NOTES FROM THE UNDERGROUND

Adapted from Feodor Doestoevski By FRANK J. MORLOCK

  • ACT I.
  • ACT II.
  • This Etext is for private use only. No republication for profit in 
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    http://www.cadytech.com/dumas/personnage.asp?key=130
    

    ACT I.

    Scene 1.

    The reception parlour of a Russian house of prostitution in the middle of the last century. The time is late at night. A cold wind blows outside. There is a noise of laughter offstage. Suddenly there is a violent knocking at the door. The lone girl in the room rouses herself and goes to the door.

    Girl
    Shh! Don't make so much noise.

    (The knocking grows more insistent.)

    Girl
    Are you trying to ruin us? The police will come here.

    (The girl opens the door and the Man rushes into the doorway.)

    Man
    Where are they, where are they?

    Girl
    What do you want? Are you sure you've go the right place?

    Man
    This is Madame Sophie's, isn't it?

    Girl
    Yes, but it's late. All the other girls have gone to bed.

    Man
    Look here, where are they?

    Girl
    Well, come in, will you? It's cold with the door open.

    Man (coming in)
    I beg you not to play games with me, I must find them.

    Girl
    Look, this is ridiculous—who is it you want?

    Man
    Zerkov and the others.

    Girl
    A tall man with a mustache?

    Man (eagerly)
    Yes, yes.

    Girl (matter of factly)
    They all left long ago.

    Man
    They can't have left. Don't lie.

    Girl
    You wanted to know, and I'm not lying.

    Man
    They have no right. They can't do this to me—they have no right!!

    Girl
    Why is it so important that you see them tonight—won't it wait until morning?

    Man
    No, it will not wait until morning. Mind your own business.

    Girl
    What did they do to you then? Are you sure you're feeling well? Why don't you sit down?

    Man
    Yes, yes, I will sit down—thank you. (pause) When did you say they left?

    Girl
    At least two hours ago—it's after three now.

    Man (urgently)
    Did they say where they were going?

    Girl
    No.

    Man (insultingly)
    Have they paid you not to tell me? Well, I will pay you to tell me. Here, look, I have money. I had to borrow it—but, here it is. You mustn't think me as shabby as I appear. Once I—well, I was as grand as Zerkov— Now, then, where did they go?

    Girl
    I've already told you, I haven't the slightest idea. I would tell you for nothing if I knew—it's nothing to me.

    Man
    But they've warned you I was following them—eh? What did they say about me? Did they tell you I was after them? Did they tell you how they disgraced me, and that I wouldn't stand for it? Did they tell you, did they?

    Girl (rather frightened)
    They didn't say a word about you, so far as I know. You might ask the other girls—the ones they went upstairs with. But you'll have to wait until morning.

    Man
    Wake them up— I'll ask them now.

    Girl
    That's out of the question—the girls have earned their sleep. Some of them have gentlemen with them.

    Man
    I'll pay, I tell you.

    Girl
    Look, mister, you're really carrying on in a disgraceful way. This is a very respectable house—we never have any trouble with the police— and Madame won't put up with nonsense like this. Men who come here— patrons—are expected to behave like gentlemen. If you don't behave yourself, you'll have to leave.

    Man
    Ha, ha, ha!

    Girl
    What's so funny?

    Man
    To be lectured on manners by a little whore. Well, it's a fitting conclusion for this night.

    Girl
    You needn't have said that. It seems to me I've been very patient with you, and treated you as a gentleman. Now, if—

    Man
    Forgive me, forgive me. You have been more than patient, you have been kind. You are a saint, a Madonna. You rebuke me very justly. (wildly) Let me fall at your feet, sinner that I am. (he kneels) Bless me!!

    Girl (furious)
    Get out!! Get out!! Do you make fun of me, too? Get out!!

    Man
    I am not making fun of you. Madonna, bless me, for I have sinned; I am abject; I am worthless; I am not worth your little finger.

    Girl
    Do you enjoy mocking me? What have I done to you? Why do you come here to make me miserable?

    Man
    No, no. Don't misunderstand, I am sincere.

    Girl (shaken)
    Please, please, get up. Stop talking like that. You are delirious, you poor Man. Here, sit on the couch.

    Man (letting her lead him)
    Thank you, thank you.

    Girl
    Would you like some brandy?

    Man
    I think so—yes. It might help.

