The Bickerstaff-Partridge Papers

Jonathan Swift, et al.

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  • PREDICTIONS FOR THE YEAR 1708
  • The Accomplishment of the First of Mr Bickerstaff's Predictions; being an account of the death of Mr Partridge, the almanack-maker, upon the 29th instant.
  • An Elegy on the supposed Death of Partridge, the Almanack-Maker.
  • An Epitaph on Partridge.
  • [Partridge's reply]
  • A vindication of Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq; against what is objected to him by Mr. Partridge in his almanack for the present year 1709.
  • A famous prediction of Merlin, the British wizard.
  • Annus Mirabilis: or, The wonderful effects of the approaching conjunction of the planets Jupiter, Mars, and Saturn.



  • Jonathan Swift, et al.
    The Bickerstaff-Partridge Papers, etc.
    Annus Mirabilis

    PREDICTIONS FOR THE YEAR 1708





    Wherein the month, and day of the month are set down, the persons
    named, and the great actions and events of next year particularly
    related, as will come to pass.

    Written to prevent the people of England from being farther
    imposed on by vulgar almanack-makers.

    By Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq.

    I have long consider'd the gross abuse of astrology in this
    kingdom, and upon debating the matter with myself, I could not
    possibly lay the fault upon the art, but upon those gross
    impostors, who set up to be the artists. I know several learned
    men have contended that the whole is a cheat; that it is absurd
    and ridiculous to imagine, the stars can have any influence at
    all upon human actions, thoughts, or inclinations: And whoever
    has not bent his studies that way, may be excused for thinking
    so, when he sees in how wretched a manner that noble art is
    treated by a few mean illiterate traders between us and the
    stars; who import a yearly stock of nonsense, lyes, folly, and
    impertinence, which they offer to the world as genuine from the
    planets, tho' they descend from no greater a height than their
    own brains.

    I intend in a short time to publish a large and rational defence
    of this art, and therefore shall say no more in its justification
    at present, than that it hath been in all ages defended by many
    learned men, and among the rest by Socrates himself, whom I look
    upon as undoubtedly the wisest of uninspir'd mortals: To which if
    we add, that those who have condemned this art, though otherwise
    learned, having been such as either did not apply their studies
    this way, or at least did not succeed in their applications;
    their testimony will not be of much weight to its disadvantage,
    since they are liable to the common objection of condemning what
    they did not understand.

    Nor am I at all offended, or think it an injury to the art, when
    I see the common dealers in it, the students in astrology, the
    philomaths, and the rest of that tribe, treated by wise men with
    the utmost scorn and contempt; but rather wonder, when I observe
    gentlemen in the country, rich enough to serve the nation in
    parliament, poring in Partridge's almanack, to find out the
    events of the year at home and abroad; not daring to propose a
    hunting-match, till Gadbury or he have fixed the weather.

    I will allow either of the two I have mentioned, or any other of
    the fraternity, to be not only astrologers, but conjurers too, if
    I do not produce a hundred instances in all their almanacks, to
    convince any reasonable man, that they do not so much as
    understand common grammar and syntax; that they are not able to
    spell any word out of the usual road, nor even in their prefaces
    write common sense or intelligible English. Then for their
    observations and predictions, they are such as will equally suit
    any age or country in the world. "This month a certain great
    person will be threatened with death or sickness." This the
    news-papers will tell them; for there we find at the end of the
    year, that no month passes without the death of some person of
    note; and it would be hard if it should be otherwise, when there
    are at least two thousand persons of not in this kingdom, many of
    them old, and the almanack-maker has the liberty of chusing the
    sickliest season of the year where he may fix his prediction.
    Again, "This month an eminent clergyman will be preferr'd;" of
    which there may be some hundreds half of them with one foot in
    the grave. Then "such a planet in such a house shews great
    machinations, plots and conspiracies, that may in time be brought
    to light:" After which, if we hear of any discovery, the
    astrologer gets the honour; if not, his prediction still stands
    good. And at last, "God preserve King William from all his open
    and secret enemies, Amen." When if the King should happen to have
    died, the astrologer plainly foretold it; otherwise it passes but
    for the pious ejaculation of a loyal subject: Though it unluckily
    happen'd in some of their almanacks, that poor King William was
    pray'd for many months after he was dead, because it fell out
    that he died about the beginning of the year.

    To mention no more of their impertinent predictions: What have we
    to do with their advertisements about pills and drink for the
    venereal disease? Or their mutual quarrels in verse and prose of
    Whig and Tory, wherewith the stars have little to do?

    Having long observed and lamented these, and a hundred other
    abuses of this art, too tedious to repeat, I resolved to proceed
    in a new way, which I doubt not will be to the general
    satisfaction of the kingdom: I can this year produce but a
    specimen of what I design for the future; having employ'd most
    part of my time in adjusting and correcting the calculations I
    made some years past, because I would offer nothing to the world
    of which I am not as fully satisfied, as that I am now alive. For
    these two last years I have not failed in above one or two
    particulars, and those of no very great moment. I exactly
    foretold the miscarriage at Toulon, with all its particulars; and
    the loss of Admiral Shovel, tho' I was mistaken as to the day,
    placing that accident about thirty-six hours sooner than it
    happen'd; but upon reviewing my schemes, I quickly found the
    cause of that error. I likewise foretold the Battle of Almanza to
    the very day and hour, with the loss on both sides, and the
    consequences thereof. All which I shewed to some friends many
    months before they happened, that is, I gave them papers sealed
    up, to open at such a time, after which they were at liberty to
    read them; and there they found my predictions true in every
    article, except one or two, very minute.

    As for the few following predictions I now offer the world, I
    forbore to publish them till I had perused the several almanacks
    for the year we are now enter'd on. I find them in all the usual
    strain, and I beg the reader will compare their manner with mine:
    And here I make bold to tell the world, that I lay the whole
    credit of my art upon the truth of these predictions; and I will
    be content, that Partridge, and the rest of his clan, may hoot me
    for a cheat and impostor, if I fail in any singular particular of
    moment. I believe, any man who reads this paper, will look upon
    me to be at least a person of as much honesty and understanding,
    as a common maker of almanacks. I do not lurk in the dark; I am
    not wholly unknown in the world; I have set my name at length, to
    be a mark of infamy to mankind, if they shall find I deceive
    them.

    In one thing I must desire to be forgiven, that I talk more
    sparingly of home-affairs: As it will be imprudence to discover
    secrets of state, so it would be dangerous to my person; but in
    smaller matters, and that are not of publick consequence, I shall
    be very free; and the truth of my conjectures will as much appear
    from those as the other. As for the most signal events abroad in
    France, Flanders, Italy and Spain, I shall make no scruple to
    predict them in plain terms: Some of them are of importance, and
    I hope I shall seldom mistake the day they will happen;
    therefore, I think good to inform the reader, that I all along
    make use of the Old Style observed in England, which I desire he
    will compare with that of the news-papers, at the time they
    relate the actions I mention.

    I must add one word more: I know it hath been the opinion of
    several of the learned, who think well enough of the true art of
    astrology, That the stars do only incline, and not force the
    actions or wills of men: And therefore, however I may proceed by
    right rules, yet I cannot in prudence so confidently assure the
    events will follow exactly as I predict them.

    I hope I have maturely considered this objection, which in some
    cases is of no little weight. For example: A man may, by the
    influence of an over-ruling planet, be disposed or inclined to
    lust, rage, or avarice, and yet by the force of reason overcome
    that bad influence; and this was the case of Socrates: But as the
    great events of the world usually depend upon numbers of men, it
    cannot be expected they should all unite to cross their
    inclinations, from pursuing a general design, wherein they
    unanimously agree. Besides the influence of the stars reaches to
    many actions and events which are not any way in the power of
    reason; as sickness, death, and what we commonly call accidents,
    with many more, needless to repeat.

    But now it is time to proceed to my predictions, which I have
    begun to calculate from the time that the Sun enters into Aries.
    And this I take to be properly the beginning of the natural year.
    I pursue them to the time that he enters Libra, or somewhat more,
    which is the busy period of the year. The remainder I have not
    yet adjusted, upon account of several impediments needless here
    to mention: Besides, I must remind the reader again, that this is
    but a specimen of what I design in succeeding years to treat more
    at large, if I may have liberty and encouragement.

