No one dares to do it.
Columbine
Oh, I dare. I'd just rather not.
Peasant
Why not?
Columbine
Why not?
Peasant
Why not?
Columbine
Because——
Peasant
That proves my point.
Columbine
Not at all. They say that for the least little thing the Tree will
close on a girl and suffocate her. Why risk it?
Peasant
But, it's never happened yet, has it?
Columbine
Not recently, that I know of. But there are moments when a girl is
afraid to be honest with herself. And, who can be sure that isn't the
case with the Tree? And for that reason, I advise you not to expose
your daughter to any such silly test before I've talked to her. Go get
her for me and I will tell you honestly whether she ought to risk this
awful test.
Peasant
I am sure of her, but, to please you, I will bring her to talk
with you.
(Exit Peasant.)
Columbine
Jaqueline is a big silly—both dumb and stupid. I can't see what
either Pierrot or Harlequin can see in her. But I will trap her easily
enough. All I have to do is convince her not to sit under the Tree.
Pierrot will marry me instead of her, and Harlequin will marry
Jaqueline.
(Re-enter Peasant with Jaqueline.)
Peasant
Here daughter—answer all the questions Miss Columbine asks of
you— and don't hide anything from her. It's a question concerning
your life.
(Exit Peasant.)
Columbine
Here, my young lady—which do you like most: the villainous
Pierrot or the ravishing Harlequin who is always singing at your
window?
Jaqueline
I told my father yesterday that it seemed to me that I like
Harlequin best. But Dad convinced me that it's Pierrot I want the most
and that I must marry him. Father knows best, I guess.
Columbine
Would you like me to teach you how to be wiser than your father in
this matter?
Jaqueline
Oh, you would make me very happy.
Columbine
Here's the secret. Imagine that Pierrot is on one side and the
adorable Harlequin is on the other. Now, your father says to you:
"Jaqueline, one of these two men will be your husband—so kiss him."
The one which you go to first is the one you love best—that's
certain.
Jaqueline
Oh, truly, then it's Harlequin I love, for I want to kiss him
first.
Columbine
Well—if you love Harlequin, it is simple to marry him. Here's how
you do it. Pierrot wants you to go to the Tree. Refuse to do it.
Pierrot won't want you and Harlequin will marry you.
Jaqueline
To be sure—but everyone will think I'm a bad girl. And, my father
says that if that happens to a girl, no one will ever want her. He
says it's a fate worse than death—he says—
Columbine
He says, he says—Indeed, I can see you know nothing of the world.
Jaqueline
Oh, lady, I'm a good girl; my father has told me so, and I want to
sit under the Tree.
Columbine (aside)
Indeed, I can see I'll have to change my approach. (aloud) Well,
then, go under the Tree. Don't wait. Make all your friends hate you.
Go, get suffocated.
Jaqueline
The Tree won't suffocate chaste girls.
Columbine
But, are you sure you're chaste?
Jaqueline
Truly, I am. Ask my father.
Columbine
Do you really know what it is to be chaste and pure?
Jaqueline
To be chaste and pure is—is—but, can't one be chaste and pure
without knowing what it is?
Columbine
No.
Jaqueline
No?
Columbine
No. I can see your mother had never told you. I am gong to explain
it to you. It's only a manner of speaking of protecting one's honor.
Jaqueline
Oh!
Columbine
But, there are several ways of losing it.
Jaqueline
Oh! There's more than one way to lose it?
Columbine
Indeed! Have you ever met a wolf?
Jaqueline
Oh, no. I would die of fear.
Columbine (aside)
That won't work. (aloud) Have you ever slept in the hay, or in a
bed of leaves?
Jaqueline
Oh, never. I never go in the woods for fear of mosquitoes.
Columbine (aside)
I'm not getting anywhere. (aloud) Did you ever let the cat get the
cheese?
Jaqueline
Hey, does that prevent a girl from being chaste?
Columbine
That'll do it.
Jaqueline
Oh, lady!
Columbine
And, how did this misfortune happen to you?
Jaqueline
One day, I had a little cheese with cream, and the cat came.