    Girl
    It's two and a half roubles.

    Man (fingering a large roll of bills)
    Here, here.

    Girl
    This is almost fifty—it's much too much.

    Man
    I don't want it—keep it.

    Girl
    Really, you can't just throw your money away. (she forces it back on him) You must be careful what you do, brother, or you won't have any money to your name.

    Man
    What does it matter?

    Girl (giving him some brandy)
    Are you feeling better?

    Man
    Yes, thank you.

    Girl (quickly, but not really concerned)
    Would you like to go upstairs with me?

    Man
    How much does that cost?

    Girl
    Fifty roubles. I'll give you a discount at this hour. You can have me and the brandy for fifty roubles, how's that?

    Man (preoccupied with other thoughts)
    Later, perhaps.

    Girl
    But, it's late already. What else is there to do? I won't go below forty-five, no matter what. I never sell myself short.

    Man
    Sit here, and talk to me.

    Girl (cheerfully)
    I'm much better at what I do upstairs than I am at talking, you know.

    Man (rather desperate)
    Please, I want to talk just now. It's extremely important to me to have contact with another human being.

    Girl (yawning)
    As you wish. But, I'm very tired, and I don't know what I should charge you for talking. You're keeping me awake. Maybe I should charge you extra for that, I can make love in my sleep.

    Man
    Why do you talk like that?

    Girl
    Like what? I was just making a joke.

    Man
    So cynically.

    Girl
    Was it cynical? Well, I suppose you're right.

    Man
    You're a nice girl.

    Girl (faintly amused)
    Am I? Then what am I doing in a place like this?

    Man
    That's what I wanted to know.

    Girl
    Well, you see, it all started when I was a little girl—my stepfather was always making eyes at me, and then one night— (laughing) How do you like that? Or, would you prefer the one that goes— I was a sweet little country girl and I fell in love with a soldier. And, you see, there was, well, a child, and my father, pious man, threw me out. Do you like that better?

    Man
    Can't you see that I'm being sincere?

    Girl
    Can't you see that I'm not?

    Man
    On the contrary, you strike me as being totally sincere.

    Girl
    I wish you hadn't said that.

    Man
    Why?

    Girl
    Because you understand me. I'm afraid I may tell you the truth—and that might be very—unpleasant. Why must you be so serious?

    Man
    I want to help you.

    Girl
    What makes you think I need help? I do quite well here.

    Man
    We all need help.

    (A silence descends upon them. The Man goes to the window.)

    Man
    The weather is beastly. (the girl does not respond to this remark) What's your name?

    Girl
    Lisa.

    Man
    Were you born in these parts?

    Lisa
    No.

    Man
    Where do you come from?

    Lisa
    Riga.

    Man
    Have you been here long?

    Lisa
    Been where long?

    Man
    In this house.

    Lisa
    A couple of months.

    Man
    Are your parents alive?

    Lisa
    Yes, I mean, no.

    Man
    Where are they?

    Lisa
    In Riga.

    Man
    And what do they do?

    Lisa
    Nothing.

    Man
    What do you mean, nothing?

    Lisa
    They're tradespeople.

    Man
    Have you always lived with them?

    Lisa
    Yes.

    Man
    Why did you leave them?

    Lisa
    Is that any business of yours? No reason.

    (They are both silent, then the Man tries a new trick.)

    Man
    I saw them carrying a coffin yesterday, and they nearly dropped it.

    Lisa
    A coffin?

    Man
    Yes, in the Haymarket. They were carrying it out of a cellar, you know, from the basement of a—a place like this.

    Lisa
    I don't understand.

    Man
    A whore house. It was filthy all around. Eggshells, litter, a stench. It was loathsome. (the girl makes no response) A nasty day to be buried.

    Lisa
    Why?

    Man
    The snow, the mud, the dampness.

    Lisa
    It makes no difference.

    Man
    No, it was horrid. There must have been water in the grave.

    Lisa
    Why should there be?

    Man
    Because the place was waterlogged. It's a regular marsh. I've seen it myself—many times.

    Lisa
    I still don't see what it matters. You're dead, you're dead. You don't care.

    Man (increasingly nettled)
    Do you meant to say you don't care how you die?

    Lisa
    Not much. But, why should I die?

    Man
    Well, someday, you must.

    Lisa
    I suppose so. But, why think about it?