    My first prediction is but a trifle, yet I will mention it, to
    show how ignorant those sottish pretenders to astrology are in
    their own concerns: It relates to Partridge the almanack-maker; I
    have consulted the stars of his nativity by my own rules, and
    find he will infallibly die upon the 29th of March next, about
    eleven at night, of a raging fever; therefore I advise him to
    consider of it, and settle his affairs in time.

    The month of April will be observable for the death of many great
    persons. On the 4th will die the Cardinal de Noailles, Archbishop
    of Paris: On the 11th the young Prince of Asturias, son to the
    Duke of Anjou: On the 14th a great peer of this realm will die at
    his country-house: On the 19th an old layman of great fame for
    learning: and on the 23rd an eminent goldsmith in Lombard-Street.
    I could mention others, both at home and abroad, if I did not
    consider it is of very little use or instruction to the reader,
    or to the world.

    As to publick affairs: On the 7th of this month there will be an
    insurrection in Dauphine, occasion'd by the oppressions of the
    people, which will not be quieted in some months.

    On the 15th will be a violent storm on the south-east coast of
    France, which will destroy many of their ships, and some in the
    very harbour.

    The 19th will be famous for the revolt of a whole province or
    kingdom, excepting one city, by which the affairs of a certain
    prince in the alliance will take a better face.

    May, against common conjectures, will be no very busy month in
    Europe, but very signal for the death of the Dauphin, which will
    happen on the 7th, after a short fit of sickness, and grievous
    torments with the strangury. He dies less lamented by the court
    than the kingdom.

    On the 9th a Mareschal of France will break his leg by a fall
    from his horse. I have not been able to discover whether he will
    then die or not.

    On the 11th will begin a most important siege, which the eyes of
    all Europe will be upon: I cannot be more particular: for in
    relating affairs that so nearly concern the Confederates, and
    consequently this Kingdom, I am forced to confine myself, for
    several reasons very obvious to the reader.

    On the 15th news will arrive of a very surprizing event, than
    which nothing could be more unexpected.

    On the 19th three noble ladies of this Kingdom will, against all
    expectation, prove with child, to the great joy of their
    husbands.

    On the 23rd a famous buffoon of the play-house will die a
    ridiculous death, suitable to his vocation.

    June. This month will be distinguish'd at home, by the utter
    dispersing of those ridiculous deluded enthusiasts, commonly
    call'd the Prophets; occasion'd chiefly by seeing the time come
    that many of their prophecies should be fulfill'd, and then
    finding themselves deceiv'd by contrary events. It is indeed to
    be admir'd how any deceiver can be so weak, to foretel things
    near at hand, when a very few months must of necessity discover
    the impostor to all the world; in this point less prudent than
    common almanack-makers, who are so wise to wonder in generals,
    and talk dubiously, and leave to the reader the business of
    interpreting.

    On the 1st of this month a French general will be killed by a
    random shot of a cannon-ball.

    On the 6th a fire will break out in the suburbs of Paris, which
    will destroy above a thousand houses; and seems to be the
    foreboding of what will happen, to the surprize of all Europe,
    about the end of the following month.

    On the 10th a great battle will be fought, which will begin at
    four of the clock in the afternoon; and last till nine at night
    with great obstinacy, but no very decisive event. I shall not
    name the place, for the reasons aforesaid; but the commanders on
    each left wing will be killed. -- I see bonfires, and hear the
    noise of guns for a victory.

    On the 14th there will be a false report of the French king's
    death.

    On the 20th Cardinal Portocarero will die of a dysentery, with
    great suspicion of poison; but the report of his intention to
    revolt to King Charles, will prove false.

    July. The 6th of this month a certain general will, by a glorious
    action, recover the reputation he lost by former misfortunes.

    On the 12th a great commander will die a prisoner in the hands of
    his enemies.

    On the 14th a shameful discovery will be made of a French Jesuit,
    giving poison to a great foreign general; and when he is put to
    the torture, will make wonderful discoveries.

    In short this will prove a month of great action, if I might have
    liberty to relate the particulars.

    At home, the death of an old famous senator will happen on the
    15th at his country-house, worn with age and diseases.

    But that which will make this month memorable to all posterity,
    is the death of the French King, Lewis the fourteenth, after a
    week's sickness at Marli, which will happen on the 29th, about
    six o'clock in the evening. It seems to be an effect of the gout
    in his stomach, followed by a flux. And in three days after
    Monsieur Chamillard will follow his master, dying suddenly of an
    appoplexy.

    In this month likewise an ambassador will die in London; but I
    cannot assign the day.

    August. The affairs of France will seem to suffer no change for a
    while under the Duke of Burgundy's administration; but the genius
    that animated the whole machine being gone, will be the cause of
    mighty turns and revolutions in the following year. The new King
    makes yet little change either in the army or the ministry; but
    the libels against his grandfather, that fly about his very
    court, give him uneasiness.

    I see an express in mighty haste, with joy and wonder in his
    looks, arriving by break of day on the 26th of this month, having
    travell'd in three days a prodigious journey by land and sea. In
    the evening I hear bells and guns, and see the blazing of a
    thousand bonfires.

    A young admiral of noble birth, does likewise this month gain
    immortal honour by a great achievement.

    The affairs of Poland are this month entirely settled: Augustus
    resigns his pretensions which he had again taken up for some
    time: Stanislaus is peaceably possess'd of the throne; and the
    King of Sweden declares for the Emperor.

    I cannot omit one particular accident here at home; that near the
    end of this month much mischief will be done at Bartholomew Fair,
    by the fall of a booth.

    September. This month begins with a very surprizing fit of frosty
    weather, which will last near twelve days.

    The Pope having long languish'd last month, the swellings in his
    legs breaking, and the flesh mortifying, will die on the 11th
    instant; and in three weeks time, after a mighty contest, be
    succeeded by a cardinal of the imperial faction, but native of
    Tuscany, who is now about sixty-one years old.

    The French army acts now wholly on the defensive, strongly
    fortify'd in their trenches; and the young French King sends
    overtures for a treaty of peace by the Duke of Mantua; which,
    because it is a matter of state that concerns us here at home, I
    shall speak no farther of it.

    I shall add but one prediction more, and that in mystical terms,
    which shall be included in a verse out of Virgil,

    Alter erit jam Tethys, altera quae vehat Argo.
    Delectos heroas.

    Upon the 25th day of this month, the fulfilling of this
    prediction will be manifest to every body.

    This is the farthest I have proceeded in my calculations for the
    present year. I do not pretend, that these are all the great
    events which will happen in this period, but that those I have
    set down will infallibly come to pass. It will perhaps still be
    objected, why I have not spoke more particularly of affairs at
    home, or of the success of our armies abroad, which I might, and
    could very largely have done; but those in power have wisely
    discouraged men from meddling in publick concerns, and I was
    resolv'd by no means to give the least offence. This I will
    venture to say, That it will be a glorious campaign for the
    allies, wherein the English forces, both by sea and land, will
    have their full share of honour: That her Majesty Queen Anne will
    continue in health and prosperity: And that no ill accident will
    arrive to any of the chief ministry.

    As to the particular events I have mention'd, the readers may
    judge by the fulfilling of 'em, whether I am on the level with
    common astrologers; who, with an old paultry cant, and a few
    pothook for planets, to amuse the vulgar, have, in my opinion,
    too long been suffer'd to abuse the world: But an honest
    physician ought not to be despis'd, because there are such things
    as mountebanks. I hope I have some share of reputation, which I
    would not willingly forfeit for a frolick or humour: And I
    believe no gentleman, who reads this paper, will look upon it to
    be of the same cast or mould with the common scribblers that are
    every day hawk'd about. My fortune has placed me above the little
    regard of scribbling for a few pence, which I neither value or
    want: Therefore let no wise men too hastily condemn this essay,
    intended for a good design, to cultivate and improve an ancient
    art, long in disgrace, by having fallen into mean and unskilful
    hands. A little time will determine whether I have deceived
    others or myself: and I think it is no very unreasonable request,
    that men would please to suspend their judgments till then. I was
    once of the opinion with those who despise all predictions from
    the stars, till the year 1686, a man of quality shew'd me,
    written in his album, That the most learned astronomer, Captain
    H. assured him, he would never believe any thing of the stars'
    influence, if there were not a great revolution in England in the
    year 1688. Since that time I began to have other thoughts, and
    after eighteen years diligent study and application, I think I
    have no reason to repent of my pains. I shall detain the reader
    no longer, than to let him know, that the account I design to
    give of next year's events, shall take in the principal affairs
    that happen in Europe; and if I be denied the liberty of offering
    it to my own country, I shall appeal to the learned world, by
    publishing it in Latin, and giving order to have it printed in
    Holland.
    ______________________________________________

    The Accomplishment of the First of Mr Bickerstaff's Predictions;
    being an account of the death of Mr Partridge, the
    almanack-maker, upon the 29th instant.