Columbine
Horrible! And then?
Jaqueline
I beat the cat, but it wouldn't go away. It became furious—
Columbine
Ah, what misfortune! Well—?
Jaqueline
I dropped the cheese and I ran away.
Columbine
Well, it's certainly time. Aren't you ashamed?
Jaqueline (protesting)
But any girl would have done the same thing in my place. It was a
horrible cat. You would've, too.
Columbine
And you are rash enough to expose yourself by coming under the
Tree?
Jaqueline
But, Columbine, it was a big cat, and it really wasn't much
cheese.
Columbine
Go ahead—the Tree will suffocate you.
Jaqueline
Oh, I won't do it. How miserable I am—
Columbine
You've got to preserve your life—
Jaqueline
But, my reputation—
Columbine
Do you want to die?
Jaqueline
But, Pierrot—
Columbine
He's coming now.
(Enter Pierrot.)
Pierrot (to Jaqueline)
Come on, come on, the bird trap is all ready. I am going to put
you right in the middle of that Tree—
Jaqueline
Hey, Pierrot!
Pierrot
What! You tremble already—just seeing the tombstones of sluts
that were suffocated by the Tree for their sins?
(Enter Harlequin.)
Harlequin (singing)
Awesome Tree—Roman antiquity.
Planted by chaste Lucretia—
Your sap lives where chastity reigns.
But alas, you are nothing but a rotten stump.
For you died with Lucretia—for lack of company.
The woman of today is but a broken reed—
Who preserves only the leaves of her honor.
O ancient, fatal Tree, your pitiless trunk
Wipes out all unfaithful women.
Ah, if you were planted in the courts of kings
Such places would be barren, and seldom frequented.
(Enter Scaramouche as a sick magistrate followed by Mezzetin, his
son.)
Scaramouche (sadly)
Sir—sir—
Harlequin
Has your wife been suffocated by the Tree, sir?
Mezzetin (laughing)
Ah, ah, no, no. My father was never married.
Harlequin
The father cries, the son laughs.
Scaramouche
It's that—it's that—that I am—
Harlequin (mimicking him)
Well—what are you?
Mezzetin (laughing)
Ah, ah, everything my father is telling you is true.
Scaramouche
I am the teacher in our village.
Harlequin
Ah, ah,—schoolmaster.
Mezzetin
Ah, ah, it's my father who, ah, it's my father who—ah, he's going
to tell you, he's going to tell you—(laughing)
Scaramouche
I am the one who composed—
Mezzetin
Yes, yes, my father did it—ah, ah, all of it. I did some,
too—ask him about it, ask him.
Scaramouche
I composed the slanderous songs about the cat who got the cheese.
And the girls who gave it to him. And my son sings them.
Mezzetin
Ah, ah, ah, yes, and we are here to compose songs about the girls
who come under the Chastity Tree—ah, ah, because they say today some
girl must try it.
Harlequin
And what do you do?
Scaramouche (weeping)
I'm the one who sings the gay songs.
Mezzetin (laughing)
And I sing the ones that make you cry.
Harlequin (to Scaramouche)
I invite you to laugh at my funeral. (to Mezzetin) and I invite
you to cry at my wedding. Now here it will be necessary to sing sad
songs for the girls who are suffocated and to sing merry songs about
the girls who refuse to go in. Let's see if you know what to do.
Scaramouche (humming sadly)
Hem, hem, hem.
Harlequin
Joyous prelude.
Scaramouche (singing)
To the marriage of Jaques
Who came to celebrate—
Harlequin (mocking him)
Who comes to celebrate—hey, very well put.
Mezzetin (humming)
Hem, hem, hem.
Harlequin
That's what they call entering into the character—To declaim in
tune! The sound agrees with the words. This man will make a new opera.
Scaramouche (singing)
To a man who was stabbed,
Then hanged after he was dead—
Harlequin
Haven't you got something else?
Mezzetin
Ah, ah, ah.
Harlequin
Sorry beginning.