    Man
    You will die just like that girl. She was young, like you. She died of consumption.

    Lisa
    So. You have to die of something. Anyway, we don't have Camilles in Russia. Here, she would have died in a hospital.

    Man
    You seem to think you know all about it. In the first place she was in debt to her Madame. She had to work right up to the end.

    Lisa
    You seem to know her so well. Were you a regular of hers?

    Man
    No!! I heard some soldiers talking. They were going to a tavern to drink her health.

    Lisa
    Well, she had that, anyway.

    Man (irritated)
    And, is it better if she died in a hospital?

    Lisa
    I don't see what difference it makes, really. One place is as good as another to me.

    Man
    We'll see, we'll see. Your time is not far off—

    Lisa
    What do you mean by that? Why should I die?

    Man
    If not now, then a little later.

    Lisa
    Why are you so morbid? Why a little later? Why not after a long time?

    Man
    Why? Now, you are young and fetch a high price— (the girl laughs) But, in a year or so, you will be different—and then— Well, too bad—

    Lisa
    In a year? (touching her hair) I don't think it shall be as soon as that— (laughing) This life is not as hard as some people think it is—

    Man
    Anyway, in a year or so, you will be worth less. And then you will go into a cheaper house. Then to another—and keep going—until you wind up in a Haymarket basement. That is, if you're lucky, and don't catch some disease.

    Lisa
    Oh well, then I shall die.

    Man
    But one is—sorry.

    Lisa
    For whom?

    Man
    For life.

    Lisa
    I think you read too many sob stories.

    (They are both silent, then the Man tries again.)

    Man
    Have you been engaged or married?

    Lisa (flaring)
    What's that to you?

    Man
    I'm not prying. It's nothing to me. Why are you so cross? Of course, you may have had your troubles. What is it to me? I simply felt sorry—

    Lisa (mocking)
    For life?

    Man
    For you.

    Lisa
    You needn't trouble yourself.

    Man
    I don't see any reason for you to be so rude. I've been very polite.

    Lisa
    Condescending.

    Man
    Do you really think you're on the right road?

    Lisa
    I never think anything.

    Man
    That's your trouble: you refuse to think. Realize, while there's still time. There still is time. You are young—good-looking. You might still love, be married, be happy.

    Lisa
    Being married won't necessarily make you happy.

    Man
    So, that's it. But it's much better than the life here.

    Lisa
    No. It's not.

    Man
    With love, you can live, even without happiness. Even in sorrow, life is sweet. But here! What is there but filth?

    Lisa (archly)
    Then, what are you doing here?

    Man
    Never mind my being here. I was drunk when I came here.

    Lisa
    You still are.

    Man
    Maybe I'm worse than you are—but with a man it's different. Whatever I do, I'm nobody's slave. I shake it off in the morning and start all over again.

    Lisa
    And what makes you think I can't shake it off?

    Man
    Because, a whore is a man's slave.

    Lisa
    But, many men are slaves to their whores.

    Man (savagely)
    A whore is every man's slave.

    Lisa
    Only if he has the price.

    Man
    And, do you have the price to get out of here? Admit it—you're in debt to your Madame.

    (Lisa says nothing.)

    Man
    There, you see! And, don't think you'll ever get free of her. She'll see to that. But, don't misunderstand me, I'm not trying to annoy you. (maudlin) Perhaps I, too, am just as unfortunate—how do you know? With me, it's like drink. (grabs her) Tell me, is this loving? Is this how one human being should meet another? (kissing her) It's hideous, isn't it?

    Lisa (slowly)
    Yes—it's hideous.

    Man
    So, so—you, too, are capable of certain refinements. I knew there was a point of likeness between us. (holding her face in his hands) Yes, you have an innocent look. And so young. It's difficult for you to understand what it means to a man like me to have someone who—

    Lisa
    Who——?

    Man
    It's hard to explain. Someone to talk to, to explain things to. To make her understand life. Yes, it's interesting (pause—then with a note of authority) Why did you come here?

    Lisa
    Oh, I don't know.

    Man
    But, wasn't it much nicer at home?

    Lisa
    It's really much nicer here in every way.

    Man
    So, that's it. You are not sentimental. If it were better at home, you surely would have stayed there. It's not likely a girl like you would come here of your own inclination.

    Lisa (ironic)
    A girl like me?