    In a letter to a person of honour
    Written in the year 1708

    My Lord,

    In obedience to your Lordship's commands, as well as to satisfy
    my own curiosity, I have for some days past enquired constantly
    after Partridge the almanack-maker, of whom it was foretold in
    Mr. Bickerstaff's predictions, publish'd about a month ago, that
    he should die on the 29th instant about eleven at night of a
    raging fever. I had some sort of knowledge of him when I was
    employ'd in the Revenue, because he used every year to present me
    with his almanack, as he did other gentlemen, upon the score of
    some little gratuity we gave him. I saw him accidentally once or
    twice about ten days before he died, and observed he began very
    much to droop and languish, tho' I hear his friends did not seem
    to apprehend him in any danger. About two or three days ago he
    grew ill, and was confin'd first to his chamber, and in a few
    hours after to his bed, where Dr. Case and Mrs. Kirleus were sent
    for to visit, and to prescribe to him. Upon this intelligence I
    sent thrice every day one servant or other to enquire after his
    health; and yesterday, about four in the afternoon, word was
    brought me that he was past hopes: Upon which, I prevailed with
    myself to go and see him, partly out of commiseration, and I
    confess, partly out of curiosity. He knew me very well, seem'd
    surpriz'd at my condescension, and made me compliments upon it as
    well as he could, in the condition he was. The people about him
    said, he had been for some time delirious; but when I saw him, he
    had his understanding as well as ever I knew, and spake strong
    and hearty, without any seeming uneasiness or constraint. After I
    told him how sorry I was to see him in those melancholy
    circumstances, and said some other civilities, suitable to the
    occasion, I desired him to tell me freely and ingeniously,
    whether the predictions Mr. Bickerstaff had publish'd relating to
    his death, had not too much affected and worked on his
    imagination. He confess'd he had often had it in his head, but
    never with much apprehension, till about a fortnight before;
    since which time it had the perpetual possession of his mind and
    thoughts, and he did verily believe was the true natural cause of
    his present distemper: For, said he, I am thoroughly persuaded,
    and I think I have very good reasons, that Mr. Bickerstaff spoke
    altogether by guess, and knew no more what will happen this year
    than I did myself. I told him his discourse surprized me; and I
    would be glad he were in a state of health to be able to tell me
    what reason he had to be convinc'd of Mr. Bickerstaff's
    ignorance. He reply'd, I am a poor ignorant fellow, bred to a
    mean trade, yet I have sense enough to know that all pretences of
    foretelling by astrology are deceits, for this manifest reason,
    because the wise and the learned, who can only know whether there
    be any truth in this science, do all unanimously agree to laugh
    at and despise it; and none but the poor ignorant vulgar give it
    any credit, and that only upon the word of such silly wretches as
    I and my fellows, who can hardly write or read. I then asked him
    why he had not calculated his own nativity, to see whether it
    agreed with Bickerstaff's prediction? at which he shook his head,
    and said, Oh! sir, this is no time for jesting, but for repenting
    those fooleries, as I do now from the very bottom of my heart. By
    what I can gather from you, said I, the observations and
    predictions you printed, with your almanacks, were mere
    impositions on the people. He reply'd, if it were otherwise I
    should have the less to answer for. We have a common form for all
    those things, as to foretelling the weather, we never meddle with
    that, but leave it to the printer, who takes it out of any old
    almanack, as he thinks fit; the rest was my own invention, to
    make my almanack sell, having a wife to maintain, and no other
    way to get my bread; for mending old shoes is a poor livelihood;
    and, (added he, sighing) I wish I may not have done more mischief
    by my physick than my astrology; tho' I had some good receipts
    from my grandmother, and my own compositions were such as I
    thought could at least do no hurt.

    I had some other discourse with him, which now I cannot call to
    mind; and I fear I have already tired your Lordship. I shall only
    add one circumstance, That on his death-bed he declared himself a
    Nonconformist, and had a fanatick preacher to be his spiritual
    guide. After half an hour's conversation I took my leave, being
    half stifled by the closeness of the room. I imagine he could not
    hold out long, and therefore withdrew to a little coffee-house
    hard by, leaving a servant at the house with orders to come
    immediately, and tell me, as near as he could, the minute when
    Partridge should expire, which was not above two hours after;
    when, looking upon my watch, I found it to be above five minutes
    after seven; by which it is clear that Mr. Bickerstaff was
    mistaken almost four hours in his calculation. In the other
    circumstances he was exact enough. But whether he has not been
    the cause of this poor man's death, as well as the predictor, may
    be very reasonably disputed. However, it must be confess'd the
    matter is odd enough, whether we should endeavour to account for
    it by chance, or the effect of imagination: For my own part, tho'
    I believe no man has less faith in these matters, yet I shall
    wait with some impatience, and not without some expectation, the
    fulfilling of Mr. Bickerstaff's second prediction, that the
    Cardinal de Noailles is to die upon the fourth of April, and if
    that should be verified as exactly as this of poor Partridge, I
    must own I should be wholly surprized, and at a loss, and should
    infallibly expect the accomplishment of all the rest.
    ______________________________________________

    An Elegy on the supposed Death of Partridge, the Almanack-Maker.



    Well, 'tis as Bickerstaff has guess'd,
    Tho' we all took it for a jest;
    Partridge is dead, nay more, he dy'd
    E're he could prove the good 'Squire ly'd.
    Strange, an Astrologer shou'd die,
    Without one Wonder in the Sky!
    Not one of all his Crony Stars
    To pay their Duty at his Herse?
    No Meteor, no Eclipse appear'd?
    No Comet with a flaming Beard?
    The Sun has rose, and gone to Bed,
    Just as if partridge were not dead:
    Nor hid himself behind the Moon,
    To make a dreadful Night at Noon.
    He at fit Periods walks through Aries,
    Howe'er our earthly Motion varies;
    And twice a Year he'll cut th' Equator,
    As if there had been no such Matter.

    Some Wits have wonder'd what Analogy
    There is 'twixt Cobbling* and Astrology:
    How Partridge made his Optics rise,
    From a Shoe-Sole, to reach the Skies.

    A List of Coblers Temples Ties,
    To keep the Hair out of their Eyes;
    From whence 'tis plain the Diadem
    That Princes wear, derives from them.
    And therefore Crowns are now-a-days
    Adorn'd with Golden Stars and Rays,
    Which plainly shews the near Alliance
    'Twixt cobling and the Planets Science.

    Besides, that slow-pac'd Sign Bootes,
    As 'tis miscall'd, we know not who 'tis?
    But Partridge ended all Disputes,
    He knew his Trade, and call'd it **Boots.

    The Horned Moon, which heretofore
    Upon their Shoes the Romans wore,
    Whose Wideness kept their Toes from Corns,
    And whence we claim our Shooing-Horns;
    Shows how the Art of Cobling bears
    A near Resemblance to the Spheres.

    A Scrap of Parchment hung by Geometry
    (A great Refinement in Barometry)
    Can, like the Stars, foretel the Weather;
    And what is Parchment else but Leather?
    Which an Astrologer might use,
    Either for Almanacks or Shoes.

    Thus Partridge, by his Wit and Parts,
    At once did practise both these Arts;
    And as the boading Owl (or rather
    The Bat, because her Wings are Leather)
    Steals from her private Cell by Night,
    And flies about the Candle-Light;
    So learned Partridge could as well
    Creep in the Dark from Leathern Cell,
    And, in his Fancy, fly as fair,
    To peep upon a twinkling Star.

    Besides, he could confound the Spheres,
    And set the Planets by the Ears;
    To shew his Skill, he Mars could join
    To Venus in Aspect Mali'n;
    Then call in Mercury for Aid,
    And cure the Wounds that Venus made.