Mezzetin
To be sure, sir, I have one that's very new. The heroic combat of
a rooster and a hen. (singing)
We witness today a cruel fight.
Between a cock and a hen.
The angry hen
Bit the cock, the cock.
But a happy silence ensued.
The cock gave shout
Cock a doodle doo
What a how do you do.
The hen is happy
When the cock is singing.
(Exit Mezzetin and Scaramouche. Enter Octavio.)
Octavio
Sir, I am very much afflicted. I don't know what's become of my
mistress. I saw her come in this side here. I still don't believe she
was foolish enough to go in the Tree—for she was very prudent.
Harlequin
I'll tell you what. I'll read the epitaphs of those maidens who
were suffocated by the Tree. See if you can recognize her.
Lucretia invites you to pity her fate
She killed herself in the arms of Tarquin
What a strange thing to do.
Octavio
I am too young to have loved Lucretia.
Harlequin
Passerby, regard my misfortune
In a moment a young thief ran in my door.
I tried to show him out.
I only opened to tell him
He couldn't come in.
And so he got in.
Who would have believed that!
Such a small oversight.
Alas, that for opening my door
I must suffer death. Was she your love?
Octavio
No, no. She never opened her door to me. I always came in the
window.
Harlequin
Here lies the heroine of this village
Weak in love but very bold.
Through vanity she had found death in the Tree.
But of all the prudes of her time
She had the best of it.
She had joined the glorious reputation of being Chaste
To the pleasures of being wanton. Was she your love?
Octavio
No.
Harlequin
Here lies Aimee
Who died dancing the bournee.
She danced so wildly
She got the fidgets
And died of lack of respiration
Without even going in the Tree. Is this your mistress?
Octavio
No, my mistress doesn't know how to dance.
Harlequin
Here lies a maiden who thought she was chaste.
She restricted her love to simple bantering,
Or, so she said. To a hundred innocent games.
And to prove her chastity—she went under the Tree.
And now she's dead you see. Was this your mistress?
Octavio
No, sir. My mistress never made jokes. She was always in earnest.
Harlequin
There no epitaph on that tomb there.
Old Woman (seated on the tomb)
Alas, I am the epitaph.
Harlequin
Well, I believe you weren't made of marble in your youth.
Old Woman
I intend to spend the rest of my life on this tomb, so I can
inform all the passersby of the virtue of my daughters.
Harlequin
Inform me first.
Old Woman (descending from the tomb)
I am very unfortunate! I had only thirty daughters, and five are
buried here in one tomb.
Harlequin
Seems to me, you are very fortunate. Apparently the five dead ones
were not very chaste. They would have spoiled the other twenty-five.
And, in fact, they proved the others were innocent. There are many
large cities that cannot furnish that number.
Old Woman
Ah, the five deceased died by accident, and it was from natural
feeling.
Harlequin
Natural feelings are the most tender. Tell me your story.
Old Woman
Here, sir. As I was walking here.
Harlequin
With your thirty daughters?
Old Woman
Yes, sir, with my little family. The youngest went to play in the
Tree. As soon as she entered, she fell into a faint. Then one of her
sisters went after her from natural feeling. She, too, fell into a
faint, and then a third—
Harlequin
From natural feeling?
Old Woman
With two others and the fourth followed.
Harlequin
From natural feeling?
Old Woman
I ran quickly to prevent the fifth from entering. Alas, I arrived
a little too late. What a shame it would be if I hadn't had more
children. For they are—
Harlequin
So filled with natural feeling. (to Octavio) Well, friend, your
mistress was good natured and had natural feeling?
Octavio
No, sir. My mistress had neither sister, nor brother, nor mother,
nor relative, and she was going to marry me just so she could have
some relations.
Harlequin
Since your mistress isn't here, I must continue the Ceremony.
Our Tree is going to open—
This old stump will serve as a touchstone
To distinguish true gold from fool's gold.
If here there is someone pure
Without mixing or alloy
That comes to find in this hollow
A certificate of purity
She will be rewarded.
But if someone has the audacity
To approach here full of vanity
And void of fidelity
I pity the poor boasting virgin
Who thinks to triumph over this Tree.