    Man
    So, you think I'm flattering you? Well, perhaps I am. Anyhow, I'm convinced someone has wronged you. (Lisa is silent) You see, if you had a proper childhood, you shouldn't be so unfeeling. However bad it may be, a home is a home. (Lisa is silent) I grew up without a home. (her continued silence angers him; his maudlin appeal for sympathy has been rejected) If I had a daughter, I believe I should love her more than my sons,—really.

    Lisa
    Why so?

    Man
    I almost thought you weren't listening. Well, to be honest, I don't know. But, I used to know a very hard man once who would practically go down on his knees to his daughter. He was mad about her. He would go about in rags, but he would spend his last penny on her.

    Lisa
    It would be nice to have such a father.

    Man
    Fathers always love their daughters more than mothers do. As for me, I don't think I'd ever let my daughter marry.

    Lisa (laughing)
    What next?

    Man
    I should be too jealous—really, I would. To think that she would kiss anyone else. To think she should love a stranger more than her father.

    Lisa
    You're funny.

    Man
    I amuse you, do I?

    Lisa
    You don't know anything of life.

    Man
    For example?

    Lisa
    Some fathers are happy enough to sell their daughters, rather than marry them.

    Man
    That's terrible. Such things happen only in families without either love or respect for God. Such families exist—but, I am not thinking of them.

    Lisa
    Have you come here for nothing else but to torture me?

    Man
    I am sorry—perhaps I am torturing myself.

    Lisa
    Now, let me ask some questions—why are you so insistent on finding your friends?

    Man
    Insistent—I?

    Lisa
    Yes, why were you so insistent?

    Man
    I refuse to be cross-examined by you!! If I was excited, it's only natural, after all, I'd been insulted— I have a natural right to show my indignation. It's none of your business.

    Lisa
    You didn't come here to engage my services. Surely, you didn't come here to hold my hand. Why did you come here?

    Man
    I came here— None of your business why I came here.

    Lisa
    Then, what makes it your business why I came here?

    Man
    I'm not trying to pry into your life. I saw you, and I took pity on you—that's all.

    Lisa
    How dare you come here and pity me?

    Man
    Well, what do you want? Do you want me to call you whore and throw stones at you? Is that what you want?

    Lisa
    Stop it. I just want you to mind your own business and respect my privacy.

    Man
    What has the world come to? Little whores are now insisting on their right to privacy? What will be next? Pretty soon they'll want to vote.

    Lisa
    Please don't call me whore. Please.

    Man
    Lisa, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. What can I say to you? I came here for reasons of my own. Perhaps, I should mind my own business. But, I like you, and you looked as though you wanted help.

    Lisa
    I—

    Man
    Yes, you look as though your eyes are crying out for help. With your tongue, you may frighten help away—but your eyes seem to—scream for it. And, even if I am mistaken, you certainly need help anyway.

    Lisa
    Not from you. I've seen your kind before. You can't help anybody.

    Man
    Oh, Lisa, can't you see where this kind of life is leading you? You're still young and pretty. You can laugh now and enjoy it—but how will you feel in a few years?

    Lisa
    Let me ask you one thing— If I weren't young and pretty, would you care what happened to me at all?

    Man
    I honestly don't know, Lisa. But, my heart goes out to you. Perhaps, if you were old and ugly, it wouldn't. I should like to think it would—

    Lisa
    That's honest, anyway. I'm sorry if I'm being rude.

    Man
    You're shy and sensitive, aren't you? And you try to hide it under irony. Only it doesn't work too well, does it?

    Lisa
    Not with you.

    Man
    Perhaps there are compensations. Perhaps the management allows you to have a lover to comfort you. Do they let you have a lover, Lisa? Do they? (Lisa turns away) But, what good is he, if he takes you back after other men have touched you? If he lets you go from his arms to other men—?

    Lisa
    I think the Devil must have sent you here.

    Man
    Do you think he will marry you? Why not ask him? Or, are you afraid to hear his answer? (Lisa is increasingly uncomfortable) Worthless, as he is, he would only laugh at you. And beat you, too, for asking. Does he beat you, Lisa?

    Lisa
    What must I do to make you stop? Have I done you any harm. Why won't you leave me alone?

    Man
    Lisa, please, I'm only trying to help you, to make you think about your situation.