    Great Scholars have in Lucian read,
    When Philip, King of Greece was dead,
    His Soul and Spirit did divide,
    And each Part took a diff'rent Side;
    One rose a Star, the other fell
    Beneath, and mended Shoes in Hell.

    Thus Partridge still shines in each Art,
    The Cobling and Star-gazing Part,
    And is install'd as good a Star
    As any of the Caesars are.

    Triumphant Star! some Pity shew
    On Coblers militant below,
    Whom roguish Boys in stormy Nights
    Torment, by pissing out their Lights;
    Or thro' a Chink convey their Smoke;
    Inclos'd Artificers to choke.

    Thou, high exalted in thy Sphere,
    May'st follow still thy Calling there.
    To thee the Bull will lend his hide,
    By Phoebus newly tann'd and dry'd.
    For thee they Argo's Hulk will tax,
    And scrape her pitchy Sides for Wax.
    Then Ariadne kindly lends
    Her braided Hair to make thee Ends.
    The Point of Sagittarius' Dart
    Turns to an awl, by heav'nly Art;
    And Vulcan, wheedled by his Wife,
    Will forge for thee a Paring-Knife.
    For want of Room, by Virgo's Side,
    She'll strain a Point, and sit astride***,
    To take thee kindly in between,
    And then the Signs will be Thirteen.

    *Partridge was a Cobler.
    ** See his Almanack
    ***Tibi brachia contrahet ingens Scorpius, etc.
    ______________________________________________

    An Epitaph on Partridge.



    Here, five Foot deep, lies on his Back,
    A Cobler, Starmonger, and Quack;
    Who to the Stars in pure Good-will,
    Does to his best look upward still.
    Weep all you Customers that use
    His Pills, his Almanacks, or Shoes;
    And you that did your Fortunes seek,
    Step to his Grave but once a Week:
    This Earth which bears his Body's Print,
    You'll find has so much Vertue in't,
    That I durst pawn my Ears 'twill tell
    Whate'er concerns you full as well,
    In Physick, Stolen Goods, or Love,
    As he himself could, when above.
    ____________________________________

    [Partridge's reply]



    'Squire Bickerstaff detected; or, the astrological impostor
    convicted;
    by John Partridge, student in physick and astrology.

    It is hard, my dear countrymen of these united nations, it is
    very hard that a Briton born, a Protestant astrologer, a man of
    revolution principles, an assertor of the liberty and property of
    the people, should cry out, in vain, for justice against a
    Frenchman, a Papist, an illiterate pretender to science; that
    would blast my reputation, most inhumanly bury me alive, and
    defraud my native country of those services, that, in my double
    capacity, I daily offer to the publick.

    What great provocations I have receiv'd, let the impartial reader
    judge, and how unwillingly, even in my own defence, I now enter
    the lists against falsehood, ignorance and envy: But I am
    exasperated, at length, to drag out this cacus from the den of
    obscurity where he lurks, detect him by the light of those stars
    he has so impudently traduced, and shew there's not a monster in
    the skies so pernicious and malevolent to mankind, as an ignorant
    pretender to physick and astrology. I shall not directly fall on
    the many gross errors, nor expose the notorious absurdities of
    this prostituted libeller, till I have let the learned world
    fairly into the controversy depending, and then leave the
    unprejudiced to judge of the merits and justice of the cause.

    It was towards the conclusion of the year 1707, when an impudent
    pamphlet crept into the world, intituled, 'Predictions, etc.' by
    Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq; -- Amongst the many arrogant assertions
    laid down by that lying spirit of divination, he was pleas'd to
    pitch on the Cardinal de Noailles and myself, among many other
    eminent and illustrious persons, that were to die within the
    compass of the ensuing year; and peremptorily fixes the month,
    day, and hour of our deaths: This, I think, is sporting with
    great men, and publick spirits, to the scandal of religion, and
    reproach of power; and if sovereign princes and astrologers must
    make diversion for the vulgar ---- why then farewel, say I, to
    all governments, ecclesiastical and civil. But, I thank my better
    stars, I am alive to confront this false and audacious predictor,
    and to make him rue the hour he ever affronted a man of science
    and resentment. The Cardinal may take what measures he pleases
    with him; as his excellency is a foreigner, and a papist, he has
    no reason to rely on me for his justification; I shall only
    assure the world he is alive ---- but as he was bred to letters,
    and is master of a pen, let him use it in his own defence. In the
    mean time I shall present the publick with a faithful narrative
    of the ungenerous treatment and hard usage I have received from
    the virulent papers and malicious practices of this pretended
    astrologer.

    A true and impartial account of the proceedings of Isaac
    Bickerstaff, Esq; against me ----

    The 28th of March, Anno Dom. 1708, being the night this
    sham-prophet had so impudently fix'd for my last, which made
    little impression on myself; but I cannot answer for my whole
    family; for my wife, with a concern more than usual, prevailed on
    me to take somewhat to sweat for a cold; and, between the hours
    of eight and nine, to go to bed: The maid, as she was warming my
    bed, with a curiosity natural to young wenches, runs to the
    window, and asks of one passing the street, who the bell toll'd
    for? Dr. Partridge, says he, that famous almanack-maker, who died
    suddenly this evening: The poor girl provoked, told him he ly'd
    like a rascal; the other very sedately reply'd, the sexton had so
    informed him, and if false, he was to blame for imposing upon a
    stranger. She asked a second, and a third, as they passed, and
    every one was in the same tone. Now I don't say these are
    accomplices to a certain astrological 'squire, and that one
    Bickerstaff might be sauntring thereabouts; because I will assert
    nothing here but what I dare attest, and plain matter of fact. My
    wife at this fell into a violent disorder; and I must own I was a
    little discomposed at the oddness of the accident. In the mean
    time one knocks at my door, Betty runs down, and opening, finds a
    sober grave person, who modestly enquires if this was Dr.
    Partridge's? She taking him for some cautious city-patient, that
    came at that time for privacy, shews him into the dining room. As
    soon as I could compose myself, I went to him, and was surprized
    to find my gentleman mounted on a table with a two-foot rule in
    his hand, measuring my walls, and taking the dimensions of the
    room. Pray sir, says I, not to interrupt you, have you any
    business with me? Only, sir, replies he, order the girl to bring
    me a better light, for this is but a very dim one. Sir, says I,
    my name is Partridge: Oh! the Doctor's brother, belike, cries he;
    the stair-case, I believe, and these two apartments hung in close
    mourning, will be sufficient, and only a strip of bays round the
    other rooms. The Doctor must needs die rich, he had great
    dealings in his way for many years; if he had no family coat, you
    had as good use the escutcheons of the company, they are as
    showish, and will look as magnificent as if he was descended from
    the blood royal. With that I assumed a great air of authority,
    and demanded who employ'd him, or how he came there? Why, I was
    sent, sir, by the Company of Undertakers, says he, and they were
    employed by the honest gentleman, who is executor to the good
    Doctor departed; and our rascally porter, I believe, is fallen
    fast asleep with the black cloth and sconces, or he had been
    here, and we might have been tacking up by this time. Sir, says
    I, pray be advis'd by a friend, and make the best of your speed
    out of my doors, for I hear my wife's voice, (which by the by, is
    pretty distinguishable) and in that corner of the room stands a
    good cudgel, which somebody has felt e're now; if that light in
    her hands, and she know the business you come about, without
    consulting the stars, I can assure you it will be employed very
    much to the detriment of your person. Sir, cries he, bowing with
    great civility, I perceive extreme grief for the loss of the
    Doctor disorders you a little at present, but early in the
    morning I'll wait on you with all necessary materials. Now I
    mention no Mr. Bickerstaff, nor do I say, that a certain
    star-gazing 'squire has been playing my executor before his time;
    but I leave the world to judge, and if he puts things and things
    fairly together, it won't be much wide of the mark.