Already I shiver
For the Sacred Tree
Will suffocate 'er.
(Harlequin opens the Tree. Mezzetin comes out dressed as a peasant
girl and faints.)
Octavio
There she is! That's my mistress. Why did she hide herself in the
Tree without telling me?
Harlequin
You will learn this isn't the first stupidity she's been guilty of
without informing you.
(The Farmer and Pierrot carry Mezzetin upstage and put Mezzetin
down.)
Octavio
Damn. For the little she's given me, she shouldn't be dead.
Harlequin
Dead is dead.
Octavio
She was always subject to the vapors.
Harlequin
Cure her then, cure her if you can.
Octavio
If I had pee from the Queen of Hungary, I could cure her of any
type of vapors.
Mezzetin (breathing)
Ah, ouf! It's because you cured me that the Tree suffocated me.
(falling back) I am dead.
Octavio
She isn't dead.
Harlequin
Perhaps, she only fainted.
Octavio
Maybe the Tree only punishes in proportion to the evil done. I
swear to you, I only kissed her hard.
Harlequin
That shouldn't lead to a faint these days.
Mezzetin
It's because I'm delicate. (falling back) Ah! Ouf!
Octavio
She's coming around, I tell you.
Harlequin
That's easy to see. (to Mezzetin) Did you give in?
Mezzetin
I don't know what you're talking about. Ah, ouf!
Octavio
Come, courage. She's coming back, sir—because when I took her
hand, she wasn't paying any heed.
Harlequin
Most don't pay any heed. She could have consented without
thinking. Consent is quicker than thought.
Mezzetin (getting up and singing)
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
Ah, what a great escape.
I wanted to prove my virtue.
I counted on it.
But it failed.
Ah, ah, ah, what a great escape.
Few girls like me
Prove true blue
If they are put in the Tree.
How lucky I was to escape.
Harlequin
For this once, the Tree pardons you.
(Octavio and Mezzetin exit arm in arm. Enter Catos with a baby in
her arms.)
Catos (singing to the baby)
La, la, la, la.
Harlequin
Hey, it's my cousin Catos! What the devil brings you here? And
where'd you get the baby? Ah, I understand. You bring this little girl
here to test her chastity! She will always be able to say the Tree
certified her. Very clever idea, cousin. No risk at all.
Catos
No, you're wrong. I came here to test myself in the Tree.
Harlequin
But, Catos, consider—
Catos
You're right—you're right—
Harlequin
You—you're very wrong.
Catos
To hell with the other girls in this village. I'm going to trap
the Tree.
Harlequin
It will be the Tree that traps you.
Catos (aside)
The Tree won't dare to shut on a little creature like this. I'm
sure she's pure enough for the two of us. I wouldn't be so stupid as
to go in without her, cousin.
Harlequin
You speak a part. Is some remorse bothering you? Are you reminded
of something?
Catos
It's nothing—pish.
Harlequin
Oh, remember pish and push?
Catos
Pish—pish, that's all.
Harlequin
It takes no more than a pish to wrong an honest girl.
Catos
Not so much cackling. Put me in the Tree, I want to go through
with the Ceremony.
Harlequin
You're so ready. But, perhaps it will be a funeral ceremony.
Catos
Hey, hurry up. I am dancing already to make the scandalmongers
shut up.
Harlequin
Do you remember what I said to you that day I found you crying by
the fountain?
Catos
That was the day I lost a little—acorn.
Harlequin
You don't cry over losing a little acorn. You lost something else
with it.
Catos
Oh, not much with it.
Harlequin
But, the other day, you were lost in the woods, and I put you on
the right road.
Catos
I prefer that none of that be true. You are going to see that I
will enter the Tree with my head held high.
Harlequin
The business is evident. But, if you absolutely wish to risk the
boat —give the little girl to someone else to take care of.
Catos (hotly)
I'll take care of her. She's safe with me.
Harlequin
Better if you left her.
Catos
What, me leave this little runt! I love her too much.