    Lisa
    Don't you see, that the only reason my situation is bearable is that I manage not to think about it?

    Man
    Lisa. Lisa, that's just the point. As long as you deceive yourself, life will be bearable. That is precisely what I must prevent by making you think.

    Lisa
    Why don't you want me to be able to bear my life?

    Man
    Because it's bad for you; it's an evil life.

    Lisa
    It's worse to think about it. Nothing is bad, if you don't think about it.

    Man
    But, you can stop. Unless you realize where it is leading you, you'll continue down this road.

    Lisa
    But, if there's no way back—?

    Man
    Lisa, there's always a way back. Take me, for example: I came here tonight in a drunken state because my friends insulted me. I wanted revenge. If only I could hold my liquor. I came here because they came here. I was proud—I wanted to create a scene. Then, I saw you, and a nobler thought came to my mind—

    Lisa
    You talk like—like a book.

    Man (furious, but controlling himself)
    Perhaps my way of expressing myself is slightly academic. I am a writer and a student. Maybe I don't know how to use the language of the people of everyday life. But I am sincere, Lisa. Certainly, if you had the least understanding of goodness and decency, you would appreciate what I have been trying to do. I have been trying to improve your mind with my culture. Oh, Lisa, if you would not harden your heart, what friends we could be. All sorts of things might happen.

    Lisa
    Like what?

    Man
    I can see I've been wasting my time on you. You're beneath my notice— beneath the notice of any decent man. You're beyond redemption. Go and wallow in the filth you love.

    (He picks up his coat and jacket and makes a big fuss of getting ready to go, just like a parent threatening to leave a child to terrify it. His tactics have finally proven successful: Lisa is sobbing violently.)

    Lisa
    Don't go, please don't go. I have so much to say to you. I want to leave here. I need your help. I want it. I'm sorry for the dreadful things I said.

    Man
    Lisa, I'm sorry, don't cry. I didn't mean it, really, Lisa, I didn't mean to hurt you. I was wrong. Forgive me, my dear.

    Lisa
    You're so kind.

    Man
    But, I really must go now. Here. (he scribbles his address) This is my address. Come to see me.

    Lisa
    Oh, I will, I will.

    Man
    I've got to go now.

    Lisa
    Wait a minute. (she rushes to a small desk and removes a letter) Here, you see.

    (Lisa gives him the letter and he reads it.)

    Man
    It's a very lovely love letter. Who is he?

    Lisa
    He's a medical student in Riga. He knew me when I lived there. I met him a few weeks ago here. Of course, he has no idea what I'm doing now. Isn't it wonderful?

    Man (listlessly)
    Yes, it's very nice.

    Lisa
    But, what shall I do? Can I marry him, as he asks me to? I mean, would it be right, without telling him? And, how can I tell him? I'd rather die than have him know—and—and—well, that's all, I guess.

    Man
    I think you should postpone your decision until after you have left here.

    Lisa
    Yes,—of course—you're entirely right—but—

    Man
    It's up to you, Lisa. I shall be waiting to help you. Now, I am going, Lisa. (he puts on his hat and leaves)

    Lisa (paces up and down a bit after he leaves, clutching her letter)
    But, what if I haven't the courage?

    BLACKOUT

    ACT II.

    Scene 1.

    A garret apartment occupied by the Man of Act I. There is a door to the back, to the audience's left. The Man is talking to his servant, Apollon.

    Man
    Why can't you clean this place up? It would be horrible if a certain person that I'm expecting should see the way you force me to live.

    Apollon
    You've been expecting a certain person to come for the last two weeks —and you know very well this certain persons is the last person you want to see.

    Man
    I order you to clean this place up; it's what I pay you for.

    Apollon
    Pay!! Ha.

    (Apollon now simply stares at the Man. The latter becomes nervous.)

    Man
    Ah—so you're up to your old tricks of staring again. Stop looking at me like that. For ten roubles a month—a good wage—you consent to do absolutely nothing for me and scorn me in the bargain. For seven years you have tormented me and you simply will not go away. Well, I won't pay you your wages if you won't work, and you can stare at me all you like. You haven't earned them and you shan't have them, do you hear?

    (Apollon continues to stare at the Man for a while and then walks out. The Man breathes a sigh of relief. Apollon reappears.)

    Man
    What do you want now?