    Well, once more I got my doors clos'd, and prepar'd for bed, in
    hopes of a little repose after so many ruffling adventures; just
    as I was putting out my light in order to it, another bounces as
    hard as he can knock; I open the window, and ask who's there, and
    what he wants? I am Ned the sexton, replies he, and come to know
    whether the Doctor left any orders for a funeral sermon, and
    where he is to be laid, and whether his grave is to be plain or
    bricked? Why, sirrah, says I, you know me well enough; you know I
    am not dead, and how dare you affront me in this manner?
    Alack-a-day, replies the fellow, why 'tis in print, and the whole
    town knows you are dead; why, there's Mr. White the joiner is but
    fitting screws to your coffin, he'll be here with it in an
    instant: he was afraid you would have wanted it before this time.
    Sirrah, Sirrah, says I, you shall know tomorrow to your cost,
    that I am alive, and alive like to be. Why, 'tis strange, sir,
    says he, you should make such a secret of your death to us that
    are your neighbours; it looks as if you had a design to defraud
    the church of its dues; and let me tell you, for one that has
    lived so long by the heavens, that's unhandsomely done. Hist,
    Hist, says another rogue that stood by him, away Doctor, in your
    flannel gear as fast as you can, for here's a whole pack of
    dismals coming to you with their black equipage, and how indecent
    will it look for you to stand fright'ning folks at your window,
    when you should have been in your coffin this three hours? In
    short, what with undertakers, imbalmers, joiners, sextons, and
    your damn'd elegy hawkers, upon a late practitioner in physick
    and astrology, I got not one wink of sleep that night, nor scarce
    a moment's rest ever since. Now I doubt not but this villainous
    'squire has the impudence to assert, that these are entirely
    strangers to him; he, good man, knows nothing of the matter, and
    honest Isaac Bickerstaff, I warrant you, is more a man of honour,
    than to be an accomplice with a pack of rascals, that walk the
    streets on nights, and disturb good people in their beds; but he
    is out, if he thinks the whole world is blind; for there is one
    John Partridge can smell a knave as far as Grubstreet, -- tho' he
    lies in the most exalted garret, and writes himself 'Squire: --
    But I'll keep my temper, and proceed in the narration.

    I could not stir out of doors for the space of three months after
    this, but presently one comes up to me in the street; Mr
    Partridge, that coffin you was last buried in I have not been yet
    paid for: Doctor, cries another dog, How d'ye think people can
    live by making of graves for nothing? Next time you die, you may
    e'en toll out the bell yourself for Ned. A third rogue tips me by
    the elbow, and wonders how I have the conscience to sneak abroad
    without paying my funeral expences. Lord, says one, I durst have
    swore that was honest Dr. Partridge, my old friend; but poor man,
    he is gone. I beg your pardon, says another, you look so like my
    old acquaintance that I used to consult on some private
    occasions; but, alack, he's gone the way of all flesh ---- Look,
    look, look, cries a third, after a competent space of staring at
    me, would not one think our neighbour the almanack-maker, was
    crept out of his grave to take t'other peep at the stars in this
    world, and shew how much he is improv'd in fortune-telling by
    having taken a journey to the other?

    Nay, the very reader, of our parish, a good sober, discreet
    person, has sent two or three times for me to come and be buried
    decently, or send him sufficient reasons to the contrary, if I
    have been interr'd in any other parish, to produce my
    certificate, as the act requires. My poor wife is almost run
    distracted with being called Widow Partridge, when she knows its
    false; and once a term she is cited into the court, to take out
    letters of administration. But the greatest grievance is, a
    paultry quack, that takes up my calling just under my nose, and
    in his printed directions with N.B. says, He lives in the house
    of the late ingenious Mr. John Partridge, an eminent practitioner
    in leather, physick and astrology.

    But to show how far the wicked spirit of envy, malice and
    resentment can hurry some men, my nameless old persecutor had
    provided me a monument at the stone-cutter's and would have
    erected it in the parish-church; and this piece of notorious and
    expensive villany had actually succeeded, had I not used my
    utmost interest with the vestry, where it was carried at last but
    by two voices, that I am still alive. That stratagem failing, out
    comes a long sable elegy, bedeck'd with hour-glasses, mattocks,
    sculls, spades, and skeletons, with an epitaph as confidently
    written to abuse me, and my profession, as if I had been under
    ground these twenty years.

    And, after such barbarous treatment as this, can the world blame
    me, when I ask, What is become of the freedom of an Englishman?
    And where is the liberty and property that my old glorious friend
    came over to assert? We have drove popery out of the nation, and
    sent slavery to foreign climes. The arts only remain in bondage,
    when a man of science and character shall be openly insulted in
    the midst of the many useful services he is daily paying to the
    publick. Was it ever heard, even in Turkey or Algiers, that a
    state-astrologer was banter'd out of his life by an ignorant
    impostor, or bawl'd out of the world by a pack of villanous,
    deep-mouth'd hawkers? Though I print almanacks, and publish
    advertisements; though I produce certificates under the ministers
    and church-wardens hands I am alive, and attest the same on oath
    at quarter-sessions, out comes a full and true relation of the
    death and interment of John Partridge; Truth is bore down,
    attestations neglected, the testimony of sober persons despised,
    and a man is looked upon by his neighbours as if he had been
    seven years dead, and is buried alive in the midst of his friends
    and acquaintance.

    Now can any man of common sense think it consistent with the
    honour of my profession, and not much beneath the dignity of a
    philosopher, to stand bawling before his own door? ---- Alive!
    Alive ho! The famous Dr. Partridge! No counterfeit, but all
    alive! ---- As if I had the twelve celestial monsters of the
    zodiac to shew within, or was forced for a livelihood to turn
    retailer to May and Bartholomew Fairs. Therefore, if Her Majesty
    would but graciously be pleased to think a hardship of this
    nature worthy her royal consideration, and the next parliament,
    in their great wisdom cast but an eye towards the deplorable case
    of their old philomath, that annually bestows his poetical good
    wishes on them, I am sure there is one Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq;
    would soon be truss'd up for his bloody predictions, and putting
    good subjects in terror of their lives: And that henceforward to
    murder a man by way of prophecy, and bury him in a printed
    letter, either to a lord or commoner, shall as legally entitle
    him to the present possession of Tyburn, as if he robb'd on the
    highway, or cut your throat in bed.

    I shall demonstrate to the judicious, that France and Rome are at
    the bottom of this horrid conspiracy against me; and that culprit
    aforesaid is a popish emissary, has paid his visits to St.
    Germains, and is now in the measures of Lewis XIV. That in
    attempting my reputation, there is a general massacre of learning
    designed in these realms; and through my sides there is a wound
    given to all the Protestant almanack-makers in the universe.

    Vivat Regina.
    ___________________________________________

    A vindication of Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq; against what is objected
    to him by Mr. Partridge in his almanack for the present year
    1709.



    By the said Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq;

    Written in the year 1709.