Harlequin
Catos, Catos, I see your trickery. You believe you can hide behind
the diapers of this pure little girl and get away with it. But you
deceive yourself. In the case of virtue the strong protects the
weak—and I believe you've been wilder than this baby has been chaste.
Catos
What! The Tree will suffocate this sweet little baby?
Harlequin
Assuredly.
Catos
She's an only child—and if something happened—I am going to take
her to her mother.
(Exit Catos. All the players return.)
Harlequin
Come rare phoenix of village girls
Who wish to appear very chaste.
You will make your pretty friends jealous
By appearing alone as pure and chaste before all eyes.
To do that is to accuse the others of weakness.
Tremble in approaching the Tree of Lucretia.
If there are some who fear to prove it today
But still wish to prove their chastity in proper form
Come back in a decade or two.
I'll wait for you under the Tree.
Jaqueline (to her father)
Ah, Daddy, you've come just in time. Take me away and hide me.
Harlequin
Oh, no, if you please. You must submit to the law.
Peasant
What's this daughter? You shame me! What's going on?
Columbine
Alas, the poor child.
Pierrot
She has—
Peasant
She has—
Harlequin
She has—now she will tell you herself. She let the cat get the
cheese.
Jaqueline
I couldn't help it. It was a monstrous cat.
Pierrot
Sir, if the cat has skimmed the cream off the milk, find someone
else who will eat the porridge, if you can. And you, Miss, wait for me
under the Tree. I am going to hook up with Columbine.
Columbine (aside)
That's all I ask.
Harlequin
I pity her—and as no person will marry her after such a
confession, I believe myself obligated to take her myself.
Peasant
I am very happy to be rid of the little bitch.
Octavio (singing to Jaqueline)
They say it is shameful
For village boys
To suffer a girl to be chaste.
Your virtue scares us
But your scheme makes us bold.
And you render us honor
By losing your reputation to us.
Columbine (singing)
When a young pussy
With an air of modesty
Needs only a little help
On the velvet path
Like a little kiss
The purest of prudes
Can bring the matter
To a successful end.
The matter is delicate
But no one fears—
The matter is delicate—
My word it's such a little thing
One ought to leave it to the cat.
Harlequin
Certainly no one can refuse the cat.
Chorus
The cat, the cat, the cat, the cat—
What's the use of getting angry
When the little pussy
Has taken all the cream?
Such a delicate morsel.
When the little minx
Come purring and flattering
Better cry out—
The cat, the cat, the cat.
Harlequin
It is time to prove her innocence.
Jaqueline
If I'm married to Harlequin, I don't care what anybody says about
me.
Harlequin
But, I care, as now your honor is mine. Gentlemen, please
understand that the cheese the cat ate was real cheese. Cream cheese.
Brie as a matter of fact.
Jaqueline
What do you mean?
Harlequin
And to prove her chastity, I am going to put her in the Tree right
now.
(Harlequin puts Jaqueline in the Tree.)
Pierrot
I smell a trick.
Jaqueline (singing)
I am the most chaste in my village.
My mother told me
And I believe her
That any girl who argued about it
Could come under the Tree with me.
(Now several girls want to go to the Tree, but the men prevent
them.)
Harlequin (holding on to Catos as he sings)
There's nothing so tempting
As arguing about it.
But a prudent girl
Ought not to endanger her life.
Content yourself with dancing
And singing under the Tree.
Catos (singing)
I swear that I am pure.
My oath ought to be believed.
No one can prove a thing.
But if you want me to formally prove it—
Wait for me under the Tree.
Octavio (singing)
Margret, what madness
To put yourself in a Tree.
The law says you will lose your life
But I want you for my wife.
Still you ought to die—I really should let you
Because so many times you've told me
—Wait for me under the Tree.
Chorus of girls
A girl who's a little light
May die without resurrection.
But me, I've learned about love
And without dying
I can have a rendez-vous
Under the Tree.
Harlequin (to the audience)
If the play pleased you, we beg your applause. If not, we'll close
up shop. And while we're waiting, give us your money. Then wait for us
under the trees.
CURTAIN