    Apollon
    Nothing. (he looks at the Man and sighs)

    Man
    I won't do it, I tell you, I won't pay you. Because—because I don't wish to, and I'm the master. If you were respectful—I might—but otherwise you can wait till Doomsday for all I care.

    (There is a knock at the door.)

    Man
    Wait—see who that is. I must straighten up.

    (Apollon shrugs and goes to the door. The Man races about frantically trying to put the room in order but only succeeds in making it more messed.)

    (Zerkov and Trudolyubov enter.)

    Man
    It can't be.

    Trudolyubov
    We came to apologize for the other night. We are very sorry about the whole thing.

    Zerkov
    It was an oversight—a misunderstanding.

    Man
    Your apologies are a little late coming.

    Zerkov
    But, you see, it isn't our fault. We were going out of town—that's what the party was for. We were dreadfully sorry that you got the wrong address. It was all the fault of that stupid waiter. One should never have trusted things to him. He forgot entirely to tell you, and he forgot to tell us until it was too late to tell you we had changed the place of our meeting.

    Man
    I hunted all around for you. It had the appearance of a deliberate insult.

    Trudolyubov
    Can you think we would do such a thing to an old friend? That's uncharitable.

    Zerkov (ironically)
    Certainly we would not want to lose the favor of your wit. We could not be guilty of such baseness to one we value so highly.

    Trudolyubov
    Did you wait long?

    Man
    For almost three hours. Then I went around to your usual haunts and eventually found you had adjourned to Madame Sophie's. I went there, but when I got there, I found you had left.

    Zerkov (sniggering)
    So you scented us out. Bravo! But I hope you did not find your evening altogether wasted. There's a real nice little piece there named Lisa. Just your type, I should imagine.

    Man
    Never met her. If you mean to insult me further— (they make signs of protestation) It wasn't at all funny. It was—it was simply—absurd.

    Trudolyubov
    Absurd, and something else as well. It was rude. Unintentional, of course. And see, we didn't know your address, and there was no way to tell you there'd been a change in plans, so we had to leave a message with the waiter, and he, of course, forgot. Then we had to track you to this place. And so, here we are.

    Zerkov
    Tell me, what are you doing now?

    Man
    I work for the Naval Department.

    Zerkov
    Is it a good position? What made you leave your job with the Treasury? (Zerkov speaks with a slight drawl)

    Man (imitating the drawl)
    I quit because—ah wanted to.

    Zerkov
    And the remuneration?

    Man
    What remuneration?

    Zerkov
    I mean your salary?

    Man
    Are you cross examining me?

    Zerkov (teasing)
    Do you want a lawyer?

    Man
    Five hundred roubles a year, if you must know.

    Zerkov
    It must be hard to make ends meet.

    Trudolyubov
    Slave wages.

    Zerkov
    You've lost a lot of weight. You've really changed a lot.

    Trudolyubov
    Don't embarrass him.

    Man
    I'm not embarrassed. Let's talk of something more intelligent.

    Zerkov
    So you can show off your culture?

    Trudolyubov
    This is really stupid. Here we are, old friends and classmates, squabbling like children.

    Zerkov
    He thinks he's better than I am, because he got better marks than I did when we were in school. Could anything be more ridiculous? I may have envied him his grades, but never as much as he envied me my money. Now for a display of wit.

    Man
    Sir, let me tell you, I hate phrasemongers and fops. That's the first point—and there's a second one to follow it. The second point is I hate smut and smutty talkers. The third point is I love justice, truth, and honesty. I love thought, sir. And I love friendship without condescension. Equality—that's it, I love equality. I should throw a bottle at your heads—but instead, I will simply tell you that I regard you as so many inanimate pawns.

    Zerkov
    I am very much obliged to you.

    Trudolyubov
    He wants a punch in the face for that. He's drunk.

    Zerkov
    So there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. We have seen a display of wit by a man of breeding. An intellectual of our times. An unsocial socialist.

    (The Man starts to employ Apollon's tactics on them. He walks up and down without looking at them, whistling.)

    Zerkov
    There he is thinking if only we knew what a fine fellow he is, how we would hug him to us. Only the fact is, we do know. Come along, we've wasted enough time here.

    Man (barring their way)
    Don't go. I beg your pardon—I've insulted you. And you, too.

    Trudolyubov
    Ah, you don't care for duelling, is that it?