    Mr. Partridge hath been lately pleased to treat me after a very
    rough manner, in that which is called, his almanack for the
    present year: Such usage is very undecent from one gentleman to
    another, and does not at all contribute to the discovery of
    truth, which ought to be the great end in all disputes of the
    learned. To call a man fool and villain, and impudent fellow,
    only for differing from him in a point meer speculative, is, in
    my humble opinion, a very improper style for a person of his
    education. I appeal to the learned world, whether in my last
    year's predictions I gave him the least provocation for such
    unworthy treatment. Philosophers have differed in all ages; but
    the discreetest among them have always differed as became
    philosophers. Scurrility and passion, in a controversy among
    scholars, is just so much of nothing to the purpose, and at best,
    a tacit confession of a weak cause: My concern is not so much for
    my own reputation, as that of the Republick of Letters, which Mr.
    Partridge hath endeavoured to wound through my sides. If men of
    publick spirit must be superciliously treated for their ingenious
    attempts, how will true useful knowledge be ever advanced? I wish
    Mr. Partridge knew the thoughts which foreign universities have
    conceived of his ungenerous proceedings with me; but I am too
    tender of his reputation to publish them to the world. That
    spirit of envy and pride, which blasts so many rising genius's in
    our nation, is yet unknown among professors abroad: The necessity
    of justifying myself will excuse my vanity, when I tell the
    reader that I have near a hundred honorary letters from several
    parts of Europe (some as far as Muscovy) in praise of my
    performance. Besides several others, which, as I have been
    credibly informed, were open'd in the post-office and never sent
    me. 'Tis true the Inquisition in Portugal was pleased to burn my
    predictions, and condem the author and readers of them; but I
    hope at the same time, it will be consider'd in how deplorable a
    state learning lies at present in that kingdom: And with the
    profoundest veneration for crown'd heads, I will presume to add,
    that it a little concerned His Majesty of Portugal, to interpose
    his authority in behalf of a scholar and a gentleman, the subject
    of a nation with which he is now in so strict an alliance. But
    the other kingdoms and states of Europe have treated me with more
    candor and generosity. If I had leave to print the Latin letters
    transmitted to me from foreign parts, they would fill a volume,
    and be a full defence against all that Mr. Partridge, or his
    accomplices of the Portugal Inquisition, will be able to object;
    who, by the way, are the only enemies my predictions have ever
    met with at home or abroad. But I hope I know better what is due
    to the honour of a learned correspondence in so tender a point.
    Yet some of those illustrious persons will perhaps excuse me from
    transcribing a passage or two in my own vindication. The most
    learned Monsieur Leibnits thus addresses to me his third letter:
    Illustrissimo Bickerstaffio Astrologiae instauratori, etc.
    Monsieur le Clerc, quoting my predictions in a treatise he
    published last year, is pleased to say, Ita nuperrime
    Bickerstaffius magnum illud Angliae fidus. Another great
    professor writing of me, has these words: Bickerstaffius, nobilis
    Anglus, Astrologorum hujusce Saeculi facile Princeps. Signior
    Magliabecchi, the Great Duke's famous library-keeper, spends
    almost his whole letter in compliments and praises. 'Tis true,
    the renowned Professor of Astronomy at Utrecht, seems to differ
    from me in one article; but it is in a modest manner, that
    becomes a philosopher; as, Pace tanti viri dixerim: And pag.55,
    he seems to lay the error upon the printer (as indeed it ought)
    and says, vel forsan error typographi, cum alioquin
    Bickerstaffius ver doctissimus, etc.

    If Mr. Partridge had followed this example in the controversy
    between us, he might have spared me the trouble of justifying
    myself in so publick a manner. I believe few men are readier to
    own their errors than I, or more thankful to those who will
    please to inform me of them. But it seems this gentleman, instead
    of encouraging the progress of his own art, is pleased to look
    upon all attempts of that kind as an invasion of his province. He
    has been indeed so wise to make no objection against the truth of
    my predictions, except in one single point, relating to himself:
    And to demonstrate how much men are blinded by their own
    partiality, I do solemnly assure the reader, that he is the only
    person from whom I ever heard that objection offered; which
    consideration alone, I think, will take off all its weight.

    With my utmost endeavours, I have not been able to trace above
    two objections ever made against the truth of my last year's
    prophecies: The first was of a French man, who was pleased to
    publish to the world, that the Cardinal de Noailles was still
    alive, notwithstanding the pretended prophecy of Monsieur
    Biquerstaffe: But how far a Frenchman, a papist, and an enemy is
    to be believed in his own case against an English Protestant, who
    is true to his government, I shall leave to the candid and
    impartial reader.

    The other objection is the unhappy occasion of this discourse,
    and relates to an article in my predictions, which foretold the
    death of Mr. Partridge, to happen on March 29, 1708. This he is
    pleased to contradict absolutely in the almanack he has published
    for the present year, and in that ungentlemanly manner (pardon
    the expression) as I have above related. In that work he very
    roundly asserts, That he is not only now alive, but was likewise
    alive upon that very 29th of March, when I had foretold he should
    die. This is the subject of the present controversy between us;
    which I design to handle with all brevity, perspicuity, and
    calmness: In this dispute, I am sensible the eyes not only of
    England, but of all Europe, will be upon us; and the learned in
    every country will, I doubt not, take part on that side, where
    they find most appearance of reason and truth.

    Without entering into criticisms of chronology about the hour of
    his death, I shall only prove that Mr. Partridge is not alive.
    And my first argument is thus: Above a thousand gentelmen having
    bought his almanacks for this year, merely to find what he said
    against me; at every line they read, they would lift up their
    eyes, and cry out, betwixt rage and laughter, "They were sure no
    man alive ever writ such damn'd stuff as this." Neither did I
    ever hear that opinion disputed: So that Mr. Partridge lies under
    a dilemma, either of disowning his almanack, or allowing himself
    to be "no man alive". But now if an uninformed carcase walks
    still about, and is pleased to call itself Partridge, Mr.
    Bickerstaff does not think himself any way answerable for that.
    Neither had the said carcase any right to beat the poor boy who
    happen'd to pass by it in the street, crying, "A full and true
    account of Dr. Partridge's death, etc."

    Secondly, Mr. Partridge pretends to tell fortunes, and recover
    stolen goods; which all the parish says he must do by conversing
    with the devil and other evil spirits: And no wise man will ever
    allow he could converse personally with either, till after he was
    dead.

    Thirdly, I will plainly prove him to be dead out of his own
    almanack for this year, and from the very passage which he
    produces to make us think him alive. He there says, "He is not
    only now alive, but was also alive on the very 29th of March,
    which I foretold he should die on": By this, he declares his
    opinion, that a man may be alive now, who was not alive a
    twelvemonth ago. And indeed, there lies the sophistry of this
    argument. He dares not assert, he was alive ever since that 29th
    of March, but that he is now alive, and was so on that day: I
    grant the latter; for he did not die till night, as appears by
    the printed account of his death, in a letter to a lord; and
    whether he is since revived I leave the world to judge. This
    indeed is perfect cavilling, and I am ashamed to dwell any longer
    upon it.

    Fourthly, I will appeal to Mr. Partridge himself, whether it be
    probable I could have been so indiscreet, to begin my predictions
    with the only falsehood that ever was pretended to be in them;
    and this in an affair at home, where I had so many opportunities
    to be exact; and must have given such advantages against me to a
    person of Mr. Partridge's wit and learning, who, if he could
    possibly have raised one single objection more against the truth
    of my prophecies, would hardly have spared me.

    And here I must take occasion to reprove the above mention'd
    writer of the relation of Mr. Partridge's death, in a letter to a
    lord; who was pleased to tax me with a mistake of four whole
    hours in my calculation of that event. I must confess, this
    censure pronounced with an air of certainty, in a matter that so
    nearly concerned me, and by a grave judicious author, moved me
    not a little. But tho' I was at that time out of town, yet
    several of my friends, whose curiosity had led them to be exactly
    informed (for as to my own part, having no doubt at all in the
    matter, I never once thought of it) assured me, I computed to
    something under half an hour: which (I speak my private opinion)
    is an error of no very great magnitude, that men should raise a
    clamour about it. I shall only say, it would not be amiss, if
    that author would henceforth be more tender of other men's
    reputations as well as his own. It is well there were no more
    mistakes of that kind; if there had, I presume he would have told
    me of them with as little ceremony.

    There is one objection against Mr. Partridge's death, which I
    have sometimes met with, though indeed very slightly offered,
    That he still continues to write almanacks. But this is no more
    than what is common to all that profession; Gadbury, Poor Robin,
    Dove, Wing, and several others, do yearly publish their
    almanacks, though several of them have been dead since before the
    Revolution. Now the natural reason of this I take to be, that
    whereas it is the privilege of other authors to live after their
    deaths; almanack-makers are alone excluded, because their
    dissertations treating only upon the minutes as they pass, become
    useless as those go off. In consideration of which, Time, whose
    registers they are, gives them a lease in reversion, to continue
    their works after their death.

    I should not have given the publick or myself the trouble of this
    vindication, if my name had not been made use of by several
    persons, to whom I never lent it; one of which, a few days ago,
    was pleased to father on me a new sett of predictions. But I
    think those are things too serious to be trifled with. It grieved
    me to the heart, when I saw my labours, which had cost me so much
    thought and watching, bawl'd about by common hawkers, which I
    only intended for the weighty consideration of the gravest
    persons. This prejudiced the world so much at first, that several
    of my friends had the assurance to ask me whether I were in jest?
    To which I only answered coldly, that the event would shew. But
    it is the talent of our age and nation, to turn things of the
    greatest importance into ridicule. When the end of the year had
    verified all my predictions, out comes Mr. Partridge's almanack,
    disputing the point of his death; so that I am employed, like the
    general who was forced to kill his enemies twice over, whom a
    necromancer had raised to life. If Mr. Partridge has practised
    the same experiment upon himself, and be again alive, long may he
    continue so; that does not in the least contradict my veracity:
    But I think I have clearly proved, by invincible demonstration,
    that he died at farthest within half an hour of the time I
    foretold, and not four hours sooner, as the above-mentioned
    author, in his letter to a lord, hath maliciously suggested, with
    design to blast my credit, by charging me with so gross a
    mistake.
    _______________________________________

    A famous prediction of Merlin, the British wizard.