    Man
    I'm not trying to avoid a duel. I'm sorry, I want to be reconciled. I'll fight you, if you wish. You will fire first, and I will fire into the air.

    Trudolyubov
    He is comforting himself—

    Zerkov
    He's simply raving. But, let us pass. Why are you barring our way?

    Man
    I ask for your friendship. I insulted you, but—

    Zerkov
    Insulted? You insulted me? Understand, sir, that you never, under any circumstances, could insult me.

    Trudolyubov
    That's enough for you. Out of the way.

    (They brush him aside and go out. The Man stands momentarily in shock, and then screams for Apollon.)

    Man
    You brutes, you brutes. Either you will go down on your knees to me and beg me for my friendship, or I will slap you in the face. So, this is it, this is it at last—real life. Apollon!! Get me my coat— Hurry up, I've got to slap that man in the face.

    Apollon
    They will beat you.

    Man
    I will slap him, I say. Get me my coat. The blockheads will be forced to see the shame of it. We shall fight at day break—that's certain.

    Apollon
    But, where will you get pistols?

    Man
    I shall borrow them from—no, I'll ask for an advance on my salary to buy them.

    Apollon
    The boss won't give it to you.

    Man
    He must, I say, he must.

    Apollon
    And, where will you get a second?

    Man
    I'll ask my boss. He's bound to consent as a matter of chivalry.

    Apollon
    Ask a bureaucrat to be chivalrous? Don't be absurd.

    Man
    Then, I'll get the first person I meet in the street.

    Apollon
    You're dreaming. What if they have you put in custody?

    Man
    In that case, I'll show them. When I get out, I'll—I'll pull his leg and bite him. I will tell everyone that he has driven me to this, because he refuses to fight.

    Apollon
    People will only laugh at you. You know that's right out of Pushkin.

    Man (furious)
    Do you want me to kill you, too? Oh, it's disgusting—disgusting. It's all the fault of that little bitch. If it hadn't been for her, none of this would have happened. (perceiving that Apollon is staring at him) Well, what are you staring at me for? (Apollon shakes his head slowly) You fiend, you torturer. You want your wages, but you are too proud to beg me for them. So you come here to worry me with your stupid stares. As if I haven't gone through enough. You don't have any idea how stupid you are—stupid, stupid——stupid!! (Apollon turns away from him) Listen, here's the money. See, look at it all. All there, but you're not going to have it. Not until you beg my pardon.

    Apollon
    That cannot be.

    Man
    It must be. I give you my word of honor, it must be.

    Apollon
    There's nothing for me to beg your pardon for. Besides, you called me a fiend and a torturer, for which I can have you arrested—it's insulting behaviour.

    Man
    You are a torturer. Go, summon me. Go at once, and get a police officer. (Apollon laughs at him) Go on—or just imagine what will happen.

    Apollon
    Whoever heard of a man having himself arrested?

    Man (shrieking)
    Go! (there is a knock at the door) They've come back to apologize, I knew it. They've realized what a shame it is, what a tragedy. Go let them in. I will forgive them—

    (Apollon admits Lisa.)

    Apollon
    Lady to see you.

    Man
    You!! (collecting himself) Won't you sit down?

    (The girl who is well-dressed, sits and looks around her. The Man winces as he realizes she is aware of his poverty.)

    Man
    You have found me in a strange position, Lisa. (speaking hurriedly) No, no, don't imagine that I am ashamed of my poverty. No, in fact, I'm rather proud of it. I am poor, but honorable. It is possible to be poor, but honorable. Let me offer you some tea—

    Lisa
    No, thank you.

    Man
    Apollon, here are your wages. You see, I give them to you, but for that, you must come to my rescue. You must go down stairs, this instant, and buy some tea. You don't understand who this woman is. This means—everything.

    Apollon (pays no attention at first, then just as the Man is about to go to pieces completely, says) Shall I get a whole portion? (at a nod from the Man, he leaves)

    Man
    I'll kill him.

    Lisa
    What are you talking about?

    Man
    I will kill him, kill him. You don't know what that torturer is to me. What he does— He is my torturer, he—

    Lisa
    What's wrong?

    Man
    Give me some water—over there—

    Lisa (fetching some water and giving it to him)
    There—are you better?

    Man
    Yes. Lisa, do you despise me? (Lisa does not know what to say and does not answer) Lisa, why have you come here? Tell me—please.