    Written above a thousand years ago, and relating to the year
    1709, with explanatory notes.

    Last year was publish'd a paper of predictions, pretended to be
    written by one Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq; but the true design of it
    was to ridicule the art of astrology, and expose its professors
    as ignorant or impostors. Against this imputation, Dr. Partridge
    hath vindicated himself in his almanack for that year.

    For a farther vindication of this famous art, I have thought fit
    to present the world with the following prophecy. The original is
    said to be of the famous Merlin, who lived about a thousand years
    ago; and the following translation is two hundred years old, for
    it seems to be written near the end of Henry the Seventh's reign.
    I found it in an old edition of Merlin's Prophecies, imprinted at
    London by John Hawkins in the year 1530, page 39. I set it down
    word for word in the old orthography, and shall take leave to
    subjoin a few explanatory notes.

    Seven and Ten addyd to Nyne,
    Of Fraunce her Woe this is the Sygne,
    Tamys Rivere twys y-frozen,
    Walke sans wetyng Shoes ne Hozen.
    Then comyth foorthe, ich understonde,
    From Town of Stoffe to farryn Londe,
    An herdye Chyftan, woe the Morne
    To Fraunce, that evere he was born.
    Than shall the fyshe beweyle his Bosse;
    Nor shall grin Berrys make up the Losse.
    Yonge Symnele shall again miscarrye:
    And Norways Pryd again shall marrye.
    And from the tree where Blosums feele,
    Ripe Fruit shall come, and all is wele,
    Reaums shall daunce Honde in Honde,
    And it shall be merrye in old Inglonde,
    Then old Inglonde shall be no more,
    And no man shall be sorre therefore.
    Geryon shall have three Hedes agayne,
    Till Hapsburge makyth them but twayne.

    Explanatory notes.

    Seven and Ten. This line describes the year when these events
    shall happen. Seven and ten makes seventeen, which I explain
    seventeen hundred, and this number added to nine, makes the year
    we are now in; for it must be understood of the natural year,
    which begins the first of January.

    Tamys Rivere twys, etc. The River Thames, frozen twice in one
    year, so as men to walk on it, is a very signal accident, which
    perhaps hath not fallen out for several hundred years before, and
    is the reason why some astrologers have thought that this
    prophecy could never be fulfilled, because they imagine such a
    thing would never happen in our climate.

    From Town of Stoffe, etc. This is a plain designation of the Duke
    of Marlborough: One kind of stuff used to fatten land is called
    marle, and every body knows that borough is a name for a town;
    and this way of expression is after the usual dark manner of old
    astrological predictions.

    Then shall the Fyshe, etc. By the fish, is understood the Dauphin
    of France, as their kings eldest sons are called: 'Tis here said,
    he shall lament the loss of the Duke of Burgundy, called the
    Bosse, which is an old English word for hump-shoulder, or
    crook-back, as that Duke is known to be; and the prophecy seems
    to mean, that he should be overcome or slain. By the green
    berrys, in the next line, is meant the young Duke of Berry, the
    Dauphin's third son, who shall not have valour or fortune enough
    to supply the loss of his eldest brother.

    Yonge Symnele, etc. By Symnele is meant the pretended Prince of
    Wales, who, if he offers to attempt anything against England,
    shall miscarry as he did before. Lambert Symnele is the name of a
    young man, noted in our histories for personating the son (as I
    remember) of Edward the fourth.

    And Norway's Pryd, etc. I cannot guess who is meant by Norway's
    Pride, perhaps the reader may, as well as the sense of the two
    following lines.

    Reaums shall, etc. Reums, or, as the word is now, realms, is the
    old name for kingdoms: And this is a very plain prediction of our
    happy Union, with the felicities that shall attend it. It is
    added that Old England shall be no more, and yet no man shall be
    sorry for it. And indeed, properly speaking, England is now no
    more, for the whole island is one Kingdom, under the name of
    Britain.

    Geryon shall, etc. This prediction, tho' somewhat obscure, is
    wonderfully adapt. Geryon is said to have been a king of Spain,
    whom Hercules slew. It was a fiction of the poets, that he had
    three heads, which the author says he shall have again: That is,
    Spain shall have three kings; which is now wonderfully verified;
    for besides the King of Portugal, which properly is part of
    Spain, there are now two rivals for Spain, Charles and Philip:
    But Charles being descended fro the Count of Hapsburgh, founder
    of the Austrian family, shall soon make those heads but two; by
    overturning Philip, and driving him out of Spain.

    Some of these predictions are already fulfilled; and it is highly
    probable the rest may be in due time; and, I think, I have not
    forced the words, by my explication, into any other sense than
    what they will naturally bear. If this be granted, I am sure it
    must be also allow'd, that the author (whoever he were) was a
    person of extraordinary sagacity; and that astrology brought to
    such perfection as this, is by no means an art to be despised,
    whatever Mr. Bickerstaff, or other merry gentlemen are pleased to
    think. As to the tradition of these lines having been writ in the
    original by Merlin, I confess I lay not much weight upon it: But
    it is enough to justify their authority, that the book from
    whence I have transcrib'd them, was printed 170 years ago, as
    appears by the title-page. For the satisfaction of any gentleman,
    who may be either doubtful of the truth, or curious to be
    inform'd; I shall give order to have the very book sent to the
    printer of this paper, with directions to let anybody see it that
    pleases, because I believe it is pretty scarce.
    _____________________________________

    [Dr. John Arbuthnot and Alexander Pope]

    Annus Mirabilis: or,
    The wonderful effects of the approaching conjunction of the
    planets Jupiter, Mars, and Saturn.



    By Mart. Scriblerus, Philomath.

    In nova fert animus mutatas dicere formas corpora.....

    I suppose every body is sufficiently appriz'd of, and duly
    prepar'd for, the famous conjunction to be celebrated the 29th of
    this instant December, 1722, foretold by all the sages of
    antiquity, under the name of the Annus Mirabilis, or the
    metamorphostical conjunction: a word which denotes the mutual
    transformation of sexes, (the effect of that configuration of the
    celestial bodies) the human males being turn'd into females, and
    the human females into males.

    The Egyptians have represented this great transformation by
    several significant hieroglyphicks, particularly one very
    remarkable. There are carv'd upon an obelisk, a barber and a
    midwife; the barber delivers his razor to the midwife, and she
    her swadling-cloaths to the barber. Accordingly Thales Milesius
    (who like the rest of his countrymen, borrow'd his learning from
    the Egyptians) after having computed the time of this famous
    conjunction, "Then," says he, "shall men and women mutually
    exchange the pangs of shaving and child-bearing."

    Anaximander modestly describes this metamorphosis in mathematical
    terms: "Then," says he, "shall the negative quantity of the women
    be turn'd into positive, their - into +;" (i.e.) their minus into
    plus.

    Plato not only speaks of this great change, but describes all the
    preparations towards it. "Long before the bodily transformation,
    (says he) nature shall begin the most difficult part of her work,
    by changing the ideas and inclinations of the two sexes: Men
    shall turn effeminate, and women manly; wives shall domineer, and
    husbands obey; ladies shall ride a horseback, dress'd like
    cavaliers; princes and nobles appear in night-rails and
    petticoats; men shall squeak upon theatres with female voices,
    and women corrupt virgins; lords shall knot and cut paper; and
    even the northern people.........:" A Greek phrase (which for
    modesty's sake I forbear to translate) which denotes a vice too
    frequent amongst us.

    That the Ministry foresaw this great change, is plain from the
    Callico-Act; whereby it is now become the occupation of women all
    over England, to convert their useless female habits into beds,
    window-curtains, chairs, and joint-stools; undressing themselves
    (as it were) before their transformation.

    The philosophy of this transformation will not seem surprizing to
    people who search into the bottom of things. Madam Bourignon, a
    devout French lady, has shewn us, how man was at first created
    male and female in one individual, having the faculty of
    propagation within himself: A circumstance necessary to the state
    of innocence, wherein a man's happiness was not to depend upon
    the caprice of another. It was not till after he had made a faux
    pas, that he had his female mate. Many such transformations of
    individuals have been well attested; particularly one by
    Montaigne, and another by the late Bishop of Salisbury. From all
    which it appears, that this system of male and female has already
    undergone and may hereafter suffer, several alterations. Every
    smatterer in anatomy knows, that a woman is but an introverted
    man; a new fusion and flatus will turn the hollow bottom of a
    bottle into a convexity; but I forbear, (for the sake of my
    modest men-readers, who are in a few days to be virgins.)

    In some subjects, the smallest alterations will do: some men are
    sufficiently spread about the hips, and contriv'd with female
    softness, that they want only the negative quantity to make them
    buxom wenches; and there are women who are, as it were, already
    the ebauche of a good sturdy man. If nature cou'd be puzzl'd, it
    will be how to bestow the redundant matter of the exuberant
    bubbies that now appear about town, or how to roll out the short
    dapper fellows into well-siz'd women.

    This great conjunction will begin to operate on Saturday the 29th
    instant. Accordingly, about eight at night, as Senezino shall
    begin at the Opera, si videte, he shall be observ'd to make an
    unusual motion; upon which the audience will be affected with a
    red suffusion over their countenance: And because a strong
    succession of the muscles of the belly is necessary towards
    performing this great operation, both sexes will be thrown into a
    profuse involuntary laughter. Then (to use the modest terms of
    Anaximander) shall negative quantity be turn'd into positive,
    etc. Time never beheld, nor will it ever assemble, such a number
    of untouch'd virgins within those walls! but alas! such will be
    the impatience and curiosity of people to act in their new
    capacity, that many of them will be compleated men and women that
    very night. To prevent the disorders that may happen upon this
    occasion, is the chief design of this paper.

    Gentlemen have begun already to make use of this conjunction to
    compass their filthy purposes. They tell the ladies forsooth,
    that it is only parting with a perishable commodity, hardly of so
    much value as a callico under-petticoat; since, like its
    mistress, it will be useless in the form it is now in. If the
    ladies have no regard to the dishonour and immorality of the
    action, I desire they will consider, that nature who never
    destroys her own productions, will exempt big-belly'd women till
    the time of their lying-in; so that not to be transformed, will
    be the same as to be pregnant. If they don't think it worth while
    to defend a fortress that is to be demolish'd in a few days, let
    them reflect that it will be a melancholy thing nine months
    hence, to be brought to bed of a bastard; a posthumous bastard as
    it were, to which the quondam father can be no more than a dry
    nurse.

    This wonderful transformation is the instrument of nature, to
    balance matters between the sexes. The cruelty of scornful
    mistresses shall be return'd; the slighted maid shall grow into
    an imperious gallant, and reward her undoer with a big belly, and
    a bastard.

    It is hardly possible to imagine the revolutions that this
    wonderful phaenomenon will occasion over the face of the earth. I
    long impatiently to see the proceedings of the Parliament of
    Paris, as to the title of succession to the crown, this being a
    case not provided for by the salique law. There will be no
    preventing disorders amongst friars and monks; for certainly vows
    of chastity do not bind but under the sex in which they were
    made. The same will hold good with marriages, tho' I think it
    will be a scandal amongst Protestants for husbands and wives to
    part, since there remains still a possibility to perform the
    debitus conjugale, by the husband being femme couverte. I submit
    it to the judgment of the gentlemen of the long robe, whether
    this transformation does not discharge all suits of rapes?

    The Pope must undergo a new groping; but the false prophet
    Mahomet has contriv'd matters well for his successors; for as the
    Grand Signior has now a great many fine women, he will then have
    as many fine young gentelmen, at his devotion.

    These are surprizing scenes; but I beg leave to affirm, that the
    solemn operations of nature are subjects of contemplation, not of
    ridicule. Therefore I make it my earnest request to the merry
    fellows, and giggling girls about town, that they would not put
    themselves in a high twitter, when they go to visit a general
    lying-in of his first child; his officers serving as midwives,
    nurses and rockers dispensing caudle; or if they behold the
    reverend prelates dressing the heads and airing the linnen at
    court, I beg they will remember that these offices must be fill'd
    with people of the greatest regularity, and best characters. For
    the same reason, I am sorry that a certain prelate, who
    notwithstanding his confinement (in December 1723), still
    preserves his healthy, chearful countenance, cannot come in time
    to be a nurse at court.

    I likewise earnestly intreat the maids of honour, (then ensigns
    and captains of the guard) that, at their first setting out, they
    have some regard to their former station, and do not run wild
    through all the infamous houses about town: That the present
    grooms of the bed-chamber (then maids of honour) would not eat
    chalk and lime in their green-sickness: And in general, that the
    men would remember they are become retromingent, and not by
    inadvertency lift up against walls and posts.

    Petticoats will not be burdensome to the clergy; but balls and
    assemblies will be indecent for some time.

    As for you, coquettes, bawds, and chamber-maids, (the future
    ministers, plenipotentiaries, and cabinet-counsellors to the
    princes of the earth,) manage the great intrigues that will be
    committed to your charge, with your usual secrecy and conduct;
    and the affairs of your masters will go better than ever.

    O ye exchange women! (our right worshipful representatives that
    are to be) be not so griping in the sale of your ware as your
    predecessors, but consider that the nation, like a spend-thrift
    heir, has run out: Be likewise a little more continent in your
    tongues than you are at present, else the length of debates will
    spoil your dinners.

    You housewifely good women, who not preside over the
    confectionary, (henceforth commissioners of the Treasury) be so
    good as to dispense the sugar-plumbs of the Government with a
    more impartial and frugal hand.

    Ye prudes and censorious old maids, (the hopes of the Bench)
    exert but your usual talent of finding faults, and the laws will
    be strictly executed; only I would not have you proceed upon such
    slender evidences as you have done hitherto.

    It is from you, eloquent oyster-merchants of Billingsgate, (just
    ready to be called to the Bar, and quoif'd like your
    sister-serjants,) that we expect the shortening the time, and
    lessening the expences of law-suits: For I think you are observ'd
    to bring your debates to a short issue; and even custom will
    restrain you from taking the oyster, and leaving only the shell
    to your client.

    O ye physicians, (who in the figure of old women are to clean the
    tripe in the markets) scour it as effectually as you have done
    that of your patients, and the town will fare most deliciously on
    Saturdays.

    I cannot but congratulate human nature, upon this happy
    transformation; the only expedient left to restore the liberties
    and tranquillity of mankind. This is so evident, that it is
    almost an affront to common sense to insist upon the proof: If
    there can be any such stupid creature as to doubt it, I desire he
    will make but the following obvious reflection. There are in
    Europe alone, at present, about a million of sturdy fellows,
    under the denomination of standing forces, with arms in their
    hands: That those are masters of the lives, liberties and
    fortunes of all the rest, I believe no body will deny. It is no
    less true in fact, that reams of paper, and above a square mile
    of skins of vellum have been employ'd to no purpose, to settle
    peace among those sons of violence. Pray, who is he that will say
    unto them, Go and disband yourselves? But lo! by this
    transformation it is done at once, and the halcyon days of
    publick tranquillity return: For neither the military temper nor
    discipline can taint the soft sex for a whole age to come:
    Bellaque matribus invisa, War odious to mothers, will not grow
    immediately palatable in their paternal state.

    Nor will the influence of this transformation be less in family
    tranquillity, than it is in national. Great faults will be
    amended, and frailties forgiven, on both sides. A wife who has
    been disturb'd with late hours, and choak'd with the hautgout of
    a sot, will remember her sufferings, and avoid the temptations;
    and will, for the same reason, indulge her mate in his female
    capacity in some passions, which she is sensible from experience
    are natural to the sex. Such as vanity of fine cloaths, being
    admir'd, etc. And how tenderly must she use her mate under the
    breeding qualms and labour-pains which she hath felt her self? In
    short, all unreasonable demands upon husbands must cease, because
    they are already satisfy'd from natural experience that they are
    impossible.

    That the ladies may govern the affairs of the world, and the
    gentlemen those of their houshold, better than either of them
    have hitherto done, is the hearty desire of,
    Their most sincere well-wisher,
    M.S.