    Lisa
    I—I want to get away from there altogether. (a long silence) Perhaps, I am disturbing you?

    Man
    Not at all. But, that's not the reason you came here. I'll tell you why you've come.

    Lisa
    I'd better go. I can see something's wrong.

    Man
    Oh no, you're not going to get away so easily. Why have you come? Answer! Answer! Then—I'll tell you. You've come because I talked sentimental slop to you. So now you're soft as butter and longing to hear it again. Well, I'm not in the mood. I was laughing at you then, and I'm laughing at you now. (Lisa starts to cry) Why are you crying? Yes, I was laughing at you. I had been insulted by the brutes who came there before me. I was going to challenge them, but they were gone. So, I vented my spleen on you. I had been humiliated, and I wanted to humiliate someone on my turn. You were the lucky person.

    Lisa
    I can't believe you are so cruel—so cynical.

    Man
    Yes, it is possible, my girl. I mean, do you really think I am a wandering missionary to the whores, come on purpose to save your dirty little soul? You really thought that? I only wanted to hear the sound of my own voice.

    Lisa
    But, you told me to come.

    Man
    Save you? Redeem you? From what? Power was what I wanted, then a little sport, to see the little whore squirm under my artfully delivered words. Why? Because I like playing with words. What I really want is for you to go to Hell. Do you have any idea how I cursed myself for giving you my address? It was a necessary part of the game that I give you an address. But, it didn't have to be a correct address. What a fool I was. The world can go to Hell, as long as I have my tea. What do I care whether you go to ruin or not? You have no idea how much I hate you for letting you see me like this.

    Lisa
    But, why should you hate me, why?

    Man
    Why? Because, I posed as such a noble saviour to you. And now you see the real me. I said I'm not ashamed of my poverty. Well—the truth is that I am shamed of it—more than anything else in the world. And then, you walk in and find me squabbling with my servant just like an old peasant. And my servant jeers at me. Surely, you must realize I will never forgive you as long as I live for witnessing this. Yes, you must answer for it because I am a scoundrel—because I am the nastiest worm on earth and you have found me out. Others are no better, but they are never put to confusion the way I am. It's my doom to be insulted wherever I go. Well, why don't you go?

    Lisa
    How unhappy you are.

    Man (sobbing)
    People won't let me—I can't be decent. And now, you are the heroine, and I am a loathsome villain. Not pretty, is it?

    Lisa (kindly)
    Why won't you look at me? (he looks at her) Darling, can't you see it's all right, and that I love you?

    Man
    Yes, I understand your feelings. (He embraces her cruelly, and pulls her down to the bed in frantic lust. She is shocked at first, but then returns his embrace.) But, can you understand my feelings?

    BLACKOUT

    (When the lights go up, Lisa is lying on the bed, crying. She is half clothed, and hasn't the energy to rise. The Man is pacing up and down.)

    Man
    I can't even say I'm sorry, Lisa, though I should be, for you're really a fine girl. You see, all you did was add a personal hatred to the senseless hatred I felt for you. Because, I know you are better than I am, I had to degrade you. In doing so, I've degraded myself even more. And so, you see, the only way your presence will be tolerable to me is when I'm degrading you—to get you back down to my level. It's not a one time thing, Lisa. You will always rise above me, afterwards. So, hadn't you better go? (Lisa begins to dress) Real life is terrible, you know. I love books and the peace they bring. Why should life be so cruel? Won't you please go away, Lisa? Can't you see there's no hope for either of us together. After all, the whorehouse isn't such a bad place. Contrary to what I said, I've known many a girl to lead a long and pleasant life in one. I was just prosing, you understand. And really, a woman who is as good in bed as you are—her future is assured.

    Lisa (still sobbing)
    Goodbye. (she rushes out)

    Man
    Here—wait. You forgot your wages. Well, well, we've finally got rid of her—now we can be at peace. (Looks at the money and then covers his face. Suddenly, he rushes to the window and calls out.) Lisa, Lisa, wait. I want you to forgive me. I want to apologize. I'll marry you.— She's gone—didn't even look back. Gone forever.

    (Enter Apollon. Apollon stares about the room and takes in what has happened. Then he stares reproachfully at the Man.)

    Man
    Well, back at last!! Well, stare away, you—you've got your work cut out for a time.

    CURTAIN